#i like to think that clem is still into cheer

[luciddaydreamingworlds]

A bit of a sketch dump, featuring a new Oc, more Clem and Crystal, and Mikhail and Raz. The lanky af dude is Cleff Foote, Clem's uncle.

Cleff is a Psychonauts agent, and he used to be a field agent, but a recent-ish injury got him pulled from field work. Which, honestly, is alright by him. It gave him more time to sort out legal matters and pull himself together enough to take in his nibling.

Also starting to try sketching in coloured pencil on paper. I looove the fact that it doesn't smear, omg-

[ellieluvr420]

Friends? Never. Pt.19 (Ellie Williams x reader)

MASTERLIST (and information about Palestine) Please read!

SYNOPSIS: You and Ellie had been bitter enemies for years now but before that you were best friends. You had always planned to be roommates one day but when that becomes a reality the situation isn't exactly how you both imagined it.

SMUT mdni 🤗

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

It had been a week since you and Ellie had started your new jobs and the group that you were training was making progress, their aim was improving and their ability to fight was ten times better than it had been when they started. Even Amber had begun to improve and take your advice without challenging you at every step of the way. Clem was thriving at school, and you looked forward to hearing her ramblings of the day more than anything.  

The group was doing shooting practise and you watched quietly as Ellie walked around the group inspecting their stances and their handling of the gun. She had been short-tempered today and it puzzled you but you brushed it off anyway. She had made Harvey and Mike do drills when she caught them messing about instead of sparring but not before she bit both their heads off harshly enough that they had been silent up until now. The sight amused you but you were confused because she was never like this with them. Amber had asked her to help her get more power into her punches and you both saw straight through it, you had to give it to the girl, she was persistent. Even after it being revealed that you and Ellie were together and even after they had walked in on Ellie kissing your cheek eliciting whoops and cheers from them all, she was still hopelessly flirting with Ellie which often gave you both a laugh at home.  

“You’re not tensing your body enough and your movements are too slow. Keep your body rigid and speed up. I’ve already told you this.” She snapped at Amber. 

“But-” 

“Hey can you come here?” She had called over to you, you approaching slightly confused as was Amber until Ellie put her hands on your hips and spun you around to face away from her as she squeezed at the soft of them. “Throw a punch.” She whispered in your ear and the intimacy made your body tingly, this wasn’t like any of the usual demonstrations she had done with you, there was something different about it though you couldn’t quite put your finger on what it was that was making you feel strange. You threw a punch as she gripped onto your hips, her hands squeezing impossibly tighter, not to stop your hips from moving, she knew they wouldn’t but she savoured the feel of them in her hands anyway. “See how my hands didn’t move, you’re not tensing so you lose the power.” 

“Can you try that with me? I just feel like I won’t be able to tell a difference unless I know how its supposed to feel.” She smiled coyly as your eyebrows quirked in disbelief at the audacity of her. 

“Can you deal with her please?” Ellie sighed as she stormed off to go watch another pair, you don’t miss the dejected expression on Amber’s face causing you to roll your eyes as you take your place behind her.  

“Do you actually want help or were you just trying to get my girlfriend to touch you?” Her mouth falls open at your harsh tone and she shakes her head as Maisie watches in amusement. 

“N-no I actually want help.” 

“Good.” You gripped onto her hips as you watched Ellie who was a picture of frustration. “Throw a punch.” You held onto her as firmly as possible as she threw the punch and then let go. “Did that feel different?” 

“Yeah I think I understand now, thanks.” You nod and walk off back to your original position. 

After that as you watched Ellie snap at George while he was aiming his gun you realised you needed to figure out what was going on. 

“How many times do I have to tell you your feet are meant to be shoulder-width apart? Do you not know what that means? Do you not know what fucking shoulders are? I’m asking you a question so answer me.” She got in his face and you rushed over to intervene as you dragged her away from the group. 

“You need to chill the fuck out.” She huffs and rolls her eyes. “I’m gonna give them a talk about knives because its long overdue and you can just stand and be quiet okay? You’re gonna get bollocked by Maria so wind your neck in.” You call everyone over and have them sit down so you can talk about knives and explain the importance of them. “Right guys, you’ve practised with guns and you are getting better, still a ways to go but we’ve already seen a lot of improvement but it’s super important you don’t forget the usefulness of a knife. Knives are so underrated but they are so good because as long as you keep hold of it, you can use it over and over again but the main reason they are so good is because they are silent. If you are out on patrol and you encounter one infected and you decide to shoot it, the sound of that gunshot could attract a whole horde towards you. So, that being said, use your knife as your first resort and your gun as your last.” You walk over to where all the weapons are stored and brandish a five-inch knife. “This knife is only five-inches-” 

“Oh come on don’t say only, five is a respectable length.” Harvey calls out as all the group laugh. Ellie goes to step forward with a look that could kill but you hold her bicep hard enough that your knuckles go white as you keep her in place. 

“Thank you so much for sharing that information with us Harvey, that makes want I’m about to say even funnier because it’s not the size of the knife that matters, it’s how you use it.” They all whoop and cheer as you chuckle along while glancing at Ellie that didn’t even crack a smile as she sneered at them. “Once again, the neck is a vulnerable point. I want you all to find your pulse on your neck for me.” They all put two fingers on their neck to find their pulse and you do the same to Ellie noticing how her cheeks redden and she fidgets slightly. “Where you can feel your pulse, that is the carotid artery, you hit that and someone will bleed out in seconds. You need to get good at being able to aim your knives for the vulnerable parts of the body as a reflex. I’ll show you.” You take your knife and press it to Ellie’s neck where you know the artery is just from muscle memory, the knife isn’t pressing into her neck hard but she does gulp as her eyes flicker from the group to you and she bites her lip subtly, the blush never fading from her cheeks. “Ellie, put your fingers where your pulse is, please.” She does that and when her fingers are right below where your knife sat, you mentally pat yourself on the back. “You slash at that or actually stab someone there and you might’ve just saved your life, this does go for infected as well so keep that in mind. I want you to get in pairs and practise what me and Ellie just did, hold the knife up to the other person’s neck, not hard, seriously, and then let them find their pulse and see how close you are. First person to get it spot on doesn’t have to do drills at the end of today!” They all rush towards the knives and start practising. “Do not rush because someone will die, this is important, be adults about this.” You add before walking off with Ellie. “What the fuck is going on with you today? Are you ill? You’re all red and grumpy and it’s scaring me.” 

“Babe I need to fuck so bad.” 

“Oh my god.” Your tone is a mixture of disappointment and amusement. “That’s why you’ve had a stick up your ass all day? Because you’re horny? You are unbelievable.” You can’t help the giggle that erupts from you as she rolls her eyes and huffs at your amusement at her suffering. “Fine, we can fuck tonight but we have to be super quiet because of Clem.” 

“Oh my god babe you aren’t gonna know what hit you. I love you so much, thank you thank you thank you.” She steps towards you and reaches her hands out to your cheeks but you push them away gently with a smile as you flick your eyes towards the group that paid you no attention. She rolls her eyes before slyly grabbing your hand and pressing a sweet kiss to the back of it before looking over your shoulder and smiling at the lack of eyes on you both. It felt strange to sneak around but it excited you both more than you ever expected.  

You both watched as the group continued trying to find each other’s pulse’s until you heard a triumphant cheer from Amber as she jumped around. “I got it! I got it! I got her pulse!” 

“Congrats Amber, you now know how to kill someone quickly.” You deadpan. 

“Oh come on you were the one that made it a competition.” Ellie reasons with you as she smirks. “Amber! Lucky you. No drills for you today!” She smiles properly for the first time all day and everyone shares questioning looks at her sudden change in demeanour, you barely manage to hide your giggle as Amber continues jumping around and shoving it in everyone’s faces that she won. It all went quiet as Joel wondered in.  

“Hey kiddo!” He says to Ellie as he reaches you both. 

“Joel! They aren’t gonna fear me if you call me kiddo.” 

“They ain’t gonna fear you either way.” He chirps with a teasing grin.  

“I dunno Joel, they were shitting themselves today when she lost her shit at them.” 

“Yeah but I bet you scare the shit outta them all the time.” You nod your head in agreement as Ellie glares at you both. 

“Well that’s only because you got to deck Harvey on their first day.” She near-enough whines. 

“Shouldn’t have frozen and made me do all the talking then huh?” You smile sweetly as she huffs, you notice the group all quietly making their way over to the three of you, curious as to what you were all speaking about, nosy, you thought. 

“Guys if you wanna talk about a good shot, you gotta talk about this guy. He taught me everything I know.” Joel chuckles at Ellie’s words and bows his head to hide the blush that graced his cheeks slightly. 

“Is he your dad?” Harvey enquires causing Ellie to look like a deer in headlights as she glances from the group to Joel and back to the group. 

“Errr... y-yeah, yes he is.” She flashes a tight-lipped smile at Joel who mirrors her expression before clearing his throat and squeezing her shoulder.  

“Well I best get goin’, old and tired an’ all that. Best of luck to you all!” He smiles at them all and they all smile back, it’s sweet to you, their reaction to him. “Don’t work ‘em too hard eh.” He chortles before taking his leave as you turn to Ellie and grin at her, she notices your cheeky smile and scrunches her eyebrows in feigned confusion at you. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“Youuuu said Joel’s your dad.” You tease. 

“Oh whatever, he is kinda isn’t he?” 

“I’m glad you see it that way, I agree though.” You each smile and you see an idea flash over her mind before she grabs your wrist and checks your watch as she refuses to wear one herself. 

“Guys! We’re gonna call it a day early. Enjoy the rest of your day and we’ll see you back here-” 

“9AM SHARP!” They all finish her sentence causing her to chuckle as she nods them off, ignoring your confused look. 

“Come on! We’ve got an hour until Clem finishes school. Now we don’t have to be quiet.” 

“Oh you genius you! Don’t think Maria’s gonna be too happy about us calling off training early to fuck though.” 

“Well are you gonna tell her?” 

“Not likely.” You both giggle as you practically jog back to your cabin, both ecstatic at your last-minute plans, Ellie fighting the urge to skip like a giddy child. 

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“Oh fuck I missed this so much.” 

“We’re literally just kissing Ellie.” 

“I know I love kissing you.” Ellie rushes out before she presses her lips onto yours again like she was trying to suck the air out of you. Her hand snakes down your stomach and traces the curve of your hip before roughly running her hand down the outside of your thigh and squeezing as she lifts it to wrap even tighter around her hip. She’s pressing herself down onto you like you’re both magnetic as her tongue savours the taste of your mouth like she would never know it again. You raise your legs higher up Ellie’s hips and pull her into you more causing her to groan at the friction of your cunts rubbing together, even through each of your underwear, she felt like there was lightning coursing through her. 

“Aw someone’s needy.” You pout at her as you tease her and she scowls as she roughly grinds her clothed pussy over yours eliciting a quiet whine from your lips, she smirks as you roll your eyes before she leans down to feather kisses down your neck as she grinds herself down onto you even harder, her pace picks up as her attack on your neck intensifies and just as she begins to suck on the skin below your ear you push her off. “Ellie! You cannot give me hickeys, we’re parents now we have to be responsible.” 

“I hate that you’re right.” 

“Thought you’d be used to it by now.” 

“Oh whatever.” You giggle as she grabs a handful of your boob and squeezes, her head coming to rest in the crook of your neck. You’re both panting and gasping as the friction between you both was heating up your cores and tensing every muscle in your body. You couldn’t help but giggle at the way you were both about to come from dry-humping but it had been awhile for you both, not for most people but you each had the sex-drive of a teenage boy so for you, it had basically been months. “Shit I’m gonna cum this is so embarrassing.” 

“Hey I’m right there with you.” You breathe out through choked moans and as if you had spoken it into existence you both came with a symphony of groans, accompanied by the steady tremble of both your legs. You expect Ellie to collapse on top of you but she doesn’t, instead flashing you a cheeky grin as she ripped your underwear down your legs before hopping off the bed and straight to her drawer that you knew she kept the strap in. The memory of the day she found it flashes through your mind causing you to chuckle. She eyed you over her shoulder suspiciously before fixing the harness around her hips and walking over to you. She stands at the bed with a smug expression on her face as the bright pink appendage hangs from her hips. 

“You know I’d find it way sexier if you weren’t wearing batman boxers right now Ellie.” 

“You said you liked my batman boxers.” She frowns as you throw your head back in fits of laughter. 

“I-I do, I’m sorry I was kidding, come on babe.” You pat the bed next to you as you try to console yourself. You couldn’t help but wonder, first, where the hell did she find them? Secondly, how did you not notice she was wearing those until now? 

“You’re so lucky I love you.” She goes to climb on top of you once again but you sit up with a shake of your head as you press her down on her back before straddling her hips and gazing at her shell-shocked face in amusement. You sunk down onto her like you were two puzzle pieces fitting together perfectly and as your hips met hers you shivered at the feel of the dick lightly brushing against your cervix. You lean down, pressing your hands into the bed by Ellie’s head as you peck her lips over and over again, the slow rolling of your hips making you both gasp. 

You sat back up again and as you sped up the grinding of your hips against hers, you lifted your top, holding the hem between your teeth and squeezed your tits, pushing them together, giving Ellie a show that had her practically drooling. You were whimpering softly as the strap was hitting all the right spots in you before you felt her hands on your hips, gripping them to stop your movements. Your mouth drops open, dropping your top back down with it, as you furrow your eyebrows and she chuckles at you before snapping her hips up into you harshly enough that you keel over so your ear is right by her lips. 

“Sorry babe, you know I get impatient.” She whispers before drilling into you at such an unforgiving pace that tears roll down your cheeks as you bite down onto her shoulder. You felt like you were no longer on the planet and you were just floating up to heaven as your legs began to shake, your release rushing at you so quick you could barely catch your breath. She cooed at you as you unlatched from her shoulder and let a pornographic moan escape your lips as your body convulses with your orgasm. She slows to a stop and rubs at your back as you stay laid on top of her desperately trying to return your breathing to normal, the moment so sweet and intimate you felt like you were melting into her. “Babe, we gotta go get Clem.” You whine just a little, despite the excitement at seeing her precious little face, you felt completely drained causing Ellie to chuckle as she helps you off of her, laying you down on the bed. “Don’t worry I got it, I’ll let you recover.” She teases smugly as she removes the harness and starts redressing herself. 

She presses a quick kiss to your lips before rushing off to go pick up Clem as you lay there completely dazed trying to will yourself back to full consciousness. 

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

You were sitting on the sofa, watching a film as you gulped down your third glass of water when a frantic knock sounded at the door causing you to rush over to it and fling the door open. 

“Oh fuck... Hi!” Dina is standing at the door, tears pouring down her cheeks despite her attempts to hurriedly wipe them away. “Sorry, er- is Ellie home?” 

“No she’s picking up Clem, come inside, what’s going on?” 

“No no it’s okay, I’m being stupid anyway, can you just tell Ellie I need to talk to her please?” 

“Dina come inside and sit down for a sec, Ellie won’t be long anyway.” She takes a deep, shaky breath before nodding and walking inside, refusing to meet your worried eyes. You usher her over to the sofa as she desperately tries to stop the sobs that weren’t slowing down even for a second. “What’s going on? Are you okay? Is Jesse okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah he’s fine, I’m fine, I- I just...” She chokes out another sob as her face falls into her hands, you rub her back until she calms enough to speak. “I- I think I’m pregnant.” 

“Oh.” She dryly chuckles and you realise that was not the best reaction. “This is gonna sound silly but how do you feel about it?” 

“It doesn’t sound silly, I’m being silly. I’m not even upset I don’t know why the fuck I’m crying.” 

“Well I’m sure it’s all very overwhelming, you’re allowed to have mixed feelings about it.” 

“Thank you, it’s not that I’m upset and I’m not worried about how Jesse will react, he’s basically born to be a dad but what if I’m not born to be a mom? I’m nineteen for fuck’s sake and we live in such a fucked-up world and I just- I’m scared to bring a baby into it you know? What if I fuck them up?” 

“Oh Dina, you’re joking right? You’ve been mothering everyone around you for as long as I’ve known you. That kid is gonna be so lucky to have you and Jesse as their parents and yeah the world is fucked-up, but Jackson isn’t, as far as I can see, that kid has won the fucking lottery.” You comfort her softly and for the first time she smiles brightly, beaming at you before pulling you into a tight hug. 

“Thank you, you’re an angel. Fuck okay, I- I feel like I can breathe again. I think I just needed someone to help me process this, sorry for lumping all this on you.” She gestures towards her and specifically her stomach and you can’t help but chuckle. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, I’m really happy you told me. I’m so fucking happy for you D.” You both beam at each other before giggling like school girls. 

“How has it been with Clem anyway? You and Ellie are basically my experts on parenting which is a scary thought.” That makes you chuckle. 

“You’re telling me. D, they’re the fucking best. Clem is the sweetest kid I have ever met, I can be in the foulest mood and I see her face and all of a sudden it’s gone. The other day I was on my period and I felt like shit, like I was laying in Ellie’s bed crying because my cramps were so bad and she just waltzes in, climbs in the bed with me and tells me a shitty joke that she obviously got from Ellie and I could barely feel the cramps anymore because I was laughing so hard. Seeing Ellie with her too, I could watch them all day long, Clem is basically a carbon copy of Ellie and I swear it’s the best entertainment around. I fucking love having Clem and you are gonna love having that little one too.” 

“Oh that is so sweet, you have made me feel so much better...” She trails off before giggling. “What was the joke?” 

“What is the downside of eating a clock?” You pause as she thinks for��a moment before shrugging her shoulders in defeat. “It’s time-consuming.” You both erupt into laughter as you clutch your stomach, tears sprouting in your eyes.  

“Oh my god that is awful but so Ellie.” 

“I know.” You both calm down and Dina smiles at you appreciatively before the door slams open, revealing an out-of-breath Clem bursting into the hallway.  

“Hey you so cheated!” Ellie’s voice booms through the house. 

“Nuh uh. You’re just slow!” Clem replies defensively before she spots you in the living room and comes bounding towards you, jumping onto you and wrapping her small arms around your neck. “Mommyyyy! I missed you. I beat Ellie in our race!” 

“Oh did you now? I am not surprised one bit and I missed you so much more baby, seriously I missed your cute little face since we dropped you off this morning.” She giggles before turning to Dina as she rests her head on your shoulder.  

“Hi Dina! Are you okay?” She enquires noticing the wet sheen of her cheeks and her puffy eyes. 

“Oh yeah I am all good sweetie. Your mommy here just told me one of your jokes and I laughed so hard I cried!” 

“Which one! Which one!?” 

“The clock one.” 

“That’s one of my favourites.” Clem yawns as she finishes her sentence. 

“Mine too.” Dina agrees as Ellie walks into the room, rosy cheeked with a confused look on her face as she makes eye contact with Dina. 

“Hey D, you okay?” 

“Oh yeah, yeah I’m fine.” 

“Er me and Clem will give you two a minute alone.” You beam before letting Clem clamber off you and leading her out of the room and towards the garden, kissing Ellie hello quickly as you pass her.  

You and Clem sit in the afternoon sun as she tells you all about her day down to every last detail and you were enthralled the entire time, you could listen to her ramble on for hours and hours, for a lifetime even, which is good because that’s how things seemed to be going, a quiet moment always interrupted by the welcome chatter of either Ellie or Clem, often both. 

After fifteen minutes Ellie walks outside coming to sit beside you as she kisses your cheek and whispers a small ‘hey’.  

“Is Dina gone?” 

“Yeah she’s uh- she's gonna go home and talk to Jesse.” 

“Probably best, wow right?” 

“Wow isn’t even the word, holy fuck.” You don’t even condemn her lude language in front of Clem anymore as it seems to only spur her on further. 

“I’m happy for them though, they’re gonna be amazing.” 

“Oh yeah for sure. She kept going on about how they’re so young and it made me realise we are all just kids doing our best for littler kids, you know?” 

“Oh I know. Isn’t it the best though?” 

“Wouldn’t change it for the world.” She beams at you and you rest your head on her shoulder as you watch Clem who was dancing around to music only she could hear, she was so perfect, you’d do anything to be the best for her. 

tags: @emiliabby @readbydayana @radioheadfan699 @lil-elliesgf @isitadinosaur @amberputh @maelovescashew @a-little-bit-of-everybody

[httpiastri]

devil in disguise – cn21

clement got into a fight.

genre: angsty??

pairing: female reader x boyfriend!clement novalak

warnings: mentions of blood, alcohol, fighting. basically describing an anxiety/panic attack so stay away if that might trigger you!

requested?: no

author's note: two pieces of writing in one day? who am i??? 😵 jk jk, this has just been sitting in my drafts for so long (since halloween-) and i just got tired of not posting it, so i just wrote an ending and here we are. welp. not super happy with this one, esp not the end, and im not sure how accurately i described the panic/anxiety (like. i just experience, i don't remember it after it happens. 😐), but i hope u enjoy!!

f2/f3 masterlist

"i can't believe you, clem."

the anger is still bubbling inside of you, yet your actions tell a different story. you've got one of his hands in yours, pressing an ice pack against the back of it gently to hopefully stop some of the swelling and bleeding.

"hey, baby-"

"no, don't you 'baby' me right now. bloody hell, what were you thinking?!"

to say that clement's halloween party had been a failure would be an understatement. you aren't exactly an avid party-goer, most often preferring to stay at home with a good book or a favorite show playing on the tv. in fact, you couldn't even recall when you last attended a party before this one. but, knowing that you're a big fan of halloween, clement invited you to his theme party. your boyfriend had promised to stay by your side and make sure you were comfortable, knowing how you sometimes get intimidated by large crowds, and it all went smoothly for most of the night. until it didn't anymore.

it all happened so quickly. one moment, there was a hand on your waist – one you assumed belonged to your boyfriend – and you leaned into his touch. the next, the hand was ripped off you and you spun around to see what was going on. and then, all you could see was clement's fist flying towards the stranger's face.

silence washed over the apartment momentarily, only to soon be shattered as screams and the thuds of fists against skin consumed the room.

but to you, it all went quiet. it felt like the world slowed down, and you were stuck watching as your boyfriend punched some dude you'd never seen before. you couldn't move, frozen in place as more people started getting involved, pulling the two apart or throwing punches of their own.

you felt yet another hand land on your shoulder, but this time it belonged to marcus. he pulled you back, away from the commotion, tucking your face into his chest to hide you from the ongoing fight. your lungs felt tight, your vision growing blurry.

the crowd scattered moments later, everyone but clement's closest friends leaving hurriedly. marcus guided you to the bedroom, ensuring that you weren't panicking completely before going out again to help out.

your relationship with clement is still relatively new, and you're both experimenting to find your dynamics and get to know each other. you know that you have a lot to learn about him – you just never thought that this was what was hiding behind his cheerful exterior.

clement's apartment is completely empty by now, with scattered plastic cups filling the floor and the pop music turned off. you make it out of his room once you know the coast is clear, tiptoeing into the living room to find him sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. his knuckles are still bleeding, just like a few bruises on his face.

"i wasn't thinking, i guess," he mumbles, eyes strictly focused down on his lap. he leans back slightly against the couch cushions. "i know you're too innocent for these kinds of things... i shouldn't have told you to come here in the first place."

you shake your head lightly, removing the ice pack and instead reaching for the box of wound cleansing wipes you'd gotten from his bathroom. "it's my own fault for asking if i could come."

clement smiles as he looks at you. he's come to learn how soft-spoken, shy, and timid you are; how you have a way of calming those around you. it's one of the many things making him fall for you. he's never been with anyone like you before, and it's different in such a refreshing way. "don't be sorry," he hums. "you had no idea what was going to happen."

"does this happen often?" you ask, beginning to rub a wipe against the bruises on his knuckles. "do you get into a lot of fights at parties?"

he pauses for a moment. "well... stuff like this does happen at times." he sighs. "i know it's bad, but... sometimes, you can't control it. i'm just sorry you got caught in the middle of it." your wipe is quickly filled up with dried blood and other dirt, and when you bend over to the couch table to put it away, clement's free hand reaches your hip. his gaze is on you when you lean back, his hand giving you a quick squeeze as a slight grin makes its way onto his lips. "do you find it attractive?" he raises his eyebrows teasingly. "having a guy who knows how to throw a punch?"

"honestly?" your eyes meet his for a quick moment before you stare at his wounded hand again. your voice is lower than before when you start speaking again. "you're... it's a bit... scary..."

clement is shocked. he hasn't realized the effect this has on you – surely, he understands that you could be afraid of a fight, but being scared of him? it breaks his heart. the novelty of your relationship makes him a bit unsure of how to act around you, but he's worked so hard to build up your trust and to make you feel comfortable around him. to have it all be broken down in just one night makes his heart drop.

"oh, love..." he says. "you have nothing to fear. you mean too much to me," his hand moves from your hip to your cheek. "and i would never ever lay a finger on you."

you can't find it in yourself to look at him or say anything, but you manage to nod your head and take a breath before you start cleaning his hand again. he leans forward to press a sweet kiss to your cheek, your skin heating up where his lips had touched you. he smiles at you – until he looks down at your hands again.

"hey, you're shaking." a frown reaches his face, eyes flickering up and down between your hands and your face.

"oh, i am?" you ask, trying to focus on continuing to wipe his knuckles so you don't have to think too much about your feelings and the reality of the situation. "i didn't realize..."

"darling, you need to relax. it's been a long night." his hands wrap around yours, thumbs grazing over the skin of the back of your hands. "you don't need to clean my hands, i'll be fine."

"but-"

"no buts. i'm sorry for..." he stops for a moment, eyes studying you closely. "hey hey hey, you need to breathe properly. take a deep breath."

you hear his words, but you can't do what he tells you to do. your throat feels like it's closing up and your breaths get shorter as your head grows dizzy. it's all a downward spiral; your anxiety increases when you can't breathe, and breathing gets even more challenging as you get more stressed.

clement almost panics himself when he sees your state, but he must stay calm for you at this moment. he places a hand right below your collarbone while you shut your eyes. "big breaths, lift my hand," he says, voice low and tone soothing. his other hand reaches for the back of your neck, tilting your head back slightly to free your airways.

you concentrate on his touch, your short breaths through your nose only making your chest rise slightly. his thumb strokes the side of your neck as he breathes with you, demonstrating and guiding you in the hope you'll copy him.

"good girl," he whispers. his hand lifts and lowers with your breaths, quickly at first but the speed decreases as you calm down bit for bit. "you're doing so good. just a little more now..."

your thoughts are still clouded with anxiety but as more oxygen enters your system, your body relaxes a little. you focus on your breathing as clement's hand leaves your chest and moves down to your side again, moving up and down your ribs. the tears have been rolling down your cheeks for a while, though you haven't noticed until now, and the coldness of the tears brings you back to reality somehow, and you realize;

you're crying in front of clement for the first time ever.

you feel so exposed, naked, vulnerable. sobs begin to escape past your lips once you lean forward to hide your face in the crook of his neck, and he wraps his arms around you. "hey, it's okay," he starts. "everything is going to be okay. i'm here."

he presses a soft peck to your temple as a hand strokes the back of your head. your hair is still bundled up in your fancy hairdo but the halo headband you'd worn for the party is removed, the rest of your cute little white outfit covered up by the oversized hoodie you'd picked up from clement's bedroom floor. his devil's horns, ironic, are a bit crooked but still clipped to his locks.

"sweets, what happened here?" he asks, shuffling around to pull you onto his lap so that it's easier for you to hug him.

your head is still buried in his skin, his mild scent soothing as you sniffle. "i- i-" you groan at the way you aren't able to get any proper words out, the frustration blending with the panic and mixing into one big soup of despair. "i don't know-"

he rubs up and down your back, sighing. "okay, we don't need to talk about this right now. but," clement leans back slightly, taking your face into his hands and tilting your head up towards his. "if my fighting affects you like this, i'll stop it." his eyes are staring straight into your soul, and it feels like he's trying to prove that he really means his words. "you're the most important thing for me right now, i'm not going to lose you over something like this."

clement is shocked by not only his own words, but also his feelings. the two of you haven't been a couple for a long time, and yet, his heart aches at the mere thought of you ever feeling this bad again. he knows he can't let this happen again.

"i promise you that. okay?"

you nod, unable to get any words out, but it's more than enough for clement. he gives your forehead a kiss, and one on your nose, and one on both of your cheeks. then, he makes sure to press a quick one to your mouth so it doesn't feel jealous.

"how about this," he starts and you raise your eyebrows. "i go make us some tea, we drink it, and then we go get some sleep. how does that sound?"

"perfect."

he picks you up and puts you down on the sofa, tucking you in with a blanket before giving you one last peck and disappearing into the kitchen. you can hear his soft humming of a song you'd danced to earlier today, and you relax into the soft cushions.

clement's awareness of his actions, along with his promise to get better, makes a sense of calm wash over you; you allow yourself to believe that maybe, just maybe, everything will turn out alright after all.

[psicadetterra]

Ended up jabbering with my friends about PN stuff. In this post I will talk about Clem and Crystal's deteriorating friendship (and eventual recovery.)

Crystal gives up the project, and for a while, so does Clem. Clem falls back into old habits fairly quickly though. This puts a strain on their friendship. Crystal doesn't want to be like that anymore, and Clem doesn't seem intent to change (he's too deeply entangled in his negativity.) Their friendship reaches its lowest point when they are 14-15. Crystal tries her best to salvage it, but she just can't anymore. They seldom speak or see each other.

Crystal has other friends (Phoebe, Quentin, Misha, and others.) Clem has no one, so he winds up affiliating with other people just as miserable as he is (misery loves company.)

But throughout all of this, despite it all, neither of them truly "hate" each other.

Going off-track a little, I feel like Crystal has known Clem since she first started going to Whispering Rock (let's assume she's seven when she first attends.) I also feel like their friendship was INSTANT, like Crystal mentioned something and Clem was like "no way me too" and bam (lord I'm not implying crystal was like "lol i wanna die" and clem was like "lol same lets be friends" I'm hoping it was something more innocent BUT PROBABLY NOT LOL. It's fucked up to imagine a 7 y/o girl wanting to die IT'S FUCKED UP IMAGINING A 9 Y/O GIRL WANTING TO DIE TOO NOOO MY BABY. I am getting further off track let me reel it back in.)

I am also certain that enduring de-braining and re-braining with your best friend pretty much bonds you for life lol. When you've known someone for so long and went through so much with them, I don't think you could ever truly "hate" them (at least from my experience. this is partly based on my rl friendship and DON'T WORRY we didn't have a suicide pact when we were kids!! we didn't have our brains stolen either.)

I feel like the deep sadness and loneliness Clem feels from losing his best, closest, and ONLY friend is that one thing that finally wakes him up. He misses her. Even if he can't earn back her friendship, he has to TRY and do better. If not for her, then at least for himself.

Thus begins Clem's recovery. When you are at the bottom, the only place you can go is up (although Clem would beg to differ. He says he hit the bottom and kept digging lol.)

Fast forward to about 4-5 years in the future when they are 19-20 years old. They're both in the Psychonauts and they finally speak to each other after so long. I feel like when you're 19-20 the drama from when you're 15 doesn't matter anymore. Clem apologizes to her, and she apologizes to him (she isn't an innocent party, they were both enabling each other.) He doesn't even really expect her to want to be friends again or even accept his apology, but to his surprise, she does. Crystal was afraid that Clem hated her, but this was never true. Even when they were mad and said things they regret, they never genuinely hated each other. They then spend many hours talking and catching up. They've matured and recovered. They are better to each other.

Later, they give dating a shot. It lasts for less than a week. They found it awkward and prefer to just go back to being best friends. Friendship works best for them.

There is continuity in my drawings (have you noticed it?) Crystal still has the Cheer Bear that Clem and Misha gave her for her birthday. Clem assumes that she got rid of it. He is shocked to see she still has it when they become friends again. Even when her friendship with Clem deteriorates and Misha goes missing (that's a story for another time) she never gets rid of it.

To summarize: Clem and Crystal's friendship deteriorates when they still go to Whispering Rock. Once they "graduate" that is the breaking point and they rarely speak to or see each other. They finally reconcile when they are young adults.

[geniemillies]

Yearning For Spring | Ch. 6 | Tamlin x Oc

◇— Chapter 6 - A Glimpse of Living

A/n: Very very long chappy.. I enjoyed writing Autumn and Summer, favourite courts right next to Spring 😔🫶

✧ masterlist

<<Ch.1 <<Ch.5 ||◇|| Ch.7>>

     — —

I often feed a suggestion to the King, to send me back to Prythian to see to Amarantha's reign. And when he'd ask me why I'm so insistent on going I'd answer with; “I rather like tormenting her.” Which is no lie and definitely no secret. The entirety of Father's court knows well mine and Amarantha's animosity towards each other. And it isn't just me. I cannot think of a single person in court who likes her. She is feared by many and loved by none save for the creatures that manage to find it in themselves to find her appealing.

Four decades have passed since the dawn of her reign and when I thought all hope was lost, Father called me into the throne room and suddenly approved of my next visit to Prythian. The Suriel fettered beneath the palace was yet again the source of his ire, but it seems to have provided some sort of answer to which my father was being deliberately vague when giving his commands. He needs me to seek out the missing pieces of the Cauldron after I see Amarantha. And I couldn't have been more excited when he gave me the task. In secret, of course. I did not get to see past Under the Mountain last time.. I'm hoping this time will be different.

Besides that visit, I haven't left Hybern since that time in Spring. More often than not, these golden cuffs around my wrists constantly itched, tempting me to scratch the skin raw.. I cannot even touch the beach waters without the cuffs tugging me back. It is a cage, this homeland of mine. And while I want to visit Prythian because I want to berate Amarantha and know about how Tamlin is doing I just want to see the sky and breathe the fresh air.

“May I come with?” Velaria asks as she follows me through the halls of the Lighthouse.

“The ring only allows leave for one body. I'm afraid I cannot take you with me.. Father will know if those bound to him leave and enter without the gem.”

Velaria frowns and before she speaks, some of the children playing caught sight of me and rushed towards my direction. “Mother!” They all called out as they came to me. Recent children who quickly became infected with calling me their mother. Not that I mind.

They told me of their day and wished for me to play with them. But I had places to be so I promised to spend time with them when I returned. I went to a drawing room where children, mostly the children I've rescued from Prythian, were huddled in one place. Each child hails from a different Court, with Marilla and Celyn originating from Winter, and Aurelia, Clem, and Rory from Autumn. Soleil and Tesni are from Summer, while Ahaan and Kiran belongs to the Dawn Court. And then there's the only child from Day, the youngest of Prythian children, Uri. 

Save for Uri, they all still call me Niamh or Miss Niamh. Understandable as they are not my children like Hybernian children were. They have their own mothers and fathers waiting for them.

The Lighthouse has come to life since I brought the Prythian children here. Each room within the building has been adorned with their vibrant gifts and decorations, inspired by the diverse cultures and customs of their respective Courts. 

Because of them, our home now hosts various joyful celebrations like Summer and Winter Solstice where we decorate the house, dance and exchange gifts. Those are my personal favorites.. But we also celebrate All Souls Day, a custom from Autumn where people make offerings to shrines of the deceased in the forest. But we do not have a forest of shrines so we just.. create our own and set them out at the courtyard, in remembrance of loved ones who perished during Amarantha's rule. Because the majority, if not all the children, have endured losses during her reign. 

We also have Fete in the Clouds, a cheerful celebration from the Dawn Court where peregryns, hold festivities high in the air. While I possess wings like peregryns, none of the other children have the blessing of flight except for Kiran, a peregryn, and Tesni, a mothkin. So to make sure he celebrates and shares his custom with the house, I cast imaginative spells to create the illusion of us lounging on the clouds above the courtyard. A.. cute attempt to recreate the actual thing but we have fun. 

Another one is the Seeker's Gauntlet, a triennial tournament held in the Day Court where scholars from various esteemed institutions compete in a grand stadium, I've been told. During this time, we make up our own challenges and divide the house in teams until the smartest ones face each other in the final rounds. I, unfortunately.. have been kicked out of the games because the children do not trust me with my daemati powers. No matter, I'm content as the sole judge and arbiter. Velaria gets particularly competitive during the games. Seeing her losing to a bunch of children way younger than her is.. funny.

I happily welcome all festivities. It isn't the same as celebrating the actual thing, but it is the most I can do for them. I want the Prythian children to cling on to cherished memories of their homes even when distance separates them. They deserve to feel a sense of belonging and connection to their roots, to celebrate their heritage and keep their cultures alive, no matter where they may be. And.. it's a good thing for the children of Hybern too. And maybe for me.. After all, Hybernians deserve to experience such celebrations, given the lack of them within our own lands.

I should probably refrain from calling them children now as they’re all grown. It has been nearly fifty years since I’ve brought them here. Marilla is a great sister to everyone in the house, she even teaches the younger children with their writing and reading. Cousin to her is Celyn, the quieter one of the two. But in time, she grew to love the place and the other kids. She also makes the best puddings that not even I could replicate her cooking.. Aurelia is the more spirited one of the bunch, always cheering people up, always inspiring mischief, as expected from a faun. Soleil, a selkie, likes to join her in her little pranks. We have a pond now because of her as she needs to be in water every once in a while. Tesni is our sweet little mothkin, which makes her a target to group cuddles because of her furry scales. She has woven me many silk dresses ever since I’ve asked her for one. Kiran is the most well-mannered, often being the voice of reason along with Marilla. Then there is Ahaan who is a child of the arts, I lost count of the many paintings and ceramics he’s made for me. My room and study are so full of them that I'm beginning to run out of space. Always with him is Clem, a sweet child with a penchant for learning, forever curious about the Sidhe where I’ve not yet taken any of them.

Uri, the youngest, is the quietest one, always making gadgets with whatever she finds. Many of my kitchen supplies have been altered to work better because of her. Uri is the only one of them who has developed a habit of calling me mother. I’ve been told that her parents were long gone even before Amarantha took over. During the first months of their stay in Hybern, she had managed to run past the wards and nearly got herself killed if I hadn’t caught up to her. She’s a sensitive child, a bit jumpy and a victim to night terrors, more so than the others.. She may be quiet but she always seeks comfort with the other Prythian children, clinging to Aurelia’s arm or hiding behind Ahaan’s wings. Despite being the youngest, Uri’s intelligence is unwavering, earning her an undefeated record in our version of the Seeker's Gauntlet. It comes as no surprise from a child of Day.

Then there is Rory, a year younger than Marilla but the eldest of the Autumn-born, hails from nobility. Of all the children, he was the most hesitant to call the Lighthouse home. Of course, he warmed up to the place and the other children eventually but he still keeps to himself most of the time. Always reading in his lonesome and observing the fun rather than participating. But I could tell that.. it is just his nature. I imagine he was raised to look down on the lesser fae which.. must’ve been a strange thing to accept for him, considering most of the children in the Lighthouse are.. lesser fae. I mislike that term. Lesser. All my children are the same, no matter their upbringing or the lands they hail from.

While he may not overtly acknowledge it, I know Rory has developed a softer sentiment towards the others. He does not like admitting a lot of things, but he is not good at hiding them either. Not from me. But of course, there is the occasional fight here and there between him and the older children of the house. Squabble between boys that are ended by me all too quickly.

Nowadays, Clem, Rory, Kiran and Soleil are often outside, past the Lighthouse grounds but still within the wards, being trained to fight by Arin after they begged me to. Arin is one of the elder children of the Lighthouse that don't live here anymore. But he still frequently visits before returning back underground, to the Sidhe, where he's one of my three Lieutenants tending to the rebellion.

Many of my older children join him at the Sidhe. My brave children who.. wish to fight for me for a better tomorrow. Now some children of Prythian wish to join them. Velaria may or may not have let some of my Father's plans slip from her loose mouth, and the elder children have grown close to them that they tell the horrors of my Father's experiments on me. Because they do know. Children are not stupid. The Lighthouse is the one place where I could momentarily let go of my gloves. They see my blackened arms and they often.. wonder. So now some of them wish to fight and while their training is not serious… I can see their determination, fueled by a desire for vengeance against Amarantha. But there is a greater threat than her. And I'm not about to risk these children in an upcoming war when they have parents still waiting for them back in Prythian. 

They flock around me now, asking: “Can you see if my parents are still alive? Can you see if my siblings still live under the dungeons? Can you see if my High Lord still lives? Can you see if my Court has not been set to cinders? Can you kill Amarantha this time?” All questions overlap each other.

“Settle down. All of you..” I shook my head and willed them to call down. All of them ask for me to check on the wellbeing of their families while others ask for items to be brought back to them, items from their courts they hold dear. When one proposed the idea, everyone agreed and brought forth a scroll to write the things they wish for. Impatiently, they sit there on the floor, fighting for which one got to put on their requests first.

I look at Velaria. “And you? Anything you wish for?”

She put a hand on her hip. “I'd rather come with you.”

“I told you..”

“But I'm not bound to the King. I do not wear golden cuffs, I can leave without him knowing. Please.. Take me with you. I want to see Rhys.. If only for a moment.”

I look away to the children before looking back at her. “Alright. But I need to hide you. Into what.. is the question. Just until I'm done with my visit in the Middle.”

“You could glamour me. Alter my appearance as you've had before when you brought me to the palace.”

“I can't. Amarantha will suspect my relation to you and why I've brought you. I don’t just bring anyone, she knows it. I cannot risk it. And chances are, if you do see your brother while glamoured, he would suspect you're familiar to him..”

Velaria looked down. “The silver ravens..” 

“The what..?” 

“You could turn your feathers into full creatures, could you not?” 

“Yes?”

“Could you turn me into an animal?”

“I am flattered you think I could shapeshift much less shift someone else into an animal.”

“But you could turn your feathers into crows?”

“Yes but my feathers are inanimate. That magic has always been a part of me. Seraphim magic. And the creatures I create are an extension of myself. And do not even suggest using dark magic on you.” I sighed. “I only know curses and hexes that serve to discipline those who would disobey in court.” I trailed off and looked at her, a pout growing on her lips.

“Unless..” I sighed. “Do you really want to go?”

Velaria nods. “Really.”

“There is a curse I learned many years ago in my youth. Magic that will curse someone and turn them into an animal for life. But.. after years of studying, I've learned to undo many curses. And since the hex is a simple enough trick, I could very well undo it.”

She claps happily, tapping her chest excitedly. “Great. Do it. Curse me. But undo it after!” Velaria says a little too enthusiastically. Many would run when a witch suggest to bewitch them. Velaria seems to jump at every opportunity for me to show her weird spells, though. She is a strange one. 

“Alright.” I breathed. “What animal?”

“What?”

“What animal would you want to turn into?”

     — —

The Attor welcomes me again to the dreadful Under The Mountain and with its presence, the creature around my neck hissed. Amarantha greets me in her empty throne room and we exchange backhanded jabs at one another. The usual. It is clear that my visit is unwelcome, the place is once more void of any soul save for the Attor who keeps breathing down my neck. Amarantha thought to give me a tour around her little hive and wherever we went, dread and anguish followed.

This time she shows me the entirety of her horrid abode with all its rugged twists and turns. She showed me the dungeons where she kept prisoners and heathens who dared disobey her or make her unhappy. She showed me an even deeper dungeon where she kept fae, young and old, all kept in shackles as they cooked and served and.. slaved away, never to see the sun or breathe the air on the surface. 

She took me to a grim display, where the bodies of fae she claimed as rebels hung on the wall, their bodies bearing the evidence of dried blood and decay, with clouds of buzzing flies swarming around their putrid remains, feasting on the stench of death. Despite the gruesome sight, it barely made me flinch. I had grown accustomed to the same macabre spectacle back at Father's palace.

“Again with the choice of furniture, Amarantha..” I cover my nose and hear a chuckle from her beside me.

“Do you not like it? I thought you'd feel right at home..”

I hate it. I hate how she's turning into a smaller version of my Father. Even here I cannot escape him. They cannot enslave mortals and so they turn to enslaving their kin. 

Before we left from the dungeons she takes pride in, I paused, taking a final glance at the faces of the dead. I studied each pair of their horrifically opened eyes, every feature, searching diligently for any resemblance to the children I once brought here to the Lighthouse.

“What did this one do?” I approach a fae, her wide eyes stared vacantly, locked in an image of fear that remained even in death. Her once vibrant, auburn curls were crudely hacked off and burned, her arms stretched unnaturally towards another faun like herself. A male one.

Just like..

“Hm? Ah. Foolish little doe. Tried to stab me in the back during my entertainments. I wiped out her entire family, you see.” A cruel chuckle escapes her. “I hadn’t even noticed. Only she and her husband remained. And now they'll be together forever. A beautiful death I've bestowed upon them, wouldn't you agree..?"

“How frequent are these attempts?” I try turn my head away, but underneath the mask, my eyes were still glued to the pair, memorising their features, ingraining it into memory. The skin around my cuffs began to itch, aching to tear Amarantha to pieces.

I look at those bodies and see my children. I see Aurelia. I see her eyes in that female's face, pretty and blue and filled with joy.

They are her parents. There is no doubt.

“These bodies have been rotting for over a year now. I should really have them cleaned off the wall.. But I relish in the faces that pass by. Makes people remember their place. But I shouldn’t bore you with my executions. I'm sure you've had your fair share of that back at home already.”

“Father's rule is ever so peaceful. The people are behaved. Unlike yours. Hardly surprised that you have to result to such extremes just for a shrivel of respect.” I passed her, walking away from the dungeon I no longer wanted to see.

I felt the snake around my neck slither slowly, its hiss soft and and quiet beneath my chin. ‘I want to mount her on that wall.’ I hear her little mind say. ‘Niamh, those were..”

‘I know.’

‘Will you tell Aurelia?’

It’ll break her heart. Aside from Uri, every one of those Prythian children still hope that they could be reunited with their families, whomever remains still. They still hold on to that hope that someone, anyone, or just one in their family might still be alive. 

Knowing the horrors her parents were subjected to in her absence will break her. It’d break anyone but..

‘I'll have to.’

     — —

I was careful to put on gloves today. One touch on a servant or prisoner or even the walls then I might live their pain. After our tour, Amarantha kept me in her little receiving room, with the Attor beside me, watching my every move. We talked about Hybern and the troops she left behind, how I graciously became their beacon of leadership in her absence and how they like me better. All the things that I thought might prick a nerve. And I was right.

“How goes the ruling bit of your vacation?” I ask, my eyes to the balcony that revealed the sky void of clouds.

“If his Majesty is getting impatient he can suck it up and wait. I'm not done here yet.” She hissed, the eye in her ring twitching. 

“What of the lordling you're trying to court, hm? Any luck there?” Her eyes narrowed and before she could open her mouth I let out a slight laugh. 

“Thought so~”

“It is in progress. He is being.. difficult.” She inhales then smiles her usual wicked one. “But, it shouldn't take too long.. Forty-nine years is almost up. Sooner than late.. he will come to me.”

I raise a brow, “What does that mean?”

Amarantha plays with her silver goblet, admiring how the red swirls in the cup before taking a sip. “I took your advice to heart, Niamh, believe it or no. I sought the Spring Court and invited them to a ball to offer my sincerest apologies after I gauged some boy's eye out. A masquerade ball.” Her gaze flickered to my mask, a wicked fondness spread across her face. “And yet. with all my efforts to see peace between us he.. refused. And.. insulted me.”

A laugh escapes me, earning me a glare from the pretender. But she said nothing as a retort or made an attempt to reprimand me. She only seethed silently and rolled her eyes at me.

“And so I cursed him and the entirety of his foolish flock of hens. If he does not break the curse in seven times seven years.. He will bend the knee to me and become my consort. If he does not bend, I will break him, command his bones to sit on the chair beside me.”

I fight the urge to scoff as I leaned back in my seat. I fear that if I don’t soothe myself I might lunge at her. “And? You still think he'll submit to you then? When for five centuries he refused to do so?”

“He's at his wits end. His powers are dwindling, he cannot defy me any longer.”

The mask hides my growing glare. Any more and I might’ve broken the damn thing with my burning stare alone. This bitch. As soon as I left in my last visit, she cursed him.

She cursed Tamlin.

“And when did this curse begin?”

“A year remains. And I shall await my consort.. with due patience~”

I inhaled the air, slowly, taking in her words yet I still can’t believe what I’m hearing. I feel my hand grip the arms of my seat. I need to calm down. 

“And once it's over, then what? When he submits to you, will you finally fulfil your mission?”

“I will rule with my consort as I see fit.” She said simply, shrugging carelessly, as if it were the obvious answer.

I look away, a faint huff of laughter escapes me, harsh and bitter. If I let my gaze linger on her for a moment longer, with her red lipped grin and her horrid black eyes, I would have recreated our duel a century ago. Gods, do I crave to be coated with her blood once more…

“You're pathetic..”

“Excuse me?”

“Resulting in cursing an entire land to get what you want.”

“I will stop at nothing to achieve my goals. You have doubted my capabilities for long enough.”

“My doubts are never wrong.” I stand, marching towards her, each step of my heels like thunder, the room trembling as if responding to my every stride. I clawed at the back of her chair, meeting her dull eyes through the slits of my mask as she visibly froze.

“You are an ill-made, spiteful little devil.” With fingers clenching the back of her chair, I meet onyx through the slits of my mask. There is hatred boiling in those black eyes, hatred uniquely reserved for me. Yet, she doesn't dare move. Time has done little to quench the bitter memory of that duel, the one that left her humbled, broken, and humiliated. With fear now overshadowing any remaining hatred, she knows better than to challenge the one who had once drove a blade into her wretched heart. 

“You came from nothing and had to climb your way up to power. And even then you're weak and useless. You flaunt power that does not even belong to you. You think the King is impressed? He does not even spare you a thought. You are irrelevant. In Hybern. In Prythian. In any land you dare step on—you are nothing.”

I felt her fists clench around the arms of her chair that she almost broke it. “How dare you speak to me in such a manner? You think I care what your father thinks? Long have I stopped caring about what he thinks. I made myself Queen in a matter of years and yet you still belittle my achievements. While you, the insipid little princess that you are, still cower and follow every command he throws at you. Are you so jealous that I made something of myself while you still grovel for your father's attention?”

I huffed a quick laugh. “It is not I who grovels for a male’s attention.” I bite back. “I do not curse entire lands in hopes that he might look at me. I do not brutalise peasants in hopes that he might swoon over my cruelty. I do not force people to like me. And yet.. I won over Father. I won over his Court. You made yourself Queen and yet you're still unlikable.”

“You forget yourself. You are no more tool, a plaything to the King than I. You think he will commend you for tormenting me? You think you'll win his affections and tell you he's proud of you, his little girl? He will cast you aside as he did I.”

I let go of the chair, allowing her air to breathe as I stepped back. “He has already commended me. I am High Commander of all his forces. He's crowned me heir apparent in your absence. Father loves me. His court respects me.”

She lets out a mocking laugh, bitter and fake. “You fool yourself, Niamh. Pray tell, what do you hide under those gloved hands?”

“Power. Power he didn't think, not once, to give to you. Tool I may be. But I'm his favourite weapon to wield. I have worked hard and I have earned the love and respect of my court. Queen you are, but only in name. This is not your land. These are not your people. The power you wield isn't yours. You're a pretender through and through. Perhaps if you yield now Father and his court may be merciful. Save them from this embarrassment of a conquest—”

A loud thud echoed through the room as Amarantha unleashed her fury, her clenched fists slamming into the arm of her chair, splintering the bone.

“I. Do not. Want. His mercy. I do not want to be in his Court. I never want to be his tool ever again!! You of all people should know the horrors he inflicts upon people. He's truly broken you, hasn't he?” 

“Perhaps. And maybe I am stronger for it. I've never been more myself.” The lie felt like sand on my tongue as I uttered it.

She walks towards me now, daring to close the space between us. “What do you want? Why have you come here, Niamh, truly?”

A smirk fades into my face while I tilt my head. “Do I need a reason? Maybe I merely enjoy tormenting you. Everyone needs a tormenter. These people have you. I have the King.. And you have me~”

“You are awfully interested in Prythian affairs. What have you done to those children I gave you several decades back?”

I pause. “I brought them to a feast.”

“Did you?”

“Hm. Young ones are.. so full of fresh blood.” She narrows her eyes as if trying to figure me out. “Why? Any more gifts for me..~?” I asked which earned me a scoff.

Amarantha scoffed and crossed her arms. “You've overstayed your welcome. No more gifts.”

I clicked my teeth. “Pity.” I step towards the balcony.

“Any rebellion brewing beneath the caves these past decades?”

“If there were, I've put them down.” She leans back in her seat, curbing her fury that I could still very much feel even from a distance. “A few Courts tried years back. They failed. And so I took their young from them and wrought havoc to their Courts.”

I flinched. “How many?”

“Two dozen from the Winter Court. Pity, you were not here to.. take them with you.”

“A shame.” I look back to the grey skies of the a Middle. There's an ominous fog that enveloped this place. Though, I hoped that what lay beyond the mist would be the Prythian Velaria and the children always talked about.

“How do you keep the citizens in check outside the Mountain? Those who did not join their courts?” I ask, genuinely curious.

“I cursed the land so they may not leave their borders. snuffing out any seeds of rebellion before they even take root. Clever little things they are though, managed to lure in mortals to serve as messengers. A pitiful attempt. One that I've crushed and continue to look over.”

I know. I saw them mounted to the walls with the butchered fae during our tour. A twisted form of trophy. I am no stranger to such displays, much of Father's palace decorations are from mortal remains. Another reason why I cannot stand to visit the dreadful place. It reeks. Even more than Under The Mountain.

I feel the snake– Velaria, slither around my neck. ‘He's not here.’ I speak to her little reptile mind. ‘I haven't seen him all day, not even during the tour. I do not know where he is.’ She hisses and hugs my neck tighter as if to say, ‘Find him.’ 

I sigh and turn to Amarantha. “And where are the High Lords now? Still hiding them from me? Too afraid I might belittle you in their presence?”

“I think they rather not see you. Not after your little display on your last visit, taking their children like that.” 

Right..

“And where is your.. errand boy?” I look to the door, as if a small part of me hoped that the male would interrupt us as he did during our last visit.

“Rhysand is off making errands, as you say.”

Velaria hisses quietly below my chin. “What dirty work does he do for you?”

“All good work for his Queen~ Out of all the wretched little things under us, all are worthless to me. But Rhysand.. he is a doll.”

I fight the urge to cringe. “Another bedwarmer?”

“He offered himself willingly.”

“And his Court?”

“Some of them live here away from their little Hewn City. A wonderful place really. I had Under The Mountain moulded in its image. You know? To make my Rhysand.. feel more at home?” She grinned and Velaria's snake body darted out as she hissed at her, which only earned her a scowl from the pretender Queen.

“Control your animal, Niamh.” Amarantha snapped at me, scowling at the creature wrapped around my neck.

I could only smile, putting a hand in front of the snake's head. “The little one does not like you~”

She snarled at the creature, “I mislike snakes.” She muttered.

“Really? What a surprise. Considering yourself..”

“If you do not have anything else to discuss with me you are free to leave and return to Hybern.”

“I shan't. I'm on.. vacation~”

“Vacation?”

“I'm to travel around the island. Fulfill errands of my own.” I said, which wasn't a lie. Father told me to scan the island and draw out any magic that will lead him to the missing parts of the Cauldron. And while I do that I shall also enjoy my time and treat it as a vacation.

“I hope you haven't ravaged the lands so much that I cannot enjoy its beauty?”

“Unfortunately I have not. I'm getting to it. I assure you Prythian is most beautiful when its lands are ravaged..”

I roll my eyes, fighting the groan in my throat. “Then I bid you goodbye. Till the next I torment you again, My Queen~”

     — —

I carry the snake around my neck only to find her sulking in my hands. “I revoke my curse.” I command in whispers and a dark aura envelops the snake before returning her back to her original form, with her slender figure and big Illyrian bat wings folded behind her. She stumbled a bit so I had to grab her wrist to ground her.

“He.. He wasn't there.”

“He wasn't.” I frown when I see her dejected face. “I'm sorry.”

She breathes the wretched air of the Middle then her features softened. “At least he is alive. Thank the Mother.. he is alive.”

“Gods, Niamh. It's even worse than I thought. That place.. is as dreadful as Hewn City. Even more.” She shook her head. “We need to help them.”

“I fear their is not much I can do. I can torment Amarantha all I like. But I cannot interfere with her reign. That is.. the one rule Father gave me.” I look down. “The experiment continues.”

“She’s turned the Middle into.. into..”

I inhaled, “A cheap copy of Hybern, I know..”

“What do we do now..? Will you actually search for those missing pieces?”

“I have no choice. I’ll have to. Returning the information I’ve found, however.. is another matter entirely.” I managed to smile. But not even that lasted.

“First.. I need to know more about the curse she put onto the High Lord of Spring.”

She tipped her chin upward, her eyes hinting silent surprise that quickly faded before she nodded.

"We’ll get to it. But first things first.." She trails of as she took my hands. "Let me show you around Prythian as I promised” She suggested instead and I felt my heart skip a bit, a my lips curling into a smile.

"Alright.."

Velaria links her arm with mine and we begin walking away from the dreadful Mountain. “Where do I even start? Autumn and Summer are close. Winter is right below but it's awfully cold there. I would rather not freeze to death on the start of our.. tour. And I’d do anything to be far, far away from this ghastly place.”

She stood behind me and covered my eyes before I heard the snap her fingers, winnowing us away from the Middle within seconds.

And immediately I felt the air shift.

Slowly she let go of my head, gently uncovering my eyes. Gradually, the world around me emerged—warm colors danced everywhere, the cold breeze swayed leaves in odd shapes and carried the crisp fragrance of soil mingled with the soothing scent of rain-kissed earth.

I can feel Velaria stifle a chuckle as my face betrays the look of wonder, my eyes showing yearning for the smallest of things. Even my heart began to race that I felt a twinge of embarassment for it. It is pathetic, I'm sure. And I ought to contain my childish excitement. 

Velaria lets out a heavy sigh after she inhales the fresh, autumn air. And I did the same. I breathed in the air that was so strange, unfamiliar, nice. And I kept sniffing the air like every breath was a need and I have suffocated for years and years on end. Because I have. 

“Ah.. That's the smell. Gods. It smells soo nice here. No offence but Hybern air could not compare.”

“I know. None taken.” The words came out of me without thought, my eyes focused only on the view below, a sea of warm coloured trees stretched before me. An ocean of red and orange and yellow leaves gently swayed by the wind. It was as if the Mother herself had used the Earth as her canvas, lavishly splashing brilliant, warm colors across the landscape. I have never seen anything so colourful. 

“The forest.. It's.. big.”

“Is it not?” She gushed as she smiled happily. “Autumn and Spring are very well covered with trees and forests. The High Lord of Autumn has his abode set at the heart of the Court, built not with stone but through trees called the Forest House!"

“But that is horrible. How would the place hold when enemy attacks with fire?” I asked. A genuine question. 

But Velaria laughs softly, thinking my question to be silly. “Magic, maybe? Fire is Autumn’s especially. But I can't believe that's your first question. Come, we'll explore together.” She holds my hand.

I smiled and I let her lead me wherever she pleased whether or not she knew where to go. And all the while we explored the lush forests, I kept admiring the canopy of leaves up above, and how the sun peeked through the cracks, mildly blinding me. And more often than not, Velaria had to remind me to watch my step, to look forward and not upward when I could trip on twigs and branches hidden under the pool of maple leaves that swallowed my ankles. 

Maple leaves. It is what they're called. 

“Aurelia asked me to bring her some big maple leaves. So she may preserve it and put it on her bedside table.”

“Ah, right. The list. We can grab a few. The biggest maple leaf for her to preserve.”

I summon the list before me, looking for the things the children back at the Lighthouse requested. “Clem wants knitted scarves. Rory did not list anything but.. I'm going to get him scarves too.” 

Velaria chuckled. “Then we better start looking for their things.”

     — —

Autumn is warm and vibrant, even as an endless canopy of leaves blankets the sky, veiling the sun. Yet, the people of this Court are visibly on edge. Expected, given the blight infecting the lands and their High Lord nowhere in sight. I learned that there are several princes, all of them stuck Under the Mountain save for one. The one in Spring just next door.

I feel my heart clench inside my chest. Not yet. I cannot go there yet.

Velaria had whisked me away to a territory south east of the mountains that border Winter and Autumn, leading me to a quaint village tucked deep within a forest, weakly warded with magic I easily walked into. Some sections of the place bore the faint signs of destruction, with children claiming that they had been attacked by forces loyal to Amarantha. It seemed that the damage was old enough that the villagers had made significant progress in rebuilding. But the trauma of such an attack, no matter how minor, no doubt still lingers on the people’s faces.

I had myself glamoured like the commonfolk as did Velaria, my mask long discarded since leaving Amarantha's abode and my silver strands turned to a dark amber color. We strolled through the town in silence, trying not to draw attention to ourselves before Velaria pointed to a market square at the center of the town. She turned into a walking encyclopedia for the many things that were foreign to me. Jams. Scented candles. Roasted nuts. The infamous pumpkin I keep hearing about.

Amazing. It’s like a whole new world of things in this humble little square.

And, and, while Velaria was off exploring more stalls, I have been introduced to the art of crochet. Knitted scarves line several vendor's lineup of products, many of them a variety of colourful scarves, the threads often representing repeated patterns and images of acorns and pumpkins. I’ve commissioned an artisan for several scarves, one for every Autumn-born child, and watched as she made them for me. Apparently, I’ve made her uncomfortable with my ogling her work and so I stopped staring and just sat there looking at something else.

When Velaria returned she came back to me now sitting beside the young crochet artisan with a thread of yarn and hook of my own, my eyes set on the artisan's skilled, furry little hands, imitating her every move.

In the end, I got my knitted scarves and managed to make.. a hat. Though.., too small for my head. I have neglected the measurements it seems. The artisan also gifted me the crochet hook along with a bundle of yarn for my extra payment. I thanked her kindly and erased everyone’s mind of me and Velaria's visit before setting off.

“Wow~ Quick learner, aren't you?” She bumped into my arm as she looked at my creation.

I couldn’t help but smile proudly. “Thank you. Do you like it?” I watched as she put on the small hat on her head. It did not fit her either. 

“It's pretty. In no time, you'll be a master knitter.”

“It is called crochet.”

“Crochet–er..”

“I want to taste pumpkin.” I suddenly blurted out. 

And Velaria wasted no time in leading me to a nearby inn, eager to treat my stomach to the delicacies of the Autumn Court. Velaria ordered me a bowl of pumpkin soup. She did not warn me of the spice part. And so when I ate my fill I did so with my face as red as the owner's beard. I didn't want to be rude so I finished it, every spoonful tasted sweet and warm and.. different. Despite the tears that began to form in the corner of my eyes, I was happy because I finally knew what pumpkin tasted like. Velaria on the other hand, had her head rolled back as she laughed at me and my reddened face.

I am used to her doing that. More often than not, my reaction to the smallest of things amuses the hell out of her. 

“Good?” The owner asked, his voice just as amused. 

I nod, unable to say anything as I gulp down the final drop of burning soup. “M-mhm.. A-amaziiing..” With my compliment, the owner smiled happily and nudged my shoulders.

We winnowed to the borders of Autumn soon after for the Summer Court. We walked in silence, the only sounds being the crunching of leaves beneath footsteps and Velaria's stifled giggles. 

My tongue still burns..

“Velaria. Enough.” I sigh. “It is not that funny.”

“It's a little funny..”

“I find you often laugh at my misery.” I pout. 

“Oh, I cannot help it, you are cute when you're utterly clueless.”

“I wouldn't have been clueless if you warned me of the soup's spice. I don't know if I tasted more spice than I did pumpkin. What if you ruined pumpkin for me forever?” I sigh.

“You overexaggerate.” I hear her snort. “High Commander of Hybern forces.. cannot handle spice..” She bursts into giggles again and I roll my eyes. Yet there is a smile on my face. 

“Any other spicy foods I should be wary of in Summer because I..” I was about to continue speaking when the sun's warm rays suddenly hit me, no longer shielded by the leafy canopy above. 

The heat was.. intense, the brightness nearly blinding. I shut my eyes instinctively, and when I opened them again, I was stunned by the sight that greeted me: a vast expanse of open skies painted with fluffy white clouds.

Never could I imagine Hybern with such scenery. In Hybern, the land is bleak, the skies perpetually covered in a haze of murky clouds and fog, barely allowing the faintest touch of sunlight.

“I never knew.. that clouds could arrange themselves to create a canvas of such beauty, or that the sun could shine with such fervor,.. that it's warm when it touches me.” My voice cracks as I whisper, my eyes narrowed and blinded by the sun and yet I could not tear my eyes off of it.

Velaria was silent behind me, still shielded by the shade of Autumn trees. But I sensed her turmoil within. Maybe she pitied me. For being imprisoned in the shadows for so long that even the most mundane of natural wonders felt foreign to me.. I would pity myself as well.

She gently touched my hand, her touch firm yet soft as she gently tugs at my fingers, silently beckoning me to follow her. “Come. I'll take you to Adriata..” 

I did not budge.

“Niamh?”

“Wait.” And I stare for a while more. Then more. Until I found myself under the shade casted by Velaria's large wing above my head.

“Can we.. go.. now?” She asks, and I gently swat her wing away.

“Wait.”

And so we wait for a few more minutes. Maybe an hour. Or two. Velaria is sitting in the ground now, her huge wings shielding her from the sun since I refused her.

“Can we go now?” I hear her muffled voice from inside her wing shelter.

“Wait..” My eyes are burning. I might be blind. A little woozy, even. But Mother above, does it look beautiful.

“Niamh, you will literally get a sunburn.” She stood up at last and covered my head with her wing once more.

“We're leaving now.” She grabbed my hand and winnowed us someplace else, under the shade of a peculiar looking tree.

“Gods above, you're red. It’s like the Cauldron have boiled you!” She was torn between horrified and close to bursting into a fit of laughter again. “You look like you've been cooked by the sun!”

I smiled wide and touched my face. Oh. It stings. “Really? Am I tan like you?”

“More like.. red.” She snorted and hesitated to touch my apparently burnt face. I was still smiling. And she was on the verge of cackling again.

“Does it look bad?”

“Heal yourself before we waltz inside Adriata looking like I have a fried chicken walking beside me.” She cackles. “If you show your wings you'd actually look like fried fowl. Raw, barely cooked.. fowl.”

“You are a very mean Illyrian..” I mocked a pout and did as she told and healed myself with a pat of the palms to my cheek.

Velaria took me to the main city of Summer called Adriata, near the beach, overlooking the harbor. Unlike the dense forests of Autumn, Summer's territory was largely composed of flat lands veiled in sparkling sand. And unlike Autumn, the people here seemed much more downtrodden. The golden castle once perched regally atop the water now lay in ruin, its once-brilliant walls scorched by flames. The docks that lined the harbor were torn asunder, with sections now sunk into the depths of the sea. The air was tinged with the scent of the sea and decaying fish as many fishers frantically came and went carrying baskets of fish they claimed to be dead. 

So it seems she poisoned their oceans too.

These poor people. What could they have possibly done to deserve this? And what could I do to help them? Before I could think, I was pulled away from the busy harbor and winnowed to empty shores.

“I will show you around first. You thinking of ways to help these people can come later.” She crossed her arms.

“It is.. beginning to become difficult to enjoy this.. ‘vacation’, given the circumstances.”

“I know. And I want to help them, too but.. I’ve been waiting for this all day.”

“Waiting for what?”

She let go of my shoulders and pointed at the ocean. “Showing you the beach, silly Niamh.”

“Oh..” A smile creeped onto my face. I can’t deny that I was feeling excited at the thought of dipping my feet into the water. “Of course.”

Before the water could touch me, I summoned the scroll of requests and read Soleil and Tesni’s writing. “What's a conch?” I looked at Velaria as she ran to the shore, then stopped immediately as I asked a question. 

“Are you serious?” She deadpanned, her voice tinged with disbelief. I responded with a shrug and a shake of my head, a small smile present on my face.

“Seashells, Niamh??” I shake my head again.

“I will bite your father's head off, I swear to the Mother above.” She muttered under her breathe before inhaling. “Come here. I'll show you.”

Hesitantly I followed her to the approaching waves. She took off her shoes and told me to do the same. When the waves came and swept under me, seemingly pulling me towards the ocean, I lost my balance and struggled to stand, the sand slowly sinking beneath my feet as Velaria reached for my gloved arm. She laughs and I couldn't help but do the same. Water splashes onto my clothes, droplets hitting my face and I taste salt in my tongue when I smile. 

Velaria looked down to the sandy floor, the water, despite being cursed by whatever Amarantha did to it, was still pristine blue and clear. Vel reaches out to the floor, occasionally being pushed forward by waves.

She then presented me with tiny stones. 

“This is a seashell.” She says, showing me the circular looking thing, pale blue and yellow colours twisted to the centre of its body. “And this is a conch.” She presents me a larger shell, one not so circular, spiral shaped with tiny spikes twisting into a small spire.

“Conches and seashells are alive actually. But these ones are dead, I think. Just shells. Makes for pretty decor. Maybe we can make a collection for Soleil and Tesni.” She hands them to me and keeps looking for more while I follow behind. 

We spent a good while looking for conches and seashells. I lost the first ones Vel found when I was pushed to the water by a big wave. The water was salty, truly. I had swallowed a good mouthful of it. Velaria, of course, found it funny, dropping her collection of shells to hold her tummy as she laughed at me and the seaweeds that newly adorned my head. How dare she. In retaliation, I flung water to her face. In which resulted in a battle that had us both drenched in sea water from head to toe.

She decided that the shell collecting could wait and before long she was dragging me to the deeper parts of the ocean that the water reached my collarbones. I whined and cried and begged her to bring me back to shore because I.. could not.. swim..

“Oh, you'll be fine. I'll fly you out if you drown.” She clicked her teeth and winked at me.

Velaria is many things. A good swim teacher is not one of them. I lost count on how many times she let me get swept by the waves. In the end, I gave up and just clung to her arm like a slug. We stuck to shell collecting on shallow waters soon after. And when we were satisfied with the amount Velaria suggested: sand castle building. And so while I watched her make a horrendous looking hovel made of sand, I looked through the list of requests again.

“Tesni wants a spider.” I said and Velaria looked at me weird.

“Why would she want a spider?” 

I shrugged and showed her the list. “Is this not a drawing of an arachnid?” I asked.

She looked at the paper for a moment and looked me dead in the eye. “Niamh. That's a crab.”

“What's a crab?”

     — —

Crabs. Crabs are wonderful creatures. I spent a good hour watching them head to sea in a beautiful line while Vel stood watch with her wings spread, protecting the crustaceans from prying seagulls. Crustaceans. That's what they are. Not arachnids. 

Vel gave up on her sand castle after the waves took over and left nothing but a lump of sand in its wake, which was no different from the structure she was working on anyway. Then we head to the city, glamoured like the common folk and still soaking wet because Vel wanted me to try ice cream. And I am proud to say that ice cream has completely altered my brain and that I will have to recreate the dessert back in Hybern. 

I also learned what a coconut was and drank from it and ate its insides. Very nice. Very refreshing. Not spicy at all.

“Do you live under a rock?” The little water wraith child pointed at me. I hear Velaria’s chuckle behind me. ‘She does.’ She murmured.

I asked the child about Amarantha’s curse upon Spring and he thought I’d been playing dumb. Apparently, everyone knows what happened. 

“There was a ball before the first year of Amarantha's reign came to a close. A.. what’s it called? Masquerade ball? She invited the people of Spring to make amends. She offered a seat beside her for the High Lord, to serve as her consort! He refused, of course. Insulted her to her face and faced her wrath for it!”

I hear Velaria suck a breath beside me. “What did she do?” I asked.

“She glued the masks to their faces. Everyone in Spring apparently has them now. She turned the High Lord's heart into stone, putting him in a curse that entails.. that if he doesn't break it in forty-nine years, he will have to surrender and uhm.. ‘bend the knee’, as my brother said..”

“And the curse.. What was it?”

“He had to find himself a human who has hatred for Fae in her heart. He had to bring her to Prythian and make her fall for him. Fall for him truly. Only then.. the curse will be broken and the people of Spring will be freed”

“Only the people of Spring?”

She nods. “If he breaks it, his powers will return to him. He can kill her!”

“And.. has he.. begun the search?”

The girl frowned. “We do not know. We do not know what's happening in Spring anymore. We used to have people.. informants. Human mortals. My brother suspected.. they've been found and killed. There's no way to know now. Less than a year remains.. We're at the mercy of The Unfading one now.”

I was silent for a while as I processed her words.

The weight of not just the Spring Court weighed on his shoulders now. It’s the entirety of Prythian. All the while his powers have been weakened. I felt my heart sink in my chest that it might’ve stopped beating. 

He has to break the curse. He has to..

I felt Velaria’s hand on my shoulders before she knelt before the child in front of us. “Don’t lose hope.” She said. 

The child smiles faintly. “Most of us already have.” She said before running off to catch up to other wraiths who returned to the water to search for more dead fish.

“Niamh.” Velaria calls to me, her hand soft on my arm.

Yet I couldn't hear her..

Masks. Glued onto their faces. I’ve had a mask on my face for as long as I could remember. Amarantha struck me during that one visit. My mask fell. She held it. She held it and the gears in the horrid head began turning. My mask inspired her. I inspired the wretched curse.

And now..

“Niamh..?"

I felt like throwing up.

“I want to go fishing.” I said instead.

     — —

I didn’t want to dwell on it. It’s not my fault. It’s not.. Yet when I do, the guilt gnaws in my chest like a damn parasite. I could only turn to something else to distract myself, distract Velaria because I know well she’s noticed that I’ve been acting strange since the revelation of that curse.

So when the opportunity presented itself, I had volunteered myself to fish near the.. ‘coral reefs’, whatever that was. The fishers needed all the help they could get, after all. Only.. I did not know how to fish. Velaria pretended she could, only to sit there on the raft for hours without anything catching her bait. I stood and watched them, a bit embarrassed to admit I spend a good amount of time just gawking at the colorful reef below the water. A perfect momentary distraction. Only then I knew what corals were. And they were.. so very pretty.

And while I sat there on the edge of the fishers’ raft, I let my left glove disintegrate for a moment, allowing my bare fingers to dip and swirl in the water. I focused my magic, altering the curse that Amarantha had placed on it to.. ease their work. I would only aim to reverse the blight in a small area, hoping to alleviate the fishers' plight without drawing too suspicion. Because Amarantha will find out and the people will surely suffer her wrath for something they once again didn’t do.

The few fishers that were on the raft freaked out when they felt their line tugged beneath the water, thanking the Mother above for such a miracle. Velaria looked at me, knowing well that the miracle was me, and patted me on the head.

The people of Summer couldn't hide their euphoria, now that their bellies were full with the fish. They held a spontaneous celebration by the docks, with some fishermen too impatient to cook their catch at home, instead indulging right there and then. They shared whatever they could do those in need. I needed no fish to fill me, but I was happily shared some either way. 

The people of Summer proved to be as warm and welcoming as the land they lived in.., which is why I regretted deeply that I had to wipe myself and Velaria from their memories before we left.

I do not know what the future holds.. But may there be many more fishes to come to keep those smiles on their faces.

     — —

It's dark when our adventures in Summer ended. Velaria, too tired to enter another Court, suggested we stay on the shores and wait for daylight. So we did. We lay on the sand with the waves still singing in the background and the birds flying overhead and into the sun that sank below, meeting its reflection in the horizon.

I’m not obligated to return to Hybern even if the sun came down as the King instructed me to seek out the three legs of the Cauldron anyway. And so far I have not found nor sensed the priestesses who possess them so.. I dub my vacation extended.

I do not see Hybern in the distance. A good thing. And while Father is out of sight and out of reach, the golden cuffs around my wrist itches still, reminding me that even if he isn't here I am still bound to him and my cage doesn't depend on where I am.. My cage is always with me.

And I am never truly free.

I let the gloves covering my arms disintegrate, letting the cool air brush past the cursed skin of my blackened hands. I fidgeted with the green handkerchief securing the end of my braid, tugging at it until it came undone, freeing the glamour-woven strands. Now revealed was my true hair - a striking silver cascade, shimmering in the sunlight as it fell onto the sand.. 

Slowly, I tie the cloth to my wrist, above the golden cuff, hiding it. Replacing it.

Velaria seems to notice. She lays beside me, her big wings spread freely after a whole day of hiding it.

“Where do you wish to go tomorrow?” She asks, her hand touching mine. 

“Anywhere is fine.. Anywhere is beautiful, surely..” I did not tear my eyes off the clouds as the first tiny silvery specks of stars began to appear, paving way to dusk’s fleeting moment of splendor before night.

“Winter is right up north. Spring to the south.” She says, looking at me as she did.

“Winter.” I say quickly. “Let's go to Winter first. Then Dawn. Day. Then, Night.” I look at her. “To Velaris, if you wish.”

“Do you not want to go to Spring?”

“Do you?”

She said nothing. 

“We can go to Spring last.” I said, turning my gaze back to the changing hues of the skies.

And for a moment, there was peaceful silence between us as we let our eyes rest with the view of the coming of twilight. 

“Why did you snap at Amarantha when she told you of her curse to the Spring Lord?” Her voice was a mere whisper and I fought myself to remain unflinching at her question. Of course she noticed.

Because he is mine..

“Because it was a horrible thing. What she did. I.. The common folk are easy enough to fool. If we wander about Spring with a High Lord present, I doubt we would be so lucky.” I lied. A weak attempt. I know she sees through the lie. Because there is no place and no person I couldn't fool. Not when I could just erase their memories after meeting them. 

Yet she let it slide this time, never prying, always patient.

In truth, it is the High Lord of Spring that I am avoiding. The fear of meeting him and running the risk of the bond snapping for him at last and ruining his efforts of breaking whatever curse Amarantha has brought upon him. I could laugh. That I am here, avoiding my mate when some would commit atrocities to find theirs. Avoiding my mate so that he may find himself a human mortal to make his lover lest he's faced with a worse alternative.

Either way I lose him to another. 

Perhaps I am scared that the bond will snap and I will be unable to control myself. I will ruin him, I will ruin myself and the plans I've well crafted throughout the centuries. The plot against the King, to free my people and myself from our golden shackles.

And so I will sacrifice myself again. And pray.. that in the future I may find him again. And if he's happy with another I will accept the outcome with a stiff lip. 

I close my eyes. My thoughts have not found respite. I have not seen him in what feels like an eternity, his face is all but fading in my mind. And when I close my eyes like this it is gold that I see. Not the gold of my cuffs, or gold of coins. I see golden locks reflecting the shine of the fiery sun. I see green and eternal fields of roses. When we wandered about Autumn, it is to his Court my gaze wanders to and I imagine– I yearn to run to the border and feel the bond tickle at the pulse in my wrist, tugging at it, pulling at it. When we wandered about Summer, the shimmering sand below my feet reminded me of his hair and I wondered if his locks would flow so softly between my fingers as did the sand when it fell through the cracks of my hands.

“Then we will go to Winter.” She held my hand tighter. “I warn you though, it's cold.”

“I got that from the name, Vel.”

The two seasonal courts have embraced me so kindly, with Autumn's warmth and Summer's fresh ocean air, I have no doubt that the others will too. I have no doubt that snow will be as captivating as the children say, nor do the libraries tempt me to stay in Day. I have no doubt that the skies are most beautiful when it's dimly lit like a candle's flame in the quiet of Dawn. I have no doubt that Velaris is as beautiful as Velaria described, adorned with a thousand falling crystals that light up its dark skies.

Yet deep down, I find myself yearning for what lies to the south. Spring consumes my thoughts, beckoning me with its lush plains and colourful blooms. Sights that I could only conjure in my mind. 

It is Spring that I long to experience above all else.

     — —     — —

<<Ch.1 <<Ch.5 ___ Ch.7>>

A/n: She's going through it 😭 Such a yearner, she wants him so bad 😔😔 girl me too. Getting attached with the Lighthouse children ngl. They are important to me and the plot 😔♥ I want more lesser fae that are not literally just humans with pointed ears. I want Holly Black kind of fae people, that's what most of the children Niamh keeps are, not entirely humanlike, but a good balance between humanoid and creature. Myb I'll draw them aaa

Vel showing her around or just her getting to know Prythian reminded me of this song. Niamh is so Ariel-coded ngl 🥹

[doodle17]

Do you have any headcanon voices for Raz and Co. when their older?

I do! Actually!

I cant really see any other voice for Raz. It just fits him too much to change! Raz himself thought his voice would change at least a little. He was hoping he would start to sound more professional and charismatic, almost Matthew McConaughey-esque. He manages the charisma and professionalism, but he still sounds the same, more similar to Richard Horvitz's regular talking voice. The only thing that really changed is volume, if anything. He tends to project his voice (unintentionally most of the time) and when intentional, it's usually to fit the very comic book style action hero "Stop right there, you fiend!" Voice. He sometimes reverts to sounding like squeaky preteen when nervous. But it makes it really easy to impersonate as a lady when disguised or over a phone call though!

Lili's voice changed a bit, actually. Unlike Raz, her voice actually got deeper.(imagine Lilly from "The Walking Dead" but a little higher and more raspy) Similar to Raz, however, I can't imagine any other voice for her other than her og voice actor, Nikki Rapp (Which is why I used Lilly as an example lol) Her voice does tend to change depending on her mood. Her voice can get hissy and gravelly when angry or frustrated, but she can also get loud, even screechy when panicked (or, if you really piss her off. )

Dogen sounds similar to Josh Gad. LMAO I KNOW but seriously! Idk how to explain it, but he has the right pitch and some other stuff I can't put my finger on.... It just fits to me!

Bobby's voice got deeper, waaay deeper, and a little nasal-y. His lisp is completely gone as well. His voice is pretty gravelly when talking normally, and trying to understand what he's saying when he whispers is tricky. The grit in his voice is seems intentional, almost as if he's doing it on purpose to seem more gruff and intimidating. Despite how deep his voice is, he can get pretty whiney, and similarly to Lili, his voice gets screechy when stressed.

Chloe's voice sounds the same. A little deeper but still raspy, little more pointed and professional. She's pretty good at tricking people into thinking she's a kid on the phone or from a distance.

Clems voice also got deeper, but he very obviously trys to elevate it to sound more perky and young. It makes him very prone to voice cracks, and she gets sore throats more often than one would think. He sounds a little similar Rob Paulson, actually. Imagine if Rob Paulson was trying to do an impression of a perky teen and there you go! He's also still trying to keep up that peppy and encouraging cheer persona, so she tends to shout a lot. His voice can get deep and pointed when angry. I think threatening would be a good word to describe it.

Crystal's is the same, she's definitely more relaxed so her voice isn't as squeaky or high. It can get more wobbly and unstable when she shows literally any emotion.

D'art's voice sounds like Tom Kenny, with a bit of a feminine twang to it. Also full of cynicism and bitterness, but thats always how he's always been.

Elton voice sounds like Johnny Depp doing an awkward/nervous voice (I'll use Victor Vandort as an example). He can also sound very desperate and whiney. He's usually quiet, any attempt on raising his voice usually result in him shrinking back down and becoming mumbly. Of course he can be assertive when needed, and he can project his voice pretty well.

Kitty has a deep and more richer voice. Very particular and pointed. she can go from superiority and poise to crude and sharp in seconds.

Franke's voice is surprisingly deep. She can sound very blunt and gets a little gruff, but she's got charisma and sounds relaxed most of the time. She doesn't raise her voice often, she usually prefers to get her point across with a firmer tone, making her sound more grumble-y and makes it harder to understand what she's saying.

HONORABLE MENTIONS JUST BECAUSE I WANTED TO:

Mirtalas voice starts getting more raspy, similarly to Raz, and Queepie's gets a little more nasal like Frazies! He's bummed about it because he was hoping to get a deep booming voice like his dad

[cracklyy]

I have more questions, if you please! Just a heads up, it's a lot of questions about the Duck lives au.

1. As he gets older, would Duck start to want to be called Kenny Jr, or would he just make Duck his real name, because calling him Kenny would remind him of his dad and make him sad?

2. I know you said that Duck and James are a thing, but what is Duck's sexuality? Does he have a label or is he unlabeled?

3. When Duck was at Howes, how did he act? Was he trying to follow the rules, most likely because of potential consequences, or was he lashly out, being a rebel?

4. When Kenny was going to kill Carver, did Duck and/or Clem stay to watch.

5. When Kenny starts becoming more unstable, would Duck try to justify what Kenny is doing, or would he start gradually distancing himself? And how would his relationship with Jane be, depending on the answer.

And 6. During the Kenny v Jane fight, would Duck or Clem shoot Kenny or let Jane die.

P.S I'm sorry if this is a lot of questions, I just want to know more

I'm just for the questions! I'm very glad you're asking, it's fun!

1. I think yes, with age he would like to be called Kenny Jr, he would wear this name with pride. But the closest ones (Clementine, Alvin Jr) could address him as Duck, and they got used to it, and he is comfortable hearing his "nickname" from his family.

2. I think Duck wouldn't be familiar with the concept of sexualities, he just loves and wants to be loved xb. But if we are speaking orientations - then, most likely, he is pansexual/panromantic. He just has no idea what it is called.

3. I think he was trying to analyze the situation at first. He genuinely liked Walter and his ski station, and after he was killed, Duck hated all the people who were on Carver's side. In Hawes, he would definitely snap at Bonnie, for him, her deception was an extremely low act as well as her attempts to get closer & cheer him up. In general, he would not have gone into trouble, but since his emotions are very open, his contempt for Carver would have been noticeable, and Carver himself did not like it. Just like Clem, he helped with the escape

4. Oh, an interesting question! I still think no, I wouldn't. Duck is an emotional person, but at the same time he knows how to control anger well (this is from his mother). Duck would not have liked this side of his father; he would not have dissuaded him from beating Carver, but he wouldnt have stayed to watch it either. I think Clem would have left with Duck in this situation. They wouldn't try to discuss Kenny's actions in general, planning on what to do next instead

5. This is a really difficult question. I've been thinking about it a lot too. I think he would not have been close to Jane's philosophy about loneliness and in general they would not have been very close (still, he did not look very much like her younger sister). But he also didn't like his father's aggression. At first, he would justify his father's difficult fate and the loss of Sarita, but then his aggression would become more and more annoying to Duck. During Jane and Kenny's fight, he would have been more scared than ever. In the end, he would not be able to pull himself together and the last decision would be left to Clem. In my AU, she would not have intervened in Jane's murder, she and Kenny would have walked to Wellington and said a tearful goodbye there. Kenny would have given Duck his cap and said something like "see you later, son." I think Duck understood that they had a better chance of surviving with a small child in Wellington, besides, he still hadn't been released after Jane's murder, and Duck wouldn't have protested much against Kenny's desire to leave them here. Perhaps later he would regret it and think about how his father was in solitary there, but with age these thoughts would become less. Still, his father didn't handle the new world very well.

6. I answered it at 5 :D

Your questions help me come up with some more details myself & inspire me greatly, thank you for that!! Always feel free to ask more questions :D

[shadowqueen402]

The Maiden And The Huntsman: Chapter 20

(Later)

In the middle of the forest, Kaufmo, Leo, Pomni, Gangle, Bianca, Phil, and Clem had placed Princess Aria in a glass coffin that they had crafted. Instead of being dark like usual, lots of sunlight filtered through the leaves of the trees, shining down on Princess Aria's figure.

Nobody said a word to each other. Instead of grief, they now had hope in their eyes. There was hope that Reala truly was the one that can awaken the princess from her slumber. That said, they wondered if Reala really was Princess Aria's true love.

The silence was suddenly broken by the sound of flying. Gangle, Kaufmo, Leo, Pomni, Phil, Bianca, and Clem all turned to see NiGHTS, Balan, Lance, Jax, and Reala flying toward them. "I hope we weren't too late," NiGHTS said, landing on their feet. They undualized with Jax before approaching the glass coffin.

"So that's where you all put the princess…" Jax said, gazing at the coffin that Princess Aria laid in, her eyes still closed.

"We did…" Pomni said. "Queen Primrose… Was she ever punished for what she did?"

"She's currently imprisoned in the dungeons where she'll stay from now on," Balan said. "Reala can now awaken the princess now that the evil queen is gone."

Kaufmo and Leo nodded to each other before they both carefully lifted the glass lid off. Reala slowly approached the coffin, his gaze focused on Princess Aria.

"Pucker up, lover boy," Jax teased, grinning while he crossed his arms.

Reala ignored Jax's teasing while he gazed into Princess Aria's face. Then, he slowly leaned down and gently pressed his black lips onto hers. Everyone watched with anticipation, wanting to know if the princess would wake up.

Suddenly, Princess Aria opened her eyes and looked up at Reala in surprise and relief. "Reala?" She asked as a small smile appeared on her face.

"It is I, Princess," Reala said, scooping her off the coffin.

Gangle gasped in excitement. "True love's kiss really did break the spell!"

"You did it, Reala!" NiGHTS exclaimed. "You've awoken the princess!"

The Seven Dwarves all of a sudden cheered in amazement while Princess Aria and Reala embraced each other.

"Now that it's over, should we take the princess home?" Jax suggested. "I think her parents are worried about her."

"They are really worried, though," Balan said. "To the Scottish kingdom we go!" He then snapped his fingers.

And everyone disappeared in a white light.

Aria and her parents belong to me.

Madame Prim belongs to @kayssweetdreams

Bianca, Phil, and Clem belong to @sundove88

[disco-tea]

Hi! Okay so I saw you also ship Hellcheer and yay! Cuz I thought of a hellcheer inspired au for Buffy and Spike and I think you might appreciate it?

So, this would be like, the Buffy we met before she became the slayer (she's a cheerleader and in her cheer outfit). So she hasn't been chosen just yet, but it's coming and she's like starting to see weird things (demons and vamps) but hasn't had to fight yet. But obvi she feels like she's losing it. So she goes to the local drug dealer cuz she just thinks she's crazy and she needs to calm down somehow. Enter Spike (starts off human), who is the local drug dealer lol. But he's not in high school. She's a senior so she's 18 and he's like 25. (Also side note but he has a band too, singer/guitar/songwriter with his bestie Oz on backup vocals/guitar and human Clem on drums lol). And so she's never done drugs she's nervous and Spike looks scary obvi. But then this is where the picnic scene comes in (she's scared cuz of the visions and he's suspicious but then can tell she's really scared, she doesn't want him to leave, he gets her to relax and smile) and then she goes to his trailer and she feels safe with him, he keeps making her smile and laugh. They get to have some moments before! Okay they do get to smoke a bit of weed and it's Buffy's first time (I think it should be her first time) like she's not super high but she's relaxed and still knows what she's doing. So Spike puts a record on, Buzzcocks (I do think Buffy would like them) and it's "Ever Fallen in Love (with someone you shouldn't've)" cuz, yeah lol. And like maybe they're kinda head banging jumping around (cheesy lol) but you know the lyrics, and they kinda slow down and they looking into each others eyes and maybe they're loosely holding each other not realizing it and kinda swaying and it finishes and then they kiss for the first time. And then Giles comes and tells her she's the slayer and some dangerous vamps are coming for her.

It's Angel (no soul) and Dru. They came to get the jump on Buffy. (Idk why but I don't see Darla in this) Dru bites him and is his sire, Spike is obvi drawn to her. But Spike is still loyal to Buffy on some level. So he's def like gray morally speaking in this from the get-go.

(And it's so devastating for Buffy. She thinks she's crazy and then she meets someone she'd never talk to otherwise and they vibe so well and then she finds out she's the fucking slayer. And then he turns into a vamp. And she's going to blame herself.)

(Also let's pretend vamps turn instantly) and that's why she hesitates with staking him and he gets away with Dru and Angel. And then he joins the dark side blah blah. So they have this history, and then kinda like an in season 2 there's end of the world thing Angel is trying to do so it's reluctant teaming up but they know and like each other and it's tense and it's weird and there's UST. So of course Buffy's like, oh I can't want to like him he's a vamp now blah blah but then they're working together and she's like, he's so like the Spike I knew?? Like he acts like how he did before sometimes. And then yeah they can't keep apart duh lol.

Sorry it's like super long😅😅😅 but anyways I think it's such a fun au for them? And also hellcheering was too fun to resist! Lol

Sorry it took me so long to reply, I keep forgetting to check my inbox. I’ll admit I never really thought of a hellcheer AU for them even though their archetypes are similar/adjacent. This is v fun! I especially love the idea of Spike and Oz and human!clem in a band, that sounds so fun.

[cosmicheartz]

More ramblings! Plus some bonus Maloof and Mikhail stuff that’s relevant to Clems arc

Again cw for suicide and also ig unhealthy relationship stuff?

- I like to think Crystal ends up gaining a small crush on both Raz and Lili but it’s not like a huge deal. I feel like if she does get with someone I’m thinking Phoebe though Raz/Lili/Crystal would be fun to explore

- her psi powers currently include levitation ( her speciality ) and mental projection ( also astral projection but that seems like smth most psychics know )

- regarding her archetypes she currently has 3

Her first one and the one used most often is the Cheerleader which represents the optimistic supportive and hopeful side of her. Cheerleader is basically her inner cheerleader and also helps cheer Crystal up when she’s going through a rough patch

The second one I don’t have an exact name for yet but it represents Crystals depression and former suicidal ideations

The third one is called the hatred/loathing and is a hold over from when she was really in the trenches mental health wise plus when she and Clem were still close. It represents the hatred of humanity Crystal had ( partially influenced by Clem ). Very cynical and often argues with the other archetypes ( mainly Cheerleader )

- outside of Raz and Lili Crystal is very close with Phoebe and Quentin.

- I didn’t mention this in the previous post but I think Clem has some romantic feelings towards Crystal but it isn’t reciprocated on Crystals end. The feelings on Clem’s end still persist after their falling out ( and uhh those feelings quickly derail into obsession )

- Crystals mental world has a few “ hidden “ areas ( ie how Milla has the room regarding her trauma from the orphanage fire ) one of them is basically her fear of Clem committing suicide. Gameplay wise the room would be a boss which is basically a fucked up nightmare version of Clem.

- Maloof is also a psychic villain and runs like a psychic mafia ( I hc that his family comes from a line of psychic mafia bosses and he ends up following in his dads footsteps ) Mikhail is Maloofs bodyguard/the muscle ( he isn’t exactly villainous though but would be considered one )

- how this ties into villain Clem is that he somewhat works for Maloof though He doesn’t consider himself part of the mafia.

- I haven’t thought too much into Clems psi powers but I like to think his prominent power is TK ( I also like the idea of him being able to use psi blast too ) he isn’t able to properly use levitation anymore due to his state of mind.

- this song basically describes Crystal and Clem in this hc/au

brain dump abt my hcs for older crystal and clem bc ive been thinking abt them alot

cw for mentions of sucide

so to start i personally think Crystal and Clems friendship is kinda toxic. i think both of them genuinely care about each other but also they feed into each others suicidal ideations, also its shown that Clem is a lot more cynical and jaded than Crystal so i think he somewhat unintentionally encourages Crystal's suicidal tendencies.

as they get older I personally see Crystal trying to better her mental state while Clems starts to get worse. it causes a rift between their relationship that ends up them getting into a huge argument which pretty much ends their friendship ( note: this would happen at Clems last year at the summer camp so he'd be 13 and Crystal would be 12 ) Crystal is very much crushed by this which ends up with her suicidal thoughts coming back ( albeit not as intense as during psychonauts 1 ). She ends up seeking help ( either by Milla or maybe an new counselor at the camp? i have some ideas for psychonauts counselor ocs ) and also starts to make friends with the other campers too ( i hc that she and phoebe are rlly close though phoebe probably finished camp at the time crystal and clems argument happens. they definitely start hanging more when crystal gets into the intern program ) She still worries about Clem though and occasionally tries to get in contact with him ( mainly to make sure he's well.. still alive ) though most of the time Clem rarely gets back to her and when he does their convos are pretty short and awkward

Crystal also hangs out with Raz and Lili too

anyways so Crystal becomes a junior psychonaut a couple years after she becomes an intern ( so like 17-18ish? ) and she goes on her first mission with Raz ( something something they have to stop some villains ) little did they know that one of the villains would be Clem Foote

[synthmama]

❝  you don’t have to talk, we can just sit together.  ❞

soft sentences: accepting.

“Pfft, man. You are way too young to be having to lend a shoulder to people double your age.” The way Clem says it is too familiar, too practiced; as if in that small lifespan of hers, she’s already offered these words more times that can be counted. Amid their own quiet, Sanctuary bustles, but along old paved roads does AJ play with a few of the other children. Quinn tracks the girl’s stare, before leaning over just enough to nudge her shoulder against the other’s. 

“Look, I know it’s hard to feel like you can’t just breathe again. That you can’t not spend every second looking over your shoulder.” Quinn stares out ahead. When it comes to things like this, there is a kindness in allowing the other the luxury of privacy, in not being seen in these moments. “I can’t say that won’t ever change in this lifetime, but -- you can at least know there’ll be others looking over your shoulder too when you’re here. Just as long as you do your weekly KP duty, got it?” 

[mscryptix]

Alright another chubby Eddie gremlin!!!

So glad to have you in our gremlin corner!!

Just picture Steve baking trays of cookies and stuff to bring to Hellfire meetings like a good significant other/den mother.

Making everyone a tray to share, but Eddie his own personal dozen or so for himself.

"Why does Eddie get his own tray of cookies and we have to share?" someone asks.

Steve rolls his eyes, "Because I baked love into those cookies, and I love him."

-Clem🍊

Thank you!!! Happy to join in the gremlin hivemind! 🥰🥰

Also this ask: yesss!!!! - so sweet! 💝💝 Also can so easily picture the immediate responding chorus of kids disgusted groaning n moaning, “ew” (Max) “yuuck” (Dustin) and sticking their fingers down their throat making gag/vomit noises (Mike), like geez mum, dad stoooop! You’re so embarrassing god! 😫😫😖😖

Steve would just plant an obnoxiously loud, wet smooch on Eddie’s cheek and retreat totally unphased, while Eddie just looks so rosy cheeked, plump, proud and smitten (secretly, Will, El, and Lucas all think caretaking is the height of romance, n think it’s sincerely, and unironically super sweet & romantic, BUT are totally silent coz NONE! of them are gonna cop to this for fear of risking the ensuing ribbing…)

But oh my god!! The timing of this ask coz I was totally daydreaming along these lines the other day!

Thinking along the lines of Steve and Eddie, feeling out their way when just getting into a relationship, particularly with regard to everyday, simple supportive acts - like, they’ve both been shown to disdain, and look down on each others chosen hobbies in-show - Steve looking down on nerds and associated activities, and Eddie looking down on ”a game where you toss balls into laundry baskets” come to mind..

But they each catch their meaner, reflexive judgments early on, a little shamefacedly, and they mutually & separately make a concentrated effort to really try for each other to at least give what the other likes a good n open-minded chance, it’s still the honeymoon phase and the need to know everything about the other person, and spend as much time together as possible is ~powerful~~

Now Eddie is not stepping foot on a basketball court anytime soon (boy is an absolute flailing unco and I will not change my mind on this, accident prone and could trip over his own feet when standing still) but he really does make an effort and tries to watch games when Steve invites him to….with completely mixed results

He’s good at getting the basics & the rules once it’s explained to him, his brains wired well for that already, but the finer points of the techniques & action & passage of play are lost on him, and he absolutely zoooones, like brain completely on another plane, during the games until Steve addresses him directly or reacts out-loud to something/anything (“oh my god!! EDDDIE!! Did you see that?!” “Honestly Steve..no I didn’t”). But strangely it’s fine, he’ll sit with Steve in (amazingly!shockingly!*) almost silence for the duration of a game, offering up smiles, cheers, back slaps & consolations appropriately, and mostly he’ll just adoringly watch Steve be excited about something he loves. Steve appreciates the effort so much, also likes so much the idea that these are basically covert dates (hashtag the 80s), takes the opportunity to make sure he buys Eddie a tonne of Stadium snacks like hot dogs and pretzels whatever, Steve’s paying for everything (date!!) and keeping Eddie very well fed and all up, they have a good time. Eddie’s with him, and Steve feels heard, seen & loved, and adjacent to that, it’s almost just meditative quality time for Eddie. Watching (“staring in the direction of” in Eddie’s case) basketball is *nice*, but eventually once their relationship is more established - it’s sorta solidified as a Steve-only thing, moreso, becomes a Steve & Lucas bonding activity, which is all good, and Eddie will join if Steve asks but it’s not something they *have* to do together all the time. It’s something Steve loves, and Eddie loves him. End of.

On the flip side - Steve is at a HUGE LOSS whenever a single thing about D&D is explained to him. No matter how many times. Mucks up the names, can’t keep score to save himself, it’s actually in one ear n out the other at record speed, his minds not even like a sieve, but more like a salad spinner turned to 11

It makes him a bit insecure, being unable to reciprocate, not having the type of mind to at least grasp the basics like Eddie was able to quite easily with basketball. Doubly so coz he can see the effort Eddie’s making to be very patient with him.

He gets put out & down on himself briefly, but Steve’s a) resilient, and b) a pragmatist. So whatever! he can’t/won’t join in, can’t find it in himself to follow the campaigns as they happen in front of him** but he has other things he can do to help and be a part of Eddie’s passions!

Hellfire Club consists of hungry, bottomless pits of growing teenage boys (and an Erica, and occasionally guest starring a Max and/or an El), and his likewise ~*growing*~, bottomless-pit-to-rule-all-bottomless-pits, adult boyfriend at the helm.

They have some sort of informal snack roster that no one seems to remember or follow, except for Dustin and Jeff (and also, loudly, unwelcomely, and un-contributing-ly, Max) so inevitably every meeting begins with a 10 minute squabble about who was supposed to &didn’t bring the required snacks, So great! an easy role to step in and fill! A quick calculation of his Family video wages vs the amount of pre-packaged stuff he’d be buying each week on the reg means homemade it is!

So Steve picks himself up, and throws himself into the kitchen!

Steve’s always been okay in a kitchen, and since he’s been interested in Eddie, (interested in taking care of him initially, and then REAALLY 😳 interested in taking care of him) he’s gotten to really enjoy baking, and gotten pretty confident with it.

Nowadays, baking is a stress relieving means, to an often sexy ends, for Steve. The act of baking itself, Steve finds, quiets his mind, so he’ll bake up a storm easily n happily without thinking twice on it. Also, Steve likes collecting and trying new recipes, being adventurous! But he’s still not yet really confident enough in his baking output to release new untested creations on an unsuspecting, and what he knows will be a definitely judgy, audience.

So sadly, I mean, “Eddie?” He’s gonna need a taste tester. 😔 It’s the logical and *only* solution. Only thing for it. 😉

Help me Eddie Munson, you’re my only hope.

Eddie easily acquiesces, with an affectionate eye roll, a kiss, and a knowing smirk.

So begins a new weekly project.

Monday night is dress rehearsal: Monday afternoon Steve will bake a tray of goods, or more, depending on how much would be needed to feed the whole of Hellfire (“Geez Stevie do you really need to make so much the first time round?” “Cmon Ed’s, It wouldn’t be a true trial if I altered the recipe in any way” [he says, despite having already doubled it] “okay darlin, whatever you say”) Eddie’ll saunter in “honey I’m home”-ing from work, come up and hug Steve from behind, soft belly hitting Steve’s back first and squishing up warmly against him, surrounding him, and saying in a deliciously deep voiced whisper “Whatcha got for me tonight sweetheart?” It’s a wonder Steve’s even able to remember the names of whatever goods he’s just baked sometimes

There’s a bit of pretence each time - Steve asking Eddie’s honest opinion as he feeds him each serve by hand:

“I mean maybe the salts a bit much? What do you think Eddie?”

Eddie somewhat breathlessly replying, playing a true critic, like “Hmm maybe babe. Didn’t notice on that last one though. Better try another to really make sure. I’ll pay extra attention this time” no bite is truly enough to say for certain that the recipe absolutely needs no tweaking.

And Eddie will hold Steve to his initial word and insist on eating the whole thing

“God Baby…you sure you can take anymore? You’re looking pretty full, say the word and we can call it a night”

Eddie’s shirts ridden up and Steve’s non-feeding hand is delicately circling Eddie’s massive taut, pale belly

But Eddie will refuse to even unbutton his straining pants, refuse to stop until the batch is truly finished,

“Now, now, Stevie, what are you even saying? It wouldn’t be a true trial if I didn’t try the whole. Unaltered recipe. Wouldn’t want to let all your hard work go to waste”

And Jesus the amount of busted jeans Eddie is going through weekly….Steve’s saving on pre-packaged goods but he definitely feels guilty in a practical way for Eddie’s sake, so that money instead goes towards keeping Eddie comfortably clothed

——————

*maybe not that “amazingly”. Boy is loud and chatty, but clearly has a rich imaginative life, most likely almost catatonic with the weight of his imagination through his whole schooling experience. Eddie WANTS to graduate, can’t seen him as a completely disruptive class presence, primarily a lost one. Quietness might not be totally foreign..initially Steve’s amazed I guess but not once he knows Eddie better

**just side note - the brain barrier Steve faces throws him here, coz when Eddie’s running ideas by him and explaining his DM storylines? He’s hanging on every word! Like “yeahyeah!! Sounds awesome babe! 🥰”then…When everyone’s actually playing & interacting? arguing and in-joking with each other? Might as well be another language, what is even going on…

— So also I’ve got more to this, sorry so much was mostly just table-dressing and setting establishment, but kinkier addition to follow 🙈

[httpiastri]

hello! since the year is almost over, i wanted to ask what your favorite moments from 2023 were in these series: f1, f2, f3, indycar, and freca/f4 (if you watched those)! happy holidays 💚❤️

f1 – so so many good ones to choose from!! watching oscar take his first points in his home race was magical. silverstone was pretty insane too, i was pretty much freaking out and not believing my eyes during quali. it felt so surreal, i still smile when i think about it, i remember how i was like jumping and going crazy in front of my tv while my cousin just stared at me like 🤨 obviously suzuka and qatar too, mclaren podiums will always have a special place in my heart. all of lando's podiums make me so warm too <3 and liam's first points in singapore !!!!

f2 – it would be silly not to say baku, no? it was such an amazing weekend to experience. ollie truly showed his capabilities and i was very proud <3 i also really loved his feature win in monza, an fda boy in prema's home race and just 🥺 and zandvoort, obviously! clem!!!

f3 – more lows than highs lol. no, but monaco was a good weekend, dino first in his quali group and then his 2nd place in the feature <3 paul in hungary, his redemption in the sprint !! and spa before they pitted with paul 🤭 hoping for more highlights for dino next year, he was too unlucky in 2023 :(

indy – i wasn't super into indy this year (planning on watching more actively next year!) but the indy 500 is something that springs to my mind. my whole family was gathered in front of the tv (even my brother and mom who don't really care for motorsports) and we were all so nervous for marcus (ericsson) lol. other than that, all i can remember is waiting up until like 2am for quali one weekend (cant remember which) this summer and then realizing that there was a storm and it was postponed several hours 😶

freca/f4 – hmmm i feel like most of the f4/freca races i watched were pretty unlucky for the drivers i was cheering for lol... all i can remember is arvid being crashed into, and me chatting with people in the live youtube chat lol. ohhhh but freca in zandvoort, the feature when kimi started p8 (?) but took the lead in like 2 laps and then won by 12 seconds despite the red flag, a great way to secure the title 😁

[fortnas]

she had dropped everything as soon as she’d gotten wind of the news — but had been informed too late to do anything to really help, other than utilise her ( currently unlicensed ) healer skills. until ned had called her, clementine had managed to drop everything & functionally stood still, waiting desperately for a call to action. she’s blissfully unaware of how un-put-together she looks in the first t-shirt snatched up off the floor, and the coffee-stained jeans pinched from the top of the laundry basket, with at least two ringlets of hair stuck straight up, defying gravity. it’s one of the first times she’s been in his flat, and the temptation to look around is only just offset by the concern in her bones. her shoulders relax and a half-smile even starts to emerge when they hear ginny is okay, the ‘our’ both balm & sting. the smile then immediately drops, of course.   “ the malfoy prick? not ginny’s boyfriend? ”  in theory, he wouldn't be that callous if it was the young malfoy in question, but at this point it's not unbelievable. clem rolls her eyes at the pronouncement that she's had a wasted journey, arms going up in exasperation and flopping down to perch on the edge of the arm of his sofa.   “ 'course you are. you look like shit. ”  she can't tell if ned's actively attempting to keep the blood on his arm hidden, but she had spotted it the second she'd walked in through the door. she always wanted him to actually ask for help – but an ask forgiveness, not permission approach always seemed to work best. she doesn't move from her perch, not yet, but there's clear analysis in her gaze. 

"no. not that one," as if there's a surplus of them to choose from. as if her confusion is anything but his fault, same as this whole, sorry situation they've now found themselves in ; ned actually manages to feel affronted, eyes turned downward and frown forming because clementine has the audacity to assume he means the kid. it's a difficult thing to be so aware of your own shortcomings, so tuned into the truth of your own nature. he's not put out by her, really, not as much as he is HIMSELF & the very idea that he might now be the kind of person she has to second guess like that. he hadn't always been so cruel, had he ? he hadn't always given her so much reason to doubt ? his rising disgust at himself leaves a bitter taste in his mouth he washes down with a gulp from his glass, another thing he knows she'll notice, another fight - or at least, it had been, once - that they've had before. "lucius. he caught a curse... we don't know what one- might've been homemade. ate him from the inside," he shakes his head & it doesn't half dispel the image burned into the back of his eyelids. ned used to be better at that. used to have a stomach for it, so to speak, or used to have the ability to leave work at work, at least. now he'll think about it forever, just another brutal memory to keep him up at night. he takes another drink for good measure, her next words causing him to exhale sharply into the depths of it, a miserable sort of laugh. "cheers. and you know, you look beautiful as ever, but..." and he actually looks at her, now - from the few pieces of hair sticking straight up all the way down to her loosely tied shoes, and he bites his lip, gives a kind of one shouldered shrug, kicked puppy eyes wet in spite of himself. but he's not allowed say it anymore. or he is, but it doesn't matter. "whatever. i can patch myself up, clem. same as always."

[vikingknight90]

I know I’m not the first, but I wanted to do my own version of “What if Clem confessed her feelings to Louis later than in the game?” It turned into this little spur-of-the moment fic. Hope you enjoy ^^  Pairing: Clementine/Louis

Warning: Some angsty talk, but just a little. 

------------

“Hey, Louis...?” Clementine closed her eyes and enjoyed the gentle breeze engulfing them as they sat on the worn roof on the far west side of Ericson’s to get a glance of the sunset. 

It had been Louis’ idea. He had noticed her acting down for a while as the healing of her leg was moving too slow for her liking. Adjusting to her peg leg that AJ had made for her as he promised (that was, with the help of Willy and Ruby) was difficult, the soreness of her stump crying out every time it met the peg leg’s resistance, making Clementine stumble with tears pressing on her eyes and whispered curses under her breath. How long would it take until she could be of any use again? She wasn’t sure how she’d let Louis convince her into climbing onto the boarding school’s roof in this very state, but something about his eagerness and warm smiles, coupled with that playful look he’d occasionally give her that lately made her heart beat a little faster than before, ulimately won her over. He had offered her a compromise while taking her into a part of school she had never been to in order to find the stairs leading to the attic. “I promise you can beat me over the head with your crutch if the view disappoints you.”

Louis had turned and smiled at her while he held her hand leading her down the hallway while she hobbled behind him, and the warm feeling once again rushed to her cheeks while she managed to smile back and retort that she’d hold him up to that. He located the steep and partly broken stairs leading to what he explained was one of the two school attics, and carefully stepped behind Clementine and held her waist as she awkwardly climbed ahead of him. She already relieved him of the promise as it turned out she had to leave her one crutch behind in order to properly climb the dusty steps. 

“I can still give you a good kick with my peg leg, so don’t feel too safe.”

She heard Louis’ laugh behind her and enoyed the feeling of his hands on her waist, and wondered just when she had started feeling similarly towards him that she had known for some time he felt for her. Had it been after they had all escaped the boat explosion and Louis stood in front of her, chest heaving after he’d just killed a walker targeting her? She recalled how relieved she had felt that tears pressed on her eyes and she had thrown her arms around him, head pressed against his chest and thanking whatever higher power there was that he was alive. 

Of course it had began before that. Clementine remembered how self-conscious she had felt that night by the piano, when he had asked her to blow on the strings and told her just how much her company meant to him, and she could tell he had been nervous for what her reply was, wondering just what her feelings were for him. 

She hadn’t known at the time. It had happened too fast and she’d stumbled on her words and told Louis what a precious friend he was to her, hoping it wouldn’t crush him if he was really saying what she thought he was saying. She really meant her words and didn’t want to lose his friendship. 

The immediate look of disappointment on his face hadn’t escaped her notice, but he had quickly replaced it with a smile and asked her for a fist pump, something that still made Clementine snort at the memory.  Really, a fist pump? She had continued to worry if his exaggerated cheerfulness was fleeting and he would go on to distance himself from her after the sort of-rejection, but he hadn’t. On the contrary, Louis had continued to be sweet and warm and probably the best friend she’d gotten here at Ericson’s, which was weird to think about considering the... turbulent start they had had with him, to put it lightly. But after everything - Marlon’s death, her and AJ being kicked out and later returning, the raiders, the boat infiltration, the bridge scuffle with Minerva, Clementine getting bitten and nearly dying and losing her right leg... after all that, here they were. Louis was helping her climb stairs and laughing and she was there to laugh with him, looking like two ordinary and carefree teenagers fooling around, if not one of these teenagers having a peg leg in place of her real one, Clementine reminded herself of. 

Not that it was ever something that seemed to bother Louis either, apart from feeling sorry for her, that was. But Clementine appreciated that he didn’t shower her with pity either, he could tell she didn’t want it, nor did she need it, and he instead cheered her up in more subtle ways, like taking her to the school library to find books for her to read (now that she was sitting a lot more), coming to her room to play card games with her and AJ, bringing her second fillings during meals so she didn’t have to get up that much, and so on. Stuff that Louis assured her was no big deal and he was happy to do them for her, but Clementine appreciated these small things greatly and felt more closely connected to him than any of the others, if she hadn’t done so already.    Asking her to climb to the school roof with him, however, that was a first.

Clementine panted and coughed a little at the dusty and humid air of the attic hitting her once they were up, and she looked around to see all the crates and boxes covered with webs and even moss at places after not having been touched for eight years. Some filled to the brim with various junk, others tipped over and empty. She jolted as a mangy rat scattered over the dark and moldy floor just a few feet from them.

“Charming place.” she commented and allowed herself to lean her arm on Louis while catching her breath, and felt warm again as he responded by placing his hand on her for further support. 

“Jeesh, it’s even damper and moldier than the last time I was up here. Maybe we should leave the windows open to freshen the place up.” 

He waited till she felt better before telling her to wait while he went ahead to look for something.

“I joke, but as you can see there actually is a window here.” he gestured a few feet above them and Clementine looked up to see a gray and filthy window between a worn frame barely letting any of the clouded daylight in from the outside.  “Does it even open after eight years? It looks pretty worn down. Not to mention in bad need of a dusting.”

“Doesn’t that apply for the whole school? I’ve been up here and opened the window before actually... it’s been a while since last time, but it should be okay. Here.”

Louis came back with a stepladder whose state seemed to match everything else in the attic. Clementine raised an eyebrow at him as he placed it beneath the window. 

“You’re kidding, right? You want to climb that thing? It looks like it’s ready to break any minute. And how do you expect me to reach the window at all in my state?”

“Hey, trust me.”

Louis stomped on two of the stepladder’s steps to demonstrate to her that it was fairly sturdy, despite its look. 

“I’m telling you, I’ve done this before. It’ll take a little effort, but I’ll support you all the way.”

He smiled and reached his hand out towards her, that usual smile of his like there wasn’t anything silly about what they were about to do at all. Clementine sighed and shook her head, but conceded and hobbled towards him. She took his hand which he guided to grab at the stepladder’s handle, and carefully stepped up. It swayed a little, and she let out an involuntary gasp and tightened her hold, but then Louis grabbed it with one arm on each side of her and steadied it. 

“I got you.”

Clementine shook her head again and wondered how on earth he talked her into this again, to sit on some cold roof and see the top of the trees surrounding the school rather than their trunks from the ground? But she thought of how excited he had been when inviting her and didn’t want to upset him by saying so, so she kept shut and slowly let her peg leg follow her right foot onto the last step, the window just above her head. 

“Now what?”

“Try and open it. I’ll climb up behind you and push you up.”

Another sigh. Clementine grabbed the window’s handle and, with a small tug, it came open with a loud, uncomfortable creak. Dust flew from the frame with the sudden motion and made her nose itch. She looked outside to see the clouds slowly making way for a red evening sky, but she didn’t feel convinced yet.  

“Alright, I can almost see this magic view of yours. Come help me up. And you better not fondle my butt as you do”. 

Louis laughed as he slowly stepped up behind her, centering himself on the stepladder while he draped an arm around her waist. 

“I don’t make no promises.” 

“If so you owe me two kicks of my leg instead of one.” 

Louis carefully positioned himself and hoisted her up. It was easier than Clementine would have thought, sometimes being short and not weighing much had its advantages. Three seconds later she was out of the window, and noticed how Louis at the last moment was pressing his hand against her butt for the last push.

“Hey!” she said, but with a laugh as she lifted herself up and turned to help him up next. But Louis was taller than her and already had his arms over the frame and was was crawling out.

“I’m sorry, did you want to get out or not.” he said and managed a smile between his grunts, and Clementine leaned back while giving him space to hoist himself completely out. 

  “I told you I’m like a ninja.” he winked at her while carefully positioning himself on the roof as she had just done not to lose his footing. 

“I’m pretty sure ninjas don’t use stepladders.”

“That you know of.” 

Clementine smiled and looked around. She had been worried if Louis was taking her out on a steep part of the roof, there was no way she could safely keep up her footing with a peg leg. But he had no doubt considered this, and they had come out on a level part of the roof. 

Clementine peeked down at the drop some 20 feet below her, leading to the school grounds splayed out in front of them, and she was surprised at how high up they actually were. A sudden wind ruffled her hair and made her jolt a little, worrying just how secure they were sitting on a worn wooden roof that she saw had various holes differing in size and witdth scattered about. 

Lost in her thought as she looked over the holes, she jolted again as Louis grabbed her arm, averting her attention to him. 

“We need to get a little higher. Just slowly climb after me.” 

“Louis...” 

“Or you can climb before me. If you’re comfortable that I’ll be looking at your butt if you do.” 

He smiled in amusement and gave a mock-apologetic look when she glared at him in return.

“Louis, please, I don’t really feel safe enough up here to appreciate your jokes.”

“I thought I was the scared one between us. I thought you weren’t afraid of anything? ‘you telling me you’re afraid of heights?” “When did I ever claim I’m not afraid of anything? But no, I’m not scared of heights, more like I’m scared of falling through this rotten roof that seems like it can cave at any minute, just like it’s already done at several places if you haven’t noticed.” “You just struck me as that badass, that’s all.” Louis smiled again and crouched to get in front of her, showing her the way they would go. 

“That’s why I told you to climb after me. I told you I’ve been up her before. The roof is sturdier than you think, it just got ruined by mold and weaker build at places.”

“Sure...” Clementine said with a slight shiver to her voice and got on her hands and knees to climb the slight steep after him, not at all being able to crouch on her peg leg. Thankfully the top of the roof was only another 15 feet ahead of them, and she breathed a bigger sigh of relief than she’d thought when they reached it. Louis slowly sat himself and reached out to pull her up the last inches, placing her next to him and holding onto her until she sat comfortably as well. 

Her leg decided to start aching a little after the climb, and Clementine felt exhausted and breathed heavily. Almost without thinking, she leaned against Louis for support. The freckled boy tensed up at her action, and Clementine felt a little embarrassed in the midst of her exhaustion. Was it an overly intimate thing to do between friends? She quickly leaned away again after a few seconds of considering it. 

“Sorry, I just... need to catch my breath.” 

“Hey, it’s... okay.” Clementine peeked at Louis to see him looking away while his cheeks had gone a little darker in color.  

Subly nodding to herself at what it implied, she finally looked ahead to take in the so-called fantastic view. Not that Louis had called it that, but with how they had struggled to get up here, she’d swear that’s what he thought it was. 

“So... I know I probably built it up a lot, but what do you think? Not too bad, right?” he queried next to her in time to accompany her thoughts. 

Clementine would be lying if she said she wasn’t a little impressed. They really were higher than she had thought; not only did they see the top of the trees, but beyond them too. The clouds had completely given way for the soft evening sun, and a gentle red light was bathing over the school and the surrounding greens. She saw mountaintops far away in the distance, and from up here, the gentle songs of evening birds were a lot clearer than from below. 

If it weren’t for her leg, Clementine thought, she definitely could see herself wanting to come up here more often to enjoy the peace and view. She better not tell Louis that as he would definitely tell her to ignore the leg and that he would help her up here anytime she wanted. There was no need to further burden him with stuff he did for her, regardless how much he claimed to not mind it. 

“It’s pretty... I’ll definitely give you that.” “”Pretty”...” Louis mimicked her and smiled as he leaned back and drew in the warm summer air. 

“I’ll take it.”

Clementine smiled in turn and leaned forward to rest her head in her knees, closing her eyes to listen to the bird song and soft rustling of trees. Amidst these sounds, she also listened to Louis’ quiet breathing next to her. She felt his presence mere inches from her, and a strange and content feeling spread inside her, as if it had been a good while since she had felt so at ease, so--- in the moment and safe. She strongly believed that Louis being next to her was a big reason for this, and she had to fight the urge to lean against him again. 

A part of Clementine wondered if Louis would ever try to make a move on her again, or if calling him her friend had permanently repelled him from it. She just knew that if he were to put his arm around her at this very moment, she would let him. 

A few minutes passed of the two just sitting in a silence they both found strangely comfortable, but no arm were draped around her. Clementine opened her eyes and peeked towards the schoolyard below them, and a thought came to her head that made her let out an amused “Hm” against her knees.

“What is it?”

“I was thinking... this place must really have looked nice at one point, didn’t it?”

Louis followed her gaze to the schoolyard below, and nodded as he leaned forwards to rest an arm on his knee. 

“Before all this... happened, you mean?... Yeah, yeah this place did look good. A lot less bushes and trees in the middle of the yard, that’s for sure.” Louis tried to recall the first impression he’d gotten from the school when he was first dropped off here eight years ago, but frankly, how massive and looming it seemed to his 10-year old self was more ingrained in his memory than how pretty and... non-apocalyptic it looked at the time (not like he had had anything to compare it with then). 

Thinking back to that day, however, it triggered another memory for Louis that made him quiet, and Clementine noticed and turned towards him to see a deep frown on his face, his lower lip slightly trembling, giving the impression that he suddenly was on the verge of tears.

“Louis...?” she shifted to face him more, a frown on her own face at this sudden shift in the mood. “Oh, it’s... nothing. I just...I wondered how long...” Louis cleared his throat and took a deep breath to calm his voice that suddenly shivered.  

“How long...?” 

“My parents.... I just wonder how long... how long they lasted. ... That’s all.”

“Oh...” Clementine felt her heart twist at the involuntary memory of her own parents erupting in her own mind. It startled her and she suppressed it the best she could, or else she might lose her composure right here in front of him. It had been a while since she had thought about them, but despite the years that had passed, it never seemed easier to do so. 

“It sucks.” she managed to say. “To think of, or see... your parents like that. It really fucking sucks.” 

Louis looked at her now, and in his expression she saw him remembering what she had said about her parents, her very first awake day at Ericson’s, and it turned to regret.

“I’m sorry, Clem... I didn’t mean to... bring that up...” “No, it’s okay.” she interrupted him. 

"You’re allowed to... talk about your parents. It’s okay.” she managed to give him a slight smile, and he studied her face as if to read if she was really fine with it. 

Clementine hadn’t said it outright, but the way she had said it, Louis wondered if she had seen her parents as walkers. He couldn’t imagine what a traumatizing experience that must have been, especially as she was most likely a child at the time. Louis could barely stand even imagining his parents like that, and felt the urge to throw up every time the image involuntarily creeped into his head. 

Had it at least been the only thing bothering him, he might have had a slightly easier time to learn to live with it, but the harsh truth was that it wasn’t. Memories of his past actions were there right alongside it to tear at his conscience and make him detest himself whenever they intruded too much.

The first tear breached his eye now, and Clementine widened her eyes at him.

“Louis... what...?”

The tear surprised him and he quickly looked away and wiped it.

“I’m sorry, Clem, I...” he breathed and raised his hand towards her in a ‘I’m fine’ motion, which she clearly didn’t buy. It was his biggest shame, but he had told her before, so Louis figured it was okay to bring it up again. He knew he wouldn’t get away with deflecting or lying to her anyway, so might as well be open. 

“Sometimes I just wonder... after what I did to them...” he paused and took another deep breath, feeling more tears pressing on his eyes. 

“I wonder if they thought of me and.... wanted to see me. In their last moments... Do you think they did...?”

“Louis...” Clementine felt her heart break for him and before she realized it, she had scooted a little closer and grabbed his hand. 

“Of course they did. They were your parents.”

“Yeah, they were my parents, alright.” Louis had looked down at where her hand clutched his, more of a natural reaction to the sudden touch than anything, and now looked back at her, and she saw what she thought was the saddest expression she had seen from him.  

“I sure wasn’t much of a son to them.”

“I’m sorry, Louis.” Clementine sighed and rubbed his hand, trying to think of what to say. 

“You know... it’s not the same, but... I kind of feel like a mom to AJ.” She met his eyes again and saw his brow furrow at the confusion of where she was going.

“I know that if he did something that really hurt me... well, I would probably still love him.”

“Probably?” Louis raised a mock-eyebrow at her, and she smiled and shook her head.

“Alright, I would definitely still love him. I might think he was being a little shit and, I don’t know, ground him for a year or something... but I would still love him.”

Louis nodded slightly and gazed intently into her eyes as if he was trying to see how truthful she was being, and Clementine suddenly got more self-conscious of her hand still holding onto his. She thought perhaps the topic had passed when she saw his smile drop again and eyes wandering to their hands.

“Even if he, I don’t know, ruined your marriage?”

Clementine wasn’t sure what to make of his expression, whether it was serious or if he meant it as some halfway joke, but she sighed in compassion and took it as an opportunity to remove her hand, only to gently cup his cheek with it, bringing his slightly startled gaze back to her. 

“That’s a very spesific situation, but yes... even if he ruined my marriage. ” Clementine looked him straight in the eye and hoped to convey how serious she was, before she thought she’d try to lighten the mood and hoped he’d welcome it.

“Besides, who would I get married to these days anyway? ‘you have any suggestions?”

To her relief she saw him smile, and proceeded to get a mock-pondering expression on his face while she slowly removed her hand, waiting in genuine amusement at his answer. 

“Hmm, definitely that guy, what was his name... Gabe?” 

Clementine felt her cheeks flush in annoyance and lightly slapped his arm, which brought a genuine laughter from him. 

“Yup, based on your reaction, that was his name alright!”

“You shut your mouth. I told you Gabe was just a friend.” Clementine turned away in slight annoyance, but she couldn’t contain a small laugh herself at the improved mood she saw Louis in, despite it being at her expense. 

“Alright then, wait... didn’t you tell us that evening that you would marry Ruby? I’m so sorry, Clem, you must be heartbroken that Aasim beat you to wooing her.” 

His mood was clearly back as he playfully nudged her, and Clementine looked ahead at the sunset and just giggled an “Idiot.” at him. 

“I figured it out, I would marry one of those famous people you said must still be alive somewhere. It sure sounds convenient to hide in one of those giant mansions that probably still has a working jacuzzi and movie theater. Can you imagine?”

“Excellent point. Do you think whoever you’ll marry is into polygamy? I’d join as a second wife if it meant those perks and still hanging out with you.” 

Clementine snorted and hid her face in her knees, not wanting to laugh too loud at the dumb joke. 

“You’re unbelievable.” she said without looking up, trying to hide the giggle in her voice. 

“I try.” he said in a more soft tone all of a sudden, and surprised Clementine a little when she felt his hand gently stroke by her temple to brush some strains of hair away. She looked at him, which seemed to shake him out of the sudden urge to touch her and he pulled away, giving her an innocent smile and light shrug of his shoulders as if to say he hadn’t meant anything by it. 

“Do you, uh... do you want to get down at any time? Just let me know if you’re cold or... the leg starts hurting.” 

She saw him fidgeting and his cheeks had reclaimed a little of the rosy color from before.

“Hmm, soon.” she answered and looked ahead again. The sun wasn’t far from setting, but its last rays were still a warm pink and colored the roof where they sat. Clementine saw the border of the sunlight closing in on their legs as the schoolyard was covered in shadows below them, and she felt that serene state again, as if Louis and her were the last people the sun was shining on at this very moment. 

It was then she called out his name again. Clementine turned to meet Louis’ eyes where he still sat just a few inches from her, and when he faced her, she tried to read his expression for the emotion she so often thought she saw that he likely was trying to hide. 

“Yeah...?” 

She thought it was there. He smiled that rare smile that had no playfulness or teasing to it, it was simply warm and genuine, and he looked directly at her with eyes that spoke a gentleness she couldn’t put her finger on. Like he would look at her like that and no one else. At least she liked to believe that.

“Why don’t you kiss me?”

She saw the world spinning in those eyes now. The dark orbs widened and Louis’ jaw slightly dropped. Clementine bit her lip and saw his brow furrow as he stared at her, eyes darting as he looked for a sign in her expression to tell him she was joking.

“... what?”

She had to hold back a giggle at the usual smooth-talker’s first choice of word being that, but how could she blame him?

“You heard me.”

Clementine wasn’t sure where this boldness came from. There was just something that told her not to be afraid with Louis and that she could trust her instinct about his feelings. She just hoped she hadn’t completely misread him which of course... was a possibility. 

“Do you...” he managed to say before pausing as he looked down and cleared his throat, and if Clementine wasn’t sure he had blushed before, he sure was now.  

“Do you... want me... to kiss you?”

It was Clementine’s turn to blush as he looked straight at her now with that question. His expression was soft, almost desperate all of a sudden, as if some front he had kept till now dropped with her request. It shook her a little and made her cheeks even hotter. Clementine was determined not to falter out of her confidence, however. She swallowed her nerves and reached towards him. 

 “Yes...” she whispered. Even inches away, she saw his eyes, vulnerable and tender, studying her to really ensure himself she was being serious.

It was Clementine’s turn to be surprised, then, at how sudden his lips crashed onto hers. 

A brief contact at first. Clementine barely got to close her eyes before he pulled away again. His nose brushed against hers and half-lidded eyes bore into hers, his cheeks flushed a dark red. 

He’s still insecure...

Clementine realized she had to convince him better. 

She leaned forward to make their lips meet again, giving the softest of moans as she did.

It seemed to be the go-ahead Louis had needed. He quickly and eagerly returned her kiss now. Clementine found his hands cupping her head to hold her in place, which made her giggle under his lips before she sank into the moment and parted them to invite him further in. He dropped one hand to cup her waist, to which she answered by letting one hand caress at his thigh. 

The seconds passed as they moved their lips against one another, when the franticness of it overwhelmed Louis and he pulled away again. He breathed shakily while he stared disbelievingly into the amber eyes of this girl he had wanted to kiss for so long but had settled that it wouldn’t happen. He wanted to pinch himself.  

“I...”he spoke up, trying to collect himself not to say something stupid to ruin it. “... guess I need to take you up here more often?”

Wow, good job.

That made Clementine laugh. A shy, adorable laugh that made him want to grab her right back into another kiss, but he managed to restrain himself, and she scooted a few inches away while still holding onto his hand that rested in her lap now. 

“No, you don’t.” She still smiled and bit her lip while her insides somersaulted with butterflies. 

That was... not bad for a first kiss. she sheepishly thought to herself. She was still a little stunned at the brief passion he’d displayed and how he’d held her, and her heart still drummed in her chest and made it hard to keep eye contact with him for long. 

“We can... um, go down now. ... If it’s okay by you...”

“Uh... sure!” Louis was shook out his own stunned state and said that a little too loud, making him blush even more if it was possible. When he saw Clementine begin to move, however, the freckled boy couldn’t help himself and reached out to grab her wrist, prompting her to meet his eyes again.

“I know I’m... such a dork for saying this, but... promise me I can still kiss you when we get down?”

Clementine laughed softly again. Was it possible to be this cute? She gave him the second shock of the evening by leaning forward to kiss him yet again.  

Nose still touching his, she returned his gaze once more and sighed in near bliss. 

“I promise.” 

-------------

[doodle17]

In the Psychonauts Future AU, did Lili have just 0 contact with the Psychonauts besides her father? Did she stay in contact like with Dogen or Elka or any of the superstar agents?

I think it'd be fascinating/funny to have a few characters that aren't Raz still have contact with her, cause like... family/childhood friendship.

Oh yeah, she stayed in contact with a lot of people, especially Dogen!

Im actually working on a few scribbles with the two and a couple of other people she's been hanging around in her older age

As for Elka, things are kind of on and off. Elka's prideful and vain personality clashes with Lilis moody attitude, and the two cannot seem to get along for very long. They're still, acquainted, in a way.

There's also Franke and Kitty! They both visit Lili sometimes to help her dye and cut her hair. They're all a bit rebellious in their older years, they kind of have their own little group who trash talk the Psychonauts. Even though Kitty works at the little hair salon at the Mother Lobe...

And she does in fact visit the Psychonauts somewhat often to pick up Luca, Sasha and Millas kid. And she does talk to those two whenever she gets a chance, along with visiting her uncles. But she never stays long, only stops by to say a quick "hello" and leave as soon as she can before Clem or Chrystal try to convince her to join the Psychonauts with a deafening cheer for the 5th time.