#it is ACTUALLY just straight up dead by modern times btw

[corvarrow]

I am busy with some stuff this week, but randomly, have this older piece of art! :V This was of a cosmic wyrm (This one is named "Thynarail"), which are worshipped as deities, mostly by shapeshifters. It does have a bunch of shelf fungus on it. I still really like this picture, although I honestly think the design could stand to be weirder!

[nexadarling]

Trigun Explicit Recs!

So it turns out there are too many good fics in this fandom and I maxed out the amount of links allowed in a single post (it's 100 btw) so I decided to split the E rated stuff from everything else, cause it makes sense to me.

I offer you my list of smut! Most of which will also give you so many emotions cause what is Vashwood with out self-loathing and biblical references. I tried to tag all the authors who have tumblrs, but if I missed someone pls tag them/let me know!

Any fic that features "+" after the word count is on-going/uncompleted. As they finish, I will add the final word count.

Check the tags yall!!!

(Non-explicit rec page)

so i'll sing to the grave (put you back together) by desertblooms - 18k; Vashwood; E; Canon-verse; Wolfwood doesn't feel worthy to touch Vash, so Vash shows him that's not true

la petite mort by @babeyxiao-art and expertfool - 3k; Vashwood; E; Trimax; look this is just straight smut involving a gun. If you're not into that i would highly advise you do not read this. If you are tho..... it did something to my brain chemistry for sure

Trillium and Ivy by @shastafirecracker - 80k; Vashwood; E; Modern AU; Funeral Director Wolfwood; Garden Center Vash; Wolfwood works at a funeral home across from the garden center, and notices the cute co-owner; this one is a personal favorite it makes me feel insane if I think about it too long

you'll never get enough by tagteamme ( @phaltu) - 19k; Vashwood; E; Modern AU - Boxer/Gym; Wolfwood owns a gym that is under Nai's thumb, Vash is a regular at the gym and should be off limits; I have read this at least twice and it occasionally haunts my dreams

Within Us An Orchard by plumtoad - 13k; Vashwood; E; Vash is a sad plant boi, so Wolfwood cheers him up feat. fruit

Amarillo Sky by just_a_lil_shipmate - 15k; Vashwood; E; Cowboy/Angel AU; Vash makes Wolfwood realize maybe he's not better off alone

i’m here in search of your glory (there’s been a million before me) by @sascake - 22k; Vashwood; E; Post-Trimax fix it feat. Wolfwood's entire orphanage

Your Beauty Never, Ever Scared Me by Sacramental_Wine - 5k; Vashwood; E; Wolf shifter!Wolfwood (if you've ever seen Wolf's Rain it's like that); Vash helps an injured wolf, the next morning a man shows up at his door

if you were church (I’d get on my knees) by iokanaan - 18k; Vashwood; E; T4T; Actual Priest Wolfwood, feat. trimax Vashwood as guardian angels (I have no excuse for this one but it goes really hard)

someone to last your whole life by catchatter ( @needlab7) - 73k; Vashwood; E; Post-Trimax fix it, with deep attention to the realities of mourning and what it means to have mourned someone who is no longer dead; genuinely one of the most beautiful things I have ever read

to control against the pull by catchatter ( @needlab7) - 13k; Vashwood; E; A/B/O; "Wolfwood tries to help out the bro and gets consumed with The Longing"; It is my personal mission to make everyone read this. Please, even if you don't like omegaverse just give it a chance I am begging you

CAUSE OF DEATH (See instructions and examples) by neatrogenous ( @floofyfluff) - 39k; Vashwood; E; Post-Trimax fix it, but Vash runs faster than the Flash from every single Emotion he's ever had (body horror cw for the first chapter)

Gun Barrel Red Hot by varelsen ( @cloudstrifing) - 17k; Vashwood; E; plant heat plant heat plant heat plant hea-

Strange Powers by @tenshinokorin - 5k; Vashwood; E; they accidentally get high and fuck about it; I laughed my ass off reading this, pls, it's so good

when your stitch comes loose by @starkillling - 4k; Vashwood; E; Vashwood's relationship with Vash's wings

End Racism in the OTW | a kind heart to haunt by littleghost ( @ghostlandtoo) - 20k; Vashwood; E; Cowboy/Western AU; Wolfwood is an outlaw, Vash left that life a long time ago and doesn't want to get wrapped up in it again

you tear down my reason by halfdemonvash - 8k; Vashwood; E; .... trimaxVashwood/stampedeVashwood; yeah it's selfcest, i'm not sorry about it, it's so fucking good

Bind Your Faith in Scars and Tape by just_a_lil_shipmate - 8k; Vashwood; E; Modern AU - College; Vash pines after Wolfwood, and then properly falls for him when they're forced to spend time in the university greenhouse regularly; Meryl is my favorite

blood in the badlands by eviscerates - 34k; Vashwood; E; Vampire Vash/Vampire Hunter Wolfwood on NML; the Eye of Michael is a hunter group, Wolfwood is not supposed to have feelings for Vash

the sun is warm (i miss your smile) by mor (mornin) ( @bakubaji) - 12k; Vashwood; E; also Vamp Vash/Vamp Hunter Wolfwood but this time modern AU, and Wolfwood is independent instead of with EoM

you're a canary (i'm a coal mine) by PotatoButt ( @rubyredgh0st) - 32k; Vashwood; E; Modern AU; Zoo keeper Vash; Orphanage Worker Wolfwood; Wolfwood brings his kids to see the tomas show, but sometimes he comes alone to watch the cute handler; Brad is so protective here I love him actually

The Lighthouse by EloFromMars - 51k; Vashwood; E; Lighthouse guy Wolfwood; Eldritch Horror Vash; legitimate lovecraftian level eldritch horror but like.... Vash is still a baby girl and Wolfwood is still into it; honorary mention for Kuroneko

try my hardest (if you ask me to) by nbagenda - 15k; Vashwood; E; the team stays at Ship 3, and Wolfwood has Feelings about everything being so clean (and so much gay panic about Vash); this one uses he/they interchangeably for Vash which I really really love

water supply by outdoorcats - 9k; Vashwood; E; they get wine drunk and get like emotionally horny

perfect world by outdoorcats - 8k; Vashwood; E; sequel to above fic; less drunk but more (beautifully) emotional; "What if we ran away and got married" vibes

today, and all of the days by @pushclouds - 24k; Vashwood; E; Modern AU; Vash owns a donut shop, Wolfwood owns a smoke shop/bar; Vash doesn't realize they're definitely dating

My Body's Moving Into Retrograde by Sacramental_Wine - 3k; Vashwood; E; Wolfwood makes Vash want something for himself for once

dance in our catastrophe by @pushclouds - 28k; Vashwood; E; Post-Trimax fix it; Wolfwood and Vash are stuck in a safe house together, what could possibly go wrong?!; Wolfwood's inner monologue in this is so delightful and sad

welcome to the beautiful place by @pinklicour - 7k; Vashwood; E; Vash watches Wolfwood interact with a kid for too long and has Feelings about it, turns out Wolfwood feels the same

i think that we should go and get you out of here by molotovhappyhour - 39k; Vashwood; E; Exorcist Wolfwood AU; Wolfwood travels to July to help rid them of a haunting that's taken root there for years, Vash is, of course, at the center of it

I'd Get Rid of the Sun in Favor of the Moonshine by FlowerFed - 22k; Vashwood; E; Modern AU - Coffeeshop/Cafe; Milly asks Vash to vouch for her ex so he can get a job at the same cafe as him, Vash meets a handsome stranger at the beach; surely there is no connection between these events...

Trial and error by Anonymous - 10k; Vashwood; E; Vash has freaky plant parts and is pretty sure he can't orgasm, but he's happy to be with Wolfwood however he wants! Wolfwood is determined to prove Vash wrong; Literally cannot get enough of unconventional, incompatible plant stuff for Vash, so this was very fun

Saturdays at 6 p.m. by maginot - 42k; Vashwood; E; Modern AU; Vash reaches out to professional Dom Wolfwood to ask if he's taking on new subs. Wolfwood realizes he's fucked as soon as Vash walks through his front door; Okay yes this is kinky in the sense that it is an actual, structured BDSM relationship, but it's actually not the kinkiest thing on here??? It is absolutely delightfully spicy and sweet though. And watching Wolfwood fall apart about actually falling for Vash is so fucking GOOD; also vash's pain kink has me on the fucking floor dear god

when I picture you by @pinklicour - 5k; Vashwood; E; Modern AU - College; This is just a silly little fic about Vashwood hooking up, but Wolfwood's pining is so precious and I've reread the scene where they actually become a couple several times cause it makes me so happy

a tide of tender mercies by @gloriousporpoise - 23k; Vashwood; E; Wolfwood and Vash are on the run after July, chasing bounties; Wolfwood finds himself in a bad way without his serum and gets taken care of (ha, take that, WW!); I'm a sucker for Wolfwood pining hoplessly after Vash and this is just the perfect mix of pining and his snark

sugar rush by corvidcaper ( @not-miss-marple) - 42k; Vashwood; E; Modern AU; Vash owns a candy shop; Friends with benefits to lovers; Everyone knows their dating except the two of them, and goddamn does Wolfwood try to keep it casual; Spoiler, it is anything but casual lol

At the Top of the World by Insomniac_with_dreams - 35k; Vashwood; E; Cowboy AU; Wolfwood follows a help-wanted ad and finds himself at the Saverem ranch for the summer. He gets... more than he bargained for; God above please read this it's so beautiful and heartfelt and wonderful and they love each other so much fuck

four suns by Joelene - 31k; Vashwood; E; Trimax Vashwood and Tristamp Vashwood meet in the middle of the desert!!; This is genuinely very cute as well as hot, I reread this immediately after finishing it lol Trimax Vashwood being competitive and then getting lost in themselves is so precious; Wolfwood begging will always be my downfall; They all fuck, but they don't fuck each other. Like each version Vashwood stays together. They do all make out with their own alternative versions, so do with that what you will I guess

Strawberries & Cigarettes by Umbr_el_on - 71k; Vashwood; E; Modern AU - Tattoo shop/Flower shop; "No, seriously, Livio, it's just casual, it doesn't mean anything, stop"; several days later: *calls Livio crying about how much Vash makes him feel*; and that's it that's the fic; I like that they're both broken and fucked up here, and they make mistakes and piss each other off, but they continue to choose to try together. It just makes me really happy. They aren't perfect but they're perfect together

Daylily by @needlesknives (bakusboi) - 10k+; Vashwood; E; Modern AU - Tattoo shop; Vash comes to Wolfwood wanting to get his scarring covered with tattoos, Wolfwood realizes this project entails a lot more than he anticipated. In several ways

Ascension Day by farseersfool ( @birdadjacent) - 26k; Vashwood; E; Modern AU (but still Plant powers); Wolfwood is a hitman hired by Nai to protect Vash. Surely keeping his mark as close as physically possible is only the logical thing to do. Right? Right.

Holding My Breath by @nekotachis - 9k; Vashwood; E; Canon-verse; Vash tells Wolfwood he's never been on a date, so Wolfwood takes him on one. Feelings are definitely not had during said date

sun comin' up by amaiyo - 23k; Vashwood; E; Mermaid AU; Modern AU; Wolfwood is a priest assigned to a tiny island, and sometimes he stands on the pier at night to listen to the strange songs on the ocean wind

you'll leave me lonely at best by @procrastinating-bookworm - 3k; Vashwood; E; Post-Badlands Rumble; You know the fucking drill, it's time for some widow Wolfwood reunion sex; God I love the way this fandom explores the hell Wolfwood went through before Vash pops back up like "Jk guys, I'm not dead!"

Long Goodbyes by ChenamaReel - 17k; Vashwood; E; Trimax; After the Arc and before the orphanage, Vash and Wolfwood talk about the what-ifs of the future. With the knowledge of their respective missions, their normal flirting banter turns to something more real

song of solomon 4:7 by ellisisntreal - 68k; Vashwood; E; Modern AU; Trans Vash; A cute new neighbor moves in across from Wolfwood, one who he quickly realizes is the hottest DILF ever and exactly his type; listen. LISTEN! This is so good, Vash's kid is 13, so he's old enough to be funny and snarky, Vash and Wolfwood's banter is amazing, and scenes with all three of them (and eventually Livio) are actually so funny I was wheezing. Idk how you write dialog so real and hilarious, but I had a grand fucking time

I know I'm gonna die of this by @orcelito - 13k; Vashwood; E; T4T; Vash doesn't like to be touched during sex. He does, however, desperately want to fuck Wolfwood. Wolfwood shows him exactly how much he appreciates it; THE Strap Fic; the fact that this is part of a series based on Nothing But Thieves' song Impossible has me incredibly fucked up; Nico, darling, thank you for writing this, it was delightful

Nothing Left to Hide by GGumdrops - 7k; Vashwood; E; Wing fic wing fic wing fic; Vash is clearly uncomfortable but doesn't want to tell Wolfwood why. When he finally convinces Vash to show him, he preens his wings for him

geoplant medicinals by @avoidingavoidance - 11k; Vashwood; E; Tristamp; Wolfwood accidentally gets soooo fucking high. Vash joins him and they have some frankly awesome sex; Wolfwood spends this whole fic being sickeningly in love with his boyfriend and thinking about how pretty Vash is and I love it

with the same sweet shock of when Adam first came by feelingfoxylmao - 12k; Vashwood; E; Modern AU- BDSM Scene; Wolfwood fucks up at the BDSM club and Vash (consensually and pre-scripted) teaches him his lesson; Dom Vash, Sub Wolfwood, Vash makes Wolfwood bark, what more could I possibly say to make you want to read this??? It's wonderful; slight secondhand embarrassment warning for the beginning where Wolfwood fucks up, but it's worth getting through, trust me

like the holding of hands (like the breaking of glass) by @flowercitti - 10k; Vashwood; E; Tristamp; Vash wakes up after the sandsteamer and faces Wolfwood's full knowledge of his inhumanness; (spoilers WW still thinks Vash is beautiful)

Little Pieces of the Nothing that Fall by starkstateofmind - 5k; Vashwood; E; Tristamp; it rains and Vash manic pixie dream girls himself into bed with Wolfwood; i kinda stared at a wall for a little after reading this, it's really beautiful I might also be a manic pixie dream girl

Sing Pretty Melodies on the Motel Bed by @amphetamine-keen - 5k; Vashwood; E; Trimax vibes; Wolfwood convinces Vash to try a vaginal plug; this is just smut but I did read it at least twice. idk what that says about me, but it does say that it's a good fic

Wildflowers by @shastafirecracker - 103k; Vashwood; E; Dark Fantasy AU; cottagecore; Trans Wolfwood; Wolfwood is sent to kill the Beast Lord of the forest and gets far more than he bargained for; dear fucking God please read this holy shit I cannot overstate how good the world building is

in the woods somewhere by halfdemonvash - 42k; Vashwood; E; Fantasy AU; cottagecore; Vash finds Wolfwood injured in his forest and takes him to his home to nurse him back to health. Wolfwood... kinda really loves it. Even if he wasn't entirely there on accident

waking up in vegas by kae_karo - 17k; Vashwood; E; Modern AU; They wake up married to each other in Vegas after a night they barely remember. They try to track down the chapel they got married in, but kinda don't wanna undo it by the end of the day

laughter lines by @beesinspades - 21k; Vashwood; E; Modern AU; Ace Vash; Grey Ace Wolfwood; Knives sends Wolfwood to bring Vash back to him. Vash doesn't want to go. Wolfwood kind of doesn't want to make him; crying go read this i love it so much all of Bee's stuff brings me such joy

Pillow Talk by fantasy_stupid - 47k; Vashwood; E; Modern AU; Nai sends Wolfwood to secretly trail Vash and make sure he's safe while Nai is gone. Vash clocks him immediately and they try to make the best of it; bodyguard Wolfwood you have my heart and soul

Citronella by @canyondotcom - 58k; Vashwood; E; Modern AU; Vampire AU; Creature Vash; Woodworker Wolfwood; Wolfwood wakes up in the middle of the night to something--no, someone on his porch. Against his better judgement, he lets them in... Things get... Interesting; Uuggggghhhhh God this is so good I love creature Vash and the vampire lore is so unique and non-traditional I love it so much

take my breaking heart (and tear it all apart) by johnnyfucksup - 12k; Vashwood; E; Wolfwood tries not to let himself want. Enter Vash, who ruins those plans

just a holy fool by @avoidingavoidance - 19k; Vashwood; E; Tristamp; Wolfwood is so upset about how much of a soft spot he has for Vash and Vash somehow makes it worse all the time always; sure Wolfwood, we all believe that you're annoyed with Vash and not stupidly in love with him

A Step By Step Guide to Love and Peace, Written by Vash Saverem (Co-Authored by Friends, Family, and Nicholas D. Wolfwood) by calandos - 71k; Vashwood; E; Modern AU - Fleabag; Trans Vash; Priest Wolfwood; It's fucking.... it's a fleabag AU idk how much harder I call sell this I clicked immediately when I saw the tag; yeah, it has the confession scene; this made me want to cry. I may have actually cried; god I relate to Vash so much

Late Night Confessional by ValiantRose ( @sleepyartcryptid) - 12k; Vashwood; E; Modern AU I think?; Trans Wolfwood; Priest Wolfwood; Vash comes to confess his sins... the fic then earns it's place on the explicit rec list

giving in to your fever touch by honeyseeking - 46k; Vashwood; E; Trimax/98; Wolfwood finds Vash as Eriks and gives him three days to make up his mind; *violently shaking this fic* it's so full of emotions

I'm not a Psycho (I'm Just Trying to Get Laid) by @inkfishie - 34k; Vashwood; E; Tristamp; Various times Vash and Wolfwood have... encounters. Feat. Vash's emotions and awkwardness; this is so cuteeee

in love with my own sins by spicecandy ( @gaycowboyjesus) - 15k; Vashwood, Vash/Vash, Wolfwood/Wolfwood; E; Trimax VW meet Tristamp VW; listen the everything between everyone is so good but the romantic tension between Tristamp VW is so cute

Give Me Mercy No More. by hollyleighannee ( @wytchsbrew) - 14k; Vashwood; E; Modern AU; Bodyguard Wolfwood; During a sandstorm, Vash spends a special night with his secret boyfriend; OH MAN OH GOD WOW; first of all this Wolfwood... I gotta go sit down for a second, damn; the sex is hot, but the emotions are hotter Wolfwood is so careful to give Vash everything he wants and cares so much they are both so in love; Holly your fics give me so much joy, I'm so sorry for decimating your notifications

a softer world by Harubo ( @helloharubo) - 2k; Vashwood; E; Modern AU; Painter Vash; Doctor Wolfwood; Reincarnation vibes; Wolfwood has regular dreams of Vash where he's covered in scars and full of a deep, aching sadness. When he wakes up, he needs his husband to reassure him he's still in one piece

Where The Delicate Stops (Show Me) by @nexadarling - 10k; Vashwood; E; Trimax; Creature Vash; Predator/Prey; Wolfwood sets off Vash's competitive nature and gets chased through the woods. He likes it more than expected; shameless self-plug, I'm just real proud of this one

save a horse by ofxanadu - 37k+; Vashwood; E; Western AU; Trans Vash; Wolfwood saves Vash from getting mugged by the Badlands Gang and has a night so memorable he's hung up on it for almost a year when Vash shows up again; i cannot even put into words my thoughts on this fic I'm just making feral sounds about how much I love it

la vache! by @skittidyne - 28k+; Vashwood; E; Modern AU - Sex Work; Sex Worker Vash; Trans Vash; Wolfwood needs to learn French very quickly since he promised Livio he would. He finds his solution in Vash's... unique way of teaching (it might involve dildos); I'm rabid over the fact there are not more chapters of this

honeysuckle red by @beelzebby666 - 43k+; Vashwood; E; Modern AU; Line Cook Wolfwood (yes it's important shut up); A one night stand turns into Wolfwood spending so much time with Vash and his fucking garden (why does he like bees so much I love him????); Wolfwood just wants to be kept. He just wants to be kept!!!

If you know me no you don't!

Come tell me your opinions about all of these my DMs are open I promise

[honorthysalad]

Some people on tiktok are saying they feel hgns is turning into queerbaiting, because in 25-1 yoshiki is basically the reincarnation of the wife that was brought back to life and so its like the 2 of them are just the modern day equivalents of the husband and the wife, whats your thoughts on this? I probably didn't explain it very well but do you think the story is also going to take that direction or do you think its an over reaction ? I don't have the best analysis abilities so i was curious what you thought

I'm going to preface that I have not seen the original video making this point, and so I am working off talking points I've seen other people using.

I think hgsn has always had a problem with this. Not queerbaiting, but instead that when people are recommended this manga by other people, they are told it's a horror BL. Hgsn is not a BL. It was, but then after chapter 3, Mokumokulen removed the BL tags, and the official website where hgsn is hosted has not had it listed as a BL for a long time. It is currently listed as outsider, horror/bizarre, mystery/thriller. However, English sites continue to list it as a BL, probably for lack of an LGBT tag. Hgsn has not been a BL in a long time, and while yes, the pilot (<- btw the pilot has no bearing on the current manga. A lot of things have been changed from the pilot aside from the BL elements) and first three chapters have a lot of BL signaling, Mokumokulen has clearly changed their mind on having a romance between Yoshiki and 'Hikaru'.

Does this make it queerbaiting? I'd say no because the characters are still visibly queer. There have definitely been retcons, but Yoshiki being gay has gone unchanged. I've seen a few people pointing to Ch21 as proof that Yoshiki is heterosexual because when he looks at 'Hikaru's collarbone, he says "I don't feel anything in particular anymore". I feel the important part of that being is 'anymore', meaning he once did. This part of the chapter is a reflection on their sexualities, wherein 'Hikaru' tells Yoshiki he doesn't understand romantic or sexual attraction and Yoshiki, while he refuses to say outright, isn't straight. He was attracted to Hikaru's body and says he has feelings for Hikaru that 'Hikaru' wouldn't understand. This chapter makes it clear that Yoshiki is gay and 'Hikaru' is aromantic and asexual. They are still queer characters, the story is still fundamental a queer story of feeling othered in a small town and the terror of discovering your sexuality, and not having a romantic relationship between Yoshiki and 'Hikaru' doesn't take away from that.

I think an important part of queerbaiting is that despite being promised queer characters, the media has none or features them very little. Think of The Rise of Skywalker where the queer representation the director claimed was in the movie during press interviews is actually a kiss between two women limited to a background shot in a crowd shot. That two-second scene wasn't representative of anyone, was hidden away in the background, but then touted as a LGBT+ representation because the directors and company wanted the movie to be seen as progressive. That's queerbaiting and that's definitely not what hgsn is doing. Queerbaiting is not expecting a romantic relationship to develop between two characters and never having it actualized in canon. That's just being disappointed, which is still reasonable but not really grounds to accuse the author of something greater.

(I'm not going to touch much on that ancestors point. I think that Yoshiki actually being straight because he has the soul of a woman is a strange conclusion to come to, especially when we don't know if he even is a reincarnation of Hichi yet, and has really weird implications. And then the original sin being trying to bring someone back from the dead is the only thing that makes sense narratively because the danger of refusing to accept death as a natural part of life is a key theme in hgsn.)

So to just wrap it all up- is changing your mind mid-story about the genre messy? yeah, definitely. Is hgsn perfectly written? no- oh my god, no. Is hgsn queerbaiting? No, because Mokumokulen might have changed their mind on a romance, but they did not change their mind on having queer characters, and non-romantic stories of queer people are still important stories to tell.

And then if you disagree with people who are disappointed that hgsn isn't a BL, don't just start insulting them or their intelligence. They were picking up on exactly what the author wanted them to at the time. The introduction sets up the tone for everything that follows and hgsn changed its mind mid-introduction. Being told by the manga 'look at all these romantic implications!' and then a few chapters later getting told 'actually nvm' is going to be confusing for any reader. I think mokumokulen has put a lot of work into making this a gradual change (the real breakdown of a possible romantic relationship comes in vol2's bonus chapter and concludes in ch21), but it doesn't removed what was already there in the first chapters. And like- if you don’t like someone’s take, block them. Easy way to not see takes from them anymore. Or just like ignore it. Complain to a friend about it. Draft up a reply and delete it. No need to be a dick to them.

[terpia]

Early Modern Drama Rec List (Non-Shakespeare)

So I just spend a year reading a lot of early modern drama and I thought I might as well put my degree to a good use and make a list of some of my favourite lesser known (i.e. not written by Shakespeare) early modern plays. All of these plays are in the public domain, so it should be very easy to find them online.

Comedies:

The Roaring Girl by Thomas Middleton and Thomas Dekker - a fictional story featuring a dramatized portrayal of a real person, Mary Firth, also known as Moll Cutpurse. Moll was a notorious pickpocket, wore a doublet and breeches, smoked a pipe, cursed, and was generally infamous for her 'mannish' behaviour. And she's a character in this play!

It is open to interpretation how positive the play's depiction of Moll really is, but she does play a very important role in getting the main pair of lovers together and ends the play happily continuing to live her life the way she wants, which is in itself pretty incredible. Overall, just a really fun read.

Galatea (or Gallathea) by John Lyly - a 16th century play that is both gay and trans??? Sign me up! In a village where the fairest virgin needs to be sacrificed to Neptune every 5 years (or he'll drown everyone), two fathers decide to disguise their beautiful daughters as boys and hide them in a nearby forest. While wandering around the forest the two girls meet and, falling for each other's disguises, fall in love. In the end (spoilers for the ending, but this is not exactly a play you read for the plot, lol), Diana stops Neptune, the two girls find out each other's true identities and decide they're still in love, and Venus turns one of them (we never find out which one) into a boy so that they can get married.

As must be clear from this summary, this comedy plays around with gender a lot. To add to the gender cocktail, remember that the two girls would have been originally played by boys. Although the ending was seen as heteronormative by early queer critics, the emergence of trans criticism within queer theory has led to a lot of interesting readings of the play. Well worth a read.

(also, if you have a device on which you can play DVDs and some money to spare, consider buying a DVD of the Edward's Boys production of the play. Edward's Boys is a group that replicates the format of early modern boys' companies, with all roles in their productions being played by boys. I will admit, when I bought a DVD of their 2014 production of Galatea, I expected to watch a glorified high school performance, but it turned out to be so good. All the boy actors were amazing, way better at performing Shakespeare than a lot of Hollywood actors. This just straight-up felt like a professional theatre production, I highly recommend it.)

The Knight of the Burning Pestle by Francis Beaumont - I don't even know how to describe this play other than 'fantastic and fun'. A meta-theatrical city comedy, which starts with a pair of audience members (who were actually two dressed-up boy actors from the boys' company performing the play) jumping onto a stage and demanding to see a different play than the the one being set up. Things get only wilder from there.

A genuinely really funny play. I don't know of anyone who has read it and hasn't immediately loved it.

The Sea Voyage by John Fletcher and Philip Massinger - one of the least well known plays out of this list, which is unfortunate because this play is really fun. Short and sweet, it's a story of a bunch of (surprisingly honorable) pirates, who get shipwrecked on an island inhabited by a tribe of Amazon-like women. Predictably, hijinks ensue. An interesting look into early modern gender relations (apparently the main reason why living without men would be difficult for women is because of how horny they would get? I think Fletcher and Massinger need to take a lesson or two from Lyly).

The Alchemist by Ben Jonson - want to see three assholes con a bunch of idiots in increasingly ridiculous ways? Then this is the play for you.

Jonson's city comedies, which satirize the people of early modern London, tend to be much meaner in tone than Shakespeare's comedies and the other comedies on this list, but in many ways, that's what makes them fun. Viciously clever and at times really funny, there's an edge to the writing that makes it very entertaining. I had a lot of fun reading this (Jonson's Epicoene is also great, if you want a comedy that's even meaner and also has some very questionable gay stuff in it).

Tragedies:

Doctor Faustus by Christopher Marlowe - probably the most famous non-Shakespeare early modern play, and for a good reason. It has everything; pacts with the devil, a melodramatic anti-hero protagonist, homoeroticism (I mean of course, it's Marlowe), and a suitably gory and tragic ending. What more can you ask for?

The Tragedy of Mariam by Elizabeth Cary - this play is more interesting than fun, but I think it's still well worth a read. It's the first original play written in English by a woman. The play takes place in ancient Palestine. It looks at the way Mariam, a Jewish queen, reacts to the news of the death of her husband, the tyrannous Herod (yes, the baby-killing guy from the Bible). Most people seem to be relieved. Except oops, Herod is not actually dead.

A fascinating look at gender ideology in the early modern period, with the play centering around the conflict of a woman who tries to live up to the ideals of a perfect wife and woman, while stuck in a marriage to a tyrant. This play would also be a great read for anyone interested in how gender and sexuality intersected with race in early modern England, because this play uses a lot of racialized language to describe women.

The Duchess of Malfi by John Webster - a classic revenge tragedy. A recently widowed Duchess wants to marry her steward, but her asshole brothers throw a fit. Intrigue and death ensue. At one point a fake wax hand and some fake wax corpses appear on stage.

This play basically reads like a good thriller. Fucked up in a way that only an early modern revenge tragedy can be, this is a fun and thrilling read.

The Changeling by Thomas Middleton and William Rowley - speaking of fucked up. If you're planning to read it, be mindful that this play contains sexual assault. It's a story of a young noblewoman called Beatrice, who wants to get rid of her fiancé after falling in love with a visiting nobleman. To do it, she enlists the help of her villainous servant De Flores. Things end up going extremely badly.

This play can get very uncomfortable at times, but just like The Duchess, it's as gripping as any good modern thriller. Very engaging. The ending is as engrossing as it is stomach-churning, although probably not for the reasons it was originally meant to (reading criticism about The Changeling, it is genuinely shocking and disheartening to see how long it took for critics to start addressing the clear issues of consent in the play). The story also includes a bizarre virginity test that uses a potion which makes you drowsy or which makes you sneeze and laugh depending on whether you had sex or not, so hey, at least that's fun?

Antonio's Revenge by John Marston - ok, so this is definitely the least... good of the plays I've recommended so far, but listen. Do you like trainwrecks? Do you like violence so over-the-top that people to this day wonder whether it's actually supposed to be a parody of the revenge tragedy genre? Are you looking for a reading experience that will make you go 'what the fuck' throughout? If so, this is the play for you!

Very much in the so bad it's good category. Ridiculously gory. The only thing that makes it better is knowing that it was originally played by children (on a related note, I haven't seen this production, but I know that this play has also been played by Edward's Boys). If you like horrible, gory horror movies, you'll probably enjoy this play.

That's it for now! Hopefully at least a few of these plays catch your interest.

Btw, LibriVox, which is an organisation that makes public domain recordings of public domain texts, has most of these plays available as free audiobooks, if you're interested!

[everlarkficquestions]

Sunday Stumped Day 35

It’s another Sunday Stumped Day!

Sometimes we straight out get stumped. So every few months we will pick a Sunday when we’ll post of a list of asks that we need your help on. 

In this round, we are focusing on asks for specific stories.   If your ask for a more general “type of” story is not included, it does not mean we are ignoring it, it just means we need more time to research and answer these asks. 

If  you know the answer to any of these asks please shoot us a message/  ask/  with the Post number and the fic details and we’ll add it and give you a shout out with our thanks.  Any links you can provide will also be super helpful.

Thanks!

Post 1 , Post 2 , Post 3, Post 4, Post 5, Post 6, Post 7, Post 8, Post 9, Post 10, Post 11, Post 12, Post 13, Post 14, Post 15, Post 16, Post 17, Post 18, Post 19, Post 20, Post 21, Post 22 , Post 23, Post 24, Post 25, Post 26,  Post 27, Post 28, Post 29 , Post 30, Post 31, Post 32, Post 33 and Post 34 can be found here - and there are still fics we need your help with.

576.  Anonymous said to everlarkficquestions:  Hi, I am searching everlarkfic that I read couple years ago in ff.net. Post mockingjay, Katniss and Peeta are getting married then when they’ll rebuild Peeta's family bakery, peeta got collapse and they find out that he was dying. In the end peeta died. Annie and Katniss's mother had to move Katniss to district 4 to taking care of her. In district 4, Katniss met with gale and they were slowly building relationships from there?

577. its-hopeless-romantic said to everlarkficquestions: Hey,I am looking for fic in which Peeta is Katniss's college professor (he is 10 years older than her) and they fall in love. He is teaching history of art and I remember he invited her to the opening of his galery. I remembre that he goes to Italy to teach for a few months and before that he introduces her to his family. I think it has 2 long chapters in second one there is his proposal. (It's called Lessons in Love or something like, but I can't find it)thanks 💕💕💕

578. alwayseverlark said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! Looking for a in Panem fic (I think no games) , where Peeta is working in the mines and an accident happens and Katniss is looking for him thinking he’s dead , but Gale thinks she wa s looking for him instead and when he realizes , he’s mad at Katniss.I am not sure if this is one fic... or if I’m mixing two different fics...Thansk!

579. stonyspideypool said to everlarkficquestions:I'm looking for a fanfic were I think katniss wants peeta to take control/be more dominant so she calls johanna and johanna tells her that peeta would never force himself on her and he has dealt with so much blue balls over the years that he's used to it or something (lmao) sorry that's all I remember 😅😅Love the page btw💙❤ literally its the only reason I'm on tumblr, thank you💕

580. amesielee said to everlarkficquestions:Hi I'm looking for a fanfic. It's either a one shot 2 shot or 3 shot and it's about Peeta and Katniss having sex. It's their first time and once it's over Peeta grabs a wash cloth for Katniss to help her out. She then gets mad and assumes he has done it before with Delly. I think Peeta didn't know it was her first time. And Peeta says maybe we are just good together. He then asks if she loves him. It's on Tumblr. I hope you can help xx

581. booksandeverlark said to everlarkficquestions:Hi there! Another story I remember reading but can’t think of the title. I know Leeta is older then Katniss. Peeta knew Katniss’ Parents and is their age. Katniss likes Peeta and Peeta keeps telling her he’s too old for her but she doesn’t care. They start to date and Katniss dad finds out before they can tell and eggs mad. I think Peeta also gets hurt protecting Katniss and how she reacts makes her dad see they are serious. Thanks so much for the help

582. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions:Trying to find a fic...modern au where katniss is with her friends (Annie Johanna Finnick Gale madge....) at a party and they find her the next morning in bed with Peeta?

(582) This could be I Dare You (To Stay) by Thewritershae - thank you @allie-rose

583. justanotherrandomaccount9999 said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! Do you know of a fic where it the story is about each time peeta ruins a cake? I read it before but forgot the title. The last time was when he made Katniss a cake for her birthday but dropped it when she said she was pregnant. Thanks for everything you've done for this fandom btw :)

584. pleasantturtletheorist-blog said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! So this might be a tricky one (bc I don’t remember much of the plot lol) but basically in this fic Peeta was like “don’t deny me post-sex cuddles” or something along those lines hahah. And I remember the scene being really cute but I can’t remember much else about it. I know this is very vague but if you could help I’d really appreciate it!! 🥺🥺

(584) This is possibly Blowout by Annieoakley1. - Thanks to @sunsetsrmydreams

585. yeeyeejones73 said to everlarkficquestions:Hello:) I was wondering if y’all know the name of a fic where it’s canon post mockingjay and everlark is growing back together slowly. I remember peeta gets a boner while Katniss and him are sleeping. I also think Peeta accidentally sees Katniss in only her towel after a shower and it’s super cute and awkward. I hope y’all can help and also thanks for all y’all do!

586. superpineappleenthusiast said to everlarkficquestions:Hey, I'm looking for a fic where the tributes of 74th games escape the arena. Thanks!

587. anonymous-loner95 said to everlarkficquestions:What the fic where Peeta thinks he's about to sleep with some random girl, which I think is actually is Jo, but is tricked into a room with Katniss?

588. thatgirl56834 said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! First of all, I love this blog! You guys rock! I’ve been looking for a one shot I used to read all the time. It was where Katniss and Peeta were friends in middle school and kissed after their dance but then Katniss moved away. Years later they ended up being neighbors and getting together. Peeta lied about who he was at first but then Katniss figured it out. If you know what this fic is, I’d love to read it again! 💗

588 FOUND!  Wishes Old and New by Peetasbunmyoven. Thank you, @sunsetsrmydreams and @allie-rose

589. neonsnail said to everlarkficquestions:Hey I'm looking for a fic where peeta meets katniss and she has some kind of vision that if she gets pregnant prim dies and tries to stay away from peeta but she fails and then she sleeps with peeta to try to get pregnant and fails then disappears and they meet again a few years later and become a couple

589 FOUND! The story ha been identified as The Fool by Myusernamehere but unfortunately it has been deleted by the author.  Thank you @katnissdoesnotfollowback​

590. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions: what’s the fic where Peeta cheats (post mockingjay) on Katniss and because of this she ends up with someone else?

591. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions: Peeta and Katniss are in highschool and Peeta goes to prom with Madge and Katniss goes with Gale. She wears a burgundy dress and at the pre prom thing she meets an old friend from home named Josh.

592. tributeintraining said to everlarkficquestions:I'm looking for a specific fanfic I read years ago. It's a modern AU where Katniss and Gale are in a band together. Katniss is the guitarist and doesn't sing. Gale is married to Madge but was having an affair with Katniss. The public finds out and she leaves the band. She goes solo and starts a PR relationship with Peeta. Her first solo performance is singing "Shake it out". That's all I remember. Thank!

593. supreme-doritos said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! im looking for a fic where the rebellion happens early and the capitol gets overthrown before the 74th hunger games by a tribute (then victor) from district 7. At one point katniss and peeta (who lost his leg in the bombing) look after haymitch but he ends up killing himself so they don't starve during a really harsh winter. Before he dies he asks katniss to give chaff a naked lady mug/glass (i cant remember the name lol sorry) Thank you! I really appreciate you guys <3

593 FOUND!  The Avalanche And Little Pebbles by Dyce - thanks to @eggplant8

594. entwodreiquatrocinq-blog said to everlarkficquestions: So i'm looking for this fanfic I read once on FF.net. Peeta and Katniss are intimate in the catching fire arena, and later in district 13, she finds out that she pregnant. Peeta is either in a coma or captured and one of his brothers survived. I believe there is a fight between Katniss and the brother, and he says something like "just because you f'ed my brother in front of the entire country doesn't mean....."  That's all I remember, I hope it's specific enough. :)

(594) Possibly The Sharp Edge of Memory by Titania522 - thanks @eggplant8

595. lettrsto said to everlarkficquestions:hi guys!! i can't remember for shit the name of this one shot, i guess it was written for promptsinpanem, where katniss dates gale, but haymitch hates his guts so k&g make a deal w peeta so katniss fake dates peeta while she's actually dating gale behind haymitch's back. can you guys give some help, pretty please? does it ring any light? thank you!!!!

(595)  FOUND by the asker!  Yours And Mine by Andthisisthewonder

596. jonerys-everlark said to everlarkficquestions:I remember a fanfic where Katniss and Peeta were in the 74th games when Katniss learns that Peeta is with the Careers, she remembers him telling her something (I think) but I know that she then waits until they are gone, and says to the audience something to the effect of , “I have something to say... he has not betrayed me, he is protecting me, as to his confession in the interview, I’m still trying to decide how I feel about it” or something like that, basically, she knows he is on her side an

Do any of these fics ring a bell? Please let us know!

[innocent-until-proven-geeky]

Codywan Rec List

“a study in philosophy” series by @someawkwardprose

This is probably my favorite thing ever. I don’t remember how I found it, I think I was just going through Ao3, but I immediately fell in love and I think I’ve read it through six times? It’s angsty and heartbreaking and heartwarming and I just can’t stop loving it. I cry literally every update. It’s grand.

“Codywan Deserves Better” by @halbarrytrashcan

Just a couple sweet little things about Codywan being each other’s comfort and happiness! Also Cody setting things... on fire? I don’t remember if that’s literal or not...

“Desert Rose” by Shadowmatic

Basically Obi-Wan wakes up after Vader kills him like it was a bad dream only a few weeks into the war. We’ve got Force visions, we’ve got trans Anakin, we’ve got ace characters left and right, it’s truly a great story. Check it out.

“if (hear: “Execute Order Sixty-Six”)” by lunaemoth

Okay okay okay consider: someone who loves the clones and hates the Kaminoans changes the code in the biochip so that instead of killing their Jedi, the clones get Severely Overprotective because fix-it fics are So Good and then also there are lots of Clone/Jedi ships.

“i can’t go back and lose it all” series by eynn

Another fix-it au where essentially like,,, all the Jedi sort of,,, fall? So the clones are like “you’re not really a Jedi anymore so... can’t kill ya” but they still have to deal with some of the other clones and also the aftermath of Palpatine declaring himself Emperor and there is NOT A SINGLE STRAIGHT PERSON IN THIS SERIES and at least two poly triads? It is a wholeass blessing.

“it’s not fair (just let me perfect it)” by @octoaliencowboy

Cool cool cool THIS. It was recommended to me by a friend from the Clone Wars Centre discord (or maybe E?) and it’s one of the first modern au fics I’ve read and it’s. Wow. Cool so Obi-Wan adopts everyone and Cody is a shop teacher and they PINE for each other but also we get high school drama from some of the other clones and Anakin and Ahsoka and also Palps being shady. A blessing and a half. I screech at every update. Is that weird? It’s probably weird.

“More Than Blood” by @generalekenobi

YES OKAY so this one. Cody’s chip malfunctions but the rest of the clones’ chips work so he and Obi go on the run and build a li’l life for themselves and, of course, they pine, because I can only read those types of fics. Currently only 3 chapters in but most of these are WIPs so if that bothers you... then I’m sorry but I’ll rec it again when it’s finished.

“Obi-Wan ‘The Therapist’ Kenobi and How He Changed Everything” series by RobinPlaysTrumpet15

Essentially, the events of Umbara piss Obi-Wan off and he decides that no, his men Will Not be cannon fodder Ever Again, and they get all cute and creative and have therapy sessions and just. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

“The Dead Man” by Batdad

A short, sweet piece in which, years after Order 66, Obi-Wan comes to Cody’s rescue unexpectedly.

“The Happening” series by... @forcesensitivebantha I believe?

Crack. The crackiest crack. The BEST crack. With a couple heart-wrenching moments thrown in for good measure. It had the entire Clone Wars Centre on the floor when we first read it. Fair warning, I believe that of all my recs this one has the most borderline dirty (and actually dirty) moments, but I’m sex averse or repulsed depending on the day and I enjoyed it so I think it’s pretty solid.

“The Many Names of Peace” by kj_feybarn

First of all, despite the fact that the clones were bred to be Perfect Soldiers and never break under stress, the clones can break. Second, Obi-Wan was NOT bred to be the perfect soldier. A sort of fix-it which, if I remember correctly, doesn’t go into detail about the fixing, but the war ends in the Republic’s favor and now Obi-Wan has to learn to deal with everything he’s been through. It’s melancholy but makes me think of a field of flowers.

“There Goes the Atmosphere” by missmollyetc

It’s not exactly an Order 66 fix-it but it is like... an aftermath fix-it. It hasn’t been updated in a few years but that’s okay! What’s written is good and although I look forward to any more the author writes, I’m content with what we have! Very Clone-centric, btw, much love.

[buckevantommy]

'(Un)Happiest Season' review

Simply put, it wasn't enjoyable as a romance or a comedy or a Christmas flick. It failed on many fronts, but this reviewer from Salon.com puts the thing into words for Happiest Season's main failings: 

What's bad: There were two main criticisms of "Happiest Season." The first being: Can't LGBTQ audiences have a holiday movie where the main plot isn't about mining the anxiety and trauma associated with coming out, being closeted and casual homophobia? Then there's the fact that Harper really is just kind of the worst. After pushing Abby back in the closet, Harper ditches her in a town where she doesn't know anyone to go drink with her ex-boyfriend until two in the morning, then proceeds to call Abby "suffocating" when called on it. It's a pattern of s**ty behavior that is pervasive and present throughout the movie, so her redemption arc doesn't feel super genuine. 

Why can't we have main queer characters in Christmas movies without their presence being all about their queerness? We want fluffy festiveness, dammit! They could've made Harper less selfish and more attentive while still playing into the *I'm not out yet Because Reasons so we need to hide our gay relationship* trope, but they didn't. Who knows why, but what a waste. 🎄👩‍❤️‍👩☃️

^ Look at that trailer and tell me you don't expect Misunderstandings with fun and tropey antics + Domestic Christmas Shenanigans + Comfort for Hurt! You will be sorely disappointed. 😞 

NOTE: The flick does have a few good moments. And it's probably worth the watch just to see what's missing/mishandled when it comes to queer characters and queer romances in mainstream movies. 

But it's not really fun or funny or heart-warming - where are the snowball fights? Insightful conversations? Christmas elements like eggnog/spiced wine, candycanes, mistletoe? Where are the many colourful side characters and the hungover brunches? We get one scene of ice-skating for a few minutes and it's wasted on sibling rivalry bs rather than, say.. Abby and Harper skating together but not being aloud to touch—omg the tension!! 😍 

There's just not enough comfort for the hurt Abby (Kstew) goes through; the film wholly lacks those warm-n-fuzzy Christmas vibes; there's just way more wrong with it than is right with it - which sucks, because this had the potential to be such a great movie if only Harper was written as less ignorant/selfish and we'd gotten more enjoyable family interactions and more festive fun - like a celebration in town. Instead we get a few limited shots of the adorable town, a crappy bar, and an OTT fancy Christmas party for performative rich white folk on a career path for power and "perfection" (ie. wholesome family values). 

The story they went with was definitely better suited for a dramatic film, so in a romcom setting it really didn't work. Plus the side-characters were flat; we needed more depth from the supporting characters, more meaningful interactions. 

^ Look at those intro credits!! Look at all the domestic happy moments and tell me you don't want to see a movie filled with such fluffy festive goodness!! Well, if you don't want to see such moments, don't worry because you won't. I naturally thought we were going to get this kind of romantic-and-non-romantic happiness dispersed throughout the entire film, but no. Not a one. There's 5 minutes of Happy Couple at the start, and that's it 📸☹️ (unless you count a photo collage of the happy ending and year that follows stuffed into the end credits). 

BTW: That intro song is the most Christmasy song in the whole movie. The soundtrack features modern pop songs which 1) don't help set the festive vibe and 2) are really fucking annoying; the song choices are grating, not pleasant, not enjoyable, and they overpower the scenes with a whole lotta noise. I really wish we'd gotten more tunes like the one above. 🎶 

About the image below—Abby is actually miserable the entire time, getting worse by the day, barely a smile seen on her.. while Harper is the one schmoozing her family and contacts with teeth bared, so.. this image isn't what you'll get, just fyi:

(also: the only POC actors they had were the perfectionist-stone-faced-bitch's husband and his girlfriend - wife + hubby being secretly separated.) 

The things that the Salon reviewer liked are the same things I did (see below), but imho even those elements weren't enough to save this film from being: 

an infuriating 102 minute-comedy of errors buoyed by a healthy dose of gaslighting 

More cons of the flick are pointed out by denofgeek.com: 

Some of its issues come from the structure of the film, which shoehorns very real queer struggles into wacky rom-com tropes too fluffy to contain the stakes at hand. Meanwhile the choice to have one half of the lead couple be so aggressively and repeatedly cruel—while her high school ex Riley, played by the ever-perfect Aubrey Plaza was standing right there having all the chemistry in the world with the other romantic lead—was a fatal one.

It really was a dramatic plot idea crammed into a fluffy narrative. You can see the conflicting genres fighting to stay alive and they both die a slow, agonisingly dull death throughout the film. The whole *Abby being converted to loving Christmas by Harper inviting her to spend the holidays with her family* thing, only to have Harper force their relationship + Abby into the closet. Straight conversion much? I'm 100% sick of heteronormative bs in my queer Christmas films. 

For the most part, when you're not feeling for Abby's harsh treatment by her would-be fiance and everyone but Riley ignoring her completely, you will be bored af from the lack of festive cheer - not just twinkle lights and boisterous seasonal music, but those good ol' homey family Christmas vibes. With the Harper house + family members, everything's a performance, so that lack of sincerity and warmth makes for a depressing viewing experience: 

^ Jane (one of Harper's 2 sisters) is the only character allowed to be consistently genuine in the narrative (aside from John, but he's restricted mostly to phonecalls, and Riley - but even she's keeping Harper's secrets). Jane is the only character who is naturally vibrant and reminds us of some of the reasons we get excited about Christmas movies: to feel joy and to enjoy the company around us during the holiday season! 🎄☃️🥳 But rather than give us a fun day out with Jane + Abby, we get Abby + the second sister (i don't even remember her name, just BitchFace) which leads to more bad treatment of Abby - this time by two spoiled af no-smile rich kids. *le sigh* Jane carries the spark of honest joy for the entire Harper clan and that is TOO MUCH to expect of one character, let alone a side-character. 😪 

There are so many ways the story could've been tweaked to make more sense and be somewhat enjoyable, including: 

The orphan!Abby thing is just bad. Rather than give Abby a voice, chances to let her personality shine, almost everyone interacts with her to merely briefly express their condolences for her long-dead parents 🙄 

Abby is a pet-minder, ie. she's an animal lover, yet at no point do we see her interact with animals! Not a dog or cat or hamster, no reindeer at the petting zoo, nothing. 🐕🐈🦎🦜🐠

Riley + Abby getting together (even just a kiss) 👄 

Abby + Harper separating so Harper can get her shit together - and then we get several flashforward shots of them separately living their lives (Harper especially), and then meeting back up again - maybe the next holiday season, after some much-needed time apart 🏃‍♀️🤸‍♀️ 

side characters who engage with Abby in a sincere, meaningful way instead of ignoring her (again, we got Riley, but she was outside of the family dynamic) 😊 

MORE FESTIVE CHEER! where were all the staple Christmassy passtimes, the smile-inducing season-specific experiences??? 🎉 

More from denofgeek: 

Where the script gets into trouble is that it doesn’t distinguish between Harper being closeted and her poor treatment of Abby. The two are separate issues and treating them as one does no favors to Harper, nor others struggling with the closet. As Dan Levy’s beautiful monologue late in the movie alludes to, the closet is a safety mechanism—but it’s not a free pass to treat people like garbage. [...] 😟🏳️‍🌈

Even a brief conversation teasing out that being in the closet doesn’t justify how Harper acted, and that plenty of people in the closet don’t treat others like trash, would have been important. Instead once Harper is out (which the movie takes pains to make clear only happened because Harper’s sister Sloane outed her), and a gesture so small it could never credibly be called grand is made, all bad behavior is washed away. [...] 😤🙅‍♀️ 

The jarring underlying issue is that 'Happiest Season' attempts to apply the standard rom-com and made-for-TV-holiday-movie tropes to queer life. So Abby having to go back into the closet isn’t framed as a painful regression or being forced to deny an essential part of herself, but rather a fun twist, in the vein of “but the guy she insulted on the plane is the owner of the ornament factory she has to impress to win the Christmas contest!”🚪😒 

All of Harper’s behavior adds up to making her feel like something the audience wants Abby to be free of, not someone Abby should be fighting for. Once Riley tells Abby about Harper’s cruelty in high school, where Harper outed Riley and mocked her rather than standing up for her or finding an excuse that protected them both, it becomes incredibly difficult to root for the lead couple to get back together, or for Harper at all. 👏💃 

With this information, Harper’s other transgressions go from frustrating to part of a larger pattern. Sadly, it’s a pattern Harper repeats when her sister outs her and she throws Abby under the (lesbian) bus. 🤬 

FAVE THINGS: 

all interactions between John (Dan Levy) + Abby (he's witty, honest, and 100% the most entertaining element of the entire film; i wish we'd gotten more of him) 😆 

Riley (Aubrey Plaza, Harper's ex) + Abby's scenes together because CHEMISTRY, both between the characters and the actors 👩‍❤️‍👩

Notable between Abby + Riley scenes include 3 instances of Riley comforting Abby's hurt: outside at the fancy party (Abby feeling excluded/ignored/not worth anyone's time due to the way they treat her even though they don't know she's gay), at a gay bar in town (sandwiched by scenes where Abby's made to feel like crap by Harper), and at the fancy home Christmas party where Riley gets Abby something stronger to drink after hearing Abby was going to propose to Harper (but it's been a helluva shitty week and those plans are dead) 👭 

Every scene with Riley was blessed relief from the hurt and discomfort and boredom of the rest of the time with Harper's family. 🤩 

Sister Jane, for being a genuinely fun character 🤗 who was written starkly different to her family and treated somewhat like an outcast 

Aubrey + Kstew killin it in various pantsuits 👀 

In contrast, Riley connects Abby to queerness, bringing her to an LGBTQ bar to decompress and enjoy a Christmas-themed drag performance. It’s the most relaxed and comfortable Abby is on screen since the opening scenes, a chance to glimpse Abby’s authentic self before Harper summons her back to heterosexuality, and where she once again ignores and disappoints her. Riley actually talks to Abby at the various holiday parties whereas Harper keeps leaving her to please her family, especially her father. It’s not hard for the natural chemistry between Plaza and Stewart to take over

I wouldn't watch this film again. For a hopeful Christmasy love story I'd just watch all Abby + Riley's scenes: 

In closing, here's a batshit article title from observer.com that just makes you go, huh? 🧐:

‘Happiest Season’ Isn’t Happy, But That Doesn’t Make It a Bad Rom-Com

Um.. yes, yes it does. 

Rom-Coms are supposed to be fun, light-hearted stories about love even when the plot deals with lying - The Proposal, Sweet Home Alabama - so a movie that leaves you hurting more than comforted in sympathy with one of the main characters because the (apparent) love of their life is treating them like shit, then it doesn't deserve to be in the genre of Rom-Com. 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨💞🎬

In summary, Abby and Harper got 5 minutes of happiness in the beginning, and an eventual happy ending after a super rocky middle. The journey was painful and unenjoyable, and it made their happy ending unbelievable and, for Harper, undeserved because of her behaviour through 90% of the story. 

In short: it was not, in fact, the happiest season. 😕👎

[peaceisadirtyword]

Neon Lights I (Modern!Ivar/Reader)

A/N: Hello!💕 I hope you’re all okay and safe. I’m sorry I didn’t post anything these days, I'm just a bit nervous and maybe worried about the situation and it’s hard to concentrate on writing... Besides, I'm now working from home and it’s even more exhausting than going out to go to the office😅 But it’s okay, we’ll be fine💜 meanwhile, I hope you enjoy this. It’s maybe a bit boring, it’s like an introduction chapter, but I hope it entertains you a bit😘 Thank you for reading and take care!

Btw, before reading this, I recommend you read the author’s note on the prologue (if you haven’t yet), the link is below!💞

Warnings: mentions of sex, sexism, alcohol and nakedness.

Words: 3002

Prologue

gif belongs to @lol-haha-joke​

Ivar was uncomfortable. 

Maybe he shouldn't have drank that much that night and he would have ended up there. If he had kept his mouth shut and stopped bragging about his status... 

At first, he thought that the men that bargained into his hotel room were Björn's men. He was nearly ready to die, what was left for him anyway? He was all alone, his brothers and his own wife betrayed him. But then he realized Björn hadn't sent anyone to look for him so far from home, he probably thought he was dead already. 

Always underestimating him. 

They killed the few men Ivar had left, but spared his life. Apparently someone had heard about him and wanted to meet him. Ivar expected to find someone trying to impress him, maybe a young boy anxious to prove how powerful he was. 

He didn't expect to find Oleg. An actually powerful man that knew who he was. Ivar thought he'd kill him when he found out he had no power now, that his brothers took everything from him and now he was only running away. But he didn't. 

Instead he offered his help, to help him take his home back, to get revenge from his family. 

Of course, Ivar said yes. 

The club looked like a normal nightclub. It was clean, the security guards were professional and serious. If he hadn't seen the platform with the poles and the girls dancing, he would have thought it was a bar. 

He didn't pay attention to the girls dancing. He had no interest on looking at girls dancing half naked on a pole, and he found it awkward and uncomfortable. He couldn't look at any woman since... 

Oleg laughed and drank next to him. He didn't pay attention to the girls either, he was used to it. He chatted with some of the men sitting around him, and sometimes with Ivar.  

Ivar felt a bit out of place. He was completely alone, forced to trust Oleg when he felt like he couldn't even trust his own family. He stayed quiet, watching everyone carefully while sipping on his beer. 

Until he saw you. 

He blinked a couple of times, mesmerized by your movements and your beauty. You were already watching him, your eyes widened and your lovely lips slightly parted. He wondered why you looked at him like that. It wasn't the look he had seen other girls giving to the clients, trying to seduce them so they would increase their tips, this look was innocent, you seemed to be stunned to see him there. Why would you look at him like that if he hadn't shown any interest on any of the girls?

He leaned into Oleg then, touching his arm softly to catch his attention. 

"Who is she?"

Oleg's eyes fixed on you, and he smirked, shaking his head. 

"She is Y/N" he muttered "She's one of my favorite girls, isn't she amazing?" he chuckled. 

"Y/N?" Ivar muttered your name. It sounded different with Oleg's accent. 

"Do you like her?" his host seemed amused. 

Ivar frowned. 

"No, I was just... Intrigued" 

"Y/N is definitely intriguing" Oleg nodded "You can have some private time with her... No touching, though, but you wouldn't regret it, she is very requested by our most important clients"

Ivar shook his head. Even if your dancing was hypnotizing and he would love to see it in private, he didn't want to meet you in that way. 

It scared him, because he hadn't felt that since Freydis. 

__________________________________

Oleg gave you the day off. It allowed you to relax at the small apartment you had upstairs the club. Read some books, have a relaxing shower and sleep, resting after four nights in a row. Until Olivia came to your room at eleven, with a beautiful red dress and a pair of black heels, interrupting your plans of drifting off to sleep while watching a very bad movie on  TV. 

"Oleg asked for you" she smiled softly at you as you pouted "He gave me this dress, and I added the heels. I know you hate those black heels you have, these are more comfortable" she put everything on your bed, and you stared at it.

"I thought I had the night free" you sighed "He told me"

"Yes" Olivia sighed. She was Russian, like Oleg, with blonde hair, blue eyes and pale skin, and she was his most trusted girl. She was the one who taught you to survive in that place, helping you to learn how to dance, how to behave and how to be quiet to avoid getting in trouble. She had a soft spot for you, which made Oleg develop another soft spot for you. You were alive thanks to Olivia "But he only wants you downstairs, next to him. He probably wants to make business with someone, and he needs one of us to distract him... Men don't think straight when they have a beautiful woman in front of them" she chuckled. 

"Unless they don't like women" you shrugged "Anyway, I'm going to do my makeup, can you please help me with my hair?" 

She nodded and you got out of bed. The small apartment Oleg gave to you had only a room with your bed, a TV and a table and a small kitchen and the end of the room. The bathroom was even smaller; a shower, a toilet and a sink with a dirty mirror, and you and Olivia could barely stand in front of it as she combed your hair softly and you put on some concealer and foundation. 

"He has a new guest" she said casually "A Danish man, I can't remember his name, but he's hot"

You nearly dropped the concealer. 

"I... Have you seen him?" 

"Yes, he was with Oleg last night, I sat down with him and his guests after you went to the private rooms with that man, he's handsome, Y/N, you should have seen his eyes, God" she bit her lip "He's injured, I think, he had to walk with a crutch... He didn't speak much, he seemed a bit bored" she shrugged. 

You hummed, even if your hands trembled a bit. You couldn't stop thinking about that man you saw the night before, his eyes, his face... How he had looked at you. 

He had to be Oleg's new guest. 

The dress fit perfectly. It was expensive, probably from a famous brand you couldn't even think about. Oleg had that habit of buying his girls -and some of his boys- expensive clothes and makeup, making you feel like a princess so he could show you off, as if you were a painting ready to be sold off by a famous artist. He gave you a place to live and food to eat, you only had to let him show you off and seduce some of his clients. 

"You look beautiful as always" Olivia smiled as she looked at you "Oleg will be happy, now go downstairs before he gets inpatient... I'll go too, later" she promised before kissing your cheek lovingly. You nodded and left the room behind her, closing the door. 

The hallway was full of doors, that lead into apartments like yours. Oleg preferred to have all of his workers in there, safe and under his own roof. There was a guard next to the stairs, who smiled at you when you walked next to him. At the end of the stairs, there was a door, guarded by other two men. And then there was the club. 

Some of the girls danced as a group of men howled with eyes full of lust. You pressed your lips in disgust, but ignored them as you approached the guard in front of the entrance to Oleg's VIP room. The one he used when he had important people over, that had a private bar and access to all the dancing rooms. 

He lifted the rope. You thanked him with a polite smile, trying to hide how nervous you were. And Oleg came immediately, with a big smile on his lips. 

"Y/N" he cupped your cheeks "You look absolutely beautiful" his eyes fixed on yours and you tried to smile back "I knew this was your color" 

"Thank you, Oleg" you nodded respectfully.

"Come, I want you to meet someone" his hand grabbed your waist, and you walked next to him to the couches at the end of the room. 

There was a huge group of people there, everyone was already drunk, smoking and laughing loudly. You knew some of them, and they eyed you up and down when you walked past them. It was disgusting, like a steak placed in front of a hungry dog. But Oleg was there, and they wouldn't dare to try and touch you. 

Not in front of him, at least. 

You were so distracted by everyone in the room that you didn't realize he was in there too. Oleg made you stop next to a beautiful velvet couch, and when he raised his head and looked at you, you froze. 

He was even more beautiful than you remembered. His eyes were the most beautiful thing you had ever seen, and you bit your lip nervously. 

"Ivar" Oleg smirked "Let me introduce you to Y/N, one of my most precious girls" he chuckled "Y/N, my dear, this is Ivar, he comes from Denmark, I remember you told me you'd love to visit Scandinavia"

You cleared your throat, nodding with a polite smile. You had to treat him like you treated all of Oleg's guests. 

"It's really nice to meet you, Ivar" you liked how his name sounded on your lips.

Ivar was looking at you with widened eyes and parted lips, and blinked a couple of times before nodding, smiling in a way that made your knees weak. 

"It's nice to meet you too, Y/N" oh, but your name sounded even better on his lips "Forgive me for not standing to greet you properly" he patted his leg, and you saw the crutch leaned into the arm of the couch next to him.

Oleg pushed you softly to the couch, making you sit down next to Ivar. 

"Do you want a drink, my dear?" he caressed your cheek with a smirk on his lips.

Your mouth was dry, but you didn't want to drink any alcohol, so you just shook your head. He nodded. 

"I have to go now, I have business to attend" he smiled again, that smile that gave you chills "I hope Y/N can entertain you while I'm busy, Ivar" 

You didn't reply, but Ivar shot him a smile with his lips closed as he walked away. The smirk never left his lips. 

You were nervous. Fiddling with the hem of your dress, you looked everywhere but to Ivar. He seemed to be uncomfortable too, with his jaw clenched and his eyes fixed on his lap. 

"You can leave if you want to" he said softly, startling you. You frowned a bit and finally looked at him, tilting your head "I don't want you to feel like you're obliged to sit next to me and... How did he call it? Entertain me"

"It's fine" you smiled "I prefer to entertain you than to entertain his other guests" you raised an eyebrow.

He hummed, smiling back at you. 

"And why is that?" He asked. His voice was addicting, your new favorite sound. 

"They often want another form of entertainment" you giggled "One I'm afraid I don't offer"

"Oh" he raised an eyebrow "I see"

Oleg's guest usually looked disappointed when you made clear you wouldn't fuck them. He didn't even look surprised. 

"What brought you to Kiev, Ivar?" 

He sighed, taking a sip of his drink. He was drinking vodka, but he didn't even flinch. 

"I was running away" he muttered "Oleg heard about me and thought I'd be useful"

"Oleg finds everyone useful" you smiled "In one way or another"

"I find him useful too" his blue eyes fixed on yours and you held his gaze "What brought you to Kiev?"

"Long story" you chuckled "Similar to yours"

He nodded, taking another sip.

"Oleg said you'd love to visit Scandinavia"

"Yes" you sighed "Is it as beautiful as everyone says?" 

"I suppose so" he frowned a bit "I grew up there, for me it's just... Home" 

It must be nice to have a home, you thought. 

"I always wanted to see the fjords" you muttered "And the northern lights"

"I think Norway would be the best place for you" he hummed softly "In Denmark you can see some northern lights, maybe from the Faroe Islands, but our fjords aren't as impressive as the ones in Norway, I'm afraid" 

"But Denmark has beautiful places too" you smiled softly "I don't know, I wish I could travel to all of them" 

"Then why don't you?" He frowned a bit "Oleg seems to adore you, I'm sure he'd let you go for a couple of days"

You smiled at him, shaking your head.

"I'm afraid I'm stuck here, Ivar" you sighed "For a long time" 

He couldn't possibly understand that, and you didn't expect him to. Men often thought you were there because you liked to dance half naked to get them horny. Some of them even believed that was your dream job. They thought they were doing you a favor, flattering you, when they said how beautiful you were, all the things they wanted to do to you. 

When, honestly, you just wanted to be in your bed. 

Ivar opened his mouth, but then closed it again, shaking his head and blushing. You giggled, he was cute. 

"Are you nervous, Ivar?" you tilted your head with a smile on your lips. Your eyes looked right into his and Ivar smiled softly. 

"Any man would be nervous around a woman like you" 

"I don't think you are like any man" 

"I never said I was" 

You bit your lip and your smile widened. 

"You definitely aren't" 

_______________________________________

You still had that stupid smile on your lips when you entered your small bathroom to take your makeup off. You stared at yourself in the mirror, you didn't remember when was the last time you smiled like that.

Oleg had interrupted the two of you, just when Ivar was telling you about the colorful buildings in Copenhagen. He needed you, to show you off in front of his more powerful guests. The way he spoke to Ivar sounded like he thought he was being too generous with him for letting him talk to you. 

You spent the rest of the night being Oleg's little pet, like always. He caressed your cheek and your waist as he laughed at the bad jokes his guests made, and smirked every time he caught them staring at your legs or your chest. Ivar sat down with all of you, but his eyes never left your face. 

He was the only one that wished you good night, with a soft smile on his lips as you excused yourself. Olivia didn't come down, and you had knocked on her door before going to your bedroom, but she was already asleep. You just hoped Oleg wasn't bothered by her absence. 

When you were already changed into your pajamas, after hanging the dress on the wardrobe and cleaning a bit the heels to gave them back the next day, someone knocked on your door. 

Sighing you opened the door, knowing who you'd find at the other side. 

"My beautiful Y/N" Oleg smiled softly at the sight of you "Did I wake you up?" 

"No, sir, I was still awake" you muttered, curving your lips in a shy smile. 

"Oh, nice" he entered your room, looking around briefly before sitting on your unmade bed "I needed to talk to you, but I couldn't do it earlier with so many people around" 

You nodded, closing the door before sitting on the bed next to him. 

"Yes?"

"What do you think about Ivar?" He seemed genuinely interested, which surprised you. Usually, he couldn't care less about what you thought of his guests, and that could only mean that Ivar was special.

"I like him" you tried your best to avoid blushing when talking about him "He's... Different" 

"Yes he is" Oleg raised an eyebrow "He seemed captivated by you too, and that's a good thing, Y/N, because he's a very important man" 

You frowned. You didn't like his tone.

"But what does that have to do with me?" 

"Ivar is the heir of a really important business in Scandinavia, Y/N, I would say he's the most important man in Northern Europe, even if he has nothing now, he's everything" 

"I still don't understand..."

"I want you to keep him happy, Y/N" he interrupted you, pushing your hair behind your ear "We need him to trust us, so be nice to him, be the good little girl I know you are and make Ivar the happiest man in the world... Of course, you don't have to do anything you don't want to, I'm sure he'd understand..." He chuckled, but it wasn't funny to you. 

"Okay" you cleared your throat "I... I understand"

"I knew I could count on you" Oleg kissed your forehead "That's why you're one of my favorites, Y/N" 

You forced a smile, nodding. 

"By the way, my brother Askold will come in a couple of days" he sighed as he stood up "Igor will come with him"

This time, your smile was genuine. You loved Igor with all your heart, but couldn't see him as often as you'd like. 

"I knew you'd be happy to hear that" he smirked "Now, go to sleep little one, you must rest for tomorrow" 

"Okay" you nodded as he opened the door "Good night, Oleg"

"Good night beautiful" he winked at you "See you tomorrow" 

_____________________________________________________

Tags: @mblaqgi​ @alicedopey​ @lol-haha-joke​ @hallowed-heathen​ @naaladareia​ @tephi101​ @captstefanbrandt​ @love-hate-love​ @titty-teetee​ @readsalot73​ @moondustmemories​ @thevikingsheaux​ @therealcalicali​ @chimera4plums​ @blushingskywalker​ @awkwardfangirl02​ @gruffle1​ @justacripple​ @love-dria​ @heartbeats-wildly​ @letsrunawaytotomorrow​ @inforapound​ @sallydelys​ @hellogabysblog​ @trashcanx @winchesterwife27​ @hecohansen31​ @youbloodymadgenius​ @xinyourdreamsx​ @funmadnessandbadassvikings​ @eteramfools​ @tgrrose​ @flokidottirsstuff​ @lovessce​ @tootie-fruity​ @heavenly1927​ @wonderlandofsu​ @didiintheblog​ @alexhandersenx​

I hope I didn’t forget anyone💜 Thank you for reading!😘

[jeanjauthor]

how long did it take to build royal docks in Mediveal times? Also, how long would it take to build mediveal war ships?

Royal Docks...? I'm not certain what that means, unless you meant big and sturdy and meant to tie up more than two ships. As for how long it takes, that genuinely depends on several factors:

What time of year it is, whether or not there are freezing cold or blistering hot seasons, what sort of water/land junction it is (rivers react differently from lakes which react differently from sea or ocean-side shorelines), what sort of building materials they have on hand AND where it is located (how far do they have to bring stones or logs, and again what time of year to harvest, cure (in the case of the timbers), and/or transport these materials, and how much they have to pre-prepare them, PLUS how many bodies they have to throw at the problem, from planning to logistics to actual construction.

Wood, for instance, you will ideally want fully seasoned mature dead-standing trees. Now, maybe they have some in a nearby forest, girded and ready after a couple of years of drying out. BUT, maybe they have to order those timbers be prepared. So what could take maybe a handful of months might actually take several years. Wise forestry would always have X amount of trees ready-to-go...but they'll also have X number of projects wanting most of that lumber. So is this this scheduled well in advance? Or is it ad hoc, impromptu, a royal whim? Has anything else needed those supplies that were pre-planned as extra spares In Case Something Comes Up?

Not to mention in the middle ages, sawing lumber takes hella long and a lotta energy. Splitting planks is easier and quicker, same with steam-bending the planks, but while faster, that takes a lot more skill and a lot of forestry management (tree spacing, thinning, etc, all have to be just right plus the tree's own genetics & health, to get it to grow straight). Whether it's planks for a dock or planks for a ship, it's going to take a lot.

Stone docks...are best done when most of the stone is right there. Even better, if they can use mortar or flat-out concrete, and then they just have to figure out how to build water-tight forms...but it'll still take months of work.

Btw, the Romans did things with their seaside docks that still couldn't be replicated or even figured out until just a handful of years ago, when the concrete-specialist chemists finally realized they literally used seawater for the water in their cement mix; we'd been using freshwater in recent centuries, so naturally the salt eroded our versions! Our freshwater version would always crumble within decades; the Roman version literally lasted for thousands of years (weathered, but still there, even if only in part).

As for warships, I'm no expert, but even I can tell you that building a warship takes years. Anything that has to be (relatively) big and especially sturdy is going to take extra time, extra materials, extra craftsmanship, and you don't want to skimp on any of that because it'll have flaws and weaknesses that will sink it within its first few voyages...and be an utter waste of all those materials, manpower, and the time it took to bring it all together.

It's not just the wood. It's not just the ropes. It's not just the sails Those literally take years and years to make, since they have to be of a very specific type of cloth, strength and closeness of weave, to be able to handle variable speeds of wind whether wet or dry. It's all the ironwork, it's all the fittings, finding the right kind of wood for the masts and the rudder, so on and so forth.

Even modern day ships aren't built quickly! But if you want to know about medieval carracks and galleons, there are plenty of resources online. You can even look at modern day sailing vessels, who have websites and FAQs and people who can answer questions about how long it did take versus how long it could take to build one of these things. One of the sailing ships within my own state is the Lady Washington, which can be read about here at the website for the company that maintains & manages it: https://historicalseaport.org/

They will know way more than me about the specifics...and they might even be able to answer your questions about docks...or at least point you at reference material that might hold what you seek! (There are many other sailing ship restoration & sailing life organizations out there; this is just the one I personally know about.)

[roseskiesandbutterflies]

Pain Is So Close To Pleasure (Platonic!Reader x Modern!Queen)

Summary: As a recently promoted Soloist for the Royal Ballet, you move closer to Covent Garden with your four-year-old daughter, Rose. But your new neighbour turns out to be the last person you'd expect to pop up on your doorstep.

A/N: Fun fact, there is a woman called Elizabeth Harrod who is a soloist for the Royal Ballet, has a 4-year-old child and once played the character mentioned. All by coincidence. And she is married to Steven McRae who was the inspiration for the fic I was hugely inspired by. Fun times guys. I used to dance ballet once or twice a week for about 5 years but stopped 4 years ago. And I may or may not be regretting my decision to quit. Oh well. I really hope you liked this, do leave feedback if you don't mind and perhaps a like or even a reblog? I have at least 3 more ideas for this but if you think of anything then please please please let me know! Stay hydrated kiddos!

Warning(s): swearing, mentioned arguments, crying, mentioned nightmares, reader is female btw

Inspiration: Brian May’s instagram, Incandescent by @immistermercury on AO3, Modern Times Rock N Roll by @rhapso-kei on Tumblr and AO3, Outed by @platawnic on Tumblr

Word Count: 7.2k+ (it’s a big boi lads)

Taglist: @bhmay @briarrose26 @bijoukitty

Ask to be on my taglist if you want!

Never in a million years had you ever expected moving to a new house to be this fun. For it was only carrying boxes into the house repeatedly for hours at a time. Right?

Wrong!

It turned out that the opportunities for games increased tenfold when you have a child. The child in question had barely even stepped out of the van when she suggested that you compete against each other to see who could carry the most boxes into your new house. Given that you had actual professionals lifting the heavy stuff – chairs, tables and so forth – racing would actually speed things up with getting the smaller boxes in the house.

Small footsteps increased in volume before a similarly small voice asked, “What next, Mummy?”

You looked up at you daughter from where you were awkwardly crouched inside the delivery van, shockingly ungraceful for a ballerina, just for one moment amidst all of the chaos that came with moving to a new house. All wrapped up in her khaki green coat, her nose and cheeks were tinted with the pink of harsh January mornings. Her eyes were the same colour as yours, the most beautiful shade of (Y/E/C), and were always alive with excitement; today was no exception. She was almost the perfect likeness to you: the same skin, the same nose, the same lips. Her hair was more like that of her father’s, but she was beautiful all the same, and more importantly your precious girl.

You dragged yourself out of your daydream and passed a relatively small stack of books to Rose, “You got it?” you asked uncertainly, images of newly-ruined books spilt over the floor flashing through your mind for a second.

“Yup!” she was already running into the house and up the stairs by then and you chuckled despite yourself. You dragged a transparent plastic box from the back of the van to where you had now positioned yourself. This one was full to the brim of dead pointe shoes, each pair decorated with paints and lace and beads and whatever you had in the house at the time; one even had uncooked pasta stuck to it. You were sure that you were going to find more boxes like these considering how many pairs you had worn over the years.

It had become a sort of tradition for you, to decorate each pair of pointe shoes once they died, never quite being able to let go of them. You wrote their date of ‘birth’ – when you wore them for the first time - and their date of ‘death’ – the day they finally broke – on the sole of each shoe in gold paint and a fine brush. Often, they were the same date, which was evidence of how hard you worked. You liked to decorate the wings and the vamp using a random theme, usually shows you had performed. The ones you had oh-so-carefully picked up however was Tangled-themed, chosen by Rose when you had had a lack of inspiration. You placed it back down and swapped it for another, this time a Swan Lake pair. You smiled to yourself at the memories attached to that particular pair; it had been your first ever professional show, when you were still in the Royal Ballet School and the company had merged with the school for the first time since your arrival. You looked at the dates on the soles and almost gasped despite yourself.

16.12.2012 ~ 23.12.2012

Just over 5 years ago.

Those shoes were almost an entire year older than Rose. You couldn’t quite believe that you had been involved with the Royal for so long. It felt like mere days, weeks at the most. The only thing convincing you otherwise was the sheer number of shoes in the box and the combined weight of them all, seen as you went through upwards of 100 pairs every season. Fortunately, ballet wasn’t just turns, leaps, plies and wearing gorgeous costumes, it required a great deal of strength so carrying the box into the house was hardly a problem.

From a stranger’s glance, your new home appeared to be a house, Georgian with bricks the colour of coffee, immaculately painted and symmetrical to every other house in the immediate vicinity. But this was London, more importantly this was central London, and that meant you’d have to be a multi-millionaire in order to afford an actual house. It also meant that the whole block was once something that could only be described as a miniature mansion, and had been split up into houses and now, several flats. One of which you were now the proud owner.

You had spent a long time saving up for this flat; you had needed more space for you and your daughter for a while now and you had been long overdue a change from that studio flat in Camden. So, when this flat came up for sale, you felt as if all of your prayers had been answered. Compared to your previous home, this one had buckets of space, you had a bedroom each for a start. It was a mere twenty-minute walk to the Royal Opera House, making it so much easier when you had late performances or overrunning rehearsals. Or when you accidentally forgot your leg warmers or spare pointe shoes, incidents that happened more often than you would like.

You climbed the staircase to your first-floor flat; you supposed that that would take some getting used to, especially after long days of back-to-back classes, rehearsals and shows. You pretty much dumped the box of pointe shoes on the floor of the living room and turned around to leave only to have Rose collide straight into you.

“Sorry, Mummy!” she giggled, as sweet as ever, and blew you a kiss as a form of apology.

“That’s alright, darling, it was only an accident,” you blew her a kiss back, “Now, where did you put your books?”

She grabbed your hand and tugged you incessantly to your bedroom, “Look!” she pointed proudly to the stack of books on your bed, which looked as if it could collapse at a moment’s notice, but a stack, nonetheless.

Your heart broke slightly when you realised: she still thought you had to share a room. You crouched down to be eye-level with her, “Rose, why don’t you put them in your room, instead? They’re your books, sweetie, not mine.”

“But they are in my room,” she frowned, head cocked to the side in confusion.

“No, this is Mummy’s room. Your room is next door,” it was your turn to lead her into her own bedroom, a tad more gently than how she’d done it, and her eyes opened wide with wonder.

“I can have my own room?” her voice filled with disbelief and your heart ached terribly.

“Of course, princess. This flat is much, much bigger than our old one.”

She squealed with excitement and threw her arms around you, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”, before running off to grab her picture books. You stood up, shaking your head with a chuckle before returning to the van. You grabbed another box, this one stuffed with Rose’s toys, “Rose! Can you come and bring this one in?”

She catapulted down the stairs, forever a tiny hurricane, and snatched the box out of your hands. You made your way to the front door with another box in your arms for about the hundredth time that day but stopped dead in your tracks in the middle of the pavement.

Rose was wandering down the street, box of toys long forgotten and left on the stairs, heading straight for the busy road perpendicular to your own. You dropped your own box on the pavement and broke out into a full-on sprint to stop her, heart pounding with fear. She was reaching the end of the pavement, completely oblivious to the cars speeding along to her right, and to the car that was indicating to turn left. For a fleeting second you thought the reckless driver was going to hit her, when a man suddenly ran out f the pharmacy at the end of the road and swept her up into his arms. You scowled, endlessly grateful that she hadn’t been hurt, but more than slightly annoyed that a complete stranger had the audacity to pick up your precious girl. Your maternal instincts went into overdrive and, once you reached them, you snatched Rose back from the man.

“Get your hands off my child,” you glared at him. Now you could get a far better look at him, you could tell he definitely wasn’t young, his white hair and beard gave that away instantly. His eyes were masked by sunglasses, confusing you slightly; it may have been sunny that day, but it was only January. Something about him was strangely familiar to you, it was hard to describe but you were sure you recognised the overall aura he had about him. You shook off the thought for now, you could ponder over it long after Rose had gone to bed and you finally had some time to yourself. Speaking of Rose, you shifted your focus to her; she seemed unharmed, if a little shaken up. You placed her on your hip and she instinctively tucked her head into the crook of your neck and looked at the man curiously.

“Well, I did just save her life, you could at least say thank you,” the stranger muttered, his voice gruff but somehow light.

Your gut dropped; you recognised that voice. You tried to convince yourself otherwise, but that voice was way too unique to be anyone else’s. He must have seen the cogs turn in your head for he smirked slightly.

Internally, you were freaking the fuck out because holy shit you think you just met Roger fucking Taylor, but externally, you attempted to keep your composure because it didn’t matter who he was, he still grabbed your daughter and he was crazy if he thought you were going to let that slide.

You were frantically trying to think of something, anything, to you say when Rose felt the need to come to your rescue, “Are you Santa?”. When no one said anything because you were both, quite frankly, too stunned to reply, her excitement just grew, “Mummy, look, it’s Santa! Santa saved me!” she turned to look at him and put on her sweetest voice, “Thank you, Santa!”

He sighed, knowing full well he was about to break this poor girl’s heart, and said, “No, I’m not Santa, he lives a long way away.”

She pouted before finding something else that entertained her, “Why are you wearing sunglasses?” she giggled, holding out a hand to try and rip them off of his face and nearly falling out of your arms in the process. You placed her back on the pavement, just to be on the safe side.

He reluctantly took them off and gave them to her, and she grasped them excitedly. She tried to put the sunglasses on, but they were far too big for her, so they just kept sliding off, amusing her to no end.

You forced yourself to look at the man, now you were definitely sure it was Roger and fucking hell you hadn’t expected your day to go anything like the way it had. He raised an eyebrow and you only just clocked that he was still waiting for a reply. “Thank you for stopping her,” you said somewhat sheepishly; now you’d had the chance to think over what he’d actually done, you felt a little guilty for berating him like that. You’d naturally assumed he meant to cause harm somehow, but if he had had such intentions then surely, he wouldn’t have waited for you. He could have run off with Rose, but he didn’t. Naturally, you were still a little wary but while Rose had been interrogating the man over whether or not he was in fact Father Christmas, you had come to the conclusion that he was probably harmless.

*********************

By around lunchtime you had actually carried in everything that you could, so you’d decided that the rest of the day could be a well-earned lazy day. As you expected, Rose had had no objection to that whatsoever, seen as lazy days more often than not meant Disney marathons. You were making a light lunch, knowing that you’d need to save room for sheer amount of popcorn you’d bought from the corner shop, while Rose was picking out a film to start with.

���Mummy, I got one!” she called as you brought your sandwiches into the living room. She was sat by the TV, surrounded by DVDs with one in her hand. She squinted hard at the blurb of the DVD she was holding, as if she was trying to read it, which made you chuckle to yourself. “What are you laughing at?” she looked at you quizzically.

You shook your head slightly, not wanting to burst her little bubble, “Nothing, sweetheart. Which one did you choose?”

She stood up wobbly, coming incredibly close to falling right back down again but only just regaining her balance, “Zootropolis!” she had to say the word very slowly; the word was very hard to say for a four-year-old, even you struggled with it sometimes.

Zootropolis was one of her favourites at the moment, second only to Tangled, so you weren’t all that surprised by her choice. This would have been the fourth or fifth time watching it so far that month alone, and you were only about halfway through January. The joys of having a child, you thought wryly to yourself. Not that you’d ever complain to Rose. Besides, you’d much rather Zootropolis to Frozen, which you didn’t think you could ever watch again after being subjected to hearing Let It Go every day for weeks and then much longer in your head.

“Ah, good choice,” you said as she thrust the DVD in front of your face. You put the sandwiches down on the coffee table and took the DVD from her, “Why don’t you go and get a couple of your toys to watch the film with us while I set it up? Maybe you could get Nick and Judy.”

Her eyes positively lit up at the idea and she raced off to find them. You’d gone to Oxford Street just before Christmas to see all the lights and Christmas decorations, which then turned into going to the Disney store, which led into incessant begging from Rose to get one of the Zootropolis plushies. You’d ended up compromising, meaning she could get two of her choice, but she couldn’t play with them until Christmas. So now, any excuse to play with them was a good excuse and was guaranteed to keep her entertained for hours on end.

You had just put the disc in the TV when you heard the buzz signalling that someone was at the door. You were a little puzzled; you’d only just moved into this flat, how on earth did someone already have your address? You made your way to the door and held the button on the receiver, allowing you to talk to whoever was there, “Hello?”

“Hi, is this (Y/N)?” an unfamiliar female voice asked, only adding to your confusion.

“Yeah, who’s asking?”

“Well, my name’s Sarina, I think you met my husband this morning?”

A few minutes later, Sarina and Roger were sitting on your sofa with a cup of tea each, with you on the one-seater in front of the window, rhythmically pointing and relaxing your toes, a habit from dancing ballet pretty much every day for about fifteen years. It was around then when you started thinking about how weird this day was turning out to be. First, Roger Taylor saves your daughter’s life, then you give him your address even though you were sure you had no memory of that, and then him and his wife turn up to your flat for no apparent reason other than to have a chat.

You heard Rose’s obnoxiously loud footsteps run down the corridor and once she got to the living room, she stopped dead in her tracks. She had her arms full with soft toys but dropped them all when she noticed your visitors, “Mummy, look it’s not-really-Santa!” she pointed, face lit up with glee at meeting her saviour once again. Then she noticed Sarina and pouted with confusion, “Who are you? Are you not-really-Mrs-Claus?”

“Darling, we told you he’s not actually Santa,” you lightly chastised her.

Rose just looked at you as if she was trying to be patronising, “I know, that’s why I said, ‘not really’!”

Sarina only laughed and said, “My name’s Sarina, I’m Roger’s wife.”

Rose just looked even more baffled than before, “Roger? Who’s Roger?”

Roger waved awkwardly, having not said anything the whole time he’d been there.

A quiet ‘ohhhh’ came from Rose, but her attention quickly returned to her dropped toys, which she promptly rescued from the floor and popped onto your lap. You raised an eyebrow at the pile and looked back at your daughter, “That’s quite a few toys, darling.”

Rose grinned cheekily, “Well, I got Judy and Nick because they’re in the movie but then I thought that my other animals would be sad that I left them out so I got Dumbo, Minnie and Mushu and then I got Rapunzel because she’s my favourite and she loves Pascal and he’s a chame-,” she stopped, understandably struggling with the word.

“Chameleon,” you whispered to try and help her out.

“Yeah, that,” she giggled, not even trying to say it. You put it down to having new people over who she wanted to impress so you made a mental note to help her with it later on.

You turned back to your guests, forgetting momentarily that they were even there, something which you often did while talking to Rose, “Sorry, we were just about to watch Zootropolis as a sort of ‘well done’ for moving all of our stuff inside in one morning.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, we didn’t mean to interrupt or anything, we just wanted to, well, welcome you to the neighbourhood, I guess. We live just down the road from here,” Sarina justified, and suddenly their surprise visit made so much more sense. You were infinitely grateful as even though it wasn’t like you had no friends at all who lived in London, it couldn’t hurt to have some close by.

“No, don’t apologise, it’s really sweet of you both, thank you so much,” you smiled at them both.

Roger then decided to speak up for the first time since he got there, and you were still wondering why he was being so shy, “Listen, is there anything we can do to help you out at all? I know moving house can be a pretty big deal so if we can help you with anything then do say.”

Your instant thought was to say that you were fine, that you’d be able to manage. You weren’t one to ask for help unless it was absolutely necessary, and even then, it was difficult for you. But once you considered it for a moment, you remembered that you had a full day of classes and rehearsals tomorrow, Rose didn’t start at her new pre-school until next week and you hadn’t booked a childminder or a babysitter. You looked at the couple on your sofa, kind and eager to help, and finally opened your mouth to speak, “I have work tomorrow. Is there any chance you could look after Rose for the day?”

******************

“I promise I’ve almost got it; I just need to get the footing right after the grand jete,” you reached for your water bottle, “I’m not sure why I can’t land properly.”

“I think it’s because you’re making the chaines more aggressive than they need to be. If you take a gentler approach, then you can put more energy into how you jump and then how you land,” Samantha, the ballet mistress of the company, suggested.

You pulled your fuchsia leg warmers right up to the tops of your legs and tried again, this time taking Samantha’s advice. You landed perfectly flat on your right foot, unfolding straight away and placing your arms in fourth on impulse. You pointed your index fingers as part of your character’s variation which, as it differed from the traditional ballet hand, still took some getting used to.

The Sleeping Beauty would be your first performance since being promoted to a Soloist, and you had received the role of the Fairy of The Golden Vine, meaning you had your own solo in the prologue. You obviously wanted to do really well, you wanted to prove to both the audience and to the other dancers that you deserved the role and the position in the company, despite the little gremlin back at home who was also known as your daughter.

You absolutely adored the name you had chosen for your angel. Rose. The flower thrown onto the stage at the end of a performance which more often than not ended up in a vase on the kitchen windowsill. The colour of the leotard you rehearsed in. The rose-coloured glasses that all children wore at some point in their young lives when they were oblivious and innocent. The colour of optimism, love, joy. The word rose, in and of itself, had so many positive connotations for you, which was exactly what you had needed when you had been expecting her.

Samantha broke you free from your daydream, “Well, we have about half an hour left, is there anything else you wanted to look at before the show tomorrow night?”

It still had yet to sink in for you that the first of eight performances was tomorrow. You hadn’t given it much thought because you didn’t want it to stress you out. Especially when you had other things to worry about, like polishing your part in Act III. Which reminded you, “Could we go over the wedding scene?” you asked sheepishly.

********************

You lightly knocked on the door, looking at your phone yet again to check the address. You rubbed your hands together to fight the bitter cold of winter evenings, suddenly regretting not wearing gloves. A forget-me-not blue sky hung overhead, already getting dark even though it wasn’t even five o’clock yet. The pristine door in front of you opened after a few seconds of waiting, but what you were not expecting, however, was for Dr Brian May, guitarist for Queen, arguably the best in the world, astrophysicist and animal rights activist, to answer the door with pen all over his face, “Ah, hello, you must be (Y/N).”

“Err, yeah, hi,” you nervously chuckled, a little starstruck at the man in front of you.

“Mummy?” a small, uncertain called out, soon accompanied by an awfully familiar face peeking out through the doorway to the living room.

“Hello, sweetheart,” you crouched down to be eye level with Rose, holding out your arms as an invitation for a hug.

“Mummy!” she quite literally took it with open arms and the brightest smile you had ever seen plastered on her face.

“Did you have a nice time, princess?” you asked between soft kisses pressed to her head.

This launched her into a fit of giggles and she only just managed to gasp out, “I’m not the princess, Roger’s the princess!”

You stood up with Rose sitting comfortably on your hip, “Is he now? Then who are you?” you bopped her nose with each of the last three words.

Of course, more light-hearted laughter ensued, “I’m the queen! And Brian’s the royal ad-” she stumbled on the last word and pouted, only for the man in question to whisper something in her ear and for her to shout, “Advisor! And Brian’s the royal advisor! Can I show you the kingdom?”

You set her down on the floor carefully and curtseyed like you would at the end of a show, “Lead the way, your most royal highness!” You exchanged a curious glance with Brian and followed your now running daughter into the living room.

To the ordinary person, the living room would appear to be in a state of total and utter chaos. Dining room chairs held up bedsheets, forming a makeshift tent in the centre of the room. Pillows were scattered around the fort, along with seemingly ancient colouring books, with pages the colour of buttermilk, washable pens and sweet wrappers that had yet to be picked up.

Rose dived in, luckily into Roger’s arms rather than the wooden floor. He swept her up into the air, the girl squealing with excitement, before returning her safely to the ground. “Roggie, you’re silly!” she smiled sweetly at him, making his face flood with the red of embarrassment.

“Roggie?” you laughed at his expression and sat down on the other side of Rose, sandwiching her between you and Roger. You were secretly loving how much humiliation could be brought on by a four-year-old child.

Roger looked desperate to salvage whatever was left of his dignity, “Well at least it’s not as bad as ‘Bri Bri’!”

Brian just scratched his head awkwardly and took a seat opposite you all, “I thought it was cute.”

You just chuckled at the state of them both; usually it was you who felt like that, more often than not it was when you brought Rose to work with you, so you found it rather amusing to have someone else on the receiving end of your daughter’s jokes.

Brian cleared his throat, clearly wanting to change the subject as soon as possible, “Mind if I take a picture? You guys look pretty cute in there.”

“By all means,” you agreed, knowing that you had to get a picture too. You were almost guaranteed to tell your friends about this later and they wouldn’t believe you without some kind of proof.

He pulled his phone out of his trouser pocket and quickly snapped a photo of you all in your rather adorable tent. He put his glasses on to examine the image and, with a satisfied nod, leaned over to show it to you, “I’d put it on Instagram but with Rose’s age…”

“Well, I don’t have a problem with it,” you said. It was such a sweet photo, you thought it would be a shame to not share it with people, though you figured that might be the performer in you speaking. It was the nature of the job; the performing arts were, at their core, just complex forms of storytelling. You turned to Rose, deciding that she should have a say on the matter, “Darling, would you be alright if Brian put that picture of us on Instagram? A lot of people would see it,” you warned.

She just beamed up at you, “Yeah because then lots of people can see the kingdom I made with Roggie and Bri Bri!”

You just laughed at her and pulled her into a hug while Brian posted the photo onto his account. You froze when your phone vibrated mere seconds later. It’s fine. You could just play it off. Maybe a friend texted you or-

“Mummy, look, your phone lit up!” a girl with sweet and innocent intentions somehow managed to flood you with embarrassment and suddenly you felt bad for laughing at Roger and Brian earlier.

Fuck.

You looked at her with the fakest possible smile and said, “Thank you, darling.”

“Is somebody a fan, then?” Roger taunted, not helping the situation whatsoever and instead making you want to throw your phone out of the nearest window and then you along with it.

Of course you were a bloody fan, why else would you get a notification when Brian posted on Instagram? “You see, it’s a long story, I err, just got, um, a text from one of my friends about the show tomorrow?” It came out as more of a question than an answer.

Brian and Roger exchanged a knowing look before muttering to themselves that you were ‘definitely a fan’ and ‘who do you think you’re kidding’.

To hide yourself as much as humanly possible, you decided to open the app and check the post. It turned out that you weren’t the only one who had the post-notifications turned on. Other fans were already beginning to shower it with likes and comments, and you were intrigued as to what people were saying.

Who is the little girl?? She’s so cute 💖💖

Yes we stan Bri and Rog being grandads

Is it me or does she look like that dancer from the Royal?

How someone had worked out that last one, you would never know.

Brian, being the saint that he was, decided to save you from your shame, “Rose mentioned that you’re a ballet dancer,” he smiled, finally starting to clear up the mess of wrappers and pens.

“Did she now?” you asked playfully, bopping her nose much to her delight before helping Brian out.

“You any good?” Roger asked.

“Well, I’d hope so seen as it’s my job,” you joked.

Roger’s brows furrowed instantly, “Wait, it’s your job?”

You nodded, giggling slightly, “Yeah, I’ve danced professionally for about 5 years-”

“Mummy, that’s older than me!” Rose interrupted, mouth open in bewilderment.

“Yes, sweetheart, that is older than you, but remember to wait for your turn to speak, OK?” you reminded her. You’d been working on that for a little while and she was mostly getting the hang of it, although she slipped up every now and then as you’d expect from a four-year-old.

“Sorry, Mummy,” she apologised in a singsong voice.

“Thank you, my darling,” you kissed her head and pulled her in for a hug, “Anyway, I dance with the Royal Ballet down in Covent Garden. I just got promoted to a Soloist so I’m starting to get better roles than I was before.”

“So, what have you been doing today?” Brian asked, eyes bright with the same curiosity you saw in Rose from time to time.

“Well, I had my warm-up class at nine, then my technical one at eleven. I’d usually have another class or physio but we’re opening The Sleeping Beauty tonight, so I was in rehearsals for that all afternoon. Oh, and we had a final costume fitting just after lunch,” you counted them on your fingers, smiling bashfully when you were met with looks of bewilderment and awe.

“And you’ve got to do a whole performance too?” Roger asked incredulously.

“Yeah, I mean technically I should still be at the Opera House to eat my dinner but I had to come and get this little munchkin first,” you tickled Rose, her adorable giggles filling the room.

When you finally showed her mercy and ceased the tickles, she said, “I get to watch Mummy dance from the side!”

You quickly filled Roger and Brian in when they shot you looks of confusion, “She means the wings. I can’t afford to hire a babysitter for every performance I do so she gets to watch for free. Besides, she loves it, sometimes we dance together backstage when I’m not needed seen as the music’s loud enough.”

“Forgive me for asking,” Brian began warily, and you were already dreading the question that was sure to follow, “But why isn’t there anyone else to babysit her for the evening?”

Ah, the wonderful question that was asked of you nearly every time you met someone. You quickly shot him a look of not in front of Rose, and thank God he understood, for he nodded and sent you a smile as an apology. You turned Rose around so she was facing you instead of leaning against your front and said, “Darling, we have to go in a minute so why don’t you run and grab your toys, OK?”

She jumped up and ran off, hopefully to find her belongings, always oblivious and you hoped she’d stay that way for quite some time.

You took a deep breath and finally answered Brian’s question, “Rose’s father and I split up when she was two, and none of my family live in London,” you shrugged; Rose’s dad was still a bit of a touchy subject. Understanding washed over the both of them immediately, and suddenly you remembered they had both gone through the same thing.

Brian quickly changed the subject yet again, somehow sensing that you weren’t feeling all too comfortable, “Do you think we could come and watch one of your shows? We could bring Rose with us and that way you won’t have to worry about her being backstage.”

“That’s so sweet of you, thank you. I don’t think I can get you tickets for tonight but I probably can for tomorrow if that’s alright?” you smiled at his enthusiasm, especially considering you had only known him for about twenty minutes at the most. Roger didn’t seem as excited, though you were expecting that because, if you remembered correctly, he wasn’t a huge fan of musical theatre and ballet wasn’t far from that.

*********************

It was around one o’clock in the morning and even though you were yawning what felt like every ten seconds, you somehow found yourself sitting on your bed, scrolling mindlessly through your phone. You knew that you should be settling down, Rose had gone to bed about an hour ago and you normally followed not long after, but you weren’t quite ready yet. With every passing minute, you would be feeling even more regret tomorrow, but it felt as though something was physically stopping you from sleeping.

“Mama?” a small, tired voice called from the doorway. You never closed your bedroom door all the way for this exact reason. Rose shyly tottered into the room, dragging her blanket on the floor behind her and hugging her stuffed dragon toy with her other arm, “Mama?”

You placed your phone on a cardboard box full of things you had yet to unpack and gestured for her to climb into your bed, “What’s up, sweetness?” she clambered into your arms and you shuffled back to lean on the wall behind you. Her cheeks were damp against your shoulder and your heart leapt into your mouth, “Hey bubba, it’s OK, you’re OK, I’ve got you.”

Tiny sobs escaped her mouth and you rocked her gently, patiently waiting for her to calm down. Fortunately, it was only a matter of minutes before her crying ceased. You took this opportunity to gently approach the subject of what had caused all of this, “Did you have a nightmare, darling?”

She nodded, keeping her movements and voice as small as she could, as if someone was confining every part of her, “Daddy.”

You took a breath to ground yourself because fuck you didn’t want her to have to deal with your mistakes and said, trying to keep the tremor out of your voice, “What happened with Daddy?”

She rubbed her eye with a tiny hand and murmured, “You. Daddy. Loud.”

You tried to put the pieces together, assuming that you’d been arguing with him. This happened when she was scared, or sad, she would act like she was two instead of four, which restricted her language especially. You supposed acting younger was a comfort to her. When you’d split up with her father, you’d hoped to God that she was too young to remember any of the arguments she’d overheard. You and him had been a classic case of ‘settling down far too quickly’. Rose had been an accident and simultaneously the one to show that the both of you weren’t thinking any of it through at all. He’d walked out after the biggest fight that you’d had, and you were quite grateful for it, if you were honest.

“Me and Daddy didn’t get on very well, darling,” you explained, “You won’t ever see him again, I promise. And I won’t be loud like that, OK?” You felt her nod against your chest, and you could feel her settling down already, “Did you want to sleep in Mummy’s bed tonight?”

She perked up at your suggestion; sleeping in your bed was always a treat reserved for special occasions, and you despised the thought of making her go back to bed by herself. “Please, please, please, Mama? I like your bed, it’s soft and warm and snuggly.”

You responded by turning off your phone and the lamp on your bedside table, and tucking you both in, still cradling her against your chest like a baby. You wondered as she already began to drift off, if it had really been procrastination that had been stopping you from going to sleep earlier, or if it was just a mother’s instinct. Or if you were just thinking that to try and make yourself feel better about yourself.

**********************

Backstage was even more alive with excitement that evening. Someone had seen Brian and Roger in the foyer and word had quickly spread, though you hadn’t said a word on the subject to avoid the rush of inevitable questions. It would make the tabloid headlines by tomorrow morning; you could guarantee that.

The whirlwind rush of backstage never changed, and secretly you hoped it would always stay that way. It was absolute chaos, someone’s pointe shoes had gone soft, or someone’s lost a bit of their costume, or someone’s tights had ripped. It was strange compared to the scene of calm and serenity seen on stage; it was as if each dancer was put under a spell of some sort the moment they stepped out of the wings. While most would find the constant change of environments unnerving, you quite liked it, it kept you on your toes better than the pointe shoes on your feet.

It was a tad strange not having to chase after Rose every five seconds, tonight she was out in the audience for the first time ever. You’d never thought to take her to watch a ballet, she’d seen basically every show in the Royal’s repertoire from the wings, sometimes more enthralled by what went on behind the scenes than the dancing itself. She was forever trying to help anyone who needed it, usually it was looking over a costume or a hairstyle and pointing out anything that was out of place. It was one of the only times people were grateful for the brutal honesty that came with her youth. When she wasn’t doing that, she’d sit somewhere where she could watch the performance through the wings with a sticker book to keep her occupied during the ‘boring bits’, or she’d sleep on the sofa you’d asked Heather to put in place for exactly that reason.

You always felt guilty about making her stay awake so late, considering evening performances didn’t end until around eleven o’clock at night, meaning she wasn’t in bed until just before midnight. Luckily, it wasn’t most nights as you didn’t perform every night, and you had asked to not do as many evening performances as possible, making up for it by doing almost every matinees available. However, that didn’t stop your heart from breaking slightly every time you saw Rose yawn as a result of the lack of sleep. You just didn’t have any other options, until tonight that was. And in secret you were hoping that Brian and Roger would be able to help out again, though you’d never bring it up with them.

You shook yourself back to reality when Meaghan, the dancer in front of you, made her entrance, meaning you had to step forwards, ready for your own. The fairies had to line up in the wings and you were the last one to go on and dance your solo before the Lilac Fairy. You watched Meaghan dance, adrenaline coursing through your veins as it always would just before an entrance, and her beautifully danced solo was done in what felt like thirty seconds rather than two minutes. You took a deep breath and ran on when you heard your cue, plastering a smile on your face that was real for the most part.

You felt the music flood every corner of your mind. You didn’t even have to think about the steps you were dancing, letting muscle memory take control. You lost yourself in the beauty of the music, and in the beauty of yourself. You knew you looked like a real fairy, you sure felt like one, and you hoped that at least one child out there in the audience was watching you and thinking wow I want to be able to do that. You ran over in your head literally everything you knew about ballet, every little piece of advice you’d ever been given, something you probably should have done backstage but that didn’t matter because there you were. You were dancing on your own, all eyes on you, and you relished in the attention that you’d usually shy away from. If that is what it felt like every time you performed on your own, then fuck you were hungry for more. It was over in what felt like a heartbeat but also an eternity, and you ran over to your place further downstage.

Now you had the opportunity to pause for a moment, you took it to scan over the audience, though it was in pure vain as they were obscured by darkness. You supposed it helped dancers with stage fright, though you couldn’t help but wonder why you’d become a dancer if your stage fright was that bad. It was no longer a problem for you, but it had been helpful when you danced on that stage for the first time, especially considering you had only been a teenager when you first started performing with the Royal. You had to admit that you were trying to find Rose, Brian and Roger, knowing they were out there somewhere, watching with wonder in their eyes. You forced yourself to give up with that particular challenge; it was a rookie mistake to try to find loved ones in an audience. You just hoped they recognised you from wherever they were seated.

Elation just ran wild through your veins and you couldn’t stop the blush of pride filling your cheeks, not that you wanted to. This was the reason you danced, for the childlike joy that it brought you, the kind of glee that was the cause of each and every one of Rose’s giggles. It was pointe-shoe pink, it was ice cream on a hot day, it was a butterfly flying past you. It was ephemeral, blink and you’d miss it, but the hangover feeling of sheer bliss, that was the reason you danced.

You were hardly conventional, you knew that. A young single mother, a ballet dancer who had been promoted to a Soloist in her early twenties and living in London of all places. You were a ballet dancer, dancing to the melody of her own piano and to hell with anyone who said that you couldn’t.

[notsolstice]

Hey!! So that post about wayward son (after realizing not the song) made me monkey side-eye my bookcase to the two novels on my bookshelf and I googled what ppl's beef w her is and long story short, books are in the garbage lol. I literally only bought them bc of the Kevin wada art and never got around to reading them, so yeah waste of money, but no skin off my nose. That being said, you got any recs for some good books?? I don't think I have a particular preference, but I'd def prefer non-fiction (I get enough of real life from daily news articles tbh). If it's too much work, don't hesitate to trash this ask, but I just thought I'd give it a shot since u seem well read and I literally don't think I've read anything extensively since I hyperfixated on the Sherlock Holmes anthology for 16 hours straight lol

oh hell yeah successfully tricked someone else into thinking i am well-read

and oh yeah i know i joke but yea don’t read rainbow rowell’s books because it doesn’t matter how many beautiful covers she gets from a collab with a high profile asian american artists there’s no excusing her first mess of a book. plus the fact that they’re apparently making a movie (???) she’s really not trying to apologize or rehab her image very well lol

BUT ANYWAYS idk if you meant fiction instead of non-fiction but if you’re after non-fiction unfort I will not be of much help since I’ve read like, 2 non-fiction books in the last 10 years and I almost exclusively read genre fiction so apologies in advance if this list is useless 2 u. also just fyi i don’t really read modern YA because I’m a crotchety grandmother so if you are looking for YA that is more woke then I will also not be of much help here. and don’t read the raven cycle no matter what tumblr tells u

the southern reach trilogy by jeff vandermeer. the books are probably my all-time favorite sci-fi literature ever, although calling them sci-fi is probably not accurate. more like magical realism science fiction? first book starts with a team of all-women scientists exploring an area that is hostile to humans on behalf of a shady institution and things get weird from there. the second book drags a bit but it is SO worth it trust me. don’t watch the movie

piranesi by susanna clarke. this is her most recent book, and I’m reccing it instead of her first book, jonathan strange & mr norrell because piranesi is a quick read compared to jsamn which is 800 damn pages long and dense as HELL and probably a little intimidating if you’re out of practice reading. however I do also recommend that if you have the patience.

DISCWORLD by terry pratchett. the discworld series is actually about like 50 books or something ridiculous and ugh ok I was trying to keep this not intimidating but it’s so worth it I promise. dw was a foundational text to my sense of humor which, actually hm. that might not be the best endorsement but whatever. it started out as just a parody/satire of those trashy fantasy books from the 70s-80s but it expanded into its own universe. also you may know it if you watched/read good omens, sir terry was the other co-author besides neil gaiman. you do not have to read them in chronological publishing order btw, they’re actually more like comics, where you can pick a character/set of characters and read their series within the larger canon. there are a lot of reading order lists out there so it’s pretty easy to pick one and start, but I can definitely help more if u want!!!

salt: a world history by mark kurlansky. ok this is a non-fiction book I just picked up and it is very interesting despite the title but this has exhausted my recs for non-fiction i’m sorry. or you can read the giant book about cancer the emperor of all maladies which was great but wiped me out on non-fiction for about a decade

the matthew swift series by kate griffin. i think it’s got some other fancy name as a series title but i literally cannot remember it right now oh well. not the highest brow of Great Literature but i loved this series about a sad man brought back from the dead to do magic with garbage bins and telephone booths. and it’s a series of books about adults doing magic but in no way can it be described as “harry potter for grownups” so that earns it points immediately

wilder girls by rory power. oh wait I did read one YA book that I liked!!!!! this is kind of similar to jeff vandermeer’s writing, although a little less intense. there’s a lot of body horror and feral teenage girls and is delightful to read if you were at any point in your life a feral teenage girl

the starless sea by erin morgenstern. skirting the edge of YA with this one but it was fun and gay and what you should read instead of wayward sons. or just read some spn fanfic i got recs for that too

I have a lot more books I’m trying to read now but I feel like this is a decent place to stop before I start recommending chuck palahniuk and embarrassing myself with my cishet male taste

[thegreatlibraryfangirl]

Femslash February Plans

Ah, it’s been a while since I’ve subjected you all to a good “Overly Ambitious Plan”

So. I think the fandom is starving for f/f content - mainly because there are very few main female characters, and one of them has died and another lots of us headcanon as aroace (as well as potentially not female)

Solution this: scrape it for minor characters lol. After a bit of help on the Discord, I’ve come up with the following 20 ships. 

(At the moment, I’m intending to do 100-word drabbles for them, unless I get more inspired.)

Zara/Alamasi

Who are these characters? Santi’s second-in-command lieutenants. Zara also becomes acting Captain when Nic leaves, and Alamasi also ends up in the Iron Tower being mean to Morgan before appearing in a larger role in Sword and Pen. 

Vague plot ideas? This wants to be the two of them about Nic. Probably sex.  Hate-fuck? Fantasising having Nic with them? Comforting Zara? Idk. Could be pre-series, otherwise it’ll be during Ash and Quill, after Nic has ‘defected’ but before Alamasi goes to the Iron Tower in Smoke and Iron. 

Khalila/Morgan

Who are these characters? You know these ones! 

Vague plot ideas? I don’t actually have any specific ideas for these two. Might do Modern AU, or Morgan Lives AU where she and Khalila are in charge together. Or sad ghost dreams, idk, idk.

Khalila & Glain (queerplatonic partnership)

Who are these characters? You know these ones too. Though here is the place to put that I headcanon Glain firmly as aroace and probably non-binary. 

Vague plot ideas? Fluff, if I can. just these two bonding and loving each other. PS please do tell me if QPP is outdated now, most of the ace and definitely all the  aro blogs I used to follow have vanished from tumblr.  

Annis/Morgan

Who are these characters? Morgan, we know. Annis is an Obscurist, who was best friends with Wolfe’s mother Keria Morning. She helps Morgan out in Smoke and Iron and dies in Sword and Pen and will definitely be appearing in future fics. #AnnisLives

Vague plot ideas? Prooooobably Sin-verse sex between the two of them in Smoke and Iron. 

Morgan/Gargi

Who are these characters? Gargi appears in Sword and Pen, she’s a long-dead woman with Obscurist powers who still lives on in some form in the ring that Morgan puts on. 

Her canon timeline is extremely glitched, thank you Caine. Dates include >5000 years ago, or after 200AD, and she’s called both Archivist and Obscurist Magnus at different points. I prefer to just use Wikipedia. 

And maybe one day I’ll write something about how the Library tries to assimilate all the great minds of different cultures into itself. 

Vague plot ideas? Them getting to know each other inside the ring, probably. Time travel, memory stuff, probably. Probably sex, but I’ll just see how it goes, I might have too much fun with storytelling. 

Morgan/Sybilla 

Who are these characters? Sybilla is an Obscurist who appears in Paper and Fire. She falls in love with Morgan during the six months Morgan spends there. confesses her feelings to Morgan, and Morgan “felt awful” about telling her “I couldn’t be with her.” Morgan promised to help her, but then ran away without telling her. Sybilla tried to commit suicide, but is survives. 

This, btw, is the reason why for ages I head-canoned Morgan as straight. There are lots and lots of possible interpretations for why she ‘couldn’t’, including, y’know, just not wanting to lead a friend on, but my brain fixated on the Straight. Lol. 

Vague plot ideas? It demands a decent length fic, actually, tbh, but I won’t. This will be angsty and probably retrospective, whatever I do with it. Also, someone should write Jess and Sybilla bonding over their grief. 

Keria/Gargi (Archivist Khalila/Gargi?)

Who are these characters? Keria Morning is Wolfe’s mother, the Obscurist Magnus before her death at the end of Paper & Fire. Gargi I’ve addressed. 

Vague plot ideas? There’s a reason Khalila is wedged in here too - my idea is probably best summarised as “Someone shouldn’t have put the ring on, Gargi decides to chat rather than either ignore them or fry their brains”

There is a possible alternate/additional, which is Keria ending up in the ring, too. Idk. 

Khalila/Anit

Who are these characters? Might people not know Anit?? She’s a fellow book-smuggler, fellow heir to a smuggling throne. Kills her father to save Jess, helps them hunt the Archivist in Sword and Pen. Wants to set up a bookshop with Jess at the end of the series. I love her a lot. 

Vague plot ideas? Genuinely no idea. I have an old PWP series for these two. Maybe they will just play chess and flirt. Idk. We’ll see. 

Khalila/Parker

Who are these characters? Parker ... well, to copy from the notes of the  Kinktober fill I did for these two: 

Scholar Medica Parker only appears for two pages in chapter thirty of Smoke and Iron.

Why did I pick her? Because Khalila describes her in a very unusually intense and poetic way (quoted below), and I henceforth decided that Khalila is experiencing an IMMEDIATE crush on the older woman. And now I ship them.

"She was a commanding older woman with sweeping walnut hair, eyes the colour of the open sea, and an attitude that Khalila could best liken to that of an angry, wounded lion. She took Wolfe's letter, ripped it open with a sharply pointed fingernail lacquered crimson, and read the contents once rapidly, then twice slowly, before she spoke."

Vague plot ideas? This is almost certainly going to be a journal entry, for Khalila to rhapsodise some more. Unless I get inspired to write them more porn and make it a long thing. Idk. 

Annis/Keria 

Who are these characters? Already covered. 

Vague plot ideas? Sex. Probably. Or angst. Or angsty sex. Wait, these are supposed to be drabbles. Can I write smut snippets in 100 words??? Who knows?

Annis/Naomi

Who are these characters? Naomi Ebele is a librarian who appears in Oxford in Ink and Bone and then later in ... can’t be bothered to check, in London? at the end of Paper and Fire. Both times in a Serapeum under attack, poor thing. 

Vague plot ideas? I mainly just think she needs something to go right for  a change. Uncomplicated sex with Annis, who delights in such things? 

Vargas/Greta

Who are these characters? Carole Vargas is the new Litterae Magnus as of Sword and Pen (described as large, dour, South American), and Greta Jones is the new Artifex Magnus. 

Vague plot ideas? Idk, but I ship these two. Maybe just a date. Maybe they’ll grumble about work. I’ll think of something. 

Khanna/Dudik

Who are these characters? Now we’re getting into the realm of reeeeaaaaally minor characters. These two appear only in one chapter of Ink and Bone, and appear to have been tasked with keeping Jess away from Morgan’s carriage once she’s been captured by the Obscurist Magnus. Rijuta Khanna is described as a small Indian woman, with black hair tied elaborately at the crown of her head, and her companion is Yeva Dudik, “taller, broader and with an east-Asian cast to her features ... watchful pale eyes in a sharp-featured face.” 

Vague plot ideas? None yet, we’ll see. They seem fun, though. On-page banter!

Anit/Katja

Who are these characters? Anit, I’ve covered. Katja appears in two scenes in Sword and Pen as a Scandinavian ‘lieutenant’ of Anit’s - but  you might  remember her better if I say she’s the one that, out of nowhere, Jess decides he’d really like to fuck. And I do mean fuck. 

Vague plot ideas? No idea, yet. 

Morgan/Izumi 

Who are these characters? Izumi is one of the Ptolemy House postulants. She makes it through most of the course or whatever you want to call it, and then can’t do Translation, so fails. Very unfair. 

Vague plot ideas? Idek, I just think these two would be cute. It’s Morgan, so it’ll have to be an AU of some sort unless I set it in Ptolemy House. 

Izumi/Sybilla 

Who are these characters? Already covered. 

Vague plot ideas? I really like the idea of these two getting Very Far Away from the Library and bumping into each other. 

Historical Murasaki 

Who are these characters? Another incredibly minor character.  I’ll let Khalila explain. This is from Smoke and iron, chapter 19:

“Do you know the poet Murasaki Hiroko?”

“She wrote poems to her lover, but her lover was another married woman, and at the time the Curia deemed them unfit for publication. When she protested, they told her to destroy the work. She refused, and wrote more poems calling for the  end of censorship by the Great Library. I read them. They were  rotting in the Black Archives. If you don’t know of her, it is because she was simply ... erased.”

Vague plot ideas? Journal entry? Curia censorship letter? Something like that. 

Indira/Kate

Who are these characters? Indira is the soldier/guard, something, put in charge of the pack when they are taken to Philadelphia. Kate Hannigan is a Burner who takes the pack to Philadelphia. 

Vague plot ideas? I liked Indira as a character. Might have her fighting with Kate over a point of ideology or something. 

Helva/Ariane Daskalakis

Who are these characters? Helva is a recruit in Glain and Jess’ training squad in Paper and Fire. On a training exercise (in which the Archivist makes an attempt on Wolfe’s life and anyone else around) Helva is bitten by a cobra and taken off by the Medicas. 

Ariane is in the Serapeum prison alongside Wolfe in Smoke and Iron, and is in some way unwell. 

Vague plot ideas? Idk. Brain is just like: Hey, look, soldiers who got injured!! Let’s smoosh them together!!

Naomi/Celia

Who are these characters? Naomi I’ve covered. Celia is Jess Brightwell’s mother. (Also called Charity in Ink and Bone.) 

Vague plot ideas? None. I blame @rosalind-of-arden​ entirely for this ship. 

Naomi/Neska (A&Q)

Who are these characters? Naomi, already covered. Neska is the silver-band Scholar, the Archivist’s assistant, who Brendan falls in love with. She is murdered by the Artifex? Archivist? Can’t remember, at the end of Smoke and Iron.

Vague plot ideas? I do have a specific concept for this: during the period covered by Ash and Quill, Neska is angry about Brendan fucking off without a word, and Naomi is having somewhat of a moral crisis caused by the idea that Scholar Wolfe might have turned to the Burners (since when she last saw him, he was indeed in the company of Burners.) They kind of work off frustrations on each other. Could be sex, could be letters, could be just an intense chat in the dinner hall or Library gardens. Idk.

So there we go! 

[jcmorrigan]

So... Did you hear about the new TWEWY game coming out yet?

Oooohhhh boy. Neo. I have heard about Neo, and I’m not happy.

Let me start by saying that Sho Minamimoto is my favorite character. I love him SO much. And every single reason for this lies in his villainy (no matter what a younger, more morality-obsessed me would try to tell you). This is a young rebel who decides he wants to fight God and rule over all dead people in this city. He asserts his dominance by chucking Dadaist trash piles all over the place and going “This is MINE because I put my TRASH here!” He’s an utter slimeball and that’s why he’s ENJOYABLE to me.

 I do not see any of this magic being recaptured so long as he has to play nice with the hero team.

 Maybe he won’t be redeemed. He could be the Token Evil Teammate – though that still wouldn’t allow him as much freedom and fun as his days of roping angels and the FORBIDDEN type of evil encounter monster into a grand conspiracy. Or he could be a Twist Villain, but let’s be real – modern media is never that obvious about who the twist bad guy is.

 (Except No Straight Roads, which understood that a predictable Twist Villain is an effective one. ILSYM NSR. But that studio is considerably smaller than Squenix and can do what it wants, like allowing its voice actors to say a queer ship the fans made is good. Oh, I long for the day when a Squenix developer will actually validate even ONE of our gay ships in FF or KH.)

 The other thing is that I only very recently just checked out A New Day’s scenes. Like, a week ago. Remember when I put up that edit of Coco Atarashi x Symonne from Tales of Zestiria? That’s the timeframe to mark. Listen. I grew up on old-school TWEWY on the DS. I never played any of the Remixes. So after seeing enough content of Coco on my dash, I was like “I should actually watch the epilogue that has this cool Reaper who pretends to be cute but isn’t” (an archetype I like a lot these days).

 The thing about A New Day is that we live in a post-KHIII world, which kinda affects how I view all of Squenix. A New Day felt like KHIII levels of complication. Not like the “KH is complicated” jokes of old in which it was just long and had lots of continuity so people were like “This is too much to keep track of” (which it wouldn’t have been if they’d packaged the Remix games on the same console from the start, but I digress). As in how in III and the prequel/Daybreak era, Nomura and his crew have started throwing in alternate realities and time travel because they keep getting bored with the plot they’re doing now and want to make it something else. You know what else KHIII did a lot of? Villain redemptions. Vexen, who is even dearer to me than Sho, became not only a hero, but a hero who lost all of his personality. Most fanfics I’ve seen that deal with his redemption at least keep him in character to who Vexen used to be. But canon decided he doesn’t even have a personality anymore, and so you wonder why I’m worried about Sho?

 Also to consider: the fact that KHIII insists on tying itself to TWEWY lore. I just want to forget the worst parts of that game, but canon won’t let me, the fandom won’t let me, and I’m SURE Neo won’t let me. Neo is going to remind me that Sora yeeted himself into the sun because one (1) of his friends was important than the entire collective of the other people who love him and it’s probably going to have to do with him running around somewhere.

 Or it won’t. After all, there’s no hint of that. There’s also no hint it’s going to resolve the cliffhanger from A New Day. Neku is nowhere to be found, even though Sho was supposed to be his partner. Coco is nowhere to be seen. Sho’s existence and the naming of Hype-Chan are the only proof I have that AND is going to be followed up on at all (BTW, “Tsugumi”? Nothing objectively wrong with it; I’m just so deep in the DanganRonpa hole that I will constantly say “Tsumugi” by accident). And maybe the other stuff’s hidden because the crew is guarding spoilers, but those are all plot threads we very clearly expected as of AND, so there’s nothing to spoil if you cut your footage right. It seems so backward to me that we have to design a whole new crew of characters to take over the story to finish a plot that involves Neku somehow. (Though Nomura is designing them and again, he gets bored with what he’s doing so quickly and wants to move onto the next thing, which means he should really just start making different series or oneshots instead of trying to pack it all into one. TWEWY was best when it was a standalone thing with no worry of series rot.)

 It also just feels unfair to me that it has this whole 3D battle system and OG TWEWY just got its 2D system in high-def. Maybe this is because a couple months ago, I was having a chat with a friend about “If you were a game developer, what would you do” and I came up with this whole way to translate the TWEWY UI into the stuff of a fully voice-acted and animated 3D game, and now Neo is halfway there, and obviously the OG could have been translated to this, but it hasn’t been, and you need to understand OG TWEWY in order to get Neo’s plot, so why can’t we streamline them both? REALLY remake OG TWEWY into something that matches its successor? I just love the story and characters of classic TWEWY, and I’d sooner see that all polished up on a new platform and made accessible to a new audience of gamers than just blowing on to a new cast and a plot that I’m really not sure will be good.

 But in the end, if Sho Minamimoto is fun, I’ll be happy, and I’m afraid he won’t be. I’m afraid he’ll either go full antihero or be diluted into “evil, but only in his words” by the ball-and-chain of the party around him. Oh, and did I mention I’m gonna be real mad when we eventually have to deal with how Sora fits into this?

 I do really, really love Sho’s new coat, though. Like…an insane amount. I might actually reblog fanart of him in that coat if people are drawing it because as much as I am not excited for this game, the costume design is already gorgeous.

[scotiaeire]

SEXUALITY. AND OTHER STUFF.

I KNOW THAT RIGHT NOW, EVERYONE SEEMS TO BE FIGHTING TO BE RECOGNISED, AND VALIDATED WHEN IT COMES TO THEIR SEXUALITY AND GENDER.

I’VE A TRANSGENDER LESBIAN DAUGHTER AND SHE TRIES HARD TO EXPLAIN THE MULTITUDE OF WAYS PEOPLE EXPLAIN WHO OR WHAT THEY ARE IN THAT.

AND I PROBABLY WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND IT ALL. CUT ME SOME SLACK THOUGH. I WAS RAISED IN A TIME WHEN YOU HAD STRAIGHT OR GAY AND THAT WAS IT. I’M TRYING TO. BUT I’M THAT “BORING” THING, AN OLD STRAIGHT WOMAN, NOT UP TO DATE WITH MODERN TERMS, LABELS (WHY DO FOLKS NEED THOSE BTW?)

AND HERE’S THE THING THAT PUZZLES ME MOST OF ALL...WHILST I RECOGNISE THE ABSOLUTE RIGHT OF FOLKS TO LIVE WHICHEVER WAY THEY CHOOSE SO LONG AS THEY’RE NOT HARMING OTHERS (POLITICIANS, TAKE FUCKING NOTE YOU BASTARDS!) I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY ANYONE’S SEXUALITY OR GENDER IS ANYONE ELSE’S BUSINESS.

LIVE AND LET LIVE. I’M PROBABLY GONNA COME ACROSS AS JUST AN OLD PRUDE NOW (ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME WILL TELL YOU I’M FAR FROM IT) BUT TBH, SHOULDN’T INTIMACY AND SEX BE PRIVATE? UNLESS YOU’RE INTO PUBLIC ORGIES OR SUCHLIKE...THEN I GUESS PRIVACY ISN’T YOUR THING REALLY.

BUT FOR THE MAJORITY OF US, WHY THE NEED TO JUSTIFY OFFERING YOUR NAME THEN FOLLOWING UP WITH “GAY” “BI” “PANSEXUAL” OR WHATEVER?

DOESN’T THAT ONLY MATTER IF SOMEONE ACTUALLY *ASKS* YOU ABOUT IT? AND IF THEY ARE, WHY AREN’T YOU TELLING THEM TO MIND THEIR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS?

I *KNOW* I’M OLD FASHIONED, BUT HONESTLY, I DON’T MEET PEOPLE, SAY HIYA TO THEM THEN THE FIRST THING I ASK IS “BTW, WHAT’S YOUR SEXUAL PREFERENCE?”

WHEN I MEET GAY LOVERS I DON’T NEED TO ASK THEM. IT’S OBVIOUS. DOESN’T TROUBLE ME IN THE LEAST AND I’M NOT INTERESTED BECAUSE, PEOPLE’S INTIMATE LIVES SHOULD BE JUST THAT...INTIMATE. PRIVATE.

I “GET” THAT MANY FEEL THEY HAVE TO FIGHT FOR THE RIGHT TO *BE* WHAT THEY ARE. AND NO, IT ISN’T A MATTER OF KEEPING YOUR SEXUALITY HIDDEN.

IT’S JUST, YOU’RE SO MUCH MORE AS A PERSON THAN WHO OR HOW YOU MAKE LOVE TO. JUST SAYING. YOU’VE MORE FACETS TO YOU THAN SEXUALITY.

USED TO BE, SOME WOULD INTRODUCE THEMSELVES THEN FOLLOW IT UP WITH “I’M A MUSICIAN/ARTIST/DANCER” WHATEVER, AND YOU COULD GET A DIALOGUE GOING WITH THAT.

BUT TO MEET SOMEONE WHO GREETS YOU WITH “HELLO, I’M ANNA AND I’M ASEXUAL” IS JUST...WELL, WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT? I WASN’T EVEN WONDERING ABOUT WHAT YOUR SEX LIFE WAS LIKE. OR NOT. IT ISN’T SOMETHING I THINK ABOUT. WHEN I MEET NEW FOLKS (ADMITTEDLY, POST LOCKDOWN, THAT’S NOT OFTEN NOW) I’M INTERESTED IN WHO THEY ARE, WHAT THEY LIKE TO DO (SEX ASIDE) AND WHERE THEY’RE FROM, ETC, THAT KINDA THING.

WE’VE COME SO FAR FROM THE DAYS WHEN YOU COULDN’T EVEN MENTION SEX AT ALL EXCEPT IN METAPHORICAL PROSE OR SUCHLIKE.

NOW IT SEEMS IT’S ALL (SORRY FOR THIS...) THRUST IN OUR FACES, ON SHOWS AND SERIES (COUNT THE MINUTES TIL THE FIRST COUPLE FUCKING, REALLY..EVEN IF THE PLOT DOESN’T CALL FOR IT) TO FOLKS INTRODUCING THEMSELVES BY STATING WHAT THEY ARE.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT, LOTS OF US, AYE, EVEN US OLD FARTS, DON’T MIND WHAT YOU ARE AND NEVER GIVE IT A THOUGHT.

AND NO, IT’S NOT BECAUSE WE’RE DEAD FROM THE NECK DOWN.....

IT’S JUST, WHAT HAPPENED TO PRIVACY? MYSTERY? FOLKS MINDING THEIR OWN BUSINESS? WHY DOES THE WHOLE WORLD HAVE TO KNOW?

OK, THAT’S MY SOAPBOX RE SEXUALITY.

THE “OTHER STUFF”?

THE BLACK VS WHITE THING IS GETTING OUT OF HAND.

THE OTHER DAY SOMEONE HAD A GO AT ME BECAUSE I’M WHITE. BECAUSE I’M WHITE, I’M EXPECTED TO SOMEHOW ATONE FOR THE ACTIONS OF WHITE PEOPLE IN THE PAST WHO PARTICIPATED IN THE SLAVE TRADE.

I CAN’T. AND I WOULDN’T. BECAUSE I WOULDN’T PARTICIPATE IN ANY SLAVE TRADE AND I AM NOT GOING TO BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF PEOPLE NO LONGER ALIVE.

I ALSO GOT THE NOW OLD “WHITE PRIVILEGE” SHIT. WELL, I’VE ALREADY BLOGGED ABOUT THAT. I’M WHITE BUT MY LIFE HAS BEEN FAR FROM PRIVILEGED. SO IF I’M GOING TO BE ACCUSED OF IT, PLEASE CAN I HAVE SOME FIRST SO I CAN TRY IT OUT, AT LEAST? BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT FEELS LIKE.

AND AS FOR SLAVERY, THE FOLLOWING LINK IS BUT THE TIP OF AN ICEBERG...https://www.electricscotland.com/history/other/white_slavery.htm

WE ARE ALL A HUMAN SPECIES MADE UP OF RACIAL GROUPS WHO HAVE ALL, AT SOME POINT IN HISTORY, MADE WAR, CONDUCTED SLAVE TRADING AND CONQUERED WEAKER PEOPLES. THAT’S HUMAN NATURE AND FRANKLY, FUCK ALL TO DO WITH RACE.

SO, I MIGHT BE AN AGEING OLD WHITE WOMAN, BUT I’M STILL VOLATILE ENOUGH TO GET RILED UP WHEN I GET ACCUSED OF BEING PART AND PARCEL OF SOMEONE ELSE’S RACIAL AGENDA. BECAUSE TO TELL SOMEONE THEY SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF THEIR CULTURE, HERITAGE AND SKIN COLOUR *IS* RACIST. AND NO, NOT ALL WHITE CULTURE AND HERITAGE HAS BEEN AGAINST OTHER RACES. STATE THAT AND YOU IGNORE CONTRIBUTIONS TO SCIENCE, TECHNOLOGY, ART, MUSIC AND MEDICINE ETC THAT BENEFITS EVERYONE.

IF YOU HAVE A GENUINE GRIEVANCE AGAINST A GROUP OR RACE OF PEOPLE, AIM AT THE CORRECT TARGETS..EITHER RAGE AT THOSE OF THE PAST, LONG DEAD, WHICH IS FUTILE, OR AIM AT THE PEOPLE WHO PERPETUATE THE REASON FOR YOUR GRIEVANCE, WHO TODAY ARE LIKELY TO BE POLITICIANS.

BUT THE BULK OF ORDINARY FOLKS SIMPLY TRYING TO LIVE AND LET LIVE? LAY OFF. JUST AS A PERSON OF COLOUR IS A PRODUCT OF THEIR BIRTH, SO IS A WHITE PERSON.

AND IN THE END, WE’RE ALL JUST PEOPLE. MAYBE WE SHOULD REMEMBER THAT.

RANT OVER. I’M NOT A “RACIST” FOR BEING WHITE. AND BECAUSE I TALK ABOUT MY ANCESTORS AND THEIR CULTURES DOESN’T MAKE ME “RACIST”. END OF.

[magic-owl]

i wish these had numbers to not take up room but alas: what is your absolute favorite ship? what’s a ship you like that most people don’t? what is the most underrated ship, in your opinion? (choose any of your fave pairings for the following bc I'm curious about all your faves) rate [pairing] from 1-10 and explain why. what’s your favorite headcanon of [pairing]? what’s your favorite canon moment of [pairing]? favorite AU ideas for [pairing]? what song(s) remind you of [pairing]?

Thank you my dear! You are my Star Wars Friend so I’ll keep it SW focused (if you wanted to ask this to solely find out what else I liked BESIDES SW sorry lol just let me know and I can redo it). This got long because turns out I have a lot to say about my ships so answers under the cut!!! xD

Absolute favorite ship: This one’s kinda hard but I’m gonna have to go with Obi Wan/Anakin! I also like them a lot as a trio with Padmé, but overall I gotta say these two are just my faves? Why? Because they are such a M E S S and gosh I just love them so much. Ppl say they don’t like each other very much but come on, have you watched the TCW, have you watched RotS, they’re the greatest team there ever was, they’re constantly fretting and worrying about each other, they’re always teasing (the constant banter omg boys pls) at each other and hyping the other up and believing in each other and Ahsoka literally calls them her adoptive guardians in the Ahsoka novel, that’s how much of a family they were and ugh they’re just so married. And they’re such a TRAGEDY and it breaks my heart and it’s delicious to watch because in the final fight it’s just heartbreaking betrayal because through it all they love each other so much and that’s WHY they’re so furious with each other because to them it feels like the ultimate betrayal. Even after (when after everything, Obi Wan still loved Anakin too much to kill him himself) they’re constantly on the other’s mind, and ugh the pain hurts but in such a good way, and how in the end Anakin did the right thing and Obi Wan was RIGHT THERE to help guide him back to the light in spirit and now they can rest happily together for eternity (with some spare stressing about, ya know, Kylo Ren and the impending return of Sidious, but never mind all that). and on top of that, it’s my fave because I also absolutely love their relationship platonically as well, as much as I LIKE to see them together, it’s not necessary for me because they have such an enjoyable dynamic. *coughs* Sorry, so yea, they’re my disaster faves! 😅

A ship I like that most people don’t: See above lol. I get aspects of the Obikin ship can be problematic in the whole power dynamic and age difference thing, but I’ve only ever shipped it after Anakin was knighted as an adult when there’s literally not a problem with it (it was weird for me because I watched the prequels totally out of order. I actually saw the TCW cartoon FIRST and then I saw RotS and then I didn’t watch the first two for a while after that because I was a fool and listened to prequel bashers who said the first two weren’t good, so when I started shipping them as adults that was all I saw them as). To be honest, for the most part the PT fandom is done with the drama since ya know, like a good half of the SW general fandom still hates us, so no one’s really vocal about not liking it and our shipping community is mostly left to ourselves, but every once in a while I’ll come across a joke post/fanart of the two and OP will be all snarky in the notes like “tag as a ship and I’ll come after you with my spiked bat” (someone’s exact words btw) and it’s like ok jeez, do not interact then, was minding my own business dude...

My most underrated ship: Hmmmm....... Gonna have to go between Luke/Ezra and Satine/Padmé. Skybridger I understand since they’ve literally never met in canon, but come ON, they’d get along like a house on fire and argh they should have met, it would be great. I honestly don’t get why Pads and Satine aren’t more of a thing (THEY DON’T EVEN HAVE AN OFFICIAL SHIPNAME ;_; ) cuz c’mon they’re the subtler explosive yin to Obi and Ani’s wildfire yang. They get along great and work together really well, and they both seem to have a type. I am doing them a little better in my new OT4 fic, and I hope ppl like it!!! Ya know what, I’m also gonna add Kaeden (cute girl from the Ahsoka novel!) and Ahsoka because even if a lot of ppl actually ship them, they hardly have any content and neED MORE DANGIT THEY WERE SO CUTE!!!!!!!

Gonna go with Obikin for all the following ones cuz I haven’t had the chance to gush about my boys in a while and you’ve opened Pandora’s box

Rate them from 1-10: 10, plus a hundred more points because I love them, then subtract that hundred again cuz Anakin is an gotdang idiot who ruined it and now they both make me cry. My scoring reasons are that they make me feel all the emotions and I love them Ever So Much and argh.

Fave headcanon: Oh boy, I’ve got a couple actually!

Whenever they’re talking/arguing over the phone, they’re always subconsciously mirroring each other’s actions even when they can’t see what the other is doing. It’s kinda creepy because you’ll hear yelling and it’ll look like one of them’s talking to an invisible person in front of them when it’s actually each other.

There has been multiple instances of them both getting injured in battle because they were distracted watching the other be a total badass (not that either will admit it)

Neither of them are morning people. AT ALL. Obi Wan actually has self-discipline and is able to get up with an alarm and crankily drag them both up, but both are almost impossible to deal with until they’ve had caffeine in them, and it’s been established that unless you want to risk murder, neither of them talks in the morning until caffeine has been provided.

There has been many, many cases of accidentally taking the other’s robe and not realizing it but thinking to themselves that said robe feels more comforting than usual today.

A mutually drunken arm wrestling match absolutely turned into a mutually drunken makeout once. Neither can remember it, and they wonder why some of the clones have been acting funny all week.

Half of the Temple thinks they’re already dating.

Ok I’ll stop it here

Fave Canon Moment: Ughhh, this is HARD. I really like the “any closer and you’d be kissing it” line in TCW, basically any moment in TCW when one of them refers to Ahsoka as “OUR padawan”, the extra long stares and unnecessary touches they give each other in TCW, the elevator scene in RotS movie (THE NOVEL MAKES IT A MILLION TIMES BETTER), also in RotS the way Anakin is half-ready to straight up fight Palpatine when he suggests leaving Obi Wan behind to die, the RotS “No loose wire jokes” bit, the RotS “Roger. Roger.” bit (OKAY JUST THE WHOLE FIRST HALF OF THIS RIDICULOUS MOVIE), the way Vader built his big stupid castle where they had their breakup, the way he’s constantly mentioning Obi Wan when the convo wasn’t even about him, seeing them together again at the end of RotJ (whoops you asked for one, you get MANY SCENES)

Fave AU ideas: Again, there’s a couple!

Superpower AU: Can’t decide whether I’d put this in canon or modern. Most powers in this AU are stolen from inspired by X-Men, DC, and other popular media, so I’m torn between Anakin having Jean Grey/Dark Phoenix style powers while Obi Wan had a variation on Rogue’s with additional energy manipulation. OR it would be a thing where Anakin could commune with the dead a la Klaus from Umbrella Academy while Obes had sort of Avatar-style wind/flight powers. (Both are relevant for different plots).

Sith AU: I know these are far from unpopular in the SW fandom, but the way I’d do it would be to try and write two stories at once, update one every other week so one update a week total. The stories would what would happen if either of them became the Sith Apprentice after the events of Episode 1, and how their dynamic would be during Ep 2 and The Clone Wars with one of them on the other side. It’s funny because the way I’ve plotted it, the Sith!Ani fic would have very big Good Omens vibes, while the Sith!Obi one would have very strong Under the Red Hood vibes, so two VERY different dynamics going on xD

WWII Spies: This is one I 100% plan to write someday, even tho it is a very long time from now. It’s basically following Anakin as an American naval pilot who got injured in a crash and discharged. He still wants to serve and eventually his talent gets him into the intelligence end of the war and sent to Europe where he meets Ben, who’s been working with British intelligence since it broke out, and sparks fly. I’m kind of cheating here cuz as of now this is an Obianidala story, not just Obikin, but it’s one I’m very excited for

Phantom of the Opera AU: This idea I had when I realized that Anakin as Vader is kinda a Lot like the Phantom, but he’s also a Lot like Christine too. So it turned into Anakin as a talented ballet dancer getting preyed on by Palpatine!Phantom (there is NO romance there, Palpy is a total creep and will be treated as such) with Obi Wan as a combination of Raoul and Madame Gery and I have a bunch of ideas and idk if it’s gonna be an actual thing, but I want it to.

Shapeshifter AU: Canon, not very complicated but they can all shift into animals. Obi Wan is a kind of cougar panther cat with a fluffy ginger tail, and Anakin is a big grumpy black Krayt Dragon with a stump for a front leg.

Not A Jedi!AU: One in canon in which set like the Sith!AU, two different stories exploring how their dynamic would be if one of them wasn’t found by the Order. As of now, I’ve got Anakin as the warrior pirate prince of Tatooine, after having grown up and staged a slave rebellion, then promptly put his mother on the throne, and Obi Wan’s there to negotiate something during TCW and things happen. For the Obi Wan one, he’s a political journalist and war correspondent who keeps on running into Anakin’s assignments and popping up where he’s stationed and Anakin has to keep this idiot from getting himself killed/stop asking me annoying questions that criticize the Jedi and the government.

Dark!AU: A kind of morbid canon divergent fic where Padmé dies early and unexpectedly (Palps didn’t plan it). Anakin goes off the rails and Obi Wan agrees to go with him on a murder vengeance roadtrip to try and keep him from Falling or the Sith from getting to him. He kinda fails and they both Fall in a way and it ends with them hunting down Sidious’ players one by one. I’m not entirely sure I want to continue with this tho because it plays strongly on the Fridged Woman trope, which I can’t stand. I’d have to figure out how to give Padmé some sort of active role after her death...

Songs to describe them: There’s a couple (I could have very well gone cranky but I decided to do (mostly) serious))(also my music taste kinda stinks)

Icarus— Bastille

Anna Sun— WALK THE MOON

Animal I Have Become— Acoustic cover by Vitamin String Quartet (original by Three Days Grace) (seriously y’all listen it’s sooooo gooooood)

Warriors— Imagine Dragons

My Demons— STARSET

Ignorance— Paramore

Set Fire to the Rain— Adele

Stubborn Love— The Lumineers

How to Save A Life— The Fray (yes i am aware it is stereotypical angst song leave me Alone it FITS)

Viva la Vida— Coldplay (tbh this fits like the entire PT but I liked it)

Raised by Wolves— U2 (another more PT-centric, but this one works dangit)

Bonus Broadway Song! : Confrontation from Les Miserables (now that ya think of it, that would be a pretty good AU too.....)

Bonus Broadway Song! : The Tango Maureen from Rent (I always imagined this one as Obi Wan and Padmé about Anakin, but it would be about something other than cheating cuz canon has established Anakin views cheating as a worse crime than murder, so yea)

Bonus Broadway Song! : Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better (aight this one’s mostly a joke but come ON don’t tell me that’s not completely them xD)

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

hey so remember like last year when i was re-reading misadventures and fixing typos? (well, i say that, but it was just an excuse to re-read it and write some absolutely absurd commentary on it...) i found old notes in my phone from january with even more so guess i may as well post it because people seemed to find it funny at the time, it’s basically just The Misadventures of Aish Realizing Things though

[yeah so here’s the original notes i’m not even gonna change anything even though lots of Lore has happened in the show and we Know things now, you just get to see what january aish typed]

ok well let’s go then chapters 31-35 oh god

oh yeah the ML Blackout! I remember that

hm it’s occurring to me maaaaaybe I should post a bit of a warning on this chapter. like “yes this starts off stupid and cracky and fluffy but takes a complete 180 in the middle and you will end up sobbing.”

or maybe I should put that as a disclaimer on the whole fic cause it’s one hell of a ride

THE AROACE SCIENCE JOURNAL YESSSSSSS THAT COMES BACK LATER

yeah the reason why the early parts of this chapter are very lighthearted is honestly because the fic was getting a bit too bleak, I needed something cheerful, so paper planes and arm wrestles it was

wait... isn’t this just that scene from Anansi??? where like Nora challenges Nino to an arm wrestle but then he wins because Someone Else Nearby Did A Thing

also this is Peak characterization, damn Aish, you rly outdone yourself, congration

any time I drop the word “inkling” into a fic it is always 100% a splatoon reference

MAX WOW TONE DOWN THE GAY

heh... BI-ceps...

oh my godddd Max trying to play off his ogling as “ah yes I am scientifically studying Kim’s arm muscles ofc, it’s science I swear” is SO frickin funny I’m already losing it

Alix: “scientifically speaking I’m hot therefore you have to lose this arm wrestle” hshdhdghshskkjkdhshs

^literally the kind of nonsense every single teen I know spouts irl

including me when I was a teen, I just said things

(I still just say things)

you can’t bring up the sports bra thing goddammit, I agree it’s cheating because it has the power to one-hit kill anyone in the vicinity

I love how Max thinks his crush on Kim is “under control” while like. visibly swooning over him

OH MY GOD THE PILLOWS SHHDJDHDHDHSKHS

OKAY SO LIKE I was supposed to put the thing about Kim snogging a pillow in chapter 20 but I forgot or something and then I just had to get it in somehow, oh it kills me dead just thinking about it, I’m dying, I’m dead

and the fact that he admits to it as well, holy moly

KIM

K I M

THAT’S GAY

OH WOW

this is the moment when Alix’s Kimax shipper heart was suddenly feeling validated like “omg wait Kim DOES like Max??? like for real??????”

awwwww Kim, Max doesn’t have those kind of superpowers, you just have a crush on him that’s all <3

THE SKATEBOARDING SNEK!!!!!!!!!!!!

“What the heck is that?” “My snake.” DYINGGGG

Kim trying to figure out if the snake is sitting or standing is a whole mood

ohhhhhhhh my gosh poor Alix trying so damn hard to subtly ask Kim if he likes Max and Kim’s just. so DUMB he doesn’t even get it no matter how obvious she is

she’s even trying to pull out those stupid amatonormative “so is he MORE than a friend???” questions just to get this idiot to figure it out because she knows allo-romos are Like That and he still doesn’t get it,,

[future aish says: the word is alloro, past aish. it’s alloro]

AND SO NOW SHE ASSUMES THEY’RE NOT INTO EACH OTHER BECAUSE SHE THINKS EVEN KIM CAN’T BE THAT STUPID

YOU UNDERESTIMATE HIS STUPIDITY

oh no... oh NO.... the letter.... here we go....

btw yes Gabriel had Kim’s grandad assassinated, it was indeed his doing

...isn’t this lowkey the plot of The Lion King?

or Long Live The Queen

hmmm let’s just say in the sequel poor Kim really will have to deal with the stresses of ruling a country >:D

NO MY POOR SON HAVING A BREAKDOWN, I WANT TO HUG HIM

(also can I just say like... this chapter is actually well-written for the most part? I’m actually kinda impressed)

unfortunately I know the feeling of wanting, needing to return home, but it fills you with dread... *hugs Kim forever*

Kim crying all over Max both hurts me and sort of heals me because Max is so sweet and comforting about it ohhh my heeeaaart

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

THIS IS LOWKEY A LOVE CONFESSION I SWEAR, IT’S SO CUTE

chapter 32 being called “Un chat noir” is kinda dumb af but also it just so happened that I accidentally had the chapter called “Coccinelle” be chapter 64, aka exactly double of 32, so that was kinda neat

Plagggggg!!!!!!!!!!

and Wayhem lol, I think I’ve already mentioned how originally this noble was just some random irrelevant unnamed OC until I decided way later it’s gay stalker fanboy

oh yeah that’s how the nobility recognize the royalty, I forgot lol

(also nobles from countries with widespread newspress or tv will recognize them from news reports and stuff I guess)

the fact that Plagg just hates Wayhem is funny to me for some reason

MISADVENTURES

HOLY SHIT I ACTUALLY THREW IN THE ACTUAL WORD

except it was in reference to Adrien... let’s just say that The Misadventures of Imperial Prince Adrien may or may not make an appearance in the sequel >:D

...the Adrienette is literally just in this fic so that people would read it, ngl

hhhhhhhhhhhh okay it’s true Alix is an aro idiot who doesn’t know anything about romance but for once she’s RIGHT, Kim IS in love with Max, but she assumes she’s wrong hshgshdjhdnsnsh

oh my god noooo timeline twin go away and stop giving me nightmares

I still love how they hate each other, that’s some top-notch self-hatred right there and I need to get on their level

[future aish note: no past self!! be nice to yourself!! you are a cool bean!! own it!!]

YOU FOOL... EVERY CLASSMATE WOULD TAKE A SWORD TO THE HAND FOR ALIX, WHY WOULDN’T THEY

ỳïķèš,,,

honestly I probably should stop being lazy and actually go back to like idk chapter 8 and put in an actual monopoly game (it had to have been before the oracle sessions in ch10 at least)

fun fact!! I have indeed very nearly had a fist fight over the last dark blue card in a monopoly game!! also I blatantly cheated, and the main opponent locked someone else (an 8 year old btw) in a cupboard... it was Wild(TM)

me and my irl friend actually came up with the butterfly thing when we were at the cinema once, she made up this random angry gardener OC who stepped on a butterfly after being fired or something lol

I mentioned Rose liking unicorns!!!! before Captain Hardrock!!!!!!!

shdhdhkshs Alix is such a moody emo brat in this fic I adore it

“The only real difference between you and me is one dead butterfly.” goddammit that’s the creepiest fucking thing, I’m genuinely shaking

technically it’s a butterfly’s fault for ALL the timelines which means that we’re all one butterfly away from death at any moment

cheerful stuff

no, no, you’re not trying to block it out on purpose... I’M trying to block it out on purpose bc I’m highkey shamelessly projecting

god I wish my timeline twin would manifest in the astral plane and punch me in the arm too

“Count yourself lucky you’re not a pillow, idiot.” in-context this is contender for Most Cursed Line I Have Ever Written In My Life

and yes Alix was about to straight-up swear

Mylène rollerskating is extremely blessed and good

pfffffffff Max you coward, I stand on swivel chairs all the time

*me, chanting at the spider in my room* KIMAX! KIMAX! KIMAX!

Kim literally making every excuse to not put Max down is amazing honestly

Kim and Max’s origins story is sooooooooooo cute wtf

THIS IS SO BLESSED OH MY HEART

HE’S JUST STANDING THERE CUDDLING HIM I’M

DECEASED

I,,,, swear to god,,,,,,,

so like. I know it’s now canon in the show that Kim really is as oblivious to his feelings as I wrote him in this. but MY GOD. IT’S FRIGGIN PAINFUL

KIM YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH MAX, FULL HOMO, THAT’S WHY YOU’RE FEELING LIKE THIS, IT’S NOT THAT COMPLICATED DAMMIT

oh yeah I wrote the kimax bits rly early and my old url was @queenkubdel haha

aight now a no-kimax chapter, but at least it’s a goodun

there’s that catradora-esque weather girls frenemyship again

Kim having a full-on breakdown when he finds out Alix’s hair isn’t really pink is actually really blessed, no lemme explain

so this universe has magic, right?? so he thinks to himself that the reason his friend has pink hair is because she must be some sort of anime protagonist or Really Important and Cool or something, and it never even occurred to him to doubt her

in other words he’s betrayed because he WANTED HIS FRIEND TO BE A COOL SHONEN HERO

which is both hilarious AND very sweet

...oh wait I’ve scrolled down and it turns out I literally explained all that in the fic itself hhdgjdvzjdjhs

and yeah honestly I can’t blame poor Kim for taking it so badly, he’s still reeling from his grandfather’s assassination so it’s natural his emotions are not exactly Regulated atm

actually when are his emotions ever regulated

1703-1899 hm... might change that since the fic takes place in 1957-1960 so even though it’s a commissioned history of the empire it was before Gabriel was even born so like why would he even care lmao

“Great Western Ocean” so pretentious, just say the Atlantic omg

I’ve been playing way too much civ because the first thing that came to mind was that everyone’s denounced Agreste due to the high warmongering penalties of the industrial/modern eras

Chloé and Kim is one hell of a brotp okay I still firmly believe that

also Chloé still loves her rococo fashion, she’s just toned it down enough that she can fit through doors and it’s not quite as “in your face” towards commoners

listen I know in the show Kim still liked Chloé for a while after Dark Cupid but in this he got over her quicker because his crush on her wasn’t as deep in the first place

Kim literally tells Chloé he gave the brooch to Max and yet STILL doesn’t realize he likes him!!! KIM!!!!!!!!!!

Chlodemption arc yesssssssss

also she’s a lesbeean

(ye Pollen will be in the sequel don’t you worry)

god I’m so proud of her <3

it feels believable too, so I’m proud of myself!! (I’m trying to be nice to myself before next chapter where I will no doubt roast myself so badly I’ll never recover)

outdated laws about marriage... jeez was that cursed foreshadowing or what

YES IT’S IVAN, I LOVE THIS BOY, HE’S SO GRUMPY AND ANGRY ALL THE TIME AND HE HATES KIM

...actually wait this is sibling culture

I literally speak like this to my brother and he’s my best friend so in conclusion Ivan thinks of Kim as an annoying brother

Jalil why are you a historian. just go be a psychologist and stop your sister accidentally hecking up the country

omg the Antarctica thing, I’m just imagining Jalil in the freezing cold with a massive coat on and getting chased by penguins

I love how the timeline twin’s plan was “escape school, force Adrien to get a venomous pet, then abandon him immediately in the middle of nowhere” and later on it turns out she skipped step two and just ditched him lmaoooooo

being so ace that your brain goes straight to “death and murder” before anything else is the biggest mood, I speak from experience

Jalil knows... he had that conversation with Kim in chapter 20... he Knows

“a bit unsupportive” um that is an extreme understatement good grief he was more savage than ME

RISE OF THE KIMAX SHIPPERS

oh don’t worry the venom death still haunts me too

chapter I Hate You... “A rather rotten winter party” well it should have been named A RATHER ROTTEN CHAPTER DO YOU KNOW HOW IMPOSSIBLE THIS ONE WAS TO WRITE OMG I HATE WRITING MYSELF INTO CORNERS

you see I had to have a motive for the timeline twin to explain things properly so that I could put in a really really dumb pun later but that meant I had to unfortunately suffer many allergic reactions again

[future aish note: forgot to mention, i also needed a motive for kim to stop eating chocolate forever, so i had to Curse this chapter as a sacrifice in order to save his life later on]

alright, alright, here we go, I’ll stop procrastinating and just get this over with

oh yeah it’s chapters like these that the fic’s rated T lol

the Adrikim friendship is indeed important... for later... like, plot-relevant levels of important... life-saving levels...

“some event” is the Peace Ball actually and I can’t wait because that chapter’s actually a good one

KIM BRAGGING ABOUT KISSING ADRIEN LAST YEAR IS SO FUCKING FUNNY OH MY GOD I’M LOSING MY MIND???

like last year he was LITERALLY LIKE “oh boo hoo I cannot tell anyone about this because Adrien is Ã Bøyê” and now he’s just like “yeah I kissed a hot boy and what about it???”

to be fair he is on an extreme sugar rush from all the chocolate he ate, which will... be a plot point in just a moment...

PILLOW GIRLFRIEND

I’m the amused nobles, they are me

oh my god Kim we get it you want to kiss someone (Max) and you don’t want to outright say it

holy shit do any of these kids ever think before they speak??? not to sound like the timeline twin or anything but alix... you could have avoided this if you’d bothered to use your one (1) brain cell

[future aish note: bold of me to assume that alix has a brain cell]

Kim wants to now fight his PARALLEL SELF oh my god, get on my level Kim, I want to fight my actual self like right now so there

stfu all of you, this is poisoning my liver

Max is the biggest mood and at least mildly sensible thank god, but he really shouldn’t have left those two alone for even a second

I AGREE PLATONIC LOVE IS UNDERRATED

the chair... the fucking c h a i r... I’m already lying down but I need to lie down harder just to process the absurdity of this

(I think I was gonna have Alix fall off the chair just because that’s hilarious but I forgot)

look I can’t take heartrate seriously but if you ever write it then you are legally required to put in kissing contests or you’re doing it wrong

fudgin Adrienette kiss offscreen and irrelevant

DJWIFI!!! AND ACTUAL PROPER DJWIFI!!!! I was sick of seeing it treated as some kind of pair-the-spares beta couple so I flipped the script and had them literally call out that trope while treating Adrienette as irrelevant instead, which is also why the sequel will be extremely djwifi-centric

“super swanky bae” please stop misusing commoner slang I’m begging you

THERE’S THE PLOT POINT I WAS TALKING ABOUT

Theo was right here, he witnessed with his own eyes how much chocolate Kim ate, so he knows for a fact that if you give Kim chocolate he will scarf it down without a second thought... so hypothetically if one sent him poisoned chocolates... dyou see where I’m going with this...

oh and Theo still has like every job btw

Alya!!!! no!!!!! hire him again!!!!!!!! then he won’t send the chocolates!!!!!!!!!! aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

there goes me hinting how alyadrininette is the ultimate ot4 again

...do I really wanna scroll down and keep going? no I don’t but I guess I gotta, and relive every one of my most embarrassing school sleepovers in the process

full offence to everyone bothering to read this but kissing sounds gross, actually

(for the record it was probably like... 10 seconds or something idk it was Not Long At All)

“probably not more than 5 minutes” omg I just said it was 10 seconds??? hmmm m okay like 20 seconds maaaybe, Kim just has no sense of time perception

neither do I based on my microwaving skills

SHIT THIS IS LITERALLY A SCHOOL SLEEPOVER

INNOCENT DUMBASS AROACE ASKING “what does that mean? what’s this? what’s that? it’s okay you can tell me :-)”

omg I forgot the snake was there ahshdhdkshfs I’m the snake, probably wants to launch itself out of the window so big mood

most of the fic so far had Alix being really aro so I was like damn... gotta make her really ace too

(if I ever bother writing the Kimdine AU then you actually get an aro character who isn’t ace, because we need more of them, but I won’t say who) (okay fine it’s Luka)

I tend not to be too British in my writing so as not to give the Americans heart attacks whenever they see someone referring to their mother as “mum” etc, but like... sometimes you just gotta throw in the word “snogging”

(I’m typing this out on my phone rn and it has exactly 69% battery, I hate this and also hate that I felt the need to mention that)

THE HOCKEY THING MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN BASED OFF A REAL LIFE THING. *SWEATS NERVOUSLY*

honestly I was soooooo tempted to actually write The Talk bit, it would have been the funniest thing ever, but I was also 99% sure I would have to change the rating to M (despite it not even remotely being smut lol, just a regular biology lesson) and there was no way I was doing that, pretty sure I pushed the T rating at some points as it is

[future aish: god i am still so tempted to write it. man, i’m tempted. it would be the funniest thing. but no... i have sworn not to write anything above a T rating so guess i won’t.]

YEAH THE THROWING UP THING TOO WAS DEFINITELY NOT BASED ON REAL LIFE OR ANYTHING *MORE NERVOUS SWEATING*

(it genuinely wasn’t a flowerpot though. it’s my life’s goal to throw up in a flowerpot and I still haven’t achieved it.)

all of this is an Ace Mood(TM)

also I love how elaborately I’ve worded this, like yeah idiot royal teenagers are too royal and posh to ever bother just saying the word “sex” like a normal person

to any 17 year old aces: you aren’t too young to know, I told myself that aggressively when I was 17 but now I’m 22 and I’m still just as ace as I always was sooooo yeah

I also hope I can wake up tomorrow and forget I read this trash

well tbh... it’s not total trash... it highkey reminds me of my school days, like, maybe that was subconscious or something... god who even knows

jeez if timeline twin slapped me in the face I’d just keel over and die from sheer terror, other than that that’s HILARIOUS

timeline twin: “YOU HAVE ONE (1) BRAIN CELL NOW P L E A S E CONSIDER USING IT”

fuckeninf hell listen,,, so when I was writing this chapter I didn’t know I was aro... I mean, I was kinda questioning it?? but all I knew was I was ace, and that me not knowing that as a teenager almost totally screwed me over because like

to be normal or to feel normal there’s things you do or say that you don’t want, and things you know would happen or whether you want something or not you’ll take it because you think you’re expected to, because otherwise you’ll have to confront yourself with the fact that something is wrong with you and you don’t know what or why or how to fix it

and being aro on top of that is misunderstanding how to navigate close friendships because of this fundamental fear that if you want to be close with someone then friendship can’t suffice, that how much you care about them doesn’t matter

and things I did or almost did, or had the chance to do and only stopped because (awfully enough) crippling anxiety which ironically saved me (let’s just say the dude turned out to be a creep)... yeah basically this is all a callback to that aroace teenager feel where you can’t help not being true to yourself because you don’t want to, because you don’t know what’s wrong or right, only what’s “normal” and the ache of knowing that you’re not, no matter how much you try

and I didn’t know I was aro while writing this but in hindsight it’s easy to see how that played into it too, and writing this definitely played a part in me realizing I’m aro and was somehow trying to work through some very pent-up feelings about friendship and closeness with people, as well as pent-up feelings about being ace and how that tied into everything too

...in short, do not phuck the pharaoh or you will get HOUSE ARRESTED and DIE

(jk jk she’ll just be awkward around you forever lol, and then SHE’LL get house arrested and die, because you’re not commoners so your actions actually have consequences you dumb idiots)

this entire thing is just a whole mood and lowkey my teenage years holy fuck holy fuck I hate that I’m only just realizing how bloody hard I was projecting

I literally read a post the other day about how unrequited love is only ever usually explored from the perspective of the person who’s in love, whereas aros are usually on the receiving end of it and it’s a tragedy in its own right that you might do things that wind up driving you apart because you can’t bring yourself to love them back but you can’t tell them because of the fear that it’ll push them away... and I gotta say, I totally nailed it 💪

...you know what I’ve changed my mind, chapter 34 is good actually, and now I need to make a time machine and go and hug my 17 year old self for living this, and then hug my 20 year old self for writing this, I’m sorry I was mean to this chapter it’s very relatable and I shouldn’t keep beating myself up over it

thinking makes me miserable too!! that’s why it’s optimistic nihilism only lads

impulse control, hmmm... someone who’s good for him, hmmmmmm... it’s almost like someone like that is right there and exists and is already in love with him 😏

so apparently timeline twin’s idea of “fixing her life” is burning all her bridges and then hecking off to the Kazakh wilderness for over a year

did Alix just... ask the snake if it’s aroace too???

I mean it definitely is, but...

UGH SNAKES DON’T BLINK, I’M STILL SO ANGRY ABOUT THIS

chapter 35, thank god, the title “Finally!” is very apt

(because I can finally change the music from Death Valley to something else lol)

oh poor Max, his heart goes on a real rollercoaster these few chapters doesn’t it? it’s okay buddy, in like 10 chapters you’ll get your man...

NO BUT SHE H A S FIGURED IT OUT!!! SORT OF!!!

I just misread “despite” as “despacito”, I’m going to bed and continuing this tomorrow dammit

alright I am now funky refreshed and ready to roll, let’s get this kimax party started

Max is angsting internally like “no one’s realized I like Kim :( well except Juleka but she’s a lesbian so she doesn’t count” ashgdjsghskk that mlm/wlw solidarity is holding out I see

YES ALIX YOU DO NEED TO TALK TO NATH MORE, THAT’S YOUR FREAKING BEST BUD IN THE SHOW MAY I REMIND YOU

this is all so Irony it’s murdering me dead

okay yeah I’m gonna be really honest and salty here for a second, this bit where Max is annoyed that Alix takes Nath more seriously as a contender than him was me being a bit salty over the fact that like... kimnath/tomato ketchup is a great rarepair but got so weirdly popular amongst people who didn’t seem to care about Max as a character at all despite how close he is with Kim in canon, and as a Max Stan it made me sad because he’s already not very appreciated in fandom

[future aish note: HE IS NOW BABEY!]

THERE IT IS

I WANT TO HUG MAX TOO, BLESS HIM

I also want to hug Alix because godddds I’ve been in that situation where if you were allowed to just TELL the idiots that they like each other then all their problems would be solved but noooo, you’re sworn to secrecy... *sigh*

“I’ll make sure that doesn’t change, ever...” me: *thinks about the sequel and cackles evilly while cracking my knuckles* well,,

A R O M A N T I C

listen it was VERY IMPORTANT to me that I actually put in all these actual words in the fic and made them relevant, like gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc (I think the only one I didn’t was trans, oops?? gotta remember that for the sequel, at least Nino IS trans in this even though I never said the word)

[future aish note: i feel like i didn’t say pan either, or nonbinary... more stuff for the sequel folks! i can’t put in everything but i may as well try!]

bc you see all these tv shows where a character is bi but they say they “don’t like labels” or a character with no love interest get suddenly paired up with someone random at the end... like NO I wanted to do the OPPOSITE of that bc people’s identities are IMPORTANT so I wanted to MAKE IT RELEVANT 💪

and even though I didn’t yet know here that I was aro and highkey projecting, there’s already a fair few fics dealing with asexuality but not aromanticism?? so I rly wanted to make the aro side of things important

almost relieved??? Max, you buffoon, she IS relieved, extremely

Malix friendship is good and severely underrated and I still haven’t forgiven myself for not putting more of it in this

“He was never eating chocolate again” HO-HO-HOLY SHIT THAT’S SOME FORESHADOWING RIGHT THERE

Rose is a distinguished bi who doesn’t realize Kim is a disaster bi

Kim oh my god you can’t just out Adrien “just about functional bi” Agreste like that

I love that Rose calls Kim a casanova even though he’s very much not... how many people are even into him over the course of the fic? Max, Adrien, it’s implied Marinette used to be, Lila is ambiguous, same with the lacrosse guy later, oh yeah Ondine highkey lmao along with 90% of the teenage population of Saharan Africa, Kim himself in about 2 chapters time...

Rose giving Kim the gay talk is so blessed omg I need more interaction between these two

“If you swung one way you were gay, if you swung the other way you were straight, more than one way made you bisexual, if you didn’t swing any way at all then you were probably just Alix...” I will literally NEVER be able to outdo this line, this is Peak

hmm I don’t think at any point in the fic Max says to Kim that he’s exclusively into boys... I guess he said it offscreen then lol, point is He’s Gay

OMG KIM, YOU FINALLY REALIZED WHAT THE NOSEBLEED SCENE MEANT, GOD BLESS YOU

this is like in Syren when he realizes the mermaid is Ondine and that she was trying to tell him she likes him... except this is the gay version of that

yeah Rose I really do need to get more sleep, that one was directed at me and I know it was

Kim being all like “fellas is it gay if you take off your shirt and a guy swoons at you 🤔🤔🤔”

no, no... Max is definitely a complete trainwreck at romance, just slightly less than you

god freaking dammit not the sports bra again,,, I s2g later in the fic all Ondine would have had to do is to show up in a sports bra and Kim would immediately go full ot3 mode no questions asked,,,,,,,, (I mean he does see her in a swimsuit but that’s not the same??? sports bras are in a different league okay shush)

psssssst!!! you should read heartbroken!!!! it’s a kimax fic and it’s so good!!!!! this was a lowkey shoutout!!!!!!!!

genuinely tho, even if Kim hadn’t liked Max too here, he’s being so sweet about it?? he’s worried about his poor friend’s emotional state and wishes he could have done better to help!! gahhhh their friendship/relationship is just So Blessèd

hsndhkdhdkshdh I only noticed it after finishing the fic and occasionally skimming back through, but so much of the time whenever Alix shows up Kim’s all like *ungrateful* “oh not you again” like WOW that’s one way to greet your friend?? mood tho

[future aish note: i did the exact opposite in No Romo, funnily enough! kim’s not in it much but whenever he sees alix he’s like “friend!!! friend!!!!!” and she’s just like -_- “oh it’s that guy again”]

he’s not even paying attention to her omg she’s trying to save the timeline here you idiot

POOR ALIX how frustrating,,, and also I’ve literally been there,,, the woes of being a wing-girl indeed

and now Kim wants to fight himself, why am I not surprised

aND YES HERE’S WHERE IT HITS HIM, THE EXACT FUCKING MOMENT

WHERE HE’S SUDDENLY LIKE “OH WAIT MAX’S LOVE FOR ME ISN’T UNREQUITED??? I LIKE HIM TOO HOLY SHIT????”

aaaaaaand he immediately asks the aro for love advice, why is he like this omg

gosh this is sooooo sweeeeeet

I did not let up, did I? just went ahead and made this as cheesy and cutesy and over the top as I could because It’s What Kimax Deserves

(there wasn’t rly much Kimax content yet in the fandom at this point so I had total free reign and went all-out with it)

sfjsgskdhs and there goes Alix getting her wing-efforts sidelined again

“I’m never asking out someone on a whim again. Or, uh, confessing that I like someone on a whim either.” so uh... you know how I said I’m considering making the sequel Kimaxdine? well if I do then uh. hm. this might change. because reasons.

I don’t know why I made nothing Alix ever says make sense but I’m glad I did because she’s so freaking funny

I swear I talk about Max’s eyes being “magnified in his glasses” multiple times in this fic, either that or I’m having serious deja vu

Kim’s so cute dammit!!! now that he knows he likes Max he’s just swooning over every little thing and it’s!!!! adorable!!!!!

(I wonder if this is how it was with Kimdine in the show? it does seem like Kim already liked her but just hadn’t noticed...)

huehuehuehue Kim later on you do indeed recklessly propose to Max on the spot... in like 18 chapters or so

also the fact that Kim thinks things through better when he’s around Max is just the total sweetest and also what Alix was basically trying to aim for

I love Kim showing off that he can pack all his stuff in half an hour like buddy, the porters can literally help you with that, you’re royalty remember

omg I’d forgotten I left a note here later for binge-readers!! being all like “drink water and eat food and go to sleep uwu”

lmao guess I’ll take my own advice then and leave it there for now

[future aish note: same, goodnight]