#it is /not/ a good use of a state machine!
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Following up on the “how do you do it all” ask I sent just now - I ALSO have ADHD, but only realized this recently, and I feel like thats what gets in my way. It doesn’t seem to get in your way as much, or at least not in the same way? I guess I’m asking if there are any tips/tricks/ideas you could share on how to make space for more creative projects
For a good chunk of stuff, it's weaponized rejection-sensitive dysphoria. Not in necessarily a detrimental way, but it counterbalances the executive dysfunction sometimes. I find external motivators to substitute for the internal executive functions that aren't firing. Sometimes I just give myself a theoretically-judgemental audience (in practice: these people are my friends and they would not actually judge me, but the theory of it is enough) that holds me accountable for the completion of a task or project. You're probably seen it at least once; I might post "okay I gotta clean my house, if I don't post updates you'll know I failed" and that is very literally me counterweighting the ADHD.
I recently did a pact with my mom that we would both help each other clean our garages (what I spent the last two weekends doing) because neither of us wanted to tackle that project alone. For pottery, I agreed with a friend that we would both do it together, so it's the obligation to her to keep showing up and working on things that keeps me engaged and enjoying things. Or the deadline pressure of ArtPrize, or the maintenance guy coming over who could possibly judge the state of my pantry, or the shelter relying on me to return healthy kittens, or whatever other little thing. Basically, sometimes, it's this
Which makes things sound...unpleasant? Honestly I don't generally find this to be a stressful system; this is the balanced machine of my brain. I decided a long time that I didn't want to medicate for my ADHD (for a lot of reasons, which I'm not getting into) so instead I find ways to work around and with it.
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Nobody EVER rocked harder or was more metal than Joe Hill the songwriter and labor activist. He turned the pro-union speeches and pamphlets into witheringly pointed songs that live on to this day, and he inspired many people to take up liberal causes. He was hated by many Establishment types, but especially by the Mormons of Utah. When he was eventually executed on trumped-up charges, he asked that his body be cremated and his ashes divided and sent to union halls in every state -- except of course for Utah, where he wouldn't be caught dead. His wishes were carried out and his ashes were mailed around the country, but one of the envelopes was torn upon by a automated letter-sorting machine and the Post Office realized what they were. They confiscated his ashes and didn't return them until 1988. The remaining ashes have since been scattered at union memorials all over the world.
"Casey Jones" is great, but for caustic social commentary it's hard to beat "The Preacher and the Slave" which gave us the phrase "pie in the sky".
Long-haired preachers come out every night
Try to tell you what’s wrong and what’s right
But when asked about something to eat
They will answer in voices so sweet
CHORUS:
You will eat, bye and bye
In that glorious land above the sky
Work and pray, live on hay
You’ll get pie in the sky when you die (that’s a lie)
And the starvation army they play
And they sing and they clap and they pray
Till they get all your coin on the drum
Then they tell you when you’re on the bum
Holy rollers and jumpers come out
They holler, they jump, and they shout
Give your money to Jesus they say
He will cure all diseases today
If you fight hard for children and wife
Try to get something good in this life
You’re a sinner and bad man, they tell
When you die you will sure go to hell
Workingmen (folk) of all countries unite
Side by side we for freedom will fight
When the world and its wealth we have gained
To the grafters we’ll sing this refrain
LAST CHORUS:
You will eat, bye and bye
When you’ve learned how to cook and to fry
Chop some wood, twill do you good
And you’ll eat in the sweet bye and bye (that’s no lie)
I love old union songs because it's like this fucking asshole was a scab so we fucking threw him in the river and he broke his spine and when he went to heaven he was scabbing on the angels so they fired him down to heaven and the devil was like you have to work in hell for being a dirty scab
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Rise August: Secrets
Story included under cut!!!
Draxum was in his apartment sorting through a box of old potions and scrolls and loose mystical items left over from when his lab was destroyed for the third time, during the Shredder's invasion. He'd been putting this off for far too long. Amidst the chaos of his collection, there were medical files on his past experiments, DNA samples of the turtles, a couple ancient relics he'd managed to keep ahold of during the whole 'banished from the Hidden City' fiasco, and... a doll. Small, scorched, threads and yarn coming loose from where time had worn them out. It was a small item, inconsequential upon first glance. But it was possibly the most precious possession Draxum owned, if only because it was the last reminder he had of a former life. The doll, stitched and crocheted with care, resembled a miniature turtle. Draxum pressed the doll close to his chest as he'd done countless times before, holding it by his heart and silently praying to any god that would listen to him. And he sat, hoping his prayer would be answered, and a single message could be relayed to the spirit of the one who'd made the doll for him all those years ago.
He was so sorry.
It was then that his phone began to buzz, bringing him back to the present. He tried ignoring it, but the infuriating noise continued.
BZZZ. BZZZ. BZZZ.
He growled, admitting defeat in the battle of wills against the irritating little machine, and picked it up. Leonardo was calling. Had BEEN calling him repeatedly. Along with Michelangelo, who'd called a total of three times within the last minute and a half. Hmm, odd. Donatello had called once, too. What could they want? It wasn't a training evening, or one of those cumbersome 'family bonding nights'. But it must be important if they were willing to call SIX TIMES IN A ROW. He cautiously pressed the little green button.
"Baron Draxum speaking--"
"WERE YOU GOING TO TELL US THAT WE HAD SECRET SIBLINGS?! OR WERE WE JUST SUPPOSED TO LEARN THAT ON OUR OWN?!"
Draxum pulled his ear away, flinching at the noise. It was Leonardo, all right.
"What?" Draxum groaned, trying to combat the sudden deafness he just received in his left ear. "What is going on--"
"Dad just told us about our secret SISTER and secret BROTHER!" Leo yelled again. "Did you ever plan on bringing this up?! Where will the secrets END with our family?! Do you have ANYTHING TO SAY?!"
Draxum grumbled angrily.
"That conniving actor... I can't believe he..." How dare that former action star spill all his secrets without telling him he even KNEW those secrets! How did he find out?! "Put the rat on," he demanded. "I will discuss this breach of trust with him."
"I..." silence. "....I can't."
"Why not?" Draxum asked, noticing the sudden change in Leonardo's voice.
The mutant slider turtle took a good long while to answer. In the background, Draxum could make out the sounds of weeping and wailing. Michelangelo. He'd recognize the youngest's voice anywhere. Leo's breaths were shaky as he struggled to string together a sentence.
"...Draxum... Dad can't... he isn't...." a pause, a deep inhale. "He... he's dead," Leo whispered hoarsely. "He died half an hour ago."
Dead...?
Barry knew the rat was old and weak, and had been growing sick... but... And he'd told them. On his deathbed. He'd planned this, a dramatic reveal for the king of drama. One last spiteful incursion against the great Baron Draxum. He'd told the boys about their 'secret siblings'. How could he have known?? How did he ever find out? The how and why hardly mattered now. He'd told them. And... it was about time they knew.
"...I'll be there in fifteen minutes," Draxum stated before hanging up abruptly.
Baron Draxum spent the first five minutes just standing in the middle of the room. Thinking. Contemplating. This was going to be a very difficult conversation. For a multitude of reasons. Draxum spent the next five minutes gathering all the supplies he would need. Reports on the mutagen and ooze. Scans of the experiments. DNA samples, tests, any information on the two subjects he had left. Receipts of their existence. Proof.
The doll, the last remnant and possession of the most precious thing he'd ever lost.
And then Draxum spent the last five minutes rehearsing. Going over every little detail and thinking the history through. He could guess what they would say, what they'd ask, and how they'd react. There was no way he was ready for this.
His fifteen minutes were up. It was time to go.
Draxum stood stone still, arms full of documents, in the center of his apartment.
It was now twenty minutes. Draxum opened a magenta portal and stepped through.
The lair was darker than usual. And quiet. Usually there were string lights and neon signs illuminating the halls, but they'd been turned off. And there was always something playing in the background, a tune from the radio or a movie left on in the living room. But it was eerily silent, apart from the sound of people crying. Draxum followed the sounds of grief into the living room, Splinter's favourite space. It was dimly lit by candles, a scene of mourning like something from a film. Of course, that was how he'd want to go out. Dramatically.
The children were all surrounding his favourite armchair, Leonardo standing at a distance and tapping his foot impatiently as he stood guard over the room. Donatello was sitting in a corner, looking unsure of how to feel, or how to process what he was feeling. Michelangelo was sobbing in Raphael's lap, crying uncontrollably into his shoulder as the eldest rocked him back and forth, trying to comfort the youngest while also holding back his own tears in an attempt at false bravery. April O'Neil -- who was also here, among others -- had taken the initiative to drape a long white sheet over the body, out of respect.
Seeing this... seeing the outline of Splinter's body laying still... the scene became all too real all at once, and Draxum's planning and pre-prepared speeches were lost in the realization. His sons just lost the man they called 'father'. The person they loved most in life. And now, he was all they had left. And that terrified him.
"You're late," Leo growled, turning to look the sheep man in the eyes.
"Apologies," Draxum sighed. "I needed to prepare. Sit down, I'll try to explain it all."
Leo and April gathered the rest of the family into the kitchen, where Draxum began to pass out the papers and documentation.
"Okay, Draxum," Leo spat, sitting himself down at the table. "TALK. What did Dad mean by a secret sister and secret brother?"
Draxum inhaled deeply, readied himself, and began.
"You DO have a brother and sister. That is true."
"Why didn't you ever tell us?" Mikey asked, voice wet and wobbly from crying. "Why didn't Splinter??"
"I can't say why the rat --" he paused, cleared his throat. They dead deserved more respect than that. "...Why Splinter didn't tell you beforehand. I didn't even know he knew. But I hadn't told you because I saw no reason to."
"No reason?!" Donatello gawked. "They're our secret family members!"
"Yeah, do you have ANY IDEA how many family members we have?!" Leo added. "Zero! And now we have two?! This is kind of a BIG DEAL, BARRY!"
"Technically, we always had two secret family members but --"
"Not the time for grammatical correction, Dee."
"Would you allow me to continue?" Draxum yelled over the argumentative boys.
The room fell silent.
"Thank you. The main reason I never told you was... because they are... dead."
Leo's hands, which had been folded together and holding his chin up, fell to his sides as his eyes widened.
"Dead? How?"
"It's a long story," Draxum began, taking one of the many sheets and passing it around the table. "When you were first mutated, I also mutated a fifth turtle, though she was contained in a separate tank. During the destruction of my lab, I managed to escape with her while your father escaped with you. Three years later, with my lab restored, I began my research again and decided to try mutating a sixth turtle."
"Our... brother?" Raph asked, pretending to read a sheet full of medical notes and toxicology readings he didn't understand at all.
"Yes," Draxum nodded. "Though, technically, he is your half-brother."
"How does that work?" Mikey asked.
"I didn't have any DNA remnants of Lou Jitsu left, so I had to find the next best warrior to use," Draxum explained, gesturing to himself. "So I used my own DNA for the recreated formula. I called the two turtles Venus De Milo and Machiavelli."
"But what happened to them?" Mikey asked nervously. "How did they..."
Draxum cleared his throat as he went over the old memories. Even after all these years, they still hurt.
"I was not in the good graces of the public. The Council of Heads disapproved of my illegal genetic experimentations, and as such my work was in danger. The two experiments were in danger. That was when Big Mama showed up."
"Of course she did!" Leo groaned, throwing his hands in the air. "That woman! Pizza supreme, I swear she preys on opportunity like... like a... like a creature that prowls or... something..."
"Do you mind if I go on?" Draxum growled. "As I was saying, she promised to help smooth things over with the council and the public eye if I let her take custody for one of the experiments."
"Why would she want that?" Donnie wondered as he looked over Venus' paperwork. "And why would you agree?
"She said that if she were to truly be in league with me, she'd need an equal share of the project. She argued that it would only solidify her standing with me and make us equal partners with equal footing. And an equal portion of responsibility and investment in the project. And I had no choice, I needed her sway with the community. She took Venus from me, and I never saw her again. Big Mama was only meant to keep her for three years, but when the time came she told me that Venus had died from complications due to the mutation."
"Was that true?" Raph asked.
"I don't know, I never found out. If it was false, Big Mama made her virtually invisible. I've no idea of what became of Venus. But after that, I became far more protective of Machiavelli. I trained him, schooled him, kept him safe from prying eyes. And as time went on, he became very important to me. I was invested in his wellbeing, and... and..."
Michelangelo perked up, seeing a familiar but rare side of Draxum show itself. A softened expression, a gentleness in his voice. A deep and harrowed regret.
"You... you loved him, didn't you?" the box shell turtle asked. "He became like a son to you, didn't he?"
Draxum nodded sadly.
"But I was a warmongering fool back then. Afraid and angry, I projected my frustrations out onto Machiavelli. I tried to mold him into a warrior, but he... he wasn't like that, he was kind and... you all would have liked him." Draxum smiled, turning to look at each of the boys. "He was creative, smart, loved playing games and making jokes... And despite my ignorance, he saw me as a father."
Leo glanced from a sheet containing science-y mumbo-jumbo back to the disgraced baron. He looked so old, so tired. In his hands, he clutched a secret and sacred doll. Leo's gaze rose from the hidden treasure back up to Draxum's face, which was clouded over with old grief.
"What happened to him, Barry?" Leo asked cautiously. "What happened to Machiavelli?"
Draxum squeezed the handmade doll. His brow furrowed, his jaw hardened. His voice was low as he forced the words out.
"...It was a few years ago. One night, we had an argument over training. I don't remember exactly what was said, only that we fought over his purpose. I was adamant that his destiny was to be a soldier, nothing more, and I said as much. I told him we'd discuss it further in the morning. But that night... the lab... there was an explosion, and... his bedroom was right beneath... he didn't make it out."
The room was silent. Draxum sat, twiddling his thumbs as he thought of his son's face. There were no pictures, no images, no drawings left to depict him. Only this doll, made in his image as a gift for his father. But he didn't need any reminders. He remembered him perfectly. He remembered it all.
"...How long ago was this?" Donatello asked.
"...Almost three years ago, by now," Draxum whispered.
"An explosion in your lab that occured over two years ago," Donnie repeated. "This... this wouldn't have happened to be during a stand-off between you and four mutant turtles, would it?"
Draxum stayed silent. He knew this was coming. Hence why he never brought it up. He felt every eye on him. He couldn't answer. Yet they needed one. He slowly nodded.
"...So it was... our fault?" Raph asked, voice low and hushed. "The lab explosion we caused... it was because of us he died?"
"No," Draxum assured them, finally looking up. "It was my fault. If I had not been so stubborn and had let go of my irrational hatred of the humans, none of that would have happened. I would never had created the oozesquitos, nor kidnapped the agent Mayhem, and none of the events that followed would have come about. It was not your fault. It was only mine."
Mikey stood up and rushed over to Draxum's side, wrapping his arms around him and crying into his robe.
"I'm sorry," Mikey whimpered. "I'm sorry that happened..."
"And I am sorry I did not tell you about your sister and half-brother sooner," Draxum sighed. "I wasn't sure how to bring it up. And... I was not ready to reopen old wounds."
"I guess it's okay," Leo grumbled, waving his hand at Draxum. "I'm glad you told us now, at least."
"It would have been cool to have more siblings, though," Raph smiled. "I wonder if I'd still be oldest..."
"According to these, 'Venus' was older than you," Donatello read aloud. "And Machiavelli was born three years after our mutation--"
"Wait, this means I have a younger brother?! I'm not the youngest??" Mikey exclaimed.
"You're still the youngest, Mikey," Donnie explained.
"Nuts."
"This might be a dumb question, but are you sure that they're dead?" Leo asked, scanning the sheets over again. "I mean, plot twists seem to be a running theme in our family. Could they still be alive?"
"It's possible that Venus might be alive," Draxum shrugged. "Big Mama is nothing if not a swindler and a liar."
"What about Machiavelli?" Mikey wondered. "Could he have made it out?"
"I don't see how," Draxum answered dejectedly. "I barely made it out alive. With no warning, and his room directly underneath... no. If he had survived, I would have found him by now. And... it's too late. Three years have weathered away any hope I had."
"You never know," Mikey offered. "I mean... it's possible, right?"
Baron Draxum knew this was a vain hope, one he didn't have the strength to allow any indulgence in.
"I do not wish to give myself false hope for what I know to be a fantasy," Draxum scolded. "But..."
But... he could hope, nonetheless. And perhaps one day, he really would see his son once more.
@sariphantom
(While I don't actually accept the whole Splinter's death from the anniversary comic as canon, I only accept it in this AU universe because it allows for Draxum to finally tell his kids about his other kids)
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise august 2024#rise august art challenge#rise august#secrets#tutant meenage neetle teetles#rottmnt fanart#rottmnt au#rottmnt baron draxum#rottmnt draxum#velcro duo#velcro au#short story
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Altered State: Part 1
IDK if anyone on here will be interested in this story, its kind of a long and slower but thought I would post it anyways. More parts coming next week!
Most great adventures start with a call to arms, a quest from on high, a declaration of purpose to serve the greater good. Edward’s and Leon’s started with a question asked through a mouthful of chips.
“Wanna play this new game dude?” Leon asked words barely intelligible. He stood in the doorway of their living room, his fat frame blocking most of the light. In one hand he held a bag of chips and in the other, he held up an unfamiliar battered keep case, the type that held video game disks inside. The thing had a red and blue design that Edward didn't recognize.
“I guess. What is that thing, will it work on my Wii?” Edward asked. He lay on the couch, long thin body taking up the whole thing but sat up and moved over to make room for his roommate.
Leon shook his head “I don’t think so dude, it's like super retro.” He walked over to the TV and started fiddling with the row of older consoles that belonged to their third roommate Alvis trying to see if any could accommodate the game. "It was free though." He said as he found the right one, an extremely retro blocky thing Edward was surprised even accepted disks. Leon booted up the system, the familiar hum of the machine filling the space. “I got it from that comic shop down the street. This buff dude at the counter just handed it to me. Said he thought I would put it to good use.”
“Alvis would kill you if he knew you were touching that,” Edward warned, always the one to show more caution.
“Fuck Alvis. If he didn't want it to be used he shouldn’t have bought it” Leon countered. Neither of the two were particularly big fans of their other roommate, but Leon especially hated his guts. He only let the guy live with them because it made the rent cheaper and because Alvis’ weird retro tech fit in with their decor of half-finished Lego sets, empty pizza boxes, and superhero posters, and because for the most part, Alvis left the two friends alone, spending all his time in the engineering building or fiddling with tech in his room.
Leon opened the case and took out a dusty disk, growing on it to reveal the title “Altered State” and the manufacturer HunkTech, neither of which either Leon or Edward had ever heard of. Leon put the game back into Alvis’s video game console and pressed play. The TV flickered for a moment, then exploded with color so bright it forced both of them to squint. Flashes of neon light, strange symbols, and spinning images seared into their eyes, leaving dancing after images. Neither of the friends could look away, their senses overwhelmed by the pulsating lights that burned into the back of their brains. And just as suddenly as it started, the TV went black and both friends came back to themselves.
“Oh shit" Edward muttered, blinking rapidly to clear his vision. "Your game just fried the TV!Alvis is going to kill you.”
Leon opened his mouth to defend himself but before he could a green holographic display blinked into existence, floating in the air right in front of him. Growing text marched across the living room floor reading:
"Welcome to Altered State.”
Leon’s jaw dropped. "Uh, Ed? You seeing this?”
Edward stood motionless for a moment too shocked to speak. “What the fuck” he breathed “What's going on?”
Both of their holograms shifted to display naked, pixelated 3D models of the two friends, hanging awkwardly in midair.
“Eww, what the hell,” Leon said. He tried to avert his gaze but the images followed the motion of his head and stayed even when he shut his eyes.
Neither of the projections was a particularly flattering sight to behold. Leon’s short, heavy frame was rendered in painful detail—his soft belly, narrow shoulders, pudgy limbs, and average penis were all fully extenuated under the brutally detailed holographic projection. Edward’s model didn’t fare any better. Tall and spindly, his twig-like arms and knobby knees, paired with a notoriously ugly face, gave him the appearance of a scarecrow. Edward was not helped much in its attractiveness by the acne on his face, the greasy thin hair on his head, and the pitifully small penis between his legs fully visible in the naked light of the hologram.
“Your the one with your dick in my face.” Edward shot back, cheeks flushed with embarrassment at the display.
The hologram flickered again, and new text appeared below both their models:
Analyzing subjects…
The text began to blink as new displays blinked into existence on the peripheral of both their vision, only really notable if focused on. Various menus that displayed statistics quests and a list perks were all there, though all were currently blank. The words level one along with an empty an empty progress bar beneath appeared at the top of their filed of view, though only visible to themselves and not the other.
Neither of the two friends had time to examine the new features in detail as the words under their models shifted again.
“Analyzing Purpose: Class Selection”
"Class selected: Juggernaut.” Appeared under Leon’s character.
Leon blinked. "Juggernaut?" he repeated, unsure what to make of the development.
Edward snickered, “I think that's the fantasy term for fatty.”
But before Leon could respond, Edward’s display changed too:
"Class selected: Snake Charmer.”
“What like I’m going to play the flute?” Edward asked.
It was Leon's turn to laugh. “No bro, the game just called you a homo.”
It took Edward a second to understand. “Not funny,” he said swatting his best friend on the arm, blushing somehow harder. “This is seriously messed up. We need to go to the hospital or something.”
“Relax charmochondriac, don't you see what’s happening?”
“Group psychosis?” Edward guessed.
“No dude, we are in a video game, and we fucking rule at video games.”
“Leon” Edward said warningly. Before he could say more though quests populated onto both their displays.
“Dude chill this is awesome. My first quest is easy too. I bet I can get level ten before you.”
Edward wasn’t as ready to accept this rapid series of unexplainable events but he also wasn’t ready to let his best friend think he was a chicken. “Fine. I’ll meet you back at the house when I kick your ass.”
Leon laughed and with that both boys raced out the door, shoving each other playfully to get out first. From there both took off to opposite sides of campus, towards their various objectives and their differing yet intimately intertwined destinies.
-
Leon raced, or his version which was something between a fast walk and an awkward jog, across campus to his first quest. It seemed easy enough: “Go to the gym” it read. Leon wasn’t exactly one for physical fitness but he at least knew where the health center was from campus orientation tour.
Despite his slow pace by the time he reached it he was out of breath. For a moment he stood in front of automatic double doors, panting and intimidated. He stuck out like a sore thumb on this part of campus, dressed in the ratty strained Superman shirt and baggy shorts his protruding belly and wild unkempt hair stood in stark contrast to the muscular adonis in low tank tops and tall fit women in matching sports sets who brushed by him without a second thought. Mustering his courage Leon walked through the doors and into the gym. His ears were greeted by the sound of slamming weights, rhythmic grunts, and a small ding as he completed his first quest and leveled up. He watched as the experience bar filled fully, bumping his level up to two and filling his vision with notifications. The bar continued to fill until it had reached halfway to the next level. A notification appeared in a gray box with plain white blocky text.
You have reached level two. You receive attribute points based on your class: +3 Strength, +1 Charisma +0.3 Intelligence.
Leon grinned as he felt himself change. He couldn’t actually feel himself getting smarter or more charismatic. He wasn't sure if that was because those were more cognitive stats or if it was because the increase was marginal compared to his strength. Either way, it was a strength that Leon felt himself receive. It wasn't much. Leon didn’t suddenly become a hulk or a bodybuilder but he felt something shift. His shoulders widened slightly, his chest inflated a bit and his butt became less saggy. A single vein buried deep in the layers of fat in his arm engorged itself with blood and snaked its way to the surface, pushed upwards by growing muscle and diminishing fat. He felt physically stronger, faster, like he might be able to actually run a bit without throwing up. He didn't actually look all that different, a quarter of an inch taller, a few pounds shifted from fat to muscle, but inside he felt amazing, electric, like this is what he was made for. Leon suspected that feeling had to do with the other notification waiting for him just below the first.
“You have gained a class perk.”
“Gym Rat: as a juggernaut, you feel comfortable in all athletic spaces.”
Leon felt all his worries and insecurities about being in the gym fade away. He scanned his student ID and strode past the muscled jock at the front counter confidently, flashing him a smile and a slight wave. Leon felt just as comfortable in the gym as if he was at the comic book shop, no more, he felt like he was at home chilling with Edward, like he could do anything and give a damn about who judged him. Leon knew he should be concerned about how this game had physically changed his body and mind so easily but he was too invigorated, too electrified, and he had another quest to do.
“Do a push-up.” It read simply.
Leon hadn’t tried to do a push-up since 8th grade gym class but he felt confident he was capable of it with the boost to strength he had received. Leon weaved through the various machines and stations manned by the university’s resident hunks and athletes, some gave him dirty looks but most looked right through him. Leon found he couldn’t care less. He found a corner of the free mat and assumed the push-up position. Despite the recent slight boost to his athleticism, it was a task easier said than done. Leon went down as far as he could until he felt his arms begin to shake, about an inch, then pushed himself up with substantial effort.
To his disappointment, the quest still read as incomplete. He reasoned it must be due to his, form. He tried to go lower but ended up face-first on the mat, unable to push himself up. He went to his knees and did a push-up but that didn’t count either. Nor did a push-up with his butt out in the air, or one in which he rested on the ground for a few seconds in the middle. Leon was about to give up when he saw a guy around his age approach.
He didn't have the same gorilla bulk as some of the huge men in the gym but his body was visibly lean and defined through his tee-shirt, maybe a runner. “Need any help there” he asked. Leon couldn’t tell if he was being genuine or mocking but his new total comfort in the gym provided by his “Gym Rat” perk made him not care.
“I’m trying to do a push-up.”
“Just one?” The guy asked with a grin.
“Gotta start somewhere,” Leon said humbly.
“Your problem is your stance.” He said. He instructed Leon to assume the plank position and then went about correcting Leon’s form. His arms were too close together, his core was not properly engaged, back not fully straight. The man introduced himself as Cal and then instructed Leon to try again. Leon tried another pushup lowering his body slowly “Lower, lower” Cal called Leon and complied though his face turned red and he wanted to die. Cal didn't let him stop till the tip of his dick was practically touching the mat. Then he went back up, slowly and with more exertion than he had ever used in his whole life.
He was rewarded with a ding and a slew of notifications.
“You have reached level three. You receive attribute points based on your class: +3 Strength, +1 Charisma +0.3 Intelligence.”
“You have gained a class perk.”
“Perfect Form: as a juggernaut, you instinctually know the proper form to maximize the performance of any athletic endeavor.”
Leon felt his body shift again from where it lay crumpled on the mat. His stomach deflated slightly, and under his man boobs pecs started to form. His legs lengthened a bit causing his shorts to only reach his knees instead of past them. The changes were as small as the first but Leon couldn’t help but feel amazed. He tried to do another push-up and found that his body now naturally assumed the perfect position without him having to think about it. With his new points in strength, he was able to push out another perfect military-style push-up, and two more before he flopped down onto the mat, fully spent.
“You're getting the hang of it,” Cal said smiling. If he had seen Leon's body change he made no indication. “good luck on your workout,” he called out as he left.
“Yeah see you around man” Leon called after him. He felt on cloud nine. At this rate, Leon would reach level 10 by the hour. On cue, two more quests appeared for him to complete. He wondered how Edward was doing, if he had even gained one level by now. Maybe once Leon had power gamed his way into OP status he could help his friend with a quest or two.
-
Edward walked across the quad at a brisk pace. He would have run if his bony arms and legs didn't make him look like a chicken when he did. Edward wasn’t quite as sold on this whole bizarre real life video game thing as Leon was but he also wasn’t about to let Leon leave him in the dust. Edward's first quest was pretty simple if non-specific, “be within 50 feet of 30 or more people”.
Edwards tendency to avoid large crowds gave him the advantage of knowing exactly where they often were. The coffee shop by the quad came right to his mind. At this time of the day, the place was packed with students either leaving or going to their mid-day classes. The place terrified Edward, the thought of so many eyes on him, judging him, mocking him, and yet Edward reasoned there was no harm in at least checking the place out, it not as if the quest required him to talk to anyone.
As he walked Edward wondered at the game. Leon, true to self had accepted the game right away without question. If his friend was muscular instead of fat he might be called a himbo. It wasn’t that he was dumb, he was getting a degree in public health, but he also didn't have a habit of thinking things through particularly throughly. Their freshmen year Leon had built a glider out of the shower curtain and broke his arm jumping off the second floor of their dorm with it. And last year Leon had thought it was a good idea to subscribe to some shady porn website that had given his computer a virus so corruptive even tech wizard Alvis couldn’t remove it.
Though they were inseparable best friend Edward was the opposite. He was much more cautious about everything, sometimes to irrational extremes. Last semester Edward had almost dropped out because he was too nervous to get approval for his classes from his sociology advisor. If he was scared of his sixty-five year old sweet as candy professor talking to guys he liked was surly out of the question, not that he would have any hope of success with his appearance.
As Edward walked across the quad he avoided eye contact with students crowded onto the open green sitting and chatting or throwing frisbees. Edward felt drowned in the sea of people, though the lawn wasn’t nearly dense enough to fulfill the quest.
The line for the coffee shop was out the door which made him want to throw up. He walked slowly forward waiting for the quest to complete. Finally, when he was only a few feet away, practically in line the quest was fulfilled and his experience bar to level two filled fully.
Edward heard a “ding” in his head and several notifications filled his vision startling him.
“You have reached level two. You receive attribute points based on your class: +3 Charisma, +1 Intelligence +0.3 Strength.”
“You have gained a class perk.”
“People Person: Those around you feel your natural charm and are more likely to accept you in a neutral or positive way, potentially even striking up a conversation.”
Edward felt a strange itch on his brow and a pressure on his jaw but ignored it. He didn't know what to make of the messages. The stats seemed somewhat consistent with role-playing video games, and he supposed the break down made sense with his class. Still, he wasn’t sure how something like charisma would be incorporated into real life, nor his new People Person perk. As a sociology major Edward knew all too well how complex human interaction was. The perk seemed to imply that not only would the game be changing him but also the people around him and their perceptions. He wasn’t sure if that was even possible not to mention ethical.
“Introduce yourself to a stranger,” the next quest said popping up on the side of Edward's vision. That more than any ethical quandary made Edward scared. It was all well and good for the game to claim that people would react positively to Edward but he knew firsthand that wasn’t true.
“Hey, are you in line” two girls who had walked up behind him asked. Edward froze, realizing he had positioned himself at an awkward spot half in line half not. The girls didn't seem disgusted by his presence but they also didn't seem particularly enthralled, they just wanted to get their coffee.
Edward nodded his head, the best he could do with his crippling social anxiety. He moved more obviously in line and the girl went back to chatting. As the line crept closer Edward tried and failed several times to work up the courage to introduce himself to the girls. He came up with various scenarios in his head of how he could make an introduction, all of which ended with the girl calling him a creep.
Finally, after ten minutes, Edward reached the front of the line. He realized in his attempts to complete the quest he hadn’t so much as glanced at the menu.
“What will you be having today” a tall tan worker asked, his tattooed arms pleasantly stretching out the sleeves of his shirt. Edward just opened and closed his mouth like a fish, mind suddenly blank of every coffee drink ever, including coffee.
The worker, whose name tag ironically read “Tag” saw his confusion and smiled. “It's a big menu I know. It's fall, so you can never go wrong with a PSL.” He saw Edwards look confused and he sheepishly clarified “Pumpkin spice latte.”
“I’ll do that,” Edward said, voice quiet but clear. He took a deep breath then before he could think about it blurted out “I’m Edward by the way”.
Tag gave a handsome grin and wrote the name on a cup. “Thanks, Edward, I’ll that get you out for you right away.”
Edward heard a “ding” but ignored it and the notifications that popped up as he paid on the tablet Tag turned towards him. His hands shook as he selected the largest tip options and stumbled over to the designated area to stand while waiting for a drink and looked at the notifications.
“You have reached level three. You receive attribute points based on your class: +3 Charisma, +1 Intelligence, +0.3 Strength.”
“You have gained a class perk.”
“Social Sync: You are naturally attuned to the tone and rhythm of conversation making awkward pauses and interruptions a thing of the past.”
New quests popped up as well, two this time. “Make someone laugh” and “Offer someone advice.”
As the messages appeared Edward felt the same strange pain in his face, like the soreness he sometimes got after smiling all day with Leon. He lifted a hand to his face and felt skin much smoother than his normal rough, dry, pockmarked complexion. His weak chin, which had always been a source of insecurity no longer felt totally concave but pushed out somewhat lending a strange sharpness to his jaw. Edward was about to take out his phone to examine his reflection when he heard a voice beside him.
“He’s so dreamy, isn’t he,” a man said in his right ear. All his life Edward had been painfully scrawny, wrists the size of cucumber and ribs showing through his pale skin. This man was even more slender like he could break with a strong gust of wind. He held a coffee cup that had the name Trent on the side. The guy didn't seem to mind Edwards's silence and continued staring at Tag longingly. “The coffee here is so bitter but the eye candy is so sweet” he mused.
“Yeah that guy is what I would call a full-sized candy bar” the comment came out before Edward had time to think. It was a mediocre joke, wordy and unoriginal to a fault, but to painfully shy and unfunny Edward he felt like he was a standup comedian. Trent smiled and gave a slight chuckle, though his quest remained incomplete, probably because the laugh was fake.
“He’s a Snickers, and let's just say I’m not allergic to nuts.” Edward tried again, this time eliciting a better reaction from Trent. A slight giggle was all it took for the quest to complete and Edwards' experience bar to increase half the way to level four.
“Well both of us are going to go hungry. He’s straight.”
“Really” Edward asked. As a closeted gay until he was 19, when he had finally worked up the courage to tell Leon, Edward thought he had pretty good gaydar, and that Tag guy was anything but straight. “How do you know?” He asked Social Sync perk causing him to put the perfect pause between his declaration of doubt and his question without him even noticing.
“He used to date some girl” Trent responded with a touch of disgust.
“Maybe he’s bi,” Edward said and Trent’s face lit up as if he had never considered the thought.
“Oh wow, do you really think so” He asked excitedly. “Now that you say it he is kind of flirty when he gives me my drink.”
“You should just go up and talk to him” Edward advised sagely. “I mean what is the worst that could happen.” The advice was hollow seeing as how Edward had never even breathed in the direction of any of his crushes. Trent seemed to sense this and looked at Edward dubiously. The game system however didn't seem to care. It marked his “give advice” quest as complete and alerted him he had reached level four with a ding. At this rate, Leon didn't stand a chance of reaching level ten before him.
“You have reached level four. You receive attribute points based on your class: +3 Charisma, +1 Intelligence, +0.3 Strength.”
“Sage: Your charisma gives you an innate knowledge of people's desires, both conscious and unconscious. Note: The higher your charisma the more attuned this sense becomes. Note: this effect is 92.22% more effective on people with a penis.”
Edward felt a shift both in his physiology and in his brain, like before he felt his face move, bones like continental plates drifting every so slightly apart into a more attractive configuration.
Inside his head, he felt something shift far more drastically. The three +1 boosts to his intelligence had been so slight he barely noticed them, just a slight speeding up of his thoughts and a boost to his reasoning ability. This new change in his mind was drastic, impossible not to notice. A sixth sense emerged, filling his head with a source of knowledge he wasn’t quite sure what to do with. It was almost as if he had gained the ability to read minds only not so strong and without any words, only feelings. Suddenly Edward felt Trent’s desire, a sexual one, not just for the barista, but also for the group of frat boys in the corner of the shop and strangely enough for Edward. He felt others' desires too, though much less clearly.
Two guys standing to his left both hoped the other would buy the alcohol for tonight's party. The other men in the shop only gave wisps of desire. Edward suspected that had something to do with proximity and his still relatively low charisma.
The women on the other hand Edward could barely sense, only receiving a small tingle like TV static instead of anything readable. Edward wondered at that strange 92.22% bonus towards men. Edward took a moment to reflect on the class he had been assigned. Could Leon be right? Could the name of his class be a gay joke, that he was meant to charm not venomous creatures in baskets but instead the snake in men's pants? It seemed somehow too vulgar for a video game though Edward knew that was illogical. If it was true it begged some concerning questions, like how the game had known he was gay and what exactly it was setting him up to do.
“Would you go talk to him?” Trent asked suddenly snapping Edward back to the present. His sixth sense faded to the back of his mind, though he could still sense Trent’s desire. “Sorry I know that's a lot to ask but I think you would have more luck than me.” He looked at Edward with puppy dog eyes filled with earnest hope. “Be my wingman?”
A notification appeared obscuring a part of Edward’s vision.
“Quest offered! Set up Trent and Tag romantically. Reward: XP”
A box under the quest notification had two boxes with “yes” and “no” options. Edward had no idea how to select either option. Out loud he said “I’ll do my best,” the notification disappeared and reappeared small in the quest part of his interface.
Trent smiled “Really? I can’t thank you enough.” He felt Trent’s desire shift from lust to hope. “Just like using a pickup line or something. Don’t make it too awkward” he said suddenly nervous.
“Don’t worry I got this,” Edward said with about 1000% times more confidence than he felt. He had absolutely no business getting other people's tail when he was still a virgin himself. Edward just knew he was going to make an absolute fool of himself.
-
It turned out that the quests to advance to level four were not as easy as Leon had imagined. The first quest “run a lap” proved exhausting but doable. Leon made his way to the elevated track that encircled the gym and with perfect form, if less perfect endurance, ran the loop. Before the game, Leon would have had to walk most of it, but the two levels and six points he had gained in strength allowed him to push through with a slow jog. The quest's completion bumped him 3/4 of the way to level four. He had no doubt the other quest would get him all the way there if only it was possible.
“Do a pull-up.” How hard could one pull up be? Extremely difficult it turned out. Dangling from the elevated bar Leon tried with all his might to heft his flabby body up. He only managed to lift his head halfway before the effort became too much and he was forced to give up.
Leon knew it wasn’t his form keeping him from completing the exercise like it had been with the push-up. Instead, it came down to a plain and simple lack of strength. Leon didn't know what to do. He felt frustrated that he had hit a roadblock so soon. He looked at the experience progress bar, so tantalizingly close to the next level. Maybe he would have to do it the old-fashioned way. Train his back and his biceps extensively until he could do a pull-up on his own. Leon knew something like that would take weeks if not months but he was nothing if not stubborn.
Determined not to give up Leon found a set of dumbbells and began to lift with perfect form. The activity didn't provide the same instant gratification as leveling up did, but Leon was starting to understand how people could get addicted to this. As he worked his eyes wandered to the graphical display imprinted on either side of his vision. He found he could unfocus on the information and the display would blur unobscuring his vision. He focused again and the quest and progress bar came back into his field of vision. Leon couldn’t tell if he was imagining it but it seemed as if the bar was more full. He did a few more curls and watched the progress bar tick up the tiniest amount. He lifted the other arm and it moved again. He grabbed the largest weight he could conceivably lift and using all this strength curled it with both arms, the progress bar moved, still not much but more than before. Leon grinned. He was pretty sure he had just found an exploit.
Thirty minutes later a tired Leon prepared for his last set of leg presses to get him to level four. The “exploit” he had found wasn’t as much of a hack as he had originally hoped. Working out gave him experience to fill the bar but not nearly as efficiently as quests. He had to go from machine to machine loading up the maximum amount of weight he could lift, not much, and completing various exercises until that part of his body was completely exhausted. His “perfect form” perk ensured that he was able to complete each exercise to its fullest despite not knowing how to do any of the exercises. All he had to do was approach a machine or a set of weights and his body would suddenly assume the position.
Even with his perfect form protecting him from injury Leon was exhausted. The day's gym session was more exercise than he had ever done in his life. His hair was matted to his forehead and dark sweat spots had appeared around the collar and pits of his Superman shirt. His body felt like a sack of bricks like he could fall asleep and not wake up till his next birthday. Leon persisted and as he performed his tenth leg press he heard a ding. His legs slammed back to their resting position and he breathed heavily, feeling his body begin to change and notifications pop up.
“You have reached level four. You receive attribute points based on your class: +3 Strength, +1 Charisma +0.3 Intelligence.”
“You have gained a class perk.”
“Animal Endurance: The rate at which athletic activities tire you is decreased significantly while the rate of recovery is greatly improved. Note: the potency of this effect scales off of strength.”
Leon felt his muscles harden, his arms bulge, his legs bulk up and shift. His core burned as his abs shredded themselves and strengthened. The layer of fat on Leon’s body, though still present thinned. Underneath it his muscles went from average to distinctly fit, no great titan yet but also not a slouch either. His weariness from all the exercise it took to reach level four drained away thanks to his perk and Leon once again felt reinvigorated.
He marched over to the nearest pull-up bar and with only a small amount of effort hoisted himself up with the power of his upper body. The completed quest brought him a third of the way up to level five. Two more quests appeared. “Bench press a third of your body weight.” And “exchange workout tips”. Neither seemed especially difficult.
Leon looked around to see if he could find Cal to knock out the more social of the quests but the helpful runner was nowhere to be seen. Instead, Leon found a benchpress machine and went to load it up. Leon was shocked to realize he had no idea what his body weight was. Before Altered Reality, Leon had weighed 230 pounds, now though he could be anything. Leon squinted at the holographic display in the sides of his vision and found with effort he was able to bring up a stats page.
Leon:
210 Pounds
5’10’’ Feet
Strength: 11
Charisma: 7
Intelligence: 8.9
When he played video games with his roommates Alvis was the one who focused on the numbers, min-maxing his character to be the strongest possible. Edward liked to talk to the NPCs, to understand the story, and Leon, well Leon liked to punch things and not worry too much about the boring stuff. Still, with his 8.9 in intelligence, Leon couldn't help but notice some changes to his body composition. There was the inch in height his body had gained from those three levels and the twenty pounds of weight he had lost. Leon suspected the total loss was more like 30 or 40 pounds of fat but that the added muscle made up the difference. His stats were interesting too. Leon hadn’t much thought about it but based on the quests and perks he had received the Juggernaut class seemed to be one that focused on athleticism. Despite that, he still received a marginal boost to charisma and intelligence at each level which he supposed were meant to keep him well rounded. Leon did the math, the current numbers would mean that his intelligence before the game had been eight, which seemed right, and his strength a two, also unfortunately right. The four in charisma seemed rude, but Leon supposed he had never had much luck with women for a reason.
Doing math once again Leon loaded up the bench press, factoring in the weight of the bar to reach seventy pounds one-third of his weight. He assumed the position under it, with perfect form thanks to his perk; then with substantial effort, Leon lifted the bar over his chest and with as much control as he could manage lowered it. That was the easy part, the hard part was pushing it back up. Leon clenched his toes, bugged his eyes, and pushed with all his eleven strength upward. His mind suddenly flashed to the bar crushing him, rolling down onto his neck and ending this game. Panic more than determination got the bar up and back to its starting position. The quest was completed and the progress bar to level five was filled in another third.
Only once the bar was fully returned to its resting position could Leon see the girl standing over him, upside down from his prone view.
“I was ready to pull that thing off you.” The girl said in something between a mix of condescension and admiration. Leon sat up.
“Umm, thanks.” He said nervously. He recognized this girl from his advanced biology seminar, although she didn't seem to know him. She looked very pretty with her high ponytail and tight yoga pants, which only made his voice stutter more. “I’m Leon.”
“Cassy,” she said.
An idea came to his mind. “Got any tips for this one?” Leon asked, hoping to knock out his remaining quest.
Before Cassy could answer though a tall man in a low-cut tank top that showed off his ripped torso and cannonball shoulders approached and wrapped his mammoth vascular arms around her. “Cassy, why the fuck are you talking to this fatty?” He asked as if Leon were some flaming garbage outside his window, offensive to his sight. Leon recognized him as a member of Alpha Sigma, one of the best and most dickish fraternities on campus.
“Fuck off Hunter” Cassy said rolling her eyes.
“Yeah fuck off Hunter” Leon repeated. He instantly regretted it.
Hunter's eyes went wide, and a vein on his neck began to pulse. Leon stared back at him with a level of defiance he knew defied both the social order and logic. Leon had always been brash, a trait now manifested in full force by the extreme comfort he felt in the gym due to his Gym Rat perk.
Cassy shot him a look asking if he was trying to get himself killed then turned to Hunter to defuse the situation. “Come on babe let's go.”
Hunter heard none of it. He got right up in Leon's face so close Leon could smell the sweat on his body and the ZYN in his breath. “Listen here tubby, this is a gym. The McDonalds is down the street. Now fuck off or I’ll turn your happy meal into chicken tenders. Ya hear?” He stood up and started to walk away Cassy unhappily following after him. “And don’t ever talk to my girl again homo.”
Leon knew he should be scared but instead, he found the whole interaction funny, his “Gym Rat” perk really might be working too well. “Got any gym tips for me” he called after Hunter, wanting to still get something out of the interaction. He couldn’t wait till he was bigger than that arrogant prick and no one could talk to him that way.
The frat bro turned around “Eat a fucking salad” he called. Leon’s last quest remained incomplete. He wondered why for a second then realized it said “exchange workout tips.”
“You should really get off the roids, it's killing the last two of your brain cells,” Leon called after him. Hunter moved to turn around, probably to beat the shit out of Leon but Cassy grabbed his hand and dragged him away. The quest completed and Leon reached level five. Not too bad for seven charisma he thought proudly. The now familiar ding sounded along with a wall of notifications. Leon began to feel strange. A biting ache began to thrum in the pit of his stomach. Doubled over Leon rushed to the bathroom, careful to head in in the opposite direction of Hunter and Cassy.
He burst into the empty men's room and then into the nearest stall he could find. As he sat on the toilet the pain intensified. Something was happening and it hurt like all hell.
-
Edward had no idea why Trent had even started talking to him. That wasn’t something people ever did to ugly Edward, maybe point and whisper, but never strike up a conversation and surly never ask him for help. It must be his stupid charisma and perks scrambling everyone's brain he concluded. Edward was about to turn back to Trent and tell him he had made a mistake and that he actually couldn’t help him when he heard “Edward” yell from behind the bar. He saw Tag the sexy fit barista holding a steaming to-go cup and looking around the coffee shop for Edward. Trent gave him an encouraging smile and a thumbs up.
Edward felt as if he was moving in slow motion like he was making his way to the gallows. Tag saw him coming and smiled, extending the drink towards him. Edward reached out to take the drink, his finger ever so slightly brushing up against Tag’s hand in the process. He wasn’t sure if it was the touch or just the proximity but he felt his new “Sage” perk activate in vivid detail.
A picture suddenly flashed in Edward’s mind. A subterranean location full of flashing lights and loud rhythmic music, a rave Edward realized. He saw Tag standing alone in an open button-down shirt showing off sexy tattooed muscles. Edward flashed back to reality. His sudden vision had caused him to linger a bit too long grabbing his drink and he jerked his hand away awkwardly.
Edward retracted his hand and gave a smile hoping to save the moment. “Hey, are you going to the rave tonight?” Edward asked as casually as he could “I think I have seen you at a few before. I heard the one tonight is supposed to be especially hype.”
Tag seemed surprised for a moment then reassessed Edward his demeanor shifting from customer service friendly, to peer in-group easygoing. “You mean sewer fest? I want to man, but all my friends are busy tonight and I don’t want to go alone.”
“Oh damn that sucks,” Edward said. He was mindful of the stares he was getting from the other students around him but couldn’t bring himself to care, this was going too well. “I wish I could go but I have a paper I have to write tonight. My friend Trent was actually just saying he was thinking about going though.” Edward pointed back at Trent who gave a little wave.
“Oh, I know him.” Tag said when he saw Trent. “That would be sick man. I really don’t want to miss Sewer Fest. How about this,” he took a cup sleeve and started to write on it, “Give your friend my number and tell him to text me” he handed it to Edward.
“Will do. You two have fun” Edward said as he walked away. Trent looked at him wide-eyed and was about to say something but Edward made a signal that they shouldn’t talk about it inside.
“This is for you,” Edward said as he handed Trent Tag’s number once they were outside.
“No way. You're actually a god. How did you do that?” Trent asked amazed.
“Don’t get too excited,” Edward said sheepishly. “You're going to a rave, and it’s in the sewer.”
“A rave? You know what, I’ll take it. I really can’t thank you enough.”
“Oh, it was nothing. Honestly, you helped me just as much as I helped you.”
Trent ignored the cryptic comment. “Well I should go, I guess I have to find an outfit to wear to a sewer. Would all white be a bad idea?” He handed Edward his phone. “Will you put your number in my phone? I’ll text you how tonight goes.”
The two exchanged information then Trent left. Edward stood there sipping his latte, which really was too bitter. He saw Trent typing out a message on his phone as he walked away.
Moments later Edward heard a “ding” as the quest was completed and he reached level five. Notifications sprung up in his vision, more than usual. Edward couldn’t read them, he couldn’t focus on anything. His mostly full coffee slipped out of his hand and spilled onto the ground as a golden nebula sprung up around him and his face and body were wracked with pain. He started to scream.
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So I absolutely love all your thoughts and ideas about a fem Stan, but what about a fem Ford? I feel like that could also be a really fun dynamic. Stan trying to be the man and protecting fem!Ford from bullies, but is really just entirely wrapped around Fords fingers. And then! The jealousy could come into play in other ways! Like Stan starts dating someone and Ford is pissed about it so she leaves a lipstick mark on his collar or subtly sprays him with perfumes so that Stans partner thinks he was cheating and leaves him. And the obsessionnn. Imagine her stealing Stan’s shirts and sleeping in them just because they smell like him. Or staring at him while he sleeps and sketching him in her personal diary (though let’s be real, canon Ford did that too lol.) Anyways, I also like the idea of all of these pent up feeling finally coming out and her just riding Stan until he can’t think straight and her being like “that’s right, you’ll never have it this good with anyone else.” Idk. Thoughts?
Hello new friend! Thank you for enjoying my thoughts and ideas about fem!Stan, and for now kickstarting a conversation about fem!Ford too! I have a lot of thoughts. So many, in fact, that before moving to the shippy part, I need to focus on Ford alone, first. What would differ, was he born a girl. Quite a lot. I’m gonna be blunt. All things Ford had been oppressed by, in canon, would hit ten times harder, if he was a girl. Take academic ambitions, for example: I’m not saying that fem!Ford’s extraordinary intelligence wouldn’t had earned her praise. I just doubt she would had been encouraged to pursue higher education, and convert her studies into a career. A jewish WOMAN into STEM? Back then? I don’t think any of her teachers suggested she shoots for a prestigious university- why give her and her family unrealistic expectations? Ma and Pa would had been happy to have a smart, studious daughter, but I’m sure the idea to invest into her studies would had been up to debate, if not shot down immediately: to spend that type of money, when her likely future job would be either high school science teacher, or museum curator- would had been a pointless waste, to someone like Filbrick Pines.
To be honest, I think teen fem!Ford would had rather been encouraged, by her parents, to attend professional classes instead, something like a typewriting course- in order to find a stable secretary job, for example, after high school. Can you imagine, someone with Ford’s potential, being told “Well honey, at least you can put those extra fingers to a practical use, if you learn to type very fast”? Can you imagine how UTTERLY humiliated fem!Ford must had felt, all the time? Just like Ford, I think she’d be perfectly aware what a genius she is, and how drastically she’s been underestimated. And yet, she’d have to take in consideration the evidence: it doesn’t matter how great her mind is. They are right, there’s no place that would want her. The only person that would root for her, ever the dreamer, would be Stanley. He’d just take her hands, wipe her tears away, and promise, with naive, granitic certainty, that he will find a way to help her. His plans would range from completely unrealistic and cartoonish (“Ya could invent a machine that turns me into a brainiac, and once Pa send me to that tech uni ya like, I’ll sneak you in the classes, and you’ll take my place!”), to painfully sweet, albeit still unrealistic (“If Pa doesn’t want to support ya, I’ll take two or three jobs and pay for your studies and stuff myself!”). Stanley would look at his sister with bright eyes, and a huge optimistic grin, stating that she’s the smartest gal that ever existed, so there’s NO WAY she won’t become some posh scientist and prove everyone in Glass Shard Beach wrong. Every time Stanley would pull his stupid, naive, adoring Protector Knight acts, fem!Ford would feel so angry at herself for blushing, and for her heart-rate speeding up. Because it’s so intoxicating to be believed in, but she can’t afford to fall for Stanley’s overly-hopeful view of her condition, and she can’t afford to fall for him either. And this brings me to yet another point I wanted to make: self-esteem, and societal expectations.
If canon Ford’s hands got him bullied, and classified as freak- for a girl, they would had also been a mark of ugliness and considered remarkably un-feminine. I bet F., as a little girl, suffered a lot for having more in common with the grotesque antagonistic creatures of her favorite books, rather than the princess. And I’m sure EVERYONE around her didn’t fail to make her notice too. In subtle ways, sometimes. Like her mom suggesting she gets ear-rings, for her birthday, rather than bracelets, because it would be best not to concentrate more attention on those, right? Even if teen fem!Ford would act aloof, as if she didn’t care anymore, she’d be so self conscious about her large palms and extra fingers- so unfeminine and gross- she’d fantasize about chopping them off quite often. If Stanley hadn’t happily held her hand throughout their childhood, and “made fun” of how tiny her hands look in his large ones, as teenagers, maybe she would have, in a fit of self-hate. Thing is, fem!Ford would hold grudges and set secret standards in her head. It’s not like she thinks she’d never be able to get a boyfriend, despite her hands: she doesn’t look horrible, she’d be pretty, even, if she cared for her appearance like her moms begs her to do- but F. wouldn’t be able to suppress the burning conviction that “No other man but Stanley deserves me”. Other men may want her despite her hands, but Stanley was there since the beginning, telling her her hands make her more special than any other girl, like she was magical, like she belong in the fairy tales book she used to read aloud to him. What a stab to the heart, then, that she can’t have him. Not only because they are siblings, but because, just like you said, Stanley would date someone else. Carla, and some other stupid bitch that F. would need to get rid of, because they don’t deserve Stanley like she does neither! I love all the strategies you listed, to “mark her territory” and push other girls away!! I love toxic, jealous girlies!! I don’t condone Ford’s yanderism, but fem!Ford has my blessing. She can be a creep, as a treat. As for the part you mentioned, about fem!Ford snapping and riding Stan- YES I also agree, AND I’d like to add to it. In this AU, Stanley isn’t a misogynist in the classic sense: he doesn’t consider his sister an inferior at all. But… he would not be immune to absorbing the Madonna-whore complex:Girls like Carla- he can fool around with, because they are that kind of girls. Promiscuous, slutty- bad girls. But his sister is different. She’s so virtuous, so smart- his pure, innocent little sister. Stanley would NEVER lay a finger on her. Yes, he may admit to himself he is in love with her, which is also horrible, but at least he would never, ever sexualize her. Cue Stanley playing dumb, or finding excuses to weasel away, whenever fem!Ford flirted with him, or even made clear advances- during the entire length of their teenage years. Until fem!Ford just. Decided she couldn’t take it anymore, stripped naked, slipped into Stan’s bed, and grinded and kissed his neck until he caved, lmao. I have even more thoughts, but it’s getting late, here. I must cut the yapping short, for now. Please, feel free to come chat again, and throw more ideas of your own at me! Thank you for this one, MMMMWAH, baci baci!
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— DECEPTION (X – ADAR)
DECEPTION MASTERLIST ALTERNATIVE ENDING (SAURON)
PAIRING — Sauron x fem!Elf!Reader // Adar x fem!Elf!Reader
SUMMARY — You are trying your best to support Adar even when his own children are starting to doubt him. Another challenge that you must face is him learning about your secret.
AUTHOR’S NOTE — First of all, thank you so much for your comments under every part and your support because this fic (and this fandom) was what brought back my joy for writing! 😊 This part is less canon-like than the alternative ending where The Reader chooses Sauron but I just had to give them a happy ending here! 🥰 BTW, I was googling the Elven word for "mother" and I hope I used the right one because there were so many... 😫
WARNINGS — forced/arranged marriage, Reader is NOT a good person – she is proud, greedy, fake and corrupted by Sauron, "love" triangle situationship
WORD COUNT — 4,450
ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.
DECEPTION (X – ADAR)
You spent the rest of the day and half of the night inside the forest, in your new favourite place, feeling uneasy. Alone, just in case Sauron wanted to reach out to you again. But he was not making such attempts and it was making you anxious more than ever. His wrath was something you did not want to experience yourself and you knew very well that you had earned it.
Nervously fidgeting with the wedding band around your finger, you were sitting there by the fallen tree and listening to the sounds of the battle taking place nearby. Once more, you felt like sneaking back into the camp, stealing your own horse and running away to some place where no one knew you. But you knew you could not. You had to face the consequences of your actions.
Eventually, you took a deep breath in and decided to find Adar. You needed him close to feel safe and secure again because your anxiety was growing bigger and bigger with each given moment.
You found him near your shared tent, surrounded by the Orcs, small fires to light the path and all the war machines that made you realise how truly close you were to the battle indeed and how serious the situation was.
As you were approaching Adar from one side, you spotted Glûg walking up to him from the opposite one, with some of his friends standing behind as if they were waiting for him to speak to their Lord Father in the name of them all.
“Lord Father,” Glûg started just when you stood next to your husband and wrapped your trembling hands around his arm, happy that he was still there; that Sauron’s rage had not taken him away from you just yet. “The wall is stronger than we thought,” Glûg continued with his head slightly bowed down. “We may not breach it before morning. The Elf is faring better than you expected,” he added. “His troops have already destroyed five of our trebuchets. Many Uruk are dying,” he emphasised, his voice filled with pain and fear. “What are your orders, Lord Father? Shall we sound retreat?”
“No,” Adar’s answer was quick, nearly harsh. It caused a shiver to go down your spine as you watched with interest the conversation between him and his son. “Sauron must not escape,” Adar stated and turned around in your direction, putting his arm around your back to walk you inside the tent. “Bring down that wall. At any cost,” he added.
“Adar!” Glûg exclaimed and you exchanged a meaningful look with your husband. There was desperation but also a hint of disappointment mixed with anger in the Orc’s voice. You both froze and turned around to face him once more. “You told us… You loved us,” Glûg reminded his father in the Black Speech and your heart clenched inside your chest at his words that you could understand perfectly well now.
“With all that is left of my heart,” Adar answered with pain but also determination in his voice. Too much to let you become Sauron’s slaves.”
There was no answer from Glûg or any of the Orcs, so Adar left your side and went inside the tent. You hesitated at the sight of their faces, though. Their expressions did not mean anything good.
“Glûg, my dear, come here,” you approached him and put your arm around him as you walked together into a bit more secluded place where no one else could hear you. “Can I trust you?” You asked him and he nodded after a short hesitation, visibly moved with the fact that your hand was on his arm, protectively. “In my short time by your father’s side, you and I spent a lot of time together,” you reminded him. “And I am going to tell you something that not even Adar knows,” you took a deep breath in and moved away slightly from him.
“What is it, my Lady?” He asked, curiously.
“I know Sauron,” you confessed and his eyes widened. “I met him at the dawn of this Age when I was a young maiden,” you explained. “He is no stranger to me, and believe me when I tell you… Your father wants the best for you. There are things about Sauron that he simply cannot reveal to you but he is the most dangerous spirit living amongst us. He cannot be trusted no matter what,” you told Glûg, feeling a sudden heaviness in your heart. You were betraying your lover now but how could you not under such circumstances?
Glûg’s eyes filled with fear but also admiration towards you. You trusted him with your secret and it made him feel special.
“Your father is not entirely rational now but he is doing it all because he loves you so much,” you assured the Orc and patted his arm.
“Yes, my Lady,” Glûg nodded and bowed his head down before hurrying back to his friends.
You took a deep breath in, trying to compose yourself before you would face Adar. But when you entered the tent, he was visibly nervous and angry. You glanced at the pole, to which Lady Galadriel was supposed to be chained to but she was gone.
“What happened?” You asked.
“She escaped,” Adar stood up and showed you a small Elven key Galadriel had to use to get out of her shackles. Suddenly, you realised what Herald Elrond had done while kissing her. He had managed to distract everyone from the fact he had handed her his brooch with a hidden item inside.
“My dear,” you approached him, sensing his nervousness. You placed your hands flat on his chest and tried to soothe him. “Have you ordered already to search for her?”
“Yes, I have,” Adar nodded with a sigh. “I am now going to light the pyres for our fallen children. Are you coming with me?”
“Yes, of course,” you nodded and caressed his cheek softly. “Please, do not make decisions in a haste. Whatever happens, I shall remain by your side,” you promised and he smiled gently at you.
After that, you joined him by the funeral pyre. He lit it up with a torch while saying the phrase in the Black Speech that you had heard him say many times before whenever you had been burying any deceased Orc:
“In flames they return to darkness.”
You stood above him and kept your hand on his arm while he mourned with the Orcs. You looked down sadly, too and squeezed his shoulder as he raised his hand to join your fingers together.
Glûg was standing next to you and you could feel his curious eyes watching you closely throughout the short ceremony.
The battle was getting worse and more ferocious but you remained inside the tent now, nervously patting the surface of the wooden table with your fingers. Then, suddenly, Glûg entered the tent without even announcing himself. You turned around, surprised and raised an eyebrow at him.
“My Lady,” he bowed his head. “Forgive me but I must speak with you.”
“What is it, dear?” You furrowed your brows out of worry as you hurried to his side and put your arm around him once more to invite him inside.
“I come to you because Lord Father remains deaf to my pleas,” Glûg looked into your eyes, looking for compassion.
“What pleas, darling? He will not agree to go back home. Believe me, I’ve tried,” you cracked a sad smile.
“That I know, my Lady,” he nodded. “He has just ordered to send the troll in.”
“And why does that bother you so much?” You inquired. “Have we not brought that creature here to use him in battle?”
“He is killing our own kind!” Glûg tried to protest and you gasped when you realised what truly was the matter here.
“I understand,” you squeezed his arms. “I mourn with you, my dear, I truly do,” you nodded at him and it was not even a lie. “However, we must trust your Lord Father’s orders. In every battle there are heroes who lose their life for bigger ideas; who sacrifice themselves for others. I know how painful it is but our purpose is the most important. Sauron wishes to enslave your kind,” you tried to explain to him as if he was truly a child. “We cannot let him. And every hero amongst the Uruk that loses their life today, will forever be remembered and cherished.”
Glûg looked down, sadly, but you could feel his muscles relaxing a little under your comforting touch.
“All this pain,” he glanced up again to meet your gaze as you took your hands away from him and looked at him, confused. “Why does it hurt so much, Lady Mother?” He asked and his sincerity caused your eyes to fill with tears.
“It hurts me, too, Glûg. It hurts your father as well. It hurts because we love and care,” you explained. “However, some sacrifices must be made if we want to live peacefully in the future. I wish we did not have to but you have Sauron to thank for that and him only,” you added. “Do not forget who is the one who loves you and who is your enemy,” you reminded him and he bowed his head down before leaving your tent.
And when he left and you turned around while taking a deep breath in, you realised how he had called you a few moments ago.
Lady Mother.
You smiled to yourself. Somehow, it filled you with pride to earn this title.
When the dawn came, you could no longer stay in one place. You left the tent and went deeper into the forest to hide between the tall trees. But instead of going straight to your favourite place, you took a small detour, trying to calm down your pounding heart and your shaky breath.
And while walking around like that, you found another beautiful location – a forest clearing with a stone circle that had been built there by the Elves back in the First Age most likely. What surprised you the most about this place, though, was seeing your husband kneeling by the biggest stone in the middle of the circle. And upon that stone, Morgoth’s crown was laid.
“Are you praying, my love?” You whispered nervously as you approached him from behind. You would be very surprised if he said yes.
“How blind I was…” He only said mysteriously and moved his right hand across the stone’s surface, revealing a beautiful Ring on his finger and you gasped.
It was chiming with a beautiful song of the Elves and vibrating with pure lightness. It had to be the Ring Lady Galadriel had mentioned. Her Ring.
Adar raised himself very slowly as you kept watching him with a surprised and nervous expression. When he turned around, your jaw dropped slightly at the sight of his face being healed completely from all the scars and corruption.
He looked now like an ordinary Elf; like he had been before Morgoth. Your heart ached for him and you hurried to his side, reaching your hands out to cup his cheeks but his hands stopped your wrists as he looked into your eyes with a very sad expression.
“Loneliness caused my blindness when it came to you but this Ring made me see… It made me see everything,” he revealed and your heart skipped a beat as your eyes welled with tears instantly.
“Then it surely made you see how much I love you as well,” you breathed out. “And how much I regret everything.”
“I cannot blame you,” Adar let go of your wrists but you did not dare to make an attempt to touch his face this time as you looked down with tears and shame in your eyes. “You were forced to marry me and I know how tempting he can be even to the old and wise and you were nothing but a young maiden.”
“But now you see that my heart is even more rotten than you thought,” you mumbled out.
“On the contrary, my love. Only beautiful things can get corrupted. Your love and devotion towards him were your downfall and no heart able to love and devote itself as much can be rotten,” Adar pointed out and you looked up to meet his gaze once more.
His eyes were soft and sad but still not angry.
“What else do you see with that Ring?” You asked him, curiously.
“I see the future. How it might be if we form an alliance with the Elves. I see that these two items together,” he looked behind at Morgoth’s crown, “are enough to get rid of Sauron.”
“And do you see how much I want this, too?” You bit on your lower lip.
It felt so odd to speak to him when he looked like that. You felt like a child being lectured by an old and wise Elf like all those sages you had met in Mithlond and Eregion back in the day.
Perhaps Adar would be one of them if he had never chosen to follow Morgoth. Perhaps he would be your husband either way – you had been sent to these cities as a young maiden to study. Perhaps you would meet him there and fall in love with him. Even though the circumstances would be different, two Elven souls who loved each other would always find one another.
“I see much more,” Adar smiled softly and shyly reached out for your hand to hold it gently. You allowed him, gladly. “I see new life in the future. A possibility of it at least,” he explained as his voice trembled.
“What would that life be like, though?” Your heart skipped a beat at his words.
“Pure, if that is what you are worrying about. It would be full of Valinor’s light,” he assured you and you cracked a smile.
“It is a possibility I might take under my consideration,” you told him. “One day… After you heal enough from my betrayal to forgive me.”
“I have forgiven you already, my love,” Adar said in the Quenya language as he raised his hand to brush your cheek. “I would forgive you even if you killed me for him.”
“Who would watch over your children then?” You shook your head.
“Our children. You would watch over them. Of that, I am certain, Emel,” Adar smiled.
Mother.
“Glûg called me that yesterday. He called me Lady Mother,” you told your husband, excitedly.
“I know,” he nodded, calmly. He was not surprised but visibly glad. “They have been calling you that behind your back for a while now,” he informed you and his words made you grin widely.
You made one more attempt to cup his healed cheeks and this time he allowed you to. His eyes closed themselves slightly at your touch and you felt warm tears streaming down your face because you wished he had never endured all the pain and suffering Morgoth and Sauron had put him through.
“Do not pity me, my love,” he interrupted your thoughts.
“It is scary how much you can penetrate my mind now,” you admitted with a chuckle and his eyes opened again to look at you.
“I wish it could stay this way,” Adar admitted. “I wish I could hide in yours when mine becomes unbearable.”
“Oh, Adar, my love…” You leaned in to join your lips together in a sweet and loving kiss.
You were interrupted by the sound of footsteps. You moved uncomfortably but Adar was standing still, so you relaxed once more and just went back to kissing him.
“She-Elf turned herself in,” you heard one of the Orcs as he threw a sword on the ground.
You broke the kiss and turned around. It was Lady Galadriel herself, standing there with widened eyes. She could not see Adar yet because you were standing in front of him but she was surprised enough already to witness you two kiss.
“Leave us,” you nodded at the Orcs and they walked away. They were trying to curiously look behind you and see Adar but he looked down as he hid behind you even further.
And he remained this way, as if he was shy to show his true form to Lady Galadriel. So, you took a step to the side to cover him from her even more and your hand found his to hold.
“I accept your terms, Uruks,” Galadriel announced, looking at you since she could not see your husband’s face. “I have what Sauron seeks. End this slaughter and I will do as you asked. I will help you destroy him.”
“How do you expect to destroy Sauron without your Ring?” Adar asked behind you and you slowly moved away as he revealed himself to her.
Galadriel gasped as her eyes widened with wonder.
“It would seem, even wounds that have endured an age, can sometimes yet be healed,” he said, softly.
“Adar…” Galadriel whispered, her voice filled with pain and compassion.
“When last I looked like this, I was known by another name,” he confessed and you stood by his side to wrap your hands around his arm.
“What was it?” Galadriel asked.
“A meaningless name. A name I was given,” Adar shook his head.
“The man he once was is a stranger to us, Galadriel. He should not concern us,” you told her, quoting the words he had once told you when you had asked the same thing.
“Adar is the name I earned,” he smiled softly at you before laying his eyes upon her again. He walked up to Galadriel and you followed him, still clutching to his arm. “Help me to earn it back.”
You watched your husband taking the beautifully crafted ring off and handing it back to Galadriel and your heart sank deeper into your chest when you realised his face was turning paler and greyer once more as his old scars were showing up on his skin again.
Not that you ever cared about them. It was no matter of beauty to you but it was a painful reminder of the suffering he had been through and for that reason you wished for him to be free of them.
And – despite that suffering – he had enough softness inside of him to love his children. Enough softness left deep inside of him to forgive his wife such a betrayal and to even understand her.
You couldn’t help the feeling that you did not deserve Adar but you would do anything from now on to be worthy of him.
“Take it,” he said to Galadriel. “Help me vanquish Sauron with it and I swear to you, we will recall our children to Mordor. Never to make war on Middle-earth again.”
Galadriel’s face filled with pain at his words and at the sight of his face going back to its previous state. She was full of light and compassion at that moment – just like she should always be. You felt bad for her now. For the corruption Sauron had been trying to cause within her, too.
“I have slain more of your children than any Elf alive,” she admitted with remorse and gentleness.
“I forgive you,” Adar said in the Sindarin language and you squeezed his arm tighter.
As you focused on him, you nearly missed the fact that the short silence occurring was caused by the fact Galadriel was looking at you and waiting for your answer, too.
“I am the last person you should seek forgiveness from,” you only said, mysteriously. “I have my own sins to redeem.”
After those words, Galadriel finally reached out for her Ring and took it from Adar’s hand.
“No more flames and no more darkness,” he promised her. “Let this Ring heal the rift between Elf and Uruk,” he added. “Let us create a lasting peace in Middle-earth.”
“Now and forever,” you added as you watched Galadriel put the Ring back on her finger and her face lit up with a smile.
Your small moment of blissfulness was interrupted by a few Orcs carrying Glûg on the stretchers. His face was wincing out of pain and he seemed to be hurt. Adar left your side immediately and you stood there with Galadriel while you observed.
“What happened?” Adar kneeled down to check on his son.
“We found Sauron, Lord Father,” one of the Orcs explained and you moved uncomfortably at that mention. “We refused to follow him. So, Sauron did this. He has fled from Eregion, they say.”
You exchanged a meaningful look with Lady Galadriel. It was no surprise to you that Sauron had disappeared after such a failure. After all, he was left with no army. His rage, however, had to be great now. And you were sure he would come back sooner than later to collect everything he believed belonged to him.
“We shall be ready when he comes,” Galadriel nodded at you and you nodded back but the worry about Glûg was occupying most of your thoughts now.
“Forgive me, child,” Adar whispered to him as you hurried to their side and kneeled down to take the Orc’s hand and squeeze it in yours.
“It’s too late for me…” Glûg groaned.
“No… No, no, no,” you shook your head and looked up at Galadriel. “Lady Galadriel, please. Can you try to heal him with your Ring?” You pleaded and all the Orcs looked at her as she swallowed thickly.
“I… I can try…” She hesitated and you moved away slightly to make more space for her.
“I will not let you die, my dear,” you promised Glûg as you squeezed his hand tighter.
All the Orcs watched with widened eyes how Lady Galadriel crouched down to put her hand with the beautiful Ring upon it and place it on Glûg’s chest. She closed her eyes and focused as the Ring chimed and you could feel that Glûg’s muscles were beginning to relax.
“It’s working,” one of the Orcs mumbled, surprised.
You watched with relief because they were right and Glûg managed to sit up right after Galadriel retreated with her Ring.
“Galadriel, the Orc-Slayer,” you smiled at her. “You have begun to redeem yourself amongst our kin.”
“Thank you, Lady Mother,” she nodded at you and you nodded back.
“Tell your brothers we are going back to Mordor,” Adar stood up and informed one of the Orcs. “Stop the siege. We have a pact now with the Elves.”
“And what then, Lord Father?” The Orc asked him.
“We will prepare ourselves for when Sauron comes because he will surely come. We will be ready to welcome him in our own land, on our own terms,” Adar answered.
“Will you go with us?” You asked Galadriel and her eyes widened slightly. “We need you there… and your Ring.”
“I must go where I’m needed the most and to defeat Sauron is my only purpose,” she agreed. “However, I am not sure if I am welcome in that place.”
“You are if I say so,” you smirked at her and finally let go of Glûg’s hand when you could feel his blood flowing properly again through his veins and you were sure he would be fine. “I am the Lady of Mordor,” you reminded her.
You were on your way home on the back of your black horse with Adar on the back of his right in front of you and Lady Galadriel still standing by her white mare as Herald Elrond was saying goodbye to her and glancing at you from time to time with a huge amount of distrust.
“We do not hurt our guests in Mordor,” you assured him playfully after a while. “And she will be back with you in one piece soon.”
“Just make sure to answer our calling when we need an Elven army to help us defeat Sauron,” Galadriel took Elrond’s hands into hers and he stopped looking at you to nod at her.
Adar and you exchanged meaningful looks and soft smiles as you led your horse a bit further, so you would stand next to him.
“Are you happy to go back home?” He asked and you nodded.
“More than you can imagine,” you answered and extended your hand towards him as he reached out for you and you squeezed each other’s fingers for a brief while.
You heard Galadriel hopping onto her horse behind you and Adar nodded at the rest of the Orcs, which meant that you all could retreat back to Mordor where you would prepare for Sauron’s comeback with Morgoth’s crown Lady Galadriel with her Ring by your side.
You slowed down your horse to ride next to her now and you both exchanged soft smiles. She had no idea of your history with Sauron – Adar made sure for it to be your secret. However, you had a feeling her soul somehow knew because you could sense a thread of friendship based on a similar experience forming there between you two.
“What will happen to the men from The Southlands, Lady Mother?” She asked you.
“They will be given their homes back. Those who wish to stay in such a dark land at least and the rest are free to go. They will have to learn to share their land with the Uruk now, though,” you answered.
“And what about you? Where will you reside?”
“I was thinking of it,” you looked at her. “I wish to rebuild Ostirith,” you answered. “The fortress might not have been grand but it was my home. I wish to go back there and watch over Mordor from there with my husband like my parents once watched over The Southlands.”
“As King and Queen?” She inquired.
“No,” you shook your head. “That is not my desire. Nor my husband’s.”
Lady Galadriel seemed to be pleased with your answer and you took a deep breath in, looking at the road ahead of you as you felt at peace inside of your heart.
Peace and freedom. You were free of Sauron’s shackles. You no longer had any secrets from your husband or any guilt towards your former lover. Nothing felt better.
You were aware that the war was far from over but you were hopeful about your future and when Adar turned around to make sure you were still there, you smiled at him lovingly, still not being able to believe that he loved you so much to forgive you.
You would make sure to never make him regret that.
AUTHOR’S NOTE 2.0 — Hi, it's me again! 👋🏻 If you are curious, you can read Sauron's ending as well to see the possibility of what could have been only if our Reader made slightly different choices. If you read both endings, you will see that it was mostly small gestures of kindness and compassion that decided her fate. 💓
MASTERLIST
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The Engineer
I catch a glimpse of the pilot as she is wheeled towards the med bay. Her eyes have that telltale glaze of just having been wrenched out of herself.
I've never spoken a single word to her, but for a brief moment as the gurney slides by, those eyes briefly clear, ice blue pinning me to the spot. She raises an emaciated arm and her hand almost seems to beckon to me before something in the gurney clicks and whirs and she slips back into catatonia.
That brief moment of clarity, that piercing gaze, unsettles me. She recognized me.
It's neural bleed. I know it has to be. She doesn't know me, but Morrigan does.
Good god. In the pilot's present state of post combat haze, she probably doesn't even know where she ends and the machine begins.
Does neural bleed work both ways? Is it her head that I'm about to climb into?
My wrist strap buzzes. I have a job to do and I am late.
The pilot is a problem for the med team and the psychs.
The machine is my problem.
I hurry down the corridor, keeping my head down, avoiding the eyes of every passerby.
I don't like people.
I don't like how their eyes follow me. I don't like the whispered gossip that follows me.
One of the techs is waiting for me at the vestibule.
I don't know his name.
All clear, he says to me. Time to work your magic.
He says it without sarcasm. Others have been less kind.
Even so, he can't quite hide the leer as I strip down to the skinsuit. I don't have the physique of a pilot. My body hasn't been subjected to the stresses that ravage their bodies. Unlike them, I have fat and muscle and the skinsuit clings to every curve of my body.
I force a cursory smile and try to forget him as I walk barefoot to my destination.
The vestibule is small, windowless. It's impossible to assess the scale of the machine from here. The only part visible to me is roughly four square meters of pitted and scarred metal plating framing the access hatch and the pilot's cradle beyond.
B0-987T the stenciled lettering reads. And below, in flowing script, is “The Morrigan”.
She's a Javellin class, medium weapons fire support unit. She isn't meant to be on the front lines in a skirmish, but one-on-one, she can hold her own against a Wraith. Which is exactly what happened only a few hours ago.
I place a bare palm on the bulkhead. She thrums with some distant vibration. Her reactor is still online, still in the early stages of drawdown as she transitions to dock power.
“Hey beautiful,” I say to her.
I think of the pilot. I think of piercing blue eyes and I think of neural bleed.
I flinch my hand away.
The tech looks at me, asks if I'm alright. I'm fine, I tell him.
I climb through the hatch and into the cradle.
I feel like an interloper here. The cradle isn't calibrated for my body. Everything still smells like the pilot. Mingled with the smell of the machine is her sweat and her adrenaline and the particular scented soap that she prefers.
There is a faint whirring as her cameras track my movements from a dozen angles. The access ports open to receive me.
Against my better judgment, I imagine eagerness for this exchange.
This is immediately followed by an all too familiar sense of inadequacy. The engineers’ rig is not nearly as all encompassing as a pilots’. It's only the most basic neural interface. No haptics. No neurotransmitter feedback. No access to the suite of sensors studded throughout her hull.
I can't interface with her the way her pilot can.
My rig is a remnant from basic training. The pilot corps wanted me for my exceptional ratings in synchrony and neuro-elasticity, but after serval training exercises, they determined that I didn't have the temperament for the battlefield. I froze up too easily.
A neural rig is a massive investment and removing one will fuck a person up a hell of a lot more than installing one. The selection process is designed to weed out washouts before we even get to installation, but some of us still slip through the cracks. Most end up reassigned to logistics, operating loader mechs or piloting long haul supply frigates. But my aptitudes made me ideal for the engineering corps, so here I am.
Morrigan senses my mood and the cradle shifts slightly, aligning itself to my dimensions. Her eagerness to connect morphs into a sort of tender reassurance. It's a slippery slope, ascribing human emotions to these machines, but she does seem genuinely happy to see me.
I can never be part of what she and her pilot have, but I can be part of something in my own way.
The pilot knows about me, she would even without neural bleed. Does she envy the relationship I have with her mech? Does she envy that I can exist both together and apart with the machine?
Is she jealous of us?
Morrigan slips her jacks into my rig and my mind enters hers and I feel tension leave my body. Some dull ache that I wasn't even consciously aware of ebbs within me.
My senses dull and my visual cortex is fed a series of diagnostic logs and telemetry streams. The techs have access to the exact same data, but Morrigan highlights particular data points that she and the pilot flagged. I log them in the engineering report.
A wireframe schematic of the battlefield spreads out in my awareness. Green markers for our battlegroup. Red markers for the pack of Wraith interlopers.
I hear the ghost of music, strange and ambient, like whale song. The first time I heard it, I asked the techs about it. They had no idea what I was talking about. One even suggested I get an eval for some psych leave.
Later I realized Morrigan was singing to me. Or rather she was interpreting tightbeam comm links as something my brain could process. A human mind can't possibly interpret the full datastream, but with Morrigans's rendition, I can suss out the basic meanings. The battlegroup is a choir and Morrigan is playing me their song.
I caused quite a stir when I first made that connection and started flagging battle events the analysts had missed.
I survey the battlefield before me, reconstructed from feeds from TacCom and all the individual mechs.
Morrigan and I have done this enough times that she knows my preferred display layout, but she holds back, allowing me to pull off the virtual displays on my peripheral vision. There's an odd sort of intimacy to it, her letting me take charge like this.
God-knows how many tons of metal and ceramic and miles and miles of wire and optic fiber and see waits eagerly for me to start the playback sim. She wants to show off. She wants me to assess the actions of her and her pilot and tell them they did well.
Other engineers, few as we are, have mentioned similar experiences with their assigned machines.
“Alright,” I whisper so that only she can hear. “Show me the dance. Sing me the song.”
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I've just got to vent for a quick second, because this has been driving me insane. I work at a place that sells sewing machines and does sewing machine repair, and sometimes people will come in and aggressively complain that their machine is a lemon.
Sorry, to properly convey it, their machine is, "A LEMON!!!"
And I can't respond to that the way I want to when I'm at work, but that's what this rant is for. People seem to think they've found some amazing, special secret word that gets them whatever they want.
But, in the state that I'm in, "lemon" isn't just a concept. When something is a lemon, there's laws governing what people have to do to make things right. In terms of products (not to be confused with terms of produce), there is a legal definition of what a lemon is, and it actually doesn't cover most "this is a lemon!!" situations that I run into.
So, what needs to happen to qualify a sewing machine as a lemon? Disclaimer, I'm not a lawyer, but I've been sued before, and told I look good in a suit, and also I use Duckduckgo to verify things before I write these things. I'm going to go a bit out of order here, because it's an order that makes the most sense to me, so please read all this before writing back to me to tell me I'm stupid.
What problems make something qualify as a lemon?
Is has to be a problem that compromises the use, value, or safety of the machine. If you can't make an argument that your problem interferes with one of those three things, it's not a lemon.
It has to be a problem that is covered under the manufacturer's warranty, and the problem has to show up during the time that the warranty covers the machine. If your warranty was 1 year on this part and the problem showed up at 1.75 years, it's broken and needs fixing, but it's not a lemon.
It cannot be caused by unreasonable or unauthorized use. Sorry, your manufacturer does not consider you sewing sliced ham to a piece of 20 gauge vinyl to be a reasonable use. Putting 2 million stitches on a machine in 6 months is not a reasonable use. Letting your cat use your machine in lieu of a litter box is not reasonable use. Storing trail mix in your bobbin area is not reasonable use.
In addition to these three things, it needs to have repeat attempts to repair it. That's four repairs of the same problem, or two repairs of a problem if it's a problem that can cause death or serious injury. I challenge most people to find a problem that can cause death or serious injury in a modern sewing machine used in a reasonable, authorized way. Anyway, moving on. The item in question also needs to be in for repair for 30 days, though those do not need to be continuous days.
It also doesn't matter how many different problems the machine has. It's got to be the same problem, unable to be fixed, repeatedly, to qualify as a lemon. If you have thirty problems that all have been failed to be fixed 3 times, legally, not a lemon. If you have over 900 problems that have all happened one time, sadly, not a lemon. This is probably one of the things people get wrong most of the time.
If your device fills all of these categories (serious problem, under warranty, no unreasonable use of the machine, repeated attemtps to repair the same problem), then the manufacturer needs to replace it or offer you a refund. Your dealer and your repair shop have no responsibility, except to put you in contact with the manufacturer. Your dealer does not replace your machine. Your dealer does not refund you. Your repair shop does not refund you. The manufacturer is responsible. This doesn't mean that a good dealer won't help you with talking with the manufacturer or even speak to the manufacturer on your behalf. It's just that the dealer is not legally responsible for it. "Legally responsible" and "being helpful because that's good customer service and we want to help you," are distinct concepts.
If your machine is replaced, and you have new problems with the new one, you have to fulfill the lemon requirements again. Four more repair attempts, problem under warranty, no unreasonable use, etc. The fact that the previous item was a lemon doesn't actually matter anymore, legally. That's annoying as hell and massively painful and I'm sorry about that, but it's the fact. If you got a new machine and it immediately had the same problem, I'm sorry, but it has to be failed to be fixed four times on your new machine before you get to proceed with the lemon shit again.
Oh, and the number one reason why sewing machines bought into my work, labeled "lemon!!" by their owners, are not actually legally lemons: in the State of California, lemon laws only apply to cars. I've been carefully saying "machine" instead of "sewing machine," because literally nothing that we've talked about applies to sewing machines at all.
So if you come in and say it's a lemon, because you want to communicate that you're very frustrated by a lot of problems out of the box, we know what you mean. But if you're doing what a lot of these people are doing, which is coming in brandishing the word "lemon," because you're thinly veiling a threat to pursue legal action, sorry, you just don't have a legally-defined lemon.
And also, again, if the lemon laws DID apply to sewing machines, lemon issues are done with the manufacturer, not your dealer or your repair shop. We're going to do everything we can to help you, because we're above all in the customer service business, but you don't need to try to threaten us with laws that don't apply.
#today at work#look it's not good for anyone if you get a machien that's all fucked up#not to look the ep-shit 3 in the face or something#but we can do without the non-researched threats of legal action#we're very willing to document the problem and send it on to the manufacturer and tell them that they have to replace it#but you're getting your problem fixed by the manufacturer#also if you've had it for 4 years and it was 70 million stitiches on it then holy shit it's not a lemon karen#don't threaten us with the law if the law is what's protecting us from your threat#what the hell is wrong with people
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Fresh Start - Supergirl x Male Reader
Note: Fluff/Wholesome 🥰
Coming from an Earth where it had been put into an almost, hell-like experience due to the many conflicts and battles that had took place within what was a beauty of life, now nothing but rubble and chaos incarnate, cities in dust and fires that seemed to never snuff out.
There was once a civil war that broke out between good alike, turning into a huge war over a disagreement in the way encounters should be dealt with, how criminals should be facing justice instead of being executed without parole, without proper justification.
Casualties were amount the millions-to-billions in this eternal conflict, a war that had lasted for a long time, many good and bad men and women died in this war alone, many innocents killed and caught within the crossfire.
Cities laid in rubble and dust throughout the entire Earth, some still stood but they weren't the same as they were before.
Y/N dreamed for a fresh start of some sort, his childhood ruined due to this eternal conflict which led to his growing abilities to shape matter into reality, shape weapons of any kind, able to weave matter as much as he wanted.
The war between former allies had raged on for years to come, even still when he was growing up, it still continued... At least up until the day of his sacrifice that is.
Having lost many of his family as he grew up due to the ongoing war, Y/N opted to stay behind and manually detonate a superweapon that was developed by the enemy, a weapon that would've wiped the rest of humanity out if it were to be deployed, a weapon of mass destruction that could potentially crack the Earth in half if used again in that case.
No one could believe that Lord Superwoman would ever go to that extreme to end the war that quick after many years, even with her powers dimming down due to the long exposure to Gold Kryptonite that her enemies had been using against her and those who were infused with Kryptonian blood cells to further make her army of followers powerful, she would risk wiping out the rest of humanity if it meant to win the war, it was always about wiping out the weak where the strong will thrive. If only her brother were to see what she was doing those days after he was killed, murdered.
Most of her followers, both are and without Kryptonian powers, had deemed it madness and decided to flee, before it caught the wind of the Resistance, leading to Y/N's noble sacrifice.
It all would've went quietly but Lord Superwoman was eager to prevent him from destroying her weapon of mass-destruction, all the blast doors had been sealed shut, keeping her inside with him alone until the detonation count goes to zero.
It was a tough and rough fight, Y/N sustaining many major injuries but he kept going, pushing himself past his limit, wanting to avenge all the people Lord Superwoman had killed in her efforts.
It was a far stretch, but Y/N managed to put up more of a fight, just until the detonation went off, taking her out with him, ending the war...
But that wasn't the last of Y/N... Unbeknownst to the Resistance, the detonation started a chain reaction which combined with many other unfinished projects regarding space travel and dimensional gateways created through machinations, it triggered a portal to be open, Lord Superwoman was closer to the explosion than Y/N was, which the dimensional gateway that opened had pulled Y/N in quick enough for him to escape through as he laid there, bleeding out with a smirk on his face, body sustaining many wounds.
The dimensional portal surprisingly saved him, taking him through an entire loop through space-time itself, before he eventually passed out from his wounds as his body travelled through the rift...
Eventually...
He arrived to an Earth quite similar to his, but not plunged in war and with some massive differences.
The rift had appeared on many radars across the States, one specific radar within the Hall of Justice itself. The rift had opened and spat out many debre and Y/N's dying body onto the Earth, within a city called National City, the city that a certain blonde, wavy haired female Kryptonian who wears a red cape and symbol much like a certain Man of Steel who was still alive in this reality, protected as the city's sole protector going by the name; Supergirl.
It was her who arrived to the scene first, investigating what she had picked up with her super hearing, eventually having flown over to the destination where she first heard the big boom, which had caused minor disruption throughout National City.
"It's like a... Battle happened here" Supergirl noted loudly with her cape fluttering behind her softly, scouting out the place as she stayed afloat from the ground, eying up metal-like-debre that was spreaded across the destination nearby the city itself.
She wasn't expecting to find anyone within the debre, she only investigated due to the loud disruption she heard while she was out doing her normal things, gaining a call from her cousin since she was the closest to the disturbance, saying he'll be there with some Leaguers to assist if necessary.
The noise was a job for Supergirl to investigate after all, it could be dangerous, and eventually... She found something, or someone in that regard.
Her super hearing picked up a faint heartbeat, faint as in the person was dying, deeming her to quickly rush over to find an unconscious and dying male, with many injuries left upon him like he had fighting in hell in her eyes.
Supergirl wasted no time carefully picking up the male and immediately called her cousin whilst carrying the male, detailing she found someone who was in critical condition and was bringing him to a nearby hospital...
But Clark stopped her and told her to bring the male back to the Hall of Justice for treatment instead. As odd as it may sounded, Kara decided not to question her cousin. Clark did mention it was a dimensional rift that had been detected on the radar, whoever this young male was, they needed to know if he was friend or foe, a hospital would be a bad idea to hold a stranger who popped out from a rift after all.
Soon enough, she brought the male back and it wasn't long enough until he awoke, with most of his wounds healed due to some magic being used on him to heal most of the damage done to his body.
His eyes shot open seeing some unfamiliar faces and shot right up in a panic, thinking he was being experimented on until a shadowy figure stepped in and it calmed down the young male almost immediately, with his eyes widening further.
"Impossible" he muttered, looking up and down a man wearing a cape and cowl colored in black. "Bruce?" he looked like he seen a ghost, causing the Caped-Crusader to frown judgmentally at the name the young man called him by.
"Wait... Did he just call you by your identity, Bats?" Hal Jordan looked toward the World's Greatest Detective.
"That's impossible, you should be..." he then looked at Hal Jordan. "You also should be..." his eyes turn to some more familiar faces, some he hadn't seen since he was a kid, some he seen that survived and died during the war on his Earth. "Am I in... Heaven? Or is this some cruel experiment?" he questioned to himself, ignoring everyone else in the room.
"I don't see why this would be a 'cruel experiment', whoever you are" an optimistic voice spoke to the young male, one face he once looked up to when he was a kid, and heartbroken the day that this one man had been murdered. "And... I don't know what type of heaven this would be, you're in the living world".
"Superman?" the young male said with a shocked expression before it disappeared. "I-I-I don't understand, you were killed. Murdered by Lillian Luthor, before Superwoman-"
"Wait, wait, wait... Murdered?" The Flash, Barry Allen, questioned. "He's standing right here, like right now".
"He's from another dimension" Batman quickly interjected after a quick observation of the young man's body language.
"And how do you know that?" Hal questioned.
"Isn't it obvious, Hal?" Barry zipped to Hal's left. "He's Batman".
"I also had the same feeling" Superman stated.
The young man observed his surroundings, his eyes spotting the magician, Zatanna and a few others like Blue Beetle aka Ted Kord before he began to feel something off within himself.
"Wait... Why can't I sense my energy?" the young man said to himself, grabbing everyone's attention. "Did any of you take my powers?!" he said with a tone that demanded an answer.
"You have abilities?" Ted Kord asked with an intriguing tone. "Nothing appeared on the scanners after Supergirl brought you in".
Y/N painfully laid down on the bed he was laying down upon since waking up from it, a small grunt escaping his throat as he looked confused but terrified of the reality that he was now thinking.
"You're saying... My powers are gone?" he said with a disheartened tone, realizing his healing factor wasn't working either, which already answers his question...
"The scanners we have installed would've detected if you had any or not" Batman approached the young man. "I... We... Want some answers... Who are-".
"I think we should let the kid rest for now, Bru-Batman" Superman subjected, placing a strong hand on the Caped-Crusader's shoulder. "Questions can come later, don't you think? He's not a threat from what I can see" the Man of Steel remained optimistic as ever in a situation like this.
"It's fine... Bruce can ask me" the young man tried sitting up but failed as he seethed in wrenching pain. "Argh! Dammit!".
"Woah, easy there, kiddo. I wasn't exactly done healing your wounds before you rudely awoke without warning" Zatanna's hands were open to him, easing to calm him further with her soft voice.
"Like I said, you should probably rest, son" Superman suggested. "The questions can come later, uh-".
"It's Y/N... Y/N Bridger" the young man gave out his name to everyone.
"Y/N. Yes, like I mentioned, the questions can come later. Zatanna can continue to heal your injuries" Superman continued, as the name suggested he had heard something similar before.
"Hey, do I know you from somewhere? You remind me of Giovanni Zatara, the Magician. The name sounds very canny" the young male asked the superhero magician.
Zatanna smiled in response. "Giovanni is my father, I'm Zatanna, but you can call me Zee" she answered with a soft-spoken voice. "I'd advise you lay down for now, don't try sitting up, let the rest of my magic do its work to heal you" she told him.
"Oh he was a good man, fought to the end he did" he mumbled which alarmed Zee and the others around him. "I gotta ask, who saved me again? As much as I would love to chat with some legends here, I'd like to know who it was who saved me, again. I swear is it just me or did I hear that man in the blue spandex with an... Odd looking beetle say that Superwoman saved me, right? We uh... Well" he changed the subject. "Or was it... Supergirl if I heard that correctly?"
Before his question would be answered, a blonde haired woman, donning the same symbol as Superman, even the same colors on her suit, had walked in with her cape billowing behind her as she strutted on in.
"Speaking of the devil" Superman smiled towards his cousin.
"Heard my name being called, what's the catch?" Supergirl asked before the Flash scooted out of the way, standing in her view to see the young man she saved from the brink of death, awake. "Oh, he's awake" she gasped before a little smile crept at the corner of her mouth. "I was wondering why I was hearing a new voice".
Y/N couldn't even keep his eyes off her as soon as she was in view, out of everyone else in the room, she stood out the most in his eyes. "Uh... Hi" he slightly waved at the Girl of Steel. He eyed her up and down, taking note of her choice of fashion when it came to her suit, sky blue top with a thump hole in each sleeve and her custom-made S shield on her top, a red cape much like her cousins, only yellow outlined with her custom-made S shield, red high boots, red skirt with the golden V-shaped belt was something he never even thought someone would wear for a costume, but her overall beauty is what attracted him to her.
"Hi" she waved back sheepishly with a smile on her face.
"Y/N here was just asking who had brought him here, and now that you're here? I think he knows who did" Superman answered Supergirl's question earlier.
"Oh, right" Supergirl then answered, before looking at the boy. "That was me" She lightly chuckled. She had to admit that the boy did look handsome, especially with the little scar on his face. She swore she wouldn't catch feelings from just looking at some young man, as she learnt her lesson last time when it did happen. "It's good to meet you, Y/N".
But she couldn't help herself... Much.
"It's good to meet you too! But I just wanted to say... Thank you, there's a lot for me to explain but... Yeah... Thank you, Supergirl" he sent his gratitude toward the Girl of Steel, resulting with a little faint of pink flush across her cheeks. "I... I don't know how I ended up here, but... I think I remember what happened that's now brought me here as much is my head is still foggy. I can explain as much as I can in a short time, if any of you don't mind?".
"I suppose some information wouldn't hurt"...
This however wouldn't be the last time he'd ever see the Girl of Steel, or any of the Justice League for that matter. Upon recovering slowly at the Hall of Justice, answering questions that needed to be answered and gaining trust from other Leaguers, he spent most quality time recovering while Supergirl would regularly visit him every so often.
Y/N wasn't expecting it at all for her to visit him if she could, it was a welcomed surprise to have some company and someone to chat to about anything, even sharing her name with him almost immediately showed how much she already trusted him.
While Batman found it a little alarming for her to be trusting someone that quick without much known about him, Superman however found it rather pleasing to see Kara be this interested in him, he was happy to see how much she wanted to give him company, thinking he needed some since he was alone mostly during his recovery stage, it was a nice gesture, something he would've done if no one else stepped in.
It was quite obvious that Supergirl had a liking to him, her cousin knew, her friends knew, even her adoptive parents knew something about their daughter having some feelings for a young man once again.
No more than two weeks later that Y/N had recovered mostly, but he was saddened by the fact his powers were gone, he hoped they'd come back to him one day but he doubted it after some comforting words.
The League offered to help Y/N get accustomed to his newer surroundings after he was cleared and was trusted to leave, which was when Supergirl thought of an idea on helping him with his newer surroundings, which was a nice gesture for her to even think of.
Superman approved of the idea, even brought up the idea of Y/N having his own apartment paid for him where he could stay for now until he can figure out what he wants to do in his newer life, as Y/N admitted he didn't want to go back to his Earth, he wanted to stay here, try to live a normal and quiet life.
He often thought of a fresh start, but this? It felt rewarding in a way, it felt so much closer to the Earth he knew as a child, not the war-torn Earth he knew after his own Superman died, then all hell broke loose after that.
Kara opted to help him settle into National City, using her secret identity - - Kara Danvers - - as a way to help him navigate through the public without drawing much attention to himself when he hangs out with Supergirl, this city's own sole protector.
What was clear enough was that Kara wasn't too great at trying to keep her little feelings for him, hidden around others, there was times she'd talk about him freely around her friend; Barbara Gordon, formally Batgirl, now Oracle. Babs had a feeling Kara would fall head over heels for yet another boy, she only hoped that this boy wouldn't use her like the last one did.
Her cousin had already known, he could see it clear as day.
Another week turned into a month... And Y/N had his idea of being settled into his newer surroundings, he was happy to have some company help him, navigate him through most things he never got to see as a child, meet new people and get in on some action when necessary, though he was risking his life in doing so.
Kara did scold him once for it but couldn't stay angry at him for that much longer, he was a hero himself, with or without his powers, she felt bad but Y/N made it clear she didn't need to feel bad about scolding him. He was just doing what heroes do, help people and one another...
"I gotta say..." the boy's words hanged in the air as the wind intensified slightly, feeling himself in the air. "The view from here is beautiful" his arm tightened around Kara's waist as they together, soared through the sky thanks to Supergirl's efforts.
The Maid of Might softly laughs at his choice of words. He had seen the view from where she flew plenty of times already, the first time she ever shown him this view was, in his words, "breathtaking", and still he finds it just that.
"We can go higher like last time, above the clouds. Up, Up and Away" she offered.
"Y'know what? Go for it!" he said with optimism, sounding like a good offer in his mind.
The girl smiled while looking up, putting her fist up in front of her as she began to soar upwards, higher above the city than they were before, Y/N wrapped his other arm around her waist as they went up.
A playful giggle escaped from Kara as her cape flowed behind her more, along with her skirt and golden locks.
It didn't take long until Y/N found himself high above the clouds, now looking at his surroundings before his eyes fell onto Kara's, taking in the angelic view he could see right in front of him and around him.
The sky was dancing with colors, dancing with pink, orange and blue altogether as the two were high above the clouds, alone together, with no one to see or interrupt them at all. The only sound being heard was the breeze of the wind and Kara's cape fluttering within it.
Kara smiled as she looked into his eyes, trying to look for something, thinking she saw something in his eyes before she ultimately decided to take him on a flight yet again.
"Y'know? I always imagined I'd get a fresh start one day, after the war on my Earth was over... But this?" he pauses for a moment to take in the view in front of him, making sure to look into Kara's eyes more deeply. "This I wasn't expecting to be my fresh start... Starting with meeting and getting to know... You".
Kara's eyes gleamed with joy as she smiled quite happily, she really wanted to tell him how much she liked him but didn't know how to, so she just kept her cool for now until what he had to say was over.
"I mean... You saved me from the brink of death like... Almost two months ago, I don't know how many times I've said thank you but... I suppose saying thank you again wouldn't hurt, would it?" he asked.
"I suppose, but honestly, you didn't need to say it more than once. I know how grateful you are" she nodded, keeping her smile up. "I'm glad we met, I'm glad to hang out with you too... Yeah" Kara burst into a big smile with her cheeks flushing a little pink that bloomed.
"Me too, Supes..." he said, lowering his voice to that of a little, calm whisper. "Me too" he repeated, while unknown to his own mind, he had slightly drawn his face a little closer to hers whilst looking into her sky blue pearls within her eyes.
The Maid of Might soon took notice of his unbeknownst action of his face drawing a little closer to hers, her eyes widened a little slightly before setting back to a calmer expression, drawing her face closer to his.
There was a point where the both stopped for a moment as Kara's hand softly caressed the young man's cheek, right where his little "cute" scar was, she always thought scars looked a little cool but when it came to Y/N? She found it cute that he had a few, though one of his scars is one he hates to be reminded of, a reminder of loss, she best avoids touching it as she doesn't want to bring horrible memories back up to him.
"What's stopping you?" Y/N then broke the silence with a soft whisper, knowing well that she wanted this more than he did, he had a feeling all along that Kara's motives around him were an act of liking him more than a friend, at least the one time she slipped and made it obvious that she was crushing on him last week when she cuddled into him, using her cape as a backup blanket for the both of them.
Kara treated him with so much kindness and protected him for almost two months now, it was no wonder as to why he was so attracted to her also, unlike her? He was good at keeping it unknown...
Until now that is.
"Nothing..." She cooed with a smile creeping across the corners of her lips. "Just admiring the view" she continued before blinking slowly.
Eventually, not even a minute goes by, she gave in and gently pressed her lips on his, feeling the need for his lips on hers, soon closing her eyes as she feels Y/N give into her soft lips on his, pushing deeply into hers gently also.
She had a feeling he's done this before, but it didn't matter to her right now, she only wanted to feel this feeling with him.
Her left hand rested on his shoulder while her other still caressed his cheek, still feeling his arms wrapped around her as they stayed afloat high above the clouds, the wind blowing any pieces of fabric like her skirt and cape, fluttering behind her.
Her golden locks flowed like a golden cape along with her skirt and cape, as if the wind knew it was the right moment to make her look angelic.
A minute passes by and with a soft smack of lips separating, Kara rests her forehead on Y/N's, wearing a golden smile.
"I suppose my fresh start is gonna be more rewarding than I thought. Who would've thought, huh?" Y/N noted playfully, making Supergirl lightly giggle at his choice of words.
"Who would've?" she played along before the two laughed softly at each other. "Care to go again?" she asked to kiss again with a little smirk on her face, wanting to feel his lips once more with his permission.
"I think you already know the answer to that"...
______________________________________________________________
Fin...
Word Count: 3971
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#supergirl#kara zor el#dc comics#dc supergirl#supergirl x male reader#male reader#supergirl x reader#superhero x reader#kryptonian#female x male reader#prime earth#supergirl fanfiction#supergirl fandom#kara zor el imagine#kara zor el x male reader#dc fluff#dc universe#dc heroines#dc comic#gxb#male reader imagine#male reader insert#x male reader#male reader fanfic#kara danvers x you#kara danvers#kara danvers x male reader
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Fixing Unity's Animation System
Idk if there's a big game dev community on tumblr or not, but I want to talk about this, so I'm gonna lol
The problem with Unity's animation system becomes obvious as soon as you try to do anything more complicated than "idle, walk, run, jump". Trying to add attacks or more complicated form of transitions becomes absolute hell. And no small part of this I attribute to the fact that it's a state machine.
(I think state machines are shoe-horned into game development anyhow, but that's a topic for another post)
So, I went out to create a new system that better fit my needs. I managed to categorize nearly all of my animations into three separate groups: cross fades, snaps, and cinematics.
Cross fades are animations that play continuously under some kind of condition, like idling, walking, running, falling, swimming, etc. etc. The important part of cross fades is that they don't have a predetermined end (ie. they're meant to seamlessly loop).
Snap animations are animations that do have a predetermined end, like attacks, dodges, emotes, etc.
Cinematics are, well, cinematics. I was mainly thinking cut scenes, but there's probably other uses for them as well.
And what about animations that don't fit perfectly into one of these groups? Well, I added support for specialized behaviors as well. I'm not certain exactly what these would do, but I made an abstract class these scripts can derive from with an `ExecuteSpecializedBehavior()` function to be called. (I think it's better to build in support for these kinds of things right now, even if I can't see a use for them.) this also isn't, like, an asset. I'll provide the scripts, but I'm not, like, claiming to own the code or the process or anything like that lol (or offering support for bugs). feel free to use/modify it however you want.
(This got waaaay longer than I intended it to, so I'm going to put the rest under a keep reading)
This `ChangeAnimation()` function is at the core of the entire system:
I had originally wrote out exactly what each of the variables not defined in the function did, but I think it'd be easier to just share them in a photo
Some things to note: It'd be possible to get rid of 'defaultClip' with something like 'animations[0]', but I didn't want to force myself to remember that the first thing in the list needed to be the default animation (as well, it prevents things from getting messed up if the order of the list somehow changes).
'AnimationName' and 'TransitionType' (which I've renamed to 'AnimationType' in the script, I'm just too lazy to retake the screenshot. I'll refer to it here as 'TransitionType' for clarity) are (clearly, probably) enums. I realize that an enum isn't the best type for 'AnimationName', but I felt that the ease of writing 'AnimationName.Idle' in a script was worth the extra effort of adding each animation to the enum.
I partially blame this on Unity, as there is (as far as I know), no way to play an animation via script except with it's name (which is a string, ofc). I thought of several ways I could've implement this, including consts or a static class, but I felt like an enum had the fewest downsides relative to its upsides (consts would require a reference to a class, and a static class would've been more annoying to implement inside the `AnimationWrapper` class)
I could've coded something that would've handled it better, but this seemed like the easiest way that's also fairly robust and is supported by default inside Unity.
'OnSnapAnimationEnd' is called via Unity's built-in animation event system. I tried really hard to make it so I didn't have to use it because I find it absolutely awful (supplying an function name by a string?!). But, unfortunately, Unity's way of adding them by via code is broken (because of course it is), so the workaround I came up with was to create one function that is called via the event which invokes another event that is far easier to subscribe to. (Plus, some extra functionality for the snap animations, which I covered above.)
The 'AnimationWrapper' class supplies both information about the animation (the actual clip, it's AnimationName, and its TransitionType), clip functionality (cross fade times and offsets), as well as a field to supply custom behaviors.
I don't know why it's low res, but oh well
And that's most of it. There are two extra functions ('OverrideCurrentAnimationSnap' and 'OverrideCurrentAnimationCrossfade') that I didn't supply photos of, but that's because I feel like just mentioning them clearly conveys their purpose. I plan on adding one for cinematics, as well, but since that part of the system isn't finished, I didn't see a purpose in adding it.
Normally I don't share my code because I don't feel like I've done anything innovative, but with this, I think it's good. It's not the most robust of animation systems, but it supports my needs and - imao - is so. much. easier. to use than Unity's built-in system.
Letting each script handle calling the animations they need is so much easier than getting a reference to the animator, getting a reference to a parameter, setting it up inside the script, setting it up inside the animation editor, defining all the transition, etc. etc.'Letting each script handle calling the animations they need is so much easier than getting a reference to the animator, getting a reference to a parameter, setting it up inside the script, setting it up inside the animation editor, defining all the transition, etc. etc.
Anyhow, even if this is just me shouting into the void, it made me happy to talk about it, so /shrug
Link to script
#ceris rambles#programming#game dev#game development#seriously tho#Unity#Unity3D#indie dev#state machines are so. overused#if your state machine could be replaced with a some private bools#it is /not/ a good use of a state machine!#Seriously! Just stop! They require so. much. boiler plate#and more often than not#they make coding /more/ difficult rather than less!#/rant
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A quick little thing set off by all the dancing going around that got away from me. Lt Roberts absolutely loves to dance. It's one of those few times that he's able to let loose and blow off some energy, and one of the few times he can acceptably be physically close to people. In earlier days, before many of the promotions and before his dreaded reputation had fully set in, he'd loved going for a spin on the deck on a festive evening. This had largely tapered off over the years.
I'm not sure under what circumstances Nite rediscovered this skill, but the morning after was one of the few in which Roberts woke up still exhausted, but for once feeling better.
#roberts/nite#my art#happy self-indulgent sunday#the name switch feels so weird#but i'll get used to it i'm sure#nowadays anyone who doesn't think he's too unpleasant would still not take him up on the offer#for fear of being thrown into the dawn machine for stepping on his foot#which wouldn't actually happen#being clumsy is hardly a crime#but that ship has long sailed and good luck convincing someone otherwise#i'm so glad that#freddie i blame you#is already a tag i have#because ain't that just a general state of being#roberts
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This one too
#the flying feels pretty good but i think i can get it even better#if i could only figure out how to use the state machine#project return
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apologies for the inactivity, i've lost a lot of my passion for drawing recently. been doing a lot of costume-making over at @sorchafluff but not much else.
feel free to send art requests in the meantime, no guarantee i'll do them but there's a chance
#txt#currently putting all my creative energy into a sorcha fullsuit . and learning how to use a sewing machine#also been agonizing over a lot of little medical stuff which sucks the life out of me. sighs#just found out the only 'good' top surgeons in my state don't take insurance so i'm gonna try to do plushie comms to save up extra $ maybe?#i make good money as is but i'm desperate to get this surgery asap so i'm gonna try everything i can hwghh
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what happened to boreas during the events of saint's campaign? I'd have figured because of his self sustaining properties, he'd be one of the last iterators actually functional before saint inevitably bababooeys him
-snaps fingers n fingerguns atcha- you got That right, buckaroo! Boreas indeed is still kicking just fine when Saint enters the Aeolus Root ring, especially if you ignore his mental state consisting of crushing loneliness and nasty ass giant case of guilt. i told Shkiki this- i geniunely think he'd only die if a lot of ice would block his water filtration systems. he's like a damn cucaracha
(see, Beebee is stationed very high up north n i think he's close enough to the sea that he uses That as his water supply. he runs Very cold, much more so than a normal Iterator- this is mostly the case cuz i wanna give the greek god Boreas shout out with it, but in-universe can be blamed on his sheer massive size. he needs to keep himself as cold as possible. can't exactly cool his systems with solid ice tho and so this person who doesn't like/can't handle other people Needs these other people that warm up the atmosphere n keep the polar caps at bay. so honestly even tho he's fine n dandy when Saint finds him, he was already living on borrowed time)
Saint has a bossfight with Boreas just like with Sliver except Boreas is.. kinda more sturdy n also more aggressive n has a bigger chamber- he's like Sliver+, that girl was a weasel. hard mode Sliver.
it takes a bit, but eventually Boreas' puppet falls and the antigravity stutters to a stop. i imagine that working iterators that put up a fight need multiple blasts before they completely die because each blast is killing only a portion of the Hivemind, then the rest of it rushes to fill in the holes, that gets blasted and the process is repeated until there's no more of the collective left. so you can imagine what kind of state B is prolly in after like 9 direct blasts
torn apart, exhausted and so much more smaller n lonelier than before, Boreas finally stops fighting and instead huddles in a corner. for once absolutely terrified out of his mind n insterestingly enough- regretful. he tries to send out a warning signal to the rest of the group, but he can't manage it with how diminished he's become. Saint approaches. Boreas doesn't plead for mercy. he stares the rat down even when its eyes wildly flash
Saint finishes him off. Leaves. Notos watched the whole thing
to say that Notos is fuckin Traumatized from that is an understatement. its special overseer stays with Boreas' puppet beeping at it for an hour, waiting for him to wake up. but of course, nothing
now, i'll add- Beebee n Notty didn't ever really Fully Click together. either they didn't interact much because of their "i gotta work, man" mentalities, they were shit at interaction or they barked at each other (even in mythology it says that fights between Boreas and Notos were catastrophic and absolutely terrifying- fun fact! Notos actually seems more dangerous than Boreas from what i've read n this Is meant to be reflected with the Anemoi Iterators too). like i've had the idea that when Notos calls for an elder brother n Boreas n Euros look up, it'd specify "the elder brother that I actually appreciate" when needin Euros
either way, these two were still siblings and Boreas *did* Mentor Notos when it needed it (along with Euros; the Winds r kinda like a lil self-sustaining group within the bigger group- they are "Elite"/Leading Iterators of The Children of Eo after all) n they still like... Loved each other. even when Notos cut the communications with him after everything started going down the drain, it still loved him. n it regrets some things it said to him (thoughtless.. cruel things...) but cuz of the way it is as a person it never decided to step up n be the one to reestablish contact and apologize
and now Boreas is dead. one of the first iterators of the group gone, maybe the third. it can never say now, how it is so sorry and never meant it
#Spot says stuff#rw#oc tag#Notos' relationship with saint is a strange n complicated one. nobody traumatized notos like saint. saint is its friend. saint will kill-#-it one day. saint killed all of its family. Notos is the one who guided the death to them. saint is the salvation they need. saint is the-#-final doom. its family isnt moving anymore. it did the right thing. it's so terribly lonely and scared. saint hugs it in comfort.#No One Else couldve pulled through All That the whole way. only Notos who is painfully used to what it means to do a horrible thing for-#-the greater good. yet it doesnt mean these things dont torment it. it can state that it is a machine however much it wants. at the end of-#-the day Biting Notos is a Gen 3 technoorganic Iterator. at the end of the day it's still a little sister to over a hundred other Iterators#well this turned into Notos thoughts party my bad GJDSCKMMKLS hard to talk bout just one of em im doin my best to interconnect em as much-#-as i can. i Might make a comic for Boreas' fight at some point too but rn theres other things i wanna do n also just. need a bit of break
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God I fucking CALLED IT the other day I woke up and realized “oh I think I dreamed about M last night, her parents must be thinking of having a date night and asking me to babysit” and then this evening I got the text asking if I could watch her Saturday evening
#this is a consistent series of events I have never dreamed of her and not heard from her parents soon after#but then this is also the child who had just learned how to speak and asked me if I remembered when I used to be her mommy so there’s that#again I’m not saying I’m psychic#but sometimes I be knowin stuff#and my dreams have a tendency to be slightly prophetic though in uninteresting ways#which is why I’m so earnestly trying to figure out what that stray kitten dream might portend because I don’t usually dream about animals#except for the time I dreamt about two dogs that looked like the two dogs we ended up adopting#so if I had a dream about a stray kitten showing up and our cat loving it and taking care of it….#I’m kind of expecting to see a teeny tiny fluffy grey kitten in the near future#I figured out the car trouble dream where I was worried about a sewing machine from a couple weeks ago…#I drove across state lines to buy an antique sewing machine and then that night my thermo control valve shit the bed#you see what I mean by vaguely prophetic in uninteresting ways#and useless at that#except in the case of clearing my schedule for babysitting#they’re good for that#psychic stuff
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— DECEPTION (X – SAURON)
DECEPTION MASTERLIST ALTERNATIVE ENDING (ADAR)
PAIRING — Sauron x fem!Elf!Reader // Adar x fem!Elf!Reader
SUMMARY — You already made your decision to remain by Adar's side but your former lover has different plans.
AUTHOR’S NOTE — First of all, thank you so much for your comments under every part and your support because this fic (and this fandom) was what brought back my joy for writing! 😊 I am aware most of you wants to see The Reader from this fic with Adar but I still wanted to let you make a choice and I had an idea for this storyline either way, so... 🤷🏻♀️ The very cold line Some are born for sacrifice is taken from another fantasy TV show – The Shannara Chronicles. 😅 I loved while watching the show and I remembered about it while writing this story. I think it suits. 🤐 This part is more canon-like than the alternative ending where The Reader chooses Adar tbh.
WARNINGS — forced/arranged marriage, Reader is NOT a good person – she is proud, greedy, fake and corrupted by Sauron, "love" triangle situationship, YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS 💀
WORD COUNT — 4,930
ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.
DECEPTION (X – SAURON)
You spent the rest of the day and half of the night inside the forest, in your new favourite place, feeling uneasy. Alone, just in case Sauron wanted to reach out to you again. But he was not making such attempts and it was making you anxious more than ever. His wrath was something you did not want to experience yourself and you knew very well that you had earned it.
Nervously fidgeting with the wedding band around your finger, you were sitting there by the fallen tree and listening to the sounds of the battle taking place nearby. Once more, you felt like sneaking back into the camp, stealing your own horse and running away to some place where no one knew you. But you knew you could not. You had to face the consequences of your actions.
Eventually, you took a deep breath in and decided to find Adar. You needed him close to feel safe and secure again because your anxiety was growing bigger and bigger with each given moment.
You found him near your shared tent, surrounded by the Orcs, small fires to light the path and all the war machines that made you realise how truly close you were to the battle indeed and how serious the situation was.
As you were approaching Adar from one side, you spotted Glûg walking up to him from the opposite one, with some of his friends standing behind as if they were waiting for him to speak to their Lord Father in the name of them all.
“Lord Father,” Glûg started just when you stood next to your husband and wrapped your trembling hands around his arm, happy that he was still there; that Sauron’s rage had not taken him away from you just yet. “The wall is stronger than we thought,” Glûg continued with his head slightly bowed down. “We may not breach it before morning. The Elf is faring better than you expected,” he added. “His troops have already destroyed five of our trebuchets. Many Uruk are dying,” he emphasised, his voice filled with pain and fear. “What are your orders, Lord Father? Shall we sound retreat?”
“No,” Adar’s answer was quick, nearly harsh. It caused a shiver to go down your spine as you watched with interest the conversation between him and his son. “Sauron must not escape,” Adar stated and turned around in your direction, putting his arm around your back to walk you inside the tent. “Bring down that wall. At any cost,” he added.
“Adar!” Glûg exclaimed and you exchanged a meaningful look with your husband. There was desperation but also a hint of disappointment mixed with anger in the Orc’s voice. You both froze and turned around to face him once more. “You told us… You loved us,” Glûg reminded his father in the Black Speech and your heart clenched inside your chest at his words that you could understand perfectly well now.
“With all that is left of my heart,” Adar answered with pain but also determination in his voice. Too much to let you become Sauron’s slaves.”
There was no answer from Glûg or any of the Orcs, so Adar left your side and went inside the tent. You hesitated at the sight of their faces, though. Their expressions did not mean anything good but you had no idea how you could fix it.
Either way, it was an argument between the Orcs and their Lord Father. You were not a side in this conflict. Therefore, you turned around and followed your husband inside the tent.
When you looked around, you spotted that he was angry and crouching down next to a few dead bodies of the Orcs. Lady Galadriel was not around.
“She’s still in the camp. Find her!” He barked at a few Orcs coming inside after you and they nodded before running out.
“What happened?” You asked.
“She escaped,” Adar stood up and showed you a small Elven key Galadriel had to use to get out of her shackles. Suddenly, you realised what Herald Elrond had done while kissing her. He had managed to distract everyone from the fact he had handed her his brooch with a hidden item inside.
“Smart,” you admitted and tilted your head but Adar was not impressed.
“You were supposed to watch over her,” he reminded you, harshly.
“Me?” You were surprised at his words. “I know that you are nervous because the battle is not going the way you planned and I agree with Glûg that we should retreat and go back home but that is no reason for you to take it out on me,” you drawled out through your gritted teeth.
Adar did not say anything to that as he gave you a scolding look and left the tent in a hurry, leaving you speechless. However, not even a minute passed and he was back.
“Forgive me,” he said and extended his hand towards yours. “I might die today and I do not want to leave this world knowing that the very last thing we did was to argue,” he admitted and you sighed, approaching him.
You ignored his extended hand because you threw your arms around his neck instead and you hugged him tight before taking a small step back and cupping his face in your hands.
“Do not say such things, please,” you pleaded and cracked a nervous smile before joining your lips together to kiss him softly before you eventually let him go to join his children.
The battle was getting worse and more ferocious but you remained inside your tent, nervously patting the surface of the wooden table with your fingers. Then, suddenly, angry Glûg entered the tent without even announcing himself. You turned around, surprised and raised an eyebrow at him.
“My Lady,” he bowed his head very slightly, nearly lazily, which was quite uncommon for him.
“What is it, dear?” You tried to be more lighthearted.
“I come to you because Adar remains deaf to my pleas,” Glûg sighed, still standing near the entrance of the tent as if he was scared of approaching you.
“What pleas, Glûg? He will not agree to go back home. Believe me, I’ve tried,” you rolled your eyes slightly and Glûg squinted his small eyes at you.
“That I know, my Lady,” he nodded. “He has just ordered to send the troll in.”
“And what about it?” You inquired. “Have we not brought that filthy creature here to use him in battle?”
“He is killing our own kind!” Glûg tried to protest and you pursed your lips after realising how delicate the situation was indeed.
“I understand,” you nodded and stood up finally to approach him. “However, you must trust your Lord Father’s orders. Some battles require smaller losses to win the big thing in the end. I have lost a lot myself. I have lost things you have no idea of, Glûg,” you only said and he growled but then he looked down at your scolding expression. “We all have a part to play,” you added. “Some are born for sacrifice.”
Glûg looked up at your face as if he was scared of you. Perhaps he was but you were not given more time with him because he left the tent in a hurry. You sighed and went back on the chair. Everything was a mess and you just wanted the battle to be over. The worst thing was the uncertainty.
When the dawn came, you could no longer stay in one place. You left the tent and went deeper into the forest to hide between the tall trees. But instead of going straight to your favourite place, you took a small detour, trying to calm down your pounding heart and your shaky breath.
Your mind was plagued with all the things you could have done differently. You could have told Adar back in Mordor that Halbrand was Sauron. You could have slaughtered him yourself with Morgoth’s crown. You had known then, after all, where Adar was keeping it. You could have discouraged your husband instead of encouraging him when it came to the matter of attacking Eregion.
So many things you could have done differently but you had been blinded by Sauron and his empty promises.
You reached the cliff and there you could witness the true image of what you had caused – burning Eregion, one of the most beautiful Elven cities… now fallen. Your eyes welled with tears but could you really blame yourself? It was all him – Sauron.
“I have promised you, have I not?” His voice filled your head that very moment. You turned around but no one was there as your heart skipped a beat. His voice was overlooming and malicious – he was angry with you and you could feel it despite the physical distance.
“Promised me what?” You asked, angrily.
“I have promised I would destroy them all. All the beautiful Elven cities you felt so small compared to. Mithlond, Eregion… I have promised that you would watch them burn,” Sauron reminded you.
“You have promised me I would watch them burn with a crown upon my head,” you gritted your teeth.
“And you promised me you would bring me the very crown and put it onto my head. Back in Mordor, when I was your prisoner. How sweet you were to me then,” Sauron answered, his voice filled with sinister irony.
“Leave me,” you shook your head and shut your eyes close, letting the warm tears stream down your cheeks.
“You have outdone yourself, I must admit, my love. You might have earned my forgiveness with the army you brought me,” he whispered before leaving your mind as you had requested.
You took a deep breath in and opened your eyes rapidly.
Adar.
You had to find him. You had to find him now.
You gathered your skirts and ran back inside the forest, through the trees and the hidden paths you were able to see perfectly well because of your Elven heritage. Your ancestors had been running through forests like this one – maybe even the same woods. It was in your blood to be able to swiftly move through the trees.
In no time you found yourself in your favourite spot by the fallen tree where the sunlight was creeping in. And as you circled around, wondering where to go, you overheard glimpses of conversations. You immediately recognised your husband’s voice but also… Lady Galadriel’s?
With a furrowed brow, you followed the voices and found yourself approaching a small forest clearing with a stone circle, which had most likely been made by your kin back in the First Age. In the very centre of it stood the biggest stone and Morgoth’s crown was placed upon it.
Your husband was approaching Lady Galadriel and handing her back a Ring – you assumed he had managed to get the one forged by Lord Celebrimbor for her. And the power of this item you could feel even there, hidden between the trees. It was vibrating with pure light and chiming with a beautiful, Elven song.
And Adar’s face was different. It was… Healed. You gasped and took a step ahead but when he turned his face back at you, you could see the scars appearing once more because the Ring was now back on Lady Galadriel’s finger.
“We must go,” you swallowed the lump in your throat as you approached them. “We must go back home. Please,” you grabbed him by his sleeve. “I beg of you,” you added, not caring much about your pride anymore. You didn’t even mind Lady Galadriel’s curious gaze.
“On the contrary,” Adar smiled softly and caressed your cheek. “We have just made ourselves a deal with the Elves” he told you and you furrowed your brows before laying your eyes on Galadriel. She smiled nervously at you. “Together, we might destroy Sauron.”
Hope bloomed deep inside of you once more at his words. You cracked a smile at Galadriel, too.
“Thank you,” you breathed out to her.
But despite all of that, you had a feeling that something was not right. It was too easy. Sauron would never let it happen and he would surely predict it.
“We shall create a lasting peace in Middle-earth,” Adar added and you squeezed his arm tighter, lovingly. “Now and forever.”
You knew that deep down that was all he had ever wanted – for his children to have their own land and live there peacefully as he would watch over them. And you would, too. By his side. You smiled to yourself.
Your small moment of blissfulness was interrupted by a few Orcs carrying Glûg on the stretchers. His face was wincing out of pain and he seemed to be hurt. Adar left your side immediately and you stood there with Galadriel while you observed.
“What happened?” Adar kneeled down to check on his son.
“We found Sauron, Lord Father,” one of the Orcs explained and you moved uncomfortably at that mention. “He tried to make Glûg betray you, but he resisted. So, Sauron did this. The others are pursuing him now.”
“Forgive me, child,” Adar whispered to Glûg.
You wanted to go to him, too but you tilted your head instead when you realised that the rest of the Orcs were not kneeling by their dying brother’s side. No, they were keeping a fair distance as they formed a circle around Adar and Glûg, with their hands close to the hilts of their weapons.
“Adar…” You called his name. “My love, can you come back to me?” You reached out to him with your hand carefully as it trembled.
But he did not listen to you because, at that moment, his son’s pain was his priority.
“It’s too late…” Glûg groaned.
“It’s never too late,” Adar insisted. “Not even for me. And not for you, my son.”
“Adar…!” You insisted but you were ignored once more and tears filled your eyes. You even took a small step closer even though at that moment, you were not sure anymore if you could keep trusting the Orcs.
“It’s too late…” Glûg whimpered as if he was dying and a short moment after you watched in terror how he pierced Adar’s side with his blade.
You shouted and reached for your sword without thinking twice about whether your abilities were enough or not to fight them but when you were about to charge at the Orcs attacking your husband and him not even trying to defend himself… you were stopped.
A hand on your shoulder.
You looked around and saw Sauron’s face so close to yours that you gasped. He had a new form once again but this time it did not differ so much from the previous one. He was a blond Elf now, radiating light and wisdom. A blasphemous image, surely.
His eyes in that moment were nothing but two dark abysses as he was looking you up and down with pure hatred and curiosity.
“Let go of her!” Lady Galadriel ordered and you nearly chuckled at how naive she could be.
“She is exactly where she is supposed to be. By my side,” Sauron smirked and you turned your head around once more to glance at your husband.
Adar was laying on the ground now but he was still alive enough to see. You tried to get free from Sauron’s grasp and he surprisingly allowed it.
There was no point of fighting the Orcs now – there were too many of them. And perhaps some part of you wished for them to do to your body the same thing they had done to your husband. So, you tossed aside Morgoth’s sword because it would only slow you down and you hurried to Adar’s side as you kneeled by him and sobbed.
“Please, stop!” You begged the Orcs but they ignored you. Yet, their blades made sure to not even scratch you as they were piercing through Adar. “Please…” You begged and begged as Adar laid his blue eyes filled with sadness on your face. “My love, please, forgive me… Please…” You caressed his cheeks and his hair as your tears were falling down upon his face. “You can’t die thinking I did not love you. I am so sorry… So, so sorry…”
Sauron approached you all, which caused the Orcs to retreat. You noticed he was holding Morgoth’s crown now in his hand. They were standing in a circle above you and you were kneeling down, holding Adar’s dying body, sobbing and looking up at your corrupted lover.
“Please…” You whispered. “I love him,” you told Sauron.
But Sauron did not react. He only watched with a twisted satisfaction and you squeezed Adar’s cold hand. You felt his fingers trying to squeeze back yours, which only made you sob even more.
“My… children…” He looked at you as he breathed out in the Black Speech.
“They are not children anymore,” Sauron informed him and you shot him a deadly glance. Glûg was standing right next to him and your pain mixed with anger at the thought that it was him out of them all who had betrayed your husband.
“I forgive you,” Adar told you in the Quenya language now and your heart skipped a beat. “I love you.”
You were too heartbroken to say anything to that but you knew that he knew how much you loved him, too. And you knew he understood why you had done all those things – he understood what it meant to be under Sauron’s spell.
Sauron put his hand upon your shoulder and moved you away slightly to make more space for Glûg to finish Adar off with one final stroke as he yelled and you sobbed.
When the fallen Elves die, where do they go?
“What orders, Lord Sauron?” Glûg asked Sauron as all the Orcs bowed down. The very moment their Lord Father let out his last breath.
Crying silent tears, nothing but hatred grew and grew inside of your heart for them now. They were just like everyone had been saying – vile and cruel. They did not know anything about love or loyalty.
They did not deserve Adar.
You did not deserve Adar.
“Raze Eregion,” Sauron ordered but you couldn't care less about anything else now. All that mattered was your husband, laying there dead. You were still squeezing his hand. “Leave no Elf alive but bring me their leaders.”
“Hail Sauron! Hail the new Dark Lord!” Glûg shouted in the Black Speech and the rest followed, screaming it over and over.
In the meantime, you caressed Adar’s face and wiped the black blood streaming down his chin from the corner of his mouth with your thumb. You fixed his hair delicately and closed his eyelids and it nearly looked like he was asleep.
The Orcs finally ran away, passing you by. Sauron kept staring at you with contempt and you looked up with hatred.
“I will be back,” he smirked and walked away to join Lady Galadriel since the business between them was surely not over yet. You watched with gritted teeth how he picked up your sword and claimed it as his.
And, once more, you found yourself not caring. Because it did not matter, after all. Nothing mattered and you felt nothing, too. You were empty.
Sauron and Galadriel began their duel but you did not watch. She hurried away into the forest and Sauron followed her and now all you could hear was the sound of clinking metal.
“Sleep, my dear,” you whispered as you looked down at Adar’s peaceful face and caressed his hair. “Sleep, you deserve it,” you added with a trembling voice.
Your hands went lower to his own because you wanted to take the wedding ring off of his finger to keep it. You did so and then you reached with your fingers inside his sleeve and you sobbed more after finding there the leaves of the holy trees you had married under.
“Oh, Adar…” You lowered yourself to press your forehead to his. “Thank you for everything.”
He was the very first who had shown you love and given you power. You missed him already – his soft smiles at you, the brushes of his fingertips upon your cheeks, his rough voice, his usual calmness, his wisdom. His respect towards you and how safe he was able to make you feel. That you just knew he would never harm you – his wife.
You did not know how much time had passed but you were sitting there without moving an inch, holding Adar’s body close and feeling how his body was slowly getting colder and colder.
Familiar footsteps brought you back to reality. Sauron, wielding your sword in one hand and Morgoth’s crown in another with Galadriel’s blood dripping down from its iron spikes as you looked up to see his angry face.
“She refused you once more,” you pointed out, bitterly. “So you’re back to me. What would you do if she said yes? Would I join my husband in death then?” You asked, calling Adar your husband to spite him.
“She said no and I am here,” Sauron clenched his jaw. “What would you do if he was alive?” He asked and your expression changed because, sadly, he had a point.
He had betrayed you but you had betrayed him, too. It was only fair. But just like you had feared his wrath – perhaps he should fear yours, too. That would be fair as well.
“He is dead and I am here,” you caressed Adar’s cheek one last time and stood up to be on Sauron’s level. “Give me back my sword,” you reached out with your hand but there was no reaction from him. “It was not a plea. The sword is mine, so is Mordor and so is the army. I have earned them,” you stated, harshly and Sauron let out a contemptuous laugh. “The Lady of Light did not follow you and you were a fool for thinking she would even consider it,” you added and Sauron’s laughter stopped in an instant as he shot you a deadly glance.
He could not threaten you with death, though, because it would only mean a reunion with Adar, therefore you did not fear it anymore.
“Only I am rotten enough to follow you, Sauron,” you pointed out, bitterly. “Perhaps all of this had to happen for us to finally realise that we are cursed with one another,” you continued and walked past Adar’s body to get your sword from Sauron’s hands yourself. He allowed you to but he kept watching you closely. “We are doomed to walk side by side, my love,” you whispered but your words were malicious.
You looked deep into his scary eyes although you were sure yours were just as terrifying at that moment. And when you were getting the sword from him, your hands joined together for a moment as you two froze like that.
You hated and despised him. He had betrayed you. And yet, it was true that you had to be doomed to be with him because, still, you felt attracted to him. Still, you would follow him wherever he would go now.
You had nowhere else to go anyway.
“I rue the day I met you,” you told him in Black Speech, “shadow of Morgoth.”
Those words visibly angered him as he tilted his head with a smirk.
“If I am nothing but his shadow, what does that make you? You are merely made in the image of me,” Sauron remarked.
“No, I am my own self. My own person. My own soul with my own desires,” you raised your head high. “If I am to follow you, it will be on different terms this time. It will be as your equal,” you insisted.
“What use are you to me except for warming my bed?” Sauron grabbed you by your chin as he brought your face closer and his hot breath fanned over your skin.
“What use are you to me except for warming mine?” You answered, calmly.
Your spat was interrupted by Glûg himself who ran up to you with one of his friends. At the sight of him, Sauron let go of your chin and you both turned around to face the Orcs.
“We are overwhelmed, Lord Sauron!” Glûg exclaimed after approaching you two and you kept staring at him with nothing but pure hatred and disgust. Like he deserved to be treated after everything he had done. “The Dwarves are securing the Elves’ retreat,” he shook his head, nervously.
Sauron said nothing and kept staring at the Orc with a puzzled expression, surprised that he even dared to file such a complaint. Glûg laid his small and pleading eyes on you as he bowed down.
“If we pursue, many Uruks will die, Lady Mother,” he addressed you and his words caused your jaw to clench as blood boiled in your veins.
“Do not call me that,” you scolded him, harshly, as you glanced briefly at your husband’s dead body before looking back at the Orc. “I have no love for you,” you told him and Glûg’s eyes widened. “You have betrayed the only person who was able to love your filthy kin,” you added and you made your point very clear to the rest by piercing your sword right through him.
And what a satisfaction it brought you to watch him choke on it when it was him who had betrayed your husband the most. You twisted the blade and retreated it as Glûg fell down on the ground and curled up to die.
“What are you staring at?” You barked at his shocked and terrified friend. “Go back and fight!” You ordered and he ran away.
Short silence occurred between you and Sauron. When you finally broke it by sighing and turning around to walk away slightly, you felt his hands on your wrists, pulling you closer once more. His face was right in front of yours but this time there was no threat in them and they were no black abysses anymore but a beautiful shade of green.
However, you moved away.
“I want to give my husband a proper burial,” you crouched down next to Adar’s body. “Then I can go with you.”
You formed the funeral pyre yourself in that favourite spot of yours by the fallen tree. It took you a whole day since you were carefully choosing the best branches to do so. And it was you without anyone’s help moving Adar’s body on top of it. When you were able to finally light the fire, it was dark already but you knew he would prefer it this way.
You hesitated while carrying the torch because you knew that burning him was a definite act. He would be no more. Not even his flesh.
Yet, you couldn’t leave him behind to rot.
“In flames he returns to darkness,” you whispered in the Black Speech and lit the pyre before taking a step back and watching it burn.
You were so cried out that only one single tear streamed down your cheek and you did not even bother to wipe it.
A quiet sound of the footsteps made you realise that Sauron joined you but you did not look back. You knew he made that slight noise with the purpose of letting you know he was there, so you ignored him purposefully, too.
“You, Elves, you marry once in a lifetime, do you not?” He stood right behind you and you sighed at the irony in his voice.
“We do,” you nodded as you played nervously with the contents of your pocket – two wedding rings and the leaves of the holy trees. “But in the eyes of the Valar, we are married. You and I,” you turned your head around to look at his devilishly handsome face being lit by the light from the dancing flames. “I have given myself to you out of my own free will and during our first night together I became your wife,” you reminded him, bitterly. “You have many brides, though, am I right, Lord Sauron?”
He did not answer as he kept staring at the flames but he put his hands on your shoulders and pulled you a bit closer to him.
“None of them as terrific as you,” he confessed with a hint of admiration and leaned in to place a kiss upon your temple.
His words were like venom – treacherous and infectious. You liked to think that you were immune now to him and his craft but perhaps you had overestimated your own self.
You turned your head around and your noses brushed softly as you gave in and opened your lips to welcome his hungry kiss.
“My Dark Lady of Mordor,” he whispered between the kisses. “Commander of my Army. My Queen.”
His Queen. Everything you had once wanted and now you had it.
But what a price you had to pay for it.
What a price indeed… To find out that you had a heart hidden in there despite it all – only for it to die and rot shortly after.
And whatever was left of it, Sauron had a tight hold on it.
“Your Queen,” you cracked a sad smile and let go of the wedding rings and the leaves inside your pocket to raise your hand and caress his smooth cheek. “Your malediction.”
AUTHOR’S NOTE 2.0 — Hi, it's me again! 👋🏻 If you are here for angst, then I think reading Adar's ending might make it worse for you because it shows you the possibility of what could have been only if our Reader made slightly different choices. If you read both endings, you will see that it was mostly small gestures of kindness and compassion that decided her fate. 💓
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