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alreadyblondenow · 1 year ago

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▸ Assassin Jaehyun x Assassin Female reader ▸ Smut, Smut, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Gore, MATURE ▸ JAEHYUN SMUT SERIES: FUCK, MARRY, KILL ▸ VOLUME I: PART 1, PART 2, PART 3

Summary: The start of a new life. Training to be an assassin and a chance to experience true love. The son of the leader of the Jeong clan fell in love with you while you two live your lives as assassins. He promised a quiet life, but when things went south. You decided to leave Jaehyun… and hide your daughter from him.

VOLUME I: PART 1 WORD COUNT: 7,889k

Warnings: THIS FIC IS FICTION ONLY, Smut, smut, smut, MATURE THEMES, Heavy description of killings because most of the characters are assassins, mentions of blood, character death, A LOT OF NCT MEMBERS WILL D WORD IN THIS FIC, unprotected sex, mentions of condoms, mentions of pill, pregnancy, swearing, mentions of alcohol. Mentions of being an orphan, Not everything is proofread, apologies again. I hope I did not forget anything.

A/N: I will cut VOLUME I into three parts, just because 20k word count is not acceptable in one post hahaha. I'm sorry :( I will try to put warnings on every part of the story that has gory details. This will still focus on the love story but still I wanted to write again so this may be long. I hope everyone will enjoy every word of VOLUME I.

Too good to be true

When you singlehandedly ruined your life it’s a given fact that you became desperate to saving yourself especially when you know that no one else got your back. No family, no friends, it’s just you and your shadow. You’re an orphan who’s friendless, no one would take you and on top of that …. You’re fully capable of hurting people. That’s why everyone is scared of you.

“The orphanage… cannot handle you anymore. You’re a good person y/n, you cause trouble because bullies won’t leave you alone… but you’re becoming… too dangerous. I’m sorry- it’s the Jeongs or the slums.” The head of the orphanage explains to you with sorry eyes.

The Jeongs… Who are they? Am I finally getting adopted? You thought alone as you fix your things, preparing to leave first thing in the morning. Why does it have to be so rushed? Are they really excited to meet me?

The next day, you were picked up by a tall man. A big, buff and tall man named Chanyeol. He looked sharp in his suit, he immediately explained that he will drive you to the Jeong’s residence and also explained your purpose there from now on. And that’s where your fantasies about having a family disappears. “You are adopted by the Jeongs to be one of their assasins. To kill for them” The words from that guy Chanyeol’s mouth sounded unreal, you wanted to ask if he’s just scaring you and if he’s joking. Apparently not.

The Jeong’s residence was big. It’s like a paradise. It looks peaceful because it has a very green garden, big trees, flowers here and there, and nice staffs that wore black their entire life working for the Jeongs. There were three other guys arrived after you. They all look alone too and lost, and you figured they all came in different countries.

“Taeyong, Yuta and Mark. This is Y/n,” a woman in black introduced them to you, they all said hi but you can see right through them… they all have this wall around them as if any time the people here are going to kill them any second. “From now on the five of you will be a team and will work with the Jeongs” she added. “Five? There’s only four of us here” Mark said, he’s the youngest.

“You will meet the fifth member tomorrow before you training starts…”

By the time she took you guys for a quick tour around the residence, your world became quiet as if you’re not interested anymore. You just want to rest and start what you need to do in this place.

It feels good huh? You said to yourself as you stare in the mirror of your own bathroom. It feels good to finally know your purpose in life. The Jeongs gave you shelter, comfortable clothes that are all black but all new and nice, your own room with all the things you need… they even gave you a makeup kit. And you wonder whats that for.

There were only 5 things they want you to remember. In exchange for the Jeong’s goodness, you need to:

Train to be an assassin everyday.

Only one Holiday outside.

Don’t make friends outside. We are your friends and family now.

Look out for each other.

Earn your freedom. That means after your years of service, you will of course have your freedom.

The terms were simple and you can only hope that killing someone is as simple as these rules too.

Everything is too good to be true.

Until now, you can’t believe that you’re lucky to have this kind of family now.

“So when are we going to meet the fifth member?” Taeyong asked, the oldest. He has a cold impression, scary but very handsome.

“I’m here. Sorry- my sister and mother is very dramatic. They were having a hard time letting me go. By the way, I’m Jaehyun!” he said with a big smile in his face. He is the first person in this place who actually lit up the entire room with just a smile.

He’s very handsome. Almost as if you were looking at a saint, you thought.

“You look lost,” Yuta said, the Japanese guy who looked tough. “The four of us looked so lost when we arrived, but we all felt that we belonged here… but you, I believe you’re out of place. You don’t belong here you’re too happy”

“I’m not happy. I’m just as miserable as you are, I just don’t show it” Jaehyun said with a cocky smile.

“Oh come on! It’s our first day together, what is up with this tension?” Mark tried to stop Jaehyun and Yuta from fighting, but Yuta knows the truth already.

“This guy right here is the only son of Mr. and Mrs. Jeong. The next in line to be the next great Jeong” Yuta said with a smirk, mocking Jaehyun’s last name. And this time, he is getting on Jaehyun’s nerves already… but Jaehyun knew better than cause trouble. He calmed himself down and did not let his anger get him.

Everyone in the room completely understood what’s happening here. He is the son or Mr. Jeong, Jeong Yoonoh, but they call him Jaehyun. He is next in line after Mr. Jeong, the one and only son and is expected to take the family business when the time comes.

A typical plot, everyone thought. But training your one and only son to be a monster is a different kind of brutality. You can only imagine what kind of struggles he’s carrying.

“On behalf of my parents, and family, I would like to apologies for them” he bowed in front of everyone sincerely, “I will start training with you guys but that doesn’t mean I am not grateful to sacrificing your lives for our clan. Thank you” after that, he walked towards Yuta whispered beside his shoulder,

“Don’t you think it’s fucked up? That my father sent me here- his only son. You don’t know me” Jaehyun said sternly that made Yuta shut up.

The room became quiet and as the first instructor enters, giving Jaehyun and Yuta a good punch before everything starts.

And that is the start of your life here as an assassin.

You’re adopted to be an assassin. You’re going to grow old here.

The past few weeks was easy. You had the opportunity to know your colleagues, all four of them. Finally, people you can call family you thought. It’s part of your training to treat each and everyone as family because by the time you guys are sent for a mission, no one can be left behind. In other words, each and everyone of you should be capable of saving each other.

Eventually, Jaehyun and Yuta became friends. Good friends.

Months have passed and this was the beginning of every struggle. It has been heavy and hard. The training was harder. Everyone is bleeding but everyone grew stronger without you guys noticing.

After a years of training, you became good with guns and became a good fighter as well. Theres nothing much of your story… yet. But you are loving this new life that the Jeongs have given to you.

Jaehyun is good at everything. He was expected to do so. If not, his father will give him a hard time. During the training everyone could see the pressure that he carries everyday. The constant reminder of “I have to be great at this part,” you can basically see it in his face.

Yuta became a swordsman, and is actually good with everything sharp. Eventually, you guys knew his story. That his family, The Nakamoto clan is in huge debt of the Jeongs, and he came in here voluntarily for the honor of his family. Obviously, besides Jaehyun, he’s the only person who has a family.

Taeyong became the leader and can turn everything into a weapon. Everyone was quite expecting this already, aside from weapons Taeyong is good at strategizing… planning and organizing everything for everyone not to get killed.

Mark, became really good at technology. He can hack every system. Unfortunately, because he’s the youngest, he’s not allowed to do the dirty job, only the techie stuff. Which he loves doing.

Everyone matured in their own way, Chanyeol even got married. But even though time flies so fast they haven’t sent anyone of you to kill somebody yet.

It was a scary thought. Everyday you wake up thinking, “Is this the day?”. Is this going to be the day that you will kill for the first time in your life? Its not that you kill innocent people, the people that you’re about to kill in the future probably deserves it. At least thats what you’re told.

You thought that accepting the reality of what you’re doing is the hardest thing but no. “Wait until your first kill. It’s like your first love, you will never forget it” Chanyeol said during one of his lectures.

But by the time everyone had their first kill already, everyone became unstoppable.

They started training you at the age of 19 and watched you grow to be a young assassin at the age of 24. You grew up ruthless, crazy, and merciless. You have your own way of killing the people you need to kill, you do it fast, but whenever you want to play, you watch their souls leave their eyes. You even became Jaehyun’s father his favorite assassin because you could be anything and you could kill anyone.

“You could be a perfect Jeong,” Jaehyun joked while you two are sharpening knives that you both used from training earlier. You watch him in front of you and you cant help but notice, he really is handsome but Jaehyun is not only handsome because of his look. Maybe… he’s handsome in you’re eyes because he’s actually nice, he’s nice at the staffs here, he’s nice to you, heck… he takes care of you. He grew up well despite the dangerous environment he’s already in.

“I don’t want to be a Jeong- I’m not perfect,” you said while you work with a knife.

“You’re perfect in my eyes and in my father’s eyes,” he replied.

By this time you just wanted to shut him up and make him stop. Quite annoying actually. “So what, you want to be siblings with me? You have sisters aren’t they enough? or you want someone who kills people for a living as your sister?”

“Nope. What I meant was marry me someday,” He bravely said.

There was silence between you two, awkwardness. Jaehyun really saw the ugly truth that it’s not yet time to confess his feeling to you. Not this way, but well, at least he tried.

“I’m just kidding” he added to take away the awkwardness, “Dinner is almost ready, don’t be late okay?”

There’s nothing in the world you hate the most than going on a mission alone. You’ve always done missions alone though, but whenever it gets too long to finish, you miss home a little too much as days go by.

New York is always busy. It never gave you the calm feeling that you’ve been yearning for.

Again, Its lonely when you do missions away from home. It’s the kind of mission where you have to be patient and plan your kill silently, and without trace. The one that you have to plan oh so carefully because you have to make it look like an accident. And because it’s frustrating you, you’re now looking at a beautiful sunset, breathing in and out, on this busy park. Feeling the cold breeze of today, feeling it kiss your face, it’s almost Christmas you tell yourself and shook your head immediately because you just missed home even more.

Another thing you hate about being lonely, is that you kept thinking about the blurry future. The one that was promised after years of service, your freedom. You can’t help but think about hows it like to have a normal life, quiet mornings, experiencing love, experiencing heartbreak, new beginnings and discover opportunities.

It was calm but at the same time, noisy for a moment, until you received a call from an unknown number. Little did you know, this phone call will change your life.

“Hello?” You wait for the person on the other line to talk.

“Well, you look lonely. What’s bothering you?”

Of course you knew that voice. The voice that gave you a smile tonight, and has been making you smile ever since you two met.

“You could ruin both of our missions-“ you giggle through the phone but Jaehyun was beside you already and pulled you in for a warm hug.

“Why are you dressed so thin?” He said, looking fine as ever while he talks to you. He was all red, his nose, his ears, he looked like he’s really freezing but he did not hesitate to give you his coat.

“I didn’t know that we were on the exact same location” you said as you swing your arms around his and stay close to him. Motioning him to walk with you.

“I didn’t know it either but, Mark told me that we were. He also said that you’ve been home sick lately”

“Yeah. I’ve been- it’s frustrating me Jae. I can’t shake him up and point him towards my trap”

“Patience. Just be patient,” he smiles.

The night went on beautifully. Jaehyun took you to dinner, had couple of drinks, walked around town, took pictures together like you’re on vacation, you two were playing around, making alibis, wondering if anyone from your missions pass by and recognize any of you. It will ruin both your covers, and what you two are doing right now is dangerous.

While you two are walking towards your apartment, you asked Jaehyun, “Have you ever had a girlfriend before?”

“Nope. Nothing real. It’s all for the mission, I guess. Been with a couple of girls, all part of the mission” Jaehyun answers.

“Me too. Sometimes when I’m with someone, I can’t help but think what’s it like to have the real thing”

And that gave Jaehyun a stupid idea. A stupid idea to make use of your time together here in Nee York.

It’s a beautiful time.

A beautiful time to be together.

If he couldn’t admit his feelings to you, he will drive you towards love instead and make you love him.

“Thank you for tonight Jae, I really needed it” you reached out for his hand and gave it a good squeeze before pulling him in for a hug before you go inside.

“Hey can I visit you again tomorrow?” Jaehyun asks, with a smile.

“Of course. Good night Jae,” you said sweetly.

As promised, Jaehyun visited you the next day, and the day after that, and the following days.

Your friendship bloomed beautifully but it was pretty obvious that it wasn’t just friendship this time. You’re not stupid, you didn't miss how he puts his arm around your waist and keep you close whenever the place gets too crowded. Like that time while you two rode the subway together, he kept you close and made you feel safe.. as if you’re not capable of saving yourself.

He made you feel like you can depend on him. He made you feel like he’s your man.

But most importantly, you can see that Jaehyun has been putting the work for the both of you.

He has been doing the things he likes with you, while you do the things you like with him. It was beautiful you thought.

You’ve always wanted to hug someone in the morning and tell them good morning.

You’ve always wanted to make coffee for someone, not because you have to, but because you actually want to.

You’ve always wanted to have quiet moments while you read a book, and just enjoy a good day quietly… with your someone. With Jaehyun, it was always calm and warm.

Like this afternoon.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Jaehyun asks while playing with your hair. You on the other hand is feeling very comfortable laying your head in his lap.

“I love the time we spent together… I can’t help but think of the day we finally get to go home… are we going to be close like this?”

“You’re thinking too much—“

“Yeah you’re right I’m thinking too much,” you got up quickly from your comfort because it pissed you off. How can he disregard what you just said to him… it was basically a confession.

But just before you walk away from him, he was quick to grab your hand, and made him face you.

The tension between you two was intensifying. He’s never touched you like this or be close like this.

Then he finally kissed you.

After years of yearning, patience and stopping himself from confessing. He finally did it.

It was a beautiful afternoon. A beautiful afternoon to kiss and confess each other’s feelings through the way you kiss each other, the way your hands roam around, and the way sweet words just comes out from your mouths naturally.

He motioned you towards your shared room, hands carefully undress each other in between giggling and whispering.

It all felt right at the moment.

His hands are warm when it roams around your skin, it feels like you’re burning in want when his fingers first glide on your wet slit while his mouth is busy kissing your neck and whispering the things you should do. Like, ‘open your legs more,— thats more I like it’, ‘do you want cum already or should I do more?’ ‘Calm down, you look like you’re about to cum’ ‘I want to hear my name’

And in between those lustful moment, he kisses you sweetly, as if he’s telling you ‘please’

When he saw that you’re already soaking, his kisses went down along your body, kissing and licking your boobs, taking his time to turn you on again and again, until he reaches your pussy and did not waited a second to kiss it and spread your pussy lips. Working with his fingers, up and down and taking turns with his mouth. Time seems to be slowing down at the moment while you arch your back and unintentionally grip Jaehyun’s hair while you enjoy every second of his what his mouth, lips, tongue and fingers could do to you.

Until you reach your first high and asked for more.

He reached for your hand and made you pump his cock, “ready?” He asks, you just nod sweetly and reached for his face to kiss him hungrily.

It didn’t hurt that much but there was a good stretch. He was big after all, and his rawness felt so good around your walls you can’t get enough of it.

He thrusted slowly, kissing you while he focuses on making you feel good, careful not to hurt you.

“Fuck- you fuck so good,” with heavy breaths that compliment came out of nowhere he just kissed your neck to respond to that. “Are you really this good at everything Jaehyun?” You added, swinging your arms around his body, touching every part of him which he loves. You touch his body while he looks at you eye to eye, you put one finger in his mouth and it was just another paradise.

When you feel him asking for more. You comply to what he wanted to do. He flipped you on your stomach and licked your entrance before you feel him kiss your back which made you weak and land face first on the mattress. Little did you know, it was just his way to get you on his favorite sex position.

Now your on all fours, face on the mattress while Jaehyun thrusts on your pussy slowly. You can feel his hands rest on your ass, giving a slight smack whenever you try to put it down, but he was also quick to replace it with a kiss before going back to business.

“You don’t know how many times I imagined doing this to you,” he whispers and planted kisses on your face.

When he felt you clenching around his cock, he fucked you faster making the bed rock and mattress creak. He came inside you of course, while kissing your back and soothing your right ass cheek. When he pulled out, he inserted one finger which felt nice and made you excited again.

“We’ll go another round,” he winked and watched his cum come out of your pussy.

That night, you two stayed in bed and fuck more than you could have imagine.

Of course there’s a time where you just talked about your feelings. How much you two don’t want to go back just yet and how much you wanted this relationship to work.

After that night, you don’t need to imagine what real love feels like.

Love and home suddenly became a person for you and that’s Jaehyun.

You can feel his presence already whenever you feel like he’ll arrive anytime soon at your doorstep and shower him with kisses. Love is knowing that someone will come home to you. Love is watching a movie together, and not noticing that one of you is sleeping already. Love is trying to impress Jaehyun with your cooking skills, and even though he’s a better cook he says you cook better.

Love is having someone to comfort you whenever you have nightmares and you see the faces of the people you kill in your dreams.

“Y/n, wake up, baby you’re having a nightmare”

Jaehyun open the lampshade and got you a glass of water after successfully waking you up. He’s been waking up for five minutes already. He was so worried.

When you’re all calm again, your now watching the rain outside and enjoying the quiet evening. Arms around each other, keeping each other warm.

“We’ve experienced tough shit — I really believe that we deserve each other’s love” he whispers so he wont ruin the quietness of a beautiful night.

Days continue to be beautiful with Jaehyun. It felt like a dream but he was a hundred percent real because he proves it every day. The moment you wake up, you get to see his handsome face. Arms around you, like he’s never planning to let you go.

You reached your vibrating phone and answer the call, Jeno. He was your mission. Your fake boyfriend. The one you need to kill.

“Hello?” You answered, trying to get out of Jaehyun’s embrace but too late, you woke him up and decided not let you go. As he’s reminding you who your real boyfriend is. He thought of teasing you while you’re on the call but he knew better. Work should be respected.

“Hey, I just miss you… where have you been?” Jeno says, giving you a hint that he knew you were cheating and seeing a man beside him. Of course, you knew that already, Jaehyun mentioned that Jeno sent a gut to tail on him. Your boyfriend just laughed it out, he sees Jeno as a joke.

“I was actually just gonna call you— sorry I’ve been busy with work, with the coming holidays”

But even though Jeno knew you’re cheating, he still wanted to make things work. So he tries. “Can we go on a vacation tomorrow? Please? Days have been stressful and I just miss you”

“Tomorrow? Uhh.. sure why not? Text me the details? Do you want to grab dinner tonight?” Words continue to come out of your mouth that hurt Jaehyun. But what can you do? You still have to play the part.

When the call ended Jaehyun was silent. His eyes were closed and hasn’t said a word the moment you ended the call.

But the man… truly and deeply loves you. So he stopped being childish and greet you good morning and showered you with kisses.

“So I guess we have morning until afternoon then,” he said and kissed your shoulders. You just smiled and kissed him good morning which turned you on, “Why do you have to be so damn irresistable?”

Jaehyun just chuckled and kissed your lips for the last time before he got up from bed, “I know we can’t get enough of each other but we have to get up now, it’s a busy day for the both of us but… can I just kill Jeno and have you for myself?” he joked.

Even though Jaehyun knew that this is all part of the job, he can’t help but think that … he can’t just let you allow them to touch you. He wanted you to at least… think of him…

The whole morning was unexpectedly quiet. You know the reason so you confronted him. “I wont let him lay a finger on me from now on, I promise” you said and hugged him behind while he’s cooking. “I know you’re worried. But please don’t forget that I am more than capable to protect myself”

“Thank you for promising,” he smiled and kissed you. When Jeno kept you away from Jaehyun it was torture for you. You used to like it whenever you and Jeno have sex, hell- that’s the reason why you got him around your finger. But now that you’ve experienced love finally and you know how making love feels like… you just can’t let Jeno touch you ever again.

The whole trip was a mess. You stopped yourself from just slitting his throat while he’s sleeping. He didn’t like it when you stop him from having sex whenever he asks you to. He hated every reason you give him, but he never forced you. Of course Jeno knew this was because you’re cheating on him. He was planning to get you killed. Little did he know, you’re already ten steps ahead of him.

By the time you and Jeno got back from that wasted vacation, he kept you on his side most of the time. Making sure you don’t have time for Jaehyun. He visits your apartment every night, pick you up in the morning, and spend time with you whenever he can. He even admitted that he really loves you. You just faked it and told him, you love him too. It’s disgusting.

Jeno is a head of a drug cartel. He made a very famous drug that made a lot of people crazy about it. Too much of it can definitely kill you. That’s what happened to the daughter of Mr. Seo. Well she didn’t die, almost die. Mr. Seo is a powerful man that has great connections with great doctors whom took care of her daughter. Long story short, the daughter was Jeno’s ex-girlfriend, they made that drug together but Mr. Seo denied that his daughter had anything to do with it.

By the way, Mr. Seo is Mr. Jeong’s longtime business partner. And that’s why you’re here. To serve revenge to someone’s daughter.

Jaehyun on the other hand, is here to protect Mr. Seo’s daughter, just in case Jeno tries to send someone and kill her. But he just protects the girl from a far. Jaehyun is very careful with his job, he hates messy things. He’s the silent killer not you.

“Can we just switch missions? I’ll protect the girl and you kill Jeno?” you joke and booped his nose. You just finished having sex and it really felt good to be fucked by the man you love after for so long you thought. This has been the first night you’ve been together, ever since Jeno kept you away. This wouldn’t even happen if Jaehyun didn’t kill the man tailing him. Poor guy you thought.

“Don’t give me ideas,” he laughed and made you sit on top of him, creating a great view of your body, you then reached for his cock and surprised him. He didn’t expect that you’d put it in and grind on top of him.

“You were saying?” you wanted him to continue what he was saying while you fuck him. Yes, fuck him.

“I said…” he croaked, almost a moan. He couldn’t even finish a sentence, “don’t give me ideas that I could easily do” he pulled you down so you’re closer to him, kissing your neck while you continue what you do. In a matter of minutes, Jaehyun came and you stayed on to him, feeling him catch his breath.

“If Jeno dies, we both come home— but I’m not pressuring you,” he laughed and kissed you, “I’m just a little excited to what’s next for our life after this mission, you know?”

But you were already sleeping when he checked up on you. Of course he didn’t just let you sleep naked on top of him, gently he made lay you down beside him and looked for clean clothes to cover you up. He kissed you goodbye because he needed to work tonight.

The next day, there was something off with Jeno that he kept on getting mad and he’s getting into your nerves. That pushed you to go for the kill and just use a knife to kill him. To your surprise, he was specially skilled with sharp objects too. You didn’t back down of course, you gave his pretty face a nice scar, just incase he survives and you fail to kill him, at least he will remember you.

“Your boyfriend is an assassin too, I know that much. He’s dead now,”

And those words got the best of you. It caught you off guard making him had the chance to pierce the knife deep.

Now you’re on weak on the floor bleeding and trying to survive. But your mind is really not on what’s happening to you, you don’t care if you die. But you care if Jaehyun is really dead. It can’t be. He’s the greatest assassin you’ve ever seen.

You feel your body getting weaker and weaker as you crawl away from Jeno… then suddenly you hear a thud. And heard someone call your name…

“Y/n— fuck, stay with me baby,”

It was Jaehyun. You’re sure that he’s well and alive.

“It’s just a cut Jae, I’ll live for sure,”

Jaehyun on the other hand was quick to get materials he knew could save you. He also called for Mark’s to send help and clean up Jeno’s body. “Mark, Y/n needs help send a doctor to Jeno’s place now and clean up”

“Got it! Yuta is also on his way to fill in for you— we had a lead on,”

“Mark, I’m sorry to break it to you, but I don’t care if that girl dies. Y/n needs me, how long do we have to wait?”

“S-sorry, but help will be there 20 minutes tops”

Jaehyun didn’t even said thank you or good bye to Mark. He just ended the call and took care of you because you passed out already. Jaehyun was panicking already and more than furious that he shot Jeno’s dead body a few more times to release his anger towards him.

When you finally wake up, you see Jaehyun beside you sleeping. You figured maybe he didn’t even got the chance to rest from last night.

This mission was more than fucked up. You failed. Jaehyun failed. All because you finally have a weakness now, and it’s Jaehyun. This is bad you thought.

By the time you’re all well and ready to go home, you thought that Jaehyun will go home with you and tell every truth to Chanyeol together. But no. He needed to stay behind because he needed to fix his own mess for you and for him. You could have helped him but you’re too weak at the moment.

When you came back, Chanyeol was beyond furious, he told you ugly truths… that made you force yourself to the things you don’t like. Like, leaving Jaehyun.

“He didn’t tell you that the girl he was protecting secretly was his future fiance?” Chanyeol smirked, he didn’t want to hurt you either but he needed to tell you the truth for your own good. After all, you’re like a daughter to him.

“Are you really sure you love Jaehun?” you nod ‘yes’, of course. “What can you offer to him? Cant you see it? You two are not perfect for each other, he’s a son of a powerful man. Who are you y/n?”

And that hurt you.

“Have you ever imagined stepping into Jaehyun’s real world? You have to understand that you two are not meant for each other,”

He was right. “Good thing Jaehyun’s father never heard of your relationship. He wanted you to work directly with him. Take this as a chance to redeem your last mission. And try to forget about Jaehyun while you’re away”

And just after Chanyeol talked to you, Jaehyun just arrived in 127 house, wearing the biggest smile on his face. Hoping for a welcome back kiss perhaps. But you avoided his touch.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, you don’t know where to begin but he already knew that Chanyeol a;ready brainwashed you, “Chanyeol is good at brainwashing Y/n, you know that”

“But that doesn’t mean that the things he told me aren’t true. I’m sorry Jae— it was childish. What we did was childish,”

“I can’t believe I’m fucking hearing this. AFTER EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED IN NEW YORK Y/N?!” He shouted.

“I’m sorry,” is all you could say before turning your back on him.

Maybe life is punishing your for all the lives you’ve taken without mercy.

You’ve been far from home way too long now… you’re long forgiven for what happened to New York now.

At this point you don’t even know if what happened between you and Jaehyun was true or was it all just a dream or a fantasy made up. You don’t even have one single proof that you and Jaehyun shared something special there. You only have this heartbreak that you’ve been carrying for years, ever since you left.

Given that you’re Mr. Jeong’s favorite assassin, you work tirelessly whenever he puts you on schedule. You’ve been assigned to be close to him and became his personal bodyguard, and go whenever he goes, and kill whenever he says so. Mr. Jeong is very busy man, he flies in and out of different countries and you alone is responsible with his safety for the whole time… well, you and other unnamed bodyguards that are foreign. But most of your days are spent on the Jeong’s skyscraper building. You just stand all day, everyday outside Mr. Jeong’s office and guard it.

But by the time Chanyeol made you come back and put you on a field mission, you’ve never been so happy and excited to kill someone after so long.

“I love seeing your smile Y/n,” Jaehyun welcomes you back with a hug, together with the others, “But you wont like this mission,” Jaehyun warns you.

He talks to you like nothing happened. Like he wasn’t the reason why you were away from this home for far too long. You’re not mad at him. You’re just surprised on with how well he’s been and that’s the only thing you want him to be. Happy.

While Mark is explaining what is what and who is who, you can’t help but think that Jaehyun was right with his warning earlier.For years and years of killing, this has been the hardest mission for you. It was as if you are looking for a ghost who kills people and you’re almost hopeless with this mission.

Hendery.

There are six Phantoms, Yangyang, Winwin and Xiaojun are all dead. And Hendery was the one assigned to you, while Ten and Kun are both hard to find because no one knew their faces. No one knew what Hendery looks like either, but Mark just so happens to know that he will have business in Hongkong on new year’s eve. That’s all the information he could give to you, because that’s all the information he has about Hendery.

The Phantoms are very rich chinese men who has many successful business around asia. They’re powerful because they kill every competition they have, and they kill strictly for business and because of business. Business is everything with the Phantoms. And that’s the difference between the Jeongs and the Phantoms, the Jeongs kill for protection.

Rumor has it that the Phantoms wanted to buy every business that the Jeongs own. And that is where the war started between them.

“This time I really want you to be careful,” Jaehyun came out of nowhere while you were packing your things.

“Privacy Mr.,” you joked, “I know your family owns me, but you don’t own me, yet.” you teased him, you were talking about him being the big boss someday. He just laughed and crossed his arms. He always looks nice in black with his golden ring, the only token he had from his mom, its like an I.D for him… so that people around this house will not forget that he’s still a Jeong.

“When I killed Yangyang, the kid almost fooled me” he started and sat down your bed, “It was a loud kill, I almost fucked up”

“That sounds like a joke, you never do loud kills ” you stopped packing and sat down with him.

“He knew who I was… barely came out of his house alive” Suddenly the air in your room became cold… this has never happened to Jaehyun before. “They’re all jokers Y/n, they know us”

That night, Jaehyun didn’t want leave your bed. You couldn’t sleep either, you just miss how his warmth can calm you and make you feel safe. He didn’t want to bombard you with words like “I miss you so much…” and tell you the things he has been doing while you were away. You have so little time together, and all he can do it show you how much he still feels for you.

So he bravely kissed you.

And you kissed him back.

For a few minutes it felt right. Like you two were back in New York in that small little apartment. His kisses were sweet and inocent, his hands were all over you but on the right places, like while he intertwines his hands with yours and how he cups your face only to hold you closer. But when you two stopped and realized that this will get you two into trouble again. He let you turn your back against him.

And theres nothing he could do and did not protest.

He pulled your duvet and made sure youre warm tonight, kissed you one last time on your head and left your room.

He still loves you. And that fact alone made you cry to sleep, because you still love him too.

When you left for the mission, it was already loud and red all over Hongkong. Mark still has no further information about Hendery which makes you even more nervous. “Calm down, just read the room and trust your hunch” Mark said through your earpiece.

“What if I kill the wrong guy Mark? Are you going to take responsibility-” but Chanyeol had the line even before you could finish.

“Can you please calm down? Hendery is within the area already because his bodyguards are spotted… but still no visual on the target,” you sigh at what Chanyeol said, “Maybe Mark is right, read the room. It’s not hard to find someone who looks rich and has an army of bodyguards around”

“Okay. Fine. I’ll move on my own since you two are so useless”

You removed your earpiece and put it in your purse.

You were ordered to just watch him during the event and go for the kill when the clock strikes 12 and the whole country will be so loud. You were having a hard time looking for him at the moment, who would have thought that it would be this hard. You drank your frustrations away, shot by shot. Until you’re becoming light headed and a little tipsy already. You can’t go home with a failed mission. Agin.

During the celebration, you noticed someone who’s really handsome and really attractive… actually, his family is so loud, you figured he was celebrating with his beautiful sisters and their kids. The room was not hard to read, they are just a normal family that will be in shock by the chaos you’re about to do later. Poor kids you thought.

The kids were all cute, wearing colorful dresses, very energetic… it makes you dream about having your own someday. Will you have a daughter? A son? whatever it is, you will your kid with all your heart.

Then suddenly… One of the kids approached you with a glass of water.

What if… the water was poisoned. What if Hendery sent her?

What on earth are you thinking Y/n? She’s a sweet kid.

“My uncle thinks you need a glass of water,” she whispered and gave you the class… before the so called uncle finally approached you.

Of course he knew you already. He knew beforehand that someone will try to kill him tonight because he has been attending funerals of his friends lately. But he did expect you. And by the time you and Hendery finally faced each other during new year’s eve in Hongkong, he fell in love with you.

“It’s amazing how little human beings can have a power to us all” you smiled watching him.

“Well those human beings can be little monsters too and can really dry up my wallet fast” he joked and sat beside you.

One last look around to check if you still have any luck for Hendery… but looks like… today, is really not your day.

For the whole night, you and that stranger talked and talked. Luring you into saying what your heart truly desires. He became your first friend outside your job as a killer, which is basically a sin and you could be punished for this. He made you feel like a normal person.

At 12am, Hendery was still a no show. So instead, you enjoyed your time for yourself.

Hendery let you play with his nieces, you two danced and talked and drink until you’re drunk enough to even remember your purpose. And by the end of the night, he bought a suite so you two could talk somewhere quiet.

But it’s not what happened. It was intimacy in bed… that’s what happened. Good thing you weren’t actually clueless in this game so you get to satisfy him. But what really counted as a memory that night was the way he talked to you about freedom. Like he knows you already, like he’s trap somewhere too… like you.

“While I was looking at your nieces earlier, I can’t help but think about my own future. Someday I want someone to drain my energy with how they drained ours earlier,” Hendery laughed at that fact, her nieces are all full of energy and you were both really tired playing with them.

“I want to have a life,” you added.

“Me too,” he said.

“Hmm. What troubles you,” you asked while you play with his hair.

“I may look like a prince but I’m swimming in debt, I need to pay up. That’s how I could have a life,”

It was too much private information in one night, you thought so you stopped asking questions and just lured him to have more sex with you. By the time you pass out sleeping on his chest, he thought…

He could easily kill you with one swift move right now. But no.

The moment you wake up, he’s gone and left you a note.

You can kill me anytime. Come find me again. - Hendery.

And it was more than a frustration to you. You stare at the note that smelled like garden rose. You were more than angry and mad but you couldn’t let it out because your mind was busy searching for clues from last night… but then again, you remembered what Jaehyun said.

Yes, it was a failed mission. But theres a part of you that was actually happy that it failed. You can’t kill him in front of his family and his loving nieces. It will just plant trauma to them. And you can’t be the one who caused that.

You came home from a failed mission. Chanyeol was beyond disappointed to you. Again. Not only you failed the mission, but you broke one of the rules. “You befriended an enemy Y/n. How could you kill him in the future now? What will you feel if you heard the news that Taeyong successfully killed your friend? — you also had sex with him. I am out of words…” "Well, at least it wasn't Jaehyun right?"

It was silent in his office for a slow minute. You knew everything you did was wrong and you have nothing to blame.

“You’re on schedule for three months, no rest days and no holidays,”

By the time you and Chanyeol are done talking, Jaehyun was waiting outside. You figured he heard everything.

“I think this Hendery guy fell in love with you. god y/n you’re so stupid when it comes to shit like this” Jaehyun said, he sounded jealous, of course he was. But even so, he brought you apples because you missed dinner.

“Like what?” you said as you munch the apples he gives you.

“Like when someone is showing you bold signs that they like you” Jaehyun continue to munch the apple. You were quiet because maybe he’s right.

“I like you. Cant you see it?”

I’m well aware Jae. But you didn’t say that. You didn’t want to talk about your relationship tonight. You can’t get Hendery out of your head. “Hendery is different-“ is all you said.

Jaehyun scoffed, “Of course you’d say that. What you like him too?” the change of his tone bothers you already.

“Hendery is different because he opened the Pandora’s box for me. He had nieces, cute nieces Jae. And I spent time with his family that is super sweet,” you tried to explain nicely, but he keeps on pushing you.

“So you do like him?” theres a part of him that is envy and jealous that Hendery was the one who got to opened that “pandora's box” for you.

“No Jae. I don’t like him. I only love the things he made me experience that night. To have family, to be able to play with kids, to dream for my own… to dream of my own freedom,”

And then there it is.

Jaehyun stopped himself from talking because he knew this conversation could turn into a fight. He also realized, that Hendery showed you different things, a different angle in life that he can’t give you. For now. His father adopted you to be an assassin, and caged you in the world of killings.

Jaehyun was quiet and all he could do was hug you and calm you down. But you pushed him. Hard. And made him leave.

Thank you so much for reading this work of mine! If you love what you read, please leave something in my inbox and tell me how you feel! CLICK THIS LINK. I hope we can practice, give and take.

Stay tuned for the next part! -B.

#nct smut #jaehyun smut #nct scenarios #nct imagines #jaehyun #nct #jaehyun angst #jaehyun nct #nct 127 smut #jeong jaehyun #fmk #jaehyun fluff #reader x jaehyun

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yayakoishii · 1 year ago

Text

Type | Sanji x Reader

Fandom: One Piece

Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Genre: Angst with Happy Ending

Warning(s): Alcohol consumption, drunken confessions

Inspired by: Your Type by Carly Rae Jepsen

Summary: You know you're not Sanji's type. Yet you also can't bring yourself to get over him. Consoling yourself with alcohol doesn't go as planned...

A/n: I'm done with Sanji fics, I say. Then I proceed to write a Sanji fic because I'm so in love with this boy it's ridiculous. Apparently all it takes is one reminder of why I love him and I'm a puddle for him again. Probably why a lot of my fics have so many compliments for him. I always want him to know how amazing he is hahaha~

also available on ao3!

The big bonfire had plunged everyone in a golden and orange hue, the warmth in the atmosphere lingering from the aftermath of another island successfully saved (and destroyed) by the Straw Hat crew. In one corner, Sanji was flirting with some girls, who were looking at him shyly and hanging on with great interest.

Somehow, it didn't feel as good as always. The blonde chef found his mind instead conjuring up your sweet smile and a giggle. Flirting with you was different. Somehow, it was the only time he felt giddy now-a-days. It was weird, but Sanji wasn't an idiot to not understand what it meant.

He knew he was falling for you and yet, he was also aware that his heart had chosen an impossible target. You were the most kind, generous and sweet person he had ever come across– and there was no way you would ever look at him as a potential partner. Sanji knew that, his brain knew that, but his heart was adamant. It has chosen and it refused to let go.

Giving up to its whims again, the chef excused himself from the ladies, who looked disappointed and tried to make him stay but he gently refused by giving some excuse and a compliment. Feeling eyes on him, Sanji looked around to find you shooting him a glare. It startled him, especially when he noticed the glass of alcohol in your hand.

You hated the bitter taste of alcohol. You never drank it and always refused it so what could have made you drink today? Sanji couldn't understand but he found his feet making way towards you the moment you swayed where you sat. His hands found purchase upon your shoulders when he was close enough and he steadied you such that you were leaning against his stomach.

You inhaled deeply, almost like you were taking in Sanji's scent, and it made a shiver run down his back.

"Sanji…" Your voice was a mere whisper in the din of the party but somehow, it reached Sanji's ears. "Take me home."

Home meant your room in the Thousand Sunny, a place Sanji had never stepped foot in. He had, at times, escorted you to the door but never went in and you had never offered either– it seemed like he would intrude on your personal space if he ever asked.

"Of course," he said quietly, carefully helping you to stand up. You never drank, but now that you had, Sanji wasn't sure if you had drunk too much or if you were a lightweight because you nearly collapsed again, giggles bubbling up your lips.

"My legs feel like jelly," you slurred towards the end, putting all your weight on Sanji, who easily held you up as you tried to straighten up. "Jelly… Milk pudding… ah, your milk pudding the other night was so good, Sanji."

"I'm glad to hear that, sweetheart," he patiently let you struggle for a while before you gave up and looked at him with tears in your eyes. Your mood swings were extreme when you got drunk, apparently. "How about I carry you back, my love?"

"Would you?" You peered up at him through your wet eyelashes and Sanji wanted to kiss your tears away. Even while crying, you were somehow the most beautiful sight with your adorable red nose, the flush of alcohol making your ears and neck and cheeks warm, droplets sticking to your eyelashes.

Without a word, he picked you up like you weighed nothing in a princess carry, and you squeaked at the sudden dizziness. Your arms automatically came to circle around his neck and Sanji hoped that you wouldn't be able to hear his heart hammering at such a close distance. You were pressed against him, and he could feel you– it was too much for his heart and he really didn't want to let you know how much of a big fat crush he had on you, lest it embarrassed him in front of you.

To you, he always wanted to appear like a cool, suave and charming guy. And yet, when you were around, he always ended up fumbling or stuttering or messing things up. The effect you had on him drove him crazy.

"You're so cool," you murmured, your lips tickling his collarbone from where they were pressed. "Your hands are always cold, did you know that, Sanji?"

"Yes," the chef smiled to himself, watching you draw hearts with your finger on his shirt. You were pouting again. "Is everything alright, love?"

"Mm?" You looked up at him, eyes wide and glossy.

"You never drink," Sanji gestured his head back towards the party, which was now quite a distance away that the noise had dwindled down. In the silence of the night, the moment felt all too personal and intimate. "Did something happen?"

"I got tired," you whispered, pausing from drawing hearts. You looked away, warm tears running down your cheeks. "It's been a bit hard these days. Love is hard, Sanji."

Sanji's heart skipped a beat at the last sentence. You were in love?

"I know I shouldn't," you continued on, no longer looking at him but at the starry sky above you, "that my feelings will just ruin everything. I know I'm not his type, and I know he will never look at me the way I want him to. I know he will only ever see me as a friend at most but God, if I just didn't love him as much I do. I want to do so many things with him, for him, to him– I want to be by his side and love him."

"He is a very lucky man," Sanji's mouth felt dry as he spoke. The food he had eaten suddenly seemed to want to come out the way it had come in and Sanji was sure that the only reason he hadn't puked yet was because you were in his arms. You, who were in love with some other man. Probably someone from the crew. (Was it Zoro? Sanji never actually hated the guy, despite his claims, but he felt like he really might resent him a little if the mosshead was the one receiving your affections.)

"Is he?" Your voice wavered. "He won't ever look at me that way. It kills me when I see him with other girls because I know he will never see me beyond a comrade because that's just how it is. I'm not, I'm not the type of girl he would fall for."

"He must be blind then," Sanji said loudly. You had reached the Sunny and got onto the deck, but he simultaneously wanted this conversation to end and not end. Who was it you liked? Zoro didn't flirt. Was it Ussop? He sometimes fooled around. "To not notice you, to not, to not realise your value." To not realise that he was a lucky bastard who got your love when Sanji would do anything for it. Anything. "W- Who…"

Sanji swallowed the lump in his throat before trying again.

"Who is he?"

You didn't answer for a few seconds. He tried to gauge out your reaction and found that you looked angry. Your mood swings were really extreme.

"I hate you," you hit Sanji's chest without any real power in it. The words were like a slap to Sanji, who looked at you heart-broken. You were angry, but you were still crying. "I wish I could mean that. I wish I could look at you and not constantly feel so in love with you. I wish you were mean or horrible or a jerk so I could get over you but you're, you're kind. You're sweet. You treat me like I'm the most precious and important person to grace the earth. You comfort me and you hold me and you flirt but never force anything on me. You're a gentleman, you're caring and I see you. I see who you are and I fall in love. I'm sorry, Sanji, I love you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for ruining everything, for taking advantage of your kindness, but I can't make it stop. I can't–"

You sucked in a deep breath, scratching at Sanji to let him let you down. The chef did so, too shocked to say or do anything else.

"I can't look at you and not love you, Sanji," you whispered, eyes reflecting a broken and sad look. "I'm sorry I love you."

For a few seconds he didn't know what to say, brain trying to catch up with everything you had said. Him. You loved him. Not someone else, him.

You seemed to take his silence as your answer and turned around to leave but Sanji panicked and tugged at your hand, making you bump into his chest. His hands came around you in a circle, holding you with a desperation he didn't know he had in him.

"Don't be," he said breathlessly, feeling winded from the rush of his own feelings and thoughts. "Don't be sorry for making my dream come true, not when all I have wanted is for you to love me back. And don't be sorry for entrusting your heart to me. I swear, sweetheart, if you would let me, I'll take so good care of it. I'll never let you regret it. So please, give me your heart. Because I already gave you mine without either of us knowing."

You chuckled, the daze of having your love returned making everything feel unreal. You turned around and got on your tiptoes to press a soft kiss against his lips.

"Silly boy, it was always yours to begin with."

Sanji's heart was still hammering as he looked at you giving him a sweet smile and pulling him into a hug. You stayed like that for a few minutes, just the two of you under the stars on an empty ship, swaying lightly to inaudible music. A few moments passed before Sanji realised that your breath was evened out– you had fallen asleep in his arms.

That made him laugh, looking at your peaceful and smiling face burrowed in his chest, right next to his heart. Remembering what you had said before, Sanji carefully tucked a lock of hair behind your ear, and pressed a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"Then silly girl, you should know you were always my exact type, to begin with."

°•❀•°

Taglist:

all likes, comments, reblogs are appreciated ♡

#one piece #one piece imagines #one piece fanfic #one piece fanfiction #vinsmoke sanji #vinsmoke sanji x reader #sanji x reader #one piece x reader #black leg sanji #op sanji #gender neutral reader #every sanji fic i write is just me trying to put my feelings for him into words

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icypopz · 1 year ago

Text

caught in 4k ♡

↬ request from anon ; I love your writing for blue lock and i was wondering if you could write a Rin x actress reader when they're adults and they get caught by the media somehow. ↬ notes ; itoshi rin x gn reader ↬ from ice ; pretends like i haven't been gone for months... anyways here's my grand comeback that literally no one asked for but this req was so cute i rlly wanted to write it 🥹 hope u enjoy ! ↬ warning(s) ; none

please reblog w comments ! it helps a lot :)

itoshi rin has always been a private person. he rarely shares anecdotes from his life with his friends, let alone the paparazzi. his fans constantly complain that they're starved for content, because despite the fact that he's one of the most famous football players in the world, he somehow manages to keep his schedule entirely under wraps and often downright refuses to do interviews. (the only way to get him on camera is to invite him for a joint interview with sae.)

his tendency to keep his personal life a secret is exactly why it comes as such a shock when it's revealed that he's dating you.

actually, 'revealed' is the wrong word to use when in reality, the both of you were spotted leaving a popular restaurant together by a pesky journalist. he snapped pictures of rin holding your hand, offering you his jacket, opening the car door for you... and the next morning they were all over the internet, splashed across the front page of all the major news websites. #itoshi rin is in a relationship?! was the number one trending topic for days.

the amount of attention showered upon the two of you is actually unsurprising, considering how you've been at the peak of fame ever since you recently took on a role that went viral. pair that with the fact that you're dating the most mysterious football player? it's a miracle they didn't hear about it in space! both your fanbases were gushing about how adorable you are together and they're always eager for crumbs of interaction between you two in public.

in private, rin groans and grumbles about how annoying it is to have a spotlight shining on your dating life, but he's secretly happy that you both don't have to hide your relationship anymore now that it's out in the open. he likes the idea that everyone knows he's yours, and you're his.

in public, he's as aloof and cold as ever to every enthusiastic interviewer that dares cross his path. the only time he visibly softens is when they mention you, and a hint of a smile will curve his lips. rin gets angry if they even imply that you're leeching off his fame, or you're a gold-digger, or you're trying to get close to his brother through him - he never fails to set the record straight immediately. the two of you love each other, and maybe these journalists' time would be better spent trying to find someone to love them instead of trying to ruin someone else's relationship. (his pr manager is at her wits' end).

overall, rin is not too bothered by the fact that your relationship ended up becoming public knowledge. of course he would have preferred it to be on both of your terms, but now that it's happened he just rolls with it. as long as you're happy, he's happy.

help i swear i'll be active now HAHAHA i won't disappear for a year again ,,, and btw i cannot believe my last post was over a year ago tf

✧ thank you for reading ! if you have a request, feel free to send it in 🌠 © icypopz 2023. do not repost or modify in any way.

#[ my writing — ! ]#[ blue lock — ! ]#blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #itoshi rin x reader #rin itoshi x reader #blue lock fluff #itoshi rin fluff #itoshi rin x you #itoshi rin #blue lock

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buckyalpine · 2 years ago

Note

Hello, first I would like to say that I love your writing and it normally makes me really happy while I am at some boring classes at college, so thanks for that hahaha ❤️

Also, I saw your requests are open and since I am absolutely obsessed with your angst for bucky, I am here to request some.

My idea would be something like this: reader has been in the compound with the avengers for a while now and besides really caring for the team, she has some problems being more open with friendships and relationships in general, cause of some insecurities with her personality, but in somehow she feels really comfortable with Bucky and they are kinda of great friends?

And then she's just waking by the compound looking for him one day and she hears him speaking something bad about her? Something about how he feels like she's overwhelming him cause she just has him as a friend and no one else and it kinda makes her look for him a lot for comfort ( I actually have no idea what he could be speaking, so this is just an idea but it could be anything, really) maybe this could actually be a misunderstanding and he did not meant in that way? I would love if it had a lot of angst and a happy ending, but of course is up to you!

YES I live for miscommunication and comfort and this type of angst, this concept is everything!!

warnings: Angst, miscommunication, idiots in love/ friends to lovers, plenty of fluffff

"Hey sugar plum" You smiled, plopping beside Bucky on the couch while he scrolled through Netflix documentaries with a large bowl of m&ms in his lap. "Whatcha watching"

"Haven't decided yet, pick something Jellybean" He handed you the remote and candy bowl, throwing his arm around the back of the couch while you got settled in and flicked through the selection of tv shows.

"Of course" Bucky snorted, shaking his head with amusement as Unsolved Mysteries started to play. You grinned, comfortable nestled against his side while the rest of the team joined one by one; Sam swiped a handful of chocolate from the bowl only to have Bucky swat at his hand like a cat.

"Get your own candy pigeon pants"

"What, y/n gets some but I don't" Sam scoffed in fake offence while Bucky shrugged, throwing one at him.

"Well you're not y/n" Bucky shrugged while you felt your heart flutter. You loved everyone with your whole heart, you really did, but no one else made you feel safe the way Bucky did. Being around him felt like being constantly wrapped in a thick fluffy blanket. Ever since you had joined the team, you struggled to fully be yourself around everyone.

Not that anyone treated you differently; but being surrounded some of the strongest and most brilliant people on the planet gnawed at your insecurities. Steve was a sweetheart, Nat was incredibly skilled and drop dead gorgeous, Tony could charm his way out of just about anything. Everyone had something that made them exceptional and then there was you. You tended to be on the quieter side, fueled with self doubt over if you actually brought anything to the team.

Were you really all that interesting?

What did you really add to the group?

Did anyone even notice your presence when you were around?

Even if they did, did it make a difference?

You'd overthink your way into a quiet corner wondering why you were the way that you were. No one else could see the way you'd worry yourself into a ball of self-doubt, figuring you were just shy and they didn't want to mistakenly push any boundaries.

Then there was Bucky.

Being around Bucky was different.

Something about him was warm and welcoming. He didn't hesitate to pull you out of your hiding spaces around the compound, making sure you joined for team events and game nights. Any insecurities you had always melted away when you were around him because he made you feel special.

Made you feel wanted.

The night went by with everyone sharing their own conspiracy theories over what they think actually happened at the end of each episode while you stayed tucked by Bucky's side. Neither of you had any plans on calling it an early night, while the rest of the team eventually all went to bed as you switched to a new show.

"I'm going to grab more snacks, want anything sugar plum?" You were about to make your way to the kitchen when Bucky placed his hand on your thigh, making you stay seated.

"I'll get it, tell me what you want Jellybean" He shook his head, grabbing the throw blanket and tossing it over your legs so you'd be comfy for the rest of the night while he went to grab the snacks. You didn't have to actually say anything, Bucky knew exactly what you wanted. He came back with half the kitchen raided on a tray along with a beer, pulling you to his side, letting you snuggle against his chest.

You let out a content sigh, unwrapping a chocolate bar while Bucky snuck a bite, the warmth of his body making it difficult for you to stay awake like you'd planned. You eventually fell asleep, waking up to find yourself tucked comfortably in your bed as the sun poured into your room, your body still wrapped in the throw he had covered you with.

You felt your body warm up at the way he was so gentle with you, having carried you to your room without making you stir the slightest. There wasn't anyone else you'd feel so comfortable around.

He was your safe space.

You found yourself hopping out of bed with more energy than usual, deciding to train in the morning instead of your late night workouts, if you were lucky, maybe you'd run into Bucky after his morning run. You made your way to the kitchen, smiling when you heard his voice, along with Sam's, the both of them bickering over something irrelevant as per usual. The closer you got, the more serious their conversation sounded making you wonder if something had come up with a mission

And then you heard your name.

You stopped half way, staying as still as possible part of you wanting to run back to your room while covering your ears, the other part of you curious to know what they were saying. You wanted to move but your feet were glued to the ground, your heart hammering out of your chest.

"How about y/n?"

"Uh y/n..." You could hear the hesitation in his Bucky's as he contemplated his next words, his tone irritated. "She's whatever. It's not like that"

"Meaning?"

"Uh. I don't know, she sort of follows me around everywhere, there's not a day I don't see her but its not like I ask to see her"

You blinked, your stomach starting to churn. Did you follow him everywhere? You did see him everyday but you didn't realize you were following him.

"I mean she's only that way with you, she's definitely not that comfortable with Steve or me" You could hear Sam trying to reason with Bucky but all he did was scoff, your heart wrenching further.

"Yeah. It's overwhelming"

You wanted to run, wishing you had stayed in bed for an extra 5 minutes, your body now hot, not from how safe he made you feel but from embarrassment. Of course he was overwhelmed with your clinginess, he didn't want to have to deal with a burden like you. He had so much of his own issues to deal with and then there was you.

Guilt started to cloud your mind as you thought about all the times you spent time with Bucky, staying by his side while he reassured you or comforted you. How many of those times were actually annoying for him, how many times did he wish you would suck it up and leave him alone instead.

"She's not really friends with anyone else on the team, I'm not sure why she hangs out with me specifically that much" He sounded even more irritated than before; the rest of the conversation a melted into dull buzz, your heartbeat thudding in your skull.

Your eyes stung, hot tears flooding your lash line at his words. Your bottom lip, trembled despite how hard you were biting down on it; your forced your feet to move, slowly backing away from the kitchen until you were far enough to run to your room. You slammed the door shut, instructing FRIDAY to soundproof the walls and turn away anyone that came by before breaking down into sobs.

All of your insecurities were dialed to 100 along with more being added to the list.

How did you not see how annoying you were being. You felt awful, embarrassed, confused.

Why didn't he say anything?

Of course he wouldn't, he probably felt pity for you. A grown adult woman who struggled to open up and still struggled with her personality. An absolute joke.

You let the day go by, too ashamed to face anyone, let alone Bucky. If he felt irritated, there was no doubt the rest of the team knew exactly how annoying he found you. You couldn't bring yourself to see any of them, deciding to skip both lunch and dinner instead while burying under the covers.

****

Bucky frowned when he didn't see you the whole day, his worries growing more when he didn't see you come by for dinner either.

"Where's y/n?"

"I checked on her during lunch but FRIDAY said she'd requested to be alone" Nat looked at Bucky, confused over how he, of all people, didn't know where you were.

"Aren't you both joined at the hip, how do you not know Barnes" Tony wiggled his eyebrow while Bucky rolled his eyes, too worried about you to retort to Tony's comment.

"I saw her once this morning in the training room but not after that. She seemed fine then" Steve had seen you that morning, happy to see you brighter when he had spoken to you, not missing your shy smile when he'd mentioned Bucky's name. "No one else saw her all day?"

Bucky was immediately out of his seat, making his way over to your room to see you, only to have FRIDAY respond instead.

"Ms. Y/l/n has asked that no one disturb her until further notice"

"For fucks sake" He mumbled, knocking at your door one more time.

"I'm sorry Sergeant Barnes, Ms. y/l/n has asked to be left alone"

Bucky was taken aback when he was tuned away; in the few times you had locked your door from everyone else he'd always been exempt from that list. Why didn't you want to see him either? He reluctantly made his way back, his mind now racing over what could have possibly happened from the night before to now.

****

You had managed to avoid Bucky the next few days, purposefully staying away from the areas you knew he'd be around and staying in your room for most of the day. Whenever he tried to speak to you, you'd find a way to escape the conversation, his words reeling in your mind, reminding you he found you annoying. Overwhelming. Clingy.

You couldn't understand why he was going out of his way to try and talk to you when you were trying so hard to stay away, your heart in pain not being able to spend time with the person you felt the safest with. Your mind made it impossible to get a wink of sleep; you made your way down to the kitchen for a late night snack instead. You grabbed a bowl of popcorn, turning the TV on to your favorite comfort shows needing a temporary distraction.

"Jellybean?"

Bucky made his way through the living room after a late night workout, his heart jumping when his eyes landed on you. He was by your side in an instant, not noticing the way you froze when he sat beside you.

"Hi James"

Bucky blinked, his name sounding foreign on your tongue.

He didn't like it.

Not one bit.

Since when was he James.

"Uh, is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine" You forced a smile, scooting over so you weren't sitting too close to him, your mind racing trying to find a way out of the conversation. Bucky could sense your discomfort but he had no idea why, his heart beating harder against his chest when he noticed your eyes shift, as if you were looking for a way to escape.

"Are-are you sure?"

"Yup!"

"Doll" He noticed the way your eyes continued to flick around the room, refusing to meet his. "Somethings bothering you"

"What makes you say that"

"I-you called me by my name-you never do that"

"What else should I call you" You avoided his gaze, fidgeting with a lose string on a cushion while Bucky felt his stomach drop.

Were you upset with him?

"You always call me sugar plum. Only you do" He shrugged sadly, his bottom lip jutting out into a pout. "You don't call me James"

"Oh" Was all you could muster, feeling your throat close up, hot tears threatening to spill from your lash line. You tried to turn away from him only to have him gently cup your cheek, tilting your chin to face him. His heart broke seeing your glassy eyes while you chewed your lip to keep from crying.

"Please tell me what's wrong, did I do something? Did I say anything?"

"No" You whispered, swallowing thickly, pulling away from him only to have him take your hands in his to keep you from running away.

"C'mon y/n, please?"

"I-I don't mean to follow you around and be so clingy. I'm just trying to give you some space Bucky" You tried to keep your voice steady, hanging your head so he wouldn't see the tears run down your cheeks. Bucky let go of your hands to cup your cheeks again, his thumbs wiping away your tears.

"Jellybean, what are you-

"I heard you talking to Sam" You spat, now annoyed that he was here trying to talk to you when he was the one who felt you followed him around. "I heard you tell him I'm always around you. That you don't even ask to see me but I'm there. I didn't mean to be so overbearing. I felt safe with you so I was closest to you, I didn't realize you felt like I was following you".

"Sweetheart, it's not overwhelming for the reasons you think"

"Then what else could it be Bucky? You could have told me you needed some space, I would've understood. I wouldn't have spend so much time hanging out with you-

"No! I like when you're around me Jellybean" Bucky almost sounded offended you'd suggest such a thing while you shook your head, sniffling.

"You don't have to lie to me-

"Y/n, no. I promise doll, this is just a misunderstanding, that's not that I meant when I was talking to Sam"

"Then what did you mean?" You whispered, confused over what else he could have possibly meant. Bucky felt butterflies in his chest, not fully thinking this through. Should he tell you what the conversation was about? Could it be worse than you thinking he didn't even like you when the truth was the complete opposite?

"I don't want to ruin our friendship if I tell you" Bucky suddenly looked scared, his eyes wide like a lost puppy, vulnerable and afraid. He sucked in a breath before speaking, inching a little closer to you. "Sam was asking about if I'm seeing anyone. He thinks I need to put myself out there"

Oh.

A sudden pang of jealousy hit your chest, the flinch in your face not missed by Bucky.

"He was suggesting..." He bit his lip, chewing it nervously before continuing. "He asked if there was anything between us. He thought maybe you liked me because we're always together" Bucky continued to look at you like a kicked puppy, his own emotions now all over the place. "I didn't think you did. At least not in that way but he kept saying there was something between us"

"It didn't sound like you liked me very much" You shrugged while Bucky frantically shook his head, mentally scolding himself. "I thought you found me too clingy"

"Never. You're never too clingy. M'so so sorry doll, I didn't mean for it to come out that way, you're the only person who I can spend the whole day with, I'm not comfortable around others like I am with you. I love when you come around looking for me. I guess a part of me was upset because Sam wasn't the first to ask me why we weren't together and ask if we were more than friends. I didn't think you'd like me and it's overwhelming for me because I feel so much and...well"

"and?" Bucky blushed, struggling to get the next words out while you anxiously waited for him to continue.

"and I really like you" He whispered, squeezing your hand in his while you shifted closer, letting him pull you onto his lap. His arms circled around your waist, holding you close to him both your hearts racing, his nose bumping against yours.

"You like me?" You felt your cheeks heat up when he nodded, his blue eyes shyly peeking up at you through his lashes.

"I like you jellybean. A lot"

"Even more than m&m's?" You felt him hug you together, your lips brushing against his.

"More than m&m's" He closed the gap between you both, pressing his lips to yours, kissing you sweetly as you gently carded your fingers through his hair. He kissed you until you both needed air, a dopey smile on his face while you snuggled into his chest.

"Does that mean I'm your sugar plum again?" He whispered hopefully making you giggle, kissing him deeply again.

"Always, my sugar plum"

"My jellybean"

****

"Fucking finally" Tony mumbled, his hair ruffled, stifling a yawn as he walked through the living room, grinning at you and Bucky sleeping on the couch.

"I told him" Steve rolled his eyes, snapping a picture of you both cuddled on the couch while Sam snorted, nodding in approval. "Took them long enough"

Tags: @glxwingrxse @hungryyeyess @sebsgirl71479 @beabutterfly987 @teambarnes72 @witchywhore @jamesbuckybarneswify @slutforsexyseabass @chrisdrysdale @littlemarvelmenfan @buggy14 @whimsyplaty92 @sergntbarnes @inkedaztec @pono-pura-vida @moonlightreader649 @brooklynscherry-z @elle14-blog1 @justsebstan @littlelightnings @psychomanniac-blog @happyt0exist @emmabarnes @bethyruth @matchat3a @cjand10 @getwellsoontana @cherryschaos @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @ashenc-blog @buckybarnessimpp @potatothots @goldylions @high-functioning-lokipath @morganemorganite-blog @kingfleury @peaches1958 @spiderman-stilinski @peaceinourtime82 @gublur @wintersmelodie @geeky-politics-46 @lolawassad @almosttoopizza @a-poor-gryffindork @alternativeprincess @buckycallsmeaslut @kamaria-sweet-writes @charmedbysarge @xnorthstar3x @kryoee7 @alina02 @gh0stgurl @polishprincess999 @jessybarnes @alltheficsiwant @chemtrails-club @eralen @perdidosbucky-yyo @clqrosmgc

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formula-nyoom · 6 months ago

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Hi! I’m currently recovering from a pretty bad hip injury and am doing physical therapy right now. PT’s been really hard and hurts my hip like hell, so I was wondering if you could maybe write about either a McLaren or Ferrari driver (your choice) who’s going through it after a hip injury and is just having a really tough time, but all of the drivers (especially Lando, Charles, Carlos, Oscar, and Daniel if that’s okay - I know it’s a lot hahaha) are there to reassure her and cheer her on.

If you don’t feel comfortable writing this, I totally understand! I hope you have a nice rest of your day/night! :)

A/N: Hope I did ok with this one. Midterms prevented me from working on this but I tried to finish this as soon as possible. Hope you enjoy it.

Realistically you should be grateful that you can still walk after the massive crash you went through in Jeddah. Well “walk” is a loose term. Having to go through physical therapy and making sure your hip heals properly, you’re not able to put any weight on your foot and have to use crutches to walk. The combination of that and the lingering pain has not made the recovery process easy. But thankfully, you were only the reserve driver for Ferrari, which means you didn’t have to rush your recovery.

“How are you feeling?” Charles asked as he packed your bag for the day while you laid on the bed in your hotel room. Him and Carlos had been helping you throughout the week with getting around the Australian circuit and you were very grateful for your fellow teammates' willingness to help.

“I don’t want to walk or move. I don’t want to go anywhere.” You said.

“I could carry you if you’d like.” Carlos said. You shook your head.

“And risk you pulling your stitches? You just got cleared to get back in the car and we both know Ferrari can’t afford to have Bearman drive right now.” You told him.

“Please at least let me carry your stuff or drive you to the track. I'm the whole reason you got hurt.” Carlos said.

“No you're not Carlos. It's my own fault I crashed.” You said. You could tell that Carlos felt guilty about you having to fill in for him and then crashing during the race, but you kept trying to reassure him that injuries like yours came with the job of being a race car driver. The only person to blame for your injury is yourself, not the teammate you were filling in for.

“But if my appendix didn't burst, you wouldn’t have been in the car.” Carlos said. Charles rolled his eyes.

“Ok, the two of you can assign blame all you want for the rest of the day, but right now, we have to get to the paddock.” Charles said. “(Y/N), I will help you get down to the car. Carlos, you can carry her stuff.”

Charles helped you get out of bed and get situated with your crutches while Carlos grabbed your bag and the two helped you get down to the hotel lobby.

~~~

You had barely made it past the paddock entrance and the fan barricades before everything started to hurt. You knew that navigating the paddock was going to be difficult but you didn’t expect to have to stop and rest everytime your hip decided to flare up with pain. You had already told Carlos and Charles to go ahead of you, not wanting to slow them down. They were hesitant to leave you behind, but you assured them that it’s better they make it to the team meeting on time than have them constantly wait for you.

“Hey (Y/N)! How are you doing?” You looked up from leaning on your crutches to see Daniel and Oscar approaching you. They seemed to be in high spirits with it being their home race.

“I’m doing ok. I’m trying to get to the Ferrari garage but I’m having some difficulty.” You said, motioning to your hip.

“Let me help you then. I’ll give you a piggyback and get you there in no time.” Daniel said.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to risk anything before your home race.”

“Nonsense. Plus it’s better than you having to walk all the way on crutches.” Daniel said with a smile that was hard to say no to you. You reluctantly agreed and handed your crutches to Oscar before climbing on Daniel’s back.

“C’mon, I’ll get you to the Ferrari garage.” Daniel said. Oscar followed you two and the three of you started conversing on your expectations for the upcoming race. You did admit to Daniel that the piggyback was much better than walking. Without the crutches, your hands were free to wave to fans as you passed and that helped improve your mood.

“Oh, (Y/N). My gran made these for the McLaren team and I grabbed you one as a get well soon gift.” Oscar said, handing you a nicely wrapped pastry.

“Aww, thanks Osc.” You said. You unwrapped the pastry and took a bite. It was delicious and you smiled.

“Oh my god. Oscar, can your gran send these to me every time I get injured? I can already feel my hip healing.” You said. Oscar chuckled.

“I’ll let her know you liked them. But promise me you won’t get injured just for the sake of my gran’s baking.” Oscar said.

“I promise.” You told him.

~~~

“What if I don't recover from this?”

It was late at night. You and other drivers were at a club celebrating Carlos’s win, but you had to step out to get some air.

“You will. And after you've recovered, you'll win the next race you're in. It's a basic guarantee now with Carlos’s win.” Lando said, who had decided to join you outside to make sure you were ok.

“I won’t be in another race for a long while. Either Charle’s appendix needs to burst or Kevin needs to get more penalty points for me to be in another race this season.” You said.

“Well with the way Magnussen drives, I think you’ll actually have a shot again this season.” Lando said. The two of you let out small laughs, knowing that statement was sort of true.

“I have to be fully healed before they let me get back into the car.” You said, your smile slowly dropping. “With how everything keeps hurting, especially after physical therapy, I can’t help but feel like that’s not a possibility.”

“Hey, look at me.” Lando moved your head so you could look him in the eyes.

“I know my words can’t automatically heal you, but I need you to know that this pain will eventually pass. You’ll heal, and you’ll get back in that car.” He said. He placed his arm around you and pulled you close to his side without trying to aggravate your injury.

“And when you do get back in that car, you’ll win that race. Proving that nothing can stop you.”

The smile returned to your face and you pulled Lando in for a hug.

“I can feel myself getting better already.”

#f1 x reader #formula 1 x reader #platonic grid x reader #charles leclerc x reader #carlos sainz x reader #daniel riccardo x reader #oscar piastri x reader #lando norris x reader

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makanidotdot · 8 months ago

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was looking through some of your old art and the nelf trio tags and saw you mention "But I s2g I can’t help thinking about if Illidan ends up being treated better overall by the narritive than Sylvanas I’m gonna hulk out or something" so i'm curious how you feel with where we are currently!

hahaha yeah, ok went back and found it- that was from the very beginning of BFA (it launched in August 2018 and this post was in November2018). So.. yeah I mean, today I think Illidan's treatment in game is easily one of the best- maybe the actual best in the whole series?? So it's a hilariously ironic thing to have hoped for. Like if I had said "oh boy, I can't wait to see what kind of character growth Varian gets!" at the beginning of Legion.

At the time I was thinking like, ok well Illidan was a villain that gets defeated in BC, but that obviously wasn't the end of his story, and he didn't die or lose who he was... then he got to come back and be a super fun main character of a successful expac.. surely they know how to use a very similar headliner big $$ character in the same way?

And then I basically just spent the next 5 years like

as Sylvanas just got ground to dust. And I feel like I did do lots of hulking out lmao.

That post was also the original senile Malf comic which I enjoy very much bc

How I draw Malfurion when I thought he was just a male power fantasy gary stu in a chemistryless pairing with Prize Woman that he randomly spoke rudely to that one time (but has funny wizard voice):

How I draw Malfurion now that I know he is a sweet nerd-himbo just trying his best and who blushes and cries over his wife

#malfurion #sry i have a type #it's called beifong's disease

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lxvemaze · 3 months ago

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Hi my love, i just saw the tall reader x skz and can you also do tall reader x ateez hcs please 🙏 they heal me hahaha

ahhh absolutely!!! i loved writing the skz ones!! hope you like these<3

ateez with a tall!s/o

pairing' ot8 x reader

genre' fluff

warnings' wee bit suggestive in wooyoungs

a/n' i felt silly

⚝hongjoong

he don't give a FUUUUUUUCK. your height difference was never something he took into consideration. even when you first started dating, he just didn't really think about it. that being said; if anyone ever tries to make fun of your height difference, he will shut it down IMMEDIATELYYYYYYY. you will not get a single second to be insecure about your height, bc he will always let you know how much he loves you 😚 doesn't matter how much shorter than you he is, he will always be big spoon. he wants you to know that he will always take care of and love you, no matter what comments or looks you guys get from others.

⚝seonghwa

while hongjoong doesn't really care, seonghwa LOOOOVES your height. he is sososo obsessed with you. he treats you like an actual angel. he will do anything and everything you ask of him. anytime anyone's like "lol your girlfriend's taller than you" he's like "yeah she is (●´ω｀●)" just absolutely enamored. he loves it when you wear heels so he has to crane his neck a bit to make eye contact with you. makes him all giggly :3 sometimes you two will be standing somewhere maybe in like, a line at a coffee shop or smth, and you'll look over to him and he's just staring up at you with the biggest heart eyes. he is just so in love.

⚝yunho

bro was absolutely SHOCKED when he first met you. he's already really tall, so meeting a girl that was taller than him???? made him feel all nervous and silly. when you first met, he probably didn't know if he was scared of you or really into you. you probably asked him out first bc you made him too nervous 🥹 in a relationship, he's probably soooo proud that his girlfriend is taller than him- like, he's just astonished that he bagged a taller girl in the first place. bro may be the sweetest boy in the world, but if anyone makes a negative comment about your height, he will FIGHT. no one can comment on his tall queen ☝️

⚝yeosang

yeosang sees you as the single most beautiful person in the world. he absolutely loves the fact that you're taller than him. this man is the biggest little spoon in the world- he loves being cuddled by you and feeling all safe and secure. tbh, i honestly think that your height was one of the first things about you that he was attracted to, and i don't think he expected that at first, but he's literally obsessed with you.

⚝san

i've said it before, and i'll say it again; san is the single most respectful and loving man on the planet. i don't think he ever expected to be into a taller girl, i think he always pictured himself with a girl shorter than him, but after he met you, all those thoughts of being with a shorter girl went straight out the window. as soon as he met you, he was obsessed with you and your height. literally refuses to let you be insecure. anytime you say one thing even slightly self-deprecating about your height, he will give you ten separate reasons why he loves your height.

⚝mingi

bro was whipped as soon as he met you. mingi may act like a freaky deaky fuckboy sometimes, but he is a loverboy at heart, ya'll. when you first met, he tried to act all cool and suave to impress you, but you saw right through him 😭 he's just so silly around you. he knows what it's like to be tall and that when you're tall, people see you as a lot scarier than you are, and he realizes that it's probably even worse for you being as tall of a girl as you are. so he tries his best to be as soft as possible, and treat you like a princess. will fight you so he can be the big spoon. he just likes to cuddle you and make you feel safe :3

⚝wooyoung

oh, you already know babygirl loves it. we already know that he likes to get bossed around 💀 so you being taller than him is really just the icing on the cake. absolutely obsessed with you. whenever you two are walking in public together, he will be attached to your arm the entire time with that smug grin on his face. he absolutely loves when he introduces you to people, and they're just kind of in shock at your height. side note- he loves reaching up to grab your face and pull you down into a kiss (◍•ᴗ•◍) he also loves to play fight with you, like, wrestle with you. and then pinning you down to show you that just bc you're taller than him and act like you're the lead in public doesn't mean that he won't put you in your place in private WHOOPS (he is never beating the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 allegations)

⚝jongho

real morticia and gomez vibes in this relationship. he literally worships you. he absolutely loves it when you wear heels omg, he just loves it when you embrace your height. he likes to buy you beautiful expensive heels and dresses and take you out for fancy dinners and show you off 😋 he's just so in love with you, literally no comment that anyone could make would make him think twice about how he loves your height difference. he likes to have a hand on your waist, or have you hold his arm when you're in public. bro loves his tall queen to the end of time and wants everyone to know that you're his💪

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oddinary4bts · 1 year ago

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hii i have an angsty drabble request for jk x reader pleasee but with a happy ending :)

Reader overhears Jungkook talk to his friends and mention how she’s always clinging on to him and doesn’t let him breathe sometimes and that she’s annoying because she’s too loud and energetic. When he comes back home she acts the complete opposite and tries to avoid him without letting him know what’s going on, until he realises that he actually prefers her clingy and loud🥺

Sorry if i went into too much detail

For some reason this was hard to write?? I hope it's still good and what you wanted to get <3

What's wrong? | jjk

☆pairing: Jungkook x reader

☆rating: 15+ (I use curse words a little too much for me to rate this PG 13 hahaha)

☆genre: slice of life!au, angst, fluff

☆warnings: unedited, alcohol, pet names, curse words, Jimin and Seokjin are sorta mean? but not really

☆word count: 2.8k

☆☆☆☆☆

You like hanging out with Jungkook. Like that he invites you whenever he goes to eat at his friends’ house, like how he just includes you in his life all the time. You want to be with him – always. You’re aware that it might be a problem, that you’re young and shouldn’t be spending your entire time with him, but still you’re at an age where you see yourself settling down, building a lifelong relationship.

And of course you want it to be with him.

You’ve been drinking a couple of beers with Jungkook and his friends Jimin, Taehyung and Seokjin. Jungkook is staying sober, as he’s the one driving tonight, but you’re two beers in and you have the biggest need to go to the bathroom. You’re sitting next to him, and a look to his profile has you smile dreamily.

You can’t believe you’ve landed the man of your dreams in your early twenties. You never thought you had luck in life, until you met Jungkook. So you don’t hesitate before pressing a kiss to his cheek, telling him that you’ll be right back.

You’re quick in the bathroom, already excited to be back by his side. You step out after having cleaned your hands, taking three steps towards the living room, but you freeze in your spot when you hear your name being said, followed by, “Is she always clingy like that?”

You’re pretty sure it’s Seokjin speaking. Then, “Doesn’t it get on your nerves?” This time you think it’s Jimin, and your previous joyful state slowly falls as you keep listening, even though you know you shouldn’t.

“Yeah,” Jungkook says flatly. “She’s always clingy. Sometimes I feel like she doesn’t even let me breathe.” Each of his words stabs through your heart, and you instinctively put a hand above the spot that aches as he continues. “I can’t even see you guys alone.”

You want to tell him he’s full of shit, because he’s the one that invites you all the time, but all you can do is listen.

“And she’s so loud too,” Jungkook continues, and it makes you wonder how long he’s been bottling up everything inside. Because it’s the first you’ve heard him complain about you, and it really doesn’t feel good. “She’s always moving, always speaking, sometimes I just want to tell her to stop.”

“Bro,” a voice says. Taehyung. “She just went to the bathroom, she might hear.”

From where you are you can even hear Jungkook’s sigh before he says, “Right. I don’t know, it’s just been a lot.”

His friends offer him words of reassurance that you don’t really listen to, Jungkook’s words just spinning in your mind. It takes a moment for the hurt to shift to anger, but when it does you clench your jaw, determined to make him regret saying that.

If he thinks you’re too clingy, you’ll offer him the exact opposite. So when you go back, stopping to grab another drink in the kitchen first, you sit on the other couch, next to Seokjin. Seokjin offers you a tight-lipped smile, and you try to smile as brightly as you can, ignoring Jungkook’s confused look as he stares at you.

You keep the act on for the whole evening. Even in the car, on the way home, you angle yourself towards the window, answering with ‘yes’ or ‘no’ or ‘I don’t know’ to whatever Jungkook says. The perfect picture of indifference.

When you get home, Jungkook asks you if you want to watch the episode of the anime you watch together that was released earlier today, and you tell him he can watch it without you.

“What?” he lets out, but you’re already strutting out of the room, moving towards the office where your PC gaming set-ups are.

Jungkook follows you, watching you turn your PC on, and when the monitor comes to life he leans against the doorframe.

You ignore him, putting your headset on. You type your password in, and then as the computer finishes turning on, you spare a single glimpse towards him. He looks like he wants to say something, but he remains silent.

When he figures that you’re really going to game, he moves to his own PC, turning it on as his tongue plays with his piercing. His eyes burn into your profile, but you keep on ignoring him, focusing on the Steam store page. You move to your collection, scrolling down as you search for a game to play. You settle on F1 2023, even though you usually never play alone, and as the game loads Jungkook speaks.

“Do you want to play together?” he asks. “We could play in multi…”

“No, all good,” you interject before he’s even finished his sentence.

Now, his tongue pokes at his cheek before he nods curtly. He chooses to play Overwatch instead, which doesn’t surprise you, and you sit in silence for about an hour, except the occasional curses he lets out because he keeps losing.

You don’t lose. You’re playing the storyline, which you’ve always found pretty easy, and you just enjoy the races, ignoring how your heart still aches from what Jungkook said. At some point, Jungkook curses loudly, and you glance at him once, an eyebrow cocked, before focusing on the race that is starting in your game.

When you finish it, you decide to call it a night, turning your PC off and pushing your chair back from your desk so you can get up. That attracts Jungkook’s attention, and he’s quick to ask, “Where are you going?”

You don’t even answer because, what would be the point of that? Instead, you go to your bedroom, where you retrieve a PJ and some clean underwear, and then you make your way to the bathroom. You close the door behind you, locking it even though you usually never lock the door. You take a quick shower, mostly to wash yourself before going to bed because you just can’t go to bed if you haven’t showered. You’re stepping out of the shower when the doorknob turns, though it blocks because of the lock.

“What…” you hear Jungkook mutter. And then a little louder, “Is something wrong?”

“No,” you reply.

You can tell he hasn’t moved from behind the door, though you busy yourself with doing your skincare. You’re putting your toner on when Jungkook speaks again.

“Why did you lock the door?” he asks, and he sounds whiny.

“I felt like it,” you say, voice just as flat as it’s been since you’ve heard him at his friend’s place.

He doesn’t like that answer. It’s clear as spring water, especially as he follows it with, “You can’t be serious”.

You cock an eyebrow even if he can’t see you, but don’t say anything as you finish doing your skincare. When you open the door to head to bed, Jungkook is still standing on the other side.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asks the moment you come into view.

You shrug. “Nothing. What’s wrong with you?”

He frowns, and that adorable pout of his appears on his lips. You don’t let it affect you – you can’t let it affect you.

“You’ve been weird since we left Taehyung and Jimin’s place,” he says slowly. His tongue pokes at his cheek, before swiping at his piercing. “Something is clearly wrong.”

You shrug your shoulder. “Nah, all good. I’m going to bed.”

He doesn’t stop you as you breeze past him, heading towards the bedroom. He does watch you go, and you almost turn around to tell him that you heard him and that he hurt you. But you decide to make him wait longer, because you can tell that he doesn’t like how you’ve been acting.

Oh, how the tables have turned.

You’re on your side of the bed, facing the wall and scrolling on your phone when Jungkook comes in, hair wet from his own shower. The mattress dips when he sits on the other side and you hear him sigh loudly.

“What’s wrong?” he asks once more. “You’ve been so weird… Did something happen?”

“No.”

You focus on your phone, even as he whines, “Don’t play the innocent game, baby, I can recognize when you’re mad.”

You sigh, loudly, and maybe exaggerating the sound a little. You do like your dramatics after all.

“Am I mad?” you ask, still not looking at him. “Do I have a reason to be mad?”

You can hear the frown in his voice when he says, “Clearly you do. But I’m a little lost.”

At that you turn on your back to glance at him where he’s sitting. He’s only wearing the boxers he usually wears to sleep, and it almost makes you forget all about what he said earlier. You hold on strong though, saying, “I thought you didn’t like me when I’m clingy”.

His mouth falls open as his gaze widens in recognition. “Oh,” he lets out. “You heard me.”

He deflates as you nod curtly, before turning your back to him again to focus on your phone. Mostly because the reminder suddenly has tears forming in your eyes, and it makes your heart ache in your chest uncomfortably.

“Babe,” he gently says. When you don’t turn, he presses, “Come on, babe, look at me”.

You’re stubborn. You don’t turn, don’t say anything. Just blink away the tears that are slowly winning against your will not to cry.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he says after a moment of silence, only interrupted by the sniffle you fail at keeping in.

“Whatever, Jungkook.”

He scoffs. “Don’t whatever me. And don’t call me Jungkook.”

It’s true. You usually never call him by his first name, preferring to call him Kookie.

“I’m really sorry you heard me say that,” he adds after you haven’t said a thing for almost a minute. “I’ve always found you clingy but… I don’t mind, babe, I promise.”

“It’s a little too late for you to say that,” you answer, and you turn off your phone, resting it face down on the bed so you can wipe the tear that’s escaped from your eye, tickling the bridge of your nose where it refused to fall.

“No, seriously,” he insists. “I really like when you’re clingy. I’m sorry if it came out sounding as if I don’t.”

“You complained about not being able to see the guys alone,” you point out. “As if you’re not the one to invite me all the time.”

He moves, and the bed shifts as he gets closer. He puts a hand on your arm, but you shrug off his touch.

“I do invite you all the time,” he says. “Because I want you to be there.”

“Didn’t sound like you want me to be there at all, Kookie.”

The nickname has him put his hand on your arm again, and this time you let him do it.

“I know, I realize that now,” he says carefully. “I’m really sorry I said that. You are clingy, that’s true, but it’s what I love the most about you.”

“What about me being loud?”

He hums, realizing that you’ve heard that part too. “I love your energy. Always makes me smile. It felt so weird tonight because you barely spoke.”

“Yeah…” you let out.

“It made me realize that the reason why I love you is because you’re loud and energetic and always trying to goof around. It can be a lot to handle for some people, but not for me.”

“Kookie…”

“I’m serious!” He pauses and when he pulls on your arm you let him turn you on your back. He bristles at the sight of your tears, quickly drying them. “Fuck,” he curses as he wipes your cheeks. “I’m so, so, sorry. I was so stupid.”

“You can’t say shit like that,” you tell him, and a new wave of tears hits.

“I’m fully aware,” he says as he blanches, showing you just how affected he is by you crying. “Please be clingy. Be clingy and annoying and never leave me alone.” He lies down to pull you in his arms, and you rest your forehead against his chest. “Be my favourite pain in the ass. I don’t want it any other way. I should have realized before.”

“But why did you say that in the first place?” you ask. “It was mean.”

“I know…” he trails off. It takes him a moment to collect his thoughts, but he soon says, “Honestly I think I just said that because I’ve been exhausted because of how busy it’s been at work. I attributed it to you, which was the dumbest thing I could do.”

“You have been busy,” you comment, because it's true. You've seen how it's affecting him.

“Yeah.”

There’s a silence, as he just runs a soothing hand on your back, pressing soft kisses on the top of your head once in a while.

“You know,” you eventually say. “If you want to hang out alone with your friends, you can. I really don’t mind not coming every time.”

“But I want you to be there!” he insists. “I really do, I promise.”

You sigh, nuzzling your face further into his chest. “Are you sure?” you mumble against his skin.

“Yes.” He presses another kiss to the top of your head, his grip tightening around you. “And now I’m going to be the clingy one because you scared me tonight.”

“Why?” you choke out as he holds you so tight you almost can’t breathe anymore.

He loosens his grip just a little, before saying, “I don’t know, I felt so awful after saying that. I think I realized right away that I actually didn’t feel like that at all and that I was just using you as a scapegoat because I didn’t want to speak about work with the boys.” He pauses, shifting a little so your head is resting on his chest now as he lies on his back. “And then you were distant all evening and I thought ‘that’s it, she’s going to break up with you, you stupid idiot’.”

For some reason, that makes you giggle against him.

“What?” he asks.

“I won't break up with you, but you really are a stupid idiot.”

You can almost hear him roll his eyes, though knowing him he probably has a teasing smile on his lips. “But I am your stupid idiot.”

“You are,” you answer, wrapping your arm around his waist so you can hold him close.

“I really am sorry I said that,” he says after another comfortable silence. “I should have spoken to you about it first. Saying it to the guys was low of me.”

You nod. “It was. But I’m not angry at you, I understand where you’re coming from. I do move a lot and speak a lot, so if you’ve been tired then it’s probably been a lot to handle.”

“But I love handling it, don’t take me the wrong way,” he says. One of his hands moves under your jaw, making you tilt your head back until he’s looking at you in the eyes. “I love your bubbly personality, it’s the reason why I started dating you in the first place.” He pecks the tip of your nose, before adding, “With you there’s never a boring moment. And I don’t want any boring moments in my life. I just want you.”

“Gosh,” you mumble, as you feel yourself blushing. “Why are you so cheesy?”

“You deserve it!” he exclaims, and you both laugh softly. “I’ll be so cheesy from now on you’ll hate me.”

“I don’t like cheesy,” you mumble in agreement, though the smile on your lips tells otherwise.

“Don’t care, you’ll get it anyway,” he teases, and he kisses your lips then.

His pink lips are infinitely soft. Always are, even in the middle of the winter. You don’t know how he manages to achieve that – your lips are chapped as soon as the weather is a little dry. But his are soft, always, and it feels like heaven to kiss him. The ache that was in your heart finishes dissolving then, as you focus on how his mouth moves against yours, how he sighs softly in the kiss.

And when you pull away, he presses another kiss to your forehead. “I love you, baby,” he says, lips moving against your forehead. “I’m so sorry I was a dick tonight. I won’t ever do it again.”

You nuzzle your face in his neck, pecking the mole he has there. He laughs, arm tightening against you.

“I accept your apology, Kookie,” you say. “But please don’t say stuff like that to your friends again. We can talk about it first.”

“I promise,” he says. “I’ll be the one to get on your nerves now, you’ll see.”

“You always get on my nerves,” you tease, just because you feel like being a little shit.

“Excuse me?” he asks, and you hear the pout in his voice.

“I love you too, Kook.”

Now it turns into a smile when he says, “That’s better.”

And the best thing is, it really is.

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haitherecaringmonke · 4 months ago

Text

NRC staffs meeting Lucille’s Pokemons

Dire Crowley - Klefki

“Miss Beaumont please tell your monster to give me back my keys !”

Moves: Astonish, Play Rough, Fairy Lock, Flash Cannon.

It can be said that Klefki is one of the strangest monsters that Crowley has ever encountered in his entire life.

While he expected monsters looking like animals, he never expected one to look like a key-chain.

Klefki, like many Fairy types, is rather mischievous. And like many of Lucille’s Pokemons, he greatly dislikes Crowley for all the bs the man had put his trainer through.

Since Crowley decks himself in keys, Klefki felt obligated to steal from him. And just pike any other Klefkis, this one will not let go of the keys he had stolen from the Headmaster.

One time while Lucile was out cold after a long day of doing Crowley’s tasks, Klefki stole one of her enclosure keys and unlocked the gate to a certain padlock.

Crowley’s screams can be heard all the way from RSA as he was being chased by Kleki, who is leading Tyrantrum right to the masked man.

Divus Crewel - Eevee

“What an adorable little pup, and to think you can become one in eight different forms when you grow up!”

Moves: Tackle, Swift, Baby-doll Eyes, Quick Attack

It’s no surprise that Crewel is a fashion icon with the most fabulous outfits, but at the end of the day, the man is still a designer, and a lot of times designers have art block.

This is not good for Crewel, so he went outside to get some fresh air, maybe drop by Ramshackle to see if he can came up with any ideas by seeing the Pokemons.

While the man is scrolling through Lucille’s PokeDex, Eevee came over to him and curiously sniffed his pant leg.

Crewel was quite curious of this little fox dog thingie, he had to admit that it was quite adorable. He was well behaved and let the older man pet him as he pleases.

It wasn’t until Lucille told him how Eevee can have 8 different evolutions did Crewel’s interest piqued.

Upon seeing the eight different Eeveelutions, his mind exploded with inspirations. He thanked Lucille, took her PokeDex and Eevee with him and left.

About a week later, Crewel (begrudgingly) returned a very pampered Eevee to Lucille. She did received some new outfits inspired by the Eeveelutions as well as outfits inspired by the Pokemons on her Main Team as compensation though.

Mozus Trein - Meowscarada (Puss)

“You know, you might be my favorite monster out of the bunch”

Moves: Flower Trick, Energy Ball, Fake Out, Dark Pulse

The first time Trein met Puss is when he wandered into the lecture hall on accident. The professor was about to leave when Lucius spotted the humanoid feline creature lurking behind the door.

Lucius, being somewhat territorial, attacked the poor Magician Pokemon, who could only dodge out of fear. Trein had to step in and intercept.

Despite the scuffle, Puss didn’t stop visiting Trein every chance he get to show off some of his magic tricks and the poor man doesn’t understand why.

It wasn’t until later on when he asked Lucille why Puss keeps visiting him, turns out Trein and Lucius reminds Puss of Lucille’s father and his old and aggressive Purrloin. Trein felt honored at the statement, as for Lucius, it might take a while for him to finally warm up to the Magician Pokemon…

Ashton Vargas - Aqua Breed Tauros (Fernando)

(There’s no gif of Aqua Breed Tauros so please have this gif of regular Tauros instead)

“Hahaha! You have raised quite a fantastic beast Beaumont!”

Moves: Horn Attack, Zen Headbutt, Raging Bull, Aqua Jet

It all started when Lucille asked Vargas if she could have some of her Pokemon out so they could let out some steam instead and the man happily agreed, claiming the more the merrier.

So Lucille let her Pokemon out, mostly the ones that are active and have lots of energy to burn, with Fernando being one of them.

Fernando, other than running with the other Pokemon, also had another mission being chase after some of the students that are slacking off when Vargas wasn’t paying attention.

It worked very well since nobody wanted to be ran over by a water bull.

Fernando received some hearty pets from Vargas while his trainer received a pat on her back (that almost toppled her over)

Sam - Runerigus

“What do you say fellow ghost? Would you like to help me out at the shop?”

Moves: Shadow Ball, Earthquake, Shadow Claw, Rock Slide

Sam first meet Runerigus when he wandered into Sam’s shop on accident because he was curious about the presences he felt coming from the shop.

Had it not been for his friends on the other side, Sam would have thought the Pokemon is a statue/mural of some kind and he might have accidentally sell him to someone.

Sam enjoys Runerigus’ company and vice versa. Runerigus is also very careful with navigating around Sam’s shop as to not damage anything (because Lucille can’t exactly afford to pay for the damages)

Runerigus offers Sam his help whenever the man lets him stay around his shop. As a few unfortunate students have discovered that Runerigus is very good at spotting thieves.

#twst x pokemon #twisted wonderland x pokemon #dire crowley #divus crewel #mozus trein #ashton vargas #twst sam

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edvinception · 9 months ago

Text

Transcript of Edvin's radio interview

This is nowhere near perfect and not a word by word translation. BUt it took me over 2 hours so...

You owe me hahaha

Some discussions of season 3 and minor spoilers but nothing huge.

I: Edvin Ryding, it will soon be time for the third season of Young Royals, that's why we are here to talk about that among other things. I just have to start off- you arrive here blonde and with what looks like a racing jacket in orange, red, beige, lots of colours.

E: Yes, I like it, I bought it this weekend when I was in Paris and walked past a Second-Hand Store where I found it and thought it was cool. There’s something a bit cool with stark colours and logos and with the blond hair. I’m at a phase where I need to experiment a bit I think.

I: Yeah, because as Wilhelm in young royals you don’t, Wilhelm doesn’t want to stand out.

E: In particular it’s the way he’s been raised. He is told what to wear and how to style his hair, how long his hair is allowed to be. You should look the part so to speak. Not standing out from the norms which is what the royal family wants to portray.

I: In season 3 he says “I’m not allowed to cut my hair shorter”

E: Exactly, he’s trapped in those norms. I remember when I tried to map Wilhelm down before season 1 I wrote down some of his interests and dreams. As soon as I did it I thought it was beautiful that he had these dreams, thoughts and interests but then I realised that he won’t be allowed to realise them, they will always remain vague interests. I’ve always thought of him as into fashion that’s into style but he’s stuck in history, traditions and expectation which is prominent in his whole life. In many ways, that’s what the series is about. That's the reason why he’s not allowed to cut his his hair shorter.

I: Could you say he lives out through his love?

E: Yeah, that's where he actually can’t resist anymore. These traditions and expectations have kept him from realising who he wants to be but when moves to Hillerska he meets Simon and realises this is a person I can be myself with, a person I’m in love with, oh wow I’m in love with him. And that becomes a catalyst for other parts of his life where he wants to be free and test his wings.

I: And Simon can dress the way he wants and be more free.

E: Exactly, he comes from a background where he’s allowed to be who he is with his family but when he comes to Hillerska with all those traditions he is also influenced by that and now in season three they have chosen each other and are a couple officially after the speech in season two. ANd that changes Simon's life too. He’s suddenly in the spotlight for the first time and is faced with new dilemmas with how he wants to handle things

I: In preparation for season 1 you said you went through Wilhelm’s dreams, who it was and his limitations, the expectations on him and the rules he has to obey. What did this map look like? What was the big dream?

E: The big dream was for him to have room to breathe and be free. I remember that Rojda Sekezöz who was conceptual director for season 1 and 2 asked us to write a diary entry from the first week of Hillerska and I wrote that Wilhelm dreams of having a good relationship with his family and his mum, for her to be only his mum. He dreams of being allowed to let loose. When we first meet him in season 1 he is kindof a party prince and that’s a way for him I believe to express the frustrations inside him that he has carried in all seasons but now in season 3 he actually lives out- He dreams of being free meets SImon and realise it’s possible.

I: What about you Edvin? As an actor, have you changed in these seasons? It’s years of your life, You are young with alot going on but alot of things must have changed for you as an actor too?

E: Yeah, you are right, it’s been a very live changing experience with the reach of the series and the fact that we got to make 3 seasons, alot of things have happened in my life. You are trying to find your identity and you you are. I’m very thankful for these 3 years with this show and these people. I’ve learned more than I could ever dream of from directors and all the actors. It’s been a privilege to be around what I believe is Sweden’s future in this industry. There are so many young and ambitious people. We have been free and learned so much from each other and also become very close. That’s what I will miss the most I think.

I: Because this is the last season.

E: Yeah it is the last season.

I: Can you tell that you have developed as an actor. I think you can tell that you’ve gotten to know the environments, both as an actor and as the character. You are confident in some situations but also have pressure and expectations in others. Can you look at yourself from season 1 and then now in season 3 and think, “wow I’ve developed alot”

E: Yeah, I would say that. I look back at scenes from season 1 and think “wow I’m so young” and how clueless I was. I thought I had everything under control but I’ve learned so much up until now. It was the first time I was the lead role. For a very big project and I was very nervous but Rojda was very caring and safe so she guided me. She’s not a a part of the final season but I feel like when I started working with new director that I felt alot more confident and trusted myself more. And that will get you very far as an actor.

I: And you are meant to develop. It’s been three years. You are new at the school in the first season. Maybe it works out very well that you as an actor develop as the series does.

E: Yeah, we’ve been shooting it for three years but the story itself takes place during one school year. But I’ve also realised that what these characters are going through in a school year is what most people experience in 3. SO it works our very well.

I: This show has had exceptional reception. Netflix is talking about a worldwide success. You’ve already talked about this alot but how has it been for you recently? Howfrquently are fans in touch and how does it affect you?

E: It affects me alot. In a good way. It becomes quite abstract and it’s hard to grasp it when you are on social media and sees a number. It’s hard to realise that these are real people. BUt then we’ve had opportunities where we got to meet people. When we were at Kimmy Fallon we met people and Omar had his own show with a big audience from across the world that we got to meet. Just now in Paris we met people. When you get to meet these people and they tell you what the series have meant for them and that they have met people across the world thanks to the series it feels powerful. I’m doing this because I want to move people with this artform. And with this project we’ve managed to do that. It’s huge.

I: This will be with you your whole life, it’s a milestone.

E: Definitely!

I: BUt you were in Paris to talk about the show?

E: No, I was in Paris for Fashion Week. There’s alot of love on social media, of course unpleasant people too and I have periods in my life where I can handle it better and periods where I’m not as good and when people around me get affected it’s harder for me to handle but I’ve kept away from social media for a bit. Now that I went to Paris it was because i wanted to and I didn’t share it on social media but people found me there anyway and wanted to talk. It was beautiful

I: And the future? Do you get people contacting you from other countries asking you to be part of things?

E: If only it was that simple!

I: Not really, I’ve signed with an American agency in autumn 2021 and I’ve worked with them for a while now. That work continues and I talk about projects abroad continuously and they will come. I’m trying to not stress it.

I: Sounds smart.

E: I think so. To think sustainable. At the same time, the industry is very global and you can reach an international audience with stories from Sweden. It doesn’t hurt to do projects here that I want to do. At the end of the day it’s about the story, and portraying characters. It doesn’t matter where. It’s about working with talented people.

I: Are you rich now?

E: Yeah, I’m doing well money wise. Maths was never my subject so I struggle to be on top of that myself.

I: But with the third season, were there opportunities to negotiate?

E: Eh...I’m pleased with my economy. But of course, since this has been so successful you are in a better position to negotiate. But ti’s not about money for me. It’s never a factor in me saying yes or no to a project.

I: We talked a bit about the US and reaching out with a story. But when it comes to acting, how do you improve apart from working on things, you’ve worked alot, the abyss among others. BY the way do you remember your first project on Svt? Mannen under trappan? 3x1 hours you told me. Do you remember? How old were you?

E: I was five, I do remember parts of it. It was my parents that pitched me and handled everything. THey have always supported me in all my decisions. If I didn’t like it I didn’t have to do it. It’s supposed to be fun and feel right. I’m thankful for that and it carry it with me. Even if it was a dark story, it was a thriller, and Jonas Karlsson had schizophrenia, his character. I remember it s fun. There was a trampoline and we got candy when we worked at night. We played. We had a fantastic director that unfortunately is no longer with us, Daniel LInd Lagerlöf. He was great with us kids, it was me and Johanna Hintze that played the kids. I remember it as a fun experience.

I: It made you want to do more?

E: Yeah, evidently.

I: About improving, and your tools as an actor, do you work on that? BY working?

E: In a way you do...in recent years I’ve started to spend more time with the people I call the future of the industry. Actors from Royals...other co workers. I surround myself with people that are driven and ambitious and want to improve. It's a good thing because it makes me want to improve as well. You have drinks night and improvise scenes, it comes back to that naturally because everyone is so ambitious, You get inspiration right from the street. That woman for instance, she’s talking in her phone and she has 100 things going on in her life, she’s getting inside the car... things like that you pick up. You pick them up when you improvise and then you bring it along to set. It’s a craft which I love and die for. It’s amazing and you get obsessed with it.

I: So Friday night, you and your friends, drinks and improvisation.

E: Totally. You let loose. The people I surround myself are very driven and want to write their own things. Felicia Maxime comes to mind, we’ve done Young Royals, Avgrunden and A part of you together. Amazing actress, and also a script writer and director and very driven. She pushes me to let loose and improvise things. We can have coffee or drinks and brainstorm ideas and we can spend an hour in character and it’s wonderful.

I: Do you write anything?

E: I’ve gotten closer to that in recent ideas and have had ideas in my head that I write down. I recent year I’ve concretised them and written them down. It’s alot of fun but very hard. Then it’s good to have people around you that are experienced who I can learn from. I’m a person that puts alot of expectation on myself and can struggle to admit that I don’t know as much as the people around me and it’s been a process to get to a place where I can trust that I just need to learn more.

I: To be vulnerable?

E: Definitely. I feel like I’ve learned alot about that and that I can be vulnerable in private but in my working life it’s hard. It’s an industry with alot of expectation and pressure and you need to get picked. It’s not surprising that you try to be tough. But you get far by being vulnerable because it allows you to learn new things.

I: You have alot of fans. People write about you and Omar, it’s intense, you’ve shot alot and you've been in other things as well. Is it hard to separate the private person Edvin and the actor Edvin?

E: Yeah I’ve struggled with that. I think it’s because in season 1 alot of things happened and quite intensively and I had to create a character and as soon as Young Royals is brought up that character starts working. It was thar character that answered questions and used social media, all that. And they kinda merged which hit me just recently. It’s been hard to separate. It’s not surprising that you have these different persons. You have your business self and your social self but it’s important to separate for your ow mental health and I work on being able to do that.

I: Do you have a bit to go to get there?

E: Yeah I think so and that’s okay. I will be in different situations, that’s what I work with, to be different characters and I do with with alot investment. You give it your all and dives deeply. It will take a while but I need to accept that.

I: So it’s the interview person here today. Not the private person Edvin?

E: I think you’ve gotten a bit of a mix; I feel like. I’ve been quite open with some of my issues. Congrats.

I: I have to say I got a bit surprise, seeing you in that Jacket from Paris, the blond hair and the trousers, it feels like you’ve toughened up.

E. Maybe I have.That’s interesting... maybe I have.

I: It’s only based in the image I have of you. I’ve met you once or so before.

E: I’m in a period of my life where I... I’ve also grown up on set and it made me grow up faster than many other people my age and now I’m in a period of my life where I experiment and I’m the same vulnerable person on the inside and I’m very adamant about being open about my feelings and I think it's very important but I experiment more when it comes to the looks.

They rambled about the weather at the end but I didn't include it.

#edvin ryding #young royals #young royals spoilers #yr s3 spoilers

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