#it has some real gross implications to me

[bardic-inspo]

I think one of the (many) reasons I feel justified in being a bit of a hater about DA:TV is that not only did I spend the $70 for the game, I shelled out $500 for a new console just to be able to play it. Yes, I would have eventually upgraded, but probably not for another year or more. Mr. Megh and I made it our anniversary present to ourselves, but we've got a lot of house project stuff we could've spent that money on instead. My old Xbox ran just fine and I had plenty more games to play and revisit with it.

And yeah, it's not DA's fault that consoles are being upgraded/made obsolete at a stupid pace. But for the price of $570 yes I am entitled to be a bit bitter about an experience that disappointed me (and also roll my eyes at anyone who decries that entitlement).

[acynicalsweetheart]

CONTROL YOURSELF !

pairing: big brother curly's friend jimmy x curly's little sister reader

word count: 1.6k

dead dove do not eat: 18+, non-con/rape, anal, PAINAL, painal related blood, jimcurly sort of… he's pretending you're curly, one homophobic slur, implications of incest (mainly jim being green with envy but they r never confirmed to be true or not…)

author's note: set in 90s something like that so nevermind the radiohead ref… jimmy's in his early 20s here maybe idk up to u . inspired by an ask i got + kids ‘95! starts a little gay evolves into pretty damn gay.. any interaction/feedback appreciated as always!!

“Hey, Little Curly,” Jimmy walks into your room, shamelessly ogling your ass and bare thighs as you lay on your tummy on your bed. Drowning in your big brother��s shirt. 

“I have a name, you know.” You tell him flatly. 

“Yeah?” Jimmy says like he’s interested. “I don’t give a fuck, you know.” He ruffles your hair, purposely dishevelling your strands. 

“Then why are you here?” You glare up at Jimmy for one second, returning your attention to your fugly Gameboy the other. Probably Curly’s as well. 

“Why am I here? That’s a good question.” He stalks along your walls, picking up whatever items you’ve chosen as decorations only to place them in an entirely different spot. Smelling your perfumes. Gross. Girl smell. “I like virgins,” Jimmy says casually. 

“Okay?” 

Trailing back to your bed, Jimmy makes small talk. “I like it when they scream. Scream real loud. When their puss bleeds.” Like he doesn’t prefer assholes. Who doesn’t anyway? Tighter, no condom, no pregnancy… hurts like hell. Neat. He sits down on the edge of your fancy mattress with a creak. 

You’re unbothered. Kids these days. 

“That virgin smell.” Jimmy’s eyes are glued to the little pink patch of your panties showing. “So… clean, ya know? Fresh. Us guys, we can smell it.” He leans forward to take a whiff of your hair. Big brother’s shampoo. God damn, are you guys fucking or something? 

…

“You’re a virgin, aren’t you, Curly?” He asks, ‘cause sex don’t count if it’s your family, do it?

You squirm away, squeaking high and loud like a mouse, “none of your business!”

“Come on, the real Curly never gives me this much trouble.” Jimmy tugs on your hair, pulling your head back with it till you’re saying ow, ow, ow. “See, he’s nice. You’re a bitch.” 

“I’m telling him you said that.” A divot of anger forms between your brows as you look at Jimmy over your shoulder. Cute. Curly with a softer, younger face. 

Jimmy hates it. 

“Go ahead, I don’t care,” he says completely unbothered, flicks your forehead—hard. “Neither does Curly.”

With a roll of your eyes, you’re back to clicking away with your sticky little fingers on your toy. 

“Bet he fucks you, huh?” He shoots your back profile a sleazy, knowing grin. Talking his shit is an art that Jimmy has mastered over the years. 

“Who?” You question like you’re oh-so-clueless. Like you and Curly don’t fool around like lovers when nobody’s watching. Fucking deplorable. 

Probably gonna pop out one of those malformed three-eyed and five-legged incest babies in a couple of years. Call it Wavy or some shit. 

“You know who. Ya big brother.” He lifts up the edge of Curly’s shirt that you’re wearing. Probably 100% cotton. How he hates rich motherfuckers. Jimmy takes a nice look at your panties, comes to a conclusion: “I bet he eats your pussy.”

“Eww!” You swat his hands away, grimace at Jimmy—face contorted and wrinkled every which way. Like yesterday’s paper. Times Daily. Both equally as insufferable. 

“Bet it tastes like butterscotch.” 

“Curly! Your friend’s being a jerkwad again!” You yell out in the open, whiny little voice echoing throughout your room. Like he can hear you. 

“Jerkwad?” Jimmy parrots with a scoff, “that’s the best you can do? Come on, baby. I’m a creep—“

“—And a weirdo.” You add factually. 

“Shut the fuck up.” He snaps, Jimmy’s the only one who’s allowed to insult himself. Not to mention you fucking cut him off. Disrespectful little nutcunt you are. “God. Curly doesn’t talk this much.”

“Well, I’m not—“

Curly, no. You’re a pain in the ass. So for being a pain in the ass Jimmy’s gonna give you a little something-something. Something fitting. Well, might not fit if he’s being entirely honest. 

Jimmy shoves your head down. All too easy. Your 3-fps game keeps running, making you die virtually. GAME OVER, flashes the screen in bold pixelated text. 

“Hey!” You yell into the pillow, voice muffled by the plushness of it. 

Keeping his hand on the back of your head, he lifts up the edge of your shirt again. Pulls down your stubborn panties. “Nice ass.” 

Jimmy wonders if Curly’s ass looks like this. His is probably like, fucking hairy and shit. Being a man and all. Pink little hole. Gay-ass hole. Gay asshole. He needs to be inside before he fucking explodes. 

“Stop it!” You kick your legs, moving your hands to try—and very much fail—to cover your pussy. And ass. 

“Quiet.” He tells you sternly, not ‘cause he’s worried about your big brother hearing but ‘cause it pisses him off how girlish you sound even through the pillow. Unlike Curly. “Or I’ll… kill you. Yeah. I’ll kill you, y’hear that?” Poppin’ mad jazz like momma popped all those pills. 

You freeze up. Like Medusa just shot you a nasty glare.

“I got a gun.” Says Jimmy, who legally cannot acquire a firearm. Who has, not much but three pennies and an expired Gatorade and a couple felonies to his name. 

And a carnal need to fuck his best friend that is turning him rampantly violent. Rampantly homosexual by the looks of it. 

Once you’re shut up real good, Jimmy quickly undoes his belt and zipper, pulling his jeans and underwear down only enough to get his dick out. Shit’s harder than a fucking rock, man. Slicks it with his spit and goes to town. 

He hopes that it hurts. 

You get these full-body twitches like you’re having a seizure when Jimmy’s tip prods at your tighter hole. He keeps pushing, squishing your face deep into the pillow and forcing his way inside.

Jimmy thinks you scream, but he can’t really tell. Probably can’t even breathe. You’re gripping your sheets so hard your nails break and your knuckles drain of their color. Shaking violently when he buries himself to the hilt with one lone thrust.

“Jesus Christ,” he grunts, relishing the way your asshole is very obviously struggling to fit Jimmy’s cock, “tighter than a mother—“ fucker. Fucker is what he was supposed to add before it turned into a pornstar moan. 

God damn, this shit is turning him gay.

Immediately Jimmy starts fucking you the way you were born to be fucked, hips slamming into yours from behind. He pulls all the way out before thrusting all the in. “Holy shit.”

Your voice’s gone hoarse, letting out wheeze after wheeze into the pillow. Vocal chords just as busted as your hole. 

A thin layer of blood’s coating Jimmy’s dick like the condom he probably should’ve worn. Wouldn’t want to catch AIDS. 

(Jimmy would catch every virus and every disease for Curly a thousand times over if it meant having his own personal pocket-ass to fuck like this.)

“Look at your ass bouncin’ on me like that, Curls.” Jimmy tells you—Curly’s little sister who is face-down into a pillow and for all intents and purposes, cannot look at anything. Let alone your cheeks recoiling with every plunge as he absolutely destroys your ass. 

Too bad. 

“Best fucking ass I’ve ever fucked, Curly. Sucking me in like that, you want more, huh?”

You shake your head frantically. 

“Tiny little sissy,” even though Curly’s about the size of two Jimmy’s, he leans down to lay on top of you, panting into your neck, “you’re not even fighting back.”

“Who woulda guessed you’d be a sucker for ol’ Jimmy’s cock?” Jimmy picks up his pace, skin slapping deafeningly loud as he fucks into you with the strength of fucking Zeus. “Knew you always wanted me back, Curly.”

“Mm, yeah. Shit.” He tightens his grip on your hair, jackhammering into you till your bed that your family probably paid an extra penny for to be silent, whines like it’s old and cheap. “Gonna make me cum.”

Has you kicking up a fuss again. Literally. Wellying your legs like you’re fucking running. 

Legs. Curly’s legs. Those horse thighs. Ludicrously sexy and toned and athletic things. Could crush a fucking watermelon with ‘em. And Jimmy’s skull. Giant horse cock. Curly’s cock would be brushing up against the mattress, leaving a huge-ass stain from how deep Jimmy’s plowing his hole. 

“You want to take my load deeeep in that hole, dontcha, Curly?” His balls slap against you, a strange stickiness clinging to them and turning the sounds oddly macaroni-like. Jimmy fucks you harder. “Hell yeah, you do. Boyslut. Watch.”

Freezing up again at the same time Jimmy does, your walls grip his dick so fucking hard it’s going to fall off and get stuck inside you forever. 

Jimmy’s testies tighten up, groaning as he finally cums, shooting arrows of hot spunk into your ass. Hardest fucking orgasm of his life. Legit ascended to heaven for a second. 

He stays like that for a while, falling slack on top of you, hoping he impregnates your rectal womb or whatever the hell. Dick softening, Jimmy pulls out with a sloppy pop! and watches his jizz and your blood drip down your gaping, thoroughly stretched hole to your pussy.

Oddly enough, your pussy’s slicked up with what is presumably your own cum. Fucking whore. Must run in the family. Gross puddle beneath you, coloring your sheets an entirely different shade. 

You don’t even move anymore, shaking the slightest bit but not making an effort to do anything else. 

Nearly keeling over when he stands up, Jimmy pulls up his jeans, buckling his belt back into place. Leans down to your level with a hand on the pillow next to your head, bracing himself. 

“Faggot.” Jimmy whispers affectionately in your ear as you stay face-down—equipped with tits and pussy and… what else do women have that men don’t? 

Dignity?

He gets up and shuts the door to your room to go play some Doom downstairs with the real Curly. Adjusting his dick and balls through his pants.

[evilminji]

God, I am... so obsessed? (SI-OC thoughts)

PIDM/SVSSS/Xanxia let me gooooo .·°՞(¯□¯)՞°·.

Back on my bullshit, with another Treasures Maker™. But like... make um TANK. Go ALL in. No being coy about it. No holding back. Balls to the wall, batshit insane Treasure Maker.

A real "w-why would you..." Sort of creator. Tentacle with a knife sort of "....wanted to see what would happen." Kind of gal. No one is safe and EVERYONE is nervous. Put the crafting supplies DOWN, shimei! Back AWAY from the crafting rooms! You KNOW you have to be supervised in there!

No one wants another... Incident™! (WE DO NOT SPEAK OF THE INCIDENT™!!!)

Cause like?

They? Had a brother. That brother? Was gross. We love um, but teenagers, man. Violence and boobs. 2 Edgy 4 U media. That sort of shit. It was his bread and butter for like... Puberty.

Not! To say he was a bad kid! God, no! But he WAS basicly soaking in sweat, hormones, and teenage "oh god I'm so horny I couldd die but also AaaaaaAAAAAAA-!!!!" Brain fuckery. Not fun. She survived it, does NOT recommend, but still retains the Sisterly right to ROAST his deeply shit reading tastes (lightly).

After all? Who amongst us? Has not read terrible, terrible Smut based power fantasies? People in glass houses and all that.

.....she DOES wish she, you know, stuck it out. Read that trashfire COMPLETELY. Not just the spark notes, wiki, and that hilarious rant compilation of the Honorable Cucumber Bro (A Legend, we stan. God, what a psycho(affectionate)). But like... not her genre, man. She's an otome nerd. Her Meta knowledge aint worth SHIT.

But! Trying to relate to her brother? Listening to him excitedly talk about the latest chapters and current arcs? DID leave her with SOME knowledge. Enough knowledge.

Specifically?

This world is SHIT to women.

Like? A legit horror reality. Everyone has somehow? Still got that bullshit, purity culture, your honor is stored in your virginal, mint condition, breeding stock hoo-haa. While being surrounded by more natural aphrodisiacs then any Hentai universe could excuse! Like? EXCUSE ME!?

You can't SPIT, without hitting three Fuck Or Die plants and the aphrodisiac poisoning monster that LIVES IN UM!

But we, the WOMAN, would be a whore, should we be struck by the damn near inevitable? Airplane... you sexist HACK! (*Qinghau... feels like he's in danger*)(He swears he DIDNT MEAN IT! He just didn't think of the implications! About A LOT OF SHIT!)

Not to MENTION?

The fucking (quite literally) BODY HORROR fuckboi Protagonist! With his MONSTER DICK! Like? Look... she is a GROWN ASS WOMAN, okay? She KNOWS how sex works! Apparently, she is one of the privileged few in this universe who DOES. And while her little brother and that hack author may buy into the troupe "all women want huuuuuge, big, improbable, monster dicks"?

Ha ha! GOD, No. They do NOT. That is PURELY a male thing! It's a masculinity thing. Some power fantasy, male envy, "look how manly I am" bullshit. WOMEN? Have ORGANS. And while there ARE outliers (gods bless, we salute you. Go for greatness, you mad, mad queens.) MOST of us? Like bits that FIT.

You know... WITHOUT the Protagonist's so called "blood Gu". (Thanks! That's a HORRIFYING THOUGHT! Both on the "what do MEAN he, a non medically trained fuckboi, LITERALLY REARRANGED THEIR INSIDES?" lvl AND on the "WHAT DO YOU MEAN PARASITES IN THE BLOOD‽‽‽" lvl.)

So SI-OC? Rightfully? Wants Mr "All Women Are Belong To Me" NO WHERE near her. The fact that he's a demon? Irrelevant. The fact that he's an unrepentant MONSTER of a man? With a body horror dick? VERY relevant.

BEGONE XANXIA SATAN.

Leave her and her orifices the FUCK ALONE. You psychotic, sect murdering, realities destroying, selfish, narcissistic Fuckboi!

Not that she remembers much of the "cool motive, still murder" Phase of his life. Nor does she care, with how many people he fucks over. She wants to get far, FAR away from that mess. And more SPECIFICALLY? She wants to SURVIVE that mess. Which requires power.

She doesn't HAVE power.

But? She DOES have some Meta knowledge... and a shit ton of patience.

Cause after all, what is better then a protection talisman sewn onto a robe? Ten Thousand Protection Talismans sewn onto a robe, which is only ONE of a SET. And that? She can do.

To hell with pretty embroidery. Flowers and bamboo. Birds in flight. No, with Qi enhanced sight, and steady hands? The finest needle and the strongest, thinnest, thread? Script so tight and small it light grains of rice. Over and over and OVER. Each of her layers, holding thousands upon thousands of words. So small it's near impossible to read.

Which, of course, is to say nothing of the ribbons. Such long HAIR, after all! Only a FOOL wouldn't make USE of that space. Portioning out her head into hundreds of tiny braids, talisman written ribbons woven all the way down.

Every bit and piece of her clothing, a masterwork of steady repetition and patience. A fortress, built brick by brick. Not inconquerable. But strong enough, that even the heavens would strain.

Of course... only so long... as she's WEARING such armor.

Everyone must sleep eventually. Must bathe. You can not wear only one thing FOREVER. And that IS the difference between the strength you create and the strength you simply possess. One of them? Is always with you.

And like? Imagine it.

Big Sister. The penultimate Immovable Object facing off against Bingme's Unstoppable Force. Her DECADES of quite preparation unfurling like the waking of a slumbering GOD. All those traitors to the Sect. Women who BETRAYED their own. Betrayed their bothers and sisters, the CHILDREN they were supposed to guide and teach. For DICK. Having their attacks against her turned back against them.

Lethally.

As the remaining Peak Lords fight, a literal beacon of power. Of Safety. Sweeping through and grabbing survivors. Tossing them into a hidden realm she's literally wearing around her neck. Small but stable, her graduates work in progress. It's sparse in there. More bare earth and barely planted medical plants then anything. A few fruit trees.

But? It's beyond the reach of these invaders. And unless Luo Binghe kills her? Gets past her every defense and prys the anchor from her cold dead hands? Then they are safe. For now.

The sect may be lost. At least in terms of buildings, land. But it's PEOPLE? The important part? Not so long as she lives. The selfish dramas of demons and men are none of her concern. She has students, children, and the injured to protect.

And obviously, this makes her a target. She's shining like a God damn mini sun. It's not subtle. But the sect is burning, there's demons everywhere, she kinda expected that. At least she gets to kill a few of those traitorous "wives" on her way out.

(They betrayed their sisters. Their students. Their FRIENDS! This was their FUCKING HOME!! If they thought the Sect unforgivable? They should have LEFT. Not attacked as children fled for their lives. Cultivators are meant to kill monsters, not BECOME them.)

She takes them, her copies of as much of the libraries as she could manage on her own (it's not enough. Forgive her. She had to prioritize.) and heads for the border of the map. As fast as Cultivation can travel.

Did the Realms truely merge? Or did this portion collapse together? If they fly far enough, will they find the edge? And should it ALL have collapsed... he's not explored it yet. They have time to rebuild. Heal. Train and grow stronger..

All is not lost. Not yet.

Besides...

Who's to say that Fuckboi is the only Protagonist in this world? The only child of the Heavens? Maybe there are other gods. Maybe... maybe those gods are pissed. At the presumption. The arrogance. Maybe... just maybe, those gods will help. Who can say? It's never been done.

But is that not the duty of a righteous cultivator? To do what is right? To fight against monsters? What greater monster is there then this? The child not embraced by the village, will come to burn it down. But Luo Binghe? He has decided to burn the WORLD to ashes. And such madness must be stopped.

It doesn't matter how it began. They're gonna end it.

Together.

@mayfay @legitimatesatanspawn @spidori @babbling-babull @hdgnj @leftnotright

[starcurtain]

A Very Rambling Rant about Alhaitham and Aranara

Sigh. Everyone on twitter is all excited over this idea that Alhaitham can see aranara, and I don't mean to be downer but like... I kind of hate this. Not the idea of Alhaitham seeing aranara, which is very cute, very nice, yes, but more the way this kind of thing unfolds.

It's a classic example of unconfirmed material, extraneous to the actual game, getting put out on social media like it's canon: Someone tweets "ALHAITHAM CAN SEE ARANARA!!" and suddenly it's running rampant in the fandom and people are completely convinced it's canonically true, without the actual game or any confirmed story-relevant materials genuinely supporting the idea. This is exactly how misinformation gets spread. (I'm looking at you, "Jade enslaved Aventurine" Star Rail fandom brainrot.)

And it's this "bandwagon canon" that leads to constant issues in the fandom when people point out that even some widely accepted stuff is actually fanon. People are literally vicious over defending things that don't actually have any evidence in the game itself.

I really wish this fandom was better at distinguishing "This thing is factually true" and "This is a really cool idea and there might be a few hints for it! I'm going to make this my headcanon!" Watching stuff in fandom go un-fact-checked genuinely makes me terrified for people's ability to fact check real world issues sometimes!

Not to mention the way this conversation is happening is just really unpleasant too?

I saw multiple tweets with thousands of likes going around saying things like "Of course Alhaitham can still see the aranara; he has child-like wonder while Kaveh is traumatized and had to grow up too fast, so it makes sense he can't see them."

Which like... This is so gross to me? Are these people just missing the massive unfortunate implications of their own words--the idea that traumatized people can't experience wonder for the world anymore? That they're somehow broken and can't experience any child-like joy??? It's a deeply unpleasant take to me.

And not only that, it directly contradicts actual canon, because Yoimiya's entire second story quest was about a girl going through a traumatic illness that confined her to a wheelchair and led to her experiencing guilt and depression--and about helping her to see that everything that made life worth living was still there for her, and that she had never lost her wonder or will to live in the first place.

And the whole thing just smacks of a fundamental misunderstanding of why adults can't see the aranara in the first place. It's not because there's some sort of magical "You must be 18 or younger to see aranara" rule. It's because the aranara themselves choose not to be seen by adults. They protect themselves by making themselves invisible. They're not invisible by nature! Everyone can see them--when the aranara want to be seen. Conversely, this means that adults with "childlike wonder" are not just automatically seeing aranara left and right. No matter how happy and childish at heart an adult is, they will only see an aranara if the aranara personally trust them and want to be seen.

The aranara trust children because children are generally good-hearted (and also probably easy to escape from), so there is usually no need to keep themselves invisible to children, but even among children, they are invisible until they choose to be seen. (I think everyone forgot the quest where you find the child who was kidnapped by the Fatui in the forest, saved by an aranara who chose to reveal itself to her, but then she refuses to go back to the village, so you leave her at the aranara nursery--only the aranara there at the nursery choose not to reveal themselves to her because they don't know her yet.) Even with children, aranara don't just go running up on them--they're incredibly cautious creatures who only show themselves after they're sure they'll be safe. They distrust adults because adults deliberately use "growing up" as an excuse to abandon simplicity, kindness, and gentleness in order to embrace concepts that include getting ahead of others and seeking profit--two things which could be particularly dangerous for a vulnerable forest fairy population.

There's also an extremely complicated intersection between the aranara and memory, as they represent and upon "death" return to being the forest's living memory itself. Avin, the girl in Yoimiya's story quest, is a child--but still loses the ability to visit her aranara companion because her illness keeps her away from the forest so long that she simply forgets her aranara buddy ever existed. Even aranara who would love to continue playing with their human companions find themselves forgotten over and over again, because they simply don't linger in human memory well. It's a giant metaphor for how fleeting and temporary human existence is in comparison to the natural world! It's a metaphorrrrrrr.

(There's also the fact that aranara freely move between reality and dreaming--something which Sumeru's adult population only recently regained the ability to even do.)

And like... does no one remember that Yoimiya could only see the aranara because Traveler was there to introduce her to them? She doesn't just automatically see them even though she has all the childish wonder possible in her heart.

I even saw tweets saying that anyone who thinks Alhaitham doesn't have child-like wonder in his heart and wouldn't automatically be able to see aranara fundamentally misunderstands his character and I just... First, see the point above--this is already a misunderstanding of how aranara work.

Second, am I just crazy, or is there absolutely nothing about having wonder and curiosity and passion for the world around you that is confined to children? Are we really going with "Having an imagination is for kids" as our takeaway from all this?

Alhaitham absolutely is passionate! He loves Sumeru as much as Nahida does! The mysteries of the world fascinate him, and he wants to be doing nothing more than ravenously learning and taking in new information at every opportunity!

But finding wonder and joy in life's mysteries is absolutely not restricted to children!

There's nothing inherently "childish" about loving fiction and the fantastical world of books, having a vivid imagination, being passionate about learning new things, and just plain out enjoying life. I'm sorry everyone else has apparently become such miserable adults that the only way they can believe Alhaitham finds joy in the world is by assuming he must have maintained a "child-like" inner nature. Please go read more books and touch more grass and maybe you too will experience adult wonder and joy???

Alhaitham's vivid curiosity about the world isn't remotely "child-like." It's based on the same sort of philosophical obsessions that drove Plato and Aristotle to redefine human thinking. To Alhaitham, Sumeru is likely much more vivid and beautiful and full of intrigue because he is now an adult who has the ability to freely think, formulate deeper questions, and the means to pursue research into his personal passions. His teaser trailer is literally about how he took the job of the Scribe because the Scribe records truth--not child-like faith in the magic of the world, but a constant unfilled yearning to get closer and closer to what is real.

If Alhaitham can see aranara, it's because he's earned the trust of the aranara by his deeds, not because he's secretly still an innocent, sweet baby boy deep down who has chosen not to grow up. (And like, if "traumatized people don't see aranara" is really what we're going with, are we actually arguing Kaveh is the only traumatized, "grew up too soon" one here? Did everyone just forget Alhaitham is an orphan with zero surviving family members left in the world and that he spent his entire childhood friendless, at least as far as we've been shown?)

Winning the trust of the aranara is something anyone could do if they show strong enough positive traits--just basic kindness, gentleness, and patience, which I promise you, adults can have.

At the very least, if we're going to suggest Alhaitham is child-like, can't we at least point to his actual childish behaviors, such as constantly pulling Kaveh's pigtails like a schoolboy with his first crush? Throwing hands with anyone who pisses him off too much? Being a jokester who continually sends Paimon books because she picked on him for his choice of reading materials once? At least y'all could have started there... Come on, now.

Phew, this really was a whole rant, but I just needed to get that off my chest. The Hoyo fandoms on twitter are so, so bad. Like man, don't claim people are mischaracterizing someone while not even knowing the lore yourself... Sorry if that sounds harsh, but...

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Doctor Who, but Chronologically: 54

One year later! We move from 2005 to 2006, but accidentally - Eccleston and Rose are back, but they only intended to be gone 12 hours. Instead, it's been 12 months. This means Rose has been missing for a year, with a nationwide manhunt searching for her and poor Mickey her presumed murderer - we find out almost like a horror reveal, as Rose breezily announces she's home, and Jackie embraces her like she's seen a ghost, and over her shoulder Rose sees stacks and stacks of Missing Person posters with her own face.

And I'll be honest! I do not rate Camille Coduri as an actor. I do not think she's really up to the emotional weight of "frantic mother finally reunited with her missing daughter." But nonetheless, she absolutely nails one of those scenes; after the initial tears, and then the initial anger, during all of which Rose can only say that she's been "travelling", they have a more muted, poignant moment in the kitchen.

"What kills me, Rose," she says, tearfully, "is that you still can't say where you were. What happened to you? What could be so bad that you still won't tell me? Where were you, sweetheart?"

It's SO SO good. SO good.

And of course! Rose cannot say. She and the Doctor retreat to the roof.

"I can't tell her I've been to the year Five Billion," says Rose, giving us a treat to look forward to presumably at the end of this project. "I can't do this to her again."

"She's not coming with us," the Doctor says.

(They have great Best Mate vibes by now. Clearly, a lot has happened for them since last episode! Which, of course, we've seen a bit - they fought ghosts in Victorian London.)

And then an alien spaceship crashes into Big Ben.

This kicks off the plot! While Rose is apologising to everyone she knows at Jackie's Aliens Have Landed Watch Party, the Doctor gives her a key to the TARDIS and then goes to check out the possible First Contact. It has been taken to Albion Hospital, which is the hospital from the Empty Child! Hooray! We know this one. It turns out to be a sort-of cute pig whose brain has been hardwired to make it walk a bit like a human. It's dead, but then it wakes up (probably them nanites again) and tries to run away before it gets shot by an army man - the Doctor is furious at this, because it was clearly just scared. Poor pig. Meanwhile, in Tredegar House Downing Street a bunch of politicians assemble because no one can find the Prime Minister, and into this steps Harriet Jones, MP for Flydale North. She is played to perfection by Penelope Wilton (FUN FACT back in the 80s she was approached to play the Lady in Silver Nemesis), and amongst the alien landings she really wants to get her proposed bill for cottage hospitals read, and can't understand why no one wants to make time for it.

"I know I'm hardly one of the babes," she says at one point, which I think confirms that the Prime Minister is Dead Tony Blair. At another, she manages to talk to the new Acting PM, and starts describing her mother's care home.

"BY THE SAINTS, WOMAN, HAVE SOME PERSPECTIVE" he bellows.

She ends up hiding in a cupboard in hopes of adding her bill, but this means she actually views what's really going on - the politicians are secretly the real aliens! Uh oh! They are killing important people and then wearing their skin suits. Gross. A quirk of this that has aged quite badly is that this means all Secret Aliens have to be fat, because they have bigger skins, so we're unfortunately left to be suspicious of fat people. I think they perhaps should have thought through those implications a little more, especially given that another indicator for the audience is excessive farting.

Anyway, the Doctor returns to Rose, but therefore materialises the TARDIS in front of Mickey and Jackie. Mickey already knew this. Jackie, by contrast, reacts as well as you'd expect and calls an alien hotline to report him. This gets us a super fun segment where the words "the Doctor" and "TARDIS" flag up on the government system (and yet this did not work for Rose's google session last ep smdh), triggering a red alert; many people with guns come and whisk the Doctor and Rose away to Tredegar House Downing Street.

"But why?" Rose asks in their limo.

"Over the years I've made a name for myself," explains the Doctor, "and now, who's the greatest expert on alien life?"

"Patrick Moore?"

"OTHER THAN HIM."

God they're fun.

But, on arrival, only the Doctor is allowed into the war room. Harriet Jones manages to grab Rose, and spills her traumatic afternoon. Meanwhile, the Doctor realises the plot!

"The pig's not a diversion," he says. "It's a trap."

It's a GREAT line. And he's right - if every expert on aliens is in one room, they can all be taken out in one go. This takes us to the final cliffhanger: the Doctor and other experts are being electrocuted by their ID cards as two aliens gloat over them, Harriet and Rose and a staffer find Tony Blair dead in a cupboard and then get menaced by an alien, and a policemen in Jackie's flat starts menacing her in her kitchen.

At this point, I must talk about the aliens.

Reader I was unimpressed by these fuckers back in 2005 when I watched it the first time, and they have of course not aged very amazingly, unfortunately. They are called the Slitheen and they have deeply stupid hands. Each finger has a non-retractable claw about a foot long. There is simply no way they would be capable of the advanced technology we're told they are. It's like if humans tried to do brain surgery using only these bad boys:

Also. I don't judge them for this - RTD was still working out tone, and was throwing things at the wall to see what would stick, and it is a children's show when all's said and done. But the constant "teehee farting" concept Is Not For Me, Bestie.

HOWEVER I applaud the physical costumes and puppet work ANYWAY

Someone graffiti'd the words Bad Wolf on the TARDIS... I wonder what that means?

QUESTIONS:

“She” (an unknown person) is returning (Suspects: River, Missy, Me, Clara)

There is something on Donna’s back

An entire planet, Pyrovilia, just… disappeared, somehow. (Maybe because the TARDIS is exploding??? Saturnine was also lost, and that WAS because of the TARDIS exploding. The lion man’s planet was also lost but he was a bit of a knob about it if I’m honest. The Thijarian planet was destroyed by some sort of impact). Is this the Flux?

The TARDIS is sort of melting because it’s corrupted, but it’s fine again. NOPE, back to not working.

The Doctor has employed(?) Nardole

(And Nardole was “reassembled???” Nardole had glass nipples and invisible hair?? He used to be blue, and could apparently go back to it??? He’s some sort of helplessly criminal con-artist??? WHAT THE FUCK IS HE)

There’s an immortal Viking girl now. Her name is Me and she’s now looking after the people the Doctor abandons

Why was Rory entirely unconcerned by the entire world suddenly going silent when that is Not Normal and should have been, at the very least, extremely disconcerting?

What did the Doctor do to Queen Lizzie One?

Why is Amy seeing a one-eyed woman in a vanishing window? (She’s with the Silents, but we don’t know why Amy saw her)

Why is Amy’s pregnancy inconclusive? (Maybe because the baby had Time Lord DNA?) She’s deffo pregnant and the baby becomes River, but why inconclusive?

Who is Sarah-Jane Smith?

How is the Doctor Bill’s teacher and why/where does he have an office?

What is going on with the Cyber War and the Cyberium???

What happened with the Other Cyber War? Were either of these Cyber wars affected by the Doctor blowing them up with Nemesis?

What happened with the Third War that deleted the void?

Why does Rose seem particularly important?

What order do these Doctors go in? (Eccleston, Tennant, uncertain, Smith, Capaldi, Whittaker)

Which companion just… forgot the Doctor, and how?

Yaz and Vinder are about to die as Mori/Mwri/Muuri (Not anymore, somehow)

There is a Lupari shield around Earth.

What’s a Time War? Did this destroy the Doctor’s planet and/or family? Did this destroy the Auton world?

What’s the Rift?

What’s Bad Wolf? Gwyneth saw “the Big Bad Wolf” in Rose’s mind, and it was on a 1987 poster as graffiti. NEW INFO: It was graffiti on the TARDIS!

In which war did the Doctor become a war criminal, and how?

Is Rory plastic or not? Yeah, must be, he couldn’t possibly remember being plastic otherwise

Why is the Doctor sulking on a cloud?

How exactly does the Doctor have a cloud?

What exactly happened with Strax to, uh, tame him?

Which friend killed Strax?

Which friend brought Strax back?

Where did this lesbian lizard and human couple come from?

What happened with Clara as Souffle Girl and the Daleks?

How does Clara actually join?

Why so many Claras? A psychic midwife says she’s just normal human

Why is Missy apparently in robo-heaven? Is this because she’s now dead?

Why is probably!Missy pushing Clara and the Doctor together?

What is Trensilor and what happened there?

Who is Handles?

The Doctor is about to be dissolved by a beautiful geode man

The universe is being crushed by the Flux

Will the Doctor open the fobwatch? Is it actually just a pager?

Sontarans are invading Earth again

Who is Kate?

Who is Osgood? Another name of Clara’s again?

The fuck is the deal with the Grand Serpent

Does Martha get to go to an ice cream planet with 12-fingered massage aliens?

How did the Doctor forget Clara?

Who is Bill’s puddle girlfriend Heather? This is presumably the star-eyed water faerie

How did Nardole die?

When does the Doctor shrink and enter a Dalek called Rusty?

Whittaker is falling to her death rn

Was that ring relevant?

Does anyone know the Doctor’s name? Missy says it’s “Who”

When did Yaz talk to Dan about fancying the Doctor?

When did Dan talk to the Doctor about fancying Yaz?

What’s happening with the bees?

What happened with Donna’s ex and a giant spider?

What war wiped out the Daleks, and is it one of the ones already mentioned?

What did the Doctor mean when he said “The (Daleks) always live, while I lose everything?”

If Dalek Caan is the last Dalek left why are there more now?

How did the rest of the Time Lords die?

How and why did Amy melt?

What’s the question that will make silence fall?

Why do the Silents… want silence to fall?

How and why are Silents at war with the Doctor when he… hasn’t even heard of them?

How does Hitler get out of the cupboard?

What’s the significance of fish fingers and custard?

Why does the Doctor feel guilt about Rose, Martha and Donna?

What happened with the space whale?

How does the Doctor survive River? He doesn’t, apparently

How does he erase himself from history

Did Captain Jack lose his memories to the same people as the Doctor? What did he lose?

When did the Doctor send the Daleks into a void to save the universe?

Why do Amy and Rory think the Doctor is dead? Is it because of River as an astronaut?

Is Matt Smith’s Doctor a tree racist?

Why is the beautiful geode woman stealing people into a Passenger form?

River says she’ll die one day when the Doctor doesn’t remember her, let’s hope she doesn’t mean it

Why doesn’t the TARDIS like Clara?

When was the Master Prime Minister?

How do Amy and Rory rejoin the Doctor given that they haven’t died yet in 1950s Manhattan?

Looking forward patiently to the year Five Billion :)

[all-pacas]

entertain the idea of transmasc chase for me?

i want to preface this by saying i am not trans myself and so i'm always a little cautious about this kind of thing; i kind of always worry about "doing it wrong" or being weird or ignorant or just getting involved in something that isn't For Me To Get Involved In. so now i'm just going to talk without thinking too much about it:

EDIT: okay having gone on at length, uhhhh, warning for? i guess? it being kind of depressing? like more "sad realism" than "fun hc"vibe. i'm sorry

considering that chase himself is already like - his whole life is about trying to, in a real way, define himself. redefine himself. he keeps landing in these situations - be a good boy and please your father, be a good boy and obey god, be a good boy and daddy issues again, win house's approval, stop wanting house's approval. get married and have three kids - he did love cameron, but that wasn't a particular desire of his we ever saw before or after her, right?

it's a weird thing to say about chase, whose morals tend to be fairly fast and loose, but: he loves a good Set of Rules. he is used to living in a world with strict and impossible expectations, and he is used to trying to meet them. he never really rebels or resists. he slacks off and doesn't try hard, but he did go to med school and do very well at it. he knows what is expected of him. he does what is expected of him. we even see it with post-divorce slut chase, we see it in s8 when he's pressured to ask out adams: he is pretty, so he needs to sleep around. he likes the priests and nuns at his school, so he needs to be super catholic. you give this kid an Expectation, and he is going to make his entire fucking life about meeting it. he isn't all that … rebellious. he isn't all that strong willed. he sits on things, he doesn't fight.

and honestly if you throw in transmasc or transfem, it adds an incredible (and lbr: fucked up) extra dynamic. because, first of all, chase was born in the late 70s. he came of age in the 80s and early 90s. even if he had the words to explain his feelings, culture was way behind, and it's so easy to imagine this i must be good at my role as a direct result of that: pre-transitioning transmas chase doing their fucking utmost to suppress their feelings and be good and going nuts about it. transfem chase deep in the closet for a very long time.

there's a sort of implication scattered throughout s1-2 about chase and drugs, right? he always thinks teenagers are on party drugs, and he knows way more about them than foreman, lowkey: he's suggesting snorting printer toner and foreman has never heard of it. we also know chase's teenage years were… troubled, to say the least. to me, i've always kind of assumed he had some kind of breakdown over his parents and parentification and mother's alcoholism and sort of dipped into his slut era, 16-year-old edition. partying and drinking and pure rich kid bullshit, because he's trying to escape. and tie this all in. tie this in with gender stuff. with his need to get approval, to be accepted.

i think transmasc chase doesn't transition until after rowan dies. i think, even halfway around the world, even convinced he hates his father and no longer cares, that need for approval is just too strong. but i can also see him transitioning in med school, learning about these things for probably the first time (beyond whatever 90s grossness/joking he would have grown up with), and just having a crazy breakdown over the possibility and sudden awareness and the struggle between i want this and this is not what dad/society wants for me and chase is… kind of a chicken, tbh. it would not be an easy choice. especially without a support group. either way, i think what he does next is decide he is going to be the best, most… stereotypical, most masculine, he's gonna sleep around and drink hard and do sports and get a good grade in being a boy, because inside chase there are two wolves and they're named daddy issues and god and he's never met an expectation or authority figure he isn't going to try and impress.

(he probably also hopes rowan will like him more as a boy. naturally he is wrong. it has nothing to do with being trans, rowan is just always going to find a way to be disappointed in him.)

[littledesertfox]

Hello, I hope you're having a wonderful day! My name is Marlowe/Atari! I come to you to expose another neo-nazi in the community. His name is Paul, and his goes by @dertotalenkrieg on Tumblr.

Now, why am I saying this now? Well, I noticed that this user was in the same reichblr server as I was. As I was scrolling through the Neo-Nazi Community under the reichblr, I noticed that Paul posted there.

Content Warnings for Nazi Imagery and Holocaust Denial in the Screenshots

Before anyone says, "This wasn't supposed to be taken seriously/this is out of context." Counterpoint, the implication of the post's caption is that Paul had to obtain this from Telegram. It also implies that he has experience with the platform and its neo-nazi communities contained within.

And this isn't a one-note incident either. I looked through Joseph's likes and saw these posts.

Obviously there are more posts that aren't shown in the screenshots that are noteworthy. The only one I can remember is one that was about cutting a swastika on one's skin.

What initially set off alarm bells was this guy's Discord profile;

I immediately detected the dog whistles within this user's profile. The SS's, the extraterrestrial imagery referencing neo-nazi pseudoscience, and the quote are obvious signs that this person is serious about this.

I deliberated on doing this since I didn't want to be the bringer of bad news, and the fact that this could possibly be traced back to me. I'm hesitant on associating my blog with this community (even though I'm a part of it.) and getting called a Nazi (despite this entire ask pointing to the contrary). I know you guys don't like Nazis, and I'm not gonna call you bad people for having unconventional interests.

The obvious way of avoiding any nazis joining this community is looking for dog whistles, that's your best method of exiling them quicker from your community.

Also, if you're gonna refer to me in your post, my pronouns are they/them + co/cos.

Thank you for reading my ask!

Hi, first of all sorry it took me a bit to respond, I had some busy things going on in real life.

Secondly ew, that's fucking nasty. I wasn't aware that this community existed (I never really looked much into the communities feature in general), but that's just gross and shouldn't have a platform. Immediate report, I don't know if this will just result in (hopefully) the deletion of the community, or if it will also have an effect on the people who are members of it, but as it is public to everyone here's a free block list I guess:

Reminder: Don't go over to these blogs and harass them or send anon hate, it won't do anything and will only give them more attention. Block, and in case they have sufficient evidence of hate speech or other harmful content on their blog, file a report to Tumblr moderation (if you feel comfortable enough to check their blogs that is, I understand that it can be difficult to stomach seeing that kind of content, especially if you're part of a targeted group).

Formerly, I didn't take a direct issue with this dertotalenkrieg guy personally, maybe I'm also confusing him with someone else but at least a few months ago I reckon he posted just historical photos and fairly "normal" reichblr stuff. Never really interacted with him as Goebbels isn't really a focus in my interests, and since a while I had him blocked anyway because he definitely did get weirder (and I just didn't want to see him anymore). I first noticed when he commented on my post to defend that other neo nazi, which should have been a clearer sign to me, however, I always had a hard time telling if he was ever genuine about something or if his entire account was just one big shitpost (personally I also don't believe in the whole reincarnation stuff, at least not in the way that he claims it to be, so the way he behaved about that might also be another reason why I couldn't really take him serious).

However this of course changes that, I never thought of looking through the guy's likes (I frankly didn't even notice that he had them public), but the things he engages with plus obviously the fact that he is a member in that neo nazi community makes it pretty obvious (that photo he posted there has literally nothing to do with historical interest). I kind of wonder now if him believing that he's the real Goebbels is what made him become a nazi (because he thought he had to replicate his "former self" or whatever) or vice versa that him being a neo nazi made him at some point think that he's one of the actual historical nazis. Regardless, he should not have a place here anymore. Thank you for letting me/us know!

[velvetvexations]

as an autistic trans man, sometimes I feel less safe in public presenting as a man than as a woman, because, especially in certain places, man + visibly autistic tends to be more often falsely read as "dangerous and predatory" than when people read me as a woman.

Yeah, as an autistic trans woman who doesn't pass, I feel that. <3

Honestly thank you so much for what you do on this app. I'm so glad there's people who are actually willing to stand with trans men instead of pulling the "um well I have it worse so do NOT talk about your own oppression EVER or else you're a transmisogynist!" I'm so happy I found your blog and I hope you have a great week <3

I hope you have a great week as well!

Eh a long while ago Chris Fleming made a video making fun of polyamorous people which used a lot of the same hurtful stereotypes society already perpetuates against us and I’ve not paid attention since

Noted, as someone who is also poly.

i wish the queer community didnt put so much emphasis on sexuality labels like i just want to have sex why do i need to put a word to it

very valid

about the dropout “discourse”: hot take but real life people are not representation. theyre people. real people are not queerbaiting you and real people happening to not be transfem (and I have literally seen transfems in some dropout episodes theyre just not part of the main cast) is not a lack of representation. these are real people. stop* *not you, the people being shitty about it

the complaint is not in any way coming from a genuine place tbh

hey! i just wanted to let you know how much your blog means to me as a trans guy. you and your reblogs have given me hope at trans unity, and lets me know that i-- that we-- aren't alone. so thank you for everything you do, and i greatly appreciate your support and look up to you 💛

Thank you. <3

i redownloaded etsy recently and seeing all the trans stuff saved to my favorites is so sad. i used to feel happy and proud and i wanted to be open about being transmasc. but since all the discourse got worse i just. cant bring myself to feel like it matters. it makes me feel like im trans and yet i will never matter the way other trans people do.

You do matter anon, I promise. I love you, you matter, and I'm glad you're here.

As a trans guy a lot of the self-ID'd TME transmascs weird me out so much. Like why do they all sound like "I am so strong and my power to Harm Women is immense. I could do it so much and I feel the pull to the Transmisogynist Dark Side but *unsheaths sword* I will protect them instead with my big strong testosterone arms from my fellow men" like what even is that. Who is into this.

it's so incredibly obviously bad but it reinforces some people's victim complexes so it's praxis now

a trans person will joke about their experience and a trf will jump in to assume theyre a white transmasc who has never ever faced any real difficulties for being trans

every time

Out of the many, many stupid ideas in this dumb discourse, I've finally decided the one I hate the most is that underlying implication that transmascs just aren't trans enough. It's so gross seeing people imply that we aren't really trans. Our dysphoria is minimal discomfort at most, apparently. I've seen people post about and imply that transmascs will never understand not feeling like a person or being unable to live a life pre transition and that's why we have privilege, i guess - are you kidding me? It's like our experiences are a joke to these people who are clearly so wrapped up in their online discourse bubble that they're just detached from what it's like for trans people as a whole. Sorry for the vent (would rather not post this on main and I don't have anyone to talk to) but it's just the most grating part. Also it's like. Low-key transmed shit. Thought we left that behind, c'mon.

transmeds are like ants they come back every summer

i wish TRFs had a label they proudly called themselves so i could jsut go through their tags and block them, but noooooo they HAVE to frame their transphobic bullshit as Brilliant Transfeminist Theory. like atleast radfems are fucking honest about being radfems

That's part of why I made antigonism a label for anti-TRFs to call themselves~!

[picturejasper20]

A lot of people in the phandom talk about how Season 3 was when Danny Phantom went downfall, and while i agree with the idea, i believe that the series was starting to show some of these cracks in Season 2 that later collapsed on Season 3.

For starters, we have the Season 2 first episode ¨Memory Blank¨, whose main purpose was to give Danny a logo in his suit so they had to make the portal explode on him again. It is an episode that doesn't much sense in the timeline and it is very confusing. It doesn't change much aside from Danny having a logo.

Later we have episodes like ¨Reign Storm¨ and ¨The Ultimate Enemy¨, considered to be the peak episodes from the series by many for a reason. The issue with these episodes is that they were setting up for pretty interesting things- but they never had a proper paid off. I have talked before about how the Ring of Rage and Crown of Fire never appear again after Reign Storm in spite of how important they were. There isn't any mention of them in the episodes that followed. The same goes to The Ultimate Enemy, a mutual of mine, @pedanticat, pointed out how the special was setting up for Clockwork to be a mentor figure for Danny, which didn't get much followed except for a later episode.

While "The Fright Before Christmas" has some good moments, it is frustrating how Danny has to put up with Jack and Maddie's childish argument that ruins for him and Jazz what should be a special time of the year. It is quite gross that a 14 year old teenager has to deal with something like this and the adults are never called out for it.

I do enjoy "Secret Weapons" a lot but one main issue it has is that it semi rewrites Jazz's character, making her be incompetent at ghost hunting when in previous episodes (My Brother's Keeper and Maternal Instincs) and later ones she isn't seen having this same kind of issue with using fenton gadgets. I believe it was written like this so the status quo wouldn't change much in the show.

From here is where things start to get more messy, with "Beauty Marked" having very cool things but giving a mixed message regarding gender (potraying all girls who like fashion and buy clothes as brainless and Sam being the only girl who is clever). Not terrible since it still fun to watch but questionable in message.

"Masters of All Time": Another dumb alternative plotline episode that doesn't add much to the series and was a whole wasted of opportunity of showing how Jack and Maddie's relationship with Vlad used to be before the proto-portal accident. Pretty insulting to previous characterization established for Vlad as antagonist among of a lot other weird messages and implications. Not much else to add that hasn't been said before in my blog or by some of my DP mutuals.

"Double Cross My Heart": I don't remember a lot of this one but i do know i didn't like the whole idea of Danny stalking Sam + ¨If someone else that isn't Danny likes Sam, it means that they are faking it¨. I do know that as whole this appears to be one of the most disliked episodes from the series.

"Reality Trip": Looking back this episode has a lot of really cool things, specially some exploration of Freakshow's characterization and Jack and Maddie as parents. The GIW being main antagonists is great too. The whole problem that brings this whole special down is that the events that take place don't have any real impact and most of the characters, including Jack and Maddie, lost their memories of learning about Danny's identity as Phantom. This has to be one of the most insulting moves the series did, all because for the sake of keeping the main status quo. It makes me wonder why Kindred Spirits couldn't have been the double part episode instead, since it is related to one of main plotlines (Why Vlad gave Valerie all that gear) and is about one of the main antagonists (Vlad Masters), something that was a lot more important that Freakshow.

As you can see, Season 2 was already starting to show problems that later defined the writing of Season 3. You have things like inconsistent characterization (From Secret Weapons to Masters of All Time), lack of proper continuity ( What i already said of Reign Storm ending and also Valerie not having a major role after Flirting With Disaster) and episodes with weird timeline plotlines that go nowhere and don't have a real impact. (Memory Blank, Masters of All Time and Reality Trip) It is a season that, aside from the first episode, it stays pretty well until the first half, then in the second half it kinda falls apart, with having some episodes that are pretty solid and others that are a mess for different reasons.

[hervygervy]

Speaking of Chaos Kin, IIRC there's really not much elaborated on it apart from Idols, it's Japanese name being "Messenger of Chaos" and the note that "Chaos was the void where everything was created, including the primordial gods"

I don't know what you're gonna do with this information but I'm taking it as a sign that the Chaos Kin is simply a leftover from the beginning of everything

You know what, thank you for bringing this up to me because I did a little research and made an utterly fascinating discovery. A breakthrough, if you will. I think so, anyway.

Before that, yes, the Japanese name for the Chaos Kin is 混沌の使い (konton no tsukai) or "messenger/envoy/emissary of chaos" or however you'd like to put it. I would really like to know the logic behind the name change because both have pretty different implications. "Kin" inherently means "related to" which gives the impression that this creature is some kind of manifestation of chaos, while "messenger" effectively infers that this creature is an agent or bringer of chaos. Basically, 使い (tsukai) inherently implies that it's some kind of subordinate to chaos rather than being chaos itself.

As for chaos being the void from which everything was created... that's an idea from Greek mythology. The creation story goes that before Uranus and Gaea, there was just primordial chaos, from which everything kinda just came into being. Your idea is a fun one, but personally I wish people would recognize the fact that Kid Icarus isn't an adaptation of Greek mythology, nor is it trying to be. The creator of the original game, Toru Osawa, just so happened to have a vague interest in Greek mythology, and wanted his game to just be full of things he personally thought was cool (it was his first time ever making a game after all). Thus, all it does is take the general aesthetic of Greek myth as depicted in pop culture and takes some names of random figures and monsters. I mean, they literally took a skull with crab legs and called it "Ganymede" (spelled "Ganewmede" in game), so I would really not take any references to Greek mythology with any semblance of seriousness. This is probably just me, but I'm just really tired of people trying to emphasize the whole Greek mythology references thing because in reality, Kid Icarus is about as true to Greek mythology as Marvel's Thor is to Norse mythology. If you want something more faithful, I'd suggest trying some other game.

Anyway, originally I wanted to address your query on what the Chaos Kin is... and then I'll get to my epic discovery. Promise. In both the English and Japanese versions of the discussion about the Chaos Kin in the ground section of chapter 20, Viridi nor any other character seem to have any idea what it is other than that it lives in another dimension, eats souls, and has some terrifying powers. But, there's an interesting tidbit of information reserved for the Japanese version of the flight section of chapter 21. Remember the part of the level where some duplicates of the Chaos Kin show up? More below because this is becoming a bit lengthy...

Yeah, so this moment just seems to be a showcase of how the Chaos Kin's ability to create monsters is so great that it can even manifest lookalikes, right? Another piece of dialogue seems to support the idea that these are mere clones:

"Real deal" would imply that there's an original and a whole bunch of phonies, wouldn't it? Well the Japanese version describes them as possibly being just other specimens of the same kind of creature!

I'll translate:

Viridi: We're getting close to the Messenger of Chaos. But...

Pit: But?

Viridi: There seems to be a lot of lookalikes.

Pit: Wahh! That's too gross!!

Viridi: Is the Messenger of Chaos replicating itself? No, these are simply the same type of creature.

Pit: If such atrocious creatures are being mass produced, that would be unbearable!

Curious, huh? Oh, and because of this, of course the moment when the target Chaos Kin shows up has different dialogue:

This one's short. I'll translate anyway:

Viridi: Over there!

Pit: Full speed ahead!

Anyway, so I thought that was all there was to it. That I would leave you here today with only the information that the Chaos Kin might be its own whole thriving species. But ohoho... I found something crazy. Something wild. You brought up the idols, yes? So I actually haven't progressed that far in my Japanese copy of the game and thus don't have access to a lot of the idols. But for funsies, I decided to look them up. Shout out to the random YouTube account that uploaded a video compilation of all the idols in the year of our Lord 2023.

The English idol description for the Chaos Kin reads as follows:

"An evil being whose strange power may even surpass that of the gods. It is mindless, only possessing the desire to cause disorder and disaster. Long sealed in the Lunar Sanctum, the Chaos Kin is suddenly free to spread anarchy."

But the Japanese description:

「魂をフックに引っかけ支配する狡猾な邪神。神をも下す恐ろしい力を持っていたため静寂のアロンの月の神殿に封じられていた。文字通り混沌を好み、裏切りや争いなどを起こす。意志らしい意志は感じられない。支配された魂はむさぼり食われる運命。」

I would italicize this one too but italicized Japanese hurts my eyes, I won't lie. I'll italicize the translation!

"A crafty evil god that snares and controls souls with a hook. Because it held frightening power that would bring down even the gods, it was sealed in Arlon the Silent’s Moon Temple. It literally likes chaos and brings about betrayal and strife. It doesn’t seem to have anything like a will. Controlled souls are fated to be greedily wolfed down."

Just a reminder, "Arlon the Serene" is called "Arlon the Silent," and the "Lunar Sanctum" is called the "Moon Temple."

But did you see that?? The Chaos Kin is described as a 邪神 (jashin) or "evil god." You might remember this word from when we talked about it before... it's the same word used to describe Pandora! Regardless, what's important is that, apparently, the Chaos Kin is a whole deity! And there are multiple of the same species! Lovely!!

Out of sheer curiosity, I tried looking up the Japanese trophy description for the Chaos Kin in Super Smash Bros for 3DS, but it seems nobody on this planet has ever bothered to transcribe the Japanese text for them anywhere, and there is one lone video compilation of them in poop fart quality. I can barely read anything. I was able to make out one thing, and that's that it's described as a 生命体 (seimeitai) or "life form" which... honestly makes me question things more. Is this thing a deity or not? But at the same time, this is also just a Smash Bros trophy description that I can barely freakin' read. Smash Bros isn't really a source of canon, as I've already discussed in a previous post. Gotta get your info from the horse's mouth and all that.

So!! I'm going to conclude that the Chaos Kin is a 邪神, or "evil god," as written in its idol description. Absolutely wild. This information will rotate in my mind like a rotisserie chicken. This has so many implications. And there are many of them. Wow. Looks like we both learned something!

[radley-rambles]

I know antis are compared to conservatives in how they talk about their ships and media, but is it just me, or has there also been a bigger push towards conservatism in those circles when it comes to things besides ships now? In how they talk about things like gender or race or politics? Moral absolutism? Even a type of "rules for thee but not for me" attitude?

I can't tell if this is a real phenomenon happening or if recent events have just made me more wary.

I'm not hugely active in the spaces where I come across that sort of person (thankfully....) but I have seen some very disturbing ideas floated by antis regarding 'think of the children', where all expressions of sexuality (but especially, of course, queer sexuality) are categorised as dangerous and bad. The most notable was someone trying to insist that the mere knowledge that a penis existed (i.e., a male character they disliked appearing in their underwear, with an honestly understated bulge you would not notice unless you were looking for it) was gross, wrong, offensive, and even dangerous and traumatising. Which... has all sorts of ghastly implications, from homophobia to transmisogyny.

So, um. Yeah.

I think people who moralise and pearl clutch about fandom are in general more annoying rather than dangerous, but I do think those who get into it should do some serious introspection regarding their disgust responses. Some of it blatantly originates from USAmerican puritanism. Hell - the same goes for anyone. Whenever you find yourself truly disgusted by something, take a moment to step back, reflect, and ask yourself why.

This is not to say that disgust is always wrong! I think it's perfectly natural to be disgusted by people who are causing genuine harm to others. But the shifting goalposts about what constitutes 'genuine harm' speak to rising rates of conservatism in the public consciousness.

[honeyhonest]

ahem ahem brainrot anon at the mic imagine taking a bath with idia and like it starts all wholesome and cute, blowing bubbles, putting foam on each others' heads idfk how idias hair would work but whatever ig its charcoal or smth who knows maybe he gets bald giggling and shi and then you look at each other and lips and stuff and then turns out idia has a boner like "dude im not even gonna lie im horny asf rn like im in an otome and this is the sex scene" ohhhh. man. sloppy wet sex ensues or imagine first time with idia both for you and him being fucking awkward like where do i put it in. sorry i ccant. oh wait there it is sheesh. being like am i supposed to moan rn or what its not porn is it. and at some point it gets very genuine loses the weird awkwardness and becomes just sensual like im glad we could experience this together typa shi <\\3 gentle and maybe a lil stiff but loving and caring nonetheless very careful and attentive. like. hey youre actually gorgeous asf. the same goes to you.........sob or sleeping next to each other. "are you sleeping" "no" "same" "insomnia sucks" "fr" "hey do you wanna have sex maybe" "....why the hell not" sex feels soooo right with idia.......hes such a comfort loser character i love him he just like me fr except im not a genius im just stupid <3 he could fix me but not like in a change way but in a i might feel comfortable in my body and mind way.... oh i love him

baldia...

I am going to be so honest with you all. sometimes you send me asks that make even me- yes, me, tumblr user honeyhonest- flustered. I have to put them back in the inbox and let them sit for a few days so I can collect myself long enough to read them again

listen. I really. REALLY like friends to lovers. it's my favorite fanfiction-y trope ever. my favorite relationship dynamic. and yknow what. it's sexy!!!!!! the longing, the discomfort, the fear, the GUILT. HOT!!! it's really good with idia too. ofc slowburn is great but something about these- this- this "we should have sex" thing always really get to me. the implications. the impies. the trepidation and fear of rejection so he frames it as a joke, just a silly suggestion, maybe he can pass it off as a magicam meme or something. you going "...yeah, okay" and the complete awkwardness that ensues. not really knowing how to kiss even though you've imagined it 10,000 times (so many more points if someone's a virgin) bonking your heads together or scraping your teeth or something unpleasant that makes him sharply pull back. he probably has to take a breather before you can continue. it's nothing like his hentai games or even the normie porn he watched to prepare himself for this. it's suddenly So Real and no one knows what they're doing and he's afraid he's going to gross you out or scare you off and so he's being very slow and careful. THE IMPIES!!! what does it mean??? you don't talk about dating but there's a sort of unspoken understanding that you're not going to fuck anyone else after this, This is It. of course he's lowkey panicking because oh my god sex is scary. where DOES he put it in. and he's supposed to be ready but he isn't!!! he so isn't. if you have it in you he might appreciate you riding him so he doesn't freak out about being on top and messing something up U_U he'd end up stopping to pull out and cum on you and then he'd do his corny ass laugh and go "just like in hentai!!!!"

one good casual-friends-to-lovers I like is when two virgins decide they want to lose their virginity (not for any special reason, just so they're not virgins forever and can hopefully move on to be more experienced in future relationships) and since they're Right There with each other... yknow

[nightcolorz]

so funny that people are only simping this hard for Louis because he tells us every single episode he's the saddest most tragic serial killer in the land. Literally seeing people with my own eyes say Louis has experienced trauma and loss Armand can never imagine under gifs of Louis making fun of human trafficking and the palazzo attack.

Like obviously Armand is a deranged bbgirl torturing and manipulating those men for love!! But people treat it like it's a 1v1 pvp whoever has the weakest finishing move is the Objective Innocent Victim, like abusive relationships between two mass murderers aren't more complex than numerically tallying who you think has the most strength points at any given moment. like louis has barely been concealing his disdain for armand since they met. He gives armand NOTHING. all he does is recreate every shitty abusive act he's ever complained about other people doing to him and doing them to armand.

swear the only thing that man thinks about when armand shares his tragic backstory is embarrassment at finding out that the entire time he was bragging about how everyone in the avant-garde movement tooootally like his art more than Picasso, Armand had paintings in the louvre.

Cw iwtv typical sexual abuse talk and spoilers for iwtv s2

ur so right literally say that shit 🙏‼️ I love Louis and I honestly find it so gross ?? How some people act like Louis is only capable of being objectively the exclusive victim in any given situation or relationship. like it’s fucking weird that someone would reduce him so exclusively to victimhood bcus he was in an abusive relationship to point where theyd insist Louis is not capable of causing harm or being a complex flawed person beyond his victim hood. It takes away his agency and reduces everything that is interesting about his character to one dimensional victim which like, why would u die on that hill as someone who loves Louis’s character?? It’s once again, fucking weird. Louis has been presented to us from the beginning as capable of violence cruelty and selfishness, and him being abused by lestat doesn’t take away his capability of being cruel to Armand 💀 I think that some people were so attached to their assumption pre s2 that Armand would be lestat part 2 who is even more abusive that they refuse to accept or embrace the much more complex reality. Loumand is toxic but very much mutually so, there has been thus far nothing to suggest that Armand is forcing Louis to be with him or abusing him in anyway akin to how lestat abused Louis. Jacob Anderson has even spoken about how louis and Armand are mutually toxic and louis mistreats Armand 😭and louis being a fucked up person is like, smth I wouldn’t understand why anybody would want to deny, it’s very overt. And dying on the hill of “Louis is never ever bad” is like, very weird to me especially since Louis is like canonically capable of being sexually exploitative (literally a pimp) and violent and selfish. Like I love Louis!! In all his horribleness 🙏 and you can too believe me 😭

it’s also fucking weird to insist that Armand is always 100% being manipulative and abusive in everything he does towards Louis bcus, especially in the case of him talking about his trauma, it makes some rlly uncomfortable and gross implications?! Like, I’m not here to say that Armand is the most ideal partner of all time who does no wrong 💀 obviously, he’s pretty mf gaslighty and horrible and violent, but suggesting that what is presented non ambiguously as Armand being vulnerable with Louis about his sexual abuse trauma because louis wanted to know the real him is definitely abuse and manipulation is…like fucked up? 😭 like?? The jump to “oh this character I don’t like is talking about being sexually abused to his partner after having a conversation about how they aren’t vulnerable enough with each other, yes this is Manipulative” is genuinely kind of fucking insane I’m sorry 😭🙏 what Armand has been through is incredibly horrific and noticeably difficult for him to talk about and the assumption that since everything is black and white and Armand is bad he must be talking about this with evil intent is dumb and it’s ignorant. Like yes abuse victim talking about his abuse to his partner who explicitly asked for him to share that, wow that is so emotionally manipulative of him. What a hill to die on 🙏I hope u guys who think like this don’t think this way about ur friends when they vent to u cuz omg 😭

I guess my point with this is that I’ve noticed a lot of people in their refusal to interpret Louis as anything but unambiguously in the right all the time r being like unintentionally offensive and ignorant in a way that’s wild to me 😭 Like guuuys, you can love Louis and talk about how his relationship with Armand is bad for him and Armand harms him without insisting that Louis mockingly telling Armand that the man who groomed and raped him as a child “made him into a little bitch” was justified 😭. Also, friendly reminder that Louis’s daughter was raped and abused in a similar way that Armand was, which rlly goes to show imo how fucked up the way he treats Armand’s sexual abuse is. Like if he is so willing to say shit like that to Armand the moment they have an argument I imagine that his empathy for Claudia does not extend so far. He still was a pimp lol 🙏 and it’s been pretty overtly portrayed time and time again that living a good portion of his life having a position of power where he sexually exploits women for money has limited Louis’s perspective and capabilities for empathy for the people who have been sexually abused in his life 🙏 and guess what!! 😋 this is the horrible abusive murderer show, u can still love Louis (I do) while knowing he is horrible 🙏

thanks sm for the ask ‼️

[cemeteryspider]

Oh No!

Warnings: Heavy Sibling x Sibling implications. HL is gross and has an odd obsession with himself which will be a part of the story a little bit going forward. There will be nothing explicit but for reference Reader-Insert is of age and I'm thinking mid-twenties and Homelander is a little bit older since I'm pretty sure his age is never stated in the show. If you are looking for a Homelander x Reader THIS IS NOT IT!!!

Summary: You attend and event and try your best to sabotage yourself, Homelander, and Vought in the process.

Trigger Warnings: Abuse, Violence, Mental Health Issues, Controlling Relationships, Gross Sibling Relationship

Word Count: 785

Weeks passed and slowly you started recognizing yourself in the mirror again. You started with the small things at first like the old lipstick you pushed to the back of your cosmetics drawer because John said it made you look like a cheap hooker. Or the perfume he said invaded his nostrils and made him want to laser his own brain.

Still it wasn't enough to satisfy your insatiable need to piss off your brother and Vought International. So, you went all out. 

For the premiere of some stupid movie or other you wore a sheer dress with black lace swirls that left little to the imagination. Tall golden heels and had your makeup done by someone who did professional pornstars makeup. It made your back straighten and a real smile across your face for what felt like the first time in an eternity. You felt nothing like yourself, but at the same time you looked nothing like the mannequin Vought often used you as.

You loved it and hated it at the sametime. Nothing was going to get in the way of your night of crossing the line out from under Homelander and Vought’s shadow. Vought would later call this "little stunt", "unbecoming of America's number 2 supe", but you didn't care anymore. So you kept going above and beyond the outfit and makeup, you played the part of a ditzy beautiful drunk. 

More importantly you were showing the world you weren't John's little toy to play with nor were Vought's puppet they could make dance. You were someone with thoughts and feelings, and you were going to make sure the world did not forget this.

That night you were all over the big wigs in Hollywood, constantly drinking different drinks from dirty martinis to fruity pink cocktails to Miller Lite to get a buzz that your powers constantly wanted to stamp out. Walking around the party wondering who you would walk up to next, the man in the burgundy suit or the woman with diamond studded earrings. You felt intrigued by these regular people only here because of their lined pockets, and wanted to be able to know them and what their normal lives were like.

Still you went on, laughing too loudly at jokes made by people who didn't like you because they didn't know you. Drinking anything offered by anyone with a tray and casually avoiding your brother who seemed to be tailing you waiting for the right time to stop you from ruining the empire he and Vought had delicately built.

"You know," You slurred to an attractive woman on the red carpet, "We could make out higher than Vought Tower after this. You'd just need to hold on tight."

Her face flushed and you giggled at her sweet tomato red face. Then you felt a rough hand grip your upper arm tightly, "I think it's time to go."

You tried to wrench your arm out of his grip but nothing was working. Short of an all out fight you were not going to be able to free yourself, so you let him drag you out, grabbing a delicate glass of champagne on the way out the back, and waving to the pretty girl you had been flirting with for the past few minutes. 

"What the fuck do you think your doing. You're slobbering over our stockholders," He whisper-shouted at you once he dragged you out outside of the event by the dumpsters, but you just let a grin split your face in two.

"This is me John! You're just upset because I know exactly what I want and exactly who I want to be and you're not a part of either of those things. How does that feel, John? Not even your own genetic equal wants anything to do with you!" You full on shouted at him. Part of you hoped that a journalist was on the other side of the door recording the whole thing but you couldn't hear a heartbeat.

"You're drunk, Y/n. I'm not having this conversation with you. You're never going to get anything better than this," He scoffed and gestured to himself and the door. At this point the strong drinks were wearing off and leaving your system to deal with reality as it was and the puny flute of champagne was not cutting it anymore.

"No, John, I'm not. I'm done with this and I'm not going to be Vought's machine pumping out propaganda and fake saves anymore," He laughed in your face.

"Good luck with that. You're nothing without me." He took the door back to the event and you started to walk away.

"Yeah I guess we'll see about that."

[mitochondriaandbunnies]

Miami Vice S1E21: No One Lives Forever

Sonny's new girlfriend distracts him from his work; Rico hates her.

Where do I fucking start with this one

Okay. Crime. Let's start there.

The actual crime in this episode is so inconsequential that the criminals literally have no motive but "do crime," because that's not what the episode is about. The crime is mere set-dressing for the actual thematic core of the episode, which is "Sonny's Relationships." There will be a number of Sonny's Girlfriends episodes, especially in S3 when they were trying to Heterosexual It Up, but that's not what this one is (and Brenda gets to leave the storyline relatively unharmed, too, whereas the girlfriends in the Sonny's Girlfriends episodes... uhh... don't)

I'm really serious about how stupid the crime part of it is though

Death - the ULtiMat HiGH!

These dudes just drive around Miami jacking cars and shooting up hotdog stands, there is no nuance to it at all. I think this is the least nuanced portrayal of criminals in the entire series.

That's because the nuance is all stored in Tubbs' Roiling Jealousy Over Sonny's New Girlfriend. After we watch the crime idiots jack some cars, we cut to Sonny and Rico talking, and Rico spends about ten sentences complaining about how Sonny has been unavailable recently because of ~Brenda.~ He is so obviously uncool with Brenda that Sonny calls him out on it, asking if he's jealous (the implication being Sonny has misinterpreted the obvious jealousy as Tubbs wanting a Brenda of his own), and Rico, with absolutely not an ounce of sincerity in his voice, backtracks and is like PFFT. No. Falling in love is GREAT

Which like. Is not actually a response to Sonny's question

We meet Brenda canoodling with Sonny, and she asks him why his marriage ended. He dances around the question and asks her in return "who the ugliest guy she ever dated" was. They are very much not on the same page in terms of the seriousness of their relationship. Brenda is asking hard-hitting, "I'm thinking about our future together" questions, and Sonny is asking like... two girls giggling at a sleepover questions.

(I find this super interesting also from a "Sonny is heavily queercoded throughout the series" standpoint-- the "morning after" scene also has Sonny framed very much like women often are in media, waking up in someone else's bed and finding them already up and working out downstairs. Brenda is also significantly wealthier and more successful than he is, and a lot of their love scenes are filmed in a very soft, delicate way that positions them very equally. There's something especially about the scene where they're kissing in the pool, and we see both of their bare backs floating in the sun, that feels almost like we're watching two women. Considering Sonny has another dalliance with a short-haired blonde woman where he's very feminized at the beginning of S2, this feels very purposeful?)

Brenda is played by Kim Griest, who I know best as Kay Gallagher from Wiseguy. This is not what anyone else knows her best as.

Brenda is working out in Sonny's shirt, which she gives back to him all sweaty and gross, and that is the worst crime she commits (but let's be clear: it is a crime. Why would you put on someone else's clothes to work out??)

At the precinct, Gina asks Rico if he thinks the relationship "must be real." She is also clearly jealous, but sad instead of angry, and definitely not remotely aware that Tubbs is jealous. He is uncomfortable talking with her on the subject, makes a somewhat unkind joke at Sonny's expense ("Whatever that means"), and slithers out and away so he doesn't have to keep having this conversation.

"Eye contact is for losers"

Also, Rico and Gina have the theoretical potential to be really wonderful friends and allies as the senior members of the "Sonny uses me as an emotional crutch" club, but the writers never decide to go for that, and instead you get the sense that they just can't ever really be honest with each other and that's a bummer

Sonny and Rico go to make a bust and Sonny calls Brenda mid-mission, which is foolish and supposed to demonstrate how his mind isn't on his work. However, what I'm more interested in is how this phone call with Brenda mirrors two other Important Phone Calls With Women: when Sonny calls Brenda, he's not saying anything of consequence. He's cute and flirty, but that's about it. Then, when he realizes a shooting is going down, he doesn't hang up-- he runs out of the phone booth and quite literally leaves Brenda hanging. She hears gunshots and gets no explanation or closure on what is happening until much later. This is in direct contrast to the pilot, where Sonny's call to Caroline in the middle of the mission is completely vital. utterly heartfelt, and provides extremely needed closure. It is also in contrast to the last phone call he has with Caitlin in Deliver Us From Evil near the end of season four, where Caitlin calls him, tries to tell him something important, and he brushes her off and tells her he'll talk to her later. In all three cases, there's an intersection (and conflict) between his love life and work life: with Caroline he's confirming that even though ultimately he chose work over love, that their love was always real; with Brenda he's briefly choosing her over work and then realizing that's a mistake and ignoring her feelings completely; with Caitlin he seems to have given up on the idea of romance ever being successful and chooses work over her because that's just what he does. Vice states time and time again that there's no fixing the broken justice system from the inside, and that any so-called "good cop" will eventually destroy himself and/or all those around him; Sonny's inability to balance the case and Brenda foreshadows all his other relationships failing as well. Caroline only gets out unscathed because she chooses to divest herself completely from Sonny's world, and Sonny won't find peace until he does the same.

Gina shoots one last shot and Sonny turns her down pretty definitively, and the scene feels frankly like character assassination for Gina. The last time we saw them be at all "couple-y" was way back in episode 8, and even that was already after they'd had more than one "this is a bad idea and we shouldn't be doing it" conversation. Gina asks Sonny if he's "just keeping her around for a pitstop," but the show has not indicated they've been dating for what likely accounts for at least six months (and possibly up to a year) of in-universe time. As a result, her jealousy seems not like it's based in the solid and thoughtful characterization of Gina Calabrese, Vice Detective, but rather in hoary old gender stereotypes: she's a hysterical woman who somehow hasn't realized her relationship (if it ever even was a relationship) has been over for half a year. So when Sonny quietly and sadly responds with "that's not fair" (because if they haven't been dating for 12+ episodes, it's really not fair for her to say that-- she has no control or ownership over his love life at this point), he seems like he's in the right. I am certain this conversation was written by a heterosexual man, and I hate how much Gina's characterization gets worse every time the show decides to create romantic tension between her and Sonny. Gina deserves better, in-universe and out.

Then we cut immediately to Brenda asking Sonny if he and Tubbs have "been partners long." This scene alone deserves an essay; the long story short version is that Brenda asks Sonny if being cop partners is like a marriage, whether your partner always comes first (off the job and on), and whether or not he'd ever think of her as "his partner in crime." Sonny, notably, does not answer a single one of these questions directly. He deflects and jokes, hearkening back to her serious question about the dissolution of his marriage and his jokey response about "ugly guys."

This is his face before she asks if "his partner always comes first:"

Aaand this is his face after he processes what she's just asked him:

When he responds to that question with the ambiguous "Well, on the job...," Brenda looks like this:

And then Sonny follows up with saying he doesn't remember the last time he wasn't on the job, which is to say that he implies that yes, Rico does always come first. Like. Damn, Sonny. Maybe... try lying a little?

Izzy claims to be selling "Richard Gere's shoes" and wooden clogs, because why not

Tubbs tells Crockett his mind is elsewhere, and that he should "take a few days" to "get over whatever it is you need to get over," which is among the bitchiest things he says in the entire course of the show. Rico is usually very patient, cool-headed, and compassionate, but every once and a while he says something downright cruel, and when he does it's often with a smile. He strikes me as the sort of person who has learned and chosen to be good to people rather than someone who's nature is to be kind by default. When Sonny, who is a curmudgeon on the surface but fairly soft and naive on the inside, gets mad, he lashes out; when Rico, who is thoughtful and easy-going on the surface but surprisingly unsentimental inside, gets mad, he gets mean.

On the Dance, Brenda tells Sonny she thinks being there with him is paradise; he deflects and talks about smoking. Brenda asks about Sonny's "closeness" with his coworkers again, and he's weird about it; when she clarifies she's talking about "the woman cop" (Gina), Sonny ceases entirely to mince words like he had with Tubbs. The difference is stark; he's willing to explain to Brenda that yes, at once point he and Gina had sex. He's not willing to explain anything about his partnership with Tubbs-- and yet, Brenda talks like she knows Tubbs, and isn't entirely sure who Gina is, so we know he's talked lot more about Rico than Gina.

When Rico and Brenda do meet, Rico immediately tries to tank their relationship by throwing Sonny under the bus. He implies Sonny is an idiot and bad at his job, and basically tells Brenda she'll eventually leave him.

Okay. Brenda committed one more crime. It's this table:

Izzy continues wearing clogs

Tubbs continues being an enormous bitch, telling Sonny Brenda's not his type, and that his type is "the bearded lady at the circus." Jealousy looks really bad on you, Rico my broski. You are being so so mean to the guy you have a super obvious crush on.

He then asks Sonny to go to dinner with him; Sonny says no because he's got a date with Brenda, but they agree to meet at 6am for a stakeout. On their date, Brenda asks Sonny about marriage and he gets extremely uncomfortable and goes to bed alone when she asks about who their friends would be.

Either because a) he did not set an alarm and was relying on Brenda to wake him up on time, in which case he's a fucking idiot, or b) because he did set an alarm and Brenda turned it off, in which case she has no respect for Sonny at all, Sonny misses his 6am meeting with Rico and Rico gets the shit beat out of him.

Castillo puts Sonny on desk duty because Sonny is a fuck-up. He goes on a sad boat ride over which Red 7's Heartbeat plays to a montage of Brenda, beat up Rico, and disapproving Castillo.

On stakeout, Tubbs plays the saxophone (do we ever see him do that again?) and Gina is reading A Man for All Seasons, which I suppose is doing something as a parallel with regards to the moral repercussions of the dissolution of a relationship but I don't frankly feel enlightened enough on the Tudors to expound on that

Sonny breaks up with Brenda; his line is "you're a very special person and you mean a great deal to me," which is about as unromantic as you can get. Brenda calls what they had a "wonderful fantasy;" Sonny says he can't afford fantasies. They leave it vaguely open but absolutely do not continue dating-- we don't ever see Brenda again. (Good for her.)

Returning to the actual crime, the three Death is the Ultimat High idiots roll around in bed with their guns smashing radios, declare themselves out of money, and go off for another hot dog stand murder. They come upon the stakeout with Tubbs and Gina, and Tubbs is chased down and about to be killed when Sonny swoops in heroically at the last minute and saves him. They end the episode walking away with their arms around each other. Because, you know. Partnership marriage something something something.

Hear me out: I am not convinced Sonny is talking about Brenda when he says "he can't afford a fantasy." The one romantic relationship Sonny has in the series that involves grounded, real-life issues, and actually talking through things like an adult is his relationship with Caroline, which he chooses to have healthy closure regarding. Every other romantic relationship Sonny has is, to some extent a fantasy-- he dates a pop star, a surgeon, a madame-- even Gina is a kind of fantasy to Sonny, as a sweet and understanding always-available fallback. He actually can only afford a fantasy-- he's aware, to some extent, that a normal relationship with a normal woman is likely to end the same way it did with Caroline. Considering all of the very pointed parallels between Rico and Brenda, between "partnership" and "relationship," and knowing that we'll learn in the next episode that Sonny watched one of his best friends die because of his sexuality, I don't think it's wildly out there to think that maybe the fantasy Sonny truly can't afford is one where he can make his partner his number one priority, on and off the job, and be happy about it and accept himself for it. He knows he can't afford that particular fantasy because he's literally seen someone pay for it with his life.

Oh god this was so long

And I didn't even talk about the "department softball games" scene or the lyrics to Heartbeat

Help me

[bennie-jerry]

Supernatural Romances make NO sense - A Random Opinion

Here's the thing: As much as I enjoy these concepts or tropes, they don't make sense when you take the time to think about it. Don't believe me? Let's go down the list then.

Vampire romances: The concept of a vampire romance really doesn't make sense when you take just five minutes to add all the aspects together.

Sure, it can be intriguing or whatever (especially if there’s a unique way in which the premise is handled), but let's really boil down the contents of its true implications here.

A vampire is a creature that feeds on human blood. Vampire romances USUALLY (not all the time, but usually) involve a vampire falling for a human rather than a vampire falling for another vampire.

Let me say this again. Vampire, which eats humans---then has stories where they then fall for humans.

That's like a chupacabra hooking up with a goat. What sense does it make for a creature to fall in love with something it usually tends to eat?

Even if the said predator of this relationship has no intention of eating their mate or harming them---would you, as a rational person, feel comfortable knowing that your partner has to harm YOUR species and eat them for their own survival? I highly doubt it.

"Oh, I know you kill people and drink their blood, but I know you won't kill ME! I'm just DIFFERENT--"

It literally makes no sense.

Zombie romances: Zombie romances make even less sense to me. Because now instead of a creature that simply wants your blood, it’s a creature that quite literally wants to rip your stomach open and eat your intestines like Twizzlers.

At least with a vampire, you could just have IV blood bags for them to drink to put off their thirst for a WHILE. But when it comes to zombies, they literally rely on eating the WHOLE entirety of the human.

Once again, it’s like a chupacabra dating a goat. Oh, but what if the zombie doesn’t want to eat or harm their partner?

Well, then we get into even more ethically concerning details on the human’s part. Because aren’t zombies walking corpses that eat people? And if a human is willing to date or become uh…'entangled’ with a zombie, isn’t that a form of necrophilia since the zombie is literally just a man-eating corpse? 

Sure, we could argue whether or not zombies are living or non-living. But let's be honest here: the majority of the time, zombies do not look cute. They are rotting parts of their bodies, they look dead, they smell horrible, they’re covered in blood, and sometimes missing a limb or two. If you’re unironically attracted to that in real life or something (not including those who JUST like the stories for the stories), you are mentally ill—there’s no way around it for me. You are attracted to something that looks like a corpse. That in itself is necrophilia and it’s honestly gross from an incredibly literal standpoint.

Even if the zombie were to look like some cutesy/idealistic anime character or something, it still doesn't change the fact that this thing's practically DEAD.

Sure, like vampire romances, it could be interesting depending on the intricacies of the story. But it still makes no sense when you write it down on paper. Wow, you’re dating a creature that looks dead and has to fight off the urge to eat people every single second they're on this planet. How quirky. 

Ghost romances: Ghost romances also don’t make sense on paper. Now, this one is a bit more loose in my opinion since ghost archetypes are often experimented with in terms of what they can do or not do. It’s just one of those things where it really depends on the story world and the premise it's placed in. However, from the very cultural and general stance of how ghosts work, they can’t touch anything (except when it's to conveniently scare people, so even then, their intangibility is transient) and they can’t age. 

I’m sorry, but aren’t the driving points of a romance being able to see the characters display affection and/or get old together? And if a ghost can’t touch anything, what’s the point in being romantically involved with someone you can’t kiss? I get there’s long distance relationships, but if they’re in the same room with you—why would you want that? 

Even if the subject of physical intimacy wasn’t an issue, there’s still the prospect of aging. Because if your boo (pun intended) died young and is a ghost, that means they’re physically stuck at that age forever. Even if they were to be centuries older than you, wouldn’t it be weird to see some elderly person smooching on a young looking supernatural?

Let me put it like this. A human woman at 25 years old is in a relationship with a male ghost. The said male ghost died at 30. Sure, she could get away with dating him for another five or ten years, but eventually, the human woman ages in appearance physically and looks older than her ghost partner. And if she lives long enough, she’s gonna be 80 while her boo still looks 30. You’re seriously telling me that DOESN’T look weird from the outside? Wouldn't you be weirded out if some super old person was smooching up with someone decades younger than them?

At that point, to avoid any oddities, you’d be better off killing yourself in whatever spot they’re stuck to so you wouldn’t have to worry about aging out of proportion in the relationship (and if not aging, then to touch them). That sounds like a lot more work than it’s worth.

Werewolf romances: Werewolf romances are the only sort of supernatural romance I could possibly get behind—and even then, it’s still highly dependent on how the said story chooses to handle the workings of lycanthropy. 

At least with this partner, they most likely can turn humans who won’t HAVE to kill you out of survival. You don’t have to be sorry about some super weird complex age gap. And you can touch them. Sounds like a pretty decent basis so far. BUT there’s always a catch.

A werewolf is (duh) a person who can turn into a wolf (or wolf-like monster). When it comes to these beings, it really is a roll of the dice. Because some versions will make them seem they have no thought process or control at all—whereas others give them complete control. So to call a werewolf automatically dangerous to the well being of their human partner is rather tough to say off the bat. Though, I do know that all of that fur that sheds off of them will be annoying to deal with (and that’s not even counting all of the things they might chew up---like your shoes).

And while I would be inclined to agree that being in a relationship with a werewolf could most definitely be a form of beastiality, at the very LEAST a werewolf can revert back into a human the majority of the time. So as long as you’re only doing stuff with them as a human, you should technically be fine, right?

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I still don’t find much appeal in becoming romantically involved with someone who can become some giant creepy wolf abomination, but at least there’s SOME things in there you COULD manipulate depending on which universe you land into.

Overall, while I do think supernatural romances are indeed a fun concept (and I DO tend to enjoy some of these stories), there’s no way in HECK I think they’re ACTUALLY plausible (unless you add some major--MAJOR--plot armor).