#the boys homelander fanfic
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Homelander being obsessed with his sister HC II
Warnings: heavy siblingxsibling implications, Homelander being such a narcissist that he falls in "love" with his own sibling, dubcon, noncon, manipulation, stalking, basically all the horrible parts of HL come out to play, MC has blonde hair and blue eyes like HL, different plot than 'All I Ever Wanted, All I Ever Needed', kidnapping
I III IV V
Mother fucker would definitely find a way to lock you up in his personal apartment. It’s not easy to keep a supe that had the same powers as him as a captive. Through trial and error, Homelander would find a way to keep you hidden. His little secret
Has major mood change at work and a new skip in his step. All smiles and syrupy sweet voice.
Your parents and friends would go into immediate action to try and find you.
HL installs motion detector cameras throughout his apartment to keep an eye on you when he’s too far away. If anything happened, he knew he could be there in a flash
All day you were forced to wait for him until he got off of work (though does a hero ever really have time off?), like a pet. During that time all you could do was stare at the tv that HL had kindly turned on for you.
Of course you'd tried to escape in the beginning. But HL was faster than you.
Bored out of your mind from the constant stream of tv, you'd manage to wiggle over to the box that Homelander had shown you your first day there. You had time to really look at the contents though it was difficult without the free use of your hands. There were pictures of you as a little girl with your mom and dad. Lo and behold, you even found a picture of you on a young HL lap. Documents upon documents with Vought's stamp on them had you accepting the truth that HL was indeed your blood brother.
Homelander gives up trying to jog your memory once you inform him that you really don't remember much growing up. But you acknowledge him as being your sibling by blood.
"I believe you, but this doesn't condone kidnapping and keeping me here, Homelander." You countered, still not understanding why he went through all of this trouble. Just because you were his sister? That seemed too outrageous to you. Then again, you still didn't really know the real Homelander.
He corrects you. "John. You can call me John." He'd told you that several times but you just couldn't bring yourself to say such a simple name to this legend of a man.
Honestly, the whole abduction thing was a spur of the moment idea but once he found himself in the air with you in his arms, he made the decision that he was going to keep you to himself whether you liked it or not. That was the only way to make sure you wouldn't forget him again or leave him.
And some morbidly twisted feeling was growing inside of him every time he looked at you. You were perfect. Like he was. He talked himself into thinking that this was okay, that he was always meant for someone who was just as perfect as he was. And who better than you who has the same genetic mockup as he did.
He'd tell you all of this like it was the most simplest thing in the world. You gape at him in horror at his grotesque explanation.
Unnerve and discontent raised the hairs up on the back of your neck. What he'd said sounded a lot like him talking about incest. That roiled your stomach, making you feel sick.
He hated the fear he smelled on you in that moment, Homelander even pulls back from you and puts you at arm's length. You hate how he reduced you to someone so helpless. You also hate how much he really scares you.
Swallowing something thick in his throat, HL looks away from you with what you could only read as disgust. Maybe at you? Not for you though. For himself. He'd scared you and that was enough to shame him.
He'd mutter out an incredibly soft apology before leaving his apartment.
I'm thinking that as long as I have HC ideas of this, that I'll just be adding parts whenever the feeling strikes 🙂
#reader insert#reader insert fanfiction#homelander fic#homelander fanfiction#the boys homelander x reader#homelander x reader#homelander headcanons#the boys tv#the boys fanfic#the boys amazon#the boys imagine#the boys x reader#the boys tv x reader#the boys homelander#the boys homelander fanfic#the boys homelander fanfiction#the boys fandom#the boys tv fandom#the boys series
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Oh No!
Warnings: Heavy Sibling x Sibling implications. HL is gross and has an odd obsession with himself which will be a part of the story a little bit going forward. There will be nothing explicit but for reference Reader-Insert is of age and I'm thinking mid-twenties and Homelander is a little bit older since I'm pretty sure his age is never stated in the show. If you are looking for a Homelander x Reader THIS IS NOT IT!!!
Summary: You attend and event and try your best to sabotage yourself, Homelander, and Vought in the process.
Trigger Warnings: Abuse, Violence, Mental Health Issues, Controlling Relationships, Gross Sibling Relationship
Word Count: 785
Weeks passed and slowly you started recognizing yourself in the mirror again. You started with the small things at first like the old lipstick you pushed to the back of your cosmetics drawer because John said it made you look like a cheap hooker. Or the perfume he said invaded his nostrils and made him want to laser his own brain.
Still it wasn't enough to satisfy your insatiable need to piss off your brother and Vought International. So, you went all out.
For the premiere of some stupid movie or other you wore a sheer dress with black lace swirls that left little to the imagination. Tall golden heels and had your makeup done by someone who did professional pornstars makeup. It made your back straighten and a real smile across your face for what felt like the first time in an eternity. You felt nothing like yourself, but at the same time you looked nothing like the mannequin Vought often used you as.
You loved it and hated it at the sametime. Nothing was going to get in the way of your night of crossing the line out from under Homelander and Vought’s shadow. Vought would later call this "little stunt", "unbecoming of America's number 2 supe", but you didn't care anymore. So you kept going above and beyond the outfit and makeup, you played the part of a ditzy beautiful drunk.
More importantly you were showing the world you weren't John's little toy to play with nor were Vought's puppet they could make dance. You were someone with thoughts and feelings, and you were going to make sure the world did not forget this.
That night you were all over the big wigs in Hollywood, constantly drinking different drinks from dirty martinis to fruity pink cocktails to Miller Lite to get a buzz that your powers constantly wanted to stamp out. Walking around the party wondering who you would walk up to next, the man in the burgundy suit or the woman with diamond studded earrings. You felt intrigued by these regular people only here because of their lined pockets, and wanted to be able to know them and what their normal lives were like.
Still you went on, laughing too loudly at jokes made by people who didn't like you because they didn't know you. Drinking anything offered by anyone with a tray and casually avoiding your brother who seemed to be tailing you waiting for the right time to stop you from ruining the empire he and Vought had delicately built.
"You know," You slurred to an attractive woman on the red carpet, "We could make out higher than Vought Tower after this. You'd just need to hold on tight."
Her face flushed and you giggled at her sweet tomato red face. Then you felt a rough hand grip your upper arm tightly, "I think it's time to go."
You tried to wrench your arm out of his grip but nothing was working. Short of an all out fight you were not going to be able to free yourself, so you let him drag you out, grabbing a delicate glass of champagne on the way out the back, and waving to the pretty girl you had been flirting with for the past few minutes.
"What the fuck do you think your doing. You're slobbering over our stockholders," He whisper-shouted at you once he dragged you out outside of the event by the dumpsters, but you just let a grin split your face in two.
"This is me John! You're just upset because I know exactly what I want and exactly who I want to be and you're not a part of either of those things. How does that feel, John? Not even your own genetic equal wants anything to do with you!" You full on shouted at him. Part of you hoped that a journalist was on the other side of the door recording the whole thing but you couldn't hear a heartbeat.
"You're drunk, Y/n. I'm not having this conversation with you. You're never going to get anything better than this," He scoffed and gestured to himself and the door. At this point the strong drinks were wearing off and leaving your system to deal with reality as it was and the puny flute of champagne was not cutting it anymore.
"No, John, I'm not. I'm done with this and I'm not going to be Vought's machine pumping out propaganda and fake saves anymore," He laughed in your face.
"Good luck with that. You're nothing without me." He took the door back to the event and you started to walk away.
"Yeah I guess we'll see about that."
#the boys tv#the boys fanfic#the boys amazon#the boys imagine#the boys x reader#the boys tv x reader#the boys homelander#the boys homelander fanfic#the boys homelander fanfiction#the boys fandom#the boys tv fandom#the boys series
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I WANT TO F**K YOU LIKE AN ANIMAL .
( black noir x fem supe!reader )
summary: the not-so-innocent things that go on in noir’s head abt you during The Seven meetings (wc: 1.8k)
warnings: MDNI, dub-con, rough p in v, doggy style, primal play themes, size kink, gagging, sobbing, corruption kink, Homelander being a weirdo at the end… just a lil’
first fic on this blog and I lowkey hate it- ughhh sorry if it’s all over the place!
The morning sun cast its golden glow upon the Manhattan skyline as The Seven assembled in their meeting room.
Homelander paced before them, detailing some new initiative he had conceived, but his words rang as emptily as the void behind his eyes. The Deep hung on his every syllable, eager as ever to prove his ass-kissing self with poorly-timed quips. This earned him nothing but a withering side-eye.
A-Train and Maeve listened with feigned interest, checking out of the conversation all but in body. Noir sat apart, idly fidgeting with a pen as his mind wandered. But his attention was drawn not to the usual faces, for there was a new supe among them—you, the latest fresh-faced recruit to their team.
On the surface, you appeared the absolute picture of attention—eyes forward, laser focused on Homelander as he tiresomely outlined the team's objectives.
It was cute, really, how focused the newbies always strived to be. Yet beneath the facade, you were actually anything but so, not when you felt an unseen gaze assessing you, weighing you.
Flicking your eyes discreetly aside, you confirmed a suspicion you could smell from miles away: Noir watching from across the table, his expression shrouded as ever behind the visor of his helmet.
Ugh, talk about creepy.
A subtle flutter of your eyelids shifted your line of sight, choosing to trust that his thousand-yard stare just so casually happen to drift your way and not an attempt to burn his gaze into your very soul.
Besides, what else could the guy possibly think about? Training, orders from Vought, simple pastimes—usually, such painfully mundane, run-of-the-mill thoughts occupied him.
But little did you know in this moment, as he studied your presence from afar, his mental reflections took a turn less… innocent.
─────────────────
“N-Noir… mmph-… please…”
It wasn’t his doing, he didn’t ask to be plagued with this sickly obsession; but every time he heard your voice, it was as if sweet, smooth-spun sugar had come alive.
An alien lust scorched Noir’s consciousness, catapulting his fevered mind into unfamiliar territory. Try as he might, he couldn’t shake the sinful thoughts that stubbornly stuck to him like glue. Just the mere notion of ever being responsible for those pretty little sounds was enough for arousal to creep through his veins like a nasty virus, sapping what was left of his crumbling self-control.
Your every whine, your every moan, would be a siren's call that beckoned him to claim you, to strip away your composure until you were utterly, helplessly his. All he craved was to watch the light in your eyes dwindle, to witness your breaths dampening into shallow puffs of air that blanketed your gaze in a veil of fog, gradually muffling you into a stillness even quieter than he was.
And truthfully, it wasn’t a matter of whether you liked it or not.
Noir would ensure his touch left no room for refusal, his grasp iron-hard as he positioned your trembling, naked body on the floor to his liking—face pinned down, ass arched up, just as it should be. Yet even as he held you fast with a palm braced against your sweat-slicked spine, his other hand moved with a surprising tenderness, gently teasing loose and brushing apart the knotted strands of hair clung to your ruddied features.
He imagined the merest of touches would set your blood aflame, rumbling up a ripe groan from your core. “…Oh m-my god… fuck…” words fled your mouth on airless breaths, nearly inaudible but still enough for him to catch. In response, he’d slowly lift a finger to your glistening lips, accompanied by a soundless ‘shh’—a signal for you to behave.
After all, good girls should never cuss.
Large, strong hands would then greedily paw at the lush fat of your ass cheeks, the scratchy textured fabric of his gloves leaving blooms of red across your flesh. Spreading you open, he’d admire the way your juicy, moist folds parted slightly, the aching emptiness within your entrance eliciting an involuntary clenching—your muted moans, trapped in your throat, acting as a wordless plea for more of his touch, more of him.
He liked to think you’d be mere putty in his hands, before he was even close to fucking you.
Noir would take his sweet time exploring you, his curiosity of the human form eclipsing the immediate need to quell a white-hot carnal desire every red-blooded man gets. He was good at rearranging people’s insides, literally, but what if he flipped the script in a much different way?
Experimentally, he’d run the very tip of his gloved finger along the weeping slit of your sex, ghosting ever so lightly over your swollen, hypersensitive clit to collect your slick arousal. Then, without warning, he’d dip an entire digit into your quivering depths, reveling in the way your spongy muscles squeezed and welcomed him in.
Your breath would hitch at the intrusion, skin prickling with a visceral need as you eagerly shoved your rear back against his palm, craving more. However, just as swiftly, he would withdraw his hand, bringing it close to his face to observe it covered in your juices, inspecting how the slimy, milky-white essence connected a trail between his fingers.
Who knew light fondling and agonizing silence was all the foreplay you needed? (or at least, in Noir’s fanciful pornographic depictions of you)
Once done playing with his food, he’d drag his knees closer to your body, his hips flush against your ass, leaving your peripheral vision filled with nothing but his imposing, darkly-clad figure dwarfing your own. Without hesitation, he’d reach down to remove the codpiece off him, freeing his hefty cock which sprang forth in the air, where it stood rock-hard, veiny, and impossibly large.
Wrapping a hand around himself, the thickly-roped, buzzing veins were betrayed by each gritty pull of his glove, drawing a guttural grunt from behind his balaclava. He’d guide his erection between your warm folds, the engorged ridge of his tip prodding against your bundle of nerves, sending electric jolts of pleasure to crackle through your core, before he began to sheathe himself inside you with a push that drove him home.
With a grip possessive and firm around your waist, Noir quickly fell into a steady, almost robotic rhythm of sturdy pushes and pulls. Each punishing collision of your bodies was answered by the lewd, rapid sounds of skin-on-skin, making damn sure you felt every single inch of him as he rutted into you like a man possessed.
He’d only hope to see you struggle taking him all in, envisioning how the sheer scale of his size forced the very air out from your gasping lungs.
“P-Please Noir!… ngh-… my body can’t handle this much,” your once-lovely voice now ragged and frail, scraping sobs grinding your vocal cords near silence as you churned and coiled like a fawn caught in the clutches of a big, bad wolf. “Be gentle, I’m begging you!—-” You choked out weakly, bordering on a soft, pitiful whine.
Expectantly, a weighted silence followed suit from Noir. In his typical, unsparing fashion, he slipped a glove from his hand, jamming it into your mouth and effectively gagging you into silence, as if to say—pipe down, be a good girl, and take my cock like you’re supposed to.
Even without a single word uttered by him, it worked like absolute fucking magic.
Your torso would practically collapse under the onslaught, wobbly limbs giving way as you let Noir use your arched up, offering form like a personal fleshlight. His hips would retract further back in an excruciating slowness, simply marveling at your wetness coating the base of his member like a second skin, only to slam back into you with raw vigor.
Your tight, gummy walls would be offered absolutely no time to adjust to the relentless invasion of his girth, the sheer thickness of his cock forcefully stretching out your cunt to shape him, to the point it felt like he was trying to split you into two.
He’d yank your flexing thighs back to meet his brutal series of thrusts, burying himself into you to the very tilt as the fleshy head of his cock kissed your cervix, igniting a searing white bolt of static to lance through your vision, momentarily fracturing it.
The all-consuming, dizzying sensation hit you like a ton of bricks, toppling your senses and wrenching a strangled sob out from your slack jaw once more. This earned you another biting touch from Noir’s thumbs pressed into your sides, as if seeking to wring every gasp out of your chest, to hear your moans rattle through your ribcage.
However even your rawest cries were swiftly muffled, swallowed by the balled-up glove shoved roughly between your teeth, which reduced you to nothing more than a gagging, pleasure-drunk whore for him to claim.
─────────────────
Meanwhile…
“Welp, that about covers it for today,” Homelander announced with a thunderous clap, loud enough for it to ring through Noir’s ears and bring him back to the present.
Slowly, Noir spun his head back towards Homelander, who had just finished addressing the team while his own thoughts drifted to places where even the pearly gates of heaven wouldn't give him the time of day.
“Now shoo- and no more sloppy behavior. I’ll be keeping an eye on each and every one of you.” Homelander dismissed them with a casual wave and a chuckle laced with another one of his thinly veiled threats.
As everyone, including little-miss-oblivious-you, got up to leave the meeting room, Homelander sauntered over to Noir, heartily slapping a heavy hand onto his back. “Earth to Noir! I know that look—thoughts a million miles away behind that sphinx-like mask of yours,” giving a sly little shrug, he slanted a meaningful look towards Noir’s codpiece. “But methinks, someone here isn’t as impenetrable as I thought…” A thin wry smile played his lips, a subtle hint at his x-ray vision allowing him to see a particular something-something of Noir’s that was currently just as hard as his body armor.
“It might do you good to line that suit with zinc. Wouldn't want any unwanted eyes peeking where they shouldn’t, do we?" An amused exhale, part sigh part snicker, slipped out of Homelander as his gaze swept over Noir once more.
True to form, all he received in turn was Noir’s standard muteness, as soundless as a grave.
Homelander eased the quiet with a huffed laugh, rocking back on his heels as he tilted his head in playful study of Noir. "But don't worry," he added with a knowing smirk, "it happens to the best of us. But do try to keep your head in the game! And not with your other one, ‘kay buddy?” Homelander jested in mock-reproach as he landed one last waggish, firm slap between Noir's shoulders, flashing his gleaming white yet eerily pointed grin.
Noir remained statue still, no hint of feeling betrayed by his rigid posture despite the toe-curling awkwardness of the encounter, or perhaps he'd yet to fully realize Homelander had peered within and seen his aching, raging hard-on behind the suit's facade.
Noir silently watched Homelander shoot two playful finger guns, his cape swirled shut behind him before leaving the room.
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Pssst- Likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated in this household and keep me motivated! <3
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Apologies if there are any grammatical errors here, cuz I’m alr so done with this fic 😭😭😭
#the boys#the boys fandom#the boys tv#the boys amazon#the boys series#the boys fanfic#the boys smut#the boys x y/n#the boys x you#the boys x reader#the boys black noir#black noir smut#black noir x you#black noir x reader#black noir#black noir fanfiction#homelander#homelander x reader#homelander x y/n#homelander x you#homelander smut#the boys homelander#homelander fanfiction#billy butcher x you#billy butcher smut#billy butcher x reader#soldier boy#soldier boy x reader#soldier boy smut
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corinthianism's fic recs
here are my personal favorite fanfics! idk how often i'll update this, but i hope you like them as much as i do :) *indicates smut
last updated: march 26, 2024
MARVEL
loki laufeyson - from the void, with love — by whirlybirbs (my fav fanfic of all time!!! i think about this fic several times in a day bro) - riptide — by starks-hero - the tailor* (series) — by birdofhermes (ao3) - time after time (series) — by goldencherriess (ao3) - a friend from work — by cozy_the_overlord (ao3)
thor odinson - god of fertility* (request) — by charnelhouse - highway don't care (but i do, i do)* (part one, part two, part three) — by spacelabrathor
peter parker (andrew garfield) - agree to disagree — by delicate-dorothea - nerdy peter (request) — by webslingingslasher - good boy x bad girl trope (request) — by webslingingslasher - hold you here, my loveliest friend* — by p3mybeloved - your friendly neighborhood sensitive spider* — by jin0 - glad you're home — by withahappyrefrain - the mechanics of a soul — by irndad - 3 is the magic number* — by withahappyrefrain - crush — by ptersparkers - as it goes — by forever-rogue - here comes the sun (part one, part two, part three) — by withahappyrefrain - stability, reciprocity, and a romance for the ages (series) — by privateanxieties (ao3 - need an account to read)
steven grant (moon knight) - hold me close — by stormkobra-5 - gift of min* — by astroboots - puzzles* — by stormkobra-5 - first time* — by luvpedropascal - domestic adonis* — by peterman-spideyparker - where it starts — by silversweetpea - fallen from heaven, grown on earth* (series) — by davosmymaster (ao3) - call me poe* — by kittyfandom (ao3) - elemental — by batsingotham (ao3) - the boy with the thorn in his side — by eating_flowers (ao3)
marc spector (moon knight) - not him — by loud-mouth-loser - it's worth it, it's divine* — by the-archxr - i'm getting to know someone — by davosmymaster (ao3)
wade wilson (deadpool) - tea and sympathy (series) — by bucketsoffrogs (ao3)
SHERLOCK (BBC)
sherlock holmes - your hidden strength — by okay-j-hannah - sublime dexterity* (part one, part two) — by daydreamtofiction - literally everything by starks-hero
SUPERNATURAL
sam winchester - playing house (part one, part two) — by uncouth-the-fifth - baby i'll stay (heaven can wait) — by uncouth-the-fifth - move over.* — by ggwritesstuff - where's your head at?* — by beau55515 - birthdays: sam winchester style* — by karleekarma (ao3) - the comforts of home — by zepskies - under the hood* — by shawslut
dean winchester - whether you like it or not — by kbeautimous (ao3) - reading you wrong — by zepskies - cherished — by thatonewriter15 (ao3) - soft touch — by wearywinchester - i love her, that's why* — by kaleldobrev - drivin' me crazy* — by lis-likes-fics
castiel - salt n' lick* — by aperfectgrace (ao3) - a bite of apple pie (series) — by ac_deanc (ao3)
THE SANDMAN
the corinthian - bring me a dream* (series, ongoing) — by placeinthemiddleofnowhere - nihil — by lis-likes-fics
dream/morpheus - sweet dreams (are made of this) — by stranger-nightmare
CRIMINAL MINDS
aaron hotchner - from eden — by heliotropehotch - gold star — by honeypiehotchner - love, an abstract concept — by luveline - honeymoon phase* (series) — by hotchsbitch (ao3)
THE BOYS
soldier boy (he's absolutely horrible but so. so. hot.) - break me down* (series) — by zepskies (go read their other stuff too!) - talk to me — by zepskies
homelander (also absolutely horrible. would sleep with him.) - if i can't have you — by watchstarscollide - milky white* — by after-witch
GAME OF THRONES
jaime lannister - i'm not made by design — by ichorai (this legitimately changed my brain chemistry)
STAR WARS
obi-wan kenobi - like turning on the light* — by full-time-make-believer (deactivated acc) (this also changed the trajectory of my life) - where it wasn't* — by 221bshrlocked - your thoughts are loud — by spidersbane - empty me out* — by 221bshrlocked - house of memories* (series) — by meshlasolus - bad idea, right?* (series) — by mischiefling (ao3) - you make me feel like dancing — by saradika (ao3) - it's a wonderful lie — by firstofficerwiggles (ao3) - temptation's kiss — by karasong (ao3) - you make my dreams* — by wickedscribbles (ao3) - like a living mirage — by karasong (ao3) - broken drought* — by rosalindbeatrice (ao3) - never grow up — by doihavetoloseyoutoo (ao3) - never ending story — by kybercrystal (ao3) - volveré* — by kxnobi (ao3)
din djarin (the mandalorian) - the savior* (part one, part two, part three) — by dindjiarin - significant — by softlyspector - touching din — by archieimagines - uncharted territory* — by pedrito-friskito - creed* — by wheresarizona - home is wherever i'm with you* (part one, part two, part three) — by saradika
DRACULA (BBC)
count dracula - the székely* (series) — by theplumsoldier
LOTR/THE HOBBIT
thranduil oropherion - a boon* (series) — by inksplots (ao3) - beauty and the beast (series) — by tamurilofrivendell (ao3)
DOCTOR SLEEP
dan torrance - of monsters and men* — by helaintoloki & obitwo - domestic life (headcanons) — by thornsinmycrown - smut alphabet* — by daincrediblegg
#corinthianism fic rec#fanfic rec#tasm peter parker x reader#steven grant x reader#marc spector x reader#loki x reader#thor x reader#sam winchester x reader#dean winchester x reader#castiel x reader#the corinthian x reader#soldier boy x reader#homelander x reader#thranduil x reader#dracula x reader#jaime lannister x reader#aaron hotchner x reader#deadpool x reader#sherlock holmes x reader#supernatural#obi wan kenobi x reader#dan torrance x reader#star wars fanfic#reader insert#x reader
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A Smile From Hell
[Homelander x Female!Reader]
Synopsis: Despite the amount of unpredictability The Homelander has, he still catches you off guard with something as small as a smile.
WC: 3576
Category: Angst, Supe!Reader {TW — Homelander for obvi reasons}
In honor of Season 4’s weekly releases, this one is for the Antony Starr girlies (and you @summerrivera777777)
『••✎••』
John fucking terrified you.
He terrified everyone, really.
He had the power to level an entire city block with a glance. He was strong enough to crush a man's skull with one hand and fast enough to catch a bullet. He was an unstoppable force of nature. He was The Homelander, and he was a threat to anyone who stood in his way.
But, the thing was...
You knew everything about him. Everything.
And he absolutely despised that, but there was nothing he could do to change it. You had seen him at his most vulnerable and pathetic. You had seen his humanity, it’s amazing he still has any after the way Vought has abused him, and you had seen his inhumanity.
Jessica, or Sister Sage, had confronted you on several occasions, trying to get you to tell her your secrets. She wanted the upper hand on her arch nemesis, the only one in the world who was a threat to her. It was her mission to end the reign of the superhero she hated most, and she was willing to do anything for it.
You could see right through her, and you didn’t need magnificent amounts of intelligence to do so. You could see the fear in her eyes. You could see the doubt in her face, hear the strain in her voice, feel her uneasiness when she was near him.
John knew it, too. He just simply chose to ignore it. He had grown used to being the scariest man in the room. It’s been that way his whole life, and it seemed it was going to stay that way.
But, despite all that fear, she came to you for answers. Again.
And this time, the question was a simple one. It was so simple, yet completely understandably complicated.
How are you allowed to live?
That was a question that stumped you. It took you a long time to grasp the meaning of it, the specific answer she was looking for.
After a few clarifications, you finally understood what she meant.
She wanted to know why John allowed you to live. She wanted to know why he hadn’t killed you. She wanted to understand why you were the only person alive after calling him by his name.
Not his stage name, his real name.
For being the most intelligent person on the planet, you’d think that she’d be able to understand it. I mean, the answer was right there, in front of her face. She didn't need to be a genius to figure it out; all she needed was a little more insight.
A little bit of understanding.
"Respect," you said, your voice soft. Your words were clear, though, and she heard them perfectly.
The confusion on her face was evident, as was her disbelief.
"What?"
"It's respect. Anyone I respect is someone that deserves my respect."
She snorted.
"Right," she said. "Like he could actually respect anything other than himself."
"He's capable of it if that's what you're thinking," you told her. "And this isn’t about him respecting me; it's about me respecting him."
She narrowed her eyes at you, her suspicion rising.
"Why would you respect him?" she questioned. "You're not blind; you know exactly who he is."
Yes, you did. You knew more than most, and compared to The Seven now, you probably knew the most. His actions? Completely unredeemable. He was, in fact, a monster; there was no arguing that. He was a horrible, twisted, monstrous individual; no one would deny it.
His actions weren’t excusable, but he had an explanation. A reason for why he was the way he was.
He wasn’t born a monster; he was turned into one. That… that was the respect part. You respected him because you respected his story. You respected his pain. You respected his anger.
You respected his past; anything after that was on him.
"I don’t like using stage names to those I respect enough, so I call him John. He allows it because he knows I don’t mean it the way others would if they used his name; it doesn't hold the same power with me."
She rolled her eyes at you.
"Same goes for you, Jessica; I have no desire to call you Sister Sage."
Her flinch was barely visible, but you still caught it. Again, what is intelligence if not knowing the chances of a particular outcome?
"I’ve noticed you don’t call Deep or that fire chick by their real names."
You just smiled, leaving her to solve that answer for herself, and it didn’t take long at all. You knew the exact moment she came up with a conclusion. She was quite predictable, in that regard. Maybe you should’ve been the big-brained hero instead.
And now, you really should’ve been because when you turned down the hall, catching wind of the elevator doors opening, you knew he had listened to it all.
But you didn’t say anything, and you really didn’t say anything after a simple glance at him.
He was completely drenched in blood, a look that would terrify even the toughest of men. But not you, oh no, you were very used to that. He’s done a lot worse.
Besides, you were too distracted by the fact that the blood wasn't his. Too distracted by noticing how this time was different. He was smiling, but it wasn’t his usual cruel smile. This time, it was genuinely happy.
Relief, almost.
It reminded you of the night you two bonded. No, not that type of bond. The bond that told you both that you weren’t alone.
He had a friend, but he wasn’t really your friend. You don’t believe you could ever consider him one. Not really, not with the things he has done.
But, still, you were the closest thing he had to a friend. You were the closest he had to an equal, a person he could relate to. Jessica carried the same intelligence (obviously a lot more), but the similarities between the two of them stopped there.
You had a similar history but different outcomes.
And that reveal between the two of you happened that night. This was way back, even before Starlight joined. Back when The Seven was in its prime.
Stillwell threw a party, something she always loved to do before Teddy became her focus. It was the usual: people in fancy dresses and suits, lots of champagne and liquor.
The difference, however, was the main focal point. Usually, given Vought’s status, all of The Seven members were the main event. Everyone was mandated to wear their hero outfits. It was a great way to advertise and get people to buy more of the products.
The theme this time, however, wasn’t about the group. It wasn’t about any of you. For the first time in a long while, John wasn’t in the spotlight.
Due to this, Stillwell banned everyone from wearing their costumes. No capes, no spandex, no leather, no masks. Just suits and dresses.
It was nice, actually. A little break from the norm. It felt good to go a night without the tight leather on your skin. You were actually surprised at how well it was received.
The rest of the members of the group seemed to be having a wonderful time as well.
Except for one.
He was standing in the corner, glaring at everyone. Madelyn had an entire argument with him about the suit. You weren’t there, but you knew exactly how it went.
His costume was a part of him. It was a symbol. It was a mask. A representation. An embodiment of who he was. Without it, he was a naked target.
Madelyn clearly did not give a single shit. In the end, the argument resulted in the two of them getting into a screaming match, causing him to storm off in a fit of rage.
So, there he was, standing alone, seething at anyone who passed him. Madelyn won; of course, she did, and she didn't even bother trying to apologize. She wasn't sorry.
She was just mad that he refused to listen in the first place.
But, hey, that wasn’t your problem. You were enjoying yourself. The night was going pretty well; the alcohol was flowing nicely, and the music was just right. You were dancing and laughing and having a great time.
But, of course, things weren't always easy for you.
You weren’t expecting it to last long; you weren’t one to have good luck. You knew, deep down, that the night was going to come crashing down on you. You were just waiting for the ball to drop.
The ball dropped the moment you decided to go cheer up the sourpuss.
It was obvious the way his shoulders tensed, and his head tilted ever so slightly. He knew you were approaching. He was aware.
"Don't," he said.
He was clearly angry, and you weren’t smart enough not to push. This is where Jessica’s powers would have benefited you greatly.
You ignored his warning, walking up beside him, mocking his stance.
"You okay?" you asked, your tone soft and light, a hint of playfulness.
His eyes flicked over to you, and the glare he gave was terrifying. His eyes were so intense, and his teeth were clenched. You could see his jaw tensing.
He was a volcano, ready to erupt.
You could practically see the steam coming out of his ears.
"I'm fine." Humorously enough, it sounded like the opposite.
"Really?"
He turned his head to look at you, his anger increasing by the second.
"Don’t you have anything better to do?"
You shrugged. "Yeah, but I'm choosing to talk to you."
He looked away from you, grumbling, "And why's that?"
"Because you’re ruining the party," you answered. "Miserable face and all."
He rolled his eyes. He actually does this a lot, believe it or not. It's the only expression he has besides anger that isn’t fake.
"And why do you care?"
You shrugged again. "I care about enjoying myself, and I can't do that when you're moping."
He turned his head towards you. He was not amused.
"Go find someone else to entertain yourself with.” He pointed behind him. "I’m sure Deep will be glad to show off his fish facts."
That one caused you to make the same face he had moments ago. The absolute look of disgust on your face was enough to bring a smug grin to his own.
He knew exactly what he was doing.
"Don't make me throw up, John."
The name.
It was a simple slip-up, nothing more. But, of course, it meant so much more. This was before everything, so it doesn’t seem likely that a slip-up like that wouldn’t result in consequences, but it secretly was a turning point.
He could've killed you.
He could've easily grabbed you and thrown you across the room, and no one would be able to comprehend what had happened until after you were unrecognizable.
He didn't, though.
No, instead, he stared at you, his face blank, and his mind processing. You were nervous, of course. You had no idea what was going on in his head.
After a minute, a look of realization came upon him, and you could see the exact moment the gears started turning.
Then, a simple hum fell from his lips. One said he wasn’t expecting it but was deciding whether to accept it.
Then, after a few seconds, his face relaxed. His jaw was unclenched, his eyes softened, and his eyebrows relaxed.
"Let’s have a chat."
Uh oh. That’s a code red—a sign of danger.
You were so done.
And yet, for some odd reason, you followed him. You don’t know why. It was a stupid move, in your opinion. You should've run while you had the chance. You should’ve listened and just punched fishlips or something.
You didn’t, though.
You followed him, allowed him to fly you somewhere private, and just waited. You waited for your imminent doom. You were going to die; you were sure of it.
But, for some reason, your death never came.
Instead, the two of you landed on the tower’s roof, the cold New York air hitting you hard. He had set you down on your feet and went all the way to the railing.
You stood awkwardly, waiting for him to turn around with those beams in his eyes, but they never came.
He was just looking out into the city, his back turned to you, his hands on the railing.
After a few minutes of silence, he turned his head, looking at you through the corner of his eye.
"Aren't you going to ask?"
Ask what? What was there to ask?
There were plenty of things to ask, actually, and yet you had no idea what the right thing to ask was. Because, again, even here, he was unpredictable and unreadable.
You didn't want to anger him; you knew that for sure. But you were also tired of his mind games. It was a constant battle of wit, and you were sick and tired of being left in the dust.
So, you chose something simple to say. Something easy, yet not so simple to answer.
"Are you going to kill me?"
You wouldn’t be surprised if he turned around with a smile and answered yes.
He didn’t, though. Oh no, he stayed turned, staring into the city, his eyes searching. Searching for what you didn't know.
"No."
Simple and clear.
You didn't respond, and he didn't elaborate. It was silent, and it was cold, and it was a tense moment.
But you didn't leave. You just watched him, watched his movements. The way his shoulders hunched over, his head tilting down, the grips on the railing, the way his hair slowly became unstuck due to the wind.
You always thought his hair looked better when it wasn't slicked back, but this is the first time you've ever seen it that way. It was… it was nice.
Then, his shoulders relaxed, and his head straightened. He didn’t turn around, and he didn’t speak. He just looked over his shoulder at you, his eyes piercing yours.
Even with a few strands of hair on his face, his eyes were so sharp and clear. So blue. So cold.
It felt like they were reaching deep into your soul.
It was terrifying. He was terrifying.
"Do you remember your parents?"
The question took you by surprise. It wasn’t what you were expecting, but then again, this whole encounter was the definition of unexpected.
"Yes. Why?"
His eyes scanned yours as if looking for a lie. Then, he turned back around, leaning on the railing.
"I can't remember mine," he said. "Sometimes I wonder if I even had them."
Oh. Oh. This was huge. This was a big one. You had to search deeply even to find out his actual name. Now, here he was, telling you of his past.
Of all people, he chose to tell you.
You didn’t know how to feel about that.
You were honored, yes. You were excited, definitely. But, most importantly, you were worried. Is this him letting you in? Or is it him preparing you for your demise?
It was an unknown territory, a field of landmines. You knew a lot about his past already, but now he was aware of the fact that you knew. He knows, and yet he is still giving you the information.
Why?
"I mean, it doesn't make sense. Everyone has parents, right? And I couldn't have been born out of nowhere. So, I must have had parents. A mom, a dad, some form of guardians."
His face was scrunched, and his eyebrows were furrowed. You could see the way his brain was working. He was really thinking about it, wondering how the pieces fit together.
He was struggling to make a connection, and he was mad at himself for not having it.
"I'm assuming your childhood wasn't the best," you said. You knew it was a risky move, joking about his past, but so far, he seemed to like the boldness and humor.
And he did, in fact, let out a snort.
"Understatement of the year."
You smiled but quickly stopped. It was a serious conversation, and smiling probably wasn’t the appropriate reaction.
Silence filled the space again, and he was back to thinking. He was trying; he was really trying. But he just couldn't.
It wasn't the fact that his parents were a mystery; he's come to terms with that. It was the fact that he couldn’t remember anything.
All he remembered was the torture, the pain, the experiments… nothing about how he got there. Nothing about the people before the scientists. Nothing about a home. And the fact that they were currently building a fake one for him made him so angry.
It was a mockery—a complete joke.
He felt all of these emotions and yet couldn't express them.
And he was frustrated. He was pissed off and tired and angry and sad and empty and-
"Did you rip off your tie?" Your eyes had caught sight of his bare neck, the black fabric missing.
It was the only way to pull him out of his head, and, to your surprise, it worked. You could see the moment he snapped back to reality, the moment he was pulled away from his mind.
"Yeah," he answered. "It was suffocating me."
You could tell.
His hair became more unkempt due to the wind. The strands of hair on his forehead were getting in the way, and it was getting annoying. Not for you, no, but for him.
For you, it was… humanizing. It made him seem a little less like a god.
He lifted his hand, his fingers gently combing through the locks. It was a struggle, a normal struggle that you've had with your own hair.
Plenty struggle with deviating the locks away from their desired location. You've had your own fair share of moments.
But this was the first time you'd seen him experience it. The first time witnessing him do something so simple and basic.
Such a human thing. It had you wondering what else he was capable of.
He sighed, his hand dropping back to the railing. Again, it is a normal thing to happen. But, it had you smiling, the corners of your mouth curving ever so slightly.
The action did not go unnoticed.
"What?" he asked, not even bothering to turn around.
You shrugged. "I've just never…"
Your mind kept changing images. His hair, his eyes, his shoulders, his jaw, his nose, his ears, his neck, his hand, his lips, his chin, his cheekbones, his eyebrows, his skin…
Everything is listed in your mind, including the little imperfections and details that make him, well, him. This was the first time you saw him anything other than perfect.
The perfect monster he was, the god of all men. The man of the century, the one to take the world by storm. The strongest, the smartest, the best.
The symbol, the image, the mask.
The facade.
This was the first time you saw him as just a person. A human being. Just a regular guy.
"Sometimes I wonder how different life would be if you were…"
Normal.
The word was at the tip of your tongue. You could've said it; you should've said it. It was the truth. It was obvious.
But you couldn't.
He knew where your sentence was going, though. Of course, he did.
"If I was… what?" He still wanted to hear it. He was looking for validation, and he wanted it from you. His eyes were on you, his body turned, but there was this one odd thing.
A smile.
It wasn't his usual one. The one you were used to. The one that made everyone scared and uneasy. No, this was a real smile.
A soft, small one, but still a real smile.
A true smile. As if he knew the words you were going to say, as if he knew your thoughts, and he found them amusing.
You found him amusing.
And just because of that, you didn’t give him the validation.
"It’s fucking freezing out here," You coughed in hopes of successfully changing the subject. "I’m gonna get a jacket."
He was going to argue, but you were already walking off, telling him you’d take the emergency ladder down.
Nothing was spoken about that night. No words were exchanged.
But something had changed. Something had shifted. You weren’t quite sure what it was, but it was something.
So, seeing that genuine smile again in that elevator was a shock.
He had the same face as he did on that roof. It was that smile. That one specific smile.
Capable.
That's what it was.
He was capable.
He was capable of feeling and being human. He was capable of being something other than a monster.
He was capable.
All he said to you when you walked by was a simple goodnight. Something so small, yet so big. This time, those words seemed to have a little more meaning.
So, just to raise his unsettling mood, you winked and said, "Goodnight, John."
Again, a smile.
The smile.
It was hard to continue walking, and it was even harder not to turn around. But you did.
You did it knowing you were going to have a hard time sleeping. Knowing that, no matter what, you weren’t going to forget that smile.
The demon that still had a little bit of humanity in him.
A demon that was capable.
#the homelander#homelander#homelander x reader#homelander x fem!reader#homelander x female!reader#homelander x you#homelander/reader#the boys homelander#fanfic#x reader#fanfiction#reader#the boys#the boys fanfic#the boys fanfiction#the boys fandom#antony starr#antony starr x reader#the boys x reader#the boys x you#the boys series#homelander imagine#angst#heavy angst#forbidden love#billy butcher#hughie campbell#the deep#a train#starlight
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me when 'the boys' pull up the most disgusting, grotesque and bizarrely exaggerating scene ever on screen for parody, satire or social criticism purposes (or just because, idgaf):
#the boys#the boys series#billy butcher#homelander#starlight#soldier boy#black noir#the deep#sister sage#firecracker#a-train#queen maeve#kimiko miyashiro#frenchie#mother's milk#hughie campbell#victoria neuman#the boys season 4#i'm wilding with this season rn#this is a meme blog#fanfics are secondary now
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You Call It Madness But I Call It Love
Pairing: Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV
Tropes: Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn
Song Inspiration For The Series: You Call It Madness But I Call It Love By Russ Columbo
Series Playlist (Spotify)🥀
Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy. This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters fluctuate between past and present, beginning in 1934. SPOILERS FOR THE BOYS S3
Chapter 1: You Shouldn't Have Answered the Door
Chapter 2: Late Night Visitor
Chapter 3: Summer Has to End Someday
Chapter 4: It's My Party and I'll Eat Cake If I Want To
Chapter 5: The Man, The Myth, The Legend
Chapter 6: Batter Up
Chapter 7: Are We Old Friends Or Old Enemies?
Chapter 8: Jealousy Doesn't Look Good On Anybody Except...
Chapter 9: Wedding Bells or Gong of Destruction?
Chapter 10: How Did It End Up Like This?
Chapter 11: I Can't Think With You Yelling At Me!
Chapter 12: My Heart Is Beating For You Constantly
Chapter 13: You Made A Plaything Out of Romance
Chapter 14: You're All I'm Dreaming Of
Chapter 15: What Do You Know About Love?
Chapter 16: Please Come Back To Me
Chapter 17: How Could I Ever Forget?
Chapter 18: First Impressions Are Often Correct
Chapter 19: I Know Who You Are
Chapter 20: You Were There
Chapter 21: Try To Understand
Chapter 22: I May Be Right Or I May Be Crazy
Chapter 23: Extreme Makeover Backyard Edition
Chapter 24: What The Past Held
Chapter 25: Are Family Reunions Always This Awkward?
Chapter 26: I Hate You, I Love You
Chapter 27: Take Me Back To The Beginning
Epilogue: True Love Is Hard To Find
Last Updated: 10/08/2024 (Series Complete)
One Shots: COMING SOON!
[Extras]
Chapter 7.5: The Only Escape (Unused)
Happy Halloween! (Takes Place After Main Series)
If you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series let me know :)
Taglist:
@roseblue373 @anundyingfidelity @cheynovak @cassiecasluciluce @muhahaha303
@deans-spinster-witch @kayleighmeister @demodemo909 @fruitfacess @bobbobbobinogs
@bughill126 @simplyfixated @tiredstrangerr @freefallthoughts @onlyangel-444
@lov3vivian @mxltifxnd0m @mayafatimakhan @marvel-mistress @my-obsession-spn
@lifeonawhim @liuope @brynanna @carpenterswife
@xxannyxx
@babyinatrench-coat1 @the-gentle-spirit @valryomen @cassieriddle713 @shaggzthatsnottheworm
@lil-soup @ej13928 @topstory21 @boywivlove
@mrsjenniferwinchester
@vivre-dans-la-nuit @megara0224 @daisy-the-quake @thesilmarillionblog @samanddeaninatrenchcoat
@livya99 @peachhiz @tinydancer40 @tinystarfishgalaxy
@jvanilly
@lunaticgurly @i-am-typing @52ndstreeet
@anna6307
@pixviee @soldiergrimes @ladysparkles78 @ahoytothestorm
@octoazzy @modiddys-blog @marmie-noir @practicallylivesonline @impala67stellawinchester
@everlove @dangerousgardenchild
(Photos on mood board from Pinterest)
#jensen ackles soldier boy#soldier boy x reader#soldier boy x you#soldier boy x female reader#the boys fanfic#the boys series#soldier boy#soldier boy fanfiction#the boys amazon#jensen ackles#soldier boy/ben#soldier boy fic#the boys season 3#jackles#billy butcher#homelander#hughie campbell#the boys#You Call It Madness But I Call It Love
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hii i love ur writing and the k you for the noir fic!! there’s not enough content for the boys and i appreciate it so much!! can i request jealous homelander x reader? tyia!
♱ — rapacious — ♱
A/N: I was itching, with no craving to make a homelander fic, and ideas just ran through me, but thank you anon for requesting this, and letting my devious idea run free. P.S. Im not sure bout that black noir fic, this was asked in July, but yk thank you for still requesting <3. Btw H/N is hero name.
WARNING: oral sex, p in the v, no condom we fuck raw, creampies, non-con, tw: homelander, gagging, cursing, non-con, threats, forced breeding and nudity.
PAIRING: jealous! homelander x reader
WORD COUNTER: 2.1k
Life with Homelander was great, something so great that it makes you go insane, crazy...good crazy may be bad for some, but you could take it, right?
Vought, was another thing, watching over your shoulder and making sure everything went well, I mean with you there were a lot fewer casualties than usual. Soon things got less complicated with Edgar and Madelyn being gone from Vought, basically Homelander leading the company with Ashley as a puppet.
It was chaotic per se, where Homelander's watching eye was everywhere in the building. His leadership didn't make anything better but worse. With the seven keeping on being replaced and disappearing mysteriously, surprisingly you were still there with the same everything, no new rebrand, no nothing just staying in place.
You didn't mind it at all, I mean you still had a job and were still getting paid. Even with the weird shift of Black noir, instead of his quiet demeanor, he was talkative which was a change. It was evident it wasn't noir and everyone in the seven knew it, but nobody questioned it. You didn't mind but preferred the change, and even started talking to him.
He was a little better than old noir, not in combat but in being amusing, even spending time with outside meetings and regular superhero activities.
"So how the fuck did you manage to even fly like that?" You asked while you walked with him down the hallway,
"I have no idea, it just happened?" Black Noir II shrugged, you nodded at his words as you took a sip of the peanut butter frappuccino from Vought's cafe, it was a plus that he wasn't allergic to peanuts like the old noir. It wasn't a glow-up from the old noir but a plus. You two chatted as you got into the elevator, it was abruptly stopped by a red, white, and blue cape fluttering into wedging between you both, making you step back, it was Homelander.
The atmosphere immediately got tense than it was once a carefree mood, it was quiet.
"Good morning Homelander," you said, it was met with a nod from him, "Morning Sir," Black Noir said to him, only for him to glare at him, "Don't fucking talk" Homelander ordered, clearly annoyed that he was talking.
It was suffocating being in the elevator, you just took a sip of your frappuccino, praying for the elevator to open up quickly.
Guess your answers were answered rather quickly, as the doors of the huge elevator opened to the meeting room, the giant seven table in front of you.
The Deep, Sage, Firecracker, and A-train were already in their seats. "Good morning sir" The deep stood up, saluting him which made you laugh a little. You immediately took your seat next to Firecracker, and the meeting started. It was a blur to you, something like finding the leak in Vought, which you had many questions about.
The whole meeting was led by a different Sage, your eyes flicked towards Homelander, he was staring at Black Noir. You averted your eyes away,
God, you have to pay attention more often.
You couldn't help but take a sip of peanut butter frappuccino, "Would you fucking stop" Homelander's voice interrupted Sage's presentation, all attention was at him and he was staring directly at you.
"Um...Sorry" You hesitating looked back at him, and you felt eyes on you. You couldn't help but your heart to beat faster,
You watched Homelander rubbed his head in annoyance, closing his eyes before staring to you, "Could you slurp any louder?" He said, his voice dripping with annoyance and sarcasm.
"Sorry" You muttered, putting it back where it was,
"No..nope" Homelander repeated, he pointed at you again, "Be a good girl and put it in the garbage" He snapped. You looked around, with everyone staring at you, "Okay" you responded, slowly getting up from your chair, taking the cup in your hand, and throwing it in the garbage before sitting down.
"Good"
With that statement, the meeting continued on, with your face heating up in embarrassment, as you sank further into the chair.
Sage's voice engulfing your thoughts,
You got interrupted by a note being thrown at you, it was obvious it was from Noir that somehow got to you without Homelander looking, you grinned a little bit, secretly opening up the crumbled piece of paper.
[I'll buy you a new drink after the meeting] - Noir
You read the note, before turning your attention to him and smiling, quickly putting the note in the pocket of your suit before Homelander can see it. Combing your hair back and leaning back into your chair.
Soon the meeting ended, getting up from your seat, and everyone else was doing the same, yours scanned and the room soon landing on Firecracker still in her seat. But you didn't care much to ask why, but more excited to hang out with Noir after this awkward meeting.
"Everyone can go expect H/N" You heard Homelander's voice mentioning your name made you freeze. You stopped where you were, "You can go Firecracker" Homelander turned to her,
"But..um Homelander sir—"
"You can go," Homelander said again but in a more threatening tone, "Now" After he said she scrambled out of the meeting room.
Soon it was only you two left in the room, you watched hesitantly as Homelander turned to you. "Y/N, we need to talk," Homelander states, you could hear his voice straining, with concealed anger.
You looked up at him confused, "About..what?" You asked.
You watched as he walked around you, his pace was slow, you listened to his footsteps echoing around the empty meeting room, before he stopped suddenly, " Do you think I'm just stupid?" Homelander said, his tone catching you off guard.
It wasn't confusing that Homelander was speaking to you in anger, you rarely got him angry knowing you both were together and your relationship wasn't publicized due to his status.
"No, definitely not John," You replied, using his name instead of his hero alias, made him freeze before he stared at you.
Jealously was gnawing inside of him when he looked at you, "Tell me...are you fucking him" Homelander snapped at you, your brows knitted together in confusion at his words. "No, we're just hanging out—why would you ever think that?" You stuttered over your words, as Homelander walked closer to you.
He reached out for your face, harshly grabbing your chin with his hand, tilting your face to meet his eyes. You felt his glove hand digging into your face, his eyes closely turning red, you just felt fear, you were terrified. You knew he could smell your fear, and hear your rising heartbeat. "John...I would never cheat on you, I'm yours" You entreated, trembling under his grip.
Finally, his grip got looser and then he dropped your face, making you stumble a bit.
"Then show me," Homelander said,
You were confused about his words, "What?"
"If you love me..show me" Homelander sat down in the seat in front of you. It took you some time to process his words, confused at what he was saying, "Come on, strip for me" signaling towards your chest.
Your brows furrowing, "Come on, if you don't do it" Homelander leaned in his seat, "You won't like it if I do it" He finished,
"Now strip" He repeated, his tone more irritated.
You took a breath in and started undressing. Unzipping your suit, feeling the cool air on your bare skin. Your suit falling on the marble floor echoed through the room, leaving you in your bra and panties.
"Bra and panties too" Homelander eyed your chest.
You comply, putting your hand behind you and clipping your bra off, discarding it on the floor, and stepping out of your panties, leaving you fully naked in front of him.
"Come here" He patted his lap, "Crawl" he pointed at you. You sank down to your knees and crawled towards him and stopped in front of him. "Come on, you know what to do" You felt his hand on your cheek, stroking it.
You looked down at his growing member in his pants. Hesitatingly looking up at him through your lashes, as you started to undo the bottom of his suit revealing his cock, you looked up at him, "Use your mouth" You leaned in and inched his cock into your mouth, before taking him whole. Homelander moans out feeling your warm mouth enveloping his cock, feeling his hand gripping your hair making you wince.
You slowly bob your head down on his length, his grip on you getting tighter. Your ears perched up at his straining voice barely containing his whimpers as he watched you intently, taking him whole. "Fuck, your good at this" Homelander groaned, jerking you away, taking his cock out from your mouth. Staring at your disheveling appearance, spit dribbling on your chin.
His hand still fisting your hair, "Your pretty when your like this" Homelander chuckled, before forcing you down his cock, making you gagged. Tears prick on your waterline, saliva staining your chin, his grip never loosening as he abused your throat, thrusting into your mouth, the sound of slick, the sounds of wet suction filling up the room.
His pace turning frantic, fucking your mouth.
Homelander threw his head back as waves of ecstasy washed over him. His hips buckled uncontrollably as he lets out a guttural groan, filling your mouth with his cum. "Fuck, ..." He pants, chest heaving, before he gripped your face, "Be a good girl and swallow it" He threatens, feeling the hot liquid going down your throat, swallowing it.
His grip loosening and releasing you. You panted for air, feeling his gloved-hand stroking your cheek. "Now, stand and lean over at table" Homelander ordered, as you got up from the floor and obeyed his order, propping yourself on the table, and bending yourself over the glass. You couldn't help but to feel excited for the pain, the slick dripping down your legs. You waited in anticipation,
Before feeling his cock stretching you out, biting down at your lip at the simmering pain, arching your back. His hands on back of your waist, "Fuck" you mumbled, gripping the end of the glass. Before he thrusting into you, "You think Noir would please you like I do" Homelander growled into your ear, his breath warm on your skin "N...no" you mumbled, feeling his cock tearing you open, feeling himself stretching your cervix.
His ministration was more painful next than the next, feeling his cock stabbing you over and over again. The sounds of flesh slapping filled the room, letting out a gasp, your voice wavering in pain. His thrust driving deeper into you, clenching down on his cock, feeling his grip digging into your skin.
You hated how you were slowly enjoying this, feeling yourself coming close to your climax. Your body tensing up as you feel your skin warming up,
His hips stuttering against yours, "Fuck, I'm close" You felt his hands stroking your hips, "What if I just cummed inside you, breed you myself, have my kids, and have a family...then ill have you to myself" He whispered,
You felt your heart in your throat, "Pull out" You tried to get away from stone grip, "Homelander, please" You begged, only for your face to be shove down on the glass table. Scrambling underneath his grip, just to get him off you. "please" you cried.
His pace getting frantic until he thrust into you for the last time, feeling on cue your body shuddering as he came into you. Feeling himself spilling inside you, making you freeze on the spot.
Feeling him finally pulling out of you, leaving you there stunned. He kissed your shoulder, the kiss feeling lingering on you.
You heard the sound of him putting his pants back on. He stared at you before walking towards you, before sighing, you turned your head to him, "I forgive you, you know" He said, his hand behind his back watching your pitiful form,
"Just don't do it again" he pats your head,
"Now get dressed, we have a date" He smiles, listening to his footsteps descending from you.
#homelander x fem!reader#homelander the boys#homelander x you#the homelander#homelander imagine#homelander x reader#homelander#the boys season 4#the boys s4#the boys tv#the boys amazon#the boys prime#homelander x y/n#homelander x oc#the boys fanfic#the boys series#the boys#black noir#firecracker
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If you think I'm pretty
Pairing: Homelander x afab!reader CW: fingering, praise, slightly OOC homie, threats of captivity (he says hes gonna keep reader in the penthouse that's it I promise it's not genuine), cursing, sub!reader, porn without plot (I think this is applicable), they're in a relationship before this, reader says 'John' cause moaning homelander is funny as fuck Summary: Being a perfectionist, you're unsatisfied with a recent test score. Homelander has a cure for that. Disclaimer: reader is always thought to be chubby/fat but there are no physical descriptors here, just an FYI WC: 1,955 Genuinely idk I'd like to apologize for this. I fell out of my Criminal Minds hyperfixation like months ago and haven't written since so I'm really rusty. This is 100% a self-insert but reader is gn and not described other than the fact that they're AFAB. Also this was only proof read once so please point out typos if you see them <3
Your mother used to scold you for being too hard on yourself. Her face is virtually the only thing you can picture as your screen burns your eyes a bit. It’s too early for the high brightness of the device, having woken up before the sun could reintroduce your eyes to light. You’d set yourself up to wake slightly after midnight, intending to check the score of a huge test you’d taken months ago and simply go back to sleep in a matter of minutes. A rather stupid plan, in hindsight. You were questioning now if you knew yourself at all. Your phone had nearly been in your hand when you felt the cold burn of anxiety in your lungs. This test was a huge fucking deal. You were a hardcore perfectionist on top of that, trying with countless futile attempts to surrender your idea of the model score. You just needed to pass, not get your professor to memorialize you in marble for your pure genius. You’d gotten up instead of turning on your phone, brushing your teeth and making your bed before pacing the room slightly while you thought. Essentially, you were just allowing the mantra of ‘cope’ to bound back and forth between your ears for a couple minutes. You weren’t sure if you wanted to cope with the disappointment of a lesser score, or you were telling yourself to come down a couple pegs and be happy with getting by. The repetition of the word soothed that icy-hot feeling that had festered from your lungs to your fingertips, and you checked.
You were fine. Not the score you wanted, but you were fine.
Mentally you writhed against the slump of your shoulders, but the weight of this self-inflicted shortcoming hit harder than you were capable of defending yourself from. The long sigh you let out was all frost as the tension left your airways. How underwhelming. You laid down on the bed you’d made not ten minutes ago, hearing the window slide open a few seconds into your pity party. You normally left it unlocked for him, knowing if anyone else attempted to enter your home, he wasn’t far. He told you himself that he seemed to have tuned into you specifically; swearing he’d be able to hear you on the other side of the city if you needed him.
“It’s way too early for you to already be having a bad day. The sun’s not even up.” He was closer now, fully sealed into your space and approaching you with comfortable footsteps. You never fully got over the irony of seeing America’s greatest hero flying through your window in sweatpants. “What’s wrong?” You always noticed the subtle way he changed how he spoke around you. In every interview or interaction you’d ever witnessed of his, he’d spoken like a character. For a man who hated having his words scripted, he spoke the same as every cookie-cutter movie he’d starred in. He didn’t talk that way with you, something you hoped was subconscious. A demonstration of the safety he felt around you.
You shrugged in response to the question. You acknowledged the trivial nature of your feelings, knowing you probably reeked of sadness to him but attempting to downplay it anyways. “Bad test score.”
He sat down next to you on the edge of the bed, allowing you the space to remain sprawled out. “Doubtful.” He laughed slightly as he said it, shaking his head and smiling. He looked at you, his eyebrows furrowing minorly. “What’d you get?”
“A four.”
“What were you hoping to get?”
Your voice was barely audible as you spoke, knowing he would pick it up but also trying to spare yourself the rush of immaturity hearing yourself speak would bring. “A five.”
He sighed - a sigh full of endearment that his eyes reflected as he looked at you. You told him once that his eyes were the first thing you’d noticed. It was sunny the day you’d met, and they looked practically ethereal. You’d seen such chaos reflected in them even from day one. The masses called him ‘soulless’ often, but you couldn’t understand such an accusation from anyone who had ever seen him. His eyes were practically overflowing with soul, every time you looked at him it was all you saw. They were capable of incredibly dangerous things but they were so entrancing. He was so fucking enticing.
You broke the eye contact, but he nudged your leg and moved his head to try and follow your eyes. “Hey-” He called for your attention, so you looked back at him. “You know that’s a good score, right?”
You smiled small at him. “No- I know. I’m just…I don’t know- strict with myself.” You found it hard to put into words. You knew you’d done well, but the ability to feel pride felt withheld from you. Like your eyes bore into it but your mind refused to distribute the feeling it brought to something tangible.
“I think you’re just too much of a fucking perfectionist.” His hand was splayed across your upper thigh from where he sat. No matter which part of you he touched, he had a grip that made your head spin. He was so sure of himself, the strength demonstrated from such an unassuming form never lost the novelty that it’d held when you met him. “Can’t let yourself admit when you did good.”
You tried to be dismissive, but it was hard to fake anything with a man like him. “As if you aren’t, John.” His jaw got the slightest bit tighter at the use of his name. Such a miniscule action that easily dodges the eyes of people who aren’t looking. You couldn’t really imagine not looking at him.
“I’m serious.” His face was still relaxed, but the expression in his eyes had shifted. His pupils dilated and his full attention was on you. “You did good.”
The only con of being with somebody with abilities such as his was the lack of secrecy. You used to laugh with your friends about how grateful you were for the discrete nature of arousal when living without certain body parts. That went out the window when you started seeing him. He knew the second anything shifted within you. He had every perversion you’d ever dreamt about practically categorized by the time your two month anniversary had rolled around. One of his favorite pastimes was casually working a turn-on into conversation and just watching you squirm.
You fought the urge to pull away from his hand, feeling your stomach drop slightly at a declaration like that. “Thank you.” You looked away from him again. Something you knew he didn’t really like but choosing to try and save face over anything else.
“Yeah…I don’t know.” You could see his focus on the topic increasing by the second. His disposition was happy, but he held serious and almost threatening undertones. He tightened his grip on your thigh and you looked at back to him, hesitantly following the silent command to keep your eyes up. “I think you should say it.”
“John-” His assertiveness was starting to get to you, it always did. You sat up on your forearms to be a little more level with him but he moved his hand from your thigh to your stomach and pushed you back down. The thought of having to lay there and explicitly state that you did well on your test felt like a kid having to write in repetition on a chalkboard in detention.
He was looking down at you, the eye contact making you slightly dizzy. His face was kind, it almost always was when he was around you, but the conversation was derailing. “I just think it’s important that you understand this.” He was so good at making you want what he thought was best.
You inhaled, swallowing your pride and licking your lips. “What do you want me to say?”
That familiar, condescending smile was starting to creep onto his lips. “Just tell the truth.” His eyebrows raised slightly in a silent prompt. “Say you did good.”
His hand was descending from your stomach, making it’s way to the hemline of your underwear. You hadn’t bothered to change out of what you were sleeping in, only now realizing the vulnerability of it. You held your tongue for a moment, breathing out a quiet “I did good.”
He tore the only fabric between his hand and you off your body as easily as ripping a sheet of paper and leaned in a little more. “Say it again.”
“John-” You said it as barely an exhale as he skimmed his hand over you. You hadn’t even registered just how sensitive or how wet you’d gotten in the few minutes you were talking to him.
“I don’t know why you act so fucking noble. You should be running Ashleys around in circles or giving interns your coffee order. Not any of this testing bullshit that you’re too good for anyway.” His tone elevated to that mocking, cocky tone that swept into the most shame filled crevices of your mind and tugged the most deprived parts into the driver seat. He thumbed at your clit while he spoke, increasing and decreasing the pressure whenever he felt like it and effectively snatching any remaining ability to form coherent thought from your grabbing hands. “You’ve been chosen by a God, honey. You can do anything, I can give you anything.” He got breathier as he spoke, seemingly soaking up the desperation you were excreting and matching it in a tenfold.
You felt two of his fingers enter you effortlessly and you couldn’t stop yourself from gripping his arm. You always felt the power imbalance most in times like these. A feeling like pulling an angel away from heaven just for yourself, combing through it’s wings with your fingers or trying to lap up a fraction of that status in a wildly inappropriate disregard for the natural roles of nature. He was so much more than you, but he just wanted you to feel good. You swore under your breath as he started circles on your clit. He never got hand cramps, never got tired. He would go until you couldn’t anymore.
“That’s it.” He had barely said it, more just exhaled the assurance under his breath. You were close, you’re sure he could feel it. “Gonna move you to my penthouse. Keep you braindead and needy.”
It shouldn’t have hit you the way it did. Considering who he was, he could easily fulfill that promise with nobody at Vought even thinking twice. It was the way he said it, the way he acts. Always needing control and always right. The most powerful man alive spent his time fantasizing about control over you, and your stomach twisted in disgust at how badly it got you off.
He slowed his movements as your high declined. He was breathing heavy, but your heart was beating like a drum. He had the smallest smile on his face like the sound gave him a sense of satisfaction. You rose to your forearms, this time with no protest from him, and watched him stand up. He held the back of your head with the hand that wasn’t nearly dripping and kissed the top of your head. It was chaste and quick, but the domesticity of it made your throat ache. He uttered something about getting a towel to clean up, stating he’d be right back before exiting the room.
You rushed the words out before he could leave. “But you didn’t-”
“Next time.” He just waved you off. “I just thought you deserved a little reward.”
#x chubby reader#x fat reader#x plus size reader#homelander x reader#homelander x you#homelander x chubby reader#homelander x fat reader#homelander x plus size reader#homelander fluff#homelander smut#the boys fanfic#the boys fanfiction#the boys smut#praise#the boys x reader#cupid:HL
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Homelander x SupeTeen!Reader
Idk ya'll Homie has really been getting on my nerves recently. I wasn't exactly sure where I was going with this one at first, but I LOVE the way it turned out. It was a doozy but it was SO FUN to write! This isn’t proof read just yet so please don’t yell at me💀
Summary: You meet your biological father for the first time at Vought Tower after your adoptive mother's unexpected passing...he's not exactly what you expected.
Word Count: 1.8k
Warnings: Homelander (Obviously), death of a parental figure, mentions of death, manipulation tactics, awkward parental conversations???
Being a Supe had never been easy for you, though, luckily you had never been forced to live in a lab. Soon after you were born, one of the Vought scientists had taken you in as her own, -due to the fact that your biological mother had died during childbirth- directly going against Vought's policies. She was found out eventually, to no one's surprise...but this breach in policy gave headway to a new experiment. So, she was allowed to keep you and raise you as her own. You were raised as any other child would be, but you were treated with extra caution...and being the only Supe in school wasn't exactly a cake walk. But the worst thing you had experienced was a little bullying, but your doting, caring, adoptive mother put an end to that rather quickly by talking with the school board. The first 15 years of your life were...tolerable, if not ideal. It was supposed to stay that way...until your mother was found dead at her place of work.
It had only been two weeks since your mother died. In those two weeks, you had been relocated and told, verbatim, that your father was one of the most iconic Supes in the world...Homelander. Now? You were sitting in The Seven's meeting room at Vought Tower, anxiously toying with the handle of the swivel chair you were sitting in. Part of you was still just...numb. Everything you had ever known had been ripped away from you seemingly overnight. Any other child would be over the moon...but you? You were just...detached. You were pulled out of the endless depths of your own thoughts when a voice echoed off the walls of the room.
"Hey there, kiddo!"
You looked up from your anxious fiddling, and were met with the blindingly white smile of your biological father. You did your best to give a convincing smile back, sitting up a bit straighter in your seat. His presence wasn't exactly the most comforting. He tilted his head to the side a bit when you didn't respond.
"You're Y/N...Right? Hopefully we didn't get the wrong kid...that would be awkward, wouldn't it?" Homelander asked with a laugh. He sort of stopped in the center of the room, looking you up and down, like he was trying to evaluate you...to decide your worth. You nod sheepishly.
"Yeah...yeah. That's me." It honestly didn't help that you were the age that you were...it made it more awkward somehow. Homelander didn't say anything for a moment, almost like he was waiting for you to say something else. When you didn't, he sort of chuckled.
"You're not very talkative, are you?" He asked. You had opened your mouth to respond, but he cut you off. "I guess that's understandable. Meeting your old man for the first time is no small feat..." He paused for a moment as he evaluated your expression. "I'm sorry to hear about your mom...tough stuff there, kiddo." You took a breath when he mentioned your mother. It was all so fresh...and there were so many things you had recently learned that she had never told you. You didn't even know she wasn't your biological mother until after she died.
"Mmm...Don't be sorry...not your fault."
Oh, the unknown irony of that statement.
Homelander let out a small scoff and frowned. Admittedly, the frown looked incredibly fake...almost like he was mocking you.
"Still...I can't imagine what you must be feeling. I mean, to find out that she was keeping so much from you...after she died...? That must pack an even worse punch." You sort of stiffened in your seat. You weren't exactly stupid...you could read his tone. He was hiding his insults towards your mother with a cruel, mock sympathy.
"She only did it to protect me...I know she did. She wasn't a bad mom, she was amazing, actually." You respond, almost matter-of-factly, your eyes glowing red ever so slightly. "I know raising a Supe couldn't have been easy for her...she had her reasons." It was incredibly hard to talk about your mother in any way, considering she had only died two weeks ago. Homelander sensed your tone, and put his hands up as he noticed the flicker of light in your eyes. It suddenly became clear to him that you couldn't control your powers, which almost made him smirk.
"Hey now, of course she was...Absolutely no hard feelings towards your mom...But I know I would have never kept things from you like that. And registering you at a public school, knowing you're a Supe? That's just...cruel." You were going to continue defending your mother...until he mentioned school. That was something you couldn't exactly convince yourself was a great move on your mom's part.
"School was...a different story. It was rough." You said, pulling your legs up onto the swivel chair so you could hold your knees to your chest. Homelander nodded as he took a few steps closer to you, his hands now at rest behind his back.
"So I've heard...I spoke to your therapist." That comment turned your stomach a bit. Wasn't everything you spoke about with your therapist supposed to be confidential? Homelander noticed the slight change in your expression. "Don't worry, Y/N...I didn't dig into any of the gritty teenager things..." He chuckled, "I was just curious to learn about your school situation. You're a sophomore now, right?"
"Yeah...I will be. In the fall." You said quietly. Homelander smiled, where he now stood beside your chair at the point of the uniquely shaped table.
"Well that's fun, isn't it?" He asked as he pulled out one of the other swivel chairs and pulled it towards him. "One more year and then you're one of the big dogs." You nodded, watching his movements as he sat down, facing you. Everything about him just seemed so...strange. Even the way he moved. It looked almost calculated...and was mildly unsettling.
"I guess..." You said quietly. You sighed as you rested your chin on your knees, grabbing onto the table to reluctantly turn your chair to face his...it was only polite.
"You don't seem too thrilled..." He started, his blue eyes meeting the identical set that you possessed, "Was school really that bad?" That was more of a rhetorical question on his part, he knew everything about you.
"The teasing sucks...They call me 'Laser Eyes'..." Homelander stifled a laugh when you said that, to which you narrowed your eyes.
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry!" He said with a chuckle, "That is the stupidest insult I've ever heard!" Homelander took a moment to stop laughing before he looked back to you. "Look. I'm not laughing at you, kiddo. I would never. But Laser Eyes...? Really? They couldn't come up with anything more original? I mean...Even I'd be hesitant to insult you considering you could just laser them in half." He said. His smile was almost manic looking.
"What?" You asked, almost dumbfounded. "I would never...I could never." You said. You pulled your chin off your knees, your eyes still narrowed.
"Why couldn't you? You're a Supe...aren't you? I mean...mommy swooping in and bribing administration to take disciplinary action against those little shit stains isn't exactly making you out to be the strongest person..." You almost immediately sat up correctly in your chair.
"She bribed the administration...?" You ask softly. Homelander gave a mock frown as he noticed your eyes become glossy.
"You didn't know? Gosh...How much was she keeping from you?" You swallowed as he spoke and tried your best not to cry. The last person you wanted to look pathetic in front of was Homelander...Especially considering his earlier comment about it not being a good look that your mom always had to swoop in and save you. "Awe..." He started, scooting his chair closer to yours. "Don't cry kiddo...It's not your fault that you're so lost...It's hers." Your eyes met his once again, a tear slipping down your cheek, which you quickly reached up to wipe away.
"Lost?" You ask. Homelander nodded.
"Well, most Supes your age, with your abilities usually already have a professional presence...Or at least know how to use their powers correctly." He said, tilting his head to the side ever so slightly. "I mean, had I raised you? Had you not been wrongfully stolen from me after you were born? You'd already have a place in the Supe community, followers...maybe even a contract with Vought. You wouldn't just be floating in your own little bubble...You'd have a group. A family." Something in you broke when he spoke. Your mother had stolen you from your biological father? And had he raised you, you wouldn't be so...you? So lonely and misplaced? You couldn't help the tears that slid down your cheeks. It was as if your entire life had been flipped upsidedown.
"She...S-she really kept all that from me?" You asked. Homelander tutted softly, almost pitying you. He stood up and held out his arms.
"Come here, kiddo..." He said softly, with a tone of empty sympathy. You almost immediately stood up and buried your head in his chest. At this point....What else did you have? Who else did you have? He chuckled softly as he wrapped his arms around you, his hug firm, considering he was so much larger than you...yet comforting, despite the strange material of his suit.
'It's alright, Y/N...You're right where you need to be. We'll get you up and running with those powers of yours in no time..." He said softly, resting his chin on top of your blonde hair. He caught the reflection of the two of you in the large window that lit the room and his grip tightened, almost possessively. "You're not alone anymore...got it? You've got your dad to keep you company..." You nodded against his chest, sniffling.
"Got it." You responded softly, hugging him a bit tighter. Maybe this wasn't so bad. Maybe Homelander, no, your father was what was best for you. How could you have been living in the dark for so long without realizing it...? You were truly lost. But everything was okay now. You were finally safe, in your fathers embrace.
Homelander smiled wickedly at his own reflection in the window before he rested his cheek on your head. Finally...he had you. His own child that he had been trying to get his bloody hands on for years...Losing another Vought scientist was a necessary sacrifice in the bigger picture of his perfect narrative...and it all started right here. With you. His child. He smiled as he pulled away from the hug, his hands gently squeezing your shoulders.
"How does a milkshake sound, huh? I know Planet Vought has a double chocolate one that's yummers." You smiled and nodded as he moved his thumb to wipe the tears from your cheeks.
"I love chocolate." You said with a small laugh. Homelander chuckled as he turned you towards the door of the meeting room and started walking, his firm hand on your shoulder urging you forward.
"I know."
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I hope ya’ll enjoyed! I left it open for more parts so totally let me know if you’d be interested in reading more. Writing for Homes is always a questionable adventure 💀 Until next time, Adieu!
#homelander x reader#homelander#the boys#the boys fanfic#the boys fanfiction#billy butcher#vought#the boys season 4#the boys fandom#homelander x male reader#homelander x fem!reader#writer
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the bad room ~ homelander;the boys
word count: 2654
request?: no
description: in which a ghost from his past returns when he needs her the most
pairing: homelander x female!reader
warnings: swearing, use of y/n, lil bit of angsty angst, mentions of death and violence, mentions of threatened suicide, mentions of what homelander and reader went through in "the bad room", the boys typical stuff, spoilers for 4x04, reader was also raised in "the bad room" but is not homelander's sister we'll say she created using another supe's dna
masterlist (one, two, three)
"John?"
The name that just moments ago made him so angry he saw the brightest of reds, brought him to a halt. It wasn't the name, but rather the voice. When he turned and saw her there, he was almost certain it was a hallucination.
"(Y/N)?"
He hadn't seen her in years. Since she somehow escaped The Bad Room before he was set free of it. Before he became Homelander. But it felt like she hadn't changed at all. Not her eyes, watching him with care and concern. Not her face, just as beautiful as he remembered. Not the fuzzy feeling in his stomach just being in her presence.
He was tempted to take her in his arms and never let her go, but then he remembered the blood soaked super suit and the thick liquid still dripping from his face and hair; the blood of the people who tortured them both.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
A wry smile twisted on Homelander's face. "Visiting home."
Her eyes flickered to the building behind them. "Did you leave anyone alive?"
"Barbara."
(Y/N)'s face darkened. "Should've killed her first, very slowly and painfully."
Homelander chuckled, humorlessly. "That's quite the thing to say about your mother."
"That woman was never a mother to me."
"She raised you."
"If that's all it takes, then Vogelbaum was your dad, right?"
Homelander scowled at her. "Point taken."
(Y/N) looked him up and down. He suddenly felt very self conscious and small, even though he stood a few inches over her. They were emotions he thought he wouldn't feel anymore; human emotions. He was supposed to have left those behind in The Bad Room. That was the whole reason he had come back to this nightmare.
But he realized he wasn't feeling this way in a negative way. Well, he definitely felt ashamed that (Y/N) had to see him like this. But he realized he felt small because he was remembering every moment he and (Y/N) had in The Bad Room. She was the only good thing about that place. They kept each other going; they kept each other sane. When she suddenly disappeared, he thought the worse. He wanted to escape himself, to burn the whole place down, to burn himself with it. But he was still young, not yet The Homelander.
He later found out she was alive and had just managed to escape. He would've been angry that she didn't take him if he wasn't so heartbroken by it.
"I live nearby," (Y/N) said, breaking the silence. "You can come over and get cleaned up."
It took him a moment, but he finally registered what she had said. "Yeah. Okay. Lead the way."
(Y/N) seemed confused. "Um...I drove here."
Now it was Homelander's turn to look confused. When he realized she was being serious, he said, "Oh...okay. Well...you drive and I'll follow your car."
"You think it's a good idea to risk people seeing Homelander flying around covered in blood?"
He knew she wasn't wrong, but he hadn't driven in a car since...well, maybe ever.
"I'll clean the seats later, and it'll be less risk for your image," she said. "John...please?"
She wanted him to come over. She wanted to spend time with him. In her space. How could he say no?
That's how Homelander found himself stood under a stream of hot water in an unfamiliar bathroom. The blood ran from his face and hair, staining the water red as it ran down the drain. He found himself looking at the products she had there - her body washes and shampoo. He tried not to think too much about the fact that there were no men's products there. Although, he would've appreciated some men's body wash at the very least. He wasn't sure if he could handle using her body wash and smelling so much like her.
Eventually the water went from red to clear, so he shut it off. He wrapped one of the towels (Y/N) had left for him around his waist. He had left his suit on the floor, but now it was gone and any blood that had dripped onto the floor was cleaned. Homelander found himself blushing at the thought of (Y/N) coming into the bathroom while he was showering without him knowing, but then the blood moved from his face to a lower area.
He walked out of the bathroom and into (Y/N)'s living room. She was sat on her couch with a glass of wine in hand. He could smell bleach trying to be masked by the smell of hand lotion, which told him that she had cleaned her car while he was in the shower.
"Does that stuff get you drunk?" he asked, even though he knew the answer.
"Of course not," she responded. "I drink it for the taste at this point."
He noticed her looking him up and down again, and he suddenly became very aware of the fact that he wasn't wearing any clothes.
"My suit..." he started.
"The cape is in my washer, but I wasn't sure how to wash the rest of it. Especially with those shoulder pads you have."
"That's okay. I can get someone back at the tower to dry clean it for me. They won't ask any questions."
(Y/N) winced and took a sip of her wine.
"I have some clothes you can borrow," she said, placing her glass down and standing from the couch.
"I don't think any of your clothes will fit me," Homelander said, a smile tugging at his lips.
She gave him a look, but he could see she was smiling as well. "They're men's clothes."
His smile suddenly fell. "Oh."
"They're my brother's."
He should've been happy for that clarification, but it only made his brow crease more. "Brother?"
"Foster brother, but I see him as an actual brother," she explained. "He stays over whenever he's in New York so he's left some clothes here. They should fit you."
He dressed in the clothes that (Y/N) gave him, but he was filled with more questions. She had a foster brother, did that mean she had a whole foster family? It would make sense, she was still a minor when she had escaped. He guessed she couldn't just live on her own under the age of 18.
But couldn't she? She had powers. She was raised to be a Supe just as powerful as himself. She could've taken care of herself, gotten whatever she wanted.
But maybe what she wanted was a real family.
But they weren't her family. They were just posing as one.
He was still turning these thoughts over in his head as she entered her living room again. She was back on the couch with a second glass of wine. He didn't drink alcohol. He was told he couldn't before. He had an image to uphold. But who cared about that image now? He literally killed a man and got away with it.
He sat next to her. She took a sip of her own wine before looking at him. "You have questions."
That was an understatement.
But she was opening the floor for him to ask everything on his mind, and he had a lot of things he wanted to know.
The first thing out of his mouth was, "Why were you there tonight?"
She seemed almost amused by this being his first question. "Barbara called me. She said there was a breach."
"What are you, their bodyguard?"
"That's what she thinks. Or...thought, I guess."
"I didn't kill her. I left her with the bodies of the people who tortured us."
(Y/N) looked at him, almost in disbelief, before a laugh slipped from her lips. "Jesus, that's worse than death. That's what she deserves."
"Why does she still have your number? You escaped, why would you want any connections to her or-or that place?"
She sighed. "It's...complicated."
"Then uncomplicate it for me."
When (Y/N) looked at him, there was no fear in her eyes. Not like most people who get this close to him, who know what he's done and have to deal with him after the fact. Instead, he saw sadness. And with it, any ounce of anger that was growing in him evaporated.
"I didn't escape, I made a deal with Barbara and Vogulbaum. I told them either they let me go and stop trying to train me and make me into their next Supe princess, or the second they let me leave the facility and put me on camera I would reveal everything those people did to us. And then...and then I'd kill myself on live television so the world knew what Vought did to us."
Homelander watched her as she took a sip of her wine. Well, a gulp more like it. She finished the contents of her glass and reached for the bottle to get herself more. He reached for his own glass and swallowed it all in two gulps. He winced at the taste and suddenly was glad he never drank before.
(Y/N) started to refill his glass when he asked, "Why didn't you take me?"
She paused. He could hear her heart rate picking up, and he could see the tears welling in her eyes.
"They wouldn't - " she started, but choked on her tears. She cleared her throat and tried again. "They wouldn't let me. I tried to negotiate it with Barbara, but she said no, and she said even if she agreed Vogelbaum never would. She said the deal was only me, and if I didn't take it then...then that was it. I had to stay, continue all the training and...experiments. Neither one of us would ever get out if I agreed to that, so...I took their deal. They rushed me out in the middle of the night so that you wouldn't know, blindfolded me so that I wouldn't know where the facility was, and then dropped me in the middle of nowhere to fend for myself. I was hitchhiking for hours when this family drove past and found me."
"What did you tell them?" Homelander asked.
"I lied and said I had no idea what happened to me. I said bad people took me and I couldn't remember who they were or where I came from. Only that I remembered my first name, the only name that Barbara gave me. They looked into missing persons and couldn't find me anywhere here or in any other state. So - "
"They took you in," he finished. "They fostered you."
(Y/N) nodded. "They wanted to adopt me officially, but that's a whole process. They became like my family anyways. Like I said, I'm still in contact with them."
"Do they know you have powers?"
She shook her head. "I haven't used my powers since I got out of there. Not on purpose, anyways. There's always the odd slip up, but that's bound to happen."
Everything she said just resulted in more questions in his head. He wanted to ask her why she never disclosed to her "family" that she had powers, but he figured the answer to that was pretty simple: she wanted to be normal.
But she's not normal. She's never been normal. She was made to be a God, like me.
Instead of saying that, he said, "You never...called. Or came by the tower or...anything. You never tried to contact me."
"I did once, remember? When you asked me to be in The Seven."
Oh, he remembered. It was just after Lamplighter had announced his intention to leave, before they put out a nation wide search for a new member that resulted in Starlight joining the team. He asked Stillwell to wait on putting out word on a search because he had someone he wanted to ask first. Reluctantly, he turned to Vogelbaum, because he knew they must've had an idea of where (Y/N) ended up. Even when he thought she had just escaped, he knew they never would've let her truly be free of them. He asked Vogelbaum to send her a message: "Please come join The Seven. It would mean the world to me if you did."
Almost immediately, Vogelbaum called the tower to let Homelander know she had responded. "She said I'm sorry, but I can't."
He was locked in his room for days after that.
Now, he scoffed at her bringing up that memory. "That's not trying to contact me. That's responded to me trying to contact you, and having to go through Vogelbaum of all people to do it. You basically fell off the face of the Earth to me, but I was readily available to you if you ever gave enough of a fuck to reach out."
"You think I didn't care?!" (Y/N) snapped, standing from the couch. "You think I wasn't thinking of you every second after I got out of that hell hole?! That I wasn't trying for years to figure out where the hell they had you hidden so I could come save you, too? I tried everything John! I looked everywhere that I could, but I was too late. They were already parading you around on TV as the next Soldier Boy! The second they announced you'd be the leader of The Seven, I knew I was too late. They had already corrupted you too much, you were already another Supe pawn in Vought's attempts at global domination. I couldn't handle that. I couldn't try to pry you away from that when I knew you would never leave the spotlight. How could you? You're the world's greatest superhero, you had everyone at your feet. And I was just the girl who ran away from that life and stopped using her powers. How could you ever choose me over that?"
"I would've chosen you every time!" Homelander snapped back, getting to his feet as well to stand over her. "That's why I asked you to join The Seven!"
"But that's not what I wanted, John! I didn't want to be a hero. If I took you up on your offer, I would be letting Barbara and Vogelbaum and all of those other fuckers win. I just wanted to be normal! I wanted me and you to be normal!"
"But we're not fucking normal!"
Tears were running down her face as she backed away from him. He realized then that he was crying, too. So much built up emotion between the two of them was finally coming out. They both needed it, but goddamn, Homelander felt his heart breaking all over again.
Maybe this wasn't a good idea.
Suddenly, (Y/N) was throwing herself at him. Her arms were around his neck, holding onto him for dear life, and her lips were on his. He was surprised at first, but quickly wrapped his arms around her to hold her to him. He could taste the salt of their tears mixed with the wine they had been drinking. It was messy and far from the perfect kiss, but neither of them cared. It was the cultivation of years of emotions between them.
(Y/N) pulled away first. She rested her forehead against his, looking into his bright blue eyes. "I can't be your perfect Supe counterpart. I can't be a Supe, John, you have to understand that."
"I do," he said. "Whatever you need, I won't push you. I just want you back."
"You can have me," she said, her voice a whisper but he could still hear her plain as day. "You always had me."
He leaned in to kiss her again, picking her up in his arms as he did so. He never wanted to let her go again, so he wouldn't.
#homelander#homelander imagine#homelander x reader#antony starr#antony starr x reader#antony starr imagine#the boys#the boys imagine#one shot#imagine#fanfiction#fanfic#fandom
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All I Ever Wanted, All I Ever Needed Pt. 3 finale
Warnings: siblingxsibling implications, Homelander being such a narcissist that he falls in "love" with his own sibling, Homelander being a stalker, innocent reader, naive reader, Homelander being a basic menace, some uncomfortable parts, dubcon, secrets, manipulation, grooming (feel like that's what Homelander is doing), age gap, power imbalance, series finale, definite angst, no real comfort 😅
Words: 3609
Summary: Your world comes crashing down all around you.
Part 1 Part 2
Starlight recoils when she reads the headlines a few days after she paid a visit to the Boys.
She doesn't want to read the rest of the article, but her thumb resists the signals her brain is desperately throwing at it. A picture dated three days ago had her sagging to the mattress of her hotel room.
You were decked in the obnoxious Vought produced supe outfit. While not being an exact copy of Homelander's, it still bore his signature colors in some way. You're standing proudly next to Homelander who has a possessive hand hovering near your waist.
There's a loss she feels that she can't quite place. Starlight felt like she failed to protect you in some way. She should have told you soon after her discovery, but Stillwell held other plans for her. Transferred to another district to collaborate with a fellow supe that was under Vought contract.
Immediately Starlight wonders if being sent away at that moment was on purpose. There was too much for it to be a mere coincidence.
Which only meant that Ashley and possibly Stillwell were aware of the truth behind you and Homelander.
This really did go all the way to the top.
How on earth was she going to help you now? You were getting too entangled with not just Homelander, but Vought as well. The closer you got to Homelander, the tighter Vought's grip was on you. And that meant the more difficult it would be to get you out. You were being groomed, that much was certain to Starlight as she tries to formulate a new plan.
All she could think of now was her actions harming you. Now that you were in love with Homelander, you might resist the truth.
On cue, a ring rips through her anxious self musings. Hughie to save the day.
"This whole situation is fucked, Hughie." Starlight spits out the second she answers.
"I know." Hughie hurriedly acknowledges. "Do you think Homelander is aware that. . . t-that's his sister?"
That's another pointed question that Annie was stumped on. She couldn't offer him an answer. Positive of one thing though, Annie grabs her belongings while pressing her phone to her ear with the help of her shoulder. There was no use in just sitting there and wondering.
She'd get the answers herself. Returning to Vought Tower immediately was her one good option.
Hughie reminds her to be careful, that Homelander was volatile and most likely wouldn't hesitating in bashing her head in.
From the outside of the sky piercing building, everything appeared to be business as usual. Even on the first floor nothing felt off to Starlight. She was greeted with friendly 'hellos' by employees left to right.
Once the elevator dings and stops at Floor 99, Starlight nearly leapt out of the lift the moment the doors parted. In her haste she accidentally bumps into Maeve.
"Whoa, slow down there." Maeve eyes her up and down with suspicion.
"Is it true that Homelander and (y/n) are dating now?" Starlight quietly hisses, trying to pull the one other female supe aside to a more secluded corridor.
"Starlight I know its weird but (y/n) is an adult and-"
Inwardly Starlight's skin crawls at the idea that Maeve was okay with the obvious power imbalance between Homelander and his new unfortunate paramour. For a hot second, she debates whether or not to tell Maeve the truth. Would she believe her though?
It would be an outlandish claim to make against the leader of the Seven. And you. . . You would face so much backlash and hate. God, Starlight hopes that the two of you haven't slept together yet.
Rudely leaving Maeve to ponder what was going on, Starlight storms to find the one person who most likely already knows the truth.
"Ashley!"
There's a momentary freeze in her walk, back turned to Starlight. When Ashley realizes who it is, she releases of sigh of relief. "Oh. Starlight. Welcome back."
"I need a moment with you in your office."
"Unfortunately I have an important meeting to attend right now. Call my assistant-"
"Goddamnit Ashley." She was losing her patience. Starlight's much stronger hand abruptly lashes out to grab hold of Ashley's arm.
Ashley knows better to play around with the temper of supes. Her face drains as she tries to retain an ounce of courage to nod her head and follow Starlight back to the security of her office.
But when Starlight finally voices the accusation, something awful happens to Ashley's expression. Pure fear.
"Just leave it Starlight!" Ashley snapped, attempting to rise up to a taller height.
"You know?" Starlight's eyes are round. "How long have you known?"
Biting the bottom of her lip, a hand raises shakingly to the tips of her red hair in an anxious manner. Like she wanted to tug a lock free from her scalp. Her eyes become glassy with tears that she refused to spill in front of Starlight.
"From the beginning. . ." Ashley's voice comes out as if she's about to cry. "Mr. Edgar told me to keep my head down and my mouth shut if I wanted to keep my job. And keep my life. . ."
"Who else knows?"
The newly christened VOUGHT CEO shakes her head. "No one else. But documents do exist. . ."
"Homelander's lying to her! She doesn't know that. . . Oh god, she doesn't know that he's her blood brother!" Impossible to keep her voice down when she was so outraged. Starlight wasn't sure if Homelander was in the Tower at the moment. It was dangerous to be too loud.
"I-It's absolutely wrong. I know, but Starlight- I'm so fucking terrified of what Homelander would do to me if I tried to take her away. I'm sorry Annie. I can't. I can't get between him and something he really wants."
Pursing her lips, Annie nods but doesn't blame Ashley. "I get it."
Starlight will just have to do it herself then.
You'd been floating on cloud nine after Homelander kissed you. What really shocked you was Homelander immediately asking you on a date after the kiss. Like he was too impatient to wait any longer to ask you out. Never thinking that America's number one supe would be interested in you in that way. As a kid he was your childhood crush. The perfect man. Strong, handsome, charming, no one else could compare to the perfection of Homelander.
While you were nervous for the first date, being with him actually soothed you. He treated you like a princess. His princess. And since that day, it really has felt like one of those fantasy romance novels you enjoyed reading.
He proudly showed you off on his arm whenever someone asked for a picture. Some of his fans were excited to see you join the Seven one day and make your supe debut next to your boyfriend. You knew they were only flattering you because Homelander gazed at you with such adoration.
"Once they get to know you, they'll love you." Homelander flashed you that smile that had your tummy bubbling like jacuzzi jets. "My love will have to be enough for now."
That caught you off guard. Love. "Your love?"
Homelander leaned in, lips hovering over your's. "Yes."
You got to experience him the way no one else has had the pleasure to witness.
With you, Homelander was utterly soft and affectionate. Watching tv you'd have his head in your lap, running your fingers through his blonde hair. You swore you heard him purr a few times. Homelander (he insisted you call him 'John' when the two of you were alone) would nuzzle his face into your thighs with the happiest grin on his face. Like he'd never experienced such bliss before.
He was the modern day equivalent to all mighty Zeus. A god. Yet he was acting similar to a cat who rubs their cheek possessively against you.
This man could easily laser your face off in a millisecond. Homelander never showed any aggression toward you. Not one harsh grip unless it was in passion.
You don't dwell on the face heating thought that was started to tug at your tummy.
"Starlight! Welcome back!" You smile ear to ear once you spot a familiar blonde head.
She spins on her heels and there's an expression of relief when she realizes its you who called out her name.
As she rushes up to you, you ask her "Did you just get back?"
Directly in front of you, Starlight's dark eyes seem to scan you. For what, you don't know.
When she doesn't say anything, you repeat her name and she comes back to herself. Blinking thick lashes once before shaking her head. "Sorry. Still jetlagged. Yeah. I just got back about half an hour ago."
"You're probably exhausted then." You smile and grip her arm with affection. "I'm glad you're back! I've been missing you as a sparring partner."
Even as you spoke, there was a loud ringing in your ears from the erratic thumping of Starlight's heartbeat. She was scared of something.
"Not one bit. It's good to be back. Reinvigorates me. Hey, are you busy right now? I was really craving some coffee from this really good cafe. Wanna tag along?"
The skip of her heart sounds like a plead for you to say yes. You try to keep your face worry free. "Yes! I would love to."
Did something happen on her assignment?
The walk took you several streets over, far from the Tower. During that time, she talked about where she'd been sent, what the operation was. You in turn told her about your accomplishments with your powers and training. Leaving the news about Homelander for last.
Tempering the excitement in your voice, you eye Starlight for a response. There was an unexplainable kinship you felt with her. She was the big sister you never had. Maeve was inspirational enough, but someone you felt like you would never be able to get close to.
"And how's it been? The relationship?" She tentatively asks. "Has he been treating you right?"
Enthusiastically you nod. "He has! I was worried at first, because of the age gap and, ya'know, he's THE Homelander. But. . . he's been so sweet and caring. I've never had a boyfriend before so maybe I'm being too hopeful about it."
At the cafe and with your orders in front of you, you recline into the leather chair. Neither of you being in supe uniform, no one bats an eye in your direction. “Are you okay Annie?”
“Me?”
You nod. “When I saw you… well, you sounded off. A little distressed.”
Annie tries to think of lies to tell you. Looking at your large, hopeful eyes killed her. She rolls her words around her mouth before spitting them out. "I guess I am a little distressed. About you and Homelander."
Waiting to see if you'd disregard her, Starlight attempts to continue but is caught off by a gruff voice "You finally tellin' the poor girl what kind of monster Homelander is?"
You're more so shocked at Starlight hissing 'Fuck' than the lumbering man behind you. Eyes, hair, clothes, even the aura smudged around him was pitch black. It made the hairs on the back of your neck stand.
"Annie?" You look to her.
She's glaring at this dark interloper. "Get out of here."
He ignores her, and grabs a chair from a nearby abandoned table to join the two of you. The cafe was buzzing with noise allowing some coverage for personal discussions.
Chair positioned closer to you, his eyes drill into you with scrutiny. You'd never felt such resentment in a gaze. "Aren't you a naive little girl."
"Stop it, Butcher. I was just about to explain to her-"
"Annie, it's okay. Lower your voice." You don't know how you keep calm when deep down you're scared of what was going on. That was one thing you really learned from Maeve: act calm under pressure.
Annie takes in a slow breath. "I did mean to tell you sooner. . . It's just been hard for me to. . . you know, figure out how I was going to tell you." Her eyes are glossy. She leans in, so close her cheek brushes against your's as she whispers into your ear. . .
Butcher watches the slow widening of your eyes in sick satisfaction. How your face blanched of any color, robbed of any other expression besides one of revulsion.
You'd barely made it into the restroom stall before your throat was lined with the acidity of your vomit.
She wouldn't lie to you.
Why would Annie lie to you about this?
You didn't want to believe though. To do so would rip you apart. Homelander was-
Gagging, you hunch over the porcelain rim. Ears clogged, you're surprised that you catch the sound of the restroom door opening. Starlight's tentative voice calls out to you. She stands right outside the stall you occupied.
The last thing you wanted to do was show your face ever again, to anyone. "Who else knows?" Your throat hurts when you speak. Choking back a new wave of tears, you repeat your question when she didn't answer after a few seconds.
"I think it's best if you come with me. . ."
You did. After cleaning your face up, you let Starlight walk you out and back to the man called Butcher who patiently waited. From there he led you and Starlight through a dizzying array of side streets and dark alleys. No words were exchanged. Once safely inside a dingy apartment you were met by several others. The Boys, Starlight called them.
While Butcher may have been a complete bastard, the others appeared to possess more empathy toward you. They answered all of your questions to the best of their abilities.
Very few knew of your real relationship with Homelander. High up Vought executives (including Ashley). None of the Seven knew. Except. . .
"He knew. This entire time he knew." Hearing you whisper that broke Starlight's heart. She shares a look with Hughie to see his own sad shimmer in his eyes. "Why then- I don't understand. Why then did he-" Something in your stomach turns. You just can't say it out loud.
"Because he's fucked up." MM softly tells you.
For a moment you worriedly chew on your bottom lip mercilessly. "I can't go back." You'd never be able to look at him again. All the wonderful things you thought had happened to you since arriving at the tower were all based on sick lies and deception. Those who knew the truth must have thought of you as a stupid, naive child. Sheltered the entirety of her life before being thrown to the lions.
Annie gathers your hands in her's. "You don't have to. You don't have to step foot in there ever again."
"Unfortunately I don't think that's up to her." Butcher interjects. "The moment Homelander finds out she's not at Vought Towers, he'll be after her scent. You think he's going to be willing to let you go that easy?"
Hughie sighs, wishing his friend had more bed side manners. The truth of Butcher's words terrified you.
Homelander wasn't someone who you could hide from easily. Your powers, while being near identical to his, were no where near as honed. Telekinetic ability was the major one that you had over Homelander. Would that be enough to stop him?
Butcher's resentment toward supes, holding majority sway in his mindset, regards you with a crumb of respect. You didn't cry in front of him or any of the others present. Sclera of your eyes were red and held a mirror-like shine, but not one tear.
You were created for the sole purpose of one day going up against Homelander in a fight. The proof was the ink on the paper. Why you were raised so different from him.
And why you realize you have to go back to Vought Tower if not to publicly stand your ground and and separate an ties you had to both Vought and Homelander.
Your eyes were wide open now.
The upper levels of Vought were suffering from a Homelander melt down. Ashley found herself cowering under her desk the second she was able to whimper out that you were gone. He exploded in a flurry of rage when he came back from searching for you and he couldn't spot you anywhere.
He's screaming at Analytics, terrifying the poor workers to scan their screens faster. In and out of Vought Towers, many civilians from below only hear the zooming sound that he produces when he shoots across the sky. Making laps around the city to no avail.
"GOD DAMNIT ASHLEY!! You better have some good fucking news-" His eyes widen, body freezing.
You stood in the mess of ruined furniture that Homelander destroyed in his rage. Homelander breathes out your name, a delirious smile relaxing his face. "You worried me! I didn't know where you were! Wh-Where were you actually?" Catching his attention are the bags at your feet.
Fuck.
He can't breathe.
"I know everything." Grief and disgust hollow out your insides to where you felt a controllable numbness. It helped take the edge off for the moment.
"What're you talking about?" His smile remains, but there's definitely something cold about it.
This was the side of him that the Boys warned you about. "Stop. You know what I'm talking about. At least give me that bit of respect, Homelander. Or should I refer to you as brother?"
Reek of fear emanates from him. That revealed plenty.
"You don't understand-" Making the mistake of trying to get closer to you, you shoot him red eyes searing with the threat of lasers. Its enough to make him think again.
"Were you ever going to tell me? O-Or were you going to lie to me for the rest of my life?
"I never lied to you!" Homelander flinches at the volume of his own voice. Heavily breathing, he finds himself clenching and unclenching his hands.
Anger burns the backs of your eyes quite literally. "You told me that you loved me! You don't lie to people you love." You grind out.
"I do love you! Believe ME!" He craved to find out who told you. "Just let me talk! I only want what's best for you. Always! I LOVE you!"
Those three words that previously had your heart doing flips now makes you recoil. "Don't. Don't say that anymore. We're related!!"
"I know we are! Which means that any potential child we have will be the ultimate example of how supes can transcend their mortal skin to that of a god!"
You stare at him in naked disbelief. The red flags seemed so obvious now. Using the psionic aspect of your powers, your bags lift from the ground. Chest shuddering when you breathe out "I'm getting the fuck out of here. We're done."
"Now hold on!" Attempting to invade your space and perhaps push you in a corner, your control over your bags drops and instead it picks up several broken leg chairs with sharp ends all primed toward Homelander. His eyes glow at your disobedience.
No one breathes.
Slowly backing up to the broken window that allowed you access, you keep your gaze on him as you disarm and mentally reach for your bags.
"Don't come after me. Or I'll kill you."
With that you fall backward out the window and take to the sky.
Was this what it was like to experience a heart attack? The ringing in his ears wasn't letting up, banging at the walls of his skull.
Homelander lets out a wild howl that follows you all the way back to the hideout of the Boys. It shook the windows of the entire street block, even managed to break a few too. Glass showers down on unsuspecting people who scream and cower for coverage.
He'd find out who told you and rip their spine out through their asshole.
For years he's waited for and wanted a family. Something to officially put his stamp on and claim as his legacy. You weren't going to ruin that for him. You just didn't understand yet. Perhaps the intensity of his love for you must have scared you. That had to be it.
He runs his gloved hand over his face, hating how it trembled. He may not be able to find you now, but it was inevitable that he'd see you again. Homelander would make sure of that.
Then he'll chain you to himself if he has to and force you to be happy.
You'd understand.
Soon.
You surprise the Boys, standing at their front door. Determination and a burning in your gaze that intrigued Butcher. Panting as you flew as fast as you could to put distance between you and Vought Towers. Bags dropping to your feet as you lean against the frame of the door. "How can I help take down that sick fuck?"
Butcher smirks "You realize this won't be easy lovey."
"I'm well aware." You curtly reply, tiring of his games. "If Vought kept this secret nice and tucked away, how many more secrets do they have in their possessions? To bring Vought to the ground, you need to use their own weapon against them. Who better than Homelander's very blood?"
"Well well, look who grew up in a matter of hours." There's encouragement in his deranged smile. "Scorched earth?"
You nod. "Scorched earth."
Open ended ending :p don't ya just love them? I might make kinda like an epilogue type thing later but as of now this mini-story is finished :)
Taglist:
@the-maladaptive-daydreamers
@demodemo909
#tw dark#tw dark content#reader insert#reader insert fanfiction#the boys fanfic#the boys series#the boys imagine#the boys#the boys x reader#the boys tv#the boys amazon#the boys homelander fanfic#homelander fanfiction#the boys homelander
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Obsessions
Short-Lived Queen Maeve x Homelander's Sibling! Reader
Warnings: Heavy Sibling x Sibling implications. HL is gross and has an odd obsession with himself which will be a part of the story a little bit going forward. There will be nothing explicit but for reference Reader-Insert is of age and I'm thinking mid-twenties and Homelander is a little bit older since I'm pretty sure his age is never stated in the show. If you are looking for a Homelander x Reader THIS IS NOT IT!!!
Summary: This was the day you decided that you were done being Homelander's pet, and wanted something more than the gilded cage he provided you. Based on the Marina and The Diamonds song Obsessions.
Trigger Warnings: Abuse, Violence, Sexual Content, Mental Health Issues, Controlling Relationships, Gross Sibling Relationship
Word Count: 1.9k
Sitting up in silk sheets, high up in Vought Tower looking out into the city somehow made you feel vulnerable. As if you couldn't fly or laser your way out of most situations that life threw at you. The rest could be solved with tight clothes and flashing your white teeth at the nearest camera or the person with the deepest pockets.
Still standing near the full glass window, you felt the cool glass pane under your fingertips, imagining the dizzying free-fall to the concrete below. Sometimes you fantasized about what hitting the ground would feel like, but mostly you stood far away from the window. Waiting for the day you weren’t scared to fall.
But like usual you walked into the bathroom and shoved your toothbrush around your mouth trying to get rid of the gross morning breath. This was the part of your life Vought and your brother tried so hard to scrub from the public's view. The part that made you feel human. Brushing the grossness from your mouth in the morning, picking at the skin around your fingernails, your bleeding and cracked lips from years of biting. All private, photoshopped, and covered in a thick layer of make-up.
When you inspected your face in the mirror you found tear tracks running down your face. Gently you wiped one with your finger and inspected it. Many things baffled you about being a superhero. Mostly it was the thought that you could give hope to so many people but you couldn't pull yourself out of your own despair. Still you rinse your mouth and splashed your face with freezing cold water, trying your hardest to clear your mind.
Then the door to your room clicked open as you stepped out of the bathroom. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, readying yourself for the day,”'Hey John, what are we doing today?"
You turned to see your older brother looking at you. He was already dressed in his suit. Some things never change after all, "Well a meeting with the rest of The Seven, training, a new movie we have to go over the details of and I don't know maybe we fly around and go get some dinner."
He always had your schedule memorized. You didn't even need to think about talking to Ashley because he was wholly concerned with where you were at all times. You used to be the same way. After all, the lab was so structured when you and he were there, and you were never far apart whether it be rooms separated only by a wall, which never did anything with the two of you having super hearing, or being burned alive together and watching the other regenerate one painful skin cell at a time.
Always together. Halves of the same coin. That's what they always told you and now what he tells you every chance he gets. Roughly, he grabs your arm and pulls you close, his breath hot against your face. This was his way of showing his power over you, and you didn’t show fear. You simply stared him down.
"I've gotta get dressed, John," You tried not to fight him. It always ended up worse when you tried to fight him.
He let you go and your feet hit the ground with a rough thump. You hadn't even noticed they weren't on the ground.
You changed into your suit, nearly identical to Homelander's in every way shape and form. Except you refused to have a cape on your suit. You didn't want to be like him in any way now but this was the only modification you were allowed to make without serious repercussions from your brother.
He was facing away from you but the fact he could turn, and that you could do nothing about it gave him power.
"Come on, sweetheart," He held his hand out for you to take and you did with an almost imperceptible sneer. He pulled you into a tight hug. You could hear him sniffing your hair while his hands found your waist.
You could feel tears welling in your eyes but you quickly blinked them away with one lingering thought. What a creep.
~~~
The conference room was not nearly any better than your room, that was except Maeve was on the other side of Homelander quietly looking over at you. Making eye contact was difficult with her because when you did, you were sure she was looking directly into your soul.
It wasn't that she knew what you were going through but that she could empathize with you. She was Homelander's girlfriend to the public after all. She was no stranger to the gross comments or too tight grips when you get close to saying something wrong or too personal.
You zoned out of the meeting. It was always the same thing with this group of complete idiots. You could feel The Deep's eyes on you, Noir was doing, well whatever he was doing, A-Train grew impatient next to you, Maeve tried to speak her opinion, while Homelander took over the conversation, and you sat there. Thinking.
Who would join you if you started fighting Homelander right now? Maeve, definitely. The Deep, would probably be too shocked to do anything. A-Train would probably be in that boat too, but may eventually step in to your aid. Noir might knock you out after one hit on him.
Another thought... Where would you go if you left? California, maybe, you always wanted to learn how to surf. Ireland, the rain might suit you well. Antarctica would be ideal. You doubt he would look for you there. A small smile crossed your lips and you thought about living in a romanticized version of Antarctica. An igloo perhaps. You would befriend penguins and do absolutely nothing. See no one, no cameras, no fake saves, just you and the endless snow, white in all directions like a visual static.
"...What do you think about that, Y/n?" The Homelander looked at you expectantly. You had no clue what any of this was pertaining to, just that Maeve was smiling and nodding her head.
"Absolutely, I agree and I can't wait." You gave the most generic answer you could muster along with a fake smile.
He smiled back, seemingly satisfied with the response you gave, "Starlight is going to be here tomorrow and you all will be on your best behavior. Make her feel welcome if you see her, we will have another meeting the day after tomorrow to introduce her to the team."
He stood up and clapped his hands, "Alright let's go, save the world people."
You got up trying your best to get out before, "Y/n... a minute please," his smile was that of a predator waiting for its prey to stop and smell the flowers.
"I'll catch up Maeve," She shot you a worried look but you waved her off, you would find her soon enough.
Once the room was vacated his smile snapped off his face, and he quickly stalked his way over to you, "Are you trying to embarass me in front of the team."
His hand found its way around your throat and squeezed, "I mean you're off in your own little dream world. Doing what exactly, you have everything. Adoring fans, a stylist at your beck and call, anyone you want at your fingertips, and most of all you have me."
Then his grip loosened and he looked sad. A wolf in sheep's clothing you had to say, "Is this not enough for you. Am I..."
You kicked him hard and he stumbled back as he landed on the ground, "Get off of me, John. Get a grip."
You nearly ran out of the room when Ashley opened it, clearly not aware of the unscheduled sibling meeting going on in the room.
~~~
"I think this should be a story about love persevering," John said extravagantly talking to the writers after taking his time to cool down, "Maybe a fight against an evil set of twins trying to I don't know this seems like a job for the two of you."
He gestured to the writers and they started jotting down ideas on their notepads, sometimes exchanging ideas with each other and writing some more. You were just staring at the wall across from you thinking about how easy it would be to laser a hole in it.
"I was also thinking," He drew the attention back to him, "Maybe I could save, Y/n, you know carry them off into the sunset."
Your eye twitched and you saw the writers glancing nervously at each other out of the corner of your eye.
"Well, sir, that's a bit..."
"Well you know..."
"What? Kind of what?" John asked and you could almost feel the heat rolling off of him.
"Creepy, John. It's creepy." You said glaring up at him from your seat on Ashley's leather couch.
He scoffed a little, "Well that's not the way I meant it."
"No John, all you ever think about is sick ideas involving me and you, and I'm sick of this!" You gestured around the room as the writers were sneaking out of the room. Ashley came between the two of you.
"Okay, I'm sure he did not mean it in that way. Why don't we cool down and come back to this script later, okay?" She was stepping on eggshells, and you knew you couldn't get her involved in this.
You may not like each other, but there was a tentative sort of mutual respect between the two of you. So you left. The two of you were making her nervous and you couldn't let her get hurt in whatever storm was brewing between you and your brother.
~~~
You didn't feel like doing anything for the rest of the day so you just went back up to your bedroom and laid on the bed staring at the ceiling. You played your favorite game, pretending that you didn't exist and you were just a particle floating in your room. Observing the world impartially and without any thought in particular.
That was until Maeve found you, unmoving. Just staring a hole into your ceiling. So she sat you up and shoved a water bottle to your lips and told you to drink. It was filled with Vodka, which you happily accepted. By no means were the two of you drunk, but it may have played a part in the following actions.
One minute you were talking about how stupid The Deep's facial hair was, the next her lips were on yours, and then you didn't have clothes on. It was a fast progression but not an unenjoyable one. You couldn't remember the last time you had felt so comfortable with a person, but then you realized it was never. You were a science experiment. Tested on with no remorse and shoved into playing the part of the hero.
So you savored each moment her lips were on you. Every time her tongue entered your mouth. Every touch she gave you. Every hair pull and every ounce of pleasure you tried to engrain in your memory.
The next morning when you slid yourself out of Maeve's arms and towards the window you didn't think of falling, but instead you thought of flying far far away from here. Even better taking down Homelander and spitting in his eye.
This was your second wind or maybe it was your third wind by now but that didn't matter. You had a purpose, and you had every intention of living up to it.
#the boys tv#the boys fanfic#the boys amazon#the boys imagine#the boys x reader#the boys tv x reader#the boys homelander#the boys homelander fanfic#the boys homelander fanfiction#the boys fandom#the boys tv fandom#the boys series
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WOULD YOU LIKE AN ALMOND JOY .ᐣ
( black noir x gn!crime analyst reader )
summary: after a long day of work, you try to unwind by watching your comfort show, but your solitude is interrupted by yet another visit from noir, who seems to be finding more and more excuses to spend time with you… (includes a C.AI bot as part 2 below!)
wordcount: 2k
tags: brief mention of NSFW pop-up ads, nerdy n’ socially awkward reader, noir’s disdain for almond joys but he makes up for it at the end <3
It had been a long day at the crime analytics office in Vought. As the sun began to set, exhaustion crept over you after reviewing incident report after report. Your eyes strained from the blue glare of your computer screen. You knew you had promised your boss you would organize the ever-growing database, but the tiny voice of procrastination was pleading for rest before your overworked brain turned into a pile of mush.
Rather than more paperwork—you, being the slacker of all slackers in this department, decided a well-deserved break was in order. And what better way to recharge than turning off the noggin and filling it with good ol’ fashioned mindless entertainment?
With a few tired clicks of your mouse, you booted up your go-to streaming site, which was none other than 123movies. Scrolling through the options, your cursor hovered over the play button of your favorite trashy drama. The kind of cheesy, perfectly predictable melodrama spun from the worst of amateur YA plots. It was practically comfort food for your fatigued mind, just what you needed to loosen up after the mental marathon that was this long day.
As the opening credits began to roll, your computer began to whir and hiss like an overtaxed engine, emitting gusts of unusually hot air from the vents. Suddenly, its screen slowed to a sluggish crawl, cluttered with a barrage of not-so-savory pop-up ads. Barely a minute in, the pixels already scrambled to form images better to left unseen—half naked women in risqué yet tacky mermaid-like attire, claiming they were ‘just around the corner and ready for a good aquatic fuck.’
First of all, what the absolute living hell is an “aquatic fuck”??
Did you even want to know? And most importantly, what happened to the ad blocker you installed just the other day? Judging by the contents, you had a sneaking suspicion that slimy, sea-dwelling degenerate, The Deep, had tampered with your computer… yet again.
“For the love of-… what’s with all these pop-up ads?” you muttered under your breath as excessively explicit ads crowded out the episode. Your eyes darted furtively around the room to check for wandering glances, hoping against hope that none of your coworkers had noticed the unwanted filth invading your screen. Heart pounding, you squeezed your chair closer to your monitor into a makeshift barricade, shielding the display as best you could while hastily clicking away at the intrusive ads.
As you hurriedly closed the remaining windows, an ominous shadow fell across the screen. Dreading what—or who—might be behind you, you slowly swiveled your chair around to find Black Noir's stoic stare boring into your own.
You stifled a yelp as you instinctively clutched the armrests, catching yourself on the edge of your seat before an ungainly spill to the floor. Noir had a way of materializing without warning, and it never failed to unnerve.
“N-Noir!” you managed, inwardly cringing as your voice broke on his name. “Fancy seeing you in these parts. I was just taking a quick break and y’know- stretching ‘em brain cells.” You tried for a lighthearted chuckle, but it emerged as more of a strained squeak that faded into an anxious hum.
With a jerky flurry of clicks and the browser minimized from view, whatever dignity you still retained disappearing along with it. All that did remain was you praying to the heavens above that he hadn't noticed its questionable contents (even if he most definitely had and simply chose not to comment)
When Noir offered no response, you of course charmingly barreled ahead in your frazzled daze. “But anyways, s-sorry about that… how uh, can I help you today?” your words tumbled out in a breathless rush, punctuated by a shrill laugh you hoped disguised the mortification simmering beneath.
Noir cocked his head, observing you with that same silent intensity. You fidgeted, hands twisting in knotted discomfort, the heat in your ears now engulfing your entire face. Was it the invasive pop-ups that had you squirming in your seat? Or the fact he could snuff out your existence faster than you can say “workers’ comp”?
Either way, beneath the weight of his stare, you already felt as if you were some peculiar, freakish creature pinned for study, rather than some bumbling employee just trying to unwind and watch their comfort show.
And to him, you indeed were a fascinating, bizarre little human.
Mercifully, Noir chose to extend a folder toward you, putting an end to your somewhat pathetic withering. You accepted it with a wordless nod, nearly sagging in your chair as tension drained from your shoulders.
Whirling towards the familiar clutter of your desk once more, you pretended absorption in the folder’s material, hoping this signaled Noir’s leave. After all, has anyone seen the state of you? It certainly wasn’t a flattering one. Yet from the corner of your eye, you detected no movement, no receding footsteps—his shadowy form remained statuesquely in place.
Believe it or not, this has been becoming a thing, a growing habit of late—and a suspicious one at that. Lately his breaks had grown longer, minutes lengthening to quarters of an hour, all spent hovering at your desk as you worked. However, his focus was solely on watching and observing you. He never exhibited a hint of thought or motive for his reason there, only leaving you with questions that seemed to multiply by each and every visit.
Noir, on the other hand, was somehow utterly convinced that you and him were two peas in a tightly-knit pod. He swore you two were best of buds for life—even if "life" so far had only amounted to the past two weeks' worth of half-hour stretches where he silently observed your work from the corner.
Ironically, you didn’t have the slightest inkling of how he really felt. Instead, you always assumed that he, like most supes, regarded you as little more than a puny mortal—a fragile, near-useless sack of flesh and bones whose skull he was one misstep away from caving in with bare hands.
But nope, Noir was simply here to bless you, the nerdy but cute crime analyst, with his presence—his rather… unsettling presence.
The familiar hush settled as you reluctantly returned focus to the task at hand. Hocus-pocus-focus, you chanted mentally, peeling away the last shreds of stray thoughts to tap into the zone of productivity. Unfurling the dossier Noir provided, you began sifting through documents for insight on his purpose in approaching you. Meanwhile, a flick of movement in the edge of your vision revealed Noir's attention veer off course, the almond joy perched beside your keyboard capturing his notice.
You tensed, hocus-pocus-focus breaking, all too aware of past disappearances of snacks in these briefings. Sure enough, his hand drifted noiselessly toward the candy bar, no doubt spurred by ingrained impulse to dispose of it per his usual custom. But you'd grown wise to his methods by now.
Not again, you sighed inwardly, snatching the almond joy and cradling it protectively as if it were your dear, beloved child.
Noir made no move to withdraw, palm outstretched expectantly. You frowned, struggling to keep frustration at bay. "Please, come on- not this time!.. It's my last one for the day." Brows pinching, your tone threatened to rise before steadying with a slow and calm inhale. No use losing composure over candy, no matter the principle. So all you could do was peer beseechingly at Noir in silent appeal, legs jittering restlessly under your desk in building apprehension.
Unfortunately, you found no signs of leniency in his obscured face—only his hand beckoning relentlessly for the almond joy. You plea was once again met with stony resolve, as if he was internally distressed by the mere presence of it. What was he? Deathly allergic to almond joys or something?
With a resigned breath, you delivered the almond joy towards Noir's waiting glove, unable to hide the disappointment dimming your features. Your lips curled into a slight pout, gaze sinking heavy into your lap at being parted from the treat. Though Noir was never one for words, it really didn’t take a rocket scientist to see you felt bullied into submission by his demands. At the end of the day, what power did a measly analyst like yourself hold against one of the Seven? As your fingers uncurled, releasing the candy into Noir's grasp, you couldn't help but feel a bit put upon, even if that wasn’t his intention at all.
Noir was well aware of the upset feelings his request had caused, so in an attempt to remedy the situation, his arm was sent in a backwards reach for the notepad he often used to communicate. However, he found himself at a loss as words eluded him, his thoughts swirling in frustrating circles of “What should I even say?”—muddled and incoherent. For a moment he stared at you, mask betraying no emotion as he grappled to find the right words, despite the prick of guilt nibbling at his conscience. Then, lacking any better option, he simply tossed the offending candy into the trash, perhaps with more force than intended.
Clearly, socializing was not Noir’s strong suit.
With no further acknowledgment, Noir spun on his heel and marched away. You watched his retreating, rigid form with discomfort clenching your insides, eyes falling onto the lonely candy discarded in the trash, its colorful wrapper mocking your current disheartened state.
Wearily, you turned away from the almond joy, redirecting your attention toward the computer as a means to divert your now soured mood. Maximizing the browser, you hoped that your planned show may have had time to load during the interaction. But upon inspecting the screen, you found the video remained stubbornly stalled, stuck on buffering dots and refusing to roll despite the minutes passed.
Just. Peachy.
One (super)human encounter had sucked the very life source out of your dog-tired body, and now this. It was really shaping up to be one of those days.
Thoroughly worn out, you gently laid your head down onto the desk, pillowing it against the crook of your folded arms as eyelids slid shut. All you craved was to simply sleep away the remaining time until you could finally escape this wretched shift and retreat to the sanctuary of your home sweet home.
─────────────────
As your shift wound down to its end, you were finally stirring from your slumber. Rubbing the sleep from your bleary eyes, your blurred vision sharpened to show your colleagues had long since departed while you were snoozing away.
Rising and squaring your shoulders, you began to gather your belongings in preparation to leave as well. Once you had collected everything and lifted to your feet, something in the far corner of your desk caught your eye. Approaching for a closer look in the dim lighting, the fuzzy outline gradually came into focus—a cluttered collection of Hershey's Kisses, their jumbled placement grouped to form the shape of a heart.
You blinked in bewilderment, rubbing your eyes once more to ensure you weren't imagining things. Stepping closer, you spotted a sticky note nestled within the heart of chocolates, scrawled upon in a crude, blocky hand. At first, you assumed it was some silly prank from one of your coworkers, but you knew you recognized the handwriting anywhere—it was Noir's.
Gingerly, you plucked the sticky note from the desk, lifting it to your line of sight to read the message. “Kisses taste better than almond joys…Sorry.” you read softly, your voice trailing off as confusion crept in.
Designed as a very apparent flirty gesture, the intent behind the note and chocolates still managed to whoosh straight over your head. As always seemed the case, even the most painfully obvious social cues could so easily evade your understanding—this proving no exception.
You slipped the sticky note into your pocket, then selected a foil-wrapped Kiss from the pile. Gently rolling the chocolate between your fingers, you unwrapped it and popped one into your mouth. You took time to savor its light cream filling beneath a smooth outer shell, face crinkling in thought and head tilting as you considered your verdict. “Eh… I’d beg to differ.” you mused with a shrug, slinging your bag over your shoulder as you took your leave from the office.
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Pssst- likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated in this household and keep me motivated! <3
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a C.AI bot as your very own part 2 where you thank Noir the following day:
a/n: saw somewhere that kisses don’t contain nuts but then I also saw someone else say they actually do??? So let’s just pretend the kisses Noir chose are completely nut-free for the sake of the plot 😭
also, the reader is very much based off Anika if it wasn’t obvious enough haha! She’s so y/n coded 😤💗
♡ divider credits: @/ianrkives
#the boys#the boys fandom#the boys tv#the boys series#the boys amazon#the boys fanfic#the boys x you#the boys x y/n#the boys x reader#the boys fic#black noir x reader#black noir#the boys black noir#black noir x you#black noir fanfiction#black noir smut#black noir the boys#homelander#homelander x reader#homelander x y/n#homelander x you#homelander smut#homelander fanfiction#billy butcher x reader#billy butcher x you#billy butcher smut#soldier boy#soldier boy x reader#soldier boy smut
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I Bet On Losing Dogs
484 words || Definitely fluff, Cuddling, Night terrors/nightmares, Homelander being loved, GN Reader ||
Inspired by the song I Bet On Losing Dogs by Mitski
Thank you to @homeb0ys for the gif and @hom3landr for being the beta
You’d only left your bed for two minutes, having to get up for a glass of water when you returned.
Only to find him already in it, the covers pulled up to his neck, his suit hanging on the valet stand you’d bought especially for him.
“Another nightmare?”
Homelander nods - for the most powerful supe in the world, it was almost astounding that he could be reduced to a mess by something as trivial as a bad dream.
At least it did before he told you all about the bad room.
Then it all just made sense.
You place the glass of water on the bedside table, removing your pyjamas and slipping into bed. Immediately, he pulls you to him, his face buried in the crook of your neck as your arms encircle him.
Sleeping naked with him isn’t always sexual.
Sometimes he just needs the skin-to-skin contact to help ground him when the dreams wear their terrifying disguises, masking the reality that they’re really just painful memories, forcing their way to the surface.
Your fingers rake through his hair, your lips pressed to his forehead, your hand tracing patterns on his back all the while, you sing softly to him.
“My baby, my baby. You’re my baby, say it to me.”
If only you knew how important you truly were to him, how you created a place of safety, his only anchor to reality when he’s lost in the maelstrom inside his own head.
It’s a prison, not one of his design.
But fabricated from the shards of a young boy’s shattered mind.
“Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down. I'll be there on their side, I'm losing by their side.”
This night’s terror has him shaking in your arms, hot tears cascading down your chest, prompting him to hold you even tighter to the point where it’s almost crushing.
You would struggle for breath if you hadn’t learnt how to breathe through it. The bruises you’ll have in the morning are a small price to pay for keeping the horrors of his past at bay.
He’s shaking - once again forced into the shape of a frightened boy with no one to comfort him.
But you’re here.
With your love and your warmth.
Actions always speak louder than words and, in the moments where he’s amid maddening horror, your actions speak deafeningly loud.
They drown out the reconciliations, the overwhelming fear that threatens to consume him, to drag him down to the darkest recesses of his psyche where he’s truly broken, truly vulnerable.
In the blink of an eye, he relaxes, nuzzling further into your chest while falling asleep. Yet your grip on him never falters, you hold him tight the whole night through, reminding him that he’s safe, that he’s not alone.
You’re the lighthouse for the ship that he is.
Guiding him home when he’s lost at sea.
#homelander x reader#homelander x gn reader#the boys spoilers#homelander fanfic#Homelander fluff for once#season 4 spoilers#homelander spoilers#the boys s4 spoilers#the boys season 4 spoilers
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when I write "he growled while he spilled inside of you" that's what I mean (in my head) lmao
#tumblr writers#writer memes#writers on tumblr#writer humor#writer struggles#ao3 fanfic#ao3#ao3 memes#the boys x you#homelander x reader#billy butcher x reader#bucky barnes x reader#dean winchester x reader#fanfiction#the boys season 4#the boys memes
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