#it has come to my attention that my sona does not exist

[rayofmisfortune]

Man... I miss my guy with blue outlines and dark fur I literally never let out of the oven

*sigh* they trully were the pinacle of androgyny

[capricioussun]

Ooh if you're doing headcanons, tell us about UF Papyrus! What does he do with his hands when standing still? What do his footsteps sound like? How close does he stand to people he is talking to? He's such an interesting character!

It would be my pleasure darling! UF Papyrus (most commonly nicknamed here as Edge) is like my It Blorbo. The final girl of my brain. It always comes back to him…

(Probably) unsurprisingly, a lot of his “standard” behaviors were heavily influenced by his world and upbringing, so you’ll mostly see a lot of…caution, in his behavior, especially around others!

I’m a big fan of the headcanon Papyrus stims and fidgets, but unfortunately, these traits are either seen as childish or anxious/nervous in UF, so he’s had to repress them to avoid appearing outwardly weak in any way. When standing idle, he’ll either cross his arms or rest his hands on his hips – for some reason, he doesn’t like having his hands down, so they’re rarely at his sides if he’s stationary unless he’s standing at attention as a Guard. Though in private, or maybe after some time on the surface, he’ll pick up a mild tap wherever his hands are resting (still usually crossed or on his hips, but also might be clasped in front of him). It’s a pretty mild tic, especially considering his gloves mostly dampen the sound, but if he’s really stressed, his hands are clenched into fists wherever they’re resting, and he may clench and unclench them periodically (usually a sign his LV is bothering him).

As for his footsteps! It actually varies a lot! I’d mentioned a little while back he has a number of different strides, but overall, he usually actually has a surprisingly light step! It comes from needing to be quiet, for stealth’s sake, and unlike many other interpretations of UF Papyrus, Edge doesn’t really wear heels because he’s…already very tall and it would just make existing a little more difficult for very little return. So if wearing shoes, it’s usually tactical boots or reinforced “work” shoes, which lend very little sound to his steps at all! Though if he was barefoot and non-binding (and on a hard surface like tile or hardwood), you’d be able to hear the little clicks and taps from his claws! But just for standard walking w/ shoes on, quiet and even paced!

Again, possibly unsurprising, but Edge much prefers to keep his distance when talking to others, at least outside of stab range. He makes sure to keep his volume up when speaking to others he’s not overly familiar with, taking on a little bit of his Guard-sona, because otherwise, he’s actually a bit of a mumbler! So he tries to make sure to keep a level, hearable volume so whoever he’s talking to doesn’t try to get closer. Conversely though, if it’s someone he’s familiar with, he’s usually more than okay with being closer, especially if it means he doesn’t have to pay attention to volume or how he’s talking. It’s not unusual to see him and Levi (his Undyne) basically shoulder to shoulder when they talk! Half habit from having discreet conversations back underground (the closer the better, for quiet’s sake), but also just because they’re bros and personal boundaries have diminished between them over the years! Same with Red (Sans)! Tends to stand closer to avoid raising his voice, especially since Red is so much shorter than him lmao

Also, a little fun additional fact u did not ask for, he actually really likes picking people up. He’s way too uncomfortable touching others pretty much at all back underground, but after surfacing and getting more used to physical contact, he really likes holding others! Loves to carry kids or pets, absolutely the guy who moves people to their bed if they fell asleep somewhere else. Something about it just makes him feel…steady, reliable. He’s also super protective so it might have a little something to do with that, too, but eh, it is what it is. (This is especially fun with Void (VF Papyrus) because he has two (2) sets of arms, this means he can and will just pick someone up and also continue doing things unhampered)

I agree!! Aggressively!!! I love him…

[uselessalexis165]

Facts about Lyka (1)

•She is a categorized type of Merfolk. In the category where her skin tone isn’t scene for humans, does have a human top half and fish like bottom half, only has four fingers instead of five, no nose mainly just two nostril holes, human like eyes and hair, visible gills at the sides of her rib cage and webbing between her fingers to help with swimming.

•Has two forms: a leg form and a tail form. Every Merfolk has an ability to transform from their tails or any other sorted bottom half to human legs. She was born into her tail form and only started to use her legs before she left her home. Stories on her planet tell how the Gods of her home gifted the Merfolk with this ability to have better access to the land and beyond the ocean of that is their home.

•Lyka’s tail form makes her almost six feet long (roughly 5’11 or 5’12) while her leg form reveals her at 4’11. This is because Merfolk who have these tails need them for better chances at swimming and dynamics, an extension of her real height. Her leg form just reveals her actual height out of water and needed of swimming dynamics.

•When she learned to turn into her leg form she taught herself to swim with her legs and try to even walk. She fell and tripped a LOT in her leg form, so it’s understandable she’s a bit of a klutz when walking or running.

•On her planet she has no one waiting for her to return home or hoping she’s exploring the galaxy safely. Lyka was completely orphaned at a very young age, which isn’t too uncommon on her planet, especially for the certain areas you’re in. Lyka was too young to remember anything about her suppose family when she was abandoned. She doesn’t remember what they look or sound like, doesn’t even remember what they originally named her. Surprisingly, she never grew into caring why she was abandoned or who her family was. She was focused on herself in other ways such as survival and hopes for her own future.

•She was named Lyka around by the people in her area of her planet. They named her that because she always seemed to attract attention from those around, sadly that attention was mostly from men. Growing annoyed and tired of this routine she slowly shut herself away from others. Always kept to herself, only spoke in harsh toned whispers if needed and did everything on her own.

•The area Lyka grew up is Filipino coded which explains her name. Her name is of Filipino origin meaning “pretty face”, hence to how she was renamed. Lyka herself is mainly half Filipino and American (basically just me cuz she’s my sona after all).

•Clothing on her planet is usually off planet sort of trade and incomes. Clothes don’t really mean much on Lyka’s planet. It’s mainly just for fashion. They either wear clothes or they don’t, it’s not a sign of power or monarchy, it’s just because they chose to wear it or not.

•Lyka was around 18-19 when she left her home to explore the vast and wide galaxy around her. She’s been off her home for only a year now and she’s still learning more and more by the day. She didn’t know about drinks like tea or juice, foods like purps or soup or the existence of books and ink pens or tableware and many other things.

•She would be considered slightly uneducated due to the fact that there isn’t any schooling or education system back on her planet. Her main education comes to her kind, not for things and others around her. It would be difficult to read words on a sign or in a book, calculate with mathematics, have trouble when it comes to self recovery like patching up wounds, etc.

•Collecting and scavenging are very important factors Lyka takes into. Back home she needed to constantly search for anything that could get her food like gold pieces, gem stones, any fine metals, etc. Or actually scavenging for scraps of food in this case. It’s a reason why she likes shiny things mainly gold and silver jewelry, gems, gold coins, etc.

•Even though she LOVES jewelry, she barely has any besides her very own silver earring. Whenever she finds anything that’s worth much she saves it and then sales it or uses it pay for things. So it’s expected if someone has a lot of shiny things on them, Lyka can’t help but stare a little.

[virtuosin]

Touch ( He would be gentle, when tracing the scar on her leg, that painful reminder of their first misadventure together. Though the wound has healed by now, Jericho insists on lavishing it thoroughly when they take baths together )

The nights have long since become a comfort to her. Being able to spoil herself in the company of her beloved Jericho, and in turn spoiling him with her affections and time. Regardless of what she might have busied herself with during the day, when darkness engulfed the sky, she would eagerly await the Grand General in the foyer with open arms and a mirthful grin. He would never again doubt what love is, what a life without human interaction and gentleness could be. In his presence, she could scarcely remember how she managed to exist without his clever wit and sometimes condescending pinches. It’s almost a crime that she ever thought herself content with a life that hadn’t included Jericho Swain. Down in the bowels of the Swain estate, Sona would allow the warm waters to consume her troubles. Aches would naturally form throughout the day, some which spawn from the training she’d partake in with Bali and Jericho, at an unseemly hour that did not suit her. However, she was resolved to bettering herself, in becoming a stronger woman, a more powerful sorceress--a force to be reckoned with should any dare mock her abilities or disrespect her again. A reminder of such a thing comes in the form of Jericho’s talons tracing the scar along her hip, where the flesh of her thigh flows toward her narrow waist. She would watch as her lover brings attention to the wound, curious, and also reminiscent. The option had been hers if she had wanted to heal all those injuries from that day. She opted to seal every wound but that one. Scars can be held with such animosity, but it served as a reminder for the maven; a lesson she may carry with her until the day she leaves this mortal body behind. “We have been through so much since that day,” Sona muses aloud, a smile burning across her upturned lips. Gold-touched eyes still lingering cerulean would observe those darkened talons, admiring them as the water kisses the lower half of their bodies. “We have encountered such strange corners of life...heh, to think this all began because the Grand General was a fan of my music.” With an endearing grip, Sona would lean over and cup the hardened jawline of her beloved, a thumb rubbing alone the dark stubbly shadow along his chin. The smile only grows as she beholds his face, memorizing every distinct crease, scar, and wrinkle. “It was never random, that I am certain of. You are my fate--my soulmate...and I am grateful for everything that I have faced, including the pain of that day.” Leaning forward, a kiss would be pressed against his lips, tender and chaste. “I am not the same woman as I was the night of that concert. I am someone more, and yet you love me all the same. You take me as I am and nurture this metamorphosis which is not yet complete, but-” Still lingering close, Sona would dare another kiss, though her smile turns fondly. “-I am certain of my path, more than I have ever been. I am exactly where I mean to be, loving with a love that is more than love...what a rare thing that is--and I ought to know, I’ve encountered many emotions in my days as the Maven of Strings, and never have I known of something like this. It does not exist but between you and I, Jericho, and I take such pride in that.” Another kiss, and her smile continues to evolve into something more blissful and perhaps a touch playful. Turning, she’d press her bare body against his, chest to chest, as close as their beating hearts can be to touching. “I will cherish you all my days, here, and whatever is beyond. You will never brave the dark alone again, Jericho, for I am there with you.”

[unproduciblesmackdown]

you said random number so.. gimme 5, 17, 24, 26, 38, and 43

#epic thank you!!!! sorry this is so long, gang, but you know me. press J if you have that keyboard shortcut option

5)favorite fics?

soph nothingunrealistic’s!! click the link & peruse any of the dozen gifts to this world on ao3. also just go right to her writing tag

17)a fandom you wish more people were in/you had more people to talk to about?

well i don’t Really have an answer for this one, but just yesterday it was once again time to talk abt how jaclyn moriarty’s 4-book ashbury/brookfield YA series is a lot of fun and unusual in good ways, but like, i guess what with being published throughout the aughts and like, not being super obscure but also not being explosively popular, and idk maybe they were also more Known in australia than the US, and, idk, but there’s not exactly what you’d call a Fandom online, or even very many traces of one. and i just like to mention the series as Fun To Read because they are very lively and focus on girls and have a real variety of Girl Characters (and also some boy characters who are also varied and fun but that’s just a bonus) and in particular i like to talk about how the third book has a really Unusual Choice Of Protagonist (the unfun unpopular Best Grades by-the-book overachiever etc etc etc nerd girl, kinda having the personality that ppl misinterpret alana beck’s personality to be lol, like something of a killjoy goody-two-shoes lol, but also with that earnestness and drivenness that alana has as well)......and the format of each book is Epistolary, but in different and creative ways each time, and it’s fun how like, the characters who are telling the story (the ones whose letters are used and etc) rotate with each book [tho emily and lydia are Storytellers in the 2nd And 4th books] and it’s very neat how like, you do get that sense that just b/c someone’s not being Focused On as much from different people’s perspectives doesn’t mean they aren’t still existing and present and doing stuff and having their own story, even when that’s not being mentioned by whoever’s writing down the events that we’re reading. we love that sentiment. anyways i just like to always Promote them.

24)who are you at the end of this decade?

hmmm!! i mean in many ways i am who i have been the whole time but yknow, 2009 - 2019 was a tumultuous period. i was always furiously trying to think through Who Am I As A Person for various reasons, even though like, when you’re in ur mid-teens that’s always In Progress rather than there being a really set answer to be discovered, and for a while it was a lot of frustration with myself all “why are you like [this], why can’t you do [that] right,” etc etc. but eventually i had like, a better frame of reference for a lot of what was going on, and even why i never quite felt like i had a great sense of Who I Am and What I Like and etc in the first place, and more understanding and respect for myself lol. even now it’s like, yknow i’m ~self-consious~ in ways often lol and i’ll sometimes Use that to be like, okay try to improve [this thing] about yourself!! and yknow on the one hand i feel like stuff i’ve been Working On for years Has paid off in ways, but then recently it’s like......okay hang on but like, it’s not a bad thing to like, have some traits that maybe aren’t gonna be seen as “perfect” or might be annoying or yknow, your Demeanor and Vibe isn’t always like, the most important thing to focus on lol or something where like, oh being sweet & saintly & coming across as utterly pleasant to everyone always gets to be The Objective Ideal. like, i’m opinionated and can be argumentative and sometimes impatient?? like, there’s a balance here between “good to be trying to Improve Yourself always or whatever lol” and “but also everyone is People with Traits and Different Personalities and everyone doesn’t have to just sand themselves down into an edgeless smooth sphere” and like, sure it’s like “haha i’m a bit more temperamental than i’d like still” but also i sure sympathize w/ the fact that like, oof, depression makes it tricky sometimes! and i do pretty okay at like, being Aware of when my mood is cursed and trying to be as chill about it as poss! or like, “haha wish i was better at conversation lmao” but yknow also understanding that like.....i’m just kinda Not great at it and that’s what’s Natural for me and like, again, a balance between “trying to be easier to talk to, lol” and “being okay with the fact that i’m not super easy to talk to and most ppl aren’t very easy for me to talk to either, lol”

im trying to be a bit less cagey lol which i guess might not be the first word someone might use to describe me for a variety of reasons, But......and but then also, i just like, for me there is no simple Be Yourself, Just Talk Naturally As U Would conversation mode lol, but you know. it’s hardly a pressing issue, and at the same time, like, sometimes when i find it hard to talk to people it’s like “well this is just you needing to Be Nicer” or whatever, or like, well you’re just not used talking to Anyone so like, push through it, and then it takes me a while to realize like, well no you just don’t love talking to them, lmao......and at the same time i’m Really slow to realize when people *do* actually enjoy talking to me, lmao, i am just not used to it And used to people like, not really being super interested in interacting with me even if they think i’m alright lol. lord! so i’m still slightly surprised whenever Anyone likes me, but also like, then again there’s sort of always these repeated scenarios where it’s like [Glum Trombone Noise] i’m also the recipient of various ppl’s various contempt for various reasons........which like, i sure don’t Absorb that as like “way 2 go, you deserve that” but also like, sure also never is the most fun experience of your life. but i have a way more solid sense of the fact that like, i don’t inherently deserve that, and an understanding of Why people will be Like That sometimes, and that’s all been acquired knowledge from the whole journey of this decade lol

also like, i have always been and continue to be like, Basically A Cat lol.....cats-sonas for everyone, ___ the ___ cat, But Seriously Folks........like, oh, there’s a lot of ppl and/or noise around?? unless i have chosen to put myself in that situation for fun, i’m probably gonna be finding whatever quiet / distant corner to hide out in and try to remain as undetected as possible.......kinda wary about interacting with people sometimes, though then also, i like to be friendly w/ strangers (if they’re friendly with me) and won’t necessarily mind spontaneous interactions but only if it’s Plausibly Expected in the situation, and even then, i might just prefer that Nobody Talk To Me......and i’ve yet to be Really comfortable in a group of ppl if i’m there *with* that group lmao, like, i don’t like to take the lead or compete for attention or anything and just kinda will try to do my own thing on the outskirts, whereas if i’m by myself it’s just like, i feel a lot more comfortable and like i can just do whatever lmao..........and also i don’t like to make noise lol. unless again, it’s deliberate, and it’s Fun. like at a concert? i will be the death of whatever nerd like, wants it to be like a solemn “listening to a record” occasion or wants everyone to yell out complete sentences if a performer asks an Arena full of people How Are You Doing 2nite or whatever. i’m gonna yell!!! anyways. idk. i am always like “oh i am Very Much [this way], except for all the times i am totally [the would-be Opposite way]”........i can’t really opt out of having Anxious Qualities and that’s alright, even though it does get in the way of things sometimes for sure. like, c’est la vie!!! i understand why i am like this, and that like, while for my own sake i can try to hold my own hand here and encourage myself to be a little bolder, it’s totally fine that like, i have Problems and Difficulties. 

i’m also at like, maybe the lowest levels of Impending Dread that i’ve had since i was like, 8 or some shit lmao............like again kind of a Wild Decade and one where like, it was totally all like “wow am i even gonna make it to [a few yrs in the future] -> [a year in the future] -> [half a year from now]” aaand it hasn’t been a full year yet since i was last thinking like “lmfao oof i might not be alive by __, who knows!!” but even while that was going on it was at least an improvement from the times i thought i might like, hmm hope i don’t off myself. and like, this is probably the first Start Of A Year in like. well possibly the past decade lmao, where yknow, it hasn’t felt quite as dire. i mean im not really out here a cockeyed optimist about anything, and like, i’m aware that things are always a little tenuous and there’s other factors i’m always nervous about, but That’s nothing new, and i’m kinda more like, neutral about the future rn lol? feeling less Dread and Doom is new-ish lmao and like, allowing that yknow, despite how crappy the past decade has been re: how i felt in my Outlook, there’s been a bunch of surprising Good Things to come along, and i totally allow for the fact that that could easily continue to happen. having Less(ened) Bad Feelings about Things might not = Absolutely Thriving but i appreciate it!! i also try to be appreciative lmao. like, what with the dread and doom & (hope i don’t die this year, i guess,) feelings, it’s wildly hard nowadays for me to like, anticipate stuff in a ~fun~ way or at all, but yknow when anything nice, even a really small / unspectacular / ordinary moment and/or detail, is being experienced by me, i try to enjoy that. i like to be Appreciative. and i think i’m also sort of like, sharing more of myself than i’ve probably gotten to or felt capable of doing in the past, and i appreciate that a lot too. like, it can be really Depressing for sure to think of like, hmm i haven’t had the chance to like, feel in control of things and like things are Totally Fine and i feel Totally Okay & like i’m enjoying everything, and i can choose to pursue [things i might enjoy], and maybe i Won’t have that chance? [another glum trombone noise] but like. i appreciate the good experiences that i Do and Have gotten so far. and the fact i’ve ever been in situations to connect with people and enjoy things the ways that i can and like, it’s really nice that My Presence in other ppl’s lives, even as just like Some Online Rando re: some ppl lmao, has had some positive effect for them or even just been enjoyed is like, wow, this is pretty great lol.........not sure where i was taking this tangent but like, i am someone who appreciates this a lot.

hmm i am also a passionate person at the end of this decade lmao!!!! that has definitely always been true. i am Of That Temperament. it is funny b/c like, the fact that i am A Motormouth Actually But Often Not Saying Anything In The Least To People, they think i’m like, of this very mild disposition and Not someone with strong opinions that they will launch into, or else i would have been doing that already........but you know!!! here i am online, fully able to just dive into things and start talking about whatever for one million years. and i sure latch onto stuff in a Big Way sometimes, which is why anyone follows me at all lol, b/c if you like [whatever particular content] and i am just all about that too, it’s a beneficial situation for us both i guess lmao. i can get really excited and focused about stuff, obviously, and i sure Also Obviously like to explore the emotional aspects of things. which is a vague thing to say lmfao but you all know what i mean!!! it continues to be the only reason i draw lmaooo like i draw so much and like, Making Fanart And Sharing It Online has i think also been a journey of this decade for me, and i really only draw a) exactly that fanart that i feel like making, and b) what i feel like making is always also probably abt Feelings somehow, like the Three Emotions: kissing (aka gay), crying (sad), and angry (angry)........great news if you want to see the stuff i already happen to be drawing lol!!! bad news i guess if you were hoping i’d draw anything but whatever i end up wanting to draw. i cannot be diverted. and i don’t even draw for its own sake lol like, i’ve always doodled for fun and all that, but like, ive never been a “wow i want to make my own __ someday” or whatever, and if i’m trying to draw something which is anything other than [the exact thing i might feel like drawing] it is Such a chore that like, i just don’t do it except for like, total Exceptions. except exceptions lol. don’t ask!! anyways why did i get on that drawing tangent there........yeah it’s definitely lucky that i’ve been giving myself that Drawing Experience so that i can connect w/ ppl that way, cuz i’m godawful at like, necessarily providing other stuff lol Or at being the one to Make Connections Happen otherwise......and also of course sometimes it is easier to convey/communicate something via drawing. woohoo!!

anyways yeah i’m a bit excitable lol and i sure guess i’ve got that Chaotique energy at times, for better or worse lol........like sometimes my Contribution can be like, just an absolute wild card thrown into the pile, or just like, maybe adding some Boost to a situation that other people can run with if they so choose. just throw things out there sometimes and enjoy when other ppl find that fun lmao

what else is there about me??? lol.......oh yeah i’m always sort of an Office Goofaround (not actually in an office ever, though). like, when ppl Don’t have that sense of Collaborative Humor where like, if someone does something a bit silly u just roll with that bit, or if god forbid they have Exhausting Cishet Guy humor where they think everything is about Dry, “Intelligent” Sarcasm and that being “funny” is about making yourself look like the coolest or cleverest person there who Wins the Center Of Attention spot?? it’s like, eff that, where are my Get Silly gang. also puns are funny but also only b/c they are silly. you have to really lean into it lol. 

well anyways!!!! and when i am asked to talk about myself i can be very extensive and yet not necessarily cover everything. here we are

26)favorite look you had?

my look hasn’t changed too much! Tees n Jeans (or shorts? or jorts? lol) are pretty much my thing altho you Know i have at times added in A Layer, or even accessories.......as always, part of the first few years of the decade for me was the whole “aha, yeah okay i’m trans” process, but before that i wasn’t ever really trying to be more “””””””””fashionable”””””””””” than the tees n jeans type of look anyway lmao, and even nowadays like, i have some Wardrobe Items that like, ppl might consider ”androgynous” or whatever when cis dudes wear them, like leggings or a v-neck sweater........really some of the only significant Changes was getting binder/s eventually (by 2012?? ugh idk) and also like, by 2011 i cut my hair relatively short, and from there on i just like, every year went “ugh god i need it to be shorter” and even now i’m like, hmm, do i want it shorter or is this fine?? but also i’m somewhat limited styling-wise b/c i just continually cut it myself in a bathroom mirror, true chaotic. and! i’ve been like, god i wish i had a baseball cap that’s just like, solid [my fave blue] or yknow, black or something, or idk. one that i like. and also someday it would be nice to like, not only have an updated prescription of lenses but also Multiple Glasses Frames to choose from, even though my current ones are alright still lol.......this is me just talking abt my past looks and how i’d like to potentially update my look lmao i did Not answer the question but, as usual, i also don’t have a great direct answer lol

38)a prediction you had for this decade that came true?

lol this was not a decade where i was ever looking ahead to 2020 and making any assumptions about this Block Of Time as a whole.......i mean like, i was Really starting to suspect byyyy 2012 for sure that like, i could not like, be able to exist And have my parents be in my life at all lol and by 2013 it was just like. increasing confirmation of that. and i last saw / spoke to them prior to me just effing out of there at the end of 2015. snaps for me

43)an important relationship (of any kind) you had?

well a couple i appreciated that might not be obvious were pretty brief and fairly impersonal lol. so in 2015 i had this Nightmare Job for five whole months which was obviously miserable in most ways, but there was this other guy who wasn’t even a Coworker, we just had the same job and had similar routes of Stores to go to, so we would run into each other a lot of mornings, and he would talk to me and i’d talk to him and he was totally good-humored about everything and that was helpful lmao b/c it’s great to have Someone you enjoy seeing. i also struck up a rapport with a baked-goods stocker at one particular store, and that could be an enjoyable 14 seconds. it was a godawful job lmao and like, Any pleasantness at all / decent treatment from other people was very helpful

also at this other job the next year which was a lot less hellish, there was this customer lady who like, i can’t remember at what point she started talking to me but yknow it got to be that if we’d run into each other she’d kind of update me on her life. and she would be like “sorry i’m talking to you, a stranger, about all this stuff all the time, but my life is a mess and i don’t really have anyone to talk to” and i would be like, lmfao mood, do not even worry about it, and yknow this was someone i only ran into usually once every few weeks at my job, and could only listen to for however long, but she was Going Tf Through It all the time and as much as i am a chatterbox who will go on for a century about myself b/c i can’t be concise abt anything ever, i’m also decent at being in Listening Mode lmao or yknow, i was like No Truly i don’t mind you venting, and also yknow, i’m like well i know how much it sucks to have Nobody to talk to about Big Problems. and i am this random restaurant worker and if i’m one of the only people this lady can talk to, you can bet i’m going to listen lol.......and she was really goin through it all One Thing After Another and yknow i’d catch her two weeks later and she’d be all like, well [this situation] has gotten worse, or This One Problem is over but now New Problem has replaced it, etc, and a whole issue that i got updated on was like lol. she had this boyfriend who she’d kinda mention early on when she was talking abt trying to find a job, or losing a new-but-terrible job and once again being back in that Job Hunt Stress, and idk like. i just sort of have decent Relationship Instincts lmfao of like “hmm this doesn’t sound great” but like, a month or two later she’s straightup Married to this dude, and i’m like oh congrats :) and then when a month or two after That she’s talking about how like, she’s maybe having Job Probs again and her now-husband is really giving her shit for like, not having found a new one yet, i’m like internally all [ :)))))) Not Surprised :))))))) ] but i’m like. yknow you Sympathize n Validate but if you just up and tell someone who’s being treated real bad like “you are being treated terribly, this person is acting terribly” then they might just want to defend them like oh it’s not That bad, or minimize it, and blame themselves for making their terrible partner “look bad”.......and by extension when she once was in our restaurant With said husband and introduced us i was like, just getting further confirmation abt this dude’s shittiness from his Immediate Vibe lmao like....whenever i feel uncomfortable enough in someone’s presence in a [not just universal level of Anxiety] way, it’s like, that instinct is pretty reliable & accurate lol.....but i had to pretend Not to hate him or act too standoffish towards him lmao cuz like!!! i figured i could “get away with it” but yknow, this lady had already said how isolated she was and the husband sure seemed Controlling and like, yknow, if you act like you don’t Like the shitty partner or said shitty partner catches wind of you maybe telling this person that “hey your partner is being shitty” then it’s all, them telling their partner “don’t go around that person who is so obviously Against me >:(” and like. yknow i figured as Random Restaurant Employee this dude wasn’t about to be super on guard about me but i still was not wanting to risk it but luckily i only met him the one time and only had to casually pretend i didn’t think he was shit that one time. and anyhow! soon enough the lady is talking to me about how she thinks getting married to him was a mistake but like, again, she was real isolated and didnt have family or friends or ppl in the area to talk to, and like, yknow she would be pretty sure her husband was cheating on her but of course He was the one all like, wanting to be controlling and invade her privacy and accuse Her of cheating on him, and i’m like, internally screaming but again yknow, i’m just letting her vent to Anyone (me) and sympathizing. and iirc her talking about her “uh oh my husband sucks” was like, i had come back from this delivery so we were in the parking lot lol and she was so upset about all of it and like, “sorry i’m just this random person talking to you for twenty minutes in a parking lot and crying lol” and i’m like. i mean yknow if the only person you can vent to about this terrible situation is me, this random person in a parking lot, absolutely i am glad to do it, even though i would’ve done it anyways lol...........and i was so mad at our General Manager this one time lmao b/c. yknow it’s a couple weeks later and wouldn’t you know it, The Lady is really stressed b/c her husband was yelling at her and broke a window in their apartment, and the Cost Of Repairs added to their monthly rent meant they might not be able to make that rent, and she was in that crappy situation that gets pulled on Tenants Who Probably Don’t Have Much Money, where you’re supposed to get 5 Days Notice or whatever when they’re like “get out b/c your rent is overdue” but you get that Notice on like, friday afternoon when your Last Day is supposed to be the following monday, and nobody is at the office all weekend, so obviously that’s not five days and it’s really only One Day and that Last Day that you’d even have a chance to talk to anyone, which is also a monday when you’d probably have work, and yknow, good luck finding help over the weekend, when probably ppl will just want to spend that time rushing to just pack their shit up and leave anyways.....ANYHOW it’s just some particular heinous bullshit and it was like, the saturday after it had happened to her, and i sympathized entirely b/c that had happened to me and i now lived in my car but i figured i wouldn’t bring that up lmfao.......and anyways i was sitting down with her to listen to her b/c it’s an Insanely Stressful Situation and again like, whenever she’d show up i’d let her talk to me abt her Problems for however long she felt like. and anyways of course eventually the one By-The-Books manager gives me shit all like “what are you doing daring to Sit Down and Not be doing restaurantly actions, ugh” and i’m like. i mean, unsurprising lecture to get lol, of course, but i was just so impatient like. well this person was having a crisis so i prioritized that above keeping the coffee stirrers fully stocked at all times, bite me. ENNYHOW and i didn’t see her for a minute after that and i Was a bit worried b/c like. of course i had every reason to be and she was just always looking so completely exhausted but then like, actually the last time i saw her she was actually more upbeat than ever b/c like! turns out that during an argument her husband had assaulted her and had been arrested. which is of course like. i was like oh i am completely sorry about that trauma but congratulations at this person being separated from you!!! and like, i wish i could have kept up with her beyond that, but i couldn’t, but like, that was the first Improvement in her life that i’d heard since i met her, and it was a way better last-thing-to-hear-from-her than her stressing out abt eviction thanks to her abusive husband breaking shit. and like, weird relationship lmao but!! idk i did feel lucky that i could be The One Person This Lady Gets To Talk With b/c like, god forbid she have absolutely nobody to talk to about this shit or treat her with any sympathy, even if it was just me, the rando she only got to see on occasion. and i hope she’s doing okay still! wish i knew for sure of course, but i’m glad i at least got to be there for her in a tiny way for a period of time and did eventually like, Know that she both knew that this was a bad person to be with, and got that Reason to be separated from him.

[princepestilence]

The Cuphead ripoff scandal; or the artistic costs of imitation.

Okay, so since it’s been on my mind all week, I want to talk about the whole Enchanted Portals situation and you’re all going to have to suffer through that, you’re welcome. 

Basically, if you don’t know, it’s a Cuphead... fanwork, I think is the best way to say it. It’s what happens when two people loved Cuphead so much they decided to make a game about it. Specifically, they wanted to make Cuphead about it: everything from the 30s cartoon-inspired art style, jazz soundtrack, level design, game-play, and several bosses are direct and undeniable imitations of Cuphead.

Which frankly is itself interesting, for lack of a better word, because that’s a lot of work to make the closest thing possible to an existing IP without crossing legal lines and both creators have openly cited Cuphead as inspiration. (Unsurprisingly, no other games, though, to the best of my knowledge). I can recognise the work put in, because it takes some amount of skill and definitely a lot of time to make any game. 

But--because of course that was coming--I don’t think effort alone is worthy of success or praise in the absence of independent artistic vision. Just because something is hard to do doesn’t mean it justifies being done, and I think this game is a great representation of why nigh-plagiaristic imitation weakens a work. For one thing, when you imitate--especially so closely--another work, you put yourself in direct competition and comparison with that original, which in EP’s case is such a poor choice: the art, music, design, and overall flair is not anywhere near the level of polished, cohesive, or original as Cuphead, which will be reflected in critical reception. 

For another thing, it is a waste of talent that could actually be strengthened by original thought. As I said, these people clearly have some skill and the capability of making a Cuphead-like game, and the greatest failure here is one of imagination in my opinion: if they had leaned into their own art style, instead of an imitation of Cuphead imitating the 1930s tradition, I think this game would be 1. entirely clear of plagiarism and 2. a better game with its own unique and memorable design. 

Likewise, if they had chosen inspiration from another time-period for their soundtrack, they could have used this opportunity to showcase their original content and ability to compose interesting and, frankly, more fitting music given the “magic” setting, instead of simply being a worse version of Cuphead. Jazz is not the only frenetic, upbeat, frequently improvisational music style suitable for a bullet-hell type shooter--but it is the one that was at its height in the 1920s and is considered representational of the 20s-30s era, the same time-period from which Cuphead draws its visual aesthetic. These elements work together to create a cohesive whole, which is a key part of Cuphead’s overall concept. 

EP lacks this vision. It’s transparently clear that each element of design was chosen not to improve the overall work, or help it stand apart from all others, or to further an artistic goal, but purely to be similar to Cuphead, without any real understanding of why Cuphead itself has those features in the first place. Cuphead was first imagined as a game concept in 2000, then later began work in earnest from 2010 onward. A huge amount of consideration went into the creation of the work over its developmental lifetime, which is why the quality is as high as it is. 

By contrast: if we’re generous, the team behind EP spent the last two years learning how to imitate Cuphead. Not how to design their own game in the style of Cuphead. They have set out specifically to make a less polished, less considered version of Cuphead, and in that they have succeeded. But I personally don’t think that endeavour should be lauded or encouraged, because it is still a blatant ripoff. In our current media landscape, I personally feel that we should be asking for more from creators artistically, not simply asking for more of the same--especially considering the drop off in ripoff quality.

Ripoffs will always occur whenever anything garners enough attention and success and often the hallmark of ripoffs is laziness: poor quality animation, simplistic level design, and other instances where it’s clear that everything was done to the bare minimum just to get it out the door. While I’m not claiming the development of EP is lazy in execution--i.e., the art isn’t stolen, the animation is done by the team--I do feel that there is more than one way to be lazy when creating a ripoff. An absence of creative individuality in favour of imitation is itself laziness.

It’s hard for me to exactly pinpoint the core issue I have with EP’s development, the one underpinning these other issues re: creative integrity. It’s not lazy the way many ripoffs are, although laziness is evident in the goal of the project itself. However, I don’t have a problem with Pokemon ROM hacks and “original” games of that vein, and I don’t consider those to be lazy, which is where this whole situation gets hazy to figure out. I also feel that fanfiction or -sona style OC design is a legitimate and very acceptable way to engage with media you love, and some amazing creativity does stem from that space--including works that, with a little tinkering, eventually become original works in their own right.  

I’ve thought about it for a bit this week and I think the crucial difference between EP and fanfiction, and EP and ROM hack, is that EP is being presented as kickstarter: it is a purchasable game, not a homage or fanwork, such as a ROM hack or fanfiction. There is a clear attempt to make money from shallow, unimaginative imitation of one of the most creatively designed and financially risky games in the current market, and frankly I hate that. 

While EP claims to be doing this project out of love, I think the fundamental misunderstanding of what makes Cuphead as unique and interesting and successful as it is is something of an insult to StudioMDHR and the years of work they put into making the game. My personal feeling is that the backlash EP is receiving is entirely deserved and will hopefully encourage other game creators to resist the urge to blatantly plagiarise in favour of developing their own style and originality with the skills they have. 

tl;dr: Cuphead is a highly successful game/piece of art that imitates 1920s-30s music and art scene, specifically jazz and rubber hose animation that blossomed in that era. This game is a representation of how to do imitation and homage well without sacrificing your own personal artistic vision and flair. 

Enchanted Portals is a fanwork that imitates the superficial characteristics of Cuphead well, but fails to have any integrity or true originality in its design, because it isn’t trying to be a new creation: it is trying to be Cuphead, and in that attempt it utterly fails. This game is a representation of how to attempt to ride the coattails of a more skillfully and thoughtfully made game, under the guise of homage. 

[shadowtarot]

(THieves in Inaba.) Are they still in their swimwear??? If so... I'd like for the boys to lure in Kashiwagi and ask for her to let them in. It's a bit of revenge for the girls XD (Kashiwagi was present in P3P and in P4 so a Cognition of her should exist as the dungeon is using their memories)

Thieves in Inaba Part 60

With the forest now a mesh of the Arc and the hollow woods, Joker goes over his plan with the others. 

“Okay so Shido’s Palace we needed to get key cards to get to the heart of the palace, right? Well with this place being made up of entirely our thoughts, this would mean we’d need to overcome this the same way.” Ren smirks, brushing some of his frizzy hair out of his face.

“Okay, that’s neat and all but what does this have to do with all of us being in swimsuits?” Yosuke asks, hand placed on his hip.

“Everything.” Ryuji smirks. “One of the guys we needed to grab a letter from was a total perv. We had Ann and the other girls put on swimsuits and talk to him. Got him off guard and everything. And to top it off? It was my plan.” He sounds so proud of himself as he talks.

“Yes, but we still had to fight him in the end….” Morgana sighs.

“So…you’re saying there’s going be a guy on the other side of these trees and we have to…seduce him?” Yukiko asks, before bursting out laughing. “I’m just…imagining Chie and I trying to do that and it’s just….ahahaha!”

Chie sighs, placing a hand on her head and shaking. “Give her a minute. But I’m so not down for this! What if he follows one of us out of this place? What then?” 

“It won’t be a real person, merely just a cognition.” Akechi explains, looking over at a now calmed down Yukiko before continuing. “Think of doing this as solely being a puzzle. Complete it and move on, there’s no need to get worked up about it.” 

Yusuke seemingly isn’t even paying attention to the conversation however, instead he’s more focused on Akihiko and Kanji. He has his fingers done in his typical picture frame work as he nods to himself. “It is a shame I left my sketch book at the hotel, so many of these experiences could make for wonderful pieces…”

Kanji crosses his arms in annoyance. “Well I sure hope you aren’t implyin’ I’m one of those ‘Experiences’.”

“Well one of should at least scout and see who we’re dealing with,” Ken suggests, hand in his pocket. “If we go in blindly it might not end well.” 

“Well who’d be the most willing to take a risk at being spotted?” Makoto looks among the group. 

Mishima sighs “I can go check, I need to contribute more to this team after all.” He walks around the corner and comes back fairly quickly.

“Well?” Yu asks, concerned as to why he came back so fast.

“It…it’s a woman!”

Ren and Ryuji look confused, the others all turning to them as to see if they have a new plan. 

“Yeah, it was a woman, with a black one piece swimsuit…and-” But as Mishima goes to describe her…Minato, Junpei and Akihiko’s faces go pale.

They know who’s around the corner.

“Yo, those three don’t look so good all of a sudden. What’s up?” Ryuji asks, leaning closer to them. 

Minato clears his throat. “Was she…well endowed?”

“I don’t know how relevant this question is but….yes.”

Akihiko sighs, shaking his head. “If this place is pulling from all of our memories, then some of ours must be in this mix as well. Back during our journey, we went to the beach…and Junpei suggested we go on a ‘Babe Hunt’.”

“Yeah..and one of the women we chose to flirt with was an older lady…she seemed pretty into it…like creeply into it…” Junpei lowers his head.

“H-Hold on…you didn’t…happen to get her name did you?” Yosuke starts to have a bad feeling himself. “Damnit! I-I have to check!”

He pokes his head around the corner, and comes back even faster then Mishima did. 

“Uh huh, I was right. It’s Kashiwagi.” Yosuke sounds defeated as he talks.

“You can’t be serious…” Yu sounds tired. “We’ll have to get past her..”

Chie laughs. “Hey Akechi did say it’s only a cognition thing, so don’t get cold feet boys! Ohhh I am so getting front row seats to this.”

Ann laughs as she starts to shove Ryuji, Ren, Yosuke and Akechi. “You four go as well~”

Yukari playfully winks. “You three might actually succeed this time. Good luuck~”

Ken starts to object. “Hey! Why am I being roped into this too?! I was too young to have been apart of it before!”

Teddie starts to slowly sneak away, only for Naoto to grab him by the hand.

“Morgana, Koromaru and Adachi each have an excuse, but you don’t. The better the numbers, the greater the chance of success. Go help.” 

Teddie lowers his head. “Why must I be cursed with good looks?”

Persona Training Center, TV World

Ai finally wakes up, her eyes fluttering open only to meet Kou’s again. She realizes she had fallen asleep on his shoulder and jolts up.

“Ah! I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

Kou shakes his head, smiling. “It’s alright, you were tired from all of that excitement. No one would blame you.”

Ai smiles a bit, nodding slowly. “Thanks then…so, where did they go? It’s awfully quiet in here…” 

“They headed out to save the next victim, apparently.” Daisuke says, walking out from the restroom. 

“So…they really are out saving people. But those…freakish monsters! How are they dealing with them all?” The Moon holder looks to the floor. “They took so many people, and they’re just putting themselves in danger…”

“Well, I think it’s because of those powers they have.” Kou looks to the ceiling. “Persona..I think it’s called. All of them have it, and it makes fighting those freaks easy.”

“Per..sona? Sounds like some dumb fantasy mubo jumbo…” The curly haired girl shakes her head. “But all of them you say? That means…even Chie?” 

Kou and Daisuke both nod, and Ai seems a bit more hurt by that response. 

“Just another thing I have to compete with…if at all…” She mutters under her breath. 

Kou then sighs. “But yeah, who’d think that this is the big secret Yu and his pals were hiding this whole time. The whole group is out of our league…”

Hearing him say that, Ai has a bit more hope. She nods a bit, which Daisuke notices but says nothing to acknowledge it. 

“So you’re giving up on what you said before, man?” Daisuke asks casually. 

“Possibly..right now, I don’t know if I can compete with this kind of secret life…” The blue haired young man shakes his head. “No, I don’t think I can at all.”

“Well, there’s always more people out there for you.” Ai says quietly. If Kou heard or not, she’s unaware. 

Back in The Hollow Forest

The girls are having trouble trying to get the guys to go over to cognitive Kashiwagi. 

“Come on, don’t be such a baby! It’s basically a shadow!” Chie yells, trying her best to shove Yosuke. 

“I don’t care what the hell it is! I’m not dealing with this!” He barks back. 

“This is revenge for that swimsuit contest! Now you can see how we felt!” Yukiko states, trying to push Yu.

“Wasn’t the cross-dressing contest enough of a punishment? This is a straight up death sentence!” Yu responds.

Ryuji looks to Morgana for any form of assistance, but he’s greeted only by a shit eating grin. 

“Damnit Mona! This would be a good time to help us!” He pleads.

“Help? Last I checked, you had a second reason for that plan in the Palace in motion, so seeing this go through is good enough punishment.” The cat laughs.

The guys all sigh, seems they’re not getting out of this whatsoever.

[salavante]

Odwain! The goodest.

Wow, featuring one of the more flattering drawings I’ve done of Odwain. Like last time, I’ll post all these guys separately and then do all the headshots in a masterpost. In the meantime buckle up for...a lot. (Thank you for giving me my favorite character.) 

Full Name: Odwain Novak. In Ben Yit’gab, the Bennai language, his first name would be Oediwen, and it’s what his dad called him. His mother calls him Oddy and he does not like it.

Gender and Sexuality: Male and Bisexual

Pronouns: He/him

Ethnicity/Species: Odwain is a Ben-Aleth, a Human-Bennai hybrid, also called a mosshead if you’re in coarse company. His human mother Blanche Novak is mixed race. Odwain’s maternal grandfather came directly from Earth, Poland specifically, during one of the several accidental migrations of humans coming from Earth to The Road. His maternal grandmother is from a previous wave who were already settled on The Road by that time, but the family can trace her ancestry back to West Africa. Odwain’s father, Ashatov Novak, was a full-blooded Bennai, a plant-based halfling race. Ashatov took his wife’s last name.

Birthplace and Birthdate: Thinking about this trips me out man. Odwain was born in 1946, sometime in the summer, probably July or August, in Septor Secundis, a coastal, metropolitan city and the seat of The Road’s government. He’s 27 during his first adventure and right now, in Godslaughter, he is 69 (what the FUCK). He will live maybe 20 or 30 years longer than your average human, and is in better physical shape than a human would be at 69. He’s more like late 40’s or early 50’s.  

Guilty Pleasures: A lot, probably - Odwain has just a bit of hedonistic streak just because he feels miserable so much of the time that he needs to feel good somehow. He smokes cigarettes for much of his life (but eventually quits), is a casual cannabis smoker and binge eats really truly terrible junk food (and has a bit of a gut because of it, but because he’s kind of lanky otherwise, he’s just kind of gourd-shaped). He likes beer, but doesn’t drink hard liqour all that often because he gets astronomically bad hangovers. Despite having a generally weak stomach, Odwain really likes frightfully spicy food, and his kids’ obligatory dad-gifts for him are probably hot sauces. When he’s not pounding down garbage, his favorite kind of cuisine is Thai. Not a guilty pleasure per say, but he also loves all things that have to do with insects, and when he and Rusty have a house together, Odwain takes up gardening as a hobby and plants an expansive garden of flora that are attractive to bees. (A Nice Thing: Odwain plants this garden when Rusty is pregnant because he found his love of insects through his father’s garden as a child, and wanted to give his kids the same opportunity) Odwain also maintains an apiary from the time that he’s living in a warehouse in the desert, to when he’s living with a partner and beyond. When he learns how to make Hot Honey it’s over for all of us. He has a modest collection of novelty bee-themed things that he’s amassed over the years, but he is not guilty about asserting his love of bees/wasps, like, at all. He’s also a little kinky but I’m not going into that.

Phobias: All of Odwain’s fears are existential - what if I push everyone away, existing in society is anxiety inducing, what if I’m just a bad person and my existence is making everything more difficult for functional people, etc. Though he’s kind of a sad fellow and has ideated suicide, and came very, VERY close to trying to kill himself after he dropped out of college, he also fears growing old and dying. I think death is more digestible to him if it’s on his own terms, but even then, I think what coaxed him off the edge was fear. If anything ever happened to his chosen romantic partner or any of his kids, he’d be besides himself, and is kind of one severe trauma and emotional breakdown away from becoming a bee-themed supervillian.

What They Would Be Famous For: Odwain is notable at a certain point in his career for being a pioneer in AI programming, and also for designing, building and patenting an invention called the Hercules Rig, which is basically a beetle-wing inspired jetpack. You can see it here. He holds the patent very closely and only allows it to be reproduced for recreation, construction, emergency rescue operations, etc. Odwain has taken a very firm stance on not allowing the military or any paramilitary organization to get their hands on it, though it has not stopped them from making shitty knock-offs that he is constantly suing people about.

What They Would Get Arrested For: Breaking and entering. Exploding something he shouldn’t. Buying illegal hazardous materials. Doing something petty that bites him in the ass.

OC You Ship Them With: To be honest there are not a lot of other characters besides Rusty that I ship him with. Bitter college rivals, thrown back together as late twenty-somethings, becoming better people together and learning to express empathy and vulnerability…it’s good. The only other character that I really go yeah, that’s the good stuff, is Jake’s character Finnick, who is kind of Odwain’s weird BFF and fellow mad scientist type. I don’t think they’d have a super stable relationship, and I think it would most likely be a “we yelled at each other and had weird sex enough that we like each other now” kind of scenario. But I do think they would come to love each other and have each other’s back to the death. Him and Hemlock, my dirty swamp witch who’s only picture was devoured during the great tumblr purge, also make a pretty fun couple for similar reasons. Iona too, but I think they are too explosive of personalities to ever find a stable middle ground. I also think he would find certain people attractive (August, Hare, Ganzrig, Ifechi the man I have spoken of but once, Jonquil in certain scenarios) but may not put himself out there to pursue them.

Neither of us have ever posted any art of her but here’s a few headshots of Finnick I did awhile ago, because she really is my favorite romantic partner for Odwain aside from Rusty, and is the only other one that’s really relevant in our games. 

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Odwain is fairly physically fragile and to be honest I think that most people could kill him as long as they could get their hands on him - he’s very dexterous and has a lot of gadgets that let him get the upper hand, keep enemies at a distance or escape. He has a ranged fighting/add-spawn build so he is mostly out of direct harm unless he’s reeled in somehow. But uh, Odwain IS dead right now in Godslaughter, he died fighting an eldritch deity named Dreamer who sucked him into a nightmare dimension and flayed his soul out of his body. It’s ok though, as long as the party beats Dio, he’ll be fine. I didn’t cry you’re the one who’s crying.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Ok, so, first off HAHA Odwain canonically likes Transformers and collects them, which are a thing in circulation after the last human migration from earth in the 90’s. Imagine. Imagine your grown ass father with a genius level IQ and multiple patents collecting plastic robots. Him and Finnick have transformers sonas - ANYWAY, that aside, he doesn’t really read for pleasure, just information, and generally just puts on cable while he works for white noise (and in later years, whatever The Road’s TV streaming service is). Most of the media he consumes is incidental to him, but will get interested in strange things that pique his interest. He probably thinks true crime docs are neat and enjoys pulpy sci-fi stuff that he can complain about. Any documentary about bugs. He’d like Mystery Science Theatre if they had it around. He enjoys things that are the fun, good kind of “bad” and has a fairly high threshold for  disturbing imagery.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Odwain is that guy who makes 20 minute long youtube videos lampooning movies for “not making sense”. If there’s anything that breaks his suspension of disbelief, his attention and tolerance disintegrates, even if it’s just one of those things that needs to happen to move the plot along. It doesn’t really matter what genre it is, though he is most hard on sci-fi and fantasy. There is a tipping point for him, however, where he starts enjoying the thrill of blasting something and circles back around to enjoying it.

Talents and/or Powers: Odwain is only a little bitty bit magical, and only because Bennai are the most magical race on The Road. He has latent magical ability that allows him to sense magical signatures and incorporate magic into technology, and maybe cast a low level spell if he tries really hard. If he was in a high fantasy setting, he’d be an enchanter. His staff (the big lightbulb thing I draw him with sometimes), the Hercules Rig, his Wasp Suite (robotic wasps with an AI and different spells loaded into them) and any other devilish, bug-based weapons and utility objects do his work for him.

Why Someone Might Love Them: Odwain’s a bit of a tough walnut to crack because I think that he shines in moments of sincerity and vulnerability, but he has to, well, get there. He’s capable of very great, thoughtful acts of selflessness and compassion, and deeply desires meaningful relationships with other people, but he gets insecure about how he expresses himself and can clam up. He’s passionate, emotional and expressive, but has been put down for being so, and was probably a very brilliant, curious child who was beaten down into a somber adult. I actually think that, at some point in his childhood, he was not entirely unlike Whitty in the way that he was eager to share things with people and explore the world around him, which is why Odwain feels very protective of his grandson. I think the most lovable thing about him is that when he’s at his best, nothing can stop him - he’s extremely intelligent, diligent, creative and innovative. He truly, deeply loves making things, and making them better, and when he’s not in a crash, creates prolifically. What he loves, he loves deeply and without compromise, which makes Rusty, a person that could also be said of, a good match for him. I also think his cattiness makes him very witty, he’s a genuinely funny guy who can engage in some really goofy shenanigans when he’s feeling up for it.  

Why Someone Might Hate Them: Oh, lots of reasons. Odwain is an acquired taste to many, or just not to many’s taste at all. He is very petty, blunt and catty, and as a young man is extremely bitter and negative. You’d be very hard pressed to get a positive statement about anything out of him between the ages of 16-25. He’s very confrontational, can become very loud and intense if it’s something that he feels is important, and is not afraid to cut people out of his life if he feels that they aren’t good for him. Sometimes, he will end relationships/friendships prematurely because of this. Being such, he is heavily prone to self-inflicted isolation. He has no childhood friends, and only kept in touch with one person from college. He just cuts and runs. Odwain’s self-loathing runs very deep, which makes it hard for him to accept, or ask for, emotional support or affection. And that can be hard on the people around him who care about him. His executive dysfunction can also be abysmal, making it seem like perhaps he is messy or lazy, but he’s just kind of a mess himself, hah.

A weird non-psychological one but I think is enough to get someone’s hackles up is that Odwain doesn’t like animals very much unless they are insects, invertebrates, etc. He finds mammals loud, messy and needy, and that “I’m the only one in my house that is allowed to be all of those things”.

How They Change: As Odwain ages and gains a stable support network of friends, his edges soften and he learns how to ask for help more effectively. He also learns how to better choose his battles, and how to exercise the compassion that he knows he has, but has been too insecure to utilize. He manages his mental health better, but is never entirely free of it, because you never really are. Most importantly, I think, he learns how to forgive the people who deserve forgiveness, and give people second chances, accepting that people can change. Which means the same can be said for him, too.

Why You Love Them: I’ve talked about this before, somewhere, I’m sure. Odwain is one of those characters that has a very big slice of my personality, and has a lot of my more negative traits, though they are ones we’re both working on. My first session with Odwain was a scene where Odwain’s dad died after being ill for a very long time, and as it happens, it was on father’s day, on the first or second father’s day after MY dad died, after several brutal months fighting with the cancer that eventually killed him. I had to put down the dice, so to speak, and for a short time, thought that Odwain might actually be a character that I scrapped completely. He came too close to something very painful and personal. I don’t remember how, exactly, but the solution to this problem of mine was that if he’s getting close to me on his own, then I might as well just let him in on everything. I can genuinely say that doing that has changed the way that I empathize with my characters and how I make them, and that there is something I share with Odwain that I don’t have with many of my other characters. Also, I like bees.

[scrambledgegs]

Lives vs Livelihood Tradeoff?

#SOanoNA?

    Just a few Mondays ago on July 27, 2020, President Duterte delivered his 5th SONA, and to no one’s surprise, it was composed of nothing but his usual angry tirades, off-tangent, incomprehensible ramblings and violent threats. His SONA has confirmed again – that apart from lockdowns, he still has no clear, feasible battleplan to counter this crippling pandemic.

     Much can tirelessly be said about his SONA, but one statement that I found satirically amusing was when he admonished the telco industry to strengthen their connectivity so that he jokingly, would be able to call Jesus in Bethlehem. I found myself actually wondering humorously, would Jesus even take his call?

Perhaps Digong wants to make an attempt at a lifeline call because where he knows he is eventually headed, I doubt there is reception down there, nor is there any broadcasted television shows, by his own special request.

On the 5th Month of Lockdown

    Less than a week after Duterte’s SONA, on August 1, 2020, the Philippine College of Physicians (PCP), through a signed letter, expressed their clamor for a revert to ECQ for the whole “Mega Manila for a period of two weeks, from August 1 to 15,” the same measures that were imposed beginning March 17, 2020 which was extended to May 15, 2020.

     Well-intentioned as these pleas were, and indeed, a validated cry for help, due to hospital over-congestion and the government’s weak response; I could not agree with the recommendation of another blanket ECQ, for we’ve already witnessed how the national government has made a mess of things. We all know what improvements happened during the first ECQ – absolutely nothing. I am no expert, but it seems that a better scenario would be for Manila to stay at the most, a GCQ environment and isolate specific at-risk areas.

    Let me start by first saying that do not get me wrong; I have the utmost respect and gratitude towards our doctors and members of the medical field. Enough cannot be said about what our medical frontliners have been doing for the country – the bouts of hardships they undergo everyday – physical and emotional battles that we as members of the non-medical sector would never truly understand. They are indeed heroes, and they are dealing with the ugliness of this pandemic on a whole other level. It would also be hypocritical for me to say that truly I understand what they are going through because I am not a medical frontliner, or even any kind of frontliner.

     However, as much as I stand with our medical frontliners, I also stand for an optimal mix of health/medical and economic initiatives, led by fact-based, scientific approaches to combat our relentless problems. Of course, we all know this is easier said than done.

In the words of another Filipino physician, “Whatever type of lockdown we impose – ECQ, MECQ, GCQ – we will not beat the pandemic without a comprehensive, scientific and systematic policy” (Alliance of Health Workers, National President, Taken from ANC, August 3, 2020).

  NO to ECQ, but a resounding YES to a better Health response by the National Government

    I agree that COVID-19 began as first and foremost a health problem and should have been dealt with as such, but now on our 5th month of community quarantine and entering a recession, the problem has snowballed into a socio-economic and political fiasco. In my Facebook feed, I read a post by the honorable Congressman Toff de Venecia who, in the context of the Lower House proposing a comprehensive Php1.3 Trillion stimulus package, stated that:

“Cong. Stella Quimbo, one of our fiercest lady legislators and a top economist in the country, has estimated that the Philippine economy will be losing 12 billion pesos a day for every day that we're on a two-week lockdown. That's a cumulative amount of 168 billion lost to our economy.”

 The post was referring to the country’s current state, as the government has reimplemented stricter lockdown measures: MECQ from the previous GCQ, beginning August 4, 2020.

     Yet, imagine, what will be further lost if an actual ECQ is imposed? These frightening numbers represent industries, companies, SMEs, employees, daily wage earners, sole breadwinners, etc directly and indirectly connected to businesses and counterparties that will not be allowed to operate during ECQ. Whatever was salvaged by easing restrictions, will be killed off or reduced to morsels by a second ECQ. Tip of the iceberg scenarios are: Life-savings of smaller-time entrepreneurs (who make up more than 90% of the country) will be wiped out, and they will have no means of financing, as banks and microlenders are understandably practicing austere and conservative lending measures right now. With continuous rock-bottom revenues, mass layoffs will increase and companies could default on their existing loans, and as a result, smaller banks may shutdown. Many could literally die before COVID-19 even finds its way to them, and as we know, ECQ does not allow for family members or loved ones to be present at their burial.

     To impose ECQ at this point in time with NO other moving parts or ongoing strategies in place to supplement it, is a futile attempt. It is a jab in the dark, band-aid and short-term solution at the cost of staggering resources and lives. We will have both rising COVID-19 cases and a dead economy.

     Furthermore, strict lockdowns, such as ECQ, are convenient tools that the administration utilizes to divert attention away from the real problems and boost their own agendas, through authoritarian and militaristic approaches.

In an article from The Economist (July 11th-17th 2020), entitled “Four months and counting, A ferocious lockdown lingers on, despite uncertain benefits,” the author writes: “On July 3rd [Duterte] signed into law a sweeping anti-terrorism bill which, among other things, allows suspects to be detained without a judge’s approval for up to 14 days. How this will help the Philippines through its current trauma is anyone’s guess” (The Economist, July 2020).

  “WE are in a losing battle against COVID-19, and we need to come up with a consolidated plan”

     These were the words written in the PCP’s letter. To supplement their ECQ recommendation, they have proposed seven (7) points in the letter. Below is the copy of the letter:

Multi-dimensional Problems

     Nobody in the right mind would disagree that there is a case for this letter; these are reasonable points that truly warrant immediate and swift action, but I also wonder if the physician writers of this letter consulted with experts or consultants from the economic sector and related fields? It is not my intention to pit industries against each other. In fact, how I wish these points would be granted. Yet these lofty recommendations sound more idealistic than feasible, and may possibly further handicap the health sector.

     I DO agree that this letter identifies specific gaps and presents a guiding framework on what needs to be prioritized pronto. I however have comments pertaining to numbers 4, 6 and 7:

#4. On Transportation safety

But how about Public Transportation?

    In the event of another ECQ, one concerning aspect is that all modes of public transportation are to be firmly suspended. Again, how will commuting medical frontliners, not to mention employees of “essential services” get to work? In a Manila Times article written last April 4, 2010, which was during ECQ, business columnist Robert Siy wrote:

“Frontline workers are suffering from the shortage of public transport services. My estimate is that 2/3 of these workers are seriously affected — they are either unable to get to work or experience serious difficulty in reaching their destinations (e.g. having to walk over an hour each way). In supermarkets and groceries, lines at checkout lanes are long because many cashiers have not made it to work. Those who do are already weary by the time they get to their posts then they have to carry the load of those unable to get to work. A similar story is playing out in hospitals and clinics” (Siy, April 4, 2020).

    It must be highlighted that government departments such as DOTr and the AFP during ECQ made some commendable initiatives too like by chartering over 100 vehicles to transport medical frontliners to and from work. However, this number, including other factors such as, the way our roads are built, limited bus routes and strategic drop-off/pick-up points, “are reaching only a small fraction of those in need.”

     “As of March 24, when there were 72 buses fielded on 14 routes, only 1,113 workers were served. On March 27, the DoTr and other agencies fielded 106 buses on 18 routes; these buses collectively carried only 1,402 health workers that day — an average of just 13 passengers per bus for the entire day” (Siy, April 4, 2020).

     Since no tricycles or jeepneys will be allowed to operate during ECQ, this leaves medical frontliners still having to walk great distances to get to and from drop-off/pick-up points, and of course feeling exhausted and fatigued by the time they get to work and thus, further increasing their likelihood of getting sick.

     This type of free shuttling service is also not economically sustainable, unless the private sector gets more heavily involved. For them to be able to stay involved, is that they need revenues – which they will not be able to achieve with ECQ.

#6: On Public compliance with self-protection

But how about the revival of the economy, Mental Health and well…Hope?

I somewhat agree with the PCP’s statement that “The progressive lifting of quarantine has sent a public message that the pandemic is getting better. It is not.”

     However, I’d also like to think that there are many well-informed Filipinos who know that the number of COVID-19 cases have escalated (now more than 119,000), and perhaps it was not the intention of (at least some officials) to convey this message of false hope. The rationale behind easing community quarantine restrictions was to slowly resuscitate the dying economy.

      Under GCQ for instance, I recognize that while some are able to practice “voluntary ECQ” or strict social-distancing and stay-at-home measures because they can afford to, many more cannot afford this luxury. I can see why a direct and definitive ECQ proclamation seems like the only way to really enforce these critical daily practices. However, like earlier mentioned, at destructive socio-economic costs.

     Moreover, let us not forget that the Philippines holds the record for having the longest lockdown in the world, but we as a sociable and gregarious culture, also have the strong need to be with other people. Naturally, nobody can really withstand being alone and forever cooped up, and indeed, a social facet of a prolonged lockdown are detrimental effects on mental health. Mental health problems are very real and present, and should not be taken lightly. All of us have been directly affected in one way or the other, and we all by now have felt the pangs of hopelessness and anxiety creeping up from time to time. Some days are better or worse than others.

#7 On Social Amelioration

But what are to become of the deemed “non-essential” industries and the services sector?

     The PCP letter also sought to “ask your good offices to reconsider the pronouncement of the Department of Trade and Industry (DTI) regarding the approval to reopen businesses such as gyms, fitness centers, tutorial services, review centers, internet cafes, pet grooming services, drive-in cinemas previously closed.

     Again, I am of mixed feelings about this statement. The Philippines can be described as a consumption-driven economy, and as such, it only follows that the Services sector makes up 56.2% of the Philippines’s GDP, well at least as of FY 2018. Prior COVID-19, services consistently posted an average growth of 6%-7%, leading the pack among the other economic sectors    

     Indeed, “Healthy people to reinvigorate the economy” are of course needed to win this battle, but the country also needs the wheels of business and commerce to keep going on, in order to keep healthy people healthy and pump monetary fuel into the economy.

Recalibration

     In no disrespect, perhaps the medical industry can recalibrate their efforts to collectively clamor for such above (7) points, together with a meeting of minds from the economic sector and related fields, but remove ECQ from the equation. It is a hard reality that the loss of lives and livelihood is tragically inevitable, but it does not have to boil down to a stark “lives vs livelihood” tradeoff.

Our health sector have their countrymen’s support, and only a tyrant would dismiss this alarming distress call.

And indeed, after above PCP letter was made public, President Duterte was again all over the news lambasting our health workers and goading them to indeed start a revolution, even if none of that was remotely articulated in the letter. However, now that I think about it, perhaps his pre-emptive taunts for one may be what needs to be done, at least in our own way for now.

[the-e4b]

Gee, look who’s back to quote unquote making “commentary” on us.

Long story short: After Jojo’s post on Josephine McCarthy accusing Keyframe (because that’s all he can do these days, make assumptions and “commentate” on the bronalysis community because he’s that of an nuisance) of “breaking copyright laws” because she’s selling shirts with her fan art on it and taking a neutral stance mind you on the matter (basically saying it’s sort of a grey situation when it comes to selling fan art of existing IPs), the fucker decided to again, decide to commentate on us.

Also apparently he says “bronies are breaking copyright laws” because of the fan art and shit.

Hey puto McCarthy, if that’s the case, then so is everyone. Including that once shirt you had that parodied the Straight Outta Compton movie logo.

But please, do enforce how bronies are bad for doing fan art and that equals copyright breaking.

Anyway back to his video.

So again, Josiphine thinks that Key’s breaking “copyright laws” (and that’s there’s no grey area either by some logical reason) because she’s selling shirts with existing IPs on it. Now here’s the thing, that within itself would be a problem..if she was selling it as her own.

She doesn’t own the MLP brand nor any other brand that’s being sold, and it’s fan art at that too.The fan art doesn’t look exactly like the show’s style too.

That’s what prevents it from being C&Ded to say the least because it’s not merch from the show itself.

Now I know Ephrom heard of the Jan Animations controversy that lead to Jan having to cancel Button’s Adventures because copyright.

See here’s the difference between Keyframe’s art and Jan’s animation style:

JAN’S WAS THE FUCKING EXACT TO MLP.

THAT’S what bothered Hasbro. Button’s Adventures looked EXACTLY like the show’s style and that’s what prompted them to go full blown Corporate on Jan.

Yes there are also fan animations that look like the show too, but Jan’s was getting immense exposure because it looked so alike to the show.

Key’s more stylized perspective on the characters and pretty much does fan art of them.

One of the other problems with Jan’s project was that he acted like he owned Button Mash.

Don’t believe me?

Look at him getting pissed off at the fact Button’s cameos and later on in the MLP Mobile game. He flat out acted like he owned Button Mash despite the fact all he really did was popularize the character (before the C&D ruined the Mash and lead to Derpibooru developing some sort of hate towards him).

Ephrom also says there’s no “grey area” for artists to do commissions for fans who wanna see their favorite characters done by them.

what.

Again, are you saying fan art is bad in general, because if that’s the damn case, then not just Hasbro, but ANY corporation would have shut down any convention that sells fan merch/fan art and by some extent, they would have started shutting down all artists who commission.

“GUYS GUYS, BEING A HIT MAN IS A GREY AREA”.

…YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT.

HOW DOES ONE COMPARE “ARTIST COMMISSIONS” TO “HIT MAN”.

How do you computer.

Because really, that’s all it is. Fan material, Josephine. and Yes, some companies are fine with fan material, and some will shut down certain things because of it (Nintendo shutting down those Pokemon fan games recently?), but that’s why it’s a grey area.

Or what, because it’s Keyframe, a bronalysis member, you need to bitch about them to seek attention.

“’Keyframe the…’ DEFENDING. I SAID DEFENDING”.

You legit still think that and I want to drown in hot water, dear god you’re so stupid.

He then goes on to say how we’re quote unquote “never been neutral” and that “they’re biased” because of the Jerry Peeters stuff.

Look who’s talking.

Who’s biased against political arguments because he’s a liberal and constantly attempting to look smart when all he does is look like those people 4chan mocks.

Who’s biased against ANYONE that Jerry Peet despises and goes onto tagging them on twitter and harassing them because of it.

Who’s biased against GoldenFox because of ONE REVIEW and proceeds to mock and poke at his interest in dressing his sona in drag.

Who’s biased whenever someone critiques Jerry Peet.

Because really Josine, if we were really that biased, I’m pretty sure we would have gotten into arguments with other uses like you have repeatedly.

Once again, you take what we say, twist it to fit your standards of logic and make it seem that we’re the idiots while you’re some genius.

Really, can you for once just fucking quit while ahead?

I’m gonna let Jojo give his thoughts too so here’s he.

I want to rid myself of your obnoxious biased dribble by blasting the infamous live version of My Bloody Valentine’s “You Made Me Realise” with the incredibly loud “holocaust section”.

Being an artist, having several friends who are artists… I can see why DP is annoyed by the absurd accusations thrown at us by a Cyberbully Apologist.

 Conventions are a good place for artists and vendors to gain some credentials and earn some dosh for new supplies or to help pay for groceries. So what you are suggesting, SifFroJo is that major conventions not allow people to draw so they can earn their keep.

It’s funny because you forget, Xain the one person you don’t hate because he likes the taste of the Canadian sausage also has been paid by people to draw ponies. Such as Jerry and his fiance Lizzie, The NeoCon Bogeyman Josh Scorcher.. THE LIST GOES ON! Xain made the original Josh and Jerry pony puppets for their respective reviews and yet you brand someone so close to the God Emperor as a criminal?

I knew you were made of crappy stuff.

-JoJo & DeafPony

[noxian-rose]

Observations.

There were no faces he knew more than hers, no eyes he stared more into than those amber orbs. Throughout the years he had watched her seduce and use that sweet mouth of hers on diplomats, ambassadors and even generals. Hesitation was not in her vocabulary when it came to facing situations. But his careful eye was how he had discovered her in a far more different light. Swain had a habit for watching every slight change in a person’s visage; it was how he had moved the tides to his favor and gained his charm within the Noxian High Command. But LeBlanc was no ordinary woman, she played the same game as he did. Their similarity had brought them to a new game of sorts, a fascinating challenge on garnering information from the other simply through wordplay and expressions. It was a game that had lasted through the years and inevitably brought together their well-knit camaraderie.

The tea table was their favorite battleground, a scattered torn land of the swords from their bitter words a site of torn flags of war – the remaining traces of their once kindred ties. He wished he had more of a chance, a longer time time to understand the complexities of the woman he had known as Evaine. But as it was fate, it was also a grueling reality that the two of them have come to accept.

He closed his eyes momentarily, letting the rays of the Noxian sunset sink beneath the towering concrete walls of the Immortal Bastion, and with the dawning of evening drowned the worries and tribulations of his position as it’s leader. Never did his bones gain their deserved rest in the day for a man of his age and stature, only in the sun-kissed afternoons did her presence come about to give him solace.

As if the mere thought of her name summoned her, LeBlanc then waltzed into his estate as she normally did and found him in the aviary, sitting alone with a cup in hand and a porcelain tea-set ready on the table; his eyes opening to greet her. A sun-filled smile lit her features in the most uncharacteristic way imaginable as she approached him. It reminded him how easy it was for her to simply change from one personality to another. It would have been pleasing, if he didn’t remind himself constantly of things otherwise.

How different it was from the past.

“Jericho, darling– you were gone yesterday” she stated, her voice filled with sweet concern “is something the matter?” LeBlanc gingerly took a seat on the opposite side of the small table while Swain naturally poured her a cup of tea out of habit. Ionian tea, her most favored taste for their meetings, he had come to learn that.

“I had to look after Beatrice, she was ill and needed my attention” he replied smoothly. It was true enough, Beatrice was feeling sick of being trapped inside her cage all day during council meetings.

But his full reasons were far less than respectable, let alone accepted in Noxian society. He had bought himself a ticket to see Sona Buvelle herself play live in Demacia under the disguise and alias of a noble. It was dangerous and admittedly reckless, but he thought it was worth to see his favorite musician. She of course had thought of it to be ridiculous.

“And?” She wasn’t satisfied, of course she wasn’t. LeBlanc was and will always be the best liar between the both of them, even if he did lie it would be for naught. The Deceiver held her head on her chin, her head tilted to the side. Golden irises sparkled with her ever present insatiable thirst for curiosity, those dangerous eyes that should never exist. He remembered that gaze now; embedded within a memory buried in the back of his mind. A time when he had been telling her details on Vastayan culture. Oh, how they glimmered with that same inquiring stare.

Swain then lowers his verdant- colored face mask, allowing himself to take a lengthy sip of his tea. The scars sketched across his features would eternally etch moments of war in his mind. Somedays he was indecisive on using his magic to make them disappear; the same magic the woman across him wielded proudly. Of course the General couldn’t forget his dear ally’s own scars despite the fact; those that were mapped across her hands and the back of her neck like constellations. Emilia would never acknowledge them of course, she wouldn’t dare take her chance of vulnerability with anyone, only Evaine remained…

“ And I attended a performance of Sona Buvelle’s, she played beautifully” he would then state, lowering his cup to its saucer; crimson eyeing porcelain features for a reaction.

Her lower lip twitched ever so slightly and her forehead crinkled for a millisecond. A crack in the mask. Bitter yet all the same. Typical Evaine.

“Does the poster of her in your private quarters not suffice? Or the multiple love letters lying patiently in your drawer?” the Deceiver asked teasingly, nothing short of mockery filling her tone to the brim whilst one hand stirred her tea at a slow pace. Honey eyes bore into his, unreadable as usual, while one leg crossed over her other and dangled in circles beneath the table “honestly, you can be such a child at times”

A pregnant silence sat between them. He could hear her breath hitch at the realization of her words towards him; atleast beneath the layer of her illusions.  Swain’s neutral gaze turned to ice at her comment and the exposed fragility of their alliance became visible. LeBlanc’s eyes darted to the table, averting his stare. Swain dropped a sugar cube into his tea, suddenly finding the supposedly comforting taste too bitter for his liking.

“Is this all you came to discuss?” He continued onward without as much as a stutter, raising an eyebrow. This was a professional meeting, not a tea party; no matter how much she would debate otherwise. He knew her better than to expect LeBlanc of all people to take much of anything into serious tones– simply another layer of illusion, more evidence to his claims and of the lies her existence was built upon.

Wordlessly,  LeBlanc pulled out a thick folder and slid it mindlessly  to him “These are reports from my agents, I think you’ll find them to your liking” she replied nonchalantly while opening the manila folder.

Swain wasted no time, looking at the papers laid out in front of him; crimson hues never truly leaving her. Perhaps in false fear of her pulling anything against him, there was never any true certainty with the Deceiver. Steadily, he peered past the tax reports watching as LeBlanc pursed her lips during his ‘review’ of the files, fiddling with her fingers before eventually picking up her teacup and sipping delicately from it. She set the cup down to it’s saucer and glanced at her perfectly manicured nails. Patience never was her strongest suit, even in the days of their training.

He could remember her throwing projectiles towards targets without much care of their precise aim, brows furrowed and hands gripping her practice staff– one which was certainly shoddy and of poor quality. Evaine had nearly thrown a fit attempting to summon an illusionary clone, reddened cheeks from her frustration and irritation; she had tried for hours to cast spells but none prevailed to bring the desired result. In a fit of rage, she had snapped the practice staff in half and threw the shattered pieces to the side of the training room.

Swain could still remember the yelling and her frustrated tears. Simply because she had not been able to summon the clone the current Matron at that time had ordered her to do. Evaine had even been upset for weeks after the incident.

“Interesting, thank you. You may go if you please.”

The Deceiver stared at the Tactician in internal shock. Swain had never dismissed her from their conversations before. She stood up, peeved and took a deep bow, amber eyes failing to meet his.

“As you wish, Grand General.” LeBlanc replied stoically and disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke. Swain leaned back in his chair, an exasperated sigh parting his lips as he took off his cloth mask and glanced at Beatrice sitting in her cage. The bird cawed at her master.

“I know I hurt her” he murmured, fingering his tea saucer “ Evaine simply overstepped her boundary for a moment” There were few moments like these between them, they rarely ever decided to make an appearance; but with their expected personalities it was inevitable.

Beatrice gave a low pitched caw at that statement and Jericho shook his head in doubt “Her? Jealous? That’s almost an insult.”

The raven thrashed around her cage, cawing hysterically before staring at Swain with all six of her eyes.

“If it is what you’re assuming, then perhaps she feels the same way…” he concluded, staring at the thorned onyx ring resting on his finger. The once glowing ring no longer held it’s once vibrant crimson hue, common with active rings within the members of the Black Rose. The General stood up in his seat. How long has it been? He couldn’t remember, but he knew there was a needed change.

In the later shadow of the  night he took the shriveled poster of Sona off his wall and burned the letters he had written. Sacrifices, he knew– must be made somehow, for dearest Evaine. Perhaps she hadn’t been genuinely bitter about Sona, maybe she had even been joking about the entire situation at the tea table; but it never mattered to him. Sona’s symphony was enough for him to enjoy, the memorabilia was nothing of importance to him any longer; no it never quite held the value it once did after their hasty exchange.

For Evaine, my dearest Matron.

[ceallachtomas]

Setting Out on the Journey Up the Mountain, Once More

I have a need inside of me to return to this blog. I consistently lie to myself that it is not the creative outlet that I need. At the very least, I manage to talk myself out of doing anything with it whenever the creativity bug bites at me. So, I figure that the days and months leading to Lá Fheile Pádraig, or Saint Patrick’s Day, are the perfect opportunity to say, “Yes, this is necessary - you need to do this!”

I have been feeling an emptiness inside related to my lack of motivation to do something with this blog. But then I began to reminisce about what the holiday has meant to me through the past few years. I found an entry in my journal from four years ago. The words that I read, were as relevant today as they were when I first wrote them. In fact, the sad part is, my life has not changed much since I wrote them. I still feel the same.

I keep re-reading those word over and over again. I have two choices. I can lament about how horrible I feel about not doing what I set out to do. Or I can treat those words as a letter from my past self to a future self, the one I am in this present day. I prefer the later. Maybe what I wanted to accomplish then, I was not ready to do. Or more so, maybe my God, was not ready for me to do those things. Maybe there is a message somewhere in the past four years that will spell itself out if I look back on all that has happened to me in that course of time.

My main goal is not to make this blog about religion. It is not for me to dictate where others find solace and peace in their faith or even lack of it. But, my faith is part of who I am. I will not hesitate to reference that faith. That does not mean that I am looking to shun my Pagan friends. I treasure my friendships with those people. However, I feel through this upcoming feast of Saint Padraig, that I have been sent a message; a message from him, through God.

"I was like a stone lying in deep mud; and he that is mighty came and in his mercy lifted me up, and raised me aloft and put me on top of the wall. And therefore I ought to shout out aloud and return something to the Lord for the great mercy he has shown me now and for all ages."

Such an image, when you consider the stone walls that weave across the Irish countryside. For some time now, I too have felt like a muddy stone. I need to trust in my God to put me on top of that wall. I need to pray to be lifted up, so that I can take the gifts that He has given me and finally put them to the use that he designed me to do.

Here is the journal passage that I wrote about Lá Fheile Pádraig those years ago. This time, I not only read the words, but I choose to live the words.

St Patrick’s Day. Even though it has been a while since I have written anything, the idea of the day made me feel that I need to write again. I have not written for many reasons. I have not felt inspired. I have felt distanced. I have felt disconnected. Then I had a conversation online with a longtime close friend. She brought it to my attention about getting beyond my comfort zone. There have been opportunities to get beyond the lines that I have drawn in that comfort zone. There have been many of those opportunities that I chose not to take or act upon. I realised that I have to stop waiting for opportunities to bestow themselves upon me. I need to reach out to those opportunities. I need to do more than reach out to them, I need to seize them. Much like I did with Croagh Patrick. 

I never imagined that I would have the drive to reach the top of that mountain. Yet, I did it. I would have been disappointed with myself if I went all the way there and did not make it to the top. That is not to say that everyone needs to do it. It was my personal goal, and I met it. It felt amazing to do it. Then, when I came back, my world as I knew it began to change. What I felt as though I had accomplished, diminished. I lost sight of what it was to have made a goal. Perhaps that is because all of the other goals that I had set out for myself previously, crumbled. I vowed that I would continue on. Now, I realise that I was not continuing on. I was just going through the motions. I had forgotten what it mean to have prayer in my life. I will leave it at that. I am not looking to turn this into a preachy site. What I am saying is, that a part of me that had existed at one time, was missing. Much like the journey up the Reek, I have been on a journey since I left the life that I had known for the last seven years. 

Some people can walk away from things easily. Couples divorce. People pass on. Things come to an end. These are all facts of life. It does not mean that we can all handle them. What I had experienced for the last seven years was a great career experience. I am not a person who can easily leave a piece of himself behind. I need to constantly reflect and figure out how to get that piece of myself and re-join it to who and what I once was. I am not able to leave part of myself behind.  

This is why I am taking this time to dedicate myself to breaking outside of my comfort zone. I am dedicating myself to reaching beyond an area where others may say that I should not go. I am reaching beyond to a place where others will say that I am not qualified. That is okay if others feel that way.  

What I am reaching toward is the authentic side.  I have always wanted to do things as authentically as I could. The hard part is, that it does not always work in a business sense. Authenticity, is not always the most practical, financially. I get that. That is probably why I chose not to do it as a career anymore. For me, doing it right and correctly is more important than doing it to make as much money as I can. Everyone has his or her motivations. Mine are are doing things as laboriously  and as intensely as possible. Shortcuts are not an option. Keeping in mind that shortcuts are not the same as incorporating modernisation.  

In the next few days, I intend to write about why I feel the way i do about food. I often forget, that because this is my space, I make the rules. It does not always have to be about a text, photos and a recipe.

This week is about climbing that “mountain” again. It is not just about finding the passion, but latching on to it. It is about living the passion. I am hoping to write a bit each day this week to get me in the habit of writing again. Eventually recipes will follow.  

Much like climbing the mountain, I will go with a staff for support, a camera to be my eyes, and good company to share the journey with.  

Lá fhéile Pádraig sona dhuit 

Four years later I do plan to write my reflections not on just this message, but on the holiday itself. I plan to open up about my feelings in regards to the holiday, how I plan to celebrate it, and a few other ideas. I am finally ready to take the journey I thought I was ready for so long ago. When I wrote about that mountain four years ago I thought the answers were going to lie at the top of the mountain. Even though I have not reached the top yet, I have forgotten that I should be looking for the answers in the journey itself.

“Somewhere between the bottom of the climb and the summit is the answer to the mystery why we climb.” -Greg Child

[meditationadvise]

A Loving-Kindness Meditation for Moms

Last week, my little girl and also I were traveling on the East Coastline when she started coughing. We determined to take a "careful waiting" technique for a couple days to see if it would improve. After 2 nights of much coughing as well as little sleep, the only thing that had ended up being clear was that the coughing was worsening. The next day, my sibling who functions in a clinical facility assisted us get a visit with a doctor, that detected her with pneumonia and also recommended antibiotics.

Waiting in the facility waiting area prior to our visit, I rested with the various other mothers as well as little ones, ranging in age from a couple of months to early teenagers. Mommies held their babies, as well as older children leaned on their mothers, heads relaxing on shoulders or laps. I could possibly see in the mommies' eyes the problem as well as fatigue that comes from caring for an unwell child.

Parenting is impressive, attractive, and satisfying, and also it is hard job, also on the most effective of days. Include ailment or injury to your child, as well as it's also harder. Include one's own mental health and wellness susceptabilities to anxiety or anxiety, and also it's tougher still. Kids lean on moms, and also it is essential for mamas to have something to lean on too.

Kids lean on moms, and it is necessary for moms to have something to lean on too.

Which is why I benefited years with my coworker Sherryl Goodman to develop a 8 week Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Treatment program for mommies. It's called MBCT-PD (PD is for perinatal, which describes the months while pregnant as well as after becoming a moms and dad), and it's designed to reverberate with pregnant and postpartum ladies that have backgrounds of anxiety. We educate mommies to lean on the support of mindfulness technique on the excellent days, as well as to lean on it much more on the hard days.

The loving-kindness method that we educate in MBCT with mommies who have a record of depression has been a touchstone for many throughout tough times. We discuss a section of the assisted meditation by Sharon Salzberg below with you with our wish that you and also your kids are well as well as deal with ease.

Loving-kindness Meditation For Moms

We constantly start with loving-kindness for oneself as a mother, duplicating the expressions: "May I be loaded with loving-kindness. Could I alleviate myself with compassion in great times and also in tough times. May I be well and also cope with convenience." We relocate to sharing that structure of dental care with one's youngster:

Bring your baby to mind. If you are a mommy to be, bring to your recognition your child expanding within. If you are a mom, bring your baby to mind or maybe look at your baby in your arms, resting or sleeping. Share this loving-kindness with your baby.

You could state delicately to on your own: " May my baby be surrounded with loving-kindness. May I reply to my infant with compassion in great times and in difficult times. May my child be well as well as live with convenience." " May my baby be bordered with loving-kindness. May I react to my child with kindness in great times and in tough times. May my baby be well as well as cope with convenience." You can delicately duplicate these phrases over and also over again.

Hold each expression in your attention as well as link to it. As finest you can, allow your mind remainder in the phrases. " May my child be bordered with loving-kindness. May I respond to my infant with generosity in good times and also in tough times. May my baby be well and cope with convenience."

Feel the definition of just what you are saying, yet without attempting to compel anything. As well as whenever you discover your interest has actually wandered, it's okay. When you acknowledge you have actually shed touch with the moment, you can always delicately let go and also renew. No matter for how long it's been, regardless of where your mind has actually gone, it does not matter. We have an ability to restore, to start over, to come back. " May my child be bordered with loving-kindness. May I respond to my infant with compassion in excellent times and in difficult times. May my baby be well and also deal with simplicity." You could use your baby's name or the expression, "my infant", whichever seems best to you.

Gather all your attention behind one phrase at a time. You do not need to try to make anything take place or produce or manufacture any unique sensation, but instead shepherd your attention back to these phrases. Whenever you locate your interest has actually wandered, do not evaluate on your own, and be as completely existing behind one phrase as you could be. " May my infant be bordered with loving-kindness. May I reply to my child with compassion in great times and also in tough times. May my infant be well and deal with ease."

Experience this feeling of being attached to your baby and also inviting love and also take care of your infant, precisely as they are in this moment. " May my baby be surrounded with loving-kindness. Might I respond to my child with compassion in excellent times as well as in difficult times. May my infant be well and live with simplicity."

No matter for how long it's been, despite where your mind has gone, it matters not. We have a capacity to renew, to start over, ahead back.

Sona Dimidjian is teaming up with Sherryl H. Goodman on the honest book, The Conscious Path to Well Being While pregnant as well as Very early Motherhood, with audio directed reflections by Sharon Salzberg, Guilford Press.

[virtuosin]

💔 (and Yone hehe. If you want!)

a    ‘  please  ’   kiss.

It was yet another brisk night, the air promising of more rain. Sona found herself traversing the meadow once more, finding a suitable spot in the grass beside her newfound friend. She knows of the warnings in regards to night travel into the forests. The First Lands were not brimming with tales of demons and spirits for amusement. Being snatched up was a real threat, one the maven understood, but even stills he cannot resist the urge to find him. In the very least, she’s capable enough to escape an altercation, her etwahl and magical prowess refined for such a feat. It was all she could do to ease some of Yone’s woe, though it was apparent that he still wasn’t entirely pleased about her traversing the wilds alone at night. “I know,” Sona says sweetly before Yone has the chance to speak, a groomed eyebrow arched high. “I shouldn’t come, I shouldn’t keep coming, but I am. I know of the dangers, but your good company is worth the trouble. The only bother I’m faced with is this awful chill.” She quietly snickers as the etwahl settles into the grass before her, at ease with Yone’s presence at this point. Thankfully, it only took a single scolding. Though, Sona noticed how lax the instrument was now. No longer were its strings taught, as if ready to unleash of volley of notes for the sake of its master. It was content in the grass, idle and at peace with the situation. It seemed it was of the same mind as Sona. “It’s funny,” Sona begins to pluck a gentle, lazy melody on those gilded strings, her smile thoughtful as she peers down at the dull glint of gold. “I have faced many things in my time. Do you know what is the most grotesque, vile encounter I’ve had?” After a pause, a string is struck with a dense reverberation, then silence. Another beat of silence. And another. Then, a quiet trill of notes echo into the expanse of the woodlands. It’s a foreboding minuet, one that grips the attention of any who hear it. Not for its beauty, but it’s sorrow. One look at Sona and you’d think such a song could not come from a woman of such fair features, of a noble upbringing. What would be more distressing is how unusual the deeper tones are in contrast to her standard orchestrations. “Azakana, Kanmei, the other various creatures from the land of our birth?” Another pause of silence, then a discordant tune is played, grating but somehow blending into the melancholy of her melody. “It is the mortal races that repulse me most. They are the most treacherous things I’ve seen.” She draws her lips into a thin line before continuing. “The heart is capable of great feats, but a touch of darkness can corrupt the pious, the confident, the resolute...and that darkness spreads, like a disease, and at some point it becomes uncontrollable. They feast upon each other’s fears, secrets, nightmares...feast upon those negative emotions as if they’re no better than the Akana that torment them.” “I was born here, but I fled during the Noxian invasion. Did I tell you that?” It’s now that Sona raises her features, offering a warm grimace towards Yone. “I was adopted by a reputable family in Demacia’s court. An upgrade to my days at the orphanage in Galrin. But,” She glances back down, her tune continuing on as she’d been speaking. Never does it speed up, instead keeping this dreadful slow pace that beckons the listener in. “I was forced to hide my abilities...told that, should any find out about my magic or beloved etwahl, I could be taken away and executed. Heh, I fled my homeland to avoid the war, but I am welcomed in the iron embrace of a bird cage.” Fingers twitch, hesitant to strike another chord. If he were to glance, he might notice this as a moment of great emotions for Sona, the anguish flickering through her gaze for but a moment. “I have witnessed what Demacia does to magic users...and I have been hunted by their Mageseekers that would see me in chains. All because I merely exist, for something outside of my control...but I do not hate Demacia. I only wish for them to grow. Heh, I do hate the Mageseekers, I will not lie, but,” There’s another distinct pause, and when her fingers pluck the strings next, the uplifting trill returns. It’s gentle, light, like morning rain against a glass pane. “I find myself happier here, seated beside my curious new friend, happier than I’ve been with any other human being. Yes, I must be on my guard in order to traverse these woods safely, but...dear Yone, I promise you that your presence in my life is worth the risk.” As the melody shifts into this heartfelt chorus of notes, Sona’s body would sway gently. Part of her melted into the music she crafted, as if her very body was responding to the symphony being created. This lighter, hopeful tune were the escape of her lighthearted emotions, all the wonderful thoughts and feelings she’s ever felt since meeting Yone. With any luck, he can hear the echo of the memories in his mind. It would come to its inevitable end, the last note drifting up towards the night sky. “Yone,” She muses his name softly, like a precious secret on her lips. Leaning over on a hand to get the right leverage, Sona would stretch across the distance to press a kiss into his cheek, right where the flesh was exposed. She lingers there, the mirth of her smile infectious. “Please,” It’s spoke with such quiet urgency, and while she lingers close, she does not move to kiss him again in any facet. Instead, she scoots closer, a hand gingerly holding the edge of his face to keep their gaze steady. There’s something harrowing in this red mask, in those eyes--but there is also Yone. The smile broadens a touch as she presses her forehead against the crimson visage, her cerulean eyes drooping shut. “I know it displeases you, but I have made this choice, so please,” She exhales softly, long lashes pressing into her cheeks. “Please, I don’t wish for you to run on me...to disappear ‘for my own good’...I have finally found someone I care for, someone worth my time and efforts, someone who has seen me for who I truly am. I don’t wish to lose that...I wish to cherish it with all my heart...I wish to nurture this and see it grow. You say it is unwise, and you might not be wrong, but it feels right to my heart that I am here...so please, forgive me this transgression, but I shall be your loyal friend, if you will have me, Yone.”