#it has been so long since I read 101

[mirokuna-hime]

Yo what if Dazai did his whole speech in ch 101 not because he thought he is gonna kill Chuuya or intended to deceive fyodor, but because Dazai thinks he is gonna die.

[claudiajcregg]

x

wow pluto reclassification discourse is exhausting. here I thought doing a poll that highlights some of pluto's cool lesser known dwarf planet friends would put things in a context where it can't possibly go in that direction but nope a bunch people really do just hold a hard stance against a classification system entirely out of a sense of nostalgia

[luminoustarlight]

As Fate Would Have It | DILF!Anakin Skywalker

Anakin Skywalker gets a new assistant, who also happens to be his favorite OnlyFans performer.

◂ previous ▸ chapter two

rating: explicit | pairing: anakin skywalker x afab!reader | wc: 3.7k | read on ao3

warnings: modern!au, undisclosed age gap, SMUT [use of toys (dildo and fleshlight), mutual masturbation, squirting, watching of pornography]

After midnight is Anakin’s favorite time of the day. His kids have been asleep since 8:30 pm— their weekday curfew— and he’s finally stopped working on the project he brought home from work. It kept him from watching 101 Dalmatians with Luke and Leia but “it needed to be done.” 

He completed it well after the twins went to sleep, his neck was aching, and he needed to unwind. Now, he’s settled on the left side of his king bed, back propped against the headboard and his tablet waiting for him on the nightstand. He’s been thinking about this all day. Ever since he got the notification at 1:48 p.m. that HoneySuckle uploaded a new video. 

While he was at work. On a very busy day, he might add. As much as he wanted to get away to watch it immediately, he couldn’t. But now he has uninterrupted time to enjoy himself and the woman he’s about to watch. 

Anakin watches HoneySuckle exclusively. For over three years now, he has been subscribed to her page for $7.99 a month, which is an absolute disgrace to the quality of content she puts out. That’s why he tips her at least $200 for each video. It’s a number that hardly means a thing to Anakin. But to HoneySuckle, it is everything. It’s a cushion for incidentals. For the flat tire on her Mini Cooper. The vet bill for her orange tabby, Panini. She has expressed her thanks to him in their private messages, but it never seems to be enough. 

Their casual conversations are never enough. 

It comes as a great surprise to Anakin to see that her newest video is dedicated to him. Him— Anakin Skywalker AKA skyguy81. AKA HoneySuckle’s biggest fan and number one supporter. 

Squirting for Sky 🖤

He’s never clicked on anything faster in his life. The edges of his brain are beginning to fog. The mere thought of Honey getting off to the thought of him makes goosebumps prickle along his skin and his cock begin to swell. But then he sees what she’s wearing. Or, not wearing for that matter. Usually, she’ll begin videos with a full set on. Whether it’s a lacy bra and panties, a teddy, or a babydoll, teasingly taking off her lingerie is part of her brand. 

Not in this video, though. In this new 23 minute video, she is wearing a black garter and thong with roses embroidered in the mesh along her hip bones. Sheer black stockings are pulled up to her thighs and as she spreads her legs— dear God— Anakin sees that her panties are crotchless. 

Every video is expertly angled so only the bottom half of her face is on camera. She’s mentioned to Anakin in the past that this is not her full time job and therefore some anonymity is important. He doesn’t need to see her whole face to know she is beautiful. 

“I bought this just for you,” Honey says directly to Anakin. “You said you liked black. I hope you like this.”  She goes to grab the vibrator next to the pink dildo on her bed. 

“I love it,” Anakin mumbles. Running her hand over one of her bare breasts, she turns on the vibrator. The familiar hum of the toy reminds Anakin to put on his headphones. Just in case. 

Now with that taken care of, Anakin can begin taking care of himself. It doesn’t take long for the guy to get hard when he’s watching Honey. Hell, he can just think about her and he’ll be horny. The melodic cadence to her voice, the angelic sounds she makes when she cums, the lustful desire to bury himself in her cunt. She is the only woman he has desired since his wife and he doesn’t even know her name. But he knows the curves of her body as if he’s felt them with his own two hands. God, how he wishes he could touch her, kiss her, pleasure her. 

It’s pathetic. He is pathetic for wanting the impossible. Anakin Skywalker is a smart man. A genius in many regards. Yet he’s delusional enough to think her messages might mean something. That this video dedicated to him means something.

Of course, it doesn’t. Everything about his conversations with Honey is transactional. It’s part of her job. That’s it. Nothing more. You’re not special. 

But fuck, does it make his cock hard thinking this is all for him. Well, this is for him. The title of the video says so. With her legs spread nice and wide, Anakin can see how wet she has become from the vibrator on her clit. 

Stiff and dribbling precum on his belly, Anakin wraps his long fingers around his equally long shaft. He swipes his palm over the tip to lubricate the rest of his dick. Honey has now turned off the vibrator and grabs the dildo. Despite its playful color, it’s a formidable size. A similar 7 inches to Anakin’s cock, she opens her mouth and the tip disappears. Then a little bit more… and a little more… until she’s gagging. She pulls it out of her mouth with a loud gasp. Messy strings of saliva fall on her chin and chest. 

“Fuck,” she breathes. “I love choking on your cock. Feeling it so deep in my throat until I can’t breathe.” 

This sends a jolt through Anakin’s whole body. His cock lurches in his hand and he knows all too well that his hand will simply not suffice tonight. He pauses Honey’s video and reluctantly gets off of bed to retrieve his Fleshlight from his hidden stash in the closet. Usually, his hand does just fine. He’s used to it by now. Being a single dad in his early forties and the CEO of his own company, he doesn’t have time to go on dates. He has one woman on his rolodex of hookup numbers and even then, he doesn’t contact her often. Usually it’s her who needs him. He prefers it that way, anyway. 

Anakin returns to his bed with the barely used Fleshlight in hand and immediately resumes the video. Honey continues to give the dildo a blowjob, making Anakin ache for it to be his cock in her mouth. He can only imagine how warm it is. How he’d make her relax so he can shove his entire length down her throat. How she’d sound choking on his dick and not some pink toy. 

Again, she holds it in her mouth until her lungs are screaming for air. Anakin ruts his hips up into his fist. He’s waiting to use the Fleshlight until she puts the toy in her cunt. 

Which is right now. She lines the tip of it to her opening, pushing the head in teasingly before removing it and dragging it along her folds. 

“Have you been good today? Do you deserve to fuck me?” The seductive nature of Honey’s voice is so familiar to Anakin, yet every time dirty talk drips from her lips, his spine tingles. 

“Please, Honey,” Anakin whispers, hovering the opening of the Fleshlight over his cock. “Put it in, baby.”

As if obeying his command, Honey pushes the toy into her hole. At the same time, Anakin lowers his own toy onto himself. The tight Fleshlight sucks in his dick and it damn near has Anakin’s eyes rolling to the back of his head. He’d forgotten what it feels like… how similar yet different it is to real pussy. Fuck, what he would do to have his cock in Honey’s actual cunt. The best he can do is use his overactive imagination. 

Honey is thrusting the dildo in and out of her and soft moans fill Anakin’s ears. He yanks the Fleshlight up and down—a lazy way of using it, he knows— but it does the job. “That’s it…” he breathes. His heartbeat is racing impossibly fast, chasing down an orgasm that is going to arrive far too soon. “I fuck you so well, don’t I, Honey?” 

“Mm…” she whimpers, pushing the toy deeper and further into her.  “Your cock’s so big… fills me up so well. Feels so good!” 

“You have no idea how good I could make you feel,” Anakin growls. In his mind she’s on her back, just as she is now. Her knees are pushed up to her ears and Anakin is thrusting into her tight hole to no end. He’s so deep, he can see himself in her stomach. He kisses her, finally tasting her on his own lips. Their tongues are doing a dance, his fingers are on her clit for maximum pleasure. And she’s screaming his name. She can’t believe how good he fucks. How he, at 42 years old, can last as long as he has. “I’m not fucking geriatric,” he’d say. He’d make her cum at least twice before he does, just to prove a point. 

Honey then takes the dildo out of her cunt and brings it back up to her mouth. Anakin removes the Fleshlight. She hollows her cheeks around it whilst reaching for the vibrator. She turns it back on and returns it to her clit. Her toes curl at the sensation and a moan is muffled by the cock in her mouth. 

“Let me hear you,” Anakin encourages, no matter how silly and pointless it is to do so. “Please, Honey. I love hearing you moan.” 

She takes the dildo out of her mouth to announce that she’s going to cum. “Oh, fuck. Fuck!” 

She’s squirming on the bed, mouth shaped in that glorious ‘O’. As her orgasm rattles through her body, she keeps the vibrator on her swollen nub and returns the dildo to her pussy. Anakin follows suit and sheathes his cock once again, thrusting his hips up to the speed Honey is fucking herself. 

“I hope you…fuck, that feels good,” she is interrupted by her own pleasure. It’s her authenticity that Anakin adores and enjoys the most. It never feels like she’s performing. “I hope you’re making yourself feel as good as I feel. Are you fucking your hand? Your mattress? A pillow? I bet you wish you were in my tight cunt. Don’t you?” 

“Yes,” Anakin breathes. He is on fire now. He’s not sure the coil in his belly could get any tighter. He’s going to cum soon and Honey hasn’t even squirted yet. There’s five minutes left of the video. “You wouldn’t believe—ah, fucking hell— wouldn’t believe how badly I want to fuck you.” 

“I’m gonna squirt! Oh my God…please cum for me. Cum while I squirt for you!” Honey removes the dildo as the clear liquid sprays from her cunt. Anakin abandons the Fleshlight and takes over with his tried and true hand. He’s pumping quickly, he’s mesmerized by Honey and how she squirts a little more each time she puts the dildo back inside of her and pulls it back out. Her back is arching off of the bed as she drops both toys and cums one last time. 

Anakin is cumming now, too. His sack twitches up toward him while he releases his load on his belly. He stuffs a fist into his mouth to silence his moan. He bites down on his own hand with fervor, and it hurts. He isn’t completely finished when he hears her utter the words ‘last video.’ 

Wait, what? 

He needs to go back. Surely, he didn’t hear her correctly. 

“I hope you all enjoyed yourselves while watching. I know I did. This is a bit of a last hurrah for me. I’m starting a new job next week and I just don’t think I’ll have the time to upload, so this might be my last video. Thank you for all of the support over the last three years. I had a great time. Kisses, HoneySuckle.” 

And that’s the end of it. Anakin is stunned. He watches her video again. And then once more. There's a lilt to her voice that makes Anakin think she is happy to be done with this. He should be happy for her. But he hangs onto the word ‘might’.  

Honey said this might be her last video. Anakin shouldn’t feel so fucking relieved that his favorite OnlyFans performer might still upload videos. What is wrong with him? He has no real connection to her whatsoever yet he feels disappointed by the idea of not having her videos in his life anymore. 

Fuck it. He sends her a $500 tip, a little message and goes to wash up. 

.

.

.

Panini is pressed against your side, purring contentedly while you stroke his back absently. You’re wrapped in a sherpa cozy in bed while watching The Great British Bake Off. It’s your bedtime show. You’ve probably seen every series at least 3 times, simply because it’s the show you put on to go to sleep. But most of the time, you end up staying up to watch it as if you’ve never seen it before. 

Your phone lights up with a notification. You glance at it but immediately do a double take. You grab your phone off of your nightstand and stare at the screen with your jaw dropped. 

Skyguy81 sent you a tip!

$500

You pause in the middle of Prue Leith giving her thoughts on someone’s Showstopper. You swipe right to open the message.

That was spectacular, Honey. From the lingerie to the beautiful way you cum. You certainly know how to put on a show. I must admit, I was a bit disappointed to hear that it might be your last video. You are the only performer I watch. I will miss you. I wish you the best of luck with your new endeavor. 

And I know what you are going to say. “It’s too much.” It is not. Please accept the tip as a token of my appreciation. You helped me feel less lonely on the days I needed someone the most. - Sky 

Why do you feel like you’re about to cry? Sky has been your top supporter since you began uploading videos during COVID. It was just supposed to be a way to make ends meet. To pay off the student loans and any other financials that came up. The tips started off relatively small. $50 here, $75 there. He was the first to give you a $100 tip. 

Then, after about a year, he upped it to $200 after each video. Your thank you messages to him turned into conversations. Short ones, never deep or personal, yet you feel like you know him. You feel like…no, it’s silly. You feel like he could be a friend. If you both weren’t hiding behind a screen and fake names, maybe you actually could be. 

You begin typing a response. 

Sky- I am going to say it anyway. THAT IS WAY TOO MUCH!!! You have been far too generous to me over the years. I don’t deserve it. 

 He replies in a matter of seconds. 

I have to disagree, Honey. I wish I could do more for you. 

Like what? 

I would take you out to a nice dinner. Perhaps share a bottle of wine while we get to know each other. 

Would you take me home after?

Whose home? 

Whichever you’d like. 

I’d take you back to your house and leave you with a goodnight kiss.

That’s all? 

You would like more? 

What the hell are you doing? Are you actually flirting with this man? He could be 60 years old and bald! Not that there’s anything wrong with being 60 or bald, but come on. You’re in your 20s. You have to have some limit. You stare at his username. Skyguy81. Maybe 81 is his birth year? So, that would put him at 42. 42 isn’t too bad… 

Oh, what the hell. It’s not like you’re actually gonna meet this guy, right? 

Well, I might wear something special underneath my dress. Something that I paid for with the money you’ve given me. Wouldn’t you want to see it? 

Yes. I would. 

What would you do if you took me home? 

When you don’t hear back from Sky after thirty minutes, you assume he fell asleep. It is nearly 1 a.m. on a Thursday night. Or is it early Friday morning? Regardless, he probably has work in the morning. 

With a rather loud yawn, you decide it’s time for you to go to sleep, too. 

.

.

.

Luke and Leia barge into Anakin’s room at 7:30, dressed and ready to go to school while their dad is still fast asleep. He must have slept through his alarm. Luke is poking him in the side and urging him to wake up. 

“Alright, I’m up,” he grumbles, scrubbing his hands down his face. “Have you two eaten?” 

Leia nods. “Eggos and orange juice.” 

“I wanted a Toaster Strudel,” Luke says. 

“And I told him we don’t have any Toaster Strudels,” replies his twin sister. 

“Yes we do! You just didn’t look hard enough.” 

Anakin pinches the bridge of his nose. He feels a headache coming on. He didn’t drink last night, so why does he feel hungover? “Ahsoka ate the last one when she was here on Tuesday, remember?” 

“Oh yeah,” Luke recalls. 

“Dad, we’re gonna be late for school if you don’t get out of bed,” Leia says. 

Anakin checks the time on his phone. Your message from last night is at the bottom of his notifications. He already has five work emails to answer. His calendar pings with reminders about meetings and his assistant’s retirement party. “Bring your things to the front door. I’ll be down in a few minutes.” 

In the rush of getting himself dressed, not only does he put on two different pairs of socks but two different pairs of shoes, too. He doesn’t realize this until after he enters the office and Dorothy, attentive as ever, points it out as he’s walking past her desk and into his office. 

Dorothy is 74 years old, a widow, and owl fanatic. She has been Anakin’s assistant since he started the company 20 years ago. “Did you get dressed in the dark, Mr. Skywalker?” 

Even after two decades of Anakin’s insistence on calling him by his first name, Dorothy continues to defy him. “I overslept,” Anakin answers. “I was rushing to get ready because you know how Leia gets when she’s late to anything.” 

Dorothy nods. “Yes, she is the most punctual 9 year old I know. I presume you did not eat breakfast.”

“No, I didn’t.” Anakin opens his emails. 

“Why don’t I get you an egg sandwich from Dexter’s after I retrieve a matching pair to one of your shoes.” 

“I didn’t ask you to do that.”

“You didn’t have to.” 

Anakin cracks a smile. Dorothy has always been two steps ahead of Anakin. She’s been somewhat of a mother figure to him over the years. She believed in him when no one else did. How many people are going to put their faith in a cocky 22 year old with wild engineering innovations? Dorothy was there when his wife passed away and nannied the twins off and on for a few years while Anakin regained his bearings. His heart contracts. He is truly going to miss her. ��Do you have to retire, Dorothy?” 

“I’m afraid so,” Dorothy replies with a bittersweet smile. “You will be just fine. And I trust my successor will attend to your needs just as well as I have. I picked her myself. I know exactly what you need in an assistant, Mr. Skywalker.” 

Did Dorothy just wink at Anakin before leaving his office? What the hell does she have up her sleeve? 

.

.

.

Gold and brown leaves dance across the concrete in the courtyard of Skywalker Enterprises. The autumn air bites at your cheeks and you’re thankful you decided to wear a beanie along with your plaid pea coat. 

You notice Dorothy’s silver hair before the rest of her as she walks toward you with two cups of something hot in her hands. “Good morning, Y/N.” she hands you the cup. 

“Good morning, Dorothy,” you reply with a smile. You lift off the lid to smell the contents. The steam tickles your nose before recognizing the warm spices of Chai. “You remembered my drink order?” 

“Of course.” Dorothy sits across from you. “I trust you went over the files I sent you regarding Mr. Skywalker? How are you feeling about the job?” 

You take a meager sip of your Chai latte. It’s still too hot to drink. “I read all of them at least three times. He doesn’t seem too high maintenance.”

“Far from it,” Dorothy replies. 

“But…” you begin, wondering if you should even mention it. 

“What is it, dear?” 

“I just find it a little strange that I haven’t met him. I would’ve assumed he’d be part of the hiring process. Isn’t it important we get along?” 

“Oh, don’t worry about that. Anakin gets along with everyone! He’s a charmer,” Dorothy sips on her drink. “He entrusted me with finding a replacement for myself because I know him better than anyone. I know his needs better than he knows them. And you, my dear, have shown you are more than capable to take over. Your references spoke very highly of you.” 

Right. Your references— one of which was your best friend who pretended to be a famous influencer who you “assisted” for 2 years after college. The other was a family you nannied for for only 2 weeks while the wife was out of town and the dad thought he could pull off some fantasy of fucking the nanny. The only good thing that came out of it was him telling you he’d give you a stellar reference for your next job. Turns out he wasn’t lying. 

“So, I’ll start on Monday? By myself? No shadowing or anything?” 

Dorothy nods. “I will officially be retired by 5 p.m. today. After which, Mr. Skywalker is yours.”

Don’t you wish. You’ve seen photos of him in Forbes. It’s an understatement to say he’s handsome. And it would be a lie to say you didn’t apply for the job because of his looks. By some miracle you were chosen out of hundreds of applicants and hired. You’ve signed the papers already. You’re officially on the Skywalker Enterprises payroll. Of course, you’ll be on probation for 90 days but Dorothy seems confident you’ll be a good fit. 

Hopefully you will live up to Anakin Skywalker’s expectations.

remember to reblog and leave comments to support authors!

◂ series masterlist ▸ chapter two

[cosmicdream222]

Welcome ✨

Call me Cosmic. she/her. Millennial.

I blog about manifesting, loa, reality shifting, the void, etc. If that isn’t your cup of tea, peace out 👽 Asks & DMs are open as long as you are kind & respectful but please read through the FAQ before asking anything!

★ About me ★

I started making aff tapes & subliminals for myself & sharing them here on tumblr in the fall of 2023, and began posting on yt in April 2024.

YouTube channel 📌Previous pinned

Void, shifting & loa stuff compiled from others

The void explained in an old reiki book

An interview with a shifter who has been time-leaping since 2001

The void explained by a lucid dreaming instructor

Near-death experience & manifesting

Misc inspiration from loa twitter

More motivation from loa twitter

Just desire, intend & know it's possible

The universe is a giant hologram

You already have it all

Master Shifter Love Remix Series

How shifting works (the whole package)

Shifting is a law - so treat it like one

Shifting is the least special thing in the world

Shifting/manifesting is not your job

You deserve everything you want

Vanilla explains: Past Lives, Death & Afterlives

Resources, Challenges & Methods

DMT breathwork to enter the void

Wake up with your dream life: affirm & relax challenge

EFT tapping script

Manifesting is not a process challenge

What is Psych-k?

The Phase Basics

SSILD for lucid dreaming

Tips for lucid dreaming

Dream life script Google doc template

My OG void concept aff tape

My Void state subs on Google drive

Full desired appearance & beauty sub

Saturating session with my cats

FAQ: Read these before sending a question!

"Can I manifest...?"

YES. It doesn't matter what it is: the answer is always yes. You can manifest anything you want. Anything!

I will no longer be answering any questions about deadlines/time

About me & my personal experiences & successes

The time I entered the void before I knew what the void was

How do you personally manifest?

Have you entered the void?

Backstory about me and this blog

A quick example on affirming to combat negative thoughts

Success: reconnected with sp after 8+ yrs NC

My mom got super fast subliminal results?!

Manifesting/shifting/void 101

What is the state of the wish fulfilled?

A reminder not to create stories around unwanted circumstances

What is the void?

How do we manifest?

States are not a method

Persisting does not mean repetition

How do I persist properly?

Does robotic affirming work?

What is a saturating session?

Is birds before land a thing?

How do I improve my visualization skills?

How can I manifest in a scientifically proven way?

Doubts/fears/troubleshooting

The void is hard for me, any tips?

How can shifting be simple when it’s so hard for me?

Is shifting real?

What happens to my current self after shifting?

When we manifest are we shifting to a new reality?

When I manifest something, will other people see it too?

How long does it take to see results?

How can I stop obsessing about results?

I’m scared I’m abandoning/betraying people in this reality when I shift/enter the void

Why do some people fail?

What am I doing wrong?

I have doubts, what if this doesn’t work?

How do I convince the logical part of myself?

How can I ignore my toxic/negative circumstances?

What should I do if I’m overthinking?

Funnies :)

The affirming carrot

Me not reacting to 3D circumstances like

[winwintea]

winwintea's super SEXY and COOL rec-list

author’s note ↬ i really need to start saving and liking half of the fics i read bc i end up not being able to find them again... a lot of these are smut (bc i am a whore sometimes) so mdni with those tagged with s!

last updated ↬ september 11th, 2024

𝐊𝐄𝐘 ↬

f — 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟

a — 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭

h — 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞/𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫 

s— 𝗌𝗆𝗎𝗍/𝗆𝖺𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖾

𝖭𝖢𝖳 𝖣𝖱𝖤𝖠𝖬

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐋𝐄𝐄 ↬

𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐱𝐢𝐞 𝐝𝐮��𝐭 by @sehunniepotwrites ↳ disneyland au | f | 11.9k words 

There are so many ways your friend group could have chosen to celebrate your graduation from university but they chose the one way that fit their childlike antics most of all–going to Disneyland. With all the screams of joy and laughter filing the atmosphere, you see why people call it The Happiest Place on Earth. It’s where magic comes alive, hearts soar to the skies, and where dreams come true. With your dream job already lined up for you once you get back from this vacation, you wonder if your last and wildest fantasy–the one that carries Mark Lee endearingly close to your heart–will take flight. (But don’t worry; your best friends, with a little help of pixie dust, are determined to make it come alive by the end of night.)

perfection like literally. i love disney. so so so much.

𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞 by @yojeongin ↳ husband au | s | 19.5k words 

all mark ever does is use weaponized incompetence to get out of small tasks you ask of him. when he finally realizes you resort to his close friends to do what he can’t— nothing can prepare him for what’s in your pandora box; now karma is set in motion.

toxic as hell... i didn't know what to think of myself after this. but it's extremely well written.

𝐠𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐨 by @hazyhae ↳ plug + stoner au | a, f, s | 14.4k words 

a high slip up cost you mark lee years ago, and you’ve spent years burying your memories of him ever since. the universe has other plans for you when your old friend starts a new career, smoking his way back into your life.

love love their work, even has a whole post dedicated to explaining weed basics 101 which i appreciate. A LOT

𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 by @spiderm444rk↳ smau | f | ongoing

you, as the promising journalism student of NCUT, were more than willing to join the school magazine when you got offered. to your disappointment, the only section they let you have is the anonymous confessions one - which is mostly really, really boring. i mean, who even posts any cool confessions nowadays ? especially in a damn college magazine ? they only offered you the job no one else wanted. on the other hand, mark, a business student, was never more annoyed with the choice of his major. sure, business is cool and hopefully it’ll earn him money, but it’s not something he could really get into. he always wanted to do music. but after long considering, he chose business instead, to make sure he gets a real job in the future. and he doubts that choice was correct more and more every day. once the school band announces they’re looking for a new guitarist, he’s absolutely ready to apply until he reads the ‘music students only’ part. pissed off, he starts typing a message to the gc, but it ends up going to a different number - and you finally get to help some poor random stranger who confessed with something interesting.

sucker for mark lee and bands 😋😋

𝐥𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐞𝐛𝐬 by @https-lvesick ↳ spiderman smau | a, f | ongoing

toronto has never been so chaotic, but things are working out since the spiders appeared to save the citizens. spiderman and silk are the city's biggest saviours and they count on them to keep them safe, even the police. but, aside from their big responsibilities, they’re just teenagers, trying to be themselves and keep their grades good, trying to have a social life and maybe a love life as successful as their superhero life. but… what’s easier to tell? that you have a crush on your best friend or that you’re a mutant superhero?

so so so so hyped for this since it started and excited for it still... a spiderman smau is just so good especially for mark <33

𝐇𝐔𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐉𝐔𝐍 ↬

𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 by @strrykais ↳ fantasy au + smau | f, a | ongoing

did you know that angels walk the earth before they get accepted into heaven, being tasked to watch over a human and complete their assignment. renjun was excited to finally have the chance to earn his wings, until he finds out his task is getting you to love life. a very depressed girl meets a very desperate boy, can they learn that maybe staying on earth isn't such a bad thing after all.

so hyped for this one actually even though it's the newest one on this list i think.

𝐨𝐧𝐞. 𝐭𝐰𝐨. 𝐭𝐞𝐧. by @zchl ↳ angsty little drabble | a | 1k words

(doesnt have a summary) renjun in the hospital, you're waiting for news.

literally broke me.

𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 by @hwanchaesong ↳ exes to lovers | a, f | 1.1k words

[part of the after hours series] Y'all bring gravity to shame because even with its constant pull of 9.81 m/s^2, it still can't put your drunken pieces back together.

the series is so good check it out. this one is my fav though, it's just honestly a scenario i've never thought about before.

𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐉𝐄𝐍𝐎 ↬

𝐢 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 by @hazyhae ↳ fwb to lovers + plug!jeno | f, a, s | 4.7k words

jeno doesn't think he's ever felt this restless in his life. maybe he's been smoking a bad batch of flower, or maybe it's the fact that you haven't knocked on his door in over a month.

oh god. jeno isn't even one of my ults or wreckers but damn this hits the spot actually?

8 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 by @nanaxwii ↳ friends to lovers | f, a, | 1.3k words

Why do all good stories come to an end? Why don’t we try to make it work? It just takes 8 letters to fix it all, or does it…?

loving this one... it's filled with tooth rotting fluff that's so cute omg... i love them.

𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐂𝐊 ↬

𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫 by @lyvhie ↳ established relationship | f | 2k words

you just want to show your boyfriend how important he is to you.

like the title it's literally so sweet... tooth-rotting fluff

𝐩𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐞 by @lqfiles ↳ smau | f | ongoing

after getting evicted out of your old place, you're left with no other choice but to look for a cheaper alternative. which is how you end up becoming neighbors with lee haechan, who has a passion for music and disturbing whatever peace and quiet there is. or in which you found yourself a very nice apartment, the only issue? your neighbor is your friend's somewhat ex-situationship who won't stop playing his guitar at 2 am in the night.

you will absolutely shit yourself reading this (in a good way dare i say?)

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐰𝐚𝐧 by @diorcities ↳ ballet au | s, h | 20.9k words

docile bodies loaded with lethal venom and betrayals are commonplace in the prestigious academy, and you happen to be their new prey when you're given the starring role with the smooth seducer with the devil's carved grin that everyone desperately desires: haechan

probably the filthiest one on this list? read the tags before reading, might be too much. it's just extremely poetic...

𝐍𝐀 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍 ↬

𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 by @polarisjisung ↳ fighter au | a, f | 2.7k words

it's routine— you patch up his wounds and watch them heal, he salts your wounds but doesn't stick around long enough to watch them grow.

i hate you for this hua (esp part 2) but i also love to drown in angst

𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭 by @markiemelon ↳ friends to lovers(?) au | f | idk lol

going over to jaem's house to crash a couple of times leads to something...

this was so sweet omg

𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐭 by @polarisjisung ↳ enemies to lovers smau | f, a | ongoing

going ovevery college student has their struggles, but raising her younger brother has Y/N top of the list, struggling her way through college whilst balancing her academics and basketball captaincy is difficult no doubt and with Jaemin, her ex best friend and captain of the guys basketball team, and his growing one sided hatred towards her, it doesn't seem to be getting any easierer to jaem's house to crash a couple of times leads to something...

unfortunately i cannot put cherry flavored, but this is just as good. check it out!!!

𝐙𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐍𝐋𝐄 ↬

𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐧 by @lowkeychenle ↳ friends to lovers(?) au | s, f, a | 9k words

Chenle is everything you want--everything you need. Somehow, the thought of him manages to pull you back in even after you were free. Messy kisses, late night trysts, and him tracing the word 'mine' on your thigh--barely anything, so how could you possibly be guilty as sin? (based on Guilty As Sin? by Taylor Swift)

fucked me over so badly.

𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭! by @wonbin-truther ↳ idol smau | f | smau

idol chenle x idol reader try to avoid dating rumors

this was SOO FUNNY

𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐢𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 by @lyvhie ↳ established relationship | s | 2.5k words

a stupid little game seems to be enough to make you speak with recklessness and throw reason out of the window in the heat of the moment. but since you were unwilling to be so easily placated, chenle was decided to talk some sense into you.

i fully choked the day i read this. had to take a breather omg 😵😵

𝐚𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐞 by @mins-fins ↳ royalty au | f, a | 22.7k words

where crown prince zhong chenle, forced into a marriage with a woman he doesn't like and riddled with complicated feelings, finds solace in the palace's very own medic, you.

actually such a sucker for royalty fics... and chenle is so prince coded

𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐝𝐮𝐭𝐲 by @aehyei ↳ parallel universe + time traveling au | f, a | 6.4k words

After a long day of stressful practice, Chenle finds himself in deep sleep on his bed and wakes up when a strange child that came from nowhere jumped on him—scaring him in the progress. To add to everything, the young idol learns that he just traveled to the future and is able to meet his future daughter. But will Chenle be able to be that great husband and father when he doesn’t even have a single clue on what’s going on?

one of my ABSOLUTE FAVORITES I HAVE EVER READ. if you're gonna read any of these read this.

𝐒𝐄𝐑Á 𝐔𝐍𝐀 𝐍𝐎𝐂𝐇𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐋𝐕𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 by @galacticseonghwa ↳ biker smau | f, a, s | ongoing

your friends were all you needed, they were your brothers from another mother they loved to say. but that all went to shit after ricky dragged you to one of his motorbike sprints. who are you to say no when ricky's opponent claws his way into your inner circle and present himself as your dream man?

really really good and underrated... i love chenle can you tell...

𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 by @chenlesfavorite ↳ motorcyclist smau | f, a | ongoing

working night shifts 24/7 at the convenience store while also supporting your boyfriend’s obsession with watching motorcyclists race is not easy, but little did you know that one of the bikers that he loves soon gets involved with you.

wdym this is ending soon... no way.... im gonna cry wtf

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐈𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆 ↬

𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐮𝐫 𝐮𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 by @aehyei ↳ high school au | f | 7.2k words

You love stories. If anyone would ask, you’d rather live in it then wake up another day in a world where everyone’s having the love story you’ve been daydreaming about. Of course falling in love with your best friend never came across your mind so it was a bit of a mess when you realized Jisung didn’t only view you as a ‘friend’. 

so so so so sos sos cute omfghsdjsah

𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐦 𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝 by @jirsungs ↳ college smau | f | completed

a story about a college student enjoying her life in school perfectly fine, until one of her friends drags the group along to watch their school's band perform. little did she know that day would be marked as the day her whole world turned upside down because of a particular, nonchalant, and difficult drummer boy. a drummer boy who spilled his entire drink on her brand new outfit at a party and never came back.

i actually binged this in a day bc it was so good

𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐝 by @babbymochiiii ↳ discord call au (if you know where this is going...) | s | ??? words

you and jisung have discord date night, where things take a turn.

sorry guys im.. a little shameless sometimes...

𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆 ↬

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐮𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡 by @jaysng ↳ friends to lovers | f | idk lol

jay and mute reader both seem to like each other, just when he thinks that his confession was a pure failure the reader does something surprising.

this was just so sweet i literally fell in love with him all over again

𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞 by @yeonzzzn ↳ zombie apocalypse au | f, h, a, s | 26.2k words

in the middle of the apocalypse, you and jay find each other in a situation of life and death, using the protection of each other to get to the next safe zone. unfortunately for the both of you, things take a turn once secrets get revealed and the fight for survival becomes greater.

probably one of my personal favorites on this list teehee. i love jay park.

𝐖𝐄𝐍 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐇𝐔𝐈 ↬

𝐩𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐡𝐨 by @wheeboo ↳ dark + psychiatric facility au | f, a, h | 12.8k words

in which a new patient is assigned for treatment under your care, and you begin to put the puzzles and pieces together to a past case that you thought to have ceased away from your mind.

literally had me gripping the edge of my seat as i read this

𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐇𝐄𝐄 ↬

𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨 by @wonbin-truther ↳ influencers smau | f, a | ongoing

sohee was a well known streamer, having grown his fanbase over covid with the game minecraft and slowly branched into other games along with sponsorships and modeling offers. he was also well known for being your number one twitter fanboy, never missing one of your posts even if fashion wasn't his greatest interest. what happens when a modeling gig brings him face to face with you?

this was a really sweet smau omfg... and sohee streamer just makes so much sense...

𝐉𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐍 ↬

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐜, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 by @sehunniepot ↳ disneyland cast member au | f, a, h | 12.8k words

in which a new patient is assigned for treatment under your care, and you begin to put the puzzles and pieces together to a past case that you thought to have ceased away from your mind.

if y'all have anything disney related send my way cause i'll literally eat it all up. JUST LIKE THIS ONE.

𝐌𝐀𝐄𝐃𝐀 𝐑𝐈𝐊𝐔 ↬

𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐝 by @slytherinshua ↳ established relationship | f | ~500 words

jealous riku over seiji from whisper of the heart

i need more riku content omfg. ALSO THIS IS PERFECT? ITS JUST A DRABBLE BUT I LOVE IT SO MUCH?

SEND ME UR FICS SO I CAN READ THEM BTW !!!! i'll try to update this as often as i can... or maybe make more depending on the amount on here, but thank you all so much for the wonderful stories <33

[fancyfade]

Objectively correct list on which Batfam members would swear

Bruce: no clue if he swears canonically or not outside of miller's all star b&r, but he should not. Look I am very opinionated on this. I do not think Bruce swears. Bruce values control over his own mind so much you know he would not want to do things that would make him look as if he is not in control of himself, even when he is not in control of himself. However, I do imagine that teenage bruce swore, as when Damian cusses Alfred out Alfred is like "Ah, memories" or something. Bruce was an angry teenager.

Damian: Canonically swears and would swear. him meeting the batfam by cussing out alfred is iconic i will not hear a word against it. he can be mean to people without swearing, too, of course. he just has a lot of tools in his arsenal.

babs: look, does Barbara canonically gamer-rage? Not really*. but she deserves it let her swear in anger when people are doing stupid stuff.

dick: I don't think dick is opposed to swearing on principal, but I don't think we have a lot of panels of him doing it in proportion to how long he has been in comics and not done it. I imagine it being more of in the "What the fuck" instances like when something weird or unexpected happens (and only when he's an adult or teenager, b/c as younger robin he was doing the 60s exclamations or whatever that everyone did)

stephanie brown: like dick I don't imagine her being opposed to swearing but I don't see her doing it a ton. I see her doing it more often in anger, since she's got quite a lot of anger locked up pre-Batgirl 2009 and possibly still in batgirl 2009

cass: cass isn't opposed to swearing, but given her propensity for mimicking the speech she sees around her in batgirl 2000, I don't think she'd do it a ton until she sees it on the videos she watches to figure out how 'normal people' talk. then she does do it, though I imagine it's less in anger and more just casually, since i headcanon that cass gets less verbal the more overwhelmed emotionally she is (which... IIRC is supported by canon? She stopped talking at some point in batgirl 2000 when she was on the outs with Bruce if I recall, it's been a bit since i did a read through)

duke: duke is another character I don't see as opposed to swearing, but I don't think he does it out loud on account of his mom clearly not liking it (at least he doesn't do it around his mom, or didn't back before she got joker-ified XD). he does in his internal monologue though sometimes

Tim: Tim canonically censors his own internal monologue IIRC in Robin 1993 you know he does not swear. possibly inspired by whatever cheesy 50s/60s exclamations his icon dick grayson made when he was robin.

*We do see her yelling and saying things she'd regret over comms, but also saying things you regret is like batfam 101 if you don't do it they kick you out.

[motherlvr]

I just found your blog but I love your fics omg. I don’t know if you’ve received a request like this, so forgive me if you have. But do you think you could do a sickfic with the reader taking care of Miles?

i havent gotten this req yet, tysm for requesting!

--------

wc: 1k

Pairing: Earth-42! Miles Morales x f! reader (could possibly be read for 1610! Miles as well)

Summary: Miles has been acting off, so you decide to pay him a visit.

Warnings: established relationship, sick fic, cursing, fluff

----------

Staring at your phone's messages, you awaited a response from Miles. But he hasn't been responding to you all afternoon. He never does that. So, it's only natural that this raised suspicion within you.

Miles made the mistake of granting you a spare key to his dorm a while ago. Since you lived on the same campus, you decided to pay him a little visit. It's not like this was the first time you've shown up unannounced, anyway.

Walking down the hallways of your school, you successfully found his dorm. You knocked on his door, "Miles, it's me. I'm coming in." Putting in the key to his door, you unlocked it. Miles was seemingly unfazed as he stood in front of you. "Hola, princesa. ¿Qué tal?" (what’s up?) He said with nonchalance.

But there were a couple of indications that made you realize what his deal was. For one, he didn't greet you with a kiss. Matter of fact, he was standing a few feet further from you than usual. Even before you started dating, Miles would always leave a small kiss on your forehead or temple. And secondly, there were dark circles on his under-eyes that don't usually adorn his face. He was still indubitably charming, however. There was no denying that.

You raised an accusatory eyebrow at him, and he immediately knew you saw straight through him. "You're sick. Aren't you, Miles?"

He almost rolled his eyes at how well you could read him. "I'm fine. It's nothin', ma." He shrugged, but his voice was laced with a subtle rasp. Still enough for you to pick up on, however.

"C'mon, even big tough douches get sick sometimes." You hit him lightly on the chest and grinned at him. Entering his dorm, you asked him, "Have you even eaten anything?" He brushed off your question. Instead, he said,

"You're lookin' pretty-" trying to change the subject, but you cut him off. "Good try, Miles. Wait here, I'll be back!" You promptly ran out the door, Miles stood there dumbfounded.

Within less than ten minutes, you returned to his dorm as promised. With a whole bundle of supplies. "Alright babe, sit." You grabbed him by his arm and sat him on his bed. "Estoy bien, mami. Really. You don't gotta do all this." He told you. But you didn't buy it. Holding up the back of your hand to his forehead, you winced. "Miles, you're burning hot. Temperature-wise." You winked at him.

Unpacking all the supplies you brought, you gave him medicine to take. "This stuff is magic, it'll help you feel better in no time." You said as you handed him the bottle. Glancing at the bottle in skepticism, he told you, “I ain't that sick.” His voice came out atypically groggy.

Much to his dismay, you whipped out a thermometer and put it in his mouth. He didn't even see where it came from. Within a few seconds, it read an unusually high temperature. As you suspected. Putting your hands on your hips, you told him, "Miles. You’re 101 degrees. Take the damn medicine or else I'll feed it to you."

Miles always put on a front. A facade that he didn't need anyone, a 'tough guy' front. But you knew better.

He finally gave in and took the medicine, your eyes trailing to his adam's apple that bobbed as he downed it. Shaking off your wandering gaze, you handed him a bowl and told him, "I brought you some soup as well." Staring up at you, he accepted it. He looked at you with adoration in his eyes. As long as you were here with him, he'd look forward to waking up in the morning.

A few moments passed by and he said, “...Gracias, mami.” “Of course, Miles.” You replied, gently placing a kiss on his forehead. He backed away slightly and concernedly said, "You're going to get sick, ma."

"It'd be worth it." You carelessly grinned at him, and he was sure you could singlehandedly cure him with your smile.

The sun was already starting to set, so you decided to stay at his dorm for the night to make sure he was taking care of himself. Behind closed doors, there was no doubt in his mind that he'd stand outside in the cold rain for hours if it meant you'd stay here with him.

The next morning, you somehow ended up with his arms wrapped around your waist, your back snuggled against his torso. At least you attempted to keep a safe distance the night before. Can't say you didn't try. Stirring awake, you noticed Miles was already up.

But unbeknownst to you, he's been up longer than you'd think, silently listening to the soothing thump of your heart. Glancing up at him, he pressed his lips to your temple.

"¿Cómo te sientes?" (how do you feel?) He said, the rasp in his voice almost undetectable. You let out a small chuckle at the irony, "I feel like I should be asking you that." You replied. Waking up from your trance, you remembered that it was a school day. Looking for your phone, you asked him frantically,

"What time is it? We're going to be late for class, Miles." He shook off your fears, reassuring you. "Cálmate, princesa. We got time."

Letting out a sigh of relief, you relished in his embrace, not wanting to ruin this rare moment of quietude. Maybe you should've been more careful around him, but how could you when he was holding you like this?

It was almost a perfect way to wake up in the morning. You silently hoped you could stay like this a while longer with him. And little did you know that your wish would be granted. Just not in the way you initially hoped.

An abrupt sneeze interrupted the comfortable silence that fell between the two of you. You slapped your face with your hand. Groaning at how warm it felt, you exclaimed,

"Oh, fuck."

Needless to say, both of you were in this together. Whether you liked it or not.

----------

estoy bien - i'm good

cálmate - calm down

princesa - princess

gracias - thank you

[sirensplayhouse]

REVISION 101

now as we’re all aware revision has become quite the popular topic in the loass community as of late. for why ? I have no idea, but just like everything else y’all are confusing the everlasting hell out of it and each other. so sit back and relax because class is back in session with your favorite sirengodmother 🤝🏾

re·vi·sion (/rəˈviZH(ə)n/)

noun

the act of revising; the act of changing or correcting something, or the thing that has been changed or corrected

y’all know how if you bombed a test or assignment you’d be given the chance to revise it after school or sumn ? yea 🤝🏾

“Changing your life means changing the past. The causes of any present evil are the unrevised scenes of the past.” - Neville Goddard excerpt from ‘The Law and the Promise’

y’all seem to have this deep rooted belief that revision is anything but natural when in fact it is completely 100% natural. when you revise your going back into your imagination and rewriting how you want things to be.

y’all also seem to believe that manifesting presently and revising are on two different levels, and I’m here to tell you it’s not✋🏾

ok so siren since you’re saying all of this and it’s going in one ear and out the other , how do I revise ?

well glad you asked🤭revising is no different than manifesting in the present. (nie reread that until it’s engraved 🙂) the same way you’d affirm/visualize or do whatever that helps you manifest you can do it to revise. remember it all starts within you, in your wonderful human imagination

the past is never and will never be set in stone you can literally revise whatever you see fit.

success stories you might not think have anything to do with revision but they do

• diploma

• revision success stories

• revised parents

• revised never having an infection

• revised exams

• eye color change

•job

• appearance

• body change

• revised the date

• revised a death / another one

• parents

• another razzle dazzle

now there are some success stories missing I know someone asked me to tag revising a birthday and that’s somewhere on my page deep in the archives🧍🏾‍♀️

ok so you wanna revise/manifest your dream life ? lol what’s stopping you then ? revising that you’ve always lived your dream life is nothing hard. however you choose to manifest whether it’s through affirming, visualizing, scripting, etc, doesn’t matter.

if you’re using affs affirm in the past tense “ I have been living my dream life (for however long)”, “I manifested my dream life (so and so long ago)” , “ I have always had my db/df (or whatever your manifesting / revising”

if you’re visualizing then visualize a scene in where the past has been rewritten to what you want it to be. Neville in ‘The Law and the Promise’ spoke of a woman who revised a life long back injury that she had endured, simply by visualizing herself back in the past and revising the events that caused her injury.

“To revise the past is to re-construct it with new content. Man should daily relive the day as he wished he had lived it, revising the scenes to make them conform to his ideals. For instance, suppose today's mail brought disappointing news. Revise the letter. Mentally rewrite it and make it conform to the news you wish you had received. Then, in imagination, read the revised letter over and over again and this will arouse the feeling of naturalness; and imaginal acts become facts as soon as we feel natural in the act. This is the essence of revision and revision results in repeal.” - Neville Goddard

when you’re revising something you’ll have all the memories of it and the experience. for example I revised always having my back dimples pierced, and when I woke up the next morning I saw them. I had all the memories of going to get them done and I remembered how it felt to get them done.

some anon knowledge for y’all

also for the girlies that want to manifest always living (ie; revising😑) their dream life and manifest never manifesting it ? pleaseeeee 😭yes it’s possible but like I said that’s literally revision

now that we got all of that cleared😮‍💨I sincerely hope (and I’m manifesting strongly) that everyone who was confused about revision or had reserves about it completely understood /understands everything I’ve written here. because idk how many more revision questions I can take🫠

[ram018]

Analysis on the closet scene | Ep. 101 - Nevermore.

I find this scene to be very meaningful. Not just on a superficial level, but also on a deep and symbolic one.

In this analysis ramble, I'll try to give my perspective on some of the elements and symbols I find interesting regarding how this scene is written. Particularly, when narrating the conflict Annabel Lee is facing in this situation.

Sorry for any mistakes! English is not my first language. Now, let's start!

1 | About Annabel Lee.

Annabel Lee is one of the most, if not the most, multifaceted character in this comic.

She hides herself constantly, to the point where we barely see her true self showing unless when she's with Lenore... or when she's alone. But around everybody else, she shows herself masked only – the mask of someone who pretends to be strong and tenacious, while actually trying to hide the fragile and sensitive human being behind it.

In order to hold this mask and keep the truth for herself –to prevent people from interfering with her plan and to protect both herself and Lenore– she's capable of doing absolutely anything. From putting Duke behind a wall to whatever it takes to achieve her goal.

Remember these panels? They're from Ep. 97! In these, Annabel Lee is being called mad and referred to as a monster by the person she loves the most, Lenore.

She bet her morality and her bonds with people on the price of protecting Lenore and escaping from Nevermore together, even if it meant getting her hands dirty... But she went so far with it that even Lenore, who knows her best, thinks she's a monster.

Her worst fear now comes true. It hits her in the deepest part of herself, reliving her most vulnerable and sensitive side, and reminding her that she's alone. Her mask, suddenly, breaks apart.

2 | About the closet.

Annabel hides herself in a corner of closet.

She hides herself away, with no one noticing at first, and cries alone, concealing her vulnerability and keeping it from everybody else's sight.

Given this, we could take the closet as a metaphor of Annabel Lee's inner world – her true self, everything she keeps hidden, alongside her secret with Lenore that is now burdening her.

She cries alone, among all the clothing that is inside. We could think this as if she was surrounded by all her costumes, her masks. However, she's not wearing a mask now – It's her true self, being vulnerable behind closed doors.

The closet inside is dirty, untidy, dusty, filthy. Even Prospero, in Ep. 102, said it himself: "I shudder to think how long it's been since someone last swept out this closet". Maybe, this could be a metaphor of how unkept and disorganized Annabel's inner world is, due to having to pretend all the time to be someone she's not... As if her true self had been trapped behind those doors for ages and was finally found out purely by accident.

3 | About Prospero.

In this chapter, we see a Prospero that, aside from the teamwork aspect, actually cares about Annabel Lee. Maybe not in such a deeper level -since they don't know each other that well in this part of the comic- but he does. This makes a contrast with Annabel's loneliness, since there's someone who worries about her at some level. She's not completely alone.

Prospero approaches the door cautiously, thoughtfully, probably wondering what could be making that noise inside – it could be a rat as well as it could be some kind of monster.

However, it's neither a rat nor a monster he finds, but...

...just Annabel Lee, in her most authentic self, finally allowing herself to be human.

Thank you for reading!

And sorry for the long post lol, I've been keeping this for months now and I just couldn't hold myself anymore haha.

I thought I had to comment on this since more than just being a scene of Prospero finding Annabel in a closet, it's about meeting and understanding for the first time the other's inner world – and the comic has both an interesting and beautiful take on this.

This is my first Tumblr post too, so I hope it was good! Now I'll come back to my cave to overanalyze any other scene of the comic back again lol.

See you around!

[zenkindoflove]

Fandom Shipping Terminology 101: ACOTAR edition

Hi! So I decided to put a little resource together for the ACOTAR fandom. Since many people join the SJM/ACOTAR fandom and have never been in fandom before, they encounter a lot of fandom terminology that they are not quite sure what it means or have seen others use it incorrectly so they get a false impression of the meaning of the word. So I put this together, including examples from the fandom, so that people can use it as a reference to learn more about what these terms mean and when they're appropriate to use. This list is focused on words related to shipping.

Tldr definitions (note: these are definitions that I wrote based on my own experiences/research on fanlore. These are always up for interpretation and meaning and nuance change over time and depend on fandom context)

Canon ship - a relationship where the characters have romantic interactions in canon

Fanon ship - a relationship where in canon the characters are platonic but the fandom has accepted as a ship with romantic undertones, canonical potential, or has become so popular within a fandom it's has surpassed the need/desire for canon

Crackship - a pairing of two characters where the idea of them together is strange or funny depending on the circumstances. Often in these ships, the characters have little or even no interactions in canon

Rare pair - agnostic to fanon or canon status. A rare pair simply means the fandom does not make a lot of fan content for it.

End-game - This is a canon ship that is together by the end of a series.

Slash ship - Fanon ships that feature queer relationships. M/M usually takes on the term slash and F/F has the term femslash.

OTP - Stands for One True Pair. This is a ship that a shipper considers to be the most important one that they love in a fandom.

NOTP - anti-OTP, or a ship that a shipper detests/is squicked out by

Multishipping - the act of shipping a character with multiple other characters.

For more context and thorough examples read more under the cut 

First, what the heck is a ship?

The origins of shipping and becoming obsessed with fictional relationships predate our modern understanding of fandom. Modern fandom roots can be traced as early as Star Trek: The Original Series. But the terminology of calling a couple you like a ship or the act of obsessing over fictional (and sometimes non fictional) couples "shipping" has its origins in the X-Files fandom. While ACOTAR is a romance, many fandoms do not have romance as a central element of its plot, and yet, shippers find a way. That's exactly what happened for the fans of Mulder/Scully. Those who wanted them to be in a romantic relationship were called "relationshippers" which then got shortened to "shippers". The verb "to ship" would appear later from this origin.

The way to think about "what is a ship" though is really based on do people think up romantic scenarios with these two characters? If yes, then you have a ship. And in ACOTAR, oh baby, are there MANY, MANY SHIPS.

Canon vs. Fanon ships

Where does a canon ship end and a fanon one begin? Now that, my friends, is not as clear cut as you might think.

I think this discussion is very important for the ACOTAR fandom because of the state of the ship war currently. Often, there is back and forth about which ship is canon or fanon (and *eye twitch* people throwing around crackship as a derogatory term to de-legitimize a ship which makes me wanna punch shit).

I'm gonna burst everyone's bubbles and say, I personally think Elriel, Elucien, and Gwynriel are all CANON ships.

Why? Well, that's the part that is up for interpretations my friends. What is deemed canonical romantic interactions? That is where a lot of lines can become blurry and if you have ever shipped a fanon ship before - you KNOW what I mean by that. Is it a charged glance? A caress of a hand that lingered too long? Is it a shared kiss? Or do the characters have to explicitly declare "I'm yours and you're mine"?

I've shipped a lot of kinds of ships. Canon. Fanon. Canon that had its end-game blown up. You name it, I've shipped it. And to me, a canon ship is anytime the writer of the canon is putting characters in a romantic situation, regardless if they end up together or not by the end of the series. If they wanted you to feel butterflies and think "could they?", and you felt butterflies, well my friends, you're responding to canon romance. And we've seen evidence of all three ships having those moments.

But, what does that mean for fanon ships? I have shipped a fanon couple where I got butterflies from their canonical scenes together. I've read into their moments and thought "wow, that was romantically charged". I think this is where the lines of canon and fanon are blurred. Because what this comes down to is, did the author intend this? Or am I seeing more into an interaction because I like it? Most fanon ships do hinge a lot of their interest in said ship because of what happens in canon. But, often times, the authors of said content are not necessarily wanting you to take away from their writing that these two characters are interested in each other romantically. You just can't help it. You see it. You see the potential, and you want it to go there so you see more of it the more you look.

Sometimes fanon ships are very clear that the canon is not even hinting at these two characters together romantically. And that is perfectly fine. To me, a fanon ship is a ship that has become so ingrained in the fandom community that the fandom thinks of these two together romantically. That it doesn't really matter anymore what the canon says or doesn't. The fandom has created this relationship and it lives and breathes within what the fandom builds for it. Azris is a perfect example of a fanon ship in ACOTAR. The canon interactions between Azriel and Eris are sparse and platonic in nature, yet the fandom itself has created a whole fanon around them with a large enough community that as soon as you enter the ACOTAR fandom, you immediately know this ship exists.

Rare pairs and Crackships

These two terms are often used interchangeably as if they are synonyms. Now, a rare pair can be a crackship but not all rare ships are crackships and vice versa.

Generally, a rare pair is devoid of canon or fanon connotations. A rare pair is a ship that receives little attention from fans and has few associated fanworks. So, a rare pair could be a fanon couple that few people think about romantically. For example, Emerie and Gwyn have a lot of interactions in canon. I would not think shipping them together to be a crackship because I mean, they're friends, they like each other, they read smut together. There are a lot of scenarios one could imagine them falling in love. But they have a whopping 12 fanfics under their tag in AO3. Therefore, they are a rare pair but not necessarily a crackship.

A rare pair can also be a canon ship. For example, Thesan and his unnamed lover are canon. However, when you look up their relationship tag on AO3, there are 23 works and most do not appear to be focused on them.

I also have seen people use rare pair for very popular ships (like Azris) when they mean fanon. Again, rare pair is really an indication of "how much fan content can you find for this" not necessarily are they canon.

Crackships really were birthed from the intention of putting two characters together "4 da lulz" to bring back early 2000s internet lingo. Crack shipping is usually a pairing that the idea of them together is a little absurd but also fun. Beron/Tamlin is a quintessential crackship example, especially why it came to be (but we will avoid getting into all the origins of that). There is no real reason to think Beron or Tamlin would ever have a romantic interaction and thinking about it makes you laugh. Crackships can sometimes turn into fanon ships. This is another example where the lines do get blurry. But really, crackshipping is about intention and the use of absurdism within fan creation.

I also want to say, often what I see in the Elucien v. Elriel and Elriel v. Gwynriel ships wars is the use of crackship in a derogatory way, and thinking that if one of these ships does not become end-game, therefore, it proves the other was a crackship. Simply put - no. That's not how it works.

End-game

Related to the above point, I think often where the ACOTAR ship wars really derail themselves, is conflating fanon/canon/endgame with each other. I don't see people often using the term end-game, when really, it would help so much with the judgmental and strange ship policing that this fandom loves to do. Specifically, this fandom has a hard time talking about the value within shipping fanon, or shipping the blurriness between fanon and canon for any characters that do not have end-game potential. ACOTAR is not a complete series. Therefore, in a strict definition, no couples are end-game. However, given the genre, there are several couples who are clearly going to be end-game. And really, what I think the ship war community needs in their discourse, is to start using the term end-game when they want to discuss the outcome of Elucien, Elriel, or Gwynriel having a canonical Happily Ever After. The reason being is that you can use end-game, and not insult another ship. End-game is simply a fact. There is no hierarchy involved in what ship is best or not. Because ships can be beloved whether they're canon or fanon or canon who did not end up together. And they all can have very valid reasons why people ship them despite not achieving end-game.

I also urge the ACOTAR fandom to realize that end-game is not the end of YOUR experience of your ship. Your ship lives on despite what the canon may or may not give you. Even if you ship a canon ship that does not achieve end-game, you can create those fanon end-games for yourself. Many popular ships end up being popular because of the effect of that ship not achieving end-game. And while I am using the prime-ship war as examples within this post, I've seen other microshipwars popping up within the fandom as well. So, I'm not trying to pick on this specific set of conflicts, it's just the one I see most prominently.

OTP vs NOTP

I think the ACOTAR fandom could also really benefit from adopting this terminology.

The point of declaring OTPs and NOTPs is a way for you to signal to others in your fandom, "This is how much I care about this ship. Whether I love it it or hate it. Tread carefully". These terms are not meant to say one ship is better than the other from a moral standpoint. Instead, it's to indicate to others that you have a strong preference. You're going to love your OTPs regardless of what arguments others throw at you to convince you to not love them. You will probably be very annoyed by your NOTPs regardless of what others try to do to convince you that they're actually cute/sexy/hot/perfect for each other. And what the ACOTAR fandom could benefit from, from readopting OTP/NOTP language, is having a common understanding where different shipping communities boundaries are and how they can better utilize those boundaries to prevent constant fighting. Now, ship wars are inevitable because of how people see their OTPs and NOTPs, but general rule of thumb is - don't engage with your NOTP's content for your own mental sanity.

Multishipping

Multishipping can be used in many ways. Some people use it to say, hey I'm in this fandom, and I ship a lot of couples. But the origins of multishipping as a term, comes from ship war discourse in other fandoms. Multishippers generally are people who ship one character with multiple other characters. For example, if you ship Elain/Lucien, Elain/Azriel, Elain/Gwyn, Elain/Tamlin, etc etc etc, you are a multishipper. I generally would not consider someone a multishipper if all of their ships do not cross streams. It just sort of means that you ship a lot of couples. Which tends to be normal for romance series with a lot of couples. Maybe not a single of those couples is your true OTP, and that's what you mean by saying you're a multishipper. And that's okay. I think though that multishipping generally in other fan spaces is a marker of you telling others that you don't draw harsh lines with who you see characters with. I often see multishippers not declaring NOTPs. It's kind of a state of how you go about shipping often. I, for one, identify as an OTP shipper. I've never really multishipped. But I also have a very strict standard of what I call my "ships". Anyways, this is to say, this term has a lot of uses. And sometimes it can be confusing which of these uses a person means when they say it.

Slash shipping 

I've seen over the years that slash as a terminology has fallen out of favor. In the past, slash shipping was the pinnacle of shipping in fandoms. The term slash comes from the first modern fanon ship, Kirk/Spock, where the / between their names, which we now all know and use to indicate a romantic pairing (note: & is used to indicate a platonic interaction between characters), exists because the Kirk/Spock shipping community really were the originators of shipping communities creating fan content and sharing it in with each other in a massive way. In general slash (and femslash) is an important modifier of shipping because it explicitly tells you that this is a queer ship which often were not mainstream and considered canon until more recently. With the rise of canonical queer ships, I think the subversiveness of shipping queer couples has lost it's edge, therefore slash is not needed as much anymore to directly state the nature of your ship.

I wanted to keep this in the post though, because I think it's incredibly important history for ALL ACOTAR fans to understand. Shipping queer couples, and especially shipping FANON queer couples, has always been the backbone of fandom. Kirk/Spock walked so Destiel could fly. These are all queer ships that have strong fanon roots (and that fanon has had impacts on their canon) and have shaped fandom and your concept of shipping and romance tropes in inextricable ways. You don't have / without Kirk/Spock. You don't have Omegaverse, without gay shipping within the Supernatural fandom. And I wanted to make this point because this fandom has a strong het (heterosexual) ship bias. Which is okay. It's a romance series with a lot of heterosexual canon couples. But, I think because of that, many people are not entering this fandom with an understanding that people shipping queer fanon couples have been the ones who were the originators of many fandom terms that we have come to know and use today.

Conclusion:

I hope you all found this informative and that you can take away something from this post that can help you have better interactions and ability to communicate with others in this fandom. Again, I want to stress, that this is heavily influenced by my own 25 years of experience being in fandoms. And I haven't seen it all. Others will have different interpretations of these terms and experiences using these terms. So, feel free to add on anything that you think would be helpful to those in the ACOTAR community to better understand how to "ship and let ship". I do think that ship war are inevitable and not necessarily a bad thing. But using the right terms can help you engage in a more respectful way within ship war discourse.

[gingiesworld]

I’ll Be Home For Christmas

Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader

Warnings: Angst. Fluff.

Taglist : @natashamaximoff-69 @canvascoloredin @wizardofstories @louxbloom @wandanats-goodgirl @the-ox-fan20 @ladyqueenxoxo @aemilia19 @wandaromamoff69 @mfd-101 @dorabledewdroop @marvelogic @dopeyouth @karsonromanoff @bimad @lizzieislife94x (If you want to be added to my taglist, please DM me or comment)

18+ MINORS DNI

Almost six months ago, Y/N was placed on an undercover mission, along with Maria and Sam. The three of them being the least recognisable and without enhanced abilities. Although since the twins had become a part of the team, Wanda had become attached to Y/N, especially with them being the main one to welcome them into the tower.

The moment Wanda walked into their room as they packed their bag ready for the mission, she looked saddened by Y/N leaving.

“How long will you be gone?” She asked as she sat on their bed.

“It will only be six months, Wan.” They told her softly as they zipped their bag. “Besides, I will have Maria and Sam to keep me company.”

“But it’s an undercover mission.” She pointed out as Y/N nodded.

“It’s just to get as much intel as we can on this gang who we believe has ties with Hydra.” They told her.

“But you could get hurt.” She whispered as they took her hand in theirs.

“I will be fine.” They told her. “Besides, I’ll be home for christmas.”

“But that’s still six months away.” She whined as Y/N smiled. “Who is supposed to keep me company until then?”

“You have Pietro, Clint and Nat.” They reminded her.

“But they are not you.” She told them, soon watching as they took off their pendant they wore around their neck, moving to put it on Wanda. “No, you never take this off.”

“Well, I don’t want to risk losing it while I’m on a mission.” They told her. “And I know there's no safer place for it than with you.”

“Y/N.” She whispered as Y/N gave her a smile.

“Just dream of me whenever you miss me.” They told her with a cheesy smirk making her laugh. “But seriously, this mission will fly by.”

“Ok.” She whispered before pulling them in for a tight embrace, making the most of their warmth before they left.

That was exactly six months ago, so Wanda just like every morning was awake at 3am and pacing the living room. Today would have marked the day that Y/N should be coming home.

“Wanda?” Pietro mumbled sleepily as he entered the living room. “What’s wrong?”

“They should be home today.” She told him frantically. “What if they don’t come home today?”

“They might come home tomorrow or later on in the week.” He shrugged as he moved to enter the kitchen.

“But what if they are injured? We would have been told right?” She pressed as she followed him.

“We would have been notified if there was a complication on the mission.” Steve answered from his stool as he read the paper, making the twins jump. “But we haven’t heard a peep from Fury who has been getting the updates every week for the last 6 months.”

“But.” Wanda tried as Steve stood up, giving her a reassuring smile.

“They will be home Wanda.” He reassured her. “And then you can maybe tell them how you feel.”

“It’s useless.” Y/N groaned as they tried to repair the jet. “I promised Wanda I would be home for Christmas and well,it is Christmas Eve eve.”

“There’s no such thing.” Sam chuckled as he handed them a wrench.

“There is such a thing.” Y/N argued as they tried to tighten the screw on the loose part. “I promised her and I won't break my promises.”

“You won’t break it.” Maria told them as she handed Sam a bottle of water. “I’ll make sure of it.”

“In case you haven’t noticed Hill, we are stranded.” They said as they moved out from their position. “We had crashed in the middle of this forest and I am trying to repair this damn jet because I am the only one out of the three of us who has an inkling of an idea on mechanics!”

“Sam, please try and fix the radio. We may need immediate extraction.” Maria ordered as Sam just nodded, heading inside the jet as Y/N sat up. “Look, I know that this is all too much right now and I need you to focus. I know that you shouldn’t be using your shoulder since I had just popped it back in place.”

“We needed to get back in the air.” Y/N told her as she put the sling back on them.

“I know Y/N but any further injury could result in an even worse injury.” She told them firmly. “And I am sure that Wanda is going to have Sam’s head anyway.”

“Well, we know she looks up to you and Nat.” Y/N pointed out making Maria chuckle. “I promised her though.”

“She will understand if you’re a little late.” Maria said as she opened the bottle of water for them.

“Fury is sending out a chopper to our location.” Sam informed them as Maria smiled at Y/N before turning back to him.

“Did he say how long?” She asked him.

“He said 2 hours at the most.” He informed the two.

“So now we wait.” Y/N mumbled as they threw the empty bottle at the jet.

Christmas Eve rolled around and Wanda’s worry only escalated. Especially with Christmas being right on top of them. Pietro found it amusing seeing her fret over Y/N, although she was too much of a coward to tell them how she felt.

Although, no one knew that Nat and Steve had been called away in the middle of the night by Fury. Only knowing that it’s an extraction.

“Fuck.” Nat groaned as the two noticed the SHIELD Jet grounded. “I can’t believe they crashed the jet.”

“What?” Steve asked her.

“I taught Y/N how to fly and they crashed.” She smirked as he just shook his head. Soon the sound of the chopper had caught the attention of the three of them.

“Are you ok?” Steve asked the three of them as they approached the chopper.

“Yeah.” Y/N nodded as both Maria and Sam looked at them with a questioning glare. “Ok, then maybe not.”

“You look like shit Y/N/N.” Nat teased as she watched Sam help them walk.

“I think I look pretty great for surviving that crash.” They smiled, making Nat laugh.

“Come on, your girl is waiting for you.” Nat told them as they all got in the chopper.

“You’re going to need the med bay as soon as we land Y/N.” Steve stated as he checked them over.

“Seriously? Can’t I just shower and watch movies with Wanda.” They whined as Steve shook his head no.

“We need to know the extent of your injuries, the other two will be going too.” He told them.

Once Wanda had caught the news that they were heading to the med bay as soon as they landed, she wasted no time in running through the compound. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest as she thought of the worst case scenarios.

“Y/N/N?” She breathed out a sigh of relief when she spotted them, getting treated by Helen.

“Wanda, hey.” They greeted her as she entered the room. “I can promise it wasn’t the mission, we kind of crashed.”

“You did! You crashed!” Sam yelled as he was getting treated by Bruce.

“Shut up Wilson!” Y/N called back. “But I am fine.”

“No.” Helen interrupted them. “They have a dislocated shoulder, a couple broken ribs and multiple lacerations, so I think they are far from fine.” She informed Wanda. “They may need help with simple tasks for a few weeks, but the adrenaline hasn’t worn off yet so they aren't feeling the pain just yet.”

“Can I please go?” Y/N asked as Helen just nodded, handing some painkillers to Wanda.

“Please be sure they take two every four hours, and they aren’t allowed alcohol while taking them.” She told her as Wanda just nodded.

“Come on Y/N/N.” Wanda helped them up, leading them to their room.

“Have you been sleeping in here?” They asked her as she looked away, blushing lightly as she closed the door behind them.

“I missed you, ok.” She told them, deciding now would be a better time than any to tell them. “The last six months have been the hardest in my life because I never had my person here with me.” They looked at her confused as she spoke. “I am in love with you Y/N, I am so fucking in love with you and I don’t think I can hide it away from you anymore.” She watched as their smile grew before they reached up to caress her cheek with their good hand.

“You have no idea how in love with you I am Wanda.” They told her. “I wanted to get home to you as fast as I could, because I promised you I would be home for Christmas and I never want to break any promise I make to you.” She let out a shaky breath as she gripped their shirt, leaning up to capture their lips in a soft and gentle kiss, being as gentle as she could so she didn’t aggravate their injuries.

“So?” A blur gushed through the door, causing the two to break apart. “You were right.” Pietro spoke to Nat as the two were sitting on the edge of Y/N’s bed.

“I’m always right.” Nat smirked as both Y/N and Wanda turned to face them.

“Do you mind?” Wanda questioned as she looked at her twin. “We are entitled to a little privacy.”

“Yeah, but a little privacy can turn into a bundle of joy come september.” Pietro teased.

“You do realise, not everyone has sex as soon as they share their first kiss.” Y/N scolded him as Wanda blushed. “Besides, I need to take her out on a date first.”

“Just how I raised you.” Nat teased as she patted Y/N’s head.

“Shut up Natalia.” They grumbled as they pushed the two out of their room, the two laughing as Y/N locked the door. “So?”

“So.” Wanda smiled as she stared into Y/N’s eyes. “You should shower.”

“I should, and then we should cuddle.” Y/N told her.

“And watch a movie.” Wanda finished as Y/N nodded, giving her another kiss, thankful for locking the door as they kissed for a while longer than before.

[zeravmeta]

The Value of Rules, The Heart, The Soul, and The End of the World

So as we're entering the final arc of the series i wanna make my own theory on how things will shake out, specifically one question:

What is the Heart?

The final artifact that Luna put in place capable of harming Sol, the Heart is the third Sacred Spirit Treasure alongside Rebellion and Aegis which was never found in any of the past loops and something Fuuko theorizes only drops in the 101st loop.

But now in the final battle, it's still nowhere to be seen. We've seen the other two Sacred Spirit Treasures, but despite being weapons that Luna herself made that are capable of slaying Sol, we've also seen throughout the manga that the game was HEAVILY rigged against humanity with their actual effectiveness in Loop 100 showing them to be kind of weak compared to Sol himself. Loop 101 Union maybe has two of the three already, and yet despite the promise of the Heart dropping through quests, we have long skipped past that opportunity, so now we need to determine how the Heart will come into play.

So, here's what I think: I think the Heart is Apocalypse, or rather the completed form of Apocalypse.

(books are heart shaped lol)

Since I started reading, Apocalypse has always had this weird role in the story to me: It's an Artifact placed by God to add more UMAs and help along the end of the world, but it specifically gives quests for the Negators to complete and gain more advantages for when Ragnarok comes. Moreover, they make sure to specify that Apocalypse is an Artifact instead of an UMA, even though it seems to act so much like the latter. There's even the joke in one of the end pages of Clothy and Apocalypse fighting like small dogs held back by their owners, and one of the only other Artifacts we see with sentience is Rebellion, one of the Sacred Spirit Treasures.

So what's the deal here? If Apocalypse is the Heart, how is it that it was never discovered, how is it that it's never been "properly" activated? What's the true purpose of the Heart? How will it slay Sol?

Well, the true purpose of the Heart is meant to show the value of the rules, not as enemies of humanity but as companions to them.

As much as they deny it, Apocalypse does care about Juiz personally. Even though it's the instrument of humanity's destruction, Apocalypse aligned with Victor's motives in letting Juiz die so that she can reincarnate and have a peaceful, happy life away from this war with god. He's even infuriated with Fuuko for trying to get Juiz in Loop 101 because he doesn't want her to be involved in this anymore. You can't spend 455.4 billion years alongside someone without caring about them at least on some level, and ironically both Victor and Apocalypse shared this mentality in never realizing just how much they cared until she was finally gone. Apocalypse, one of God's instruments to make humanity suffer, is capable of displaying compassion for them.

But that's not the full story. The Heart as a name is also to note, and I think maybe we can look at this manga's tendencies to play around with language as a base. In Japanese, "Heart" is usually said phonetically as "Kokoro" / written as "心" and tends to just mean "heart", but it actually has multiple meanings depending on the context used, specifically mind and spirit.

One's spirit. One's soul.

I think that Soul plays a part in the Heart artifact, not only due to the power he grants humanity but also that of the UMA, as well as his weird parallels with Apocalypse: Soul is the only known UMA made by Luna, whereas Apocalypse is the only known Artifact placed by Sol. Soul is the only UMA shown to be capable of directly controlling Apocalypse, and has been capable of warping it to his needs. Soul is the rule which gathers information and memories from the past and transfers them to the living, and Apocalypse is the book which stores the information of the past loops, the past lives of the world. Juiz in the very beginning of the series even says that "God resides on the other side of Apocalypse", where we know that the Superior 10 Rules are housed inside of the Sun itself.

And critically, one of the goals of the wager between Sol and Luna is to see if humanity is capable of reaching the Gods. Soul and Apocalypse both provide the potential for that above all others.

So, I believe the Heart artifact comes from combining the two, combining Soul and Apocalypse. And how would this theoretical combination come about?

Well, I think Soul is going to be the true final antagonist of Undead Unluck, slaying both Sol and Luna to usher in his own validated world, one that is also free from the whim of the gods and lets the UMA live freely.

A critical point to note is that the UMA, despite the pride many of them take in their purpose in tormenting humanity, are just as much victims of this game between gods as humanity is. They are concepts given form and made specifically to torment humanity for the goal of "finding the greatest life", but we see that this mentality is still a choice in and of itself. UMA have distinct developed personalities and can clash, as seen with Seal and Spoil when they interact with other UMA.

Clothy, Spring, Blood, Shadow, Move, UMA have also showcased that they can peacefully interact and coexist with humans, even care about and love them. If anything, from how Seal talks, the main point of contention UMA seem to have with humans and Negators is that humanity is somehow seen as "worthier" than they are to garner so much personal attention from the gods. Most UMA seem to mainly just be interested in expressing their rule's function over anything, and humanity just happens to be the target they're pointed at to put those rules into action. Seal himself even has the aspirations to be the "King of UMA" just because he feels like he's special for the scraps of attention that Sol gives him. The parallels with Ruin are Not subtle whatsoever in this department, especially as Ruin's abusive parent is depicted as just a black void that burned him (how sunshine burns his skin), eerily similar to the way Sol appears as an avatar.

If humans are dolls that the gods play with, then the UMA might as well just be the stage which the gods use, a mere backdrop item for the Negators to break as necessary for their development.

Negators being "vessels" for these rules has also always stuck out to me, because we see that the UMA and the corresponding Negator can be two separate beings; they're not really possessed in the conventional sense. Fuuko even points out during the Beast fight at Beast's mention of "UnBeast" that there are far fewer Negators than UMA and their rules, further pointing to a discrepancy in the advantages given to each side. It may seem like it's the UMA who are winning, but it's actually humanity; Ragnarok necessitates Sol himself to come down and destroy the planet, meaning that the UMA themselves aren't actually capable of defeating humanity. Juiz alone was able to hold off the Superior 10 Master Rules by her own ability, and it was only to hide her trump card, no less.

To add to this, when I thought of what vessel could mean, what immediately came to mind was not only how the souls of previous Negators are carried over to each new one, but how Rebellion could possess Victor.

Perhaps Soul will have Apocalypse possess him (or vice versa), and this will create the Heart artifact? It should be capable of slaying Sol as Luna said, but it's just as likely that Soul could point this weapon at her too, and given that Luna's domain is in the spiritual as stated by Language, if anyone would know how to exploit her weaknesses, it would undoubtedly be Soul.

Apocalypse being the Heart would also work with Undead Unluck's meta-narrative aspects as well: From Me, To You was a manga which prophesied the events which would take place in both a narrative (Anno Un) and meta-narrative (shoujo manga romance that Udul uses for inspiration) sense, much like how Apocalypse is a book which prophesies the end of the world. Perhaps it prophesies Ragnarok, the physical literal end of the world at Sol's hand, but it could also prophesy the end of the manga itself by way of slaying its final antagonists.

And this would all be Soul's ambition to free them from the gods. At this point, we don't fully know what Soul's feelings on humanity are, given that he does hold them in high esteem while also being willing to exterminate them, but perhaps he would care more about saving the UMA from the gods instead of further tormenting humanity.

A goal that Fuuko Izumo would agree with because it will free both of them from this endless blood feud.

Mutual understanding. A Heart.

The Negator powers which cause tragedy and invalidate the rules will disappear, the UMA as avatars to make humans suffer will disappear, but all the rules which the UMA embody will apply in a completely validated world, not made by either of the gods, but by both humans and the rules themselves.

I think Undead Unluck will end not with the Negators or UMA winning one over the other in the conventional sense, but coexisting and ending the gods as a collective.

Soul's ideal world. The character who understands even more than Sol or Luna the power of both Humanity and the Rules. The power of the Soul, the Heart.

small tinfoil hat subsection but tangentially related to this I also think Ruin's comeback as a good guy (lets be real its gonna happen) will come from him gathering the UMA as a force to work with the Negators against the gods because he refers to all the UMA as his friends, and I think an interesting comeback here will actually be UMA Galaxy.

Fuuko's strength as a character lies in her acceptance and understanding of others, even the people she dislikes. It's why Andy himself says that Unluck is "the world's cruelest ability within the world's kindest person" because it specifically targets the people she loves the most, leaving her alone. The imagery of the round table Ark (Apo on it makes it look like a sundial lol) compared to Luna's own table on the moon is intentional: Luna (and perhaps even Sol) have a profoundly lonely existence. They've set themselves up in this wager where they torment everyone for a potentially unreachable goal. Luna created Soul but she doesn't understand humans the same way she doesn't understand rules, and the UMA who have souls as well are also something she does not see the value in. Neither Sol or Luna understand anyone nor have anyone who understands them, and it's Fuuko's Unluck, which necessitates understanding, which CAN reach them.

UMA Galaxy itself was the Master Rule added after Loop 100, as well as being the first proper UMA we see in the series AS WELL as being the UMA most tied to Sol and Luna in general by concept alone (outside of Soul), so I think it'll be interesting if maybe UMA Galaxy comes back as a critical supportive ally to stop both Sol and Luna from destroying the Earth/ending humanity or UMAkind, and that the way the UMA help in stopping the gods is by using their rules in tandem with the Negators against the gods, especially UMA Galaxy using their literal cosmic scale to let Earth escape the gods grasps. All in gratitude for the one Negator who dreamed of them existing in a validated world.

[rabbitsrams]

i’ve seen a lot about virgin! lunch club! schlatt with an experienced reader but what if i raise to you: both of you are inexperienced and you do everything for the first time together. (fem/afab! reader)

nsfw under the cut, minors dni!! 18+ only.

he’s never had a girlfriend and you’ve never had a boyfriend. you were well aware of what went on during sex but you’ve never done any of it with a partner, and neither has he. so you decide to explore together.

often after you were both done with classes you would go to either of your dorm rooms (if a roommate wasn’t there, of course) and do anything and everything. 

“j, you can take my bra off, it’s fine.”

“yes you can touch them.”

it’s exhilirating to feel his hands on your breasts. and then his mouth. he soon gets absolutely fixated on them, wanting to play with them every time you met up.

his reaction when he sees your pussy for the first time. god. he practically goes awooga-eyes on you. 

his long slender fingers feel absolutely perfect inside you. he doesn’t tell you he spent his time in class reading how to do it properly, but it clearly works since it has you coming all over him in no time. 

and of course he pays special attention to your clit. the way his wonky thumb feels rubbing it while he fingers you... omg.

oral... it’s something you’ve been wanting to do for a long time. imagining schlatt between your legs, tongue lapping at your folds as he tastes you. and the real thing? you couldn’t even imagine how good that would feel.

pulling his hair when it feels extra good, and oh my god that makes him CRAZY. has him moaning against you, which turns you on even more. fuck, you can’t get enough of him.

he goes absolutely crazy every time you touch him. you started off with just giving him handjobs (which had him cumming in your hand in no seconds flat), but when you asked to give him a blowjob? feral. absolutely feral.

you start off slow, giving him small kitten licks before taking more. you just do what you think is right and he swears you’re a natural. AND WHEN YOU LOOK UP AT HIM... he jerks off to the image of you on your knees below him nightly. ‘cause... wow.

btw you begged him to come down your throat and now he can’t get that out of his head :)

he’s so fucking vocal too, something you didn’t expect out of the quiet schlatt you knew from your calc 101 class. and it’s really hot. it’s like he only wants you to hear how loud he can get. so you do everything in your power to make him feel good. 

and obviously as time goes on you both get better, but there’s something missing. you still haven’t went all the way. you’ve talked about it a few times but you weren’t ready. until tonight.

“do you have a condom?”

“oh shit, no i don’t.”

so he runs to the ra’s office to grab some (read: a whole handful). he’s nervous to put it in you, so you reassure him.

“j, it’s okay. we can stop if it’s too much.”

“i know, i just want you to feel good.”

“i will, it’s okay.”

he’s so careful and gentle with you omg. asking if you’re okay every 5 seconds as he goes deeper. and when he’s buried to the hilt he waits till you give the okay for him to start moving.

he doesn’t really last long lmao. but that’s okay. he feels bad he couldn’t get you to finish but u tell him to just finger you or something. which he does. but you kind of wish you came on his cock. 

(you get to do that a few times in though! and it ROCKS. like wow.)

[techramonic]

The Pinnacle of Self-Hatred: A Close-Reading on Elliot Rodger's Manifesto

“I named it the Day of Retribution. It would be a day in which I exact my ultimate retribution and revenge on all of the hedonistic scum who enjoyed lives of pleasure that they don’t deserve. If I can’t have it, I will destroy it. I will destroy all women because I can never have them. I will make them all suffer for rejecting me… And I will slaughter them like the animals they are.” (Rodger, 2014, p. 101)

On the Friday evening of May. 23, 2014, Elliot Rodger had perpetrated the Isla Vista Killings. A series of stabbings and shootings that claimed the lives of six people, injured fourteen, and concluded with his own death from a fatal self-inflicted gunshot wound on the head. Before this, Elliot was like any other normal teenager growing up.

As he mentioned in his own manifesto, he had a seemingly good childhood up until his parent’s divorce. Even until the separation, he still spent time with both sides of his family, maintaining the privilege to have access to many luxurious items such as a collection of designer clothes and even a BMW 328i. He traveled a lot, and at just the age of one, he had already traveled to France, Sussex, Malaysia (where his mother grew up), Spain, Greece, and California.

People on platforms such as Reddit often questioned why no one considered dating him at all. Elliot had also asked himself this question time and time again. In one of his youtube videos, entitled, “Why do girls hate me so much” he says:

“I’ve been attending college in Santa Barbara for two and a half years now, in those two and a half years I have experienced nothing but loneliness and misery, and my problem  is girls. There are so many beautiful girls here, but none of them give me a chance and I don’t know why. I don’t know why you girls are so repulsed by me.”

While it is easy to dismiss that Elliot solely acted upon his crime because he thought that girls were the problem, upon the surface where misogyny lies, there are layers upon layers of complexities that shaped his views. Elliot did not simply hate women and men who got with women he dreamed of, it was that ultimately, he hated himself—a hatred that manifested toward outward factors.

Elliot has exhibited a long string of stunted self-worth ever since he was a child, and while it is easy to throw around names like: monster and pure-evil; the fact remains: he is still considered a human amongst all those. One who is consumed by insecurity.

In understanding a crime, we must first examine the criminal and approach their case with empathy. Understanding the human aspect of these criminals does not however mean that one should excuse, dismiss, or condone their actions. Only understand the reasons behind their motivations. Here are some aspects I have noticed in his personality and life that may be able to better explain why.

MATERIALISM AND INSECURITY

In his manifesto entitled: “My Twisted World”, Elliot had confessed to having lived a good childhood. He was a nice kid who lived a nice life, up until his parent’s rocky divorce. While reading his manifesto, I have garnered his tendency to place his worth on materialistic things, moreso, his wealth. There were two instances of this on pages thirty to thirty-one of his manifesto. The first was when he was hesitant to invite his new friend from school over to his house because he was ashamed of his wealth:

“I was a bit hesitant to invite anyone from Pinecrest to my mother’s house, because it was located in Canoga Park, a bad area, and most of the kids at Pinecrest were upper-middle class who would look down on me for living there.”

On page thirty one of his manifesto, Elliot said that he was eager to receive an Xbox solely because many kids from his school wanted it:

“My mother bought me a brand new video game console, the Xbox. I heard a lot of kids talking about how great the Xbox was at school, so I was really eager to have one.”

This trait had continued on to his older years. In the same video where he questioned why girls disliked him so much, he stated:

“I do everything I can to appear attractive to you. I dress nice. I am sophisticated and magnificent. I have a nice car, a BMW.”

From this, it’s observable that Elliot tends to desire things just because other kids desire it too. This is rooted in his craving of validation and acceptance. This materialistic need for validation also transcended from mere objects to even his own appearance. Whenever he did not have what others had or wanted, he would be very ashamed of himself.

At the age of six, Elliot had moved to Topanga Elementary Charter School, a school based in California. The school has a thirty two per-cent minority rate, making seventy eight per-cent of the ethnicity population white. With the population being predominantly white, Elliot  had developed a view on the world that separates people by their differences: the “cool kids” and the “losers”. Mostly, Elliot described these cool kids as the higher-class, privileged, centered on attention, and white. 

“I realized, with some horror, that I wasn’t “cool” at all. I had a dorky hairstyle, I wore plain and uncool clothing, and I was shy and unpopular. I was always described as the shy boy in the past, but I never really thought my shyness would affect me in a negative way, until this point. This revelation about the world, and about myself, really decreased my self-esteem. On top of this was the feeling that I was different because I am of mixed race. I am half White, half Asian, and this made me different from the normal fully-white kids that I was trying to fit in with.”

He even dyed his hair blonde and tried to pick up on skateboarding because he thought it would make him appear more cool. On his manifesto he wrote:

“My first act was to ask my parents to allow me to bleach my hair blonde. I always envied and admired blonde-haired people, they always seemed so much more beautiful.” (Rodger, 2014, p. 17)

“I then started to notice that all of the cool kids were interested in skateboarding. I had never even ridden on a skateboard before, but if I wanted to be cool, I had to become a skateboarder.” (Rodger, 2014, p. 18)

This materialism had soon influenced his fixation on racial hierarchy. Elliot in his older years constantly demeaned and berated others of asian descent even if he was half-malaysian himself. To him, he considered whiteness as a prestige. On platforms such as reddit and facebook, he had made several negative comments regarding the appearance of some Asian men. 

A comment he had left on a reddit thread stated:

“Full Asian men are disgustingly ugly and white girls would never go for you. You’re just butthurt that you were born an asian piece of shit, so you lash out by linking these fake pictures. You even admit that you wish you were half white. You’ll never be half-white and you’ll never fulfill your dream of marrying a white woman. I suggest you jump off a bridge.” 

The paragraph entails Elliot calling out a man for linking fake pictures of himself. Elliot speculates that the man had done this because he wished he was white, then he tells him how he was not considered as attractive because he was simply born Asian. Elliot was also very fixated on his looks, specifically his height. He had repeatedly mentioned his envy of other boys and even girls who were taller than him.

On page fifteen of his manifesto, he wrote:

“As Fourth Grade started, it fully dawned on me that I was the shortest kid in my class – even the girls were taller than me. In the past, I rarely gave a thought to it, but at this stage I became extremely annoyed at how everyone was taller than me, and how the tallest boys were automatically respected more. It instilled the first feelings of inferiority in me, and such feelings would only grow more volatile with time.”

In other instances, he also noted that he was bullied for being physically weak and short, and often he would blame this solely on his descent. He saw being mixed as a form of inferiority because this made him “undesirable”.  His image of attractiveness is measured by euro-centric features: fair-skinned, blonde, blue eyes, and tall. In many instances, he changed parts of himself to better fit the narrative of being “cool”.

To him, it’s all a part of growing up and fitting in, but what he failed to see is that the more he takes and changes parts of himself for people to like him, the more it just makes him hollow. Elliot’s childhood and teen years, best summed up, is a fixation on trying to keep up with those who are higher on the social status ladder and this continued to his later years. 

EARLY EXPOSURE TO PORNOGRAPHY AND SEXIST MEDIA 

Elliot was lonelier during his teen years, at 13 years old, he stopped having contact with his only friends because they started having their own separate lives together, making him spend more time alone by himself (Rodger, 2014, p. 38). This was when Elliot recounted his first-time exposure to pornography by catching a teenager watch it in an arcade called Planet Cyber.  He re-called it as a traumatizing experience, confused on why such an explicit thing would be considered as “love”. Despite this, his innocence was damaged by this accidental exposure. Though he did feel aroused, he was more guilty and confused.

“One time while I was alone at Planet Cyber, I saw an older teenager watching pornography. I saw in detail a video of a man having sex with a hot girl …  I didn’t know anything about sex at the time. I barely even knew what sex was. I was slowly starting to develop sexual feelings for hot girls, but I didn’t know what to do with them. To see this video really traumatized me. I had no idea what I was seeing… I couldn’t imagine human beings doing such things with each other. The sight was shocking, traumatizing, and arousing. All of these feelings mixed together took a great toll on me. I walked home and cried by myself  for a bit.” (Rodger, 2014, p. 38-39)

This was the pinnacle of Elliot’s misery. A kid who searched for validation with his looks, now searched for it in sexual gratification as well. He only found himself loved if people flocked over to him. Furthermore, he had this distorted mindset that his worth is only measured by how many girls he could get and how fast he'd lose his virginity. This can be akin to the stereotypical portrayals of boys in media that often influenced teens and their concept of self-worth: the "cool" guys having lots of girls, while nerds and "losers" have none.

With this type of thinking, he tried his best to gain things that he thought women would like, yet he did little to no effort to actually get to know them and socialize. He believed that just because he had what others wanted or did not, people would love him. According to his friends, they thought he was almost always one-sided, expecting women to just swoon over him because he has things that are desirable.

ENTITLEMENT

Furthermore, despite his initial pleasant middle school years at Pinecrest High, such as dancing with a girl during a school dance (Rodger, 2014, p. 29), socializing eventually became difficult for Elliot. Often, this is because of  his appearance, where he experienced bullying because of his height. According to his friends, he barely talked to women but still complained no woman wanted to talk to him. 

Elliot was easily persuaded and subjected to peer-pressure because he had no clear identity. He always followed what was the trend because it made him feel less insecure about himself, since it was what he thought the people accepted and desired.

Despite his insecurities, Elliot had a fine record for being privileged, which he used to his advantage to "fix" certain qualities in himself that he deemed undesirable. Ever since he was younger, he often used his wealth to modify certain aspects of himself, even the smallest things: dyeing his hair blonde, purchasing designer clothes to appear more attractive and rich, purchasing mass amounts of body-building pills, and only picking up hobbies such as skateboarding and basketball solely because he found them useful in climbing up the social ladder.

Elliot also had a strong dislike for people who did not support his motivations. He expressed a strong resentment toward is step-mother, Soumaya, because of her assertive nature. He considered his dad to be “weak” for following her orders around, when in truth, she was only trying to teach Elliot a lesson about independence. 

“Not only did she kick me out of father’s house, but she forbade me to go there even for a short visit. And still, father didn’t do anything about it. Father kept saying that the house is her house as much as his, and that she has the right to kick me out. No! I am the eldest son! The house should be MY house before hers! This caused any respect I still had for my father to fade away completely. It was such a betrayal, to put his second wife before his eldest son. What kind of father would do that? The bitch must be really good to him in bed, I figured. What a weak man.” (Rodger, 2014, p. 62)

At his step-mother’s insistence, Elliot began looking for a job and eventually found work from a family friend who offered him a job for a house construction project. He felt more comfortable with it, seeing the job as helping rather than typical employment. After getting his driver’s license, Elliot enrolled in summer classes at Moorpark College but struggled with attendance, again, due to his jealousy of campus couples.

He dropped out midway through, briefly worked as a janitor at an airport office, and quit after one day. Knowing his mother would be upset, he re-enrolled at Moorpark but eventually dropped out again (Rodger, 2014, p. 70). Upon learning of Elliot’s decision to drop out again, his parents decided he would move to Santa Barbara, where he would live alone in an apartment paid for by his mother, receive a $500 monthly allowance from his father, and enroll in classes at Santa Barbara Community College (Rodger, 2014, p. 77). 

CONCLUSION

Elliot is very persistent on the idea that to be accepted, he needed to be loved, when in truth, he couldn't bear to accept himself. No one has absolutely any obligation to love someone because the other sees it as a form of validation. Self-worth comes from yourself, not from others. Due to Elliot’s constant fixation on trying to be accepted, he lost the identity that made him authentic and genuine. He lost what other people could not give him: self-worth.

Concluding, Elliot Rodger is a complex individual that cannot be summed up to one set character. He is not solely “pure evil”, he is a person with a background that influenced his decisions. He is not less deserving of humanity or empathy because just like others, he had also felt humane emotions. With criminals, it is always important to remember that to understand a certain event or phenomena of crime, we also have to understand not just the perpetrator that the media portrays, which is often easily pushed into a oversimplified narrative of “pure evil”; we must also consider the genuine person behind the crime. 

While it is important to recognize that these are profoundly disturbed individuals who must be held accountable for their actions, it is also crucial to understand that despite their crimes, they still remain human. Although, this does not mean that his background excuses or condones his actions. It only provides a framework to comprehensively understand both the case and the criminal behind it. 

[s0urw00lf]

Our future is in our hands

Pairing: pre!college Sam Winchester x reader

Summary: you and Sam go from talking about the your dreams of going to college to actually going. Together.

Warnings: none

An: I'd kill to see how pre college Sam acted also in this readers mom and john are NOT together, they are just people who met just years after loosing their S/O

Dean left for the bar about ten minutes ago claiming that he ‘needed to get laid’ despite being only twenty years old and not yet old enough to get into a bar legally and your mom and John left a little over a day ago on a hunt that luckily didn’t call for you, Dean and Sam to tag along.

So that left you and Sam alone in the motel. Somehow John had found a place that had bedrooms in the motel two to be exact one with two twins (the boy's room) and one with a queen (your room). Which is where you currently sat doing some schoolwork that had been assigned to you by your mother. She was eager to keep you in school and by the grace of god you and your mother were able to talk John into letting Sam attend dean decided against it because he wouldn’t need it for much longer.

You groaned at the growing headache you’d started to get from staring at the workbook for too long. “You got a headache too?” The voice led you to look to see Sam’s tall frame standing in the doorway with a bottle of water. You rolled over on your back “I’ve been re-reading the same paragraph for thirty minutes” you groaned, accepting the water when he reached out to hug it to you. Sam gave you a small smile “I told you to take a break like an hour ago” he said.

You sighed “I know but I don’t have much left I just wanted to get it over with” you replied, sitting up so you wouldn’t choke while drinking the water. He looked down at your paper trying to see if he’d completed the part you were on, he hadn’t but he still offered his help. You declined “I need a break, I think my attention span has run dry,” you said. He nodded letting out a laugh, “Well what do you wanna do?” He asked. You shrugged, “Anything but that” You pointed to the pile of open workbooks and notepaper. “Wanna help me clean the guns?” He asked. You nodded, expecting that that’s what he was doing before he came into the room because John had told them two days ago to have it done by the time he was back.

The two of you sat beside working in silence disassembling the guns before Sam’s soft voice interrupted the silence. “Are you gonna go to college?” He asked suddenly. You looked up from the gun you had in your hands to Sam who kept his eyes trained on the gun he was cleaning. You thought for a second “I'd like to, more than anything.” You answered pausing “But do you think people like us get to do things like that?” You questioned.

He finally looked up from the gun in his hands and made eye contact with you, his expression was soft and his green eyes looked so vulnerable. “I think to hell with everybody else, since when do we play but the ‘hunter 101’ ruled anyway” he joked but you could tell he was deadly serious. You nodded at his statement, he was right.

The both of you had never been fully on board with the way your future was headed, hence the hours of hard work and studying. “Then yeah I'd love to go, but not by myself,” you said, hoping he’d catch the hint you were throwing at him. And he did, a blissful smile crossed his face “You wouldn’t be by yourself, we could go together, and share a dorm or apartment or whatever” he said.

Your smile matched his at the thought, sharing an apartment with Sammy sounded great but you’d rather share a room. You nodded “We could go furniture shopping and to parties. We could be normal,” you said, imagining the whole scenario. Sam agreed with a smile still plastered on his face “You’d do that with me?” He asked slowly. You looked at him completely baffled. “Sam i'd do anything with you” you confessed to him. “Even if i told you i want to be with you when it happens” he asked “even more so then” you replied with a small smile.

A little over two years later

You and Sam had left your parents and Dean a couple of hours ago. Somehow you both had been granted a full ride at Stanford and while your mom was happy about it, John had raised hell and to make a long story short he’d told you “If you walk out that door, don’t come back.” And you did. Sam drove with a clenched jaw and white knuckles, and you couldn’t keep yourself from crying. Silence filled the car as both of you registered the events that had taken place just hours ago. You didn’t know if you could live without talking to your family. Not your mom, or Dean. John… maybe. Your thoughts were interrupted when Sam grabbed your hand intertwining it with his and holding on tight. You have him a teary smile and his tense expression relaxed.

‘We’re gonna be fine’

When you arrived at Stanford you both gaped at the apartment on campus you’d been granted, you’d never lived in such a nice space. You walked further into the apartment and made eye contact with Sam who was still standing at the door and the biggest smiles crossed your faces. You let out an excited squeal running to hug him, he caught you picking you up and twirling you, making you let out a laugh.

He placed you gently back on the ground with a dopey smile locking you into his loving stare. “I can’t believe it” you muttered in disbelief looking up into his green eyes. “We did it,” he said. You were trapped, unable to look away from his eyes, and your face heated making your heartbeat rise. Since that day you and Sam talked about college you’d grown closer than friends but not yet a couple and you had yet to have your first kiss, praying that someday it’d be him, and it seems your prayers were answered when he began to lean down, playing a hand on your hip to bring you closer.

“Sam,” you said softly and you weren’t sure why. “Can I?” He breathily asked tugging you even closer if possible. You nodded not breaking eye contact. You could feel his breath on your lips as he leaned closer. When your lips connected you’d let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. He hummed softly into the kiss. His lips were soft and the tip of his nose was still cold from when he was blasting the AC in the car. He pulled away from the kiss with a smile “I’m so glad I finally did that” he whispered. You laughed “I wish you’d done it sooner” you replied with a smirk. You pulled away from his warm embrace and turned back towards the living space of the apartment. “Where do we go from here?” You asked softly.

“We’ve got years to figure that out, let’s just focus on now” he answered. You smiled looking up at him. You had the man you’d dreamed about (literally) and the life you wished for and for right now that was all you needed.

[tsutsumi-kurose]

Do you have any Tsukasa analyses?

hi!! thank you sm for the ask!! i love tsukasa analyses, so i was really excited to get this!! there is a small/specific thing i've been thinking about with regards to a couple tsukasa moments recently, and that is:

tsukasa and some not-so-rhetorical questions

there are two specific instances i've been thinking about recently of tsukasa asking typically rhetorical questions in a genuine way. the first time happens in chapter 91. when hanako and nene ask tsukasa how he got to them and why he was there, he asks "who cares?"

i find it really interesting that this question comes before tsukasa asks a long series of hard hitting questions about nene's lifespan, hanako's wish, and destroying the yorishiros. he's asking very real, actionable questions! and this question is grouped in with them! so while "who cares?" is typically a very throwaway question, coming from tsukasa in this moment, i read it as having much more weight. i think tsukasa is experiencing the feeling of that in a very real way. especially given the context of more recent chapters ("he doesn't come when i call," "if you want out, you're going to have to do the best you can by yourself," etc.) while this question may come across as flippant, tsukasa must truly be wondering: "genuinely, who cares where i've been? how or why i'm here? genuinely, do either of the two of you care what i'm up to? you're worried about nene's lifespan and the yorishiros. who he cares about how i got here or why? i have no reason to believe you do." i don't think it's a stretch to think that a boy whose calls for help don't get answered would genuinely wonder: who cares?

and with all the context of 91 up to now, i love to read this question in 110 as a genuine question from tsukasa that hanako hears as rehtorical, and flippant:

"so?" asked so briefly and bluntly is often a rhetorical question: more a statement of "that doesn't matter" or "i don't care." and from hanako's perspective, he has just poured his heart out. he's just said, "yes i could have anything in the whole world, but then i wouldn't have you." to him, this surely must seem like a logical fill in of, "I wouldn't trade you for anything."

but this is tsukasa. tsukasa, who has spent god knows how many years calling out for amane with no response. tsukasa, who knows the following to be fact: 1) hanako knows tsukasa is his yorishiro. 2) hanako has been working to destroy all the yorishiros. thus, the logic from the facts tsukasa has would say that hanako prefers to be without tsukasa. of course he'll be confused that hanako's words suggest he doesn't want to be apart when all he's done with his actions is keep tsukasa away from himself!

it's not surprising, then, that he would want an explanation of how these things connect. the facts tsukasa has say amane doesn't care about him and is prepared to destroy him. so of course amane saying "i wouldn't give you up for anything" is not going to compute, that seems like almost an exact contradiction to the facts tsukasa is working with. the "so?" here is the same question tsukasa's been asking since 1968 in chapter 101: "you'd prefer it if i stayed here, right, amane? or would you rather me gone?" tsukasa thought he had the answer, but now amane's saying the opposite.

i love this panel, because it reads as so hopeful. i really read this as tsukasa wanting to know more about why amane is hung up on never seeing tsukasa again. how often does tsukasa ever want anything for himself? other than to know how someone is feeling? and this moment feels significantly softer than other times he's asked similar things. tsukasa's always asking: what are you thinking? what are you feeling? amane, are you happy to see me? so i think he's genuinely asking here: why would that be a problem? i interpret this panel as tsukasa really, genuinely asking amane to explain that he cares about him, that he wants to be with him. because he has nothing to go off of to prove that that's the case. are you happy to see me, amane? so what if you can never see me again, amane?

to get really specific, i love the lighting in tsukasa's eyes in this panel. his eyes are mostly in shadow, but there's just a bit of light at the tops of them; his irises are almost all black, but there's a little bit of light flooding in at the bottom. because i love to torture myself with tsukasa angst (lol), i like to interpret this specific lightning choice as representing understanding beginning to dawn for tsukasa. a literal flicker of hope. maybe... amane does care about him? maybe amane does want him around? he might just be starting to understand that amane cares, but he needs it explained more, needs it spelled out. hanako's actions have not suggested this is true, so all he can go off of are hanako's words. he needs more words from hanako to make it make sense. so? why would that matter? he's starting to get it, but he has to ask, especially since it goes against all the other signs he's been given.

but, of course, hanako is hanako/amane is amane (i love him but he does win worst communicator for more than fifty years running <3 lmao) so he takes this as a rejection, and doles out his own in return, not hearing the request tsukasa is making, thus affirming what tsukasa already thought: that he hates tsukasa.

the mix of light and dark is gone from tsukasa'a eyes after hanako says "i hate you so much."

his face and eyes are flush with light--with clarity. i know you hate me, amane. no more doubt, no more questions, no more hope.

i'm obsessed with the angst of this entire interaction, and tsukasa asking, "so?" is the hinge it all rests on. the moment of suspension.

here's their chance. here is tsukasa wanting to understand why hanako isn't going through with the plan just because the two of them would never see each other again. here is hanako's chance to explain that he cares.

but it can't line up, not expressed like this. not with "do you love me?" tsuakasa and "of course!" amane. not when they're both so sure their love for the other is obvious, not when they both hear rejection in everything. not when they've both come to expect loneliness as a default, to the point where the other caring about them is never the logical conclusion in their eyes, no matter how obvious their love for the other seems to themselves.

here is a beginning, here in tsukasa's eyes, in his question. but both of them are only ever expecting an end.

(this analysis of tsukasa's eyes in this interaction also connects to the seed of a larger theory i want to explore more soon, which is the possibility that tsukasa's eyes going black isn't necessarily--or at least not exclusively--about the entity's powers taking over, but rather/additionally a reflection of his emotional state... but then that also ties into the really long post i'm trying to wrangle into coherence about tsukasa being genuinely tsukasa... so i may have to elaborate on that another time lol)

thank you again for the ask!! i really love diving into all the possible meanings behind specific/small moments, so i had a lot of fun with this!!