#it has been just chris and eddie for most of chris's memory

[lesbiansforeddiediaz]

Chris loves Eddie. Chris might be mad and not sure how to deal with how he feels right now (due to being 14 and also his grandparents very specifically not helping him) but he loves his father and misses him. Being separated from his father and not given any tools to actually work through his grief and confusion and anger is not just something that is hurting Eddie, it's bad for Chris too.

[alchemistc]

fascination with your presentation | bucktommy 1/1

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Tommy likes to touch things. It's just a random quirk of his that Eddie's noticed - a hand sliding along the back of the couch as he follows Eddie into the kitchen to grab a beer, fingers balancing along the table as he leans, elbow pressing into the frame of the doorway like he's gauging the space between walls.

He's tactile - a smack to the space between his shoulders, fist bumps and high fives and teasing hair ruffles when he's got Eddie pinned in the middle of a spar and they both know Eddie isn't getting out of it.

It's nice. There aren't a lot of men, especially with their background, in their line of work, who are remotely comfortable expressing affection like that.

He's a fan.

Christopher is less so, when Tommy lays a big hand to the crown of his head and goes for a noogie. He huffs, rolls his eyes, rolls his head forward and away from the touch, makes some noise about a call he's supposed to make later that night and how he doesn't want his hair messed up for it, and Tommy holds his hands up in apology, fighting a grin as Chris smooths his hair back down.

Eddie's used to it already, so it takes him a second to really notice Tommy rounding the edge of the table to flick through papers and pictures and receipts tacked to the fridge as he digs through one of his drawers in search of the bottle opener he knows he has stashed in here somewhere. Eddie's more of a twist cap beer guy, but Tommy's oddly flavored fancy bottles always need an opener.

"Here," Tommy says, and Eddie turns just in time to catch the keys Tommy slings at him.

"I don't like your truck that much," Eddie tells him, which is a lie.

Tommy tips his head forward to indicate the keys. "Bottle opener, Diaz."

Which makes sense. He should get one for himself, actually. It's a little shocking neither one of them carries a utility knife on them. The preparedness rules maybe didn't stick after discharge as well as they could have

Tommy's gaze drifts, and Eddie watches his head tilt, ring and middle finger reaching up to tap at one of the pictures on the fridge. Chris and Buck, a few years back, some trip to the museum during either Buck or Chris' dinosaur phase. Buck's holding a giant stuffed pteranodon ("Pterodactyls were smaller and had cone-shaped teeth and backward-projecting crests, actually, and this isn't technically the most accurate depiction anyway, it's generally accepted they probably had feathers, now." -- So, definitely Buck's phase, now that he's remembering.) and Chris has a specific brand of smile across his face that Eddie has quietly dubbed his Buck-smile. Something around the edges of his eyes that's always just a little brighter for Buck.

"Cute picture," Tommy says, and Chris's eyes draw to it as Tommy taps his knuckles once-twice to it before dropping his hand to his side.

It's not the first time someone in this circle of three has brought up Buck.

The first night Tommy'd been here, camped out on the couch watching a game, Chris had had a million questions, and Buck had come up pretty naturally over the course of them comparing disasters they'd been a part of, or worked.

Chris had brought up the tsunami, which had led to a back and forth where they discovered Tommy had likely flown right over them at least once during that disaster of a day, and then it had evolved into Chris memorializing all of Buck's greatest (most traumatizing) hits - pinned under a fire engine, climbing a crane tower in the middle of a county wide panic about a shooter targeting firefighters (he doesn't bring up Eddie being shot, which - maybe they should revisit that at some point, make sure Chris isn't burying that), Buck getting struck by lightning, Buck taking charge in the bridge collapse.

And obviously, if Chris was gonna debate Star Wars, he was gonna bring up Buck's involved opinions on Machete order and OG vs Prequels vs the Somehow Palpatine Returned era, and be delighted that Tommy's opinion differed from Buck's, because that made Chris the victor in that ongoing battle.

Buck is a big part of Chris and Eddie's lives, so he's gonna be dropped into conversation. Nothing strange about that.

Tommy always calls him Evan, which is a big old dose of whiplash every time, and he can't think why he does that, because despite Buck introducing himself (weirdly) as Buh-Evan Buckley, they've seen each other since, and no one else Tommy talks to calls him Evan, so he doesn't know why Buck hasn't corrected him.

Chris' mouth does something strange as Tommy keeps looking at the picture, his expression going a little curious in a way Eddie can't quite parse, and then he's grinning. There's no reason to be suspicious, except for the way he actually puts down his phone to engage with Tommy as Eddie passes a beer off.

"Yeah, Buck always takes me to exhibits every time there's a new one. He's cool like that."

Tommy hums around his first sip, expression placid, posture relaxed. "Maybe I could take you to the next one."

Christopher's eyes narrow.

Eddie's lost.

"Uh, not without Buck. Carla took me once without him and he pretended to be fine about it for weeks until I asked him to take me again. He was not happy we went without him. But you could come with us."

Tommy tap-tap-taps his finger against the rim of his bottle, unfazed by the slightly territorial way Chris had phrased it. Eddie's fazed. Eddie is not sure there's not a second layer to this conversation he's missing. "I'll look it up. Jot it down in my day book."

Christopher is too young to have a clue what that means, but he doesn't seem to be quite done with whatever the hell it is he's got going on right now. "Good," he says. "Buck's single right now, so he's got a lot of extra time for stuff."

Tommy's gaze flits to Christopher's, and Eddie doesn't have a fucking clue what's going on, but it's a weighted look for half a second before Chris' gaze turns back to his phone.

"You have his number, right? Maybe you should call him and figure out a day we can all go."

Something happens around the corners of Tommy's mouth that he hides by tipping the bottle mouth against his lips again. "Yeah. I've got his number."

For a second Eddie wonders why, before he remembers catching Buck down at Harbor before the fight. When had Buck gotten his number?

"Cool," says Chris, eyes already glued back to his phone. "We usually get lunch first. Buck really likes pizza."

"Everyone likes pizza," Tommy says, eyes glimmering with mirth that Eddie absolutely does not know the source of.

"Yeah, but Buck's picky about it. He says there's a perfect pizza to crust ratio that most places don't get right. Also he likes it when they have a stone oven, and the little pizza risers."

Tommy rolls his tongue over his teeth. And - why is Eddie watching this interaction so carefully? It's not like he's worried Tommy's gonna say something weird to his kid, even if his kid is being weird.

"I'm gonna go throw the game on. You hungry?"

Tommy's eyes shift to meet his, and Eddie feels that same frisson of excitement he gets sometimes when Buck is paying close attention to him. "I could eat. Not pizza though. There's nowhere around here with a good stone oven."

"Dad likes pineapple on his pizza, his pizza opinions suck."

Eddie tosses his hands up. This is an old argument, one created entirely by Buck because Chris hadn't minded a good Canadian pizza before Buck declared war on them. "Pizza's just pizza. I was thinking Chinese, anyway."

"Can we get those spring rolls Buck always gets?"

Tommy's gaze slips to the fridge one more time, eyes drifting across the picture he'd pointed out earlier, before he unclips the menu for the Chinese place down the street from its spot half-covering the calendar to hand it off to Eddie. He spots the circle around their plans for Thursday and reaches out to touch the date.

"You invite anyone else for Thursday?"

Eddie rolls his top lip over his bottom one. "Buck hates basketball, turns me down every time I ask. I might ask Chim, though, he and his brother always liked to play."

Literally nothing in Tommy's expression changes, but Eddie feels like he's reacting to something in that sentence anyway. He's trying to figure out how to cut the weird tension in the room when Christopher starts listing off his order, and he's so distracted by trying to get a list prepared to call that he misses two thirds of Chris and Tommy's continued conversation, which is somehow, for some reason, still about Buck. Geez, is Chris pissed that Eddie's got a new friend? He should invite Buck next time he makes plans to hang out at home with Tommy.

----

"It was a date," Buck tells him, a week and a half later, while Eddie's staring at his phone like looking hard enough might make it, and his relationship with Marisol, maybe disappear. Just for a little while, while he squares things up with God.

Eddie tosses his phone, turns to look at Buck in the second before it computes, manages to pull back just enough so that it's not a full, ridiculous double take.

"When you and Marisol ran into me and Tommy, we were on a date."

"Really?" Buck usually tells him the second he's interested in someone, because for some reason he thinks Eddie has any idea how to have a loving, lasting relationship, even though Eddie's been lobbing live grenades straight at love since he was fourteen. He hadn't said a word to Eddie about -

Well.

Well actually --

Well shit.

Oh, he's definitely giving Tommy and Christopher both shit about this later.

"Wait, Tommy's gay?"

A whole host of things are suddenly lining up -- Buck at Harbor the afternoon before the fight, and Buck asking half a million questions after the fight, and Buck and Tommy both picking at the thread of Christopher's praises for the other, and -- Buck had been jealous. Buck had been jealous of Eddie spending time with Tommy. Buck had shoulder checked him to the court and sprained his ankle because he liked the guy enough to lose his head about it.

Oh, he's gonna hold this over all of their heads for sure.

Which for the moment is apparently not that great an idea because Tommy'd pressed pause after one date, which is fast even for Buck. He tells him so.

"When we ran into you guys I kinda made an idiot of myself and he said he doesn't think I'm ready." Buck looks -- sad. Disappointed. Nervous, hands rubbing at his thighs like he's soothing himself. It's a fair point, on Tommy's part, even if he doesn't know all the details.

(Something about hot chicks pings in the back of his mind, but he shelves it for later.)

Buck's never really hinted at romantic inclinations in that direction, although some of his comments about good looking guys are making a little more sense, in retrospect.

"What do you think?" Eddie's pretty sure he knows the answer to this question, but he asks anyway, because Buck likes to work these things out. He likes to talk about them. Eddie imagines not being able to articulate exactly what he was feeling without wondering if his friends would think it was weird probably (definitely) contributed to his wildly dramatic behavior the last few weeks.

Geez, Tia Pepa would be eating this telenovela shit up.

"I kinda can't stop thinking about him," Buck tells him, and it's a voice Eddie's not entirely sure he's ever heard from Buck before -- at least when he's talking about someone he's into. Buck's always got a checklist and a trillion rationalizations. Now he just sounds... smitten.

And Tommy is too, Eddie thinks. He is absolutely gonna call him out for pumping his kid for information. Maybe accuse him of only befriending him to get to Buck -- see if he can make the unflappable Tommy Kinard flap, a little.

"You should call him," Eddie tells him, already imagining double dates with a partner of Buck's he doesn't hope will spontaneously combust in the middle of dinner. Maybe between Tommy, Chris and Eddie they can finally convince Buck to go to one of the car shows he's always rolling his eyes at. Maybe Tommy and his terribly hidden romantic side can actually match Buck's crazy.

Eddie hugs Buck on his way out the door and feels the tension drain from his shoulders.

Maybe touched starved Buck will get to enjoy that little tactile quirk of Tommy's, too.

[capseycartwright]

can't ignore the crazy visions of me in la

Margarita-drunk Buck ruminates on how beautiful Eddie Diaz is while his best friend is dancing to Chappell Roan. That's what LA pride is for, right? - or, alternatively: Eddie spends his first pride as an out queer man in a gay club, and Buck is in love with him about it.

written for week one of @summerofbuddie- mixed media. the mixed media part of this fic is eddie's big gay playlist, and is full of what i believe to be all of eddie's favourite queer music. pls enjoy.

ao3 link

Buck had always thought that Eddie was beautiful. He knew how that sounded – but even when he had thought he was straight, Buck had always felt quite comfortable in his masculinity. Men were beautiful. Okay, sure, with the benefit of hindsight, it was long-buried bisexuality threatening to burst to the surface, but the point stood: Eddie Diaz had always been beautiful to Buck. 

Physically, yes, he was beautiful. He had these big brown eyes that had always been incredibly effective at getting Buck to do all the things Eddie didn’t want to do –  small things, like driving (of course, because Eddie was a passenger princess at heart, and Buck was more than happy to indulge), and cooking, until Eddie had begun to find a love for that himself, and the bigger things too, like agreeing to be Eddie’s medical proxy, and being Christopher’s guardian in case – well, Buck didn’t like to articulate the rest of that one. It felt like jinxing it, so he always left it at ‘in case’ – nothing else needed to be said.

Eddie was physically beautiful – he had the softest brown hair Buck had ever come across, and a sweet grin that got him more than his fair share of attention on calls, and firefighting had packed on a lot of muscle over the years, so maybe he wasn’t the proud owner of an eight-pack, anymore, but Eddie’s body was strong, and capable, and Buck felt that was beautiful too. 

Eddie was gorgeous, was the thing – but he wasn’t just physically beautiful. Eddie Diaz had a really beautiful personality, too. It had taken a while for him to allow Buck to get to know it – and not just Buck, for everyone else, too – but when Eddie had decided to let people in, and see who he truly was, underneath the somewhat gruff exterior, there has been so much beauty there. Eddie was kind, kind in a way that Buck could only admire, genuine in his kindness. Buck could see where Christopher got it from.

Eddie was gentle, too. Buck knew most people would doubt that, given the life Eddie led – an army veteran with a penchant for street fighting and Muay Thai – but Buck knew better. Those were all circumstances, responses to a life filled with trauma, and underneath all of that, Eddie was the gentlest person he knew. Eddie would always be the one who carefully picked up spiders, and bees, if they found their way into the firehouse, or Buck’s apartment, or his own home, and he’d coo gently as he brought them to the window, setting them free before anyone (Buck, usually) could hit them with a stray hardback novel. Eddie liked to garden, a collection of brightly coloured flowers growing in the front bed right outside his porch, Eddie humming to himself as he watered them, the image one Buck hoped would be seared into his memory forever.

Eddie was gentle with Christopher. Buck hadn’t exactly grown up with a father he aspired to be like – Philip had been cold, and distant, and though Buck understood why now, he would never forgive it. Eddie had been through his fair share of heartbreak, and trauma, and yet he still raised Christopher with a gentle hand, guiding his son through life in a way Buck had never experienced himself. He was glad to be able to watch it, though, watch as Eddie learned from his own mistakes, and apologised to Chris, and did better for his son every day. 

Eddie was gentle with Buck.

Buck was a lot, he knew – he was loud, and talkative, and the undiagnosed ADHD he definitely had made it so both of those qualities were amplified when he was stressed, or anxious, which was frankly, a lot of the time. Buck knew he earned his eyerolls and exasperated looks – but never from Eddie. Eddie always listened, attentive and eager to learn as Buck went off on tangent about the latest fun thing he learned. Eddie was the first to suggest a gym session, when he knew Buck was antsier than normal, suggesting they work off some of his nervous energy before their next call.

Eddie had been there after the truck bombing, gentle as he had torn down Buck’s already shaky walls, gentle as he helped Buck in, and out of bed, gentle as he’d helped him shower, shrugging off Buck’s thanks with a ‘you’d do the same for me’ and a smile. 

(Buck would do the same for Eddie – he would do anything for Eddie.)

Eddie was beautiful. Eddie was beautiful when he smiled, when he laughed, Eddie was beautiful in every single conceivable way to Buck –

But this might be the most beautiful Buck had ever seen his best friend.

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[elvensorceress]

wip wednesday

been tagged so many times recently and ily all 💕 life outside the Tumblr has been asjsfdhlkjklads 🫠 recently and idk that I will be around much but I have a little bit of fluffy Buddie cuteness for you. Still forever working on the Unless finale 🫠🫠 @eddiebabygirldiaz @hippolotamus @tizniz @daffi-990 @suavecitodiaz @hoodie-buck @kitteneddiediaz @ronordmann @spotsandsocks @shortsighted-owl @lemonzestywrites @loserdiaz @diazsdimples @your-catfish-friend @thekristen999 @rainbow-nerdss @littlerosetrove @exhuastedpigeon @messyhairdiaz @smilingbuckley @blutterlie @astronaut-karenwilson @spaceprincessem @bekkachaos 💕 to you all

It’s been a whole month. Buck wakes up and Eddie’s still tangled in his arms, and they’ve been together for a month. Four whole weeks. Buck has been able to kiss him and unabashedly love him and he gets to be Eddie’s partner in every way. 

The first thing Eddie does— because of course he woke up first— is prop himself on an elbow and run his fingers through Buck’s hair while smiling down at him. 

Every other thought, feeling, memory, piece of knowledge that has ever been in Buck’s head immediately goes out the window. The way Eddie looks at him, so soft and adoring with so much fondness, no one has ever looked at Buck this way. There are so many years of closeness and affection, so many moments where everything was falling apart but they held onto each other and made it through anyway despite all of it. Eddie looks at him, and Buck doesn’t just feel beautiful and wanted and needed. He knows he’s loved. He knows how deep it goes. He feels how unbreakable this bond is between them. 

When has love ever felt like this? 

Buck grins back at him, sure the look on his face is absolutely stupid with gooey fondness. “Hey, gorgeous.”

Eddie’s smile widens and he does that huff of a laugh thing that happens when he’s incredibly amused. “Hi, love.”

A rush of sugar pours through Buck's veins. They call each other all kinds of things, and Buck loves every one. They’re so— every name is bursts of joy that make his heart stronger, faster, fuller. He doesn’t know how to pick a favorite. But “love” is way up there. One of if not the best. 

Buck tips his head up toward Eddie. “Are you thinking about kissing me? Because I am thinking about you kissing me. I think you should. I really think you should. Since you’re so gorgeous and I’m your love and everything.”

Eddie laughs, actually laughs and it’s the sweetest most incredible sound ever, and then he cups Buck’s face with a large, warm palm and presses their mouths together. It’s not soft. It’s solid, intent, too eager to be controlled. “Happy one month, baby,” Eddie whispers before kissing him again and the bright rush of joy that captures Buck’s heart is too much to handle. 

“The happiest,” Buck grins and giggles like he’s far closer to Chris’ age than his own, like he could be a kid all over again, falling for someone for the first time and reliving every first he’s ever had because he’s never had firsts with so much love behind them. 

Eddie nods and then kisses Buck’s cheek and settles on top of him, tucking his face right against Buck’s. He runs a hand over Buck’s hair until he’s simply cradling him like Buck is precious. It doesn’t feel like anything else. Buck is precious and irreplaceable. Buck is wanted in so many ways. Not just for sex. Not because of what Eddie wants out of Buck. Eddie just loves him and wants him around, which sounds like such a simple, tiny thing, but since when does this happen? When does Buck ever get to feel like this? 

When has love ever been something Buck didn’t have to question? 

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | April 15th-21st 2024

Warning you now that there won't be a recap next week because I'm gonna be on a birthday trip! (hello don't mind me I'm turning 30 this week 🙈). ((now that I think about it I could always post the recap on saturday. oh well. we'll see 😆))

Enjoy!

Complete

i'll fit you inside my future by withmeornotatall/ @chronicowboy (S7E5, BuckTommy | <1K | General): "Why'd you choose that abomination of a coffee for me?" And Buck groans just to hear Tommy laugh. "Really? What even was that?" "Black coffee four sugars," Buck mumbles, kicking a stone across the sidewalk sheepishly. "Jesus, Evan." Tommy's laugh is something special, loud and unrestrained and the sound of sunshine maybe. "Why?"

wild again, beguiled again by Maira/ @mairaiscarrierofthepaperclips (Post-S7E4, BuckTommy | 1K | General): The kiss had taken him out at the knees, a rush of lips and heat and just the barest hint of teeth, the graze of stubble not his own thrilling him in a way like nothing had before. Which was ridiculous, because the kiss hadn’t even been that long. He’d had longer kisses, hotter kisses. Kisses where Buck had very nearly forgotten his own name by the time they’d ended. And yet, this one kiss still had him smiling like a fool. ... or, the one after the kiss.

I gotta get that feeling by elless (Post-S7E5 | 1K | General): Buck watches his mouth as he speaks and the way his adam’s apple bobs when he swallows, and reminds himself to pay attention, because all of this is important. He wants to know everything. OR: what happens at the cafe after Buck's an eager beaver and asks Tommy to be his date at the madney wedding.

The New Normal by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Buck/Tommy/Eddie | 1,7K | General): While he had had a few drinks at the bar, Eddie hadn’t even been tipsy when Buck had blurted out those words: I think I’ve been dating both of you. That statement had settled in the middle of Eddie’s chest and burrowed into its new home, feeling so incredibly right in a way he’d never experienced before. (Part 3 of Buck's Boyfriends)

a good ally by thewolvesof1998/ @thewolvesof1998 (BuckTommy, PWP | 2K | Explicit): Tommy figures out Buck's humiliation kink by accident during sex and they explore it a bit.

everything’s growing in our garden by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Post-S7E5, Pre-Buddie | 2K | Teen): eddie’s growing a garden. buck might be the most firmly planted thing in it.

every part of you (simple as that) by withmeornotatall/ @chronicowboy (BuckTommy, Madney Wedding | 2,8K | General): OR: buck comes out to chris, talks to tommy about the future, has realisations about the past and finds a little peace at the wedding

Lactose Intolerance by Rianne/ @rianneeyre (Drunken Confessions | 4K | Teen): After last night's tequila shots at the karaoke bar, Buck had just gone home and rolled into his too-big, too-comfortable, too-empty bed in his too-quiet loft, and he’d— Texted Eddie. He thinks. The memory is kind of vague.

Tell Me Anything by AnnaNSmith/ @annansmith (Near Death Experience, Love Confession | 5K | Teen): Or, how Buck shattered Eddie's entire world one night by confessing his love to him.

we don't know where this is going now (don't be afraid of heights, let me open your heart wide) by wikiangela/ @wikiangela (Post-S7E5, Tommy POV | 5K | General): Tommy cuts their first date short, but to his surprise he gets a call from Evan just a few days later.

Despite it all, I'm Happy by InsaneJuliann/ @marvelingjules (Established Buddie, Post-S4, Secret Relationship | 6K | Teen): Something's up with Buck, but he's not telling. No one else even seems to notice all the faked smiles and laughter, not like Eddie does. But he's afraid of pushing too hard. He's happier, lately. Chris, his family, the team - and especially Buck - make him happier than he's been in a long time. Eddie doesn't want to put that all at risk. Not now, while it still feels so new. (Part 12 of The Evolution of Buddie)

Be Yours if You'd be Mine by InsaneJuliann/ @marvelingjules (Established Buddie, Post-S4 | 5K | Mature): Things with Buck are good. Sure, Eddie's pretty sure that some days Buck is still hiding something from him, and sure, their relationship is still a secret to their friends. But there are moments where Eddie can only feel how right it is, Buck in his life, with his family and with Chris. And Eddie may not be able to put a word to the feeling he's been having lately, but he knows that his relationship with Buck isn't going anywhere. At least, Eddie was sure of that until he potentially fucked things up. Now, he's not sure where they stand, precisely. He's not sure if he's what Buck really wants, or if Buck's second guessing. They need to talk. The thing is, talking and vulnerability has never been Eddie's strong suit. (Part 13 of The Evolution of Buddie)

somebody i can kiss by Rianne/ @rianneeyre (Christmas, Getting Together, Post-S5 | 7K | Explicit): Buck might be a little touch-starved. And he knew that, but he was not prepared to deal with how the knowledge would interact with his newfound awareness of his crush on—no, realistically, his undying love for Eddie. Because now, whenever he sees Eddie, Buck just wants to shuffle close, bury his face in Eddie’s neck, and hold him. Every second he spends with his best friend, he’s either picturing that, or he’s imagining Eddie’s mouth on his dick, Eddie’s hands on his skin, Eddie’s fingers in his mouth— Anyway. The point is, he should not spend Christmas on a fucking sleepover with Eddie. But he’s gonna.

A Brief Interruption by Leslie_Knope (S7E5 Spec, BuckTommy but Buddie Endgame | 8K | Teen): The restaurant door squeaks again, which Buck ignores, but it’s accompanied by a little noise, just a hitch paired with a small intake of breath, which would be completely unremarkable if not for the fact that Buck has heard that sound a thousand times and would recognize it anywhere. He turns his head, abruptly enough that Tommy’s mouth briefly mashes against his cheek. “Eddie,” Buck says, his voice squeaky and weird. His brain is just pure static, partly from the kiss and partly because Eddie is standing six feet away, eyes wide, staring like he’s never seen him before.

Take These Little Pebbles One by One by giselleslash/ @gigi-gigi (Post-S7E5, Endgame Buddie | 9K | Teen): Eddie tells Buck nothing will change between the two of them, except it does. He feels Buck quickly slipping away so he starts to steal pieces of him back. Literally. Or, the one where Eddie has a couple of come to Jesus moments courtesy of Christopher and Tommy, a bit of an emotional breakdown, and a lot of feelings about Evan Buckley’s dentist appointments and where his socks belong.

all I want (your eyes on mine) by bigfootsmom/ @bigfootsmom (Buck/Tommy/Eddie, PWP | 10K | Explicit): Buck is lying there, Eddie instantly recognizes the head of honey blond curls resting on the arm of the couch. But the head of short brown curls between Buck’s shaking thighs takes a second longer to place. But then they look up, blue eyes going comically wide as they lock onto Eddie. Tommy Kinard is on Buck’s couch. He’s on Buck’s couch between Buck’s thighs with his lips wrapped around Buck’s cock. The one where Eddie yearns, Buck pines, and Tommy just wants to have a good time.

🔥 give your heart and soul to charity by 42hrb/ @exhuastedpigeon (Post-S7E5, Sexuality Crisis | 12K | Teen): “It’s been a while since you asked for an emergency session,” Frank says, voice even as always. “Can I ask what brought this on?” “I think I just dumped god,” Eddie says and then he bursts out laughing. He can’t control it, he knows he sounds manic, like he’s somewhere between laughter and a breakdown, edging closer to the breakdown. “Holy shit I did dump god.” “I’m going to need just a little more than that,” Frank says and his face looks torn between concern and amusement. OR Eddie dumps God, gets some more therapy, accepts parts of himself he was taught to hate, loves his best friend, and loves himself.

Buck up, Buttercup by etlagiapet/ @etlagiapet (Canon Divergent, ~S5 | 14K | Mature): “God, you’d probably make a good writer for an advice column. You’re so earnest and optimistic, and you want to help people literally all the time.” Buck blinks at her, frozen with his beer halfway to his lips. His stomach does this thing, an excited little lurch that happens when he gets ahead of himself, but he can’t help it. He clears his throat and manages to ask, “Uh, really?”

Breaking news: LA firefighters in love by AnnaNSmith/ @annansmith (Taylor POV, ~S5, Getting Together | 19K | General): “In an incredible turn of events firefighter Buckley is alive and mostly unharmed. What could have ended in a devastating tragedy finds its happy ending after all. What an absolute relief that firefighter Buckley made it out alive and that we now see-” Taylor turns around, only to come to a stuttering stop at witnessing the spectacle in front of her “-my boyfriend kissing his best friend.” Or, Taylor gets a second shot at accompanying the 118 for another segment and notices that her boyfriend is a lot closer to his best friend than she remembers.

🔥 drink the river dry by Rianne/ @rianneeyre (Post Shooting, Getting Together | 32K | Explicit): It wasn’t until they were discussing his discharge paperwork and painkiller schedules that it really sunk in for Eddie that Buck would be staying with him and Christopher. That he would be around 24/7 except for his shifts at work. That he’ll sleep on the couch, where he’s been sleeping for days now to look after Christopher. The worst part is that it’s necessary—Eddie isn’t going to be able to do a damn thing for himself for the next couple of weeks. He’s lucky if he can put a shirt on by himself a month from now. Yeah, that’s going to be a problem. Or: Eddie gets shot, breaks up with his girlfriend, and pines like there’s no tomorrow.

🔥 The Heart Opening Sequence by Leslie_Knope (Post-S3, Getting Together | 34K | Mature): Eddie’s handsome, that’s obvious, Buck clocked that the second he met him. Part of him still can’t really believe that the guy he was so threatened by at first ended up as his closest friend, which is why these weird twinges are so unsettling. Buck isn’t sure if they’re real, for one, these odd flashes of what it would be like to lean over and kiss Eddie while they’re watching a movie or brush a hand over his back while they’re in the kitchen. And for two, it’s so far out of the realm of possibility that it’s barely worth thinking about.

🔥 everything (nothing) has changed by bizarrestars (Post-S4, Love Confessions | 48K | Explicit): After Eddie gets shot, Buck confesses his love. From there, things get a little out of hand.

🔥 let it pour out of your soul series by Rianne/ @rianneeyre (Magical Realism AU, Witch Eddie | 3 works | 71K | Complete):

collectively unconsciously composed (S4E6: Jinx | 46K | Explicit): Or: in which the author re-watched Buck Begins and Jinx and thought: what if this was gayer and had actual magic?

that systematic drug (PWP | 5K | Explicit): Eddie’s mouth goes dry when he opens the door and sees Buck. He’s clean-shaven and with his hair carefully styled back, smiling at Eddie sweetly and a little teasingly. Buck is wearing his dark jeans and his light blue v-neck polo shirt, the one that’s tight enough that it shows off the bulge of his biceps and the definition of his pecs and abs. Eddie knows this shirt. Buck's favourite, because he knows he looks good in it.

something binding us together (Established Buddie | 20K | Teen): Or: Eddie plans a long-avoided visit to his parents, discovers some things about his magic, and begins to build his family a home in LA's witching community.

Podfic

🔥 [podfic] tomorrow will always and forever now be today (tomorrow is our always and forever) by Matriaya // fic by @chronicowboy (Post-S6, Time Loop | 5-6h | Mature): "Think I can get a hug from my best man on my wedding day?" he asks, quietly hopeful in a way that makes Eddie want to tear off his skin. "Sure," Chris replies with a shrug, turning to throw Eddie a cheeky grin. "Dad, Buck needs a hug." (OR: eddie gets trapped in a time loop on the day buck marries natalia)

🔥 my certainty is wild, weaving [Podfic] by blackglass/ @blackestglitter for tuckergreeen/ @henwilsonmd (Post-S5A, Hurt Buck | 45-60min | Teen): “Eddie,” Carla says softly. “You could have called. We would’ve met you at the hospital.” He shakes his head. “No. I didn’t—uh. I didn’t go to the hospital.” He feels the way Carla’s hand goes still. “Eddie.” It’s not nearly as soft-spoken this time. “You didn’t go see him? Or Chim? Your team?” “They’re not my team,” Eddie says, almost without thinking. He winces as soon as the words are out. Or: Buck is hurt, Eddie is worried, and everything is broken.

[podfic] i was supposed to sweat you out (i think there's been a glitch) by half_bakedboy/@half-bakedboy // fic by @loserdiaz (Canon Divergent, Fire Academy | 45-60min | Explicit): "What's your problem, man?" "You. You're my fucking problem, Diaz." There were a lot of problems with Eddie Diaz, if you ask Buck. The guy is obnoxiously good at everything without even trying, he's too perfect, too confident. And the biggest problem of them all: Eddie's an attractive asshole that features more often than not in Buck's filthiest dreams. or; The Buck and Eddie meet at the fire academy, rivals to lovers fic.

🔥 Like Any Unloved Thing [Podfic] by ReformedTsunderePodfics/ @film-in-my-soul // fic by @hmslusitania (Urban Fantasy/Noir AU, PI Eddie, Ghost Buck | 1.5-2h | Mature): After the war, Eddie Diaz opened his own private investigation business here in LA and usually he does alright for himself. But this case, the one with the Buckley siblings, is going to crawl under his skin and stay there. It's going to change his life. He has no idea how.

[Podfic] If I Risk It All (Could You Break My Fall?) by liketherestofla, MistMarauder/@gracieryder for Princessfbi/ @princessfbi (James Bond AU | 4.5-5h | Explicit): “This is Buck,” Bobby said when Buck’s tongue refused to unstick from the top of his mouth. “Your new quartermaster.” Eddie’s eyes— brown with just a glint of green if you caught them in the right light— widened before he scanned Buck with another sweeping assessment. “You’re—” Buck had heard it all before. “Not all of us nerds are the skinny kids that used to get picked on in high school.”

🔥 Hot Ghost Problems by ebjameston [Podfic] by Rhea314 (Rhea)/ @rhea314 // fic by @ebjameston (Canon Divergent, S2, Ghost Buck, Witch Eddie | 5-6h | Teen): Eddie is the newest firefighter at the 118. Buck is the ghost haunting the 118. Unfortunately for both of them, Eddie's also a witch and needs to put Buck's spirit to rest, because that's what witches do. Turns out, Buck's spirit? Super not interested in being put to rest. Very interested, however, in flirting with Firefighter Diaz, who is just trying to survive his candidate year. (Also turns out, Buck? Super not dead.)

WIP

Kiss Me Once Cause You Know I Had A Long Night by I_still_dont_understand_13 / @dangerpronebuddie (Prompt collection | 30/? | 19K | Teen): 100 kiss prompts.

30. 70. what if i told you none of it was accidental: An accidental kiss that confuses you both, but only a moment passes before you crash your lips back against each other's

What’s Your Order? by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Post-S7E5, BuckTommy | 3/6 | 6K | Teen): 5 Times Buck Guessed Tommy’s Coffee Order + 1 Time He Didn’t Have To

🔥 Cowboy With a One Track Mind by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergence, Not A Firefighter Buck | 2/4 | 11K | Mature): Spin-off Sequel to Evan Buckley & the Coma-Verse of Madness - Chapter 7 (Land): Grieving and tortured, Evan Buckley has been living alone in Montana in a remote cabin for nearly a decade. After an incident that leaves him missing six months of his life, and suddenly in connection with a group of strangers from Los Angeles, Evan must decide whether to remain in his self-imposed exile, or take a chance at life again.

🔥 Any Other Way by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, S2 | 9/18 | 49K | Mature): In a switcheroo alternate universe, Buck spends young adulthood in the military, while Eddie, who has no idea Christopher exists, spends his twenties messing around, finally enjoying freedom away from his family’s expectations. When they both end up in Los Angeles, at the 118, some things are different, and others will be the same in any universe.

[buddiebeginz]

I have so many thoughts swimming around my head after that ep not sure I'll make much sense but here goes.

My feeling about Eddie cheating is that even if it might not seem like it on the surface it is very much connected to his sexuality (and eventual coming out). It’s also a big warning sign that he’s not in a good place mentally.

Eddie has always tried to do the right thing. He tried to do what Shannon wanted. What his parents wanted. To do right by Chris. He’s been in these very strict positions of the military and firefighter most of his life. Never taking much time to examine who he is and what he really wants. Just doing what he thinks he has to do and should do.

Looking back on how this season has been playing out I’ve noticed that we’ve been slowly watching Eddie let go of all these rules he has for himself. Just look at how he was at the bachelor party. I don’t know if he’s ever really allowed himself to be so uninhibited liked that before. He just let loose and was enjoying being with Buck and at no point was Marisol brought up at all. There was also a lot of queer subtext in those scenes drag queens, Eddie in pink, Eddie as Crockett, Eddie’s shirt getting ripped off by men (including Buck), Buck and Eddie sitting pressed up together.

Before that Eddie was spending a considerable amount of time with T*mmy to the point that he kept ditching Chris to run off and leave his girlfriend to be his babysitter.

Then there was moving Marisol in and back out again while Chris wasn’t even there and without telling him. When the show has made it a point to always show how much Eddie takes Chris’ feelings into consideration especially with his relationships. But that’s the thing Eddie’s mindset this season has become do first think later and damn the consequences.

Now we have Eddie using this woman Kim he just met as a Shannon replacement but more so as a distraction from his girlfriend and just reality in general. Which this whole situation involves Eddie lying and sneaking around and a disregard for everyone’s feelings involved including Buck’s.

I know some might say how out of character this all feels for Eddie but that’s the point he’s changing and this is how it’s manifesting at the moment. Going back to Eddie’s sexuality I feel like before we can get to a place where Eddie can admit he has feelings for Buck (or any guy for that matter) we’re gonna see him spiral a bit to deny it even to himself. To reach for what feels the most safe instead and that’s his relationship with Shannon.

I think Eddie loved Shannon and will always have love for her but they got married more out of Eddie feeling obligated than anything else. Eddie also hides behind his feelings for Shannon. She’s come to be like this security blanket for him which is understandable in a way given how much history they share. She’s connected to his youth and she’s Chris’ mom, there is so much familiarity there but those memories are also keeping him stuck and unable to move forward.

At the end of season 6 Buck almost dies and I think that is really when Eddie started thinking about Shannon again. I also think Buck almost dying made Eddie realize (on some level) how important Buck is to him and that terrified him because he can’t handle losing Buck the way he lost Shannon. There’s also the Chris of it all which was further highlighted in 7x01 when Chris talked about how everyone leaves like his mom did. Some part of Eddie still wants to give Chris this perfect idylic family he thinks he needs when no one will ever replace Shannon and Chris already has two parental figures.

I know we’ve been mostly focused on Buck and his coming out story this season (and rightfully so) but I also think we moved on too quick from how much time Eddie was spending with T*mmy, how they said Eddie and T*mmy were originally going to be paired together, and Eddie’s reaction when Buck came out to him. How he was shocked that Tommy was gay and also seemed to be holding back some feelings. Eddie also immediately went home and told Marisol to move out after that convo.

Now we have Eddie dating Kim (I assume), in a relationship with Marisol, and lying to his best friend and son. Which btw if Eddie and Buck are just friends why does he need to lie to him at all? Is it maybe because Eddie knows that Buck gets him better than anyone and would not hesitate to call him out if he knew what he was doing?

I just think a lot of how Eddie is acting right now is wrapped up in so many feelings he hasn’t dealt with yet. I know from personal experience the more you try and avoid dealing with things the worse it’s gonna get. Eddie also has a lot of past traumas and pains. From his childhood, the army, from his relationship with Shannon and how she died, from guilt over not being there for Chris, from things he’s seen on the job, almost losing Buck, his repressed sexuality. You can’t keep all that bottled forever sooner or later you’ll snap.

Maybe that comes out in the form of trashing the hell out of your room maybe in cheating with your dead wife’s double. Either way Eddie is careening towards having to fully deal with himself and all the things he’s compartmentalized for so long. He’s put himself in a situation which guarantees he can’t run away this time. Because I do think it’s all going to blow up spectacularly in his face. He’s going to have to deal with why he’s still clinging to Shannon. Why he didn’t want to really invest in a relationship with Marisol. Why he can’t commit to all these women yet he’s been committed in one way shape or form to Buck for years now.

Hoping I made some kind of sense here. If you read all of this thanks. ❤️

[beecauseevan]

omg established buddie yes

movie nights!! with chris preferably

Silence permeates the living room, expectant and uncomfortably tense. Eddie shifts in his spot on the couch, cringing when his jeans rasp against the cushions. He steals a glance at Chris, who is transfixed by the images flashing across the TV screen. Next to Chris, just visible over his brown curls, Buck is chewing on his bottom lip. Despite that obvious struggle to keep his big mouth shut, he's not the one who breaks the tense silence.

"Oh man," Chris says. His fingers twitch, like he's fighting the urge to cover his eyes with his hands. "I knew you were old, dad. I didn't know you were ancient."

Buck's laugh is choked and startled and only grows louder when Eddie glares at him over Chris' head.

"That's not—" Eddie starts. "This was already old when I watched it."

Chris tears his eyes away from the TV just long enough to shoot him an incredulous look. "Are you sure?"

"I didn't know you were a nerd," says Buck, who watches documentaries for fun and really doesn't get to talk. "This is all new information."

"I'm not a nerd."

"This is pretty nerdy," Chris argues.

Eddie shakes his head and eats an indignant fistful of popcorn. This is what he gets for trying to educate the youth. 

It's Christopher's fault, really. 

"I want to watch something," he said earlier, at dinner, chewing on Buck's newly perfected version of Bobby's veggie lasagna. "Something with space."

"Star Wars?" Buck suggested, twirling his fork between his fingers. "We haven't watched Episode V in a while."

Disapproval scrunching up his face, Chris shook his head. "We've watched it like a thousand times, though."

"It's a masterpiece," Buck replied, making Eddie—who had introduced him to Star Wars—very proud. "Can't see it too many times."

Eddie didn't add anything to their back and forth, a quietly content observer, warmed from the inside by Buck's lasagna and from the outside by the presence of the two people he cared most about. 

"Or," Buck added, "we can watch Revenge of the Sith, if you want."

"You hate that one," Chris said.

"I don't hate it. I just think the original trilogy is better."

"You're wrong." 

"The original trilogy has Han Solo," Buck said. "And Yoda. And Luke."

"Yoda is in the prequels too," Chris argued. "And the prequels have Jar Jar Binks."

"That's—a good thing?"

Chris shrugged. "He's funny."

Buck glanced at Eddie, who hid his smile in his palm. "He has a point."

Buck's eyes said does he, but of course that's not what came out of his mouth. Buck might be a worse pushover than Eddie, if that is even physically possible.

"Fine," he said, "Revenge of the Sith it is."

"No," Chris sighed, stabbing his fork into the leftovers on his plate. "I want to watch something new."

And Eddie, naive and optimistic wounded heart that he is, suggested something he would soon regret: "I really liked Star Trek when I was a kid. We could check that out."

"The movies?" Chris asked. "We've seen the movies, dad."

Chris meant the new ones, and Eddie didn't have the strength to tell him that he was a little too old to have watched those movies as a kid. He let that comment slide and shook his head. 

"No, the show. The original one. With William Shatner?"

Chris shook his head, and a moment later, so did Buck. Eddie took a moment to picture the horrifiedly disappointed face Chim would make in response to that statement, then moved on. 

"You guys are in for a treat."

He meant it then, too. He really thought they would love it. 

Turns out childhood memories don't always depict reality in all of its grainy, puke-yellow flannelled glory. The show is a lot more rough than he remembers and it doesn't help that he started them off with the first episode of the first season, instead of one of the good ones. He thought this would be a hit and they'd end up watching it regularly, but—well. 

"Why do his eyes look like that?" Chris asks, frowning at the screen. 

Eddie just shrugs—Buck, who has never been able to leave a question unanswered, is already digging out his phone. 

"No googling," Eddie scolds him. "You're gonna ruin the immersion."

Buck waves him off, phone screen lighting up the smirk on his face. 

"I just wanna know why they're wearing pajamas," Chris adds.  

"Wish our uniforms looked like that," Buck says, glancing up from his phone just long enough to smirk at Eddie. "They're probably really cozy."

"Not very cool, though," Chris points out. 

"It's tinfoil," Buck cuts in. "Tinfoil contacts. That's how they got his eyes to look like that."

Chris frowns. "Ew."

"Guys," Eddie complains weakly. "This is a classic."

Buck has the decency to say, "I'm sorry," but the way he mumbles it against his palm, barely concealed laughter coloring his voice, tells Eddie that he's not that sorry at all. 

"You said the same thing about Die Hard," Chris points out. "That was bad too."

Eddie shakes his head, stunned, and looks at Buck, who shrugs. 

"He's not wrong."

"That's it," Eddie decides, while the tinfoil-eyed monsters continue to poach the crew of the Enterprise, "I'm moving out. I bet Chim will take me in."

"More lasagna for me," Chris says, entirely unbothered. 

Buck laughs, loud and clear, and Eddie puts his hands in front of his eyes and pretends, badly and unconvincingly, to be upset. He isn't, he couldn't be, even if this were his favorite piece of media in the whole entire universe as opposed to just a show he used to enjoy as a kid—he couldn't be mad, because it's hard to be upset when you're faced with such stark reminders of why your life is as close to perfect as it could possibly be. Eddie loves that Chris and Buck hate the show, because they hate it together. He loves being the center of their good-natured mockery, because it means they're teaming up on him. They're a family. Eddie's family. And he loves them more than life.

As the episode goes on—and it goes on for ages—Chris grows more and more quiet. When the credits start rolling, he's dozed off. His head is pillowed on Buck's arm and Buck sits perfectly still, which in itself is a little bit of a miracle.

"Think he'll wake up if I carry him to bed?" Buck asks quietly, carefully, like he'd rather stop breathing than disturb Chris, which, knowing Buck, might not be too far from the truth.

"Probably," Eddie says, "I think you're gonna have to move."

"I really don't want to."

"Guess you're sleeping on the couch," Eddie shrugs.

Buck sighs. Then he moves, and Chris blinks awake, yawns, and for a moment he's six again, so small Eddie could delude himself into thinking that all he needed to do was fold him into his arms and the world would never be able to touch him.

Then Chris groans and rubs his eyes and looks around, instantly annoyed in that way only a tired teenager can be, and Eddie is back in the here and now, and he finds he likes it just the same.

"Hey, sleepyhead." Buck pokes Chris' shoulder and Eddie watches, with a smile that almost hurts his cheeks, as Chris rolls his eyes, teenage stubbornness without any sort of sting, because even though he's biologically and socially obligated to find adults annoying and embarrassing, Buck is still his person. "You ready for bed?"

"Yeah, yeah," Chris grumbles.

"I can come with," Eddie offers, and gets the same kind of eyeroll in return, and feels a rush of warmth when he realizes that maybe—maybe he's still Chris' person too. It's been a long road since Kim, but maybe they're getting there.

"I'm not a baby, dad," Chris tells him, straightening up on his crutches. "I can brush my teeth on my own."

"Alright, alright," Eddie relents.

Chris goes off on his own and by the time Buck and Eddie are done with the dishes, the rest of the house is quiet, including Christopher's room. Eddie glances at Buck, standing by the sink, and finds Buck looking back at him. He's wearing yellow rubber gloves and an apron and the smirk on his lips is not entirely innocent. 

"Hey."

"Hey yourself," Buck says, stripping off the gloves in one smooth motion. Eddie wonders what it says about him that that kind of turns him on. "You know, I thought Star Trek was all about homoerotic sexual tension. Didn't feel much of that."

Eddie blinks. "What?"

"Captain Kirk and the guy with the," Buck points at the side of his head, "ears."

Eddie feels a smile coming on and bites down on his bottom lip. He can't be that easy. "You know about that but you don't know who William Shatner is?"

"I have niche interests," Buck tells him, hands finding Eddie's hips. His smile is brilliant. His hands are cold. The sleeves of his hoodie are still rolled up. Eddie loves this man to the core. 

"Hm." Eddie sways closer, wraps his arms around Buck's shoulders, brings their lips together in a lingering kiss. "Boy, do I have the episode for you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Eddie hums. Another warm kiss later, he laces their fingers together and leads Buck back into their living room, turns the TV back on. "This one is called Amok Time."

[daffi-990]

Tease Tidbit Tuesday 🌊

Tagged by @diazsdimples & @tizniz. Be sure to go check out what they shared and send them some love 💕

I’m still trying to finish up Chapter 8 of Rival Firefighters 🚒 but got some Chapter 9 (which is Buck’s POV) inspo today and well … here ya go

Two days had passed since the fateful incident at the pier, but for Buck, each moment felt like an eternity, the weight of guilt and self blame hanging heavy on his shoulders like a boulder, threatening to crush his spirit and consume him whole.

Every time he closes his eyes, memories flash across his eyelids, playing over and over in his mind like a never-ending nightmare - the sight of the tsunami crashing against the pier, the image of Chris's terrified face, the desperate struggle to hold on as chaos crashed into them. Buck can still feel his hold slipping from the fire engine, the fear he saw in Chris’s eyes before he was swept away when the ocean receded.

He had failed Chris and Eddie in the worst possible way.

His best friend had trusted him with his son, the most precious thing he has, and Buck had fucked up.

Big time.

He’s the reason Chris was on the pier when the tsunami hit. The reason Chris will have nightmares and be afraid of an ocean he once loved, the events of that day haunting him in ways for the rest of his life.

How could Buck face Eddie and Chris again without feeling like a failure, knowing that he was the reason that Chris had been in danger?

He should’ve just stuck to their original plans of going to the movies.

Fuck, Eddie is never going to let Buck look after Chris again.

And the thing is, Buck can’t even blame him.

He gets it.

Buck had been responsible for protecting Chris and he’d failed.

No pressure tagging: @hippolotamus @spotsandsocks @wildlife4life @puppyboybuckley @thewolvesof1998 @wikiangela @watchyourbuck @exhuastedpigeon @elvensorceress @eddiebabygirldiaz @epicbuddieficrecs @evanbegins @rainbow-nerdss @rewritetheending @theotherbuckley @try-set-me-on-fire @prettyboybuckley @princessfbi @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @athenagranted @missmagooglie @mellaithwen @monsterrae1 @malewifediaz @nmcggg @bekkachaos @captain-hen @loserdiaz @lover-of-mine @ladydorian05 @steadfastsaturnsrings @spagheddiediaz @devirnis @disasterbuckdiaz @fiona-fififi @fortheloveofbuddie @giddyupbuck @honestlydarkprincess @homerforsure @hoodie-buck @jeeyuns @jesuisici33 and as always, anyone who wants to share something -> consider this your official tag ❤️

[sidekickjoey]

"Hi Chrissy."

Sitting in the cool grass in Hawkins Memorial Cemetery, Eddie watches quietly as the sun shines down on the stone before him. Radiant is the only word that comes to mind as it glistens and stands tall. Then again, no better word could've described Chrissy Cunningham when she was on this Earth, or her smile. It's fitting it would also apply to her grave.

He picks a nearby dandelion and rests it at the base of the stone, just below an engraving of a sunflower - her favorite, he's learned. A few of the fluffy white seeds float up and wisp around the carved petals, giving it life. Motion. It makes Eddie smile.

"I'm sorry I've been sorta' shit about visiting ya'," he says after a moment, a shy little drawl to his voice making him sound quite endearing. Forgivable. "Wayne and I just moved into our new apartment last week and the whole moving in thing's wrecked us. Did you know that man had even more mugs hiding in storage? At least thirty, the maniac!"

He imagines Chrissy's own smile at that one. Sure, she had been scared out of her mind the night she entered his trailer, but Eddie can never forget seeing Chrissy's eyes comically widen at the sight of Wayne's collection of various mugs from around the globe. Most people do as such - even Wayne on some occasions, when he's tired and not prepared to remember his own expensive vice.

Eddie's finger traces the sunflower.

"I wish you could see the place. It's a lot cleaner and bigger than our old shit hole at Forest Hills. Plus, it's got this super big backyard with a tree that I'm thinking of putting a hammock under. I think it'd be a nice spot for writing songs. Isn't that just something, Chrissy?"

A brush of cool air past him has Eddie believing that yes, it is.

He picks another dandelion. Blows the seeds her way.

"I've actually got another something to tell you," he hints, waggling his eyebrows to no one. "It's even crazier than us having a whole house to ourselves, Wayne and I. It might've actually just about blown your mind if you were still around. It's been blowing mine for the last few days, if I'm being totally honest."

The sun brightens on Eddie's back. He takes a deep breath. Steadies himself.

"I, uh...I'm dating Steve Harrington."

The sun continues to shine.

The cool breeze returns.

Life goes on.

Eddie releases his breath.

"I hope you're not like, rolling in your grave below me right now," he chuckles, voice tight and nervy. "I know I'm the biggest hypocrite ever for falling for him, a known jock AND popular kid. It goes against pretty much everything I've stood for or yelled about at lunch. But, it's kind of like what you said about me, Chris. He wasn't what I thought he'd be like. He isn't."

He's way more, as a matter of fact. So much more that it hurts sometimes for Eddie to think about. Makes him question how he got so lucky to meet him, really meet him, in the first place.

"I wish you could see it for yourself," he says softly a minute later, now tracing her name with his pointer finger. "You two probably would've been great friends. He likes sports and doing his hair and goofing around. He's also weirdly good at baking. You were in the baking club, right? I swear I saw you selling gingerbread cookies before Christmastime. The little ones with the candy canes? Right?"

No one answers, but something in Eddie's bones makes that assessment feel right. He looks up to the sky, lets the sun soak into what skin isn't covered up by leather and denim for a minute, and imagines the dreamworld he described. He imagines Chrissy side-by-side with Steve in a kitchen, maybe with Robin if she stuck around or visited during college. He watches them as they get too messy, covered in flour and sticky from dough and icing, and smiles at the fact none of them seem to care. They're all so proud of their work and wanting Eddie to try everything. He can practically hear their laughter, their joy, their lack of care or fear as he does. He lets himself drown in it, just a little. Basks in it.

Stares back at Chrissy's grave seconds later with a piercing twinge of sadness.

Grieves.

Whimpers "You should be here still, Chrissy" to the stone.

Sniffling, he tries to laugh away the tears that have suddenly appeared like a tidal wave. It does no good, though. Not even the sunshine, the beautiful stuff that usually makes Eddie feel so seen and comforted, can whisk them away now that they've begun. He grips tight at his thigh. Desperately tries to ground himself.

"Steve's been reminding me that there was nothing I could do. Says I've been placing too much blame on myself for it all. Maybe I am. It's just that..." he takes a deep breath, "shit, I hate that you were the one made an example of in all of this mess. I'm so sorry I wasn't able to stop it and protect you from Vecna and the Upside Down and all that horrible crap you had no reason to be swept up in because of me. I'm sorry you can't be here and getting your own new boyfriend, or your own degree. I'm so fucking sorry."

A full-on sob hits Eddie then, knocking him off whatever ledge he had been teetering on right into a pit of anxiety and bottled-up sadness. It renders him shaky and a bit blubbery, and as another sob gears up in the pit of his chest, he starts to feel guilty he had shown up in the first place. If he'd just kept his news to himself, hadn't let himself dwell on all the milestones Chrissy would never reach, maybe he would've been okay. Maybe he would feel a little less broken, a little less wrapt with survivors guilt, a little less-

"Hey."

Eddie flips around in a fright to find himself face-to-knee with Steve Harrington.

The boy's face is gentle when he finally works up the courage to meet it. It's the same gentleness that had been there the first time Eddie confessed to wanting to visit Chrissy, and the same that had coaxed him out of the car when his nerves got the best of him. It's also the same that had gazed upon Eddie when he confessed to having a crush, and when he proceeded to say he'd be fine if they never spoke again because he gets why that would not be happy news to hear.

His gaze is somehow never pitying. Always achingly empathetic.

It tears another sob from Eddie.

Carefully, Steve sits down at Eddie's side and wraps an arm around him. His hand soothingly begins to rub up and down Eddie's arm, grounding him the best he can. Eddie leans into it. Hopes Chrissy is okay with having their private conversation shared. Sobs again.

"Hi Chrissy. I dunno if you knew me, but I'm Steve."

Eddie shuts his eyes and buries his face into Steve's shoulder.

"I'm sure Eddie probably already told you, but we're...we're a couple now, so I hope you don't mind me intruding. I know uh...I know he's kinda private about this stuff."

He means Eddie's feelings about Chrissy's death, about Chrissy in general. The whole lot of it. Eddie knows it in an instant - feels the way Steve's grip nudges them closer together in understanding.

"I'm not sure what you were chatting about, but I have something to tell you if that's alright."

Steve pauses.

Bless him, he pauses for the answer that won't come.

Eddie could - no, plans to love him forever for doing something like that for his sake. For Chrissy.

"He's been pretty torn up about you. We all are, but...well, it's hard. I've been through this four times now and that first time is still a lot to think over. But...uh, Robs told me that in movies, ghosts are always like, torn up and stuff about people being sad they're gone. Want them to live their life to the fullest. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm gonna make sure our guy here does that. For you."

Blinking up from Steve's shoulder, Eddie sniffles. "W-What?"

"Yeah," Steve says, keeping his eyes on the stone. "I'll make sure he has reasons to smile and...and reasons to get through the hard times. I'm gonna' be there to remind him what all that's like, okay?"

"Steve..."

"And I know it won't be easy, but...I think it'll be good. For all of us. Ya' know?"

Tears threatening again, Eddie places a small kiss to Steve's cheek. He feels Steve's grip bring him in even more, almost keeping Eddie in his lap. Comforting him. It's more than he could ask for.

The sun shines on him. Eddie feels it again - wills it to help.

"I can't do it all on my own, though. I could use a little divine intervention here and there, if you could spare some."

Eddie almost corrects Steve. He almost says ghosts aren't divine, how that's reserved for angels and God and stuff. But, on second thought, he figures if anyone from Hawkins was granted an angelic afterlife, Chrissy probably was first in line.

Instead, he listens to the beat of Steve's heart.

"But, I'll try. We'll both try. We promise."

"Y-Yeah," Eddie hiccups. "We promise."

Steve smiles into his hair.

"Got anything else you need to say, Eddie? Or do you want to go grab milkshakes somewhere before we head back to your place?"

Blinking his bleary eyes back open, Eddie gazes at the tombstone. Commits it to memory. Pictures Chrissy giggling and telling them to go have fun.

Really, who is he to tell her no?

"Yeah, I think we're good here," he says, finally. He nods once more to Steve and lets him pull him up to his feet, the shaky thing he is. His arm ends up around Steve's waist as they give a final look to Chrissy, and for a moment, he wonders what she must be thinking. He wonders if she is grateful for their promise, or if she is wishing she could have a milkshake with them, too. Eddie hopes, wherever she is, she can go grab one. Enjoy with them, and above them. He'd like that.

And, after today, he thinks Steve might, too.

They hold each other's hand tight as they leave the cemetery.

They hold hands even tighter when Eddie gets a tattoo of a sunflower the very next day.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰

WOOO! 129 for time loop.

Tagging @steadfastsaturnsrings

---

“Yeah, sure,” Buck replies. He feels like he’s been seeing a lot of sea otters lately. He saw them yesterday. Didn’t he? “They’re cute.”

“I know they’re cute,” Eddie nods. “I’m excited to see both of your reactions.”

Buck thinks his reaction today might not live up to expectations. But he follows the script he remembers anyway. 

“Well, then let’s get going,” he says, rolling out of bed. “Wake up Christopher.”

Eddie nods, expression tight. “Yeah. Yeah, let’s do that.”

When Buck stands, stretching his arms above his head, he finds himself staring at the old analog clock on the wall. Hideous thing, really. Still not telling the right time. It reads 12:03. Buck turns to look at the digital clock. 8:03 AM. There’s something about that. He just doesn’t know what. 

➰➰➰➰

Half an hour later, they’re sitting on a big patio eating a complimentary hotel breakfast. Chris looks mildly zombified. Eddie and Buck are both trying to watch each other while they eat, but not look at the other person watching them. It’s strange and tense, and if Chris was any less tired, he’d probably ask them why they’re being weird. 

“View is nice right?” Eddie asks at one point, after taking a small sip of black coffee. 

Buck nods. “Same nice view as yesterday.” 

Eddie’s lip twitches. He looks unhappy, like Buck has said the wrong thing. Buck can’t tell if it’s because he’s being sort of bitchy, or if it’s because he went off the script he can feel playing out in his head. Does Eddie want him to stick to a script? Why would he? Unless he knows. 

Buck narrows his eyes. He needs to see what Eddie knows. 

“We should come back here again,” Buck says, following his sense of what he should say next. But his heart isn’t really in it.. “Some other time. A long weekend wasn’t enough.”

Eddie blinks, like he is surprised by the sudden swerve back onto course. Then, he smiles. And Buck knows that exact smile. Knows it because he knows Eddie. He knows all of Eddie’s smiles like a dream that stays with you forever. He works hard to make them appear, when he needs to. Finds it effortless, other times.

Eddie’s smile is relieved. 

“Anytime you want,” he says. 

Buck could cry. Why is Eddie lying to him? What is Eddie hiding from him? What is going on?

Never, not once since they’ve met, has Buck felt like he can’t trust Eddie. So why can’t he trust him now? 

➰➰➰➰

Buck is very quiet during the entire guided kayaking tour of the estuary.

He’s frustrated and he’s scared. He’s also uncertain. He can’t know for sure, right? He doesn’t know that Eddie is lying to him or keeping things from him. He just suspects. So he watches. He gathers information. He builds his case. 

“When have you kayaked before?” Buck asks Eddie as he teaches Christopher how to paddle, just a little too deftly. He knows he’s heard this answer before. Knows Eddie has told him. How many times can he tell the same tale?

“Huh? Oh, uh… El Paso.” Eddie shrugs.

“El Paso? In the desert?” Buck challenges. 

“There was a lake near my house growing up. Like, the only lake around,” Eddie says. “Had to find things to do.” 

“Okay, so… Over a decade ago?” Buck presses. 

‘

“Well, yeah,” Eddie says. “Wasn’t coming home from Afghanistan for kayaking trips.”

Christopher and their tour guide, Brittany, watch this exchange awkwardly. 

“Don’t you think you’re a little sharp for a decade of not using that skill?” Buck accuses.

Eddie’s mouth parts with surprise at Buck’s tone. 

“It’s muscle memory,” he says. “You don’t forget.”

“No,” Buck says. “I guess you don’t.”

Eddie’s expression tenses. “Buck-”

“Can we go already?” Chris interrupts. “I want to see the otters!”

So they go. And Buck hardly says a word. He hardly looks at the wildlife. All of it just serves to annoy him. 

➰➰➰➰

He and Eddie help Brittany load the kayaks from the beach onto a rack. 

“Thank you!” She exclaims as they’re halting them. “Most visitors don’t stick around to help.”

“Of course,” Buck replies quietly. 

“They’re firefighters,” Chris says. “They lift heavy stuff all the time.”

“It’s true,” Eddie says, sliding a kayak onto the rack.

As soon as Buck puts the last kayak on the rack, he takes several large steps away from the rack. Eddie watches him, eyes bugging out, as he does. 

“Something wrong, Eddie?” Buck asks. 

“No,” Eddie replies. “Why would anything be wrong?”

Brittany frowns. “Well, uh, thanks again for the help, guys.”

They’re making total asses of themselves, and Buck knows it. Yet he can’t quite bring himself to care. Somehow, he thinks he may have the chance to redo this interaction tomorrow. 

Seemingly out of nowhere, but right out of Buck’s gut feeling, there’s  a strange metallic creaking sound, followed by a loud crack. The kayak rack lurches as a leg breaks, sending the top kayak sliding out, fast and hard onto the sand.

“Oh my god!” Brittany exclaims.

“Wow,” Buck says flatly. “That totally could have hit me in the back of the head.”

Eddie won’t look at him. 

[drcloyd]

bucktommy earth day fic

getting this in right under the wire.

pretty as a vine [read on ao3] “Did you know that Los Angeles has one of the most diverse urban forests in the world?” Evan asked, about five milliseconds after Tommy managed to open his eyes to the early morning sunlight.

Evan was already sitting against the headboard.

“I did not know that,” Tommy said, sleep-rough as he wiped a hand over his face and blinked sleep out of his eyes. Evan was bright-eyed and animated, though there was still a pillow crease on his face and he had a serious case of curly bed-head. Instead of hauling him back down onto the mattress and cuddling him back to sleep, he pushed himself into a sitting position and yawned so wide his jaw cracked.

“Chris sent me an article about urban tree planting his class read to get ready for Earth Day,” he said.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, apparently there’s 95 species of tree native to Los Angeles, but thousands more that are non-native,” he said, putting his phone down, obviously reciting the stats from memory. He never could quite predict what scenario was going to bring forth a bunch of random facts from Evan, but he enjoyed it every time.

Also, he learned a lot.

“What else did you find out?” he asked, peppering the question with a closemouthed kiss against Evan’s mouth, just to see the way his cheeks flushed.

Apparently the research hole he’d gone down was too much to fluster him for long, because he barrelled ahead after a brief pause for a sweet little smile. “Did you know there’s three times as many trees planted in rich neighborhoods here in LA than in poor neighborhoods?” he said, a tiny furrow appearing between his brow. “That’s so unfair - do you know how many benefits trees have? They reduce the temperatures in heat deserts and improve air quality - “

Tommy listened as he continued, gesticulating wildly with his hands as he rattled off facts, and couldn’t help the fond smile that crossed his mouth. He hadn’t been lying, Evan was adorable but - it was also some pretty interesting stuff. Listening to one of Buck’s trivia binges inevitably led him down a rabbit hole of his own, though he was far less prone to sharing it than Buck.

He did on occasion attempt to drop them on Eddie - though that usually got him an eye roll and a teasing comment about how much time he was spending with Buck.

“I think we should do something for Earth Day,” Evan said, after going through an exhaustive list of all the ways planting trees in urban areas helped both the environment and citizens.

“You want to plant a tree?” Tommy asked, brow raised, by now leaning against the headboard, close enough that their shoulders pressed together (or more like bumped every few moments with all the gesturing Evan did).

“No - well, yeah - but it’s kind of short notice for that now,” he said. “I did look into some programs planting trees around the city that accept volunteers but there’s orientations and stuff - I was thinking of running it by Cap, seeing if we can make it a station wide thing, or maybe department wide…”

“Okay,” Tommy said, quiet, even, waiting for Evan to circle back around to what he actually wanted to do now.

“I was thinking I could plant something on my balcony. Not a tree, obviously, maybe some flowers for the bees or something?”

“That sounds doable,” Tommy said with a nod. “Is this something you’d like help with?” he asked.

“I - yeah, I mean if you’re offering,” he said. “I was thinking we could go to the home improvement store and get a little flower box and soil and stuff,” he said.

“Alright,” Tommy said, giving Evan’s thigh a little squeeze as he started to slide out of bed. “Get dressed, I’ll get the coffee going and we’ll head out,” he said.

Three hours later, they’d arrived back to the loft with a huge flower box, two bags of potting soil, two sets of gardening gloves, three different species of bee friendly flowers and a succulent Evan had fallen in love with and refused to leave behind.

Hauling it all up to Evan’s floor, even with the elevator, had been a trek, both of them a little sweaty by the time they carried it all across the threshold.

“There’s an information pamphlet in here somewhere,” Evan said, setting his flowerbox (a gorgeous piece in redwood that had cost a pretty penny but would hold up against rot and decay for as long as Evan wanted it on his balcony) on the kitchen island and rooted around inside where he’d put his part of the haul. Tommy put the large box filled with flowers (and the succulent) on the other side of the island.

“Okay, we’ve got some Great Blanket Flowers, otherwise known as Gaillardia aristata,” he said, pulling out a container with a few orange and yellow flowers, setting them beside the flower boxes on the island. “Then -” he squinted at the paper, “Million Bells, otherwise known as Calibrachoa,” a yellow flower with orange on the inside, “and a Sweet Potato vine, otherwise known as Ipomoea batatas,” he said.

“I was there when we bought them,” Tommy said, amused - it’d taken Evan a full forty-five minutes to narrow down the type of flowers he wanted to get, hemming and hawing about what would have the most benefit for bees, which would last the longest, be the most maintenance free - in the end Tommy’d had to wrangle one of the garden center employees over to give some professional advice before Evan well and truly lost himself in a Reddit spiral.

Evan laughed. “Just refreshing your memory,” he said. “Let’s get the flower box out there and then we can add the soil and start planting!” he said, clapping his hands together.

“Yes, sir,” Tommy said dryly, giving a little salute, the corner of his mouth quirking before he hefted up one of the flower boxes to take outside.

It took a bit of work to get them set up against the edge of the balcony, using some of the brackets that came with it (most of the time had been spent trying to find the drill that Evan had said he’d borrowed from Eddie - they’d found it in the hall closet under a pile of sheets).

“How’s that?” Tommy asked, knees clicking as he straightened up, peering down at the flower boxes that now took up most of the length of the balcony railing.

“Perfect,” Evan said, pressing a kiss to his cheek on his way past to grab the bags of soil. He was so much freer with his affection - Tommy knew it’d taken him some time to get used to it, but he always felt a little spark of warmth with every absent brush of his hand or chaste little kiss, just because - Evan had held his hand on the walk from the parking lot to the home improvement store and he’d had to bite the inside of his cheek to tamp down the smile.

Instead of helping, he watched Evan bring the two bags of soil out, arm muscles bulging, though he didn’t look as if he were exerting himself in the least.

“Both bags should be enough,” Evan said, leaving one to heft the other onto his shoulder and carry it toward the closest box. Tommy grabbed the other and did the same, and it only took a few moments to have it filled to an acceptable (to Evan and presumably the flowers) depth.

After procuring some beers, grabbing the flowers, and then going back inside to grab the two pairs of gloves, they were ready to start planting the flowers. Evan stood back, eyeing the box like a sculptor about to start chisling some marble. Tommy watched, amused and annoyingly fond, as he paced the length of the box, looked back to the box of flowers, and then back again.

“Let’s start with the Great Blanket Flowers,” he finally said after a long moment, giving a decisive nod. Tommy grabbed the flowers from the box - they’d gotten three large ones in separate pots, and set them on the ground next to where Evan had knelt down, gloves already on.

Tommy donned his, kneeling down, ignoring the cracking of his knees, and let Evan take the lead.

“I think they’d look best here at the front,” he said. Tommy nodded - he didn’t have a particular eye for flower arrangements, but he trusted Evan’s judgment. Also, he honestly didn’t think the bees would care one way or the other.

They worked in companionable silence to gently uproot the flowers from their pots, careful not to snag any of the roots. Evan dug some holes with his gloved hand deep enough to easily cover the roots, the soil easily moved. Tommy placed one of the bunches into a hole, patting the soil down around it and let Evan do the other two, reaching for his beer as he watched the careful way Evan handled the plants, even with the unwieldy gloves on.

There was a look of concentration on his face, and Tommy kind of wanted to kiss away that little furrow between his brow. He took a pull of beer instead, setting the bottle down as Evan patted down the last bit of soil.

“There. I think those look good there.” Tommy hummed in agreement. “The sweet potato vines should probably go along the back so they can drape down off the balcony when they grow, and we can fill in the Million Bells in around them?” he said, as if Tommy might have another idea about possible flower arrangements.

He didn’t.

Tommy helped, but mostly just sat back on his heels and watched as Evan arranged the flowers to his liking, his tongue occasionally peeking out between his teeth as he held the flowers in different spots before committing to their final resting place.

When the last flower had been put in place, Evan eased himself back onto his heels, close enough that Tommy could feel the heat of his body, sunwarm and shining faintly with perspiration.

“Looks good,” Tommy said approvingly, though his gaze wasn’t stuck on the flowers. Evan’s was though, a smile lighting up when a bee buzzed by and headed straight for the Blanket Flowers. He watched it for a while, and Tommy watched him watching it, before Evan seemed to tense a little, glancing over at him.

“Hey,” he said, sounding oddly insecure. “Thanks for doing this with me,” he said, eyes bright, as if he imagined Tommy would have agreed to come if he hadn’t wanted to. Tommy didn’t do things he didn’t want to do. He hoped in time he could get Evan to believe that.

“Of course,” Tommy said, leaning forward to kiss him, soft and sweet, forgetting his hand was still gloved as he brought it up to rest against his chin. Evan kissed him back, and when he pulled back he had a smudge of dirt on his jaw.

Tommy grinned, taking his glove off so that he could wipe the smudge away with his thumb.

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”

[thatnamewill-probably-change]

So I was rewatching Eddie Begins and (this isn’t going to be the most eloquent so hold on) when Eddie is drowning and all the memories are flashing before his eyes, they use the song ‘Carry You’ by Ruelle. This song is the same song they use in MayDay in season 5 when the team goes to save Bobby and May.

What makes this so cool to me is that when it comes to both scenes, both men have dealt with a reality where they thought they wouldn’t be able to have a proper family; Bobby because of losing Marcy, Bobby Jr, and Brook (and not wanting to overstep w/Athena and the kids) and Eddie because of Shannon and his parents and his own struggles of feeling inadequate and not wanting Christopher to suffer, so putting up a wall of some sorts.

So in Eddie Begins, the song swells when he has decided to keep going. He keeps going despite being at deaths door because he doesn’t just have Christopher (although thats the main part of it) , he has an entire family that he and Chris are a part of and he accepts that. That he has a family that loves him

Bobby sees May as a daughter but doesn’t necessarily expect her to see him the same way as a dad. Also, while he has gotten 100x better ever since his infamous, “We’re not a family” in season 1, he still has that doubt when it comes to his team; 2021-22 had been hard on his team, the family aspect of it especially crumbling and he has been having to hold it together. But then he’s in danger, and as the song swells, his family which had been broken reaffirms that they are family that he is a crucial member of it, and they pull him and May out (and we get the scene of May affirming that this is her dad).

And at the same time we also get Eddie, who tore himself from his family because he thought it was the right thing to do (because of overwhelming trauma about to pop off like mentos in soda) coming back to his family and realizing that is where he is meant to be.

Anyway, Bobby and Eddie being mirrors of each other makes my chest fill with emotions and they both get families and happiness and I thank god for the 9-1-1 writers we have.

[mintedwitcher]

I think that this episode showed without any doubt that Eddie loved Shannon. He didn't love the idea of her, he didn't just do the right thing, he isn't a closeted case because he married young to the first girl he has been with, he loved her deeply. He only figured it out too late, when he couldn't love her like she deserved and that's is what he's lamenting. I think the fandom gives Shannon so much sh!t. They often act like she was the most horrible person, like she left her son because she was tired of him not because Eddie never put her and her needs in mind at all.

Eddie deserves to be loved and he made a lot of mistakes that don't define him, but it's also unfair to act like he was without faults in their marriage. But Shannon, she is loved and she is understood. I think it's time the fandom let go of the idea of "perfect, victim Eddie" and recognise that Shannon too was only human. (Obviously this is an opinion and you're free to ignore it or disagree with it but as a disabled person myself I thought it's important to be said)

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Say it again and say it louder nonnie you're absolutely correct.

Shannon and Eddie, despite their faults and failings, truly loved each other. I really believe that they were a case of "right person, wrong timeline."

They both screwed up, they both made mistakes. They both ran from one problem only to cause another. They were so young and under so much pressure, but underneath the fights and the arguments and the bitter words and the running... they loved each other.

Shannon was the love of Eddie's life. And Eddie, I think, was the love of Shannon's life, too.

We're quick to lay the blame on Shannon for leaving but I think people forget why she left.

She was being constantly criticised and torn down by Eddie's parents. Constantly belittled and berated and undermined when it came to caring for her own son. She didn't have anyone in her corner. And when Eddie got back, he was so twisted up and angry about the war and everything he'd done and seen and survived, he couldn't see how fast she was sinking until it was too late to pull her back up to the surface. They were both sinking. Both drowning under the pressure and expectations and obligations of their lives, their family that began all too early.

They both ran away.

But it's no coincidence that Eddie chose LA to run to. LA was where Shannon was. He didn't know where, or what she was doing. If she'd moved on. But he ran towards her anyway. And they collided, burning too bright with all of that love turned bitter through time and separation, and they burned each other, they burned out.

And still, when there was even an inkling of a chance to do it all again, Eddie grabbed it with both hands.

He loved her. He just didn't realise how much he loved her until loving her wasn't an option anymore. Until he lost her completely to something so much more permanent than a divorce.

They loved each other. They broke each other's hearts. They hurt each other. They healed each other. They're married. They're not exes but they're not together and there's no way to fix that.

And now Eddie has to go on living like that, somehow, for himself and for Chris and for the memory of the girl he fell in love with and the woman he married.

She was the love of his life. She deserves to be recognised as such.

[morganski-19]

Ok, so I've done a little research and rewatches of the previous midseason finales, and I think I have a few ideas of where this could go.

Firstly, no NDE. If there is a NDE, which I still think is very possible this season, it's most likely going to occur after the mid-season break. I went back and looked at all of the episodes that have the big, most memorable NDEs from all the characters, and all of them are after the mid-season break or early at the beginning of the season. So, while I do think this foreshadowing is going somewhere, it's not going to happen next week.

So, where does that leave us?

We know a few things from the articles that were released this past week (I'll link the ones I'm talking about in case you want to read them yourselves). One, that loose ends are going to be tied up from the last 8 episodes. Two, that there is not going to be a big cliffhanger, but that one character will be hanging off a cliff. And three, that there is going to "Wait what now? What did you say? moment.

Those are really the big ones. There were a few other things like the actor who plays Brad saying that him and Eddie have a connecting moment in the next episode, which I think can play into one of the things I'm going to talk about.

And really, anything that I read in an article I take with a grain of salt. They can't tell us exactly what's going to happen, and also have misdirected multiple times in the past. Whether that be intentional or unintentional. However, there are some things in the above articles that I think have some truth.

In the previous midseason finales, a good majority of the storylines of the first half of the season were wrapped up. They played their part, and provided the characters a chance to move forward in the next half of the season.

Just some examples. In the s2 finale, Eddie reintroduced Shannon to Christopher, ending that particular conflict between them. In s3, Bobby got his test results from that radiation exposure, and Maddie confronts the memory of Doug again to let him go. In season 4, Eddie tells Chris about Ana, and Maddie and Chimney discuss birth plans. All of these things both close certain parts of their storylines, while open up continuation points for the second half.

Then, toward the end of the episode, there is something that acts as a cliffhanger to keep the audience entertained over the break. Most of the time, it is something that happens to a singular character, and isn't as large as a NDE or giant conflict.

Again, some more examples. In s2, Doug reappears pretending to be Jason Bailey. In s3, we find out that Michael has a brain tumor. In s4, Buck is reintroduced to Taylor and they decide to become friends. s5, Eddie leaves the 118. s6 Wendall is killed. And then in s7, even though a short break, Buck invites Tommy to the Madney wedding.

All things that compel the audience to continue watching, while also not being gigantic cliffhangers where the character's life is immediately in danger.

So, where does that leave us for s8?

There are only two main things that haven't been wrapped up, or really talked about, since the beginning of the season. Bathena's house, and Chris in Texas.

And one of these things has actually been discussed in an interview with Peter after episode 7, where he says that won't be discussed until after the hiatus. Or at least "he didn't know anything about it yet". Which yeah, that could be a misdirect. But I couldn't see that being the big thing that leaves someone hanging off a cliff. It's just too inconsequential and also involves two characters instead of one.

This leads me to the other unwrapped plot point, Christopher. Who has basically been MIA since the first episode, except for little nods here and there from Eddie. And honestly, that pisses me off. There has only been a little growth from Eddie while Chris was gone, something that was promised as an opportunity for Eddie to realize who he is.

It's safe to say that I really hope that Eddie is the one left on the cliff hanger next episode. I initially wanted Chris to be the one to initiate a phone call with Eddie, extending his side of the olive branch, but I'm not so sure that's the direction they're going in anymore.

Jumping away from that for a moment, I want to address that possible conversation between Brad and Eddie. Assuming that this scene doesn't get cut for time (which they have been doing with a few scenes talked about in episodes recently), I have a strong inkling that it could be about estranged kids. Brad mentioned having a bunch of ex-wives, it wouldn't be a stretch to say that he has a child with one of them. And given how he treated the waitress in the last episode, it would not surprise me if he treated the mother horribly, and also did not step up as a parent.

I think that route could be interesting for Eddie since it would maybe remind him of his father. And therefore, all the ways he tried to be better than his father. It could make him want to take a step forward, now that he is learning to not punish himself for this, and try to reconnect with Chris again.

Which I think will lead to the hanging off the cliff moment, as well as the "wait what" moment.

I don't think Eddie's going to be able to connect with Chris, but his mother. And his mother is going to say that Chris wants to stay with them a little longer, further continuing her path of keeping Chris away from Eddie.

And then in a perfect world, Eddie gets his ass on a plane to talk to his son face-to-face because he can't trust his mother to be the main method of communication. But who the fuck knows if that is actually going to happen.

They've also, from what I've heard, finished filming ep 9. Which probably doesn't mean a lot, but it makes me think that some scenes in ep 9 might need to be filmed with how they look in ep 8 for continuity reasons. Or maybe it was just a contract thing, idk. Again, probably meaningless but that is weird.

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Favorite Buddie Fics (so far!)

Hi 911 fam!

This has been way, waaaaaaay past overdue. The weewoo show got a hold of me last May and, for some reason, I resisted making a fic rec blog about it. I think I was kind of in disbelief that I, a serial long-term monoshipper, had adopted a second new ship in less than a year 😆 But it seems like I'm a sucker for a good Best Friends to Lovers, Found Family, Trauma Bonding vibe!!

I figured I ought to start off this blog with my favourite fics I've read so far. These are the ones that are, to me, the most memorable, that I've already re-read once (or twice!) in the last few months. I absolutely love them!

I'm going to try and start making recs here a bit more often! In the meantime, if you want more fics I've enjoyed, you can have a look at my ao3 bookmarks here. You can also find me on Twitter and Bluesky @/epicficrecs !

I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think about those fics and what are YOUR all time favourites? 😊

Being Eddie by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Time Travel, Post-Season 6, Getting together | 80K | Teen): When Eddie starts seeing a new therapist, he’s presented with the opportunity to revisit several days from his past and right regrets that still bother him. OR: Eddie goes through the time travel therapy process of the 2009 Canadian TV show Being Erica.

Evan Buckley & The Coma-Verse of Madness by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Coma AU, Multiverse | 58K | Teen): After being struck by lightning on a call, Buck experiences a plethora of alternate realities showing him different directions his life could have taken. Fighting hard to get home, Buck learns what, or who, is important to him in every lifetime.

Your Scars and Your Lonely Heart by Taste_is_Sweet (Sentinels AU, Canon Divergent - Tsunami | 82K | Teen): Clara Williams just wanted to visit Pacific Park during her layover in Los Angeles. She never expected to find a young, exceptional Sentinel dying for lack of a bond. Actually, what she really never expected was a tsunami, or the same Sentinel to save her life. But Clara's a Guide, so now she's on a mission to keep Evan "Buck" Buckley alive until she can get him to Eddie Diaz, the Guide who should have bonded with him, but didn't. Because Clara can't bond with Buck, no matter how much she wants to. There's just one problem: Buck's convinced Eddie doesn't want him, and he might not survive long enough to find out the truth.

let the world have its way with you by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Post-Coma AU | 54K | Explicit): or, a bucket list that’s really about buck needing to make a change and an eddie who’s ready to do anything to see him fall in love with life again. it takes some crossing off for eddie to realise—the thing at the top of the list in his own heart? it’s been right here all along

Leave the Light On (I'll Be Coming Home) by HMSLusitania/ @hmslusitania (Canon Divergent, Amnesia AU, Post-Season 5 | 44K | Mature): An accident on a call leaves Buck with custody of Chris after Eddie is... missing presumed. While they navigate their new family circumstances -- and fight to stay together, despite Eddie's parents' best efforts -- a John Doe wakes up in a coma ward with no memory of his own life beyond the knowledge he has a son named Christopher and, somehow, he needs to get home.

Leading with the Left by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Canon Divergent, Different First Meeting, Stripper Buck | 84K | Explicit): When Buck said he was a "bartender" in "South America" what he actually meant was "stripper" in "Mexico." And when Eddie said, "What's your problem?" what he actually meant was, "Is this about the time you gave me a lap dance?" In other words, there's a few things the 118 doesn't know about Buck. Or Eddie. Or Buck and Eddie's relationship.

for all the haunts and homes of men by euadnes/ @kananjarus (Canon Divergent, Post-Apocalyptic, Station Eleven Crossover | WIP | 9/? | 69K | Mature | Warning: Violence): The year by the old calendar is 2025. Home is gone. Home is a failed rescue mission and an echo of a memory. Home is a lost boy living in a wooden house by the sea. But first, there was a promise. Christopher, when it's safe, I'll take you back to your father. Buck had all but given up on keeping it after the world had died and everyone in it. But just as some oaths refuse to be forgotten, so the same can be said about the endurance of love.

(yes I put a WIP there because it's just that good)

[bish-plz-haha]

I haven't seen any posts about this so I wanna make it; bare with me as I'm not sure my thoughts will be entirely coherent and understandable (this Pennsylvania summer heat got my brain melting, no joke).

So I rewatched the Lightning strike ep and the coma ep, and I found something quite interesting on my watch-through (as well as watching some edits of buddie on tiktok). So I've been thinking: why was everyone else in Buck's coma dream but Eddie. Eddie is one of the closest people to Buck. So why wasn't he there?

I'm not sure if this will make any sense, but the coma ep is basically Buck living out a dream where everything was fine and he grew up with his brother and parents and sister.

Now almost everyone except Eddie and Athena were in his dream. All completely different people: Bobby was an alcoholic and drug addict (at least that seemed my take from the ep), Maddie was still playing happy wife to dickbag, Chim and Hen were friends and firefighters but they had NO CLUE who he was, his parents were actually kinda nice and supportive of him (kill me now. That's nice and all but I hate them so much). And even Chris was there at the end of the ep, though he didn't particularly recognise Buck. He sounded lost, and like he was asking a stranger for help, not his best friend.

Now when 'Daniel' tells Buck when he wakes up, "Next time you go up a ladder, have someone there to spot you." And, as we know, Buck replied with, "I did," we get kinda a quick flashback to the ep previously to kinda remind the audience what happened. We kinda see a quick flash of Eddie hooking him up and hear his voice saying "go get em cowboy" (the implication of that is another thing in and of itself if we're being honest).

Now, why would Eddie not be in Buck's coma dream?

Honestly, with Buck being able to 'remember' he went up the ladder with a spot (AKA Eddie), I don't think he really had a reason to hold on to him. He already remembered him as he was- in uniform, doing his job, and having Buck's back ("You can have my back any day").

He has all these people in his dream because he's trying to hold on to them. To remember who they are, not necessarily how they are, just who. His central nervous system had a jolt and he was clinically dead for 3 minutes (and 17 seconds, courtesy of Eddie counting the time it took for them to get him down and start compressions: you cannot convince me that that man didn't mentally count each passing second from the moment he realised Buck had been struck and was dangling from his safety line to the time he got Buck down and placed onto the stretcher). That's a lot for someone's system to take. His brain lost a lot of oxygen in that time: and, speaking generally, when the heart stops for a good amount of time (being about 2 and a half minutes or more since the brain can take only about 5 minutes without oxygen before permanent brain damage without CPR), the chemical makeup starts to change because your brain is basically sending signals to the body that it may be dying and it might be time to shut down the body too. To go into a permanent slumber (hence the "superpowers," which is a real thing. Though a lot of people, including myself (it's my fun fact about myself: surprise! I've died), develop a "sixth sense" if you will).

So back to my main point; why Eddie wasn't in the coma dream.

Buck's subconscious already remembered Eddie. He may not have remembered his face or anything, but he most definitely remembers him. He remembers key things about him. There's no need for Buck's brain to conjure up a version of Eddie because he's already significant enough. He is the only one we hear and see that Buck actually remembers being there for him. The shot they replayed as his memory was solely of Eddie and himself. Yes, Chim was in the background but he wasn't the focus of the shot. He was barely visible. And, again, we only hear Eddie's voice.

Idk maybe I'm crazy thinking about this but I'm at work, I'm bored. And it's been on my mind for a few days now.