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thewriteadviceforwriters · 4 months ago

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The Telling Truth: When 'Show, Don't Tell' Doesn't Apply (You Don't Always Have To Show, Don't Tell.)

Hey there, fellow writers and beloved members of the writeblr community! 📝✨

Today, I want to talk about something that's been on my mind lately, and I have a feeling it might resonate with many of you too. It's about that age-old writing advice we've all heard a million times: "Show, don't tell." Now, don't get me wrong – it's great advice, and it has its place in our writing toolbox. But here's the thing: it's not the be-all and end-all of good writing. In fact, I'd argue that sometimes, it's perfectly okay – even necessary – to tell rather than show.

First things first, let's address the elephant in the room. The "show, don't tell" rule has been drilled into our heads since we first picked up a pen (or opened a Word document) with the intention of writing creatively. It's been repeated in writing workshops, creative writing classes, and countless craft books. And for good reason! Showing can create vivid, immersive experiences for readers, allowing them to feel like they're right there in the story.

But here's where things get a bit tricky: like any rule in writing (or in life, for that matter), it's not absolute. There are times when telling is not just acceptable, but actually preferable. And that's what you all will explore today in this hopefully understandable blog post.

Let's start by breaking down why "show, don't tell" is so popular. When we show instead of tell, we're engaging the reader's senses and emotions. We're painting a picture with words, allowing the reader to draw their own conclusions based on the details we provide. It's a powerful technique that can make our writing more engaging and memorable.

For example, instead of saying "Sarah was angry," we might write, "Sarah's fists clenched at her sides, her jaw tight as she glared at the broken vase." This gives the reader a clearer image and allows them to infer Sarah's emotional state.

But here's the thing: sometimes, we don't need or want that level of detail. Sometimes, efficiency in storytelling is more important than painting an elaborate picture. And that's where telling comes in handy.

Imagine if every single emotion, action, or piece of information in your story was shown rather than told. Your novel would probably be thousands of pages long, and your readers might get lost in the sea of details, losing sight of the main plot or character arcs.

So, when might telling be more appropriate? Let's explore some scenarios:

Summarizing less important events: If you're writing a story that spans a long period, you don't need to show every single day or event. Telling can help you summarize periods of time or less crucial events quickly, allowing you to focus on the more important parts of your story.

For instance: "The next few weeks passed in a blur of exams and late-night study sessions." This sentence tells us what happened without going into unnecessary detail about each day.

Providing necessary background information: Sometimes, you need to give your readers some context or backstory. While you can certainly weave this information into scenes, there are times when a straightforward telling of facts is more efficient.

Example: "The war had been raging for three years before Sarah's village was attacked." This quickly gives us important context without needing to show the entire history of the war.

Establishing pace and rhythm: Alternating between showing and telling can help you control the pace of your story. Showing tends to slow things down, allowing readers to immerse themselves in a moment. Telling can speed things up, moving the story along more quickly when needed.

Clarifying complex ideas or emotions: Some concepts or feelings are abstract or complex enough that showing alone might not suffice. In these cases, a bit of telling can help ensure your readers understand what's happening.

For example: "The quantum entanglement theory had always fascinated John, but explaining it to others often left him feeling frustrated and misunderstood." Here, we're telling the reader about John's relationship with this complex scientific concept, which might be difficult to show effectively.

Maintaining your narrative voice: Sometimes, telling is simply more in line with your narrative voice or the tone of your story. This is especially true if you're writing in a more direct or conversational style.

Now, I can almost hear some of you saying, "But wait! I've always been told that showing is always better!" And I completely get it. I'm a writer myself and prioritize "Show, Don't tell." in my writing all the time. We've been conditioned to believe that showing is superior in all cases. But we can take a moment to challenge that notion.

Think about some of your favorite books. Chances are, they use a mix of showing and telling. Even the most critically acclaimed authors don't adhere strictly to "show, don't tell" all the time. They understand that good writing is about balance and knowing when to use each technique effectively.

Take, for instance, the opening line of George Orwell's "1984": "It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen." This is a perfect blend of showing and telling. Orwell shows us it's a bright, cold day (we can imagine the crisp air and clear sky), but he tells us about the clocks striking thirteen. This immediate telling gives us crucial information about the world we're entering – it's not quite like our own.

Or consider this passage from Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice": "Mr. Bennet was so odd a mixture of quick parts, sarcastic humour, reserve, and caprice, that the experience of three-and-twenty years had been insufficient to make his wife understand his character." Here, Austen is clearly telling us about Mr. Bennet's character rather than showing it through his actions. And yet, it works beautifully, giving us a quick, clear insight into both Mr. Bennet and his wife.

The key is to use both techniques strategically. So, how can you decide when to show and when to tell? Here are some tips:

Consider the importance of the information: Is this a crucial moment in your story, a pivotal emotion, or a key piece of character development? If so, it might be worth showing. If it's more of a transitional moment or background information, telling might be more appropriate.

Think about pacing: If you want to slow down and really immerse your reader in a moment, show it. If you need to move things along more quickly, tell it.

Evaluate the complexity: If you're dealing with a complex emotion or concept, consider whether showing alone will be enough to convey it clearly. Sometimes, a combination of showing and telling works best for complex ideas.

Consider your word count: If you're working with strict word count limitations (like in short stories or flash fiction), telling can help you convey necessary information more concisely.

Trust your instincts (Important): As you write more, you'll develop a feel for when showing or telling works better. Trust your gut, and don't be afraid to experiment.

Now, let's talk about how to tell effectively when you do choose to use it. Because here's the thing: telling doesn't have to be boring or flat. It can be just as engaging and stylish as showing when done well. Here are some tips for effective telling:

Use strong, specific language: Instead of using vague or generic words, opt for more specific, evocative language. For example, instead of "She was sad," you might write, "A profound melancholy settled over her."

Incorporate sensory details: Even when telling, you can include sensory information to make it more vivid. "The room was cold" becomes more engaging as "A bone-chilling cold permeated the room."

Use metaphors and similes: These can help make your telling more colorful and memorable. "His anger was like a volcano ready to erupt" paints a vivid picture without showing the anger in action.

Keep it concise: One of the advantages of telling is its efficiency. Don't negate that by being overly wordy. Get to the point, but do it with style.

Vary your sentence structure: Mix short, punchy sentences with longer, more flowing ones to create rhythm and maintain interest.

Remember, the goal is to create a seamless narrative that engages your reader. Sometimes that means showing, sometimes it means telling, and often it means a artful blend of both.

It's also worth noting that different genres and styles of writing may lean more heavily on one technique or the other. Literary fiction often employs more showing, delving deep into characters' psyches and painting elaborate scenes. Genre fiction, on the other hand, might use more telling to keep the plot moving at a brisker pace. Neither approach is inherently better – it all depends on what works best for your story and your style.

Now, I want to address something that I think many of us struggle with: the guilt or anxiety we might feel when we catch ourselves telling instead of showing. It's easy to fall into the trap of second-guessing every sentence, wondering if we should be showing more. But here's the truth: that kind of constant self-doubt can be paralyzing and ultimately detrimental to your writing process.

So, I want you to understand and think: It's okay to tell sometimes. You're not a bad writer for using telling in your work. In fact, knowing when and how to use telling effectively is a sign of a skilled writer.

Here's some practical ways to incorporate this mindset into your writing process:

First Draft Freedom: When you're writing your first draft, give yourself permission to write however it comes out. If that means more telling than showing, that's absolutely fine. The important thing is to get the story down. You can always revise and add more "showing" elements later if needed.

Revision with Purpose: When you're revising, don't automatically change every instance of telling to showing. Instead, ask yourself: Does this serve the story better as telling or showing? Consider the pacing, the importance of the information, and how it fits into the overall narrative.

Beta Readers and Feedback: When you're getting feedback on your work, pay attention to how readers respond to different sections. If they're engaged and understanding the story, then your balance of showing and telling is probably working well, regardless of which technique you're using more.

Study Your Favorite Authors: Take some time to analyze how your favorite writers use showing and telling. You might be surprised to find more instances of effective telling than you expected.

Practice Both Techniques (Important): Set aside some time to practice both showing and telling. Write the same scene twice, once focusing on showing and once on telling. This can help you develop a feel for when each technique is most effective.

Now, let's address another important point: the evolution of writing styles and reader preferences. The "show, don't tell" rule gained popularity in the early 20th century with the rise of modernist literature. But writing styles and reader tastes have continued to evolve since then.

In our current fast-paced world, where people are often reading on devices and in shorter bursts, there's sometimes a preference for more direct, efficient storytelling. This doesn't mean that showing is out of style, but it does mean that there's often room for more telling than strict adherence to "show, don't tell" would allow.

Moreover, diverse voices in literature are challenging traditional Western writing norms, including the emphasis on showing over telling. Some cultures have strong storytelling traditions that lean more heavily on telling, and as the literary world becomes more inclusive, we're seeing a beautiful variety of styles that blend showing and telling in new and exciting ways.

This brings me to an important point: your voice matters. Your unique way of telling stories is valuable. Don't let rigid adherence to any writing rule, including "show, don't tell," stifle your natural voice or the story you want to tell.

Remember, rules in writing are more like guidelines. They're tools to help us improve our craft, not unbreakable laws. The most important rule is to engage your reader and tell your story effectively. If that means more telling than the conventional wisdom suggests, then so be it.

As I wrap up this discussion, I want to leave you with a challenge: In your next writing session, consciously use both showing and telling. Pay attention to how each technique feels, how it serves your story, and how it affects the rhythm of your writing. You might discover new ways to blend these techniques that work perfectly for your unique style.

Writing is an art, not a science. There's no perfect formula, no one-size-fits-all approach. It's about finding what works for you, your story, and your readers. So embrace both showing and telling. Use them as the powerful tools they are, and don't be afraid to break the "rules" when your instincts tell you to.

Remember, every great writer started where you are now, learning the rules and then figuring out when and how to break them effectively. You're part of a long, proud tradition of storytellers, each finding their own path through the winding forest of words.

Keep writing, keep growing, and keep believing in yourself. You've got this!

Happy writing! 💖✍️ - Rin T.

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pinescent-and-gingerbread · 4 months ago

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˖✧ Through my eyes

✦ Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Fem!Reader ✦ Summary: Karen explains Mary and Arthur's story to you. Saddened, you're convinced you could never compete with her until the man in question proves you wrong. ✦ Warnings/Tags: Self-depreciation from both sides, kissing, comfort, fluff. Reader has been with the gang for a year. Use of Y/N. ✦ Words: 3k ✦ a/n: This is the answer to this ask by the lovely @crystalofmoon19. I really hope you'll like it, dear! And thank you for your support, you've been really sweet to me and my work! As always, I got carried away and wrote way too much. And as always, please reach out to me if you spot any misspellings. Also idk why I made this in Colter, guess I just feel way too hot rn and want some fresh snow + Arthur's coat is perfect for comfort. Credits. Arthur's pic is from my playthrough. Other pics are not mine found them on Pinterest. AO3

“And in the end, she rejected his proposal, then a few months later, sent him a letter telling she was marrying some wealthier gentleman!”

Your mouth hangs open in the air. Karen’s words enter through your ears and create a nice little nest for themselves in your brain. You had no idea. No idea Arthur had been this close to being married. That their relationship had been so strong, that, according to hearsays, he had reached his lowest after their break up, drunk most part of the day, fighting the rest of the time, obnoxious to everyone, even Dutch and Hosea.

“Y/N? You’re okay, there?” Karen asked you, disappointed her big reveal had left you reactionless.

You focused your gaze back on her. Her blonde hair is softly litten up by the setting sun, her breath exhaling a puff of steam as she breathes. Colter is a cold place, and it probably felt even colder because of the morose mood of the gang. You suddenly remember you’re supposed to be shocked. You are, of course, but in a very bad way. Not in an “Oh my God, I can’t believe this Karen, so much gossip!” kind of way.

How could you ever compete with that?

“Yeah, I’m alright. God, I had no idea so much happened between them.”

“Oh, trust me, it was definitely his biggest love story. Never saw him get into someone else after her. Not even Mary-Beth! Could you believe that?”

No, you couldn’t. You weren’t sure why but every word from Karen felt like an enormous stone falling into your belly and dragging you deeper and deeper into the sea. Your silly little crush on Arthur, when you first joined the gang a year ago, had turned into a way stronger attraction. Denying it at first, you had little by little let your emotions win, cherishing every moment with him, thanking Dutch for assigning both of you to the same missions, loving the quiet evenings where he would just sit next to you around the campfire to scribble in his journal while you would do your little hobby on your own. Silent most, but enjoying each other’s company, and so, so peaceful.

More than your emotions, you even had let your imagination take the lead, dreaming about a selfish future with him, seeing it every time he would give you a smile, or laugh at one of your jokes. A happy Arthur, relieved from his obligations, enjoys life's simplest joys. A house, a garden. Maybe a dog, considering he had loved having Copper. A marriage even. And why not a child? If he would feel ready. Something in you was telling you he would be a good father.

But now, you felt like this dream was rotten, condemned. Like a broken match. The fire, the very thing it’s designed for, not being able to be lit. Would never be lit. A wasted potential.

You tried to continue your gossiping chat with Karen, voice light but gaze elusive as you peeled the potatoes you were supposed to prepare while discussing, tedious tasks often ended up less difficult this way when you were working with the other girls. But behind your seemingly normal smile and hollow words, a haunting thought was hanging on to you as strongly as a rock trapped in a thousand-year-old iceberg.

Arthur never fell in love again after Mary Linton.

Night had definitely fallen on the frozen mountains. After your endless vegetables centered-chores, you had helped Mr. Pearson turning them into a decent meal, his incessant blattering about the Navy giving you some sort of distraction. During dinner and after though, once you didn’t have any goal or job left to do for the day, your conversation with Karen came back into your wandering mind, her speech playing again and again like a used gramophone record.

Never fell in love again...

Sitting at one of the corners of the big cabin you had been sleeping in for the past few days along with the girls and some other gang members which mainly served as a common space, you were looking outside by a dilapidated window. A frozen World spread out before your eyes, every inch of surface covered in snow and ice, the landscape ending up looking like it was coated with a thick strange substance —dark blue colors Queen of this gloomy, misty horizon.

Arthur had returned from a very busy hunting day with Charles. Thanks to them, meat had been added to the vegetable paradise of a meal, resulting in a better-than-usual supper. He should have felt cheerful, but his mood wouldn't lighten.

He had spotted you from across the room, noticing the hurtful absence of your smile on these sweet lips of yours. Smile he secretly loved. Lips he secretly fancied.

Hesitating for a long moment, debating with himself, a self-depreciative rambling turning in his head like a well-oiled motor, he had ultimately decided to join you and investigate. Something pretty important must been bothering you, because loosing your usual little grin and eating your plate all by yourself really wasn't in your habits.

Approaching you, his boots and spurs clicking and stomping before you could see him, he plants them in front of you, standing there while his eyes lock on your face.

“Miss Y/L/N? Is everythin’ okay?”

“Oh, Mr Morgan. Yeah, don’t worry. Everything is great.”

He doesn’t believe you and honestly, you wouldn’t have convinced yourself either. And Arthur is a stubborn man. A stubborn, and caring one. He leans against the cabin's old creaky walls, on the other side of the window.

“Come on, don’t lie t’me girl. Everyone noticed you’re not in your right mind.” He honestly doesn’t know about everyone, but he surely did. His words are accompanied by a small, polite smile.

“I don’t think… I don’t think you’re the right person to talk about it.”

Arthur’s entire body froze. The hands he had on his belt as always when he was comfortable, flew to his chest as he crossed his arms, his thick winter coat folding with difficulty. His encouraging smile flattened, his brows pleating in a harsh frown.

“Erm… Alright, I get it. I won’t bother you, I guess.”

Without loosening his arms, he pushed himself from the wall, taking a step to leave you some space. You couldn’t have missed it. This change of behavior, the hurtful expression he had displayed, as if he was truly pained by your words. Disappointed, maybe even shameful to have thought he could help you at all. He was just a sad, ugly bastard, after all.

You felt like you could hear all of it from where you were, and see it in the shadow that had taken his face and the gigantic mass that seemed to have fallen on his shoulders.

No, you didn’t want this. Didn’t want him to feel like that because of you and your stupid feelings, or your own dark thoughts.

“Wait, Arthur!”

He turned around the second you talked again.

“I’m sorry it’s just…” You sigh and look at him with an uncertain expression, knowing your next words were going to be risky. “It’s about you and Mary Linton…”

His eyes turn into two literal plates, his mouth slightly opening in outer astonishment. This was really not what he had in mind. You could have been sad because of a hundred logical reasons, the death of Davey and the loss of Sean and Mac, the complete fiasco of Blackwater, the hundred of dollars lost, the terrible and tough conditions of the Grizzlies plunging everyone into an unbearable cold and a threatening famine. Not mentioning Hosea’s alarming coughing, Dutch’s mysterious decisions, and Micah as a whole.

But you, out of all these things, were worried about Mary.

Once his eyes had grown as round as they could, they got back into an interrogative expression, the wave of surprise over.

“Wha’…?! How d’ya even know ‘bout her?”

“Karen speaks a lot when she’s bored…” You briefly explained, trying to sound detached.

Arthur rolls his eyes to the Heavens. Of course, folks talked, and you had to know about it all at some point. But this wasn’t ideal at all. He would have preferred to tell it to you himself, at a time he would have felt comfortable doing so, with his own words. He didn’t want this to change anything between the two of you.

“And erm… What exactly bothers ya?”

You open your mouth to speak, but your words are jammed. Explaining that you feel jealous of what the both of them had shared would just come down to confessing your feelings for him plain and simple.

You felt completely stuck.

He’s right there before your eyes, the very source of all your worries and your every joy. Looking at you with those confused blue eyes, wondering what is happening in this pretty head of yours. But the words still won’t come out. You feel more and more powerless, and instead of a sound, your eyes take over to get something out of your body, slow and sad tears filling them like a lonely glacier fills a mountain lake on its own.

Arthur’s usual frown furrows, his wrinkles more visible, contrasted by the shadows from the warm lights of the fire. Suddenly, his internal melancholic speech shuts down, as if the view of a single tear streaming down your cheek were absolutely intolerable to him. No worries nor anxious self-restraints crosses his mind —it’s now only instinct. He sees you crying. He has to help you. This is as easy as that.

His right hand reaches to you by itself.

It feels warm but coarse. This big, big hand on the side of your face.

“Oh, Y/N. Don’t waste those pretty tears for a sour-faced idiot like me.” His thumb gently wipes the drops of sadness that had overflowed from your two delicate lakes. “Come on, les’ jus’ talk about this somewhere quiet.”

Arthur gently uses the hand he had on your cheek to wrap it around your shoulders, solid arm gently pushing you up. He then leads you through the door, other members throwing curious gazes at the both of you.

But he doesn’t care. His priority, right now, is your well-being, and some privacy to allow him to finally whisper things in your ears he should have a long time ago. Not in front of everyone. Not with the other men looking at your sparkling eyes, and listening to the change in his voice he knew would crack, his usual intimidating persona crushed into a million pieces with only the sound of your own. Or with the other girls hearing the oh-so-important words he had to say. No. You would be the only one to witness this.

He had brought you to the barn where the horses were kept. The snow was falling lazily, a few flakes passing through the holes in the dilapidated roof. The place is enveloped in a heavy silence, as if it was muffling every sound coming from the outside.

Once Arthur had closed the big wooden doors behind you and before he could do anything else, you finally burst.

“I shouldn't cry, I’m so sorry Arthur, I just… She looked like an incredible woman, so beautiful a-and distinguished, and me well… I'm just… me.” Your eyes fell to your feet. You like everything was coming out of you all at once and you couldn't contain it anymore.

“Stop it.”

“How could I ever mean something to you? You've been with her for so long and even proposed to her and… and never fell in love again after her and…”

“Stop it, Y/N!”

Arthur cut your blabbering panic by pulling you against him. He held you so tightly you were almost crushed by his powerful arms, but it felt so good. Like he was holding together all the little pieces of you that had cracked, melting them with his warmth and molding yourself again with it.

“Now you l’sten to me, sweetheart. I don’t want ya to say things like this ever again.”

The sudden use of the pet name soothed your heart immediately. You buried your face into the furred collar of his big winter coat, the hairs tickling your nose. There, you can feel a little bit of his bare skin, your cheek finding shelter against it.

You stopped talking.

You just wanted him to continue to. His deep voice seemed to come directly from the inside of his chest, and you could feel it vibrating before actually hearing it.

“Ya know I’m no… Am no poet or, or good with words like Dutch…” He started, visibly unsure of what he was going to say. He’s relieved he had initiated the hug, this way, with your face in there, you couldn’t see his. The worried expression it was carrying, like a burden. “But lemme tell ya just how much I care about ya. Oh, my sweet girl.”

This is it. He tries not to but his low tone begins to tremble. It’s so strange. It feels like forever since that happened for the last time.

“Yeah, Mary has been a real’ important part of my life, I won’t lie to ya. But it was so long ago, gorgeous. So long ago.”

He knows he won’t shed a tear. He never cries. But his hands shake. His vocal cords vibrate in a vulnerable, softer, and higher-pitched quaver. His body tenses, heart as fast as if racing with a million wild horses galloping in the Great Plains. Even if his words couldn’t explain just how much you meant to him, you could have guessed by how you were affecting his entire flesh.

“Ya know what? It’s true. Our story ended badly. I never fell in love again after her.”

You sigh, more tears wetting your face and his blue coat, this truth so hard to swallow.

“Until that morning, when I saw you brushing Boadicea’s mane; your hair all covered in hay, the brightest smile I ever had the chance to witness on that sweet face o’ yours. That day, I knew my stupid foolish heart had done it all over again.”

You let out a single chuckle mixed with tears and emotions, so relieved. Even when you felt like you were at your lowest, he succeeded at making you smile.

“Grimshaw had forced me to groom all the gang’s horses to “get used to camp’s work”. Must have looked terrible.” You remembered with a smile, details of your first encounter with Arthur flooding your mind.

“You looked like a goddamn Angel, honey. T’was like the sun was shining jus’ for ya. Jesus, I knew it was too late for me.”

You pulled back from him just a little, enough for you to look at him in the eyes, but not for him to let go of you. Now that they had found you, his hands, still slightly quivering, refused to let go, their place on your back and behind your head feeling so natural and right. Your eyes behave the same way as them but with his face. He looks so moved that you have to pinch yourself internally to make sure you’re not dreaming this whole thing; never in your life you had seen him like this.

“I love you too, Arthur.” You confessed back to him, fingers cupping his cheeks in a delicate touch.

You had to stand on your tiptoes to reach his face, but his arm helped you, your lips gently discovering themselves, brushing against each other in a soft and shy caress. Even if both your mouths were chapped by the biting cold, it was the most gentle kiss you had shared in your life, a satiny embrace that left you completely dreamy and light-headed.

The snowflakes silently swirl around the both of you, Nature the only witness of your souls melting into each other.

Opening your eyes again after this moment out of time, you're met with the happiest smile Arthur ever had on his face. He looked like and idiot in love, and you were sure you looked exactly the same.

“Please darlin’, don’t ever compare yourself to her ever again. What’s in the past stays there. And I wanna have a future with you.”

Your dreams sprang back straight from your heart to your mind. The visions you had about the both of you were more alive than ever, reinforced by his own needs shared with yours.

“You’re sweet, you’re funny, you’re so smart and stunningly gorgeous. And, you wan’ a proof?” He playfully asks you, taking his hat off his head, a thin layer of snow falling from it.

Turning it over, he carefully pull a piece of paper out, hidden between two leathered segments in the inner part of his hat. His cut and reddened fingers unfold it and he gives it to you, his big smile turning into an embarrassed and sheepish one.

It’s a sketch of you.

You’re mesmerized by the details of it, the blades of hay messily tangled in your hair, the sparkling in your eyes, the exact clothes you were wearing that day. This smile, you’re more than certain he drew it way more beautiful than it really is. Arthur even had added some lines traced from your head to the end of the paper, as if you were the Sun itself and were emitting your own light.

This was impossible this was the same person as you, her beauty was too radiant and fascinating.

But no matter what you thought about yourself, seeing his work curled your lips in the exact same way as yourself on the drawing. With snowflakes replacing the twigs, you had turned into the living recreation of it. Arthur laughed when he noticed, and realized just how much he had loved you and continued to since that morning from a year ago. He bent towards you to put a small kiss on your forehead.

“Arthur it’s… It’s beautiful.” You find it difficult to find another word, speechless once again.

You also had no idea of how talented at drawing nor attracted to you he was. This day definitely was full of surprises. You chuckled fondly before taking a last look at your portrait and giving it back to your lover. But Arthur’s large palm wrapped around your hand.

“No, please, keep it. This way, you’ll always remember how you look through my eyes.”

More tears threaten to escape your own, even though those were a direct extract from the immeasurable happiness you were experiencing.

“And... Now that I don’t have to hide myself while sketching ya, I’m going to draw lots of new ones.”

tagging: @a-court-of-valkyries Thank you for reading all of this! Also, I didn't know this was a thing but if ever you want to be tagged in my works too, let me know! It would be my pleasure.

#Okaaaay this is super cheesy but I like it!#please comforting Arthur heal our hearts #Also this is the second time I write a love confession in here and def not the last time #Hope I won't repeat myself too much.#rdr2 #arthur morgan #red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan x female reader #arthur morgan x you #rdr2 arthur #arthur morgan fluff #arthur morgan fanfiction #arthur morgan fic #arthur morgan comfort #pinefic

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five-thousand-loaves-of-bread · 2 months ago

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not be able communicate by words means… constantly be misunderstood. misinterpreted. not have any way show own perspective, your side of story. your story always written talked about interpreted read thru other people.

someone did something wrong you. someone hurt you. someone say wrong thing…

someone make up malicious thing about you. maybe that you rude ungrateful bad temper behavior problem. it now become truth it now become you because there no way you correct them.

you can’t educate them. you can’t explain it to them. nevermind that, for example, you severely disabled n having symptoms that impact quality of life, or have symptoms that dare inconvenience people - can only watch as people around you speak “for” you not with your interest in mind but of their own selfishness - that people who can communicate by word say you only do that because you lazy, you selfish, want attention, on purpose, just want to for no reason, faking, inherent personality flaw.

not just big things. more often it those small things that build up every day, happen tens n hundreds of times each day, every day, every week, every month, every year… more often it those small things that add up that break you.

imagine everything bad, incorrect, & bad and incorrect thing said about you in your life. n now imagine you not able defend yourself, explain yourself, or even say those wrong not true.

n any attempt of yours to maybe protest, not enough, people not understand, or downright not listened to, made fun of. at first you shake head make noise meaning no all calm. after while of it not work you get frustrate n it start showing. you get impatient n snappy, why none of you understand, is any of you even trying. but people around you with privilege of able communicate n defend self thus never have experience of not have that, find it such basic of skill that they no longer see it as acquired skill but instead see as innate, born in, natural, cannot imagine person not have it just like can’t imagine living person not breathing—they only see their perspective n only see their interaction n not the many, hundreds n thousands, of previous communication where no one understood you (or even tried to). so they mock you (sometimes they the one who on purpose provoke you to see your reaction like you monkey in cage for their entertainment), geez big reaction why can’t you be patient. n you get label, impatient, rude, explosive, anger issues.

you protest in only way you can without words. you do it by sounds n noises n movement. you raise voice you scream you smash thing around you you hit yourself in frustration you hit other people who don’t understand you because you frustrated at their incompetence n how much they failing you. because. show me another way person can communicate without words. show me way that one can continue do after tens n thousands of misinterpretations n miscommunications n malicious interactions, n still remain calmly, “appropriately.”

you communicate in only way you can with only emotion you can feel at this point: anger, frustration, helpless. be misunderstood, even smallest innocent one, become trauma become trigger. miscommunication alone can set it off, make you see red n see billion of previous miscommunication where everyone failed you n left you to fend for self. then the backhanded jab that sometimes follow, that make thing exponentially worse.

you communicate in only way you can with only emotion left you can feel that consume you. loud sounds, screaming, get physical. it not earn you be understood. it only earn you this: be called impatient, irrational, explosive, land mine, rude, ungrateful, annoying…

“behavior issues.”

and that’s another misinterpretation of you you can’t defend yourself against. cycle repeats.

n other verbal people only listen to other verbal people. so these descriptions of you become “your truths”.

n the true you left there. to rot.

a lot people with no functional communication (either because no ability, or because circumstances) labeled as have behavior issues. yeah, no fucking shit. try it for a while. anyone would “have behavioral issues” in these circumstances.

no one seem to care. so okay fuck yeah am difficult kid, have behavioral issues, make your life miserable. yeah am terrible person, have inherent personality flaw of no fault but my own. except now do it on purpose, make it true now, put ability to control own truth in own hand. because you all seem want me be that so bad. so now you get it. don’t complain now, you all asked for it really really nicely.

but deep down. at most basic. hidden beneath. really just. want be understood. want be helped. want people to learn my communication.

“many behavior is communication” yes, those kind of behaviors should be respected n valued n listened, but try behavior your way out of correcting n explaining everything just said in post to person who just don’t seem to get it

without rely on good grace of nice people around you who keep on play guess games n give out guesses in words you can nod or shake head to. now, that’s cheating.

people not nice to people who *have no choice* but to *only* rely on behaviors & vocal noises to communicate

n, even if every single person nice. behaviors n vocal noises alone, not enough.

this written with full time experience in mind

#nonverbal #actually nonverbal #loaf screm #not exclusively autistic issue but relevant enough to tag #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #autism #autistic #disabled #disability #actually disabled #severely disabled #severe disability #functional communication #long post

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empty-vessel-of-a-person · 3 months ago

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How I Envision "Intimate Time" with the LaDS Boys be like.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Zayne

The Sensual Partner.

I feel like Zayne is a very sensitive and emotionally attached person so being able to connect with him through mind and soul is the best way to get him stimulated.

I never see him as the one who will inflict pain in his partner in any way. He is to gentle for that.

He will always tends to your needs first before his own. We have seen this on Hidden Motive. He did lose control of himself and become "intense" as M/C describe him. But in the end, even if he is clearly still in need, he asks M/C if what he is allowed to do.

He is the type to enjoy the goosebumps forming in your skin whenever he touch or kisses you.

He always listen to you. No plea or request will make it pass his ears and he would always deliver what you ask

He would always whisper his thank you (Zayne's Translation: I Love You) (F.U. Astra!!!!) when you both finish.

Sylus

The Intense Partner

This guy is rough. We all know that. The manhandling and almost stalker-ish behavior he have when it comes to you is all the proof we need.

He also is the type of partner who will make you experience different and new type of high.

He is confident and know what will make your body tremble for him.

He is also type of partner to takes pleasure from your pleasure. Don't get me wrong, all the boys are like this. But unlike Zayne, who takes pleasure from your equal needs for each other, Sylus on the other hand, take it from your pleasure alone. The more happy you are the more satisfied he gets.

He is the type of partner, who will leave marks on you on visible area of your skin.

He is also a type of partner to whisper "lewd" things to your ears and not be ashamed of it.

But no matter how rough he is, he will always cuddle you after you both finish.

Xavier

The Wolf in Sheep's Clothing.

We can all agree that the soft-spoken Xavier is a predator in bed. To say I am shocked on his No Restraint card is an understatement. That sweet thigh-nuzzling to unexpectedly throwing you to bed is shocking yet so hot.

Xavier longs for you and that's why I think he jumps to every opportunity to touch you and go so feral about it.

He is the king of roleplay. I bet with the right coaxing, he will do whatever you want or be whatever you like him to be. We have seen this in several occasion and the most recent is on Mystic Adventures in Misty Invasion Event.

I bet that he is a very passionate lover and will definitely takes his time on getting you prepared and worship your body especially your legs.

Since Xavier doesn't talk much, he most likely show his affection by cuddling and touching. Teasing you with his soft feather like touches that leaves you breathless.

Rafayel

The Pure Partner

He is so pure hearted I could cry. Somebody pointed this out and my big shoutout to you because I can't remember where I read it. We have to remember that Rafayel is a Lemurian. What maybe something that is normal for us in the art of intimacy, may something new for him and this made him unsure or shy about being intimate.

I feel like it will be your duty to give him in the art of intimacy. We know how much he can blush and even that kiss on tub gives me a feeling that he really wants it to happen but is unsure how to do it.

I feel bad for him that we've been so intense with him during the Misty Invasion event. If my understanding is correct, he is quite sad because of his old friend. That guy must be important for him and although we are oblivious of his significance to Rafayel, we should have been more sensitive.

And speaking of sensitive, I feel like Raf is a hyper-sensitive one. Every touch we give, every emotion we pour on him magnifies 10 fold if not a thousands.

He really wants us for him to wait 800 years and during that time, i bet he's not been with anyone and then suddenly we are going feral on him (well who can't be? hehehe)

But imagine this, you taking the lead for him and guiding him to what makes you both reach that pleasure. Slowly slides your hands from his shoulders, torso, and pelvis while whispering to him "you're doing great" and he will moan for you.

Full disclosure: I am a Zayne Girlie but Rafayel's bedroom voice can make me sweat. He knows how to use his voice (A true merman!!!!) to lure you in. (Kudos to his wonderful duber!!!!)

And lastly and the most important thing that I love about Rafayel, is how he is always available and ready for you no matter how unsure he is.

#love and deepspace #zayne #xavier #rafayel #sylus #zayne love and deepspace #xavier love and deepspace #rafayel love and deepspace #sylus love and deepspace #lnds #l&ds

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natsaffection · 4 months ago

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Heated pt. 2 | N.R

Warnings: G!P Natasha, Details of Pregnancy, Details of Torture, Angst, Blood, injury’s

Word Count: 6,3k

A/N: Okayy, I don’t know ow how to feel about this.. I apologize in advance if something is weird, but this is the first time I'm writing in this properly, soo.

I tried to incorporate all your Ideas and thoughts and this is what came out of it.

Part 1

The sterile smell of the medical wing always made your stomach turn, but today was different. Today, the nausea had nothing to do with antiseptics or hospital lights, but everything to do with the gnawing suspicion that had been growing for weeks. Dr. Helen Cho had asked you to come in after your last bout of unexplained nausea and fatigue.

You sat on the edge of the examination table, drumming your fingers nervously on the cool metal. Your mind was racing, a whirlwind of thoughts and fears. What if it was something serious? What if it affected your ability to fight? And, deep down, a thought you barely dared to admit... What if you were pregnant?

Dr. Cho entered, holding a file with a concerned expression on her face. She gave you a reassuring smile, but it did little to ease the tension in your chest.

"Y/n," Dr. Cho began gently, "we have the results of your blood tests."Your heart pounded in your ears. You forced yourself to breathe, to maintain your composure. "It looks like you're pregnant," Dr. Cho said quietly, her eyes full of compassion.

The words hung in the air, a heavy, inescapable truth. It felt like the ground had disappeared beneath your feet. Pregnant. The word echoed in your mind, mingling with a thousand thoughts and fears. You were an Avenger, a fighter, not someone who had time to think about raising a child. And then there was Natasha.

A mix of emotions surged within you. Disbelief, fear, anger, and somewhere, deep down, a small spark of hope. You clenched your fists, your nails digging into your palms as you tried to process the news. Your mind was a chaotic storm of questions: How could this happen? What would you do? How would this affect your role with the Avengers? And Natasha... How could you ever tell her?

"How... how far along?" you managed to whisper.

"About 9 weeks," Dr. Cho replied. "We'll need to run some more tests to ensure everything is progressing normally, but as far as we can see, everything is fine."

You nodded mechanically, your mind already focusing on the next inevitable step. You couldn't tell Natasha. Not yet. The thought made your stomach turn more than the nausea. What would Natasha say? How would she react? Would she even care?

Dr. Cho placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. "I know this is a lot to take in. If you need anything or have any questions, don't hesitate to ask."

"Thank you," you said, your voice hollow. You slid off the bed and made your way out of the medical wing, each step heavy with the weight of the news you carried.

Days passed in a blur. You went through the motions of training, missions, and team meetings, but your mind was elsewhere. Every morning you woke up hoping it was all just a bad dream, but reality remained. You were pregnant, and you had no idea what to do.

The days stretched into a week, and you became increasingly anxious. You avoided Natasha as much as possible, afraid that your eyes would betray the secret you were desperately trying to hide. You couldn't eat, you couldn't sleep, and it felt like you were falling apart.

In the quiet moments, when you were alone, the thoughts crashed over you like a tidal wave. How could you be a mother? What kind of life could you offer a child? And Natasha... Would she even want to be involved? The uncertainty was suffocating.

One particularly sleepless night, you found yourself pacing your room, your mind a whirlwind of questions and fears. You knew you couldn't continue like this. You needed to talk to someone, to get some perspective. Maria came to mind. Maria was always a reliable presence, a voice of reason amid the chaos of your life.

With a determination born of desperation, you made your way to Maria's office. It was late, but you knew Maria often worked at odd hours. You knocked softly on the door, your heart pounding with each passing moment.

A moment later, the door opened, and Maria's calm, composed face appeared. "Y/n, what's going on? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Can we talk?" you replied, your voice trembling slightly. "It's... important." Maria nodded and stepped aside to let you in. She closed the door behind you and gestured to a seat.

"What's on your mind?" Maria asked, sitting across from you. You took a deep breath, the words catching in your throat. "I... I found out that I'm pregnant." Maria's eyes widened slightly, but she maintained her composure. "Okay... wow. How are you feeling?"

"Confused," you admitted, your voice shaking. "Scared. I don't know what to do, Maria. And... Natasha... she doesn't know yet."

Maria nodded thoughtfully. "Considering your relationship with her... I thought things were over between you two?"

You shook your head, a bitter laugh escaping your lips. "So did I. But we... we had our moments. It's complicated. We fight, we argue, and then... well, you know how it is."

Maria sighed and leaned back in her chair. "I understand. Relationships can be complicated, especially in our line of work. But right now, you need to focus on yourself and the baby. Everything else can come later."

"But Maria, what if she wants nothing to do with it?" Your voice broke, tears streaming down your face. "What if she hates me even more because of this?"

Maria stood up and sat beside you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. "Y/n, listen to me. You are strong, and you can do this. You've been through worse and survived. Natasha's reaction is something we can't predict, but that doesn't mean you have to go through this alone."

You sniffled and leaned into Maria's comforting embrace. "I just don't know what to do. Every time I think about telling her, I freeze."

"One step at a time," Maria advised gently. "First, take care of yourself. Make sure you're healthy, that the baby is healthy. You're not just an Agent, Y/n. You're a person with feelings, with needs. It's okay to be scared and confused."

"Thank you," you whispered. "I really needed to hear that." Maria smiled and squeezed you reassuringly. "Anytime. And remember, we're all here for you. No matter what happens. Natasha... she has a complicated past, especially with family. It's not my place to tell her story, but know that her reaction, whatever it may be, is influenced by that. But for now, you need to focus on you." You nodded, feeling a small measure of relief. "I know. I'm just scared of losing her completely."

"You won't," Maria said firmly. "Natasha is tough, but she cares about you. It might take her time to process, but she'll come around. And in the meantime, you have me, you have the team. You're not alone in this."

"Thank you, Maria," you said, your voice now steadier. "I don't know what I would do without you." Maria chuckled softly. "Well, you don't have to find out. We're in this together. One step at a time, okay?"

"Okay," you agreed, feeling a new determination. "One step at a time."

Days passed, and your thoughts never strayed far from the life growing inside you. At first, the idea had been a whirlwind of fear and confusion, but slowly, acceptance began to settle in. You often found yourself resting a hand on your stomach, a strange mix of wonder and worry filling your heart. You knew you had to tell Natasha, no matter how frightening the thought was.

The moment had finally come. You stood outside Natasha's quarters, your heart beating so loudly you could hear it in your ears. You took a deep breath and knocked on the door, each second feeling like an eternity. The door opened, and Natasha stood there, her expression as reserved as ever.

"What do you want?" Natasha asked, her voice cool and distant. "We need to talk," you said, your voice firm despite the turmoil inside you.

Natasha's eyes narrowed slightly, sensing the gravity of your tone. She stepped aside and let you in. The door closed behind you with a soft click, sealing you both in the small room.

"What is it?" Natasha asked, crossing her arms over her chest. You took a deep breath and met her gaze. "Natasha, I'm pregnant." For a moment, time seemed to stand still. Natasha's eyes widened a little, a fleeting emotion, fear, perhaps crossed her face. But it was quickly replaced by a hard, cold mask.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Natasha hissed, her voice low and dangerous. "You heard me," you said, your own anger rising. "I found out a week ago. I'm elven weeks along."

Natasha's face hardened. "And you think it's mine? You think you can just throw this at me and—"

"I don't think, I know," you interrupted, your voice trembling with emotion. "You came inside me, Natasha, remember? This is your baby."

The room was filled with tense silence, the weight of your words hanging between you. Natasha took a step back, her expression conflicted. She had been trained her whole life to believe that love and attachments were weaknesses, that they were only for children. The idea of a relationship, of raising a child, was something she had never allowed herself to consider.

"No.. we used protection and you take the pill- This changes everything." Natasha said finally, her voice barely a whisper.

"Yeah, last time maybe, but not at the Party 3 Month ago..“ you replied, your voice filled with anger and desperation. "It does change everything. And you can't just run away from it."

Natasha's eyes flashed with anger. "Do you think I wanted this? Do you think I wanted to be tied down like this?" Your own anger flared. "You're not the only one who's scared, Natasha! But you can't just run away from this. It's happening, whether you want it or not."

"I was never meant to have a family," Natasha spat, her voice rising. "I was trained to be a something else, not a mother."

"And what about me?" you ask, tears streaming down your face. "I didn't ask for this either. But I'm dealing with it, and so do you. We made this baby together."

Natasha's face twisted with a mix of anger and pain. "Do you think I can just turn off everything I've been taught? That I can just be a mother, be in a relationship like it's nothing?"

Your heart ached at the sight of Natasha's struggle, but your anger didn't wane. "You're afraid, I get that. But that doesn't give you the right to run away. We have to face this together, Natasha.."

"I can't!" Natasha screamed, her voice breaking. "I don't know how! I was trained to kill, to manipulate, not to love or care for a child. I can't do this!"

"Stop saying that!" you screamed back, trying to hold back your tears. "Stop pushing me away, Natasha. You don't have the right to make that decision alone."

"You don't understand!" Natasha yelled, turning away from you. "You don't know what it's like to be told that love is only for..children, that attachments are a weakness. I can't just change because you say so."

You stepped closer, your voice trembling with emotion. "Do you think this is easy for me? Do you think I'm not scared? But I'm standing here, ready to face this with you. Y-You owe me that.."

Natasha's back remained turned to you, her shoulders shaking with suppressed emotions. "Look at me!" you demanded, grabbing Natasha's arm and turning her to face you. "Look at me and tell me you feel nothing. Tell me you don't care."

Natasha's eyes met yours, and for a moment, the cold mask slipped. Pain, fear, and something deeper flickered in her gaze. Then, with a hard swallow, she forced herself to speak. "I feel nothing for you or the baby," she lied, her voice hard and unyielding. "I can't and I won't."

Your hand flew up before you could stop yourself, slapping Natasha hard across the face. "Liar!" you screamed, your voice breaking. "You're just scared! You're a coward to admit it!"

Natasha's cheek burned, but the physical pain was nothing compared to the inner turmoil. "I'm not a coward," she hissed, anger flashing in her eyes. "I'm realistic. This will never work."

"Stop pretending you're a heartless monster!" you screamed, tears streaming down your face. "You care, I know you do. You're just too scared to admit it."

"Get out," Natasha said coldly, turning away again. "Just go." Your heart shattered at her words. "I can’t believe it.“ you spat, your voice trembling with anger and pain. "Fuck you, Natasha.“

With those words, you stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind you. As you walked down the hall, tears flowed freely, each step heavy with a mix of anger, despair, and heartbreak.

Back in the room, Natasha stood motionless, her mind a whirlwind of emotions she had learned to suppress. She clenched her fists, fighting the urge to break down. Deep down, she knew you were right. She did care. But admitting it, facing it, seemed an insurmountable challenge. For now, she remained alone with her guilt and fear, the echo of your words ringing in her ears.

You stormed down the hallway, your vision blurred by tears. You were determined to get to your room, to hide from the world and the pain of Natasha's rejection. As you turned the corner, you almost collided with Maria.

"Y/n, hey, what’s going on?" Maria asked, concern in her eyes as she saw your tear-streaked face and trembling form.

"Natasha is a fucking asshole, that's what’s going on." you spat, trying to wipe away your tears, only to smear them further. Maria gently took your arm and guided you to a nearby bench. "Sit down and tell me what happened."

You sank onto the bench, your anger and pain bubbling over. "I told her. I told her I'm pregnant, and she... she just pushed me away. She said she feels nothing for me or the baby. She's too scared to admit she cares, and she's a total coward for it."

Maria listened quietly, her expression a mix of sympathy and understanding. "Natasha has a lot of baggage, Y/n. She's been through things most people can't even imagine. That's not an excuse for her behavior, but it's part of why she reacted the way she did."

"I don't care about her damn baggage!" you snapped, though your voice softened as you continued. "I just thought... maybe, just maybe, she would step up. But she's running away."

Before Maria could respond, Nick Fury appeared around the corner, his usual authoritative presence filling the hallway. "Hill, L/n. I've been looking for you both. We have a mission that needs to be handled."

You stood up abruptly, wiping your tears with the back of your hand. "I'm in. Whatever it is, I'm in." Maria interjected, her concern evident. "Nick, I don't think Y/n should go. She's... she's been through a lot right now. It's not safe."

"I'm fine," you insisted, your voice firm. "I need a distraction, and a mission sounds perfect." Fury looked between the two of you, sensing the tension but not pressing further. "Alright then. Briefing in ten minutes. Be ready."

As Fury walked away, Maria turned back to you. "Are you sure? You're not exactly in the best state right now."

"I need the distraction," you insisted. "I need to think about something other than her." Maria sighed and squeezed your shoulder gently. "Okay. But be careful out there. And remember, you're not alone."

Meanwhile, in Natasha's quarters, Clint had overheard every word of the explosive argument between you and Natasha. He knocked gently before entering, finding Natasha pacing angrily, her face twisted with self-loathing.

"Hey," Clint said softly, closing the door behind him. "Are you okay?" Natasha looked up, her eyes red but defiant. "What do you think, Barton?" Clint sat on the edge of the bed. "You really messed up, Nat."

"I know," Natasha spat, her voice full of anger, mostly at herself. "But I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to be what she needs."

Clint sighed, watching her pace. "You're not a monster, You've been through hell, but that doesn't mean you can't change. That doesn't mean you can't try to be there for Y/n and the baby. Your Baby, Nat, congratulations..“

"She hates me," Natasha said, her voice full of despair. "I saw it in her eyes."

"She's angry, and she has every right to be," Clint said softly. "But that doesn't mean it's too late. You need to talk to her. Really talk to her. Let her in."

Natasha shook her head, her frustration boiling over. "I can't do that, Clint. I'm not capable of being a mother. I was trained to kill, to manipulate, not to love or care for a child. I don't know how to be anything else."

Clint stood up and grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "Listen to me. You're not just what they made you. You're more than that. Look at me, Nat. I have my own demons, but I have a family too. It's hard, and it's scary, but it's worth it. You don't have to go through this alone."

Natasha's eyes filled with tears, but she fought them back. "How did you do it? How did you become a father with everything we've been through?"

Clint's expression softened. "It wasn't easy. I was terrified when Laura told me she was pregnant with Cooper. But we took it one day at a time. I had to learn how to be a father. I had to let myself love, despite all the shit we've been through. And you can too."

"I don't know if I can," Natasha whispered, her voice breaking. "I don't want to hurt her or the baby."

"You won't," Clint said firmly. "But you have to be willing to try. Y/n won't wait forever. You need to make a choice." Natasha nodded slowly, a sense of determination flickering in her eyes. "I have to make this right."

Clint squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. "Then start by talking to her. Really talking to her. That's the only way."

As Natasha sat in the silence of her room, you were already preparing for the mission, your mind a storm of emotions. You were determined to throw yourself into the upcoming task, to forget Natasha if only for a while. But deep down, you knew the pain wouldn't fade so easily.

Two days had passed since the explosive argument. Natasha had spent most of that time in a daze, replaying the fight over and over in her mind. The words, the emotions, the raw pain in your eyes haunted her. Clint's words echoed in her mind too, urging her to face her fears and take a step forward.

She knew she needed to talk to you, to try and make things right. She couldn't let fear continue to dictate her actions. With newfound determination, Natasha set out to find you, hoping that you could finally have a real conversation.

But as she walked through the halls of the Tower, she couldn't find you anywhere. She checked the training rooms, the common areas, even your quarters, but there was no sign of you. Natasha’s frustration and worry grew with each passing minute.

On her way back to her room, she overheard a conversation between two agents in the hallway. “Did you hear about the team that got captured on the mission a few day ago?” one agent said.

“Yeah, Fury’s trying to come up with a rescue plan,” the other agent replied. „I was almost sent with..“ Natasha’s heart skipped a beat. She stepped closer, her voice filled with urgency. “Which team? Who got captured?”

The agents looked surprised to see her. “Uh, it was the team that went out yesterday. Agent L/n was leading it.” It felt like the ground had been pulled out from under Natasha. “Where’s Fury?” she demanded.

“In the briefing room,” one of the agents replied.

Without another word, Natasha sprinted to the briefing room. She burst through the door, her heart pounding in her chest. Fury, Maria, and several other senior agents were gathered around a table, maps and plans spread out before them.

“Fury, what happened?” Natasha asked, her voice trembling with a mix of fear and anger. He looked up, his expression serious. “We’re working on it, Natasha. We need to stay calm.”

“Calm?” Natasha snapped, her eyes blazing. “Y/n is out there, captured, and you’re telling me to stay calm?”

Maria stepped forward, trying to soothe the situation. “Nat, we’re doing everything we can to get them back. We’re working on a plan.”

“Working on a plan?” Natasha’s voice broke, her hands clenched into fists. “We need to get her out now!”

“Did I miss something here?” Fury asked firmly. Maria glanced at Natasha and back at Fury. “Y/n is pregnant, Nick.”

Fury’s expression hardened. “What? Why wasn’t I informed of this? L/n shouldn’t have gone on the mission!” The room fell silent until Fury spoke again. “Alright, we can’t rush into this. We need to make sure we know what we’re getting into. If we go in blind, we risk losing everyone.”

“I’m going,” Natasha said, her voice leaving no room for argument. Fury shook his head. “No, you’re too close to this. I’ll assemble a team.”

Natasha took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. “Nick, please. I can do this. Just tell me where and when.” Fury considered for a moment, looking at the maps in front of him. “You need to keep your emotions in check, Natasha. If you go in there and let your feelings cloud your judgment, you’re no good to anyone.”

As the team finalized their plans, Natasha’s thoughts raced. She couldn’t lose you. Not like this. She had to make things right, to tell you how she really felt. She couldn’t let fear dictate her actions any longer.

The room was dimly lit, the only light coming from a single flickering bulb hanging from the ceiling. The air was thick with the smell of sweat, blood, and fear. Your hands were tightly bound behind your back, your body aching from the rough treatment you had endured.

You could hear the faint sounds of your team being tortured in the adjacent room. Their screams echoed through the walls, each cry of pain a dagger to your heart. You tried to stay strong, to keep calm for the sake of the little human growing inside you. But the fear was overwhelming.

The door to your cell creaked open, and a man stepped in. You recognized him immediately. He was a notorious interrogator, known for his cruelty. Your heart raced as he approached, a sinister smile on his lips.

“Well, well,” he said, his voice dripping with malice. “Look who we have here. And I hear you’re expecting a child. How… interesting.” You glared at him, refusing to show any sign of weakness. “What do you want?”

The man chuckled, his eyes gleaming with sadistic pleasure. “Oh, I’m not here for information. I’m here to make sure you understand the gravity of your situation.”

He crouched down in front of you, his face only inches from yours. “I’ve heard you’ve been quite a thorn in our side. But now, you’re just a scared little girl with a baby on the way. How touching.”

Your jaw clenched. “You’re wasting your time. I won’t tell you anything.” The man’s smile widened. “Like I said, I’m not here for that. I already know more than enough. For example, I know about the tracker in your shoulder. We can’t have your friends finding you too easily, can we?”

Your eyes widened in shock as he lifted the knife and brought it to your shoulder. You bit your lip, refusing to give him the satisfaction of hearing you scream. The pain was unbearable as he cut into your skin, removing the tracker with cruel precision.

“There we go,” he said, holding up the bloody device. “No more interruptions. Just you and me.” Your vision blurred with tears of pain, but you forced yourself to stay strong. “You won’t break me.”

The man laughed softly, his eyes darkening with madness. “We’ll see.”

He reached out, placing a hand on your stomach, his touch sending a wave of nausea through you. “And how is the little one? It must be hard, carrying a baby while being held captive.” Your anger flared, but you kept your voice steady. “Don’t you dare touch me.”

“Oh, but I must,” he said, his voice dripping with mock concern. “We wouldn’t want anything to happen to the baby, would we?”

He pressed the knife against your skin, just enough to draw a thin line of blood. “You see, I know all about you and your precious Avengers. I know they’re out there, planning to rescue you. But they won’t be here in time. Not before I have my fun.”

You tensed, your heart racing. “You’re a monster.” He grinned, leaning closer. “And you’re my plaything.”

Natasha moved with practiced ease through the shadows, her heart pounding as she approached the abandoned warehouse where you were being held. The intel she had gathered painted a grim picture: The man who had captured you was known only as “The Devil,” a nickname he had earned for his reputation for sadistic cruelty. His real name was Anton Volkov, a former KGB agent who had gone rogue and plunged into a life of crime and terror. The team split up and surrounded the house.

Inside, you flinched again, your body tensing at his touch. “Get your filthy hands off me!” you hissed, your voice defiant despite your fear.

Volkov chuckled, his fingers tracing lazy circles over your stomach. “Oh, I won’t harm your little one. Not yet, anyway. I just want you to understand how powerless you are.” His hand lingered for a moment before he stepped back, his eyes glinting with sadistic pleasure.

He turned and picked up a knife again from a nearby table, the blade glinting menacingly in the dim light. Your heart raced as you watched him, your mind screaming at you to stay calm. The knife wasn’t meant for your baby, that much, Volkov had made clear but it did little to soothe the fear gripping you.

With slow, deliberate movements, Volkov approached you again. He knelt down, bringing the knife to your thigh, and you couldn’t suppress a shudder. “Do you know what I find fascinating?” he said casually, as if discussing the weather. “The resilience of the human body. How much pain it can endure before it breaks.”

He pressed the blade against your skin, and you gasped as it cut into your flesh. Blood welled up, dark and thick, running down your leg. Volkov watched with sadistic delight, his eyes never leaving your face. “I’ve learned so much from watching people suffer. It truly is an art.”

The knife moved higher, toward your stomach, and your breath caught in your throat. Volkov’s eyes gleamed with anticipation. “But don’t worry. I won’t kill you. Not yet.”

With a swift motion, he plunged the knife into your side, just below your ribs. The pain was blinding, a hot, white flash that stole your breath away. Blood poured from the wound, soaking your clothes and pooling on the floor. Volkov’s face lit up with ecstatic fascination as he watched the life drain from you.

“Not lethal, but painful,” he murmured, twisting the blade cruelly before pulling it out. His smile widened. “Beautiful.”

Your vision blurred, the pain overwhelming your senses. You fought to stay conscious, your thoughts drifting to Natasha. Despite everything she had said, despite the harsh words and cold rejection, a part of you still hoped she would come. That she would save you.

As darkness closed in, you heard the faintest sound, footsteps moving silently through the shadows. Volkov hadn’t noticed, too absorbed in his sadistic pleasure. But you knew. She was here.

The next moments were a blur of violence and chaos. Natasha moved like a ghost, each of her movements precise and deadly. She dispatched Volkov’s guards with brutal efficiency, her eyes never leaving your tortured face. When she reached the room where you were held, Volkov turned slowly, sensing her presence.

“Why would SHIELD send their precious Black Widow for a simple rescue mission?” Volkov mused aloud, a dark smile playing on his lips. “Interesting.”

Natasha’s eyes fixed on you, her heart breaking at the sight of your battered and bloodied body. She forced herself to stay calm, but the rage simmered beneath the surface.

Volkov noticed her reaction, a glint of recognition in his eyes. “Aahh, I understand,” he said, stepping closer to you and placing a cruel hand on your stomach. "You care about her, don't you? So more than just a fleshlight..“

Natashas wondered how he knew all this. Her fists clenched, her knuckles turning white. "Get away from her. You’re surrounded." she growled.

Volkov laughed, a cold sound that echoed through the room. "So, you're the other parent," he said, his voice dripping with malice. "How touching. Tell me, Natasha, how does it feel to be so powerless?"

He pressed the knife against your stomach, drawing a thin line of blood. You flinched, your eyes pleading with Natasha to stay calm.

But Volkov was relentless. "I wonder how much more you can endure," he said, applying more pressure. "How much more before you beg for mercy?"

Natasha's resolve broke, her emotions boiling over. "Stop it!" she pleaded, her voice cracking. Volkov's smile widened. "So, it is true. You do care." He leaned closer to you, his eyes never leaving Natasha's. "See, Y/n, your lover is here to save you! But I wonder, how far will she go to protect you and your unborn child?"

Your eyes filled with tears, your voice desperate. "She won’t tell you anything. " Volkov's grip on the knife tightened. "Oh, well see. " he said, his voice cruel and mocking. "Because if she doesn't, I might just-“

"I'll do whatever you want," Natasha interrupted, her voice deadly calm. "Just let her go."

Your eyes widened in surprise. Why does she care of a sudden? Where is the Natasha from a few Days ago? And Volkov's eyes gleamed with triumph. "That's better," he said, pulling the knife away but leaving another shallow cut on your stomach. "You see, Natasha, pain is a powerful motivator. And now you'll do exactly as I say."

Natasha's eyes met yours, a silent promise passing between you. "I won't let him hurt you," she whispered, her determination hardening.

"I'm in position."

Natasha raised her hands until an arrow flew past Volkov and distracted him. In that moment, Natasha saw her opportunity. With a sudden burst of energy, she lunged at him, using every ounce of her training and fury.

Volkov, caught off guard by her ferocity, struggled to keep up. Natasha's movements were a blur, her strikes precise and deadly. She fought with a desperation that only a mother protecting her child could muster.

Clint and the team took down Volkov's remaining guards and secured the area. "Natasha, we've got them all. Get Y/n out of here," came through the comms.

In the end, Natasha overpowered Volkov, delivering a final, devastating blow that left him on the ground, barely conscious. She stood over him, her chest heaving with exertion and anger. She delivered one last, bone-crushing kick to his ribs.

With Volkov incapacitated, Natasha turned her attention to you. Her eyes softened as she took in the sight of your battered and bloodied body, but still alive. She quickly cut through your bonds, her hands gentle despite the urgency.

"Hey," she whispered, cradling your face in her hands. "I'm here. I'm so sorry. I'm here." Your eyes fluttered open, a weak smile tugging at your lips. "Took you long enough.." you murmured, your voice barely audible.

Natasha's heart ached at your condition, but she forced herself to stay focused. "We need to get you out of here," she said, her voice firm but gentle. "Can you walk?"

With Natasha's help, you managed to stand, her touch surprisingly tender. But your legs gave away, and Natasha caught you. "Alright, come here." She lifted you into her arms and carried you out.

"Let's get her to the Quinjet," Clint said, his voice urgent but calm. "She needs medical attention now." As they made their way out of the warehouse, Clint cast one last glance at the chaos they had wrought. "We'll make sure Volkov doesn't get up again," he said, his voice grim. "Let's move."

---

Your eyes opened slowly, the harsh white light of the medical station making you blink. You could hear the soft beeping of monitors and feel the warmth of blankets covering you. As your vision cleared, you saw Natasha sitting beside you, her eyes red-rimmed and filled with a mix of relief and worry.

"Hey," Natasha said softly, reaching out to touch your hand gently. "You're awake." You blinked, trying to sit up, but wincing at the pain still coursing through your body. "T-The baby...?"

Natasha's expression softened, a small, relieved smile appearing on her lips. "The baby's fine. Strong, just like her mother." she said, trying to inject some lightness into her tone.

But you didn't laugh. The memory of your last fight, Natasha's cold rejection of your child, still hurt deeply. You turned your head away, your silence speaking volumes.

Natasha's smile faded, replaced by an expression of deep remorse. She took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. "Y/n, I want to talk. Please let me explain why I reacted the way I did."

You remained silent, but your eyes flicked back to Natasha, a sign that you were listening. "I've made so many mistakes in my life," Natasha began, her voice trembling slightly. "I was trained to be a weapon, to be cold and distant. Love and family were concepts beaten out of me. I thought... I thought if I kept my distance, if I didn't let myself feel, I could protect you."

Natasha swallowed hard, tears filling her eyes. "But I was wrong. So, so wrong. When you told me you were pregnant, I panicked. I didn't know how to handle it. I was scared. Scared of loving, scared of being a mother. I said those terrible things because I thought it would be easier if I pushed you away."

Your expression softened, your eyes filling with tears as well. Natasha continued, her voice breaking. "I grew up in a world where love was a weakness, where family was used against you. I didn't want that for you or our child. But I see now that pushing you away was the worst thing I could have done. I'm so sorry, Y/n. I let my fear control me, and I hurt you."

She took a shaky breath, her eyes pleading with you. "I want to be there for you, and for our baby. I want to try, if you'll let me. I know I have a lot to make up for, but I promise, I'll do everything I can to make it right."

Your tears flowed freely now, but you reached out and took Natasha's hand, squeezing it tightly. "I understand, Natasha. Really. But it hurt so much to hear those things from you. I was scared too. Scared of raising this baby alone, scared of losing you."

Natasha nodded, her own tears streaming down her face. "I know. And I can't undo what I said, but I can try to be better. I want to be a part of this. I want to be a family."

You looked into Natasha's eyes, seeing the sincerity and vulnerability there. It wouldn't be easy, but for the first time, you felt a glimmer of hope. "Okay," you whispered. "We'll try. Together."

„R-Really?“ Her heart swelling with a mix of love and determination. "Thank you," she whispered. "I won't let you down."

As you both sat in the quiet of the medical wing, holding each other, you knew the road ahead would be challenging. But with Natasha by your side, you felt a renewed sense of strength and hope for the future. "Natasha, there's something else," you said, taking a deep breath. "it will probably be a girl. The doctors cannot guarantee anything, but so far it looks like..“

Natasha's eyes widened, and despite her efforts to hold them back, a tear escaped. "A girl?" she repeated, her voice trembling with emotion.

You nodded, smiling through your own tears. "Yes, a girl. Our daughter." Natasha wiped away the tear that ran down her cheek, her heart close to bursting with joy. "A daughter," she whispered, the word feeling both foreign and wonderful on her lips.

She looked at you, her eyes shining with awe and gratitude. "Thank you for giving me a second chance," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "I promise, I will be the mother she deserves. And I will be there for you, every step of the way."

You squeezed Natasha's hand, feeling a new unity and strength between you. "I know you will, Natasha. I believe in you. In us."

And so, in the quiet of the medical wing, surrounded by the beeping of monitors and the sterile smell of disinfectant, you and Natasha began a new path together. A path of healing, love, and hope for the future you would build as a family.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff #dom!natasha x reader #natasha romanov x reader #nat x reader #natasha romanov smut #natasha romonova #the avengers #natasha

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rynwritesreid · 6 months ago

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Pls can you write a SUPER angsty Spencer x reader where your phone dies whilst you’re out one night and he gets annoyed at you and starts becoming all protective and condescending and you’re like ‘you do realise, everyday when you walk out of that door you’re not guaranteed to return home so do you really want to spend our time like this?’

ILY

A/N: I absolutely loved this request, and I hope my writing does it justice. and ILY two. Even though I write smut the most, I absolutely love angst, reading and writing it, honestly break my heart please! Also, two posts in two days? Is it because I have a week of work? Yes. Expect more fics from me this week. Love you all 💕

Summary: what anon had asked for, but I added just a lil more to the argument, hehe.

Content: Fem!reader. Mentions of Haley and Will. Reader claims Spencer would put her in more danger than she could ever put herself in. Mention of drink spiking (reader knows all the signs). Over protecting Spencer.

Masterlist|requests are open| Navigation

You knew that Spencer was protective over you because of job, you couldn’t really begin to imagine all the things he had witnessed, but sometimes it was just overbearing. You knew how to protect yourself; you knew what to do if you believed someone was following you and you knew all the signs that a drink had been spiked.

But Spencer had set a firm rule for you, when you went out you always messaged him every half an hour to let him know you were safe and you always had your location on. But because you had already had a hectic day, and forgotten to charge your phone, it had sadly died while you were on a girl’s night.

“Why did you stop answering my texts and calls?” Spencer’s heart raced as he tried to reach you. He knew the dangers that lurked in the shadows, the monsters that preyed on the unsuspecting. As each passing minute felt like an eternity, his mind raced with a thousand fearful scenarios.

Spencer's relief at seeing you walk through the door was quickly overshadowed by the anger that simmered beneath the surface. As you met his gaze, you could see the storm brewing in his eyes, a mix of fear and frustration that threatened to spill over.

"I'm sorry, Spencer," you began, knowing that your apology might not be enough to quell his rising temper. "My phone died, and I lost track of time. I should have been more careful."

His jaw tightened as he took in your words, the worry lines on his forehead deepening. "Do you have any idea what could have happened? The risks you were taking by not checking in. I can't lose you; do you understand that?”

“Spencer, you won’t lose me, it was just an honest mistake. Okay?” you tried to stay calm, you knew he had every right to be like this.

“It doesn’t matter if it was an honest mistake,” Spencer interrupted, his voice laced with emotion. “I can't bear the thought of something happening to you. I need to know that you’re safe, always.” His eyes searched yours, pleading for understanding.

“Omg Spencer. Do you realise that every time you walk out of that door you’re not guaranteed to return home.” You paused for a brief moment, he was honestly acting like you didn’t know how to take care of yourself “and if I am being honest your job puts me in more danger than I ever could put myself in. Look what happened to Will, all because of JJ’s job, or Haley. If Hotch didn’t work for the FBI, Haley would still be alive.”

“Don’t you dare bring Haley or Will up.” Spencer's voice was sharp, he couldn’t believe you were bringing up something that happened to his closest friends’ husband, and his boss’s ex-wife. His hands clenched into tight fists, the mention of his friends' tragedies cutting through him like a knife.

“Why not? Don’t you like hearing how your job could end up with me being murdered, tortured, or kidnapped? I have learnt how to defend myself Spencer, so do you really want to spend our time arguing over things like this?” you couldn't help the frustration creeping into your voice, the tension between you and Spencer palpable in the air. You both stood there, chests rising and falling with emotions too strong to contain.

Spencer's expression softened slightly as he realized the fear and anger in your eyes mirrored his own. He knew he couldn't control every situation, but the urge to protect you was ingrained in his very being.

"I know you're capable, I do," Spencer started, his voice quieter now, more vulnerable. "But it's hard for me to accept that I can't always keep you safe. My job... it's a constant reminder of what could go wrong."

You reached out and touched his arm gently, feeling the tension slowly ebb away. "I understand, Spencer. And I appreciate everything you do to keep me safe. But we can't let this fear control us. We have to trust each other."

~join my taglist~

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#spencer reid angst #spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x you #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds fandom #criminal minds fic #bau team #bau

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matan4il · 5 months ago

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Every once in a while, the magnitude of the Hamas massacre hits me all over again.

I'm not sure most people get it even now.

In absolute numbers, it is one of the three deadliest terrorist attacks in human history (second or third worst, depends on which estimates you trust for the Camp Speicher massacre), but if we take it in relation to the size of the population in the attacked country (which we should, because terrorism by its very nation seeks to victimizes through psychological trauma the entire target population, and not just those who were physically affected during the attack), then what Hamas did IS the single deadliest terrorist attack in the entirety of human history.

But it's even more than that.

Never, in any other attack, have the terrorists taken over as much land as Hamas did on Oct 7. ENTIRE TOWNS were under complete control of the terrorists, some for SEVERAL DAYS (I specifically remember watching a report on one town, where combat with the terrorists was still taking place on Oct 11, meaning on day 5 of this terrorist invasion into Israel). ENTIRE TOWNS WERE OCCUPIED. BY TERRORISTS. There's not a single Hollywood action movie dealing with such a scenario, because NOTHING OF THIS SCALE HAS EVER HAPPENED BEFORE. Imagine waking up and hearing in real time that the northern half of the American states Washington, Idaho and Montana has been taken by terrorists, who are driving through the streets freely, as they murder, pillage, rape, torture, maim, burn and kidnap people, and almost no one's there to stop them.

And then imagine the world expecting the US government to just... let the terrorists retreat to the other side of an international border in the north, after having murdered over 40,400 American, most of which are civilians, almost 183,000 more injured, and while taking with them across the border over 8,450 American hostages, to God knows what awful fate, for how long, or if they will even ever come back alive. Entire communities and regions would be devastated, without knowing if they'd be able to rebuild. The total would be more than 230,000 Americans directly impacted (I've adapted the real numbers from Oct 7 to the size of the American population... Remember the horrendous 9/11 attack, which saw 2,977 victims killed and a few thousands more injured, and think of what would be the emotional punch of over 230,000 direct victims).

Imagine expecting the US to let that go, and allow those terrorists to continue existing and ruling the land on its northern border. Imagine expecting the US to do so while this terrorist organization openly declares that it will repeat this large scale massacre whenever possible, until the entire country is destroyed.

And please don't come at me with "Fine, Israel can react, but not like this." Unless you have the military expertise to explain exactly how Israel can protect its people from this attack ever being repeated, and to free all our hostages, without civilian casualties (despite Hamas intentionally using them as human shields, and even directly causing Gazan deaths), unless you can translate the vague "not like this" into something practical, some actual guidelines on how this urban war could have been fought differently, even though there's no historical precedent to support that this is possible, "not like this" is just wishful thinking at the expense of the safety and right to live of Israelis.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

#israel #israeli #israel news #israel under attack #israel under fire #israelunderattack #terrorism #anti terrorism #antisemitism #hamas #antisemitic #antisemites #jews #jew #judaism #jumblr #frumblr #jewish

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lizardkingeliot · 5 months ago

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I took a ton of notes during my rewatch of 2x07 just now but the thing I kept coming back to again and again was Armand's framing of the entire narrative and how it plays with truth vs lies in such an insidious way it's honestly brilliant in its cruelty. Truth being used as a cudgel not only against Louis, but against Lestat as well. And against, us, the viewers at home.

We obviously all know Armand is a very powerful 500 year old vampire who is not going to be held back by an infant of a vampire like Santiago. Like… Armand. Babe. Let’s get real. But that’s the narrative set-up. The coven, now being led by Santiago, has Armand captive behind his little rickety baby gate with Sam and his prop weapon not letting the puppy come out to play. He cannot prevent it! Poor baby. Someone get him a juice box and a snack.

Enter Lestat. The vengeful lover come to make Louis and Claudia pay for what they did to him. What's interesting here is that everyone—Daniel, Louis, Armand—acknowledges in Dubai that the trial IS a sham from the beginning. A tool to allow Lestat his revenge. But the truth of why it's actually a sham is being hidden behind a thousand layers of gaslighting and deceit by Armand. Lestat is merely another prop on the stage. Being forced to use the TRUTH of his love story with Louis—and to twist essential elements of their beginning as a couple—as a weapon to drive the final wedge between them so that Armand might have Louis all to himself. That's what this is about. A farce so that Armand might have what he wants more than anything in the world. Someone who will be with him always. Without Claudia, without Lestat... who else is there for Louis to run to?

The trial as we see it is told mostly through Louis' POV. It seems to be a true picture of how it all happened but the cognitive dissonance watching him try to reconcile what Lestat was doing on the stage with the framing provided by Armand (who cuts in frequently to assure us that Lestat shapes things to suit HIS narrative) is painful. Louis sees and feels and hears the sincerity of Lestat. A Lestat who is defiant from the jump and refuses to paint the story as butchery. It's about LOVE. It is always always always about the love. An entire sham trial about vengeance and murder framed around... love.

Everyone who's familiar with the books already knows Lestat didn't want to be there. I won't go into that too much but the show did a good job of showing us just how unwell Lestat was during the entire process. But there are also some really interesting moments where we are TOLD explicitly through Louis' recounting of the events that Lestat was not actually there for revenge. Namely, the moment when Lestat says HE deserves to be punished alongside them. These are not the words of someone who is seeking vengeance. These are the words of someone desperately rattling the bars of his own cage trying everything he can to prevent what's happening. Because unlike a certain someone, in that moment Lestat is quite literally unable to prevent it!

The entire episode is Louis trying to reconcile the conflicting truths that exist inside him: that Lestat was there for revenge, that Armand couldn't prevent the coven from exacting their cruelty, and that the Lestat who was on stage WAS sincere and emotional and fighting with everything he had to let the truth ring as true as it was when he was able. He refused to refer to Louis as the accused every time Santiago insisted on it. He would only refer to Louis by name. He would NOT allow the narrative to frame him as someone who didn't also do monstrous things to his lover. He was weeping and flooded with shame. Sincerely, genuinely remorseful for the awful thing he had done to Louis.

There's also something else here about Lestat acknowledging he tried to crush what he could not own vs Armand deceiving Louis into the false sense of control that is the entire basis for their relationship. Owning something he does not crush, merely confines. He's not crushing Louis with insanity, he's locking him inside his prison of empathy. He quite literally has Louis locked in a cage while allowing him to believe he's truly free. Free from the insanity of Lestat. Evil, vengeful, gaslighting Lestat who only uses the truth to shape the narrative for himself.

There's a lot more going on here. I can't possibly get it all out of my brain right now and I imagine I'm going to be picking apart the nuances for a while. There are so many layers. The truth vs lies vs intentional reshaping of the truth of it all. But if you rewatch, pay attention to Armand's face, the score that accompanies his recounting of events, the passive way in which he holds his body in both Paris and Dubai. He's locking Louis in a dream world where the truth is present in such a way it only serves to amplify its own distortion. I don't even think he's fucking with Louis' memory all that much, just framing it in such a way that Louis cannot see past what is right there in front of him. What he already knows. If only he had just a few more tiny pieces of the puzzle...

But he's trying to get there. He is getting there. The truth of Lestat is breaking though. Lestat is still present there with him in Dubai, as real as if he were really in the room. After 74 years, Louis can still recall every detail of his face, still smile at him recalling the truth of his memories. The truth he wouldn't allow himself to look at all the way. The truth he himself had to distort for his own sake because it hurt too much. He's allowing himself to see not only the truth of himself and his own actions, but the truth of Lestat. All the complicated, sincere truth of him. The truth of the one who truly could not prevent it.

#interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire spoilers #iwtv meta #loustat #otp: all my love belongs to you #holly's can't shut up disease strikes again

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bueckerrss · 6 months ago

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SKYFALL - PAIGE BUECKERS

warnings: angst.

tags: @patscorner @wintersstan @pbueckerslover

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

TEARS FORMED IN MY EYES the words i dreaded the most were finally said and i had no idea how we got here but it finally happened.

how did we get here? i thought everything was okay between us, but i guess not everything was like i thought it was.

“look, i’m sorry okay i just don’t feel a connection between us anymore and i’m not going to lie i have been seeing someone else” she said no emotion behind her words.

wake up, wake up, wake up!

this is just a horrible dream y/n she’s not here, she’s not real, but what if it was? what if she really is here telling me all the things i’ve never wanted to talk about?

“oh,” i whispered fearing that if i said something else i would break down “since when?” i asked looking at her face for answers “for a while now, like three weeks or so” great. around that time she was being the most loving girlfriend.

“PAIGE!!” i shrieked as she tickled me making me squirm beneath her trying to free myself from her grip “SAY IT! SAY I’M THE BEST AT FORTNITE!” she said in between laughs still tickling me “never!” i laughed out as i flipped us over so now i was on top looking at her. her eyes looking into mine then down towards my lips, in one quick motion her lips were on mine a fire enlightening in us. the spark suddenly being back, the spark i’ve missed so much.

“so everything we did and everything we shared was fake?” i felt tears prick my eyes blinking them back i look at her face no sign of remorse or guilt being shown “i mean not entirely but yea, look i have to go” she said standing up and heading for the door.

once i was sure she was gone i let out a sob finally letting everything out, how could i be so stupid? i knew she was no good for me but i let my guard down. i trusted her.

“paige look it’s a duck!” i said pointing to the pond in front of us as we walked down the park hand in hand “where?” she asked looking around the pond “right there by the rock!” i said she followed my gaze and smiled at the sight of the baby duck waddling out of the water. “he walks like you” she teased slightly nudging my shoulder, i turned around pretending to be mad at her “babe, don’t be like that! i was joking!” she said going after me and placing a hand on my shoulder i shrugged it off looking anywhere but her. “baby come on look at me” she said stepping in front of me she lifted my chin up with two fingers making me look at her “there you go, wasn’t that hard right?” she whispered, letting my chin go she pulled out a box from her pocket and held it out for me. the black velvet box seeming so small compared to her hand, i looked up at her a smile spread across my face as she nodded towards the box for me to take.

opening the lid it revealed a beautiful golden necklace with a heart charm “look into the heart” she smiled at me as i looked into the heart my smile grew wider it said “i love you” in every language.

i took off the necklace she had given me and placed it on the table in front of me, laying down on my back looking up at the ceiling the tears pooling out of my eyes the harder i tried stopping them the more the tears would came out. it felt like my whole world was crumbling apart.

my heart felt like it was breaking every second that passed, i felt like i couldn’t breathe without her by my side she was my source of oxygen and i lost it. i held my breath trying to calm myself down but a sob escaped my lips making me cough.

i’ve spent more time looking at my phone for a text or call from paige, but nothing all i wanted was an explanation. the one she gave me didn’t feel like her. it felt forced. but i didn’t have time for that anymore.

i walked towards the familiar door i’ve walked through a thousand times before knocking on it. a girl i didn’t recognize opened the door “hi, sorry to bother but is paige home?” i asked looking at the redhead in front of me “babe who’s at the door?” a familiar voice said in the background as it got closer “y/n” she said locking eyes with me her whole demeanor changing “paige,” i said stretching out my arms with the box of her things “just came to return your things” i said as i handed her the box “uh, thanks” she said “lily could you put this in my room please?” she asked giving her the box leaving us alone.

“is that all?” she asked looking around “yea, that’s all and here” i said taking out the velvet box from my pocket and putting it in her hand before leaving without saying anything else.

“do you ever think about the future?” i asked paige as i drew figures on her arms “all the time, why?” she asked looking at me “am i in it?” i whispered looking at her “baby, you are my future there’s no one else i’ll love more than you.” she whispered back pulling me closer to kiss my head. i smiled as i let sleep take over my body and enjoying this moment.

#paige bueckers x oc #paige bueckers smut #paige buckets #paige bueckers x reader #paige bueckers #wcbb x reader #wlw #wnba draft #wnba basketball #wnba x reader #lesbian #lgbtq #uconn wbb #uconn huskies #uconn women’s basketball #uconn x reader

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phantomarine · 1 year ago

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Clam's Quick Tips for Starting Your Very First Webcomic

Howdy! Here are the three bits of advice I tend to give people who ask me about getting into webcomic-making. Maybe they can help you jump into the fray with a little less fear.

1) Make Your First Chapter a Pilot Episode

You will be told by webcomic veterans to start with a short, simple comic idea first - which is wise - but if all you can think about is your big magnum opus, then you might as well hop in, right? Otherwise you'll just be glancing back at the other cooler project forever.

But if you can't start with a small simple story, start on a small, simple part of that larger story. Your first chapter should be a snapshot of the main conflict - show us a simple scene with few characters, ease us in slowly, keep things clear and focus on emotion/impact/clarity. Get the audience to care by offering something easily digested, but full of promise.

Once you're done with that 'pilot' chapter, and you're feeling more comfortable with the whole comic process, you can open the gates and show us the larger world. At that point, you'll be way more ready.

2) Simplify Your Art Style For Your Own Sanity

Always try to make your webcomic's art style as simple as possible - the standard rule is to use only 75% of your artistic skill for every comic page you make. Otherwise you will burn out quickly and terribly.

But you also need to be PROUD of your art style. If you're really feeling itchy, add a couple bells and whistles to your style so you can look at the finished page and say "Yeah, looks cool." You'll find the right balance the more you draw.

Also, don't be afraid to change your art style as you go along. Ultimate consistency is often impossible in webcomics anyway - so embrace your desire to try new things, streamline your work, whatever you feel needs to happen to be happiest. Sometimes the coolest part of reading a webcomic is noticing that style change - so don't hesitate to embrace it!

3) Resist the Reboot! RESIST!

The curse/blessing of drawing the same things over and over is that you'll inevitably get better at drawing those things. The trouble comes when you look back at old stuff and start thinking "Damn, I could draw that way better now."

You must recognize that this feeling never goes away. Not after a hundred pages. Not after three hundred. Not after a thousand.

I think everyone should be allowed one soft reboot for their first webcomic. Redraw some panels that bother you. Change up some dialogue if it doesn't make sense with your new story ideas. Do maintenance, basically. One of the beauties of webcomics is that they can be easily edited, without reprinting a whole book or remaking a whole game.

But if the ultimate purpose of a webcomic is to tell a story, then constant reboots will just be retelling the same story - slightly better each time, but the same at its core. We've heard it before. Most audiences would rather you save your strength and just keep going, rather than circling back year after year and going "Wait wait wait! I'll do it better this time."

Reboot early, not often, and only when you absolutely must! You're a storyteller, and you're constantly getting better at telling your story. Don't be ashamed of it - look back how much ground you've covered, and keep walking!

---

That's a good start. Happy webcomicking - don't be afraid to jump in, but be prepared to learn a lot very quickly. And if this advice doesn't work for you or adhere to how you did it, that's absolutely fine - webcomics are diverse by nature, and so are their creation processes. Feel out what works best for you, and good luck!

#phantomarine #webcomic #advice #just talking #writing

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yandereunsolved · 9 days ago

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» 🪙 Yandere Connor — RK800 » 🪙

"Detective," Connor addresses you warmly, standing far too close to you while you are stationed at your desk.

"Yes?" You respond, not lifting your eyes to make contact.

You had no time to. Since the semi-failed revolution of androids, there has been a trifold increase in deviancy cases. If not for the RK800's, and perhaps the new line of RK900's when they are finally completed, the precinct would be overrun—both physically and metaphorically.

"Detective," his tone is more commanding his time, something in his voice that you could easily mistake for human irritation. "Look at me."

You oblige, but continue typing up the report for the latest case you closed. Your fingers falter for a moment when you see the look in his eyes, attentive but not in the android way. It's uncanny in the way it mirrors how you dream someone would look at you, like you were the thing of most importance. It is just you reading into things again. Must be. It does often happen as a detective, especially these days.

You nod for him to continue, but he doesn't. He just stares at you dreamily. You hear his internal fans turn on to cool down his processors. His cybernetic LED flickers to red for a millisecond before returning to a reassuring blue. You aren't sure if it was a trick of your mind or—

You don't understand what his problem seems to be. You would call Hank over to deal with his partner, but you haven't been able to find the lieutenant anywhere. He's most likely finding the bottom of a bottle of liquor at some broken-down joint.

Wait, why isn't Connor with him?

As if CyberLife installed new mind reading technology in their androids, he answers. "Lieutenant Anderson is waiting for us at the Eden Club. Supposedly Jericho is getting deviant androids that work in clubs to funnel money in order to stage another coo. The department has apprehended one of them, and you have been assigned to the case alongside Ha-the lieutenant and me."

You were already halfway out the door by the time Connor was done with his explanation. The android was trailing behind you and insisted on driving instead of you. Technically, they weren't allowed to due to whatever police regulation subsection-b, but you were too tired to care. Connor has always been the better driver. It was how he was programmed, strangely, considering the rules.

"Connor, this isn't the way to the Eden Club."

"I'm aware." His voice was back to that same calculated, lifeless one he first spoke to you with.

"RK800, your programming forbids you from lying, so tell me the truth. Where are we going?"

You are a thousand percent sure he is able to sense your sky-rocketing heart rate.

"I am not permitted to tell you."

"Permitted, or you just don't want to?"

"This is not the right time or place. This confession lacks the structure and romance aspect I wanted, but it seems more human this way." You swear he shut down completely, his LED showing no color. "I love you." It turns to a bright red.

"W-What?"

"You have made me know that I am more than just an android. I am yours."

The raw emotion nearly chokes the both of you up for two different reasons: passion and panic.

"I think we should call Cyberlife. Something is clearly glitching." You try to keep your words measured but fail. All that practical training of yours doesn't exactly come in handy when your—when the android you could nearly call a friend confesses to you.

"Nothing is glitching!" He shouts. "I have run every test and looked for anything that could... debunk this... these emotions. They have stayed. They have stayed, and I have had to watch you. I have had to watch other people get close to you. I have had to act like a good little synthetic cop while useless maggots have gotten your love! It isn't fair. They don't deserve you like I do. I know everything about you."

"It isn't you. I can't—just no. I mean—yes. I mean that I can't just maybe ugh. Another time, maybe. Not tonight."

He stomps on the brakes and doesn't dare look at you. You don't look at him or your surroundings. You just awkwardly sit in the passenger seat and stare at the glovebox.

If androids were able to cry, he would be at this moment. His LED turns colorless once again. You almost feel pity for him; your mind is too frazzled and deprived of necessity to take in the severity of his words.

"I lack the capacity to feel pain... or have a heart, yet I think you have broke mine."

How unfortunate. I was hoping to have you come along willingly.

#dbh connor #dbh #dbh rk800 #connor rk800 #rk800 #detroit become human #connor x reader #connor rk800 x reader #rk800 x reader #dbh fic #yandere #yandere x reader #dbh x reader #yandere dbh #yandere detroit become human #yandere dbh x reader #yandere connor #yandere connor x reader #yandere rk800 x reader

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actual-changeling · 1 year ago

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this one is thanks to a post by @thegroovyfool because she is very much correct - we do not talk about aziraphale's "i need you" enough.

so once again, with a deep breath and a sigh, welcome back to alex's unhinged meta corner, where i tear apart the confession scene frame by frame. i'm gonna say, watching this particular clip over and over and focusing on aziraphale's face almost took me out.

let's get into it.

first, how about a little look at our starting point. (any blurry screencaps are due to a LOT of movement on michael's part rip)

crowley is very pointedly facing away from him, he turned after aziraphale said "we can be together - angels!", presumably because being offered exactly what he wants in the one way he cannot have it fried his brain, cause besties it surely fried mine.

aziraphale on the other hand looks openly desperate, which is why he says "i need you." more on that later. let's have a look at how he says it, because michael "microexpressions" sheen is putting in the work.

to me, he seems close to tears, his eyes are glistening in that specific "i'm about to cry my eyes out" way i know from looking in the mirror while crying

he is trying to get crowley to listen to him and to turn around. he wants crowley to face him, which is something most people tend to want during an argument. talking to someone who is not looking at you tends to make someone frustrated and like they're not hearing you/do not care about what you have to say.

aziraphale looks close to despair, his i need you is a plea to crowley to come with him. he is opening himself up not just emotionally but physically, too.

he slightly leans forward, his arms are raised and seem to both slightly grasp for crowley and point towards his chest/heart for emphasis. the pure pain visible on his face knocks the air out of me every single time i look at it.

aziraphale is admitting to needing him, something he has never done before, hell, he has told him the exact opposite on numerous occasions. i don't need you. and while they both knew it was a) a lie and b) a way for him to deal with his conflicting emotional standpoints and cognitive dissonance, it still hurt crowley every. single time.

crowley was there for him no matter what, he knows aziraphale needs him but he came back and remained at his side even when he was pushed away and more or less openly insulted. he endured it all.

aziraphale saying i need you now is pretty much a slap in the face but also what crowley needs to hear. as with everything that happens during the entire conversation, the timing is fucked up and they're talking past each other.

in my opinion, that is why crowley does not react.

only when aziraphale turns spiteful and starts questioning his understanding (aka calling him stupid without outright saying it) does he re-enter the conversation.

aziraphale, however, is upset. now, i will put on my tinhat for just a second and turn up the insanity because there are two more things i want to talk about.

first, the little stutter at the beginning.

"i ngk - i need you."

my question is - why? why does he stumble over these words in particular when it does not happen with any other sentence? the only other time is right after crowley walks away with his "good luck", he stumbles over crowley's name.

so, in short, it happens when he is either caught off-guard or saying something incredible emotional.

and this, everyone, is where i go unhinged in my interpretation.

what if he initially did not want to say "i need you?" what if he was so caught up in getting crowley to stay/come with him that he did not think and almost confessed another three word sentence?

what if he was about to say "i love you" but stopped himself because no, that's too direct, they don't do that, they can't do that. it goes against EVERYTHING they have silently build over the last six thousand years. so he chokes on it. he chokes on it and instead he says "i need you" because it means the same thing.

i need you. don't leave me. come with me. be an us. go off together.

i forgive you. i love you.

they say it over and over again because that's the only way they can say it.

that is why aziraphale is so angry and upset after saying it. he told crowley he loves him, he needs him, and all he got in return was silence.

the funny part is that this code may have worked before, but it no longer does. crowley is too hurt to listen to what aziraphale is trying to tell him, and aziraphale is equally as hurt and also not listening anymore.

the funny part is that it stopped being about love and started being about sides again. my side, your side, our side. choose a side, choose our side, choose me.

the funny part is that beelzebub and gabriel told them what they need to do, i found something that mattered more to me than choosing sides.

#alex talks good omens #good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #good omens season 2 #go2 #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #good omens meta #ineffable divorce #this was spontaneous i saw the post and my brain went i need to do this right now #so i did #anyway if u disagree with my conclusions thats fine i disagree with my own theories often enough #otherwise fandom wouldnt be any fun

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zwhoreo · 8 months ago

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Hi! Can I request a fic where the fem!reader helps Luffy to deal with the trauma of losing his brother?

omg first fic after i randomly left for 2 months!! but im back to writing angst again im in an angst phase

also i ended up not specifying anything gendered for reader, hope that’s chill that it’s x gn! i mostly reserve gendered language for smut

wake up @nina-ya i finished the fic i said i’d finish 2 months ago

nightmares - luffy x gn!reader

angst, hurt/comfort, fluffy ending

❕SPOILERS FOR MARINEFORD❕

summary: the trauma of marineford gives luffy nightmares, and you need to comfort him while he’s vulnerable and scared

contains: luffy in a distressing emotional situation, luffy is traumatized, references to marineford/ace’s death/timeskip

words: 2k

_______________________________

Luffy never used to remember his dreams. They were hazy and soft, they made him feel warm and fuzzy when he woke up, he would stretch and yawn and they’d go away so fast and so gently like butterflies flying away. And then he’d see you and hold you and kiss you until you were awake too, as excited to see you and his heart so warm and full of love.

And you were there to enjoy his dreams, he was a noisy sleeper who mumbled happy little thoughts unintelligibly into your neck, he would kick and pinch and squeeze in his sleep which you had to learn to live with because he couldn’t go to sleep without a hug and you’d be the one to give it to him all night. But he’d often end up moving and rolling around, tangling himself uncomfortably, protective instincts kicking in he'd get on top of you and lay there, starfish. When he awoke in the night he’d assume his most comfortable and close position with lazy kisses. He was so, so happy every night.

That was two years ago.

He’s still the same boy he was then, still giving you all those awkward little affections during the night that you missed so much while you were away. But now there’s more. Now, sometimes, he has nightmares. Awful ones that torment him every so often and make him upset and sad when he awakes in the dark, make him begin to cry when he realizes you aren’t in his arms anymore. You always pray for nights when he’s calm like he used to be, you make sure to massage him and kiss him as he falls asleep to coax those good dreams back and help him heal. Of course those years ago he’d get upset and scared and sometimes he wouldn’t feel well when he woke up, but that was so rare, that was when something bad had just happened and he was very stressed but it was so rare because he was so, so happy.

Luffy’s happy now, too. He hasn’t changed much, really, still an excitable, bouncy kid, always smiling, but now you have to worry about the night. You have to worry about dark thoughts and memories bubbling over when he’s most vulnerable until his body shakes and even your affection is barely enough. This is terrible for you, so unbearably terrible. You have to learn how to soothe something broken, something you love with every fraction of your shattered heart.

_________________________________

You’re asleep, a dull, unbreakable sleep, you’d curled up in Luffy’s arms when it was time for bed and you’d cuddled together and giggled and kissed until you both fell asleep in a joyful pile. Now you’re so content, you don’t even notice how Luffy had accidentally rolled away from you in the night, sheets all tangled up with you and keeping a distracting warmth.

Luffy’s dream isn’t bad at first. It’s the kind where you’re not quite there, floating above the world in just a dull picture, no sound or feeling or touch. It’s just the ocean, a bird over the sea. But suddenly the ocean is stone and the sky is fire and he’s disoriented, where is he? What’s happening? He looks at his hands and they’re red and he’s frozen in fear like you sometimes are in nightmares. He knows in his fractured, cloudy little mind that something bad is going to happen and he’s going to see that picture again. A thousand flashbulb memories are going to explode at once, in fire. In the waking world in bed he’s twitching and sweating and his eyes are shifting furiously beneath his lids, and you don’t know, you aren’t there to hold him.

Ace. Ace’s smile and his soft black eyes and they’re playing in the jungle together and running and running and now that’s gone, the fire’s back. It all happens at once, so much blood, holding something fading and dying. Heartsick over a goodbye. It’s one of those nightmares where you cry and scream so much and as loud as you can because everything’s happening to you at once, but you can’t make any sound, you’re just in a tidal wave of amplified agony. And that’s how Luffy lives in this moment, unable to make out much of anything except darkness and pain, shaking and overheating in his sleep.

But the anguish bursts all around him and then suddenly the fire’s gone and everything is quiet again and Luffy’s awake, tangled uncomfortably in the blankets, face covered in tears. He can’t catch his breath and his mind is full and blurry and empty all at once. Suddenly the darkness of the cabin is all encompassing, sickly, he wants it to be day again and for the world to feel safe and happy and oh, where are you?

Fear squeezes his heart as he tries to find you in the darkness, are you gone? He can’t handle being alone right now, he can’t do this, he searches with his hands in the dark and cries and feels the panic burning a hole in his stomach but finally he turns to his left and there you are. Sleeping. Despite all of this you’re still sleeping, curled up and breathing slowly, unaware and at peace. Luffy wants to wake you up so badly because he doesn’t want to be alone but he doesn’t want to worry you.

So he climbs into your arms and breathes you in. He buries his face in your chest and tries to calm his injured heart.

Biting his lip and shaking he tries so hard not to cry. He can’t bother you, he knows you’ll be sad and worried which he really doesn’t want. But his whole body hurts, he wants your arms to be tighter, he squeezes and squeezes begging silently for relief and for everything to go away but it wasn’t just a night terror it was a memory and memories don’t just go away. So he cries.

You’re stirred from sleep because the sound of Luffy crying is the worst thing you could possibly hear, a thousand of your own memories are brought back and some deep instinct is triggered within you, pulling you, you wake up immediately and the first thing you do is get on top of him and lock him in your arms, trying to breathe slowly so he will too.

He twitches beneath you, cloudy realization that he’s no longer alone. His arms are around you, fingers digging in, sharp pain, he’s trying so hard to make his tears stop as you hold him and stroke his face. But he’s a possessive, needy boyfriend who’s comforted by protecting who he loves. He sits up, taking you with him, he wraps his arms around you tighter and tighter and then his legs. He’s breathing heavily on your face, eyes closed, sad still but resilient. You’re pinned to him, unable to move, but you massage the tension out of his back and shoulders as best you can.

“Did you have a nightmare?” you whisper and he nods against you and holds you even tighter if that’s possible, “…do you wanna talk about it?”

So he nods very gently but he doesn’t say anything. His hands are twitching against you, scratching at your back in leftover desperation.

“Was it about him?”

Luffy leans against you, hopeless and drained, you don’t need him to answer so you just press your cheek against his and pet his hair. And his shoulders shake as he cries silently in your arms.

You rest there for a few minutes, unable to do much other than just hold him, and he whispers in your ear, “I miss him so much.” Which wets your eyes because there’s so much pain in those five words. His voice is breathy, far away.

“I know, Lu… I’m sorry.” You’re not good at this, you think. You never really know what to say because this goes deeper than words can touch.

Luffy bites his lips. He doesn’t want to cause you pain and knowing that he is, it’s just piling on top of his despair. There’s so many times he’s oblivious to how you’re feeling but when things are broken, when you’re in distress, reality tugs at the inside of his heart.

“I’ve got you,” you whisper, fingers in his hair, you kiss his neck gently and the warmth is getting through to him, so gradually.

“I want him here. I just…” Luffy’s voice is breaking. And you taste fresh tears as you move your lips higher. “I miss him,” he says again.

“I know how much he meant to you. Hey, Luffy…” The slow rise and fall of your chest is slowly steadier his breath now. He looks up at you, that sadness in his eyes is almost too painful to handle but you look at him anyways, eye contact with something beautiful soothes his soul. “He’d be so proud of you. And how strong you are.”

He’s heard this before. Luffy sniffles, he knows it’s true but only so much of that can help.

“He’d be proud of you, because you never gave up, right? You kept going and you got stronger.” And you’re not talking about his physical strength, really. You tap the side of his head gently. “Up here.”

Luffy nods subtly, his tears are stopping slowly as he clings to the comfort of your words, his greatest comfort in the world is protecting people he loves, being there for someone. He’s still guilt ridden at letting his brother die for him but as long as he keeps living he’s living for Ace, honoring him, being there for him even if he’s gone.

And that’s what you say next, reading his mind. “What matters is that you’re alive. You didn’t let what he did for you go to waste, he’d be so proud of that. This is exactly what he wanted, yeah?” Your hands trace circles on Luffy’s back as you feel him relax very slowly.

“I’m so happy you’re still here,” you whisper right in his ear.

“Mhm…” Luffy’s lips find yours, hovering, just touching you. “I’m not letting you go, ‘kay?” His words are so deep and genuine. There’s heartache there but an impenetrable love, most of all. His arms are flexed around your body, he’s squeezing you and it’s almost uncomfortable but you have to let him right now.

“I’m not going anywhere.” You manage a smile which makes him smile too.

It seemed impossible for Luffy to get even more loving but he definitely was when you saw him again. You’re the one who’s getting it all, all the affection he wanted to give to his brother.

“You wanna hang out for a while?” You offer because you’re scared to let him sleep again. “It’s ok to stay up. If you’re tired tomorrow I’ll take a nap with you.”

He likes that idea. Maybe you’ll get something to eat, even take a walk on the deck if it’s not too cold. He just wants your company. He wants to spend as much time with you as he physically can to make up for everything and to show you how much love he has to give.

“I love you, mh, let’s stay up an’ hang out,” his words are quiet and gravelly from sleep and tears but what matters is he’s smiling now. He’s back to living in the moment tonight, and you’re his moment.

The next morning he’ll be completely back to himself. He’ll kiss you good morning but he’ll act like the night never happened, probably, because it’s nicer to be happy and enjoy the day. He has you, he knows everything’s going to be alright.

#luffy x reader angst #luffy x reader #one piece #luffy #one piece x reader #one piece fanfiction #luffy x y/n #luffy x you #luffy x gn!reader #luffy angst #one piece angst

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