#it genuinely reminds me of the time in high school where my friend pointed out the slight lisp i had and i was confused because

[noblest-roman-of-them-all]

Hi! Just dropping in to say your Roceit family Au story sounds super interesting, I look forward to reading it! But I noticed you are switching the 'e' and 'i' in Roceit around, so especially for tagging purposes I wanted to make you aware that it's the other way around 😅

I appreciate you so much, anon. I do so very seriously wonder if I should have been screened for dyslexia as a kid, but alas! I went to an incredibly small Christian school with zero resources in that way. I will definitely be keeping an eye out on that. Spell check and auto correct are great for the most part, but those made up words are a whole other beast.

And thank you so much for interest in the story. I was feeling a little uncertain about the whole thing last night, but this was really encouraging to wake up too.

May your coffee always be the correct temperature and may your snacks always be exactly what you want.

[steviewashere]

Tell Me, What Is My Life Without Your Love? (Chap. 1/?)

Rating: Teen and Up CW: Blood Mentions, Premature Grief/Mourning, Talks of Death Tags: Post-Canon, Hanahaki Disease, Childhood Friends AU, Childhood Friends to Enemies to Friends to Strangers to Friends to Lovers, (This is a Doozy), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Endgame Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson Other additional tags to be added! If you'd like to be tagged for chapter updates, please let me know, I'd love to add you! Title from "What Is Life" by George Harrison Also available to read on AO3

🥀————————🥀 When the first petal falls, it's after he's smiled at.

Steve doesn't know why it happens this time. The petals. Why, after countless failed dates and relationships, his body chooses now to remind him so cruelly the reason he doesn't go for things like this anymore. He falls in love fast, or at least that's the observation thrown at him. That he falls in love fast, headfirst, and deep. He did that with Nancy—failed—and Robin—rejected—and now...

Eddie Munson doesn't like jocks. Or douchebags. Or people who've been douchebags. He's made that loud and clear since their first day together in high school; climbing onto tables with his gangly limbs and crowing voice, yelling on and on about conformity and popularity and parties. About rich kids with their silver spoons and their parents with money-loaded pockets. Throwing bills at the problems and if that didn't fix it all, words at the problems. There had been a particular day, during one of the early lunch rushes, where Eddie had made direct and purposeful eye contact with Steve—"Conformity is the mind killer. I bet some of you were the sweetest of the bunch. Well, before your parents had anything to say about it."

They haven't talked about that. The...conformity of it all.

It's fuzzy to Steve, the happenstance in all this—where Eddie existed in his life previously, the way they got along like a house on fire, and then somewhere died out. The embers flew. Ash spread. And the framework of the house disintegrated.

There had been something there, though, something Eddie wanted to make obvious. What it was, Steve couldn't say. Like a mumbled lyric on a cassette that was giving out, the tape spooled, and the lubricant dried. He could hear the bass, but not the melody—and though Eddie was mocking the wrongs Steve did, he's not quite sure what exactly they were. Why Eddie hated him so much, in the before. He knew of them before high school—childhood friends—and during high school—distant rivals—and after high school, the reluctant teammates. Steve figured it all watered down to pointless high school cliques; wherein they ignored each other just because. No real reason, just a jumble of things. Class differences and the one year age gap and the way Eddie had been held back, the way Steve stumbled through school, yet made it out on top just because his parents were respected people—unlike Eddie's own.

They aren't friends before the Upside Down. Not exactly, yet not rivals either.

Steve didn't know what to call them. Acquaintances? Even then, the word felt too hollow in comparison to whatever Eddie was holding onto. To whatever Steve cherished at one point.

Saving the world together aided their whole friendship.

At least, the scraps of their friendship. Mending them together to make some ambiguous quilt.

They get along fine. Joking with one another, teasing each other, can hang out one on one. Eddie likes to come into Family Video and bother the hell out of Steve. And Steve will come in through one of the trailer's windows to give a drop-in visit. There's nothing wrong with their friendship, in fact everything seems to be going very right.

But then he got his heart involved.

Truly involved.

Hence why, during a hang out last night, when Eddie smiled at him—one of those big, genuine, soft ones—Steve started to feel a little tickle in his throat. It felt as if somebody took their fingers to the back of his throat, fluttering their fingertips along his windpipe. He drank some water, the feeling didn't go away, so he excused himself back home.

Now, what is the next morning, he's looking down at a palmful of dark purple, moist, crumpled up rose petals. The kind that fall off the bouquet, to the floor, walked all over by people's disgustingly muddy shoes. They're soft when he strokes them. Fragile and flimsy if he digs his fingernails in a little too roughly.

He's not sure what to make of them. What to do with them. Steve sets them on his bedside table and hopes that maybe he's just...just seeing things. He has to be. Has to.

Because otherwise—

Hanahaki. The flower illness. Sprouting petals, then buds, then fully bloomed prizes of an affection deemed undesirable. The patient desires, believes their enamored feelings to be reject-able, deniable, and begins to sprout. Unrequited love. Believed to be unrequited.

It's not supposed to be that serious, what he feels for Eddie. Just one of those wishful thinking things, he tells himself, I've got a measly crush on the guy, it'll pass. Like Sandy and Danny's fling in Grease; summer loving, gone at the end, something to look back on every once in a while and reflect upon. But, well...they end up together in the end, don't they?

Shit, Steve thinks, this is happening.

He coughs, wetly, and spits another two petals into his right hand. Sticky with his spit. Moistened with Eddie's half-resentment. Crumpled under the weight of Steve's wants and desires, left to be unfulfilled; he may have been bought materialistically by his parents, but the love he's craved is just that—a craving.

These petals are the by-product of an empty home. Of friendships created from what he had, not what he could offer. And shallow hookups where he sought out heat and touch like a wild animal ready to curl into its death, into the soft bed of the universe.

Steve squishes the petals. He wipes his lips with the back of his hand. And he continues on with his day.

Goes to work. Hides evidence in toilet paper wads. Eats a candy bar from the rack to cover up the floral scent on his tongue. Cowers in the backroom when Eddie parks his van, tries to come in and talk to him. And then he goes home—unfulfilled.

By the time he's back in bed, there are enough petals to create a full rose.

He wonders how long he has before he could create a bouquet.

No way in hell is he talking to Eddie about all this. They may be friends, but it may just be out of reluctance. They may be friends, but it may just be on Steve's end. They may be friends, but Eddie still has his grudges. And Steve?

Steve is one of those grudges.

He sleeps on his side that night, just to make sure he can breathe. When he wakes up half way through, a stark image of Eddie's pale face in the blue Upside Down, brown eyes bigger than the world, and blood smeared on his cheek, Steve rolls over the side of his bed and hurls another handful of petals—he's dying from this, because that's what Hanahaki does.

It's a beautiful sort of death, he supposes. A stupid one, too. An unnecessary one, he knows that. He can't change it, though. If this is it, then so be it.

Eddie probably hates his guts.

And Steve refuses to let him feel guilty. Chrissy and Patrick had been enough. No reason to add to that. He may not be different than the douchebag in high school, but Eddie had said good and so he'll take that; if this is the last good act he does, he'll just stomach it. He'll just power through like he does. Not the first time he's been nearing death's doorstep. There'll be blood eventually, probably, but for now there isn't.

For now, he's choking.

He loves Eddie and is choking over it.

————— The coughing makes him ache.

Water doesn't help his sore throat. Hot baths prove to be fruitless when trying to soothe himself. And the odd tickle effect intensifies if he even spends a moment, a single second, to spot a thought over Eddie.

When he faced the great evils of the Upside Down, he was afraid, but willing. If it had to be him that was mauled, beaten, drained, then he took it. He was the brute in a lot of ways. A hero's sacrifice, that's what he deemed it. Though, in retrospect, would anybody call him a hero for the way he acted—was it just stupidity rearing its ugly head, was it just the after thought of an after thought, the last call to arms when the other plans dwindled down to shadows and bones? He took the swings and he cried out in pain and he whittled himself to the sluggish pour of blood; but was it him being the good guy, or simply the okay guy that sought out forgiveness from his surroundings?

He's apologized time and time and time again. It started with Nancy. Then, the camera he bought for Jonathan. The snippy comments turned into apologetic pouts when Dustin didn't laugh, or Max didn't smile, or Hopper began to cast this look of 'I know what you've done before.' If he laughed a little too hard at one of Robin's laments, he squished up his face and choked on his breath and shout out a sorry before the anger could paint her freckles red.

Steve's looked Eddie dead in the eyes and said, "I'm sorry for who I was before," but it didn't seem to be enough. There's this gaze that Eddie calls upon. Something stuck between regret and rage; an offense when his lips won't form the words, when his fists won't throw the punches, when he doesn't want to leave the room with a huff. Like he's contemplating something tumultuous and mad.

He would've died for Eddie.

Not like this, though. He doesn't want to die like this.

He doesn't want to die at all.

Robin's laughter echoes light in the shadows of his house. And Dustin's theories run him ragged, yet satisfied—like a run around a track would, breathless and tired. Nancy finally looks at him sweetly. And Max is just beginning to smile with all her teeth again.

None of this, he doesn't want to miss any of this yet. He needs a better job. To share an apartment with Robin even though it would drive him crazy. Needs to make pancakes only to eat them in his bed and spill syrup on his pillows and throw a tiny fit of rage. Read upside down, hanging sideways from the arm of his couch, the words swimming in a way that will never make sense, all with the flicker of candlelight thrown over his slow to redden face. To adopt a dog that gets impatient when needing to pee before being fully trained, a dog that'll wiggle when waiting for dinner, a dog that'll bend around his body and star-sprawl across his mattress—leaving him to the floor or the couch or nothing at all.

There's always something that he wants and can't quite have.

He thinks of them between petals.

Cough. To attend Erica's graduation. Cough. To watch Robin fall in love. Cough. To officiate Dustin's wedding. Cough. To drink ice cold weak lemonade just because Jonathan made it when stoned. Cough. To see Eddie happy. Coughcoughcoughcoughcoughcough—

A thorn spills out and splits his lip.

There's blood coating the damned thing. Blood on his palms. On his chin. Between his teeth.

Is loving Eddie worth dying over?

If he answers himself with no, would that make him a worse person?

If Eddie found out the answer, would Steve crumple at the reaction?

Is loving Eddie worth dying over? He thinks he'll die no matter what.

There's a thorn on his love line. Metallic under his tongue. When he finds the strength to dial Robin and she answers, all he does is sob.

————— "Steve," she whispers, horrified, at his hands.

When Robin talks low, her voice crackles around the edges. Like a dying wick in a candle. She smells like one, of wet earth and freshly tumbled linen. And her eyes do this odd thing, sparkling as if they're shaken up and ready to burst. Her gaze finds his and her own hands float over his petal-full palms.

She won't touch him.

It makes him wheeze.

"How long?" Robin then asks.

"Two weeks," Steve answers quieter than she had spoken—like a tepid kettle inside during a thunderstorm. "After...after I came home from Hellfire's meeting at the Wheeler's."

Her fingers wrap hesitantly around his wrists. That's odd, he notes, she's usually colder. Doesn't know what to do with that.

But she seems to. Asking all the right questions. "Nancy?"

He shakes his head.

"Is it...was it Jonathan?"

Steve scrunches his nose, shakes his head, whimpers around his next breath because—

"It's Eddie," Robin concludes, "you're doing this over Eddie."

When he coughs and can't spit into his palms, they watch the petals and thorns spray from his mouth, as if they're shrapnel in an explosion. He's not sure what that makes him. His heart the grenade? Or his body the casing? There's a fresh glob of his pink blood-mixed spit across her cheek, she reaches up and wipes it away gently. Savoring it almost. Rubs it between her right thumb and index finger. And then she sighs.

"What do I do, Robs?" he manages to croak.

She swallows hard as if she's digesting his soon-to-be-buds. "I don't know," Robin admits. "It's either you confess or"—

"Won't I die if he rejects me?"

"It's possible." Which, in Robin talk, when she's trying to not ignite the whole room in panic, means yes.

He doesn't like it when she lies to him. Makes him squirm, sour inside. If there's anything he's learned from his parents, or at least because of his parents, it's that lying is on the basis of distrust. And if he's made her not trust him, then maybe he hasn't changed at all.

Which means that he's going to—

"I don't want to die," he murmurs—the words are knives against his lips, each invisible straight line cutting against his flesh. His fingers scrunch around the petals still in his palms, brittle they are, yet stained with him. There's heat in his face, a sharp stabbing betrayal between his eyes, and the first tear rolls before he can do anything about it. "Robs," he squeaks, "I'm not ready. It's not...it's not fair, I'm not ready."

When she cups his head, presses it against her stomach, and simply brushes his hair without words, it only makes him weep harder.

The thing about his friendship with Robin, is that they're able to figure pretty much anything. They'll bicker over movies until one concedes. At times, when her words are faster than her brain, he always finds a way to bring her back from the clouds, put the world as it is out for her. A rude customer means an even ruder comment. And that's just the foundations. Since Scoops, that's what they've been. Best friends that have each other's backs.

Robin's incredibly intelligent. She doesn't believe him when he says that, but it's true. In his personal opinion, her intelligence is a fact of life. The sky is blue, grass is green, and she is fucking smart. She'll put the logistics into Nancy's whirlwind action-packed plans. She knows how to bring a bully down to protect those around her. She just gets it.

This can't be solved between them.

"Let's make you a doctor's appointment, okay?" she finally suggests. "They'll know what to do. Where to go from here. Okay, Stevie? Maybe they can calm the symptoms, prolong your time. Give you the time to charm Eddie's socks right off. He'll have no choice but to"—

"I'm not gonna trap him," Steve says, "but I'll see a doctor. Get a couple more weeks."

She strokes her hands through his hair. Her fingernails are freshly cut, dull against his scalp. "You shouldn't have to leave me yet."

He sniffles. "I shouldn't have fallen in love with somebody who clearly doesn't want me."

Her fingertips press firmly into his soft skin. "You don't know that, Steve."

"No," he sighs, "I guess I don't."

She says nothing to that. He’s unsure whether it’s in agreement or some new wave of disapproval. Whatever it is makes her hold him tighter. As if, maybe, she could squeeze the oncoming roses right out of him—make him look like the dilapidated home of a weeping widow, his insides spattered as brittle, solemn condolences from a memorial only strangers came to; as if he’s an overstuffed teddy bear, practically spilling at the seams with love.

He is, so it’s not a metaphor, but why won’t anybody take what’s extra?

Would the rose petals be pressed and turned into keepsakes?

Oh, Steve? Yeah, I wish he were here. He is, I guess, wrapped around my neck. Like a beating heart on a string, he thinks Robin would say something poetic like that in a passing conversation. He’d be one of those stale conversation starters. A small talk that people flip over for days after, cursing themselves for commenting about his hair rather than his eyes, or for his laugh instead of his words, or the thin gap between his front teeth over a complete regime of his exact style memorialized.

If they all gather in his honor, who puts together his obituary? Who’d be included in it? Steve Harrington, survived by his parents—they aren't cruel friends—Steve Harrington, survived by his friends—obituaries don't write home about friends, only lovers and estranged second cousins and spiteful parents who have curled lips and furrowed brows. Obituaries are for bragging. Steve Harrington, once shot a three pointer from half-court during a non-championship game. Obituaries are for lying to the world to make a person look better. Steve Harrington, loved by all.

The flowers—is it distasteful to blossom flowers at a Hanahaki victim's funeral? Would his casket be open? His face, would it be discolored purple from the petals, would he be marbled green like the dead, would the mortuary paint him pale as if caught in the moonlight? The clothes picked, a starchy suit he wore consistently to funerals, is it in bad taste to use mourner's clothes that had already absorbed the mourning?

Would his parents go cold and numb over his death? Would they flame with rage? Would they fight and fight and fight and demand and demand and demand for a cure to be found? Would the cure be invasive? Would the cure be slow simmering? Who else dies from this? Are they just like him? The petals now mirrors?

Is he overthinking this?

Would they just cremate him? Where would they spread him?

Would Robin go crazy with grief, eat him like dry cereal out of his urn? Would Dustin cradle him and weep? Would somebody finally speak up, "Good riddance," would they be so cruel?

Is he overthinking this?

I'm being realistic, he thinks, death is a permanent state.

Will they remember me, he asks, am I loved enough for that?

I don't feel like it, I don't feel like it, I don't feel like it, I don't want to feel like this, I don't want this, I don't want this, I don't want to—

"You're not going to die," he distantly hears Robin say, firmly, too, "I'll make sure."

"You can't," Steve chokes out, warbling and wet, sobbing, "you can't know"—

"I've seen Hell," she husks, "there has to be a way out of this. There just has to."

Denial, he questions, isn't that just the first stage of grief?

🥀————————🥀 Taglist is Open!

[https-chaostv]

Here is my list of bands that aren’t emo but I listened to as a baby emo

Three Days Grace

-The starter band for baby emos and Creepypasta kids, you likely geeked out to AIHB or Break

-You definitely grew up on divorced dad rock like me (best memories)

Get Scared

-Drown and Sarcasm had me in a chokehold in middle school, could not get enough of them

DYDFTS specifically because of Ticci Toby, my day one comfort character 🔥

Disturbed

-Classic dad metal band, Inside the Fire still goes hard to this day

-Indestructible got me through my days of avoiding the mirror at all costs

Breaking Benjamin

-God where do I even begin with them

-I would listen to them in Chem class in high school to get myself through my work without crying

-Was absolutely gutted by Dear Agony at some point

-Maximum teen angst

°*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*°

Now for bands that were technically emo but third(?) wave

Panic! At The Disco

-Classic emo trinity

-Destroyed my vocal chords trying to sing This Is Gospel while home alone

-I get flashbacks to “Beebo” and shitty destroyed converse and red flannel when I hear the first note of any of their old songs

-Listened to the entire album “Pray for the Wicked” in the barber shop while doing an intense roleplay with my internet bestie

Fall Out Boy

-Once started jamming in the middle of a water park when the radio started playing “Sugar, We’re Goin Down”

My Chemical Romance

-Still to this day, I hear Black Parade and suddenly I have thick eyeliner one and am in formation at the exact moment I hear the G note play

-“Mama” became my trans masc anthem as a 19 year old

-Disenchanted is still underrated and it makes my bones ache

-A lot of their older albums are unappreciated

Hollywood Undead

-Showed my mom some of their songs and was surprised she liked them

-Another Way Out made me feel like one of Slenderman’s proxies, good memories

Falling in Reverse

-I hate the singer, like the music

-Would jam out to Game Over with my best friend while riding our friend’s golf cart around the block

-Still like a few of their songs ngl

Green Day

-CLASSIC EMO BAND THEY NEVER GET OLD

-Boulevard of Broken Dreams has never felt overplayed for me, that song got me through the parents’ divorce

-WMUWSE played after I lost my stepdad and I’ll never forget the feeling of finally relating to that song. Still makes me cry when it plays.

-A lot of songs of theirs still go underrated imho, yeah everyone loves the popular songs but their albums are genuinely a good listen, too. Worth my time.

21 Pilots

-Once again brings me back to my red flannel and black beanie days

-I hear Migraine and suddenly I’m a loser 15 year old reading Percy Jackson books in history class only interested in Film Class and my sketchbook of shitty fan arts

-Reminds me of that one friend I had a massive crush on but didn’t tell her until she was about to move away (we could’ve had something, man)

Meg & Dia

-Monster, to this day, still holds up. It’s popular for a reason.

-I love their early music, very good.

-Brings me back to middle school playing FNAF on my mom’s iPad and texting people on kik chat.

[mizz-nymph]

Attention: if you are not @hebemina then I advise you don’t respond to this cause just by that you’ll embarrass yourself by proving my points and being literal proof.

Id like to say that me and her where friends but during the time we where friends she had her weird moments and her alright moments especially when we first met, it wasn’t her acting like the adult it was me, funnily enough I started referring to her as a sister cause that’s what I do when I worry about how a person views me, it was clear I was uncomfortable and got my friend who remember the first encounter and how I reacted to this ask a while back, hell I even asked them how to respond to the ask cause I was in such a panic. When looking at it, I’m genuinely disgusted how she didn’t even apologise or better herself, everyone keeps saying she’s better but she isn’t and it’s really sad how harmful it is especially to the people she spoke with that she made uncomfortable.

(She was drunk and I was mortified and didn’t even know how to respond so I danced around it I’ll admit that but thing is she didn’t even apologize)

Now it’s hard to show this from the past cause of personal stuff but since some people already know about it I guess I just gotta grow some balls. I’m showing this from the past cause I came across it a while ago and got disgusted, I was a child and I was mortified so much so I asked my friends how to respond to it and was so ashamed and embarssed I thought I deleted this but luckily didn’t cause one can realize how horrid this is. What’s funny is a DECENT AND SENSITIVE AND CARING PERSON would apologise! You never apologized Mina! and this wasn’t the first time you got weird with me! Seriously! Atleast have the decency to say sorry! But not just this you’ve many times turned our platonic and happy convos to something straight up weird, I ended up deleting many on my blog cause of unlike you I feel embarrassed!

I went through a hard year and having someone like this disturb me online was the icing on the cake but of course I was too embarssed and scared to say anything about it cause I feared I’d be yelled at, by your followers, yeah allot of you made me not even want to stand up for myself and say “what you are doing is rubbing me the wrong way” despite her knowing my age, and despite me reminding her constantly at that time I kept saying “haha I’m in high school”. So to the people reading this, dont make her seem like she Dosent know the age of her followers cause she lurks, she lurks around even accounts she has now ignored just cause said acount has a different opinion then her.

Thought I didn’t notice? I easily noticed how you and @hanaiikiki or whatever TF her name is now stopped talking to me as a whole and started ignoring my existence, even when I was geniunely trying to be nice etc, you stopped when I voiced my opinion about Loki, Hana going as far as telling people she Dosent know me (girl I got ears everywhere, when I heard this I was shocked cause I thought we where good!) despite me clearly stating as a continuation I don’t care what anyone likes and Dosent like it’s the VICTIM BLAMING, that’s wrong and also rly weird. So I don’t understand why both of you would let a fictional character come between a nice mutual friendship, especially you Hana I geniunely liked talking to you I liked talking mythology and liked sending you asks, you where really nice and kind with me and didn’t weird me out like Mina but it’s clear you have no self identity what so ever. But of course, no worries! I have no need for you! I know who my people are and aren’t and you aren’t one of em that’s for sure. As for Mina, yeesh girl yeesh that’s all I got when it comes to this, cause again no self respect self shame or friendship is magic in this case, but then again you’re no use of me either so I’ll say I’m glad you don’t speak to me anymore cause you creeped me out many times :)

just cause someone hides behind a cute kind persona dose not always mean that’s what they are on the inside dishonesty is sm. I’m honestly so dissapointed so many here defend her and say she’s changed instead of her saying she has, let her speak for herself if she’s so much so as the adult she claims to be.Let her speak cause I’m amazed how everyone walks eggshells around her cause she’s “sensitive” that is a insult to sensitive people as a whole.

I’m not going to mention who cause I want them to rest easy cause they are dear to me and what they experienced today breaks my heart they’re so sweet and didn’t deserve any of this, but when Mina apologized to them, Mina used the excuse of “I didn’t know you where a minor” despite her MENTONING THEIR AGE! Everyone knows people that know what they’re doing use that excuse, they lie, they will always go with this excuse, don’t get offended and stop reading now Mina I ain’t calling you a pedo, I’m calling you a dumbass, a real big dumbass as a whole for that shit apology and excuse. A victim of harassment Dosent deserve this, and a “sorry” dose not make up for the trauma the victim suffered let alone this type of “sorry”.

(I’m covering the name cause I rly feel bad for who experienced this and believe the poor thing has experienced enough today of all days like good god I don’t even want anyone to comfort me I’m fine! Just show some support and love to this victim cause good god)

there’s a line with senstivity and irresponsibility, and if it weren’t for me sending a respectful i REPEAT a respectful I’m a respectful person that’s how my mama raised me, anon ask saying you shouldn’t interact with minors much cause they’re easy to influenced and they see what you post easily etc etc, the useless “minors do not interact” wouldn’t be there. Oh and it’s hilarious how you have it there and still interact with said minors? Sweetie? It’s not there for show! Lotus? Heldril? Goddamm new comers? Children copy and children get affected! And you’ve clearly traumatized and affected a bunch! If you’re a so called elderly care giver you should know how to care for others that aren’t just you, make it make sense!

Oh and let’s not leave this out the cake. It’s funny how you talk about masturbating in public and how you vent in public, letting literally people who are younger than you be your therapist, or witness you sexting IN PUBLIC keep it in the dms woman! have so shame! This isn’t red lobster you embarrassing yourself! I ain’t slut shaming you cause I’m the queen of sluts, I’ve been called a slut for years and I didn’t even know about it so don’t think I’m slut shaming you. But really How wonderful really! A nurse! Who gose through the struggle of whipping elderly asses for a living! Doesn’t go to a therapist and relays on people decades younger than her! Get a damm therapist! Be ashamed! Seriously take some responsibility!

Not to mention I still remember how people expressed geniune concern for you and you milked it and said “see you on the other side” who says that! I was one of those people! I actually worried? But I woke up and realized what the fuck is this? Are you serious??? Some of these people who are worried for you are younger by years?? Some even minors?! Get a grip??! Where’s the responsibility?? It’d be better to write about your horny thoughts on a blog strictly for NSFW! I deadass told you to in the anon ask cause you need to be responsible! And dont you dare post a “im sorry 🥺” post! I know your type and I know them well! Just by that post where you explained yourself about the whole issue of you saying you want to make out with a minor, says allot. You didn’t address the issue! You just said it’s okay to hate you! You didn’t even defend yourself! Well for one Mina, I don’t hate you, I just hate the way you act,behave and your personality as a whole because that “sorry” will never cut the anxiety and horrible memory as a whole, be ashamed a bit, it’s not funny to make everything sexual and as a adult you should understand that.

What you did to those mods and roleplayers? I’m still speechless and have Vietnam flashbacks when it comes to the public sexting good god, atleast as if it’s okay to do NSFW and sent a literal pic of you bust? I know dirty I’m the QUEEN of dirty that hand on your top pulling the shirt a little lower shocked me so much my eyebrows left to Saturn and had a baby with the planet! I’ve got eyebrow planet grandkids now that’s how shocked I was. Not to mention the mod was 19 you are literally a decade older girl- tf is this lore Olympus? I know you like lore Olympus but girl lore Olympus is lowkey shit no offence. Honestly no wonder the mod stopped roleplaying and deleted the acounts cause good god girl- atleast have the decency to ask?

It’s really funny! Just a big joke really!

I for one was a friend with yo!u until I realized your true colors, I’m disappointed and consider this pathetic. I used to think you were nice and kind but I was met with dissapointment you genuinely disappointed me, hurt me and not only me but many others, don’t beat yourself about it just accept the fact that you did and just remove yourself from said minors and ACTUALLY BE RESPONSIBLE, before you hurt even more people.

As for the ones reading this,

You all know me and I’m pretty sure this is shocking seeing me a person here on tumblr call out the so called sweet Mina but honestly, people! nobodies perfect! Are you kidding me?? Get it through your skulls! She isn’t perfect and I’m not saying to hate her I’m saying to stop treating her like a child! when actual children here are being harmed! I’ve seen minors on here who deadass have been affected by her! And nobody I say nobody! don’t you dare say she didn’t know what she was doing that’s a insult to the victims and disgusting in general.

Also it’s not the ror fandom that’s changing, this has nothing to do with ror, to anyone reading this know this, it’s the Mina fandom that’s changing, not the ror fandom I’ve been in the ror community long before her and if sm was changing I’d know.

I’m deadass saying this despite me being a decade younger then Mina, I’m not saying this as a friend, not as a friend cause I don’t see you as that anymore and will never will ever again, im saying this as a person who’s going to be honest with you,

Keep it real

Enough of this self cantered,narcissistic ,immature, shameful,irresponsible and selfish behavior, you should be able to expect opinions like this, stop hiding behind your followers and say what you have in mind Mina and DONT dance around the issue, I read your “apology” post when the Heldirl issue raised to light, you didn’t even talk about the issue in hand, you just said it’s okay to hate you! Three paragraphs!! don’t dance around this, and you know what, Don’t even respond if you plan on doing that, cause that just proves the point.

Just know I don’t respect you not just cause of you being weird in the past with me but also with others specifically others I care about, so don’t come crying to me cause I geniunely don’t care I know these types of etiquettes, a sorry will never cut shit like I said so call me a cruel bitch idc ig it’s fair 🤷🏻‍♀️ just know I DONT respect you one bit,good day.

Tagging

@amphitriteswife @tinyy-tea-cup @mono-supports-palestine @praisethesuuun @riseofamoonycake @brokensenseofhumor @monstertreden @heldril @lotusmybeloved @nicasdreamer @ idk

idk who tf else to tag aaaa 💀 but yeah that’s my take on all of this respect me hate me I don’t care I rather be hated for who tf I am then who I pretend to be and who I am is a person to keeps it real 🤨

[redblogavm]

a ramble on avtumblr's red & dark's bond

note: ignore any wording or grammar errors !! this was originally a ramble i sent to my friends, but i put alot of effort into it so im sharing it here w/ some slight edits just for wordflow :3c

red's just NOW finding out about what dark did to ghostie on the red blog, soooo what better time than to yap about how ive had red view tdl on the blog ?? :3c

it mostly stems from this from reds and tdls first interaction

despite red having the vibes of a disney princess i dont see red as the one to instantly forgive and all, like GENUINE forgiveness, (expecially when their friends being hurt and all are involved)

however !! contradictory thought i do also see red as one to give others the benefit of the doubt, because red likee reds canon personality is just like determination and all, like if you look at monster school red just did NOT give up on his team despite them literally BULLYING him (& suree arguably that could just be because red was trying to find a way back to the nether BUT im using it for this !!)

so with those kinda mashed together, reds just moreso been in a state of TOLERATING dark more than "i absolutely forgive you we're buddies now !!" (as much as i would love that though </3), because i kinda see reds internal thought process like "yeahhh this guy killed me and my friends !!! and that sucked !!! but hes not a threat ?? so he can just exist around me"

and also because like, the showdown WOULD have been scarring for red obviously but red DID die first, so red probably wouldnt have the same gutteral reaction as the rest of the colorgang of "i saw you kill my friends in front of my own eyes, hell no !!" sorta thing but moreso "well all i remember is ME being hurt, and just having the knowledge that my friends WERE hurt" sorta thing, as to why i see red being a little moreee tolerating with it and all

but like even though red hasnt been at the point of forgiveness with tdl they HAVE had changed views on him compared to the beginning of the blog

at the beginning of the blog, red was definitely alot more weary than xe is/was now over dark, because red has kinda got the proof as time went on that "oh, this guy really ISNT a massive threat he cant actually do anything to harm any of us !!" sorta thing !!

like red said before, hes still gonna jab at dark for the whole murder thing because 1) red finds it funny and 2) because to red its kinda a reminder to dark but also themselfs of "hey i dont forgive you or forget about this but i dont absoutely HATE you for it now" sorta deal ??? if that makes any sense

but like i think the main thing for red of being more....not entirely forgiving but..... more lenient with dark ?? stems mostly from the cat arc, cause wellll.....red was "high" on catnip you could have held a knife up to them and they wouldve just stared at you /j

BUT red being on catnip made them WAY too relaxed to have the whole internal epiphany of "well i still dont fully trust this guy im still weary but hes okay to be within 5 feet of me" sorta thing !! red was just a happy cat !!!

and thus with red being back to normal and REMEMBERING that "oh. this was dark, aka the same dark lord that killed my friends years ago, but he was kind to me as a cat, didnt actually cause any damage on the pc, didnt do xyz thing of harm" had red be more LENIENT with dark and honestly probably alot more trusting of him since dark was quite literally in the same vicinity of red and their friends, red was vunerable as a cat, and dark didnt do anything malicious !!

then even after the cat arc, red and dark did interact more, if anything i think i actually had red interact first with tdl other than tdl interacting with red first like it was before (if we dont count the post of red asking tdl to go ghost blow up green, but that was moreso red using that to get back at green then genuine buddy-buddy interaction from reds pov) because then this is where red has more trust in tdl !!

and then the ghost arc, whenever tdl shows up this time on the pc, reds fine with it because dark gave red the trust of being on it before and not causing harm !!

so literally red at the start is just like "oooh hi dark !!! yeah you can bully this ghost i think itll be funny lolol !!!" because reds comfortable enough to not be on edge or weary of tdl being around at this point !!

and thenn fast forward to when red starts to lose trust in the anons for hurting them when the anons tried to hurt ghostie, and then dark tries to talk to red, reds still petty about the murder thing, if anything a little more about it right now given the circumstance !! BUT RED. STILL TRUSTS DARK ENOUGH to not have to be weary or watch over him like a hawk compared to red absolutely wanting NOTHING to do with the anons at this momentttt !!!!

around this time period, red was all "no generating random items i dont trust you guys to be left to your own devices rn" to the anons, meanwhile despite still being reasonably pissed off red STILL. HAD. ENOUGH TRUST IN DARK. to let him talk to ghostie ALONE. ON THE PC.

so, moral of the story is, red WAS beginning to trust dark here a little more !! and honestly, would've been on the path of forgiving later on !!

but dark killing ghostie ? we'll seeeeee how red reacts to that on the actual blog :3c

( bonus screenshot that i think is funny from when i was yapping about this: )

[anarchy-and-piglins]

hi yes hello i heard human!techno and nonhuman!everyone else and came running... whether it's osmp, space au, vampire au (always love rereading tasting your blood means i love you chapters if I forget something) i love this trope it's always so good.

Anyway! Human techno headcanons! I like to think that since a lot of the others living in the commune have claws, they sometimes accidentally nick techno with their claws occasionally (ie, they're really excited and grab his arm a little too tightly *cough tommy) and so he's got all these tiny little scars. And eventually someone notices and asks him about it, but techno doesn't want them to feel bad so he kinda stumbles/lies through the answer because he knows they genuinely mean no harm. Small angst but yk.

Now, say, the commune gets attacked. Some flee, others stay to fight. What's the best way to get the hybrids to stop fighting and draw the others out of hiding? Capture the soft fleshy human and use him as leverage, of course! Cue a small stab or sprain to techno in front of the commune folks to remind them how weak humans can be and how precarious the situation is. Cue the rescue team finding techno tired, hurt, and very reliant on their help to escape. Cue techno thinking of himself as a liability to the safety of the commune and, after his rescue, attempting to leave to keep them safe. (it doesn't work ofc, phil notices almost instantly that one of his fledglings friends is missing and tracks his down and reassures him of his value.)

I'm kinda surprised I haven't written any of these yet considering how much I rotate the trope in my brain but. high school. Oh well.

It's the best trope, the tastiest trope, MY MOST BELOVED TROPE!

The claw thing is so fun. Reminds me of people who have cats and are just covered in scratches all the time hehe. But it's great for a little bit of angst too. Any type of whump having to do with hurting a friend on accident is up my alley. And I can imagine that it's so easy to forget how vulnerable Techno is. Sure, some of the other hybrids have very specific weaknesses too but they seem easier to remember somehow - everybody knows Niki needs to be in water and everybody is automatically careful with Sneeg since he's so tiny. But for some reason with Techno it slips their minds (perhaps also because Techno tries very hard to seem like he doesn't have any weaknesses) that he's rather squishy and has no special powers or hybrid biology to protect himself.

I'd love to read a fic where one or multiple of the other members of the commune accidentally hurt Techno through their hybridness and get to feel really guilty. And obviously Techno would never hold it against them.

AND YES, somebody else using Techno against them is also very fun. I don't think Techno would much enjoy having it pointed out that he's the 'weak link'. He trains so much to overcompensate for all the abilities he's naturally lacking. But his family will knock some sense into him.

I'd eat up either idea really, these are wonderful!

[jc-martin-og]

CW: Long vent below.

I made this drawing in MS Paint one random night where I just felt really melancholic, almost suffocated in a way. It was an impulse that just came to me, and now that I look back on it, I guess it's a good shorthand for how I've felt for a good while. 

This year left me with a bittersweet sensation in its entirety. A mix of closure for some things, and lingering doubts left from most of them. I’ve wrapped up so many things that seemed necessary at the time, only to realise they left behind more questions than peace, still figuring out if everything was worth the effort. Some projects and goals I had from the year before didn’t take shape, swept away by constant change and the unrelenting adulthood demands on my time. But still, I should take some credit for giving myself enough time and organisation to complete some others, and learning from them how to move forward. Dreams can be cruel sometimes, usure if they'll either offer you illusions or genuine joy.

I experienced a lot of changes I never imagined I’d face in recent times. I watched the house I grew up in morph into something completely unrecognisable—feeling almost as if the few good memories I had from the place vanished with it. I said goodbye to so many people and places, each farewell leaving its own mark, and faced internal battles I had bottled up for years, confronting parts of my mind I was too afraid to explore.

Probably the most unexpected one was getting diagnosed with ASD after years of doubt and uncertainty about myself, after wondering for a while how possible of an idea it was. It left me shocked, almost at a loss, but also opened my eyes in ways both enlightening and challenging. It gave me some clarity about who I am and the reasons behind so much I’ve felt, but it also unearthed struggles I now see more clearly and must continue to navigate.

Related to that, seeking professional help became a turning point for me. But overall, it did help on seeing just how wild a thing serotonin is—how it can shift your world in ways you didn’t think possible. It made me see to how dangerous the mind can be when left unchecked, almost stranded. Not just about finding those highs but about understanding them, managing them, and making sure they don’t control you. It’s a process, learning to work with your mind instead of being at its mercy. It’s not easy, it never has, but it’s a lesson I’m constantly taking with me.

Reflecting on the years gone by, I think I started to truly appreciate and understand myself thanks to people who truly offered me that without anything in exchange. I’ve been learning how to really spend time with myself, how to work with myself, and what it means to feel at peace in a lot of unexpected places—even if I didn’t understand it at first. Going from people from abroad, school friends, families of friends who took me as one of their own—despite how alien their kindness felt, only for the bubble to blow up in my face and finally realise how neglected I’ve been my whole life from things like basic human dignity and care.

It has left behind a familiar, hollow ache that comes back at times. Perhaps most of those connections fade into memories by now, but I’d like to think they’ve left a mark strong enough to not fall into a really dim place. For a long time, all I knew was hatred and resentment—an anger I thought would stay with me forever, born from internal wounds that could never truly be resolved, even when I tried. That weight lingered for too long, shaping my view of the world and myself in a very damaging way. And while some of that bitterness hasn’t entirely faded, it has been soothed, little by little, by the rare and remarkable few who’ve shown me what kindness and healing means.

They reminded me that goodness isn’t just about grand gestures or idealistic perfection—it’s in the simple, honest ways we choose to care for others, without expectation. These experiences taught me to extend that same kindness inward, to treat myself with the respect I was denied for so long. And though I won't deny that the shadows of anger are still there, those lessons of goodness have given me something brighter to hold on to—a way forward, even when the past feels too heavy to carry. Their actions, often small but profoundly meaningful, chipped away those walls I had built.

I'd like to think that I've come to terms with the mistreatment and abandonment I’ve faced, often excused by circumstances that used to make sense, but cannot be undone. Forgiveness doesn’t come easily to me, nor have I ever considered myself as someone to give second chances freely, not when it was rarely offered to me for every mistake I made.

At the same time, I won’t deny that I’ve been a real piece of work when confronted with my context, or with those who sought to take advantage of me. I’ve chosen to meet the world with the same energy it gives me back. But despite how dire things have been, I’ve chosen to offer kindness where it’s needed and where it’s deserved, especially for those I care for who’ve been hurt, or those who have needed support and care—even if it didn’t come back at all.

I crossed paths with a good number of people from the past as well, those who knew a version of me that no longer exists. It was a stark reminder of how things have changed, of how much I’ve changed, and how the parts of me they remember are now just burned ashes I keep smelling along the way once in a while. Seeing them again brought mixed feelings—nostalgia for the past, but also a sense of disconnect, as if I was speaking with someone I didn’t know. I suppose those kinds of encounters do show you how much you’ve endured and how those experiences have shaped the person you are today.

I honestly don’t know what to expect anymore. The future feels like a path that’s both daunting and strangely freeing. Next year, I’ll be turning a quarter of a century, and at this point in my life, I wouldn’t call myself a pessimist, neither an optimist. I’ve learned to meet the world as it is, embracing its beauty while acknowledging its harshness. But I do know this; whatever lies ahead will be defined by what the world offers me, as it always has been, yet defined by how I choose to respond with responsability. Life has shown me that we’re shaped as much by the joy we find as by the trials we endure—the moments of light and shadow that make us who we are.

Thanks to all who have been part of this journey, and I hope that we can continue to illuminate it in the year ahead, as challenging as it may seem from here.

[yuriskies]

The Performative Romance of "Yuri Is My Job"

Content warning: Yuri Is My Job contains depictions of homophobia, bullying, and sexual assault.

My friend @esselfortium recently convinced me to read "Yuri Is My Job" (which from now on I'm going to refer to by its fan abbreviation, WataYuri), written by Miman. I'm glad she did, because WataYuri turned out to be an extremely pointed and engaging commentary on the yuri genre. I'll try to keep this review/recommendation mostly spoiler-free while highlighting what I think are the most interesting parts.

Hime Shiraki is a high school girl whose dream is to marry into money and to that end, cultivates a "facade" of the perfect people-pleaser. She is coerced into becoming a staff member at Cafe Liebe after 'injuring' the manager on the way home from school. Cafe Liebe is a roleplay cafe where the waitstaff perform in character as student council members of the Liebe Girls' Academy, a setting intended to mirror a Class S romance novel. The manga explores the character relationships between Hime (performing under the name Hime Shirasagi) and the other members of the staff as she settles into the new job.

At a surface level, WataYuri functions as a criticism of the Class S romance genre, which focuses on close, hierarchal relationships between women within girls-only schools. These relationships often take on the shape of performative romance as a form of emotional fulfillment in the absence of "real" partners (men) within the setting, justifying itself as preparation for courtship after graduation. These close relationships often doubled to disguise intimate same-sex relationships at a time when these relationships were illegal.

The Class S genre leans into the ambiguity between the real and the performative; simultaneously providing a form of quiet affirmation and a cautionary reminder to its audience. This dynamic is understandable given that it is a subversion of pre-war publishing standards and laws regarding same-sex relationships, but many of the themes and plot beats inspired, influenced and survived into modern yuri.

Miman crafts their story in a way that digs into the nature of these legacy ideas with a certain perverse glee. The ever-watchful eyes of the authorities are replaced by those of the parasocial audience Cafe Liebe cultivates. The ambiguity - and often painful miscommunications that result from it - come less from "relationship/situationship" and more from the distinction between performance and the raw emotion it draws from.

In an early comedic moment, the latter dynamic is illustrated when Hime's cafe senpai Sumika Tachibana (an aloof, bookwise character on duty and a somewhat meddling gyaru off duty) and Mitsuki Ayanokouji (a caring, big sister character on duty and a curt, socially distant person off duty) argue in character over how to best handle a floor situation where Hime is struggling. Hime and her friend Kanoko Amamiya (a painfully shy girl with a secret crush on Hime) misinterpret this argument as a genuine romantic argument, and Kanoko uses the opportunity to flirt in character under the guide of expressing support for Hime's ability to do the job. Hime then reads Kanoko's intervention as a purely professional step. Nothing the characters are attempting to communicate gets through, because no one is certain on which side of kayfabe the communication is being made from.

Later chapters begin to tackle darker subject matter, exploring how the job both creates and exacerbates insecurity, conflict, and unhealthy relationship dynamics among the staff. As this tonal shift occurs, Miman writes a fantastic (sometimes horrifying) series of character sketches. Each of the story arcs these sketches support dig deeper into the relationship dynamics and shapes that are commonly adopted in modern yuri, illustrating just how toxic and ingrown the relationships produced by these story patterns can get.

Miman is not afraid to take the story into fraught territory - WataYuri covers a range of subject matter from childhood bullying, coming to terms with acearo feelings, internalized homophobia, and sexual assault - but they handle these matters delicately and sympathetically. These events ultimately highlight the strengths of the working relationships at Cafe Liebe - for as much hurt as the job is capable of generating, the staff's knowledge and personal relationships with one another equip them with the tools and resilience they need to begin resolving these issues as they come up.

Despite taking on the trappings of a shallow workplace dramedy, WataYuri delivers a wickedly sharp exploration of the roles we assign ourselves when building and maintaining our relationships. As it builds off of its consistently great character moments, it argues that our own self-enforcement of those roles is ultimately harmful when using those roles to soften or shield ourselves from the possibility of hurt that comes from expressing our true feelings. At best, it prevents us from finding genuine connection; at worst, it prevents us from moving on while our emotions turn poisonous.

[alittlebitofloveliness]

To cope cause this week has not been a vibe, which outsiders character could you picture going through something like this?

I remember when I was really little I use to love wearing dresses and anything pink and girly. I loved to feel like a princess, but then I got a bit older and suddenly being girly was seen as silly and like weak?

The girls around me dressed more tomboyish and some of my friends closer to me would hang out with boys more and play sports. I didn't mind that of course but I felt out of place. Because it became VERY clear to me that a lot of people view being overly girly as weak or silly.

I think I internalized this HEAVILY because at a certain point I hated wearing dresses or anything overly girly. I stuck with alot of t-shirt and jeans after that and tried to act more boyish. Which backfired because then the boys thought I was weird and looked too much like a boy. And now I'm…I’m trying to get wear dresses and skirts again. But l'm scared that I separated myself from being girly and feminine to the point that I don’t know how to act like a girl again. Which kind of makes me sad, because I’m just reminded of that ten year old girl that I was who loved being girly, and wanted to look like a Disney princess.

Oh anon I wanna give you the absolute biggest big sister bear hug right now, you have no idea. I feel like this is something every little girl goes through to a point? I definitely did, I spent my whole childhood loving beatiful sparkly things, and all of middle school trying to prove I didn't. I think its part of the 'I'm not silly/shallow/foolish like other girls please take me seriously as a human' internalized misogyny thing that just about every girl goes through at some point, but it really sucks because obviously theres nothing wrong with liking feminine things and liking feminine things does not prevent women from being intelligent, full human beings deserving of respect, but shit the patriarchy goes hard and so many women have this phase. I'm so grateful that I worked to kind of unlearn that as best I could in high school because I really do love wearing dresses and doing my makeup and all my sparkly things and I was unhappy when I felt like i couldn't. Anyway, this is just a really long winded way of saying i totally understand where this is coming from, and also that being girly and liking stereotypically feminine things is not what MAKES someone a girl, and you're not failing at being one if you genuinely don't like dresses and makeup, but if you DO and you're struggling to embrace wearing them again (which it sounds like you are) that that's okay too because in time it will feel natural again, and you'll feel pretty and live your best disney princess dreams. (also if you ever need someone to hype you up or want makeup tips or anything I'm totally here for you! i ADORE fashion and playing with different styles and I have PERFECTED the bold red lip to the point its something I'm kind of known for on my uni campus, and basically I think i can help you learn to be excited about girly things again if you want to be).

ANYWAY, now i'm done yapping about that I can talk about which outsiders characters I think would struggle with this and (while I might get hate for it) I think SANDY definitely went through this phase. I see her as a character who has always felt powerless so she resorts to trying to take any power she could. As a lower class woman in the sixties, that would be hard for her to come by, so I think she'd try to reject femininity and all that womanhood entails for a while. Maybe her dad always treated her brothers better than he treated her so she always wanted to be more like them, or maybe when she struggled to make friends with the girls at school she turned to acting/dressing tomboyish to try and make friends with the boys.

Another one I could see with this same issue would be Susie Mathews. I think with a brother like Two-bit, who she loves but also sees and hears joking about and objectifying women, Susie would want to be nothing like the 'dumb blondes' her older brother is known for pursuing. I could also see her mother making comments here and there about the young women at the bar she works at so Susie might have also internalized that slut shaming mentality and dressed in more boyish attire so she wouldn't be seen as 'one of those girls'

Hope this was helpful and at least semi coherent I am running on very little sleep.

Thanks for the ask xx

[angelflungoutofspace]

abbott elementary season 3 ep 1 & 2 REVEIWWWWW

idk why but I thought y'all might wanna hear what I thought about the season premierrrrrr!!!! it was so good and so chaotic. so many things going on at once.

when Janine walked out and revealed as district, I HAD A HEART ATTACK. but then the context helped. im just a little confused because didn't the Manny the district guy say Janine could go back into her class 1-2 days out of the week to teach?? or was it just to go around about hearing feedback?? it was so sad to see Janine's kids not caring about her presence and the super mean substitute. But, that one little boy, Alex, made my heart just warm!!!! It just reminded Janine why she's doing what she's doing!!!

omg and Janine and Gregory?? the way Janine HAD THE CONFIDENCE to go talk to Gregory about her feelings at the beginning of the school year??? like where did that bravery come out of, and she handled the rejection so well. like honey. I would have DIED. but also.... the way Gregory just... moved on???? well, I get why. bro has to protect himself, but like come on greggy boy, don't tell me YOU DONT just feel a little of love for Janine???? but I love the way writers handled it at the end. they didn't leave the awkwardness for the season and that is something I APPRECIATE. and at least we know that Gregory and Janine still want to be friends and still miss each other platonically.

am I being paranoid for being scared of Manny the district guy???? Like my boy Jacob had a point. Manny WAS giving me some crush vibes and it doesn't help how nice and genuine he is. LIKE IM LITERALLY FALLING FOR HIM. and his mom was a teacher??? I would love to see him more, but just not as another pawn in Janine and Gregory's relationship. but, I knowwwww better. and my girl QUINTAAAA will make us wait.

I think Janine is getting really confortable and friendly with the district crew and it's kind of scary me because if she gets TOO comfortable, she won't want to leave. I think when the fellowship ends, they'll offer her a permanent spot on the team and she'll want to take it but still teach at abbott.

Barbara was so cute this episode, with her makeup. and with how honest she was to the district. as some who works at a high school and has been dealing with a particularly horrible district and administration, Barbaras words hit too close to home. but she realized that the whole district team is essentially just 4 Janines with the power and position to make things happen. and I think she's really opening up to relying on the district more.

omg my girl Melissa. honey., I was so scared every time Gary made a marriage joke. and when he proposed I HAD A HEART ATTACK AND FOR A SPLIT SECOND I THOUGHT MELISSA WAS GONNA SAY YES and the rest of the season would be wedding planning. but as embarrassing and heartbreaking as it was for Melissa, she stayed true to herself and was mature to end the relationship. and my girl just crying made me cryyyyy omg. she looks so sad even though she was the one to break up with Gary, AND I KNOWWWWWW SHE'LL STILL BE HEALING. I don't think this is the last well see of Gary since he goes to the school every Thursday, but I think it'll be the end of their relationship permanently. but now that Melissa knows fs was wants to date and knows she doesn't wanna get married, I think she's gonna be in her exploration phase. HOEEEEE PHASSEEEE. god please send Melissa a gay awakening PLEASEEEEE. she needs a rebound and no better rebound than a woman. that would be so fun and so true to her.

but yeah thats all I think so far. and it was a great epsidose and a great start to an already unpredictable season!!!

[inflatingnblue]

worried anon here again, but off anon this time bc fuck it, and also if we can’t be open about shit on our kink blogs, where can we??? 💜

I’ve felt and seen how seductive an ED can be; besides my own history of disordered eating and dysmorphia, the love of my life struggles with pretty serious anorexia, and it kills me to watch her be drawn back in again and again by this terrible thing that our culture only perpetuates, even now that she’s years into recovery. When she was at her worst, when she had almost convinced herself that the ED was “working,” she was so miserable and exhausted and listless and angry all the time, and she still hated her body to the point of suicidality. The weight she lost didn’t fix any of it, but it did make her incredibly hard to be around and made her life feel so small that she didn’t want to live it anymore. It makes me sick that the world we live in would rather we hurt and hate ourselves over and over again, systematically denying ourselves the nutrients we need to live, in order to make us think we’re doing right by our bodies and that people will think we’re beautiful. I’m sure you’ve heard all this kind of thing before, just as my fiancée has, from therapists and partners and friends and family and doctors, but I know from my experience that it’s easier to actually start to hear it when you’re not also exposing yourself to pro-ED voices. When I was in high school and at my most mentally ill, I had a whole secret blog where I posted and reblogged self-harm content, so I genuinely do get how that can make you feel less alone. When you’re at your lowest, the most important thing is to not isolate yourself, even if that means you’re in some darker online spaces. Obviously you can and should like whatever posts you want on here, and me and your other followers can easily protect ourselves by blocking pro-ana tags — I guess I just wanted you to know that someone who doesn’t even know you is genuinely worried about you, and hates to see you unable to see how beautiful and valuable you are.

I get the relapsing stuff too; I hadn’t restricted in almost 10 years, but then last December I went through some major life/career/medication changes and gained like 30 lbs in a couple of months, and all the ED and SH voices came right back. The best things I’ve done for myself since then are the simple ones: 1) remind myself that if it was my fiancée feeling this way I would be endlessly telling her how beautiful she is, 2) try to remember that gaining weight isn’t a moral or health failure and is actually a natural part of getting older, and 3) buy myself some cute new underwear and comfy new pants so I didn’t feel horrible every time I tried to get dressed for the day. It’s taken months, and in the mean time I got a new job, this weird old kink of mine resurfaced (possibly as a coping mechanism? idk man, the human brain is wild), and I yanked myself back into a healthier relationship with food and mirrors, but it was and continues to be fucking HARD.

Long story not-so-short, I am really proud of you for making it this far. I am proud of you for being here, and I am proud of every time you push back against those voices, alluring as they might be. Recovery is the toughest, weirdest thing, but it is so worth it. I hope your husband is loving on you lots, I hope you had a wonderful Halloween looking adorable in your Violet costume, and I hope you’ll reach out if you ever need someone to talk to. I’m leaving this as an ask bc I don’t wanna risk making you feel uncomfortable, but feel free to DM me instead of posting/answering it publicly if you’d rather.

💜💜💜

Hello Not So Anon Anymore,

I appreciate you reaching out again and for sharing some of your and your fiancee's stories. One thing I find helpful is hearing about other people's experiences, even if it's not ED related. Hearing how someone has fought and struggled and conquered is good inspiration that maybe not all is lost.

To be honest, I was taken aback by your first ask. When I started reading I was like this person is leaving a compliment, which took a left turn. Not a bad left turn, just an unexpected one. It made me face what I had been doing and it was a good example of how personal struggles don't only affect you.

Oof, I totally understand that crankiness and feeling irritated. I've snapped at people when not meaning to. When you've got a constant stream of thoughts bombarding you it can be easy to lose it, not that it's okay to do so.

Like you said isolation is no bueno. Thinking about my relapse, I did isolate. I'd think maybe I can reach out to a friend, but then I'd stop myself. They've got a lot going on and it always seems like something is wrong when I connect with them, how annoying of me, what a burden. I noticed that no one reached out to me. Not that I was expecting anyone to reach out, but usually friendships go both ways. Both people contact each other and no one did. My ED was like "see, they don't even like you." And that only made the isolation worse.

I also didn't talk to my husband because he had a lot going on and I didn't want to him to try to impede my "progress." Of course I finally told him after several months. He was upset because I wasn't talking to anyone about it, and I don't blame him for feeling that way. Who wouldn't want their significant other to be healthy?

The interesting thing is I was big and I was experiencing symptoms that someone would assume an underweight person faced. I was lightheaded a lot. There were times I wasn't near anything to hold on to so I would crouch to the floor. (I even had a dream of it happening out in public. Tried to will myself to keep walking, but eventually crouched down because I didn't want to fall.) I've never been that lightheaded ever, but I didn't lose much weight when I was younger which is why I never experienced that before. I was scared that my symptoms were increasing in frequency, but at the same time it was a sign that it was "working." I eventually fainted one night. I've never fainted and it was so scary. I didn't even know I had fainted when I first woke up. I literally thought I had somehow fallen out of bed. My memory came back quickly and I couldn't believe I had fainted. Me, overweight, had fainted? I always associated that with those who were underweight, who were actually sick, who actually looked the part of an anorexic. But something that the general population don't seem understand is that it doesn't matter your weight or size - EDs don't discriminate. Starving is starving, regardless of size the body needs energy and when you deplete it the body will respond like a car without gas. It will breakdown.

Also, I totally agree that paying more attention to the bloating and such is a coping mechanism. In a way I think I'm trying to beat "it" first. Like making fun of myself first before someone else can. Making myself big before recovery or my lipedema can. I wish this wasn't such a mind fuck.

I really appreciate your kind words of encouragement. Being vulnerable is challenging and it's brave you decided to not be Anon this time. And same - reach out to talk, even if you'd like to unpack what's going on with your fiancee. I really hope everything works out for you both. 💙

Thanks again.

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

I thought you might want to check out a video by Nerdrotic on YouTube, Loki Humiliated Yet Again. It's just 8 minutes long, and they go over the pie eating scene in season 2 Ep. 2, and how Loki used to be badass and a formidable presence, and how pitiful and diluted he has become. They also make a good point by pointing out that this is still supposed to be Avengers Loki who just carried out the NY invasion a few days ago? And how he is so nonchalant and blase about it, there's no weight or gravitas to what he's saying. They also bring up another good point that this is proof yet again that the writers and the MCU no longer care about the previous movies or these characters, or the fans of them. They're using these shows to completely trash what came before.

I know you're not watching season 2 (I'm not either), but it's little comforting to know that there are people out there beyond tumblr and fandom that understand how we feel. Thank you!

You're welcome, dear! Video for the lazy:

What can I say, I agree with them. That scene of the shadows kind of reminded me of President Loki in S1. I had been so disappointed during the season, looking at TVA Loki and wondering "who the hell is this guy?", and I vividly remember seeing President for the first time and thinking "OMG That's Loki, there he is!". Like, I genuinely thought the variant we had been seeing was a different Loki and the President was IW Loki, I even expected them to confirm him as such... but they never did, of course.

I don't mind him sitting down and (not) eating pie, it's his way of speech and what he's saying. I have no interest in seeing anything right now that openly laughs and mocks what came before. If we're watching the MCU now is only because we liked what came before and it attracted us enough to come for more. The last thing we want is for these new writers to mock the previous phases, this lack of sincerity is exhausting.

For us, seeing Loki throw Stark off the window is funny? Hell yeah, it is. And Stark's comments were hilarious too. But in-universe is NOT the same. Loki would not and should not be talking about it that way. Where's the guilt if he's truly remorseful? Where's the shame that he failed the invasion? And, this is crucial, he saw in the Time Theatre that that failure meant his death at the hands of Thanos. Why, if in S1E1 he openly laughed at his "glorious purpose" after seeing the scene of his death, is he now talking about the NYC invasion like "yeah well, whatever, I threw Stark off the window, what a time that was". WTF?!

Can you imagine TDW Loki talking about the invasion like that? The scene he has with Odin at the beginning of that movie (that I swear is my favourite Loki moment in the MCU, I like it even more than the relic scene in Thor1) and Loki looking at Odin and speaking this way "Yeah dude, I totally threw him off the window".

I get the feeling there's a misplaced belief in current Marvel (except for James Gunn, bless his soul) that something humorous has to be superficial, edgy and/or as sassy as possible. And I'm blaming the hell out of Ragnarok for that.

That scene (that I hadn't seen until now, holy shit, who is that guy? I don't see Loki there at all) has the feel of a teenager at high school talking to a friend about a TikTok video. He had been mindfucked by Thanos, that alone would mean talking about it would mess with him greatly, especially when Loki always had an issue with the loss of control of his own body (taken by Odin, had his physiology changed against his will, Thanos messing with his head, later imprisoned).

Ugh, I hate it. I miss TDW Loki. And I miss TDW Thor. I just miss the TDW so much.

[eldritchsurveys]

1238.

What type of milk do you like to drink? >> I don't drink any kind of milk by itself.

Do you have a first aid kit at home? >> I do not. It's one of those "if we had more disposable income we'd have one, but as it stands it's low on the list of priorities when so many other immediate needs require meeting" sort of things. I guess if either of us got injured more often it'd be a higher priority.

What’s the absolute bare minimum in terms of facilities when you’re camping? >> Food and something to protect me from the elements and bare ground.

How many places have you lived in your life? >> Five different states and countless different specific locations.

Are your parents dog or cat people? Is that different or the same as you? .

What’s your favourite flavour of potato chip? >> Basic kettle-cooked salt and pepper. Zapp's Voodoo chips if I want more flavour.

What’s the longest your hair has ever been? How long is it now? .

What video games remind you of your childhood? >> Just the classic nineties-era computer games that you found in every computer lab in school, like Oregon Trail, and various Bröderbund games I had for my own computer. No actual video games because I didn't have access to those.

What does your body wash or soap smell like? >> It's the Dove Beauty Bar, which just smells like... soap, I guess. The quintessential soap smell.

Are there are sounds that bother you on a visceral level? >> So, so many. I genuinely don't know how I'm going to keep living on this planet sometimes.

What was the last thing you bought online? >> FFXIV: Dawntrail, back when that was about to drop.

Name something you always have in your fridge. >> Various condiments.

Have you ever had to hire a lawyer? Why? >> The closest I've come is getting an advocate from one of those urban justice orgs for my SSI application process.

Have you taken a walk today? Did you see any dogs? >> I have not. The humidity has worn me down, I can't get motivated to take my morning walks these days because I just obsess about how sticky I'm going to be the whole time. Also, sunrise is now 07:00 and that's so late, people are so active at that point, it's not like the beautifully quiet dawns of midsummer :/

What vegetable do you really hate? >> I honestly can't say I hate any vegetables. There are some I'm far less likely to eat, but none that I flat-out can't stand.

Does your family have any traditions or rituals? .

If you could learn any language, what would it be? >> Well, I can learn any language, at least passably if not fluently. Right now, I'm working on Irish.

What was the best thing that happened today? Something that seems minor can still be awesome. >> I was finally finishing my Person of Interest rewatch now that my loins are girded enough to handle that sort of emotional damage, and I got so much lightning-flash inspiration for merging that universe with my Saints Row one. I love that feeling, it's like... being full of electricity, being plugged in, connected to the fabric of reality. Seeing how the threads intertwine, and how they can be made to weave new stories. !! What a thrill. Have you ever donated money to a charity? Which one? >> As a person who is known for Having No Money, I have not. I am, in fact, a charity case.

Did you have a large circle of friends in high school? >> I had no circle of friends in high school. There were about two or three kids tops in each school that would put up with me.

Would you ever get a matching tattoo with someone? >> I have matching X-Files tattoos with Sparrow, and I'd do it again. The trick is to make it a tattoo similar to something you'd get independently anyway -- I had already had the "scully, it's me" tattoo idea and when I was planning to get it, they were like "hey what if we matched", and I was fine with that.

What time do you usually go to sleep? >> I go to bed at 22:00 and I stop using my phone at 23:00 (the last part tends to vary, but that's where I'm at right now). When I go to sleep, however, is not something I can control.

Do you have a job? >> I do not.

What colour are the plates in your kitchen? >> We don't have a matching set. We mostly use paper plates, anyway. Well, I do, certainly.

What was the last gift you received? >> The stuff I got for Christmas -- the earbuds and the pillow and weighted blanket.

What is your Chinese zodiac animal? >> Rabbit, I think. Are you inside right now? If you’re home, what room of the house are you in? >> I'm in my bedroom, as usual.

Are you good at remembering faces? >> Good enough, I guess. I do have a hard time trying to place where I've seen certain actors and stuff, but I guess that's normal especially if you watch a lot of shit like I do. What will you do after this survey? >> I might poke around on tumblr. I don't know, I feel like I did a bunch of stuff I wanted to do already so now I'm like "now what :V"

[lilyfreshwater]

hiii i noticed in one of your posts you mentioned that you were premed and i wanted to ask you for some advice!! im an incoming premed freshman (majoring in biochem but im debating on switching to neuro) and im kinda nervous lol. do you have any tips on how to stay on top of things and balance classes with clinical work and research? thank u <3

omg omg omg IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY ok so i have a ton of advice but i'll try to be brief

1) im putting this paragraph first because this is the most important advice i can give you. like seriously if you listen to nothing else listen to this:

you can't know everything

this isn't high school where you just have to memorize where the 50 states are on a map. this is college where you have to know the entire krebs cycle after it's only been explained once and that's like only 10% of the info on the exam. so the best thing you can do for yourself is accept when you've hit a plateau and move onto something else. for example, say you've got a bio exam and a psych exam coming up. it takes you 20 hours of genuine study time to master 93% of the the material in bio. it would take another 20 for you to get to 95%. but with that other 20 hours, you could master 96% of the material for psych. your brain wants to say "well i'll just spend 60 hours studying then" but believe me i know from experience that you can't do that without serious harm to you mental and physical health. it's so so SO much better to study the 40 hours and accept a 93 on bio and a 96 in psych. and then you can use the extra 20 to get more sleep, hang out with friends, volunteer, work in a research lab, or he'll study for another subject. you will love college and being a premed so much more if you do that

2) im a neuro major so ur an anon after my own heart. idk what the major is like at ur school but at mine it's really flexible and has a lot of cool opportunities attached to it so i would definitely reccomend it. the cool thing is tho you're just starting out so, provided you don't have to swap to a different school (engineering, arts and sciences, etc.), then you can definitely take time to figure out what you want. i came into college wanting to do neuro and bio double, switched to a single major in a completely different area, and then added on a neuro major recently so the most important thing at this point is to keep your options open

3) time management depends a lot on the school you attend. i attend a fairly good university, so i spend a shit ton of time studying and don't have as much time left over for volunteering/research. luckily med schools generally account for that stuff, so just keep that in mind if you're getting a little bit of imposter syndrome. anyway, the best advice i can give you right now is to just get involved. don't assume that because you're a freshman that people won't value your input or enthusiasm

4) organization is your best friend. i use an app/website called "my study life" to track my homework and classes and have found it to be super helpful, but there are tons of other homework apps out there. it's also worth having an up to date calendar for any non-curricular things you need to keep track of, like volunteering. i just use the reminders app and make sure it's synced across my devices. you can't manage your time if you don't know what assignments you have to do or what you have scheduled that day

5) keep your priorities straight. what matters most to you will change from month to month, so making sure you're confident in what you're prioritizing and why is huge. for example, say you have finals in 4 weeks. if you want to start studying 2 weeks prior to your exams, put in extra effort and time with your research/volunteering in the 2 weeks prior to that and make sure your supervisors/primary investigators know that you won't be able to dedicate as much time during finals. you should still keep up with your responsibilities, but you need to dedicate the majority of your energy to finals because unfortunately grades do matter here.

6) it's ok to take breaks, it's ok to take a lighter semester, it's ok to hang out with friends, and it's ok to fuck up. everyone has to figure this shit out and there will be lots of things that look like failures but are actually blessings in disguise. for example: i got a C+ in gen chen and a B in bio my freshman year. some people would have retaken the class but i kept going, and in the process i learned a lot about myself and my study habits. i also learned that the purpose of weed out classes isn't to sort out the students who don't do well in classes, it's to sort out the people who will stop after failure. so i took that C+, new study habits, and new perspectives with me through my other tough science classes during my next two years and turned my grades around. now what started as a "death sentence" for most pre meds is an awesome cinderella story of perseverance that i can reflect on during my application cycle (all of those skills will also help me in med school too!)

i hope this was helpful and if you want anymore advice my inbox/dms are always open!

[ecargmura]

Whisper Me A Love Song Episode 3 Review - What Is Romantic Love?

While this episode is cute as heck, the power point transition slides are sort of killing the vibes. Like, I get it, it’s a new scene; there’s no need to splatter the transitions every time. Despite this, it was a nice insight episode on Himari as a person.

Himari never felt love before. Whenever she says love, it’s platonic in a sense. She once lost a friend in middle school because her friend told her she had a crush on this boy but when Himari said that she liked him too, albeit platonic, the misunderstanding caused her friend to move to another group of friends. Wow, what a b*tch. I get it, though. Middle schoolers are mean as heck. Heck, I’ve encountered my fair share when I was at that age. I even lost some friends too. Himari might be weird for not being able to interpret love the same way others can, but everyone’s different. Given her thoughts, she could be aromantic, but I’m not an expert on these types of things.

The way Himari takes her time to gather her thoughts in order to give Yori a profound answer reminds me of Sasaki and Miyano where Sasaki confesses to Miyano, but the latter requests that he wants the former to wait until he gives him an answer. Since Miyano did fall for Sasaki genuinely later on, I’m sure the same will apply for Himari when it comes to Yori.

However, I’m glad that Yori’s not upset by her answer. Instead, she’s going to work hard to make Himari fall for her genuinely. Yori making an attempt to do so by joining the band was actually nice. She was always a bit back and forth on her music, so to join the band fully just to make Himari fall for her because she knows her crush likes her voice is pure girl boss move. She wants her girl and she will work for it. Go, Yori!

The side characters play a nice role. Miki tries to help Himari what sort of stuff people do when they fall in love. Ultimately, it’s Himari’s mother who helps Himari understand and give an answer. Her mother dated her father during their third year of high school, but her father kept pursuing her since they were first years. When they went out on a date, she realized she did love him and that’s how they got married. I do wonder if Himari’s father will ever make an appearance. There’s also mention of a character named Shiho, so I wonder if this Shiho person will make an appearance later on. Speaking of Himari’s mother, she is voiced by Natsumi Takamori, who voiced Kome-Kome in Delicious Party Precure! That’s so surprising!

I do hope that the powerpoint transitions lessen next episode and that there will be more singing. I wonder what sort of stuff Yori will do with the band in order for her to get Himari’s attention. I’ll be waiting next week.

[away-ward]

Ranty text block: Another scene i remembered from rereading corrupt and punk57: ryen describing rika's clothes at their condo building(?) that led to me thinking, "why do people always put rika edits in the best, sexiest and prettiest clothes? Because as much as this girl was said to be "pretty", her fashion style was ugly as a rat, like shitty af. She always looks like a 33 years old extremely rich suburban mom who got no taste in fashion and wore dull ass colours but still everything is designer thing" Like that was my first thought every time i saw Rika edits, and how i remember her in books. I almost confuse her with em's high school no-choice aesthetic because of how bad pd tried to make rika look "not other rich girls" by not dressing up much and kept on going with the narrative of "oh alex looks hot, but me (rika)? Ew" 🙄 im sick of stories like this because it reminds me of Rubi (a telenovela) where Rubi's hot rich girl friend kept on complaining about her looks, and was jealous of rubi (similar to alex's style here) when that girl friend can literally hire someone to style her, or build up her confidence and wear something even sexier or hotter than rubi (alex) because they got all the money that rubi (alex) never had. But nooooooo they had to wear ugly ass outfits 😭 i hate it here. Aside from that, i can totally see Winter and Banks rocking hot and pretty designer wears, because all thats left for winter was for someone to doll her up and banks to feel safe in her feminity and trying out more quality clothings, but Rika??? That girl really needs some personal stylist because why was she be making so much money and still be dressing like that? 😭 i genuinely hate it!!! This is a rich people story, why was she looking raggedy?? She could literally be cute and hot with her style, but noooo her outfits always gotta be ratty af, even elon musk has got more style than her and it's saying something because elon's outfits WERE.NOT.IT. I cant imagine how yikes rika looks every time she wore outfits that dont match her luxurious cars (especially before she met alex, and sometimes, even after, case in point, that punk57 scene), and readers supposed to look at rika and be like "wow, fashionista!" when she never really gave us anything to fawn over for?!! Her fashion is as dull as her personality, and she had no valid excuses for it because all her life, she was always sureounded by beauty and luxury. Emmy had excuses bcause of her lacking money & at home situation etc., but rika? It couldnt happen Only for two reasons being one, she didnt want to be called a slut or looked down by her society, or two, because trevor that scum kept on harrassing her on what she should do, and because she was a pushover, it was har to not push him away, BUT! BUT! but even then, there's so many hot, cute, pretty or beautiful modest fashion??? Modest fashion is one of THE most popular style for rich people because they associate modesty = being classy, so i still dont understand why rika was raggedy. Idk this really irks me. I'll let you know if i have more irk-inducing things from DN. Though i don't think i have the energy to shit on killswitch because that book was exhausting 😭 damon torrance was exhausting, i pray for winter, every five seconds to get away from him.

Out of all the character’s, Rika’s style has struck me as the oddest. I can only recall two specific moments that made me question things.

One was when she was getting ready for school and she wore like boots, a sweater, and a scarf. Which, knowing it’s October and is probably a bit chilly, isn’t all that odd but I felt weird to layout her outfit like that.

The other was in Hideaway when she shows up for the sleepover and she’s wearing an avocado shirt and matching shorts, while everyone else was in sexy wear. It felt very “I’m main character/not like other girls” energy. And Michael comments that his mom bought those for her and he can’t believe she still has them, like it’s so cute. I couldn’t shake the idea that PD saw these PJs in rl and thought they were cute, so immediately wanted to put Rika in them because Rika’s soooo quirky like that.

I tend to let it go a bit in Corrupt, because I thought some of Rika’s storyline and character development was getting away from people that controlled her.

Her fashion style was ugly as a rat, like shitty af. She always looks like a 33 years old extremely rich suburban mom who got no taste in fashion

Remember in the first scene when she’s racing back to the Crists’ and Michael’s mom as laid out a white dress for her to wear. Rika isn’t that excited for it?

It feels like Rika dresses like a 33-year-old woman with no taste because she’s being dressed by a woman in her 40s who thinks this is what a young lady of a respectable class who is going to marry her son would wear. And Rika specifically indicates that it’s not her style as a 19-year-old who wants her independence. So, I can let it go.

Meeting Alex, who is the same age as her, was probably an eye opener for how someone who decides how they present themselves could dress. It is no excuse for the rest of the series, but like I said, I never paid attention to Rika’s style. I never saw her as a “fashionista” and in fact, if any of the characters were, I’d say it was Alex.

Rika could have afforded a personal shopper or a stylist, but I think after breaking away from the Crists’ control and Michael wanting whatever she wanted, it meant she dressed however she wanted without thinking “is this fashionable?” Which is fine. I don’t really care, and I don’t have a fashionable bone in my body. I can’t expect rich people to have it just because they have money, and I wouldn’t expect all people in their 20s to care. Fashion and being stylish is such a person-to-person thing, so I guess it never really mattered to me.

It couldnt happen Only for two reasons being one, she didnt want to be called a slut or looked down by her society, or two, because trevor that scum kept on harrassing her on what she should do, and because she was a pushover, it was har to not push him away,

The slut shaming and Trevor were most definitely factors in how Rika dressed in her teenage years. Probably past down from Trevor’s mom, like I said before, the idea of this is how a young lady dresses.

So maybe like with Em, the rejection of clean, modest style to a slouchier style was a way of rebellion for Rika? I don’t know.

Thanks for the rant. It was fun to read about something that I didn’t notice. Since we’ve been talking about style recently (or me and other anons), maybe it’ll be fun to go through and explain how I do picture the girl’s style like how I did with Em. You guys can offer your thoughts and HCs as well! Maybe we’ll come to a consensus.