#it genuinely makes me sad how at least here on tumblr he seems to be hated by Everyone

[lyxchen]

I might get some (unreasonable) hate for this and I will block people who are gonna be shitty but I have to say I really like Noah from Smosh. Like he's cool, he's funny, I really enjoy him in videos and tbh most if not all of the reasons I've seen from people about why he sucks is just pure antisemitism. Noah is great!!!

[steviewashere]

I love you guys, so for WIP Wednesday, you get the first two and a half pages of my unnamed, but currently named "Steve Makes Eddie Apologize to Lucas for Not Postponing Hellfire for the Championship Game" fic. Uh, I don't think there's any warnings, but here we go.

You can read it here on Tumblr

Or you can read it here on AO3

——— “So, you and Eddie, huh?”

Steve startles at the sound of a voice, deep and hushed, from where he's been waiting in Hawkins High’s parking lot. Hellfire was supposed to be out by now—6:50pm if his watch is correct—it’s their first time back since March and it would be cordial. But it seems that only Lucas got that memo.

“Jesus Christ, Sinclair!” He yelps. Holds his right palm flat against his chest, trying his best to rescind the spike of panic that is crawling through him. “I thought I told you to quit doing that,” he harshly whispers, rubbing his palm against his shirt. The scratchy material of his polo a balm against his nerves.

“Sorry,” Lucas sheepishly murmurs. Speaking at a normal volume, he asks again, “So, you and Eddie?”

He rolls his eyes. “What about me and Eddie? Can’t I just hang out with the guy without being pestered?”

Lucas shrugs. “You can do whatever you want,” he states, but Steve can already tell there’s somehow more. “But I didn’t think you two would be…buddies. Considering how he feels about, y’know, sports and whatever.”

For a moment, Steve considers Lucas’s approach. His fidgeting hands and his slightly closed off eyes. The hunch to his shoulders and the general unease that accompanies talking about Eddie. Which, that’s particularly odd. Aren’t they buddies, Steve questions himself. Wrapped up in the Hellfire club, their mutual interest in Dungeons & Dragons, the ragtag group of nerds that they are—all of that is perfect for their oddball friendship, at least Steve thought so.

“What’s wrong with you and Eddie?” Steve asks, beating around the bush. He doesn’t do cryptic. And he especially doesn’t do it with somebody like Lucas, a kid already smarter than him by several margins.

There isn’t an answer right away. But Lucas’s shoulders drop. His eyes go from frustrated to…sad. “Remember my championship game?” He asks, though it seems a bit much of a topic change. What does this have to do with Eddie, Steve has to wonder.

“Well, yeah,” he answers instead, “I was there. Had a pathetic date with a girl I hardly enjoyed being around. Mocked Tammy Thompson with Robin. Watched you get that winning shot. It was a, genuinely, awesome championship game.” And that’s the truth. It’s the best one he’s ever witnessed. Which is saying something, considering he’d played several championship games. All of them, though, were major losses. He’ll take those to the grave with him, with how often his previous basketball teams teased him.

Lucas gives a harsh single nod, a small smile that whisks away as soon as it appears. “Right,” he mutters, “I remember.” He leans against the Beemer’s bumper, shoulder brushing with Steve’s. Looks forlorn towards the high school’s doors, where Eddie and the rest of the Hellfire bunch should be spilling out any moment now. Steve looks on with him. Listens as Lucas’s voice drops low, nearly angry, fully spiteful, “I begged Dustin and Mike to talk to Eddie about my game. To see if the Hellfire campaign—which would be happening the same night—could be moved. And I, look, I understand that D&D means a lot to all of them, it means something to me, too. But I was really hoping to see my friends there. If not my friends, then at least Erica.

“They didn’t move the campaign,” he states so bitter, Steve tastes the words on his own tongue, “apparently a game where you’re shooting ‘balls into laundry baskets’ is too…mainstream and norm-ie for Eddie. He refused to move his precious game. Then, get this, instead of getting some random kid to play, they egged Erica in.” Lucas drags his eyes away from the school, head turning slow to look at Steve. He follows suit, eyeing Lucas back. His stomach churns with the vitriol painting itself unsubtly across Lucas’s face. “Color me surprised, I guess, that he’s going out with a jock,” he states, voice carefully blank of anything.

Steve stares on at him. He didn’t know this was the case at all. Remembers getting the phone call about Dustin wanting him to play, but he figured that had something to do with him bugging Steve for the millionth time. Because that was something Dustin wanted. For Steve to play. And, granted, Steve refused because it was too nerdy—unimportant and embarrassing. Yet, now he’s looking into Lucas’s face. Where hurt etches itself like solid lines of chiseled marble. Being told, instead, that Eddie’s holding his own bias.

Maybe he hasn’t removed his biases towards high school nerds, not completely. But he’s coming undone from that mentality. Considering Nancy and Robin and Eddie—Dustin and Mike and Lucas—even Max, they’re all big nerds. They all have some sort of interest with Dungeons & Dragons or theater or video games and math. And he loves them all. Though, Steve’s never stopped to think about the opposite side of the coin. Tail-side, where balls in laundry baskets is considered taboo.

After a deep silence when Steve finally digests this information, his eyebrows furrow on their own accord. Mouth downturning into a harsh frown, one that he feels to the bottoms of his feet. He stops himself in time from balling his hands into fists, but the urge to do so snarls in him like a newly unmuzzled, wild dog. A dog, he thought, that he trained obedient away from his anger. But it seems like once the teeth are bared, they never truly hide away.

“That ass,” Steve snarks. “What—so I have to reconsider all my biases surrounding nerds, reconstruct how I view everybody around me, and realize how awesome it is. And—what—Eddie can just get away with that…bullshit? That’s…What the hell?” There’s a little bit more of a bite to his words than he had anticipated. But it really isn’t fair. The table turns and he’s better for it, sure, but Eddie just…That’s not fair. The dog growls louder, drool burbling in its chops, a bark forming in the back of its throat.

———

[dr4kenlvr]

shameless

feat. hanma shuji x fem!reader - fluff (9.2k)

—where the reader can't help herself from meeting hanma at the same place and time. but hanma can't help himself, either.

nana's note: coming back every 3 months with a hanma piece has gotta be the wackest thing anyone's on tumblr ever done. but this one is nearly 1k??? oh my god. much love and i appreciate you all so much. warning. some minor descriptions of injury

you try to shake off the look on your friends' faces when you told them you wouldn't be joining them for late night rides and snacks. "but you said that last week!" they whined, brows furrowed and arms crossed. you waved them off with a genuine smile, genuine enough to deceive the bunch that you were headed home.

but home didn't look like the alleyway you stand in, brick walls cold yet decorated with countless graffiti. your eyes trace the wild lines of colour, working themselves in harmony as they intersect. numerous bold words you couldn't quite make out, but one was oddly distinct.

reaper.

"hey," a smooth voice suddenly calls, "you're here."

your eyes shoot to the familiar figure at the entrance, his stature illuminated by the singular yellow light between us. you signal him to come closer, almost irritated why he's standing there for so long. a quiet part of you needs him closer.

"you're here, too," you muse, a small smirk on your face as he approaches. like always, the breath in your lungs is knocked out as he hovers over you. the gleam above us almost makes his yellow eyes glow, bright and cat-like as he grins down at you.

"you wait long?" he asks, propping a bent leg on the wall, leaning back beside you. he cranes his neck, eyes squint and focused on only you.

you shake your head, leaning your head back. "nah," your gaze traces over his face. there's a few small bandages lining his jaw, and a larger one at his cheek. his left eyes seems to be bruising slightly, too. you furrow your brows, standing straighter. "how many fights have you been in the past week?"

hanma's grin grows, and he mirrors your posture. "what, you worried about me now, darlin'?"

you stiffen. darling, or darlin' as he would say. you never knew how to feel every time those two syllables left his lips, limbs freezing but heart picking up. the same mouth that spits so much venom at others—can actually call you something so adoring?

instead of answering, you lift a hand up to grab his. your thumb strokes gently at the bruised skin, splotches of irritated skin peeking through the poorly placed bandages. you almost wished you could've been there to do it for him.

now it's hanma's turn to freeze up, but he wills himself to get over it. this isn't like him. he looks down at his palm, so much larger than yours, and at the attentive way you inspect his wounds. there's a sad pout on your lips that hanma can't help but smile at. every time the pair of you hide away like this, you never fail to notice every injury he's sustained from the last. well, at least the ones visible to the eye. he wonders how you'd react to the large bruise on his ribcage. but maybe another week.

"m'fine, darlin', the others ended up more fucked than me," he soothes. "you know i always make sure they do," his voice hums, that velvet tone of his warming your body like no one else's. your bones nearly vibrate at the way he bends lower to have a better look at your face, before deciding that doesn't work.

instead, he brings a hand beneath your chin to lift your head up. your orbs meet his, falling in a trance that feels so, so right. an awed exhale escapes your lips at the man who holds you with punishment—because you wonder why this feels like a reward. for being able to hide whatever it is the two of you have become, will become, you start to think that maybe... this is okay. that silent part that craved him so near, scream out for you to reciprocate.

you place two gentle palms on his chest, his breath hitching in response. "i know," you whisper, the words almost silent. usually, he would've taken you out on the road by now, or taken out a box of cigarettes to smoke. but your feet are glued to the ground, the world outside this alleyway forgotten as he holds you.

"you know," he repeats, barely louder than you. he thinks you know him better than anyone. he looks forward to seeing you waiting for him. his feet take him to this place, like clockwork. and he can't shake off the feeling that you are just right.

and everything feels just right when he leans in, waiting. but it's all you need, lifting your head higher to meet him half way. hanma tastes like cigarettes, like smoke invading your lungs and filling them with him, him, him. he groans softly, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. his hand trails around your neck to cup your nape, pulling you in further while his other hand rests on your waist. your hands loop around his neck, tugging him down.

the movement makes him chuckle against your lips, the sound so adorable you want to hear it over and over again. his tongue swipes your bottom lip before he parts from you, but only ever so slightly. the two of your pant softly, foreheads resting against one another.

he smiles down at you, the kind that makes you smile right back.

"let me take you out for a bit," he whispers, "properly."

maybe home didn't need to look like somewhere, you thought. maybe it was a feeling, like the warmth filling your body to the tips of your ears when you nod.

"okay," you whisper.

[genericpuff]

I caught up with LR and I love Hades freaking out over liking Persephone and trying to find reasons to stop but it makes me really sad because he's so unused to happiness and kindness that he freaks out over the first signs of both. Part of what drew me to LO at first was the journey Hades went through, going from miserable and pushing away anything that made him happy to accepting that he can be happy and it's okay. I'm glad that's showing up here as well and I can't wait to see where you take Hades' character growth.

I really love all the characters in LR. More fleshed out than LO, more accurate to the myths and character stereotypes they fall into. Hera certainly acts more like royalty, Hestia seems genuinely kind, stuff like that. I like the story line better and I like how Apollo is characterized so far. The build up in Kore and Apollo's relationship is done so much better than LO and I can't wait to see where you take the relationship.

It looks like I can leave comments on Dillyhub. Is that where you prefer to get positive feed back or do you prefer asks like this?

Aw thanks so much! Writing Hades is definitely fun, I know all too well that feeling of arguing with your own emotions, especially when it's concerning matters of the heart, so writing Hades' own struggles and perspectives in that way is very entertaining. I also personally just love writing male characters with Big Feelings(tm) regardless of whether or not they're capable of communicating those feelings (Hades definitely isn't there yet LOL) Guys are capable of feeling giddy / bashful / emotionally overwhelmed too and I feel like we don't see that enough in a lot of romance stories these days. He's got a lot to unpack but we're taking it slow so that neither he nor the audience get overwhelmed LOL All in due time though !!!

To answer your closing question - I'm usually checking notifications at least a couple times a day on Tumblr, reddit, and Dillyhub, so honestly, where you want to leave feedback or your theories / ideas / speculation / etc. is completely up to you! There are a variety of ways to interact with my work, either directly through the comment section on either Tumblr or DH, or indirectly through the #lore rekindled hashtag or the /r/LoreOlympusRekindled subreddit ! (which exists now thanks to some very cool fans!) We also have a community Discord if you want to discuss your theories 'n such with other readers 🤗💖

[ravi-is-my-beloved]

I will genuinely never get over 'Buddies hacked Lou' drama. This wasn't a little niche belief of some people on Twitter; I'm not a big blog by any means, and I lost so many people I've followed for YEARS because they insisted he must have been hacked...

People who seemed totally sane otherwise! They just came on Tumblr one day posting that 'it was so sad people would violate Lou's safety' or that they 'were waiting for more information to come out'. I think some people were really expecting him to make a statement about it, but he ignored it. BECAUSE HE WASN'T HACKED. And then everyone just kept insisting he was hacked or started being racist too. Oh, to be an average white guy in hollywood...

Tommy fans always are like "Oh, people bring up the stuff that Lou posted a decade ago but are so quick to excuse and not even talk about the transphobic stuff Ryan said last week." And like yes, we shouldn't be ignoring all of the problematic stuff Ryan is doing and saying but also, you're forgetting that Lou tweeted a problematic meme in 2024.

And it's because they wholeheartedly think Lou was hacked for reasons that fall flat when you look at those reasons with a critical eye.

"Oh, Buddie fans were the only ones who were awake and there to see Lou post that!" Have y'all heard of different timezones and how it's normal for a huge chunk of people to be awake at the same time?? Also, I don't believe for a single second that not a single Tommy fan was awake around that time too, they're just ignorantly believing that Lou was hacked.

"Lou would never have posted that, he changed!" He's a celebrity, you're never going to know him truly like you would a friend or family member. You don't know that he wouldn't have posted that in 2024, because you don't know him. You don't know that he's changed, he might've stopped posting problematic memes because he knew it would get him canceled in this day and age.

They were so quick to defend their favorite white actor that they truly fell down the rabbit hole of conspiracy theories. All because they want to paint all of Tommy Haters and Buddie fans as unhinged and vile.

Last week, I saw a BT fan on here say that Buddie fans have taken to creating fake posts of BT fans saying wild takes and screenshooting them to make BT fans seem bad and their reasoning for that was "I've never seen a BT fan actually say anything BoBs say we do." And so many people were reblogging and saying "Yeah, I follow so many BT blogs and I've never seen anything like what BoBs are saying."

I've said it before and I'll say it again, this fandom regularly takes stuff that is being said on Twitter and putting it on here to be like "Oh, look at what Buddie/BT fans are saying." And it's not entirely representative of what people are saying here on Tumblr. They do it all the time themselves, but apparently Buddie fans are the ones making shit up.

And these people are the same ones who are like "People who hate Tommy don't have critical thinking skills." (Something that I've actually seen someone on here say in one form or the other.)

Like I'm not the one who went through mental hoops to start a conspiracy theory that Buddie fans hacked Lou. I'm not the one who thinks that just because I haven't seen someone on my side of the ship war say something outlandish that it means no one on my side of the ship war had actually said that outlandish thing.

I admit that there are things that I struggle to understand/am slow to understand, but at least I'm not out here thinking that anyone who disagrees with me lacks critical thinking skills. And yes, I know my previous paragraph might seem like that's what I'm saying, but it's truly not. I'm just saying that you can't say that the haters are all unhinged/lack brain cells when you have believed something so readily without much thought/proof.

I'm going to end this response with this:

Not putting celebrities on a pedestal is truly something that this fandom struggles with. Anyone who puts any of the cast members on pedestals have forgotten that we will never truly know celebrities' true personalities.

[robyese3]

K. I'm writing this into the void but I have nobody to talk bridgerton to. I blow the dust off my Tumblr to rant. Season 3. Here we go

PT. 1

Trash. All four episodes could have honestly been condensed to one, maaaaybe two to compensate for all the side plots. It did nothing to redeem Penelope.

It did however make me love Cressida, and further convinced me Eloise is queer. That said - Claudia Jessie so far has had chemistry with every single person (Benedict, Penelope, Cressida, Theo). Maybe it's just her. Philip was cardboard though so... We'll see if she can rescue that.

Why would the wig department do my boy Colin like that? Dirtyyy.

Francesca is GORGEOUS. She does look older than Daphne and Eloise, but I don't even care. Stunning. And John is a button.

Where did Luke and Nicola's chemistry go?!

KANTHONY. Only redeeming factor, and not enough of them.

What happened to Debling? Why wouldn't they just have HIM marry Cressida???? Like...?? It would have been perfect.

I love the Mondrich's story line - why is everyone hating? I do agree that it would have been a great way to reintroduce the Duke into the story though. Kinda mentor them through it. I get Rege-Jean wanted out but like... Recast it?

PT 2

Ahhh there is their chemistry. Found it.

I am HERE for mama Featherignton's redemption arc. Only works because she seems genuinely remorseful.

Incredibly disappointed with the Cressida storyline. Just wrecked a really dynamic story. Ruined Eloise's character growth (which she desperately needs) and just undid the awesome set up from pt 1. Felt so wasteful, unnecessary, and sad.

Most of the sex scenes were hot as hell but there was one (I don't remember which) was kinda awkward getting off the ground. They were like... Talking too much? Haha

Daphne not being there for Colin NOR Francesca's wedding? Yeah right. Get your casting contracts figured out bridgerton! This family can't be this close and just be missing major events. Would never happen. Lock them actors in from day 1.

I felt like Colin's arc from finding out to supporting her was really vulnerable, realistic, and well done. He was hurt and angry, but never stopped loving her. Just needed to process and he defended her tooth and nail despite knowing she didn't want to quit it. Good job kiddo.

Ok does Benedict do ANYTHING else but fvck? So grateful they finally admitted he's queer. And I wish they would have gotten to that part of his development in pt 1 so we could see him navigating it more.

When Colin said he had to talk to Benedict about getting the money, and implying that Benedict has some responsibility in the family with Anthony's absence - that was the biggest character development for him outside of his sexuality.

Philippa has NOT gotten enough screentime during this series. How are we just seeing how delightful she is now?!

Part 2 did such a better job at redeeming Penelope. I drank the Kool aid, back on team Penelope. Wrecked Eloise though. Sorry girl. Be better.

Michaela Sterling. Was kinda digging the "soft" love, and autistic thing that was circling the Internet so I was a little disappointed to see that all it was is that she's actually not attracted to him (knew the second they kissed haha). BUT the actress is stunning and I'm intrigued on how they'll develop Francesca's yearning for children with the queer storyline.

I would have loved for another King George cameo. Or just an update on his health, idk. Anything.

All in all, this show could do with adding another episode or two to it's roster and figuring out their pacing earlier on ESPECIALLY if you're going to be splitting the season. And even more so, if you're going to be juggling 82 different storylines.

If we're slowly shifting back to traditional tv practices (weekly releases episodes, commercials, etc), let the next thing be a full episode count. Done with this single digit amount episode. Order at least 10-12 episodes!

[thefandomenchantress]

A new Disventure Camp episode came out today!! I figured now would be a good time to list some of my thoughts. Not only on this episode in particular, but also on Hunter's whole situation.

I mostly liked Ashley this episode, which is good since it was her last, but there's this one point in the episode that bothered me a lot, that being how she blows up at Jake and Ally for not getting along...And then just immediately forgives Jake the next scene when he gets sad?

I don't care if they make up, that's not what I'm getting at, but I really wish Jake would've apologized and said something like: "I'm sorry, Ashley, you're always so supportive and I just keep messing things up. I--I should've blown up at Ally like that-" and then have Ashley forgive him. As it is, I got some severe whiplash by how it seemed like Ashley was having a falling out with Jake and Ally, genuinely being mad at them, only for that to just be forgotten a few minutes later. I understand that Ashley is a forgiving person, but it seems too extreme even for her to just forgive him without him doing anything but complain about Tom being close. That's just what I think, though.

I really liked the rest of the episode, besides that small nitpick. I was worried I wouldn't like Gabby as much if she became evil and a legitimate threat, since I liked her more cartoony demeanor. Luckily, my worry was misplaced, because Gabby is just as silly as ever, even if she is trying to be evil. She literally said she was going to make a costume with a cape and mask to be evil in like she's a Scooby-doo villain or something, I love her so much. Then again, Yul did say she was a "Tumblr girl" so maybe it makes sense that I like her haha. While Gabby is a threat now, the writers don't try to make you take her super seriously, which I appreciated. Non-serious villains are always my favorites.

Sadly, I got Ashley's elimination partially spoiled for me (someone replied to a comment I made on the YouTube trailer for the episode, saying something along the lines of, 'yeah she goes home :)' to someone else in the replies who speculated she would. The downside of your comment becoming popular I guess). But I still liked it and genuinely considered that the person might've been lying when the elimination ceremony started. That was a pretty good subversion of expectations, I really thought Aiden was a goner.

I've never been a big fan of Jake, and while I'm not desperate for him to go home...I'm kind of over him, if I'm being honest. I know he's supposed to be flawed and partially unlikeable, but personally I just can't deal with all his bullshit, it stresses me out. I've never been too invested in TomJake, so all that nonsense this season hasn't been too fun for me, I'll be honest. I understand why people like it, but it's just not for me, I suppose. At this point I'm thankful James got out early, so that at least there's no drama between him and Aiden (yet). Most of the relationships this season are going downhill, haha. Except for Ally and Tess (please bring the polycule back I miss it it's one of the only polycule representations I've ever seen in media PLEASE--).

(Now starting the Hunter section. if you don't want to hear my insane ramblings about him, turn back.)

...I don't know when I'm going to make another post about Disventure Camp so I'm gonna vent about Hunter here, too. He was technically mentioned this episode, so it's totally relevant that I talk about him, right? Right.

Hunter was my favorite in season 2. I honestly don't know why, since he's pretty bland all things considered. Usually, I like the zany characters. I think it was him repeatedly failing to befriend Tess that pulled me in, since I can never resist a...Boyfailure? I think that's the internet term for it.

But this season I was just...NOT into his characterization. And as far as I've seen, I'm in the minority with that opinion, since I've seen a lot of people say they like him more now. The main line of reasoning I've seen is, "He was boring in season 2, and I liked him better in All-Stars because they gave him flaws."

And...I don't agree. I'm fine with them 3-dimentionaliszing his character, I agree that he was pretty flat before in terms of characterization. Actually, I'd love if they gave him some flaws! What if they highlight how bad he is at making connections/alliances with anyone other than Ally and Tess? They kind of do this by making Fiore be on his team and showing how his strategy of "win challenges to stay in the game" completely falls apart when he can't win challenges. And I thought that was all fine and good.

The thing I don't like is how they decided one of his main flaws should be being a not-good boyfriend. Which just doesn't feel right to me? His whole thing in season two was offering emotional support to Ally and Tess, and now they spin it so that he isn't paying proper attention to Ally or what she says, not grabbing her Switch, not listening to her when she talks about her games, etc.. I'm fine with Ally and Hunter having relationship troubles, but...I don't know, I guess I'm just a little mad they took his compassion away. He just seems a lot angrier and more mean-spirited this go around. He's not fun to watch. I think I have a good example to prove what I mean.

In the Secret-revealing episode of season 2, one of Ally's secrets is that she yelled at a group of children until they cried because they were using cheats in a game she was playing, and her excuse for doing so is that she was stressed. The writers bashing Ally aside, Hunter says something like, "Do you always yell at children when you're stressed?" in response, showing that even though he hasn't met those children who were doing something wrong, he doesn't think lashing out at them was okay.

...Meanwhile season 3 Hunter is yelling and lashing out at Fiore, a child, the whole time he's in the game. I know it's not exactly the same, Fiore is a bit of a demon-child, and Hunter was, ironically, stressed, but still. He seems so much more competitive and not as nice as he used to be. Being chill used to be his default, but now it's a sort of aggressiveness that just doesn't mesh with the original Hunter in my mind.

...I recently read that something happened behind the scenes that helped create this change in characterization, but as someone who wasn't aware of that when the first episodes aired and became upset when he was changed, I really would've liked to at least have an in-universe explanation instead of this just happening. Because until I read that information, I thought they changed him just because they thought the audience didn't like him much in season two. In short, I thought it was a needless retcon and became upset when there was no explanation for the change. If the behind-the-scenes stuff was a big enough deal that they wanted to change him like this without in-universe explanation...I might've preferred them just not using him at all. Then again, the season's not over. So I guess it's a little unfair of me to assume anything yet.

Anyways, that's all just my opinion. Feel free to share your thoughts or tell me why you think I'm being too dramatic about Hunter, haha. I feel like I'm one of very few season-two-Hunter enjoyers, so I'm not expecting that to be a super popular take. I'm just mopey that he changed, I guess.

[amoscontorta]

i have thoughts about your most recent fic and tumblr’s comment character limit has brought me to your ask box again 🙈

omgggg it’s so good to know sylus’s POV during that wine night!! and i don’t know why and how, but sylus’s thoughts about mc here, esp how he feels about her selfless tendencies (to her detriment), makes me feel vulnerable and seen. when i read reader-insert fics, i tend to imagine a separate character for mc even though it’s technically supposed to be me in my head. perhaps the character i made up resembles me (but better lmao), but different enough that she’s like an individual on her own. but when i read this fic, it’s like sylus was talking about me, as in the real me, which made me emotional. it could be that the way mc handles herself poorly in here resonates with me due to some irl stuff, but honestly it’s primarily how good you write about a character’s emotions and thoughts. it’s like the words reached across my screen and tugged at my heart. you’re such a great writer when it comes to expressing a character’s innermost thoughts. it’s like i’ve been placed inside a character’s mind to bare witness their raw self.

again, i love how your sylus x mc dynamics, at least for this series, revolve around an mc oblivious to how much sylus cares about her. it seems she doesn’t even believe she’s deserving of such affection, nor is she fitting to be the object of such primal desires. in a way, she’s kind of self-sabotaging in the sense that she thinks she doesn’t deserve kindness, help, and affection. she’s genuinely fine with taking the brunt of the pain and suffering – and not even in the hero, martyr kind of way. it seems it’s how she’s always been, such behavioral tendencies of hers seem to be as normal as the sky is blue, which is sad and concerning because she deserves so much. i’m honestly excited to see sylus try to knock down her hardened walls and have her realize how deserving she is of so many things. i hope she realizes she can relax, rest, take it easy, and feel safe. especially with him.

i actually laughed out loud about how unhinged sylus can be about his sexual desires for her. like the man is blue-balled to heck, but he isn’t the kind to succumb to his base urges. he really respects and loves mc. i think i would even say he reveres her, given the fan theories around their past. it’s like his urges are just something that come with his intense adoration and care for mc, which is so so admirable and attractive.

maybe i’m just a tad sensitive today, but i completely zeroed in on the emotional aspects of this fic – quite a difference as to how i salivated over your previous fic in your ask box LMAO. coincidence is such a funny thing because i feel like i really needed to read this fic today. i feel much better and more ready to face the day. this has been such a good read, and i humbly offer my apologies for yapping at your ask box yet again 🧎‍♀️🫣

First off, you never have to apologize for sending me your thoughts. I'm so happy every time I receive an ask, it's always an unexpected surprise. And your asks are always really thoughtful and fun to read! I wasn't just patronizing you when I said last time that it was really fun to receive such a spicy ask about the NSFW aspects of Sylus's character and dynamic with mc in these stories. A huge part of his appeal is his physicality and how he shows his affection through actions. Hot, hot, actions.

To be honest, this message from you is really reassuring, because I've noticed that a lot of the fanfic that gets a lot of traction in (any) fandom is of the NSFW variety (which, duh, I totally understand and appreciate and consume happily), and I worry that because I'm not currently focusing purely on that aspect of Sylus that people will be less interested in reading what I'm sharing, especially the installments that are so mc POV heavy. So to hear that you also like being in this mc's head, and can relate to this mc, that how I have Sylus respond to this mc's issues and hangups and trauma brings you comfort, is amazing for me as a wannabe writer. Although I also want to give you a hug (with your consent of course) if you can really relate to this mc because no one should ever have to feel what you so accurately point out about what this mc feels: that whatever pain you're experiencing is normal, and expected, and you can hardly imagine that someone would be so dedicated to helping relieve it for and with you. Because everyone deserves to feel cherished and demand more than the bare minimum from the world and the people in their life. I'm hoping that I can keep writing this story as an exploration of Sylus teaching mc that, and that you continue to derive comfort from it. Because in the end, fanfic can serve many purposes. And just like it can be a vehicle for exploring incredibly dark and disturbing and cathartic themes using our favorite characters, I think it can also be the ultimate comfort food, and sometimes you should just be able to feel fucking good reading it. I'm so happy to hear that this part did that for you. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts.

[judasgot-it]

Tachihara x Reader

Scenario: You get a ride home with Tachihara after attending a company party. On the way back, you decide to attend a shitty pop-up carnival

I had this in my drafts for like over 2 months so I just wanted to like, finally finish it. I think it's silly and idk not the best, still figuring out how to write Tachihara TBH but I think he's a cutie patootie.

Side note this is like 3500 words ?? it's kinda long for tumblr but ima upload it anyway

As the secretary of the Hunting Dogs, you were unfortunately forced to attend their company parties.

If there was someone else in your department, you would have loved to complain to them about how this was 'unfair' and a 'worker's violation' as you were not even being paid to attend these.

Off the clock.

But no one else was dumb enough to take this job, so you were the only person in your department. Seriously, you did the paperwork for 5 people.

The dental was amazing, though.

But that left you as the only 'sane' person forced to witness the antics of the Hunting Dogs while they were drunk. Really, you forced to watch them sober, since you couldn't ever get more than a drink in before the drinking contest began.

You would think Tecchou would be better than this but as of now, he was doing karaoke with the commander while Teruko was laughing at...nothing. She was somehow standing though, which was better than Fukuchi who was shirtless and kneeling on the floor while singing whatever song was playing.

You could barely tell what it was, it might've been Taylor Swift. He seemed...passionate.

If you had to hear whatever sad song it was all night you were going to make your ears bleed.

Although thankfully, you had a backup plan. You couldn't drive - your car was destroyed in a recent bombing attack, so you were lucky that your bed for tonight was your desk.

Which was on the other side of the building, probably far enough away to at least let you sleep quietly.

You could probably get away with it. No one here would notice.

So you took your snacks - which were probably the best thing about these parties, and left for what would be your bedroom

Exiting the room, you could see now that it was quiet and kind of terrifying - a liminal space.

The hallway was now darker than it should have been, settled in an uneasy quiet. The lights above your head had sobered you up quickly, as you walked away from the room, leaving the sounds of laughter and screaming.

You felt something warm pull your shoulder to look behind you. The reaction you had might have been dramatic.

"Are you ok? You aren't scared are you?"

Tachihara was there, smiling as he looked perfectly sober - he didn't even smell of any alcohol, holding a juice box instead.

Now you felt a real fear coursing through your veins. He was going to say something, wasn't he?

"No, I was just heading out."

You weren't shaken easily - unsettled yes, but not truly scared.

"Do you want a ride home?" He said it with a genuine smile, not knowing the genuine terror that was running through your veins right now.

You really did care about Tachihara, as he was probably the most normal member of the Hunting Dogs, but there was one flaw you could not get around.

He drove a motorcycle. You hated motorcycles.

It was nothing short of terrifying every time you saw him riding it, let alone the thought of you getting on it. How could you? It was nothing short of a death trap.

There were no seatbelts either, there was just too much that could possibly kill you.

"No that's ok. I didn't plan on going home anyway, I was going to sleep in my office."

It sounded weird saying it outloud, but you were not going to let him take you on a ride on his deathtrap.

Tachihara just blinked.

"Really? Isn't it closed off still for cleaning?"

Oh. Right.

"Then the lounge. I can manage. Seriously, don't worry about me, just get yourself home, ok? I don't want to be a bother when it's so late."

You tried to sound serious, but Tachihara was still a man that had major flaws. His right now? Being too kind.

A good flaw, but a painful one to fight.

"No it's ok, you aren't a bother. Seriously, your house isn't far off from mine, it'd be very quick I swear."

He was earnest, already leading you in the opposite direction of where you were originally going. You decided not to fight it.

Home was better than a dirty floor anyway, so why not?

You let him guide you to where his vehicle of death was waiting, accepting your fate.

It would be a short ride, so you would just have to suffer through it for only a little bit. That's what you told yourself.

"Oh, Jouno! What are you doing out here?"

Oh god oh please no.

Just at your greatest inconvenience, you found Jouno outside the building, right in front of the parking lot, sitting right at the smoker's bench. His white head of hair peaked from underneath the overhang, nearly impossible to ignore.

"Oh, Tachihara. Are you heading home?"

"Yeah, I was bringing Y/n home too. Do you need a ride? I can't help but notice you're sitting here by yourself..."

Tachihara was too kind. You were already forced to accept his offer, but please, Jouno could take care of himself-

"Tachihara have I ever told you that you're one of the only people I respect on the team?"

Jouno had gotten up, strolling over to where the two of you stood underneath the light. You hated this. Jouno definitely was going to tease you about how scared you were, which was not fun at all.

Also, how were three people going to fit on his bike? It wasn't exactly the biggest, and shoving you between two full-grown men didn't seem ideal.

"Are you sure we're all going to fit? I could just go back inside or call a ride."

You said this in hopes of maybe getting out of it one last time. Jouno just laughed.

"Aw, are you scared?"

Tachihara, the angel that he was, reached over and patted your shoulder.

"You'll have me and Jouno. Know I won't let anything happen to you - swear on it."

"You swear on what?"

Tachihara paused, contemplating his next words.

"Um...my sword."

You raised your eyebrow at him. He patted your shoulder again, trying to put your unease to rest.

"Let's just go."

Jouno walked ahead, towards what will be your sudden demise. You tried to stay calm following behind them as you saw the death trap in waiting.

Tachihara walked towards its side, taking the helmet he had let hang on its handlebar, and gently placed it on top of your head. You didn't bother fighting him, looking to the side as he fiddled with the clasps underneath your chin.

"You probably need this the most. Don't worry though, I'm a safe driver."

"It's not that - what if there's a drunk driver and they hit us? What if I fall off? What if we're all too heavy and we can't turn properly and we crash and explode?"

You felt a hand land on your shoulder as your heart pumped through your ears. Your fear was starting to overwhelm you.

"Don't be a pussy Y/n. Get on, I'd like to go home."

That was really reassuring. Thanks, Jouno.

You straightened up, holding your sandwiches closer to your chest. Tachihara sat on the bike, patting the seat behind him.

You got on, pressing your body behind Tachihara's. You didn't know what to do with your arms, so you just clutched your sandwiches. They were your sense of comfort right now.

"Y/n, you'll fall off if you don't hold onto something."

Oh. With one arm, you grabbed Tachihara's waist, trying your best to keep your head up and look forward.

"Scoot forward."

You felt Jouno sit behind you, pressing you closer against Tachihara. You felt his hand sneak around you, stealing from your sandwich bag. Bastard.

You swatted him away, trying not to fall off. It led to you leaning your full body on Tachihara, who was taking a long time to put his keys in the ignition.

"Did you forget how to drive Tachihara? I'm getting a little cold back here."

Jouno said this with a mouthful of your sandwich. He chastises manners but here he was, a thief and a brat.

"Who said you could have my sandwiches?"

"They aren't yours, know your place Y/n."

"You didn't even stay to eat any of them so shut up-"

The bike started, to Tachihara's joy. You felt the fear course back through your body again, but you didn't get to dwell on it it again as he only kicked back the leg and started bike, not giving you even a chance to adjust yourself.

You tried to hold your head up and stay strong, not show weakness - but the wind picking up around you and all you could do was bury your head behind Tachihara.

You heard Tachihara and Jouno begin a conversation but you didn't even acknowledge it, not even the sandwich stealing anymore as you held onto the man before you as if your life depended on it. Hopefully, his surgeries were enough to protect against your iron grip, as it was the only thing that made you truly feel safe.

The ride wasn't even a full 5 minutes but you felt like you were in hell that whole time. You'd think being pressed against two men like this would be more romantic but you didn't feel that way, instead feeling bile rise up in your throat every time you all turned.

"That stupid carnival is back in the city. I can smell it from all the way over here."

You perked up at that. Jouno had his head up, his hands loosely holding onto your waist - this type of ride really did seem normal to him, as he just looked out somewhere, eating his sandwich.

"Oh that seems fun. Do you wanna go? They stay open pretty late."

Jouno scoffed.

"No, they absolutely reek. I also happen to value my sleep, unlike some people." The people you assumed he was referring to were his teammates, who were most likely either passed out drunk or still singing their godawful karaoke.

"Why don't you and Y/n go, I know you absolutely love carnival rides, don't you Y/n?"

Your heart was speeding up. That was terrifying - you hated the idea of any of that.

"Who says I don't like my sleep either, Jouno?"

"I'd like to go! C'mon, it'd be fun! We can go on rides, maybe we'll even arrest someone!"

Tachihara was being so positive tonight. It was almost suspicious. It was tempting to say yes just because of his attitude alone, but there was that funny feeling in your stomach at the thought of it.

"But what if the ride breaks down and we all get crushed or fall out and die?"

You were simply being realistic.

"I'm a hunting dog, Y/n. I can handle something like that easily. Plus, if that happened Jouno would be there, right?"

"I'm not a chaperone for your little kiddie date. You can handle things by yourselves, the worst is just you guys getting scammed."

Finally, you'd stopped to drop off Jouno. He could've walked this distance, although maybe he had something to gain from the ride. Like your food, which was now all gone.

All you had left was an empty bag, the absolute prick that he was. He also left you a cold back, since you were squished between him and Tachihara during the duration of your ride. From his smirk, as he was walking away, waving goodbye to the two of you, he knew how agitated he had left you.

It made you pull yourself closer to Tachihara, trying to steal his body warmth in order to recoup what had been lost. Tachihara coughed, adjusting himself so the two of you could have more space on the bike.

"So? Let's go to the carnival."

It was a way to break the silence the two of you had fallen into. He said it was a confident smile, as if he practiced this in the mirror twenty times before. You simply nodded, not knowing how to reply.

He revved up the bike, heading in its direction. You didn't know what to say to get out of this, since a part of you did want to go.

It'd be like a fun date, even if you couldn't say that out loud.

"I'm scared of rollercoasters."

You told him honestly. You hoped he wouldn't judge you, seeing as he was a very earnest man.

"I figured. Don't worry, we'll conquer your fear tonight. Exposure therapy does wonders, and plus? I'll be there the entire time, so it's not like you'll be alone."

You said nothing, just holding his waist firmly. This seemed like a better idea than what you had originally planned for tonight, so why not? You could trust Tachihara.

He stopped the bike, in some lot a little walk away from the carnival. You could hear the pop music and screams coming from the place.

Turning towards you, he gave you a warm smile.

"If anything does happen, I'll be sure to protect you, ok?"

You handed him the helmet, giving him a smile. You did appreciate the gesture, as much as it was well-intentioned. That didn't stop you from not wanting to rip your own teeth out of your mouth as you got off the bike and forced yourself the walk towards the carnival, and not away.

"How expensive are these places anyway? I don't actually know if I have my wallet on me."

"Oh don't worry, we aren't paying."

Oh?

Tachihara turned towards you, a strange look on his face. One you would associate with Teruko or Jouno - a grin that typically held ill intentions.

Mischief.

What was this man dragging you into?

Well, turns out - dubiously legal activities.

Being a hunting dog had its perks. For one thing, his government ID assured him discounts everywhere he went. It was great when he went grocery shopping - you would know, you abused Fukuchi's credit card as a perk of your job.

Although telling the ticketing staff that he was 'inspecting' the rides, and would arrest anyone who didn't comply with his orders, hardly counted as getting a 'free' discount.

You were now forced to play along with this. You didn't even know Tachihara had such a cruel side to him, bullying a bunch of carnival workers who just wanted to get a paycheck by making fun of teenagers and out-of-touch men in their 40s.

It was a hard job to have, obviously.

The staff stalked the two of you as you walked in, giving you goosebumps. It didn't help that the two of you were still in your work clothes, really selling the 'government inspection' that the two of you were giving.

Although by the end of the night, you were expecting your clothing to probably need a good dry cleaning.

The fair wasn't bad - but you could smell vomit near some of the rides, and they looked suspiciously rusty. Clearly, this place was in tip-top shape. You just had to convince yourself that the Ferris wheel wasn't making suspicious creaking sounds every time it started up again.

You clearly were just a bit paranoid.

"So what should we ride first? I'm thinking we start small and then build our way up."

Tachihara had his hands on his hips, looking around for the best ride to start. He was being nice at least, giving you the illusion of choice now that you've gotten this far.

You were stuck. It didn't matter what you did, you were the idiot that agreed.

"I'm ok with that. I don't think the hand gliders look that bad, they seem pretty tame."

It also featured a seatbelt. And a big, nice, safety bar.

The best part? It was a two-seated ride. So if something happened on that ride, you knew that Tachihara would be there with you.

Tachihara smiled, as clearly, this would be a good night for him.

-

The night was going about as great as you expected it to. Although, you could even say a little better, even.

If this were a date, you might have kissed Tachihara by the end of it. You sure as hell owed him something at the very least, as he had now been your human cushion on several rides, preventing you from being crushed against the greasy metal as they began.

It was a good thing he was a hunting dog. Your body weight against his was nothing to him, although he still felt like complaining once and a while about how much pain you put his ribs in.

As if you were the one with the bright idea to go here.

If he died because you crushed him to death, it was entirely his fault and his fault alone.

"You know what we need to do?"

You watched as he pointed at the ferris wheel - one that loomed over the carnival, due to it's sheer height. Seriously, how tall was that thing?

"I mean...yeah."

There were no arguments against him here. You've gone on every other ride already - you've even ridden the carousel 3 times. Tachihara used the excuse that you were 'inspecting the ride' for imperfections.

You were starting to think he was serious at some point, when he spent 5 minutes grilling a poor fair worker about the importance of safety and on how rusty their bolts were.

There was no time to dwell on that though - Tachihara was smiling as he dragged you to the last stop at the carnival of doom.

"I heard some kid saying that from the top they could see the entire city. That sounds pretty cool, doesn't it?"

He was smiling ear to ear.

You couldn't deny that offer when he looked like that.

So with your head in your heart, you let yourself be dragged through the motions, letting it drop to your stomach as you watched the city fall below you as your body raised to the sky.

You tried to stay at ease even as you were slowly raised higher and higher into the sky, the cart you were sat in shaking back and forth more than you were comfortable with.

It made you scoot closer to Tachihara, squeezing him as if he were your lifeline. He might as well be, since his body would survive a fall at this height while yours would splatter.

"Look! You can see headquarters over there."

He was pointing outward, towards a rather dark spot of the city. But it was visible, which to you felt amazing.

Also terrifying.

You clutched his arm tighter. As insurance.

He was also incredibly warm - it was cold so high up, and unfortunately, your work uniform did not account for this. You were practically trying to melt into him due to how cold you were, but you still had some pride left. You would suffer a little, having your exposed skin go numb from the cold.

"Hey, Y/n. I wanna tell you something."

"Are you going to kiss me?"

It was the perfect moment for it, really. You couldn't blame him. Everything was screaming that this was a "how I met your mother" moment anyway.

"What? Sorry. Um. No. Just-"

Tachihara looked at you, red in the face. He pushed you into his chest, holding you tight. If you squeaked, that was between you, him and the ferris wheel.

"I think I like you."

You blinked. Your hands were awkwardly held up around Tachihara, not knowing where to go. You could feel him awkwardly fidgeting with the fabric on your shoulders in your silence, as you tried to figure out a way to respond.

The ferris wheel creaked in the silence, keeping the two of you alone up top, watching the city.

"Um. I like you too, Tachihara."

You put your hands on his waist, feeling just below his ribcage. He was skinny for a guy, but you could still feel his strength.

"But how much?"

"How much?"

"How much do you like me?"

You huffed, gripping his uniform shirt and pulling him away. His eyes were almost wet with worry as he looked at you, trying to discern what you meant by your words. Fucking idiot.

"Enough to deal with this. And enough to want to kiss you."

You cupped his cheeks with your hands, looking him dead in his honey eyes. His gaze was dead set, looking right at you, not even at the city that was behind you.

"Kiss me. I'm not asking again."

You closed your eyes and waited until you felt his cold lips press against yours, finally obliging your order. It was all enough to distract you from how your stomach dropped at the thought of being so high up in the air, as now your stomach was dropping at his hands reaching down to touch your waist, his knees knocking against yours as he tried to pull you closer.

[vellichorom]

You absolutely don't deserve it with the mischaracterization. :(

All the ocs you make are so wonderful and full of personality. I'm so sorry they get reduced down to single traits or made fun of.

I personally love checking in with your blog seeing your ocs.

They may not be my absolutely favorite ocs of all time. But I can still tell the thought you put into them!!

Keep drawing them if they make you happy!

huuu hweeb..... thank youou........ that genuinely means a lot to hear,

i feel very bashful referring to thierry AS an OC ( although let's face it, he's Pretty Much my OC by this point or very easily could be ) but GOD. it's like...

as i began to rise in popularity, i noticed a very Significant escalation in my narrator being used as the butt of numerous jokes; painted as this slobbish pig, horrible person nobody can stand to be around be it for attitude or " smell " & just get treated TERRIBLY. numerous asks getting sent to me asking if he bathes or describing him as someone who doesn't, numerous other jokes painting him as this homely bum or incompetent-

fucking sad-ist themselves referring to thierry as homeless-lookinh at least twice to my face,

getting kicked around by people & characters in roleplay alike & just! so disrespected & reduced to jokes, mischaracterized to hell & back & having this be assumed as his canon. it's genuinely upsetting.

& it's like, yeah- this is the fandom that sees the narrator as ONLY a twink sexyman, i GUESS anything else that breaches the norm wouldn't be nearly as respected, but my god !!!!!! i seriously wonder if some people think i created thierry's design as a joke, to LOOK homely or unrespectable, to BE the punching bag for everyone else.

when in reality, i'm just sharing my perspective, made with love & dedication, with other people & it's getting shit on for reasons i'm not even sure about, & it makes ME feel terrible as a creator & feel bad about my interpretation. THANKFULLY, this isn't everyone & this perspective IS very well loved & i do appreciate that from everyone who's ever made that known - INCLUDING YOU ANON, it means SO much more than i can say & especially in these harder periods.

but it seems like now thierry's gotten this reputation AS a joke, AS lesser than the character he's supposed to be, so stuck to him as a character that it's hard for ME, the creator, to chase? even if it's been awhile since anyone's directly made a " huehue stinky " joke at me.

& it sounds so STUPID being mad about that when i type this out, but the reality is that people are taking unfunny stupid jokes & using that to characterize MY character rendition & impression of him & to see that is EXTREMELY DISCOURAGING.

this isn't even the first i've had to address the disrespect i face, this is just the first i've made it public on tumblr. i've had to say how much i hate this treatment at LEAST 3 times in private discord servers & continue to scream over people when they insist upon it otherwise. it's REALLY made me unhappy to be apart of this fandom in the latter half of my being here,

but. i'm not going to let that get me down forever, i know i won't.

just, you know? if there's anything to take from this? be nice about people's characters & make your jokes ( if so the creator allows ) but don't act like that's all the character is reduced to, & listen when a creator tells you stuff about them & don't reduce them down to whatever trait you think is funniest for the meme ???? just be respectful ?????

[twistedtummies2]

Ranking Twisted Wonderland - Part 1

In August of 2020, I joined Tumblr for the first time. That same year, I posted a very early version of a ranking/countdown of my favorite characters from Twisted Wonderland: a game that has basically come to define my page. I write about a lot of things on here, but Twisted Wonderland is my “flagship fandom,” as it were.

I have revisited this idea of ranking my favorites from the game’s main cast of twenty-two students from Night Raven College a couple times since…but I was never happy with any of those attempts. I decided that, to celebrate my 3rd year anniversary here on Tumblr, and just as many years in love with the game, to do something special and try to rectify this issue: a comprehensive, two-part countdown/ranking of ALL those twenty-two characters, listing them from my least favorite to my most favorite, and - furthermore - explaining WHY they had they place they did and what I loved about each character. That, dear readers, is what you are looking at now: the first part of that ranking. (The second part will be posted tomorrow.) Each half will cover eleven options; this first half will cover choices 22 through 12; tomorrow will follow the top eleven. I based my decisions on a number of things. One, obviously, is just personal bias, and that’s naturally something one simply has no control over: sometimes you’ll like certain characters more than others “just because,” and one just has to deal with that fact. The remaining factors, however, are slightly more technical: for example, how excited do I get when Cards featuring the characters come up? Are they ones I always go for, or ones I always skip? Also, in my writing, how much do I like playing with that character, or how much do I want to play with them? For those who know my page, I’m specifically talking non-kinks there…although I should add that I will be taking kinks into account. That sort of just gets lumped into “personal bias.” On one final note there, this is a list of my favorite CHARACTERS, not my favorite CRUSHES: for me, personally, there is a difference. This was not easy to make, and there are multiple characters here where I honestly wish I could rank them higher, or where it’s all a matter of my mood (like, some days I like them more than others, if that makes sense). The fact is that I genuinely and truthfully love ALL of these lads; there really are no bad characters in the entire bunch, at least in my humble opinion. Also, again, I’m specifically talking the 22 “Main Students,” so no side characters, no staff members, and certainly no Grim. With that said, let’s begin. Here is the start of my rankings of the central cast for Twisted Wonderland: From “Least Good” to Best!

22. Cater Diamond.

Cater is a fun character with a lot of energy, who represents a common dichotomy that runs through most of the characters in this cast. At first, he seems like a typical social media junkie: obsessed with self-image, overly cheerful, practically speaking a language made up of hashtags, and seemingly ready to take a selfie with everyone and everything in breathing distance. However, underneath this, there are other sides to Cater he seems to try and keep hidden: he has a rather sneaky side to him, and there’s also hints of something terribly sad beneath his mask of smiling enthusiasm. At times I think that superficial side gets a bit annoying, which may or may not be the point…but it’s never enough to make me hate him. Unfortunately, it is enough to make him place at the bottom of the ranks.

21. Silver.

Silver ranks low because he’s sort of a cypher to me. There’s a sort of mysterious quality to the character, perhaps unintentional, as I find him to be one of the hardest characters to fully get a grasp on in a lot of ways. It’s telling that he is the only major character in the cast (minus Grim) whose last name is never given; he’s simply known as “Silver.” However, again, this doesn’t make him a character I dislike: for one thing, I enjoy that sense of mystery, because it feels like - with what we DO know about the guy - there’s a lot of interesting things waiting to be discovered still. He’s also one of the more unique characters in the cast, since he’s one of only two who is based not on a Disney Villain, but on a Disney Hero: the character is inspired by Princess Aurora herself, with a dash of Prince Philip thrown in, which makes him all the more intriguing when you realize his master (and adoptive big brother, by all accounts), Malleus, is based on the nemesis of those characters. I’m curious to see how that fact plays into the story; at the moment, Chapter 7 is not available in English, and I’m trying to avoid spoilers as much as I can. I know that Silver gets a big boost as a character due to the events of that chapter, but since I haven’t seen it yet…right now, he gets lower points. I am 90% sure that, when I see that Chapter, this fact will change and he will be given much higher placement. As it stands…this is where he sits.

20. Sebek Zigvolt.

Poor Sebek. I actually want to like this guy more than I do, but no matter how hard I try, I just don’t. Sebek definitely has his appealing qualities, and he’s probably one of the funniest characters in the game. It’s rare that scenes with Sebek don’t leave me snickering and rolling my eyes with amusement at his over-boisterous, Malleus-obsessed personality. His ego is a funny thing, and there’s a lot of humor that comes from seeing his pomposity punctured. However, at times those same qualities, much like with Cater, can be a bit grating. It was actually hard to choose between him and Silver, as far as which of the two I liked most. I ultimately decided to put Sebek over Silver simply because I think he’s a bit easier to understand and get into the head of.

19. Trey Clover.

The great paradox with Trey is that what I like about him is also what lands him so low in the ranks. Trey is the single most level-headed character at NRC. He’s sort of an encouraging big brother figure, and his more mild-mannered, practical personality makes him a great contrast to Riddle, as well as many of the other characters in the game. While he’s ostensibly inspired by one of the Card Guards, he actually seems to be based largely on the King of Hearts: a humbler figure than his housewarden, but with his own sneaky side, a trait he shares with Cater. However, the problem with Trey’s generally more “normal” personality is that, by being a character who, by design, tends to fade into the background a bit…he does exactly that, especially when you consider all the wild and colorful characters who surround him. As a result, I can’t really rank him any higher than this.

18. Rook Hunt.

Rook is one of the most oddball characters in the game…and as you can imagine, that’s saying quite a lot. He’s also probably one of the creepiest. He’s inspired by the Huntsman from “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,” but you probably wouldn’t guess it at first glance. He arguably changes the most from his source material: Rook is a fashionable Frenchman with a flamboyant personality. He’s a poet and a seeker of things of beauty, with more romance in his heart than a dozen Harlequin novels. He’s also seemingly fearless, which is part of what makes him occasionally unsettling: you can snarl at him, threaten him with all sorts of horrible forms of destruction, show off muscles and claw and fangs…and he just reacts with some over-the-top variation of, “That’s magnificent! Show me more!” But perhaps the thing that makes Rook truly unnerving is that he seems to adhere to the logic of “The Most Dangerous Game.” Rook is OBSESSED with hunting; he uses it as an analogy for almost everything he does, and he seems to treat just about everyone he finds interesting like a hunter stalking their prey. He has many secrets, and a lot of them are to things we don’t WANT the answers to. He’s equal parts fun and frightening, and I’ve come to like him more over time (something that can be said for a lot of characters in the game), but he still ranks fairly low in my books. He’s just not a character I’m that interested in writing for.

17. Ortho Shroud.

It’s about this time in the ranking that I start to feel REALLY bad about placing some characters particularly low. As I said before, I love all of these lads, but I naturally like some more than others. Ortho is unique among the cast just due to the simple premise of his entire existence: he’s an android who has been programmed to behave like the little brother of Idia Shroud (the Hades character of the game). This means he’s not only the youngest character of the cast - an eternal child who presumably never grows any older (Peter Pan sympathizes) - but he’s also the only one of the crew who isn’t an organic being of any kind. Ortho is another example of the dichotomy of darkness and light that most of these characters have: on the one hand, he’s an adorable little sweetheart who just wants his big brother to be happy and have more friends to play with. He’s inquisitive, enthusiastic, and somehow manages to be innocent while literally being a walking Internet browser at the same time. On the other hand, Ortho is armed to the teeth with weapons of mass destruction and all kinds of crazy gizmos and gadgets, which can lead to some…alarming situations, since he doesn’t always emotionally process issues properly. He seriously sees no issue with blowing annoying people to smithereens. Equally split between scary and sweet, Ortho is the most adorable little murder machine you could ever meet.

16. Lilia Vanrouge.

Much like Epel, Lilia is someone whose outer appearance - a seemingly youthful, self-admittedly adorable, and rather spritely young lad - is the polar opposite of who he really is deep down.The difference is in how that is expressed. Beneath his Puckish exterior, Lilia is a wise old man…who if you will pardon my French, gives nary the slightest of f#cks. He’s an ancient warrior, older than ANYONE at Night Raven, who comes to the school for purposes of his own. He’s forgotten more about history, human and fairy alike, than any textbook author will ever know. He’s practically a father figure to both Malleus and Silver, and - just like Epel - he knows how to use his appearance to his advantage. He lures people in with his slight looks and eccentric personality, or uses them to throw people off the scent, before promptly showing them just how wicked he can really be. He reminds me a lot of characters like Sans from “Undertale” or the Doctor from “Doctor Who”: to paraphrase the latter show, Lilia has the demeanor of a prattling jackanapes…but inside, it’s a whole other story. He’s one of Night Raven’s fascinating characters, as a result, but I simply enjoy others a lot more.

15. Epel Felmier.

Speaking of characters who can be scary and sweet, Epel is the definition of that classic meme, “Looks like a cinnamon roll, could actually kill you.” Well…maybe not KILL, but certainly beat the tar out of your wagon. Epel, at first glance, is an effeminate, childlike lad with big baby eyes and a graceful physique. This is the total opposite of who he is inside: Epel is a country boy, born and bred, who’s used to rough labor and a rugged lifestyle. He has a thick Southern dialect, loves action and fast vehicles, and can whoop your arse in about three seconds flat if you let him. Epel’s whole story arc in the game, in fact, is learning how to balance his inner fire with the doll-like appearance of his face and form…sometimes a bit against his will. He wants so badly to be seen as a Manly Man of Manly Man Manness, but he’s always finding people who underestimate him based on his girlish demeanor, or who try to teach him to be more refined and reserved than he truly is under the surface. He’s the living embodiment of the Poison Apple: a tempting, beautiful, delicate-looking thing with a hard, thick, juicy, and downright dangerous undercurrent. The result is honestly pretty funny, as well as interesting.

14. Idia Shroud.

Like I mentioned earlier, Idia is the character based on Hades in this game. This flame-haired computer genius is probably one of the most interesting twists on their respective source you’ll find in “Twisted Wonderland.” When people think of Disney’s Hades, they think of a confident, fast-talking, Mephistophelean figure with a smarmy attitude and a wry sense of humor, whose attempts to be smooth and slick are contrasted by a raging inferno of a temper. Idia is interesting in that he’s actually none of these things…or, at least, not at first glance. Idia is a reclusive, anti-social misfit who literally is afraid of people EXISTING anywhere NEAR him. He prefers to stay shut in his lair playing video games and watching anime or old horror movies than to be anywhere close to another living being, for fear that he’ll BREATHE wrong around them. (No, that is not an exaggeration.) Online, however, Idia actually shows another side to his personality, which is much closer to Hades, and he can be very passive-aggressive or downright mean-spirited when he feels he has some security to be. Idia appeals on two different levels, as a result: he’s one of the most sympathetic and at times downright cute characters in the game, but his nasty side - where his inspiration really shows - is just as entertaining, especially in the unique way it’s presented.

13. Vil Schoenheit.

Vil is another case of a character I’ve come to enjoy and understand more as time has gone on. In fact, when I look back on older stories I wrote featuring Vil, I sort of cringe because I feel like, when I wrote those, he was one character I didn’t really understand well enough to properly handle. Nowadays, I think I’d do a few things differently…but I digress. Vil is based on the Evil Queen, and he lives up to his predecessor well. He is vain, without question, but it isn’t a vanity usually played up for comedy: just like the Queen, Vil is cold and authoritative, not easily fazed by fear or agitated worry. He keeps a stiff upper lip, presenting himself with poise and elegance that virtually no one at Night Raven can surpass. Even when he is overcome with emotion, he tries to rein it all in. All of this is a well-sculpted mask to hide his personal insecurities and professional stresses. Vil is one of the few major characters in the cast with a big job to do outside of the school: he’s a CELEBRITY, and a multi-talented one, at that. He’s a skilled actor, singer, dancer, model, photographer, costume and makeup designer, beautician, AND director of both film and theatre. Top it off with martial arts skills, a talent for poisons and potion making, and the fact he somehow juggles all of that ON TOP of trying to attend a prestigious college and keep his grades in the upper ranks…and I think it’s fair to say Vil is the definition of an absolute unit. But despite all his success and all his accomplishments, hiding under his painted lips and flowing robes, Vil has personal esteem issues he tries to keep tucked out of sight. He’s just as paradoxical and fascinating as his source material, and a wonderful reinvention of the Evil Queen in his own right.

12. Ace Trappola.

It was difficult to decide who would rank higher/lower between Ace and Deuce. These two are the MC’s best friends in the game, and as such, they’re pretty prominent figures throughout the entire run. They have some part to play, to varying degrees of size, in every chapter of the Main Story, and they appear quite frequently in the various Events that branch off of the same. Because we spend so much time with them, we know more about them than a lot of other characters, and they often help to act as voices of advice (sometimes good, sometimes bad) for the player. Ace lost the battle, but do not misconstrue that to mean I dislike him. Ace is a cunning trickster who is skilled in sleight-of-hand magic tricks, and is an expert card player. In direct contrast, however, Ace is also a person who lacks what might be called a “shut up filter.” He always speaks his mind, without hesitation or holding back, very rarely trying to sugarcoat or hide anything. Even when he tries to be a bit more crafty and weasel his way through things, he usually gets caught. You might say that Ace is a person who starts fights, while Deuce is a person who simply chooses to try and finish them.

PART TWO: TBA

[cowboycharmac]

(okay reposting bc tumblr autosave deleted a lot of my post </3 rip) on a slightly more depressing note do you ever think about how terrible mac is at taking care of things specifically in a parental context and get so sad because i do. mac as a person isnt inherently bad at taking care of things, he's fairly good at taking care of dennis (although his own insecurities and paranoias do negatively impact the relationship) and from what we see in the show he does the majority of homemaking work in the macden household and is generally pretty good at taking care of their apartment (unless it's on fire). but as soon as he reframes a relationship as a parental one he cant seem to figure it out.

the most obvious example of this is when he and dee take care of D.B/dumpster baby. now, character conflict is pretty par for the course for shows doing the "two characters adopt a baby" trope. however, in most shows ive seen it done, the progression is typically slower and/or more natural, from either a disparity in labour between maternal and paternal figures (often with the paternal figure slowly checking out and doing less and less work), or from one character being shoved into a role they didnt want. "the gang finds a dumpster baby" uses both of these, but what makes it interesting to me is how quickly and deliberately mac incites that conflict.

he seems eager and excited to take care of the baby and volunteers immediately, but as soon as he and dee get home from baby shopping he shoves everything off on her and becomes emotionally distant and angry when she tries to ask for help. this change in attitude is sudden and seemingly brought about by nothing in particular, he hasnt yet experienced anything that might make him realize that taking care of a baby is actually a pretty demanding job that he might not be interested in, and to me, at least, it doesnt read like he's genuinely annoyed at her or rejecting his self imposed paternal role. instead, he's still just play acting at what he thinks fatherhood should look like. he's still trying to give D.B his version of a "biblical" nuclear family, like he says he wants to when he pressures dee into taking on the maternal role, but he's using his own parents as a model for this and deliberately recreating the toxic environment he grew up in because he thinks that's how you're meant to raise a child.

it's also really interesting to me that he chose dee for this. mac and dee don't team up a lot, and when they do, it's typically because everyone else is off doing something else. sure, he's adamant that D.B needs to be raised by a man and a woman, and dee is the only woman in the gang, but he doesn't even consider trying to find D.B a mom outside of the gang.

given how he seems repulsed by dee in both a romantic and sexual context and in a nuclear family the dynamic between the mother and father is typically both, and given their platonic dynamic is strained as it is, this is odd. there are plenty of single women in philadelphia, and there are other women in mac's own life he gets along with a lot better (and who do/would make better mothers), like carmen (who hes on good enough terms with that they engage in a relationship just a bit later in the season).

to me it seems like he chose someone like dee, who he doesn't get along with very well, who has both anger and emotional intimacy issues, and who emphatically rejects motherhood when he thrusts it upon her, not because he thinks she's his only option, but because shes the person he thinks is most likely to behave like his own mother in that position. (little bit of gay mac meta here, it also feels like maybe he chose a woman he had a distinctly platonic dynamic with and who wouldnt expect anything else from him so as to avoid needing to have a sexual or romantic relationship with his female partner in this constructed family)

theres also of course the dynamic between dennis jr, mac, and dennis in mac and dennis move to the suburbs. admittedly this one is a lot less interesting to me because the parallels to his own parents are less intentional on mac's part, however i do have some thoughts about it. here, he takes on the maternal role. dennis, from his own and the audiences perspective, isnt helping "raise" dennis jr at all and isnt really involved here. however, from macs perspective, dennis is taking on a paternal role, not necessarily because of, but also not in spite of the fact that he's away for most of the day, emotionally distant, and doesnt seem to be helping take care of or even interacting with dennis jr on a regular basis.

granted, mac isn't taking care of dennis jr either. despite seeming excited to "raise [the dog] like [his and dennis'] own son", he's despondent and neglectful, much like his own mother, and dennis jr. starves to death. from what we see of his mother on the tape from mac's childhood in "a very sunny christmas", she, like mac, wasn't always dull. although we dont really see her interact with mac and i have no doubt that she was a subpar mother and person for all of mac childhood (she is more than complicit in the robbing of peoples homes in this same episode), she has more normal emotional responses to things like receiving a gift, and she appears to genuinely like luther. i dont think its too much of a stretch to assume that she, like mac, let her emotional issues with an absent or distant partner interfere with her role as a parent. the only difference is that mac, unlike dennis jr, is a human child who is presumably old enough to do the bare minimum to keep himself alive by the time she checks out.

anyways sorry this post kind of got away from me. it just makes me so sad. mac wants to be a parent but he has no real frame of reference for that, he wants so badly to take care of something but he cant help neglecting it because to him it seems normal that parents shouldnt need to take care of their child, that children should have to care of themselves. hes so adamant that his relationship with his parents is normal, healthy, and loving that he'll ruin even a pale mimicry of a family trying to recreate it.

[nostalgia-tblr]

I finished watching that Avengers film (Avengers Assemble, as it may or may not still be titled in this region)!

First up, I must warn anyone new to the MCU via the same route as myself that THERE IS NOT A SINGLE ALLIGATOR IN THIS MOVIE. Furthermore, Loki is played by A MAN for the entire ten hours that this film runs. Though actually this isn't as disappointing as it sounds, he's probably the most entertaining character in it and if nothing else the endless fucking fight scenes usually pause for a moment or two while one of the heroes confronts him verbally. (And then the fight starts again, but it was a nice respite anyway.)

I don't know how I feel about this film because there's certainly the basis of an entertaining action-film-with-jokes in here but that film is, alas, about an hour shorter than the actual movie. I generally have a low tolerance for fight scenes and this film could be not unfairly described as one interminable fight/action scene (with occasional Loki Interludes). I hadn't even seen that much of this film via tumblr gifs already, which makes me think it's not that beloved? Many scenes were just too long, like when the Avengers were all bitching at each other (I get it already, they're fighting!) and the bit where Thor and Iron Man and then Captain Steve level a forest together went on long past the point where I was thinking "if Loki HASN'T just fucked off while they were fighting then I'm gonna assume getting captured is his actual plan" (it was!). Because srsly he must have sat there patiently waiting for them to finish, perhaps dreaming of a better life in which he was an alligator.

Anyway, they were on a flying aircraft-carrier (NOT the Valiant from Dr Who just exactly like it), and then it crashed except no it didn't, and then we were in New York and they were going to nuke the city except no they didn't. To be honest I'm not sure what the plot actually was beyond "everyone wants the MacGuffin Tesseract for some reason." I don't know why we were in Germany other than so that one German guy could spot Obvious Fascist Rantings in a movie about *checks notes* the United States assembling a force of almost unkillable fighters who act on their own authority and can do as they like because we know they're good people who will always act in the interests of America the world. (In fairness I think this alarming set-up is the plot of a later - or possibly earlier? - Captain America film that I know I've seen but remember nothing from.)

Speaking of, did they cut a bunch of stuff out about Steve America having a crisis about America and the fucked up shit it's got up to? He seemed to be having a sad about that but then he didn't any more, though I admit I could have missed him having an important epiphany of some sort during the endless, endless, endless violence. SO MUCH VIOLENCE. And I am genuinely not sure who caused more damage in the final fight hour sequence between the Bad Aliens and the Avengers. I suppose that's why they keep mentioning that battle in every following Marvel work?

AND OH YEAH PHIL DIED. Phil, who was besties with all the Avengers, even the ones he met five minutes before he died. Everyone was VERY broken up about Phil dying, and he (and some carefully-bloodied trading cards) was the spark that ignited the Avengers by dying. See, Loki's mistake was killing Phil! Killing all those other people was fine though. They didn't even have names, let alone trading cards (bloody or otherwise)!

Have I mentioned that this was quite a long film? I am trying to repeat myself a lot in this 'review' so as to evoke a feeling in the reader akin to the experience of watching people hit each other and things blow up over and over and over again. Because I am an artiste, an auteur, a very tired audience. But Steve was quite good, whether or not he had an arc, and Thor's always entertaining. Tony Stark I strongly dislike for a number of reasons. The Hulk is at least green (and Bruce's angst was weirdly relatable given that his problem is turning green on occasion). Arrows Hawkeye and the Black Widow are (I think) the Canonical M/F Pairing, having bonded together in the unspecified backstory and then further brought together by being the Avengers with the least exciting powers. (Projectile weaponry? Groundbreaking!) And somehow her outfit has a tit-window despite not having a tit-window. But don't worry, she also got called a cunt so this is THE MOST feminist film you can possibly imagine! No wonder it took everyone so long to see through Joss Whedon's bullshit!

Then it ended. At last. I did actually have a break in the New York hour of the fight scene because all the camera movements and close-up violence were making me dizzy. That wasn't fun. But I'd watch and enjoy an hour-long edit of this film, probably. The sad thing is that the interesting parts, where the camera more or less stays still for an entire shot, are likely the bits that were most cut down by the studio to allow the fight scenes room to breathe.

Also, in finishing, I would like to draw attention to this dude at the Posh People Gathering in Germany, whose collar and tie combo is APPALLING and DREADFUL and I think Loki should have murdered him for that alone.

[dungeonsandkobolds]

I was standoffish, sorry, but it was a genuine question. Like. I understand getting Vibes about a certain sexuality from someone, whatever. But I don't really get how some personality traits are cool if you're not straight but irritating if you are. That just seems like stereotyping to me.

Yeah that's fair! That's why I gave the two options - it's always good to re-read over things you send for tone before they're sent off. And I do apologise for assuming it wasn't a genuine question, I'm (unfortunately) used to some amount of bad faith comments here on tumblr

So in the post I made there were 3 characters essentially who I said it them being straight would make sense to me (or at least more sense than Morrigan) - Alistair who is straight and I think that's fair of the game, Leliana (who's bi in the game) and Zevran (who's also bi)

Out of these 3 characters Zevran being straight is the only character who I would find to be more annoying if he was straight - Alistair is straight and I think he's a great character, and if Leliana was straight I don't think it would make much of a difference to how I view her (I would be sad that she's not an option for my female PC though)

Keep in mind that in the game as is, when he's bi, Zevran's my absolute favourite character and currently is the character that my mage PC is romancing. I think Zevran's a delight. I also haven't played through the full game yet so some of this might turn out differently when I've finished it

It's just that his personality would read quite differently if he was straight - instead of being a cheeky, sarcastic guy who's interested in all forms of pleasure (the game implies that he just really likes sex as a pleasurable act), if he was straight that would make him fall into the womanzier trope. Instead of being a guy who likes sex and talks about it a lot, he'd read more to me as a guy who's constantly after women.

It's not being straight that would make him annoying - it's really that his character is quite flirtation focused and there's a difference to me between being a flirty person all around (think I'll try anything once vibes) vs a guy whose constantly chatting up women.

You're more than welcome to disagree with this reading differently/making him more annoying - but it's not the straightness that would make him annoying to me. I think you've also mentioned he'd have the same personality but just be straight but tbh given how flirtatious the character is, I think his sexuality is a fairly big part of his character.

Hopefully I've expressed my thoughts on this in a way that makes sense?

[detective-piplup]

look at him. not one thought behind those eyes.

anyway that image is the nwos spoilers equivalent of sfw sasuke. the spoilers are all under the cut in case anyone’s avoiding it:

PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE LACK OF 2D CUTSCENES A LOT WHICH. I see why they’re worried but it is too early to be so quick to jump the gun on that. but even if we lack them?? these 3D ones looks GREAT

I spent five minutes rewatching the same damn sequence. look how good this looks. It’s so good. I’m normal im normal im normal

we saw a lot of cotton eye hoe (it’s been a day now, we can slutshame the ghost) in yesterday’s trailer but GODDDDD he looks super good here as well! my bet is currently on eggmuffin having something to do with him, and maybe GKJ over here is a hologram of some sort? It would kinda fit with the progress theme, but I struggle to see why eggmuffin would want to stop progress if he’s such a good inventor, so that’s a very loose theory. I am very curious about the fact that the entire, densely populated area seemed to not notice Joe when we did, but he is at least known about. Shrugs

as always the music is so good. I wonder if anyone’s able to get a full version of the bg track for some of these areas yet. Probably not but a boy can dream. it’s Layton music, it’s going to be good.

And I noticed that there’s no dialouge sprites. Which is sad, very sad really, but it does make me the slightest bit worried. I do love the look of the new dialouge bits though, it looks WAY better than it did in the 2023 vision (see below)

anyway for my last thoughts (aka a crackpot theory as to what’s going on with Luke):

while it’s infinitely funnier to think Luke is genuinely just scared of ghosts (I mean. ik LS didn’t have any actual ghosts but can you blame him after that one), this is NOT what a boy who is scared of ghosts seems like. He was so willing to go to Eggmuffin’s, and then he suddenly wants to back out after seeing Joe? suspicious.

I have NOT forgotten this level-5. what did you mean here. what was Luke running from when he grabbed Layton off the side of the road. And given his general unawareness of Kingslinger over here (shown in the first image below), it can’t have been Joe he was running from. Now, you could say that it was changed later in development from what we saw in the 2023 trailer, but Layton says “Can you now tell me why you called me here?” (second image). implying that Luke didn’t tell him before, therefore yeah that trailer’s probably still accurate

So, unless Luke called Layton here out to investigate a rumour he’d heard with no actual sightings from himself, there’s every chance that Luke called Layton here for a different reason. Nothing is set in stone of course, but my gut tells me that there is SOMETHING going on with Luke. so. keep an eye out, maybe my jokes about Clark being missing will be correct after all.

OVERALL HOLY SHIT IM SO EXCITED. LIKE BEYOND HYPED. say what you will about the 3D cutscenes, they looks STUNNING to me. I love how expressive Luke is with his stupid little bug eyes, it’s so fun. Layton looks a bit sunburnt but it’s okay that happens to British people when we go to different countries. OH AND COINDAR IS MY FAVE THING YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW HAPPY I AM THAT THEY’RE USING THIS OPPORTUNITY TO LEAN INTO LUKE’S EXPERTISE WITH MACHINERY (see coindar and the walker even if people use those more. still). we should let him have machines .

my one big question is if there will be an English audio? I hope there is. please. can we know the English VAs esp for Luke please please :33

look at him. that is my son. this is probably gonna end up as my tumblr icon in the next day. look at him.

amazing news

this lovely channel uploaded gameplay of the demo already

[satans-arse-crack]

Hey my lovely tumblr blog thing, how ya doing 😏

It has been ages since I’ve like said anything on here like a solid couple of months I think. I just wanted to come here and vent for a little cause there’s a lot of shit going on and I don’t know how to feel about it. I know that nobody is ever going gonna read this but it’s kinda just my way of getting shit out yk. If anyone happens to come across this and actually read it then good for your ig 😭 (none of this is gonna make sense which is my it is a random ramble) anyways onto the rambling 😗✌🏻

-Here’s some music to listen to ❤️-

These past couple of months have been overwhelming to say the least. My PlayStation account keeps getting banned for no reason. I had I strange clash with a girl I used to be friends with and all her little pals, it wasn’t a fun interaction to say the least

School is stressing me out to the max and I have no clue what I’m going to do

My friends are really starting to annoy me but I can’t do anything about it. I wish I could drop them but 1) I have no other friends cause they are my only ones 2) I feel extremely guilty even thinking about that

My online friend has really been causing me the most idk stress, anxiety, upset? Idk how to put it. He’s just been such an asshole for the past like 2 months and it’s getting on my nerves. I got really close to him and for ages I used to get like upset or anxious if he didn’t reply to me (I think I’ve got some kind of anxious attachment or something, it’s some kind of anxiety) but honestly for the past couple of weeks and especially at the start of the month he was just such an ass that it honestly gave me so much of an ick I started not to care anymore.

Speaking of that friend OHHHHHHHHH HAS HE BEEN SUCH AN ARSE ABOUT EVERYTHING. Basically I had tried to explain to this boy about how and why I seem to get anxious or upset when he doesn’t message me back or seems dry, and the mf started to use that shit againt me as a joke. Now I introduced my online friend to my irl friend at the start of November right. And they kinda clash but there seems to be no hard feelings, well sometimes when he decides he want to clash with her he sometimes brings me into it. Sometimes he’ll bring up stuff to make fun of me (shit I told him in serious conversations in full confidence) like he’s brought up the fact that I cry a lot, the fact that I get upset when he doesn’t message me, the fact I have no other friends. The list goes on for ever

This friend also constantly mentions how he doesn’t wanna be friends with me anymore, how he hates talking to me, how he can’t wait to get rid of me. It’s confusing, if he hates me so much then why does he always invite me to ps parties, why does he sometimes message me when shit happens with his family like??

Also I know this friend has constantly lied to me in the past and it’s now pissing me off

I just can’t with people anymore they stress me out so much

Half of me wishes I could go the rest of my life is solitude but the other half hates being alone

Another thing, I feel so genuinely alone, I have no one to talk to, no one checks up on me, no one seems to make an effort to talk to me. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t remember the last time I had a friend check up on me and be like “hey are you doing ok”

And if I’m being honest I don’t know what my answer would be cause I’m not doing ok at all, I have no motivation or energy to do anything anymore, Im scared im slowly loosing interest in my hobby. I’m scared I’m pushing people away. I don’t know if I’m depressed or just sad .

I’m just sitting here and waiting for some good luck and fortune to come my way

I’m honestly considering starting a journal, just to write in when I feel this way or just any time I wish. Someplace to get my feelings out when it’s needed. I might go into town in the next couple of days and see if I can find a nice journal somewhere

It feels nice to do this, feels like I’m talking to someone almost. Although no one will see this and I’ll never get a response it’s nice yk

I’m typing this on my phone and my thumb hurts really bad for no reason 😭

Anyways I’m gonna leave it here, might go off and cry or I might go try and sleep who knows. Also happy late Christmas 🎄😁

Buh bye 🤭🥰