#it gave my eyes some rest.
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.......why is tumblr desktop laid out like twitter now.
#tumblr staff i am begging#this isn't a big change and like. it's. *fine*. but. i don't appreciate what it possibly foretells.#we can't make fun of twitter and then unironically steal their look ok.#this looks so cluttered#i miss my dead blue space on the left.#it gave my eyes some rest.
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new posca colors let’s gooooo
trying them out on some different paper with some quick little dudes inspired by @eredhes ‘s lovely clay cave horses
#the black marker spits SO bad and while it is occasionally a nice effect it is not great when doing lines#it gave these guys some cute freckles while doing the eyes but i went over it bc it clashed too bad with the rest#my art
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Treasured Treats
@jojo-schmo
#Still recovering from everything (thank you for the kind words everyone!) but I had nothing else to upload for Halloween#That and this idea was so sweet I wanted to be involved!#(After sixth months Noir finally has a -single- meal...!)#That's a senbei rice cracker cookie he's eating btw - Noir likes warm drinks and relatively bland and simple food#(For some off the cuff lore... his mom probably gave him some to eat on the shuttle from the New World > Shiver Star)#(As they were on the run at the time 'airplane snacks' was likely the best she could offer her hungry confused son...)#(...But Noir would surely remember the taste of the simple rice crackers he had that day very fondly)#Still... when a man cries over a single rice cracker you know he's lived a rough life XD#(Random Dess Lore: This was the first thing my host family gave me after the worst plane trip of -my- life)#Noir Fontaine#Dess Art Post#cw: blood#(well it's a nosebleed but still)#Really need to stop drawing and rest my hand/eye...#But I wanted to do something a little cute and fun first!
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Utterly Defeated (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#<Sticking to my tag so they're all together ♥#Dexter Favin#Max Vyer#But really that's ZEX in there! What's left of him anyway ;;#ZEX#Hhhhhhh it was so goooood and saaaaad <3 <3#Helix is a tragedy - on repeat in my mind ad infinitum#I made most of these upon initially reading - and then I had to sit on them through all of October!! Can you imagine the impatience??#I've been absolutely chomping at the bit for these hhhhh feelings!!! So many!!! Max's eyes and ZEX being behind his single remaining ;;#Dex wanting him to be safe and knowing he used to and now he can't offer it anymore I jifdsahfdjsaf#Have I mentioned I love them lately I love them <3 <3 All of them! Dex and Max and ZEX! And DAX I'm sure ZEX misses him so badly#In a way it was good that I had a bit more time to set it down and come back - I reread it very recently hehe <3#I still get teary at some scenes ah </3 It's so beautifully sad#But it also gave me some time to finish ZEX starting to shape the word ''Max'' and then back off it ahhhh it hurts!!#The rest were at least all lined at the time - came back in to tone some recently but they were all ''finished'' October 1st ah#Especially of Dex waking ZEX to call him by his title hhh they both just want peace so badly but it looks so different to both of them#Lingering on his scar and then carding through his hair <3 Comfort and softness and it's all not enough#His scar is quite fun to draw as well ah - scars tend to be like that haha ♪ The stitches and discolouration give it a unique look!#And the way his hair pulls back from it ah#I had a lot of fun with his hair hiding his bandaged eye as well - just barely peeking out always just enough of a reminder#And all his lying-down poses - his hair is fun to pose like that as well#One of the original Landel doodles of ZEX talking about what Hell would look like for a VUX really struck me as well#Dex can't help him in so many ways ehn </3 He wants to! But he wants Max and he just can't have him anymore#Hhhh it was such a good read <3 <3 <3 Thank you again to Zarla it really made and still makes me happy to read it ahhh ♥♪#Now that I've (finally!) gotten my thoughts out I can read the other!! Yay!!
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my research partner and i are huddled in a blanket in paddington waiting for a too-late train i already miss you and you and you
#he keeps falling asleep almost on my shoulder and waking up and readjusting but i want to tell him its ok weve seen a lot#of each other ive seen your brainwaves you called me crying a few nights ago. research partner right now is a potentiality#friend is a certainty. i met a banker passionate about finance. he said his advice made the lives of others better and he likes the numbers#more than he likes anything else. on a high rise near canary wharf the view was wonderful and the people even moreso#he said i loved her but i spent 33 grand on her and i cant do this anymore. his voice cracked talking about her. he did love her.#and she talked softly she grabbed my hand she bought me a pack of Marlborough gold she told me to snap#the russian menthol cigarettes of the tortured polish man near us with my teeth i kept staring at her teeth#bright white and sharp. i couldnt find her heartbeat but i did find warmth and i did find her lips and i did feel#how she felt pressed against a wall. a pretty boy held my hand and i gave him my number. i couldnt stop smiling about her no matter#how many runways youve walked on how many collections youve designed how many students youve taught. senior lecturer teaches me how to do#very unethical things ethically over a double shot of vodka made by the half-persian with broken farsi. she talks softly#and she says her eyes are hazel but they appear a shade of red. pure gold on her hands and leather on her back and her fingers on my lips#(she talks softly sees through me she says something i cant hear but i wont forget the way she flies) she talked to my research partner#about the possibility of moving to sunny dubai with the rest of her family and my heart felt pierced. on her arm i traces a tattoo of a#knife passing through a rose. she told me she thought there was romance in severing so i kissed her some more.#he sat me down and asked me what i loved and i told him and he said no romance no person no tragedy will take that from you.#the room was filled with a collection of people in love with something that wasnt a person and i kept looking at her.#red eyes bitten jawline beautiful hands. it is 3 degrees Celsius my head is on his shoulder i miss my friends#we walked out the lecture hall with arms linked a photo of two years ago and we both said#jesus christ. i miss you all. and i miss logic metatheory lectures. im glad i get to stare at the depth of your eyes#i wish i had met you years ago.#crushposting
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i dont rly wanna make any of these individual posts so! heres a whole lot of assorted stuff from recently!!!!
#hfjone#liam plecak#since hes in like. most of these#uhhhh i wont tag the rest tho#esp since some of these r a bit inpolished#also ft my hc siblings for liam in one of these :)#my art#eye strain#angel imagery#ask to tag#also its SO obvious ive been wanting to draw the waiting room a lot#and that ive been experimenting w my art#also my friend gave me like one of those monthly art prompt lists and i used it for a few of these#(the 2nd 3rd and 4th+5th ones)#also i couldnt decide which bg i liked better on the stone one#but ya! here are images :)
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Having to micromanage your entire physical battery day in and day out is so exhausting, especially when your ability fluctuates without rhyme or reason with every single day. I'm starting to have to reframe how I view and tackle my task lists because otherwise the grief and frustration becomes so much that I get nothing done. I'd love to complete the entire list today, but I'm gonna have to limit myself to ticking off two tasks just so I don't burn myself out to the point of being unable to do anything later...
#and even then thats no guarantee since i could feel super sick later without warning#OR maybe i feel superdupergood and can do them all no problem and THEN some#but then i also have to prepare for being bedridden after if i dont keep track of how much energy i burn#the event horizon of which ALSO changes daily lmfao#meanwhile people assume youre lucky or even privileged for this#as if being homebound for your safetys sake and spending most of the time being unable to really do anything#is anything worth envying. people assume youre resting when frankly youre just keeping your face above the water#i dont have a choice either. i gave up all my dreams and ambitions just for the sake of trying to survive for once#i WANT to have a life i WANT to have the power to be independent and not be at the mercy of others until the day i die#god sorry URGH its so hard to not feel sad and hopeless and almost bitter about this sometimes#its so hard not to feel alienated and embarrassed by the fact that you practically live in a different reality to people#people whose lives revolve around careers and working to the point where they cant comprehend you as a disabled individual#and what that means beyond the assumption that being chronically ill and overall impaired is a choice and moral failire#whether or not people are aware of that baseline assumption concretely#and i feel stupid and annoying for whining about this when i have so much to be grateful for#just. guhhhhhhhhh idfk. i SHOULD get started here but i can barely move out of bed#exhaustion is killing me i miss going on daily walks my house feels like a prison#i need to stop moping im already spiralling lmfao#trying not to close my eyes lest i pass out yet again despite having gotten more than 12 hours of sleep#cause apparently to my stupid body thats not enough to even stand up#silvi talks
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/// health anxiety tw
when you know the best thing to do is "lay down in the dark with your eyes closed and wait for your meds to kick in" but you start getting paranoid because what if this time you just. die. (no it doesn't have to make sense)
#nurse b#(she's the one who gave me that specific phobia... thanks)#plus I'm bad at keeping my thoughts from racing when I'm just laying down in the dark#these are meds for my pain and not sleep so hopefully we leave the house soon and I can distract myself#I wanted to buy some things today#but anyway yeah I never know what to do during headaches or migraines#I know screens are bad but the severity level differs so sometimes I can tolerate screens and distract my mind?#especially since the doctor said anxiety/stress makes things worse?#but shit I think I really do need to rest my eyes#hurts... ugh
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first art post of the new year!!! granted, i don't share my art here that much anyway, but– shhh.
hehehehhhooo,, here's something i've been working on for 'bout a month,, albeit not consecutively– took a few,, very very long breaks in between working on this,, but i managed to finish it in the end! am i satisfied with it? .......ehhhh? not completely, but if this took any longer, it might not have seen the light of day, so like. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
anyway,, made a little poster for my favorite fic, tommyinnit's services for villains, vigilantes, and various other vagabonds, by @scorpionoesit!!! it's really really good,,, and i've always wanted to make more art for it,, so i decided– poster! at least,, that's what it's mean to resemble,,, dkdmkdmdkd.
i will freely admit,, i'm... not the biggest fan of the fan-made logo i tried to design for it,, feels a bit boring, and could definitely have used a bit more pizazz, something to make feel more like the fic itself(what does that mean? you figure that out),,,, but– again, steam was running low,, dkdnksjs. graphic design is my passion. i do also have other complaints, but i'm afraid i already punched my one-use self-critique card,, oh well,,, dkdnkxjdkd.
regardless,, even with the flaws only i can really see,, this still turned out pretty okay!! hope you enjoy it, mx. scorpio and mx. alibi!!! and i hope everyone else has a wonderful new year!!!!
#my art#dream smp#services for vagabonds#tommyinnit fanart#tommyinnit#i don't wanna try tagging the rest of them so i'm just not gonna <3#anyway wrow i wonder who the skull guy and mysterious shadowy figure are....... could be anyone.#i was gonna try and fit in some sort of hero so i could check all the dots of everyone tommy's help#specifically either dr**m (derogatory) or phil#(was mostly leaning towards phil)#but 1) couldn't figure out a way to make it look good with the current set up#my first thought was to try moving the current characters around a bit; but then it would feel too crowded#my second thought was to have them appear from the smoke; somehow? a smoky figure?#but that only really looked good in sketch form and i didn't have the patience to figure that out properly#and 2) no clue what their designs look like. don't even know what their powers are; yet!#was also wanting to fit fundy in but it didn't work for the first reason#fun rapid fire character design facts: niki has a littol sharp tooth 'cause of the joker stuff!#i originally gave tubbo green eyes;; but i decided blue-green looked cooler#tech– [cough] i mean;; *orion's* cloak has a faint lil orion pattern on can barely see it but it's there i assure you !!!#(i tried my best for his design but i am. not the greatest at outfits;; especially hero/villain ones)#tommy has long hair bc it's *MY* art and *I* say he gets long hair. this definitely isn't canon to vagabonds i just like to do this#<- also why michael and tommy have freckles#tommy has a bit of green in his design(through the patch) due to a theory of mine :D#might have over-rendered the hair a bit but. fuck you i like it#anyway i think that's all i have to say about it? if you've actually read all these tags;;; have a cookie -> 🍪#pretend it's a peanut butter cookie#actually. no pretend it's both. you get two cookies. as a treat.#anyway have a good rest-of-your-day !!!!!!
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Of course when I’m not even trying for an Astarion romance I’m SWIMMING in getting his romance scenes. Honestly, I don’t think I had two of them on my first run!
I love Astarion, he’ll forever be my bbg and the loml but I’m trying to do a Gale romance and I find myself going ‘WHAT DO YOU WANT’ whenever Astarion needs to tell me something lol
#shitpost#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion#astarion ancunin#lol#like please sir I wasn’t even choosing dialogue options that I thought you’d like#if anything#my approval rating is higher NOW than before!#Sorry but this really is a vampire boyfriend dating simulator#this game is killing me#To be honest I kind of wish that this WAS my Astarion romance because how this is all playing out feels more natural#like#I turned down Astarion twice before the Tiefling party#then at the party I got that line about him not liking feeling like a hero#then it was pretty flirty and I made him say please#then I met him later and had vavoom#then when I was in the Underdark and long rested there he gave me that line where he’s like ‘here’s my little treat with their cheeks#… all flushed’#and he asked me if I was going to bed with him#and I told him maybe some other time#then he said he’d be yearning for me until I was ready#then I got the mirror scene and told him he had a sharp smile#dangerous eyes#but wasn’t as good as Gale#AND HE APPROVED#he said he needed to get his beauty sleep if he wanted to#catch up with the competition#THIS SUCKS ASS I LOVE ASTARION SO MUCH BUT IM REALLY TRYING FOR MAGIC MAN#and my approval is EXCEPTIONAL for Gale and only very good for Astarion
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So funny. My family has a history of thyroid issues so I knew it would get to me one day. The day came and some thyroid levels are high. I text my dad a picture of the results and I jokingly ask which meds he's taking so that we can be thyroid twins. My dad says "girl my thyroid results are different, idk what these are". So that's cool
#evelyn stuff#it's nothing serious and the rest of my results are stellar but it will be a bit funny to me#if MY thyroid decides to follow the generational curse but just a bit different#doc said that it could be hashimoto's but to follow up with an endocrinologist to be sure#also funny. i was like 'idk i dont have any hashimoto symptoms'#i started reading the list and my girlfriend gave me such a side eye. ok maybe i have some#blogging at 27 means just blogging about the onset of your health issues i guess. more at 7
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I’m way too tired for this kinda brainrot, especially if the rot makes a guy dig around in my brain
#my art stuff#house#gregory house#dr house#sketch#sketches#doodles#traditional art#I absolutely HATE drawing people#no not portraits or the kinda stuff that’s just copying life#I can do that easy peasy#I hate drawing CARICATURES of real people#I can more easily if I see art of them for me to reference in some way#but making my own caricatures for people? freaks me the fuck out#I hated drawing these. …but I feel compelled to draw more cus they look really good to me fsr?????#I really like the shapes I gave him and it has nothing to do with how animated he is in contrast to his deadpan resting face#or his piercing eyes or his general scraggly scrung appearance#and it has NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with him being a doctor#I’m not gay you are.#…totally not gay. not at all…#nope…..#AHEM ANYWAYS-#don’t judge them too hard#drawing real people scares me cus I constantly feel like I can never do them justice in my style#feel like there’s noo many opportunities for me to do it “wrong”#too*#i really like these designs but my brain screams at me that somebody who’s studied his face longer will give me shit over something random#or something idk#anyways it’s way past my bedtime cus my PC’s wireless internet driver thing got fucked up again and the stress is keeping me up#I should try to sleep instead of staying up with gay doctor fantasies or whatever
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i am. still just so glad i got out of teen wolf when the cast started falling apart. like season three was such a shitshow from day one and made me INSANE as it was airing and i just could not continue to watch for season four after they killed off or wrote off essentially half the cast and killed all the found family potential and i will admit!!! that seeing crystal reed herself on a new teen wolf story DID tempt me!!!! i am only human!!!! i am not immune to allison argent!!!! but truly i know myself and i know that the show died a horrible death for me over the course of s3 and there’s a lot of good reasons i stopped watching it and those reasons will sustain me through my decision to not watch this new movie
all that said. @ my loyal six followers. please do not be alarmed if i end up temporarily in a teen wolf revival moment. i am not immune to allison argent and the nostalgia of it all DOES make me want to go back and reread all the old classic pack fics from before davis decided to start killing kids left and right !!! i am not immune to the powerful energy of sterek writers, nor to the call of pack-fics!!!!
#d speaks#teen wolf#god. teen fucking wolf#y’all know that when they killed erica i was mad but was like whatever that’s not a REAL death she can come back. i can ignore it. and then#they massacred my boy(d)…….. and i was in PAIN. but i thought to myself. it’s okay. i need to see what theyre doing. where they are going#and then. then they kicked motherfucking allison argent#and i KNOW! i know okay that it was crystal’s choice to leave!!! and yes i loved kira!!! but!!!!!#i was seventeen okay!!!! and they killed off one of the three MAIN CGARACTERS !!!!! in a stupid little mtv show!!!!!#i was not emotionally or mentally equipped to deal with that!!!! i genuinely MOURNED in the realest way y’all!!!!#my high school friends were concerned because i spent a week in like. a fugue state. like a zombie as if someone i actually knew had died#(yes i was mentally ill in high school and WHAT ABOUT IT?!?)#and at that point the show died for me. i couldn’t handle it#and some of the tw blogs i followed kept watching and going and i sort of peripherally experienced some of the new pack shit but just#could not make myself care for new baby characters when they Massacred My Boys………#so i stepped out!!! cause i was happy for a while there to continue to just exist in that happy part of the fandom that said ‘nah fuck it.’#‘solely post s2 aus here’. that shit was great#but then the more time passed the less fics like that came out and the more the fandom moved on….. onto the NEW plot…… and i Could Not Hang#and so teen wolf in my eyes was laid to rest like all the teenagers of color in the show#and now you come to me paramount plus. years later. when i am an ADULT with a fully developed prefrontal cortex#and you tell me. that allison argent is alive????? that you gave derek hale a child????? no#no you cannot and will not trick me into this. i will not watch it. i pretend i do not see it#however. i MAY end up rereading some of my classic fave fics. reblogging some old art. i am but a mere mortal#hearing tyler posey say ‘allison???’ DID hit me in my stomach. it did. i am weak#tw
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Trying to figure out designs for funtime William!
What I want and what SL design conventions allow are two very different things bdksndks
I'm having a funtime with it though
#Bxksndks#rest in w.i.p#no matter what option i choose he still will be wearing a suit on top. so it doesn't rly matter bfksndks#eye contact#<-just in case#no id#i gave him the springtrap clown shoes#having some silly fun w an au thats devastating to thing abt#animatronic will. much like charile. doesn't even KNOW that hes a robot#he just knows that his good friend henry suddenly cant stand to look at him :(#i Could go for funtime!will doesn't have any memories of living william. but wheres the fun in that#original will died in a sprinlock failure btw#OUGH#OG WILL POSSESSING SPRINGBONNIE#just sorta watching the drama unfold#btw hi jack how dare you encourage my au shenanigans /lh#<3 <3 <3#didn't bother drawing will when he looks like a person in this doodle set. but robot will prefers to wear suits n maybe ties
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I can’t stop drawing tiny Watchdogs (Patreon)
#Doodles#Wander Over Yonder#Commander Peepers#Watchdog#Newsflash: They are all tiny#They're such perfect spacefillers I swear <3 <3 <3 No hells boxes here#They're all basically just stick figures with eyes in place of the head lol what more could I ask for#Or in the case of Fist Fighters then the obvious lol#Even if I do also already have some stick figures that I enjoy lol - they keep the page on-theme! Very important! Haha#Gave a go to a regular Watchdog to go with my Fist Fighter and hmmm yes this feels attainable lol - just gotta give 'em both names#They are very cute and sweet ♥#An actual full-style(? Full WOY style? Lol) for Peepers and a regular Watchdog!#Although afterwards I looked and I'm. Hm. There's conflicting information out there and I'm not sure what to believe#On the wiki he's listed as being shorter than most other Watchdogs but I did a quick screenshot comparison in The It and he was taller??#Not just taller - his eye was bigger - and I accounted for distance! The regular Watchdog was in front of him by just a few inches!#It's inconsistent enough for me to argue either way honestly#And all that not counting what Wander does to his shoes lol so all in all he's probably Slightly taller than the Watchdogs with his shoes on#Not counting special members like Moose or the Drill Sergeant - and definitely not Westley he's super tiny haha#Honestly surprised Peepers didn't take advantage of their height difference more he's a bit of a bully ♪#Rest abound as being silly little guys :) I do love how they're so easy to draw ''in colour'' haha#Red on black on red on black ♫ I suppose I could add in a yellow but pfsh don't even talk to me about the dark purple/red combo inside lol#Maybe at some point but I like them at full lighting for ease of colours haha#Cutest lads <3 Love 'em
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I was punched and pepper sprayed by cops that my university administration set on student protesters yesterday. Including once where a cop ripped my mask off my face, grabbed my jaw, and sprayed pepper sprayed straight into my mouth. The university sent out an alert in the middle of our protest canceling classes for the rest of the day, only citing “adverse conditions”. After protesters dispersed under threat of even more violence and three buses of riot police from all over the state with rubber bullets and bully sticks parked in front of one our school’s famous landmarks. I staggered over to a couple of friends who were watching on the sidelines. They gave me water and an apple and held a bag of ice on my very pepper spray irritated face. As they were walking me back to my dorm we ran into one of their roommates. She had taken cancelled classes as an opportunity to get crumbl cookie with her friends. Standing in front of her, happy in a floral blouse with her box of cookies, in my pepper spray and water soaked tshirt, keffiyeh sadly hanging off my shoulder, holding an ice pack to my mouth, felt like a slap in the face.
After putting my pepper spray soaked clothes, shoes, and keffiyeh in a plastic bag and taking an extraordinarily painful shower, a friend and I went for dinner just off campus. There we had a pot of green tea and ramen to soothe pepper sprayed throats. We got ice cream after (shared a cup with chocolate and raspberry pomegranate with strawberry pieces on top, it was very good). From our spot outside the ice cream place we watched a steady stream of groups of sorority girls in matching jeans shorts and blue bikini tops walking back to their apartments after some apparently raucous parties. The cognitive dissonance was insane. I really felt a little like I was going crazy.
Even this morning, waking up to the smeared sharpie of the National Lawyer’s Guild’s phone number on my arm, a black and blue chest from where a grown man straight up clocked me while I was held up by two other protesters in a wall, and a still sore throat and eyes from the pepper spray, life goes on like normal. I still have final papers to write and a math exam to review for.
I’m not sure I really have a point. But, this feeling only makes me want to fight harder for a free Palestine. So, fuck Israel for being an apartheid state and all of their crimes over the last 76 years. Fuck university administration for not disclosing their level of investment in Israel. Fuck university administration for not divesting from this genocide. Fuck Joe Biden for actively supporting this genocide. And fuck the police.
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