#it felt like so much more than me
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While I'm posting dreams, here's another one.
This was in many ways one of my strangest dreams due to the fact that it lingered far more than any dream usually does. The physical sensations of training in magic remained, even into that evening I could still feel the pull of magic and the feel of the staff as it either shot over my shoulder or thunked into my palm. In addition, the myth in the dream continued to narrate smoothly after I woke up, instead of halting abruptly and quickly fading.
After training, a myth was told.
A man wandered, lost and purposeless after the destruction of his home, before a god took pity on him and appointed him guardian of the gates to the afterlife. He could not be with his family, but he could ensure their afterlife. He did his job and welcomed in all who came to him.
Soon after he took on this role he saw a soul who looked particularly troubled. He asked them what weighed on their mind. The response shook the man and for the first time he turned a soul away. From this point forward he would weigh and judge each individual who came to his gate. Over time, his eyes grew impartial and dispassionate, able to see the truths at the very core of souls. Thus he became the Gatekeeper.
The Gatekeeper held his station until the end of all things. As this world ended and another began, one last soul stood before the Gatekeeper. The very same god who gave him purpose so many years ago now stood on the edge between life and death, the last speck of life leaving a dying world. He explained that after this final passing the Gatekeeper could at last rest and rejoin his family on the other side.
The Gatekeeper looked into his soul and saw pride, saw pain and weariness, joy and contentment. He saw sadness and guilt without regret.
He saw the deaths of his family from so very long ago.
The Gatekeeper was content with his role and knew the necessity of his post. The man the Gatekeeper once was felt the return of time-dulled bitterness and anger.
This immortal soul cannot be taken by oblivion. He must either pass through the gate or continue his life here, but the Gatekeeper cannot leave until the last soul has left.
The being that was neither god nor mortal looked upon the god who created him and spoke his judgement.
#I loved this dream#it felt like so much more than me#and it felt real in a strange way#and I don't think I've ever had a dream continue to it's conclusion after I woke up#And the conclusion kind of had two endings#one ending would have been a soft and bittersweet yet long-awaited ending#about forgiveness or condemnation with nothing at stake#the other ending was more like what I put above#with the immortal soul#it makes it a story about whether vengeance and retribution is worth giving up your own happiness#the story is so much about his choice to the point where I couldn't make it for him#but it also isn't about that at all#It’s about the gods who create and judge us and how we eventually come to judge them#and either way I didn't get to hear his answer#his answer is between him and his god#dreams#my post#mythology#well#it felt like mythology anyway
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fionna and cake drawings before and after watching the episodes so far. it’s nostalgic and somehow cathartic and poignant and relatable and—it just started
#i’m part of the demographic where i was a kid when adventure time started and now watching fionna and cake as an adult makes me emotional#because did they keep us in mind when writing fionna and her attitude towards life#the dissatisfaction#the hoping for something more#something more magical than this dreary life filled with working to live and living to work#it’s so reflective of how life feels for me and perhaps many of us#and also Simon’s episode was so sad but so well thought out#exploring his feelings after the events of the adventure time finale is something I’m glad we get to see#there were already so many layers to his character in AT but now it feels like we get to dive deeper#I also felt emotional hearing Rebecca Sugar singing and writing a song that encapsulates his feelings so well#😭 it’s been awhile seeing her work exist alongside these characters#and all of these emotions get stronger because I remember AT being the one to inspire me to be a storyboard artist#when I was younger I used to follow many of the board artists here in tumblr and would get so inspired by them#to create simple but powerful boards that can capture the feelings of characters so well#Rebecca Sugar’s songs for the AT characters inspired me so much too#I’m sorry this is long I’m just feeling so many things experiencing all of this again as an adult#my art#fanart#adventure time#fionna and cake#fionna the human#cake the cat#simon petrikov
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etho said actually you _don't_ understand the intricacies of how tango is my boyfriend and bdubs is my ex
(and how tango and bdubs kiss too)
Scar: We went on that little adventure, you know! Etho: Yeah, yeah, we had our adventure, that's true, that's true. Scar: You disparaged your teammates. That's it, all right, no more spoilers. Etho: (laughs) Our team has -- our team has some weird dynamics this -- this season. Cleo: (overlapping) Really, Etho? Is there trouble in paradise? (pause) Who's third-wheeling with you, again? I can't remember. Etho: (laughs) Uhh. The -- Cleo: Genuinely can't remember. I know it's you and Bdubs. And...Tango? Tango. Tango. Etho: (loudly) Why -- Why is Tango the third wheel? Why -- why isn't Bdubs the third wheel? Cleo: Because it's you and Bdubs. I'm sorry. I understand how that relationship goes. Etho: (dissatisfied) Hmm.
#why is this what makes me post again#tangtho#etho#ethoslab#tango#tangotek#tango tek#bdubs#bdoubleo100#bangtho#< saw that in etho's comments. and. yeah#also consider that tango and bdubs were together first this series and etho is the third wheel#to the fucked up love hate thing they have going on#there's never been something more appreciating and adoring BUT biting each other as tangdubs#goodtimeswithscar#hermitcraft s10#wild life smp#wild life smp spoilers#(Sorry but some people have ethubs blinders on but that's so much less interesting to me than the whole.#Yes bdubs is pathetic and will always be at etho's feet. and Yes etho will pity bdubs and want him protected.#but tangtho (!!!) has SO much more to play with...to Me.)#and Why is etho being a tango girl so under-noticed??? lmao. it's there to be noticed All the time#hot mic! hot mic!#but also lowkey dreading ep2 lmao#anyway I'll regret posting this lol#(also I see you asks in my inbox. sorry I haven't replied yet <3 re: s7 oh do I have thoughts! it's where it truly kinda began... I started#forming a reply to you back in May I think but I've been kinda averse to posting/participating in the fandom side for a while. sorry I#stopped being a good place for your tangtho snippets </3 I've still been watching and enjoying the streams and the tango etho joy continues#just haven't really felt like posting)
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Laios's three Boy Best Friends. And yes, they hate him.
#dungeon meshi#laios touden#toshiro nakamoto#chilchuck tims#kabru#BF in this context could be boyfriend or best friend. The line is so blurry.#Chilchuck less so but whatever is going on between Shuro and Laios & Kabru and Laios is giving strong:#“dude if you were a girl I'd date the hell out of you”. And from the genderswap extra's that sentiment is canon for BOTH.#This was made prior to the translation of the Laios & Kabru & Shuro restaurant date comic and honestly I am just feeling vindicated.#I don't even know what to call this dynamic other than a situationship. There is so much going on between all of them.#Even on a purely platonic reading - the miscommunication and male yearning for friendship hurt so bad.#When we got the Big Hug scene in the epilogue arc I was whooping and hollering! Pure catharsis moment!#I also don't like hugs very much so I really felt it went Shuro ('hates being touched') went in for the bear hug.#Do not get me started on the agony of 'always lying' Kabru telling the truth (I just wanted to be friends)#and 'always believes' Laios thinking it's another lie and brushing him off.#I am once again supporting dungeon meshi day by posting art. Please watch dungeon meshi.#obligatory edit because I’m tired: YES. Chilchuck cares for Laios and him admitting it was a huge part of his arc#YES he is more just fed up with him that actually hating him.#I needed a third guy to be canonically done with his ass for the THREE WEED SMOKING GIRLFRIENDS reference
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hey, remember being 18 years old and playing mass effect for the first time and it's got this like intense aura of being very small and very insignificant in a very big, very empty galaxy? remember playing mass effect for the first time and everything all of this is so new and mysterious, and it's 2am and you're sitting in a dark room in the light from your tv and you're playing through feros for the first time and you feel that this is someting very old and very ancient and you are somewhere you shouldn't be and you don't know what's going to happen or where you're going but you keep on. there's a tingling in your stomach and you're playing mass effect for the first time. the thorian is a milennia old sentient plant being. the rachni queen is old and telepathic and a hive mind and in pain. sovereign is an ancient machine that has not been built but is, and has always been, and this is something so alien and so unlike and beyond anything your human mind can comprehend, and this is something unexplainable and huge and as uncaring and indifferent as the empty galaxy around you. you're playing mass effect for the first time and you're walking on the surface of an almost completely empty planet with nothing but your two companions silently walking beside you and everything is so huge and empty and silent and you're so small and insignificant and it's so beautiful and so scary and you feel like you are on a rollercoaster about to drop down. you are playing mass effect for the first time and you're playing the mission on the moon and you stop and just look up at earth visible in the sky. you know this. this is home. you are playing mass effect for the first time, and the galaxy is so big, and you are so tiny, and everything is about to change for you.
#mass effect#wild rambles#i miss the feeling of playing that game for the first time#now i know everything and it isn't as mysterious and alluring anymore#getting lost in the tunnels on feros is one of my memories of all time. it just felt like... i was meant to get lost. there's Something her#i love the whole trilogy but man me1 really did have that sci-fi interstellar type of feeling the other two don't#also later they retconned the reapers as having actually been built by someone as opposed to ''this is so alien you can't understand it.#this is a machine without a creator. it has always existed. you are not meant to understand. this is so much bigger than you.''#which i really liked a lot more but like. whatever. im not in charge. they wanted to make things more palatable to the human mind when i#think the cosmic horror aspect of the reapers in me1 was one of the things that affected me the most#and made me stay with the series for as long as i did
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if only things had been different for you
id under cut
[ID] a digital painting of dahlia hawthorne and iris from ace attorney. their backs are facing each other, with dahlia on the far left of the picture, and iris on the far right. their hair is blowing towards each other, and connecting in the middle. dahlia is looking over her shoulder, with a neutral, but cold, expression. a single tear is falling from her eye, and her loose hair is blowing into her face. her right eye is not visible. white glowing butterflies are flying around her, and she has a noose around her neck. iris is facing sister bikini, who is off screen. iris is also crying, but bikini is wiping away her tears. iris's loose hair is blowing behind her, and out of her face. above dahlia and iris are two drawings of dusky bridge. above dahlia, the bridge shows the silhouettes of valerie hawthorne pointing a gun at terry fawles, who was holding a young dahlia hostage. no details can be seen on the figures. above iris, dusky bridge is on fire. underneath dahlia, there are red dahlias that are dripping blood, and under iris there are some irises. in the center of the picture, dahlia and iris as children are standing side by side. their hair is black and medium length. they have bangs and both twins have a braid going down the side of their head, dahlia's on the right side of her head, and iris' on the left. they are both wearing white dresses, white knee-high socks, and black mary jane shoes. both of their dresses are dirty, with dahlia's being slightly dirtier. [end ID]
#my art#ace attorney#dahlia hawthorne#iris ace attorney#iris hawthorne#it is done.... *collapses*#surprisingly only took me about 4 hours total to finish and not like a week#yippee for random middle of the night motivation!!#also this bad boy can hold so much symbolism#feel free to ask me about the symbolism in this drawing bc id love to talk about it!! especially since i put more than i usually do#felt like i was returning to my symbolism roots from 2020 by drawing flowers... i dont think ive painted a flower since like. 2021#cw bright colors#<- just in case bc of dahlias highly saturated hair lol#2023
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Fuck you Endeavor. Fuck you All For One. Fuck you to all the Pro-Heroes. Fuck the Hero Society and FUCK YOU HORIKOSHI too 🥰
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#mha#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha 426#mha 426#fuck endeavor#— ❥ kelrambles;#am i pissed?? HELL YEAH. am i sad?? FUCK YEAH. I AM FUCKING CRYING FOR FUCK SAKE—#ahhhh i am so done with horikoshi istg… SO. DONE.#always killing off the characters who more than anyone in this god forsaken manga deserved to be happy#the hero society haven’t got better AT ALL#the same toxic shit all over again that promotes so much toxicity it makes me VOMIT#excusing the abusers and crucifying the victims OHH I AM SO FUCKING SICK TO MY STOMACH#been hurling so bad at the last few chapters because tf?????#like… i’m sorry today’s chapter was… nice (at most) only because touya got to have a last talk with his mother and siblings…#but other than that???? hope horikoshi steps on a lego hits the corners of every furniture with his toe EVERYWHERE he goes#and most of all???? that in this scorching weather both sides of his pillow are WARM AS FUCK#honestly… just like shigaraki’s chapter this chapter felt RUSHED as hell too…#especially after how much horikoshi have been staying behind the todorokis as a family…#idk these last chapters just don’t make sense to me…
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
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(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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keykid dump
#kh#kingdom hearts#khux#khml#keykid#kh player#kh brain#sou (keykid)#stray (keykid)#ok brains barely here but i might as well#this is also more sou than stray but thats just bc sou wont let me rest#anyway hi. im not dead. ive just been too keykidpilled to function#ive never felt as obsessed w any character than i do w my own damn keykid ocs. thats embarrassing right#like u have no idea how much theyve completely taken up my head#ive been writing down ideas as they come and i have over 60 . im p sure this has never happened to me before#send help im abt to make a twt alt just so i can post them more#myart
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Something something perhaps the reason Curly lacks a truly undamaged ID where his face is visible is to represent how much damage Jimmy had already affected on him throughout their relationship and the way Curly obscured part of who he is and what he stood to unintentionally cater to this toxic influence in his life.
#I think there is something to say that most people draw post crash curly and may not have every drawn him pre crash#and I think it says something that we only really look at the characters substantially in relation to Jimmy and not their own merits#unless we are discussing how J I M M Y mischarcterizes them cause in this#since we don’t assign a face and identify to Curly’s actions outside of Jimmy until the end their is the question of how much we are viewing#them as separate entities rather than intertwined actions cause while the flipping#of who we play at shows them and parallels and in separable in terms of the story going down#they couldn’t be drastically more different in thinking and you only really realize that at the birthday scene where Curly felt the need to#take responsibility for something while Jimmy just felt the need to take#this is also more so me thinking about all the reason people think Curly and Jimmy could be friends but they are missing the point of Jimmy#and his dynamic there is nothing severely weird or sinister about Curly or his intentions it’s that he’s well meaning to a fault#he’s an average dude having a mid life crisis and Jimmy is a guy that takes advantage of good intentions like the idea#that curly has to be like Jimmy in some way personality humor morally is the exact sort of projection Jimmy wants#to happen and does like it’s the sad and real case that sometimes people just have friends like Jimmy that they can’t cut off for one reason#or another like it’s not highly philosophical people are friends with objective assholes but it’s less about them#and more about the person feeling some obligation to stay like I feel like crafting him into#being more morally grey is to just make it easier to be angrier or think someone with more of a backbone#could of done something but it’s not even that he was spineless he was just too distracted and sometimes that feel like cowardice like even#Swansea waited it’s just the sad truth of how people avoid people like Jimmy or setting them off#sometimes it just does more harm than good I just am so bored with all the takes#acting like there was a perfect man on that ship and that any one outside of Anya knew the exact type of guy Jimmy#was from the get go like the point is other men wouldn’t in rape culture but women and their victims already know#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#throwing rocks at Jimmy
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in honor of the Sam BA 🫡📣 idk what to do with myself
#rising from the dead for sam collins? you bet!#what the fuck. what the fuck . w#oh my god#do you feel me? oh my god#it deserves more than doodles. can i draw stuff from the ba like legally idk#okau ill drink waterand stop tagging this so much#redacted audio#redacted asmr#brainz oc tag#digital art#fanart#art#artists on tumblr#digital artist#redacted darlin#redacted sam#im rlly sick rn it just felt too important not to post something to commemorate i love sam so much
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Wild how we know that Elizabeth Woodville was officially appointed to royal councils in her own right during her husband’s reign and fortified the Tower of London in preparation of a siege while 8-months pregnant and had forces gathering at Westminster “in the queen’s name�� in 1483 – only for NONE of these things to be even included, let alone explored, in the vast majority of scholarship and historical novels involving her.
#lol I don't remember writing this - I found it when I was searching for something else in my drafts. But it's 100% true so I had to post it.#elizabeth woodville#my post#Imo this is mainly because Elizabeth's negative historiography has always involved both vilification and diminishment in equal measure.#and because her brand of vilification (femme fatale; intriguer) suggests more indirect/“feminine” than legitimate/forceful types of power#It's still bizarre though-you'd think these would be some of the most famous & defining aspects of Elizabeth's life. But apparently not#I guess she only matters when it comes to marrying Edward and Promoting Her Family and scheming against Richard#There is very lacking interest in her beyond those things even in her traditionally negative depictions#And most of her “reassessments” tend to do diminish her so badly she's rendered utterly irrelevant and almost pathetic by the end of it#Even when some of these things *are* mentioned they're never truly emphasized as they should be.#See: her formal appointment in royal councils. It was highly unconventional + entirely unprecedented for queens in the 14th & 15th century#You'd think this would be incredibly important and highlighted when analyzing late medieval queenship in England but apparently not#Historians are more willing to straight-up INVENT positions & roles for so many other late medieval queens/king's mothers that didn't exist#(not getting into this right now it's too long...)#But somehow acknowledging and discussing Elizabeth's ACTUAL formally appointed role is too much for them I guess#She's either subsumed into the general vilification of her family (never mind that they were known as 'the queen's kin' to actual#contemporaries; they were defined by HER not the other way around) or she's rendered utterly insignificant by historians. Often both.#But at the end of the day her individual role and identity often overlooked or downplayed in both scenarios#and ofc I've said this before but - there has literally never been a proper reassessment of Elizabeth's role in 1483-85 TILL DATE#despite the fact that it's such a sensational and well-known time period in medieval England#This isn't even a Wars of the Roses thing. Both Margaret of Anjou and Margaret Beaufort have had multiple different reassessments#of their roles and positions during their respective crises/upheavals by now;#There is simply a distinct lack of interest in reassessing Elizabeth in a similar way and I think this needs to be acknowledged.#Speaking of which - there's also a persistent habit of analyzing her through the context of Margaret of Anjou or Elizabeth of York#(either as a parallel or a foil) rather than as a historical figure in HER OWN RIGHT#that's also too long to get into I just wanted to point it out because I hate it and I think it's utterly senseless#I've so much to say about how all of this affects her portrayal in historical fiction as well but that's going into a whole other tangent#ofc there are other things but these in particular *really* frustrate me#just felt like ranting a bit in the tags because these are all things that I want to individually discuss someday with proper posts...
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"Let him feel the pain that his mother felt and rot."
Listen, do I know that I'm supposed to want Odysseus freed? Yes, I do know this but also! She kinda ate with that.
#listen#you can't put Aphrodite in any piece of media and expect me to root against her#that's not how this works#I will simply go “yeah and he derseves it too”#I love Aphrodite more than anything and I felt the strong urge to design her after listening to God games#epic the musical#epic god games#epic aphrodite#aphrodite#greek mythology#greek myth art#greek mythology art#character design#epic the musical fanart#epic the musical fandom#outing myself as a greek mythology nerd and one who has been quietly listening to Epic the Musical for a while now#i just think I should be allowed to have a treat and design Aphrodite with the intent of her being beautiful and ready to throw hands#i am simply compelled to do so#digital art#fan art#mr. laveau's art gallery#artists on tumblr#artist of tumblr#art#cw: partial nudity#like not much but you're seeing skin
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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#persona 4#p4#persona 4 golden#p4g#hanamura yosuke#souyo#this scene revealed so much of their relationship in one go#yosuke has already long been established as yu's confidant at this point but this moment really drove it home!#yosuke anticipates each of yu's behaviour#but even though he disagrees with it he doesn't judge yu for it#even going so far as to help yu hide it from the rest of the team#its debatable whether thats necessarily a good thing#but it demonstrates yosuke's unwavering loyalty to yu while also making clear his disappointment#and of course yosuke has much to feel sad and disappointment over - one the one hand it felt like yu didnt trust him/them enough#he phrased it as a matter of “you should trust us more” as opposed to “you should trust ME more” because talking about trust in the singula#would hit too close to home and risk making too many demands of yu. demands that yosuke didnt feel he was allowed to make#afterall why would yu trust him but not the others? but the team is made up of other more reliable people than he was#and bringing up the team gives yosuke a defensive cover#so as usual it's part of yosuke's self doubt creeping in#but theres also honesty here - yosuke wasnt here to accost him or be angry at him; he really showed up just to make sure that yu was safe#and once hes confirmed it yosuke falls back to his usual habits of cracking a joke to lighten the mood#to end the conversation on a joke feels like its as much a service for yu as it is for himself#we know yosuke tends to joke to make the people around him feel better and i think in this instance he was also trying to cheer yu up#whether it was to make up for yosuke approaching him or to alleviate any guilt yu might feel#or even to manage whatever it was that adachi might have said to yu (which yosuke undoubtedly picked up on)#yosuke doesn't let his disagreement with yu get in the way of supporting his partner#to some extent i also wonder if this loyalty was also coloured by their previous interaction with namatame and Yosuke's anger#it's been less than a week since that incident after all and i think theres this contradiction for yosuke#and i think there was probably a contradiction in Yosuke's heart in that moment: he doesn't trust himself to make good judgements#but as much as he'd rather take yu's lead in this instance he also feels like his leader was wrong here
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yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.
to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!
i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.
also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.
they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.
they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.
i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.
#eve text#elmike#stranger things#byler#only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol#tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS#god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear#i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable#i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts#elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about#even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike#i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up#the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me#and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing...#the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me#and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin#also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice…#fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK#so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows#i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too???#love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk#tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO...#like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO#stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest#anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul#i need frivolity#ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show
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