#it feels like i just attract people who only fuck with me for a very limited amount of time before ghosting me
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welp. i'm posting this unedited and EXTREMELY self indulgent pedro pascal x reader fic. i have more written, but i will only post the full thing if ppl are also as sick and twisted as me.
hope who ever reads this, feels a little more seen bc i am SICK (well not really HHAHAH) of all the pedro character ddlg fics!! i just wanted to write something more realistic? idk welp, here it is! (not in its entirety:P )
Si no te hubieras ido
pairings: Pedro Pascal x Reader
warnings: age gap, drinking, reader is in their 20s
getting to work on a set like The Mandalorian was a dream if you were being honest. no, you weren't some high end actor, or a famous director, just someone part of the production crew, doing things like planning, writing, hell even editing. you'd do anything to just be a part of a project like this.
interactions with the actors were also common in a job like this, but apart from just guiding them through certain scenes and how they should look, you really didn't cross the boundaries that weren't professional. It was really nice to admire them though. Getting the occasional chat with big shot superstars was so cool and always something to brag about to your family even though they weren't supportive of your career choice. You didn’t end up a doctor or lawyer like they wanted, but hey! You did something you loved.
It was honestly a very normal day in the workplace. You were working in the art department as usual, helping make sure the vision that the director wanted was really coming through. Being behind the scenes for such big projects like these was really something. Your admiration for the process really grew getting to do all the behind the scenes work, it was such a nice feeling seeing the thing you along with many others, worked so hard on being televised was something special.
You weren't the overly ambitious type, but the thought of directing something sounded really cool.
You continued on, designing what the director wanted on a few scenes we’d be working on in the following weeks.
Lost in your work you didn’t expect anyone to come up to you for anything, you weren't the art director so it wasn't usual for people to come to you. Unbeknownst to you, you felt a sudden hand on your arm, not roughly just to get your attention.
you look up and woah…why the hell was Pedro Pascal standing right behind you.
"uhm, I'm sorry to bother you, you seem busy, but I've been meaning to ask, would you like to go out for a drink sometime?" Pedro asked.
huh? what…the…fuck…?
it caught you off guard.
Firstly, why was Pedro Pascal even looking for you? Because I mean you? of all people he could ask something like that, it was you? A man notorious for not having any sort of relationship, at least not public, was standing here with you asking you to go out for a drink.
you didn’t even think about your response before the words fell from your mouth.
"oh..uhm…Is this some kind of prank?"
you dumb BITCH WHY WOULD U SAY THAT???
was what you thought immediately after.
In your defense, you were in disbelief because what the hell was Pedro Pascal, a very prominent and influential actor, asking you out for drinks? I mean the interactions you both have had were merely professional and work related so why?
he looked confused at your answer, maybe even a little insulted, which was not your intention.
"shit I'm sorry I didn't mean to sound rude I'm just in a bit of disbelief" you let out an awkward laugh to soften the previous response and got out of your seat to face him properly. how do you even respond to a question like that, you had no idea that's for certain.
He stared softly at you and started, "no I'm sorry, that was very sudden haha. no need to say yes I just wanted to see if you would." His response was genuine and he wore a soft smile as he did.
God, was he really handsome up close.
To be quite honest, you always found him super attractive. But he was the internet’s daddy so it wasn't just you who felt attraction towards him. And sure, you might've dabbled in the idea of maybe even going out with him, but you were realistic with yourself.
But here you are now. Getting asked out on a date with this hunk of a man.
You were still lost in thought, trying to reflect on what was occurring and what came out of Pedro’s mouth.
He spoke again, "Sorry, just forget it ev-"
"no no, I mean I'd love to, who wouldn't want to go out for drinks with you, I'm just not all that special ya know?" you were being honest. You weren't some super sexy model or a renowned actor, you were just some girl working on the same set as Pedro.
Also, you were much younger than Pedro.
"I'd beg to differ." he said quite frankly. He smiled that sweet and tender smile of his and you couldn't help but think, for an older man he was sure fine.
you were daydreaming again at this point when Pedro spoke again,"so...is that a yes then?" it snapped you back to reality. It was so odd to see him so nervous over something like this, but being in the know of most things Hollywood, everyone who knew Pedro also knew that he had social anxiety so it must've taken a lot out of him to even ask you out
your heart raced, “yea- yes, I'll go for a drink with you.” you smiled, but if you were being honest you were really nervous too. What exactly did he see in you? Sure you were kind and respectful, but that's how you were with everyone. Pedro felt way out of your league to even grasp the idea of flirting with him, I mean come on. Who would even think about flirting with an A-list celebrity, especially someone way way WAY younger than he was and someone who wasn’t on any level to him.
he had a huge smile on his face, he seemed so content. “Great, should I get your number while I’m at it?” He pulled out his phone and handed it to you. You slightly grazed his hand when he did and it caught you by surprise.
His hands were so big, and you didn’t realize till just then how much of a height difference you two had.
You put your name and number, your hands were trembling a bit as you did so.
“here you go. so…when should I expect that drink?” you tried being coy to play off the fact that you were actually freaking out.
he smiled and laughed, “what about tonight then?”
that was quick
“oh. uhm yeah sure, i get off at 5, would like 8 be okay.”
“Sounds perfect. I’ll pick you up, wear something nice.”
“Do I not look nice now?” you said sarcastically.
“No no, you always look great, I’d just like to see you in a dress.” He looked at you with so much love, his sweet smile still plastered hard on his face.
You couldn’t help but blush hard.
Has he always looked at me?
“I’ll send you my address then, see you tonight.”
“See you tonight.” and he stepped out.
what the fuck were you getting into
~~~~~~~
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truly at the end of the day its all about receiving validation
#<- was having a lot of fun drawing fat william till he stopped to think about what other people might think#<- very important that people like him just as much as i do#<- incredibly important (i love him so much and his character is so much more nuanced than the fandom ever gives him credit for#and he already gets shat on way too often by people who don't understand what they're talking about)#truly the amount of hate based around him being a murderer is insane. Brother he's not a real life murderer. he's not going to#come out of the screen and hurt you#I NEED PEOPLE TO AT LEAST LIKE HIM A LITTLE BIT *bursts into tears*#and i need validation#and getting people to simp for him and think oh hes hot 😳 is one of the easier and more entertaining ways to get nice comments#what i lack in skill and talent i can make up for in character design and suggestive subtext right?#ugh#i dunno it feels like the only way to get people to say sometjing nice about my art sometimes#don't get me wrong i adore drawing him slutty but. ougggghhhhhh#hope it doesnt sound like im implying he's less attractive if hes fat personally i think hes hot as fuck#its mostly about stupid ass conventionally attractive shit#and also that people get bullied for portraying him fat... That too#anyways#im normal again now#toxi.txt
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I snoopes around your old tags aand I am a little in love with Harwen
Aaaah, thank you, I'm so happy you like him! ❤️❤️
I've been thinking about him a lot this Veilguard eve too, kinda revisiting him (and some of my other, "non-canon" guys, especially vis a vis the Themes™ and how they continue through the new guys), and for what it's worth... I think that for a character I made when I was only like 22, he still works pretty well!
I would probably do a few things differently now, more consciously, but, I mean... I still think that the "reclusive, introverted, gray-ace-but-specifically-demisexual Dalish assassin-strategist Experiencing Cultural Divide And Alienation" is still a fun concept that I really like!
.... I have also been toying around a bit with mods for the BG3 cc, to try and make (among others) him an updated face for the Veilguard timeskip too, and um.
the "Vallaslin" and the nose on this one are not quite right (the Vallaslin is supposed to be Andruil's, and his nose is supposed to be a bit hooked, kind of aquiline), but in his mid- to late forties? There's no way Harwen isn't gonna be dilfy. A positively dilfy elf.
(This is, I believe, is Shadowheart's dad's face, and he's an assassin-spec archer rogue in Dragon Age canon, but I think he'd be more of a hunter-, or gloom stalker-subclass Ranger in real DnD.)
#squirrel plays dragon age#oc: harwen lavellan#is another one of those guys who make me kind of side-eye my younger self#for never having as much as entertained the thought that yeah; she might very well be autistic#like let's be real. let's be SO real. yeah Ray probably only has his regular plot-PTSD piled on top of his cPTSD#but this guy? this guy is *textbook*. i re-read some backstory shit i had written about him back in the day; and well uh#ngl i could have straight up pulled half his thoughts and feelings from the DSM5#and i was just writing it like “hahehahuhehaho this is gotta be so relatable to everyone else too hehehihihohohu”#“i'm sure everyone experiences the world as if there was this invisible yet impenetrable wall between themselves and the rest of society”#“and like; numbly searching for belonging and never feeling quite right no matter where you are; but feeling Worse Occasionally?”#“totally the universal experience of being human”#and here i am 30 years old and holding my head in my hands like no. no babygirl. most people actually don't usually feel like that#but thank you for confirming it for me yet fucking again#(also. how wild it is for him to be both demi and autistic huh. no wonder baby boy has never been in a proper relationship before Josie.)#(yeah for sure; have the guy who struggles with establishing relationships only experience attraction through a deep emotional bond)#(that's not gonna make him lonely for sure)
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it seems that it is time once again for me to have my bimonthly identity crisis about whether or not i experience romantic attraction while also being terrified of what that means for my future relationships. fuck
#argothoughts#mostly it's just like. whether or not i experience romantic attraction? whatever. i might feel it on occasion but i can't shake the feeling#that my definition of romantic attraction seems to be very different from everyone else's so who fucking knows#and i'm scared.#because i know i can fall in love with people. sure. but can i love them in the “normal” way? the expected way? i don't think so!#it is so terrifying to me that not only do i have to deal with the uncertainty of whether or not someone likes me back#but also whether or not they can even understand the way i love them.#i don't want to be a boyfriend (most of the time) but i don't want to be a fwb and i don't wanna be a best friend. i wanna be together#and i know you're thinking “argo have you heard of a qpr” yes! i have! but like. how many people understand that#and i'm so so terrified that i will end up becoming hopelessly in love with someone who doesn't understand#and it's not the same thing! i don't think i can do romantic attraction at least not normally!#i can love you and i do love you but i can't love you the way you want me to!#and idk. i guess i'm just terrified of having to explain that to someone
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Tfw you send a thoughtful text asking someone how they've been and all they do is "heart" it and never respond.
#idk why i keep trying to make friends tbh#it feels like i just attract people who only fuck with me for a very limited amount of time before ghosting me#idk if its something im doing or what#i wish they would just tell me if im doing something wrong so i can fix it#buntalk#personal rant#making friends is hard
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I'm just sitting here mentally telling myself 'I don't have to like him just because I find him attractive, I don't have to like him just because he's hot, I don't have to like him just because I like the character' over and over until I start to believe it
#every single time I love a character I also start to love the actor. sometimes that sucks. I don't want to. I want to pretend he doesn't#exist#but he's got the same face and the same body and the same voice and I just. how do I not do this.#I don't like him. I don't want to like him. he's at the very least kinda gross about women. which I'm not okay with. so. just. ugggh#it's just that I look at him and my mind shuts off and it's like 😍🥰😍#rationally I know that's also fine. I'm allowed to like people who aren't perfect (and no one is perfect anyway)#buuut. it makes me feel disgusting.#idk. I guess I just. i dealt with this for so long when I was younger because like. most of the men I thought were hot were also#misogynistic. because the culture at the time was so much worse. and it was just accepted.#and I fucking hated it and I don't want to deal with that anymore#it's just. idk. it feels gross and bad and I don't like it#but. I do find him extremely attractive and I want him so so bad and I don't know what to do with that#ugh I need to just. not be attracted to people. it happens so rarely but when it does it only causes trouble.#or maybe I need to get over these weird morality standards that I have but I don't think that's possible? like how would that work? I don't#get it.#anyway. yes this is about Eliot/CK no I won't elaborate on that and also I hope he's actually a great guy and everything I've seen#that made me think otherwise is just wrong#I will still stare at his face and think about him and listen to his stupid gross music all day. and I will enjoy it. but I will also#feel conflicted about it 😔#(but damn it he is hot and his arms are big and I am just a human being and I am very very weak 😫 big arms make me fucking stupid)
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last night sucked. today was not great. i just don't know why i can't get past this. i thought i was doing better, except i must not be because i fully cried in the kohls dressing room and i haven't done that since i was like 12. i just want to LIKE my body. i don't even need to love it. i just want to look and the mirror and think "yeah that's me :)" i just want to be content. i am so tired of looking in the mirror every day and forcing myself to just take a deep breath, sigh it out, and move on. i am tired of avoiding looking at myself in the shower. i'm tired of only feeling comfortable in clothes that hide the entire shape of my torso. i don't need to be smoking hot. i don't need 6 pack abs and the fucking gills on my ribs. i don't need to be skinny. i just want to be comfortable. and i'm not. i haven't been since i hit puberty. and i'm fucking sick of it.
#mom and my sister were nice about my crying. but they did think i was upset because of my weight tho#which. yeah i'm bigger than i used to be#but i do also think i've lost some weight this year? cause i vividly remember being 217 at the beginning of the year#and now i'm back to like 205. so that's nice#but like my weight doesn't stop me from feeling like i look good#i think fat people can be very attractive. i have clothes i know i look good in#that's not my problem#but i can't explain any of that#and i just kept putting on blousy shirts and jackets that only have one button cause#'that's how women's jackets are cut' and 'women aren't supposed to button their jacket' and 'they are cut like that to show off your waist'#etc etc#and the pants were all cut to be swooshy wide leg or curvy flare#and all dressing room are required to have the worst fucking lighting on the planet#so i just. couldn't Not Be Aware of the shape of my body and it SUCKS#cause like objectively i looked good and fine and if i saw someone who looked like that on the street i'd think they were hot!!!!#but it's WRONG and there's nothing i can do to change it#and it's really getting to me lately
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//been having So many thoughts lately about victor being a lil incel about salvatore and how that might change up their dynamic. tag ramble related.
#❝ ain't no jesus here‚ billy boy ❞ 「 ooc 」#//LIKE ok. i'm definitely not saying that victor only like. abused and dehumanized sal b/c he was attracted to him#//i think he would've done that regardless. this just adds a new layer of context.#//also incel might not be the right term here but i hope it gets the vibes across#//but just like. yeah the idea of victor being very attracted to sal#//at the time in sal's life where he's like. peak internalized homophobia#//and mixing up with the genuine resentment victor feels towards sal as well for being such an asshole to him#//and representing like. the ideal of what victor could be vs what he really is#//all the while seeing him for WHO he really is#//sexual interest..... admiration and friendship.... deep-seated resentment#//just a whole mess of complicated feelings#//victor's like. i want to be salvatore. i want to fuck salvatore. i want to kill salvatore.#//actually i've been thinking on this for a while lmao i just haven't talked about it much#//just something about the fact that the easiest solution to victor's problem would've been to kill sal#//(his problem being that he perceived sal as turning against him)#//like... incredibly easy solution. victor killed a lot of people. he could've even done it himself#//but instead he chose to punish sal in a very specific way that keeps sal under his control#//allowing him to torture sal more but also allowing himself unlimited and exclusive access to sal#//just. idk victor's really interesting to me#//he's always had the potential to appear as a guest muse but. hmmmm. thinking.#ask to tag
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after extensive thought (not finding any men actually attractive) i have concluded that i am in fact a lesbian. if ur wondering how that works w my gender ive decided since i think gender isn't real and i like the people a lesbian would like in a queer way therefore it makes sense for me to call myself a lesbian. also i present pretty fem nowadays anyways so the attachment to womanhood that's assumed with that label isnt like. that much different than when i wear something and i look very obviously like a woman imo. and i feel like thats the label that most accurately captures the group of people im attracted to without like. a lot of extra explanation. and like 80% of the time i call myself queer anyways lol
#this conclusion has taken me 3 actual months#im so not attracted to men that it's kind of funny i thought i was#girl im dating and i went through the lesbian masterdoc yesterday and like#i said yes to like All of the “are u actually attracted to men” questions#yknow the ones that if u agree with them ur probably not attracted to men#also i have like very little desire to even be friends w men let alone fucking. date one#so that's pretty concrete#and then i think im okay w being like. assumed to be a woman (only by people who don't know) so i think im also okay w that label#and anyways i just fucking like girls in a gay way 😭���#and i feel okay calling the relationship im in rn a lesbian relationship#soooooo#yeah#life update <3#andddd now i can go back to NOT constantly thinking abt my identities lol
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when like *very specific facial hair* is so gender but also if i ever get facial hair i will be Unhappy
#thank god my dad cant grow a full beard that makes me feel like my chances growing facial hair on t are very small#but still!!#and like?? also i dont know how i’ll feel right in the moment#but if im being honest most facial hair is?? just a no for me?? i do not understand people who are like#woow facial hair is so attractive i love people w facial hair#the maybe only exceptions are just five o’clock shadow though i think??#like example oscar isaac#pedro pascal!#there’s this one instagram guy who has longish hair and paints his nails and certain facial hair is like! yes!! so good!#anyway this is so random!!#rambles#winter shut the fuck up
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Why can't people like a celebrity without imagine them as queer? Can't people like Taylor music without go saying she's lesbian/queer when she hasn't said anything about that. Pretty sure if she was attracted to women she would have already said it 🫠
Even in the hypothetical scenario where she was queer indeed pressuring somebody to come out or out them yourself is selfish, stupid, dangerous, toxic and overall fucked up (-᷅_-᷄)
We have so many queer pop icons out of the closet but you need to headcanon your favourite ally/het as lgbt for...comfort reasons? Just because she's your fav? Because you are queer? Dude she's not a fictional character can you not spread false information or discuss real people orientations and just enjoy their content 💀
all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.
#saying this as bi myself btw#WHO SAYS LADY GAGA DOESN'T COUNT AS QUEER JUST BECAUSE SHE'S A BOY KISSER TOO#i'm tired of this shit#please remember that is LGBT+ NOT LGT+#bi/pan folks exist. No need to act like people is either gay or straight and there's no in between when that's clearly *false*!#And even if you aren't lgbt+ I think having this opinion of not giving real people hc sexualities/orientations is still valid#you have too much free time if you're wasting it to theorize about somebody private life while ignoring the very much confirmed queer icons#Plus. If you care sm about somebody sexuality to the point if they aren't what you want them to be you get disappointed/upset#rather than caring more about their work which they produced and you supposedly consume as a self-proclaimed fan...#Are you really a fan of them? I don't think so.#A true fan loves them for who they are or what they produce. Not because for who they feel attracted to#Imagine working your way to the top as a musician or whatever career you pursue and your fans grade your worth or their liking to you#based on who you kiss or sleep with or who you don't 💀#feeling like OOP pfp for real#this is exhausting#Idc less about who Lady Gaga kisses. Yeah having her as bi icon was important to me but if tomorrow she decides to come out as smth else#I'll keep listening her music. Because I like her music. And her personality. And some of her outfits. The end#there are many songs made by women/nb who like women iswtg#you don't need to pretend straight people isn't straight in order to like their music or to like them as a person I promise it's okay 🙏#Also what in the actual fuck is that article??? People seriously get paid for writing that? 💀💀💀💀#So sorry for all the shit you must have read in order to need to do this thread OP and afterwards too#ALSO BATMAN NAME based opinion and good taste hell yeah ✨#the you in all this post only goes to those who think like that btw. If you feel offended the problem is on you#how about taking reading comprehension classes before speaking. Some people are in dire need of it#those who believe a bi is less queer icon than a gay one is in my blacklist. If you come to me with that bs I'll block you on sight
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Just Benefits
Something I whipped while procrastinating on my other fics bc brainrot got to me. Lmk if there's any typos. May or may not make this into a full fic hehe
Sebastian x F!Reader
content: nsfw
MDNI!!!
⋆。˚ ☁︎⋅ ˚。⋆。˚☼˚。⋆。˚☁︎⋅ ˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆。˚☁︎⋅˚。⋆。˚☼˚。⋆ 。˚☁︎⋅ ˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆
Sebastian who is completely shocked when you propose a friends with benefits situation with him.
Sebastian accepts because why the hell not? He finds you attractive and you’re steadily becoming one of his favorite people in the valley after some late night chats by the lake and generous surprises of his favorite gifts.
Sebastian has to smoke to calm his nerves as he walks down the mountain path to meet up with you for the first time. He makes sure to not litter on your property and stuffs the dirty cigarette butt into his pocket before knocking to enter.
Sebastian decides to just kiss you after an awkward greeting. It’s slow and fumbling at first but the two of you soon find your bearings and it becomes deeper and neither of you can get enough.
Sebastian lets himself get pulled to your bed, only to push you on it and beneath him so he can kiss you more, he can’t stop his hands from roaming your body and tugging at your clothes.
Sebastian who asks for permission before pulling off your bottoms and gets harder with your shy agreement.
Sebastian who can’t help but gawk at the wet patch already forming on your panties and ends up kissing that very spot, over and over until you beg him to just take them off.
Sebastian who ends up making out with your clit, flicking his tongue piercing along your folds and pumping his long fingers in and out of you until you come for the first time. He doesn’t even notice that he’s been humping the mattress until after you’re done, he’s already so high from your taste and smell.
Sebastian who eagerly shuffles off his jeans and boxers when you ask to reciprocate. He has to bite into his hands to keep himself from whining too much.
Sebastian nearly finishes in your mouth but pulls you off because he just needs to fuck you so badly instead.
Sebastian who asks again to make sure you’re sure before slowly pressing into you so you can feel every single inch and vein.
Sebastian who has to grip your sheets hard because it's just so, so difficult not to immediately come, and he really doesn’t want to let you down.
Sebastian listens to all the sounds you make to make sure he’s fucking you how you like, every gasp and moan is a direction to him.
Sebastian who fucks you harder when you ask for it, who holds your legs open so he can angle his hips just right to thrust harder and faster right into the spot that makes you whine his name.
Sebastian makes sure to rub your clit right when your legs start to shake and your voice gets all pitchy to help you climax.
Sebastian comes when you do, unable to hold back when he feels your walls getting wetter and tighter, practically milking him. He continues to thrust into you though, working both of you through your highs.
Sebastian feels awkward when the afterglow fades, he’s unsure of if you want him to stay or do aftercare, but ends up fetching you water and giving you some cuddles before deciding to leave as to not overstay his welcome.
FWB!Sebastian starts coming over more often now, whenever he’s annoyed at home or just whenever you text him.
FWB!Sebastian who starts to shamelessly introduces new positions and kinks to try after getting more and more comfortable.
FWB!Sebastian who also figures out that he likes it when you praise him and that you like it when he makes sounds, so he makes sure to let out his moans and whimpers too, even if he thinks it a little embarrassing.
FWB!Sebastian who will smoke in bed afterwards if you allow it and if he notices that you find it attractive. Otherwise he weans himself off smoking more and more unconsciously if you don't.
FWB!Sebastian who stays for the night almost every time now, he enjoys your bigger bed and doesn’t mind being the bigger or the smaller spoon, he goes along with whatever you prefer.
FWB!Sebastian alternates making breakfast with you whenever he stays over. He notices the new coffee machine that mysteriously appears soon after, and he hides his little smile and red cheeks with his hair when you enter the kitchen.
FWB!Sebastian rarely jerks off anymore, he has you now, but when he does, it’s always to the thought of you.
FWB!Sebastian who ends up gravitating more to you whenever you join him and his friends at the Saloon on Friday night. He starts to arrive earlier and stays later just to talk to you more.
FWB!Sebastian doesn’t even notice that his habits are changing, also waking up earlier as a result of your early schedule.
FWB!Sebastian who finally realizes his feelings after some off handed comments from his mom and Sam about how different he acts when he’s around you.
FWB!Sebastian doesn’t want to mess things up so he eventually resolves to just keep the friends with benefits arrangement because he’ll take what he can get.
FWB!Sebastian really can’t stand it though. You consume every moment and every thought, he just wishes that you would feel the same. He starts to become more awkward around you now, and even avoids you sometimes because the butterflies in his stomach become too strong whenever he sees you.
FWB!Sebastian who starts to fuck you gentler sometimes, as if he’s making love to you as a boyfriend instead of what it really is. He presses kisses to your forehead and cheeks tenderly and just wants to hold your hand.
FWB!Sebastian accidentally confesses during a particularly intimate round of sex as he’s finishing, and he runs away when you ask him what he said as the two of you cuddle.
FWB!Sebastian who panics in his room after because he’s really fucked it up this time now, hasn’t he?
FWB!Sebastian really avoids you now, burying himself back into work and sending clipped responses to your texts.
FWB!Sebastian who eventually spills the whole situation to Sam because he just really needs to get it off his chest. Sam verbally hands his ass to him, and encourages him to really confess, because holy shit, everyone’s realized that the farmer is not as happy as they used to be.
FWB!Sebastian feels so guilty when he hears that, he knows he has to fix the situation, so he prepares.
FWB!Sebastian texts you to meet him at his place. When you arrive, he has his bike out and he asks you to go on a ride with him. His palms sweat in his gloves as he drives, and he can smell your scent even through the helmet.
FWB!Sebastian akes you to his spot on the cliff. The view is beautiful that night, looking over Zuzu city, and the sky is clear for all the stars to shine, but he only has eyes for you.
FWB!Sebastian says that the two of you need to talk, but he comes off as too serious, and you think he’s breaking up with you. He panics and confesses his feelings, not following the script he set for himself, but he can’t stand to see you cry.
FWB!Sebastian who hugs you tight after you say you feel the same, he feels so overjoyed. He kisses you, you kiss back, and it really does feel like the two of you are in a movie.
Boyfriend!Sebastian feels like he’s on top of the world when the two of you drive back to the valley, he screams out his happiness as he speeds along the empty highway and the two of you laugh the entire way.
Boyfriend!Sebastian who can’t get enough of the way you smile at him when you get back to his place and remove the riding helmet. He loves the way it grows when he gives you the bouquet he stashed behind a bush.
Boyfriend!Sebastian who races back with you to the farmhouse so he can properly worship you as you deserve, and this time as his girlfriend.
#sdv farmer#farmer x sebastian#stardew valley#sebastian x reader#sdv sebastian#stardew sebastian x reader#sdv sebastian x farmer#sdv sebastian x reader#pheebsfics#sdv smut#sdv sebastian smut#stardew smut#sdv sebastian x female reader
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(Your tags deserved to live on!)
it's insane to me that people can't get past the nuances of rose and mickey's relationship and how they're both good people who don't do right by each other. like this is a show where the main character (allegedly) kills his entire species and you can't get past why two people who started dating in their teens might fuck each other up a bit
#I’ve said it before and I’ll say it forever:#the takeaway from Rose and Mickey’s relationship wasn’t that Rose was bad for Mickey/a bad girlfriend#they were not right for EACH OTHER#Mickey was selfish and it’s heavily implied in EPISODE ONE that he has unfaithful tendencies#so for people to treat him like a poor bb victim suffering beneath Rose’s evil hand = insane#they grew up together. spent their whole lives as best mates#living in government housing#in close quarters without shit to do because shit costs money#so people relatively close in age with even remotely similar interests who are attractive tend to be drawn together#and people date who shouldn’t date — people fuck who shouldn’t fuck#not that this only happens below the poverty line but I’m just saying; given this situation#Mickey and Rose were never a good fit — they were just convenient and *there*#reinforced by the love you have for your mates#there were faults on both sides — and they were crazy young#no Rose wasn’t a great girlfriend to Mickey#but Mickey wasn’t a good boyfriend to Rose either.#they were doomed whether the Doctor showed up or not#let their enduring friendship stand as a testament to the fact that their platonic love was all that mattered in the end#god it drives me insane how people use the Mickey thing as ammo against Rose#when we have multiple examples of Mickey’s faults in S1E1#I feel like it’s all written in a very deliberate way so it feels really obvious#but then again — so was the Tentoo ending and people still be acting like that wasn’t a good ending for Rose#so I don’t know why I still expect any better from the general population#anyway it’s been a shit week to be an American and I’m a bit sensitive right now so don’t mind me
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as someone who is a huge fan of other queer content (like heartstopper and red, white and royal blue), dead boy detectives feels so incredibly different.
despite how much i love those two, they don’t feel like they’re made for queer people.
in a lot of ways, they feel like media made for cishet people about queer and trans people which is fine and doesn’t make it unenjoyable, but dbda has a totally different feel to it.
it feels like queer media made FOR queer people.
they have so much nuance to their characters and don’t shy away from it. charles openly flirts with both edwin and crystal despite the fact that he never says anything about his sexuality and edwin’s backstory doesn’t try to hide the horrifying way that queer people were treated historically and i think that’s really important.
though he is very clearly repressed, he is still unapologetically queer. he showcases his jealousy loudly and there is no doubt in the viewer’s mind that he is queer even for a moment.
same with monty and the cat king. they’re so vibrantly and boldly queer. monty begins flirting with edwin nearly the moment we see him and as does tck. what i really appreciate about tck is his gender nonconformity. i think that’s so important and i honestly really appreciate that they don’t even mention it.
with tck in particular, his actions can be considered rather predatory, but we never really feel like that’s due to his queerness which is FASCINATING because that is a really harmful stereotype of queer people, but it never feels like that’s what they’re going for or like they’re using it to demonize queerness.
with jenny, she says so casually that she’s attracted to women and it’s not even something that they have to discuss again. it’s such an unimportant aspect of her character, but it’s still so unabashedly there. i love that niko doesn’t even say anything about it when she learns, she just accepts her, no questions asked.
even with simon, he very clearly discusses his sexuality in E7 when he tells edwin that he liked him, but he never has to say the words. we just KNOW contextually because he talks around it. he i would argue that he is the only instance of a character discussing shame in their identity and it immediately results in one of the loveliest quotes in the show.
“if you punish yourself, everywhere becomes hell.”
he has spent over a century repressing himself and when he finally tells edwin, the boy he liked and treated terribly because of it, he is immediately told that it is not torture to be queer. he is immediately told that there is nothing wrong with his sexuality.
the confession scene btwn edwin and charles in E7 and the scene in E6 where edwin is TRYING to confess are so fucking important to me. nearly immediately, charles tells edwin that it doesn’t make any difference that he’s queer and that he accepts him. when he does confess, he doesn’t make him feel bad for it. he tells him that he loves him too, but that he can’t say he does in that way right now, but that he’s the most important person in his life and that that will never change.
the scene in E7 where they’re on the roof and edwin tries to apologize for potentially having made things awkward, charles shuts it down immediately. he says “it doesn’t.” and that’s the end of it.
this show exemplifies queerness through a queer light and it’s very clear who the intended audience is for dbda not to sound like i’m hating on the first two pieces of media (rwrb is literally one of my special interests, trust me, i adore them both), but maybe that’s why hs was given a third season and dbda was cancelled within five months of airing. i feel that these two pander to straight people in a lot of ways, but dbda doesn’t. it’s something that is incredibly important to me and i’m really happy about it.
#dead boy detectives#dbda#charles rowland#edwin payne#save dead boy detectives#renew dead boy detectives#revive dead boy detectives#payneland#dead boy detective agency#save dbda#we will save this show#savedeadboydetectives#jenny green#monty finch#the cat king#queer media#this is the importance of good queer media#his story is queer! (astronaut gun) always has been#red white & royal blue#rwrb#heartstopper#queer media analysis#media analysis#dbda meta
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It's weird what you can internalize wrt sex even when you know it has no bearing on you
#personal;#just been thinking about my vulnerability issues and how that's probably part of my issue finding people to fuck me#(the other is just. i don't think i'm attractive enough)#but also just realized i've only ever gotten a partner off once and sure i've had very little sex but damn#that feels bad and/or selfish#like i'm not one who gets off on getting others off but i WANT to get others off bc like. validation ig?#anyway tmi maybe whatever gonna see if i can't sleep more and then maybe drag my ass back to fetlife later
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MAYA, I MANIFESTED MY DREAM LIFE!!!!
Okay, I don't know if you remember me, but I participated in a lot of your challenges and the Pink’s challenge, and I found some success! I shifted to my wr and manifested some things, but I could never do it consistently, and it was really fucking annoying.
So, I took three months off and worked hard, using subliminals every day and going on affirmation rampages. I was doing lucid dreaming methods, SATs, meditations, yoga nidra, reading spiritual books literally my whole summer was dedicated to shifting and the void state. I was eat sleeping and breathing it because I could not continue to live the way I was even I can even consider that living …
So What did I do
I just followed your challenge because college was starting, and I couldn't go back to school without my dream life for the fourth time, fearing I might actually harm myself. So played the fields with this rampage (together in two different tabs).
During the Day
https://youtu.be/aLsn6ZK4RZ8?si=Dt_j7ChLjNsQ6tpV
https://youtu.be/gBD4Owz1GC0?si=icOkN1DoFsqP-adT
During the day, I would live in the end. I created albums for my desired realities, re-read my scripts, revised my void list because I genuinely believed I was going to succeed, watched supercell shifting videos on YouTube, and stared at my vision board, realizing it was going to be my life the next day, and more!
Overnight
https://youtu.be/JwV297pP9aw?si=Sxx-xlhE_owInoxH
https://youtu.be/DKB5I9y8SEg?si=PI-UaNw2m_VUWYy1
What I Manifested
- Master shifting abilities
- Master void state abilities
- Having my WR to be a perfect heaven
- Making this current reality a dream: desired looks, desired body, never gaining weight, revised wealth and family, dream friend group, a social media following, being worshipped and respected, being so beautiful by my own standards, dream home (I have a mountain range that goes through my backyard and a farm on my land, it’s enormous), revised city, only attracting wealthy, tall, attractive men, pretty privilege, 145 IQ, going to an Ivy League, getting rid of my anxiety and depression, getting rid of my health issues, no toxic family, so much money, and revised my name to Bella because I love Bella Hadid (my old name was Audrey), and so much more.
I know it sounds nothing too crazy compared to other people who manifest powers and trillions of dollars, but I can shift anytime I want. I’m going to my singing desired reality and high school musical Dr soon and I am so excited I have hundreds of places to explore. My life here finally has stability, and I’m so happy. Not waking up with stress, nausea, and diarrhea is a blessing. My house is clean, my family members aren’t fighting and calling me names, my siblings and I are close. I audibly gasp anytime I see myself in the mirror. My phone is always blowing up with people asking me for plans when it used to be dry as hell, and people forgot I even existed. Everywhere I go, people tell me I should model, want to pay for what I’m buying, are so kind, open doors for me, want to help me for no reason, give me discounts, ask me on dates… I’m so happy and confused. I don’t know how to feel. I am genuinely so loved and respected, and on top of that, I get to explore the universe of my favorite shows and movies.
I’m so glad I never gave up, even though these three months were hard and my life had gotten worse, I am finally free, my hard work paid off, and I hope everyone else will do the same. We truly are God! I was afraid this community was some big joke and big bloggers were creative writers or just laughing at delusional people like me, but I can confirm it’s very, very real.
My love I am so proud of you ! And yes I vaguely remember you and your first shift you messaged me about :)!
I am happy your hard work paid off as well. I remember when everything seemed so meaningless and delusional as well and I also thought shifting was some big joke to target mentally ill teens, but the reality is we truly are all god and no amount of doubt and struggle will ever change that truth. I hope you enjoy your dream life, and I am happy I could help 💖
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