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How I became The Desk of Alto Clef.
My response to a SCP Group designed around Hate and Bigotry who have targeted me and others in this community.
Nah, man, my daughter is dead.
It has been brought to my attention that there is a group of people on the internet who are fascinated with my fascination of Alto Clef and Meri. Hurtful and yet cute in a way so I think now I'll choose this time and these screen grabs from their discord to explain how I came to be 'The Desk of Alto Clef'.
My Daughter died six years ago and it sent me spiraling deep into the bottom of whatever bottle I could find.
I was completely prepared to take my own life and even had the things to 'finish the job' because my life had no meaning at that point. What was another statistic going to matter anyways, right?
It was in one of these dark, drunk moments with a gun when I fell across the Volgun's video on 'reality benders and you' and fell into a rabbit hole.
Drunkenly I fumbled around the wiki and learned more about this broken man known as Alto Clef.
A man whom I could relate to in my own way. A man who, no matter what he did, could never see his daughter as I will never be able to see mine. So thus, I became a very, very shitty cosplayer.
I like to believe that over the past four years my acting ability has increased to a sustainable level and as much as I joke about things I do try to stay humble about it. Though I like to think I've become better but I digress.
I love the lore of Clef and Meri, on or offsite, to the point that I am weird about it I know, but that's how I stay connected to my daughter. Writing the Deskverse is how I stay connected to my daughter.
I am also autistic which causes me to hyper fixate on Clef as a coping mechanism.
Because of this group of people I have greatly considered leaving the community and going back to my own personal solitude. Acting, Voice Acting, Cosplaying as Clef gave and still gives me something to live for again. I may not be this group's cup of tea but I do like to believe that I have helped others. My main goal has always been to uplift those who need uplifting. I do not want anyone to ever feel how I felt in my lowest and darkest moments.
The main story in the deskverse is about a father and a daughter torn apart by the actions of an abusive mother. My real life story.
I also have ZERO clue as to why I am being involved with misogyny or yuri things. If I have offended you in any way I do apologize.
I do not plan on posting the more 'suggestive' or 'lewd' responses they have made. Overly sexualized content does make me extremely uncomfortable.
This group of people have broken my heart into pieces. Seeing this list of images and names dragging me through the mud has already smashed my unstable self-esteem as it is.
At this time I do not plan on releasing any names associated with all of this because I am honestly tired of reliving the most horrid event of my life over and over because I, for whatever reason, do not fit what this group feels is acceptable of an actor/writer/fan.
I cannot say the same for the others in which they were assaulting.
In summary Alto Clef is an outlet for the pain I live with every day. I can never see, hold, hear, smell, or speak to my daughter. I have scars on my body from her mother that will never allow me to forget that life I had. I will always remember the taste of gunpowder but thankfully my drunk ass was too weak. If your going to be bad at something, be bad at that I suppose.
I will leave all of this with a final image from the copious list and the one that honestly hurts me the most. I am honestly a shy and reserved person and frankly it takes a lot for me to get out of my comfort zone. Not long ago I went to another SCP discord server because I wanted to meet new people and someone in there was awesome. I truly enjoyed my time with this person and just found them amazing. They were kind, open, willing to listen to my ideas, and gushed over Numberonedoggo. I thought I had finally made a new friend on my own. I was apparently wrong.
Art, from some of my favorite artists, was made for the sole reason of mocking me specifically. To laugh at me for finding joy in something that gives me purpose. Something I use to drive away the darkness.
No age, disorder, illness, or reason at all can be acceptable for anyone to act in this way. You are all a mockery of everything the SCP community should stand for.
-TheDesk
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Happier Chapter 6
Disclaimer: I do not own Arcane or any music I link. I only own the concept for this story.
Concept: Isekai Fem Reader turns back time to fix her timeline, but has unforeseen consequences.
Powder Pov
"You really are a little artist. You like your new addition to your army kiddo?" I ask Isha as she colors another toy that Ekko made for her. She nods her head rapidly, not breaking her focus on coloring the toy robot while wearing a smile on her face.
"Good to know you like it." Ekko says, sitting on the other side of Isha, keeping the kid between us, before reaching to wipe some food off of her face.
It's been a few days since that operation happened; five days to be precise. After things calmed down for everyone, Vi and Cait went more into detail about what happened in those mines before leaving to check on how the others were doing, and then report their findings. Apparently some old rich guy from Piltover was running the gang and they were using orphans to work in the mines.
"Did she finish her food?" Dad asks as he walks over our table, making Isha pick up and present her empty plate to Dad, "Good job kid. Looks like you're getting your appetite back." he says as he pats her head which makes Isha giggle before going back to her coloring.
After all the kids from the mines were checked on by doctors, we decided to take Isha with us back home and dressed her since Y/n seemed to really care for her.
'Y/n.'
Their name echoes in my head again. I recall her lying down on the table again. Coming back with uncle's medicine to see a more clear view of her injuries with her clothes cut open. Watching as fragments were removed from the surface level of her body. I didn't get to see much more after Professor Heimerdinger arrived, but just by the look on his face before Ekko and I stepped out of the room, I was able to tell it wasn't good. Even when that Viktor guy arrived, it didn't help ease my nerves.
She had some close calls when it came to some deeper wounds in her back, but they would heal with time. The worse was her leg. They said she may recover, but if she woke up she wouldn't be able to walk right for awhile. Cait offered to house her until then but..... that didn't feel right for some reason. Luckily dad suggested housing her in one of the guest rooms we have available since buying out the old building connecting to ours. It being a more familiar place for her to wake up than in a fancy place was his reasoning.
Uncle Silco and the professor pay visits to check on her condition and make sure her IV is working. We sometimes find Isha checking in on her too.
Speaking of Isha, she's been a bundle of joy for the place. Took time, but eventually when she started getting comfortable she started showing her kid self more. Doesn't cause trouble and if she does it's harmless stuff. Ekko and I have taken over the duty of watching over her; I can see why Y/n cares for her a lot. Only took a few days for me to grow attached to her, and it looks like the same goes for the others. She doesn't talk, but she's expressive enough to convey how she's feeling and actually knows some sign language. Can write too.
"Kid must feel lucky. She's got her own personal attack dog ready to go rabid for her." Benzo says as dad brings the plate behind the bar to clean.
"Tch. More like a reckless bodyguard. Ignored all the thugs in the area and just gave into impulses." Sevika says as she nurses her drink at the bar, sitting near Vi and Cait. All of them off duty.
"I wonder what that's like?," I say sarcastically as I glance at Vi and Cait. Cait giggles a little while Vi gives me slight glare before I look back to Isha, "Take my advice kid, and appreciate it while it lasts. Next thing you know she's gonna get all lovesick for a cutie and start stalking her." That get's a chuckle out of people that hears, since pretty much everyone knows how protective Vi is.
"C'mon Pow Pow, y'know I would do the same for you. AND. I did not become a lovesick stalker. Right, Cupcake?" Vi says and looks to Cait to back her up, but get's a skeptical look instead.
"Mmmm, it's not completely wrong." Cait says making Vi look betrayed and the rest of us smirk.
"What!?"
"Sweetie, did you really think I believed that you would "conveniently" run into me every time I went on patrol around Zaun?"
"......It wasn't every time." Vi says, defeated and slightly embarrassed making us all have more of a chuckle from it.
"I did find it cute though. You also made patrols less boring." Cait says with a kiss to her temple to cheer her up, which makes Vi immediately perk up. The scene makes me smile before turning to look at Ekko.
"Hey, I'm gonna go check on her real quick. Keep an eye on her?"
"Go ahead. I got her." Ekko says and I ruffle the girl's head as I stand up and make my way up a set of stairs.
The walk to her room isn't too far from the bar. We decided it would be best that she was close to check on and just in case she woke up with no one with her.
I open the door to see Y/n still lying down on the bed, not having moved a muscle, the light from a nearby window slightly shining on her. I walk to the side of the bed and go to check her IV to make sure nothings wrong and doesn't need to be switched out. Once that is done I turn to look down at her again, this time much closer, and I take a moment to look her over. I see some of the bandages wrapped over her shoulder and collar bone that sticks out from underneath the blanket and take a quick look under the blanket to make sure her wounds haven't opened up again.
Once I see that she's fine I find myself staying to watch her for a little. Usually I'd find this type of thing weird, especially since I hardly know her, but something about her makes me stay longer than needed. It's comforting. She eased the headaches Ekko and I have been having. At first I would just do a quick check up, but then I started staying longer to just watch her sleep. It wasn't just me either. Sometimes Ekko and I will just stay in here and talk while keeping an eye on her.
I take a glance at the door and listen if anyone is coming before sitting down on the side of the bed. It felt nice to be close to her. It felt.... right.
I slowly reach forward and brush aside a few strands of hair behind her ear and I hesitate before laying my hand gently against her cheek and jaw. After caring for her and keeping her clean there's no longer any smudge of dirt or smog on her face.
"Why do you make us feel this way? Why do those headaches go away when near you?" I whisper, knowing she can't hear me or respond. I get lost in my thoughts before noticing my thumb brushing against her cheek and quickly pull my hand away. Calling my strange behavior there, "What is wrong with me?"
I stand up and quickly go to leave, but I take one last long look at her before closing the door and heading back to the bar. Feeling guilty of my strange behavior that I know I should be stopping.
"Why do I not want it to stop?"
Reader Pov
I feel my senses start coming back to me from what feels like a long sleep. I go to open my eyes, but find them hard to open from a bright light. I raise an arm and try to sit myself up on the bed I am laying on and feel myself struggle slightly to do the simple task.
'Wait. A bed?,' I realize before quickly covering my eyes from the light and open them to see myself in an unfamiliar room. I then notice the unfamiliar large shirt I am wearing and lack of pants. I finally see the light that has been causing me trouble is the sun shining through a nearby window, there's what looks to be a leg brace leaning on the wall near the nightstand and I notice that I am connected to what looks like an IV before taking out the tube connected to my wrist, 'Where am I?'
I remember what happened before falling unconscious in Isha's arms. I slowly shift to the edge of the bed and go to stand up; finding myself struggling slightly with my legs feeling weak. One leg feeling very painful to put weight on, so I hold onto the IV stand for support and make my way towards the nearby window and look out after my eyes adjust to the light. I see the streets of Zaun with people going about their day and kids playing.
"Good morning!"
I jump in shock, instinctively reaching for my gun which isn't there, but calm down once I see Professor Heimerdinger.
"Oh, sorry for frightening you. It's good to see you awake. How do you feel?" he asks in his always joyous tone.
"Uh, yeah. Thank you, I feel fine. Some pain in my back, but mostly my leg. My body feels weak though." I say which get's me a chuckle.
"Well that is expected for someone who has been in a coma for five days. S-"
"Five days!?"
"Yes! Now I must ask that you take a seat on the bed so that I may give you a quick check up." he says and I follow instructions while thinking about how long I was bedridden for.
Heimerdinger first jumps onto the bed and checks my eyes before asking me to lift the back of my shirt to look at the bandages I only now notice were wrapped around my torso. He then drops down to look at my injured leg.
"Um, quick question. Where am I?" I ask as he looks it over.
"Oh right! Don't worry young one, you're safe. Currently you're in The Last Drop, the owner of this establishment was nice enough to house you." he answers which makes my eyes widen.
"Vander."
"Yes! You were in quite a severe condition from your task with the enforcers, but you were rushed here to get help. You're lucky nothing vital was damaged. After removing all the embedded fragments and making sure you were stable, Vander and her daughter suggested housing you here. He said it would be better for you to wake up in a place you're more comfortable with than in the Kiramman estate like Caitlyn had offered," Heimerdinger explains before finally looking satisfied with his examination of my leg, "Well, Y/n, it looks like most minor injuries have healed and the more concerning ones are healing fairly quick. The only one that brings concern is your leg. It took a bad hit and will take awhile for you to recover before you can use it normally again, but don't worry. Viktor and Jace both made a leg brace just for you based off your measurements. Easy to put on too." he explains and I nod my head before looking down at the oversized shirt I am wearing.
"Do you mind telling me where my clothes are?"
"Ah, right, well unfortunately they had to be cut open in order to operate on you without risking making things worse. Your armor also did not survive the blast and was fractured in my places; stopping some fragments from hitting you, but also some of it cracking and stabbing into your back. I don't know what was done with it afterwards," he explains and I nod with a disappointed sigh, "Though I am sure Powder will have some clothes for you. Oh! I need to inform them of you waking up! Wait here." he says before rushing off back out the door he came in. I smile at his antics before my eyes explore the homey room.
It has some simple decorations like lamps, a shelf and a wardrobe. Decide to get lost in my thoughts for a few minutes about the situation I find myself in while I wait.
'I really messed up this time.'
*knock* *knock* I hear before I see the all too familiar blue head of hair before seeing Powder's whole head poke in. I see a smile on her face when she sees me.
"Hey, it's good to see you recovered well," she says as she steps in with folded clothes under her arm and cane held in the other, "These should fit you well, and Heimerdinger said you're gonna need the cane to walk. I hope you don't mind if my clothes don't match your tastes. Oh, and your shoes are just by the door." she says as she sets the cane near the nightstand and hands me the clothes.
I over the simple clothing of a pair of pants and a white collared shirt with long sleeves and smile.
"Thanks. This is fine, and thanks for housing me." I say and notice her shoulders drop slightly to be more relaxed.
"Don't mention it. Plus it wasn't that hard to look after you. Even Isha helped a lot." Powder says and makes my eyes widen.
"Isha's here!? I-Is she okay?" I ask and Powder sets a hand on my shoulder.
"She's fine. We took her in after the doctors looked her and the rest of the kids over. You clearly cared a lot for her so we thought it would be best for her to be here," she explains which makes me sigh in relief, "Now if I were I'd hurry before Isha finds a way to sneak up here herself. Ekko and I can only keep her at bay for so long. By the way, how do you know her anyway?," she asks which makes me freeze, "She told us she doesn't know who you are, but she does really like you now for saving her. She makes sure to check up on you every morning."
'Shit. Did not think about that.'
"I..... I kinda knew her parents. They weren't in the best position to support her, so they gave her up." I make up on the spot.
"Where are they now?"
"They passed away. I didn't know which orphanage she was in, and even if I did I couldn't care for her. My lifestyle would have put her in danger." I continue to build off of the lie.
"Hm, how did you know it was her then?"
"It..... It was a feeling," I lie which get's me a brow raise, "I know. It's weird, but it really was just a feeling. I-I can't explain it." I lie again, knowing it's not hardly gonna work to kill her suspicion.
She stares for a second before nodding and goes to leave, but before she does I see her stop for a second before looking back at me.
"H-Hey, are you gonna need help...... y'know... undressing?" she asks with a light blush on her cheeks and I my own cheeks heat up at the question.
"No-No I-I got it. Thanks for offering though."
"Alright, yeah..... cool. I-I'll see you down there. Just head over here when you're ready." she says, pointing down the hall before shutting the door and I hear her footsteps quickly leave.
I take a few seconds to calm my blush down before I start changing. Turns out, I did not completely have it. The pain on my back making it a little hard to take off the shirt I'm wearing, but I still manage to get it off before changing into the clothes given to me. Honestly it felt kinda weird to wear something that was clean and good quality.
I fold up the sleeves just before my elbows before reaching for the leg brace. Now holding it closer I can see the quality of the brace and a part of me hesitates before strapping it on. Once I make sure it's on correctly I use the cane to stand up from the bed and immediately notice the lack of intense pain in my leg because of the brace.
I awkwardly make my way out of the room, trying to get used to the brace and using a cane, before making my way down the hallway to another door where I hear noise. I walk through and find myself on the 2nd floor of The Last Drop. I spot familiar faces sitting at the bar before heading to the stairs. I try to take a step down, but find it a little difficult with the brace and cane making the movement unfamiliar.
"Need help?" I hear and see Ekko walking up towards me, but doesn't make a move to help until I smile and nod.
'Always a gentlemen.' I think before he helps me balance and walk down the stairs.
"Thanks. Not used to moving around with a cane, let alone a whole leg brace."
"No need to thank me. Does it hurt?"
"Nothing I can't handle, the brace helps a lot. I just gotta get used to it. Name's Y/n by the way."
"Oh right! I'm Ekko, sorry, forgot we haven't met yet." he says sounding a little panicked, making me laugh a little.
"Who doesn't know about "The Boy Savior"?" I ask which makes him groan, making my smile widen.
"Man, and here I thought you wouldn't know about that. I don't know why people call me that."
"'Cause you help people. From what I've heard you always try your best to help people."
"So? A lot of people help people."
"Not as much as you do "Boy Savior"," I say again teasingly which makes him roll his eyes, "Sometimes all people need is for someone to care. It gives them hope." I say as we finally reach the bottom step.
"Well, looks who's finally woken up." I hear Vander say and finally notice all the eyes on me now.
"Mornin'," I say not knowing what else to sayin in the moment, before I notice Isha staring at me from behind Powder's legs which makes me smile, "Hey kid, good to see you're alright."
'Most likely kinda scared after I we-' I don't finish the thought because she comes running from behind Powder and crashes into a lower half; hugging me close, 'Maybe, not.' I thought as I run a hand through her hair.
"She's been waiting for you to wake up for days. Always checkin' up on you to see if you're awake," Vander says as I take a moment to take a moment to hold Isha close, old memories of her death going through my head, "Here, you better eat." he says as he places a plate of food on the counter once Isha pulls away, but still holds the bottom of the shirt I'm wearing.
"You-You didn't have to do that." I say which makes the professor look aghast on his stool.
"Nonsense! After being stuck in bed for so long it's best to have a nice meal to start building back your strength and readjust your body." he says and Isha grabs my free hand before tugging me to the corner of the bar counter where Vi, Cait and Sevika are sitting; insisting that I eat, "See? Even the young child agrees." he says which makes me let out a sigh before sitting down at the counter; Isha trying to climb up the high stool next to me to sit down so Powder helps her up.
"Thank you." I say to Vander and begin eating the fresh meal.
'It's felt like forever since I last ate a hot meal.'
"So, I have informed Vander of your condition. I believe after some rest and not putting too much weight on your leg you will recover in no time." Heimerdinger explains and I nod.
"Thank you again. Uh, how much is the brace gonna cost exactly?"
"Oh, don't worry about that. Free of charge! Viktor was the one who wanted it made and insisted you not worry about any payment."
"Really?" I ask in slight disbelief before continuing when I get a nod, "Huh, I guess that's one less thing to worry about. Just gotta figure out how to get back home." I say as I take another spoonful of food. Though I sense a tone shift in the room.
"About that. I, or more like we, were wondering if you got anyone back home to help you recover. We thought someone would come asking for you eventually, but no one showed up." Vander asks as he picks up a glass to wipe down.
"Oh uh, no," I answer which makes Vander look concerned, "I should be fine though. I could hunker down for a few day." I say as I continue eating.
"And if some gang tries something?," he asks and I stay silent; not able to provide an answer, "Mmhm. You're staying here until you recover." he says, making me choke on some food.
"Taking in two more strays I see?" Silco jokes from across the bar with Benzo letting out a small laugh, as Isha pats my back.
"Wait. No I can't st-" I go to protest, but Vander gives me a look which makes me shut up, and Benzo laughs harder.
"Haha! You still got it, huh Vande'!?"
I sit there in defeat after already being shut down of any protests like a damn child, while the three men break off into their own conversations.
'This isn't fair. He used the "Don't test me" look.' I thought as I hear giggles from Powder and Vi.
"Nice try, but when Dad decides on something like this it's better to just roll over. I've tried." Vi says as she gives me sympathetic look.
"Plus I doubt this kid would let you go by yourself. She'd probably follow you down there and I don't think any of us want that." Powder says as she ruffles Isha's hair and hands her a toy robot.
"Thanks. And I'm sorry for screwing up the whole operation." I apologize, but Sevika scoff and waves it off.
"Whatever, it's fine. Wouldn't be the first time we had someone go off the rails on the team," she says as she and Cait give Vi a quick glance, making the pink head roll her eyes, "Plus it turned out better than expected. That explosion caused a noticeable rumble above ground, so when some enforcers found Chross and his guys come out of a tunnel up in Piltover, they put them into custody." she explains making me curious.
"They ended up in Piltover? I didn't know there were mining tunnels there." I voice my curiosity and Cait jumps in to give an explanation.
"There are a few old ones that have been abandoned. Turns out that's how he moved shipments to the Undercity. After interrogation his thugs broke and admitted to crimes, such as paying off some caretakers at orphanages to stay silent and lie about the whereabouts on the children," she says which makes me glance down to Isha who is now coloring the toy, "and the rest of the gang are scrambling without order. Overall a much better outcome than expected, even given the way it went. Your payment will be given in a few days time after we finish our overall report for our investigation." Cait finishes with a satisfied tone and expression on her face before I hear the door of the bar opening.
"Woah, look who woke up. It was about time." I hear and turn in time to see Mylo get elbowed by Claggor.
"Sorry about him. He's still learning how to behave," Powder says as she leans back against the bar counter next to me, "Y/n, these are my brothers, the gangly one is Mylo and the big one is Claggor. Guys, meet the new residence of The Last Drop, Y/n."
"Wait! She's staying here!? Why!? Isn't she still technically a criminal?" Mylo brings up which makes me glance at Cait.
"Right. I forgot to mention. My mother took a closer look at your record and insisted on pardoning you of charges on your record. It was pretty easy to get when it was obvious you weren't targeting any civilians. Though she recommends putting your skill to good use with the enforcers; if not then she suggests at least getting a mercenary license if you want to operate as a mercenary." Cait explains which makes me even more confused.
"There's licenses for mercenaries?"
"Yes. Though it is no longer as common to have mercenaries working around; Silco suggested making it available so that mercenaries would lean towards a more legal line of work instead of working with gangs, which worked." Cait explains making me wonder just how much has changed with laws.
"You didn't know about merc licenses?," Ekko asks as he walks over next to Isha and sets down a pack of what looks like crayons for Isha, and I shake my head, "It was a pretty big deal. Helped a lot when Piltover and Zaun made peace. The council paid any mercenary willing to help with clearing out gangs in Zaun, even if it was just some info."
"See Mylo, she ain't that bad. Stop being an ass" Claggor says, but Mylo scoffs before looking me up and down.
"Well, at least you aren't dressed in rags anymore. You really need a sense of style." he says with a smug look which makes me look deadpan at him.
"You really gonna judge my look, Eyebrows?" I ask, getting a few chuckles from the others and Mylo looks offended.
"I've been telling him the same thing for years." Powder tells me which gets another scoff from Mylo.
"I am, not, getting my brows done. That's a girl's thing." he says which makes Ekko raise a hand.
"Powder does my eyebrows sometimes." Ekko argues.
"Whatever, that's different. I'm not getting my brows done." Mylo continues to protest as he folds his arms, making Powder roll her eyes.
"Fine. If not the brows, then shave the facial hair," which makes him look aghast at the suggestion, "At least the sideburns."
"What!? No way! They're the main part of my look. It's manly. Right guys? Tell her." Mylo says as he looks at Claggor and Ekko to defend him on this.
They both look at eachother, then me, then back to Mylo before acting like they didn't hear anything. Looking elsewhere around the room, making the rest of us laugh.
"Oh, c'mon guys! It looks good." he tries to say, but doesn't gain any support. He then looks defeated before making eye contact with now my own smug look.
"Shave the sideburns." I say as I finish the last of the food on my plate, before my attention is grabbed by the capsule contraption Claggor is holding. Is that a flower?
"What's with the flower?" I ask which makes Claggor smile.
"Glad you asked," he says as he brushes past a disgruntled Mylo and sets it on the counter, "This is a hybrid flower to help get fresh air into the Undercity. It's supposed to be able to survive and produce air, even with all the gasses from the fissure." he says as he twists and pulls some things which gives a demonstration on the flower taking in the fissure gasses.
"What a brilliant idea!" Heimerdinger says enthusiastically.
'Mylo and Claggor working with plants? Never would have expected that.'
"Buuuut?" Powder asks with a slight head tilt, making Claggor sigh.
"But it's not fully working as expected. We got it to start feeding off the fissure gasses, but it's not working out fully as expected. They survive, but won't grow and can't produce enough air down here." he explains as Isha taps on the glass of the capsule.
'What about the tree? That somehow survived.'
"Tree?" I hear Ekko ask and turn to see him and Powder both looking at me curiously.
'Oh shit. I was mumbling again.'
"Oh, u-uh nothing. Sorry I was ju-"
"What tree?" Claggor now asks Ekko.
"Y/n said something about a tree." Ekko says, making Claggor and Mylo look to me. Claggor looking very interested, making me slightly nervous.
'Do they not know about it?'
"Uh, y'know. That one tree in the underground? Has some plants growing around it? Why don't you take samples from those?" I ask, but they look confused, "I guess that's a no."
"A tree? What tree? Where?" Claggor asks, now leaning onto the bar.
"It's not in plain sight. It's hidden in some abandon place, probably where maintenance used to be for the old pipes or something."
"W-Wait. So it's like an actual tree? How big is it?"
"Pretty big. I'd say it's been growing down there before any of us were born, maybe even longer than that."
"An actual tree. Can you show me where it is? Maybe if Mylo and I study some samples and the soil, then we can make a hybrid that can actually work for the Zaun." Claggor asks with hope in his voice and eyes."
"Su-"
"Woah, hold on," Vi says with a raised hand, "I don't think you should be walking around with your leg right? You just woke up." Vi says with concern.
"It's fine. I just gotta make sure not to put too much weight on," I say and turn to Heimerdinger, "Right?"
"Hmm, usually I would say you should rest, but I am also fascinated by this recent discovery. If the location of this tree is not hard to get to, then I think your leg should be fine."
"Not hard at all. Just a walk through some pipes and you're there, though I hope you don't mind getting your shoes wet." I say to Claggor and Mylo.
"As long as there's an actual tree, then it's fine by me." Claggor says and Mylo just shrugs his shoulders.
"Cool. I'll come too. Ekko?" Powder asks and gets a nod before looking at Isha, "And I'm guessing you're gonna wanna come too, huh?" Powder asks and Isha excitedly nods.
Vi then groan as she leans back into her seat.
"Maaan, I wanna see the tree too. Instead I need to go on patrol again." Vi says disgruntled and Cait comforts her with a shoulder rub and Sevika rolls her eyes.
"We can go see it another day Sweetie. Speaking of patrol, we better head out. Stay safe on your trip." Cait says as she pays for the drinks before leaving with a disappointed Vi and Sevika.
I stand up from my seat before looking down at my hip, remembering my lack of weapons.
"You guys wouldn't happen to have my stuff?" I ask, Isha perks up as she jump off her stool and rushes to the backroom, making Powder and Ekko chuckle.
"Yeah, about that. Isha found her way to them, so I hope you don't mind. We were supposed to clean them before you woke up." Powder says, making me raise a brow at her before Isha comes rushing back out with her arms full and wearing two helmets.
She looks at me expectantly as I see she made some cosmetic changes to my gear. Blue and green being the most colors that stand out. My shovel having a smiling face with shark teeth on it, my plain holster now being a mix of blue and green, my revolver having some stars and smiley faces with numbers on the spinning chamber, my gas mask has some little markings added where they could fit, and my helmet is much more colorful with bunny ears on the front. Looking at the colorful gear makes me smile as I pick up my helmet from atop Isha's head.
"I like it," I say before putting it on, "How does it look?" I ask
"Somehow, even more scary than before." Ekko says making me nod in approval before reaching to put on the rest of my gear while Claggor and Mylo discuss with the professor about the potential of their hybrid plants.
I do kinda struggle with reaching around with my gun holster before I feel my hand brush against another and turn to see Ekko.
"Let me help with that," he says as he helps me get the holster around and before I know it he helps with buckling it too; I feel a slight heat on my cheeks from the action, "That good?"
"Yup. Thanks," I say and Ekko nods before I take my gun and shovel and strap them on my hips, then put on my gas mask. Only then do I remember one more important thing missing, "Did you happen to find a journal on me too?" I ask, making Powder perk up.
"Oh right! Sorry," she says before reaching into her jacket and holding it out to me, "Don't worry, I didn't look in it. Just thought you'd want it somewhere safe." she explains and I nod before taking and pocketing it.
'It's best for you to never look in it.'
"Thanks. So I guess we can head out now?" I ask and get nods from everyone and Isha grabs my hand and pulls me towards the doors.
"Dad! We're heading out to go see a tree!" Powder says and get's a nod from Vander.
"Stay safe out there, and don't lean on your leg too much Y/n." Silco says before the three men go back to talking.
As we leave and Isha holds my hand in hers, I can't help but have a nice warm feeling in my chest.
'.....Maybe this isn't so bad.'
Ekko Pov
"Hey, you okay?" I whisper to Powder after noticing her lagging behind the group. All of us now walking through an old pipeline that supposedly leads to the tree Y/n has mentioned. Isha enjoying the the walk in the water, while our shoes are ankle deep in water.
"I am, but.... I don't know. This is just weird."
"You think it's a setup? She seems fine to me"
"No, I don't, but that's the problem. This whole thing feels too fine. Feels too right for someone we just met yesterday. Look at them," she says as she gestures forward at the rest of the group. Bantering about things that come to their minds. I see Y/n, her mask now off and attached to her holster, say something that makes Mylo and Claggor laugh, "She fits in. She fits in too well. Mylo would usually be stumbling over his words when met with a cute girl, but instead they're just joking and ribbing each other like they've known each other since forever." she says, making me sigh.
"I know. I was surprised when Mylo was actually able to let out a sentence without a voice crack." I say jokingly, making Powder slightly glare at me and give me a nudge.
"I'm serious. It's weird, but it's good weird. Even you and I have stayed in her room because it felt nice to just be there with her. You know that's not normal," I remember the times we'd spend in that room, using Isha as an excuse of being there sometimes because she wanted to be there, but I know Powder and I enjoyed Y/n being in the same room as us, "She makes me forget that she's a stranger. We all have friends, but we have a pretty tight knit group of people we really really care for. When I saw the condition she was in that day Vi rushed her in; I never felt that worried before. I thought she was gonna die and that made me want to cry. Even now, I still hardly know her, but it just feels right to be with her. She's hiding something and that makes me feel really upset, and I shouldn't be." Powder finishes airing out her thoughts and finally takes a deep breath. Making me wrap an arm around her.
"You're not wrong. I've been questioning it too.... but is it that bad? Maybe she just fits in really well with us?," I try to argue, but then immediately sigh in defeat to myself, knowing that's not it, "Never mind, I'm just lying to myself. I feel it too. That weird pull to her. It makes me want to protect her."
"Exactly! Whenever I think about how she's hiding something, I really wanted to look in her journal but held myself back. It's wrong, but it feels right. I-I think I see it in the others too. What-What's happening to us?"
"I don't know."
'A part of me doesn't want to know. Just accept it.'
"There just up ahead, it should be there." Y/n says as she points to the light at the end of the tunnel. A smile on her face that brings back that comforting feeling and I feel Powder relax under my arm as we catch up with the group.
Once we finally reach the end I blink to adjust to the sunlight and stare in shock at the actual living tree.
"It's real." I say looking at it in awe.
"Amazing! To think that life somehow found a way to live deep down here underground. Imagine what it must have gone through to adapt to it's conditions!" Heimerdinger says looking at it in awe.
Claggor quickly goes up closer to it with Mylo and the professor following close behind. Isha splashes around the area, she looks to be having fun playing in the water and looking at the insects.
"It's beautiful. How did you find this place?" Powder asks Y/n, who is keeping a close eye on Isha with a smile on her face.
"Just wandering around. Eventually stumbled upon this place one day." she says, but I see her fiddling with her shovel handle. I ignore the sign of nervousness and turn back to the tree.
"I can't believe no one knew about this place. It's like a sanctuary."
"A sanctuary for hope," Y/n says as she glances at me, "Even in the roughest conditions. Life finds a way to thrive. Kinda like Zaun." she says and turns back to the tree. I catch myself admiring her in scenery, apparently a little too long because I feel Powder nudge me slightly and give me a knowing smirk. It's then that we see some slight shine onto her eyes, making her blink and rub at them.
"Damn light." she says as she raises a hand over her eyes and blinking a lot, having a hard time to adjust.
"You really aren't that good with light are you? What's up with that?" Powder asks as Y/n moves to a more shaded area.
"I'm just not used to it. I've spent most of my life in the deep end of the Undercity, so light isn't really a thing I'm used to." she says making me raise a brow.
"You've had to have come up from there at least sometimes right? When was the last time you left?" I ask curiously, and also some concern for the health of her eyes.
"Besides yesterday, it's been years. Last time was when that whole speech about peace between Piltover and Zaun happened on that bridge," she says making both Powder and I stare at her in shock and horror, "What?"
"Y/n. You haven't been to the surface in eight years!?" Powder asks in concern, making Y/n nervous as she helps Isha up from the water after she slipped.
"No. Too busy dealing with gangs honestly. Never really kept up with Zaun," Y/n says as she wipes some dirt off Isha's face, "Wake up, eat, hunt down gangs, sometimes wipe them out and if I'm lucky I get a good amount of sleep. Rinse and repeat." she finishes explaining making me connect some dots.
"That's why you look so confused about laws and the way Zaun is now. You've been completely out of the loop," I say, getting a nod from Y/n, "So you haven't seen how Zaun is now? The markets? Stores? Community? Nothing?"
She looks hesitant and too embarrassed to answer, even getting a sympathetic look from Isha.
'She has been living in the past. Literally.'
"Okay. No, we're going on a different trip." Powder says, sounding slightly upset, as she walks up to Y/n, grabs a hand and starts dragging her back to the pipe with Isha following close behind. Y/n gives me a pleading look to help her, but I shrug my shoulders. A part of me also wanting to see where this goes.
"But-But what about the tree and the others?" Y/n asks making Powder roll her eyes, before tugging Y/n forward almost causing her to fall and looping her arm with her own, holding her close to support her and help her walk.
"They're too busy getting samples and admiring the tree, they'll be fine. We, are going to give you a tour around Zaun."
"You do-"
"Shut up. You don't have a choice. Come on you two." Powder calls back to Isha and I. I quickly catch up them and pick up Isha from behind and place her on my shoulders as we follow behind the two. Powder continuing to drag the reluctant girl. That feeling of everything being right, emerging again.
I don't fight the feeling this time.
Hope you enjoyed reading. Sorry if there are grammar mistakes.
#arcane au#yandere arcane#yandere arcane x reader#yandere claggor#yandere ekko#yandere mylo#yandere powder#yandere silco#yandere vander#yandere vi
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Spy x Family Ch. 108: Fear
Don't get me wrong, that panel with Twilight remembering his friends was beautiful. I think he feels nostalgic for that connection with other people. However, I think what really caught my attention in this chapter was Melinda.
Come on, look at this:
Look at this face of terror. And she was just remembering her husband's eyes!
A long time ago, when we just met Melinda, I wrote this theory about her being afraid of her husband. Today, it was finally confirmed.
I feel so sad for her. Melinda has probably been carrying this alone for a long time. I doubt she's shared her fears with any friends or family members because, who would believe the illustrious political leader could be an abusive man? This is especially true if there's no actual physical violence in the relationship. However, like I said before, violence is more than that.
Something tells me that the violence in their relationship is mostly psychological. Donovan Desmond uses his authority to tell Melinda what to do, to create fear, to keep her away from their children.
Melinda appears as such a composed woman who has her life together in front of others, and only someone as emotionally perceptive and caring as Yor would notice something is wrong. There's a shame component in abusive relationships: "How did this happen to me? I used to be so strong and brave," combined with disbelief: "Am I overreacting? Is he really that bad? Why am I afraid of him if he hasn't really done anything to me?"
Hopefully, in time, Melinda will realize that fear is not only her responsibility; even if her husband wasn't physically abusive, his behavior caused her fear.
Without a doubt is a complicated issue, which brings me to something that will probably complicate things even more:
Yup, Twilight.
I'll admit that this is the first time that I felt very uncomfortable with what Twilight is about to do, but that's exactly the point. Good fiction/literature is suppose to move something within us, even if at times, it makes us feel uncomfortable.
You probably imagine why: Melinda is a person in dire need of therapy. She deserves (and needs!) a true professional and instead, she getting someone who is only trying to gather information.
HOWEVER...
Time and again, Twilight has shown that despite his line of work, he'll always try to do the right thing and the least amount of harm. So, I'm hoping he will apply that in this specific situation. My guess is that it will start as a way to get information (his classic "for the mission") but then, as Melinda opens up, he will actually give her good advice and hopefully empower her, as a real therapist would do!
Something else to keep in mind is that Melinda story of domestic violence could trigger Twilight himself in some way, given his own family history. We will have to wait to see how that goes.
Bonus
A final note on Melinda's beliefs in occultism: it makes sense.
I won't comment too much on the specific meaning of the cards because my knowledge is limited and I'm skeptical about that. But I will say that it makes sense that someone with so much fear and uncertainty in her life would believe in something that would bring her reassurance that everything will be okay or try to know the future in order to protect herself. (I really want to give Melinda a hug.)
On the other hand, you know who doesn't believe in that?:
Yup, our dear Becky, who is one of the most authentic character in sxf, who is protected and loved by her parents and Martha. That makes sense too.
#spy x family#twiyor#loid forger#yor forger#sxf#anya forger#loidyor#Melinda Desmond#spy x family analysis#spy x family meta#spy x family manga#sxf manga
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@grievingbovine I am always happy to gush about Paul ;w;
Also I feel like... I'm not sure if it's more "codependency isn't always bad" or "codependency is a term we've grown to use too liberally when what should actually be the defining factor isn't the behaviors involved but whether or not those are actually hurting the people involved" or something in between or adjacent to that. It also feels like there might be kinda two definitions people use interchangeably? One being the more medical term and the other a looser thing of like, deeply dependent on each other.
But semantics aside I know what you mean, and yeah.
It is, generally speaking, unhealthy to be SO dependent on a SPECIFIC person that you can't live without them. Cam and Pal post-explosion had a very unique situation, whereas for most cases in real life, it's better to at least like... need SOMEONE, a purpose, a cause, but also be capable of seeking a new one if you lose that, after time to process and grief. A Camilla whose whole life revolved around Palamedes but didn't get him back learning to live again for Nona, as a hypothetical, or Harrow who would not let herself survive alone but can live for God and for Gideon and for Alecto and for the memory of those lost to conceive her and who may find other purposes still. Ofc no one is arguing Harrow is healthy about that, but like, if you CAN'T find an internal sense of worth, a purely external one is still infinitely better and healthier than none!
It feels very silly but a straight up life-changing thing for me as someone who does the same shit was the anime Gurren Lagann throwing around the phrase, "believe in the me who believes in you." Over time it morphed into "believe in the you that I believe in", and ultimately into having genuinely self-assurance, but taking even one or two of those steps is like... YEAH? Yeah! You know? External validation can be so meaningful and powerful, and isn't antithetical to internal by any means. If you can find it in even a handful of different sources, even better. A thing I try to tell people a lot when it comes to mental health too is you don't have to Get Better to get BETTER. It's not "you're unhealthy and must be fixed" or "you're 100% healthy in all ways". Less unhealthy and more functional than you were is amazing and to be celebrated actually!!!
But at the same time?
Ya know, no, I agree, I DON'T think it's a bad thing to need to NOT be ALONE. I understand the importance of being capable of surviving alone, at least long enough to seek new connections. And living for a person or cause is always easier than dying for them ("you could have lived for her, but you didn't know how"...), especially if you're living for their memory after they're gone, but people should try to do it anyway! But to just..... want to be devoted to someone? To thrive on supporting or caring for other people???
That's not what I'd call "toxic codependency", that's humans being a social species. Hell, that's looking at stories and seeing how many supporting characters are vital to helping a hero succeed and deciding "that sounds awesome actually! Not everyone needs to be the hero, I would love to be a supporting character!" Especially when you're not losing sight of your own needs in the process.
Like... Sacrifice and martyr mentality can be horrible destructive things that do more harm than good, but sacrifice is also objectively a major way people show love. Parents doing without a little more to make sure their kids get something nice, someone doing a chore they don't like because they know their partner hates it more, etc. The difference between "my needs aren't important, I'm not important, I'll always prioritize others because I don't take care of myself in general" and "I have weighed the pros and cons and decided that I can handle this and wish to put someone else first in this situation" is not always apparent from the outside but it's an extremely important distinction. There's a difference between being needlessly reckless and hard on yourself versus making a decision to achieve an end you want even though it costs you something.
Cam trying to hide how rough carrying Pal was on her wasn't her being needlessly reckless, it was her being a stubborn bitch who knows she's tough as hell. If anything people have more grounds to criticize her going against Pal's interests and wishes by not giving him information he needed to make properly informed decisions! To think that he was in any way taking advantage of her when she'd have found a way to kick his ass if he'd tried to force her to stop is wild lmao. (Not to mention Pal literally killing himself— he was still Around but objectively dead all the same!— in the "dying for someone is the cruelest thing you could do to them" book. Like he ain't making big sacrifices fueled by his love for and trust in her too smh.)
And honestly? Yeah that does sound like the kind of thing that could save the world. Our world would be a better place with less people striving to be main characters and more people eager to support each other. More people should be saying "No you will let me help you, you son of a bitch. Don't you dare tell me it's Too Much." >:( So many people are afraid of Being A Burden but more people need to understand— from the perspective of the person with that fear and as friends wishing to help someone who has that fear— that only the person offering help can decide what is A Burden to them! It's not the other person's decision to make!
Palamades didn't have a right to tell Camilla not to push herself to keep him around when that was her choice, and anyone fearing their loved ones sacrifice too much for them don't have a right to tell them to love them less, either. Sometimes— often, really— the alternative is worse. And part of me has to wonder if some people are averse to acknowledging that because if they did, then they'd have to acknowledge that letting someone else help you can be actively beneficial to them, and constantly refusing to ask for or accept help is in turn actively depriving them of something that would help them too. <.< Too bad everyone, gotta let people love you.
Locked tomb hot takes:
Insisting that the birth of Paul is only a tragedy because of the uneven power dynamics between Palamedes and Camilla as Necro and Cav invalidates Camillas autonomy and undermines her as a character capable of making her own decisions. It also undermines Palamedes constantly checking for consent. He understands more than most that there is an uneven power dynamic and actively works to respect her autonomy as much as he can while also respecting their bond/positions as necro and cav.
In a world where those who identify as men have no natural power over those who identify as women or neither, we can not apply the same cisheteronormative expectations of male behavior to male characters.
Camilla made every. Single. Choice. Willingly. She had reasons for it, and Palamedes respected that more than readers seem to. We get plenty of examples.
"What would you do if you discovered Camilla was a murderer?”
“Help her bury the body,” said Palamedes promptly.
“Sextus.”
“I mean it. If Camilla wants someone dead,” he said, “then far be it from me to stand in her way. All I can do at that point is watch the bloodshed and look for a mop. One flesh, one end, and all that.”
GtN chapter 30
NtN chapter 17
The relationship between these two may be codependent, but it's predicated on trust and consent. The whole way through. This is the life Cam wants to live. Becoming Paul was what *she wanted*.
I find it strange that some people think they know what's best for her more than she does, just because she's a cavalier.
#hello i am#infuckingcapable of speaking in less than 40 pages apparently#but many thought....#I am just Nona okay. Bursting at every seem with love and also maybe I don't know what it means but that won't stop me. Always spread love#and hope little by little it does help save the world#(minus the part about also being the world lmao)
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Dear author, I’m so sorry that someone plagiarised your work especially since you work so hard on your stories 💔😞
We want to help the plagiarised book get taken down so can you please share the link?
If enough people report, the fanfiction site admins will finally listen and take down the plagiarised book, instead of the plagiarism claim being buried.
I hope this issue gets resolved quickly and I hope you have a better day.
UPDATE! Based on this and that and also this.
Thank you, anon. I appreciate your words, but as I stated in one of my previous posts, Wattpad reports are finicky. I believe at this point, we're at day thirteen of dealing with this plagiarizer and day four of it being public and yet despite it all, the plagiarizer has still yet to budge.
So, I thought I'd give another update and give the information we discovered in our findings. As to what we know is copied and from who. Keep in mind, one of these four copies stories has already been taken down and done with. I'll specify which in a moment.
Before I proceed, if you happen to be one of the original writers mentioned in this post and you want your portion removed from this post for whatever reason, let me know. I do not want to upset anyone, except the plagiarizer. At this point in time, I care little for their feelings on the matter when they've had plenty of time to make things right.
The plagiarizer: Kristynaka1
FIRST.
Obviously, the first story that was discovered was mine, with all the information linked in the posts at the very top. I was made aware of this by the inbox from a kind reader. Ever since then, I've been dealing with this plagiarizer.
My mutuals and I found it weird that somehow, the plagiarizer had relatively good grammar with few mistakes in the story. Yet every little note or message they sent, had many spelling mistakes and was sometimes difficult to read. It was inconsistent and strange, and we couldn't make sense of it until we had a theory which some readers in the comments here have already suggested. We theorize that the plagiarizer began to use AI.
Of course, we can't prove this but how else would a user who can't format and type proper messages be able to write whole paragraphs that are actually legible and understandable?
ChatGPT was available to the public sometime in 2022. Before 2022, many of their "stories" were copy and pastes from Tumblr. After 2022, there were differences in the copied stories that made it harder to find the original story and connect it to the original writer. Differences in writing that I doubt the plagiarizer wrote themselves if we go by their messages like:
So yeah. Onto the evidence.
SECOND.
After a few days, one of my mutuals began to suggest searching for the origins of other stories as they doubted any of the posts belonged to the plagiarizer. Low and behold, we found three others. The first of which belonged to @monst and their post. Just by comparing the first paragraph was enough to confirm that.
I won't go into too much detail as the links pretty much say all you need when you actually look at the evidence.
THIRD.
Not even an hour later, we found the second copied story from that oneshot book. Thankfully, there were only two stories there, so there aren't any more copied parts from that series they claim is theirs. The original is @ppsycho and their post. This one again looks like a direct copy, even the image is the same.
FOURTH.
This is the one that was already deleted, thankfully. So there is not many good screenshots I can present, except one before it was gone. So the original writer is @mint-yooxgi and their post.
Here is the only screenshot I have of the wattpad version, just to showcase that it did in fact exist, and it was copied.
So yeah, that's everything for now. If you check out the plagiarizer's profile and recognize the other stories I did not name, please let me know. We thought we found one of them on Quotev, but it wasn't.
Please continue commenting discouragements and reporting the account!
I think I'll leave this off with something I typed last night in a chat:
In whatever way this ends, know that it will end badly for the plagiarizer. They can choose to ignore, but that won't make everything go away. People will remember, I will remember. If they go radio silent and try to forget everything but keep the stories up, comments will still be there. If they try to delete the comments, new comments will just be made. The comments will serve as warnings to others that might stumble across their account, and it will immediately make them click off the account or story because no one wants to read a plagiarized story. The account we see now will just be empty of real readers, so it will remain a miserable little place where each comment will serve as a reminder as to why plagiarism is bad.
Even if they do decide to delete and make another account yet again, whether they decide to copy the same stories they did before or pick entirely new writers to prey upon, it doesn't matter. Readers will either recognize them from before or new readers will notice the plagiarism taking place. It doesn't matter what they do. They will be found and dealt with in some way, shape, or form.
I hope those two or so years of small internet fame were worth it while they lasted.
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unfortunately I do have more to say about wwdits.
I think one of the most egregious things about the development of the show over the seasons is the tonal shift. I was watching it from the beginning to convince myself I wasn’t crazy for feeling the first three seasons were better, and I felt vindicated.
It was always a dark comedy, but it wasn’t always a zany dark comedy. It had been grounded in real, everyday life. The vampires prey on a LARP group, the vampires ride a late night bus to go to a city council meeting, Nandor tries for citizenship, etc. I think once they started introducing a slew of supernatural creatures like a monster-of-the-week a la carte, the show became increasingly less focused and outlandish. There are episode I don’t like even in seasons 2 and 3 that are emblematic of this shift. The siren, the gargoyles, the troll—they just feel out of place in a story that is supposed to focus on out-of-time vampires and how they engage with the modern world. They aren’t really adding anything to the characters or the plot when they appear either. They just make a flashy CGI appearance and give some quippy line, which ultimately eats up time where our main cast that we actually care about could otherwise be on screen, doing things. And then there was a point in time where this show just did not allow itself any more sentimental moments between characters. These moments, for me, made for refreshing moments between comedic situations. It balanced the humanity in all of the main cast. But the show opted out of those moments, and it just became a back-to-back comedic situation with less and less interesting character moments to look forward to. Anyway, I just find it kind of sad that the writers completely detonated all of the characters’ inner emotional lives by the series finale. I liked to see Nadja bored in her marriage and pursuing this lustful encounter with Gregor through reincarnated generations. I liked to see Colin challenged by another energy vampire undermining his territory. I liked to see Guillermo struggling with his fractured relationship with his family, his discomfort in his own sexual identity, and his need to cling on to this group of vampires that disrespect him if only to find family and personal liberation in their company. I liked Nandor being so disconnected from modernity that he became listless and depressed and lonely and clung on to the idea that he might make himself human again. I liked the romance that the writers were building literally textually and in all of their marketing material from season 3: that Guillermo (at least) had these unrequited and very frustrating feelings for Nandor and how that affected their relationship with each other. I liked the idea of Laszlo forming these personal connections with both Sean and Colin, even if I found their conclusive arcs to be lackluster, strange, or unpalatable (baby Colin to weird co-parent Colin was a bizarre arc.) I liked the idea of Nadja wanting power and community because of the impoverished, desolate conditions she grew up under (especially the class dynamic of marrying Laszlo and how that could be at times a schism in their relationship), even if the writers did not care to expand upon this. The potential just drives me crazy. I can’t believe they opted out of tying up any of these emotional hooks. I think it might drive me crazy forever.
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DENIAL IS NOT A RIVER IN LUKOLALAND
⚠️DISCLAIMER: This is Lukolaland only. Skip if you don't believe.
Denial is a river in LUKOLALAND?
This has to be a joke, right? Some responses that I have received on my latest posts on TT and Tumblr leave me perplexed. Let me make something clear: I’m not here to convince anyone of anything. You have the right to believe whatever you want, that’s your prerogative. However, this is a Lukola space. It’s a space that exists to celebrate their connection, to nurture it from afar, because it shines brightly and is uniquely beautiful.
I don’t know them personally. I can only judge from what I’ve seen and heard, and I fully acknowledge that my perception is biased. My interpretations come from the way I read into their actions, their words, and their patterns. What I share here isn’t fact, it’s speculation based on observation. The only thing I know for sure is that I don’t know what’s really going on.
First and foremost, they are colleagues and FRIENDS. They’ve said that multiple times, and I believe them. For those who doubt their friendship, I don’t know what to tell you. That’s the foundation here. If you don’t even believe in their bond as friends, this probably isn’t the space for you.
But here’s where it gets complicated: they’re not just platonic friends. You may have missed it, but the signs are there, publicly available. You just need to pay attention. I’m not talking about outlandish theories; I’m talking about what’s right there if you’re willing to see it.
I believe they’re in love with each other. As for their current situation? I’m not certain. But the level of plausible deniability in their story doesn’t make sense to me. Maybe it does to you, but for someone who thinks in layers, patterns, double entendres, and undertones, someone who loves words and has studied communication and PR, this whole narrative is anything but straightforward.
Leaving this much space for misinterpretation is a choice. If they wanted to shut this down entirely, they could’ve done so with clarity and finality. It’s not that they can’t make themselves understood without being misconstrued, they absolutely can. But they haven’t.
It’s wise to keep a level of doubt, it maintains objectivity and prevents overreach. However, when coincidences stack up and patterns emerge, it becomes increasingly unlikely that they’re all mere misunderstandings or products of plausible deniability.
The more coincidences there are, the less likely they are to be unrelated.
On their own, one or two could easily be explained away, “just friends,” “PR,” or “fans reading too much into it.”
When similar themes arise repeatedly over months or years (e.g., their timing, shared themes, subtle nods to one another), the likelihood of them being mere coincidence diminishes.
The concept of plausible deniability hinges on actions that could be explained in multiple ways. However, the more layers of ambiguity and deniability built into their interactions, the more intentional it feels.
The subtleties of their public dynamic suggest a shared awareness of fan interpretations. They know how their actions are perceived. To repeatedly engage in behaviors that could be "misunderstood" suggests either: a) Intentional messaging within safe boundaries. b) A significant lack of care, which doesn’t align with how thoughtful and calculated they seem to be.
Take Nicola’s recent Times interview as an example. She could have ended all speculation right there,
“A lot of people really want me to marry Luke,” she says with a laugh. “We have this gorgeous friendship. We have such a love for one another and this experience that I’ll never have with someone else again. Isn’t it gorgeous that a man and woman can have that sort of relationship with one another?”
but she didn’t. Why? There must be a reason. And no, it’s not just PR. PR campaigns don’t operate on layers of plausible deniability that stretch across years, interweave with personal moments, and rely on such specific timing.
Isn’t it strange that for two people who have been so close, their social interactions have significantly decreased compared to before? Over the past two years, especially after the world tour, they appeared to have solidified a deep friendship. If the intent is to disengage fans from the idea that they might be secretly in love, wouldn’t it be wiser to interact more naturally and perhaps even acknowledge each other’s perceived partners?
From a strategic perspective, a like, a follow, or a simple interaction on social media could have gone a long way in dismantling the Lukola narrative. Such actions would feel natural for close friends, especially ones under public scrutiny. Their reluctance to adopt this approach only adds to the curiosity. Why not lean into a strategy that would be less detrimental and more effective at quelling speculation?
Perhaps they are more active on private social media accounts, but publicly, the absence of these gestures stands out. If the goal truly is to clarify their relationship and put fan theories to rest, this perceived distance feels counterproductive. The choice to refrain from such actions, at least for now, is, at the very least, curious. Could it be that there’s a reason they haven’t done so yet?
Both Luke and Nicola have had ample opportunities to firmly address and deny the Lukola narrative. While they’ve made passing comments about being friends, these have lacked the clarity and directness that would fully quash the speculation. Why leave the door ajar if they truly wanted to shut it?
Their reduced interactions seem to have coincided with the conclusion of the promotional period for Bridgerton. During promotions, they were actively engaging with each other and the fandom, fostering the image of a close bond. The sudden change afterward could indicate a deliberate decision to recalibrate public perceptions of their relationship.
The decrease in public interactions after the “papgate” could be their way of managing fallout from the incident, yet it raises questions: Why would two close friends need to distance themselves so noticeably? It suggests a calculated retreat to reduce speculation. However, this strategy seems counterproductive, as the abruptness of the change has drawn more attention. A gradual shift, paired with natural acknowledgments of their respective supposed personal lives, might have been more effective.
It’s possible they’re still VERY close privately but have chosen to limit their public interactions to avoid misinterpretation, or for privacy reasons. If so, this deliberate choice to create distance publicly could point to a deeper connection they’re trying to shield.
This brings us back to patterns. If you observe their public interactions, their timing, their word choices, the double meanings, they’re not random. These coincidences pile up to the point where it’s hard to believe they’re all meaningless. Their bond transcends the boundaries of PR, platonic friendship, or even ordinary relationships.
If you reason in layers, you’ll see it too. The amount of room they leave for interpretation is extraordinary. It’s not just about what they say, it’s about what they don’t say. It’s about the undertones, the pauses, the way they navigate questions, and even the things they choose to share (or not share) on social media. All of this seems to be deliberate. The picture is larger and more intricate than it seems on the surface.
For example: Am I truly supposed to believe that Nicola, who has a higher degree in English and a major grasp of language, would post a Scrabble board with so many elements that could be interpreted through a Lukola lens purely by coincidence? Yes, she’s an avid player of word games, but let’s examine the board itself. It reflects competent but not advanced gameplay, logical and adhering to Scrabble rules, yes, but lacking the level of complexity, strategy, and nuanced word choice you’d expect from someone of her linguistic caliber or from a player displaying their skill.
For me, this was never just about showing off her love of Scrabble. It felt intentional, like an intended message rather than a casual post. If the goal was simply to share her hobbies or an aesthetic moment, she could’ve easily posted a picture of herself playing Scrabble, perhaps with a pint of Guinness in hand. Or she could’ve showcased a more advanced board to reflect her skills or creativity. Instead, she chose this specific board with these specific words, words that align so conveniently with a narrative many of us have come to associate with Lukola.
And let’s not forget her self-awareness. Why would someone who knows how deeply her posts are analyzed by fans continue to share things that are repeatedly misconstrued? If she didn’t want the association, why add layers of ambiguity, such as the now infamous “the very demure, very mindful” quote? What was the reason?
Just two days ago, she posted a photo in her best of 2024 the phrase "if you know, you know." Let’s be honest, how many Lukola edits have we seen that riff of "when you know, you know"? If this wasn’t related to that, what exactly was the point of the “random” quote? Is it public knowledge or is it something only some know? Nicola is anything but random on social media. She’s chronically online, she’s clever, and she’s incredibly aware of the narratives circulating around her.
These patterns, Scrabble boards, cryptic quotes, wordplay, and selective ambiguity, don’t feel accidental. They feel curated. For someone so skilled with words and communication, there’s intention behind these choices. If it were just for fun, she could have chosen countless other ways to express herself that wouldn’t leave so much room for interpretation. But she didn’t. And for me, that’s speaks volumes.
I’m mainly talking about Nicola here because there’s simply more material to analyze, her posts, interviews, and public interactions offer more clues and layers to unpack. However, Luke’s activity, or rather, his noticeable lack of activity, is equally intriguing and worth examining.
Luke has always been more reserved on social media compared to Nicola, but his recent silence or carefully curated posts stand out. He’s not just absent; he’s selectively absent. There’s a difference between being inactive and deliberately staying under the radar. For someone who previously shared glimpses of his personal life and participated more openly in fandom engagement, his current approach feels intentional.
When he does post, the content often seems neutral, leaning into professional promotion or generic life updates. Yet, the timing or lack of acknowledgment of certain things, whether related to Nicola or even his supposed personal relationships, leaves room for speculation. It’s almost as if he’s consciously avoiding feeding into narratives while simultaneously not shutting them down.
For instance, why hasn’t he addressed certain rumors head-on, as he has done in the past with other relationships? Luke has historically been upfront about his. It’s a choice.
Considering that Luke has been involved in other projects and worked with other co-stars since the end of the Bridgerton world tour, the ratio of content related to Nicola remains strikingly high. Among the limited glimpses he does share, Nicola accounts for the largest percentage of reposts and interactions. What’s even more telling is that the majority of this content is Lukola-focused, centered on his dynamic with Nicola as individuals, rather than strictly Polin-related, which would be tied to their characters and professional pairing. Yes, she is his MAIN co-star within the Bridgerton universe, but this level of engagement is noteworthy.
This isn’t to say he doesn’t appreciate or acknowledge his other co-stars; it’s just that the weight of attention, however subtle, consistently gravitates toward Nicola. Whether it’s the choice of what he reposts or the absence of comparable attention toward other colleagues, the pattern emerges loud and clear.
If we analyze this through a lens of probability and statistics, the numbers paint an even more intriguing picture. Let’s say Luke has worked with five to seven notable co-stars in other projects and in Bridgerton, if he has been tagged in or had the opportunity to engage with 100 pieces of social media content since the world tour. If Nicola accounts for, say, 60% of the interactions and reposts, despite being one of many co-stars, it defies the expectation of a more even distribution.
For context, if he were equally invested in all professional relationships, the engagement with Nicola might hover closer to 15-20%, proportional to the size of his broader network. The fact that this number is so much higher, let’s conservatively estimate at least three to four times greater raises questions. Is this simply because of their shared Bridgerton fame? Perhaps. But then why focus on individual Lukola moments, bypassing more neutral or inclusive Polin or broader cast content?
From a mathematical standpoint, the odds of this being purely coincidental diminish significantly when you layer in the context:
Nicola has the highest percentage of reposts across Luke's social media activity.
The type of content intimate, personal, or Lukola-specific reflects a curated choice, not random selection.
Even in a professional context, where Polin content would be the obvious promotional focus, the Lukola-centric moments shine through.
Given the numbers and probabilities, it seems less likely that this pattern is accidental or merely reflective of professional obligations. Instead, it suggests an intentionality that aligns with the depth and uniqueness of their connection.
Promotion for Bridgerton Season 3 has come to a halt, creating a quiet period where we can observe and compare how Luke approaches the promotion of his other projects.it could highlight how unique his dynamic with Nicola truly is.
The nature of the content he shares for other projects will be equally telling
By comparing these promotional efforts both in terms of frequency and tone to the patterns established during the Bridgerton promotional cycle, we could gain insight into whether his approach to Nicola was truly unique or simply part of his broader professional routine.
When coincidences pile up, their probability of being just coincidences shrinks dramatically. A single instance might be random, but repeated instances with similar themes, timing, and emotional undertones suggest a deeper meaning. While maintaining doubt is reasonable, the sheer volume of these moments suggests that there’s more at play than mere misunderstanding. It’s not about overreaching, it’s about acknowledging that where there’s consistent smoke, there’s likely some fire. What type of fire is there currently? I’m not sure. Are you? Probably an Eternal flame.
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What was the process like for writing the novelization for Splice? Would you consider writing a novelization of an existing work again?
Eek I'm being interviewed! I'M SO FAMOUS. There are a lot of parts to this answer. The shortest answer is that I really just watched SPLICE in tiny sections every single day for a very, very long time. I had a certain version of the script to work from, but it wouldn't contain the exact things that were said and done in front of the camera (no script would), so I just studied the movie. I scanned the sets for objects I could not identify, of which there are a LOT -- things I've never seen before, and things I've seen but couldn't name -- and searched online until I learned to describe things like hay trolleys and circulating baths. To me, the point of a novelization is that it produces an interior and sensorial experience not offered by a screen, so I tried very hard to expand on the material qualities suggested by the movie.
It never once occurred to me to change anything. Apparently this is an expectation of novelizations. I had a writeup in Fangoria that was very kind about my ability to make psychological sense out of the things people do in SPLICE, but that expressed disappointment that I hadn't added scenes or anything. I'm such an inveterate, pathetic sort of rule-follower, I didn't even ask myself about this. I did change one exact thing, regarding the kind of candy that Elsa eats, because it was meaningful and amusing to me to do so, but I don't think anybody will ever get it. I also included just a little bit of material from the script that didn't make it into the movie, because it was completely in line with my psychological interpretation, which was what I was most concerned with.
I never thought of SPLICE as a perfect film, but I had a lot of thoughts about it, and I think my main contribution was to explain what these characters are thinking and feeling as they wade into this life-changing and profoundly icky experience together. That became very personal very quickly and I was a little bit afraid that maybe this would be how everyone would find out how totally insane I actually am, but I'm told that that part worked out pretty good -- by Vincenzo Natali, among other people, who is SO NICE AND SMART AND SUPPORTIVE. Best guy! When I turned in my draft to the publisher I thought there might be a little back and forth, I did not expect them to send the raw document directly to Vincenzo and I was very alarmed when I heard from him before anybody else, but I really had nothing to fear. He's one of my favorite people now.
I would definitely do another novelization. Actually I think I'm uniquely suited to this because I have a good dose of aphantasia. I didn't even know until recently that it's statistically weird to think mostly or exclusively in words and to have a very hard time visualizing, like, almost anything. When I started telling people this about myself I was asked, among other things, "How do you do anything if you can't picture what you're going to do?" And I was like, uh...I don't know. Maybe this is connected to my extreme executive problems and my problems with goal formation and followthrough. I mean I think this is true, now. And I developed this sort of half-joking self-mythology that I have to be watching movies every second of the day because I suffer from an image deficit and I need external infusions. Like even when I used to draw (trauma took that away, long story, but I drew all the time for like half my life), almost everything I ever made was swipes -- and I think they're pretty good, like it's worthy as art. But I guess for me, art has to be made out of something external that I manipulate. All the art I've ever made without a reference point has been maybe technically OK but really lifeless, you can tell something is missing. So I think the novelization process was a lot like how I used to draw, where I had a completely concrete external referent and I would just sort of tour it very extensively until I had created a twin of it out of my interpretations. And the twin is like, the same but different, it's a clone made out of feelings and reactions. I think that's a worthy sort of art object to make.
There's a thing I'm working on now that I'm sure I won't be able to talk about for a long while, but it involves writing things from preexisting sketches and prompts, and that's a little bit the same. I don't have as much to go on, but I can tell what the shape of it could be, I just turn it over like, what if it's like this, what if it's like this, what if it's like this. And I know that what I'm turning out is really made out of tropes and archetypes, it's kind of a collage, but if the collaging is really earnest and you're feeling your way along with reasonable naturalness, it can turn into something. It's not that different from describing experiences you've had, if you really think about it. The following comment is NOT MEANT TO COMPARE MYSELF TO A GENIUS but I had this nice moment of synergy recently when I rewatched Kiyoshi Kurosawa's CURE, which to me seems so forcefully unique, but in interviews he says things like, "Well I just really wanted to make an American horror movie," and talks about how his starting point was not personal at all, he just wanted to play with the established tools and ingredients people use to build a certain kind of product. And I thought, I guess that's what I do -- not as intelligently or deliberately, but I get how you can work in a way that sounds so formal and empty, and have it produce something distinctly personal.
Thanks for your fun question!
*Virginia Madsen voice* Oh yes. I forgot to tell you. BUY MY BOOK!
EDIT: Oh I kind of lied, I changed *just some of* the music that Clive listens to, to something that would be easier to communicate to a reader. Like I wouldn't use the exact band on the soundtrack because it was too obscure and specific, but I would talk instead about his genre choices because they went with what I was trying to say about him as a person. I think all of it was still pretty in line with the sounds, and the Clive, that appear in the film.
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You said you think pre-infarction house was an addict-can you expand on that? What drugs were he hooked on and why did he fully switch to vicodin and never used others again? Did he ever reach a go-to-rehab level addiction? How did wilson handle that? And what was Stacy's attitude towards his addiction? I think she would have been a lot more forgiving than cuddy because 1. She herself is a smoker who goes back to cigarettes during hard time and 2. Unlike cuddy, she didn't have a small child to worry about.
Ahhh thank you sm, I love this question!!! Let's get into it ✨
So my theory is that house was abusing morphine prior to the infarction. here are my reasons for thinking so:
1. Three Stories- the entire reason house's infarction was as bad as it was is bc everyone except house was convinced he was just drug seeking at first. it makes absolutely zero sense for them to think that unless he already had a history of drug seeking. unless I misremember (anyone feel free to correct me if I'm wrong) he already worked at PPTH for a while before the infarction happened. so it was the same doctors he knew and interacted with every single day that saw him screaming in agony and chose to believe he was just trying to seek drugs and not actually in pain. he had to have a history, it just doesn't make sense otherwise for them to assume he was drug seeking.
2. one very specific line in No Reason (the episode where house is shot and the whole episode is a hallucination). when house, wilson, and cuddy are in her office and house is realizing they did something to his brain (the ketamine treatment) cuddy says this specific line: "You were out of control, you were shooting morphine!" This line has always stuck out to me and no one ever seems to mention it. It's very out of place bc the conversation they're having is about him being shot and them doing something to him while he was under. I think this was his brain connecting this event to the last time someone did something to him while he was unconscious, trying to rationalize these traumatic events.
3. In early s3 when the pain comes back, he begs cuddy to give him a shot of morphine in his spine (the scene where he drops his pants in her office and asks her in tears if the scar is all in his head too since she thinks the pain is all in his head.) cuddy gives him the shot and he comes back looking for another one later on, after the pain comes back again. she informs him that she never gave him morphine, it was saline. the fact that the pretend morphine worked suggests he had a mental dependency on it. I'm pretty sure this is the point where he goes back to vicodin (it's been a few months since I did my last rewatch so I could be wrong). I think had she actually given him morphine, he likely would've become addicted to it again. Just the thought of the morphine was enough to have him looking for more.
4. Wilson's tendency to jump straight to heroin use when he thinks house is on something other than vicodin. it happens more than once in the series when house starts acting just the slightest bit off, wilson leaps to the conclusion that he's on heroin. which is an insane leap to make unless it's something he's had to worry about in the past. I think the reason wilson would jump to heroin over morphine is if he knows what it looks like when house is high on morphine. If house used to abuse morphine, wilson would be able to recognize it and if he can't, it must be something much worse. this again plays into why I think he was an addict prior to the infarction even if it wasn't morphine, because who in their right mind would jump to their best friend using heroin if that person didn't have a long history of abusing similar drugs?
Now to answer your other questions:
Why did he switch to vicodin and not go back to others he may have been addicted to? I can tell you from personal experience that while morphine feels great, it makes you hazy and tired and out of it. I think once he was prescribed vicodin after his surgery and learned that he could function on it and not feel hazy, it was a match made in heaven for him (he says a few times in the show that vicodin doesn't make him hazy, so he immediately knows if he's on something else bc he feels hazy.) He didn't need to switch to anything else as long as he had access to vicodin bc he got the high, the pain relief, and no haziness. but when he got cut off of his vicodin during the tritter ordeal, he stole oxycodone (I think?) from wilson's dead patient. so if he didn't have vicodin, it's safe to assume he would go back to whatever he had access to.
Did he ever reach rehab level addiction? / What was Stacy's attitude towards his addiction? I think if we go based off his colleagues thinking he was drug seeking + cuddy saying he was out of control and shooting up morphine, I would say yes, it was rehab level addiction. But— I feel like if it had been that bad, stacy would've mentioned it in some sort of capacity during her arc when they were discussing their relationship. she never hints at him being an addict as far as I can remember. she loved and cared about house so much that she was willing to accept him hating her if it meant he was alive and healthy. I feel like if his addiction had been dangerous, she would've done anything to get him help the same way she did during his infarction. even if it meant going against his wishes and him hating her, she would've insisted he got help. so I'm conflicted on that question, honestly. I think maybe it depends on the perspective of those around him. maybe those at the hospital saw something stacy didn't, I'm not sure. but I agree with what you said about her being more forgiving and understanding of it than cuddy was. I think if he had been an addict while they were together, she would've given him an endless amount of chances until it became dangerous, that's when she would put her foot down and try to force him into rehab and their relationship probably would've crumbled for a whole different reason.
How did Wilson handle his addiction? I think house being an addict prior to the infarction plays perfectly into the theme of wilson emotionally neglecting his wives for house. we obviously don't have an exact timeline of his marriages aside from his first one ending just before house and wilson met, but it's pretty safe to assume that he was married to and even possibly divorced from bonnie before the infarction ever happened since he seems to have been married to julie for a little while in the beginning of the show.
[sidenote: here is my personal timeline HC for wilson's marriages.
Sam: 1991-1992 (canon)
Bonnie: 1993-1998
Julie: 1999 (before infarction) - 2005]
In the episode where house uses bonnie to get dating info about wilson, she says the iconic line, "You always needed him and he was always there for you. He had a wife waiting for him at home and you didn't care." And it just makes sense if the reason house always needed him was because of his struggles with addiction. house in general is a needy person who always wanted wilson's affection to himself, that much is clear, but wilson had to of had a good excuse to always run off for whatever it is house needed from him prior to him being disabled.
Getting into more specifics about how wilson would've handled his addiction back then— I think he would've handled it similarly to the way he did with the vicodin. he's an enabler unfortunately, he would've let house make excuses and made excuses for him because he tries to give house the benefit of the doubt that he can control himself. I think back then even more so, because house wasn't in pain and disabled, wilson had no reason to think house couldn't control himself. I think it's even possible that wilson was in denial about it too, he didn't want to believe his best friend was an addict and maybe he felt like he needed to protect house when others started accusing him of such. I think that may be why wilson asked cuddy to make that bet with house to find out if he was addicted to vicodin. he ignored it and denied it last time and he's enabled him for years since the infarction, he wanted to know if he was treating house's pain or still enabling an addict. the answer was both, which makes it no less complicated. but like with all of house's issues, wilson continues to stand by him and be there for him bc he loves him and wants him in his life, addict or no addict.
#chyanne speaks#asks#house md#thank you for sending these wonderful asks and letting me ramble and deep dive into these characters!!
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Starbound hearts
Status: I'm working on it
Pairings: Neteyam x human!f!reader
Genre/Warnings: fluff, slow burn, oblivious characters, light angst, hurt/comfort, pining
Summary: In the breathtaking, untamed beauty of Pandora, two souls from different worlds find themselves drawn together against all odds. Neteyam, the dutiful future olo'eyktan of the Omaticaya clan, is bound by the expectations of his people and the traditions of his ancestors. She, a human scientist with a love for Pandora’s wonders, sees herself as an outsider, unworthy of the connection she craves.
Part 4
Tags: @nerdylawyerbanditprofessor-blog
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Part 5.: To try
Neteyam’s steps slowed as he approached the small gathering. You stood among a group of younger Na’vi, your face alight with laughter as you listened to their excited chatter. Lo’ak was at your side, leaning casually against a tree, his expression one of playful amusement as he tossed in his own comments. You fit so easily into the scene, your presence blending with theirs in a way that made Neteyam’s chest ache.
His golden eyes lingered on your wrist, catching the faint shimmer of the bracelet he had painstakingly woven for you just the day before. It wasn’t elaborate, just a simple band of beads and twine, but seeing it there, snug against your delicate skin, stirred something deep inside him. You wore it. You chose to wear it. Did you know what it meant to him? Did you feel even a fraction of what he felt for you?
Neteyam’s tail flicked restlessly as his heart battled with his mind. The warmth of your laugh reached his ears, and he felt an unbearable longing to be closer—to hear your laughter directed at him, to be the one who made you smile. But as much as his heart screamed at him to step forward, his feet remained rooted to the ground.
He couldn’t do it.
He couldn’t approach you, not like this. Not with his heart so full and his mind so heavy with doubt. What would he even say? That he loved you? That he thought about you every moment of the day? That you made him question everything he thought he knew about his place in the world?
No. He couldn’t burden you with that. Not when he had nothing to offer you in return but a life of impossibilities.
His gaze drifted back to you, his heart squeezing painfully. You looked radiant, your features glowing with happiness as you showed one of the children something in your basket. They listened intently, their wide Na’vi eyes filled with curiosity, and you met their enthusiasm with a kindness and patience that made Neteyam’s chest swell. You were so good, so naturally a part of this world despite not being Na’vi. Yet, you would always be human—a reminder of the divide that he couldn’t ignore.
And then there was Lo’ak.
Neteyam’s jaw tightened as his brother leaned closer to you, gesturing animatedly as he shared what was undoubtedly some exaggerated story. You laughed again, your hand brushing Lo’ak’s arm briefly as you steadied yourself, and Neteyam’s chest burned with something he didn’t want to name. Lo’ak had always been charming, effortlessly drawing people to him with his carefree nature. Did you see him differently? Did you—
No. He cut the thought off sharply, guilt twisting in his gut. Lo’ak was his brother, and his bond with you was one of friendship, just like yours with the rest of the family. But the doubt lingered, an unwelcome whisper that fueled his torment.
Neteyam’s fingers flexed at his sides as he took a slow, steadying breath. He wanted to step forward, to be the one by your side, to tell you everything he felt, everything he wanted. But the words caught in his throat, heavy with the weight of their impossibility. He was the future olo’eyktan, bound to his people and his duty. You were human, and their worlds were not meant to intertwine like this.
And yet...
His heart ached with the desire to find out, to take the risk, to close the gap between them. But fear held him back—fear of rejection, fear of hurting you, fear of failing his people. He couldn’t afford to be selfish, not when so much depended on him.
With a final glance at you, Neteyam turned away, his shoulders heavy as he began to walk back toward Kiri. His footsteps were slow, reluctant, as if some unseen force was pulling him back toward you, urging him to stay. But he pushed forward, each step a reminder of the distance he was determined to maintain.
What he didn’t see was the way your laughter faltered as you caught sight of him, your bright eyes softening with an emotion you couldn’t quite name. You watched him retreat, your hand brushing absently against the bracelet on your wrist, as though seeking the comfort of its presence.
Neteyam didn’t look back. He couldn’t. If he did, he feared he might lose the last shred of control he had left. So he kept walking, his heart heavy, his mind a whirlwind of regret and longing. When he reached Kiri, she was waiting, her sharp eyes taking in the tension in his frame and the sadness in his expression.
“You didn’t talk to her,” Kiri said quietly, her tone laced with both disappointment and understanding.
Neteyam shook his head, his voice barely above a whisper. “I can’t.”
Kiri frowned, her tail flicking in frustration. “You can’t keep running away from this, Neteyam.”
He didn’t respond, his gaze fixed on the ground. He wanted to believe she was right, that he could find the courage to face what he felt and take the leap. But for now, all he could do was carry the weight of his love in silence, watching you from afar and hoping that, somehow, Eywa would show him the way.
*
The village was alive with activity as you stepped into the familiar clearing, the sounds of laughter and chatter mingling with the rustling of the forest around you. The soft morning light filtered through the towering trees, dappling everything in hues of green and gold. You smiled as a group of younger Na’vi children spotted you and eagerly called out, waving you over.
You made your way to them, your basket of supplies swaying at your side, and crouched to their level as they crowded around you. Their wide, curious eyes sparkled with excitement as you began to unpack small trinkets and colorful items you had brought from the lab—beads, threads, and other small gifts you knew they loved. Their enthusiasm was infectious, and you laughed as they each clamored to choose their favorites.
“You’re spoiling them again,” came a teasing voice from behind you. You glanced up to see Lo’ak standing a few feet away, arms crossed and his signature smirk firmly in place.
You grinned. “It’s not spoiling if they earn it,” you countered, gesturing to one of the children proudly displaying a new bead necklace. “Besides, I’m pretty sure I promised these after they helped me last time.”
Lo’ak chuckled, shaking his head as he leaned casually against a tree. “You’re going to make them expect you to show up with gifts every time.”
“And you’ll be the one to help me find more,” you shot back with a playful wink, earning an exaggerated groan from him.
The children giggled, caught between marveling at their treasures and watching the lighthearted banter between you and Lo’ak. You felt at ease, surrounded by the warmth of their laughter and the sense of belonging that had grown over the years. The Omatikaya had accepted you in ways you never thought possible, and while you knew you would always be human, moments like this made you feel like you were a part of their world.
As the group began to disperse, each child eager to show off their new trinkets to others in the village, you rose to your feet. Lo’ak remained at your side, launching into one of his wild tales that you only half-believed but fully enjoyed. You laughed as he gestured animatedly, miming some impossible feat involving an ikran and a cliff, his voice filled with mock bravado.
As he spoke, something caught your attention out of the corner of your eye—a figure standing a little ways off, near the edge of the gathering. You glanced over, and your heart skipped a beat when you saw Neteyam. He was watching, his tall frame as still as a statue, his golden eyes fixed on you. The intensity of his gaze sent a shiver down your spine, though you weren’t entirely sure why.
Neteyam had always been... different. Quieter, more composed than his brother, but no less present. Where Lo’ak’s attention was loud and boisterous, Neteyam’s was subtle—an extra glance your way during conversations, a hand extended to steady you during a climb, a gift left quietly at your side with no words spoken. He was a constant in your life, solid and dependable in a way that made you feel safe. And yet, there was something in the way he looked at you now that felt deeper, heavier, as though he were holding back something he couldn’t say.
You raised your hand slightly, an instinctive gesture, though you weren’t sure if you were about to wave or beckon him closer. Before you could decide, he turned away, his broad shoulders stiff as he walked back toward where Kiri was sitting.
A pang of something sharp and bittersweet shot through you. Disappointment? Confusion? You weren’t sure. But it left you standing there, your hand faltering mid-gesture, your heart thudding in your chest for reasons you didn’t fully understand.
“Something wrong?” Lo’ak’s voice broke through your thoughts, and you blinked, realizing you’d been staring after Neteyam.
“No,” you said quickly, shaking your head. “Nothing.” But your eyes flicked back to where Neteyam had disappeared, and you felt a pang of unease.
Why had he turned away? He usually greeted you with his calm, steady presence, always making you feel as though your arrival was something he looked forward to. But this time, he hadn’t said a word. Had you done something wrong? Or was something else bothering him?
Your fingers brushed absently against the bracelet on your wrist—the one he had made for you. You hadn’t taken it off since he gave it to you, the simple band of beads and twine carrying more meaning than you could put into words. You glanced down at it now, your thumb tracing its patterns as your thoughts lingered on him.
Neteyam had always been different—steadier, quieter, more thoughtful than Lo’ak’s fiery energy or Kiri’s sharp wit. He had a way of making you feel seen without saying much, as though he understood you in ways no one else did. And yet, there were times when he seemed to retreat, pulling away like he was carrying a weight you couldn’t see.
This felt like one of those times.
“Hey,” Lo’ak said, snapping his fingers in front of your face slightly bending down to your level. You startled slightly, and he smirked. “You good?”
You forced a smile, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just... distracted, I guess.”
Lo’ak gave you a long look, then shrugged. “If you say so.” He gestured toward the other side of the village. “Come on, Tuk’s been waiting to show you something. You know how she gets if you take too long.”
You nodded, letting him guide you away, but your thoughts remained with Neteyam. You couldn’t shake the image of him standing there, watching you, only to turn and walk away as though you hadn’t seen him.
As Lo’ak kept talking, you glanced back one last time, hoping to catch another glimpse of him. He was gone, but the ache in your chest lingered. Whatever was troubling him, you wished he would tell you. You wanted to help, to ease whatever burden he carried—even if you didn’t fully understand it.
Part 6
#neteyam x reader#avatar twow#avatar 2022#james cameron avatar#avatar the way of water#neteyam x you#neteyam x human reader#neteyam sully#neteyam
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Stranger - C.S.
“Are you sure we haven’t met before?”
summary: it has been 4 months since you and chris broke up. you one day bump into each other at a party. sparks fly and things feel… different. was it you or him who changed?
warnings: SMUT, dom!chris, fem!reader, swearing, kissing, p in v, unprotected sex (please dont do this )
(p.s. i’ve never written smut before so please bear with me 😭)
you didn’t care for chris anymore. at least you thought you didn’t. you were having so much fun with your friends this saturday night. your black strapless mini dress riding up every now and then but you didn’t care. all that mattered was you and how much fun you were having.
you walked down the hallway when you saw nick. you guys were still close even after you and chris. but, if nick was here chris had to be here as well which made your stomach churn for some unknown reasons. you gave nick a hug and sprinted to the rest room to message your friend claire.
you: is chris anywhere out there????
claire: he’s in line for the bathroom
shit. you thought before texting her again
you: where in line…?
claire: up next….🧍♀️
“are you fucking kidding me” you mumbled, putting your phone away and fixing yourself in the mirror before opening the restroom door.
anytime you and chris were ever at the same function, gathering, or any public event that involved each other you guys acted like strangers. seemed like two people with no history, no connections, nothing. appearing from the mist and disappearing.
chris had no idea you were here until he saw claire staring at him and then typing on your phone. you had to be there somewhere. you both made eye contact when you opened the door. you tried walking away before he stopped you and whispered in your ear. “meet me here in 10 once this line clears up yeah?” you rolled your eyes “like hell i would.” “y’know you wan’ to.” “fuck you christopher.” you said before walking away. you hated him with all of your being. he might’ve ended it since he “cheated” on you but the truth is he kind of missed you. he never cheated but in the heat of the moment he went along with that stupid story. since that’s what you wanted to believe instead of him.
he still hated you as well. not being able to stand your stupid pretty face. he wanted to get at you. so thats what made him say to meet him in the restroom.
10 minutes later
chris: i dont have all day pretty girl hurry tf up
you: i already told you no fuck off
chris: get over here or im dragging your ass to me
you: whatever
you agreed to meet him at the bathroom. you had no idea why you did it but it felt right to accept.
you knocked on the door 5 times, it unlocked and opened 3 seconds later. chris had his black hoodie on which hid his wavy brown hair. he dragged you into the bathroom by the arm and proceeded to gently push you against the door once he closed it.
he eyed you up and down which made your cheeks tint a bright pink. “why- what do you want?” you stumbled feeling scared. “i just wanna get you to realize that i didn’t cheat” he grumbled getting closer to you.
your breath hitched, as his lips grazed your ear “i don’t get why the fuck you believed that stupid idiot. i didn’t cheat and you know it. but since you wanna play coy i can show you i didn’t in a different way” “w-what? no your not doing anything to me” “y’know you wan’ to tho”. you rolled your eyes. you did. he was the only person who knew what you liked and wanted and it wasn’t fun. he gently grabbed the side of your neck and pressed his lips to yours, which you leaned into.
things progressed which lead to you sitting on top of the sink counter. “please chris-” you whined “just tell me what ya want ma, i know you can”. “i need you please-” you whined again.
with that he grabbed you and placed you on your feet, flipping you over by the hips and pulled your ass up, bunching up your dress at your hips. he undid his belt and took of his black jeans and boxers. he pulled down your black lacy panties and proceeded to slap your ass which made you yelp. “i’ve always said you got a nice ass on you ma.” he muttered as he pumped himself with his free hand.
chris rubbed his tip against your folds before slowly pushing in, going in fully to let you bottom out. “mmmpf chris fuck-” you moaned feeling full. “so fuckin’ tight pretty girl”
he began to thrust in and out of you, his eyes stared at you through the mirror “you like this shit huh?” your eyes rolled back but you nodded. “i need words and i need you to look at me sweetheart.”
you moaned and squirmed as chris wraps his arm around your waist and dips his hand down to your clit. “mm, so good f’me fuck-” he praised, leaning down to kiss your neck and shoulders
“c-chris! fuck!-” you moaned, which made him slap your ass. “sweetheart you need to be quiet, this is a party not your house” he growled. he grabbed your hair into a makeshift ponytail, pulling your which made you arch your back, his tip kissing your cervix. “chris i cant ima-” you squealed, clenching around him. “you wanna cum ma? go ahead baby, wanna hear you scream it.” “thank you- chris! fuck oh my go-” you moaned loudly.
“your okay sweetheart i gotcha don’ worry.” he praised as you squeezed him, making him cum as well. stuffing you full.
he pulled out and cleaned himself up. sitting you on the cold marble of the bathroom counter and cleaning you up with wipes that were under the sink…you whined at the cold feeling “shh, i know pretty girl its okay… its all gonna be over in just a little okay?” “mhm..” you muttered, holding onto his shoulders. “you okay?” he asked kissing your cheek. “y-yeah….” you stuttered. “good. well i guess this is goodbye.” “wha-? what do you mean?” “you thought i was staying?? it was your decision to believe someone else before asking me and talking with me. so now im doing that to you. just in… different senses obviously.” he chuckled, before kissing your cheek “bye-bye pretty girl. love ya.” he said before leaving and closing the door to the bathroom.
great. back to strangers.
hiiii! thank you sooo much for all the follows n likes i literally love you guyssss. this is my first time writing smut so i hope it was good. any tips and help would be appreciated than you sooo much i love youuuu! 🫶🏼🫶🏼
#Spotify#chris sturniolo#adoremattsturns#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#chris sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo smut
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Recently saw a photo of Danai and Andy hugging. Lauren Cohan is hugging both of them. It looks like maybe a goodbye hug after shooting the bridge. (It wouldn’t let me upload.) What do you think about the off-screen chemistry between Danai and Andy? Sometimes it’s palpable. What do you think or feel when you see them out of character together?I love reading your insight on things.
I know the exact photo you’re talking about! Those two have so many great behind-the-scenes pics that capture the sincerity and intimacy of their connection as actors. 😊 I think Andy & Danai’s off-screen chemistry is something special. It’s why from their earliest TWD interviews to their latest TOWL promo they never fail to captivate and create memorable moments with their shared sense of charm, humor, eloquence, and passion for their craft and their characters.
And it’s so fortunate that two authentic actors with that insane amount of chemistry and mesmerizing talent got to play it out through two characters who have an epic love story.
When I think about how I feel when I see them out of character, I think about how years ago I saw my first clip of Andy and Chandler Riggs being interviewed and I remember something feeling so interesting to me about the clip. And then I realized it was because I was so used to seeing those two as father and son on TWD and in that interview they had a really cute dynamic but it was my first time seeing them not feel like a father and son but pals, understandably of course.
And then soon after that, I remember I saw my first interview with Andy and Danai and again I was like something feels so interesting to me about this clip. Except this time I realized what was so interesting to me is how their level of chemistry was so similar to Rick and Michonne.
Andy & Danai are different from their characters of course & consummate professionals, it’s just that in its own way the Richonne chemistry is definitely evident in their offscreen chemistry as well. Which is nice to see as that isn’t always a given with costars. And it makes sense that their chemistry as actors inspired the writers to want to give Rick and Michonne more scenes together.
They’re magic together on screen and off, and I love that they seem to have such a sincere loving friendship. They speak so highly of each other and the respect and admiration they have for one another is really sweet. And their banter has some legitimately great comedic timing too. 😂
Plus, having collaborated creatively to develop TV shows before, I know how that process can often put a lot of strain on collaborators’ relationships. So it’s really refreshing to see that Andy & Danai working together with Gimple as creators for TOWL actually seemed to be an overall positive bond-strengthening experience for them.
Just like I believe Rick and Michonne were meant to be together, Andy & Danai were meant to act together and so I’m so glad it worked out to where they could combine their exceptional talents in roles that were truly perfect for them. ☺️
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I'm very skeptical about Charles just giving Tom PB a title - to me it would suggest Tom is Charles' natural son, which is not the sort of implication anybody with sense would want.
I think the PBs are the new Andrew/Fawcett: they want to appear close to the throne, so they can sell access to Charles on the down low. Upper class grift.
About the Midds, what I find curious is that there is no PR about George or Charlotte or Louis being close with their cousins... So I think the whole clan has been sidelined for now, with just grandparents Carole and Mike, retired with no business interests to profit on, making the occasional appearance.
William is very careful to avoid any suggestion of allowing his inner circle to profit from the connection. It works to keep Harry away, and it will repair the credibility damage done by Andrew and "cash for honours" Charles, in time.
I mean, it's definitely a concern, but I don't think it's that big a deal. As far as I'm aware, no one thinks Tom is Charles's son. (For me, Tom looks way too much like Andrew PB for his paternity to be in question, but I know that looks can be subjective.) So a lower-ranking title like a lordship or a barony or a knighthood - the same kind of title that normal people get for extraordinary accomplishments - probably won't give anyone pause. (I mean, yes, we'll definitely side-eye it, but I don't think anyone will be questioning Tom's paternity.)
Again, I want to reiterate that I don't think it's likely that the PB kids will get titles because there are certain people who would block it, but I do feel that Charles has some kind of desire to recognize his stepchildren because it would make Camilla happy and it would reward her, especially after this year of being by his side during his cancer treatments and (if you believe her friends) suffering through Australia.
I don't think the extended Middleton family has been sidelined. Pippa, Alizee, and the Jameses routinely and regularly show up in the royal sphere - they were at the carol service, the coronation, and the Platinum Jubilee. We don't hear about Pippa's and James' children in context with the Wales kids because they're private citizens and minors - in other words, there's no story and no information to share, and the parents aren't trotting those kids out for papwalks (Pippa's kids have blurred faces these days in pap photos, which means the photos were taken without parental consent). And the Waleses haven't attended public events with their MIddleton cousins where we could see them interact - unlike with their Windsor cousins, where we've seen them all playing at polo, on the Trooping balcony, and at the jubilee/coronation concerts.
I mean, we never saw William and Harry hanging out with their Spencer cousins when they were small, but that doesn't mean they didn't have a relationship. It just means we didn't see them hanging out in public.
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So... 16 pages... I'm guessing each character gets 4 pages each?
My predictions for these bonus epilogues are...
Uraume might get a chapter focusing on how they met Sukuna and/or maybe their POV of after their death. Maybe a glimpse in the fight they had with Hakari.
Nobara probably reconnecting with Saori and/or Fumi. Personally, I hope to see her connect with both in Tokyo. Saori finds her and Fumi actually moving out that village.
Now, I'm surprised Panda is getting an epilogue, but I figured it's because he didn't get a lot of focus. Like, he was absent from the story in those last few arcs which makes sense given his status. I'm guessing for him, probably some more depth of his relationships he has with his siblings and Yaga and how he's mourning them. Maybe even Inumaki cameos given they're practically besties. And shocker, but also maybe something with Kusakabe given he felt indebted to Yaga.
Okay, Ozawa, I never thought we'd see her again. Something is telling me we'll get her meeting Yuji again. Last time she was in the story, she decided not to tell Yuji about her feelings since she didn't want him to like her for her looks. If she does meet with him, ooh... kind of hard to guess, but probably this time around she might get over her feelings? I'd like to see her come to loving herself. Maybe have a heart to heart with Yuji? And maybe Yuji tells her something about how she never had to change her looks because she was fine the way that she was before. She may even meet someone new and decide to start over because, this time, she got over her feelings for Yuji.
These are just guesses now!! Just predictions!! Don't take them to heart or anything.
Now, if you asked me who I wanted to see an epilogue on? Well, Nobara I think should have one and one on Uraume? Yeah, give me that.
Shoko, Ijichi and Utahime are three characters that come to mind. I would have liked to see more on how they're coping with the deaths that have happened. How is Shoko and Ijichi doing dealing with the deaths of Gojo and Yaga?
How is Utahime doing with two of her own students having died since the Shibuya arc?
Jumping from that, how is Ino doing dealing with Nanami's death? How about Todo? How is he doing after the death of two of his schoolmates?
Two other characters I would have loved to see get an epilogue are Inumaki and Miwa. Both of them were almost absent for the latter half even during the final fight with just small appearances. Even so, their time counted and really just left me wanting more for them. Inumaki, we really don't know a lot at all about him. I'd like to see his POV of things. Same for Miwa. For Noritoshi, we were able to get a happy ending with him being with his mother, stepfather and brother. What about Miwa and her brothers? And how is she dealing with the death of two of her schoolmates, one she had a close relationship with?
One more character l would have liked to get an epilogue for is Uro.
Listen, listen! I know she was just a character for the Culling Games Arc, but I would have liked to see how she's coping after everything. The last we saw of her was her alive. What happened to her?
Now, just my opinion! Just my thoughts.
#like if gege was going to do the minor characters... how about these characters?#nonetheless maybe we may see the other characters at least cameo#just kiya's thoughts#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk manga spoilers#jjk spoilers#kugisaki nobara#nobara kugisaki#panda jjk#ozawa yuko#yuko ozawa#uraume#uraume jjk#inumaki toge#toge inumaki#shoko ieiri#ieiri shoko#utahime iori#iori utahime#ijichi kiyotaka#kiyotaka ijichi#miwa kasumi#kasumi miwa#uro takako#takako uro
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Just wanted to say Happy Christmas to you all and leave this here. A short festive story, set in the canon world but sort of AU (in that Ian is living with Clayton).
*Mickey breaks into the wrong house....but maybe it was the right house after all 🤔
(Some derogatory language ahead, not mine, all Mickey!)
----
Christmas was just around the corner, meaning Terry was working them harder than normal. And by work, he meant stealing. Breaking and entering.
Mickey was the perfect burglar. Quick, quiet and small enough to squeeze through tight windows. Tonight's target, a fancy West Side house, which featured a large expensive looking tree in the front room. At the base of it, was a pile of exquisitely wrapped presents. Jackpot.
Mickey jimmied open a window at the back of the house, expertly so, given the practice he had. He crept into the connecting living room, eyes darting around and ears on high alert.
Confident that the house was vacant, considering the car that was usually parked out front was gone, he started tossing the packages into a large holdall he brought with him.
"Mickey, what the fuck"
His blue eyes blinked into the darkness, until he eventually made out a shape and spotted familiar red hair and freckles. The Gallagher kid had moved away a year back. His sister Mandy had whined about missing her BFF for weeks, droning on about how he discovered his mom's affair and that the man who raised him wasn't his real dad.
He made a run for it but the kid grabbed his arm, "I can't let you take it Mickey, not all of it anyway".
His voice was soft, those green eyes even softer, an understanding there. Gallagher picked out a few packages and held them out to him.
"Your dad's an asshole".
Mickey felt his eyebrow pull up and his face scrunch up in confusion, "What's it to you, carrot top?"
Ian, that was the kids name, chuckled and took a step back, his face lit up in amusement.
"Just know what he's like, what will happen if you return empty handed. Just take them, I can replace them tomorrow".
"This a trick, you gonna call the cops on me or something?"
"Course not, South Siders don't snitch".
Mickey gestured around and caught Ian's eye, "in case you haven't noticed freckles, we ain't in the South Side".
"Whatever, I'm still fucking South Side Mickey and more than that; I'm still a Gallagher".
Mickey nodded slowly, feeling the kid was being genuine. "Well now I really can't take this shit", he sighed and dropped his bag, "fucking tainted or whatever".
Ian laughed again, a sweet and bright sort of sound that had Mickey's lips curving up at the corners. He didn't know why he was still standing there, hovering, loitering. And at the scene of a crime, although technically he hadn't stolen anything.
"You want a beer or some hot chocolate or something, Clayton, um I mean my Dad and his wife are out, won't be back for hours".
Mickey snorted out a laugh, "you fucking serious, you like retarded or something? I just tried to rob you and now you're offering me hot chocolate?"
Ian grinned and shrugged casually, "not like I haven't stolen shit before. I get it. I know you haven't exactly got a choice Mickey. And," he paused and looked away, almost shyly, "miss the South Side I guess, don't see my family as much as I'd like. Figured you could catch me up on shit, on Mandy".
"That annoying bitch," he joked, "she's still a pain in my ass and a huge slut. There, all caught up freckles".
He turned to leave, feeling awkward now and feeling his cheeks flush with colour as the goofy kid smiled confidently back at him. It was as though he actually liked Mickey's abrupt manner or some shit.
"C'mon Mick, I'll even toss in some marshmallows. I remember you have a sweet tooth".
Mickey raised his eyebrow in a question, "the fuck you know that?"
Ian laughed and started towards what he presumed was the kitchen, "you think I didn't know about all those snickers you swiped from the store?"
Before he registered it, he was walking forward, following him, as if he was a magnet being drawn in that direction.
"You fucking stalking me or something, watching me, kinda creepy man".
His tone was easier and lighter than intended. Shit, he almost sounded like he was dangerously close to flirting.
Ian cocked his head and studied his face for a second before replying, with a wide devilish grin.
"Kinda my job Mick, to keep my eyes on you".
Mickey tried to hide an emerging smile with his hand and was forced to look away, from that intense green gaze. His skin felt electrified and he was sure his cheeks were glowing.
"Well it's not anymore, guess you don't need a job since you moved up in the world".
Ian set a large mug down in front of him, complete with mini pink and white marshmallows floating on top.
"Not so sure I did," Ian paused and seemed thoughtful, "kinda miss it, working, earning money, even miss the fucking ghetto".
Ian laughed dryly and Mickey shook his head at him in disbelief.
"I just mean it's different here, fucking boring and like dad's just trying to make up for lost time so he never yells or says no. Its weird".
"Oh poor you, shit, you don't know how lucky you have it man. Complaining like a spoilt princess about being rich and living in a place like this, where you don't get a black eye every other day".
"You think I don't hear myself Mick. Course I know I sound like a prick. I just don't feel like I belong here. I don't fit in. I don't know how to live this fucking normal life".
"Well, I'd swap places with you any day," he muttered, blowing on the hot chocolate before talking a long satisfying sip. Damn, it tasted good, like proper expensive shit, not that crappy dollar store stuff that masqueraded as "chocolate".
"I'm sorry, I know I suck. I go to a great school and have everything I want. Meanwhile the rest of the Gallaghers are still living in that shithole, with fucking Frank".
"Actually, heard he's shacked up with some rich bitch over on the North Side. Never stops bragging about it in the Alibi".
Ian laughed and shook his head, "course he is. Frank always manages to land on his feet".
"Looks like you take after him in that respect Red, even if he's not your real dad or whatever. Suck it up, you got out. You can make something of yourself. Mandy always said you were smart, so don't waste that education. Go cure cancer or whatever the fuck".
Ian settled down, sitting opposite him, as they both smiled quietly around their mugs. The situation was weird but only in how it wasn't weird, not really. Mickey felt at ease, like he was naturally able to talk with Ian, his usual shyness not present.
"Not really a science geek, believe it or not," Ian joked, an attractive smile on his face again, "more of an English Lit geek".
"You mean like books and shit. Rather you than me pal".
"Wait, you can actually read, Mickey?"
Mickey sat up straight, ready to knock the fuckers teeth down his throat. That was, until he caught sight of Ian's cocky smirk. He flipped him off and felt a smirk of his own creeping up.
"Fucking comedian over here," he muttered, "course I fucking can, dickhead. Might be a Milkovich but doesn't mean I'm a dumb fuck".
"Never thought you were," Ian replied with a gentler smile now and a fondness in his eyes. "Always figured you were smart. And, funny too".
Ians eyes darted away, his lips lowered to the mug again, his cheeks faintly pink.
"Funnier than you anyway," he teased in return, "not that it'd be hard".
"I meant it, I want to help. Don't want you getting into trouble or whatever...with Terry".
Ians eyes appeared sincere and possibly full of concern too. Mickey was surprised, wondering how this kid, who was almost a stranger to him, was genuinely worried about him returning home empty handed.
Then again, he probably witnessed Mickey's battered and bruised face on numerous occasions. Perhaps at the Kash n Grab or at the Milkovich House when he hung out there with Mandy. Likely his sister confessed some harsh home truths to her BFF too. Fuck.
"Can't take your shit Gallagher. It's fine, I'll hit some other place up on the way home".
Ian rose to his feet, taking out his wallet, offering a wad of cash to him.
"The fuck," he stood and swatted his hand away in offence, "don't want your money either; not a fucking charity case. And just cos your whore of a mother fucked some rich prick doesn't make you better than me".
Ians face grew red with anger and he stepped forward, invading his space, "don't fucking talk about her like that Mickey. I know I'm not better than you, never fucking said I was. Just don't want you getting punched in the face, or worse, by that evil psychotic prick. Fuck me, for giving a shit".
Ian shoved him and Mickey shoved him back. Both of their chests heaved up and down, both clearly emotional.
"Shit, I shouldn't have said that about your mom; not like mine was much better. Not cool. I know she had fucking problems or whatever, " he thumbed his nose, stumbling on his words, "just don't like handouts alright, I can take care of myself".
Iam nodded and his expression softened further, "I know you can take care of yourself Mick. Just nice sometimes to let other people help. Not like I can't spare some cash. Please, just let me help, let me feel like all of this," he gestured around, "means something. If it means saving that pretty face from getting another pounding, then its worth it".
Mickey's eyebrow pulled up and a sharp breath left his mouth, "did you just call me fucking....pretty....think its you thats looking for a pounding pal".
Ian smirked and approached him, head cocked to the side, his voice lowered to a whisper.
"Generally I do the pounding...but I'm always open to trying new things".
As if Ian's bold words weren't having enough of a mind-blowing affect on his body, the asshole winked (actually winked) at him.
Mickey opened and closed his mouth like a fish, rendered utterly speechless. Not only was the kid gay but he was openly flirting with Mickey, implying shit; not just about himself but about Mickey too. The giant sized balls on Ian. He was pretty impressed though, considering Mickey could easily be kicking his ass right now. Talk about a risky move.
"I uh, better go"
He mumbled and pointed vaguely in the direction of the door, "Terry...you know...fucking schedules or whatever".
Ian chuckled and stepped forward again. His hand reached out, trailing down his chest; smoothing out the creases on his shirt, and then he was stuffing something in his pocket. Before Mickey could argue, Ian was shutting him up in the most unexpected and unsettling way. By pressing his warm lips against his.
Naturally his reaction was to push him away, which he attempted to do but Ian was stronger than he looked and held his hands at the wrists. Green eyes locked on his, questioning, searching. And somehow Mickey relaxed enough to nod up and down.
There was that predatory smirk again before those lips were on his once more, firmer now, with puprose and determination. But it was a brief and tame kiss, which he was grateful for. Because if Ian tried to take it further, put his hands on him or slipped him the tongue, he wasn't quite sure what would happen. Could end up in a fuck or a fight, Mickey wasn't certain. All that he was certain of, was that his skin was on fire, his heart was thumping wildly and he was breathing harshly.
"Think of it as an advance payment...or a loan," Ian said next, waking him from his haze.
"Huh?"
"You can repay me"
"How the fuck do you expect me to pay your pampered ass back. Piss poor here, remember".
Ian laughed, once again causing an unfamiliar flutter in his chest and Mickey smiled automatically upon hearing the pleasant sound.
"There's other ways to pay me back Mick," Ian replied with a cheeky grin.
"Fuck off, you think cos you kissed me I'm some sort of prostitute...I'm not even gay man".
He almost choked on the lie and judging by Ian's amused expression he wasn't buying it either.
"If you say so. Besides, that's not what I had in mind....but now that you mention it...."
Mickey scratched his eyebrow and flipped him off, barely containing a smile.
"Fine. No sexual favours, got it, " Ian joked, his hands held up in the air, "I just meant you can pay me back by maybe hanging out with me once it a while, that's all".
"You just want me to hang out with you...and you'll basically pay me for it...the fuck is wrong with you man?".
Ian cackled and shook his head, "nothings wrong with me. I just fucking like you or whatever and I already told you; the moneys insurance, protecting that pretty face of yours".
Mickey's middle finger was raised once more while his face was busy heating up, "ok fuck, fine, i'll take the cash. But not promising you anything. You're fucking weird man, not sure how much more of you I can handle".
Ian's face lit up and he cocked his head in that boyish, mischievous way again, "pretty sure you can handle a lot Mick," he paused and hummed, "hopefully".
"The fuck," he whispered, the word coming out in a shuddery breath. "I'm outta here. Good luck with being rich now or whatever".
He waved at him, clumsily and awkwardly, before swiftly heading towards the door.
"Don't be a stranger Mickey".
He didn't even need to turn around to recognise the grin that cocky redhead was undoubtedly sporting. Ian Gallagher. Of all the houses. Of all the situations. This night had not turned out like he had expected. He paused at the door, his fingertip tracing over his bottom lip, somehow still feeling Ian's lips there. Fuck. Mickey already knew it. He needed to kiss him again.
"Whatever. See ya later, firecrotch".
❤🎁🎄🌈
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probably a weird thing to ask you but you seem to have watched a lot of those panels. why do you think they keep doing those cons. outside i guess of the money. i'm asking as someone who hasn't seen their panels at all. maybe one day i will. but like, i think, what do you think j2 (and the rest of the cast presumably) get out of it.
thank you again for this ask, i am very happy to have an excuse to talk about this! i have not been in this fandom very long (about 2 years now) and i mostly just make stuff so i think i still have a slightly outsider perspective, so i suppose take all this with that in mind. :)
straight away, for sure the financial aspect is gonna be part of it - and i imagine especially so for the cast that participates that had smaller roles. but that aside, i don't genuinely believe that the main cast would continue to do these for so long unless they enjoyed it and got something positive out of it, especially being that they are actively working on other projects too. they actually talked about this, in a way, at this most recent con (nashcon 2024) so i'm going to include some of that - and a bit jared talked about the connections fans have made (chicon 2023). for reasons stated below*, i'm sure there are a bunch of examples of times they've talked about these things i'm not aware of, because i haven't read or watched that much panel content. but here's a small sampling.
jared and jensen main pain, nashcon 2024 question: what has it been like to watch the entire fandom change and grow over these last many years, and people who have been at these conventions change and grow?
jared and jensen gold panel chicon 2023 question: what's your favorite fan interaction over the years?
to go along with this, i think it's part and parcel to the topic; i really do believe they truly are invested and care about their characters and the story. the way they've talked about the revival/season 16/whatever you call it, they're all in to go back to it. jared even mentioned at one point if they had shorter seasons (which they asked for repeatedly), they might still be making the show. i don't have concrete examples i can point to in panels, but i think if you do watch them talk about their characters much, there's a lot of thoughtfulness and care there.
Would you be open to returning to Sam Winchester? I feel like there are more stories for that character and, with The Winchesters done, it's a weird time to be a Supernatural fan with no new Supernatural on television for the first time in almost 20 years. It is weird, right? It's weird for you to say that and weird for me to realize it. The simple answer to your question is 100%. I will play Sam Winchester again. Jensen will play Dean Winchester again. It's more of a timing and availability thing. In hindsight, Jensen and I have always said "always," if we ever have the option. I think in the last two or three seasons of Supernatural, when we realized somebody might want more, we said "2025. In 2020, we're ending this. Let's get together in five years and see what Sam and Dean are up to." I'm going to see him in a few weeks to talk to him about it again. We've talked about it a few times. He and I are both champing at the bit to see what these boys have been up to and what else good they can do in this world or the next. I'm excited about it. My only contingency about it is, with Jensen and I being so protective of the show and the characters, the story has to be absolutely right. I don't just put on flannel and big coat, get in an Impala and say "Dean!" That won't work for Jared. It needs to have a purpose, as Sam and Dean always did.
via cbr, walker season 4 interview with jared
and i think they just have fun! they've developed a relationship with fandom that works for them in this format and they get to play around on stage with their friends and entertain people that love them. at the end of the day, it is a job for them, and they are putting on a performance; but i wouldn't be so cynical to think they aren't being somewhat genuine within that framework.
jared and jensen dccon 2023 main panel question: How long have you guys been friends?
and not to be totally j2 brained, but when you have a connection with someone like this, maybe it also isn't such a hardship to keep working together
*i actually haven't actually watched many panels! but fortunately for me (us), i have seen a lot of gifs and transcriptions. i have a hard time with the video format for reasons. when i decide to make gifs, it's often because i saw a quote or snippet somewhere and i go looking for the conversation to get a clip of, and sometimes might bump into something else that grabs me while i'm there. fortunately, a lot of the videos on youtube have at least autogenerated captions so i can scroll through the transcript there/search for keywords, etc. @eisforeidolon transcribes selections of questions from cons periodically, which i'm forever grateful for. a not insignificant chunk of my panel related show/cast trivia has been gleaned from those.
#j2#jared padalecki#jensen ackles#chicon 2023#chicon#nashcon 2024#nashcon#mygifs#j2gifs#j2 cons#j2 gifs#asks#bloodyentrails#dccon 2023#long post
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