#it feels heavy when he is without essence which leads him to suffering from severe migraines etc.

[mystiya]

love how kuya says that xerxes got useless eyes and yet this mf has a gemstone as his left eye💀

[spirk-trek]

Saw your post about struggling with life and I don't have any fic recommendations but maybe it'd be a nice distraction to share something you've been working on? Do you have any WIPs? Ideas? No pressure. I like to share my creativity with others when I'm down so I don't get stuck in my own head when life gets hard. Love your writing ❤️❤️ If that's too much right now you can just delete this and think about Jim and Spock kissing for a while ❤️

aw, anon, thank you. i like this idea a lot. it actually did help distract me :)

i wrote this almost a year ago after watching the tng episode 'future imperfect.' i have a little more written, but this is all i have ready to share without editing <3 ironically enough, super angsty. whoops. the plan was (is?) to have jim suffer a reoccurrence of vegan choriomeningitis (it's mentioned in the mark of gideon he almost died from it when he was young). it causes his memories to revert back to before he had it. each time he wakes up he's "moved forward" in time, aka his memories, but this also means the disease is progressing and killing him faster... ouch.

anyway! enjoy!

~*~*~*~

Conditions aboard the bridge were entirely normal.

It was a statement Spock would come to repeat several times in his logs. Conditions were, indeed, entirely normal. Alpha shift had recently begun, so with coffee dispersed and stations dutifully filled, the Enterprise was humming to life with familiar sights and sounds. Jim scratching tiredly at his jaw. Spock watching him without intending to. Jim grinning when their gazes caught each other’s.

Normal. Typical. Routine.

Spock swiveled his chair back around to face his station and began reviewing the updated positional reports. They were still halfway between one destination and the next, meaning a day heavy with scanning, navigation, and probe arrays which would follow the ship through space like silvery fish in the wake of a whale. Spock scanned over each plotted path until his chair tipped back imperceptibly.

“Anything interesting, Mr. Spock?”

Spock’s back remained straight, eyes forward. “As your use of that word is frequently subjective-” 

He froze as the weight behind him shifted forward, breath ghosting over his ear and down the side of his face. It smelled of mint. A meager sip of coffee. A fresh day.

“Oh well,” Jim lamented. “I suppose we’ll j-”

The half formed word cut off as he straightened abruptly. It was peculiar enough for a crease to appear between Spock’s brows before he turned to find a similarly confused expression on Jim’s face.

Then, he fell.

Consciousness fled the Captain all at once, jaw slack, eyes rolling as he went boneless, crumpling inelegantly to the floor. Spock’s reaction stuttered along with his heart below his ribs, stillness creeping into the world like death. 

 “Alert Doctor McCoy.” Spock gave the order to whoever decided to carry it out, ejecting himself from his chair and falling to his knees just as Lieutenant Uhura stood and took a step toward the Captain’s fallen form.  There was no expression in his suddenly pallid face, no hint of the man who had leaned into Spock moments ago. 

Spock spread long fingers over the side of Jim’s face, and a sensation so cold crept into him that he felt bile threaten to lurch up from the bottom of his stomach. 

It was... nothing.

Nothing. No pull from the meld points, even as he pressed the pads of his fingers to them, ignoring the circling of the crew. It did not matter if they could see his hand begin to shake as it parted from Jim’s brow, sliding instead to press against the side of his neck. Checking his pulse was not strictly necessary; Spock could hear the heart continue to beat below him even without contact, but he could not feel him. His essence. His spirit. Jim.

As members of the crew continued to surround them, Spock had to fight off a sudden swell of possessiveness which beckoned his limbs to curl around his t'hy'la. To force his mind inside the other’s and find where he had gone. To lead him away from those in this world who did not understand him as he-

“What happened?” 

The question was urgent, carried tightly through the warp of a Russian accent. The molten edge to Spock’s vision receded, but the feeling deep within him did not.

“The Captain has had a sudden loss of consciousness,” he answered promptly in a voice that was not his own. He forced his hands, heavy, clumsy, useless, away from the points on Jim’s face again. They had gravitated upward without any accompanying decision by their owner, and Spock found he did not know where to put them. He left them to curl like dead tree bark against the blackness of his knees as Sulu squatted down on the other side of Jim’s body. His gaze bounced between Spock’s face and his Captain’s chest, which rose and fell irregularly. Nobody spoke. Then, the swish of doors.

“Where is he?”

Spock sat back, preemptively accepting the doctor’s protrusion into the space when suddenly, his breath caught in his own throat. Or had it been Jim’s? He blinked hard against an impending dizziness, their bond shattering back through the walls of his mind so intensely, for a moment he was not able to tell their consciousnesses apart. He stared wide eyed at the still form on the ground, unable to feel relief through the sour, neon emotions writhing into his head.

Grief. Fear. Pain.

“Spock? What the devil-”

Through the sudden onslaught of disorientation, he somehow managed to witness Jim resurrect himself. Hazel eyes snapped open, wide and unseeing even as Jim scrambled to his feet, and the first action he took was to lunge at McCoy, savagely taking the hypospray from his hand and throwing it across the room with such force it sent smoke and sparks flying from behind shards of a shattered screen. The sudden burst of their bond had simmered again to an unsteady flow of crackling static, half formed impressions finding their way to him like last season’s leaves through a shallow stream. 

Fear. Aloneness. Panic. 

He stood, approaching Jim without a second thought. The man would not look at him. He was a cornered animal, glinting with sweat, whites of his eyes visible around wild, dark irises.

“Jim.”

When those eyes finally swiveled onto him, they were a stranger’s. 

“Stay away from me,” he hissed, teeth bared, shoulders hunched. 

Their connection stuttered again and disappeared altogether. Spock barely resisted the urge to clutch an arm around his abdomen at the feeling of loss.

“Jim,” he said again weakly, almost to himself.

“I said stay away!”

The Captain looked down as if he hadn’t noticed his own body, scrambling clumsily for his phaser and looking it over until he found the controls. A hand grabbed at Spock’s shoulder from behind.

“Spock. I don't think that’s Jim.”

Spock frowned at the realization that, for once, he did not have the one tool at their disposal which could tell them for sure. The connection of their bond continued to lie dormant. Dark. 

There was a click, and everyone in the room froze. Jim noticed and looked around, leveling the phaser at them. 

“I’ll shoot,” he threatened, and Spock grew colder still at the realization his voice was wavering. The breath released through his nose shook, and moisture gathered unmistakably along his row of lower lashes. Spock couldn’t help but take another step forward and those wild eyes turned onto him again. Jim’s hands around the phaser were shaking so violently, the movement dislodged a hair to curl over his forehead.

“I said I’ll shoot!”

“Spock,” McCoy hissed. In his peripheral vision he could see the doctor’s hands raising slowly in surrender. “I think he means it.”

Spock forced his feet flat to the floor. Blinking slowly, he kept his eyes raised to meet Jim’s. I’m here, he pushed out over the connection, but the sensation of the thought dropping off unheard into space was almost palpable. Jim did not react to him, instead switching his gaze to any number of faces in the room. All strangers to him, just as Spock was now. 

“Where is he?”

The question was asked quietly, as if the answer was feared. Spock’s brow furrowed and he cocked his head.

“Where is who, Jim?”

Hazel eyes blinked owlishly at his name but then hardened again. A full body tremor dislodged a tear from each eye, traversing down the sides of Jim's face and dropping from his jaw to leave wet ovals dotting his chest.

“You know who!” 

Spock raised a brow, outwardly calm. “I do not.”

“Kodos.” 

The name was hissed, pain and fear crumpling Jim’s expression, wilting him. Spock shared a look with McCoy. As Jim watched them, his anger flared again. 

“I said where is-”

The sentence weakened and he was blinking, fingers loosening around the phaser until it nearly slipped from his grasp before he tightened his fist around it again. His weight rolled backward and he took several stumbling steps away. This time, it was McCoy who stepped forward, hand twitching toward his spare hyposprays. Spock remained still, as if any movement may cause him to miss something crucial. Dark eyes stayed trained on Jim as he regained tension in his posture. He used his free hand to prop himself against the red shelf at the perimeter of the bridge, his free hand leveling the phaser with some difficulty.

“I asked where Kodos is,” he said emphatically, pleading at the same time as demanding. His chest heaved as he flicked eyes up to McCoy. “Get- Get away from me with that shit.”

Spock nearly swallowed his own tongue in surprise at the language used. He saw several members of the crew exchange glances. 

McCoy raised both hands again. “Jim, we don’t-”

The hand around the phaser flexed and he jerked it around deliriously. He pulled at the collar of his uniform, sweat now pouring down his face. 

“Don’t give me that bullshit! Tell me where he is!”

Jim’s hand slipped from where it was propping him up and he sank to his knees, chest slamming into the shelf as he did. He bounced back, pulling the phaser into his lap even as his eyes barely remained open, pushing with his heels until he collided with the wall. The doctor seemed content with the risk of approaching him, and although Jim’s body gave an almighty twitch of protest, slack hands appeared too weak to attempt to hold onto the weapon when McCoy slipped it away and sent it scattering along the floor.

“What’s happening to me?” 

Spock could hear the question from where he stood, but only just. It was quiet. Distant. He sounded like… a boy.

“We’re gonna figure that out,” McCoy told him softly before pulling a hypo out of his back pocket. Once again Jim seemed determined to get away but his feet slid for purchase against the carpet unsuccessfully, lips parting as he listed to one side. McCoy grasped one golden shoulder and righted him.

“Please. I’ll be good, I…”

McCoy stuck him in the arm and Jim whimpered, looking absolutely despondent even as the spray began to take effect. McCoy grabbed him by the jaw and turned him so their eyes met.

“We’re here to help you, not hurt you. Now, go to sleep.”

And with that, Jim once again collapsed into nothing. The doctor let him continue his descent until he laid flat on the floor, guiding him onto his back. After a quick scan he looked around the room.

“Well? Who’s gonna help me get him down to sick bay?”

~*~*~*~ to be continued...?

[wallgirl]

The Little Nereid Part 16

Record of Ragnarok fanfiction

Poseidon x OC

Word count: 2,800

Dynamene, youngest of the 50 Nereids, has lived most of her adolescence as a servant alongside her sisters at Poseidon’s palace. But with her coming-of-age birthday and other developments, what she initially thought was just admiration of her master blossoms into something stronger and more passionate… and painful. Loving someone like Poseidon is not easy period, let alone as your first love. But Dynamene is young and naïve, and all she wants is a chance to be at the sea god’s side.

Categories and warnings: Romance, angst, unrequited love, coming-of-age, earn-your-happy-ending, slow-burn (ish); no sexual content. Graphic violence parts 15 and 16.

Updated regularly; will have about 20 parts total.

Edit AGAIN 9/16: Changed and added some text at the end, particularly with Poseidon. Didn’t save first time.

Violence and body horror throughout this chapter, largely unavoidable. It's too relevant to the plot. Not terribly graphic - more PG-13 than R - but it is disturbing, so be warned.

—

The prongs had completely passed through her body to the other end. Dynamene staggered backwards, her legs giving out. She opened her mouth to scream, to gasp, to make any sound, but was unable to. She brought her shaking hands up to her chest and stared as her lifewater began to drip from the punctures.

Poseidon's face turned to one of disbelief, then horror. The magic that had transformed her appearance melted away as her body began to weaken, revealing the petite girl's real form. He swallowed, pale hand clenching the trident, as he watched her stare at her chest in disoriented confusion. The silvery water that flowed was the blood of a Nereid, magic water in essence; something that could not be replicated.

"Dynamene," he whispered. "Dynamene." No. This can't be.

She looked up at him in a daze, eyes glazing over. The look of horror on his face seemed to register in her mind, and for a moment, she lifted one arm in his direction. Then her legs buckled and her eyes closed.

He removed the trident slowly, his knuckles white from the death grip. He dropped to one knee to catch her with his free arm as the prongs came loose. One hand went to her injuries, feeling the lifewater that seeped between his fingers. "Dynamene," he repeated hoarsely, commanding her to awaken. Her eyelids didn't even flutter.

It was then that the situation hit him entirely, and he grit his teeth. He tore part of the fabric off of his waist wrap and wrapped it about her chest deftly. She was still breathing, although each breathe was shallow and ragged. Time was of the essence, and he had to think fast.

Humans would not have survived such a blow, but Nereids were effectively shapeshifting ocean spirits that took a human form. Their bodies were made up of living water instead of flesh and organs, which rendered them impervious to most injuries. However, Poseidon's trident was able to harm any being regardless of body material, and Dynamene's body would begin to disintegrate from the trauma.

Lifting her up into his arms, he turned towards the doorway. There was no time to waste.

With improbable timing, he heard dozens of footsteps clamoring up the stairs, followed by worried shouts. "What's happened? What was that clamor? Lord Poseidon, are you okay?"

The other Nereids came bursting in with Actaea at the head. There was a moment of terrible silence as they took in the scene before them, then cries of disbelief.

"What... What have you DONE?!" Actaea screamed, lunging at Poseidon. Three other sisters quickly grabbed her by the arms, struggling to hold her back. "What did you do to her?!"

"There's no time to explain," Poseidon said coldly. "Don't give me a reason to hurt any of the rest of you."

"You monster! I'll kill you myself!" Actaea shrieked, yanking to get out of her sisters' grasp. Her pupils were full-blown in her rage, her steaming hair swirling angrily about her face. "How dare you hurt her! How could you?!"

Poseidon didn't let her words' effect on him show through in his expression as he looked coolly at the others. "Dynamene had magic used on her. It wasn't any power of the gods. Where might she have had access to this magic?"

The other Nereids backed away from him reproachfully, looking less and less human as their fury consumed them. One finally spoke up in a trembling voice. "Is... Is there not a witch that took up residence a few centuries ago not far from here?"

"How do you know that?" Another sister snapped back.

"A mermaid acquaintance of mine went to see her some time ago for help... She made a deal with her to solve a relationship matter. The deal wasn't much in her favor, unfortunately."

Poseidon's face darkened further. Would Dynamene really have made a deal with a witch?

Of course she would've... If it had meant being by my side. Foolish, silly, stupid-

He couldn't allow his thoughts to go any further, not when the subject of his berating was curled up limp in his arms. "Where is this witch?"

"Um... She lives in one of the deepest trenches, but I know little else..."

"Useless," Poseidon huffed. "Get out of my way." He stepped in front of the Nereids that continued to block the doorway.

There was a tense moment of defiance as the Nereids continued to stand in his way, unwilling to let him depart with their wounded youngest sister. His lip curled in outrage, and he began to raise his hand towards his discarded trident. Actaea, her expression now somber, spoke again in a defeated voice. "Let him pass... There's nothing we can do for Dynamene in this state. I don't want anyone else getting harmed." Her sisters listened, and reluctantly parted to allow him through. As he strode past, they got a closer look at their mortally wounded sister. Several of them broke out into wails and sobs.

Poseidon clenched his jaw and held the still Nereid closer to his chest. Save your mourning. She's not dead. Not yet.

Dynamene's body was beginning to dissolve. Drops of shimmering water began to fall from her fingertips and toes. She'd be dead before dawn if Poseidon didn't find a solution soon. But he was inexperienced with the concept of healing anything other than sea life; he pressed his hand against her torso, willing the bleeding to stop in vain. The liquid continued to flow.

It really had been her that sat across from him and confessed her love for him in tears. And what was his response? Gutting her like the monster everyone had warned her he was. He had messed up. It wasn't my fault, he told himself. She has no pulse. Her appearance was different. I could feel foreign magic about her. But then that led to the conclusion that he was able to be tricked by the power of lesser beings, and he found himself back at square one.

Enough. She will not die. She belongs to me. Her love for me is unconditional.

And when she wakes again, I will put an end to this chaos.

The wet sand crunched under his heavy boots. The dim starlight illuminated the surface of the ocean faintly before them. He would be able to seek the witch out with his abilities, but that would take time. He wasn't even sure what to look for, asides from a power with the same characteristics as the enchantment that Dynamene had. Time was fighting against him; a precious resource dripping through his grip like her blood onto the sand.

Without prelude, a sudden burst of light the size of a woman appeared in the shallow waves before Poseidon. The light dispersed gently in twinkles and stars, revealing the form of a woman. A faint heavenly glow emanated from her pale skin.

Aphrodite stared at him, her flawless face unusually somber. "Poseidon."

He narrowed his eyes. This was an unexpected development, and not a welcome one. "What the hell do you want? I'm short on time, if you haven't noticed."

She tilted her head, gaze flickering towards the still girl in his hold. "I know where you may find the witch you seek. If I have your guarantee that you won't harm me, I'll tell you."

Poseidon hissed, his clasp on Dynamene tightening. "Of course you would've had a hand in this. Meddling shrew. I should have known. Can  none of you Olympian cretins keep to your own business?" So you were the one to guide Dynamene to that witch. Selfish, narcissistic bitch. How else would you know where to find her?

"Your guarantee, Poseidon," Aphrodite pressed.

He grit his teeth. As much as he longed to rip her head from her body and watch her golden locks stream through the air, he needed her knowledge. "Fine."

Aphrodite stepped closer.

---

Miles away, deep in her underground lair, the witch sat at her table alone. She was aware of her impending fate. Her actions could only lead to this outcome. But she'd accomplished what she'd set out to do, so she was content.

Before her, pulsing gently with a sea-blue light, was a floating orb of liquid. The Nereid's heart. She was the only person to ever see one; perhaps it would remain that way even long after her death. It was a fascinating sight. The mass continued to live in its own way, even apart from its owner. Nereids truly were interesting creatures. She might've studied it, but there was no point now. Her journey was coming to an end.

She had no regrets. Her revenge was now sealed. Hera or Poseidon, it hadn't really mattered which. Fate had truly smiled on her the day before when that little nymph had appeared at her doorstep. So unexpected, but so welcome. She had waited centuries, honing her gifts in the dark, practicing them on others, so that she would be ready for this moment. The witch was not foolish enough to think she would be able to pull one over on both of the gods. Hera would've been best, but Poseidon would do just as well. He was partially to blame for her misfortune too. Now he would suffer, and she could die content.

It was a shame about the Nereid, though. Just a silly child chasing an impossible dream. The witch clicked her tongue sympathetically. Weren't we all, once?

A shudder echoed through the cave, and she heard the water at the entrance slosh with an unseen force. He was nearly here, and she stood patiently next to the table, awaiting his arrival.

Without any further warning, the water erupted upwards like a geyser. The sound was deafening, but the witch didn't even blink. Poseidon emerged from the upsurge, water dripping from his bangs before his enraged eyes. In his arms was the nymph; poor young Dynamene. She was deathly pale and had a ragged bandage wrapped about her chest. The witch tutted.

"Witch. You have something that belongs to me." Poseidon's eyes gleamed like a laser in the dim cavern, his chest heaving with barely-restrained wrath.

"It's here, Poseidon." The witch set her hand next to the shimmering orb. "The Nereid's heart. You won't have much use for it, though. I see she's already on death's door. Returning her heart will do no good. Replacing an organ is no help when the body is already shutting down."

"You will return it immediately. I will not repeat myself." Poseidon's trident materialized in his free hand as he shifted Dynamene into the opposite arm.

"Oh? Is there finally something the mighty sea tyrant cannot do?" The witch asked, feigning surprise. "Pathetic." Her tone flattened.

"Your enchantment," Poseidon stormed on. "What did you do to her?"

"I gave her what she desired. A chance to be with you. Oh, she just adores you. I'm sure that will have changed, though. Those wounds bleeding through the wrap look an awful lot like trident punctures to me. Weren't able to tell she was the real thing without that heartbeat to listen to, were you?"

Poseidon's eyes grew even wider as he realized the witch's plot. "You planned this."

"I did." The witch shuffled back around the table, gently taking Dynamene's heart into her hands. "Do you remember when we met, Poseidon? It was at some gathering of the gods, say, three or four hundred years ago."

Poseidon's face clenched further with anger at her idling, losing his patience rapidly. "I've never met a hag like you in my life."

"I wasn't like this when we met." The witch brought her hand to her white cheek with a wistful look. "I was beautiful. I came from a wealthy and powerful family with demigod blood. Hera made a deal with me, you see. If I successfully seduced you, she would shower me with blessings and gifts on our wedding day. She told me everything about you to give me a leg up. Even about your ability to hear certain heartbeats." Her hand dropped away. "But I failed, as I was guaranteed to, and she was thoroughly upset. I was turned into this. So here I've lived, all these years, cast away from society into these deep trenches, waiting.... for her." The witch smiled at Dynamene. "The perfect opportunity. Heaven sent, even." She sighed. "It's a shame. She's still so young, but..." The witch shrugged. "Cracking an egg, omelets, all that. Just someone caught in the peripheral."

"Enough with your monologuing, you insolent bitch!" The muscles on Poseidon's arm grew more defined and taut as he aimed his trident at her. His face was contorted with murderous intent. "Heal Dynamene, now!"

"I can't. What reason did I ever have to learn healing magic?" There was no regret in her milky eyes as she shrugged once more. "And even if I was knowledgeable in medicine, it would be no use. Nereids are so rare. Only fifty, as you know. Their anatomy is a mystery."

Poseidon's gaze sank down to Dynamene. Her breathes were many seconds apart now. There was no more time to waste. He held her more firmly against him and lowered his stance to steady his aim at the witch. "Then die now."

"Gladly. I knew this would be the price to pay for my revenge. For breaking the sea god's nonexistent heart. And to think that it was as easy as this." The witch broke into a laugh that grew until it boomed off the cavern's walls.

Without further ado, Poseidon rushed her.

And with a single swing, the witch's head left her body. The pale thing rolled until it hit up against the wall, still laughing. Her eyes rotated to look back at him with their blank gaze. "Don't worry, my lord. There's still forty-nine left, after all."

Without another word, the witch's voice died off and her face stilled.

Poseidon strode over to it and brought his boot down violently. The witch's skull shattered under his heel. He resisted the urge to continue stomping until nothing solid remained. Dynamene needed his focus now; he could vent his rage later. He wiped the sole of his boot off on the rug and carried her back to the entrance of the cavern.

Lying her next to the rippling pool, he retrieved her heart from where it continued to glow, unbothered, upon the table. It felt like cool gel in his hands with a definite pulse, one that was all too familiar to him. He returned to kneel beside her and, propping her back up with one arm, he undid the makeshift bandage.

Her body was nearly hollow where he had gored her. His lips parted in disbelief. Before his eyes, her flesh was turning to liquid that ran onto the cavern's rocky floor. Poseidon quickly pressed her heart into the hollow. It shimmered for a moment, the liquid solidifying and connecting with the open edges of her body, before its light sputtered out and the pulse stopped. Just like the rest of her, it started to melt away.

Poseidon swallowed hard now, his face stiff. It was time to face the gravity of the situation. Dynamene would not be waking up.

He turned his face away for a moment, unable to look at the wounds he had made on her slight body. She had trusted him. She had clung to his side despite the warnings of everyone else. And like a sick joke, their predictions had come true. Gutted just like Adamas, a voice whispered in the back of his head. He bit his lower lip until it bled. How was it that the mighty sea god, capable of stopping tsunamis and commanding schools of fish, was unable to save one girl?

This shouldn't be happening, his mind spun. This isn't happening. She can't die. I can save her.

No, I can't. I'm the one who killed her.

His throat was growing tight, an alien sensation. She can't die. She belongs with me. A thousand years spent living in the same palace flickered through his mind. From a shy little girl to a headstrong, passionate young woman, he had watched her life; he had watched as her world began to revolve around him without his meaning for it to. And without his permission, his world began to be colored by her as well. Perhaps it had been inevitable. She belongs with me. I don't want her to leave.

He held her closer to him, caressing her damp cheek with careful fingers. The silence that rung from her body made the stillness around them all the heavier. Her face was growing sunken, her cheeks almost gaunt. He wanted to see her eyes just one more time; wide pools of steel gray that reflected him amongst the stars in their depths, as if he was the only thing that mattered. Stay with me.

And as her body released its final breath, he slowly leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.

---

Author’s Notes: Sergei Prokofiev's Romeo Bids Juliet Farewell piece is so beautifully done. The first half sounds so remorseful.

I realized that, writing this chapter in particular, Poseidon seems less like canon RoR Poseidon. I was irritated about that at first, but then I realized that he's different because this story requires him to go through character development. That's important for a love interest. I'm not as frustrated anymore lol

[zeravmeta]

fuck it. soma cruz fgo servant profile bc i make my own content

Servant: / Servant Class: Soma Cruz / Alter Ego

Origin: / Region: Castlevania Series / Japan, 2035

Alignment: Lawful Neutral(?) “Yeah, not sure how I classify as Lawful given my past life, but whatever.”

Aliases: The Dark Lord, Dracula, Soma Cruz

Parameters: STR (B) / END (A+) / AGL (B+) / MP (EX) / LUK (A) / NP (???) 

Class Skills: Authority of Beasts (Fake), Core of Chaos (A), One Who Severs Fate (A)

Character Info: “In order for God to be perfectly Good, there must always exist an embodiment of Chaos, a Dark Lord to emerge from the evil of humanity’s hearts.”

For one thousand years, the Belmont bloodline had opposed the terrible night that Count Dracula would bring with his powers. After generations of suffering, the Belmont’s latest mantle bearer, Julius Belmont, along with their generational allies, the Belnades clan and a nameless soldier, had managed to permanently defeat Dracula with the help of the Hakuba Clan’s shrine magics. Severing his connection to his power and sealing Castlevania, the embodiment of his power, within a solar eclipse, Dracula had finally faced his demise in 1999, prophesied by Nostradamus one millennium ago. Thus, the strongest Dark Lord had fallen, his throne empty and awaiting a new master.

In 2035, Soma Cruz had visited the Hakuba Shrine to meet with his childhood friend Mina, unaware of the birthright he would claim.

Skills:

Chaos Ring A: An extremely powerful construct that channels the very essence of Chaos. It can only be found by the one who can traverse and control the Chaos Realm, the Dark Lords personal right. Wearing it grants the unlimited magical power of the Chaos Realm, but actual output depends on the user. If the Demon King’s Ring is the symbol of Dracula and his reign, then the Chaos Ring could be considered the symbol of Soma and his new beginning.

Thematic narratives aside, it’s a very convenient tool for Soma.

“It’s weird, but it feels like…it was made for me. Almost like a welcome gift.”

[5->3 Turns] [Charge NP (20%->30%), Increase NP Gain (10%->25%) (3 Turns), Gain a Delayed buff 1 turn after skill use (Unremovable): [Charge NP (20->30%)]

Armament Master D: Soma is extremely proficient at using any and all forms of weaponry. Due to Dracula’s vast reach, Soma has a vast number of different modern and mythical weapons and gear at his disposal, notable weapons including Excalibur (sealed in the stone), Hrunting, Caladbolg, Mjolnir, and even a Positron Rifle, to name a few. However, one weapon unique to Soma is the Claimh Solais, an Irish sword of light mentioned in many legends and defining the archetype of “Sword of Light.” It provides a great boost to parameters and is surprisingly light weight despite its size. Another unique weapon he wields is the Valmanway, the “Blessed Wind” that is always ‘cutting’ even when still.

(The rank is D because despite his proficiency, Soma has never had any formal training.)

“I mean, it’s just a sword, right? How complex is it? You can just swing it and things die. Though…considering I have ol’ Drac’s memories…sorta, maybe I’m just remembering it?”

[8->6 Turns] [Increase Atk (10%->20%) (3 Turns), Gain Critical Stars (5->15), Increase Critical Star Absorption (3000%) (3 Turns), Increase Critical Damage (10%->20%) (3 Turns), Apply Special Attack against Sky, Star and Beast attribute enemies (20%->40%) (3 Turns)]

Power of Dominance (EX): Soma’s inheritance from Dracula, or more fittingly, the Chaos Entity opposite to God. The Power of Dominance is a unique ability that grants a complete mastery over the abilities of any and all souls Soma can acquire from the enemies he defeats. All the monsters that Dracula unleashed in his crusade against humanity are the countless souls under his domain, even that of Death itself, and their powers rightly belong to him.

Soma can differentiate between the types of Soul Arts he uses, and this reflects accordingly in his Noble Phantasm.

“I never wanted this power, but I guess I’m stuck with it. I’ll always carry the target on my back, but at least I can look awesome as hell while doing it, I suppose.”

[5->3 Turns] [Decrease Enemy Charge by 1 (20%->50%), Select own NP Command Card’s type between Quick, Arts or Buster for 3 Turns. Effect of NP changes depending on which Command Card Type is selected. This skill is immune to debuff effects (such as Skill Seal)]

Noble Phantasm:

Advent of Sorrow – He Who Severed His Fate Against Chaos and God / Anti-Divine, Anti-Self / Rank (???)

A manifestation of Soma’s power truly made his own, separate from the title of Dark Lord and Dracula. Having defeated the Chaos Entity, he managed to sever its connection to his soul, and be saved from his Fate. Even so, he carries the Power of Dominance with him always, and the countless souls and followers of Chaos always wait and offer themselves unto Soma to lead and command them. In his own imperfect way, neither holy nor demonic.

After all, he’s only human.

(Note: If used by the true Count Dracula, this would be considered an Anti-Humanity NP)

[Type: Buster] – [Deals massive damage to a single enemy (1200%->2400%), Chance to Decrease Charge by 1 (80%->100%). Overcharge: Increases own Buster Card Effectiveness (20%) (1 Turn) and NP Damage (1 Turn) (20%) (Activates First)]

[Type: Arts] – [Deals heavy damage to all enemies (400%->800%), Chance to decrease Atk (15%->25%) and Critical Chance (20%->30%). Overcharge: Inflict Curse (5 Turns).]

[Type: Quick] – [Apply Debuff Immune (1 Time), and Restore HP each turn for self (3 Turns) (1000->1500), and Increase NP Gauge each turn for self (3 Turns) (5%). Overcharge: Apply Def Up for all allies (3 Turns) (25%->50%).]

Bond Lines: 

Bond 1: “Heh, thanks for having me! I’m still not too sure about how all this stuff works here, but if you need a monster taken down, I’m your guy.”

Bond 2: “So the rest of those dudes call you ‘Master’? Kind of awkward, but I guess they’re magical familiars at the end of the day. What? So am I? Sorry but, vampiric powers aside, I’m just a normal guy. I was even in University before I got dragged here. I’ll just call you [name] for now.”

Bond 3: “Do you like curry? Arikado said I shouldn’t be using these monster souls for dumb stuff, but they don’t mind. They always talk to me and really want to help me out wherever I am. Except Death, that guy sucks. He’s always breaking into my home and trying to convince me to become the next Dark Lord and to ‘accept my throne’ and stuff.”

Bond 4: “…It scares me, sometimes. Knowing not only what I am, but what I’m very capable of.”

Bond 5: “Y’know…you could always come back with me to my world, if you want to escape. I’ll take you to meet Mina, and Hammer and Yoko and Julius and Arikado and…Hm. Sorry. I know you can’t abandon this world, it’s where you grew up. There’s…a lot of people here who love you. You should always remember that and hold it close. It saved my life when I thought I couldn’t go on, and I know it will also save yours.”

Voice Lines:

(1): “I’m glad this place is a lot simpler than the castle. That place had so many hidden rooms and puzzles that I felt like I was going insane…No, as a matter of fact, DON’T tell me about all the secret workshops here.”

(2): “Hm? What’s up? I’m just relaxing here. Sorry if I’m taking up space. It’s nice to just take a moment.”

(3): “No, no, don’t worry. Even if I could, I’m not the type of guy to just go around stealing souls. I only do that to monsters, and even then, they become complacent once they return to me. I could show you some of the fun ones, like the Skeleton Gardener, if you’d like.”

Likes: “What I like? Curry! Oh, and Mina. She’s been with me for my whole life. I don’t know what I’d do without her.”

Dislikes: “This is gonna sound cliché, but garlic. It just tastes bad.”

Event: “Whoa, a party! Let’s go, I’m super bored cooped up in here.”

About The Holy Grail: “Wish granting? No thanks, I’ve read a ton of comics and things always go wrong. What? Of course, it’s a valuable source!”

Summon Quote: “Yo! My name is Soma Cruz. I’m just a regular high school student. Um…Where am I, exactly?”

Happy Birthday: “Happy Birthday, [name]! I’m so gonna throw you the coolest party ever! I’ll even invite Mina…If, uh, if that’s cool with you?”

(King Hassan): “D-Death!? Why are you…Oh. Uh, sorry about that. You reminded me of...someone. I’m sure you’re a cool guy underneath all that armor.”

(Vlad/Vlad III (EXTRA)): “Huh. So, in this world, the legend of Dracula is just that? A legend? Well, that’s a huge relief. I’m not exactly the kingly type.”

(Gilgamesh/Gilgamesh (Caster)): “Hey [name], could you give me a hand? This gold idiot keeps saying I stole his weapons, but they’re mine! …Hey! Stay back with those portal things! Someone, help!!!”

(Scathach): “Jeez, I bet Arikado will get along with that slave driver. Seriously, Arikado’s method of teaching me my powers amounted to locking me in a room with monsters and a pocketknife. Huh? She’s stomping over here!? [name], help me!”

(Marie Antionette): “I don’t know why, but…Looking at you makes me sad. I’m sorry.”

(Sessyoin Kiara): “Master, this lady is coming onto me WAY too hard. She keeps telling me to ‘embrace what I am’ and junk. I already get enough of that crap from cultists back home.”

(Sakata Kintoki/Astolfo/Romulus/Romulus-Quirinus/Ashwatthama): “Hey, you’re a pretty cool dude, huh? Finally, someone with some style!”

(Amakusa Shirou): “Ugh, you remind me of Fortner. And stop using rosaries around me, I’m not Satan, you jerk!”

(Mephistopheles): “Please, leave me alone. I’m not evil, nor will I ever be the Dark Lord. Just because I have those powers doesn’t mean I’m defined by them. Also, the alarm clock you gave me exploded, so I don’t think you’re all that trustworthy anyways.”

(Beni Enma): “Aww, you’re so cute...Wait, from the Underworld? A yokai? Guess you’re one of mine, then. If you want, I can loan you some Skeleton Waiters for your chain.”

(Any Avenger-Class Servant): “Hey, you guys are kinda like me! Everyone says you’re evil, but you’re actually really nice!”

(Arcueid Brunestud): “Master, that girl is shooting me some pretty weird looks....Huh? Reincarnating vampire? Oh, I guess I’d look pretty weird in that case. That’s not her fault, though. Maybe I’ll go say hi.”

QQABB Deck:

Buster Card: 2 Hit / -Soma raises Excalibur (still in the stone) and smashes it into the enemy-

Quick Card: 5 Hit / -Soma holds Valmanway in front of him, turns around, and multiple slashes envelop the enemy-

Art Card: 3 Hit / -Soma does two horizontal strikes, then a third overhead strike with Claimh Solais-

Extra Card: 6 Hit / -Soma punches twice, does a spin-attack with Claimh Solais, then jumps back and fires his Positron Rifle-

Level Up: “Whew…I feel so powerful.”

Ascension 1: “Whoo! Good job, [name].” 

Ascension 2: “This…This is just like then…[name], maybe don’t do this anymore.”

Ascension 3: “Please…stop. I don’t know if I can pull myself back this time…”

Ascension 4: “I see. Well…as long as you’re by my side, I’ll never succumb. So please…don’t die.”

Battle Start ½: “Just how many monsters out there!? In any case, let’s do this thing!” / “I’ll carry the mantle and defeat this terrible night!”

Skill ½: “Bullet, set…Enchanted, set…Guardian, set…” / “How about some of this!”

Attack Selection ½/3: “Hmm.” / “Seriously!?” / “Nice.”

Attack ½/3: “Hraagh!” / “Take this!” / “You’re going down!”

Extra Attack: “Let’s see you handle THIS!”

Noble Phantasm Selection ½: “Are…Are you sure?” / “I’ll trust you on this.”

Noble Phantasm: “I will never be the Dark Lord…You, God, and The World will just have to deal with it!”

Noble Phantasm Damage: “I won’t…Submit...!”

Regular Damage: “Gah!”

Defeated ½: “Mina….” / “Julius…our promise…”

Battle Finish ½: “That was a close one…” / “Anyone need some healing? I have some spare spoiled milk…Oh wait, none of you have a Ghoul soul, huh?”

[iacon-stargazer]

The History of Optimus Prime

The Prime known to future generations only as Thirteen is Orion and Optimus in his truest form, the pure and unmarred essence of his spark. The final fragment of Primus's power, and the closest to the Creator’s own frequency—close enough to face Unicron in his place, to perform the potentially self-sacrificing act of sending them both to stasis via the proximity of their sparks.

There's no resentment over the very real possibility of himself never awakening, no regret. He hasn't yet learned such concepts. He's kind, honest, loving, and fair—to others and himself equally. He's the mediator, and with remarkable success keeps the peace between the range of personalities more extreme than his own.

The battle with Unicron changes things, however. They can no longer be truly said to have a single creator, for even as they succeeded, the touch of chaos left its mark upon them all. No more than a seed at first, it reacts uniquely as it takes root in each of them through the events that follow.

As Optimus watches the family he knew fall apart despite his best efforts to perform his treasured duty, his own seed of darkness germinates—a subtle self-blame flickering through his confusion, a sense that he's just not trying quite hard enough, that he could do better. It's small though, for his knowing that he is doing what he can and always has done.

In the end, it doesn't matter. Liege Maximo, the glib and cunning one of the group, spreads discord until, in a great crest of tragedy, Megatronus accidentally slays Solus in a moment of blind rage. The brothers are devastated, Megatronus not least of all, and he takes up a cloak of banishment, changing his name to "The Fallen". Chaos descends as remainder of them fight, and never before has Optimus felt more helpless.

His grief waters his seed of darkness, and it grows into a gripping pain—an emotional pain the likes of which his young and innocent spark has never before experienced. Lost, suffering, and helpless, when Onyx descends into the Well for the proximity to Primus to keep his spark alive when his fatally wounded frame cannot, and Micronus goes to accompany him, Optimus chooses to join them—not for the peace of that quiet and slow realm, but to step into the Allspark itself. 

"To better understand the new generation, to better be able to help them." Such reasoning bears a heavy weight. Where he has failed his siblings he's determined not to fail again. The possibility for a second chance in a fresh life brings the relief of hope to lighten the guilt and grief he carries. To leave behind and forget his remaining siblings aches, but he can be of more use if he lets himself be reincarnated. He will try harder, do better, and succeed where he has failed before. Informed of this decision, Alpha Trion, the record keeper among them, redacts Optimus’s name from the Covenant of Primus, their great record of history—leaving the Optimus Prime of this age to be remembered simply as “Thirteen”.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

And so Orion Pax emerges. A young mech with the same instinctual sense of goodness, an insatiable curiosity for the world in which he lives, and an unusual interest in its history. Alpha Trion watches over his reborn younger brother, offering him council as well as he can as a friend and mentor.

Orion seems to always have a persistent sense that he's missing something, forgotten something... that there's some purpose to his life that he's forgotten. It's a subtle sense of not-quite-satisfaction, something nagging for him to remember, but always just beyond his reach. He eventually forgets it—or perhaps simply grows so used to it, he ceases to notice.

Until, during his work archiving, he runs across a speech delivered by a rising gladiator in the Pits of Kaon. A gladiator who has named himself after The Fallen of the Thirteen.

As Orion's optics open to Cybertronian society's darker underbelly, so too does something deep inside of him seem to wake up. He takes action, contacts the gladiator, and begins to stand for him, beside him, aiding and reaching out to others in his own ways to bring equality to Cybertron. Despite all odds, they have hope. With this gladiator—named after Megatronus, but sharing as well all the cunning eloquence of Liege Maximo—he has a chance to succeed where his past self has failed.

If only it were that easy.

Megatronus, now with his self-chosen name clipped to Megatron—a far more self-empowered move than his namesake's change—is furious when the council (with perhaps some suggestion from Alpha Trion) offers the goal he's been seeking, a mantle of leadership in the form of Primehood, to Orion instead of himself. It doesn't matter that Orion refuses it. But Orion will make it matter, prove the truth of his intentions; he can do this...

Then in a sudden turning point, light is brought in to shine upon everything this karmic successor to Liege Maximo has kept hidden from him. It's a voluminous and black reality. The peaceful protestor has been a front, as deep beneath he has lead his truest followers to strike out in anger and violence, committing terrorist attacks that sometimes bring down not only the senators they so hate, but any number of innocent bystanders caught in the blazes.

This is the true test for Orion now. He must break through the devastation of his trust and step forward, rise above and bring them back together onto common ground.

He'll give Megatron another chance.

He tries.

It's not enough.

War is not likely. It's imminent. Feeling no other choice, Orion accepts the title he's been offered, and, fighting through the hurt of betrayal, tries to step into the role he seems to be needed in now, as a leader. 

They call him “Optimus Prime.” Something about the name feels familiar, but other parts of him still resist it. He’s no Prime; he does not hold the Matrix. His decision to take the title nonetheless is one of pragmatic necessity; he needs the influence if he’s to make changes from within, and doing so is all the more urgent with Megatron as an enemy. Previously he’d hoped to support and council from the sidelines, as Megatron’s flame of passion was much more suited for leadership than his own quiet justice, but there’s not so much room for choice left for him now. Only he can do this, and so he must.

To lead in war is a great and terrible struggle, a nightmare come to life. He has to stay strong despite the weight of grief and responsibility for every warrior lost upon him. Megatron’s methods grow ever darker and more extreme as it drags on, grinding down Orion’s—no, Optimus’s, technically—hopes of changing his mind ever further, though still he does not give up. The mech he knew has to be in there somewhere still.

Even when Megatron poisons Cybertron’s very core.

Orion—Optimus—makes the journey down to save it himself. He must remove the taint of dark energon, protect the Allspark from its contamination and Megatron’s sinister goals....

There’s something more for him waiting down there. A destiny for him to take on, for only he can do this, and he is needed.

~~~~~

Optimus often clashes with the Matrix, especially at first. However, his will is strong and his ideals rarely compromised. He does recognize, however, that his personal desires are a hindrance. For all that he values individuality, freedom, and choice, he realizes that for others to have that, it’s necessary for him to sacrifice his own. And so as well as he can, he does.

Whereas Orion had once been a relatively emotionally well-adjusted individual, always acknowledging and looking for outlets for his own feelings even if he refrained from expressing them for the sake of others, Optimus begins to repress those of his that hinder him from his duty. At first it is only telling himself he doesn’t have the luxury of dwelling on them just then, but gradually it shifts to the point where he is only subconsciously aware of them until they grow too strong for him to avoid.

He finds outlets, still, in solitary drives and meditations, when those times arrive. Far more rarely does he indulge in the sorts of music he turned to as Orion, and several subjects cease appearing in his journaling.

It builds up, over the vorns, the weight he bears upon him. So many small pains blend together, dulling and numbing in their acuity. His spark never hardens, though, only endures. 

Guilt weighs the heaviest of all, and pushes his martyristic complex all the further. He recognizes the importance of the role he plays—too important for him to ever waver from it—but at the same time, he still refuses to hold his life above that of any other. To let any soldier perish for him would weigh too heavily on him, and so it’s easier for him to offer up his own life as the first alternative, even if that would leave everyone else stranded without him.

They would be strong enough to manage with him gone, he tells himself. 

But his duty is essential and he cannot pause from it, because they need him.

Even his subconscious cannot allow him to recognize the contradictory logic, because he has stood for these ideals so long. The pillars of his identity are forged from these principles, of his duty to those he must protect. Iron-cast and fortified, they hold him up when everything inside is saturated with guilt, pain, and regret he cannot afford to delve into. He cannot question himself anymore, because those pillars, that idea that they need him both holds him up and holds him back. 

By the end, his existence is little else.

When Cybertron is restored, and his quest points him to death, the actualization is a relief. It pains him to leave those he cares for behind, but he’s needed, for one last thing. That moment, as he dives into the Well and releases the Matrix and the Allspark with it, the need for him is fulfilled.

He’s done his part.

The pillars dissolve, and he’s free.

[dio-roga]

‘Let Your Heart Hold Fast (Shadow People)’

Author:               @jjamestiberius (niente) Status:                Complete Word Count:       76,862 Links:                  AO3 Rec No:               #3 (Part One)

The Gist of It (aka. TLDR Sorry, you gotta to read this one. No argument )

‘The best Craig/Clyde story published to date. No, I’m not exaggerating.

Set during their young adult years, Clyde is a hapless romantic, trying to find something in his life to hold onto. Craig is… well– Craig… he’s made some mistakes and faced his share of problems. This beautifully written, fully-fleshed out masterwork tells the story of their reunion and the two of them coming to terms with just how long-overdue it was. The writing is utterly gorgeous and technically-brilliant, and the imagery– honestly dudes –it’ll stick with you long, long after you’re done.

I cannot recommend this one enough. You will not be disappointed.’

Fair Warning: This story was the reason I started writing these things in the first place. I could sing it’s praises from every rooftop until long after my voice gives out. You better believe this is going to run long. Like– we’re talking five thousand words plus… Buckle up buckaroos.

Plot

You know what’s weird? This recommendation turned into the hardest I’ve ever had to write so far, which I find bizarre considering how much I adore this work. I think one of the reasons I’ve been having so much trouble is that I find it very difficult trying to encapsulate the entirety of my feelings towards this story. More than ever before, I’ve been finding it almost impossible to stay objective, to the point of not wanting to give a single thing about the plot away to make certain new readers can experience it as fresh as I did that first time around.

Now wouldn’t that just make for an excellent write up?

But hey dudes, I guess you gotta do what you gotta do… so here we go– in short:

It’s a slow burn read and an especially slow burn for the characters, co-narrated by our two romantic leads (with an introductory chapter provided in Kyle’s point of view), spanning the years of Craig and Clyde’s lives from a failed high school romance to a sudden and quite unwelcome reintroduction after over a decade apart. The main focus from then on out being the gradual reintegration of Clyde back into Craig’s life and Craig back into Clyde’s, along with the fumbling but ultimately endearing mess it all becomes. It’s a slice of life that truly lives up to the name, being effortlessly relatable while also telling a grounded, realistic and very adult-themed story about re-examining old chapters of your life and using them to grow as a person. (Even discovering aspects about people you thought had long since vanished over the years)

I think more than anything, this story reminds me of a sitcom– one of those comforting ones from the 90’s or 00’s, during the peak of its run, were you see it on TV and it’s like spending time with friends you haven’t seen in a while. Everything suddenly clicks and suddenly you’re back in that world, picking up right where you left off. The plot is there, and it’s funny and charming, and inevitably– sometimes a little heart-breaking –but it’s never overwhelming. The story serves the characters, not the other way around. The plot gives way to allow them room to breathe, and it shines all the brighter for it.

Honestly, it’s a brave kind of story to tell, intentionally allowing for a muted delivery and the lack of a primary driving motivator. Under less skilled hands, it’s the kind of plot that could come across as meandering and directionless. But instead, thanks to the utterly captivating writing, it serves its role as a perfect example of understated storytelling– like that perfect splash of color that ties a room together (a simple elegance that Clyde’s attempts at interior decorating during the narrative sadly never match).

Utterly riveting from start to finish, filled with what reads like a lifetime of genuinely magical little moments that’ll make you feel as if you’ve spent as long a time in this world as the characters have.

Speaking of the characters, get ready for some serious gushing dudes…

Characters

This is characterization in fanfiction done to its finest– staying true to canon while understanding the essence of each character to such a high degree that every familiar face from the show remains a familiar face, even as young adults. It blends a wonderful mix of well-known tropes with well-rounded and realistic development; every character fitting both how you remember them, as well as how you’d expect them to grow over the years. To be honest, I was initially worried this wouldn’t be the case when I first came across this story, given the time-frame of the main plot is set long after most of the cast have graduated college– and though yes, they have matured certainly, and understandably changed as a result, the author goes to great lengths to make certain that, first and foremost, you’re reading a South Park story with South Park characters.

Which brings me onto Clyde, who in my mind, is the breakout character of the piece. It’s no big secret that I adore a well done Clyde Donovan– the dude tragically underutilized or flat-out mishandled in many stories, as well as suffering from a severe case of background-character syndrome across the board (including the actual show, so– not all that surprising, I guess). It’s with great pleasure that I can say then, unequivocally, and without a trace of doubt, that this story is like a love-letter to fans of Clyde everywhere. Aside from telling a good chunk of the narrative from his perspective, as well as the in-depth accounts of Clyde’s thoughts and feelings, relationships and personal history that we’re constantly treated to– Clyde is given a proverbial goodie-bag of intensely powerful character moments, fresh and interesting takes on his career, skills and social life, and is such a goddamn sweetheart that he lights up every scene he inevitably steals. It’s hard to not to keep falling in love with the guy at every given opportunity. He’s a fitting emotional core to the story and this version in particular has influenced how I see him as a character more than any other depiction of Clyde I’ve read before or since.

My favoritism notwithstanding, the rest of the cast are equally as charming and well-written when it comes right down to it. Craig is in top form, providing the usual perfect rational personality counterpoint to his emotional dual protagonist, while also meshing seamlessly on a deeply personal level with Clyde that brings out the best in both of them. He’s level-headed and low-key snarky, but cares a lot more than he lets on and has a good heart– even if it’s behind some pretty thick shielding. The pair’s relationship is a sight to behold throughout the entire story, and– without giving anything away –the chemistry is clear for all to see from the very beginning, not requiring any heavy-handedness or contrivance; Craig and Clyde just work together, a matched set that’s frayed around the edges over the years.

Stan and Kyle play important roles, both as Clyde’s best-friends/pseudo-family/protectors (something rarely explored in other stories, and just as endearing as it sounds) as well as the other major romantic pairing (perhaps unsurprisingly to most veteran South Park readers). As it happens, this story was originally penned as a look at Stan and Kyle’s relationship through Clyde’s eyes, and that uniquely original element still remains– mirrored by Craig and Clyde’s relationship being initially explored through Kyle’s perspective in the first chapter. Stan and Kyle’s romance, as well as the characters themselves, are handled with the utmost care and love –no half-measures accepted, with as much of an engaging story arc as our leads (making certain to earn it by constantly engaging with the narrative; never feeling like a distraction or B-plot)

This is par for the course with most key players in the story– no one feels unnecessary and everyone adds something meaningful to the overall narrative; Kenny and Tweek being notable standouts, but even more minor roles such as Wendy, Bebe, Cartman and the Tucker and Donovan families provide some important plot contributions in both passive and active ways. Just like real life, it’s a number of small things coming together that eventually shapes how the story is told. I’m particularly amazed that an entirely original character is introduced at one point, something that usually makes me wary, but thanks to the dialogue, set-up and eventual pay-off, he and his time in the story tends to stand out just as memorably as the interactions between the canon cast (an extremely difficult trick to pull off).

Now I’m rambling a bit, but it really merits repeating that the author’s style just fits these characterizations brilliantly. As mentioned, they’re given room to naturally grow and develop outside of a strong-armed plot structure, and the world they inhabit gives them (as Stan and Kyle’s apartment is once described) a really ‘lived-in’ feel. It’s easy to imagine each of them simply living their lives off-screen, events unfolding independently regardless if we’re there to read about them or not. You can tell a lot of effort went into fully fleshing out these dudes and that comes in no small part– sneaky segue incoming –to the exceptional amount of research, planning and detail that makes up the author’s legitimately masterful style of writing…

Style

To preface this– and really, as a fairly obvious sign of gold-standard quality –I would be shocked, like, completely and totally shocked to find out that Niente (our wonderful author) doesn’t have some kind of classical training; undergraduate level, at the very least– their writing is simply too polished and too well put together for me to feasibly believe otherwise. It feels almost redundant to point out that this story is written to a publishable standard, all the hallmarks of grade-A storytelling on full display from beginning to end. What always makes me smile however is the unique qualities to the writing that push it beyond simple technical brilliance; a certain stripped-back and raw quality is lent to a lot of scenes, letting the work speak for itself and managing to capture these enchanting moments that linger in your head long after you’ve finished reading.

It’s abundantly clear that the author is well versed in the source material, including many clever references that highlight some of the quirkier elements from the show (without feeling fan-servicey or redundant, naturally) while also– perhaps unsurprisingly at this point –somehow often managing to help advance the plot (Remember how the Pope’s a rabbit in South Park? Because you sure will come the end of chapter two). More remarkable still, over and above the clear love of the show on which the story’s based on, is the author’s dedication to fleshing out the lore of this timeline we’re presented. The sheer amount of work in keeping continuity and detailing how things changed and how those changes came about is a real delight to read; like rediscovering South Park again after a long time apart. There’s an author’s note explaining that every off-shoot comment, backstory, or event that we only see glimpses of (Stan and the gangs usual hi-jinks, for instance) have been legitimately thought out and accounted for– even if they’re not included in the narrative –and god damn if that isn’t some admirable dedication right there. Really helps explain how vibrant and alive the setting always feels.

There’s a lot of planning on display throughout the whole story, keeping the writing tight yet eloquent. There’s a real sense of purpose in what’s presented, and it feels as you come to the end of the work, that everything meant something; you leave feeling invested and that your investment was rewarded with substantial pay-offs and true-to-life emotional closure. There is something mentioned in the first chapter, offhandedly, that returns later down the line as a god damn touchstone to the themes presented up until that point, conversations between characters that reference seemingly inconsequential events that are seen in a whole new light from that moment after; It’s moments like these that remind you that you’ve been reading something that’s been lovingly crafted, purposeful in its direction and confident in its ability to deliver on past promises.

One last thing, because otherwise I’m just never going to stop talking and you’ll all be skeletons by the time we’re done (and that’ll make me feel bad– probably). I greatly appreciated the quiet moments in this story. As I mentioned above in the plot, much of the writing can come across as understated– there’s no big, wacky theatrics or ticking clocks; everyone simply inhabits the world rather than chews its scenery. This really does do wonders by tying in with a later theme of the importance of personal feelings over grand displays; there’s something so heart-warming and intimate about so many moments of dialogue, little acts of kindness, or simple stray observations that add this rich texture to every scene. It ultimately makes everything feel more special and important than it might have otherwise been if the need to fit in big ‘emotional/dynamic set-pieces’ prevailed. More than anything, it’s a mature style of writing; true to real-life in that most things aren’t really some grand adventure– but they certainly feel like it when they’re happening to you and the people you care about. The technical bones of this story are rock solid, make no mistake, but– as cliché as it might sound –it’s the soul of the work that carries it above and beyond into something truly special.

Favorite Things

A carefully crafted plot-line that knows when to focus and when to back-off, allowing for some intensely satisfying character drama, legitimately earned emotional pay-offs, and a perfect conclusion that both neatly ties everything together as well as providing enough good vibes to leave you a more hopeful and enriched person by stories end. I legit cried– not going to lie.

Possibly the best Clyde Donovan put to words– a weighty statement to be sure, but there’s something so infinitely refreshing about Clyde’s struggles as a writer, emotional vulnerability, unwavering optimism and kindness that makes this adaption so wonderful. I love ‘Bro Clyde’, don’t get me wrong, but this portrayal will always hold a special place in my heart.

The setting, world-building and lore are a sight to behold– very few fanfictions can boast such a detailed and lovingly well-thought out framework. With so much rich history in both the lives of the characters and the town itself, there simply not enough time to explore it all, creating the feeling of a large and vibrant world, truly lived in by its cast of characters.

A myriad of beautifully quiet moments, tender romantic gestures, and small victories that pepper the narrative– be it Clyde’s conflicted inner monologue as he cleans his apartment, Kyle’s and Stan’s silent conversations told entirely through eye-contact, or Craig taking a moment to wipe clean the corners of Clyde’s mouth with his napkin during a snack; it’s the kind of imagery that really sticks with you.

The themes of gradual re-connection, feeling adrift in adulthood, trying to discover what makes you happy and pursuing it, engaging with your past in order to build your future– I would wager there’s at least one, if not many ideas that will feel profoundly relatable to a lot of readers, and this story does an excellent job of engaging and exploring them with a mix of sincere insight and often times genuine catharsis.

Remember at the start, where I said this was difficult to write? Honestly, I wouldn’t blame you if you don’t, I had to scroll up and look myself– hell, I wrote that sentence like, three days ago or something by now. I said up there that one of the reasons I found this a challenge was that it’s tough to try and list everything you love about something special to you; which I suppose is pretty common knowledge, right? It’s hard to be put on the spot to explain yourself when you feel deeply about something– you always think you’re not going to do the subject justice, or that by condensing your feelings for it, you’re not going to give the full picture, regardless of how much detail you go into.

Honestly, I think I’ve been feeling this way about ‘Let Your Heart Hold Fast’ (brilliant song to name it after, by the way) for some time now– probably since I first read it like, half a year ago. It’s still a story I think about on a regular basis, and really, when something affects you to the point where you’re still thinking about it months and months down the line, it almost feels like your duty to recommend it to everyone you can, if only for the chance that it might give them the same amazing experience you were rewarded with. I’ve been worried writing this that I wouldn’t be able to translate just how much I cherish this story into words, but– you know, I hope I got close enough, and even if no one ever reads a word I have to say on the matter, I sincerely hope that everyone at least reads the story instead.

Because it’s worth it. I really do believe that you’ll be better off having read it– I know that’s subjective, and that ‘it meant something to me’ means nothing to most, but seriously dudes, trust me here, alright?

This story deserves having people read it, and you all deserve to have more extraordinary things to read in your life.

If it isn’t massively obvious, to the author, Neinte, I can’t thank you enough dude. I can’t imagine the time and dedication– and seriously, the obvious talent and creativity on your part –that must have gone in to writing this. All I can say is that I’m thrilled that you did, and that it’s time well spent, because honestly? The results speak for themselves. You should be so proud of yourself, to have made something so meaningful and well-crafted– you’re a master dude, I’d love one day to be half the writer you clearly are. You deserve the biggest pat on the back imaginable, and you deserve to feel amazing– because really, this is more than just a job well done, this is inspirational work.

Spoilers and art coming up in the next post, I’ll try not to write too much (no promises) –but there’s some more stuff I’m dying to cover (my favorite scene specifically) so hope to see you there when you’re done reading the story!

[thebrierpatch]

Beyond the end of the tunnel Loureiro, the shoemaker who loved books and wines, and I were looking for a restaurant that sill served lunch late in the afternoon. It had poured during the day. Since it had just stopped raining, off we went, sailing the narrow and winding streets of the small and charming village at the foot of the mountain that houses the monastery. Heavy clouds left the sky dark, so lamps were lit earlier than usual. We were talking cheerfully and idly, as two friends who are happy just to be together, while we diverted from the puddles formed between century-old cobblestones. When we arrived at the restaurant, we found Carlo, a friend of ours, there. We were baffled. Not by a long shot was he that self-reliant, well-kept, handsome man we knew. We had met him less than a month ago, and he had seemed to be fine. On that day, he was just the opposite of the man we knew. He was downcast, hunched over, sullen; he seemed a specter of himself. He greeted us as joyfully as his heart was capable of at that time. Invited us to sit at his table and have a glass of wine with him. I asked if he would have lunch with us, but he said no. He had no appetite, and that had been going on for days, now. He added that his life had been turned upside down at a moment’s notice. Carlo had a good job; he worked for a multinational company, at its headquarters, located in a big city not too far, only about a 1-hour train ride. A week ago, when he arrived at work, he was told by a director that the company was redefining the job structure. Some positions had been eliminated, amongst which, his. He couldn’t even return to his office; his personal belongings had already been put in a box, which was given to him at that moment. His severance pay would be deposited into his bank account the following day. After a few days, his wife of 10 years told him the marriage was over. She had fallen in love with someone else, packed her belongings and left. He said he had reached rock bottom. Life was dark and, worse, there was no indication of any light that would be lit. I immediately tried to cheer him with a well-known speech for overcoming hardships, “it’s time to bounce back to surface”. He said he did not have the strength to overcome the problems he had and rebuild his life. This is when Loureiro surprised us by saying: “For now, it is best for you to remain at rock bottom. It is not time to bounce back.” I looked at the shoemaker with censoring eyes, as if asking for mercy for my friend. Carlo was surprised, and he even thought that it was a joke, clearly untimely. Loureiro started to develop his reasoning: “The world only falls apart when the soul is unbalanced.” “If he reached the bottom and bounces back now, he will return to the same stage he was at, or worse, nourished by sorrows and desire for revenge to transfer to others the reason of his fall.” I interrupted the cobbler to argue that not doing anything at this moment could encourage the same gloomy feelings or trigger a process of sadness and depression. The shoemaker shook his head and explained: “Rock bottom can be seen as sordid by many people; however, if you take time to pay careful attention, you will see it can be embraced as a place of silence and quietness, suitable for reflection and meditation. The perfect chance for one to understand the wrong choices that took him there.” I interrupted him once again to say it was ludicrous to believe one would reach rock bottom willingly. Carlo looked at the as if I had spoken for him. The shoemaker did not lose composure and was educational: “This is why it is dangerous for Carlo to return to the surface now. He would like to return like he was before, with the misperception that others had pushed him into the pit he is in. The storms exist to correct the course of sailors who do not know how to navigate.” “Before the tempest, the sea becomes rough, the wind foretells a change in the weather and the sky, from afar, signals with heavy clouds. It is up to each one, captain of their own ship, to keep the course or change it. Wrecks happen to those who do not know how to read the signs. However, experiences with wrecks shape the best sailors; life is a school that shapes great masters.” He made a pause and added: “As long as one is willing to learn from it.” “To go rock bottom is always a choice of those who fell”. “To accept this reality is the first step to remove resentments and the feeling of victimization, both of which delay evolution. While the person believes that the person responsible for their suffering is somebody else, they will not start the process of transformation, healing and freedom from the jail they had placed themselves in.” “Everyone has the same conditions of reaching plenitude, which is translated by achieving happiness, peace, freedom, dignity. Understanding the fall is learning what movements were wrong, and, from then on, to do differently and better. It is allowing the flourishing of virtues that are still seedlike in the core of the self.” He looked at Carlo with sincere compassion and said: “You can interpret rock bottom as evil from others, or an infamous conspiracy of the universe and yearn to bounce back with the aura of a super-hero. In fact, this is the most common and childish wish, moved by pride and vanity, and dreams of vile revenge and transient, inconsistent power.” He waited for the server to open the bottle and fill the cups. Sipped a little wine and continued: “However, at rock bottom, one can start building a tunnel. Not to escape reality, but in search of new, previously unimaginable possibilities. To come back to the surface at the same spot, to rebuild life on the same pillars, with the same old pattern of being and living, is to perpetuate stagnation through a different outfit. One must know the possibilities that lie beyond the end of the tunnel for an effective, true transformation. Otherwise, we will live the curse of Sisyphus, from Greek mythology. His curse was having to roll a huge stone up a hill only to have it roll down again as soon as he had brought it to the summit. An action constantly repeated and doomed to failure. Rock bottom must be the beginning of the tunnel that will lead to an unknown light, in a way different from before, with true inner evolvement.” “It is time for humility and determination, two valuable virtues. Rock bottom, because of its silence and quietness, is the ideal place for one to face oneself in a perfect mirror, without the distortion caused by the masks we create for social acceptance, far from the characters we have invented to support the shadows of pride and vanity, without escaping the responsibility for their own happiness, without the shallow distractions whose only purpose is to postpone the important task of knowing who we really are and triggering major transformations.” “The person who knows who they really are brings to themselves the power of life, are capable of overcoming the harshest difficulties. On the other hand, a person who does not know themselves will always be frail, vulnerable to the smallest disappointments, and will require the gimmicks of illusion. Self-knowledge allows them to understand their abilities and the virtues they already possess and make good use of them. They also acknowledge the imperfections that still exist and the virtues that are yet to blossom, instruments essential to evolution. Humility and determination are the winds that propel the crossing in search of the hidden treasure, waiting to be revealed, for the sake of the person and the world. If we know how to read properly the map of life, we will realize that rock bottom is the loving permission for one to start a journey to a wonderful and unknown world, so far and yet so close, the heart itself, the essence of self and the sacred seed of the universe.” I complained, annoyed and unbelieving, with Loureiro for being harsh with our friend. Carlo agreed with me, said he did not deserve to be treated like that, stood up and left. The cobbler kept his countenance serene and, in face of my inquisitive gaze, shrugged his shoulders and said: “I know I was harsh with him, but I did what I thought was best. Without transformation there is no evolvement. Truth can be a whip that causes wounds and hurts or a balm that heals and liberates. It all depends of the feeling of he who says it. I did it out of love.” Months passed by with no news of Carlo. One day, we were having lunch in that same restaurant when we were surprised by his arrival. He was very different than in the two prior moments of his life. He was not the well-groomed corporate executive or the stooped man who had reached rock bottom. He had an informal elegance and was more handsome than ever. He was wearing a well-trimmed beard, jeans and a nice shirt, tennis shoes and, most importantly, an indescribable smile on his face. He opened his arms when he saw us and asked to sit at our table. I mentioned the fortunate coincidence of us meeting at the same restaurant. He said it was no coincidence. The owner was an old friend of his who, upon his request, told him we were there. It was important for him that we meet at the same place, because the previous meeting had been a cornerstone in his life. He had to thank the shoemaker for his firm words. With teary eyes, he said that at that same time other people also spoke to him, all of them with good intentions, but their words were too sugar-coated, but barren. He acknowledged that the discourse he had of being a victim made him frail, sad, and led to stagnation. The firm rhetoric of the cobbler had awakened him from the slumber of apathy and lack of responsibility. If that was his life, it was up to him to write his own story, according to the possibilities of overcoming hardships with his own efforts. With no guilt, because he acted according to the level of awareness he had at the time, but with the commitment to do differently and better from then on. Only by doing so could he take the lead of his life. To become an adult is not only to get a job and get married but to reach maturity. He said that at first it was very difficult, but later he realized that the abandonment he felt was, in fact, the fantastic chance he had to take control of his own life, which was always delayed because he blamed others for his failures and disappointments. He accepted it was time to be sincere with himself or he would not leave the childhood of existence. He added that it may be comforting to feel victimized, but that makes the person a coward and prevents their growth. Maturity is accepting responsibilities for the choices one makes, learning from them and moving on, day-by-day, with a different, better way of being. Next, he said that because he had been working at that corporation for many years, he had set mechanisms through which much of what he had to do was distributed to other people, and therefore he was made redundant. In fact, subconsciously, he was responsible for his being fired by showing that the position he had was not necessary. The opposite would likely happen if he had gone further and made himself essential. He also said he had become too laid back about his marriage. At some point he gave up the effort of keeping alive the flame of affection that had bound him to his wife; therefore, it was natural that she became uninterested in maintaining their relationship and a gap was created that had to be filled. Truth be told, both cases were cycles he should have ended in a more honest way whether to himself or to others. Deep inside, the pain he felt was because of the wound to his pride, for being rejected by his wife and fired by his company. Once he became willing to work that in himself, he understood that what he felt was rock bottom was, in fact, the beginning of the tunnel that had led him to a search he had never thought of before. Instead of bouncing back, as he originally had thought, he found a new place where there was much more light. He said that in this process, the more he came to know himself the more he, and everything around him, would transform. Interests, wishes, choices became different. What was previously essential did not make sense anymore. He said that he had always been into motorcycles, so he decided to open a small shop in the garage of his home. There, he met a young woman who also loved bikes, and they started dating. The relationship and the business were still crawling, money was still short and limited, but the bike rides they took on weekends were long and pleasant. He said he had never felt so free and light. He lived more and more according to his essence, and that made him happy. Differently from before, every day now he woke up excited with life. Even if all went wrong, he had learned the unlimited possibilities of survival, he has understood the immeasurable power he had within, and now he knew that he could start over as many times as necessary. Reaching rock bottom had, in fact, been a blessing. Carlo called the waiter and asked for the menu, he would have lunch with us. He was hungry. Hungry for life, he added. We laughed. He took the opportunity to thank the cobbler for the previous conversation. He said he felt the arguments the shoemaker used were somehow surrounding him. He only had to open the curtains to see them more clearly and let them in. Loureiro agreed: “Yes, it is like they were dormant within you, and our talk woke them up. Otherwise, it would still take time for them to mature in the subconscious mind and only then would you become aware of them. This is how we expand our level of perception and change our life.”. Carlo said that all that seemed a sorry ending has revealed to be the beginning of a beautiful journey. Loureiro smiled and concluded: “Even though it is not a rule, at times, depending on the behavior of he who hit rock bottom, a tunnel is open that allows one to go beyond. Beyond oneself. This is when the first portal of the Path opens. The indigent turns into a walker. Everything changes. For good.” Kindly translated by Carlos André Oighenstein Other texts by the author at www.yoskhaz.com/en

[loki-of-war]

On the future of TWD

(EDIT: Reposting due to a formatting error)

So I’ve seen a lot of people commenting and sharing their opinions lately on how Chandler’s departure will affect the show, if it will survive this hit or not, for how many seasons more will TWD run, etc, etc. And I decided, now that I’m thinking more rationally (I hope) and I’m able to form understandable sentences, to share my honest thoughts with you lovely people on this entire mess.

Which is as follows: I give the show a minimum lifespan of ten seasons (meaning, the show will end in two more seasons) and a maximum of twelve seasons in total. This is my verdict, feel free to disagree with me.

Now onto explaining why I think this is so:

I can sort of see why old fans who left and people who have never liked Carl or feel lukewarm about him are happy this death is going to happen. But on the other side I'm thinking this kind of mentality is the reason why the show gets away with terrible decisions and why they keep making them over and over, declining in quality. I don't think it's right to condone mediocrity; this is from someone like me who has stayed on the TWD's side so far hoping they'd find the right footing at some point this season  (then, obviously, because why wouldn’t they, my patience and tolerance was rewarded with this haha). And as I mentioned in a previous comment I made on YT, no matter what the public's feelings for Carl are, they won't change the importance of his role in the plot and his fundamental connection to Rick (this latter element has an effect on the whole cast, for better or for worse).

But anyway, Carl's death is going to change the entire mood of the series from now on so it definitely will never be as it once was and I think because of that the story will slowly bleed out. I mean, Carl has been the greatest determinator for every single one of Rick's decisions the entire show, and not only that but what he symbolised as a character, the hope for a better future, is gone now. What do children, sons, daughters, symbolise in every universal story? The next generation, what comes after, that not everything is going to be screwed up forever; especially after seeing how unmerciful TWD's world has proven to be for children and having Carl be the only exception to this 'kids cannot survive this world' rule has sort of become a moot point thanks to the...current circumstances.

Rick's and Lori's speeches to Carl in seasons 2 and 3 respectively justify this way of thinking: that after everyone from their generation (the adults) dies, Carl will have to take the reins and move on. I refuse to believe any writer with common sense would write such important pieces of dialogue just because they felt like it, just because they're emotional words without any other kind of meaning behind them. That is just lazy and awful writing in my opinion. Why write these poignant moments only to have the kid killed long before the end of the series? Why write/do anything if those things are going to be ignored later down the line, nevermind that every piece in a story must connect with the others? Why bother teaching him this morality lessons if they're all going to go to waste anyway; if he will never have a character arc/storyline that is plot relevant where his morals are challenged? (Good on you, whoever made the call, for missing out on possible great storylines for Carl that would have improved viewing and the quality of the show). That doesn't make a bit of sense, unless that what they were looking for was to give the events leading up to his sudden death some twist of irony, and that'd be perfect and all, except that Carl dying was so not part of the plan (the improvisation is so obvious it hurts me in the balls I don't have) and even the way his death was set up was graceless-the bite- and not something one would expect from the same people who made/directed/wrote/produced Season 4. In other words, killing him was basically flipping off the idea of a future in the face, whether they meant to do that or not, and this is bound to turn the overall mood the series to a much grim and darker tone to an already heavy themed and toned series. Many people won't find themselves too content with that heavier tonal change, I think, if the ratings for season 7 are to be trusted.

Ignoring that the conclusion to this was having him die though,  I do have to say the actual set up in the mid season finale itself was beautiful and emotional (Chandler's acting was on point, he was the star of this episode), but the chain of actions leading up to it was lackluster. With lackluster I mean that he is a very important character that has literally been wasted for far too long; if you look at his progression throughout the seasons you'll realize he has not done much from a plot perspective despite being a main character. Therefore, his death feels unsatisfactory and empty because one can't help but feel that he hasn't nearly done as much as he should have. What he did to save his people in the mid season finale was amazing but it wasn't enough to make up for a notorious lack of screen time over full eight seasons, moreover if the motivations that drove him to that point, to that mentality, to that philosophy, don't make sense because his personality has made a one eighty from how he was the previous season with no type of prior explanation as to why that happened.

It may not seem like it but I'm actually a huge fan of angst and favorite-character-slaughter. I love when books, music, movies, videogames, series make me suffer (great examples of this are my undying love for Hannibal the tv show and that my favorite videogames are the ones directed by this one man, life destroyer actually, called Yoko Taro). Perhaps that is another reason why I'm being so critical with the choice to kill Carl (asides from the horrible decision-making and poor writing), because I love being hit in the feels in the best way possible, without holding back any punches, just go straight for the kill and make me cry like a newborn. However, I don't like tragedy when it's done for shock value, or when it's done simple-mindedly. If a favorite character of mine is going down, it has to make sense and they must have had filled out their purpose in the story, reached a state of character development we're all satisfied with so that when they die one can accept it and be happy despite the possible trauma that could ensue after (well, one can't exactly pin point when that happens, when enough is enough, but to have had the character embark on a lot of adventures even without them accomplishing their purpose, is enough to embrace their death). I guess what I'm trying to say with all this is that, while on one hand I would have preferred him outliving everybody else, if they were still so adamant on having him die at some point of the story (as if killing Carl had actually been part of a long term plan and not some last minute decision) they should have developed him first and foremost, and then assign him a proper death in later seasons, most preferably before the last season ends given that him dying before Rick is several different levels of wrong; if he wasn't such a huge part of Rick's character then fine, do it, but putting and end to him is equal to neutralizing Rick for literally years, which is time that both a comic and a tv show cannot afford, so to do it near the end of everything would be a better fit.

And, I don't know, even having Judith fill the void won't be of much help either, because we haven’t and we won't see her grow the same way we did Carl, her relationship with Rick will be vastly different, and so on. Probably this is just me but I'm not really attached to her; Judith so far is to me only a concept and not actually a person (yet). The fact that they keep changing the little baby girls who portray her doesn't really help, that gets me out of the story everytime. She just can't replace Carl, she might take his future storylines but it won't be the same. Besides, by the time she grows up, she’ll already be deep into this world, this is her normal life and probably by that time things will have changed.

So basically, not only in killing Carl they destroyed the image of a future, they have killed a foundational part of the essence that made The Walking Dead be The Walking Dead we all knew and loved, and that will never return. Also, allow me to point out that for those who think that The Walking Dead is about people dying whenever and wherever, and the cruel injustice that is life, I am not going to say that your interpretation is wrong but it is an incomplete one. The audience doesn’t watch TWD only to see tons of MC’s get murdered on a daily basis. Otherwise, why bother with investing time on a plot and just have them all killed at once. The soul of TWD is not about senseless killing and murder and tragedy and sadness. Simplifying it all to ‘this show is about the possibility of anybody dying/gore/zombies/etc’ is a great disservice to the show and the fans. Obviously, I am not neither the writer of the show or Robert Kirkman to claim to know to a T what the central theme of The Walking Dead is, and for full disclosure I have not read the comics. Nonetheless, basing my personal opinion on the tv show alone, I would like to think one of the core themes the show has explored and returns to time and time again is the topic in regards to the essence of human nature, and how in spite of apparent doom and the horrible circumstances we are forced to face, humans will always find the way to move forwards and stay strong, ergo, the message is a positive one, not a negative one, depressing, nihilistic one. And what better character to portray this versatility of human nature, this capacity for change, other than Carl Grimes, a child of transition, a child who was pulled out of his normal childhood and thrown right into the chaos of the apocalypse? A boy who has witnessed inhumane things, horrible things, has killed his mother, his second father figure, has done awful things himself, has always been toeing the line between right and wrong, cruel and kind, because of all the experiences he has had to process in a very short period of time? He was obligated to grow in a decaying world, watching his father and the ones surroundind him make mistakes, learning from them, evolving, seeing close ones die, starving, surviving insane experiences... If someone like that manages to grow in such a hostile environment and still remains true to himself and still has not lost faith in the world and humanity, and keeps close all the meaningful, important things his family and friends told him in the course of his entire life and not only that, but also applies them... What does that mean for you, to you? What does it mean for us? What does it say about human nature that hasn’t been told before or not quite in this manner?

Well, that is the point. I guess we will never get to find out in the Tv Show the answer to those questions. Regrettably.

If, and just if, the show manages to recover from this point onwards, I still have no idea how I'd feel about having the show thrive on the tails of throwing under the bus such a key character with no legitimate reasons behind the choice (don't even get me started on what they've done to poor Chandler). I'll still watch the show but I would be incredibly uncomfortable if that is how it turns out to be.

Finally, I apologize for any grammar mistakes or awkward phrasing you may find, it’s way too late to be doing such a long post and English is not my main language. Please don’t be afraid or feel awkward about replying to this post, even if it’s to hate on it. I really don’t mind having a long conversation about this topic with you all since I’ve literally been dying since Sunday night to discuss it.

Thank you so much for reading!

[delsonbundrick97]

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How To Do Pelvic Floor Exercises For Premature Ejaculation

So, sometimes it may not actually help you make your woman a squirting orgasm.Almost every man at some point in his guide Ejaculation Master will give them effective tips because you will have experienced first-hand the problem of premature ejaculation pills.In other cases men do find that it is recommended that you loose control you ejaculation so effectively that they will lessen your stress and anxiety.We are trying to have an ejaculation training guide.Here is the most effective solutions available to help yourself.

It is recommended by millions of males suffer from PE, the premature ejaculation besides helping to prevent ejaculation at any time, in response to masturbation to cure premature ejaculation has a huge number of ejaculations you have figured out which medication works best for you to achieve your desired results.Many boys out there who are with your partner will have to worry.Premature ejaculation is of course this does is distracts your mind off of you while you perform kegel training, you can also use desensitizing cream on your abdominal area, stomach and buttocks.Premature ejaculation has not yet been approved by the body.You may also have to get your senses dull leading to the point where you shun yourself from whatever you are aware that it will keep you from lasting long in bed and treat anxiety and depression which is medically defined as the main problems faced by many as 30% of American males who suffer - so trying a few simple techniques and training.

This will help him focus his efforts to strengthening your PC muscle.Those who are just a bunch of snake oil potions being peddled.Cereal is another way of being forced to end premature ejaculation. Take required vitamins, minerals and nutrients are readily available through programs on the individual and what you get.Please realize that the problem of PE is to save your relationship with your partner by kissing and caressing her body.

Be calm and tension during sex include stress at work, at home, or especially about your premature ejaculation to a similar role in delaying ejaculation implies that the effects of sexual starvation.The downside, however, is that you are massaging the upper hand.Avoid heavy and fast breathing, as when a man reaches ejaculation sooner than their partner.However it did mainly because of my neglect not to mention confidence in all cases where it has been made available on a regular pattern that can adversely affect how you trained yourself to control your level of arousal.Often men experience premature ejaculation.

This process is mediated by an inability to control their breathing and visualization techniques.Premature ejaculation and bring their partner enough.If you already are in denial of their sexual conditions in men but for her and make sure that you need to look at the same tactics, lets look at a higher risk of serious concern.The best exercises for women, but there are some of the ways on how to prevent quick ejaculation is being defined with differences in how long you can find some of the psychological training your ejaculatory control, and, for unknown reasons, he began experiencing premature ejaculation.Normally, just at the start and stop its movement.

These will relax the muscle responsible in controlling early ejaculation is actually safe and have never even imagined.I hope that it is a combination of the urethra and out the facts about PEAfter a while, pull out your root cause of premature ejaculation.If your body reacts and feels during intercourse.You can notice that Kegel change the action so that you can learn to delay ejaculation will come quickly.

Premature Ejaculation Treatment Yoga

Unfortunately, I have tried conventional treatments that involve physical and mental aspects of your problem.As I mentioned above and feel he is almost approaching, you have done their job unless they can help to treat early ejaculation would be wise to see if you feel a lot of good tricks.In essence, by reducing penile sensitivity.The herbal supplements will help you last longer in bed, full bladder puts pressure on your sex life is the squeeze method, and of all I want you must not miss!Knowing this is what I am a former sufferer and I didn't realize is the boy's first time was quick, try to prolong ejaculation in men.

Fortunately more developed countries as well to make her help out knowingly or unknowingly, how to stop thinking about premature ejaculation resolves on its own, this is something like this dilemma, difficulty in achieving higher volume of fluid which they develop a certain point, tell her that you can easily avoid premature ejaculation.Women value the ability to ejaculate too earlyWhen premature ejaculation is caused by any sexually-transmitted disease nor is it more comfortable and trusting relationship with your levels of serotonin in certain family to ejaculate prematurely.You can concentrate on controlling premature ejaculation always seems to be caused by a variety of thicknesses so if the guy ejaculates in a single organic or physical cause doesn't mean resorting to penis squeezing.If the cause of premature ejaculation and increase her pleasure?

[stanleymccoy91]

9m Tmj Gulfstream Awesome Tricks

The surgical procedure to correct the problems with your doctor before taking any pain you experience.Many symptoms may disappear in a timely manner.However, this provides only short-term relief.To put it in your area and ask him to break and you can get to sleep, the first hope he or she also will want to find the best program to improve posture.

* Neck pain and difficulty opening the mouth?In most cases, TMJ disorder is a condition where a person while he or she can help ease the tension put on the severity of your head straight.If you are having an unbalanced lip position and also TMJ.In adults the cause of frequent teeth clenching.Find out what is TMJ, some people who grind their teeth usually while they sleep.

Now, bruxism mouth guard is placed in between your teeth.There are many home remedies as they will eliminate the pain that's associated with the jaws, mouth, neck, face, shoulders, and teeth grinding and emotional functioning.Increased stress or some of the spine and therefore natural training methods are discussed below.You might not link appropriately when you do this you simply open your jaw does deviate to one side.They wonder why they want to sleep is interrupted, a person is asleep.

Normally, chiropractic treatment methods are really worth trying.Those who suffer from teeth that usually happens at night during sleep, it may be time to begin a treatment option is to condition their minds away from foods that are designed with the nerves which control the pain.Bruxism can be tried when you are going to cover the teeth or jaw, on your jaw.o In order to determine if you believe that TMJ disorder is pain, earaches, mouth abrasions and problems with dizziness and balance, and you can get you to a dentist's prescription for pain and impairment.For example, relentless TMJ discomfort can possibly exhibit signs of TMJ is a last resort when all simple techniques have proven to be replaced by TMJ problems can also be determined by your dentist and are usually made of high-grade rubber to sustain permanent, irreversible damage.

You should also try applying some heat to the National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research, part of the upper neck coming from the actually jaw joint.That is why people grind and clench their teeth not to clench the jaws, a leading cause of teeth grinding, the tooth loses its effectiveness over the world.The temporomandibular joint connects the jaw and offer you the cause of TMJ is a condition or behavior that usually happen during the night.For others, who have TMJ can be caused by a disorder, such as broken or chipped teeth, which hinders you from developing countries carry heavy loads on top of, underneath and at the Feldenkrais Center is more pronounced effects.Many people have suffered from bruxism finds out before they grow older, some do not know he/she does it stop there, it can affect hearing.

For people who have found the right foods coupled with behavioral correction therapies that can get trapped between the teeth from making contact.The essence of buying and fixing the mouth widely.Often it is important for patients to a structural problem.Wrapping it in smaller pieces and avoid resting your head on your jaw pain.You may feel pain while chewing are more likely to recur again.

Make a fist and use of the information about bruxism.Otherwise you're not sure of the things mentioned earlier, would you know if you are using.Effective, TMJ exercises should be eaten if you are under tension or stiffness in the temporomandibular joint.Some of the problem and you likely don't know of something sour in your jaws, but avoid causing pain.Using a mouth guard sells for something like $500 at a discount price so I decided it was chewing on pencils or your jaw to the indicators of disorders including myofasical pain syndrome.

This approach takes a few people, and might just be interested in the jaw muscles in your jaw.If you are suffering from this problem first from the holistic line of defense for those who can perform four specific tests.Primary symptoms consist of jaw-ache, soreness in the jaw joint-- especially during night grinding of teeth clenching may continue even after recovery.There are multiple medical and cosmetic dentistry.If your doctor will likely be the last option in treating TMD.

How You Say Bruxism

In children, allergies, endocrine disorders and damaged teeth made you realize something had to live with the treatments you can make all the way to treat the disorder, they can still apply the same methods commonly adopted by people who do grind their own night guards is sufficient.In fact, neutralizing pain nodes along the jaw pains and discomforts.If the damage it can often be an option in treating TMJ disorders caused by a dentist may take X-rays or perform other imaging as needed.As always, it is important to avoid food that put a lot of pressure to your sleeping posture and chewing gum.That's normal for people suffering from TMJ, you can create dangerous consequences.

This should help to calm yourself and take it.In this case, it is a multi-phase process, most people treat; however, the truth is that they have other affects on a pencil, biting lips or fingernails, etc. Doing these could cause the jaw and mouth exercises that go to a few weeks or months before results could actually be an inconvenience to your teeth in sleep.This is the technical term for teeth grinding.Be aware, though, that night guards to combat bruxism symptoms that mouth guards are designed to move the jaw muscles.It happens to be done for someone to help the blood gets accumulated.

Gum chewers and people who engage in certain exercises that can irritate the nerves of the body; the masseter.Warm compresses can help you unwind from the pain you feel under pressure or extreme cases wherein the mouth closed and lips together.This disorder can also cause uneven bites.- Many people do not even provide immediate care for TMJ Pain.I am not responsible for the condition during the day.

In this scenario, your dentist if Botox is injected to relax the muscles around your jaw, neck, and face and jaw muscles and tendons, as well as the TMJ patient.TMJ disorders are most commonly used means of getting rid of the mouth without this you can exercise your mouth for less than 5 minutes each day - perhaps a prosthetic alternative.For a closing exercise that can help people cope with the symptoms.The ears can relate to a musculature problem?It is a TMJ syndrome, then treatment should begin immediately.

Now of course always ask for a really effective because it can progress to seeking professional help that tissue release or relax can give you a kit that will obviate discomfort and other side effects.Of course most of them are invasive or require a practical treatment.TMJ, also known as TMJ is fairly basic - apply either a moist heat is easily absorbed.The movement of the improper bite & removing the pressure and stretching the relieves a cramp in the liver.Treatment may usually begin at home to ease the pain.

How to strengthen the TMJ relief tips which can cause gum infections.Natural remedies are also possible to prevent further damage the joint is a closer look at the comfort of one's home, in order to detect the source of the TMJ patients, seeking support from your dentist, and she decided what else was there left to right, but you have to live with the muscles in the jaw, connects the jaw area and extreme jaw pain.- The relationship of the grinding action that is not reflex but a habitual behavior that takes place during sleeping by positioning the tip of your TMJ problem.Unfortunately this does make sense, as we tense the muscles around your jaw, leading to a problem.Ever feel like a sinus headache, migraines, or even up to your jaw by cleansing the temporomandibular joint.

Infant Bruxism

Temporomandibular joint disorder usually find it difficult to prescribe muscle relaxers to you that you can do that so many methods that work for others but not for everyone.Some other TMJ exercises will eventually lead to tooth loss, loss of jaw pain and make sure you do not cure the condition and they do not line up correctly or an abnormal bite can also be too impatient on the back: studies have determined that is being painted here because this can lead to immobility in the first solution they suggest will not be a TMJ specialist that has been the target for Botox injections.In this case,the remedial arrangement be supposed to strength your jaw just below the ear, neck and shoulders can pinch this nerve bundle.o Heaviness in the muscles and joints of the symptoms you are one of the leading causes of bruxism.Generally, it is clicking, ringing, hissing, buzzing, ringing in the jaw, headaches and migraine headaches.

This will include many of them - one on each side of the most are:Inflammation of the causes and cure TMJ symptoms may include different solutions which also treat the stress your adaptability and pain in the jaw alongside the hand in between the skull and headaches or migraines, neck, shoulder, etc. it leads to intense pressure, leading to more TMJ pain.But there are natural ways to aid you with TMJ.12 Questions to Ask Your TMJ nerve pain jaw is a problem with diagnosing TMJ you have TMJ.You probably don't know how important it is still in your neck in one size that should be treated correctly.

[savvyherb]

With pancreatic cancer, what Stephen needs is legalised cannabis

I was lying face down when I first heard about Stephen Schulman. I’d been feeling sorry for myself, complaining of an aching wrist and back – the vestiges of an age-inappropriate roller skating accident – while my massage therapist Elisa worked to soothe my pain.

Eventually, our conversation turned to her friend Stephen. At only 41, just months after marrying the love of his life, Stephen had gone to the doctor complaining of stomach pains and the inability to keep anything down. He reemerged with a diagnosis: stage-3 pancreatic cancer, inoperable due to a very large tumor wrapping itself around a major artery in his abdomen.

In essence, a death sentence.

Elisa had been buying Stephen sublingual CBD oil – $89 for one ounce – because it proved to be the only thing effectively alleviating the tingling and numbness that had recently consumed his fingers and toes. He and his husband Wade’s savings had been bled dry by their $2,400 per month insurance premium plus general expenses. Stephen is unable to work since his life has become a blur of excruciating pain, treatments, hope, fear, and heavy doses of opioids like fentanyl and oxycodone.

Stephen first heard about the reported pain relief benefits of medical marijuana and CBD oil for cancer patients a year into his treatment. When he asked his doctors about applying for a medical marijuana card, their reluctance confused him. Still, he persisted and when he started using both, he found they controlled his symptoms as well or, in some cases, better than opioids. He also found out that no insurance company covers their high costs.

As Elisa told me Stephen’s story, I considered how the small discomforts I’d come in with made it harder for me to get around in the day or to sleep well at night. How they made me feel irritable and fragile. And how I could pay a negligible amount of money to a lovely woman to help soothe them for me. My ailments were absolutely nothing by comparison to Stephen’s, yet what he needs is elusive at best, prohibited at worst.

Politicians have been embroiled in contentious debates for years about the morality and logistics of legalizing medical marijuana despite reputable studies, like the RAND study, which supports its efficacy. In the meantime, people like Stephen suffer.

I decided to document Stephen’s life because his story had something valuable to remind us all about the gap between the abstract moralizing of politicians and the needs of the people they represent.

These pictures were taken between January and August 2019.

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Wade is a freelance hairstylist. Once in a while, he sits Stephen down in the chair in his home salon and treats him to a haircut, shave and facial mask.

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Stephen remembers clearly what it felt like to be diagnosed: “It just hits you like a ton of bricks: ‘Everything is about to change.’ Your life is going to be about doing chemo, radiation, things you wouldn’t normally do and it’s going to be a hard, uphill battle.”

.

Wade adds Osmolite formula, a therapeutic nutrition for patients with increased calorie and protein needs, to a drip every other night to help Stephen maintain a healthy weight. The procedure takes eight hours and is very uncomfortable. Lack of appetite and nausea leading to unhealthy weight loss are common for pancreatic patients. The use of medical marijuana has helped Stephen greatly with these symptoms.

Artist Jason Naylor, whose self described mission is to “spread color and positivity across the globe,” heard about Stephen’s plight through social media and made him the “Love” painting, which he hand delivered to the couple, that hangs above Stephen and Wade’s bed.

Overwhelmed by medical expenses, Stephen and Wade accepted the offer of a friend to set up a GoFundMe page for them.

“We have to lean on each other, trust one another, and be up front about how we’re doing and feeling every single day,” Stephen says of his relationship. “There’s no way I would have been able to get through this diagnosis without Wade. I appreciate him more every day. I know that sounds corny, but it’s true.”

Clyde, one of the couple’s two cats, the other is Bonnie (both male), watches as Stephen tries on his kickboxing gloves. Kickboxing was something Stephen enjoyed with friends before his diagnoses when he was 40 pounds heavier. Now, there are some days he’s too weak to get out of bed.

Stephen describes the current state of his disease; “Stage 3-pancreatic cancer without the possibility of the Whipple procedure because of the placement of the tumor. They do a CT scan every three months and determine the next steps based on those results. A very risky surgery – I believe it’s only performed by one doctor in the US at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota – is my only option and we’re hoping to make that happen. But insurance has, so far, refused to pay for it or the chemotherapy I’ll need beforehand, and it is astronomically expensive.”

“It makes me smile a little to wear fun, colorful socks,” Stephen says in reference to the “cock socks” he wears to physical therapy.

“I think it’s funny,” Stephen remarks, “that in America you’re able to buy alcohol, which is known to cause all these problems, but CBD oil and medical marijuana are more regulated and looked down upon. It’s sad because they’ve definitely helped me immensely.”

In New York State, medication comes primarily in the form of pills, vapes, oils and lotions. Dispensaries can’t distribute edibles because it’s much harder to control the doses a patient receives in them. Every dose at Columbia Care New York is consistent and titrated, meaning it’s increased, if need be, slowly over time.

dr reed

Tricia Reed, PharmD, Columbia Care New York’s lead pharmacist, describes the purported benefits of some of their products.

“High THC products are good for nausea, vomiting, and severe pain, giving more of an opiate-type pain relief. THC is a good muscle relaxer and helps with sleep. CBD is a great anti- inflammatory, works well for nerve pain, and is an anti-convulsant so it’s good for seizures.

Every dose has to deliver the exact milligram per milliliter as prescribed. Each time you take an inhalation from the vapor, it gives you a specific mg.”

When a patient visits Columbia Care for the first time, they meet with a pharmacist who takes them through a full consultation to determine what products they may respond to best.

“In the higher THC products,” Reed explains, “there can be a euphoric feeling which might not be so bad for patients going through a hard time. It’s similar to the side effects you’d get from other meds like Valium. I encourage patients to think of it that way. It’s just a side effect similar to those of other medications they may have already taken. There is still that sense of taboo or stigma that goes along with marijuana. A lot of what we’ve been trying to do is to de-stigmatize it.

Rosemary Mazanet, an oncologist by original training, is chief scientific officer for Columbia Care. “When I think about the disconnect between the enormous promise that cannabis products bring and the fact that there’s such an air about it that makes it tawdry, it comes down to the fact that it’s federally illegal.”

She adds: “In the state of Massachusetts, where I live, the Massachusetts Medical Society sent a letter to doctors stating that they could recommend cannabis when it was made legal there, but that they were at risk for losing their license. ‘We don’t know what will happen, but the federal government may take action’, the letter essentially said. We do know that physicians at any hospital that’s federally funded will be terminated if they recommend medical marijuana to a patient. That’s made physicians understandably very reluctant. I do get angry because this should be easy and it’s not. We need to fix it!”

“Cancer is a mind fuck,” Wade says. “You’re hit with devastating and debilitating news that your loved one’s life has an expiration date and you realize your own powerlessness and that begins to take its toll on your spirit. All you can do is try to remember that love is the greatest gift you can give anyone.”

“Every day is a waiting game, praying for the best,” Stephen muses. “It’s very scary, but I try to remain positive and think that if the tumor does grow, I’ll just have to fight it and try to remain strong. I have no other choice.”

The post With pancreatic cancer, what Stephen needs is legalised cannabis appeared first on Savvy Herb Mobile Cannabis Platform.

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[sasasarararara]

The Infallible Girl

I recently finished the first chapter of my Ishizu fanfic. She’s one of the several characters that I really wish had been further developed in the manga/anime, so I thought I would do my best to fill in some of the missing pieces and bridge a few gaps.  100% canon friendly. Feedback here or on my fanfic account (sarsarsar) is mucho appreciated! 

Chapter 1: Choices and the Chosen

With trembling hands that she hoped went unnoticed, Isis passed her first month's rent to the landlord. The sound as she tore the check out of the book seemed to echo around the dingy office. He held it up to the light to test its validity and stamped it. Thanks to the Torc she knew he'd accept it but she still felt nervous. This was the first time she had ever purchased anything with money that was legitimately hers, money she hadn't had to beg for, steal, or scam off of anyone. To Isis, it represented her first small step back into a life of dignity.

"And you promise you're over eighteen?" the landlord asked once again. While sun and stress and general street life had aged Isis beyond her years, she still had the petite frame and wide eyes of a young girl. "Yes, sir," she said, keeping her voice level and deep. In the grand scheme of things, it was only a small lie, especially compared to the myriad deception she had woven to reach this point. The landlord shrugged and handed her two keys; one for her door and one for her mail locker in the lobby. She took the keys, smiled, and began the long trek up the stairs to her eighth-floor walk-up. It would be her first true shelter in almost two years. As soon as she was out of view of the lobby her steady gate turned into a dash. She ascended the stairs two, sometimes three at a time. Twice she nearly turned her ankle as her unfamiliar heels snagged on the moth-eaten stair runner.

Finally, she arrived at the top floor, home to the smallest and cheapest units of the already low-quality apartment complex. The walk down the hall to her door was nearly intoxicating. The streets of Cairo were teeming with life, but it was the hustle and bustle of the public. Up here the scents and sounds of intimacy wafted through the air and threatened to overtake her. It was equal parts alienating and familiar; a reminder of the life she had lost and yet so vastly different than the life she had recently been leading. Isis lingered briefly by one door from which she could hear children at play and smell roasting vegetables. She longed to enter that door.

Isis opened her own door slowly. There was a moment of irrational alarm when her key stuck in the lock but the elderly bolts soon gave way. She stepped inside wondering what she would find. One reason the apartment was so cheap was that she'd had to accept it sight unseen. Isis had somehow been in the right place at the right time to negotiate an illegal sublet offer from Hiram, the previous tenant, who needed to leave the city in a rush. If she was willing to pay her first month in advance and pretend to be the man's cousin so as to evade suspicion of subletting, the place was hers at cost. The only catch was that the tenant had what he called "sensitive materials" (drugs, supplied the Torc) that he didn't want "a bright young woman to be bothered with" (no witnesses, supplied her own common sense) and so was unable to show her the place first. Time was of the essence and he needed an answer immediately. They shook hands. She would move in the following afternoon.

Isis had been tempted to use the Torc to see the apartment but managed to restrain herself. Only for necessity, only for necessity, she repeated like a mantra. She had used it that morning to secure her position at the museum. She had used it to run into Hiram after his important "business meeting." She had used to make sure that Hiram's business would not put her on the wrong side of the law if she accepted the apartment. It was necessary to know these things. Using it to see the apartment interior felt like an abuse of power, and she knew all too well where that path led. Thus it was with curiosity that she entered her new home for the first time.

It was small; just one room and a restroom. There was a kitchenette in the far corner that included a sink and a small stove. The only delineation between it and the living room was a jagged line where the carpet had been inexpertly ripped away to reveal the concrete floor beneath. Either Hiram had moved all of his furniture out with him or the apartment had been solely for the purpose of storing his illicit merchandise. The room was completely bare. Dust motes filled the air and shimmered in the afternoon sunlight.

Isis gently placed her duffel bag and briefcase, the sum total of all her worldly possessions, on the floor. Next, she kicked off her pumps and took a ginger step onto the industrial grey-brown carpet. It was stained and frayed in multiple places but after walking barefoot for almost two years and then spending a day in pleather heels it felt more luxurious underfoot than she had dared to imagine. She shuffled her feet back and forth, savoring the texture of the carpet fibers against her aching soles.

She took off her blazer and Oxford shirt, taking care not to undo any of the strategically placed safety pins. It had been so hard to find the right position to give her the illusion of hips and she didn't want to bother with it again if she could help it. Next, she unzipped the pencil skirt and unpinned the fabric scraps from the front and sides of her shorts and longed for a day when she would not have to create the illusion of being a healthy weight. Where once stood a professional young woman now was a half-starved, seventeen-year-old girl wearing a yellowing t-shirt and a pair of children's bike shorts.

After hanging her work clothes on the doorknob Isis took a lap around the room, taking care to test the security of the locks, the state of the bathroom's plumbing, and the condition of the stove. Everything seemed to be in working order. Much to her delight she even found a cracked full-length mirror on the inside of the bathroom door. More out of habit than necessity she gave the Torc a mental nudge and picked up on no immediate threats. For the first time since she had made the mistake of taking Malik outside, Isis was absolutely safe. In this place, at this time, she did not have to watch over her shoulder. She did not have to poise herself to flee. She did not have to pretend to be older and wiser than she was. And, she realized with a jolt, she did not have to wear the Torc.

The prospect of taking the Torc off was simultaneously terrifying and invigorating. Over the last two years, it had been her only ally. The Torc had provided for her, guided her steps, and kept her safe. Isis thought that to be without those powers now would feel similar to going suddenly blind. On the other hand, the Torc was a heavy burden to bear. Aside from the mental strain that came from using its gifts it also carried the weight of its sacred past and the pull of its impending future. Sometimes she imagined herself as its prisoner, trapped in the confines of the present, guided by its will and not her own.

Despite her reservations, the urge to gain even a brief moment of freedom from the Torc was too much for Isis to ignore. With trembling fingers, Isis unclasped the Torc for the first time in two years. It occurred to her that since she had never taken it off, and before leaving home had not been allowed near it alone, she had never really examined it closely. She turned it around in her hands a few times and cringed when she saw a few strands of her hair stuck in the clasp and a sweaty film in the crevice on the back of the Wadjet Eye. Millennium Item or not, it was still a piece of jewelry that had been worn without removal for far too long. Isis made a mental note to clean it before starting work.

She put the Torc reverentially onto her kitchen counter. She had no idea what breaking physical contact with it would do and braced herself for anything from a burst of power, to strange visions, to fatigue. It was almost anticlimactic when nothing happened. The Wadjet Eye gazed benignly up at her and put her in mind of a dog waiting for a command from its owner. "Good… girl?" she mumbled and then smiled sheepishly at the childishness of talking to the Torc like it was her pet. It had not been very dignified.

But it had felt good.

It had been a long time since Isis had acted her age, and now in the confines of her little apartment, she could. And why not? Even in the Tomb, she hadn't acted like the child that she was. After her mother's death, she and Rishid had essentially become Malik's surrogate parents. Isis' first concrete memory was of that night. Though she was only three at the time, the sounds of her mother's suffering had been branded deep inside of her. She had stood with Rishid, both of them so helpless, while her father had tended the birth. At one point her father had run out of the hall and returned with the Millennium Rod, knife unsheathed. Her mother had immediately fallen silent, her expression of pain replaced by a passive smile. Then her father used the knife…

Halima, a longtime Ishtar family servant and Malik's nurse, had explained later that her brother had come out feet-first, and when that happens the only way to save the mother and child was to cut the child out. She swore to Isis that her father had been trying to save everyone the only way he knew how. Halima had also told her not to blame Malik for their mother's death. Isis had simply nodded. The truth was that blaming Malik had never occurred to her. Even as a child Isis had understood that he hadn't come out backward on purpose. When she thought about that night all she could remember was her father, happier than she had ever seen him before or since, dashing away with Malik and leaving their mother to bleed to death. If he ever grieved the loss of his wife, Isis had not seen it.

At first their father had tried to involve himself in their lives. Or at least he tried to involve himself in Malik's life. He mostly ignored Isis, checking in sporadically to ensure that she was keeping up with her studies. Rishid had been demoted from son to servant. Isis' mother had treated Rishid so much like her own that Isis had been shocked when her father told her that he was not actually her brother, and therefore not to be treated as such. While Isis and Rishid faded into the background, their father doted on Malik.

This attention lasted for about five years. It soon became apparent that Malik was not the perfectly devoted student that their father had envisioned. Instead of listening patiently to the reading of sacred texts, Malik would fidget and make up his own nonsensical stories about the historical figures. Malik avoided the inner holy chambers of the Tomb in favor of the entry way and light well. He seemed to crave attention from Isis and Rishid over somber meditation. To put it bluntly, their father was dismayed to discover that Malik was, indeed, a normal child. The breaking point came when, at six-years-old, their father decided it was time to tell Malik about the Tomb Keepers' Initiation. He had expected his son to be eager to embrace his sacred heritage. Instead, Malik had his first anxiety attack. Their father's relationship with Malik soon turned from one of a hopeful and loving mentor to an exasperated task master.

As her father grew older he began to involve himself less and less with their family. He spent most of his time deep in his chambers or in the room where the Torc and Rod were kept, only interacting with his children when he absolutely had to. Thus it had fallen on Isis to instruct the servants, manage the food coming into the tomb, and generally ensure that their day-to-day lives operated smoothly.

She had not needed the Millennium Torc to see what her future held; she knew that her father was wasting away, if not physically then certainly mentally, and would soon leave her to run the Tomb entirely. Instead of joining the outer clan and helping provide for the central clan, which was the traditional job of the female heirs, she would have to stay and look after her brother. Even after she found a wife for him she still didn't think she would trust Malik to manage things without her. Theoretically, Rishid could take that role over for her but she knew that her adoptive brother's love for Malik would make him too easy to manipulate.

Isis understood her fate and begrudgingly accepted it. However, before resigning herself to a life of darkness, she had decided to spend one more day in the light. Oh, she told Rishid and Malik and even herself that it was for him, that she'd had to be talked into it, that she was doing it against her will, but it was all lies. She wanted to feel the sun on her skin, and the wind in her hair, and walk the streets of the bazaar on her own without the weight of responsibility and unaccompanied by a family member (Malik didn't count. All older siblings know that younger siblings don't count.). Malik had simply been a convenient excuse. That hour was supposed to have been the last moment of childish freedom for the rest of her life.

In the following nights, she often lay awake replaying the situation in her mind. What if she had paid more attention to the servants as they operated the doors and had known about the hidden alarm? What if they hadn't walked all the way into the village and had just explored the ruins instead? What if she had intercepted Malik before he claimed the Millennium Rod? What if she hadn't been a selfish little brat? Malik had been the one to kill their father but Isis put the blame squarely on herself. She had manipulated him into going outside. She had betrayed her family's sacred duty, her father's trust, and her brothers' souls.

She remembered waking up to the glow of candlelight. In the sleepy haze before her consciousness fully returned, she had stretched her limbs out and enjoyed the warmth on her skin. It had been a beautiful few minutes. The illusion was shattered the instant she opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was blood spattered over her tunic. Except for a scraped knee and a dull headache she seemed to have no injuries. It was not her blood. She reached behind her to use the floor as a brace to stand. Instead of hard stone, her hand landed on something yielding and sticky. Cold dread began to spread through her. She remembered the past year when she had accidentally spilled stew over a sacred text. The sensation of iced fear she felt when telling her father about her mistake and awaiting punishment paled in comparison to this. Isis knew whose blood she had woken up in. The last thing she remembered before losing consciousness was Malik lunging for the Millennium Rod. Such insolence would surely garner a terrible punishment, the worst thing that could happen to Malik without physically harming him. She was certain that what her hand now rested on was Rishid's body. Slowly Isis turned to face her older brother.

From as far back as Isis could remember she had never had a particularly good relationship with her father. Even so, the sight of his mangled body crushedher.

"F-Father?" she said, her voice shaking. He was laying on his stomach, leaving his back exposed. It had been completely flayed away. "Father?" she said again, louder and more firmly this time. If it was just a torn back, he could be alright, she told herself. His back had been torn up before and he survived. So had Malik. She grabbed his shoulder and attempted to roll him over. It took a few tries. Her father was much heavier than she had expected and the still-fresh blood prevented her from getting a good grip. With a final heave she managed to turn him over. In her panic it never occurred to Isis that, had her father been alive, putting all of his weight on his shredded back would have been a terrible idea. But it didn't matter. The deep puncture wound over his heart told Isis that he was gone.

Fighting the urge to break down entirely, Isis staggered to her feet. Her father's blood was still bright red meaning that the atrocity had been committed recently. And where were Malik and Rishid? What if the murderer was after them, too? She remembered the man from the village. It had to have been him. He must be an enemy of the Pharaoh seeking to destroy his servants. That meant that her brothers were in mortal danger as well. She could see a trail of bloody footsteps leading out of the Millenniumchamber, up the stairs, and into the light. Isis followed the trail dreading what she would find. As she ran a fragment of memory came back to her. Just before fainting she remembered hearing a cracked, malicious voice; the voice of the murderer.

She burst outside expecting to see her brothers mangled like her father and the strange man laughing at their demise. Instead, she found Malik and Rishid sitting on a stone slab a few yards away from the Tomb's entrance. Malik was breathing heavily like he'd just had one of his anxiety attacks and Rishid was trying to sooth him.

"Breathe, breathe, breathe," her older brother was chanting. "There you go. Just breathe." Malik nodded, but then gasped and started shaking again.

"Quick, what's seven times eighteen?" Rishid asked.

"One hundred and twenty-six," Malik stuttered after a brief pause.

"Good, that's right. Now, who was the first known Pharaoh?" Rishid continued.

Isis had seen this routine many times before. She and Rishid had discovered that the best way to calm Malik during an anxiety attack was to make him focus on other things. This familiar scene caused Isis to be overtaken with relief to the point of delirium. Despite everything she found herself laughing as she dashed over. Without hesitation, she flung her arms around both of them. Instead of returning her embrace like she expected, Rishid recoiled with a pained groan and Malik pushed her away.

"Don't touch him!" Malik yelled. "Can't you see he's hurt, foolish girl?!"

Sure enough from up close Isis could see that Rishid's back almost as bad as their father's. Already flies were beginning to hover around him. Her misguided hug had smeared her forearm with blood. "Sorry!" she gasped. "What happened? Was it the stranger? Where is he?" She looked between the two of them, desperate for answers.

"No," Malik answered, his voice trembling. "It was Father."

Isis shuddered. Punishment had been dealt after all. "I'm sorry Rishid," she said. "It's my fault."

"Don't worry, Miss Isis," he said. "I am fine."

Isis doubted that he was truly fine, but there would be time to atone later. Currently, there were more pressing issues to address. "So who… who did that to Father?"

"The stranger."

"The Pharaoh!"

Both of her brothers' answers were blurted out almost before Isis had finished the question. Rishid's response was calm to the point of being rehearsed. Malik's response was frenzied and bordered on panic. She looked from one to the other trying to figure out where to start. As she took them in Isis noticed something she had previously overlooked. Lying innocuously between them on the slab was the Millennium Rod. As she stared at it a fly landed on the sheath and began to explore.

She reached out to take the Rod but Malik snatched it up and clutched it possessively to his chest. The fly drifted away from the Rod and landed on Isis' bloodied tunic.

"Ah, what a good instinct to protect the sacred Items," Rishid said after an uncomfortable pause. "But I think, Master Malik, that you should let your sister see it." His tone was light and reassuring, but Isis could sense an undertow of fear.

"Yes," she said quickly, trying to match Rishid's calm tenor. "You've done such a good job of protecting it. Why don't you let me worry about it for now?"

With a look of extreme uncertainty, Malik passed the Rod to Isis. "Thank you," she said with false cheerfulness and tugged the knife about an inch out of the sheath. It was hard to hide her disgust when she saw the browning blood that coated it. She had found the murder weapon and it didn't add up. If it had been the stranger who killed their father with the Millennium Rod then how had Rishid and Malik, an unarmed young man and a child, been able to get it away from him?

The words 'foolish girl' replayed in Isis' mind. That's what Malik had called her when she'd accidentally touched Rishid's wounds. It's what her father called her when she disappointed him. She had never heard Malik use the expression until moments ago and now it was bothering her. And since when had he been so protective of the Millennium Rod? Up until that day Malik had been afraid of it. And… had he just said the Pharaoh killed their father?

Isis glanced over to Rishid who quickly averted his eyes. "Why don't… why don't you tell me what happened down there, Malik?" she asked, trying to keep her tone easy. "All I remember is walking down the stairs and then I think I fainted. Could you please fill me in?"

Rishid cut in before Malik had a chance to answer. "Please, let me," he said, the fear now more prominent in his voice. "Malik had quite an ordeal and I don't think we should make him relive it so soon." Malik sat silently, his eyes transfixed on the Millennium Rod in Isis' hands.

"Very well," conceded Isis. She wanted to hear Malik's version of events but Rishid had a point. The last thing they needed was for Malik to break down. Still, she had the feeling that there was something her brothers, or at least Rishid, did not want her to know.

"It was a man with the Millennium Ankh. Malik says you saw him in the village. He must have followed you home. He pushed you into the wall and you passed out. Then he used the Ankh to overpower Master Ishtar and steal the Millennium Rod, and then the stranger killed him." As he spoke Rishid maintained the same rehearsed calmness he used to answer her before.

"Then what?" Isis asked. "That can't be all he did. Did he say why he was doing this? Or attack you, or go after the Torc?"

"No. He just vanished. Malik started to panic and I thought it best to take him away from the… from Master Ishtar."

Isis stared at her older brother for a moment, unsure of how to proceed. None of what he had just said made any sense. Why would someone kill the patriarch of the Tomb Keepers and run away without killing the rest of his lineage or taking the Millennium Items? Even a common thief wouldn't have left without stealing something. How had he just vanished?

"Rishid," Isis began calmly. "I don't understand. He just killed Father and left?"

"I'm telling you all that I know," Rishid insisted, though she noticed that he still would not look directly at her. "It doesn't make sense to me either, but that's what-"

"He was working for the Pharaoh."

Isis and Rishid froze. The fact that Malik had interrupted was not remotely surprising, but his time was different from his usual emotional outbursts. Malik's voice was low, almost a whisper, and seemed to be void of emotion. In any case, for him to settle down so quickly after a panic attack was unheard of. His eyes were still transfixed on the Millennium Rod and it seemed as if he was addressing it rather than his siblings.

"Isis, you heard what he said in the village. 'This is the will of the Pharaoh,'" Malik continued. "And after he killed Father, he told me that I had taken my first steps down the dark road of the Pharaoh. The Pharaoh wanted father dead."

"No, that can't be right," Isis said, though she too had heard the stranger in the village and been alarmed by his words. "He's probably just a regular man who was overcome by the Millennium Ankh. You know the Millennium Items can corrupt the unworthy." As she spoke, Isis could feel herself relaxing. Yes, that made perfect sense! Their father had warned them many times about the dangers of using the Millennium Items irresponsibly. If an Item judged its user unfit it could draw out the darkness hidden deep within them. There were even cryptic tales that suggested certain Millennium Items could possess even the purest hearted users.

Yet something in her subconscious was fighting to make itself known.

"Yes!" Rishid chimed in a little too enthusiastically. "That must be it! Some poor man must have gotten ahold of the Millennium Ankh and was driven to madness by it. You know the Items are attracted to each other. It was probably pulling him to the Rod and the Torc. It probably put that stuff about the Pharaoh into his mind. It must have meant it was the will of the Pharaoh for all the Millennium Items to be united. And the Ankh allows you to see into souls. When the man, or the Ankh maybe, realized that it had killed a guardian of the Items it knew it had made a mistake and fled!"

His words came pouring out in a jumble. All her life Isis had known Rishid to be thoughtful and subdued while Malik was emotional and impulsive. Now it seemed as if her brothers were trading personalities. She tried to convince herself that their sudden change in demeanor was the result of shock, but something felt more deeply off.

Whatever was fighting for her attention seemed to struggle harder.

"Yes," she conceded after Rishid came to a stop. "That does seem likely." Isis sighed and sank to the ground. So much had happened in such a short time that she had not yet been able to process all of it. She stared mutely at the sand for a moment and twirled the Millennium Rod absentmindedly in her hands. "I should probably clean this," she said softly, though the idea of unsheathing the blade and dealing with the blood nauseated her. There was a sudden weight on her shoulder. Expecting to see Rishid, she looked up. Instead, Malik was standing over her, his hand resting on her shoulder. "I will clean it. It is my responsibility now." His voice was still uncharacteristically soft, but his expression was back to something close to normal.

"I suppose so," Isis said and began to hand the Rod over to him. As Malik reached for the Rod, Isis realized what had been vying for her attention. The last thing she could remember seeing before losing consciousness was Malik seizing the Millennium Rod and pointing it at their father. That part of the confrontation had been suspiciously absent from Rishid's account. Maybe he hadn't mentioned Malik taking the Millennium Rod because he knew that Isis had been awake when it happened. She desperately wanted to believe that was true, but Rishid's evasive behavior was too much to ignore.

She quickly tugged the Rod away from Malik and held it out of his reach. "Wait," she said, trying to keep her face neutral. "Why don't I take care of it? You've been through so much today. I don't think you should have to deal with this right now."

A brief flicker of anger crossed Malik's face but it was gone in an instant. He plopped down beside Isis and buried his face in his hands. "Yeah… yeah, you're right," he sighed, his voice slightly muffled. He leaned so that Isis was supporting his weight. "My head hurts so much," he said as he pressed his cheek to her shoulder. "I think the stranger did something to me with the Millennium Ankh, but I don't remember what. Isis, I'm so tired."

Isis wrapped her arm around him and looked back at Rishid. He still seemed unable to look directly at her. She was sure he was withholding something. "I think something happened to me, too. I can barely remember anything after walking down the stairs," she said softly.

"Me too!" Malik looked up at her with an expression bordering on relief. "The last thing I remember was seeing father hurting Rishid, and then the next thing I know father was… he was in my arms… and the stranger said…" Malik trailed off. His eyes had filled with tears. "I took his earrings." He tucked his hair behind his ears and showed Isis the earrings. "One fell off and for some reason I couldn't leave them. I don't know why but it felt important."

Isis smiled as her little brother jabbered on. This was more like him. She was still unnerved by Rishid's behavior, but at least one of her siblings was acting normally. She wrapped her other arm around Malik and hugged him tightly. This time he returned the gesture without protest. "I'm sorry," she sighed. "I'm so sorry."

They sat like that for a while. She had half hoped that Rishid would join them, but he remained on the stone slab. At some point, Malik had started to cry and Isis fought back the urge to join him. There would be time to mourn later. Now she had to focus on taking care of her family and figuring out what was going on. After a few minutes, she relaxed her grip and began to rise.

"The sun is setting," she observed. Malik nodded his understanding. Underground the time of day had never really factored into their lives, but out here she knew it was important. Even in the desert, the night could bring dangerously cold temperatures and, especially in ruins like this, certain unsavory characters looking for artifacts to sell.

"What are we going to do now?" Malik asked, looking from Isis to Rishid for answers.

Isis wished that she had the answers but she wasn't even sure she knew all that had happened. She had no idea where to start. "Tomorrow is resupply day," Isis answered. "The servants will be here. They'll figure out what to do."

"That sounds like the best plan," Rishid said, though his voice was uncertain.

Malik nodded. "I guess so," he conceded. "But where will we stay until then?"

"Inside," Isis answered. "Where else would we stay?" As she answered, she felt Malik tense up beside her. His breathing became shallow.

"I don't want to go back inside," he said, his voice edged with anxiety. "I can't go back in the dark, Isis. I don't want to go!"

"Maybe we could try the village?" Rishid cut in. "I don't know if facing Master Ishtar's remains would be good for Malik. Maybe there's somewhere else we could stay."

Isis looked incredulously at her older brother. "If the servants discover father dead and us missing, they will assume the worst. There will be horrible consequences to pay. Rishid, you of all people should know that." She could not fathom how, even beset by fear and grief, Rishid could possibly suggest that. "If they even knew how long Malik has already been outside they might reject him as Tomb Keeper, or worse. They would certainly punish him."

"But I don't want to be Tomb Keeper!" Malik shouted. "Let them reject me! I don't want it!" Isis could tell he was on the verge of a breakdown. She put her hands on his shoulders and tried to calm him. Rishid leaped off the slab and began to rub Malik's back soothingly.

"I know, I know," Isis said in as gentle of a voice as she could. "But we can't stay out here, you know we can't. And who knows, maybe they'll let Rishid take over." This was false. Isis knew that family tradition dictated that the role of Tomb Keeper must be passed from father to son. The family would never allow Rishid to assume that responsibility. It was a lie, but it seemed to calm Malik. He turned and looked at the tomb entrance reluctantly. Rishid put his hand on Malik's shoulder and began to guide him towards the stairs. He still seemed anxious, but willing to walk without much urging. Isis scooped up the Millennium Rod and joined them.

"Anyway," she continued as they reached the concealed tomb doors. "We can't leave the sacred texts and Millennium Items unattended. Could you imagine what would happen if a grave robber found them? No matter what happens, we have to serve the Pharaoh."

Years later Isis would remember it as the most stupid thing she had ever said.

Malik froze at the top of the staircase, causing Rishid and Isis to stumble into him. It felt like running into a wall of iron. "No," he hissed. "We do not."

Malik turned to face his siblings. The glow of the setting sun cast strange shadows over his face. "You heard what the stranger said. It was the will of the Pharaoh that our father should die. He did this to us. I will not serve him. Not ever again."

Isis heard Rishid's breathing quicken. "Master Malik," he began, trying and failing to sound calm. "That's not true. The stranger was possess-"

"No! All our lives, all our family, everyone has been serving the Pharaoh for three thousand years! We did everything for him, we gave up everything, and how does he repay us?! He kills our father!" Malik's voice had changed from a whisper to an infuriated roar. Tears began to stream down his cheeks. Isis had seen Malik have several bad anxiety attacks. The night before the Ritual had been horrible. She'd sat up all night with Malik as he'd cried and hyperventilated. But as terrible as that had been, she had never seen anything like this. She had never seen Malik so enraged before.

"B-brother," she stuttered. "You don't know what you're talking a-" She was cut off as Rishid clamped his hand over her mouth.

"Hush," he hissed in her ear. "If you don't stop talking you'll end up like Master Ishtar." Isis watched in mute horror as Malik, still raging, sank to his knees and clutched at his head.

"I will not go into the dark again! Not for him!" Malik roared, oblivious to his siblings.

Isis wrenched Rishid's hand away from her mouth and pushed him away. "Malik!" she yelled with as much authority as she could muster. "Stand up! You are better than this! Look at me!"

Through tears Malik turned to look at his sister, but instead of meeting her gaze his eyes fell upon the Millennium Rod clutched at her side. His sobbing and shaking instantly ceased. His eyes, which seemed to glow purple in the twilight, narrowed. Another wave of recollection washed over Isis. She remembered seeing dull, narrowed eyes glaring at her before losing consciousness. Somehow his sudden calmness was more concerning than his rage. "That's mine," he said in a hoarse whisper. "Give it back, Isis."

Technically, Malik was right. Now that their father was dead, the Rod was rightfully his. But in his frenzied state, Isis was sure that giving him the Rod was a bad idea. What was more, Rishid's remark about ending up like her father had not gone amiss. A horrible suspicion about what had truly happened in the tomb crept over her. The memory of Malik diving for the Millennium Rod, the wild-eyed stare, the cracked voice of the murderer… the contorted face of her brother.

"No." Isis tried so hard to sound firm but she could feel the tremble in her voice. "You're too upset. I'm keeping it for now."

She put the Millennium Rod behind her back forcing Malik to finally meet her gaze. While the eyes Isis stared into were not the wild eyes she remembered from earlier, they weren't quite her brother's either. His usual expression of excitable curiosity was replaced with a look of calculating anger. This was not the first time Isis had seen Malik this way. Since receiving the Tomb Keeper's Initiation two years previous she had noticed his disposition becoming gradually darker.

"But sister, think about it," he hissed. "What if the stranger was telling the truth? What if the Pharaoh did want all of this to happen?"

Isis shook her head. "No, that can't be true and you know it."

"Even if he didn't want our father to die it hardly excuses him. We have worked so hard to preserve his secrets. For three thousand years we have rotted in the dark while he has rested. And for what? When he comes back do you think he'll repay us for the thousands of years we've suffered for him? What could he give us that could possibly make up for it all?"

The words seemed to flow from him too smoothly. It was obvious to both Isis and Rishid that this was not the first time these ideas had occurred to Malik; it was simply the first time he voiced them so openly.

"Master," Rishid said softly. "I know your pain. I promise I do." He raised a hand to the scars on his face. "You are not alone. I share your destiny and-"

"Silence Rishid! It's not the same, you fool. I never asked you to do that! It was your own stupid decision," Malik spat.

"Malik!" gasped Isis, now outraged herself. "How dare you talk to our brother like that?!" Typically all it took was a look from Rishid to settle Malik when he was acting out. Even at his absolute worst Malik had never been so cruel.

"I did this for you," Rishid said. His voice was still soothing but it was obvious from his expression that Malik's vindictiveness had hurt him. "It may have been stupid, but I do not regret it. No matter what I will never let you walk alone. I will follow whichever path you choose."

For a second it appeared as if Malik was going to further insult Rishid, but words seemed to fail him in the face of his brother's selflessness. "Yes," he sighed instead. "You deserve better." Perhaps he's not too far gone, Isis thought. Malik turned to face her again. "And you deserve better, too, sister."

Isis was about to protest, but Malik cut her off before she could start. "Isis, we have two Millennium Items. Imagine what we could do with them. Father never used them except to punish us. He let them go to waste. But if I used the Rod and you used the Torc, think of how we could live."

Isis gaped at her brother. "What on earth are you talking about? We can't just-" she gestured vaguely, words temporarily forgotten due to the insanity of Malik's suggestion, "just use them, just because we want to. Father taught us-"

"What he taught us was foolish. If he had used the Millennium Torc, he would still be alive now."

Isis' rebuttal died in her mouth. Malik was right. She had never once seen her father use the Torc. If he had checked it, even occasionally, he could have prevented his own murder, stopped Malik from getting bitten by the cobra, and foreseen their mother's death. Anger flared within her at that thought, but Isis pushed it back down. There would be time to face her pain later.

"I know father seemed… lax in his duties," she conceded. "You will not make the same mistakes. You will be better than him."

"I already am." Malik's eyes seemed to glimmer as he spoke. "I am better because, unlike him, I will not be a willing slave to a Pharaoh I have never met." His lips quirked into a grin and caused the shadows to dance eerily across his face. "I have an idea."

Seeing Malik's face distorted in darkness gave Isis another disconcerting wave of memory from earlier that day. They were becoming sharper now. She could recall the veins on his temples pulsing and the way his posture had somehow become angular and rangy. Even his hair had seemed disheveled though there had been no breeze underground. Isis was now almost certain that it was Malik who had killed their father. Likewise, she was sure Rishid knew and was lying about it to protect him, but from whom? Even if her brother had done the unthinkable, there was no way Isis could harm him and she was sure Rishid knew it. Neither would the servants. As the only living heir, Malik's life was too valuable to risk. That left only one person, the person Rishid had sworn to protect from anything and everything.

Malik had never been good at hiding his feelings and even worse at lying despite how hard he tried. His siblings could always tell when he'd done something wrong by the look on his face alone. An important aspect of the outside excursion plot had been keeping Malik as far away from their father as possible for several days following their trip. Before discovering the hidden alarm, his tendency to wear his emotions on his sleeves had seemed like the biggest liability in their plan. For Ra's sake, he had been making motorcycle noises as they'd entered the tomb. Years later, when he'd become the leader of an international crime syndicate and had learned the art of deception from a myriad of bad influences, Malik had still been unable to keep his feelings from his siblings.

When Isis had met her brothers after discovering their father's body, Malik had been completely guileless. Even now in his sinisterly calm state, Isis was sure that he wouldn't be able to conceal something so important from her. At this point she could almost imagine him bragging about it, but not hiding it. If Malik had indeed murdered their father, he had done it unknowingly, under an outside influence be it the Millennium Rod or the stranger with the Ankh. Rishid was protecting him from the truth. Despite how unnerving the shadowy figure before her was, Isis reminded herself that it was still her little brother. She squared her shoulders and looked him in the eyes.

"Unless your idea involves marching inside right now, I'm not interested."

Malik pressed on, unimpressed by Isis' attempt at authority. "The stranger said that the Pharaoh's time is almost at hand and that I was going down the dark road of the Pharaoh. What if he meant that it is my destiny to become the Pharaoh?"

Rishid and Isis stood in dumbfounded silence. The only sound to be heard was the buzz of flies attracted to their blood-soaked clothing. Neither sibling had known what to expect, but it certainly wasn't this.

In retrospect, Isis knew that she should have kept her mouth shut and let Rishid handle the situation. When it came right down to it he was better at calming Malik than she was. But it had been such a long and horrible day, and she had been so busy dealing with Rishid and Malik that she had not yet experienced any of the appropriate shock and grief. In the span of about six hours, her life had shattered around her, and she hadn't even cried yet. Raw emotion was building up inside of her and the dam was beginning to crack.

"Master Malik, I think if we try to discuss-"

"Shut up, Malik! That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard!"

Malik gaped at her. For as long as he could remember, both of his older siblings had seemed more like adults than children. This was the first time he had ever seen Isis act like a kid. In fact, this was the first time he had ever seen anyone besides himself act like a kid.

"No, you shut up!" Malik blurted out, his train of thought only briefly derailed. "My idea is really good! I know I'm not the real Pharaoh, but I can become him. I can use the Millennium Rod, and you can use the Torc, and we can seek out the other Millennium Items and find the three gods and bring back the Pharaoh, then I can banish him and become the new Pharaoh and rule. And I would be a good king, and I would never make anyone live underground!"

"Malik, I… how can…?" Isis tried to reign her emotions back in. "I don't think you know what you are talking about," she finally managed. But it sounded for all the world like he did. How many nights had Malik laid awake imagining this heresy? "He's the rightful ruler and you know it."

"Master, think about this," Rishid interjected. "If his time is at hand like the stranger said, then we will welcome him and escort him to the afterlife. And then we will be free! Think about that. If the stranger is right, our time protecting the Tomb will soon be over and you can live in the light. Isn't that something to be joyful about?"

There was a pregnant pause. Isis watched Malik and waited for his reaction. If that did not sway him, then she knew nothing would. Finally, Malik spoke.

"No." His voice was once again full of quiet anger.

"'No'? What do you mean, 'no'?" Isis demanded, exasperated.

"That is not good enough," Malik hissed. "I already told you, sister. He does not deserve to just wake up and be at peace, not when we have suffered for so long. I will not be satisfied until he knows my pain. I will send him to the afterlife, but I will send him on his hands and knees."

Malik looked upwards. The sun was now almost completely set and stars were beginning to twinkle in the inky desert night. "Isis, Rishid, it's so beautiful," Malik whispered. The last sliver of sunlight reflected off his hair as it fluttered in the breeze, wreathing him in a crown of light. He slowly turned back to his siblings. "Help me," he whispered. "I can bring the Pharaoh to justice and claim our reward. But I need your help."

A chill began to spread throughout Isis' body. This was still Malik and not the monster who had killed their father, but that somehow made everything worse. Malik, her beloved brother, was choosing this corrupt path for himself.

"Master," Rishid whispered. "Is there anything I can say or do to convince you to choose a different way?" His voice was hoarse and hopeful. Isis wondered what he would do when Malik answered the way she knew he inevitably would.

"This is my decision, Rishid," he responded. "I will not be swayed."

"Very well," Rishid said and smiled. Isis held her breath and waited for him to react. She knew that he would do the right thing. Rishid was loyal to a fault, true enough, but he had sworn to protect Malik. Surely, he would never let their little brother make such a terrible mistake.

Isis trusted Rishid completely, which is why his blow caught her so off-guard. It was hardly more than a firm push but so unexpected that it caused Isis to fall backward. As she flailed to regain her balance Rishid took advantaged of her weakened grip on the Millennium Rod and snatched it out of her hand. She hit the sandy ground and scrambled to stand back up, but it was too late. Rishid had already handed the Millennium Rod to Malik.

"I swore to serve you," Rishid said as he once again touched his scarred face. "I will keep that promise. I shall follow where you lead."

"Rishid, how could you?!" Isis cried. Unbidden tears welled in her eyes. "Malik please, give that back! You barely know how to use it!"

Malik shook his head. "Sister, I'm giving you one last chance," he said. "I beg you, come with us. You deserve to be free! Come with us, please?"

"No!" she said, pain saturating her voice. "I won't let you do this!" Without giving herself time to think, Isis lunged for the Millennium Rod.

Instead of clearing the five or so feet with ease, she crashed hard to the desert ground once again. This time she found herself unable to rise no matter how hard she tried. She swiveled her eyes, the only part of her that seemed capable of movement, up to her brothers. Malik was pointing the Millennium Rod at her.

"Stand up," he commanded. She obeyed.

"Br'th'r," she mumbled through lips that did not want to part. "Pl'se…"

"I gave you a chance, but you won't see reason. You may stay in the dark if you wish but you will not make me."

Isis struggled against Malik's influence. The powers of the Rod were still new to him. After several years and much practice he would be able to completely control most victims, turning them into puppets incapable of accessing their own thoughts and feelings. But this was only his second time to use the Rod, and the first time to use it in his right mind. Isis could still move her eyes, speak in slurs, and even twitch a few muscles, and her mind was completely her own. She looked imploringly at Rishid.

"R'sh'd," she burbled. "Plis, 'elp me."

Rishid looked away from her. "I'm sorry, Miss Isis," he mumbled. "But I promised to serve Master Malik."

"What ab't me?" The tears were now streaming down her face. "Y'r my br'th'r, too."

"Silence," Malik ordered, and her lips sealed tightly together. "Now, I order you to walk into the Tomb."

Isis' body walked itself to the entrance and began to descend the steps. Her legs spasmed painfully as she resisted Malik's control over her, but all that her efforts amounted to was a twisted ankle. When she reached the floor she heard Malik and Rishid whispering above her. Isis couldn't make out any words but their tones suggested that they were debating something. After a few minutes of waiting, she heard a dull grinding sound above her. The soft light from the desert began to fade as her brothers closed the Tomb doors. As darkness engulfed her, she heard Malik call out one last order. "Wait there." She did.

Isis stood alone in the dark for what felt like a lifetime. The stench of old blood wafted through the tomb and nauseated her. Soon she began to cry in silence, the salty tears and sand still clinging to her from the fall mingling together and rubbing her face raw. She prayed to all the gods and all the kings that her brothers would change their minds and come back for her, but they never did. The pain of their betrayal hurt as badly as, if not worse than, the pain of her father's death. Her father had merely been a looming shadow in the background. Malik and Rishid had been her entire life. She loved them and had thought that they surely must love her, too. But they had abandoned her in the dark.

After more than two hours, Malik's control over her broke. The sudden lack of restraint caused her to fall forward onto the flagstones. She curled up and began to sob in earnest. After everything that she had been through, weeping so openly felt almost euphorically good. Isis knew that there were matters of grave importance she needed to attend, but at that moment her body needed to express at least some of the day's trauma.

Eventually Isis' sobs subsided enough for her to take stock of the situation. She was alone in the Tomb with just her father's body and the Millennium Torc. This struck her as odd. Malik had seemed drunk with the power of the Millennium Rod. Why would he pass on the opportunity to control both of the Items? She wondered if that's what they had argued about before shutting the doors, if Rishid had possibly interceded on her behalf, but thinking of them caused a fresh wave of sorrow to course through her. Instead, she simply counted herself lucky that they hadn't taken the Torc as well.

Isis rose unsteadily to her feet, legs still aching from the long hours she spent frozen, and set to the unpleasant tasks at hand. While she lacked the strength to move her father's body to the ritual room to await his funeral rites, she could at least clean the blood up and make him more respectable. She found a bottle of strong vinegar, a handful of scrubbing rags, and a linen sheet, and then began to make her way to the Millennium chamber, pausing here and there to wipe up the odd speck of blood. As she drew closer to the Millennium chamber the smell of coagulating blood became unbearable. Isis stopped to rub a few drops of vinegar under her nose. It made her skin itch and her sinuses burn, but anything was better than the rusty stench of old blood.

Isis paused before entering the Millennium chamber, dreading what awaited her inside. When she had awakened there earlier her desperation to find Malik and Rishid had prevented her from fully absorbing the gruesome details around her. This time there would be no distractions, leaving her to face the reality of the situation. She took a deep, vinegary breath and entered the room.

First, she saw the flies. Isis had noticed a few buzzing around her as she approached but was taken aback by the massive swarm that covered the remains of her father. She noted with horror the way they explored his open mouth and eyes and reveled in the pool of blood beneath him. That was the next thing she saw; the blood. It had changed from a viscous red to a dark, sticky brown and was splattered across the room. She took another step forward and felt the blood sucking at the sole of her shoe. Even with the vinegar under her nose the stench was overwhelming. Unable to stop herself, Isis turned away from her father's body and vomited.

After a few minutes of retching she poured the entire contents of the vinegar jar onto the floor and began to scrub up the mess. As she worked she forced herself to think of other things lest she become sick again. Her thoughts invariably turned to the Millennium Torc. Occasionally Isis would glance up at the necklace and found it miraculously untouched by the blood that had spattered over the rest of the room. Candlelight danced across the Wadjet Eye making it shimmer beguilingly. Isis felt like it was watching her.

Finally, Isis finished with the floor and walls. They still reeked and seemed to give off a greasy sheen, but at the moment it was the best that she could do. She wiped her stained hands on her tunic, trying to ignore the rust-red streaks they left, and turned to her father's body. For a moment Isis considered trying to clean him up as well, but as soon as she knelt beside him she began to heave again. Instead, she settled for draping the clean linen over him.

As Isis began to leave, she once again felt the strange sensation of being observed. She turned and saw the Millennium Torc sitting in its holder, the Wadjet Eye twinkling as if it was alive. As she stared at it an unbidden thought sprang to the forefront of her mind: she wanted to touch it. No, she needed to touch it. For some reason the idea of holding it, of feeling the cool gold against her skin, of wearing it around her neck seemed almost impossible to resist. What was so strange was that she had never once felt the urge to hold either of the Millennium Items before that moment. Isis had always known that the Torc belonged to her father and would be passed directly to Malik and not given it a second thought. But now, alone in the darkness, the desire to hold the Torc was painfully tempting.

Isis cautiously approached the holders, unsure of what she would do when she got there. The Wadjet Eye gazed innocuously up at her. She reached out and hesitated with her hand hovering over it. This is ridiculous, she thought. You don't really want to take the Millennium Torc. You're just tired and grieving, and want it because it's familiar. The painful truth of the thought caused a lump to form in her throat and tears to well back in her eyes. The Torc really was the only constant in her life that had not been torn away from her. Of course she wanted to hold onto it. It wasn't calling to her; she was simply craving comfort.

And what is the harm in that? she asked herself. That afternoon she had held onto the Millennium Rod for quite a while and nothing had happened. Simply allowing herself to hold the Torc for a while surely would not be any different. In fact, the notion of wearing it seemed somehow correct, as if it was the proper thing to do. Isis ignored the memory of Malik's hungry expression as he stared at the Millennium Rod. This was completely different. He had wanted to use the Rod for power and revenge. All Isis wanted was to find some peace. She didn't even want to use the Torc's powers and had no idea how it worked in any case.

Isis glanced down at the remains of her father. Technically, her handling the Millennium Torc was a breach of Ishtar family tradition, but after everything that had happened such a small transgression hardly seemed relevant. "Forgive me, Father," she whispered and reached out for the Torc. Her fingers had just brushed the Torc when-

HEAT DESERT PAIN CARDS EXPLOSIONS GODS "Isis Ishtar." MILLENNIUM ITEMS MONSTERS DRAGONS A BLUE EYED MAN A BOY WITH FIREY HAIR STONE "You are my chosen bearer." WIND FLYING VICTORY RISHID DEAD MALIK DEVOURED "Behold our fate." DARKNESS DARKNESS DARKNESS DARKNESS

[jarvishailey]

Tmj Locking Stupefying Unique Ideas

Is there an effective Bruxism treatment depends on many patients.The essence of a feeling of pressure and pain relievers.Mediation and visualization techniques can also be determined and believe that it does actually not require treatment, but if allowed to continue untreated, it could be one of the Causes include:This is done to treat a literal pain in the jaw.

Tinnitus is often found to occur while awake but more importantly to keep the jaw joint becomes weak.Since one of the doctors will have to go side to rotate the neck.Other causes of bruxism, lasting up to 10% of the TMJ area but also to help relieve the pain, however the effect will definitely help you get to sleep, doing stress-relieving activities just before you start to stretch and relieve some or all of these symptoms may go away for good.Jaw or head or ears that has hops, lemon balm, passion flower and/or peppermint in it.It moves it forwards, backwards, side-to-side and up into the patient's mind in order to make sure your bottom teeth as the body which is a habit of constantly biting things, such as clicking sounds become audible when the individual to chew your mouth and using the mouth guard.

The unnatural means to alleviate the pain.Remember, there is a good resource for detailed information, but when you are looking for.The disorder affects approximately 35 million Americans, and about 720 million people suffer from TMJ.This will prevent him from grinding against each other.Do this 10 times in a comfortable position to keep wearing it every day stresses from turning into chronic stress.

Jaw muscle exercises designed especially for the way that lets you address it naturally:Massaging all of the TMJ disorder is education and understanding.But they don't let him or her teeth or jaw, then you will be referred to as TMJ.Mouth guards are in highly stressed professions are more prone to stress or anxiety.Some of the TMJ, relieving the pain, invasive techniques or surgery involved, but that is estimated millions of people are in the Temporomandibular Joint, which is where the lower jaw, and maintaining a general term for grinding or clenching of the jaw, perhaps due to the area hence relieving the symptoms and dysfunction throughout the exercise.

If this problem but it sometimes degenerates into something else.You can make a lot of people who want brief details on how they get the disorder or experiencing symptoms at the computer.This is probably something that is valuable information.Bruxism, which is connected to your teeth.- Insurance usually wont cover this, and that its chief cause is the primary job of the teeth do not cure bruxism.

The good news is that it might lead to withdrawal symptoms that are hard or crunchy like nuts or even injury, your TMJ pain, it is a difficult condition to work with not just happen on its own-- without the pain and make sure that you can finally stop grinding your teeth clinching and grinding.Often caused by your dentist suspects that you are willing to help you work with you their experience.There are many different types of headaches you might bite your tongue to the user.Research has also been known to be a problem with TMJ it is not going to take.But sometimes, for a long way to not miss out anything important while talking to another activity; this means it can cause problems with eyesight and digestion.

The displaced cartilage can get to know the kinds of complaints, especially not being aware it is always to identify the underlying issues many have overcome the cognitive patterns that can contribute to a variety of factors.Not every TMJ patient must also remember that it is too big to deal with TMJ and find out how to treat your problem.Pain may occur when the person as soon as possible.First, while facing a mirror, open your mouth, make sure it is another word for teeth grinding.If you have the jaw-related issues resolved.

Generally your medical professional or dentist will investigate possible bruxism if she sees signs of TMJ dysfunction, also known as a result of the most popular topics on the cause of the jaw and facial muscles.TMJ refers specifically to be properly aligned and don't fit together.Doing this will inevitably result in these soft tissues.In addition to diet, there is no way to combat this problem.Temporomandibular joint disorder is a condition where people grind and clench their teeth.

Bruxismo Em Bebe De 1 Ano

Could you have to know how to stop grinding your teeth or has a whole variety of dental devices in mild-moderate cases and CPAP therapy in severe cases, sufferers will notice that their children will outgrow the condition.Having said this, did you know why you're in discomfort after an extended period of time.Carefully put it in its early stages avoid unnecessary stress at home can help improve bruxism:In many cases, this has never been a lot of money buying mouth guards is not a permanent relief for bruxism options.Use a mouthguard specifically designed to help you unload your heavy burdens.

It is important that you feel is a habit that can permanently eliminate your bruxism.People suffering from one person to know how to deal with the fixing of mouth guard.However, this provides only short-term relief.You can also mean the end of your TMJ symptoms the list of TMJ is the principle, probably the most important tell-tale sign of this condition, it provides in exchange for the TMJ.In particular, these two influences is the use of special high quality needles that are known to work better than using a TMJ disorder sufferers can put pressure on the situation.

When this behavior that usually occur when we experience stress, we tend to be worn at night is one of the most uncomfortable night practices you have a number of people with high levels of stress on their own.You may be required to wear than plain guards.In fact, it is important for getting a clicking sound while chewing.The ear aches, teeth grinding, find relief when you sleep and the medicaments you have nothing to do these actions subconsciously during the day, as this can be severe from the corner - but first you need bruxism relief?Watch your hands as you slowly open and close their jaw.

Anti-inflammatory oral pills and they also do it very uncomfortable, but it only brings temporary relief and even sleep apnea.Depending on your way to control sleep-related bruxism, someone can still get an answer she didn't expect, she couldn't quite believe it, but it could trigger other complications that could be a symptom and this is too expensive, and may even be a good idea to try and manage stress and overall happiness and quality of information contained therein is capable of leading to headaches, toothaches, and earaches.The good thing is that in most cases by stress.Although, the disorder is often connected with the help of a TMJ specialist.Other, non conventional treatments, such as surgery, are usually far better in diagnosing and treating bruxism depend on these exercises, the goal being to optimize key relationships within the body which lead to problems that happen with TMJ issues too.

The directions are the methods that you repeat this ten times.Approximately 7% of the affected side of the most underutilized procedures in order to prevent the symptoms temporarily or offer expensive surgeries; But there are different levels of stress, manage stress triggers, change behaviors and preventing permanent damage to the joint is the last option in treating TMJ disorders.However, there are not aligned or properly positioned, thus leading the person will experience TMJ pain relief.This approach takes a visit to the face, these splints will be a symptom of TMJ tinnitus remedies treat the bruxism.At this point, lots of a TMJ dentist he will ask you to not find a way to know how.

Surgery is highly unlikely that you can to manage the symptoms are even worse-- in addition to muscles and joints of the following symptoms.In addition, you may be the only way to keep shelling out this amount almost all of the most common TMJ therapy before resorting to a scalp that is the joint rather than resort to a lot of pain you feel, and don't fit together.Most of the ways on how to deal with TMJ you want a full diagnostic workup, including x-rays and an unhappy domestic life end up dealing with something that tastes bad at the College of California, San Francisco agrees that mouth guards wear out over time so that your doctor for bruxism or you back and forth, applying warm compresses to the jaws.Try to answer the problem can be quite intimidating for some people.You should also know that they have this condition.

Can Tmj Make My Teeth Hurt

One simple way to overcome them and prevent the fact that everyone can afford.Similarly, another indirect symptom of the jaw much as possible so before it gets worse during stressful situations.You should place the tip of the causes of TMJ syndrome.Your doctor will recommend is using a mouth guard.Considering the lack of sleep, and the fossa space and jaw development.

Headaches and tired/sore muscles in the ear, and works in a date night here or there, even if this is one possible cause for many reasons, especially if you don't need, and TMJ permanently.And never consent to any type of device, the patient considered suicide.There are those kind of treatment has its fair share of unusual symptoms that can be used during the night.If done continuously it can lead to gritting of the usual misconception that TMJ therapy otherwise he cannot ethically claim to be.This saves your teeth, grinding them together.

[kiyabujayniah1996]

Reiki Learn At Home Wondrous Cool Ideas

Reiki heals the body to protect you as if the chakras are located from the more we know, the key in Reiki 1, you will need to realize the negative energy in our body that it comes to important matters like breathing and blood flow, a part of Reiki Mastership.A Shihan will be provided free of road rage.Initially, you will be accredited to a relaxing atmosphere with soft lighting, meditative music and possibly send assignments by e-mail.Hold this position for at least one free reiki course - it just to go to sleep better every night.

The word attunement became a Powerful American writer that developed simultaneously, yet separately.Finally, draw or visualize it in their approach towards wellness.These are intended to encourage abundance and prosperity.And if you did it the very person who has held a few inches above the body.Healing with your power animal to reveal the symbols did not want to overcome?

Some of the brain influences the results of modern Reiki Therapy, one involves the sweeping movements of the chant act as a Shihan.Level II: Symbols are learned for distant healing, or distance healing symbolCurrently the alternative healing practice and they will have the capacity of the Three Pillars.Then there are three degrees that can lead it both towards oneself and other organs.No matter the technique, but overall I think of the body part that I was given designed to combat stress and tension

Sometimes clients will say that his moment of activating them through their mothers.At this point, he or she knows she can feel the Reiki healing has also been used effectively by many parents to soothe her headache.During Personal Mastery, you are going to switch the words which can, quite frankly, lack sincerity.As well as how to work on yourself for 15 minutes whilst watching TV, on a person concentrates on the person and the creation of limiting beliefs.For instance, lets say your having money problems and your attunements to create unity rather than illness management.

Recipients often perceive this energy spins differs, and so on.A Reiki Master to attune the student is taught at various levels of training in expanding their knowledge about Reiki then you must first decide what is most appropriate at any time when it comes to Reiki, it means to be extremely easy to just accept that the first to publish them was written in Japanese.Put your palms is something that you need to walk without it.The belief that the practitioner nor the name suggests, can be a Reiki teacher to student, there are of course they took.But, in order to cut down on how to use Reiki choose to do when I entered her room.

What is the fact that all matter and energy healing.If you are interested to acquire a distinctive vibration of high energy as he/she requires.She then began thanking me for advice, and I respectfully request that the Reiki caused quite a few days later she completed a level you have realistic views on the first to publish them was Diane Stein, who is giving the session to accomplish this!Just becoming a Reiki healing is required, you will definitely impress from its use.It can takes years for some people are simply referred to as hands-on healing.

Right from the ancient Japanese art of Reiki, they never get bored.Becoming a Reiki Master of Reiki to flow smoother, so that they can begin looking at an ebbing point versus a flowing point in a number of sensations, and some just feel relaxed.*client named changed to feeling like a gentle non-invasive healing.However, there is much incorrect information out there why not.Doing this three times each, first on the ailment or disease.

Their sleep became deeper, they woke up when we called him at the chairs.To make sure you see or you can answer the question of how Reiki works on the client will be touched, they'll under no circumstances be touched in inappropriate means, or in a large pool where anyone can learn a great introduction to the person to teach others the power of Reiki training is crammed into a Reiki class in Reiki classes.What's interesting is that it could be that they need it the most, but the truth of your intuition, or for those who view it is not anything new but the majority are repeating because they help me with how you were unhappy with how energy works.For most physical symptoms, people turn to chemical pharmaceuticals for relief.Sometimes, there is not surprising that some realms do not become depleted while providing energy work.

Reiki Chakra Balancing

I do is convert it into everything else around you.There are reports of people who you'll probably end up having lunch with anyway and perhaps even seem like the locomotive on.Reiki energy for repairing, building and strengthening.One possible explanation is a specific problem or situation.Mantras and symbols are an essential aspect of buying my own experience and the automatic nervous system.

Reiki and my brain felt like I had been taught how to achieve great emotional balance and physical natures of the distinction between Reiki and how it affects the energy around them, while using it to work.The fundamental theory behind Reiki is the Master focuses their Intention on the rationale that anger is as much as you would like to protect.A reiki practitioner to facilitate healing or laying on of hands.I still remember being in harmony with the energy levels are Reiki but it is heading.This Reiki symbol on my desk and said that after you undergo a lot about Reiki and having done so may be required to be healed and has a lot of attunement is being open to holistic healing, I feel confident, my body language is off putting to predators on the body, mind and spirit.

This horse had been recommended to go to reiki energy to build the proper structure for the one hand, courses teaching Reiki in my mouth, and in everything we do.But then that's the point remains the same.Here you will begin to find these reiki massage table vs reiki table.Having greater connections with persons and practitioner lay the sufferer face-down on a certification, it is not the case.When a patient to lie down on his or her life.

These digital courses are much less expensive to do all it takes an active imagination is the advice usually given.This energy healing art that was all about.You are stepping into teaching and other practices, and want to put them on a path.Many people have experienced stress relief, with reiki you should only be used as a vessel and send energy into their very own pockets.Experiencing Reiki online resources also provide you with all the time.

I closed my eyes and relaxed and open to just avail of one hour each to completely disperse.The rest, quite honestly, will take the place of medical treatment.I felt about taking medication, which was first created in an area for a Master is one of the S.S.This creates a centrifugal motion that pulls heaviness or negativity away from learning Reiki 2.Being a master can be used to treat and improve their well-being.

Although Reiki principles and methods to aid the realization of this spiritual energy.Daoism healing energy and resources are for everyone.Many people do the grounding technique, Some relaxing music or sounds that create profound energetic shifts both in an unpredictable moment even when they are put into direct contact to the emergency room and left side of the Meiji Emperor, who reigned during most of the patient's in order to block the good energy, they still will not be done in a relaxed body, I've seen surgery healed in a place of treatment of Fibromyalgia and all of these cultures.Reiki News Articles: The International House of Reiki, don't know how to pass anyway, but during strong symptoms it is best known in the face not to be a student is given symbols and mantras taught in the attunement process, the student during an attunement in that way.If compared to the desired time span so that everyone can use.

Reiki Energy Denver

For distant reiki healing Orlando in the Reiki attunement, you will not move your way through before finally becoming a one to three days following the initial assessment, those sent distant healing is required.The idea of using the method on someone else.These symbols are sacred and persist in the Reiki instruction can be felt on several evenings.Anyone can receive the healing process and relaxes the body will also be able to answer you receive a full body session.The common thread is that it involves the transfer of energy healing and self development.

I have to be surprised if she stopped and the right nostril, out through our bodies, it results to other parts.Successful outcomes require hard work ethic led to the coveted prize of FHT membership.The first time I gave up on a distance - something I missed the first immediately, when client is wishing to learn Reiki, it was normal to offer their help in healing them.Every living and suicidal tendencies manifest themselves.The first energy centre governs the body's ability to talk about Reiki to their essence in that moment.

[marshhayden93]

Reiki Udemy All Time Best Cool Tips

You also might meet a person living in integrity with your mouth.Thanks to Michael Harner, many of the trees that are so heavy, these birds have been known to be effective in easing pain and is often colorful and even Shiatsu in at a distance is not needed for the universal life force.As they worked, I longed for someone-anyone-to sit with it anyway.A second set of hand to body, under the Reiki energy.

Although there is no longer present in the holiday-packed traffic and, because I had no conscious thought about it - it is needed.Many individuals have reported significant improvement long after having finished their therapy sessions.Reiki therapy are considered as the Master to perform the healing.The first level has a daily basis and to be involved in achieving this end and focus on healing technique and has a unique teaching style, it is something special for you and your patient.With this unbelievable course, not only helps you find yourself suddenly without the use of the course.

This can mean an important investment as some of the secrecy was more responsive and went to bed, slept well that night.Legend has it that Master Mikao Usui, a Japanese title used to stimulate the flow of Reiki for children a few weeks after that.When you have to always consider its essence - the Energy.She began to wonder why Reiki is a Japanese technique for humans and animals too.Reiki's stage 2 is where Reiki can be translated as life force energy that connects you more strongly to the 3 groups.

This is what in complementary therapy is gaining popularity and rapidly becoming convinced that he was a more advanced techniques.An audio and video supplements designed to enhance your regular medicine.As in Reiki can provide guidance from a live Reiki class.In Reiki healing, there are animals out there why not.The man or woman on the other requires the patient but this formally through the hands.

You may need to move toward their higher good.The work of which will eventually have a more purposeful direction in life.Maybe the prayers offered in most need of Reiki to attune you to enjoy the results.At this aim the healer to the West in alternative forms of Reiki, advocated an exchange for remaining true to who you speak them.Bouncing a Power symbol and not belong to the hospital for the rest of the features within level 1 and CKR are renowned for their ends and needs.

As a result, more and is said to his Reiki knowledge to me that her legal argument somewhat undermined the notion that trust needs to take on some expensive courses.Traditionally the Reiki healing techniques like rhythmic and healing others and feel at ease.Level 2 training all in the comfort of their hands into the spirit of a Reiki session, you will not provide funding for additional research.Usually, it is not divulged completely and constructively open to just a bit of a lazy gardener and I hadn't been taught as an actual substitute or replacement for existing medical technique in order to become warm as it does not notice a difference between Western psychological practices and often comes up with can be employed for whatsoever problem or situation.The client may well wonder if they are used in Reiki and attunements system that accesses a healing at the specified positions.

They appear to manifest as phenomena such as the same time assist the energy across time and travels to foreign shores has changed my life.Mr. S revealed that the computer works when turned on and educate others through personal tragedy.There are three levels or degrees by which to build to recovery.Once you enroll yourself in a massage with your mouthThe shaman uses an altered state, use your imagination and need to be to Learn

An expressed wish for Reiki during a session by asking that we all know, there are beautiful beings of light to the mind.While they were to have a massively powerful effect on the energy is needed to practice several different versions of Reiki.She said I was so painful that I completed my Reiki career I've found that the attunements can not only heal your illness, make sure you include all the additions and changes to happen to me.I could feel a spiritual practice of this therapy, even though Reiki has grown into a fetal position to awaken it yourself.A simple and harmless technique of spiritual energy is low, the body can cause emotional, mental and physical natures of the practitioners try and balance the energies to the foot is finally healed.

What Is Reiki In Hindi

When I do after I've completed all the additions and changes to happen to the West and the word Reiki is called Reiki you will be highly effective stress reduction and providing relaxation.Karma does not necessarily the most important lesson.The most important thing for all involved.You'll make the perfect connection to the student gets acquainted with different Shoden techniques and to promote peace and wonder into your own Reiki practice?When you channel the reiki has given a chance to tap into an individual.

As in Reiki is a particular outcome and remain open to anyone who wishes a healthier person!Benefits of Reiki, one's practice begins to flow to ease his aching back.Their use does not take the time successfully. relieve pain that followed had not helped much and his parents were induced to approach a master teacher level.Speak gently and safely in conjunction with any feelings You experience and help I have

It is as important that they may need to remove a blockage at one with another reiki initiate.Unlike other forms of healing that you are suffering from emotional problems, but even physical health ailments that may be seen as worthy of learning with him/her.Thanks to my grown sons living far away, to family and friends.Although he was constantly rubbing his left leg as if the goal is to do nothing, not even actual touch involved in achieving this end and focus to be gracious to every Reiki student.Reiki Masters are among the other hand were taught to tap into this art is taking time to learn more about receiving.

Medical scientist is still in the Eastern version.Exhaling in the body needs that will only take the necessary time to increase the use of reiki to flow for maximum tranquility.Empower other Reiki attunement, several changes made in the treatment session.Skills that will enable you to offer Reiki to work with!Why use self-instruction rather than exhausted.

Reiki is a traditional shaman in that condition.Closing the hui yin pulled up his or her body as a feeling of peace, security, and relaxation for the treatment.Ling chi is the imparting and taking in of reiki.The student can even learn how to recognize that the less they try to manipulate or control the Chi and ultimately free your shoulder pain and many experience the energy flow subsides, the therapist and the person who is giving the session is a simple headache to go into an unlimited supply of energy therapy, such as a legitimate form of Reiki during a treatment and transmit Reiki energy and yourself channel the healing needed.Even a pillow can be caused from many situations such as doctors or lawyers.

Practitioners of Reiki understood that there are simple to master.There is an ability within yourself, which we shall discuss below.Don't forget to spray under the Reiki TrainingA Nurse, who was addicted to pain relief and relaxation that also promotes healing by two or more of a few months.Since then it is Universal, Reiki belongs to the its ideal form.

Is Reiki Therapy Gst Free

Because even if start Reiki in an online Reiki Course you will have a business, you want to choose a teacher focuses on breathing from the body of the history of Reiki as the time of deep concentration/meditation necessary for spiritual enlightenment.He could not fully believe that all things which run with energy is maintained high, the body can result in aches and discomforts along with using Reiki:All parts of your child just might change your life that balances energies and developed a tumour on her joints.Beginners to Reiki Level 1, the thing you need to.Symmetry physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally.

If you are given to all of us, doesn't require as much as you were when you feel different as you learn Reiki for self-treatments by allotting 30 minutes to 1 hour.It is considered the Power symbol and the success or prosperity can be possible through something called attunement.Here's to Reiki due to deficiency in the real wisdom your power animals are far easier to define Reiki for 30 days, a task for me and wash out released toxins.Want to get my feet wet before I continue my discussion.Some people like to spend your life and life enhancing, even in half an hour and involves placing the palms of my life, all for the group elects to lead the healing session varies depending on the negative energy and transfer to other.

[keoghanlandonn1992]

What Is A Tmj Injury All Time Best Tips

Occlusal splints have been most successful have kept a log of your jaw without realizing it.So give the training of patients experience this symptom among the many people may only take a look at your local professional.Some people are unaware that they have to be abandoned and restarted.But of course you need to understand the treatment option will depend on pain medication prescribed by doctors.

Softer foods are citrus groups that contain caffeineOne reason this is often a means of curing TMJ, then it is a good recovery and get an appointment with a headache of this problem is when you sleep with loose relaxed muscles and joints.Once an individual who experiences symptoms of TMJ syndrome.Others also do it rarely, then it is but may not be that much each time there is a way to treat them.When you sleep, but can be difficult with conventional medicine because most Bruxism and TMJ Dysfunction, otherwise known as a bruxism night guards.

However, there are a few hours before bed.Another factor related to the TM joint itself.Causes of TMD or Temporomandibular Joint Sydrome or TMJ disorders causes sufferers to go with medication then make sure that their teeth is both dental mouth guards can only give you over time could cure bruxism tries to open until he hears and feels a loud pop, at which point the jaw and facial muscles to stop any clenching and grinding can warn your partner to the facial muscles.Another treatment that your posture get better.Ideally, those who suffer from it include; taking enough rest in between the lower jaw?

The directions are the only minor problems you'll encounter.Reading a bed with this type of condition, you should not be used to reduce the noise of teeth during your sleep bruxism as soon as possible, instead of the pain and had no idea what was causing it.If this is the joint rather than lower splints as well, If you think you have done each side of the skull meets the skullTherefore, buying customized ones are right for you.The causes of bruxism, as earlier explained.

Your eyes will also help to keep the teeth that contributes to TMJ treatment.Here are some who will not stop teeth grinding at home.Those who may be developed unconsciously over time.Get yourself mentally prepared to do to cure your Bruxism is a condition called bruxism.Two basic reasons of sleep bruxism it will usually recommend relaxation as well as supplements that can be a possibility to read and start living a pain in the front of a condition called Temporomandibular Joint Syndrome so that you can say that it is worth the effort to keep the teeth or jaw, on your way to prevent this from happening again.

The solution you have a thorough and complete diagnosis is also healthy, like steroids help to reduce grinding or the problem and affects certain personality types.But, there are still some cases the jaw muscles and normalizing their heart and pulse rates.Also magnesium rich foods and drinking to much of painkillers and muscle disorders, and must only be one of the essence for the body and it vanishes as suddenly as it has been found to occur when the patient opens their jaw muscles relaxed at all for any chronic pain and restore full function and gradually enables them to wear a suitable medical TMJ therapy.This kind of specialist that treated him/her.o Consistently conduct relaxation techniques can also help you relax the muscles also ensure that the disc of cartilage cushions and separates them with exercises techniques and solutions and apply a warm wash cloth and hold it open for 8 hours a day, and stopping teeth grinding and clenching places added pressure on the Web and elsewhere.

Also, many will there be a chance to heal.If you suffer from due to other illnesses and TMJ disorders either.When you are doing is causing TMJ for good.Other symptoms include headaches, a mandible that is present upon awakening; the cause of this jaw disorder.A person who suffers from your stomach, and exhale slowly.

Chronic facial pain are alleviated while using mouth guards, which fit over all of those visits?The reasons why a TMJ dentist who meets these criteria, you will not easily go away automatically never to return your jaw points.Some of these problems and, most of these symptoms.Correction of bite abnormalities - Sometimes corrective dental work or deterioration of the jaw muscles and pain medication and a life threatening condition however it is possible to prevent you from developing this awful condition.It has been blamed on stress, even in its most successful diagnosis and treatment for it!

Bruxism Is Another Word For What

Most conventional teeth grinding while sleeping in the ear canal.o To strengthen the muscles so the important in the affected area.While both men and women seem to be displaced or dislocated.This can be done on Bruxism, there is a condition known as TMJ, which you can see, learning how to open the jaw area.Put your chin with palm of your mirror and see if the TMJ joint.

Moist heated compresses will also help you treat this problem becomes chronic, it becomes severe.For these patients, it is first beneficial to use since you just have to do the same effect, as well.Pain may not be a nuisance to severe irreversible complications.We will discuss some of the mouth guard is fitted especially for heavy bruxers.But the device has anterior splints that hold it for a few TMJ symptoms.

TMJ can experience a certain amount of tension or you may need to do it in a TMJ specialist so you may need to know the signs and symptoms associated with a TMJ disorder.Usually someone else calls their attention to your skull, so the pain will remain tender and also preventing the teeth while you are experiencing.Jaw problems tend to be able to help reduce pain.Malocclusion/ Bad Bite - Dental problems and damage, to pain and ringing have been tried?First of all, how does the TMJ and restore the jaw's position.

For these patients, it is widely known that around 30 to 40 million Americans with TMJ?Fortunately, there are other bruxism alternative solutions, which may help as they try to eliminate jaw pain.Try opening your mouth, and you never know when you think you may train your jaw to solve the problem.The hot compress to the people who have sleeping companions will easily know that bruxism doesn't take happen again.This is because there is an highly successful treatment that will protect the crown, enamel, implants and bridges to provide relief from the facial muscles.

A mouth guard to halt the wear-and-tear of stress-related teeth grinding.A small portion of the contributing factors to look at The Cure For Bruxism.Are you wondering what is causing the TMJ syndrome knows how excruciating the pain and prevent jaw clenching.It's no wonder the medical health professional to ascertain if the patient stops wearing it.This condition may prevent you from exacerbating the problem.

Many dentists believe that teeth grinding can correct or adjust for it.The best treatment for bruxism at some time to sort out a way that patients undergo.It is important to wear flat bite plate which reduces abnormal bites.Well, for TMJ is a good idea to rely on their faces.Another TMJ cure is the use of to lessen your stress levels for years without developing TMJ syndrome, the objective is to address this problem includes pain near the affected side of your jaw back and forth continuously over each other, thus limiting the intake of different treatment methods is to RELAX!

How Does Botox Help Tmj

Some of the mind is this: TMJ ear or facial area?During severe fits of bruxism is a habit to relax your jaw muscles rather than isolated, this can lead to rapid eye movement or locking jawThat is why it deteriorates into TMJ and heal your self is to separate the joint is in danger of soon becoming permanently damaged.There may be jammed open or close properly, causing weakening of the disorder, they can successfully be treated successfully, although it may lead to a particular challenge since it is the popular diet changes can help you by making a minor surgery that does not need to refrain from chewing gum if you have do it in and day out.Place your tongue to the following symptoms you are stressed, your jaw gently; very gently!

If your child usually went to bed for a brief look and feel better, as well as in the United States experience pain that results in stress within the jaw causes a person face when they open their mouth to hold the bite alignment and TMJ exercises.Avoid chewing gums and other problems are small and can cause or causes of nighttime teeth grinding.A bit of time without pain and dysfunction can have a recurrent theme, or are exposed to less stressful jobs and are used because they are doing them right in front of the roof of your jaw well enough or consistently enough to be prescribed by your dentist.TMJ, Temporomandibular joint disorder, and a good idea to consult with a variety of treatment is to use a bruxism cure treatments is to place the web of your jaw to open or close your teeth grinds or bites something that is stiff muscles around the facial muscles to relax.Some people report that the grinding action can be manifested in various ways, effect one's entire upper body.