#it even says that it's meant for all aroaces in the original post)

[styrofauxm]

On aroace flags...

I want to be very clear, I am not criticizing anyone specific, but rather the current ways of combining the asexual and aromantic flags into a cohesive flag.

But I've had this floating around my head for a while, and I saw a post similar to it today, so I thought I'd throw in my two cents.

Cut because it got long.

In the ace flag, black means asexuality, gray means gray/demi sexual, white is for allosexual allies of asexual people, and purple means community. (I lost the link to the AVEN post, but someone dedicated can find it. Otherwise you can just look up the meanings on the internet to verify).

In the aro flag, the green and light green stripes are for the aromantic spectrum, white is for non-romantic attraction, and black and grey are for the sexuality spectrum. (Post by the creator saying this here: https://www.tumblr.com/cameronwhimsy/102698477928/whoops-yeah-i-just-realised-i-never-actually-made?source=share).

So black, grey, and white all mean different things for each flag, yet in most combination flags, they only appear once. Do they mean what they mean on the aromantic flag or what they mean on the asexual flag?

The light green and green don't have any arbitrary separations for people who do and don't feel romantic attraction, and the grey and black of the aro flag don't have that for sexual attraction either, while the asexual flag does. Cutting out one of the green stripes or moving the black and grey away from each other don't make sense in the context of the aromantic flag.

I've also seen some that add an extra purple stripe. It doesn't mean anything, it's just aesthetic.

Whether or not you like the sunset aroace flag, it is a good example to look at when trying to create a flag to represent aroace people. It keeps the association with asexuality and aromanticism, without using the original colors in ways that don't quite fit. (Color meaning breakdown by the creator here: https://aroaesflags.tumblr.com/post/181034758671/revised-aroace-flag-after-some-conversation-among).

The whole point of having pride flags is to have a meaningful symbol to represent our communities. For aroace people, mashing two together keeps the association with asexuality and aromanticism, but loses the deeper meaning behind each flag.

Honestly, as an aroace person, I think the only way to really design an aroace flag is to depart from the imagery of either flag. That ensures the meanings are solid, and it ensures no one in accidentally excluded (which is, to my understanding, why the sunset flag was created originally - to have a community symbol that included the whole community inherently). But I understand not everyone shares the sentiment.

So, from one aroace person to another, if you are going to design an aroace flag that's based on the ace and aro flags, please keep in mind what those colors mean in the context of each flag, and don't put them in just to have them. And be sure that your design properly includes everyone you are trying to represent.

[fumifooms]

Wait one darn diggity second what’s this about unmarried half-foot women being embarrassing for the family, what’s this about being unmarried as a half-foot being "different [worse than] for other races". Maybe Flertom and Puckpatti’s intensity about finding a husband is the norm, maybe Meijack, despite Chilchuck approving of her disinterest in romance, is the one who’s considered weird by social standards.

Maybe they’re less well-adjusted than I thought. Don’t misunderstand me I’m aroace, but if there’s a lot of societal pressure and it’s considered a failure if you’re not married, it is notable when all 3 of your kids haven’t married past the time that’s expected. For reference adulthood for a half-foot is reached at 14, Chil got married at 13, Puckpatti is 14 while Flertom and Meijack are 16. The other half-foot character we have is Mickbell who is also unmarried, unsurprising considering his situation. I don’t think them not having married is about their family being poorer, if anything I’d think Chil’s family is on the comfier end of half-foot families with the high wages he gets paid with and the nice living conditions we’ve seen (although we don’t know when he started being paid well). We know about Flertom having high standards, but she and Puckpatti are actively looking to date, so there’s something going on here whatever it is.

It is nice that it doesn’t seem like Chilchuck cares at all, he even seems to generally dislike the idea of his daughters dating. I imagine that their mother must have also not pressured them into marrying at all, maybe even encouraged them not to marry if they didn’t have someone, which is sweet. And understandable, considering she might not want her daughters to rush into it and live with…….. Being stuck in an unhappy marriage. And here comes in what I meant when I said well-adjusted, daddy issues. We aren’t shown a lot of Chil’s married life, but I would bet my life on there having been tensions and warning signs. Especially since, since the daughters and Chil hadn’t seen each other since the separation before post-canon, there’s an air of not having been very surprised or panicked about the whole thing: the separation wasn’t unexpected. Having to watch your parents fall out of love and growing up seeing them in a taxing marriage can be hard, and not exactly put you in the mood to try and find romance and marry. Fear of abandonment, fear of intimacy, stunted emotional intelligence, fear of commitment… Oh girlies I am about to extrapolate so much from this

Half-foot society has a lot of coding I don’t have enough specialized knowledge to pin down, but they’re a poor working class people, anglo peasant vibes. They have tightly knit communities, but then the double edge is that if your community has expectations and rules to belong, the pressure will be harsh and it can end up being more isolating if you deviate from it. Marriage historically and in Dunmeshi has a lot of economical aspects, in Laios’ Adventurer’s Bible profile for example dowries are hinted at.

So the pressure to marry might very well originate from the need to bring money in to your family, and to unite families as allies. And from there it grows into an expectation, and thus if they aren’t married it’s "an unmarried woman was deemed unfit by suitors, something with her must be off"/"This woman was unable to provide for her family, she must be a burden on them" which results into the family having a bad reputation. If Flertom says it’s worse for half-foots than other races, the reasons must be either social or economical or both. There’s of course their lifespan being shorter too, so that might play into it, expectations to go about things quickly and to have a fast life cycle and making sure to have kids. As we see with Laios, having kids is a pressure that does exist globally as well. Elves are another interesting example of how familial expectations are like in Dunmeshi with heirdom and whatnot, but free me I just wanted to bring up the possibility of Childaughters being societal misfits and having relational issues.

I will also mention that in a similar way, Chilchuck’s wife leaving him may have damaged the daughters’ chances, in a "what if they’re like their mother, the type of woman to abandon her husband!" way. Chilchuck also has a reputation especially as an union leader, which can paint him as dependable as much as it can paint him as someone harsh and stingy, which would be an intimidating. It’s possible they’re a bit more well-off from the rest of the half-foot community as mentioned, which could add to the intimidating factor or a bad reputation as an overall uptight family or one that has drama. Again, double edge of community being very tightly knit and important, with family as one of its highest values.

[non-sam-aplatonicism]

My take on an Allosexual Aplatonic flag

I know this is the silliest thing to post to a blog about me being non-sam apl, but I think I've said before (or maybe my brain just false memorie'd me again) I still view myself as heavily aligned with aromanticism. As time has gone on the less and less I've identified with asexual as a label, and now I think I'm confident in saying I'm allosexual outside of a non-sam apl context -- all of the posts from International Asexuality Day helped me realize that. It was just kind of an "Oh, I'm distinctly not apart of this group anymore" feeling.

Aannnd then the allosexual apl flag just looks like the aroace flag and I didn't like that because, well...(motions nondistinctly at my username)

So here's my take on a flag for any allosexual aplatonics out there. Anybody who is allosexual and is somewhere on the apl spectrum can use this, regardless of their romantic or other tertiary orientations.

The pink was taken directly from the pink stripe on the original Gilbert Baker pride flag, where it stood for sex and magic. I was initially going to keep the yellow from the alloaro flag, but then read that the yellow there meant the opposite of asexual, so I scrapped it for the colours of the apl flag (shifted a little bit to make them match better.) The lighter pink was initially the same hue as the sex and magic stripe, but I made it a little bit more red to look more like the flesh of certain apples. Anyway, I'd hope that the lighter pink next to the colours of the apl flag would be like a "I can still have an emotionally fulfilled life without friends, and am a whole world outside of my aplatonicism and allosexuality" sort of thing (since it sits inbetween the part of the flag representing allosexuality and aplatonicism. this could both go as a meaning for other tertiary & romantic orientation, or even be things like hobbies and work and such)

[rhondafromhr]

So I started writing that Max and Steph roleswap AU and I wanted to post this little snippet I have so far and hear everyone’s thoughts because I’m not 100% happy with it yet…idk i feel like it might be too exposition heavy if that makes sense?? Like the backstory is important but idk I feel like I just kind of dumped it and maybe could weave it throughout the story better?? Lmk if you have any thoughts :)

Also Max and Richie’s relationship is going to be platonic in this (bc once again I’m weak for aroace Richie and the power of friendship being treated with the same narrative weight as romantic relationships).

Finally shoutout to tumblr user @idk-imrambling-idk who said in the tags of the original post that Max and Steph give sibling vibes in this au because I was like you know what, I love that, yes they do!! And it really inspired their dynamic and relationship in this

Here it is :)

Stephanie learned what it meant to be powerless at the ripe old age of nine. She sat next to her father in the crowd, watching the blindingly bright spotlight shine down upon her mother and beaming with pride as she was crowned Honey Queen. The applause was uproarious, every last townsperson’s gaze fixed solely on her. She’d always known her mom was the sweetest woman in Hatchetfield, but now it was official. Now she had the beautiful, ornate crown upon her head to prove it. As her mother was whisked away to what she assumed was some sort of super special, secret ceremony, her father insisted over her protests that no, they couldn’t go with her, she needed to go home and get to bed. It was a school night, after all, and she’d see her mother soon enough. She didn’t. Her mother never came home that night and with each passing day, Stephanie’s hope that she ever would dwindled even further.

Every woman who’s ever won that pageant has left Hatchetfield and never looked back, but back then, she didn’t know that. She just knew that one day, her mom was there to fawn over her drawings and point out all the little details she liked and put her spelling test up on the fridge and say how proud she was that Steph worked so hard and got more words right than last time and the next day, she wasn’t and there was nothing Stephanie could do about it. She wondered what she did wrong that her mom was so eager to get away from her. To this day, Stephanie doesn’t know where she ended up. She went through a brief phase where she spent hours a day fervently researching online and following every crumb of information she could find, desperate for any answers, but the very few flimsy leads she was able to find turned out to be dead ends. Not long after her twelfth birthday, Solomon told her she really ought to stop digging, because she wasn’t going to find the answers she was looking for and if she did, she wouldn’t be able to handle them. She rolled her eyes at his usual weird, cryptic nonsense, but for once, she didn’t argue with him. She never did figure out how he knew what she was doing. She only did her sleuthing when she was home alone and always made sure to use incognito mode.

As she got older, the list of things she had to do and wasn’t allowed to do and people she couldn’t hang out with grew exponentially. Everything always came back to the next election and how her behavior might reflect on her father. There was to be no hanging out with the smoke club kids, because he didn’t want the public thinking she was some kind of drug fiend (as if they were doing actual drugs. They were seventh graders. They may have upgraded to the real stuff now, but back then, Stephanie’s confident their vices of choice were, in fact, cloves and oregano, whether or not they were aware of it). If there was an option for honors or AP in a given subject, she had to take it, regardless of her interest or aptitude. He didn’t want her looking like some kind of slacker. Ironically, she credits that with how she became one. It was embarrassing trying so hard, only to still struggle to understand the material and receive abysmal grades in return, but it was equally embarrassing to admit to this and ask for help, so she figured the easiest route would be to stop trying. She made sure to keep her grades just barely high enough to keep her dad off of her case, but refused to do anything more. These days, she doesn’t have to sweat it. If she’s really in a pinch, she can just threaten some nerd into doing her homework for her.

As if that weren’t bad enough, the summer before Freshman year, one Greg Jägerman followed in his wife’s footsteps and vanished without a trace. That in itself was nothing out of the ordinary, but it did raise the question of what to do with the son he left behind. Solomon wasn’t doing so hot in the polls and Miss Tessburger decided that taking in the guy’s now-orphaned kid would make Solomon look kind and charitable, two of the last descriptors most voters would apply to him. Of course, nobody asked Steph her opinion. She was just stuck with this annoying pseudo-adopted brother one day and expected to be cool with it. Well, more accurately, nobody cared whether she was cool with it or not. The worst part was that he totally bought into this stupid fake family thing. He still won’t stop calling her sis.

What really infuriates her is that he gets the freedom she’s long been denied. Solomon truly couldn't care less what he does as long as he stays out of major trouble, doesn’t completely flunk his classes and shows up for all the public appearances and family photo ops. To this day, he still calls Solomon Dad as if he has any right to, as if Solomon sees him as anything more than an unfortunate consequence of a bold PR stunt, as if he’s had to put up with a fraction of what Stephanie’s endured from him. Solomon is not his dad and he is not a Lauter, no matter how many people mistakenly call him that. Solomon even praised him once. He came home from his latest lacrosse match and proudly said that they’d creamed Sycamore or whoever. Solomon, nose-deep in the latest poll and survey results Miss Tessburger had sent him, absently said, “that’s nice, son,” and waved him off. Sure, it was insincere. Sure, it was dismissive. But it was still far more than Stephanie had gotten since she was literally nine years old and more than she’s gotten since. It made her blood boil. She’d been jumping through hoops like some kind of goddamn show dog for her father for years and never got so much as one half-hearted compliment. It was just expected of her.

Still, she continued to jump through those hoops. It wasn’t like she had much of a choice and at this point, it was all she really knew, anyway. Unsurprisingly, Solomon still demanded more and just before she went into high school, he decided she was going to do sports. If there’s one defining trait that all of his constituents in town share, it’s their bizarre obsession with high school football, so this was a surefire way to impress them.

“Why do I have to?” she’d protested “Max already plays volleyball and lacrosse, doesn’t that satisfy the sports kid requirement?”

“Stephanie, I’d like to have an intelligent conversation with you. In other words, shut up. You know as well as I do that nobody cares about either of those sports. Clivesdale doesn’t even have a lacrosse or volleyball team and beating them is all these simple-minded hicks seem to care about. If you refuse to bring up your mediocre grades or put your time into any useful extracurriculars or bettering yourself in any way, the least you can do is join the cheer squad. How hard can it be to jump around and do some silly little chants?”

Max was there, too. Of course he was. On the increasingly rare occasions where Solomon was actually home, he was sure to be right there at his side, telling him about his day as if he fucking cared. Calling him Dad as if he had any fucking right to. She didn’t miss the way his face fell ever so slightly when Solomon said that nobody cared about his stupid sports and she couldn’t help but feel smug about it.

“Ha, yeah,” she said with a smirk “volleyball and lacrosse are dumb.”

The brief satisfaction was quickly overshadowed by a more pressing matter. Hell no, she was not going to join cheer. Pep, enthusiasm and silly dance routines aren’t really her style. She wasn’t sure she could do it if she wanted to and she really, really didn’t.

“Well, figure it out,” Solomon told her, looking at her with the usual disdain “it’s either that or football.” He may have said it mockingly, but she decided to take it as a challenge. She breached her own “no putting in more effort than necessary” policy and spent hours a day on the empty football field practicing plays. She’d usually drag Max along with her if he didn’t have practice for whichever one of his unimportant non-sports was in season.

“Hey,” he said during one of these practice sessions as he threw an admittedly decent spiral, his signature dumb, goofy grin on his face “I’ve been thinking about trying out, too. It might be kinda fun to be on the team together.”

She scowled. “No,” was her only response “just shut up and throw the ball, okay?” This was going to be her thing, damnit. He wasn’t going to invade it like he did everything else in her life. He did as she asked and never brought it up again.

She spent hours more at the gym, doing hard cardio until she was as sweat-soaked as that annoying weeb kid she saw around school sometimes and pushing herself to her limits strength training. It all paid off when the day of tryouts arrived and she blew everyone away with her athletic prowess, earning the position of star quarterback. That alone would have been great publicity and the fact that she was a freshman and the first girl ever to make the team in any position were the cherry on top. It spoke volumes that Solomon didn’t have anything negative to say, although he didn’t offer any praise, either.

If nobody could stand up to her before, they really couldn’t now. She wasn’t just the mayor’s daughter anymore. She was the star football player and with every victory she helped them score, especially against Clivesdale, the teachers and the principal became less and less likely to discipline her if anyone complained of her so-called bullying. It wasn’t as if they could do much before, but now they didn’t even care to try. With that, her iron grip over the school was secured and she’s thoroughly enjoyed it ever since. She still can’t do anything about her mom walking away or her dad treating her like some kind of accessory whose only use is to make him look good to potential voters or her stupid not-brother encroaching on her life and taking everything that’s rightfully hers, but she can maintain the delicate balance that is the high school hierarchy she’s created and bring order to Hatchetfield High. Really, she’s doing them all a favor. They don’t know what’s good for them and without her, it would descend into chaos.

Max slides into his seat in AP Calc with seconds to spare before the bell rings. He’s slammed two of those vile tasting sugar free energy drinks and he’s praying they’ll kick in soon.

“Alright, we’re going to have a pop quiz today. Hope you’ve been hitting the books, Mr. Lauter,” Miss Mulberry says. He doesn’t bother correcting her. Maybe if he could wear his letterman that has “Jägerman” embroidered on it, people wouldn’t make that mistake so often, but he’s not allowed to. The letterman jacket is Steph’s signature look. Not even Kyle and Jason get to wear theirs unless it’s a game day and they’re her closest friends. Max doesn’t even get that privilege, so he settled for a navy blue flannel with a tiny nighthawk patch poorly sewn into the pocket and his letterman hangs untouched in his closet. Sometimes, he doesn’t mind being called Max Lauter, even if it sounds a little off. Sometimes, he wants to believe that’s what he is. Other times, he wishes people would get it right. That’s the least of his worries right now, though. His chest feels so, so tight and a wave of nausea overtakes him and makes him wonder if ingesting so much caffeine and chemicals was a wise idea. He’s screwed. He can barely pass a test in this class when he has time to prepare and sacrifices several nights’ worth of sleep to study. He shouldn’t even be here. He knows he’s kind of dumb. Stephanie gleefully reminds him on a regular basis. Solomon doesn’t vocalize it, but sometimes Max will say something to him and he’ll just give him this look as if he’s just uttered the stupidest, most incomprehensible words ever spoken, then shake his head and go back to ignoring him. He’s always had a lot of trouble in most subjects, but math is by far the worst. Realistically, remedial algebra would be more his speed, but it wouldn’t be very becoming of a sort-of Lauter. Solomon took him in when he had nowhere else to go. He’s been a lot nicer to him than his own father ever was. He figured the least he could do is make him proud, but so far, that plan has backfired tremendously. Nobody’s going to be impressed with the D plus that he’s clinging to for dear life and can still feel slipping through his grasp.

He glances to his left and sees his neighbor calmly reach into his backpack and pull out his pen and calculator. The sheen of sweat on his forehead would suggest that he’s almost as nervous as Max is, but his demeanor radiates confidence and excitement. Max wonders why that guy wears so many layers if he’s always so sweaty. They’ve been in classes together since the first grade, but they’ve hardly spoken two words to each other. Max has, however, watched his hand eagerly shoot up whenever Miss Mulberry asks a question. He has watched him answer every equation with ease, solving them without fail, even when it all looks like gibberish to Max. If anyone can help Max out of this jam, it’s this guy. He has no real reason to, but Max supposes it can’t hurt to ask. What’s the worst that could happen?

“Hey,” he whispers “Shitlips, right?” He immediately winces. Fuck, he did not mean to say that. That’s how Steph and her friends always refer to him and he let it slip without thinking. Richie turns to glare at Max, clearly not amused.

“Sorry,” he says sheepishly “I meant Lipschitz. Richie Lipschitz, right?”

“Yeah,” he says, still a little irritated “what is it? We’re about to take a test.”

“It’s just that, uh, we’ve been in school together for, like, ages and I just realized I’ve never introduced myself. I’m Max.”

“Yeah, I know, Max Jägerman. The mayor’s kid. Stephanie Lauter’s brother.”

“She doesn’t like me reminding people, but yeah,” Max replies with a self-deprecating chuckle “I feel kinda bad now. I called you Shitlips and you got my name right on the first try. A lot of people think it’s Lauter.”

This gets Richie to crack a faint smile. “Yeah, I always remembered it because it sounds like Eren Yeager.”

“So, you ready for this test?” says Max with a sheepish grin “‘Cause I’m really, really not. Like, nothing in this class makes even a little bit of sense to me. I’m one hundred percent going to fail. Unless you help a bro out.”

“Oh, we’re bros now?” Richie says with a raised eyebrow.

“Sure,” Max says “we’re Nighthawks, right? We gotta stick together.”

“But won’t we get in trouble?”

“Not if we don’t get caught,” Max says “rules were made to be broken.”

“Fine,” says Richie “I’m willing to tilt my paper slightly so you can see it better. Try to keep up, though, I’m not waiting to turn in my test so you can finish copying. That’ll look suspicious.” That much is true. Richie’s always the first person to turn in his test in this class, usually by a substantial amount of time. “And don’t be super obvious about it,” he adds.

“Really?” Max says, his face lighting up in a way that he rarely allows it to “thanks, dude, I owe you one!”

[scribe-of-maat]

Canon Yangchen liking Kavik Moments

On Yangchen:

I'm glad you asked, @arcadialedger. Important bits bolded.

For full context, the comment above is in response to a comment I left on a post talking about an answer F. C. Yee gave in an interview. I have no issue at all with seeing Yangchen as aroace but Yee himself says that that's not what was written, even if the interpretation is valid in his eyes upon his review of his own work.

So, what WAS written, then? The Dawn of Yangchen is a 324 page book, at least the US hardcover version is, and even before the halfway point there are multiple instances of Yangchen being attraced to Kavik (and many, MANY more of Kavik being attracted to her in return but we're gonna stay on topic)

Specifically, towards the end of the chapter Falling Leaves, on page 74 of the US hardcover version, Yangchen is on the verge of one of her mental backslides into her past Avatar lives, and you know what saves her? Memories of Kavik. Her holding hands with him for a long time, her thinking he had nice teeth. It's her connection to him, fleeting as it was at that time, that was strong enough in her mind to anchor her to her reality.

Then, in the chapter Reading Leaves, on page 100 of the US hardcover version she straight up says that Kavik is "quite nice to look at". This is coupled with the shopkeeper treating them like a romantic couple the ENTIRE time.

A short time later in the chapter Making Ready, on page 115 towards the end of their private ride through the skies, Yangchen is watching Kavik love flying and says his elation makes her feel warm. And then she immediately follows this up by saying she likes things that make her feel warm.

Page 118 of the US hardcover version, Yangchen makes note of the way the sun highlights Kavik's facial features, saying he has "fine cheekbones".

That's all of Yangchen's canon Yangvik moments that were explicitly not platonic. The rest of this is gonna be me musing on the nature of fandom, so proceed at your own risk.

The original poster and the commenter I put this together for both read the book and somehow came away with the opinion that Yangchen shows no interest in anyone. Yee says he didn't write Yangchen as aroace and that somehow proves that he meant for her to be aroace.

I've already stated this before, but it bears reiterating here for emphasis: we wouldn't be having this conversation if Kavik was female or pale. Anyone who's read this far knows that characters have had massive ships launched on far less or even literally nothing if the characters tickle the fancy of That Part of fandom.

But because he doesn't, Yangchen is the Avatar people have decided is actually not interested in anyone's company. The only way you can read this book and think Yangchen doesn't show interest in anyone is if Kavik doesn't count.

[web-novel-polls]

Hey geniunely, jiang cheng from mdzs is explicitly homophobic, rather than ace-coded, he doesn't stay single by choice but was blacklisted by matchmakers after he was rude to the women too many times. He also yelled at the gay couple who were paying respects to the people who raised one of them saying 'they were dirtying the place' and in his explicit thought process he's disgusted by them 'two men hugging like that was abnormal' in his perspective, he's also fine with hetero relationships, including his sister's marriage and his own.

Hey, genuinely, this isn't the place. The reason a lot of people submitted Jiang Cheng is because they connected with him as a character or the feelings he has about romance. There's a ton of adaptations of the original novel, including an MDZS Q episode, I believe, where the entire joke about him "getting a wife" was that she didn't exist. While some viewers took that as him not wanting romance at all, I assume you took / would've took that differently.

We can have a conversation about how everyone has interpreted different aspects of the novel & Jiang Cheng himself, but only if you can respect that when I, personally, read the novel, I related to him and his experiences due to my aroace-ness & own personal experiences, not because I think it's okay to be homophobic. Or that I viewed him as homophobic. And I'm working under the assumption that most, if not all, the people who voted for or like him as a character have similar reasons.

I have very clearly stated I do not want to have this conversation on this blog or in an accusatory manner. I have also stated that "Anti-Propaganda" is not allowed multiple times, and if it wasn't clear, I consider this "Anti-Propaganda." By answering this ask, I am forcing the people following this blog to listen to someone talk badly about a character they (probably) like when they have not followed for that reason, which for a lot of people, can be upsetting. It's not my or your responsibility to make sure they know how JC is viewed or even how he was originally meant to be portrayed.

I will only respond to this message since it sounds like you came from someone I had to block for spreading anti-propaganda and may not have realized why it's not allowed here. If you do want to discuss more or send posts, respectfully, you can message my alt @incorrect-web-novels, but again, I do not want to have debates on this blog.

[Please do not start arguing in the notes of this post. I am answering this to prevent future debates. I want anyone who sees this post to assume the best possible faith interpretation for everyone involved. Go submit stuff. Drink water. Hide this post if you have x-kit.]

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

s2ep3 glaciator

ah an episode for the marichat shippers. actually, i guess for all the love square shippers except for ladybug and adrien (whatever that ship name is called, i've forgotten--no wait, is it ladrien?)

anyway it was a dumb episode. but andre is the most french character i have ever seen lol. i unironically love how he mostly talks in rhymes. i'd sure like to see what kind of ice cream he'd give me, an aroace.

but anyway, the fact that adrien lies to his friends and ditches them to plan a "romantic dinner" with ladybug, showing that chat noir doesn't listen to ladybug really annoyed me. like plagg is right! she said she had other plans, she was letting him down gently. and he completely ignores her!! and then he's hurt by her???

like i guess i'm okay with him putting his feelings aside to be able to deal with glaciator, bc that's the most mature thing chat noir has ever done to date, but it feels hollow bc chat noir doesn't listen to ladybug. and adrien is convinced that he still has a chance--that she'll just change her mind about him despite telling him outright that she loves another boy and only sees him as a friend. it gets extremely weird after a while, and steers far too close into very worrying behaviors.

and his heel-face-turn doesn't feel earned. like i was annoyed at first that he just put his feelings aside so quickly.

but i was also annoyed with the whole set-up of why he was annoyed. i had a reason i didn't like his sudden shift, but it's gone from my brain, so i'll move on.

the thing is, what really frustrates me about the love square is how much it doesn't work. adrien doesn't listen to marinette. chat noir doesn't listen to ladybug. and marinette gets too flustered around adrien to properly pay attention to what he's saying. like maybe it's just me being an adult, and this being a kids' show, but it is annoying that they're "meant to be" when they can't even communicate. communication is key to a good and strong relationship. not feelings. not destiny. communication!

i hate to say this, but there is a universe where i could see the love square working in a way that doesn't feel contrived and hinges on the fact that they always talk past each other. but under better writers. in a show with a solid writing team, i could actually see the set-up working really well. bc miscommunication is a common trope used to create drama. i don't prefer it, but that doesn't mean it can't work under the right--or write, get it?--circumstances.

likewise, marinette being a dick sometimes is fine narratively speaking. that's allowed, that's fine. it creates conflict and shows that she's flawed. but under this set of circumstances, i found it really frustrating that 1) she doesn't want anyone knowing she has a huge crush on adrien even tho everyone knows and 2) that's the set-up to her being a dick.

and listen, under better writers, i don't think it would've bothered me that much. points 1 or 2. bc ppl do do weird, irrational, and downright mean things when they're stressed or scared. but again, adrien doesn't listen to marinette, and everyone knows she likes adrien anyway. why try to hide it?

i mean i know why. i saw the post about the creator apparently stating somewhere that the reason she gets so flustered about adrien is because she confessed her crush to kim once (wow, real original, put the two asian people together bc they're both asian) and apparently got embarrassed by chloe. but, and i cannot stress this enough, the audience doesn't know that at this point. so we have no idea why she acts the way she acts, nor why she doesn't want ppl to know (even tho they already know!!).

i don't know, i just feel like i'm criticizing things that can't actually be criticized, bc in a better written show, i could see them working. unfortunately for me, this is not a better written show. it's barely a show.

[eemoo1o-animoo]

for the ask game, perhaps N? and/or P?

Ask me stuff

This took so long to answer! I’m so sorry for the wait. And the links. And the tangent. Aahsbhdb

N – Name three things you wish you saw more of in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice):

This is tricky! I tend to just be like “Augh I wish there was more of that” and then forget all about it. I guess I’ll try thinking of things in the fandom and not in the canon material? Hm – tricky.

Black Butler fandom – I want more aroace William, or at least ace William, representation. I don’t want him shipped with Grelle, I want them being BFFs. *Pointing with judgement* Let them crack open a bottle of wine and/or whiskey by the fire after work and talk about nice, idle things, like their sonboy Ronald (who’s pawing at the babygate like the sad goldendoodle he is because he wasn’t allowed in due to his alcoholism).

Black Butler canon/fandom – I want Snake to speak for himself. Like, either in fanfiction or — more preferably — canon, where he at last breaks and, against the opinions of his snakes, goes “Fuck you, Ciel!” and then full stop. No “says Emily” or “exclaims Oscar”. Nothing. It’s meaningful. Poignant. You can tell that Snake is really hurt about having his found family lie to him so easily, to be betrayed by his second family after losing his first. This is Snake, even if it’s just for a moment, talking for himself. Poor Snake :(

Black Butler fandom – I want more creepypastas / grimdarks / etc.. Plain and simple, it’s meant to be a dark, perhaps horrific at times, franchise and so where are the creepy one shots? The “The Woman In Black” parodies? The subtly dark pieces where Ciel is stuck in an endless game of fleshy marionette for Sebastian’s own amusement? Where?

Bonus:

Sk8 the Infinity fandom/canon – I want more Adam-facing-consequences fics (and hopefully canon content in the upcoming season two), and Tadashi and Miya interaction, because those two look related and hardly interact in canon. I’ve only ever come across one (platonic) fic of them on AO3. One.

P – Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas):

Oh, this is tricky! I don’t think I think of many AUs? At the very least they’re fleeting and / for one shot purposes as opposed to a full-fledged universe? (Alternatively there’s also an idea I had of making a book of rarepair scraplets vaguely set in the same universe for the reader to piece together, like a one shot where Soma, Lizzie and Sieglinde are paired together “trying to get back to ‘x’” and Soma has to carry Sieglinde because her spider legs are broken and Wolfram is nowhere to be found.)

So seeing as you told me about your Snake/Edward / Sieglinde/Lizzie Friendship is Tragic-esque AU I’ll go ahead and state my Fallout Equestria-type one (why did I need brony comparisons for that?) that was kind of eluded to in this post (which is also kind of inspired by this post and its reblogs).

So in the post it was inspired by, I discussed if “shinigami and grim reapers” were different, and that “shinigami” were like “the original grim reapers” (don’t think of them like those things from Death Dote, but rather like The Exterminators from Hazbin) and that the redemption that the reapers work towards is actually fake, just a rumour used to keep them in line and then used as the excuse when reapers go “missing” (aka. the “Higher Up”, so to call them, of the original shinigami and/or older reapers that are in-the-know) to make way for newer reapers when Ole McLimboville becomes overcrowded (which it will as time progresses from the canon’s 1889 into modern day, as per real life suicide stats).

With my theory preluded, the AU would start off with Will’s “promotion/redemption” (#2 from (x)) (as it is known outwardly by the other reapers), but as the numbers begin to spike, a purge starts by the Higher Up / shinigami and Grelle and Ronald make it out after Grelle’s seen Othello die protecting her (a point which will later be paralleled when Grelle then does so for Ron), and go looking for the Undertaker, in case he knows what’s going on (after all, he and Othello are the same age-ish and Othello told them to find him).

I’d also thought about a possible, background Grelltaker flirtation, but that point can be ignored for now. I think if this is the case then Undertaker dies in front of Grelle rather than Othello, who, in this case, she just knows died? Also an point where Ron and Grelle begrudgingly take r!Ciel along with them (if he’s still alive / existing … he can be written out easily, though, I just remember him being a part of my original rough idea), and then it’s later just Ron looking after him after he and Grelle are separated (I’m still unsure whether a fakeout death is in order, or too cheesy to be worked into the plot well enough).

Essentially, it’s just Ronald then — as per his and Grelle’s plan after talking with the Undertaker — looking for a means to summon a demon (whether this will be Sebastian or not is undecided, though is the most likely because… why would I make an OC for something that isn’t TSoGtR? Really, now.) as to try and get an equal footing in the fight against the original shinigami (and the reapers in allegiance with them as part of the Higher Up’s council… as guides to the to-be ‘redeemed’, or even some of the redeemed themselves).

Perhaps there’s also a twisted element from the Higher Up like “You’re finally getting what you came here for/what you wanted, and yet you still fight it?”, when — on the reapers’ side of things — it’s actually because they want to avenge their friends for dying in massacre, so dishonourably (in some cases), and that they know that if they lose / give up, this will only go on and on, until it eventually happens again.

It’s an AU I definitely haven’t thought of in a while 😅 so trying to remember the better half of it was a bit of a struggle, but I enjoyed doing it! It’s a fun idea that I hope to revisit (though most probably will not, as I suck at action scenes / sequences / drama, so it would most likely turn out slow, and corny when it picks up pace, with plenty of emotional moments and monologues but not enough action/fighting).

Thanks for the ask! I enjoyed replying to it (though it took me, like, an hour to, by god).

[communicationandconversation]

Ruthless blocking as self-punishment

CW: Extended mentions of aphobia and transphobia, very brief mention of ableism, general negativity around the internet and what could potentially be considered self-harm (deliberate exposure to upsetting materials).

You know how a lot of people say getting into arguments with trolls on the internet does nothing to change the troll's mind and is just detrimental to your mental health in the long run? I'd like to take that a step further if that's alright.

(Disclaimer: this isn't really focused on language but I will be focusing a lot of my experiences as a queer person and disability to some degree as well. It's also not me telling people not to block people, it's mainly me talking about my own experiences in hopes other people might be able to relate.)

Between my tumblr and twitter accounts I have over 800 people blocked. Some of the numbers may be a bit off given the amount of bots and people deactivating their accounts over the years but it's still a lot! The internet is a divisive place and everywhere you turn there's an argument you can join a side in. But, at the same time, it can also be incredibly easy to cultivate bad habits as a result of all of this discourse.

I originally joined Tumblr in 2016 as an aroacespec young person. Other people on those spectrums who have been here that long are probably plainly aware where I am going with this, but it was not a good time to be aroace on the internet then, especially when you're just starting out in those spaces. Arguments around "cishet aceys" taking up too much space in the community and giving it a bad rep with our microlabels and flags was rife. A lot of our culture was kept quieter and quieter - the rings, the cake, the dragons - because it was considered too cringy. "Mogai hell" was enough of a phrase to send anyone packing.

So what do you do when it feels like people on the internet hate your existence? You try to fight it or barracade yourself in. Arguing or blocking, both have their merits and downfalls. When you're arguing with people about belonging in a space, chances are that the person you're arguing with won't change their mind; if anything, they're just going to dig their heels in further or twist your argument to support theirs. But at the same time, there is a chance that other people with the same identity and/or experience will see you fighting and feel less alone.

On the other hand, blocking takes away some of the satisfaction on both sides. People trying to get a rise are just getting ignored rather than recieving attention, good or bad, but you're also still aware that they're out there on the internet saying all of these horrible things, even if you yourself can't see them. For some, this is where the cycle ends, but I tried to take it even further, even if I didn't argue with anyone at any point.

"Ace discourse" had taken over all of the main tags, plus a few (see "Mogai hell") were even more direct in showing you how much people hated your aroacespecness. So, I would go on those tags frequently, find those blogs saying horrible things and go through their posts, blocking other people they reblogged from and then blocking them at the end. I told myself it was a good thing. It meant I was becoming increasingly aware of all of the main aphobic talking points and was also preemptively blocking blogs before I could come across them naturally (despite the fact I might not have come across them at all if I hadn't actively searched them out). It didn't help though. There are always more blogs to block and always more hateful talking points to come across.

You know when they have those episodes of tv shows where people think they want their friends/family/partners to be completely honest with them about everything and then the other person says something that annoys them and it just makes the person who wanted that honesty feel more insecure with themselves? It's kind of like that. It just feels your head with people who don't deserve to be there rent-free, while they have no idea you even exist and wouldn't care if you did or not. People don't want to feel like they're being ignorant but honestly there's so much hate in the world already that living life without also harming yourself is more radical than scrolling through posts on the internet with the intention of blocking every single person who's written one.

It's easier in some cases than others. I see a lot less aphobia nowadays, probably both from me not actively seeking it out and from Tumblr culture moving past it being such a popular form of "discourse". I also have a rule for myself that I will scroll past any form of AITA reddit post that has mentions of autism or other disabilities in the title because the chances of seeing people being ableist on there just aren't worth it.

But at the same time I and other people I follow on Twitter do a lot of work around the rise in transphobia, so even tweets I encounter around trans joy at the moment are bombared with TERFs and other transphobes kicking up a fuss in the comments. Once again people are dedicating so much time to hating a group that just wants to live life happily and it's kind of pathetic. Part of the reason I wrote this though is because I can feel myself slipping back into those same unhealthy routines more and more, since it's so easy to click on a tweet, go to the comments or quote retweets and just start scrolling and blocking.

So in case anyone else has been having the same troubles, hello! You deserve much better than this and if it's not for work I'd advice moving away from following accounts that focus on the doom and gloom of prejudice for a bit. Follow some cute animal accounts, artists or silly novelty accounts! If you use apps rather than websites for social media, don't be afraid to have daily time limits on them, or move to browser-only so they're more of a hassle to get to everytime.

Constant negativity isn't a viable way to live and there's a difference between ignorance and healing. I'm wishing you all the best and hopefully we'll all be able to come out of this on the other side healthier and happier than ever before. Much love! <3

[banjomelodies]

Genuinely despise people who just hate on shippers for no reason other than "they're ruining platonic relationships" or "they're turning everyone gay".

Nobody is stopping you from seeing this relationship as strictly platonic, or even seeing this character as straight. Shipping is for fun, and, guess what, friends to lovers is one of the most popular tropes in the shipping community. It's genuinely not hurting anyone that a group of people think Razor and Bennett could be a cool couple. Platonic relationships are allowed to exist, and I definitely think platonic relationships shouldn't immediately be romanticized, but dear lord shipping is not as deep as people make it out to be. Ships, for the most part, are all fanon, absolutely none of them would be in the game or show they originate from for the most part. They're just meant to be fun, a concept, or something that makes someone happy.

As for the making everything gay thing.. While, yeah, straight people definitely do make up the majority of the real world population, these are places of fiction. If people want more representation in media that's presumed straight, then let them have it, it's genuinely not hurting you and you'll very likely rarely interact with the content including it anyway. The only times I see it as bothersome is when the original hints to their sexualities are messed with. Eleven and Mike from Stranger Things are good examples. Both were in a hetero romantic relationship, but that's commonly stripped away from both characters and they're headcanoned as gay (and in Elevens case, aroace) instead. Nothing is saying they can't be queer or they can't be interested in the same sex, but canonically they were dating and neither seemed slightly uncomfortable with it. I get it, you ship Byler or Max/Eleven or Eleven and nobody, but completely erasing the romantic relationships they already had (unless done in AUs where the original relationship never happened) in favor for those pairings just always came off as strange to me personally. But I'm also not going to go out of my way to comment dumb shit like "MIKE IS STRAIGHT!!!iiiiIi!!" On any post that has him paired with a dude. That's childish and dumb and people deserve more respect than that. I could really care less if people want to ship Mike with other men as long as it isn't illegal.

Opinions can exist, people can have different views on a characters relationship and sexuality journey, but it really depends on if you're respectful about it that'll make it to where your opinions won't be argued with. And that goes to both sides.

[twyisontheline]

Now this caused such a domino reaction in me and triggered a whole text post about one of my headcanons. So, headcanon talk! If you are interested in some angst and some aroace Alastor, keep reading.

I know i am overthinking a little cute animatic BUT hear me out. Aside from how i adore Alastor's expressions in this. This is perfect for one of the flavours of Radiostatic i didn't write my hc about yet.

So i guess the lyrics originally are meant in the classic allo "I am not in love with you yet but i can see it happen, maybe" but what if we have internal-angst-about-his-aromanticism!Alastor here.

Alastor has never felt romantic attraction or feelings towards someone, in his human life or demonic death-life-whatever. Now, with how strong amatonormativity is, he did try. He knew (thought) he was supposed to. It never worked. He reached the conclusion that he is fucked up. When he starts killing people, it almost makes sense - he is a psychopath, he is fucked up, that must be related to not being able to love how other people do. How his mother would want him to love. He feels shame and guilt, even if he tries to push it all back down and tell himself that others are weak because they feel so desperate with their love interests and it is something he would never want. And it is something he doesn't want. But society tells him it is something that makes one's life complete and makes you happy and fulfilled and he wonders. Is he broken in a way that prevents him from experiencing something that could be amazing?

Then he dies, and overall, life gets kinda easier. In the whole depravity and anguish and fucked-upness of Hell, there isn't an ideal happiness to wonder about. There isn't a society wanting you to marry and have kids and be normal and quaint. He can embrace being fucked up.

Then he meets Vox. And slowly, but surely, the TV Demon finds a place in his heart. It's not unusual - Alastor did feel affection and platonic love for people before, he knows he is able to feel that. And it has never been an issue that he doesn't feel romantic love, since none of his friends has ever really wanted that kind of relationship with him.

Until it becomes an issue. Until he realizes that Vox has feelings for him. Feelings that are romantic. That kind of love that he, Alastor, is not able to feel. And this opens the wound again. His fucked-upness could very well make him lose Vox. He doesn't want to lose their friendship - Vox gets him and spending time with him is pleasurable in an unique and special way, and no one else gives him that kind of joy.

So he thinks: "I can make myself love him." He forced himself to be many things in his life and death, he won't let a weakness, a fault, a lack-of-ability, mess up with his goals and with what he wants. He is not the weak powerless boy he once was in life. He is a powerful Overlord. He takes what he wants. If learning to feel romantic love is what he needs to do to obtain what he wants, he'll do it.

So he tries, and lies to himself a bunch of times in the process, but he has a lot of insight in this headcanon, he knows himself pretty well, so he knows, deep down, he is failing. And he sees it as that: a failure. So the mix of shame and guilt that is reappearing like an emotional flashback of his human days mixes with the shame of not being able to do something. Of being powerless in front of his own faults.

Fluff ensuring after all the angst could be that he finally confesses all this to Vox in a mental breakdown scenario - cause we know Alastor loves to freak out dramatically when he feels powerless - and Vox is like: "Man, calm down, it's not that big of a deal. I am not exactly thrilled at the idea you don't reciprocate my feelings but the idea you have to fake stuff with me and you tried so hard to be something you are not is even more upsetting. …Plus kinda flattering, tbh, but let's not digress. What i am saying is, you don't have to do it. I am not going to end our friendship over it."

(And idk, Vox has some vague-time-appropriate knowledge about queerness that is more than Alastor has, because Vox is queer and unlike Alastor who doesn't register most of Sinners as not-entertaining-enough and avoids any place that has a even remotely sexual-relatedness, he actually goes out and talks to people and did talk to people while figuring out he was queer. So we can insert here a speech by Vox about sexual/romantic orientation not being an illness etc etc with a bit of backstory about Vox being queer in the fifties too.)

AGHH I FINALLY FINISHED THIS AND POSTED IT ON TIKTOK! if this flops im reposting without the cinema-like effect but HJSJSJSJSDKD PLS GO CHECK MY TT OUT CUZ I PLAN TO MAKE MORE ANIMATICS LIKE THIS IN THE FUTURE!

[aplatonic-alpaca]

So I've recently discovered the aplatonic spectrum and wonder if I might be aplspec? I do feel close to the friends I have and will miss them, and as I'm aroace, I do put emphasis on my current friendships. I definitely feel some platonic attraction towards them, but I find it hard to connect to new people. I do want more friends and I find it easy to talk to strangers and be friendly, yet when I think about it, 1/2

I honestly can't tell if I ACTUALLY want more friends or if I just want social interaction. Also the fact that apparently platonic attraction is when you want a specific person to be your friend, not just friendship in general, which throws me off a bit lol. I don't often feel that way towards specific people. And, at the same time, I can't help but wonder if this is just a result of some undiagnosed mental illness I have, so that makes it more complicated. Any thoughts or advice? 2/2

(Kind of an addition to my previous 2 asks, but also it's own thing so feel free to post separately or not) One thing I do want to add is that I get really uncomfortable with people I barely know calling me their friend or people asking if they can be my friend. Usually I'm only comfortable calling someone a friend if I've spoken to and connected to them for a long time. Is that something often experienced by aplspecs?

Sorry this took me so long to answer!

I'm gonna break apart a few lines and give my thoughts!

As always, other aplatonics are welcome to chip in too!

I can't help but wonder if this is just a result of some undiagnosed mental illness

First I want to say that... having a mental illness, or being otherwise neurodiverse, doesn't disqualify you from being aplatonic. A lot of aplatonics are neurodivergent in some form and have it affect or even "cause" their aplatonicism. The original coiner of the term "aplatonic" was neurodivergent!

It's entirely up to you if you want to (1) share that you are neurodivergent, (2) take the aplatonic label or not, and (3) share that you are aplatonic. Labels are tools meant to help you and are not required in any way, and no one is entitled to know any aspect of your identity. This goes for every label and identity, and I just want to make this clear right off the top. /gen

I do feel close to the friends I have and will miss them (...) I definitely feel some platonic attraction towards them, but I find it hard to connect to new people.

Maybe look into the term Demiplatonic?

Demiplatonic is where you only feel platonic attraction for people once you've formed a bond / friendship with them, and don't feel that attraction before that bond. Just like demi-aro and demi-ace, there's no required time limit for the bond, just whatever and whenever you deem is a platonic bond.

Also the fact that apparently platonic attraction is when you want a specific person to be your friend, not just friendship in general, which throws me off a bit lol. I don't often feel that way towards specific people.

And greyplatonic is a bit more open in its definition but it describes rare platonic attraction. We don't really know yet what the "average" amount of platonic attraction is, so you kinda just have to go based on your own experiences and perceptions of how those around you view friendship.

I'm greyplatonic and I actually relate to a lot of greyromantic and greysexual experiences, just swapping out the romantic and sexual attraction they mention for platonic attraction instead. I'm also apl-spike and I relate to arospikes and acespikes, too.

So maybe that could help you as well? Looking at and comparing experiences to arospecs and acespecs? It probably would work for the other aplspec identities too, since they all use the same aspec prefixes.

(Btw, Greyplatonic can also be used as an umbrella term for any other apl identity on the grey areas of the spectrum.)

One thing I do want to add is that I get really uncomfortable with people I barely know calling me their friend or people asking if they can be my friend. Usually I'm only comfortable calling someone a friend if I've spoken to and connected to them for a long time. Is that something often experienced by aplspecs?

I'm not sure how common it is but I have heard other aplatonics say that before!

The aplatonic person who helped me realize I was aplatonic actually mentioned something like this! I can't find the original post right now, so I think it was a sort of untagged vent post... But from what I remember it was basically them saying that a coworker called them a friend despite never interacting or speaking with them outside of work, and the apl was pretty taken aback and uncomfortable by them labeling their relationship as a friendship. To the apl, they were just coworkers that talked at work, with nothing deeper to it nor any desire to be.

I know that platonic / plato repulsion is a thing, like romance repulsion and sex repulsion. It's not always a feeling of disgust, but sometimes a disconnect or aversion, so that term could probably be applicable to this situation, if you wanted a term for it. An alternate term would also be platonic / plato aversion.

[web-novel-polls]

Just saw your MDZS thing and I half agree and half not. Like, on the one hand, I think it's absolutely justified (though I don't generally support any torture, but this is fiction and...it's Wen Chao...), but on the other hand, it's not supposed to be black and white??? MXTX clearly wanted her readers to understand the cruelty of this moment. Wei Wuxian was so traumatized he became kind of twisted, at least with the people who massacred the Jiangs. But even though we all know WWX is NOT the evil overlord that the cultivation world thinks him to be, he is not meant to be seen as someone who can do no wrong. He makes mistakes! Some of the fault does, in fact, lie with him! He's not 100% sunshine boy! And THAT'S OKAY. In fact, him being complex is WHY he's such a good character! And it boggles my mind how people will go to any lengths to make him perfectly innocent and pure in everything (rather than being traumatized and human) while also vilifying Jiang Cheng and Jin Guangyao and Xue Yang and whoever else. Like, the latter two obviously did really bad things, worse than WWX, but they are very obvious mirrors to WWX. Xue Yang grew up an orphan on the streets. If WWX hadn't been rescued by Jiang Fengmian, he might've turned out the same way. Jin Guangyao was consistently denigrated for being the son of a prostitute. WWX also faced classism (to a lesser extent) for being the son of a servant (which Yu Ziyuan and Jin Zixun used against him). And don't even get me started on JC. People will go to any extent to vilify him when all of his actions make sense as someone who is also human and flawed and traumatized. Does this absolve any of them of their actions? No. But it does explain them. And just because someone does make mistakes doesn't mean they deserve to be hated and condemned (unless they're Wen Chao, who didn't make mistakes but who instead had an entire personality dedicated to being horrible. Pretty sure he's the only one who MXTX wanted to be a straight up bad guy, though if you can give me evidence to the contrary, feel free). Readers thinking in black and white and condemning other characters for xyz actions without trying to understand them while holding up WWX as a shining beacon who can do no wrong miss the entire point of the novel and do disrespect to WWX himself. Anyway... There's my rant over. Feel free to ignore this if you want, haha.

I’m not completely sure what you mean in regards to “half agreeing and half not” tbh. It seems to me like your disagreement lies with vilifying other characters when the main character is a morally complex character, which was my point? The morality policing was specifically what I was criticizing in my original post? Because, like, I agree with the broad strokes about Wei Wuxian and other characters’ moral complexities and grayness. 

My point was that, even if justified or understandable, the torture of Wen Chao was horrific and brutal, and I don’t completely understand how anyone who DID read the novel (which I understand not everyone has and/or has a different interpretation) is willing to harass actual, flesh-and-blood people over liking a character when the main character has literally tortured someone. That’s it.

I actually made my original post after a bunch of Jiang Cheng antis (who I do actually like talking to and seeing their opinions when they’re not harassing others) found an Aroace-spec Character Tournament poll with Jiang Cheng and were incredibly condescending about it. Which is honestly better than the death threats and threats of violence and doxxing, but it did hurt more than it probably should have to have people so unwilling to even TRY and see why I, and others, connected to Jiang Cheng, even after reading the same book that made them hate him. 

Seeing a character say, “Hey, what you did was not okay. I know why you did it, but it doesn’t change the damage you caused. I do not forgive you." to the main character was something that I needed to hear and see. It was something real, even if it might not be justifiable or “correct.” I like Jiang Cheng not because I think he’s always in the right or a perfect person, but because he’s not. And it’s fine if people don’t like him or think he’s the scum of the Earth or whatever, but I also think that prioritizing the debate about a character that doesn’t exist over actual people is cruel and unjustifiable. Ultimately, I do not care about any fictional character as much as I care about how willing people are to be so unbelievably inhumane for just disagreeing with them. 

And, somehow, this also ties into my opinions about the torture and killing of Wen Chao. I don’t think Wei Wuxian was unjustified, per se, for punishing Wen Chao, but I do think it was wrong in the sense that the action itself is wrong. It’s not a “WHOOO! WE KILLED THE BAD GUY” moment to me but a moment showing the brutality of war and a literary mark of descent to the “single plank bridge.” As someone else said (and so many more have probably said), it was fucked up, and acknowledging it was fucked up doesn’t mean Wei Wuxian is a “bad person” or a character you CAN’T like (paraphasing). It just means acknowledging that the act of torture itself is fucked up, no matter who does it or who it’s done to. Comparatively, sending death threats and threats of violence and doxxing is also fucked up, no matter who the other person is and what they’ve said. Putting a fictional story and character - no matter how much they may mean to you - over actual people for often no reason is fucked up. 

But yeah, I think “just because someone does make mistakes doesn’t mean they deserve to be hated and condemned” is one of my favorite aspects in a lot of web novels. I like that characters have “bad aspects” that while I may not condone IRL, including them make the characters… characters. That the “person” (character) is more important than whatever “bad aspect” they may have or mistake they might have made.

Anyway, I hope this clears up what I was trying to say lol. Not everything I wrote was meant specifically because I think you don’t agree or to argue with you, but to get my opinion across properly. I feel like we’re broadly saying the same thing, even if I’m not sure if I agree or disagree with the finer points like “Wei Wuxian might have become like Xue Yang.” Sorry if any of this comes off as aggressive, btw; it's not meant to be, but I lose my fight with tone everyday.

[rjalker]

Your post is harmful. Your intentions don't matter. You even said yourself that other people besides me have told you that your post is harmful. You don't get to ignore us and keep doubling down on the bigotry.

I did not know what specific thing you were talking about until you told me, and knowing that does not change the harm your original post is still doing. Which you are doubling down on.

No, I did not "choose" to get mad at you "because you happened to not include every experience ever".

Your original post is right there making the blanket statement "btw maybe don’t tag your posts as aromantic/aroace if they’re just about asexuality. and don’t tag your posts as asexual/aroace if they’re just about aromantic. maybe" without any qualifiers at all.

You have been told this is harmful. By multiple people.

If you keep doubling down and insisting you're not harming anyone, then you don't get to be surprised or indignant when people call you an exclusionist, because that is exactly what you're being.

You can't keep saying you have good intentions if your only reaction to people telling you you're harming people is to pretend we're just choosing to get mad to cause problems for you. That's not how acting in good faith works.

You can't say you support non-SAM people and aroaces and then keep doubling down when you're told you're hurting them.

Your intentions do not matter. The affects of your words and actions do. If you have multiple people telling you your original post is harmful and exclusionary, the correct decision if you do not want to be an exclusionist is to listen, and apologize, and do better.

You've now added to the original post

post brought to you by the fact that i saw a fic with an asexual character tagged as aromantic and aroace. not spreading any hateful or exclusionist beliefs here and those that do will be blocked. my account is a safe space for the entire queer community and exclusionism will not be tolerated xx

so you're saying you're not spreading any hateful or exclusionists belief, but here you are, right now, on this reblog, telling me, and all the others who were upset by this, that we're just making up problems out of nowhere.

If you are actually trying to act in good faith and support everyone in the community, then you cannot just insist that anyone who tells you you're hurting people is making problems up for no reason. That's just being a bigot.

Doubling down on bigotry and insisting that no one has anything to be mad about is not how you act in good faith and support other people in your community.

If you want your post to not be criticized for exclusionist ideas, then edit it so that it is completely specific to what specific thing you are criticizing. Making broad sweeping statements like it's still doing, now with an asterisk, is not helpful, especially when, like I said, you just keep insulting everyone who's told you it's harmful.

"I saw a fic tagged aro, but I was really disappointed to see that the character was only asexual and not also aromantic, so please make sure you tag posts properly so people can find what they're looking for" is a good way to phrase it. Not just telling people in a sweeping statement not to tag posts with aro or ace.

canonically47 said in another two reblogs:

also are you fucking stupid. ONE click on my profile, ONE, you see im aroace. how the fuck would i not support MYSELF are you DUMB??????????

uhhh just read a bit of this so like?? happy for you?? sorry that happened idk.. but i said people got my ORIGINAL and MEANT point which is what i edited the post to say. YOU are the ONLY ONE that got mad.

stop using big words dawg youre not scaring me and not being helpful at all to anyone. touch grass

Okay so you just. Really aren't even trying to learn how to listen when people tell you you're being harmful.

Being aroace doesn't mean you can't be hateful towards aroace people or any other aspec people. That's not how bigotry works. You can be any identity and harm people of any identity, including people of that same identity.

I'm not trying to scare you with "big words" I'm trying to explain to you how to avoid spreading bigotry since you say you want to support everyone in the aspec community. You're gonna have to learn at some point how to react responsibly when you are told you're spreading harmful ideas.

btw maybe don’t tag your posts as aromantic/aroace if they’re just about asexuality. and don’t tag your posts as asexual/aroace if they’re just about aromantic. maybe

[chaosnightmare]

i want to say before i say any of the rest of this post that this is the least hostile i could ever possibly express this i have been a part of aroace communities for years i consider myself gray aroace and sex and romance repulsion have been a part of my life for its entire duration so i truly do not think i feel this way out of ignorance but look.

i cannot continue to listen to yall base your ideas around sex and romance off of YA content and cartoons and fanfiction and i CANNOT continue to listen to yall talk about them like they're these awful dark evil cults of weirdos. sex and romance are so nuanced and beautiful and magical and fantastic. QPRs are not good because "romance so dramatic and full of games and jealousy" because that's not what romantic relationships are for a lot of people. what is this to you, a disney channel original movie. QPRs are extremely beneficial in many ways and theyre a completely legitimate form of love for other people in their own right without you trying to delegitimize romance the literal concept of romance. sexless dating isnt good because "sex is so icky and weird and uncomfy" sexless dating is good for a myriad of reasons but SEX BAD EWW is most certainly not one of them.

its not "what is wrong with allosexuals what is wrong with alloromantics are the allos okay" because theres nothing wrong with them just like theres nothing wrong with you. when i first discovered that i really am a deeply romatic and sexual person, i felt stupid for thinking that allos were like some alien other group of idiots and weirdos. theyre not theyre literally not and you don't have to oppose them to make your point. sex and romance are so rooted in many peoples queer experiences, and who would want to deny the beauty of that.

romance, now that ive seen it up close, isn't this rigid set of rules and boundaries, and it isn't an endless game of arguing, and it isnt inherently jealous or clingy, and it isn't demanding, and it isn't confusingly convoluted, and it isn't scary. romance is just another way to love somebody, but it can be freeing, comforting, adoring and passionate, lively and joyous, and very healthy. whatever negative ideas you have of it, you need to rethink. sex isn't this disgusting, odd, terrible monster. while society does have an unhealthy fixation on it, sex isn't the problem itsself, sex is just a thing you do. its just an action. at the same time, though, it can lead to undeniably gorgeous experiences that are just as alive as their initiators. sex is one of the most intimate things you can do with someone, when in the right circumstances. it is most definitely NOT just violent, animalistic, and selfish the VAST majority of the time. whatever negative ideas you have of it, you need to rethink.

you don't need to try and validate yourself to cishet people by expressing disgust with other queer people? its okay. you're right that being aroace is queer, youre right that it's good to be the way you are. you don't have to try so hard, you're already right. its okay. alloness isn't something to be afraid of and allo queer peoples experiences will never violate or negate yours, so you don't need to wig out about it. all the time i see people who are in the wider aroace community (my very community, once again.) express anger and hatred and disgust towards allo people seemingly for just existing as if they infringe upon you literally at all? when we spoke about aroace oppression years ago, we meant that our allosexual society is built without aroace people in mind, and that aromantic and asexual people have no natural place in it. i'm pretty sure what we didn't mean is "WOAH aren't allo people so weird and crazy?!?!". get a grip. if you're trying to make a statement, you're all doing a shit job. grow up, grow a pair, go outside, something.

(btw before anyone can even think about mentioning it yes there is and will always be a difference between injokes and genuine sentiments just the same as with like, trans and cis people. just. exercise critical thought)

[sisterofiris]

@moonbeam-sunbeam (source of screenshot ft. original post - I’m creating a new one because the other one was long and I don’t want to boost OP’s voice again)

I understand where you’re coming from, and when it comes down to the bare bones, I agree: the Gods can’t be defined by human labels. Gods are Gods, not people. They don’t have sexualities, or not in a way that we as human can comprehend, at least - even less in a way that fits neatly into our modern labels. Artemis is not “aroace”, or “lesbian”, or “bisexual”, or “straight”, or any other sexual or romantic identity. She is the Potnia Theron, Lady of what is by definition outside the constructs of our society, and greater than anything our mortal tongues could possibly put into words.

She is also open to be worshipped by anyone. All of the Gods are. There is a common fallacy, in the Hellenic polytheistic community (and in the Pagan community as a whole), that a person can only worship deities who resemble them. This is not only obviously wrong (in Artemis’ case, one need only to look to Hippolytos; see also Xenophon, a presumably straight man who dedicated a temple to her), it also makes no sense. What a strange place Ancient Greece would have been if only kings could worship Zeus! If only musicians and doctors could worship Apollon! If only farmers could worship Demeter! And who would worship Hades - the Dead?

Interestingly, I see this fallacy applied most often to gender and sexuality. I have never heard anyone claim only hunters can worship Artemis, but I have had to reassure an anon that Artemis will still accept her now that she’s sexually active. I think this is, in part, where the belief that applying certain orientations to deities is restrictive comes from - because if you believe people can only worship deities like them, then viewing a deity as part of X group means that only X group can worship them. I’ll say it again: this is historically inaccurate to Hellenic polytheism, unsustainable considering the many facets of the Gods and the impossibility to fit them into modern categories, and needlessly exclusive. If you relate to Artemis - and even if you don’t - you can worship her, full stop.

But I also think this excessive focus on gender and sexuality as restrictive highlights a trend that can be seen in society at large. Often, whenever a person, character, or in this case a deity is presented as non-straight, many (usually straight) people will denounce it as unnecessary, even graphic information. Queer-coded relationships are played off as “open to interpretation”, and explicit interpretation of them as queer is “pushing an agenda”. Having a non-straight orientation (or not being cisgender) becomes a limitation on what someone could be, and by extension, on how others can relate to them - as if it isn’t simply another experience one can have of life, just like having brown eyes or being left-handed.

The fact is that everything we represent the Gods as is limiting. Every single word we use to express divinity is reducing it to something we understand and are comfortable with. We have no choice but to do this, because the wholeness of a God’s being kills mortals (see: Semele). Depicting the Gods as human is limiting them. Using gendered pronouns is limiting them. Calling them by Greek names is limiting them. All of those are traditions meant to help us relate to non-human beings, but somehow, it’s the projection of queer identities onto them that is singled out as restrictive.

Again, I’m not saying Artemis is any specific non-straight orientation. None of us know that, nor if it’s even possible for her to have an orientation. What I’m saying is that she was described in certain terms by the Ancient Greeks, along with all her other characteristics, and those terms fit within the definition of what modern people call “aromantic asexual” (or, according to others, “lesbian” - like I previously stated, one being attested does not exclude the other). As an aroace myself, there is no reason why this cannot be one reason I relate to her. She is freedom, yes, and that means many things to many people; one of those, to me, is the freedom to be myself and to prefer the wilderness over someone’s embrace. I love the Potnia Theron, with all this heart of mine that has been called loveless, because she reminds me that who I am is sacred. She has done the same for others, in many different ways, none of which are worth any less, none of which restrict her worship to those who share them, none of which restrict her at all, because it is through the multitudes of human echoes that we find in her that we can glimpse her true greatness.