#it doesnt need an actual freaking remake???

[foxstens]

black flag is getting a remake 🤮🤮🤮

[seabysiren]

Listen I need more of the streamer au👁️👄👁️, it’s pure gold. Like are the rest of the 141 team streamers too, what about Los vaqueros. What if they form like content creator house, could you imagine the absolute chaos😭

that's what I wanted the end goal to be. unite the 141 avengers style. having our dear reader as the editor and main camera man when they start doing more in person vlogs and videos.

this may be content like exploring a haunted house at 3am in the morning! soap and gaz scared out of their minds! simon firmly doesnt believe in ghosts. johnny and gaz on the other hand... are screaming and running away at any sudden noise. you and price often stand in the dark waiting for the two idiots to approach and scaring the living daylights out of them. simon who stands in a room of what used to be a child's nursery. grimacing from the dust and gently handling the toys left with respect. even if there was no 'ghost', he respects the area and where the child had been thought to have passed away from neglect. you who just slowly walks away from the group to do your own thing. you catch doors slamming by themselves. the blue bouncy ball rolling back to you despite you throwing it away a few moments ago. you just go. nope. 'i respect you ghost dude. but like, not today.' funnily enough, the ghosts stop when you ask them to. you eventually show the feed to soap and gaz who are freaking out and shaking you back and forward. why would you do that? what if you got haunted? what if you brought the ghost back with you????

que coming back at like noon to the hotel. soap and gaz are absolutely exhausted with all the screaming and messing around they did. price just seems overall unnerved, and ghost doesn't care. he just wants to go to sleep... and possibly share the bed with you so he can hold you close and cudde-

i mean wait what? or like homemade cooking with the Los Vaqueros, Alejandro and Rodolfo. simon absolutely getting destroyed by all the spices because british food is bland af.

you had hinted at alejandro and rodolfo that simon and soap may not have that good of a spice tolerance. that was a mistake because you saw them dump a lot of red, spicy smelling herbs in when soap and ghost weren't looking.

the food they made was absolutely amazing. tamales. chile rellenos. and a spicy chicken soup (chilate de pollo). soap absolutely butchering the names because he does not, in fact, speak spanish. you smack him upside the head for that. ghost is surprisingly quiet when he eats the food. soap is howling in the background for milk, gaz is laughing at him and price is just silently enjoying his food.

ghost's face gets surprisingly red. but he doesn't complain. even goes for seconds. but when the kitchen is cleared after cleaning everything up. you see him sitting down with a carton of ice cream, digging it straight out with a spoon.

(his favorite ice cream is vanilla bean.) soap and gaz making everyone have a pretty princess remake <3. forcing everyone, including price, who just signs and drinks out of his flask of whiskey, to paint their nails and wear dresses and stuff. the reader actually getting beat behind scene because they don't have to get a makeover... that is until simon locks them into a chokehold because he wants to see you all dolled up too :))

they all gossip about each other. telling embarassing stories. stories about ghost's initial confusion about streaming. all the works. the content creator house is a mess. but its a found family that all the viewers love to see.

[james-fun-in-the-sunderland]

id love to know your dp opinions! youre like. the only one who gets it i think

omg anon the ego boost u just gave me with that statement.... like haha twirls my hair u think im the only one that gets it omgggg anyway Im not sure what opinions specifically the People would like to hear but ive shared alot of my opinions in my little personal tag, but just a warning i dont have like ANY opinions on stuff that doesnt involve york and zach but that MAY CHANGE... bc i am currently doing a 100% run of dp1 bc im a freak so im gonna actually do side quests instead of just running through the main story (which is what i usually do bc i wanna get to the ending bc the ending slaps so fucking hard ok sorry to all of the people that really like the dp1 npcs) (also thank u so much to the dp fanpage for being such a good resource 🙏 (but pls bring back the like conversations page sob i need to know what zach says to everyone without running around town for dayssss 😭😭😭))

But yes if anyone has any specific questions on my opinions i would 100% be willing to answer bc i have ALOT of them, some of them differ from main fanon opinion so im a biiiit scared to share <- is a coward, but i probably just wont main tag them lmao. unless its my opinons on how dp2 is so fucking bad dude i hate that game SO much and i am not afraid to say it lmao. maybe ill make a post about my dp2 remake idea bc i think my brain is huge imo

(also an opinion i havent rly shared but is one that is INTEGRAL to my enjoyment of dp1 is that i think the like 'york is a magical being actually not a DID alter <3' is stupid... i think it really undermines alot of emotions and also its just fun to have a protag with DID where its not demonized at all! plus the way YORK JUST CURES ZACHS CANCER IN DP2 IS SOOOO BADDDDD AUGHHHHHHH anyway.)

[doodledrawsthings]

Oh The Humanity! AU  Masterpost

Hi! Making a masterpost for this AHiT AU so y’all have one place to just find all the important bits that I and other folks in the fandom have done for this AU! Everything will be under the read more

AU Premise: Snatcher steals a time piece from Hat Kid and Bow Kid to mess with them. He tries to use it during one of the Death Wish fights, but turns out the particular time piece he stole was faulty/ something was up with it/ he broke it in a weird way that really messed it up. Because of this, when he broke the piece, instead of rewinding time back a few minutes, it sent his form back about 300 years, returning him to human form, but with all his present memories. Now, he’s stuck as a human as and has to wait for the Time Traveling Alien Kids to fix the time piece and return him to normal, while also being forced to confront his past.

You can find most of this in the tag #oth!au. I will also be updating this as new stuff gets added or if I find that I’ve missed something. Let me know if there’s something I missed that you’d like me to add, cuz boy howdy i didnt realize how much is stuffed into this AU, and I dont remember what I’ve already said and what I’m saving for future stuff:

Significant Events in the Main Timeline story (these are kind of in order and kind of not. There’s more to be added, just not yet):

this au has a bunch of different endings thanks to the lovely ahit fandom’s contributions.

This all happens sometime after This comic. So, by the time OTH!AU happens, Moon and Snatcher are at least on“awkward acquaintance” terms with eachother and snatcher is trying to be nicer to him. He’s still got his moments of being rude and snappy tho, but thats just because he’s snatcher.

The first actual post i made In regards to this AU+ @positive-polygons​ comic interpretation of the beginning of the AU. He breaks a weird time piece he stole and he reverse ages back to being alive again. : Link Link1 Link2 Link3

Snatcher asks moonjumper to watch over Subcon while he’s stuck like this Link

Bow takes him to Nyakuza Metro to get new clothes. He trashes the Prince get-up as soon as possible. Link

Arctic Cruise Arc Link1 Link2 Link3 Link4

Some comics, they learn his name is luka at some point

Moonjumper is taking care of Subcon. They do things way differently than snatcher but they’re trying their best. 

Cooking Cat comes by to cook and help out. She’s very motherly to everyone. She’s taken Mu on as an apprentice, so she’s usually there with her whenever she drops by.

The birds are wrapping up a collab movie. The main cast are invited to the premier party, as Hat and Bow acted in the film. Snatcher gets to wear a nice suit and he has some interaction with the conductor and grooves. Link Link

at multiple points, MJ checks in with snatcher for status reports on how subcon is doing. This is usually where their bonding moments happen and they become less and less awkward with each interaction.

At some point around mid to late story, they find out that Subcon is starting to freeze over again. Snatcher was the only one who could melt the ice so this now gives them a time limit.

The Mirror incident Link Link  second fic by @greentrickster​

as snatcher gets along with the kids more, they remake his mailman hat so he can use badges and equip him with his own umbrella. Link Link

at some point snatcher realizes he doesn’t wanna go back to being a ghost.

Main-timeline ending is a Boss battle with Vanessa. Link

General Headcanons:

Almost everything you need to know about moonjumper and the prince and vanessa’s relationship Link

Snatcher and Vanessa have known eachother since they were kids. Their marriage was arranged, but they were good friends

OTH! Snatcher is aroace 

about snatcher’s feelings on defeating vanessa (*human!/final boss vanessa ending) Link1 Link2

This fic has a really good interpretation of the horizon that I’ve pretty much adopted, myself. Link

regarding snatcher’s expression of empathy and emotion both as a human and as a ghost Link1

Snatcher gradually takes on a fatherly role towards the girls. He is constantly trying to deny it as he comes to realize it but eventually accepts it. 

he’s actually pretty graceful with the umbrella  Link Link

Hat kid’s a good leader, but she can often be reckless and stubborn. Significantly more chaotic of the two space gremlins. She’s a lot like snatcher in a lot of ways, and because of that they are constantly butting heads but they get along better as Snatcher both gets used to being human and grows fonder of the two girls. She’s a bit closer to Snatcher, having been the most adamant about being his friend (initially out of spite but yknow) and they have a lot in common. 

People frequently mistake snatcher for being Hat Kid and Bow Kid’s visiting father. They usually comment on how much he looks like he could be HK’s biological dad. Both are in denial of this throughout the main timeline of this au. It’s a running gag. Link

snatcher is sometimes completely oblivious when he enters Dad Mode sometimes

Bow, on the other hand is generally a bit more shy and careful than hat kid is. She tends to take the passenger seat, taking on a more supportive role. She’s also way more polite. In this sense, she has more in common with moonjumper, and gets along with them quite well and she frequently goes to visit him the most often, on her own.

 Her and snatcher’s relationship kind of parallels snatcher’s relationship with MJ. Snatcher, having once been a big jerk to these kids, is now trying to teach bow to take more of a leading role and be more confident.

as this au takes place not long after the Clearing Incident comic, Snatcher and MJ’s relationship is a bit awkward in the beginning. Over the course of the AU their relationship would build up to be more brotherly.

the subconites like moonjumper but they miss their boss. MJ spoils them tho, which they appreciate and occasionally take advantage of Link Link

moonjumper learns to stand up for himself, snatcher learns to be more vulnerable

moonjumper is the badgeseller. Only hat, bow, and snatcher know this. 

snatcher very much enjoys feeling warm, its one of few saving graces he clings too in the stressful early part of the story.

snatcher doesnt like looking at himself in this AU. He’s very self-conscious about his “pathetic human body.” He doesn’t like being pitied and he doesnt like being seen as weak.

snatcher frequently has nightmares about his past.

after recieving the mailman hat, people start refering to him as The Mailman. Link

his voice frequently cracks a lot, especially in the beginning, since he keeps trying to use his Loud Ghost Voice, which can do a number on human vocal chords. Link

the kids bully him constantly Link Link Link

his arc is that he learns that it’s ok to be human and it’s ok to be vulnerable and to open up to people, and he learns to accept his past and who he used to be

the girls accidentally call him dad sometimes, which freaks him out at first, but he gets used to it eventually. Link

he adopts them, for sure, it just happens post- whatever ending.

beard. Link

Spin-off AUs, Alt Endings, and Fanfics, Oh My!:

That ending where habijob kills moonjumper  Moonjumper goes to fight Vanessa, alone. In one version they win, and in another, they lose, and snatcher has to return to ghost form to retrieve them from the horizon. by @habijob  Link Link Link 

From The Horizon fic by @greentrickster Link

@lindendragon‘s hypothetical endings where snatcher is captured by vanessa Link Link

@fedoraspooky‘s spinoff au where the timepiece takes him back even further and turns him into a kid Link Link

@positive-polygons‘s Vanessa Spinoff Link

@doodleimprovement‘s Royal ending Link

@erekiosuncreativeideas​‘s fanfic, Being Human, her version of the au’s story in chronological order starting from when he breaks the timepiece Link

@lemonadesoda​’s Fanfic series, And I Don’t Think You Hate This As Much As You Wish You Did, fills in and expands upon the ideas in  my comics for the AU Link

[tiptapricot]

MK liveblog moments, The Goldfish Problem

Steven checks for footprints when getting up and winces at his ankle

I love Steven I love him so much

Oh my god episode one has so much foreshadowing

Wonder where Steven keeps his name tag when he’s at home bc he takes it from his chest pocket

I NEED to see the convo that happened w Dylan in a season two also she seems so fun

Taweret plushies my beloved

STEVEN CALLS DONNA CAP’N

I literally cannot see Steven as Oscar they just look diff it’s ridiculous

Ammit plushies :-)

GODD THE MUSIC IN EP ONE IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS

Steven already had a crush on Dylan n I’m just… thinking ab Jake or Marc setting that up for him again

The sound effects r so nice but on these speakers the dialogue is less crisp

Steven looks like he’s eating cereal while researching?

What is the origin of the staying awake thing like what is it for bc it sounds like it’s for somth paranormal

THE CUT FROM THE BED RO THE ALPS IS ALWAYS SO GOOD

Marc bestie whYYY did u jump out the window ily

Steven’s lips look nice w blood he should wear lipgloss

I wonder if Steven got shot while running away nnjust didn’t notice bc he was too scared

One of the ladies brings a dog to see harrow it’s v cute

Shaky cam following Steven is so gOood

“Call me Arthur” I’ll call u a bitch that’s what I’ll do fuck off

When harrow tells the lady he believes she’s been good but that the scales don’t lie it hits weird when u know he knows he’s unbalanced

I wonder where Marc n Harrow have met before. Like it had to b through or bc of Khonshu or somth with the avatar switch n I wanna know like… bc he doesn’t seem to have actually met met him so maybe he’s been watching the caped stories from afar?? V intriguing.

Steven’s lil eye crinklies :-)

The. Score. I’m. HMGGGHG.

I rlly wanna know which of the Alps switches r Marc vs Jake

Wham :-)

There should b more wham songs in MK and in action movies in general esp beyond Wake Me Up bc there’s some other fantastic songs

I’m glad that we see Steven swear normally bc it wouldn’t feel right if he didn’t

We need to hear him say fuck tho

I like that Khonshu’s voice always seems to be coming from above, like he’s in the overvoid

Oscar has such good acting in every ep but this one esp it’s like

He does such a good job w Steven’s panic

I hope Dylan n Steven get to b friends again

The failed date scene… aughhhhh

I NEED TO SEE

FRENCHIE

Call 32 looking at u so hard

Watching this on a big screen in a dark room truly brings out the creep factor n makes all the darker scenes so much more fun n dramatic

Also Steven mentions contacts which I assume he actually had w the glasses

Also fuck that lady in the elevator who freaked out from Steven just bc he was acting distressed

Also I wonder what Marc did that evening when he took back over for Steven

Also he dressed him in a flat shirt instead of a patterned one that’s such an interesting deet

Idk if I just dk how displays work but are the pillars in the gallery w Ammit on em like remakes or are those real n just not behind glass

Steven asks “are you going to kill me?” So plainly I love him. And hen Khonshu flickers the lights bc no way his avatar isn’t gonna die. Also the speech harrow gives Steven is ab Khonshu but it probably hits more like ab Marc to steven

Steven’s fingers twitch while harrow judges the body

THE PART WHERE HE LOOKS AT HIS REFLECTION N WALKS AWAY N IT DOESNT I LOVE THIS EP GODDDDD

I wonder if Steven watches horror or not I could see him being interested in the effects

I LOVE HOW OSCAR MAKES HIM MOVE N WALK ITS SO FUCKING HHHHHHGVBBB

His poor arm :-(

THE BATHROOM SCENE THE BATHROOM SCENE AHHHGGHHHGGHH

Ur not gonna die. Let me save us.

GOING OUT TO SPACE AHHHH

The way the bandages r hesitant n slow bc the switch is

The wedding ring being cracked in three haha Layla ur marrying three guys

Also didn’t realize the bullet hole in the glass in the credits has their face reflected in it

[the-kipsabian]

okay listen im aware this is probably an incredibly unpopular opinion but only like 1/3 (maybe even 1/4 actually...) of level up is actually necessary whatsoever

some personal thoughts under the cut, im salty oopsy doo

attitude city cuts off so many little nice comedic quips that i love this song for (the whole ‘ninja brian, can you lay down a sick flute solo for me? thank you’ for example) and just in general the general vibe of the song is not so. over the top supposedly badass as the original. sorry not sorry. i give it to tho, the instruments sound absolutely amazing (through the whole album really, twrp definitely brings it here) and the lyrics are much better pronounced. other than that, this song really didnt need a remaster, i dont understand why its here tbh. its too new for this, even if the original album is from 2015

again, unicorn wizard is missing some of the original comedy quips. the whole soup bit at the beginning is one of my faves. :( i do kinda understand why they cut so many of them from this album as they were very music video specifics, but they are also very much part of the songs and their stories. also just in general the chorus doesnt have the positivity unicorn vibe for me anymore. its like. extremely obvious how much better dan has gotten at singing tho, which sounds so freaking good, but theres just something missing from this that made the original so magical for me. maybe im listening to this through some rose colored... hear pieces idk cause unicorn wizard was my first and is one of my absolute faves, but i just dont really vibe with this the same way. it sounds amazing as a standalone, but as a remake, i just. cant

ROAD TRIP IS ABSOLUTELY UNNECESSARY. thats all. this song was one of their best, i dont know why its here. it sounds nearly the same anyways, they could have just put new instruments on this instead of also redoing the vocals. im sad

i just want to (dance) is one tho that absolutely deserves to be on this album tho. being one of their first this one goes wayyyyy further than the rest and it still has that original vibe while being accompanied by incredible instrumentals. again, twrp absolutely brings it in this, especially when they kick the faster bits in the song. it just sounds like you’d imagine nsp stuff to sound. its incredible tbh

dragon slayer is. i accept this. i can vibe with both this and the original tho. this has the kind of a remake vibes i dont mind at all, it has enough of the originals energy in the vocals and. do i even need to mention the work twrp brings into this? its unnecessary, but i dont dislike it

nsp theme song. this is another one that deserves to be here, considering how original and old this one is. the only thing im gonna say, the comedy quips again. i miss them. i understand dropping them for the style, but also. i miss them. either way, this one fucks. thats pretty much all

party of three is the only one of the newer songs i fully accept on this list tbh. mostly cause it has. i described it to myself as a “date night feel”, which is the whole point of this song. and it just fits really well. twrp fucking slaps and the c part before the final chorus? i screamed out loud. that was always my favorite part of this song, and holy sHIT the remake version is giving me even worse goosebumps. god im gay. also they kept at least a few of the quips on this which is. the best

6969 sounds so similar its unnecessary. moving on

dinosaur laser fight is honestly? amazing?? like this is a remake the song mostly didnt need, but considering how different it is from the original im all over this song tbh. never gonna get tired of how dan delivers the ‘fuck this’ line in the remake. we didnt necessarily need this, but im also really glad we got it cause in this case its amazing to hear how different they can make one of their most popular songs while also absolutely sounding like nsp. also the instruments on this are beautiful. have i praised twrp enough already lmao

that is all. i just felt like i had to get this out now i have no regrets. youre entitled to your opinions, i am mine woo

[lofikids]

aoi and mika + yon + colt for funsies :) pls i wanna laugh

please send me a ship and I will tell you :  aoka + yoi + aolt edition 

AOI & MIKA

who’s the cuddler: aoi. mika has literal panic attacks when she tries to hug people FDKGFDGKFHFGHGF so that will take some building up. 

who makes the bed: mika, that’d be the same for all of these. shes literally such a clean freak and everything needs to be in order. if aoi made the bed, mika would still go up after and remake it to make sure its perfect.

who wakes up first: mika, she doesn’t sleep in late. 

who has the weird taste in music: they both vibe to that weirdcore shit that makes you feel like you’re on another realm of existence together so i’d say they’re both on a similar level.

who is more protective: i’d say mika because its literally programmed into her to protect the ones she loves but then again i feel like aoi would literally kill a man for even looking mikas way. probably not even for that. aoi would just kill a man.

who sings in the shower: mika, so loud. so so loud.

who cries during movies: mika but then she says “NO IM NOT YOU’RE CRYING” so automatically aoi is now the one crying.

who spends the most while out shopping: they’re probably both as bad as each other.

who kisses more roughly: mika!!!

who is more dominate: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM aoi. DJISOFKDGFLDJG. they’re a nice mix but mika gives in often. and in everyday life mike probably follows aoi’s lead a lot 

their song: freak by lana del rey. DSJIOOFKLGFGLFGFLG

AOI & YON

who’s the cuddler: yon. she really fucking hates cuddles one day & then the next you literally can’t pull her off of you. and those happen often, so enjoy your koala. though yon is unhappy at the fact its aoi she’s having to hug, but it will do.

who makes the bed: neither of them. they literally sleep on the floor, on separate sides of the house.

who wakes up first: yon, i dont even think she does sleep. shes too busy thinking about how to become the next god.

who has the weird taste in music: yon forces aoi to listen to her music which is mainly just edm, pretty much all yon listens to anyways. aoi probably finds it weird. yon enjoys it though.

who is more protective: yon saw someone ask aoi to dance once and she didn’t like that so she used her powers to curse that person. simply out of free will. and it awakened something in her and that was because of aoi. i decided this now. yon.

who sings in the shower: neither, its just dead silence and they do it together and stare at each other.

who cries during movies: neither...... i don’t think yon knows what crying is.

who spends the most while out shopping: YON DOESNT SPEND MONEY SHE JUST ROBS AND IM SURE AOI IS THE SAME.

who kisses more roughly: yon, because she isn’t too sure on how to actually kiss good, so its just a hot ass rough mess always.

who is more dominate: aoi.

their song: let her dance by the bobby fuller four.... its just weird and fun.

AOI & COLT

who’s the cuddler: colt. he likes to feel safe and not having a whole bunch of physical contact through his life hes now relying on that affection to keep him going, hence a lot of back hugs and warm embraces at random times that would make a person sad from how much emotion is in it.

who makes the bed: colt, hes gotten used to doing it overtime and will just want to make things easier for aoi, especially if shes seeming particularly gone with the... how would u say it.... drugs? that day

who wakes up first: aoi. colt will sleep for 15 hours straight and he is a heavy ass sleeper aswell so he just will not wake up....

who has the weird taste in music: aoi probably. but colt listens to g-easy un ironically so i think he takes the cake, even from an ooc view point.

who is more protective: colt. hes the arm around the waist, give others dirty looks when they’re together kind of boyfriend. he also likes to rest his hand on the back of her neck, a trick he picked up from levi. and even tap his fingers over it, normally outside to show that shes with him and nobody would be getting near her. the liverpool slang comes out if anyone does though.

who sings in the shower: aoi gets dragged in and colt tries to sing to her. she probably isnt a fan.

who cries during movies: colt, he cries at everything. the smallest thing in a movie and he has to take a step away and come back. hes just a big baby.

who spends the most while out shopping: aoi, colt is having a nervous breakdown trying to keep up with the spends and maybe slow her down a little bit with alternative options. but fails.

who kisses more roughly: colt! hes not known to be soft about it.

who is more dominate: colt. he likes to control what he can, whenever he can. which isnt the best but trauma will do that to u.... JDFKLSGFD

their song: glue by bicep

[blackasmidnightcats]

QfG Rants and Remakes part 5

Big thanks to both @agathasarmy and @yarasquad for sharing their ideas with me and believing that I could actually make a coherent rant without being too swallowed up by my emotions and hopefully I'll be able to do the same here.

P.S. Imma change the title of the next Rants and Remakes cause it's definitely not focusing on QfG anymore and it's gonna focus of AWWP so yeah...there's that to look forward too.

Chaddick & Yara + Tagatha interlude

Note: This post was originally gonna be titled "Chaddick & Yara + Mourning the Departed" and would have turned out as how it is explained below but as I was writing about Chaddick I realized that I needed to talk about something concerning Tagatha and realized that this post would have been too long for all three so I gonna move the "Mourning of Departed" in its own post. Hope you guys understand. Tagatha has a strong pull with me.

Imma actually gonna outline this cause I need to organize my thoughts and at least with this I could remember the direction that I would be heading.

First part's definitely going to talk about how Chaddick and Yara's death is bs

Then imma explain why them staying alive would have impacted the TCY storyline a lot more meaningfully (p.s. this is where the Tagatha interlude will be found)

And last (and this has been moved to its own post so stay tuned for it), I would also like to nitpick Soman's obvious lack of thought when it comes to the characters that have departed (mainly Callis and Lady Lesso and August Sader) and how it should have affected the characters (mainly Sophie and Agatha)

How Chaddick and Yara could have helped the storyline better

WARNING: I realized while writing this that I kinda made Chaddick and Yara more flawed than they are writen because I have to think about their character growth and they can't have that without having any flaws. So expect some more drama with these two than needed as I share my thoughts on how their characters could have went. They get better in the end believe me.

So I think that everyone in the fandom is one with the idea that Chaddick's death was one of the MOST worst decisions that Soman made.

As @agathasarmy said it once, Chaddick's death is more frustrating than sad because of how out of nowhere it is.

Via @agathasarmy:

but… Chaddick??? dying??? IN THE BEGINNING OF THE SERIES????

IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE, AND THE ONLY WAY IT MAKE SENSE IS COS SOMAN OBVIOUSLY DID IT TO INTRODUCE RHIAN AND THATS THE SHITTIEST THING ABOUT IT

HE REDUCED CHADDICK’S DEATH AS A PLOT DOOR WITHOUT PROPERLY SUBSTANTIATING CHADDICK’S CHARACTER FIRST SO INSTEAD OF US TRULY MOURNING HIS LIFE WE’RE JUST LEFT WITH THIS HOLLOW FEELING OF WHAT HE COULD’VE BEEN AS AN INTEGRAL CHARACTER TO THE PLOT

THIS

Chaddick's death felt hollow because it was a PLOT DEVICE. It didn't (or at least Soman didn't) conscider Chaddick much of a character but a means and once this happens some deaths can be very very hollow.

Like his POV chapter was very hard to read all because especially once you find out that he's dead by the end of it (SHAME SOMAN, SHAME) because his story and plot had so much potential. We weren't able to properly feel sad about his lost because we didn't get to know him better.

It just feels tragic. So much potential lost, all because Soman wanted Tedros to feel vulnerable because he lost his close friend.

WHICH SOMAN DIDN'T REALLY NEED TO DO

I explained already why this is bull and I'm gonna explain later what could have happened for Chaddick's character.

But in summary on why Soman didn't need to do it: EXPECTATIONS

Chaddick and Tedros would have been stressed out with all the expectations and comparison with Arthur and Lancelot. One wrong move could have broke them apart easily.

But Soman could have also not wanted to deal with Chaddick against his Sophie obssession so there could be that too.

SHAME SOMAN

Now, Yara.

Our little Soft Girl

She should not have died.

She really shouldn't have

W h y ?

Because her being alive would have impacted the story more than her death ever did. Just like Chaddick.

And if the problem was what she could have affected in the storyline in TLEA, then she could have been on the sides like. . . as Tristan from time to time or something.

Her being alive would have not affected or change TLEA at all. Like if more important characters like the Coven and the League can fade into the background then so could she.

But I really don't imagine her being in the school for New Evil with Aric as Dean. No, maybe Yuba could have hidden her with the League and she could have accompanied Princess Uma when they were getting Tedros and Agatha and then accompanied the Leuge or something.

Really it would have been that simple. C'mon.

Plus Kiko has been reduced to wreck after that. At least, with Yara being alive she could have fixed herself a bit more.

Okay

So in summary again: CHADDICK AND YARA SHOULD NOT HAVE DIED AND SHAME ON SOMAN FOR KILLING THEM OFF

Now, let's get to the juicier part, what could these two have contributed to the TCY storyline.

On Chaddick

It's pretty obvious what Chaddick's role should have been. He should have been important to the plot because his role would have been about breaking the comparison between the Past and the Present (see Soman, it could have been integrated into your canon plot) between him, Tedros, and Agatha to Lancelot, Arthur, and Gwen.

I'm pretty sure that Camelot has its eyes on these three.

It's pretty freaking convenient that they all have a predecessor to be compared to. And I'm pretty sure that it's not just Camelot who notices the pattern. I mean the whole freaking Woods read about this affair.

So Chaddick, along with Tedros and Agatha, should have been the ones that break this chain. It could have symbolized that Camelot was entering into a new, better era after a similar relationship broke it.

Like, a King, his beloved Queen and his most trusted Knight brought hope but ended in a Tragedy.

Now, another King, his beloved Queen and his most trusted Knight are skeptically judged for having the same pattern and they instead bring the Glory that first trio didn't

With Tedros, Agatha, and Chaddick united with each other bringing Camelot out of its traumatic experience with Tedros's parents, Camelot finally accepting that these three are not the same as Arthur, Gwen, and Lance and fully supporting them DESPITE the fear, would have been a much stronger message of that 'the past doesn't always repeat itself.'

Because with Rhian being known and most propably remembered as Tedros's most trusted Knight and betraying him in the end, it's like a copy of what Lance technically did to Arthur.

It just further proved that Camelot's King would always be betrayed by the ones they trust most.

Sadly for Arthur, he was betrayed by both Gwen and Lance and they left him alone.

While Tedros still has Agatha but without Chaddick the lesson simply is not learned.

Chaddick was integral to this formula because Camelot would have had to face yet another propable tragedy for their beloved King in the hands of the people he loves. With Tedros, Agatha, and Chaddick, complete, proving that they could do better despite having just a strong a bond as what Arthur and co had and Camelot accepting and trsuting this, the previous wounds would be replaced with new Hope.

Because even if that whole affair happened and ruined the Kingdom, at least they have proof that it's not always gonna happen that way.

And that's why Rhian being remembered as Tedros's Knight hurts this idea. Cause he betrayed him too.

Anyway, hopefully I made my point with this legacy thing.

Plus Chaddick and Arthur's Round Table training him. WHY SOMAN WHY?!?!?!

And now, imma explain what I think should have happened with Chaddick and how his character development and his role should have played out.

Because Chaddick is a pretty well rounded character, his POV chapter proves that he's brave, and is willing to die for his friends and what's right, and there isn't really much flaws to him aside from that he can sometimes make the most worst decisions despite being pretty wise.

I honestly cannot tell if he is stupid sometimes or Soman just does this to him cause PLOT.

Fandom I need help with this. Give me some opinions.

Like. . . he's wise enough to know what was right, examples being warning Tedros about Sophie and the first to listen to Agatha in AWWP, but also dumb or ignorant enough to bully Agatha in Book 1 and that VERY IMPORTANT THING ABOUT completely ABUSING Tedros is AWWP.

Like I'm kinda confused with him.

Well maybe we can say that he's a bit ignorant and maybe was raised with privilege so that's why he bullied Agatha in Book 1 and kinda wisened up in Book 2 about her.

But I am not excusing his attitude towards Tedros in AWWP because that was messed up. Well, AWWP was messed up so there is that but if we have to acknowledge that mess and have some closure then I vote for it to come from Chaddick and Yara.

Like maybe the reason why Chaddick is more wise now is because of that very experience. Maybe he could still be a bit guilty about it and that kinda messes with his mind cause he still thinks that Tedros is still the same boy those years ago in their second year and Rhian uses this to his advantage.

Actually, thinking about it this makes so much sense.

Like instead of AGATHA having the trust issues (thought I wouldn't completely vanish it, just not at the same level as she does in canon) it's CHADDICK that has them. Cause he's always kinda gets haunted by what happened in AWWP.

I mean Tedros replaced him with ARIC of all people when he failed to retrieve Agatha. There has to be some animosity between them since. I can imagine that Chaddick kinda felt like him and Tedros could never be as close as when they were during their first year. And he would totally understand it if Tedros never really forgave him for what happened and was at peace with it even if he didn't have enough guts to find a closure for it. He'd respect his friend first and foremost.

But then comes Tedros, all fine and inviting him to be his Knight like that would mess Chaddick up.

He propably couldn't believe it at first and maybe even kindly refused the offer at first but then he sees the heart break in Tedros's face and Chaddick realizes that Tedros really wanted this.

Tedros still sees Chaddick as his closest friend despite what happened in AWWP. And maybe after some thinking, Chaddick realizes that he still wants to have the bond with Tedros like what they had in Book 1. So he accepts.

But of course, they've changed and Chaddick still gets eaten by guilt because I think that he's the kind of person that knows that he did something wrong and wants to repent for it.

So instead of that wise friend that Tedros had in Book 1, Chaddick can't trust his judgement about Tedros because he's scared he'd go too far. So he kinda just agrees to Tedros's ideas and doesn't really give advice. Tedros kinda notices this and tries to talk to Chaddick about it but Chaddick would be all formal to him. Tedros, I don't really know, would think that it would be for his sake with the comparison with Arthur and Lance and all. So he kinda just goes along with it.

It's messy right now guys, I know, I'm kinda butchering Chaddick's character here but I promise it gets better and in my mind he'd be like this for only Book 4. He'd be Wise Chaddick again right after. Just give me a chance to explain.

So they have this kind of miscommunication thing that Canon Tagatha had in QfG instead and that would have made so much more sense and here's why;

Warning: this is officially where the Tagatha interlude starts so if you wanna skip it (why though???) find the sign that states it's the end. It's gonna be in pink too.

The fact that Tagatha was having a miscommunication failure was kinda off with me because 1) they've been over this in AWWP and TLEA. In TLEA Tedros has absolutely no problem with pushing Agatha to share more when she wouldn't and 2) he could easily read her like a book, especially when it counts. Like he could get her favorite food wrong but he always seemed to know what Agatha was having trouble with and was there to help her out and is not afraid to call her out on it (i.e. the Cinderella thing, he was on point there)

Imma provide some examples of Tedros totally getting Agatha when it counts;

AND THIS

AND THIS TOO

WAIT THERE IS MORE (The Tagatha Moment)

AND LET US NOT FORGET

THIS IS WHY TLEA TAGATHA WILL ALWAYS BE BEST TAGATHA.

I get that Agatha's insecure about herself and maybe she was kinda influenced with the Excalibur thing (but I highly doubt it though) but it's no reason for her to get to the conclusion she did at the end of QfG.

I mean girl, you were always thinking that Tedros would be a Great King in TLEA and that's why you've been so insecure about yourself. WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT???

Someone call me out on this PLEASE. I'm hurting myself by judging her too hard.

I can imagine that she would be sceptical with Tedros's ideas and kinda doubting him about it (you guys have no idea how much it hurts typing this) but I can also imagine that she would never doubt that Tedros's heart is in the right place even if she thinks that the way he gets there isn't always the best.

Like we have literal proof that Tedros gets Agatha almost like Sophie does and the best thing is that I'm sure that Tedros would think of the best in mind.

The mess in QfG makes no sense because they should be over this miscommunication bs and it should not have been a thing.

And if it was because of the stress with Excalibur and his responsibilities as King that made Tedros suddenly not get Agatha then WTF Soman!?!?!? I did not ask for this. They were literally about to die in TLEA and yet they could still joke and tease each other and have these cute little scenes with the other.

Instead I got Rhian's b*tch ass being Tedros's therapists when he knows sh*t about this boy and Agatha doubting Tedros like he did something horrible. (Well he did for trusting Rhian but i digress)

I could have had more of these cute Tagatha scenes instead. Like, is it too much to ask for these two to just show their love for each other in other ways than "I will save you" and "You're the best thing ever and I don't want to lose you for this horrible thing that I did or say" like give me small softer moments anytime.

Tedros gently teasing Agatha when she's being difficult and Agatha being totally trying not to show that she's smitten over it.

Agatha trying to be romantic at the most outrageous moments and Tedros being like "?????" but totally finding it cute.

Other character just not getting these two when they do and they are just as confused.

These are the kind of scenes I wanted from them. And if I have to use Chaddick to get it then so be it. (I'm sorry about this, I'm mostly projecting at this point and these really affecting my personal opinions on this matter but I'll try to tone it down a bit so that it's still coherent)

Note: this is the official end of the Tagatha interlude but i'm not keeping any promises that it'll be the last

Anyways, Chaddick and Tedros, they have more reasons with having communication problems because;

They have not been together for a very long time and they've both propably changed since

AWWP. So far, the two of them have had horrible experiences as the last thing that they remember about each other.

As I explained, I headcanon that Chaddick has a somewhat formed a sort of PSTD with it and is very scared that he's gonna mess it up.

I'm not even going to try to explain the PSTD thing cause I feel like I'm not gonna do it justice but I hope you get what I mean.

Chaddick must have become more unsure of himself after AWWP and he must still be trying to fit this new Tedros with the old one that he used to hang out with in Book 1. It would have been a good comparison to show that Tedros has indeed change and grown since then.

Like Chaddick kinda feels like he needs to intervene when Tedros shares a very outrageous suggestion but doesn't know how and kinda ends up in a mess.

Basically imagine Tagatha's problems in QfG and apply to Tedros and Chaddick instead.

And Chaddick would have been suspiscious about Rhian from the beginning. He's a smart savy guy afterall.

So Rhian kinda exploits this and gets the two boys against each other. Because say that Tedros and Chaddick have this big fight propably like the one when Agatha comments that Tedros was being a horrible king but Chaddick's the one that said it instead. Say that this happens around the middle of the Book and it's the final straw between them because they haven't been properly communicating and all the pressure on them. Rhian could easily worm his way to Tedros's side and replace Chaddick nicely. Cause unlile Chaddick, Rhian would make Tedros believe that HE'S the one that believes in him the most.

So they kinda fall apart and Chaddick and Tedros are trying to understand where it all went wrong.

Agatha would try to understand each side and get them to better terms again but she can't do it alone plus a-hole Rhian is butting in.

I imagine that, for me, the logical person that Chaddick might approach on his dilema with Tedros might be Ravan.

Cause the two of them basically think the same way and are usually calm and wise. The only difference would be that Chaddick's more active while Ravan's more passive and choses to observe before making a move. So he calms Chaddick down when he's being too impatient.

Chaddick and Agatha would be talking of course. And I don't know why but I imagine that they're more numb to all the gossip about the three of them especially around each other because they're both sort of level headed and wise then when they're with Tedros individually.

And I imagine this is where the Tagatha drama happens. Only after Rhian cause I wanna be clear that without him, Tagatha would have been fine. He also tries to break them up by saying that Agatha sides with Chaddick and that she doesn't have much faith in Tedros too.

Agatha's going to deny this of course (because it's all bs from Rhian) but Tedros has been too stressed and vulnerable that he sorta starts to believe it and Agatha gets frustrated that Tedros is choosing to believe Rhian when she's known him longer and after everything that they've been through.

But Tedros isn't fully under Rhian's spell. I would have put several times when they would doubt each other especially when Rhian talks crap about Agatha and Chaddick and it would be beserk button for Tedros so Rhian doesn't really go there.

Now Chaddick would be having his little personal battle with himself and Ravan and Agatha would be there to support him and give some advice.

The real kicker would have been when Rhian is adored by Camelot as Tedros's Treasured Knight, someone better than Lancelot and Chaddick kinda has a heartbreaking moment because HE'S supposed to be the one that was known as Tedros's Treasured Knight not this stranger. Not this stranger that stole everything from him especially his best friend.

Agatha hears about this and reflects the time when she gave up her own position as Tedros's queen in TLEA and remembers that Tedros knows her and all her monsters and has been the light to help her fight them.

So she and Chaddick have this talk and she tries to concinve him that Tedros wouldn't want for Chaddick to just give up on him like that. Chaddick thinks about it but is still not completely convinced but Agatha reminds him that Tedros CHOOSE HIM to be his Knight and Liege and they both have to fight for it.

It's Ravan who finally manages to get Chaddick to gear when he asks Chaddick if he's going to regret anything he should choose to either regret letting Tedros go and not fighting for their friendship or make a complete idiot of himself but fight for their friendship instead.

So Chaddick does the latter but everything is too late and the Rhian thing happens as I explained in the first Rants and Remakes post and Chaddick gets tossed into jail with Tedros.

It's in book 5 that I imagine their relationship actually starts to heal itself and they both try to get through everything. I haven't thought of all the kinks out yet but I imagine a lot of fights and Chaddick just kinda shouting what he thinks before he startsvthe regret it and Tedros being this physic and just getting Chaddick too like how he does Agatha.

Again, I haven't thought of everything yet but I'll share it when I do

Now let's move on to Yara

On Yara

Yara would have been more influencial alive then dead and I already explained why how she could have been handled in TLEA cause where I really see exploiting her is in the storyline of TCY.

With the Balance vs Chaos in mind as well as the Lady of the Lake villainess plotline, Yara could have been the answer to this.

She'd be a living reminder of everything that all the characters went through in AWWP and how horribly toxic it is to everyone. Especially those like Yara who lives in the between.

Like with the Lady plotline she would have promoted ultimate purity for both Good and Evil and doesn't believe that each side could be able to understand each other so she thinks that she's promoting Balance that way and that letting each side corrupt the other is Chaos.

She would have believed that Yara is an abomination to the Balance because she is the embodiment of the idea that you can choose some charcteristic from two sides and still be yourself.

Plus with Yara alive the other characters would be forced to rethink their ideals and how to approach this new possibility and reflect on the old ways that have been hurting the ones that are similar to her.

I imagine that Yara's gonna have an internal struggle with this like she's still trying to understand it herself and as she tries to understand it the more that the other characters do as well.

I haven't actually thought out her actual detailed storyline just yet and even though I wanna say more I know that I might butcher her character as I go on but I definitely know her importance to the possible story.

As I explained before, if in TSY was Good VS Evil and that the TCY was about Good AND Evil and how both sides need each other to grow and develop and that the importance of the School still teaching Good and Evil in its most purest form is so that they'd all have a guideline to go by but the curriculum has become more flexible with their beliefs OF Good and Evil and that every student just have shades of grey but choses to go by these either of the two and can still be a Hero or a Villain then Yara could have been the right person to show that it doesn't matter if your not completely on one side and was given the characteristics of the other, it matters what values you choose to follow despite it and how tou choose to use it to help everyone else for the better.

Cause it's canon already that it doesn't matter what they are, it's what they do that counts.

NGL I'm not completely satisfied with how I explained Chaddick and Yara I feel like I didn't do them justice here and I will definitely get back to this when I have organized and fleshed out my thoughts on them

Anyways, if you guys would like to add your own thoughts to this post pls do.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

another reason jere and chris’s relationship is written well (see always: it’s not that hard!! ugh!!! super simple things to do but no we have to have a zillion horribly-handled empty guy/girl relationships!! why not) is just that like.....it doesn’t do that exasperating thing where the girl who is being crushed upon just needs to Notice the guy in the last 10 minutes and it will be like “wow yeah we’re dating now” like the only way to have a positive relationship at all is to be like well i’m your girlfriend now

but like, jeremy and christine actually have A Relationship Development over the entire course of the musical And there are strong suggestions that they have a very parallel experience in terms of how they Like each other, despite jeremy being the one who starts out with a crush while we don’t have reason to think christine has a crush on him at the start of things, but it sure seems like she does start to have this genuine interest in jeremy the whole time even if she isn’t necessarily thinking of it in that way the entire time

like ilpr is a solid and genuine foundation showing that christine can be herself in jeremy’s presence, not even independently of his feedback either, i.e. if he hadn’t responded as positively as he had she probably wouldn’t have been as genuine and open as she was. and we get to see that jeremy experiences this and totally enjoys it, that Reaction when she gets super worked up with the punches and voice all I!! LOVE!! PLAY! REHEARSAL!! is golden thank you william....and like!! they’re kindred spirits!! christine isn’t ~too good~ for him b/c she’s Popular (since she isn’t even officially in the popular group, not even later on when she’s dating jake and considering Jeremy to be popular), it’s that jeremy thinks Absolutely Everyone is too good for him b/c he thinks he’s fundamentally deficient/inferior just As A Person somehow...”like i’m some Normal handsome guy” is really a hell of a verse....anyways the point is that jeremy is in his heart a christine-esque person in terms of the way christine is So Passionate and weird and dramatic and loud!! but jeremy isn’t really aware of this at the time and trying super hard to repress everything abt himself and in being drawn to christine he is recognizing that Quintessential part of himself w/o realizing it

ANYWAYS and at the end of the rehearsal scene jeremy feels put out like once again there’s been a takedown / i just wanna know that christine is aware i’m alive....but she IS aware he’s alive and he HAS made a positive impression on her, he just like, looks at jake as the Epitome Of Popular super appealing guy, (see: jake/jeremy...), and sees himself as the total opposite end of that spectrum, how could anyone like him when jake’s around, and being in such a negative / failure-expecting / self-loathing place that his perspective is skewed and he can’t see that it Wasn’t a total failure in terms of getting christine’s attention

and then! a guy that i’d kinda be into is all like “oh look here’s this love song between christine and jeremy” but then it’s like “syke!! it was christine and jake” but it’s not Really a psykhe because it’s a love song within a love song with the “i guess a part of me etc” section. and jeremy definitely Feels that in the moment but then again gets such whiplash and the whole thing in his mind is eclipsed by once again having it confirmed for him that she’s into jake. but like, of course it’s easy to see why her relationship with jeremy is developing at the same time as she’s interested in jake, b/c there’s no reason for that to be impossible and yknow, once again christine feels like she can be genuine around jeremy and share her real thoughts with him and she Wants and Likes to talk with him. 

and yknow it doesnt help that the squip steps in and is like “its hopeless christine will never like you unless you totally remake yourself” and such, but still, it’s actually going along okay, and jeremy hasn’t even needed the squip to do it. yeah the one incident of him kinda cheating by getting the squip’s help is saying him having a whole Thing at the mall was performance art, but then really it’s all just cancelled out when the squip has jeremy say that he has no reason to join the drama club save his thespianism, and christine is evidently a bit put out by that “why ELSE would i be here”

and then yknow seeing christine liking jake, the center of the whole popular group, and with the squip telling him he needs to be more like those Most Socially Successful people, natch jeremy believes he needs to figure out how to cut it as a ~popular guy~ and then goes off and does that for the rest of act 1 while christine and jake do their own thing

but then Oh The Couch Scene..........it’s so beautiful. and the squip is off and jeremy feels like he’s Messed Up when his impulse is silly and weird....but that’s what he’s really like!! and christine vibes with it and it becomes most obvious that that part of him, the actual Genuine Jeremy part of him, is what’s led him to have what’s arguably his most successful connection with her, just based on sitting down and talking for a second and making each other laugh......like, it Sure Is Something that jeremy learns that christine already thinks of him as popular but just seems to think this divides him from her......this subversion in which now christine thinks of jeremy, who’s supposed to be the loser geek whatever with the unattainable crush, as the out-of-reach Popular Guy......and i like that christine thinks jeremy’s been getting it on with everyone but it just turns into them laughing about her pun. b/c whether he had or hadn’t it’s nice to know christine would not take real issue with that lmao......it’s a great time for someone to express some respect for jeremy’s autonomy. and well anyways!! they have their heartmelting reprise and like. it’s not that christine tells jeremy she doesn’t actually like him and at that point i’m fairly sure that she’s more Aware of possibly maybe liking him. but like!! similar to him she’s been trying out a slightly different version of herself, and it’s just now hitting this roadblock b/c jake in his element here hosting a party w/ all the other popular kids has to be more like his ~Usual~ self than his “i’m also trying new things” self that led to him dating christine.....and, yknow, it’s a lot at once when she’s conflicted abt her and jake and her own sense of identity in general and like, regardless of how she feels about him, right in that moment still at the party of course she’s not gonna feel confident that yes let’s immediately jump into this new relationship. but that doesn’t mean she Doesn’t like him on her own b/c. yknow, their relationship is slowly developing in the background for her even as she focuses on these other things. b/c that’s how it goes sometimes!!

and then yknow the house burns down and everyone’s even more conflicted about everything and jeremy telling christine abt being squipped just freaks her out b/c like, surprise, and b/c yknow, now all these interactions between them which felt very genuine (and were!! the squip doesn’t really direct jeremy at all even if part of the time knowing that it was there gave him this confidence he wouldntve otherwise had, but ilpr / the couch bit was a wholly unsquipt affair) seems like maybe jeremy was just parroting the squips instructions the whole time, and it’s easy to see how that feels like a betrayal, have i said this exact thing before? idk. and then, yknow, her kind of being like “jeremy wtf” is a moment of calibration for him but oh no the squip’s going rogue!! etc. but the fact that it upsets her means her interactions with jeremy held real value to her

and then yknow The Play......first of all? jeremy having the squip for a while means that it’s glitching him up, screwing with his voice and movement, but its still not capable of entirely overriding jeremy’s own commands. thus, presumably, it’s not possible that christine’s 30-second-old squip would be able to force her to do or say something she didn’t want to at all, despite the fact that like, clearly it’s not natural, i really doubt it’s just like the squip mecha-piloting christine’s body and voice. it’s all a bit fuzzy b/c yknow, jeremy’s squip is at the center of the network and everyone’s is being synced to his, and so it seems like jeremy’s squip could tell other ppl’s squip what to do maybe, but it’s hard to say how it truly operates b/c a) chaos and b) jeremy’s squip, a Known Liar, c) is now lying more than ever to try to drag jeremy past the finish line of its plan

but anyways my point is that like. obviously without everyone being squipped, christine at that point would not have just suddenly declared her love for jeremy, and jeremy always Reacts to the weirdness of this and that it doesn’t seem right. but! a)! totally think christine does have her own crush on jeremy at that point. and!! wildly relevantly!! b) the squip just beamed lore from rich’s head (his locker combo) right into jeremy’s via their link, so? if the goal of jeremy’s and christine’s squips was to convince christine asap that Being With Jeremy Would Be Ideal?? why NOT give christine access to jeremy’s real actual feelings for her. she would need convincing anyways, clearly she was just mad at him 3 seconds ago, clearly she was questioning whether any of what she might have thought jeremy felt for her was real!! so it would only work in their favor to let her Know what jeremy’s actual thoughts and feelings are. and then, yknow, if she’s got THAT issue of thinking he wasn’t genuine resolved, and if having her own squip has her like, immediately able to understand why jeremy wanted to have/keep one, and if she’d already had her own Real Feelings for jeremy in the works, and with how she’d probably be questioning her own judgment extra hard anyways thanks to the stress and confusion of the whole Fire problem on top of the vulnerable place she’d already been in re questioning her relationship which she got into while questioning herself.....not super wild to see how she could be convinced vs the squip must totally be forcing her and doing a total system override

but anyways even if, yknow, it IS all of christine’s real feelings at that point like the squip assures him it is in some versions, jeremy recognizes that he doesn’t think it Should be happening this way even if it is supposedly working out in his favor. and then he proves that he’s not gonna let christine stay caught up in his mess and that he prioritizes her like, being allowed to be her own person vs them getting to Be Together, and just icing on the cake that he’s willing to sacrifice himself in a very real way to do that, b/c natch he doesn’t know that the chain reaction thing will happen.........and well then anyways vimh very obvious and even though it’s The Next Scene jeremy’s been legit comatose for however long and christine’s had some time to reflect on events w/o even having the pressure of it being possible to interact with jeremy and been able to make up her collective mind......and anyways the point is that in a lesser piece of media it’d be like “wow thanks for helping me out jeremy, i’ve truly never noticed you but now i’m like cool nice let’s kiss”, but instead it’s that the play and the moment of truth between them and the aftermath is all possible b/c of the way their relationships been developing and the way their individual journeys and their feelings for each other have been awfully parallel in many ways and it’s fitting b/c of that kindred spirits thing and what’s the point of this post? idk. it’s me saying imo christine lowkey has a crush on jeremy already and that this is a way better story than doing the “i didn’t even consider us friends but One Thing happens in the last 20 min to make me go ‘jerry??’ and yeah let’s date now”

what’s my conclusion.......uhhh.......they’re Valid

[tumblunni]

Man i hate how ive kinda lost my enthusiasm for pokemon directs cos of just HOW MANY TIMES ive been dissappointed. Like eventually i calmed down and was able to see that lets go pikavee was actually a more original remake and a genuinely good game in its own right but at the time OH GOD that was like the peak of my absolute no patience with nintendo. Like they had a fuckin sinnoh hint IN THE DAMN VIDEOS RIGHT BEFORE IT, there was that shelf of all the games behind the announcer guy except diamond and pearl were missing. How does that make any sense if he was just announcing kanto?? I really hate how kanto got a SECOND REMAKE before sinnoh even got one. And how much we've been left grasping at straws for any hint that maybe nintendo remembers this goddamn generation. It felt much less bad for the johto confirmed and hoenn confirmed eras, somehow? Like i guess cos those two games were already pretty beloved when they first came out and already get semi frequent mentiona by nintendo. The whole reason sinnoh fans are SO excited for a remake is that its THE GENERATION THAT MIST NEEDS ONE! And the generation that'll most lose out if its remake isnt good. It originally lost out entirely because of shit it cant control-the slow and clunky nature of the engine in game freak's first ds game, the rudimentary nature of early wifi events, getting a bad reputation of being lazy for having so many evos and pre evos OF KANTO POKEMON because nintendo WONT SHUT UP ABOUT GODDAMN KANTO. But it had such a great plot and characters and really could have been so much more if it had the chance it neededd!! Just imagine how much different it could be if it was just on GOOD TECHNOLOGY! And the even gooder fully 3d engine we have nowadays!!!!

And aaagh the wasted character CHARON who is still my fuckin FAVOURITE OF ALL FICTION EVER for REASOJS I CANT EVEN UNDERSTAND because its UP IN THE AIR WHETHER HE'S REDEEMABLE OR NOT because HE WAS IN ONE OF THOSE BAD WIFI EVENTS. Fuckin hell ive been sitting her for a decade compiling Grandpa Is Good Man Evidence like fuckin CHECK OUT THE ORIGINAL JAPANESE SCRIPT AND THIS ONE SOLITARY TRADING CARD hhh everyone please be as obsessed as i am, somehow. I really really hope if we do get sinnoh remakes he's not been removed from them. Cos i mean if they say 'its based on dp instead of platinum" itd make so much less sense than emerald since platinum was straight up a bug patch/completed version of this game they were struggling to get done. The only changes in it are a more expanded version of the story we already had, and also a grandpa. And the fandom fuckin loved Looker and he's already been confirmed canon via repeated cameos over the last decade so they cant say charon doesnt exist too!! But man im expecting something like he's the only one who doesnt get the rescuing he needs in the remake and his whole event is just exactly the same and im still left stuck defending a guy who's ambiguous whether he did have a sad backstory or not. Or worse they'll confirm the sad backstory does belong to somebody else and all my evidence was wrong hhhh. But STILL i"d be super happy just to get a goddamn answer to the question, even if its no! And to see this random comfort character of my early teenage years be brought back in glorious 3d even if they miss the mark and waste him again. I feel worried cos kingdom hearts did the impossible and canonized vexen being good and gave him an even better redemption than i ever imagined and im like NOOO DID I WASTE MY WISH ON THE WRONG GUY?? I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THERE WAS A GENIE LISTENING!!!

Anyway i found The Perfect Rotom Plush in a supermarket on the way back from a stressful day last week and CAN THIS BE A SIGN PLEASE!! Hhh i lost my copy of The One Trading Card when i was cleaning the house but i can hug these two plushie rotoms as i ONCE AGAIN get hyped for a thing i know nintendi wont goddamn confirm and itll just be fuckin lets go third version or kanto remake number 3 hhhhhh

Hhhhhhh

Man i feel bad that i just got into yokai watch cos ALSO it has another loveable grumpy science villain who got canonically redeemed later and i keep feeling like im bringing bad luck upon the grandpa hopes!!! But i guess it makes sense that ive been drawn to similar plotlines that actually contain the good ending potential i saw in this trash man all those years ago...

Anyway in summary

[littleredinmotion]

Skam Austin: Episode 1 Review

Let me just start by saying how much of an odd feeling it was to actually watch a clip in real time and not have to read subtitles. Honestly I’m still getting used to it. BUT I TOTALLY MEAN THAT IN THE BEST WAY BC I CANT BELIEVE THIS IS ACTUALLY A REAL THING THAT HAPPENED.

Okay but here’s my actual review:

Megan (Eva) - I feel like she is really on point with her character. I mean I don’t love her yet but I didn’t love Eva in the first season either and I feel the same way about them both. Nonetheless I am very happy with how she is portraying the character. I loved the twist of how her parents are both there but they are fighting all the time. 

Marlon (Jonas) - First of all this guy looks so much like Ansel Elgort that I’m definitely attracted to him so that may be clouding my judgement... but he doesn’t bother me nearly as much as Jonas did. So far he seems a little less judgmental and rude but idk that one scene where he tried to get out of going to talent night was kinda annoying. Also him bailing on Megan was totally shitty but the whole point of season 1 Jonas was that he was a shitty boyfriend so we all should have expected that. Though Marlon does seem less controlling of Megan than Jonas was of Eva, instead he just seems a bit detached. Almost like he doesnt really care about her. I’m still up in the air about whether I like him or not but I do think the actor was a GREAT choice. 

Shay (Isak) - POSSIBLY MY FAVORITE CHANGE FROM SKAM TO SKAM AUSTIN. Julie is such a genius in being able to tell the same story but basically genderbending the character that drew most people to Skam in the first place. I can’t wait to see how her story turns out and how they are gonna do this whole coming out storyline. It opens up a whole new avenue of possible changes in the story that wont be completely detrimental to overall arc of the plot. BRILLIANT JUST BRILLIANT. Also I really appreciate how Marlon has two friends, Shay and Tyler, instead of just one like Jonas did in the original. It’s more believable. (oh and btw I LOVE Tyler! I think he is hilarious. Almost like the new Magnus or something.)

Grace (Noora) - SHES BEEN IN ONE SCENE SO FAR AND SHES ALREADY THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. I love how she feels sort of different from the original Noora but she still stands out enough that she still has that Noora spark to her (idk if that makes any sense but to me it does). Grace has this sort of quirky cool social reject thing going on that I adore. She really reminds me of one of my best friends which is great bc it proves how realistic the show is. And can I mention how HYPED I am for the quarterback of the football team (at least thats what I’m assuming William will be) to fall in love with her. Its gonna be epic I can already tell. 

Kelsey and Josefina (Vilde and Chris) - P.E.R.F.E.C.T. I dont know if yall have stalked their instas yet but Kelsey is SO VILDE. Like she is totally annoying and naive in that way that you just wanna hug her. It’s also clear that they are gonna touch on the eating disorder thing based off her posts which should be really interesting. And Josefina is LITERALLY BEST FRIEND GOALS. Like seriously I need her to be my bff right now. The scene where she was telling Kelsey how great she was at dancing was so freaking sweet. I am beyond pleased with the casting of these two roles and I can’t wait to see them evolve. (also SUPER HYPED FOR AMERICAN SANA)

Jordan (P Chris) - I mean Herman set the bar pretty high for all the other potential fuckboy Chris’s out there so I can’t say that this new one blew me away. But I still loved seeing him interact because P Chris is one of my favorite characters from the original. Tbh I am pretty upset that it seems like Jordan and Megan may not actually hook up like they did in the original since he mentioned hooking up with her already on Halloween (which is when they hooked up in the original). I think she definitely knew who he was and was trying to ignore that the whole thing ever happened. I think it will be interesting to see how their relationship plays out in this version of the show, especially after the shit that Julie put all the Chriseva shippers through in the Skam finale. Idk if she will still follow through with their relationship in this new Skam or if Julie will scrap it altogether to keep people from falling for them so hard and not for Megan and Marlon. I trust Julie with most things... just not with Chris and Eva... or their American counterparts.

Overall thoughts - So far this is definitely my favorite of the remakes. I may be biased because I’m American but something about this remake just FEELS like Julie. The way it’s filmed and the music that is featured and the social media posts are all such signature traits of classic Julie which I have missed so much. Of course it isn’t the same as the original Skam but it is so clear that this remake is created by Julie which is comes with a certain spark that I haven’t felt from the other remakes. Skam Austin doesn’t just feel like a retelling of the old Skam, it feels like real characters telling the same story of the original Skam just in a different country and culture and language. I think that largely has to do with the way the show looks and promotes itself all the way from the filming to the casting to the social media... the characters feel like real people which is something that I havent felt from the other remakes (even though I do like them) but something about this American cast just feels authentic, which is something I think Julie can be credited for 100%. Also I love that the show takes place in Austin and how the setting of the show is just as big of a character as the rest of the cast is. One of the things I loved about the original Skam that the other remakes failed to pick up on was the importance of Oslo as the setting. Nissen and the streets and backdrop of Oslo was so pivotal to the realistic feel of Skam that I think Skam Austin is doing so well with. The subtle ways that the culture and lifestyle of Texas is portrayed is really beautiful and interesting. This is yet another thing I contribute wholeheartedly to Julie’s mastermind. 

Overall Rating of Episode 1: A- 

[clonerightsagenda]

Posting Gill’s bday fic over here with permission. It’s Rosemary-related and TLC compliant (with a couple of minor spoilers) but should be understandable even with no knowledge of the AU.

This is what you have learned from dating Rose Lalonde. Expect any room to fill up with clutter in her presence. Your attempts to keep things tidy are as effective as holding back the tide. Expect everything to take on the feel of an epic, like you might be summoned onto a world-altering quest at a moment’s notice. It’s like a human fairy tale, but the old kind, not remakes that are all glitter and talking animals. The stories with teeth.

Don’t expect her to say that she loves you.

Don’t take it personally either. That’s what you remind yourself. Rose resists sincerity. When you presented her with the first flowers you’d grown in the new greenhouse (roses; you’d been delighted to learn she’d been named for a flower), she’d laughed uncertainly like you’d unlocked an event she didn’t have a script for. Over the next week, as the blooms withered, they moved around. First you spotted them on the windowsill, then on her bedside table, in this vase or that one, like she couldn’t figure out what place they had in her life.

On the Land of Rays and Frogs, you encountered a puzzle path made of colored lily pads. If you stepped on the wrong one, it would buckle and deposit you in a mini-boss chamber before you returned to the start, weary and wiser. Navigating this relationship feels much the same. Some of your missteps now are the inevitable outcome of two species still learning about each other, but not all of them. After reading Rose’s walkthrough, you’d daydreamed of meeting its author. Now you think you need a walkthrough for her too.

The day after your tumultuous first date, Rose dumped her concoctions down the drain, saying she could embarrass herself perfectly well without the aid of depressants. Not even a week later, she set the equipment up again.

“It might come in handy for medicinal purposes,” she said when you asked her why she’d changed her mind. “Besides, it wasn’t all bad.” She winked. “We got some mileage out of it.”

You blushed, and your rainbow drinker glow briefly flared before you wrestled it under control again. In the first few weeks you hadn’t known how the rules changed when you moved from unofficial to official. Where did you put your eyes, or your hands? What were you allowed to say? “It did make you more forward.”

She laughed, and from the sharpness on her breath you realized she’d already been sampling her experiments. “I can be so fucking uptight sometimes. Maybe we all need to lighten up. Lighten up. Get it?”

“I get it,” you said. But you didn’t.

So you sought clarification from Dave. After you quested through the meteor, lipstick at the ready in case of clown sightings, you found him topside staring back the way you’d come. At the beginning of your journey, you’d taken turns stationing yourselves there, afraid Jack would catch up and resume his rampage when you least expected it. When he didn’t make an appearance, you’d all let your guards down, reducing sentry duty to a quick backward glance now and then. Was he keeping watch for Lord English now?

“Are you watching for Jack?” you asked.

He jumped and tried to cover it with a miniscule adjustment to his cape. “Nah. Watching Skeletor blast everyone to bits.”

“You and Rose have been up here a lot recently.”

“We both came up after the first killing, you know? It was so loud.” He rubbed at his eyes underneath his shades. His skin is a few shades lighter than his sibling’s, and you could see shadows there. “It’s been hard to sleep since then. At least she’s found a way to conk out.”

“About her newfound use of soporifics.” You hesitated, staring up at the flashing lights that were already becoming familiar. It’s amazing how fast you accustom yourselves to the unthinkable. “Is that normal for humans?”

He frowned. (Later, he’d tell you he hadn’t been sure how to respond. “I didn’t want to fuck it up for you two,” he said. “I didn’t think it’d get that bad.”) “Hard to say what’s normal in our situation. Guess a lot of people would pull out a bottle after everything we’ve gone through. Better than sticking a forty-five in your mouth. She’s always been extreme about reacting to things. It’s hard to believe we’re the same damn species sometimes, let alone siblings.”

“I didn’t think an outing with me is so terrible you have to be out of your wits to enjoy it.” You didn’t mean to sound petulant, but his eyebrows rose.

“She doesn’t mean it like that.”

“I thought you didn’t understand her.”

“It would take an institutional thinktank to really figure her out, but I do a little.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. He does that when he’s being serious sometimes. “I think the whole thing freaked her out. Freaks her out, present tense, if you’re officially an item now. Congrats, by the way.”

“Thank you.”

Another spiderweb of cracks blossomed above your heads. You could see them reflected in Dave’s shades as he said, “I don’t think she trusts anyone being nice to her 100%, that’s all. Not even me.”

Rose has been clean for months now in human terms. You both have. The first few weeks of your victory were spent dealing with the effects of abandoning your substances of choice. You stumbled around feeling as if you’d been dipped in concrete, your movements and thoughts slow and ponderous. Rose went days without sleep and flinched away from things the rest of you couldn’t see. Roxy warned you of what to expect, since she’d gone through the process before. She’s also the one who told you to remind Rose to eat. “She’s not gonna want to,” she said. “You feel gross all over and the last thing you want to do is stick more shit in your body, but if you don’t eat you’ll just feel crummier.”

You’d noticed her drinking her meals before, but you’d never brought it up beyond meaningful glances or the pointed placement of foodstuffs in her respiteblock. Rose has always been good at dodging questions. “Do you have any suggestions for a strategic approach? She’ll try to deflect me with witticisms. Her barbs are floppy at the edges right now, but my defenses are equally compromised.”

“That’s a cute way of saying you’re both fucked up.” Roxy shrugged. “I can’t beat her in a war of words, and I wouldn’t try. My advice? Sit on her and force feed her Saltines while telling her it’s for her own good.”

You had been skipping meals yourself. Even after eating normal food, you still felt hungry. Your system wanted something else to satisfy it, so what was the point? Rose latched on to that hypocrisy when you tried to nag her, so you’d end up sitting across the table from each other with plates of leftovers cold from the fridge, matching each other mouthful for mouthful. Whatever worked.

The worst of that is past now. But sometimes she still behaves in ways that make you wonder if after all these sweeps she really trusts you.

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -- GA: Jade GA: Shes Doing It Again GG: whos doing what? :o GA: You Know Who GA: Who Else Do I Come To You In Search Of Explanations For Their Inexplicable Habits GA: Show Some Space Player Solidarity Here GA: There Are So Few Of Us Who View Common Sense As Part Of A Complete Breakfast GG: for everyone else its an optional granola to sprinkle on top GA: The Recipe Said Season To Taste And Im Afraid Theres A Serious Lack Of That In The Premises GA: Ok Can We Cut The Extended Cooking Metaphor Out GG: yeah, it was getting a little meanspirited GA: That Too I Guess Mostly I Didnt Want To Get Stuck Exchanging Culinary Puns GG: ok, what terrible thing is rose doing now GA: She Has Locked Herself In Her Room And Has Been Listening To Her Playlist Designated For Angst For Three Hours GG: lol GG: that behavior cannot stand! GG: except it sort of can, since we all have a right to privacy GG: even if we exercise that right by listening to sad music all day GG: these things cannot be revoked for bad taste GA: Actually Most Of It Has Been Pretty Good GA: Filtering Through The Door Gives It Nice Acoustics GG: maybe you need to give her some... space :D :D :D GA: I Just Want To Know What Upset Her GA: She Says It Wasnt Me But I Dont Know If That Means It Wasnt Me Or It Was Me And I Am Expected To Work That Out On My Own GA: A Reassessment Of The Past Few Days Activities Hasnt Turned Up Anything Suspicious GG: i cant think of anything that might have upset her... GG: ohhhhhhhhhh GG: i think its her moms birthday GG: that might be it GA: How Did You Know GA: Is That Supposed To Be Common Knowledge GG: she complained one time about having to go to a fancy dinner GG: something thrown by her moms colleagues i think??? GG: her mom made her dress up in something frilly, she said she felt like an american girl doll GG: to be honest she sent a picture and i thought it was a cute dress!! GG: definitely not her style though GA: Im Impressed You Remember GG: i try to keep track of these things GG: it was nice hearing about everyones lives, i always wished I could do things like that GG: tell me your lususes birthday, i will put it in my calendar GA: I Never Knew It GA: I Wish Shed Told Me GA: Rose I Mean I Dont Think Wriggling Days Are Important For Virgin Mothergrubs GG: dont take it personally GG: she does it to all of us, and youre her girlfriend so she has to be EXTRA secretive about terrible and compromising things like emotions GA: That Logic Sounds Backward GG: the human mind is a complicated maze of mystery kanaya GA: Sounds Mysterious GG: it is GG: she probably doesnt realize its stressing you out, i know shes trying to be better about that kind of thing GG: you know, COMMUNICATION!! D: GA: No Please Anything But That GG: the achilles heel of our entire household GG: i can bug her if you want GA: No Thats Ok GA: Mostly I Wanted To Make Sure I Hadnt Caused This And Needed To Resolve It GA: If She Wants To Grieve By Herself I Understand GG: if shes still in there by dinner well root her out! GG: there is a limit to how many sad songs are good for your soul GA: Ok GA: In The Meantime Do You Have Any Work That Needs Doing In The Greenhouse GA: Id Like To Keep My Hands Busy GG: theres some stuff that needs deadheading on table three GG: do you want company? GA: No Thats Fine GA: Ill Talk To You Later GG: sure thing! -- ¬¬grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] -- GA: Im Sorry About Your Mother TT: Who told you about that? GA: Jade TT: Figures. TT: Lousy goddamn supportive friends. GA: She Has Said She Will Flush You Out If You Dont Come Down To Dinner GA: Do You Feel Up To It GA: Otherwise I Can Convince Her To Leave You Be GA: She Is Easily Distracted From Her Resolutions If You Know How To Play Your Gaming Rectangles Right TT: No, I'll be there. TT: What time is it? GA: Half Past Five So No Rush GA: Im Still Gardening And Havent Washed Up TT: It might take me that long to get presentable. GA: Was Her Wriggling Day Important To You GA: I Admit The Concept Is New To Me GA: What With Our Ancestors Being So Far Removed From Our Lives And Our Guardians Being Literal Fauna Who Did Not Celebrate Notable Dates TT: It’s probably not even her real birthday. TT: We were all created on the same day, and I doubt anyone was on hand to record when her meteor touched down. TT: She must have picked a day she liked. TT: We used to give each other over-the-top gifts every year. TT: I thought she was being passive aggressive, so I reciprocated in turn. TT: The last year, I thought about getting her a bedazzled martini glass, but I didn’t get around to it. TT: Thank god. TT: I can only hope she interpreted my gestures as sincere as readily as I interpreted hers as sarcastic. TT: Otherwise she must have thought I was the worst daughter imaginable. GA: Im Sure She Didnt Think That TT: I wish I’d given her something better. TT: Something genuine. GA: I Was Working On A New Hat For Nepeta During The Game GA: I Got Some Monster Slime On Her Old One With A Sloppy Chainsaw Maneuver And Even Though She Said It Wasnt The First Time I Wanted To Make It Up To Her GA: And Help At Least One Of My Teammates Diversify Their Wardrobe TT: There’s always an ulterior motive, isn’t there? GA: You Tell Me GA: You Are The Expert In Decoding The Nefarious Meaning Hidden Within Every Exchange Of Pleasantries TT: It’s a secret code, Kanaya. TT: The sixth grader who tossed the newspaper into our yard this morning is working with the KGB. That’s what "Good morning" meant. This is well established in spy manuals. GA: My Knowledge Of Human Subterfuge Is Always Expanding GA: The Hat Was Supposed To Be A Surprise GA: Then I Found It In A Treasure Chest Not Long Into Our Journey GA: Theyre Gone And You Know That But Then You Find Something That Reminds You GA: Oh GA: Ill Never Give Her That Will I TT: I don’t know what I would’ve done if we’d lost anyone from our session. TT: Well, I do know. I have memories from a timeline where we lost half. TT: It wasn’t pretty. TT: I know in a lot of ways we got lucky. GA: Its Not A Contest GA: You Dont Have To Have Had It Worst To Feel Bad TT: I know. TT: But it’s hard. GA: See Look At Us Talking About Our Emotions Isnt That Nice GA: A Horrible Kind Of Nice TT: Or a nice kind of horrible. TT: Either or. GA: The Juxtaposition Is Key TT: I didn't mean to shut you out. GA: I Know You Need Privacy Sometimes GA: I Would Just Prefer To Know Whats Going On So I Dont Have To Worry About Whats Wrong GA: And You Know You Can Talk To Me TT: I know. Intellectually. TT: Is it weird I can trust you all with my life but not always with my feelings? GA: Kind Of GA: But I Get It GA: Were All Weird About Some Things TT: I'm trying to do better. And I'll let you know next time I need to indulge in a three-hour sad jams session so you won't worry. TT: Maybe after I've run through my playlist, we can even talk about it. GA: We Can Sit Awkwardly At A Table Waiting For The Other One To Break The Silence First TT: A tradition. GA: Also I Should Let You Know Its Stir Fry Night TT: Really? TT: You should have led with that. TT: Save me a seat.

As time passes, you all improve with hesitant steps that sometimes send you sliding back, sometimes not. Rose throws herself into her walkthrough, which she plans to distribute to anyone else caught up in SGRUB’s gears. Everyone is on consultant duty to flesh out areas of personal expertise. You, however, are her co-editor, a position of special privilege.

Rose views the work as one more way to help whatever players come after you. Your motivation is less selfless. Once, several sweeps and universes ago, an alien’s words found you and gave you something to hang on to. Somewhere, in a distant galaxy, someone else is being forced to play this game. Maybe your words can reach them, like Rose’s reached you. Working on the walkthrough now lets you build something together in a way that she won’t dismiss as sappy and overdone, a love letter for the universe.

That doesn’t mean you don’t run into difficulties, of course.

TT: Have you had a chance to look over the Prospit chapter? GA: Oh Uh GA: Ive Seen It TT: Did you have any feedback? TT: I'm going to ask Jade too, but I thought I'd give you the first shot. GA: Um GA: I Dont Know TT: Was it that off-base? TT: I know I'm a Derse dreamer, but I tried to be thorough. GA: Its More The Tone GA: You Wrote That Prospit May Look Friendlier But Should Still Be Viewed As An Antagonist Because It Has Ulterior Motives GA: And Maybe Thats True Especially About The Clouds GA: But My Time On The Moon Was The Brighter Portion Of My Childhood GA: And The People Of Prospit Were Always Kind To Me GA: So I Guess The Framing Made Those Memories Feel Kind Of GA: Threatened TT: Oh. GA: It Isnt A Logical Reaction TT: What do you think I should change? GA: I Dont Know GA: Maybe Nothing GA: Youre The Expert Here I Know Im Biased Toward My Moon Whatever Systems It Might Be Part Of GA: We All Take That View About Some Parts Of Our Youth Dont We GA: Even If It Was Part Of Something Bad We Remember The Good Moments GA: We Hold On To The Small Kindnesses TT: …Yeah. GA: You Can Disregard That Feedback GA: Youre The One With Writing Expertise And A Clear Goal In Mind GA: I Dont Really Know What Im Doing GA: Youre Better At This TT: I’m really not. TT: I just put on a more convincing show. TT: Don’t dismiss yourself. You have expertise in areas I don’t. GA: I Guess Im Not As Used To Putting Myself Out There TT: You can come up with a clever pen name. TT: There’s a tradition of vampires spelling their names backward. GA: Im Reformed TT: An anagram then, maybe. TT: Jokes aside, this is a collaborative project. We’ve got a Google doc and everything. TT: I don't want to intergalactically publish anything you're not comfortable with. TT: How about a revision session this evening? I'll bring Lofthouse cookies. GA: The Ones That Are Just Discs Of Sugar And Flour TT: With nary a redeeming nutritional quality in sight. TT: Keep that quiet, though. Jane would kill me if she knew I was smuggling them into the house. GA: Sounds Great Ill Be There

Rose’s typical drafting position is on her stomach with her laptop propped up on the pillow. You prefer to stretch your legs out with your back up against the wall. Thermoses of tea balance precariously between the two of you on the mattress.

“There’s been a lot of activity on the kernelsprite document,” Rose says, flicking through the pages. “Apparently Hal listed “100 advantages of being prototyped” and Dirk replaced it with “Most of this list is either illegal or immoral.” I’m turning track changes on to see what they were.”

You tap your fingers idly on the keys while your own husktop buffers. “Anything good?”

“Get away with murder,” she reads. “That’s cliché, you don’t even have to be a sprite for that. I think he just put it in there to be edgy. He’s trying so hard; you have to respect that. It’s like when I started buying black makeup to try to spite my mother.” She scrolls down further. “Oh, here’s a good one. Clip through the floor.”

“I’ve seen John do it. He’s not as original as he thinks he is.” You peer at her screen. “Eat your enemy’s phone. I’ll give him points for one. It’s not feasible for most mortals.”

Rose reaches across your legs for another cookie. “Sure, if you’re a coward.”

“I’ll accept that designation if it means avoiding a mouthful of circuitry.”

She chews thoughtfully and then flicks a sprinkle off onto the carpet. At least you’re in her room. Still, you feel a compulsion to pick it up. “About what you were saying earlier. I don’t want to contribute to any lingering insecurities.”

The change of topics catches you off guard. “They’re milling around in the lobby, but I’m not letting them upstairs.” You shrug, your shoulders sliding up the wall. “As we’ve been reminding each other, we can’t fix everything about ourselves immediately. I’m more confident than I used to be. I didn’t let Jake talk me into that routine with the glitter.”

“Shame.” She frowns at you, an expression diluted somewhat by a rim of frosting on her upper lip. “I’m not commandeering this project too much, am I? It’s nice to have something to be enthusiastic about again, but maybe I’m getting carried away.”

“No, you’re being very accommodating.” You squirm, smoothing out inconsequential creases in your skirt. Sometimes feelings don’t make sense. But once Rose decides she wants to talk about them, she tries to pin them to the page and dissect them. She does it because she wants to understand and help, the same way she wants to reverse engineer SBURB with words to assist players who come after. That doesn’t make the process any more pleasant when you’re the one on the operating table. “The problem is on my end, in the concern lobby. The lurking insecurities have been taking numbers for a while, and the counter is only up to twelve.”

“Like Inside Out crossed with a DMV? Hellish.” Rose picks up a pen and rolls it between her fingers. She likes to draft things longhand first sometimes. “I remember back on the last day of the game, you said you thought everyone burned brighter than you. You must’ve realized by now that my “burning brighter” is mostly because I have a habit of setting myself on fire.”

You’ll admit you’d been starstruck by the walkthrough’s mysterious author. It had been nice to harbor a new secret crush once Vriska was a lost cause. And you’d first met Rose face to face as a newly risen goddess bathed in the luminescence of the Green Sun. She’d seemed ethereal and beyond you.

Then, after the first few hours of sorting out living arrangements and watching Karkat roam around yelling for Gamzee to give the bodies back, she’d announced she was going to “sleep for a fucking week” and faceplanted into the nearest rug. Dave didn’t help beyond alchemizing some safety cones and setting them up around her. That had helped a little. So had seeing what her hair looks like in the mornings. “If you’re worried I have some unattainable vision of you set on a mental altar, rest easy. But you did restructure the multiverse with nothing but nerve, so I might still want your autograph a little.”

Rose brandishes the pen. “Only on the condition I get to sign your bra.” When you wave her away, she drops it on the pillow. “Spearheading the multiverse operation is one of my prouder accomplishments, I’ll admit, but my violet-tinged authorial prowess is entirely due to thinking I was hot shit as a pre-teen on the Internet. Besides, if we’re talking bragging rights, you fixed reality. Not to mention put up with us idiots for three years.”

“That was a struggle.” At times you’d wondered if you were the only one on the meteor keeping ahold of your wits. “Remember when the ceiling panels gave way and Gamzee fell onto the table?”

“Not our best group dinner. But you see, I’m a mess. You’re the one who has her act together.”

You frown. Being praised for your stability is a sore spot of yours. Yes, you’d been the one to bear everyone else’s struggles. That doesn’t mean you liked it. “I had to. Someone did. It got tiring after a while, though.”

Rose winces. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. You shouldn’t have had to. But it is impressive that you did.”

“You were sick,” you say, in response to her apology.

You see her shoulder blades rise and fall in a muted shrug. “I know. But that doesn’t mean you should have had to deal with it.”

“I guess…” Maybe you’re the one who’s prompted her to speak up, but you struggle with your words too. Troll culture teaches you that open exchanges of feelings are for moirails. Palemates are the only people you can trust the depths of your soul to, if you can truly trust anyone at all. Humans don’t compartmentalize in the same way. You can see the benefits of that system, but you still fear saying the wrong thing will push her away. “You undercut yourself to tell me I’m better than I think I am. But if I’m already worried about measuring up to some standard, that just pushes us both lower. Do you see what I mean?”

“The self-deprecation’s not cute. Got it.” She twists around in what is probably some kind of advanced yoga pose to look you in the eye. “But you shouldn’t undersell yourself either, ok?”

When she doesn’t break eye contact, you nod reluctantly. “This is a very affirming argument we’re having.”

She reaches over and prods you with the pen. “I’m channeling Jake. Believe in yourself.”

You smile. “It’s hard to resist, these days.”

When you’re done for the evening, Rose captchalogues her laptop and you troop out. Everyone has their own room, but all of you tend to spend more of your nights in the common area curled up in armchairs or slumped over each other on sofas, within easy sight of each other when you wake from bad dreams. After a few weeks of intentionally lingering there until you fell asleep, you made it official and filled the whole room with soft materials like a huge communal pile. Terezi even taped up democratically-determined regulations. Rose spends some nights curled up next to you with her face shoved so close against your neck you wonder how she can breathe. Sometimes, though, she retreats to a corner with a pillow at her back like a wall. You know not to approach her then.

Tonight, she finds an empty patch of floor and drops down on it. You lower yourself next to her.

“Are you happy with the chapter now?” she asks.

“I’d like to give it another pass tomorrow, but it’s much better.”

“And everything else?”

“That’s better too.”

“Good.” She gives you a peck on the lips and, when Terezi wolfwhistles, flips her the bird and kisses you for real. You kiss her back, until… You pull away.

“Are you wearing my lip balm?”

“Maybe.” She purses the lips in question. “It’s got a good flavor.”

“I was wondering where that went. You know, you could have just asked to borrow it.” Grudgingly, anyway. She has a terrible habit of licking the stuff off and then reapplying it to start the cycle anew.

Rose raises an eyebrow. “You offered to do my laundry so you could steal my favorite shirt.”

You think, with only a modicum of guilt, of the shirt you have stashed behind the laundry basket in your closet. “It’s very soft.”

“I’m never getting that back, am I?”

“Probably not.”

She sticks her tongue out at you and pulls a blanket over her shoulders. “Night.”

“Good night,” you say. That’s the only endearment you exchange.

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] -- GA: Karkat GA: Karkat Answer Your Phone I Know You Can See This GA: Youre Looking At It Right Now CG: YEAH I SURE AM. CG: I'M STARING AT THIS MARVELOUS HUNK OF PLASTIC AND ELECTRICITY IN MY HANDS AND REFLECTING ON HOW IT GRANTS US THE ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER FROM ANY DISTANCE. CG: SUCH AS, FOR EXAMPLE, EIGHT FUCKING FEET AWAY. GA: This Is Private CG: I DIDN'T KNOW WE HAD A CONCEPT OF PRIVACY ANYMORE. CG: COLOR ME SURPRISED, SO SOME THINGS ABOUT OUR LIVES *AREN’T* SUPPOSED TO BE COMMON KNOWLEDGE? GA: It Might Help If You Spoke With Any Kind Of Discretion Or Volume Control CG: NOT AN OPTION. CG: CARRY ON. GA: Youve Watched A Lot Of Human Romances GA: What Is The Appropriate Interval Before Affirmations Of Matespritship Are Exchanged GA: You Know Like GA: Uh CG: "I LOVE YOU"? GA: Yes That CG: THE FIRST STEP IS BEING ABLE TO TYPE IT INTO A PRIVATE CHAT SESSION WITHOUT BLUSHING. CG: I CAN SEE YOU OVER THERE. GA: Dammit GA: What Is The Waiting Period Here Like Three Sweeps CG: SO I GUESS SHE HASN'T DONE IT YET? GA: Well GA: Not Sober GA: She Was Quite Eager To Confess Admiration While On Soporifics GA: To Everyone And Everything Including Inanimate Objects GA: Im Not Sure Such Exchanges No Matter How Heartfelt Can Be Considered Fully Genuine CG: YOU'RE IN LUCK, A LOT OF HUMAN FILMS COVER THIS IN DEPTH. CG: IF YOU WANT I CAN ARRANGE A VIEWING SESSION WITH SOME MORE INFORMATIVE SELECTIONS. GA: That Might Be Fun GA: But Mostly I Would Appreciate Some Friendly Advice GA: As Educational As Im Sure The Latest Work Starring Anne Hathaway Would Be CG: AN EXECUTIVE SUMMARY IS: CG: IT USUALLY DOESN’T TAKE THIS LONG. CG: BUT THE CHARACTERS INVOLVED ARE OLDER, THE SAME SPECIES, AND HAVEN’T BEEN THROUGH A WAR, SO IT’S NOT A REPRESENTATIVE SAMPLE. CG: ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT IT? GA: Not Exactly GA: I Know The Sentiment Is There GA: If Anything I Just Hope She Feels Comfortable Enough She Knows She Can Be Open With Me GA: Shes Trying But I Can Tell Its Still Difficult For Her CG: DAVE SAYS "its obvious shes crazy about you" SO NO WORRIES THERE. GA: Why Is Dave Part Of This Conversation CG: HE WALKED OVER AND LOOKED AT MY PHONE OVER THE BACK OF THE SOFA. CG: LIKE I SAID. PRIVACY = ZERO GA: Hi Dave CG: HE SAYS HI. GA: I Saw Him Wave GA: Now Tell Him To Go Away CG: AND HE’S GONE. CG: THE CHAT IS CLEAR OF FUTURE BROTHERS-IN-LAW. GA: Future What CG: THAT’S WHAT YOU’LL BE IF YOU AND ROSE GET "HUMAN MARRIED". CG: THE RITUAL MAKES YOU FAMILY WITH THEIR ENTIRE FAMILY. CG: I’M PRETTY SURE IT WAS HISTORICALLY DESIGNED TO ACQUIRE ECONOMIC AND POLITICAL ADVANTAGES. CG: YOU KNOW, KIND OF LIKE HOW INTERCASTE MOIRALLEGIANCES CAN AFFORD LOWER CASTES PROTECTION. CG: BUT IN MODERN TIMES MOSTLY IT MEANS YOU’RE STUCK WITH THOSE CHUCKLEFUCKS FOR LIFE AS A PACKAGE DEAL. GA: Oh No CG: OH YES. GA: Karkat I May Be Rethinking This Whole Venture CG: TOO LATE, I’M GOING TO BE YOUR BEST MAN. IT’S ALREADY DECIDED. GA: What Is A Best Man GA: Is It Whoever I Have Designated If I Were For Some Reason Obligated To Wed Someone Of That Gender CG: NO. CG: THE MOVIES AREN’T ENTIRELY CLEAR ABOUT THEIR ROLE, BUT IN GENERAL THEY GIVE HEARTFELT SPEECHES AND PROVIDE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT. GA: Maybe I Want Jake To Be My Best Man GA: He Can Recite Touching Monologues Ripped From The Silver Screen CG: YOU HAVE NO SAY IN THIS WHATSOEVER. CG: (YOU KNOW I’M JOKING, RIGHT?) GA: I Figured GA: Although I Wouldn’t Put It Past You To Try To Plan That Kind Of Thing Out For Me CG: HEY IF YOU EVER WANT IDEAS, I CAN THROW SOME OUT THERE. CG: YOU’RE WAY TOO YOUNG FOR THAT KIND OF THING THOUGH. CG: AND WE STILL HAVE TO GET YOU FROM POINT A TO POINT B, WHICH INVOLVES TRAVERSING THE ROCKY TERRAIN OF EMOTIONAL HONESTY, WITH WHICH I HAVE HAD NO PAST PROBLEMS AT ALL. CG: YOU COULD ALWAYS SAY IT FIRST YOURSELF I GUESS. CG: UNLESS YOU THINK THAT’LL MAKE HER EVEN MORE NERVOUS? GA: It Might GA: Outright Displays Of Emotion Embarrass Her She Relates It Too Much To Her Drunken Excesses And Those Of Her Mother GA: If I Can Be Permitted To Psychoanalyze Here GA: Shes Admitted As Much CG: THEN… LET HER KNOW SHE CAN FEEL COMFORTABLE? CG: THAT DOESN’T SOUND VERY EXCITING, BUT MAYBE IT DOESN’T HAVE TO. CG: THEY MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT IN THE MOVIES BUT I THINK AS LONG AS YOU’RE BOTH ON THE SAME PAGE WHETHER THOSE THREE EXACT WORDS HAVE ESCAPED YOUR QUIVERING CHUTE FLAPS DOESN’T MATTER ALL THAT MUCH. CG: THERE ARE OTHER WAYS TO SHOW YOU CARE. I’M PRETTY SURE YOU’VE GOT THAT COVERED. CG: MOVIES AREN’T ALWAYS THAT REALISTIC ABOUT WHICH PARTS OF A RELATIONSHIP ARE A FEDERAL FUCKING ISSUE VERSUS WHICH PARTS ARE NEGOTIABLE. GA: !! CG: YEAH YEAH RUB IT IN. CG: SO I RELIED ON THEM A LOT, IT’S NOT LIKE I HAD MUCH PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. GA: I Shouldnt Criticize This Was Helpful GA: Thanks For Listening GA: And I Would Like To Watch Movies With You Sometime If That Offer Is Still On The Table CG: DEFINITELY. CG: I’LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN I’VE GOT A GOOD LINEUP PULLED TOGETHER.

A few days later, Rose wanders into your room unannounced and flops onto the bed. This isn’t uncommon behavior, so you keep sorting through your clean laundry. Her cat behaves similarly, insinuating himself into a room as if he belongs there. It’s a lazy confidence you envy. “We should go out,” she says, directing her words at the ceiling.

“We should?” you ask, holding two socks up to see if they match. They don’t, exactly, but they are a pair. Rose knitted them for you herself. They’re lumpy and awkwardly shaped, and you treasure them.

“We were going to do something fun after the game, remember? That was the plan. But we've both been sick, and outside is...” Rose waves toward the window and the world it serves as a barrier against. “Outside, so we haven't gotten around to it. But we should. You’ve been in your room a lot. It’ll do us both good.”

Drat. Your downturns aren’t as explosive as the others’. Sometimes you simply withdraw, spending more time on your own while a mental screen descends between you and the world, distorting it like a blur filter. There’s nothing wrong with you, exactly; it’s just that you don’t have the energy. That’s not bad, right? There are worse things than numbness. “What were you thinking we could do?”

She sits up halfway and then flops back down again. The pillows bounce. “I was hoping you'd have some ideas.”

You twist the socks together and toss them into the appropriate drawer. “The only thing I remember suggesting was outfits without sleeves.”

“Compelling, but not really something to make a date out of.” Rose frowns. “Have we ever... had a normal date? By regular people's standards?”

“Troll or human?” You shake your head. “I don't think any species would give us a passing grade.”

“Earthworms might be impressed.”

You pout. “You've never taken me to any good plots of soil.”

“We'll do that next time. For now, Jane said someone needs to do the shopping.”

“You know how to sweep me off my feet.”

Rose, still prone, waves a list in your direction. “It'll be fun. We get to pick which flavor of potato chips we want, and everyone else has to live with it.”

If Alternia had anything like supermarkets, they hadn’t spread near your oasis. For all that your caste can stand the sun, the electric lights hurt your eyes. They’re too bright – a harsh white that makes all the bright colors look flat and artificial. You reach for Rose’s hand, and she squeezes it. “I appreciate the support,” you say, “but I wanted to see the list.”

“Oh. Right.” She brings it up for both of you to consult. “Does Jade know how expensive beef is? She’s really running us through it.”

“She’s been talking about growing vegetables for the household. It’s too bad she can’t raise her own cows.”

“Don’t give her ideas. She wouldn’t be able to bring herself to butcher them, not after we’d named them all.” Rose leads you to the back of the store and scoops up slabs of meat packed into tidy foam and plastic containers. The setup is so clinical your residual rainbow drinker instincts don’t even twitch. It’s a far cry from the Alternian pastime of slicing your dinner up while it’s still wriggling. “We need milk,” she begins, and trails off after she pivots to the left. “It was that way in my old store. But they must not follow a common plan.”

Rose looks unmoored now that her navigational confidence has been broken. A lot of the humans are like this, wavering when their world doesn’t behave the way they think it should. It’s almost easier for those of you who expect foreign ways and customs. It’s harder to be a stranger in your own home. “We’ll wander,” you say, and steer her firmly by the shoulder.

By a combination of trial and error and studying signage like relics of a lost civilization, you manage to gather everything on the list. The only problem comes when you pass a series of shelves stacked with bottles, and Rose stiffens. It takes a moment for the pieces to fall into place – you’ve never seen wine packaged in its original containers before.

”Come on,” you say, linking your arm with hers. “Help me test which limes are ripest.”

You have to tug for a moment before she comes with you. You don’t think she’s planning to make a running leap for the vintage. If anything, she looks like she does when there’s an enemy sighted, wary and ready to spring. If she destroys several wine racks with a blast of divine light, that’ll probably go on your bill.

”Sorry,” she says, once you’ve made it to the produce section. “At my old store, it was in a separate room. Not out in the open.”

You lean toward her a little, so your shoulders press together. “It took you by surprise.”

She leans back. “Like pulling down your sheets and seeing a spider in your bed.” You see a dot of blood on her lower lip. She must have bitten it. “It must be harder for you. There’s no getting away from all that blood walking around on two legs.”

”It’s easier not to slip up, though.” You reach over with your free hand and dab at her cut, wiping the smear on the side of your shirt. “They’d make a fuss if I tried to sample it.”

”That’s what recovering alcoholics need.” She swipes at her mouth herself, but the wound is already closing. “Wine bottles that scream when you open them.”

”You’ve uncovered a new industry.”

”I need to patent it immediately.”

You squeeze her arm before letting go. If she’s making jokes, that’s a good sign.

Rose perks up when you’re heading toward the checkout. “Hang on. We have to stop by the natural foods section.”

”We do?” You check the list again. There’s nothing left on it.

”You never know,” she says. Now it’s her turn to drag you along. “The cure to all our life’s problems might be hiding next to the apricot kernels.”

Her tone is mocking. “Is there something wrong with natural products?”

”Not on their own. Jade says a lot of processed food upsets her stomach after growing up without it. But some people will pitch organic to you as the cure for cancer, and if you’re telling me you feed your four-year-old Goji berries instead of getting him vaccinated, I think you’ve opened yourself up to public disdain.” Rose plucks a box of tea off the shelf. “Look at this one. It says it’ll revitalize your body and restore harmony to your thoughts. All for twelve dollars, too.”

”Sounds like a deal.”

”It would have its work cut out for it with us. Hey, if I drink Sleepy Time and Stay Alert blends at the same time, what do you think will happen?”

”You’ll shed your corporeal form and ascend to a being of pure consciousness, and that would be a shame, because I like your face.” You retrieve the boxes and put them back before she decides to do product testing. “Apparently these exotic grains cure depression with their wholesome vitamins and minerals.”

”Buy the whole shelf.”

She’s right; some of these products are ridiculous. The two of you are giggling over asparagus water when a middle-aged woman pushes past you with her shopping cart. A highblood couldn’t look down their nose better. “Are you girls done with that?” she asks.

”Definitely,” Rose says, straight-faced. “I’d recommend it. It made us gay.”

Rose did the talking there, and you were too busy laughing to think of how to react. But when you get to the cashier, your tongue twists in your mouth. You stammer through pleasantries until Rose rescues you and completes the transaction. You drift away while she's collecting the bags, pretending to peruse the week's advertisement flier.

“She was pretty,” Rose says when she joins you, groceries in tow. “Is that why you were stuttering?”

You take half the bags from her. It would have been polite to help her carry them from the conveyor belt, but you needed to escape. “Was she? I didn't notice.”

She nudges you with a conspiratorial grin. “You don't have to play coy. I won't get jealous.”

“I'm not playing coy.” You shift one of the bags over your wrist, and something inside crinkles. Hopefully you didn’t break anything. “Her face was a blur. I panicked.”

Rose’s smile fades. “I’d forgotten you could be shy.”

The automatic doors whoosh open as the two of you approach. You sidestep a mother and her offspring going the other direction. “When you grow up on an oasis where your nearest neighbors are the shambling undead, you're a little cautious of strangers.”

“But willing to send them messages on Pesterchum questioning their intelligence and morals.”

She printed your first conversation logs off and stuck them to her wall, which you find equally endearing and annoying. Every time you see them, you itch to pull out a pen and make edits. “That's different. We weren't face to face. And... this is all new, here. I worry they'll be able to tell.”

“That they'll scream “Space invader!” and cart you off to a top secret facility?

”I’m sure it’s funny to you,” you say with a sniff, starting across the parking lot. “They won’t dissect you.”

She smiles again – you meant her to; the dissection at least was a joke. “I get nervous too. Not as much now after everything we’ve been through, but I’ve always been hyperaware of social situations. But I tend to take the ‘don't get scared; get angry’ approach.”

You recall how she marched up to the conveyor belt and slammed down her purchases. “I did wonder if you were going to challenge the salesperson to a strife.”

“Chalk it up to the childhood narcissism. I always felt like everyone was passing judgment.”

You accidentally make eye contact with a man stepping out of his vehicle and redirect your gaze at Rose’s collarbone. “Like everyone's watching.”

She nods. “And that's not true. They have their own problems and couldn't care less what we do. We're not important to them. In this case, that's reassuring.”

You’re surprised she finds it comforting. You’re happy to fade into the background; Rose likes to be noticed. You’d never realized it frightened her too. “What a pair we make,” you say.

“Between us, we add up to one functional person.”

You pull open the car door for her with a flourish. “I'd be generous and say at least 1.5.”

A few of the humans have been working to get their licenses so Jane’s father doesn’t have to drive them everywhere. Rose only has a permit, but that doesn’t stop her from using the car. Seer powers let her know if there’s likely to be trouble, but otherwise she drives like she’s got a grudge against the pavement. She peels out of the parking spot and then slams on the brakes. You hug a carton of eggs to your chest so they don’t splatter against the windshield. “What is it?”

”We have cold bags for everything, right?”

”Yes.” It was overkill for a short trip, but you prefer to be prepared.

She pulls into the store’s partner gas station while you wave apologetically at the elderly woman she just cut off. “This is a date. We’re going to get coffee.”

The coffee machine is broken, so you both get 99 cent slushies and sit on the curb next to the free air pump. The parking spot is empty save for a mulch of cigarette butts and ripped up Lotto tickets. Rose slurps some of her concoction out of a straw. It’s a murky mess, and you spotted her squirting a few shots of energy drink in for good measure. You spent several minutes painstakingly creating a rainbow pattern and are now trying to drink evenly to keep the layers intact. A bag of chips slumps half-empty between you. They’ll complain about that back home, but it’s their fault for not coming along to supervise.

Rose sucks on her straw with a noise like a drain unclogging. “How’s this for romance and adventure?”

“I could do it again,” you say. And you could. The encounter with the cashier still leaves you shaken, but the haze has peeled off the world. It’s funny how after everything you’ve been through, something as simple like this can be energizing. There are groceries in the car that need to get back and a household worth of responsibilities to keep up with, but right now it could just be the two of you setting off on some new adventure. Rose has always made you feel that way. Light players make the world narrow around them, drawing in attention, compressing possibility. They’re a lantern you bump against, entranced. With Rose, you’ve found one that doesn’t burn.

”Well shit, these were ninety-nine cents.” She smirks in the way that means you’ve missed a joke. “I think our budget can afford it.”

”Thank you for dragging me out here.” Lurking in your room seems silly now. “It helps, borrowing your confidence.”

”It’s a show,” she says. “I don’t know how you manage to seem so centered all the time.”

”Amateur theatrics,” you say. “One functional person, here we are.” She raises her drink in a toast, and you knock them together. ”I mean it, though,” you continue. “It’s nice, the way you turn things into adventures. Even if it’s a shopping trip, I don’t know where we’re going to end up. It’s unpredictable, but I like it. I like spending time with you.”

She smiles and looks away. Whenever you’ve successfully induced emotions, she never wants to look you in the eye. “That slushy must have made an impression.”

”It was good.” You flick the straw, sending drops of condensation scattering across the asphalt. “We didn’t have anything like this at home, at least not where I grew up. That might explain part of the rapturous response. But mostly I think it’s because I love you.”

Rose stills. That might be a bad sign, but you’ve gotten yourself into this situation, so you might as well keep going. “I’m not trying to corner you,” you say, looking down at your knees. “I know you have difficulty expressing some things. But I wanted to express that. Right now.”

When you sneak a look over, her shoulders are shaking. The ice from your drink solidifies in your stomach until you realize she’s laughing.

”Do you know how long I’ve been agonizing over this?” she asks.

”I knew why,” you begin. “Your mother…” That’s not a complete sentence, but it doesn’t have to be. Sometimes you want to ask John to transport you into Rose’s past so you can grab the woman by her shoulders and shake her. “How could you be so careless?” you want to demand. “Didn’t you realize what you were doing?” You are all the results of what has been done to you, combined with your attempts to overcome it. Even with your universes gone, their impressions remain as indelible parts of you. You wouldn’t want Rose to be anything other than who she is, but that doesn’t stop you from wishing she could have gotten something better growing up.

“That was what started it.” Rose takes a gulp of her drink. The humor drains from her voice. Now she’ll look you in the eye. “She’d vanish into her laboratory or a drunken stupor and leave me to fend for myself. The first time I tried cooking spaghetti I set off the fire alarm. I couldn’t get it to stop until I climbed up on a chair and took the batteries out. She slept through the whole thing. So when she turned up with a new present, how could I believe it was sincere? And even if it was, it didn’t make up for anything. If all you can give is the trappings of love, like you’ve bought out a Valentines’ clearance sale but can’t be damned to raise your own child, it doesn’t count.” She sloshes the remains of her drink around with one hand and watches it like she’s reading tea leaves. “So I guess I distrusted all of it. The glitz, the performance, anything. Even the words. Because if you do it right, they should know. But… in the past I’ve been guilty of overcorrecting.”

“Really?” You try to keep your tone teasing. Anything else might alarm her.

She elbows you in the ribs, but not hard. “Sometimes I’ve turned the wheel a bit and drifted over the dividing line between reasonable responses and terrible decisions by a few millimeters.”

“I think a driving instructor might say you sailed over the median, engaged with oncoming traffic, and left the highway entirely for parts unknown. What?” you add. “I’ve read the manual you’re all practicing from.”

“Five dollars says you pass the test before I do. After the timeline John made unhappen, I realized I’d never told you. For all the wrong, stupid reasons. I shouldn’t have let any of that stop me. I would’ve died with that as one of my greatest regrets. So I wanted it to be perfect, since I made you wait so long.” She covers her mouth with one hand and smiles through her fingers. “God, you should see my search history. I watched promposal videos, although I wiped all that data and I’ll deny it if you tell anyone. And here we are –” she pauses and shakes her head - “in a gas station parking lot. But you know what? I think it fits.” She slings an arm around your shoulders and plants a sticky kiss on your cheek. “I love you. Let’s make it count.”

This is what you have learned from dating Rose Lalonde. Expect your lives to accumulate the clutter of experiences together – receipts and stolen shirts and empty packages still streaked with frosting. Expect to make missteps, because the two of you are walking an uncharted path one step after another. Sometimes you fall, fight your demons, and climb back up again. You are all doing this for the first time.

Expect her to say she loves you in unexpected ways. A new package of lip gloss left on your pillow. A flower pressed between the pages of a heavy book to make it delicate and perfect. Occasionally, the words.

Make it count.

[heavyyhearts-blog]

actually heres my side

“ first, before getting to real stuff, aya has done this to other people in the past too. when she talked about them to me she said they abused her or abandoned her suddenly. i’ve only talked to one of these people, but they confirmed that aya actually abused, and then stalked them when they cut her off. i don’t have permission to post these logs so out of respect i won’t put them here. “

ive never been very clear in talking about my past experiences with most people. you make this sound as if every person that's ever "abandoned me" were all "abused" by me, when that's not the case. have i acted in shitty ways to some people? yes, but it never had anything to do with me being abandoned, at any point. one of these people, actually straight up disappeared from my life, and i have no idea why. they disappeared off skype and i havent seen them since. we had no problems between eachother whatsoever. a different example i can think of for someone i was talking about? they left because i was too stressful to be around. as in, i always complained too much and that kind of thing and it was too much to be around. i didnt even know them very long.  another example of a person i mentioned with that: they had really bad schizophrenia and like, trauma issues, and what happened there? they'd randomly like? actually start basically splitting on me and getting extremely angry at me out of nowhere for no reason, which i tried to be really tolerable of, until things basically got too much for either of us to handle and after a bit of dumb drama, we separated with , i believe, no hard feelings.

my point being? when i say "ive been abandoned by a lot of people" or whatever, im not literally claiming that i was abused by literally everyone and im some huge victim, lol. that last example? you could probably say i was abused due to the level of pent up anger they were throwing at me, , unprovoked

“ i’ve only talked to one of these people, but they confirmed that aya actually abused, and then stalked them when they cut her off “

first of all, this happened literal years ago. second of all, this person is still full of shit and i can't believe they still insist all of these bullshit lies. "aya stalked me" i hadnt visited your blog for months, i'd literally forgotten about you, yet you somehow still had it set in your head that i was "stalking" you. i wanted to remake my blog for a multitude of reasons, and one of them being, a more back of my mind thing, was, i didnt want you viewing my blog. so i remade. and, like, 2-3 days later, i got paranoid that you had somehow found my new blog, entirely new, so i asked my friend to go see if my new url was on there, because i didnt want to go back on your blog myself. and sure enough, there it was, my new url, even though i hadn't given it out to anyone or posted it anywhere, meaning you literally searched through notes of a post or something along those lines to find it. yeah ive explained this so many times now its fun :) not to mention your shitty friend(s) that would constantly twist my words around and lie saying i was doingthings that i didnt. and your only "proof" was logs of talking shit about me behind my back to one of my friends, you had no screenshots of me doing anything, because guess what, i never did it. wow. "i dont have screenshots because i deleted them all" okay bud. anyway

and now here's my main issue with everything: you are "calling me out" for things we have already personally talked about, that we either resolved, or i apologized for/said that i would try to stop doing so i can better myself which i have actually done? so i literally do not understand why youre calling me out for shit as if im some malicious person trying to hurt people that's just completely incapable of getting better or whatever. lets start

“i’ve tried to cut her off several times, both by trying to talk and express my want to stop talking to her first and by just blocking/ignoring her on everything. i made it clear i wanted to stop talking the first couple of times. she will spam and beg me and make new accounts if she has to. once ive added her back however she’s used that against me”

okay youre calling me out for this but you admitted what you did was fucked up too? and i dont know what else to even say to this other than im going to try to stop getting so attached to people like that so i maybe dont have such bad mental breakdowns every time i thnk someone close to me is leaving like sorry i cant. help feeling that way or control this thing specifically unless i just dont get attached like that at all, which is my fault.

[x] [x] [x]

here, you post a completely out of context rant from me, where i got mad at something you did that you literally admitted was fucked up. full context!

[x] [x] [x] [x] [x]

you even told me you had no idea what you were talking about with any of it.

“ one of the times that we weren’t talking she DMd my twitter mutuals asking them to screenshot my recent tweets. “

i told you my reason for it. i was extremely paranoid that you were talking shit about me behind my back and i wanted to know if you were or not, even though i did it in a really shitty way. i instantly felt so beyond terrible that i had done that. i was sobbing the entire time i was trying to apologize for how fucked up and wrong it was of me to do that, and even apologized for it again later after it had happened already. because i wanted to make sure you knew how sorry i was for it. i cant take something like that back.

[x] [x]

“recently, after getting so upset with me for doing the same thing in the past, she randomly blocked me on everything and refused to talk to me. i would understand if she hadn’t previously gotten so mad and upset at me for the exact same thing. “

?? i split really bad just like i already have been, due to , as i've already exlpained, the nonstop bad things we've had between us for months, to the point i havent been able to talk to you like normal anymore, because just seeing you pisses me off and everything you say/do will just piss me off. i cant help that. its not my fault. i cant just not split like that because we've had fucked up problems for months, that, guess what, shouldnt even be public here for all reasons ive already stated! but i also did it just because ive been deciding i need to get away from you for good, that i dont WANT to talk to you at all anymore. sucks to be treated the way you treat others right.

“ i posted on my twitter saying i wanted to drink and she instantly messaged me begging and spamming me not to “

and everything else like stalling, pressuring you etc. this is still. we talked about this. i said sorry. i got better about it. why do i have a callout.

[x] [x]

like this is literally all just trying to make me look bad in ways that i'm not. nice try, though!

“ when i cc’d bakugou and she tried to make me explain my trauma to make it Valid “

you're trying to make me look bad again. i was just asking because i was anxious wanted to know the reasoning for it and im sorry for pressing it at all but that doesnt mean i was trying to make you explain it so it could be "valid" shut the fuck up lol i even explained to you afterwards why it made me so uncomfortable and that it didnt bother me anymore, that i thought you were just blindly cc'ing him for no real reason like i just assumed it wasnt a coping thing or anything and thats my fault but??? youre trying to make me look bad for it so??? i'd even keep sending you fanart of him like.

[x]

“ she was extremely dependent on me and would spam me if i fell asleep before she woke up, she’d got upset and started splitting on me because i didn’t return her feelings of attraction. “

wat...

“ second, she’s blaming everything on her BPD and “not being able to help it,” or “can’t control herself” “

well, as you can clearly see, ive been anything but that??? but if you wanna keep telling yourself that, go ahead. have i said things LIKE that before? yes, when i was freaking out, over certain things i actually can't help, for example: abandonment trauma??? and like i said before: i need to try to not get so attached to people in the first place so that doesnt happen anymore! otherwise, should some sort of situation like that happen again, i can't handle getting that level of upset. so i prevent that by not getting that level of attached at all. like sorry but theres certain things nobody can help, even you. you're just trying to make it sound like this entire thing has been nothing but "i cant help it"

and lastly, we can't forget the fact that, for a long time, you wouldn't tell me anything. literally anything. i would repeatedly ask you. "what do i do that bothers you what am i doing wrong" etc and all you'd ever say was "idk" 95% of the time. i had absolutely no idea that for the longest time, i had been saying a lot of manipulative, shitty things and acting bad and etc, slash i had no idea that some of my episodes were actually affecting you that badly until way too late.

when you first told me that i had been acting so shitty, through a jpeg meme that was making fun of me, did i realize how awful i was being. i honest to god never had any idea and i explained this to you countless times. that i was  oblivious/i can be oblivious to shitl ike that and that i need you to tell me, otherwise I WONT KNOW.

nice meme. :) but yeah clearly this is still an accurate representation of me, right?

[x] [x]

yeah, you got me though. im a toxic, abusive piece of shit that will never get better, all i do is hurt others, i can't change, ive never apologized, ive never gotten better. totally

and since we're playing this game,

and now that i've said all this, i have nothing else to say. i can't make anyone believe me, but if you do, thanks.

[woodlandcrone]

Dream time:

The first part of my dream was me failing my french class for not making enough ballet reference (quote: “you should ve said in your text how long it takes to go from flat to en pointe”) even though the text was not about ballet and my gf comforting me and confirming that it was bullshit while i was literally ripping my teachers comment to shreds

Second part of the dream was an hd remake of super mario sunshine (i think) and at the end of a race level there was a weird ship with a million engines and levers to control it; on the top level of the ship there was what i can only describe as a server room (as in internet servers) but served (lol) as the main control room to pilot the ship. So i go and press a bunch of buttons and what do you know, super mario sunshine just turned into super mario grand theft auto because im driving a fucking car into crowds of people but since its a mario game there are no consequences so i just keep going cause its fun as hell. Cut to princess peach who got a v short haircut and whos just chilling in delfino plaza (populated by real ass people); she walks by a peach impersonator whos just singing about dumb stereotypes of peachs life (like getting kidnapped and shit) and the real peach does not stand for this, no siree; she starts singing back and it ends up w the 2 of them going to the beach to chill. Peach and NotPeach get harrassed by dudebros and they try to go swim as far as possible like up to the “this is as far as u go” rope but lilo from lilo and stitch tries to follow but immediately almost drowns because she somehow cant swim; peach lets her float on her stomach while shes swimming on her back and they somehow end up in a cramped bathroom so they just put lilo in the bath so she can still play in the water. Nani shows up and freaks out because apparently shes dead and shes been looking for lilo, whos also dead, so they can move on into the afterlife. Peach says she can help and touches nanis arm to switch bodies w her.

Third part of the dream: i am either nani or alice from alice in wonderland and im recruiting help to find my husband (?) And wake up from a shitty dream im having (meta as hell) so jumba, someone else enroll and 1 alien aswell but they immediately go off to catch a smaller alien that can basically hide in its own mouth. When they come back they put the small alien on their head and it basically hide them in its mouth with only like 4 tentacly arms coming out and whatnot. At some point the 2 in 1 alien turns a corner and gets surrounded by a bunch of pirates (i think) and one woman points a fucking keyblade at their throat(?) And while the leader of the pirates is giving a speech the woman and 2 other pirates briefly get wrapped in bright light and when it goes out its fucking nani-alice and jumba w a different keyblade (psych) and they all run away. They go through a muddy town (or some suburbs) somehow nani-alice gets separated from the group and ends up stuck in an alley with the pirate leader where he gives her another speech but ///seductively/// because that always happens in movies where 2 characters are alone. He shows her an artifact that can help her get home (either a sphere or a pyramid, cant remember) and the 2 in 1 alien finds them and the pirate kills them. That sends nani-alice back a million miles and shes somehow a prisoner in a library now. Shes flipping trhough some books feeling very sad and she hears the 2 in 1 aliens voice sing softly from behind her. Somehow the 2 in 1 alien is humanoid now but can switch to spirit form at will. He spirit follows a guard down in the library basement and finds a key to free nani-alice even though shes not in a cage or anything. When he comes back w the key absorbed in the spirit body, another guard is snarking @ nani because apparently all her friends are dead and shell die in the library. Ex 2 in 1 alien bludgeons the guard on the head and everyone escapes without any other shenanigans. They go through the same suburbs again but this time people are like fusing with each other and some guy fuses with his dog and its very gross. They finally stop at a very bad looking house and theres a crooked tree in front of the door that morphs into 2 dudes on top of each other. One is the pirate leader and the other one is a wizard. 2 in 1 spirit alien boy walks up to the tree and while its trying to ecplain why it murdered them he just starts pulling at the branches and snapping them in half. The pirate man screams at nanialice to make him stop cause hes probably counting on whatever connection they dont have to get out of this situation and nani alice just goes “fuck you” and the tree guy dies thrre in front of the house. When 2 in 1 and alice nani go in, they find a man whos basically gone fucking bonkers because nani was dead this whole time and he couldnt deal with it so he just kept painting her face over and over again and even made a replica of their family with painted lard. Like actual sculpted painted lard. Nani tries to explain that shes not actually dead and that he needs to snap out of this because its creepy as hell but he doesnt listen and keeps painting. Nani decides to just ignore that and starts throwing awaybthe creepier shit lying around the house but the man (husband?) Refuses to let her throw away the lard sculptures and just locks them in a closet.

End dream.