#it doesnt matter if THAT bug specifically freaks you out
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artyc-stan-of-tsp · 5 months ago
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@rembiee
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Shit like this is insanely rude and I hate that 1. Having this attitude about bugs & 2. Proudly proclaiming that you have this attitude about bugs (and doing so entirely unprompted on top of that) (especially in response to an Entomologist!!!!!) is considered a normal and acceptable thing to do
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ofcowardiceandkings · 1 year ago
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companion piece of young Link
AAHH i finally finished something :'D
i've uh had some very specific Thoughts about Zelda's childhood for a while now so its about time i put them to paper - this is actually round TWO since the original doodles are lost to ... somewhere ... i like these second editions better though so alls well that ends well
we're looking at ages around 4, 7 and 10 years old here touchin bugs in the dirt, archery practice, and playing a lyre ;w;
more detailed Thoughts under the cut 💙
iiitssss customary ranting about my BotW/TotK opinions tiiiimeeee welcome my darlingsss jfkdjfkd 💙
i had a much more solid idea about where i was going with Zelda than with Link but some of it is kinda abstract or weird lol
we know a fair amount about her upbringing in general, or can infer as much from Zelda's interactions with her father and what they and people around them wrote. she was clearly a smart and vivacious kid with a strong personality from the start, no matter how much you sort of squash that shit for the public face, repression etc. so yknow, her mother's death when she was 6, awful. her father's change in attitude especially in her teens, awful. being under public scrutiny her whole life, awful. restrictive structure of royal life, dull (i bet it bored Zelda to death at times no matter how strongly duty-oriented she is). having said that though, she got by and just by looking at her study, she clearly got stuff done to herself - you can take the kid away from the science but the science stays with the kid !!!
additionally, forgive me for mentioning ... timelines ... but in my humble onion, BotW/TotK serve as a Dragon-Break scenario which are SO far in the future from other entries that ALL timelines will inevitably converge and lead to that point, so it doesnt matter any more (i dont like extended Timeline theory, Nindooty doesnt like extended Timeline theory, the current writing team seem to want shot of it, let me be). being a history guy i also subscribe to leaning on the LEGEND aspect of 100 and 1000 year games of telephone, it makes things spicy. tradition is a strange thing, we do things we dont have much of a context for anymore, we're still living with the cultural hangovers of people living when mammoths were around and no thats not hyperbole lol its WILD. ive typed around the point enough lets get going
she was a bugs girl !!!! she still IS a bugs girl lmao but if our 16 year old girlie is gonna pounce on frogs apropos of nothing, that 4 year old girlie is gonna go catch bugs in the Royal Gardens and freak out her maids or escorts with them, good for her 💅
the other two are where my timeline thing comes in; the triforce is never mentioned by name, its just there in symbolism ?? something about the blood of the goddess ?? divine sealing powers ??? no one knows in the same vein, i like to think that its traditional for Hylian Princesses to learn archery and play a lyre or harp ... but no one remembers quite WHY ?? so Zelda does. the Priestess-Princess* role means the public is aware that Zelda had formal singing training, but its not really common knowledge outside of the Castle that the Royal Girls do THIS (no one knows why that part is important either, but it stays in the Castle). she might be a little out of practice now, but give that muscle memory enough time and she might be able to really surprise people.
*this is part of the Japanese translation, at least in Kass' final song Zelda is referred to as an term roughly meaning Priestess-Princess - which makes total sense to me
ohhh my god i talked a lot okay i just love my gorl fhjdkfjdk
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actual footage of me explaining my shit and going way long
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the-s1lly-corner · 3 months ago
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I haven't made a Cotl order from you in a while, could you make a Bishop Shamura x non-binary reader (romantic) The reader has a great phobia of spiders while Shamura is very in love with them?
I think it would be fun to see how Shamura tries to get closer to the reader without scaring them.
Shamura x NB!reader who is arachnophobic
Real talk this is something I think about a lot because how does stuff like arachnophobia work in the cotl universe- because theres Spider people, spider monsters, and spider spiders... so like... if someone freaked out over a spider spider would a spider person be offended or like-- what about those afraid of bugs or other creatures??? Chat I am going insane
Notes: reader is nonbinary, bishop shamura, you're a follower who's caught their eye, mostly shamura trying to make you more comfortable before attempting to court you
CWs: none
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its almost cruel, to be a follower in the spiders cult- to be in silk cradle where most of the natives are arachnids
it doesnt matter how well you try to hide it, they know in an instant that youre afraid- but they dont bring it up... they dont rub it in your face or even mention it... no, they simply keep a mental note of it to keep track of how to interact with you in the future...
and oh it crushes them a little knowing that youre scared of arachnids- especially spiders!
at least they can understand why many may be at least intimidated by them specifically- they are the god of war, afterall! but... you shrink away in fear at the mere sight of them thanks to their many legs and eyes
subtly try to show you the prettier side of things- beautiful web designs and the soft fuzz some spiders have- that they have! look at their sprite! theyve got fuzz on their legs! theyve at least got some fluff going on here and there!
and spiders can purr- kind of! look look isnt that endearing, reader?
definitely would take the "use education to understand and reduce fear" route, and theyre so so patient with you
in more... close and private moments they let you feel the legs on the side of their head to show that theyre not as bad as they look
baby steps to make you more comfortable around them as you naturally grow closer to one another
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weirdmageddon · 4 years ago
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five years too late let’s analyze this. the commentary has gotten me back into gravity falls reigniting thoughts and insights i came to years ago
i love everything about this commentary in general it hits the points of humor, genuine analysis of the characters, but most of all im so glad hirsch addressed that the droid not detecting any fear from dipper here doesnt make any scientific sense because that was a massive CinemaSins moment for me
IDK the fact that dipper can fucking stand after an airship crash because theres a bigger threat at hand is literally one of the defining capabilities owed to adrenaline lol...... IM SORRY im a biopsychology student if i dont point that out iwill seethe and die because that was just . its a grudge ive held for a long time about this episode but didnt rant about because it was something so minor and i’m sure nobody would care.
i was 13 when this episode came out and i’m almost 19 now, i had a special interest in biology and i still do but now i’m actually having college classes in biopsychology so i can give my arguments more oomph now. and i have to say, now that i know more about the brain and autonomic nervous system the more this scene bugs me, if that was even possible. and it says a lot of dipper and ford’s relationship.
if dipper clearly wasnt calm before, why would he be now just because he’s put up an outwardly confident facade? before he was in the flight but now hes in the fight. my boy just rode on top of a spaceship by nothing but a magnet gun that could detach at any time if it failed and then the ship crashed, he sustained injuries, is in emotional turmoil because he thinks his uncle is Fucking Dead and the threat of a security droid that detects adrenaline is on his tail and produces a Big Fucking Gun in response to dipper saying “i hAvE a MaGNeT gUn” and hes screaming and has his teeth clenched but sure there’s no adrenaline coursing through his body in that moment i can totally believe that
when dipper asks what happened, ford says “the orb didn’t detect any chemical signs of fear, it assumed the threat was neutralized and self-disassembled” but i don’t think measuring someone’s heartbeat alone is particularly relevant in detecting ... chemical signs of fear?? they dont really tell you this shit but noradrenaline (and maybe adrenaline too if the acetylcholine from sympathetic outflow always activates the adrenal medulla??, theres two pathways) is always active in small quantities to make sure your parasympathetic nervous system doesnt slow your heart to dangerous levels on its own, regardless of your emotions. it’s just a homeostatic mechanism. your sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems are CONSTANTLY modulating control of your organs on a see-saw, literally with every breath you take. simply standing upright causes specialized mechanoreceptor neurons in blood vessels to signal your brain to project signals to release catecholamines via the sympathetic nervous system to constrict your blood vessels so that blood is able to reach your brain and not pool in your legs. i have a deficiency in my body’s ability to adapt to this which is why i know so much about it. if i stand up my heart races to compensate. i’m not feeling fear, my body is just adjusting—albeit grossly and incompetently lol.
but what im saying here is that the security system is flawed. it’s a cool idea to have security droids detect fear, but in practice by detecting adrenaline, and not even directly by detecting the molecule itself—it’s done in a roundabout way by reading the heartbeat, could be a recipe for false alarms. like what if someone’s on beta-blockers. that’s not really an adequate way to measure “fear”; there’s so many variables that could interfere with the measurement the farther you abstract from what you’re really trying to detect. and besides, adrenaline is NOT just a sign of fear, it’s just for preparing the body for action. i know the sympathetic nervous system and adrenaline is constantly linked with the “fight-or-flight” reaponse to a stressor, but 99.9% of the time the sympathetic nervous system is used in your life is to balance out your parasympathetic nervous system to maintain homeostatic equilibrium for mundane things.
i think detecting amygdalar activation would be more efficient in detecting fear. the amygdala sends projections to the hypothalamus which then in turn modulates the autonomic nervous systems. but the amygdala is intensely activated specifically in response to a fear-inducing stimulus (it does activate in response to other emotions but they’re mostly negative and is most activated by startle and fear), and wouldnt be highly activated by many other confounding variables like measurement of the heartbeat could be. the amygala is one of the first stops directly from external stimuli.
to show you how integrated the amygdala is as the first step in registering fear after receiving input from sensory stimuli let’s look at the auditory-amygdala connection for example
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see how the auditory thalamus projects to the primary auditory cortex and auditory association cortex? the cortex is where conscious awareness of what the stimuli is comes from. this is the “high road”. it goes sensing -> perception -> emotional response. but sometimes you can be startled without even processing what it is you’re sensing, like the startle response of an alarm or a phone ringing in a quiet house before you even register what it is. this goes sensing -> emotional response, without perception happening until after you’ve already felt the startle. that’s when it takes the “low road”. here’s a simplified version:
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even if that were the case with these droids though it’s obvious dipper is still fearful on some level here. his body language, voice, expressions all give it away. for the amygdala, aggression isnt too off from fear so it would be detected equally.
the reason this is so important is because ford uses this as evidence for why dipper is special, “i did it?” “you did it. this is what i was talking about, how many 12 year olds do you think are capable of doing what you’ve just done?”
but like....did he really? i’m not saying this to shoot dipper down or make him out to be more of a wuss, he was incredibly strong-willed here and i dont want to take that away from him because it WAS growth on his part. but the underlying psychophysiological reactions of aggression and fear shouldn’t be that different and this was a total asspull. maybe the droid was so old that it fucked up. maybe dipper being covered in grime and dirt made it harder for the droid to measure the correct heart rate through photoplethysmography (im assuming since they use a camera and are non-contact).
and in all honesty everything i just said brings into question the interpersonal healthiness of ford’s judgements, what he thinks, his expectations, and how he communicates that. in this video alex already talks about how ford is projecting onto dipper. and i think ford may be projecting his expectations for himself onto people who are not him, and the fact that it’s on dipper here makes it far more unfortunate. you realize how much this boy idolizes ford, right? how much impressions matter? dipper even tells himself before he leaves in this same episode, “all right dipper, this is your first big mission with great uncle ford. don’t mess this up.”
even though it’s unstated, the implicit message dipper is perceiving from ford based on their dynamic is: “do you have what it takes for me to be proud of you?” and to accomplish this he must be like ford, even though he’s clearly not and he knows this. he says “i don’t think have what it takes. i was tricked by bill, i was wrong about stan’s portal, heck, i can’t even operate this magnet gun right.” then, by simple chance without even knowing what he did, he activates the magnet gun and pulls out the adhesive, which immediately takes the focus away from what dipper was telling ford about his feelings of inadequacy to ford saying, “yes! dipper, you found the adhesive!”
these thoughts of dipper’s hang in the air without resolve or comment from ford. we don’t know what ford would have said. but it then becomes painfully self-evident in the scene immediately after when the droids emerge and ford tells dipper, “they’re security droids and they detect adrenaline. you simply have to not feel any fear and they won’t see you”, to which dipper replies with an exasperated (and rightful) “WHAT?”
dipper goes in a panic trying to indirectly tell his uncle that this isn’t something he can do. and he is completely right and valid to be freaked out by that full stop. that IS crazy. you can’t control your fear. you can control how you interpret that fear in your higher brain regions but the physiological changes will stick around for longer than it takes to cognitively calm down. it’s easy for me to detach from my emotions to analyze them, but being able to do this does not come naturally for everyone. even i have an irrational fear of wasps and i can’t control it by detaching myself, my body is just automatically primed to get the fuck out of there. i know it’s stupid and i know it’s irrational and isn’t helpful to get myself worked up but i literally can’t stop how my body reacts no matter how i cognitively think about it. expecting composure from dipper in a situation like this when he’s being made to consciously be aware of his anxiety is absolutely fucking insane. look what you did, placing these cruel expectations on him, now he’s afraid of being afraid! this isn’t a case where two wrongs cancel out, they just stack on top of each other.
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there’s a good reason these scenes were put side by side but it seems up until now it had remained unanalyzed.
what dipper fears from ford is disappointment. not living up to his uncle’s (quite frankly badly placed) expectations for a twelve year old with anxiety. not once did ford say or subliminally communicate “i don’t expect you to be able to do what i can since you are not as experienced as i am and that’s perfectly okay, no judgements”. you don’t put a child on bike before training wheels. you don’t throw a kid into a swimming pool without giving them swimming lessons. the way ford is doing it, there’s no room for trial and error or mistakes that are an opportunity to grow and learn; instead, it’s life or death. he only seems to pride dipper on what he can do while ignoring the underlying struggles that plague him and never making it known it’s okay for dipper to fail in front of his hero and that he won’t think anything less of him for it.
and that’s why i found the ending scene for dipper and ford’s adventure in this episode to feel so.. wrong. on a scientific and social level. because by the sound of it ford focused more on what dipper had done to dismantle the droid (the droid not detecting any fear) instead of how dipper displayed love and protection for him even if he was truly afraid. what if the science was accurate and the droid detected adrenaline while dipper was confidently standing up for his uncle. would ford still be proud of him regardless?
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queer-as-frikc · 4 years ago
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My coming out story is weird, it gets a lil transphobic so tw near the end tw long post too
So, pretty much throughout my time growing up through elementary school and half of middle school, i grew up in a white middle class area. I didnt know about the LGBTQ+ or anything other than what I saw, which was white people and an occasional poc. Eventually I had to move and I ended up in a super diverse area, and ended up becoming best friends with this person (they are ftm now so imma use the right pronouns but they were f when this story mostly takes place) he told me all about things I didnt know, specifically the LGBTQ+ community and that he was pan, and it was new information so just like any 13 year old learning new things, I questioned myself, I questioned if I could like the same sex or not or possibly more.
Sadly, drama happened between my best friend, his girlfriend and I, so thing got a little weird. But there was a time in winter, when he was off that relationship for more than a month and he said he'd like to date me, and I really thought about it before hand and said yeah, I couldnt tell you how happy I was to have this experience.
I told my mom that night, in a round about way cuz I was nervous, "Hey mom, what if I liked girls?" She told me she doesnt think that I do, because I always expressed feelings for guys, and when I tell her I didnt really understand what being gay was when I was younger, I didn't really know it was a possibility. She snapped at me and said, "Unless you are willing to kiss a girl and do the other stuff, you arent gay at all."
Eventually I have a sit down conversation with her, about how confusing this all was and how I wish I knew how I felt, and so on. She said she had a similar questioning phase but it never stuck so she doesnt think I am.
Like a month later I figure it out and dude that was so gratifying. I came out as bi to my mom, who just dismissed the whole thing, but I was terrified to tell my uncle (it's a long story about that, no it's not "sweet home Alabama") because he always said bi's were wh*res so yeah. I ended up telling him, and he goes, "You know my opinion on it but that doesnt mean that I'll disown you or anything." Btw the relationship (dating wise) with my best friend after he came out as ftm because he went back to his ex, it's all cool tho.
So that was that, or so I thought. It was my first year of high school, and I finally really understood the definition of pan, what was holding me back though was the trans experience, I thought because I didnt know what it was like, I couldnt be pan, even though I didnt have a preference, turns out it just means you like people no matter their gender and it like, clicked finally so yeah. I've told my family about that since but I a similar reaction: my mom said she doesnt think I am and she lectured me on my generation having so many labels and how she hated it. My uncle said he appreciated that I was pan more than me being bi which confused me but he just had a better view of pansexual than bisexual. (I explained to both of them what the difference was but idk man)
I believe it was my second year of high school when I really started to question my gender, and that was mostly because I saw a video of what gender dysphoria looks like if it's not that strong and you arent aware for ftm. So like wearing bagging clothes all the time, always wearing sports bras, and practically no other bra, feeling really good if someone accidentally calls you sir, etc. And I was like, oml it's me. But it wasnt, I didnt find that out until later tho. So, with my friend group, I find a name that seems to fit me well and ask them to address me by it and he/him pronouns, as like a test of sorts. (All of my friends are gay in some way so it was cool) In the end tho, I got a little iffy about the whole thing and wouldnt ever correct them at times or it was just off for me. I felt really bad because I thought that they might have thought that I was just trying to force myself to be more like them, but I wasnt, i still felt bad though and kinda dropped it.
I'm not sure 100% how I figured it out tho, but I remember talking to my best friend (not the same one from middle school, they were my best friend as well but they arent the same person) about the whole experience and I believe they brought up the idea of genderfulid, and I was like :0.... what that. They explain it, you go aall over the gender spectrum, some days you might feel like a boy, others you might feel like you have no gender, some days you might feel like your gender is something completely weird and different, that's just what it is. And I was like, "It fits but like, I barely feel femme at any point in time, maybe like once a year." And they tell me, that's ok and stuff as long as my gender just decides to be a completely weird and went all over the place, it counted, so I was like, "I finally figured it out!!!" And i was so happy.
Then came the time I was comfortable enough to tell my parents. I had been using the label genderfuild for over half a year already and I thought that it was what I was so it was ok to tell them. I saw how ok me being gay went, so I was nervous but not as nervous as I should have been, probably. I told my mom first, she went on a similar rant of her no liking my generations labels and such, but it went fine, I explained it, I thought I was through, I thought I was fine, apparently not. One day I'm in the shower and I hear my mom being very expressive with what ever shes talking about to my uncle, which is fine, she needs someone to vent to sometimes. When I get out though, and I can here her clearly, I hear sees complaining about what I told her recently, that I'm genderfulid, but instead of saying that, she only says I want to be a boy. (Oh no) So shes complaining to him, asking why I cant be more like her and just be a masculine girl and be fine, why do I have to fit in with the crowd of my generation to feel special, why cant I just be fine with who I am now? Etc.
The sad thing is, that night, I was going out shopping for pants and underwear with my uncle because I needed some and I wore men's pants already at that point, because they are more durable, and stuff so I knew it was gonna be a long ride. My mom was snippy with me that whole night, just the entire time which sucked.
When we finally left to go get clothes though, I didnt know it could get worse. My uncle lectured me about how that's just my generations fad, and how his was making tattoos and piercings ok in the work place and mine is being trans a gay and all that crap, and that I'm just trying to fit in, I'm not being myself, no matter how much I chop myself up and cut my hair and take hormones my chromosomes will never change and so I can never be an actual guy. He also said that I would bring just more attention to myself being a woman who does guy things rather than try and be one, and he thinks I'm doing this all for attention. I was mad but silent at this point, I didnt want to cause anything to happen. He ended up asking me, "So did you pick a different name?" I was surprised but I said yeah, and my friends were using it and it seemed to fit better. He asked me what it was and fear over took my body. I told him, "I'll only tell you if you dont use it against me if your mad." He says, "i cant promise that." And then gets mad because I wont tell him. Though I do, because I feel obligated since hes buying me clothes. To be even more confusing, he buys me guys underwear, and undershirts along with the predetermined pants he promised me and now I'm so confused.
But it gets even worse. When we get home, my mom freaks out on him because be bought me all that mens stuff and she said he was encouraging my behavior and stuff, he defended with it's just clothes, and yah it is. Eventually things settle down, obviously my mom isnt talking to be, but that's for the best at this point. I'm in the living room with my uncle and he just then starts harassing me with questions like, how do you know? he asks. "Well, I just feel that way, same as you." I say. But why do you wanna be a guy? he asks. "I dont wanna be a guy, it's just weird that way. Also it's not me being a guy, it me being many more than that," I say. He says that's bullsh*t. I offer to show him videos that better explain what trans is and how it's an actual sciencey thing and stuff but he said he wont take a video because he wants me to say it. And then he just goes off, saying the name I picked out shows how self centered I am because I am selfish, he kept asking me if i liked to fight, to catch and play with bugs, to be strong, to be angry all the time, and all these stereotypes for men and I just left, and went to bed. He wasnt going to listen to me, so there wasnt a point to me staying.
But, it gets worse. The morning comes and I'm awoken by the slam of my door by my uncle and the laughter of my mom. My uncle starts being really aggressive and starts cleaning my room, I only have clothes on the floor mostly so that's all it was, but he starts saying, well if you're gonna be a man, imma start training you like one, the man of the house picks up after everyone, the man of the house does everything he can to help the house run smoothly, the man of the house has to be strong, and all that stuff. (Which I thought was funny because he was "the man of the house" yet I did everything, and still do. I clean up most after him, funny huh.) And, I know what's happening and so I stay in bed, I don't want this to happen. But I literally get ripped out of my bed by my uncle and get told to stop being a little b*tch and a brat because I'm being selfish by my mom and I'm yelled at to sit in the living room and wait while my uncle cleans my room. When hes done hes starts lecturing me and being all aggressive and in my face. He keeps asking me a million questions with the tone that he didnt care so I knew he wouldn't listen. Eventually, him and my mom leave, I'm told to stay there until I get back. When they do get back, they act like everything is fine, nothing happened between them and I and it's just been so hard for me to talk to them about that since.
I'm greatful that I dont have to deal with that anymore but every time something that that is brought up with my family, I panic so much now. I'm fine and I'm safe but it was very traumatic for me. And uh, thanks for listening.
hey, thank you so much for sharing your story. this was just. so heartbreaking. noone deserves to have a person like your uncle in their life. im so sorry you had to go through all of that. i hope you’re in a much better place now <3 (also i loveeddd reading about how you figured it out) =)
again, tysm <3
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pinkykitten · 6 years ago
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You and your family
Bright
Kandomere x human! female reader
Warning: mentions of miscarriage, curse words 
Specifics: angst, romance, one-shot, race neutral reader, pregnant reader
People: Kandomere, you, Doctor (oc), your friends (oc)
Words: 1,188
Requested: By anon Hi! I was wondering if I could get an imagine with Kandomere, please? If it could be about him with his SO whose human and they’ve been together for a while and are married. Kandomere x SO have been trying for a baby with no luck but plot twist! His SO gets pregnant but freaks out she’ll lose it and runs away. 5 months later he finds her and she’s proper round & they makeup. I’m all for the Angst/fluff stuff! You can add NSFW if you’d like (I wouldn’t complain. Tehe) Sorry if it seems weird!
Authors Note: (if u care about my life) its so cold I KID U KIDS NOT i thought my fingers were gonna fall off during me typing this. so i almost lost my life there. also i know this sucks but i mean what doesnt in my existence, y’know what i mean? its gonna be in the 30s tonight for me, comment how cold is it gonna be for u guys!
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“Every time...every time its like this,” you say with a sob. The feeling of thinking you are pregnant or just wanting it so bad but yet it never happens. That joy and feeling is gone and away.
Being the wife of Kandomere, you wanted to give him a child. You wanted children, you wanted a family, yet you could give no such thing to your husband. 
“Don’t worry baby, we will just keep trying.” Kandomere placed your pregnancy test on the counter of the sink. Kneeling to your limp body on the floor of the bathroom. He picks you up and cuddles with you on the bed. Reassuring you,  that you and him will keep trying no matter what. 
“Maybe, maybe its me,” staring into the light eyes of Kandomere, thinking you were the cause. 
“No sweetheart don’t think that. It takes two to tango-”
“Kandomere this isn’t a game, its not funny! I have had 3 miscarriages, 3! And its really hard for me to get pregnant! I feel like I’m useless!”
You felt your husband embrace you and kissing your face. Shaking his head. “This is not your fault y/n. Its just not.”
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Its been a couple of months after that incident and you have prioritized other matters. Such as your job, your relationship with Kandomere, your house. Little things to take your mind off the inevitable. 
You came out of work like usual. Purse on your shoulder and peering at your watch you see you have to make it in time to cook dinner. 
All of a sudden, you feel you have to throw up. Your friends are escorting you to your car. 
“Are you okay y/n?” One of them says.
You rush to the garbage can and throw everything up. 
“I think its just something I ate. I think I’ll be fine thanks.” You breathe out, wiping your mouth with a napkin. 
You felt awful and decided to go to the doctor’s. You were called in and you explained yourself. 
“Could the thought that you might be pregnant be a, possibility?” The doctor questioned, getting an ultrasound done on you. 
“No sir, I know that wouldn’t happen. Me and my husband have been trying for a very long time, and every time we are met with the same conclusion. I either have a miscarriage or I’m actually not pregnant.”
After a couple of minutes the doctor, proceeding still on the ultra sound, laughs. 
“What is it?” You ask, nervously. All this talk about getting pregnant brings up old wounds for you. 
“Well y/n...you’re pregnant!”
You sit up, quickly, “what? There is no way I can be! This is insane!”
The doctor then pointed out the little mound you saw that was called your baby. “You’re pregnant y/n.”
You stand up and tears start to form. You place your hand on your mouth and take a minute to cry. The doctor pats your back but leaves you to yourself for a while, so as for you to regain your composure. You rub your stomach and giggle to yourself. “Hi there baby...its mommy. I’m your mama. I’m so happy you are here.” But then realization hit you like a ton of bricks. 
This was the city, what if something bad happens to your child? What if all the stresses in life cause you to have another miscarriage? You could not go through the heartaches again. You could not put Kandomere through that again. You start to freak out. “I’m gonna lose this baby, I’m gonna lose it.” You don’t want Kandomere to have to go through the heartaches once more. 
“I can’t do that to him.” Without a second thought you race to your car and go far, far away. You go more to the country, to a cabin. You were going to get away from the commotion. You were going away from your husband to protect him. 
“He needs a better life.” You tried to convince yourself, as you were sobbing. “He needs someone better.”
That night you didn’t come home, and many nights would be like that. Kandomere would think the worst happened to you. He would try to call or text but nothing would be sent from you. Nobody knew where you were at. He started to feel depressed, to drink, many things passed along side the thoughts of Kandomere. He missed you dearly, and he was a different man when you were not there. He wanted his wife back. 
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5 Months Later
You have been living in that cabin for a while. You lost your job and everything you’ve ever known. Your life was so different. You imagined your husband’s life was probably different as well. He probably moved on with someone who could give him a better life. You were sad you couldn’t or more like didn’t tell your husband about the baby. The baby was healthy, and strong. But you knew Kandomere wouldn’t want you back. 
Going to a popular coffee shop you stand and wait for your order of hot chocolate. Just then a certain elf walks in, “y/n?”
It was Kandomere, you looked up and your eyes bugged open. Kandomere saw that you were well developed in a full stomach. Kandomere saw the stomach and stomped out of the coffee shop. You ran after him knowing what he thought. 
“Baby, I know what this looks like but trust me its yours,” you cried out to him. 
“How do I know? I can’t believe you left me for 5 months. What the hel* is wrong with you?”
You curled back and tears fell out, “Kandomere, when I was told I was pregnant I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. I was scared I was gonna lose it. I didn’t want to do that to you again. I wanted to protect you.”
Kandomere closed his door of his car, “Sweetie, that’s why we are husband and wife. Through sickness and health. I wanted to be right by your side. I would of been. Going through something like that baby, you need someone supportive. I would of helped you through it all.”
Your cries came out more and you hugged Kandomere, “oh I’m sorry! I hate what I did to you, it was a mistake.”
Kandomere kissed your forehead, “please don’t do that again. Just please. I can’t live without you. It is impossible for me.”
“Does that mean, we’re still husband and wife, ready to have a child soon?” You asked, hoping he would say yes. 
“Of course y/n.” Kandomere gave you a kiss on the lips. Missing that feeling. “We are soon going to be parents.”
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Kandomere was with you for the rest of the pregnancy. He was such a great help and support and he was so loving. In the end you and Kandomere had a healthy baby girl. She came out being half human/half elf. She was perfect and such a beauty. 
“All of this was worth it,” you whispered to her and to Kandomere. As you and your little family were there, present. It was all you could ask for. 
Just you and your family. 
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robininthelabyrinth · 6 years ago
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Fic: An Internal Affair - Chapter 12 (Ao3 link)
Fandom: The Flash Pairing: Leonard Snart/Barry Allen
Summary: Leonard Snart, the CCPD Captain of Internal Affairs, is known as Captain Cold for a very good reason: He hates corrupt cops with a merciless vengeance, and once you’re on his list, you’re in serious trouble.
His next target?
A CCPD lab tech named Barry Allen who’s developed a suspicious habit of disappearing at random intervals.
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There's a closet at the end of the hallway on the other side of the top floor from Barry's lab. It's little more than a glorified broom closet that sometimes gets used to store samples and evidence that's still being analyzed.
It's small, and dusty, and dark, but it's just large enough to have a small stool big enough to sit on inside (primarily used for going through samples because doing that while crouched over is hell on your back) and that makes it the perfect place to go have anxiety attacks in the middle of the day, if one were so inclined.
Barry is currently so inclined.
The last week or so has been crazy.
Just - legitimately, unbelievably crazy.
First there'd been the whole issue with Hartley Rathaway, who they'd barely stopped from destroying STAR Labs with his sonic weaponry a few weeks back. He should've been locked away safely, but he'd managed to trick Cisco into letting him escape from his cell in the Accelerator, and, despite Barry's best efforts to scour the city for him, they'd totally lost track of him after that.
At least he didn't seem intent on re-offending imminently, so there’s that, if nothing else.
That'd been bad enough, but what followed less than two days later..?
Insane.
Just.
Insane.
Where does Barry even start thinking about it?
At the beginning, he supposes: Iris returning from one of her fact-finding missions with the Anti-Flash Task Force with the news that Clyde Mardon, the first meta Barry ever defeated and which Joe had to shoot down, apparently had a brother named Mark Mardon, and that Mark Mardon was planning something in revenge. Something aimed specifically at Joe.
Iris had also been really weird around Joe but refused to explain why, just saying she was processing some stuff and would tell them both later once she figured out how she felt like reacting about it. Joe thinks it's just her reacting to there being a threat on his life, but Barry's not so sure about that.
(At least whatever it is wasn't Iris discovering the Flash thing, thank God - she assured Barry in private that whatever was bugging her didn't involve him and was entirely about Joe. He shouldn’t be as relieved by that as he is, but give him a break, he’s not a saint. Man, she is going to kill him when she finds out about the Flash thing, and he's going to deserve it.)
Either way, the CCPD took the threat seriously and began to take actions to protect Joe and guard the waterfront, except their actions weren't anywhere near enough because it turns out that Mark Mardon, like Clyde Mardon, is a weather-controlling meta.
A weather-controlling meta who decided that he was going to get back at Joe West by attacking his precious city, which he did by creating a freaking tsunami using the river.
A tsunami!
In Missouri!
What the hell, man; that's just wrong.
Barry’s never recommended therapy to a soul in his life, particularly after his own negative experiences as a kid, but seriously, if the choice is between talking through your issues with a therapist and trying to process them with a tsunami, go with the therapist!
He’s pretty sure Mardon didn’t expect for the tsunami to get as big as it did, judging by the expression on his face, but whatever he meant to do, what he did end up doing was creating a wave large enough that, if not stopped, would undoubtedly sweep through the entire city and destroy huge swaths of it.
Including the parts that had Iris and Joe and Len and Cisco and Caitlin in them.
Everyone had been utterly frantic, seeing no way to either stop the wave or evacuate the city in time. Based on a crazy last-second suggestion, Barry tried to create a counter-force by running as fast back-and-forth as he could, pushing himself past his limits, but he knew even as he forced himself into pain and beyond that it wasn’t going to be enough.
He wasn't going to be able to stop the tsunami.
And then – he did.
No, not with the counter-force idea; once he had a chance to think about it for a second he realized that it was an incredibly stupid idea to begin with. That didn't work.
What did work, though, was grabbing Mark Mardon out of his hiding place in Keystone City and putting him in the Accelerator before he ever had a chance to launch the tsunami.
Because apparently when Barry runs that fast, he went fast enough to go back in time by a day and stop the whole thing before it ever started.
Mardon problem solved.
Barry just doesn't know what to do about it.
It, of course, being the fact that he somehow actually traveled through time.
Backwards, that is, rather than the usual leisurely forward minute-by-minute progression he and everyone else normally does.
...holy crap, does that mean his "speed" powers might actually be a form of time manipulation? That he's not running "faster" than people, but rather that he's running at regular speed while time slows down around him?
No, that can't be right - Cisco routinely talks to him via the comms while he's running, which would be impossible if time had slowed down. Unless the time-slows-down effect is extremely localized, explaining why people immediately around Barry are moving too slow to "talk" but Cisco, at a distance, isn't...
Yeah, this whole focusing on trivial details or abstract questions isn't working to effectively distract him from the overarching point at issue here.
He ran backwards in time.
He ran backwards in time!
He ran.
Backwards.
In time.
Nope, no matter how many times Barry says that, it doesn’t get any less weird.
That shouldn't even be possible! Barry's a human being, not some bizarre singularity-black-hole in the making - unless that's what lies at the far end of his speed capacity –
Barry groans and puts his head in his hands.
He wants to talk to Iris about this, but he can't, because he's been lying to her so long about being the Flash that he doesn't know how he'd raise it even if Joe lifted his prohibition against telling her.
He wants to talk to Len, cool-headed, practical, sci-fi nerd Len, about this, but he can't, he can't just reveal himself now - and what if Len thinks that Barry's been deceiving him, too? He kinda has been, and they may be new to each other but Barry already knows that Len has deep-seated issues with deception and betrayal. So that's out, too.
And while Cisco and Caitlin are technically available, Barry desperately wants to talk to someone, anyone, that isn't part of what Cisco's been calling Team Flash, because he has the sinking feeling that they (or at least Dr. Wells) kinda-sorta-maybe theorized that this was going to happen.
The time travel stuff, that is.
Dr. Wells hadn't even been all that surprised about it! A total reworking of how humanity understands physics and the nature of time, but nope, Dr. Wells, a renowned physicist, doesn't seem to care about the scientific implications. If anything, he'd just been pissed off that Barry changed what happened - apparently he "should've been more careful with changing history" which, uh, seriously? Barry literally saved the whole city? That seems like a worthwhile change to him, whatever the personal costs that might come about as a result.
Also, seriously, he just broke physics, how is that not the priority issue here?!
It'd been weird. Not to mention how Dr. Wells' lack of surprise, combined with the vaguely pleased-anticipatory look Dr. Wells'd had when Barry first mentioned his time travel? Really making Barry feel kind of manipulated here. Or like a science experiment. Or like one of those psychology experiments where you don't tell the subject what the goal is in advance because that could affect the results...
Either way, he's feeling used.
All that emphasis on training speed - was it really to help Barry catch up to the Reverse Flash, as Cisco's started calling him, or was it to see if Barry could break the time barrier?
And if it was, why hadn't Wells just told him that was the goal?
Maybe Barry doesn't want to have the responsibility of fixing the timeline as well as the city, okay? He was a huge Harry Potter fan growing up - he's gotten into all the debates about what the wizarding world should and shouldn't have done with the Time-Turner technology/magic they apparently possessed for no reason other than to let an over-achieving student take extra classes, and damnit, he doesn't want to be book 3 Hermione! He doesn't want to have to be constantly thinking about what events over the previous day or whatever might be worth going back to fix! Barry's already doing two full-time jobs; time travel would just make the responsibility to be “always on” even worse! He wants to live a normal life sometime!
Cisco and Caitlin aren't any help, either with his complicated feelings about Dr. Wells or about the time travel thing. Cisco thinks time travel is cool, but in, like, a non-personal way, theorizing that Barry might go all Back To The Future on them and accidentally erase someone from existence which, thanks Cisco. Like Barry needs any more pressure here.
God, Barry loves the guy, don't get him wrong, but sometimes Cisco is too focused on whether something is "awesome" and not enough about the actual impact of that something. Prime example: Captain Cold's cold gun, which remains an outstanding threat.
Caitlin, too; he would've thought that she'd be more sympathetic, but she'd immediately started thinking of major historical events he could change for the better - mostly the Particle Accelerator explosion, which killed her fiancé and ruined her career. Which, again, wow, pressure much? Barry can't blame her for her reaction but then she and Cisco'd gotten into an argument about paradox and neither of them were really noticing Barry's freak-out so he just said he had to go back to work and came here.
And even putting aside the whole time travel business, he really can't talk about his disappointment in Dr. Wells with them of all people, because neither Cisco nor Caitlin seem to understand that it's not actually normal for a boss to run experiments on his staff without their consent. Apparently that's "just how Dr. Wells is" and "well, you know, he is a genius" - which is not okay! Forgiving someone for being a dick because they're a genius is, like, sign number one of a toxic working environment, and Barry legitimately doesn't know how to convey that to them.
It's like they've never had a union rep bring a lawyer to ramble at them for an hour about their rights as employees. Though now that Barry thinks of it, STAR Labs was probably never unionized, so that explains that, anyway...
Besides, even if he could think of a way to explain to them that he's really upset with Dr. Wells right now, he's not actually sure if there's even a point in trying to do so. They stayed with Dr. Wells after the Particle Accelerator explosion; Barry's not sure there's anything the man could do that would break their loyalty to him.
Which is by itself kind of weird? That's a lot of loyalty to have to a single guy in relation to, well, a job. Even Hartley had been weirdly obsessed with Wells as a person, rather than just as a bad boss. Barry can sympathize with the idea of Wells being a father figure, he totally gets that, but...it's a bit weird.
Weird or not, though, it's pretty depressing. Barry's never really thought about there being a difference in their goals, him and Dr. Wells, and it's kinda depressing to realize that if there is a difference, Cisco and Caitlin - probably his closest friends right now - would fall on Dr. Wells' side.
Man, he wishes he could talk about all this to Iris. Or Len.
(Not Joe. Joe would just immediately start encouraging Barry to use his time travel powers to stop routine crime, like murders and robberies, before they ever happened, and wouldn't understand at all why Barry's reluctant to take on that sort of responsibility. He hasn't even read Harry Potter! Or, like, Minority Report!)
No, what Barry needs is someone who's his friend, not Dr. Wells' friend, someone who's nerdy enough to get it, honorable enough to keep the whole thing a secret, and scientific enough to help him think through all the potential consequences here –
Holy crap, he's an idiot.
No: he's a genius.
The answer that would simultaneously solve both of his current problems just hit him.
First problem: the suddenly-too-constricting circle of people who know about him being the Flash, thus limiting who he can talk to about this time travel/Dr. Wells development.
Second problem: the fact that he's run into a total wall on the whole disappearances thing.
Answer: He can tell his CSI friends - Gila, Terri, and Andre - about the issue!
He can't believe he didn't think of this before. They're his friends, after all, even if he kinda-maybe-sorta has been neglecting them recently in favor of Cisco and Caitlin. No one's prohibited him from mentioning the Flash thing to them (unlike Iris), and as CSIs, they're familiar with keeping things totally confidential, which he needs them to do with his identity as the Flash.
It's perfect.
After all, they're all total nerds, so they'll be able to provide an objective (semi-objective, anyway) perspective into what's going on with Dr. Wells!
Plus, they might be able to help him make progress on finding the Reverse Flash - he still thinks Chemical X is speedster residue, but he hasn't been able to confirm that because he doesn't have the tools necessary to do that in his on-site lab. But his friends do, what with all those fancy new toys they're always telling him to come play with.
They also have access to all the same case files as he does, so if he crosses off all the ones he knows aren't related to the Reverse Flash, they might be able to see a pattern in the ones that are remaining. He's been trying, but it feels like every time he's on the verge of some sort of breakthrough, something Flash-related comes up.
Seriously, this Flash thing is really starting to take over his life. He hadn't had much of a life before, so he hadn't noticed it all that much, but now that he has an engaging project at work he wants to do in his free time, he's starting to realize that he doesn't actually have any free time anymore.
Or, at least, the fact that he's given Team Flash at STAR Labs the idea that he'd give every minute of his free time to them, and if he doesn't, Dr. Wells gets annoyed, and when that happens, Cisco and Caitlin call-slash-text him pleas to come sooner.
Yes, Barry could say no, and he's trying to do it more often, but he's kind of a doormat sometimes. He's aware of that.
Though the way Dr. Wells mentions his mom every time Barry skips out on training is really starting to piss Barry off...
He's getting distracted. The point here is that his idea - telling his friends - is a great idea, and he should do it.
(A little voice in his head suggests that there might be some downsides to the idea if he thinks about it a little longer, but he's really desperate to talk to someone, so he's just going to ignore that little voice. He's sure it'll be fine.)
Decision made, Barry jumps up.
He promptly knocks his head against one of the shelves and has to spend a few Flash-speed seconds catching all the evidence samples before they crash onto the ground, but when they're all back in order, he heads out right away.
The CSI building (technically, the off-site forensic science analysis division of the CCPD, but no one calls it that) is just as he remembers it: a big squat office building painted a soul-sucking taupe color, unlovely and boring and everything Barry's job is not.
Barry smiles at it fondly.
They throw the best holiday parties here. And birthday parties. And weekend parties, any time they have to work Sundays...yeah. This place is totally awesome.
Okay, maybe the parties aren't the most exciting by anyone else's standards - Barry's well aware that D&D marathon sessions, WoW LAN parties, and high-stakes science trivia drinking contests aren't everyone's speed, but they definitely are his.
It's a good place.
Barry considers just running upstairs, but that seems rude, so he buzzes in through the front desk like a proper visitor would. The door guy - a friendly if somewhat nebbish guy named Gary who's studying frantically for grad school just about every second he can, something that doesn't seem to have changed in the entire time Barry's known him - looks up from his textbook and exclaims, "Barry! Buddy! It's so good to see you!"
Barry grins. "Hey, Gary. How's it hanging? How's John?"
Gary flushes pink in delight. "I can't believe you remember my boyfriend's name. You only met him once!"
"Between the British accent, trenchcoat, and tendency to flirt with everything up to and including inanimate objects after a few drinks, John was very memorable," Barry says dryly. "You're still together?"
"Yeah, we're good," Gary says. "He's been a bit busy with this thing at work - something called Project Rising Darkness, I don't know, I think his co-worker Manny thought it up, he's kinda emo - but he's been helping me apply to work with the FBI in my spare time now that I'm on the verge of graduating."
"At last! That's really great, Gary; I hope you make it," Barry says warmly. Something occurs to him. "Uh, actually, do you know about the new Internal Affairs guy in the CCPD?"
"No; what about him?"
"I hear he used to do undercover work in a joint CCPD-FBI group," Barry says. "Maybe he could recommend you?"
"You think so?" Gary asks, brightening. "That would be amazing! I'll reach out to him."
"You do that," Barry says, amused. He's pretty sure Gary's unique combination of overwhelming optimism and extreme eagerness to please could evoke sympathy from anyone, whether they’re an undead zombie or a ninja assassin or both; a mere supervillain like Captain Cold doesn't stand a chance. Besides, it could actually help Gary's career. "I'm here to talk to Gila, Terri, and Andre - are they still in the old room?"
"Your old crew, of course! I should have guessed," Gary says, beaming. "No, they're on the new floor - let me give you directions."
Good thing Barry asked.
See, there's some benefit to going slow sometimes.
(Barry really wishes he could think of a good way to tell Len about being the Flash - he'd get such a kick out of all the slow/fast puns Barry's made so far.)
When Barry gets up to the new floor, though, he slows down for a completely different reason.
"What the hell...?"
"Barry!" Gila exclaims, abruptly appearing out the door. That part's not a surprise; Gila was the person who inspired Barry's belief that chubby five-foot-two women with hair a color of red not found in nature are capable of a sort of magic sudden appearance thing that the Flash can only envy. "You finally came to visit!"
Barry just gestures mutely.
She grins. "So what you're saying is that you like the new lab."
"You said you got new machines!" Barry yowls. "You didn't say they redid everything with state-of-the-art tech!"
Andre - Gila's opposite in every respect, being tall, skinny, and dark-skinned - strolls out of the door, laughing. "They felt very bad," he says, grinning. "You know, you look remarkably well for someone who was in a coma for nine months."
"I know," Barry says, grinning back. "But seriously! Look at this! This is amazing!"
"You want a tour?" Terri asks, joining the rest of them.
"Do I ever!"
The tour takes them all past the end of official working hours, but no one minds; they're all used to working odd hours.
By the end of the tour, Barry's fallen in love. Deeply, irrevocably in love - with one of the new spectroanalysis machines, which he's named Julie.
"You know you can't take that back to the city with you," Andre says, sniggering.
"You can't separate me and Julie! We're meant to be!" Barry exclaims, hugging the machine.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, you big baby. You're the one who volunteered to be the on-site tech," Gila laughs. "You get the fresh crime scenes, we get the cool tech – deal with it!"
Barry mock-grumbles at her.
"Now, it's getting late," Terri says briskly. "Why don't you tell us why you're really here?"
Barry blinks.
"We're your friends, B," Andre says, not without fondness. "We know you and love you for the absent-minded super-focused asshole you are. No way you came all the way out here just to say hi and go on a tour our admittedly kickass new facility; if you wanted to do that, you would've done much earlier on."
"So what's the issue and how can we help?" Gila asks.
"Uh," Barry says.
He's never really had to tell someone. Maybe Felicity, but that was because she already knew about Oliver and he could just, you know, communicate in lots of "you know..? You know..."s.
Well, at least he can consider this good practice for telling someone like Len or Iris.
"Okay," he says. "I have - no, wait. Can you guys first promise to keep this, like, super confidential? The most confidential. It's really important. I might not be able to tell you everything, but I want to tell you some of it and, well, yeah. You guys promise?"
They all impatiently agree.
"Okay," Barry says again. Wow, this is harder to get out than he thought. Maybe it'd be easier with an oblique approach? "Uh - I have a lead on Chemical X."
"You do?!" Gila exclaims.
"Well, a hunch," he corrects. "Let's take a step back: the Particle Accelerator explosion released a lot of dark matter -"
"And don't we know it," Terri grumbles.
"- and it's been affecting people."
"How?" Andre asks.
"They've been developing strange abilities," Barry tells them. "All sorts. We've been calling them 'meta-humans'."
"You and the CCPD?"
"Uh," Barry says. "No. Me and the scientists over at STAR Labs."
"Wells," Terri growls. "Of course he'd know more than he let on."
"He's trying to help," Barry says firmly. "Please try to stay objective, Terri. Anyway: you know how you think the Flash is an urban legend?"
"Less so now, after all the reported sightings," Andre says wryly. "A good scientist admits when their hypothesis is wrong...You're saying the Flash is one of these meta-humans? That the dark matter somehow gave someone the ability to, what, run at incredible speeds?"
"Yes. And not just him; there's another speedster out there, dressed in yellow instead of red and emitting red lightning instead of yellow. I think that speedster is behind the disappearances, and that Chemical X is the residue left behind when he runs."
"A human running at Mach speeds," Gila says thoughtfully. She's the chemical analysis expert of the three of them, compared to Barry's jack-of-all-trades (with an interest in weird stuff), Terri's forensic accounting, and Andre's fingerprint/DNA specialization. "That might do the trick, yeah. But what makes you think it's not the Flash? I've never even heard of this second speedster: Occam's Razor suggests one makes more sense than two."
Ouch. No wonder Captain Cold is suspicious, if even Barry's friends jump to that assumption.
...huh. Maybe the guy really isn't a supervillain - just a very unorthodox cop worried that Barry's up to something.
Barry doesn't know exactly what to do with that thought, so he shelves it for later.
"No," he says. "I know it's not the Flash."
"Why?" Andre asks.
"Well..."
Barry runs.
Just from one end of the lab to the other, but it's enough to make his point.
"Holy crap!" Terri exclaims, amid similar exclamations. "Barry, what the hell?"
"See," he says, grinning. "Told you I knew it wasn't the Flash. Cool, isn't it?"
There's another five solid minutes of yelling about how freaking awesome super-speed is and potential scientific implications and possible applications before they finally settle down.
That, of course, is when Barry breaks out the time travel thing, and that gets all of them yelling again, this time for ten minutes.
Barry enjoys the whole thing. Not just because they do, in fact, think that the whole Flash thing pretty damn awesome but also because some of their ideas about scientific applications of his usual Flash powers are pretty damn neat: learning about brain plasticity by studying the effect of learning at super-speed, the possibility of transferring his healing powers (even if only temporarily) via a blood or bone marrow transfusion, super-speed surgery or fire rescue or even just using it to test the laws of physics as they know them...
Honestly, this is more along the lines of what Barry was expecting when Dr. Wells had asked him to agree to help scientific progress by allowing himself to be studied: crazy brainstorming, hypothesizing, testing, record-keeping with an eye towards eventual publication...
Huh.
Why haven't they done that at STAR Labs? How have they all managed to get so fully fixated on the question of speed, and specifically of maximizing speed? Even before he'd found out about the Man in Yellow and how he needed to catch up to him, everything they'd done had been aimed at making him faster.
Sure, one of the joys of a new discovery is finding out its limits, but getting to a top speed isn't the only limit they could be testing.
Now that he thinks about it, Caitlin's wistful requests to study his biological reactions were always brushed off, as were Cisco's occasional daydreams about trying to replicate even a lower level of speed in his machines; at this point, they've stopped even asking - Caitlin focusing all her research on maximizing his metabolism to enable further speed, Cisco doing nothing but creating new suits that can go faster. No different experiments, no exploring different alternatives, barely any hypothesizing and no control groups at all...
That - isn't how science is supposed to work.
Barry has the distinct sinking feeling that something is even more wrong in STAR Labs than he'd originally thought, and that in his excitement over his new abilities and joy at having new friends, he may have overlooked it entirely.
Great.
He hasn't had a chance to raise the whole Wells issue with his CSI friends yet, but he's starting to think that he might need to raise that on a different visit. Possibly after he's had some time to think about it and figure out if he's just being unduly paranoid or if there really is something off there.
After all, Terri already dislikes Wells, thinking there was something intentional behind the Accelerator explosion; if Barry doesn't tread lightly here, they might not be willing to entertain the possibility that it's all a coincidence.
...a really big coincidence.
"Okay, okay, okay!" Terri eventually shouts, holding up their hands. "Hush. We can brainstorm ideas later. Barry, I assume the difficulty you're having is in both running and analyzing?"
"I definitely leave a residue that appears similar on a surface glance," Barry confirms. "And it seems pretty similar, but I'm worried about there being bias affecting my ability to confirm if it's definitely Chemical X..."
"We have a lab room for testing," Gila says, taking charge. Chemical analysis is her specialty, even though she prefers to throw the weirder things over to Barry. "Come on."
The test, when done properly - Gila insists on several variations, plus a few "control" runs using Andre, which is so normal Barry feels like crying in relief - takes about an hour to finish on the new machines.
Barry spends the whole hour telling the group stories about the metas he's defeated – unsurprisingly, they’re a lot less interested in how he defeated them than they are in just what abilities dark matter can produce, so he eventually gives up on trying to tell them the stories and starts just describing the meta powers and letting them brainstorm possible applications or explanations for them – and trying to decide on whether he should bring up the Wells thing or not.
Assuming there even is a Wells thing beyond some crappy scientific method, bad management skills, and a few weird reactions.
He still hasn't decided by the time the result comes out.
And the result -
"Yep, this is definitely Chemical X or something extremely similar," Gila reports. "The analysis matches on multiple vectors. Congrats, Barry, you have a residue; the only question now is if you're secretly a serial kidnapper."
"Hey!"
"Joking," Gila says, smiling crookedly. "You were definitely in a coma for a few of these early ones. We came to visit a few times. You're all alibi'd out."
"Speaking of which," Terri says from where they and Andre have been pouring over the case files. "Can you come here and double-check some of these? I'm starting to see a pattern, but there are a few outliers."
Barry comes over, noticing that the files have been divided into three piles, one large and two smaller ones. "Yeah, I think -"
"No, no, there's just a few in particular," Terri says. "And I want you to think carefully if there's any chance they could be Flash-adjacent, any chance at all."
Barry nods, frowning. "You think you have something?"
"Well, maybe. I don’t know why the disappearances related to the Flash would be different, they’re still disappearances, but ignoring that, if we try to exclude them, then I think I see two patterns instead of one," Terri says. "It's not unusual in forensic accounting - people are rarely corrupt in only one way, if that makes sense? They usually have a couple of different plots happening at the same time, and that can confuse the results if you look for only one explanation. But these outliers...well, they might just be outliers. But based on the stories you've been telling us, these actually feel like they might be Flash-related, and therefore can be excluded, which would support my theory."
"What do you mean?"
“Well, take this one, Mason Bridges – he was investigating the Flash, right? And then there’s this one, Simon Stagg.”
“What about him?”
“Didn't you say you fought him - or, uh, around him, anyway - at Stagg Industries?”
Barry blinks. He hadn’t thought of that. “Yeah, good point,” he says. “Danton Black – he’s the one who basically committed suicide, it was awful – was trying to get back at Stagg Industries because they stole his work on cellular regeneration and took credit for it.”
“So Stagg witnessed a fight between a meta and the Flash right before he disappeared?”
“Uh,” Barry says. “Yes?”
“So we can say those are tangentially Flash related, too,” Terri says briskly, putting the two files into one of the smaller piles. “And this Farooq guy you mentioned, who used lightning to get rid of your powers and then got driven off –”
“I’m, like, 90% sure he died, but I’m honestly not sure.”
“No body, though,” Terri says. “I’m counting it as a disappearance. Plus you take the fact that that Professor Stein guy’s last known whereabouts were when he was heading to STAR Labs –”
“That was way before my time, though,” Barry objects. “He disappeared before the Accelerator even blew!”
“Good point. I’ll put him in the STAR Labs pile.”
Barry’s eyebrows go up. “STAR Labs pile?”
“As far as I can tell,” Terri says, “a handful of these disappearances can only be connected by the fact that they’re related to STAR Labs, particularly prior to the explosion. Could just be coincidence, but we're dealing with disappearances including the man in charge of building permits, a local paparazzo who went there to look for a scoop and never came back, this professor going there right before the explosion, that sort of thing, and since I'm looking for any pattern at all right now, I'm going to take it. But here's the interesting thing: if we put those aside, and put aside the specifically Flash-related ones as well, the rest of these – ” And here they gestured at the large pile. “– have a significantly more sinister connection.”
“Sinister?” Gila echoes.
Terri makes a face. “I’m pretty sure they’re Family hits.”
“They’re what?! No way!”
“Unfortunately so,” Terri says. “It’s pretty subtle – a lot of these people are only tangentially related to Family stuff, accountants or political figures or hospital staff or county clerks – but I’ve been doing a lot of work for the organized crime division recently, following the money trails, and I recognize some of these names.”
Barry sits down hard, all thoughts of Wells abruptly wiped from his mind. “The Man in Yellow is working as a Family assassin?”
“Possibly,” Terri says, reaching out to tap what they’d dubbed the ‘STAR Labs’ pile thoughtfully. “Not sure how that relates to these one ones if that's the case...Though if they are a Family assassin, the question arises: why? And why aren’t they doing more of them?”
“Assassination at super-speed,” Gila marvels. “They could kill the mayor in the middle of city square and no one could stop them.”
They all look at her.
“It wasn’t a suggestion! I was just saying.”
“The Families aren’t going to act that publicly,” Andre says, shaking his head. “Not in a million years; that’d bring the Feds down on their heads.”
“Not to mention inciting the whole city to riot,” Terri says. “Central’s very ‘oh, well, the Families, what can you do’ most of the time, but public interference on that scale? No way. No one would tolerate it. The only reason they’re tolerated as much as they are now is because most people feel comfortable with the way they’re cordoned off: their operations are mostly focused on the slums, their protection rackets don’t extend to the wealthiest neighborhoods, and so what if they bribe a few councilmen? We all know who they are, so it's almost like having a comforting safety valve.”
“Same with the police,” Barry says, making a face. “We all know which guys are in Family pockets are, so we all shrug it off, saying it’s better to know who it is than not to know.”
“I wasn’t saying they’d do it,” Gila protests. “Just that they could, you know, and what are people going to say? A streak of light did it? How would they even connect that to the Families? If they don’t know there are two speedsters, they’d probably just assume it was the Flash!”
Uh.
Barry hadn’t thought of that.
“Everyone would just assume it was the Families, even if they also thought it was the Flash,” Andre points out. “Everyone always blames crime in Central on the Families, and they’re usually right, too.”
Right.
Whew.
Barry doesn't want to deal with the thought of being framed at super-speed.
“I have a better question, though,” Andre continues. “If these are the Families, why are there so many? Like Terri said, the Families exist in a pretty tight balance in Central: enough influence to rule the streets, not enough to bother the movers and shakers. This many hits, in such a short amount of time? That’s not balanced. They must be planning something big.”
“The Families have been fading in power recently,” Terri offers. “Power-wise. The Feds have been taking huge bites out of them for the last decade and a half, ambushing major deals, busting huge deposits, blocking key intake lines…”
Barry snaps his fingers. “Captain Cold!”
“…what?”
“No, sorry, the new Internal Affairs guy, Captain Snart,” Barry says. “Captain Singh told me that he used to be undercover, that his cover got blown, and that the Families are still trying to kill him. He’s been helping bring them down!”
“And now he’s changed tracks to start taking down corrupt Family-bribed cops?” Gila asks, sounding impressed. “I mean, good for him; that's real dedication and work ethic there, at least for the three weeks he’s probably got left to live until the Families murder him. Especially with these disappearances.”
“Holy crap,” Barry says.
“What?”
“No, it just occurred to me,” Barry says. “All these disappearances – the Anti-Flash Task Force, which Captain Snart is involved with, is looking into these disappearances. Like you said, if you don’t know there’s two speedsters, you think it’s the Flash! That’s why he’s looking into the Flash!”
“Reasonable enough,” Terri says.
Barry shakes his head. He’s been so obsessed with trying to figure out Captain Cold’s evil plan – because, like, the guy has a mask, a superpowered cold gun, cold puns, supervillain is clearly the obvious conclusion here – that even though the thought had occurred to him once or twice, he’d never really believed in the possibility that maybe the guy is actually, well, doing his job.
Except – it seems like that’s probably what’s going on.
So weird.
“I’m going to need to think about this,” Barry says.
“Make sense,” Gila says. “Now what, though? I assume you don’t want to out yourself as the Flash.”
“Definitely not.”
“I’ll write up a draft report about how these particular disappearances appear linked to the Families,” Terri offers. “That’ll get everyone on the right track, I think, without needing to get into the other ones being Flash-related. But Gila will eventually need to submit something on the residue…”
“I can say it might be related to a speedster,” Gila says. “But that might lead him to suspect the Flash more…”
“No, you should still do that, even if it makes him suspicious,” Barry says. “Stopping this guy is the top priority, above everything else. If I have to stop being the Flash for a while or talk to Captain Snart about what I’m doing, I’ll do that. I’ll figure something out.”
“Good luck!”
Barry heads back to the office, torn between being absolutely elated at the progress they’re making and kind of horrified at what they’ve discovered. Somehow, even though he’d signed up to be a superhero, he hadn’t really thought about going up against the Families – the closest he’d come was fighting Nimbus, and that’d been one of the toughest fights he’d had yet –
There’s someone in his office.
It’s pretty late, getting close to nine p.m.; the building should be deserted. The CSI lab, which is basically Barry’s private area, should definitely be deserted; there shouldn’t be someone walking around with only one dim phone light to guide them.
What the hell’s going on?
Barry reaches inside the room and flips on all the lights at once.
“Jesus fuck!” the intruder swears, clutching at his eyes to shield himself from the glare.
The intruder –
“Detective Lloyd?” Barry asks, surprised. “What are you doing here?”
“I was looking for some of case files and evidence someone checked out,” Lloyd says, sounding annoyed. “What’re you doing here? Isn’t it past your bedtime?”
“I had to duck out for an appointment,” Barry lies. “I came back to finish up some projects. You know, if you think the evidence is up here, then the only person who could’ve checked them out is me – which cases are you looking for? I might be able to help you find it.”
Lloyd rattles off some case numbers.
Those are a few of the disappearance cases, some of the ones they’d determined were probably Family hits.
“Oh, yeah, I know where those are,” Barry says, heading towards the evidence cabinet, as he's mentally dubbed it. “Gimme a second. How long do you need them? I still have a few tests I'd like to run..."
"I don't think that's a good idea, Allen," Lloyd says.
Barry pauses in the middle of pulling out the evidence bags. "What do you mean?"
"Well, you know how it is. What with the Commissioner running for office and all, that means Deputy Commissioner Gillick's going to be moving up soon, and he doesn't like too much spending," Lloyd says, reaching out and plucking the bags out of Barry's hands. "Especially on low-priority cases like this."
"I know they're not at the top of the queue," Barry says, a little stung. "But they're still important. In fact -"
He's about to tell Lloyd about the Family connection, but Lloyd cuts him off.
"They're low-priority, Allen," he says. "Trust me. No one wants to be wasting time looking into these. Just relax, will you? Take another - heh - day off. We've got a pretty good handle on these cases." He waves the bag. "And we're pretty sure there's nothing all that serious to them."
"But -"
"That's final, Allen," Lloyd says. "Listen, take a tip from a friend, yeah? You want people to like you, you do your job, you do it well, and you don't step on people's toes in the process. It's not like these cases are going down the memory chute or something; we're just bumping them down so they don't interfere with more important stuff. You hear me?"
"I hear you," Barry says, still frowning.
Lloyd slaps him on the back, says, "I knew you weren't as uptight as they say," and heads out.
Barry would normally spend the next hour stressing out about who 'they' are and the fact that he's totally not uptight but do people think he is, but he's too busy being utterly appalled.
Why would Lloyd be warning Barry off a Family-related case? He's not one of the cops in the Family pocket, not even slightly; there's never been a hint of scandal there.
Honestly, if Barry hadn't known it was a Family case, he probably wouldn't have even thought it was all that weird. Lloyd's heavy-handed suggestion to butt out is practically normal for cops, who are notoriously protective of their cases, and even the weird hour he came by isn't all that unusual for a cop.
It's not that Barry's worried or anything, of course: once Terri and the others submit their report, the cases will be upgraded once more, no matter what Lloyd says.
But - it is a Family case. And Lloyd tried to squelch it.
Why would he do that, if it wasn't on the orders of one of the Families? Was it on someone else's orders? If so, who, and why is Lloyd listening to them?
What's going on here?
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karazrel · 6 years ago
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stydia :)
thank you love :)
Gives nose/forehead kisses: definitely stiles, he’s so much taller than lydia (and he never lets her forget it) so he’s always bending down to give her a kiss on the forehead 
Gets jealous the most: they’re both relatively jealous people but in completely different ways. like stiles? he’s always considered lydia to be miles out of his league so his jealousy is something quiet and hidden between strained smiles and bad jokes. but lydia? she burns hot and fierce and one minute stiles is obliviously chatting to the nice barista  and the next he has an arm-full of lydia who’s kissing him in a decidedly inappropriate way for public spaces
Takes care of on sick days: so we all know lydia is like a Workaholic who just.. Does Not Know How To Take A Break, even at her own peril (circa teen wolf 2011-2018) and she is the absolute worst person at being sick, not because she’s whiny but because she absolutely refuses to even acknowledge any illness of hers. so after they’ve finally gotten together stiles makes it his mission to get her to take better care of her health even if it means literally carrying her out of the library in the middle of the day because ‘lydia martin you will get some rest or so help me god i will tie you to the bed’
Drags the other person out into the water on beach day: okay so i have this headcanon that allison absolutely loved the beach and she’d drag lydia to this secluded cliffside strip of beach every weekend regardless of how much she complained (’id really rather not be picking sand out of my hair for the next three months allison’) and eventually lydia grew to love the beach just as much, if not more than allison. but then the nogitsune happened and allison died and beaches became nothing more than another place lydia couldnt go without the memory of allison choking her. and at first stiles didn’t get it because like who doesn’t love the beach? but then scott absentmindedly lets it slip that allison and lydia used to pretty much live there and it all suddenly makes so much sense. and we all know stiles just cannot let things go and so he plans a surprise trip and takes lydia to the very same beach she used to visit with allison and lydia is crushed and furious but more than anything she’s so tired of trying to forget someone who brought her so much happiness. and just when she thinks she’s all cried out, stiles brings out a fucking sharpie pen and tells her that allison deserves to be here with them too, and lydia has tears in her eyes when she writes A.A. on the nearest rock. and when stiles drags her towards the water she’s laughing just as loud and hard as before and it feels something like rebirth.
Brings the other lunch at work: they take turns because honestly? they’re both so damn bad at taking care of themselves. like lydia will spend three days straight in her lab if stiles doesnt send her 10000 messages reminding her to come home. and when stiles is working on a case? he’s damn near unresponsive to anything that isn’t a case file. so they’re both there for each other with food and a reminder to actually get some sleep when it matters.
Tries to start role-playing in bed: okay like definitely stiles 10000% because like he’s a dumbass and now he’s a dumbass with a badge so like think of all the /potential/ and so one day he walks into their house and he strides up to lydia all gruff and confident and tells her if being sexy is a crime then you’re guilty as charged ms martin and lydia just…. bursts out laughing for like 15 minutes straight (she does let him keep the handcuffs though)
Embarrassingly drunk dancer: stiles stilinski, this doesnt even need an explanation 
Firmly believes in couples costumes: again, definitely stiles like he’s been in love with lydia for like ten years ‘think of all the couples costumes we could’ve tried out in those years lydia! think of all the wasted potential!’ and lydia pretends to hate it but secretly she loves how dorky stiles is and how damn excited he gets planning their costume every single year
Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas: lydia for sure, like stiles’ gifts are always thoughtful knickknacks and handcrafts or photographs, things that warm lydias heart and make her fall in love with him all over again and she’s at a loss for what to get this beautiful man who’s given her everything she’s ever wanted and she knows that stiles doesnt care about how expensive a gift is but seeing him light up when he realises she got him an original star wars figure - or some other nerdy gift that probably cost thousands of dollars - is enough to make her day.
Makes the other eat breakfast: stiles has basically spent the better part of his teenage years making sure his dad stuck to an actual healthy diet and that’s only expanded to include lydia in the past couple of years so he insists that she eat breakfast every single morning or at least take something with her to work and send him a picture of the finished meal because he knows that if left to her own devices she’d have a cracker and call it a day
Remembers anniversaries: stiles! stiles! stiles! again, he just cannot believe that he’s married to lydia freaking martin and so any anniversary is a heartwarming reminder that he’s finally with the woman he loves so he’s always (and i mean always) doing The Most
Brings up having kids first: so one day stiles is visiting lydia at work and he notices this like gaggle of young kids surrounding her being pretty much enthralled by her every word - later he finds out that she volunteered as part of a project aimed at introducing young girls to the STEM field and she’s somewhat of a mentor - but right now all he can focus on is lydia’s brilliant smile and her bending down and talking in soft tones with the kids and answering all their questions and he’s sure his brain has short circuited because how else would you explain why he’s pretty much frozen and incapable of forming coherent words. after that, stiles cant stop thinking about lydia and kids and lydia with kids (their kid specifically) and one date night they’re out in a restaurant ordering food and lydia turns to him with a smile and asks ‘what would you like?’ and stiles just bursts out in a way too loud voice ‘kids!’ which garners a few confused looks but starts a much overdue conversation (and if ten years later claudia asks when exactly they decided to have kids at least they’ll have a funny story to tell)
Kills the bugs: neither! they’re both like borderline terrified of insects altogether so the logical thing to do? call actual saint scott mccall to come save the day and release the bugs into the wilderness
First to define them as a couple: lydia, and not because stiles doesnt want to, it’s just that they’re still so new and he kind of like cant believe that theyre an actual couple, like a couple who go out together, exclusively and he’s still waiting for someone to jump out and say ‘sike! we got you good!’ and so he’s pretty much walking on egg shells until lydia figures it out and decides to overcompensate by literally telling every person they meet until stiles is convinced that yes, this is real, and ‘no ashton kutcher is not hiding in a bush stilinski, so you better start calling me you girlfriend before i find someone who will’
Who hides their guilty pleasures longer: lydia! like stiles is a dork and he owns it, he knows he’s a giant nerd but lydia? she’d rather die than let people know of her weird obsessions (it’s stiles who eventually convinces her that it’s not a bad thing to be a passionate nerd ‘look at me, i spent my entire life being a geek and i managed to marry the most beautiful woman in the world’)
Snorts while laughing: LYDIA. listen, lydia martin may seem like a composed and elegant woman but she is such a giant dork and only a handful of trusted people know it. 
send me a ship!
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shaddy-bee · 7 years ago
Text
I KNOW ITS BEEN LIKE 300 YEARS BUT-
5 things you’ll find in my bag
Right now theres uhh Notebooks, both school and 1 art. Drink mix ins, with such great flavors as sour apple jolly rancher and crush pineapple (tm) Two packs of cards, one of which steam punk themed and the other your regular ol bicycle. A calculator. Its a shitty old one but its for tests, i have google and shit for anything i need myself.
5 things you’ll find in my bedroom
A roommate. Idk if he is gay or what but he isnt straight, name’s will. Chill dude. Sleepin rn, what a fella MY SICK ASS COMPUTER IM MISSING OUT ON BECAUSE MY ROOMMATE IS ASLEEP AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WANNA PLAY ROCKET LEAGUE WITHOUT LAGGING TO HELL also programming my mods. Need to upload that shit. Shit what number we on, 3? Okay cool. A bed. Wow really a bed in your bedrooM? yeah its pretty fuckin spectacular i know. I dont have posters n shit so like i gotta be creative you feel. A microfridge. Now i know what youre thinking, “ah a small fridge whats the big deal?” but no you dont understand, its a microwave fucking bolted onto the top of a fridge. They gave zero fucks attaching these two together and apparently the name is the same way, WHY NOT A FRIDGEWAVE EVEN LIKE MICROFRIDGE JUST SOUNDS LIKE A SMALL FRI- Last but not least, im tempted to just say my wallet here tbh, cuz its old but like, youd EXPECT that now would you? Something boring and mundane for me to fill out the word count with making everything super exciting so nah man, fuck it. Theres air in my bedroom. Fight me.
5 things I’ve always wanted to do in my life
Make a videogame. Like okay, a lot of stuff on this list is jokes and stuff, and I know im going into too much detail and my followers will probably murder me in cold blood for this shit, but im serious about this one like - i have some ideas, but i never have the motivation alone to like work whole-heartedly and finish one but like, at some point in the future id love to sit down and just go at it and make a game. Doesnt matter if its popular or big or small just i wanna make something that i love ya feel? I wanna like, go to newark, delaware. I know, its delaware and all, no one lives there, but ive met a bunch of cool people there and i was promised a donut run sometime, so lookin forward to that. Yknow that post awhile back that was like “i dont wanna be rich and like buy shit, i just wanna have enough money to throw at kickstarters whenever i want without having to strain on my food and rent costs” thats me. 100% Like i wanna have just enough money to be able to donate to cool people and watch them do cool shit - it wont always work out but thats fine, I just love shit. I wanna be able to donate like the high prize and fly out to meet these game studios for coffee and shit and just talk with em and see their passion and ideas. I love it. Im not actually really sure besides those. Like idk. I think itd be cool to enter a game tournament with my brother and win, but i doubt thatll happen and its not super like on my desires just itd be cool cuz we named ourselves Sora and Shiro after NGNL and to see that like, have us win would be great. Yeah. Ill make my fifth to think of a fifth one.
5 things on my to do list
FLOPPY DICKS i mean disks. Floppy disks. I do binding of isaac ab+ modding shit, and im currently working (its mostly done for what i want it to do) which adds a new consumable called floppy disks, effects are based on viruses, bugs, and just computer based shit. Like BSOD for instance, which makes the screen literately bluescreen. Or atleast look like it. Cant wait to watch people play with it. I gotta work on the programming class project too but honestly i dont waannnaaa. Like its cool as shit. Recreate a card game using c++ code. But man, i just love Apocrypha and Floppies so much more. Eat today???? Please. Dining hall opens in 3 hours. Its goddamn 4 am. I want my food. Dunno if ill get it - if ill stay awake till then. But i want it. Probably draw some stuff? Like i posted one drawing already (check it out if u wanna ;) kay?) but like theres wacom tablets here i can just kinda use whenever???? its great. I love being able to just draw stuff on em. Even if i suck at drawing, even if it took 10 hours to make the one i posted here, still love. Probably play more rocket league. Sleep first, soon as i get that food im CRASHIN BOI IM OUTTIE HA but uhh, rocket league has a halloween thing rn and i like playing it. Was playing earlier today and i matchd with a dude in 2v2 that had the same car, skin, AND colors set up as mine. Totaly random. We kicked some major ass together. I kept thinking of the same hat comic the entire time. (also my card was superior because it had furry ears on it ;))
5 things that make me happy
Getting an idea for a thing and working at said thing until like boom it went from this abstract idea to now it has a physical form and it works! And its fun and its great and i can share it with other people and they can have fun too!!!! that feeling is wonderful.  Obviously friends man. Just doing shit with people can be so great sometimes - like not all the time sure but like man. Its nice to talk to people and share experiences and just smile and tell bad jokes and have them groan but like it anyway like thats the shit. Going out at 2 am and walking to a nearby run down schoolyard and swinging on the swingsets and watching shooting stars burn up. Thats the good shit. Getting tents and setting em up in your friends back yard when your friend from far away comes up for a few days, and playing ridiculous games in a group like kick the can or fuckin zombie screaming your lungs out in the dark to freak em out, or just talkin around a fire about fuckin life man. The people make life great. Shits worth living for. I realize that last answer covered a LOT of shit but like, im just gonna add here videogames. Would be amiss if i didnt mention that, considering the rocket league rant above lmao. Yeah i better not make this category any longer.
5 things I’m (currently) into
Isaac modding, probably will be for awhile. Its good shit. As a suggestion from one of the people I work with (we also fuck around its a good time) i have started watching space dandy. Its a slow progress through lol like an episode or two a day but god man like its pretty ridiculous and the main character is pretty much everything i was expecting from seeing him everywhere. Rocket league again. It comes and goes with various different games to tide me over, give me a break from working. Bout 2 months ago or so said relaxing time was dominated by anime - i suddenly went on like a massive streak of watching shit. By that i mean, i watched all of hunter x hunter in like 2 weeks, among other shows prior to it. But yeah. Fuck man HXH I LOVED THE KING WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I have too many emotions about that. I wrote a rant to the Groupchat (tm) about the fucking battle and how everything is in slow motion but it fucking like makes it like foreshadowed and have so much of an impact and still so much fucking happens even while everything runs at super slow mo just GOD KLASFJBHUGHASFIUHIPJASK anyway. Yeah. Music, as always im listening to like constantly. Wireless headphones are a wonder for this, but uhh....i cant say im especially into any specific thing rn right? Like a bit ago i was super into joywave and then that faded out and now im just listening to whatever random shit, yknow? But I am into music in general. Its good. Art! A lot of times i dont do shit like for drawing right, like especially not in like pencil in notebooks but like, i sorta started doing a lot more art stuff? Like i had a period awhile back last year where i stopped using pencils and used only pens and i just loved the aesthetic of the ink like how it looked (funny how im doing the opposite of the fucking inktober though, huh?) but yeah im back into using pencils to draw shit occasionally. Im still terrible at drawing people (which is what i see mostly everyone drawing on tumblr lmao RIP) but its fun to sketch stuff out and just let my thoughts run and bounce to some music and shit right? Also the tablets. Especially with the tablets.
5 things people may not know about me (at least on tumblr)
I basically constantly wear sweatshirts, and they all have like earbuds where the strings go. All the earbud shits are broken pretty much, like occasionally they work (the one i have rn does) but like, i dont ever really use them? i have wireless headphones for my phone and a headset (because i need the mic for my computer) for said computer so like, idk. But yeah. I rarely take em off when im not home, and sometimes even when i am i just kinda keep em anyway? (also just now i realized i talked in the section for room shit about all the stuff in my current dorm, my room at home has all KINDS of wierd fucking shit in it. Really missed an opportunity there.) Like many people i like to stay hydrated and shit, but drinking water all the time seemed like a chore more than anything so i got like drink mix ins and shit, mio’s or whatever offbrand version you can find at your local SUPERSTORE CONGLOMERATE. I drink em like all the time pretty much so atleast im health in one way :P. Also gummy vitamins. I dont excercise but you can only ask for so much. Idk, its hard to think of things for this section because tumblr knows so little about me yknow? Like i never make my own posts or shit like its SUPER rare so im pretty much just tryna find random facts but that might not be interesting? Like i have a bad habbit of like talking way too loud when im excited about something right? Not quite yelling but like getting there and like idk. See? Thats not super interesting but it is something no one online would be able to really know ya feel? Idk. I mean physically im kinda fat as you do, but im also like wierdly strong? Like for someone who never works out i sure do have arm strength if nothing else lmao. My endurance is shit tho. Honestly? I can only blame it on osu and groceries. Osu is just a game i like where you mash buttons to the beat of weaboo shit tier music. The groceries is just because like, well, my policy is Least Trips Possible which means carrying in 13 bags at a time if need be it, fuck it milk too? And a watermellon? Bring it. 
Who am I tagging? Idk man. Just for shits and stuff tho i do wanna tag @theoriginalyami just to see what all’s changed in teh long time since i actually went to fill it out :P Dont feel like you have to add as much as me tho omg @milkchocolateowl because honestly? love you. Think about you a lot, just like glad im mutuals with that ray of sunshine. Good. @fantaledfish <3 (this is the friend i mentioned earlier, runs a QUALITY blog i guarantee it, better than mine for sure) @dragonfucker-supreme always top in my notes, a silent bond, like two guards assigned to watch back to back in the early dawn. Birds gather round. I can only tag so many people (i set myself a limit of 5 because...idk why i just mentally it felt right) so for my last trick gotta go with @ask-oncies-jizz like cmon man name changes for the win, also has quality icons and quality shitposts tbh, supreme top meme. Have fun yall.
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saviormysticmeme · 8 years ago
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Well, a creppy boy started talking to me on the Tumblr chat saying weird shit and asked me to be his valentine out of the blue, so.. Yeah can I request RFA+V+Saeran reacting to that? A creep talking to MC and saying creppy stuff lol. Love ur blog 💕
Is he still bothering you? If he is PM me and his ass is grassOr if you’re just in need of a fake girlfriend/boyfriend/SO also say the word I’m there y’all don’t even know how good I look in drag
Forreal tho, if someone online is ever making you feel uncomfortable don’t be afraid to get assertive or reach out for help.
Anyways
 RFA+V+Saeran react to a Creep creepin on MC
Yoosung
Yandere Yoosung: ACTIVATED i imagine a magical girl animation sequence whenever I say that
You had shown him the messages immediately because you two were playing games on an online server together when you got random, creepy PMs from GameFreak90
‘hey there, I see you’re a high level. U must be pretty good with your hands
want 2 play a game together sometime? it doesn’t have to be online ;)
its almost valentines day you know. we can hang out. ‘
You were so uncomfortable, and it went from uncomfortable to freaked out when you asked GameFreak90 to stop messaging you and he kept going, starting to talk about all the things he’d like to do to you
Yoosung searched the guys name immediately and pulled up his profile
His hands never moved so fast
‘Hey. Quit messaging MC28. She’s a good friend of mine and you’re freaking her out. -ShootingStar’
‘fuck off’
Yoosung was not having it. He didn’t have Seven’s hacking skills, or Jumins money, or Jaehee’s wit or anything the others had
But what he did have was his games
He pulled up TeamSpeak for his LOLOL guild immediately
“Guys, I need backup for an emergency raid”
It was over in minutes
Yoosung’s guild had raided and completely emptied GameFreak90′s base
Yoosung got a string of messages immediately after
hey man what the fuck
dude give me my shit back
fine im sorry im sorry give me my shit please
dude please
Yoosung just turned his mic on and with one last request of his guild “Hey, can everyone here flag this guy for inappropriate behavior”
In about 10 mins Yoosung went to pull up GameFreak90′s profile
It had been deleted
Yoosung had the smuggest of smirks on his face
Until
“My hero” You giggled and kissed him on the cheek
He went from war hero Shooting Star to blushing, stuttering, Yoosung real quick
Jaehee
It was a slow day in the coffee shop so you were just sitting at a table playing on your phone and sipping coffee
Ding.
Huh? New message.
Ding ding ding
You had a bad feeling before even opening your Fumblr app 
When you did open the little social media site, you were met with a bunch of unwelcomed advances from some strange follower
Hey valentines is coming up and im lonely
r u lonely to?
how about u be my valentine and we can go out??
You grimaced and replied with a curt “I’m sorry but no thanks”
come on babe
dont b like that
we can have fun
Jaehee had noticed to look on your face and immediately popped to your side
“Mc is everything alright?
“Yeah..I’m just getting creepy messages from some guy on Fumblr.” You handed her the phone so she could read them and her nose crinkled in distaste almost instantly
“Well your first problem is you apologized.” 
“Huh?”
Jaehee started tapping away as she spoke “Don’t apologize for not being interested. When you apologize it makes you seem more …docile. Submissive. If these creeps think you have an ounce of shyness or even politeness in you they’ll try to exploit it.”
“o-oh.” You stammered, surprised by how irritated Jaehee suddenly seemed
“Secondly,” Her expression softened a bit with a final tap on the screen “You didn’t block him immediately” She looked to you with a smile on her face, pleased with herself for whatever she said to your Fumblr follower
She handed the phone back to you and a light blush fell across your cheeks. Jaehee never seemed to be the protector type but when it comes down to it
Baehee isn’t letting anyone bother you
ever
Zen
He’s gotten his fair share of creepy fan mail, but he understands it comes with the job
But when you get creepy mail from his followers
NO NO NO NO NO
You two have all the fan mail sent to a P.O. Box so fans don’t have your home address
One time when you went to get the batch, the two of you found a handful of letters with your name on them
“My fans must see us together all the time” Zen said as he handed the letters to you, a cautious look on his face. He was worried it was going to be some fangirl writing a mean letter about how she deserves Zen instead of you
It was much creepier
It was a bunch of letters from some guy 
‘My sister is a big fan of Zen so I have to watch TV shows with him on them all the time. One time there was a news story about him, but you were in the picture with him…’
The letters go on to say how once the writer saw you with Zen he started searching you more and claimed you two would be a perfect match. He started suggesting you break up with Zen (offering for him to date his sister) and for the two of you to get together.
You have to literally hold Zen back so he doesnt march to the return address and beat the shit out of sender
“Zen it’ll be such bad press do not do not do not”
“I DON’T GIVE A SHIT”
“YES YOU DO PLS ZEN”
20 mins later
He’s not calm, but he’s not bum rushing the door so…calm enough
“Let’s think of a reasonable way to handle this” You slump into a chair, exhausted from being the only thing standing between Zen and a physical assault charge
After a few minutes of silence
..”I have an idea.”
Zen pulled out a pad and started scribbling. “He said his sister is a fan of me? Well I’ll make her an offer she can’t refuse.”
Zen ended up writing a very heartfelt note to the sister of the sender, explaining the situation and how uncomfortable you were feeling because of the brother. And if the sincerity of the letter wasn’t enough to get her to make her brother stop, the VIP pass to Zen’s next show was a good bribe. 
He sent it out the next morning, and a few days later you guys checked the PO box to find a letter from her apologizing profusely for her brother’s behavior and how she’d handle it. And about 10 pages of ‘thank you’s and compliments for Zen of course. 
Jumin
Elizabeth would only chase a laser pointer for so long, so you had a lot of free time whenever Jumin was at work
You were no stranger to social media sites as they were the best way to distract yourself for hours at a time until you had something entertaining to do
And you’ve gotten spam bots before, but never a human who was actually so forward enough to send you enough messages to make you a small novel
you look really nice in your profile picture
is that designer? man you got money to
you’re a rich bitch. wanna come see what its like on the other side of town?
You were appalled. 
“Leave me alone” was the best you could muster since you were in such a state of disgusted shock. 
The messages continued, and you ended up just blocking the guy. But even after that just looking at your phone made you a little nervous that you were going to see more messages from another douchebag
But nope
Same douchebag. Different site. 
why’d you block me? playing hard to get?
“How’d you find my profile?”
it’s not hard to figure it out since I saw your name on the other one ;*
You just blocked him again and put your phone down, resolving to entertain yourself with anything else that wasn’t social media.
Eventually Jumin came home, and the first thing he noticed was your phone sitting on the coffee table and a specific lack of…you.
He went into a panic for a moment before you stepped into the hall, freshly showered. 
“Oh, MC, there you are. I was worried for a second. You’re usually not far from your phone.” 
“Yeah..” You muttered. “Some guy just keeps bugging me”
What
What do you mean
What guy
How
You explain the situation to Jumin and his phone is to his ear almost immediately as he picks up yours with his free hand.
“Luciel? I’m cashing in on a favor….”
You knew immediately where this was going and you had a slight grin on your face, knowing the creep who kept messaging you wasn’t going to be bothering you or anyone else anytime soon
Seven
You don’t even waste time
The second you get the first creepy message
hey hot stuff
You hand your phone to Seven
He just looks down at the screen, and a devious smile spreads across his face
Sure he could mess with anyone he wanted, but this time he has an excuse to go all out and ruin this Creeps life.
Seven whips up a program in a matter of minutes, connects a USB from his computer to your phone, then texts the man back
‘Hey cutie…wanna see a picture? ;)’ and he attached a file 
It says the message was received and viewed, but no response was given.
“What’d you do?” You ask as Seven hands your phone back
With a big smirk on his face:
“Once he opens that file his phone is going to run through his chat logs and play back all his creepy messages  on a permanent loop on his screen. And if he has any wireless connection to his computer, say, cloud storage, it’s going to happen to his computer too. And every few minutes he’s going to get a picture of me dressed as a maid, because I have to deliver, you know?”
You give Seven a huge hug “Ugh, thank you. How will I every pay you back”
“You already did” He laughs
“Huh?”
“You’ll see” He winks and goes back to his computer.
You shrug and walk away, figuring you’d find out soon enough
And you did
The next time you opened your phone, your background was a nonstop slideshow of 707′s Greatest Crossdressing Pics
And all your app icons were selfies
And your gallery was filled with pictures of the red headed hacker
“SEEEEEEEVVVVVEEEEEENNNNNNNNN”
V
V was sitting on the couch and you were upstairs cleaning up and putzing around
Ding
V looked to see your phone light up on the table 
“MC, I think someone messaged you!” V yelled up the stairs
“Will you check it for me? It’s probably just a guest with a question about the party.” You called back 
“Sure.” And with that he opened your phone to find a rather crude picture  “What in the world”
my friend gave me ur number, thought you’d like this ;)
V was horrified that someone meant for you to open this 
‘I dont’ He typed back.
awww come on. you can tell from the pic im a good looking guy and my friend says ur cute. why dont we hang out
“No.” V glared at the number displayed at the top of the message board
playing hard to get? i like
V realized there was no reasoning with this idiot, and he thought it would be a waste of time trying to further communicate with a fool like his, so he bit down his better instinct and just sent a picture of himself glaring at the phone camera and typed “You’re talking to a man”
there was no reply for a moment
my friend said this was a girl
“I can assure I am not a female. Your friend gave you the wrong number. Go away”
There was no response but V was sure he could feel the embarrassment from the other side of the connection
With a satisfied huff he deleted the messages and number, figuring it best if you never have to worry about the situation
He also plans to find out which one of your friends would give your number to such a vulgar creep. 
Saeran
You two were watching a video on your phone when you got a sudden chat request on Kiik, a messaging app
Saeran cast a quizzical look at you and you return it with a shrug, signalling you had no clue
When you open it up theres just a bunch of weird messages
hey babe
hey
wanna be my valentine
i dont want to be lonely and i bet you dont either
we can keep each other company ;)
You didn’t even have a chance to respond before Saeran took the phone from your hand
“Fuck off” He was holding your phone so tight you thought he was gonna snap it in half
wow ur not very polite
“I said. Fuck. Off.” Saeran let out a breath that sounded like a growl
come on baby dont be like that
You could see a fire in your friend’s eyes and you knew things were about to get bad
“Send one more message and I’ll end your miserable existence, Scum.” 
“Saeran let’s just ignore it” You tried to take your phone back but he wouldn’t let go, too hyper focused on the screen. Instead he looked at you and said “He shouldn’t be talking to you this way.”
Ding
Both your eyes shot back to the screen
so you’ll come see me ;)
Whoever was on the other line had nooo clue who they were taunting
Saeran got up slowly, so slow it was a little creepy, when you looked at him you could see the gears running in his head
He walked over to his computer and started typing away, looking to the phone every now and then.
After about 20 minutes he finally came back to sit with you and handed your phone back.
“You….You good, Saeran?” You asked, surprised at how calmed he seemed.
He looked to you with a smile on his face and a glint in his eye. “I’m very good.”
You were almost worried to ask but “What’d you do?”
“Not much. But he’ll leave you alone soon enough.”
You stopped asking questions, he wouldn’t tell you the details anyways.
..
That night you were awoken to 
Dingdingdingdingding
You fumbled around in the dark and eventually opened your phone to see messages from the Kiik app
Iuwefjkgl
ahfuoieqhwf
please helpfehofejijeqiue
…..
I’m very sorry for what I said to you earlier. I will never contact you again. If I do my fingers will be broken.
You knew immediately. 
“Saeran what’d you do???” You sent the text
All you got back was “:)” 
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seritydoll · 4 years ago
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o lord dont get me started on the dialogue.. and how much they changed the villager personalities?? why are crankies old men??? why are peppys pop star wannabes??? why do jocks never shut up about being a jock?? why are lazy villagers so GROSS??? they never used to be like this??? 🥲🥲
literally, the villagers redeem themselves w the way they interact with things yES.. when they like.. look around at everything as they walk, and stop and turn to face the thing, and they make the ‘😯’ expression.. ITS FREAKING PERFECT. its so god damn cute.. especially when they run to the thing they wanna interact with!!!!
and SINGING oh GOD !!! i will never get over them singing!! no matter how many times my villagers sing, i will always 100000% cry over it,, its so adorable, and probably my favourite thing about the game shdhd
anyway.. good morning kennedy, im sorry for like.. ^^ all of that lol, suddenly rly needed to rant :’)
ur so correct every single thing you said is tea-im very thankful that my fav personality type has always been snooty bc imo its the most tolerable this time, they seem the most well rounded... but LAZYS hurt me so MUCH my poor babies beau and sherb wont shut up about bugs, like nooooo sherb u have the cute set furniture items theres no bugs in ur house i dont get it, and i only have a jock bc im a player who likes to have 1 of each type but theyre so irritating with their 3 lines of dialogue, thankfully merry is my peppy and she doesnt talk too much abt being a popstar so my annoyance with peppys has died down since my first 2 peppys i had on my island and i dont mind the crankys being old men as much since i kinda always got that vibe from most of them anyways
ive always seen the weird shift as them trying to group the types into age categories to sell the game better to kids and much older people, the harvest moon remake for friends of mineral town did a similar thing where they made all their datable npcs to rep different age groups so everyone who played it wouldnt be shackled into dating a 20 smth year old and like 1 30 smth like u do in most romancable games, but in the process they made a really beloved character super annoying and babyish, and that feels very similar to what happened here- like lazys are kids, peppys are tweens, jocks are teens, uchi are early to mid 20s, smug feels late 20s early 30s, snooty i cant really place but they are mature for sure def a bit older, cranky is like old dad/grandpa ofc, and normal types might be the least age defined but theyre clearly meant to be motherly. whereas in past games they were all ageless minus dobie who is drawn to specifically look old
but yeah my fav part is ive noticed that each villager has their own food they deault to or a spot they default sit at and its so heartwarming it feels like they have a schedule and routine. it makes my heart so full to see my baby diana reading with her glasses by the waterfalls or to see zell eating a doughnut beside the river infront of his house im so🥰🥰🥰 thinking about it and YES the singing theres certain ones who sing more and so when the ones who are more shy and dont sing usually do sing i like cry and ill clap for them and they get shy and i just ahhhhhh <333
anyways im replying to this a day late bc ive taken so long to get this rant out lmaoo, thank u for yelling in my askbox abt this i always welcome passionate rants- im a triple virgo please lets have heated discussions about seemingly unimportant things its my fav thing to do esp if its smth like animal crossing that ive spent a long time stanning
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