#i may still be afraid of them

[ibblescribbles]

TRASH 🚮 Speedpaint | Alt under cut:

[scamguy]

im trying to read post canon yoohankim fics and i can't be bothered to look for them on ao3 like...... im not going to lie a lot of it is really boring.... its fluff in a way that really doesnt appeal to my taste. uh oops I just wrote a bunch of shit in the tags

[altruistic-meme]

soukoku and text posts 🖤🖤

bonus:

[funishment-time]

as i've gotten older i've prized sincerity in fandom/content spaces more. i find it harder and harder to watch, for instance, Let's Players who are clearly trying to find reasons to shit on a game and pretend like they're not invested. i used to think it was funny in a schadenfreude kind of way, and now it's just kind of sad, especially if those content makers are Middle Aged. if you're like 40 and making videos where it's apparent you're hiding your excitement over FNAF Lore and using slurs to refer to anyone who does dare to get excited, that's, i think, way "cringier" than just being 40 and openly into FNAF. why do we police ourselves like this

[nekrosmos]

Nekro you have no idea what you caused in my brain with that last Poker Post. I do apologize for your notifs. 😭 But my god, the potential... Can you imagine if the life Nik tried to keep separate from Price ended up accidentally involving him too? Maybe he pissed off some dealers, maybe it's about the many people who want Nik dead or hurt. The moment Nik hears Prices name being mentioned he loses all composure. Is it hell upon earth? Does he make them regret even *considering* to plot against him? Does John know? Do they have a conversation about honesty and trust, or is John blissfully unaware as his partner goes on a hunting spree? WHO KNOWS!!! It's all so delicious either way. 😌 I think Price would have *some* idea. Just, not to full extent. That poker match does show him the realities his bf deals with though, and that reminder is enough to get him hot and bothered. JFC. I need to take a breather

also feel free to ignore this if you planned on continuing that haha i wouldn't wanna spoil or ruin anything. just here to vomit my thoughts abt nik, apologies 🙂‍↕️🙏

Never apologize for sharing your thoughts Oliv, they are highly valued !!

And for real, there's a lot to think about here. (Poker post in question)

I like the idea that Nikolai is absolutely terrified of his life impacting John in a negative way. He's scared that someone, someday, will be bold enough to try to get to John to get to Nik. It would be a terrible idea, considering how dangerous Price is as well, but it is still a risk.

Nik is also scared that Price aligning himself with someone like him, with his background, with his connections and just general shadiness, will impact John's career eventually. It's one thing to have someone like Nik as a friend, it's something else to be sleeping with him and eventually share a life with him. Maybe some hire-ups already said something about them, threatening John. Of course, Price wouldn't let this shit fly, and he probably wouldn't say anything to Nik either, he doesn't want him to worry, but Nikolai always knows, eventually. John had to reassure him a lot that day, because Nik would absolutely sacrifice his relationship with John to save him, even though John is his reason to live, and Nik means everything to John.

And then, there's your idea that Nikolai would go on a hunting spree after some people threaten or hurt John. You do not fuck with Nikolai, or the man his heart belongs to, and live to tell the tale. He would hunt them, he would get them, and he would finish them, sending a message to anyone who dares to think about attempting the same thing again. Price finds Nik on his doorstep two months later, exhausted, heavy bags under his eyes, and John asks him where he was, says he was worried sick about him. Nikolai smiles softly and simply answers "I was making sure you would be safe, John."

There would definitely be a talk about trust and honesty, because both of them would put themselves in danger to protect the other, and that is just not a productive way to go about things. They're from different worlds, and if things had turn out just a little differently, they could have been from different sides. This thought never leave their brains, and every single time they embrace, Nik and John are grateful that life turned out the way it did.

[fnafhs-aesthetics]

Maisagi aesthetic with a rabbit on the moon thematic for @loopscereal. I hope it's fine? It was a tricky one lol.

-Mod Golden.

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

Hi friends, time for my once-a-semester-ish update on my college lifeTM:

Last semester was Rough. Extremely so. I didn't know how I was going to make it through some of the weeks that I managed to get through, and it all culminated in me deleting my final paper for a really big (really difficult) class that was very important for my major just as I was trying to turn it in a little after midnight the night it was due. That was certainly an experience 😅 Thankfully the profs here are (for the most part) so gracious and kind, so I was able to rewrite the entire paper after I got home for Christmas break. That was pretty miserable, but I got through it, and I passed the class!! (barely, but I *did* pass!) I was really afraid for a while there that I would lose my scholarships, but I managed to just squeak through.

My roommate has had so many scary health situations this year, including an emergency trip to the hospital and an overnight stay there this week. I'm still processing a lot of this, so not a whole lot to say here yet.

This semester is definitely better than last semester, although my classes are difficult. I'm in two different philosophy(ish) classes, and they're definitely pushing me hard. I want to understand these concepts, and I came into the semester with the belief that it would help me a lot if I could learn to think this way... but I'm mostly just really exhausted right now and not sure if that will prove true or not.

And yet, even as tired and stressed as I am right now, I must say that God has been really kind. It's hard for me to admit lately, because I've been struggling with some old fears and questions. But as I type this out, it's the thing that is echoing around in my head -- God has been so good in certain ways, especially in providing friends and classmates who have proven themselves to be good, trustworthy, and kind. I'm so thankful for the communities that I've found here, especially this semester. I have come to love these people very much. I'm especially thankful for the community that surrounds the honors college here, and for the reading group I'm in. Both have proven to be true blessings.

Pray for me when you think of it -- especially for a specific situation that I'm trying to figure out how to handle right now, and want to grow wisely through. more in the tags.

much love - gurt

[cubtales]

[beanghostprincess]

I dont get why is so hard for some ppl to understand why Crocodile and Mihawk are angry, they aren't mad about the ship like yeah the ship looks ridiculous to them but is more about how they think Buggy keeps disrespecting them even if he didnt do that on purpose (is just his subordinates that loves him so much) idk if ppl forget that while Buggy is the leader in the public eyes the reality is that Mihawk and Crocodile are the real leaders, Crocodile himself had the idea to make the organization, was the one that recruited Mihawk, the one that went after Buggy and Buggy said he will work till the bones for free so he could pay his debt, he also was the one with the idea of putting the bounties in the Marines head and the whole Utopia stuff and then when he was explaining his plan to Mihawk Buggy just announces that he wants to be Pirate king.... Changing their whole plans and acting like they were his subordinates irl.

Mihawk whole reason why he let Buggy live was bc he wanted a peaceful life but now he needs to participate in the race for the OP for something he never cares about (that is why he told Buggy "do you wants us to fight Shanks, BB and Luffy?")

Crocodile and Mihawk had other plans overall and they never signed up for the OP (even if Crocodile wanted that in the past clearly is not the same now) and they must feel disrespected that Buggy wanted the change those plans to go after his dream and use them to achieve it when they don't even consider him his captain and he is suppose to be a subordinate and when according to Crocodile he doesn't even have a plan (even if he knows when some of the ponelyghts are he still needs: someone to read them, more crew members and find the location of the last ponelyght so let's see what they do👀).

Anyways this was longer than I thought 😭 I love Buggy and I love Cross guild, I just wanted to explain Mihawks and Crocodile pov and why they were so mad with Buggy all this time, I can't wait for another Cross Guild chapter, I wanna see their plan and their next move, I believe Buggy will get laughtale.

People just don't know how to read sometimes, but it is pretty clear that they're upset because Buggy is... Well... Buggy. We love him. Adore him. But sometimes he's a bit too impulsive and a bit too confident when he shouldn't be (he should. He just chooses the worst fucking moments to be). He's paying a debt, after all, and both Crocodile and Mihawk hate being disrespected this way. Mostly Crocodile. So of course they're going to be angry if Buggy starts acting like their boss, when in their perspective he's just a useless clown.

The whole thing about this dynamic is how Crocodile and Mihawk are both focused on the business only and have lost sight (or simply don't care) about what it means to be a pirate (it doesn't necessarily mean going for the OP but it is true that the OP thing is right now the main pirate inspiration because it sums up all the qualities of one). Buggy is more of a pirate than these two together for following his dream (finally) but that doesn't mean they have to accept that right away because at the end of the Buggy is the subordinate in this deal they've got going on. It's just a matter of time before they actually start seeing him as an equal (or treating him decently) but right now it is very understandable why they hate his guts.

[maagisterpavus]

ik this has been posted a million times but bless people who comment on ao3

I fell into another slump and haven’t touched a fic since before Christmas, and I was thinking “oh well I guess the fixation ended, time to go on another 7 year hiatus”

but someone just commented on my Extremis!pepper fic (yk, the one I was gonna scrap because the lack of any engagement was lowkey embarrassing) and it just brightened my so far very shitty day so much that I might just open the doc again and keep going

a little comment goes a long way, folks.

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

Gotta love how in Archie anti Jules and the biggest shit eating grin while poor baby scourge looked so lonely , puny and neglected.

Yeah poor little guy🥲

[yuseirra]

On bonds.

what they had in P3M was really precious!!

I refuse to believe that wasn't part of the base game..it's something that should have been there in the first place!! hope reload does them more justice!!

[brekitten]

Guilt

Sometimes, Peter feels guilty.

He knows he shouldn't, because the skipped lab days with Tony and missed dinners with May, and all the little lies and excuses he's told them to ease their worries, are really for the greater good - a fact he has been told time and time again by his superiors. But no matter how much he tells himself this, he can't stop feeling guilty about all of it.

As he bids May a hasty goodbye, throwing his backpack over his shoulder, that same guilt threatens to crush him once again. He almost wants to stay, to have dinner with his aunt like he had promised he would. But he can't.

He hopes he doesn't have a mission tomorrow night, so he can make it up to her.

He steps into the alley outside his apartment, where two men are waiting for him. They hand him a folder, he skims over the information, and he hands it back. They leave without another word.

He quickly climbs onto the roof and changes into the clothes he brought with him. The mask - the final piece of his uniform - slides over his mouth, and he finds the familiarity comforting. Unlike his Spider-Man mask, which always seems so suffocating, it covers just enough of his face to keep him anonymous. He prefers this mask, and wishes he could use it instead. But he can't, because it isn't Spider-Man's.

The mission is quick, far quicker than most. The file had included the likely locations of the target, and Peter finds the man right away. The target is in an unprotected building. All it takes is one shot from Peter's gun, and the man is dead. No one sees him leave the rooftop he took the shot from, and he makes it home without incident.

He changes back into his civilian clothing, tucking his uniform and weapons back into his bag, and goes into the apartment. May is waiting for him, and he rattles off some story of what he had done, the lies falling easily from his tongue. He tells her nothing of his mission.

He does have dinner with her that night, even though it's late. He has dinner with her the next night, too. He still doesn't feel like it quite makes up for his repeated absences, especially with how strained May's smile always looks.

He tries not to feel guilty about all of the lies and excuses he tells her. It's for the greater good, after all. Everyone he kills in Hydra's name deserves it, and their absence from this world makes the lives of everyone else better. But he knows May won't see it that way; not many people do.

Maybe someday, he can tell her the truth. But for now, he lies.

And despite knowing that what he's doing is what's best for her and everyone he cares about, he feels guilty about it all.

[cienie-isengardu]

Tomas brought that mean talk Bi-Han gave him on himself. Bi-Han only said he's tired of waiting and Tomas went on a speech why that's disrespectful to their dad. Tomas was out of line. Bi-Han should have been even harsher.

Mortal Kombat 1 made it clear that Bi-Han was not at his best mental state. Kuai Liang himself admitted to be aware that his brother’s frustration ran deeply while at the same time apparently neither Scorpion nor Smoke figured out it was their own behavior and treatment of Bi-Han that fueled the frustration in the first place. The one thing the game consequently showed is that whatever Bi-Han will say, be it an opinion about Lin Kuei’s future or just angry complain, all his brothers have to say back to him is father this, tradition that and I think even the most patient person at some point would reach the breaking point. And Bi-Han did reach his, otherwise I doubt he would openly confront Kuai Liang about their father’s death. 

So as much as it is understandable (human) that whenever Tomas or Kuai Liang mentioned father or the tradition Sub-Zero lashed out in frustration, anger alone is a poor excuse for saying mean things - unless in that scene Bi-Han did in fact speak his mind about not considering Smoke to be a true Lin Kuei. Which I doubt is the case, as they were called for the first big job in a while, and looking how

Liu Kang did not recognize Tomas through the whole story mode

Bi-Han had a final say in who is accompanying him, as he rejected aid of Raiden (Fire Lord’s current Champion) and Kung Lao and Liu Kang did not try to impose them on him

I think if Grandmaster truly had an objection to Smoke performing Lin Kuei duty or not deserving being one, he wouldn’t take Tomas on the top priority mission ordered by a very concerned Liu Kang when there were plenty of other more experienced warriors to pick up. Frankly, even if Bi-Han had a doubt about his younger brother’s skills, it wasn’t a baseless assumption, as the infiltration of the enemy's fortress proved Tomas lacks battle experience in that regard. As was seen during his fall after Nitara’s attack - instead of using his powers that literally allowed him to fly, he screamed in panic and using a knife to stop the fall was his second option after instinctively grabbing the wall with his hands failed. Which proves Bi-Han’s point but it didn’t override the decision to include Tomas into Lin Kuei duties. 

But I digress, so let’s come back to the awaiting scene alone. 

Bi-Han: “How long are we expected to linger?" Kuai Liang: “Patience, Bi-Han. There are many demands on Liu Kang's attention." Tomas: "Were he here, Father would advise us to wait without protest."

For one, Tomas did not say anything about Bi-Han being disrespectful to their father nor even to Liu Kang, only that the man would advise them - mind you, them, not Bi-Han alone - to wait as long as needed without a protest. Considering the real possibility that up to his death, their father was the final authority whose words settled any dispute between brothers, Smoke brought an argument to support Kuai Liang’s Patience, Bi-Han. There are many demands on Liu Kang's attention. He simply said what father would do himself in their situation. Something he and Kuai Liang take comfort in, as they held father’s teaching in high regard, while Bi-Han did not recognize the man’s authority any longer - what the younger brothers may know already but still ignore due to their own grief, or Bi-Han up to this moment managed to keep down his frustration under more or less effective control.

This exchange led the discussion away from Liu Kang’s treatment of high-ranked Lin Kuei to the more dangerous subject of father’s teaching and tradition:

Tomas: "Were he here, Father would advise us to wait without protest." Bi-Han: "But now he is gone and I am Grandmaster." Kuai Liang: “His teaching did not pass with him. They should still guide us." Bi-Han: "Guide us, yes. Shackle us, no." Tomas: “We can't abandon tradition." Bi-Han: "Mind your place, Tomas. Father may have taken you in, made you one of us... but your blood will never be Lin Kuei."

For me, Bi-Han’s response was harsher than Tomas’ words deserved, especially as the “your blood will never be Lin Kuei” has nothing to do with the main course of the argument - i.e., following father’s teachings and upholding tradition. If Bi-Han wanted to point out that Tomas is not in position to decide the course of the clan's politics, as it was Grandmaster’s choice alone, he could have said so instead of bringing Tomas’ past. However, at the same time, Sub-Zero’s words could be much harsher and hurtful, for example to deny him the brotherhood or right to consider himself one of Grandmaster's sons. 

The whole bicker was avoidable or at least could be toned down much better if Tomas did not bring their father into discussion. Considering that Kuai Liang was aware his older brother’s patience is a thin ice due to deep frustration, we can assume Tomas knew that too. I feel like if they acknowledged Bi-Han’s complaint or at least allowed him to vent his anger in peace, none of the following arguments would follow. 

I mean, Liu Kang called Grandmaster for top important mission (capturing Shang Tsung and destroying soulstellers), so we can assume Bi-Han and his brothers drop whatever they were doing at that moment and came ASAP only to be forced to wait for unknown to us period of time - that could be a ten minutes or hours, so Bi-Han’s complaint is not baseless. 

At the same time, I feel it is unfair to accuse Tomas of stepping out of line, as that was no formal meeting and he did not undermine the authority of the Grandmaster and older brother before outsiders. The scene was solely about them and their relationship and if Bi-Han felt comfortable to break out of his Grandmaster’s role to vent his frustration to younger brothers when they were all alone, Tomas had the same right to feel comfortable enough to state his opinion in the following discussion. This is them being brothers not the leader and subordinates, the way they were during the war meeting with Liu Kang.

Please, note, Bi-Han  as Grandmaster is singled out and to whom Fire Lord addresses only, while Smoke and Scorpion stood in their place in silence and won’t speak until the meeting is officially over, i.e. after Sub-Zero’s final decision (“We will leave immediately”). If Tomas spoke during that meeting anything contradictoring Sub-Zero’s words, even if his words were correct, then yes, that would be stepping out of line and deserves any lecture the Grandmaster would consider fitting or even dealing with Tomas’ behavior once they returned to home. 

But during the moment between brothers alone from any outsiders? It is different situation, different power balance to begin with (and really, if they didn’t feel comfortable in each company and didn’t consider waiting together as the quiet moment between just them as brothers, outside the clan politics, I doubt Tomas and Kuai Liang would sit while Bi-Han, their leader, was standing).

Did Smoke really need to bring their father into discussion, especially if he knew the late Grandmaster was a sensitive topic around Bi-Han? It could be easier to just avoid that topic however if we can acknowledge Sub-Zero’s frustration as the reason for his harsh behavior and lashing out in anger, I feel we should also acknowledge that Tomas, the same as Kuai Liang, was a son mourning the loss of father. As Smoke and Scorpion had no idea about Bi-Han’s (passive) role in their father’s death, and we don’t have an idea how long time passed since that incident, so there is a chance it was still recent occurrence and the brothers tried - and failed - to find a common ground between Sub-Zero’s ambitions and Smoke & Kuai Liang’s mourning.

Maybe Tomas was so wrapped up in his grief, he didn’t care or didn’t notice he was provoking Bi-Han? Maybe he on purpose kept bringing the late Grandmaster (tradition) into discussion to force his brother to talk about their father, because grieving people sometimes avoid talking about the dead and he did not want repeat what happened to him not speaking about mother and sister, as intro dialogue implied he did not talk about his biological family after their death (Scorpion: You never speak of your mother and sister.)

For me personally, this scene is not about who stepped out the line and who should be lectured, but rather a needed indication from the narration point that the brothers are drifting apart after their father’s death. Both sides have said things that rubbed the other in the wrong way (hearing non stop about father and tradition adds fuel to Bi-Han’s frustration, Tomas’s hearing no matter how hard he will try, he will never be a true Lin Kuei hits into his sense of self-worth), but even the closest siblings sometimes argue and it happened here.

The argument should not even happen in the first place, and maybe would not happen in any normal circumstances  but since Bi-Han and Tomas and Kuai Liang are affected by things outside their control - frustration and mourning respectively - it is understandable the heavy emotions led them to clashed over relatively small things. 

If there is one thing to say for sure, they have some serious communication problems and that is only partially about Bi-Han not saving their father and lying about that. The story mode showed us Bi-Han trying to explain his reasoning - and as much as game keeps his arguments as vague as possible, he still openly states what he wants for Lin Kuei and himself, while his brothers cling to "tradition" and "father said so" but won't present any countrarguments why those things should matters. Which is a major problem, as both sides want different things and can't find a common ground to agree on.

So no, I don't think Tomas was at fault in this scene, at least not in the sense he wanted to hurt Bi-Han by bringing father into discussion, the same as I don't think Bi-Han should be harsher. What they should have done was to talk about the issue in peace and work out the solution, but alas they weren't given a time nor opportunity until it was too late.

[rimouskis]

can I be so open and vulnerable with you guys. the card I was given from people at my old office was sincerely so nice and really validating but also I feel like the main impression I left other people with was "she's really nice" WHICH IS GOOD, I DO WANT TO BE KNOWN AS NICE but also part of me is like... should I maybe strive for "innovative" or "creative" or "a go-getter" because being The Nice One just feels a little mealy-mouthed of me y'know?

[carebooks]

am i the only one out here disappointed by the edits on yt made with taylor’s ‘who’s afraid of little old me?’

it’s has such a female rage quality to it, so when i see a character like paul atreides, anakin skywalker, the JOKER being used for that song— it’s like no one ever listened to it.

the song isn’t about going down the bad path or becoming a villain, it’s about someone who after being pushed to the edge so many times, being withheld from things, and not getting a choice. she’s called crazy and it is because they’re doing it to her intentionally. she played the game too well that they had to put her down in order to control her again.

but she doesn’t let that happen. she finally breaks away from it, she realizes they’re afraid of her and she can use that. and she learned from them, so she can use that too. it’s a quiet build up and despite what people think that it’s a villain-era song, it’s more about putting on this villain-looking cloak to protect yourself from what’s happened.