#and no hate to the fics where he doesnt want to kill and stuff

[brekitten]

Guilt

Sometimes, Peter feels guilty.

He knows he shouldn't, because the skipped lab days with Tony and missed dinners with May, and all the little lies and excuses he's told them to ease their worries, are really for the greater good - a fact he has been told time and time again by his superiors. But no matter how much he tells himself this, he can't stop feeling guilty about all of it.

As he bids May a hasty goodbye, throwing his backpack over his shoulder, that same guilt threatens to crush him once again. He almost wants to stay, to have dinner with his aunt like he had promised he would. But he can't.

He hopes he doesn't have a mission tomorrow night, so he can make it up to her.

He steps into the alley outside his apartment, where two men are waiting for him. They hand him a folder, he skims over the information, and he hands it back. They leave without another word.

He quickly climbs onto the roof and changes into the clothes he brought with him. The mask - the final piece of his uniform - slides over his mouth, and he finds the familiarity comforting. Unlike his Spider-Man mask, which always seems so suffocating, it covers just enough of his face to keep him anonymous. He prefers this mask, and wishes he could use it instead. But he can't, because it isn't Spider-Man's.

The mission is quick, far quicker than most. The file had included the likely locations of the target, and Peter finds the man right away. The target is in an unprotected building. All it takes is one shot from Peter's gun, and the man is dead. No one sees him leave the rooftop he took the shot from, and he makes it home without incident.

He changes back into his civilian clothing, tucking his uniform and weapons back into his bag, and goes into the apartment. May is waiting for him, and he rattles off some story of what he had done, the lies falling easily from his tongue. He tells her nothing of his mission.

He does have dinner with her that night, even though it's late. He has dinner with her the next night, too. He still doesn't feel like it quite makes up for his repeated absences, especially with how strained May's smile always looks.

He tries not to feel guilty about all of the lies and excuses he tells her. It's for the greater good, after all. Everyone he kills in Hydra's name deserves it, and their absence from this world makes the lives of everyone else better. But he knows May won't see it that way; not many people do.

Maybe someday, he can tell her the truth. But for now, he lies.

And despite knowing that what he's doing is what's best for her and everyone he cares about, he feels guilty about it all.

[holland-vosijk-antari]

i was just reading kell's pov in acol where he goes down to see holland in the cells, how he feels hollands eyes scraping against his own, and back in adsom where its described as two stones sparking together. not only does that make me want to go insane, it also makes me wonder if holland feels that too or if its just kell? its not mentioned as far as i can remember in any of hollands pov and not even in their first meeting flashback. the absence of it from holland's pov is a bit of a shame really though it does suggest that its just kell and the effect holland has on him... its also mentioned briefly when lila gets her antari prosthetic eye (in the sense that kell feels glad that he can look her in the eyes without that friction) which makes me wonder, if lila had both eyes would there be that sparking sensation between her and kell? would it not as their black eyes are on the same side? why would that sensation be only due to the presence of the marked eye? it's clear that kell and lila DO have a connection but then again so would most people who went through what they did together (especially as kell is quite dramatic about what he cares about). it would just be a shame to have this connection between antari be a real thing and it not be developed past a couple of brief mentions one of which to enhance a ship. the antari could be endlessly more strange so it's a shame that, even when bonded with the rings, they are essentially just very powerful magic users and not something altogether else...

[fictionfixations]

the dawn knight in place of yuu

MAJOR JP BOOK 7 SPOILERS

(anyway i like calling him the knight of dawn but also thats too many words for a name im going to be repeating a lot throughout this post so dawn knight)

okay so. i was thinking about a fic to write where a character had a part of themselves appear somewhere else? like ive been getting into omniscient reader but i have a diff story im trying to commit to rn so i cant really write something with it when i dont really know shit that happens besides like end game spoilers lOl

but i find the idea of like the 49/51 (?) interesting? i think thats the right numbers. no context to people who dont know what that means but that part broke me even though all i know about omniscient reader is by reading a shit ton of orv fanfiction. my heart man... sob.

but so anyways my mind wandered to the dawn knight

kudos to that like one fic where the dawn knight's soul appeared and attached itself to yuu except i read it when i didnt even know who he was but i thought maybe he was a buddy of lilia so im just reading and getting confused on like no why you no like lilia what (also he doesnt remember iirc and i think that was just like a instinctual feeling cause yknow humans vs fae??) but uh i know context now lMFAO

but like

just imagine this person who looks like silver but blonde. who doesnt remember who he is (as hes kind of more of just a fragment of his soul? but like he appears in NRC and not RSA because he still has a lingering attachment towards silver. wanting to see him grow because he never got the chance to)

who worries over silver

is a little nervous around fae, but maybe this is ooc but like without all the pressure from what the fuck was his name henrik(??) and like the people around him who are all anti-fae, cause he wouldve liked it if they couldve been in peace and stuff yknow? and also without those memories so its not too difficult for him to get past that and see them as people who will probably not harm others (LOOK i just want twst characters to be happy man cause everything is so sad :((( )

anyway lilia has grown since then and doesnt hate humans. maybe he doesnt exactly know how to feel about the dawn knight (UM like cause meleanor. or is it maleanor? i think thats EN spelling but tbh if not for en i wouldnt know how tf to spell it. but uh ykNOW.. he kinda. uh. still killed.)

but then maybe it becomes clear that this dawn knight (who needs an actual name. dawn sounds too on the nose and i dont think lilia associates dawn with positive feelings considering when maleanor died didnt it turn dawn or something. and then they broke down because shes DEAD.???)

is not the same dawn knight he met so long ago.

like

idk

think about it in like a. okay im pulling out honkai star rail examples now. but think of it maybe like dan feng and dan heng where they're like reincarnations of each other? but not the same person? (some people think of them as still the same considering i think(? its been a hot minute since i went through story) those memories of those reincarnations are then shared to other incarnations to help them in high elder duty thingy whatever its called but i think of them as entirely different people who happen to look similar)

i guess you could view it as a 'i once was [this], but now im this and im not the same person who did all those things'

EDIT: I AM WRONG. 2.5 spoilers but its mentioned that someone made dan heng remember his past life so its NOT canon that they remember their past life. "...led her to perform certain healing arts on Dan Heng, who had just finished his hatching rebirth, so that he would regain the memories of his past life?" but anyway thats how it turned out so uh just pretend that i mean reincarnating/past life type deal but stlil having some of those memories of the former life

idk maybe theres some lilia treating him as another son since like. all three of them are orphans who were taken in???? like its implied parallel of lilia being taken in by the mal... dRACONIA family sorry i forgot the last name om. and the dawn knight being taken in by the whoever is in charge. like the dad of henrik(?) and that person whose name i cant remember i think it was leah who the dawn knight liked and married? but so anyway they both got taken in by a family and owe them a debt and fight for them (and care for them. although idk about henrik ew, but he was also like. wanting princess glow(???) which could supposedly grant wishes i think to like cure their ill father, and saying that the dawn knight should do it for leah or something? i cant remember but he convinced him with something something leah)

i dont know where im going with this thought but like. i remember the dawn knight said something like. if things could be different? but like it cant be because they've gone too far now to forgive each other? but like he wanted there to be peace.

i remember thinking about lilia's wish in the wish upon a star event, maybe it was similar i cant recall exactly

Lilia: My wish is... ...for humans, fae, and all other species to live in harmony. [Img of the wishing star] Trey: Haha, wow. That's a pretty ambitious wish. Lilia: To join joyous hands with one another is no simple feat, even for those among the same species... To say nothing of the difficulties across species divides. You've learned about our history, have you not? All the countless tales of our failure to compromise, and the resulting conflicts? I have no desire to see such history repeated. So I make the same wish every Starsending.

like the dawn knight expressed regret that it had to be this way and wanted things to change but it was far too late. but like. he never did that stuff now (well lilia will remember so poor grandpa but. he's also been really forgiving towards humans when doing it for someone? like he endures it? like when he was searching for a way to hatch malleus and these people were really against lilia for being fae when he just existed, and he didnt fight back because it would paint a bad picture for the draconias? there was another example related to silevr but i cant remember it im. not what i was thinking about but theres also when he contemplated killing baby silver but changed his mind because he'd been trying to teach malleus to like. 'walk in time with his neighbor' and so and so and i forgot what he said but that how could he do that when he should be like setting an example for malleus or something right?)

also silver learning who his parents are in a maybe less traumatic way (like NOT running away knowing malleus' mom might die and then oh shit the ceiling collapsed and IS THAT THE ENEMY oh god please dont let malleus' egg be hurt and then he shares the same face as me? and that ring-- cue silver hating himself and being dragged in by darkness and i am just sobbing my eyes out like no silver he loved you so much :((( )

and even if lilia still holds anything against the dawn knight. still has lingering feelings even towards this not-dawn knight. that he wouldnt want to condemn the dawn knight, and then have silver condemn himself for being of that blood even though he didnt even do anything yknow?

and then when lilia dies he can meet up with the ghosts of maleanor and raverne (is that spelled right? i genuinely cant remember the EN spelling but it was something like that. uhh.??) and i know thats sad but i want lilia to be able to spend more time with maleanor and raverne too yknow? but im not sure how to do that

maybe. like the. the the . council? i cant remember its name fshuidfh but those assholes who appeared when we made it to. blackscale(?) castle... ? i. forgor. maleficia(THATS GRANDMA RIGHT?? i get so confused by who is who in draconia) castle??

but like when we get there with malleus' egg and then maleanor dies

and theres just these voices of long dead old geezers who are bitches to lilia and i hate them and i dont know how they're still there and can talk but i dont want maleanor there because they're horrible. also they literally said her sacrifice was like noble or some shit like that and im just like BITCH- (also lilia is banned from the capital or something isnt he?? like i mean he can still visit the castle. but secretly. but still :( )

so i just think.

fully getting over stuff. heart demons. talking things out. lilia gets to talk about stuff for the first time in awhile (remember when like literally no one talked about the circumstances regarding malleus' birth or something so silver and sebek just had no idea what they were getting into??? and like i guess he could talk to baul? baur? idk which one is the one on EN i forgor. but idk man.)

not-dawn knight being a really good listener. being understanding, sharing his input where appropriate. and like he also gets some of his memories which put a lot of things into proper context. and so sharing thoughts of so and so. and just. basically this talk that spirals into moving on.

sharing frustrations, sharing things that never really got to be known.? like regrets, etc etc

since i think the last time they met was when silver father reveal, and time passed and he died so its just all these lingering things that never got to be said out loud for various reasons. like maybe because company is against so and so so to say something would be like idk maybe traitorous? i dont think thats the right word but words are hard and i keep forgetting words the moment i need them

its like. the unique point of view of talking about things between former enemies. like how they viewed things, etc etc

and then when lilias lived a full life, no regrets, he meets maleanor and raverne in the afterlife.

oh yeah also about his dorm i have no fucking idea. i honestly mostly forgot what each dorm represents but either ramshackle or diasomnia, which i know is like nobility or something? but anyway dawn knight married a princess, also i associate diasomnia with fae / briar valley which is related considering hes book 7 stuff so im pushing him there anyway

or maybe the mirror cant read him because his soul is fragmented. or maybe retcon and his soul isnt like that? idk but i like to think the other part of his soul is in the afterlife with his wife yknow? and eventually silver will be there and able to meet his mom and huggies, and acknowledging that these are who his parents are, but also that lilia is also his parent and the one who raised him yknow? there can be more than two parents in my eyes.

its just that his soul is like in half because of the part of him that wants to have seen silver grown. i think i said this earlier in the post but that since the last time he saw silver was as an infant (also he had blonde hair so-)

also wasnt infant silver asleep for like hundreds of years until it was either because someone who loved him came by (lilia) or because the spell finally wore off (which is what lilia thinks. i dont know where to put my two cents at tbh of which i think is right)

so dawn knight just sitting there in the afterlife like. ..man. my childs still not here. i mean. thats a good thing that they're not dead but like. i kinda wanna see them.

or well silvers the only one so i should be saying he but gidfhuj

also it was either leah or leia i am a dumbass? maybe leah was the EN one. idk i forgot.

anyway thats enough yapping for me

[joculatrixster]

"ill admit i dont watch sos nor raft streams but im calling out ppl who r calling scott specifically abusive and ive literally never seen anyone as vilinized as scott in fics i can think off the top of my head 3 fics ive seen where scott is the vilian and portrayed as jimmys abuser which is NOT true for anyone u mentioned." You can't say Scott is the only one villainized in the same breath as admitting you haven't seen content where other CCs get villainized by the audience.

Many of the *exact same people* who criticize Scott have also come out with posts talking about how uncomfortable Sausage makes them, some of them specifically citing his behavior toward Jimmy in SOS. Of course, I can't say that's true for everyone in fandom who criticizes Scott, but in my experience people critical of Scott are critical of others, too, regardless of their sexuality. Saying the criticism is fueled by homophobia doesn't track when the people criticizing Scott are also criticizing straight CCs/characters for very similar things.

Everyone has a different fandom experience based on what circles/fan archives/discussion boards they're on, and even on the same site people can have different experiences because of stuff like algorithms and who you're following. IIRC I have seen a fic where Grian, Jimmy, Joel and Lizzie were all siblings and Lizzie called out Grian and Joel for not being good brothers to Jimmy, while the only fic I've seen with Scott being "villainized" was a short ficlet where he did something small out of jealousy that didn't have any long term effects. I have actually gone *looking* for toxic FH fanfic and not found any. (I like complicated messy relationship story lines, so I feel like toxic FH in fic form would be fun to read.) Obviously this has not been your experience, but you seem to be treating your fandom experience as if it's the same for everyone else, which it's not.

its nnot just my experience when multiple multiple ppl have spoken out about how prominent it is specifically for scott again if its just a small issue id understand but the normalization is insane, ive seen a fic where scott turns jimmy into his pet doll and he needs to be saved from his clutches. ive read a gic where scott kills pearl and wants to destroy the entire world and has jimmy as his pet who he promised to keep as long as he stayed uner his thumb. ive read a fic where scott just leaves jimmy at the alter and pearl hunts him down and lashes out violently at him and we r meant to side w pearl for attacking him bc he didnt feel bad for poor jimmy. these were not obscure fics or small fics. u seem to assume an issue others r clearly pointing out theyve seen way more than others is only something some fridnge guy is complaining about instead of perhaps something UVE missed hm? uve seen 1 fic where joel and grian r kinda shitty to jimmy and get called out ive read multiple fics where scott breaks down jimmy as a person and needs to be saved from him, ive seen multiple posts calling irl scott smajor am abuser bc of one clip, ive seen pll say jimmy deadass is uncomfortable w FH and doesnt like scott which is just weird ass behavior. yes sausage gets flack i belive this but i haven't seen a shit ton of fics making sausage break jimmy soan mentally then get killed or punished in the end for being an irredeemable abuser. ive seen multiple of that for scott or just seeing scott in general in a veryyy negative light which is clearly due to an unfavorable interpretation of his character. which is fine, but name three fics where grian is intpreted that unfavorably w over 100 kueos. no seriously show me the fics where grian dies in the 3nd and its a thing everyone is happy about in the ficand they do not mourn him at all bc they hated him. go on!

its funny how ur orignal anon nitpicked my post and ur reply again nitpicks one part of a wider post as if the point i said was even what ur replyin to, im talking fandom space but even if i wasnt im talking life series fandom while i do mention oli thats just to ponnt out that One scott clip is not Just a scott thing, girl. vilinized in life series aka what i tagged, dont be stupid here its literally just making u look stupid 😭i used grian as an example bc hes someone who acts similar in the space i was criticizing and not sausage bc i am aware things may be different in a DIFFERENT context. ur majorlyyyy derialing and not rlly proving me wrong ur just proving that u dont rlly get what im saying which is fine but also all ur points r just...not disproving anything l. ur example is 1 grian and joel being criticized in one(1) fic(which is not what vilianized even means dude but hey ill give u this u did find one somewhat grian neg fic!) and 2 a guy not even in the fandom i tagged. girl...

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas <3

cw/tws for medical stuff, complex family relationships, discussion of death

so, for context, im a regulus black kinnie (itll make sense, give me a sec aha). ive got a difficult relationship with most of my family, but most especially my mother and older sister. my sister is a lot like our family's sirius (except if he still had walburga's narcissism, cruelty and manipulation), and she really doesnt get along with either of our parents. my mother is... a difficult woman, in that she likes to victimise herself in every situation, shes homophobic/transphobic/all the phobics, shes also very narcissistic, and likes to make uncomfortable comments without bothering to be nice about it. all in all, i try not to be around her much. im also supposed to be moving out soon, and planned to minimise contact as much as possible once i do.

to the point: my mother was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. my father (hes kind of a neutral party in the family dynamics, btw) was the one talking to me about it, since she's in hospital at the moment. he said they caught it early enough where a bit of chemo over the next few months should get rid of it and she'll be okay, but 'cancer' is a scary as fuck word. he also then told me that this isnt her first time with it — she had a different type of cancer around 20 years ago.

honestly, i feel like my brain is battling itself about how i should feel. on the one hand, ive been looking forward to not having to be around her now for years, and i hold very little love for her at this point. why should i care? she'll be fine at the end of it anyway. but shes still my mum, yknow? and i feel awful having these thoughts about how badly ive always thought of her and how much ive wanted for so long to get away from her and how it almost feels like this is some sort of sick fucking joke from the universe about how i should be careful what i wish for or something.

this whole situation keeps making me think about regulus in best friends brother(? i think thats the right fic) or p much any modern au where walburga dies so tbh ill probably end up writing a fic about it to cope, but still i just... i guess i needed to tell someone? my father asked me to keep it to myself for now so that it wasnt spread around where we live (its a small area; everyone knows everyone).

and the bit with my sister - as i said, she doesnt get along with our parents. i dont talk to her much anymore either because she seemed to inherit a lot of our mothers worst traits, but im afraid that if we do talk about this then she'll have some awful thing to say about it. she makes some really dark 'jokes' sometimes about suicide and death and such, and im nervous that she'll say something about how she hopes it kills her (again, my sister fucking sick, and has zero empathy), because shes made similar jokes about other stuff in the past. i also dont think she'd understand that im still afraid for our mother even after everything shes done, and i hate the way my sister turns on me and rips the piss out of me when she doesnt like what i do.

it all kind of circles back to how im supposed to feel, i guess. part of me wants to not care and brush it off, whatever, but theres still part of me dying for my mothers love and approval and is terrified of losing her, even with the low possibility.

sorry this got so long, and for how heavy it is. i hope youre doing well cas, and thank you for all you do for us <3

Hi hon!

My god, you ARE a reg kinnie.

Here's the thing- there is not a RIGHT way to feel about those things. You have a complex relationship with your mom, so of course you'll have complex feelings about the situation. You don't need to feel guilty for feeling any certain way, because there's no right or wring way to process this. You're allowed to feel scared and neutral and confused and ambivalent. That's okay!

Your feelings aren't a betrayal to anyone, and you have a right to them. You also have a right to any action you choose to take. Remember to do what feels right for YOU, because YOU are important.

I'm here if you ever need to talk <3

Naming you reg kin anon.

[penguin--person]

ok how would’ve swap ended

heres my outline for the chapters ill never write, and here you can find a bit of chapter 11! fun! in my own words, under the cut.

we left off with sanyas place being bloodied and filled with a few corpses, dmitry nowhere to be found. chapter 10 ends. chapter 11 starts with yura, with some reflection on what happened and on his feelings, where its revealed dmitry has been taken by the facility. sanya told him this. sergei told her that.

yura and sergei meet up.

basically that. sergei says he and sanya cant stay at their place now, so theyre staying at some hotel for the nearby future, until their flat gets cleaned of all the blood and gore and dead bodies. hes more upset than in canon, because, he could have died! yura should have known better! says math tutoring with sanya is overrr and asks if he still wants to go to the zone. yura says hehe yeah then we get some more reflection. thinks about katya. and. man. ok. tarts cleave made me put some yurima in this, like, internalized homophobia. so this is a sort of yurima fic, the way that yuras like ohh what is this fucking feeling!!! and dima hates yuras guts, but tolerates him bc hes his only source of food and resources.

then the chapter would switch to anya pov. school is ending, her classrooms packing up, when she hears some of her classmates talking about this gorey event. apparently, some runaway mutant killed some people!! this classmate lives in the same complex as the kazarins maybe idk who knows. anyas like woahhh what the hell!!! and when she comes home talks to kt about it. anya exegaterates the gore a lot. katyas uncomfortable. she knows this mutant could be, and is most likely, dmitry. she doesnt reveal her own mutation. anya is in the dark. chapter 11 ends!

chapter 12 is sanya pov, shes very angry at sergei. focus on her grief, sorta. she feels dumb for letting dima get caught. he trusted her, and whatd she do? trust the wrong person. boom. angst ten thousand. of course she doesnt tell sergei that she knew dimas a mutant. hes pissed too, but not at her rlly, hes very detached from the emotional business. the chapter would end like false disposition does.

chapter 13 is the mill. not much changes. nikita still dies, yura still kills.

chapter 14 is strike 3. olya still took the blame. basically goes the same as canon. sanyas probably even more fucked up now, because she not only lost dima, but also nikita, and olya to jail. chapter 13 would have probs been very long, so strike 3 would be shorter.

chapter 15 is! yura talks to sanya. shes like hey what the fuck dude youve been avoiding me ever since nikita died. thats not cool. he ignores her and instead tells her about katya (they already met in the written part, only for a brief moment, but yura remembers). this is sanya pov so we wouldnt get much yura 'objective feelings', but hed be very insistent about blackmailing katya into helping them get dima back. sanya calls him dumb. its dangerous. yura ignores her, says hell do this with or without her. sanya agrees. basically this part of convergence

(ignore titulky,thats just subtitles) sanya is also like. invested in getting dima back. righting her wrong, you know? feels very responsible for his capture.

then, katya pov! shes scared, a bit. what if olya reports her? what if she already has? sure, shes nice, but like. she knows. she said its fine, and katya would like to believe it, but with dima getting captured. shes anxious. so she asks anya to run away with her. anya is hesistant, but kt calls her a chicken, rubs in how much anya complains about it. so she agrees. theyll leave tomorrow.

chapter 16. sanya, for the first time since dimas capture, goes to dimas hiding place. overindulgence in grief is only immature and stuff, but also, maybe she thinks she can find some stuff of his or smth. she umm. well. we get a flashback from dimas pov. its chapter 10. sanya just left him alone with sergei. sergei goes to another room. hes talking to someone. dima is so out of it. then, police busts in - with kt, there was too much, a whole swat team. with dima, there was too little, just your regular cops checking out a disturbance. they manage to shoot dima a time or two, but ultimately, he kills them and runs away. he runs all the way to his hideout. hes so scared. so angry. so upset. its just like comfort zone all over again.

somehow, he makes it to his hideout. theres not many people outside at the time, and those who are arent too keen on confronting an obvious mutant. blue sparks around him. dima thinks Im safe here im okay im safe. his thoughts are so jumbled and incoherent. he doesnt want to die. he either bleeds out or has a stroke and dies.

cut back to sanyas pov. its been at least two weeks since his 'capture'. she smells his rotting corpse before she sees it. she feels terrible. so bad. she cant even burry him. what will she tell yura? why didnt sergei tell her the truth, that he escaped? did he think shed go out looking for him? she would have. could she have saved him? why did it take her so long to go here? why did she let him die? so so much angst and grief. shes had enough.

chapter 17 is convergence. katya and anya are packing up. yura comes there, says anya wasnt responding to his messages and he got worried. this is either katya or anya pov or both. probs katya. he starts talking about dima, and the girls recognize the story. hes talking about how dima was his friend and hed like to get him out of the facility. takes out the cube, asks katya to help him get out. switch to yura pov. katya refuses. wowww what a brat. anyas so so upset with him. he doesnt listen to her, ignores her as much as possible. he talks about olya. mentions shes in custody or smth rn. that he killed a man. if katya doesnt help him, hell report her and olya will be in trouble. he takes out his phone. he doesnt show them the screen. he tried calling sanya, but she just woudlnt pick up. so, he just tells them hes on a call with her, and if they hurt him, shell report them in his place. and olya will be in trouble. he understands that hes being stupid. understands katya is just a kid. understands anya cares for her. understands her mutation could be dangerous. but so whatttt dude.. why are you against this.. you homophonbic?!?!?? you dont want to see yurima 60fps kiss?!?!?!

switch to anya pov. shes so fucking mad and upset and betrayed. hears katya counting to ten repeatedly under her breath. yelling at yura. yura fights with her a bit. he sets his hand on katyas shoulder. she pushes them both away. and just like that she turns into a monster! will somebody show up to save the day?

(drew this earlier this year, like, february/march or smth - i could redraw it better but i dont wanna lol)

chapter 18. yura calls sanya again. she picks up. he tells her its all gone to shit, asks her why she didnt pick up. anya is yelling at him, screaming for him to get out, katyas meat exploded all over olyas plcae, anyas in shambles, trying to get through to katya. shes unsuccesfull. yura basically begs sanya to come over, that its went wrong. sanya is.. well, she seems faraway. like she just saw some shit. no time to think about that tho. sanya, pissed off, because yura now made this girl cry for nothing, comse over and Oh she didnt just cry! awesome! she gets super pissed at yura. shes done. yura asks her to help, what to do. he didnt know this would happen. sanya rlly shouts at him so bad. mentions dimas dead. that she found his body. that it was all for nothing. anya would be yelling t her to get out too, but shes too exhausted. shes just hanging out with katya now. begging her to turn back. she doesnt care that shes a mutant. they can run away right now, just please, turn back, itll be okay, olya will be fine, you just have to turn back, istill love you, please turn back, please dont leave me. yura is. man. he feels like shit. dima is Dead? so he doomed this girl for nothing? doomed his relationship with his sister for nothing? wow. sanyas so pissed off and done with everything she just leaves. yura tries to call sergei. it goes straight to voicemail. what the fuck are they going to do

chapter 19. katya pov. its all fucked up. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 yura touches her shoulder and she explodes.. it fucking hurtssss. anyas so louid it hurts. someone new comes over. it hurts. someone leaves. yura calls someone again. nobody comes. it hurts. anyas crying. it hurts. yura calls somebody else and anyas screaming again. yura tries to drag anya away. shes screaming. it hurts. yura leaves. more people show up after some time. anya screams at them. they take anya away from the flat. they take katya away, too.

chapter 20. epilogue 1. yura and anya life after the incident - like a month maybe. olyas gone. shes stuck at home. sergeis so fucking done with him. anya didnt tell the containment services about yuras outburst, because, he has the recording. maybe if they dont know that olya let katya stay, they'll let her go.. but, they dont. shes in jail. yura hasnt even thanked her. yura is.. hes dealing with the death of dima, nikita, anyas grief too, and sanya. yura and sanya. sanyas pissed at him. he did to his sister what sergei did to her and dima. but hes her rfiend. shes lost so much. she cant lose him too. it sucks. theyre not happy together. yura hasnt said sorry. they dont talk about dima. they try to forget about it all. sanya and sergei. ermmm. not cool.

chapter 21. epilogue 2. sanya and anya. they talk. they hug. the end.

[lovinggreeniehours]

📝🌦️☕️👀 with five? give us the deets (also want to hear your canon because canon doesnt exist <- doesnt watch just in support of pal @snowpuffclovers)

i would kill in your honor 🫶 you are amazing

im kicking the wall though because when i say "my canon" i mean i am just going to rewrite this entire tv show and. that is so hard 😭 you have No idea how many plot holes ive had to endure and tolerate throughout the series only for them to fuck everything up this majorly on the LAST SEASON okay inhale exhale i will not rant any further im happy today hfsgkhdhjdhj

📝: how would your story in canon go? how would you influence the events of the original story?

oh my goodness gracious this is Hard 😭 the story is so hard to self insert in because of how densely packed it is. there's not much wiggle room for ari to have his own thing going on. so i did have to make that his arc (him not knowing himself when he's not doing plot things) although i am changing it, i still think it's a fitting arc for him

as for what he'd change in canon, not to brag but five's life would be sooo easy if i was there. actually 🙄 he'd worry less because he doesn't always have to rely on himself, and since there's two of them to handle things, their missions go a lot smoother. there would be an extra pair of hands to try (keyword try) and keep the family from getting distracted in their sideplots, ari literally blocks bullets for him on the regular. guys

tldr for one, they're not going to die 💀 they can save the world Without dying. oh actually i wonder. since ari's powers let's him go through time and space in his dreams, would he be able to see the ending without realizing? 🤔

🌦️: would you be accompanied by mostly fluff or angst fanfics? both? explain why.

BOTH.

i actually haven't read a lot of shippy fics in this fandom (or fics of the show in general) so i don't know how they usually handle that. the majority of the fics are about family dynamics, so i think there's a lot of "ari bonding with five's siblings and five wanting to scream cry throw up /pos about it" hwdgkgsgjfsfh

i think (especially in the early seasons before i dig harder into ari's character) there'd be character study fics on the two of them and the codependency they developed in the apocalypse. and these could go both ways but that middleground hurt/comfort is my favorite flavor 🥳

angst fics DEFINITELY include the "five leaving ari in the apocalypse" aus. i used to have this Horrible idea of them having a fight before five leaves, and five doesn't say goodbye because he's convinced ari hates him now. but ari feels even worse because he thinks he's the reason five left AND IT'S SO HORRIBLEE,,,, THIS IS SO HORRIBLE TO DO TO THEM,,, BUT IT'S SO INTERESTING,,,,,

☕️: what are the most common plots of shipping fics between you and your f/o?

the ones i mentioned above for sure. some domestic retirement fics hdsgjgddgh the old men need to rest 😭

maybe (if the fandom will dare tread here) them trying to figure out physical intimacy. fun fact, 35 years into marriage and they didn't fully know how to kiss HDSHJDSFH toothbrushes and clean water were hard to find in the apocalypse okay they were so not doing mouth contact that's gross 😭 it is a bit risky to make fic of this because they're physically 13 and 14 during s1-3, so i don't think it would be a thing until s4

👀: how does your ship with your f/o influence both of your characterisations and the world? would there be any interesting metas written about your dynamic?

the entire show is about arifive if you squint hard enough /j

no listen okay there's so much interesting stuff about them. like their main theme of "your story saved my life" where ari found happiness in his mundane life through the umbrella academy hyperfixations. and then in the apocalypse, even if they used to butt heads a lot, ari cared about five so so much. he cared about five his entire life, and he refused to let him die. and five doesn't understand the reasoning of it, but it does move him. and it makes him keep going everyday for 45 years. of course, his main goal keeping him moving was his family back home, but ari was the person holding him together. ari reminded him everyday of what he was fighting for, and like. in a way, their sheer determination and devotion saved each other. i always thought that was really neat

there's also that strange inevitability they have going on. i like using that word for them a lot because all the external circumstances dictated that there's no way in hell these two would ever cross paths??? they were born across the world from each other, with the time separation of their births being 15 years??????? AND YET. five, being as stubborn as he is, will always try to time travel and get stuck in the apocalypse. and ari will always be there, practically destined to be the last survivor on earth. there is no way they should have met, but there is no way it won't happen

even their imagery and metaphors alone are to die for, like ari's powers representing the matter that makes up the universe, while five's powers represent the time and space that moves it. five having this theme of running and ari having a theme of being stuck, but five is always there to pull him along for the ride. five often being compared to icarus for his hubris, and ari being the sun (to reference the fact that five bringing ari with him at all is a risk to the timeline. but he takes the risk anyway because he needs Everyone in his family to be safe). even the way that their powers are colored red and blue?? the two colors that represent each of the two most major timelines in the series as a whole??????

[majjiktricks]

Kaz for the ask game? Every question. All of them.

oh dear this is probably gonna be long. some of these were hard…

1. Why do you like or dislike this character? i think mgsv was the second game i played (after mgrr) and i just. bro i fell in love with this guy almost immediately. hes depressed. hes full of rage. hes got sunglasses. hes even bisexual. more seriously, i think hes just really interesting. hes somehow one of the most reality-grounded characters (in a series with characters like ocelot and fucking. the pain/the rest of the cobras) while also being the guy who invented war-as-a-business and doritos. i find his story very compelling. child of war, doesnt feel he belongs in any of the places he could claim as home, so he fights to make a place for himself... oughghg... hes also veryyyy gender goals for me :3c

2. Favorite canon thing about this character? hes a NERD. he likes trains and hes a bit of a history buff, hes full of random facts (i know its mostly for game exposition reasons to tell the player, but i also like kaz just randomly knowing shit because its fun). in mg2 hes got all those fucking WEIRD tidbits to tell snake. like the spit thing. half the time i think hes making shit up to fuck with snake. but he does know things. i need fics and stuff to make him weirder.

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character? i dont think i really dislike any of the traits he displays in the games. yeah hes got flaws and hes an asshole and he commits warcrimes, but i think all of that is what makes him interesting. so rather than dislike something ABOUT him, i dislike what was done to him. its probably been beaten to death but im SO sad they killed him off in mgs1 and THEN decided to develop his character. like. cmon. they couldve done so much cool shit with him had he not been shelved so early in the series. or even- they bring back big boss TWICE. why cant anyone else come back 🥺 i love thinking about kaz being involved in the time around/between mgs1-4…

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in? ngl i dont think about crossovers much. i dont like them.

5. What’s the first song that comes to mind when you think about them? koi no yokushiryoku. its a fucking ridiculous song but it also makes me very sad. also diamonds by sam smith. thats a bbkaz divorce song to me.

6. What’s something you have in common with this character? i recently found out that my light sensitivity is not the normal experience for everyone ✌️ so ive been wearing sunglasses a lot lol

7. What’s something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like? i think its so funny that he gets shipped with basically everyone. its so good. i love it ^_^

8. What’s something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise? thankfully i dont see it much but i really cant stand the type of people who simplify characters down into basic stereotypes just for shipping purposes. ive seen a few things of essentially a bishie kaz in art (not in fic, bc i run for the hills at the slightest whiff). like. babes. you dont need to have one really buff guy and one feminine cutesy one for you ship to be good. please… hes not helpless nor is he very thin or boyish or any of that. hes almost 6' tall and fucking jacked in pw? i also hate it when people completely write off characters for being morally grey or for doing bad things. again, thankfully this doesnt happen much in my circles because i think ive curated a sane group of mutuals who like metal gear, but for anyone else who thinks this way? babe you came to the warcrimes series and didnt expect there to be warcrimes? where you play as the VILLAIN for 3+ games? i think the bad stuff makes him more fun :3c

9. Could you be roommates with this character? depends? does he let me hit it? 😏

10. Could you be best friends with this character? i would like to think so… if i met college-era kaz i think i would want to be friends with him… if he went on to be a business major and not a guy chasing death and combat around the world, yeah probably.

11. Would you date this character? i personally dont understand dating lol. probably? but if we could also just be friends/fwb thats fine with me 😂

12. What’s a headcanon you have for this character? i like to think about the mundane things a lot… if i do something and it reminds me of The Character. for example i like the idea of kaz listening to city pop while hes cooking. its a very chill kind of music and its a genre hes likely familiar with if he kept up with anything in japan during the 70s-80s. i also think he would often smell like methol and camphor. tiger balm is very useful when it comes to pain, and he probably uses it a lot post-gz because hes the stubborn-ass type to deny medical treatment and assistance, insisting on doing everything for himself. (the same guy who got back to work after like. only a week spent recovering at mother base. and refuses advanced prosthetics that could help him…)

13. What’s an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot? 😎 for obvious reasons. its just silly <3

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character. we only ever see him in uniforms/bathing suits, but i think he would be a high fashion man. slick suits in unconventional colors, barely there but somehow tasteful club attire, very carefully accented, subtle pieces of expensive jewelry. this guy likes money, he knows how to spend it too.

15. What’s your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn’t matter if it’s canon or not.) vkaz <3

16. What’s your least favorite ship for this character? i think ive only seen it once? but. kaz/zero. why. tbf i think its mostly that i just dont like zero. at all. crusty.

17. What’s a ship for this character you don’t hate but it’s not your favorite that you’re fine with? i like pretty much all other kaz ships ive seen aside from ^^ i think i was originally neutral on ocelhira but at this point i have been swayed into liking that too :]

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire? i find his relationship with solid snake really interesting. i wish we got to see more of it… he probably has very complex feelings about snake given their relationships to big boss and i just wanna dig my little claws in and inspect it bit by bit…

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don’t like? once again the only one i can think of is kaz and zero. and its less that i dont like it than i dont understand it. i probably should go back and replay peacewalker/watch the secret phonecall thing again. theres probably just a little piece im missing to make it fit into my brain.

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn’t matter? we dont actually see kaz and amanda interact that much but man i would love more of that. they dont seem to be interested in each other at all, in the romantic/sexual sense, which i would want to see explored more. kaz is used to being seen in that lens by women and i want amanda to beat him up a little bit for it. i think shes one of few moral and sensible people in the series and i think kaz could've learned a lot from her. amanda also shouldve gotten more screentime in general. i wish she and chico were in gz or tpp somehow </3

21. If you’re a fic writer and have written for this character, what’s your favorite thing to do when you’re writing for this character? What’s something you don’t like? i want to see him taken care of <3 i will have him taken care of :]

22. If you’re a fic reader, what’s something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don’t like? i havent read too many kaz-centric fics tbh but i LOVE it when people write about the 70s for him. or any of the missing time between games tbh. i love to see what people think he was up to at the time. i havent found any consistent throughlines that i dont like yet. usually if i dont like a fic i dont finish it lol.

23. Favorite picture of this character? the model swap with quiet. you know the one. pouty kissable lips mfer.

but also so many others. theres so many good pics of him <3 this was just the first to come to mind ehehe

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them? actually, he reminds me a lot of one of my ocs LOL ive had an oc named maddox for something like 6 years now, who once i thought about it is very similar to kaz. hes got (one) fucked up eye, worked for a sketchy paramilitary agency, has a robot arm, is kind of a harlot, mellows out and settles down with his children later in life… theyre both involved with the leaders of said paramilitary agencies. they both train kids who were involved also with that same organization. maddox doesnt go and try to start his own military country LMAO but i do think the other similarities are really funny. like. no wonder i liked kaz immediately. i have a guy just like him living in my brain.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now? i had no context for who kaz was when i first met him in gz but i thought he was a funny little guy. and then when you rescue him in tpp i just wanted to take care of him…….. ngl i think that sentiment has remained, just now i am full of other feelings as well. i think if i ever get out of metal gear brain rot, kaz will be the character that sticks in my brain lonnnggg after.

[krisseratops]

Hi! How about A9, B9 and C6? Oh, and D10!

Hiiii hon! Alright lets see...

A9. Who was your first ship?

The earliest ship I remember that I got actually invested in is Reaper76 from Overwatch. I mean, traumatized old gay men who like to shoot at each other and have a HistoryTM? It covers all the basics for me. Also this ship is what made me find AO3, so it kinda introduced me to fandom as a whole and is therefore technically responsible for all the madness that came after it.

B9. Who is your OTP?

You know, I was going to say this is a hard question because I have so many pairings I like in several fandoms and I dont really pick favorites because I like different aspects about them and also Im indecisive. And then I remembered Symbrock. And nothing really comes near the level of absolutely messy devotion of (comics!)Symbrock. So yeah.

C6. Is there anything in canon that made you want to quit the show? What was it? Why do you hate it?

Oh boy, here we go... So not a show, but allllll the shit Cates did with absolute garbage & co and what came after essentially made me quit venom comics and comics in general. Do I even need to explain myself? Like I was keeping up with Venom and also Spider-man and some others because it was fun and enjoyable. And then came the egregious retconning, inconsistencies, character butchering (both how they were written but also literally), characters dying and coming back and dying again and coming back again and fucking gods apparently and how every single issue was The Most Shocking And Dramatic Things The Characters Have Ever Been Through and everything is just edgy and grimdark and angsty and so fucking STUPID and it was just. It wasnt fun or enjoyable anymore, only exhausting and frustrating and sad. And not sad like a sad story makes you feel, but sad like watching something you care about irreparably crash and burn in real time without being able to do anything about it and knowing you can never have it back the way it was (which there is enough of IRL). So I powered through until king in black where I just said "reading this bullshit is draining and depressing and doesnt bring me anything, its not worth it anymore so fuck it" and just stopped. And with my main reason for reading comics gone I ditched marvel comics altogether because lets be honest keeping up with all the different stories and timelines and crossovers and whatnot is exhausting cuz theres just so damn much going on all the time. And why torment yourself with shitty canon when you can have wonderful fanfics tailored to your specific tastes all for free? So I quit comics, read fics instead, got into some new fandoms, indulged my hc and have ever since been living blissfully unaware of the burning dumpster fire (derogatory) that is canon. I only see glimpses of it when it crosses my dash, which I use for cherrypicking for my hc and aggressively ignore the rest.

D10. What is one story idea you really want to read but no one has written yet?

I have a whole lot of story ideas I really want to read (my hcs) that no one has written yet (that would be cuz of me not writing them). But for real, I would love more stories with symbiote & spider-people shenanigans. Like there was this one comic of Peter, Miles and Gwen meeting Venom and fighting Doc Ock toghether and they were kinda buddies? More stuff like that, that has spider/symbiote interaction besides them just trying to kill each other. Maybe it exists and I just havent found it. But like, Venom in spiderverse, they have to team up with the spider gang and they kinda get along because he doesnt have any personal beef with them. He will absolutely recite and discuss Shakespear with that medieval spiderman, be enamored with little Mayday, and be nothing but gentlemanly toward spider ma'am. The other spiders find that "yeah he is freaky and has some dubious morals but isnt actually just an evil monster, he just doesnt like you Peter". The Peter in question does not like it one bit. Him and Venom (barely) tolerate each other, as they always do when they team up, but are constantly petty and passive aggressive towards each other in a funny way, bickering like an old married couple. Because of the nature of their history they also know stuff about each other and will casually drop highly personal details about the other that makes the other spiders go "👀 you sure he's your enemy and not just your ex?". Which Peter likes even less. Other story ideas i desperately need is ANYTHING WITH ANTI-VENOM HOLY SHIT WHERE IS MY BABY!?!?!?! I need stories that let him be a silly dumbass and a pathetic wet beast and occasionally getting railed that dont just exist in my head. But the amount of content on him is just dismal. I often feel like the sole inhabitant of the ghost town that is the Anti-Venom fandom. I've come across one (1) quality fic that portrays him properly (thank you @kitausuret for your invaluable service) and good art is hard to come by compared to other characters. And I realize that if I want more art of him and an Anti-Venom x Agent Venom arch-enemies-to-reluctant-allies-to-even-more-reluctant-friends-to-how-the-hell-did-this-happen excruciating slow burn, I will probably have to do it myself, which hghgnghgnhhh will take forever, but oh well.

Well, this sorta turned into an essay that turned into an impromptu vent post. Hope thats okay and you got your answers!

[watery-melon-baller]

:3

Hunter?

ive gotten TWO (and a half) asks can you tell. i have a favorite

What I like about them

hes such a bitch (affectionate) and also a NERD hes sweet and likes to learn and is just a little awkward hes trying his best.

What I dislike about them

he needs to stop running off into the wood whenever he is having a panick attack and start relying on others. get better coping machinaisms

Favourite moment

oughh hm. love like every flapjack and hunter moment (rip)

Least favourite moment

any sport in a storm had a few minutes where the second hand embarassment was so bad i could not handle it. im like stupid sensitive to that kind of stuff and sometimes i have to leave a room when its TOO much. my guy please. i do like the episode i dont hate it at all i just was like. incapable of watching it lmao

A situation with this character that I want to see explored more

augh like. everyday coven life stuff (this also goes for lilith too). id love to see like a day in the life kind of thing espeically like before lilith left the coven. what chaos goes on in the castle,,,

An interesting AU for this character

I HAVE LIKE A BILLION AUS FOR HUNTER. uh. i have my reverse au. i have the 55k fic i wrote where he accidentally kills belos and has to secretly run the goverbment (go read weekend at belos's its funny i promise). i hae an antimatic im working about him. i also had one for a while where pre-canon he ran away from belos and fled to the human realm and just. worked at the 7/11 down the street while living in the portal shack and luz befriended him. i wrote a few ficlets for it but never posted anything but its a fun au i had. it was Luz getting her first friend + hunter realizing that belos kind of sucked actually and camila trying to adopt this rabdom teenager her daughter found (she genuinly thinks luz is lying about him or is talking about one of her book characters and then after she meets hunter shes like oh ok. adoption) its fun

A crossover

i dont really have any crossovers hmmm,,,

OTP (or OT3+ etc…. just… favourite ship)

augh im like. all my favs i hit with an aroace beam so. not really lol

Other ships?

i kind of bounce bwteen bi hunter and aroace hunter but like. he should go through the struggle of "damn they're pretty" and also appprecuating your frieends beauty.

BROTP

him and luz!! again. worte an entire fic of their shenaningans. they are obnoxious and love each other. i also think something with hunter and the collector would be interesting but i dont know if they would like. get along and be best buds or anything. also him and gus!! adultified buddies but like. they're adultified in oppostite ways so they can combine to be One Whole Guy. thats how hunter and luz work btw but with being neurodivergent

NOTP

againt jusy like. no weird age gaps and incest yada yada.

An assortment of headcanons! 

OKAY

have the headcanon that belos like. shoved him into a caretaker role (which we see a Bit of in canon but i take it to an extreme). loves to play it up as "sick weak frail old man who needs his nephews help" so parentification yay. hes good at like cooking and cleaning and knows how to make a bunch of BI ersion of 16th century dishes. if something happens thenhunter feels guilty because its His respoinisbibly to take care of belos beacuse belos doesnt have anyone else!!! (false belos is juts a needuy bastard who wants to be taken sre of by his older brother and likes to play house wiht his grimwalkers. i have so many feelings about that btw)

he is just. such an isolated kid. no one noticed/cared what was going on and i get a little infuriated every time i think about it. i have so many emotions about his little sprig plushie and whenever he has to leave it behind in a fic i get emotional. he goes back to the wreckage of the castle post canon and finds his room in the rubble and sure some things are destrpyed but a few books and knickkacks are salvegable. he finds sprig a little torn up but sews him up and its ok.

he likes learning about Everything. like theres so many intersting things all the time he wants to read!! in the human realm he just devours books about everything. wikipedia rabbit hole. kinda guy who knows a random fact for almost any occasion. multitracker hunter but tbh he wouldnt really do much at hexside besides like. hes doing it for his friends. i think he would help dell out with the palistrom trees and also specialize in potions (since you dont need magic for that). he has private tutors in the coven im sure so hes probably educated very well.

hes got all kinds of fun grimwalker traits. hes mostly immune to boiling water. his eyes glow in the dark. sometimes when willow is using plant magic he can feel it under his fingnails and his hair. his hands have weird scarring and peeling and listen. listen. evryone was so dissapoited that hunter didnt have scars under his gloves but i was on the hype train for day One since HUnting Palismen bitch. i give him gloves all the time bc sensory issues + hide fucked up hands + mepahor for hiding yourself.

also is neurodivergent and trans. personanly perfer ftm but every variation is good. mtf hunter would be named bailey. his medications are like. wird mix of plant and witch medicine because grimwalker. has a terrible time in the human realm bc hes super unmedicated for a while but they find a human equivalent and hes fine now. kind of.

ok thats enough of that

[bye-bye-firefly]

I’m really glad that ao3 doesn’t have an actual pro-ai policy at the moment! I’m planning on doing some research on what Unseeliekey brought up just to at least understand what he’s talking about. I was honestly really confused and freaked out reading what he was saying. But yeah, I’m sad too. You’ve got the right to remain right here with me and it’s a little more fun when I’m with you are two of the fics that made me not only get pretty into Saiou but also made me more attached to DR and into reading fanfiction in general. And it’s just like really upsetting to see something that had that much of an effect on me be gone and know that not everyone who is in the fandom or will get into the fandom will be able to see that.

I also really hope that there’s some sort of way to glaze works too. Making stuff inaccessible to guests is always sad. When I first started reading fanfiction I was a guest and like a lot of people don’t use accounts for various reasons and it’s just sad to think about account locked stuff. And it would be so nice if the ais would just Not. Like why can’t they???? Why???

Anyway, right now I don’t think there’s any full proof, everyone will be able to be happy way to prevent the ai scraping but I’m sure you’ll figure something out that’ll be alright for at least what can be done at the moment. Your works are very cool. I really, really love them. They bring me lots of joy. Thank you for all the joy. It’s super awesome.

okay this is a REALLY long answer because i went on a whole rant so im going to cut this for people who are just scrolling normally. but also im totally going to put this into my pinned tag

a lot of what was said was like. Half true. my counterpoint to him saying that ao3 supports cp or rape or sexual assault is that no matter where you go on the internet, you will find shit like that. EVERYWHERE. ao3 doesnt support it i really seriously doubt that anyone outside of those spaces supports shit like that but ao3 is an ARCHIVE. and when you put things in the archive, you are allowed to submit whatever the fuck you want. setting rules on what could be put into the archive automatically means that other fics, which explore the topic in a critical, non-fetishistic way, are ALSO up to scrutiny. fics that explore the psyche of trauma victims? they might not be allowed. regular degular fetish content, no minors involved? completely up to scrutiny. im really not a fan of censorship OR some of the shit on the internet, but i can only control ONE THING and thats what i allow myself to see. i really dont like people saying that ao3 deserves to be taken down because of that because then that would mean twitter deserves to go down, social media as a whole deserves to go down, and just generally i dont trust people who push the "think of the CHILDREN" argument. you see republicans push that when theyre trying to ban trans or gay people out of existence so INSTANTLY alarm bells start going off in my head, not to imply that i think every single person who pushes that argument in this context is republican or right-wing. just bothers me and looks like a red flag

and to instantly get it out of the way im not involved in the fucking proship/anti discourse that whole distinction feels like destruction of critical thinking antis are often puritanicals and would kill me if they saw what i write in nameless and gasp at published books that delve into topics they think are off limits and many of the proshippers ive come across are weirdos who think that its totally normal to write romance between minors and adults in a positive light like its NORMAL and that we shouldnt think less of people who do that but fyi i am totally thinking less of people who do that and im totally thinking less of people who hate me for writing my unhealthy/toxic/abusive/codependent relationships that dont even fetishise those kinds of relationships like GET OVER IT!!!! BE NORMAL!!! GO OUTSIDE LICK A DOORKNOB KISS A GIRL DO SOMETHING!!!!!

if there is ever any advice i can give to people its to form your own opinions and dont try to put a strict solid label on your opinion because sometimes you will betray your label and youll think to yourself "am i even really that thing......." people are complex and hold many different opinions that sometimes contradict one another and thats fine. logic your shit out dont fall for charming little labels that pin you strictly on one side of an argument it makes you less likely to actually reach a point where you have a strong opinion that makes sense AND can compromise and thus bring someone more onto your side. forever

ANYWAY YEAH! i settled on making it so my osomatsu san fics go account only on the 20th and then also some of my older danganronpa single chapters go account only with them, but the multichapters im currently working on will go account only when theyre finished, with exceptions for when theres rumours going around of a scrape. makes me so oo oodofooafgofjgj mad GRRAAGGHGHGGHG

but thank you i am glad to bring joy to people's lives. readers and comments bring me a ton of joy and im glad that i can give that back to everyone ^_^ i seriously cannot thank readers and commenters enough like i never feel like i get it across well enough how grateful i am for everyone who reads my stories and gives me kudos and the people who comment like. it brings me so much joy that i cannot properly verbalise EVER

[cescalr]

For the ship asks! If we're talking Avatar, what about Mei and Zuko?

I'll be honest, I'm not fond of it. I don't really like mei in the first place - apathy never sits well with me, and she never actually changed her mind? Mei at the start is mei at the end. She didn't think what the fire nation was doing was wrong, and she only sided against Azula to stay with Zuko, which would be sweet if she... actually liked him? And I don't think she does? She was happy with Zuko during his time back at the fire nation when he was acting the part of Ozai's favoured son, and its just... eeh. They give me bad vibes, I don't know. I wouldn't be surprised if she threw a knife at him properly one of these days.

Plus, Mei doesn't have much of a character outside Zuko. I'd rather shew her development than her stagnation, and keeping her with Zuko keeps her the same. In the end, mostly, me*ko just bores me, which is the nail in the coffin for any ship. At least if I hated it I'd feel something, yk? I prefer meilee or even meizula and... really any other zuko ship (aside from aang >-< yike) over meiko, but... I wouldn't, like, absolutely hate it if a good fic had meiko in it, you know? I just don't like them in canon. Much like I've said before, I'm willing to give things their fair shot. It's just that Mei herself is a hard sell for me as a focal character. It's not even that she's a 'bad' person - I read Azula and Jet-centric fics, and even memorably one Ozai centred fic (time travel, it was interesting start but still a wip though so going to see where it leads) - it's more that I just don't know what to do with her. She's kind of a meh girlfriend and kind of a whatever person, to me.

In comparison, Zuko is literally The redemption arc guy. He's the character people want to replicate the success of. Zuko is such a person that he's iconic and Mei is kinda... there. For the record, I didn't even know she existed until I watched the show. Zukka and Zutara and Zuko's character arc were well known to me, but Mei was not. I ended up only liking zukka platonically, not minding and sometimes supporting zutara, shipping jetko for the angst and the parallelism, even giving some really au zuko stuff like that one toph arranged marriage series or his leadership/friendship/family dynamics with his crew a go, jin/zuko, song/zuko - loads of things! On the other hand, Mei didn't have much going for her in my estimation to begin with, and her portrayal by competing ship fans probably didn't help. There was one where she tried to kill him after the war ended, lmao. That was silly. But still. Bias is easy to build, even without meaning to.

So, would I say I like meiko? No. Would I say I hate it? Depends on the portrayal. Much like ronmione, I don't think it would take a lot of tweaking to make her abusive, specifically also without being OOC, which worries me. So I just don't poke that sleeping dragon and hang out in the other ship spaces.

In the end, I think they just didn't understand each other on a fundamental level. (Also important; Zuko never seemed to know what to do with her, the things shed like or appreciate, and never seemed to take her own expressions - mild as they were - of affection as well as one would expect were he actually in love with her, which is itself important to note, though of course also just my own interpretation of what we were given; a lot of their scenes were cut off at some of the most important parts, which doesnt quite sit right with me.) And I need something to dig my teeth into that just wasn't present for their relationship, except in ways I couldn't interpret positively. A shame, but oh well. We can't all like everything :).

[luvlyycy]

for the character ask thingy: 5, 7, + 22 for any character of your choosing ^.^

“5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?”

“7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?”

“22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?”

-🫀

sorry im late !!! havent checked my asks in a bit <33 also, I'll do a few characters for each. uhhh 22. has a incest mention abt childe n dabi n tomu !!

5. law , light , gojo , deadpool.

the first thing that comes to mind when i think about law is his tattoos .. they are so cool !!

for light aaa.. I'd say i like to imagine what our domestic lives would be like.

for gojo, it's just dick. literally just his cawk n balls. him bein mean to me is all.

deadpool is how much of a cutie patootie he is and how he did cocaine (it baffles me).

7. law , zoro , childe , sukuna

for law its they give him vitiligo sometimes !!! I LOVE ITTT , and give him extra super duper many piercings... hes such a emo boy..

god , for zoro... WHEN THEY GIVE HIM HIS FUCKING MELANIN BACK AAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

for childe its vv simple, when they make him manipulative, weird, stalker-ish , n off putting perv.

no curse aus are my fav with jjk so, when they give sukuna piercings and make him like cute stuff..

22. gojo , sukuna , sanji , law , deadpool , childe , dabi , tomura .

what i like for fics abt gojo is when hes really crazed, like his pupils get blown out his normally pale face is flushed pink and hes breathing heavy.. i love crazy men. one thing i dont like abt some fics is when they make it seem like he doesn't care abt anyone but himself, at that point its not gojo its ur oc babe.

gosh, i like so much stuff abt sukuna fics, mostly when they make itadori present cus his dynamic with him is sososo cute, and it'd be funny if itadori saw his uncle with a girl whos so different from him. something i do not like issss when they make reader so terribly babyfied around kuna to the point her speech sounds like shes 10.

i love when sanji is pathetic in fics, hes so down bad for reader that when she kisses his cheek hes almost crying. i love my baby sm. STOP MAKING. HIM. OOC. he would NEVER disagree with reader, EVER.

i love everything abt law fics, every take is good, next.

deadpool fics need to be silly, thank you everyone who makes him say jokes in and out of sex. that said, why take away this mans mojo? its like cutting off a dogs tail... no mojo..

I LOVE. childe . i love when they make him weird, make him weirder pls. he loves stuffing his face in a hamper of your dirty clothes type of weird. of course if he was your brother he'd be into incest, ofc he would. hes so caring abt his little brother that he would kill for him, now imagine if he had a sister?? as beautiful as reader is??? yeah, he wants his sister. that said... please, im begging you, please, make him angrier. hes not a soft baby guyys.

love when they make dabi realistic . like ofc this guy would smoke cigarettes and have a tongue piercing, OF COURSE his whole body wouldnt be burnt in a modern au — its just a big tattoo. yeah, ofc if one of his sisters stuck around for him he'd be so attached to point where he feels actual love for her. why wouldnt he ? he wants sister!reader so bad, shut up. something i hate is ... when they make dabi an insufferable asshole. like guys, i guarantee you do not love and know dabi if you make him act like a prick cus thats not dabi or touya thats a weird third option.

sigh, love when hes perverted and into piss. cus i know hes into piss. he watches porn and hentai all the fucking time, his balls are always full of nasty bitter disgusting cum because he doesnt eat or drink well. yeah hes seen sister/brother sex, why wouldn't he wanna try it? why wouldnt he call his sister mommy? or even call his gf mommy? hes a fucking bottom. when he tops he WHINES. hes a fucking loser who wants to do disgusting things to his sister and his gf. hes a fucked up person but underneath all that, hes a fucking NICE guy. overall, tomura is a gooner. stop taking away these guys mojo. im gonna kill you.

[luxu-loveskh]

OH SRRY ur new game + au (the Musketeers post is what brought my attention) that's the one I was referring to

I sed XD11

sure im happy to share info about it

I actually have a fic im working on for it but i havent been able to get the energy to continue the fic

although i will do it

eventually

but if ur interested in reading a short chapter its called a messy second chance on ao3

now to somw details regarding the au

Its an new game + au where a velvet room attendant(my oc to be exact,since lavenza has a different role) tried to send sumire,akechi and joker back in time qfter they lost the battle against maruki

Sadly the attendant messed up and got the 3 scrambled all around

Sumi got stuck in a loop where shr had to watch different version of her sisters death endlessly,not even able to save her until akechi steps in on accident pulling both of the siblings off the road

a simple move able to change alot (since hes q wildcard)

Akechis situation is that he woke up a few days before the day where he would have to kill wakaba

he decides to pack his stuff and to go into hiding hoping it would stop any kind of attempt of shido doing shit

It sadly didnt,meaning someone else is the black mask

Akirens situation is that before he really could regain his memories yaldaboths stepped in so akirens memories are locked away and he only experiences them in dreams

Futaba is the blackmask in this au,When akechi finds out he takes her into the musketeers(named by sumire) to make sure she doesnt commit crimes

Sophia was created by futaba as a helper in this au

and im debating on giving her a body in reality

The musketeers and the phantom thiefs exist both at the same time

The musketeers dont steal hearts tho,they force the shadow of a person to return to their real counterpart qnd leave the treasure

it was originally an accident do to the palace breaking before they could get the treasure

but sending a shadow away without taking the distorted desires would make a person hate the item they once cherished and they would be forced to do smth about their sins getting reminded everytike they see the item

So the mussketeers change hearts but not really

i have probably alot more info but i don't want to make this to long of a post while also wanting to leave sole plot points open for when i continue my fic and/or my comics

oh right i qlso got a few comics related to the au,i think one is currently posted

[joculatrixster]

thank you for replying! -i understand where youre coming from but i feel like some of the points you brought up about scott can't just be boiled down to homophobia if that makes sense- like people see scott as calculated because he calls making allies/friendships a 'social game' etc . and obviously grian and joel berating and teasing jimmy also isn't entirely fine but i think toxicity in the context of an alliance vs a canon-explicit marriage should be weighed differently, but ultimately im not sure that grian is actually necessarily "worse" than scott; while i think grian and joel and jimmy do have an unbalanced dynamic alot of the 'berating' between them is more like 'jimmy you idiot you died to xyz' whereas with scott in 3l it felt a bit more manipulative likewhen scott purposely placed something to scare jimmy and then made fun of him for being scared but. idk

also i think everyone understands that they're friends in real life and nothing ccjimmy is actually uncomfortable with would make it into a video but this is just to think about/interpret their characters within the context of the roleplay/storyline

again this isnt meant as an attack or anything at all - i just wanted to talk about why some people would have a different interpretation of fh!

thats fair, i read ur reply when i was busy i dont remember it well but honestly a fair take ^-^b i dont think it ALL is sorry i didnt make it clear i think the reason its POPULAR is bc scott fans r not rlly the ppl doing this its jimmy fans who dominate the fandom way more, but the fact irs happening to the gay guy IS weird and something to raise a brow to especially when there r more weird extreme fans who take it wayyy too far

it feels unbalanced to me bc it is, grian and joel have more fans in the life series rlly than scott bc most scott fans r just not life series postinfg, so when grian or joel does something mean to others in a similar vien its seen less in a negative light. im going off of memory so forgive me if i get a bit fuzzy w it

scott teases jimmy their friendship is kinda rivalry type thing its rlly just how they r, but ppl r not as used to it which is understandable too. idrc if ppl think scott is a bit manipulative hes just like. vilinized for it or seen as cold when he clearly still cares for his allies? he sacrificed SO much time in lil, he let ppl kill him in secret life, i wish i saw ppl rlly speak more on those better parts of him but also its just more normalized to intpret his actions more cold than it is for say grian who could be seen as cold for how easy he sheds alliances.

every intpretation is fine but w scott it genuinely goes into character bashing territory or just making him the stand in vilian jimmy needs to be saved from in fandom spaces which is agian fine if it happened to other characters who r similarly manipulative or calculating(martyn, scar, impulse even...) but deadass ive never seen anyone but scott put in such a position. which is weird. to me. especially when framed as him being bashed or vilinized for his straight friend who ppl hc he abuses like...ok. but where is the same energy for scar who is deadass evil af in 3rd life and limited life..? scar who destroys the ranch and kills his mother and doesnt apologize for either??? is it bc ppl just like him more so it makes more sense wven he does manipulative stuff??? martyn who is notoriously devisive for his ending and playstyle but in fics like its not great but he tends to not be as hated or put in the same level of bashing pll do for scott? hes prob the closest ive seen to the way scott is seen as an easy stand in vilian but i have not seen it as bad for him?

tho anon no not everyone understands there is a group of ppl who genuinely think scott in real life is an abusive person and actually that inspired my original post bc pll said w their whole chest they think scott is bad and makes jimmy uncomfortable

sorry if this is jumbled the other anon message is turning me into the joker...i get what u mean and i DO think its naunced but ppl REFUSE to acknowledge how weird it can feel for others to see and while i do think there r other factors...this fandom has leaned into homophobia for scott especially more frindge jimmy fans, sorry i think i mixed up a lot of things in my replys i was busy and also i genuinely dont care enough about tumblr anon posting to explain every naunce of an issue ie why i put pearl as a tag on bc the mysongy of all that is not for today thank u ^-^b

[crossover-enthusiast]

about that fic i mentioned with like streber and kevin and stuff..

i may end up turning it into an au instead, i might scrap or restart the fic or just make it soley into an au, but i'll go into the lore i have planned for it that i haven't already mentioned.

i'm going to call it the Beyond the Veil AU (BTV AU for short). As mentioned, it takes place in a timeline where candybats is official and also after Streber's canonical demise. Kevin had quit his job and is living with Radford, blaming Skid and Pump for Streber's death since it was found out on the surveillance cameras that Skid and Pump unknowingly left Streber there when he was still presumably semi-conscious. he doesn't want to see Skid or Pump ever again, he doesnt hate them but he just doesnt want to deal with the trouble they cause ever again; rarely leaving Rad's house tbh.

But- the main premise of this au is the same taken from the fanfic- Kevin believes he is being contacted by Streber's spirit, to the point he gains an obsession with Streber's messages and starts to practically lose his mind.

Radford notices how off Kevin is, to the point it really concerned him and he genuinely considered calling someone to help Kevin because he could tell he was grieving through paranoia and obsession. I'm still figuring out the specifics of what exactly IS contacting Kevin, but the idea of it is its not actually Streber; instead some sort of evil spirit wanting to gain Kevin's trust, his blind dedication, its main goal to eventually kill off Kevin.

theres more to it- but i'll save that for whatever i end up writing

Ooooooo

It could be a demon or spirit seeking a new vessel in the human world -- we know from the whole Moloch/Dexter thing that once someone is possessed the original spirit is ejected out of the body