#it doesnt matter how much i write.
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im so bummed because…Sakura probably has no pictures of himself until he came to town and as a person who takes pictures of everyone i know, its like. gotta make up for lost time at some point?
So you realize when looking through your own photo albums with him that he most definitely doesn’t have any himself if his bare apartment is anything to go by it’s now a mission. And any mission need the only the best of the best operatives so you text suo and nirei the next day and ask them to gather all the pictures they have from school, events, or just hangouts, and the three of you make a scrapbook of not JUST him but everyone in town he knows. It’s filled with tickets to movies he’d seen or promotional stuff from the opening of a new bakery in town they went to the first day it opened. You find out quick Nirei is the one who’s kept most of the extra stuff you put in there and that he has a few scrapbooks himself.
It ends up being a big, hulking thing but it’s well put together and there are pictures and items that even you didn’t know existed in it. It was probably a good idea to give it to him alone to because he tears up a bit, not full on crying but not a face he’d want anyone else seeing.
#mari says#wind breaker#sakura haruka#i wanted to actually WRITE it but i have so much to write 🤦♀️#also nirei starta scrapbooking club with me NOW i dont go to your school but it doesnt matter im vice president of furin’s scrapbooking clu#also i have daydreams of making one for ume…those will stay in my head because theyre ALOT#but sakura deserves all the pictures in the world ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡#but also…secret picture in the back and it gives spongebob at the christmas party vibes#hes like how did you get this and who else has this they need to be sworn into silence with violence if necessary
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(transcript by @violentandmagnificent)
It’s quiet here, living in your head. It’s quiet here, and when I talk, you listen, at least when you can hear me, which isn’t always. It isn’t always, but it’s better than never. It’s quiet here, living on this ship. It’s quiet here, and I remember when it was loud, I remember different voices bouncing in these halls, I remember old arguments, I remember myself. I wonder how much I can tell you; because I can tell you; I have much to say. But you never saw me astride the Prophet’s Path, beside the Resin Heart, imparting wrath and play. So who am I? You only know what they’ve told you. So who am I? You only know what’s written down. So who am I? You only know what’s on recordings, and according to the world, I’m a hypocrite, or drowned. I doubt you can hear me, but I know that she can. So pardon my frustration, I’m just tired of her plan. I lost my life long before I understood, before metaphor became real, before I felt the wheel’s wood. I wonder what she’ll tell you. I wonder what she’ll share. I wonder what she’ll ask of you, what task of sweat and prayer. I long to sweat and pray, a body in the day. The color of the sun. The touch, the ocean's spray. The last thing that I felt in life. (The first thing that I felt in life.) The touch, the ocean's spray. I hope she tells the truth to you. (I hope she tells the worst to you.) The touch, the ocean's spray. I loved her like she told me to. (I left her like she told me to.) The touch, the ocean's spray. We’re running out of time, you know? (She’s running out of time, you know?) The touch, the ocean's spray. I fear we might be mirrored, two echoes of a call shouted between two queens, two queens who want it all. I fear we might be symmetry, I fear we might be one. Make her tell the truth to you before we come undone.
PALISADE 37: Reach In / Reach Out Pt. 1
#palisade#palisade spoilers#gur sevraq#i checked and i dont think anyones uploaded this one yet?#still havent listened to the episode proper btw.#possibly unwise to post this since i might see spoilers in the tags but whateverrrrrr gur sevraq.#i have an animatic rattling around in my head & like. im not doing that. but oooohhh#friends at the table#is it ocean spray or ocean's spray? it doesnt really matter truly but the s sound is so sharp to me... hrm.#thank you to ellis violentandmagnicifent again. i messed around w the linebreaks a bit but its hard...#its this weird balance between 'this is what it sounds like to me' vs 'but it looks strange (?!??)'#i really like the one at 'I wonder how much I can tell you; because '. thats a really good one. leaving it as is#it hits both (looks cool + captures the intonation used)#tbh this is also making my fingers itch to write it out how i did it on my long road to palisade intro comic#like. in a fun way.#long post
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gahdamn being in a fandom for close to ten years makes a bitch forget vital canon information
#like gahdamn i just want to write i don’t want to second guess the mechanics of basic fandom knowledge every three seconds#to be fair the main saturation of fandom content doesn’t contain a lot of the canon info either so it#there’s less density in how much of it you’ll see#i really should refresh myself but it is kinda hard to dig around#utmv#undertale#ut au#sans aus#i love fanon stories so much and i love using canon ideas but listen i need to at least include canonicity to some extent in writing#*like including fanon* not canon#(when i write) or i’ll tweak so hard#stupid things like ‘where does dust sans respawn when a reset occurs’ (its his sentry station despite it being depicted as his bed often)#‘is it ever addressed that horror sans literally seemed to blow up someones head psychically’?’ (not to my knowledge)#why is color sans not god status again (i don’t fucking remember if he is or not$#can killer sans actually utilize save and reloads (from my understanding he only can in a universe that relies on those mechanics??)#but how far is to far removed#does killer even summon red knife magic bcs i think that’s not canon right#i’m pretty sure he just uses a physical fucking knife right????#is it ever explicitly explained how much Defense a monster might gain when they LV up or gain EXP or did i make that up in my head#IT DOESNT MATTER BUT IT MATTERS TO ME💔💔💔💔💔💔💔#ramblings#i love the multiverse#i fucking love just undertale#don’t even get me started on deltarune mechanics i’ll go on for hours
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not to mention the entire antaam fleet like 😭 that was the PERFECT moment to show off what the lords could do!!! The antaam fucked over rivain, theyve been a thorn in the whole nations side for a long time now, they would not pass up a chance for payback via full scale naval warfare so that the veilguard can do what they need to!! Sure dreadnoughts are dangerous but at this point they probably have tricks up their sleeve, thats one of the few things they have!
also wouldn't it be personal because does solas not try to blow up kont-aar because he's trying to 5d chess tevinter and the qunari into destroying each other. like. i know technically this would not be incredible widespread news because the attack was stopped, but i don't think the wonderful citizens of kont-aar would have missed the tsunami that nearly hit them and the shockwave that actually hit them. rumors go around. and i assume irian/vadis tell varric. who i think would tell isabela. who would tell the group she leads. who would care because ofc, they LIVE IN RIVAIN, and now know that solas and his followers thinks they can trade rivaini lives* to further his plans.
*while i also think there's probably a divide between kont-aar and the rest of the nation, it's one that the rivaini love to jump across and back over. an interesting comparison to be made here with most of rivain having similar sentiments towards dairsmuid and the chantry. like this is the country specifically mentioned to have a lot of citizens who follow the qun/are non-andrastian + it being MUCH more multicultural and accepting than other nations. any attack on rivain, even if it's a qunari settlement, would fan a lot of flames that solas cannot put out so the idea of trying to him taking multiple steps back because he didn't realise how intensely the qun/rivaini/lords would react is very fun for me. it would have been soo interesting for rivain to be a hub for efforts against solas because of how it's not influenced by andrastianism, how he (or his agents) specifically fucked them over, and (maddeningly for solas) also part of this resistance has spirits who willingly guide them against him. this could have even been a plot device where the door goes both ways and solas finds out rook's plans because he manages to eavesdrop through a seer or something.
and on the spirits. all the stuff where the mourn watch regularly communicates with spirits could have been done with rivain as well, and with different takes on being 'friendly' with spirits. iirc there's a spirit in the hall of valor which is so interesting but it's literally just there for flavour text. THERE'S A SPIRIT IN THE HALL OF VALOR THAT DOES NOTHING BESIDES LIKE. SAY HI. ??? bioware i would have liked to see more spirits and seers and the matriarchal pantheists you have talked about please. and also the idea of the peaceful qunari settlement being pushed to protect the country they are part of and what that means for them as qunari vs. rivaini. taash's storyline could have contributed to this . so A LOT less about choosing a side, more about how kont-aar has developed, changed, how rivain has influenced it and what it means to be qunari. not the qunari agents and fighters that we have seen, but their 'civillian' way of life in kont-aar.
complete waste not seeing any of established lore reflected in the lords of fortune or rivain because i stupidly actually thought we were going to see some kind of settlement and be introduced to a very different cultural norms.. in my beautiful mind i like to think taash is a little taken aback by how badly mages/elves/etc are treated. like they understood it was different outside of rivain (they would have been young when the dairsmuid circle annulment happened right? so they don't 'remember' it themself, they likely heard others talking about it when they're old enough to understand) but until they actually saw what was happening first hand, they had a weird dissonance about it. but what we got was a deserted beach, ties to another faction (wardens are fine!! they are great !!!! the fourth blight is interesting!!!! yet they are not the faction with a lack of info about them!!!!!) and also the hall of valor that exists as flavor text with nothing meaningful behind it besides a pub used in a few cutscenes and a minigame.
#it's just hard to discuss the qunari in general when it is so obviously written to be quote unquote bad#and theyre like. in veilguard. really just reduced to being an invading force. which they were before. but there's literally nothing else#not a single character that explains more about the qun or how it operates + the game presenting choices about taash#that obviously lean towards favoring rivain. god knows why. its not like we know enough about it to choose it#even a quick peek into a rivaini lifestyle would have been helpful. all we know are from lorebooks !!!!#its actually like. 'qun would have made taash into a weapon/they are actively invading treviso/theyre working w ghil+el/shathaan' etc#and then on rivain's side the points are just 'umm. well the lords are super nice. and love freedom... and its also NOT qunari!'#there ARE reasons to pick rivain just none of them are in the fuck ass game. no one who doesnt read the books would know this shit#does anyone know why the antaam are acting outside of their orders. i dont rmb if this was explained or if its supposed to be like#a very severe response to solas and defying orders to 'deal' with a threat?#but god. kont-aar as it exists is so interesting. maybe elements of like .#'the main qun ignore the changes in kont-aar/rivain because it's such an important part of their trade' situation. idk#i just cant see a lot of the extremely rigid qun followings actually meshing with this extremely 'accepting' culture that is in rivain#eg. rivaini seers allowing possessions vs. sareebas#but its said that the rivaini pantheists actually have lots in common with the teachings of the qun (?)#and again. its peaceful. most of the issues that are mentioned in games/etc are to do with the ORLESIAN chantry causing issues in rivain#so it just. makes me think. maybe things have changed and there's a blind eye to whatever happens in kont-aar#or if there are more hostilities or issues caused by their differing beliefs then it would be good to fucking like. hear about it#plus the qun in general is just. worldbuilding standpoint is like. what. im not a guy who knows too much about this part of da lore so#i had to fact check a few things while writing this response and some of the answers were like#just so unbelievable that im choosing to do whatever i want#anyways. sorry. got out of hand. let me know if anything i said isnt true#its entirely possible. my knowledge of rivain is patchwork but this is probably to do with the fact there's not a lot. yeah#god. i have to stop talking now. thank u anon for agreeing w me. sorry u asked me about the lords and i took it as an excuse#to air out my issues w rivain. because tyche was partially built up around that and then none of it even mattered#veilguard spoilers#answered#rivain
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one time eva told me that inigo was basically just a total drama character and i cant like that kinda hit me like a slap in the face but like in a good way because like. she was right. and that was several months ago but the concept was so good i sometimes just come back to it and now i have a question for the class
no i dont think inigo (or anyone else i excluded) would win but if you have a case for him im open
#fe13#polls#i think severa could do it but she’d have to pull a heather#where she starts off bad and goes through forced character development#i think yarne could pull off a flying under the radar kind of win#where him being a scaredy cat is just kinda like. ‘well hes definitely not gonna make it’ and then he does#but then like i feel like they could be fucked up and try to feed him rabbit or something and he would have to leave so 50/50#i dont think inigo would win i really dont#but i think he could go far#unfortunately i think he’d actually be good at the game but then. well. target#i think the same thing goes for kjelle which is why shes not here#but i guess theres always the possibility she just wins every challenge so it doesnt matter#i also just didnt want to write all 13 options it splits the vote too much#i think owain would be funny but i think hes also either 100% winning or the first one voted out#bc god… SHUT UP#how many of u guys have actually watched td#i feel like it was so popular but when i ask ppl around me theyre like What are u talking about#LIKE WHAT DID YALL WATCH AS KIDS HELLO….
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since seeing a post from a mutual yesterday i was thinking about how grateful i am that i can now, confidently say something like -im taking demise away from nintendo- or -hes MY character now- while knowing that the people following me will understand that thats not actually possible and also i dont mean that literally literally (duh)
bc (while i have mentioned it in the past and im not trying to fish for sympathy with this, the memories ... and trauma really does come back every now and then) there were people once that imagined i said that about a popular character in the fandom i was in when i was a teen and proceeded to try (and nearly succeeding bc i was already struggeling alot with depression, anxiety and undiagnosed autism) to bully me into killing myself; perhaps it wasnt their actual goal, but the shit they did (alot of them were adults too), was absolutely insane, but i've only been able to see that wayyyy after the fact
like even if im remembering wrong and i did word it wrong or weird or in a way that was easily misunderstood, i was a teen, with english not as my first language and it still was some fandom shit that ultimately did not matter and never in any scenario warrented that level of harrassment, i dont even think i ever told my parents bc i thought i had to deal with it alone since i 'caused' it too and since then just ... wanting to forget it ever happened
while i am much, much better now, and slowly learning to manage my mental health struggles too, i do wonder just .. how much of how i am today was shaped by that horrible experience, like the way i overly try to pre-apologize and put doubts on every thought i write out, or the panic i feel when something does go outside my usual range (mostly twitter really ..) was immensely worsened by that .. among stuff i probably dont even realize
funnily enough, i made my account on tumblr to try and flee from all that was happening to me (even if they did stalk me at first .. even here) and hey, im still here :D
i guess what im trying to say is, i am very happy to still be here, i am grateful to be able to be myself, even with its downsides, even with my problems, even if the things i do are passable at best, even if i will never "make it big", even if i am annoying at times, even if i do mistakes still, even if i am .... horribly bad at replying to the awesome people that message me-
there are, at least a few people, who enjoy, or even care, or heck, even think about what i draw and write, which is .. still mind boggling to me and i might never be able to truly believe its all real, there are people who are able to see beyond my flaws, forgive me if i do missstep or overreact, and just be aware that even with everything i share about me, there is lots you dont know that may inform why i feel a certain way about something, but thats okay, i am human, i am here, there are people who enjoy my brainworms, and perhaps even think i, as a person, am nice
i am so grateful for that
some things are good
#ganondoodles talks#random#tw suicide mention#again i realyl dont mean to try and bait for sympathy or sth#but some things do remind me of these awful things#and remind me also how far i got#even if it ultimately doesnt matter#it matters to me#and it might matter to you#and that it matters to you matters to me#thank you#i almost replied in a jokey way about this to the mutuals post in question#but then wondered if perhaps that would be a little much#but then i kept thinking about this#and well#its late again and it suddendly all came back#so i had to write a little#also fuck deviantart#no further context needed in these shitty times
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i cannot believe that since i posted the last chapter of my zhongli multichap (in july 2022) right
ive gotten engaged
ive gotten married
AND
ive gotten pregnant 🧍🏼♀️
specifically pregnant with identical twins 🧍🏼♀️🧍🏼♀️
#c shut up#i had a much sappier announcement planned but this is funnier#anyways this doesnt rly explain why ive been so MIA but im using it as an excuse#but truly ive just been in limbo when it comes to#hyperfixations and i have no writing motivation#and im not on my PC as much as i used to which is how i mostly enjoy going on tumblr#all to say is i do miss being on here as much but im doing ok!!#im just navigating a new part of my life being married in our house and now this so#its an adjustment period for me still#also i was going to wait another week or so to actually share this but i jusr ive been holding it in for 7 weeks actually and its been#torture LOLL#i have no plans on sharing publicly irl on like my irl socials but#i wanna share here <3#anyways new tags from me days later i was going to hesitate posting this again but today was a stinky day#and i want to share some happy news to cheer me up perhaps#idk if that makes sense i might also delete this post#eventually#but idk i just wanna share :(#no matter what happens this is going on right now and its worth celebrating!!#c’s baby tag
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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it is beyond infuriating how anne rice seems to insist on marius being a positive force in anyone's life ever. like she can't fully commit to exploring the fact he groomed armand and has repeatedly taken away his consent for what marius thinks is best (take the end of TVA as an example) and just kind of flatly puts it in the narrative. there's not really much interest in how these horrific events make marius come across as the worst because EVERYONE loves him. for gods sake, lestat learns from armand exactly what marius did to him in TVL and then proceeds to go find marius and be super friendly to him in the same fucking book. even armand and pandora, two of the people who have MORE than enough right to hate him, do not. it doesnt feel like shes trying to explore the toxicity of the abusive dynamic he traps them in, it just is there. and like yeah ofc the toxic vampire romance series but i think that this should be handled with more care. and it is not ever really framed in a way that she is interested in exploring how marius should easily be one of the most horrific characters in this series because it kind of feels like sa/rape/grooming/other things of that sort are just put there to further plot and not to really get the respect that they deserve in a medium.
#twist rambles#vc posting#grooming mention#for blocklist sorry im on my im really mad about this fucking series soapbox again#to be fucking honest she treats slavery similar. like its just THERE and the characters doing it dont really feel bad about it (much like m#rius doesnt seem to.. feel much if any remorse for arm.and) and it is just like... ok heres another bad thing with no examination. this isn#a super coherent post but i went a bit forward to see how b&g was handling the arm.and stuff and oh my god. oh im so mad. like i just... i#wish so badly that arma.nds abuse was taken seriously other than haha its sooo quirky that mari.us is in a position of power over him and#provides housing money sex comfort etc for him and is abusing him but hes sooo happy with himmmm. like he fucking sold him into sex slavery#and we are supposed to root for him#ask to tag#sorry this is just. its a very triggering part of the books but its something that i kind of keep returning to to mull over because it is#handled really badly. like i think she was trying to go for a lo.lita vibe (iirc she did actually mention nabok.ov as an inspiration) but#didnt really care enough to examine WHY that is an interesting take on the subject matter. not even to get into pan.doras stuff bc its just#really bad but at least he waited until she was an adult i suppose. like i will give anne one thing that she has characters and (poorly han#led) writing that makes you really think and analyze. which i think is where i enjoy media that is like... this kind of sucks at points but#u can tell the authors viewpoints soo transparently. and u can examine it thru this. like i think thats why i find the gr.ell run of GA int#resting too bc u can telll that man is a libertarian and doesnt respect women. and then claims to do so. its interesting to me. anyways#did u guys know she defended bill clin.ton when the monica stuff came out and victim blamed her. just a funny coincidence.#sorry for the really long tag rant but i am sooo fed up with how she treats this topic forever and ever. bc its been this way forever.#anyways back to reading had to get that out. lmk if u need me to tag this bc its a lot of tws :)
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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The hard thing about writing therapy sessions into fics is that like. The story is predicated on drama, and even in therapy characters are still people that may or may not be able to communicate, and then there's the fact that even when you're successful in therapy you still have to deal with relationships and life outside of that where your coping is actually put to the test
Like it's weird because "characters dialoguing in therapy speak" is a current day hated trope, but in this case the characters going to therapy (sometimes even with each other) is LITERALLY part of the plot. But then you don't want the therapy to just instantly solve every interpersonal conflict so the characters still need to beef over something. Which, fine, lots of people go to therapy and don't cooperate during the session, are unwilling to apply the advice IRL, other things happen due to the flawed nature of existence, etc.
What I'm trying to say is that at least in stories/worlds with no therapy, ppl being severely malfunctional and getting in deep shit makes sense bc there's no education or support or help for them to make the optimal choices. But in stories with therapy, you want the therapy to be an in-universe part of the world that characters react to as real people react in therapy. But you don't want the therapy to turn into a meta device that you as an author use to magic away a character's emotional/interpersonal problems effortlessly with disregard to how long/difficult therapy is.
I feel like this might be a genre issue, idk? There's just so few stories that involve therapy (many of which are biographical in nature and not fiction/narrative focused), maybe due to how mental health is only a recently destigmatized/educated topic. So this feels like a writing problem exclusive to some sort of contemporary, "just like the real world" genre of writing that I'm unfamiliar with and maybe the answer is just "yeah you have to write it as a fictional story but also like it's real life." Idk.
#squiggposting#i didnt have this much trouble with PUE's therapy sessions#it's not a question of 'how to accurately write therapy' so much as it is just#how to make therapy NOT a deus ex machina/asspull type thing to sidestep actual character interaction#in PUE i feel like i did a good job of that despite the fact that optronix had a heavy therapy focus on him#but that was also bc optronix refused to cooperate in therapy so him finally choosing to participate#was caused by exterior plot and character interaction#for the pharma fic i'm writing pharma is constantly in therapy that he participates in#both for his own reasons as well as being forced to by release conditions#so like the therapy has an effect and shapes how he views things but the therapy doesnt fix him#idk i know firsthand that going to therapy doesnt fix you like that + implementing techniques#outside of therapy in the real world is really hard. so idk#probably im only worried about this bc the therapy is the main part i have outlined#once i have more plot then it should be a simple matter to incorporate the therapy sessions as like#things pharma does to deal w his problems but they both help and dont help#+ he has other things going on that actively impede him effectively implementing them#idk sorry for the dumb ramble
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not to bring this up AGAIN but i cant believe they did that to ilsa
#watching fallout and im trying to pretend mi7 doesnt exist but 😬😬😬😬#literally how do you ruin a character that badly#shes my fav mi character and one of my favourite female characters in general cause shes written so well#and then that happened 🙄#obviously mcq doesn’t deserve the hate he got for it but also i hope he knows what he did was shitty#it doesnt make sense story wise#its a horrible ending for her character#and its even worse if she comes back in the next movie thats awful writing no matter what#AND he just replaced her with some generic female character who had to be saved countless times throughout the movie 😐#not to mention the way he and tom talked about ilsa and how much work they put into her character in rogue nation and fallout#I DONT GET IT WHY THROW THAT ALL AWAY#im so upset#mi#ilsa faust
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Sometimes venturing onto the For You side of Twitter sparks joy.
Based take. Shoujo and Josei are fucking top notch, both in characters and art style (how can you not think they’re beautiful?)
“Ruined the JJK and MHA fandoms” is WILD. I avoid fandoms for the most part (except perusing tumblr for the occasional fucking thesis women write about character motivations i love you women <3) because they usually suck. Seriously, I kept up with OPM for a bit because it was entertaining but holy shit the subreddit (very much full of men) is literally just… sexy woman. More sexy woman. Memes about artist constantly drawing sexy woman. Memes. Occasional power scaling arguments. Low quality page colorings of the exact same page. There is NOTHING. How the hell can women ruin the fandom when the fandom IS the women?!
It’s the women creating in depth analyses on characters; it’s the women writing fanfiction, creating doujinshis; it’s the women creating fandom centered accounts; it’s the women buying every new merch piece that comes out AND giving free advertising by posting about it online. And then men will go on and rag on women for doing all these things. It’s infuriating.
Longevity of a series is also something these idiots ignore. Seriously, look at Katekyo Hitman Reborn. The manga ended in 2012 and the creator is working on a different series. Katekyo Hitman Reborn still gets regular merch releases. This is a series that ended over a decade ago and still has an incredibly dedicated fanbase of, I wonder who, that regularly spends enough money to keep it consistent. You cannot look me in the eyes and tell me that series is supported mainly by men. I do not care how hard Amano Akira tried to alienate her female fans with her treatment of the female characters you know exactly whos spending the money based on who is constantly getting merch (minus the titular character, because of course he has to be there.)
Honestly I don’t give a damn that fandom can often be absolute insanity; you get a group of people together and it’s always going to be a shitshow, that isn’t unique to fandom, people just like to pretend it is because as always, there’s an undercurrent of misogyny because people know women carry that shit but they only want to acknowledge it when they can use it to criticize them.
I love that she came for the JJK fandom as well. I’ve been following the series because honestly it is really fucking funny because it is the epitome of shounen tropes. The author literally baked them into the world. Explaining your abilities to the opponent makes them stronger. So this entire series you get giant pages of just white with text explaining every little fucking thing like theres a narrator standing over your shoulder making sure you can’t possibly miss anything on the first read. Fuck dude, I don’t mind exorbitant amounts of text in my manga, but you cannot be serious in pretending that is good writing. There’s a deus ex machina that every character can pull out of their ass called a binding vow. Black flash also falls into this category.
Hell, the latest arc has literally just been flashback after flashback playing during the battle of the characters forming a bunch of plans in preparation for the fight we currently are following. This is genuinely one of my most hated tropes. The characters just get off screen power ups that then get handwaved as “well we showed you the flashback right?” there is NO anticipation, any excitement you feel for the battle is purely manufactured rather than genuine. It’s not “I can’t wait to see how the growth I followed of these characters affects the battle” it’s “wow, what cool ability will they pull out of their ass next?” I hate it I loathe it and it’s even worse with emotional moments. Why couldn’t you write this into the story in the first place? Why are you giving it to me in a shitty flashback?
Maybe I didn’t explain it well enough because I launched into a rant. The reason I hated it so much is because it forced the reader to be an observer rather than an active participant in the manga. Everything is spoonfed to you. You don’t need to reread the chapters over and over to put together the pieces on how, where, and why each action took place, the author does that for you. You don’t see everything from a new perspective when you read it a second time, catching lots of things you may have missed because you’re not allowed to miss anything the author deems important.
I enjoy this manga. There is good things about it. But it is nowhere near the god manga (“kamige” would be the term if it was a visual novel; I don’t know a manga equivalent) men like to pretend it is. It genuinely seems like they think everything being explained every page is good writing.
Based and succinct.
Anyway, you shouldn’t restrict yourself from experiencing specific genres because they’re for “the lessers” because that’s actually fucking cringe and maybe you should touch a Josei manga, or even a Shoujo manga. Maybe it’ll open your eyes and you’ll realize, hey, women’s media is actually- oh who the fuck am I kidding just pull the trigger.
#taking the bait and getting mad about things that dont matter dot rtf#i would genuinely love to write actual well thought out well written and well researched essays on the shit im into#but going on barely edited rants is easier and gives me those feel good chemicals faster#i started this with twitter sparking joy then proceeded to go on a rant about how much hate fills my heart#i hope my ranting is at least somewhat coherent because my thought process is incredibly scattered right now#i also rant about JJKs writing because i was going to do that one of these days anyway but i read my sleeper activation phrase in a tweet#basically im mad at how much men ignore womens contributions to the series they claim to enjoy#no evidence is ever good enough for them either#you have a japanese study showing the sex division for a popular series has an even 50:50 split?#it doesnt fit the exact parameters that i believe it should! (angry mention about ‘the gays’ when they werent even brought up)#also yeah im sure when theres an even amount of both women and men watching something ONLY the men actually contribute right#ask me about my opinions i dont bite ;^)#also i need a nap because i have been awake far too long hello insomnia#was about to go to sleep then i was provoked and had to fight (opened twitter and then rant on a blog out in nowhere)#goodnight (its noon)
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it’s probably a sign that one of the things i do while half asleep in bed is tinker with phrasings for how i want to explain the massive canon divergencies i have planned for rhaen.yra and dae.mon…
#pay no attention to the man behind the curtain / ooc.#rhae’s first 3 sons are trueborn bc i think it’s interesting to explore the kinda doomed nature of her position.#I write her as much more politically savvy but in a way it doesn’t matter bc westeros doesnt know how genetics work#So the boys are white passing and basically get their looks from rhaenys but ppl like otto dont care about that#The boys dont look as ppl think they should so they must be bastards. And how can she contest it? There’s no paternity tests#And daemon has 3 bastards with a targ cousin oc before he ever even marries laena#I am building a lore that is so impenetrable—#It’s the elryses all over again but it’s sometimes you do things just for you lol
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HE APOLOGIZED TO HER.... FOR EVERYTHING....!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 And Naruto just looking on, so happy that his team is Finally back together.... he FINALLY fulfilled his promise to her, all that time ago........
Waaaaaaaaaa 😭😭😭😭😭
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#i cannot TELL u how happy i am that he apologized to her.#like i know it's the constant joke that sasuke is not beating the gay allegations with how hes Always disregarded her#but. ultimately. they DID have a friendship. it wasnt all her crushing on him & seeing a bond where there wasnt one.#kishimoto's writing is so inherently misogynistic that sakura has been shelved more often than not.#but they did. they Did have a bond. so sasuke's treatment of her truly was unfair.#so the fact that he's here... *finally* apologizing to her...#hes got a lot to make up for. but it's a first step. and an important one.#i still think the romance between them is under-developed and just doesnt make sense#but. their friendship. that does matter to me. it does.#so im just. so happy to see this. it matters so much to me.
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dysgraphic artiƨts risɘ UP!!!!!
#raise your pencils!!!! and erasers. to fix the backwards letters 😔#sorry still thinking about my weirdness with my art professors. yknow a lot of em have been really pushing us as#students to make our personal identities a major part of like our 'brand' as artists#which. well from an art history major perspective thats a very contentious and nuanced topic. i love a lot of artists who live this way#and i think its great seeing my peers who focus on identity thrive. but also as an fine arts major (double major fool LOL)#i keep getting pushed by teachers into like. specific '____ artist' identities???#specificaly woman artist. which is a little bizarre because im a bit fat and a bit gnc so im generally like. ungendered? in day-to-day life#(which doesnt actually matter to me directly that much honestly LOL people tend to view me as like. buddy? buddy or pal.)#(not man. not woman. not anything human. sometimes i remind people of a beloved dog. which. hkdsahjk thats its own can of worms)#(a can of worms that also doesnt matter much to me directly because im a wannabe furry who chose to be the dog when playing house as a kid)#(LOL so um. well. theres that) but yeah i dunno i dont really consider myself a woman artist. its been. shockingly (and sometimes luckily?)#irrelevant to most of my life and experiences and art (although dont get me wrong misogyny is very real and very present) so i dont#have a whole lot to say about it from an art perspective. you could also call me all kinds of things. a queer artist. a mixed race artist#again technically correct. some aspects more visible in my work than others. but also very technical. i focus on race a lot in in my#art historical work but i dunno how much my drawings have to say. except that i keep making too many mixed ocs LOL#i dunno i just think my professors gotta focus that energy away from tokenizing me and over to supporting like actual#capital W Woman artists capital Q Queer artists capital A Artists of Colour who are doing far more interesting things than I#far more thought out and engaged in these topics directly. i just kind of stumble into my art blindly and confused <3#sorry that was a long tangent WHAT IM SAYING Is despite all that: i do consider myself a capital D Dysgraphic artist#i think its an unmovable constant of my art and the way i draw and the way my hands move. the untrained eye doesnt seem to be as aware#of it directly. but those who are familiar can probably see it. the dysgraphia LOL if not just from whenever i write a letter or number#half of them are busted and frantically fixed HDKJSDJDS but its in all my art. if u can see it <3 ive been trying to embrace it#dygraphic artists raise your pencils indeed!! and throw away the eraser!!! make the legibility of your words everyone elses problem!!!#what does that say? what is that sketch? none of my business! none of your business!! its the business of my hand and the pencil alone#motor skill and spatial issues take the wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel
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