#it doesn’t sit right w me
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I have some thoughts about the arcane ending w nowhere to go but uh, if ur not here for some critique keep it pushing loll
Now that I’ve had a day to digest I’m actually v disappointed w the way the story gave up on its revolutionary messaging. The focus of season one is the piltover and zaun plot, the oppression of Zaun and its impacts on the characters, it is how vi and powder are orphaned, it’s why viktor is disabled, it is why the undercity struggles, Zauns independence is what silco was fighting for, vander and silcos ideological disagreements are based on it etc etc. the tensions between the two cities is rising and rising and then it just, fizzles out and pivots and makes viktor the main antagonist without any recognition of how he got here. And don’t get me started on how there’s zero consequences for cait who is?? Still an enforcer??
The plot highlights through Vi that the enforcers are an oppressive arm of a system w how she was treated as a CHILD and even as an adult and she betrays her ideals, to do what she thinks is right bc she thinks she has to take out her sister and bc cait asked her to do so as an enforcer. And then in doing so she betrays her ideals so aggressively that she is now the exact thing that hurt her, an enforcer, traumatizing a child, utilizing the gas on the undercity, excusing the consequences. And when she faces Caitlyn, cait obfuscates and says she wouldn’t have missed even tho that’s not *better*. Bc ok let’s say she didn’t miss, she just kills jinx in front of isha? and she just gassed the city w what we know is toxic gas? And then she discards vi bc vi isn’t going along with what she wants. Cait then is never shown reckoning w the biases and cruel things she’s done and said after that. There is ONE conversation w her and Vi and it’s framed as Ambessa is the issue which, she is partially but like, topside enforcers were all behind her and Cait was quick to lean into all her preconceived notions of zaunites. (Speaking of making what’s her name a mole was stupid and imo done just to make it so Cait doesn’t have to have that convo w her?? Idk)
Also, Vi goes on a drinking spree in which we never actually see her reckon w what she did as an enforcer, (it’s mostly framed around Cait) and then she hurts isha and,,, nothing?? No sorry?? Nothing. Vi has no plot that shows us her thoughts, her reckoning w what she did, or anything. In my opinion it’s bc the writers wanted cait/vi to work and if Vi actually had to think about what happened and what she did then they wouldn’t have worked out. Vi w/ no one to protect who has to rebuild her identity and really decide how she ended up where she did, I would have loved to see it. Her and Jinx’s convo where she says u don’t need me to protect u was actually rlly good, them reconnecting as equals & Vi seeing how jinx became a symbol of the undercity, fighting for it together, finding how she lost her way, like, cmon. Jinx not ending her story w yea actually u should die previously suicidal character, (don’t worry, this is a good way to die) and instead doing the hard work of rebuilding, and seeing a future for herself that isn’t painted in tragedy, surrounding herself w ppl who love her and help her grow (while silco loved her he could not help her grow bc of his own unhealed wounds) using her ingenuity to rebuild w ekko, like, ugh. These are very rough thoughts that got kinda, long, but yea in conclusion, while I loved the characters, the refusal to *commit* to the political message they started hurt the show a lot, and I’m rlly sad for what could have been.
I have a lot more thoughts about sevika and Mel as well but I’m mostly just bummed.
#arcane critical#anti caitvi#did I sob when vi and jinx and [redacted] were together#yes#that doesn’t mean I wasn’t left incredibly saddened#by what plot they chose to go for#absolutely not#and I know they really heavily implied things ab jinx not being gone#it doesn’t sit right w me
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i don’t know if these needs to be said but calling Dany’s slaver’s bay arc orientalist is not a criticism of Dany herself. it is a criticism of GRRM, the white westerner writing it. Dany is not responsible for the orientalist tropes that arise here, any more than say, Lyanna Stark et al are responsible for the disproportionate number of childbirth deaths in the series.
and I am aware that the people of slaver’s bay are of many different races, including white! GRRM has said that many times over. but the thing is that orientalism is not so much about race as it is the east vs the west. so whilst the racial dynamics here may be more ambiguous the juxtaposition of the east and the west is not. it’s in the names of the continents: Westeros, Essos. one is made up of familiar western fantasy and medieval tropes, the other is, well, other, and made up of a range of orientalist tropes. it’s in the food, the clothes, the sex, the accents, the religion, the everything. it is there. we have to reckon with that.
and if people are somehow blaming the presence of these tropes on Daenerys herself, that’s very much on them. it is extremely reductive to use these critiques as your pedestal in a stan war. it only shows that you do not even understand the argument at stake here. but if we refuse to acknowledge the orientalism in the story for the sake of defending a white character: that is also extremely reductive.
#idk I have seen some stuff going around on this and it doesn’t sit right w me#this conversation should not and cannot be an asoiaf stan war#this is not about Daenerys Targaryen#this is about GRRM
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Cant stop thinking abt Marcia. about the wake and the funeral, how gross everyone treated her from start to bitter end. And she went out of her way to be kind to shiv in her very last scene, and while she is so WOW for taking the high road…..that would NOT have been me.
But I guess that hurt shiv the most lmao. she was fully braced for some cutting remark and Marcia doesn’t give it to her. Cuz Marcia is done. Shiv cannot comprehend why she chooses to be gentle and empathetic for once because she is so full of resentment and she assumes Marcia is the same. She expects Marcia to be an enemy, it’s easy. It’s something that’s safe and it’s that mentality her own father leans into to provide false loyalty in the episode vaulter. But Marcia only sees her as a broken sad child forever chasing a man whose approval was on a whim. She isn’t even worth contempt. And shiv doesn’t know if she should be angry sad or confused.
#Marcia the woman you are#she isn’t perfect but when ppl act like she was crazy for being hostile to shiv I’m blowing you up#shiv irreversibly and illegally violated her privacy and personhood by episode 3 it was never gonna be good between them#Mfw when hatecriming ur step mom kinda causes a rift lmao#and YET#she sees how broken shiv is and she reaches out in the end#Marcia being called cold blooded will never sit right w me#she is survivor sure#ruthless sure#but she has more empathy in her pinky than any roy has in every cell in their body combined#it’s so gross when ppl demand this endless grace from Marcia for a woman who literally wouldn’t care if she dropped dead tomorrow#go to actual hell#‘‘actually shiv had every right to be suspisocous’’ no she didn’t the narrative quite literally constantly insists she doesn’t
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But see… I really do think that hunters recognizing the signs of psychological “overkilling” is important!
In this genre, it serves as shorthand for instability in the field. Mary recognizing this in Jack… indicated he was psychologically unfit to fight.
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Overkilling shows up in various characters.
Cas mentions this when assessing Lucifer’s kills in season 12:
Sam and Castiel are in the library at the bunker. Castiel is looking at pictures of the carnage at the archbishop’s house on a cell phone, zooming in and out)
CASTIEL: Ugh. These pictures...The level of violence, it's completely unnecessary.
SAM: Lucifer doesn't like to get messed with.
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And of course, his own hypocrisy aside, Sam is hypervigilant for assessing this in MOC!Dean. (And all things considered, Sam and Cas aren’t exactly incorrect in their assessment. The issues became more about Dean’s blackouts and lack of control, rather than the immorality of his targets.)
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Killing is killing, but in this genre, the signature yields vital information.
Jack’s signature was unstable, and Mary correctly recognized this.
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I can think of good examples for Dean and Cas too, becoming disorganized psychologically, particularly towards the terminal ends of the Mark and Godstiel arcs.
But even soulless, Sam tends towards frighteningly cold and efficient.
Sam with Jake Talley, maybe?
There’s also Dean with the Adam and Kate wraiths. That sticks out in my head.
It comes in lighter flavors, too, like when Claire was not being able to stop kicking her assailant. The fear took over.
Something I want to pay more attention to… just thinking aloud.
EDIT: I think blood-addicted Sam was the closest to disorganized and overkill on the regular, like… as he became ruled by the blood addiction, season 15 shows us a Sam terminating with a demon-Dean-style of arc, a demon Sam with black eyes who kills Jody and Bobby.
SAM: You know, I knew you’d come looking for me. After Sioux Falls… I suppose you had to.
DEAN: What you did to them… what you did to Bobby… to Jody…
SAM: They tried to stop me. But I will not be stopped.
DEAN: Sammy, listen to me. This is the demon blood. You have to fight it!
SAM: Why would I do that?
[The bald man from earlier approaches behind SAM. SAM turns his head slightly and the man’s neck snaps as he falls to the ground. SAM looks back at DEAN with an evil smile.]
DEAN: Sammy, please. Please.
[SAM smirks. His eyes flash to black. He cocks his head to the side. Dean’s neck snaps as he falls to the ground. He’s dead.]
#i’m using the term loosely here is pseudo forensic psychology#jack#mary and jack#but anyways to sweep under the rug as murder is murder doesn’t sit right w me#esp in the world of story meta world#it matters
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Looks like that video is about a month & a half after The Trade and trevors broken ankle 😣
re: this video… anon 😭 i had suspicions but it is so much worse to have them confirmed that really was like. trevor’s first Public Appearance without jamie AND post-broken ankle which is traumatic in and of itself no wonder every beat reporter was like ‘oh yeah trevor’s just devastated’
wouldn’t you be miserable too if your best friend just got traded and your body betrayed you and what if it was maybe all your fault!!!
#bestie thank you so much for fact-checking me 🙏🙏🥰🥰 i love when y’all come in my inbox & answer the questions i yell into the void of my tag#we are Suffering about trevor TOGETHER in this house. if i scrolled all the way to the bottom of my drafts i think i could find even more#heartbreaking content from before The Trade but we don’t need to suffer that much otherwise the penguin cup of tea is really irish coffee#confirms ALL of my theories about miserable trevor leaning into mason for comfort because in some universes that’s THEIR boyfriend who left#liv in the replies#trevor zegras#mason mctavish#need to go lay on the floor about this one folks. do you think trevor said he would only do it if mason came if he could sit next to mason#right at the end where people were rushing out not stopping to talk tired by the end of the line and not even thinking just to guarantee he#wouldn’t get asked anything because he still has a hard time believing it’s real he keeps thinking jamie’ll be there especially w/his ankle#i’m sure he doesn’t have a great time with stairs so he probably will nap on the couch sometimes and that moment right when he first wakes#up to the bang of the door and he doesn’t quite know he’s awake yet and he thinks it’s jamie coming in? heartbreaker right there bud. sorry#ALSO because I can’t say it and leave it alone I almost put that last bit strictly in the tags but like. there’s gotta be some part of#trevor that knows it’s nothing to do with him but still naïvely believes that if he’d maybe been there if he hadn’t been injured things#could have worked out differently if he’d been there and it’s his fault his ankle broke and do you remember all the interviews jamie gave#about how you never think you’ll be traded and how strange it is to be moving and now i need you to take that naïveté times 1000 for trevor#who of course he never even pictures jamie leaving they were building the core together!!! why would they ever get rid of him!! and if only#trevor had been there to show how important jamie was. what would he have done? literally nothing but that does not stop the emotional guil#from enveloping trevor like a rain cloud and making him sit in mason’s apartment with ice cream bowl in hand. holistic treatment l
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Sometimes I worry my sister is getting a bit too close to some terf rhetoric
#not anything about trans ppl but just a lot of ‘men suck men are the worst’ shit that feels like it leans into the ‘men are inherently Bad’#idea yknow#and she once said ‘I’d rather you be a man than a furry’ to me to emphasize how much she hates furries#which is a whole other thing I’m not happy with#plus she’s been misgendering me more often but it COULD be a mistake#it’s just weird bc she always teases/makes fun of me for my weird speech patterns and inability to speak#so the fact she’s misspeaking so frequently over THUS SPECIFIC THING uh. doesn’t sit right w me#and she constantly teases me about my memory issues and will make comments like ‘oh it’s not like you’ll remember’#and ‘parents asked me to do [task] because they know you’ll forget’#oops this has become venting all my gripes with my sister time#aegis talks to the void#vent
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i HATE summer because it’s HOT but ALSO because on the rare days when it is COLD i’m not ACCLIMATED TO IT so it is SHOCKING and it HURTS .
#i have been awake for AN HOUR and and and I’M STILL STUCK IN BED BECAUSE IT’S FREEZING AND MY BODY DOESN’T LIKE THAT.#in the winter i can sit directly in front of the heater bc it helps but NOOOOO not right now#because it’s hot some days and it would be stupid to turn on the heater in SUMMER#but i am in so much PAIN.#i love the cold but only when i’m expecting it and can deal w it#me when the heat aggravates one issue but the cold aggravates another#i’m killing mheelf
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genuine question did they ever actually explain why half elves are just human.
#was it really just for the alistair twist help?#always disliked the rule tbf something abt it doesn’t sit right w me
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hung out w my best friend after moooooooonths and i was in such a good mood but now my mom tells me that we have people coming over????
#NORMALLY i’d be saying hi and going to my room but their daughter.. a little older than me… she talks to me the whole time and i don’t want#her to sit in my bed w outside clothes and i already have to make my bed and clean my phone and ipad and glasses x 2 every day when i get#home or it doesn’t feel right if i don’t i feel like im going crazy and it’s skspegekehekbslxvrldvd#i did better than i had expected in school today in the class that i didn’t attend half the time so i was kind of already on that high plus#i met my best friend today too and i missed her and it was soooo fun but NOW im tired and i wanna get my ocd ritual over w but i can’t do it#w her near me because 1. she’s a stranger 2. i have mentally count everything 3. outside clothes are a huge thing in my head#BUT it probably seems like a bigger deal than it actually is so it’s all good#mehak.exe
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random but is anyone else into yosurise but in a doomed kind of way. like kind of one sided. like a yosuke is into rise in a puppydog kind of way and rise keeps trying to find a relationship but can’t and finally decides to give yosuke a try because at least he’s a friend and she knows he won’t try to take advantage of her being an idol etc. And yosuke is ECSTATIC and wants to give her the world but in an unsustainable kind of way, a desperate “i don’t deserve her but she’s giving me a chance and i need to do anything i can to keep her happy” kind of way. And rise is so flattered and like yosuke is nice but she can’t match that dedication, no one can or should, but it’s all so one sided and she feels so guilty about that but she doesn’t want to break his heart or be “mean”. all while yosuke is becoming almost self destructive by trying to give her “what she deserves” but it’s an unhealthy level of dedication and it’s honestly hurting both of them
#rambles#p4#not tagging this w the ship lol#before anyone even tries anything neither of them are ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ in this scenario#just a case of two people who aren’t compatible w each other making a relationship unhealthy#like yosuke lacking in self confidence and thinking he isn’t good enough#and rise trying to be into yosuke as much as he’s into her but you can’t force that!#and also it can be soooo uncomfortable when someone is way more into you than you are into them#in this scenario she doesn’t break up w him bc I mean he’s being so nice. so she’s wondering what’s ‘wrong’ w her#that she doesn’t feel the same way back and can’t force herself to develop those feelings…#btw bc i hate myself this would probably come after rise can’t get over souji no matter what she does or who else she tries to date#she’s a pretty girl so I imagine she would just keep encountering douchebags#and so she decides to give it a try w yosuke bc he’s seen the Real her and still likes her right??#meanwhile because it’s me ofc it’s because souji has feelings for yosuke but can’t bear the thought of ruining their friendship#and so instead he sits off to the side watching his friends drag each other down in a relationship that’s bad for both of them#THIS IS SO MUCH SORRY ITS SLOW AT WORK
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I miss their chin so much already ;—;
#owen talks#I took their shoes off bc they are not going to bed w armored heels on#they look kinda haunted but I know it’s bc of the crunchy lodestone images#I think I’ll boot up benchmark later and rotate them for exposure therapy#and ngl if I’m really unhappy about the changes there’s someone making pre-DT packs of the faces#so I could just. have them have a sculpt#I’m still praying that it’s not as bad as it looks#yes I have fussed w features#tragically the jaw shape doesn’t change the chin shape#and I can’t change to any of the other faces bc they are not the eyrie vibe#face 1 is closer w the chin and I did mess around with it#but eveything else doesn’t feel right#I’m not like. screaming upset about it#as best it makes eyrie look very young which. is a meh vibe to me#they are 150 they are not going to look 25 right up until they die#they need some age!! some wrinkle!!#maybr I’ll find someone to fuss w their stiuf#at least so I can have their freckles + facial scars + light scars on their face#but that is a long ways off and I will sit w vanilla#they just got a really really nice nap#which like. wouldn’t be unheard of for them#they go on a week long vacation on their island and sleep for like. 4 days
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what they don’t tell you abt sleeping in the same bed as your husband is that he wants the fan on full blast bc he runs about 10f warmer than everybody else meanwhile you have the constitution and cold tolerance of a desert lizard.
#tbf it's hot as shit in the daytime so i do enjoy the fan then#and it doesn’t bother me usually bc i’m curled up in blankets#but rn i habe to sit up bc Sinus Closed so i am getting the full fan blast. and freezing.#the Mage rambles#btw i am NOT complaining abt him bc he used to sleep w literal ice packs on#and again when i’m not sick i’m totally fine with it#it's just right NOW
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I feel like you'd love the hrh collection subreddits they're so fun
I’ve never looked on there I’ve only seen the forum posts abt her on like the gossip bakery n gurugossip and I never fucked w that stuff bc literally 95% of it is just as obsessive and disturbing and meanspirited as she herself is like that kinda thing cannot be good for the soul
#not defending her but at a certain point it’s like . u guys are just enjoying being hateful just like she does!#all the bodyshaming and picking apart every single detail of her personality just doesn’t sit right w me#like yeah criticize her for being a bigot and a menace but none of that other shit is necessarily her fault u just want someone to victimize#without feeling bad#and I dont like that😭😭😭#idk if the subreddit is the same tho skdnskfksm
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What do you think of the headcannon of striker being aroace?
Don’t like ittt Idk I don’t like the Helluva Boss fandom’s tendency to slap an aro headcanon onto all the antagonists (Like they put one on Stella? That’s weird to me)
I considered the ace headcanon but that’s just not my thing idk. I’m fine with that bc he gets caught off guard by things the others say to him but like. Again it’s just grossed out by sex≠asexual and look at the statue he has of himself
All in all idc what ppl headcanon and I’m cool with whatever but it’s not my thing he’s not aroace to me
#also I ship him around a lot so. eh.#like he might be aspec to me idk but he’s not arospec to me#tzu asks#no hate to ppl w this hc but it just doesn’t sit right for me#unless ur also aroace do ur own thing ^^ /gen
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so twomad died while I do not think he is a good person nor I do think he should be celebrated that’s honestly kind of a scary death to me. scary because as a black person w mental health issues and issues w social media, i often worry about spiraling and things like that. like a bit of giz lore but back when i was active on edeetwt (which is why i have pr04n4 content blocked teehee) I was only on Twitter for abt 4 months yet i had over 3-4K tweets. I was a severely lonely, insecure and isolated kid (since i was 15-6 then) and i fell into the rabbit hole of social media bc it was the closest thing i had to genuine human connection. and it made everything so much fucking worse. even though i (can confidently say) have grown from this, there are still echoes of the kind of person i used to be in my life. i still find myself being addicted to social media (though I try to take breaks and once did a one month stint off tiktok!!). i still find it hard to communicate and interact with people bc those feelings from that time are still in the back of y mind.
now PLEASE don’t get me wrong, I have never harassed, assaulted or threatened anyone, or done anything twomad has. Worst thing ive ever done in that era was like purge, and listen to yagami yato unironically. but what scares me is that i COULD spiral like that. I COULD become the kind of person that repeatedly hurts others and finds no fault within themselves. I COULD literally die and no one would give two shits about it until my corpse started inconveniencing them because I wasted my life being an awful irredeemable human being. And that’s literally my worst fear.
but honestly thank god that I’ve got loving family and friends who see me and care abt me. Thank god I can actually give enough of a shit abt myself to realize when I’m hurting myself. Thank god I’ve got my life of art and fashion and culture and learning and the world at large to keep me going. Thank god that I don’t want to leave this planet knowing that I didn’t do anything to help anyone in need.
#giz rants#I still flop sometimes but I imagine I always will so I don’t care as much#this has been something sitting w me that I’ve been wanting to get off my chest#and btw if u find urself stuck on the internet and alone and upset there IS a way out#you CAN get better#you may not be ready to grow just right now (as w me) but inshallah it wil come to you#or you’ll come to it#maybe one day it just snaps together and the sun is a little warmer than usual and you can take your first step#and it doesn’t have to be big#maybe just an hour a day/week#maybe a light walk outside#point is you have value you are important you are not disgusting you can change you make yourself pure if you want#Water must be clean before you drink it and you can be clean#🧽
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working in a school is great and i love it but when something goes wrong and it affects a kid. ohh the agony
#p#like in my current role i don’t have very frequent contact w them and i try hard to get to know them#and their circumstances#but when those things don’t get communicated to me and i get upset kids and parents coming to me#i feel sooo bad 😭😭😭😭#esp since senior management made changes to like attendance and engagement policies#and didn’t actually tell students or parents?! id be upset too if i’m facing repercussions for things i didn’t know i was doing wrong !!#idek its not even my job to get to know the students personally i have an admin role i just track and monitor shit#but it doesn’t sit right w me#like yea we have policies but why shouldnt we make allowances for kids who’d benefit from them#eurgh i’m at the bottom of the food chain i’m not rly supposed to have Opinions abt how we do things but well <3#i like these kids they’re already struggling i’m not gonna make more problems for them if i can help it
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