#like he might be aspec to me idk but he’s not arospec to me

[hearts401]

What do you think of the headcannon of striker being aroace?

Don’t like ittt Idk I don’t like the Helluva Boss fandom’s tendency to slap an aro headcanon onto all the antagonists (Like they put one on Stella? That’s weird to me)

I considered the ace headcanon but that’s just not my thing idk. I’m fine with that bc he gets caught off guard by things the others say to him but like. Again it’s just grossed out by sex≠asexual and look at the statue he has of himself

All in all idc what ppl headcanon and I’m cool with whatever but it’s not my thing he’s not aroace to me

[someonehasgiventheratsapen]

Okay, I probably should've made this awhile ago, but I forgot,,,

So anyways, welcome to my blog!!

Uuuh call me the Rats for now, I might update that later.

I post mainly fanart, sometimes original art. I'm a traditional artist. I'm in a lot of fandoms right now and I draw for a buncha different stuff, but I mainly draw bungo stray dogs fanart (I'm kinda hyperfixated on soukoku rn).

(I do more serious drawings too, but these ones bring me joy so I thought I'd add them :] )

Uuh some stuff about me. I'm 17. I'm autistic, trans (they/he pronouns), and queer (might be aspec or arospec but idk, I got a lot going on).

I do draw some stuff that might be triggering for some people but I always tag anything I think might need a trigger warning. Please message me if I forget something. I don't really post anything NSFW.

Oh, I'm also working on writing a book rn, so I might occasionally post stuff about that.

Alt acc is @fivemillionrats

(Edit) my sister's tumblr is @celestebeepy. She's also on YouTube with (I think?) The same name, she does like makeup videos and stuff

(Edit 2) ok her YouTube is also celestebeepy

(I'll probably edit this more later bc I'm definitely forgetting some stuff)

Thank you for reading!! :D

[beanghostprincess]

well since you asked so nicely, what are all your straw hats sexuality (and gender identity?) headcanons :D

ps you dont have to explain them all if it's too much for you ^^

I love you so much for this mwah mwah /p I love when people send me asks like this <33

: ̗̀➛ [Luffy] Sexuality: Aspec. I'm very, very specific with this so I would have to write a whole paragraph to explain it well, but I'll try to do it in fewer words. I used to headcanon Luffy as asexual but the demi-sexual headcanon is growing on me. Only sexual with Zoro, though. Like- I ship Luffy with more people but imo he only feels sexually attracted to Zoro. Something something 'the bond between a captain and his first mate'. Romantic attraction: I can see him being demi-romantic (once again only romantic with Zoro. Or Sanji, even) but I personally see their relationship very Aroaspec QPR. Aromantic and Demi-sexual with a very deep bond with his first mate and his cook. Gender: Transmasc. Demi-boy. He/They. I think he, like, resonates more with being a boy but still doesn't fit the binary enough to be one. And transmasc because. Well. Have you seen him?

: ̗̀➛ [Zoro] Sexuality: Homosexual. Gay. The gayest man you've ever seen. I think he's demi-sexual too in the sense that only Luffy or Sanji would make him go insane and aroused, but he would sleep with other men just because. Like fr, just because he can. Idk. Homosexual behavior everywhere. He's so fucking gay. If there was a gay contest between OP characters he would probably win or end up in a tie with Nami, Law, and Kid. Romantic attraction: Demi-romantic. This dude is obsessed with his captain only. First mate things. I seriously believe that being a first mate makes you inherently unable to fall in love with somebody else. Well, perhaps Sanji too, but I'm not that much of a Zosan so I don't think about how they would work. And still, he'd be Demiro anyway. Gender: Transmasc guy because, once again, have you seen him? Dude even has a scar on his chest. Man tits. Love him. He/Him.

: ̗̀➛ [Nami] Sexuality: Graysexual Lesbian. Some might argue with me on this because she has a different girlfriend every arc, but I honestly think that she only feels genuine sexual attraction sometimes and it's not often. Playfully flirting doesn't equal genuine sexual attraction. Romantic attraction: Grayromantic Lesbian. Because, once again, people might not agree with me, but I think she doesn't have crushes often and she falls into more of a romantic gray area. Never with men, though. God forbid. Never with men. That much is clear, I hope. Gender: Demi-girl. She/They. My babygirl. My girlboss. Like I said with Luffy, I think she embraces being a girl but still doesn't fall into that term exactly and doesn't mind They/Them or more androgynous looks/terms at all. In fact, she loves them.

: ̗̀➛ [Usopp] Sexuality: Bisexual. I love him. He be pulling blonde bitches everywhere and by blonde bitches I mean Kaya and Sanji. Something that always makes me and my BFF laugh is the fact that he's canonically very normal about women's bodies, unlike Brook or Sanji or even Franky. Like, he's pretty decent and respectful and he's, well, a normal human being. I appreciate the bare minimum when half of the characters are perverts sometimes. Romantic attraction: Birromantic. Pretty much the same thing I just said. Simple guy. So true, king. Although I like the Demi-romantic headcanon and I think he doesn't really get love at first sight and would be bothered by Sanji's view on this. I think Usopp is somebody who needs intimacy to develop a romantic crush on someone. So, yeah, I also like the demi-romantic thing but this could be just me trying to make everyone Arospec for no reason other than projecting. Gender: Non-binary. He/They but prefers They/Them, he just doesn't expect people to use those pronouns, and it isn't that big of a deal. Also transmasc. I'm obsessed with that, honestly. However, I think he wouldn't use the term Non-binary? I think he'd just use Unlabeled, perhaps.

: ̗̀➛ [Sanji] Sexuality: Bisexual with a high preference for girls. For obvious reasons. Romantic attraction: Birromantic too. He's a hopeless romantic. Believes in love at first sight and everything. Gender: Transfem. Genderfluid. Any pronouns. I love you, Sanji. You're real to me. And I'm not explaining my reasons for these headcanons because watching the show is enough for you to understand this, but between his trauma and Momoiro Island... Like... I know what you are, girly pop. The closet is glass and the egg is hatching and you need to come out. Oda, please, let her ou-

: ̗̀➛ [Chopper] This one's just, like, Chopper. Chopper is Chopper. I don't think about this much. He canonically likes female reindeer. I have nothing else to say. Gender? Little guy. Sexuality? Honestly, if somebody gives him a reindeer boyfriend I support that. So bisexual and birromantic, I guess. I don't know how it works for him. I don't think he cares. It's not that he's too young because he's canonically a teenager already, I just don't think they've encountered enough reindeer for me to form an opinion on this. Why the hell am I writing so much to say something so fucking stupid. I'm sorry. Let's move on.

: ̗̀➛ [Vivi] Sexuality: Demi-sexual Lesbian. I don't think she's ever thought about sex as something she wants or feels attracted to. At least not until Nami shows up. Romantic attraction: Lesbiab. Lebanese. Dyke. Bollera in Spanish. Girl kisser. Woman liker. Homosexual. No men allowed between her legs and her heart. Friend of Ellen, as Annie Edison would say. Gender: I think she's a cis girl. She/Her. Would literally punch violently anyone who misgendered somebody from the crew. My princess. My girlfriend, actually. Her pronouns are loveof/mylife.

: ̗̀➛ [Robin] Sexuality: Bisexual but also probably Graysexual because I don't think she feels attraction often and doesn't really get aroused if it doesn't come with other emotions. Preference for big, and gentle men. By big, gentle men I mean Franky and Jinbe. And by gentle I mean Brook. The four of them together, btw. Romantic attraction: Birromantic. I think she's just, like, vibing. Learning to love. She has so much trauma she deserves to be in a tender relationship and she just happens to be with four men but she knows how to appreciate a woman. Gender: Transfem. She/Her. You know those older trans women who give the most comforting, calm, mature energy in the world? That's Nico Robin. Gonna keep it SFW but she tops Franky 100%. And also helped Sanji with her transition. I love this. Please adopt me, Robin. She's perfect.

: ̗̀➛ [Franky] Sexuality: Bisexual. If a man doesn't know how to appreciate another man's beauty, then he isn't manly enough. Women are perfect. Men are perfect. He's wonderful. I love him. Romantic attraction: Birromantic. I swear to fucking god he has something going on with Jinbe and Brook and Robin. I am so not normal about them- Gender: Cis man but he'd probably consider being a cyborg a third, secret gender, so I'm gonna let him have that too. He/Him.

: ̗̀➛ [Brook] Sexuality: Bisexual classy grandpa. The fact that he's a gentle grandpa has a lot to do with his sexuality (no it doesn't). He might be a pervert around women but at least he supports consent, so, he's better than Sanji here. Romantic attraction: Grayromantic because I feel he doesn't get real crushes easily. Especially since his boyfriend (his former captain) died. The trauma he probably has around romance now, damn. Gender: Hear me out he's the most Unlabeled thing ever. He/They. He's just bones and most people don't even know how to tell the difference between sexes when it comes to bones. Robin is actually the only one who knows his AGAB and she doesn't care anyway, so. Gender norms are bullshit and he's just the Soul King.

: ̗̀➛ [Jinbe] Sexuality: Graysexual and Bi. He's somewhere there in the Ace spectrum. I just don't know where. I think he's, like, not that interested in bodies and sex? He would only have sex with somebody he loves and it wouldn't even be for the arousal and the attraction. Romantic attraction: Demi-romantic, which is not the same as gray. Because I think he'd need, like, to spend time with Robin/Franky/Brook to form a deep bond and then he'd slowly and gently start falling for them individually. I swear I am so normal. Please, they should adopt me. I want the four of them to be my parents. Gender: Cis man. He/Him. Biggest trans supporter in the whole fucking world.

The Going Merry is actually called the Going Liberal and the Thousand Sunny is technically the Theysand Sunny and with the help of their ships the straw hats are trying to find the Woke Piece.

[thekaiqueen]

Some of my genshin ships that aren't reciprocated

Most of the time when i see ships its reciprocated romantic relationships and i just feel like people dont really talk about other dynamics (one-sided, exes, etc)

not including queer-platonic ships because most of my ships are

1. Wriolette (one-sided)

I might not be remembering my lore right, but Wrio was a teenager when he went on trial, which is also when he met Neuvi. I think he was like Wrio's gay awakening or whatever.

2. Neuvichi & Clorchi & Chibedo (one-sided)

Childe is just that one tweet that was like "im pansexual which means im attracted to anyone who can beat me in physical combat" I doubt most of them last longer than a few days but still.

3. Wriorinde (exes)

They give exes-to-besties vibes. I hc both of them to be aspec (Clorinde arospec and Wriothesley Ace) and i feel like they would joke and say like "yeah, they're the reason im aro" or smthg

4. Kazugorou (exes)

Idk i think they'd have gotten together during the war cause of like "we could die any second, i wouldnt mind dying along side you" but realized afterwards that they just didnt work together, theyre still friends tho.

5. Dottolisa (exes)

Honestly i was writing a collei fic and thought it'd be funny if while Dottore was doing his thing he would talk about his ex-girlfriend. And then Collei finally escaped and went to mond only to meet said ex-girlfriend.

[ven-finn]

begging you to give us your incoherent aspec jerida thoughts

fuck ok???? i dont have like. any order to them or anything im just. spiraling. also im really tired so this is such word vomit. BUT U ASKED FOR IT! 

Her mom would have given Merida a lot of internalized garbage, completely unintentionally but still incredibly hurtful all the same. Like just everything about Brave is Merida rejecting her patriarchal society at large, but especially its heteronormative/amatonormative culture that Elinor keeps pushing onto her. She’s not even marrying for love in the first place, she’s marrying for peace, and fuck does Merida hate ALL of it. It’s not malicious, but in Elinor’s head something that just comes with keeping up appearances are straight milestones. 

and u don’t need a reason to hc a character as ace for any reason ever but like fullstop I think why I hc Jack as ace so strongly is because of the way he just kind of ignores Tooth’s blatant crush on him. Like. Thinking specifically of when Tooth hugs him towards the very end of Rotg and he just goes. Aha. Welp. And moves right back onto talking things out with Jamie. It’s just my interpretation of the scene but I think viewing it that way is kind of funny. He just....doesn’t feel the need to address it, because how can he, y’know? Not any of his business. 

They’re partners. In crime. And also partners. And they laugh every time their allo friends TRY *try* to define whatevers going on with them in the very limited way allos tend to do. Like are they boyfriend and girlfriend? Not strictly. Are they dating? Yes. Is romance involved? Depending on the day. Why the fuck do you need to know? And that confuses everyone else to no end, and while that confusion might have bothered a younger, still questioning, Merida, I think Jack’s easygoing nature would help her laugh off a lot of shit. Like, in her head she can go yknow what? Jack’s right, I doesn’t care about what people speculate about my love-life and nothing about my orientation is confusing or messy, I’m fucking great. She especially doesn’t care when she’s got Jack, and he’s got her, and they’ve got their friends who DO understand. All that matters at the end of the day is that Jack and Merida care about each other a lot, labels be damned. 

also obsessed with them bullying the shit out of awful romcoms together. just. completely tearing apart stupid tropes. rapunzel’s like “c’mon guys u have to admit (xyz film with weird manipulation plot at some point bc u know how straight romcoms are) is KIND of cute” and Jack and Merida share looks like ‘is this girl serious.’  

they got matching aro/ace rings baby. i fucking love ace rings. i love aro rings. i love rings in general. and i think merida would like them too. 

idk its just really appealing to me that Merida DOES find love on her own time, just not in the way everyone expected her to. Since it fits with everything else about her character, and also goddamn it arospec merida just means a lot to me. i’ve said before I’m partial to demi hcs with the two of them, but honestly any sort are good. 

oh also elsa is an aro lesbian. not really related but I think its really cute to imagine Merida using their intersect of identities to worm her way into being friends. yknow. like. oho. you’re aro? i’m aro. what a coincidence...................please be my friend. 

[aro-culture-is]

i think i may be arospec, but idk what to do about it... i id as a bisexual/grayace and the ace part is quite new, only about a year. but, in the past my relos kind of just happened. they asked me out and cuz i showed i mild personal interest/curiousity and didnt say no (cuz i wasnt like "in love") i said yes and we dated. im in another relo and he's SUPER romantic and i dont get it, it kinda makes me feel uncomfortable cuz i dont do it back naturally... does this sound like aspec stuff??

[empty paragraph in case tumblr eats it]

hi!

obligatory: i’m an internet stranger who knows nothing of your personal circumstances other than what you have sent. even if I did know more your identity is yours to chose.

that said, uhhh yeah that matches a fair amount of aro-spec things to me. I tend to define aromanticism strongly around experiencing little to no romantic attraction, and aro-spec as experiencing less than the cultural standard of romantic attraction and/or conditional attraction. from my understanding, as a person who has never felt romantic attraction, most people who are not arospec experience romantic attraction first around the age of 10 or even earlier (though it can be later) and it’s apparently distinct for most individuals.

the fact that you don’t describe that as being part of your dating suggests to me that you don’t necessarily experience that, which, by definition, would make you aro-spec, or more specifically aromantic.

additionally, this is also kinda exactly how I went about dating, including the relationship with someone who’s super romantic and being kinda uncomfortable because it doesn’t feel natural to do it back. I would suggest that you look into the term romance repulsion - and know that it doesn’t have to be an identity modifier, just a phenomena that can occur. it may or may not match your experience, but it is how I’m reading it.

however you feel about the above, I would advise talking to your boyfriend about feeling uncomfortable at times with the super romantic stuff - it’s possible to date as an aro person, even one with some romance repulsion and you don’t have to discuss that immediately if you’re not there yet - but in a healthy relationship there should still be some communication around discomfort.

You could say something like “hey, so you say/do x thing a lot, and (i like that / think it’s nice of you / or even don’t super enjoy it, though i’d leave off the rest then). I’m a little uncomfortable though because I struggle to express it back. Are you looking for a response when you do x? (if yes, maybe ask about what the response might be, alternatives if that’s not comfy with you, or just have an emotionally honest discussion about how you feel with plenty of I statements)”.

I hope this helps! you may also find it useful to scroll through the tag “am i aro”, attached to this post.

- mod kee

disclaimer under readmore:

Hi. I'm an internet stranger. I am one person. I will speak from my personal perspective. I happen to be more visible in the aro community than some, and this puts me in a unique position where I am asked many types of questions. I will do my best, but I am not representative of all aromantic people, or even my specific identities of non-sam or loveless. Sometimes, I might say something and later disagree with that stance. Treat me as the unqualified stranger I am.

[rataltouille]

WHAT IS SWEET BRIAR???? IM CURIOUS also pocket lesbians

okay so i’ve talked about pocket lesbians here already !

[this is my original work, do not use / repurpose / plagiarise in any form]

sweet briar the working title for a webcomic i’ve had banging around in my head since i was thirteen in various different mediums. it’s essentially a mlm romance except their relationship is extremely nuanced by the fact that both of them are extremely aspec and one of them is arospec 🤸

this story has had multiple names and forms [the original being in like 2016 when i was still in my c*shet phase] but essentially its form progression looks like this: short story [full romance, meet-cute, mlw]—> novel [still romance, neighbours to lovers (is that even a trope), mlm] —> webcomic [contemporary, strangers to lovers, mlm]. details:

mcs are dev [he/they] and adrien [he/him]. the story’s sort of an exploration of queer romance but through an aroace lens? i’m aromantic and have never been very comfortable with writing “proper” romances, so this story is like a compromise which i love

by virtue of the storytelling medium, this would involve three “seasons”: the first one focusses on adrien starting afresh in a place where he isn't known only as “the trans kid” and deals with self-identity; the second one on dev’s extremely strained relationship with their [homophobic] family and with realising that you don't have to forgive the shitty people in your life. the third season would be idk lmao but it would focus mostly on their relationship!

they're both asian <3 adrien’s chinese and dev’s desi, and there is ofc going to be a lot of me gushing about being asian and how sexy it is through the characters because i like doing so.

the entire story is secretly a love letter to singapore, which is where their uni is [it’s a college story again! which i want to make when i’m in uni too] and where the majority of the story is set, and is also probably my favourite place in the world and where i wanted to go to for uni but can’t because reasons but we don’t talk about that

since it’ll be a webcomic i am very excited to see how my “drafting” process would have to adapt and also might have to learn to screen write just for this and that might be really fun 👁️

ask me about my wips!

[arospectips]

first of all thank you for all that y’all do!! i’ve sent in,,, a lot,,, and y’all have been so helpful and nice so thank you so much!! :))) this will be ~long~ so strap in. the bullet points make it look longer than it is but i figure it’s easier to read that way? idk. anyway i thought i was arospec and now i’m thinking i may be full aro? i know no one else can tell “diagnose” me or anything but i was hoping to get some perspective. so i’m just gonna put down all my thoughts and hope i haven’t forgotten anything.

- my first “crush” was in preschool

- i’ve had a lot of “crushes,” more than anyone else i’ve met, and none have lasted very long (at most until i stopped seeing them regularly)

- for the duration of these “crushes,” i could never really sort out my feelings and would eventually just accept it was romantic in order to stop thinking about it

- i’ve always thought of crushes as a fun thing, more of something i could choose rather than something that chose me (“this person is attractive and funny, do i have a crush on them? yes. no. probably. yeah, sure.” rather than “ahh i’m blushing and this attractive person made me laugh oh god do i like them?”)

- my “crushes” tended to be cute guys who were nice/funny or a close girl friend

- it never occurred to me to date these people until other people around me started dating

- when i was homeschooled for one year, 6th grade, i was mainly isolated (by choice/circumstance—as in nobody forced me to be alone or anything. my parents are great and cool) and didnt think about/yearn for a romantic relationship

- i began to question if i was acespec and found i am uncomfortable being described as “biromantic”

- i can easily imagine characters in romantic relationships but it is very difficult to imagine myself in one

- i “dated” a guy for about two weeks and was not comfortable when he would be *oogie*

- my favorite part of romance is the closeness, the idea of being committed to another person—everything that could also be construed as romance

- when characters are being particularly romantic (i.e. wedding vows, etc.) i get uncomfortable or skeptical, something i assumed everyone did because it seems so unrealistic

- for a long time i thought a romantic relationship would be the only way for me to be validated in my gender (if my partner was romantically attracted to men and was romantically attracted to me, then they must see me as a man so that means society sees me as a man and i get a stamp on my Transmasc Card or something)

- i thought a romantic relationship would be the only way for me to have a long-term/committed relationship (i’m not good at keeping friends)

- the times i have wanted a romantic relationship the most i have been the most insecure

- i enjoy reading/writing/watching romance (see clarification above) and have hardcore ships. but only queer ships?

- i really really wanted a romantic relationship (again, see above)

- i’ve been imagining my wedding since i was Baby because ohmygod big party and loving someone/people and them loving me

- i had a very intense “crush” for a few months on my best friend in middle school

- i like to cuddle/whatever and am ambivalent about kissing (which i’ve never done so i guess i can’t really have an opinion on it)

- up until i began questioning, i always thought i would be in a typical monogamous relationship, get married, have kids, etc.

- a while back my sister told me she had never had a crush and i didn’t understand how that could be (before i knew aspec was a thing)

- both my therapists think it is just how relationships are/this is just phase/i’m confused/etc.

- i am extremely introverted so maybe all this is a result of that rather than being aro

thank you for reading and taking the time to respond to my stupid long ask, i love and appreciate you all!!!

There sure are a lot of relatable aro things in here. Fake crushes, thinking you want to date someone and then realizing that you don't actually, having different feelings about fictional romance and real romance, not thinking about relationships when there's no one around to put it on your mind, wanting a relationship for the sake of proving you're not cis/het… you're certainly not alone in any of those things. 

You might benefit from the term "alterous attraction" which can be used to describe an emotional pull that doesn't fit neatly into platonic or romantic. Kind of like gender, this is one of those binaries that more or less works for a majority of people, so we end up acting like the area in between or outside of it doesn't exist. 

Closeness, commitment, kissing, and cuddling are not actually exclusive to romance. These are common motives for aros to pursue queerplatonic, alterous, or similar relationships. Wanting those things does not preclude you from being aromantic.

Therapists, like anyone, are not always great when it comes to aspec issues. There's a good chance your therapists would tell even the most obvious aro person in the world that it's just a phase or a repression problem. I'd suggest looking for a new therapist, maybe taking a look at arorecommended. If you can't do that, then it's probably best to avoid the subject of romance. 

Being introverted doesn't seem to stop plenty of alloromantics from having yearnings and crushes. They might have a harder time actively pursuing those crushes, but the same desires are there. 

Overall there's nothing here that makes me want to say, "Yeah that's romantic attraction". If you think aromantic fits better than any other arospec label, go for it. 

[stellarspecter]

day 2

for @the-wip-project’s 100 days of writing challenge

the prompt for day 2 is: For your current WIP: What motivates you to write this specific story? What makes this story special for you? Is there a special twist/trope/setting you want to explore? What got you started on this particular story?

once, again, since i cannot talk about my troped fic, i’ll talk about my aro bi reggie fic. it’s going to be the third installment in my jatp polyam series, and it centers around (as you could probably guess) reggie realizing he is and then coming out as aromantic (they already knew he was bi obvs lol). i got the idea for it from @secretly-of-course’s amazing aro bi reggie art and hcs, and latched on to it immediately because of course i have to make my favorite characters aro who am i without projecting all over them lmao. i started writing it in january and then very quickly got stuck on it bc idk how to write romance/confessions of love/alloromantic characters (even tho none of them are gonna end up completely allo by the time i’m done with them, but that’s a whole different thing) 

(side note, if any arospec (esp alloaro) ppl want to help me out with this, that would be great -- like, what do you want to see in a story like this? what don’t you want to see? and if anyone wants to beta it that would be good too sljfk i am determined to get this out before the end of pride month)

back to the prompt: there is sort of a twist to it that i want to explore? basically, reggie comes out as aro to his boyfriends, they are like “cool but what” and then basically agree that on reggie’s end their relationship is a qpr now, but then that will inspire the rest of them (probably alex first lol) to rethink their own sexualities and how they may fit on the a-spectrum, probably in a second chapter? i currently have luke as demi for sure and alex and bobby as gray-ace, though that might change, we’ll see. luke is firmly demi in my mind, i think a lot because of this fic by squirrelno2 (idk if they have a tumblr). idk just everything about luke just screams demi to me -- him being attracted to people mostly because they like the same music is just. so in character. alex and bobby i’m less sure about, but they will be aspec somehow! i think i vibe the most with gray-ace for alex and gray-something for bobby? i might make him quoi just for the projection factor but idk. feel free to talk to me about these hcs btw i can talk about aro stuff forever lmao

but yeah mostly i just wanted to write a fic with some polyam qpr aro representation! this fandom is better than most with the polyam/qpr side of things but as a polyam aro in a qpr myself i couldn’t not write it.

[corelliaxdreaming]

pride month questionnaire!! 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, 16, 17, 18, 24, 26, 28, 29, and 30

1. what is your sexuality? Asexual, specifically gray ace 2. what do you identify as? Aroace/gray aroace 4. do you have any preferences? You said I could say preferences on literally anything, but I’m gonna do something pride-realted. So, aspec headcanons! I’ve noticed that I tend to more often write Tycho and arospec and Wedge as acespec, though I’m totally open to either being either/both. 5. share a positive memory about coming out! Gotta be when I finally wrote out a long email explaining everything and sent it to my grandma, and when we talked after, she told me she’d discussed it with my grandpa and he said “not everybody feels that sort of thing.” So just, shocking grandpa coming in with the understanding!! 6. how do you feel about pride month? I’m having kind of a hard time with it currently becuase there’s so much going on in the world, but I think it’s great overall, and I look forward to celebrating many more. 7. do you participate in pride related events? any other events? I guess not a lot? I’ve been to an ace group a couple of times, but that’s about it. I definitely want to do actual pride events in the future, y’know, when everything isn’t cancelled. 8. how do you feel about lgbtqa roles in media? There needs to be more of them! Especially more aspec stuff, especially more aro stuff. And please please textual qprs! 9. do you feel pride in who you are? Pride is still a bit hard, but I think I’m pretty well along the road of acceptance, at least. :) 10. who has been your supportive idols in your self discovery? @aphorisnt @aphorisnt @aphorisnt best queer mentor!!! It was her asking me “do you think you might be on the asexual spectrum?” that got the ball rolling for me at all. 12. what sort of advice to have you lgbtqa teens? Something like don’t feel pressured to fit into a certain group. You don’t have to be straight or cis or allo just because it seems like “everyone” else is. There are people out there like you, and though the journey may be hard, you will find happiness and acceptance. 13. have you come out to friends and family? I’m out to my closest friends and family, so a handful of people. All the ones who really matter to me. 14. how do you feel about the term “coming out”? I don’t mind it. 16. any tips on coming out? If I could advise my past self, I’d say don’t put it off because you’re afraid of how it might go. I was lucky enough that it went very well, and I spend a lot of extra time agonizing over it that I didn’t need to. 17. what’s your biggest pet peeve when it comes to lgbtqa characterization in media? Aromantic people basically not existing. Ace people not existing outside of books. 18. what’s your favorite parts of lgbtqa characterization in media? When actual identity words are used (asexual, aromantic, bi, pan, etc). I respect that some real people prefer not to use labels, but especially in the case of asepc identities, a lot of readers/viewers aren’t going to know that’s what’s going on unless it’s spelled out. And it makes it impossible for bigots to insist it isn’t there to begin with. 24. how do you feel about the term “queer”? I like it and freely use it for myself. 26. favorite lgbtqa actor/actress? Can I say IDK about actors and replace it with every aspec author to ever write an own voices book? 28. what’s the most annoying question you have ever gotten? Dear jesus. I mentioned aromanticism to a coworker today (at the time in the context of a character rather than myself) and got both “is that like objectophilia?” and “is it because they love themselves too much?” *massive eyeroll* 29. how do you feel about receiving questions about your sexuality/idenity? I don’t mind them all as long as they’re respectful and well-intentioned. 30. what is your romantic affiliation? I’ve been assuming heteroromantic (and heterosexual), but the longer I identify as aspec, the more I wonder if I’m really just not attracted to anyone at all of any gender.

[ofieugogyshz]

1 2 4 6! @goldenworldsabound

@goldenworldsabound

1. Are any of your F/Os LGBT+? ummmm p sure my idol girls are all somewhere on the ace spectrum. Rin is nyanbinary! [geddit? bc she nyas?] She probably is also demiromo and ace! Mari is definitely lesbian and actually probably not that ace at all. Ai-Ai is mmmmm maybe pansexual? and Demiromo? I honestly wouldn’t know without seeing more content of her. But I can see her being pan easily. Hanamaru is aroace! 

as for the boys... uh. My husband is in a queer relationship regardless bc I’m queer, so it doesn’t really matter? And Otoya... Ace? Ace. Aspec? Grayce? I honestly don’t know since, y’know, basically otome series so it doesn’t really matter much. 

Caulifla is possibly bi or pan leaning strongly towards girls, so more likely goes by lesbian? idk how to explain that one correctly right there bc my brain is mush rn

Kale is lesbian

Cabba is ace and demiro because i said so.

Trunks is an enboy/enby demiboy, and also ace. because he can be?

i think i’m missing someone but it’s probably bc they don’t come up/haven’t figured into anything.

2. Did you come out to them? How did it go?

uhhhh coming out to lance re being ace was more like shouting excitedly because i finally found the word/experience explanations that made sense and realizing that FINALLY. A WORD. TO GET EVERYONE OFF MY BACK ABOUT DATING AND NOT WANTING SEX. BLESS. it basically just involved me excitedly yelling across the room to him. it was cute, he says. 

realizing being arospec was....... a lot more difficult bc i worried a lot about him thinking that it meant that i didn’t love him, bc i do, and that maybe it proved that i was more selfish or something, and etc etc, but he could tell that something was eating me up lately so we finally sat down and had a talk and he... took it very well? he wasn’t hurt by it because i still showed him love and compassion and support and pointed out that my feelings towards him hadn’t suddenly changed or been any different than they were before all of this. that it didn’t change anything about how i felt, how much i loved and cared for him. [and he gently nudged me about if i had thought about gray or demi labels and whatnot and i eventually found/looked into more labels and hoo boy my sub labels are too much please help i do not like having like 4-5 terms and conditions] i still felt bad for awhile that i couldn’t love him in the same way that he did, but he did his best to show me that our love was still the same, if not it being seen in a different light now, and that he wasn’t going to leave me or get angry with me because of it. it was a really hard first few months for me bc of intense guilt about it but he still stood by me and eventually it started to go away.

the enby stuff was a recent thing as of a year or two ago and i basically was just like “hey babe, i think i’m enby? or agender? i’m not sure which rn but enby sounds cuter and has the better flag colors so i’m gonna try out that for awhile” and he was just like, “okay. let me know if you change pronouns or anything” “ ‘kay “

4. How did you celebrate pride together?

i go as part of sbux’s group and my husband usually has to work but this year (and 2018? or the year before. Whenever the mass shooting happened) he went with me to make sure I stayed safe. if it happens this year he says he’ll go with me again, tho he’s been trying to suggest that I skip out on it this year if it happens. I told him I’ll play it by ear. 

There aren’t a lot of us aros and aces at pride. Someone’s gotta represent us and that’s usually me.

6. Do you own any pride merch? Have you made any yourself?

not a lot! I recently got some more stuff this year. Ummm I have an ACE hat with the flag colors on the word ‘ace’ and that’s been cool. I’ve forgotten to wear it for the last few years but it also got lost a coupla times the last few years ;>> I recently got a cute agender and ace pin at the last con I went to before all covid happened! and I picked up two queer pins from hot topic, i thought? maybe it was just the one, which is “Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not”. I feel like there might be something else I’m forgetting about between but I recently gave in and bought the dragon wing collar pin here and the aro one here. ;>_> gee i wonder why. 

Oh! if tarot decks count I have the Numinous Tarot! and I backed their oracle deck based off their huge comic. and i think there might be one more deck but that’s honestly the only one that comes to mind that is EXCLUSIVELY queer by design and not just “the lovers card is queer and that’s all the rep you get in the deck” [btw the lovers in numinous was instantly my fave/i fell in love with/was BASICALLY WHY I BOUGHT THE DECK, because it was definitely aroace inclusive and i even asked the creator about it and they said it was an influence!] 

I was gonna make myself some beaded keychains of the flags but that fell through as did my energy levels. 

OH THE FLAGS. I FORGOT THAT I BOUGHT ACE AND ARO FLAGS OFF AMAZON FOR PRIDE LAST YEAR. i was gonna get an enby one but they weren’t as cheap :T plus i can only fit two flags around me as a cape. which is one more than others.

[ohgodfeelingss]

ik the title for this blog is for thoughts of the ‘romantic’ kind but idk i still find it hard to consider this all romantic? maybe it’s just the connotations and stuff i associate w the idea of ‘romance’ and ‘romantic’ things. by definition i guess it’s romantic, because i want to pursue a typical relationship of boyfriend and girlfriend, but idk. the label of ‘romantic’ doesn’t seem to fit right 😭 or maybe im just not that comfortable with the word ‘romantic.’ to be honest im not that comfortable with the words ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’ and i keep getting random thoughts referring to him as my boyfriend which i have to beat down with a stick because i feel weird about it. although that might be more because i feel like i’m jumping the gun with that? also part of me feels like we’re not that compatible… we have the opposite music tastes, and im not here to declare which genres are musical opposites, i mean literally my favourite genre is one he hates, and his favourite genre is one of the very few i don’t actually like. and we don’t really have much in common… at all… 😭😭😭 like?? i don’t even know man.

what, then, is this attraction based on u might ask? i’m arospec. i thought i was strictly aro before this. do NOT ask me LMAO i have no fucking idea. one day i just was like, huh. and then three days later i was like. HUH. and then a week later i was like. Oh Fuck. and now we’re here, and i’m saying This is Real.

because i’m not even particularly aesthetically attracted to him, which is one of the strongest attractions i feel??? and i don’t have any platonic feelings for him like i do for my closest friends, which i’ve wondered if they were romantic before. sexual attraction was never in the question at the beginning, so can’t be the turning point (although i will say there’s kind of some grey sexual attraction involved sometimes now so there’s that… i guess??)

so honestly, i could not tell you why my brain decided one day ‘i want That One.’

why do i wanna be his girlfriend at this point is probably a good introspective question. and yknow. i dont even know. it’s a scary thought to be his actual girlfriend lol. i don’t think i’m ‘attracted’ to him because i like his attention, at least i don’t think so? because he’s a pretty quiet guy, at least when he’s with my group of friends because it’s not His group of friends. that’s not a ‘i want to crack open his cold quiet mysterious exterior’ kind of thing either. idk. i like cuddling him. i like it when he talks.

why am i listing these and suddenly thinking ‘oh god maybe i am just aromantic’ 😭😭😭

i’ve decided this is at least somewhat related to romantic attraction, just because it kind of fits in line. i want him to like me, i wanna be close to him, i got sad when i thought he wasn’t gonna show up despite saying he would, sometimes i think i wanna kiss him, i want him to only be into me, i would absolutely feel jealous and dejected if he started showing interest in someone else, i wanna look pretty for him, i woke up dreaming about him once (jfc when i tell you that took me off guard 😭😭😭), there was a point where i only thought about talking to him and getting to know him more for like two days straight, i got nervous texting him because i really wanted him to come over, yknow, that kind of stuff.

it’s just. very difficult to come up with a ‘why’ for any of that. 😭😭😭

idk why he’s just Him???? and my brain chose Him????? idk i feel bad thinking about this sometimes tho because it feels like im saying he has nothing to offer or that he’s not a likeable or cool guy or something, but he is a cool guy and honestly chill. but like. im not singing disney songs about all his likeable qualities or something??

i will say tho, he has nice fucking arms 😭😭 and thighs 😭😭

look, throughout my entire aspec journey, starting from thinking i was het ace to bi ace to aroace, i have always said if i was gonna like anyone it’d be someone who could pick me up and throw me out of a window without breaking a sweat. at least i knew something about myself KSJFJSNF

god just thinking about this is making me wanna teleport in time to when we were cuddling again. i wanna be in his arms 90% of the time and infhusbfjxbcnz

he is cute though. his hair is fluffy and curly and it reminds me of a poodle 🥺🥺

gah. i dont know 😭