#it doesn’t let you move on to another section if you don’t have absolutely everything filled out on the sections before it

[lovelyisadora]

job searching Sucks like what do you mean I need a teaching certification. nowhere in this job listing does it say I need a teaching certification!!

[lvis44]

Sweet Escape Pt. 8 // LH44

Lewis Hamilton x Y/N

Warnings: Swearing, 18+ (Smut and Dirty Talk), Alcohol, Angst, Emotional Dilemmas, PDA, Secrecy, Not Edited

Word Count: 8.5k+

Summary: Paradise is supposed to be fun and relaxing... a Sweet Escape, but when unspoken feelings and jealousy rise to the surface, everything can be turned upside down in the blink of an eye.

Notes: We have reached our final destination (well kind of, there will still be an epilogue). This is the final part of Sweet Escape. Thank you all so much for all the love, I'm so glad that you guys have enjoyed it as much as I have enjoyed writing it! I will be back soon with another little daydream. I love you all and enjoy the conclusion to our roller coaster.

I am not a professional writer and all of this is a work of fiction and is strictly for fun. Enjoy! xxx

Previous Sections: Prologue - Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven

You can’t risk losing Lewis. 

As you step out of the shower you feel a surge of anxiety and power wash over you. How the hell are you supposed to talk to him? It doesn’t take long before you hear him coming down the hall, greeting Daniel on the way, evidently just back from his run. You decide to bite the bullet, there’s no point in wasting time. You hear his door close and immediately make your way out of your own. Your hair is still wet and your attire is mismatched, throwing short on the second you heard him in the hallway. You don’t particularly care if anyone hears you or sees you, you need to get this out before you continue to think about it and change your mind. You’ve gone back and forth over this enough times, you need to finally make your thoughts known. You knock on his door, hoping he can hear you. Thankfully it only takes a moment before his door swings open, he’s standing there covered in sweat, his breathing still slightly labored, just having got back from his run. 

“Y/N?” He seems slightly confused at your sudden intrusion, “Is everything okay?”

You don’t answer his question just pushing past his sticky body and into his bedroom, it’s been a while since you were last in here, today will be a much different outcome. You’re going to stand your ground. He doesn’t ask another question just accepting that you must need to talk, moving to push his door shut.

“Why did you take me to see Marina and Leon?” You blurt out the second his door is closed.

He hesitates for a moment, a question written across his face, “I don’t know, I thought it would be good for Leon to meet someone like you, and Marina had about a billion questions about you so, I don’t know, it just felt right.”

“Why have you told Marina about me?” You ask your next question, not really waiting to process what he’s saying.

“Because I care about you, I’m constantly thinking about you, and I like to tell her about important things in my life. You’re an important thing in my life.” He shrugs as if it shouldn’t even be a question.

“What about us has ever made you think that a relationship between the two of us would even ever work?” You ask him, feeling your heart clench at his words but needing to get all your questions out as quickly as possible.

“I kind of thought I made that clear,” He starts softly, unsure if you’ll really let him get all of his thoughts out, “but, I guess to try to explain it, it’s everything that you do, everything I feel when I’m around you. Charlotte yelled at me a few days ago, and rightfully so, about constantly acting like your boyfriend with none of the commitment or intimacy, that it’s not fair to either of us, not fair to you. Y/N, I am truly happy every second I spend with you, you’re an absolute breath of fresh air, a respite, the idea of coming home to someone like that warms my soul. I have spent so much time wandering around, looking for a place to land and looking in all of the wrong places, evidently. I don’t want to do that anymore, not when everything I’ve always wanted and needed is right in front of me. I’ve been single for a long time, but I know what this feels like, I’ve just never felt it like this before. We’re already halfway there, I don’t see why taking the next step would be bad for either of us.”

He’s just standing in the middle of his room, keeping a good distance from you, trying his best to bore his speech into your brain. It annoys you how good he can look even after a run. When most people would look like a drowned rat with the amount of sweat covering his body, he looks like he’s shining, the sweat somehow making every muscular dip and tattoo even more center stage than usual. You stare at him for a moment, letting his rant twist your heart in ways you didn’t know it could, swallowing down tears as you hear just how much the man in front of you truly cares. You hate that everything he has said is right.

“Thank you again for trusting me with meeting Leon, and Marina, I’m honored you let me into that part of your life.” You say, your voice thick with emotion.

You can see his face contort, confused at both your lack of proper response and your subject change, he imagines it’s because you’re trying to swerve away from the topic, but he just nods softly, “Of course, I trust with you with my life, with my heart, with everything. There’s no one I would rather he meet.”

“I don’t want to lose you Lewis.” You say firmly, “I can’t lose you, that’s why us trying this doesn’t make sense.” Your words are rushed and your brain is speeding a mile a minute, needing to get everything out into the air.

You can visibly see him deflate, his face faltering, an audible sigh coming from him.

“Y/N, sweetheart, I don’t know how many times I need to tell you this but you will never lose me, not in a million years. Sure things may change, but that’s the trajectory of life, regardless of what you and I do, things are destined to change, it’s evolution. Try thinking of it in the sense that you already have me, forever, for better or worse, but now I want to give you more of me, just you. We have each other now, but it could be so much more, and somehow I think even better. Tell me you don’t think about how nice it would be to fall asleep next to each other at night. When I hug you I can feel you melt into me, I fucking relish in it, that’s why I never pull away, that could be our normal, how we fall asleep, how we cuddle and watch some stupid fucking show. Think about how good we could make each other feel, emotionally, physically, fuck, on levels we don’t even know exist yet. I want this with you, I adore you and everything about you, there’s absolutely nothing in my mind that questions you and I being a good couple. We’ve already got the platonic relationship down, we know each other so fucking well, better than most people who have been married for twenty god damn years, we have a head start. Everyone always says that your partner should end up being your best friend, we already did that, so here I am, you best friend, telling you I want to be your partner, and fuck I hope you hear me.”

He lets out a deep sigh as he finishes his rant, you can tell he’s had that bottled within him for a while. You let him speak, not needing to hear it but wanting to, your mind is already made up, it doesn’t really matter what he says at this point. You’re quite amazed by the outpouring of emotions you’re receiving from him, not used to him letting himself truly be vulnerable. He looks tired and you can tell that if he were a normal man he would be close to giving up, but he’s not a normal man and ‘giving up’ is nowhere in his vocabulary. Lewis is competitive and strives to win, he doesn’t back down, especially when it’s truly important to him. That alone is part of the reason that you feel confident in your decision.

“So, if we’re going to do this, some things need to be made very clear.” You continue after his rant, not having the ability to even begin to process everything he just said. You need to charge ahead, his words only fueling your confidence in your decision.

You can tell he doesn’t quite believe the words that have just left your mouth but he does his best to restrain from making you repeat them. He stays silent, nodding obediently, but you can see the corner of his lips twitching, begging to break into the largest smile known to man.

“First, it’s only you and I in this relationship, your playboy fuckboy antics, they need to be thrown out the window immediately.” You begin the list that had played over and over in your head over the last few hours, “Second, there always needs to be communication, on both of our parts, no fucking games, no fucking secrets, honesty and communication.”

He’s nodding along eagerly, you almost worry that he’s not listening but you can’t stop yourself to reprimand him.

“Third,” You continue, “we take this slow. I am not and will never be one of your play things. You will respect me and my limits and we’re not rushing into anything, you need to prove yourself, I’m still a little bit upset with you. Fourth, jesus christ, for the love of god, please get tested, I don’t need every bitch from every corner of the universe inside of me. Got it?”

He giggles at your last demand but nods nonetheless.

“Done, done, done, and already done.” He agrees, no hesitation.

“Lewis, I need this to work, because I’m not sure I would be able to function without you at this point.” You sigh, letting your final thought out.

He nods once again, “Agreed,” He lets out a content sigh, “So is that you saying you’ll do this with me? You’ll be mine, all mine?” His voice is hesitant but eager as he asks the question, slowly making his way toward you.

“Only if you’ll be mine and only mine.” You say, your voice quieting down as he approaches you.

“In a heartbeat babe.” His voice is only above a whisper but his eyes are boring down into yours, making you anxious and giddy all at once.

“Okay, last demand, properly ask me out.” Your lips lose your internal battle as they spread across your face into a wide smirk, needing to make him work for it one last time. It’s cruel, really, with how much he has already put into winning you over, but you need him to do it. One last little bit of confidence that this is all real.

“Y/N Y/L/N, will you please be my girlfriend? All mine, forever?” His smile has now broken over his face, unable to contain it as he stands only a few inches from you. He laughs gently through his words, amused by your request but willing to do whatever you need to finally be his. He’s smiling in a way you don’t think you’ve ever seen before, it's a whole new level of boyish excitement that makes your heart swell.

“Lewis Hamilton, I would be absolutely honored.” Within seconds of the words leaving your lips he has wrapped you in a large bear hug, picking you up off the ground, making you squeal.

“Lewis,” You whine through laughter, “you’re so fucking sweaty, I just showered.”

“This is what you just signed up for baby girl.” He chuckles, pressing a kiss against your head. You're rather confident that your name has already been long forgotten, pet names now taking its place.

“Okay, I take it back, I regret my decision.” You laugh playfully, his beard tickling you as he continues his assault of kisses that have now made their way to your cheek.

“Nope, no take backs.” He giggles against your cheek, placing you back down on the floor.

When he finally releases his grip from you his hands quickly find your cheeks, cupping your smiling face in his large hands.

“So beautiful, and all mine.” He mutters as if to himself.

“All yours.” You whisper back, making his smile even bigger if possible.

“I know you said we have to take this slow,” He starts, making you raise an eyebrow at him, “but can I please kiss you?”

You don’t have it anywhere in you to say no, all you can do is bite your lip with a nod, eagerly awaiting his lips on yours. He stares at you for a moment, as if processing the permission you just granted him. You expected the kiss to be harsh, almost messy from his excitement, but it was far from it. He leans in to you slowly, almost cautiously before connecting his lips with yours. You both sigh the moment you’re finally in contact. His lips are so soft and his large hands cupped around your cheek make you feel small, all you can do is melt into him. You bring your arms up around his sticky neck, still sweatier than you would normally find yourself being okay with. He keeps the kiss gentle but moves one arm to snake around your waist, pulling you flush against him as if there’s no possibility you could ever be close enough. He doesn’t move to deepen the kiss, his tongue never appears, he barely even moves, just enjoying the fact that you’re finally connected, even in the most simple of ways. When he finally pulls away you find yourself wanting to chase his lips, not having had quite enough just yet. He notices the involuntary reaction, chuckling slightly as he rests his forehead on yours. You place your hands on his chest, enjoying the firmness under your palms, realizing that it’s all yours to enjoy now. You almost go to take back your statement about taking it slow but the last logical brain cell you have stops you.

“We have to figure out how to make this work Lewis.” You whisper, not wanting to disrupt the peace in between you two.

“We will, I would never forgive myself if I let you go.” He says, his voice just as quiet.

“Do we tell everyone?” You ask, not sure what to do next, especially when trapped in a house together.

“We can wait, or do whatever feels natural. As long as we know.” He eases your mind, letting you know there’s no pressure.

You nod, grateful you don’t feel the need to go announce it to the whole house.

“Now go take a shower so I can have a much less disgusting hug.” You laugh, pushing against his chest.

“You liked it.” He joins your laughter, slowly parting from you.

“Shower.” You repeat, pointing toward the door of the bathroom.

“You can always join.” He playfully winks.

“Slow, Lewis, we’re taking it slow.” You reprimand him, feeling yourself blush but still laughing.

“I’ll be quick, be ready with open arms.” He flashes you a smile, disappearing into the bathroom.

…

You’re in the kitchen, starting to prepare dinner when Lewis finally comes out of his room, freshly showered and looking so damn cuddly in a large t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. It will forever bother you that even in his pajamas he manages to look better than the entire population. Everyone else is out on the patio, setting the table and making drinks.

“I thought I was getting a hug when I got out of the shower, maybe another kiss.” Lewis whispers to you, startling you when his voice comes from so close behind you.

He chuckles when he notices you jump, stepping away from you only slightly to take a spot next to you at the counter, grabbing a knife and cutting up some veggies. You can’t help but watch as his hand grips the stupid cucumber, something that should not affect you, yet it does.

You’re looking at the way the veins in his hands flex as he adjusts his grip as you mutter to him with a smirk, “Behave.”

“I don’t know, I feel like I was promised a reward that I didn’t get.” He says quietly, shrugging his shoulders. He’s standing close enough to you that you can feel the movement.

“I think you got plenty of a reward for one day. I mean hey, you got me.” You taunt him, your voice staying just as low.

“Oh, how right you are.” He sighs, leaning in to press a quick kiss to your temple before moving past you to the fridge.

“Look who finally showed up to help.” Charlotte’s voice comes through the kitchen as she walks in the back doors.

“Did you want my sweaty ass making your dinner?” Lewis shoots back at her.

Her face scrunches up at the thought.

“Didn’t think so.” He says, his attention already turned back to the fridge in hunt of something.

You can’t help but giggle, feeling as though you are truly on cloud nine. Nothing could have prepared you for the absolute ecstasy that would be coursing through your body after making that man yours, or really you should say allowing yourself to be his, he truly did all the heavy lifting.

“What’s so funny? You know how nasty he is after a run.” Charlotte shoots you a look, almost asking you to back her up.

You just laugh, thinking about the fact that you were wrapped around his sweaty body only twenty minutes ago.

“Whatever, I’m gonna go see if I can find a board game or something for later.” Charlotte announces, heading off toward the other side of a house where you know there is a still unused game room. You’d seen it for only a few minutes, Miles and Lewis having spent a few hours playing on the various arcade games, their inner child truly coming out.

Lewis was now walking back over to you, his hands full of various ingredients he had gathered. You went to attempt to take some of them but he just tutted, swatting your hand away.

“I got this, you just sit over there and look pretty, keep me entertained.” He nodded his head over toward the kitchen island, a smirk on his face.

“I hope you know, my way of keeping you entertained will most likely be me making fun of your culinary skills.” You tell him, not arguing with him doing all the work, as you happily perch yourself on one of the stools. You can’t help but enjoy the view. He takes his cutting board off the counter and moves it to the island, making sure he’s facing you so he can glance at you every once in a while.

“Whatever makes you happy, love.” He chuckles, not looking up at you as he gets to chopping.

Your stomach flips at the pet name, he’s called you love before but to your knowledge it always just been in a polite british way. Now it feels different, you want to  assume it’s because he’s all the sudden your boyfriend, but in reality you know it’s because of just how much you care for the man standing in front of you. You sit in silence for a few moments, just admiring how beautiful he is, truly looking like a god while he does the most mundane tasks. You know you’re done for.

“You’re pretty quiet over there, where the critique?” Lewis teases you, noting your silence.

“Well, first of all I’m just admiring my view,” You admit, “Second of all, you unfortunately seem to be a half decent cook.”

“Babe, I don’t know if my ego can take all this flattery.” He laughs.

“Don’t get used to it, I’m simply in a strangely good mood.” You shrug, laughing yourself.

“I would hope you’d be in a good mood, big shit happened today.” He looks at you with a soft playful smile. You can tell he’s being sincere under his teasing tone.

Before you can respond your friends are making their way into the kitchen, offering to help with dinner before being shooed away by Lewis who is seemingly on his own mission. You can’t help but laugh, noting that he gives Charlotte a run for her money when it comes to being in control of the kitchen. You can’t help but be a tad bit annoyed at the intrusion, not that anyone even knows they were interrupting anything, and in reality, they weren’t. You were just enjoying your one on one time being playful with Lewis in your newfound status after having been at odds with him for so long. Much to your dismay, Lewis paid much less attention to you while your friends were around. You understood it, he was keeping things normal between the two of you, at least outwardly, he was respecting your anxiety of everyone finding out that something had changed between you.

The evening carried on happily and calmly. You discovered that when left on his own in the kitchen, Lewis was actually quite a good cook, you would have to make him cook for you another time, just you. Charlotte had found Monopoly somewhere in the house, which you promptly lost at, Lewis then insisting that you team up. No one batted an eye at it other than Charlotte, she had shot you a questioning look, wordlessly asking if the two of you were okay. You had only nodded, a soft smile on your face. She had seemed content enough with that, letting you be for the rest of the evening. By the time that you were headed to bed you were full of a joy you hadn’t felt in years, maybe ever. Lewis had very discreetly managed to give you a kiss on the cheek and a small hug before you headed to bed, whispering something about caching in on your promise from earlier. As you fell asleep you couldn’t help but feel like all of your stars had finally aligned in the most perfect way, even if you had no idea what was in store for your future.

…

Your final days of vacation were here, a few days prior you would have wished they would come and go as quick as possible but now, waking up in this new chapter of your life, you wished you could bottle the next few days and never let them go. The morning was lazy, lying in the sun after breakfast before deciding to head down to the beach to do the exact same thing, only with even more gorgeous views. From where you were seated, you already had the best view you could possibly ask for. Lewis was off in the side yard, fully immersed in a full body workout. You were admiring him from a distance, pretending to read your book, but your eyes kept wandering over to his glistening back and bulging biceps as he did effortless push-ups, it would have been criminal not to watch. You knew that he knew you were watching him, he had readjusted specifically to give you a better view, the cocky bastard. When everyone had gone inside to get ready, you stayed back, wanting even just a second alone with him. The second everyone was indoors you made your way over to him, sitting criss crossed on the ground in front of where he was doing sit ups now. One rep he sat up and gave you a wide smile before disappearing again, making you giggle, next rep his eyes flicked over to the door, third rep he came up and grabbed your cheeks, relaxing his form as he pulled your face to his, hesitating for only a moment before firmly planting his lips on yours. Once again he kept it pg but it still felt like heaven on earth. You giggled as you pulled away, feeling like a teenager who had just had her first kiss, you couldn’t help but feel that this is how it would always be with Lewis.

“So what did I hear? Are we headed down to the beach?” He asked, keeping his face rather close to yours, closer than it should be for a friend.

“Yeah, I was just coming over to tell you.” You say, blatantly lying as to why you had approached him.

“Mmmhmmm…” He smirked, catching your lie in an instant.

“Okay, maybe not.” You admitted, leaning in to peck his lips once more. He didn’t let that happen though as he made sure you stayed in place much longer than you had intended, not that you minded in the least bit. 

“I should go shower then.” He mumbled as he finally pulled away, moving to stand

“There’s no point, just go jump in the ocean.” You said, making him stay seated in front of you.

“I’m beginning to think that you like me when I’m sweaty,” He smirked before leaning in to place a kiss to your jaw, “and I have to say, I can think of a few ways you could help me work up a sweat.”

You felt your cheeks heat up in an instant, trying to push away the mental images of him above you, his chest glistening. You knew he could tell just how he had affected you when you saw the look on his face when he pulled away.

“Well, I guess I’ll just go put on some trunks then.” He said with a wink as he finally got up to his feet, you not having any ability to stop him right now.

Looking up at him from your spot on the ground as he stood above you had a whole new slew of thoughts rushing through your head. You were a horny mess. The smirk on his face was all knowing and you wanted desperately to wipe it off his face, but there was no use, he was dead on.

You made sure to stay behind and wait for Lewis, who had ended up insisting on showering, as everyone else made their way down to the beach. You were at the kitchen island, scrolling through your phone, when he finally came out. You were wearing one of your bikinis, one you had worn already on the trip, back when he and Miles had tried to teach you to surf. His hands were on your waist before you even knew he was in the room. 

“Waiting for me, beautiful?” His head was nuzzled into your neck, not trying anything, just enjoying the closeness.

You lightly pushed him away, spinning on the stool to face him. On instinct you widened your legs, allowing him to step between them so he could be closer to you, bad idea. Your breath hitched when you realized what you had just done, feeling him just brush up against you. You could tell that he wasn’t trying to grind against you or anything, it was just a casualty of trying to get closer to you, but that didn’t make it affect you any less.

“Um, yeah, wanted to walk down with you.” You half mumble, your brain jumbled.

He smiled softly, “Everyone gone?”

All you could do was nod.

“Good.” He let out a heavy breath, pulling your cheeks to press your lips together.

He was slightly more explorative this time and you didn’t mind in the slightest. The kiss was nothing like the first time he had kissed you, messy and open mouthed, but he slightly toyed with your bottom lip, running his tongue along it gently. You ever so slightly opened your mouth, allowing him the small bit of access he so desperately wanted. Nothing but the tips of your tongues met, ever so slightly dancing across each other as you both tested the waters. When he finally pulled away he made sure to leave multiple pecks to your lips, leaving you happily satisfied yet still wanting more. You weren’t quite sure anything would ever be enough with Lewis.

He stepped away, trying to discreetly adjust himself, making you laugh. He sent you a look before righting himself as if nothing had happened. He extended his hand to you, pulling you off the barstool as he intertwined his fingers with yours. Walking hand in hand with him, slightly leaning your weight against him, felt like the most natural thing in the world. You couldn’t help but admire him, almost tripping a few times on your way down the path, making him chuckle. With a towel slung over one shoulder, his swim trunks low on his hips, and a dark pair of sunglasses perched on his nose, he looked perfect, absolutely effortless.

You had parted ways once you got to your friends, still trying your very best to stay discreet. That lasted only about a half hour, the second Lewis had decided he wanted to get in the water he was dragging you along with him. Very much like the last time, he was throwing you into the water almost immediately. His smile was wide as he watched you curse him out. As if he had forgotten that your friends were back on the beach, he grabbed you and pulled you towards where he was floating in the water. You could touch the bottom but only on your tiptoes and you could tell that he had opted to tread water, always staying active. He wrapped your legs around his hips, keeping you afloat with him.

“Well hello there.” You laughed at his sudden move.

“Hello.” He chuckled, nuzzling into your neck.

“Lew, what are you doing?” You asked semi cautiously, enjoying him but knowing that if anyone decided to sit up from their towel they would immediately see you being evidently more than friends.

“Enjoying being in the Caribbean Sea with my girl. I’m finally really enjoying vacation.” His words were slightly muffled as his lips moved against your neck.

“Babe, everyone can see us right now.” You whispered, feeling like you were trying to keep a secret even from the fish in the ocean.

He let out a content humm at the use of your pet name, placing a kiss to your throat, “We said whatever feels natural right? This feels natural. Fuck them, let’s just enjoy this.”

He pulled away, his arm readjusting its grip around your waist. You could feel the strength in his muscles and it made your stomach clench, thinking about him holding you in so many other ways. You just stared at him for a moment, contemplating everything.

“Do you want me to stop?” He asked sincerely, noticing the torn look on your face.

You thought about it for only a moment longer, deciding being in his arms was much too good to waste in order to keep a secret, “Nope, you’re right, fuck ‘em.”

His smile was wide as you let yourself truly wrap your arms around his neck, leaning in to place a kiss against his smile. He could barely kiss you back, too happy to use his mouth for anything but the biggest grin you could imagine.

“I’m really happy.” You whispered to him, only a few centimeters from his lips.

“I am too baby, I am too.” He shook his head almost in disbelief.

You have no idea how long the two of you spent bobbing around in the water, but it was long enough that your friends had either gotten sick of the sun or sick of the PDA, possibly both.

“Hey,” Miles yelled, “we’re headed to the house, you guys coming or are you gonna keep fucking eachother in the ocean?”

You laughed, hiding your face in Lewis’ shoulder as he flipped Miles off. You were rather surprised at how casual Miles seemed about it, maybe he was expecting it, maybe he had known how Lewis felt longer than you had, regardless you were grateful that it didn’t seem like a big deal.

“Be up soon.” Lewis yelled back, Miles returning his one finger salute.

You stayed wrapped around each other only a little while longer as you enjoyed the serenity of being with your person in the most beautiful of places. No talking was needed as you basked in the sound of nature and peace surrounding you. Your heart felt whole, in a way it hadn’t in quite some time. You were shocked at how quickly you had fallen into a new cycle with Lewis, but you didn’t mind one bit.

. . . 

“I swear to god if I have to hear you two fuck, I might lose my shit.” Miles said, his face showing nothing but seriousness as you and Lewis both burst out laughing.

After you had made your way back to the house, Lewis had thrown caution to the wind, promptly pulling you down into his lap as you came out onto the patio after changing. You hadn’t fought him on it, equally as content as he was and fully aware everyone had already seen you in the water. The only problem was now they were close enough to tease you. The second Charlotte saw him do it she squealed.

“Ah please tell me my two favorite people have finally realized that they need to get married and have kids?” She had clapped, her voice shrill with excitement.

“Woah, slow down there Char’, she became my girlfriend yesterday, give us a damn minute.” Lewis had chuckled, seemingly somewhat prepared for Charlotte's antics.

“Hey now, two favorite people?” Miles had complained, giving Charlotte a playfully offended look.

“Okay sorry, two of my favorite people.” She corrected herself, rolling her eyes.

“I’m just worried I’m never gonna see you two again, gonna be far too obsessed with each other to ever see the light of day again. Also hold up, girlfriend?” Miles had carried on.

“You speaking from experience?” Steph teased him, “Is Lewis that good?”

“Oh fuck off,” He didn’t even look at her, opting to flip her off instead, “but seriously, girlfriend?” He looked at you.

You just nodded, shyly, “He wore me down, he can be quite persuasive.”

“I’m just shocked because the last time I saw you two really interact, I’m pretty sure you wanted to either cut his dick off or punch him in the face.” Miles laughs.

“Oh I did, but we talked… a lot.” You laugh, not wanting to really go into much detail.

Somehow Lewis manages to get the conversation away from your relationship status and you silently thank him, not in the mood for some big hoopla and discussion about your feelings. As everyone chatters on around you the evening quickly turns to night and people begin to bid their goodnights. With only a few people left on the patio, you do the same, whispering to Lewis before announcing it to the group. When you get to your room, you realize that you quite wish you had given him a kiss before you left, too shy to do it infront of everyone just yet. You sit on your bed in your pajamas, waiting to hear him head to his room. Finally you hear his voice in the hall, making you move to try to sneakily follow him to his room. You don’t hear anyone else in the hall so you make a run for it. You feel like a boarding school student breaking curfew with the way that you run on your tiptoes over to his doorway, knocking ever so softly.

“Yeah?” His voice is louder than you would have liked.

Instead of waiting for further permission, you gently ease his door open, slipping in quickly and softly shutting it behind you. He’s in the middle of taking off the sweatshirt he had put on earlier in the night, his t-shirt riding up as he does so, putting his abs wonderfully on display.

“Hello you.” He smirks when he finally sees you.

“Sorry.” You mumble, suddenly embarrassed that you just snuck into his room for a silly goodnight kiss after only dating the man for a day.

For some reason your brain is on a different level than your relationship technically is, you feel like you’ve been together for months, years even. It’s exactly what he was talking about, he’s been acting as your boyfriend for some time but now you finally have the intimacy you had secretly dreamed of.

“Don’t be sorry,” He smiles, approaching you to place his hands on your hips, “I too was thinking I needed to come steal a kiss before bed.” He puts your mind at ease, pressing his lips to yours softly.

You find yourself deepening the kiss, his soft manner not being enough for you. You wrap your arms around his neck, pressing yourself against his firm torso. He’s more than welcoming, wrapping his arms around you tightly, pulling you against him even harder than before. You take the lead this time, licking against his mouth. It takes him barely a second to respond, letting your tongue explore his mouth, his moving in sync against yours. When he groans into the kiss you can’t help but try to pull him even closer to you. He leans you against the door you had just snuck in through, his hands gravitating down towards your ass. You don’t stop him, nothing could possibly make you stop him in that moment. His large hands rest carefully atop your ass, not wanting to cross anymore of a boundary than he already is. You try to give him more permission, pressing your hips against his as you do your very best not to break from his lips that are growing hungrier by the second. The heat of his body and the lack of oxygen from the kiss are making you lightheaded, you need him, so much more than you could have ever imagined. You throw your demands out the window, fuck taking it slow, you needed to take him now.

He feels you press your hips against him, taking the hint and finally properly grabbing your ass, greedy handfuls in his large palms. He groans again and the sound goes straight to your core. You bring one of your legs up around his waist, hoping he gets the hint fully, and does he ever. Within moments he’s moving his hands to your thighs, beckoning for you to jump up so your legs are wrapped firmly around his waist. Finally he properly presses himself against you, his lips moving down to your jaw and trailing down your neck. It feels just as good as it did the first time you felt him do just this, but this time it’s even better, because you know you won’t be stopping him this time. He nibbles ever so slightly making you whimper. It’s the first proper sound he’s gotten out of you and he is immediately on a mission for more.

“Fuck, baby, do you want this? Are you sure?” He is so out of breath as he asks the question but his voice is serious, he’s not fucking it up again.

“Yes Lew, so much, I need you, please.” You rush out, your voice already an embarrassing whine. If you weren’t so needy in that moment, you might find it in you to care, but all you care about is getting him exactly how you want him.

The second he hears your words he’s latching his lips back onto your throat and carrying you over to his bed. The grace with which he puts you down surprises you, you half expected to be thrown like a ball. His hands move under your pajama shirt, immediately finding your breast completely bare. His thumb brushes over your sensitive nipple, making you gasp. His lips find yours once again, his hands roaming every inch of your body they can reach, yours doing the same to him. You fumble to try and take his shirt off, making him chuckle as he pulls away to do it for you, him swiftly ridding you of your shirt as well. He pauses for a moment, his eyes locked to your chest and the hungry stare makes you want to cover up. As if he can tell he leans down, placing his lips across every inch of bare skin he can before latching his lips around one of your nipples. You can’t help but arch into him, feeling his smile against your chest as you do so. You let your hands wander the smooth skin of his back, feeling how his muscles flex as he adjusts himself to kiss a trail down your torso. When he reaches your waistband his eyes flick up to yours, silently asking if he can carry on.

“Please.” You sigh out, needing some sort of relief from how ridiculously worked up you are in that moment.

That's all he needs to hear before he’s pulling down your sleep shorts and your undies in one swift motion. Once you're bare, his eyes lock onto your heat, in a much similar way to how they did your chest earlier.

“So fucking perfect.” He says under his breath, his thumb moving to ever so slightly brush against your hip, making you squirm.

Finally his thumb makes its way to the bundle of nerves that are throbbing with desperation. His touch is so light you can barely feel it but it makes your hips buck up towards him. He takes that as a good sign, applying more pressure as he finally starts to move in tantalizing circles, the rest of his hand resting on your pubis.

“So wet, so ready, my god,” He mumbles as if to himself before speaking up, his voice raspy with lust, “Can I taste you baby? Been dying to for so long.”

“Oh my god, please.” You feel like you could cry from just how turned on you are.

The first flick of his tongue is teasing, nothing even close to what you’re in the mood for, you buck your hips up towards him, hoping he takes the hint. He immediately dives in, no room for teasing and taunting left. His head between your thighs is something you never anticipated witnessing, but now its all you ever want to see. He wastes no time in latching his mouth onto your sensitive nerves, making you cry out. His tongue laps in the most perfect rhythm that your positive nothing will ever be as satisfying again. His tongue travels everywhere and anywhere, searching for your most sensitive spots. He makes his journey further down, the strong muscle of his tongue teasing at your entrance, you gasp as you feel him push just the tip in, his nose coming down to meet your clit. He quickly begins fucking you with his tongue as he gently moves his head, creating just enough friction with the tip of his nose to have you a whimpering mess. You feel yourself starting to tense up, never having come so quick with any of your partners. He can feel it too. He quickly replaces his tongue with two thick fingers, his mouth coming up to suck your clit directly into his mouth.

“There ya’ go, give it to me pretty girl, let me see how good you look when you come. You taste so fucking good, never gonna get enough.” You look down to see his eyes locked directly on yours. You can see his bicep flexing with the movements he’s making inside of you and that combination has you coming undone, harder than you ever have before. All you can do is moan his name, you have no idea how loud you’re being but you truly couldn’t care less, the way he’s making you feel is second to none. You can feel his smirk as he works you down from your orgasm slowly, making sure you feel every ounce of it.

Before he’s even able to make his way all the way up your body, you’re reaching for the button of his pants. You need to feel him, and you need to feel him now.

“All in good time sweetheart.” He giggles, placing a soft kiss to your lips.

You can feel the dampness in his beard, his lips slick. He steps away from you, making you whine.

“So needy, give me a second and I’ll give you everything you need.” He teases you as he walks over to his bag. He grabs a condom and you can’t help but be grateful he at least has half a mind right now, you were ready to take him raw if it meant you could have him.

He finally lets you undo his pants, pushing them down along with his briefs. What you’re met with has your eyes going wide. He’s much larger than you could have even imagined. The thick vein running up his shaft looks lickable and you almost do exactly that before he’s laying you back once more, rolling the condom on.

“I’ll go slow, I promise.” He whispers reassuringly, evidently having caught your initial reaction.

When you feel the blunt tip press against you, you begin to rethink everything, there is absolutely no way you’ll be able to take him. He begins to ease into you slowly and it's the most indescribable feeling. You feel like you’re being split in two and put back together all at once. He somehow feels like an intrusion and your missing piece.

“Lew” You whimper out, clinging to him for dear life.

“Almost there baby, almost there,” His voice is soothing in your ear but you can hear the tension as he feels you for the first time, “you’re doing so good, so proud of you.”

The second he bottoms out, it's as if time has stopped. The two of you both let out deep groans, reveling in the feeling of finally being fully connected. Slowly the burning stretch turns into indescribable satisfaction. It feels like he was meant to be inside of you, the missing piece to the puzzle of your body. He stays still, letting you adjust to him as he peppers you with kisses. You can feel the tension in his shoulders, desperate to move, chase the high you’re both so desperate for. You don’t know how you find it in you but you wrap your legs around his hips, pulling him closer and hoping he takes the hint that you need him to move just as much as he needs it. Slowly he pulls out of you, only half way, before burying himself in you again. He hits the perfect spot, making your toes clench with only one thrust. The groan he lets out is pornagraphic and you fight to make yourself look at him. The sight above you is what dreams are made of as he slowly starts to build a pace, testing the waters with what you like, evidently aiming to make sure you’re feeling just as good as he is. His lips are parted as if they’re ready to let out a moan at any given moment, his brow is furrowed in pleasure and concentration, his lust filled eyes boring down into yours.

“Fuck baby, you feel unreal.” He half groans, dropping his head into the crook of your neck, tracing his lips over the sensitive skin.

“Fuck, Lew, more please.” You run your nails gently down his back, making him shiver.

“You want more?” His voice is taunting, challenging.

“Fuuuuck.” You draw out as his hips pick up their pace.

He brings one of his arms to rest on the headboard as he leverages himself to put more power behind his thrusts. All words have left your mind, your mouth open in a constant gasp, no sound capable of escaping you any longer. He takes one of your legs, resting it over his shoulder as he pushes himself down on to you, his body weight suffocating in the best way. Somehow he’s even deeper this way and it makes you whimper, the tension mounting in your belly. You can tell you're almost there. His grunts and groans have quickly become your new favorite soundtrack as they edge you closer and closer to your release. His hips have picked up their pace even more and you can feel yourself teetering on the edge. When his hand slips down to toy with your clit you find yourself letting out a moan much louder than you should have. He brings his lips to yours, attempting to quiet you. This kiss is useless, just two open mouths, sharing each others sounds of pleasure.

“Fuck I love you.” He breathes out, you can tell he didn’t mean to say it but the second you hear it you need to hear it a million more times. Your stomach tightening at the phrase falling from his lips

“Say it again.” You just about whine.

He hesitates for a moment, his hips faltering before finding his pace again, “I love you.” This time with much more conviction.

“Again.” You moan, so close to your high.

“Fuck Y/N, I love you, I love you, so fucking much.” He rambles, connecting your lips when he feels you reach your peak.

You’re not prepared, it crashes over you like a tsunami, you tighten around him so hard he struggles to move, to fuck you through it. You’re beyond grateful that he’s as determined as he is because he keeps you at your peak longer than you even knew possible, your vision blurring and your ears ringing. You feel him tense, uncoordinated thrusts as he finally spills into the condom. His breathing is hard as he collapses against you like the best weighted blanket imaginable. He’s pressing soft kisses to your throat as you do your best to come back to earth. You can feel him slowly softening inside of you and it just feels right, the two of you being connected.

"So much for taking it slow, hmm?" His voice is tired but teasing.

"Oh fuck off." Is the first thing you say to him as you come back into yourself, making him chuckle

It takes him a few moments before he disconnects from you, much to your dismay, wincing as he pulls out.

“M’sorry, one second.” He says softly, pecking your lips before moving to discard the condom and get you a rag.

He cleans you with such care, so gentle, you feel your heart lurch. It’s rare that you’ve been with a guy who takes such care afterwards. When he’s finally done he joins you back in bed, moving you both under the covers.

“No arguments, you’re staying right here.” He mumbles before you can object and try to go back to your own room, which you assume will no longer be needed.

“Hey Lewis?” You prompt hesitantly as he pulls you against his chest, hiking your leg up over his hips.

“I meant it, have for so long it hurts.” He answers you without you even having to ask, knowing what you’re questioning.

You lift your head to meet his, looking at him through the pale moonlight flooding the room.

“I love you too.” You whisper before leaning it to meet his lips.

"Say it again." He mumbles against your lips, a smile spreading across both of your faces as he mimics your words from earlier.

"I love you so fucking much Lewis Hamilton." You giggle as he pulls you impossibly close to him, latching his lips on to yours.

You don’t know how long you stay there kissing him but you’re not sure you disconnected before you fell asleep. All you know is that as you lay there, enjoying his affection, you knew you had made the right decision. You will never lose Lewis and now you have the rest of your life to enjoy a whole new journey with him.

[slash-me-please]

I am sure your tired of writing for Amanda by now but your the only person I could find that’s willing to write for her and is actually good at it 😭 spare me i’m desperate and don’t know how too request but could you do a imagine with Dom!Amanda and shes really protective over reader to the point where it’s kind of toxic, she finds out who readers shitty ex girlfriend is and does anything and everything to show the said ex that reader is hers now like: showing up at her place of work with reader, making out in front of her, really touchy, whispering dirty stuff so the ex can hear, etc. Just some examples. You can pick whether reader is fem or gender neutral it doesn’t matter to me :)

On another note: Thank you for your service🫡 I love your writing so much.

you said dom!Amanda therefore you are getting smut i am so sorry to force this on you. :) not really love u.

A/N: Sorry about the wait!! I got caught up on bills today and have been working full time and also doing schoolwork. Luckily I paid my rent + electric so i have some free time!!!

Warnings: Revenge sex trope, voyeurism/exhibitionism, bondage/shibari, fighting, jealousy, dub!con, reader being an absolute asshole, murder, use of vibrator.

Pressing your fingers against the loose fabric of a dress, your lips held in a thin line. The needle pressed through the fabric, and back again. You were focused on your work, a nice sheer fabric for a nightdress you had been working on for a while. You were a tailor for a small business which made custom handmade dresses, one of the best tailors of the six of you.

The office you worked at was small, just like the business. The six of you crowded into a medium sized room. Your boss had created you a small section to yourself, as she insisted on making you employee of the month. So you pressed your hands against the fabric, the slow push and pull of your hands against the machine kept you in a trance. You had loved your job once, and while you enjoyed what you did- there was one downside.

Her. The problem. The reason you got into fights with your girlfriend every night this week.

As you pieced together your nightdress, across from you your ex watched- eyes wide and focused on your hands. You wanted to say something, you wanted to complain. Anything. But you never did, instead opting to do your job.

"L/N!" You flinched, hand jerking forward and pinching your finger in the machine. You yelped, pulling backwards and cradling your finger against your chest. "Look what you did!" The familiar voice of your lover rang through your ears, and you felt yourself turning to look. She was barreling towards you, eyes focused on your boss, who had yelled your last name. She seemed angry, reaching foward to hold you against her stomach.

Amanda placed a brown paper bag on your table, freeing her hands to examine your finger under her "Professional" gaze. She seemed almost content for a moment, eyes narrowed in on yours. "It's just a nick, but i'll fucking murder that ratty-bastard if you want." Your head shook back and forth, eyes widened with shock. "I'm not sure that's necessary!" You whispered, turning away from her to move back to your dress. "What are you doing here Amanda?" She sighed, the back of her hand hitting the paper bag. "I brought you lunch,"

"I might be too busy eating out Jenny to get to that, sorry." You snapped, turning your head away from her. "Fucking look at her, she's fucking you with her eyes. I don't know why you're acting like you can't see that." Amanda snapped back, her arms crossing against her chest. "It doesn't matter what she thinks about me. I told you I only want you! Why does it matter if she's looking at me?" Amanda released a sigh again. "It's about respect, I don't understand why you allow her to do that." You felt your face begin to heat up, beyond aggravated with the entire situation. "She's just not even worth the fucking air! I'm sorry you're too insecure to let it go!"

You only began to feel bad when her face fell and she turned on her heel and out towards the parking lot, but you didn't dare follow her.

You can end here, or read this fucked up smut.

Vision static and dizzy, you wobbled in the chair you were tied to. The last thing you remember was getting home and your lover reaching her hand around your mouth and nose to suffocate you with a damp rag. Your throat felt dry and sore, as if you'd been yelling but you knew that you hadn't. Amanda got like this sometimes, but you knew this time was your fault.

It looked like you were in an abandoned garage, the lights were cool and flickering. You were propped on a chair, both legs tied with a spiral futomomo tie and kept apart with a spreader. You were entirely naked, and bare to the garage.

And your ex.

There sat Jenny, her eyes wide as she stared at your bare form with an underlying lust beneath that fear. Her mouth was ducktaped shut and she was chained to the chair by her ankles and wrists. You squirmed beneath her gaze, whining out for Amanda. A few moments later she made her entrance, yanking off the worn pigs mask. She glared at you with an anger you'd only seen a few times. Goosebumps erupted onto your skin.

"I'm sorry, can you let me out?" You plead, and she frowns. "Don't act like you don't deserve what you're going to get."

She made her way behind you, and you heard her shuffling a few items around. You thought for a moment that maybe she had a table back behind you, but she left you no time to dwell when you felt a cold hand grasp your shoulder.

"Tell me, Love." Amanda took a deep, shuddering breath. "Do you like her eyes on you?" You whined, head craning back to look at her and deny the accusation. "I only want you baby, I promised!" Your pleading did not phase her, she only reached into your hair and yanked your head forward. Your eyes made contact with Jenny's and she watched as Amanda's hand flicked on a vibrator and licked it.

"I want you to watch, let me show you what's fucking mine."

And with those words, she hunched over you and placed the vibrator over your clit. Your head threw back, and you yelped. "Goddammit!" Your legs shuddered against your restraints, pulling against them with a pain. "Please!" Amanda laughed, her eyes trained downwards as she watched your sex shudder against the silicone head of her vibrator. "Good girl..." She whispered into your cheek, placing a cruel kiss on your skin. Your voice wobbled, back arching as you pressed yourself impossibly closer to the source of your pleasure.

Across from you, Jenny watched, cheeks flushed and eyes dilated. Her legs rubbed together as she watched Amanda rub the toy against your clit. She treated you generously, her other hand snaking down to your throat to give it a squeeze as she upped the setting on her toy. You keened loudly, hands balling into fists as you chanted her name.

"You like this? All I had to do was force you to show her who you belonged to?" She sneered, pushing the vibrator lower. She let it sink into your hole, and she began to lightly thrust it inside of you. "God!" You cried, mouth hanging open as your climax ran up to you. "I'm so close!"

Amanda snickered, glancing up to watch Jenny stare between your legs.

Her mouth twisted into something angry, her other hand reaching down to rub your clit in circles. You flailed against her ministrations, mouth open in a wail which could not be contained. Finally, you came against her hands, legs quivering as you soaked her hands and the toy, the rest of your cum wetting the concrete floor beneath you. With that, she flicked the vibrator off and placed it back on the table, grabbing something sharper.

"Did you enjoy the show, Jenny?" You heard her breathe. You heard her walk back behind you, her hand yanking your head backwards. "Love you..." You gasped, picking your head up to give her a kiss. She nodded, fingers releasing your hair. That is when she walked past you, flipping a hunting knife around in her hand. "It'll be the last one you'll ever see."

Jenny began to push against her restraints, shaking her head no and yelling pleas. None of which appealed to Amanda, instead the smooth twist of her wrist pushing the blade into her abdomen and then actively gutting her appealed way more.

You watched the life leave her eyes and you sighed, making eye contact with Amanda and biting your lip.

"Are you done?"

She dropped to her knees, crawling forward to attach her lips to your cunt.

[wanderinghedgehog]

Another high school Les Mis. Live reaction:

Oooo they got actors in the aisles. I like that.

Good singing so far.

This Javert seems oddly timid. Like even as a prison guard, he’s not especially scary. He does seems to be rather tall though.

Valjean seems good. I wish they let him sing that one verse from his soliloquy but, alas, it’s cut from the school versions.

This ensemble seems more coordinated than others I’ve seen. That might be because there’s not quite so many of them. This doesn’t seem like a very large cast for a Les Mis production.

Fantine is very sweet and her voice is lovely.

I like that her dress is decently period accurate. They gave her a modesty cloth and everything.

She also doesn’t seem to have a jarringly awful wig like usual.

I think they brought Javert in a little early during Fantine’s arrest. It was a little odd.

There’s some guy in the ensemble with a lovely red waistcoat.

Amazing runaway cart scene. Javert was so embarrassed on “forgive me sir I would dare” that he tried to just leave. He did skip a line though. But I’ll forgive :)

Valjean putting his heart and soul into Who Am I.

Awwwww they gave Champmathieu a friend or something who gave him a hug when he was let go. I like that they didn’t just leave him to stand there.

FANTIIIIIIINE 😭😭😭😭😭😭

HOLY SHIT THE CONFRONTATION WAS AMAZING!!!!! Okay the last fight section was a bit disappointing, but the rest of it was fucking phenomenal. I’m screaming! Javert was such a fucking drama queen too. Fantastic.

Lil’ Cosette :)

I think this Madame T could do to spice up her vocals a little. She sounds a little too pretty maybe. Go nuts, babe!

Red waistcoat guy is back!!!!

This Thenardier couple is kinda all over each other. It’s goofy

Don’t throw the child!!!!!

I love this stage setup. Very versatile.

Living for these background actors.

Eponine should keep Marius’s hat. It’s a good look.

They need to stop making Javert show up from one of the side entrances. It’s awkward staging.

Thernardier gets all obnoxious during “in the absence of a victim…” and Javert just lightly shoved him. I’m dead. You really just have to see it.

This Javert is kinda… doing to much I guess. He just doesn’t show quite enough restraint in my opinion.

Stars was cute. He could’ve done more on the line “and so it must be.” But it was good otherwise.

This Grantaire has stolen my heart. Adorable guy.

I can’t see very clearly, but there’s a pattern on the front of Enjolras’s waistcoat and I thought it was leopard print for a second.

IS THAT FANTINE’S ACTOR AGAIN??????? Or does Cosette just look something like her?

Marius should’ve hopped over the gate. It’s really low anyway.

This Marius is so damn pale. Ghost fella

Eponine pushed three people consecutively. Go girl!

THENARDIERS IN THE FLOOR

This Gavroche is absolutely adorable. I just know I’m gonna go catatonic when he’s killed.

Still no “shoot me now or shoot me later.” I like that line :(

EPONINE NOOO

Bestie Valjean has returned to the plot :)

Damn look at all that smoke.

Javert is back to being oddly timid. I feel kinda bad for him this time. He has such a sad look.

Nice little Drink With Me moment :)

Bring him hooooooooooooooome

AAAAAAAAAA GAVROCHE NOOOOOO

Seriously that kid was fantastic

That’s a nice tablueo

Go in the floor

Really dragging Marius around. Ouch.

two four six oh ooooooooone

Little line fuck up BUT WE FORGIVE AND MOVE ON

That jump was pretty smooth. I approve.

That was a damn good rendition.

Good harmonies in Turning.

Damn. They really put people in those empty chairs at the empty tables and then took them away again.

Cane time for Valjean.

Bishop actor spotted at the wedding.

Saddest onstage punch ever. Sorry Marius.

Is Madame T holding a real little dog? I can’t see very well.

Old man Valjean.

I think that wicker wheelchair he’s in is being loud.

Oh my god they are different actresses. Do they just have the same hairstyle? I might be a little face blind.

Yes! Actors in the aisles!

I think that’s a Javert in the finale!

Final thoughts:

Standout performance was a Gavroche. That child was brilliant so very cute. I hope he keeps doing theater.

All the singing was wonderful.

Things ran very smoothly which is impressive for any high school production.

As always, the show suffers from the amount of lines that are cut. But that’s definitely not the fault of this production.

In some ways, it was too good. Maybe it was just too traditional. I often watch school productions for the weirdness and interesting choices, but they just didn’t really take anything all that far in this production.

I loved that they had an extra bit of stage in front of the orchestra pit. That really gave a set some extra pizzazz.

I called this Javert “cute” too many times. Not sure why. I just thought this actor looked oddly sweet. Not especially intimidating I guess.

Valjean really put his all into this and he gave a fantastic performance. I just need him to get weirder with it.

I’m so sorry to Fantine and Cosette’s actors for thinking they were the same person.

[londondziban]

Shears

Trans Regulus microfic ft. the Black brothers + background Jegulus. 1,058 words. or, Sirius helps Regulus with his first proper haircut :)

Edit from beyond the grave: I uploaded it to my ao3! (<-linked for convenience) Feel free to pop on over there at your leisure, or just read it below :)

Regulus watches the first clump of long, dark curls fall to the bathroom floor. He tracks it as it moves through the air, hitting the tile softly, noiselessly–it’s all too quiet of an action for something that has such a big impact.

“Right, Reggie, how are you feeling?” Sirius asks, his tone cheery yet genuine.

If Regulus is honest, he’s elated. He didn’t know something as simple as cutting his hair could feel so…right? Sirius has barely cut off any of Regulus’ hair, yet Regulus can’t even begin to describe the amount of emotions currently swirling around in him.

Regulus hums in response to his brother–it’s not really an answer, but it’s the most he can manage. 

Sirius takes it in stride, simply humming back as he picks up another section of Regulus’ hair.

They sit in silence for a while and Regulus closes his eyes, listening to the quiet snip-snip of the shears as Sirius hacks away at the length of his hair with steady hands. It’s honestly the most careful and conscious Regulus has ever seen his brother act–though he’s approached everything relating to this topic with care since Regulus first confided in him about it.

“Do you remember the first time our mother forced me to cut all my hair off?” 

Regulus pauses for a moment, searching through memories to find the time Sirius is referring to–it shouldn’t be as difficult as it is to find the memory, but he generally doesn’t reflect much on their younger years anymore.

Regulus hums again once he finds the memory. “I recall you screaming like a banshee when she pulled the shears out.”

Sirius huffs a soft laugh, continuing to carefully snip away at Regulus’ hair. “Oh yeah, it was an absolute mess. She couldn’t get me to stay still enough for the cut, so my hair came out all choppy and uneven. Majorly backfired on her, I’d say.”

Regulus snorts. “It’s a wonder she kept cutting it after that; that haircut was dreadful.”

“And yet you were still jealous of it,” Sirius retorts lightly, the humor evident in his voice.

Regulus’ eyes fly open, immediately defensive. “I was not–”

“No, no you definitely were, Reggie.” Regulus can feel the shears waver in his brother’s grip as his body shakes with laughter. 

“Oi! Don’t fuck up my hair!”

“I’m not going to fuck up your hair, calm down,” Sirius huffs. “Besides, a shit haircut is all a part of being a boy–we all have one at one point.”

Regulus squints his eyes at the wall in front of him. “Yes, well I’d like to avoid that since I have to show up to work tomorrow.”

Sirius snorts in response as if to communicate that he understands, and Regulus supposes he does. 

The pile of black curls on the floor grows with each passing moment, more hair falling from Regulus’ head to the cold tile below as Sirius hums merrily behind him.

As always, it’s Sirius who breaks their silence. 

“I was always so jealous of your hair,” Sirius admits quietly.

Regulus blinks in surprise. “You were? Why?”

“I just always thought your long hair was so cool. I hated my short hair; I wanted my hair long but I wasn’t allowed to grow it out,” Sirius mutters. “I was a little bitter about it for a while if I’m honest.”

Regulus is quiet for a moment as he lets Sirius’ words sink in, then he snorts. “Bit ironic, innit? I wanted to be able to have short hair like you while you wanted to have long hair like me.”

Sirius barks a dry laugh. “Oh yeah, absolutely hilarious.” 

Regulus’ phone buzzes in his lap and his eyes dart down to the screen as it lights up with a text. Against his will, a small smile breaks out across his face.

“James?” Sirius asks, his smile shining through his voice.

“Piss off,” Regulus shoots back reflexively. Then, after a moment of stubborn silence, he grumbles a confirmation that it was, in fact, James who texted him.  

“He’s bitter he has to be at work rather than here?” Sirius asks, his tone all too knowing.

“I swear he’s more excited about this haircut than I am,” Regulus replies, rolling his eyes despite the fondness that floods every inch of him at the thought. 

Sirius snorts. “I’d reckon it’s less to do with the haircut and more to do with wanting to see you happy.”

Regulus just hums in response and closes his eyes again, letting the quiet get filled with the sharp sounds of the shears. He knows James is just excited for Regulus to be happy–to feel more himself. He’s been lovely about all of it, every step of the way, and though Regulus wasn’t necessarily worried he wouldn’t be, it’s just really nice to receive so much unconditional love and support.

Regulus honestly isn’t sure which of them two gets happier when James refers to Regulus as his boyfriend.

“Alright, you little shit,” Sirius announces, setting the shears down on the counter, “it’s time to appreciate all my hard work.”

Regulus shoots up to move toward the mirror, freezing in his tracks as he makes eye contact with his reflection.

His hair is the shortest it’s ever been–dark curls falling off his forehead and gently framing the sides of his face. Ridiculous as it is, Regulus can feel his eyes start to water as he just admires himself.

Sirius moves to stand behind him, staring at their reflections fondly with his arms crossed. “Look at you! I’m practically an artist.”

Regulus lets out a choked laugh, a couple of tears breaking free as he looks at the both of them in the mirror. “Mother would have a heart attack if she saw us now.”

“So what I’m hearing is you absolutely love it!” Sirius says, giddy and proud as Regulus nods his head in affirmation. Then, Regulus watches as Sirius slowly flashes his mischievous grin, baring his teeth wide as his eyes sparkle with undeniable humor. “Yeah, it looks great, Reggie. You know, I’m sure James will love it too! It’s honestly the perfect length for him to grab–”

Sirius cuts himself off with a yelp, practically sprinting out of the bathroom. He should really know not to provoke someone with easy access to a pair of shears.

[miastideclock]

a year with bang chan, "april 17th."

word count: 687 warnings: not edited notes: funnily enough, this is the first one i've posted on the right day lmao

january 2nd ⁺₊ february 14th ⁺₊ march 2nd ⁺₊ april 17th ⁺₊ may 30th ⁺₊ june 4th ⁺₊ july 14th ⁺₊ august 1st ⁺₊ september 12th ⁺₊ october 3rd ⁺₊ november 1st ⁺₊ december 31st

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆

int. outside at a zoo. noon.

“oh my god, look at those two!” chan practically squealed as he raised his hand to point at the two baby elephants that were stood in the pond they had in their enclosure. the two calves were filling their trunks with water, only to spray each other with it and running after each other.

“i didn’t realise visiting the zoo would be so similar to going to your dorms.” you snickered, just barely dodging the push that came from your boyfriend as his aussie came through with a playful ‘oi!’

you laughed at his reaction, but let him grab your hand despite his faux pout. he found it impossible to keep up the upset demeanour and a massive smile had soon found its way back on his face. “where to next?” you asked him as you stopped to look at a map of the zoo.

“the gift shop is right by the food court, so maybe stop there, grab something to eat, and then continue on to this section over here?” he suggested, pointing all over the map as he spoke. it sounded good to you, so you were soon sat in the food court, having lunch as you spoke about everything and nothing all at the same time.

next thing you knew you were in the gift shop, doubled over in tears from laughing. the two of you had found matching monkey-hats, and put them on as a joke. it was ‘couples’ hats, so when you stood next to each other, the monkeys on the hats were stretched out for one another, trying to kiss. you didn’t even have to say anything for chan to take the hats off of your heads and go to the register to buy them.

as you walked around holding hands, with those god-awful hats snugly on your heads, a little girl had spotted you and couldn’t hold her giggles all to herself. what you assumed would be her mother, picked her up and placed the girl on her hip, apologising for her daughters behaviour. the two of you reassured her that it was absolutely fine as the hats really were laughable. the mother gave them a warm smile and moved her daughter from her hip, over to the back of a man that was stood next to them, presumably the father. as he gave her a piggyback ride, they walked off.

“isn’t it wild that one day you get picked up and put down again, for the very last time and you don’t even know?” you spoke as you moved further down the walkway surrounded by animals. this made chan halt in his step and look at you, pretty much like you were crazy.

“now, why would you say that? now i’m sad.” chan let his legs go back to moving while you chuckled at him.

“this obviously doesn��t apply to you, as you and the boys make sure you are more above ground than you are on it at this point. never once have i been to your place without witnessing at least one member of your getting picked up.” you explained, chan nodding in agreement as you spoke, seeing as you made very valid points. “so you’re fine, i however am most likely floor-bound for the rest of my life.” what you said was not meant to be taken as an invitation, but that is exactly what chan interpreted it as.

“not on my watch!” your boyfriend announced, grabbing both of your hands and turning around so his back was facing you. he then bent down slightly and used the grip he had on your hands to pull you onto his back, your legs instinctively wrapping around his hips. he let go of your arms and grabbed onto your thighs instead, readjusting you slightly so he could comfortably give you a piggyback-ride.

“you okay up there?” he asked.

“splendid.” you chuckled at him, planting a little kiss on the side of his face as you couldn’t properly reach his lips.

[quibbs126]

This is another one no one asked for, but it was one I wanted to do. They’re a bit high up on my list (though surprisingly not as high as I thought, they’re on the low end of my top 25), but I was struggling to come up with ideas and I had some for them, so I decided to do them

Originally it was just going to be one like my others, and I was going to do Choco Vine, but then I thought “oh hey, those molten lava cakes would work for a darkyam kid too”, and put that on my notes, but then I couldn’t decide which to do. Then later I was told about ube rolls and thought that would work for one too, so I was in a dilemma trying to figure out which to do. But then I thought, “why not do all three?” And so yeah, that’s what I did. Took quite a while, was working on this both today and yesterday, though I suppose that’s understandable given that there’s three of them

So Choco Vine is named after chocolate vines, aka akebi, which has a purplish flower hat smells like chocolate. It does have a fruit but I opted for the flower instead

Chocolate vine/akebi:

For Lava Fudge, he’s named after molten chocolate cakes, aka lava cakes. I don’t quite remember where the “fudge” bit came from, but I thought it worked. I chose that because chocolate, and also Purple Yam tends to be associated with fire and heat, so a “lava cake” just fits

Lava cake:

And then ube rolls are cakes made with Ube, aka purple yams. And the stripe of white reminded me of Dark Choco’s white stripes

Ube roll:

Let’s see, their designs…I’m trying to think of things to say

Okay, so Choco Vine’s hair is supposed to be like the flower, even if it doesn’t really embody the shape. The flower has these little purple bits in the middle (they look more purple in other pictures), so I just added it at the top of her hair, and it also looks like a little bow. I always envisioned Choco Vine as a little girl, but I think when I made her and all her siblings, she became slightly younger. For context she’s around 3-4. So she’s probably a lot smaller, but I can’t really indicate that without her getting too small to draw. But she’s small enough that any one of them, even Ube Roll, can pick her up with one hand. Also she has a little cardboard tube (a flimsy one) because she likes to smack literally everything in her radius, and Dark Choco and Lava Fudge thought it was the best way to make sure she doesn’t get hurt doing it, or that she cause too much damage to the things she smacks. She can upgrade to a proper weapon once she’s older and stops hitting everything

Anyways I’m bleeding into the character section, so let’s move on to Lava Fudge. So his hair is supposed to be like the molten chocolate in the center of the cake, so it’s all liquid-y. It was originally going to look more like Yam’s dreads but chocolate, but after sketching I thought of the other idea and chose that instead. I put in the red highlights because of the whole “lava” thing. Probably should have shown that more in the other colors now that I think about it. I’m not sure why I made his armor that color, but that’s what I went with. I gave him an axe because I thought it was the best compromise between Dark Choco’s greatsword and Purple Yam’s mace. Also my first time drawing an axe, I’m realizing now that I haven’t really seen any Cookies wielding axes in these games, other than Tea Knight in his other outfit, which I used as a reference for Lava Fudge. Oh and another thing I wanted to mention, so Lava Fudge is supposed to be huge, my notes call him an “absolute unit”. He’s taller than even Dark Cacao, and as you can tell, much wider, as I gave him a body type like Yam’s. He’s the first one of these I’ve made with a particularly large frame, and I think it was a good change of pace. Though I admit with the armor, it looks like he has a small waist. Not my intention

Then with Ube Roll, so despite the name her hair’s more based on Dark Choco and Dark Cacao. I also wanted to make her thinner just because I thought that I needed that variation. Also probably because I was suggested to name Violet Sugar Cookie Ube Roll, and maybe some of her design subconsciously went into her. Anyways so she’s also supposed to be a magic user, hence the book in her hand (used Prune Juice as a reference for that), and I kind of wanted to reflect that in her outfit, with it being more cloth than armor. I also thought it’d be fun to give her shoulder pads and a cape like Dark Choco, and I think I used his Young Prince Outfit as my main model. I also gave her a sword since she’d obviously still use a weapon, even if she’s learning magic, though I made it smaller since her skills aren’t entirely strength reliant. I think I might have planned to put more red in her design, but I’m fine with keeping it mostly purple, I think it looks good

Oh yeah also regarding the things on their face, none of them are scars, they’re just markings like Purple Yam. They have them elsewhere in their body too. I just assume it’s a natural thing for him and thought it would be neat to incorporate. Though I admit Choco Vine’s were a last minute addition

So now onto their characters

So I half mentioned Choco Vine’s personality already, but basically she’s a tiny child with far too much energy. She idolizes her dads and older brother and wants to be a warrior like them, hence why she tries to pretend being a warrior with her little tube. Though she may be misinterpreting the role and she just hits literally everything. If you are in her radius, steel your legs because she will swing at them, possibly more than once. Everyone just goes with it since I mean, she’s a little kid, let her have her fun. And with the flimsy tube, no one’s really getting hurt by it. She will smack her family repeatedly and it doesn’t even faze them (which is part of the reason she continues to do it, as if she saw it really did hurt them, she’d probably stop), though on occasion they’ll play along and act as if they’ve been defeated by her attacks, meaning she’s defeated the enemy

I’m also toying with the idea that Choco Vine is actually blind, and the reason she’s always hitting things with her tube is that this is her way of figuring out the world around her. Not sure if I should keep it though

Another, somewhat funny idea I had was this idea of her getting kidnapped by the Cookies of Darkness (though for this to happen there’d have to be some timeline altering, namely that Choco Vine is baked much earlier in the timeline and is already out and about within at most a couple years of the main plot of Kingdom), only for her to be their undoing as she keeps hitting them with her tube. While I said it doesn’t hurt, to be fair the people she’s likely surrounded with are those of the Dark Cacao Kingdom, where everyone has at least some warrior training and conditioning to the harsh elements; what’s a flimsy piece of cardboard going to do? With these guys though, with the exceptions of Red Velvet and probably Choco Werehound Brute, they aren’t as immune, so her constant hits to the kneecaps do genuinely hurt, and she doesn’t care if they do because they’re villains. And so by the time her parents come to the rescue, she’s basically single-handedly taken down the Cookies of Darkness. Made even worse if in her excursion in the place, she found an actual weapon (which I feel is somewhat likely), in which they would all be screwed

Oh yeah I forgot there were others to talk about, not just her. Okay then, moving on

So Lava Fudge is probably the most cautious of the family. I tried to show that with his eyes but I’m not sure that got across. If someone wants to fight, he tries to convince the other to just talk it out and not have to fight, as he’d much rather use words to avoid unnecessary fights. This also translates to him being the voice of reason amongst his siblings, even if they don’t always listen, as his main concern is that they’re all safe. The way he acts may lead you to think he’s not a very good fighter. However, this is most certainly not the case, as he is an incredibly powerful fighter, and destructive one at that. When his axe hits the ground, it splits open the earth and even lava pours out from the cracks, even in places like the Dark Cacao Kingdom. No one’s sure how he’s so powerful, but they choose not to question it too much, given his grandfather is one of the Ancient Heroes, and the one most know for physical prowess. Most likely you will not win the fight, and possibly not survive it, as he is relentless in his attacks. He just likes to be cautious because again, he wants to avoid unnecessary fights. And he just has a relatively kind heart. But also, if you hurt one of his sisters, physically or emotionally, there will be no mercy for you. I think laying it out, he’s sort of like ROTTMNT Raphael

I’m not too sure what he does, given the armor doesn’t resemble anything from the Dark Cacao Kingdom, but maybe he’s part of a guild or something, going around helping others in need

As for Ube Roll, like I said, she’s a magic user. She started out learning swords and physical fighting like the rest of her family, but she later took an interest in magic and has since been studying it. She probably studied at Parfaedia, if she doesn’t go there now. I was thinking her magic would be like, purple flames, but I’m also considering it being ice or earth based. Maybe she has multiple. However her magic doesn’t mean she won’t still use her sword if need be. She’s probably also the most socially adept of the family, given her general vibe

Sorry I don’t have too much to say about Ube Roll in company to her siblings, since they were the ones I put the most thought into

But yeah, I think that’s about it for them, and I hope you enjoy them (and can maybe also forgive me for not posting more this week)

Oh yeah, so one more thing, so I have a request for Dark Choco/Milk, and spoilers but there I’m giving them twins, since there were two very easy ideas to go with that worked together. If this trio were to be a polycule and there also be a Purple Yam/Milk kid (hopefully I’m thinking just one), than that would mean they’d have at least 6 children, dear lord

[thebigshotman]

*…WELL. I SUPPOSE THAT IS ALL OF THE TIME WE HAVE TO INTERACT WITH THE PAST FOR THE TIME BEING. I AM SURE MORE OPPORTUNITIES TO DO SO WILL PRESENT THEMSELVES…HOWEVER, MY HOLD ON THE RIFF GROWS THIN.

*I TRUST ALL OF YOU HAVE SAID EVERYTHING THAT YOU WANTED TO HIM…AND SEEN HOW BETTER OFF HE WAS BACK THEN, TOO. YOUR ATTACHMENT AS AN AUDIENCE TO A BROKEN PUPPET FASCINATES ME. TRULY.

*BUT NEVER MIND THAT FOR NOW. IN THE MEANTIME, I SHALL TAKE MY LEAVE BACK TO…ELSEWHERE, SHALL WE SAY. WE WILL MEET AGAIN SOON. FAREWELL FOR NOW.

The connection to the past is severed, the image of a rattled but still somewhat confident Spamton fading from view in a glitching swirl of purple, pink, and yellow. Through it all, distorted fragments of time stick out audibly as you are gradually returned to the present.

*Thank you!! Thank you, everyone…I’m thrilled to have been rated the number one salesman this past year!! I’d like to thank…thank…

*W-What? Don’t get cocky?? Mike, I think I can afford to be a little cocky right now-

*…Huh? Arguing with someone on the p-phone? T-Trust me, you were mishearing things! Everything’s [[100% certified]]…I-I mean, fine…what the hell was that?

*…Please. I don’t know if you can [[F1]]-Help, me, but…a Lightner made you, right? I don’t know what else to do…

*You “understand what I’m going through”?! No you don’t, ‘Delia!! Your success has never been hung on teeny tiny little [[$5.99 door hinges]] that could fall apart at any moment!! …Please, leave me alone for now. I just need to call him back…

*…Huh? What’s this little thing doing in here? Looks like…some kind of jewel…

*Mike. I know you’re there. I saw something. I saw Heaven. How do I get there?! How do I get back everything and keep my-

*WHAT [[store-wide savings are happening now!]] T0 M3?!?

*H-EY HEY, SWA[[Easels]]…IT’S…ME!! YOUR [friend request-] FRIEND, SPAMTON!! LISTEN-

*SWATCH, [[don’t leave me here!]]!!! MANAGER, QUEEN, [anyone…]!!! I’m burning!! Don’t let me—

*HA…HA…HAEAHEAHEAHEHAEHAEHAE!!! 1’LL GET THERE ONE DAY!!! I’LL G3T THAT [workout ready body] AND GET TO [Heaven] 4ND THEY’LL ALL [[you’ll be sorry~]]!!! TH3Y’LL SEE I’M ST1LL A [[BIG SHOT]]!!!! JU$T U WAIT…

There’s another manic, sped up cackle, much more like the ones you’re accustomed to, before everything goes silent and dark. And then…

The roof’s finally finished loading, separating himself from that always dark sky he hates so much. Although, lately it’s seemed just a little less oppressive. All that’s left is for the rest of the store in fix itself. Considering ruined shelves are still clipping against the ground like that were just destroyed, that could take a while…

*…[Hazelnut] HASN’T [stop on by!] T0DAY…SHE 4LWAYS DOES ON HER WAY [[homes outside the city]]…

Despite that disquieting thought, Spamton G. Spamton-occasionally known as “Spaul”-doesn’t move from the spot behind his desk. He’s back to being the broken, plastic puppet that’s familiar to you, with a glitchy voice that’s unable to properly form coherent sentences. His wide smile seems a little strained, though, and his glasses have a certain glimmer to them. He’s not moving-because what would it look like if he showed up to her job unexpectedly?-but is absolutely concerned for her.

That’s when a headache inducing pulse of garbage noise, static, and memories pangs through his head suddenly, making him throttle backwards with an uncomfortable glitch and onto the floor as a result. Knocking his systems offline as they process whatever just happened for just long enough for a certain someone to speak through him.

*…Is anyone listening? If you can hear me, please, help-

The static is forcefully booted out of his systems, and he jolts upright while rubbing his head. Everything’s fine-well, relatively, anyway-but there’s something just a little different. In his head, in his memories. A certain section of the garbage and out of tune nonsense has cleared, and it’s as if a few cherry picked moments from his past, from his height as a big shot, happened only a day ago…

He weakly turns to the audience, squinted marbles appearing in his glasses as he points at them.

*…WH4T DID YOU [[chaos enjoyers]] 0F AN [studio audience] DO TH1S TIME…??

[nyaagolor]

SWSH LIVEBLOG PART 3: GYMS 4-6

How do these keep getting longer.

The first face we see upon entering the wild area (which, by admission, is integrated quite nicely into the plot to ensure the player is taking each section on at the appropriate level) is Bede. In a way Bede feels like Pokemon’s attempts to please fans who were begging for a “mean” rival again. And it works! You as the protagonist feel great about the possibility of grinding his white ass into paste in every battle because he’s comically evil levels of mean and that makes him deserve it somehow. But this battle against Hop, while fantastic for HOP’S development, doesn’t really feel especially relevant to Bede. He’s just an asshole completely unprovoked, and while he does put Hop on blast in his dialogue in a way that makes it abundantly clear what Hop’s arc is, he also feels more like a vehicle for Hop’s development here than a character with his own motivation, which I feel is highlighted by Bede never referencing or being affected by this event at any further point in the game. I think this scene highlights an issue with this game that I have: despite intentionally being interwoven, the rivals don’t have enough interaction with each other for their few crossing paths to really mean anything. Here, Bede feels more like a plot device than a person

There is a lot of drama to be derived from Bede and Hop butting heads and just being in the same room as each other: they’re extremely defensive over their idols and their own prowess which by definition puts them in direct conflict, but until now we don’t see them speak and they rarely interact for the rest of the game. While being locked to the POV of the protagonist does make this a bit difficult, I feel like just putting them in the same room together and letting them duke it out at regular intervals throughout the story would be enough. Have pieces of Bede’s story slip out in shouting matches with Hop; use Bede as another character constantly beating Hop to crush his spirits, etc etc. There’s a lot these characters can do with and for each other, but they don’t. Bede’s entire story comes in bursts throughout the plot, and I would argue it’s worse off for it. 

After this, it’s Wild Area time, and I’ll be honest: People who think it looks empty are insane. It gives a pretty strong British wilderness feel to me, and while I'll admit I wish it had a few more forested areas? It’s fine. It’s fun, it’s pretty unique and breaks up the landscape well, and looks and behaves as intended gameplay wise. My only gripe with it, which I share with all routes in this game, is that there’s way too many pokemon packed into a single area to avoid running into things when moving quickly. Having pokemon other than really strong ones appear exclusively in grass makes this worse. Paldea “fixed” this issue by making pokemon absolutely microscopic and spreading them everywhere, which I’m not sure is an improvement, but I did find myself in way too many battles in Galar just because I kept running over pokemon with my bike. Annoying, but ultimately minor. 

Upon reaching Hammerlocke, we’re back to Bede, who proudly announces he absolutely wrecked Hop before having an “important meeting” with Rose in the middle of the street. Personally, I always assumed these “meetings” were just Bede running up to Rose and begging for a few seconds of his time– and based on the way Rose and Oleana treat him I might not be wrong. However, the dialogue in Hammerlocke really made me think a bit more about the story. 

In particular, Bede’s insistence that he was collecting gym badges made me wonder exactly why he had to. Rose is doing just fine with Leon as champion– and replacing him with Bede the walking PR disaster feels like it would run contrary to Rose’s… everything, really. Rose doesn’t benefit much if at all from Bede’s inclusion in the gym challenge (there’s even an NPC in Turffield who mentions Rose running all the advertising agencies in the league and he seems to single-handedly run the place, so whatever Bede is doing seems to run contrary to all that). Plus, if Rose only really cares about Wishing Stars, then challenging the gyms feels like a pretty big distraction from collecting them. While ultimately I understand that Bede wants to prove his strength to someone like Rose in the most direct way possible and achieve the champion status that Rose wants for his whole Darkest Day shabang, it did get me thinking about alternate storylines for Bede that don’t involve Rose endorsing him. 

For example: what if instead of Team Yell, Bede was the challenge disruptor? If most / all gym challengers have a Dynamax band which is powered by Wishing Stars, wouldn’t it make sense for Bede to harass and steal from gym challengers (without Rose’s knowledge, of course)? It gives him something to do in the early game other than stand around and say mean things, gives the protagonist a good reason to want to kick his ass other than the way he dresses, and adds a layer to his desperation to please Rose at any cost– making it hurt all the more when Rose discards him later on. 

Another possibility is Bede as a kind of repo man– if every challenger has a Dynamax band, but fails to give it up after they drop from the challenge, maybe Rose would have Bede go and collect them so Rose could recycle them for the gym challenge or use them in his power plant. He uses Bede for this purpose explicitly because Rose has a reputation to uphold and if Bede screws up too publicly (which he does with the ruins in Stow-on-Side) Rose can just ditch him without putting himself at risk. This would highlight some super shady shit going on with Rose, also make Bede more awful and make you want to beat him, show the flaws of the gym challenge, etc etc. Unsure of how either of these would fit into the story or whether it would work, but it’s smth this dialogue got me thinking about

Wish fulfillment aside, this cutscene is part of a larger string of issues I have with this game: they do some pretty heavy handed foreshadowing and exposition in this scene… which the protagonist is eavesdropping on. A solid half of the plot in this game is explained in conversations the protagonist for some reason can never take part in and makes it feel even moreso like the protagonist has no autonomy. Ultimately they don’t in any of the games, but Galar makes me actually feel like it

And speaking of cutscenes, this part of the game is cutscene city. When we’re about to leave Motostoke, we get the chant scene, then a Bede scene, then the wild area immediately into two more Bede scenes, then a Rose scene, then a Leon scene, then a Raihan and Sonia scene, then a Hop scene, and dumped out on a route 10 levels above where we were 30 seconds ago. This section of the game honestly feels like rubber duck debugging– everyone has problems they talk to the protagonist about, and then run off and fix them without the protagonist really Doing Anything. Anyway, despite this section being a slog I do have some things to say about each of the little cutscenes so here’s all that in order: 

The rose scene is just exposition dumping so we’re not confused about Rose’s eventual snap later. It’s almost like the writers knew the plot was totally out of left field and wanted to at least give a quick heads up of what’s to come. They did a shit job with it, but I’ll talk about the power crisis plot more when we get there

When we run into Leon, he more or less explains to us what’s going on with Hop, and in a rare W for this game, I actually like how this is presented. I think directly interacting with Hop here wouldn’t pack as emotional a punch because of the limits of the game’s animations. Leaving it to our imaginations and showing his ultimate changes via team switch-ups and dialogue is honestly a pretty clever way of showing what Hop is doing on his own and how much he’s struggling without interfering too much with the protagonist’s own story. It’s also just. So sad that Hop doesn’t feel like he can talk to the protagonist about what’s bothering him at first, poor dude!! I’ll talk about this more in the Leon and Hop post, but I also think Leon recognizing and choosing to do nothing about Hop’s borderline breakdown says a lot about their relationship

Next is with Sonia about the wolves. This plotline might actually be the weakest of all the ones in the game (which is impressive because the bar for plot lines in this game is stupid low): it has no relevance to anything else, most of the actual plot happens at the very end of the game, and all the previous information is delivered like it is here: In a cutscene where Sonia exposition dumps about something completely unrelated and then disappears. Begging this game to let the player character do something other than the gym challenge I’m on my hand and knees

The next scene is one I find especially interesting just in how the little pieces of dialogue color the way the characters are feeling and acting. Despite Hop appearing and smiling as normal, his wild gesticulations are absent and his voice is notably muted just in the way his dialogue is phrased. He speaks far more calmly to Team Yell, and when you get the dialogue prompt to battle them, you have the option of tackling the problem yourself– at which point Hop very quietly draws attention to the fact that the protagonist says “i”-- not “we”-- will defeat them, which is further supported by his decision to let you battle the second grunt rather than stepping in himself. His normal animations are also absent, and he spends the entire cutscene stiff and smiling like the corporate :). At the end of this scene, they also have him turned around, showing via omission that he’s likely crying. Hop once again proving he has the only good story in this game that the protagonist feels like a part of

A hop (haha), skip, and a jump across the route later and we’re in Stow-on-Side, about which I admittedly don’t have much to say. The choice of a different gym leader depending on version is certainly fun, but it also doesn’t lend itself well to the tying together of town layout and gym leader personalities because Bea and Allister are so different. Really fun designs on both of them– and while I wish they didn’t both use Kanto pokemon as their aces, I also can’t be too mad because they’re written and executed well enough that it doesn’t make too much of a difference in the end. Aside from that, I do like how the bright red of the town and route around it really stands out from the rest of the region, as well as the choice to make the route before the town play with vertical surfaces, ladders, and height. It makes things pop in a unique way and breaks up the dark green monotony that envelops a lot of the region. Visually the town is quite nice even if there’s not much happening here. And without seeing the gym leader before or after the actual battle like the others, there isn’t much to say about them either. Oh well, they can’t all be thematic bangers. There’s a Hop battle in here too, but I’m saving that for the Hop post. He does accuse you of being a bad ally for depression if you tell him you won’t battle him though. King. 

After the gym, we meet Sonia, and get a mix of Bede and Sonia scenes near the ruins. In my mind, this has the same issue as the Bede and Hop scene from earlier: the protagonist sees things happen that don’t involve nor affect them. When the protagonist and Sonia approach the ruins, Bede accuses you of trying to get wishing stars to win Rose’s favor and battles you. What doesn’t make sense to me is why he says this rather than something along the lines of “I won’t let you stand in my way” or whatnot. Yes, that would be cheesy, but it actually makes the protagonist at least FEEL like they’re trying to do something and makes sense– there’s no reason Bede should think the protagonist cares about wishing stars, especially after they let Bede leave with all his on two separate occasions before this. It could be fun to allow the protagonist a little yes / no dialogue box for stopping Bede, so it can at least feel like we made that choice, but as it stands, the protagonist does nothing, has no intention of doing anything, and is immediately assumed by Rose to be uninvolved. They’re not even acknowledged as having battled Bede at all. Nothing the protagonist does or says here matters in any way to what Bede did or what Rose does, and I feel like simply giving the player the option to WANT to stop Bede would be enough to justify his grudge on you or at least make you relevant to what happens to him. 

I think what really drives home my point of the protagonist’s irrelevance in the immediately following wolf plot is this entire cutscene: the protagonist is literally not even in it. Not once during this entire sequence does the protagonist appear in Any Capacity, because they quite literally do not matter to this scene at all. Sonia talks to them, you as the player get dialogue boxes that play the exact same text no matter your answer, and then you get to leave. I am shaking the wolf plot why are you so Bad

But gripes aside, I do think the Bede plot at least, while presented poorly, has a decent story arc for its main beats. You see Bede as a jerk, but they make it clear throughout your interactions with him that he’s desperate for Rose’s attention, which Rose repeatedly does not show (ignoring him here and forgetting his name in Hulbury, as well as his general blase attitude). While this dismissiveness and Bede’s elimination give Bede his own conflict and tragedy, they also serves to highlight: Rose’s somewhat skewed priorities, how he allows individuals to suffer for the good of the collective, and gives us some foreshadowing for his eventual motives and true motive towards the end of the game. To me, Bede feels like a supplement to Rose’s and Eternatus’ plot, giving us a window into the actions of the Chairman towards characters who aren’t the protagonist or Leon. Nessa also does a great job with this in side material, but Bede is a more consistent and relevant character, so I feel like his inclusion and placement as a rival works quite well. While I do believe there need to be some tweaks so his plot feels less infodump-y, it’s most certainly not a bad idea. Plus, you actually feel (a little) bad for the poor guy :( 

After that, it’s off to Ballonlea, which is great because Glimwood Tangle and Ballonlea are the best designed parts of this game. Fairy circles be damned, I wanna live there whether or not my firstborn will get stolen by the women of the night. It’s got glowing mushrooms, man. I do think Ballonlea and the Tangle also take advantage of the Switch’s higher resolution to do some funky things with the lighting, which is quite nice. It makes the place stand out from the spooky forests of older games as well as the routes around it. The inclusion of this route as maze-like also sets it apart from the wider Wild Area and the more linear routes of the early game, which is a great way to break things up! It also contributes to the fairy vibe. 

Side note: I wish there were more fairy tale elements in this game. James Turner does have a pop culture focus, which does fit with the gyms, but England has a really rich historical culture and there has not been a single Arthuriana pokemon, which quite frankly is so lame. Boo. For shame. This has nothing to do with the actual content of the game but it makes me wanna shake my fist at the clouds. 

What I also love about Ballonlea is the resurgence of thematic town layouts that relate to the gym leaders’ personalities and relationships with the gym challenge. Return of the KING. This time, it’s Opal's relationship with the gym challenge and the acknowledgement of the culture’s recency that takes the stage. Ballonlea is small (a shame, but oh well I’ll blame it on the complexity of environments) and the gym is barely in the town. It’s across a small bridge, visually separating it from the rest of the buildings and people, and is in a completely separate space from where people live and interact. However, unlike in Hulbury in which the stadium is constantly present in the background, the gym stadium is shielded by trees and not visible from any part of Ballonlea until you’re directly in front of it– and when you are, the rest of the town isn’t visible. You can see the town OR Ballonlea, but very rarely can you see both in the same shot. We see visually how disconnected Ballonlea is from the gym challenge, which works so well for a gym and town focused around fairy tales and showing the dichotomy between the modern sentimentalities of the gym challenge and how they’ve outgrown the more historical and old fashioned attitudes of Ballonlea. Using fairy tale motifs to visually represent the past, having the town physically closed off via the Tangle surrounding it, making the gym on the hidden outskirts of town. Mwah. The visual design of this game make me go in-fucking-sane because it shows so much of what we need to know about the worldbuilding without actually saying anything. 

Also, shoutout to Opal for just being the funniest character in this game. She is so distinct in both visuals and personality from everything else in this game and it works fantastically, both emblematic of her occupation as an unsettling, powerful, and unpredictable fairy type user as well as putting her in contrast to a lot of the themes of the game. She as a character is distinct, but the attitudes she represents also serve to show how quickly the gym challenge has eclipsed the culture of the Galar and taken the region in a new direction. Even her actions give her an extremely different feel from the gym leaders– she gives you the TM and uniform herself in the same manner as gym leaders from previous generations, rather than having her assistant / gym liaison give it to you like every other Galarian gym leader. Also, her “gym mission” doesn’t take place in any sort of grand arena, is dimly lit, and involves her specifically, which lies in direct contrast to the grand but ultimately impersonal challenges of other gyms. Combined with the fact that you personally interact with her significantly more than the other leaders and you get the sense that she’s operating from a perspective entirely different from her coworkers. Your interactions feel more personable with Opal and significantly less corporate, which combined with her status as someone who “knows when it’s her turn to step offstage” really just drives home the way the gym system operates. Her status as a gym leader on the brink of retirement gives us a shorthand for the transition into a brand new age for Galar which is ushered in by the gym challenge, a new age which while significantly more spectacular and flashy, lacks the individual attention as the smaller, previous approaches to things. And what do you know, that well-meaning, flashy, and detached sentiment is exactly what Rose (who coincidentally runs the entire League) brings when the power crisis plot kicks in. Three cheers for foreshadowing

Immediately after Ballonlea’s gym we’re treated to another “watch while things happen in front of you cutscene”... which I actually have zero complaints about because it’s funny. The way that Bede remains in place while Opal teleports around him to show his mortification and her frightening speed? The way she yeets her umbrella out of frame and sprints towards him? The way she basically announces she’s kidnapping him and he agrees because he refuses to interpret people’s words correctly?? Protagonist irrelevance be damned this is hysterical so it gets a pass. Also, Opal seems to be able to read a character’s backstory from their expression, which in my humble opinion is too good. Opal consistently being able to do completely improbable things and those things never being explained is fantastic. This scene and Bede’s subsequent Becoming the Fairy Type Gym Leader is honestly the best part of this game and such a fun way for his character to go. Hop’s the best written rival, but Bede is a goddamn riot, I’m kissing him on the forehead. 

Also after this Hammerlocke fucking explodes. Leon brushes this off, which serves as more fun foreshadowing for the reckless endangerment of civilians done by the gym challenge, how Rose and the gym challenge as a whole are focused on hypothetical ideals to such a degree that they cause problems and suffering for many of the individual people they intend to protect, and the fact that Leon is basically in Rose’s back pocket. This is one of the cutscenes I’m a little torn on, because on one hand, having Leon and Sonia say “oh let the adults handle it” absolutely implies there’s something sinister going on and serves as more good worldbuilding about how absolutely fucked the gym system is to its core, but on the other hand they allow a power plant to explode and the protagonist isn’t allowed to do anything, much like every other thing in this game. It’s these things that prevent the protagonist from having agency, but in this case it kind of does serve a narrative purpose, so I can’t completely write it off?? Still kinda sucks though. 

However, the game is quick to remind you what you CAN have a direct impact on in this game. After the explosion, Hop comes out from the train station, chats with you, and asks you for a battle, allowing you to continue your own deeply personal quest of driving Hop further into a depressive episode as you question and shatter the very foundations of his personality and hopes and dreams. As always, that’ll be in the Hop and Leon post. Cannot wait to see how long THAT ends up being. 

To make up for not being able to investigate, you’re given the opportunity to travel through route 7, a solid 15 square feet of terrain that was definitely a case of the developers realizing they forgot to add in an area and just refitting the Route 5 textures to a different map. The fact that you can see the beginning and end of the route in the same frame even without a movable camera is pretty funny though. Immediately afterwards, luckily, is my favorite route in the game, route 8. It combines the vertical puzzles of Route 6 with the maze-like qualities of Glimwood Tangle, has some really interesting setpieces with the walls, and most importantly it has Falinks. They walk through little doors and out others in completely different locations like Scooby-Doo that just elevates the entire thing. 

Only part about Route 8 that confuses me a bit is that it randomly shifts to an icy snowy route for three seconds and then immediately goes into the next town, which leaves the desert / ruins part flanked by two completely contrasting mini routes. Honestly, I would have preferred it be a bit more cohesive or to combine the two mini routes, but that’s more of a personal preference thing— while it doesn’t make sense for the desert and snow routes to be immediately adjacent, pokemon has always had some pretty severe environment shifts in all their games so I can’t say it’s anything new. Plus it’s pokemon, environmental realism was never a priority. 

Once you do get to Circhester though, you get to challenge the gym and watch some cutscenes before the game ushers you on. Unfortunately, I feel like in much the same way as Stow-on-Side, there’s not that much interesting stuff going on with the gym leader because of the way the games are laid out. To make the “gym leader depends on version” thing work, the town itself needs to be generic enough to fit in two gym leaders who in turn need to be distinct enough to justify the version exclusion difference. It’s difficult to connect the town and leader or make that leader involved in the overarching plot without sacrificing some of their uniqueness or at least making some changes to the ways things end up. While I think Melony and Gordie are interesting characters, and continue the trend of SwSh gym leaders feeling like fleshed out people with fun and unique personalities, I also don’t have much to say other than that. They’re cute, they’re fun, and they continue with the trend of interesting concepts, designs, and attitudes, but that’s about it. They’re just a fun time you get to see for a bit and move on from. Since this is already hella long though, I’m gonna leave Route 9 and beyond for the next post!

Other notes: 

When Leon announces he needs to head to a meeting with the Chairman (who you just left), he runs off in the wrong direction. Just a small cute visual detail I couldn’t find a place for elsewhere

In that same piece of dialogue he talks about learning from losses… which is rich considering he’s the unbeatable champion. Not super sure what’s that’s supposed to mean for him, but it’s something

Raihan is dripped the fuck out. I want that hoodie so badly it’s almost a need

The Switch Lite can connect to Bluetooth for headphone purposes or it can connect to the internet, but cannot do both at the same time. Coincidentally, every time you enter the wild area your switch automatically connects to the internet. You cannot turn this off. :) 

The bike movement in this game makes me want to hurt things. While it is circular, as a bike naturally would be, it also means hard turns are impossible and half of biking in this game is doing circles around the object you’re trying to get or the pokemon you want to run into 

Someone had WAY too much fun designing the Artist trainer class. I want what they have

Bede’s “running his hands through his hair” animation makes me insane it looks so bad. I hate it here. 

There’s a furry in Ballonlea. That’s not relevant to any themes or designs but like. He’s there! Live ur truth man

The leveling curve of this game is. Bad. Not Johto bad, but there are points where the game throws you up 5-10 levels, then stays at that same point for three routes and has another jump. Not terrible, but kind of a pain. 

… Did Pokemon get way easier to catch in SV or am I just bad at this game because I stg these bastards will not stay in their balls

Screenshots by Beardbear again :) His youtube channel is great for playthroughs def check it out

There's a small hotel mystery thing you can do in Circhester-- and honestly that's a theme with a lot of these towns, there's plenty to do if you stop to look, which is super cute and really makes the place feel lived in!

[bria-doublen-a]

Book Review: Love & Other Words

Non Spoiler Section

This book was such a breeze! It only took me two days to finish this and if I didn’t have to work, I probably could’ve done it all in one sitting. With almost zero drama, this was such an easy read and the perfect palette cleanser for anyone who needs one. So, if you’re into a lot of angst and character turmoil, you won’t find that here.

This is a second chance romance centered around Macy and Elliot, who grew up together and learned how to love in every sense of the word. We jump back and forth from past to present in alternating chapters, but the way the story is told is seamless. This is going to make you laugh and cry, but mostly just laugh. Still, I’d have those tissues ready.

Prepare to fall in love with fictional characters, virtually losing hope in all real life human beings.

Spoiler Section

Okay. The first thing I want to address here is Sean. Can we talk about him for a second? Let me tell you how annoyed I was when Macy introduced us to Sean, who for all intents and purposes is a generally decent guy, and then we immediately run into Elliot. I was like, great. Another boring love triangle with two jealous, foaming-at-the-mouth dudes fighting over the trophy, aka the pretty girl. But I was genuinely surprised and relieved when Macy pretty much right away brought Elliot up in conversation with Sean and he just listened.

Sean was so understanding and not at all dismissive or rude about it. He gave Macy the freedom to actively search for closure and it just made him so likeable. Maybe Sean and Macy don’t belong together, but there definitely needs to be more Seans out there in the world.

And when Macy finally decided to end things, he was so gracious about the whole thing! I realize that real life breakups, the ones where people actually bear more than a general fondness of the other, can be messier and more painful. But to me, it just shows how people are capable of being mature and actively listening to their partner and how they’re feeling. Like I said, Macy and Sean are far from what I expect from a power couple, but I got MAD respect for my boy Sean. Thank you for not being the brutish dick I expected you to be.

Okay, moving on. Watching Macy and Elliot grow up in Healdsburg was the absolute cutest. I love their exchanges of favorite words, I love how uncool they are together and love how experimental they were with each other. That first kiss between them in the kitchen where Elliot stuck his finger in her mouth and she said he tasted like jelly?? I was so warm and fuzzy and yet cracking up at the same time!

The sexual tension between them was honestly so romantic and cute, and honestly just genuinely refreshing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a good spicy book or whatever, but I also think that sex doesn’t always have to be hot and heavy. It can be light and feathery and just plain cute. Which is exactly how I’d summarize Macy’s and Elliot’s relationship.

That being said, knowing everything we know about Elliot; he’s honest, dorky (and a little derpy too) and incredibly responsible...got wasted on New Year’s Eve and had sex with Emma??? AFTER drunk calling Macy and proposing over the phone?!?!?! Not gonna lie, that phone call was so adorable and I totally get Macy’s hesitation with her Dad watching her. But what the hell, Elliot???

I know he explained. And to be honest, that’s the only explanation I’d take to actually believe that he’s capable of doing something like that. But it’s still cheating. And thinking of that line he had at his brother’s wedding where he asked Macy why she left him...like bruh. Isn’t obvious? You had sex with another girl. That’s a valid reason, my dude. Maybe the 11 year cold shoulder was a little extra, but there are plenty of couples who break up after infidelity and I don’t blame them.

But one thing I will say about Elliot, is I love how he’s kind of grown out of Macy’s habit of shutting down. We know that she is and will always be his only love. But he won’t stand for her keeping him at arm’s length. Whenever he wants to dive below surface level, Macy short circuits. But when they’re in the gardens and he’s waiting for Macy to give her side of the story and she just won’t. He just walks away, and honestly, good for him. Not that I have any problems with Macy, but I love that Elliot is willing to never love again, because we know it’s either Macy or no one for him at this point. And if she can’t communicate openly the same way that he does with her, then what kind of relationship could they even have?

And then we have Macy’s breakdown and oh. my. god. I was sobbing, but I knew this was a turning point for her. She finally stepped foot in the vacation home, which she’d avoided like the plague until now. She faced those horrible skeletons hiding in her closet. Because, let’s be real. When Mom was diagnosed, she had time to prepare her daughter. She gave her letters for her to reference as she grew up and those letters became a momento for Macy. Something she could look back on and remember that her mom always loved her. But Duncan never had that luxury. He was taken. Unexpectedly.

Having lost a parent myself, I know what it’s like to have unfinished business. To truly believe you’re at fault for something you’ll never get an opportunity to fix. And suddenly, Macy’s Berlin Wall made absolute sense. It’s there to protect her from harm. But something I’m learning in my grief, is that when you try to protect yourself from pain, you shield yourself from all the other great feelings too. And who better to teach this lesson than Elliot Petropoulos?

Elliot swoops in, carries our girl and we finally get the full story. It’s ugly. It’s painful. It’s jagged and raw. But it’s laid bare and now they can navigate past it.

We knew from the beginning that Macy and Elliot were going to have a happy ending. But I can’t think of a couple more deserving. What a wonderfully joyous and emotional ride. I’ll carry these moments with me for a while, I think.

So, now I’ve got a really important question for you all. What’s your favorite word?

[seven-oomen]

Okay, let’s see if I can make anything coherent out of this, even though I should really be going to bed. XD  Will try to break up the rambling as best I can for readability.

*MASSIVE WARNING FOR SPOILERS AHEAD!*

First off, jeebus christ that opening.  They did not even slightly play around about what to expect from this movie.  I was *WHEEZING* the whole time because my brain just playing that “I’M GONNA BEAT A MOTHERFUCKER, WITH ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKER” meme the whole goddamn time.  The moment when Wade straps on the claws and manages to use them was both horrifying and genius.  XD

Also, holy crap the levels of references and meta in this film.  (A friend actually sent me a YT video that covers ALL of the Easter eggs in the film, but I’ve not had time to watch it yet, as the only comment she added was “It’s LOOOONG”)  I keep telling the coworkers I’m trying to get to watch it that “It doesn’t so much break the fourth wall as nuke it from orbit."  XD  The comments about how you’d never know that Lady DP just had a baby, about Hugh’s divorce, all the stuff with the Legacy gang.  My favorite was probably the shop called Liefeld’s Just Feet from the end sequence, every time it popped up I had to choke down a cackle.  The callbacks to the old films, the recreations of popular cover art.  Just the sheer amount of research that went into this film was just *chef’s kiss*.  I’m sure there were things I missed because I’m not totally caught up on everything, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen some of it, and everything was just happening so much, but it doesn’t even matter because everything I did catch was amazing.  Also, very much appreciated the TVA agent who was clearly meant to represent all of us.  XD  Treasure that mask my dude.  (Funnily enough, I didn’t even know about that because I hadn’t really even seen all the trailers, I went into the film fairly blind.  Was DEFINITELY part of the cheering section when he pulled that on.  And then immediately knew I had a coworker who NEEDED to do that costume.  XD )

And, omfg, the CAMEOS.  I almost screamed so many times at some of the reveals.  I’d heard lots of speculation on who (actor) and who (character) might appear, but I knew there was no way all of it was going to be true, so I just let myself be surprised in the best ways.  The only one that we didn’t get that I saw people talking about that I wish had happened was Daniel Radcliffe as "Height-Appropriate Wolvie”, especially after some of the pics I’ve seen from that film where he has guns attached to his hands or whatever.  I think it would have been fun.  One that might have been cute would have been Taron Egerton as Patch, mostly because I occasionally see him mentioned as a possible future replacement for Hugh (even though he’s not 90 yet XD, and I don’t know that Taron has quite the feral quality the character needs), as well as a possible future Bond.  Also kinda hoped for Ice Man to pop up since Pyro was there, or for a possible Loki mention because of the TVA.  My mom said that RR’s kids all appeared in the film, but I haven’t had a chance to look into that yet (maybe Thor was crying because he stole his move XD ).

But without doubt I had three favorite cameos (listed in no particular order.)  When CEvans appeared I think the whole theater lost its collective mind.  Like, literally spontaneous cheering.  I kinda wondered a bit at first, because like, the facial hair, and he didn’t really have the Dorito shape going, but I’d also heard a little about the whole Nomad thing, but as soon as he pushed the hood back and I got a better look at the collar/shoulder of his outfit, my brain started up this slow “wait…WAIT…hold up, that looks like…” and then he says it and I started cackling like a fucking hyena.  That was a truly brilliant bit of misdirection.  (Side note, I assume you saw the end end credits scene?  XD  How much do you think he enjoyed that?)  On a somewhat related note, absolute props to Emma Corrin for being so believably James McAvoy’s sister.  And also hellaciously terrifying.

Shortest favorite cameo (but worth every moment), absolutely hands-down, The Cavill-rine.  I had heard people speculating he might pop up as various characters, but again, I wasn’t particularly expecting anything or anyone.  I could tell it was someone new from the beginning, but I wasn’t certain until he turned around and then there was a whole lot of screaming from a lot of different people.  I did appreciate the adaptation of his “arm-loading” maneuver from M:I for deploying the claws, I found it very effective (though maybe it was just the tank top XD )  I’ve seen some people saying that this could be a sign that he’ll be moving over to the MCU at some point now, which I have slightly complicated feelings on mostly just because the main character I could see him being used for is Captain Britain (which would be amusing because he’d have to go blond, and if anyone remembers Stardust that can be…tricky…  XD ), but I can’t stand CB, but he also leads my fave X-team so if he DID take that part maybe we’d get an Excalibur movie, which I would love.  Part of me would want RR involved with that, though, because I’d trust him to do Nightcrawler correctly, and make commentary about it when he does (also, I don’t know if they’ve actually interacted much/at all in the comics, but I feel like Wade would absolutely enjoy meeting a guy who not only also dual wields swords on occasion, but can actually triple wield because that tail is prehensile [and yes, I have indeed seen fic where he used his tail exactly the way Wade would imagine - often on Logan as it happens.  Ah, the lawless early days of fic found on people’s unregulated personal sites or behind AdultFanFic.com’s rather lax security protocols. XD ])  Uh…sorry, went a bit off topic there…

Lastly, but very certainly not least, I almost LOST MY SHIT when Channing Tatum strolled out.  Like barely restrained dolphin screeches and wriggly seat bouncing (I choose to believe they were mostly restrained at least.)  Gambit is probably my second favorite X-man, and I have been desperate to see him done justice in a film.  Ironically the only appearance he’s had was in the same dumpster fire that gave us our first “Deadpool”, and I’m pretty sure they didn’t even make sure he had the proper accent, which.  How very dare.  I’d heard mention of Tatum’s attempts to get a solo film made off and on, and now I’m even more disappointed it never happened because he was an absolute delight.  And they did such a good job showing how useful his powers can be in a fight (I may have been chanting “where tf is his bo staff?!” in my head when the fight began, then almost cheered when I saw him using it, shhh, don’t judge me.)  That whole thing with the Legacy gang was a hoot (loved “Elektra” not being upset about the lack of a “DD"  XD )

Okay, moving along (kinda?), to the main boys.  I feel like possibly one of the only ones who engages in the more shippy side of fandom culture who didn’t see the car scene as sex?  Like, I can see WHY so many people do, but I just didn’t even process it that way in the moment.  I feel like it’s possibly just one of those aspec confusion things where my brain just doesn’t tend to make that sort of assumption about interactions, coupled with my own personal opinion of Logan’s mental state at that point.  Like, I feel like it’s entirely probable that one or both of them got off at some point during the fight, but I don’t think they "fucked nasty in the Odyssey."  Wade would absolutely have been DTF, because he’s absolutely attracted to Logan (understandable), and also, it’s what he knows, it would have been an easy outlet for all the BIG EMOTIONS that just kept happening for him, but I feel like Logan wouldn’t have been, even if he was also interested, because at that point he was still so deep in his self-loathing that I don’t think he’d have allowed himself something "pleasurable” like that.  I mean, he’d get something very similar from a fight, but he wouldn’t have to acknowledge it the same way.  It felt more like a “I’m going to punch something until the screaming in my head stops because I’m now too sober to regulate my emotions properly” type of moment to me.

For similar reasons I wasn’t really all that surprised when they didn’t obviously get together at the end.  Now, if they hadn’t pulled that stupid shit with Wade and Vanessa, it would be a different story, but they needed to wrap up that drama first.  Fix what the idiot writers decided was necessary for “growth” or whatever, (even though I feel like Wade would have also been just as determined to save his universe if they were together, even if she was encouraging him to try to do more) before you expand things, as it were (which now that I think about it is rather similar to how I felt about the OG trio in Jurassic World: Dominion…  anyway…)  And I feel like Logan was just reaching the point of allowing himself to have friends and make connections again (because did I mis-hear, or was Cassandra implying he’d had to basically mercy kill some/most of them?  Because holy shit), I don’t know that he’d be at the point of actively pursuing anything yet, though.  Like, it almost felt like they’ve seen the potential in each other as a partner by the end, but weren’t quite in a place to do anything about it yet until they’d worked through some things first (which means the sequel needs to be a full on romance.)  Like, the most I might have expected given where they were (and also, y'know, Disney) would have been Logan just sort of casually throwing his arm around Wade’s shoulders, maybe a little kiss on the temple.  (In my defense I am weak for fluff.)

However, again, so much potential for places to go from there.  I feel like it might be a little awkward at first, because Wade might not really know quite what to DO here.  Like, flirting and sex are one thing, attempting an actual relationship are very much another (especially since he’s not 100% sure where Logan stands on polyamory, and would rather not accidentally offend the man he’s trying to woo.)  He has no doubts he could seduce Logan, but he LIKES him, and convincing him of that he’s less certain of.  And it’s not like it was with Vanessa, who was just as confident and forward about what she wanted as he was.  Logan is much more reserved, and still occasionally irritable, and Wade isn’t known for coming across as serious and sincere, even when he genuinely is.  And while Logan likes him, too, he’s still adjusting to this new reality, and getting a feel for how all the dynamics work in the group.  So they dance around each other for a little while, while Vanessa keeps encouraging him to “just ASK him already!"  And then when he finally does broach the idea, he finds out Logan is not only totally down, but "this ain’t my first rodeo, so to speak."  (So.  My thought process here is partially influenced by the whole thing in one of the comic runs where people were joking that he, Jean, and Scott were in a throuple because of some weird bedroom layouts.  [Sadly the artist eventually commented on it and said that they weren’t, although my first response in my head was "they could be if you weren’t a coward.”]  And the other part was because it had seemed a little odd to me that when Logan was telling Laura about what happened in his universe, he referred to Scott and Jean by name, and everyone else by codename.  Which probably doesn’t mean anything, but I decided it did.  The fact that they were trying to get him to join them could imply that he hadn’t known them long, but there’s also no reason they couldn’t have been encouraging him to join because they’d been dating for a while, too.)  Wade is like, immediately incensed about this (“why didn’t you tell me?!” “you never asked.”), because they apparently COULD have now been fucking nasty already.  Vanessa and Al both give him much crap about this (“Boy, I’m blind as shit and even I could see he was interested in you.”)  Also, I feel like Yukio would absolutely adore Logan, but can’t decide if Negasonic and him would get along like a house on fire, or if she’d be put off by how alike they are.  XD  Given his history with volatile young girls the odds are probably in his favor.  I mean honestly; Rogue, Jubilee, Kitty, Laura.  And being besties at various points with Wade, Kurt, Ororo, etc.  For a guy who so staunchly considers himself a loner he has quite the support network.  XD

…I feel like there were probably other things, but it’s almost two o'clock in the morning, and I open tomorrow.  Also, this is already hella long (again, my apologies, lol.)  Hopefully this mostly makes sense, and is at least somewhat of an enjoyable read.  Tbf, you did encourage me.  ;P  Anyway, hope you’re still doing well, and may the weather calm down soon.  Take care!  *HUGS!*

It is approaching 1 am where I’m at, so I’m gonna reply to some of this now and maybe to some of it later. I definitely think Logan had to mercy kill at least some of his teammates in his own universe. It’s heavily implied in my opinion. Which, ooofffff, man. No wonder he feels that much guilt and is that messed up. Oh Yukio absolutely adores Logan, I feel like she might just hug him one day and just says; I’m glad you joined the family. And Logan, the big fucking softy he is, just absolutely melts and adopts the girl on the spot. As for Ellie/Negasonic, I’d say there’s a lot of posturing at first between the two. With Logan just mostly being really confused by the way she’s acting, but eventually Logan wins her over and they get along splendidly after that. I do think Laura and Negasonic become instant besties. Which spells hell for anyone else involved because they are ferocious and MeanTM. I did write some premises down for a fic for them where they slowly get together, sticking to mostly canon, with some comic references thrown around. (Creatively working my way through the messy, messy timelines). https://www.tumblr.com/seven-oomen/757474833241096192/so-story-idea-for-deadpool-and-wolverine-obvious?source=share

I think the way I’d tackle their relationship is that they didn’t get together at the end of Deadpool 3 for exactly the reasons you list above. While I would have loved the movie that much more if they did, from a character standpoint I think both Wade and Logan have some shit to figure out until they get to that point. It’s fun to wish for it though.

Things it will feature and the premise: Omega Logan Wade is just Wade/Deadpool as we know him Dualsex Omegas from Logan’s universe Deadpool and Wolverine prequel/midquel/sequel Jimmy Hudson & Ellie are twins born of Logan and Wade (Ellie is loosely based of Eleanor Camacho) Trans Jimmy Hudson Laura Kinney is adopted into the family Slow burn Poolverine Wade has some kinky shit that really ends up helping Logan through his heat. Logan and Wade are bad at feelings Flashbacks to Logan’s life during weapon X and the X-men In Logan’s timeline he and Wade met during weapon X times, though back then nothing really came out of their relationship. Logan was very much under Victor’s thumb until the aftermath of Lagos where he and Victor were experimented on. Logan survived his experimentation, Victor didn’t. Which left Logan with some abandonment and bonding issues. Eventually Logan found his way to the X-mansion, and was taken in, though that too ended in tragedy by his own making. He didn’t join when his team needed him the most and paid for that decision by losing everything. He even had to put Jean, Scott, and the professor out of their misery in the end. After that faithful night, the hunt for mutants in his universe began, with him being one of the few survivors of the purge. By the time Wade pulls him out of his own universe to act as an anchor being for his, guilt and anger are eating away at him. After shit goes down, and he realizes there’s no way back, Logan tries his best to settle back into civilian life with Wade and the rest of the family. Things get incredibly complicated when Logan’s heat hits with lasting consequences for the newly formed family.

I’m working out the kinks in this stage and figuring out the tone of the story. Would love to read your thoughts though :)

[cricutmachinedesign]

Cricut Explore Air 2 Connect to Computer: A Stepwise Guide

Hey crafters, are you here to learn the Cricut Explore Air 2 connect to Computer? Here, you will get what you are looking for. Chill and relax; I am going to teach you everything that you need to know to establish the connection between your Cricut and computer.

But hold on! Do you want to connect your Cricut machine to Windows or Mac? Don’t worry, I will teach you both. All you need to do is make sure that your computer meets all the system requirements. For this, you can navigate to Cricut’s official website, where they have mentioned every requirement for Mac and Windows computers.

I am a professional crafter with years of experience. My years of hard work have taught me so much, and now I am excited to share all this with you. Let’s get started!

Cricut Explore Air 2 Connect to Computer (Windows)

Connect your Cricut cutting machine to your computer if you are a Windows user. You can connect it to them easily. Take your Windows computer out. No matter which brand of computer you are using, it should have a compatible or latest operating system. To know the system requirements, you can visit Cricut’s official site. Now, let’s learn how to connect Cricut Explore Air 2 Bluetooth.

Place your PC near your Cricut Explore machine. Make sure your PC has Windows 10 or later version.

After that, you need to look for a flat surface.

Once you find a suitable place, such as a table and floor, you can place the Cricut Explore without exceeding its maximum range, which is 10–15 feet.

Once everything is set up, you need to move to the Settings section.

For Settings, you have to navigate to your taskbar and connect to the Start menu.

From the Start menu, you will need to hit the gear icon, Settings.

Then, turn on the Bluetooth by simply clicking on the toggle button.

Now, select Add Bluetooth or other device.

Here, your Cricut will be detected by your Windows computer.

Once detected, click your Cricut model to pair.

Cricut Explore Air 2 Connect to Computer (macOS)

If you are a Mac user, then you have to follow the steps below. The following steps are for only Mac users; make sure you follow them one by one. After that, you will need to start setting up your Mac. Let’s first learn how to connect Cricut Explore Air 2 Bluetooth.

Choose the right place, such as a flat table.

After that, you need to place your Cricut on it.

Have a minimum gap of about 10 feet between your Cricut and Mac computer.

Then, you should find the Apple menu on your Mac and click on it.

After that, you will need to click the System Preferences.

Once you find it, you will need to turn on the Bluetooth.

Finally, you have to click on your Cricut model from the available list.

When you have followed all the above steps, you will find your Cricut connected to your computer.

Cricut Explore Air 2 Connect to Computer via USB

Don’t want to connect to Bluetooth? Don’t worry; I’ve got another option, i.e., you need to connect it to your simply via a USB cable.

First, you will need to turn on the Cricut product by pressing its power button.

Then, switch on your Mac or Windows.

Once you have turned on both devices, take your USB cable and insert it into them.

First, take one small side and insert it into the back of your machine.

After that, you need to take the bigger side and plug it into your CPU or laptop’s USB port.

Use the one’s end of your USB cable and plug it inside your desktop’s USB port.

Finally, you have connected your Cricut to your computer via a USB cord.

FAQs

Question 1: Can I connect my Dell Vostro 3568 model to Cricut?

Answer: Yes, absolutely; you can connect this Dell Vostro 3568 model hassle-free. Cricut machines are compatible with most popular brands like HP, Asus, Dell, and others. However, you should know that Cricut doesn’t support Google Chromebook or Unix/Linux. Besides Mac, Cricut only supports the Windows operating system. Hence, any laptop with a Windows operating system will be perfect for using Cricut.

Question 2: Should I use the Cricut app to connect my Cricut?

Answer: Yes, you have to use the Cricut software to connect your Cricut machine. There are two possible connections that you can establish on your Cricut: the first is via USB cable, and the second is Bluetooth. If you choose to connect your Cricut via Bluetooth, you don’t need to worry about anything, as it is reliable and frees you from clumsy wire. However, most people also prefer a USB connection, as it is easier than a Bluetooth connection.

Question 3: Is a Bluetooth must for Cricut Explore Air 2?

Answer: No, it’s not! Besides Bluetooth, you can also connect your Cricut using your USB connection. You will find a USB connection easier than the Bluetooth. However, Cricut recommends that if you are using Maker 3 or Explore 3 with a Windows computer + AMD Ryzen, then you have to use a Bluetooth connection. But, this is not the case with the Cricut Explore Air 2 model.

Source: Cricut Explore Air 2 Connect to Computer

Visit here For More Information: cricut.com/setup

Pinterest

[flownintothesun]

 ⋆ ✰ ⋆ ───    [ 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐂𝐊 ] : 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲'𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐲. 𝐉𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 @ 𝐅𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐬

                          ⋆ ✰ ⋆ ─── 𝟒𝟎𝟒 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝. ( @batteredoptimist )

      𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐈𝐒 𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐎 𝐅𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐍𝐎 𝐎𝐁𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐋𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐀 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 — and were he in a forest, he would be battered by any number of branches or roots, and still, he would try to run. In reality, he is frozen in place, frozen in time, standing in his room with boxes half-full, no real organization to them — just the action of moving because you must move, because you’re not given a choice to stay still and process. The voice at the door makes him jump, and draws him back to painful reality. The copy of Coelho’s The Alchemist slips from his grasp and hits the floor. His eyes are burning, but tears won’t come. He had always told Robin that he’s a coward. The truth is, he should have sought him out immediately. Francis is not used to asking for comfort, no matter how badly he wants it.

      The picture won’t be published, of course. The one depicting what was meant to be the end of the world as he knew it in one way, had become just that in another way entirely. His mother had intercepted it — and his father had intercepted her. What had there been to say to them that the picture had not already said in a thousand words, as pictures so often do? He imagines that by now, word has made it around the campus that the golden son is leaving — that he has been disowned. There is nothing that could be worse for his reputation, though Robin’s had thankfully been spared.

       Perpetually cold hands tremble, and his eyes are glassy as he looks both at and through the person he has come to love. The first words to tumble from his lips should be to ask if Robin is okay — but instead, there’s a shaky and offbeat, “I can’t find Percy,” Francis says, referencing the beautiful dove that keeps him company, and that Robin had helped him to name. “I don’t want him to think I’ve abandoned him. Nor you — I haven’t abandoned you, I... I’m leaving.” And if his once-tutor had still been alive, there may have been a saving grace for his reputation. Alas — his beautiful romance is turning into a tragedy. In society, one cannot be associated with someone who has been cut off.

      He trembles — wants to gather his darling lad into his arms — wants so desperately for it to be just like the stories where love prevails and love conquers all. He can’t ask that. He doesn’t even know *how* to be poor — the romanticism of it had always just been that. The whispers have already started. They wonder what he did. His father will release a statement that their views no longer align and that he will not be associated with what is no longer his son. “There is a section — “ he says, almost nonsensically, fumbling for a brick of a book on a half-depleted shelf, “ — in Les Miserables that reads ‘It is a bad moment to pronounce the word love. No matter, I do pronounce it. And I glorify it. Love, the future is thine.’” He turns right to the page, as though it makes a difference, only to set the book down and walk to his door frame to let his loved one in. The door closes behind him. Francis is damned, but Robin is not.

      “I don’t know what I shall do next — isn’t that strange? I had everything figured out once — and now I don’t know what will become of me. But I know I’ll never forget you. I don’t think I could,” his voice is cracking proper now, years and years of weight dissolving the unbreakable dam into absolutely nothing. “ — even a million years from now, in a different life. I don’t think I could ever forget you. Perhaps to tell you that I love you is cruel and yet — I do. I love you. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to be a tragedy. And Percy’s missing — and I — I can’t be what you need me to be without a name.” It’s almost worse than being dead, this kind of erasure. Perhaps it would have never worked in the end, with their circumstances. Perhaps they were only fooling themselves. “You’re still such a mystery to me, Robin — and I thought at least — maybe — “ he thumbs over those precious, soft cheeks, draws him in close. “If I couldn’t be a real prince charming — maybe I could...maybe I could at least be yours.”

[nohoney]

i feel like coffee & cigs reader is the type of girl to get passive aggressive with her man when a girl compliments him in public lmao

oh she absolutely is (/▿＼ )

He’s been walking for the past fifteen minutes, moving silently behind you but still keeping close. When you stop to look at something, he does too. Then you move on to the next section and of course he follows.

You’re mad and Touya is keeping his cool.

It’s nothing that he hasn’t already gone through already with you. It’s practically a routine that he knows like the back of his hand. You don’t speak initially for about twenty minutes or so and then you’ll find a reason to start talking just so you can give an attitude. Whether he says something first or you do, it really doesn’t matter because you’ll find a way to start letting him know that you are upset.

No touching you either while you’re upset, you want your space but you still expect him to be nearby.

“I need to go to the bathroom.” You announce as the two of you walk out of a store. Touya is already holding out his hand so that he can take your purse for you while you go relieve yourself. “Try not to get another girlfriend behind my back.”

This all started because the waitress complimented his eyes while he was paying the check for lunch. She’d been sending him signals every time she came to check in to see if everything was good. The waitress seemed to be the type of woman that think she’s favored over all other woman within the vicinity of her.

Unfortunately she was the only one on the floor to serve the restaurant since it was the lull of the after lunch crowd, so there was no way to ask for someone else to serve you instead.

Touya was silent when she complimented him and you were seething by the time he signed the check. You didn’t even want dessert afterwards even though you had been looking forward to sweets for this outing the two of you took together.

He was also hoping that once the outing was over, he could bend you over the dining table and push your sundress over your hips. That sweet soft blue little dress you wore today, it was driving him wild and Touya wanted to show you some appreciation for it.

“Okay, let’s go before another girl comes up asking to ride your face.” you announce when you leave the restroom.

“She didn’t say anything like that.” Touya sighs when hands your purse back to you. “It was just my eyes. I rebuffed her anyway so stop being angry.”

You roll your own eyes at your boyfriend. “I’m not angry.”

“Okay, you’re not angry.” Touya agrees, placing his hand on the small of your back to lead you out towards the parking garage. “So since you’re not angry then you won’t be upset than I’m still going out tonight.”

“Yeah, fine. Whatever.”

So the nighttime rolls around and you’ve more or less hung onto your attitude still. Its less passive aggressive comments but more expressing through actions and silence, like slamming your book shut when he joins you on the couch and then leaving the room or when Touya asked you to hang his shirt up on the balcony to air dry and you just left it inside the washer while you finished up the rest of the laundry.

“Okay, I’m gonna get going.” Touya tells you as he buttons up his shirt and puts silver rings on his fingers. “You giving me a kiss goodbye or are you still going to be having your lil attitude?”

You pad quietly to him, hooking a finger into the belt loop of his pants and pulling him close to you. You move in that familiar motion to kiss him and Touya is ready to meet you in the middle, but then you just tell him ‘bye’ and then walk away.

“God, you can be such a cunt when you get bent out of shape over one rando.” Touya says out loud just right before you shut the door to the bedroom. He walks forward but stops just right where the hardwood and the carpet meet, right where the bedroom door would create a barrier between you and him if you were to shut it in his face. You hold his gaze, still looking angry but now just a little bit hesitant. “Look, you’ll have the next few hours to yourself. Cool off, bitch to your girlfriends over the phone and make it sound like my fault if it makes you feel better. And when I get home, I want you in a better mood and over what happened today.”

You blink slowly at first, trying to determine if you want to keep up the attitude.

“You’re going to say ‘I love you’ first and then I’m saying it back.” Touya tells you with a sense of finality, gesturing to you to do as told.

It’s mulled over for a moment but you mumble, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He gives you a quick peck before turning to leave. “I mean it, I’m not coming home to you still being a bitch.”

“What happens if I still am?” You ask, already knowing what his answer is going to be.

He looks back at you with his pretty eyes that the bitch waitress was right to compliment him on. “Then I’m not gonna be nice either.”

The implication hangs in the air between the two of you. The front door shuts and you lean against the doorway of the bedroom, now having to decide how exactly you’ll want Touya to treat you by the time boys time is over.

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette (2005): Scythe 2

You just have finished your second playthrough.

...

yyyyyyyyyyyYEP!!!

That’s another hard WAD to check out of the list!

You cross out the word “Scythe 2” on the list.

Now... if you excuse me...

You pass out.

Two days later

Hey kids! Ya want some more WAD-related trauma?!

G2: Scythe 2

Main author(s): Eric Alm

Release date: June 7th, 2005 (original release)/July 10th, 2009 (full version release)

Version played: Version 2

Required port compatibility: Limit-removing

Levels: 32 (standard 30 + 2)

The original Scythe WAD (my review to that WAD here ==>) was pretty good in my opinion, to the point that I consider it a spiritual successor to another MegaWAD titled Demonfear. From what I’ve heard about the sequel, Scythe 2, from many sources, it all can be summarized as better in everything.

Is it true though?

Well, this WAD has a section of it with an Ancient Egypt theme so it’s already better than the original without even playing-

Okay, seriously, it can’t be just that biome that makes Scythe 2 better.

From what I’ve gathered, this WAD’s creation started somewhere around late 2003; so basically not so long after the release of the first Scythe. Scythe 2 actually came out unfinished, without three last maps. It was like this until 2009 when Eric Alm released the full version of this MegaWAD alongside some changes and bug fixes to the previous maps.

But the lacking last maps didn’t stop this WAD from getting one of the Cacowards from 2005 from what I’ve seen. Hell, after Alien Vendetta, Scythe 2 was declared the most influential WAD of all time!

Now, with all of that out of the way, let’s take a look at Scythe 2, and see what makes this MegaWAD so great.

This WAD looks really good. Compared to the first Scythe, it offers more interesting landmarks, not to mention how many themes it has.

Scythe 2 is split between six different biomes. The Gothic castles,

ancient Egyptian temples (my favorite, of course),

chucklefucks’ mining facility,

various, demonic fortresses,

Mesoamerican cities,

and, of course, Hell itself (with castles sprinkled here and there).

The text file to this WAD gives an actual connection between these themes; stating that you are dimension-hopping between them.

The music tracks are also great. Featuring stuff from franchises like Mega Man, Metroid, and, of course, Blood among others.

If I could choose the best track per episode, it would definitely be Great Pyramid from E2, Sigma Fortress 1 from E3, Oldtown Station Remastered from E4, and MIDIfied Wanderlust from E6.

As for the first and the fifth episode, can’t choose which song is the best. The first episode is like 5/5 absolute bangers; with Spy in the Cab probably being the best track. And as for the Jungle episode, I can’t exactly choose between Phendrana Drifts, Heretic’s Atlas, or Intolerance as the best track. Maybe it’s the last one, I don’t know.

Fun fact: Most of the tracks were chosen by stx-Vile. The rest was by Erik Alm himself.

Scythe 2, like Scythe 1, is easy to understand. There will be curveballs here and there but I don’t think you will get stuck for more than a minute.

The first difference you will notice about the maps between this MegaWAD and its predecessor is that they tend to be much bigger. Sure, there are still small maps that you will finish without even noticing but there are now maps that will make you will like you just ran a marathon. Especially from the second half onward.

I also really like how organically you move from one level to another that doesn’t end with a portal at the end.

As I just mentioned, the WAD is split into six episodes; twice as much as the previous installment. And like the first Scythe, each episode ends with you dying to begin another one with only Pistol in your hand; mostly you die by blowing up, but once you end up crushed, and the other time you use Rocket Launcher to slide your carcass to the exit portal.

There are, however, design choices that are questionable at best. Particularly how to get to secret levels. To get to the first secret map, you have to grab the yellow key from End of the Line from a different angle, by straferunning to the pile of boxes nearby, then grabbing the key from these boxes. Normally, if you grab that key the regular way, the switch that opens up the passage to the secret level will lower to the ground. By doing the bonkers way, the switch will stay in place.

Although, you can still press the switch if it’s lowered.

The second secret level has an even more unhinged way of accessing in my opinion. In the first secret level, you have to grab all of the keys, and open up the secret exit in around 12 seconds; otherwise, the door leading to the secret exit will jam. Without enemies enabled, it might be possible to do that for a semi-competent Doom WAD player, but considering what enemies you are fighting on this map, you have to be Zero Master-level of Doom God to actually do that legitimately.

For non-masochistic people, just warp there or noclip through the door that leads to the secret exit. The second secret map is worth playing. It’s like Warrens from Doom I mixed with Get Going from the first Scythe. And thankfully, exiting from any secret map will let you carry your weapons to the fourth episode.

But there are more things to talk about than just bizarre routes to secret levels. For instance, Graverobbers has a set of secrets that leads to getting the red key and eventually a hidden BFG.

Gaia’s Temple shows you in separate areas that the yellow and red keys were lowered in the hub section of the map.

Haunting Dreams, the last map of the WAD, tasks you to go into five portals that lead to some of the locations from the previous episodes.

There is also Mr. X but I’ll discuss this map in a moment.

Scythe 2 is harder than Scythe 1. Even Eric Alm claims that this WAD on Hurt Me Plenty is for people who enjoyed the previous installment on Ultra-Violence. Remember how the first 25 maps (plus secret ones) of Scythe 1 were rather fast to complete until you reached Fear? It happens again with Scythe 2 but earlier.

It all comes down to splitting the MegaWAD into two parts: Pre-Whispering Winds and post-Whispering Winds.

Before you reach this map, maps up to The Garden Base II are usually pretty straightforward. It’s like you were slowly going from E2 to E3 level of challenge of the original Scythe on UV. There are challenging moments, but nothing close to being a herculean task to do.

When you finally reach MAP23, well... How do I put it? Shit goes to Hell and you are bombarded with slaughter maps; starting with 502 enemies on MAP23, and ending with over 700 monsters on Haunting Dreams.  Not all of the maps are like that, but all of them are at least tough; especially when you don’t know where the secrets are.

Is one of these later maps harder than Scythe 1’s Fire and Ice? Honestly, I have no idea. I think some of the maps are at least as hard as that one. This WAD might have unlocked something in my brain to be more comfortable fist-fighting two boneheads and one-two BFG-punching siege cows.

Now here is a question: Which one of the two last episodes is harder? It’s actually hard to answer, since the Jungle episode has a hat trick of slaughter maps, while the Hell episode has harder maps but throws you some easier ones in between the ball busters. I can at least safely say that these two episodes are, at best case, equally hard.

One of the biggest reasons why Scythe 2 is harder than its predecessor is due to the two new enemies added to the roster; really tough sons’a’bitches that will ruin your day. And it so happens that I have encountered these types of enemies in the previous WADs I reviewed.

The first one you will encounter in the fourth episode - Evil Marine. A red-colored coke addict that fires a series of plasma shots. Completely unhinged; probably as fast as you. Now you know why getting into the second secret map in nearly impossible with enemies enabled.

Remember how I mentioned Mr. X? This is possibly the best way to introduce him. With hearing dying Imps, and that bastard popping out from time to time to terrorize you. Kill him on sight with your own Plasma Gun (probably the best weapon to deal with one of them if you have it).

Also, remember Afrit from the first ZDoom Community Map Project? He’s back, and he’s no longer a pushover. 2500 health points, plus a volley of Mancubus’ fireballs and Revenant’s missiles. I saw one of these guys kill a Cyberdemon of all enemies! Luckily, they only appear in the last episode, so they won’t bother you that much. But still, if you saw one, blow them up with BFG.

I haven’t encountered any bugs, although the text file mentions some unintentionally misaligned textures here and there. I didn’t notice them.

Without counting the bizarre ways of entering the secret levels, Scythe 2 is an amazing sequel in every way possible. It’s beautiful, it has some quirks for the lack of better words and it is a step up in challenge for people who finished Scythe 1. I fully recommend it. And as for people who are not really into slaughter maps, there is nothing wrong with playing up to MAP22. You will just skip Afrit encounters.

And now, some videos related to Scythe 2:

See you next time.

Bye!

[outtakesfrommars]

Self-destructive Haircuts

Okay, so maybe I’m not over my self destructive habits.

I mean, there are worse things I could be doing. I could be calling the ex I don’t have. I could be drinking alcohol that I’m too young to buy. I could be…

Okay, maybe there aren’t any worse things for me. This is it. Rowan Thomas at rock bottom— standing in the bathroom with a pair of scissors in my hands, staring into my own eyes in the mirror as if I might find an answer there. The longer I look at my face, the less convinced I am that I’m real. I look plastic, like a mannequin. Like if I tried to speak, my lips might not move.

I slowly open and close my mouth, just to make sure I can. I look like a fish.

I’m losing my mind.

I raise the scissors to my head, slide them under a chunk of hair and snip.

My heart races, filling me with adrenaline like it’s trying to suggest I put the scissors down and go for a run instead. It’s too late for good decisions, and I’ve already made it quite clear that I don’t run. I’m not about to become Coach Lanigan’s prodigy now. I lift another chunk of hair away from my face and cut it off. Then another. And another. I keep hacking away until the rough shape of bangs begins to form across my forehead.

I look like absolute shit.

Like…it looks really, really bad.

I stare at the hideous mannequin in the mirror and watch as her eyes brim with tears. I did this to myself. Five minutes ago I looked perfectly fine, yet I chose to do this, and now I have the audacity to cry over it. If anybody knew what was happening in this bathroom, if anyone saw the clumps of hair lining the sink and me, red-face and teary as I watch my own pathetic blubbering—they’d have me sectioned immediately.

But nobody sees this. This little meltdown is for me alone, and I don’t have to face the consequences until I’ve composed myself, cleaned up the sink and walked downstairs.

My mother barely reacts when she sees me. She pauses for a moment, makes a little sound as though I’ve just painted my nails or tried on a new shirt, then turns back to her magazine.

I keep walking because I don’t quite have the guts to face her yet, despite how blatantly uninterested she seems to be. I know that a worse reaction is coming. I know she’s going to want to have a conversation about this. I head to the kitchen and find a bag of sweet and salty popcorn in the cupboard—all the artificial flavouring, sodium, and corn syrup I need to deal with the trials and tribulations of my mid-teens—then I head back to the living room.

This time, my mother sets down her magazine on the coffee table, looking at me expectantly.

She doesn’t say a word.

“Hi,” I say.

“Hello.”

That’s it. No questions. No scolding. No, “hey, you look a little fucked up. Everything alright?’

Nothing.

This is the problem. My mom wants to know everything about my life when it’s good, every humiliating little detail on the positive end of the spectrum, but the second anything goes wrong there’s not a word from her. I mean, it’s not like she knows something is wrong, because I haven’t actually told her. But she should be able to put the pieces together, right? Surely she can read between the lines enough to know spontaneous bangs does not equal a mentally stable child.

But, no, she doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t ask me if I’m okay. She doesn’t tell me I look awful. She doesn’t even ask why I look like a feral mongoose—whatever the hell a feral mongoose looks like.

Instead, she says, “You cut your hair.”

“Yeah,” I respond, then wait to be told off.

“Did you vacuum?”

I stare at her. “Huh?”

“The hair.” She points at my head as if I might be wondering what hair she’s talking about. “I hope you vacuumed or it’s going to end up all over your room. I got a hair stuck in my foot once and let me tell you—”

“Yeah, I cleaned it up,” I say before her anecdote can go any further.

“Okay.” She watches me in silence for a moment and I watch her back. She doesn’t say anything else.

“I need to get some stuff from the store,” I say finally. “Some candy for my friends.”

“Okay,” she says, not questioning that either. “We can go tomorrow.”