#it does make it harder to make the slime look like slime

[codgod-moved]

i think my problem with designing charlie’s character is i cannot decide if i want him to be made of slime or be just some guy. maybe both, somehow? i think in the past i’ve gone with the full slime approach but that includes a visible skeleton and like do i wanna draw skulls that much

[lord-tekron]

I don’t understand stimboard posts and I never will

that’s it, send post

[yestrnight]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ POCKET SLIME ! 

FROM: kaveh, alhaitham / gn! slime! reader

SUBJECT: you used to be a docile, little thing. a blob of extraordinary cuteness that just follows them around wherever they go. but how in the world did the pet slime they took in turn to be some sort of cum-hungry demon?

( this shit reads like a doujinshi, so don’t even bother using braincells; feels like im committing some sort of crime against the cute widdle slimes of genshin; unhygienic slime usage; reader has a diçk AND a pússy, reader also has a humanoid form don't worry; best of both worlds; urethra play (kaveh); dubcon; nipple play (alhaitham), throat fucking (haitham); they’re ALL on their receiving end; ahégao; )

✧.*  KAVEH 

KAVEH who takes you in while you were plopping sadly around in the rain, sad little rumbles and bleps from your jelly body. he’s not so heartless that he’d kill some poor slime who doesn’t even have any interest in attacking him, only nudging its pudgy body against his shoes and looking pleadingly at him.

he likes to watch you eat the treats he brings home. it’s a stress reliever to see you munch on some sumeru roses he brought home, and he pats your blob figure fondly while you squeal in delight at his treats. you’re not a very picky eater, he finds out, but you’re more delighted whenever he feeds you something with elemental energy. once he learns of this, he brings home more and more elemental energy stuff, just to be on the receiving end of your cute lil snuggies.

KAVEH who lets you sit on his head whenever he’s working on his projects. while he sketches and measures, your cool jiggly body feels so comforting on his hair. sometimes he even falls asleep with you on him, and you slowly make your way to his cheek so you can protect him from the hard wood of his desk.

he genuinely brought you in because he thought you were cute, nothing more than that. he’s gotten fonder of you ever since the days pass by, and you thought of him the same. however…

KAVEH who wakes up to something warm and gooey sucking on him down there. as he squirms under the blankets, tiny little moans and whines escape his pretty little lips. the pink blush on his cheeks seems to brighten when he slowly opens his bleary eyes and sees his adorable slime sucking on the tip of his pretty cock. imagine the shock of seeing the pet he was so fond of doing nasty things to him!

“nnh–! [y-your name]! what are you– ahh ♡!” he tries his best to cover up and pull you away, but with no such luck. in fact, you suck even harder, the wet noises of his cum and your squishy body echoing throughout the room. you suck even harder, and the pleasure makes kaveh’s body jilt and shake every rhythm and pulse.

“angh… t- too much…!” he sobs and pushes you away, but his hands only sink into the slime. it’s only around this time he suddenly realizes the slow expansion of your blob body, slowly morphing into something familiar… something humanoid… something… cuter.

your wobbly smile looks so innocent even as you tongue the veins across his dick, and it sends blood to his head until he feels like he’ll pass out from a nosebleed. you gurgle something that sounds faintly like ‘master’ and ‘kaveh’... and gods does that make his dick hard.

“a s-slime turning into a human?” he gasps, sitting himself. “i must be going– ngH! c-crazyYY ♡ stop! s-stop!” using the dexterity and fluidity of a slime, your tongue compresses into something thinner. you ooze your way in into his urethra, the slimy thing bumping against the edges and leaves his toes curling and fingers gripping the sheets.

“ughk, mmh~!” he throws his head back, dick humping into your slimy mouth. “m-more ♡ k-keep going~! agh, ah, ah~!” your delighted gurgle sounds faint in his ringing ears, but he still manages to smile fondly. “g- good slime ♡ s-sucking on your master’s dick so h-ha-hARD! fuck!” he hisses when your tongue presses against his prostate. he pats your hair with one shaky hand and you nuzzle into it. “so ♡ cute ♡ you got even cuter ♡”

“‘m gonna blow! [your name]! ggh [your name]!” he whines and desperately grasps on the hair-like jelly. “s-slow down~♡! gh, nwah!” he wants to attribute your lack of understanding to your inability of comprehending human languages, but he swears he sees the shadow of a devilish smirk on your cute face before you griiiind your tongue right against his prostate.

as his climax hits him, KAVEH’s eyes roll and his back arches into the air as he shoots his seed into your mouth. the tears blur his vision, but he can see his white seed spurt into the jelly. satisfied with your meal, you finally pull out your tongue– getting some pretty screams from your master at the added simulation– and his body falls limp. you smile and giggle at him, kissing away the tears from his eyes, and slumping your cool body against him. 

“th– thanks, [your name],” he smiles at you, kissing you briefly before sleep takes him away again. “do that for me again, ‘kay?”

✧.*  AL-HAITHAM

HAITHAM who is skeptical of the slime his fool of a roommate brought home. he raised an eyebrow when kaveh came home wet with a pudgy slime in his hands. “you know that can dissolve you, right?” he points out, ever the smartass. 

kaveh snaps back. “of course i know, idiot. but look at them! don’t you feel bad for them?” he raises you high and you give a warbly greeting, but alhaitham is far from impressed. his dramatic roommate rolls his eyes at him and kaveh carefully tucks you away. “let’s go, [your name]! this callous idiot isn’t worth your time!”

HAITHAM who didn’t pay you much attention, only ever seeing you while you drape off kaveh’s head when he enters for breakfast. you were well-behaved for a slime, anyway, so he shouldn’t concern himself much with you. but his interest is piqued when one day he hears devilish noises from kaveh’s room, sounds of slurping and sucking while kaveh whines pathetically muffled behind the door. clearly, it’s not kaveh doing the sucking and slurping, but…

HAITHAM who sees you again the next day at breakfast, draping off kaveh’s head as usual. he greets kaveh with his usual coolness, but kaveh, for lack of a proper word, looks completely fucked out. his legs shake as he pulls his chair, and when their hands touch while reaching for the food, he pulls back with a lip-bitten yelp. all the while, you garble incomprehensibly on him.

yeah, no. his roommate is definitely fucking his pet slime. haitham’s not chatty, but he’s got a million words for how fucked up the entire situation is. once kaveh is out of the house, he corners poor little you and stares down into your vacant little slime eyes. he won’t admit that he actually cares for his… once friend, so getting rid of the thing that has tempted him into immoral acts will be the best next thing.

“mm- mmgh?!” haitham doesn’t know how he ended up like this, gagged and bound by your slimy tendrils. while he tries to break free, he stares in astonishment as the blob slowly expands. the torso starts first, before extending into limbs, until the head takes shape and a very, very pretty smile is smiling innocently into haitham’s face. 

“☆♡♡?” your gurgles continue to be incomprehensible, despite the humanoid form. slowly, your cool hand caresses his face, holding his chin while your tendrils lift him ever so slightly up the ground. you kiss him, like how a lover would, the slightest bit of tongue swiping over his lips, but then you pull away— and he catches the devilish smirk before you lean in again and start fucking his mouth.

he thrashes in your slimy hold, slipping away only for the slime to thicken and tighten their hold on him. he glares at you with look of indignation as he tries his best to keep his mouth shut, only for you to slip your tongue between his lips and curl around his tongue. he shakes as you bring him closer to you so you can properly fuck him in his throat. you curiously watch as he gags and splutters on the length of the tendril, his glare never ceasing even though he looks like a proper slut with that dark red blush on him.

replacing your pseudo tongue for another tendril, you pull away from his face and eye his thin shirt. your curious hands roam over the expanse of his chest, and you delight in the softness of his pecs. feeling a bit too eager to get your hands under his shirt, you dissolve the cloth away and quickly reach up to rub his two pretty nipples. you roll them around in your fingers, giving each one a tight squeeze before going back to massaging them. 

HAITHAM, behind the slime gagging him, yelps when you lean in and bite one. you run a tongue over his wide areolas, studying his expressions to make sure you’re pleasing your master’s best friend properly. his glare is more subdued, the wriggling has lessened, and there’s an… anticipation in his eyes as he stares down at you. you’re more than delighted at the progress. this means he likes you, right? you always felt a little sad when haitham would glare at you, but now you can feel getting closer to him! best friends, even, just like him and your master!

and like every best friend does, you should make him feel happy too! lowering one gloopy hand down to his pants, you waste no time melting away his pants and underwear and morphing your hand into something akin to a suction cup. little tentacles line the inside of the cup, and a muffled groan from haitham convinces you to finally ungag him. he gasps for breath, staring at you with wide eyes and a fucked out look. “what… what are you waiting for?” haitham grits his teeth, trying to hide the desperation he’s feeling when you’re so, so close to finally giving him the relief he wants. “put that on me. now.” a pause when you don’t do anything, and the last left of his dignity leave him as he gives you a pleading look and buck his hips up. “please.”

you know from experience that that one syllable is the go ahead, and with enthusiasm and vigor, you put the cup on him and start sucking. “mmm! ngh, ah, too much! ah!” you think his moans are pretty. huskier and deeper than your master’s soft and light whines, and that only makes you sucke even harder. the stimulation forces him to bend his back as he dangles in mid-air, forcing his fat cock deeper into your suction-hand. the dizziness of the upside down world makes the blood rush to his head, and he feels his eyes rolling to the back of his head when you tickle the throbbing vein running the downside of his cock.

“ah, sh-shit, you’re taking me all in ♡” sweat makes his skin glisten, highlighting even more his soft pecs and his abs. tendrils reach out from your back as they glide themselves around his waist and guide him back up. he’s positively shivering as you continue pounding his cock in and out of your hand, and his tongue is shivering when you pull him in for another kiss.

somewhere in the back of his mind, haitham swears he’ll make a research paper on you– on how intoxicating and aphrodisiacal you can be.

✧.* IT’S A THREESOME!

KAVEH bounces himself on your dick, your squishy body serving as his cushion as he lets his limp body get absolutely wrecked by a thick and veiny cock you fashioned from your ever-morphing body. his pretty dick slaps HAITHAM’s muscled torso as the younger one slaps his heavy balls against the pussy just underneath your balls. 

your slime encases the both of them flicking haitham’s nubs up and down and fucking kaveh’s urethra open, just the way they like it. it should be humiliating, the two roommates who could barely stand each other now open and so vulnerable to each other. but kaveh’s face is contorted in a lewd expression, eyes crossed and tongue hanging out of his mouth as he gets his ass destroyed, and haitham can’t find the energy to even insult him.

well, maybe a little bit. “you– ngh! – you really brought a beast into my home, huh?” he pants out, grabbing kaveh’s waist for stability as he thrusts his dick into you like a beast in rut. “you really couldn’t resist the chance to get yourself fucked silly, huh, my dear senior?”

kaveh whines when he feels haitham going even faster on you, and he tries to cover his face with his arm. “sh– shut up, okay?! i– a-ah ♡ i didn’t knooow! i thought they were a c-cute l-little thing ♡ but now they’re–” a sob escapes him as you abuse his prostate. “they’re just bullying me e-everydayyy ♡”

haitham locks eyes with you, innocent and vacant, not a single thought behind them. but it’s hard to see you as anything but innocent when you’re offering up both your cock and pussy to your two masters.

“you’re one crafty thing,” haitham bites out. but all you offer to him is a happy little noise when you think that you’ve made your two masters happy and fulfilled. just like how that man taught you to.

[kix-mm]

King slime

You've been separated from your party, and wonder lost down the ancient tunnels of this large underground kingdom.

A king slime towers over you. You never knew they could get this big. The encounter had you feeling nervous for many reasons, the kings impressive health bar was one of them, the other was your lack of it...

"A visitor? I haven't seen a live morsel in ages." You shiver when being referred to as live food, slowly taking a step back in an attempt to distance yourself from the royalty.

This king was clearly well-fed and even had food to spare. It made you wonder if being referred to as a "live morsel" was what was to come of you if you were to overstay your welcome?

It seemed to recognize your discomfort, speaking in a surprisingly clear and sweet voice. "Does my size make you uncomfortable? My presence?" They ask while giving you a rather bothered stare, a mixture of worry and confusion.

You shake your head, but it sees right through your lie. It watches you keep your eyes trained elsewhere and try to keep a tough stance, but your inexperience makes it difficult to look calm and collected.

"Sit, I insist." he waved his hand, thick grobs of slime yank you down onto the jelly-like floor. You couldn't resist even if you tried. The landing was soft, squishy, and very much alive, it made you wonder if all of this slime belonged to this one entity- or that there were many more simply coexisting and doing the kings bidding.

Your personal space feels very much invaded, especially since the king had no issue getting so close and touchy, it was in no means to be inconsiderate, slimes were used to such closeness, it's how they survived, but you werent one of them, something he seemed to have forgotten.

After some squishing, pushing, and prodding, the king settled back into place "where were you heading?" Finally, a question you knew how to answer. "The surface" you say but gives the king a bewildered look "nonsense, you were heading deeper into the dungeon, not out of it"

A pin dropped, ah. That explained why the monsters were getting harder... and why you came across this early (although harmless) boss. "I could help you to the surface you know, on one condition.."

You silently celebrate. This could be your way out! "What's the condition?" You crossed your fingers, hoping it was nothing more than an easy side quest. "When we reach the surface, I want us to become a party." Now you're stumped again, lost just as you were before "but- I already have a party" you try to explain, but the king shook his head.

"I see no party members beside you, if you truly were part of a group, they would have found by now, not let you wonder on your own. You can't do this on your own. Let me join you." He had a point, and the king was rather powerful, hence why you needed a full party to take him down...

You still feel hesitant, worried that you might make the wrong choice, but you have little choice, you could either accept, and you'll have a powerful enemy by your side that can easily be leveled up, or decline and find your way back on your own.

[kiskisur]

Hello again! How are you faring? I would like to request some smut with Alhaitham/Neuvillette with a ftm! male reader who is a really famous defense attorney/prosecutor from Fontaine ( ´∀｀)

Pretty boy

warnings: NSFW, sub!ftm!reader x dom!neuvilette, reader has a pussy, praising, basically neuvilette worshipping your body because yes, breeding kink sure

note: been dying to literally write this while playing with a friend ily omg but I'm good ~ thank you for asking!! <3

edited note: I don't know how to describe a pussy so I apologize for any mistakes!

IMPORTANT <- must read.

IMPORTANT 2.

you were a famous attorney in the whole fontaine, fighting for criminals and defending them but who knew you would be in this situation?

"ngg.. g-good boy." he purred seductively in your ear, kneading on your ass to help you relax.

you were a mess under him, too dizzy and fucked out to even think straight, you were gorgeous in his eyes.

"archons, you look absolutely stunning.. ah-" he shuddered, feeling your walls tighten around him at the praise as he laughed softly.

"does the pretty boy like being praised? receiving his treat?" he cooed, kissing your forehead as he thrusted so much deeper now.

he wanted to ravish you, seeing you dumb all over his cock turned him on so much he would snap any second now.

but remembering how you were oh so stressed from earlier after defending a horrible criminal had him focused on pleasing you

"n-neuvilette! I'm gonnA- mmf cum..! pleasepleaseplease let me cum!" you were practically crying at the tight knot forming in your stomach, your walls clenching around him.

his hand reached down to play and rub your clit, earning a whine and cry from you as you arched your back at the sudden sensation.

"that's it, good boy shh.. cum for me." he was praising and worshipping your body by now, leaving any place untouched and not kissed.

"s-so tight around me- I-I might as well just fill you up with my cum, yeah? you want me to cum inside you and fill you up with my k-kids?" he spoke such lewd words to you, making you squirm and nod eagerly before wrapping your legs around his waist and pulling him closer.

you enjoyed how deep he was, through out all your relationships not once anyone dared to even go deeper into you, causing your needs to grow every second.

he growled, his thrusts increasing and going rougher as he panted heavily and bit your neck.

your eyes rolled back at the overwhelming pleasure hitting you like waves. your vision blurring white when finally you came, whining and moaning his name.

his gaze darkened as he listened to his name slipping out of your lips, roughly thrusting into you deeper and harder now as he chased his own release, the overstimulation caused you to cry out and scratch his back like a cat.

"t-toO much! neuvilette plEa-" you were cut off by him kissing you, slipping his tongue in as he danced with yours as well, swallowing your cries and moans.

when he pulled away something warm spilled inside you, a groan filling the air as he shuddered and came inside you.

"sh- g-good boy, pretty boy nnghh.." he closed his eyes, trying to process everything as he raised his head to admire your gorgeous form, full of love bites, a slight bruise on your waist and your hair sticking to your forehead from sweating.

you were gorgeous in his eyes, you could've sworn you saw heart shapes in his pupils, laughing softly as you leaned closer and kissed his cheek.

"I have a trial tomorrow, you're dead if my walks turn wobbly like a slime." you glare at him, causing him to pout and slip out of you.

"aww, why not? It'll be cute would it not?" he teased, carrying you bridal style to the bathroom.

"NEUVILETTE!!! (NAME)!!!!" neuvilette froze when you heard a scream right outside his door, fuck, focalors is gonna kill you now you better pray to the archons at this point.

[marclef]

*Looks at Fake Peppino* What is he made of anyways?Pizza dough?,Slime?The slime you see on AMSAR on YouTube videos?Not to mention if he can shapeshift into Peppino being the doppelganger Fake Peppino is can't hr shapeshift into anything else?

..... okay, serious answer now though. he IS Goop, for lack of a better term. a Goop consisting of the DNA of Peppino, old pizzas, and frogs (a very specific type of frog! 😉) how does all that work together to form a working clone? i dunno, it's ✨SCIENCE!!!✨

as for how it'd feel, i do compare him to Silly Putty a lot, but more like putty that's been dampened or made squishier, though it depends: he can be tougher or squishier if need be, or depending on his surroundings; for example a colder environment will make his "skin" firmer and more snappy, harder to stretch himself.

in terms of being able to shapeshift, my Fake is an interesting case, he can't actually morph his body as much as other clones can. so if say, he tried to make himself look more like Noisette, his best efforts would be stretching his hat to be more like bunny ears, and his "hair" to be like hers, but not a true "transformation".

but, he CAN manipulate his body very well in other ways! he's extremely stretchy, like stretching his limbs and body as far as they're needed. he could potentially stretch into a matter of odd shapes and sized, but as for truly mimicking something, that's a different story.

behold, an elegant form: .... a LONG Fake Peppino!! probably one of the biggest extremes he could reach, but there's all sorts of shapes a Fake can take!

[casual-praxis]

“Those awful, ravenous rainbows.”

Shadow’s Slime Rancher AU design is finally complete! I may have procrastinated getting it done a little, but ironically he’s the only one whose design I had completely figured out. I can already tell he's going to be a pain to draw more than once lmao.

(Sorry if this one looks wonky, I drew it entirely on my phone instead of sketching on paper like I usually do. It did not make the process any faster sadly.)

I intended for him to have both Tarr inspiration as well as hunter slime, but the bulk of it ended up being Tarr related and the only potential nods are the yellow stripes on his pants and the claws on his gloves. Very impractical, but Shadow doesn't really do the normal ranching stuff anyway.

As always, more details about him below the cut!

+ Shadow was the second person to arrive at the shared ranch, although the gap between his arrival time and Red's was much shorter than the one between him and Vio. As a result, he was still learning the ropes alongside Red for a while. This helped the two bond while also driving Vio slightly (more) insane.

+ While he does find the slimes to be cute, Shadow much prefers the vibe of the Tarr, hence his jacket theming. The others don't really understand his choices, but so long as he doesn't intentionally bring one back to the range, they don't mind it.

+ Everyone had their outfits tailored by Shadow. It's just one of his many miscellaneous unconnected talents. He can also play the piano, speak three different languages, do a perfect split (among other things), and partially keep up with Vio in the lab. Asking about where he learned any of these things gets a wildly different explanation each time.

+ Shadow pays the most attention to the plort market. He goes to the board immediately after breakfast to check what's going on with it for the day, despite the fact he doesn't have any slimes of his own. Depending on what's high value, he'll hunt down whoever has said high-value plorts and let them know it's time to crash the market.

If he doesn't have a stream planned, or has time to spare before one, he'll spend that time helping move plorts where they need to be.

+ Streaming is something Shadow had always been passionate about, but he just wasn't getting any traction back on Earth. It was hard to stand out even with his odd assortment of skills, so that's how he ended up moving to the Far, Far Range. With literally no one else to compete with, he very quickly found success in livestreaming his day-to-day there.

As a nice bonus, he does genuinely enjoy being out on the range. His viewers mostly stick around for him and his wacky roommates at this point, even if a few more streamers have popped up in the area since.

+ One of the first things Shadow ever said to Red was, "Vio is lying. He has more than one," with absolutely zero follow up context. Like, more than one what? Slimes? Plorts?? It took him a bit, but he did figure it out eventually. Green and Blue are still in the dark, but Shadow finds their confusion hilarious, even more so since Vio won't explain either.

+ Pretty much right from the get-go, Shadow was flirting with everyone. The other's always had such funny reactions to it, he wasn't even mad when he caught actual feelings for them. Vio would flirt back harder (which Shadow was not expecting), Red always took a moment to realize he was being flirted with (to which he'd start fumbling through his own attempts before laughing at how silly it sounded), Green would get incredibly embarrassed (Shadow was delighted to find out Green's ears light up too), and Blue similarly got embarrassed (but brushed it off a lot quicker and would usually chase Shadow off).

No surprise, Shadow was the first one to suggest they all date each other. By the time he mentioned it, they were all basically married anyway. All their stuff was merged and it's not like anyone was going to move out. Plus, different pairings kept getting caught doing couply-stuff, might as well make it official.

+ He gets lost most often, to the point where Green constantly has to go out and look for him. It's a running joke on his streams that whenever Shadow tries to show chat something he found in a different direction than he was originally heading, one of the mods needs to start a prediction (point-based betting poll) on whether or not they should call for Green now or later.

Green is attempting to get Vio's help in making a tracker for these specific situations, but negotiations keep falling through.

"You can't make him wear a collar, Vio, that's demeaning."

"It fits his brand. I don't think he'd mind."

"Why's it have to be a collar? Can't it be something less weird?"

"It's symbolic."

"No."

(A collar may or may not actually be added to his design. It can even have a little nameplate on it with instructions on how to deal with the lost little feral cat should anyone find him, because Vio thinks he's funny.)

[zhongrin]

To the kinich post

why can we kill baby monsters and not cats. Or dogs. Can we kill the foxes on Inazuma? The seals yes.

Hoyo is weirdly specific with that is a monsterlife lesser then a stereotype pet?

Or do cats symbolise something else in the game because of Venti being allergic?? (He is a fucking WHISP not even human he is just copying an appearence how the fuck does he have an allergy??? HE CONTROLS THE WIND HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS EVEN-)

We are the monsters here.

Have u seen the hilichurl just chilling around. The slimes playing? The evolved hilichurl watching the world? They use instruments. Slimes to fly. They know how to use instruments. Pyro slimes for explosion. Dendro to create shields (how the fuck i want that too) anemo to transport and fly.

They have a fucking language. Most are former people. We are just to ignorant and fearful to realize we've been killing sentient people who laugh and have fun and have their own traditions and-

*falls over and gets carried away by an exasperated husband* "...I know I shouldn't have given you a sight to the over darkness."

ok nvm i lied i didn't (can't) sleep bc of all the noises outside (yay /s) so here goesー

hskdjskdj no idea i mean game-design wise it makes sense sure, but lore wise??? idk why we're attacking these natlan ppl and their saurians, they look normal and are mostly just chilling in nature... why are we beating them up? lore wise? i don't think there's an explanation for it?? maybe they 'got too excited' like what the daily quests says and we're just calming them down?? lmao

and again if we approach it lore wise, it doesn't make sense for the traveler to continue killing the hilichurls either?? at this point they know what the hilichurls are. so yeah, it's all for the sake of gameplay orz

........

hnmmm. here's an idea...

cw. not proofread, word vomit, violence/light gore

you get isekai'd into teyvat. you're worshipped as the creator and all that pizzazz; we all know how it goes so i'm not going to explain further.

now imagine, one day you decide to stroll through the lands, accompanied by a few select people; perhaps the 'main team' you always use for exploration in-game. a few ways away, you see a camp of hilichurls. obviously you know what they actually are, and you got curious if you could do something for them, right? i mean, being the creator, an all powerful entity, you might even be able to reverse their curse? who knows? better try it out!

so you step closer to try and communicate with them.

but to your utter surprise, instead of doing so, you find your body moving on its own, hand raised to grab the nearest character's weapon, before swinging with the full intention to kill.

thud.

the blade decapitates the poor creature's head.

as it rolls on the ground and you stare at the gruesome sight in both horror and denial, bile rising from the back of your throat, your acolytes follow your example and proceeds to eradicate the entire camp.

your will is their command, after all.

you can't even scream. you can't find your voice. nit because of fear or sadness or frustrationー you just can't.

once they finish, they return to you, expecting praise and adoration, only to be greeted by tears and muffled sobs. they don't understand why you were crying; even before your descent to teyvat, haven't you been commanding them to do the same thing, countless times? they try to offer you the remnants of the hilichurls' bloodied masks and divine scrolls ー you've always liked receiving those! why are you crying harder? what did they do wrong?

you look like you were trying to say something, but they find the words leaving your mouth is of a language they have never heard before.

you thought you could find a home in the world you loved so much.

but you just feel..... lost.

[spoiler/explanation below]

eventually, you realize you were no 'creator' of this world at all.

you were just a string marionette of celestia's.

'the creator' had always been an illusion; an existence They created to pull the blanket over everyone's eyes. your existence's sole purpose is to control the archons, the dragon sovereigns, and the people of teyvat. like an ignorant shepherd leading the sheeps straight to the maw of the wolves.

you weren't some all knowing creator.

you weren't even a monster.

you were never yourself at all.

[eldritch-spouse]

Piggybacking off that one anon:

What happens if we say to each of the TCE staff "you make me so dry"

This is said as Admin

"You make me so dry."

Morell is taken aback, and low-key a bit wounded, but he doesn't let it show too much. He's fucking desolate though. Huh, maybe you're not into shrooms. Doesn't matter, that can change eventually... With enough work.

Gallon snorts. He's a little bit cocky, in the sense that slimes are enjoyed by many people sexually due to their extreme flexibility and molding abilities. Even if you despise him on a personal level, he thinks you're full of shit because he knows he could make you cum your eyes out of your skull without that much effort.

Vinnel wheezes. Okay okay, that one's creative, applause where applause is due. He's quick to start hitting where it hurts however. He makes you dry because he doesn't control every aspect of your life and knead your little brains, right? It's not his fault you've been broken into extremely niche and freakish god-sex drives, go cry him a river over there.

Santi is genuinely fucking offended. But it's also a shit point. Were it not for Krulu's power within you, Santi could have you wet enough you'd slip in your own fucking slick like the slut you are, human. Watch that tongue, he can't hurt you but he will make your life harder if he deems it fair.

Grimbly is also vastly offended. Oh yeah?? Well you make him soft!!! You make him really soft, fuck you- *Sobbing*

Belo doesn't really get it at first. Dry? Are you dehydrated? How come he makes you get dehydrated, that isn't normal- Have you consulted Lord Krulu about this? When he realizes what you meant, he just sort of sulks quietly for a while.

Sybastian squints at you. Why do you feel the need to tell him this? You sound insecure about something. Does it make you feel big? Do you think he's going to throw a tantrum? He also knows it's surprisingly easy to get cute little humans like you wet and open, so if you insist he'll just give you a smug kind of "Oh yeah?" glance.

Patches just kind of goes "Yeah". He knows he doesn't exactly radiate virility. The interaction gives him a degradation boner and he sits in misery, wondering why he is the way that he is while he jerks off to the mental image of your disgusted face.

Nebul is very quick to get in your head about it. What an odd thing to say. Are you hoping he'll erupt into tears? Do you think he needs your validation to feel sexually sure of himself? This is the exact language a brat would throw at him. Really Admin, if you crave a rougher hand, all you had to do was get on your knees for the shopkeeper and ask for it. He thinks it's quite pathetic of your station to resort to petty remarks. Very amusing though.

Fank-e makes a sad face. He then starts flipping through a myriad of attachment catalogues and sharing various links with you. Select some of the components that you believe would make you wet! Then you can try those. <:] It's a bit weird you're saying that without even letting him play with you first, but the robot is willing to let you pick the best parts for the most effective results.

Krulu gives you a blazing look that suggests he could make your entire body catch fire in a millisecond if he so desired. Instead of deigning your blatant disrespect worthy of a reaction, he makes it so your body is forced to orgasm whenever you so much as glance his way, hear him, or think of him for long enough. This goes on until you beg for forgiveness.

[yearningaces]

Meet cute slime in dungeon? It’s after Valentine’s Day here but I know my time zone is usually ahead of lots of others.

Love your writing by the way 💕

I gotcha

Idk why but the slime came out far more flirty than anticipated... Do with this as you will

Adventuring is far harder work than anyone says. It's not just fighting monsters, it's learning the different body languages and mannerisms and then learning the customs of intelligent monsters so you can be civil if trying to avoid a battle and yet in some cases it's a boon more than it is a burden, mostly because-

"-Really though the first adventurer to come here without swinging their weapon around like some scared baby, and you're a cutie? Didn't I strike out with you~" what was once a blob of slime you'd helped out of the pond deep in this cavern, had enlarged in size, mimicking a humanoid form with many differences. A gelatinous texture made up the creature leaning against the cave wall, peering at you with a crooked grin a bit too wide for a human, but understandable for a slime monster.

"Well-" you cough slightly, trying to ignore the rising heat in your cheeks and ears. "You haven't done anything malicious, I don't see any reason to be aggressive without purpose."

This makes the slime hum, leaning closer, it's purple hue shimmering with the subtle cyan glow offering a rather pretty color across its surface. "Oh, how lucky I am indeed-" it moves across the cave floor, leaving a faint trail behind it, the substance similar to grease you'd see some crafters use for their tools. "And what horrible group of adventures decided to leave such a precious cutie like you all alone, hmm? I thought you'd run in packs?"

It's growing closer now, close enough to lean forward with a Cheshire grin, less than a foot away as it does so.

"u-um my group got separated in the storm, that's why I went to the cave here." You stumble over your words slightly at the blatant flirting of the slime in front of you, glowing eyes watching you with all the more amusement.

"oh, such a shame," it pouts sympathetically with no real sorrow to its tone as the smile quickly returns to its face. "Well, I make for very good company for cuties like you. Why don't I stick around so you're not left all alone by those mean adventures you travel with. Many dangers are in caves and caverns you know, I think it best I stick around just to be safe."

You nod your head silently as the cool and surprisingly solid texture of the slime reaches a fabricated hand out to grasp your own, its body tilted lower so it could look up to your eyes with your head being tilted down. "I'm so glad you agreed, sweetie~"

[islib]

I've slept, I've eaten, I've touched grass. My thoughts are a little more ordered. Let's do this:

On Railroading, Roleplay, the Social Contract and the QSMP

aka I Need To Get This Off My Chest Even Though I Want All Of Us To Move On As Quickly As Possible

So. Let's establish the narrative events as a baseline.

Since the first Purgatory event, Quesadilla Island has been plagued by visits of "Eye Workers/Eye Soldiers" - at first investigative, more recently aggressive ones.

(Side note - it appears that most characters have forgotten about this, but this is an ongoing war. As seen in Philza's [20.12.2023 - Hardcore Boi & QSMP - Xmas Event & a New threat?]:

Idk about you, this looks like a declaration of war to me. They don't care about retrieving Luffy at this point, they're just being destructive.)

This has lead to character actions. We have seen the rise of new safe rooms, fight metas, inventory prep. There's been serious parent-child talks about what to do when a fight breaks out. The characters have reacted to the threat accordingly - as a threat.

The fights have been getting harder. From the start, the Eye's minions were framed as dangerous, and perceived as such, but as time went on, they began to return with outrageously strong weapons, potion effects and health amounts that were essentially unbeatable, and unreasonable fight stamina. Still, thanks to the characters' preparations and the characters' relationships, no one lost a permanent life.

Yesterday (morning crew streams of 11.1.2023), Empanada lost a life.

The fight broke out in the Favela. The Eye Soldiers were using enchanted sticks, enchanted axes, potions, explosives and lassos. (In contrast to previous fights, which were generally only conducted with melee weapons.)

As soon as the players notice the attackers, they shout at the Eggs to get out of there. At first, the Eggs seem to ignore the shouts, wanting to help their parents. Understandable, if frustrating - both Empanada and Ramon have been on a "I need to protect everyone" kick lately, so it makes some sense.

It stops making sense very soon, though. Both the Eggs get downed multiple times, while their parents scream and plead with them to leave. Empanada gets lassoed by the workers, making her escape next to impossible - but we have proof that she got away at some point: you can see her teleporting away at 0:29:43-45 of Fit's stream and later we see her signs in Ramon's room at the bunker:

(slightly meta, forgive, it's still narratively relevant to have the proof)

The fight moves from the Favela to Spawn, Em returns to it, and dies (when she does, btw, there's no time between her getting downed and her dying. a fraction of a second at most.). The fight dies down with some curious events irrelevant to this post, scene ends.

Now that we've established narrative context, here's for a touch of the meta-narrative stuff.

The attacks haven't been ramping up linearly - they started very strong, and then alternated in strength with repeated attacks on a single day wildly varying in power levels. This attack was clearly the strongest yet - Fit's VOD shows some attacks doing minimum of 3 hearts of damage through a decent slime/diamond+high prot armor set.

The use of lassos is new - potentially a narrative show of how the Eye Soldiers are learning Player tactics? It's the main reason for why Em's death was mechanically possible.

There's been narrative in the past arcs of the server where egg death was the point of a fight encounter. It has always been possible to prevent the death in those scenarios.

There have been narrative fights that were unwinnable in the server past.

Ramon wasn't supposed to be on - his admin is sick (or otherwise indisposed and using sickness as a narrative reason for not playing) and had left a message that he wouldn't be on, only to later join anyway, likely due to the event needing Eggs to be present.

As far as I'm aware, this is the first time a player has hard-pulled themselves out of RP. (more on this in a bit)

All on the same page? Let's get to my criticism.

In roleplay, players and game facilitators enter a social contract. Very often it's an implicit one, just "don't be an idiot" and stuff, but sometimes it's more hard coded: what are the rules, what are the expectations, what are the lines we don't cross.

Now, as an audience of the QSMP, we don't know what the details of this contract are - only the players and the admins do. We can implicitly understand that parts of it contain expectations of activity on both player and admin sides, expectations of medium (i.e. Minecraft), expectations of who's participating, etc.

We've rarely seen anyone employ any sort of safety tools, although I expect at least some of the creators have some amongst themselves (think safewords mostly). The extreme safety tool that all of the streamers have access to is logging off, but I don't think we've seen that mid-encounter, ever.

Fit employed a softer safety tool yesterday, when he decided to stick with Ramon in the bunker. At 0:33:30, Fit notices footsteps outside the reinforced door. We don't get to figure out who it is, but he says: "Oh I hear you! If you're an admin, I'm fucking done. [...] We are not fucking moving." Now, some of you will argue this is in character - I disagree. It's semi-in character, simply thanks to the word "admin". Fit keeps some semblance of his roleplay, for any number of reasons, but addresses the admin, taking himself out of roleplay in order to declare he didn't wish to continue in the encounter.

The fact that he partially stays in character makes it easier for both him and the audience to rejoin the character later.

What's really important here is that the admin - whoever it was (I think at that point it may have been Em - backs off. Fit declares he's not playing, and the admin hears that and leaves. Even if it was Em, and whatever was going to happen wasn't going to be in the same tome as the fight encounter, they backed off. That is very good.

Now to the more narrative points.

These Eye Soldier attacks have been clear in their motives: hurt everyone on Quesadilla. Narratively, the characters responded appropriately, by gearing up and protecting the fragile Eggs.

How did the server lore respond? Well, it didn't.

The attacks continue on some invisible timeline, getting superpowered out of nowhere when the players preparations pay off, and the Eggs, despite their general agreements and character motivations, keep running head first into danger.

The only reason I'm not trying to push into a riot over Em's death is the lassos, because those make it mechanically difficult for her to stay away.

In conclusion, the main issue I have with yesterday is the consequences. If the only way to protect your child is to literally pull yourself out of the encounter - because clearly the narrative implication of yesterday is not only will the Eye Soldiers keep going until an Egg is dead, but also that Eggs will be coming back to fight unless they're actually restrained - then who's going to be playing in this arc? Why would anyone, when temporary victory only means more Soldiers with more power, and Eggs that are less likely to leave the fight?

If there was a clear narrative indication that these attacks can be stopped - a clue towards Luffy, or a conversation with the Federation on defences, or a clear sense of what can protect someone against the Eyes - I would be fine with what happened yesterday.

But there isn't. Nothing that's been done has had ANY effect on the events.

I've seen people going "well we've seen this coming" and to them I say: how does that make anything better? That just means there's been time to notice that the narrative line ignored player agency!

I've seen people going "well the players don't take anything seriously until an Egg dies" and to them I say: Morning Crew went out to look for Luffy literally yesterday, trying to move the story along. People have been building safe rooms and preparing fight supplies and player metas so they could defend themselves and their families, they've been taking this very seriously.

I've seen people going "even interactive stories have scripted beats" and to them I say: not at the expense of player agency, not in something as freeform as QSMP. This is not a Telltale game.

I don't think my criticisms are unreasonable - all I want is for the narrative to be actually interactive. To even a little bit allow for players to play, rather than act out someone's unwritten script.

That's what movies are for.

[calypsoarts]

Do you have any tips for people trying to start learning pixel art and animation?

I really love your work, it all looks so alive!

Hey thank you very much! And yes! I can give a few tips! Firstly, don't worry about making things absolutely perfect! Figure things out, mess around with colors, take it easy!

I'd say on top of the basic stuff, figure out and get used to keybinds and shortcuts on your program of choice. Aseprite (which is my go-to) has a lot of shortcuts and the ability to make more depending on preference.

From there, start out small, this'll help a lot in the start, since each pixel makes more of a difference when on a smaller canvas like 16x16 compared to something like 512x512. You should also take in as much info as you can, watch video tutorials, ask around, join communities, etc. (Cafe Dot Discord is a good place for that.)

If you have a preference on what you'd like to work on, like characters, items, weapons, etc. Start there. It's so much easier getting into things if you're starting with something you love. Colors aren't anything you need to specifically worry about right out the gate. One thing to get into a good habit of is using grayscale to work with the values, and then if your program of choice allows it, go over it with a color layer and the colors you want and see the magic happen!

Animation is a little more complex, but when you're ready for it, there's the principles of animation that I'd recommend looking into. Learning how the fundamentals work is necessary for things to go by smoother. I started out making an animation of a slime bouncing up and down, one of the earliest animations I made. Afterwards I went and started making waterfalls, that got me into the mindset of how to loop animations. Once you get the hang of it, animations (looping ones specifically) is just a lot of small parts moving at the same time, that little bit of movement to follow does a lot to a piece comparatively to a still image.

Overall, like I said in the beginning, don't worry about things, and it'll come with time. Expecting yourself to get something on the first try will only make things harder for yourself, you have to allow mistakes and messing up, experimentation and accidents are how a lot of people make things look as good as they do.

If all of this is a bit much, it's cause it is. Take it bit by bit and pretty soon you'll be impressing yourself so much you'll be shocked at the amount of improvement you've made.

(pssst, here's a playlist I made for starting pixel art, and its in order of complexity, so as you go down the list, your ability will improve)

Playlist

[endlessdreamworld]

Hey hey! Since your requests are open at the moment. What would any yandere genshin character's Interact with a Very clumsy Reader. Just imagine. The yandere watching the reader walk before tripping on their feet. Or maybe accidentally slipping onto leaves? That would be funny and I would definitely love to see their interaction!

Sorry to make you wait. I wanted to do a few shorter form responses, but this came out on accident. If you want more, please feel free to send in a request. Clumsy Reader X Diluc Ragnvindr

It started like any typical day in Mondstat. Markets were bustling, bards were performing, knights were patrolling, and the city was thriving. The sky was filled with a growing amount of storm clouds that were a welcome addition to a sweltering hot midsummer day.

For you though, this was a very irregular day with one unfortunate event chained after the other. A bag of flour went rogue in the bakery and you ended up completely covered in the stuff. Of course the bakery gave you bread as compensation for the situation – a lot of it. Ironically, this made everything much harder because the sheer amount of bread made the trip home cumbersome. Because of this delay and new handicap, by the time you were able to get your errands finished and your affairs in order it started pouring rain when you had just started the trip home. The flour that still coated your skin and clothes had turned to watered down sodden slime.

By the time you finally arrived at the front door of your home the compensation bread was ruined, and your clothes were heavy and cold with dripping rain. All you could think about was taking a nice hot bath and changing into dry clothes and climbing into your dry warm bed. You almost fainted though, when you reached into your pocket to retrieve your house key and found nothing. Your bones itched, your nose burned, the stress was transcendent. Honestly if you died at that moment you’d be fine with it, because you certainly wished you were dead.

You did your best to take a breath, though you were borderline crying at this point. The sun had set long ago, and it was pitch black. You had no idea where your keys could be, and worst of all, it was still fucking raining.. You dropped the bag and it landed with a wet heavy flop. You’d just have to deal with that in the morning.

You started retracing your steps back to the bakery. It’s incredibly likely you left them inside, which would be the worst possible scenario because you didn’t have enough money to stay at the inn. Then it finally dawned on you that there was no happy ending here, and you might need to find a place and just wai—

Air, vertigo. You fell.  

You’re not sure if you slipped on something, or if you misstepped outright, but what you did know is that you were in the elevated part of town, and you had a long way to go. Could it be? The death you wished for? You accepted this ironic, tragic fate with a sardonic smile.

And just like that…

A sharp tugging on your wrist. Something – no… someone grabbed your hand before you fell too far. You opened your eyes, and saw someone holding you up by the wrist, but between the rain and the ambient darkness, you couldn’t get a proper look at them.

“You know, you really need to be more careful.” You felt a firm tug and then you found yourself on solid ground. The stranger who had saved you stood before you. “What are you doing outside during a rainstorm in the middle of the night?”

You were about to answer, but your savior tugged on your wrist again. The figure led you to The Angel’s Share bar which, luckily, was nearby. Now you had the protection of the bar’s awning to shield you from the rain. The shadowy figure looks at you expectantly. “Right, so it all started when…” You took your time to explain the situation step by step as to how you got here.

“So you’re locked out of your own home, and have no money for an overnight stay at the inn. Does that sound right?”

You nod. The shadow figure put his hand to the bottom of his chin in thought. “Very well, I understand the situation completely now. And... I have a solution.”

You could scarcely believe what you were hearing. “It’s simple really,” You could hear the sound of light jingling ever so slightly through the heavy droning of the rain. The mysterious figure handed you something, a pouch filled with… mora. So much mora!! This is way more mora than you would need for the inn.

You look up at your shadowclad mystery knight slack jawed. “Think nothing of it.” He sounded flustered. “Now come along, the inn is this way.” The figure walked with you the entire way to the inn, and then a thought crossed your mind. ‘Did he think you were going to take the money and run off? 

No.

Absolutely not. Your mystery knight just wanted to be sure you made it safely to the inn considering you could have died if you took the fall intended for you earlier. Speaking of your knight… Was he one of the Knights of Favonius? He certainly wasn't dressed like one. You walked in comfortable silence, or as comfortable as it could be when you’re so cold you were in physical pain and your teeth were chattering as loudly as the falling rain.

You arrived at the inn. You turned to thank your mystery knight, but when you did you saw nothing, just empty darkness. He must have left silently when he saw you made it safely to the inn. It was frustrating, because you really did want to thank him, but you were unfortunately left unsatisfied in that department. The rest of the night was a blur that ended with your face planting into a lush feather bed.

You woke up the following day, miraculously not sick. though you weren't going to complain about that. You returned to the bakery which was in fact where you left your key and headed back home. FINALLY, you were home, but you saw something unexpected on your doorstep.

Where you expected to find a gloopy pile of paper and gluten was instead a basket with a replacement of all of the ruined goods that got trashed in last night’s storm. Your mind wandered back to your mystery knight, but it’s not like you were going to get an answer so you cut your losses and moved on.

And so it was yet another typical day in Mondstat. Markets were bustling, bards were performing, knights were patrolling, and the city was thriving. You had plenty to do today, but there was an extra pep in your step. The mora you received from your mysterious hero was going to be a tremendous boost to your quality of life.

Unfortunately, it seems like there was simply too much pep in your step since you missed your footing – again. And found yourself plummeting towards the lower part of town… again. Then you felt a sharp tugging on your wrist….. Again? A wave of deja vu washed over me.

“You know, you really need to be more careful.” Today was almost a mirror image of the previous day, but unlike yesterday, the view of the person holding you by the wrist was bright and clear. His head was backlit by the sun, looking fittingly, just like a shining halo.

 Holding you by your wrist was Diluc Ragnvindr of the Dawn Winery.

[ashgunnywolf]

Being a freak of nature is hard. Being the freak of nature spawn of two other freaks of nature is harder. Being the manifestation of the trauma of the two biggest fucking idiots on the planet is downright unbearable. Being stuck in a damned thermos for fucking YEARS? Torture.

It's only natural to want to burn all of existence to the ground. To make everyone else hurt exactly as much as he does. Who cares about the universe? No one who lives there ever loved him. Not all of him. Not the ugly parts.

And there's nothing left of him but ugly parts.

Danny, fool that he is, couldn't bear the vision of what he could become, so he quite literally bottled him up and ripped him out of reality and asked the undead god of time to pretty please keep this awful thing on your shelf where I don't have to look at it.

He couldn't even sleep in the thermos. Did time even pass outside the insulated metal walls of the thermos, in the halls of Clockwork's lair? It felt like eternity. Existing without sensation, drifting in limbo, unable to even move... Surely this was hell. What he deserved.

And when confronted with that wicked thermos again, all the oceans of anger and rage and hatred parted, and everyone could see what he really was.

Lonely. And scared.

He didn't want to be alone again.

He wasn't a version of Danny that was driven to madness. He was a Vlad who refused to accept that he was all alone, and he was a Danny who couldn't bear the reality of how alone he really was.

And more than that, he was that kindred energy drawn together into one being.

How dare others have families? How could anyone even think to feel things like joy and comfort when he was so alone? Didn't anyone CARE?!

And then this reality's Vlad gave him a body. He looked like Danny again. He was human again, something that can eat and sleep and shit.

When he was pulled from the stasis tank and given a towel to wipe the slime off his skin - he had SKIN again, real human skin with blood vessels and a pleasant pinkish hue instead of undead grey - Vlad called him Daniel.

"How do you feel, Daniel?"

He winced despite himself.

"What is it?"

"I... I don't know what to call myself," he admitted. "I AM Danny, but you know as well as I that half of me is you."

Vlad furrowed his brow. "I see." He sat in silence for a moment, then asked, "Would you like to choose a name? It doesn't have to be right now."

He shrugged. "I suppose."

Vlad placed a hand on his shoulder. "I can't imagine what you feel right now. You've been through so much..."

He wrapped his arms around himself, and it struck him how natural it felt to be so small again. "You know some of it. You lived it, to a point."

"Right." Vlad slouched, looking away. "Driven by what I thought was vengeance. But all along, I was just afraid of accepting the truth. That I was alone."

He interjected, "So was Danny. He was driven to cleaving himself in two because he couldn't bear the loneliness either."

He continued, "The two of you are more alike than you realize. Not only because you're both half-ghost. You're two of a kind. Why else would the worst parts of the two of you fuse so seamlessly... into this?" He gestured at himself. "Selfish, petty, vindictive... lonely..."

Vlad took the towel and ruffled it over his soaked hair. "I wanted Daniel to be my son. Not just to punish Jack. I truly wanted him by my side."

He chuckled. "I remember." He drummed his fingers on his knee, feeling the bones vibrate under his flesh from the gentle impact.

"If it's any consolation, he wanted you in his own way." He shrugged. "I can't speak to how he feels about you now, after everything that's happened..."

"That's alright."

"...but if I were to guess, I'd say part of him is still drawn to you."

Vlad raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

He was about to reply when his stomach gurgled. His eyebrows shot upward and he clutched his gut. "I'm... hungry."

A small smile crept onto Vlad's face. "So you are. What would you like to eat?"

He looked down at his feet and thought about it. "I don't know. What would you eat?"

"I was planning to have lobster with bechamel and a side of asparagus."

He nodded slowly. "That sounds good."

Vlad laughed. "Better than Daniel's usual diet of Nasty Burger, right?"

He snarled, baring his teeth - flat human teeth, not his fangs, so some of the bite was lost.

"Not a fan of Nasty Burger? Neither am I."

He glared at Vlad. "I do NOT want to talk about that."

Vlad held up his hands in surrender. "Fair enough."

Lunch... was nice. He hadn't realized how much he missed eating. Properly eating, not just tearing people's flesh with his teeth.

Vlad kept looking up at him from across the table and smiling. He tried hiding it from him, only doing it when he thought he wasn't looking, but it was obvious.

He didn't hold it against the man. He enjoyed the company, too. It was nice to not be alone anymore.

[skelavender]

prompt from @pookie-mulder. i got carried away and this is technically a ficlet instead of a drabble, so it's below the cut!

There’s a gang that is supposedly using a slime monster to terrorize a rival gang, Scully might have had a conversation with a vulture, and she had woken up wearing lipstick a couple shades darker than any she owns with no memory of how it had gotten there. 

Scully does not think today can get any weirder. 

(She’s wrong.)

She and Mulder are currently sitting on a park bench, bodies close as usual, observing a suspect who might have the object used to control the goopy entity. It is likely that he will use it tonight, given the pattern, and Scully is hoping for at least a sample of the slime to analyze. He’s glancing sideways at them from across the clearing. 

They probably should have thought to make this an undercover operation earlier, but instead Mulder has made himself known to pertinent parties who are now making their lives much harder. They were only in the city because of the slime monster, they didn’t give a shit about the gangs, but had stumbled upon them. Hence the badge-waving.

The suspect turns his head towards them again, squinting this time, as if trying to figure out why they look familiar. Mulder’s jacket is off and his shirtsleeves are rolled up to his elbows, thankfully giving him a slightly less fed-y look. Thankfully, he hasn’t yet met Scully, or else her hair would be a dead giveaway. The man steps towards them.

“Mulder.” Scully nods to the guy, then looks back up at her partner.

“Do you think he’s recognized me?”

Scully ponders, and her eyes land on his lips. “If he hasn’t, there’s one way to make sure he doesn’t.” She scootches into his side and lifts his arm to curl around her shoulders. He gets the message, and pulls her further into his side. They share a coupley smile. 

“Is he dissuaded yet, Scully?” Mulder asks, still with an adoring twinkle in his eye. 

Scully glaces. “Nope.”

“Any more bright ideas?”

Scully’s eyes drift down to his lips again. She reaches for the side of his face. “One.” She pulls him down to her, and they’re kissing. 

She tries not to gasp when Mulder’s lips brush across hers, but it’s difficult. She can;t tell if she succeeds or not, because she’s lost in him. 

When they finally break apart, Scully has found her legs draped across Mulder’s lap, and her arms around his neck like she’s holding him there, like she never wants to let him go. Maybe she doesn’t. 

“Did it work?” She asks, lips still lightly brushing his.

“I think so. Good thinking.”

“Uh huh.” Scully’s brain is mush. “Public displays of affection tend to… divert unwanted attention.”

“Good thinking.”

Scully removes her legs from Mulder’s lap, but his arm stays around her shoulders. She lifts an eyebrow, questioning. “Well, it would be much weirder for onlookers if we were to go from 100 to 0 that fast.”

“Sure, Mulder.” She redirects her attention to where the man had previously been standing. “Is that goop?”

“Slime.” Mulder corrects.

“Sure, Mulder. Whatever it is, I want a sample.”

[thehappyfeminist-22]

Since we're all doing Ed whump, I thought I would throw this out there. This is technically Stede whump, too, because the poor guy is going through it.

Modern AU where Ed is in the hospital. He's been injured somehow and is in a coma, hooked up to all sorts of scary machines, including a ventilator. Stede stays right by his side, worrying and wringing his hands. He tries to put on a brave face, but he's so scared. Ed looks so small in that hospital bed and he's far too pale for Stede's liking. Stede does all he can for him, holding his hand and talking to him (he doesn't know if Ed can even hear him, but on the off chance that he can, he's going to make damn sure Ed knows he's there and he's safe), reading to him, gently wiping around his eyes and the corners of his mouth with a cool cloth, making sure his lips don't get too dry. He brushes his hair, too, but there's not much he can do with Ed on his back and all the tube's in the way. He kisses his forehead and whispers that he loves him so much and promises that he'll be right here when Ed wakes up, although he's terrified by the possibility that he might not. Stede tries to keep himself occupied as best he can by reading and doing word searches and keeping all their friends updated on Ed's condition. He tries playing his Switch, but all his favorite games remind him of Ed. The farm they made together on Stardew Valley, the island Ed helped him build and decorate on Animal Crossing, the ranch they built on Slime Rancher, the intricate world that they crafted from scratch on Minecraft. He can't bear to touch any of them without Ed to play with him. He can't focus on any of it for very long anyway because his eyes keep drifting up to the frail man in the bed. He spends hours just watching Ed breathe. Their friends visit in shifts and have to pry Stede away from Ed's bedside so he can go get some food at the cafeteria. There is a couch in Ed's room, but it's uncomfortable and they can tell Stede hasn't been sleeping much. It goes on like this for days (weeks?) and Stede is trying so, so hard not to lose hope, that his precious Ed is still in there somewhere, but the doctors are starting to tell him that he might have to make a decision soon, and he's starting to realize that he might never hear Ed's voice or see those beautiful brown eyes again. He sits by Ed's bedside and breaks down into tears late one night and pleads with him to wake up, to please come back to him, don't leave him in this world alone. Ed doesn't stir. Stede buries his face in his hands and cries impossibly harder. Then he hears something. A tapping sound. He looks up and Ed's hand is moving, flailing helplessly and bumping into the railing on his hospital bed. Stede grabs it and squeezes and pleads even more desperately for Ed to wake up, please just wake up, please come back to him! A few tense seconds tick by. The only sound in the room is the steady beeping of the machines.

And then Ed opens his eyes.

They're wide and scared but so full of life that fresh tears of joy pour down Stede's face.

Ed has never liked hospitals. Stede can tell by the way he's squeezing his hand so tight that he's scared and agitated and he wants this stuff off him NOW, but Stede squeezes back and tells him that everything is going to be okay, they'll get this scary ventilator off him soon, as he calls desperately for the nurses.

The nurses tell Stede that he should step out of the room while they get Ed unhooked from the ventilator, but there's absolutely no separating them. They just have to work around Stede as best they can because Ed won't let go of his hand. Ed chokes a little as they remove the tube from his throat, but he visibly relaxes once it's out. When things finally calm down and it's just the two of them, Ed tries to talk, but his throat is so sore and he hasn't talked for so long that he can only make a pitiful, garbled noise come out. Stede gently shushes him and tells him not to try to talk just yet, to save his energy. He keeps reassuring Ed over and over that he's safe and everything is going to be okay. Ed manages to motion that he's hungry. Of course he is, the poor guy hasn't eaten in days, but his stomach is very sensitive because of this, so Stede manages to scrounge up some warm broth for him just to get something in his stomach and it feels so good on his throat. Ed can't quite manage the spoon on his own just yet, so Stede sits on the edge of his bed and carefully feeds him the broth one sip at a time.

Later, they're cuddled up together in Ed's hospital bed and Stede says, "You came back," like he can hardly believe it. Ed manages a very weak, "Never left."

They have a long road of recovery ahead of them, but everything is going to be okay.