#it depends on a lot of outside factors right now as well as my own feelings and even ability to keep writing because of it.

[angeldrawsstuffs]

Hi Angel back again to offer her unsolicited meta opinions about Lego themes (specifically Dreamzzz).

So, because of recent leaks, I’ve seen some speculation online Dreamzzz is going to come to an early end, possibly not making it past 2025. Now, before we go any further, let me make something extremely clear:

That is all rumors and speculation based on different rumors/alleged leaks about a canceled large set. To my knowledge, nobody who has actually worked on the theme in any capacity (show or sets) has said anything in relation to either of these. The information about the canceled big set came from leakers and the other speculation derived from that. This is ALL hearsay from the past 24-48 hours. Nothing is official, take it with a pinch of salt.

Ok now that we’re on the same page about the validity (or potentially lack thereof) of the claims/speculation, time to get into a mini rant/ramble I have so Buzzfeed-ishly titled:

Why Dreamzzz Being Cancelled Would NOT be a Good Thing AT ALL For Lego (and why even non-fans should care!)

So, you may ask: “Angel, why would you say this is a negative for Lego as a whole? Themes get canceled early all the time! In the hypothetical-and-currently-unsubstantiated-scenario Dreamzzz is canceled, it wouldn’t have that much of an impact!” well, nonexistent strawman I made up because I suck at making my point, it has to do with the way original Lego IPs are currently set up. Like it or hate it (or in between!), the beginning of Dreamzzz, even a before that, one could argue, was the start of a new era for how Lego handles their IPs. Gone are the days of getting multiple new themes a year, each lasting a planned 2-3 years, before entering a mapped out and anticipated retirement, maybe being cut short or extended a bit depending on sales. From what I’ve observed, it seems the priority is longevity of a theme over quantity of themes. Another factor is this is the ideas from those many themes over the past few decades have been slowly merged into other, larger themes like City, Friends, or even Ninjago. So, back in ye olden days of the 90s to the 2010s, a theme (specifically an original IP) being cut short was no big deal because there were like- 3-4 others running alongside it and several more in the foreseeable future. But, currently, that’s not the case because Dreamzzz is the only new IP to release and be running in the 2020s. Think about Lego’s currently running original IPs, not original themes as a whole (Icons, Creator, Ideas, etc.), but IPs (Ninjago, Power Miners, Atlantis, etc.). As of right now there’s really only four:

City, Friends, Ninjago, and Dreamzzz.

Take Dreamzzz out and you’re left with three. As much as it sucks, Dreamzzz being canceled won’t bring back the old format of IPs, in fact, I personally believe it would push back any return of that format or a similar one even further. Why do I believe this? Well, unfortunate as it may be, we’ve seen this song and dance before with plenty of other brands. New, original thing fails, executive people have to look at the “why”, and the conclusion is that people just don’t want new stuff and we should rehash the same stuff over and over and over again. Obviously that’s the very WRONG conclusion, but look at Disney and Pixar as a prime example of this. Of course I have a LOT (like- a lot a lot) more faith in Lego than I do the mouse, but do we really want to run that risk?

Also, circling back to my point about IPs being cut earlier than planned wasn’t as big a deal back then because there were a bunch of others already out and planned for release that could fill that void quick. But now? With the new formatting for IPs? As far as we know, there’s no new Lego IPs planned for the foreseeable future. Unless Lego’s somehow kept some new IP under such wraps that not a single person outside the company, not even online leakers, have found anything out about it, even its existence, (which very rarely happens to my own knowledge), there’s nothing currently planned. If Dreamzzz goes, there’s nothing to take its place or keep new IPs chugging along.

So then, hypothetically say Dreamzzz is canceled and doesn’t make it to 2026 (which, I am going to say I do not think will happen, I personally believe, if the big set being cancelled is true, it may be to make room for smaller, more affordable sets, since that’s the most consistent criticism of the theme as a whole). What then? Well, if the path most other companies have taken of “nobody wants new things” comes into effect, then that would probably mean not getting another new IP for a while. While Ninjago, City, and Friends all have a lot to offer, it’s clear people want something new. To be clear, it’s not the guaranteed path in this hypothetical-and-currently-unsubstantiated-scenario.

What’s my solution? Well, I’m a teenager on the internet with no business knowledge or expertise in any kind of related field so OBVIOUSLY I’m qualified to talk on this (/lh /s). But, in all seriousness, the best I can say is make criticisms known, but with the stipulation of that the theme should be able to continue and buff out the dents, as I would argue we’ve seen happening. I believe Dreamzzz has potential, a lot of it. But losing that potential to an early cancellation could possibly spell trouble down the road for Lego’s original IPs.

Once again, this is just a sleep deprived Angel spewing her opinions onto the internet. Hope I made my point clear enough and that this isn’t a totally incoherent mess of a post. Also, I’m personally not looking to debate/have to defend my thoughts here, as shallow as that may seem, so if you disagree vehemently with every word: that’s alright! I’m just not interested in an online back and forth about it (especially cuz I’m a terrible debater, lol-). Anyway, thanks for reading this long-ass post if you’re still here, have a wonderful rest of your day/night, and wear your seatbelt! /ref

[sketch-shepherd-art]

Alright so I’ve finally finished all of Make Your Mark on Netflix (I have no interest in Tell Your Tale) and, well… I certainly have thoughts. Unfortunately I felt MLP G5 (even including A New Generation) was pretty weak. I don't HATE G5 of course, but it certainly has problems. Not counting the ton of continuity errors and plot holes and retcons from G4, most of the episodes + specials on their own I found flat and boring.

And yes I KNOW that G5 deserves to be its own thing and shouldn’t rely 100% on G4’s popularity but come on… a sequel series still needs SOME connection to its predecessor, and G5 has so little of it?? And the worst part is that the super sparse FIM references were for legal reasons, which makes me even wonder why bother setting it in the same universe as G4 instead of just making a complete reboot. And yes I’ve heard that the G5 comics actually go deeper into the lore, but important worldbuilding details should be included in the show proper, not in supplemental materials. 

So yeah, that only inspired me to make even more changes for my MLP next gen AU. Starting with a bunch of different ideas I have for Opaline. More details about my revamped design and backstory for her under the cut

First off, her canon design is way too gaudy and takes away a lot of her intended scare factor, so I redesigned her with multiple variants. For all versions I removed her blue eyeshadow and the braids around her ears (too ridiculous-looking and difficult for me to draw), and made her hair a bit more asymmetrical. 

As for my version of her backstory, rather than Opaline being over a thousand years old and having known Celestia and Luna when they were fillies, I made Opaline a former student of Twilight who became her successor as the next Alicorn Princess. Only Opaline didn't do a great job as a ruler which caused Twilight to drain her of her magic and banish her to the outskirts of Equestria.

But after Twilight died of old age (don't ask me why Twilight didn't find a new successor, still working that out) the magic shield locking Opaline outside Equestria faded and allowed her back in. So she was the one who caused disharmony between ponies all over again (yeah kind of a repeat of the Nightmare Moon situation but), and additionally kidnapped Misty as a filly to use her as a spy and do tasks to help Opaline get her powers back, including her wanting to steal dragon fire to become a fire Alicorn like in canon.

Made this change for two reasons 1) the whole “ancient villain who knew Celestia and Luna back in the day escaped now and is planning to wreak havoc on modern Equestria” has been done a hundred times already in FIM, let a new villain form literally during Twilight’s reign 2) it would keep the rejection aspect of Opaline's canon backstory but give her more personal beef with Twilight which is why Opaline targets her

so my AU wouldn't just have all ponies restore unity and then have Opaline just come as a threat right after like A New Generation + Make Your Mark did. Achieving harmony between pony AND non-pony kind would be done over the course of a series and not just one movie, with Equestria being restored + Misty being freed after Opaline's defeat. The Unity Crystals still play a role in my AU, with Twilight having created them as a new alternative to the Elements of Harmony rather than just a macguffin to stop Opaline specifically.

Also if it were up to me I like my #3 redesign the best, the blue hues would probably fit the best for a fire-based villain (fire being blue when it's hottest and all) but that depends on if/when I wanna draw my AU Opaline in the future

[invinciblerodent]

I know this is a hardish question bc probably depends on game factors, but as it is rn you the brain sauce

Do you think Emmerich notices right away that Tristan isn’t alive in the same sense as pm everyone else? Or is he like quicker than others to notice? I assume Tristan isn’t quick to explain the full truth of his… condition.

(Sorry if I seem obsessed, bc I kinda am. I blame my adhd for the hyperfixation. Love the whole idea! )

Oh absolutely no worries babe lol, I'm just happy that you find the big fellow interesting! ❤️❤️

Have a song I've been listening to a lot over the past few days and have kinda started associating it with him-

(this, as well as "Ghost" by the same guy, very Tristan-coded to me, only this one also has that soft, deep-voiced crooning in "Orlesian" in the middle there that's. Very A+.)

I honestly feel a bit more "free" headcanoning and rambling on about this guy and this story than about anyone else, specifically because the base idea is kind of on the sillier side? Like, I feel fairly confident ~~hazarding a guess~~ that there's not going to be a subplot in the actual game about the main character needing to hide that actually, they're kind of, sort of a zombie, lol.

So while I'm intentionally keeping my girls vague (beyond "very autistic bisexual elf rights activist", "viking pirate lesbian(?) dwarf", and "tiny dommy mommy"), I'm like, fairly sure that I was gonna need to do extensive rewrites and annotations to the game to make this one work anyway, so I'm not super concerned if I end up needing to "retcon" something I think about now.

What I was thinking so far is that Tristan, as of the beginning, could count on one hand the number of people he's told about his "condition" over the past two decades, and of those people, he's not sure if there's even one still left alive. (Maybe a fellow Warden healer, someone who's patched him up enough times to catch on that something is fishy? Maybe the longest and most serious relationship of his adult life that ended tragically one way or another? I'll have to brainstorm that one)

So as a Grey Warden, Tristan spends a lot of his life traveling alone (which suits him just fine), and quite often, the preternatural survivability and even the unusually thick blood can be reasoned away with "it's a Warden thing, don't worry about it, we're all like this". Most people will believe it, and aren't very quick to jump to conclusions that shouldn't be possible.

Except maybe those who are intimately familiar with death, spirits, and the undead. And are, yknow, actual professors of the occult.

So I think it's not exactly a closely guarded secret, but one Tristan wouldn't reveal unless absolutely necessary- and for as long as possible, none of the companions would know, but Emmrich would absolutely suss him out on his own.

Regardless of whether there's been any light flirting before then, I like to kind of imagine there being a singular moment --perhaps after a hit taken too close, maybe in defense of him, when the odd, stale, almost slightly mildewy scent of Tristan's blood hits Emmrich's nose the first time-- when their eyes meet, and there's this Moment of mutual recognition. This "oh shit, I know what you are."- "oh shit, he knows what I am.".

I of course don't know, like, the particulars of his character, but from his tone in the blurbs and the short stories, I assume that if pulled aside afterwards and asked sincerely, Emmrich would be willing to keep it a secret- and that he would immediately feel intense scholarly interest.

I mean, Tristan is an anomaly: by all means, he should not exist. The undead of Thedas are created via possession, and his body has not been possessed by any spirit, and isn't being controlled by anything. He seems whole, hale, and himself (not a darkspawn, either), he breathes, eats, sleeps, heals and bleeds pretty much as normal, and the things that aren't quite normal, are still not outside of the realm of possibility: many completely normal people breathe and blink slower than average, many people prefer their meat on the rarer side, many people have troubles falling and staying asleep. Nothing about him on its own is indicative of anything strange, and yet he is intelligent undead! Just the fact that he can speak in a way that is convincingly human is incredible!

I want to believe that Emmrich (like many of us are about our blorbos) would immediately kind of be like "I want to study you under a microscope." (paraphrased ofc) (Is he the playful kind? Would he jokingly paint studying Tristan as repayment for his silence? Who knows! It's fun either way!)

And at first, Tristan would be hesitant (it's awkward, to be under such scrutiny, and to have his whole Situation upended and dissected like that, especially by someone he probably already considers somewhat intimidating, in a handsome, charming sort of way), but even if it's not suggested, he'd consider it repayment for keeping it a secret, and agree. And if I can make it work, I'd really enjoy for there to be an opportunity for a moment between the two of them that has Emmrich kind of like... "I have been around enough bodies, both dead and alive, naked and clothed, to not be affected by anything corporeal. I know flesh well, I know what lies under it, and my interest in this particular body is purely clinical, scholarly, and in no way romantic or sexual. This dimly lit office/surgery is not in any way romantic, nor does any sight of his body arouse anything in me. .......... oh, his nipples are pierced. That's not a good thing for me."

("oh, strong muscles shifting enticingly under inked skin." "oh, the big man is large in every way." etc.)

Something something hearing an otherwise abnormally sluggish heart suddenly beat faster at a touch, something something intense examination of all bodily reactions making them both feel both flayed and more naked than it should be possible, intense eye contact, oh in this kind of light his eyes do look reddish and eerie but I can't look away, and from there on I think it can kinda progress however it's going to progress in the game.

I am havign SUCH a normal time of it, man!!!!!!!

[gilgil-machine]

I definitely agree that besides his mood varying from the time he's summoned/whether he's incarnated or not, he's also affected by his Master. Kirei also wanting to bring about angra mainyu works well in Gil's decision to cull the world, but I really wonder what would happen if he was incarnated in the modern day with Hakuno as his master. I wonder if she'd be able to reel him in from going off the deep end

That's an interesting question to which I don't have a certain answer and also it depends about which universe we're talking about. About Hakuno's universe or our universe?

If we're talking about Hakuno's universe I can't say too much since we don't know too much about what kind of world it was and what people were doing before it got corrupted by BB since all of the events were happening in the cyberspace outside the Holy Grail War and that cyberspace serves more like a "purgatory" or maybe "limbo" for lost souls that cannot exist outside this cyberspace. Plus Hakuno is not technically a human and also mostly amnesiac during their journey and we don't know much about them, their past and their true wishes and goals and why they got into Holy Grail War and also everyone is collaborating for the same goal even after getting back some of their memories instead of getting on each other's throats. And since Gilgamesh was mostly cut off from those triggering factors he's acting more chill and reserved.

But if we're talking about our universe and our modern world I don't think that Hakuno would help too much and won't really change his convictions since he would still mostly be affected by his surroundings because first and foremost he's the king and an arbiter of this world and the world became more messed up, I mean, it already was but with technological progress it became more wicked and twisted.

And as we know Gilgamesh is not against technological progress and all that stuff, he fully welcomes it and supports it but what bothers him is what people have become while he was "away" and how a wish granting tool became cursed because of greedy and wicked nature of humans.

He's bothered how human life became worthless in this world and also (I failed to mention it in my post) how greedy and gluttonous people have become. And sure he might hate that just out of jealousy since mongrels are now allowed to get the privilege that only king has but I also think that he wants to give humans that are blinded by greed, gluttony and other sins a lesson that if they won't change their ways of living it would lead them to their doom and the best lesson is to make all humans without an acception feel their own evil with their own skin.

Also this quote. I think a lot about this quote that fits just perfectly especially right now.

So I think Gilgamesh would act the same way with Hakuno like he acts with Tiné since there's not much to do since it's not his job to parent humans and lead them by the hand since he wants humans to be independent in their choices and learn how the world works by themselves and, well, humans themselves are already doing a pretty good job in punishing and destroying themselves even without his help, so he would just stand on the sidelines and watch the world burn. But still he would give them some guidance (in his own way) to make people understand and maybe learn their mistakes so there's a small chance of his intervention if things would get out of control but still the result won't be pretty for everyone.

[catgirltoofies]

i am of the opinion that all human bodies are inherently beautiful in their own special ways, and also of the opinion that any person should be allowed to change their body however they want it to be, no matter what that change may entail. if someone wants to change the way they look to feel better about themselves, that's great! the way i feel about it doesn't factor into the equation at all.

with that said. i try to encourage people to be healthy. i always think people should make good and healthy choices about their bodies, but i place no shame on people who don't.

for one example, i have never smoked, i don't ever want to smoke, i don't think anyone should ever start smoking, and i think anyone who does smoke shouldn't. it's obviously never that simple, but perhaps more importantly, if someone is a smoker, i place no shame or disgust on them. at most I'll feel pity or worry, depending on the situation, but i have no negative feelings towards people who smoke.

in a similar vein, I've never been very fat. i have been fat, and I'm less fat now than i used to be (and have the stretch marks to prove it), but I've never been fat enough to be called fat outside of the doctor's office calling me overweight. i think fat people are beautiful. i think thin people are beautiful. i think average people are beautiful. i truly don't care how much a person weighs or how tall they are or how much muscle they have or anything like that. every aspect of every person is uniquely beautiful. but if someone who is fat wants to lose weight, i think that's great for them! i wish the best of luck to any person trying to lose weight, whether it be for health reasons or just for personal appearance reasons. if someone is fat and doesn't want to lose weight, that's great too! live your best life! your weight doesn't affect me at all, so i have no right to dictate how you should live. i wish you the best of luck in finding a doctor who doesn't immediately dismiss any health concerns as a result of fat.

for a final example, i brush my teeth twice a day, and floss once a day. i think everybody should try to at least do each once a day. but i don't care about the color of your teeth or the smell of your breath. the former is an appearance thing that i don't care about and which can be colored over if you need or want that for anything, while the latter is only relevant if we're going to be in extremely close proximity. to me, that's irrelevant in most cases - i tend to avoid close contact, as a rule. i think everyone should brush and floss because doing so helps prevent a lot of pain and expense. over the last few weeks I've been getting fillings done and these things cost hundreds of dollars apiece. that's hard when you don't have insurance. and that's to say nothing of the pain - even with anaesthetics, it hurts, and it will hurt for a while after. instead of going through that, though, you can buy a toothbrush, a tube of toothpaste, and a 50yd spool of floss (i use waxed dental tape - it comes in a 55yd box) for less than $10 total. they'll each last at least a few months, with probably the toothpaste needing the most replacement, but it's a far cry better than spending a few thousand dollars to get fillings, or worse, living with constant tooth pain until you finally go to the dentist and discover you need a root canal, which will cost even more and be even more painful.

not sure what my point is here. live how you want to, and try to live well

[reallyintoscience]

Trope Game

Tagged by @notallsandmen 💖

Rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic?

* -10 -> very dissuaded

* 0 - don't care either way

* 10 -> very enticed

* nope -> if it's a hard no and you'd never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you'd insta click out of the fic if it wasn't tagged

Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it's conditional.

Age gap: -8 ( -10 — +5)

Oh this does open with the difficulties doesn't it.

I don't care one bit either way about age gaps.

I care very much about emotional experience gaps, which sometimes but not always correlate to age gaps.

It's all about the awareness and the agency. Would the younger/less powerful character be able to understand the situation and would they feel able and willing to say no? Would the older/more powerful character respect that? If yes, no problem.

Because this dynamic can squick me so hard, it is occasionally a kink, because brains do be like that.

For instance I'm totally insane about Anonymous' Lucy Locket, where Dream the Prince of Stories loves to play pretend with Hob in the form of an exploited sugar baby. Key here is that Dream and Hob are roleplaying and this isn't their whole relationship. (CW: CNC warning applies for Chapter 5.)

Codependency: +5

I love it when the pairing is a matched set, particularly from the perspective of an outsider. It's really fun if the character's don't realise themselves how much of a set they are. But I like this best when they *can* function well enough on their own - they usually start out as lone wolves, it must be said - but they are *miserable* without their person. They can survive but not thrive.

Obsession/Possessiveness, jealousy: +10 (0 - -10)

Toxic trait to love toxic traits in my fiction? Oh well, here we are. I want my guys feral for each other and I want them to love that about one another. I'm here for the making each other worse.

Buuuut not if one of them is being controlling of the other. I hate that and I'll drop it right away if that dynamic shows up.

Opposites (grumpy/sunshine etc): 0

Neutral. I do tend to end up with this kind of pairing but it feels incidental rather than the instigating factor.

Enemies to lovers, Enemies with benefits: +7

Okay so I need for my pairing guys to like each other, to enjoy one another as people, but the absolute best version of that? Is when they really really don't want to like this dick. Or this dick, if you know what I mean.

Friends with benefits: +10

I love this because I'm like this but my favourite flavour is when this is the most important relationship each of them have even if they do not treat it as romantic. They might have other hookups this is Their Person.

Sex to feelings: 0

Neutral. I like it fine but don't seek it out.

Fake dating/relationship: +8

I like it but the reason I like it is that it frames two of my favourite tropes very well: pining, and "we're a team against the world". But the setup has to actually make sense, and not have everyone around them holding the idiot ball.

Friends to lovers: 0

Neutral, it's the setup for most fic I read just because there's where we start off.

Found Family: +5.

I love this in a very certain dynamic, my lone-wolf, everything-is-my-responsibility characters finding community and acceptance. But I love it when it manages to stay close to canon, and it's hard to do this with a lot of canons in a convincing way. There has to be a large enough cast of characters that I care about, and being a picky little creature as I am this isn't often the case.

Hurt/Comfort: 0

Eh. It's fine, but I don't like whump and depending who's tagging sometimes h/c is whump in disguise. More comfort than hurt pls.

Love Triangle: -5.

Very rarely does this exist in a satisfying way and when it does it's not a triangle anymore, it's a threesome. Now, if one of the characters *thinks* there is a love triangle and they're just so very wrong actually, aka the love is requited they're just idiots, then that's fine.

Poly, open relationships: 0

Open relationships tends not to work that well with my "totally feral about each other" kind of favourite dynamic, but it does work with the friends with benefits but still ride or die for each other kind. Poly is just fine but it depends on the fandom. The longer I'm in a fandom, the more OTP I tend to get. I start out shipping my One True Character with half the cast, and then I find the OTP and that's that.

Mistaken/hidden identity: -8 - 5

I *hate* mistaken identity, it gives me second-hand embarrassment. I will read it if the rest of the tags check out but I'll read it through my fingers and I won't enjoy it the first time. Once I know how it turns out I might love the story on second read but waiting to find out how someone is going to be Found Out As An Imposter is my horror story actually.

Hidden identity can be super fun though.

Monsterfucking: +10

I am a proud monsterfucker and I will read pretty much anything with this.

Pregnancy: -10 (+10)

Okay so I have a pregnancy squick and I do not want to read pregnancy or kidfic ... except if it's Dreamling and then I have a huge kink about it? I've been in fandom 28 years and I have never liked it and NOW. This one ship. I dunno.

Second Chance: + 4

The mutual pining and planning here can be really good. Depends why it didn't work out and what's changed to make it different this time.

Slowburn: +8.

Yes please. Build up those feelings until I want to yell at them, go on.

Soulmates: 0 (Meh)

I kind of love the kind where one half doesn't have a soulmark or has a bizarre soulmark, and thinks they are ~alone forever~ but actually it's supernatural shenanigans. That kind is fun. And I enjoy all the different sorts of worldbuilding that go into soulmate aus, when they're properly thought through.

Tagging @seiya-starsniper, @beatnikfreakiswriting, @ml-nolan , @chaosheadspace , @beholdme , @beholdingthegaytimes, @honeyteacakes and anyone else who feels like it!

[sharpteethdomme]

Time and time again, surveys show that adult dommes are more attracted to domestic service than causing pain and humiliation. This could just be because women are burned out and tired of doing chores, but I don't think that's necessarily the case.

Women, especially adult women in their 30s and beyond who may have been married/cohabited with male partners that don't do as much of the housework, know how shitty it feels to do chores and planning day in, day out for very little appreciation. To demand this of a partner seems... massive, more terrifying even than causing physical pain.

Where I am right now in my life, requiring household chores of a sub is a soft limit for me, even as I would enthusiastically throw myself into more "hardcore" kink. I would have to really trust a partner to discuss that territory. My parents' marriage fell apart for many reasons, but my father not contributing to the everyday running of the household was a major factor. I'm sure many people with divorced parents can look back and see something similar.

Kink is where we play pretend and prod at our psychological bruises for our own satisfaction. The terror I feel when household chores aren't apportioned Perfectly Evenly means I'm not really ready to get into that now, but maybe one day, with the right partner, I could. The more taboo something is, the sexier it is. If that right person came along, I think I would feel a lot of catharsis.

When men see surveys that show dominant women want service kink the most, I expect some of them may be disappointed that women don't "really want to dominate men, they just want to because it's convenient/he'll do the housework." To me, it's a sign that women are just playing with different taboos and hangups due to their different life experience.

I over-generalize gender in this post. But the surveys I'm referencing have been in very cis and straight-oriented communities/blogs. People who fall outside of this binary in femdom are going to experience this differently. The degree to which you were expected to pitch in and perform housework, especially during your formative years, depends on so many factors besides gender as well.

[mylittlesecrethaven]

More Thoughts On Abortion (Probably Gonna Be Very Very Controversial)

If you're gonna say that my post is dumb, tell me how it's dumb or I will delete your comment. (I love constructive criticism, so I'm hopeful I get some)

This post is gonna be a lot.... so....

(Also, this post is about the new abortion laws in place in Texas. I honestly don't care what you think is the wrong times and right times to get an abortion. As long as it's your body, I don't have a say and I don't want a say)

Welp, you chose to read this so here we fucking go.

Look, I was looking into what counts as actually living.

And one of the big things I found was that to be classified as living, you must be able to 1) Respirate in any form, 2) Grow, 3) Be able to react to your environment, 4) Be able to reproduce or at least have the intention to have the capability to reproduce without relying on a different species, and 5) Require something to actually stay alive.

So, as you can tell, there isn't really anything regarding brain function.

Y'know why?

Cause ✨trees✨

Basically, trees don't have a set brain.

Their entire root system and all inside of themselves is a type of brain, but not really.

A brain is one organ that controls everything about an organism, and is actually the thing that the organism is trying to keep alive. The rest of an organisms body is just a fancy holding tube and nutrient supplier for the brain.

But trees in their entirety are a brain, in a sense. (Besides their outside, but technically that is part of their "brain") However, their "brain" also counts as a circulatory systems, so it's not technically a brain in its true definition.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand regarding little fetus nuggets.

Well, actually, one little segway.

Regarding reproduction, you'll notice I put a lengthy ass thing right there. "Be able to reproduce or at least have the intention to have the capability to reproduce without relying on a different species."

Basically, if a creature has or had reproductive organs and these reproductive organs are there with the initial intention to maybe be able to have young (but may not actually be functional for whatever reason) and the creature does not need help from another species outside its own to reproduce, it counts as that lengthy sentence from before.

Why did I make this such a lengthy explanation?

Cause I know somebody's gonna pull out the "what about people who can't reproduce since birth?" "What about mules?" "What about Ligers?" "What about bees?"

To which I say, "Those people were born with the reproductive organs (though they may not all be present due to several genetic factors, but there is still something there) that had the original intention to maybe have young." "Mules follow the same reason as humans, they are just infertile." "Some Ligers are fertile, but same reasons as before." "Worker bees have less functional reproductive organs, but they have the same original intention."

If y'all have any more examples for me to make a stance again, lemme know.

And now back to the fetus nuggets.

Now, what does this all mean?

Well, let's look at the facts.

Reparation. Isn't noticeable until around 10 weeks.

Grow. Well, a fetus grows the entire time, but it isn't recognized as growth until maybe week 5.

Reacting to its environment. Also depends, but usually seen around 16 weeks.

The entire lengthy reproduce sentence. I'm using when the reproductive organs start forming so I can give those who want the six week abortion law to still be viable because I know they'll be upset. The organs start forming at 8-9 weeks, but aren't fully formed until 16.

And requiring. Basically, any sustenance it needs to survive. Also to give a little lenience to the anti-abortion people, let's just keep this at week 0.

So, all in all. For a baby to be classified as living (by these standards), it must have started reacting to its environment, which is week 16.

If you want some more lenience, let's throw that out the window and just go with respiration, which is still 10 whole weeks.

Y'know, not the fucking impossible 6 weeks.

Because most people don't find out until 5-6 weeks or later.

So.

That's my entire stance on this because I felt like I had something to say for no reason.

(I'm not gonna lie, I did around 4 days of research for this post. I don't usually do that much research for posts, but I wanted to be correct about this.)

Anyway. If you have something to add, lemme know.

:3

(Sincerely, a person who doesn't want children.)

(A few more things I thought of later on. I know the argument most of the time is "It has brain function!" or whatever the fuck it is. And I know I'm gonna get the "humans aren't trees," but we are all living organisms pretty much bound by the same rules. So ✨trees✨ motherfuckers. Also, imo, once a person is not able to do any of the things about that make a thing living, they are no longer living. So, if they are unable to continue breathing naturally, are unable to grow (or make new cells), or not able to respond to their surroundings, they are dead. Cool? Cool.)

(however, if a person stops being able to do one of these things, but then is able to do these things again later on, they're alive, but they were dead.)

:)

[dashawfrostart]

So I Completed The GOG Survey, And It Made Me Thoughtful... (a.k.a. Artist's Rant)

... And everybody knows that I become scary when I'm thoughtful, because hello yet another one wall of text 😎 But if you're here, it means you love 'em. Otherwise you would've never come over.

Perhaps, I've already mentioned that before somewhere around here, or maybe not (Frosty does not remember absolutely every single post she writes), that the primary purpose of playing videogames for me is to draw inspirations for my own creative stuffs. I really wish I could signify that in the survey, but alas, I did not have an opportunity to do so, for there was no extra "other" field to fill out. This way, the absolutely biggest factor that drives me to play videogames had to be left out from the survey. And this is very sad, because I would really love to share that. This is not a secret to anyone that I'm very much into the development of my graphic novel right now, to the point that I sacrifice some other activities or aspects of other creative works I really enjoyed earlier (for example, as the pinned message says, I virtually stopped working on greeting cards designs, and I hardly ever do totally random artworks anymore - all for the sake of fetching out a bit more time for myself to further invest into "Time & Again", for that is my priority... and... I stopped assembling papercraft models in my leisure time as well). I have my ups and downs working on "Time & Again", too, so it does not always go smooth as I expected. Sometimes my creative spark needs a push - a thoughtful or an emotional one, or a little of both. That's especially when the videogames come into play for me. Depending on my choice of a game to play, what kind of inspiration I'm seeking, it might be incredibly impactful - sometimes even empowering! I most certainly see videogames as a form of art, there's no denial. An interactive form of art that is - and I treasure that way more than movies that usually require zero involvement from the viewer when it comes down to the story itself. (but overall, my superhuman-proportioned cringe towards movies is a whole another topic, so we'll keep that outside this post for now) I've been playing videogames since childhood - back in the day I used to have a NES/Famicom console, but soon I became a PC gamer. I truly believe that was one of the factors that contributed to my creativity and endless curiosity in visual arts, and perhaps also something that turned me into a thinking person. And by the way, I learnt a lot of interesting stuff about the world through playing videogames, heheheh!

While, perhaps, being purely a form of entertainment to some people (and I don't deny that by any means), I think over the years, with the development in the industry, video games have evolved into something more nowadays, something that can be taken more serious. Art always contains a certain message. Videogames do contain artistic messages, too. Since my priorities have been shifting ever since I started working on "Time & Again", I often think about all of that. My paradigm has cracked and now rearranges itself in a most peculiar way. In fact, I perceive videogames as a form of art more than anything else now. Because this is what it is to me. And I draw inspirations for my own projects from the other people's art. It's really that simple. Art is an experience. I want to experience art - including videogames, for this is one of my favourite forms of art - to feed myself emotion to process and thought to ponder on, that could potentially lead me to the expansion of my own artistic horizons. I think this is truly magical. People's creations inspiring other people's creations is quite possibly worth living for. This way we share our experiences and pass them on to the others. I'd say this is very precious. I could talk about this stuff for hours and hours, but I will stop here, for there's something else.

There is another one interesting point that I wanted to reflect on after completing the survey, and during the last couple years - and the last year especially - it has become fairly important to me. I am incredibly disappointed with the fact that buying a PDF artbook for a game without owning the game itself is not even an option on any of the videogame stores. That is frustrating, and honestly - it doesn't make any sense. The reason is that the artbooks are usually distributed as DLCs for the games. Logically, DLCs DO indeed require the base game, for the additional content usually is something that you can use within the game, such as an extra level, or a skin, or a weapon, etc. But artbooks are neither of those. Most of the artbooks are just separate PDF documents you can read on your desktop computer or a mobile device... and they most certainly do NOT require a base game to be owned. (the only exception to that I've seen so far was the artbook for Atomic Heart that was actually incorporated onto the game and was accessible through the in-game menu. That is, I must admit, an excellent way to prevent people from just "redistributing" (e.g. just a sophisticated word for STEALING, cough cough) the PDFs illegally in the internet - and oh boy, let me tell you, people really love doing that!😅) So why not make them purchasable separately, in case if the user wants to support the artist, but does not necessarily want to play the game (for whatever reason they have - it doesn't matter)? 😁 I was fairly disappointed when I discovered on GOG that I could not buy a Yooka-Laylee comic (that was discounted at the time, and I've been specifically waiting for it be get discounted for a long time) because I didn't have the game on my account on GOG... sadly, I actually do own the game - but on Epic only. I usually prefer to support GOG with the idea of DRM-free content, but that time it just didn't work out for me. So I ended up buying it from Epic anyway. But that's for the game I actually owned. There are plenty of other games that I don't think I will be able to play for different reasons, so I don't wanna buy them - but I sure DO wanna buy the artbooks, to support the artists (and developers, too). But I can't. Because I have to own the game first. The game that I might never play anyway. 🤷‍♀️ Working on my graphic novel sure changed my understanding of the value of art a lot, and also my views on what's important and how my works impact the others, including the fellow artists. Starting last year, I found out that the presence - or absence - of an artbook as a bonus content was one of the main deciding factors for me if I really wanted to buy a game or not. Majority of my last videogame purchases had artbooks included, usually with deluxe editions. It means a lot to me as an artist - aside from simply appreciating the art in those artbooks itself - because I relate quite well and I understand the amount of time and work put into the game development AND development of all the visual materials for the games, breathing life into something that your mind have created and materializing it through the means of pen and paper and/or digitally. And let me tell you: it's not easy at all. One might say that I'm going a bit too hardcore on this whole topic, turning it into some great issue of sorts, etc. But it is what it is. This is what's important to me, and I want to uphold the values.

A shellfish request of mine: I would've really appreciated the videogame services to allow me to search specifically for the games with artbooks as DLCs 😁 And THEN allow me to buy the PDF artboooks separately, pls 😤 That would make me very happy.

I suppose, that would be enough for today's random post on the topics that are very important to me. So I bid you farewell for now and go back to working on my story about crazy Lothar. 🙌

UPD (Oct 2024): I have realized a bit later and forgot to update the post. Shortly after I wrote that post, I have discovered that GOG actually DOES allow you to browse through the games that include artbooks! And that makes me sooooooo happy, you cannot even imagine! It's always small things that make us happy 😉 Ever since I have made that discovery, I've been often browsing GOG sales by the "artbook" tag. Now I'm just waiting for everyone to allow people to buy the artbooks without owning the games 😁

[moshieldeastcharlotte]

Mosquito Shield of East Charlotte

When it comes to keeping pesky mosquitoes at bay, hiring a professional mosquito control service can be a game-changer. However, navigating the world of mosquito control services can be a daunting task, as each company may have its own unique approach.

From evaluating your property to selecting the right approach, and ensuring long-term effectiveness, there are several factors to consider.

In this blog, we will delve into the process of professional mosquito control, explore the elements of quality service, and provide you with valuable questions to ask when evaluating different mosquito control services. By the end, you’ll be equipped with the knowledge to make an informed decision that will help protect your family from the annoyance and potential health risks associated with mosquitoes.

What is Mosquito Shield?

Mosquito Shield® is a brand who professionally applies spray products that kills and repels mosquitoes and ticks from your property. Our vector-trained technicians treat your common use areas such as pools, decks, patios, and swing sets.  They also pay special attention to where mosquitoes and ticks breed and congregate. This helps with mosquito control as well as tick control.

Our three-pronged approach kills mosquitoes, masks your CO2 (which attracts mosquitoes), and repels them away from your property.  The spray adheres to foliage, wood, stone/brick, and other organic materials. This creates a vertical barrier that strengthens with each visit.

Only Mosquito Shield uses  spray technology to maximize effectiveness. We monitor both mosquito population and weather conditions and adjust our location based program as needed. By rotating control products, leveraging proactive scheduling, and using resistance management strategies, we are able to deliver superior results and satisfaction.

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[insertpoetryhere]

Hot take on Celty?

There was another ask for this as well but I have finally managed to verbalize these thoughts and I’m gonna go with the top one.

I’ve taken a shot in preparation to make sure this can match the energy of the Izaya ask (which I answered while shitfaced).

I tried so incredibly hard to like Celty, but the thing that has always stopped me is her relationship with Shinra. Obviously, immortal being/young adult ships are always a little dicey but I am totally willing to handwave it if they meet when they’re adults. When they met, Celty had the mind and body of an adult woman and Shinra was FOUR YEARS OLD. She then practically raised him, she was basically his live in nanny. And 20 years later they’re in a relationship.

Shinra is entirely dependent on her, as he probably always has been since she was his only consistent adult figure in his life from the ages 4-20 (note: for those who don’t know, 20 is the age of adulthood in Japan). And until he himself was an adult, he really don’t have much of a choice but to rely on her.

And (with a similar argument that I use to say why the yakuza targeting Izaya specifically rubs me the wrong way) Shinra doesn’t have parents who are consistently there or any other real support system until much later in life.

Now this could have been an interesting dynamic to deconstruct, which would have at least made me able to appreciate a well-done storyline. But it’s not. Because we aren’t really supposed to think that any of this is Celty’s fault. Whenever the relationship takes a turn for the unhealthy, it’s always Shinra’s fault. And before I continue, Shinra’s actions are his own. He does do things that make the relationship unhealthy and manipulate people around him, and those actions are on him. But maybe we should side eye the person who raised him. You know… his wife.

And this dynamic taints the scenes these two are in that are supposed to be funny. Because I can’t laugh when it’s them and the relationship makes my head hurt when I think about how fucked up it is. And she’s out here smacking him with the handlebar of her motor cycle or trapping him in a stupid shadow ball and all I’m thinking while I watch is “omg baby LEAVE HER”.

And the worst part is that I don’t even think Celty meant to groom him. Because her entire thing is hand waving consequences and overlooking the aspects of people that she finds inconvenient. Because Shizuo is a “good person” even though his job is to illegally kick the shit out of poor people who owe his boss money and he has severe anger issues that he really isn’t working to fix and that he always diverts blame onto outside factors. Izaya is a terrible person though, because he is heavily involved with the Yakuza, doesn’t really value people as people, and is extremely manipulative. All three of those things are fine when Shinra does it though, since Celty likes her ward/husband. And she met both of these men AS CHILDREN and apparently judged them accordingly right away since she never seems to mention any changes taking place or anything like that. She looked at a 12-14 year old Izaya, saw some signs of severe issues, and hand waved this boy as a “bad person” before he had managed to really do anything to earn that title.

I get that it’s about twisted love or whatever, and all of the flaws are to be like “oh Celty is just as human as the rest of them”… but did we really have to go THAT FAR? A lot of these issues would be lessened in my mind if the show would just… treat Celty as wrong on the occasion. But they don’t really challenge her worldview or call her out on predatory behaviors. And the fandom never discusses the issues with her and Shinra’s relationship outside of the context of “it’s always Shinra’s fault all the time”.

[beazt]

@dywgh yes. I saw this reply and then read my post and I was like “what the fuck am I on about” bc I posted this at like midnight or whatever and did not remember writing it at all and it took a hot minute to get in the headspace to remember what the post was going to be about

but yes the irony of this being a review of reviews… I was totally oblivious….

idk I said it’d be a ramble but I actually do want to make this well-articulated at some point. but then again I may just be completely showing my own ass (in that I do not understand much outside of STEM academia. and this very much includes the meta of pop culture.)

but anyway the premise of it is. I fucking hate numeric (as in, X/10, X/5 stars, etc) reviews that are not… transparent, consistent, and nuanced. which to my standards do not exist. I guess those are the best words to describe what I’m talking about. particularly,

I want to know what went into the numerical rating that was assigned. what elements of the game were considered? quality? what elements of quality? novelty? in what areas was it novel? how do those areas of novelty stack up against other areas where it maybe isn’t so novel? Is there a bidirectional spectrum between classic and novel? is the middle area of the spectrum “bad” or neutral? or does that depend? does novelty in some areas cancel out classicness in others, or do they compliment each other? I want mind numbing amounts of detail because vague overarching categories and adjectives confuse the hell outta me. it’s the biology brain. I see everything in a taxonomic hierarchy. I wanna know what’s inside it. I will not elaborate at this time

I wanna know what those individual elements are weighted as in the semifinal ratings (such as the rating of quality/novelty) or the final/overall rating and how interconnected the individual elements are to each other, like does one element amplify another? does one element detract from another? do these overall interactions affect the overall beyond influencing each other, when considered together?

does this weighting change between different pieces of media being reviewed? is the weighting weighted by impact of each factor?

I want to pick apart reviews into the tiniest possible elements and study them. like a bug. question everything. get real philosophical about this shit probably. study the meta of reviewing media. found out how this shit ticks. And I haven’t even gotten into the part about “what makes this a 4 vs a 5” yknow?

but I KNOWWWWW even if I changed my career path to DO research in this specific area, 1) funding wouldn’t be difficult to acquire but my funding sources would likely demand a lot of control over the directions I take the research, 2) the research would take ages to get anything significant out of, when it comes to the minutia I’m interested in, 3) the research findings would 1000% be used to feed the greedy capitalist machine into writing formulas for top-rating media. reviewing would either become meaningless or it would evolve to be unfathomably (for me) different, even if just subtly different, criteria. I feel this would also either lead to a collapse of AAA game studios by everything becoming bland and predictable, or it would evolve them, as the criteria were exposed particularly in regards to novelty and how it is weighted, and AAA game studios have to decide what areas to take risks in, etc etc, im getting too deep in the weeds here to even explain the fried exploding mess that is my brain right now

and I’m not saying necessarily that this isn’t already going on to some extent. I am willing to bet that AAA game studios have proprietary formulas and research and stuff for how to make a top rating game. and that there are always upsets and uncharted territory and that really the way reviews happen are already evolving to compensate for these things.

I just dont think it’s happening on the absolutely precise scale I am interested in. especially because public reviews do Not go into that level of detail very often. if ever. even if it is, we as commoners will NEVER see that data.

and it’d also be a particularly tricky area of research (on the minute scale I am talking about) to gather and quantify data in, and that’s part of why it has intrigued me so much, it is like, throwing a pumpkin of goat meat into my research-focused problem-solving brain’s enclosure

someone remind me eventually to go on a rambler about how I feel about reviewing (as in giving a rating and commentary on the quality) media

[peninkwrites]

do you think you'll be continuing your fic? ofc its okay to not know yet!! /gen /nf

Tbh, anon, I don't know yet. I'm a firm believer in separating character from cc and have thought so since the early days, but I don't really know if I'm comfortable continuing just yet. At the very least there will be a pause.

I'll share my current thoughts, but fanfics are low on my priority list right now when supporting the victims takes precedent. (not that I mind you asking!)

The Mafia AU I am more inclined to continue because his character is much more minor, while Wake Up is a bit harder to puzzle out. If I choose not to continue, I'll at least share what I had planned.

For now, I'm just going to leave things on pause, both for my own comfort and as to not go on 'business as usual' considering the severity of the situation. While I'm here, I'll just make my stance clear: I do not support Dream or any of his actions. I won't go into detail beyond that whatever the outcome, I'd rather temporarily support a 'liar' than support a powerful man who abused that power.

Hope everyone is doing okay. I don’t want the horrible actions of one person to destroy a community that has thrived independently of its source material for ages before, and I’m proud of this community for being able to choose the right thing over the easy one, and I hope we can continue in a way that does not support him.

tl:dr

Right now my fics are on pause as supporting the victims is the most important thing, I do not support Dream, and I have no intention of leaving this community in its entirety.

[iliveiloveiwrite]

Baby Makes Three // C.B.

Request: hello and congratulations on 7k followers!! 🥳🥳 could i please request “i didn't want to tell you until i was sure, but... i'm pregnant.“ from the sacred romantic moments prompts for colin bridgerton? thank you so so much!!! 💗💗 - @flowercrowns-goodvibes

A/N: Thank you so much for the request, and for being so patient with me!

Warnings: pregnancy, female reader, mentions of children and babies, female typical titles, established relationship, married couple, lots of fluff - so much fluff, dialogue heavy, a mention of alcohol, humour

Word count: 1063

There were many words that Colin Bridgerton could use to describe himself: funny, handsome, adventurous. However, the one he uses the most right now is: content.

He’s content in every factor of his life. His family are all happy in their individual ways; his mother filling the role of the adoring and devoted grandmother as if she were made for it, and his siblings carving out their own path for themselves as he did for himself shortly before he met you.

Colin was most content when he was with you. There were no pretences, no falsities. With you, he could be the version of himself that he liked the most, and that was what counted to him.

It was this version of himself that had him stopping at the florist, putting together a bouquet of your favourite flowers that were in bloom. Colin would be the first to admit that he was over heels in love with you. Married for just under a year, Colin’s heart still raced when his eyes landed on you every morning, stupefied at the fact that he gets to spend an eternity by your side. Loving you, holding you, being there for you – a finer purpose he could not find on this earth.

With the finest flowers in all of London in hand, Colin continues his walk back to the home he shares with you. He hadn’t wanted to leave you since you weren’t feeling too well – nauseous and dizzy - but had some pressing matters at his publishers that could not go unattended to. Colin could only be relieved when the matters didn’t take too long to resolve.  

His contentment quickly turns to worry as he spies a carriage pulling away from the curb outside of the home he shares with you. Bouquet gripped tightly in his hand, Colin presses forward, all but running to his front door.

The house is silent upon his entry. He drops the flowers onto the entryway table, not giving them a second thought as he takes the stairs two at a time to the bedroom where he knows you’ll be.

Colin refuses to think. He doesn’t want to think of the countless reasons for Dr. Ward’s visit. Colin could only kick himself for leaving you this morning; he should have argued more, but the reassuring kiss you had given him had fooled him into think that you were alright, that nothing was wrong more than an upset stomach that could have a thousand causes.

“Darling?” Colin calls, his tone giving away his concern. “I’ve just seen Dr. Ward leave in his carriage. Is everything okay? Are you okay?”

You greet your beloved husband with a small smile, not missing the worried look in his eye. Coming forward to meet him, you press a hand to his cheek, your thumb across his cheekbone in a comforting motion. “Take a breath, my love. Everything’s fine… I think.”

“You think?”

“It all depends on your reaction if truth be told.”

“I need you to tell me now before my mind starts conjuring up the worst ideas imaginable.”

You take a deep breath, holding the blue-eyed stare of the man you so wholly adore with every fibre of your being. “I didn't want to tell you until I was sure, but... I’m pregnant.”

“Pregnant?” Colin repeats, his legs giving out from under him as he sits back onto the bed. “You’re sure?”

You nod, a hand slipping down to cradle the bottom of your torso. “Very sure. Dr. Ward checked everything twice.”

“But how?” Colin murmurs, more to himself than to you.

“Colin Bridgerton!” You gasp, a laugh escaping you. “If you want the finer details of such an act, you can go and offer the good doctor some whiskey!”

A startled laugh leaves Colin before that laugh turns into something greater. Unadulterated joy seeps through him filling every single nook and cranny until there’s room for no more. “I’m going to be a father!” He crows, rushing to his feet. “I’m going to be a dad.”

“You’re not upset?” You ask somewhat timidly.

“Why on earth would you think I’d be upset?”

You begin to pace back and forth, wringing your fingers together as you start to explain. “We haven’t been married long, Colin. Barely a year. We’d never truly discussed the idea of children; we just knew that they would happen one day. I wasn’t sure whether you wanted to wait a while before we began trying for children, and I didn’t know whether I wanted to simply enjoy my time with you before we needed to start thinking of children.” You take a deep breath, steadying yourself, “But here we are.”

“Here we are,” Colin whispers, mystified as he takes sight of the barely there bump. “We’re going to parents, darling.”

“In five short months, we are.”

“You’re already that far along?”

“So it seems,” You smile, a breathy laugh leaving you as your hand flattens against your stomach. “Do you want to feel?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” Colin states in a single rushed breath, dropping to his knees before you as he gently places a hand to your lower stomach, feeling the small bump that has only just begun to show. “You and me and baby make three,” Colin whispers, his nose pressing to thin fabric of your dress.

Colin pulls away, tears lining his eyes as he takes in the news of the morning. He’s much relieved to see tears shining in your eyes when he gathers the courage to meet your stare. “I never knew I could feel so happy,” Colin whispers, coming to his feet and gathering you in his arms. “I thought I’d reached the peak of my happiness on our wedding day, but here I am, being proven wrong, and I couldn’t be more grateful.”

“Oh Colin,” You sniff, hiding your face in his chest. “You always know exactly what to say.”

Colin chuckles. His arms wrap around you tighter; rocking you both slightly from side to side as you press your face into his chest. Colin Bridgerton could use many words to describe himself; content had been the latest and the most accurate to date. However, after the news of the morning, and the feel of the love of his life in his arms, he feels that the word ‘elated’ holds much more significance.

********

Bridgerton taglist: @heloisedaphnebrightmore​ @dreaming-about-fanfictions​ @now-its-time-for-a-breakdown​ @janelongxox​ @sexysirius​ @wallwriterstuff​ @magicallovdrms​ @darkestbeforethedawn16​ @gryffindors-weasley​ @spideysz​ @iammirrorball​ @joyfullymulti​ @nuttytani​ @freyathehuntress​ @odetostep​ @pinkcloxds​ @lovesanimals0000​ @flourishandblotts-inc​ @blankspaceblankday​ 

[mc-lukanette]

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6]

—————

A few days had passed since Marinette had burned the Adrien photos, and Luka was relieved to note that they hadn't come back since. Marinette seemed equally at ease, their daily calls becoming more and more relaxed with each time she told him about her still-empty wall. He did wish he could do a little more concerning the red string around her neck, but his mind was drawing a blank and she was happier than before regardless.

The main problem however, was the relation to the miraculouses. Everyone knew that Ladybug wasn't interested in Chat Noir, a fact that made the knowledge of the red string even worse. He wasn't sure if the red strings were tied to the miraculouses or not - or how if they were indeed connected - but he speculated that it was about more than just talking to Marinette about Adrien; Chat was a factor as well. He couldn’t imagine the societal pressure of Ladybug and Chat Noir being a couple, and no one had to do much research to realize that Chat Noir was okay with it while Ladybug was very much not.

He'd have to take on the red string from both sides of the masks, and it took one particular day for him to get his chance.

"You want me to go on patrol with you?"

Ladybug nodded, balancing herself on his windowsill as she replied, "If you'd like to. Chat Noir is busy tonight, so the position's opened and you're one of the people used to having a miraculous."

Luka caught himself before he could start smiling too much, knowing that it was Marinette under that mask and she wanted him to go on patrol because they were friends.

"I'd be honored to."

She beamed at him, and after the snake miraculous was on his wrist, he was transformed and the two set off for the rooftops together.

—————

Viperion glanced left and right as he went along with Ladybug. He'd been called enough by then to have gotten used to superheroing, though it was his first time actually on patrol. Given the situation they were in, he was thankful that Adrien was busy that particular night with what Viperion could only guess was Gabriel's orders.

The red string was still dangling around Ladybug's neck, though Viperion'd grown attuned enough with his fate sensing that he could stop focusing on it and simply see her if he chose to. It didn't stop him from thinking about it, but it helped.

Ladybug seemed to know the route to take, so he mostly followed after her, but it was partway through where she'd decided that they should take a break. Paris was always quiet right after akuma attacks, meaning that they could afford to take it easy since there'd been one just that afternoon.

They leaped buildings until they reached the Eiffel Tower, scaling the monument until they reached the top platform. He didn't miss that she'd avoided using her yoyo for the job, possibly to put them on an even playing field.

Letting out a breath, Ladybug leaned against the railing and she gazed over the city. Gesturing to the view, she explained, "We'll have a good vantage point from here in case anything happens."

Viperion chuckled. "You really do think of everything."

She blushed faintly, but took the compliment casually. "I'm just doing my job." She turned her hip to more easily grab her yoyo, then opened it and reached inside. "Anyway, are you hungry?"

He tilted his head in curiosity, then grinned as she pulled out a bag of macarons from the Dupain-Cheng bakery. It wasn't anything suspicious given that it was known as the best bakery around.

"Thanks," he replied gratefully, taking one of the macarons she offered him.

She grabbed one as well and they took a simultaneous bite of their respective treats. He was a little surprised to hear that she brought along snacks, but supposed it made sense if breaks during patrol were a common thing after akuma.

They settled down on the ground, Ladybug placing the open bag in-between them so they could pick them out at equal leisure. Tossing him an apologetic but teasing smile, she added, "Sorry, but cushions wouldn't fit in the yoyo."

He raised his brows at her, then glanced down at the hard ground below them. He snorted at her joke, noting, "It's nice to see you outside of akuma battles, where you can relax and play around more."

She smiled shyly at him, in a way that was so Marinette that he couldn't believe he hadn't figured her out sooner. "Thanks. Chat says I have no sense of humor."

He frowned, replying without hesitation, "Chat's wrong."

She waved him off, though he could tell that she appreciated the comment. Hearing that Chat had told her something like that was news to him, despite all the research he'd done into their relationship. Granted, he imagined that anything could be said off-camera and he couldn't have known.

"Does he say things like that a lot?" he asked, hoping he wasn't prodding too much. There was just something about how casually she'd said it that unnerved him.

"Huh?" She blinked, thrown off by the question, then rubbed the back of her neck. "Well... most of the time, he flirts instead. It's..." She hesitated, like she wasn't sure that she could talk about it. Glancing at him, then back to the open sky, she relented and added, "—it's a lot sometimes, but he does his job well enough, so it’s not like it’s a serious problem. I don’t know, it’s not like I’ve never wondered about the what ifs of having someone else, but whenever I think about it, I just—"

She squinted at nothing, Viperion's gaze flickering down to the string, which had became visible now that he was focusing on it.

It had tightened, pressing into the black of her bodysuit in a way only he could see, and he found himself squinting just like she was.

"—I can't imagine being Ladybug without him," she said.

He pressed his lips together, trying to suppress any reaction to the comment. He'd suspected it for a while, but actually seeing it was something else entirely.

The red string demanded dependency on Ladybug's part. He wasn't sure how much it pulled Chat on the other end, but judging from what he'd gathered from Marinette's luck and fate's blatant favoring of Adrien, he could guess.

Ladybug peeked up from her macaron when he remained silent, confusion passing over her features. "What? You look like you have something to say."

"Ah—" He looked down, brows furrowing as he hoped even more that he wasn't pushing boundaries. "—just... I know that he's been with you since the beginning, but I don’t think you need Chat Noir to be an amazing Ladybug."

She straightened, dropping her treat in surprise and then fumbling to catch it. Perhaps she hadn’t caught onto what her words implied, or had said them without thinking due to the string and was now facing it head-on.

He continued, "You've dealt with akuma plenty of times without him, and you work well with all your heroes. I'm sure you could make the best out of any partner you had." He smiled reassuringly at her. "Maybe Chat Noir only seems as good as he does because he's at your command."

Ladybug's cheeks tinted red, nearly matching her mask, as she ducked her head at the high praise. She raised the macaron back to her lips, chewing on it as if that helped hide her face.

It was only after she'd slowly nibbled the treat all the way down and swallowed that she replied, "T-thank you."

He shrugged, having only been honest.

"Chat Noir..." She cleared her throat. "Well, Paris would disagree with you."

"Paris is wrong too," he replied in the exact same tone as when he was discussing Chat. After careful consideration, he asked cautiously, "Do you mean how—"

"Yeah, the—" She frowned and waved both hands vaguely in a gesture that no one but him would've understood. "Yeah."

So she was all too aware of their status of a "couple" in the eyes of Parisians. It made sense with everything he already knew, but he hadn't wanted to be right.

The phrase she'd used when talking about Adrien resurfaced in his mind: made for each other.

He clenched his fist. She was being pressured on both sides of the mask, towards both sides of Adrien's mask.

"I don't like it," she admitted, "but Chat drinks it up and I guess the public is into the idea of this superhero couple. They see us like celebrities."

"It's not right," Viperion hissed, and Sass would've been proud of it. "You save Paris every week and you deserve to be respected."

"There's nothing I can do about it," she told him, almost in defeat. "Besides, Chat... he needs a pick-me-up every now and my pep talks don't always work on him. He pouted when I brought in a male hero for the first time."

"That's not your fault!" he argued. "Chat needs to be confident on his own. He can't keep relying on you or make you feel like you can't do anything without him doubting himself. You're under enough stress as it is, and—!"

He caught himself, his mouth shutting tight before he could reveal exactly how much he knew. Ladybug blinked at him, seeming puzzled by the outburst but not suspicious at least.

He took a breath, reminding himself to stay calm. Reaching back, he grabbed hold of his lyre and brought it in front of him, strumming a few notes and letting them settle the discordant song that was playing in his stomach.

"My point is... Chat shouldn't be someone adding onto the pressure. That's not a partnership."

Her shoulders relaxed, her eyes darting around as she processed his words. She looked conflicted.

"...I'm sorry," he added, settling his lyre in his lap. "Not for what I said, but—I didn't mean to bring the mood down."

"No, no." She shook her head, pulling her knees to her chest. "It's good that you did. I've actually—" Her voice grew quiet. "—been thinking about it lately."

"About what?"

She made the same vague gesture from before. "All of that. There's been a lot going on and it's given me a lot to think about."

He knew immediately what she meant.

"It's... frustrating," she groaned. "I don't like Chat that way. I mean, maybe sometimes he said or did something that I found charming, but that's just—not enough for me, you know? To only feel something like that for a second or two." She averted her gaze, growing distant. "Everyone seems to think we belong together, and... I hate that they might be right."

"What do you mean?"

She sighed. "Well, I'm a hero; a permanent one. I need to be there all the time. Every akuma, every purification, every Miraculous Ladybug. Only I can do it." She hugged her legs closer, burying her face in her knees. "I want a relationship. I want someone to date and be close to, but I can't have it. I'm always running away; always going somewhere with some excuse so I can go deal with the akuma, and I can't tell anyone! Can you imagine how that'd make my date feel?"

He opened his mouth, but a thought occurred to him at the last second that gave him pause.

"You... so you think..."

Once again, he hoped to be wrong. He wanted so badly to be wrong.

But Ladybug looked up, her expression pained as she confirmed, "There's only one person I could be with where it wouldn't have to happen."

His blood ran cold, he felt sick, and the memory of the red string flashed in his mind, wrapped around Adrien's ring.

Fate didn't just tie her to him; it wanted to make her believe that he was her only choice.

Viperion's grip on his lyre tightened, his teeth grinding together behind closed lips as he tried to maintain an aura of calm. He wasn't just angry anymore, he was livid, and he silently wished that the face on the other side of the butterfly miraculous was the universe so he could give it a piece of his mind.

How could you do that? How could you take a girl who's always worked so hard and tried her best, and treat her like she's nothing? No, not nothing, because then at least she'd be left alone. How could you treat her like a plaything, as if she's some prize for a guy to win no matter what? How could you manipulate her to think that everything's her fault, just so she never thinks to fight back against the ones putting pressure on her?

What's love if it's gotten through such force?

"V-viperion?"

A hand falling upon his jolted him back to reality, his head snapping up to see Ladybug there, her pupils shrunken in and her brows knitted in worry. Whatever his face had looked like, it'd scared her.

His first instinct was to feel guilty. He was supposed to be comforting her, not making things worse by letting all of his emotions show on his face.

His second instinct...

He tossed his lyre off to the side, Ladybug's gaze briefly following it until his hands fell upon her shoulders. Her eyes widened, and she let out a squeak as he pulled her onto his lap and into a hug.

The only thing he was grateful for in terms of her superhero status was that he could hug her as tightly as possible without hurting her.

"A-ah..." She seemed tempted to say something, but fell silent soon after and hugged him back, burying her face into the side of his neck. He felt her strength in the way she squeezed him, like she was starved for his affection despite them being in a similar position not too long ago.

He understood. Before, they were tackling her problems when she was Marinette, but Ladybug had never had someone to personally confide in concerning Chat.

She'd needed this.

"You already do so much," he whispered. "You should be allowed to be with whoever you want, and you shouldn't have to settle when it comes to love."

She sighed against him, like she knew deep down that he was right. "You don't know how bad it could get. Some hypothetical boyfriend wouldn't deserve that kind of treatment."

"I get why you'd feel that way," he said, "but I'd hope that this hypothetical boyfriend would know that you're worth it."

Her fingers twitched against his spine. "...You don't even know me."

"I know that you're creative. I know you're smart. I know you work harder than anyone else to keep Paris safe. I know you have a right to feel however you want, and if you think you need to earn being with someone who's not Chat, then you've more than done that." He slid his hand up to squeeze her shoulder. "I also know that you'll find a way to make it work, if you put in even half the care into it as you put into Paris."

"Vi—" She paused, her voice softening. "Luka..."

They stayed like that for a while, the bag of macarons going untouched an arm's reach away. Viperion just held her, sensing that she was feeling out what he'd said and that they didn't need words for it. That was fine with him; her love life was none of his business. He only wanted to help her have the choice to live it.

A breeze blew by, their bodysuits protecting them from the wind chill factor as their hair was lightly shifted by the gentle air. Ladybug stirred, letting out a noise like she felt personally slighted by the wind, then pushed herself up, her hands on his shoulders as she pulled away from him.

"We...we should get back to patrol," she admitted.

He offered her a small smile, noting that she seemed to be in better spirits at least. "Alright." He let her out of his lap, leaning over to the side to pick up his lyre.

He heard her retreating footsteps, along with a light, "You can keep the macarons."

He glanced up at her, surprised. "Are you sure?" he asked, knowing that he was mostly responsible for them not eating all of them. "Is that what you usually do on your breaks: let Chat have them?"

"Oh." She stood awkwardly in place, looking off at the sky before dropping her gaze to the ground. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she grinned sheepishly and replied, "Actually..."

He tilted his head, curious.

She peeked over at him, eyes half-lidded as she told him, "I've never done this with Chat."

He raised his brows, as if that would make her clarify, but she simply turned away from him and started doing a few stretches, clearly prepping to head back out.

Pursing his lips in thought, Viperion turned his back to her, giving attention to the little plastic bag resting neatly on the ground. Even though it was open, the little ribbon that had held it shut was still around it, suddenly feeling more special now that Ladybug had said something so... cryptic.

He looked out at the view they had, then Ladybug, then back at the bag, feeling extremely slow on the uptake as his brain pieced things together based on what information he had.

Then, suddenly his brain supplied: Wait... was this a date?

He buried the thought just as quickly, shaking his head and scolding himself for jumping to that so fast.

"Are you ready to go back to leaping rooftops?" Ladybug asked behind him, her tone light even if she was still in her own head.

"Yeah," Viperion replied, picking up the little bag like it was something precious. Hoping to lighten things further, he then added, "I'm new to this, so I might lag behind."

She chuckled. "You might. Apparently I'm a really amazing hero according to someone I know."

He grinned to himself. Even if she was just teasing, it felt good to hear her compliment herself in a way.

He had just tightened the ribbon to seal the bag back up, listening to the sound of Ladybug's foosteps, when he felt a sudden niggling sensation at the back of his head, or—behind him? He turned, puzzled, then leaped up as he caught sight of a teal wisp in Ladybug's path.

He rushed over as she yelped and tripped over what would seem like nothing according to her. Catching her just in time, he also realized belatedly that it may've been an overreaction, given that she was in superhero form; he could only blame it on reflex.

Ladybug stood up with a start, covering the lower half of her face in shame. "Ugh, that was so embarrassing, I'm sor—"

"It's not your fault," he hurried to say, not explaining further as he grew lost in thought, staring silently at the place where the wisp had formed itself.

He hadn't just seen the wisps this time; he had sensed them. That was new, and he wouldn't have questioned a new addition to his fate sensing had it not been the fact that he hadn't particularly done anything as Viperion; it usually took an instance or two of him using his power for something to manifest, but here...

He glanced up when he realized that Ladybug was looking at him curiously. Debating with himself for a moment, he ultimately trusted his gut and met her gaze, asking,

"Do you mind if I talk to Sass again after this?"

[chaosincurate-b]

So I've been thinking about music lists and rankings lately, on account of the fact I've spent the last 6 months making my own, and helped by the blunders Apple Music made with their own, and I thought it was worth waffling on for a bit and getting my thoughts out there, possibly even getting some thoughts back.

My first question: "what is the point?"

After all, music is so subjective that no one is going to end up agreeing with anyone else. For example, I'm sure that the fact I put To Pimp A Butterfly so low on my own list (and the fact it didn't make it onto Apple Music's) will piss a lot of people off. I even put in a disclaimer at the start of my post trying to defuse any potential upset people might feel.

That being said though, I think that upset comes from a sense that people's music taste is being invalidated. And I think that is impossible to avoid when it comes from corporations like Apple, because it's not like Apple has a taste in music. So when it comes from them it reads like some sort of authority assessing you and your taste.

So I guess that brings me back round to the question: what is the point? And I think the answer to that lies in the subjectivity itself. For one, when I make a post like the one I'm reblogging, I give people a good idea as to whether our tastes are compatible and whether they should bother paying any attention to my opinions on music. But even when sticking to the benefits of a single post, it functions as an imperfect "if you like this, try that" message. For example, lets assume there's a fan of Arctic Monkeys' debut that reads that: they now know of a bunch of albums directly related to it that are in the same genre and have been approved of by a fellow fan, and also know a bunch of albums outside the genre that might have aspects in common that can more easily be appreciated by a fan of that album than if they were to explore the genre blind (in this particular example, Peggy would be a great artist for an Arctic Monkeys fan to check out if they are interested in getting into rap).

So I do think there is value in individuals making posts like these, but when corporations get involved, it feels like they're reaching for impossible objectivity and in the process disregarding the benefits that subjectivity provides.

"Okay, but doesn't it do a disservice to all these albums to flatten their value into a simple comparison of "quality"?

Honestly, I don't have a clue how to tackle this concern. Because, frankly, yes. I think so. For one, we're conflating music as art and music as entertainment here (a dynamic I'd like to explore here one day). And with that in mind I'm not exactly sure what I'm rating. Is it raw enjoyment? Well... I don't think so. Frankly, Ants From Up There ( my number 3) isn't an album I'd describe as enjoyable, but rather just impacting. And by the same token, the likes of MM... FOOD are more enjoyable to me than a lot of stuff on that list. So is it the impact it has on me? Again, no. Jubilee or Ants From Up There would probably take top spot in that case. And maybe that means its a combination of factors, but in that case, wouldn't the weight of each factor vary depending on my mood?

Honestly, I'd love to hear opinions on this question, because my best defence is that it's always happening, which is about as flimsy as it gets.

So is it worth making a list like that?

I mean, it's not the easiest question to answer about this specific list right away, because if that post blows up and a bunch of people find new music that they love from it, that would fill me with pride, but my inclination right now is that it probably isn't. As much as I love that I get to shine a light on the albums that I just don't know how to talk about that were still amongst my favourites, and as much as the initial process of listening to some of my favourite music and building the list is enjoyable, I think it's hard to latch onto something so self-indulgent. I wrote a lot about the music I like there and while my intentions aren't founded in just self-indulgence, it's one hell of a thing to assume all of that is worth reading and taking something from. I'm hoping the fact I have the Topsters list upfront will help people engage with it more casually, but I don't know.

One thing I am certain of is that I couldn't care less about Apple Music or Rolling Stone or whatever other corporation putting out a top x list. They don't have tastes, and while I recognize the many people involved in these lists do, tastes aren't all that helpful in the aggregate. And don't even get me started on award shows. If an individual person puts their top x list out there though, I think it's worth a look.

My top 40 albums

Find out more about the albums and my thoughts on them below!

So I've been gone a little while, and part of that just comes from demotivation from a feeling that the work I'm putting in is going to waste, at least in the way I'm doing it, but most of it was the fact I was doing this. Turns out listening to about 50 albums and making a top 40 out of them isn't a quick done-in-a-month project. Whodathunk?

Sidebar: Anyway, I'll get into the write-ups in just a second, but I want to establish something first: this list is very subjective and one of the most obvious ways that shows itself is in regard to the ages of these albums. I grew up in the 00s and 10s and generally find it difficult to really connect with a lot of highly acclaimed and influential releases from before then. I never got into The Beatles all that much, I don't get the hype around Pet Sounds, and Nico & The Velvet Underground largely underwhelmed me. I don't doubt the artistry, I just feel like a lot of that music is very of a time that I have no real connection to, so it always ends up being a very analytical listen as opposed to one where I am just enjoying the album. Because of that, the albums on this list skew newer. A lot newer. I just wanted to make it clear that I'm not saying "old music bad" by excluding so many of them. It's a me thing. Anyway, onto the list!

40. Fall Out Boy - Folie a Deux

Genre: Emo Alternative-Rock Highlights: Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On a Bad Bet, I Don't Care, What a Catch, Donnie

For me, this album comes across as a funeral for the emo scene of the 00s. Shortly after this, Fall Out Boy would go on hiatus and haven't been the same since in my humble opinion, Paramore would go on to absolutely kill it with a shiny new sound, Panic! At the Disco would become a one-man ego trip, and My Chemical Romance released what is to this day their last album. All that being said, this doesn't come across as somber. Yes, there is a little angst, there's an acknowledgement of the unfairness of it all, hell, there's even a few guests making things awkward with their self-destructive depression. But despite it all, you get the impression that there is something to celebrate here.

39. Arctic Monkeys - Favourite Worst Nightmare

Genre: Indie Rock Highlights: 505, Fluorescent Adolescent

Any album that has 505 on it is gonna be a good one in my book. There's a reason it's a fan favourite. It perfectly balances the depiction of fawning anticipation with the need to keep things interesting enough that the listener can actually get to the payoff. It's immaculate, but that isn't all that the album has to offer.

Throughout the whole album, there's a little added complexity where the rawness of their debut once was, and sure, I prefer the debut, but it makes this a distinct enough experience that you aren't going to constantly feel like you'd rather listen to your preferred album, which I find is a trap that many young artists end up falling into. It still keeps a lot of what made the debut so exciting though, which is also a virtue, as much as I do love a lot of their later experimentation.

38. David Bowie - The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars

Genre: Glam Rock Highlights: Moonage Daydream, Hang on to Yourself, Starman

There are a lot of reasons this is a must-listen for any prospective or established rock fan, and the quality isn't even the main one in my opinion. Yes, this album is fantastic - so fantastic in fact that I had a tough time picking just a few highlights - but it's an album that, whether it hits for you or not, will tell you so much about what you do and don't like in the broad umbrella genre that is rock music. That trait is a result of the sheer amount of early exploration and pioneering Bowie does on this record. It's all close enough that it feels like a uniform experience, but you've got early templates for the all-out anthemic rock sounds with the likes of Moonage Daydream, a more dynamic, yet still anthemic style with Starman, the rock ballad of Rock 'n' Roll Suicide, and the early punk stylings of Hang on to Yourself. It makes for a great beginners guide to rock music, or simply further vindication and understanding from more experienced listeners who may just have a blind spot with Bowie.

And all of that upside comes in a rock opera package with a loose but coherent story.

37. Sampha - Lahai

Genre: Alternative R&B Highlights: Suspended, Spirit 2.0, Only

If you put a gun to my head and told me I could only use one word to describe this album, that word would probably be 'thoughtful'. Fortunately though, there's no gun to my head, so I'll expand on that.

First, the lyricism consistently comes across as mature and enlightened in the most humble way possible. It's similar to the Kendrick album he featured on in that way: Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers. It reads as someone taking your hand and calmly guiding you through difficulty in life, as opposed to a self-indulgent lecture, and it's very easy to get something wrong and have a well-intentioned message come across as the latter if you aren't very thoughtful about your approach.

Then there are the instrumentals, which I've described before as something akin to a living thing. There is so much relaxed intricacy to the sound that all weaves together so naturally that it sounds like a melodic breath of some beautiful fantasy creature that you can't fully understand. It's what makes writing about it so difficult: it's got to be all about the emotion it evokes, not how it's evoked, because understanding how it works is both difficult and feels like dissecting a magnificent creature.

36. Denzel Curry - Melt My Eyez, See Your Future

Genre: Conscious Hip Hop Highlights: Walkin', X-Wing

If you've ever tried to dive in at the deep end of a genre that you've not listened to much of before, you'll know how I felt listening to this for the first time when it came out a couple years ago. To be clear, this isn't the most hip that ever did hop or anything, but it's a pure enough form of the genre that I didn't really know how to really approach it outside of the very surface level interaction of listening to it and either liking the album or not liking the album. Even individual tracks didn't stand out to me that much because I simply didn't speak the metaphorical language of this genre, so my feelings were essentially all vibes based. I bring that up to say that revisiting it with a little more experience under my belt made me worried that I wouldn't like it as much this time. As you can tell, I had nothing to worry about.

Melt My Eyez, See Your Future is a fantastic album about continuing to mature while comfortably into adulthood, exploring trauma, and criticizing various elements of culture that made growth difficult. It's intelligent, thoughtful, and the touch of psychedelia in the sound of the album pairs incredibly well with the lyrics about self-realization.

35. IDLES - Joy as an Act of Resistance

Genre: Art Punk Highlights: Never Fight a Man with a Perm, Samaritans, Television

Joy as an Act of Resistance is exactly what the title suggests and a little more: a punk album about how, despite everything, joy is very powerful. There is a particularly refreshing angle to that though, as throughout the album there are moments where it becomes explicit that this is from the perspective of someone who has felt pressure to live up to patriarchally masculine ideals of stoicism, and some focus is given to how that is harmful to men beyond the simplistic buzzwords that get thrown around so we don't have to actually talk about it. It's rare and important that men are told, as men, that they can and should express all emotions, including joy, and the fact that it's purpose beyond the personal benefit is so clearly laid out is the cherry on top.

To be clear though, this isn't a pushover punk record, not by any means. The vibe of the album is well summed up in the line "this snowflake's an avalanche". A bold statement on how an emotionally enlightened community can become a powerful force for good, especially en masse.

34. Arctic Monkeys - Humbug

Genre: Indie Rock, Psychedelic Rock Highlights: Cornerstone, Crying Lightning, The Jeweller's Hands

The first sign of real experimentation from Arctic Monkeys was one that disappointed me personally on first listen, but eventually grew on me, with the leisurely pace that most of this album is moving at. It's a really laid-back listen for the most part, one that invites the total opposite experience to that which they were - and, arguably in the UK, still are - known for. Where they once kept it fairly light on the thoughtful aspects in favour of an adrenaline-pumping, raw rock sound, they were now placing intricacy, both in songwriting and lyricism, at the forefront.

As I alluded to, it took some getting used to, I was a fan of the fast-paced Arctic Monkeys of their debut and sophomore attempts first and foremost, but now that it's finally clicked, I can appreciate the boldness on both an analytical level, and an emotional one.

33. Paramore - This Is Why

Genre: Post-punk Highlights: Figure 8, Running Out Of Time, This Is Why

This is why I love Paramore. They have such a creative integrity about them that is on full display here. While their contemporaries have turned into desperate trend-chasers or cheap nostalgia acts, Paramore keep reinventing themselves with a sense of sincere curiosity and adventure, while also nailing every single sound they've attempted. This newest sound is a natural progression from their initial sound almost, taking the maturity of their albums post-punk-sound and combining it with elements of their pop-punk roots, adding some extra musical complexity, and coming out with a post-punk album that feels like such a natural fit that in retrospect it seemed inevitable.

But all of that is pretty conceptual. It tells you where it sits in Paramore's discography, and that of their 00's pop-punk contemporaries, but not how the album holds up on it's own. Naturally, with it being on a list like this, I'm going to say it holds up well, but this is a question of why, not if, and I think there are plenty of reasons. First I'll start with Hayley Williams' lyrics, which are, as they have been for a while, refreshingly emotionally mature. Then there's the willingness to try out some really unique guitar sounds and effects for a band this popular. They really push the instrument further than most things you expect to chart. I'm trying to keep this brief, so I'll aim my last compliment towards the vocals, particularly on Figure 8. There's such a visceral strain that makes it hit so hard.

32. Michael Jackson - Thriller

Genre: Dance Pop Highlights: Billie Jean, Thriller, Beat It

Is a write-up really necessary for this one? It's held in high regard as one of the best pop albums - if not the best - and it is a well-earned title. This album is stacked. There are the three highlights I've listed above, sure, but I feel like it'd be sacrilegious not to mention the likes of P.Y.T., Wanna Be Startin' Somethin', Baby Be Mine... Basically anything but The Girl Is Mine feels like it warrants a mention here. It's all Thriller, no filler. If you haven't listened to it, what are you even doing reading a music blog for music recommendations? Go listen to it. Learn simple addition before learning about the niche shit that'll never come up in your daily life. And when you've done that, you can thank me and we can talk about stuff that's a little more niche. Seriously though, how haven't you heard this yet? Don't they play it when you come out of the womb?

Anyway, yeah, good album, Billie Jean is a masterpiece (and has aged very well considering we now know that he was more likely to sleep with the child than the mother), but you probably knew that already.

31. Arcade Fire - Funeral

Genre: Chamber Pop, Indie Rock Highlights: Neighborhood #1: Tunnels, Wake Up, Rebellion (Lies)

I don't think I've ever known an album to be so against the idea of you listening to songs from it individually. Don't get me wrong, I've heard better album experiences, more cohesive, better paced, more highly conceptual albums, but something about this album screams "don't you dare listen to a song off this thing. It's all or nothing". I really I can't even put my finger on why, exactly, but what I can tell you is that it makes a write-up significantly harder. Usually I can draw on my long history of casual listens to individual tracks to pick out highlights and to get a more intimate understanding of the sound of an album, but here, I've only got a handful of excellent experiences with the album that were, frankly, pretty spread out to go off.

What I can offer using that experience though, is that this album embodies a certain emotion really well, and that's the feeling of running away from home after the situation there has become untenable. It's not really something I'd call an explicit theme, but there are moments where it feels like a bittersweet nostalgia, like the feeling of someone describing a video game as a sanctuary from early familial turmoil. It's a focus on something warm in the blistering cold of a hard life.

30. King Crimson - In the Court of the Crimson King

Genre: Prog Rock, Art Rock Highlight: 21st Century Schizoid Man

45 minutes, 5 songs. That should give you some idea of how this album sounds. Each song is it's own sprawling, epic masterpiece. It spends minutes that would typically be spent on a song or two simply teasing you with playful mid-song solos that feel incomplete, only to then give you the full picture you got used to in the beginning in a satisfying explosion, bringing with it a new drive to propel the songs over the finishing line. There are of course variations on that formula to add the slight freshness required to keep these five tracks from getting stale, but regardless, you will need to approach this with patience, and if you can do that, it'll reward you for it tenfold.

29. Paramore - After Laughter

Genre: New Wave, Synthpop Highlights: Hard Times, 26, Idle Worship

I have a lot of love for After Laughter. It was one of the first albums I remember actively listening to on it's release, and was a superb example for me of a band radically changing their style in a way that feels sincere following a wave of albums that seemed like cashgrabs to a 16-year-old me. And I liked it plenty back then, sure, but it's grown on me massively in the years since then.

The way the whole album appears to be built around the concept of smiling through pain, putting on a happy act when you feel like your world is crumbling around you... It's awe-inspiring. I've mentioned it before, but the way you are pulled into that groove in the first 5 songs on the album, getting comfortable with the idea of happy pop songs with a darker underbelly, 26 comes in and absolutely blindsides you with a rare moment of lyrical-musical harmony as Hayley Williams sings about her regrets surrounding the pessimism she espoused and bought into, and how she feels trapped by it in the present. It's brutal. And then, while you're sitting with that, you're thrust right into the peppiest song on the album yet in Pool, which leaves you feeling the exact emotions the album is built around. I caught myself thinking "Wow, that's really fucked me up, but this is a really upbeat song, I'm not in the right headspace here, I gotta cheer up". I don't know if it's intentional, and the fact that the A-side ends on 26 when listening on vinyl leads me to believe it wasn't, but it's powerful all the same.

Other than that though, as much as I've seen opinions to the contrary, I believe this album is remarkably consistent. I even love the experimental spoken word track No Friend. It also happens to be an excellent showing of the band's versatility. It doesn't get much further from Riot than this, and it still just seems so effortless for them. Like a second nature. It's crazy. This is why Paramore are the sleeper GOATs of the 2000s pop punk movement.

28. Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not

Genre: Indie Rock Highlights: When the Sun Goes Down, I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor, The View From the Afternoon

The first effort from Arctic Monkeys being this good was a blessing and a curse all at once. It feels harsh to say they peaked with their first album, but in this case, I mean it as a positive. I still love the newer stuff from them, even their very divisive most recent album The Car, but the energy of this one can't be denied. It takes you by the wrist and charges forward at full pelt, prepared to drag you along if you can't keep up, and only really gives you a couple breathers.

It's because of that pace though, that one of my favourite aspects of the album often gets overlooked (even by myself initially), and that's the lyrics of the album. Now, sure, they aren't pure poetry or anything, and Alex Turner does go on to improve in that regard, but it all sticks to the theme of a young Brit's night out, and paints the picture fantastically, with all the awkwardness and charm that comes along with it.

27. Regina Spektor - Soviet Kitsch

Genre: Anti-Folk, Chamber Pop Highlights: Us, Chemo Limo, Ode to Divorce

I've written a lot about this album since starting this blog about 18 months ago, and I'm frankly running out of new things to say. If you want my in-depth write up about the album, I did one towards the end of last year, but to keep it simple, the highlight for me is the really cool and unique lyrical style in which Spektor phrases simple things in a strange enough way that you're forced to actually engage with the simple truths that often get abstracted by modern life. She doesn't say something you're likely to have heard before, like "people don't care about you as much as you do", she says "people are just people like you". The former is used in such a way that it's easy to ignore based on how people have used it before (after all, some people just are judgemental, which isn't always acknowledged). But when Spektor says "people are just people like you", it's prompting you to think about yourself acting in the way you expect others to, and how you wouldn't be so unkind. It makes it more powerful because you actually have to think about the type of person you'd have to be to judge someone so harshly, and how their opinion ultimately shouldn't matter to you.

26. black midi - Schlagenheim

Genre: Experimental Rock Highlights: bmbmbm, Of Schlagenheim, Ducter

When I say this album is incredibly overwhelming, understand I mean it in the best way possible. There is so much going on at any given moment, and so little time to wait for the next moment, that it took me several listens before I felt I could even truly grasp it. And usually when I say that it comes from a lack of experience with the genre, but while I hadn't heard anything quite like black midi, I have been a fan of rock and rock-adjacent music for most of my life. It's just so much album that it took a while for me to digest it all. And even now, every listen feels fresh because it's so difficult to memorize every aspect of it.

Another crazy thing about this album is how it doesn't even feel like your typical balance of intensity and intricacy, which is probably a massive reason for that overwhelm I mentioned. It's not less intricate in favour of intensity or vice versa, they just turn both of them up to 11 and expect you to get with it, and I have a lot of respect for that approach.

25. MF DOOM - MM.. FOOD

Genre: Hip-Hop Highlights: Deep Fried Frenz, Rapp Snitch Knishes, Kookies

If you want the delectable dessert of DOOM's discography, dare I say it doesn't get more delicious than the divine rhymes of MM.. FOOD. Maybe Madvillainy is more of a main course meal; the mandatory musical meat that you must make your way through first, but the flavourful fun follows shortly after for me. MM.. FOOD is a concept album, using food metaphors throughout, and that sounds like a really cheesy idea, but it's surprisingly satiating in practice, and is the ingredient that really elevates the album to point where, to me, it's a classic.

24. Japanese Breakfast - Soft Sounds From Another Planet

Genre: Dream Pop, Indie Rock Highlights: The Body Is a Blade, Boyish, Road Head

What's not to love about Japanese Breakfast? The instrumentals never failing to perfectly replicate even the most specific of moods, the evocative and often wise lyricism, the soothing vocals... This album in particular is often verging on meditative, with even most of the upbeat songs having a comforting quality to them that makes them work as a late night lullaby. Even the one song that I'd consider a poor choice for a sleep playlist, 12 Steps, feels like a rock song in a fluffy jumper. It's got all the elements you'd expect from something abrasive, but performed in a way that makes it sound sweet and cozy instead.

As for the wise lyrics I mentioned, it doesn't get much better than The Body Is a Blade in Japanese Breakfast's discography. It's about the idea of perseverance, basically, but in a way that feels very passive, like all the effort the protagonist can muster is put into keeping it together and the rest of their life is on autopilot. It's excellent and well worth a listen. It also stands on it's own if you don't feel like listening to the whole album.

Try not to get so righteous About what's fair for everyone Find what's left in you Channel something good

23. Björk - Homogenic

Genre: Electronic, Art Pop Highlights: Bachelorette, Hunter

On Homogenic, Björk creates a balanced, maximalist electronic soundscape that lends itself to repeated sessions of critical listening, which serves as a backdrop for her passionate, emotion-filled vocal performances. It's an immersive style that really needs to be felt and not described for it to really be understood, but suffice it to say that if you're a fan of music that rewards focused listening, and are not averse to electronic sounds, you'll find something to love here.

22. Jeff Buckley - Grace

Genre: Singer-Songwriter, Alternative Rock Highlights: Hallelujah, Lover You Should Have Come Over

The one and only record from one of music's most overlooked great artists, Jeff Buckley, is a beautiful and thoughtful album. An expression of pain from a tender soul, communicated by way of one of the most beautiful voices to grace a rock-adjacent sound atop instrumentals that at once accept flaws as part of the process and demand perfection to the greatest extent possible without losing the human touch.

21. Alvvays - Alvvays

Genre: Indie Pop Highlights: Atop a Cake, Red Planet, Next of Kin

The first and (in my opinion) worst of Alvvays' albums still gives me enough hits of dopamine from their euphoria-laced sound to make it near the halfway point of this list. The only thing that is really lacking in this album for me, which they will go on to address in future listens, is the rough edges in their production (nothing quite seems to pop like it does later on) and the monotony. Luckily though, the one tone they did run with was one that I absolutely love, making listens great fun regardless.

For more of my thoughts on this album (and the other Alvvays albums we'll get to), check out my Alvvays discography post I made last year! It was an early one of mine, so it might need some revision at some point, but most of what I say in there should still stand.

20. Black Country, New Road - For the First Time

Genre: Experimental Post-Punk Highlights: Sunglasses

As someone who enjoys long songs but short albums, this is almost my dream. 6 songs over a 40 minute runtime. It's not quite around the 35 minute runtime that tends to make me love an album, but it's damn close, and those extra five minutes or so are hardly felt anyways with patient behemoths of songs being held down with an awkward post-punk groove you will have come to expect if you're familiar with the 2020s wave of British post-punk.

I've spoken a lot about how debuts can often sound a little unrefined in their sound, and usually that takes on a slightly negative but totally acceptable connotation, but here they lean in fully and it makes that rawness one of the best elements of the sound. From the album's title, to the theme of immaturity and childhood popping up on occasion throughout the album, to even the jazzy sound that sounds somewhat improvised, they don't shy away from how far they have to go, and that makes for a far more enjoyable experience.

19. Radiohead - OK Computer

Genre: Alternative Rock Highlights: Paranoid Android, Karma Police, Let Down

This is the second time I've had real trouble picking highlights for the album, because practically everything here is pure alternative rock gold. Paranoid Android and Karma Police were mandatory, sure, but beyond that it is almost literally the whole album (minus Fitter Happier for reasons obvious to the masses of people who've heard this album) begging for a spot there. Ultimately, I chose Let Down, with the deciding factor simply being that the lines "One day I am gonna grow wings // A chemical reaction // Hysterical and useless". There's a deeply mangled sense of hope within those lines, as if the sentiment is fighting itself. The crushing realism fighting with the spark of optimism, providing a counterpoint within a hopeful metaphor. One day, you may grow wings, but it's nothing more than a side effect of radiation, and they will be a useless deformation, not and escape.

I'm sure that I don't need to go over how great this album is. If you're a music fan on the internet, you already know that, or have at least heard something to that effect from another hyper-passionate fan, but if this has been a blindspot for you so far, I will be the 548th person to tell you: you need to listen to this album

18. Fall Out Boy - From Under the Cork Tree

Genre: Emo Pop-Punk Highlights: Dance, Dance, Sugar, We're Going Down, XO

This is quintessential emo pop punk. It's got the perfect blend of edge and catchiness that made that wave of music so compelling and divisive. As much as Fall Out Boy did essentially make the blueprint for that sound though, there is a uniqueness to them. The heavy emphasis on bass, constant musical shifts, and most of all Patrick Stump's soul-tinged vocals, all contribute to something that feels like more than a bland example of the genre.

On top of that, there is a perfect witty spite to the lyrics that are very rarely replicated by other bands, as much as they may have tried. When others would try, it often came across as bland woman-bashing which gave the movement as a whole a bad name as an especially misogynistic subculture. Now, I wouldn't dare take the stance that there was no misogyny to speak of, but if you take a look at the Mount Rushmore of the movement (My Chemical Romance, Paramore, Panic! At the Disco, and - most relevant to the topic at hand - Fall Out Boy), whenever there was woman-bashing, I for one always got the impression that it was about a single woman as opposed to women as a whole (with a couple notable exceptions from Panic! At the Disco with Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off, and Paramore, with Misery Business).

My general point about this album is that it is very good at toeing all the lines it needs to. It goes far enough to make you feel something, but not far enough that you forget that it's not that deep, all the while being targeted well enough that it doesn't feel like it's perpetuating misogyny despite often being about criticism of women.

17. Alvvays - Antisocialites

Genre: Indie Pop Highlights: Saved By a Waif, Plimsoll Punks, Hey

I listed two flaws in Alvvays' first outing earlier in this list: the monotony and the general vibe of being rough around the edges, which didn't work for their sound. Well I'm happy to report that neither of those things are an issue here. I still wouldn't exactly describe this album as diverse (although it's definitely plenty for a runtime of just over half an hour), but the euphoria factory sound is so refined in this one. It feels like my brain is having a summer water fight where it substituted water with dopamine and also it's raining dopamine. And it gets better. Boy do I love music.

As I mentioned in the write-up of their self-titled album, I made a post about Alvvays' discography if you want some more in depth thoughts about this album and their other two. I'll only plug it one more time, I promise.

16. My Chemical Romance - Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge

Genre: Emo Pop-Punk Highlights: Ghost of You, Thank You for the Venom, I Never Told You What I Do for a Living

I could honestly just fill this write-up by getting the red string and push pins out and trying to string together the story of the album, deciphering what exactly is and isn't related to it, how the ones that are related progress the story, etc. but I don't feel especially qualified for that. I go through binges and fasts of My Chemical Romance, and do more fasting of this album than binging, so I don't have as much of a grasp on that as I'd like. That being said, the TL;DR is that the protagonist's wife dies, and he makes a deal with the devil to see her again after claiming the souls of 1000 evil people.

The music, for the most part, matches that grandiose, dark, theatrical concept perfectly, and manages to be a cathartic listen throughout, really giving as much intensity as possible to get you to that transcendent spot whilst not turning into sound sludge and (for most people) ruining the whole thing.

15. JPEGMAFIA & Danny Brown - SCARING THE HOES

Genre: Experimental Hip-Hop Highlights: Burfict!, God Loves You, Kingdom Hearts Key

Combining Peggy's maximalist production with Danny Brown's batshit... Well his batshit everything, it's verging on perfection. It might not have been my favourite album of the year, but it has almost certainly been my most replayed. The album has a really infectious energy, is short enough that you can get a quick front-to-back listen in with time to spare for the sequel EP, and has some really funny bars as a cherry on top too, most of which are on one of the highlights I chose: God Loves You. That song is bar after bar of dirty bible double entendres and puns, and to this day some of the lines crack me up.

You can just hear the fun these guys are having making this album in every single verse, and it really helps sell the whole over-the-top vibe. It's an album made with the thought of "what happens if two technically excellent rap artists come together to shitpost?" and the answer is a hip-hop masterpiece.

14. Kendrick Lamar - To Pimp a Butterfly

Genre: Jazz Rap Highlights: King Kunta, Wesley's Theory, i

At this point I'd like to remind anyone reading this that it's my personal opinion and I'm not claiming any objectivity in it. And I'd also like to remind people I put this at least 86 spots higher than Apple Music did.

Onto the actual album though, it is, of course, incredible. It's the album that properly opened up the genre of hip-hop to me. Before I heard this I picked out the very occasional album, but had issues with it resonating with me. I still had issues afterwards, but they were the sort of thing that goes away with pure exposure.

So this album was huge for my musical exploration, but what makes it so good? Well, there are plenty of reasons and plenty of people talking about those reasons. It's an insightful description of how institutional racism effects the way black Americans respond to success and Kendrick gets very introspective to achieve that end, it's got an infectious jazzy style, the poem building throughout the album is a very useful thread in making it more cohesive and is exceptionally executed with every song feeling very relevant to the new lines that precede it... It's an exceptional album, and well worth a listen regardless of who you are.

13. Model/Actriz - Dogsbody

Genre: Dance-punk, Industrial Rock Highlights: Donkey Show, Mosquito, Crossing Guard

This feels a little dirty. Putting Dogsbody ahead of TPAB, not Dogsbody itself. Dogsbody feels downright filthy. I've spoken a lot about this album, and I always describe it as some variation on the explanation that it sounds like gay men doing BDSM. It's rough, a little scary in a thrilling sort of way, it's sexy, and it's fun. It even has the aftercare at the end. And also it's gay... Obviously...

It comes right out the gate at a million miles an hour too, with the first four songs being an amazing summary of the album's sound. If the first half of this album were an EP, it may well be my favourite EP of all time, but fortunately it doesn't end so soon, because while the rest of the album doesn't quite reach that same height for the remainder of it's runtime for me, there are still highlights to come, and a loose narrative that gets a beautiful resolution on Sun In. That narrative is one of an unrequited love within a very physical relationship. A one-sided emotional investment, which, of course, becomes toxic. The narrator relies on the sexual side of the relationship like a crutch, not quite giving them everything they need, but giving them enough that they don't mind the emptiness. The concept is executed via very heady and strange symbolism, but that is what I've managed to glean from it. I'll leave the rest of the analysis to you.

12. Phoebe Bridgers - Punisher

Genre: sad girl indie Highlights: Chinese Satellite, Kyoto

If I'm being entirely honest, my favourite song from the album isn't in the highlights section. If you've heard the album, you already know what it is. I feel like recommending it outside of the context of the album, though, is placing it in a context in which it has one arm tied behind it's back. It should be little surprise that I'm talking about the closer here, it gives me chills every time it comes on now because it was such a glorious and powerful payoff to such a slow and serene album. The album didn't need a banger, but the contrast is what takes it from good to one of my favourite albums ever (my number 1 favourite at one point)

When listening to the album, it's clear why it inspired so many copycats. It's a sound that resonates with a dejected youth that often turns to sarcasm and humour when things feel especially hopeless. This is what extreme sadness sounds like to younger generations now: a sort of "yeah, that makes sense" mentality that comes with being constantly bombarded with negativity. It's not like you can be surprised things aren't going your way when very little in the world has ever seemed to. There's not much point in making a scene when everyone who can help you is convinced you're the fool in the play. And that also happens to resonate especially well with young women, who are constantly told to deny reality or accept their awful conditions. Of course, all marginalized groups get that to some extent, but it's usually in the form of denying that there is no systemic problem, or that in any individual instance it isn't informed by bigotry. In my experience, the denial that a negative thing even happened to someone is exceptionally rampant within misogyny specifically.

With all of that out of the way, though, I think that is much of the reason nothing hits quite like Punisher for me though. The resonant aesthetics are great, sure, but so often people copy the aesthetics they like without also integrating the meaning. On the surface, Phoebe Bridgers sings in a pretty rambly, conversational way, but if you pay attention, the actual thoughts beneath the aesthetics are impressively profound. The quick, funny, personable lines stick out on an aesthetic level, but fundamentally only serve as a seasoning. Whenever most other artists try the sad girl indie vibe, it comes off as hollow because they give all the seasoning and none of the actual food. Punisher, on the other hand, is a hearty, flavourful meal with everything you could ask for from this style of music and should not be overlooked.

11. Japanese Breakfast - Jubilee

Genre: Chamber Pop, Indie Pop Highlights: Paprika, Be Sweet, Savage Good Boy

I've already made a whole post about Jubilee (mostly Paprika though, to be honest), so I'll keep this relatively brief, but this album holds such a special place in my heart. It's clearly not in my top 10, but if you told me I could only listen to 5 albums ever again, this would be one of them. It's very strange to describe what makes this special though. I know it is something to do with it's relationship to joy, but it's not like it's a happy album. There are happy songs, for sure (Paprika, my beloved), but it's about 50/50 when it comes to happiness and sadness. I mean, all the happiness Paprika musters is entirely undone by the emotional wrecking ball that is In Hell, for starters.

I think what the relationship to joy is is a sort of impression you get listening to the album that there is happiness in even the most awful situations. Sometimes it may be deeply buried, but it feels as though this album urges you to keep digging in a very implicit way. It's not explicitly about you persevering, it's about Michelle Zauner persevering and the rewards she got for it. It doesn't push expectations on you, it doesn't assume to know what you're going through, what you're capable of, or what is best for you, it sort of sneakily lets you know "hey, it's an option to keep pushing through and staying positive. This is how it benefited me." And I think that is, in most cases, more powerful than a simple "keep going".

I lied about keeping it brief, but believe me, I tried to.

10. The Smiths - The Queen Is Dead

Genre: Jangle Pop Highlights: There Is a Light That Never Goes Out, The Queen Is Dead, Bigmouth Strikes Again

Everything about this album screams indie pop masterpiece, from the driving drums on the opener and title track, to the back to back dour songs I Know It's Over and Never Had No One Ever, to some of the jangliest songs The Smiths have ever put out like The Boy With the Thorn In His Side, everything feels so classic and so influential. Even some of the bonus tracks on the deluxe edition are downright iconic. Asleep, Rubber Ring, Unloveable... All great. It feels almost as though they were destined to make a must-listen indie pop album and the gods bestowed them with some sort of artistic steroids to make that destiny manifest.

Chances are you've heard of The Smiths, and seeing as this album is just them at their best, it's hard to talk about it without getting too in-depth or too cursory, so I'll describe what makes The Smiths special for anyone who may have a blind spot there. Most of what they do is simply about excelling in the fundamentals of musicianship, with Morrissey being a spectacular lyricist, Johnny Marr being the best indie guitarist of all time, and bassist Andy Rourke and Mike Joyce on drums holding everything down well in the rhythm section to allow the other two legendary musicians to shine their brightest. That all makes for a great band, of course, but if it were just a bunch of really skilled musicians doing nothing special I don't think the band would have such status and staying power. The true value I see in The Smiths comes from the outsider vibe they portray, particularly within Morrissey's lyrics and vocal stylings. It is such a distinctive style that rarely gets mimicked very well, which has allowed them to remain unique, still retaining that outsider air about them while being popular enough to carry a torch for those outsiders on a wide scale without losing that exact power. That's what The Smiths are all about, and this album is the greatest example of that in their discography.

9. Everything Everything - Get To Heaven

Genre: Progressive Pop Highlights: To The Blade, Distant Past

I have a very strange relationship to this album. It's a relationship I do share with other albums, but not nearly to this extent. That relationship is defined by a retrospective lack of enthusiasm (although no lack of appreciation), but punctuated with an in-the-moment revelation every single time I listen to the album of just how much I loved it all along. No more intensely experienced was that exact dynamic than when I noticed that, by my album ratings, this album ended up on the shortlist for this very top 40. I wasn't antagonistic at all towards the prospect, just a little taken aback and half-expecting it to fall out of the top 40 pretty quickly. But as is always the case, I was swiftly corrected.

The album touches on all sorts of political and cultural strife in very abstract ways, but taken as a whole it is very much about the radicalization of a character into a terrorist organization. The narrative doesn't stick too close to that concept following the climax, but still remains tangentially and emotionally connected to political extremism and fear.

That narrative doesn't just stop at the lyrics being about political extremism and radicalization, the synthetic soundscape recalls the digital world where most of that radicalization takes place, and the occasionally confusing and cryptic execution of said lyrics mirrors the feelings of a young person getting whipped up into the chaotic, often nonsensical and contradictory frenzies of the right wing. It is very thorough in it's depiction of the process by which these people often come to do terrible things which makes for an incredible listen and I hope I've learned my lesson about forgetting that.

8. underscores - Wallsocket

Genre: Indietronica, Electropop, Indie Rock Highlights: Cops and robbers

I think now is a good time to quickly go over the two ways I've noticed I can adore an album: one of those ways is by an album seeming as though it couldn't have possibly been created by a person, even a group of people. As if it must have been passed down to the musician who claims ownership over it by some divine power. The other way is a clearly imperfect album where the imperfections somehow just make it even more lovable, because it could have only been made by a human. You'll see that dynamic throughout the list, but especially in the top 5.

This album is not close to perfect. It's a little erratic. underscores tries too much to maintain too much cohesion. Some of the lyrics are a little awkward. But somehow, none of that matters, it just adds to the album in a weird way, gives it a certain charm. That being said though, there is plenty to both love and appreciate too, such as the very online production which provides the vast majority of what little cohesion there is throughout the record, and the very diverse and strange subject matters that get touched on here. There's such a unique personality to the album that you can't help but recognize the humanity in it, and I think that's what makes my connection to this album so strong.

7. My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade

Genre: Emo Pop-Punk Highlights: Welcome to the Black Parade, I Don't Love You, Disenchanted

The Black Parade is undeniably the quintessential album of the movement and possibly even has a claim to the quintessential album of the era. I don't think there was a rock fan of the time that didn't know about My Chemical Romance, and I don't think there's a single person who was alive in it's hay day whose emotional dam could withstand the power of that G note. And that's the thing with My Chemical Romance (on this album especially): they are just so emotionally resonant. Whether that emotion is toxic anger and hatred, or whether it's joy, sadness, or the overwhelming nostalgia, you can't help but feel something in response to a Black Parade song.

As you are probably well aware at this point, the album isn't for everybody. It is very much a rock album and is very much sincere, and tends to actively go against the genre's typical clichés in some way. Gerard Way doesn't seem badass, and you probably won't feel badass listening to this album. It isn't really into glorifying moral and emotional shortcomings or even really accepting them. It is actively introspective, from the perspective of an awful man (one which seems to represent the typical macho and troubled-in-a-cool-way character that uninspired rock lyricists portray) facing death and losing hope at a shot of redemption, but who eventually, in my reading, attempts to face death with the grace and sincere love that was lacking in his life.

Many people write off this movement as hollow self-loathing (I even saw someone confidently compare Machine Gun Kelly's lyrics to My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy which was baffling to say the least), but you really do get what you give when it comes to the movement's big three (My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, and Paramore. Let's be real, Panic! have like two albums and no one can even agree which two)

6. David Bowie - ★

Genre: Experimental Rock Highlights: ★, Lazarus

You can't talk about this album without talking about the unfortunate death of one of music's greatest legends. I don't know how the death of the man David Jones was handled. I'm sure it was with great love, care, and no spared expense. But I do know that the superstar David Bowie went out on his own terms. Even when the album isn't explicitly about mortality, you feel the ghost of the man. It reads as though he's looking back on his life and his regrets, coming to terms with the fact that there will forever be unfinished business in his life.

It is enviable in a sense though. All of us have to die (for now), and that's always going to be painful to those around us, and ourselves in our approach. But not many of us get to make our own headstones. And that is exactly how I'd describe ★. A beautiful headstone over the grave of one of music's most influential figures. So if you can stand the morbidity of it, come and appreciate the craftsmanship, the ode to one's own life, and pay your respects. It really is an experience that I believe transcends personal tastes, even if the music itself doesn't appeal to you enough to revisit, the album as a unified project, I believe, is a universally affecting experience.

5. Kendrick Lamar - good kid, m.A.A.d city

Genre: West Coast Hip-Hop Highlights: good kid, m.A.A.d city, Sing About Me, I'm Dying of Thirst

There's one particular reason I love this album so much. Song for song it's very good, but maybe not top 5 for me. Thematically it's great, but far from something that'd resonate with me this much. The thing about this album that makes me love it this much is that it is an absolute masterclass in sequencing. Even with what I'd consider a noticeably flawed tracklist with a few songs that don't quite hit for me, there is no point where I was listening to this album and didn't feel very engaged.

The sequencing here appears to bend time, making you feel at the halfway point as if you've barely gotten started but somehow still been given almost an album's worth of thoughts already. And that might lead you to believe that it's overwhelming, but that is somehow not the case either. You'll need a few listens to properly take everything in, but it feels as though you're allowed to engage and disengage at will with the lyrics and concepts.

Essentially, my thoughts come down to the idea that as a collection of songs it's slightly lacking by the standards of a top 5 album and by the standards set by Kendrick himself, but it is redeemed and then some by the fact that it captures the essence of an album perfectly. If you don't typically listen to albums and don't understand what separates them from any old collection of songs, this album is the one I'll point to as an example of the exceptionality of the format. The flow of the album, the stories, the immersion... None of that can be matched.

4. black midi - Hellfire

Genre: Avant Prog Highlights: Sugar/Tzu, Welcome To Hell, The Race Is About To Begin

If you're looking for an intense, overwhelming-yet-satisfying listen, look no further than black midi, and Hellfire in particular. I've talked a lot about this album in the past, and I always go back to the first time I heard it and the same description: it felt like I was shot up to heaven to see the face of god and shot back down to earth. It went beyond your typical transcendent experience and into the territory where you start to feel you'll never be the same again.

Unfortunately, that faded with repeat listens as I've come to know these songs inside and out, but it remains an invigorating and awe-striking experience. The initial reaction can be put down to the breakneck speed of the music, with every instrument seemingly existing just to keep you struggling to keep up and wrap your head around their parts. The repeated experience, however, comes down to things like the lyrics and themes of the album. It gives listeners so much to dig into, and when you consider the lower-than-average runtime, it becomes truly impressive how densely packed this album is.

As the title would suggest, the album depicts all manner of evil, from fearmongering on the opener, to war on Welcome To Hell, to complex exploitation on Eat Men Eat, there is so much to explore within a cohesive package.

And somehow it was my third favourite album from that year

3. Black Country, New Road - Ants From Up There

Genre: Art Rock, Chamber Pop Highlights: Good Will Hunting, The Place Where He Inserted The Blade

The second album of the 2022 ten trifecta has a weirdly similar vibe to the first (that being the previous album, Hellfire), but if I were to describe the differences, the albums would be total opposites. Other than the fact it's hard to conceive of the process by which they were made, Hellfire goes at blazing speeds while AFUT pulls back, Hellfire channels chaos where AFUT goes for a more considered style, Hellfire makes it's points quickly and moves on but AFUT takes it's time to build it's narratives. And yet, I've scarcely seen a fan of one that isn't a fan of the other. It's a strange connection these two albums share, which makes it fitting that they are right beside eachother on this list.

Onto Ants From Up There specifically though, the album is defined by a simmering patience and desperation. Thematically depicting a relationship strained by distance, physical and emotional, but in which one side is dependent on the other. Of course, this relationship is bound to fall apart, and the album spirals into a hopeless angst fueled by regret and shame.

As you can tell, it's not a happy listen, but if you can make it through the gargantuan 12 minute closer Basketball Shoes without the album leaving an impact on you, I'm not exactly sure how. After all we go through with the protagonist, when Isaac Wood belts the words "All I've been forms the drone we sing the rest // Your generous loan to me // Your crippling interest" hit like a truck going 100 miles per hour.

In general, the lyrics throughout this album depict overdependence in a very thoughtful and heartbreaking way. It feels as though it is acknowledged that the relationship can't go on for the sake of the immature party, but regardless, the pain felt by that person is very real, and you feel all of that here. The understanding and the frustration.

2. Alvvays - Blue Rev

Genre: Indie Pop, Dream Pop, Jangle Pop Highlights: After The Earthquake, Pressed, Tile By Tile

Picking highlights for this album was a bitch.

Completing two trifectas on this list at once, we have the final Alvvays album, and the final of my three albums from 2022 I consider 10s. I mentioned earlier the two ways an album can end up meaning this much to me (although you'd be forgiven for not reading that, this is a long list with a lot of writing): first, you have the perfect, flawless albums that feel handed down by the gods. Then there's albums like Blue Rev.

The album isn't flawless. The mastering isn't too great, for example, and Many Mirrors is pretty far from the standard I find the album is usually operating at (an 8 amongst 9s and 10s, nothing major, but a noticeable outlier). But somehow, all the flaws I find make me love it even more. It's as if the album has more personality the more flaws I recognize, and I think that's all about the euphoria that Alvvays are so capable of creating. When the music makes you feel this good, there is no flaw that can bring it down. There is always that simple, invincible rebuttal of "and yet...".

For the final plug, I'll once again bring attention to my Alvvays retrospective for anyone who wants more in-depth thoughts on this incredible love letter to indie pop and all it's subgenres.

1. Radiohead - In Rainbows

Genre: Art Rock, Alternative Rock Highlights: Weird Fishes / Arpeggi, Jigsaw Falling Into Place, Videotape

I would be downright baffled if anyone needed me to tell them that this album is phenomenal. It's seen by many a music community as one of the greatest albums of all time. I couldn't possibly go over all the reasons it's beloved by so many, but here are a few of my reasons for loving it enough to consider it my favourite album.

The first thing I feel I should touch on here is the warmth of this album. It feels like being wrapped inside a warm cocoon, with the sounds of every change in your morphing body reverberating off the walls, with the sounds themselves being a mangled reflection of what was once beautiful and natural.

That metaphor (or simile, I guess?) came to me while writing it, but it's honestly very fitting, and not just in the abstract representation of all the sounds and feelings that this album represents to me. It's also fitting in that the album seems to have a running theme of impermanence. The opener, 15 Step, is about the panic of realizing that you yourself are temporary; that your very self will one day cease to exist. Bodysnatchers represents someone whose self-hood is unfixed and ephemeral. Nude doesn't fit the theme unless you consider an opposition to change as a subversion of it, but then Weird Fishes / Arpeggi acts as a counterpoint in ways to that apathetic stubbornness ("Why should I stay here? Why should I stay?"). I could go on, but I don't want to linger on this point, picking out every example. That being said though, that theme ties everything together in a very subtle way. Subtle enough that I only picked up on it this past listen, and I've been listening to this album front-to-back, intently, several times a year for about 5 years now, but I think I always picked up on the similar thematic vibe subconsciously.

One final note to end on...

I recognize that this post is a very long one, but I wanted my proper comeback to be something big. In the future though, I'll be looking to split things up a bit more, starting with a The Cure retrospective that I've already begun working on. I'll also start an alternate blog for more laid-back thoughts about music, starting with my thoughts on these types of lists in general, which is a topic I've been thinking about since Apple Music astounded people with it's bad takes on it's own top 100 while I was in the process of making this post. Once I post that, I'll edit this post with a link. Thanks for your time and I hope this helps you find an album that you like, or prompts you to revisit an old favourite!