#it couldve been for a christmas special

[secret-strawberry]

ive said it before and ill say it again house md needed to do one of those stupid 2000s tv show drama musical episodes. none of the angst would've even mattered to me if house and wilson had a duet about being doctors or whatever

[banditsregina]

watching people getting tickets to hannah's christmas show

[asoulwithadream]

Right!

This may be a Doctor Who spoiler, since it's a theory that could spoil a potential plot point, so read at your own risk. But if you like being delusional, keep reading.

I NEED EVERYONE ON THIS EARTH TO WATCH THIS VIDEO RIGHT NOW. AND FOLLOW @ jeopardyfriendly ON TIKTOK

For those who can't, I'll summarise the points here: Essentially what Hazel (the OP) is theorising is that ROSE TYLER IS COMING BACK.

We've all noticed a lot of RTD references and ideas being reused in the specials and the old series, right? What was the first ever reference in the Star Beast? "ROSE, ROOOOSE"

In the Giggle, the Toymaker used ROSE petals

Allegedly, the store at the beginning of the Christmas episode with that big inflatable snowman is Henrik's. And who worked at Henrik's? ROSE TYLER

Hazel pointed out that Ruby Sunday and Rose Tyler also share a few things in common: - 19 years old - Bleach blonde - Working class - Parent(s) she never knew - Four letter first name beginning with 'R' that means something usually red.

They also make a few other visual points about costumes that are similar and so what, as well as episodes that correlate with similar ideas from his old runs.

But it may just be RTD reusing ideas, right? It could be, or it could just be him making us think that, because why would he reuse the idea for Mickey's band for Ruby, right? No reason, right?

Now, here comes the exciting part. We do not know who Ruby's MOTHER is. We know that there is something special with Ruby, that doesn't make sense. We also have been hinted about the Doctor and Ruby's mother having some form of connection. The changing memory plot and the pointing definitely alludes to the mother being someone we know.

She's important. Now, let me ask you this, repeating what Hazel has so eloquently put:

Who in the Whoniverse had a baby girl. ROSE. FUCKING. TYLER. AND TENTOO.

The underlying theory is that: Rose Tyler is coming back, she's the secret mother of Ruby Sunday, and Ruby is the Doctor's pseudo-daughter.

There is a reason they're connecting so quickly, there's a reason they're so similar, there's a reason that in this Universe they unwillingly sought each other out.

I may be delusional for believing in this, I may just be raising my hopes up for no reason, but IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES.

(And it didn't help that Billie Piper accessorised herself with ROSES for the BAFTAs.)

**OBSERVATIONS BY ME: Parents, I've noticed that's a theme. With the space babies, and Ruby, and in Boom. Parents.... Parentage....

[cleverusername01]

why did they do a companion exit scene? every piece of press before and during rtd2 has been very clear about ruby being a two season companion and starring in series 15? im so deeply confused the ending was perfectly final without having the doctor very suddenly basically tell her to leave. I also dont understand his rationale, like there have been plenty of companions implied to have a satisfying life outside of the doctor and do the whole thing part time, thats what clara did and honestly throughout this season its been largely implied thats what ruby’s doing too? its just such a choice and the only rationale i can think of is to introduce varada sethu’s companion on her own in the christmas special and bring ruby back for the season premiere which like, fine but i feel like they couldve just said she was busy instead of writing in a goodbye

[ailendolin]

Wait to add on to the previous anon's point, theres also that back of the head kiss she gave him in the s2 christmas special . It was sweet and I assume platonic but I was thinking "Girl you know how he gets, couldve just verbally said thank you "

Thank you for bringing that up! I can't believe I didn't think of this moment (probably because it is sweet and meant to be platonic, just like you said, and one of my all-time favourite moments in the show) but in the context of the previous ask it definitely supports the argument that Alison is giving Thomas mixed signals. She really got lucky that he was so surprised by the kiss (and perhaps even a little unsure it had actually happened). If he hadn't been, I imagine he would have taken it as confirmation of her returning his feelings and would have become unbearable - which is obviously the last thing Alison would want.

[ofthirtynine]

i havent watched doctor who yet is it worth watching

[redleadurr]

What do you think of that theory/HC about Tord in the End being a clone? love your art an hc s about Eddsworld btw!

thank you!!

and about the clone theory— i unfortunately dont like it very much, at least for my own ideas and content (not hate it or want ppl who hc to stop tho, thats just mean, this is just personal taste & people who hc it are cool). its not a personal jab to anyone whos main headcanon is that, because of course anyone can headcanon anything (glad u guys are having fun w it!). its just that i myself personally dont vibe with it much.

(gonna explain why i personally dont like the hc for my own content here but please dont take it as me saying it sucks, this is just personal tastes when it comes to interpreting story things): the reason i dont like to adopt this headcanon for myself is mostly bc i feel like its denying of what tord became as a character. from what ive seen, its been used a lot as a way to say that “hey tord didnt actually become evil suddenly, silly legacy team!!!! im gonna explain this random evilness by saying that that is an evil tord clone from spares” (most ppl say it in a lighthearted way is fine & actually p silly). it isnt bad to think of reasonings why tord suddenly became this way since i do it with my own RL headcanons too, i just like to headcanon these types of shifts in personality as a kind of Character Growth instead of resorting to an outside source/excuse(?) for him to suddenly becoming evil like making the evil tord a clone.

i understand why people feel more comfortable in letting the og tord be his own self instead of suddenly becoming bastardized within a single episode after years of not appearing, though. i get it— i was a fan since classic so the change took me by surprise as well. i just personally enjoy thibking about what couldve made tord change for the worst. its particularly fun for me especially considering there was a big hint of it back in Christmas Special 2005 (i was actually gonna write a post abt this some time.. also dont take this as me saying smth like ‘lol my hc has proof while urs doesnt!!’ in the end it doesnt matter if theres proof of a hc or not, its all for fun, just saying that making these connections makes it fun for me)

considering my blog title is literally Red Leader Apologist.. i guess what im saying is that im a sucker for character growth and stuff LOL.. that is all. hc’ing that The End tord was a clone kinda takes that growth aspect of tord headcanons away at least imo. but hey, to the ppl who hc it: ur cool! i actually do like seeing ppl create stuff based off this headcanon especially when it’s humorous like the spiderman pointing meme lol. i feel like you can do a lot w it too. just personally not what i headcanon myself.

sorry if anything here came off weird sounding or badly structured/repeating, my english isnt good. and also u r all very cool & i love seeing ur guys hcs keep it up

[spellmanmortuary]

Loopholes and Nonsense in the finale:

Why did Morningstar die? All she had were scrapes from glass and she was the queen of hell, didn’t that give her.... special capacities? On that note, why didn’t Lucifer give her the mark of cain? Why didn’t Caliban, who was previously loyal and loved her enough to quite literally give her his balls, follow her into that ~strange reality~ where everyone thought she would be stuck in forever?

How did the people in hell not know that Morningstar was dead? Where did her soul go? And it couldn’t have been the void because they didn’t see her there/she didn’t come back to life in the other sabrina’s body

Ambrose and Zelda made the wrong call ( ?!?! )

No one realized Blackwood was gone?

How did it take them two weeks to find sabrina? Isnt roz a seer ? Didnt salem trace her?

Whatever happened to the cain pit?? It should’ve worked, especially because when they had both Sabrina’s bodies, Lilith had Lucifer’s powers, so it would’ve been up to her if the pit worked. And ? Why didnt Zelda call in Mambo Marie’s favor? Life and death was LITERALLY what Mambo Marie was in charge of. Why didn’t the prayers to Hecate work?

Why did they send Ambrose and Harvey especially harvey like they sent the brawniest and most clueless of the mortals to a task where speed was crucial and they left the fast af, strong fae holding a ROPE into the void ?? They couldve easily sent in robin and it wouldve taken seconds to get everyone out.

Why did it take them so long to find everyone? The void was literally a big ass white room, not that hard to find people in there

Why did they leave Caliban behind? Sabrina knew she was gonna die anyway, why didn’t she let him take Morningstar’s body to let him bury her? She might not have liked him but she loved and respected Morningstar and she loved him, so...... ?

Why did they waste time leaving the other eldritch terrors in the void ?? they could’ve just. Tossed them into pandora’s box once the void had been drained out of Sabrina. Or lmao they couldve just. Tossed them in there from the outside, they didn’t have to place them neatly in there lmaoo

My theory about why Nick and Sabrina ended up in the same afterlife was because it was the Spellman soul that died, and she was baptized so she ended up in ✨the sweet hereafter✨, and judging by what he says, Nicholas deliberately and somehow chose to swim/get to the same place as Sabrina, because otherwise he couldn’t have gotten to the same place as her because he wasn’t baptized and it’s not even really clear how/if he died. It still is a major reach tho lmao. It makes no sense that they would end in the same place.

The fact that they chose to end the show killing off the seventeen year old protagonist and giving her family and friends an immense grief and guilt to carry for a long long time instead of simply ending the show by solving the conflicts/offing the villains ( which is what happened anyway, the eldritch terrors were solved, Lilith banished powerless Lucifer and Prudence quite literally chopped off and burried Blackwood in 4 different corners of the earth?? ) and letting Sabrina grow up and give everyone the rest of their lives to heal from that one horrible year lmao.

Also unnecessarily cruelty to Sabrina in this particular episode

They didn’t even let her blow out the candles of her last fuckin birthday cake.

They made her spend the last six weeks of her life ( which mind u these were the weeks between her birthday and christmas/winter solstice ) with blackwood of all people.

She died thrice fighting the same terror.

The final way she died was also painful and a long ass agony and absolutely preventable if they had sent in robin to get everyone.

[cavity-collector]

gonna normal rb because i have so much to say on this subject i am literally halfway thru writing a essay for my website about it

100% agree, it added so many cool features that id been dying for for ages but then also went and completely fucked up some of my favorite shit and made a bunch of unnecessary changes to the concept.

i loved the dumb little extra buildings it let you add in NL like the roost and the lost and found, making the roost not its own building is regressing back to the way it was in previous games for no reason and just makes it feel less cool!!!! i also loved the different town buildings like leafs and katrinas and shrunks, its so sad they removed the town aspect that was one of the things that really made the game feel special and alive. i love city folk because of how cool the city setting is!!! yeah the island gives more customization options but they couldve given us more customization without getting rid of the town setting, i could come up with a million ways to do it.

they also replaced the badge mechanic with the nook points or whatever the fuck which is hate so much. seeing the badge guy was the most exiting thing in the world to me in NL, it felt like christmas morning and really made getting achievements feel special and meaningful. and removing tortimer island, AKA the most amazing multiplayer activity the series has ever had??? WHAT??? me and my little brother used to go to tortimer island every. day. it was SO much fun. in NH theres like nothing to do on multiplayer 😭.

the villagers have no personalities, the “town” (island) feels empty and meaningless even with all the new customization, multiplayer is less interesting, etc etc. i truly dont understand why they couldn’t take what they had with NL and just adapt it with the cool new features, nothing that theyve added calls for the complete botch of all of the cool stuff theyve added since dobutsu no mori. its like they made a spin off like HHD, not a major line sequel :/

By the way this is a NEW LEAF SUPREMACY BLOG BITCH NEW HORIZONS FUCKERS GET OUTTT !!!!! RAAAHRGRGGR I LOVE ACNL I LOVE ACNL

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

oh wow so it wouldve been perfect for a holiday special too 😂😂 the girls couldve prepared a great christmas dinner made with love (and rat poison) in it for the guys 👀

Haha I thought of putting it on the list of options but because the story is unfinished, I didn't wanna get muddled in the plot.

[missypawz]

“Dance with me?”

"Dance with me?"

It was certainly a strange request, so sudden too, Petra knew Levi was not a man who could probably dance, or somebody graceful enough to be able to take the right steps without stepping on his partners feet, yet that didn’t stop the red head asking. Looking up at her hand with a mix of confusion and anxiousness he went to take it, he faltered for a moment and held back, feeling as if he should just push the dance onto somebody else in his squad, but that would be giving up a situation that he terribly wanted to be in, despite the worry that he would be horrific at this whole dancing ordeal. 

“Come on Captain..Just one dance! Then you can sit back down.” Her sweet voice echoed around him, making it impossible to say no to the woman, he took her smaller pale hand into his own and got up from his rather uncomfortable chair he had been seated on. “You can’t dance can you?” She wasn’t sure if it was wrong to ask. though she was too curious not too, if he didn’t know how to she could just teach him a couple simple tricks, after all no body was watching them and nothing fancy needed to be done, swaying side to side and a few twirls would be enough, any time with her captain was enough, dancing, or not, either way, but this was a special opportunity she wasn’t about to let pass by. 

Levi put his other hand up defensively. “Before you go any further, no I can’t, but i’ll still give it ago if this is what you want.” With a small nod she led his two hands onto her waist, her hands found their way onto his strong shoulders. “Like this..Then you can just step side to side, sway with the music. so this song is rather slow, so just start like this.” She started to explain, and then began swaying to the slow tune that was playing, she urged him on to follow and he began to do the same, surprisingly not falling over his feet, or stepping on Petra’s, as that would be majorly embarrassing. 

"See..you're doing it perfectly!" She praised, making a feeling of warmth swell up inside of him, it wasn't often somebody would praise him for things, people would mention his titan kills and other things that didn't bother him, but Petra telling him he was doing something perfectly? That made him feel strangely special, even when she would say that to anyone to make them feel more confident in themselves.

"Yeah..it isn't too bad, plus we look better than all the shitty snobs here with their fancy jewelry and expensive dresses." That earned a small laugh from Petra, she could only agree with him, the citizens from wall sina and a few of the higher ups were all wearing long flowing dresses in an arrangement of colours that really weren't anything special, they had gold jewelry wrapped around their neck and made into rings on their fingers, some had gold and silver earrings that dazzled whenever they hit the light, most wore heels with their outfits, the clacking of the heel could be heard on the marbel floor and whenever they took a step during the dance.

"Yes I suppose you're right, you look much better than the 'shitty snobs', I hope that isn't too out of line to say." While speaking to him she looked into his eyes, his eyes that were a steel colour yet sometimes looked an icy blue colour when certain lights hit them.

"Not at all, it's a simple compliment, you look nice too." There was much more he couldve said than a simple 'nice' though the words couldn't manage to come out of his mouth, perhaps it was nerves. She was wearing a dusky pink dress that was fitted to her top half and then splayed out towards the bottom, making it flow whenever she twirled or moved a little too enthusiastically in the dance, there was a small lacey detail around her waist which Levi thought was a wonderful detail and added a lot to the outfit, it made it less plain. Accompanying the outfit was a pair of silver coloured flats, they went well with the dress.

On her small wrist there was a bracelet which Levi could only just make out to have a heart indented into it, perhaps it was from a family member for a special occasion like her birthday, or maybe Christmas.

"Ah thank you..its strange to dress up don't you think?" Levi noticed her eyes move from his own and down and back up again, he was wearing a simple black suit with dark trousers and a pristine white shirt, he wore simple black shoes and of course the outfit was completed with his cravat, something he liked wearing, if that wasn't obvious by now. As his cravat was made out of his mother's shirt that he'd managed to keep in good condition since he wore it as a child, it still gave him something to feel close to her, a part of her was still there and he liked to wear it as much as he could, he wasn't sure what he would do if something happened to it one day.

"I suppose, it's not terrible to dress up every so often still, just being stuck in his stuffy place is the real problem." The room was rather warm, people would shove against him and Petra earning them a glare, or would bump into them while trying to move around, people were warm from dancing so much and that made the atmosphere even hotter.

"Yes, how about we take our leave outside? Just for a moment to get some fresh air." She proposed her idea and got a hum of acknowledgment from Levi. "I like your thinking, let's go." As he moved his hands from her waist he felt himself reaching to hold her hand in his own again, he stopped and let her grab his own instead before making her way through the crowd, the raven behind. "Now where are those two off to?" Of course the squad had noticed the raven and ginger hair walking through the crowd, the only thing they could see of the two, they were both quite small after all.

"Much cooler." She let out a sigh of relief as they got outside into the garden, levi inhaled the cold air and then exhaled back out, it was much nicer out here, the birds were chirping still despite how late it was, the fairy lights that lit up the garden were still shining bright, illuminating the pair.

"Definitely.." he agreed, the two stood there quietly for a moment before the red head put her hands on his shoulders again. "I know I said that I only wanted one dance..but after that first one it would be really nice to get a second one, so now we're more alone, can I have a second dance captain?" Before he could think his hands were on her waist again, wanting this as much as she did, it was rather romantic in his opinion, but then again he didn't really know what was classed as romantic and what was not. "I.. think I can manage a second dance for you Ral."

"Thank you Ackerman." She pressed a small kiss onto his cheek as a thank you, taking him off guard for just a moment, this was the most fun he'd had at a gathering like this, he wouldn't lie to himslef, he only hoped there were many more dances to come in the future with Petra and Petra only.

[emptyheartfoolbrain]

You've never made me feel alive or completed a puzzle that was missing a few pieces

You've never been the sky to my ocean

the easy metaphor to fill in a sentence

Those are words used when I thought you needed them, chosen for their simplicity in communicating that your presence in my life was greater than the sum of its parts

You've always just been a woman

The one I choose to sit by through the rainstorms, the rainbows, and the eye of the hurricane

Just a woman

Scars and flaws

Flesh and blood

Pain and trauma

just like the rest of us

You have always been just a person, scared as I am of the world's mistreatment

And already hurt by it too many times to count

What made you special is the memories we made together

What makes you different is that you chose to hang around me for so many of your days

But that doesn't mean you belong next to the sun, or that i ever truly held you higher than you belong

I wrote those words when I thought you needed them

Repeated what I thought was to be said, because movies taught me that clever boys use their clever words to describe beautiful girls to the world

The truth

Is that you never held the meaning to my life

Or my reasons for waking up

You were a kind and broken person full of jagged edges and sweet moments

You made me bleed

Never tried to impress me

Never wanted me to give you words I find precious

You just were

Existing as yourself even when you aren't sure who yourself is today

You just Were

You were never afraid to poison my drink if I got out of line

You are just a woman

Made of complex emotions and short sighted moments

Decisions made under the pressures of a clock that was never running out

A woman filled with insecurities and anger and bloody knuckles from fighting back your own demons

I expect nothing from you, but for you to be the amazing and complex woman you are

Waxing and Waning between stunning brillaince and mundane grays

Do I find you singular and astounding?

Of course I do, but that's because I made a decision to marry you, and shut my brain off to the possibility of other beings conjuring up the emotions I love feeling for you

With you

There are a thousand other girls just like you

Who love Halloween over Christmas

Wish they were Morticia Addams

Still hate their dad

Love art, and death

And plays by Shakespeare where Tom Hiddleston looks great in leather

Love their mama

And their cat

Don't cook for themselves

or never wanted to marry

because they never wanted to be domesticated by some dumb boy with a pretty smile and clever ways to spin a phrase

Yeah, you're just another broken girl trying to gain your own peace of mind

And I'm just a busted boy who accepted he would never find his

So why act like i searched for mine inside you

I never did

Came to you seeking a companion to ride out the storms

A friend to hold hands with

A woman that i could keep warm on cold nights

A person i could love

You never gave my life meaning

Allowing myself to love you was meaningful all it's own

You don't hold up my reason for existing

Your existence is reason for me to hold up my head and keep smiling

Because someone like you was around and spent time with me and loved me and that all happening in one lifetime is a miracle

You aren't the miracle that made me able to love again

And taught me how to dance in the rain

or that I could just be strange

It's a miracle that we met and fell in love and that is what i celebrate

that we found safety in the same harbor for even one night much less 7 year's worth of nights

That is my cause to stand in awe of

Not because you shone so bright that the stars were jealous of you

Or because your smile made the ocean roll back the tide to let you open your heart to the possibilities of true love

Not because I couldn't believe someone of your status and stature would spend any moments with a low born fool like myself

Not because it couldn't have been anyone else who sat on that beach with me and watched seven years of sunsets and storms roll by

But because it couldve been

It could've been any other

But

It

Was

You

Simple

Strange

Just

Another

Girl

You

[perenlop]

📌🎶🏳️‍🌈 for pmd?

📌 how did you find your hyperfixation?

it was through a tv commercial for explorers of sky when it came out! before that i had no interest (in fact i kinda disliked it) in pokemon whatsoever, i was just into kirby and sonic and didnt care for when pokemon overlapped bc i didnt care and didnt want to. but i saw the commercial where you could BE the pokemon and like. ig that tapped into baby furry instincts bc once i saw that i asked for it and got it for christmas and here we are, pokemon being my main special interest. huh. it couldve also been riolu, while its average for me that was the first pokemon design i saw where i was like “OH i love them actually”

🎶 if your hyperfixation has songs/an ost, what is your favorite song from it?

TIME GEAR is like one of my comfort songs tbh. oh my god. a lot of pmd2’s ost does that for me but time gear takes the case because everytime it plays it hits like a truck. like the contrast when it plays during the fogbound lake trip and when it plays when the hero learns their actual role in the story HURTS but it works so well. it somehow captures both the beauty and unaware wonder of the former and the grief, tragedy, and determination of the latter. the way the song is soft until it builds to a loud crescendo of hyperawareness of your plight, like its a reminder of your mission, highlighting the tragedy of it all while still giving hope and reassurance that it will all be okay. it has to be okay. you have such a weight on your shoulders, everyone is counting on you, you cant bear to let it all go, but you will be okay. you can handle it. you are not alone, you have all these friends besides you. you have your most trusted partner by your side, loving and supporting your throughout. even if it ends in goodbye, you will meet again, and you will prevail. you just hope that when the time comes, you will be able to smile and know that you succeeded. and when the time comes, you will be helped in return.

🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you?

grovyle and celebi are trans bicons tbh! also these are personal to my own hero/partner from pmd2/gti but i hc my hero from sky to be autistic, selectively mute, and nb lesbian while the partner is a trans adhd lesbian with anxiety, and the hero from gti to be a he/him nb lesbian with adhd while the partner is a she/her gay ace man

[lizacstuff]

This is a @cssecretsanta2k18 gift for @edgeofrealms  It was such a joy getting to be your CS Secret Santa and I’m so sorry this is so late. Shall we call it a New Year’s gift? This little fic was inspired by our conversations. You said you liked fluff and you said:

“I wish we couldve seen more of their life post- the final battle. like emmas pregnancy and how they adjusted to being married.”

So that’s what this is, I hope you enjoy!

Title: Making More than Pancakes

Summary: Emma’s pregnant and a wee bit cranky, Killian’s bent on reading pregnancy books and feeding her nutritious food and the Charmings have decided it’s time to decorate the nursery. Set post 7x02, a heartwarming look at a day in the life of Captain Swan while they’re expecting.

Fanfiction.net     AO3

xxx

Emma looked down at her breakfast and sighed.  She loved her husband, she really did, but she did not love pasteurized Greek yogurt with vegan, gluten-free, protein-rich granola for breakfast.  At least there were some berries on top. Where did one even get organic, vegan, gluten-free, protein-rich granola in Storybrooke?

She looked over to where he was bustling around the kitchen wearing a ‘Pirates have more fun’ apron that a then 16-year-old Henry had thought a hilarious Christmas gift. “Did you cross the town line to get this?” she pointed to the bowl on the table in front of her.

His eyes lit up, clearly delighted with himself. “Aye.”

“Why?”

“The market in town has insufficient selection. I read-”

“Oh boy,” Emma interrupted and put down her spoon. “I’m going to take the internet away from you.”

His eyes widened in horror at the thought. “The computer contains much useful information on your current state, Swan. You and the baby need calcium and protein and nutrients and-”

“They have granola at the market here in town,” Emma pointed out practically, before adding, “And you don’t have to drive an hour to get it.”

Killian shook his head. “The brand at the local market is full of sugar and very few nutrients comparatively.”

“Why does it need to be vegan if you’re putting it over yogurt anyway?” Emma asked practically.

“It doesn’t, but this brand was rated the most nutritious in a variety of categories.”

She looked at him with the sweetest smile she could muster. “You could make me a pancake instead.”

His smile in return was affectionate, but he shook his head.

“Why?” Emma whined.

“Because they are nutrient free and last time you put chocolate chips and whip cream on them. Empty calories. Pancakes are for special occasions. A treat.”

“It’s Saturday, Saturday should be a special occasion.” Emma replied with a note of irritation in her voice. Then she motioned to her husband, “If you won’t make me pancakes, then why are you wearing that apron? All you did was put yogurt in a bowl.”

Emma had been showing flashes of annoyance as the pregnancy progressed, however he’d read several pregnancy books and they informed him this was normal, having something to do with hormones. With a smile, Killian moved towards her until he could lean around and drop a kiss on her forehead. “I’m wearing it because it reminds me of our lad.”

“Oh.” Emma’s frustration crumbled and she felt her heart squeeze at the mention of her son. Their son. She missed him fiercely. “I miss him, too.”

“I’m sure we’ll see him soon,” Killian said with more conviction than he felt.

“You know what would help with the missing?” Emma asked with a bit of a sniffle.

“What, love?” Killian asked with twin notes of curiosity and eagerness.  

“Hot chocolate.” Emma supplied hopefully.

Killian leaned back against the stove and cocked an eyebrow at her, but before he could respond, the front door banged open.

With a start, they instantly found the source of the intrusion. Storybrooke might have been quiet these last few years, but they were still both in a state of constant readiness.

Emma sighed with relief and a bit of exasperation. “Mom, we’ve talked about knocking.”

“Pfft, you’re almost nine months pregnant, what would there be to walk in on?” Snow chuckled, as she made her way into the living room, carrying a large laundry basket filled to the brim.

Emma gave her a pointed look that was supposed to convey that her mother was wrong, but internally she winced. It had been awhile since there’d been anything to interrupt.  

“I’m sorry it’s so early, but we dropped Neal at soccer practice and since he has a play date afterwards with one of his teammates, we actually have some free time this morning.”

“What’s all this?” Killian asked as he wandered towards the couch and peered into the basket now sitting on the coffee table.

“Swatches, paint samples,” Snow explained eagerly, before adding, “It’s time to make some decisions on the nursery.”

“Killian and I were thinking we’d wait until the baby comes, since we don’t know if we’re having a boy or a girl.”

“Nonsense,” Snow waved that idea away with her hand. “You don’t want to bring a baby home to an unfinished nursey, trust me you will not have the energy to decorate after the baby is born. There are plenty of wonderful options that are gender neutral. Besides, who ever heard of a color having a gender anyway? Personally, I like this one,” she pulled out a card with bright, sunshine yellow paint on it and brought it over for Emma to inspect.

Emma turned the card over in her hand. “It’s a bit much.”

“Yellow is a happy color,” Snow replied brightly.

“I did read that on the computer,” Killian agreed. “There was a study of children and the color of their living quarters, children in yellow rooms were happiest.”  

“Yeah, but our infant will need sunglasses in order to sleep and I don’t know where we’d find ones that tiny,” Emma retorted sardonically.

“Well how about this?” Snow pulled another paint chip from her bag, this time a deep turquois.

“We agreed that we were going to offer to help, not force our taste on them.” A voice from the door sounded.

“Dad,” Emma smiled at the welcome sight of her father and started the arduous process of pushing herself up from the table.

Her father gestured for her to stay put, instead he walked over and dropped a kiss on her head and then looked to Killian, “Nice apron.”

“An old gift from Henry.” Killian replied without a trace of self-consciousness.

David paused for a beat and then nodded, a sign he understood the impetus behind Killian wearing the apron. Then he clapped his hands together. “I hear you have a crib that needs to be built, lead me to it.”

Killian glanced to Emma with a raised eyebrow. “You called your father? I thought you wanted to help me assemble it?”

“I did, but that was before I got so uncomfortable that I can’t even sit on the floor. Dad and I assembled Neal’s, so he knows what to do.”

Killian didn’t show either emotion, but he was both relieved and disappointed. In the last trimester of her pregnancy, Emma had exhibited less patience than usual. With David, he would make quicker work of the crib than he would with Emma, but it had been something he was looking forward to doing with his wife.  There was also the fact he was exhausted and had been planning to go back to bed after breakfast. It had been a late night, or rather early morning, of sheriff duty and he’d gotten less than two hours of sleep… but perhaps working without sleep would be good practice for when the baby came.  Resigned to his fate, he looked to his father-in-law. “The boxes are in the nursery, as are an assortment of gadgets and tools, do we require anything else to complete the task?”

“A cold beverage?” David suggested with a grin.

“Beer?” Killian asked with surprise. Over the years, the two had spent a lot of leisure time together and Killian knew that when David referred to a cold beverage he meant beer.

“Sounds great.”

“David!” Snow admonished with a scandalized expression. “It’s not even 9am.”

David shrugged, but relented and pointed to the coffee pot. “Then I suppose a bit more caffeine wouldn’t hurt.”

Killian poured them both cups, and then offered to pour one for Snow who declined saying she’d help herself.  The expectant father started to follow David, but then turned back to his mother-in-law and said, “See that she eats her breakfast,” before disappearing up the stairs.

“Covering it in chocolate syrup is the only way you’re getting me to eat this.” Emma retorted softly enough that she knew Killian wouldn’t hear.

“Is it so awful?” Snow asked as she surveyed her daughter’s half-eaten bowl of yogurt and granola.

“No, it’s not bad, it’s just not pancakes… or waffles… or French toast… or a bear claw.”

“Ah… has he at least stopped offering fish for breakfast?”

Emma gave a huff of a laugh, “We broke him of that habit years ago, but, yes, now he only eats fish for non-breakfast meals. However, these days he’s being very careful about what fish he serves, you see apparently some fish is recommended as part of a diet for pregnant women, but you have to be careful about mercury. He’s an expert. All I know is once a week we have salmon for dinner… usually served with broccoli and spinach.”

“Well it’s not a bad thing that one of you is worried about nutrition.” Snow said as she walked to the coffee table to retrieve her laundry basket full of items. Once she’d heaved it on the kitchen table, she poured herself a cup of coffee.

Emma felt herself prickle at her mother’s comment, but instead of saying anything about it sighed, “I miss coffee.”

“I’m sure Killian would make you some decaffeinated,” Snow replied perkily.

Emma refrained from rolling her eyes, but she felt like it. “Not the same.”

“Well you’ll be able to have coffee soon enough.”

“Sure, after another six months to a year of breastfeeding.”

Snow looked at her daughter with concern. “Everything okay?”

At that, Emma looked up, “Yeah, sure, why wouldn’t it be?” Wanting to change the subject, she pushed herself up from her chair so she could take her breakfast dishes to the sink and on her way back motioned to her mother’s basket.  “Show me what you brought.”

Excitedly, Snow removed paint chips and fabric swatches and starting laying them out on the table.  

Emma looked down at the abundance of color in front of her. The paint chips made a vivid rainbow against the wood of the table. Then her eyes traveled to the fabric swatches. There was a swatch with ducks, one with whales, and one with frogs. Other samples had themes ranging from clowns to sail boats to the moon and the stars, some had the same patterns, but in different colors. Overwhelmed Emma plopped back down in her seat.

Snow sat down next to her and started explaining the colors, the differences in tone and hue, which were complimentary, which would work with the fabric.  When she finally stopped talking to take a breath, she glanced expectantly to Emma who in turn was looking a little dazed.

“Emma,” Snow nudged her gently, “What do you think?”

“What do I think? I don’t know.  I don’t know what to think. Other than… how am I going to be a good mother?  I don’t eat right and I can’t even pick a color for the nursery!” Emma replied, startling even herself.  Instantly she felt a hot sting behind her eyes.  She sat for a moment willing herself not to cry, she did not succeed.

“Oh honey,” Snow said as she searched for a tissue. Finding a napkin, she handed it to Emma before reaching over and rubbing a comforting circle on Emma’s back. “Where is this coming from? You’re already a wonderful mother.”

Emma just looked at her and blew her nose.  

Snow knew what she was thinking, and a bit how she felt. Henry had been an adolescent when Emma came into his life, mothering an infant was different.  “You’ll be great with an infant; you were great with your brother when he was a baby.”

“Babysitting is not the same… also there was a time when you wouldn’t even let me hold my brother.”

Snow grimaced guiltily at the memory. “Oh Emma, you’re not letting that bother you, are you? Those were very special circumstances for a few days while you were having trouble controlling your powers. You’re perfectly in control of them now; it’s no longer a concern at all.”

Emma shrugged as she let her gaze drift down to her stomach. “Maybe, but this little one is going to depend on me for everything. There’s so much more responsibility with a baby.”

Snow looked at her incredulously before saying, “The Savior, who had the weight of the world, the weight of everyone’s happy endings on her shoulders, and won, isn’t responsible enough to care for a baby? Hogwash.”

Emma snorted at her mother’s colorful language. She hadn’t thought about it like that, she had shouldered a lot of responsibility in the not so distant past. Even if it wasn’t the same. She’d never asked to be the Savior; she’d just done what was necessary when thrust into the role. However, she had asked to be a parent; she’d tried to get pregnant for a very long time, and now that the time was almost here, she was afraid she wouldn’t be up to the task.  

“I don’t know. There’s so much to think about… you said it yourself.” Emma sounded a bit defensive as she mimicked her mother’s words from a few minutes earlier. “‘It’s not a bad thing that one of you is worried about nutrition.’ See, I can’t even be trusted with what I eat.”

Snow shook her head, but replied gently, “Are you kidding? Emma, you are eating healthier than 90% of pregnant women I’ve ever seen.”

“But that’s just because Killian has been doing the shopping and the meal prep, if it was left to me; I’d be eating onion rings and pancakes.”

“Then have a pancake. You deserve it.  Killian might be going a little bit overboard with the nutritious eating, but it is good that one of you is worrying about it. You balance each other out, and you will continue to balance each other out as parents.”

Emma sat back and thought about that.  Maybe that was true, maybe they did balance each other, he shored up her shortcomings and vice versa.

While Emma was pondering that, Snow’s mind went in a very different direction. After a minute, she swallowed roughly and said a truth that none of them confronted very often. “Emma, one thing we know for sure, your baby is going to have a much better mother than you had.”

Emma looked up quickly and met her mother’s eyes. “Mom, don’t say that.”

“No, it’s true; we both know it’s true.  I think you know how much I wish things had been different, but I wasn’t there, but you will be. That is the most important thing. Being there.”

Emma bit her lip, and then in a rough voice, said, “I do worry about that, about something going wrong again. I know I won’t have to make a decision like the one I made with Henry, but I do worry about something happening outside our control…”

Snow brought her hand to her daughter’s belly. “You will be there for every moment with this precious gift, and I promise you, your father and I, and Killian, of course, will do everything in our power to make sure nothing separates the two of you. If Henry or Regina happen to stir up more trouble while they are off adventuring, and goodness knows what Rumple is up to, then we’ll deal with it as a family, but there will be no separating of babies from their mothers.” Snow’s eyes were full of unshed tears, but she smiled brightly, “I decree it as Queen. And President of the Storybrooke Town Council.”

“Then it is done,” Emma replied with a laugh and reached over and gave her mother a hug. It was silly, there was no kingdom in Storybrooke, but her mother’s words gave her comfort.  Unlike when she was pregnant with Henry, she was surrounded by people who loved her, supported her, and would help her keep this child safe.

“You know what?” Emma asked with a sniff as she turned back to the table. “Maybe I can pick a color. The yellow is growing on me, if kids with yellow walls are happier then why not… but not that bright yellow you showed me before, is there something a bit softer?”

“How about this one?” Snow fingered through the pile until she found the one she was looking for. She handed the card of pale, buttery yellow to Emma.  

Emma held out the chip in front of her and tried picturing the room they’d designated as the nursery painted in the warm color.  Yes, this could work, cheery, but not overwhelming.

“It’s called duckling yellow.”

Emma smiled, that sealed it. “Perfect.”

Xxx

“You’ve resorted to force-feeding your wife, huh?”

Killian looked up at David from where he sat on the floor looking at the directions that came with the crib. “Force-feeding? I’m doing no such thing. I’m providing plenty of nutritious sustenance for Emma and our unborn child.”

“Right, well, I found when Snow was pregnant that she had cravings and it was best to let her have whatever she wanted.”

“Of course, I want Emma to have her heart’s desire, but if left to her own culinary devices all these years, she and Henry would have subsisted on a diet of pop tarts and items that are breaded and fried.” Killian frowned disdainfully.  “It’s even more important now that Emma is with child that she is supplied with an abundance of healthy food.”

“You might slip in a hot dog now and then, is all I’m saying, to keep her happy and sane.”

Killian looked at him in horror. “I will have you know that processed meats are not recommended for pregnant women.”

David looked at him, actually impressed. “You have studied up.”

“The internet has been most enlightening and I’ve read several books.”

David nodded as he organized the assortment of screws that came with the crib, and then cleared his throat before stuttering, “Um… I… have something… but… uh… I don’t want to offend you…”

That stopped Killian and he looked up from the crib directions he’d been reading.  “That’s an ominous beginning.”

David shrugged before launching into an explanation.  “Recently, I was throwing the ball with Wilby and it sparked an idea. I ordered some things and played around with them in the barn. Long story short, I made you something that might come in handy, but I don’t want you to think I don’t trust you around my grandchild.”

“Ever more ominous,” Killian knit his brows together, but said nothing more.  He had his own trepidations about what kind of father he would be, he wasn’t sure he was ready to listen to Emma’s father list his inadequacies, especially if it had to do with him not being fit to be around his own child.

David reached in his pocket and pulled out a small rounded object that appeared to be made of some sort of rubber.  He handed it to Killian.

Killian turned it over in his good hand, “What is it?”

“It was a rubber ball, I cut open a bunch of them trying to find one with the right consistency, and then I shaped it and cut it down to size.  It’s to blunt the sharp end of your hook while you’re holding the baby. Honestly, I thought it might give you confidence and comfort, especially when you have a newborn. I know I was nervous about holding my kids as infants and I don’t have a sharp appendage.”

Killian studied it and saw that there was a slit on the flat end of the object. He squinted in concentration as he brought it to his hook and slid it on.  He turned it one way and then the next surveying the bulbous pink object and then tried it out several times by knocking it on the hard wood floor. His hook bounced off the surface, damaging neither the floor nor the ball.

David pointed to his handwork, “See I put tiny reinforcements in the slit so that the hook wouldn’t slice through the softer material.”

“I don’t know what to say.” Killian said feeling quite gratified.  “This is… this is great. I… I, it would be a lie to say that I haven’t been apprehensive about it, I thought I’d switch to the false hand I wear when I need disguise, but I’m more comfortable in the hook, so… I… thank you.”

Pleased that his gift had been taken in the spirit it had been intended, David nodded and said, “You’re welcome. One less thing for you to worry about and now that I’ve figured it out; I can easily make another if you need it. Let me know.”

“I appreciate that.” Killian said before gulping. A moment later he added, “You’re right, these days… a lot of things cause me worry.”

David looked at him quizzically; it wasn’t very often that his son-in-law opened up to him. “Well that’s very natural at this stage of the game. Every expectant father who is only weeks away is worried.”

Killian nodded, but then added, “Not every expectant father has my history. It’s not… well, you know better than anyone, I don’t have a great history with fathers.”

David took a deep breath and then shook his head. “Killian, that’s all behind you and you’re not going to make the mistakes our fathers made and you’re not going to go back to being the person you were. You have experienced more than most people would over several life times and it has brought you to a place where you are not only a changed man, but a wise man.” David them slapped his son-in-law on the back. “Plus I know you are going to be a great father, look you’re sitting there in a silly apron just because Henry gave it to you. You’re already a great father, and you’re a great husband. And if you’ve convinced me that you’re good enough for my baby girl, you know it’s true.”

Killian swallowed roughly, met the other man’s gaze, and gave him a nod of acknowledgement.  Then a grin stole over his face as he held up his hook. “This is a fetching pink color; you must think we’re having a girl.”

“Actually, the ball that had the right density just happened to be that color.  It’s just a plus that you get to walk around with a pink accessory.”

“As with my apron, I will wear it with pride.” Killian said and he meant it.

Xxx

The crib assembly took longer than anticipated, but eventually was complete.  Snow left hours earlier only to return with Neal, so it wasn’t until early afternoon that Killian and Emma finally found themselves alone.

By mutual agreement, they headed to the bedroom… to sleep.

xxx

With a slightly suspicious smile and a mischievous gleam in his eye, Killian moved silently across the kitchen, until he sidled up behind his wife, simultaneously sliding his hook arm around her midsection and pressing a kiss just below her ear.

“Hi.” Emma relaxed back into him, still keeping an eye on the stove.

“Hi, my naughty wife,” Killian murmured into her ear, pressing his nose to her temple and taking in her scent.

“Naughty? I don’t remember doing anything naughty recently; did I miss something during our nap?” Emma sighed and closed her eyes, briefly enjoying his embrace, before getting back to business and flipping a pancake with practiced finesse.

“Love, you know why you’re naughty, you shouldn’t be exerting yourself in this manner. It’s my job to feed you while you’re eating for two. If you were hungry, why didn’t you wake me so I could prepare dinner?” With his free hand he rubbed the shoulder over which he was not leaning.

Emma gave a quick shake of her head. “Because you were resting. You barely slept last night, between me tossing and turning and then you having to go out on that 2am drunk and disorderly – we really need to do something about the dwarfs,” she flipped another pancake with her right hand as her left came to caress the hook that was resting gently on her belly. “You should have slept in this morning, but instead you got up to make me breakfast, which was unnecessary by the way, and then my parents showed up. I wanted to let you sleep, and besides I’m not an invalid, I can make pancakes, and you won’t make me pancakes,” Emma said the last part with a note of defiance. She set the skillet on an unused burner and turned off the stove. “However, if you want to get naughty that can be arranged,” her voice was seductive as she turned in one fluid motion and searched for Killian’s mouth with hers, intending to deliver a searing kiss.

Or at least that had been the plan. However, as soon as she turned, her swollen stomach hit Killian’s midsection knocking him back so forcefully that his feet tangled and he fell back, his behind hitting the tile of the kitchen floor.

Killian chuckled good-naturedly as he reached to steady himself on the floor, but Emma burst into tears.

His laugh died instantly on his lips, and his heart dropped at the sound. He scrambled to his feet and in an instant was wrapping his arms around her from the side, pulling her to him. “Love, please don’t cry, what’s wrong?” he whispered as he pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“I’m huge,” she sniffled after a minute, “And not sexy, and probably couldn’t get naughty even if you wanted me.”

He squeezed her gently, “Love, you are 36 weeks pregnant with our child which is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen, and not a moment has gone by since the day we met that I haven’t wanted you.”

“You’re just saying that,” she sniffed.

Killian let go of her only long enough to reach over to the kitchen counter and grab a tissue. Tenderly he dabbed her wet cheeks. “I promise you I’m not and I’ll happily prove it to you if you doubt my veracity, but for right now why don’t we get you off of your feet and I’ll finish… dinner.” With his chin, he nudged her cheek towards the kitchen table.

Instead of moving to disentangle with him, she relaxed more into his embrace.  “I don’t know what’s wrong with me… that’s the second time I teared up today.”

“The second?” Killian asked with concern, “When was the first?”

“With my mom, it was silly… just feeling a little overwhelmed with fabric and paint choices.”

Killian leaned back slightly so he could see her face. “Darling, it’s totally natural. According to the pregnancy book your hormone levels are changing and many women find that they cry more easily during pregnancy.”

“I haven’t finished the pregnancy book.” Emma admitted.

He gave her a gentle squeeze. “That’s all right because, I have.”

That made Emma smile. Her mom was right; they did balance each other out.  

“I suppose you’re going to throw those out,” she looked longingly at the pancakes on the stove, “and instead feed me a skinless, organic, free-range chicken breast over a bed of quinoa with steamed carrots and green beans.”

“Of course not, Swan. If you want pancakes, pancakes you shall have.”

“Really?”

“Really.” He kissed her temple. “Emma, I want to take care of you. I want you to have everything you and the baby need. Perhaps I went overboard with the healthy eating.  I want you and our baby to be happy and if pancakes make you happy, so be it.”

Instead of moving to sit down, Emma turned her face and pressed her forehead to his. “Thank you, I love…”

With an expectant grin, he leaned back and waited for the end of her declaration.

“…pancakes,” she finished with faux earnestness.

Killian chuckled, guided her to her chair at the kitchen table, and then bustled around getting plates utensils, butter, and syrup. He even sprinkled chocolate chips over the inviting mound of pancakes on her plate. Emma looked ecstatic.

As she dug in to the feast, Killian sat across from her and said, “I had a talk with your father this morning. He encouraged me to relax a bit on the healthy eating.”

Emma swallowed a mouthful of the delicious food and admitted. “And my mom encouraged me to appreciate how you balance out my tendencies towards junk food.” Emma held out her glass full of orange juice to Killian as if to offer a toast. “Here’s to balance.”

“To balance,” Killian clinked his glass against hers. “Speaking of your parents’ wisdom…” He leaned back in order to rummaged around in his pocket, before pulling out his new pink, hook protector. “Your father gifted me with this.”

“What is it?” Emma asked curiously.

Killian placed it on his hook and then brought it to tap against the table, “It’s to protect the cygnet.”

Emma shook her head, “Our baby doesn’t need protecting from you.”

Killian thought about that for a second, he certainly hoped that truer words had never been spoken. “No, never, but your father’s instinct was right, I’ll feel more confident holding our infant, changing diapers, feeding, if I’m wearing it.”

“Okay, whatever makes you more comfortable is good, because you are going to change a lot of diapers. I mean… a lot… mountains upon mountains of very, dirty diapers.”

“As you command, Captain,” Killian replied unfazed.

Emma smiled brightly at him and then remembered what else she talked to her mother about that morning. “Oh, hey, after I stopped crying, I actually did find a color for the nursery.”

“Aye?” he cocked an inquisitive eyebrow at her.

She nodded, “If you agree, of course.” Then she pushed back her chair, grabbed the paint sample from the counter and came around the table. Killian was a little surprised when he realized her intent to sit on his lap, but he dutifully pushed back his chair from the table to give her room. She plopped down, put one arm around his neck, and showed him the swatch by setting it on her pregnant belly. “It’s called Duckling Yellow, it’s not nearly as intense as that first yellow mom showed us, but it’s cheery like you said, and warm, and it would go with a lot of other colors and-”

“It’s perfect.” Killian interrupted.

“Are you sure, I don’t want to make the decision without you.”

“You’re not, I love it.”

She pressed a kiss to the apple of his cheek. “I’m so glad you’re the father of my child.”

He crooked his neck back in order to get a better look at her.  “Well, Swan, we’ve been married for five years so I hope there’s no question about that…”

She laughed but shook her head. “No, I mean it. I know I’ve been a bit… cranky lately.”

“My, love, you are growing our human inside of you, you may be as cranky as you wish.”

Emma smiled and kissed him again. “That’s why I’m so grateful.”

“You’re grateful you’re cranky?”

“No,” she nodded as one hand caressed the hair at the nape of his neck. “I’m grateful I have a partner who doesn’t care that I’m cranky and who wants to be there with me every step of the way, and who reads pregnancy books and goes to a lot of effort to feed me healthy foods. The last time I did this, I was terrified, alone and in a cell.  Now I have the most wonderful man in the world getting up in the morning after two hours of sleep just so he can make me a healthy breakfast. It’s… it’s wonderful and I appreciate it. I want you to know that.”

He leaned in and stole a kiss. “Well, Swan, I’m glad that you’re the mother of my child. We’re in this together.”

Emma beamed at him, brimming with happiness. They were in it together.

“But…” Killian’s face contorted into an exaggerated wince.

“But what?” Emma asked with concern.

“Darling, you have to get up my left leg is going to sleep.”

Emma pouted as she stood. “See, I’m huge, I knew it.”

“Nah, I just needed you to stand so I could do this.” Killian abruptly stood and then in one fluid movement, he easily picked her up– one arm behind her back the other under her knees– and headed towards the stairs, intent on a bit of naughty time. Emma shrieked and giggled the entire way to their bedroom.

The End.

[quinlin-blog1]

Blurb from What’s It Like

Axel Fletcher was a nine year old boy. He had brown eyes that were full of life and messy brown hair to match. He lived with his Mother and Father and his two siblings, both were girls.

Axel went to school like any other child would do, he did his homework, he got good grades and he even helped the Kindergartners with their lunches. But like any other child, Axel also got bullied.

It was always during break, Axel had just finished helping the Kindergarten class and he would make his way outside to the playground. Axel’s favorite spot on the playground, was under the slide. Not many kids went there because they were too busy playing on the swings or on the slide itself. All break, this was where Axel would sit, happily coloring in his drawing book, oblivious of the other children.

This obliviousness left Axel when two eighth grade boys came up to him. These two boys were known throughout the entire playground as the bullies and if you see them, you’d best avoid them. But unfortunately for Axel, today, he didn’t see them coming.

Axel was using an orange coloring pen, to color in the bill of the duck on the page, when suddenly the pen was ripped from his hands and a muddy, scuffed boots stepped right on his picture.

“Hey!” Axel exclaimed.

It was in the moment that Axel chose to look up at whoever had ruined his picture, expecting and hoping for it to be a kindergartener, playing around with him like they had done moments before, but not today.

“Watch it Shrimp!” The first boy told Axel as he snapped the coloring pen in his beefy hands.

Axel looked at the two boys, hoping that maybe he could just disappear and they would never see him again.

“Hey! We were talking to you Shrimp!” The second boy exclaimed.

Axel looked around the playground for a teacher, even another student that may help him, but the playground had been deserted. There wasn’t a teacher or student in sight. Now Axel really wish he was invisible.

The one boy watched ass Axel’s glance fleeted to his picture, so the older boy picked up the drawing and laugh a loud, fake laugh.

“What’s this supposed to be? Roadkill?”

Tears jumped to Axel’s eyes and he quickly looked away, hoping that the bullies wouldn’t see him crying and pick on him even more.

But luck, just didn’t like Axel today.

The first boy pulled Axel up by the collar of his shirt and then shoved Axel down to the hard gravel ground again. Axel could feel tiny pebbles sticking into the palms of his hands and his back and bum hurt from the harsh impact, but Axel didn’t cry, not again, he didn’t want to be weak in front of the older boys.

Once again, Axel was picked up by his collar and the second boy hung him on the edge on the railing for the slide, high enough to make sure that Axel’s feet didn’t touch the ground.

Axel thrashed and kicked, hoping that if he moved enough he would get unhooked, but looking down at the ground, it seemed much farther away than it had before and suddenly Axel didn’t want to fall, nor did he want to stay hooked on that railing. The two boys stepped back and started laughing cruelly, really, Axel didn’t see what was so funny. Why would you laugh at someone who’s stuck and can’t get down? But it was the mind of a big boy, as much as Axel tried, he didn’t understand how an eighth grader thought and didn’t think he ever would.

Now Axel was just hanging limply in the air, trying to hold his head up although it felt like his head weighed a million pounds. His legs were beginning to go numb and Axel already couldn’t feel his fingers. His back was getting cold from the light wind, the back of his shirt was stretching awkwardly and to make matters worse, the bell rang.

The bell rang, this meant that the other children would be coming out from wherever they had been playing and would see Axel hanging there. They were bound to laugh at him. He was going to get teased, laughed at and people would never let Axel live this day down.

But one good thing would come out of this, maybe a teacher would see.

‘Maybe they’ll get expelled’ Axel thought bitterly ‘maybe they’ll have to do community service.’

As children filled the school yard once more, Axel became aware of how many students there really were, there were hundreds. And they were all standing there, laughing at him.

Well most of them were, the only ones that weren’t were the ones that thought practical jokes were silly and a waste of time, but these children wouldn’t voice their thoughts, nor would they help poor Axel down from his perch, so really, Axel would remain there.

It was when a teacher came five minutes later that Axel finally got down. For the rest of the day, Axel kept his head down, hoping that his classmates wouldn’t tease him too harshly. The end of the day couldn’t have come quicker in Axel’s mind. As soon as the bell rang, Axel was out of his seat, grabbing his backpack and putting his coat on, soon Axel was running out the front doors of the school, ignoring the other people that were snickering and pointing.

The bus ride home wasn’t eventful. Axel sat in the seat closest to the driver hoping that no one would throw paper wads at him if he did this. But instead, kids just spat spit balls at the back of his neck and called out mean things. No matter how hard, Axel couldn’t shut it all out.

So when the bus reached his stop, Axel jumped up and ran out towards his home.

Axel opened his front door, took off his coat and shoes, dumped his backpack on the ground and ran up to his bedroom. He knew that his parents weren’t home yet, his mother was visiting his aunt in Florida whilst his father was at work. The babysitter was going to be there soon so Axel only had a few moments to himself.

In those moments, Axel decided that he was going to go hide himself in the attic and not come out for the rest of the day. In his mind, it made sense, he didn’t want to be bothered and no one went into the attic anyway, so Axel grabbed his favorite comic books, a few packages of crackers from the kitchen and pulled the ladder down. The attic was dusty, as attics are, in one corner there were boxes of old Christmas decorations that would not be taken out for another few months, in another corner there was a box that was labeled “Axel’s Baby stuff” and there was a clutter of other random boxes around the attic.

Axel found a folder out chair in one of the many boxes and unfolded it next to the grimy window. Looking out of the dirty glass pane, Axel could see the other houses on the street, cars driving, most likely filled with children from school, there were dogs running on the street, cats sitting on fences and leaves blowing from the trees. It was truly beautiful. Now that Axel cared. The beauty of the outside world never really struck Axel and he never understood why his mother was always talking about how amazing nature was.

Huffing, Axel sat back in the chair and watched as the sun slowly went down behind the clouds and down onto the horizon. He could hear his babysitter downstairs, calling for him, telling him that it was dinner, but Axel wasn’t hungry and he was pretty sure that if he tried to eat, it wouldn’t end well.

So Axel stayed in the chair, in the attic, looking out the window, watching as the sky faded into oranges and pinks and yellows, then as sit faded into a dark blue and black. The stars had come out by the time that Axel heard this front door opening, alerting him that his mother and father had returned home and his babysitter was leaving.

Something glittered in the sky and Axel looked up. It was a star, just like the other stars, but this one was special somehow. It was brighter, bigger and Axel could’ve looked at it all night long.

“If you wish on a star, maybe it will come true”

Axel remembered the words his mother had told him when he was young, of course Axel didn’t believe any of that nonsense at the time nor did he now, but it was worth a try.

So Axel closed his eyes, took a deep breath and thought to the star.

“I wish I was invisible. I wish that I was invisible and no one would ever know where I was. I wish that I was invisible so that I will never get teased again”

With that last thought, Axel opened his eyes and looked at his hands. When he realized that they were still there, he sighed.

Axel folded that chair up once more and put it back in its box, making sure that he put the box exactly where he found it, because he didn’t want his mother to be cross with him and then Axel went down the ladder.

“Axel! You didn’t eat your dinner” Axel’s Mother stated as he walked into the sitting room. She’d returned earlier that day.

“I’m not hungry” Axel said quietly.

“The Sitter said that you’ve been up in the attic since you got home from school. Did you need something?” Axel’s father asked.

Axel simply shook his head “I thought I would find my Soldier toy up there, but I couldn’t find him” Axel lied.

“Well I’m sure he’ll turn up. Now, go eat your dinner, I’ve just warmed it up and then go straight to bed” His mother ordered.

So Axel went and sat at the table and slowly ate his cold dinner. The chicken didn’t taste good, the potatoes were dry and his broccoli were mushy, all in all, Axel was excited to go to bed. Once he had finished his dinner, Axel put his plate in the sink, kissed his mother and father good night, then went up to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

As he did this, Axel wondered why his wish hadn’t worked.

‘Did I do it wrong? Was I missing something? Maybe the star needed some food and maybe it would have answered my wish if I had given it some chicken. Do stars eat chicken? Do stars eat at all?’

All these thoughts went through Axel’s mind as he finished brushing his teeth and he climbed into his warm bed.

Grabbing his stuffed bear, Axel closed his eyes and the last thing he saw was the star, before he fell asleep.

The next Morning Axel woke up dreading school. He didn’t want to go and he buried himself deeper into his covers, hoping that the world would disappear and school would cease to exist. But reality came to him when his babysitter called up the stairs to him, saying that it was time to go to school.

So Axel begrudgingly got out of his bed and trudged over to his cupboard, where he quickly got dressed, put on his shoes on, brushed out his hair and grabbed his backpack and ran down the stairs, where his sitter was holding his lunch.

“Turkey and Cheese, with no mayo and extra ketchup” His sitter recited.

Axel smiled a fake smile and took the paper bag out of the baby sitter’s hands.

“Thank you” He said before rushing out the door.

But as soon as he did, Axel felt a sudden wave of dizziness surround him, stumbling for a moment, Axel blinked the spots dancing in front of his eyes away and he continued to walk to the bus stop. He was hesitant when he saw that there were other kids standing there, he didn’t want to be made fun of because of what had happened yesterday, but when he arrived at the bus stop, no one greeted him, no one said hi, or asked him how he was, no one teased him, no one even looked at him. This relieved Axel, he waited at the bus stop in peace, and no one spoke to him, which was alright with Axel because he didn’t really know any of them.

When the bus arrived, Axel was the first to get on, he sat in the front row where no one else joined him.

In wasn’t a very long drive to school, around five minutes if the stops to pick up the other children weren’t long. During this short time, Axel looked out the window and waited to get to school, still dreading what might await him.

But finally the bus stopped at Axel’s school and all the children got off the bus, Axel going last, hoping to get lost in the crowd, but nobody noticed him.

Everything went normally, Axel went to his locker cubby, placed his coat and backpack in it, and then walked to class, where Axel sat at his desk, waiting for all the other children to join him.

Soon enough, the classroom slowly filled with other children and Axel’s teacher began roll call.

Considering the first letter in Axel’s name was A, his name was quite near the beginning of the list.

“Axel” His teacher called out

“Here!” Axel replied like always. But his teacher didn’t hear him.

“Axel?”

“Here!”

But once again, poor Axel wasn’t heard.

“He wasn’t on the bus today. Maybe he’s sick?” One of the other children suggested

“But I’m right here!” Axel protested, getting up out of his seat.

Axel walked over to his teacher and waved his hand in front of their face, but it was like Axel was invisible.

Then the thought hit Axel. He had wished on the start that he could be invisible, he woke up this morning and he wasn’t.

‘But then I got very dizzy when I walked out the front door’ Axel reminded himself ‘Maybe I’m only invisible when I’m not in my home’

This made Axel very happy. He could do whatever he wanted to and not have to worry about anybody seeing him.

Grinning to himself, Axel made his way silently (Although no one could hear him) out of the classroom and down the hall to find the grade eight class.

Inside this classroom, was a grade eight class learning about biology, and the two bullies from the day before were there as well.

Axel slowly walked into the classroom and sat in the teacher’s chair, watching ass the teacher explained bird physiology. Axel played with the things lying on the teacher’s desk, things like tack and erasers and confiscated phones. The class seemed to drag on forever in Axel’s mind and he was sure that some of the other students felt the same way. Some of them were staring blankly at the chalk board, other were napping with their heads tucked onto their desks, while there were very few writing down every word the Teacher was saying, whether it be important or not.

From what Axel gathered, the teacher was both telling a story about a bird and telling a story about his childhood, both were equally boring. Axel looked around the classroom for anything he could mess with and his eyes came into contact with the other chalk board. The one the teacher wasn’t writing on. One this chalk board was the date, the eighth grade lessons for that day, reminders about a math test on Wednesday and an old game of tic-tac-toe. Grinning, Axel made his way over to this board and picked up the chalk board eraser. Axel raised the Eraser and began to wipe away the words and numbers written there. Slightly paranoid, Axel kept looking over his shoulder to see if any of the students had seen him, but no one had, in fact Axel had remained invisible to the entire class.

Soon, Axel had wiped the entire chalkboard clean of the writing and he picked up a piece of blue chalk, grinning a Cheshire Cat grin. Axel put the chalk to the board and began drawing a giant wobbly picture. As he drew, the picture turned out to be a picture of a volcano, a blue volcano with pink lava flooding from the top. Personally, if you were to ask Axel, he’d say it was the best Volcano he had ever drawn. As Axel moved on to draw a spaceship hovering in the sky by the volcano, he realized that he was too short to reach the place he needed to. So Axel walked over to a stack of spare chairs in the corner and picked one up. Looking around Axel realized that surely someone would notice a floating chair being walked across the classroom.

Ignoring those thoughts Axel began to carry the chair to his old spot in front of the chalk board. To his shock, no one saw him.

Shrugging, Axel began to draw the Millennium Falcon from Star Wars.

AS he drew, Axel heard a grunt as one of the students woke up, yet he ignored this noise and continued to draw. Suddenly, the classroom erupted into whispers and chatter and the teacher stopped his droning.

“What is the matter?” He asked

One of the eighth grade students pointed to the chalk board and the teacher looked over and let out a shriek.

The author is sure that you would too if you saw a floating piece of chalk drawing a picture of a spaceship.

“What is this!?” The teacher demanded.

“The classroom is haunted!” One girl cried out

Grinning again, Axel put the chalk down, causing several children to squeal and look around to look for him. Axel went over to one of his bullies from yesterday and began playing with his hair.

“What’s happening!?” His friend exclaimed as Axel put a pencil in the boy’s ear.

As the cherry on the cake, Axel went over to the chalk board with the teachers writing and wrote, in giant letters. BOO!

Everyone in the classroom began to scream and they jumped from their seats out of the classroom, the teacher close behind them.

Axel was doubled over in fits of laughter as he listened to the class freak out in the hallways.

‘That was fun’ Axel thought to himself ‘What should I do now?’

As a response to that, Axel’s stomach rumbled and Axel happily skipped to the classroom, giggling as he passed the grade eight class. In the cafeteria, the lunch lady was scooping things into bowls, getting ready for lunch which happened to be very soon. Axel walked over and grabbed a piece of a turkey sandwich, which had been put on a plate not moments before. When the lunch Lady turned around and saw a sandwich missing she looked around and picked up a cleaver.

“Come here ya vermin, try it!” She then began to run around the cafeteria, trying to find the “Mice” that had stolen the sandwich.

The day went by too quickly for Axel’s liking. During the next few hours, he had thrown cheese strings at the Secretary, Poured water on the head of his French teacher, whom he thoroughly disliked, given flowers to the girl that he had a tiny crush on and sat in the principal’s office, while spinning on the Principal’s chair.

The bus ride home was pretty boring compared to the rest of the day, he stood at the very front, not sat, stood and waited to get off. When he got off the bus, he ran home and stopped at his porch.

‘If I go into my house, will I reappear?’ He asked himself. ‘Well I’ll have to go in sometime’

So Axel took a step forwards and walked into his house.

“Hey Axel” His babysitter said “How was school?” She looked over at his, smiling lightly.

Axel grinned and set his bag down “Oh you know, pretty boring”

[syfypredator]

Im finally in love with a straight guy

Ive been told that every gay guy has been in love with a straight guy at least once in their life. But that had not happened to me... until tonight.

I thought it was weird for me not to have developed feelings towards a straight guy yet, but I just thought it was because I’ve just never been close enough to many straight guys to be actually attracted to them. Attraction? Sure, feelings? Never.

Tonight it changed. It was honestly a rollercoaster. This is my last night out in Loughborough and since my breakup (like three weeks ago) I’ve just had the desperate urge to find someone to fill the void. Despite this town being a shithole to find gays, I’ve had some options, but nothing really happened woth them. Sometimes I just wasn’t interested or maybe it just wasnt mean’t to happen.

The point of this story is that I met Hunter. Hes not even straight, in his words: “I’m definitelly in the spectrum but I’d never have sex with a guy”.

This person kissed me like an hour ago, a long, passionate kiss, that still has me really confused, but inmensely bewitched.

Hunter happened a week ago. I was going to a house party in “hell house”, where a boy, which i get shivers everytime i see, lives in. My friends forced me to go but my intention was to stay for a bit and then leave. The point is, I got fed up and left. But although my intention was to go home, my friend texted me wantig me to go to her pres. I did.

I get there and I see this white guy, who was looking at me. I was interested. And he looked interested.

We go to the union at midnight and the queue is insane. There’s me, my friend Imogen, this other girl and Hunter. And this fucker has the brilliant idea to say “lets not get lost” and then he holds my hand, interlacing his fingers with mine. This is not what a straight guy would do, and definitely this is something I would not do. I got really confused but I was enjoying this, I felt desired again after the breakup, I felt lucky again. Long story short, nothing happened that night. Although he did add me on snapchat.

It gets weirder. He finally messaged me. I was surprised because I thought he was just not that interested. But to my surprise, he was just asking for advice on how to glue down his eyebrows for the upcoming drag ball. The ball came, he was there, and he stared at my ass the whole night. Thats all it really happened that day.

This was on a sunday, now today is friday and I had not seen him in a week.

I was determined on having sex tonight. Last day of term, my last night out before the christmas break. I had to end it with a bang. I even downloaded grindr again (I had deleted it when the relationship with luke got serious). I had some suitors, many sex propositions, but I just wanted him.

I was just so intrigued about hunter, this guy was showing a bit of interest, but not enough. I finally see him tonight. He tells me he was very impressed by my outfit at the drag ball, he congratulates me on my winning, and i congratulate him on his. I see him for a second time and I discover that he is actually not russian, or german, or anything other than pure english. I see him for the third and last time. By this time I was decided to get some answers. I pat him on his head and he comes to me.

Hes dancing and smiling at me. I’m just so charmed. But i had to ask: “What’s the deal with you?” “Like, fo you wanna be my friend? Or..?”. He just says “I don’t know, I’m confused”. I say “well, I really need you to tell me what’s going on”. He doesn’t say anything, instead he just keeps dancing. Next thing I know he’s kissing me, tougue, biting and hands. It lasted for a long minute. But I had to say “I heard you were in a weird open relationship?”. Again, I still needed some answers.

“Lets go outside” he says.

Once outside, in the cold. He starts telling me about how hes different, hes a weirdo. He’s not sexually attracted to boys but he felt the need to kiss me. That he grew up in a very open environment, and that he wishes straight men weren’t forced to act a certain way. “I just do what I feel like doing in the moment, and in that moment I felt like kissing you”.

It was a long talk. He told me about this breathing excercise that hes practicing when its cold. How he has a girl at home that he cant wait to have sex with. How the fact that kissing me was like litting the gossip fire with his friends. But I got stuck with one thing: “you are the only person I’ve kissed in this three months in Loughborough, and the second boy ever”.

Why tho? If youre not interested in me like that, why kiss me? Why tease me? You dont know what ive been through, you dont know all the time boys have done whatever the fuck theyve wanted with me. Why making me feel special saying “ youre the only...”. Whats the need?

I had a few options to choose from tonight, i couldve had sex tonight, easily, I just had to choose a guy. But I chose Hunter.

I went home and cried after we talked. Not because I hated this guy, but because I might have fallen in love with this guy.

5:05 am . 15/12/18