#it could’ve been worse but I needed to stop jfc

[wrathofrats]

Wrathhhhh, if you feed up to it/inspo strikes may be gets something where RainDrop takes Bug to bed for the first time?

I have fantastic news and 4k of me being weird.

Ao3 link

I got carried away raise your hand if you’re surprised.

4k of jealous dew, brat phantom and mean instigator rain.

It’s slightly toxic and dubious but they’re all having fun and enthusiastically want each other ok but just know it can read a bit dubcon until the middle.

Warnings for a bit of size shaming, degrading, dew acts like he hates phantom but he’s lying, dp, lots of fun weird jealousy, yeah idk what I was doing here

Phantom tried to focus on the plate in his hand. He dunked it back into the water, rolling his eyes in annoyance at the small speck of caked on food that simply wouldn’t come off. The water was a couple degrees too hot, leaving his skin red and uncomfortable. He could hear a mild chatter behind him through the sound of water sloshing and the abrasive sponge on the ceramic. No words to make out, but a more intense conversation at least.

Whatever ghouls' presence that was behind him was coming closer. He could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, a nervous reaction or his sensitive quintessence acting up he never is quite sure, but the air around him starts to smell like salt water and smoke combined with the dish soap that covers his arms.

“Told you phantom would be in here” rain sing songs to a much more unsatisfied dew.

“And I’ll blow you about it later, can you just hurry up?”

Phantom drops the dish back in the sink, a problem for whoever found it next. He shakes the water and suds off his arms before turning to face the two in front of him. Rain seemed happy, a light neutral expression on his face. He tucks a piece of black hair behind his ear as he watches phantoms own body language. Dew however seemed less enthused to see him. His shoulders slump inwards towards rain, arms crossed in front of him. He’s not even looking at phantom, instead staring at his boyfriend like he’s about to drag him away himself.

“Dew and I have a proposition for you” rain starts, giving phantom a once over for any signs he may run. He’s still the anxious new bug they know, eyes full of something akin to fear and intimidation just from rain approaching him. It makes rain feel powerful in an awful way that he knows is greedy.

“Yeah of course” phantom only looks rain in the eyes, not bothering to look over at dew, an action neither of them have missed.

“We think you’re cute bug, we see the way you look at us” rain flicks dews hand as he rolls his eyes at the word cute, “wanted to come ask if you’d possibly like to join us tonight, wanted to know if you’d be our good boy”

“Are you sure?” Phantom asks. Phantom tries to study them. Is it a joke? Are they making fun of him? Rain keeps his friendly expression, dew resigning to stare at the floor instead.

“Very, I think we could have a lot of fun with you if you’d let us”

“Then I want to hear it from him”

Dew nearly growls, his eyes wide at the sentence. The simple but cocky tone having him want to abandon the situation and tell rain he told him so. Knew he was a shit head that didn’t know how to behave correctly.

If dew was being honest with himself he would be more than happy to spoil the little quint with rain if he acted as sweet as he seems. But an ungrateful brat? No one deserved his rain, especially such a greedy thing. It only makes it worse when rain cocks his eyebrows at him expectantly, cueing him to tell phantom what he wants to hear.

He’s more than baffled, even if he shouldn’t be. Rain wanted a challenge, and he was going to get one.

“I want you to join us phantom” dew mumbles.

A bright smile breaks out on phantoms face. Rain beckons him with a finger to follow them back up to his room.

Dew would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit that his enthusiasm was a bit cute. Maybe he just wanted to be sure dew was ok with him joining. Maybe dew was wrong.

Phantom doesn’t hesitate to kneel on the bed once they walk into the room. Surely a known and practiced move, probably how Swiss makes him wait during their usual shenanigans. His hands sit crossed in his lap, his eyes focus only on rain to wait for his next instruction. Dew hopes he can be good, especially if he was this well trained already.

He pads over to card a hand through his hair, tugging at the black and white strands. Phantoms eyes close as he gasps and leans into the pressure on his scalp. He doesn’t try to pull away, even opens his eyes with a look that practically begs dew to pull harder.

“That’s a good boy, you gonna keep being good for us bug?” Dew asks, rubbing at his skin.

Phantom nods in return. His head stays nestled in dews palm, practically purring at the soft touch. It’s nice, much softer than either of them assumed the other would be.

“Oh, see dew? I knew he was a sweet boy.” Rain coos. It’s silent as he walks over to the bed, both ghouls watching for his next move, to tell them what to do. It’s an unconscious reaction in dew to immediately listen to rain, even if he’s supposed to also be in charge here. He knows he’s not, only allowed to have his fun as long as rain approves of it.

Rain stops in front of dew first, pulling him in for a small kiss. Nothing more than a peck on the lips. It’s short and sweet, rains hand lingers on dews neck for another second as he pulls away, staring at the fire ghoul with a loving smile.

He steps in front of phantom next. Another loving touch to the side of his face, something to hopefully calm whatever nerves the new ghoul has. It was supposed to be another chaste peck to the lips but before rain can stop him, phantom has his fists in his shirt, pulling him closer.

The kiss deepens much farther past what rain had intended. Lips slotting together easily as phantom licks into rains mouth. Dew can’t help but watch in horror, he’s sure if phantom was any stronger he would’ve had rain in his lap with the way he’s pulling at him. The wet smacking sound from their lips makes dew ball his fists in the sheets to keep himself from forcefully dragging phantom out of rains grasp. It doesn’t help that phantom fucking groans as rain bites his lips.

Finally rain pulls back after what feels like an hour. A line of spit connects their lips and dew is certain phantom is fucking looking at him for a reaction. A horrible smug look on his face, purely waiting for dew to say or do something about the interaction that just transpired.

“That wasn’t very sweet of you bug, thought you knew better than to take more than you’re allowed” rain lightly chastises him.

“Sorry” phantom whispers, his head turned to dew just to catch his eye before turning back to rain “guess I just got excited”

Rain can’t help but smile. He can’t bring himself to punish phantom yet, especially since he looks apologetic, can’t fault him for wanting to kiss him so badly.

“It’s alright just can’t let you get spoiled now can we?”

Dew stares, baffled. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“What?” Rain looks at him with a knowing smirk. Practically daring him to do something when they both know he won’t.

“You’re just going to let him get away with that?”

“He doesn’t know any better droplet, stupid thing just got desperate” rain practically purrs, turning back to phantom “didn’t you sweetheart?”

They all know the truth. Dew knows he knows better, rain knows he knows better, and phantom certainty knows, that they both know, that he knows better. But to dew it feels like phantom is truly testing his limits. He wants to see what will get both of them to break.

“And since when do desperate sluts get what they want?” Dew asks, also looking at phantom. Rain still has a hand on his cheek, making phantom nuzzle into his palm innocently.

“I certainly give you what you want dewdrop, even when you act like a jealous bitch. So why is this different?” Rain scolds, not even looking at him. “Dew likes to give me a challenge sometimes stardust, but you wouldn’t do that would you?”

“No sir”

Rain could just beam at the obedience. A pang of pride in his chest at how well phantom listens to him. It’s adorable honestly, how enthusiastic and compliant he is to rains words, not to mention the thick air of jealousy between him and dew. It all goes straight to his ego, only fueling him to be worse.

“You can’t let him think he can get away with shit. Honestly shouldn’t even be allowed to touch you since our play thing has forgotten its place” dew sneers.

“Didn’t think you were in charge here dewdrop” phantom taunts back.

“Excuse me? I have mo-“

“He’s right, you’re not in charge here darling and you know that” rain cuts dew off before he can finish his sentence. “Are you just jealous? Upset that phantom is getting more attention than you? Do you not trust me to take care of my angelfish?”

Rains tone is sickly sweet, daunting like the call of a siren. It has dew immediately quiet, listening to rains words as if his life depended on it. A part of the jealousy fades out of him, grateful for the way rain smiles when he looks at him.

“I do, just-“ dew attempts to stammer out an excuse.

“None of that then. Show phantom how sweet you can be to me”

Dew is on rain immediately. He easily rips his shirt off of him, discarding it next to the bed. His hands run down his lithe torso, hot kisses trailing behind them. Praising any inch of skin that rain will allow him to.

He runs his hands slowly down to rains sweatpants, giving a small look over to phantom who seems more flustered than he should be given the proposition. The quint can’t decide where to look, doesn’t want to look either ghoul in the eyes, doesn’t want to stare directly at rains tits, he settles for shifting his gaze wherever he can. From dews hands that grip rains waistband, to the floor, to rain looking down on dew hungrily, his arms now crossed in front of him, pushing his chest together. The slightest bit of cleavage that forms makes him want to drool.

“Want you to watch phantom, eyes over here starlight” rain whispers. Phantom swallows thickly, allowing his eyes to settle on dews hands.

Dew finally pulls at rains sweats, slowly revealing him to phantom. It’s a teasing pace, both ghouls watching to see his reaction. See how worked up they can get him without actually touching him.

The band finally stretches past the swell of his ass, loosening around his thighs, enough to drop to the floor. Rains skin is perfect, hairless, smooth, phantom thinks he may be drooling as he watches dew thumb over his hips with a possessive look on his face.

Phantoms breath hitches as rain bends over in front of him to kick off his pants completely. Still slow and teasing, as if he’s showing himself off. Rains completely exposed in this position, plump little ass practically in phantoms face, his cunt fully on display for phantom to gawk at. His folds are already slick and shiny with arousal. Phantom would do anything to taste him.

“Like what you see phantom?” Rain asks, standing back up to face him. He stands over him, looking down while phantom continues to stare at his chest.

“Fuck- “ phantom chokes “you��re so pretty”

“That all starlight?”

“Please rainy, let me worship you, let me play with your tits” phantom begs

And oh, that goes straight to rains head. The glassy eyed thing staring at him like he’s a marble statue, carved by the delicate hand of a master. It’s awful, he considers letting phantom touch him as he pleases until dew has his hands on his waist, pulling him back with a snarl.

“Absolutely not. Hands off”

“Dew” rain warns.

“You haven’t been good enough to touch him” dew growls again, staring phantom directly in the eye with a look that would be threatening to him if it was anyone besides dewdrop.

“And you’re still not in charge.” Rain scolds, tearing himself from dews grip. “Don’t be selfish, I gave you your attention. Didnt think it would make you so spoiled”

“But rainy” dew protests.

“Honestly I don’t think either of you have been good enough to touch me”

Dew and phantom look at each other in shock as rain moves to sit in the chair across from the bed. Thighs hiked up on the arm rests in a lazy position giving a perfect view of his cunt to the other two ghouls. He moves his hands down his thighs slowly as if he’s teasing himself, a wicked smile on his face.

“Think you two should make up, put on a show for me” rain rubs up between his folds, barely brushing his clit that is on display. He bites his lip at the electric shock that courses through his body from the small touch, a gasp on his lips.

“You don’t mean what I think you mean”

“You know I do. Make up with him and then if you do well enough you two can share me”

Phantom and dew stare at each other for a second in some kind of pseudo dominance contest. A silent argument of who will submit to the other, admit what is in their eyes, defeat.

“Gonna let me fuck you baby boy?” Dew asked, low and gravely as he crawls over to phantom who looks like he’s about to claw him if he lays a hand on him, “put on a good show for rainy? Sure you make such pretty sounds when you’re actually behaving”

“And who said I have to be the one whimpering like a whore? You seem to need to be rains bitch all the time, I might as well make you mine too”

Phantom sits up to face dew too, a mischievous look in his eyes. Another silent argument to see who backs down first without actually laying hands on each other. Dew wants a fight, more than happy with physical force, but the satisfaction of phantom possibly asking dew to fuck him is enough to keep him still in their stand off.

“You’d look so pretty though stuffed with my cock. I know you can be such an obedient little thing, maybe I just need to get you all stupid and cock drunk so you’ll be good” dew closes in, his face only inches from phantoms. Phantom can feel his hot breath on his neck, lips practically touching the sensitive skin. He doesn’t want to give up, doesn’t want to give dew the pleasure of knowing he’s won.

It’s hard to think. Between being able to smell rains own arousal, seeing him slowly play with himself at the sight of the two on the bed, and dew who is practically closing in on him. He would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit that dews harsh words and degrading tone weren’t getting to him.

“Just say yes bug, tell me how much you want me”

Dew grabs phantoms chin in his hand, looking down at him from hooded lids. There’s a dizzying feeling in his head from the way dews other hands roams his body. Pets over his hip, plays with the waistband of his pants asking to get rid of them. He wants it. He wants dews hands on him, wants him to shame him for giving up so easily. Doesn’t care if dew gets cocky about it, just wants to be touched finally.

“Please, do something just touch me, need you” phantom starts to babble. His hands fly to dews to help in tearing off his own clothes. He tugs at his pants with dew before ripping his shirt over his head. There’s no time to process his state of exposure before he’s throwing himself onto dew.

“God if I knew you’d be this easy I would’ve bent you over a long time ago” dew laughs.

“Shut up, just do something, anything” phantom growls. He roughly tugs at dews own clothing as dew simply lays back and lets him. He has a cocky aura to him, a smugness about letting phantom act desperate after his stunts earlier.

“Gotta stop groping me like a slut and then maybe I’ll fuck you like one”

Phantoms off him in an instant. He lays back against the headboard, thighs open as his cock sits red and angry on his belly. Dew can see everything in this position, phantom completely on display for him. The way his cock fucking leaks from being hard for what seems like hours now, his little hole that is basically begging for dews cock in it, he looks more obscene than dew would like to admit.

“Stop fucking teasing then and prove it” phantom groans while dew and rain just watch him. Rain still sits on his throne like he’s waiting to be impressed. A slow slick sound comes from his fingers as he continues to lazily stroke his cunt.

It’s a challenge, something to provoke dew into being rougher with him and they both know it. Phantoms dragged down the bed in a second, knees pushed up against his chest.

“Shouldn’t have to prove anything to you when you’re already whining for it. You’ll fucking take anyone as long as it gets your little dick off won’t you?” Dew spits sloppily into his hand, smearing the saliva around phantoms hole. It’s barely enough glide for two fingers as dew shoves them in haphazardly. Phantom scrunches his face at the burn, a small whimper coming out of his mouth.

“Yeah? Is that all you needed?”

“Just fuck me already please-“ phantom squeaks as dew leans down to tease at his cock. He mouths over it, cleans the pool of pre that gathered on his stomach. He can feel it twitch over his lips and if dew thought he had any more time he would be more than happy to continue to savor his taste.

“Gotta get you stretched out. Don’t want to hurt you” dew coos, scissoring his fingers to open phantom up.

“Make it hurt fuck- dew please make it hurt” phantom cries as dew kitten licks at the tip again.

Dew can’t help but let out a shaky curse at the quints begging. He tears his fingers out to spit again in an attempt to lube himself up enough for phantom, even despite the pleas for it to hurt. Dew thinks he may black out. Getting phantom underneath him is satisfying enough, but for him to beg him to hurt him? Let him make a mess of him in front of rain? Dew truly doesn’t know how he can control himself.

“Yeah, I got you baby boy don’t worry” dew reassures him. He’s cute, even despite his awful mouth.

They both groan in unison once dew finally pushes into him. He’s slow, watching phantom for any signs of actual discomfort, but phantom looks like he’s about to cry if he doesn’t cum soon. He arches off the bed, hands fisted in the sheets below him. There’s a pretty flush down his chest as he pants trying to adjust.

“Please move please dew you gotta move come on” phantom cries.

“I’ll make such a mess of you, promise I’ll take care of you”

Rain still watches in amusement. Seeing his dew fuck the brat out of the sweet ghoul below him is more than entertaining. It’s beyond arousing to see him so commanding, watching as he completely takes phantom apart on his cock. He fingers himself open watching the two desperately fuck each other. Slick leaks from the three fingers stuffed inside of him and onto the chair, hot and messy. He can’t help himself, can’t help the little grunts and whines he makes as he watches dew fuck phantom hard and fast into the mattress.

He can tell they’re both close, the insults and degrading words fizzled out into curses and moans that have rain trying to not bring himself to edge too just watching them.

“Stop, off of each other” rain calls out retracting his own soaked fingers from himself.

Phantom nearly sobs as dew does what he’s told and pulls out. He scrambles to grab at him to keep inside to no avail.

“No rain please I need it” phantom begs

“If you stay quiet I’ll let you both cum in me, give you a little treat for being good yeah?” Rain pets over phantoms hair, laughing a bit at the tears in his eyes before laying next to them.

“Didn’t think you two should be allowed to have all the fun. Especially since you’ve been whiny brats this entire time”

Rain beckons dew over with a finger, silently telling him what he wants. He’s already loose and slippery from playing with him, doesn’t take any effort for dew to slip right inside of him. He’s hot and wet and so fucking pretty that dew doesn’t know if he will be able to last.

“You too bug, come here” rains calls

“I- will I fit?”

“Baby I think aethers thicker than the two of you combined, more worried if you’ll even get me off like this”

It’s mean, degrading, rains harsh tone and uninterested expression making dew and phantom both desperate to please him. They can barely comprehend their own thoughts, long since close to their own edges. Phantom isn’t sure he will last either just being in rain, let alone with dew pressed tightly next to him.

It’s almost too much. Phantom barely fits despite rain chastising them for not being enough. It’s slick enough that he pops right in with a sick wet sound, making all 3 curse with each other.

“Can’t move rainy, too much” phantom cries. His limbs shake, thighs trying to keep from bucking into him even though he knows he will cum almost immediately.

“I know, let me cum around you two and I promise I’ll give you whatever you want” rain pants as he reaches down to circle his own clit. He’s sensitive, borderline painfully so. Can’t help but clench down every time he touches himself even though he’s stuffed to the brim.

It doesn’t help dew and phantoms situation, even just his tight cunt clenching around them has them both teetering on the edge of their own orgasms.

“Too close raincloud, it’s too much I won’t last please-“ dew calls out, vision blurry as rains continues to leak around them

“Cum for me then, fill me up” rain gasps. His fingers twitch as he gets closer.

It doesn’t take much, phantom and dew both painfully hard and sensitive, just a couple more strokes is all they need before they are both filling rain beyond his limit. It’s hot, too much as rain also cums around them, feeling his own slick gush out of him.

He’s gross, a complete mess as dew and phantom pull out to gawk at the sight in front of them. Rain is fucking gaping, cum and his own arousal leaking out of him. It’s obscene how ruined he looks, pussy swollen and abused.

“You ok raincloud?” Dew asked, slightly concerned as they all come down from their highs.

“M fine angelfish” rain pants. He’s flushed and tired, panting from exhaustion and how sore he’s starting to feel. “Proud of both of you, happy I finally got you to get along”

“Dew started it” phantom finally speaks up.

“Fuck you bug” dew laughs

[somereaderinblue]

Gotham's New Stray

Gotham Menagerie Menace AU: 1 | 2

-Lila swore off the ‘sausage tails’ hairstyle but by god she’s breaking that vow if only so she could use them to strangle Marinette.

-The past month has been an absolute shitshow circus.  Somehow, LB managed to defeat Hawkmoth who turned out to be Gabriel (jfc, just when she thought the asshat couldn’t sink lower) but *gasp* CN has betrayed her! Worse, Adrien is gone!

-So far, no one, not even LB herself, specified what ‘gone’ meant. Was he missing? Was he dead?? Nobody knows and it’s killing them.

-Poor Marinette is naturally heartbroken & worried sick and oh, it’s so romantic how she’s holding onto hope. Just look at the shrine she made for Adrien!

-(Lila will bet her entire Venetian Mask collection that she isn’t the only one who wants to burn the embodiment of a stalker’s delusions & entitlement to the ground.)

-Chloe was throwing money at PIs but with the Hawkmoth revelation, Andre wanted nothing to do with Gabriel, much less his son.

-Felix doesn’t believe he’s dead. Call it stubbornness, call it desperation, call it faith: Adrien was tenacious long before he got the miraculous with an animal said to have 9 lives.

-More importantly, Adrien would Cataclysm himself before betraying Paris (yes, he & the others know bcz secret IDs are bloody overrated).

-Lila, Chloe, Zoe, Nino, Nath, Marc, Felix & Luka are determined to get to the bottom of this but where do they start?

-Their first lead comes in the form of Nathalie.

-Nathalie, who tells them the instructions she gave Adrien; who also shows them the peacock & butterfly miraculous.

-When Adrien Cataclysmed his sperm donor (damn it, all of them would’ve paid to see that), Nooroo barely hid inside his miraculous in time to avoid damage. Luckily, his dormant state made it easier for Nathalie to snatch him & Duusu before LB could.

-Although very suspicious, they begrudgingly accept her help. An adult would make a better scapegoat cover anyway.

-While the others prepare to leave, Felix reaches out to his Gotham pen pal.

F: I’m coming to Gotham. D: And others say my humor is lackluster. F: I’m not kidding. D: And I’m not laughing. D: You’re also not the type to do something without reason. F: Damn right I’m not. I need your help.

-Before leaving, Nathalie tells them one last thing: she’ll hold onto the peacock (she’ll be damned if she lets another kid suffer for her mistakes), but someone has to wield the butterfly. It’s not combat-orientated but being able to empower someone in a place like Gotham? A boon they can’t waste.

Nathalie: Which one of you will accept this responsibility? Chloe: .....just to clarify, Hawkbitch was wearing that like, 24/7? Nathalie: Yes. Chloe: I love Adrien but ew, no, not it. Others: Not it! Nathaniel: Not- damn it! Lila: Twas fate.

-They could’ve sworn they saw Nathalie smile.

Meanwhile in Gotham.......

-Adrien was adapting.

-He’s found a decent building to stay in (Gotham was full of abandoned buildings), got a job at a hole-in-the-wall café & even better, the city was a fresh start for his alter ego!

-Rather than mope around, he’s more determined than ever to continue being a hero. His dad being a villain means he has more to atone for & Gotham may be a slaughterhouse but she never dictated who could play savior.

-He’s established a routine. Whenever he doesn’t have to work at the café/ run errands, he’s prowling around as Stray. He wanders around, helping wherever & whenever needed; saving a stray cat from cruel assholes with nothing better to do, stopping a mugger, befriending other kids who have it rough, he goes where there's trouble which happens to be everywhere.

-(Lots of crime means lots of work that requires lots of focus! Lots of focus means lots of time & less to be spent lingering on many repressed issues/traumas waiting to bite his ass.)

-He becomes a bit of an urban legend. Slowly but surely, he’s welcomed into the community. It’s imperfect & dirty but the slot he’s carving for himself fits him so much better than Paris’s ever did.

-Back home (...? Dare he call it that?), he’s trying his best to take care of all the kwamis. Each were unique & there was never a moment’s peace but Adrien loved them. These tiny gods gave him companionship & guidance despite what his father’s done to one of their kin. 

-They try to teach him everything Fu didn’t & he’s lenient with them. His territory has more paraphernalia for their interests than his. When Adrien’s gone, they use fractions of their powers to chase away any would-be-robbers, giving Adrien’s building the ‘haunted’ status.

-Whenever someone he saves offers compensation, Stray usually asks for some food to feed himself & the kwamis.

-(They probably don’t mind giving food bcz there’s the saying abt feeding strays. But hey, him hanging around means extra protection. It’s a fair price to pay.)

-One night, while feeding a bunch of strays, he gets a visitor.

-Catwoman (he's totally not fanboying, he is.)

-Stray is surprised & a bit scared bcz shit, what if he’s done something wrong? Was he trespassing? Was he unintentionally mistreating the strays?!?!

-Catwoman was simply curious. She heard rumors of a ‘Stray’ lingering around the Narrows. She half-expected the mini menace to be some hotshot punk in over his head but-

-She knows.

-She knows how to spot the signs of abuse with a certainty as familiar as it is painful. She’s seen them all: abused animals, abused women, abused children, abused partners.

-The kit covered it with puns, cockiness & charisma but he wasn’t fooling her.

-It wasn’t just the matching theme. They clicked & before he knew it, they were sitting together on rooftops every night to feed & pamper the strays. Some nights, they sat in companionable silence; others they gossiped & bantered each other into a friendly spar.

-Maybe it was the loneliness & lack of human companionship but Stray found himself looking forward to their nightly hang outs.

-Selina knew it wasn’t her place to take him in like Batman would've; but she tried to teach him some tips before the city’s cruelty could. The first time he appears with a cut on his cheek & a split lip, she doesn’t hesitate to treat his wounds.

-Stray wouldn’t call her a maternal figure (she's neither Emilie nor Nathalie), but he comes to view her as a reliable cool older sister/aunt figure. She was nothing like LB. They were parallel lines: heading in the same direction but never intersecting.

-He’s glad that he’s made a friend.

.

.

.

-But some nights, when he thinks the kwamis are asleep, all of them can hear him cry for the friends & lover he never got to bid goodbye to.

To be continued

[mskatesharma]

There are worse things to criticize but today I’m hung up on how we got 60+ minutes on a wedding that wasn’t even Kate’s. Like what? I honestly am whatever about the engagement going that far, but Edwina’s epiphany and the aborted wedding could’ve been done in 20 minutes. It didn’t need to take up a whole episode. So much back and forth and redundancy and filler.

Anon, the way that wedding episode fucking DRAGGED jfc. When I was watching it for the first time I kept checking how long was left because I felt like I was watching the same scene over and over again. It was so long, and for what? So Edwina could have countless speeches that made zero fucking sense? (Ngl, I haven't even rewatched that scene with the king, or with one the queen where they're surrounded by all the jewels, I just...I have zero patience and incentive to sit through them lol.) So that I could see the same thing being rehashed in the sideplots for the tenth time? So I could see Kate being made to feel like shit for the upteenth fucking time? Like, such a long episode and Mary disappears halfway fucking through and can't be bothered to go and check on her daughter who she told to go away? A daughter who stepped the fuck up while Mary was lost in her grief by the way??

(People give Violet so much shit for what she put Anthony through when Edmund died, and for some of the stuff she still says and does, but at least she 'came back' from her grief? The show wants us to believe that it isn't until shit hits the fan that Mary stops being so absent, (which I think is eight years since Mr Sharma died), and yet Kate doesn't get half as much grace as Anthony does for what she's had to do in the face of a parent lost to grief, and for a lot fucking longer too, and without the money and resources Anthony had at his disposal too. HOW DOES MARY NOT GO AND CHECK ON KATE?? AND NEITHER DOES LADY DANBURY??? Sorry not the point of this post but I'm pissed about it so whatever.)

Literally, this episode should have focused on the fallout of a broken engagement/wedding, instead of dragging out the 'will they or won't they actually get married'. Once Edwina figured it out, that should have been it; she should have told Anthony to fuck off, instead of making it seem like she might still marry him simply to spite her sister. Like they obviously wanted this to be 'Edwina's' episode, but so much of it is infuriating because the writing is so fucking awful that I find a lot of it too insufferable to watch. Like I fully maintian episode 6 > episode 2, but that is literally only because we see Kate and Anthony finally kiss, and we get to see Anthony lose his shit over Kate while stood at the alter with her sister. That's it.

Lbr, they only made it to the wedding because CVD and the writers wanted drama, even though it made no sense. And I will never be over just how bad the writing was for this episode, because despite Edwina being deserving of having her moment, they made it about things that made no fucking sense and it was annoyingly self righteous. How the fuck do you mess it up that badly??

[sarahjtv]

BNHA Chapter 302 Spoiler Thoughts: Y’all Need Therapy

Part 2 of the story that started last chapter and THINGS GOT WORSE!!!  I’m crying through the pain.  There’s a lot going on in this one.  Lots of guilt, lots of abuse, lots of crying, but thankfully some gleam of hope at the end.  A broken family can heal.  This is a step in the right direction.  Though, I’m already seeing the BNHA fandom going up in flames because everyone’s playing the blame game.  I hope I don’t end up accidentally stepping on that landmine after posting this.  Here we go (thoughts are based off summary translations by @redandblonde420 on Twitter and panel images are from @BKIS2327 on Twitter!):

(OP Note: Please don’t DM me with your complaints about my opinions on the Todoroki Family matter.  It’s bad enough that this storyline has people getting pissed off at each other for taking different sides.  The last thing the BNHA fandom needs is more conflict amongst ourselves.)

Chapter 302 picks up where we last left off.  Enji and Rei managed to stop Touya from attacking Shoto (it’s not explained how) and the whole family except from them are asleep.  Enji tells Rei that he doesn’t want any of the kids anywhere near Shoto anymore in fear that they would try to harm him.  Enji also fired a servant because he was so busy at work and he asks Rei to not let Touya out of her sight.  The other reason why Enji won’t watch over Touya himself is because Enji’s presence would only be a constant reminder of the hero world to Touya.  While Enji thinks he’s protecting Touya, Rei says he’s just running away.  A few things here:

1. I get not wanting Touya anywhere near baby Shoto since he did try to kill the tyke.  Touya was pretty much bent on his hatred for his little brother at that point that even seeing him stroked his dangerous jealousy.  But, I don’t know about Fuyumi and Natsuo.  Neither of them showed any hatred towards Shoto (and still haven’t as far as we know).  They’ve shown no signs of violence or anything that would imply wanting to hurt Shoto.  So, why keep them away too?

2. This is probably going to be the start of me getting shit on by the fandom, but I think Enji and Rei are both right.  We saw in the last chapter that Enji did legitimately care for Touya to the point where he tried to convince him to leave his ambitions of being a hero primarily so that he would stop hurting himself.  Just Endeavor being there is a reminder of the hero world.  Which would only provoke Touya more.  And Endeavor can’t just leave his job; he was the #2 after all.  At the same time, Enji is running away from the problem by not trying to talk to Touya more and helping him to control his flames at least.  He was trying to save Touya from himself, but he was also ignoring the real problem.

3. Side note (and because I just 💙 Shoto), the manga panels show baby Shoto sleeping on his little bed with a frosty snot bubble coming out of his nose 🥺!  Not only is it adorable, but it seems like Shoto had his quirk since he was very young. 

Time skip 5 years later!  This is back when Shoto was being dragged along by Enji while watching his siblings play ball WAY back in Shoto’s Origin chapter what a throwback, Horikoshi (Season 2 Ep. 10 in the anime; I think Chapter 39 in the manga)!  Fuyumi is 12 yrs old, Natsuo is 8 yrs old, and Touya is 13 yrs old.  So, that confirms that Touya is 1 year older than Fuyumi, Natsuo is 4 years younger than Fuyumi, and Shoto is 3 years younger than Natsuo since Shoto was 5 then.  God, they looked so cute back then!  I’m honestly amazed how freaking TALL Natsuo is at 8 YEARS OLD!  He’s taller than Fuyumi here and probably Touya.  Someone put this kid in the Haikyuu!! universe and teach him volleyball!  He’d be great, I know it!

We see a few panels of what is basically a remastered version of what we saw during Shoto’s Origin story.  Shoto really wanted to play ball with his siblings, but Enji wouldn’t let him 😭.  I know Natsuo and Shoto try to play ball in present day in the 5th(?) light novel.  Natsuo plays it properly, but Shoto accidentally smacks the shit out of it 🤣.  It’s a very bittersweet scene and I suggest you guys read the translations of it if you can find it.  *AHEM* Anyway while Shoto is looking at them with sadness, Touya is looking back at Shoto with malice in his eyes.  Touya clearly still hated Shoto...

Next, we see Touya trying to talk to Natsuo in bed.  While he admits that he was wrong for trying to attack Shoto, he thinks Enji is to blame as well.  Ok, Enji lit Touya’s figurative flame, but Enji did not attack Shoto.  That was all Touya’s doing.  Had he listened to his father and not been so driven to jealousy, he wouldn’t have attacked.  Enji did a lot of things, but he did not provoke that attack.  

Natsuo was too tired to listen to Touya talk, so he suggested that he talk to Fuyumi instead.  Touya thought that Natsuo was the only one who could understand and he didn’t talk to Fuyumi because “all the women in the family were no good”.  OKAY, I don’t know if this is straight up sexism  or something else, but goddamn Touya.  That is-, that’s not okay.  At all.  Respect women pls, my dude.  Hell, Fuyumi and Rei probably would’ve been a good people to talk to back then.  

One day, Touya is trying to leave the house probably to go train again.  Rei tries to convince him to play with his friends instead, but of course Touya refuses.  Because Rei feels shackled to her marriage, she wants Touya to look at a world outside of heroism so he can be someone he really wants to be.  This is basically what Enji told Touya before and Rei’s echoing his words.  And they are right, but Touya’s too driven to really think of anything else.

Touya gets mad and starts insulting Rei.  He says because his mother sold Rei to Enji, she’s conspiring to all of this.  Touya’s losing his mind and Rei’s scared of him.  I want to point out that one translation I read say that Rei’s mother’s side of the family was actually poor so Rei was actually bought via money like I remembered.  But, that doesn’t mean she intended to hurt Touya.  

Next panel reveals that Touya was born between Jan. 1st and April. 1st.  We know Dabi’s B-Day is on Jan. 18th based off his profile page.  Though, this could be a lie for all we know.  The guy’s still a big mystery.  Anyway, Touya’s fire is growing stronger and finally turns into that iconic blue fire.  When his emotions are heightened his flames get more powerful, but he starts crying too.  Enji learns of Touya’s secret training and gets mad at him again.  Touya just wants to prove that Enji was right for creating him.  Touya’s gone completely insane at this point.  The fire that Enji lit could not be put out.  It was too late at this point.

And the abuse... JFC...  Enji was mad at Rei for letting Touya train and he abuses her (looks like he hit her).  Little 5 yr old Shoto steps up and tries to stop his father from hurting his mother.  Fuyumi and Natsuo are hiding and crying, and Fuyumi is covering both their ears.  Rei reflects that she chose to be married to Enji and she truly thought she could have a family full of laughter.  Th-this just hurts.  No emoji can express how awful this situation is.  Enji looks like a monster in these panels (we still don’t know exactly when the abuse started, but I think it was either after Touya tried to kill Shoto or here when Rei failed to stop Touya from training).  Shoto’s crying and yelling at Enji to protect his mom.  His siblings too if you think about it.  Even back then, Shoto was a hero even when he really shouldn’t had been.

The present goes back and forth with the past here.  Touya waited for Enji to come see him train, but he never came.  Rei also ignored Touya even though she knew of his problems.  Touya was truly alone on that mountain.  And here’s where Rei’s blame comes in.  She was a good mother, I think.  But she did ignore Touya when he needed her most.  She kind of ran away too.  

Back to Dabi, he reminisces of how he faked his own “death” back on that mountain after Enji didn’t show up.  He didn’t know how to stop the fire because Enji only taught him to increase the fire.  Touya started a whole wildfire.  The whole place turned to ash.  Enji tried looking for his son, but was devastated when he couldn’t.  Gotta say, these panels are brutal.  Like, Tenko Shimura’s Origin chapters were dark, but this is a different kind of dark.  

Back to the present.  Enji says that after Touya “died” he didn’t know what to do other than to focus on Shoto (the panel shows a dark figure of Enji looming over a sad Shoto similar to that image of Overhaul looming over Eri because she wasn’t saved yet).  Rei got more disgusted just seeing Enji and she started seeing his shadow when she saw her kids, specifically Shoto and Natsuo (maybe because Natsuo is more built like Enji?).  Fuyumi and Natsuo blame themselves for not doing anything and thinking things were okay even though they knew what was going on.  Natsuo still blames Enji of course because Enji started this all.  And I can’t say that Natsuo’s wrong, but Enji doesn’t shoulder the whole blame.  And yeah, Fuyumi and Natsuo were still just kids when this happened, but a little extra push from them could’ve helped.  It’s just the “It’s my fault” game with the Todoroki’s except for Shoto.

Natsuo’s taking a big hit here.  He was closest to Touya and if Natsuo took more action to help Touya, Dabi probably wouldn’t have been born.  Touya could’ve even treated Shoto to some soba 😭.  That’s a nice thought, Natsu, but we all know what did happen in the end.

So, Rei concludes that everyone is shouldering some blame towards their family’s problems and that it isn’t completely Enji’s fault (this I agree with).  Even so, Rei says that his family would still help him get back up even if he fell.  Coming from Rei, the woman who was abused and put in a mental hospital, this is saying A LOT!  We saw some of this back in the Pro Heroes arc (Endeavor Vs. High End), but here it’s said out loud.  Even a family as broken as the Todorokis can still heal. 

Rei then calls Shoto the family hero as if it weren’t for him going to UA, making friends, and taking action to repair his family, then none of this would’ve happened.  There’s a page that shows present day injured Shoto at the center and that iconic “IT’S YOUR QUIRK, NOT HIS” scene from the Sports Fest. in the background.  TDDK or not, this is such a damn good throwback!  I love everything about it.  Again, Shoto’s the family hero, but Izuku’s the true hero in all this.  If he didn’t meddle with Shoto’s family problems, then Shoto and his family would still be a broken mess. Izuku might as well be an honorary Todoroki at this point 💙💚

Endeavor is still crying hard (the man’s literally shook) and Shoto finally speaks (his speech bubbles are shakey, so his voice might be raspier than usual).  Shoto talked with Rei about how he plans to face Dabi on his own.  Rei said “no”.  Shoto concludes that everyone’s going to help stop Dabi, including Enji.  The panel shows Shoto LITERALLY REACHING OUT to Enji!!!  His face shows that he’s still kind of reluctant, but this is a sign that Shoto’s is close to forgiveness.  He’s not there yet and he can turn back whenever he wants.  But, this is Shoto’s choice and I’m so freaking proud of him.  I love this ❄️🔥 boy so much, guys 💙😭!  

The final panel shows Haws and Best Jeanist outside of Enji’s hospital room and they heard pretty much everything.  Very similar to how Bakugo accidentally eavesdropped on Shoto and Izuku back in the Sports Fest haha!  Neither of them look mad or sad, but more contempt I think.  Massive problems in the Todoroki family that’s lasted over 20 years is finally being fixed.  Shoto rebuilding his relationship with his family was good, but THIS is a big step since it’s not just Shoto taking action.  It’s the whole family.

Wooo... I think that’s it.  Again, the Todoroki Family storyline is one of my favorites in the BNHA series.  Probably the most controversial and dividing, but still damn good.  I feel bad for everyone in this family.  Everyone but Shoto feels some kind of blame and ultimately they are at fault here to some degree.  The biggest ones are obviously Enji and Touya himself.  Rei’s also a big reason why things went wrong (she really could’ve helped Touya more), but not NEARLY as much as the big two.  Shoto’s the only one who isn’t at fault at all yet he’s still willing to step up to the plate to help his family.  Again, I love this kid so damn much 💙!  I’m sorry if I missed any details btw.  I might make edits to fix them when the official release comes out on Sunday.  

TL;DR Version of Last 2 BNHA Chapters:

[singingforthepromises]

fruits basket manga lb (ch 115-118)

CH 115

“The feeling... of being left behind.” Oh no. 

I actually agree with the maid - Ren IS despicable. She’s horrible. I do think I’m at the point where I dislike her more than Akito, honestly. I at least feel bad for Akito at certain points and it’s growing with each chapter. Ren? She can fuck off, honestly. 

“She’s worthless” about Isuzu. Lol shut up bitch 

“You’re the one who’s worthless, Ren-san” OH HO SHIGURE WENT THERE

Ren is such a hypocrite. In one breath, she criticizes Akito for holing onto ‘delusions’ when she’s sitting here doing the same shit with Akira. 

“She just didn’t want to stop being Akira-san’s ‘number one.’ She’s jealous.” FACTS

Wow she didn’t even hold baby Akito. :/ 

“The way she is now... whose fault.... is that?” I love that this is being brought up, and I’m gonna talk about it. Akito is a product of her environment, we know this. It’s not surprising that she turned out this way. It’s all she knew. She’s clinging to words that her father told her, to justify her actions and make sense of her existence. Otherwise, in Akito’s eyes, her mom was right about her - and that’s a horrible perspective to have. It’s understandable of course: that is what abused children think. Akito is as much a victim from abuse as any of the others. It’s like this entire series has been a game between Ren and Akito and seeing who the winner will end up being, and damn the collateral picked up along the way. 

The way Akito is now.... it’s mostly her own fault, but it’s ALSO Ren’s, Shigure’s, Kureno’s, the maids, the entire Sohma family’s. They all either directly caused this behavior or were content to let it continue. Or they simply chose not to try and get her help or direct her something more positive. I blame Kureno less than I do the others, because he was as much as a victim as everyone else, in his own way. Shigure I do hold responsible because even though he’s under the curse too, he knew Akito best, knew her entire situation, and is still comfortable talking to and fraternizing with Ren. 

At the end of the day though, Akito’s decisions are her own, and until she owns up to it and changes her ways, she’s the same as her mother. I feel much more for her now as opposed to when I first started the manga and anime, but she’s still got a ways to go for me. We’ll see by the end where I stand on her. 

One thing I know for sure: Ren is an irredeemable piece of shit. 

Okay, let me address this scene with Akira and Akito. I totally get where he’s coming from, being a loving father to his daughter that is treated like crap by her own mother. She deserves this warmth and care from her parents, even if from just one. But I feel like this approach, the way he explained her destiny to her, was part of the problem. One parent was overly loving and wanted to give the child everything and told her how important she was and the other was cruel and cold. Akira needed to let Akito know the meaning of the word “no.” Not to be harsh, or cruel to her, but to let her know that the Zodiacs are people too, and they can’t be sentenced to a life of imprisonment with her just because she is their God. That if she treats them right, they’ll be close and bonded, but allowed to live lives of their own. It doesn’t mean that she’s been abandoned, or that no one wants to be with her. Healthy relationships can exist from a distance, and that was not expressed by anyone in Akito’s life. It certainly explains her terror when thinking they’re all going to leave her, or she’s told that they’re going to. 

OH SHIT OH MSJFSFJS DID THAT JUST HAPPEN

MOMIJI’S CURSE

IT JUST BROKE

IM SOBBING MY BEAUTIFUL BOY IS FREE

CH 116

Momiji is walking past his mom’s house? I’m upset

Ohh boy here comes Akito

I do feel bad for her... it’s sad, because she’s brought all of this on herself, and to a degree, it’s karma. But at the same time, I can’t help but feel bad. 

Momiji realizing that Akito is weak and has no power over him anymore.... wow, we love to see it. 

omg are Haru and Yuki realizing it??? 

Tohru blushing at seeing Kyo!! 

Momiji watching her! ;A; 

“Well... you know, right?” AHHHHHHH HE SAID IT

Oh, Momiji did go talk to Akito again... 

“Akito, I can’t spend the rest of my life at your side.” YES MY BOY

Okay here she goes, slapping him. And she’s rubbing salt in the wound, lashing out because of her own pain... and Momiji is bigger than that, better than that. The fact that he’s admitting that nothing will go back to how it was, that breaking from the curse is just as much a curse as actually being under one... that’s truly sad. I hadn’t thought of the bond as a beautiful thing in a while, but I see the potential it could’ve had TO be. They were united by something that could’ve been beautiful. To an extent, in between all of the horror that came with it, it was. 

“I’m going to walk my own path.” I AM SO PROUD OF YOU

“How about you? How long are you going to stay HERE?” I love this question for many reasons, but mostly because it shows that Momiji still cares about Akito and wants her to be happy, too. 

I respect that Akito isn’t trying to stop him even further with more violence or more demeaning words. I don’t know if Momiji’s words are having an impact and she’s starting to realize what she’s caused, or if she’s internally about to have a meltdown and do something much worse, but for the moment, I like that she isn’t lashing out at him much more. 

CH 117

Oh, we’re paralleling mother relationships with Tohru and Akito, are we? They really are foils of one another. 

You’ll get another chance, Tohru!! 

Damn Ren is legit awful. 

“This thing?! It was just a toy to pass the time!” Oh, okay. Explains the “you’re just a toy for me to play with” from little Akito to Yuki. Was this the moment she snapped in the room and painted it black? Was this the precursor? And she repeated those awful words her mother said to her? 

“It meant that I could show off...in front of that woman.” Yep, called it. 

Holy shit she’s becoming aware... “I forced them to stay.” 

“I had faith that no one could split us apart.” So Tohru being involved was so Akito could show Ren that no one could interfere with her bond to the Zodiac. I hate saying that Ren was right, but... it’s true. And like the sad thing is, in this case, the bond SHOULD be severed, because it’s unhealthy for everyone involved, including Akito. But I relate to Akito here: I wouldn’t want my abuser to be proven ‘right’, either. 

Ren is insane

I do appreciate the maids being kind to little Akito. It’s just an unfortunate situation. All of the wrong words in the wrong kind of environment, not knowing how much to support someone without supporting them TOO much to the point of enablement... 

CH 118

Is Akito actually gonna kill Ren? I’m not opposed to that honestly. 

HIRO

HE’S HOLDING HIS BABY SISTER!!!

DID HIS CURSE BREAK?!

YESSSS

That’s two Zodiacs down! oh my god it’s actually HAPPENING.

“No one ever gave me a different way to live!” I mean, Akito is not wrong. She’s justifying her actions, but at the same time, she has a point. Everyone around her allowed this. Like I said: at the end of the day, she’s responsible for her own actions and she needs to own up to them and not shift the blame to everyone except herself. Hold everyone else just as responsible, yes: but admit your own faults. 

SHE JUST STABBED KURENO

JFC

Come on, Akito. You could’ve made a good decision right there, Kureno is willing to help you with the change. But unless you actively want to, nothing will happen. 

Is Kureno actually going to die??? omg. This was the quick moment from the trailer with the knife, right? Holy shit.

“So then what? It’s MY fault?” YES. YES, it IS! It’s your mother’s, and Kureno’s, and Shigure’s and the Sohma’s too - but it is YOUR fault with how you continue to treat people. 

“Where are they all going to go?” as she thinks of Tohru.

Oh god

oh fuck

Akito, I’m being more sympathetic to you, but if you hurt Tohru again, it’s OVER. 

Kyoru!!

“Kyo-kun... there’s something... I need to tell you.” OH MY GOD HERE WE GO HERE SJFJSFJSFJSJFSJFSF

[caligobeltrao]

I for one would love 2 hear ur thoughts on the hannibal novel 👀👀 - bloodybrahms ☺

ahhh thank you BB!! <3 I’m gonna throw it under a cut bc I know people aren’t gonna want my ramblings clogging up their dash lol. 

Edit after I’ve written it: Holy shit this turned into a monster but tbf I did say I was going to rant. I think I miss writing college essays...

Also, I would like to note bc I’m about to bitch, I do still love Hannibal and Clarice and all of the franchise. Hell, I even love book Hannibal because I’m garbage and want to be special. So yeah. It’s a fond bitching. 

Okay where to fuckin begin man... This novel was a fucking Shit Show, my dudes. It was like baby’s first fanfiction. 

Let’s just jump in, shall we? 

So by now, having read both Red Dragon and Silence of the Lambs, I know Harris injects of lot of sexual shit into his novels, fine whatever, but the amount of pedophilia is insane. Like, Red Dragon with the grandmother threatening to cut his dick off by holding it in between scissors????? And then we have Mason Verger, worst human on the planet. Like jfc I’ll go into him specifically more later but just. Men. Why does it always have to be sexual. 

Like that time Clarice wasn’t wearing a bra and she wanted to prove to Paul Krendler she wasn’t wearing a wire so she flashed him her tits?? Unnecessary, Harris. Bullshit on all counts. 

Next, poor Ardelia Mapp. So he clearly wrote out her accent in Silence, which frankly reads racist since to me it seemed like he did it every time a character of color was met but he didn’t for Clarice’s Southern accent except for this book when she was talking to Ardelia. Now, that’d be a cool way to show how close they are, sure, but it just... She didn’t show up enough to warrant that reaction from me, plus all the other casually racist shit he throws in. 

Ardelia’s literally there as the wise Black best friend to help Clarice along. She doesn’t feel like her own character, she’s only there in conjunction with her, or doing something for her. She was the fucking valedictorian for Christ fucking sake, she also works at the Bureau but if her department was mentioned it was only once in passing. She was not a full character which fucking blows because she could’ve been so cool. 

And real quick before I forget, I hate how she’s treated in the end. I do like she gets a reference and that brainwashed Clarice sent her an emerald ring and a note saying she was okay, but Ardelia was abandoned by her best friend (that she had lived with) with not even a phone call and they will never see each other again and I think Ardelia knows it. It sucks and I’m heartbroken for this woman. 

I’m gonna touch a little bit on the racism too. Now I’m white and not the most qualified to talk about this shit, but I do wanna mention it because it makes me mad. There’s just so many unnecessary slurs, any POC is more of a background helper character to Clarice than anything or a foil. 

For example, Evelda Drumgo. She starts us off. Badass Black woman who runs a drug cartel. She chooses to shoot at Clarice and risk her baby’s life, and we have Clarice wash the baby off and save his life. Then Evelda’s mother is written as irrational when she slaps Clarice for visiting the baby in the hospital; I get Clarice’s impulse, but that woman just lost her daughter because Clarice killed her. I would’ve slapped Clarice too, even if it was a totally justifiable shot. 

The baby himself is used as a foil throughout other parts, most notably to me when Clarice goes to visit Mason the first time. There are two Black boys from a foster home playing in a room with a camera so Mason can watch them, and it shakes Clarice up a lil bit because of the baby, but it says she’s getting more used to it.

Now this is half and half well written and shoddy to me. It’d be a cool moment, if the whole incident wasn’t nearly completely forgotten for the rest of the book shortly afterword. It could show growth, if Clarice had any growth to show. 

And then the Romani people who are literally just used and thrown away. Sickening. Also very broadly used the stereotypes we hear which Sucks; the three we meet in any sort of depth are pickpockets, one was already in jail and Pazzi used his leverage as a police officer to get her to do what he wanted and threatened to have her baby taken away from her permanently, like it was just bad. And then the man got killed. Pazzi let him bleed out. Asshole. 

The slurs. I could take out all of them and pretty much have the same damn thing. Like I get showing negative aspects of characters and just because a character’s racist doesn’t mean the author is, but with the characters already being as shitty as they are, fully didn’t need it to make them worse. Entirely unnecessary. Racism or the character being racist has no impact on the plot is the major thing, I think. And you can replace that with anything along those lines, like sexist, homophobic, transphobic. It didn’t impact the plot, they can still be shitty, you just don’t need to use them. 

This also goes in reference to Margot being a lesbian. And the transphobia holy shit, it was disgusting. Harris had Clarice think something so cruel and unnecessary it’s like my guy why was that even remotely something we needed to hear. We didn’t. I wanted to stop reading because that’s not my Clarice, first and foremost, and second, this is supposed to be the character we LIKE. And now I don’t like ANYBODY in this damn book. 

And he treats Margot like shit too, and Barney. 

Their friendship was beautiful and great and finally for once something nice was happening in Margot’s life and I was happy reading it, and then FOR SOME REASON Margot goes to shower in the same room as Barney after a workout, which makes no sense, and then Barney tries to force a kiss on her (and he was hard, Harris made that very clear) and she had been sexually assaulted by Mason her brother and ruin the whole damn thing and none of it would have changed any other piece of the novel if you removed it!!!!!!!!! Entirely unnecessary!!!!!! And Barney had the gall to say well I couldn’t help myself like none of that was realistic in the slightest, she never would have went in the same room to shower with him. 

Something you need to do is basically get some suspension of disbelief from your reader and maintain and stretch that as you go, right? Well mine was gone at that moment.

Also side note Margot is basically just there to show how shitty Mason is for the umpteenth time. Her whole thing is lesbian sexual assault victim.

Also heavily implied she was a lesbian because of the sexual assault. And we rarely see Judy, her girlfriend, so. Bad. Bad all around. 

Circling back around to Clarice and how disappointing she is in the books as compared to the movies. Well, Clarice is also a poorly written character. She’s 1000x better in the movie. Hell, she’s even better in this book than she was in Silence, but that’s not fucking hard. 

Pretty much all the characters are so flat they don’t even classify as two dimensional. 

Like sure, maybe we wanna say Clarice didn’t really solve much in the first book and was just handed everything because she was a trainee and that’s what Hannibal wanted. 

Like if you remember the John Mulaney sketch of Delta Airlines where he’s just going “Okay!” and running to the next place he’s told, that’s Clarice. 

Okay so why does she get goaded into all this shit now? She should know better. She should know how to handle herself better. Like she messes up basic fucking shit like clearing a room before untying Hannibal, which was stupid, she seems oblivious to some of the politics at work even though she’s been in the FBI for like 7 years now, she would at least have more fucking contacts than Brigham who died in the beginning and Jack Crawford who died at the end by rolling over in his bed to his dead wife’s side and Ardelia who would be near the same level as Clarice I guess but I still don’t know her damn department???? Like you fucking network. 

Plus after her final fall from grace with the FBI, we meet or are told of random side characters that go no where and do nothing just to say “hey look at my special little girl, everyone likes her and looks up to her!!” Why? Because she caught Buffalo Bill 7 years ago and then never got a promotion or even worked with the BAU? Again, it does not make sense. People may pity her? But a random girl in the lab wouldn’t be fangirling. Starling herself said her career had gone nowhere because of the politics and not sleeping with Paul. You need to show me why she’s likable in her actions not others words. 

We spend more time away from her than with her anyways but Jesus. 

AND HER IN THE ENDING. She was fucking BRAINWASHED????? Bull FUCKING SHIT. He completely ruined anything he even remotely might’ve had in this cluster fuck of a novel. 

Case in point, difference from the movie, Hannibal spends weeks (possibly? it’s left purposefully vague and I’m guessing that’s because Harris didn’t know the ins and outs and wanted his novel done) meticulously brainwashing Clarice, he had stolen her father’s bones and she’s so far gone at that point she doesn’t care, and the whole scene where Paul is getting his brain eaten? Yeah, she happily indulges and when he insults her, she asks Hannibal for more. Fuck you, Thomas Harris. 

And Hannibal’s a Gary Stu, fucking fight me. 

In the movie he either is or he’s tap dancing on that line, don’t get me wrong, but in the novels it’s insufferable because it doesn’t seem earned. The pigs didn’t attack him because they didn’t smell fear on him. No. He’s easily able to drug and brainwash Clarice and take her as his lover. No. Go away. He’s so smart and one step ahead and can manipulate anyone and everyone into doing what he wants and blah blah blah shut up! A character being perfect isn’t interesting even if he’s evil!! We all know he’s never truly in danger because of how Harris writes him and that’s boring!! 

And I personally have a pet peeve where the villain is described as a monster or unstoppable. That’s boring and I no longer care about your story. I know 9 times out of 10 your main character is going to find a bullshit way around the impossible and kill it. Or it’s just like a default personality and nothing else is added to it. And that’s Hannibal. 

I’m on Hannibal Rising now and, spoiler alert, he’s very bland as a character. (Also Harris switched some details in the novel which kinda annoys me like get your own canon right my man but whatever.) The plot itself is pretty fun? I guess? Like there’s action and stuff and I’m enjoying that. But it’s the same set up where Harris’s Gary Stu always wins, like he was 13 in the book when he killed the butcher. Let. Your. Characters. Lose. 

Also even more racist shit but what did I expect really. 

Anyways, I have no idea who I’m supposed to root for in the novel because all the characters are just kinda shitty. It really just boils down to Harris not showing any redeeming qualities or actions from any of his characters. I liked Margot for a while out of spite but she never really went anywhere and the way she killed Mason (btw she sodomized him with a cattle prod to get his semen bc side plot and then stuffed his Moray eel down his throat and somehow I still don’t think that’s the worst part of the novel) just. No thanks really. 

All the random little side plots were also pretty not great. How many time does Harris have to say Pazzi of the Pazzis? Like I fucking get what you’re going for, even if I hadn’t watched the movie I’d be like, “Oh this dude’s gonna get hung outta that window, dope,” the literal first time. Stop treating your readers like idiots. 

And then Margot’s side plot was that the will their father left said she needed a biological heir to inherit because he was pissed she’s gay and we needed the homophobia I guess, so Mason got everything, and she was helping him with the Hannibal shit because he’s pretty incapacitated duh, and in return he would give her his jizz so Judy could be artificially inseminated and they could have a child and get some of her inheritance. I don’t care. It was all very gross, and Mason kept saying shit like suck me off you’ve done it before, I won’t be able to feel it anyway, maybe Judy’ll suck me off you think she’d like that. It’s all gross. 

And I guess this is a good a time as any to finally start on Mason. So a great rule of writing to make everything work better and give your story more depth is to give everyone both positive and negative traits right, even and especially the bad guys? Like, rules can always be broken if you’re a good enough writer, but I believe I have established that Harris isn’t quite there yet, to put it nicer than I have. 

Mason is one bad trait after another. It’s like when Harris was bored of constantly writing about plain ole pedophilia, he threw a dart at a board of horrible things and landed on topics such as: pedophilia but make it incest, extreme sadism, sadism but against children now, and good old fashioned racism! Fucking Cordell was supposed to collect the children’s tears after Mason would make them cry and put them in martinis for him. Realism went out the goddamn door real fast with this novel y’all. Like a fucking Scooby Doo villain over here. 

And he loves talking about being a sadistic pedophile, he will literally not shut up about it to Clarice when she first gets there telling her about his trip to Africa and this portable guillotine he has and just. I get it was probably like trying to make her uncomfortable on purpose because he’s a Freak, but it went way too far if only because it was annoying, not even uncomfortable for me as a reader. I was bored real quick. Get to the shit I actually wanna know. 

And it sucks because of the weird, over-the-top way of how he died, I got zero satisfaction from his death. I couldn’t even be like, “Well at least Margot got her revenge,” because that’s not how she originally wanted to kill him!!! She wanted someone else to extract his semen for the insemination but couldn’t find anybody to do it for her, and then Hannibal, whilst tied up, said use a cattle prod and you won’t have to touch him and when you kill him you can blame it on me, and I’m pretty sure even if she hit his prostate right every time and he COULD cum from that alone in addition to how his body is Fucked Up now, it would’ve been a lengthy, gross, and re-traumatizing experience for her because all she wanted to do was avoid seeing and touching her brother’s private parts again, which I think is a totally fair and rational desire. 

So I have to live with the fact that she was desperate enough to not lose the house and business because of her homophobic father to go through her childhood trauma again. There’s no place in this book that has a somewhat positive conclusion. 

Even the very last bit where Barney has a girlfriend and a ton of cash from Margot, all he wants to do is see every Vermeer in the world right? Well, because Hannibal and Clarice are in Buenos Aires where one of them is on display, Barney gets spooked and has him and his girlfriend leave before he can see it and it ends that bit with he never got to see it ever so he didn’t even complete his dream!!! 

Also for good measure, Harris throws in that Hannibal and Clarice enjoy having sex regularly. For no reason. Just letting us know. 

I know this seemed like just a bitch fest, because it was, but I kinda sorta enjoyed it? It kept my attention at the very least. It’s really disappointing because like I said, I love the movies, all of them, and have since I was little. To see the original not stand up to that image in my mind is a little heartbreaking. Especially Clarice. She was a strong female role model to me, but turns out she’s... just kinda there. And her ending is that of her no longer being herself and getting that agency taken away from her. 

There is a reference to her waking up from a sleep, if she is asleep (that’s kind of how he worded it), that kinda let us draw our conclusions on whether she was just brainwashed into being good for him or if she was willingly going along with this and was in love with him I guess and it felt like a slap in the face. She turned from a hardworking, modest country girl working her way up to the FBI into a female Hannibal. Which on the surface sounds kinda cool because we love luxe serial killers, but that’s not what she wanted or who she was set up to be. And to insinuate that she would even remotely consider choosing that path for herself is at its best an insult to her and at its worst a complete erasure of her background, what little character Harris did set up. It also completely erases my own connections to her, as a girl from a small town myself who has bigger dreams than this and also... a good, strong set of morals. He just tossed that out the window. 

Obviously if you’re on this blog, you like slasher x reader shit, and this is a novel with a slasher x a person, right? So why am I so mad about it? Because the whole point of this blog and reader insert fanfiction in general is that you are taken as you are and loved wholly as yourself and that you are worthy of that love (in a fictional setting, not really loving people who are like this, which I think we understand but I want to clarify). She was not taken as she was. He is not in love with her, she is not in love with him. She was transformed into what he wanted out of her. He couldn’t get her to be Mischa, his first plan, so he made her like himself. And the fact that he was so easily able to do it makes me upset, and even more so is that it’s not written like it’s weird or wrong. It’s written like they’re in love and this is a good thing. 

He may have been going for the classic “everyone is capable of doing bad things” stuff we see a lot, but we got that from Margot already. And Barney, for stealing Lecter’s stuff and selling it. And Paul, and the entire FBI for turning on Clarice, and the kidnappers, and Pazzi, and random shitty side characters. And none of it was particularly well written or made some sort of strong statement. It just was. And that’s not a good enough basis for a novel. 

Anyways, if you made it this far holy shit you’re a saint and I love you, let’s be friends?? <3 Have a good day y’all, thank you BB for giving me permission to ramble. 

[verannaca]

so I saw Frozen 2 for the fourth time

i have so many questions.

there’s a relatively negative (and very long) review beneath the cut so pls read at your own risk. and, of course, spoilers.

I’ve seen Frozen 2 four times now and yikes. I’d kinda hoped it would get better with each viewing, but it’s somehow worse??? I really loved the first movie; it literally changed my life in an incredibly drastic way (don’t ask) but it had been very important to me over the past six years, and...I’m so disappointed.

My initial reaction was disappointment, and I should’ve stuck with it. Like, wtf was that? But some parts were also really well done? It left me so conflicted lol

PROS

Vuelie was a good way to open the film; I quite liked the nostalgia :’)

The intro scene in general was good; I liked seeing more of their parents, although idk what their father was thinking telling them such a tale before bed lmao seems like some shit my mother would do

All is Found is my favourite non-depressing song in the movie, and it opens it beautifully. ERW has a wonderful voice.

The animation really is beautiful; it looks so realistic. Specifically the clouds and the one scene of the waves crashing over the pine trees. It looked amazing!

The music is good but not great. FTFTIF is my favourite; it’s so catchy and cheery. I really liked TNRT, and SY is perfect, but these songs just weren’t as catchy as the ones in Frozen?? I’m thankful for AURORA tho, that was a lovely gift.

Bruni was absolutely adorable (even tho he was an obvious cash-grab for merch lol), 10/10 love Bruni. Bruni + Elsa = even better.

Anna looked absolutely breathtaking throughout the entire movie; the redesign they did animation-wise really works in her favour, and now she’s rocking those Emilia Clarke eyebrows which is a hell yes from me. Her final look gave me all the feels; I can’t say I’m a huge fan of the dress and hairstyle?? it seemed a bit too not Anna, but at the same time, it showed her growth and maturity and I’m very happy with that.

As dark as it was, the shipwreck scene was beautiful. It was handled beautifully; their reactions were devastating. There is a huge con here, but I’ll save that for later.

The ocean battle was really neat. The water looked so good, and Elsa looks good wet???

The whole scene in Ahtohallan was well done; I liked the memories. I wish Anna had been there; she deserved to see her history, too, and it wasn’t fair that Elsa got that spotlight once again.

Everything after Elsa freezing was absolutely breathtaking as well. Anna’s reactions, the song, the scenery-- it was tragically beautiful.

Kristoff had the two best lines in the ENTIRE movie: “I’m here. What do you need?” and “It’s okay. My love is not fragile.” It’s so rare to see a good, supportive relationship in tv/movies, be it heterosexual or homosexual, it doesn’t happen. It’s so rare. So this was a beautiful break from that; the faith he had in her was amazing. Thank u. the real mvp.

The scene with Anna as she accepts the fate of her future; as she takes in a breath and realises/accepts that her home is gone, and her blood family is gone. Everything about it was perfect. You could feel her emptiness. Poor baby needed a hug :(

I liked that Kristoff also hugged Elsa when she returned; it showed that they were friends, which is really important for Anna tbh

I think that’s it for pros??? Now for the cons.

CONS:

Gonna start this off simple: the plot was weak. This is unfortunately not an unpopular opinion; it made no sense. It was too convoluted to the point where nothing was explained.

The pacing was off, and it was ridiculously anti-climactic. The layout in general seemed a bit weird tbh I could definitely sit here and justify all of it, but I shouldn’t have to.

They gave us no reason to gaf about this voice that Elsa was hearing. How long had she been hearing it for? Why was she so drawn to it? Why didn’t she think she was just hearing things? Or maybe she did at one point and then realised she wasn’t crazy? 

There was almost no character development. Elsa was the same as she was in Frozen, but this time, it was just annoying. She never learned or grew. Anna was demoted to a clingy side-character even though she’s the protagonist; I have no words for how frustrating this was to watch. I miss the Kristanna bickering. I liked their dynamic overall; I understand their insecurities and lack of ability to communicate because of it, and I liked how non-toxic they were. Overall, they did love and trust each other; they believed in and supported each other, even though they had a falling out (again and again) and were separated for most of the film (again, wtf?) EA had no development together, and honestly, they were annoying asf as a duo. There was no communication and no understanding. I will say that Anna’s fear and frustration throughout the entire movie was absolutely 100% understandable and sensible; she’d already lost too much before, and wasn’t prepared to lose anything else. I just wish she’d been portrayed a bit differently??? And it would’ve been nice if Elsa had stopped for, like, two minutes to be like, “hey, are you okay, you seem clingy and worried” but instead she just kept running and didn’t gaf.

It was over dramatic for the sake of plot, when it didn’t have to be. Elsa didn’t have to continuously try and push Anna away “for her protection.” They absolutely could’ve done the vast majority of things together. Fuck, they could’ve gone to the dark sea together. Anna could’ve stayed on the beach while Elsa tackled the Nokk. Then when Anna saw that Elsa was perfectly capable of protecting herself, they could’ve parted ways then and done whatever it was they needed to do. Or, Elsa could’ve taken Anna to Ahtohallan?? They may have discovered there that Anna couldn’t enter, but then they’d be given the opportunity to communicate, and Anna would’ve at least been included, since this was her history, too.

If this is a movie about two sisters, why the ever loving fuck is it all about Elsa and her origins? What about Anna’s origins? They were her parents, too. Sure, we ask “why does Elsa have magic,” but why doesn’t Anna have magic? Why was Elsa the “gift”? Why is Anna’s superpower “love”?? And why is that “superpower” only valid when it’s in regards to Elsa? Why is Anna so strong, physically? Emotionally? Personally? Is it just her? Why isn’t she an element, too? What’s with this bridge bullshit? Why the fuckkkk is Elsa the “fifth spirit” when she’s ice and ice is literally just water? I have so many questions.

How the heck was Iduna Northuldra? Did she become “whiter” because she remained inside a castle for twenty years? Or was she always “white passing”? Or was she adopted into the forest? Who are her parents? Did anybody miss her when she ran off to the kingdom? Her scarf was from “one of [their] oldest families” and yet nobody seemed to know who she was? And what do you mean “oldest families”? Are there no remaining members of that family? Nobody who was missing her? Nobody who would’ve recognised her daughters who are literally carbon-copies of her????

The shipwreck scene and the following scene pissed me off soooo much in the theatre lol First, it really was beautiful how they did it, but the interactions felt out of character. Elsa brought up the memories of their parents’ demise without consoling Anna at all. Not only did she just do it without at least a warning, she then proceeded to leave her behind in her own fit. Which, okay, yes, to an extent that makes sense; she was over-ridden by guilt. But those were Anna’s parents too. Elsa was all she had, and Elsa left her behind. I just- AND THEN in this moment of severe grief and horror, as these terrible things were revealed, Anna was pushed away again to be left on her own to deal with things alone. She’d JUST sacrificed her own feelings for Elsa, and Elsa’s response was to shove her away. WHY. I just??? hello??? Like, Elsa does care about Anna, right? That’s canon? So why tf would they write her like this?? jfc

Every single new character was wasted potential. Mattias above all else was very interesting, and should’ve had at least ten minutes more screentime??? I liked the scene of him and Anna discussing whatever, but there should’ve been more. They both cared more about Arendelle than anyone; they were both sworn to protect. There could’ve been more of an on-screen relationship there. (and don’t fucking come at me with your gross-ass ships please, tyvm). Honeymaren and Ryder were there for ??? merchandise? A reason for Elsa to stay behind? Queer-baiting??? I don’t get it. They did,,, nothing. Yelena? Did nothing. Why do these name-characters do nothing?? What’s the point???

This was advertised as a “big adventure” but had hardly any adventure. Frohana was apart for most of the damn movie, the action scenes had little consequences, the “climax” was ??? what, Elsa freezing? Who cares?? It’s obvious she’s going to come back. The wave heading for Arendelle??? Yeah, that would’ve been a good climax if it actually did any damage. But no, I guess Elsa can teleport now? aight. and now she gets to play hero again even though she didn’t do shit

The plot(?) was very predictable, and didnt really have a twist. Old white guy kills innocent POC. Okay. That’s real life, yeah? It’s shit; it happens, but why was this whole movie based around that? Was it a political statement? We don’t really need more political movies these days??? People are aware, and things are shit as is; idk it just felt forced. But this is a v controversial subject so imma shut up lol

THERE ARE NO CONSEQUENCES. Unless you’re Anna. Then you suffer severely cuz,,, fuck her, right? The entire cave thing (as beautiful and needed as it was) could’ve been prevented entirely if Elsa had just fucking communicated. But instead, Anna had to suffer again in such a severe way. Her feelings DID have consequences; they effected her severely and even influenced wreckless behaviour. But then?? it’s all over. And suddenly, it doesn’t matter. Suddenly, who cares? Elsa returns and is (for some unforeseen reason) magically forgiven. This ISN’T HOW SISTERS ARE. If my sister pulled half the shit Elsa did, the first thing she’d be greeted with is a slap across the face and a very loud “fuck you.” THEN she’d get a hug and some tears. You don’t fuck with people’s emotions like that. And the fact that there were no serious consequences is infuriating.

Anna becomes Queen without context. Did she want to be queen? Did she suggest it? Did Elsa decided “eh fuck it i’m bored, your turn” and just dump it on her? Anna is a free-spirit. Yes, she was absolutely devoted to her kingdom; her people always came first; she was an incredibly loving and selfless princess, but was she truly prepared to give up that freedom to be Queen? I think she fits the role beautifully; she was absolutely born to rule. But is she happy? Or is she yet again cleaning up Elsa’s mess, since that seems to be all she does?

Why did Elsa stay in the forest? Is it because she felt like she belonged with the spirits? With the people? Away from civilisation? All of the above? None of the above? And how did that conversation go with Anna? How did she explain; “hey, I know I died and fucked you up and promised that we’d always stay together, but I’ve decided I’m gonna leave you behind again and stay here with these people I barely know.” Did Anna object, or did she see the positives of being away from someone so toxic???? It makes no senseeeee, they were so good together in the first movie; it all feels so out of character. Both of them feel out of character.

There were few (very few) moments in which they really were like themselves:

The charades scene.

“You think I’m c R A Z Y?”

Head tilts with Bruni.

Anna laughing at Elsa’s braid-stache.

Elsa making toys for children.

The pleasant Kristanna scenes at the beginning.

Anna’s anger scenes.

Even Elsa’s personal drama???

but that’s it? I’ve seen it four times in theatre, and a few times online (though mostly in pieces) so I don’t think I missed anything. Perhaps I’m blinded by the frustration that this film caused. Overall:

The plot was weak.

The animation was beautiful.

Kristanna wasn’t the Kristanna we truly know?

Elsa was dramatic and annoying because she had no development.

Anna was demoted to a clingy side-character and was given a half-assed purpose.

The music was meh.

There was too much and yet somehow not enough.

It was a mess.

Six years. SIX. I-

ugh.

final note: PLEASE ANSWER MY QUESTIONS IF I MISSED SOMETHING. I think it’s also important to note that if you went to the theatre for 2 hours of entertainment, that’s great, but not the same as those of us that have dedicated six years of our lives to these characters? So please don’t come @ me if you were just a movie-goer. I also wanna say that there were a lot of parts of this movie that I loved and will hold onto, but overall, the movie as a whole was meh. I LOVED Anna & Elsa in Frozen; they had good development and had reasons for being how they were. They had a good dynamtic and worked well together. I hated their relationship in F2; it was toxic and forced in many ways; they didn’t interact nearly enough, and when they did, they were bitching for the sake of plot, which was very frustrating.

This isn’t a hate post so please don’t come at me lol my opinion is entirely irrelevent in the grand scheme of things, but hey, we’re here to chat and share, right?

sigh.

[ain-t-bovvered]

14x12 Commentary (europe edition)

Special episode where a bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

Hello and welcome:

@purpleskiesandcherrypies  (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon  (Kat)

@waywardbaby  (Zeta)

@ain-t-bovvered  (Giul)

1 2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11

Giu: Oh donatello

Zeta : What a flashback

Nat: ugh... so sick of nick already

Giul: Whatever it takes oh yes cas is gonna do something stupid ?

Nat: "Not even an Archangel"

Giul: Dean doesn’t joke too in terms of stupid decisions.

Nat: Stop it Dean

Zeta : My heart will go on, I’m sorry

Giul: Well that’s creepy

Nat: NO

Zeta: Ohhh fuck

Giul: I’m crying

Nat: Baby NOOO NOOOO Fuck

Zeta : Test drive

Kat :  the hand porn though

Giul: That’s fucking terrifying

Zeta : True

Giu: Dean’s face will hunt me forever now. Jensen JFC .

Zeta : Fuck

Nat: Shit

Giu: Dont

Kat : I cried during this

Giu: I am crying

Giu: Hell’s flashbacks tho

I’m hating myself now.

[Dean pounding on the metal ]  : No. No!. Sam SAM!

-Up I’m having serious parallels with when he woke up in the coffin after hell.But this time he can’t get out. NICE

- Look at his hands trembling. CAN YALL NOT

[Cell’s lights goes off] the box is dark now. 

NO I HATE THIS ALREADY.

-Oh thank god. 

Zeta : Sam is naked

Kat : They both are

Giu: OH FUCK

Nat: Shit

- D:” Just a bad dream, it’s fine. I’m ok”

Zeta : Never said I wasn’t scared

Giu: fucking hell

- D: "Never said I wasn't scared.But it doesn’t matter”

Nat: Fuck you

- S:” But what you are talking about is far worse than death. Michael is an archangel, he could literally keep you buried in a coffin, alive, forever.

Giu: Told ya

Kat : Hate this

Giu: That Henley. I love how it rest on Jensen’s hips. distracting.

Kat : Single layer porn!

Nat: I'm not ok .Do I have to keep watching? Ugh

Kat : YES

Giu: the fuck is happening

Zeta : What now?

Giu: They really want to play with this water and drowning bullshit

- Also this episode is already aesthetically pleasing . and that I appreciate .

Kat: They play with so many parallels this week

Kat : It’s like a Criminal Minds episode

Giul: I’m so loving this

Nat: who is he

Giul: Fucker of the week

Kat : UGH NICK GO AWAY

Zeta: Busy bee

Nat: None of that was my fault

Giul: He’s a serial killer so go off i guess

Giul: Yeah well the devil left the rest is all you bitch

Kat : I like the cop lol

- Nick is so empty right now. He’s the most dangerous human honestly.

Giul: Goddammit mark. 

Nat: The TALK

- D:”You’re gonna see it through to the end”

Giul: Shut up

Zeta : Mom hates this

Giul: WE HATE THIS

Zeta: Yeah right

- S:” And Cas and Jack, you haven’t even told them”

- D:” Well that’s because I’m not good with the whole big goodbyes, all right? I don’t need to get shaky on this”

Giul: and HE DIDN T TOLD THEM . HOW DARE

Nat: Can I smack Dean over the head?

Nat: Am I allowed to?

Kat: ITS DEAN OF COURSE HE DIDN’T

-D:” Just put the end of this trip out of your head, okay?”

Giul: MY BABE

- C:” Where you able to talk him out of it?”

 S:”No so I’m counting on you”

Giul: LOL SAM TOLD HIM

Nat: Awwww Cas knows tho

Giul: good sam

- He asked Rowena’s help too AAAAAH

Nat: of course he would

Giul: WE KNEW

Zeta: Remarkable command of profanity

Nat: LOL Cas about Rowena

Giul: “ Maybe if I spoke with Dean"BAAAABE

- S:”If we don’t find some way...Dean’s gone”

You have to step on my dead cold body first tho

Nat: Dean washed his hands tho 

Nat: at least

Kat : He’s a clean freak

Giul: Well remember how he barely touches the public phone booths?

-tHIS EPISODE IS BEAUTIFUL

Kat: This dude is so whacked out

Giul: This is a criminal minds ep. WHEELS UP, where is Rossi when we need him?

Nat: I'm sick of this dude already

Giul: Finally some gore

Kat: BABY

- D:” Do ever think about when we were kids? I know I wasn’t the greatest brother to you”

Giul: DUDE DON’T 

Zeta: Regrets

- S:” Dean , you were the one who was always there for me. The only one. You practically raised me”

Giul: U MY DA

Kat: DUDE IMMA CRY AGAIN

Nat: Sammy, stop

Giul: FUCK

Nat: SAMMEEHHHH STOP

Nat: SHIT STOP IT GUYS

Giul: oh this is for the 300 mood

Kat:  I think so too

- D:” Things got dicey. You know with Dad, the way he was. I didn’t always look out for you the way I should’ve”

- lol Sam doesn’t want to hear this shit

- D:” I mean, I had my own stuff, you know. In order to keep peace I probably looked like I took his side quite a bit. Sometimes when I was away, you know it wasn't because I just ran out, right? Dad would , he would send me away when I really pissed him off. I think you knew that”

Nat:  I fucking cry

Kat: JOHN YOU FUCKER

- S: “ Man, I left that behind a long time ago, I had to-”

- Look you can pin point the exact moment the eyes starts to get watery...damn it Jared.

- S:” And if we are gonna get through this, I have to do , like you said and try and keep my mind off of where we’re going. So if we could not have conversations that sound like deadbeat apologies, I would really appreciate it”

Giul: YES. THANK YOU SAM.

Zeta: Yeah ok  I’m hating this

Nat: Fuck, I'm not ok. 

Nat: I like the cop

Giul: BITCH DONT

Kat : Told you Ain’t God he’s praying to

Nat: DIGNITY hahahhaha

Zeta: Yep

Nat: FUck

Giul: WELL THAT’s

Zeta: That was so predictable

Nat: Nick's a fucking lsdhfishgoiewahgpieshgäahgeisladhflidshglidsea

Kat : Can he die already? I shouldn't smash my work computers keyboard that hard, probably

Giul: Hey gotta hand it to the guy tho, he’s pretty resourceful

- Sam finding a case. I’m not even surprised.

Zeta: The Winchester boys

Nat: ONE LAST CASE FOR THE WINCHESTER BOYS fuck you

- S:” You had to go there”

Kat: Damn it

Zeta: Enochian

Zeta: FBI

Giul: YAS

Nat: I'd open up that door so fast tho

Nat: and get on my knees

Kat: Control yourself woman

Nat: You know who you're talking to, right?

( that sentence is knitted in the back of our watch biker gang jackets)

Kat : THE COATS

Giul: FBI FBI FBI FBI

Giul: dean sitting so cutely

Zeta: I’m sorry.Has anybody noticed how huge their feet are?? 

Giul: licking lips

Nat: Dean's such a smol bean next to Sam.

Kat: Dean looks so tiny.GET OUT OF MY HEAD

- This all conversation with the twin is a real guilty trip for Dean. 

- Also this confirms that Dean and Sam knows some enochian. And that’s sexy.

Talk enochian to me * trumpet sounds*

Giul: CASTIEL MY BABE

Zeta: Angel on call

Nat: Awww Cas smiles

- C:” Dean” “ [BIG FUCKING SMILE] “Is so good to hear from you”

Giul: WOW he’s so- GODDAMMIT

- [stammering] : ok...well ..good. Ah [clear throat] listen , Cass....

- C:” You are working a case? That Is So GoOd tO hEaR. So I assume that means you’re not going to go through with it. Because I have to say, Dean , this plans of yours, it was born of, of desperation , not reason”

Kat: BUSTED

Giul: WE KNOW

- C:” I-I know that I’m not supposed to know , what I know,  but”

- D:”  "Look I'm fine with my plan"

Nat: LIAAAR

-C:” NEED TO HAVE A CONVERSATION”

Zeta: It’s good to hear your voice

Giul: MARRIED

Zeta: I love you

- D:” Really?”  S: “ Dean, it’s your husband  Cass I had to tell him”

Giul: lol can we remember that Cas fucked up Donatello for them?

Nat: How he leans against Baby tho I caught myself staring at his crotch. oops

Zeta: Well....

Giul: Aaaaand flannel again

Giul: Shocking

Nat: SURPRISE It's funnier in Enochian I guess

- ALSO hell yeah for Dean being the smarty pants ! I live for these moments. We all know Sam is the main  brain , but seeing the writers giving us these brilliant Dean moments is life.

Giul: He cray. This is so creepy amazing. Finally some spn old style

Kat: I know, they finally have a proper almost scary ep again

Nat: Yes. I still remember how creepy sometimes Season 1 was. oh they're here to save the day

Zeta: The Winchester boys

Giul: MOOSE IS ANGRY . SQUIRREL TOO

Zeta: Bamf much?! The hiss

Nat: Dean, control your anger!

Giul: H. O. T

- Poor guy tho, it’s not his fault .

Kat: Love snarly boys!

Giul: WELL FUCK

Zeta: Baby’s ass! I’m sorry again

Giul:  We end the ninja turtle

Giul: UUUUUUGH

Kat: Ugh this bitch again

-Vintage Nick

Nat: I wanna skip Nick. Can I skip Nick?

Giul: NO Mark acting is gold

Kat I hate this whole scene

Nat: He's too good and I hate him

Giul: Wait Why is No NO , fuck no. WHAT

- The fucking ice .... 

- N: “Lucifer....?”

 Sarah : 

Kat: ITS DUMB AF

Kat: I HATE THIS SCENE

Nat: SPN makes me question so many things

Giu: FUCK MARK OK

Nat: TELL HIM. I LIKE HER

Zeta: She kinda hates him

Kat: BUT SHE DOESN’T DO ANYTHING.SHE SHOULD BE THROWING HIM AGAINST WALLS AND SHIT

Giul: Let her leave bro

Nat: NICK LISTEN TO YOUR DAMN DEAD WIFE

- N: “ I can’t”

Kat: Nope he’s gonna be a little bitch

Giul: Oh I’m sorry he’s like a Stockholm victim.

Nat: "I'm sorry." Is he really tho?

- N:”Wherever is darkest”

Kat: Melodramatic much Nick?

Nat: DR CAS

- DR NOVAK

Zeta: Oh hello

Giul: THE OTHER Mr Winchester.  

Giul: OOH OOH HOT

Nat: Dean's smirking

Giu: DOCTOR

Zeta: Giuls, u ok??

Giul: I . AM.  NOT.  EARSKYHGZLYCBTSGKBP FUCK ME

- Doctor: follow me.

 Sam scrambling the fuck away from the sexual tension

Dean eyes on Cass [starts the sexual tension]

me [bathing in sexual tension]

Nat: THE HAIR ON CAS THO

- C:” It was necessary, doesn’t mean I don’t regret it. Doesn’t mean I don’t wish there could've been another way”

- C: 

- “Please don’t compare this with your suicidal plan. Just stop it”

[ tilting head in angry ]

Zeta: Tell him Cas

- D:” Why don’t we talk about that later”

Nat: "according to your plan, there won't be a later." I love Cas

Giul: YES

Kat: THE SASS

Giul: CAS BABE

- D:” You think this is easy on me?”

-Why does it always look like Cas is on the verge of tears and they never fucking show us the real deal 

- C:” So then, this is goodbye?”

Zeta:He’s hurting

- ThE FuCK Is tHaT LoOk DeAN

Nat: "Guys.. stop bickering." Is what Sam should have said. lol

lol and Cas holding Dean’s gaze a bit before focusing on Sam. Good moment

- D:” I thought he was too far gone”

 C: “Dean if there is a spark of hope. then I have to try “

- Damn these writers are not being subtle.

-C: “ YOU taught me that”

Giul: GUYS I CAN T

Zeta: *pats your back *

Nat&Kat:"Get out."

Giul: when castiel get so riled up I get all tingly.YES ORDER ME AROUND

Zeta: @Giul control yourself woman

Giu: PSH HAVE U SEEN THIS...[gestures vaguely] HOW

- Sam not being subtle too

Nat: Sam's throwing shades

Kat: THE DIMPLES OF DISCONTENT

-I will never get tired of Cas glowly hand

Giul: ANGEL EYES YAAAASP

Kat: Okay dude would be choking on that tube

Giul: CAN I WAKE UP LIKE THAT TOO

Nat: I wanna wake up being surrounded by three hot boys

Giul: [clicks tongue]

Kat: With three handsome men? Yes please

- yeah ok you can’t fucking say that and look up  at Castiel, Dean..you motherfucker 

- C:” Would do like more grape jello?” [voice deepest than Dean’s closet]

Giul: WHAT WAS THAT VOICE CAS i felt it in my [censored] 

Kat: Donatello and his chicken

- Those two whispering like that .... fuck you

Nat: THE dimples

- Castiel’s little awkward smile 

- This episode is so beautifully shot I can’t

Kat: I need a gif of them legs @Giulia please ma’am

Giul&Zeta: NO REST FOR THE SELF DESTRUCTIVE.

- D: “We are going out on a high”

i wanna slap him....hard

- D: “ Sorry”

 S: “sOrRY “ *chuckles*

- Sam is not drinking beer, he’s drinking hot salty tea.

Nat: Sam's really at it, huh? Trying to guilt trip Dean out of it

Giul: i don’t blame him

Nat: Can't be mad at him, tho

- S:” I have to throw away everything we stand for” aaaaand the voice cracks....good....great...

Zeta: He’s soooooo angry

Kat: Sam’s hair is so fluffy

Nat: LISTEN TO SAMMY DEAN

-S.” You just don’t check out of it “ * snarls and pushed Dean*

Dean is offended of the push.

Bitch you don’t get to be offended

- S: “ if you quit us today, there won’t be a tomorrow. What are you doing now it’s wrong,it’s QUITTING”

Giul: SAM MAD DESPERATE VOICE IS GOOD

Nat: I believe in us, Dean

-Dean doesn’t respond.

- Sam:

- Sam is all of us

Zeta: Smack him

-[Enters desperate hug]

Nat: fuck, now i'm crying

Giul: sobs

Nat: fuck no shit

Giul: OH COME ON

Kat: THIS HUG

- [strained voice] S: “why don’t you believe in us too?”

Giul: It’s too early for this.

-Sam looks like a kid here , a scared sad kid and I CAN’T DEAL WITH IT 

Kat: SAM HOLDS ON SO TIGHT

- D:”Okay Sam”

 Sam sniffs

 D: “Let’s go home”

Nat: I need a cigarette and lots of wine

Giul: MOOD

Zeta: This fucking hurts so bad

Nat: Why you gotta make me cry tho

Giul: GOOD LORD. Stop the voice breaking

- D:” And I’ll keep believing until I can’t”

Kat: MY BOYS 😭😭😭😭

Nat: NO

Giul: JARED WTF

- D:” you’ll have to take it for what it is....the end”

Nat: SAM WON'T DO IT

Giul: STOP IT

-D:” and you have to promise me “ [Dean’s voice get high] “ that you’ll do then what you can’t do now. and that’s let me go”

Giul: HE FUCKING WON T

Nat: FUCK YOU ALL

Kat: JARED STOP YOUR FACE

Nat: FUCK YOU

Giul: JARED FUCK U

Kat: ALL OF YOU STOP YOUR FACES

Giul: FUCK IT FUCK ALL OF U

Nat: I'M DONE FUCK THIS SHIT

-D:” Just don’t hit me again”

- STOP THIS FUCKING MUSIC RIGHT FUCKING NOW

Zeta: i HATE ALL OF THIS

Nat: I DON'T WANNA WATCH ANYMORE, NO MORE SPN FOR ME

Zeta: I HAAAAAAATE IT!!!!!

Giul: AND WE HAVE ALL SEASON 15 too

Nat: FUCK THIS

Giul: YAAAASP GUYS

Kat : NO YOU HAVE TO WATCH NEXT WEEK

Giul: PROMO NOW

Zeta: Yeet

Kat: PREVIEW

Giul: GO WATCH THE PROMO BITCH

Kat : GO I CAN’T FREAKING WAIT

Giul: i LOVE IT 

.

Well well WHAT A FUCKING RIDE.

WE HATED IT.

.

.

If you want to get tagged in the future ones send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

TAGS: @supernatural-teamfreewillpage  @destiel-honeypie   @mariekoukie6661   @dragontamerm    @closetspngirl @rainflowermoon  @mattiecat    @bunnybaby121115 @aliaitee2 @jacks-word-of-the-day  @4evamc   @dammitsammy  @legendary-destiel @winchesterprincessbride @destielhoneybee @castiellover20

[zalrb]

What, in your opinion, was the worst tvd season and why?

Season 8 because nothing made sense and it was BORING. From previous posts and highlights from all of my reviews of the eighth season: 

I would say that in the season finale a lot of things didn’t make sense. Why was Elena in a big white bed in the middle of the woods? Where is this place, why are they there? How did Enzo know to find Bonnie there and how did he bring her back to life? Is Enzo God? Stefan didn’t know Bonnie would be able to wake Elena up but he still gave Damon the cure in the off-chance that she would? Katherine pretended to be Elena, she wore Elena’s dress in the casket but had the time to dress Elena in her own clothes and put her in the school? And her hair was straight and suddenly it just became perfectly curly again? Stefan was shot and stabbed, he bled everywhere in those instances but he managed to not age rapidly but because he took a syringe of blood and gave it to Damon suddenly Damon has the cure and Stefan would start aging? Really? He could’ve called Caroline or saw Caroline, there is actually no reason why Stefan could see Elena, it’s not a logical part of the episode in terms of plot or lore, it doesn’t make sense, except that Elena had to be the last person he saw before he died. 

8x01

22. Writers, it’s too fucking late for the whole “surrounded by death, Stefan That’s what we’ve been for a hundred and some years.” nonono, you didn’t stick to that vampire lore throughout the seasons, it makes no sense to reinstate it now. In True Blood, from season 1 to season 7, it’s iterated and reiterated that vampires are death and whoever wants to sleep with them or be around them wants to die because they’re surrounding themselves with death. That isn’t a theme in TVD.

23. Nope, you can’t do hell all over again and try to back it up by going “not stone hell but real hell!” nah, y’all were lazy and just did the same shit again.

26. Stefan and Bonnie coming face to face with Damon and Enzo should’ve probably been more impactful? Like I don’t know, I don’t get the sense of complete and utter hopelessness. DO some fight club shit:

Make them gaunt and pale and red-eyed, like if they’re drones or slaves then make them as such. Because Damon is just acting like Damon, the only reason why we know he’s doing these things against his will is because of the over-exposition in the dialogue, there is actually nothing to indicate that Damon is doing this against his will other than the repetition in the words.

33. How hard are they going to hammer this shit in our heads? Damon doesn’t believe in redemption AGAIN, Damon thinks he and Elena are on different paths AGAIN only so SURPRISE he’ll be proved wrong by Elena near the end! Been there, done that.

8x03: 

6. I love how it’s become such a big deal that Sybil has mind control. “We’re dealing with something that has the power of mind control” SCARY MUSIC. Right because vampires compelling people was just ….

15. Damon describing Sybil’s hold over him is literally describing compulsion.

17. So Sybil is Rebekah and the Salvatore Mansion is the library and instead of Elena, Caroline and Stefan talking about SE and DE it’s Caroline and Bonnie talking about Damon and Enzo.

18. OK so Sybil is also Klaus who has to “Siren” obedience like how Klaus had to Sire hybrids.

19. OK so Sybil is Klaus again making Bonnie choose between Enzo and Damon like Klaus going, “So Elena, Jenna or Stefan?” Or she’s No Humanity Caroline who essentially did the same thing with Matt and Tyler. ‘Bout the most sadistic game imaginable, writers you’ve recycled this at least three times.

32. “Bonnie, I’m going to count down from 10 and then I’m going to let Damon finish what he started.” Like the clock Klaus put on Stefan biting Elena? LOL OK TVD. 

8x03:

28. So basically when Sybil got Damon’s full devotion is exactly like when Damon and Elena thought Stefan betrayed them for Klaus and the scene between Caroline and Stefan when Stefan is all “Damon is gone” “Don’t give up hope” is Stefan and Damon “Stefan is gone!” “Then we’ll let him go.” We’re redoing season 3 just terribly.

8x04

35. So a black man is the devil. EXCELLENT, TVD. JFC.

36. Also their version of the devil makes absolutely no sense. Why is Cade in hell in the first place when he literally did nothing wrong? Did he create hell for the souls that he keeps and why is he collecting souls in the first place? And they keep mentioning God, as in the Christian God, so how are you going to have a Christian God but not a Christian Hell? WHAT?

44. So Georgie goes to hell because she killed a girl in a car accident. OK so like I don’t get it does that mean Julian is in hell too? What about Mary-Louise and Nora? Are they in hell? WHO goes to this hell? Does just everyone who does a bad thing go to this hell?

8x05: 

9. You know why banging a tuning fork doesn’t come across as torture? Because it’s a weak fucking form of torture. At least have Sybil’s ears bleed, have her crying with pain, have her clutching her head, screaming STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT. Like OMG.

10. And of course Bonnie isn’t at Tyler’s funeral but so is no one else. It’s true that the Lockwoods are dead but they’re a founding family, you mean this town won’t mourn the loss of the last living member of such a family when the town is supposed to be big on tradition?

11. This episode is ridiculous. I won’t believe that Stefan wouldn’t be fast enough to stake Damon in the leg or to push him off Matt, Stefan vamp-sped and pushed Damon off Bonnie in season 1, he pushed Katherine off Jeremy in season 2. After being the only human in MF for how long, Matt should’ve picked up a few tricks on how to take down a vampire. Caroline is also a vampire with a history of beating the shit out of Damon, you mean two vampires can’t contain one? Whatever.

15. “It was awful, like Damon is desperate for us all to hate him.” But you just can’t right? For absolutely no fucking reason. I’m actually getting severely tired of Damon killing everyone, abusing everyone, making everyone’s lives worse and the show constantly protecting him with lines that distance him from taking any responsibility. It’s OK that Damon killed Tyler because he wants you all to hate him? Are you fucking serious?

20. REDEMPTIVE RIGHT NOW. Hammering it into our heads that he didn’t want to kill Tyler but he did it for Sybil, he doesn’t like that his friends hate him but he made them hate him anyway for Sybil (although legit no one looks like they hate him) and I’m fucking OVER it. Damon kills but his heart isn’t in it, so the fuck what, why the fuck do I care about that? Doesn’t MEAN anything.

21. Dude, I thought that Sybil inserted herself in Damon’s happy Elena place and then I thought she made Elena die so it was like Damon never met her. What was the point of Sybil inserting herself in Damon’s Elena Happy Place if he just does things to make her happy but doesn’t put his heart in it, he was doing that anyway before.

8x06

5. So we get to see mediocre SC sex in 8x01 but we don’t get to see mediocre BE sex in 8x06? Oh true. I see you, Julie and co.

9. WHO eats bacon that way? Seriously, who the fuck eats bacon that way? That’s not sexy, it’s weird.

13.  This writing is ridiculous. You and Sybil aren’t Cade’s missionaries, Seline, you aren’t converting people to your ways or “spreading the word”, you’re eating their flesh and giving the souls to Cade, you’re his butchers.

27. “Two of history’s most prolific killers.” LOL WHAT? People have committed GENOCIDES, TVD.

30. “I raised them” they’re THREE. And on the real, it didn’t look like or feel like you were dying when the twins were gone, Caroline.

33. “I gave Damon what he promised me an eternity of misery” HOW THO? Damon’s BEEN spending his immortal life killing people, like how is it any different that he and Stefan are doing it for a purpose now? Jfc. Also legit, guys, y’all are immortal, vampires, you’re never going to hell, the paranoia surrounding this place is ridiculous especially since they have both died as vampires and haven’t gone to Cade’s hell dimension each time.

35. Lmao why is this ending with Alaric killing Damon as if Damon is actually dead? We know he isn’t! Stefan just told us they’ll live forever serving Cade and we already know he and Sybil crash Steroline’s Christmas. LIKE? THIS ISN’T SHOCKING.

8x07:

13. “If Elena was here Damon wouldn’t be doing any of this?” Are we forgetting that he systematically killed Whitmores while they were together, that he kidnapped her brother and had Enzo suffocate him, that he killed Aaron … that a lot of the destruction Damon caused to the group was in Elena’s name? Damon didn’t change for Elena, I need the show to let that one GO.

15. There is weird tension between Caroline and Damon and it makes me uncomfortable.

18. “I know there is a future you that’s going to ask for my forgiveness one day” like when he asked for forgiveness for raping and physically and emotionally abusing you, Caroline? Oh right, that never happened.

23. Cade is basically Klaus trying to get Stefan go Dark Side. THIS IS THE EXACT CONVERSATION HE HAD WITH KLAUS.

8x08:

5. I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY NO ONE IS TRYING TO FIND LOOPHOLES AGAINST CADE. Caroline is just “cool, Stefan, go and be evil with the devil” WHAT?

15. It’s really annoying and in bad taste that the show is discussing how the Founding Families didn’t found Mystic Falls because other people were there first (witches) and we’re just ignoring the fact that there would’ve been Indigenous nations. I also like how we’re talking about history but we wouldn’t talk about enslavement even though MF is in fucking Virginia.

22. Are we really fucking doing this? Matt’s dad is angry at the Founding families because they were rich and ran the town while his family were skilled traders and looked down upon as such when Bonnie’s fucking ancestor was enslaved to Katherine??? WHEN THERE WERE ENSLAVED PEOPLES IN THIS TOWN? Matt’s dad gets a rant but we’re not talking about the racist history? Why am I even surprised by this?

8x09: 

17. Oh my GOD, we’re only 20 minutes in?

20. Why are we acting like Damon’s humanity will crush him? He was fine with killing Lexi, turning Vicki, killing Jeremy, killing Aaron, kidnapping Jeremy, trying to kill Caroline, raping and abusing Caroline, etc. Like why wouldn’t he be fine with this? Elena won’t care.

21. Why do they keep saying Matt is stupid? How is Alaric any smarter? A fucking siren was his nanny for months.

8x11:

1. So I don’t remember if this is from 8x09 or 8x10 when Sybil explains that opening the door from Cade’s world into this world will destroy everyone in this world but that is literally Buffy season 5.  Glory is a hell goddess who wants the key back into her dimension but if the key (who is Buffy’s sister) opens her world then the dimensions will bleed together and reality will cease to exist. LIKE??? Does Julie even know what an original thought is?

11. “Look at Damon, humanity on and he’s a new person!” HE IS EXACTLY THE SAME. DAMON ALWAYS REMAINS EXACTLY THE SAME. MAGNUM IS THE SAME LOOK AS BLUE STEEL. OH MY FUCKING GOD.

13. So Matt can say that it’s still Stefan who tried to get him to destroy the entire town but he can say that Damon turning and effectively killing Vicki is a long time ago, him murdering Tyler wasn’t him. OK true. Not transparent at all TVD.

18. Why is Damon giving him pancakes and not blood? Is Stefan not a vampire? Is he drying Stefan out? What’s the point of this?

21. Oh my God, I am literally only 10 minutes in.

38. 21 minutes and 41 seconds.

42. Talking talking talking talking

43. This is the final season though?

52. I don’t care for Bonenzo but seriously Julie taking away Bonnie’s happiness at every turn is a blatant hatred of her character, I don’t give a shit if she says she gets an unexpected happy ending, the unexpected happy ending will probably be her and Enzo reunited in death or something.

8x13:

1. Seriously, Cade seems like a really petty devil though. “Kill 100 people or your brother’s girl” like … why? Don’t you have some world domination plans going on or…? Like why the interest in Stefan and Damon, what about either of them are particularly special to the devil? It doesn’t make sense to me. At least with Supernatural, everything from season 1 was leading up to Dean and Sam being vessels for Michael and Lucifer, like every season, every plot point fed into that so it made sense, this is just fucking random.

2. I’m legit taking this opportunity to tell people to watch Goblin because it is so much more intriguing than whatever the hell TVD has become. You can watch it on: Drama Fever, Box Asian, Drama 4 U Viki, like so many sites, guys. I mean, I’m just saying, if you want a show that’ll make you cry and keep you in suspense and make you fall in love with characters then that’s it.

5. “Stefan, thank God” sound even less enthused, Caroline.

9. “I don’t think this is just colonial bling” did they seriously make Dorian say that? UGH. Also who says bling anymore? Are we in the early 00s?

11. Why is Damon acting like he didn’t kill Tyler? I find this actually unbelievably fascinating. He can stand there and lecture Caroline about how Bonnie wouldn’t answer her calls when he killed Tyler who was supposed to be Caroline’s first love and her childhood friend? LIKE THIS WRITING. 

12. I don’t understand this, Stefan is human so he can’t be immortal anymore and therefore is out of the contract so Cade will kill him? Can’t he just make Stefan an immortal human? Like why does he have to be a vampire? He can kill people without biting them, there’s always good old fashioned weaponry. Like what powers does Cade actually have?

20. Like there are no side effects to turning human? You’re just human and that’s it. You don’t feel slower, weaker, you can just operate normally?

25. Lol Caroline and Stefan are so bad at being together.

31. “Sirened to ring the bell” it’s just compulsion.

40. And seriously he’s not even going to STAY with her? The supposed love of her life died and no one is going to just BE with her? Remember when I said she would grieve alone?

8x14:

2. I think it’s funny that Cade is talking about how Damon is in limbo, “the space between spaces” because my guy, that is JUST the Other Side.

3. No, see, the entire plot line with Cade and the Salvatores irritates me because it’s so conveniently linked to Damon and Stefan. He is the devil or the devil’s right hand man (since Katherine is the Queen of Hell for some reason, right?) I don’t understand why he can’t just find the weapon himself or get someone else to do it for him, there’s no reason that it has to be Damon and it’s the problem when a villain keeps making threats “Or I’ll drag you back to hell”, so then do it. At least with Supernatural when Zachariah wanted Dean to do something and Dean was like nah, Zachariah was like OK so what if I give Sam stage 4 stomach cancer? Or hey, how about if I take away his lungs? And we see him inflict these tortures on Sam while Dean watches. Or Dean starts off the season coming out of hell and we get flashbacks to what hell was like for him and we find out how much it fucked him up so when Uriel and Castiel threaten to throw him back into hell, it’s an actual real threat because we’ve seen the effects and why he would be scared. This whole thing with Damon is like … every time Cade says he’ll send Damon to hell I’m like motherfucker, no you’re not or you would’ve DONE did it by now, stop.

5. Bonnie being able to see Enzo is like Jeremy being able to see Bonnie and Elena hallucinating Damon. I’m bored.

14. Also where are the twins if neither she nor Alaric are watching them in this scene? Like if they’re setting shit on fire because of temper tantrums and are literally prone to blowing each other up now, I would be around them all the time.

17. I like how Stefan has, like, an actual plan to kill Cade but if you’re going to kill him, will you not slash his arm and punch him and make witty remarks, can you just stab him?

18. Because you see what happens, Alaric’s cell phone rings and he stops ringing the all important bell.

24. *SPOILERS FOR OUTLANDER* So there’s this show/book called Outlander about many things but at the centre of it, there’s a love story between Jamie and Claire and throughout the series, Jamie makes these declarations of love to Claire and says he’ll do anything for her, that he’ll be her shield, he’ll die for her etc. and there’s this villain called Jack Randall who is a sexual sadist and he has a particular interest in Jamie who he nearly flogged to death years earlier, basically Randall gets a hold of Claire and is going to kill her in front of Jamie so Jamie offers up his body to Randall in exchange for Claire’s safety and in that scene Randall nails Jamie’s hand to a table and kisses him while Claire has to watch and then Claire is forced to leave Randall and Jamie alone and in the next part we basically see the rape and torture that Randall inflicts on Jamie over and over. A lot of people had issues with that and asked the author why she felt the need to show the brutal rape of Jamie and her response was this:

“So, OK.  Throughout the book, we’ve seen that love has a real cost.  Jamie and Claire have built a relationship through honest struggle, a relationship that’s _worth_ what it’s cost them.  This is the final challenge, and Jamie’s willing to pay what will apparently be the ultimate cost.

  Why would I throw that away?  To have him escape rape and torture (he–and we–_know_ what’s coming) by the skin of his teeth would be to undercut his sacrifice, to make it of little moment.  (It would be like someone turning up in Gethsemane and telling Christ, “Hey, buddy, you don’t _really_ have to do this.  Come with me, I got a secret way outta here…”)”

And this is what TVD fails to do with DE. It’s one thing for Damon to be willing to go to hell for both Stefan and Elena but Bonnie shows up and actually saves him from having to undergo that threat and it undercuts his sacrifice because he didn’t actually have to sacrifice anything, he just had to be willing and it’s not impactful. So I’m not even a little moved by what Damon did because he didn’t do anything first of all, second of all after everything he’s done throughout 8 seasons why wouldn’t he choose himself, I mean, it’s the least he can do.

25. “Bonnie, wake up”, Stefan can you check her pulse?

26. “That little psychic blast must’ve blew me into my body” that literally makes no sense.

27. Damon and Stefan sitting on Damon’s car, drinking is basically just Sam and Dean. Stop it.

29. “Someone who can create a safe, supportive and loving space for kids … someone like you” is that Caroline, though? I’m sorry but she doesn’t seem like any of those  things to Josie and Lizzie, she’s shrill and just tells them to stop doing things, like I don’t know why she didn’t actually ask Josie and Lizzie how they felt when their magic was going haywire, like we don’t actually see her BE with them, she just scolds.

33. Finally, what anons kept asking me about, Katherine Pierce being the Queen of hell. I am going to admit something, I think the show and the characters gas Katherine way too much, she isn’t the baddest bitch of all, I don’t think the characters are toast because she’s running hell, I don’t even think she deserves to run Hell, she’s petty, it’s not like she has master plans that completely destroy lives, she just makes things inconvenient for the core group like *ugh* I mean I guess I gotta go fix Elena because she has venom in her system, like what were the major consequences of what she did in 5x15 to Elena? Elena didn’t see Damon for an entire episode and couldn’t sleep with him immediately. Getting Jenna to stab herself was rude but the major consequence of that is Stefan and Elena breaking up. She outted the Klaroline sex and it just fractured an already fractured relationship with Tyler. The worst thing she did was cause Jeremy’s death and that wasn’t even intentional, it was just like oh well … yeah, my bad, bye. Like she’s a mean girl on steroids, that’s kind of it, she isn’t like this Badass Villain that no one can top and OMG SHE RUNS HELL. I mean Rebekah caused just as much damage as Katherine did because they’re both petty.

8x15:

2. I like how opening the door to Cade’s world will only destroy everything for “miles”, like that’s such a small scale, shouldn’t it be the end of the world if the devil is walking among us? Or is he not the devil, is Katherine the devil? I’m confused about the Hell hierarchy, you see.

5. Sorry, pausing because my cat is being extremely affectionate and I would rather play with her for a little than watch what trash this episode is going to be.

6. But now she’s on my keyboard. It’s like she’s trying to spare me.

14. “That was a lifetime ago, things have changed since then” that should just replace the title of TVD. “Didn’t Damon kill your sister?” “That was a long time ago.” “Didn’t Damon kill your brother” “That was a long time ago.” And now apparently abandoning your family because of man pain and cowardice and immaturity is “a lifetime ago” too but oh no, Stefan was a ripper a literal century ago and we need to harp on it forever.

16. Why would Dorian agreeing to help them on how to get rid of the “Queen of Hell” be misconstrued as him being “cool” with Stefan though? Isn’t getting rid of someone who is supposed to be the devil Plus be in everyone’s best interest? Like whatever, it was just another chance to take a shot at Stefan. Transparent as fuck.

21. I mean, I don’t blame Bonnie for hating Stefan but Damon was responsible for killing Jeremy and kidnapping Jeremy, Enzo was responsible for suffocating Jeremy and she’s cool with both of them, hell she fell in love with one of them so I’m just like girl, I guess. The writers are ridiculous because it just feels like they don’t know the web they’ve created with these characters and understand that they’ve turned pretty much everyone into a hyprocrite. 

24. I don’t even know why Damon needs to tell Stefan that what happened to Enzo will haunt him like Stefan isn’t new to guilt. Why are they making it seem like this is Stefan’s first rodeo?

37. “I hope I get to see this one day with you and Elena” lol the FLATTEST delivery ever. Like do you even mean it? Do you REALLY? Think hard, Stefan.

54. LMFAO SO WHO ISN’T IN HELL? Vicki was in hell, Kelly was in hell, so like ERRBODY GOES TO HELL THEN? WHAT CRITERIA IS THERE? Like if I run a stop light do I go to hell because it’s against the law? What if I jaywalk or accidentally step on an ant or something? BECAUSE SERIOUSLY.

55. STEFAN WHY DON’T YOU EVER CHECK ANYONE’S PULSE?

and you already saw my thoughts on 8x16

[bigskydreaming]

princeescaluswords replied to your post:

Alex Summers, after the most recent of 128979889...

Why don’t you write Marvel? You couldn’t possibly do any worse and I could use the laughs!

Lol, its a nice dream, but realistically I don’t think there’s any universe in which Marvel would ever let me write the X-Men. 

Like, my very first story would probably have Bobby refreezing the Arctic while Storm heads up a team of elementals to combat climate change. And then a Republican senator and a Democrat senator would go on TV and make a bipartisan show of expressing their gratitude towards mutants for helping save the planet and this is the real future of humanity, this is them all building a world where they can live side by side in a mutually beneficial -

And then the broadcast would cut off because Cypher just hacked every satellite worldwide and said “all your binary codes belong to me now, resistance is futile, blah blah” before turning the camera to Sunspot who’s all decked out in his snazziest suit and dressed to the nines. Roberto yawns and flips the whole world off and says “LOL fuck you, the X-Men are done with respectability politics, we took a vote and our democratic process actually works, we don’t have a fucking electoral college. We only saved the planet because it happens to be the planet we live on, dipshits, nobody did it for you, you’re still cordially invited to go extinct. Or you can play nice and try getting along with the rest of us for a change but good luck trying to make Sentinels happen again, lmao, funding’s gonna be an issue for you pretty soon I think.”

He turns off the camera and goes back to planning his and Sam’s wedding, because look, I have my priorities, okay.

Then Mystique unleashes her new Fellowship of Evil (Same Name, But This Time Its Evil as in STFU, Its Ironic U Assholes) Mutants that she’s been recruiting from the ranks of the young and disenchanted. Overnight, the market is flooded with gold and gems transmuted from ordinary materials by mutant powers, as well as a bunch of shit ‘liberated’ from the coffers of the 1% via her Fellowship’s alliance with her son-in-law’s Thieves’ Guild. Value plummets instantly, and then technopaths join in the fun, crashing every banking system worldwide.

“Whoopsie, I broke capitalism, money’s worthless now, vive la revolution, everyone eat some fucking cake,” Raven sing-songs merrily from the chaise she’s lounging on while eating grapes. The city outside her window is burning. Meanwhile, a fiddler is playing nearby. She calls him Nero, because Aesthetic.

“Oh relax,” she rolls her eyes when Remy attempts to frown at her disapprovingly. “I had my teleporters evacuate the city before I set it on fire. I’m not a heartless monster, you know.”

“You mean you didn’t want to spend the next ten years dealing with your children yelling at you about innocent civilians and how could you,” Remy says dryly.

Mystique just shrugs and eats some more grapes. “Or that.”

Far-right dominated police forces and white supremacist militia groups attempt to forcibly establish martial law, except mostly they’re just standing around clutching their heads and trying to cope with the mother of all migraines as a gestalt of telepathic minds headed up by a Cerebro-powered octet of Jean, Emma, Betsy, Rachel, Quentin, and the Stepford Cuckoos psychically screams FAKE NEWS!!! into their brains every time their CO’s attempt to bark out new orders.

“Best school project ever,” Quire shouts. Emma smirks.

“Extra credit to the first person to psychically leak the full extent of just how extensively governments have invaded their citizens’ privacy with surveillance extremism in the name of national security.”

Jean attempts a half second of chastisement, but with them all linked this closely, there’s really no way to hide that she’s mostly just amused. Oh no, she and Emma are seeing eye to eye on something and there are witnesses and everything. The revolution was a mistake.

Atlanteans and mutant hydrokinetics team up to shove the worst oil and toxic waste and trash spills up onto the shores of every beach marked ‘privately owned’. The mile-wide ‘island’ of plastic debris that formerly sat in the middle of the Pacific is now parked off the coast of Malibu.

There’s a twenty foot demon from Limbo sitting in the Oval Office. It burps. Illyana beams and boops its nose. “Good boy.” It wags its tail and breaks the Oval Office.

Kitty and Kurt direct teams of similarly powered mutants in raiding the top secret R&D facilities of major pharmaceutical companies for all their research on diseases that never made it to mass production because they decided those treatments or cures wouldn’t be profitable in the long run because healthy people don’t need to spend a ton of money on medical care. Teams of healers are standing by to vet the viability of various research, while Hank, Cece and other mutant geniuses are already working on filling in the gaps on all the projects that were shutdown and Forge, Madison Jeffries and tech-based geniuses are converting existing infrastructure into the necessary machinery to take over mass production of these drugs, prosthetics, and sweatshop labor in general.

Speedsters and teleporters are redistributing food and stocking up the millions of properties worldwide that have just been sitting there empty for god knows how long, useless. Colossus is standing in the smashed remains of a mansion with his arms crossed sternly while a man who is definitely not meant to resemble the CEOs of either Tesla or Amazon or look like some kind of Musky Bozo hybrid cowers on the floor.

“You are a very stupid man,” Colossus says. “Why are you wasting billions funding research into space travel when there are aliens with a strong grasp of the technology in the ships that brought them here on every superhero team on Earth? You could have easily provided the Earth with working and widely accessible space travel by now if you weren’t so miserly.”

“Yeah,” Juggernaut says behind him, scratching his head. “Aliens have been coming and going from this planet for like fifty years. There are tons of fancy spaceships anyone could’ve just reverse engineered and mass produced by now. How come nobody’s ever done that and we’re all just acting like space travel is some far-off dream when everyone we know’s been to space like at least ten times?”

“Stupid people,” Colossus rumbles again. Musky Bozo wets himself and Piotr sighs and shakes his head. He didn’t even touch him.

Cyclops and Wolverine and their teams of bruisers are already done with the ICE facilities and have progressed to busting open prisons and liberating all nonviolent offenders. They inform everyone else that they can appeal to a panel of telepaths to read their minds and see for themselves that they’re innocent.

“Guilt determined by mind-reading?” Someone asks. “Lots of potential for sketchiness there.”

“Absolutely,” Scott says. “Which is why laws about boundaries and oversight have to be established. For now, its a volunteer basis only. Nobody has to get their mind read, but its an option available in the meanwhile as we sort out a better system for determining who’s been imprisoned for crimes of premeditated malice and abuse and who’s just been railroaded by an unjust and biased system.”

“So this is your new utopia, huh?” Sneers the prison warden, from the floor where he’s on his ass with a busted face because, idk, Reasons.

Scott just shakes his head. “No. It’s merely a start.”

“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, but if its broke and you wanna fix it, you gotta start somewhere,” Logan says gruffly. “Shit was broke. This is ‘starting somewhere.’”

He and Scott share a very Passionate look of camaraderie. Rogue sighs loudly.

“Just fuck already, jfc.”

Logan grunts. He already offered, but apparently all Personal Business must wait until after the Revolution was over, because a Scott Summers who put himself first was very clearly an impostor, so its not like Logan could even fucking get mad considering Scott putting in a pin in sucking each other’s faces after their We Were Both Dead But Now We’re Not and Also What the Fuck Was Up With Us For the Five Whole Years Before That reunion was what confirmed that it was definitely the Real Scott’s tongue in his mouth.

“Alright, let’s move it people,” Logan barks, clapping his hands. “There’s three more joints to hit before sundown. We got a timetable here.”

Jubilee squints at him suspiciously. “Since when are you efficient?”

“Mind your own fucking business.”

At no point does anyone suggest they erase the most sacred sites of all the world’s major religions and call them all fake or randomly resurrect a bunch of dinosaurs and release them on unsuspecting and innocent populations, because those are terrible ideas and make no sense and just because they’re stinkin’ commies now doesn’t mean they’re fucking morons.

Also, nobody grows a ridiculous beard or stops using shampoo or starts wearing flip flops or robes, because apparently those are not actually essential components of being a stinkin’ commie or even just a garden variety peace-aspiring socialist. They checked. Extensively. It was almost a dealbreaker. Emma, Monet and Roberto all threatened to side with the Capitalist Pigs if that was not thoroughly clarified before proceeding any further.

Thus ends my first issue. I email Marvel the script. They email it back, almost entirely redacted in red, with the note “This isn’t quite what we were looking for. Do you have anything about a new cure for mutants, maybe?”

I email them back: LOL NO. MAGNETO WAS RIGHT.

I am promptly fired.

I go back to ranting about how Marvel sucks on the internet.

[dansdraw]

Okay this is becoming a weird habit but new shit’s happened with Fuckboi and apparently it’s therapeutic for me to write about it so let’s go

[if you’ve got no idea what I’m on about, pls go read the previous post ]

After the random meeting on Wednesday night, against the recommendations of my friends that all agree i should erase him from my life and stop seeing/talking/texting him, I.... texted him like “haha had i known that we’d meet tonight, I could’ve asked you for a lift home” (which references to the fact that each time we’d go out with our friends who don’t know about our “special friendship” -bc he didnt want anyone to know- he’d offer to take me home to get some time alone) 

So we started texting and he ends the convo with “i’ll let ya know about tomorrow”, meaning that he *still* could’ve come to mine to “say bye one last time” the following night. 

The next day I don’t hear from him all day until 11pm when he texts me that he’s super tired after training so he wouldn’t make it - making this the third time he stood me up this week - and asks if I’d come to have lunch with him and our colleagues the next day, which was yesterday, and I’m like “idk we’ll see” and he sends me all these emoji hearts and begs me to go and im like ....okay. 

I would’ve gone anyway to say bye to my other colleagues (last night i officially left the city and moved back home), but once again it felt like I had agreed with what he wanted whICH SUCKS. I hate that he thinks he’s always in control jfc.

So yesterday I went to this lunch. It was weird for me. He was his usual cocky self, talking a lot, making fun of everything, very vulgar and arrogant. That’s him in a social environment in a nutshell. He’s a leo. I’m usually quite talkative too in this sort of situations, especially bc I’m good friends with the other 4 colleagues, but I ended up barely saying a word throughout the lunch. I had so much shit in my head, between moving houses, my graduating, him being a piece of shit to me for all this time and me still being so blindly into him. I’m a gemini.

I had a plan to put him on the spot and try to expose his being a piece of shit: i knew someone would’ve asked me about my transfer back home (not him bc he never asks personal questions, he's just not interested) So I would’ve referenced to something specific about my bedroom that only those who’ve been there would know, and he’s dumb so I knew he would say something about it and THAT would’ve proven that he’s been in my bedroom, therefore exposing him as the Fuckboi that he is. But before i could get to my plan he accidentally exposed himself. 

He asked me if knew who would take my room after I left and I said that it’s a good girl, i wouldn’t want for her to meet him bc he’s trash and she’s nice (the one thing that im happy about is that after many months i’m now able to tell him to his face that he’s trash, an asshole, not a good person but im pretty sure he’s used to be called much worse so it doesn’t bother him). and he went “you dont need to tell me anything, love, I can just go to your place to meet her” !!thereby exposing in front of everyone that he had been to my place!! and when he realized the mistake he immediately added “bc we ALL know where you live”.. yeah right. 

[[ Btw of the 4 colleagues we were with: M and P know all about me and Fuckboi (they’re my girlfriends, M hates him guts and P thinks he’s an asshole but he can still be saved); A knows only about our very first makeout -i was still working in the office back then and it was weeeeird af spending 9 hours a day with Fuckboi pretending nothing happened -; and the other one, G, knows nothing bc she’s the one that replaced me in the office but im pretty sure she suspects a bit, also bc P and A are kinda hardcore me+Fuckboi shippers? yep they both think I can fix him kinda.. it’s a long story ]]

So yeah the lunch’s been okayish, he was friendly to me as usual, said bye with the two kisses on the cheeks (the italian way) and drifted off into the sunset, meaning he went back to work and I went home with the itchy feeling that I won’t see him again in quite some time.

----And tHEN last night I get an audio message from hIM and I’m like WTF. In it, he references to a convo he’s just had with P about mE??? 

Okay I’ll write about this later bc this post’s already too long but If anyone’s read this far, lemme ask: why??? also: I love u!!!!!  pls “heart” this to make me feel less alone in this mess slash to let me know at least I’ve entertained some souls with my shitty existence? thank u bye.

[childofsquidward]

Queen’s Battle (pt. 1 + pt. 2)

*WARNING: SPOILERS  AHEAD*

First off, I didn’t think we’d get Queen’s Battle before 2019. I can’t be the only one. I for sure thought that Frozer would be the last episode we’d get to see for 2018.

Moving on, literally every time Marinette goes into freak-out mode, I want to reach through my screen and give her a hug - stop stressing my child out 2k18 and beyond. Everyone needs a Tikki in their lives, btw. Also, why do I feel as though the writers scroll through Tumblr? Because everyone’s been talking about Adrien’s allergies, and the writers fixed that plot hole up real quick with synthetic feathers. Like, I feel as though they’re getting better at not leaving us with a million questions…?

AntHoNy -

Girl, you forgetting his name on purpose or…?

(Gorilla’s face was everything though, he was probably just like, “my boss may be Hawkmoth, but at least he remembers to treat me like a human every now and then, sayonara bitch.”

Why isn’t the carpet made out of marble - jfc! I can’t deal with this woman and it’s only been like two minutes. Her magazine is named Style Queen? Why didn’t anyone on here think of that? Also, Audrey’s just a straight up bitch, I want to knock that ridiculous hat off of her head, she is the worst, and not to condone Chloe’s own actions, but if that's what I had to look up to, if that was my main influence growing up, I’d be Chloe too.

cLarA?!

Thomas, what the hell is this?! We can’t have parents on this show who are worse than Gabriel, he’s the fucking villain!

“And you’re fired.” - from what, being your daughter - wait, actually, that’s not the worst idea, run Chloe run (I’d just quit if I could)

Aw, Adrienette, my sun, my stars, the only way to turn this episode around… No, seriously, I missed their adorkably awkward interactions, it feels like it’s been a while since we’ve had on of those (maybe it’s just the shipper in me, but whatevs)

Okay, I know that everyone thought that Nathalie might deliver some savage comebacks or whatever, but her monotonous air of ‘shut up, god, why are you still here?” was the funniest shit ever, I lived for it people! Oh Nathalie…

Moving on, are they really gonna’ have Audrey get akumatized cuz she thinks that Gabriel making her sit in the second row (GOD FORBID) is a sign of disrespect? So he reserved the front seat for his son’s closest friends, one of whom designed a piece for the show, big deal.

The coffin - oh dear god, I knew it was coming but with the music and everything, chills, literal chills. Also, why does Emilie’s outfit look like a fencing uniform…?

But like, my boy Nino living his best life, fulfilling his dreams - YAAAASSSS DJ!NINO

“Is this supposed to happen?” - Tom is so precious!

ADRIEN WHY DIDN’T YOU RUN?! (I knew it was gonna’ happen, but he could’ve gotten away and transformed, ugh)

I know that Style Queen’s the villain, but she’s not wrong about the costume. Is it practical and thematic? Yes. Does it look like the work of an aspiring fashion designer? Don’t make me laugh.

Aw, Chloboats just saved her hero’s life - Chloe’s a real stan, like she’d do anything for Ladybug, even somewhat defy her mother.

Also, I can’t believe they actually made Adrien as Sleeping Beauty canon. I’m telling you, someone in that writers’ room is on Tumblr. 

Mari met Plaag guys, she met Plaag- I LOVE THIS SEASON SO MUCH!!!

Yo, I need flashbacks of what Plaag did to Atlantis, the leaning tower, dinosaurs, and god knows what else. Master Fu was quick to jump on him though. Like, Marinette comes in full panic mode and he’s just chillin, meditating, living life, but the minute Plaag starts talking he was in Mari mode like “no, nope, nopitynopnope.” and Wayzz just groaning in the background - highlight of the episode for me honestly.

Alya nearly became Queen Bee y’all!!! I love how Marinette just knows that she’ll be there, so she’s like, ‘yo, how’s about a second miraculous, you up for it?’ By the way, what are rules of being a miraculous holder exactly? Like, are you allowed to be in possession of more than one? Can they like, switch miraculous all willy nilly depending on the situation?

Is it wrong that I love Plaag even more now knowing that such a tiny little bean can cause so much damage? God bless Marinette and Tikki’s powers cuz’ otherwise, I think Plaag’s cataclysm would’ve probably destroyed the entire city, or at least half of it.

Also, Mari, sweetie, the bee miraculous! The bee mirac- this girl...

Nathalie knows?! Did we know she knows?! I know we headcanon she knows, but did we know?! Guys, this is too much for me. On that note, Pollen is adorable, I love her already, she must be protected at all costs!

Now onto part two…

HE’S GIVING UP?! GABRIEL, REALLY?! I mean, should be happy…? I did not see that one coming but I guess this was the final straw for him, so I kind of get it. Like, Style Queen was supposed to be his end all be all, and even she failed to seal the deal for him, and with Adrien being caught in the crossfire once again, it was just too much, and goddammit, am I relating to/sympathizing with Gabriel? Especially after what an asshole he was to Nooroo during the last episode, like, guys, I wanted to wring his neck, what is this feeling?

Okay, so after all that crap in part one, Audrey’s suddenly doing a complete 180 and being sweet and complimenting people? I mean, she’s still a shit mother so I still loathe her existence, but giving credit where credit is due is actually pretty fair of her considering everything we just witnessed. Everything’s coming up Marinette, and I want to be happy for her, I really, truly do. But we all know Chloe’s hurting and she’s gonna’ blow a gasket.

Imagine doing everything you possibly can to follow in your mother’s footsteps despite the way she treats you, imagine loving her so much that you nearly start to become her, and she doesn’t give a fuck and simply continues to refer to you with the wrong name (casserole, really?). Then imagine watching her praise your classmate who you despise, and offering to take her to New York with her when she wouldn’t even take you, her daughter. Add that to said classmate getting support from her own parents, one of your oldest and only friends and his dad, the biggest name in fashion who is known for being cold-hearted and ruthless. And the cherry on top is said mother not feeling a single speck of guilt, remorse or regret. I feel bad for Chloe you guys, her outburst makes sense, her anger is justified in my opinion.

Pulling out the miraculous though… I get it, rash decision taking her heightened emotions into account, but still not okay. Despite my feeling bad for her, I still don’t think her actions were okay, she’s so all over the place emotionally, she’s going about things the wrong way. She’s so desperate for her mother’s approval, she’s ready and willing to do anything, which actually makes her so dangerous taking her powers into consideration.

CHLOE WHAT THE FUCK?!

NONONONONONONO

SHE INDIRECTLY BROUGHT HAWKMOTH BACK TOO, DAMMIT, EVERYTHING WAS GOING SO WELL!!!

Of course Mari’s parents are the first to rise to the occasion and help save everyone, everything about Marinette makes so much sense now.

Moving on, the fight sequences in this episode were exceptional! I don’t know why, but they were so cool in this episode I just had to talk about them. Queen Wasp was like a one-woman arsenal, she was the most badass villain ever, which is saying a lot considering Anansi and Sandboy. The underwater fight sequence was good too, my only complaint about this episode is honestly just the lack of Pollen, like, she’s so precious, I wanted more than four words to come out of her mouth y’all.

I don’t know how the rest of you felt about the episode, but I don’t think that they forgave Chloe too easily. Obviously Adrien knows her, he knows she is and he understands why she did what she did. But that look on Mari’s when Audrey told Chloe that she wasn’t exceptional, and then later on when Tom said he was willing to do anything for his daughter, I think something may have clicked inside Mari like, ‘I have two parents who love me, so I’ll never understand how Chloe feels, but I guess I get why she is the way she is,’ and just like in Zombizou, this was Marinette extending the olive branch in a way. This Marinette is definitely different than the one from Antibug, and I like that Marinette is being patient with Chloe and letting her come terms with her actions on her own rather than being so quick to just berate her for her mistakes - THANK YOU CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT (for both my girls).

Now, as far as the confrontation with Audrey goes, I think a little part of Marinette used helping Chloe as an excuse to stick it to both Bourgeois women, and honestly, I see you Marinette and I must admit, you made me proud. Mari throwing shade aside, I feel like they could’ve ended it with a much more tender moment between Chloe and her mother rather than Audrey just being ecstatic at how her daughter is as horrible a person as she is, which I honestly think just regressed all the progress she made, like, come on Thomas, give me a break!

All in all, I did think that Queen’s Battle was a really great two-parter, part two was definitely a lot more action-packed and hit me right in the feels, but part one really brought that comedic element, so I guess they’re both pretty even in that sense.

[mcjour]

LOL so yesterday i was showering and wow i hate showering cuz i can’t stop thinking about it... nothing to distract me i guess.

so i was thinking about the same stuff as last week, about our friendship and about race and idk all of it

one thing i have been thinking a lot about is k.... i think i need “closure” (?) with her. idk i don’t like the word closure because ideally we would continue to have a relationship of some kind (after all... she’s a reference for me LOL). but i need to process what happened last year with her. 

like what the hell did she think was going on? did she see things for what they were? or was a huge chunk missing? and what does she know or think now? like did she hear about/ read what i posted? why didn’t she do anything to help me? (or did she try and get shut down and that’s why i don’t know?) (lol i know she kind of tried to help me once but about something so dumb) 

it’s terrifying to think about though, like what if she doesn’t “side” with me, doesn’t believe me, thinks i was wrong. that would destroy me, and take away someone so important to me. as it stands, without talking to her, it’s like schrodingers cat. 

one thing i wish was that i had better language about what was happening back then. i feel like if i had say “look i am stuck in a ptsd flashback and i need to go home” that would have held more weight than “i feel bad and need to go home” you know? but i hate that i get caught up in those little details? would it have made any significant difference? so maybe they would’ve let me go home that day (or! the night before!). but that wouldn’t have changed the toxic conditions i had been working in. that would’ve just changed that day/ week. maybe i wouldn’t have gotten fired. idk. but it’s so stupid to get caught up in these what ifs when realistically i should’ve been quitting.

so i specifically thought about that morning. that night had been so awful. i felt so so so sick (but i could tell it was emotional- not physically ill). and i had the fucking weirdest vivid bad dream about me hurting myself. i had trouble breathing in the morning too. so i was like FUCK i need help. i went to the main area early because i knew k would be there and i needed to talk to her. she was hanging out with n, which was kind of awkward to beg for help, but i didn’t care much about that. but i just had so much anxiety about asking for help, and i can’t remember what held me back, if it was just that social anxiety, or if i was afraid of being hospitalized (L M A O), or what. but k was the one person i trusted and i think that she could’ve done something... whether she got me the fuck out of there or just checked in on me later in the day... idk.

waitt......... i just realized....... i do not think a single person checked in on me

i said my mental health was so bad that i needed to LEAVE immediately... and nobody..... checked up later?

like ok, i would NOT expect anyone to check in during that activity, that would’ve been highly inappropriate in my opinion. but like??? not after???????

and i was soooo fucking sick!

like not even a big thing!!! just a hey how are you doing now!!!! or delegate to someone to do that. oh my god. it took me over a year to realize this.

LMAO so either they straight up didn’t care and/or they thought i was faking or??? what????? even if i didn’t have the language to be like “hey this is serious and this is ptsd” like ??? wouldn’t you check in?? (did anyone notice i wasn’t at lunch either)

NO wonder i was fired when nobody even stopped to ask what the fuck was going on

what an absolute slap in the face of you don’t matter

which makes what happened the next week even more ridiculous-- i was hardly worse on monday than friday.. but suddenly i needed to be hospitalized?? maybe if you had listened to me on friday it wouldn’t have escalated..... jfc. why didn’t you take me seriously on friday??? 

it. was. preventable.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i’m mad

and sad

and this wasn’t even the point i was trying to make??????????? lol i got off track and made new bad realizations! fun!

to the original point: me in the shower. thinking about how i should talk to k.

i was thinking about how hard that would be, but how i would have better language to use now, but that i wouldn’t even know where to start. 

because obviously it wasn’t just the retreat... there was so much that led up to that. 

but when i tried to think back to like “well what DID happen?” and like in that moment i truly could not remember anything!!!

and if i don’t remember anything then there is nothing i can tell her and therefore cannot “prove” my point at all and what is the point of that

it’s tough, having the memories come in and out. because that kinda combines with the gaslighting. and then you really have no idea what the hell happened and you kind of wonder like maybe it was something big or maybe i did overreact or i just really don’t know

so anyway, in that moment in the shower, i was not remembering anything. and i just suddenly started sobbing??? it was very weird???? i’m glad nobody else was home (besides my cat). i mean it wasn’t very loud sobbing but it also wasn’t quiet either. i did have some music playing as i showered so maybe that would’ve covered it up a bit or at least mixed with it lol. but it was just very confusing. i wasn’t really sure what the sobbing was attributed to (and i still don’t know) so it felt out of nowhere. i mean, of course it wasn’t TOTALLY out of nowhere, clearly i was thinking a lot about this traumatic situation, but it did not feel like anything specific had triggered that, it just kind of happened. 

i was p much done showering when that happened but i had to lengthen my already long shower to get that under control lol

ok i’m still stuck on my ~new realization~. it’s hard to articulate. how conveninent for them, i guess. that i can tell them i am struggling one day and they somehow chalk it up to me not being able to confront my privilege?? and then exactly one week later say well actually never mind you are so mentally ill you can’t work. like ??????? bitch i tried to tell you that last week lol. sprinkle some verbal abuse in there too

[moonytaeil-blog]

Dust - SUPERHERO!NCT Fic

CHAPTER 1 - HUNGOVER

Description: College is the literal worse but now a bunch of dudes have superpowers and it’s literally somehow worse??? srsly who thought it was a good idea to give college guys superpowers jfc??? especially to nct like ten can’t even wash his goddamn hands like  except for the dreamies leave them out of my mess they deserve better

Warnings: Assault, rape, LOTS OF PROFANITY, too many of my opinions, sexual situations, depression, anxiety, dRUGS, unedited, alcohol, college sucking, violence, nct being dumb per usual (assault & rape are only talked about not described in detail)

Index: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 - coming soon folks

Word Count: 1392

The night had already begun to fade. Bright lights flickered in every direction as Jason Derulo’s lonely voice echoed off of the paneled walls. Beer cans and other empty containers littered the floor. Hazy smoke billowed from the porch, pungent, yet fleeting. Taxis lined the curb as belligerent freshmen forced their other belligerent friends into the back seats and followed suit. It was already Sunday.

You had faded some time ago, having fallen asleep on a stranger’s bed early in the night. An unfortunate game of Slap Cup left you with your head dazed, and your liver most likely coming terribly close to failing. You were passed out within half an hour after losing and entirely unsure of the most recent events.

Forcing yourself to your feet, you exited the stranger’s bedroom and glanced at your phone. 3:30 A.M., Sunday September 18th. National cheeseburger day according to snapchat filters, and also your 20th birthday.

As you wandered around the mostly empty house, you found that your friends had most likely already left. It could’ve been hours, but they hadn’t left you any message or indication of concern.

You stepped outside, feeling the cool air pinch your skin. A lone person remained on the porch, leaning over the railing and rolling a thin joint between his fingers. His hair had been through some sort of massacre, thick dusty-blond locks sticking up wildly. It appeared as if his clothes hadn’t fared well either, as dried vomit remained on his shirt. If you had to guess, you would’ve said his night had been far worse than yours.

He flinched as the screen door snapped closed behind you. “Jesus,” the boy muttered before taking a long hit.

Somehow, you managed to recognize him. Hours before, he had been an entirely different person. He stood next to your during Slap Cup, and took no mercy on you. In that game, he had made you drink about four beers before he made you lose and drink that awful vodka contraption. The boy played Slap as if he spent most of his days playing golf with his fraternity brothers and nights chasing after girls and chugging Natty Lite. Everyone was chanting his name by your third beer in Slap. Jeffrey! Jeffrey! Jeffrey!

“Is that my vomit?” you inquired quietly, joining him at the railing. You had to grip the chipped wood tightly, as if you were going to fall off the porch.

He didn’t meet your gaze, and took another hit. “Yeah. You were about a foot away from the toilet when you hit me.”

“I’ll buy you a new shirt,” you offered.

The boy shook his head. “It’s my fault. Should’ve known you were a lightweight.”

You stood silently, looking out into the street. All of the cabs had driven away at that point, leaving just you and the boy outside.

“How are you not drunk right now?” you asked while attempting to retrieve the joint from his hands.

He held it away from your reach and finally looked at you. “It takes a lot for me to get drunk,” the boy answered simply. “And no person in the right mind would let you smoke after that.”

“I’m not drunk anymore,” you refuted. “I slept for five hours and vommed most of the liquor.”

He smiled slightly, the corner of his lips barely turning upwards. “You’re probably hungover, then.”

You snagged the blunt and held it to your lips. “I am.”

--

Your dreams were reminiscent of that night. Instead of being surrounded by darkness, you saw red. The sound of shouts nearly roused you out of your slumber, but you remained in that hellish world. Your head still span, unable to regain stability.

There you were once more, in that bed, your body incapable of moving.

A shadow loomed over you, only a smirk able to be seen. You knew his intentions from the beginning, yet could not protest. It was as if you were held by a straightjacket, a muzzle over your mouth.

Before anything could happen, you heard the door slam open. “Dude, what the hell are you doing?”

The shadowed figure didn’t respond and attempted to push the other person out of the door. That’s when everything became even more hazy. You could only hear punches landing and noises of defeat from the perpetrator.

You finally regained control and managed to sit up in the bed. “Thanks,” you slurred, tears running to your chin messily.

Your savior nodded curtly before turning away from you. The second he left, you realized his identity. Scarlet Hawk.

The realization forced you to awaken.

You glanced at your cell phone, the time reading 12:45 in the afternoon. Your roommate had awoken hours ago, and had turned from her laptop to give you a confused expression.

“I had this weird dream that I was being assaulted,” you explained, wiping at your sweaty forehead. “And that Scarlet Hawk randomly saved me.”

“Hmm,” she muttered, returning her attention to her computer once more.

You let out a quiet laugh. “Yeah, it’s rather horrible, isn’t it? When you have to look for men to save a girl from other men...I don’t think it would pass the Bechdel Test at all.”

Your roommate ignored you, but you kept pondering the thought of it. Despite your friends being absolutely shitty, they would be ten times more likely to save you from a random guy than any other man. Yet this was a subplot of several superhero movies.

It shouldn’t have happened in real life.

--

The second time you had that dream, you couldn’t help but think of one of your ex-boyfriends.

Your ex-boyfriend managed to get his hands on a gun long before the supers had appeared. At the time, he was only seventeen and hadn’t even graduated high school.

Neither him or his family had ever been in immediate danger at any point in their lives. Yet he claimed that he needed the protection at all times. And carried the gun around in his belt loop.

You, on the other hand, never felt the need for that.

When you were fourteen, you joined the cross country team without any expectations. Within the span of the season, you received a total of fourteen catcalls, you had been flashed, and the team was forbidden from running solely in sports bras. Your best friend had been raped after a party, after she begged the boy not to. Strange men followed you in a van as you walked to your bus stop on more than one occasion.

You tried to explain this all to him, but you couldn’t even explain it yourself at the time. There had been so many instances where you had been put in dangerous situations, all before becoming an adult. But you never bought pepper spray, or much less felt the need to buy a gun.

It’s needless to say, but as soon as he tucked a gun into his belt, you broke up with him.

When the supers first appeared, you couldn’t help but notice they were all men prancing around in tight uniforms shouting about justice and all. How painfully ironic.

You realized with the third repeated dream that those events were most likely real. It was more than common for girls to be taken advantage of at parties, especially when they’re really out of it. Shit, was it a generic plot line, but it happened to be your reality.

Each dream became more vivid than the last. Every second slowed. You could make out Scarlet Hawk’s dusty blond hair, the black speck in his eyes, the way his lip curled in anger. It was the first time you had seen another guy genuinely upset about the atrocities that happen to girls. He was quiet in doing his job, barely drawing any attention to himself.

Though he took your attacker out, he didn’t do anything excessively. He didn’t beat the living shit out of him. He didn’t make a lot of noise.

The dream remained recurring for the rest of the week. Each night you realized something different. Hawk had double eyelids, but definitely was of Asian descent. Dark bags rested beneath his eyes as well. You felt like some generic  bitch for this one, but you realized how attractive he was, too.

Everything lined up. Fuck irony.

[stillsolo]

for the first in a while, I'm gonna ... try to take it easy, today.  

I actually have a lot to do but I really need to chill the fuck out for a second and take a breather.  my OCD's made my life remarkably difficult lately and I've begun to disassociate in order to cope.  I know disassociation plays a key role in obsessive-compulsive disorders; I know my OCD's fairly severe and it's been getting worse as I get older, but I'm not...usually this bad.  Even when under stress.

for example, a batch of 200 commissioned banner icons suddenly turns into 400+, and I'm still not done because I can't stop keep remaking them.  

oh, this one's coloring is off. but these frames are split second to each other ... can't have that, gotta redo 'em. 

 wait, the pixels are...'weird' looking in the corner, here.  rejected.

this one could've been cropped way better.  how could I expect them to use this?

why is this one in the 'final version' folder when the border around it overlapped a part of the icon?

I need to redo these 73 because the shadow is too dark and blocky beneath the icon.  it’s supposed to be a fade.  it’s what they ordered and you’re not giving them what they asked for. 

someone's paying you for this shit get it TOGETHER

yesterday, my OCD got triggered about 3 times?  I have a couple of forms.  I had a breakdown in front of my mother after she came home and asked me if I ate and I know I must've made some kinda stupid face that gave it away because seconds after she'd asked, I realized I didn't know what the hell ate other than the toast she'd watched me eat before she left for work at 9am.  It was 11pm when she asked.  

I also had mini-breakdown while talking to my customer and it was terribly embarrassing.  I got a nosebleed to top it all off too lmao  ( i'm so sorry if you're reading this, john omfg you've been the best to me and I'm sorry because I'm sure all you'd wanted was icons to rp sdfkjsd )

but I just. 

All of my friends think OCD is just me having high ass standards or just being 'know-it-all'.  I've been called that all my life.  In fact, I've been called that by friends I thought would never say anything like that about me because I thought we were friends

We live in this new age of 'awkward is cute'.   It's hip to be square, cool to be uncool, and sexy to be nerdy and quirky.  and there isn’t any better way to declare your individuality and weirdness than branding yourself 'so OCD' about something.  

Ahaha.

I fucking loathe people who do this.

OCD isn't a quirk or a set of tendencies.  It's not fucking buzzf.eed list, not a little buzzf.eed quiz you can take and readily relate to the results; it's an incapacitating, isolating disease that makes you afraid of your own mind.

If my friends could see, just once, what it's like for me, when I'm caught in an obsessive-compulsive loop, maybe then they'd finally understand me when I say ''''it's bad''''.

Even Something as simple as drawing a line-art from a sketch turns into a complete and total nightmare.  8/10 times, I'll redraw the line-art like — hm, I don' dunno — about 7 fuckin' times in a row, then, delete all of it because IDK, it wasn't 'right'?  ( Who am i kidding; I do the same with sketches ヽ(・ω・)ﾉ  )

Oh, yeah, for sure.  Me and my ‘high fucking standards' did this.

NO.  No one in their right mind would do this.  They wouldn’t re-draw the same fucking drawing 7 times in a row and the same layer style over and over, not even changing things up to maybe get some progress.      Nobody.  Jfc.

And oh, god, that moment when you realize, it's been more than 8/9 hrs since you began and you haven't eaten or drank anything; you don't remember the last time you looked at your phone or what the hell happened to the time because last time you looked, it was 11am and now it’s 9:48pm.

Moreover, you made exactly zero progress on your project — because IDK — there’s no valid reason?  JUST COULDN'T STOP HA

I never thought I would talk about this, but uh, Y'all know how much I love han.  I want Han to be seen in the best light possible.  while SW has been one of the few things that have held a light in my life, he's helped me become a better person in more ways than I can articulate.  and no, I don't mean I suddenly started picking trash up off the highways.

I mean, by writing him in this amazing place filled with people I don’t have IRL who share my interests, I’ve met so many new people, friends, learned so many lessons, about characters and life and writing.  

When I began writing Han, here, I had just learned what present and past tense was in English.  I was winging my writing, trying really hard to understand.  English isn't my first language.  In Cantonese, my native language, there's no such thing as a past tense.  

By writing Han with you guys, I've taken huge steps in life, without even realizing it. 

So, everything I do for han, I want for it to be good.  

Not outstanding, and definitely not exemplary or nonpareil — just ... good. 

And icons — haha.  I love icons.  I love and hate making them.  similar to my writing, I work very hard on his icons.  ... but I need to learn where to draw the line.  

I once remade an icon 23 times before I was happy with it.  ( i had 23 versions left in my folder lmao ).  like these here?  10 versions of each, in the least. 

( the last one is kinda an exception... I think.  I made that one well over 25 times, for sure.  but I think it's because I'm not accustomed to Blaine's coloring yet. ) 

Wow, this really turned into a long post.  I don't really care, though.  My OCD is something that has always been completely ignored IRL.  Shit, it's ignored by even my online friends.  I can't even game online without one of them thinking I must get off on establishing my superiority and overall knowledge of '???’ game.  Haha.

'Show me your build?' :D 'Er...nah. I think I'll pass.' 'Why?  What's the matter?' 'You'll pick it apart.'

It's never considered 'advice' when it's from me.  It's me as a know-it-all, as someone who looks down on others for not having up-to-par stats. 

I'm sorry I did the math for you so you wouldn't have to.  This is simply advice you're free to toss aside, but it's not like it matters.  Even if I reassured that—you're already too annoyed to listen for any longer.

So, I’ll also apologize for how I can recall faction modifiers, body part modifiers, critical hit and stealth modifiers, as well as debuffs; how a certain amount of damage of one type turns into inflicted damage to a target while considering type modifiers and armor, and knowing the damage formulas needed to calculate the number of hit points required to kill an armored or unarmored target, with or without a finisher multiplier figured in — because I want you to do the very best with your weapon of choice, even though I can name 5 different weapons that utterly outclass it by tenfold. 

In reality, I never had much of choice.  Information like that doesn't stop looping in my mind, even at night, when all I want is to sleep.

Sometimes ... I wish I could be that one character on a comedy show who has a quirky disorder or ''OCD'' and everyone seems to love him for it because he's funny when he does it or he's generally helpful 

More often than not, my OCD just ruins everything.  I don't feel like I belong anywhere.

I need to take a breather.

[ridiculousn3sswrites]

French

*Lafayette x Reader

*Summary: Reader is failing French and the teacher assigns the actual French guy in class to help her.

*Warnings: None I think, maybe a bit of jealous Laf? Does bad French count?

A/N: Jfc I know Spanish not French why did I do this. I used like three different translators to try to get the French right but sorry in advance if it isn’t. Written by Admin R

You had no idea what was going on, it was like the teacher was speaking a foreign language. And, well, she was. You didn’t know how you managed to make it to French III, especially since you passed your previous French classes without doing any work during class. All you knew was that you needed to start paying attention and pass this year and next, just so you could get that stupid bilinguality stamp on your diploma to show off for colleges. It hadn’t even been your idea, your counselor had forced you onto that path, and now you were paying the price for that. “Mademoiselle (l/n), faites attention,” the teacher spoke, snapping you out of your pity party.

“Uh, oui?” you responded, phrasing it as more of a question since you didn’t know what was going on. There were snickers from throughout the room, making your face heat up as you prayed for the ground to just swallow you whole.

“Ne vous inquiétez pas, je vais m'assurer qu'elle accorde de l'attention,” someone spoke from beside you, their French fluent. You snuck a peek from the corner of your eye, spying Lafayette’s bright smile and somehow perfect bun. Of course it was him, he was the only one in the class that spoke perfect French. He’d moved to New York from France and for some reason was taking French III instead of something else. Not that you wanted him in another class, but he definitely could’ve been learning something more useful.

“Merci, Monsieur Lafayette. Mademoiselle (l/n), see me after class,” the teacher said, tapping her fingers lightly on your desk before walking away. You tried not to openly sigh, knowing the conversation would turn back on your grades. You’d spoken with the Mademoiselle before, her suggesting online programs and workbooks to help with your French, but they never actually helped. You looked down at your notebook, seeing more doodles than actual classwork. You knew that you needed to stop it and try to learn, but how could you follow the lesson when you barely understood half of what the teacher was saying?

When the bell rang, you walked up to the teacher’s desk, waiting as she said goodbye to everyone else. What you hadn’t expected was Lafayette coming up beside you, waiting as well. “So, uh, why?” You asked, slightly uncomfortable with his proximity. You mentally facepalmed, just loving your eloquence.

“The Mademoiselle wished to speak with me, too,” Lafayette replied, taking a small step back when he noticed your discomfort.

“Again, any idea why?” You questioned. You knew why you were here, but you had no idea why she needed to speak with her top student. There was no French you could teach someone from France, and it wasn’t uncommon for Lafayette to actually correct her on some things.

“Probably the same reason as you,” Lafayette said with a shrug. You tilted your head in confusion, not entirely sure what he meant by that. Just as you were going to question him further, the teacher walked up. She began speaking in rapid-fire French with Lafayette, leaving you completely lost once again. Lafayette was smiling and nodding in agreement with whatever she was saying, confusing you even further.

“Hey, uh, I might be in this class but I still don't follow when it's that fast,” you spoke up, rubbing the back of your neck as you fidgeted slightly. It made you nervous, especially since you knew they were talking about you.

“Sorry, (y/n), but I’m not exactly sure how I can further help you. Luckily, Lafayette here has offered to help you,” she told you, motioning to the boy. Lafayette smiled softly at you, easing your nerves slightly. “Maybe you’d benefit from having a personal teacher, not just websites.”

“I mean, that’d be great, but don’t you have like other things to be doing, Laf?” You asked, face growing warm. You liked Lafayette, perhaps a bit more than what was considered friendly, but you weren’t sure how you’d deal with him if the two of you were alone. You were at least ninety-percent sure you would spontaneously combust.

“Non, I’m generally free after school and mes amis will not miss me during lunch,” Lafayette replied, smile growing brighter. “So, would you like the help?”

“Yes, please. Thank you, Mademoiselle, Lafayette. I need to get to my next class,” you said, nodding at the both of them before hurrying out the door. ‘Eliza is gonna freak when I tell her,’ you thought, thinking of your best friend. Even though she hung out with Lafayette’s group often with her boyfriend, she was still excited to hear any news of your little crush. The minute bell rang, making you curse softly as you hurried to your class, avoiding any proctors.

“So, you’re not late today,” Eliza commented as you sat next to her, slightly out of breath.

“Just barely,” you told her with a roll of her eyes. “Hey, has Laf said anything about what’s going on in French when all of you hang out?”

“No, normally he just tells Alex he should’ve taken the class with him. Why? What’s going on?” Eliza asked, leaning towards you eagerly. Damn, you’d had high hopes that she had some sort of information for you.

“Well, apparently him and the teacher made an agreement for him to tutor me,” you told her. By the way her eyes lit up, you weren’t sure if this was better news for her or you.

“That’s great! You and Frenchie can finally get together after this,” Eliza teased.

“Shut up, I barely even talk to him. What makes you think he’s even into me?” you asked with a roll of your eyes. Despite your sarcasm, you were actually curious. Had he talked about you to his friends? What did he say? Were they bad things? Did he find you annoying?

“I mean, he’s called you cute a few times,” Eliza commented nonchalantly, smiling at your reddening face. “And I wouldn’t put it past him to finally make a move, the guys’ve been hyping him up for it for almost a month now.

“You’re kidding, right? Wait, no, don’t answer that. That’d be messed up if you just played with me like that,” you rambled, mind racing as you processed the information. There was no way Lafayette was into you, it just didn’t make sense. He was always so suave around you, never stuttering or giving any indications that he liked you. You, however, turned into a blushing mess, never able to express what you were thinking without embarrassing yourself in one way or another. It didn’t make sense.

“I cross my heart. Last week John warned Laf that if Laf didn’t ask you out soon, or at least flirt with you, he was going to,” Eliza explained, leaning closer so no one would eavesdrop. “And Laf got all serious, saying that John better not. I could’ve sworn Laf was going to deck him.”

“No,” you gasped in disbelief. “There is no way that happened.”

“Hey, don’t believe me. But if John starts flirting with you, don’t be surprised,” Eliza replied with a knowing smile and a shrug.

“Miss Schuyler, Miss (l/n), something you’d like to share with the class?” the teacher asked, crooking a brow.

“No, Mr. Greene. Promise it won’t happen again,” Eliza replied easily while you turned into a tomato once again. Getting called out twice in the same day seriously wasn’t working for you, especially since you didn’t like the attention.

“I expect it won’t,” Mr. Greene said, giving you both a stern look before turning back to his lecture.

“You’re a bad influence,” you jokingly scolded Eliza.

“As if, I was quiet before I met you,” Eliza laughed softly, rolling her eyes. “Blame the counselors, they’re the ones that put us in the same class.”

“My counselor’s also the reason I even need Lafayette to tutor me,” you added, groaning slightly. “Just saying, I wouldn’t mind a bit of flirting from John if it gets Laf to even notice me. And it doesn’t hurt that he’s a bit of a cutie.” Eliza just laughed, earning another pointed look from Mr. Greene. The two of you looked at each other, trying not to laugh even more at that.

A few weeks passed, Lafayette and you meeting up for tutoring every Monday and Wednesday during lunch. You were still struggling, but now you could talk to Lafayette like he was a normal person. “Wait, your real name is Gilbert?” you asked, face scrunching up slightly as you looked over at him.

“You didn’t know that?” Laf asked with a small laugh.

“No, everyone calls you Lafayette so I just kinda assumed!” you argued, smiling slightly. “I mean, with a name like Gilbert, it’s understandable.”

“C'est impoli,” Lafayette replied. “But my name is actually longer, which is why I go by Lafayette.”

“What? Okay, hit me with the entire thing,” you told him, pausing for a second. “That sounded worse than I intended, but what’s your name?”

“Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette,” he said after a bit of hesitation.

“Marie-Joseph Paul what?” You trailed off, struggling to remember the middle parts.

“Seriously, just call me Lafayette,” he laughed it off. “Hey, would you like to come with us later? We’re getting dinner with the Schuylers, and then I’m not sure what Alexander has planned after that.”

“Yeah, that sounds like fun! I’ll just need to call my parents beforehand, but I’m sure they’ll let me go. They trust Eliza a lot for some reason,” you joked, rolling your eyes slightly. “I wonder why she didn’t mention it to me though.”

“To be fair, Alexander didn’t tell me we were doing anything until this morning,” Lafayette replied, placing his hand on your shoulder. “Now, savez-vous ce que nous sommes censés avoir pour la présentation la semaine prochaine?”

“Uh, oui. We’re ordering in a restaurant and need to correct a mistake that’s been made,” you read from your notes. The dialogues were your least favorite part of class, especially since they happened at least once a month. You were fine with memorization, but the pronunciation got you every time.

“Right, do you want to work on it together or just have me write it all out and then practice it?” Lafayette offered. You wanted to have him just write it, but you knew you needed the practice.

“Let’s just work on it together,” you sighed, already knowing that you’d probably work on your part the day before it was due. “You’ll help me with the pronunciations and stuff, right?”

“That’s why I’m here, isn’t it?” Laf asked with a cocked brow.

“Yeah, I guess it is,” you replied. “Now, faisons cela.”

“That’s the spirit,” Lafayette laughed, taking out the assignment and turning to a new page in his notebook.

After lunch, you found yourself unable to focus on anything else other than your plans. Sure, you’d hung out with the Schuylers often, and you’d met the Hamilsquad, as they’d been dubbed, but this was the first time you’d be with them for an extended time period. Once your last two classes finally ended, you were free to freak out in the privacy of your own home. Well, until Eliza showed up at your door with no warning, pulling you to your room to get you ready. “Eliza, why are you freaking out about this more than I am?” You questioned as you watched her tear apart your closet in search of something for you to wear.

“Because this is your first time hanging out with Lafayette outside of French tutoring and you don’t seem to understand how major that is,” Eliza stressed, holding a dress out to you.

“No way, it’s still cold outside,” you said, pushing the dress back towards her. Eliza pouted slightly before going back to your closet, pulling out a (f/c) pullover striped sweater that you thought you had lost.

“This with some jeans and a t-shirt. Bam, instantly better than what you wore to school while still being simple,” Eliza said proudly.

“Rude,” you said, rolling your eyes as you went into the bathroom to change. You tried to ignore Eliza’s smug look when you came out. Sure, she had good taste and seemed to know more than you did about everything, but she could still be a bit much at times.

Alexander had picked up the two of you soon after, driving to a small diner not too far from the school. When you walked in, you saw Angelica, Peggy, and the rest of the guys sitting at a large table near the back of the room. Lafayette perked up when he saw you, waving your small group over to the table. You didn’t see the small look that Eliza and Alexander shared behind you, nor the one that John shared with Hercules. “(y/n)! You made it, mon ami!” Lafayette said, standing up and hugging you as you approached.

“Eliza showed up at my house, so I doubt she would’ve let me skip out anyways,” you laughed. Lafayette pulled out a chair for you, right between him and John.

“(y/n), looking as beautiful as ever,” John said with a cheeky smile, winking.

“Thanks, John. How’ve things been?” you asked, trying to ignore your warming face. You hated that you responded like that with any flirting, even if you didn’t like the guy.

“Good, but better now that you’re here,” John replied smoothly. Peggy made a gagging sound from across the table, making you burst into giggles. John continued throughout dinner, flirting steadily and holding your attention for the most part. Lafayette stole your attention back a few times, but John made sure it never lasted for long.

“Alexander, dire à John d'arrêter tout de suite avant de le frapper,” Lafayette practically growled.

“Je vous ai dit que si vous ne l'entendez pas, je le ferais,” John spoke up, talking across you.

“Pouvez vous les gars se calmer?” Alexander asked, eyeing his two friends warily. You looked across to Hercules, hoping he’d provide some form of clarity.

“Don’t look at me, I’m just as confused as you,” Hercules shrugged. “Don’t you take French?”

“Yeah, but I’m not passing,” you told him.

“Ensuite effectuer votre déménagement! Ce n'est pas ma faute vous n'avez pas encore dit!” John stressed to Laf.

“He’s not wrong,” Alexander backed him up. Lafayette just shook his head, huffing slightly.

“Je ne vais pas prendre le risque,” Lafayette told them, turning back to talk to Peggy instead. You and Hercules looked to John, hoping that he’d explain what just happened. Instead, he said nothing and smiled, going back to his flirtations. This continued for maybe ten more minutes before Lafayette hit his palms on the table, standing up and leaving. Everyone looked at each other, stunned into silence before Angelica finally spoke up.

“Someone should go check on him,” she said, looking at everyone.

“I’ll do it,” you told her, standing up. You left the same way as Lafayette, scanning the parking lot before you spotted him sitting on a bench a few feet from the entrance. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Juste parfait,” Lafayette huffed.

“No you’re not, what happened in there with John?” You pushed, sitting beside him, knees almost touching.

“J'aime vraiment vous et John pense qu'il peut juste en piqué et prendre vous. Et il travaillait, il était de vous faire rire et sourire et je veux juste être en mesure de le faire. Vous êtes si beau, et intelligent, et drôle, et parfait, et je ne peux même pas vous dire ceci quand vous serez capable de comprendre,” Lafayette rambled, you only being able to understand bits and pieces.

“Laf, please, in English?” You pleaded, searching his eyes for what you were hoping was there. Lafayette took a breath before starting.

“(Y/n), I like you a lot. And seeing John making you laugh and smile with his flirting, it got to me. I want to be the only one to make you like that, and I didn’t realize how much until tonight. You’re beautiful, and smart, and funny, and just perfect, and I hope I didn’t just ruin everything,” Lafayette said, eyes searching yours for any reaction. You didn’t know how to react. It was everything you hoped for, but you still didn’t know how to process it. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” Lafayette began rambling.

“Laf,” you cut him off.

“Yes?”

“Shut up and kiss me,” you told him, voice only slightly louder than a whisper. And he did, cupping your face in his hands as he kissed you, slowly at first, but becoming more passionate as it went on. You finally broke the kiss when oxygen became a necessity, Lafayette resting his forehead on yours as he looked into your eyes.

“As cute as this is, you guys need to pay your parts of the check,” Alexander said, breaking you and Laf out of your bubble. Lafayette nodded, standing up and offering you his hand. His fingers intertwined with yours as he lead you back to the table with your friends. You noted John’s large smile and knowing look shared with Eliza.

“Finally!” John cheered when you and Lafayette sat back down. “Hey, no hard feelings, right? I just needed to give you a little push in the right direction, you know?”

“Maybe, but I’ll have to think about it,” Lafayette replied. He pressed a kiss to your cheek, adding in a whisper, “Parce que tu es à moi maintenant.”