#it could be argued that they live life together so they're more than boyfriend

[wilder-fangirl]

am i insane for being perturbed when straight people exclusively refer to their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife as their partner? it feels like virtue signalling and like they want people to think 'ooh maybe they might be gay' and they want people to think that because they think being gay is trendy or something. lady i don't care if you're in your 40s and not married to the guy that is your boyfriend and we're not going to think you're cool because you're sprinkling a possibility of queer mystique into the conversation

if there's something i'm missing like please enlighten me

[eitaababe]

KISS IT BETTER !

ao'nung x metkayina reader.

a/n — sorry guys it's been a reallyyy rough past few days some shit has gone down but here's a lil drabble while i finish a fic 🫶 / also they're like 18 in this for sake of plot !

—

To say you and Ao'nung didn't get along would be an understatement.

You two always argued, no matter how little or how big. From the way your hair was done, to who couldn't hold their breath as long, who was better on an ilu, you name it.

Though, despite you not being able to see eye to eye with him, you were always close with his younger sister. You were attached to the hip ever since children, and you spent practically your whole lives with each other, pretty much growing up together. You also grew close with her family, spending many dinners over at her marui.

So of course, you always had to see her brother.

Tsireya wasn't blind. Pretty much anyone could see the way you two acted around each other. And if they couldn't see it, they could certainly hear it. There wasn't a minute you could be in the same vicinity as each other and not throw insults at each other.

However, nobody really knows how or why you're like that. It's almost as if you were born into the world and just decided to hate each other.

And so you're sitting in between Tsireya's legs, her doing a new hairstyle for your hair and you whining about her brother once more. "I just don't get it," you complained, huffing in annoyance. "He really thinks he can insult me with a face like that! 'You'll never be able to get a boyfriend looking like that, y/n'," you gruffly mimicked, inaccurately impersonating his voice. "As if he's any better! Like you're the one who can't keep a girlfriend. He's projecting, I'm telling you."

Pulling extra tight on a certain braid you yelped, glaring over your shoulder. "Y/n, you seriously have a problem," Tsireya stated, sighing. "I mean if you really hate my brother so much, just don't talk to him. You both are around each other a lot for people who claim to hate each other so much."

"It's not my fault!" You quickly replied. "I swear, he's everywhere. I want to go clear my mind and go for a swim? He's already there. I want to feed the ilus? Apparently he was planning on going on a ride. I want to stop by and have dinner with my best friend? He-"

"Lives there, Y/n. He lives there," Tsireya finished for you. "I'm just saying. He may be my brother, but if he pisses you off that much you don't have to talk to him. He's good at riling people up. Especially you." She commented, finishing your hair and patting your shoulder lightly for you to turn around.

"He could piss anyone off with the things he says," You grumbled, shoulders drooping when you fell under Tsireya's disapproving gaze. "Fine. I'll try to not let him get to me. Starting now."

"Oh that's lovely, because he's right behind you."

"What-"

"Hi sister," he paused, eyes glancing to you in distaste. "Y/n."

"Ao'nung." You acknowledged him blandly, trying to take your friend's advice and not be disturbed by his mere presence.

"Mother wants you home for dinner," He continued, letting out a sigh before going on. "They invited you too." He finished, not sparring a glance your way before turning around and walking back.

"That went better than expected." Tsireya grinned, grabbing your arm and taking you to her own marui.

"Wait until dinner."

Dinner was going better than expected. You and Ao'nung hadn't argued yet, considering you chose to ignore him and he did the same. Your parents had joined the dinner as well, so you had no other choice but to be respectful.

Your calm nature soon disappeared as you heard the words coming from your parents mouths.

"What?" You exclaimed in disbelief, Tsireya sitting next to you with a shocked expression.

"Really, we think it's for the best."

"No offense or anything, but have you met Ao'nung? I can barely stay in the same room with him, nevertheless spend the rest of my life with him!" You complained, ignoring the stern looks from your parents. "It won't work. Me and Ao'nung, we don't work well together."

"For once, I agree." The boy finally spoke, not looking up from the table.

"Y/n, Ao'nung, I know this is unexpected, but we've all talked about it. You would make a great mate for Ao'nung. We'd like you two to be mated soon before Ao'nung chooses a girl us or the clan would not approve of."

You noticed how his jaw clenched at the comment, yet he stayed silent. You closed your eyes, trying to accept your fate. When you both fell silent, everyone got up and started to exit the room. "We'll give you two some privacy."

You watched as they all left out the marui, turning towards the male. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"It's my mother, I doubt anything I would've said would have made a difference."

"Of course it would! You're her son!"

"You're just so stubborn, aren't you?" Ao'nung suddenly shouted, standing up now. "Thinking you can have everything your way? We have duties, y/n. Grow up."

"Clearly, I'm the only one who's thinking rationally right now! How can you be willing to spend the rest of your life with someone you can't stand?"

"Well like it or not, it's happening. Deal with it, because you're not going to change our parents' minds."

"I can't believe you," you scoffed. "I hope they don't expect me to love you. I can't see who would." You walked out furiously, stomping back towards your own marui.

"Oh, you're one to talk!"

The next few days you two kept your separate ways, but both of you knew your parents wouldn't let it stay like that. They'd practically set up a date for you guys, claiming it's so you could 'settle the feud'.

So you woke up, already in a bad mood, putting minimal effort into getting ready. You headed outside your marui, grumbling what sounded like a farewell to your parents, blood boiling at the sight of the boy who was waiting for you on the beach.

"Y/n." He gruffly greeted you, not meeting your eye.

"Ao'nung." You acknowledged him back, mind drifting back to the other night. Were you too harsh with your words? It was possible you could've gotten caught up in the heat of the moment, and if you were forced to spent the rest of your life with him, you should at least try to be civil.

"...how are you?" You inwardly cringed at yourself, making an awkward attempt to make conversation.

He sent a questioning look your way, realizing what you were doing. He almost wanted to laugh at how out of place you looked. He decided to play along, for whatever reason. "Okay. You?"

"I'm good."

The both of you didn't talk much for the rest of the day, but you didn't argue either, so maybe you were showing signs of improvement. You walked along the beach quietly, the occasional tight-lipped smile, or a hum in response to one of your or his attempts to make some small talk.

Your hangouts usually went like that, you'd greet each other and walk, tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. You were too scared to say anything about it, or change the newly made routine, until Ao'nung seemingly had enough.

"Y/n," he sighed out tiredly, stopping and turning to face you fully. "This isn't helping us at all. All we're trying to do is not argue every time we're around each other. We're not fixing anything, hell, we're probably making it worse. Even if we can't love each other, shouldn't we be able to get to know one another?"

You stood silent for a moment, considering his offer. "I hate it when you're right," you deadpanned, dropping the 'nice' act. "It's just so irregular. Why would I want to be stuck with you?"

"Cmon, I struck peace and you're insulting me?" He teased, flashing a rare grin to you.

"Stop smiling, people are gonna start thinking you want to be around me." You told him, walking off.

Ao'nung went after you, chuckling to himself. "I won't make it a habit then!"

To everyone's surprise, you were finally starting to get along. You acted like friends, even if neither of you would necessarily admit it. You were spending your time with Tsireya, deeming you'd spent too much time with her brother.

"I can't believe I actually saw you smiling in the vicinity of Ao'nung." She teased, laughing once you rolled your eyes.

"Oh shut up. We're basically going to be with each other for eternity, we had to stop hating each other at some point."

"He was talking about you the other day at dinner, actually. If I didn't know any better I'd say he's taken a liking to you."

"Absolutely not!" You denied, shaking your head. "We're not like that. Like at all. We're just friends now, okay? We don't see each other that way."

"Whatever you say."

What the two of you didn't notice, however, was that the boy heard the two of you talking, heart slightly sinking. Could you really not tell how he felt?

And oddly enough, he felt even more determined to prove how he did.

To your shock, Ao'nung started making advances towards you during your scheduled hang outs. They were subtle, but you noticed the slight flirting, or how his touch would linger on you longer than usual.

You didn't think much of it however, considering you just went from enemies to friends in the span of maybe two weeks. You were right to do so, when you spotted him with another girl one day.

When you first saw them, you really could've cared less. Ao'nung was popular, and knew many people. If he had friends who were girls, it didn't matter. Everyone knew you were each others promised mates, and the word quickly spread since people knew of your dislike for each other.

You trusted Ao'nung, he was not only your betrothed but your duties were to each other, and he wasn't dumb enough to try and change that.

At least you thought.

Their second interaction, you saw the same girl, Mau. She was a sweet girl, you knew her through Tsireya. You watched quietly from afar as the two talked animatedly, large smiles and their laughter heard from where you stood. You hid behind a smaller palm tree, it's leaves shielding you from their view.

You couldn't quite hear what their conversation was, so you settled for just watching. You were shocked when she pressed a kiss to his cheek, and how he turned purple in response. You denied how you felt your heart drop to your stomach, and deemed that their conversation should be private and hurried to leave.

In the midst of rushing out you accidentally walked right into one of the leaves, your lip getting cut in the process. "Oh, fuck." You cursed underneath your breath, hoping no one could see you leave. You sprinted away to another part of the beach, moving over to the marui near the ilus.

Ao'nung squinted his eyes at the sight of someone running away, thinking it oddly resembled you. A wave of adrenaline quickly hit him when he realized you might have seen Mau, and he jumped up in panic. "I'm so sorry, I have to go." He excused himself, rushing after you.

He found you with the ilus, smiling when he heard you talking nonsense to them. He cleared his throat, "You seriously have got to make some new friends."

You froze at his voice, almost turning around but realizing he'd see the wound on your lip. You stayed in place, back turned to him as you kept feeding the creatures. "Don't be salty I have more friends than you, even if they can't talk."

"In your dreams, hun," He teased, sitting down next to you, confused when you turned away from him. Concerned, and a little scared you saw his previous interaction, his head followed yours, trying to meet your eyes. "What's wrong?"

You pursed your lips, turning around and eyes widening when you realized how close his face was to yours. Afraid of talking and showing him your cut you only shrugged, shaking your head.

"Why are you holding your lips like that?" He questioned, making you hot with panic. "It makes you look even more stupid."

"Oh just shut up." You mumbled, figuring there was no way out of this. You lowered your head, but not before he could see your wound.

"What happened?"

You really just wanted to let the ocean swallow you whole.

"I ran into a tree."

"While eavesdropping?" He laughed, seeing the way your head quickly perked up, the caught look on your face.

"I didn't- I mean-"

"Oh don't worry, I know you were just questioning my loyalty. I mean with a face like this, there's loads of girls after me. Had to break many hearts knowing I was promised to you."

"Keep telling yourself that. And if I was testing your loyalty, you definitely failed. Not that I mind, but who lets other girls kiss them when they're promised to someone else?"

"If you're jealous, just say that," he simply shrugged, smirking at you. "I turned Mau down, by the way. Told her I was already to be mated with another."

"Oh," you couldn't help but let out a breath of relief. "Your parents will be happy to hear that."

Rolling his eyes at your ability to not take a hint, he only sighed. "Yeah, sure."

Ao'nung then refocused on your lips, looking at the cut. "You know, we should really do something about that."

"It doesn't hurt that much."

"You should let me kiss it better."

"What?" You exclaimed, looking at him incredulously.

"You heard me."

Not bothering to hear your response his lips pressed against yours gently, in fear of making the cut any worse. His hand came to rest against your jaw as his lips moved slowly. You felt him smile against you before he quickly pecked your lips again, pulling away with a smug look. "Feel any better?"

"I'm not sure, you might have to kiss it better again."

—

a/n — I FINALLY POSTED AGAIN. WRITERS BLOCK IS A BITCH.

[undead-supernova]

Masterlist / 18+

pairings: modern!boyfriend!Eddie x bisexual!fem!reader

plot: you and Eddie are very excited to spend 4/20 together. aka just two idiots getting baked and having fun

important note: this is a silly little unserious one-off of my High Tolerance series, dedicated to the best day of the year (other than Halloween)! This could be read as a stand alone but I think my series as a whole is pretty cool and it makes me squeal and kick my feet

warnings: W E E D, just as much fluff as you'd expect, actual smutty behavior, and YES in this one they're a COUPLE now !!!!

wc: 2k

It began the moment you woke up.

At the first indication of your eyelids opening, Eddie was putting an unlit joint in your mouth and carefully sitting a party hat on your head.

“Happy 4-20, Weirdo,” he whispered before presenting you with a cup of coffee. The mug was one of those ridiculous ones from Spencer’s, with a bowl carved in for the sole purpose of smoking while drinking coffee. 

And he packed the bowl. Packed. It.

Taking the joint from your mouth, you said, “Good morning.” It was all groggy and soft, resulting in a quick yawn and your hand lazily reaching for the lighter left on the bedside table. 

“We have a full day ahead of us,” Eddie said as you smoked. “Just you and me engaged in a state of bliss.”

“That’s what she said,” you murmured, smoke escaping your nostrils.

“God, I love you,” he said with a chuckle before taking the mug from your hands. As you got out of bed, he added, “Have I said that?”

“Not today.” 

“Well, I love you,” he said again, following you as you padded through the hallway and into your living room. 

But you stopped in your tracks when you saw a shitty banner strung up on the wall. Just a string holding green balloons with blaze it written out. Oh, and one with a shitty drawing of a weed leaf.

“Okay, I can explain that,” Eddie said, stepping in front of it.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, so there were literally no banners at Walmart, so I made this myself.” He lifted his hands and gestures towards it as if he was presenting it at an art gallery. “Look at that impeccable handwriting.”

“I know, I can actually tell that’s an e,” you agreed, nodding.

Eddie grinned. “You flatter me.” 

“Also, I think I love you more,” you finally said. “Just saying.”

“Uh, that’s false,” he argued, quietly skipping into the kitchen to grab a bag. “Not when you see your present.”

“You got me a present? When?” you asked. The two of you had a rare moment of having both days off together. You’d spent that time in bed watching TV and fucking. A normal day for you now, to be quite honest.

Eddie ran back over. “Jailbait Hemp had an early morning Wake N’ Bake sale,” he explained, presenting you with the bag. “Ballsy move to get me out of bed by eight, but I did it.”

“The bravest soldier,” you said with fake sincerity, putting a hand over your heart and bowing. “I owe you my life, my lord.”

“If you keep talking like that, we may have to play maiden in a tower again.” Eddie took a step forward, one hand on your waist as he put his other over yours. Cleared his throat before dramatically tossing his hair over his shoulder. “It is I, good maiden, that has come to rescue you. To guide you to freedom.”

Matching his straightened posture, you let out an exaggerated sigh. “Oh, dear prince, you have gone to war for me. How can I show you my appreciation and gratitude?”

“Oh, I can think of a few ways,” he murmured with a smirk, leaning in to kiss you gently. You couldn’t help but return the smile, your palm grazing his stubble as you caressed his cheek. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed the plate of cookies you’d left on the counter the night before mostly eaten. A glass sat next to it, the milk gone but a white film left behind.

Raising an eyebrow at him, you nearly moved away. But Eddie wouldn’t let you go that easily.

“Where’d the cookies and milk go, Eddie?” you asked.

“Oh, that?” he said, guilt written all over his face. “Babe, I told you Snoop Dogg would come and eat them.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Saw him with my own eyes,” he continued. “He told me to thank you for making them. He even left you two.”

“Two. Out of the ten that were left over.”

His cheeks tinged with pink as he tried not to laugh. “Snoop Dogg got up to pee, right? And then he saw all those cookies you left out and was like ‘Oh, wow, those look really good for a four-a-m snack. Thanks, bro.’”

But Eddie clearly knew he wasn’t getting out of it that easily. “And he was like, ‘Damn, your girlfriend is just so hot. Sooo sexy. Give her a kiss for me.’”

“Snoop Dogg said that?” you questioned, fighting a smile as you went to wrap your hands around his waist. 

“Mhm.”

You nodded, pulling him closer. “Every word of that, right?”

“Totally. And I told him to back off ‘cause I spent three years trying to date you.”

“Yeah, it ruined my five-year plan, actually,” you said with a smirk, lifting your hands to trace his collarbone. Eddie laughed, but he shivered at your touch. “Could you imagine still being just friends still? Today of all days?”

Eddie shook his head. “Considering I got painfully hard whenever I was around you—still do, obviously.” His eyes flickered down to the growing bulge in his pajama pants. “But I would not have been able to keep my hands off you. You, my dear, are the most outrageously beautiful being to walk this land.”

“Smooth,” you complimented, trying to slow your racing heart. “I may just forgive you for eating my cookies.”

“Remember when we decided to stop smoking?’ You nodded. “And we had an argument in the kitchen?” You nodded again. “I don’t know why, but I wanted to bend you over the counter so bad it was killing me.”

You couldn’t help your goofy grin despite the aching wetness pooling in your underwear. “That’s funny, ‘cause I was thinking the same thing.”

“Really?” he asked, surprised.

“We were eye-fucking each other,” you whispered, letting your hand move up to caress his face again, placing your thumb against his bottom lip. Watched as he opened his mouth willingly for you. 

Eddie’s breathing became staggered, slithering his hands down to cup your ass. “You can’t tell me that wasn’t hot, though.”

“Edging each other for, what, two of those years?”

Pressing you back against the wall dividing the living room and the kitchen, Eddie slotted his thigh between your legs. Lifted one of your thighs to sit at his hip, grinding himself against you. 

Being teased was so much more intense within the haze of your high. Every movement was another wave of pleasure, tipping you further into insanity. And you could tell Eddie felt the same from the way he swallowed, clearly trying to keep his composure.

“I do have you all to myself now, you know.”

He ground against you again, pulling a louder moan out of you. You couldn’t help but push your thumb past his lips, watching his eyes roll back as he sucked on it. Swirled his tongue around the digit..

You two were a dangerous pair.

“Eddie, if you don’t bend me over right now, I think I’ll fucking die.”

You didn’t have to tell Eddie twice.

It was almost impossible how quickly he had you pressed against the wall with his cock out and your underwear shoved down your thighs. You let out a sound of impatience, turning your head to watch him pull a condom from his pocket and roll it on.

Your eyebrows pulled tight in confusion when he pulled out another small packet, this time being lube. He messily pumped it along his length. And, before you could ask any questions, he was lining himself up at your entrance and pushing in. 

And, as he bottomed out, you gasped. 

“Oh fuck,” you whined, head falling back, feeling his wild hair against your face. “Did you have a condom and lube in your pocket the entire time?”

Eddie finally thrusted into you, a high-pitched sound leaving his mouth. “Jesus, sweetheart.” He sighed. “Considering we fuck like rabbits? Yeah. Yeah, I did.”

“Happy 4-20,” you teased, pushing back on his cock and reveling in the squelching sound and the way his cock buried even deeper inside you.

He gasped, tightening his grip on your hips. “Happy 4-20, baby.”

It took you and Eddie about two more hours to come down from desire, the intimacy too alluring in this state. It had only been six months since you started dating, having nothing but time to make up for. And you’d tried to stop after the first round…and the second. Popped some pizza rolls in the oven and tried to put a movie on. Ended up riding him until the timer was up.

And you would never admit to immediately forgetting they were still in the oven. Though, that was Eddie’s fault for not letting you go until you finished. Always a gentleman, that one.

You ended up in a tank top and a new pair of underwear while he threw on some boxers and one of your cropped t-shirts. Cracked open your windows to air out the joint he bought this morning. Let him crank up the music on his phone as you shimmied your way around the apartment, passing the joint back and forth. It was easy to forget to pace yourselves when he was pulling you close and putting it between your lips.

And it was an easy kind of love, the kind you’d always shared. Everything felt just the same as it had, only needing to remove the tension to fully embrace it. Eddie was always touching you now, no matter where you were. Always doting on you and whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

Steve and Robin always complained that you were lovesick idiots—and they were right, of course. Eddie was always blabbering about your shared future, all the plans that were practically set in stone now. There was no room for doubt or questions. 

“I’m gonna marry you, you know,” he murmured, kissing your forehead, one hand on your exposed hip as you swayed. “Just you fucking wait.”

“Mm,” you hummed, your content smile widening. “I’d like that.”

“Yeah?”

You laughed. “Eddie, you’ve told me that, like, a million times since we became official. You already know I wanna marry you, too.”

“Well, I won’t stop,” he promised. “And we’ll have joints at the reception and everyone will dance and we’ll do karaoke and do that cake shoving thing and I’ll have the sickest vows and it’ll be ridiculously cheesy.”

“You’re gonna cry more than me,” you teased. “A big ole baby.”

He giggled. Eddie fucking giggled. It was the cutest goddamn sound you’d ever heard, knowing that he was as elated by your love as you were. Two goddamn smitten idiots. 

“It’s gonna be fucking amazing,” he said, putting the last of the joint up to your lips. Watched as you took a puff. “And we’re gonna slow dance to the Lord of the Rings theme song.”

That made you laugh which then made you cough, stepping away from him and clutching your stomach. 

“Fuck!” he exclaimed, obviously trying not to laugh. “Are you okay?”

You nodded, rushing over to chug the last of your glass of water. Just so you could exclaim, “We are not slow dancing to that.”

“Why not?” he asked, scoffing as he put his unoccupied hand on his hip. “It matches our theme.”

“Our theme?”

“Yeah, like, you’re gonna dress up like Arwen and I’ll be decked out in Aragorn’s sick outfit. It's perfect. What about that don’t you get?”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, and let me guess. You think we’re gonna get replicas of that fucking ring.”

Eddie couldn’t help his goofy laughter, tossing the burnt filter onto the counter before taking your hands in his. “Was that not already established?”

“You’re the absolute worst boyfriend to exist,” you teased, moving to brush his nose with yours. Breathing him in, all hazy and at ease.

“Yeah, but I’m a great husband,” he whispered before kissing you once more.

another thanks to the lovely @strangergraphics for helping me with the dividers and the editing. you're the best I love you mwuah

[thelastwalkingsoul]

Birthday post for my beloved B @stevesbipanic Eddie will never forget the day he found out Steve could sing.

He'd gone over to Steve's house to surprise him, using the key his boyfriend had given him not long after they officially started dating. Eddie had opened the door to music, loud and so very Steve. He'd walked into the kitchen to find Steve in the middle of cooking dinner, hips swaying. It wasn't an unusual sight. What caught Eddie off guard was the voice he could only describe as angelic. Something about it sounded so unlike Steve and it caused Eddie to stand still in the doorway, watching his boyfriend.

When Steve finally turned around, he jumped, face turning that pretty pink Eddie liked so much. He'd laughed awkwardly, clearly embarrassed. Eddie had simply walked over and pulled Steve in, complementing his voice between kisses. Steve later admitted that he never sang in front of anyone, too self-conscious of his voice. Eddie had stumbled across the magic of Steve's singing, meant for no one, but a gift he had all to himself.

Years later, he and Steve are happily living together in their cozy little house. Steve's a teacher at a local middle school and Eddie is riding the success Corroded Coffin has made for themselves. Their both content with where they are in life and sometimes Eddie can't believe he made it this far.

Steve is still just as gorgeous as the day Eddie fell for him. Robin constantly teases them for how grossly in love they are. And ever since Eddie found out Steve could sing he has treasured every little musical sound his boyfriend has made. Steve has a frankly adorable habit of subconsciously humming or singing whatever song Eddie's been working on recently and it makes Eddie positively melt. He tries his best to memorise the lyrics to all of Corroded Coffin's music and listens to every demo Eddie produces.

Eventually, Eddie manages to convince Steve to come and record himself singing in their at-home studio. Steve's still apprehensive about it, but Eddie promises it's for fun and drags him inside. They fuck around for hours, losing track of time as Steve sings through his favourite songs, then parts of Eddie's favourite songs, and then some of Corroded Coffin's songs. Eddie listens with a grin on his face the whole time, reassuring Steve when he needs it. Right at the end, Steve starts singing Eddie's newest work in progress. It's quiet and slightly slower than the original but it's sweet and Eddie eats it up. He sits, pretending to fiddle as he listens. It's his favourite sound in the world.

A month later, with an idea that's been brewing in his mind for several weeks, Eddie nonchalantly asks Steve how he'd feel if he could share his musical talent with the world, without anyone knowing it was him. Steve seems suspicious but answers anyway. It's all Eddie needs.

He secretly adds the small audio clips of Steve singing his newest work in progress, due to come out in the next few months. His bandmates pick it out, knowing it doesn't sound like Eddie or any of them but, despite knowing Steve well, can't pick that it's him. It's perfect and Eddie publishes the song like that. Steve's vocals are there, soft and airy in the background. Not too noticeable but loud enough that they add a little something extra to the song.

Now, Eddie knows Corroded Coffin fans are a little rabid. They're scarily observant, especially when it comes to picking hidden shit out of their songs. But Eddie didn't expect the insane reaction Steve's vocals have on the fanbase. People lose their shit. They love it. Love the tone and airy quality of it. They demand more. The best part is the mystery it creates around who it is. The fans argue over whether or not it's Eddie or the other band members. Some believe it's none of them, a secret 5th person left uncredited. Eddie stays silent on the discourse, absolutely loving the chaos it's creating amongst their fans.

Steve himself is confused. A small group of his students who he knows are fans of Corroded Coffin have been debating for days. He can't help but listen in, always interested in the little gossip he can gleam about Eddie's band. They turn to him one day as he's listening in and ask for his opinion, getting him to listen to the new song for the first time. He's sure he gasps when he hears his own goddamn voice singing back at him. It's quiet, sure, but Steve's surprised his students haven't figured out it's him yet. They seem to like it though, and while Steve's a little mad that Eddie put them in there without asking, he feels more than a little warm when he realises how much care Eddie put into including Steve in something he loved whilst making sure it wasn't too obvious. Still, though, Steve feels like he wants to simultaneously punch Eddie and kiss him till they’re both gasping for air.

Nobody can blame him if he goes home later that day and does both.

[steviewashere]

I think...in a D&D world, Steve Harrington would be a half-orc. And I'm gonna go off of my copy of the 5e Player's Handbook for this. Also, I give my own little D&D headcanons on Eddie, Robin, Nancy, Jonathan, and Argyle, too. <3

So half-orcs are born from a marriage (which are born from an alliance) between a human and an orc. They tend to have a mix of human and orc traits; they're strong, bulky, between 5 and 6 feet, can see in the dark, and are rather emotional beings. They get angrier quicker, "an insult stings like acid" (5e Player's Handbook, Chapter 2: Races, pg. 41). On this same page, in the same paragraph in fact, "They tend to be short-tempered and sometimes sullen, more inclined to action that contemplation and fighting than arguing. And when their hearts swell with love, they leap to perform acts of great kindness and compassion." Which sounds like Steve Harrington to me.

Half-orcs are typically adorned in scars. Some carry pride for these blemishes, as they were earned through battle. Other scars are from imprisonment or from a disgraced exile. And like...the whump that's there within the exile; Steve Harrington who doesn't get into college, forced to work minimum wage as a "lesson" by his parents, thinks his dad is an asshole, knows himself to not be a great boyfriend but a great babysitter. Him being exiled is the perfect half-orc backstory for him. Also, Steve would have SO many scars from fighting, even if some of these fights weren't won, he'd be so incredibly proud of himself for at least distracting the bad away from the pact of people he cares about.

And the other thing for me is that half-orcs and tieflings work so well together in my brain. Half-orcs being this machines of rage as guided by their god; tieflings being generally mistrusted and frowned upon, often falling into careers that are also generally mistrusted (thieves, crime lords, swindlers). Eddie would be a tiefling, and you know me: Major Steddie Shipper.

Steve being this guy who doesn't believe himself to be good by the very nature of who he is due to his race, for the fact that he's been exiled by the ones that he thought cared about him, and for being a fighter, generally. Eddie who tells him that he's a good guy, that he's got a big and beautiful heart, even if he doesn't realize it yet.

Eddie believing that he'll never be somebody that any single person could come to love or trust. Him being a runner rather than a fighter, always muddling himself with crime and harm. Being snippy and quick, yet constantly frightened. Steve telling him that he needs to cut himself some slack. Steve believing Eddie about Nancy (initially, before Eddie and Steve get together). Trusting Eddie's opinion?

I mean, c'mon. That's just too perfect.

But like...I love the idea of human Steve a lot in a D&D world, but what about half-orc fighter Steve? And the companion in his party, Eddie the Tiefling Thief who he begrudges first, but then comes to trust and love fully with no way of controlling his real emotions for Eddie? IT'S PERFECT!

Thinking more on the older teens, I believe Robin would be a half-elf. She lives a lonesome adventuring life before coming across Steve and Eddie, a band of misfit outcasts. Which, according to my handbook, half-elves often migrate to groups containing outcasts because they neither fit in human or elf communities. Half-elves have a love for the arts and nature, but also rely heavily on human intelligence, to which they hold.

Nancy, I think, would be a human. A Tethyrian human. She relies heavily on human culture, her human intelligence, and whatnot. But she accepts outcasts and other races pretty openly, as humans do in the D&D world (y'know, considering there are such races as half-orcs and half-elves). She's always striving to do the best in her life, to really maximize her existence because humans are not mortal creatures.

I think Jonathan would be a full on elf. I don't have much to say on why I think this. Outside of the fact that elves love art and nature. I can also see him as a Drow, specifically. Again, I'm not sure why. But that's just how I feel. And with Argyle, I haven't thought of anything yet; maybe a dwarf? He's not short by any means, but dwarves love their livelihood and Argyle definitely enjoys himself 90% of when we see him.

[mimisempai]

I'll find you at the end of the road - Chap 5/8

Chapter summary - Your now is not my now

They meet but how can a meeting go well when one knows and the other not...

On Ao3

Chap 1 - Chap 2 - Chap 3 - Chap 4 - Chap 5 - Chap 6 - Chap 7 - Last chapter

The Dirty Donkey - 2024

Eric exclaimed, "Why didn't you tell us it was your birthday? We could have thrown you a little party or something. No one should be alone on their birthday."

Crowley replied with a lopsided grin, "I don't really like to make a fuss about my birthday. It's just the passage of time after all." 

Eric looked at him with piercing eyes and said gently, "You keep a lot to yourself, don't you?"

Even though he was beginning to open up a little more lately, Crowley couldn't argue with him, and besides, he felt strangely comfortable with the other man. 

There was no judgment in Eric's eyes as he continued, "There's nothing wrong with that. But sometimes I wonder what else you have in your life besides your work. Do you have a family? A girlfriend or boyfriend? Hobbies? A pet?"

Crowley was silent at first, but in the face of Eric's kindness, he finally began to talk about himself.

Furfur's house - At the same time - 2022

Furfur placed a glass of champagne in Crowley's hands. Still in a state of shock from the unexpected party, he let Furfur lead him to be introduced to his circle of friends. If one could call it a circle, when it gave the impression that half of the city was here. The next few minutes were nothing but toasts, hugs and congratulations. 

Now that the surprise had worn off, Crowley tried hard not to show that he was annoyed. 

They arrived near Aziraphale and Arthur, who had their coats in hand and were about to leave.

Furfur said in a high voice, "Crowley, I'd like you to meet Aziraphale and uh... Arthur. Aziraphale will help us find our lake house."

Crowley nodded at them and replied with a smile, "Hello. Thank you for coming."

The two men greeted him in return when suddenly, seeing that they were holding their coats, Furfur asked in a dramatic voice, "Are you leaving already?"

Aziraphale looked at them, his gaze slipping to Furfur's arm around Crowley's waist before he replied, surprising himself, "No, actually, we're staying."

He felt Arthur's irritated look on him, but decided to ignore it completely.

Furfur exclaimed, "Perfect! That's more like it. Come on Crowley, I've got some more people for you to meet."

Crowley gave a pinched little smile and followed his enthusiastic friend with a not-so-enthusiastic air.

A little later, Aziraphale was looking for a restroom and passed by a half-open bedroom door. Inside, Furfur was kissing Crowley. Aziraphale quickly stepped back and heard Crowley say, "Not here, not now. We have... guests... A lot of guests."

Furfur asked, "Were you surprised?"

Crowley replied in a tone that Aziraphale found more annoyed than pleased, "To be surprised, I was. When are they leaving?"

Furfur asked worriedly, "What is it Crowley?"

Crowley sighed and replied, "Nothing. I'm fine... It's just I've had a long day, plus the crowded train, I don't know. I guess I thought we'd be alone tonight. You know I don't like to make a big deal out of my birthday."

Furfur replied plaintively, "But they're my friends, babe. They'll be our friends. I want you to get to know them. We're going to make a life here."

Crowley sighed and said quietly, "I know. I know. And don't call me babe. I don't like it. And you know it."

The Dirty Donkey - 2024

"We moved in together after I graduated. He rented a big house. A beautiful place, north of the city. We were going to live there forever. That was the plan."

Eric, who was listening attentively, asked him softly, "What happened?"

Crowley shrugged and replied a little bitterly, "The problem was, it was his plan, not mine. It always was. I just followed. "

Eric nodded, looking understanding, and Crowley shook his head before continuing, "No, I'm not being fair. I thought I wanted it too. I don't know. Anyway, I ended it."

Eric put his hand on his arm and said soothingly, "It was and is your right, Crowley. You don't have to justify or apologize, whatever your reasons, you had the right to end the relationship. Maybe for a while you thought you'd be happy that way, and then you realized you wouldn't. Time has taught me that happiness can take many forms, you just have to grab it when it's there, but also know how to let go when it's gone."

They both took a sip of their drink and Eric asked, "So who are you writing to?"

Crowley didn't answer right away. 

He didn't know how to explain Aziraphale. 

Faced with Crowley's silence, Eric added gently, "Sorry. It's none of my business."

Crowley shook his head and replied, "No, don't apologize. You're right, there is someone. "

He twirled his glass in his hands to calm himself and added, "It's kind of a...long-distance relationship."

Eric's eyes lit up with interest as he asked, "How long?"

Crowley sighed, "A long time...sort of."

"How did you two meet? "

Crowley blushed slightly and replied, "We didn't meet. "

"What?"

"We just write letters to each other."

Eric laughed softly and replied, "Is that a joke?"

Crowley shook his head again and replied, "No, I promise."

"You mean it's like a pen pal?"

Crowley nodded and Eric laughed again, but Crowley didn't join in and drained his glass before continuing, a little sadly, "That's the story of my life. Keeping everything at a reasonable, safe distance. Everyone... The man who loved me, who wanted to marry me, I pushed him away, I ran away, I kept running away. Whereas now, the one man I can never meet... I want to give him my whole heart."

Eric shook his hand and looked at him sympathetically, "So you've never really talked to him face to face? "

"Nev..." Crowley paused, suddenly realizing something, "No. Wait.  Once..."

Furfur House - 2022

Crowley had to get out after his talk with Furfur because he really needed some fresh air. He felt more and more suffocated and knew that he was partly to blame. 

He sat down on the stairs and, after a heavy sigh, suddenly realized that he wasn't alone. 

Aziraphale, the blond guy in the old-fashioned suit, was there too, all alone.

There was silence, neither of them knowing what to say. 

Then suddenly Aziraphale just smiled and said softly, "Happy birthday."

Crowley grunted and replied, "If one more person comes and says that to me tonight, I'll kill them."

Aziraphale looked apologetic and stepped back a little in surrender.

Crowley sighed and sheepishly replied, "Sorry for the reaction, I know it's no big deal. Just another year. I guess I'm not really in the mood to party."

Aziraphale replied, "Me neither, actually."

Crowley raised an eyebrow and asked, "Then what are you doing here?" 

Aziraphale hesitated and replied, sitting down on the steps next to Crowley, "I was hoping... to meet someone."

"Who?" 

"Someone Furfur told me about."

Crowley hummed and said, "Oh, I see, like a reunion?"

Aziraphale chuckled, "Something like that."

"Then what are you waiting for?"

Aziraphale sighed and replied, "Trying to find some courage."

Crowley smiled, "I understand. Better than you think." 

He wrapped his arms around himself, feeling the chill of the night, and asked, "So you're the one who's going to find us a house on the lake, right?"

Aziraphale replied in a confident voice, "Yes, I will.

Crowley was a little taken aback by the certainty of his answer and asked curiously, "Are you a real estate agent?

Aziraphale laughed softly and replied, "Me? No! Absolutely not. But I do have a lake house."

Crowley looked genuinely surprised now, and Aziraphale spontaneously added, "And you'll be renting it when I move out."

Realizing his mistake, he coughed and pulled himself together, "I mean, you could. If you want."

Crowley, finding the other man a bit odd, asked, "When are you moving out?"

Aziraphale replied, "I'm not sure. I guess when you get your degree in astronomy?"

Crowley gave him a puzzled look.

"How do you know?"

Aziraphale wanted to punch himself in the head, he really wasn't good at lying, so he tried to make something up, "Furfur said you were in college and that's what you were studying."

He paused and the silence was awkward.

Crowley looked truly puzzled, and Aziraphale felt like he'd lost the thread of the conversation, if there was one.

Then Crowley asked him, "What makes you think I or we would like it? How can you be sure?"

Aziraphale replied earnestly, "You'll like it. "

Jumping from pillar to post, Crowley asked, "Can you swim? "

Aziraphale replied, a little surprised, not seeing what the other man was getting at, "Sure, I took lessons when I was a kid. At least my father gave me lessons." 

Crowley shook his head and laughed before saying, "No, I mean, can you swim in the lake from your house?"

"Oh."

Aziraphale laughed with Crowley at his misunderstanding and replied, "Uh, no. We can't do that. It's an inconvenience. There's no path to the water."

"That's too bad."

Aziraphale nodded before adding, "Actually, I thought.... You'd have to see it, but since I've been there, I've had the idea that I could change it. Nothing major. But a few new elements could really change the house. A patio out back overlooking the lake. And stairs..." 

Aziraphale paused, embarrassed by his enthusiasm when Crowley shouldn't have seen the house.

But Crowley continued his sentence, "Stairs down to the water? "

Aziraphale nodded eagerly, "Yes. That's it, a gentle downward curve.... That way we can walk out the back door and down to the lake whenever we feel like it."   

"That sounds really nice. In fact, I think I might like it."

Then he turned his head toward the house, where the party was still in full swing, and sighed, "It's pretty late. Shouldn't you be getting back inside? If you want to find the woman of your dreams tonight?"

Aziraphale replied with a wink, "Actually, that would be the man of my dreams."

"Oh..."

"Surprised?"

"Oh no, not really, it's always nice to know that I'm not the only one swinging for the other side or a little bit of both."

Then Crowley gave him a teasing nudge on the shoulder and Aziraphale chuckled in response before adding, "To answer your question, I'm not interested in finding the man of my dreams, I'm much better off here."

Crowley blushed slightly at the implication of Aziraphale's words.

Aziraphale then asked him gently, "Crowley, have you read Persuasion by Jane Austen?"

Crowley gasped slightly and replied in surprise, "It's my favorite book. Why?"

"I have a friend who likes it."

Crowley replied with a half-smile, "Your friend has good taste."

"Yes, he has good taste." Aziraphale replied, a mischievous gleam in her eyes, before adding, "I've been meaning to read it. Could you tell me about it?"

Crowley paused for a moment and thought before answering. He wrapped his hands around his knees and began to speak, resting his chin on his knees, "It's about... waiting. These two people meet. They almost fall in love, but it's not the right time and they have to go their separate ways. Then, years later, they meet again. They have another chance. But they don't know if too much time has passed, if they've waited too long, if it's too late for things to work out.” 

Aziraphale replied quietly, "That sounds sad."

Crowley shook his head and replied, "Oh, no, it's not. Not at the end. I wouldn't have read it, I hate books that don't have happy endings. I'll tell you a secret, I don't look like it, but I'm a huge fan of romantic comedies, you know."

Aziraphale winked at him and whispered softly, "Thanks for sharing that secret with me. I swear I won't tell anyone."

They sat quite close together, thighs touching, and Crowley straightened a little before turning his head toward Aziraphale, not seeing that the other man had also moved his face closer.

They stared at each other in silence for a long moment before leaning towards each other until their lips met.

They kissed for a long time, forgetting everything around them. 

Crowley felt the sense of suffocation suddenly vanish, and Aziraphale felt he was where he belonged, both of them experiencing an incredible sense of adequacy, of harmony, at that very moment.

After a moment, they parted to catch their breath and Crowley moved back, saying hesitantly in a hoarse voice, "I don't know why I did it."

Aziraphale raised his hand and gently stroked his cheek, "We both did this, not just you, listen Crowley, there's something I need to confess to you, I..."

He was interrupted by the door opening behind them and they quickly separated before standing up at the same time, facing Arthur and Furfur.

There was an awkward silence until Crowley decided to break it, "Oh, Furfur, hi. Uh, Aziraphale was just telling me about his lake house. It sounds really great."

Furfur, his face set like stone, replied in an icy voice, "Great."

Crowley turned to Aziraphale and continued, "We're, uh, definitely interested. "

Aziraphale nodded and replied, "Good. I'll be in touch." He stared at Crowley for a few seconds, then whispered, looking at the ground, "I promise."

Arthur, his gaze dark, intervened, holding out his coat, "Aziraphale. It's late."

Aziraphale reluctantly followed, taking one last look at Crowley before heading to his Beetle.

The ride home was deathly quiet, and he dropped Arthur off in front of his house. As he closed the car door, the carpet seller said bitterly, "You know, if you didn't want to have anything to do with me, Aziraphale, you should have told me. I know I'm intrusive, but you never say anything because you never want to hurt people. But not saying anything can hurt too, you know".

Aziraphale now felt bad that he had really hurt Arthur's feelings, and he was really sorry, because even though he didn't want anything to do with him romantically, Arthur didn't deserve to be treated like that.

He said sheepishly, "Arthur, I'm really sorry. I... I'm not very good at this. I really like you as a... friend, but I don't want to go any further. I... I'm in love with someone else."

As he said it out loud, he realized his own feelings for the first time, and he knew in that moment that it was true.

He was in love with Crowley.

Arthur noticed Aziraphale's realization and his face softened a little as he replied, "It's going to take me a little while, but don't stop coming to the store or talking to me because of it, okay? I like you as a friend too, not just as a lover. I don't want to lose our friendship. So I'm probably going to give you a hard time for the next few days, but that's okay. We will be fine."

Aziraphale nodded, touched by Arthur's kindness and promising to treat his friend better, "I... I don't deserve it, but thank you. "

Arthur said nothing, closing the car door gently and heading home.

Aziraphale drove to the lake house, lost in thought, and was surprised to see the mailbox flag up.

He opened it and grabbed the note inside.

Oh, my God. It was you. 

I remember you. 

Why didn't you tell me who you were? 

I'm waiting by the box, I know you're home at this time because I remember what time you left Furfur's house. 

So you can answer me now. 

Please do.

And once again started two years apart, another conversation, punctuated by the movement of the little flag.

A: You would have thought I was crazy.

C: But I liked you. There was something between us. This was our chance. 

You should have told me.

A: What about your boyfriend?

C: What about yours?

A: He's not my boyfriend!

C:Well, he's not my boyfriend anymore!

A:He was then! I mean he is now. 

C:Your "now", not mine!  And maybe this "now" would be different if you'd said something then. Maybe now would have come earlier, or maybe now would be our now, not just my now, you know?

A: No! I don't know!

Crowley's apartment - 2024

Crowley reread their conversation, grumbled in frustration, crumpled up the letter, and threw it across the room in exasperation. 

A missed opportunity. 

Harry whirled around his feet and rubbed his legs as if to comfort him.

Lake house 2022

Aziraphale, equally frustrated by Crowley's lack of response, threw down his pencil and stomped toward the house. 

Once inside, he slumped back in his armchair, sighing and gazing thoughtfully out the bay window as Harry lay down and rested his head on his feet, sensing his owner's distress.

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Ineffable Husbands masterlist : here

[bangtannism]

this space is filled with jm solos and people who give too much thought to jm solo narratives

which is why i'm confused that jk biased jkkers (as that anon said even ones that are critical and weird towards jimin) were also upset with the way jk was acting. if it was just jm biased jkkers and solos, i could see it as people using jk for a ship and not liking/supporting him if he steps out of that "perfect boyfriend" and "jm's caretaker" narrative that isn't true or at least isn't ALL he is, but JK BIASED twisting his intentions and actions? that's just crazy....

idk if it's people now seeing jikook (and more so jk) outside of edits and fics or just taekook interacting, but it needs to stop before people become even worse jk (and tae/taekook) antis

i'd love to look at the jikook tag after a ays episode without being made to feel like i'm insane or "supporting bullying and abuse" 😭

there's a few things going on here.

like i mentioned, jm solo narratives permeate this part of fandom. it sucks, but it is what it is, and unfortunately these people tend to flock together, creating an echo chamber that can look to those outside of it as a popular opinion or consensus. the infantilizing of jm is not only maddening, but deeply disrespectful, and if these people really loved him, they wouldn't be doing it.

people are far too impressionable. this goes hand in hand with the first point, but people are swayed extremely easily and the more they see the same sort of opinion, the more they convince themself that the opinion is right. when ays episode 1 first dropped, the first few hours were peaceful and it was clear that the majority of people came away with a positive feeling. once a couple of negative opinions got posted, people started to latch onto that negativity, letting other people's feelings tarnish their experience, and soon it was all over the tag. jk was being weird, distant, uncaring, mean, etc.

the seedier people in this fandom feel vindicated whenever someone says some nasty opinion about a member/ship they dislike and it prompts them to get louder. think about how much more outspoken bigots get when they think they're around like minded people. every single time a shitty take gets posted, be that an original post or an anon message, more people feel that it's okay to also be shitty. this happened bad when tae was announced to be joining jkk in jeju. the tae antis were suddenly all over the damn tag like cockroaches. 🥾🪳

i do think there is a lot of people who are being forced to contend with the fact that jkk are not story book characters living a sacharrine sweet perfect fantasy life where all they do is cuddle and sing each other's praises. sorry to break it to these people (i'm not), but jm and jk are very real people who are a lot more complex than that. they are going to tease and joke and complain and argue and all the rest of the stuff that every other person does. they are also not going to be in the same mood 24/7 and that too is going to affect how they behave and interact. there is nothing concerning about how jkk (or vmk) have interacted on ays so far, let alone something that constitutes the label of abuse. that accusation actually pissed me off beyond belief, because abuse isn't a fucking term to throw around over someone being jokingly sprayed with water.

my best advice to anyone at this point is to use that block button freely and curate a good fandom space for yourself and others. and also just to remember that vmk love each other dearly and no amount of sad internet hate is going to change their reality.

[fourmula1]

I'm sure someone has asked before but how did established relationship Maxiel handle Daniel leaving Red Bull? I adore the way you write them ❤️

ohhh how delightful to receive this! I haven't written about them in awhile.

honestly i think it was kind of bad. max was incredibly hurt that daniel was leaving the team, leaving him as a teammate, and ultimately figured that daniel wanted to leave him as a boyfriend also. how could daniel still want to be romantically involved if he was leaving the team? leaving the team because of max?

daniel tried to explain that he didn't want to break up but he couldn't be with red bull anymore professionally because he had other goals and dreams. it was hard and messy for daniel, too, because he loves max the person, but max the teammate made things hard.

i think they probably took some time apart; max had a really hard time reconciling the idea that daniel could still love him but not want to be teammates. in his mind he couldn't get past that. how could daniel leave red bull because of him, but still want to be in a relationship?

i'd say it wasn't miscommunication because daniel tried to be as clear as he could with his intentions. he loves max. wants to be with max, still wants to go home with max every day. but max really couldn't separate his personal life from his work life. he's still so young and has growing and maturing to do, and the first few days and nights after daniel telling max what he was doing were really hard. lots of arguing, and talking into the night, and lots of crying on both parts, and max being unable to understand or accept that they could still be together through this.

daniel went back to his apartment. he never officially moved out of his place and into max's but one day he'd just... stopped going home. now being 'home' feels foreign because there's no max, no cats, just cold empty loneliness.

they never truly broke up or had that 'this is over' conversation but they spent a few weeks apart over summer break, trying to pretend to their friends like they weren't absolutely miserable, and being unable to tell their friends and families why. they're not really out to anyone but their trainers, who were really in the need to know category.

daniel's first year at renault was rough on both him and max relationship-wise. during summer break they could pretend everything was mostly the same, and they agreed to try to work through it and be together through the season. max was trying his best but he was still sad, still hurt, still feeling such conflict inside about how he could feel that daniel loves him but also believe that somehow he must not if he left red bull. it's always been hard for max to separate work and personal life, because driving has been his life for all of it.

i think ups and downs for that first year were common. times where they'd agreed to be together and get back to their lives together, and times where max's confidence was just shaken. he'd tried so, so hard to be brave and make his feelings known to daniel in the first place. he'd made his first move when he was just barely nineteen and been rejected spectacularly; embarrassed and heartbroken, but determined nonetheless. he'd waited for daniel to be okay with their age difference. pretended everything was cool for an entire year until he was twenty and daniel couldn't argue he was a kid, anymore. he'd waited, and tried so hard to be chill. he'd never committed himself like this to anything but racing, before. daniel had been it for him. two years together and he'd never so much as glanced at another man - devoted and in love and obsessed with daniel.

it devastated max to have daniel go to another team, and not be together all the time anymore. what if daniel met someone else? what if daniel realized he was wasting his time with max - too young, too focused, too obsessed with being the best, too immature. what if he found someone else, more his age, more exciting, interested in more things than racing. then what?

so. yeah. that first year was rough. max had to work hard on his own confidence in their relationship. it wasn't that he didn't trust daniel, it was mostly that he worried daniel would realize max wasn't all that special. he had to work hard on understanding that daniel could, and did, still love max despite not wanting to be on the same team anymore.

it wasn't easy and they had lots of fights, and tears, and hard talks, but i think when 2020 hit that made them really have to sort it out for good. lockdowns and shutdowns meant nothing but time together to work it out.

and they did! it might have taken a year of ups and downs, back and forth, together and apart at times, but they slowly got there. were committed to each other. and max figured it out. he still never wanted daniel to leave red bull. he still wishes daniel hadn't. but max is slowly learning that work and life don't have to be the same thing. he's learning.

it'll be six years for them this fall. six years. nearly a quarter of max's life. they survived 2019. they'll survive anything.

[astorythatwritesitself]

For Adrian/Thane!

❤️ Who is the more romantic one? Do they wish their partner was more romantic?

💐 What’s their favorite “domestic bliss” moment? Do they cook/clean together? Do they like to go out shopping together?

💜 How do they silently show love or affection towards the other?

And @aceghosts

❤️ Who is the more romantic one? Do they wish their partner was more romantic?

Tough call, because they're both sentimental romantic dorks xD Like, outwardly? Half the Normandy crew's losing their shit (out of earshot ofc) that the scary assassin is the sort of sap who memorizes a favorite drink or will leave flowers, most of them would say Thane is the more... obviously romantic one. Thane would not necessarily disagree, but would deeply argue that nearly tearing oneself apart at the molecular level to avenge his dead wife puts at least a few points Adrian's way. (As does the poetry and music...)

In any case: they're both quite content with what the other has to offer, as is everyone else around them because anything more would be insufferable :D

💐 What’s their favorite “domestic bliss” moment? Do they cook/clean together? Do they like to go out shopping together?

Differs! Adrian would absolutely say cooking: Like. She has, historically, managed to fuck up the likes of MREs, so getting to advance to 'can grill a cheese without setting off smoke alarms' is one of those delightful little milestones that becomes even better when it's shared with her boyfriend, y'know? But beyond that... it's the sort of domestic moment Thane thought he'd never have again, and the sort Adrian never even contemplated getting to really have. The warmth as things cook, the scent and taste of the ingredients, catching up on the day or singing or just working in companionable silence is... so far removed from so much of the rest of their lives. For Thane, it's a second chance and a return to what he loved, but for Adrian... it kind of becomes a major distinction between two phases of her life, even more so than literally coming back to life lol.

Thane, meanwhile, would be hard-pressed to name anything more specific than 'time together'. He's used to solitude and had pretty much accepted his time with Irikah and Kolyat as a tragic blip in what was meant to be a lonely life. Finding anyone else was never even a consideration let alone a hope- so it's those quiet moments he treasures most, just simply being /together/.

💜 How do they silently show love or affection towards the other?

H a n d s

No but seriously they are so touchy - not much overt, especially in public, but it gets. Obvious lol. Quick touches to the arm or shoulder, linked hands. (And one that... Thane didn't quite consciously pick up on doing, Adrian straight up did not catch, but /so many other people did/ and it Sparked Some Rumors: Thane would kind of keep positioning himself just behind & beside Shepard in sort of a bodyguard way more than general squadmate follow lol.)

💛 What are their favorite activites to do together?

Cooking (particularly in the AU take on 3), reading, biotic sparring & shooting are definitely up there. I also imagine, in the 'congrats living is harder than dying' AU, they take up gardening and just find a lot of contentment in that or like, hiking together - spending time outside in a non-combative way xD

🍿 If they had a movie (or other fiction) couple equivalent, what couple would it be and why?

... yeah i got nothing for this one the tired sleepy is winning and apparently i have never seen a movie or read a book to draw a comparison from xD

🤍 What is their favorite or most admired quality in the other?

For Adrian - Thane's ability to accept things. That he could live through so much tragedy and still like... live, without it eating at him every waking moment; even when he shakes off the passive calm... he's still leagues ahead of her, in being able to face up to a situation as it is and not be shaken half to pieces from fear.

For Thane - Adrian's passion. Even though they met at about her lowest point - she loved so much and so /deeply/ - even if she didn't care for her own life, she cared for everything around her enough to keep trying, instead of simply shutting everything else out.

🍬 Who is their biggest supporter (friend, family, etc)?

Tough call xD Though I feel Chakwas and Mordin would be up there, and as far as my canon goes, were the first to pick up on anything (quite literally in Mordin's case), and were quite supportive - they're the ship doctors and had to deal with Adrian and Thane quite a bit beyond the usual injury patchups, so they got a unique little view of just how positive an effect they had on each other - /and just how much the pining fucked with them/ xD 

[sometimesrosy]

Hello Rosy! I feel a bit ashamed about this. I’m 26 and my partner is 29. We’ve been together for almost 5 years and living together for almost 3. We just bought an apartment with the help of our family, and we’ve still got a lot of things to get done and sort on the house. Now we have to be extremely careful with money, as people in our family won’t be able to help us for a while if the need arises. Before, we never failed any rent of any bill, and we still went out to eat, go to the cinema, buy some stuff we didn’t need, etc. We were already careful, but we could spend a bit without dooming us for next month. However, we have very simple jobs. I have a university degree and worked close to my field for a while, but it was always part time or without a contract. I now have a full time job as a receptionist, which isn’t a dream but makes do with the minimum wage. Partner had a really bad job when we started dating, but he’s been looking for better and better and has been founding them, until he settled where he is now. The pay is slightly higher than mine, but with taxes he brings home less. We’ve talked about getting better jobs and I’ve been sending out CVs, but no one calls me. As for him, he’s content where he is. This is where my shaming comes in: my work colleagues have partners and husbands that work for big industrial companies, which is what our city is filled with. Even if they don’t have good positions there, they are already paid much higher at entry level, but most of those jobs are by shifts. If my partner was willing to work by shifts, which is a massive headache, I realize, he’s make approximately 300€ or even 400€ more. Before, it didn’t bother me so much, but now it does because it really makes a difference. I could apply to those jobs but to those I definitely wouldn’t be called. We’ve argued about this before, he says shifts are out of the question so he can be with me, but I’m frustrated because I can’t find a better job and have been doing side stuff to get some more and neglecting myself. I want to make sure we have enough for rent as I’m scared to death of not being able to pay. I want us to be able to still go out to eat once in a while, I want him to be able to buy his booster cards for a fantasy card game he loves. Eventually he’d like to start a family in a few years, but I’ve told him I’m uncomfortable having kids with the financial instability we’re in. My colleagues have a good life and their kids are “safe” due to the job their partners have. One colleague even comments how her husband doesn’t like his job but he won’t let go of it because it allows him to have the lifestyle he wants, and he feels fulfilled in his free time. Right now my life feels really hollow, I don’t fancy my job but I don’t like where everything else is either. But I don’t want to be selfish to the point of asking my partner to get a more demanding job when he doesn’t want to and when my colleague’s partners do it and don’t like it. How can I get off this mindset?

Capitalism is an insidious game. There's really no way to win, because it's never enough.

Not to mention, just because you have a job that pulls in more money doesn't mean you are 'safe.'

There's no such thing. Stable industries fail. You can be let go at any moment. The things they tell you about what you will get when you reach a certain level of monetary success aren't really true.

Right now, you're comparing yourself to other people who are in different situations. You're a receptionist while they are probably farther along in their careers, right? You're min wage, and they're making more.

I mean, you're lucky. You have a good boyfriend and you have a home that you own. You do have some success and some security but you're not looking at what you have, but what capitalism has made you think you should want. Sure you want to be 'more secure,' but what are you willing to give up to have it? How do you win this game? I don't think the answer is to force your boyfriend to get a different job. You may want to plan for your OWN career to move forward. Where can you go with the credentials you already have? What else do you need to do to move to the next step?

Or the other way to change things is definitely to change your mindset and be thankful for what you have, like I said before, a home a boyfriend, lots of possibility for the future, time to spend together or do cool things.

I think housing can be really expensive and it can be stressful to keep up that financial burden. So how do you lessen that stress? Learn to be zen. Not easy but it does help. Earn more money. Not easy and can be a sacrifice. Spend less money. This actually isn't always that hard although it's definitely a sacrifice and you need to cut out things you are used to. Rent out a room in your apartment or take in a roommate? Sure it's not ideal, but it might help with stress and give you more leeway. Sometimes you need to give up the expensive house although I don't think I suggest that for you, but in the past I've found that getting a cheaper apartment can make things better.

I'm kind of throwing out different possibilities though I don't really have a definitive answer. I spent my 20s and most of my 30s in nyc where rent and cost of living is high and my earning were never a match, so I do understand. I'm also a bit disillusioned with capitalism and the idea that if you work hard you can make it. Because it's a rigged system. So I want to point that out. You might be seeing lots of examples of where it works so you think you should have it too, but what do you have to do to get it?

[amberjazmyn]

take me back (to the night we met)

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - take me back (to the night we met)

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - young misha, crying, flashbacks, grief

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - with some of the lyrics of lord huron's 'the night we met', we see misha remember the day he lost the love of his life in car accident and wishing he could go back to the night they first met. 

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - this is an old one-shot i wrote years ago but i wanna rewrite it as i am literally struggling atm with ideas. 

masterlist

- - - 

twelve months juliannah, remind me please why you got into that car...

i shudder as i rock back and forth subconsciously as i sit up in my bed. it was the same dream every single night. it's been a year since my girlfriend, juliannah, passed way due to a car crash and it was taking over my life. i couldn't even sleep or do anything without her being right there at the forefront of every single thought and feeling i had. there were days i got mad and there were days where i was sad and couldn't do anything but cry. but, today, it seemed as though i was mad because it felt like i didn't deserve to lose my girlfriend and that my girlfriend didn't deserve to die that day. it was actually her birthday today, that's why i'm probably so sad and angry because she's no longer here to celebrate it anymore. 

"...misha, sweetheart, are you awake?" my mom calls out as i hum 

"yes mom, i'm awake!" i grumble as mom sighs before walking into my room

"good. because we have a big day ahead of us, we..." 

"...doing what?" i argue, sitting myself up in my bed as i fluff with my messy bed hair as my mom sighs again

"well, i thought because of what day it is today, that we'd go down to the cemetery to see juliannah and then visit her parents and siblings, see how they're doing and then go out for dinner together..." mom trailed off as i was shocked that mom even remembered juliannah's birthday because before now she has never remembered it 

"...you...you remember juliannah's birthday?" i stammer as mom sighed again with a soft smile as she moved further into my room 

"of course i have. contrary to belief, i have always remembered her birthday, you've just never noticed it and always chalked it up as me forgetting her birthday. i could never forget her birthday, she's family," mom smiled softly, her arms crossing over as tears start to well in my eyes as i smile as well and nod my head 

"thanks mom...for...for remembering..." i stammer out as i try to hold back the tears as mom smiles and nods her head as she sits on my bed next to me 

she grabs my hand and holds it tightly, "...we all miss her, misha but, you can't keep doing this to yourself. this is why i wanted to do this today, on juliannah's birthday so i could force you to leave the house and your bedroom because it's not healthly for you to stay in here and just wilt away to nothingness, misha..." mom also got emotional as this was clearly hurting my mom as well that i was still so devastated after juliannah's death

"...i know mom but what else is there for me to do other than rot in my bed?" i whispered softly as mom smirked as she messed up my hair even more 

"live, misha. that's what juliannah would want you to be doing. so do it, learn how to love life again because you loved it..." mom trailed off as she gave me a kiss to the head and then walked out of my room, expecting that in the next five minutes i'd be out of bed and in a clean outfit for the day

and, i couldn't argue with my mom. she was right. i did love life but that was with juliannah but, i think i could relearn how to love life again without her. then, as i got up out of bed and walked over to my closet, i seemed to forget the framed photo of me and juliannah that i had placed in there as i was overcome with a memory of the both of us and i just froze...

flashback | juliannah's pov

...i giggle as i lay down on the couch in the collins' living room. misha, my boyfriend, was home in boston after doing some tv shows and commericals in los angeles and he and his brother sasha were play fighting before they had decided to move the play fighting over to me. and, their choice of attack was to tickle me. 

"...ow ow, stop!" i squeal as suddenly misha or sasha, i don't even know who it was but, one of the brothers had tickled me too rough which had me squeal out in pain

"shoot, are you okay juliannah?" sasha responds, oh, it was sasha as i giggle softly, sitting up from my previous laying position

"yeah, i'm okay *giggles* don't worry about it sasha," i giggle as i notice that sasha could relax properly after i reassured him that i was alright 

i then go back to lie down and mindlessly scroll through a photo album of baby misha and sasha when i groan involuntarily. i think look up to see that misha had taken his opportunity to straddle me. the photo album chucked to the side as i go up to kiss him before giggling. 

"...y'all are so cute and so lucky that i took the photo on time!" misha and i suddenly hear, turning to our left we see that sasha had taken a photo with the polaroid to capture the moment of misha and i 

"aw, thanks sasha!" i smile as i then push misha off of me slightly as he then proceeds to be dramatic whilst i grab the polaroid from sasha to see the photo he had taken

wasting no time, i stuck the polaroid into the photo album that i was just looking at. sure, the photo wasn't a baby photo but, it was sweet photo of one of the babies in the album. 

present time | misha's pov

i smile as i stare at that specific polaroid that i had framed that juliannah had stuck in the photo album of baby photos of sasha and i all those years ago. it made me feel so much better in knowing that she didn't rip it or throw it away as she had jokingly threatened she would to my mom when she asked about how that photo had even got into the baby photo album. 

"...misha? seriously honey, we're about to leave for the cemetery in like a minute. you sure you're okay?" mom calls out from the entry way of the hallway as i smile to no one and call back out

"oh...yeah..yeah, i'm okay mom. sorry, i'm getting ready now, i won't take too much longer!" i call back out as i feel like my mom knows when i'm lying and bluffing but she didn't question it any further 

and that was because i didn't take much longer to get ready even though i got distracted by the photo frame i had hidden away in my wardrobe purposefully. rushing down the stairs in my washington state collegiate sweater and some nice jeans and sneakers, i met the rest of my family at the door. 

of course, i got looks of worry but i just ignored them because i couldn't have my family knowing just how devastated i still was about my girlfriend's death one year on. sasha kept an eye on me during the drive to the cemetery where juliannah had been laid to rest but i just didn't want to acknowledge it, until he forced me to. 

"...misha, are you sure you're okay? you've been quite this whole trip..." sasha trailed off as i huffed, resting my hand on my chin as my elbow rested on the car window of which i looked out of

"...sasha, leave your brother alone please. if he doesn't want to talk to you, he doesn't have to, alright darling? he'll talk to us when he's ready..." mom then piped up as she looked at sasha through the rear-view mirror as sasha sighed but nodded his head 

respecting that i didn't want to have conversation on the drive and that i'd talk when i was ready, sasha nodded his head and turned it to look out of his window as one sister, danielle was in the front seat and elizabeth was in between sasha and i. we then arrived at the cemetery and straight away, hopping out of the car, i smiled as i recognised one of the people already at juliannah's gravestone. 

it was juliannah's sister helena who i don't think i'd actually seen since juliannah's funeral two weeks after juliannah's death. she was wearing a sweet white dress with juliannah's old red bow in her hair and she looked so happy and alive whereas i was the complete opposite. 

"...helena!" i mumbled as i broke away from my family and ran over to helena who met me halfway between juliannah's grave and the road where mom had parked her car

she smiled and immediately gave me a hug, "misha? what are you doing here?" she wasn't saying that in a bad way i know but it was a good question since i hadn't been here since her funeral and burial 

"oh, mom suggested that because it's juliannah's birthday today that we should come down to visit her and then catch up with you guys at the house and then go out for dinner together..." i trailed off as helena smiled 

"...aw, that's really sweet of your mom, misha! i'm glad you guys are here actually as i'm the only one here and looks like the only one...mom refused, dad's working so it's not really his choice or fault and the other siblings have also said they'd rather celebrate juliannah anywhere but the cemetery so..." helena trailed off as i smirked and nodded my head, understanding why one wouldn't want to be at a cemetery to celebrate a birthday 

"...yeah, understandable but, it's still nice i guess to make an effort to visit..." i trail off as i realise i sound like a total arsehole since i was someone who never really made an effort until been forced to today to make an effort to visit and helena caught that too as she giggled 

"...it is and, i'm glad you did make an effort cause i know it's just as hard for you as it is for the rest of us..." helena trailed off as she held my hand and started to walk the both of us closer to juliannah's gravestone 

i was so scared to actually see the gravestone again but, i was glad i had helena with me as she spoke up again, "...she really loved you, misha. she was obsessed with you, totally obsessed and i think that's why it hurts so much more because she would never get the chance to marry you and have kids with you..." helena sighed as she tilted her head, looking at the photo of her sister that was etched into her marble gravestone 

i became teary-eyed as i stared at the photo myself. she looked so young but that's because she was. she wasn't even in her mid-twenties, she was only twenty-two and she'll always stay as a twenty-two year old for the rest of her life. not getting the chance to grow old anymore because her life was so brutally taken away from her. 

"...i remember her telling me that she wanted to marry me eventually. i just feel bad that i never got to tell her that..." i sniffled as helena held my hand tighter and held me closer as she rested her head on my shoulder 

"...i'm sorry too misha. especially since it's obvious that you're still struggling and then you see me and my family and it looks like we've got our shit all sorted and it makes you feel like utter shit that you're still grieving..." helena looked at me as a tear streamed down my cheek as i nodded my head 

"...it's not just your family, helena. it's mine as well, i mean, they all look put together and happy and then there's me. wearing the same sweater, jeans and sneakers with messy hair and a face that looks like it's been punched over and over again..." i mutter, trailing off as helena just pulls me in for a hug, turning me away from juliannah's gravestone as i just cry 

"...and i'm so sorry we didn't notice you struggle, misha. we should've been there to help you as it's not easy to lose the love of your life this young. and it's not supposed to happen this way, you were supposed to live the rest of your lives together. you were supposed to get married and have children together and i'm so sorry you'll never get that life with juliannah." helena whispered as she held me tightly as i just continued to cry 

and i didn't care if my mom and siblings were watching. i wanted them to see just how hurt i still was over juliannah's death after a year of her being gone. sure, it should make me feel slightly guilty seeing how guilty they are but, at this point, i feel like they deserve to feel bad.  they deserved to know that they were at some fault for why i was still struggling. 

after a while though, my tears finally stopped and we decided that we would leave the cemetery as it was clearly not the smartest idea to stay here any longer. so, because helena was dropped off at the cemetery on her dad's way to work and because we had room in the car, helena came with us in the car as we drove back to her house. we then spent the rest of the day with helena and her family for juliannah's birthday. then, we went out to juliannah's favourite restaurant for dinner and truthfully, it was lovely and it was the best way we could have celebrated juliannah's twenty-third birthday. the only thing that was obviously missing was juliannah.

i am not the only traveller who has not repaid his debt

as we travelled home after dinner with helena and juliannah's family, my heart broke once again as i couldn't help but wish juliannah was still here with us. elizabeth, who sat in the middle seat in the back of the car, held my hand, noticing that i wasn't okay. and i squeezed her hand, telling her thank you and i appreciate what she's doing to help me. ecause i think what helena said at the cemetery really stuck with them and they realised that what they thought was helpful wasn't actually helpful at all. and, it was in that moment that they knew they had to change their tactics and they did. and i was grateful for that because, if it wasn't for helena reading my mind, i don't think i could have told my family at all that what they were doing wasn't actually as helpful as they thought it was. 

i've been searching for a trail to follow again. take me back to the night we met. 

in all honesty, as i walked back up the stairs to my bedroom, seeing all around me how messy it was, and how i was so embarrassed about the fact that i was juliannah's boyfriend. and i say that because i was hiding all of my physical memories of juliannah's. for example, all of our photos and polaroids, they were all hidden away in cupboards and tucked away behind clothes in my wardrobe because i was scared to look at them for the fear i'd cry and unable to stop crying. and in all honesty, at the time, it seemed like a good idea but looking back now, it was the wrong thing to do. who cares if i do cry looking at the photos? it just means that i really did love and care about juliannah. and it meant that i wanted to be taken back to that first night we met. 

a knock was then heard at my door, "...misha?" it was mom as i smiled 

"yeah mom?" i smiled as i turned around to see mom opening my door wider 

"how did it feel returning back to juliannah's gravestone? i'm sorry if it was too much..." mom trailed off as i shook my head and sat on the edge of my bed

"...don't apologise mom. at first, i will admit, it was awful but the moment i saw helena i knew i could relax and that it was all going to be okay..." i trailed off with a smile as mom relaxed and nodded her head

"...that's good well, what are you doing in here?" mom asks as she notices my cupboard and wardrobe was open as i laughed 

"oh, uh, hah, i was just going to bring out all the the things i have of juliannah out of hiding and kind of display them around my room..." i trailed off as mom smiled as she nodded her head 

"...that's a brilliant idea, misha. i'm guessing it was something that helena told you to do?" mom questioned with a certain look on her face as i chuckled 

"what if it was helena's suggestion? she's just telling me her tips as to what helped her and what didn't," i groaned as mom held her hands up and smiled

"i'm not suggesting anything or i'm not saying anything. i'm just glad we saw helena at the cemetery before dinner actually. she seems to know a lot more on how to help you then we do and i'm glad she's suggested for you to look at the things of juliannah's that you still have of her. it's a thing that will help you..." mom trailed off as i spoke up again

"...even if it takes me back to the day we met?" i question as mom sighed and nodded her head 

"even if it takes you back to the day you met, misha," mom nodded her head as i did as well as i found myself suddenly clocking onto juliannah's oversized collegiate sweater 

 and mom noticed it as well as she smiled, "do you want to be left alone, misha?" mom questioned as i gulped the sudden tears that had welled in my eyes and nodded my head

"uh, yes...yes please, thanks mom..." i trailed off, my voice cracking as mom nodded her head

"...alright. i love you always misha," mom whispered as she then left the room without another word and closed my door behind her

after mom left i just cried some more with my back against the wardrobe that i had seen juliannah's college sweater in as i held it and cried into it. it still smelt like juliannah's perfume since this was the sweater she was actually wearing on the day i first met her with this exact scent all over it. and now, i didn't want that scent to disappear even though i knew it eventually would. but before it could do that, i was soaking up all of the smell of my deceased girlfriend since it had felt like forever since i had last smelt the scent. 

and then i can tell myself what the hell am i supposed to do and then i can tell myself not to ride along with you. 

it had been a couple of weeks after juliannah's birthday and seeing helena when i was having an emotional breakdown. the worst one i had had since the day juliannah died. i didn't know what to do so the only thing i could think to do was to take mom's car and drive down to the cemetery. 

i know i looked stupid to the other people in the cemetery since i was wearing my pyjamas but, i was at a loss of what to do without juliannah. so, like a crazy psycho, i started to talk to my girlfriend's gravestone as though it was a conversation and she could respond to me. 

"...juliannah, what...what the hell am i supposed to do without you? i...i don't know what to do anymore..." i sobbed as i fell to my knees, the wilting flowers seemingly following me in a dance as they fold over themselves 

i cry more after i get no response. of course i don't get a response, juliannah's dead and i can't do anything about it. i sit in morbid silence for what felt like hours and it probably was as it had suddenly gotten a lot colder then what it was when i first arrived. but it was peaceful and i liked that it was peaceful because of all the limited times i had been here at juliannah's grave, it had never been this calm. that was until i heard footsteps come up behind me. and i was curious as to who it was as they were getting closer and then i realised it was helena. 

she was wearing one of juliannah's old sweaters and ugg boots with leggings and long white fluffy socks. which was different to the short sleeve plaid pyjamas i was wearing. with her arms crossed and a worried look on her face, she pulled me into a hug. which we stayed in for a while until she felt comfortable in letting me go. 

"...what are you doing here all alone in this weather, misha?" helena asked with worry as i shrugged my shoulders as i wiped my face of the tears i had cried 

"i guess...i guess i'm just confused and want an answer, helena. i don't know what to do anymore i mean, how am i supposed to live without her..." i trailed off as helena smiled and nodded her head as she grabbed my hand and sat the both of us down

"...you just do, misha. that's all you can do at this point and i'm sure juliannah wouldn't like it that you're still so stuck and not able to move on. i mean, i could help you with it and i'm sure she wouldn't mind it..." helena trailed off as she moved closer to my face as i was unsure as to what she was doing

"...what..what do you mean, helena?" i ask, moving my face away as she then realises and she pulls back as well 

"oh...oh my gosh..i am so sorry misha! i didn't...i shouldn't have done that..." helena trailed off as she went to run away but i stopped her, grabbing her hand and pulled her back in 

"...no, tell me helena, what were you going to do?" i questioned as helena sighed and looked at me 

"i...i was going to kiss you, misha...but it...it's okay if you didn't want that or..." okay, did not think she was going to be honest but, i have to give it to her, it made me smile and not because i thought she was joking because i knew she wasn't 

"...what if i was going to say yes..." i whispered as helena's eyes widened, i knew she didn't think i would have said yes to her kissing me, especially at the gravestone of her sister and my girlfriend

but, it was at this moment that helena took her shot and i allowed her too, "...then...can...can i kiss you, misha?" helena whispered as i nodded my head as we moved our faces closer to one another before our lips touched and it felt like sparks were flying in my stomach again 

okay, yes, i know it's kind of weird and inappropriate to kiss the sister of your dead girlfriend only a year after her death but, technically, i didn't initiate it. and besides, juliannah did always joke that if she did die before me and her could get married that helena did have permission to  pursue a relationship with me if she so chose to and she also, juliannah, gave that permission to me as well. so, i think that's what helena was trying to do? we then pulled out of the kiss and we both took in deep breaths after losing our breath during the kiss. 

and helena spoke up first with worry, "was...was that a good kiss? i mean, i've never kissed anyone before and i..." before helena could continue blabbing, i pulled her back in and kissed her again 

i pulled out of the kiss and smirked, "...was that a good kiss?" i teased as helena chuckled in shock and nodded her head speechless 

"yeah...wow...yeah...that...that was a great kiss, misha!" she stammered out as i smiled before i grabbed her hand and walked us back to my car

 since, like the first time we saw each other at the cemetery, helena had been dropped off so, i drove us back to my house. thankfully, it was kind of late so everyone in the house was either asleep or in the loungeroom so, no one battered an eyelid when i came in through the backdoor with helena with me. we then went upstairs to my room and just spent the rest of the night together. we didn't do anything sexual but, there was an element of something romantic there.

i had all and then most of you, some and now none of you

of course i was devastated that juliannah was dead. it'll always be a pain in my chest that'll never properly fade and that was okay. because, whilst i don't have her anymore, there was still a time of my life where i had all and then most of her. and then it was just some of her that i had and then, eventually, i had none of her. but, now, i was with helena and the best thing about being with helena was, i still had juliannah in my life in some strange way. because, helena is juliannah's sister and helena made sure that juliannah was never forgotten and i liked that. 

whilst most people would think it was a little strange that i went from 'one sister to another', we made sure that our relationship and its foundation wasn't bound on the trauma bond of me losing my former girlfriend and helena losing her sister. because, if that was the foundation of our relationship, that's when it would have been weird and a strange thing. i was happy with helena and i think it really showed when i lived in my everyday life to the point that mom, sasha, danielle, elizabeth and helena's family started to recognise it. and, i think it was mom at first that was really rooting for me and helena's relationship because i think she knew that she and i had a profound bond that was more than just two people who had lost the same person. we had a bond that was special and a connection that in all honesty, i think was stronger than the bond that juliannah and i had and that's saying something as the bond i had with juliannah was strong. 

take me back to the night we met. i don't know what i'm supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you. 

but, of course, whilst helena and i had great moments in our relationship that had nothing to do with juliannah, there were still moments where my mind was overwhelmed by smells, photos, and other things that reminded me of juliannah. but, none more so then the night we initially met. and every single time i had those moments of grief, helena would hold me as i would sob and grieve over the loss of juliannah. she wouldn't hate me for it, she wouldn't berate me for it, she'd just sit there alongside me and sometimes even cry with me if the memory was a big one or one that she had been going through as well.

"...ssh, misha. it's okay honey, just breathe," helena tried to calm me down as best as she could as i was distraught 

"no...no it isn't helena! this...this was never meant to happen!" i sob in anger as helena's eyes widened as i then apologise 

"i'm sorry...i...i didn't mean it like that! i just mean..." 

"...i know what you mean, misha. don't apologise for juliannah's death or the fact that we fell in love...don't ever be sorry for being happy again," helena whispered as she wiped my years away and stroked my face as i nodded my head

helena and i then spent the rest of the day going back through our favourite memories of juliannah and it was fantastic. it was so helpful in helping me not only remember juliannah but that ultimately, all that juliannah wanted for me was to be happy. even if it meant i was without her but with her sister instead.

oh, take me back to the night we met.

flashback 

i smiled as i looked across the college hall at the university of chicago. i was so glad i was finally at college and out of high school. because at college, i had a lot more freedom to be the misha i wanted to be. as i was looking around the college hall, i then noticed a really pretty girl who was looking at me.

she walked over to me, saying goodbye to her friends and ran over to me, "...hey, sorry to bother you but, you look familiar, do i know you from somewhere?" the girl asks as i smile in confusion and shake my head 

"hey, umm, you're not bothering me at all but, i'm sorry, i don't think you know me from somewhere..." i trail off as she pouts before smiling as i giggle at her attempt to flirt 

"...damn, i'm sorry. it's just i've seen those eyes before, in my dreams..." she trailed off as she realised just how creepy that sounded as i laughed, appreciating her confidence to continue 

"...i'm sorry, that sounded so creepy...let's just start again...my name is juliannah, what's your name?" juliannah smiles and holds out her hand as i smile and accept the handshake 

"hi juliannah, i'm misha. and, by the way, i have to give you credit for the pun, it was quite a pun to say as the first thing to someone you don't know," i giggle as does juliannah as she shakes her head, still a little bit embarrassed 

"yeah, i mean, i...i wasn't sure what else to say and that was the first thing that came to mind but, it still worked..." juliannah cringed as she laughed which caused me to laugh again as we started to walk around the campus 

"...so, uh, where are you from misha? you don't sound like you're from around here..." juliannah trailed off as i nodded my head 

"...i'm originally from boston so it was a fourteen hour drive for me and my mom for moving day..." i trailed off as juliannah opened her mouth in shock as i nodded my head with a giggle

"...wow, that's so cool! i was born and raised here in chicago so, it was kind of a no-brainer that i'd end up studying here," juliannah shrugged her shoulders as i stared at her and nodded my head 

"i mean, that's great then as it means you don't have to live here in the dorms, right?" i joked as juliannah giggled and shook her head 

"oh, it means i do have to live in the dorms here," juliannah laughed as it was my turn to open my mouth in shock 

"why's that?" i ask as juliannah just smiles as she explains 

"my parents wanted me to have the full college experience which meant also living on campus but allowed me to come home for the weekends if i so choose to," juliannah giggled as i laughed too 

"wow, that's a twist. well, do you plan to go home for the weekends? how far away are you actually from home?" i wondered as juliannah smiled 

"like, a decent two hours away so, it's a nice-ish drive back home," juliannah giggled as she then waved at someone who waved at her as i smiled

"oh, okay, that's not too bad. way better than a fourteen hour cross country drive for me!" i laughed as juliannah nodded her head 

"yeah. way better...anyway, what are you studying misha?" juliannah then asked as i had a textbook hidden as i giggled in embarrassment 

"social theory...not very exciting and more nerdy but, i think i'd enjoy it," i shrugged as juliannah smiled at me as i showed her the textbook 

"that's so cool! i don't think that's nerdy! besides, i'm studying philosphy which sounds more nerdy and a whole less exciting then social theory..." juliannah trailed off as i smiled at her 

"...wow, philosphy? that's so cool, that would be amazing to study than social theory but, we move i guess," i laughed which made juliannah laugh as we just continued talking with one another 

we then found out that we had an elective subject together because i totally forgot that i had a philosphy elective and, it just happened to be the same one as juliannah's. so, we actually ended up spending a lot of time together whilst at college in chicago. 

present time 

helena and i continued to recall our favourite memories of juliannah when she found a photo of me and juliannah. it was the first photo that had been taken of us whilst at college back in the 90s. i giggled as the photo was so old but it was a sweet photo of us as at the time, we weren't even exclusively dating at that point i think. we were just seeing each other with no strings attached. whilst it was a very sweet photo, it also brought back a lot of memories that i genuinely thought i had forgotten. like all the secret sleepovers we'd have in each others dorms since, obviously, the dorms were separated by gender but, during the times we would sneak into each other's dorm rooms, we were never caught. and, this was one of the times that juliannah had snuck into my dorm and it was just a fun night. the polaroid was then pointed at us by one of my roommates and the pose we decided to do was to flick out the rude finger to the camera and, the photo was taken. it was a photo juliannah had kept in her dorm but, i got to see it all the time since we were always in each other's rooms. the best thing was, our roommates never minded as they were also always sneaking in their boyfriends and girlfriends. 

"...that's a really cute photo, misha. when was it taken?" helena asked as she showed me the photo even though i knew what the photo was before even looking at it 

"thanks helena. it was taken in my dorm room at college in chicago. juliannah and i would always sneak into each other's dorm rooms and just hang out together. and one of my roommates had noticed juliannah and i just getting really touchy with each other and took out his polaroid and took a photo of us and, that's the pose we came up with. just a simple rude finger but, the memory of it is what i remember the most i think," i smiled as i tilted my head and looked at it properly and realised just how different we looked then versus what we looked that towards the 'end' of our relationship - we had grown up 

"were you guys dating at this point?" helena questioned as she stared lovingly at her older sister as i smiled 

"not exclusively. we were only still technically in the talking stage at that point with no strings attached but, we always found a way back to each other i guess," i sighed as i too stared lovingly at juliannah and helena was never bothered by it 

"how did you guys even meet? i don't think juliannah ever told me, probably because she didn't want me to fall in love with you at the time *giggles*," helena giggled cheekily as i also laughed and shook my head 

"we met during i think week two of semester one. we just both ended up catching each other's eyes and juliannah walked over to me and just started the conversation...she uh...she actually tried to flirt with me using a pun, it was an awful pun but, i found it funny and it clearly worked..." i trailed off as helena shook her head

"...what pun did she use?" helena was afraid to ask as i giggled and tilted my head as i remembered it clearly 

"she said, 'hey, sorry to bother you but, you look familiar, do i know you from somewhere?' and i responded with that she wasn't bothering me but that i wasn't sure if she did know me from elsewhere and she replied with 'damn, i'm sorry. it's just i've seen those eyes before, in my dreams'..." i trailed off with a small giggle as it made me really miss juliannah as helena softened

"...oh my god, i'm so sorry that that's how you met my sister!" helena joked as i laughed 

"oh, don't worry, she felt so bad afterward and apologised if it sounded creepy. but, i didn't find it creepy at all, i actually found it quite endearing that she had the confidence to come up to someone and have that be the first thing she says to them and i think i told her that as well..." i trailed off as helena and i then just sat in silence as juliannah roamed around our minds and memories for the rest of the day 

when the night was full of terrors and your eyes filled with tears when you had not touched me yet. oh, take me back to the night we met. 

out of nowhere, as helena and i found more photos and memories of juliannah, whether they involved me or not, the last one she found was a very sweet one. and, it was one of the last photos taken of me and juliannah. well, at least the last one on the old polaroid camera before we had to throw it away cause it broke. it wasn't our last ever photo together entirely but the last one on our very old polaroid film camera. it was a photo of juliannah and i kissing, well, almost kissing. this was just after we had finished college so we no longer had to sneak around to each others dorms. this was actually our first apartment that we shared with another couple who we were friends with and had gone to college in chicago with. and our friends had caught juliannah and i being rather cute and decided to take a photo of it on the polaroid but, because of how old it was, it didn't take the photo as we kissed but rather as juliannah was moving into the kiss. but, we didn't do a second try of the photo cause we loved the first version better and because if we tried again, it would have looked forced and it was a great candid moment taken on a broken polaroid camera that was then thrown out shortly after that photo was taken...

flashback

"...misha collins! what are you doing?!" juliannah squeals out as i giggle, i had come up from behind her and picked her up 

"can't a man love on his girlfriend?!" i exasperate as the melodic giggles of my girlfriend fills my ears which makes me instantly happy 

"of course you can! i'm not saying you can't, i just would like better notice of when you're going to pick me up for fuck sake, misha!" juliannah cackles as i couldn't help my own laughter as i held her tightly 

as we giggled, i then had an idea, since i had come at her from behind and picked her up, i turned her around where she was facing me. she then wrapped her legs around my waist and her arms around my throat, her arms resting on my back so she didn't choke me. it was in this moment as she moved in to kiss me that our friends, mikey and sinead who were also a couple, had come home. and of course, because they were so loud, they were ruining me and juliannah's moment together but, we learnt to just ignore them and tune them out when they were loud. 

it was as juliannah moved in to kiss me again that mikey decided to grab the broken old polaroid that i quite honestly needed to throw out and went to take a photo of juliannah and i kissing. and mikey was so excited to finally get a polaroid of us kissing after he had tried the entire time he and sinead have lived with juliannah and i to get one. however, he was still yet to succeed cause it was obvious once he took the photo that it hadn't taken a photo of juliannah and i kissing. which, at this point, was a regular occurence so, it didn't bother us. but, it was kind of funny to see and hear just how upset mikey was that he still couldn't get a polaroid of me and juliannah kissing.

"...did you take the photo mikey? i really need to be put down on the floor so please tell me you got the photo?!" juliannah whines as i can tell she's in pain and honestly, so am i for how long i've held her for 

mikey laughs and nods his head, "yeah i did but, again, it didn't get the kiss like we hoped it did. but, it did get the moment before and it still looks all cute and coupley but, not the kiss..." he trailed off as his voice got more sadder as juliannah and i laughed and rolled our eyes 

i placed juliannah back on the floor as we looked at the polaroid that mikey had taken. i smiled immediately as the photo mikey had taken was such a good photo, even though it wasn't of the kiss like originally wanted. with or without the kiss, this was a polaroid that needed to either be framed or included in the collins family photo album. 

present time

helena stared at the photo of me and juliannah for a little while longer as she smiled. i could tell she felt as though she could visulise the memory of the moment of this photo being taken in the same way i could. even though she wasn't there when the photo was taken and, i could tell it was making helena emotional. 

"...i'm really glad that you and juliannah were together for as long as you were, misha..." helena trailed off as she placed the polaroid back into the photo album that was now resting openly on my bookshelf as i smiled 

"...i'm glad too, helena. i really did love your sister and i know she really loved me too but, don't let that stop you from allowing yourself to believe that i can't love you just because i loved your sister. because, quite frankly, the way i loved juliannah will always be different to the way i love you but that doesn't make me love you any less. if anything, it makes me love you more but in a different, more beautiful way that's only unique to you. if you're worried that i'll be stuck with the memory of juliannah then, let this be the consolation to that thought..." i trailed off as i grabbed helena's head and pushed it gently towards my face and kissed her

she was at first shocked, of course, but quickly broke out of the shock as she then moved into the kiss and became more comfortable. we then ended up falling backwards onto my bed with helena falling on top of me which made us giggle as we just made out with each other, our clothes still on and nothing else sexual. we were still finding our footing in this relationship since it was so new but, it was already so comfortable that i don't think it'd take us that long to get to the nitty gritty of an established relationship. 

i had all and then most of you, some and now none of you. take me back to the night we met. i don't know what i'm supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you. take me back to the night we met 

- - - 

i didn't really want to end it like this with just the lyrics at the end since it was clearly a happy ending with misha and helena, juliannah's sister, being in a relationship but, i wasn't sure how else to end it. i did think about including a new photo that kind of was a coda to misha and juliannah's first photo together with misha and helena's but i didn't do that cause i felt as though it'd come off cheesy but, lemme know if i should add that in or if i should not. 

ok ily bye xx

wc; 7628

[vicjo-sims-stories]

Haru Danielle Feng

Hey, I'm Haru. I'm the youngest daughter of Jillian and Victor. I'm a little high maintenance. Can you blame me? I'm the daughter of a renown actress and politician.

Anyway, I didn't really have anyone to play with growing up cause my siblings were busy being adults or teens or whatever.

I am super into wellness and focused on improving my wellness skills so I can live a peaceful zen life. Ugh. Ok Yuri wants me to talk about "the time I stole her boyfriend". So Dustin kept telling me they were done but he was still living there so I gave him an ultimatum. Obviously the guy chose me, Yuri has no time for him that's why he was so unhappy with her. If y'all really want to know, Dustin and I eloped, against everyone's wishes. But after moving in together in Henford-on-Bagley, things changed and we kept arguing and it just sucked. So I left him and moved to Tartosa by myself.

Yuri, Liam and Brycen keep pestering me about this dumb story like it was so long ago. Like come on, I practically helped my sister and kept from marrying such an annoying ass guy. They're literally still gonna keep talking about it as ghosts. At least Ara only called me a dumb bitch once and never spoke of it again. Donovan is the only one who understands me.

I was living my best life in Tartosa by the water, until my brother Liam kept pressuring me to have a kid when he didn't have one of his own. Annoying ass. So I adopted this little girl from an adoption agency: Samira. Honestly...I didn't want her. I was content with my peaceful life alone in Tartosa. She's a good kid though, never complains, does her chores and does fine in school. I've grown very fond of her as she grew up. One day I received a call from apparently some distant family member? Offering me inheritance of some kind, but the catch was that I'd have to get married within the week or something. I needed money so I went to hunt down a new man, and I thought Samira having a father figure would be nice cause I was tired of doing everything myself. I met Akito around my first house in Tartosa and we clicked right away.

Shortly after getting married we decided to have more kids. Akito was the one who wanted more kids, I was done, but I guess I don't mind fulfilling that for Akito.

I gave birth to twins: Carson and Wilson. When they were born we realized my house was too small so we moved north east of Tartosa on a bigger lot. We rebuilt our house twice and the first time it was built, Carson and Wilson were stuck in their room and the door wasn't working correctly. So none of us could get in to feed them. When we finally got through, CPS came in and took away Carson. I don't know where he is now but I had to continue on raising Wilson and Samira.

I got bored just doing wellness so I took up a new job in the fashion industry. Akito does work for some company or society? (stop it, he's not a criminal) and now Samira is in high school and just joined the cheer team. I grew up in a very privileged and luxurious home and I'm happy that I can continue to live this way and provide the same, if not, better lifestyle for my family. Anyway I expect nothing less than the best.

[sayatumbles]

Jason loves Danny so much, but he can't give up being Red Hood. When he tells Danny this, he says, "I'm sorry, I love you but I can't give up Red Hood." He unintentionally leaves out "being", which would have cleared up the whole misunderstanding

Cut forward to a week later, Bruce just wants his son to be happy again. He's not sure why Jason and Danny broke up- Jason won't talk about it- but he's sure if he can just get them to work together they'll work it out. He calls Phantom in to help on a case in Gotham, saying he believes a ghost is involved. Phantom is a member of Justice League Dark, but he's also mostly retired from the hero buisness. He only comes in for ghosts and world-ending threats. His civilian identity is only known to a select few, Bruce being one.

Bruce pairs up Phantom and Red Hood for a stakeout.

It's rough. Red Hood doesn't understand why Phantom seems so uncomfortable around him, why he seems to dislike and distrust him so much. Sure, they've never met and Jason's reputation isn't the best, but still, this is a bit much. So he pulls Phantom aside to get answers.

"What the hell is up with you? What did I ever do to you?"

Phantom startles. "Oh, sorry, I didn't mean for it to effect our teamwork, it's just a personal thing..."

"A personal thing? That made you hate me."

"No, no, I don't hate you," Danny insists, "Not really. I just- So I had this long term boyfriend, right? And I loved him so much, but then I found out he was cheating on me with his boss and I made him choose. He chose you."

Jason is notably confused. "What? I'm not dating anyone, let alone one of my goons," he argues. "In fact, I just had the love of my life break up with me. I don't know if I'm ever gonna date again, let alone go around stealing boyfriends."

Phantom seems upset by this. "Then how do you explain me finding your coat and helmet in our bedroom? He was always sneaking around with these terrible excuses and I tried not to pry because I love him more than I ever thought I could love anyone, but clearly something was up. I knew what it was when I found your things..."

The whole story was already hitting too close to home for Jason, but this really sealed the deal. There was no way... "Wait, Danny? Danny Fenton?"

Danny blinks, "Yeah? How did you figure me out?"

Jason rips off his helmet, "Because I'm your boyfriend. You thought I was cheating on you? I thought you wanted me to stop being Red Hood."

"Jason?! You're the Red Hood?" Danny is spiraling. "Of course I thought you were cheating on me, you had your boss' clothes. Except they're your clothes. Ancients, I feel so stupid."

"Danny, I would never cheat on you. You never have to worry about that."

"It didn't seem likely, but what else was I supposed to think? Why would I have come to the conclusion that you work as your own assistant?" Danny buries his head in his hands. "I can't believe I broke up with you over a stupid misunderstanding..."

"So," Jason ventures, "You don't care that I'm the Red Hood?"

Danny laughs. "Of course not. I would never stop you from helping others, Jason, no matter what. I know I can be pretty protective, but I would never force you to choose between me and a part of yourself."

Jason digs in his pocket for the little box he's kept with him everywhere he went since he bought it. He knew the perfect opportunity would show.

"If we never had a reason to break up in the first place, then I'd like to ask you something I was putting off for way too long," Jason takes Danny's hands in his own and lowers himself to one knee. Danny's eyes are wide and watery, green in a way Jason had never seen them before but still undoubtedly the eyes of the man he loves. They had so much to talk about now, but it could wait. They had their entire lives together if Danny said yes.

"Daniel Jackson Fenton, will you marry me?"

Ok but does Danny find out about his horrible misunderstanding or does Jason choose and Danny has to realize he was wrong from an outsider pov?

I like the idea of Jason choosing Danny only for Danny to be concerned about Red Hood Vanishing...

Honestly it’s up in the air with me.

My heart says that they should figure out the misunderstanding, but not before some good old heart to heart between close family and friends.

But the angsty route where Jason has to think the needs of the many vs the needs of the few.

That’s some good stuff.

Of course, they would find out later when the ghost kings called upon to help the world.

[woulddieforloki]

Most Sylki fans I met insult Loki and call him fascist but ship them together anyway. Sylvie values freedom and she shouldn't be in relationship with someone like that.

I can't speak for all Sylki fans because I haven't spoken to every Sylki fan, but I'm very interested in which Sylki fans you're meeting, because Loki isn't a fascist. that just? doesn't really make sense? He Who Remains is a fascist. the Time Variance Authority is a fascist organization. I think that's the general consensus among a lot of Sylki fans, and maybe that's where you're getting confused, because Loki did try work with the TVA and he did try to save HWR's life, but he was against everything they stood for. Sylvie was actively fighting the fascist organization far more than Loki was, but that I don't think many people would argue that it makes Loki himself a fascist. It might mean Loki was on the wrong side of things — that depends on who you ask — but Loki was against the TVA's authoritarian regime; he just didn't want cause a multiversal war.

I think there are two main reasons you'll find Sylki fans insulting Loki. The first one is that he's a flawed person, and that's what makes him an interesting character. Some people do try to rationalize everything he's done to paint him in a good light and to act like he's the most selfless person to ever exist, but I personally think it's far more interesting to look at him as a deeply flawed individual who's made mistakes and done bad things for bad reasons, but that he's far more complicated than just "he's a perfect little angel uwu" or "he's pure evil and loves destruction and chaos and death."

And the other main reason you'll see people insult Loki is to strike back at the people insulting Sylvie. The same people who try to defend Loki's every action are often the ones who point out any possible flaw they can find in Sylvie to convince themselves and other antis that he's a perfect little cinnamon roll and that she's a horrible person who deserves nothing but the worst. Sylki fans sometimes like to turn the tables on that. A lot of times, when Sylki fans are elevating Sylvie and talking about Loki's flaws, it's in direct response to that kind of hypocrisy from the antis. We're saying "no, you're wrong about Sylvie; she's better than that," and we're also saying "no, you're wrong about Loki, he's not that perfect." But I don't think there are a lot of Sylki fans out there — and, again, I could be wrong; this is just what I feel like I've seen from the Sylki fans I know, but there are a lot more out there that I've never met — who think that Sylvie is just so much better than Loki. To steal a quote from Supernatural because I'm a cringe individual, they're just two people trying to do their best in a world where it's far too easy to do their worst.

And I think you're kind of twisting Sylvie's goal there at the end of your ask. Sylvie values freedom from the TVA. She wants to be free from the fascist organization that's been tracking her down her whole life; that killed her family and destroyed her world; that's forced her to live her life in the midst of literal apocalypses. But she's also incredibly lonely. She's like a feral cat in a way. She hasn't really been socialized because just talking to people could put her on the TVA's radar. And she thinks for the longest time that she wants to be alone, because that's all she's ever known, but the truth is that she longs for comfort and for companionship. I don't think it's ever more obvious than when she's talking to Loki on the train that she likes people and that she wishes she had her own special someone in whatever form that takes: a boyfriend or girlfriend, a best friend, a mother, the postman, whatever. But she doesn't. And she can't. And it takes her time to admit to herself that she can, that Loki's in the same situation that she is and that she can have him, and that's why it's so heartbreaking to her that they don't feel the same way in the citadel. She'd thought she found someone to see this through to the end with, and someone to spend her life with after, and she didn't.

[gyuphorias]

" i just wanted to say thank you for protecting me " with seokmin or junhui ? <3

ooo i need to kiss seokmin so bad my little boyfriend <3

you don't go out drinking with seokmin and his friends often. sometimes it's because of work, sometimes because you're just too exhausted to deal with everyone's drunken selves. seokmin, of course, being the sweet boyfriend he is, has always understood and has never pressed you on going out when you don't feel like it.

but with a new promotion under your belt after working your ass off for months, including working overtime and voluntarily taking classes to further your skills, seokmin insists on celebrating. you're tired, but you haven't really spent time with your boyfriend or your shared friends in a while. plus, you do think you deserve to celebrate your achievements, so you agree.

the bar is overwhelmingly loud, music and ambient conversation rising and ebbing in tandem: loud music leads to louder talking leads to even louder music. as such, you're huddled at a table with seokmin and the several friends from the group who had agreed to come celebrate with you. you're all leaning into the table and talking; someone who lives in books would think you're planning a heist of literary proportions (in reality, wonwoo asked a debate night-style question and now jeonghan and soonyoung are arguing heatedly over their drinks).

but as alcohol takes an ever-strengthening hold, you can feel yourself getting drowsy, your social battery running dangerously low as soonyoung, sitting right and pressing tightly against your shoulder, jostles you as he (almost violently) makes his case to jeonghan, who sits entirely opposite the table as you two.

it's been a good couple of hours since your group strolled into the bar and you've all certainly gotten your coverage charge's worth, lots of drinks and laughs and good times had. out of the group, you can tell things are winding down. like you, wonwoo is beginning to look exhausted, leaning heavily into mingyu's shoulder, already sleepy eyes looking even sleepier. even mingyu, who is usually the moodmaker and designated energizer, is starting to look like he's ready to crash.

seungcheol, always the one to pick up on the group moods, begins to quell the heated debate between his two friends. as they're finally chilling out and coming up with a compromise to the question previously posed, seokmin leans into you from your left, hunching over harshly to rest his chin on your shoulder.

"home?" he questions simply and when you turn your head to look at him, his eyes are glassy and tired, but the smile on his face is soft and making his entire face glow in the dim lighting of the bar. he is more out of it than you are.

you nod and lean your head to bump your foreheads together gently. "please?"

within minutes, after bidding a goodnight to your friends and accepting their congratulations for the millionth time tonight, you and seokmin step into the chill of the night. the cold is biting at your skin through your sweater and you shiver involuntarily, your trembling only ceasing when seokmin slips his hand into yours and smiles.

with your apartment not far away, you don't feel the need to call a taxi. thus, you start your trek through a midnight seoul, your hands swinging between the two of you. since you've caught him up in all the goings-on in your life recently, it's seokmin's turn.

as you stroll, you realize you could listen to and watch him talk forever. he's staring straight ahead, gesticulating wildly (a habit of his exacerbated by his drunkeness) as he speaks. he's so passionate about the topic he's telling you all about. even from his side profile, you can see the way his eyes are sparkling and it's the cutest thing ever.

you're so lost in admiring him that you don't notice the curb, the crosswalk, the fact that you're just about to walk into oncoming traffic until seokmin is yanking you back onto the sidewalk, capturing you in his arms and caging you against his chest. a car horn blares loudly as it passes, no doubt an angry driver who just about had a car accident on their hands.

"are you okay?" seokmin asks immediately, turning you to face him so that he can check for injuries, even though you hadn't even come close to falling. "i didn't hurt you, did i?"

in a complete daze, you shake your head stupidly as you look up at him. when he's certain that you're safe and sound, you continue your walk home. you're not sure why your in such a trance; sure, you just about got into a life-altering accident, but there's another feeling lingering in your mind.

it's not until you're home and brushing your teeth that you realize what it is: seokmin has never really been like that before. in your two years of being together, he's been protective and doting like that, but never so worried. for some reason, it has never fully come to you that he cares that deeply about your safety and well-being. he's freaked out over things like accidentally cutting yourself with a knife or tripping up the stairs, but you have never seen him so concerned.

as you're sliding into bed, you look over at your boyfriend. he's laying on his back, eyes closed, and the way he's drawing shallower breaths, you can tell he's about to fall asleep. you turn out the light and then snuggle up next to him, wedging yourself against him and resting your head on his chest, your arm over his torso. he adjusts accordingly, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and kissing your forehead.

"seok?" you ask quietly, hand tracing short lines across his knit sweater-clad sweater.

he hums in response.

"just wanted to say... thank you... for protecting me earlier," you say, voice soft and still a little drenched in alcohol.

he reels his head back to look at you, his eyes wide and tired. "pro..tecting...? oh, you mean the car."

it's clear to you that he really did get drunker than you because usually, his memory is impeccable. everything about him reads exhausted and it's a reminder that he is just as susceptible to his friends draining his social battery as you are. paired with his job, there really is no surprise that he's so sleepy, he's forgetting things.

"baby, i'll always protect you," he replies softly, tightening his arm around you. "just wanna make sure you're always safe. kinda scared me earlier when you almost walked into the street."

"sorry," you answer bashfully, nuzzling your face into his sweater. "was really distracted."

you can feel him chuckle, his chest reverberating under your cheek. his hand rubs and flexes against your shoulder.

"it's okay, my love. just don't worry me like that again. i don't know what i'd do if something happened to you."

you nod and snuggle impossibly closer, smiling against him. you've never once doubted for a second that he cares about you; he's always made it abundantly clear that he will always prioritize your health. the extent of his care for your safety, though, has never been displayed quite to this level. it is nice knowing that someone loves you that deeply.

of course, you won't go out of your way to put yourself in life-threatening situations, but at least you know that if you do end up in one, as long as seokmin's by your side, he'll save you.

[colossal-fallout]

Coming right up ❤️

Fem!Reader X Eren

Warnings: 18+ NSFW smut / slight angst / cheating

Eren's brooding eyes snap towards his roomates bedroom door when he hears the muffled voices of you and your boyfriend. Your voices weren't quite yells - yet. But it was abundantly clear that there was almost certainly a storm brewing. Ignoring it, he returns his emerald greens onto the manga book he was reading, silently telling himself not to pry. This would be the fourth argument you two had this week - and it was only Wednesday. Over the course of the month...? He'd lost count.

He pushed away the irritation that began to claw under his skin. He'd always secretly had a thing for you and he seen that his douche bag of a roommate did not treat you as well as he should.

He leasuirely turns the page, his usual calm exterior hiding his frustration as sure enough, the volume of your voices begin to rise through the wood of the door.

He tries to ignore it, focusing on the magnificent art work that brought his pages to life. But he couldn't help but wonder in the back of his mind how much happier you'd be if you just left his ass and got together with himself.

When he hears your voice crack and an uncontrolled sob break through your lips, he leaps up with a sigh, scratching the back of his head and heading into his room. Hopefully by the time he has a shower and is dressed, the two of you would have hashed it out and made up.

Fat chance.

"You don't even have sex with me anymore..." He hears you cry tragically as he passes by the door to his room. "Do you think I'm ugly now...? I'm desperate here!"

His eyes widen and hands form into a fist, his entire body freezing at the sound of you sobbing those words.

Are you - no. Is he for real?! You're gorgeous. You're kind. Funny. Caring. Strong... What the fuck is wrong with him?!

He shakes his chestnut brown head and storms into his room, unintentionally slamming his door a lot louder than he'd meant to.

Eren takes his time in the shower - allowing the steam and hot water to relax him and refocus his mind. Really, it had nothing to do with him.

So why couldn't he shake you out of his mind?

He was relieved when he eventually got out, dried and dressed and he no longer heard the yelling. His eyes scanned the alarm clock next to his bed.

21:43

He'd been in the shower for a little over an hour. The warm water soaking into his skin and making it feel that extra bit soft. With a lazy yawn, he strolls to his door to pick up his book from the living room. He's surprised to see you sitting on the couch, alone reading his manga.

"Hey." He sounds, eyes wide as your beautiful form is melted onto the sofa.

"Oh, hey." You sit up nervously, placing his book down. "Sorry Eren, is this yours?"

"Where is he?" Eren asks, walking into the room.

"...I don't know." You mutter.

He could see that spark behind your eyes becoming extinguished due to that Jack ass and he wasn't going to just stand by and watch that happen.

He places his hands in this trouser pockets, leaning against the wall. His man bun a lot more loose than usual from his freshly washed hair; a couple of strands falling over his handsome face.

"You know... I think you're gorgeous." He admits without a care in the world.

You blink in surprise, not really knowing what to say. "I... Uh... Thank you, Eren. It means a lot."

"I know." He shrugs, slinking over to you and plonking himself down next to you, the weight of him making you sink slightly. "I couldn't help but hear you arguing. If you ask me..." He turns his head to look at you - his dark smouldering eyes peircing your very being. "He's an idiot."

Your cheeks begin to burn as you glance away shyly, your confidence well and truly in the back pocket of your boyfriend's jeans - wherever they may be or who's floor they're on right now.

He returns his gaze ahead, arms splaying over the back of the couch, his left arm over your shoulders but not touching you.

"I'm sorry you heard us arguing." You whisper.

"Doesn't bother me." He shrugs. "What bothers me is the burning question of why you're even still with him."

You don't answer. You don't have an answer. It's a question you'd asked yourself all too often.

Whatever shower gel Eren uses rolls off him into your nose. A mixture of spiced sandalwood with a hint of teatree maybe? Whatever it was, it combined with the warmth of his skin, blanketing you with such compassion you could almost feel his increased heart rate as his eyes slyly drink you in.

"I heard other things, too." He mutters, suddenly leaning his face close to yours with a smirk. "I can help you, if you want."

"H-help me?" You heart palpitates and butterflies flutter within you, his demeanor totally changing into something you'd never seen from him before.

"I can make you feel good." He explains with such simplicity, you were certain he couldn't possibly be taking about what you thought he was.

Your vacant expression forces him to spell it out for you.

With his large hand cupping your face , he brushes his lips against yours his eyes then scanning your orbs for any resistance. All he can see is how startled you are; wanting to kiss him but your conscience holding you back.

"Let me take care of you..." He reiterates, his hand now slowly moving up your thigh. "In more ways than one."

"E-eren..." You breathe, your logical thinking quickly being taken over by your now throbbing libido as this gorgeous man now gently slides his tongue into your mouth, catching your lips tenderly once he was fully inside.

He's beyond elated when you return his affections, your hands quickly finding their way to his hair; your breathing rate quickened yet heavy. His tongue caresses yours, swirling and entwining, his throat buzzing with a low, short moan.

It's a hurried kiss - your hands roaming each others face and hair with quick succession, your inhales and exhales pushing through your nostrils loudly, the both of you quickly becoming flustered.

Whether it were his alpha male DNA coming into play, or he got too fired up (maybe both) he ends up scooping you up with ease and carrying you, bridal style, into his bedroom. His lips never leave yours as he pushes the door closed with his foot behind hiny, reaching around and clicking the lock, before lowering you gently onto the bed.

He crawls over you, his breath heavy and eyes heavy lidded; his mouth finding its way to your neck and grazing it.

"Eren... I can't. It's not right..."

You hear yourself but it didn't feel like it was you saying those words, your body screaming at you to just shut the fuck up.

"I'm just showing you how you should be treated." He breathes, hand now roaming up your shirt. "You're not doing anything. It's all on me."

Your moan that escapes you as he pulls at your nipple pushes him on the verge of crazed lust, his lips returning to yours as he rolls your breast around in his large palm, squeezing and pulling. It had been so long since you'd been touched in this way, your body craved it so badly. You found yourself grinding against his thigh, your kisses now desperate as you tug at his hair.

Somewhere within enjoying his touches and kisses, he'd removed your pants. You weren't sure when, just one moment they were there, the next your legs were bare as his hand cups your crotch, your wetness soaking through the material of your panties.

"Eren..." You gasp, back arching at his warm skin - even through the material it felt so good.

His fingers hastily push them to the side with a groan, wanting nothing more than to have you fully. But he knew that wouldn't be possible. Not with the thought of him looming over you like a shadow.

You cry out a lot louder than expected when his long finger slides into you, followed by a second, his thumb circling your external magic spot as he continued to nuzzle into your neck; kissing, whispering and biting.

"Do my fingers feel good inside you?"

You nod, your grip on the sheets tightening, your legs tensing and releasing as he begins to wiggle his digits.

He'd spent many-a-night imagining you under him like this. His long cock was solid, and you could feel his yearning for you pressing tightly against your thigh.

Your body is on fire as he works you, picking up speed as your insides suck him in, caressing him and begging for more.

"You're so fucking gorgeous..." He hums, now looking down into your eyes. "Fuck... You've got me so hard."

You whine loudly at his words, back arching and nails digging deeper into his matress. Your face is burning, boardering on hysterical as your untouched sex is so lovingly caressed.

"yes, Eren... It's so good..." You sob, your mouth hanging open and your eyes clasping closed. "Ah~ Ah~~!"

"Fuck..." He marvels, watching you squirm at his charity.

"I'm going to... Already..." You warn, feeling suddenly full as the pleasure begins to get too intense.

"yes, cum baby..." He smiles softly yet devishly, his pace getting faster.

Your silent scream confirms your climax, your back springing and your insides clamping down, sprinkling his palm with your water as you swirl right down the drain and into the palm of Eren Yeager.

He watches you in sheer awe as you come undone, unweaving and unravelling at his mercy. Squirming and trembling, your body now under his control during those few seconds of unrestricted ecstasy.

You expected to be riddled with guilt when you'd come back to earth. But strangely you didn't. It felt... Right.

"Do you feel better?" He mutters, his mouth caressing your shoulder.

You nod, speachless.

He removes his fingers reluctantly; placing them on his flat tongue. "You taste good too." His tone has a bitter sting to it, you're perfect, just like he'd always thought.

"Be with me. Leave him." He states. "You deserve so much better. I want to be the one who takes care of you."

You think about it for a moment. It makes so much sense to do so. But well, y/n... Whether you take him up on his offer or not - it's up to you.