#it comes with the caveat that we did have sex and we did intend to get married and i guess thats not fully off the table | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chamerionwrites · 1 year

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i genuinely did not intend for my previous ask to come off as accusatory. i have ASD and have problems conveying and interpreting tone, so if it seemed like i was trying to paint you as something you’re not then i sincerely apologize. you are, however, correct in pointing out that there’s a lot frustration tied to the topic for me, as i’ve time and time again seen people use innocuous-sounding statements about the importance of not being judgmental wrt:kinks as a fig leaf for their habitual pushing of survivors’ boundaries on topics like rape and things like “consent play,” “raceplay,” “ageplay,” etc. as a survivor myself i find much of this stuff extremely triggering, and i’m tired of seeing people whose blogs are plastered with things like simulated SA and CSAM take advantage of others’ good faith when they say things like “don’t judge people for taboo kinks,” knowing that most will assume they mean stuff like vore or inflation or whatever. i’m trying to imply that you are one of those people, but i don’t think people realize how generally positive statements like “don’t judge others’ kinks” can be co-opted by those with harmful intentions.

So first I want to say that it's understandable for these subjects to be emotionally taxing (and yeah, triggering), and also that it's kind of a lot to deal with in the space of a Tumblr post. I'm going to try to be both careful and somewhat concise - and sometimes those things can be read as condescending and curt. I appreciate your clarification, I'm trying to answer sincerely, and it is not my intention to come across as either of those things.

Also, we live in the worst timeline where when people say "CSA" they can mean anything on the gamut from horrible crimes such as actual children being assaulted, to ~horrible crimes~ such as having sex ed books in the library or, you know, gay people existing in public. I'm going to assume that you are neither asking me about irl child abuse nor about some cute picture book where two ladies hold hands. My impression from everything you've said here and in the other ask is that your frustrations are centered around people having kinks or sexual fantasies that have something to do with pain/violence/consent/age/etc, and also artistic depictions of sexual violence and/or of underaged characters in sexual situations (again, I'm not certain how broadly you define this; I've seen people object vehemently to coming of age novels that include teenagers having sex, or to eroticized fan art of grown-up versions of young characters). If that general outline of your concerns is off-base somehow, I apologize for misunderstanding.

With those caveats out of the way, there are basically three points I want to touch on:

Point #1 is that all kinds of good/true/useful statements can be and often are co-opted by people with harmful ideas and/or intentions, and that this is not a reflection on the validity of the original statement. It's unsettlingly common for people to advance violently racist arguments about population control on the basis that climate change is happening. This doesn't mean that climate change isn't happening, or that anybody who says "climate change is happening" is responsible for every conceivable way that someone could twist that statement for their own ends. Russian war propaganda (and I am singling out Russia because it's a very current example, but arguments in this vein are a staple of war propaganda generally) says that because neo-nazis exist and are bad (true!), invading Ukraine is good (no). Obviously I'm sketching very quick and broad outlines here because neither of those topics is what we're actually discussing, but I think you can see the point I'm making. It's totally understandable to be frustrated when people twist good arguments for bad ends, but that's not a reason to reject those arguments out of hand.

Point #2 is that "triggering" is a morally neutral descriptor. A lot of people - for fairly obvious and sympathetic reasons - find this hard to swallow. But if you reflect on specific scenarios it comes into focus pretty quickly; someone who was badly bitten by a neighbor's pet may find dogs triggering, but this doesn't make you a bad person for posting pictures of your puppy. A lot of people are triggered by really mundane and innocuous things that - at least to a casual observer - have no clear connection to the trauma itself. Plenty of people are triggered by stuff that's not just innocuous but generally agreed upon to be nice: birthdays, a kiss on the forehead, the smell of a certain food cooking. That's just how trauma works. We put trigger warnings on things so that people can make informed decisions about whether to avoid them or to brace themselves, not to mark those things as inherently immoral and tainted.

What I'm driving at here is that people can have every valid reason for being upset by something without it automatically following that the thing which upset them shouldn't exist. It is 100% understandable for survivors (or anyone else for that matter) to be disturbed by a rape scene in a film/show/book/whatever. That doesn't mean that it's morally wrong to write a rape scene; art is a means of discussing the human experience, some people writing those scenes have experienced rape, and all of us live with rape culture and have thoughts and emotions and experiences pertaining to it. That also doesn't mean that tasteless or exploitative or just plain bad art does not exist, or cannot be criticized as such. It means these things have to be judged on a case by case basis - how art handles sensitive subjects, not just the fact that it chooses to explore them - and that sometimes people are going to disagree about those judgments. That in itself can be scary and upsetting to come to terms with, and I get it. It's comforting to have hard and fast rules. It is so much easier to just say "nobody should ever write a rape scene" and be done with it. But imo that would hurt at least as many people as it helped - and most likely far more. If anything is shaming and silencing and soul-crushing to trauma survivors, in my experience, it is the insistence that to speak openly about violence is itself a form of violence.

Crucially, none of that means that you can't have boundaries. Anyone who insists on pushing those boundaries is absolutely and unequivocally in the wrong. At the same time, it's important to recognize that a boundary is a fence that you place around yourself, not a cage that you can order everybody else to stay inside. You're well within your rights to (eg) not read or discuss Lolita, but you can't ban other people from reading Lolita or discussing it in a public space like Tumblr.

Finally, Point #3: you are far from alone in being (at best) grossed out by certain kinks. You are not wrong that people can be pressured and coerced into things that they don't really want to do (which is equally true of the most vanilla of vanilla sex; in fact, if I had to guess, I'd wager that far more people have been pressured into sex acts that are commonly viewed as '''normal,''' specifically because they're viewed as normal - and thus mandatory, or at least weird to quibble about). And you are also not wrong that we live in a society. Of course kink does not exist in a vacuum. In the aforementioned rape culture, for example, it would be genuinely astonishing if a lot of people DIDN'T ever get their wires crossed between fear-arousal and sex-arousal and then fantasize about coercive or violent scenarios. To use a less loaded example, I think if you took a poll you could probably find a good number of people who at a formative age watched some film or other in which a sweaty handsome action hero got tied to a chair, and found that it Awakened Something in them. For that matter I don't even think something as simple as the number of people who get completely undone about boobs (as opposed to some other body part or erogenous zone) is entirely uninfluenced by the way women's bodies - and sexuality in general - are represented in pop culture.

And with all that said...human brains are individualized and complex and frequently pretty strange. Of course kink is influenced by the society we live in...but how exactly that influence plays out, how logical or 1:1 it is, is also individualized and complex and often strange. The primal monkeybrain is sometimes MUCH better at distinguishing different intensities of sensation/emotion than distinguishing different types of sensation/emotion (people cry when they're sad but also when they're furious, or frightened, or delighted, or deeply moved - or sometimes after really good sex, for that matter). Libido often operates very much in the realm of metaphor. Plenty of people do not literally want to fuck monsters, but are really into the rush of danger or the recognition of self in the other or just the idea of desire existing outside the limits of what is '''supposed''' to be desirable. Plenty of people do not literally want to be eaten, but really like the idea of being consumed.

All of which is to say that the reason people are reluctant to be judgmental about kink isn't that it's some magical zone where the rules of critical thinking don't apply. It's that you can't critically evaluate something when you're missing a ton of context, if you haven't been invited into somebody's bedroom you often are missing a ton of context on the whys and hows of what they're into, and there's no way you can demand someone explain all the fine details of their sex life to you without being the bad guy (that's, y'know, sexual harassment). I think it'd be pretty naive to say that nobody has ever kinked on something for cruel or dehumanizing reasons. I also think that cruelty and dehumanization are bad independent of how they're expressed. Abuse is wrong whether the perpetrator is as vanilla as a bottle of extract or the kinkiest person on the planet.

Does that make sense? What I'm saying is that all the potential ins and out of individual human sexuality between enthusiastically consenting adults are way above my pay grade, and what matters is that someone treats their partners (and also people they aren't sleeping with) respectfully and kindly. I don't think there's a world where somebody is into something specifically as a tool to mistreat people that doesn't lead to anyone being mistreated. And I think that sort of thing - actions, end results - is what's most feasible to judge if you don't want to be in the business of prosecuting thoughtcrimes.

Which I recognize is probably not the answer you were after, and like I said I think it's fully understandable to wish for a much more clean-cut and comforting answer when grappling with pretty fraught subjects. But I do think that even if you disagree with EVERYTHING else that I've said here, the basic stance that you're asking me about remains true: normal ≠ moral. Weirdness ≠ violence. Even in your ask above, you've drawn a distinction between non-normative behavior that you see as basically harmless and non-normative behavior that you see as harmful. Which says that we're in agreement that the fundamental question is whether someone's behavior is harmful, not whether someone's behavior is transgressive of social norms.

#normal ≠ moral #cw rape #cw child abuse #on warnings #purity discourse #habanero salsa tag #my posts #ask box

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esther-dot · 2 years

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You’ve peaked my interest… and I agree, I think there is a bit of a disconnect between how we might view Jon (his character, choices, relationships etc) and how Kit does. And I guess that’s a fault of the show, because being so involved in that as an actor would have had an impact, but are there any other glaring differences in perception for you? Things that make you apprehensive for his continued version? Thanks :)

(about this ask)

Oh, I studiously avoided all interviews and news related to GoT until right before s8, so I'm not filled in on Kit's perspective the way other fans are, and obviously, s8 was such a mess I was gonna hate everything he said after the fact because he had to be unprofessional or defend crappy writing. Also, I don't think interviews are necessarily a writer/actor/director's honest opinion. They have to sell their product, that’s the priority, and if they’re totally honest, as amusing as that can be, it can just confuse the issue. I know EC said a lot of things post finale that were expressing her feelings about what happened, but they didn’t make sense with what we watched happen on screen. So, sometimes the interviews just muddy the water, and in that way, it may be best to stick to the party line. And another issue is that what we hear them talk about is not only guided by what the interviewer is interested in but sometimes further curated so I don’t know what is a sincere thought on Kit’s part, I didn’t listen to his thoughts over the years so I’m unaware of how they evolved, and I don’t want to claim I know things I don’t. I mean, I’m still gonna chat about this but caveat caveat caveat.

After s8 Kit said something about Jon belonging with the FF, and I simply don’t see how someone who has read the books thinks that Jon belongs with them. I know people do, but I don’t understand it at all. I don’t even buy that for show Jon although it isn’t quite as weird to me that show watchers think that. Thinking that he may end up in exile is one thing, but to assert that he’s happy/happier there? It’s implying he’s at peace with their lifestyle when in the books he is clearly disapproving, so I just don’t buy the idea he’d ever embrace it, nor should we want him to? Jon’s view needed to be challenged and developed, but we aren’t mean to think killing kids or kidnapping women is ok.

One quote from Jon’s time with the FF that I always found jarring is when he thinks of himself as a dog when having sex with Ygritte. The fact that he feels dehumanized was disturbing to me, and made the revelation of what he truly wanted, to be a lord with a lady wife, all the more heartbreaking. Jon doesn’t want to just find a rando to fuck, he wants the life he’s been denied through no fault of his own. So even if to the reader his time with Ygritte sounds like fun, Jon’s internalization of it isn’t positive because of his upbrigning. Jon fans should respect that. Now, of course, the show diminished the cultural differences and barriers that prevent Jon from assimilating post canon, but if we’re thinking of book Jon, sympathy and caring for some of the FF doesn’t eliminate them.

I defended (a lil bit) Kit’s thoughts about show Jongritte (link) because D&D changed it from the books, and I don’t want to assume that’s his answer if asked about book Jongritte. But, if we conflate it all, or just combined that with his comment about show Jon belonging with the FF, I worry. How sincerely did he mean that? Book Jon wasn’t truly happy with Ygritte, he didn’t choose her. He resisted her, was coerced into having sex with her, and she was continually forceful and demanding with him. The entire time that Jon is with her, he’s tortured because he always intended to betray her. He feels bad because he’s a good person and comes to care for her and others, but to me the point wasn’t that he ever wavered, it was simply to highlight how difficult it was for him to remain steadfast. I think Martin’s a writer who never wants it to be too easy for his characters, and I admire that. But to take that, to take Jon seeing these people as people, and miss the fact that he has much greater loyalty and love for his family, for the North as a whole, for his brothers of the Watch (and this is big considering what later happens to him), and to himself….uh, well, I think that means misunderstanding him in a major way.

Again, I don’t know that Kit missed that. He was speaking in the context of the show, but I think D&D missed the purpose the J/Y relationship served in the book, and I worry that Kit followed their lead there and applied that to Jon and the FF too. Jon is very much a product of his culture and his upbringing by Ned. He wants to have honor, he wants to adhere to his vows, he wants to be worthy, he has certain values, none of which the FF or Ygritte understand or respect. It bothers me that even in the show Ygritte says it’s time to break his vow and that’s presented as romantic because these two gorgeous people have chemistry, rather than yet another burden poor Jon will have to carry that he must do something that will add to his shame. And yeah, Kit later talked about Dany being Jon’s love and we all saw how he acted that, so everything he says in interviews is suspect, especially when he had to at times outright lie to us (regarding Jon being dead, for instance), so this stuff doesn’t bother me too much, it just makes me hhhhmmm.

I understand why Kit would want to believe that Jon’s ending is good, that Jon will be ok, but what if he truly believes that Jon belongs with the FF? What does that say about how he read Jon’s struggle with honor/duty/love? What does that say about how he read Jon’s relationship with the Starks? What does that say about how he took the line Jon gives a dying Ygritte? Does he think Jon should have been a turn cloak? Should have stayed in the cave? Does he think Jon should have fucked Ygritte, rethought all his convictions and giving a shit about his family and the North and sided with the FF? I mean, I doubt it, but I’m not sure what he thinks. Even if he meant Jon belongs with the FF now, when they’re seemingly at peace, he belongs with them because he’s done with politics and just wants to live without those games impacting him, that’s still ignoring the child killing and the rape culture that book Jon specifically objects to. Life South of the Wall has been cruel to Jon, there are all sorts of machinations, women and children suffer even a society that considers itself so much more cultured, but he finds those two aspects of FF life wrong, and considering his habit of wanting to protect the helpless, he’d never be able to ignore it. He would never be at peace with it. SO, how can we think Jon is happy to live in that world?

Also, I was concerned by the fact that Kit spoke about how annoying Sansa was and how he didn’t understand her etc. Now, I always thought the way he talked about it (blushing, laughing) was very cute and that he was speaking more in the context of his friendship with Sophie than anything too serious about Jon’s feelings regarding Sansa because of how he played Jon in their scenes, but I was concerned because even though he said that, there seemed to be a weird absence of equal judgment of Jon and Dany. If Sansa is annoying for begging Jon to consider another perspective, what does that say about Dany who says if you don’t kneel I’ll let everyone die? On any moral scale that Sansa registers, Dany is off the charts and that’s in s7, way before she starts randomly threatening the lives of her bf’s family or burning kids for funsies.

Again, I tried to avoid interviews so I’m not trying to say I know what Kit thinks, I’ve definitely heard contradictory soundbites, and at one point he said he would never understand Jon, but while there were some (joking imo) complaints about Sansa, I never heard him acknowledge that in the story they ended up giving us, Sansa was far too trusting of Jon because Jon betrayed her by bending the knee, giving away her freedom, unnecessarily. I never heard him defend Sansa and point out how loyal she was to Jon. I never heard him talk about how accepting of Jon she was. That may have happened, and I think there were some interviews around s6 in which he said Jon should listen to Sansa, but I didn’t think, putting all shipping aside, he acknowledged what Sansa’s actions (giving Jon a cloak like Ned’s, telling him he’s a Stark to her, wanting him to take the Lord’s chamber, supporting him as KitN...) meant to Jon, and I think that meant the world to show Jon and would mean even more to book Jon.

Even Sophie was guided into some Sansa critical comments at times, so I don’t get offended by that stuff, but it makes me squint because Kit continued to talk about Jon’s honor and honesty in s7-8, even then it looks like he lied to his lords and the Starks about that. So it appears Jon felt like he needed to be honest with Cersei in s7 and Dany in s8 but he didn’t owe that to his family or the people who made him king? Now, obviously, that’s shit writing, Kit isn’t responsible, but why isn’t there recognition of what that means about Jon? And what that means about Sansa’s behavior? The context of Sansa’s behavior is Jon’s, and Jon’s is so so much worse then hers. So, what gives? I don’t like Jon bashing but between Jon and Sansa, Jon is the one who sided with a mass murderer. Why wasn’t that brought into focus?

This is probably what gives me the most concern about a sequel. If he doesn’t look at Jon s7-8 and think “boy, you fucked up.” (and I haven’t heard anything that makes me think that’s how he views things), I can’t see how this show will have anything to say that I want to hear. I remember him saying when they go into KL and the massacre starts that Jon realizes there’s no honor in that fight and that did annoy me because Jon hadn’t had honor all season, not after he lied to his family and forced Sansa to keep a secret she shouldn’t have and refused to listen to any warnings about Dany even though he knew even better than Sansa that all her concerns about Dany were justified, and he then refused to even entertain the idea that Dany needed to be stopped, stood by as Dany burned a man alive, went ahead and dragged his men into KL even thought he knew Dany wouldn’t stop after the bells rang...like, caveat caveat caveat but also wtf wtf wtf.

He spoke about how it broke Jon’s heart to kill Dany, and that’s fine, he has to say what he has to say as part of his job, but what about Jon’s feelings of complicity in the massacre? What about the fact that his choices meant bringing a woman into Sansa’s home (where she had been raped and tortured) who immediately started threatening Sansa’s life? What about his feelings that Ned Stark abandoned his sacred honor and lied to his best friend/committed treason against the king he fought for to protect Jon, only for Jon to side against Ned’s daughters and with a Targaryen conqueror, until the last possible minute? Where is his shame? Where is his guilt?

For book Jon, no matter how fucked up he is post assassination, being embroiled in any of this mess, all I can think of is the self-recrimination he would have and how the kid would never have peace unless the entire time he had remained faithful to the Starks and the North and been serving their interests. Even for show Jon, I found this all untenable. But I never saw anything that made me think Kit felt that way. Hence my misgivings.

#ask dot #jon show

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queenshelby · 3 years

Text

The Maid – Part One of Three

Featuring: Tommy Shelby x Virgin!Reader

Words: 5095

Warning: Smut

Summary: It was Sunday Evening and you working at a nightclub in London. This was your first job and today you were to meet an interesting man who would make you a job offer that you couldn’t refuse. When you took up the job with him, you got so much more than you bargained for.

Tag List:

@lilymurphy03 @deefigs @theflamecrystal @chrisevanshoeee @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @captivatedbycillianmurphy @fookingshelby @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall @elenavampire21 @hanster1998 @mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-my-sunflower

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Meeting a Stranger

‘Good Evening Sir, may I get you a drink?’ you asked as you looked up into his deep blue eyes.

‘Whiskey. Irish please’ the man said without looking at you as he lit himself a cigarette.

It was unusual for men in this establishment not to make eye contact. It was almost like he was disinterested in his surroundings.

When he lifted up his whiskey glass, you noticed his wedding band. Of course, he was married and here to cheat on his wife.

She probably no longer satisfied his needs. But what did you know? Being 19 years old and rather shy, you had never been with a man.

It wasn’t long until the mistress arrived at the bar which also was unusual. He must be a special guest if the mistress herself was taking the time to talk to him.

‘Mr Shelby, I apologise, but Laura is absent tonight. Clara might be of interest’ the mistress said.

‘Not Clara. Someone new’ he responded.

‘Of course. I will make arrangements’ the mistress said before excusing herself.

Just as the mistress had left, the man ordered a second glass of whiskey.

‘Your name is Shelby?’ you asked surprised as you served him. ‘Are you related to Thomas Shelby by any chance?’ you added.

Without a response, he finally looked up at you. His eyes widened and his facial expression changed, almost like he had seen a ghost.

‘Is everything alright?’ you asked as you didn’t receive a response to your question.

‘You remind me of someone I used to know’ he responded. ‘You just look like her’ he added.

‘So I’ve been told. It’s a shame I never got to meet her’ you said, knowing exactly that he was talking about your half sister Greta Jurossi.

Greta and her mother passed away of consumption before you were born. Your father became very upset by their passing and found comfort in your mother who he fathered two children with. You were the oldest.

Your half-sister Kitty Jurossi spoke about Thomas Shelby quite frequently as the love of Greta’s life. They had been together since they were 16 and you know that he left for France shortly after Greta passed at the age of 19.

Just as Tommy introduced himself to you and began asking you questions, the mistress returned and advised Tommy that arrangements had been made.

‘I changed my mind’ Tommy said. ‘Although, I would like Miss Jerossi to accompany me. I will cover her wages for the night’ Tommy said, causing your heart to skip a beat.

‘Mr Shelby, I am afraid to inform you that she has no experience. She is not one of our working girls. She is simply a barmaid. Although, if you insist and this is something you wish to explore further, we could perhaps come to some to an arrangement’ the mistress said.

You were speechless and felt like you were auctioned off to the highest bidder.

‘I am not intending to fuck her. I would simply like to continue our conversation, eh’ Tommy said sheepishly, catching the mistress by surprise.

‘This should be enough for her time and for you to put another barmaid on for the evening’ he added as he handed her 10 pounds.

‘Of course, Mr Shelby, thank you’ the mistress said before telling you to get your coat.

You grabbed your coat and met Tommy at the front of the club. Just as you arrived, he had lid himself a cigarette.

‘Common’ he said before you followed him to his car.

‘Where are we going?’ you asked. You were still slightly uncomfortable about the situation unfolding right in front of you.

‘A place I know’ he said as he drove off and, within ten minutes, you pulled up in front of a nightclub of a different kind. It was full of artists, a band was playing in the background and everyone enjoyed champaign and cocaine.

‘Common, have a seat’ Tommy said as he sat down with you in a somewhat private area.

He ordered you a drink and began to talk about Greta, his long-lost love. You were still unsure why you were there, with him. Whilst he asked you several questions about your life and your circumstances, it was mostly him who was doing the talking.

After several hours of talking, on the stroke of midnight, Tommy made you a proposal which was too good to refuse.

He offered you a job in Birmingham, as a maid. Apparently, his household was short-staffed and his wife needed more assistance. He was of the view that working in an up-market brothel as a barmaid was no job for a woman like you. Somehow, he didn’t know you, but he cared. He was concerned that, the longer you work there, the more likely it will become that you be asked to do more than just serve drinks.

His offer was kind and you accepted it with caveat that you had no experience as a maid.

He assured you that you will learn all you need to know on the job.

New Life

A week after your encounter with Thomas Shelby, your new life began.

You were introduced to the household and tried the best you could to settle in.

Most days, you were on your own with the other maids, Elizabeth Shelby, who was Tommy’s wife and Tommy’s two children.

Tommy’s wife Lizzie disliked you for obvious reasons. She insisted on older and experienced maids and it was evident to her why Tommy had hired you.

For a while you tried very hard to make Lizzie like you, but nothing took away the apprehension she had in respect of you.

Whilst you could understand her concerns, Tommy had never made any advances towards you. After all, you were much younger than him.

But, over the next few weeks, you learned why Lizzie was so apprehensive. Her marriage to Tommy was on the verge of breaking.

According to Sarah, one of the maids, Tommy and Lizzie were no longer sleeping in the same bedroom and she overheard Lizzie speaking to a solicitor in London to ascertain what her options were if she was to divorce him.

Sarah was of the view that there is no love between Tommy and Lizzie. There never has been.

Lizzie enjoyed the life and the money. Apparently, she used to be a working girl in Birmingham and this is how she met Tommy.

They used to sleep together, quite frequently, until one day she fell pregnant. When Tommy became a member of parliament, he married her. Clearly, he had to appear to be doing the right thing in a position like that.

Sarah herself had her eyes on Tommy and was the only other young maid who managed to stay. For some reason not apparent to you, Lizzie tolerated her. Perhaps she knew too much. After all, one of the reasons maids stayed at the Shelby household was because they were paid well, much better than in other households. Sarah was one of the few maids who had access to Thomas Shelby’s office and it was likely that she had to put a blind eye on the illegal activities Thomas Shelby engaged in.

Every Thursday Evening at 8 o’clock, Sarah would go to Tommy’s office and she would be there for an hour exactly. You timed it, right to the second, every week.

One week, you managed to quietly pass by the office on a Thursday evening at half past eight and you could hear them being intimate.

To your surprise, despite their weekly encounters, Tommy was cold towards her. He didn’t treat her differently to any of the other maids. It appeared to you that the sex they have was no more than another business transaction for Tommy.

Whilst Tommy wasn’t around much, when he was, he was different with you. He was kind and warm in his own way. You were the youngest maid in the household and even Francis said that you get away with mistakes that aren’t usually tolerated because Mr Shelby seems to have soft spot for you. Sometimes, he would even smile at you and you began to like him more than you should have liked a man his age. Sometimes, you even imagined what it would be like if it was you in Tommy’s office with him instead of Sarah.

To your surprise, after a month of you being at the Shelby house, Tommy started to call you into his office as well. You recalled the first time. It was a Tuesday evening, 8 o’clock and you were nervous.

Whilst you could imagine yourself sleeping with him, you had never been with a man before.

But, intimacy and sex was not what Tommy was after. He simply enjoyed your company and you would talk for hours, about horses, racing and politics.

Like a real gentleman, he kept his distance, offering you a drink and a cigarette while you talked and talking was all you ever did.

Sarah noticed reasonably quickly that your Tuesday night encounters with Tommy became a habit and once she even overheard you referring to him as Tommy as opposed to Mr Shelby.

Tommy insisted that you call him Tommy when you talked in private. It was not part of your work and he said that he felt old every time you called him ‘Mr Shelby’.

As another four weeks had passed, you could see the man within him who your step sister fell in love with and Kitty had spoken so highly about. He appeared to you every Tuesday evening at 8 o’clock, a different man.

Mistakes Happen

To Lizzie’s and Francis’s annoyance, you made many mistakes. Burnt toast was just one of them. But none of that bothered Tommy.

As it has happened, one day you even managed to break an incredibly expensive vase as you paid more attention to Tommy getting dressed through the crack of his bedroom door. It was a sheer accident which probably wouldn’t have happened if you paid more attention to what you were doing at the time rather than Tommy’s naked chest.

‘I am so sorry Mr Shelby, I didn’t mean to drop this’ you said, totally embarrassed and flustered as the vase dropped to the floor and, hearing the shatter, Tommy emerged from his bedroom.

‘It’s alright Y/N, seriously. It’s just a vase, eh’ Tommy said with a smile on his face as he bent over, helping you to collect the pieces.

‘Please Mr Shelby, I can do this’ you said with some embarrassment. Your cheeks were flushed by the sight of him, wearing nothing but his suit pants.

Tommy’s eyes gazed over to you as he picked up the pieces and it was clear to you that he noticed your flushed cheeks.

‘Tommy, what are you doing?’ Lizzie said as she observed him collecting pieces of broken porcelain with you from the floor.

‘What does it look like Lizzie?’ Tommy asked. It was clear to you that they were fighting, again. They always fought. Sometimes you wondered why they were married at all.

The constant arguing between Tommy and Lizzie was exhausting. It exhausted everyone, even the maids.

‘I’ve got it Mr Shelby, please’ you said as you put more pieces of the broken vase into a bucket.

‘See, she’s got it Tommy, now would you please see Arthur. He is downstairs yelling and Charles has started to pick up the swear words’ Lizzie said.

‘Alright Lizzie, fuck’ he said as he got up and left you to it. As you were cleaning up the last of the broken pieces, you overheard Lizzie talk to Ada about you.

‘I really don’t know why Thomas had to employ her instead of someone more experienced’ she said.

‘She looks exactly like Greta, his first ever love, that’s why Lizzie’ Ada responded.

‘Well then he should have left her at the whorehouse and visit her there’ Lizzie said frustrated before walking off.

Lizzie’s comment made you rather upset and you were beginning to feel even more uncomfortable at the house with every day that went by.

Lizzie had begun to notice Tommy’s favouritism towards you and it was clear to you that she did not want you around.

After another two weeks, you couldn’t bare it any longer and decided to resign. The tension between you and Lizzie had become too much to tolerate.

You handed your written resignation to Tommy at noon on a Monday and, just as he read it, he walked to his office door and closed it behind him.

‘Sit down Y/N, have a drink’ Tommy said, causing you to flush.

‘Common’ Tommy said as he poured yourself a glass of whiskey, neat, before sitting down on one of the arm chairs.

You sat down across from him as he handed you the glass of whiskey.

‘I cannot accept this’ he said as he took a sip from his glass.

‘Tommy, I cannot continue to work for you. I am not suited for this job and I am fairly sure that neither your wife nor Francis like me very much’ you explained.

‘That might be right but, in the end of the day, I make the decisions, eh’ Tommy said. ‘And I would like you to stay’ he added.

‘Why? You can easily find a better maid’ you laughed.

‘Because you are smart Y/N and I enjoy your company. Please’ Tommy said.

‘Alright, I will give it another month and then reconsider’ you said.

‘Good’ Tommy smiled. ‘I see you tomorrow at the usual time?’ he asked, causing you to nod with a smile.

It was difficult for you to deny Tommy especially since your attraction towards him was growing, becoming almost unhealthy in a way. Why would you feel like this around a man who was twice your age? You wanted him and stayed around in the hope that he would offer you more than employment.

And just like this, with Thomas Shelby in the back of your mind, you went on with your work.

It’s Fucking Tuesday

Tuesday evening approached quickly and you couldn’t wait to see Tommy.

At 8 o’clock, you sneaked into his office as usual, barefoot and without knocking so that no one would notice.

Little did you know that, that evening, you would reveal a lot more to Tommy than you had initially anticipated.

As such, after two glasses of whiskey and a couple of cigarettes, you spoke honestly about your political views. You too were in support of communism and felt as though Tommy had lost his way in his political campaigns for the Labour Party.

‘The good old cause, eh’ Tommy laughed after you outlined to him where the Labour Party went wrong in your opinion. ‘You know Y/N, you remind me of someone, someone who was just as idealistic and passionate about changing the world as you are’ he added.

‘I’ve been told that before, by my father. He used to get rather frustrated with us both’ you said.

‘Kitty said that you were idealistic and in favour of an armed revolution once yourself. But then she told me that all of this changed after the war. The same Tommy never came back from France. You had changed. But I am not sure if I am willing to believe that’ you added.

‘No one came back Y/N’ Tommy said. ‘The war changed everyone’ he added.

‘That is true but, I think that the Tommy she spoke so highly about many years ago is still in there somewhere. I’ve seen it. You are still a man with ideals and a man who cares, even if you don’t want to admit it. If you didn’t care, I wouldn’t be here’ you said as you walked over in front of where Tommy was sitting in order to fill up your glass of whisky.

For a moment, you placed your empty glass on to the desk besides him and kneeled down in front of him.

‘You are a good man, Tommy. A good man who does bad things sometimes where necessary and the world needs more men just like you’ you said before you leaned in and pressed your lips onto his.

Without the two glasses of whiskey, you would never have been able to build up the courage to do this, but there you were, kissing Thomas Shelby.

Tommy gave into the kiss for a moment, his lips dancing with yours but his hands not leaving his chair.

‘This is wrong Y/N’ Tommy said as your lips drifted apart.

‘Yes’ you said before pressing your lips back onto his for a short moment. ‘Yes, it is’ you added and, just in that moment, Tommy leaned forward caressing your face and returning the kiss.

This is what you wanted for so long, his lips on yours and your tongues exploring each other.

After about a minute, Tommy pulled away, looking into your dark eyes.

‘This is a bad idea Y/N’ Tommy said again, still cupping your face.

‘Well, then tell me that you don’t want me and I will leave right now’ you said.

‘I want you alright, but you are half my age’ Tommy said.

‘So what? You are Thomas Shelby, you can have whoever you want’ you said and, just like that, your hands reached for the buckle of his belt, undoing it slowly.

You could hear Tommy inhale deeply and knew exactly that he likes to be pleasured this way. You had never done any of this, but the working girls at the brothel spoke about it frequently. Sometimes, you saw them do it, in a quite corner of the club or the lavatories if the men liked to be watched.

‘Have you ever done this before?’ Tommy asked, looking down at you, his hand tangled in your hair. He could tell that you were nervous and completely out of your comfort zone.

You shook your head shyly and, as much as Tommy wanted to feel your mouth on his cock, he wanted you to feel entirely comfortable with what you were doing.

‘Come up’ he said, taking your hands and guiding you up towards him before pressing his lips onto yours for a passionate kiss.

‘You don’t want me to?’ you asked as you broke the kiss and Tommy buckled up his belt.

‘Trust me, I want you to’ Tommy smirked, cupping your face again.

‘But not like this’ Tommy said before giving you another kiss.

Just after your lips drifted apart, your eyes wandered downwards where could see Tommy’s erection pushing against his pants. He clearly was ready and you wondered why he stopped you.

‘Tomorrow, after 10 o’clock, in your room. If you want me to come, you leave your bedside lamp on. I will see the light through the bottom of the door. If you don’t want me to come then turn it off and I won’t, alright?’ Tommy said.

Tommy wanted you to be sure about this. Not influenced by whiskey and not in the heat of the moment.

You agreed to his suggestion and, after a few more kisses, you left his office.

A Night to Remember

The next evening, after you finished work for the day and had dinner, you made your way to your room. You had a bath, washed your hair and got dressed in some lingerie.

The fire was lid and, just as instructed, you left on the bedside lamp. It was only 9 o’clock and you had to wait another hour before Tommy would meet you. You tried to kill the time by reading a book, but you couldn’t think about anything but Tommy and what was about to happen.

You wondered what it would be like to be with a man, especially a man like him. He was clearly experienced. Nonetheless, you were worried that it would be painful.

Five minutes to ten, you put the book that you weren’t really reading aside and put on some perfume. You wanted to smell nice for him.

You positioned yourself on the bed, seductively. Your black lace underwear was highlighted by the light of the bedside lamp. Your hair was open, your curls running over your shoulders. Your porcelain pale skinned was complimented by the dark red lipstick you had borrowed from one of the maids.

Waiting impatiently, just as the clock stroke ten, you could hear the door opening.

‘You look beautiful’ Tommy smirked.

‘Just for you’ you said shyly, taking in a deep breath as Tommy walked over towards you.

He was wearing nothing but underpants and you couldn’t help but stare at his perfect body.

It wasn’t long until he climbed onto the bed with you and his lips met yours for a passionate kiss.

The kiss was urgent and his lips tasted like sweet whiskey. He took his time, his hands roaming over your body while his tongue was dancing with yours.

It wasn’t long until he found the clip of your bra and he opened it with ease.

‘If I would have known that it would come off so quickly, I wouldn’t have spent half my weekly wage on it’ you giggled.

‘Just an unnecessary piece of fabric’ Tommy chuckled as his fingers began to trace the lines of your body, curving around your now naked breasts, stroking and teasing your nipples.

His lips soon moved from your mouth down to your neck and then all the way to your breasts.

‘Mmhm’ you moaned as he began to bite your nipples gently while his hands roamed downwards to your stomach and then your lace panties.

Tommy hooked his thumbs in your panties and slowly drew them down your legs, leaving you totally exposed.

While kissing over your breasts gently, one of his hands moved directly in between your legs and his index finger traced through your wet slit, dipping into slightly.

You inhaled sharply and tensed up suddenly and unintentionally. Tommy could feel your body become stiff and your legs closing around his hand.

‘Do you want me to stop?’ Tommy asked as he moved upwards slightly, worried that this was too much too soon for you.

‘No Tommy, I want you’ you said desperately before pressing your lips back onto his.

‘Please’ you then said again as your lips drifted apart.

‘Alright. I will take it slow and you will tell me if I hurt you or if you want me to stop. Agreed?’ he said, causing you to nod.

And just like that, his lips met your again before he started to trail kisses down your body.

Just as he reached your stomach, he stopped and lowered himself further, right in between your legs.

Tommy hooked one of your calves around his shoulder and then started kissing up your ankle, your calf, your knee.

You had no idea what he was doing until he got closer and closer to your already soaking wet mound.

‘Tommy, what are you doing?’ you asked nervously. His face was so close to your most intimate parts that you flushed from embarrassment.

‘You’ll see’ he smirked just before, all of a sudden, he dipped his tongue to meet your sex.

‘Oh god’ you cried out, partly from pleasure and partly from the exhilaration of a sensation entirely foreign to your body.

He drew lazy circles around your clit, making your legs twitch of their own volition. Your hand nestled in Tommy’s hair, stroking it as you moaned.

Tommy adapted quickly, gauging your moans and learning your sweet spots.

While his tongue circled over your client, he carefully and slowly pushed a finger into you.

You tensed, but relaxed quickly as you couldn’t feel any pain.

He began to thrust it in and out in time with the rhythm of his tongue.

You felt dizzy, quivering with anticipation as heat pooled deep in your belly.

You whimpered, whispering "please" over and over again as you felt yourself on the verge of exploding. No orgasm you had ever given yourself had been like this—it felt electric.

Tommy could soon feel your walls tightening around his finger and increased the speed of his thrusts.

You clapped a hand over your mouth and screamed as you came, your back arching, legs shaking, hips grinding against him. Even after you were past your highest peak, you felt the energy tingling, jolting through you, inspiring little sighs.

When you opened your eyes, you saw him grin, wiping your nectar from his face with the back of his hand.

‘I think you are ready now eh’ he smirked before taking off his underpants.

He was large, larger than you had imagined.

You took in a deep breath, knowing exactly what was to come next.

Tommy could see the nervousness and concern on your face.

‘Don’t worry, I will go slow and we can stop at any time, alright’ he said as he positioned himself in between your legs.

‘Tommy, are you sure it will fit, I mean…’ you said nervously and, before you could finish your sentence, Tommy interrupted you with a mild chuckle.

‘It will fit Love’ he said before his lips met yours again for passionate kiss.

As he was kissing you gently, he positioned his cock at your entrance and began to press just the head into you.

It felt warm and moist.

Tommy’s normally-cool countenance was wide-eyed and intense as he began pushing into you.

Your breath hissed out in tandem as he began to stretch you open and you couldn’t help it but hold onto his upper arms tightly.

Pushing into you inch by inch, you groaned when he finally met the resistance of your hymen.

‘Tommy, please’ you moaned as you squeezed your eyes shut and braced yourself for what was coming.

Tommy leaned forward, slowly pushing through the resistance.

You both struggled to contain your yelps of pain and pleasure as he tore through you.

Your eyes welled up with tears as your recovered from the white-hot sharpness, but before long it was replaced by a feeling of blissful fullness. You fluttered open my eyes and gave him a lazy smile.

‘Are you alright?’ he asked, holding still, allowing you to adjust to his size. His voice was throaty and intense.

‘Yes’. I feel so... fucking... full’ you giggled and, just like that, he began to push deeper, then rocked his hips back out.

He thrusted in a slow, deliberate rhythm, working his cock into you inch by inch.

Every new thrust stretched you out beyond what you thought you could handle.

He looked down in a moment of surprise as your hips began to grind against him, trying to work his cock in and out of you. He chuckled, re-positioning himself for leverage, and began to fuck you.

He began with slower, shallower strokes, finding his rhythm and stretching you out. You could tell that he wanted to go faster, but your walls were gripping too tight for him to pound you just yet without hurting you.

You could see the hunger in Tommy’s features, feel it as his hand tangled in your hair and gave it a sharp tug.

The tug distracted you and gave him the opportunity he needed to thrust hard and deep into you.

You cried out, and the lingering pain in your body was suddenly replaced by explosive pleasure. You threw your arms around his neck and he drew his hips back before pounding you with another powerful thrust, and another, and another.

The sensations—the sound of your bodies slapping together, the smell of sex, the feeling of his body pounding into you—collided suddenly in a violent eruption, and you couldn't contain your cries of pleasure as you came for the second time.

Your pleasure and the feel of your walls spasming around him sent Tommy into overdrive.

He pounded you harder and harder, before tensing and releasing his seed inside you with a shuddering roar.

You both gasped for breath, covered in sweat, hearts racing from the heat of your encounter. His lips met yours in a deep kiss, and you tasted yourself again on his tongue.

‘You are so fucking beautiful’ Tommy said in between kisses before he finally pulled out of you, causing some of his cum mixed with some of your mildly blood-stained juices leak on the sheet.

‘Will you stay with me for the night?’ you asked as you pressed your cheek onto Tommy’s warm chest.

‘You know I can’t’ Tommy said as he ran his hand through your hair. ‘But I’ll stay until you fall asleep eh’ he added before pressing his lips onto to yours yet again.

And so he did, he stayed with you until you drifted off to sleep.

The Aftermath

The next morning, you woke up early. Somewhat sore but full of energy.

Tommy didn’t have to tell you that, what happened last night, had to remain a secret.

Nonetheless, you hoped that you would have an encounter like this with him again soon.

To your surprise, when you got dressed, you noticed the stains on the white sheets.

You pulled them off quickly and decided to get them into the wash before the other maids had to use the laundry facilities.

As you walked into the laundry room with your sheets, you saw Sarah.

‘You are up early?’ you asked surprised.

‘Charles was sick last night and I have to clean his sheets. I think he doesn’t tolerate cows’ milk to be honest’ she said.

‘What about you?’ she asked.

‘Washing my sheets before it gets too busy’ you said shyly.

‘Didn’t you just wash your sheets?’ Sarah asked, taking them off your hands.

‘Sarah, please, let me’ you said. ‘It’s this time of the month’ you said nervously, lying of course, but trying to justify the somewhat small but obvious stains on your sheets.

‘Don’t worry, if I can clean up vomit, I can clean up anything. Despite, you don’t know how to use the new machine’ Sarah chuckled.

With reluctance and embarrassment, you agreed but, just as Sarah placed the stained sheets into the basin, she noticed a familiar scent. Tommy’s aftershave.

‘You know Y/N, you might want to see a doctor’ she said.

‘Why is that?’ you asked.

‘You said that it’s the time of the month for you. You had your menses ten days ago. That’s not normal don’t you think? Unless there is something else you have to hide Y/N?’ Sarah said sharply.

#Tommy Shelby #tommy shelby smut #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby imagine #thomas shelby #thomas shelby smut #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby imagine #Peaky Blinders #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fanfic #thomas shelby x y/n #tommy shelby x y/n #tommy shelby x you #peaky blinders smut #smut

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scabopolis · 3 years

Note

Omg congrats on 600 followers! Honestly any fake dating with Jonah x Amy would be amazing, although I love number 44 and/or 48 on your Google Docs <333

This is my first Jonah x Amy fic and I offer two caveats: 1) I’m still not sure if there is a particular vibe people who read for this pairing preferring, so...here we are, and 2) I have only made it through 4x12 of Superstore but am pretty familiar w/ what happens the rest of the series.

Prompt: “You know we’re not actually dating, so why did you propose to me in front of my family?” / “I’m sorry, I panicked.” --- Title: the scene of the complication Fandom: Superstore Pairing: Jonah/Amy Other Characters: My crippling insecurity writing for a new fandom, sleep soft mornings, dumbs being dumb (but, like in a cute way) Additional Tags: friends to lovers (or idiots to friends to lovers??), fake dating shenanigans, alternative universe where Amy’s HS pregnancy test was negative and she and Jonah met in college Word Count: ~2,100 ---

It started with a chance meeting ten years ago, and somehow it’s brought Amy Sosa here: awake in her childhood room with Jonah Simms beside her, sleeping off upwards of half a dozen tequila shots. Maybe she shouldn’t be surprised. She knew that day they met in the lecture hall that Jonah was a person who would make her life exceedingly more complicated.

And ten years later, here they are, practically leaving complicated behind in the rear view mirror.

(“What are two hopes and one fear you have for your first lecture on your first day of college?” the guy sitting to her right asks.

Amy doesn’t answer at first but this stranger just waits for her, all blinking, bright eyes and freshman eagerness. It’s barely morning. Is this her life now?

“Hope one,” she says, holding up a finger, “that I’d sit next to someone quiet. Hope two,” she holds up another, “that no one would talk to me before I managed to find coffee.” She holds up a third finger. “And this moment right here is what I feared.”

For some reason, her shortness delights him. His smile is open and affectionate, and he nods in appreciation.

“Noted.”

And Amy fully intends to never speak to this wide-eyed panda boy ever again, but then their General Psychology professor informs the class that the person they’re sitting next to will be their assignment partner for the semester.

The next lecture her partner – his name is Jonah, she learns – brings her a cup of coffee and doesn’t speak a word until she takes a long sip.

Complicated.)

Jonah snuffles in his sleep, his eyelids fluttering slightly. His hair is doing that thing it does when he’s hot or drunk or has run a hand through it too many times, where a single lock of hair hangs in the middle of his forehead. Amy resists the very real urge to brush it away. Because, yeah, she has those kinds of thoughts a lot and they also make things complicated. They’re friends. Maybe even best-friends, but definitely not ‘tenderly brush a lock of your hair away’ friends.

Do those kinds of friends even exist?

Jonah stirs again, and now that it’s clear he’s actually waking up, Amy reaches for her phone and opens Candy Crush. The last thing she needs is to get caught staring at him like some weird stalker.

“Oh, god,” he groans, his voice scratchy. He stretches out with another groan, his foot bumping against Amy’s as he does. Rather than move away, he kind of just rests it there on top of hers. And this is something she is all too familiar with. Drunk and/or hungover Jonah is yet another complication. More accurately, his propensity to cuddle indiscriminately is a very real complication.

“I need—” Amy reaches for the glass of water on her night stand and hands it to Jonah, stopping him mid-thought. “Do you have—?” She hands him two ibuprofen. “Thank you,” he says.

“You’re welcome.” She looks back at her phone.

Jonah swallows the two pills and drinks the entire glass of water, and then lays back down, curling slightly into Amy’s side.

“I made so many mistakes last night,” he says.

“I’m aware. As are your 80 Instagram followers.”

“I liveblogged it?”

“And tagged everything with the hashtag ‘best noche ever.’” He groans again and turns his face into Amy’s side. She sets her phone back on the nightstand. “What got into you?”

“Your dad is intimidating.”

“My dad?”

“Yes. Your dad. And then he and your brother kept pouring me shots—”

“I knew this had Eric’s fingerprints all over it.”

“Well, it was kind of my fault, too.”

She frowns. “What do you mean?” Jonah doesn’t answer and Amy kicks him under the covers. He looks up at her. His eyes are red-rimmed but also so sleepy and soft. Complicated. “Jonah.”

“They kept asking me questions. About you and me. And I was so worried I’d say something wrong, I kept taking shots to avoid answering.”

“You could have found me.”

“I know, but—” he trails off.

“But what?”

“I want them to like me.”

“Oh, Jonah.” She gives in and brushes the lock of hair off his forehead, and he looks up at her. “They’ve known you for 10 years. They’re never going to like you.”

“Thanks, I feel so much better.”

“I do have one more question.”

“Okay.”

“You know we’re not actually dating. Right?”

He closes his eyes and nods. “No. Yeah. I know.”

“So why did you propose to me in front of my family?”

“I panicked.”

“Panicked?”

“Your dad asked what my intentions were, and there were just so many shots.

“And that’s why you shouted ‘I intend to marry her!’?”

Jonah flips the comforter over his head. “I just got wrapped up in it all.” His words are muffled from under the comforter.

She’s glad for the moment of respite, with Jonah unable to see her. If Amy didn’t want things to careen so off track, she probably shouldn’t have agreed to let him come to her dad’s retirement party as her fake boyfriend.

(“I don’t see what the problem is,” Jonah says, spooning more cashew chicken onto his plate. “You don’t still have feelings for Adam, do you?”

“No. No. God no,” she says. “Absolutely not.”

“Alright. I’m clear on the no.”

“It’s just the last time I saw him— Well, you know.”

“I recall, yes.”

And he does. Jonah knows all about Amy’s high school boyfriend. The one she liked but never quite loved. The one she broke up with when the pregnancy test came back negative. The one she slept with again the summer after their senior year of college.

(An event that occurred in no small part because Jonah was dating Mindy and the two of them were talking about moving in together. Maybe moving to the west coast together and Amy realized there was a very real possibility she was going to be left behind.

Jonah doesn’t know that part of the story.)

Adam is also the guy who thought having sex in her childhood bedroom meant Amy wanted to get back together. He’s the guy bringing his very beautiful fiancée to her dad’s retirement party. Because he’s also somehow the guy who still helps her dad with home improvement projects. And Amy is just Amy – the one who doesn’t visit St. Louis enough, and is using her very expensive liberal arts degree to work as a survey researcher for Cloud9, meaning she’s basically paid to manipulate shoppers.

And, not that it should matter, but she’s also very single. Has been for a while now.

She mostly blames the man stealing chow mein from her plate for that. She blocks Jonah’s chopsticks with hers, and a piece of cabbage goes flying.

“Stop that,” she says.

“You’re not eating it.”

“I’m too annoyed to eat.”

“If you only ate when you weren’t annoyed you’d starve.”

“I hate you.”

She pushes the chow mein around her plate. God, when she thinks about it, this really is Jonah’s fault. If she could just find a way to get over this stupid, dumb, little crush that has creeped up – without her permission, mind you! – then maybe she could actually—

“I could do it,” Jonah says, interrupting her thought spiral.

“Do what?”

“Go with you to your dad’s retirement party. Be your fake boyfriend.”

“You think that’s a good idea?”

“I think it’s a great idea. Besides, I am very close to getting your dad to like me.”

“He’ll never like you.”

“It’s not that I didn’t like the painting—”

“—How would this even work?” she asks, cutting him off.

“I don’t know,” he says. “I think we act like we normally do, but maybe you can hold my hand and be nice to me.”

“Eww.”

Jonah smiles around a large bite of cashew chicken. She really needs to stop hanging out with him so much – he’s become immune to her insults. It’s rude.

And him as her fake boyfriend is a terrible idea. Truly awful. If Amy is looking to get over her crush and make things between her and Jonah less complicated, there are better ways to do it.

Except.

Except she kind of wants to.

“Okay. Let’s do it,” she says.

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” she says decisively. “But if you try and kiss me, I’ll cut your lips off.”

“That seems like a proportionate response.”)

“So, to be clear, I told you kissing wasn’t allowed, and you thought that left proposals on the table?”

He groans again from under the comforter. It’s a little sad and a lot pathetic. Poor guy.

She pats the comforter in the area of what she hopes is his shoulder. As annoyed as she is at having to untangle these threads, it’s not his fault. Not really. She knows her family is relentless. Amy slides down and flips the comforter over her head as well.

Jonah rolls over onto his side to face her. Amy does the same.

“It was better than Adam’s proposal.”

“Adam proposed?”

Amy nods. “Ish. If I remember correctly he said, ‘I’ll marry you if I have to.’”

“Yikes.”

“Right?” It’s cozy under this blanket. Intimate even. “You did say some nice things. Even if they came out kind of slurred.”

“Amy—”

“Sexy, huh?”

“I really didn’t mean to shout that to all of your dad’s—”

“Because it’s not true?”

“No!” Jonah winces and Amy isn’t sure if it’s ‘I have a hangover’ induced or ‘I am revealing too much’ induced. “It’s true. Of course it’s true. You are very, you know.”

“Sexy on a completely objective level? Or, are you saying that you, yourself, Jonah Simms, think I’m sexy?” Jonah goes completely still. Amy isn’t even sure he’s breathing. It’s entirely uncharacteristic and a little unnerving. She pokes his cheek. “Are you blushing?”

“Big time, yeah.”

That does enough to break the tension under their blanket enclave, both of them laughing, at first awkwardly and then more genuine. Once they stop to catch their breath, Amy notices they’ve shifted closer together.

This would be the perfect moment to flee from the scene of the complication. But the complications don’t seem so terrible at this specific moment. She blames that lock of hair of his.

“How long have you held this opinion?” Jonah frowns at Amy’s question. “Regarding my sexiness?” she clarifies.

“Amy—”

“What?”

“What are you doing?”

“I just want to—”

“Really? You really want to have this conversation?”

Jonah stresses the ‘you’ and Amy knows why he does. There isn’t a topic or feeling that is off-limits to Jonah – he’d happily discuss every feeling he’s ever had. It’s her. It’s always her.

Their faces are so close they’re practically sharing the same pillow. It takes no effort at all for Amy to close the distance between them, lightly brushing her lips against his. As quick as it began it’s over, and even in the dim light under the comforter, Amy can see Jonah’s eyes blown wide. She’s sure she looks just as shocked and she’s the one who did it.

“You said if I kissed you you’d cut off my lips.”

“Which is why I kissed you.”

“Oh,” he nods. “Makes sense.” Jonah taps out a slow but erratic rhythm against the side of his leg. She just knows he’s trying to stop himself from verbalizing every single thought in his head. “To be clear, was that a friendship kiss, or—”

So Amy kisses him again. This time Jonah recovers quickly from his shock, winding a hand into her hair, his palm cupping the back of her head. It’s just unbelievably good.

“Okay,” Jonah says, his voice unsteady as he pulls away. “That answers that.” He traces her jaw with his thumb. “Any chance we could do it some more?”

Amy rolls onto her back, putting some distance between them. “I don’t think so.”

“Wait. What?”

“Your breath is awful.”

Jonah breathes into his hand and sniffs it to confirm. “What if I brush my teeth?”

Amy sighs, long and exasperated. “I suppose that would be—”

Jonah is out of the bed in seconds, scrambling for his overnight bag, and Amy presses her lips together to hide her smile. From the way Jonah smiles, soft and delighted as he backs out of the room, she isn’t fooling anyone.

So far past the point of complicated, she thinks, her heart still racing. But then again, maybe complications that make her feel like this are okay.

#simmosa fanfic #superstore fanfic #jonah x amy #jonah simms #amy sosa #amy dubanowski #I hope you like it anon!#first fic for a new fandom is always the most nerve wracking!#why is that?#p: jonah x amy #c: jonah simms #c: amy sosa #tv: superstore #otp: fresh start #Anonymous #never stories

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inawickedlittletown · 4 years

Text

The Dresden Files - an overall review

(There are very very minor spoilers, but I mostly wanted to write something non-spoilery about the series as a whole.)

The Dresden Files. I knew a few things about this series before I went into reading it in part because I had watched Daniel Greene’s YouTube video about why people should read it and I won’t lie and say that I didn’t go on Goodreads, look at how long the series is and then question if I actually wanted to read it and wanted to spend months and months going through the books. But, I had nothing else that was pressing on my TBR list and my library had Storm Front on ebook available. So, I gave it a chance. I am so glad I did. I think I finished that first book in two days and I rolled right into reading Fool Moon pretty much as soon as I finished Storm Front.

I didn’t expect to like it as much as I ended up liking it. I didn’t expect to read the series as quickly as I did. But here we are. The thing about Dresden Files is that it’s the type of story that starts off small and then evolves into something much bigger. After all, the first few books can almost be read as standalones because while there is consistency of character, largely the events of each really remain within the scopes of each book aside from a few minor details. This is why at first glance Dresden to me seemed like a procedural leaning towards a pulp-fiction style of storytelling which I was okay with even though from the aforementioned YouTube video, I was aware that that would change as the series went on.

Back when I was a kid, one of my favorite shows was Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And Dresden has been one of the few things that reminds me of BTVS, although I’d wager that Dresden more closely resembles the BTVS spin-off Angel more. I think it’s this resemblance that made me eager to keep reading. That and knowing that the books weren’t as simple as first presented.

The things I love about it:

I love how simple and yet complicated it is all at once. It’s simple because the concept can be summed up in two words: wizard detective. You really don’t need a whole lot more to describe it. And yet as the books go on the world is expanded and suddenly things are more connected than you once thought and there are different levels of power at play as well as factions and magical creatures and politics in the middle of all of it. This just makes the world so much richer and interesting and fantastical while still keeping the roots of the human world.

I love the characters. There is no character in this series that isn’t complex and flawed. They are very very human even when they’re not actually human and it is very easy to relate to one or more of them. Not every character is likable, but many — even the villains — are. And to go off of that, it is the relationships between the characters and the growth of that over the course of the books that makes this series worth reading.

The mythology that is weaved into the story is great too. There is so much that comes right out of myth and adapted to fit into the world of Dresden and I am just in awe of how well Butcher manages to fit all the different things into one world from characters to artifacts and story and then also weave it into his own additions and his own changes to fit with his story. I’m aware that Fool Moon has a lot of criticism, but one cannot ignore the work that went into depicting all the different werewolf myths in one book. Then you also have the three courts of Vampires, the Sidhe, and characters like Odin, as well as archangels, and so much more.

The writing is also good. I think one of the best parts about it is that Butcher has gotten better and better with every book. His descriptions are vivid and he does so well when it comes to magical battles and action. And it’s very easy to read and get just sucked into the world in part because the books are written in first person POV.

As far as representation goes, it isn’t amazing, but there is some and specifically, there are a lot of women in positions of power which is always enjoyable to read.

All of this does not mean the books aren’t without their flaws. No one thing can be perfect (except Black Sails…), there is always some problematic aspect to a work or something that doesn’t appeal to everyone. Some might say that Dresden Files has a lot of problematic things going on.

The number one glaring thing is the way that Harry talks about women. It’s not that he doesn’t respect women or think that women can be strong and capable — I mean, he literally has Murphy there to remind him — it’s that the male gaze is so very very prevalent throughout the entire series. It’s like Butcher and Harry through him, cannot help but notice how beautiful or sensual or sexy any woman that crosses his path is. It’s understandable because we are reading the first person POV of an adult man, and even more so when we realize that sex is a big part of the supernatural world. I mean, we literally have vampires that are essentially succubi and get their “food” from sexual energy rather than drinking blood. The Sidhe all seem to be attractive and in multiple instances we see these fairies use their bodies and sensuality and like weapons to entice and seduce and overpower Harry and others.

And yet, there is a clear choice that Butcher has made here to have Harry notice every woman and describe them nipples first and then describe them again on a next encounter in the same way. Even Murphy who does get described by her stubbornness and her strength and her accomplishments and her prowess also has the attached description of how short and how cute she is and Harry does also sexualize her in his head. Susan gets similar treatment and in the first book we even get to see her throwing herself at Harry due to the imbibing of a mis-intended potion.

So, yes, this is very much the male fantasy/male gaze in action. Harry has women — mostly supernatural women — throwing themselves at him and in-book context there are reasons for this, but we’re supposed to praise Harry for how much his male libido is telling him “yes” and how he manages to somehow rise above that and not take the temptation — there’s even a scene where he literally pours ice water down his pants. And to be honest, I see the problems, but I also think it fits his character and Butcher describes the series as “Dirty Harry Potter” so what can you do.

The moment that it became truly a big problem for me was when Molly came into the picture. The first time that Harry has a scene with Molly she’s fourteen and I can’t quite remember the exact words used but I’m sure that he manages to notice her body.

Molly doesn’t return for a few more books, but when she does she’s seventeen and Harry definitely notices Molly then and while it is one thing to take notice once, he constantly goes back to noticing Molly throughout the book. Molly’s feelings during all of this is one thing in part because Molly is young and impressionable and I think most young women have crushes on older men they admire and look up to, but to continually make a point of having Harry notice Molly and be attracted to Molly is icky. It doesn’t even matter that Harry doesn’t intend to act on it and that he actively puts a stop to it when Molly tries to turn things in that direction, mostly because in books following this one Harry still always takes a moment to appreciate Molly’s appearance and not just him but other male characters.

So, yes, the sexulization aspect of the books is not the best, but I did appreciate that at least earlier on Harry is a bit demure when he is with women. His sexual acts are not described in detail. I was a bit surprised, then, when we did get slightly more graphic descriptions when it came to Harry and Murphy. It’s nothing like what you’ll find in fanfic, but it was a surprise.

And the thing that also gets me about this is how easily Harry being this way could be explained because of his past and because of how Harry relates to sex, but instead Butcher explains it by saying that Harry is repressed because he isn’t getting any so that’s why he notices every woman that comes into his life.

I will also point out that there aren’t just women supernatural beings, and that aside from Thomas who is described as the perfect man — strong and attractive and young, a lot of the male characters are a bit rougher and older and monstrous.

Now, I’m not the best person to speak on this, but religion is a bit strange in Dresden. Mostly because while we have characters like Odin and Hades show up we also have fallen angels and archangels and characters that believe in God and have faith. But we have Christian artifacts in play so I do feel like there is a bias towards Christianity.

Overall, I did enjoy these books. I think it’s a really good immersive story and that the world is interesting and ever expanding and that as a fantasy series — in particular an urban fantasy series — it is one of the best out there and I can’t wait to see where the rest of the series takes us. So I do recommend it with the caveat that it isn’t perfect and that some books are better than others but that as a whole it is an enjoyable read.

Other Meta/Reviews

#the dresden files #dresden files #review #books #long post

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unwiltingblossom · 4 years

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ur dad didn't pass the test bc he's not sapphic and any emotional interaction between girls is automatically seen as friendly, it had to be confirmed off screen bc of censorship and it's largely bc of KA that other kids' shows get to be more explicit w LGBT rep nowadays

And you’re wrong. He’s completely capable of recognizing homosexual relationships in television, and will frequently point it out or mention it even when it’s unintentional subtext. The fact of the matter is, Korrasami did not even have the level of subtext that many shows either accidentally portray or intentionally tease at with no plan to make an actual ship out of. And it wasn’t because of censorship. Nickelodeon agreed to the relationship immediately, with no caveats. Bryke actually didn’t bother to ask Nickelodeon until the final episode, and by all accounts they’d already made the episode assuming it wouldn’t be allowed - very likely with a makorra ending in mind, thus the accidental troll-teasing caused by the VAs leading up to that episode.

Now we can question why they chose to hold off on asking, whether it was just a PR stunt for a flagging show, whether they only thought of it at the last minute, or whether it was a ‘screw it, let’s ask even though we’re sure they won’t do it’ moment at the very end, but there’s definitely no question that they didn’t write the show intending to show Korrasami up until the very last episode when it was approved.

The test was not for him, but for the show. He didn’t fail. The show did, because even once it was approved and allowed to be shown and actually intended for the audience to ascertain that result, it failed to do so for someone who wasn’t already primed to see it. And by ‘primed’ I don’t mean ‘able to see gay relationships’, but ‘already having discussed the ship and knowing to look for it’.

I’d also hesitate to give KA or Bryke the credit for more same-sex relationships in cartoons, because that’s a bit like crediting JKR and Dumbledore for more same-sex relationships in YA fiction, because they did just about the same thing. The increased representation comes from a combination of things in the real world, not from a show that mostly relied on word of god to inform people there was a non-straight relationship in it.

#lok #ooc #korrasami #bryke #anti bryke #seems fair to include #as it's someone scathing toward them #anonymous #ask

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vincent-x-rin · 5 years

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On Vincent Brooks and cheating

I sometimes see Vincent being called an awful person in a general, all-encompassing sense due to cheating on Katherine.

However, I would argue that is that Vincent is more of a victim than anything else - at least in most routes.

First off, and this is the most important point, is that if there was any kind of sexual activity between Vincent and Catherine, he was raped by her.

Catherine touches Vincent without his consent, forces him to touch her without his consent, kisses him without his consent, and of course worst of all, takes advantage and has sex with him while he is blackout drunk. In other words, she has sex with him while he was not capable of giving consent, otherwise known as rape. Just all around forces herself on him.

Secondly, Catherine is literally a succubus with special demon powers. We know that Catherine has the power to transform, which causes her to take the form of Vincent’s ideal woman. She also has the ability to enter and create Vincent’s nightmares, which manipulates his psyche and causes him to behave and believe differently. If Catherine also had the ability to manipulate Vincent while he was awake, that would not be surprising at all.

Thirdly, the point of Catherine seducing Vincent is to destroy his relationship with Katherine and also cause his death. Catherine was hired by Demuzid, whose mission is to reduce the population of amab (assigned male at birth) people who are taking a while to have a committed relationship and biological children with a woman. So Vincent is a victim of this plot, simply because he was seen as hesitating too much to marry Katherine and father children with her.

Lastly, Catherine literally threatens to either kill herself or kill Vincent if she finds out that there’s another person in Vincent’s life. Now I always felt like Vincent was intimidated by Catherine from the onset, but now it’s taken to the extreme where he fears someone will die if he comes clean. This also dials up the non-consensual nature of any sex or interactions they may have, because Vincent is afraid Catherine will kill him if she is made unhappy. And in this scene where Catherine threatens his death, she also starts biting him hard without consent. Vincent is a victim of domestic abuse. Vincent is terrified of Catherine.

Now I want to add a caveat that since sex is not actually shown in the game between Vincent and Catherine, it’s possible that they never even had sex in non-Catherine routes and she is simply tricking him into believing that he did.

So, my final opinion is that Vincent either never had sex with Catherine or he was raped by her. In either case, she sexually assaulted him, threatened his life, and tried to kill him.

I don’t think it’s necessarily totally unreasonable to ultimately fault Vincent for not breaking up with Katherine and/or Catherine sooner, but he was put in an extremely stressful situation that was literally intended to kill him.

#catherine game #catherine spoilers #catherine game spoilers #catherine full body #catherine full body spoilers #catherine: full body #catherine: full body spoilers #spoilers #vincent brooks #dumizid #rape #rape tw

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zen3to5 · 4 years

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So I’ve finished Season 7 of That 70s Show.

...It’s better than Season 6.

I mean that sincerely. Like with Season 5, I find myself out of step with a fair amount of commentary that I’ve read about T7S when it comes to the penultimate season. For how bad Season 6 was - and it’s still shocking to me how steep a fall the back half of that season was from a consistent five-year high, and how demoralizing it was for my interest in finishing the rewatch and this rewrite project - I really do think Season 7 was something of a recovery. The damage done couldn’t be wholly ignored, and this year more than any before it was sloppy and airheaded about the show’s (admittedly always somewhat loose) continuity. But I do think this season’s writing was - for the most - part improved. And whether they intended it this way or not, I find that it tries to make lemonade out of a few of the lemons left by Season 6.

The best example of that is Eric. Season 7 continues its predecessor’s trend of treating Eric as the group loser, with “Angie” probably being the absolute worst example of this. His interest in roller disco in the first place, and his dabbling in such left-field hobbies as butterfly hunting, aren’t a great fit for his character either. And his going off to Africa by the end smacks of desperation on the part of writers looking to give their main character a big and permanent exit from the series in the face of Fox’s last-minute, ill-conceived renewal. But this season also attempts to work with what’s happened to Eric up to this point. It acknowledges the fact that he used to be a more driven and ambitious character, tries to retroactively create a story wherein Eric’s changes come from a fear and uncertainty over his future, and gets him to a career path that - if not the first (or second) thing that comes to mind for him - isn’t unfeasible either. The execution of all of this is hit and miss, and there are arguably more misses (though none as bad as his decision on his wedding last season) - but I applaud the staff for trying.

I also applaud them landing on a better less bad way of writing Red and Kitty. They’re a long way from the healthy couple and responsible parents we saw in the show’s early years, or the motivated conflict of Season 5. But - and this may be a case of perception more than raw facts - things seem less negative here than in Season 6. At least there isn’t a mini-arc of Red lusting after another woman. And the bickering and resigned attitude towards marriage seem lessened, if not lost. There’s even a new (if grossly neglected) angle for Red this season as he goes into business for himself, something I enjoyed. On the other hand, having Red blow Eric’s college money on that business is ridiculous... but stinkers like that litter the last few episodes of this season, and we’ll get into another shortly.

Sticking to the positives for now - after having almost no growth whatsoever (but little derailment) in Season 6, Hyde now has an arc. His having a secret, rich real dad is a soap-opera contrivance that I go back and forth on - it’s either dumb but effective, or effective but dumb. It’s also rather redundant; for an orphan, Hyde never lacked for father figures in the show, Red more than anyone else, and I don’t think WB brings a lot new out of Hyde as a father. But as a charismatic businessman who brings Hyde into the corporate world (and then running a record store), he does a lot for Hyde, and makes for a charming character in his own right (something I can’t say for Angie; I find her to be Brooke 2.0, and without any chemistry with either her half-brother or her boyfriend.) Hyde’s whole arc in the front half of the season - entering into a professional world he’s never wanted anything to do with, finding a more suitable job at the record store, but ending up unnerved by impending adulthood and regressing in his personal relationships - not only puts him into new situations and draws out fresh but believable reactions from him, it nicely parallels Eric’s arc. Hyde being a more reserved character, it’s only ever directly stated by Donna, and one could argue the transition needed to be stretched out and in more direct focus. But one can at least see an arc here, and I think it’s reasonably well-executed - on a back-half T7S scale, but even without that caveat, it’s decently done.

Of course, Hyde’s arc runs him into conflict with Jackie, and it’s depressing to think that she has more development this season than the previous one - y’know, the one where the mother who abandoned her rolled back into town. Jackie’s arc is a variation on a theme we’ve seen from her before - rushing to maturity. But while in earlier seasons that manifested as Jackie childishly playing at “adult” things like fancy dinner parties, here she really is more mature, and more honestly longing for commitment from Hyde and a future beyond the Formans’ basement. But with Jackie, I think the lack of build-up is a serious problem. While she gets excited by Hyde’s new job, there really isn’t any clear sign of how ready she is for life after high school until “Winter.” There’s certainly not enough build-up to her wanting a promise for (eventual) marriage, though I can believe Jackie would want that. And while Jackie’s interest in working in local news television was mentioned here and there throughout the show, her actually getting her own program comes out of nowhere and gets hardly any development - a shame, because I think that’s a believable career for her.

As for her and Hyde’s relationship... I don’t hate what’s done here. For all the negative commentary I’ve read about it, I don’t find “Winter” that bad an episode. It’s not great, and one could argue Hyde should be past the stage where he pulls something that childish with his significant other, but that’s part of Hyde’s whole arc. And I think their break-up this season comes from a convincing conflict. The episodes they spend apart - “Street Fighting Man” in particular - have some of the most heartfelt expressions of feeling from either character, even without the other seeing it. But the way they get back together is just awful. It’s sloppier than their first make-up at the beginning of Season 6, and even by this season’s standards, it makes a mess of continuity. And, after getting them back together, the show takes a few episodes to present them as a strong couple, a few to tread water, and then goes into the ultimatum, a mini-arc just as contrived as Eric’s going to Africa, and almost certainly a victim of hasty rewrites after the renewal. The contrivance of Jackie not having a car so that Kelso can get involved and revive the love triangle is all sorts of nonsense from these characters at this point, and it’s such a lousy way to effectively end - even without Season 8 - what was the emotional highlight of the show from Season 5 onward.

Speaking of Kelso - there’s not much to say about him in this season. Continuing on from a trend in Season 6 I didn’t fully realize until now, he’s less broad and wild than in earlier seasons. He’s still cartoonishly dim, but a more mellow dim. The birth of his daughter, and his earning the right to have her on weekends, gives him a bit of development at the beginning and end of the season (until it’s derailed in the final episode.) That leaves a long stretch in the middle where there’s nothing but Kelso’s Greatest Hits - a retread of his womanizing with Angie, a retread of the “dumb guy, brainy gal” dynamic with Angie, some funny bromance with Fez, some generic stupidity - nothing we haven’t seen before, and none of it carried off with the same gusto and energy as before.

Donna doesn’t have much going on either. She has less going on than Kelso, really. After dying her hair and rededicating herself to feminism, that’s pretty much it. Almost nothing of note happens for her as an individual, and she and Eric tread water in their relationship until he announces his trip to Africa. One could argue that her static status as an individual makes some sense; she had declared in Season 6 that she didn’t see the need to go to college since she had the sort of job she was going to college for; if you buy that (and I don’t, but it happened) then you could reasonably say she’s settled into life, for now anyway. And there is an attempt to have her and Eric sort out what happened at the end of Season 6 that is somewhat convincing. But not wholly. And after Season 6 - and with how rote and, frankly, in the background their relationship is for most of this season - it’s hard to root for Eric and Donna at this point. The only reason their relationship still holds up is the goodwill built up over the first five seasons, and it’s a miracle Season 6 left any of that for Season 7 to tread with.

And then there’s Fez, who I’ve really come to hate in these later seasons. I can appreciate that the shy, naive, and malleable foreign kid from the beginning of the season couldn’t (and shouldn’t) have lasted forever, and Seasons 3 through 5 did a decent job expanding on his character. But Season 6 took an element that had, frankly, always been there to some degree - perverted voyeurism - injected a lot of selfish bratiness, and made a mess of the character. Season 7, where Fez is concerned, makes things even worse by adding a really disturbing confidence and comfortability to Fez with just how much of a pervert he is. His attempts to coerce some action from both Donna and Jackie go well past what I can buy those girls putting up with from him, and his “dark room switch” proposal is absolutely terrible. A good portion of this show’s humor about sex hasn’t aged well, but Fez more than any other character has been cast in a bad light because of that, and I’m happy to cut my rewatch off at Season 7 just so I don’t need to see more of him.

To continue on the negatives, the whole show at this point has a listlessness to it that wasn’t present even in Season 6. I’m not surprised this was once intended as the last season, because it’s hard not to get the feeling that everyone was done. This may be another case of perception outweighing the facts, but the impression I have of Season 7 is that, compared to earlier seasons, there are a greater number of scenes, scenes are more fast-paced, and consequently, very few things can build the way they used to. That takes away from earnest and dramatic moments the most, but it hurts the comedy as well. And it also means that, for the first time, the season finale doesn’t even feel like a finale. It feels like just another episode that happens to end on a stupid cliffhanger. And that’s just lame.

The most frustrating thing is that the pieces in the last few episodes - Eric deciding to be a teacher, Jackie’s job offer and her ultimatum to Hyde, Kelso and Fez getting an apartment - could have added up to an effective series finale if the show had more energy left in it, and if Fox hadn’t renewed them. And I’ll certainly try to prove that with this rewrite....

#z's crits #that 70s show #critique #commentary

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burnouts3s3 · 5 years

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Valkyrie Drive: Mermaid, a review

(Disclaimer: The following is a non-profit unprofessional blog post written by an unprofessional blog poster. All purported facts and statement are little more than the subjective, biased opinion of said blog poster. In other words, don’t take anything I say too seriously.) Just the facts 'Cause you're in a Hurry! Manufacturer’s Suggested Retail Price (MSRP): 50 USD Digital Copy (MSRP): 17.99 USD How much I paid: 50 USD. Animation Studio: ARMS Licensed and Localized by: Funimation Entertainment Audio: Japanese Audio with Subtitles and English Dub available. English Cast: Kayla Hardwick as Mamori, Morgan Garrett as Mirei, Brittney Karbowski as Meifon, Janelle Lutz as Akira Hiragi, Monica Rial as Charlotte Scharsen, Roseanne Palmer as Kasumi Shigure, Tia Ballard as Rain Hasumi, Jamie Marchi as Lady J and Cynthia Cranz as Torino. Number of Episodes: 12 Episodes Length per Episode: 25 Minutes on average. 21 Without Intro and Ending song. Number of Discs: 4 Discs in Total. 2 DVD Discs and 2 Blu-ray discs. Episodes per Disc: Episodes 1-7 on the 1st DVD disc. Episodees 8-12 on the 2nd DVD disc. Episodes 1-9 on the first Blu-ray disc with Episodes 10-12 on the second Blu-ray disc along with the special features. Does this come a digital voucher to redeem?: No. This only has the Physical DVD and Blu-ray discs. Also on: Amazon Video, Funimation Now, Funimation’s streaming service that requires a subscription. Bonus Features: Textless Openings, Textless Ending and Trailers for other Funimation Licensed Shows. Episode 3 Commentary. Notable Localization Changes: Meifon, the smuggler character who wears a pink cowboy hat, is given a southern accent by her voice performer, Brittney Kowbalski. My Personal Biases: I never really invested in the Valkyrie Drive franchise before and never played any of the games the anime is adapting. Sorry. My Verdict: Trashy, lurid, gaudy and with enough fanservice to make even the most perverted of us blush, Valkyrie Drive: Mermaid is sure to give its intending audience the happy ending they want. It’s too bad that in 12 short episodes, there’s just not enough there, emotionally or lore wise, to get invested in unless you’ve already have backhand knowledge of the games. Wait for a sale. A/N: Okay, since I don’t want the moderators to flag this post, I’m going to have to put an explicit warning here. So while I won’t post any nudity, I will have to Age restrict this post just so I don’t get any flak. Valkyrie Drive: Mermaid. a review

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Girls from all over the world have been infected with a mysterious virus known as the A Virus (Armed Virus). These girls are divided into two classes; Extars, who can transform into weapons when sexually aroused, and Liberators, who have the power to wield an Extar's weapon form, known as Liberator Arms, through a process known as Drive. These girls are brought to separate islands to spend their days completely isolated from the rest of the world until the islands' Observers, authorized by the government Organisation AAA, ostensibly deem them ready to rejoin society again. Valkyrie Drive: Mermaid follows an Extar named Mamori Tokonome who forms a partnership with the Liberator Mirei Shikishima on the island called Mermaid.(For our friends not fluent in Japanese, Tokonome shares a very similar writing as the word ‘Virgin’ in Japanese, which Togonome is.). Mamori and Mirei are caught between a conflict between the Wärter, the island’s government that lives the castle, Veste, and those fleeing it. With Governor Akira (a supposed male Liberator that’s actually female) trying to be fair, Charlotte getting delusions of grandeur and wanting to rule with an iron fist and Kasumi attempting to be fair to the girls, the Wärter is in constant conflict. Those attempting to flee join up with Ms. Torumi, a kind soul who offers shelter for girls looking for freedom. Meanwhile, a sneaky smuggler by the name of Meifon is trying to earn a profit from the war. Along the way, Mamori and Mirei meet other Liberators and Extars, such as the team Lady J and Lady Rain in which one transforms into a ridable motorcycle. Other liberators, such as Charlotte, have their own harem of Extars and arouse multiple ones to form a multi-part weapon. Let’s get this out of the way. Yes, it IS in fact Soul Eater but with Lesbians. And the show isn’t afraid of being explicit about it. We are talking full-on nudity with lots of exposed breasts flopping around, bouncing and lots and lots of shots of nipples erecting… and hardening… Christ, this makes fanservice driven series like Kannazuki no Miko or Strawberry Panic look like the chaste Maria-Sama ga Miteru. On the technical side, everything is very well done. The animation for both the action and fanservice scenes is well animated, the music flows scene to scene (even if I couldn’t really remember any pieces that stood out) and the voice acting for both the Original Japanese and English dub is well-done. So, if you’re looking for lots and lots of scenes of girls kissing each other, breasts flopping around with the viscosity of jello and scenes of action with naked girls, have I got a show for you. Story wise, I found the series rather lacking. Seasonal shows really need to be careful with their pacing. With a limited 12 episode run, VD:M is already bursting at the seams with an overly long 4 episode prologue establishing the characters, the setting, the divide between the girls going along with Charlotte and Akira’s lawful order, Kasumi’s wavering allegiance and Torumi’s group of rebels and Meifon’s smuggling between the 2 sides. There’s a sense of urgency that the peace can’t last and conflict is unavoidable. But, not so urgent that we couldn’t have two light-hearted episodes involving one girl becoming Kaiju sized and another episode with a beauty contest in a cultural festival.

Boy, this season of Attack on Titan got WEIRD. When the main big bad does rear her head near the final 4 episodes, the show does a good ‘enough’ job establishing the backstory between her and Mirei, but you get the sense that maybe, had the show paced itself better, it would mean more. Yes, the final battle with all the girls joining together at the end is impressive to look at, but emotionally, I just wasn’t feeling it. If the show were as committed to giving me emotional turning points as it was fan service, I would’ve been more impressed. The characters are also rather lacking (writing wise). While Mirei is certainly admirable and one of the most likable of the cast, Mamori doesn’t really change much (character wise). Granted, the show pays lipservice (no pun intended) to the idea that the more courageous Mamori is, the more powerful the weapon she becomes, but there’s never that moment where Mamori ‘saves’ Mirei or gives her the comfort Mirei needs like the way Himeko comforted Chikane at the end. They instead fuse to one super being. It feels like at one point Mamori was supposed to have the final turning point and be the one to rescue Mirei, but Mamori just ends up being captured and put into the damsel role again. I also liked Kasumi and her dubious allegiance with the rebels as well as Meifon, getting into all sorts of trouble for some cash. I’m told by fans of the franchise that in peripheral media, some of the other couples get more character development. For example, the team of Lady Rain and Lady J were actually on opposite sides of a war but intentionally got themselves captured just to be together or that Governor Akira actually has a female lover back on the mainland and longs to be with her. Again, I am not here to judge what’s in an appendix. What’s in the show is in the show and it’s clear the TV producers weren’t interested in those stories to begin with, so why should I? Funimation Entertainment did the localization for the show. And for the most part, the dub script stays as close as it does to the original Japanese version. Granted, Funimation has always played it loose with dubbing scripts and this is no exception. The English script contains lots of innuendos and sex jokes to make the English viewers chuckle (i.e. “I caught and she pitched.” “Let’s go digging for treasure” “I’m gonna let it all hang out!”) Karbowski adopts a southern accent for Meifon so thick, I thought I was listening to Nico Robin from the 4Kids dub of One Piece. (I’m aware that localizers tend to translate those with Kansai dialect and give them a Southern accent and Karbowski seems to be doing this accent winking to the audience and having fun with it). Special credit should go to Janelle Lutz as Akira Hiragi, managing to perform dual roles as both masculine and feminine variations of the character. The rest of the cast does a good job voicing their perspective roles. Monica Rial does with she can with Charlotte and Cynthia Cranz as Torumi seems to especially fit the role of a motherly caretaker for lost girls. (Yes, I find the fact that one of the characters is voiced by the same performer as Chi-chi and Botan very disconcerting). THE ORIGINAL JAPANESE AUDIO WITH SUBTITLES IS AVAILABLE FOR THOSE WHO PREFER IT. The package includes the OVAs (Original Video Animation) which are short videos of each of the girls revealing motivation and backstory as well as a lot of nudity with nipples becoming more and more erect. Lots of them. What’s weird is that the OVAs are also dubbed with the cast members. Funimation didn’t even dub the OVA for Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid. CAVEAT: It’s very strange that the series suddenly wants to take a more dramatic turn with emphasis on character development and history, but still plays out in a very fanservice driven anime. In some ways, I was enjoying the show more when it wasn’t really about anything and just amped the fanservice up to 11. With the exception of a few characters, I wasn’t invested in the goings on and 12 episodes is too short for me to have nostalgic feelings for Mermaid Island. For 50 USD, Valkyrie Drive: Mermaid is a bit on the steep end. While the animation, music, fight scenes and… PLOT are all well done, emotionally, it doesn’t have much to offer. Then again, I don’t expect emotional substance out of show where half the teenagers become sexually aroused and transform into weapons. Those looking for a happy ending (in both senses of the term) will enjoy this. Verdict: Wait for a sale or rental.

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#valkyrie drive mermaid #valkyrie drive #mamori #mirei #extar #liberator #funimation #morgan garrett #monical rial

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talix18 · 5 years

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November 8

(There's a lot of padding in there.)

I have no free time today in front of a keyboard so I should be writing. Or working. Or listing all the things I forgot as I was half-heartedly packing. Or listing all the things I need to do before I leave so Mom isn’t disgusted when she comes to take care of the cats (Clean The Toilet). I managed to overpack without buying anything new but predictably, am not happy with any of it. This is one of my least favorite qualities about myself. Mom always hated shopping for jeans with me but I find my resistance to packing is incredibly annoying. I’m good at making sure the laundry is done so all of my options are open, but terrible at knowing what I will want to wear once I’m wherever.

I also managed to completely overlook shampoo and body wash on my first round of packing, which doesn’t bode well.

Is there some kind of rule against contractions I don’t know about? Word keeps putting blue squiggly lines under my contractions as if I don’t know what they are. I understand that writing all the words out will boost my count, but it’s not how people tend to talk.

Among the amenities at the retreat center where I’ll be this weekend is a working farm with baby animals. Yes, please, I would like to play with all of the baby animals. When life is complicated and ugly, baby animals are easy and adorable. My sister will be jealous when she sees the pictures with which I intend to spam her.

My sister is one of my best friends and I’m grateful for her every day. I’m not sure she would have chosen the way our lives have played out this far, but she is also unmarried and child-free (that part I’m pretty sure she’s okay with). If she dates, she doesn’t talk about it much with me, but I haven’t seen her in a relationship in over ten years. It was a brutal one. First love, first boyfriend, first break-up all in her mid-20s. Although my romantical adventures have been largely, um, unsuccessful, I am glad I got used to the idea of heartbreak young. (Even the song that turned me from a pop princess to a rock goddess was “Bringin’ On The Heartbreak” [MTV was born when I was in eighth grade and was my obsession for the next five years.])

Def Leppard is how I met my first boyfriend! We were in ninth grade, he was in my homeroom (both of our last names start with “H”), and he was wearing a tour shirt promoting the band’s second album. I was entranced. “You’ve seen them?” (Wanders off down a Randy Rhoads rabbit-hole.) I remember the conversation included something about Ozzy Osbourne and Randy Rhoads; either he’d seen them or was supposed to right after Randy died. Wikipedia tells me that Def Leppard opened for Ozzy at Merriweather, which is probably where A saw them; Randy Rhoads and all. (Now I am irrationally jealous at missing a show 38 years ago.) That’s probably where he got the shirt that made me talk to him; the shirt I made him leave with me when he moved away.

I should probably blame all my romantic misadventures on Def Leppard. They were a “heavy metal” (The lead singer joked “light alloy”) band that appealed to a slightly rougher crowd than I hand previously hung with. A introduced me to drinking beer in the woods by the elementary school (I was all of 13 or 14). The cops came and we ran to his apartment – his bedroom was on the ground floor and we climbed in through the window. We made out for a while to the Scorpions’ “Lovedrive”. A was a bad boy, and it took me a long time to get the taste for them out of my mouth.

A called every few months and my stomach would do flips at the sound of his voice. Did he ever actually say he was coming back for me or did I just make that part up?

My next boyfriend showed up when I was a senior and wreaked havoc on and off for the next seven years. He was a serial cheater and a pathological liar against which I had absolutely no defenses. I was a goody-goody. Teacher’s pet type. There was a pivotal moment one adolescent summer when the decision I made set the course for the rest of my life. I was hanging out in town with one of the tougher girls and her friends, trying to figure out how to smoke, and noticed it was 9:15. Curfew was 9:30, and I was easily a mile from home. I knew that showing up late would mean trouble. Was I going to say “fuck it” and keep hanging out?

I ran my ass off to make it home on time. Goody-goody. This probably kept me out of a lot of future trouble.

I fell hard for S – he was charming and charismatic and sang “Dixie Chicken” and made me laugh. He went to the Catholic boys’ school and was friends with my friend MB’s older brother. By that time I was solidly British pop new wave with some hard rock on the side (much like MTV itself). For the next absurd amount of years either he cheated on me or with me – he knew I would always be there. Until the night when he told me that he knew I was never going to find anyone who loved him like I did and he was ready to commit, but he had to tell me something first. His ex was pregnant and it was his. That was it for me. Finally. “Dixie Chicken” still gets me, as does the taste of Marlboro Reds and Bazooka bubble gum. (I started smoking when he broke up with me the first time.)

After my first college boyfriend (a good guy who is still married to the woman he dated after we broke up), I decided I wasn’t going to let anyone get close anymore. I was done with love; I was going to be one of those distant women who could never be possessed and never get hurt. I imagined veils and fog. If it was good enough for Stevie, it was good enough for me. At that time the idea of “if you want what someone has, do what they do” didn’t include the caveat of perhaps “asking if it was what they wanted and would they make the same choices again.” (I’m not saying Stevie’s not happy with her life, but 30 years ago she may have gently steered me another way.)

My old team leader just came by to chat and now my roll is slowed. She and I have worked together since I started here 17 years ago. My mind is starting to wander since I’m out of here soon.

I do want a partner – for practical reasons as well as romantic ones. I hate thinking that all the good sex is behind me, for one thing. It would be awesome to have help around the house – to have someone motivated to get something done when I just can’t get it in gear. (Much like this writing day. It was so easy yesterday!) (Five hundred more! Push through!)

I’m already annoyed because I’m not going to get my active minutes in today. It’s hard to be compulsive and unmotivated at the same time. I hate the feeling of being rushed – of not having enough time to get everything done. I want to get on the road before 4:30 because it’s Friday rush hour and I’m going around the beltway but I also want to clean the bathroom, scoop the litterboxes, and collect all of the paraphernalia I’ve forgotten to pack. It will be ridiculous if I have to level up a suitcase to go to a yoga retreat. Which is going to be interrupted by my service commitment, which is my decision, but ugh. I would prefer not to.

I’ve had an absurd amount of coffee today! The ideas should be flying out of me!

But where does a forty-ten-year-old meet people if not at work? There are people in all the meetings I go to but hardly any I’m interested in dating. My current working theory of relationships is that you should to the things that interest you. Whomever you meet along the way will have at least one interest in common. The problem with this theory is that carried to its logical conclusion, I’ve been in the wrong place for the past blah blah years. I must not be doing what I should be doing if I’m not meeting people I’m attracted to.

I mean, I know it’s all a crapshoot and our lives are run just as much by chance as by anything else. I can’t even complain about the cards I’ve been giving because I am way privileged. That’s something it took me way too long to figure out. I am a white woman who has always been housed and clothed and fed. I’m cis, I’m mostly heterosexual, and my body still does almost everything I ask of it. I have very little room to complain. I know that complaining about mental illness is something of a luxury – look at all the things going right that would otherwise take priority.

I have to thank the Internet for introducing me to people I would have never met otherwise. Yes, there are many cons to this big-data-driven lifestyle and I panic when my smart phone stops working. Social media absolutely has its negatives, but the people that I’ve met there are none of them. I met my first collection of Webpeeps thanks to FARK.com, but it was LiveJournal and Tumblr that expanded my world view.

(Does one last sentence complaining about being short on word count count as more words? I feel like it’s been all stops and starts today after the Randy Rhoads rabbit hole.)

(P.S. I’m ready to go - plus one big bag - at 3:50. I am the worst.)

#nanowrimo #f**k fifty

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howwelldoyouknowyourmoon · 5 years

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Cult Conversion, Deprogramming, and the Triune Brain

Geri-Ann Galanti, Ph.D. California State University, Los Angeles, California

https://www.icsahome.com/articles/cult-conversion-deprogram-galanti

Abstract

This article presents a theoretical analysis of cult conversion and deprogramming based on the model of the triune brain. During participant observation at a Unification Church training camp, the author found, to her surprise, that her intellect was unaffected; the “brainwashing” affected her emotionally (limbic system). Cult life involves much ritual behavior (Rcomplex) but de-emphasizes intellectual processes (neocortex). Interviews with deprogrammers indicated that their goal is to get the cultist to see contradictions between cult doctrine and practice —in essence, stimulating the neocortex. Thus, cult conversion and deconversion emphasize different parts of the brain.

Several years ago I worked on a project on cult conversion and deprogramming. I spent time talking to deprogrammers and former cult members, and briefly stayed at a Unification Church training camp. Recently, in the process of preparing for a class I teach on the evolution of emotions, I read Carl Sagan’s The Dragons of Eden (1977), which is based upon Paul MacLean’s (1973) model of the triune brain. It gave me a new way of understanding what goes on during cult conversion and deprogramming. I would like to share my thoughts on that subject.

Before I begin, one caveat: Much of what I write is speculative and an oversimplification. Certainly, all parts of the brain are involved in most behavior. What I am suggesting is an emphasis on certain portions of the brain during certain types of activities. I do not intend this paper to be a neurological analysis of what occurs during cult conversion and deprogramming, but rather another perspective we can use in examining the phenomena.

The neurological approach may be useful in understanding those aspects of cult conversion and deconversion that do not readily submit to psychological analyses, for example, chanting’s sometimes puzzling effects, the development of phobias, and “triggers.” The neurological approach may also help account for the compelling quality of certain intense cult conversion experiences, such as those commonly associated with the Unification Church.

The Triune Brain

For those who are unfamiliar with the triune model, it simply suggests that the brain has three basic components, which evolved phylogenetically. In other words, as new classes and orders of animals evolved, natural selection worked to elaborate upon the form of the existing brain, adding to it, rather than creating a completely new version.

The oldest and most primitive is the Rcomplex, or reptilian brain. The four basic drives “feeding, fleeing, fighting, and sex” are based in the reptilian brain. It is the site of instinctive as opposed to learned behavior. Sagan suggests that ritualized behavior has its basis in the Rcomplex. Although in animals, much ritualized behavior is instinctive, learned rituals may also be located in the Rcomplex. They may be created in the neocortex, but once behaviors become ritualized, conscious thought is suspended. Chanting, for example, shuts off the conscious mind. Perhaps the reptilian brain takes over.

The second component of the triune brain is the limbic system, or mammalian brain. It is the primary site of the emotions. It contains the thalamus (the relay station for all information passed to the cerebral hemispheres), the hypothalamus (which regulates many functions, including hunger, thirst, sleep, heart rate, hormones, and the autonomic nervous system), the amygdala (associated with emotional memories), the pituitary (the master gland), and the hippocampus (which stores spatial memories).

The third component of the triune brain is the neocortex, generally thought of as the “thinking brain,” or the intellect. It contains the frontal, parietal, occipital, and temporal lobes. The frontal lobe is involved in decision making and anticipation of the future. The temporal lobes are associated with language, perceptual tasks, hearing, and memory store. The parietal lobes are related to spatial perception. The occipital lobe houses the visual sense.

Sagan (1977) summarizes the relationship between the triune brain and human nature as follows: the ritualistic and hierarchical aspects of our lives are influenced by the reptilian brain; the emotional, religious, and altruistic parts are largely localized in the limbic system; and the intellectual parts of our lives, those concerned with reason, are a function of the neocortex.

Brainwashing/Cult Conversion

Several years ago I wrote a paper on brainwashing based on my experiences at a Unification Church (“Moonie”) training camp (Galanti, 1984). I noted that to my surprise, the “brainwashing” that took place did not affect my intellect. I sat through a total of nine hours of lecture on Unification Church doctrine. As I sat there listening, I naïvely kept monitoring my brain for signs of brainwashing. There were none. With the zeal of a professional graduate student, I was able to silently critique both the content of the lectures and the methods of presentation.

I observed that the leaders began and ended each lecture by having the group sing a moving song. That felt good. It surrounded the whole lecture with an upbeat, positive feeling. (Thus, they began and ended the lectures by stimulating the limbic system.)

I noted that they allowed no questions. We were to “learn” the material, not question it. The lecturers spoke very quickly and wrote a lot on the board. There was no time to think. Everyone was too busy copying down the material. I asked one of the longterm members if she got bored listening to the same lectures over and over. She said no, that she heard something new each time. No wonder. We were given so much information that there was no time to really hear or process anything. Thus, even the part of the training that is ostensibly devoted to neocortical type learning actually involves very little thought.

So, I wasn’t brainwashed “if the term refers to our intellectual processes. But the Moonies did get to me. I had arranged to have a friend and former member pick me up from the camp. I remember saying to him afterwards, “I had a great time. Remind me again what’s so bad about the Moonies.”

The next day I was interviewing a former member of the Unification Church who had become a deprogrammer. I spent an hour or so asking her about her experiences as a cult member. Then I switched to the topic of deprogramming. I asked how she went about deprogramming someone. She looked me straight in the eye and said, “Exactly the way I’m doing with you right now.” I was stunned. I didn’t need deprogramming. I didn’t believe their doctrine. Yet, I, who had read many accounts of the abuses of the Unification Church, who had heard tales of horror from the mouths of several ex-members, yes, I had to be reminded “what was so bad about the Moonies.”

They had gotten to me, all right. But it wasn’t through my intellect. They got to me emotionally. (In other words, through the limbic system, not the neocortex.) And the emotional truth was far stronger than the intellectual one. I liked the people there. I had fun. We sang songs and played games and acted like children. I didn’t have to think about anything. They made all the decisions for me. My neocortex got a vacation.

Cults often emphasize ritual chanting, meditation, or prayer. It is well known that repetition induces trancelike altered states of consciousness. It is not clear how such altered states fit into the model of the triune brain, but since they are produced through the use of patterned, ritualized behavior, they appear to involve the reptilian brain more than the neocortex. Many scholars who have studied the process of cult conversion (e.g., Appel 1983; Clark, Langone, Schecter, & Daly, 1981; Conway & Siegelman, 1978) note that the self-induced trances impair neocortical functioning. In other words, trance states stop you from thinking.

The Moonies use a technique called “love bombing,” which certainly affected me on an emotional level. Love bombing basically consists of telling people how wonderful they are. For example, one morning “Jane” said to me, “You know, Geri, you’re really one of the most open people I’ve ever met. You don’t put up any defenses. You’re really open. I think that’s so great.” When she said this, part of my mind went on alert: love bombing, love bombing. But the other part thought, “Well, yes, but it really is true. She probably really means it.” In any case, it made me feel good. Intellectually, I realized what she was doing; emotionally, I bought it.

Jane showed me a letter written to her by one of her church “sisters.” It was very emotional. She told me that the letters that Unification Church members write to each other were much more meaningful than the shallow ones her birth sister writes. Those, she said, tend to be about daily events. Her church sisters write about their feelings. It was clear that in the Unification Church, feelings are more important than anything else. Members are encouraged to feel, not to think.

Margaret Singer (1979) writes about the problems faced by people coming out of cults. Among them is a severe inability to make decisions. This is not surprising. Cult members are not in the habit of making their own decisions: what to eat, when to eat, where to go, what to do, what to believe. All these and other decisions are made for them. Decision making involves the neocortex. Perhaps it is like a muscle that is weakened after disuse and needs exercise to get back into shape.

Many former members commented that they stayed in the cult out of fear. Cult doctrine teaches that the only path to salvation is through the cult. To leave is to risk eternal damnation. They were afraid of what would happen to them if they left. They were afraid of what would happen to their soul. Fear is a powerful emotion based in the Rcomplex. So, cults hook you and hold you by using the lower brain centers.

Deprogramming / Exit Counseling

I interviewed numerous deprogrammers about the process of deprogramming. The key factor they all mentioned was getting the cultist to see the contradictions in the cult doctrine and cult practices. In other words, deprogramming is largely an intellectual process. Today, exit counseling is distinguished from deprogramming by the lack of coercion. However, originally the term deprogramming referred to the process of countering the cults’ “programming,” and did not imply the use of coercion. In exit counseling, which has largely supplanted deprogramming, the emphasis is on information, again in an effort to reactivate the cult member’s critical thinking abilities. “Exit counseling is a voluntary, intensive, time-limited, contractual educational process that emphasizes the respectful sharing of information ...” (Clark, Giambalvo, Giambalvo, Garvey, & Langone, 1993, p. 155).

Steve DubrowEichel (1989) presents a near-transcript of a 5-day deprogramming. The turning point for “Ken,” the Hare Krishna who was being deprogrammed, occurred on the second day. It came when Curt, the deprogrammer, read from the official ISKCON version of the Gita. It stated that the true master’s home “is not illuminated by the sun or moon, nor by electricity.” Curt pointed out that electricity did not exist when the Gita was written. This triggered a long-repressed doubt in Ken, who said he had wondered how the saints could have written about electricity centuries before it was discovered. Prabhupada was supposed to be perfect, and here he had made an error. This discovery led Ken to find other inconsistencies in the doctrine. Curt complimented him by saying, “Hey, there you go! You’re thinking now, Jackson!” [emphasis mine] (p. 71). Ken replied, “It’s something, a thought that I never actually, I never confronted the questions in my mind because that would appear as a blasphemy” (p. 71).

In order to deprogram cultists, the deprogrammers have to get them to think again. Not feel, not react, but think. Using the triune model, the cult conversion process involves deemphasizing the neocortex in favor of the Rcomplex and limbic system, while the deconversion process emphasizes the neocortex.

Discussion

Many scholars have suggested various models of cult conversion, ranging from those that emphasize social-psychological processes (e.g., Cialdini, 1984; Galanti, 1984; Zimbardo, Ebbesen, & Maslach, 1977) to those that focus on information processing (e.g., Edwards 1979; Conway & Siegelman 1978) to those that stress the role of altered states of consciousness (e.g., Clark et al., 1981; Goldberg & Goldberg, 1982). What I am suggesting in this brief article is another way of thinking about both the process of conversion and deconversion.

I think much of the power of cult conversion comes from its use of the lower brain centers. Both Rcomplex learning and emotional learning are closely associated with survival and thus much more powerful than intellectual learning. If I am betrayed by my lover, I may never trust him “or any man” again. However, it may take me several lessons to learn to use a computer. Emotional lessons are learned far more quickly than intellectual ones. I need be bit only once by a dog to be afraid of dogs ever after. Limbic and Rcomplex learning obviously aren’t impossible to unlearn; if they were, psychotherapists would be out of business. Generally, however, it takes longer to unlearn such lessons than it does those of Anthropology 100 or Math 250.

My model focuses on MacLean’s concept of the triune brain. Both cult conversion and cult participation emphasize the use of the lower brain centers; in MacLean’s terms, the Rcomplex and the limbic system. Deprogramming, on the other hand, is designed to stimulate the neocortex. However, since the effects of Rcomplex and limbic system learning are so powerful, longer term therapy is often needed to undo the emotional damage done during the process of cult conversion. Ideally, the result of deprogramming and counseling is a reintegration of all parts of the brain.

References

Appel, W. (1983). Cults in America: Programmed for paradise. New York: Holt, Rinehart & Winston.

Cialdini, R. (1984). Influence: How and why people agree to things. New York: William Morrow.

Clark, D., Giambalvo, C., Giambalvo, N., Garvey, K., Langone, M. (1993). Exit counseling: A practical overview. In M. D. Langone (Ed.), Recovery from cults: Help for victims of spiritual and psychological abuse (pp. 155-180). New York: W. W. Norton.

Clark, J., Langone, M., Schecter, R., & Daly, R. (1981). Destructive cult conversion: Theory, research, and treatment. Weston, MA: American Family Foundation.

Conway, F., & Siegelman, J. (1978). Snapping: America’s epidemic of sudden personality change. New York: Dell.

DubrowEichel, S. (1989). Deprogramming: A case study. Cultic Studies Journal 6(2), 1-117.

Edwards, C. (1979). Crazy for God: The nightmare of cult life. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: PrenticeHall.

Galanti, G. (1984). Brainwashing and the Moonies. Cultic Studies Journal 1(1), 27-36.

Goldberg, L., & Goldberg, W. (1982). Group work with former cultists. Social Work 27, 165-170.

MacLean, P. (1973). A triune concept of the brain and behaviour. Toronto: University of Toronto Press.

Sagan, C. (1977). The Dragons of Eden. New York: Ballantine.

Singer, M. (1979, January). Coming out of the cults. Psychology Today, pp. 72 -82.

Zimbardo, P., Ebbesen, E., & Maslach, C. (1977). Influencing attitudes and changing behavior (2nd ed.). Reading, MA: AddisonWesley.

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GeriAnn Galanti, Ph.D., is on the faculty at the Department of Anthropology at California State University, Los Angeles, and at the Statewide Nursing Program at California State University, Dominguez Hills. She is the author of Caring for Patients from Different Cultures (University of Pennsylvania Press, 1991).

“Socialization techniques through which the UC members were able to influence” – Geri-Ann Galanti, Ph.D.

Take Back Your Life: Recovering From Cults & Abusive Relationships

Re-forming the Self: The Impact and Consequences of Institutional Abuse

Cult Indoctrination – and the Road to Recovery

Writings of former members Many recount their experiences in the organization or their journeys out of it

Scared of Leaving?

Moonwebs by Josh Freed

My Time with the Oakland Family – the Moonies

The Guru Papers: Masks of Authoritarian Power

conformity

Contract for Membership in a Cultic Group or Relationship

#GeriAnn Galanti #brainwashing #FFWPU #Unification Church

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gwenjoon · 7 years

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Flash Thompson is Gay: A Comprehensive Visual Essay

TRIGGER WARNINGS: alcoholism, abuse, homophobia, brief reference to The Child Within, which contains pedophilia

Over the last year and half or so, I have read a number of Spider-Man comics and have reached many conclusions about them, but my utmost conclusion is that Flash Thompson is a gay man. It is very difficult for me to label male characters as gay, since we’ve all seen the way fandom can completely brush off women in favor of imagined gay men, but once this idea took hold, it stuck. I do not see Flash as truly having been intended to be gay since his conception, or even highly coded that way like Kitty Pryde or Johnny Storm. But along the lines of Bobby Drake, I just feel that it would be the final puzzle piece that would make his 50+ years of character development make sense.

This is not intended as propaganda or a way of seeing representation where it doesn’t exist, but a simple compilation of evidence.

We begin in high school.

Flash will probably always be known as something of a high school bully, even though he was only in high school for 28 issues in the 60s. It’s still hotly debated by fans and Spider-Man writers about how MUCH of a bully he was. In Lee and Ditko’s original comics, it certainly seemed like he and Peter were more mutually antagonistic towards each other, with the caveat that Flash was popular and Peter wasn’t.

No matter what, Flash had a fanboy obsession with Spider-Man, and maybe a bit of an obsession with Peter Parker, too, something both Peter and their classmates noticed and teased him for.

There were times when Flash actually made some sort of attempts to be Peter’s friend, but Peter being Peter, and Flash being Flash, the attempts didn’t go well.

Flash was dating Liz Allan at this point. She teased Peter too, but eventually got sick of Flash berating Peter and dumped him. She then pursued a bit of a crush on Peter (which didn’t really go anywhere since Peter was pretty into Betty at this point). Flash didn’t like being dumped, but he seemed to focus more on the Peter part of this situation and ended up, like, stalking him. In a cute way.

SO Peter and Flash both get scholarships to ESU and kind of . . . accidentally become friends. How does it happen? I don’t know. They don’t even know. But it happens. Basically, Flash is friends with Gwen and Harry and they all hate Peter and Gwen starts NOT hating Peter and then Harry starts not hating Peter so Flash might as well not hate him either.

Also, Peter is kind of hot now which helps everyone adjust.

Go get friendly with him, Flash.

It’s just hard to buy Flash as being into girls when he likes men SO much. Like in Spider-Man: Blue when Gwen and MJ are dancing and probably making out and Harry, like most people who are attracted to women, thinks that’s neato, but Flash waits for his husband to return from war.

Flash goes off to the army pretty quick. Harry and Peter watch Flash make out with their girlfriends because he is nonthreatening and handsome.

When Flash comes back from the army, he is even more handsome, but he tells Gwen that he’s super into her and Gwen is like “if you loved me you’d be nice to my sexy boyfriend Peter” and Flash is like “okay” so Flash starts being nice to Peter. Real nice. It gets weird. Did a threesome happen? I don’t know. But Peter is definitely getting hot and Flash is definitely noticing.

Gwen dies. Everyone is sad, me most of all. But Flash feels the need to clarify some stuff to Peter.

They graduate, Flash and Peter move in together, two bros chillin in a hot tub, five feet apart ‘cause they’re not gay.

Peter moves out and Flash thinks Glory Grant is hot but the relationship never goes anywhere because Flash is gay and Marvel comics is racist, but then Flash moves in with Harry. Flash was LONELY, you see.

And then Flash is getting up the courage to confess his undying love to Harry when none other than Liz Allan swoops in and snatches him right from under his nose.

But it’s gonna be okay because then Flash and Peter accidentally start dating!

It might not be an accident for Flash.

In his defense, Peter really can’t just say things like that.

Also this happens. I do not generally find CPR romantic but, like, what were they going for here? The shirtlessness. The rain. The close up on the mouth to mouth. This sure was some way to frame life-saving efforts between two manly men.

So while this is all going on, Flash’s love life is getting . . . messy. I generally try not to think about it too much because it’s SO messy. Flash saves multiple young women from cults. He dates Sha Shan, cheats on her with Betty (who is in turn cheating on her vaguely abusive husband), and eventually hits Sha Shan. He is immediately horrified and runs away, Sha Shan moves out within one issue and it’s just . . . gone for decades. It went against years of character development and no one seemed to remember it happening. It might have been a way to get rid of Sha Shan (again, the racism), or a way to make you THINK Flash is Hobgoblin but surprise, it was the other abusive guy all along.

It’s really really poorly written, and a cheap plot point. Sha Shan deserved better.

Then you have the thing with Betty. It’s like, they’re cheating! they’re forbidden! they’re in love! but it . . . doesn’t go anywhere either. Betty and Flash remain friends and seem pretty happy about it, until JM DeMatteis, the brilliant mind behind Kraven’s Last Hunt, tells us all in the 90s that actually they had a horrible breakup and Betty hates him. Wild.

SO once that business no one wants to touch and everyone regrets has been pushed aside for some time, Flash starts dating again. He has a new girlfriend every week that he only seems to want to spend time with around, you guessed it, Peter Parker.

Here is an example. Flash is boxing and Blaze tries to literally have sex with him and he’s like “nah, hygiene” and then she comes onto Peter.

Indeed, Mary Jane.

Then we have FLASH/FELICIA. It’s so good. I love them. Felicia starts dating Flash as revenge against Peter. Flash really wants to double date with Peter. Felicia is at first super annoyed that Flash is so GENTLE, but she falls in love with him. She even asks him to marry her.

Flash says no.

Things Flash tells Felicia Hardy when he breaks up with her: “I wasn’t attracted by your looks” and “I thought it would be cool to be this close to someone who was that close to Spider-Man.”

These are things he tells her. They were really things he said.

While Flash is recuperating from his injuries, he starts freaking out that he and Peter aren’t actually friends (you were his best man, but you’ve never gone to a baseball game with him, so that makes sense I guess), and he starts talking about poetry. Poetry is a common way to queer code male characters. Take a look at Dead Poet’s Society or A Streetcar Named Desire.

But here’s the poem he mentions.

Make of that what you will.

Flash gets pretty depressed. Starts drinking more. He can’t make a romantic relationship stick. He’s dreaming about the glory days. This is around when the retcon of his abuse starts to pop up too.

And somewhere along the line, Peter Parker got hot.

But things do get better for him! He reconnects with his sister and goes to rehab. He and Betty reconnect because APPARENTLY they’ve been fighting and Flash is a scoundrel and there is no evidence but I guess I’ll take their word for it.

He also gets a job with Norman Osborn. Things get weird.

In The Child Within, Norman Osborn’s abuse of Harry is paralleled with an explicitly sexual physical abuse from a father towards a son. In Sins Past, The Night Gwen Stacy died will be retconned to make it so that the woman Norman Osborn murdered will have had his children. I don’t like going there, but there becomes a distinctly sexual way that Norman’s relationships with Peter’s friends is viewed.

Flash is reminding Norman about his AIDS charity.

Flash would stick with Norman night and day if he could.

Anyway.

Here’s a fantasy of Flash’s! He loves Spider-Man!

Even when he’s fantasizing about a woman, he’s actually fantasizing about a man!

Okay, I will admit I have not read every Flash appearance in 616. I’m doing this whole “in order” thing right now and I haven’t gotten to a lot of Flash/Betty stuff. Maybe it will change my mind. I doubt it, but I like to keep my options open.

Moving onto Venom. Flash has been dating Betty long-term at this point, but his secret life as a superhero is tearing them apart (she thinks he’s been drinking again). Also, he just sort of . . . self-sabotages all his relationships. Guy’s got issues.

Then we have Flash involved in an incidence of gay-bashing.

He didn’t fully understand what being gay meant. Been there, buddy.

Peter gives him the guy’s number and Flash has a chance to apologize and see two happy gay men living together.

I don’t know, okay, but a guy calls Captain America Flash’s boyfriend. It happens. It’s there.

VENOM: SPACE KNIGHT. Please read this beautiful series about overcoming the cycle of abuse and learning to love again. Things get really gay with the alien goo.

Also, Venom has like always been pretty heavily coded as being . . . some sort of sexual metaphor. David Micheline went there real hard. Eddie Brock pretty much married the symbiote, but only Flash has the guts to make him a guy.

Anything he desires. Anything at all. Whatever that might be.

Now for some Flash Thompson Looks:

Okay, let’s move onto alternate universes.

Here, we have Flash in the Secret Wars version of Spider-Island.

He loved Lizard Betty the best he could.

Avengers Academy!

Then there’s Ultimate Universe:

Love me some pen-sucking.

Not convinced? Well put this in your pipe and smoke it:

And, of course, The Amazing Spider-Man.

“Chicks dig him,” he said.

I dig him, he thought.

Was this even about Flash being gay or about me loving him deeply and endlessly? Who knows. Who cares. It’s all true.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

#marvel #flash thompson #comics #meta

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theteablogger · 7 years

Text

Michael Corner and Terry Boot

While working on the timeline, I’ve found myself digressing quite a bit to talk about Mike and Terry’s “evolving” relationship throughout DAYDverse and Andy’s meta. Rather than clutter up the timeline, I decided to post something here and simply link to it later. So I put together an outline, with fic links and excerpts and as much chronological detail as possible, of what Andy wrote about Mike and Terry over the years. It stops in 2013 because their labeling has been consistent since September 2012, and he hasn’t written any significant fic featuring these characters since the following year.

(Cut for length and NSFW content.)

April 2008 - In DAYD, Andy establishes that Mike and Terry are best friends, extremely close, and can “read each other’s minds”. Eventually, we learn that this is literally true; they use Legillimency to maintain a constant mental connection that they rarely choose to break. He also mentions that they have matching tattoos, and that Terry’s says, “L’amitie de la conaissance.”

Sometime between April 2008 and July 2009 - In his FAQ, Andy “bans” people from slashing Mike and Terry. He says:

This is the first thing on the FAQ that is preemptive, not a response to comments or emails, but I feel I need to, particularly after #50. I have given other authors permission to play in my world, but I am putting a few caveats on that. I have no problem with slash or homosexuality. Rowan Glynnis and Malcolm Braddock both “stir their cauldrons in their own direction.” IMHO, both Colin and Luna are bisexual. HOWEVER, I am refusing permission for anyone to slash my Neville and/or Ernie, as well as any Michael/Terry slash. Obviously, these are all four originally JKR’s creations and I cannot ban the pairings in general , but I can ask people not to use my story as material in them. In the case of Neville and Ernie, this is because their relationships with women are just too vital to the plot and who they are as young men in my world, but in the case of Michael and Terry, I have another reason too. As a male writer, I have tried very hard to accurately portray the way the men in my story think and feel, even as I try my best to do justice to the ladies as well. The kind of love Michael and Terry have for one another is an extraordinary sort of brother-bond that men can form for one another under very rare circumstances, and it is one of the most powerful forms of love in the world, sometimes almost as strong as a mother for her child. That is something that I would find debased by making it into romantic or physical attraction, and that is why I am requesting that it not be done. Please respect this, and if I find out that someone has written a story from my canon that violates it, I will be reporting it to ff.net as uncondoned plagiarism.

Prior to June 17, 2008 - Andy publishes “By Consensus”, in which each of the two boys telepathically shares with the other the memory of a sexual encounter that he has recently had with a girl. These are memories such as one might see in a pensieve, except that their telepathic connection allows each to experience it as if he were in the other’s body. This is incredibly skeevy because neither girl is asked for her consent before they share. The experience of sharing these memories is so intense that Mike and Terry “wake up” afterward entangled in each other’s limbs, sweaty, chests heaving, evidently having kissed each other--oh, and they’ve both come. (Link goes to a much later re-posting on the DAYDverse community.) Excerpt:

He was still trembling, there was a hot stickiness at his groin, a deep throbbing that told him he'd come again, but Terry scarcely noticed as he released the connection, the memory fading back to what it had been before he raised it and shared it with his friend. Instead, what had his attention so completely was he and Michael were no longer laying side by side, but tangled together, and he could feel the other boy's erection flagging as freshly as his own. Their arms were wrapped around each other, their hair damp and clinging to their faces, their chests still heaving, and he could taste a faint lingering hint of chocolate in his mouth. He hadn't eaten chocolate that day.

June 19, 2008 - Andy publishes “Empirical Evidence” on hprarepairs. In this fic, Mike and Terry have sex and it's the most profound, amazing, meaningful thing ever precisely because they are male, not gay, and feel no sexual desire for each other despite their extremely strong friendship-type-love. It’s so intense, in fact, that they’re afraid ever to do it again. Excerpt:

Michael chuckled, and the sound was oddly rough in his raw throat. “Kind of defeats the whole purpose of avoiding emotional involvement when I love you more than any witch in this school?” “No fucking kidding.” Terry rolled unsteadily onto one elbow, tucking himself back into his pants. “That was…yeah…but I think if we ever do anything like it again….” He reached out, pushing a piece of the long blonde hair out of Terry’s eyes. “Speaking of your ancient Greeks, the Spartans encouraged their soldiers to have sex with one another because it took the brotherhood bonds to a level that would drive them to acts of insanity on the battlefield to protect one another. Never made sense before, and I don’t think it’s anything like what Stephen and Derek have…that seems to be more like what we have with witches. This was something else, something more raw, and I mean here –“ he tapped his chest, “—not just down there. It wasn’t…it wasn’t about sex at all, but it was certainly sexual, but….” “It was terrifying.” “Completely.” Michael bit his lip, looking down for a moment before reaching out to lace his hand through his friend’s, squeezing it tightly. “Mindless shagging definitely goes somewhere else, then?” Terry nodded. “Definitely.” His fingers tightened on Michael’s. “There’s nothing mindless about what you mean to me, Mike.”

September 30, 2008 - In “20 Random Facts about Tiresius W Boot”, Andy says that Mike and Terry each has half of a quotation by Comte DeBussy-Rabutin tattooed on his upper arm. Mike has “L’amour vient de l’aveuglement” (”Love comes from blindness...”) and Terry has “l’amitie de la connaissance” (”...friendship, from knowledge.”).

November 4, 2008 - In “20 Random Facts About Michael J Corner”, Andy reveals that following Mike and Terry’s deaths in the Battle of Hogwarts, their ashes were mixed and split in half, then buried under identical gravestones with both their names on them. Their parents had intended to engrave the text of their tattoos on the stones, but the Greek characters for "philia" appeared instead, "inexplicably and indelibly of [their] own accord". In this hilarious summary of DAYD, this is described as, “No Homo, in Ancient Greek.”

December 9, 2008 - Andy throws a fit on fanficrants when someone writes what he describes as “a craptastic slash threesome” between Mike, Terry, and Tony. He reports this person for plagiarism because he says that they “stole” his version of Terry.

December 12, 2008 - In “Standing Witness”, Mike is horribly tortured by Belsen while the other students are made to watch. Because of their telepathic connection, Terry shares the experience, and finally casts Avada Kedavra to put Mike out of his misery--but it doesn't work because he doesn’t really mean it. Later, Terry sits at Mike’s bedside and internally monologues at great length about how Mike is indescribably beautiful and intelligent and wonderful and he loves him more than life itself, and now he’s thrown all that away. When he realizes that Mike is still alive, he monologues some more about how much he loves Mike, who no doubt will never forgive him. When these events are described in DAYD itself, the other characters talk about how much Mike and Terry love each other, to the point that they’re closer than brothers. When Mike wakes up, Terry cries over him and Mike kisses his hand. Excerpt from “Standing Witness”:

I've wondered for years what kind of person could burn the Library of Alexandria; all that knowledge, all that art, so much priceless genius, who could look at that and bear to think of a torch or a hammer…but those monsters are still with us, aren't they, Mike? That he could look at you and do…do what he did, knowing you're not just beautiful, but brilliant and brave and good…and how could I help him? What does that make me? Qu'est-ce que creature, quel monstre suis-je? ... We'll fight and we'll survive and all of this, every minute of it and every day of my life I've lived and every day I have left will be worth it if I can just have one more day with you well and whole and seeing you smile, seeing your eyes light up with a new idea, some new bit of knowledge, some new discovery that we can share. ... Maybe, in the end, that's why I'm here…so that at least once, someone would truly know how precious you are, even if you're in the end a treasure only measurable by its cost to lose.

Sometime prior to February 28, 2009 - Andy publishes “Perils of Studying Outdoors”. Caught sneaking around outside by Amycus Carrow, Mike and Terry misdirect him by passionately making out and...well, here’s an excerpt. The non-italicized bits represent the two of them communicating telepathically.

There was no acting necessary to love him, just love him with every bit of his soul, but he rarely let himself just feel it this completely, because it was so overwhelming as to be a little bit frightening, and he heard a tiny gasp escape his lips, a shiver running through him at the raw, almost feral depth of it. You're beautiful too, Terry. I wish you could see that. Not just your eyes, either. Terry flinched back, closing his eyes at the compliment and trying to turn away, but Michael's hands were clasped behind his neck now. You don't have to...he can't hear us. I'm not saying it to him. I'm saying it to you. You're the pretty one. I'm the pin-up. But you're no half-cast spell either. Sometimes I almost wish I could fancy wizards, because you already mean so much to me, and I know if I did, even a little, I'd lose myself in you so easily. You're already so much everything to me, adelphos. Philia et agape... ... The kiss was uncertain at first, edged on barriers neither quite understood and both knew completely, barely a whisper of lip to lip, then the tight set of Terry's shoulders seemed to melt beneath his hands, and arms that had become recently stronger than he had realized were around his waist, pulling them in together until their bodies breathed under one rhythm. It was real in every way that they were, no act at all and so much more than what it was meant to appear to be, expressing every layer of the love that Michael wondered if any other couple in this school - in this world - who could claim simple eros even began to understand. What a pity if they didn't, because even as some faint part of him heard the Death Eater's roar of outrage, knew what was about to come, his mouth was still reluctant to edge away from Terry's, teeth and tongue lingering across the moisture of his lower lip, and the rest of himself was reflected in cobalt that lazed open just in time to lace their hands together and brace themselves before le vilain petit monde cracked over them again.

April 1, 2009 - On the LJ community, Andy posts “Revelations” as a prank for April Fool’s Day. In this fic, Mike and Terry inform their friends that they are involved in a romantic relationship with each other, and then kiss passionately in front of them, as a joke. In the header Andy says, as part of his prank, that he's had writer's block and is curing it by changing the story/characters to fit what the readers want to see. Excerpt:

“There’s no need for rash action,” Michael cut in hastily. “We’re not offended. But if we’re going to be trusting each other with our lives, we can at least trust you with this. It’s been such a year…a lot has changed. We’ve all discovered things about ourselves that maybe we didn’t realize before.” ... Another moment of wordless conversation, and then Neville’s jaw nearly hit the polished surface of the conference table as the two wizards moved as one. Chairs scraped the stone floor deafeningly, and now Michael was almost in Terry’s lap, their arms locked around one another, and they were kissing. Not just kissing, snogging. Bloody near trying to suck one another’s tonsils out. Mouths crushed together, eyes closed, hands sliding up under robes and gripping shoulders, moving over backs in the most passionate, almost desperate embrace that Neville had ever seen. The tendons corded tight on Terry’s neck. The flutter and fan of dark lashes against Michael’s still-pale cheek. Breath sucked quick and fervent between teeth and around tongues, as if any moment it wouldn’t, couldn’t be enough and they would either have to go further or burst from the pure intensity. It was the kind of kiss that was uncomfortable and voyeuristic to watch, even if it hadn’t been two wizards, and he had to look away, staring at the ceiling and wondering what…wondering how…?

April 6, 2009 - Andy posts his completed “Quadrophilia” sketch, which portrays Mike and Terry having sex with the Patil twins.

July 12, 2009 - What is a slash and what do you mean Mike and Terry have subtext; I can't see these things at all in any canon ever.

May 26, 2011 - Mike and Terry are bicurious.

June 2011, just over a week later - Terry is asexual. (Andy copy/pasted a group chat about LGBTQIA characters to the community. Neither Mike nor Terry was mentioned during the chat, but in the comments, another user asked if there were any asexual characters in the DAYDverse. Andy replied, “Terry, as a matter of fact.” I won’t link to it because it includes DAYDians’ full names.)

July 12, 2012 - Mike and Terry = BROTP.

September 2012 - Terry is homoromantic/asexual and Mike is homoromantic/heterosexual.

February 23, 2013 - Andy defends himself when asked whether his portrayal of Mike and Terry constitutes queerbaiting.

December 10, 2013 - Andy publishes “Unison”, the story of Mike and Terry’s establishing their mental link, with an author’s note that tries to preempt further talk of queerbaiting. Excerpt from the fic:

“I’m afraid.” "So am I. Of so many things." The vial stopped. The crease between his brows deepened. He pushed his hair back. “What could you ever fear?” "Falling." From grace. From my pedestal. In love. Too late and he knew it for all of them and I couldn’t breathe. The vial lifted, uncapped, tilted to dampen his finger, all still untouched. His wand was still on the floor somewhere behind us both, glowing and casting its ghosts’ light. Oh, but he was so astoundingly gifted in ways I could barely comprehend. I could never. How could he not see it? Maybe if this worked. He touched my temples with the potion; first one, then the other. “I’d catch you.” ... “...I think I’ve only ever done two perfect things in my life." "Only two?" His left hand on his face now as well, his right on mine. Our pulses had come to match. I felt light headed and didn’t even know if it was beginning. I closed my eyes. We were too young, they said. It was too dangerous. We didn’t have the maturity, the control, the capacity for the necessary level of responsible intimacy, much less to handle the complexities and abstracts of it all. Blocking, maybe, under the direst need, but never probing, penetrating, accepting, inviting, receiving. It could change who you were if it happened too young. Never before seventeen, surely. Not for children. Not for us. Rules were made to be broken by the exceptions. Or the exceptional. "Finding you, and now letting you in."

#daydverse #queerbaiting #andythanfiction #thanfiction #andrew blake #andy blake

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