#it cheers doe up a bit about not having his memory those few days tbh

[waterlogged-detective]

Imagining every time Doe reads a paper about what he did as Jack, he gets them all from Darcy with little comments in the margin about the number of times Doe’s tripped on his own feet while walking or has misplaced his head.

[drakenology]

All Yours! - Kirishima Eijiro

“i’m all yours!” 

author’s note: this is pure filth ok? kiri is always written as a gentleman and I wanted to make him a slimey little cheater. tbh it was kinda hot. hope you guys enjoy this.

warnings: smut, angst, infidelity, fluff, fem!reader, phone sex , characters aged up! made up wife yall can give her a name if yall want lmao “she’s” just for the story. 

How can I put this? Sure, I loved my wife. She was with me when I was a nobody. Supported my dreams even when it meant I couldn’t be with her. But I can’t shake this feeling of regret. It’s almost as if I have married the wrong person. We stopped being intimate. She tenses up everytime I approach her. She doesn’t even look me in my eyes. She doesn’t love me anymore, I’m sure. I don’t think I loved her as much as I did when we first met. I was scared to tell her, scared to leave her. To be honest, I think we were both too chicken shit to sign those divorce papers.

Me and Katsuki talk about it all the time. He hypes me up over a few beers and when I get home I just lay dead next to her in bed, a huge wall separating our bodies from each other’s warmth even though we were so close. Our marriage was dying, withering away as we watched it fade. I don’t even bother telling her I’m leaving. I’m sure she has company over to fuck her while I’m gone. I caught her once.

He was amongst the higher ranks of Heros; I’ve seen him around before. He was on top of her, kissing her in the spots I used to kiss her. She seemed to be enjoying herself until I walked in. I was pissed. I pulled that guy off her and my mind went blank. I collect myself as she held me back from him. All I remember is her screaming. 

“It’s over! Don’t you get it!?” The pain in my knuckles snapped me out of it as I listened to her defend a man she hardly knew over me. He was knocked out on the ground, the pig naked and sweaty sporting a new blackeye courtesy of yours truly. I’ll never forget those words. We’ve been cheating on each other since that night. 

Tonight I was going to a bar with Katsuki and Kaminari, who wanted to get a few beers and maybe catch up a little. The both of them were pretty happy in their relationships. I never thought Bakugo would settle down. I’m watching my friends get into new and healthy relationships, while mine finds its impending doom. 

“Cheer up, Eijiro. I’m sure you’ll work up the courage to leave. It’s not working anymore, bro. I can see it in your eyes.” Denki says, taking a sip from his beer. I sigh and nod, only able to impishly agree. I was pretty upset. I spent a lot of good time with her. We made good memories. But it just didn’t work out. What went wrong? What happened? 

Bakugo grumbled about how I need to get over it, “Every woman in this joint would throw their fucking panties at you to have one night fucking a pro hero, don’t you get it? To be honest you should have left her that night you caught her cheating on you with that fucking side kick. Stop bein a coward and get it done.” I looked at him in shock but nonetheless he was right about me being a coward. I’d rather stay with her than try with someone new. Or so I had thought.

Time seemed to freeze when this woman walked into the bar with a few girls I was in the same class with in UA. She was quite possibly the most beautiful fucking woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. She seemed so confident and walked with her head held high. She knew she was hot, and wanted to make sure everyone in the bar knew. She wore this skimpy little dress in red, red lipstick on her full lips to match. Why does she seem so familiar?

She walked by our table, her perfume seeming to lure me towards her to follow her wherever she went. I was drunk and looking for something or anyone to distract me from what was going on at home. It felt wrong but something in me couldn’t resist. I couldn’t help but stare at her long legs in that dress that seemed to hug and squeeze at every curve in her body. I just wanted to grab her and nail her on the nearest surface in this fucking bar. 

“Yo, you’re drooling, dude.” Denki says, waving his hand in front of my eyes. I grabbed his wrist and pushed his hand away from my view. Something about this woman made me want to know more about her. I guess I could start with her name. I stood up from my seat and approached her, telling the guys I’d be right back. My hands got clammy as I got closer. I’m not gonna lie I was nervous as fuck. She was having a conversation with someone at the bar, her head slightly tilted to the side to better hear the person over all the music and outside chatter. I sit on the other side of her and tap her shoulder. 

“Hey. Can I buy you a drink?” I ask. She turned to me and smiled brightly, her teeth almost twinkling. 

“Sure! I’m Y/N. What’s your name?” She shouted over the music. I was a little shocked she didn’t know who I was. It’s hard to even go grocery shopping without being recognized. It was almost refreshing. 

“Eijiro Kirishima.” I say, holding out my sweaty hand to give her a hand shake. She took my hand and shook it, giggling as she noticed the wetness of my palms.

“Nice to meet ya, sweaty hands.” She said teasingly. God she was pretty. It was like no one was here except the two of us. She ordered the drink she wanted and I paid the bartender after we got our orders. We talked for what seemed like hours. It was almost easy with her. She was open and honest. She had nothing to hide and she was real. It’s hard to find that in people nowadays. 

“You’re pretty handsome, sweaty hands. You must have some girlfriend waiting for you to come home tonight, don’t you?” She questioned. I froze, thinking of my wife as I take a big sip of my drink. 

“I’m uh.. actually married. But she and I are separating.” I said, looking down at my drink. 

“Are you just telling me that so I’ll sleep with you? Or are you serious?” She asked, squinting her eyes at me to see if she can detect any lies. 

“I wish I wasn’t serious. I did love her at one point but..” I swallowed the lump in my throat, feeling pathetic. I was about to cry in front of a girl I’m trying to fuck. How manly. 

“Hey. You don’t have to explain much more, ok? I understand and I believe you.” She said, her small hand resting on my shoulder in reassurance. I look her in the eyes and smile. Why was she being so nice? 

“Hey, here’s my number. Call me anytime, sweaty hands.” She giggles, kissing me on the cheek. She finished her drink and pulled a pen from her purse. She wrote her number on a napkin and kissed it, leaving a red lipstick kiss on it. Y/N handed it to me and left, swaying her hips as she walked out the door.

Fuck.

“She was HOT! Way to go, Kirishima!” Denki said, surprising me. He pats my back and orders another round of beers for me and Bakugo, who was cheering me on back at the table. We sit for a while and go home a few hours after. I call an uber being that I’m too drunk to drive. When it gets to me, I get in and take the number out of my pocket to lock it in my phone. Should I even be considering this? 

Fuck it. 

I text her. I couldn’t wait to talk to her. 

“Hey sweaty hands. Took you long enough to text me.” She texted. I could almost hear her voice through the text as I text her back with shaky hands. 

“What are you doing?” I text, sitting back in the seat. She doesn’t respond for a while until I’m about to get out of the car. 

“3 Attachments.” The message read. I nearly fall over at the thought of what those attachments are. I unlock my front door and sneak back inside. My wife was already asleep, thank god. I couldn’t take her nagging when I was out late. I go to our room and sit on the bed, opening her message. God. She was naked with a blanket covering her more intimate bits. She was laying in bed, her nipples poking through the thin blanket as she pulled her features into a lewd look. She looked so good. 

“Thinking of you.” She said. My pants grow tight as I think of what she looks like under that blanket, my mind trailing to all the dirty things I’d do to her. How pretty she’d be with my dick in her little mouth. What was she doing to me? I send her a text back, 

“You’re such a tease.” I feel my wife stir in bed as I slowly try to climb in without waking her. I sigh as she turns back over and goes back to sleep, turning my attention back to my phone. 

“I want you, Eijiro. I wanna help you forget all about her.” She texted sending me another sultry image. “She won’t please you like I can.” I gulp and get up from my bed and rush to the bathroom. 

“Is that so?”

“Yeah.. I wanna show you.” She texted, tempting me to risk it all. I facetime her without thinking. Fuck I hope my wife’s still sleeping. Y/N answers, already naked and spread out on camera for me. Dirty girl. God she looked heavenly. She wore nothing but these pink thigh high socks

“I’m so wet for you, Kiri. I want you so bad.” She whined, playing with her wet folds teasingly as if she was waiting for me to tell her what to do. I practically drooled at the sight of her so lewd like this for me, her face full of desire for a man already taken. This wrong feeling just felt so right. 

“Don’t be shy, love. Show me how you please yourself.” I said, my cock twitching in anger at the lack of attention. I licked my lips as I watched her finger her pretty pussy for me, her sweet moans filling my ears as I completely forget about everything around me. I could watch her fuck herself all day. 

“Kiri- I-I wish you were here. You’d do a much better job than me- ah!” she whined, adding another finger inside her needy little hole. I pull out my cock and start to stroke it feverishly, wishing her pussy was wrapped around me instead. 

“Yeah?” I huffed, Y/N moaning in response. I pant as I stroke myself, enamored by this woman spread out before me. I can’t wait to really taste her. 

“I’m all yours, Eijiro! Whenever you want me. Ughhh god, I can’t wait to have y-you.” She mewls, her pace quickening.

I smirk and follow her movements, mimicking her rhythm to at least simulate the feeling of her pretty pussy wrapped around me. Her moans rang in my ears, the sound of her wetness squelching around her fingers as she fucked herself open for me. I pant, feeling close to cumming all over myself as I watched her legs start to shake, a sign that she herself was close too.

“Fuuuuck, Ah! I-I’m g-gonna cum for you, Kiri. Please let me cum.. please?” She begged, the sound nearly broke me. The fact she was begging me to let her cum as if I owned her really turned me on. I huff, holding myself back further as I sweat profusely.

“G’head, baby. Cum for me. Let me hear you.” I pant desperately, wanting to let go myself. And she did, her pathetic little screams echoing in my ears like a symphony. I cum just about the same time she does, my seed spilling all over my hand and lower stomach. I hear her cooing praises at me as I moan and gasp for air in front of her.

“Mmm, I wanna lick that up for you, daddy. You’re so big.” She said, licking her lips at the sight of me. I sigh in relief, telling her how gorgeous she is as I clean myself up. She stood up and grabbed her phone, winking as she told me,

“I guess this is to be continued, huh?”

[giaourtopita]

Hello! I’m a sucker for that sweet angst and I’m sorry in advance!😭So can I request the brothers with an Mc who has a few months to live because of an illness they were born with? How do they send their time with Mc? How do they react when Mc dies?

mc dies due to a congenital disease

first of all, thank you for requesting!! i didn't really expect a request tbh. and i really hope i did this justice, i even started listening to a sad playlist to get even more in the mood to write this!! i hope you'll like it <333

warnings; gn mc, angst, death, unhealthy habits, sad just so sad, slight medical talk, alcohol used as a coping mechanism but not to an unhealthy amount, lesson 35-36 spoilers in asmo's and beel's part, lesson 16 spoilers in belphie's part.

(first of all i would like to say that none of them would react well but all of them would try to spend as much time as possible with mc)

lucifer

- would not believe them at first, he would think this is just belphie and satan playing a sick joke on him.

- believes it only after seeing the mc talking to doctors and trying to find a course of treatment.

- throws himself into work, trying to convince himself the situation will resolve itself.

- once he comes to term with it, he would try to spend as much time as possible with them

- he would take them to as many new places he can, and try to give them many new experiences before it happens.

- would even ask barbatos if he can go back in time to find them a cure.

- when the inevitable happens he thinks his father is the one to blame, it's his fault for everything. them falling, lilith dying and now this. "why can't he just leave us alone?".

- throws himself into work again but only this time he's working so hard his brothers and friends had to talk some sense to him.

- diavolo gives him some time to pull himself together, and because he has so much time on his hands, he locks himself in the comfort of his room and drinks to feel just so he can stop feeling for a little while.

- only gets better when he sees mammon trying to take care of him and be responsible with money and around the house.

mammon

- "mc you're joking right? you're my human, you can't die! ya hear me?"

- he would be attached at the mc's hips. even starts staying in their room to watch them.

- acts like he's fine when they're around but when he's alone he gets overwhelmed, he can't imagine how his life will be after mc is gone.

- also gets mad at his father "why do you hate us so much?" *he yells at the sky while sobbing*

-he's so frustrated with this situation because who will be nice to him when mc is gone?

- will try to get the witches to help him but it's a lost cause, there's no cure magical or not.

- when it happens, he blames himself. he blames himself because he failed to help them, even tho they always helped him.

- his scheming will get insufferable, he will try to get as much grimm as he can so he can buy things that remind him of the mc.

- he hoards all those things he buys all around the house actually. and if anyone anyone tries to throw those things away he gets agitated and turns into his demon form to fight them.

- will get better once he sees levi trying to pick all the things mammon left in his room.

leviathan

- "what? why? no, you can't die! stupid normie, you can't just leave me all alone like that" ... "we need more time!"

- he feels useless because there's nothing he can do, "the lord of shadows would have find a way to help his henry".

- hates it when his brothers take away the mc from him and starts throwing tantrums when they're not around, the rest of the brothers can't imagine how it will be in the future.

- tries to go outside more with them so he has memories with them that don't include sitting in his room and watching anime, those times he went outside he actually appreciated being there.

- also makes them stay in his room, they sleep in his arms and he starts sleeping in his demon form, wrapping his tail around the mc so they can't go anywhere, he knows this is pointless.

- still tries to watch as much anime as possible but when a character he likes dies, he finds himself sobbing like a baby not because he's sad for the character but because he knows this will happen to his henry.

- when they pass away he feels numb, he did all the crying when they were still there with him, he becomes an even bigger shut-in doesn't want to meet any new people especially not humans, not because he hates them but because they remind him of the mc.

- the only reason he leaves his room is to go swimming, he does that even more than he used to. his younger brothers were worried but lucifer thinks this is a healthier alternative to anything else he could do.

- is so angry at his father that he threatens war to the celestial realm using the devildom's navy.

- only got better when lucifer tried to reason him, he knows the mc wouldn't want him to do that but he doesn't know what else to do or how to mourn the human.

satan

- does not believe them, they look healthy to him so what are they talking about?? only believes them when they start talking about symptoms or he sees the symptoms himself.

- starts looking for a magical remedy to make them feel better, or even a cure. but it's no use, he can't find anything helpful other than pain relief magic. he even asks solomon but he wasn't able to give him something useful to work with.

- reads to them books about characters who feel how he feels because he can't bring himself to actually tell them how awful he is feeling.

- tries to spend as much time as possible with them even if it's for the silliest, most insignificant things there are.

- is barely able to keep himself together, he gets agitated by the smallest things you can imagine.

- after their death he feels as if a big part of his identity vanished, he feels how he used to feel about himself before he made up with lucifer and he hates that.

- going to a cat cafe or a library don't cheer him up as much as they used to, he just wishes to be with them and nothing else.

- is angry at himself and at god. he's angry at himself because even tho he knows so many things he wasn't able to save them and he's angry at god because everything is his fault.

- asmo suggests he writes a book about them and their shared memories, since he loved them and he loves books satan finds this idea excellent, however it doesn't help much because whenever he starts writing he gets so into it that he neglects himself.

- is able to kinda pull himself together when he sees lucifer bringing him a cat for emotional support, they both know this is not a permanent solution but it will help him cope for now.

asmodeus

minor lesson 35 spoiler!!

- "what?? no no no!! this isn't happening mc!! we will find a solution i promise!"

- asks solomon and his fans to help but there's nothing they can do to help.

- buys them as many pretty outfits he can and takes photos of them to remember.

- is actually the first one to accept what is going to happen, after all he's used to losing the people that he loves, some leave due to jealousy and others die.

- does even more sleepovers in his room with the mc so they can have lots of fun together, even if this situation is very sad he tries to be positive and make the best memories he can with them

- though he still looks cheerful, he's so sad internally he doesn't know what to do after his mc is gone. he feels as if he won't be the same without them because he's one of the very few people who didn't care about his looks and loved him for him, he will miss this feeling so much that he's trying cling onto it as much as time allows him to.

- after it happens, he is also numb. not because he grieved before they died but because he tries to shut down his feelings by indulging in his sin, going clubbing and spoiling himself even more than before.

- though none if the above are as fun now that he can't do them with them, he gets to the point where he stops listening to lucifer and starts talking to everyone in a sarcastic tone.

- clings to solomon because even though he knows that solomon can't die, he can't help but feel like he needs to. solomon was able to talk some sense to him after lucifer told him about his behaviour. gets better when his brothers start aggressively pointing out his awful behaviour and how much they care about him and his well-being.

beelzebub

lesson 36 spoiler!!

- "NO! this can't be happening again! you stole lilith from us and now you're doing it again with mc!" *is sobbing while yelling*

- will also camp in their room to watch them and spend time with them.

- will take them to every single one of his games, and will try to take as many pictures as possible.

- takes them to every restaurant he knows of and makes them do taste testing, he notes everything they like in a cookbook, filled with every food the mc likes, and makes it for them when they're hungry.

- sad that there's nothing he can do to help and even sadder that mc was always able to help him when he needed to.

- feels guilty about this situation because mc had to use their life essence, their already limited amount of time, to save his life.

- he cuddles them to sleep, but most of the time it's not because they need it. he actually does it because he needs it and mc knows this.

- when mc passes away he goes out of control, always going on a rampage when someone from his team mentions how he's a free demon without a pact now, he misses mc so much.

- he is constantly in a bad mood and sometimes he's so sad that he forgets to eat even if he's starving.

- only starts to pull himself together when belphie tries to take care of him by cooking and forcing him to eat when he doesn't at least try to eat the most important meals of the day.

belphegor

lesson 16 spoiler!!

- "did lucifer made you say this? i know our last prank was a bit over the top but this is inappropriate" mc explains to him while showing him their test results.

- drags them to attic and cuddles them while yelling and sobbing, not wanting to believe it.

- he would stay awake more than his normal self so they can spend more time together, even if it's just cuddling or talking.

- he tries to find a spell to at least make them live a little longer, but it's hopeless there's nothing he can do.

- also feels guilty, not only does mc get to experience their death for the second time but so do his brothers.

- clings onto them as much as he can.

- when they die it's like he falls into a coma, when people try to wake him up he doesn't even flinch it's like he wants to be in a coma.

- has made it so that he gets such vivid dreams that he can visit mc in them and that's the reason he won't wake up.

- wakes up when he hears beel cry about him, mc and lilith. tries to get over it for beel.

[paterson-blue]

Shadow of the Sea: Chapter 1

Summary: Kylo is used to being alone. It's how he's survived this long, in the cold ocean depths. He can take care of himself. Other creatures--other merfolk--are dangerous; he has the scars to prove it. Humans, however, are the worst of all. But one day, Kylo finds he has no other choice but to turn to one for help. The human he meets is nothing like he expects, and all he knows is he wants more. Is he willing to pay the price?

Word Count: 4,394

Warnings: fem!AFAB!reader, plot set up, kylo ren needs a hug confirmed, non-graphic descriptions of violence & bodily harm, brief mentions of blood & wounds, very vague medical descriptions lol, minor character death (happens off screen), oh but there's also one that happens on screen but it's brief, big time ocean nostalgia from your dear author— let me know if I need to add anything else!

A/N: Thank you @paper-n-ashes for beta reading! Icon behavior tbh.

Prefer AO3? I gotcha!

Kylo prided himself on his independence—his ferocity, his ability to fight his way out of every corner. His body was scarred and battle-hardened, but that didn’t matter. It was proof he was a survivor, and it’s not like he had anyone around him to care about his appearance. Most creatures he saw took one look at his massive form and ran.

He was intimidating, all muscle, his fins torn from previous fights. While his skin was pale, his scales were an onyx color; it made blending into the ocean depths easier. He couldn’t understand why merfolk’s standard of beauty was a brightly colored tail; didn’t it make camouflaging more difficult?

He guessed most merfolk didn’t care about that. They lived in large groups, colorful and cheerful and busy amongst other plant and animal life. Not many delved into the cold, murky areas Kylo had made his home. But he’d been there as long as he could remember, and there was no sense in changing things. He wouldn’t be welcome in the warmer waters anyway. They didn’t want him, and he didn’t want them.

So he kept away, and no one dared bother him. Those that did quickly learned not to. He had killed many creatures, and while it was all in defense, his reputation still preceded him. After all, he’d once fought one of the most dangerous predators the ocean knew, and he’d won.

He’d killed a human, after they’d captured him in their net. He’d overpowered them easily, yanked them from their boat into the water; he hadn’t even flinched when their little fishing knife plunged into his side. He’d watched with a furious gaze as the air left their lungs, their pathetic struggling eventually ceasing. Then he’d calmly cut himself loose from the netting. The knife wound had scarred over, but it was just one more to add to his collection.

Yes, Kylo prided himself on his abilities. He had no fear, no weakness; he never ran from a fight.

He was running now.

He’d been foolish. He should have realized why his normal hunting grounds had been so devoid of fish for the past few days—he should have seen the signs, should have been more careful. But hunger makes you desperate; makes you stupid. He hadn’t been paying attention, too focused on the singular fish he’d found.

It seemed to happen all at once. A sudden blow to his head that left him reeling, pain shooting through his skull as he whips himself around in attempts to find his attacker. A searing burn in his side the exact moment he feels a sharp pinch at the back of his neck. His head starts to spin with confusion, the scent of his own blood in the water.

He spots a figure out of the corner of his eye, and his heart leaps into his throat. It was a human, and they had some sort of weapon pointed right at him.

Kylo doesn’t think—he just bolts. They don’t seem to follow him at first, and he doesn’t understand why until he starts to feel the first symptoms of whatever they’ve injected him with. It makes him dizzy, makes his vision start to blur as a sickening metallic taste fills his mouth.

No, he thinks. I won’t let them do this.

He pulls strength from deep within and pushes himself to swim faster, farther. He hears a muffled shout from behind, and oh, they’re pursuing him now.

He swims frantically, skirting around rocks and through kelp forests, desperately trying to lose them even though he thinks he might hear the dull thrum of a boat motor over the thudding of blood in his ears. Kriff, he was so tired. It would be so easy to let the human magic overtake him, to sink to the ocean floor.

Was this death? A dreamless sleep that crept over your senses until you had no choice but to succumb to it? Kylo doesn’t want to die, not like this. Not where they can get to him, at least.

He doesn’t know where he’s going, doesn’t even know where he is until he catches a quick glimpse of a familiar rock formation. His mind is in shambles, drugged and panicked, lacking oxygen as his gills burn with the strain of his labored breathing.

A cove. Not too far from here. Too shallow for a boat, too rocky for humans. A cave to shelter in. Go, swim, fast, now, now, go.

The voice in his head doesn’t feel like his own—it’s frantic, urgent, thoughtless. Usually he was so composed, controlled. The threat of death had turned him into nothing more than an animal; he’s never felt so small.

He ducks and weaves as he swims towards the hidden cove, trying to convince himself he’s doing it on purpose and not just fading in and out of consciousness. If he can just stay awake a little longer, if he can just make it to that kriffing cave, he can die with dignity. Alone and cold, drugged and bleeding, but away from the humans trying to hurt him.

Kylo nearly loses his speed when he breeches the shallow waters of the cove, his mind wanting to shut down now that he’s made it. He forces himself to keep going despite his nausea and lightheadedness. His lungs are screaming, muscles aching; he scrapes his tail against the rocky outcroppings as he searches frantically for the mouth of the underwater cave.

It’s here, it’s here. I know it’s here, I’ve seen it, I mapped it. Where is it?!

His hands snag against an opening, just barely big enough for him to squeeze through, and he darts into it. It’s a tight fit, and for a brief second Kylo is terrified he’ll get stuck and pass out from whatever the humans hit him with—he’ll die, trapped, never to be found.

But then, quick as a flash, he’s through to the other side. The small tunnel opens up into a larger cavern, protected from the elements and decorated with several pools of varying depths. He’d explored it once, curious, thinking it would be a nice place to hide. It was a little too close to humanity for his comfort, but then again he’d never seen this area very populated. He’d figured he’d keep it in the back of his mind for later.

Turns out later was now.

Kylo pulls himself to the edge of the main and deepest pool, looking around urgently through spotty vision. There was a pool in the corner, half hidden by rocks—it looked shallow, but just deep enough to be submerged. Exhaling fast, he hauls himself up and out of the water, coughing and choking as his body tries to adjust from using his gills to his mouth and nose to breathe. It was never an easy transition, and he hated doing it, but right now it was what he needed.

He growls to himself as he pulls his heavy body along the rough stone cave floor, his normally nimble tail a dead weight. If he wasn’t about to faint, he thinks he’d be a bit more graceful. By the time he rolls unceremoniously into the shallow pool, his palms are all scraped up and bleeding. He doesn’t care; barely feels the sting. He’s not really feeling much of anything at this point, head spinning out of control.

Laying like this on his back, head propped up against the ledge of the pool, Kylo gazes up at the jagged rock ceiling. His lungs crackle as he heaves in breaths, heart still pounding loudly. It’s hard to hear anything else, and he wonders again if his attackers are closing in on him. Does it even matter? His dying mind questions. He doesn’t have an opportunity to think of a retort before his body finally breaks, and he succumbs to the drug induced sleep.

—————————————————————

You wake to the familiar sounds of distant crashing waves, whistling wind, and calls of seagulls. After years on the island, the noise was a comfort.

You’d grown up here, in this same cottage by the sea--been raised fishing, hunting for mussels, searching through tide pools. You and your siblings would bike into town to sell your wares at the local market before heading down to the pier to watch the boats come and go. It was a simple life, sometimes a little isolated, but it was good nonetheless. You loved the island and the ocean, and held great respect for them both. If you honor them, they will honor you--at least, that’s what your mother always said.

Your siblings grew up and moved to the mainland, but still you stayed. Got yourself a little apartment in town above the local grocery, worked at the marina as a clerk, and visited your parents on the weekends. When your mother passed, your father followed just weeks later—a broken heart, everyone said. Suddenly, your beloved little slice of heaven—of home—belonged to you.

So you moved back into the cottage you grew up in, a place haunted by the ghosts of memories and the sounds of the sea. If you’re being honest with yourself, you wouldn’t trade it for the world, no matter how many times you pretend to entertain your siblings’ urging to rent the place out. Think of all the money you’d make. It’s the perfect vacation spot.

Maybe so, but you don’t care. You don’t want strangers in your home—not those tourists who come to fawn over the village, who eat up the landscape with cameras without really seeing it, who gawk at the fishermen, who laugh at the prices at the market. They would probably call your cottage quaint and cute. You could picture them tittering over your family photos on the mantle, over the door frame where heights had been marked over the years.

Tourists, who both long for and pity an isolated life on the ocean. Oh, they have it so easy here, away from the stress of the city. Oh, could you imagine living this way, barely scraping by?

No, you didn’t want them in your home, a place so sacred. You didn’t care what money you were missing out on—you got by fine with your pay from the marina, and picking up shifts at the local cafe. You loved your cottage—savored every creaky floorboard, every leaky windowsill. The drip of the bathroom faucet, the howl of the sea wind through the chimney—these were the sounds of familiarity, of safety. No one would appreciate them like you did.

Twisting around in bed, you turn your gaze towards the open window that was letting in a fresh, salty breeze. It was early, the light still dim and grey, the air a little chilly. It makes you want to curl back up under your covers, catch a couple more hours of shut-eye. It was your day off, after all; you could afford to sleep in.

Except.

You sigh, scrubbing your hands over your face as you remember what your yesterday brain had planned. You’d told yourself you’d get up in order to gather mussels at low tide. There were plenty of tide pools around, especially in the caved area of the cove. It was your family’s little secret—the hidden grotto was all but invisible from the outside. The only reason you even knew about it was because your brother had been too adventurous for his own good as a child, always getting into places he shouldn’t.

Mussels, clams, seaweed, probably fish in the deeper tide pools—maybe some sea urchin you could sell at the market. Your stomach growls.

Well, that’s that.

Groaning, you haul yourself up and out of bed, wincing at the cold hardwood on your bare feet. You bounce on your toes, shivering, goosebumps appearing on your skin as you pad over to close the window. Despite growing up here, you were always surprised at the temperature. You stubbornly let in the breeze at night, all bundled up under your covers, pretending when you woke it would be nice and warm.

But nope, not here; even in the dead of summer the mornings were chilly. Sometimes you dreamed that you lived on one of those big, luxurious, heated beaches—hot sun and white sand as far as the eye could see, no craggy cliffs or rocky shores. Eh. You probably wouldn’t like it much anyway, too used to your own environment.

Glancing at the clock, you quickly throw on some warm clothes, half-assing your regular morning routine before grabbing your tide-pool hunting essentials: a flashlight, knee-high waders, a large bucket, and your trusty fishing knife. You take a deep breath at the front door, bracing yourself for the chill. Just think of the feast you’ll have later. And you can reward yourself with a hot bath and long nap.

It’s not too long a distance from the cottage to the rocky shoreline, and while the low tide has revealed the tempting sand leading towards the rolling waves, you head towards the jagged outcropping to the left. Years of following the same path means it doesn’t take you long at all to find the hidden entrance and carefully make your way into the cavern.

In the middle of a sunny day, light shone in through various cracks in the ceiling, glinting off the water and creating flickering reflections against the stone walls. Sometimes you came here just to think, or to take a dip in the largest pool. The water was always warmer here, protected from the full power of the currents by the rock face.

Now, however, it was dark—only the dimmest bit of grey morning light trickled in. You flick on the flashlight, humming softly to yourself. The melody echoes off the stone walls, and you set your bucket down at the closest tide pool, readying yourself to hunker down and get to work. The beam of the light scans the various pools as you turn to get your knife from its holder, and something catches your eye. It’s not much, and honestly if you weren’t so familiar with the cave you probably wouldn’t have noticed the dark shape in the far corner pool.

At first, you do a double take, eyes sweeping over the little red-tinged puddles on the floor. Blood. You grip your knife, mind racing with possibilities. Was there someone in here with you? Surely not. No one ever came out here. Swallowing hard, you take a couple steps towards the corner, torch in one hand and knife in the other. As you get closer, your gaze tracks the diluted blood trail into the pool, and at first all you notice is the black scales and fins of a fish. The grip on your knife loosens just a little, the fear of a possible threat fading.

It's a big animal, you can tell that even as you make your way over, and you wonder idly how it got in. You knew, logically, that the cave connected to the ocean somehow, but you can't imagine the tide being so high for a fish as large as this one to find its way into the back corner. You’re focused on this conundrum as you round the ledge that’s been shielding the animal from your full view--so much so that it takes you more than a couple moments for your mind to compute just what it's seeing.

The tail is thick and muscular, decorated in obsidian scales that lead to delicate looking fins at the bottom. There were smaller, fan looking fins on the sides of the tail--they were all ripped up, as if they had been torn in previous fights. Your brain clocks all of this in seconds but doesn’t dwell, because it’s focused on the top half of the animal--creature--merman.

Merman. A fucking merman.

The ebony scales at the waist fade seamlessly into pale skin and lean muscle, revealing a long, firm torso. If you weren’t so aware of the tail, you might--might--think he could pass for human. Well, except for the webbed fingers and razor-sharp nails adorning each of his hands. He’s half submerged in the water of the pool, dark hair covering part of his face so you can’t see it.

You stand there, frozen, staring, not quite knowing what to do. You weren’t… scared; weren’t even very surprised aside from the initial shock of seeing him. You’d grown up hearing stories, traditions, tales—it was more than folklore here on the island. Some of the elders believed in merfolk more than ghosts, more than aliens, more than god.

Mr. Mackenzie told tales of mermaids luring in his shipmates as prey, drowning them. You always thought they were just stories designed to scare children away from dangerous tides—and maybe they were. But other accounts, you weren’t so sure of.

It was the wonder on Ms. Fraser’s face when she recounted the long-ago memory of swimming along sandbars with a girl who could breathe underwater. It was the quiet reverence of Mr. McDougall’s voice when he whispered about removing an old fish hook from a merman’s tail. It was the tears in Mrs. Buchanan’s eyes when she insisted merfolk rescued her husband from a fishing boat wreck.

You believed them. You always had, even if you’d done it silently, bashfully. You knew those who still made offerings to the ocean and to the beings that dwelled within the depths. Your island community believed in things not seen, but passed down through generations of storytelling. It was your history, kept alive despite first hand encounters becoming few and far between.

Except, here it was—your own little slice of history, right in front of you. If you took a couple more steps, you could reach out and touch it.

Is he breathing?

The little voice in your head brings you back down to your body, and a sudden fear overtakes you. You can’t let him die—if he was even still alive to begin with. You glance nervously at the pinkish trail of blood leading to the pool; the sight makes you reach some sort of resolve.

Hyper-aware of the claws on his hands, you kneel down beside him, hesitating only briefly before you settle your hand on his large bicep. He doesn’t stir, and your stomach twists unpleasantly. Your hand slides down to his wrist, and while you can admit you aren’t an expert on merfolk anatomy, surely you’ll be able to feel a pulse from the spidery blue veins under his pale skin.

Relief washes over you in a wave when you do, indeed, find a pulse—slow, but strong. Okay, not dead then. Still, he doesn’t move, so you take it upon yourself to move his damp hair out of his face, curling it behind his prominent ears.

He’s handsome.

You feel yourself flush, immediately chastising yourself for the thought. This was—best case scenario—a complete stranger who was wounded and in possible danger. Worst case scenario… you didn’t want to think about. Needless to say, it was no time to be thinking about his level of attractiveness.

You force yourself back into action, cupping his head as you hold your hand under his nose. His breathing is steady, and you gently lay his head back where it rested on the rock ledge. Your fingertips brush against something, and you frown as you realize he has a lump on the back of his skull—as if he’s been hit. You can only hope it hasn’t done too serious damage; it wasn’t like you could really take him to the hospital.

Your attention moves down his body, and you make yourself bypass the gills in his neck in order to properly gauge his wounds. Minor cuts and scrapes littered his skin; from the number of scars decorating his form, you figure these aren’t a big deal, no matter how nasty they look. Not compared to the gash on his side, at least.

You wince when you see it, the delicate flesh torn open and ragged. The cut makes you think it’s from some man-made weapon, and you shake your head in disbelief. Who would want to harm a merman? Around here, it would be blasphemous to do such a thing.

Blood no longer seeps from the wound; you hope that’s a good sign—and that the salt water has somewhat cleaned the area. You think it may have needed stitches, but you’re no doctor with the ability to do such a procedure. If you're being honest with yourself, it’s probably far too late for stitches anyway. The wound would be another nasty scar, likely similar to the one marring his face, but the area isn’t red with infection. That’s a good sign, right?

You sigh, feeling helpless. You want to do something for the creature. There’s only one thing you can really think of. Chewing on your bottom lip, you study his face again. He still seems unresponsive, and you can only hope he stays that way a little longer.

The short trek back up to your home feels the longest it’s ever been, and your legs and lungs are burning by the time you rush through the front door, having run the entire way. You heave in breaths as you pack some supplies into a bag. It wasn’t much, but you should be able to use the waterproof gauze and antibiotic ointment to dress the nasty-looking scrapes on his hands and chest.

You hesitate for a moment before going into your bathroom and grabbing the waterproof pillow you had in the tub. Maybe it was silly, but you hated thinking about him lying on the hard ground for fuck knows how long. You almost grab some food for him—maybe the fish currently thawing in your fridge—but you decide not to. You weren’t sure what he ate, and there was no telling when he’d wake up anyway.

Your breathing has just settled back to normal by the time you’re jogging back to the cave, careful not to slip on any of the wet grass and rocks. The sun starts to peak out of the morning clouds, letting pale beams of light warm the grey morning. The cavern is illuminated slightly better when you enter; you find you can lay the flashlight at a distance and see just fine.

The merman is still asleep, and you feel a little relieved. You aren’t exactly sure what will happen when he wakes up—for all you know, you’ll return later in the day to find him gone. As it is, you plop down next to the pool he was in and get to work patching him up the best you can.

Taking the towel you brought with you, you dab at his scrapes, trying to dry them a little before applying the ointment and then carefully using the gauze to cover the wounds. His palms are so torn up that you wrap them completely, your brows knitted the entire time. It must hurt, but still, he doesn’t stir.

Finally, you’re left with the gash in his side. You debate with yourself as to whether you should cover it or not—if you even can. The front of his torso was out of the water with the way he was laying, but that could change at any second, and any real pressure on his body would cause him to sink into the pool.

Your urge to help him wins out in the end, and you decide you’ll try to bandage it to protect it from any further irritation, despite knowing water would seep in regardless. You lean forward, extra careful not to lose your balance as you pat at his pale skin with the towel once more. It’s an awkward angle and slow work, you trying your best to be gentle with him.

You add as much ointment as you dare to the bandaging, not wanting to put too much onto an open wound, before fixing the gauze to his torso with some waterproof medical tape. There. Sure, it wasn’t going to work a miracle but at this point you weren’t sure what else to do.

He’ll be okay, you tell yourself. He’ll be okay.

You take a moment to watch the rise and fall of his chest, reassured by the movement. Your gaze again drifts to his tail in fascination—you hope that, maybe, you’ll come back later and he’ll be awake. Maybe he’ll be friendly, maybe the two of you can talk. It’s illogical, you know. This wasn’t some fairytale, this was real life. You honestly just hoped he didn’t try to rip you to shreds on sight.

It’s with this thought in mind that you shift away from him, telling yourself you can’t sit and watch him all day. You have several other pools to collect mussels from, breakfast to cook, chores to do. You’ve done enough, and you have to trust that his body will do the rest—you refuse to entertain the idea that he might not make it.

Sighing, you pull yourself further away, but then remember the pillow you’d brought along. You grab it quickly before shuffling back towards him. He’s got a large lump of seaweed shoved haphazardly under his head in what you assume was a desperate attempt to soften the rock face underneath.

His damp hair is surprisingly soft when you gently lift his head to clear the ground of debris. You can’t help but run your fingers through it gently, brushing it behind his ears, almost trying to soothe his subconscious. You settle the small foam pillow in place, and slowly let his head and neck rest against it. You hope it makes some sort of difference, though you know it might be a childish thought.

Your task finished, you force yourself away from him once more, even though you suddenly ache to continue touching him. Picking up your things, you continue on your mission of prying mussels from each tidepool. You move slower and quieter than you normally would, shooting the merman furtive glances every few seconds.

By the time you’re finished with the last pool, you can’t find an excuse to linger any longer. He was as safe as he was going to be. The only thing left to do now was wait. You spare your new charge one last lingering look, then grab your things and head back to the house.

______________________________________________________________

taglist friends!

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[linalilia]

I've watched a few videos for MILGRAM now! So how about Haruka, Mahiru and Yuno for the character bingo? :0

YOU REALLY GOT ALMOST ALL MY FAVES HUH..

haruka. OH GOD HARUKA. man. many thoughts, i have many thoughts about this guy. i'm gonna be honest, when i first heard about him, i was like "ah. so he's just a sad boy with mommy issues. okay." I ALSO THOUGHT HE WAS THE "PROTAGONIST"?? I REALLY JUST IGNORED ES DJDKSDLGJFD. so yeah, i wasn't that interested in him at first and even disliked him because of the animals part. as someone who has many pets that part made me a bit anxious but as i learned more about him.. yeah. yeah, i actually like him. STILL WANT TO PUT HIM IN A SALAD SPINNER. I JUST THINK IT WOULD BE NICE. i watched his second drama with eng subs recently though.. i really sat there like "my boy, i ordered your acrylic figure and it's supposed to come soon. and you dare to disappoint me like this??" MY MOM ACTUALLY JOKED ABOUT ME PUTTING HIS FIGURE IN A CORNER WHEN IT ARRIVES TO "PUNISH" HIM 😭😭 okay, okay, it wasn't really a disappointment, but.. yeah. this guy is literally the "look, a little guy!! oh, he's a bit fucked up actually.." meme.

YUNO. GIRLBOSS. i love her so much, she's so pretty and she's such a good character!! her second mv really shows how well-written she is.. the aesthetic of her mvs is so good too.. her acting like this carefree and cheerful girl, but her real personality being much colder and her feeling empty inside.. WOW. and her saying that she doesn't need a reason for her actions is actually so interesting? like usually characters immediately go "okay, here's my tragic backstory, forgive me now please" in situations like this, but yuno really went "i don't have a reason. and even if i do, why should i tell you" OKAY QUEEN. IT'S YOUR BUSINESS, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHARE WITH US. BUT there's this one moment, i feel like i should've picked "canon isn't real" for her too.. i love yuno as a character a lot, but at the same time.. if her crime really is what most theories say (and i think it was confirmed in the second drama, if i'm not wrong), then it kinda makes her case a bit boring? like we have characters who did really interesting and TERRIFYING crimes, but then here's yuno.. and she didn't really do anything wrong? i don't know much about how her case would go in japan, like is it legal or not, but still, i doubt that she should be in a place like milgram for that. tbh i really wanted her crime to be something completely different maybe a "black widow" type of character, haha.. because it would at least explain why she's here.. but if her crime really is not that special, it turns out to be kinda underwhelming in my opinion :( so at the same time i REALLY hope that people are gonna vote her innocent because she does not deserve to be voted guilty at all, but also.. it just doesn't feel right, like THERE MUST BE MORE. like yuno's case is not that bad at all compared to other crimes, IT'S NOT EVEN A CRIME, so what is she even doing here? anyway, i love her, yuno really wakes up every day and chooses to slay and i love that for her.

MAHIRUUUUUU. MAHIRU. I LOVE HER. SHE'S GOOD. of course someone who made an oc like allen and so many other similar ocs would say that listen, i have a weakness haha get it like haruka's mv for characters who have big sister energy, characters who are obsessed with the concept of love AND i love characters with the same hair color (even though she's not really blonde.. i think. she does look blonde in official art, but her hair color is a bit different in her mv?) SHE REALLY GOT THE WHOLE BINGO. i love her character so much, she's so goofy 😭😭 but also those moments that make you feel like she's kinda.. trying to repress the memory of her crime in a way.. yeah, those are good. like mahiru acts like such a silly character who's always like "anyway do you have a crush on anyone? <3" but when someone asks her about her crime, she's like ".. ah, yeah, i guess i did do that". i can relate tbh. about the fandom being mean, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE GUILTY VOTE AT ALL. even if those theories about her are correct, i still don't think she should suffer like this? haha thank you kotoko.. like it's a hard pill to swallow, but it must be said that i doubt mahiru did those things on purpose and her face in the end of that mv really says that. HER COVER OF PSYCHOGRAM THOUGH.. y-yeah, i'm not sure what are they trying to do with her, like is she really supposed to be a yandere or they just want to make us think she is one. anyway, i'm a mahiru apologist <3

[icharchivist]

Thank you for answering the previous asks and hope you're prepared!

How much, out of ten, are you of each winter troupe member?

Have a good day :3c

ahah thank you for doing that all the way!

and oh boy i thought i was prepared but turns out-

okay notewise.:

Tsumugi: 7/10, Tasuku: 3/10, Homare: 4/10 Hisoka: 9.5/10, Azuma: 10/10, Guy: 6/10

(if you're supprised Azuma is actually my ultimate kin and it's not Hisoka: congratz i fooled all of u. the only reason i don't have an Azuma icon is that i genuinely think he looks too sexy in some arts and it doesn't feel Me despite everything else. The more u know.)

And. i need to warn that i went much more into personal details for Hisoka and Azuma under the cut to the point where it may be overwhelming. And that Azuma's entry alone is 2.1k words long. What the fuck me.

Relating to team "we have so much trauma" is going to be so much fun.

coughs, anyway take care :3c

(Links: Spring, Summer, Autumn , Winter ranking)

Winter my beloved, this is going to be a normal, non emotional ranking at all.

Tsumugi: 7/10 I relate to his lack of confidence, and the way he gave up on everything he loved when his spirit was crushed (re what I was talking about with my Kumon rant). On my down time I did study a bit of psychology and though I wouldn’t put myself at the same level as a psy student I’m often told I read people mostly in an accurate way so I can relate to that. I can use my powers for Evil like nudging people in some direction or knowing where to attack, but I am super aware of that and I’ve been extra conscious about not having it happen again for over ten years now DLKFJDLF (Azuma is kinda like that too). But yeah the fact he is like that too makes it relatable.

I also think that the whole “feeling you fucked up and took all the responsibility when a friendship broke apart” is also something very relatable. So is “ghosting your friends after that”. I relate to the fact he’s a nerd too. I relate to him more than not but I guess I just removed points because of how while I relate to specificities the whole thing doesn’t connect as much as it could?

Tasuku: 3/10 he’s probably the one I relate the least to. I honestly didn’t understand Tasuku much until Nocturnality on my first read, and it’s only then that things clicked. Legit I saw him the way Azuma saw him dLKFJDKFJDF. But I do feel it relatable that he feels responsible for failing his friend and that he took it upon himself to try to read more into how people are behaving to try to prevent it from happening again. But else he’s. genuinely not like me KDJFKLDFJDFL

Homare: 4/10 mhmm. I think I relate to the way he is passionate and how much he genuinely loves. I also relate to the fact he is pretty analytic, though the details of what makes his struggles are not something I relate to easily. I have felt broken before, I was told i was broken or unfit in some ways, so this particular pain is something I completely understand. I also did use to be an artist and a writer so I can relate to that passion of his, although as I mentioned in others ranking *shrugs*. That said he’s very much more exuberant and confident than I am and I would assume I know how to deal with people emotionally a bit more.

Hisoka: 9.5/10 oh boy where to start. This is going to be a tough one to get into without getting extremely personal. To start with, I’m a sleepy baby. I sleep a lot DLKJFDF though not much at night. I used to fall asleep in class all the time my friends had to always be on the watch out for me. I don’t have much energies. I love plushy and I love being comfortable in some places. I also really love sweets tho not as much as him. I also do care ways too much for my specific plushies and pillows (I do have huge penguins plushies too).

I, too, have memories issues, though of course to a lesser extend. I have a lot of trauma and for a lot of them I ended up getting fuzzy memories. I used to be in a pretty toxic environment where I constantly had to make use of my memory to survive, and so when my memory started failing me, I was terrified. My parents gaslight me all the time and pretends a lot of things that happened didn’t happen and that I’m crazy for believing it happened, so the moment my memory started to fail me I started to panic a lot. It terrified me to not being completely sure whenever I could trust myself or not. It made me feel extremely unreliable. It’s still something I struggle with a lot.

This would have been my answer pre-awakening moon at least. I always related to him to some degree so Awakening moon was a slap in the face in a way I wasn’t ready to deal with, and this is where I have to be uncomfortably personal.

I am the youngest sibling of 3. My eldest sister ran away from home when I was 6, never to be seen again. My other sister resented me because I used to be very close to the eldest and she was jealous about it, and while the reasons were linked to our parents, who were extremely toxic to us and kept us into this toxic environment for years on end, my sister took all her anger out on me. While we’ve discussed it as adults now, our relationships is too strained to fix it nowadays.

It took me a long while – it took me Azuma’s arc actually – to realize that the way I feel for my eldest sister is more akin to grief than to abandon. I don’t even remember her. I don’t remember her and still apparently the way I was close to her was the reason my sibling hold it against me. I couldn’t even remember *why* my sister was mad at me because I don’t even remember being close to my sister that much. All I know is that she left because the situation at home was too toxic. It was.. so messy.

I have. Much more trauma linked to that specifically but that’s the root of something that hit me in the face with Hisoka’s arc. Because I can’t remember a person that disappeared from my life, and yet it was enough for it to break and shape everything I’ve lived through since. I couldn’t even start to talk about how it still impacts me now 20 years later. I’m just now making peace with the fact this was grief. This is the gist of the reason Hisoka’s arc hit me as hard as it did (and the fact that Chikage is actively undoing all the bad things his own grief pushed him to do on Hisoka is the reason Chikage is so compelling to me. My sister could never lol.).

I felt also that I had to take all the responsibilities for what happened. I felt like I could make things easier for the family after this trauma, at the rip age of 7, and no one stopped to think maybe a child shouldn’t have to be dealing with a collective family trauma like this. But well. Here we are.

I relate to the fact Hisoka also struggles to accept everything that happened. And that now he’s trying to make things better for others people he can relate to. It’s so… complicated.

Also I can’t forget the fact Hisoka tried to kill himself and :/ as someone who has had a lot of suicidal idealization in my life this really hit a lot harder than it should have.

In general I would just say that socially I’m not really like him except with people I’m comfortable with teasing. Hisoka can be a little too rude and it’s where I can’t relate lol. But otherwise man I care him so much I feel so seen. I’m just removing 0.5 points for that and I don’t give him full mark because of what I’ll explain next.

Azuma: 10/10 This one is going to be a trip. It’s about twice the length of the Hisoka’s rant. Mister took me by the throat too. As I think it’s clear now I cannot relate to the fact he genuinely loved his family and how much his family cared for him. Yet I relate… to about everything else.

On the surface I do think I seem more approachable and easy to talk with. I try to be the kindest person I can be, to not be judgmental. I’m conflict avoidant, just like he can be, and if I’m annoyed with someone I’m muuuuch more likely to use passive aggressiveness like he does with Tasuku when he’s pissed at him. (sidenote: I do find it funny that Tasuku was the only character I really felt I didn’t get until Nocturnality, while Azuma was having the exact same problem, and then he became one of my fav the moment it clicked. Azuma is my braincell.)

More often than not, there’s a smile on my face and I try to be soft in the way I can be. I’m generally pretty calm, I’ve been told I was soothing, or give good hugs, this sort of stuff.

Now onto the heavy stuff.

I have a lot of nightmares and night terrors linked to a lot of my traumas. I’m honestly scared sometimes to go to sleep ^^”. But in general, if Hisoka reflects a lot of a personal trauma and how it would personally affect me, Azuma reflects a lot on how I would behave with others people in general and especially when I’m unwell. I’ve coped most of my life with, everything that happened to me, by just. Trying to keep people at armlength. I don’t want to let people close to me, especially irl. Discussing all of that online gives me a distance that allows me to discuss it but, I remember in high school I was going through very bad things, and a few years later I was hanging out with a friend and I happened to open up about those things. And she was going livid because, she had known me for what, 6 years at that point? And she never knew any of this. We talked a lot then, we were close, but she never knew all those things about me until years later. It kinda scared her because to her I was always a sweet and cheerful person and she never expected that I was doing this badly. I remember then she brought up something we discussed back in a party with many of our others friends from high school and similarly they were all. “how did we never know any of this.”. Seeing Azuma in Nocturnality kinda brought me back to that convo tbh LKDJFLKDFJFD.

But I’m good at pretending I’m closer to people than they think. I’m an excellent listener. A lot of my friends tended to rely on me as the person they could talk about their problems to. I used to do it much more back then but I also used to pour a lot of energy trying to make it easier for people, solving their problems. Full on Therapist Friend:tm:. It does help that, as I said with Tsumu, I have basis in psychology so sometimes some observations I can make help much more than expected. Just like Azu tbh lol.

Oh also I am cuddly with my friends in general. I’m super touch starved but also to the point I feel uncomfortable to seek hugs because I just don’t get any on a normal basis and my body isn’t used, but I’m super cuddly and when I’m with my closest friends I’m like a koala.

And it gives people the impression to people that I’m very close to them because I know them well, and I know the ins and outs of why they behave the way they do. But. I kinda feel like it’s one sided more than not. And it’s all because of me, because I keep my walls up very high and it means people don’t generally expect that I’m hiding things.

I’m good at distracting too. I don’t relate to how flirty Azuma is but I keep seeing it as him distracting others. It’s flattering, and just embarrassing enough that the person ends up dropping whatever they may be pressing on Azuma to talk about. And, while not with flirting, I do that a lot, especially using compliments like that. (That said my kindness or teasing has been misinterpreted as flirting before DLKFJDLKF I’m trying to be extra conscious about not having that misunderstanding happen nowadays but man it happened a lot).

Azuma knows a lot of people, and has been supporting a lot of people, but he doesn’t let people in as much.

And a lot of it is linked to his own sense of grief. Of the fact he has lost so much he can’t afford to go through the pain of losing something again, so he distances himself from it before it can hurt. And I do that a lot.

I mentioned in the previous rant but it’s seeing Azuma’s arc that made me understand how much it’s more grief than abandon that makes it so hard for me to move on. And a part of me kinda just. Grieves the family I could never have, the normal life I wish I could have lived and clang too all of my life. When Azuma told Guy “I was always so lonely. Everyone had families they could take for granted but I had no one.” Oh my god it destroyed me. And how he mentions just afterward that while he has new people to rely on, it couldn’t change the fact he was still feeling this pain of losing his family and it just. Man. Might be crying right now.

It’s like… I think the reason I especially related to that is that, in therapy I’ve often discussed my problems in the lenses of neglect and abandon but the problem with that lenses is that, at least with the therapists I had, they tend to focus on the fact that therefore I /must/ be still yearning for them to change and turn around, like I could change something. But I don’t. I was resigned at some point. And it’s really only when I read that that I felt this exact resignation I have been feeling all that time. I think I mentioned once how reading a3 felt like going one step toward recovery I didn’t know I could get and this was exactly the scene I meant. It legit took a weight off my heart that i've been carrying for decades. It was the strangest feeling in the world.

Anyway more in general too, on top of keeping people at distance, I am also a pro at “suddenly disappearing/ghosting when I get too close and/or have a relapse”. When Azuma starts to pull his relapses like we see in Nocturnality, I see myself. Legit had a friend who read a3 who called me out about that DLKJFDKLFJ. Acting weird like this, closing yourself in like this, coming back to some harmful coping mechanism as a way to connect back with your own self, those are all things I do. And it sucks. Like. The things I put my friends though sucks. But I really can’t help it sometimes.

I’m good at listening and observing, I’m generally good at picking up why people act a certain way, but I’m still very distant. I do everything I can to pretend I’m not distant and generally it fakes an idea of intimacy that I don’t specifically see as such.

And I see all of that in Azuma in ways that are terrifyingly relatable. Another thing Azuma says in this convo with Guy, about how “Everytime I would go to sleep, I would wish the morning would never come” me. Mood. Holy shit. Feel seen. I hate it. Just in general though the way he talks about morning as this terrifying thing is me. Between the night terrors and the fact morning genuinely makes me feel horrible, that’s kinda why I end up oversleeping until the afternoon DLKFJDF Azuma my lord I feel you.

Because of my nightly panic attacks I do try to come up with ways around it mainly by drinking some relaxing tisanes and stuff. Oh and I did have a huge period in life where I HATED being in the sun, and I fucked over all of my melanin because of that. as a kid I would tan very easily, but now the sun hates me as much as I used to hate it. So when Azuma is a drama queen about not wanting to stay in the UV too much I’m just like. How dare you pull out a mirror on me I didn’t ask for this. (also I have been called a vampire by people esp when I was a teen but that’s just how people called edgelords like me. Still. Reo my beloved.)

There is honestly so many little things with Azuma that reminds me of myself like this that it makes me go nuts. If Hisoka is who I relate to in term of specific trauma and how I cope personally, Azuma is more like, the direct physical impact of my trauma on me and the way it makes me relate to others people, as well as just every little behaviors here and there that are just so specific.

One of the only thing I really don’t relate to Azuma about is his love for Alcohol but I think if you replace it with like, my addiction to juice it works out the same.

Oh and, that’s a stupid but funny thing to me, I project hard on how much the reason he keeps his hair long is a form of mental stability for him, because I legit keep my hair long for my own mental stability. I have tied ways too much of my recovery process to my hair that when I see Azuma coping with grief with his hairstyle and how almost cutting it would be him spiraling down, I felt seen.

also i have 0 stamina just like him.

ANOTHER THING is also the fact Azuma is genuinely yearning for connections with people but he spent so much of his life keeping people away that as much as he’s yearning for it, it takes him so long to be able to lower those walls because he’s been so used to keep people away that he can’t reply to this yearning. And the way how, once he actually ends up feeling this bit of vulnerability toward people, he would suddenly shut in like it suddenly scares him? Mood.

One last thing (i promise) (i think) is that, if it wasn't obvious from all my ranting.... So much of myself and the way i view myself is defined by my trauma. I struggle to exactly come to term with my identity in any shape or form that isn't deeply related to my trauma. Even if you asked me what my sexuality is (please don't), my actual answer would be completely shaped by the fact i have so much trauma linked to sexuality, romance and gender, that i don't want to process it at all and can't actually manage to "fit the boxes" because i cannot see myself as something else than my trauma, or explain my feelings without linking it to my trauma. Honestly at times i find it kinda cringeworthy from me because i really, really can't tell about anything about my identity without thinking of my various traumas (i talked about a few of them in those rankings but it's not even the tip of the iceberg for a lot of stuff.) And when i see the way Azuma is in particular, maybe i'm projecting, but i feel like a lot of it is the same. Like not processing his age because if he does it reminds him of how he outlived those he loved (which is an headcanon but com'on.) or how even his hair is linked to his trauma. Or how he doesn't drive because it's linked to his trauma. I feel SO seen.

If it wasn’t for the fact he genuinely loved and was loved by his family, I would have felt exactly the same about everything regarding him.

But I still give him a full mark because the way Azuma’s arc has affected me is beyond any possible words I could use. And also because I legit wrote above 2100 words just on how much I related to Azuma ALONE. Even Hisoka took me 800 WORDS. HELLO. Guy: 6/10 Back to general coping here, Guy isn’t exactly relatable to me except in well. For exemple the ways the others relate to him, especially Hisoka and Azuma. So his memory loss to cope with intense family trauma is relatable to me, the way he can have nightmares and night terrors is also hella relatable to me.

But something that’s more Guy that I relate to is the whole “Step dad kept talking down on him and verbally abusing him until Guy basically completely closed himself in” because man. I won’t elaborate but I’ve really felt from reading that verbal abuse the same way I felt thinking back to how my ex-step dad used to talk to me. It made me so angry on his behalf. And the way he internalized it to cope was something deeply relatable.

Another thing with Guy is the fact that Guy did genuinely believes himself inhuman and tbh there was a time when I was very young where I would catch myself unable to feel a bit of humanity mostly from how I kept shutting myself in. (The reason I don’t relate to it with Homare is that this “inhumanity” was never actually there even if Homare did believe in it. But for Guy he went the extra mile convincing himself to the point where he denied this humanity as far as possible in a self destructive way and :/).

SO YEAH Winter is like. Therapy for me. The problem with “Trauma: The Troupe” is that saying “I relate to the Winter troupe” means “I may have problems and so what.” And it sucks.

if you read that wordvomit, congratulation, was it worth it?

Take care!

[blackberryneximide]

I would love to see all of the WHF asks answered 👀

oh wow okay!! (also shoutout to @cluster-quartz​ for asking 🌿 which I’ll obviously be answering here <3)

(This post gets long so read it below the cut <3)

🌱. Rank the endings

I spent both Arthur’s and Ollie’s angry crying at them, but that’s like. not a BAD thing.... so probably Arthur at #1 for how much built into that ending (I am still furious at him for wrecking the mines like that though), Sally at #2 because thank fuck she’s alright and Gwen’s alright and it was great to see everything being calm and okay, and Ollie at #3 because even though one of the revelations really threw me off (I’d guessed about Margaret and Jack’s relation since act 1 and I was so ready to not get surprised), I just like Ollie less (i’m sorry dude ;-;.. I was here for Margaret...) Though I gotta say, that bit where Margaret's accent slips?? Oof. Hit me hard.

🌵. Rank the stories/characters

My character ranking (including DLCs) goes (from fav to least fav) Sally, Vicky, Roger, Arthur, Nick, Ollie. TBF, I really do love everyone, I haven't seen a nuanced cast I was this engaged in in forever, so while I can rank them, there really isn’t that much difference between tiers.

Stories?? oooh man that’s so much harder ;-; Sally and Arthur both at equal #1? and everyone else?? IDK? they’re all so well done? I love them all?

🌿. Opinion on Sparky!! (Arthur’s pet)

I completely forgot Sparky existed!! ;-; But I love geckos, so, I love Sparky too.

🍀. Opinion on the Kickstarter video

Obviously good enough to get me to back it? No but, I do remember absolutely being enamoured with Uncle Jack at the time as a result? Having just seen it again for the first time since, I love it! I think it sells the vibes perfectly and I love how rapidly the director messes up the tone and the lil 4th wall break to show the team at the end. Maybe I’m just used to watching really awful Kickstarter trailers these days, but I do love that one.

🍃. Fuck, Marry, Kill with Arthur, Sally & Ollie. Fuck Arthur, marry Sally, kill Ollie :3 (also i stg at this point i have to mention i don’t hate Ollie, i just like him less, so it completely fucks him voer for this sorta ranking lol)

🍄. Anton Verloc, smash or pass

I’m uh.. gonna leave y’all with the filename for one of my pieces of fanart and you can work it out uwu

💐. Favorite theory about the game

(EDIT: Oops i forgot to answer this one! ;-;) oh goodness, yknow, I’m not sure? At this point, I still struggle to remember what’s a theory and what’s canon, what with the way the game leaves all those lovely little plot holes for you to fill. I’m not even familiar with that many of the fan theories, I think, apart from my own - so on that note - my inbox is so very, very open to fan theories uwu

🌹. OTP!!

oh I lvoe too many ships!! that’s tough! I’m a big Roger x James fan, but Victoria x Prudence and Arthur x Sally all rank really highly for me as well ;-; Plus I’ve ended up being into Nick x just about anybody and shipping bobbies with half the town too :/

🥀. NOTP!!

sally x robert byng and sally x verloc treated as genuine ‘aren’t they nice together?’ ships can stay the hell away from me at all times :) I just want sally away from her abusers is all

🌷. BROTP!!

Sally and the Weird Sisters??? I haven't really thought too much about brotps for this game but I really enjoy their dynamic and I just want Sally to have more freinds ;-; ACTUALLY! Sally & Nick??? They get high together a lot and Nick plays his old awful songs that nobody else but him loves and that’s not an excellent brotp foundation idk what is

🌺. How did you find out about the game?

Not..sure? I think my mum may’ve found it and gone “hey, aren't you into weird British 60s things and also video games?”

🌸. Did you played the pre release of the game? Which one? From 1 to 10 how much do you think the game has improved?

I definitely played a pre story alpha build, and one of the builds when they’d just started implementing Arthur’s story. I think it’s improved massively - the earlier builds leaned so heavily on survival, which, even now, not a massive fan of. I remember wanting a lot more substance, it was mostly ‘Arthur running through a field’ simulator, peppered with the occasional event (Apparently the thing with the ghost of Arthur’s mum is still in the final build but I haven't encountered it since. I remember it being such a weird encounter, out in the middle of nowhere, and it just stuck with me.) But to put it on a scale? 10 outta 10 on improvements - thank fuck they went ‘ah. story.’

🌼. Percy & Arthur, Sally & Gwen or Ollie & Margaret?

Sally & Gwen!! BuuuUUt! I have a really really soft spot for Percy and Margaret ;-; I love that they’re only seen through memories, compared to Gwen, that we get such a weird, biased recollection. That Percy is only remembered when Arthur gets the right stimuli, and that Mags is remembered constantly, but always wrong. There’s such a great contrast in the fallibility of people’s narratives between all three of them?? I love it???

🌻. Have you listened to the game’s OST? Which song is your favorite?

YeSSSSS!! For Make Believes tracks - You’ll Never Change My Mind, though I’ve been listening to a lot of Cheer Up lately. :3 For the soundtrack - House of Curious Behaviours is my definite fav, though Lovely Day For It, Dead Chuffed and Brassed Off are all close favs :D

🌙. Favorite side character!

Prudence Holmes!! I got stupidly invested into Prudence’s narrative when chasing up some weird urban legend about being able to save her life in Act 1 (spoilers, you can't) I always enjoyed that you were, to quote the name of the achievement, hot on her heels, like there was a real chance you could bump into her while escaping.

⭐️. Opinions on the bobbies!!

I started off weirdly indifferent about them, but, y’know? That musical number? good for them! I think they’ve got some of the funniest dialogue too tbh...

🌟. Do you have a oc in the universe? If yes, show us!!

So while I may’ve written so much for my own take on the white bobby, he’s still technically, not my oc, BUT! His wife most certainly is! 

Her name’s Paula Bacon (sidenote - she’s got that surname bcus the white bobby appears to me ingame as ‘constable bacon.’ is that set or his name randomly generated? Whatever the answer is, his sharing a surname with Roger does mean I get to pretend they’re related somehow ) and she’s a really sweet, caring person, who I think, is more patient than the people around her deserve. She’s fairly attentive to her surroundings, and a natural curiosity means she’s often the first to put things together. Whether it’s classic British reservations, or her particular temperament, she’s always very conscious to conform and keep her head down though.

⚡️. Do you check the official We Happy Few website or their sub reddit frequently?

I’m on the subreddit at least a few times a week as u/neverlia :) I mostly seem to answer lore and gameplay queries haha

☁️. Do you have a favorite mission?

Church! Of! Simon! Says! that one gets so splendidly batshit that i can’t help but love it

☀️. Do you follow Compulsion Games on social media?

Yup :)

[onwardintolight]

In which Onward rereads the Thrawn Trilogy and writes a massive review (and some other related stuff)

Alright, so I know I said that the characterization vs. plot thing in new canon vs. Legends was a rant for another time, but I’ve been thinking about it nonstop since and I really need to get a few thoughts out, so I guess this is that time, lol.

I’ve recently been diving into some of the Legends books for the first time in years. Partly because I’ve started listening to audiobooks and can get a whole lot more reading done in a day than I was able to before, and partly... well, I’m just curious to revisit it. I read a number of books from the old EU as a kid, and I definitely had mixed feelings back then. On the one hand, I was delighted—more Star Wars! Yay! On the other hand are the mixed feelings, which have so faded from memory over time that all I can remember anymore is that I didn’t like how the books portrayed Leia.

So anyway, I’ve been curious to give some of them a shot again, and see what I think now (all except COPL. I’m never going back to that one). I started with two that have come on my radar through the Han x Leia fandom, Tatooine Ghost and Razor’s Edge. They were wonderful! I absolutely loved Tatooine Ghost, especially. Razor’s Edge was super fun and had some truly fantastic moments (including some unforgettable shippy ones), but it felt more plot-driven than I tend to prefer (give me ALL the deep character stuff!). Despite that, I still loved it. I already own Tatooine Ghost and I plan to get my own copy of Razor’s Edge, too.

Then I decided to revisit the Thrawn trilogy. 

Oh boy.

Before I dive into that, though, I first want to say that I have many friends on here for whom the old EU is their Star Wars. I have the utmost admiration for you all, and I mean no disrespect. I support you in this being your Star Wars 100%. I’m not seeking to get into any big arguments or flame wars. In fact, I will put most of my ranting about Heir to the Empire et al under a cut, so please feel free not to engage if that sort of thing bothers you. 

Honestly, I’m a big fan of focusing on positivity in fandom, of focusing on what I love and not harassing others who enjoy things I don’t. That being said, I do support a good critique. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m not trying to force my views on anyone, but I can certainly express them in my own space and support other people’s right to express theirs in their space. What better space to do so than on my tumblr?

Before I go under the cut, I have one last question for my old EU stans. Based on my enjoyment of Tatooine Ghost and Razor’s Edge, and knowing I’m a particular sucker for character-driven stories, especially if they involve Leia and Han (and/or their ship), are there any other Legends books you’d recommend? Please let me know because I would love to discover more of that goodness!

Now, onto the Thrawn trilogy....

(It probably goes without saying, but major spoilers ahead)

.

.

Disclaimer: I’m sorry if I get some of the details wrong; I listened to the audiobooks and don’t have access to the books themselves right now so i’m writing out all these thoughts from memory

About Leia

So, it turns out that little me was right. Older me had the exact same reaction upon reading the Thrawn trilogy. What the heck did Zahn do to Leia? She seemed so diminished, shrinking. Hardly like Leia at all. If I had been reading a physical book, I would have been tempted to throw it numerous times.

First of all, she was set aside almost entirely for the first book. Despite the fact that the Empire was looking for Luke too, Luke got to be free and keep roaming the galaxy, doing his thing, and Leia was forced into hiding. If I remember right, it wasn’t really her choice (I believe it was Han who refused to take her no for an answer), nor did she argue it much. She just kind of followed the men in her life and let them do all the leading and galaxy-saving. Sounds a lot like Leia, right? *rolls eyes* Overall, she didn’t do much, and she didn’t have any part in the big climactic battle. 

(On another note this reminds me a little of one of Zahn’s new canon books, Thrawn Alliances. SPOILER ALERT: at a key moment, Thrawn pleads with Padme to talk with Anakin and try to convince him not to do something really terrible and disastrous that probably will result in people dying, and Padme basically just sighs, throws up her hands and says something like “It’s no use. When he gets this way no one can convince him of anything” and I just want to SCREAM BECAUSE NO THAT’S NOT THE FREAKING PADME I KNOW AND SERIOUSLY???)

Anyway. *calms down* 

In Dark Force Rising, Leia had a much more interesting plotline as she wins the allegience of the Noghri. I liked her better here, and she seemed a tiny bit more like the Leia I know. But it still just felt... lackluster. 

In The Last Command, she’s once again pushed to the side thanks to the men in her life making the decisions in the name of protecting her. True, I understand that for the majority of these books, she’s been pregnant, and so it’s not just about protecting her, but about protecting the twins. But that didn’t stop her from doing what she felt she needed to in Dark Force Rising. And in this book, she’s already given birth. Winter’s there; she can take care of the twins (as she eventually does). When the heroes assemble and go to Wayland for the big climax of the trilogy, she’s convinced by the men to stay behind (*cue me throwing imaginary book across the room*). Honestly, it felt contrived for the sake of the plot (she has to be there for what happens next) and more than a little bit sexist. 

She does eventually go, however, which made me want to cheer. I would have hated it way more if she hadn’t gotten to participate in the big last battle with C’baoth, particularly in light of the way the books had set her up as a Jedi-in-training (not very far along, but still). I was excited because surely this must mean she plays a big part in that, right? 

...She does not. She basically shows up and then gets trapped, doing hardly anything. Plot-wise, she’s pretty much there to provide an extra lightsaber and moral support of the Force-user variety. I’m glad she got to be there, but... yeah, overall, I’m really not happy with how these books treated my favorite character, and one of the actual main characters of the OT. It kind of felt like she was replaced by Mara, tbh. Which leads me to...

About Mara

Mara, like Leia used to be, is a very angry person, and for good reason. But her anger came off in these books as rather petulant and irrational. Once again, it felt a bit sexist. I hope I’m wrong, but the trajectory seems to be a trope that Leia has already been subject to (in ROTJ, as much as I love that movie, and with the job finished in this trilogy): Soften the angry woman. Make her pleasant and pliable and a little bit subservient. Legends fans, PLEASE tell me this doesn’t happen to Mara. I hope she continues to be a sarcastic, independent woman who takes no sh*t. I hope she loses none of her power, even as she loves and marries Luke. 

Mara had probably the biggest character arc of this entire trilogy. Unfortunately, that isn’t saying much. I really felt like her story had a lot of potential and could have been really compelling, but Zahn just doesn’t seem to know how to write characters with depth. In the end, her big moment of throwing off the Emperor’s power over her honestly just felt kind of contrived and shallow. Oh look, here’s a clone of Luke she can kill instead. That will magically make it all go away. Convenient. 

I wanted to love her. I think I probably could love her, if I read good fanfic. The problem is that the source material leaves all depth to the imagination.

About Everything Else

I mentioned that Mara seems to have the biggest character arc, but that wasn’t saying much. I had a lot of trouble distinguishing any other character arcs at all. The characters all seemed to be caught up in this big plot, carried along with it and deposited victorious at the end, without any obvious growth or change (except, again, for Mara). 

I suppose you could say that Luke learned to stand on his feet without the help of Ben’s Force ghost. But that was given such minor emphasis that I didn’t even think of it until this moment, weeks after finishing the book. 

Aside from my rage at the misogyny, I think this gets to the heart of why I disliked these books. The motivations and emotional/personal journeys of the characters are of utmost importance to me. To me, they’re the whole point. When a book is all plot and little character, I just... don’t care. It doesn’t feel real or relevant. It doesn’t show me that I can slay dragons, too.

I know that theoretically, I could imagine those character journeys. I could fill in the blanks in my mind, or through fic. I have a big imagination; I’m really pretty good at such things.

But tbh, when it comes to these books, I don’t even want to. To me, the plot itself felt pretty lackluster. I keep using the word “contrived” but it fits so well. Things happened and decisions were made that didn’t make much sense, just so the plot could go the way Zahn wanted it to. Now of course the same argument could be made for new canon (particularly, imho, the ST movies), but at least with new canon, there’s a deliberate and largely persistent focus on character. (And less sexism.) 

Other complaints: 

- I got sick of C’baoth in the first book. His villainy was not the least bit fearful or intimidating. His nearly prevailing over the heroes at Wayland felt more accidental than anything.

- Don’t get me started on stupid Bel Iblis and his stupid hurt manly pride that the women in power have to coddle and bow down to before he will lift a finger to help during a genuine EMERGENCY when he was desperately NEEDED (*cue me throwing the imaginary book across the room yet again*) (I think Leia would have had a few more choice words for him than she did in this book. They instantly presented themselves to my mind, at least)

- I can understand why Thrawn was such a big deal when these books first came out, but I think Thrawn is kind of oversaturated these days, and tbh I’m kind of sick of him (I’m going to blame the more recent canon Thrawn trilogy for that). While I like a good Sherlock Holmes mystery, I’m not too big on admiring that sort of “man as a machine” type character. Rationality is not everything, not by a long shot. It is empty and, frankly, shortsighted on its own. The best part about Thrawn’s story in these books for me was seeing him make mistakes (actual mistakes! yay!) and meet his end, perhaps in part due to that over-reliance on rationality and arrogance in his own abilities.

A few things I did like:

- another main female character, yay! Two if you count Winter

- I thought Talon Karrde was an enjoyable character and I’d love to see more of him

- I remember loving the vornskrs as a kid and a little bit of that adoration returned when I read this, bringing with it all sorts of happy nostalgia

- some parts of the plot were fun and exciting, and I could understand why they might feel iconic and Star Wars-y to others

Overall, however, I think Thrawn as a character kind of represents these books as a whole. It’s all very cerebral and practical. There’s art but it only serves the purpose of the rational. To me, these books felt like they were all mind, no soul.

I know that those of you who hold these books dear may disagree, and that’s fine. Honestly, despite my serious problems with them, I don’t hate these books. I might even read them again someday, maybe. I may be convinced to appreciate them more once I read people’s headcanons and hear what people love about it. So with that said, what DO you love about it? Where do you see these books’ soul?

[delicrieux]

rubatosis | l.l.

HALLOWEEN WRITING CHALLENGE!🎃 day 2, word(s): cycles of the moon.

pairing: loki x f!reader

fandom: marvel

request: Hi! Can l have a loki imagine please? Reader is one of the strongest beings in the universe and part of the avengers. Soldier background like captain marvel etc and Loki lowkey flirts with him romantically all the time and reader thinks he has an endgame about using her powers so she ggets mad Finally loki snaps and makes wanda look inside his mind to prove he actually loves her? Luv u :) [ @imaginesyes]

warnings: none

words: 1,7k

author’s note: i changed it a bit!  also YES i know that im late but tbh lill prolly be late to my own funeral so does it rly matter??? this is from this post and i will try to do all 30 of them!:) four, rubatosis ( the unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat ).

feedback is always appreciated xoxo

masterlist | buy me coffee☕

Loki Laufeyson had taken a special interest in you and of course you would find that flattering, though unsettling and suspicious (the latter, more than anything). He would often appear in the same places you frequented, and he would spare no compliment, albeit most of them could be considered more of an insult rather than anything. It was annoying. Though funny. And nice in a sort of I-have-caught-the-gaze-of-a-trickster-god-is-that-even-good? way. He is definitely persistent and terribly charming when he wants to be, but to trust his word would be stupid and so you refrain from entertaining him because really now, you are a realist, and he definitely wants something.

You possess power and not once or twice did a man like Loki try to sweet talk his way into a favour. Normally you would send such a pest flying, though you have your doubts when it comes to Loki. That and he is Thor’s brother, and Thor is not only a friend but also a dear co-worker, and beating up his younger brother would surely break some sort of ethics code. You know Tony probably would not care of Loki’s well-being (might even cheer you on to be completely honest), but as a soldier you have a strict morale code and a tendency to listen to orders, either by contract or otherwise.

But even with all of this in mind you could not quite help being a bit smitten. And the unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat made you wonder if he could hear it, too. The answer to that would be no, though you know he knows what he is doing to you. Irritation grew into anger fairly quick.

But to be fair, how does one not resist him? His eyes are the colour of a forest, dark, alluring, though icy, as if covered in snow; and he is most refined and graceful in movement. Not to mention he looks fantastic in a suit. Once, at a work party, he had noticed you lingering about away from the guests, enjoying solitude with a flute of champagne in your hand and a wistful look on your face. He had moved to your side seamlessly and said nothing for a whole minute. There was silence, though it was intimate, as if words were not needed in order to be close. You enjoy his voice, though you appreciate his silence perhaps more. He lies often, that you knew already. Only when his lips are sealed is he truly being genuine.

Alas, he could not help himself, and he leaned in, and you could faintly smell sandalwood and ink, “They are a rowdy bunch, aren’t they?” Strangely there was no malice in his voice; it was soft, amused, though thoughtful. His gaze was strained on Thor and his large glass of ale, telling an animated story to SHIELD agents, a tired-looking Captain America, giddy Nat, and grinning Tony who tried to steal the show quite literally. Loki then glanced at you, awaiting an answer.

“Yeah.” You said simply, “That’s why I like them.”

“But you don’t enjoy attention.” It was a quick observation; he was watching your reaction intently. You turned to him with a smile.

“If I did, I wouldn’t be standing by the door, would I?”

He grinned, “Well…” He drawled, “Perhaps you fancy a different kind of attention. It’s easier to spot you outside the crowd then within it, after all.”

“Looking at me often enough to know, huh?” You raised a brow. He shrugged.

“Why? Have you caught me staring?”

You gave him a look. He seemed awfully pleased with himself.

And then there was a night at Asgard, in the palace, serene and magical in every way. The whole world seemed to be asleep and the chirp of crickets and languid dance of fireflies was what awoke you, or so you mustered when you wandered the dark lonely halls. The air was fresh and warm; it was summer, it was always summer there. You had entered the gardens and even deep into the night the scent of roses was so sweet it was nearly choking. Under the moonlight you had found him. He was wandering, just like you had been.

At first Loki had seemed surprised to see you, though that slight shock had melted into a pleased smile and he had said something slick and you had replied with a roll of your eyes. The two of you fell into step and pebbles crunched under your feet. He was curious and you were alert. You passed statues and fountains, all appearing somehow prettier in the dark. You are not sure when he had started speaking of the moon and it’s cycles, though once he did you glanced upwards and saw it change from new to crescent and so on and so forth and that magnetic light along with his pleasant voice made it all so dreamlike.

Perhaps that was it; that was the night you had realised even if he did have some ulterior motive it didn’t matter because his company is much too valuable. The though made you even more bitter, if anything.

It’s late into the evening and Fall is merciless: cold, windy, rainy. The kitchen is alight with warm light and two cups of tea lay in the table, cooling by the minute. It tastes fruity, you conduct after a careful sip. The playfulness of the drink does not match the mood at all. You frown softly, stare into the depths of your mug and see your reflection in it. You sigh; your shoulders slump. This whole situation is absolutely hopeless.

Wanda, across from you, sits in her pyjamas and wonders how can she help. Seeing you so defeated is heart-breaking – you are one of the strongest people she knows, always ready to support someone both physically and mentally. She wishes she could use her powers – in a fleeting thought she imagined wiping your memory of a pesky, handsome prince, and now her mind, coming up empty of solutions, wanders to that idea again – though she knows you would not appreciate it (if you ever regained your memories, that is). The best she can do is make tea, or coffee, or hot chocolate at the very least and offer her warm embrace as a safe space where you can be loved and cherished and not toyed with.

Wanda would punch Loki. She had realised so when she noticed how conflicted you looked each time you even mentioned him.

“What if I talked to him?” Her voice is rasp, deep – perhaps silence had stretched for far longer than you had imagined. You glance up at her and she gives you a loving smile, “You know…Witch to trickster…”

“I… don’t think that would help much, W.” You mutter into your drink, “But I appreciate the effort. Really. Just… don’t worry about it. I’ll deal with him…Eventually.” You take another sip. “I just…wish I knew what he was thinking. If he’s serious. Or is this…just another ploy.”

She looks at you for a long while, “…What if we knew? What he was thinking. What if I could find out?”

You perk up, “You can do that?”

She smiles, “There are only few things that I can’t.”

It needs time, she explained and you decided to be patient for as long as your nerves allowed you, which to be fair was not that long. It was another gathering, another one of those meetups at Stark Tower that always ended in heated arguments. You held your ground when Loki approached you to wish you a lovely morning – even if it was pouring till noon – and you held your ground when Tony accused you of being on Steve’s side too much. Wanda was nowhere to be found. Unconsciously you searched for her, for any trace of her, and your heart skipped a beat when you felt her familiar warm aura pulse in the air like a heartbeat.

The conference was long and extremely draining. You were boiling on the inside when you entered and anxiety was choking you when you left but there was not even a ripple of this shown on your face. It had stopped raining a while ago. The air is cold and damp and you shiver before you pull your arms closer to your body. You stand outside and take in the scenery, breathe deeper, feel yourself align with nature and calm.

You feel her again behind you, and so you don’t jump when her hand lands on your shoulder in a comforting squeeze.

“…Well?” You ask, your throat dry and voice scratchy.

“I was thorough.” She says and you hear a smile in her voice, “And you know I don’t like him. You know I don’t. But there is no doubt in my heart that he likes you, (Name).” You turn to her, “Though, I’m not sure which is worse. He really liking you or just pretending.” She notes your confused gaze and sighs, “He’s dangerous.”

“We’re all dangerous, W.” You counter. “If we weren’t heroes we’d make for extremely powerful villains.”

“As long as you don’t forget that he was one.” She lets go of your shoulder, “Well, anyway. I met Tony in the hall on my way here. He looked frazzled.”

“Ah,” You nod, “he was being a baby again. Yelling at me for defending Steve.”

“One of these days those two will have a serious fight.”

“Yeah.” You agree. A few drops of cold rain dot your cheek, “Yeah they probably will. Have you seen Loki?”

“He disappeared right after the meeting. Sorry.”

“No, that’s fine. I…I’m not sure what I wanted to say anyway.”

It was past midnight when you left the Stark Tower; most of your time was spent trying to make amends with Iron Man himself, though he was too stubborn to listen. The only thing that kept you from snapping was the occasional glance out the window - the moon was full until it wasn’t, half alight until it was only a sliver. The cycles, they kept changing. Wherever Loki was, he was near enough to make those fantastic illusions.

He cares, you’d think and smile and look at the moon, he really does.

the end. hope you enjoyed!

[indulgnces]

hi howdy hello!! i go by jess and this is my first time playing my sweet bb girl, so i’m pumped! more about my girl audrey below the cut!

❛  ( SARAH JEFFERY )  ◈  dude, shut up ! AUDREY ROSE from DESCENDANTS is on screen. their fans swear they’re just DETERMINED & OUTGOING, but we’ve all seen their JEALOUS & STUBBORN side ! according to TRUMAN WIKIA, they’re TWENTY-ONE years old, BISEXUAL, & identify as CISFEMALE ( SHE/HER ). they’re currently a STUDENT & are RELIEVED about life in truman. luckily they have HER DIARY & HER SONGBIRD NECKLACE with them & can visit THE FAIRY COTTAGE whenever they want. penned by JESS.

sooooooooo confession: i’ve never watched a descendants movie from start to finish 😬 I know! crazy considering I’m playing a character from the movies, but like, have you guys ever seen a character and just be like wOW, that is My Type of character? cause that’s what happened with audrey. descendants 3 came out and was trending, and I checked the tag and like was 👀👀👀 to audrey to the point that I watched queen of mean and got HOOKED. caught a replay of the movie and watched all the audrey parts while skipping over the rest. since then I’ve been in love with my girl and she’s been on my mind so much that I’m returning to rp after a small break to play my girl. In preparation I skimmed through descendants 1 & 3, and adurey’s youtube short story so I’m good to GO. 

CANON LIFE

“A lifetime of plans, gone. Our family status, gone. Audrey, you were supposed to be his Queen, and you let him slip through your fingers. Your mother could hold onto a prince in her sleep.” 

daughter of sleeping beauty and prince phillip, princess audrey has been groomed since she was a child by her grandmother to become the queen of auradon. she’d been friends with prince ben since she was a child, and was expected to marry him when she got older.

grew up used to the finer things of life, and as such, audrey was a bit self-absorbed and spoiled. became the most popular girl in school due to her status and beauty. was cheer captain. finally became romantically involved with ben at some point in high school. life was going exactly as planned. 

then ben decided to invite 4 villain kids (vks) from the isle of the lost to auradon, and everything went to shit. the stark black and white, good vs. evil mentality was deeply ingrained in audrey’s psyche, so she was very much AGAINST the idea of any isle kids coming over. convinced the vks were up to no good, she never warmed up to the them, and bullied them (mostly mal) at times. and you know what? she was RIGHT

mal used a love potion to steal her boyfriend, who then humiliated audrey by serenading mal during a tourney match, where audrey was cheering at. no one gave two shits though?? or suspected foul play at all?? they just cheered and were like “ah, cool! our soon-to-be-king has suddenly declared his love for this new vk who’s only been here for a few days! how awesome and totally natural !! “

audrey was still plenty popular by the end of the movie, but her fairy godmothers decided to treat adurey to a spa trip, which turned into an extended trip that required her needing summer school bc she missed so much school (aka why she was absent for descendants 2)

by the time audrey came back in descendants 3, everyone was ALL up mal’s ass crack. ben proposed to mal in front of everyone, serenading her with the SAME song he did in the first movie when he ceremoniously proclaimed his love for mal while simultaneously dumping audrey, and everyone cheered AGAIN for their union. damn thing broke audrey’s whole ass heart. on top of that, her grandmother chastised audrey for her failures in securing ben and basically failing the family. 

she also lost her status come d3??? like, at the end of d1, she was still cool as fuck. but come d3 girl is not even being invited to her friend’s birthday parties anymore?? she has no friends?? no one gives two shits about how she must be dealing with everything? and wow does that not help things at all.

that night, in her loneliness and anger, audrey decided to steal the queen’s crown from the artifacts museum. it was a petty thing. she was hurt, and just did NOT want to see the crown she’d envisioned as her own for all her life be placed on mal’s head. she didn’t have a goal beyond taking the crown. however, when she went to the museum, maleficent’s scepter sensed audrey’s emotions and desires for revenge, and revealed itself to her. it’s glow lured audrey to it, fed into her emotions, and bing bang boom, audrey became the ultra fabulous QUEEN OF MEAN 

under the scepter's influence, she put half of auradon under a sleeping spell, the other half she turned to stone, then she made ben a beast after he rejected her, and made mal an ugly old hag. she was foiled at the end by mal, and ended up falling under a sleeping curse as a result. with no True Love’s Kiss to awaken her (rip), the heroes ended up getting Hades to use his magic to wake her up.

at the end, she apologizes for her crimes & her emotions were finally acknowledged when mal and ben stepped up and apologized for their inconsiderate past actions to audrey (wELL, they never actually apologize?? they say ‘I owe you an apology” but both don’t like actually say sorry, and that’s 100% something audrey has noticed for sure). she celebrates at the end with everyone else when the barrier is brought down and is last seen dancing with harry hook 

POST CANON

totally headcanon that she’s still not 100% happy as she’s shown in the end while dancing around okay

she’s STILL lonely!! she STILL wants those apologies!! she’s STILL lost about what to do with her future now that her whole life plan has blown up in smokes. she’s HURT okay. her friends? abandoned her! ben? abandoned her! that one hurts the most bc after spotting that pic of audrey/ben as children together, I 100% hc that they have been best buds for years before falling into a relationship. and while it’s clear ben was not really ~in love~ with audrey ( i image they ended up getting together bc it was just Expected yknow?), audrey still had feelings for ben. even if it wasn’t true love (she def wasn’t In Love tho she thought she was), she did still love ben. he was her best friend, and the fact that he never came around to apologize to her for humiliating her the way he did after the love spell broke HURT. 

also hc that she had to take a remedial goodness class following her stunt 

the ending given to her is life a brief showing of her and harry hook smiling at each other all soft like before dancing, which like, i’m game for, but in terms of her actual future, audrey was trying to figure out just how to do life moving forward following everything

TRUMAN

“Tell me it was all a bad dream.”

yeah so I said audrey was relieved about her life in truman? 100000% true!

her life was incredibly sad and lonely before, so convincing her that all that shit was all just a bad dream was an incredibly easy thing to do for the descendants actors okay (im sad for her bc of this tbh)

her life as she knows it: she still comes from a family of high status and money. not technically a princess, but she sure does act like one. believes she was born and raised in truman, but was sent to boarding school at auradon prep since she was a child, where she thrived and grew into a typical Popular Girl (head of cheer team/one of the most beautiful girls), before returning to truman after graduating. basically she believes she had the same perfect life she had before in canon, minus the vks, ben, and the whole fairy tale/royalty stuff (basically everything that ruined that perfect life).

all that other extra stuff, including going all queen of mean and losing ben and being drop kicked by literally everyone, is just POOF, fuzzy memories, bad vivid horror story nightmares! every now and then she’ll witness an engagement, or spot a serenade, and it’ll trigger an overwhelming sense of sadness, but for the most part, she’s content putting her life behind her. her new life is a much happier one. that could totally change once she starts encountering people from her past life again.

only really recognizes her family members as family members, and maybe recognizes some past auradon friends (maybe chad charming as her ex since he’s the only one who didn’t totally abandon her rip)

since “returning” to truman, she’s entered university on the island. she wasn’t sure where she was going with life, but she knew she’s always been really good at drawing and really good at event planning. so in uni, she decided to keep her artistic talents as a hobby and pursue a career in event planning. in pursuit of this, she’s a senior at college, majoring in hospitality management.

PERSONALITY

positive: determined, headstrong, outgoing, self-assured, polite, moral, dedicated 

negative: jealous, stubborn, demanding, bossy, petty, close-minded, seemingly mean (tho she doesn’t consider herself mean, okay? she just can come off as mean/rude)

CANON CONNECTIONS

ben & mal: need them both bc they are the ones who hurt her the most so i’d loooooove to play out these dynamics in truman!! they’d be the most Triggering faces for her 

jay & harry & chad & uma: underrated audrey ships i’d love to play out bc literally crumbs are given to the majority of these dynamics, and so I want to just...explore them?? three of these 4 are vks and 2 of those 3 are people audrey actively pursued in some sort of ~connection~ at the end of the movies when the Couples got together, and she did that even tho she is very Moral and has confusing feelings about vks, and i just wanna know more!! 

TRUMAN CONNECTIONS

yeah this is getting long, so I’m planning on posting a whole separate post in the truman plot tag for these wanted connections! 

and yeah! that’s everything on my girl! if you’ve made it this far, you’re the best my dudes!! I’m gonna be on mobile for a good portion of the day before coming on at night, but if you’d like to do any kind of plotting with my girl, just go ahead and hit that like button, and I’ll slide in y’alls dms! ♥

[fiire-bcrn]

alias  - siege.

age   -  twenty-two

pronouns  -  she/her  .

timezone  -  est .

favorite  artist  -  solo - p!nk, sia; band - fall out boy, onerepublic, imagine dragons  . those are just the most frequent flyers, I listen to everything from electro-swing to german pop so.

favorite  movie  -  too many to list but basically anything superheroes or sci-fi/fantasy like the x-men, the mcu, star trek, stardust, willow, ladyhawke, knights tale, etc.

favorite  fairy  tale  -  twelve dancing princesses  was always one of my favourites but I obsessively devoured the andrew lang fairy books growing up. .

favorite  color  -  green  .

character(s)  you  play  -  sanderson mansnoozie, diaval corvus, chernabog caim, robin loxley .

got v long so the rest is under the cut !

about  the  characters  -  sandy : he’s sweet bubbly bean, communicates mostly through sign due to his own language having died out. unseelie of the autumn court but older than any of them by a longshot due to having been made a guardian. only wants to bring the best to the world. in a constant fight with his darker side, a side all of his brethren have. Pitch is his biggest regret. The way he turned on him, he really wishes he’d found a way to make him a part of the team, eternal osrizization was not part of what he’d thought would go down. robin : suave and almost childish at times, robin was raised in his youngest days amongst the poorest, without an inkling whom his father was, only with his mother as a friend and companion. however when she died at the moment he found himself alone. who should come sweeping in but his birth father a lord in need of his heir. the man thought to turn robin into the epitome of a noble by lavishing everything on him. unfortunately for him all the fancies and fripperies instead appalled robin and he left his father’s home to live with the lowest in the thieves forest where he started to help build a community of those spurned by society. currently he cares for the child of one of his fallen men while adjusting to an injury recently obtained during a failed rescue. diaval : born on bald mountain as a natural shapeshifter, diaval never knew his parents nor even if they had bothered to give him a name. in fact he might have perished an unwanted infant had some unknown man not decided for some reason to care for him, for a few years anyway. he also never cared enough to give him a name, referring to him as ‘boy’. however at the age of five the lad found himself alone once again, but this time with scared villagers fearing him for his abilities, which is how he got his name, a word that means ‘devil’. meant as an insult, he started to wear it instead as a badge. if he could not make them accept him he’d live off their fear. tales of crows bringing bad luck started but in fact it was all the work of the young shapeshifter who never was allowed to fit in. along the way he discovered one person who not only put up with him but found his skill to be useful and wonderful. maleficent. chernabog : once a daemon of comparatively benevolent nature, chernabog was spurned by his species and turned from hell for being too ‘soft’ upon the mortal inhabitants of the world. desperate to win his right back into his home, he now stops at nothing to prove himself a true bringer of evil, everything and everyone he sees as a way of furthering his own ends. the one and only acception being his two dogs, whose company he enjoys. not that he would ever let any soul know this.

wanted  connections  -  sandy : the guardians ! all of them ! we already know he adores jack ( we luff u ) and he’d get along well with toothiana’s cheerful demeanor, though he’d most likely dislike north and bunnymund a bit more. but not wholly. pitch ! he greatly regrets everything that happened with pitch black. i feel he’d have spent the past while lowkey trying to make it up, and barely holds a grudge for the whole arrow to the back thing. friends ! more unseelie, maybe some fae from the summer or spring courts for some strain. really anyone tbh, sandy loves people ! a love interest ! give mah boi a luffly boi to love ! must be able to speak in sign language or at least willing to learn ! unaffiliated or hero would work best, but a villain who has doubts about their alignment might work as well ! robin : maid marian ! totally open to this being a ship, or a broship, an exes plot, anything really ! just give him the spitfire that kept him sane through some trying times ! the merry men ! all those dedicated rascals we all love ! the big strong john little ( i have a plot with him specifically i’d love to talk about ! ), the irascable will scarlett ! the talented alan-a-dale ! maybe an oc merry man or merry woman ! enemies ! the sheriff of nottingham and/or guy of gisborne ! maybe a villain from another tale who has it out for robin ! estranged family who sees him as a threat of sorts could most certainly be fun ! diaval : the old man on the mountain ! this would be the an who took the time to care for a child who was not his, but never even gave him a name before disappearing once again, whether by his own choice or due to external forces ! could be of any allegiance, only necessities are old enough to have been thought of as a man by a five year old and have lived on bald mountain at some point ! so much potential for this connection ! friends ! lets face it, this boy could use some people who dont hate and fear him for a change, especially ones closer to his own age ! probably people who love mischief as much as he does ! enemies ! you don’t get to be maleficent’s right hand man by being nice to everyone and he is certainly on bad terms with at least a handful of people ! the biffle ! this would be none other than maleficent herself ! i see them as sort of platonic soulmates, of sorts ! always been close to each other and always have each  others backs ! chernabog : enemies ! obviously when plotting the downfall of a whole world you come across people who disagree with your views and want to see you destroyed as much as you want to see the same done to them ! the welcome annoyance ! someone who pushes all his buttons in an almost fearless way that he almost respects and secretly finds a refreshing change of pace ! just be careful not to push it too far…. a crush ( maybe ? ) ! someone who maybe is attracted to his power and dominance over the world ! or maybe they see the softer daemon he used to be even though he has long tried to quash that side ! i dunno exactly how this would go tbh, but it’d be fun to explore !

goals  for  your  character  -  for all of them i’d love to see how it affects their alliances and morality. robin, i could see how the effects war has on the lower class could push him to be slightly less heroic. or sandy may find his darker side pulling him to do unsavoury things despite his best efforts. perhaps diaval will meet someone from the hero side willing to accept him as much or seemingly more than maleficent, making him question loyalties. and chernabog may yet return to being the more benevolent version of himself he once was ( i doubt it but maybe ).

favorite  tasks  -  anything character development or worldbuilding, tbh !

favorite  events  -  got one word for you. m a s q u e r a  d e ! there was also one i did once where people were implanted with memories of others and something like that could be interesting !

any  ideas  - just keep doing what you're doing !  .

anything  else  - just v excited to be back ! .

[mimibunny46]

Peraltas stick together

Ok so here’s my attempt at another “Peraltiago” fic. Tbh I’m pissed at myself for writing something this sad, but anyways... Jake and Amy’s daughter is named Emilia btw.

Amy is gone. She is gone, and all he's left with is are the well-meaning casseroles and a wildly confused and still grieving daughter. Her eyes beg the age-old question, "where's Mummy?", yet she's rapidly matured, knowing that those questions will only bring further grief.

They spend long nights together, and little Emilia fills what was Amy's side of the bed. The first few nights, they were numb, and miraculously drifted off from emotional exhaustion.

The next few nights, slumber didn't arrive nearly as easily. All either of them could think about was the cutout of Amy that would be left in their lives. Every morning, they'd wake up, fully expecting her to already be downstairs, reading over some case files while making eggs. Every day, Emilia would run out of school, realizing halfway out of the classroom door that she couldn't excitedly recall the day's events with her mother.

The Nine-Nine tries to help, they really do. Charles takes Jake on long walks just to get him out of the house and have someone there. Rosa and Gina try their best to be as understanding and caring as possible, hanging out with Emilia and trying to make it as normal as possible, while also allowing her to process her feelings. Holt delivers Kevin’s home-cooked meals every day, because he knows Jake will inevitably forget to feed himself and his daughter. Terry watches Emilia whenever he can, just so Jake can have time alone to think, to process, and he helps Emilia deal with her seemingly never-ending grief and most of all—confusion.

Everyday after school, one of the 99 picks up Emilia from school, and she simply wanders around for a bit. The day after the accident, she had been picked up by Rosa, and she’d immediately asked to go there.

“Tía Rosa, can we go to the precinct?”

Rosa hadn’t been sure of how to respond, was it better not to bring her; or would it be better to allow her to confront her feelings? In the end, she couldn’t say no, but everyone (even Captain Holt) had nearly burst into tears when Emilia had strode straight to her mother’s desk, exactly the same way Amy had done every day. Then she’d pulled out the binders, and read through them all. After that, she’d started making a new binder, filling it with things that reminded Emilia of her mother. All the cases she’d ever worked, every single report she’d ever filed, all the receipts from vacations and certificates from seminars she’d taken.

Bringing with the grief of losing his wife, the worst of all is the shame of feeling like a worthless father. Jake had become everything he’d promised not to be—distant, the only constant being constant absence from his child’s life. This absence isn’t simple vacancy, it’s not being able to function as a human, but wondering why it’s so difficult. Why it’s so difficult to simply pull himself up, to break through that seemingly invisible wall. And Jake hates himself for that fact, he really does.

On one of their silent walks around the park and down the streets of Brooklyn, Jake finally breaks down. Between sobs, he tells Charles that it’s become impossible to talk to his daughter, because her mere face and existence reminds him so much of Amy that it feels like a knife in the heart. That sometimes; he’ll think of a stupid quip or line that would make Amy roll her eyes and then laugh, and the pain will replenish itself. That he wishes that somehow, he could’ve prevented his wife from running into that school, from trying to save all those kids while doing the job she loved so dearly. That he already missed for the life they had ahead, and the life calendar that hurt too much to take down stared him in the face every morning, slapping him awake to their new reality.

All Charles wants to do is wrap his dear friend up in a blanket burrito and tell him that eventually, it’ll be alright somehow. That time always heals wounds. So that’s exactly what he does.

Jake hates those answers, because they’re so stupidly cliché, and how the hell could they help now? The only thing that’s making him feel the slightest bit better is Orange Drank, but even that reminds him of Amy, the way she’d always make fun of him for drinking the fluorescent orange liquid.

So instead, they break a few plates. It sounds like a Greek wedding in Charles’ home, but if that’s the only thing that made his best friend feel remotely okay, then you’d better bet that’s the damn thing that Charles Boyle would do.

Eventually, Emilia and Jake can begin to talk about her, and they manage to go through a Costco-sized box of tissues in a night. And sometimes Emilia will see some binder somewhere, and point it out to Jake, saying that “Mom would love that.” So they buy it, and use it as the binder dedicated to Amy’s memory. It’s got rainbow cascading tabs, and Emilia even calligraphs her mother’s name on the front with a fancy brush pen.

“Mummy would be proud,” Jake says softly as he watches Emilia carefully write out Amy’s name.

Not having a mother is hard, sure, but their nine-nine family tries their hardest. When Emilia gets her first period, Sharon comes over and explains everything for her, even taking her to CVS and showing her all the different kinds of products to use. While it’s incredibly embarrassing, she’s still incredibly grateful. Rosa and Gina interrogate her first boyfriend, Rosa swinging an axe around threateningly and Gina rating him on her “Linetti Level Hotness Scale” (he’s only half a Ryan Reynolds, but Emilia still likes him all the same).

Jake tries his absolute hardest to be a great parent, making an effort to be at all her games and performances, cheering on her every victory and helping her learn through each failure (If there’s anything he knows about the Santiagos, it’s that they don’t take well to failure). They have their moments where it gets tough, where Emilia just wishes that she could have her mother there, and where Jake has no idea what the hell he’s doing, if only he had his wife to guide him through all of this mad world. But through everything they heal, they live, they love, they laugh, and they always stick together.

[maggotmouth]

        hi i’m nora ( 23. gmt. she/her ) and it turns out i really miss playing bridget ! i wasn’t feeling frida bt i wanted to explore som of her backstory more so ive kind of fused bits of her into bridget..... sue me.... for those of u who didn’t know her before i dropped her, bridget grew up in a trailer park in texas, she’s an angsty socialist leftie who gets fucked at the pub and goes off on one about capitalism.  film nerd. got in on a partially subsidised scholarship and works in a bar and a fast food place to pay for her accomodation. here’s a pinboard !! everythin else is below this cut, like this post n i’ll (probably forget to) smash that im button for plots x

application template.

( cis-female ) haven’t seen BRIDGET MATUSIAK around in a while. the MARGARET QUALLEY lookalike has been known to be GARRULOUS & CANDID, but SHE can also be FICKLE & ERRATIC. The 21 year old is a JUNIOR majoring in FILM. I believe they’re living in AUDAX but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door.

aesthetics.

thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, roller blades, grazed knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes. piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your dad wouldn’t take you.

connection to tatiana & did they choose her name during the watershed?

knew each other from the cheer team in bridgets freshman year and tatiana’s sophomore year. had a competitive friendship to start with but then they got into a discussion about politics at a party one night, and maybe hooked up a few times after tatiana had jst broken up w someone. they were sort of seeing each other very casually for a bit, but…. they came from vastly different circles n it didn’t really work. they were in a bad partch at the time of the reaping so to speak, and bridget picked her name For A Giggle but now regrets it big time obviously

tw drugs, teen pregnancy

BACKSTORY TIME.. her mother was from the wrong side of the tracks, was chucked out of home pretty young after a teenage pregnancy, wanted 2 go to art school and started working as an erotic dancer to pay for college but then jst…. ended up staying there. one of those girls u see in the documentaries who had Big Plans but ultimately never got to pursue them n jst got…. sucked in by the money 

her mom n dad met in high school at a parents evening. alice was fourteen, toby was thirty-one. bridget’s mom alice was a roman catholic – uneducated in matters of safe sex, mother mary around her neck, bras hanging over wooden crucifixes – and willing to give it to the first boy who seemed interested enough, gift-wrapped or not. toby was the father to a girl down the road who alice knew nothing of besides her name and the few encounters in the corridors facing a stoney stare that screamed homewrecker. it only happened once, but once was enough. alice was out of the house as soon as her parents knew a child was growing in her womb.

bridget n her mum alice were more like sisters growing up, probably because of the closeness in age. alice should’ve known that you couldn’t have a thirteen-year-old-daughter at 27 without everyone knowing you’d been one of those girls who gave it away fast as a hot potato, and maybe bridget should have known that she’d inherit more than her mother’s wide eyes, that things have a way of circling back to us --- that at fourteen she too would lose it on the floor of a swimming pool changing room, soggy back, polka-dot nylon of a swimsuit pulled down to her ankles.

she grew up in a trailer park just outside of orlando resort, but she was raised in dressing rooms surrounded by sparkly costumes and nipple pasties and leotards and the like. as a kid she’d try to trot about in her moms heels n yearned for the day she’d be able to be on stage. 

if you’ve seen the florida project its a bit like tht.... just kids left to do their own shit.... mother’s a bit all over the place... made money by stealing wristbands off orlando theme park visitors, and bridget was p much raised by the community, to be honest. most of her youth was spent scurrying about half naked in cowboy boots and glasses too big for her face. a smol feral child

gilly (referred to as junior) was born four years after bridget, the son of a carpenter and sculpture artist named gilbert “gilly” senior, her moms latest squeeze. whenever she wasn’t at school bridget would be in gilly’s workshop doin her homework surrounded by parts of furniture or hanging out with the kids who were visiting disneyland but couldn’t afford the hotels on the resort

like her mother, bridget fell pregnant barely out of her gingham print dresses, hair in two plaits down her back, teddies still lining her bed. unlike her mum, she was not box-shipped out to a home for fallen women but rather booked into a clinic, given a pill, just like taking your vitamins.

her mother flaked out when bridget was around fifteen and junior was eleven. they were in the system for a while, before gilly was finally granted custody as legal guardian. the three of them moved to marfa, texas so that gilly could run classes in sculpture and woodworking at the art institute. they’re not sure where their mother went. some say she rededicated herself as a virgin and joined the convent in penance for her sins. some say she works in a las vegas strip club and sells pills to minors. bridget likes to believe that she’s an actress, her name in newspapers and her face in a star-spangled dressing mirror.

bridget used to do sponsored silences and hunger strikes for kids in developing countries. was that kid in school who was always raising money something. i mean its kinda cute but also she just wanted the acclaim and attention so…. and most of the time it didn’t even make it to the disadvantaged kids she was raising it for cos her mom needed rent money or to buy the kids new shoes n they could barely afford much themselves

she’s a strident feminist, an activist for human rights and animal rights, a vocal vegetarian and an all-round soapbox sadie. catch her in the quad shouting about human rights through a megaphone. will most definitely have quizzed your character on institutionalised racism whilst inhaling nos at a party and snacking on a big bowl of cheesy wotsits

aesthetic: big military or leather jackets over tiny little sundresses. always in docs or creepers and a beret with an anarchist symbol painted on it. wears a long green trench coat covered in badges for alt punk rock bands or a red denim jacket that she hacked into a crop jacket with a pair of kitchen scissors. cuffed jeans, thrifted or stolen. white converse, more grey tbh through years of wear. crop tops and plaid shirts tied round her waist. smudged mascara. glitter smeared over cheekbones from the previous night. cigarette smoke shrouding you like a veil, the red string of a thong peaking out purposely from jeans, piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your dad wouldn’t take you, kate moss posters lining the walls of a teenage bedroom, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson.

an aspiring screenwriter. she has a very image-based view of memory and experience. always doing a screenplay or shooting film. her style has a lot of catholic iconography (think virgin suicides style or baz luhrmann’s romeo + juliet if it was done on a super 8 camera) bcos catholicism is one of the few things she remembers about her mother. she’s never actually tried to find her mum / find out about her, jst…. occasionally channels that energy into her work.

struggles with self-image and the need to be Loved By All a lot. uses sex as an affirmation of her worth and also kinda manic-depressive (though not officially diagnosed) bcos her upbringing was a bit unstable, she was a looked after child for a while when the adoption papers were still going through… struggles a lot with feeling unwanted, especially since her grandparents refuse to acknowledge her existence cos she was born outside of marriage….. so she craves feeling wanted,, like despite being a real women’s rights activist and hating objectification, at the same time to bridge there’s nothing better than someone sizing you up with hunger in their eyes

she’s queer, but i guess she favours women, and is incredibly vocal in her support of the lgbt+ movement. often at rallies. has done a face-sitting protest. really is that bitch

there’s a degree of anger for anger’s sake in bridget. she likes passionate, angry music – particularly garage rock, punk and riot grrrl. she loves the slits and skinny girl diet. viv albertine inspired her to take up bass guitar.

back at lockwood she was working two jobs to pay for uni !! at the bowling alley polishing the shoes and fixing the bowling lanes, and also as a burger flipper at mcdonalds. in amsterdam she’s managed to secure a part-time bar job at one of the hendrix university bars

massive film buff. is majoring in film at uni also spends a lot of time at the movie theatre n probably has like a season ticket. is one of those pretentious film nerds who’re like “what do u think of goddard’s work?” but also just really into shitty horror movies

she spends her evenings in downtown bars willing away her boredom, trying to find something that’ll jerk her out of apathetic lethargy. she toys with the idea of becoming a stripper — it certainly pays better than flipping burgers — but she lacks the energy to dance for several hours a night.

she loves b movies and slasher flicks. at parties, she’ll occasionally try to make a horror of her own, on a super 8 camera in someone’s basement, very paranormal activity, but she’ll inevitably get bored, or too drunk and give up, like she does with most things in her life. she lacks drive and motivation. she’s bright but there’s no hunger in her.

she’s fickle and enigmatic. one moment she could be your best friend, the next, she’ll behave like a total stranger. bridget’s unpredictable because she’s still unsure of her own identity, frequently flitting between different characters, like snake skins, before she grows bored of being bubbly and eager and becomes spiteful again. her core personality traits are probably forthright, impulsive, restless, thrill-seeking, selfish, gregarious, easily bored, childish.

SOME ?MILDLY AMUSING? FACTS

writes shitty poems on the back of napkins and quotes dead philosophers she’s never read. romanticises herself a lot. like will be standing there in a ripped t-shirt and her undies smoking a cig like “hmmm… i bet someone is falling in love with me right now”

is vegetarian for environmental reasons but snorts coke at parties like that isn’t shit for the environment ?? sis, it don’t add up

loves dirt. ate a worm once because someone dared her too. shamelessly disgusting.

she’s slightly obsessed with true crime, up late watching documentaries on the manson family murders.

favourite drink is cherry coke

a lot of her time is spent in the record store, plugged into a set of headphones, head-banging in the corner to a scratched record. music, for birdie, is a form of escapism. that and dropping acid in parking lots lmao.

sells nudes on twitter. whenever she gets low on cash she contacts one of the seedy old men who used to visit her mom’s club to venmo her $500 in return for pictures

that girl who’s always harping on about body positivity on instagram while wearing cute underwear and looking absolutely bomb

really good at rodeo bull riding. the club in marfa had one so as a youth she got really good at it bcos she was constantly tryin to outdo her friends on who could stay on for the longest. a video of her staying on one for like 4 minutes after downing several jager bombs went viral once.

micro-doses acid for mild depression bcos she didn’t believe in “that CBT bullshit”, thought that therapists, like her, were jst con artists so always a bit spaced out

volunteers at one of the local galleries but mostly just rants to old white dutch men about how cis white men have dominated art for years :/ is one of those SJW-types , like.... have a day off, jameela jamil......

has a pet rat called popeye

takes photographs of dead animals to use in her art and often posts them side-by-side with stills of women in porn to show the shelf-life of female sex workers in a patriarchal-dominated industry or some bullshit idk

big into spoken word poetry, even if its shit. likes savage depictions of femininity

wrote a thesis on art as an act of masturbation that got published

this bitch HATES capitalism and LOVES karl marx

time isn’t real. nothing exists. the self is a social construct. finger guns.

an awful person, really

plots i want that i mostly stole from the tags

muse a tries to stand up for muse b in a bar but unfortunately cannot fight for shit.

muse a (prob bridget cos works in a bar) works somewhere that’s open late and muse b comes in to take shelter from the storm.

‘I got in my car and you were sleeping in the backseat who the hell are you and how did you get into my car’ 

 umm a wlw plot isnpired by san junipero ! esp this post. could have been a former fling that ended sourly !! cos i dont like ship forcing but still?? give me wlw stuff

 “i just decked you in the face because i’m drunk and you were pissing me off but ow my hand really fucking hurts i think i might have broke it and oh look your nose is bleeding and now we’re both sitting awkwardly in the hospital while i glare at you from across the room. but wait are you giving me sex eyes?? stop that i’m supposed to mad at you??”

“platonically sharing a bed until i wake up and you’re curled round me and my nose is buried in your hair so i’ll pretend to stay asleep to keep this for a little while longer” plots

 “highkey want a ‘someone wrote your phone number on the wall of a bathroom in my dorm with ‘call for a good time’ and i just texted you to let you know that i scribbled it out and oh wait you’re actually funny and easy to talk to and now we’re talking every day and i might have a tiny little crush on you even tho  i don’t even know your name’ plot”

 goddamn its another shippy wlw plot apparently that’s all my tag is but this post

“known for being rebels without cause, MUSE A and MUSE B are synonymous to their fast cars, nights out beneath the stars, empty bottles of alcohol, and loud music. they meet by chance one night and immediately click, and embark on a careless adventure after it despite not knowing each other. it’s them against the world: after all, what could go wrong ?”

any of these sad sour unrequited love plots

‘we take the same elevator every day and due to a misunderstanding I assumed you didn’t speak english and I’ve been talking to my friend about how hot you are for three weeks and apparently my friend has known from the start but you agreed not to tell me bc you both think its hilarious what the fuck’ au

‘I accidentally dropped you while you were crowd surfing and you broke your ankle and now I feel responsible so I’m carrying you out of the moshpit’ au

walked in on my roommate and you screwing except i know you from class and i freaked out a little

i was hustling you in pool for money but you were hustling me for free drinks so who’s the real winner here?

bridgot goes to strip clubs n peep shows like every day, cos she’s writing about the history of pornographic film n its basically research for her, so if ur characters would be into strip clubs they might see her there

i feel like she’d be on student council if they had one of those. shes that kind of bitch, turning up like elle woods with a big feather pen or a light-up heart marker, slamming down some truths before upping and leaving to go for her 11am chai latte break

som1 who attended the art institute in marfa for a summer n maybe knew her when she was a bit younger ??? idk

drama. angst. horror. also nice bike rides in amsterdam please

feel free to im me if u wanna plot, or, like this post and i’ll hit u with a message!

[cornerverse-mlp]

I wrote this post, like, a year and a half ago but I just found it so here I’m throwing it into the void!

Okay, I have no justification of any kind, other than “the other night I rearranged my room, saw my mlp toys on my Percy Jackson shelf, and decided to debate with myself about “if the MLP cast were all in the PJO Universe, who would their godly parent be?”.” 

Obviously they’re all Humans, or well, Demigods, in this AU(Actually, there’s one Mortal), instead of being ponies(I think by default horses are Poseidon territory). That said, their in-show abilities/traits count for what I choose. Same for choosing the ‘godly parent’, meaning that while full Myth(and my interpretations) will be in play, how the gods work in the PJO books count as well. 

I’m also keeping to just the more well-known gods/goddesses. Because while there’s a lot of minor ones and I could probably spend days going down the rabbit hole of Wikipedia articles to find a ‘perfect fit’, why would I do that? For that same reason, I’m also sticking to Greeks instead of trying to balance ‘should I make them Greek or Roman?’. 

So! On that note, this is mostly a list, however, I do add more and give reasons for my choices, even talking of ones I debated about. And a few bonus headcanons.

Twilight Sparkle - I feel like Athena is the obvious choice. I mean, Twi’s intelligent and strategic so Daughter to the Goddess of Wisdom is a good idea, plus she has a pet owl which is one of Athena’s symbols. It’s what most people go with.

However, I’m going with her as a Daughter of Hecate. My reasons?

 First of all, Hecate is Goddess of Magic, and, well, Magic is Twi’s thing. She’s a talented spellcaster, and that’s a big part of her character.

Hecate is also a Goddess of Crossroads, something we see a lot with Twilight, in multiple ways.

She is the character with the most ‘counterparts’, not just her literal Counterpart in Sci-Twi, but metaphorical counterparts, ‘other paths she could have taken’. I mean, there’s Sunset, Starlight, Sci-Twi, Trixie, and also Moondancer that show off places Twilight could have ended up had she chosen differently in life. 

However, Twilight is also the Crossroad for others. She is the character who is trying to lead others down the best path, giving them the choice of where to go. Again, we see this a lot with reforming villains. She offers them a chance to change the path, to turn and go down another. 

Another thing that Hecate is associated with is childbirth and nurturing the young. 

In the show, Twilight earned her Cutie Mark by hatching Spike, and even if she wasn’t his direct mother(I headcanon them more as siblings), she did help to raise him. 

She’s also a teacher, both in usual subjects (as we saw with the CMC in Twilight Time), and in teaching others about friendship(While those characters are not ‘young’, it counts).

Pinkie Pie - Again, it seems like an obvious choice as a Daughter of Dionysus, God of wine, parties, and madness. Okay, we have no idea how Pinkie feels about wine since this is a kids show(Personally, I feel like she shares my tastes and doesn’t care for it.)

Which is why I’m making her a Daughter of Apollo instead. He’s God of the Sun, and Pinkie is a metaphorical ball of sunshine. Other things Apollo is the God of include: Healing, Music, Art, Archery, and also Prophecy.

Pinkie’s relation to Music and Art are obvious, and while we don’t get to see her with a bow, she seems to have good aim. As for Prophecy? Pinkie Sense. She’s canonically able to predict the future. 

Now, you might not think Healing fits in, but it does. After all, isn’t Laughter the best medicine? Okay, jokes aside, while Pinkie isn’t a ‘healer’ in the doctor sense, she’s more like a ‘healer’ in the therapist sense(Obviously not licensed, but you get the idea). When she can’t cheer someone up from just a simple party, she puts her all into working through their problems and getting them to be truly happy again. And that’s a type of healing people forget about alot.

Rarity - Huh. Another one that gets a ‘this has an obvious choice’ category. A Daughter of Aphrodite, Goddess of Beauty, Love and Lust, able to charm any into doing what she wishes. And in terms of the PJO world? She’d fit right in with the others of the Aphrodite Cabin(Well, she’d probably punch Drew in the face but whatever.).

However, once more, I’m going for an odd choice: Daughter of Hades. And before I go into my reasoning, take all the memories of Hades as a villain and anything from Disney and chuck that out a window. Not just here, but in general. Because damn it, he’s not evil. He’s probably one of the most chill of the gods. Stop making him the villain. Even this series only used him as a fakeout villain in the first book. And we don’t talk about the movie. What movie? That doesn’t exist!

Anyway, while Hades is God of the Underworld, he also has a few other things he rules. Hades is also known as the God of Wealth, as all of the precious metals and gems in the Earth were of his domain as well. Rarity and her ability to manipulate Gems reminds me a little bit of Hazel’s abilities(though obviously less cursed(And I know Hazel is technically ‘Pluto’s’ but they’re both the same god and not the same god)).

However, there’s a few other things that made me decide to have Rarity be a Daughter of Hades instead of Aphrodite:

First is the fact that, as much as Aphrodite was a good fit for her in quite a few ways, she is also considered a Goddess of Desire(not just Lust, but all desires and even the fulfillment of said desires). As materialistic as Rarity can be, she’s also the Element of Generosity. While the MLP universe can balance the traits, making her want things but always giving to others as well, putting Desire in her nature feels wrong.

Secondly, within the PJO series, Hades is shown to be very generous, even if it’s a trait rarely seen by the other gods(due to family feuding), but is shown in his relationships with the women he loved.

His love with Persephone, for example. He was kind and patient with her, wishing for her to love him as he did her. He started with magnificent gifts,and took to spending all of his time with her and doing whatever he could to make her happy. He even hired the most skilled (deceased) gardeners in the Underworld to grow a magnificent garden for her. He says that though he is God of Wealth, she is dearer to him than any precious metals or gems.

(Because I know someone will point it out, the whole thing with their relationship and the pomegranate seeds has several interpretations, some happier than others. The PJO version has Persephone truly fall for Hades, and one of the gardeners tricks her with the pomegranate seeds. (My personal interpretation of the story is that Persephone fell for Hades and ate the Pomegranate seeds on purpose so that they wouldn’t be separated. I mean, within actual Greek Myths, they’re the most stable couple with the least affairs))

Back to the books, we have Maria di Angelo. Hades tried to convince her to live in Underworld with him, despite the fact that it would piss off Persephone a bit, to protect her and their kids from the other gods. He insists that he will build her a beautiful golden palace by the River Styx, but doesn’t get a chance to because Zeus kills her first. (He wishes to resurrect her, but even a God of the Underworld must obey the laws of Death.)

While it’s technically ‘Pluto’ and not ‘Hades’, we also have Marie Levesque. He loved her so much he swore on the River Styx to give her anything. When she took him up on that and asked for all the riches of the Underworld, he begs her to ask for anything else, as the greediest wishes come with curses. And even though she ignored the warning and cursed their daughter, he did what he could to protect them. 

Another reason is that I find that most interpretations of the afterlife are Generous, in a way. While there’s definitely punishment in the afterlife, most versions include some version of ‘unless you’re a huge dick you’ll be rewarded with everything that would make you happy’. 

Final reason: the fanfic “In the Twilight of Death” which includes Rarity as a Grim Reaper. It doesn’t really factor in ‘logically’, but tbh I can’t help it. That fic’s good though so check it out.

Applejack - While it’s obvious, I’m not going to pull what I did before and be like ‘this is obvious but..’ thing. Applejack would be a Daughter of Demeter. Goddess of Agriculture and Harvest and all that.

Rainbow Dash - I debated about this one for a while. I thought of using Ares(Rainbow’s middle name is ‘Fight Me’), Zeus(Because God of Sky and Lightning), and even Iris(Because Goddess of the Rainbow).

However, I ended up deciding on her being a Daughter of Nike, Goddess of Victory, Strength, and Speed. It fits quite well. 

Fluttershy - Daughter of Iris. While I considered this for Rainbow Dash, I feel Iris fits Fluttershy more because of the version in the books. I mean, non-violent, only attacks in self defense, a little with the hippie crowd, severely underestimated due to their most known traits(Iris is known for messages and rainbows, Flutters is known for being kind and shy) but will totally kick your ass when needed.

Sunset Shimmer - Okay, I really want to put Hestia, because I associate Sunset with Hestia a lot because of reasons. But apparently Hestia has no kids as she’s one of the Virgin Goddesses. I’m really trying to think of other options. Like

Hecate, because like Twilight she’s Magic

Apollo, because of the Sun connection, good with her hands(art and music)

Athena, because she’s intelligent and strategic

Hephaestus, because she could totally build magic robots(Again, good with her hands) and also fire association

But just.... none of them feel right.

Fuck it! I don’t fucking care. Let’s just pretend that Hestia is like Athena, she creates children through other means and is still an eternal virgin. IDK, maybe they spawn out of her hearth fires. Anyway, Sunset’s a Daughter of Hestia.

Celestia and Luna - I’m putting them together because their headcanons are a bit connected. Okay, so, in this AU they’re either half-sisters or adopted. Celestia is a Daughter of Apollo(because Sun), but Luna is a Mortal.

However, because they’re always together, and because Luna can see through the Mist, she knows all about the whole ‘Demigods’ thing. But this puts Luna in a lot of danger, and Celestia insists she be allowed to come to CHB too so she can protect herself.

Obviously they don’t allow it since Luna’s Mortal, but Celestia decides that instead she’ll train Luna with all the Greek weaponry herself. 

At some point, they’re off on their own somewhere and end up running into some monsters. They handle it beautifully, and catch the attention of Artemis. She invites them both to join her Hunters, which they agree to. Luna took to the life better, being nocturnal and seeming to almost be able to see through the darkness, so she quickly became the Hunters’ Lieutenant

Discord - Son of Eris. Come on. That one’s too perfect.

Chrysalis - Daughter of Aphrodite. Again, kinda perfect on that one.

Cadence -  Can we go three for three on perfection? Yes, because here’s another Daughter of Aphrodite.

Shining Armor - I was debating on this, because he and Twilight are siblings so how should this work? I don’t want him to also be a son of Hecate. So they’re step-siblings on the Mortal side in this AU

I was also debating on whether to make his godly parent Ares or Athena. On one hand, while both are war/battle gods, Athena has a heavier emphasis on strategy. On the other hand, Athena also has heavier emphasis on her non-battle qualities.

Not to disrespect any character and/or gods, but while Shining is intelligent and a good strategist, he doesn’t fit the rest of the Athena kid qualities. So I’m making him a Son of Ares, though a bit more strategic and less bloodthirsty than his godly half-siblings(he gets it from his mom’s side of the family).

Spike - Son of Hephaestus, and definitely has those fire powers. While his character isn’t known for building, I think he could have some skill with it. As for his relationship to Twilight and Shining in this AU: He was adopted by their Mortal Parents. I’ll go more into that later.

Sweetie Belle - Rarity’s half-sister, on the mortal side. Daughter of Apollo. She sucks at healing and if you value your life keep her away from the bows, but her music skill is fantastic. Her prophecy abilities only show up when she’s being sarcastic.

Scootaloo and Flash Sentry - Full siblings(because I headcanon them as such in-show). Children of Athena. An odd choice, but I think it works. We know Flash is a Guard in-show, meaning he’s likely good with fights, and if Scootaloo had a middle name it’d be ‘fight me’, but both have also shown some craftsmanship abilities. Well, Scoots has(working on her scooter and all(also, you have to be smart to calculate those tricks yourself)) and I headcanon that Flash has shown those type abilities as well because the show gives him so little character that anything with him is ‘canon until proven otherwise’ and- Whatever. Rant for another time. 

Big Macintosh - Full sibling with Applejack. Son of Demeter. Self-explanatory.

Applebloom - Daughter of Hephaestus(AJ and Big Mac are her step-siblings in this AU). I chose this because all expected her to get a Cutie Mark for, well, building shit in general. (I’m still a little salty there)

Starlight Glimmer - Daughter of Nemesis, Goddess of Justice/Vengeance/Balance. You can figure out that one on your own.

Diamond Tiara - Either a Daughter of Hades,or another example of me saying ‘fuck it!’ and making her a Daughter of Hestia like Sunset. I am undecided. 

Have a few more headcanons for this AU:

This all would be post-PJO series, because a few things would vary a lot from Canon if it were during-series.I mean, Hades can only loophole kids into the series so many times before someone snaps. Also Luna becoming the Hunter’s Lieutenant would involve Thalia either dying or stepping down. And I want this to be when minor gods/goddesses have their own cabins too, and perhaps CHB has established something similar to New Rome where adult Demigods can just chill(Or Percy said ‘fuck you let us have a safezone to chill as adults’ and had some friends help buy a horse ranch in the middle of bumfucknowhere for people to set up their own town of Demigods. Because I’m pretty sure summer camp has an age limit.)

As for ages, most of them would be the ages I usually headcanon for them: Mane 7(And Flash) are 16-19, younger siblings(And Diamond) are 13/14, older siblings(and Starlight) are in early twenties. Might drop Celestia/Luna/Discord/Chrysalis down to early twenties too. 

I mean, age is irrelevant, as I’m not writing a story with them at these ages. I’m just giving the ages relevance to one another. 

Oh! So, I mentioned the whole Twilight, Shining, and Spike thing and how all that goes down. 

So, Twilight and Shining’s Mortal parents are their in-show parents. Velvet met Ares during her ‘rebel phase’ and had a one-night-stand that resulted in Shining. Night Light met Hecate and had a bit more of a relationship, but it was only a few nights and then she ‘stopped texting back’, allowing him to move on. He soon met Velvet and they fell in love. Then one night Hecate knocks on his door, drops newborn-Twilight into his arms and is like ‘Hey, I had a kid, she’d yours. I can’t take care of her or stay in your life. Bye!’. Despite the confusion, Velvet sticks by him and they get married. Also, imagine that itty bitty Shining pretty much thought Hecate was ‘the stork’ until sex-ed classes. 

Anyway, while both kids are showing various abilities(Some more concerning than others. Shining is the embodiment of ‘Let me see what you have...’ ‘A knife!’), their parents don’t know about Demigods or anything. Just that their kids have powers. They convince them to keep it all secret, which works for a while. Until one year on the last day of school. At the time, Shining’s 11 and in 5th grade, Twi’s 6 and in 1st grade. Spike happens to be going to the same school, though he doesn’t run into them often because he’s in Kindergarten. Spike’s story is that he’s an orphan, his bio mom having either disappeared or abandoned him. The adults weren’t sure about his age but stuck him in Kindergarten(we later find out he’s actually 4 at this time, but he’s a smart kid so he didn’t struggle through it). 

As I said, it’s the last day before summer break(because of course it is), when a monster manages to herd the three of them into an empty classroom. They fight the thing off well enough. Luckily, one of their teachers happened to be one of CHB’s undercover people(maybe a Satyr or a former camper). Unluckily, their teacher has to take them on the run since more monsters are chasing them. 

During their ‘on the run to camp’ time, Twilight and Shining bond with Spike a lot. They all get to camp, and get to properly message their parents(AKA give mom and dad another heart attack because phones are banned but rainbows work fantastic!), and essentially get the rundown on the whole Demigod business. 

Unfortunately, they get separated pretty quick. All three get Claimed, and sent to different cabins. While they slowly get used to sleeping so far apart and do end up making some friends with other campers, they stubbornly refuse to be separated. People try, but it’s hard to argue with the guy with a perfect intimidating stare and knife collection, the girl who has little issue spellcasting when angry, and the toddler with fire powers. 

By the end of the first summer, Twilight and Shining don’t want to leave Spike behind. I mean, his two options are either becoming a year-round camper, or going back into the foster care system. They talk to their parents about it, and it doesn’t take much convincing for them to legally adopt Spike into the family.

Oh, another family thing I’d have to talk about is Pinkie and her family. I’m not quite sure how though. Maybe she’s adopted by them at some point? I don’t usually like making Pinkie the ‘adopted’ one, but I’d kind of have to since she’s third oldest and that’s better than the alternatives. But I don’t think any of her sisters are Demigods. 

Her relationship with the Cakes though! I headcanon differently. So, I’m gonna bump up the twins to elementary school age(7). Anyway, the twins are also Demigods(children of Hermes). Someone’s probably asking ‘uh, wouldn’t that involve an affair?’. Well, I’m just going to go with either 1.)Mr. and Mrs. Cake weren’t together yet or 2.) open relationship?

Anyway, Pinkie met them two years ago. She happened to be hanging in the park near their bakery(because they still own a bakery in this au). The twins go to the park a lot after school, usually with one parent supervising the playground. This time, however, a monster attacks. Since Pinkie was nearby, she leaped into action. She manages to get the cakes to run off, and follows because the monster seems more intent on the easier kill(Aka, she can’t lure it away). 

Eventually, she manages to kill the beast, and the twins are scared but think she’s a superhero. She correctly guessed that Mr. Cake isn’t their bio dad, and asks if there’s been any other ‘incidents’, either attacks or unexplained things happening. She does decide to tell them the truth, showing off her own powers to prove it. After that sinks in, she tells them about CHB, and how it can keep the twins safe, and teach them to defend themselves. 

At first, they’re against it, as they really don’t want their kids to learn something so dangerous. But Pinkie sticks around to protect them, walking them from school in the afternoons and babysitting when they want to go to the park. Monster attacks and weird things become a bit more frequent(mostly because now the Cakes now about this, and also Pinkie can testify that it wasn’t ‘small children with overactive imaginations’).

 So they ask Pinkie about CHB again, how safe is it? She assures them that it’s safe, and that if they want, they can do it just for the summer, pretend it’s a normal summer camp. So yeah, after the school year ends they let Pinkie play navigator and drive to camp. Pinkie helps them with the sign-in process(since Mortals aren’t usually allowed in and she doesn’t have the authority yet), and both Pumpkin and Pound have been going to CHB for the summer since. Pinkie still sticks with them during the other months, protecting, babysitting, and making sure they keep their skills sharp(which terrifies their parents because, uh, you are dual-wielding swords to battle small children??), but they’re happy and safe and Pinkie’s grown on them, so they’re good with it!

I don’t think I have any more specific headcanons on how the others found out/how they got to camp. 

[shiieldmaiden]

Y’all I never post my own shit on this blog but this is Important

i’ve got an amazing dnd group and because we’re Super Invested a bunch of us made playlists for our characters

feat. a Very Long playlist write-up under the cut 💫

The Adventure Zone: Amnesty Theme by Griffin McElroy

This is the true start to this playlist, even though it’s not on Spotify. I had to start off with something from my Good Good McElboys. I imagine Bardrynn’s hometown of Quarrycrest as something of a fantasy Appalachia, all beautiful smoky mountains and close-knit families and communities living and working together. Everyone knew everyone and everyone helped everyone. What better way to set that scene than the Amnesty theme?

Woman by Kesha

Bardrynn is so. goddamn. independent. She’s impatient, she’s impulsive, and she’s not one to let just anyone tell her what to do. She’s a motherfuckin woman and this song captures her attitude, especially before she got more familiar with the darker parts of the world. She takes responsibility for herself, does things for herself, and doesn’t like asking for help. She’s got this.

Mess is Mine by Vance Joy

That being said, she’s a fiercely loyal friend. Bardrynn is a Gryffindor through and through and she will do anything for her friends. Well hold on, my darling. This mess was yours, now your mess is mine. She is someone who will shoulder her friends’ troubles without a second thought. You know you gave me all your time, but did I give enough of mine? Even though she gives so much to her friends, she still worries that it might not be enough. She wants to be enough for her friends, to be there whenever they need her, whatever they need her for. If she can’t be there for her friends, what good is she to them?

Mountain Sound by Of Monsters and Men

No matter how far she travels, Bardrynn’s heart lies in the mountains. She knows that whatever happens, she has the mountains to go home to. And as brave as she is, she’d be lying if she said she’d never considered running away from her problems and running home to those mountains. Heard them calling in the distance, so I packed my things and ran.

Map of the World by Monsters of Folk

She may be a small town girl, but Bardrynn has a streak of wanderlust to her. She wants to see the world, she wants to explore, she wants to see and experience new things. That far-off feeling, that up-close kind of ache - she tries to fight it, she denies it like hell, but Bardrynn is homesick. She has been for awhile, but she’s just ignored it. Having friends helps. Exploring new things and going on exciting quests helps. She’s doing what she wanted, she’s doing good and seeing the world, so why isn’t she happier?

Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles

A little self-explanatory, your girl tries to keep a positive outlook. She knows she’s not the brightest and doesn’t always notice things, but one thing she does notice is that if she keeps up a positive attitude, the people around her tend to perk up too. And I say “It’s alright”

Ain’t No Mountain High Enough by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell

Wow, is that Bardrynn’s Saving People Thing I see?? Holy cow, that’s Bardrynn’s Saving People Thing I see!! I told you you could always count on me darlin’. From that day on, I made a vow - I’ll be there when you want me some way somehow. Bardrynn will do absolutely anything for her friends - from taking the blame for ruining the publicity campaign in Dragon’s Brawl and getting herself fired so that Mori could keep her job to throwing herself into harm’s way to protect her party members. She’ll move heaven and earth to help her friends, drop anything to go to their side, hell she’ll take a killing blow if it means her friend will live.

Maps for the Getaway by Andrew McMahon In The Wilderness

Leaving home to go fight for Dragon’s Brawl was hard. It was really fucking hard. For all her life, Bardrynn had lived in Quarrycrest. Her family lived in Quarrycrest. Her ancestors were buried in Quarrycrest up in the family plot at the top of the Oakburn holler. (If she has anything to say about it, she’ll be buried there too, when her time comes) No cash in the bank, no paid holidays, all we have - all we have is gas in the tank, maps for the getaway. She had a dream and a plan and a metric ton of uncertainty, but she did it anyway and she was so proud of herself when she was able to write home to tell her family that she had done it. She was a professional fighter.

The Boxer by Paul Simon (Mumford & Sons cover)

When I left my home and my family, I was no more than a boy. In the company of strangers, in the quiet of the railway stations, running scared. The mood of this song, the story of a fighter doing what they love in the ring and then struggling with loneliness outside of it is just - it’s so perfect. It took Bardrynn awhile to regain her footing with her new job away from home. Even with Mori there, it wasn’t the same as being able to just walk down the holler a bit to say hello to her brother or strolling into town and saying hello to everyone she passed on the way. Plus, Mumford’s sound is so Appalachia to me, it suits Bardrynn really fucking well, all strings, bluegrass rhythms, and tight harmonies.

In the clearing stands a boxer and a fighter by his trade, and he carries the reminder of every glove that laid him down and cut him til he cried out in his anger and his shame “I am leaving, I am leaving,” but the fighter still remains.

Applause by Lady Gaga

Once she got her footing though, once Bardrynn got comfortable, she was fucking ecstatic with her life. She practically got high off of the crowds and their reactions to her, their applause and their cheers. Nothing could bring her down when a stadium of fans were cheering her name. I live for the applause

Jenny by the Studio Killers

OOF. Bardrynn’s bad at feelings. She didn’t plan on catching feelings for Mori. She really didn’t. She didn’t even realize it was happening at first, she’s terrible at reading feelings from anyone, including herself. She was her best friend! She couldn’t feel like this about her, she was just a really close friend! Jenny darlin’, you’re my best friend, but there’s a few things that you don’t know… Once she figured it out (it took her an embarrassingly long time, looking back), she tried to just shove it down, ignore it. Telling her would just ruin things. They had a good thing going, the two of them being best friends in and out of the ring. That was, until their bosses decided they needed to stage a rivalry between them.

Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons

Bardrynn carries a lot of guilt over fucking up that fake rivalry. It was just one slip-up, they’d been doing so well. But Mori had made a really funny joke and Bardrynn couldn’t help but laugh and someone had to go and catch her looking at her like that… and the next thing they knew, the two of them were being threatened with losing their jobs over the way they handled that “publicity strategy,” or whatever the fuck the boss had called it.

So Bardrynn took the blame.

She couldn’t let Mori get fired too. But it was not your fault but mine. And it was your heart on the line. I really fucked it up this time, didn’t I my dear? It was her fault, not Mori’s. Only one of them should lose their job over this and if someone had to take the fall for it, it was going to be Bardrynn. Mori tried to argue when Bardrynn told their boss that it was her fault, but she wouldn’t hear any of it. Bardrynn couldn’t fix the damage she’d done to Mori’s image as a fighter, she couldn’t fix any dips in popularity her fights might suffer, but she could make sure she kept her job.

And now, she’s terrified of letting her friends down. She doesn’t want to fail them like she did Mori. She can’t let that happen. Let’s be real, Bardrynn would die for her friends or her family without a second thought.

Bastards by Kesha

After her fallout with Dragon’s Brawl, there were a lot of people who started bad-mouthing Bardrynn. People who accused her of ruining the Dragon’s Brawl story because she couldn’t just play along, people who were disappointed in her for failing at this, people who were angry with her for messing up this or that. Been underestimated my entire life. I know people gonna talk shit, and darlin’ that’s fine. But they won’t break my spirit, I won’t let ‘em win. I’ll just keep on livin, keep on livin’ the way I wanna live. It was hard, really fucking hard to brush it off, but Bardrynn did her best to not let it bother her. She’s gotten better at it. She’s gotten a lot better at it. It’s still hard sometimes, and she still feels guilty sometimes when she braids that bright blue ribbon from a fan into her hair, but she’s getting better at tieing those reminders to the good memories rather than the bad ones.

Heaven When We’re Home by The Wailin’ Jennys

Been a fool, I’ve been cruel to myself. Been hangin’ on to nothin’ when nothin’ could be worse than hangin on. And somethin’ tells me, there must be something better than all this … And it’s a long and rugged road, and we don’t know where it’s headed. But we know it’s gonna get us where we’re goin’. And when we find what we’re lookin’ for, we’ll drop these bags and search no more, cuz it’s gonna feel like heaven when we’re home. I’m tempted to just leave it with those lyrics, but tbh, they’re very true to her attitude going forward from Dragon’s Brawl. She wandered, she didn’t know where she was headed, but she trusted that she’d figure it out eventually. So far it’s worked out alright. Plus, the Wailin’ Jennys’ sound is just So Perfectly Bardrynn. I also love the harmonies in the chorus, kinda shows, at least to me, how important having people around her is to Bardrynn. And maybe I’ll walk awhile and feel the earth beneath me. They say if you start lookin’, it doesn’t matter if you find it. And who’s to say that even if I did, it’s what I’m really looking for?

Below My Feet by Mumford & Sons

Keep the earth below my feet. From my sweat, my blood runs weak. Let me learn from where I have been. Keep my eyes to serve, my hands to learn. As she started traveling the world and exploring, Bardrynn started to see things in terms of what she could do - what she could do for other people besides just the ones she holds nearest and dearest. She started helping people. She started looking for people to help, jobs to take, towns to protect. Anything she could do to make herself useful, to find some kind of purpose beyond just wandering aimlessly, unemployed and technically homeless. She found that helping people was really fulfilling. She liked it. She was good at it. And it made other people happy, it made other people safe.

We’re Going to Be Friends by The White Stripes

Bardrynn makes friends super goddamn fast. She’s a friendly and outgoing woman, and while she may not be good at telling if someone is lying, she believes that she has a good sense of when someone is going to be a friend. To be fair, she tends to go by the philosophy of friend until proven not friend, but still. She could tell within ten minutes of meeting the party that this was going to be a good thing. They were going to be friends and it was going to be so much goddamn fun. And when I wake, tomorrow I’ll bet that you and I will walk together again. I can tell that we are gonna be friends.

I Wanna Be Your Girlfriend by girl in red

Now, Bardrynn has a wisdom of 9. She’s terrible at recognizing other people’s feelings and even worse at diagnosing her own feelings. This has happened to her before, with Mori. She got confused, she was certain that the feelings she had towards Mori were just that of a best friend. 

She would’ve been this freaked out if anyone in the party died, right? Sure, she’s been worried about Liana and keeping an eye on her in battle since she died and came back to life, and she might feel a little more protective of her lately, but it’d be the same for anyone else in the party if they died, right?

Right?

Beautiful Dawn by The Wailin’ Jennys

I feel like this rounds her out nicely. Bardrynn is trying to get better. She’s trying to improve herself, to grow, to become the friend her friends need her to be. She’s trying to become the woman she wants to be, more than just a brokenhearted has-been fighter - a woman who doesn’t let down her loved ones, a woman who protects those she cares about, a woman who defends those who can’t defend themselves, a woman who can do some good in the world. Take me to a place where I feel no shame, take me where courage doesn’t need a name. Learning how to cry is the hardest part, and there’s only one way to mend a broken heart.

Dang, this is a long post.

[artnerd1123]

Roo’s Character Sheet

I started this a good long while ago, but finally finished it!!! Here’s all the deets on everyone’s favorite lil paint kitty :D (and apologies to those the cut doesn’t work for lskdjfs)

Character Chart Character’s full name: Roo Pingere Reason or meaning of name: “Roo” is what happens when you mash “red” and “hue” together; aiden’s not the best at names, and named the lil guy after a red paint splotch the kitten took an interest in. Fitting, seeing as Roo himself was made out of spilled paint. Pingere is latin for paint. Character’s nickname: Roodle, Roodle doodle, paint spot, honey bun, bud/buddy, doughball  Reason for nickname: Roodle/Roodle doodle are Aiden’s nicknames for Roo, on account of him looking like a doodle of a cat. Also, rhymes. Aiden also calls him bud/buddy sometimes jus bc it’s an affectionate nickname for a son. Journal will occasionally call Roo “paint spot” as a kinda older-brother giving younger-brother that he likes a nickname type deal. Honey bun is a term of endearment seraph uses for him, as is doughball Birth date: October 13th Sexuality: biromantic  Gender/pronouns: ???, he/him

Physical appearance Age: 10 (note: familiars are “mature” at 3yrs of age) How old do they appear: depends how mature he’s acting. some people would say he’s baby, but he normally acts around 17-19 tbh Weight: he’s made of paint. Maybe somewhere around 50-60 pounds tho? Height: 2’9’’ Body build: he is a Literal Bean™ with noodly arms n legs Shape of face: cat Eye color: black scleras, his irises are white with a black ring inside it, but his iris turns orange w/black slit in feral form Glasses or contacts: none Skin tone: pale indigo with darker indigo fur, and lavender cheeks Distinguishing marks: his cheeks each have two horizontal purple lines on them, and he also has freckles *shrugs* Predominant features: his big ol ears n fluffy tail, as well as dripping paint Hair color: technically fur, but indigo Type of hair: fur :V Hairstyle: none Voice: his vc is over here! Overall attractiveness: jus an adorkable lil bean Physical disabilities: none (unless not being able to touch water is one :V) Usual fashion of dress: doesn’t tend to wear anything but cloaks Favorite outfit: his classic brown cloak w/ many layered patches added over the years, held together with his indigo gem/silver cloak clasp Jewelry or accessories: has a silver cloak clasp with a circular indigo gem inlaid

Personality Good personality traits: good natured, wants to help, good listener, gives good advice, easy to make himself and others laugh, loyal, bubbly once you get to know him, dedicated, supportive, extremely loving/affectionate, does his best, very slow to anger, good secret keeper, will let loved ones know how he feels regardless of the emotion Bad personality traits: frightfully shy, indecisive in times of stress, easily scared, easily stressed, social and regular anxiety, very emotional, has a tendency to beat himself up over mistakes/things he did wrong, scares himself sometimes, if you actually somehow manage to make him mad he gets vicious, needs gentle handling if he’s overwhelmed or he’ll have a meltdown Mood character is most often in: a toss up between anxious and content Sense of humor: wordplay and making stupid faces are his go to. Puns are his favorite! These, likewise, will pretty much never fail to make him smile or laugh. Corny jokes are another failsafe that’ll cheer him up/make him laugh easily Character’s greatest joy in life: being able to paint on just about anything with his tail, and sitting in the sun/other warm places near people he loves Character’s greatest fear: being separated from Aiden unwillingly (aka getting lost) and blood Why: blood just… freaks him out. It always has. Whether it’s the implication of violence or just the sight of the bodily fluid, it will never fail to distress him. Aiden is also his originator, and the one person he relies on most. Without him, Roo wouldn’t know what to do with himself   What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? Losing Aiden. Character is most at ease when: with aiden, especially in places that they stop to rest in towns. If aiden’s not around, he’s most at ease with good friends or staying in the place they’ve found to live in. If there’s a windowsill or armchair to curl up in, then that’s even better! He’s almost always calm when he’s curled up somewhere comfy, with people he knows well close by. Most ill at ease when: aiden’s away, he’s on his own, during thunderstorms, or they’re right in the middle of somewhere really dangerous. Foggy/dark forests, old abandoned ruins, and anywhere wet/damp are all fair game. But he has to be alone to be truly ill at ease. He really doesn’t like being all alone. Enraged when: you manage to push all his buttons and break through his anxiety to tick him off. This barely ever happens, but it can if you continuously harass his friends/family. The moment he stops being scared of you, he’ll fight you himself. Angery Kitty™ Depressed or sad when: he messes up, he feels like he’s failed, he’s been anxious too long, [redacted] happens, they’re out of his favorite food/paint/etc at home, it’s been raining for awhile Priorities: helping/hanging out with aiden, tryna keep him safe, doing the same for all his friends, trying to do his best in any situation, and taking time to himself to recuperate if he needs it Life philosophy: treat others how you want to be treated, always be kind and respectful, and give plenty of chances. But when it comes down to it, know when to put your foot down, and know when things are out of your hands. Just do what you can while you can. Do the best you can do. If granted one wish, it would be: to have a safe home where he and aiden can settle down… (particularly with a partner of his own~) Why? As much as Roo likes exploring new places with Aiden, he misses the days when they were happily settled in a questor village, with friends and familiar surroundings that never changed. He wants to find a place in the world and settle there, away from danger and scary things where they can jus hang out together. He’s also always been a bit of a romantic, and he’d really like a partner one day. Jus someone to lov on and to lov him back, y’kno? Character’s soft spot: shiny/colorful things, friends, and scritches behind his ears Is this soft spot obvious to others? Yep. Completely. Spend a little time around him and present one of these things to him, and you’ll def be able to see him light up :D Greatest strength: he’s really observant of others/his surroundings, and thus very introspective. This allows him to offer good advice and insight on any given situation that he’s a part of. Also, his feral form def packs a punch >:V Greatest vulnerability or weakness: he’s scared of a lotta things, and his anxiety also super sucks. if he’s in a stressful situation, these tend to lock him into a state of horrible indecision. Not to mention his feral form is kinda out of control. He gets really anxious/self conscious about it. Biggest regret: not being able to control himself in his feral form Minor regret: being so shy around new people Biggest accomplishment: he doesn’t quite have a crowning achievement, but he’s helped aiden outta plenty of dangerous situations while questing. Minor accomplishment: he’s found a way to sleep on literally any windowsill, no matter how small. Magic kitty :D Past failures they would be embarrassed to have people know about: back when he was still learning how to clean up properly, he used to get the places objects went confused. Clothes would end up in the kitchen, paints in aiden’s dresser, and pots n pans would end up wedged in with the art supplies. It was a fun time. Why? Roo likes to think he’s helpful n organized… this is certainly a big spot on his record XD Character’s darkest secret: he’s actually terrified of himself/his feral form. Like. Pure, unbridled fear. He gets really bad nightmares about it hurting people he cares about sometimes.   Does anyone else know? Ye, aiden does. Aiden tries to help Roo get past this fear.

Goals Drives and motivations: maintaining safety during quests is a big one, as well as finding time to himself/to rest from being around people. If he can avoid crowds in general, he’ll do jus about anything to make sure it happens. He also wants to help his friends n family stay happy, or at least give them good support. He’s driven by a sense of responsibility, as well as knowing how bad it is to feel horrid, and jus wantin to stop people from feelin that way. Immediate goals: make sure the house stays relatively clean/organized, help where needed, find a warm place to nap, find some sort of scrap/etc to play with, try and get into the cookies (again) or jus get his paws on som sort of sweets. Long term goals: help out on any and all quests, protect aiden, and find somewhere they can properly put down some roots How the character plans to accomplish these goals: attentiveness, working through his fear/anxiety, and trying his best How other characters will be affected: positively! He jus wanna have a safe place with his originator n friends ;w;

Past Hometown: the town aiden had settled in before taking up his questor career Type of childhood: happy and untroubled! He had a few major run ins with fear, but aiden was always there for him. It was pretty perfect as far as a familiar’s “childhood” can get. Pets: none First memory: seeing aiden in his living room Most important childhood memory: his first thunderstorm; namely, what happened during it. Why: It was the first time Aiden had left the house without him, and he wasn’t able to follow. The fear he felt from all the thunderous crashing and rain ended up pushing him far enough to turn into his feral form-- also a first. However, Aiden came home as soon as he’d found out about his familiar’s troubles, and spent the whole rest of the night with him. It taught him that Aiden was a constant, and would always be there to comfort and take care of him. It was also his introduction to his feral form-- something that definitely still impacts him to this day. Childhood hero: aiden!!! Dream job: he’d like to go into design tbh. He enjoys drawing patterns, and likes decorating things. If he could do that for a living, he’d be gold! Education: plenty of book knowledge, taught by aiden, and plenty of world experience too. He’s pretty well rounded in all aspects (tho he’s skewed in the direction of observation/working out solutions to actual situations rather than anythin else) Religion: n/a Finances: aiden takes care of that

Present (for all intents and purposes, present counts as mid-story. Makes things easier to answer.) Current location: an apartment in a bustling town surrounded by forests. (town still needs a name) Currently living with: Aiden and Journal Pets: none Religion: n/a Occupation: familiar (doesn’t really have a job, but cleans around the house and such) Finances: aiden still takes care of this

Family Mother: Relationship with her: Father: Aiden Relationship with him: loving and caring, lossa respect and trust! There’s nothing Aiden wouldn’t do for em, and the reverse is true. Siblings: Relationship with them: Spouse:  Relationship with them:  Children: Relationship with them: Other important family members: Journal, ruffy (in the future), seraph (also in the future, becomes spouse)

Favorites Color: dark blue! Least favorite color: that kinda pukey looking brownish green color. When it gets later in the story, he absolutely hates the color of blood (both dried and still wet) Music: anything kinda jaunty and upbeat! Pop and carnival music are some he likes a lot. He’s also got a soft spot for lullabies and anything played by a music box. Food: biscuits!!!!!!!!!! Literature: loves fairytales, particularly ones with cute romance plots. He’s a sucker for mushy gushy cute stuff, happy endings, and magical expeditions. Form of entertainment: fireside storytelling!!! Or regular storytelling. That’s fine too. The more hand motions, voices, and possible magic visual aids, the better. Expressions: that shouty, loud, bubbly excitement that happens when you put someone in front of their favorite things. Mode of transportation: riding on someone’s shoulders, or otherwise being carried Most prized possession: his cloak. It’s patched up and well loved, since he’s had it so long!

Habits Hobbies: painting, watching birds, dancing, reading, climbing on things, finding out new ways to get into the cookie jar Plays a musical instrument? nope Plays a sport? If parkour across the apartment at 3am counts, then yep How they would spend a rainy day: inside, curled up somewhere warm. Preferably as far from windows as possible, with a cup of hot cocoa and a ball of yarn to paw at. Spending habits: doesn’t tend to buy much of anything. He buys hot cocoa packets, biscuit mix, paper, and new patches for his cloak every so often tho Smokes: no Drinks: the only thing he consistently drinks is hot cocoa Other drugs: nooooooope What do they do too much of? Worrying about things and what strangers he’s interacted with are thinking of him What do they do too little of? Letting go of situations that went horribly wrong in the past. Extremely skilled at: organizing, picking apart a situation or how people are feeling to give good feedback/advice, sleeping on windowsills Extremely unskilled at: tasks that require you to do a whole lotta things at once, interacting with a lot of people at once, coping on his own in a really stressful situation Nervous tics: fidgeting with paws, quiet meowing, constant glancing around, flicking his ears back and tucking his tail between his legs Usual body posture: kinda slouched, ears perked, and tail either resting on the ground or up in a loose “S” shape Mannerisms: around strangers he’s very soft spoken and timid, hides behind things a lot, and sticks close to places/people he knows. If you manage to get him out of his shell, he’s easily excitable and very bubbly. Likes to ask questions, play with scraps and trash, and clean things up so it looks nice. He’s kindhearted and sweet to everyone, and will occasionally rub up against things or people he really likes. Easily startled. Avoids water/damp things. Doesn’t tend to spend much time in crowded areas, or enjoy it at all. Peculiarities: if he gets too overwhelmed by negative emotions (mostly fear), he can only meow instead of speak. He’ll also drip paint at different rates depending on his mood (the faster it drips, the more distressed and/or angry he is)

Traits Optimist or pessimist? Tries his best to be optimistic, but can sometimes break down and turn into a kinda paranoid pessimist (thank u anxiety) Introvert or extrovert? Biiiiig introvert, but needs close friends somewhere he can reach to feel secure. Daredevil or cautious? Def errs on the side of caution! He can be reckless if distressed tho Logical or emotional? V emotional. Trusts his gut on things. Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Methodical ftw! He likes his space at least mostly clean! Prefers working or relaxing? He’s alright as long as he’s enjoying himself, but relaxing wins out. Confident or unsure of themself? Yes. (depends on the situation lol) Animal lover? Yea!!! Dogs and other canines make him nervous, and bugs kinda freak him out, but he likes jus about everything else :0

Self-perception How they feel about themself: he thinks he’s timid, a little too anxious, and a little too easily scared, but a good, kind familiar who’s doing his best to improve himself n live a good life!!! He’s absolutely terrified of his feral form.  One word the character would use to describe self: sheepish One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: “My name’s Roo, an’ I’m a twelve yeah old cat familieh. I’m kind of a nervous mess sometimes, b-but I’m doin my best to fix that! Or at least teh cope! I’ve been told I’m a sweetheart, and that i’m really easy to excite ‘n make laugh. I’m always tryna be kind an’ understandin! I’ll lend yeh my ear, if yeh need someone to listen, an’ I’m really good at giving advice.” “Um… about my hobbies… I like to organize things, paint, an’ dance! Oh, and watch birds!!! They’re really really cool… Just like my friends! I love them a whole lot, and there’s nothin I wouldn’t do for em!!!” “... One last thing…? Mnn… um… I’m… I’m not all too fond of my feral form. And I see it a lot more ‘n i’d like to. I-I’m way more emotional ‘n easily stressed than I’d like s-sometimes…” What does the character consider their best personality trait? His excited nature and/or ability to give quiet support What does the character consider their worst personality trait? His fear/anxiety What does the character consider their best physical characteristic? His freckles!!! He likes his lil spattering of spots across his snoot. His fluffy fur is another good contender. What does the character consider their worst physical characteristic? How he drips paint, tbh. It can make quite a mess if it gets out of hand. How does the character think others perceive them: helpful, kind and sweet, but a little childish (that last part kinda bugs him sometimes) What would the character most like to change about themself: his anxiety and feral form. Anxiety has always been something he struggles with, and he’d really like to downsize it to at least a more manageable level. As for feral form, he absolutely hates that he turns into a giant violent panther when he gets too stressed-- especially since it’s hurt people before.

Relationships with others Opinion of other people in general: people are mostly good, even with the few rotten apples that pop up from time to time. Large amounts of em are exhausting to be around a lot tho. Does the character hide their true opinions and emotions from others? Not often. Roo’s pretty much an open book. If he does hide something, he’s got a good reason for it, or you’re someone he doesn’t know well at all. Person character most hates: nobody, really. (this does change as the story goes on tho. Ho boi) Best friend(s): Aiden, Journal, Ruffy and Seraph (both in the future) Love interest(s): Seraph~ Person character goes to for advice: Aiden Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: also Aiden, Journal sometimes, and Seraph/ruffy in the future Person character feels shy or awkward around: any new person ever. Feels awkward around Seraph until crushes are admitted. Person character openly admires: all his friends!!! Person character secretly admires: Seraph (for a bit, anyway ;3) Most important person in character’s life before story starts: Aiden After story starts: Seraph, Journal, Ruffy, and still Aiden