#it cannot be peak it’s just not technically possible
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There are ppl that think the ending of Rogue One is “peak Star Wars” and oh god that makes me so sad.
#anti disney star wars#oh man#i might agree if any of the characters were likeable aside from K2#EVERYTHING Disney SW is is ripped off from the original GL SW#all of it#it cannot be peak it’s just not technically possible
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My memory is terrible so I wanted to do a breakdown of my stuff every once in a while. Might be monthly, might be whenever I feel like it. And also. Spoilers and opinions below, read at your own risk.
QL - Currently Watching
🇯🇵I Hear the Sunspot [1/12] - I'm so grateful that I get a new jbl just as I'm mourning the end of the last one. I didn't read this manga but I've watched the film, and I really liked it even if it felt unfinished. Hopefully with 12 episodes it means we get the full story. This was a very good first episode, I feel like we established the main relationships dynamics and got a good insight into the main characters core. Taichi is my new child.
🇹🇭 Knock Knock, Boys! [6/12] - I continue to enjoy this group. Jane turned out to be a great addition instead of what I feared, but Peak really needs to step up so I can keep rooting for him and Thanwa, cause I'm also not a huge fan of the ex coming back as an obstacle for the couple. Latte and Almond are really great together and I'm curious how Almond will deal with his feelings for Latte, when he actually realizes he's having them.
🇹🇭Love Sea [4/12] - Before anything else, I love the ocean and I love when shows get out of the city. Also I like Mut. Now. I'm not a Mame hater. I'm a 'trauma is the only way to write deep characters' hater. I'm also a 'trauma gives you an excuse to be an asshole' hater. But most of all, I'm very much a 'love will fix you' hater. So just don't give me 3 out of 3 and it's fine. Also this last episode, all the talk about money and contracts made me feel some kind of way, although it doesn't seem to bother Mut so... And as much I like having Aya on my screen, Mook is really testing that line between cute and incredibly annoying. I'm not sure how long I'm staying with this one.
🇹🇭My Love Mix-Up! [4/12] - So... this is not good. The technical aspects of this are actually bad. Considering the number of sponsors is actually kinda incredible that it's so badly put together. The sound, the lighting, the editing, overall just... not good. Now, the rest. Look I don't want to ruin anybody's fun, so I'll keep watching this one quietly, unless something outrageous happens. But for the record, and this is all I'm gonna say, they are ruining the best parts of these characters and this story, and even if I ignore that (which I can't because it's an adaptation), it's pandering and it's a lazy attempt at recapturing the magic of msp, with a worse script and recycled material. Also I cannot believe they didn't put Atom in a trashing bag.
🇹🇭 My Stand-In [1/12] - For a number of reasons I'm waiting to binge this one. I do love watching the gifs on my dash though, pretty is pretty.
🇯🇵Ossan no Pants ga Nandatte Ii Janai ka! [9/11] - It's so good. I love them all. This last episode I was close to tears in several parts but the street proposal ended me. It's definitely one of those shows that I'm grateful that I get to watch even if I can't always find the words to talk about it. These characters have my whole heart. [everyone should be watching this and the wonderful @isaksbestpillow has made that possible with her subs. Here is the post with the latest episode. ]
🇹🇭SunsetxVibes [3/12] - It's ridiculous, it's fun, it's cute. Sun is such a simp. Man basically proposed before they were even dating. And yeah the way it started was not amazing, with the lying, but these two actually communicate about their expectations and what they're feeling which is better than a lot of shows right now. And I adore the sides.
🇹🇭The Rebound [2/12] - Everyone is gay and naked. And they play a sport of some kind.
🇹🇭The Trainee [1/12] - OffGun are back! I really liked the set up for this. It's only the first episode but I really like how they are walking the line between the comedy and the seriousness of the workplace. I love a good friend group so I'm looking forward to seeing how the relationships between all the interns grow. Poon is once again playing the silly brainless child of the pack but I don't care, I adore that kid for some reason. And next week we already got Gun crying so what's not to like?
🇹🇭 Wandee Goodday [10/12] - I already talked about my feelings regarding the last episode. I'm here for Oyei/Cher and Plakao. I love Inn and Great, they deliver with the chemistry but the DeeYak storyline is just a mess for me right now. I am also not looking forward to the inevitable redemption of the terrible parental figure.
🇹🇭 We Are [13/16] - The friendships are still great and mainly why I'm watching. I have a really good time watching those scenes. Only 3 episodes left and ChainPun continue to be the tinniest of crumbs. I don't expect much from this couple at this point and I'm a bit disappointed. FangTan are so cute and such good communicators. They are my favourites. QToey are cute. Now, Phum and Peem. Look PondPhuwin are really good at looking at each other like they're the only person in the universe. However. There's only so many times I can enjoy them staring at each other in slow mo. Once per episode oughta be enough I think. Hopefully now that they're actual boyfriends it gets a little less annoying.
QL - Finished
🇯🇵25 Ji, Akasaka de - What an incredible journey. I have to say it has been a while since a show surprised me this much, for the positive. For most of it I wasn't sure where it was gonna go or how it would end or who would be doing the running. The way they played with the show within a show was so well done. I loved the change in pov, which I always love in jbls, but it not only gave us the opportunity to see how Hayama's crush started but also we were allowed to see behind the mask that Hayama had been keeping up. Speaking of. I love him, one of my favourite characters of the year. And Komagine Kiita did an incredible job. I can't wait to watch him again when Tengu returns. If I had to say, the one thing I wish I had was more of Shirasaki's backstory. I wanted to understand better why his self-esteem got that bad. But that ending was great and honestly, I earned it.
🇵🇭Marahuyo Project - Well that was excellent. This show is beautiful. I want to hug them all and walk next to them. I really don't have the words for it right now so just go watch it. Because these characters are incredible and the visuals are stunning. All episodes here.
🇹🇭 Only Boo! - This is getting tiresome. Here it goes. Why? It was so great. They were the cutest shit and I had a smile on my face the entire episode. Even with the singing. It was wholesome and the mains delightful. And then... Heartbreak, time skip, no consequences, unearned happy ending. I mean Moo is a great character still, and Kang is the best boy, but I'm tired.
Rose Watches OJBL
Mood Indigo (2019) - I liked this one slightly better than the first. I think the visuals are stronger and there are some incredible shots throughout. The sex scenes are some of the best shot that I've ever seen. I love Kijima so even though I'm not always on board with prequels, it was great that we got more insight into him. Obviously we know this relationship was doomed from the start, and Kido has a lot to do with how we find Kijima in the beginning of The Novelist, but I can't help but feel for Kido. He is a mess that is struggling between the expectations that are on him (put there by others but also himself) and the affection and desire he feels for Kijima. And even without watching The Novelist there is always an air that this will not end well. For lack of a better phrase, it just wasn't meant to be. I'm looking forward to watching the rest of this series.
Dangerous Drugs of Sex (2020) - One of my first thoughts when I was watching this was 'we are using the word unhinged too freely'. Cause Ryoji has little competition on that score. This is not an easy watch. I really liked the way it was shot even if at times that meant my view was too narrow so I couldn't look anywhere else but the 'uglier' parts. In completely different ways they were both stuck in an uncomfortable (yeah that's not really the best word but I can't think of another) place and I could feel that throughout. I'm not sure about the ending but they look happy, so what do I know?
Other - Watched
There's a lot airing so I didn't watch much outside ql. I finished Under the Skin and rewatched a couple of things. My watchlist got longer and I have a bunch of shows that I'll hopefully tackle during my summer holiday in July. Speaking of...
There is a lot coming next month, so here is a post with all the shows that have been announced for July that I updated to include Meet You at the Blossom that was recently announced. New jbl starts tomorrow!!!!
As usual my ask box is open for questions or requests. Have a wonderful week💜
#rosy watchlist#i hear the sunspot#Hidamari ga Kikoeru#wandee goodday#the trainee#knock knock boys#we are the series#love sea the series#sunset x vibes#only boo the series#25 ji akasaka de#ossan no pantsu ga nandatte ii janai ka#the rebound#Marahuyo Project#Dangerous Drugs of Sex#mood indigo#Rose Watches OJBL#multi ql#rose rambles
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General information about Xalau's worlds!
Xalau is the One and Only Major god; Xalau's Multiverse is the only one where Incarnations aren't considered part of the Pantheon. They're a rank below Xalau, alongside Timorós. Below them are unofficial gods like Illios and Themis.
-The most known Incarnations are Phobos (fear) and the Incarnation of Hatred and Death (sometimes simplified to just the domain of War), who remains nameless (humans often call them Ares, though). The Incarnation of Hatred was also Themis's inspiration for Xalqikenxes (murderous shadows) in Saliirvelm, one of Other-Realm's worlds. Other Incarnations include Loimós the incarnation of Plague and Famine, Óllumi incarnation of destruction and (political?) corruption, Zoí the incarnation of Life, and Penthos the incarnation of Grief.
Xalau, and by extent his Multiverse, has been around for 76 billion years.
Xekolus (false angels) protect and bless people, but have very strict rules. They cannot interfere with any major events, regardless of the outcome for the person they guard. If they break this rule, they will be cast out and Fall, in which they get deathly sick and slowly die, unable to be cured.
-If a Xekolu does not take their job as Protector, they cannot fall. It is possible for them to be banished or shunned without Falling, but it's uncommon; many Xekolus have a strict moral code of good vs evil, and they highly dislike causing harm.
Xealruqs (false demons) enact Vengeance, choosing someone who has greatly hurt others, and hunting them down until the person's death. Since Xealruqs do not follow Xalau and are quite far from him, they do not have any rules other than to not directly kill their target. If this rule is broken, they are not allowed to be a Vengeful for the rest of their life.
-Xekolus & Xealruqs have an average lifespan of 800,000 years due to aging incredibly slowly. Due to this, Mortals believe they're all immortal, especially since the major positions change very rarely, if at all.
-Both are incredibly hard to kill, normally only dying of old age, being decapitated, or having their heart destroyed. Technically they could survive their heart being removed if it stays intact.
-Both species have other jobs they can do. The majority of Xekolus choose other professions than their Main Purpose due to the many restrictions, ranging from jewelry making to guarding Xalau to farming to working in the Library, the culmination of most knowledge in Xalau's worlds.
-Xealruqs rarely follow other professions, and most that do are ones who are banned from being Vengeful due to breaking the one rule. There's no societal backlash against those Xealruqs, though. Xalau's Multiverse is highly dystopian, most Vengefuls wish they could kill their target.
-hybrids between the two are uncommon, but possible. They are capable of following either Guardian profession, though it's common for them to choose Xealruqs. There's no societal backlash against hybrids or their parents, especially since the first Xealruq and Xekolu were lovers.
-Both of them can also produce hybrids with humans, but it's very rare and the children tend to be 'weak' by Xek & Xeal standards, both physically and magically, and therefore someone that needs to stay within their Realm and be protected.
Timorós and Phúlax were the first Xealruq and Xekolu respectively, created by Zenza after Xalau. Phúlax was a Guardian, while Timorós was a Vengeful. Phúlax was killed in a rebellion against Xalau after Zenza left, and her death sent Timorós into a blind vengeful rage, where he destroyed several Realms while trying to get to Xalau, before being stopped and banished to an isolated Realm.
-A few hundred years ago, Timorós had returned, and has stayed in the Judge's palace since.
Xekolus and Xealruqs technically live in the same Realm; a large mountainous Realm with incredibly tall mountains. Xekolus live near the peaks, and Xealruqs live in ravines, caves, and the sides of cliffs. Their realm is called Quenvelm. The foot of the mountains have very dense forests, so they're normally avoided.
The Judge, who essentially takes care of important events regarding the Mythical entities, changes around 50,000 years and is chosen via voting. The Judge has to remain completely unbiased, willing to see all sides, and act with everyone's best interests in mind. There's an interval at 25,000 years into term where they can be voted out if people believe they became corrupted. Every cycle, it changes between a Xekolu and a Xealruq. If someone has been elected before, they cannot be chosen again.
-The previous Judge was Themis, a Xekolu, but her term got cut short because of her increasing bias in favor of "good". Xeqivu (commonly called by their last name, Zalzol, due to their own personal preferences) is the current judge. Zalzol is 12,029 years into their term.
-Themis fled Xalau's Multiverse via a small break in the barrier that separated it from Other-Realm and Drakerivelm, and currently resides in a barely functional world in Other-Realm that she had created.
Plague Wolves are one of the most well-known multi-realm Mythical Creature. They were 'created' by Loimós, and are commonly called Loimós Lykos by Mythical entities. They follow major catastrophes, like wars, plagues, volcanic disasters, earthquakes, and other natural disasters. They are considered mostly harmless other than the plagues they can transmit, and are normally not hostile.
-Plague Wolves feed on carrion, and are sometimes kept as pets by Xealruqs.
The Afterlife is vaguely similar to the Greek Underworld, often considered as somewhere deep under the surface of the Xekolu & Xealruq's home realm. It has a palace in the middle, home to the Thanata family, and has vague sections for 'good', 'bad', and 'neutral', though the sections of the Underworld have blended together over time. Outside of the gardens and villages that make up the Underworld's living space, there's just solid, dark rock, around and high above the domain.
-The Thanata family rules the Underworld. Many generations ago, the matriarch Eirene, child of Xalau and Illios, got exiled. She took over rule the Underworld as she Fell, passing the throne to her only child Hades (who is also the first known Xealruq-Xekolu hybrid in recorded history) after she succumbed to the illness. The members of the Thanata family still never look exactly right, and tend to have powers specific to Xekolus despite being almost entirely Xealruqs for generations. They also almost always have magenta eyes, instead of the normal orange eyes.
-The eldest child of the Thanata family who holds the Throne inherits the generational power The Martyr's Crown. It grants them the ability to force anyone who has purposefully harmed them to obey their command, even overriding other mind control abilities. It visibly manifests as a glowing red cracked crown on the user's head and semi-transparent black feathered wings on their back when activated. The first holder of the Martyr's Crown was Hades, and it's one of the oldest Vengeful powers.
-If the Heir to the Throne dies, other members of the Thanata family can inherit the throne, but they have to be of the Thanata bloodline (siblings, aunts & uncles. the Non-Thanata family members cannot inherit the throne.). The new ruler does not gain the ability to activate the Martyr's Crown power, but their first born child will inherit the power and be able to use it.
-The Keres family used to be Guards of the Underworld, but drifted away to other professions over time. They are still quite close to the Thanata family, and oftentimes when a Vengeful Keres dies, their spirit will guard the Thanata palace or watch over the spirits.
-Spirits, instead of fading based on who remembers them, simply fade after around 2 times the length of the lifespan of their species. Xekolus & Xealruqs fade after 1,6000 years, humans would fade after around 140 years. In most cases, spirits stay the age they died. The exceptions are young children (infants to 19 years old who will grow until they are 30) and elders ( 50+ year olds, who can age down to the minimum of 30 if they wish to.)
There are four major Mortal Realms; Caerevelm, Ajorlvelm, Xelrovelm, and Zeluvelm, listed from least mythical to closest to a Spirit Realm. No one remembers what the Realm prefixes translate to.
-Caerevelm has the least Mythical influence, mainly being a futuristic science-focused dystopia. Most major cities are nearly uninhabitable due to pollution and corruption, and residents mainly stay inside. The only supernatural entities are ghosts that barely even exist and are generally considered not real.
-Ajorvelm is a false-utopia. It's highly developed and better environmentally than Caerevelm, but the government has special science sites to experiment on the few supernatural entities that do show up, including Celeste, the time-warper.
-The most well-known experiment (to the Supernatural Entities, most humans are unaware) is the Chrone Experiments, which started with the first overseer employing Celeste Chrone, a time-warper capable of reversing or accelerating the time of an object or place, to try and save lives. The experiments were handed off to the new Overseer, name unknown for privacy reasons, who had more self-centered goals. Celeste ended up snapping, accelerating the time of any scientists who went near her until they died. Eventually the base was abandoned, and currently it is unrecognizable due to accumulated time-damage changing the corridors, rooms, and exits.
-Felrovelm rejects advancement further than functioning cities similar to modern day Earth, but less polluted. The power belongs to disguised supernatural entities and rich humans, though, so society is not ideal. Some humans are capable of using magic here, but they are feared and chased out. Most Mortal residents live in fear, since it's also the home of the Incarnation of Hate, making it an immensely dangerous Realm at night.
-Zeluvelm has many supernatural entities, including the "Seasonal demigods" (Anthos, Spring, Seirios, Summer, Aster, Autumn, and Krúos, Winter.) Zeluvelm is home to many fae-like entities, and is made up of villages and kingdoms. Phobos lives here due to the mortals' fear of the Mythical (which also causes them to worship them in a desperate attempt for mercy) as well as the harsh seasons. If a human is capable of using magic, they are seen as a prophet or divine entity, both loved and feared.
-The 'seasonal demigods' are fae-like entities that mainly show up during their season. Their main priority is food, but humans have mistaken them as brings of or incarnations of the Seasons.
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The new October Birds chapter is lovely (and you are too for writing such a gorgeous fic)!
Any behind the scenes information you want to share about it? Sentences that didn't make it in or oscar POV moments that can't get told from the fic's POV?
- Snippet Anon
(october birds)
oh my goodness thank you so much darling! Chapter two was one that I initially felt very little confidence in (I think I sent it to like, three people to see if the vibe matched the first one even remotely), so the response it's garnered has absolutely floored me. I literally cannot say thank you enough 😭💖
There were fewer things that stumped me in ch2 than in ch1, thank fuck lol. But there's one scene that I really did struggle with, and one key Oscar moment I haven't seen anyone comment on yet!
New Years
Ok so when I was originally picturing the new years scene, I wanted it to be with small fireworks on the beach. Then I rubbed my two (2) braincells together and realized that A) Perth is literally not near the beach at all for the sake of a midnight trip B) fireworks are super illegal in Tas. So that was very fun for me.
That then posed a big question of 'where the fuck are they meant to go?'.
At first I considered seeing if they could reasonably find a viewpoint of the Launceston or Hobart fireworks shows, since those are close enough to be feasible. But then I was like 'fuck, Lando had the anxiety moment about not going into the city, idk if there's really a place that would be isolated enough AND in view of the fireworks'.
After spending a lot of time on google maps, I found a viewpoint that was quite lovely: Max's Lookout in Nunamara, Tasmania. It's about a 40 minute drive away, and I could embellish the details to sell The Fantasy that I was picturing -- delightful!
In terms of the actual Event, the parts that I rewrote the most were the details around Oscar offering Lando his hand. It was difficult to both keep the "swept up in the moment" feeling and emphasize the tentativeness, the hesitation. I struggled a lot with figuring out how Lando would feel in that moment, especially because he'd technically already touched Oscar's hand before in Feast -- was this different enough for him to be affected? Was it similar enough to feel familiar? Was it scary, exciting, unremarkable?
Oh, and I had to google how to open a beer bottle with another bottle + your heel; I knew it was possible, I've just never had beer before lol.
Oscar and Lando's "Panic Attack"
Oscar's eyes flick overhead, taking in the fiery orange blossoms hanging from above. His under-eyes are more hollow than usual, the blue tint almost leaning purple in the early-morning light.
Oscar heard Lando in the kitchen.
In a different version of the scene, I actually had Oscar come out and try to help Lando, but then I realized it was far too early. Chapter 2 Lando is only beginning to peak out of his shell -- any intense display of emotion embarrasses him, he tries to talk himself out of them and pretend "it's fine" or that it's something he'll make himself "get over". Having Oscar come in at that point would have been mortifying for Lando, and waaaaaay more vulnerable than he's willing to be.
Of course I could decide that as the writer, but what was Oscar thinking about?
I have a really strong image of Oscar waking up to the sound of Lando's door closing, or maybe him falling against the oven door more forcefully than he thought (Lando's not the most reliable narrator at that point. And as Oscar jumps to go see what's happened, he hears it -- Lando's sobbing, his panic.
His hand would hover over the door handle.
At this point, based on what Oscar knows, Lando's clinically standoffish. He's clearly upset, but he doesn't want to say why -- even though he didn't deny his assertion that he wants someone to ask.
But would going and asking now be too much too soon? Too little too late? If he makes the wrong decision now, is he going to lose whatever opening Lando's worked open thus far?
He chooses not to go because he doesn't want to risk over stepping, but he can't sleep once he's heard it; Oscar gets as little sleep that night as Lando, and that's why he was awake so early. He heard him leave for his run.
There were a few specific things I cut from this chapter that I miiiiiight repurpose later, so I'll keep those to myself, just in case :)
#thank you so so so so so so much for asking me angel <3333333#I have so many thoughts about this version of lando and oscar they mean so much to me lol#and. so much of what oscar says is just lowkey from my own life. oopsies.#ask me :)#october birds
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rsr is 4.7k words...
really hard to give you all sneak peaks BUT! here's a handful of snippets
“So, you do know Peter.” The voice was startling, echoing, mechanical. Masking their face and their tone, it was distorted with electrical tuning, the person now opting to throw the block at the fridge. Ducking and slamming the door, you, knee bumping the wood paneling, jumped onto the counter to tackle them, instead, flinging into the counter where they were. It was a chase across Peter’s poor apartment floor as you scrambled after them.
Sheik!
Both talons from your arm pieces shot out as you stabbed toward them, knuckles punching into the floor, the blades shooting through the flooring into the tenant below. The intruder leaped for the table to make their way back to the window, but you caught their foot, using your momentum to slam their entire body into the island. Moaning out in pain, wind knocked from their lungs, the being heaved before snapping back to you, snarling. It was their turn to lash out.
--
Ripping out the MTU, inhaling sharply, you gulped back another wad of anxiety and put it on, pressing the red button and opening up the larger menu. Okay, this would be simple. Just like the other times, only now, you had to figure this out—like really, really figure this out. And of course, why not use the preset? That had to be it—that had to be the correct decision because who else would add that preset if not the initial creator, Miguel—other Miguel, not your Miguel, of course, how silly would that be—and therefore, you could get answers. Right? If you just went… into his dimension…? Where he would be? After he chased you down? And clearly had the means and probable reason to possibly keep you there against your will? Technically, you did steal something from him, and judging how he treated that Green Goblin, he… wouldn’t be took kind to you, would he?
But it didn’t matter, you had to find out.
…Right?
--
i literally cannot give u anything bc there sos much lore in this chapter
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Yea tell us
yyyYIPPPEEEEEE!!!!! okay so i decided. scrap (MOST OF) the context i am just gonna talk about the idea regarding Kenix and Yaku that has been rotting my brain
The important context - At the end of the story of the first arc, aka Yaku's chapter and the final chapter for the first arc, it is revealed that everyone - including the two gods, the entire crew working at the company in Ortu Lunae and the Seven Deadly Sins crew is fated to die as the first universe is being reduced to nothing by the Ommigod, Aileth. They decide the fate of everything as they exist as a concept in outer space, and no one else can change what they have written to be as fate if it is not them who is making the changes. The only survivors destined by fate were exactly Yaku and Kenix. But Yaku has denied the idea of his loved ones dying to the end of the first universe, so he has cursed himself and willingly put himself in a timeloop until he can find a way to save them (Little did he know that now Kenix is also fucking stuck in this timeloop and they are the only ones aware technically). ANYWAYS YEA YAKU'S PI (PI = Peak Insanity, the chapter where the character goes through it. and it is the peak of that. They Are Cursed and are manifesting physical forms of their curses) CHAPTER REVOLVES AROUND HIM ATTEMPTING TO GO BACK TO THE START OF THE LOOP AGAIN AFTER HE HAS FAILED AND KENIX IS TRYING TO STOP THIS GUY BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN MORE THAN 13,000 YEARS AND IT IS NOT WORKING AT ALL. (if you wanna know more about that chapter them let me know!!!! i'll gladly rant about them. ALSO QUICK NOTE, KENIX'S AND KEN'S PI CHAPTER TAKES PLACE BEFORE YAKU'S, WHICH MEANS BY THE TIME THAT THE EVENTS OF YAKU'S CHAPTER HAPPEN, THE CURSE THAT BINDED KENIX TO THIS EVIL NATURE AND WHAT KEPT KEN FROM EXISTING AS A PHYSICAL BEING AND NOT AS A CONCEPT IS BROKEN THEREFORE THEY ARE FREE)
Yea I thought about this one idea for Yaku’s PI chapter a bit more and The partially-cursed form Yaku and Kenix fight where right before the full form of the curse manifests, Yaku wants to hear that Kenix is proud of everything Yaku was able to achieve through his determination despite being so weak at the start, holding onto the last bits of sanity before he fully gets taken over by the curse and he won't be exactly conscious. And additionally,
In the full cursed form battle, Kenix is very obviously not using his full potential when fighting Yaku. He wishes to hurt him as little as possible because he cannot bring himself to kill the last person that knew him on a personal level and was still standing. As well as wanting to let Yaku live and move on eventually so he could continue his journey with Kenix at his side. He still has some sort of hope that he can bring him back to his senses with less damage done to him Meanwhile Yaku is going all out. He is now not aware of his surroundings at all, he just wants to kill Kenix of this timeloop so he could do it all over again. He knows that Kenix will be back anyway if he restarts the loop once again, so he is only just an obstacle to Yaku's another attempt of saving others in this timeloop.
they also. both mirror and parallel each other so hard in the story.
Kenix and Yaku are especially dear to me due to their own parallels and mirrors in the story Kenix has always been about acceptance. The acceptance of his miserable fate, in the end thinking that giving in to his curse and meeting his demise would be the best option of all, while Yaku has always been about denial. He denied everything awful happening to him and he strived forward to change it for the better Which both of the qualities are shown in different lights in their perspective PI chapters - in Kenix's PI chapter, Kenix's acceptance of this destructive fate is what is bound to destroy him through his curse manifesting as the final stage and Yaku's denial that denied the idea of Kenix going out like this eventually saved him from his curse and finally freed him from these hundreds upon hundreds of years of anguish. Though in Yaku's PI chapter, it is shown that Yaku's denial and determination for better things are the reason they are stuck in this loop of misery. He had denied the idea of everyone else dying so he made his duty to give them back their lives when it was, in fact, impossible to complete as a task from the start. Kenix's acceptance is trying to help Yaku be able to move on from this duty of his so he could march down his path further and come to terms with the deaths of his loved ones instead of reversing the deaths in the worst ways possible.
they parallel each other so hard. the depiction of Yaku who is deserving of praise for his determination and the wish to keep everyone safe and happy and the depiction of akenix as someone who accepts awful things far too easily and is not resisting all the terrific incidents, having evil intentions for others Going from that to now Yaku being depicted as the one who brought the misery upon others through that denial alone, while Kenix is depicted as someone who has been able to come to terms with the fact that his loved ones will meet their demise, attempting to let himself grieve. Yaku starting to parallel Kenix’s selfish plans and insane actions while Kenix starts to parallel Yaku’s heroism and the hope that he can save one last person he knows. While also mirroring each other during the start and the end of the First Story Arc. (Yaku's hopeful and determined attitude mirroring Kenix's insane, hopeless and "It cannot be helped" mentality and sticking to his selfish plans at the start of the story, and then the same but in reverse for the end of the story where Kenix is hoping to bring back his nephew and essentially the last person alive that knew him on a personal level, while Yaku is following those same selfish desires and going just as insane.
#i am not okay about them in any way i hold them very dear to my heart.#anyways YEA. WE HAVE MISSED A LOT OF THE MIDDLE PART BUT YAKU IS DEFINITELY NOT AWARE OF HEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS.#i wish to talk about them again because there is. so much to them and their story#they might be my best written characters. amor and apollo taking second place.#yomo ocs?!#yomoposting
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Peak behind the fic writing curtains time because I’m re-reading my notes for As Above and thinking about it lol.
So fun fact about the tapes! I wrote a draft for Wilbur’s tapes before I properly finished outlining Tommy’s perspective. I was kinda struggling to piece together Tommy’s story and I needed Wilbur’s outlined first and well… What this means is that I wrote the tapes in order of events, not in the “random” order Tommy found them.
I thought it’d be fun to share that order with y’all, plus it offers a bit of a new perspective on the events of As Above. I put it under the cut because it does contain spoilers for As Above So Below, just in case :)
Also for extra funsies, idk if it’s possible but since there is an order you might be able to figure it out on your own. So if your ARG brain is tingling then feel free to have fun with this, the answers are below. Just note some early tapes got skipped because they were just Wilbur reading notes to the open air which isn’t fun to read or write.
Without further ado this is the order I wrote Wilbur’s story in (along with brief summaries of each tape cos fuck! even I forget what I wrote sometimes lol)
1a - technical difficulties.
Wilbur’s introduction, both to himself his work and everything wrong with Lostfield
1b - unnamed interview 2.0
Wilbur’s interview with an unnamed resident at Lostfield, who we know is Ranboo! Wilbur learns very little information here, just makes Ranboo freak out!
2b- another unhelpful anecdote
Wilbur’s rather unhelpful interview with Technoblade, where he receives a nice long list of missing persons who just happened to show up on Lostfield.
3b - possible progress
(fun fact I nearly called this one research and crimes… probably should have tbh, it’s funnier) Wilbur gives an update on some of his personal findings about Techno’s research, and explains his plans to sneak into Lostfield and speak to the owner himself.
4a - interview with the owner
Wilbur does a little house tour and speaks to the owner of Lostfield AKA Dream. Their interview gets weird quickly and Wilbur feels like he’s panicking / losing control of himself.
4b - untitled (ch10)
Wilbur starts recording because he’s just woken up from his visit to Lostfield and he barely remembers what happened.
5a - if I don’t make it
Wilbur decides he needs to go back to Lostfield, he records a note for himself — or whoever finds the tape — incase he doesn’t make it back this time.
7a - courtesy of Lostfield apartments
Tapes that Wilbur is later given (mentioned in 6b goodbye) that detail his experience in Lostfield. The first tape is Wilbur talking to a voice that we cannot “hear”
7b - untitled (first half of ch12)
Dream’s mock-interview with Ranboo for Wilbur. Basically a repeat of 1b unnamed interview 2.0 but Ranboo actually gives answers this time.
5b - don’t go back
Wilbur, or something pretending to be Wilbur, starts recording the follow up for 5a before letting the real Wilbur wake up and have a full blown panic attack
6a - the last 3 days
Wilbur summarises what little he remembers from the 3 days he spent in Lostfield, mostly a recap of how he broke into Lostfield.
6b - goodbye
Wilbur recives a package containing a tape (7a and 7b) and he comes to the conclusion he’s in too deep and can’t escape. He uses this tape to say his final goodbyes
8a - untitled (second half of ch12)
Wilbur breaks into Lostfield with the tape recorder in hand. He gives some live insight as to what is down there before he spots something in the middle of the room and Dream appears.
#if you have funsies and try to ARG it let me know I’m curious to know how you guys go!!#dsmp fanfic#dsmp#wilbur soot#tommyinnit
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Tigerlily— do you have any favorite quotes from any movies, tv shows, books, or poetry? (or from people in real life)
Plumeria— are you currently working on any creative projects? if so, what kinds?
Sunflower— in your opinion, what is the best photo on your phone of? (serious or non-serious answers)
😁😊
Tigerlily - At this rate I’d hand to you my very underlined copy of ‘Orthodoxy’ by G.K. Chesterton, and the final answer to an interview I hosted for my honours thesis last year, but cannot post or show anywhere for ethical/legal reasons.
Plumeria - Technically something or other is always brewing in the back of my mind, but taking a step back from them overall has been a solid break, and just what I needed.
If you’re wondering about the brewing bits, they’re an old fic I’ve *REALLY* really wanted to finish since I was 15 and am close to, but got too burned out at the end of 2022 after my bachelors. I wanna pick it up again, but it’s kind of hard.
The second is the show idea I worked on for my honours with the pilot script and pitch bible’s first version done, but I’ve recently had thoughts about possibly moving the location of said show from New York to Melbourne. I kind of see the appeal, but the first season establishing New York as their location means. A lot of things. Especially for their starting year.
Sunflower - 2017 me will always be so right for making this peak image of herself. I still want that Fili’s hammer prop.
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Unlocking New Design Possibilities with Custom Football Uniforms
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2023-05-25
Finally tried jhana meditation and it’s all it’s cracked up to be. Initially decided to investigate based on recommendation from [C.Q.AGE.], found general information online. Of interest, a practitioner in thailand, who goes by [RDCT] and makes some interesting claims.
This is a report of two separate sessions, [S.20230524] and [S.20230525].
SESSION 1 -
Time: 2023-05-24 1205h
After the point in entry level meditation where the breath becomes very shallow and infrequent, I shifted my attention to a pleasant sensation in my hands, as per traditional first-time instructions. I payed attention to the pleasant quality of the pleasant sensation. After long conversations with [C.Q.AGE] and [C.Q.NC] it has become clear to me that qualia, or the specific individual qualities of qualitative conscious experiences, is the vast depth that must be plumbed if a world free from suffering is to be created. The claim that specific subjective conscious states have objective mathematical descriptions carries the implication that with the right technique a mathematical description of a conscious state may someday be imported to an experiential consciousness.
Leaving aside for now the “mathematical description” portion, one can easily see why jhana practice is spoken of by Gautama Buddha as a necessary companion to insight meditation, or vipassanabhavana. Jhana practice produces extraordinary states of consciousness in a predictable and linear way, and does so without the confounding variables of psychoactive substances or group settings. It is by studying, or meditating on the experiences produced by these states that one gains insight into the nature of reality and consciousness. This insight is what will eventually allow the creation of the aforementioned mathematical descriptions of conscious states.
But enough discussion of the future, let us return to the session at hand:
In this session the sensation of piti was clearly experienced and was present in fluctuating intensity, but did not seem to reach a critical point or point of total saturation with piti. Because of this, I cannot claim to have experienced in full the 1st jhana, but I have seen enough to know that the 1st jhana can be achieved, which leads me to suspect the other jhanas may likewise be achievable for me. This possibility excites me.
As Ram Dass would say, “You don’t worship the gate, you go into the inner temple.”
“Ah, so. Ah, so.”
[technical notes and session description elsewhere]
SESSION 2 -
Time: 2023-05-25 2130h
Session 2 was performed at my place of work, quite late into the evening. I found an empty conference room and set a timer for 26 minutes. I was able to sense the nested toroidal structure of energy around my body, but again found that the degree to which i was able to experience that sensation, whatever it was [the experience being described here took quite some time to articulate in the author’s handwritten notes, but essentially what is being described is a visual synesthetic representation of a tactile experience of some high-charge electromagnetic field permeating the body, similar to static electricity but produced bio-electrically] fluctuated throughout the session but did not reach a peak or total saturation point. I’ve attempted a few drawings of the visual stimuli but will need repeat sessions to correctly draw it.
Again, the sensation of piti came and went in waves, but the waves had higher peaks, and it did feel at many points as though a critical point or point of saturation was just over the horizon. Even so, the sensation of piti was quite intense and present for much of the meditation period. The experience was intensely positive, high valence, and medium arousal. OF NOTE, upon returning to normal consciousness I found my body moving fluidly and feeling painless, energized, and limber, even though prior to the session I had been on my feet working in a high-stress environment for quite some time.
[technical notes and session description elsewhere]
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#HARPERSMOVIECOLLECTION
2023
I re-watched Lost Highway (1997)
This is the hardest movie I've had to talk about since there is just so much to get into and it's impossible to do that here. So I'm sorry if this is jumbled and poorly written. In 10 years I'll rewrite this and disagree with everything I've said here. Lol
A musician murders his wife and after being sentenced to death transforms into a young man who gets caught between a woman and a Mob Boss.
Lost Highway is about a man's feelings of sexual inadequacy and the lies he tells himself. At least for the most part.
Bill Pullman's character of Fred, at one point says he doesn't like video cameras because "I like to remember things my own way....not necessarily the way they happened." For Fred, this escapism is a need. It is a coping mechanism that will lead him to do horrible things and change the very fabric of who he is. Fred's need to escape and "remember things his own way" leads him to unknowingly kill his wife and even physically transform himself into someone else.
Robert Blake's pale faced spectre is what Fred is trying to escape. The spectre is Fred's sense of reality. Through videotapes the spectre shows Fred how "Things really happened". The Spectre shows Fred that he is a murderer who has killed his own wife. He knows Fred even after Fred transforms and becomes another person because, try as Fred might, reality is inescapable.
The person Fred Becomes is Balthazar Getty's character Pete. He's young and self confident. He's a new start for Fred, but Patricia Arquette as both characters Renee and Alice is another part of life that Fred cannot escape. At first Fred kills Renee and after he's charged for her murder he becomes Pete, but Pete can't help but fall for Renee's doppelganger, Alice, leading him back to being Fred, who then goes on to make a full circle bringing us back to the beginning of the film.
It's all very complicated and confusing on the surface. Dig a little deeper and it's still complicated and confusing, but it begins to take shape. This is what David Lynch is best at. He makes films that seem like nonsense to many, but in reality are full of meaning and feel no obligation to work within the parameters of logic outside the film's universe.
Im sure I'm right about a decent amount of this and wrong about a decent amount too. Lost Highway is, like many of Lynch's films, full of dream logic and is anything but spoon fed to the audience. It changes in narrative and yet remains the same throughout. It's a puzzle, but one I enjoy trying to solve piece by piece.
It's been said that Lost Highway takes place in the same universe as Lynch's Twin Peaks series, which is totally possible if not 100% true. The style, music, character interactions.....it's all very "Twin Peaks" in tone. And, like Twin Peaks, there is so much to challenge yourself with.
What I really love about this movie, technically, is the use of Darkness and the use of hollow, drafty sound. Two things Lynch uses often and well, but here they seem incredibly noticeable. It adds to the dreaminess and to the feeling of everything happening in the void of this world. It also helps the sound and music have a bigger impact.
Lost Highway is a noir horror through the mind of David Lynch and, despite it's difficulty, it's absolutely mesmerizing in many moments.
There are gorgeous shots in this film, a solid cast, puzzles to be solved, and a lot more.
Is it the best Lynch film out there? No. But it's one that every person wanting to understand David Lynch as a filmmaker should watch. If you don't like it, you won't like his other work.
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First bit: TOTALLY Agreed. I've seen some people talk about the fact that Kaiser should score a goal right now, but that would not be development. That would just send him back into the cycle he's been perpetuating for years now. I think course of action has to go realisation -> processing -> development for it to work.
Exactly like you said, the way it's going for Nagi and Rin, who are both in the "processing" stage of it. Arguably the lowest state, because at this point they know what the problem is but are having a hard time fighting the internal struggle.
On a plot scale, it makes sense that Kaiser is the "final main rival", so to speak, because he's Isagi's only rival on a global stage. Nagi should probably go through his development now in the FC Barcha match, and Rin should ideally sort his shit out this match for things to even out. This allows the perfect segue into the U20, wherein they're going to have to work as a team again. (I have SO MANY THOUGHTS about the possibility that Sae might be on the Japan U20 Team. SO MUCH. But I shall refrain. Really makes you think about the possibility of a connect between Kaiser and Sae-)
For Kaiser's development to hit rock bottom now MAKES SENSE. It allows for him to "destroy" an old, self destructive mindset and make room for a more progressive one to be a better rival for Isagi.
I'M SO GLAD YOU BROUGHT UP BAROU. The parallels are there. But Barou's problems were entirely egoistical, while Kaiser's are far more deep rooted into his life. It's a very very different scale, and so it cannot be resolved as quickly as Barou's was.
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I absolutely LOVE your interpretation of the fact that Kaiser wanted to live, and that was how his love for football was born, but he misunderstands the root of that fire to be the fact that it was destructive, rather than a moment of birth.
His entire shtick is that he genuinely does not understand a world where "good" qualities like happiness, kindness, generosity etc can coexist with the desire to be loved. Because he was brought up in the exact opposite manner. This is not to say he is ignoring it, or that he won't understand it-- he's incredibly smart, and more than has the capacity to. I think it's more of a psychological block than he himself realises.
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I've thought about this and posted about this before too, but oh my god, the fact that Kaiser is a foil to Isagi in the most unexpected way is truly insane.
Nagi acts as Isagi's foil in the fact that, he's always been naturally talented from the first time he kicked a ball, whereas Isagi has had to work for every touch of the ball and every goal. Now, when Isagi is at his peak performance because of all the work he's learned to keep putting in, Nagi's at a rougher spot because he's finally reached a threshold that he cannot cruise by.
Rin acts as Isagi's foil in the fact that, he never played football because he wanted to win, or because he liked the game. To him, it has always revolved around someone else, labels someone else placed on him. Isagi has always, ALWAYS, played football for himself. Their playstyles are so similar-- and for what? Rin's playstyle isn't even his own, it used to be a copy of Sae's. It's only more recently that he's learned to play as Itoshi Rin, not Itoshi Sae. And even then he's in a rough spot rn. But arguably doing the best of all of the rivals.
Before these backstories dropped, I thought Kaiser would be Isagi's foil in the fact that, Kaiser uses his metavision to fuel all the energy on the field towards himself. Make it so that he's the focus, the only beacon of light on the field so that everyone else is cast in shadow. Isagi uses his to make use of every single person on field, play off of them, and then interpret all of that to make his own plays the best possible option, and the most efficient to make it a goal for HIMSELF. Wherein Kaiser casts everyone into shadow, Isagi brings everyone into the light so he can shine brighter.
AND TECHNICALLY IT IS. BUT IT'S SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT.
Because Kaiser is now ALSO Isagi's foil in how they were brought up. THEIR PLAYSTYLES MIRROR THEIR UPBRINGING. Isagi was loved. So he makes use of the inner confidence it's given him to boost himself up. Kaiser was never loved, so he craves "love". But he thinks there's not enough of it for everyone. The next best option is to make it so that it's only possible to look at him (love him? worship him?) and nobody else.
What happens when he's not worth looking at (loving)?
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ABOUT KAINESS. Honestly?? Not so hot take but they're both unreliable narrators. Kaiser omits the sweet memories altogether, and Ness glorifies them. I don't trust EITHER of their interpretations of the memories. I think there's a middle ground there, where what they had was real, but in a twisted way because it served both of their twisted motivations. It's a hard life, for traumatised teenagers.
(Also, lots of hugs for you to share that personal experience to explain your take on a character. You're doing awesome, OP, all the virtual love I can give you!!) -----
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SUCH A PHENOMENAL POST. You stated everything I was thinking about perfectly. Hope you have a lovely day!!
On Kaiser’s Trauma
I’ve thought it over, and I think there’s really no way for Kaiser to awaken this match. Be it scoring a goal or getting one over Isagi, he is not winning. I don’t see it at all.
I’ve reviewed the previous character development arcs, and one thing Kaneshiro has been staunch about is that internal development comes first before external development:
Chigiri - Chigiri had to get over his fear of losing his old self by putting his leg at risk again before the narrative rewarded him with a goal.
Bachira - Bachira had to overcome his fear of being alone before being rewarded with, not a goal, but with a friend who met him where he was.
Barou - Barou had to experience his arrogance being crushed and overcome the subsequent resignation he felt before he could reclaim his role as “main character.”
Hiori - Hiori had to first come at peace with giving up soccer entirely—something he had been hesitant to do, even when it hurt him, because he didn’t know what else to do—before discovering what soccer really means to him.
Yukimiya - Yukimiya found salvation when Isagi saw him as he was desperately fighting for a chance while he could still see.
It’s a bit different for Isagi’s main rivals, though:
Nagi - Nagi got motivated to put in an effort because of Isagi -> Got stronger during Second Selection -> Went back to old habits just to beat Isagi once -> Regressing in the rest of the NEL arc
Rin - Rin had to stop seeking answers outside of himself -> Unleashed his true ego during the U20 match -> Subconsciously sought affirmation from Sae at the end of the match -> Felt rejected by Sae -> ??? (The current match against PxG is ongoing, so I don’t know how he is right now)
Nagi’s and Rin’s development arcs are not linear, and currently both are in the lower curves of their arcs. This is because they haven’t fully solved their internal problems. Until Nagi finds a reason to push himself outside of beating Isagi and until Rin gets over his brother issues, they can never fully grow.
Likewise, Kaiser, who is undoubtedly also a main rival, has to first fucking get therapy process his childhood trauma before he can truly awaken.
But trauma is not easy to overcome. In fact, you don’t even really “heal.” Kaiser “getting over it” in just one match is impossible. As such, I don’t see him winning. At least not now.
Isagi throwing Kaiser’s words back at him by calling him a “clown” has gotten some people to think that Kaiser’s awakening is imminent. After all, a similar thing had happened to Barou before when Isagi called him “donkey.”
But Kaiser is not Barou. Both may be arrogant, but one of them didn’t grow up under domestic violence. And as I’ve said before, internal development comes first. Barou’s internal problems, compared to Kaiser’s, are much easier to resolve.
And unlike Barou’s, Kaiser’s problems are not confined within soccer. They seep into his every being and in all aspects of his life, as we can see in how he treats himself and others off the field.
To begin, let’s talk about what Kaiser thinks of himself:
Alternatively, Hoshi’s translation of Kaiser’s monologue goes like this:
These guys are “humans.” Different from me, they were born wanted “humans.”
Having been abandoned by his mother and growing up abused by his father, Kaiser’s sense of worth is so low that he thinks he was born without it—which is wrong. Everybody is born deserving to live.
But Kaiser thinks otherwise. He sees himself as not even human because nobody wanted him alive. Still, he has this strong desire to live—a desire that had first made itself known to him at this moment:
Right before this, he had looked so dead inside:
He didn’t flinch when the cops came to arrest him. He didn’t try to fight for the escape money he had stashed away. He was so passive and tired and helpless that he might as well be truly dead.
But at that moment his father was about to destroy his soccer ball? A fire lit up inside him. A fire so bright and strong that he got to beat seven cops while handcuffed.
That fire was the love he had for soccer. All his life he’d been in a passive position, but when he fought for what he love, the reins of his life got transferred into his hands.
And in that moment, Michael Kaiser, for once, was truly alive.
Now, he’s living his life in constant search of that fire—or “proof of his existence,” as he puts it.
However, Kaiser has misunderstood what that fire is. After all, how can he recognize love when he’s never been loved?
Only pain and violence are familiar. Thus, it is honestly no surprise when he misattributes “proof of existence” to “inflicting malice on others, living on inside them as a scar.”
For Kaiser to grow, he has to redefine “proof of existence.” How can his own existence depend on the number of people he defeats? That’s unhealthy. And as with Rin’s problem, it’s just seeking answers outside of himself.
But for Kaiser to even begin redefining it, he must first learn to recognize love for what it is.
Love was the fire that was lit inside him. He must go back to it. (Like how Bachira awakened by going back to how he used to play as a child.)
Love is also the main thing that sets Isagi apart from him—the former having been raised by loving parents and having companions sincere to him—so it’s crucial that he learns this if he wants to defeat Isagi.
How can he do this? With the way he was raised, I don’t think Kaiser can learn love on his own. He has to learn it from others. But before that, he must see himself as “human.” While he still views himself as “non-human,” Kaiser won’t be able to connect deeply with “humans” and welcome any love from them.
And this is the crux of his problem...
Kaiser has made attempts to be more “human,” but...
... he’s going about it so horribly wrong 😭😭😭
@galaxynajma also sent this question:
What do you think is the new reason for why kaiser does this every morning: His morning routine consists of: standing before the mirror naked, gazing at himself while having a conversation (to himself), getting into the mindset that nothing is impossible, and then smiling while thinking ‘this is me’. (Trivia from Blue Lock wiki)
“This is me” is Kaiser reaffirming to himself that he is becoming more “human” when he sets out to achieve the “impossible.”
How to be Human 101
Okay, fuck, to be completely honest, I have no idea! I didn’t expect to get this psychological while I was writing 🫠
I had… written myself into a corner. But anyways, I’m gonna try seeing this through...
So, I’m no psychologist, but… I relate on a deeply personal level with Kaiser’s “human vs non-human.” But in my case, I had used the words “normal vs not normal.”
(This is gonna get a little bit personal, but bear with me!)
This distinction was something I strongly felt during my peak depression years. I felt like nobody truly understood me because they hadn’t been through what I had been through. Whatever the doctors said just went from one ear to another because I couldn’t trust them. In my head, had categorized them as one of the “normal” people—their lives were so put-together and they were so in control and on top of things! Not like me, who was drowning.
I also slowly distanced myself from friends because they, too, were the “normal” ones.
One friend, however, stuck around. She didn’t mind me going missing for months without a word. And whenever I showed up again from who knows where, she would always excitedly welcome me back as if I never even left. And this was the friend who I thought to be always better than me in every way because she was prettier, smarter, and had a better financial status. So I never really expected her to get me.
But oh, she did. I found out that she wasn’t “normal,” too. She too had her own problems, and we got to share our sorrow with each other...
So, I guess what I’m trying to say here is that...
It’s not really a matter of erasing the distinction between “human” and “non-human.” It’s enough, for now, that Kaiser finds another “non-human” like him, and with whom he will slowly start to feel “human”—worthy of living and being loved.
I know Kaneshiro isn’t fond of therapy talk, but for Kaiser, I think it’s a must that he gets to open up to someone. He doesn’t have to share the full story. He just has to be sincere about it.
And who is the closest “non-human” that we have around Kaiser who’s also unwanted by his family?
Ness.
This doesn’t even have to be about shipping. And I know their relationship is looking pretty grim right now because of how Kaiser has been treating Ness since the beginning, but...
...I still believe that this, at least, was real.
Together, they can learn what it is to be “human.”
In summary, for Kaiser to awaken, he must first resolve his internal problems. To do this, he must...
Find a fellow “non-human.”
See himself as “human.”
Recognize love for what it is.
Redefine his “proof of existence”
Thank you for coming to my TED talk, *bows
---
Okay, so I don’t normally do this at the end of my posts, but I just recently launched my Alpha Reading Service. If you liked my analysis above and would like me to review your story the same way, do check it out!
Or, if you don’t need any alpha reading, consider tipping me on Ko-fi instead. Thank you!
#OP this is actually amazing#Thank you so much for this#there have been so many thoughts circulating in my brain about this chapter#since it dropped tbh#and you laying it out like this gave me the chance to like#see it all articulated#and to add on my own thoughts to this#albeit your analysis is EXTENSIVE and well done#and i absolutely adore it#youre the best#good luck in your classes!!!#blue lock#lune thinks
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Beach Days with The Genshin Characters!
Wc: 1.7k+
Type: Headcanons
CW: umm nothing except mentions of alcohol and maybe people being creeps? (None of the chars or you tho it’s very brief)
A/N: HI IM BACK FROM THE DEAD! These were supposed to be a lot shorter but I got too excited. If you by any chance wanna see some for your fav character lmk! I know it says request are closed in my bio but since it’s just hcs it’s a lot less (and I really enjoyed writing these so ajdhdhdk)
🔥Diluc:
This man cannot swim. Tell me otherwise, I dare you.
Kaeya tried to jokingly push him off a lil diving cliff area when they were kids.
He almost drowned. Kaeya was in a lot of trouble.
So, good luck getting this man to actually get in the water. The most he’ll do is sit on the shore where it’s very shallow.
He usually prefers to just stay under an umbrella on the sand and keep an eye on you.
Calls you every two hours in advance and helps you reapply sunscreen.
He’s very pale so I feel like he burns pretty easily, meaning he needs to reapply super frequently otherwise he will become a tomato. He brings like three bottles of the good shit. Tch, rich boy.
If you ask him to build a sandcastle, he will pretend to be annoyed but do it anyways. Ends up finding it kind of enjoyable.
He has the maids prepare a nice picnic basket for the two of you!! It’s got all your favorite foods plus grape juice cuz y’know.
If any creepy peeps approach you, don’t worry. He brought his vision and his claymore.
Of course, he won’t have to resort to such violent lengths. Everyone in Mondstadt knows who Diluc is and they probably know you’re his s/o, so they’re usually smart enough to mind their own business.
If they don’t, don’t worry. Diluc’s glare is more than enough to scare them away.
All in all I definitely recommend a beach day with him! I’ll give it a solid 8/10 (-2 for not wearing floaties and getting in the water with you or letting you teach him how to swim.
🖌Albedo:
You guys definitely 100% take Klee out with you on a beach day.
You guys bring snacks, beach toys like buckets and shovels for optimal sandcastle building, a picnic blanket, etc.
Jean definitely packs a lot more stuff for you guys to take with you than you actually need.
It’s only cuz she’s worried for Klee and is nervous about not being able to go with you guys though! It’s very sweet really.
Klee tries to bomb the fish and cause havoc at the beach 😭
I think Albedo is a good swimmer and gets in with you and Klee so that he can help her (which is very cute omfg)
He’s set total workaholic, as we know, so it took a lot of convincing to get him to put down his experiments and accompany you to the beach (however, he’s particularly weak to yours and klee’s puppy dog eyes so he caved eventually)
Though, looking at you and Klee happily building sandcastles and decorating them with pretty seashells of all shapes and colors, he can’t really find it in himself to complain.
He, of course, takes this opportunity to take out his sketchbook and draw the waves, seagulls, you… Of course he won’t let you see the sketch book no sir. He’s a bit embarrassed to be honest, but an artist such as himself recognizes beauty when he sees it so he simply had to draw you. (God I love him so much)
If a creepy person approaches you,- well don’t worry. The sight of a small arsonist child blowing up fish is enough to scare them away 🥰
At the end of the day, all three of you are all ticketed out. Albedo has to carry Klee back to Mondstadt because the poor baby fell asleep the moment you started drying her hair with the beach towel. You’re, of course, carrying back Dodoco and your bags. (You also manage to sneak a peak at Albedo’s sketchbook and find some very pretty drawings of you and Klee with your sandcastle)
At the end of the day, you guys tuck Klee in and read her a bedtime story (she woke up and insisted). Afterwards Albedo takes you back home and thanks you for coming with you and Klee (which you ofc say wasn’t a problem because how could you not???)
All in all? I’ll give it a solid 10/10. You’ve got tasty food, fun times, your boyfriend and his cute kid adoptive sister (yes I am very biased idc)
🦋Xiao:
I think it would take a lot of convincing to get Xiao to go out on a beach date with you.
He’ll probably see it as a distraction getting in the way of his slaying of monsters and demons.
However, he also worships the grounds you walk on (hehe, simp XD), so I don’t think it’ll take that much convincing on your part (especially because it’s is self appointed duty to keep you safe so if you insist on going with or without him, he supposes he’ll have to go)
Is definitely a bit tense at first. He doesn’t know how to let loose and chill so while you’re sun tanning on a beach chair he’s like 🧍♂️ahdgshjsjd
Eventually calms down a bit though! You get him to relax and eat some almond tofu you brought along with you. It definitely gets him to perk up.
I don’t think he would mind getting into the water but I do think he’d rather walk along the shore and collect pretty seashells and sea glass.
He later gives the ones he deems pretties to you (he hands them over to you with a blush on his face and pretends it’s not a big deal and he definitely gets all pouty and grouchy when you coo at how adorable he is)
As for creeps, Xiao is both intimidating and well known in Liyue. No one is brave enough (or, let’s be honest, dumb enough) to approach you with any bad intentions.
Sure, Xiao has sworn never to harm a human/citizen of Liyue but that doesn’t mean he can’t scare the absolute shit out of them.
I think Xiao would definitely enjoy a beach day 🥺🥺. He’d find it very relaxing to go out with you and just hear the sound of waves and feel the sand under his feet.
He’d definitely hint at wanting to do it again later. Of course, he won’t tell you. No, that’s a foolish mortal activity and he has much better things to do.
Wait no, don't turn around, yes he will go with you next month.
All in all, I give Xiao a 9/10. It’s a very relaxing day (which he deserves 😤). And you get to see a whole new side of him.
💎Ningguang:
OK SO ORIGINALLY I WASN'T GONNA WRITE ONE FOR HER (at least not in this post) BUT THEN I THOUGHT OF LADY NINGGUANG TAKING YOU TO A WHOLE ASS PRIVATE BEACH
She knows you don’t care about how exclusive the beach you go to is (in fact, the fact that you don’t care about where you are or what you do is one of the things that make her fall more and more madly in love with you) but you deserve the best so she’s gonna go all out.
She’s a busy lady so days like this where the two of you get to go somewhere and be together are few and far between.
She knows it’s hard to be in a relationship with someone who is busy 24/7, so she appreciates how you remain by her side despite all hardships. (Y’all are a whole ass power couple istg)
The two of you spend your day relaxing. Sun bathing, drinking piña coladas, maybe taking a dip in the ocean. It’s all very pleasant!
Ningguang doesn’t quite feel like the type of person who would sit in the sand and make sandcastle, however you’re more than welcome to make some yourself. She finds it endearing <3
If you insist on her helping, she’ll eventually comply. She loves you too much to say no. I feel like she’ll either be terrible at it or like a total architect.
Sand is technically like tiny rocks right? So maybe she can use her vision to help her? If that’s the case, she’s making a replica of the Jade chamber out of sand.
If any creepy person comes up to you don’t worry. Ningguang will buy the whole beach and then use her right of admission as owner to permanently ban them from the beach you’re at.
The only downside to a day at the beach with Ningguang might be that there’s a big chance she’ll be called to tend urgent matters, seeing as she is the Tianquan of the Liyue Qixing and all.
If that does happen, she’ll be sure to make it up to you somehow, whether it be rescheduling or taking care of the matter as soon as possible so that the two of you can get back to your day of relaxation and fun.
All in all?? Lady Ningguang will treat you like total royalty and the two of you will have an amazing time! I give her an 11/10 (she would literally buy a whole beach for you to be comfortable I mean c’mon)
🍃Venti:
BEACH DAYS WITH HIM ARE SO FUN!!
Swimming? Yeah, he’d love to! Sunbathing? Sure! He’ll ever conjure up a light breeze for the two of you. Sandcastle building? WELL OF COURSE WHY DO YOU THING HE BROUGHT ALL THESE BUCKETS AND SHOVELS?
No but seriously, he might be the best person out of everyone here to go to the beach with. He’s fun, free spirited, and he’s a traveling bard who’s been alive long enough to know where all the best beaches in Teyvat are. (He also knows a guy- er, well, dragon I suppose- who is willing to fly them to any place).
He’ll play some soft tunes while you doze under the sun.
HE PICKS PRETTY SHELLS AND GIFTS THEM TO YOU!!!
He will bring booze. I’m pretty sure this is a necessity. If you’re a little upset about it, he’ll probably “eheh~” his way out of it. That slick bastard.
If you really insist on him not drinking, he won’t consume much alcohol.
If some creepy person approaches you and tries to ruin you your day of beach time fun, all of their stuff will suddenly be blown away, causing them to scramble back to their spot and (almost embarrassingly) flail around trying to catch everything. What a shame…
At the end of the day, he’d be a little sad to leave. Definitely makes plans about tbe two of you going back soon.
I gotta give him a 10/10 he’s just so fun omg.
#genshin impact fanfiction#genshin impact Diluc x reader#Diluc x reader#diluc#genshin impact albedo x reader#Albedo x reader#Albedo#genshin impact xiao x reader#xiao x reader#Xiao#genshin impact ningguang x reader#ningguang x reader#ninggaung#genshin impact venti x reader#Venti x reader#venti#flavor: diluc#flavor: albedo#flavor: xiao#flavor: ningguang#flavor: venti#patt’s creations
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Hey I’d love to commission you for a 6$ (5$ + 1$ for mental health cleaning bonus option) fic. DC universe, Tim and Jason (no slash, platonic) focus where they’re sitting on a rooftop joking around until Tim makes a flippant joke about his life Jason almost killing him at titans tower and Jason taking a breath and telling Tim that he’s important and he’s glad he’s alive.
Also posted here, on ao3, under the title "Optimally Sentimental"! This was such a delight to work on, thank you for commissioning me and for being flexible!
-
It’s been months since Tim flinched around him.
Jason hasn’t been consciously keeping track, because literally counting physical ticks and bits of Robinly body language is a fast track to Bruce levels of paranoid insanity, but-- yeah. It’s been a good few months since Tim flinched around him, or tensed up when he entered a room, or subconsciously moved to place his back to a wall when Jason walked into a conversation.
It’s also been a few weeks since Jason stopped going out of his way to walk louder, announce his presence by shouting at one brother or another, or otherwise be as obvious as he could. He doesn’t want Tim to be scared around him, yeah, but while Tim was, he was going to be as least of a dick about it as possible.
But it’s been a while, and Jason is proud to report they’ve both let their guard down. This past little bit has been the best it ever has been between them.
They’re even taking missions together. Of their own free will, not because Bruce told them to. And enjoying it.
Tim’s got that faint little flush to his cheeks that he gets when he’s been smiling too much, and he’s squinting his eyes the way he does when he laughs for real (and not the fake little Timothy Jackson heir laugh he perfected at so many galas), and he’s been snipping and sniping prissy little one shots Jason’s way without apologizing.
Peak Tim, in his natural element; a baby bird unafraid of getting shot down.
So when he does tense up, midway between a snark off on which soda brand is better-- “Zesti is the premier shit drink of choice, Jason, even Dick agrees,” which, whatever, if you’re basing an argument over Dick’s questionable tastes, you’ve already lost, and Soder Cola is the most American drink ever made, even Jason can admit that and he’s technically a terrorist-- Jason feels his entire chest go cold.
He thought they were past this.
“I can go.” He says, through suddenly numb lips. It’s cold but not that could, a cool sixty which is practically paradise for Gotham this time of year. It’s not even pissing down rain, though the sky is a gray brick of overcast.
The words float out between them, catching on the mist. The rooftop is damp from an earlier shower.
Tim’s not even looking at him. He’s fiddling around with his scope, hissing under his breath. Jason tries to figure out what he did-- a sweeping arm movement, a too sharp movement? He really hasn’t been watching himself around Tim like he should have been.
You don’t just forget that kind of trauma. God knows Jason hadn’t, when someone had beat the shit out of him in the dark, and he hadn’t even been shot or, fuck, had his throat slit by someone who was supposed to be a friend.
Jason starts to stand.
“What?” Tim looks up, a picture of confusion. “No, what are you being stupid about? The screw fell out of my new lens.” He curses under his breath, glove groping around the rubble of the rooftop. “I cannot believe I didn’t put it back together tightly enough last night.”
Jason’s mouth moves on instinct, the Robinly urge to rib his brother carrying through even when his thoughts are so tangled and confused.
“Did you rebuild that thing again?” He asks. “Damn, give it a few days to see how it functions, would you?”
“If I notice a problem, I’m not going to just wait and fill out a changelog of bugs, Jay.” Tim says absently, waving a hand without looking. His entire back is to Jason now. Jason, slowly and by degrees, relaxes. “Besides, it was an easy enough adjustment.”
Jay, not Jason. Rare enough that one of his brothers indulges in his preferred nickname. Jason himself hardly ever points out that he prefers it, so it’s not like he can blame them.
(Also in fairness, he’d once shot Bruce in the kneecap for pulling out ‘Jaylad’ in the middle of his Pit-induced madness.)
Jason gradually lowers himself back into his sitting position against the roof’s lip. They’re as comfortable as they can be on this kind of stakeout, the orange haze of poisoned daylight on the horizon indistinguishable from sunset. Soon, the ‘working day’ will be through, and they’ll be able to see what the Sionis family is actually doing. They’re supposed to be quiet and cowed with Black Mask back in Arkham, but you wouldn’t know it from the shipping activity on their side of the docks.
“Yeah, I can tell.” Jason scoffs. “You have a back-up kit?”
They all tended to carry replacement parts for their more fiddly gear. Tim, being the most Oracleish of their cohort-- and also the most tech-savvy-- had an entire soldering kit on him or Jason would eat his boot.
“Yes, of course.” Tim says, waspish. “But I don’t need it. I can find this screw.”
“This specific tiny screw.” Jason parrots, amused.
“Shut the fuck up.”
Yeah, okay.
Jason feels the tension fall completely out of his shoulders. Babyest bird is not feeling unsafe, right now; Tim doesn’t get this bitchy around people unless he trusts them.
Random civilians and corporate fuckwits, they get soft-spoken, laughing Timothy Drake. Anyone Tim’s not quite comfortable with-- people he has to impress, like the Justice League-- get the world’s most perfect and efficient Robin. Seriously, it’s terrifying. He wears his competency like a sword and doesn’t bother with a shield.
So, a snarky Tim-- a Tim who lashes out, without regard for if he’ll be hit back-- is a trusting Tim. A comfortable Tim.
“I’m just sayin.” Jason lets a grin surface on his face, in his voice. He wiggles his fingers. Then, actually being helpful: “Hey, maybe try a light?”
“Ugh. Good idea.” Tim flicks on a pen light with careless efficiency, apparently from part of his glove. What the hell.
The light catches on the moist pebbles and occasional shallow puddle, but it does its job; the glint from the tiny screw is enough to find it, and Tim swoops it up with a triumphant sound.
“Ridiculous.” Jason snorts.
Tim pulls a face.
“I don’t want to hear it from you, Mr. My Peripheral Vision Doesn’t Matter as Much As My Aesthetics. At least I can see.”
“The hood had an HUD!” Jason protests, knee-jerk. “I don’t even wear it that much anymore.”
He gestures to his own domino, as bright a red as the bat on his chest.
“Mm, yeah, you definitely didn’t keep wearing it to be petty for, oh, six months.” A snarky little grin, edging into smirk territory.
Jason looks forward to a year from now, where he can not only move openly around Tim, but also smack him playfully. They aren’t there yet-- not like how he can slug Dick in the shoulder as hard as he wants-- but Jason can see it on the horizon.
Instead, he snorts.
“Oh, I know you’re not calling me petty.” He points out, amused.
Tim’s face stops briefly on suspicion before going directly to offended.
“I’m not petty!” He denies. “I’ve never done anything petty in my entire life, ever.”
“That’s a lie,” Jason laughs. “I saw you put decaf coffee into Dick’s stash.”
“That’s for his health.” Tim claims, boldly. “I’m doing him a favor.”
“Yeah, and the fact that you ferried the actual caffeinated coffee you stole into your stash has nothing to do with it.”
“I’m not going to waste it, Jason!” Tim puts a hand to his chest in mock-offense. “If I replace it wholescale, he’d notice, so I switch out a cup at a time.”
“Right.” Jason grins. “And the little fucker who’s stolen all the “R” shaped keys off every keyboard I’ve bought for my safehouses?”
Tim flushed bright red.
“You can’t prove that was me.” He says, immediately, which in their line of work is basically a confession. Also; he knows better than to challenge another detective like that!
Jason starts counting on his fingers.
“Well, it wasn’t me. That’s one Robin out.” And he ignores the pang that claiming that name will always bring him.
“Damian could have done it. He’s a bitch like that.”
Jason tips his head back and laughed.
“You’re more of a bitch. You’ve made bitchiness into an art form.” And he threw Damian under the bus without hesitation, goddamn.
“Dick was a Robin. Just saying.” Tim points out. Yeah, like saying water is fucking wet. Dick wasn’t a Robin, he was the Robin. He was Robin, full stop.
Jason just stares.
“Dick is the only one of us who never stole Robin.” He points out. “And in fact stealing the suit seems to be a right of passage, at this point.”
It doesn’t occur to him that he’s wandering into the biggest trigger between them-- what had been Jason’s biggest trigger, as the furious Red Hood-- until he’s already said it. Fortunately, Tim goes in another direction-- passing the buck down the line, as it were.
“Damian didn’t steal shit.” He huffs, still sour. “Dick gave him that suit right from under me. At least I had to break in and take it.”
He looks up then, apparently sensing the same thing Jason had.
“Oh, uh. I’d say sorry about that, by the way, but you... weren’t using it at the time.” Tim’s face twisted. “Oh, god. No, not that. I’m going to stick with the actual answer that Bruce was going off the fucking deep end at the time and Dick wouldn’t do it.”
Jason just stares.
Tim groans and covers his face with his hands. Jason starts laughing.
“Shut up.” Tim says, but it sounds more like a complaint. Jason laughs harder.
“I can’t hear you, I’m putting the screw back in.” Tim very loudly-- with exaggerating arm gestures-- begins fixing his scope, pointed out the warehouse across from them.
“That doesn’t occupy your ears, Baby Bird.”
“I can’t hear you!” Tim repeats, louder. “I can’t multitask, everyone knows that. Hang on, I’m almost done.”
By the time he sits back, triumphant with his success now that Jason is no longer laughing at his expense, the foot traffic has mostly died down. He points the newly-repaired lens to the beginning of the street.
“I think we’ve got enough for facial recognition.” Tim murmurs, mind back on the business, watching their marks walk up the long, long road in front of the warehouse.
Smile, assholes, you’re on camera.
“Never a good thing when they have this many new contacts.” Jason agrees, eyes tracking the unfamiliar faces who have no business in this part of town.
He brings his own piece up-- yes, designed after the Hood’s perfectly respectable HUD, alright-- to track even more information. Vitals, infrared, even what kind of heat they’re packing.
“Here, look at this.” He offers the binoculars to Tim, who reaches out automatically. Just before they settle in his palm, Jason thinks better of it. He dangles them a foot above Tim’s reach-- not hard, since Tim is almost all the way on the ground looking through his scope, and pretty short anyway.
“Jason.” He complains, not looking away from his lens.
“Since, you know, I’m not using them.”
Tim blanches. Then flushes, hard. He brings a gauntlet up to cover his face again. Low, muffled, his voice sounds out:
“I’m never going to live this down. You should have killed me at Titan Tower.”
It’s like cold water over Jason’s entire body. The arm holding the binoculars falls limp at his side.
“Fuck that.” Jason snarls, and he shouldn’t-- he can’t-- be this angry around Tim, but the smaller Robin doesn’t flinch or even rear back. He just blinks in surprise. Fuck.
“Jason.” Tim says, humor falling all the way away, but Jason-- can’t. He takes a deep breath and turns away.
“Don’t say that kind of shit.” He finally manages, wrestling with the full body horror and memory of Tim’s bones breaking, the glee he felt. Sick, vicious glee.
“Jason. I know that.” Stilted, but not afraid. This, too, is an honest Tim-- the Tim that doesn’t have the right words to say, but doesn’t pause to find perfect ones, afraid of messing up. A trusting Tim.
Jason takes another deep breath and lets him finish.
“I know you weren’t in your right mind. I don’t... hold it against you. Anymore.” Tim manages. And, fuck, is babyest bird seriously trying to fucking apologize? To Jason?
“Are you really trying to apologize for me almost beating you to death?” He asks, flatly. “Just checking. Because that’s insane, Tim.”
Tim bites his lip. Ah, not good. Almost a flinch, but a social one.
“I’m apologizing for bringing it up.” His hands absently hits record on the scope, giving more attention to Jason. “I know you’re... Damn, Jay, I know it fucks with you, alright? Having to remember it.”
“You have to remember it!” Jason says, throwing up both hands-- which, fuck. But Tim doesn’t react, doesn’t so much as lean away from the wild limbs.
“I’ve had worse.” Tim points out, almost-- fuck, distracted, almost as an aside, as a faint beep comes from the scope and he looks down at it. “Honestly...it was a long time ago, Jay. We’re good.”
“We’re good.” Jason repeats in disbelief, remembering the sharp crack of bone. His voice is hoarse.
The worst part is, he wants it to be true. He wants them to be good, wants that easy camaraderie years into the future. Wants to have so many good times between them that they can barely remember the bad.
Then he twinges onto the other half of that sentiment, and wants to shake Tim.
“Wait, you’ve had worse? From me?”
He knew that to be true, of course. Even in the depths of his rage, finding out the little Robin whose throat he casually slit hadn’t been wearing a gorget--because he was allergic to the material and Bruce hadn’t yet synthesized a replacement-- had almost made him physically ill. He’d still been deluding himself, at the time, that he was perfectly in control. That he had chosen every act of violence, that he was being purposeful.
That fuck-up had been one of his first wake up calls that he really, really wasn’t. Even if it was a ‘reasonable’ assumption, he still should have fucking checked. Detectives do their homework, and so what if Dick had worn a gorget, for most of his time out, and so had Jason.
He knew the Robin suit was deceptively well-armored; it only looked like you were defenseless. Shit, even the bare legs were a taunt and a trap; Bruce damn well taught them to defend hits there, and any that got through were still safer than cuts or shots to the torso or head.
So he’d nearly killed Tim with what should have been, if not a love tap, then a mere threat to Bruce and not a serious attempt on Tim’s life. He’d excused the purposeful attempts, of course. At the time, it was only the accidents that bothered Jason-- the perceived lack of control.
He’d shot Tim. He’d snuck into a place where he was supposed to be safe, his home away from home-- and yes, Jason had been bitter at the time that Bruce never allowed him a team, fearful it would turn his second Robin’s head as it did the first’s-- and beat the shit out of him.
And yet something about the way Tim said that he’d had worse...
“From me, right? The other times?” Jason demands. “What do you mean, you’ve had worse?”
Tim makes a caught little sound in his throat, visibly unhappy. His eyes cut to the side.
“Do we have to do this?” He asks plaintively. “It’s not important.”
Not important.
For the first time since conquering the Pit madness, Jason’s vision hazes over a different color. Fear grips him by the throat, almost choking out the anger, but only for a second, because it’s not green that takes him.
He sees red.
Teeth grit, fists clenched so hard he fears he’ll drawl blood, Jason has to fucking count to calm himself down enough to speak. He will not shout at Tim. He will not swing at Tim.
He wants to throttle him, though. Urrgh.
“Jason?” Tim asks, quietly. Concerned. Not afraid. Not scared. Not timid. Leaning towards him, even. As though convinced he’s in no danger at all.
For the first time, Jason wonders if all their so-called progress is just Tim’s distinct lack of self preservation.
Maybe his little brother is too stupid to be afraid.
No, that’s not fair. Tim’s a genius.
He’s just also an idiot.
Jason, in a fit of masochism, had read the kid’s medical file. He’d needed to know every bit of damage he’d done that he could never undo. Since then, he’s familiarized the files of all birds and bird-related bats. Having a working knowledge of what everyone’s got going on-- like, say, allergies to gorget material or their blood types-- is mission goddamn essential in Gotham.
He’s never seen anything about the kid being hurt worse. Which means, of course, not only did the kid not think it was worth mentioning, he went out of his way to hide it. Jason thinks of Tim’s clipped little reports, the bare bones essentials accounting of his own fights with Ra’s Al Ghul, and comes to a conclusion he doesn’t think he likes.
“You--” Jason clears his throat, modulates his tone. He wants to grab Tim by the shoulders, but he can’t. He won’t. Instead he looks across the rooftop and to hell with whatever mission they’ve got going on.
“You listen to me, because I’m only going to say this once.” He manages to keep the growl out, but his voice is deep. Serious. It’s also a boldfaced goddamn lie; he’ll say this as many times as he needs to.
Tim leans in, eyes shocked wide and young beneath his domino. But not scared; still not scared. Good. Jason exhales slowly, maintains that eye contact.
“It was so, so fucked up-- all the things I did to you. I regret them. I’m sorry. But not because I was out of control, and mad with rage. That’s not the part that bothers me.”
Well, not the majority of it.
“Then... what?” Tim’s voice was small. Quiet. But curious and unafraid.
“You, Baby Bird. I could have killed you. I did, in fact, hurt you. That’s the horrible part. You could have died.”
“But, I’m just...” Tim snaps his mouth shut tightly, looking away. He looks haunted, like he’d said exactly what he didn’t mean to. And yep, that’s it for Jason, because fuck all of this.
He’s up and moving before he can even think not to walk like the juggernaut he is, but maybe it is soon enough, close enough to that future, because Tim just watches him with big blinking eyes, waiting to see what he’ll do.
He trusts Jason not to hurt him.
Fuck, but that’s good, so Jason doesn’t hesitate as he yanks his brother into a fierce hug. Better than wringing his scrawny neck, anyway, though it’s not off the table.
Jason wants to shake him.
“You’re not ‘just’ anything. You’re...” Fuck, fuck, fuck. Jason forces his voice out around a tight throat. “You’re my brother and I love you. Shit. Your life matters. You matter. I’m so fucking glad you’re alive.”
Tim starts shaking in his arms, but Jason just holds him tighter. It occurs to him that perhaps, somehow, with the shitty way he’s grown up-- shittier, in its own way, than Jason’s own miserable adolescence-- that maybe nobody’s told him this before.
That some of this cavalier disregard for his own importance in their lives-- right from the beginning, when he, an untrained little kid, put on the suit and risked his life because Bruce needed him-- came from having never been told.
Well, Jason would tell him. Jason would tell him a thousand fucking times, if he had to.
He’d show him, too.
It was lucky they were recording the stakeout, because Jason couldn’t be fucked to care about anything for the rest of the night. Oh, they stayed up on that rooftop-- they didn’t leave until dawn, in fact-- but they talked about things more important than the mobsters at the docks.
And two months later, when Jason Todd had been publicly, ‘miraculously returned from his own staged death that was actually a kidnapping’, when he found a copy of his death certificate marked RESCINDED, left out on the kitchen table,Jason knew exactly who to blame for what he saw.
He threw his head back and laughed.
JASON PETE TODD was spelled loudly and in bold on the documents, but it wasn’t a typo. Oh, no.
Tim had stolen the R from his middle name.
-
This fic has been converted for free using AOYeet!
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Since the vocaloid s/o is a computer program/a robot? She can have technical difficulties, or hell.. Just run out of her battery like a laptop. Imagine one day, her and ruki are just chilling in the kitchen, she is talking about an oncoming concert and how excited she is for it and then... An alert comes on.. "Battery too low, going on sleep mode. " and then.. Oops... There she goes, falling to the floor back first, with her eyes completely blacked out, seems as though she haven't been getting charged correctly for awhile!
“A concert, huh? Well, of course I’d be delighted to go if it’s with you. Normally I despise loud and congested places, but—”
BATTERY TOO LOW, GOING ON SLEEP MODE.
Thud!
“Oi!! Get a hold of yourself…! Good grief, did you not charge when I told you to? It seems you are as disobedient as ever…”
Before the Vampire could snatch her hand and possibly save her from the abrupt collision with the tiled kitchen floor, the Vocaloid laid sprawled out, eyes void of life and black like an abyss of infinite darkness. Rushing to her unconscious body, a look of despair and thousands of spiraling worries crossed his features, scooping her into his arms as bone-chilling as her own synthetic body. Much like a demon of the undead, the Vocaloid lacked the warmth of a human body and a pulse of her own, similar to the one who now held her in his arms and teleported to the bedroom.
“Quick, we need to get you plugged back in as soon as possible…”
Resting her atop the cool silk sheets and billowingly soft mattress, the Vampire rummaged the nearby surroundings for her charger cord, the one he would normally link her to during the late hours of the night to simulate a vegetative state not quite like sleep, but closer to that of a device in need of prolonged recuperation. The cable would connect to the blinking headphones atop her head, an accessory every Vocaloid wore with pride. Once he plugged it in, another voiced alert resounded.
INITIATING REBOOT SEQUENCE… DO NOT TURN OFF THE POWER.
“You’ve ought to take better care of yourself… and here I thought you recently charged as well. I suppose I was mistaken,” he chastised with a sigh, caressing the strands of loose hairs framing her face away from view to get a better look at her fatigued, albeit peaceful slumber. “It’s understandable to be excited about your concert, and about your singing… but you cannot perform at the peak of your abilities if you are always operating on such low battery. What a cheeky one you are.”
The process typically took multiple hours, but Ruki was willing to wait the entire time. In fact, he grew accustomed to these recovery sessions and would either read a novel in the meantime or work on one of his many blank jigsaw puzzles in silence, wishing she would awaken soon to join him in his favorite pastimes.
“As I was saying earlier, before you fainted… Of course I want to watch you on the stage, singing to your heart’s content. Call me a selfish master, but even now I’m still distraught that so many others get to hear your melodious voice. Even so, I will support you no matter what. When you look to the front row of the audience, I’ll be there cheering you on. Well, perhaps not verbatim, but I won’t take my eyes off you. Just promise me that you will rest more frequently from now on,” then he chuckled a bit with a wry smile, “and perhaps dedicate a song for your master in private after the concert is over.”
In the midst of replenishing her energy, he climbed onto the bed and held the Vocaloid in a tight embrace from behind, arms snuggly coiled around her as if she might disappear in the blink of an eye. Gently, as if she was made of glass itself. Fragile, headstrong, and yet reflective of the most lustrous iridescence. Ruki likens her to all that is bright in his world, the one who possesses an angelic voice and eliminates the otherwise endless tenebrosity as a saintly seraph would.
“Truth be told, a light punishment is in order for your constant insubordination, so don’t think for a second that I won’t bite you just because you are a simulation or carry the most saturated cherry essence in your veins. However, you lucked out for now, since your master is patient through and through. The specialized song dedicated to me can wait. More than anything, it’s your health that takes precedence,” he whispered into her ear without a care of whether she could register his words. “Sleep well… and we shall see each other again soon. When your eyes open again, I look forward to hearing your voice once more. The voice that offers me catharsis and encourages me to aspire for life’s greatest heights.”
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Dinah/Ollie
who hogs the duvet
I think they are both hot sleepers who kick the blankets off and someone somehow ends up with their feet on the pillow, so no one. Or George. George claims the duvet after it's been kicked off the bed.
who texts/rings to check how their day is going
Neither! They give each other a lot of space in the day to day.
who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts
Ollie, because he loves being dramatic (and usually has to make up for some nonsense he's pulled).
who gets up first in the morning
They are both night owls who stay in bed as late as possible. Ollie eventually drags himself out of bed to make Dinah coffee and she gets up when she smells it.
who suggests new things in bed
Both of them, they are creative and voracious.
who cries at movies
Both of them but they have different crying triggers.
who gives unprompted massages
Ollie.
who fusses over the other when they’re sick
Ollie. He is also INCREDIBLY whiny when he's sick and Dinah is very patient.
who gets jealous easiest
Neither of them, really - again, their relationship has a lot of space in it - but possibly Ollie by a hair. Dating Ollie while having a jealous nature is not a fruitful path.
who has the most embarrassing taste in music
Ollie canonically only listens to music from the 40s no matter what year the comic was published in, and Dinah is literally canonically the lead singer of the coolest band in the DCU, so I guess technically Ollie but actually they are both amazing and I love them.
who collects something unusual
Ollie canonically collects old bows and random Robin Hood stuff, so.
who takes the longest to get ready
Ollie, that beard is sculpted.
who is the most tidy and organised
I think they are on about the same level of "comfortably cluttered but not messy."
who gets most excited about the holidays
Ollie, but they both love them.
who is the big spoon/little spoon
They switch!
who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports
BOTH OF THEM, I feel like this is always going to be the answer with superhero ships. These are not people who know how to back down or walk away.
who starts the most arguments
Ollie lol.
who suggests that they buy a pet
Ollie didn't really suggest it, he just rescued a dog the size of a horse and that was that.
what couple traditions they have
I refuse.
what tv shows they watch together
Nope.
what other couple they hang out with
Hal and...Carol? I guess? Or whoever he's dating at that particular moment? It's just Hal, really. I'm trying to picture them hanging out with Babs and Dick but I cannot picture Ollie and Dick on a double date together, I just can't.
how they spend time together as a couple
Fucking. Eating chili. Arguing. Fighting crime. Fucking some more. (This was formative for Roy, who considers it peak romance. Jason's on board but would like to incorporate meals that aren't chili.)
who made the first move
It's pretty much always Ollie in every version of canon, and that feels extremely correct to me.
who brings flowers home
The flowers are in their home, they are florists.
who is the best cook
The answer to this depends entirely on how much you like chili.
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