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#it can't replace the best ones tho
kdramaxoxo · 1 year
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Regardless of the lack of angst and pining, the kiss MECHANICS were 10/10
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icharchivist · 2 years
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on another irony i went back to look for Road’s song out of nostalgia while at it and the only thing youtube knew to do was shove STEP from a3 in my way, for NO reason, but only to have me stare, confused, almost yelling, about why out of all the a3 songs to shove my way it had to be the one with Kanda’s second seiyuu while i was specifically talking about the dgm seiyuu coincidences that had been following me.
#Takuya Sato is never going to let me forget that i first was meh about him because he wasn't Takahiro Sakurai#2015's opinions that didn't age well AT ALL#i talked about it a lot before but the second dgm anime had a lot of seiyuu newcomers.#that started just getting popular but started out in idol games so casual shounen fans were so mean to them LMAO#but personally i was just sour the whole ancient cast was replaced by a new sounding one#i remember staying up super late to the 2015's cast annoncement and being a bit disappointed with the seiyuu at the time#And Sato especially was taking Kanda in a complete different direction than Sakurai and i didn't know what to think of it#anyway the anime sucked (not bc of the seiyuu tho they did their best) and i moved on with my life#only to get obsessed about seiyuu in 2019 or so and getting hit in the face#with the fact all of my favorite seiyuu at the time. Were all in the dgm second anime.#Takuya Sato. Eguchi Takuya. Wataru Hatano. Saito Soma. Hanae Natsuki. All that jazz.#not specifically a fav too but a seiyuu i like: Ayume Murase too#and i'm still. Staring at my past self. Trying to slap her in the face like. Bro. Bro.#Meanwhile now Sakurai hit rock bottom in my esteem and he somehow still brought a shovel#i can't believe history will come back at me laughing at me#on how i'm crying over how happy i am hearing Sato's voice and wanting Sakurai's to disappear.#life comes at you fast and it comes at you in the most hilarious way so beware.#(at least from the old cast Suzuken still didn't disappoint me and that's all that matters <3)#ichatalks
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youaresimplylovely · 5 months
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Fashion n' Cars (Part Four)
Pairings: F1 Grid x Verstappen!Supermodel!Reader Summary: Max Verstappen has a sister who is a famous supermodel but what happens when other F1 drivers start taking interest in her? Warnings: we still have overprotective maxie and a lil cutie maxie <3 fluff!! Fc: Emily Ratajkwoski Proofread!! A/N: woohoo! happy 500 followersss, love u all so much <33 im so happy that we reached this far and i can't wait to continue writing for u guys and giving u the best <3 and again if u want to be added on my taglist u can input ur user on this form ^^ https://forms.gle/4Pk1HSDjTEg51Xo79
part one part two part three
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ynverstappen
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maxverstappen1 YOU SAID I WAS GONNA BE WITH YOU WHEN YOU GO TO LONDON 😐
ynverstappen had to take an expert maxverstappen1 you're replacing me with Lewis??? ynverstappen it depends
lewishamilton had fun in London with you darling :)
maxverstappen1 can't wait for the british grand prix so i can crash into you :) ynverstappen thanks lew lew!! maxverstappen1 lew lew my ass
user5 SHUT UP LEWIS AND YN DATE IN LONDON??????
f1 😍
maxverstappen1 are you serious?
ynverstappen love ya f1 <33 user3 AAAA F1 ADMIN SUPPORTING LEWIS AND YN maxverstappen1 no. admin does not. and so do i.
ynverstappen
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ynverstappen maybe if i don't wear rb merch my brother won't win 😋
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maxverstappen1 yeah sure 🥱
landonorris WILL YOU BE MY FUTURE MRS. NORRIS 😍😍
maxverstappen1 i'll kill you before the wedding. landonorris what :( but then i can't marry her!?!? maxverstappen1 exactly.
charles_leclerc red is the only way to go mon amour 😘
maxverstappen1 it also means danger.
georgerussel63 wear merc, we'll be matching 🥰
maxverstappen1 why are there so many british guys here.
user8 WE LOVE OVERPROTECTIVE MAXIE :<< <33
f1
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f1 our podium for this weekend 🤩
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ynverstappen awh :( i wore ferrari merch but he still won (congrats to carlos tho <3)
maxverstappen1 that's called karma. carlossainz55 muchas gracias hermosa
lewishamilton thanks for not crashing into me @maxverstappen1
maxverstappen1 you're walking on thin ice.
landonorris i sprayed you champagne brother in law, can i marry your sister (2) ?
maxverstappen1 no (2) pierregasly since when do you know how to use "(2)" maxverstappen1 i'm not that old.
ynverstappen
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ynverstappen appreciation post to the first man in my life other than my daddy @josverstappen7 <3
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maxverstappen1 that's better, i love you schatje.
ynverstappen love u too maxie <333
ynverstappen
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ynverstappen back in the uk but with some french guy ><
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TAGLIST
And again if u want to be added u can answer the gform or reply hereee <33
@euphoricchills @charlesleclerx @Inchident-jgp @amethyst-bitch @dr4g0ngirl @likedbygaslyy @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @bibissparkles @lokideservesahug @hiireadstuff @urfavouriteanon @darleneslane @shelbyteller @spookystitchery @justtprachisblog @alliwantisadonut @kika-writes @casperlikej @funnelcakeee @xoscar03 @snapeeballsack @silverxxs-world @thearchieves @destinyg237 @juliee4everial @thebasicbiatch @glossiersworld @aadu2173 @honethatty12 @halleest @janeholt3 @callsignwidow @evie-119 @exotic-iris13 @dark-night-sky-99 @delululeclerc @eiaaasamantha @hrts4scarr @felicityforyou @sya-skies @hockeyboysarehot @iloveyou3000morgan @sugaspawsmari @aymfsts
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citysuk · 1 month
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echoes of us | anakin skywalker
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pairing: anakin skywalker x fem!reader
summary: anakin has spent the last four years away from you, consumed by his duties as a jedi, trying to move past the pain of your departure. although seeing you again wasn't something that he was expecting, the reunion leads to a tense confrontation, where anakin's deep-seated feelings clash with his lover's sense of duty, highlighting the tragic consequences of their forbidden relationship.
words: 7,1k words (oops)
warnings: please, you already know me so ANGST. kinda manipulative anakin¿ only a little bit. stubborn reader for the sake of the plot, i'm sorry (i'm not). a little bit of spicy hehehhe. no smut tho. no use of y/n but no oc neither. no proofread. i won't say a word about the finale so read to know what happens at the end 😤
notes: i just- (SATURATED SCREAMS). i'm on a star wars binge and i just couldn't help myself, i needed to write this. all i want in life is someone to love me like anakin loves her.
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It's been four long years since you left, and Anakin Skywalker has tried to move on with his life. He throws himself into his duties as a Jedi, taking on more missions and responsibilities. He pushes himself to his limits and beyond, trying to forget about the pain of losing you. But no matter how hard he tries, he can't seem to shake the memories. You're always there, lurking in the back of his mind, a constant reminder of what he lost. His heart still aches for you, and he still feels a sense of emptiness inside him.
As the years have passed, he has become more stoic, more reserved. He barely smiles anymore, and his laugh is rare. His fellow Jedi see these changes in him and wonder what has happened to make him so serious and cold. But Anakin keeps his emotions buried deep inside, never letting them surface, never letting anyone see the pain he's feeling. He's become a shadow of his former self, the bright-eyed and carefree Padawan replaced by a hardened and withdrawn Jedi Knight.
As the Clone Wars rage on, Anakin throws himself into battle, fighting with a ferocity and intensity that borders on feral. He's become a skilled and feared warrior, known for his bravery and skill, but also for his ruthless efficiency and lack of mercy towards his enemies. Even his fellow Jedi, the ones who are closest to him, cannot penetrate the shell he’s built around himself. He hides his emotions so well that it’s as if they don’t exist anymore, and no one suspects the depth of the pain he’s carrying inside him. He still feels your loss like a physical wound, and he fears that it will never heal. But he cannot let himself think of it, cannot allow himself to dwell on the past. He has a duty to the Jedi Order and the Republic, and longing can distract him from that.
So he goes through the motions of being a Jedi, fighting in the war, protecting the innocent, and doing his best to serve the greater good. But deep down, he knows that he'll never be truly happy again, that he'll carry his pain to the grave.
There are times, when he’s alone in the darkness of night, that he lets his guard down, that is when he allows his emotions to surface. And in those moments, he allows himself to think of you, to remember the happy times you had together, to ache for what might have been. But then, as the night ends and the morning comes, he pushes those thoughts away, locking them back up inside him, and he goes back to being the stoic and reserved Jedi Knight that everyone expects him to be.
And the cycle of pain and loneliness continues day after day, year after year. He keeps on living, fighting, and serving, but deep down, he knows that a part of him will always be empty, the part that you took when you left.
He wonders sometimes if you ever think of him and if you ever reflect on your time together with the same sense of melancholy and regret that he does. But he doesn’t allow himself to hope for that. It’s better to just keep pushing forward, to keep fighting the war and doing his duty.
That's until he hears the news that your father is coming to visit the Order. His heart skips a beat it's the first thing that he feels. He knows that since you went back to your planet your father never travels without you by his side, and this won't be the exception. His mind reels at the possibility of seeing you again. It’s been four years since you left to help your father in his political arrangements. Four long and lonely years. The thought of being in your presence again, even for a brief moment, fills him with a mix of emotions. Anticipation and dread, hope and fear.
He tries to keep his emotions in check, not wanting to get his hopes up too high. The idea of seeing you again after all this time is too good to be true. Besides, he knows that there is a small chance that you will not come to the temple, but he decides to embrace the possibility of at least seeing you.
When the masters of the Order confirmed that you would arrive with your father, he couldn't help but feel a rush of adrenaline running through his whole body. There's gotta be some sort of catch in this whole situation. But the more he thinks about it, the more he wants it and needs it.
As the day of your arrival approaches, he can't help but feel anxious. He doesn't know what to expect, how he'll react when he sees you. Will he be able to keep his emotions in check? Or will they surface in a wave of longing and regret? He tries to prepare himself, to steel himself for the moment. He tells himself it's just a visit, that it doesn't mean anything. But deep down, he knows that's not true. He's been waiting for this moment for years, and he can't deny the excitement and anticipation that's building inside him.
When the day finally arrives, he waits anxiously in the Temple, trying to remain calm. But his heart is racing, his palms are sweaty, and he can barely keep still. He's acutely aware of every passing moment, every second that brings him closer to seeing you again. His fellow Jedi notice his change in demeanor. He's usually so stoic and collected, but now he's jittery and restless, out of character for him. They wonder what could be causing this change, and they eye him with curious and sometimes amused glances. But Anakin ignores them, his thoughts solely focused on the moment ahead. He rehearses different scenarios in his head, trying to figure out how he’ll act when he sees you. But no matter how he imagines it, he can’t quite predict what will happen. The thought of facing you again after so long both thrills and terrifies him.
And then, finally, the moment arrives. He sees you walking through the Temple, in the company of your father and a few other dignitaries. The sight of you takes his breath away. You’ve grown, your features more mature and defined. But the sight of you holding the hand of another young politician he heard being called Kenth Cardas it's what makes him feel sick to the stomach. His heart clenches as he watches you, a sudden realization hitting him like a knife to the heart. You’re with someone else. Another man. And the pain that washes over him is sharper and more intense than any pain he’s ever felt before.
It takes all his willpower to keep his composure, to keep the expression of his face neutral. But inside, he’s seething with jealousy and hurt. He had been hoping, even expecting, for you to be single.
The thought of another man’s hands on you, another man’s eyes taking in your beauty, it’s almost too much for him to bear. He watches as you, your father, and your companion make your way through the Temple, greeting the Jedi and discussing diplomatic matters. Every step you take, every word you utter, it feels like the knife is being twisted in his heart. He wants to walk up to you, to pull you away from the other man and take you for himself. But he knows that’s not an option. You’re not his. You never were.
The scene is too abhorrent for him, he cannot bear another second of seeing you with another man that isn't him. With a lump in his throat and tears of frustration pricking at his eyes, Anakin turns and strides away from the scene, the sound of your laugh following him as he goes. He can’t stay there, can’t watch you pretending to be happy with someone else. It’s too painful, too agonizing. He needs to get away, to be alone, and try to process the torrent of emotions that threatens to overwhelm him. He heads to one of the quieter parts of the Temple, a place where he can be alone and try to get his emotions under control. He leans against the cold stone wall, his hands clenching into fists. He tries to push the image of you with another man out of his mind, but it’s burned into his memory, seared into his eyeballs. He’s never felt this level of jealousy and hurt before, and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. He feels like he’s unraveling like everything he’s worked to keep under control is suddenly slipping through his fingers. He punches the wall in impotent rage, the pain in his knuckles a welcome distraction from the pain in his heart. He wants to scream, to shout, to let out all the emotions that are boiling inside him. He stays still there for a few minutes which seems like hours, until he feels a presence behind him.
He turns, his heart racing as he senses who it is. And sure enough, there you are, standing a few feet away from him, looking at him with a mixture of concern and uncertainty. An uncomfortable silence settles between them as they stare at each other. The air is thick with emotion and tension, and Anakin feels his heart thudding in his chest. He doesn’t know what to say, or how to react.
He studies you as you stand there, his eyes roving over your face, taking in every detail. You’re even more beautiful than he remembers, but there’s a sense of sadness and resignation in your eyes that he doesn’t quite understand. He wants to say something, to break the silence that hangs between you like a thick fog. But the words stick in his throat, and he can’t force them out. Instead, he just stands there, staring at you like an idiot.
Taking a deep breath, you break the silence, your voice soft and hesitant. “Ani... Can I talk to you? For a moment.”
Anakin nods, barely able to speak. His heart is racing, his mind spinning. He can’t believe you’re really standing here in front of him, that he’s actually talking to you again after all this time. “Of course,” he manages to say, his voice rough and raspy.
You take another step closer, the distance between you feeling like an eternity. You look up at him, your eyes searching his face as if you’re looking for something. “It’s been a long time, you've grown,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper.
He nods again, feeling a lump in his throat. He wants to tell you how much he’s missed you, how many nights he’s spent thinking of you, yearning for you. But the words won’t come. He’s scared, scared to show you the depth of his feelings, scared that you’ll reject him. “Yeah, it has,” he manages to reply, his voice flat and emotionless.
You notice his tone, the way he’s putting up his walls, trying to keep his emotions in check. You know him too well, you can sense how he was feeling, the storm of emotions raging inside him. But you also know how stubborn he can be, how he’s willing to suffer in silence rather than admit his true feelings. You take another step closer, closing the distance between you even further. You reach out to touch his arm, your hand tentative and gentle, like you’re handling a wild animal. He freezes at your touch, his breath catching in his throat. He can feel the heat of your hand through the fabric of his sleeve, the warmth of your touch seeping into his skin. He wants to reach out and pull you to him, bury his face in your hair, and breathe in your scent. But he stands still, frozen in the moment, unable to move. You can feel his tension, the way his body is coiled tight like a spring. But you can also see the flicker of emotions in his eyes, the way his walls are crumbling as he stares at you. You know that underneath the hard exterior, there’s a part of him that’s aching to be let out, yearning for affection and connection.
You move closer still, your hand still gently resting on his arm. You’re so close now that he can feel your breath on his skin, the warmth of your body almost touching his. He shivers involuntarily, overwhelmed by your proximity. He wants to pull you to him, to hold you tight, and never let you go. He looks down at you, his eyes roving over your face, taking in every detail. He notices the flecks of gold in your eyes, the slight blush on your cheeks, the curve of your lips. It’s all he can do to keep his composure, to keep his emotions in check. But seeing you this close to him, feeling your touch on his skin, it’s like a dam breaking inside him. He takes a shuddering breath, trying to steady himself. He wants to tell you how much he’s missed you, how much he’s still in love with you, and how much he’s been hurting since you left. But the words won’t come, stuck in his throat like they’re glued there.
He’s torn between the conflicting desires to push you away and to pull you closer. Part of him wants to protect himself from further hurt, but a greater part of him is desperate to have you close, to feel your touch, and to hear your voice. He stands there, caught in an agony of indecision, his heart and his mind warring with each other. He wants to do the right thing, the sensible thing. But when it comes to you, he’s never been able to do what’s smart or pragmatic. He’s always been guided by his emotions, and right now, his emotions are screaming at him to take what he wants, consequences be damned. He can feel his resolve weakening, the walls he’s built around his heart crumbling. He’s always been a man of action, but right now, he doesn't know what to do.
You look up at him, your heart racing in your chest. You can sense the turmoil inside him, the storm of emotions raging in his eyes. You know that he’s struggling to keep his composure, but you also know how much he’s hurting. You take a deep breath, summoning up the courage to say what you need to say. “Ani, I didn’t forget the time we spent together, the promises we made.”
His eyes widen at your words, his heart skipping a beat. He hadn’t expected you to say that, to admit that you’ve been thinking of him all this time. He feels a surge of hope and longing rise in his chest, his breath catching in his throat. You pressed on, your voice was soft but firm. “The friendship we maintained for so many years will always be marked in my mind, no matter where I am.”
He feels his heart skip a beat at your words. It’s what he’s wanted to hear for so long, the confirmation that you still think of him, that there’s still a chance for them.
He stands there, frozen in the moment, caught between the desire to pull you to him and the fear that if he does, it will only end in heartbreak. He doesn’t know what to say, or how to react. He feels like he’s in a dream like this isn’t happening.
He looks down at you, his eyes roving over your face. He sees the honesty and vulnerability you’re showing him. He wants to believe you, he wants to let himself hope. But he can’t shake the feeling that this is just a cruel trick, the vision of you holding that man's hand it's something that he can't shake off his head. He feels that he’s going to wake up any minute and find himself alone again.
He starts to pull away, his walls going up again. “I don’t believe you,” he says, his voice cold and distant.
Your eyes widen at his words, your heart sinking at the tone of his voice. You had expected some resistance, but you didn’t expect him to deny your feelings outright. "What I'm saying it's truthful, I never stopped thinking about you"
He shakes his head, his eyes hard and cold. He wants to push you away, to protect himself from the pain. “I don’t want to hear it,” he says gruffly. “It’s too late, it’s been four years. You made your choice when I asked you to stay but you left.”
You blink back tears at his words, the hurt and anger in his voice like a knife to your gut. You had hoped that he would understand, that he would see how much you still cared for him. “You know that what we were feeling exceeded friendliness and was wrong, the attachments are prohibited. This was for something bigger than you and me both,” you say, looking at him almost guilty.
He scoffs at your words, his anger rising. “Don’t talk to me about attachments. I know the Code, I know about the stupid rules. But don’t tell me that what we had meant anything to you since you come here now holding another man's hand.” Anakin is seething with jealousy now, his hands clenching into fists. The thought of you with another man, another man touching you and holding you, it’s more than he can bear. He wants to grab you and shake you, to make you understand how much the sight of you with someone else hurts him.
He takes a step closer, looming over you. He’s taller and stronger than you, and he towers above you, his presence intimidating. “Tell me the truth,” he growls. “Did you ever really love me, or was it all just a lie?”
Your heart is racing in your chest as he looms over you, his eyes flashing with anger and hurt. You can feel the tension in the air, the danger and volatility of the situation. “Of course I loved you,” you say, your voice shaking just a little. “I loved you with all my heart, and I still do.”
He sneers at your words, his face twisting into a cruel smile. He doesn’t believe you, doesn’t want to believe you. It’s easier to think that you’re lying, that you never really loved him at all. “Prove it,” he snaps. “Prove that you love me.”
You’re taken aback by his challenge, his demand. You didn’t expect him to ask you to prove your feelings, to put them to the test. “What… what do you mean, prove it?” you ask, your voice small and uncertain.
He takes another step closer, his body almost touching yours. He’s so close that you can feel the heat of his skin, the tension radiating off him in waves. “Kiss me,” he says, his voice low and dangerous. “Kiss me like you mean it. Show me that you’re not just playing with me.”
Your heart skips a beat at his words, the intensity of his gaze, and the heat of his body. You’re nervous and hesitant, but you also feel a pang of longing and desire. You want to prove to him that your feelings are real, that you’re not just toying with him. You can feel his breath on your lips, the heat of his mouth just inches away from yours. "I'm engaged." You blurt out.
His face darkens at your words, the mention of your engagement like a slap in the face. He feels a surge of irrational jealousy and anger, the idea of you marrying someone else infuriating him. “So what?” he snaps. “You’re engaged to someone else, but you’re still here, standing here in front of me, telling me that you love me. Kiss me. You said you still love me. Prove it.”
You're taken aback by his insistence, his refusal to listen to reason. "It's not that simple, Ani," you say, trying to maintain your composure. "I'm with another person now, and it wouldn't be right to-"
He cuts you off, grabbing you by the wrists and pulling you to him so that your bodies are pressed together. He’s breathing heavily, his chest heaving with emotion. He’s on the edge, barely holding it together. He can feel the warmth of your body pressed against his, the scent of your skin, the beat of your heart. “Damn the rules, damn the Code,” he says, his voice low and dangerous. “I want to feel your lips on mine. I want to taste you, I want to hold you. I don’t care about anything else.”
You can see the desperation in his eyes, the hunger and need. You’re torn, part of you wants to give in to his demand, to give yourself over to the passion and desire that always existed between you. But another part of you is wary, knowing that this is dangerous, that indulging in this could lead to nothing but pain and heartache. "Ani, stop," you say, your voice gentle but firm. "We can't do this. We can't let ourselves go down this path."
He scoffs at your words, his grip on your wrists tightening. He can’t believe you’re still resisting him, still holding back when you’ve already admitted that you still love him. “Why not?” he asks, his voice a low growl. “What’s stopping us? You said you love me. You can’t deny that you want this. I can see it in your eyes.”
You feel your resolve weakening, the heat of his body and the intensity of his gaze making it hard to think straight. "I can't do this to Kenth," you say, trying to hold onto your reasoning. "I can't just throw away what I have with him. I can't hurt him like that. He's a good man."
He scoffs again, his jealousy flaring at the mention of your fiancé. To him, he's nothing more than a rival, a hindrance to what he wants. "A good man," he sneers. "What does he have that I don’t? What can he give you that I can’t?"
You take a deep breath, feeling the weight of his question. You know that your fiancé is a good person, kind and respectful, but you also know that he’s not the same as Ani. There’s something about your history with Anakin, something about the passion and intensity of your connection, that’s unique and special. “It’s not about what he has or what he can give me,” you say, your voice quiet but firm. "It's about the future and following the rules for the sake of everyone."
He feels a pang of jealousy and bitterness at your words, the idea of you building a life with someone else it's like his biggest nightmare turning into reality.
“You’re mine,” he says through clenched teeth. “You will always be mine. I don’t care about your fiancé, your future, or anything else. I only care about you. So stop thinking about what you should do, and what you shouldn’t do, and just feel. For once in your life, just let yourself feel what you know you want.”
His words strike a chord within you, the intensity and possessiveness of his declaration igniting a spark of desire deep inside you. You can feel yourself weakening, your resolve cracking under the weight of his words. “Ani, please,” you say, your voice little more than a whisper. “This isn’t fair.”His words send a shiver down your spine, the heat of his body and the strength of his grip making it impossible to resist him. You’re caught between reason and emotion, torn between your loyalty to your fiancé and the deep-seated love you still feel for him. “Please…” you whisper, your voice breaking. “You’re not thinking straight. You don’t know what you’re doing.”
He looks down at you, his eyes burning with intensity. “I know exactly what I’m doing,” he says, his voice fierce and determined. “I’m claiming what should have always been mine. I’m taking what I want. You.” He leans down, his mouth hovering mere inches from yours, his breath hot against your skin. The tension between you is electric, the air thick with desire and need. Your breath catches in your throat, your heart racing in your chest. You can feel the heat and power radiating off of him, the primal force of his need and desire nearly overpowering your senses. You know that you should resist, that you should push him away and run before it’s too late. But you can’t bring yourself to do it. Your body is drawn to his, your mind consumed with the need to feel his lips on yours.
He can see the conflict in your eyes, the battle between your loyalty and your desires. He can tell that you’re close to breaking, close to giving in to what you both want. He leans in even closer, his lips practically touching yours. “Stop fighting it,” he whispers, his voice low and sultry. “Stop trying to be strong, and just let go. I know you want this. You’ve always wanted this.“ His words send a jolt of electricity through your body, the truth of them hitting you like a ton of bricks. You know that he’s right, that deep down you’ve always wanted this, always wanted him. You know that no matter how hard you try to deny it, there will be a part of you that will always belong to him. You can feel your resistance crumbling, your body and mind completely under his control.
He senses your surrender, the last of your resistance crumbling beneath the weight of his words and his touch. He can feel the heat and desire radiating off you, the air between you electric and charged. Without another word, he closes the tiny gap between you and captures your lips with his own. The moment his lips meet yours, it’s like a circuit is completed. The floodgates of long-suppressed desire burst open, and you kiss him back with a passion that takes your breath away. It’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced before, the intensity and heat of it like a storm, crashing over you and consuming you whole. You respond to the kiss with equal hunger and fervor, his hands moving to cup your face, to pull you closer to him. He wants to devour you, to possess you completely. He can feel the tension building between you, the passion and need threatening to overwhelm you both.
You wrap your arms around him, pulling him towards you and molding your body against his. You can feel his strength, his power, the taut muscles of his back, and the heat of his skin beneath his robes. The kiss deepens, your mouths moving together in a dance of desire and need. Your hearts are racing, your bodies electrified by the heat of the kiss.
You feel the possessive urgency in his touch, the hunger and need in his every movement. You can feel the jealousy and the anger, the primal need to possess you completely. And despite yourself, you feel your body responding to his touch, igniting a fire deep within you that you thought was long extinguished.
He breaks the kiss, his eyes burning into yours, his body still pressing you against the wall. He’s panting, his breathing ragged and uneven, his body vibrating with need. “You’re mine,” he growls, his voice raw and hoarse. “No one else is ever going to touch you, no one else is going to have you. I want you to leave him.“
Your mind is hazy, your thoughts clouded by the heat and desire coursing through your body. You know that you should resist him, however, you want to tell him that he owns your body and soul completely. But your mind betrays you, your words coming out in little more than a breath. "I... I can't," you whisper, your voice trembling.
The words are like a cold bucket of water to his face, his eyes flashing with a mixture of hurt and anger. He pulls back from you slightly, his hands still on your hips, anchoring you to the wall. “Why not?” he bites out, his voice rough and sharp. “What’s stopping you?“
You try to find the words to explain, to tell him that it’s too much, that you’re still engaged to someone else. But before you can form the words, he’s leaning back in, his body pressing against yours once again. “Tell me,” he says, his voice a low growl in your ear. “Tell me why you can’t be mine. I want to hear you say it.“ The heat and desire that was coursing through you moments ago has faded, replaced by a sense of guilt and confusion. You know that you should put your foot down, that you should remind him of your engagement. But you’re finding it increasingly hard to think straight as he presses his body against yours, his voice a seductive whisper in your ear. “It's a political arrangement.” You manage to say, the words coming out in a shaky breath.
A low, possessive growl escapes his throat as he hears your words. "What do you mean, a 'political arrangement'?" he snaps, his hands tightening on your hips. "Explain."
You take a shaky breath, your body still pressed against the cool surface of the wall. The primal possessiveness of his touch sends a shiver down your spine. “My marriage. It’s an arrangement made by our families,” you explain, your voice barely above a whisper. “It’s meant to strengthen our families’ political relationships.”
His jaw clenches at your words. The thought of you entering into a political arrangement with someone else, someone who didn’t deserve you, is enough to make his blood boil. He moves his body impossibly closer, his hands shifting to cup your face, his voice a low growl. “So your family basically sold you to someone else for political gain?”
Your heart sinks at the harsh truth of his words. In the back of your mind, you’ve always known that the engagement was more about politics than love. But the truth hurts, especially hearing it said out loud. You can feel the tension and possessive anger in his body, the way his body is pressed against yours like a cage. You know he’s not going to let this go easily. You nod, your voice barely above a whisper. “Essentially, yes.“
His mind reels at your admission, his anger and jealousy growing even stronger. He can’t believe that your family would treat you like a bargaining chip like a possession to be traded away for political gain. “And you agreed to this?” he practically spits out, his voice thick with anger. “You agreed to marry someone you don’t even love?“
Your heart twists at the anger and hurt in his voice, but you can’t deny the truth of his words. You did agree to marry someone you don’t love, all because of your family’s political aspirations. You nod again, your eyes downcast. You’re ashamed and embarrassed, and guilt washes over you like a wave. You know you’ve hurt him by agreeing to marry someone else, but you don’t know how to fix it.
He pulls back slightly, his hands falling from your face. He feels a mix of anger, hurt, and jealousy coursing through him, the primal possessiveness warring with the need to protect you. “So you’re going to marry him?” he asks, his voice low and hoarse. “You’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone you don’t even love? Are you gonna be happy with that?“
You find yourself unable to meet his gaze. You’ve never thought about it that way before, but there isn't much that you can do. You shake your head slowly, your voice barely above a whisper. “It's the best outcome for everyone. For my family, the Order, the Force... and for you.“
His jaw clamps shut at your words, a surge of anger and frustration coursing through him. The thought of you marrying someone else, settling for a life that is anything less than what you deserve, is unbearable to him. “Best outcome for everyone?” he grits out, his voice raw with emotion. “Except for you. What about what you want? What about your happiness?“ His words sting bitterly, the shame and guilt you feel growing stronger. You know that your happiness is not a priority in this arrangement, that it never has been. But the truth hurts, especially when it’s said out loud. You shake your head again, your voice trembling. “It doesn’t matter. I have a duty, the responsibility to see this through.“
His heart aches at your words, the fact that you’re willing to sacrifice your own happiness for the sake of duty is something he can’t understand. It goes against everything he believes in, against everything he fights for. “Duty and responsibility be damned,” he snaps, his voice edged with anger and frustration. “You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be with someone who loves you, who worships the ground you walk on. Not some political arrangement.“
Your heart clenches at his words, the mix of anger and desperation in his voice bringing tears to your eyes. You know he’s right, deep down you’ve always known that you deserve more than you’re settling for. But duty and responsibility have always been pounded into you, and the thought of going against them is terrifying. “It’s not that simple,” you whisper, your voice thick with emotion. “It’s not just about me. It’s about the Republic, the Jedi Order…”
He scoffs at your words, the anger and frustration growing stronger. The fact that you’re still focusing on what's expected of you, even after everything you’ve just shared, is frustrating for him. “None of that matters if you’re not happy. You’re not some pawn to be used in someone else’s game.“
Your heart aches more with every word he says, the truth of them echoing in your head. You know he’s right, you know that your happiness should come first, but the years of conditioning and expectations are hard to break. “I can’t just... abandon everything...” you say, your voice weak. “I can’t disappoint them.“
His eyes flash with anger and disbelief, his patience wearing thin. “You’re more worried about disappointing them than about your happiness? That’s a load of Bantha poodoo and you know it. They don’t deserve your loyalty.”
He's right, you know he is. You've been putting everyone else's needs above your own for so long that it's become second nature. You look up at him, tears streaming down your face. "But what about you?" you whisper, your voice trembling.
“What about me?” he echoes, his voice hoarse with emotion. “You’re choosing someone else over me. You’re choosing a life of political duty over our happiness, over what we could have together.“ He steps closer to you again, his body once again pinning you against the wall. His hands reach out to cup your face, his touch gentle despite the storm of emotion raging within him. “We could have a life together. We could be happy.“
Your heart clenches at his words, the weight of the decision you’re facing hitting you like a ton of durasteel. You know what you want, deep down you know that you’d give anything to be with him. But responsibility, a lifetime of conditioning, is still weighing heavily on you. You lean into his touch, your eyes falling closed. Your voice is a whisper, choked with emotion. “Is that possible?” He feels a pang of pain at your question, the doubt in your voice makes him want to just keep you in his arms until you understand what you mean to him. He’s never been more sure of anything in his life. “Yes,” he says, his voice steady and firm, despite the emotions churning inside him. “It’s possible. It’s more than possible. It’s what I want, what I’ve wanted since I met you.“ His hands tighten on your face, his touch gentle yet possessive. “Please, don’t marry him. Choose me.“
His words and touch cut through the fog of doubt and confusion surrounding you. The thought of choosing him, of having a life with him, fills you with a sense of longing and hope that you’ve never known before. For the first time, the thought of your future isn’t shrouded in obligations, it’s filled with love and happiness. You let out a ragged breath, your body tense. “I don’t want to marry Kenth.” You whisper.
His heart nearly leaps out of his chest at your words, a surge of triumph and relief coursing through him. He pulls you closer, his arms wrapping around you like a vise, pulling you flush against him. His body is taut with need and desire, the primal possessiveness in him raging stronger than ever. “Then don’t.” he whispers into your ear, his voice a low growl. “Be with me.“
Your body melds against him, your trembling hands coming up to rest on his shoulders. You feel a mix of relief and desire and fear coursing through you as you look into his eyes, your voice a whisper. “What if they find out? What if they try to... stop us? Or worse, haunt us?“
He pulls back slightly to look at you, his eyes burning with a mix of passion and determination. The thought of anyone trying to stop or hurt you fills him with a fierce, protective rage. “They’ll try,” he says, his voice hard. “But I’ll never let anything happen to you. I’ll protect you, no matter what. And if anyone tries to stop us, they’ll have to go through me first.“
His words, full of certainty and strength, send a shiver down your spine. You’ve never felt so wanted, so desired, so protected. The thought of being with him, of having his love and loyalty, is both exhilarating and terrifying. You look into his eyes, searching for reassurance. “And what if it doesn’t work?” you ask hesitantly. “What if we can’t make it?“
He sees the doubt and fear in your eyes, and his heart clenches at the thought of losing you. He pulls you even closer, his body pressed against yours, his arms wrapped around you fiercely. “It will work,” he says, his voice firm and unwavering. “I’ll make sure it does. I won’t let anything come between us.“ He leans in, his lips brushing against your ear, his voice a low growl. “I love you. And I won’t let anyone or anything take you away from me.“
His words, spoken with such unwavering conviction, send a jolt of hope and love through you. You’ve never felt so safe, so cherished, so loved. You can feel the heat and strength of his body against yours, the possessiveness and determination radiating off him in waves. You close your eyes, leaning into him, his lips at your ear. “I love you too,“ you whisper, your voice cracking with emotion. “I’ve always loved you.“
Anakin for the first time in his life, feels complete, whole. He embraces you tightly, his hands roaming over your body, possessive and protective. “You’re mine,” he whispers, his voice rough with emotion. “And I’m yours. No one can keep us apart again. Not the Order, not the Republic, not the universe.“
You can feel the possessiveness in his touch, the way his hands roam over your body as though he owns it. And a part of you, a primal, feminine part of you, longs to be owned by him, to belong to him completely. You nod, your body molding against his, your voice a whisper. “I’m yours. Completely yours.“
His heart nearly bursts at your words, your surrender and acceptance igniting a primal, possessive need in him that nearly takes his breath away. He leans in, his lips against your neck, his voice a low, ragged growl. “Say it again. Say you’re mine.“
You tilt your head slightly, giving him better access to your neck, your body melting against his. You feel a shiver of desire run down your spine at his words, his possessive tone sending a wave of heat through you. You let out a shaky breath, your voice a ragged whisper. “I’m yours. I belong to you, completely and utterly.“
Anakin’s eyes lock onto yours, the intensity and determination in his gaze making your breath hitch. His hands coming up to cup your face, his touch achingly gentle. “There are so many words I want to say to you,” he whispers, his voice thick with emotion. “Words that will never do justice to how I feel about you. You’re the air that I breathe, the thought that consumes me, the obsession that drives me to the brink of madness.“ He leans in closer, his forehead pressing against yours. "You’re the reason I feel alive, the reason I’ll do anything, give anything, to be with you.“ His hands move to your back, his body pressed against yours, the raw need and desire in him almost feral. “I’ve tried to fight it for years, to deny it, but I can't. I can't pretend anymore that I don't want you, that I don't need you. Because I do. I need you more than anything. I’m obsessed with you, completely and utterly obsessed. Living without you it's like not having a soul inside of my body.“
He pulls back slightly, his eyes burning into yours, the force of his emotions like a tidal wave washing over you. “I will do whatever it takes, I will risk everything, I will defy the universe itself, to keep you by my side. You’re mine, and I will never let you go. You’re my love, my every thought, my every dream, my entire existence.“
Your heart is pounding in your chest, the intensity and passion in his words, his voice sending a shiver down your spine. Your hands reach up, touching his face, your fingers tracing over his features gently. “Ani…“ You whisper, your voice thick with emotion. “I… I don’t know what to say. You… you make me feel things I’ve never felt before. You make me feel loved, wanted, desired… worshipped.“
He leans into your touch, his eyes closing as he savors the feeling of your fingers on his skin. A small, vulnerable smile tugs at the corners of his lips as he looks at you. “Say you’ll be mine,” he whispers, his voice gruff with emotion. “Say you’ll stay with me, that you’ll be my everything. I need to hear it, I need to know that you want this as much as I do.“
His vulnerability in that moment, so different from the fierce and possessive man he usually is, makes your heart pound even harder. You look into his eyes, seeing the love, the fear, the need in them. You never knew he was capable of such emotion, such passion. “I’ll stay with you,” you murmur, your voice soft yet filled with conviction. “I’ll be yours, yours completely. For as long as you’ll have me.“
He lets out a ragged breath, his body visibly relaxing as your words sink in. The fear, the doubt, that had been lurking in his eyes vanishes, replaced by something wild and primal, something that nearly takes your breath away. “Forever,” he whispers, his voice hoarse and fierce. “I want you forever. I need you forever. You’re mine now, and I’m never letting you go. Together, we will defy the odds, we will fight fate, we will prove that love, true love, can conquer all."
His lips brush against yours, soft and gentle at first, but quickly turning hungry and demanding. His body presses against yours, the heat of his desire like a fever burning through you. The world around you falls away, leaving only you and him, lost in a moment of complete and utter obsession and love. You’re his and he's yours, and nothing else matters.
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Maybe a clingy and needy joel x reader smut please 😊 he can't take his hands off her and he can't stop fucking her, thank you so much ❤
Answer me • Joel Miller
Request?: Yes
PAIRING: Joel Miller x f reader
GENRE: smut
WARNING: nsfw, unprotected sex, mention of drugs that's it tho, cursing oc
Masterlist coming someday
Enjoy
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It’s been a couple of hours and Joels hands were still All over you. Your sweaty bodies were pressed against each other as you kissed for what felt like the millionth time.
You were like a drug to Joel, the antidote to his life. He craved your soul and your body more than anything in this world. Joel couldn’t get enough of you especially after he’s been gone from you for a bit of time.
Joel pulled away from your lips.
“fuck, I can’t get enough of you.” He muttered to you. One His large hand gripped your right thigh as he prepared to enter your aching heat for the 3rd time that night. You hissed softly at his fingers coming in contact with the beard burns on your inner from the action earlier that night, but it was replaced with a gasp as he felt his tip against your core.
“fuck.” You whined. Your back arched off the bed.
Joel pressed his lips behind your ear before licking a strip up your neck.. you moaned softly at the feeling but fuck, you needed more of him so badly.
“Joel please fuck me.”
A rough chuckle came from Joel. “don’t worry I will.”
He pushed into you. Your pussy stretched at his length entering you. No matter how many times you have had sex with Joel you never adjusted it.
You moaned out in pleasure.
Joel hand left your thigh and turned to your breast. He twisted your pebbled nipple between his fingers making you hiss.
A couple seconds later his length pushed into you. Due to you already being sensitive from the other two orgasms your walls fluttered around him.
Thrust after thrust Joel filled you. You tired your best not to be too loud but the feeling was too good.
“you like that huh? Like when I fill your pretty pussy?” Joel whispered in your ear. You tried to answer but it was all too much for you.
“No! Answer me.” Joel demanded. “tell me if you like it.”
Just as you were about to choke out a yes, Joel somehow thrust into you faster than before.
“Fuck Joel.” Tears were spilling from your eyes. You were starting to feel Joel in your tummy. It wouldn’t be long before you were coming to your orgasm.
“still having answered me.” Joel hand Left your breast, his hand snaked down in between your legs to your clit. He drew circles on them.
You hissed. The knot was starting to grow in your lower stomach at everything that was happening.
“im not letting you come till you answer me. “you like when I fill you up, make you cum around my cock hm?”
“Fuck.” You squeezed your eyes shut and tried to find the words.
“y-yes! Yes I love it Joel.”
You came soon after those words spilled from your lips. Joel didn’t stop, instead he keep thrusting until he empty out in to you with a grunt.
Both your panting filled the room. Joel pulled out of you. You groaned at the emptiness but settled when you felt Joel’s soft kisses on your shoulders.
He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close against his body. You both stayed silent for a few minutes just soaking up the moment between you two.
After a while you decided you were going to get up. You pulled Joel’s arms away from you and got up.
“where you going.” Joel asked. “im going to the bathroom. Gotta use it.” You laughed as Joel gave you a disgusted look.
“ok hurry up.” He sighed pulling the thin sheets over his body “I need to cuddle you so I can sleep.”
“Ok” you snickered and walked out of the room to the bathroom to do your business so you can return quickly to your needy man.
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tinydefector · 4 months
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Do you think cybertronians every freak out with more "fragile " humans. I have EDS and it seems to effect my knees the most right now so I tend to fall due to them popping and giving out on me. I'm used to it by now and have gotten knee braces. Do you think any of the bots or cons would freak out if they saw a human fall and have to lay down for a while. I think I'd find it really funny while laying on the ground in pain lmao. Love your work by the way you write lovely !
Gods, I felt the knees too much mine dislocated, and atm I have one that's been causing me hell
________
I do think they would freak out the first few times. But after a while, they would start just going. "You good?" But also on that, I believe they would also find ways to help improve your movement. Mind you, I have a rather messed up knee and need a brace that has a locking mechanism in it in case my knee gives out on me. So I can see a lot of the Cybertronians trying to help make you more comfortable with gadgets to help. For example, if you have trouble walking, they will make you a more advanced brace, one that still assist and holds much better than the flimsy wires in the ones you get from the hospital.
The first time the bots hear your bones crack, it sends them into a panic, thinking you're breaking, and they have them rushing you to the medbay into the doctors servos, saying your dying because your body is creaking and cracking.
These guys love modifying things because they know humans can't simply replace limps like they can. So when you have an issue with one of the wheels on your wheelchair. They are straight away working on fixing it up, adding wheels with a lot more resistance to strain. Don't ask where they got the equipment. The bots try their best to be as accommodating as possible. A place doesn't have a ramp. They will lift you up the stairs. Even make it easier for you to get into their alt mode. It's simple little things, and they may not be a lot to them, but it makes life so much easier for you.
The medics also take it upon themselves to learn human medicine and body structure because after they hear you complain about how expensive health care is, they want to try and give you the best care they can. Which involves them making medicines, equipment, and services for you. Also, expect with any injuries that the bots are going to make you do a lot of physio to try and help you strengthen your joins the best it can. Tho they know each human is different, they do try their best to accommodate for you better than a lot of other humans do. To them, you are never a burden its always a delight for them to do something as simple as help you when you're in pain or having difficulty.
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manicpixiefelix · 9 months
Text
never wanted anything from you (except everything you had)
{ One-Shot AU for head, heart, hand. }
@saintbeau asked: I know you said in the Canon ending, up until a certain point, Oliver was planning to let the reader live. If he'd never decided to kill them, do you think they'd suffer a similar fate as Farleigh and be forced out? Or do you think there's ever a possibility of 'the pet coming with the house' so to speak? I think to a degree Oliver's yearning to take Felix's place could lead him to essentially slotting himself alongside the reader if they'd allow it.
Summary: After the death of your best friend and his sister, you can't bring yourself to stay at Saltburn, even when their grieving mother wishes you would. However, after several years away to process and grow, you find yourself back in touch with Oliver Quick, who's changed so much in the time you've spent apart. Fate certainly has a funny was of working out, so you're not entirely surprised to end up back at the place you'd once called home.
Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons. Oliver/Reader are endgame here.
Warnings: Very poor relationship with reader's parents. SALTBURN-CANON ENDING; Felix & Venetia are still dead, but we get a happy ending this time. Also not sure if it needs a warning but Oliver does admit to killing Felix.
A/N: 4162 words. This got away from me. this ends up being so painfully fluffy. it's VERY Oliver/Reader, Oliver's less of a bastardman and he doesn't kill Elspeth but her health is failing significantly like it does in the movie. i think i might have made him a better person as compared to the film, but it's still canon compliant mostly. it ends so fluffy and happy tho, i love it omg. AGAIN THIS IS NOT CANON TO head, heart, hand.
TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)
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There is no world where you stay where Oliver wins.
But there's a world where you leave, heart too heavy with grief, where you transfer from Oxford and spend time as an adult reconnecting with your own family, where he finds you again. Your parents don't respect you as family, but you're granted access to their lives, to be in their line of sight; you become almost like a live-in assistant who takes meals with them but for whom they show no outward affection.
It's all you have left.
You tell yourself it's enough.
"That Catton fellow offed himself," your father says it with such idleness, as if reporting the weather.
"Sir James?" You almost choke on your breakfast, and father peers down his nose at you over his morning paper, giving you a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.
"Yes, sorry, I forgot you knew him -"
"Surely it doesn't say that he offed himself," your mother frowned, tugging at the corner of the paper to try and get a look at the article. They bicker lightly, charmingly, in the middle of this cafe about the death of your best friend's father, and what the article is saying or implying, but you just wonder about Elspeth.
Later, when you search through old papers and memories and notebooks, you find the number for Saltburn and call. Duncan's voice is familiar, as is yours to him.
"Captain," the old nickname is so gentle on his tongue, the most gentle you'd ever heard him be about anything. Then, as quickly as you'd heard it, the gentleness is replaced with apology, letting you know that Elspeth is unavailable, but that you'd be welcome to attend Sir James' funeral. You know you'd never be able to bring yourself to attend.
It's Oliver who reaches out, deliberate, in the months that follow. It's slow going, too formal for how intimately, how messily you knew each other for those few months in the Spring and Summer. He apologises, says he saw you on the cover of a tabloid trailing a pair of aging socialites and looked further into it.
"You looked -" he tells you over dinner in the city, beautiful, settled, no more of his youthful awkwardness; it had only been a few years, but how glad you were to see him, "fucking miserable," he says so gently, taking your face in his hands. Oh fuck, you'd missed him, missed his touch, missed how clearly he could see you - you burst into tears in the restaurant.
Dating Oliver makes you feel like a whole new person, raw, relearning yourself, realising you'd been living like a ghost since you'd left Saltburn. Your hyper competency had needed an outlet and your parents had provided that, but you were barely a person, to them or to yourself. Now you were learning who you were, alone.
Quieter. More focused and driven in your professional endeavours. As dangerously charming as Farleigh ever was. The memory of Venetia peeking through in your wickedly sharp wit. An echo of Felix in the affection you carried with you, in your smile, in your laugh. A living ghost, learning to love and embrace the ways in which you were haunted, rather than grieving for them.
You spend nights in his little flat, take refuge from your own life in his, and Oliver's the one who informs you that Elspeth has moved into town, leaving Saltburn echoing and empty, if not for the skeleton crew that maintains it.
"She wants to see you," there's a strange look in his eyes when he says it, something conflicted, almost dark, but when you smile, he too lights up.
Elspeth holds you for a very long time. In the middle of a cafe in walking distance for your both it turns out, there's tears in her eyes, and a joyful smile, and she doesn't let you go even as Oliver goes and order you all drinks.
"So beautiful, you've always been so beautiful," she murmurs, long, elegant fingers feather light against your features, no care for propriety here, "you're so grown up." It's like she's trying to connect the person you are now with the memory she has of you. Tears are welling in your own eyes.
"I'm sorry I left, mum." There's a lump in your throat and her tears start to fall as she takes your face gently, cradling you against her, laughing through her bittersweet memories.
"I never blamed you, pet, never," she assures, voice wet with tears but reassuring nonetheless. Oliver sits down on your other side, wordlessly leaning into you both, resting his head on your shoulder. The three of you stay like that for a long moment. You can hear Elspeth sniffling quietly.
The moment breaks, she lets you go, and when you sit back up, Oliver takes your hand, lacing his fingers with yours and resting your joined hands on the table. Immediately Elspeth's eyes focus upon them, and she gives a warm smile to your both.
"I cannot believe you've found each other again," and she sounds so genuinely joyful, "it's funny how the universe works out." Oliver gives a faint, bashful smile, leaning into you, bumping your shoulder for a bit.
"I'm a lucky man," there's something wonderfully, desperately loving in his eyes when he looks at you in this moment. It is, to him, the total and complete truth. Before you're overwhelmed by your urge to kiss him, however, Elspeth continues.
"After all that's happened, I am glad luck, and life, have brought you both back to me; I was just saying to dear Ollie the other day," Elspeth rests her cool, well manicured hand on your free hand, sitting on the table, "the two of you should come stay at Saltburn again."
Something constricts in your throat, grip on Oliver's hand tightening momentarily.
"I know," Elspeth is quick to move her hand to your shoulder, seeing the way your expression changes, drops, "but that house still holds so much love for you, my dear pet," and she takes a deep, shaky breath, finally admitting, "and I can't bring myself to be there alone."
Looking to Oliver, he gives you a gentle smile, nothing but sweet warmth and reassurance; he's changed so much since Saltburn, so sweet, so sublime. That version of Oliver didn't know how to love you or Felix in a way that was good for any of you, you came to realise, but this Oliver, oh this Oliver had crafted himself a home in your heart with love you didn't think anyone other than Felix had been capable of.
"It can be our home again," he murmurs, a sentiment Elspeth echoes like she hadn't even realised that was what she had wanted from you both;
"It can be your home again."
The drive to Saltburn feels like a memory, of young laughter and loud music and Summer sweat whipped away by the wind in Felix's convertible. The car you'd chosen to take with you is far more sensible, but still relatively ostentatious, and when you ask Oliver to drive, he of course obliges you. Still, the music is loud, and the day is warm, and even if the two of you are quiet, there's still a warm hand on your knee.
And you still feel loved.
Saltburn creaks and echoes with familiarity.
The doors open, and though you don't recognise the footmen either side of the entrance, you certainly recognise Duncan. He's older, of course, as are you. There's a touch of grey by his temples, and he's paler than you remember, but still prim, still gaunt and haunting -
"Mister Quick," until his eyes fall on you, and he softens almost imperceptibly, but you see it, you hear it in his voice, "and Captain Y/N," almost like it's an in-joke between you both by now.
"It's good to see you, Duncan," you tell him sincerely, and for the briefest moment he actually smiles.
"And you as well."
Everything's the same, just as Elspeth had assured you both. Everything's the same, just as when you'd left. Fled. Alone all those years ago.
Coming back, hand in hand with Oliver, it feels surreal.
Grand foyer, red staircase, secluded alcove that you and Venetia used to tease Felix about regarding his 'accidental' bout of cousin fingering, Henry Seventh's cabinet, the arch Felix claimed his grandmother haunted, the Green Room, gardens through the windows, Rubens that Felix never cared for but you had always appreciated. Still broken piano. Blue Room; still blue. The King's bedroom, not that you cared for Henry the Eighth, but Felix always liked to bring it up. The long gallery. Portraits of Cattons you had never cared for. Shakespeare's folios that you and Felix had spent a Winter going through, just to brag that you had, without realising how few people would care.
Sir James' teddy was absent from it's usual chair. Something about that makes something ache in your chest, just a little. So you look away, to the maze beyond the windows that you never want to go in again.
You know this house, this route, like the back of your hand even now. Oliver holds your hand tightly as you rest your hand on the intricate doorknob of the midnight blue door that you both remember so well.
"Are you okay?" Oliver's voice is quiet, is reverential, as you hesitate. Nodding once, you push open the door.
It still smells like Felix. His things are still here, still a bit of a mess. Books and knickknacks and photos. His wardrobe door is still ajar, the way you know you left it when you'd been scrambling to pack your own garments when you'd last been here, and his clothes still hang there, frozen, a moment in time.
It aches, but it doesn't... hurt. Not like you thought it would. It almost seems silly, to have this preserved for so long.
"Can we stay in here, Duncan?" You call out, knowing he must be around somewhere, he always was.
"I thought you might," Elspeth's gentle voice from the doorway makes you and Oliver both jump. But she's smiling at you both, and once the shock has worn off, you can't help but laugh. It sets you all off, laughing warmly, fondly, all three in Felix's perfectly untouched room.
Elspeth does, however, let you know that they've had the bathroom redone. She doesn't say it's because of Venetia, but you're quietly grateful nonetheless. You don't know if you could bring yourself to bath in there if all you could think about was Venetia's blood across the bathroom floor. It's different now.
When you try out the new tub, still claw-footed, still deep and soothing, there comes a knock at the door you'd left ajar out of habit.
"Mind if I join you?" It's Oliver, with a teasing little smile and hope in his eyes. He does not wait at the door like you know he once had, he is bold, he is unapologetic, he is confident in his love. Enthusiastically you wave him over, delighted to create new, better memories in this bathroom that no longer resembles the one you know.
There's still this strange kind of divide; Oliver, at times, still acts like a guest. Saltburn's been your home for too long for you to feel uncomfortable within it's walls, but Oliver's still always asking permission. For everything. He asks if he can borrow some of Felix's old clothes and looks relieved when you look at him like it's an absurd request.
"He's not going to be wearing them."
Elspeth gets this look in her eyes whenever she recognises any of Felix's clothes on Oliver, fond and nostalgic as she tells him she's glad they're no longer gathering dust.
"Beautiful clothes for a beautiful boy," she liked to say.
It takes you a few weeks to realise Elspeth's ulterior motives. Her health is failing. She has no family left. She needs people. As Oliver had pointed out so long ago, you were both desperate to be needed. Much like when you were younger, your own parents had no qualms about you living your life at Saltburn without them; they'd hire another assistant. The email they'd sent back to you did however note that you had been the best assistant either of them had ever had. It's the nicest thing they'd ever said to you.
Elspeth speaks to you alone one morning during the fall, the grounds turning all shades of golds and oranges.
"I..." your thoughts are moving too fast, her offer was so simple yet so overwhelming, "can't take Saltburn." A deep sigh escapes her, and she looks out over the grounds, but pets your knee, "I won't leave," you try to placate her, "you, or Saltburn, if you'd like me to stay; I'll be like Duncan -" this gets her to laugh, fond and bright, "but I think it will complicate things with my own family."
She tells you she understands. Her voice is getting weaker by the day. Then, after another long moment of gentle silence and contemplation, she speaks carefully.
"And Oliver?"
Part of you kind of knew this was coming.
"He might love Saltburn more than me," you admitted with a chuckle, "and he loves you dearly, you know that right?"
"He's such a strange, beautiful creature," Elspeth muses fondly, "I don't know if James even looked at me the way he looks at you," she smiles at you, expression turning soft and nostalgic for just a moment, "Felix used to look at you like that, didn't he?"
"In his own way," you agreed, unable to look her in the eyes while knowing exactly what she meant, exactly what she could see in this moment.
"They say we have more than one soulmate in our lives, pet," she says softly, reassuringly, and you look up once more. There's gentle hope and fragments of old grief that wrap around your heart as she continues, giving your knee a faint squeeze, "I think you're one of the lucky ones."
And your mind settles back on Oliver, how good, how kind, how loving he's been in the year since you'd reconnected. Finally, you're able to smile.
"I think so too."
Oliver seems genuinely surprised when you and Elspeth approach him with the offer. He keeps looking at you, confused. All you can do is smile, assure him that you want Saltburn to be in his name.
"I'm not abandoning you," you laugh, "I'll be here as long as you'll have me, help take care of any paperwork or maintenance or, well, calling people to take care of those things."
"They're a good house pet," Elspeth actually teases, while Oliver is still silent, looking at you in awe. He stutters through a verbal agreement, and Elspeth delightedly says she'll get the contract drawn up in the next few days.
"Why me?" Oliver finally asks, and Elspeth stands, wrapping her arms around him in a hug.
"You've worked hard all your life, Ollie, I can see that in you," she murmurs, "and you loved the ones so dear to me. I know you will love this home, and my darling Y/N, and one day I know it will be a family home again."
Oliver is quiet during supper, he keeps looking at you with this unreadable expression, almost grateful, but somehow intrigued. There's something lighter about him now, less tension carried in his shoulders, a small smile he can't quite get rid of. After you all eat, he offers you his arm and asks you to stroll the grounds in the moonlight.
"I thought it'd be you," his voice is so soft. The moon makes him glow. He's wearing the pale, linen shirt of Felix's that catches the light so beautifully.
"I could tell," you can't help but smirk, gently ribbing him. When he laughs, it almost sounds disbelieving.
"Saltburn was your home first."
"Saltburn is a place," you tell him, "my home was always the people in it."
"Felix was your home," he remembers when you'd told him that, how wide Felix had smiled when he'd heard it.
"And now," you're surprised by how your voice catches as you realise what you're about to say, "it's you."
"You love me," Oliver turns with wide, adoring eyes, while you can't help your shy smile.
"Of course I love you, you know I love you -"
"You love me-love me," he sounds like he's discovered the meaning of life, like he can see it in your eyes. Then, very suddenly, a whole new realisation seemed to wash over him, "I think I actually want to spend the rest of my life with you."
Oh! Is this -?
"I don't have a ring, fuck-!" Before he can get any further, you're kissing him, wrapping your arms around him, desperate to make him taste how much you fucking love him. Giddy and burning with desire, you feel like a teenager again, overwhelmed with delight and affection in this old house you call a home.
When you suggest that you meet his parents, properly this time, Oliver makes a face like he's bitten a lemon. It's a beautiful, cool mid-morning at the beginning of Winter, grey light reaching through the curtains to caress you and your fiancé, wrapped up in Egyptian cotton sheets.
"I've met them before," you remind him gently, hand splayed out across his chest as he looks at the ceiling, "I don't hold that Summer against you."
"Felix stopped... trusting me," his voice barely breaks a whisper, "he stopped loving me because of them," it trembles, catching, and you see tears in his eyes. A flush was rising up his cheeks, grief and a strange kind of fury overwhelming him it seemed, much to your surprise, "you should hold that Summer against me, should hate me, should -" it's spilling from him now, with such speed, such anger that it's almost frightening.
"Ollie, love -"
"I wasn't in my right mind, I was sick and obsessed and- and- and I can't believe I hurt you like that -"
"What are you talking about?"
Through his tears, his grief, his outburst, Oliver threw his arm over his face, unable to look at you, unable to look at anything in this room he now seemed to regret being in.
"I just wanted him to love me too," Oliver choked out, "I know you tried to help me - I can't believe I hurt you, I know you loved him - but I didn't want him to love anyone if he didn't love me."
"Oliver."
"I put the cocaine in his wine. I gave him the bottle. I left him there."
To your surprise, as much as the news hurts, it comes in a dull wave of grief, not the sharp, stinging kind you were braced for. What you don't expect is the sympathy that wells up inside of you for the man who just admitted to killing your best friend.
But you had spent years grieving for Felix, had come to terms with it, made peace with it. It's a shock to the system, of course, to learn he was murdered, but you can see the hurt, the guilt that Oliver had been carrying with him, and knows how it feels to be overwhelmed with love for Felix Catton to the point where you'd do unspeakable things with him in your heart. You'd ruined lived over one-word insults spat in his direction because that was who you were, that was what you did.
And you knew Oliver Quick, who he was, how he operated, the kind of desperate jealousy and need to be needed that became dangerous or perverse when they went unsated. Neither of you were the people you once were.
Carefully, you drape yourself over Oliver as he wept, wrapping him up tightly in a hug with one arm, other reaching up to brush through his dark, messy hair.
"Loving Felix makes us do terrible things," you murmur softly, fingers carding through his hair, "you took someone special from this world, but we can't change that."
"Why the fuck are you being so nice right now?" Oliver groans, voice full of disbelief, "I just told you -"
"You loved Felix and he stopped loving you back; you were drunk, and obsessive, and out of your mind with some psychosexual desire. You killed the man you loved, that we loved," you recount firmly, and he quiets down, still sniffling, "do you regret it?"
"Yes," he whispers.
"Are you lying?"
A long pause follows.
"I don't know."
"Did you ever stop loving him?"
"I don't think I ever will," then, moving his arm, he reaches out for your face, gently cupping your jaw. His eyes are bright red, smudged tear tracks shining on his cheeks, "I don't think you will either." You shake your head, confirming as much, before you turn your face and press a kiss to his palm.
"You're not that same person, Oliver, neither am I. The version of me from that Summer might never forgive the Ollie that killed Fi, but I know you now, and I know you love me, and you'll love this house, and the memory of Felix, just like I will."
"Why are you so good to me?"
"Because you're not a saint, and you're not a devil. You can't change the past. You're just a human, full of flaws, but you're better than you used to be, I know."
"I love you." He coaxes you forward, bringing you in for a passionate, messy kiss, murmuring against your lips, "I love you, I love you, I love you."
Still, you keep this revelation between the two of you. Elspeth never needed to know.
It was a small ceremony at the beginning of Spring on the grounds of the Saltburn Estate. Elspeth was barely able to get out of bed anymore, so the location was more for her sake than anything else. She'd insisted on taking the reigns for planning the wedding though, looking through folders and magazines with you and Oliver at her bedside.
A beautiful flower archway, Duncan officiating, and only your families as guests. At your suggestion and reassurance, Oliver had worked hard to repair his relationship with his family.
"You don't have to lie about being important anymore," you'd smirked at him, "you're inheriting the Saltburn Estate, you're marrying into my family; you're Oliver Quick, that means something."
Oliver's family had marvelled at the estate the minute they arrived at the property; his sisters and their partners seemed shocked and delighted.
"Is this your place?" One had asked you, eyes bright and incredulous as you and Oliver were giving them all the tour.
"Ollie's actually," you give him arm a squeeze as you give him a proud smile, watching as he ducks his head, flush with embarrassment.
"This is you house, Ollie?! What the fuck!?" Another shouted, even as her own partner laughed while asking her to tone it down.
Before the wedding even begins, his oldest sister has talked him into letting she and her children visit in the Summer.
It comes as a surprise when your own parents show up, though you suspect it's because Elspeth personally called to invite them, not because of you. They too are impressed by the house, but less so than the Quicks; they'd been there for gatherings in years past, after all.
When your grandmother arrives, however, that's when it all becomes real for you. Unlike your parents, she dotes on you. Your grandfather had been the head of the business when he'd been alive; your grandmother was a dedicated professional, but always a romantic at heart, which is where your mother claimed to have gotten her artistic proclivities from.
Oliver says you have the same, beautiful eyes, and she chuckles.
"He's a charmer, I see," she teases, but wraps him up in a hug. "You be good to them, Mister Quick," your grandmother tells him in a faux-stern voice as she leans out of the hug, "we're the kind of family you don't want to get on the wrong side of." Despite how she's waving a finger at him and doing her best angry glare, Oliver can't help but cast you a fond smile, wrapping an arm around you.
"I'm aware, ma'am; every day I feel lucky to have Y/N by my side."
This seems to sate your grandmother, who pets his cheek fondly, and tells you that you've got a good one.
"I think so too."
It's a beautiful, perfect day, the best day of your life so far, where the worst day is now but a mere memory. All that matters is Oliver Quick, and the love in his eyes as he looks at you, as he promises you;
"This house will be full of people who love you for the rest of your life."
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gremlingottoosilly · 1 year
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I am imagining a reader who is Konig's little wifey becoming dangerous when it comes to protecting her pets. Like Konig has to rush home as an enemy is at his house and by the time he gets there,the screams aren't coming from his innocent little wife,no,on the floor is a grown man who has all of the steak knives impaled in his legs and hands,his tiny wife fussing over their pet (who is way too spoiled ) going "Its okay baby,mommy took the meanie who kicked you down so daddy can handle the rest,oh whose a good girl hmm?"
Omg yes!! This is perfect scenario right here!! This really sounds like something I would implement in If you need to be mean because I LIVE for this type of absurd scenarios. Reader either owns one of the crusties little dogs alive or that one big mean cat that hates literally everyone. Konig is intimidated and a bit scared by pets - he never had one growing up, Father too strict to allow pets and his mother too tired to clean up after them, so our man only got exposure to them in the army, with K-9 all around. He isn't on best terms with animals, but he would find us the perfect pet if we asked. He can learn to live with them, just...I can imagine this very embarrassing scenario where he can't even get in the mood for sex because the [et is watching and it makes him embarrassed about his performance. Konig would literally worship us for how well we performed against attacker tho. He would be scared at first, of course, his precious darling could cut herself(or the devil spawn of a pet) on a knife she was using!! She could get hurt from overpowering grown men like the enemy, she needs to lie down! He is even more intimidated by the pet now, knowing how fiercely protective you are about it. You basically replaced a kid with a pet and, honestly, he isn't the one to complain. Maybe a little bit.
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dashitsxx · 6 months
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i'll wait for your love | gojo satoru x fem!reader | (I)
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summary. If only you had given attention to the emotions your boyfriend felt in your relationship, it would have never reached to this point.
genre. angst. sfw.
word count. 1.4k
warnings. modern au. messy plot. in an established relationship. toxic relationship. toxic!gojo. mean!gojo. toxic!reader. prob workaholic!reader. inconsiderate behaviour. mentions of actions of neglect/abandonment (reader). invalidation of feelings (reader & gojo). fighting. mentions of past arguments. cursing. yelling/shouting. a bit of egoistic behaviour (reader). miscommunication. abrupt toxic break-up. party. light drinking.
disclaimer. Please note that this work is entirely fictional. It is not intended to condone, glorify, or encourage any form of violence, illegal activity, or harmful behaviour. All characters (credits to the manga artists), scenarios, and events are products of the author's imagination and/or used in a fictional manner. Any resemblance to actual persons or real events is purely coincidental. The purpose of this work is to entertain and provoke thought, not to promote harmful behaviour.
notes. ngl, i love ariana's eternal sunshine :(( it's her best album, i fear! her songs are so pretty especially this one--but i might have probably used the painful interpretation in this song, but i kind of didn't like the plot i thought tho... but anw, have fun!! also, there might be a possibility of continuation of this one-shot. not sure about it yet :))
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"You know what? Fuck you," Satoru cursed at you aggressively as he stormed out of the living room. Your jaw dropped, taken back by what your partner said. Did he just curse you? He did. He just told you to go off. You feel your blood boiling, you cocked your jaw as you pursued his steps to the bedroom.
You push the door open forcefully as Gojo sits on the bed with his head in his hands.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" You questioned him firmly with crossed arms. However, he didn't give any response to you while you waited. Annoyance soared through your body as you spoke in the same emotion you were currently feeling, "Do you have a problem with me? Talk to me, Gojo. You are really pissing me off!"
A huge snort left Gojo's lips as he lifted his head, tilting it in the process. " 'What's wrong with me?' That's what you are asking? God, Y/N," he vexes at you. This time, your expression transforms into confusion, which makes your boyfriend feel exasperated. "You really don't know?"
He turns his head away from you while your expression remains unchanged. "It's always like this, isn't it? You don't even know…" A sudden pang shoots through your chest as you hear a trembling tone in his voice. What does he mean? You wonder. What have you done wrong? You walk closer to him but keep a certain distance. "Please, Satoru, talk to me."
Another snort leaves his lips and looks up at you, behind his bright ocean eyes were burning in rage red flames. He was angr—no, furious.
"You are so unbelievable. I can't even imagine why I am still dating you."
Your current emotional state was abruptly replaced by a look of shock, causing your mouth to hang open and your eyes to widen. The corner of your lips twitched as you exclaimed, "Why are you getting so angry at me for no reason? What's wrong with you?" Your voice rose in volume as you spoke.
"For no reason?!" Gojo stood up abruptly, deathly glaring into your eyes. "I am fucking infuriated because of you!"
"Then, what the hell did I do? I have never done anything wrong!"
"Yes, you did!"
"What is it?!"
"You abandoned me!"
Pain flashed through your eyes as the tension brewed more bitter in the atmosphere. Stinging silence surged between the both of you, but a heave of breaths sounded in the room. What did he mean?
"I—w-what?" You stutter, yet your boyfriend sarcastically chuckles. "Remember the time when I booked us for dinner? I waited for 2 hours, but you never came. Why? Work. Oh, how about the other time when I asked you to pick me up? Another 2 hours wasted, again. Why again? Work again! What a world record!" His hands turn into fists as veins pop off underneath his skin.
"Also, the time when I fucking needed you the most because I was going through something—where were you? Over at the club, having fun with you coworkers and just getting fucking wasted, just for me to bring you back home." There was a bitter taste present in his voice.
You shake your head as you approach him carefully. "I-I never mean—" But he cuts you off and dares to continually speak.
"By the way, I love the part where you just went batshit crazy on me for no reason last week! I love the time you stormed out and ignored me for the whole day while in the same house. I love it, really. Now, who is being unreasonable between us?" Gojo gives you a full hand clap as if you have achieved something innovative. A puzzled expression was displayed on your face, you didn't know how to react or what to say. You didn't know Gojo was feeling this way, well, he should have told you sooner then.
You opened your mouth shakily and asked, "Why didn't you tell me before?"
A loud, ridiculing sound escaped Satoru's lips. "It's because you never listened," he gritted through his teeth. This time, you rolled your eyes. "I would have listened if you had told me sooner."
He placed his hands on his waist, making a mocking face and said, "Well, I tried! And you never did! Because you are so focused on your stupid work!" You noticed his voice raising in volume and his words made your blood boil hotter. "Stupid work? I work because I want us to live a life where we do not have to worry about money! I work for us to have food on the table! Are you not proud I do that for you, for us?!"
"I don't even give a shit about the money!"
"But I do! I want to live a comfortable life!"
"But how about me? Have you ever thought about my feelings, Y/N?! My feelings."
You clamp your mouth shut and bite the insides of your cheek, unsure what to say. The once-forgotten silence lingers once again. A sudden urge to escape emerged in you and honestly, you were tired of this arguing with Satoru. With that, you let out a defeated sigh.
"I don't want to talk anymore, Satoru. Come on, let's go to bed. We can talk about it tomorrow morning," you attempt to persuade him, yet your boyfriend widens his enchanting eyes in disbelief. He couldn't believe you.
Satoru gave a sarcastic laugh as he mutters the word, 'unbelievable.' This only made you frown as you walked closer to him. You reach your arm out to touch him, but before you are even an inch closer, he aggressively slaps it away. Your jaw dropped open at his action and this time—something in you snapped.
Shouts after shouts echoed in the room, bursting in anger. Words were thrown against each other. The stress accumulated from the relationship and work got the best of you.
"I'm done with you. I'm fucking leaving you," Gojo walks out of the bedroom and you sit down on the bed, placing your head in your hands. "Go on then, like I care." You utter under your breath. You were so exhausted and your throat was feeling sore because of the yells you voiced out a while ago.
A huge bang reverberated throughout the entire house, which indicated that your boyfriend left the house. You lift your head before a tired sigh escapes your lift. You didn't want to deal with all the stress you are currently feeling instead you brushed it off by settling yourself into bed. You figured that Satoru would be back in the morning.
However, you were wrong.
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A year later...
You take a sip of your wine as you give a huge grin towards the capturing camera, flashing brightly in your direction. You giggled as your friends cracked a laugh. Conversations continued before you informed them to leave for some breeze.
There were some hazy-looking objects as you tipsily walked, the wine glass being supported by the hold of your hand. It took you a while to find a room with a balcony til you encountered an open door. Currently, you were invited to an event hosted by your company in a 5-star hotel. You were definitely enjoying the night you deserved. However, you got a bit carried away with your alcohol intake.
Your heels clack against the floor as you enter the empty room before proceeding to the balcony. You sigh in contentment once the wind brushes your face, your hair dancing with it. You lift your head up to stare at the gleaming light between the vast ocean of darkness and luminary clusters. The moon had a very light shade of blue around its rim as your eyes continuously gazed at it.
You leaned your arms on the railings of the balcony. No matter how you try to push them to the back of your mind, even the celestial body reminds you of him. That darn white and blue shade, you curse.
Nevertheless of your daydreaming of missing him, progressive footsteps vibrate through the ground, which you had not given attention to.
Until they spoke, "Y/N."
Your eyes widened at the familiar voice behind you as you turned your body to find the source of the voice you were now facing upfront. A disbelief expression replaced the tranquillity you felt a while ago. You feel your body nervously shake at the figure in front of you, not in fear but in anxiety. You shakily move your mouth as you utter the name you have never attempted to leave your lips.
"Satoru."
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all dividers are from @/cafekitsune, thank you <33
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polaris-stuff · 2 months
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I get hating the arc with Nexus, I do too, but I'm honestly somehow more disappointed with Old Moon's return. Everything is normal. That's it, we're back to some status quo. Ignore the fact that Moon has said it's been like an hour for him, and the last thing he remembers is his family falling apart. Don't worry about how he somehow is a better brother now, don't worry that most of his main flaws are gone, the best version of Moon was always the original, ignore all the time's Sun has projected onto New Moon about this Moon's negative traits.
(I am salty we lost New Moon to this. Don't care what Dark Sun is doing, Nexus bothers me so much because why did everyone give up on him so fast.)
Sorry for ranting you make a lot of good points.
It's okay 🥺💖 Ty for saying I make good points, it makes me happy <33
I still don't believe that anyone in the family is actively not wanting to know what is happening or what happened with Nexus. I think the only ones who know that Nexus was launched into space are Sun and Old Moon, (plus Monty, Ruin and Puppet, but they are not part of the family tho).
It's just weird.
"Our brother started acting strange and hiding things from us, we confronted him but he said mean things so we instantly decided not to do anything else for him." (????
And that was just before Nexus almost killed Earth. There I completely agree with Earth for not wanting to know more about him, but it still saddens me to see how the family replaced him so quickly. New Moon was a good brother, probably the best brother Sun has ever had outside of Earth or Lunar, but something strange happens with him and Sun immediately thinks "Moon can hurt us." When New Moon has never had a history of violence against any of his family. New Moon LOVED his family SO MUCH.
And Sun saying "all Moons are toxic"? Sun, New Moon was nothing more than a loving and caring brother who cared about you, why is he suddenly toxic? Because "he grieved in the wrong way"? Because apparently everyone moved on with their lives after Solar's death but New Moon was the most devastated by that? You saw him cry his heart out in your arms until he fell asleep and even after that you only get jealous because Moon called Solar "his brother"?
Ah, and until Sun and Old Moon found out that Nexus was working with Dark Sun, Sun was thinking the whole time that New Moon was floating in space and didn't make a single effort to know if he was okay there (because, btw, machines in space freeze until they are useless, New Moon could have died there, animatronics are not built like NASA rockets to withstand the radical temperatures of space).
Anyway, the family has me disappointed. Even before the whole problem of wanting to kill Earth happened, they had already given up on New Moon.
"You can't force help on someone who doesn't want help." YES YOU CAN. Especially when it comes to a loved family member!! If New Moon didn't want help, them as his family should force him to take it! No letting him sink deeper and deeper into his loneliness until he snapped. Seriously, it worries me how much this fandom uses self-care as an excuse to not help others.
Sorry I ended up rambling, but tysm for the ask. I continue to hope that all this is the fault of a virus and that New Moon will be rescued one day because if not, the whole year we spent getting to know him was for nothing.
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howtofightwrite · 27 days
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I’m gonna be honest, I’m not very good at numbers and visualizing how much power is needed to do something, so I felt it would be good to ask you.
How much force/how strong would a character need to be in order to cut off a hand as quickly as possible? For context, my character in a scene is being infected with a sort of symbiote, and quickly tries to hack it off before infection reaches the brain. It’s also not in an apocalyptic environment, they have access to medical equipment. (that bill is gonna make their pockets cry tho)
This is one of those times when it's about having the right tool, not about the effort. A fire axe should take off their hand pretty efficiently with one quick blow. Now, I'm not sure how well they could do this on their own, or if they'd really need an ally to lop off their hand. I'm pretty sure you could get it done with a machete, though probably not as easily. I'd also wonder about an old-school paper cutter. There's a lot of industrial equipment that will happily lop off an unwanted limb, though, keeping it intact after removal is a different topic entirely.
Surgically reattaching the hand could be a bit of work. Assuming no magical medical technology, replacing the hand isn't a simple process. The original hand needs to be in good condition (and I'm assuming, symbiote free.) You can't fully repair the nerve connections in the severed appendage, so, while there's going to be some use of the hand, it's never going to be back at 100% (again, assuming there's no magical way to regenerate the nerve endings), age is a factor here, children have a better chance of regaining more functionality, but for an adult, it's going to be imperfect at best.
I've never interacted with someone who's undergone replantation, but, from experiences in the past with friends who had suffered nerve damage in their limbs, I'd expect numbness in some parts of the hand (or the entire hand, potentially), and limited manual dexterity. (It's possible some fingers or joints simply wouldn't work anymore.)
Additional surgical procedures may be needed, particularly for nerve grafting and adjusting tendons. In some cases the reattached limb needs to be removed and replaced with a prosthetic due to chronic pain.
Replantation technology will probably improve over into the future. But, at least presently, your character would still have a permanent injury, that impaired the use of that hand from that point forward. It's not a situation where you can glue your hand back on.
-Starke
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moons-of-dewclan · 8 months
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HOW TO RESET YOUR CLAN TO EARLIER MOON
(another case of 'one person asked, i deliver) ok first, you sort of can't. YOU GOTTA RESTART with a 'new' clan and transfer! SECONDLY, this may be more complicated than it needs to be bc i don't know how to do things simply. i'm trying my best tho. THIS IS HOW I'VE DONE IT. i recommend watching videos or reading up on how to 'edit files' bc this isn't exhaustive. IT REALLY HELPS IF YOU KNOW HOW TO MESS WITH THE FILES. this is SUPPLEMENTAL KNOWLEDGE FIRST!! save a backup of your clan files (The JSON FILE, AND CLAN FOLDER) in case you make a whoopsie and destroy your code. READ THIS ALL BEFORE TRYING. i'll be noting some things that are MAKE OR BREAK. literally. make ur code or break your code IN THIS EXAMPLE, i'm going back to moon 15 for Dewclan from moon 50, and I'm going to pretend there are only 4 cats- Lyre, Vanilla, Nettle and Spark. I'll refer the clan you want to set back as the 'Canon' clan, and the one you're going to be rewinding to as the 'Rewound' clan! THEN HERE WE GOOOOO FIRST, NEW CLAN. pick the same mode as the clan you're trying to 'Rewind'.
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NAME IT WHATEVER. you'll change it later..
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Pick those cats. i like to pick the minimum necessary. but it doesn't really matter, as you're going to more or less be copypasting your old cats into this 'Rewound' clan.
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START IN THE SAME PLACE. and in the same SEASON that your Canon clan started in. I started Dewclan in Leafbare. do not choose the season that's taking place on the moon you want to rewind to. the one you STaRted on. (you're going to choose what moon you're on later in settings. this keeps the progression consistent. if you started in leafbare, but choose greenleaf for the Rewound clan, 15 moons in, you'll be on a different season than your Canon clan would be bc your starting point was different. even if i'm not explaining that well just do it i promise LAKSNNDKS)
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WOW THESE AREN'T MY BABIES. ok time to kill or delete three of these suckers bc i only need four cats. BYE GUYS
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also go into your settings. MAKE EVERYTHING HOW YOU WANT IT. general, role, etc. AND THEN CLICK THAT 'OPEN DATA DIRECTORY'. this is where stuff gets GOING
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click here.. saves
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NOW, BELOW!! the folders, it'll have a JSON file with your Rewound clan name. THIS IS IMPORTANT. there are things in here that you need to change. some require you to peek at your cats, and some don't. We'll get to it later! FOR NOW, click the folder above this that says your Rewound clan name! mine is 'DewAGAIN'
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THEN YOU GOT ALL THE JUICY STUFF
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CLICK CLAN CATS. AND LOOK BELLLOOOW. we're gonna transfer our beloved babies over. i recommend you copy from "name_prefix" to "favourite": false in the Canon clan (keep their ID number from this Rewound clan the same. don't replace it with their ID number from the Canon clan), then select all that info in the Rewound clan and paste it to overwrite. and then adjust what you need to. AND YOU WILL NEED TO ADJUST I HIIIGHLY recommend leaving the ID numbers and pasting Canon leader info into Rewound leader info. med cat into med cat. deputy into deputy. Rewound clan leader is ID 20? paste your Canon clan leader info info 20. keep Canon clan's number as 20.
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SOME OF THESE ARE VERY IMPORTANT. 1. ID NUMBER. if your cat has any relationships, like parents or mates, you need these numbers to match those cats. ALSO if your cat has a specific role, like medicine cat, leader, mediator or deputy, their number needs to match the number designated in the CLAN JSON info shown in the next image. FOR NOW I CONTINUE. 2. IMPORTANT NUMBERS. Sparkplug (her name isn't rly sparkplug btw)'s parent is Lyrestar. Lyre's ID number is 1. if that ID number doesn't match or doesn't exist in this game, you'll get an error! Same goes for mentors and mates. at moon 15, Spark wouldn't have these. But if i transferred her from moon 50 where she did, I'll have to replace the mate/mentor/whatever will 'null', etc, shown here. make sure everything here is relevant to moon 15, and not moon 50! 3. IF your cat was dead when you copypasted, change that! Dead?? FALSE. from dead 'true'.. ... where did 4 and 5 go..- ANYWAY 6. EXPERIENCE. make sure you drop this back to where it was at that moon. lest your kit graduate to warrior bc they have 3000 experience. 7. FALLS INTO 2. do they have an apprentice in the Canon clan that they wouldn't have in the rewound clan? gET RID OF EM. (you can copypaste that portion from a cat without an apprentice or just rewrite it as 'null', but sometimes i type things wrong and get errors so.. i copypaste. just make sure you're copying and pasting from the right start and end point.) IF YOUR CAT HAD AN APPRENTICE IN MOON 15, AND NOT 50.. you can either just set them as mentor and apprentice ingame manually, or write it into the code. i would do it manually tho bc i'm easily confused
NOW WE GET INTO WHERE THE CLAN JSON IS IMPORTANT.
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ABOVE ARE MARKED, IMPORTANT THINGS. some will break the game if you don't do it right. SO 1. Name. You can change this later, to your Canon clan name. You need to also change the FOLDER name to match. The folder that you click to get to your 'Clan Cats' files and stuff. YOU WILL HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR CANON CLAN FOLDER NAME AND FILE NAME TO SOMETHING ELSE or it'll corrupt! 2. HERE you change to the moon you want to rewind to. I'd change mine, to 15! season changes along with the moon number automatically. 3. INSTRUCTOR. this is the cat that leads your cats to starclan. predead. dw about it, unless you've messed with the dead cat and want to change it to your old starclan guide. then change the number, to your guide's ID number. You'll see it in the Clan Cats folder! LEADER. you need to change this to your clan leader's number or the files get confused. this is why i recommend replacing Rewound leaders with leaders, deputies with deputies, etc, and not also pasting the old numbers. the numbers are already set. ALSO this is where the leader's lives are dictated! DEPUTY. same as above! MED CAT.... SAME. but also, if you have multiple, add multiple! 4. You can change these names to the Canon names. if you had more or less other clans, you can delete or add more. just make sure to have the same number of clans as 'relations' and 'temperaments'! four clans, for traits and temperaments. 5 clans, 5 traits and temperaments. FINAL PAIN IN THE ARSE is.. having to adjust relationships. bc your 'new' clan won't have established relationships. you gotta go in and adjust the values. it sucks big ass but i don't know a better way to do it snff..
QUICK TIP if you absolutely don't want romance between two unrelated cats bc it would be weird for story reasons, you can change their status in the relationships file change family: false, to family: true. the game thinks they're related and romance won't happen HAHAHAAAAA .. at least in my experience. if this is wrong i'll cry
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You're not alone, Y/N.
König x reader (y/n)
Dealing with our own minds can be exhausting and overwhelming, we don't have to do it alone and König knows it.
Warning ⚠️: mentions of mental health, anxiety and depression (my own description about how I experience them, I understand is different for everybody), grammatical and spelling errors.
📢 Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.
The credits of the image used goes to the Pinterest user: Bc_its_Rengoku. I am not very sure if she's the creator tho.
Note: I hope this story helps someone out there, I've been having a hard time and my psychologist recommended me to find a support network or a friend who can help me. And to be honest, To think about someone supporting me and being my safe place even if it's a fictional character has been helpful. If you're struggling with your mental health, if you're having a hard time I hope you know you're not alone, I hope you know you're stronger than your thoughts and every dark moment you're going through has an end, I'm proud of you for continuing trying.
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It's early, too early, you know you have to leave the bed and get ready. But you can't, it was a long night for you, the thoughts and memories, the overthinking wave arrived unexpectedly, your body feels heavy as a rock, your hands are tense, you've been trembling all night, breathing heavily, crying and sobbing uncontrollably, your anxiety wants you to stand up and run away but your depression says you have to stay and rot In your bed.
You found the strength to send a message to one of your teammates, to inform him that you wouldn't be able to work, you made an emergency appointment with your doctor telling him you would need to adjust your medication because it's not working well lately.
Your teammate will replace you in the next missions while you recover, « Don't worry, I get it » that's all he said, you try to take a shower before your appointment with your medic, it has been hard, exhausting so you finally could take a nap.
Meanwhile the rest of your teammates are in the meeting room to talk about little details about the mission, König notices your absence.
- Does Someone know where Y/n is?
Suddenly your teammate appears in the doorframe, he was late for the meeting.
- Sir. I'll replace y/n for this mission, maybe the next one too.
- Why?
- Y/n is not feeling well. But the medic will inform you about the situation later.
König nods and continues explaining. You're good and always giving your best, he's proud to call you a member, a friend, but this is new and he's worried.
After the mission, he comes back, changes his clothes and walks directly to your dorm. Once he's out of your door, he knocks a couple times, he can hear the sound of the shower, but that's all, there's no response from you, quietly he opens the door and before entering he calls your name. No response. He finally gets inside, there's nothing that looks out of place, except for your bed sheets that are around the floor, your phone is dead, over the nightstand beside the bed.
He's feeling like an intruder, deciding to leave your room when the sound of someone sobbing, alerts him.
He walks to the door of your bathroom, the sounds of water and sobbing are louder. He knocks the door softly and after a few seconds he opens the door slowly.
There you are, sitting on the floor of your shower, the water is falling over you, your pajamas are wet, he wonders how long have you been there, but when he notices the way your breathing, trembling, lost in thoughts that you don't even notice he's there.
König doesn't need to talk and question you about your health, he knows some of those sensations you're experimenting with, he has been there before.
Carefully he kneels down to be in front of you, trying to catch your attention, successfully you do it, he opens the glass door of the shower and without hesitation he sits at your side, the water is cold, but is tolerable, feels refreshing, both stay in silence for a while, eventually he takes your hand in his, your breathing is fast and loud, he knows that sensation about feeling a lack of air so he starts to breathe and exhale loud enough so you can start to take some control of your breathing too, and you do it, now you and him are breathing calmly, he doesn't want to invade your space, when he's in this state, he deals with it by himself and knows that sometimes he would like someone to support him, to hold him, the fact that your hand is still in his tells him you will be okay if he puts his arm around your shoulders.
After a few minutes, he finds the courage to speak, he doesn't want to know what's going on or why you are feeling in this way, he only wants to know if you're getting better, if there's something he can do to help.
Your head is resting over his chest and his shoulder, you don't talk but you're nodding or neglecting with your head, at this point you agree to leave the shower, he stands up and gives you a towel.
You're still crying and trying to talk or say something but he tells you you don't need to say anything.
« it's all alright Meine Liebe, you don't need to say something, I understand. »
Your body is tired after all this time tensed, your body begs for some rest, König is helping you to stand up, to dry yourself as much as possible, he brought you dry pajamas, he asked you if you could change your clothes alone or if you needed help, you agreed when he offered his help, carefully and with all respect he started to help you, once you were dress, he let you sitting on your desk chair while he was doing your bed and connecting your phone to the charger.
He understands what you're going through and probably what you're thinking, perhaps you're feeling like a burden, weak, perhaps you're hating yourself for being in this way, but somehow it is possible that you're feeling grateful that someone is there to support you, to take care of you without making comments, judging or lecturing you.
As soon as he finishes, he offers his arm to help you to arrive at your bed, he asks if you're comfortable, if you want something to drink, he even asks if you want him to leave already.
You didn't want to be alone, it felt good to have company, to have a hand to hold, at this point you're finding your voice again, you're able to talk but the only words that are leaving your mouth are 'Thank you' and 'sorry'. König is very kind and insists there's nothing to thank and either something to apologize for.
He sat in silence, close to your bed, you're watching the ceiling of your room, he's just observing what is around both of you, he saw some sticky notes, it's not your letter and each one has a sign 'with love, mom & dad' but for being motivational quotes, there's nothing that can motivate someone. 'busy person, busy mind, zero drama' 'Keep yourself busy, kid' 'Remember, no time for dramas' 'always strong, never weak' 'no time for tears'.
Now he understands why you didn't say anything about your health, he can't blame your parents, some people don't know how to handle this situation, that's why you, just like him, have been dealing with this war with your mind alone, he feels guilty for not noticing it before but now that he knows what you're going through, he will not leave you alone, both are allies, both will support each other.
While you're still in bed, muttering apologies and thanking him for the help, he holds your hand and caresses your hair. Softly whispering.
«You're not alone, Meine Liebe, you will never be alone»
He stayed at your side all night, he even held you between his arms, until you fell asleep, he didn't care if he wouldn't have enough energy for the next day, the only thing he cared about, it was you, it was to see you well.
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nerves-nebula · 3 months
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Why does Splinter get Raph a turtle?
OH GOODIE a fun ask!
some abusive parents are truly dedicated to the grindset of being awful to their kids. they only get them gifts for shitty reasons, or they never get them gifts at all. but a lot of abusive parents aren't like that, a lot of them think of themselves as pretty good parents. splinter convinces himself that most of his abuse is more about raising his kids right and less about how it makes him feel powerful and in charge. he does things that he thinks a good parent/teacher SHOULD do.
so sometimes he gets them gifts. if he was going to get anyone a pet, it would be raph. he thinks raph can handle an extra responsibility. mikey is too irresponsible, donnie's too weak and neither of them deserve it anyway. and as much as he likes buying Leo's affection and admiration, he doesn't want Leo to dote over something like a pet. he doesn't want leo to be "distracted" by it to the detriment of his studies. (really tho he doesnt want something that leo can love unconditionally but he wouldn't admit that to himself fsdfsdF)
he probably didnt go out looking for a gift for raph but it likely came at a good time. maybe raph bested leo in sparring, maybe raphs just been pretty on top of things for a bit. or maybe Leo failed at something and splinter wants to rub it in more by rewarding his second favorite kid and making Leo think he could lose his place as The Best One :)
(crucially Splinter is not really aware of the abusive reasoning, he's more going off of vibes here. like, he's thinking that he's "motivating leo" rather than "scaring leo by making him think he's replaceable" cuz to him Raph could never actually succeed in usurping Leo as favorite. but Leo doesn't know that.)
as for where he got the turtle, idk, the trash? pancake turtles are expensive but maybe a rich asshole threw it out or something once they decided turtles sucked and were lame.
splinter saw a turtle in the trash and was like "this cannot be a coincidence" like in that kind of way where you don't necessarily believe in fate or anything but you see something and ur like well shit. i can't NOT involve myself in this it's like. super relevant to me in a hyper specific way. also he thinks its funny to give a turtle to a turtle as a pet.
long answer but i hope that covers everythinggg
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smuttykdrama · 9 months
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[Hyunsu & Chanyoung as Subs ; SWEET HOME]
Hi, this is my first smut drabble and first post so please be kind! also note that i've only watched through sweet home once! i've just finished the second season lol. ><
Warnings: smut, sub!hyunsu & chanyoung, dom!reader, female!reader, masochism, only read if you're eighteen or above.
This is written with an older reader in mind, with hyunsu being 19, the reader being 29, and chanyoung being 25. Forgive my HUGE noona kink. 🥲 Even tho I'm only 22 lol.
Hyunsu
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● Sub!Hyunsu, who only wants to please you, his noona, regardless of his own pleasure.
● Sub!Hyunsu who eats you out like you're a goddamn five course meal, savouring every part of you because you're his everything. The only light in his world.
● Sub!Hyunsu, who needs your praise like it's a drug. He's sadly very insecure, constantly worried that he's not doing well enough or that his body isn't good enough for you. You'd soon change those ridiculous thoughts of his.
● Sub!Hyunsu who is a sweet and caring boyfriend in the day, but a masochistic freak at night. You definitely take advantage of his healing abilities, allowing you to make Hyunsu's body your canvas. Scratches down his back, his front. Biting his chest, teasing him, and testing his pain tolerance.
● Sub!Hyunsu, who, after being in captivity and chained up, wants nothing more than to replace those memories with YOU. Tie him to the bedpost, put a hard metal collar around his neck. Anything to forget those painful times...and make new memories with you.
● Sub!Hyunsu who literally hate fucks you. Not because he's mad at you. But at himself. You know when he's depressed, because he shoves you onto the bed and buries his cock in your tight heat without warning. "Sorry, Noona...i really need you right now...i don't want to talk...i just need you."
● Sub! Hyunsu who gives you the best aftercare, even if he's the one who's all fucked out after a session. He'll even go out of his way to explore the city just to find a scented candle to light for you.
● Sub!Hyunsu who's monster wants you too, having felt just how satisfied Hyunsu was with you.
Chanyoung
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● Sub!Chanyoung, who's a complete virgin when you first meet him, and he's unable to meet your gaze when you sleep together for the first time.
● Sub!Chanyoung who is so overstimulated the moment your pussy clenches around him that he doesn't know what to do with his hands other than clutch the pillow as you ride him.
● Sub!Chanyoung who loves being bossed around in bed, and being told what to do. Want him to fuck you like you're unbreakable? Got it. Want to finger him until hes a blushing mess beneath you? Done! He lives to be your living, breathing sex toy.
● Sub!Chanyoung who keeps his uniform on while he eats you out, having just come back from a mission outside the stadium, knowing about your soldier kink. He looks just so handsome in it, but oh so much prettier with it off.
● Sub!Chanyoung whos thighs and lower abdomen are the most sensitive parts of his body. The moment you start leaving hickeys on his thighs or tracing the lines of his abs, Chanyoung goes crazy. "Not there, jagiya...i'll go crazy."
● Sub!Chanyoung who kneels at your feet after a long day, practically begging to bed you, looking up at you with his puppy like eyes.
● Sub!Chanyoung who is so drunk on your kisses, that he could come in his pants from the mere sensation of your lips on his.
● Sub!Chanyoung who can't believe that even after the world went to shit, he still has you to look after him. He may be your protector, but really, you're the one who saved him.
[END]
(A/N): Wow first smut headcanons!! I am here totally for the Hyunsu switch & Chanyoung sub agenda. Please like and leave a comment/reblog if you liked ^^ Let me know what Sweet Home Hyunsu & Chanyoung reaction you'd like next! I currently only write for those 2 characters :)
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suuuupernovaaa · 1 year
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kawnglan
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kawnglan [ˈkawŋ.lan] adj. malicious, bad hearted
Anonymous Request: Can I request a fic where Neteyam is being teased by Aonung and Lo'ak for not choosing a mate. It leads to the three making a bet that Neteyam has to court someone within 3 months and have the person fall for him. Neteyam does it just to get them off of his back, but eventually falls in love with the Metkayina reader, only for the bet to be exposed, making the reader feel like a game and a laughing stock to the boys even tho Neteyam's feelings became real.
The moons are high in the sky when I return home late that evening, a smile spread widely across my face that I don't think will ever fade.
The last few months have been the best and strangest of my life. Never had I imagined, when the Sully family had arrived on our shores, that they would effect my life so deeply.
One of them, in particular.
Though I was an orphan in the Metkayina clan, that didn't mean I'd grown up alone. I had an entire community around me, supporting and loving me. I had my tulkun sister and my friends, plus my aunt and uncle, to help guide and keep me safe as I grew.
But something was missing. I had always hoped that, when I was of age, I would find a mate to truly become my family.
I had just assumed he would be Metkayina - but Neteyam, the oldest son of the Sully family, had caught my eye the moment he set foot on our beaches.
He was tall, as tall as his father, and broad-shouldered, with long braids and a stern face, until he smiled, and then he became soft and kind; you could see who he truly was.
It was a long time before we spoke for the first time, but I spent time observing him and wondering how to introduce myself. Eventually, he did it for me, walking up to me on the beach and asking about the net I was using.
He asked me to teach him, and from that day on... Neteyam was always there, nearly everywhere I went. I couldn't remember the last time someone paid such attention to me, listened so intently, made me laugh so hard; it was a joy to spend every day with Neteyam.
On this night, just three months after that first time we spoke, I finally told Neteyam how I felt - that it was as if that missing piece of me was replaced, that he filled a hole inside of me that had been aching for so long.
And he told me he loved me.
I practically skip home, lighter than air, tears of joy on my cheeks, so proud to have earned the love of such a kind and gentle Na'vi.
"Y/N!" I turn to the right, and see Kiri coming my way. I wonder what she could be doing out so late, when most of the clan is asleep. I try to wipe the tears from my eyes, embarrassed by them even if they're happy tears, but she notices as she reaches me.
"Oh crap," she says, her shoulders slumping. "Did they tell you about the bet?"
I tilt my head to the side. "The bet?"
Her sad look turns to shock - eyes wide, mouth open - and she takes a step back.
"What bet, Kiri?"
As she tells me a story, a rage rises within me more powerful than anything I've ever felt.
I don't make it home that night.
--
Neteyam is up early the next morning, despite being up late the night before, eager to find Y/N. Last night was the best night of his life - but today, he has to tell her the truth. He can't stand it anymore; it feels like lying to her.
The bet on the beach that day was so stupid. Aonung and Lo'ak, both younger than him and happily mated, continued to tease him for not having shown interest in a woman.
Neteyam, hurt and embarrassed, chided back that he could have any woman he wanted.
Lo'ak challenged him, pointing to the closest Metkayina woman, and telling Neteyam that if he could get that woman to fall in love with him in three months, he'd tell their mother who truly destroyed her favorite necklace years ago.
Neteyam had been taking the heat for that one for too long - and he readily agreed.
He had not really thought the bet was something anyone would follow through on. He thought he would make a show of talking to this woman, and everyone would have a good laugh and forget everything... but things had turned out so differently.
He hadn't expected her. Of course she was beautiful, but you could tell that from a distance. It was up close, talking to her and spending time with her, that quickly made Neteyam fall in love.
The bet was far from his mind when he approached her every day. He wasn't doing this to get Lo'ak to confess to some teenage crime - he was doing this because he was infatuated with this confident, strong, fierce, talented woman.
"Neteyam, I must tell you something," she had told him last night as they sat on the beach, holding each other close and looking out at the waves. He felt a pang of panic in his chest, thinking someone had revealed the truth of their first meeting to her, but she went on to say, "I've always felt like something is missing. My parents died when I was little and it sort of felt like I missed out on a family. I always hoped, when I met my mate, I would feel sort of, you know, complete... and I do. I feel that with you. Whole again."
Tears sprang into Neteyam's eyes. She was whole without him, but he was still so happy she felt this way. He told her immediately that he loved her, that he wanted her to be his mate, and that he would never let her feel alone again.
And now, he has to tell her the truth - that this started as a silly bet, but it's so much more.
--
I have not slept the entire night, despite trying. I thought the crying would wear me out eventually, but sleep never comes, and I continue to cry through the night, until I'm all out of tears.
When the sun rises the next morning, I stay curled up against the wall of my mauri pod. I am too embarrassed to face anyone again.
Though my anger is mostly focused on Neteyam, I also feel betrayed by Aonung and Lo'ak, who instigated the bet and never thought to tell me that I was being tricked the entire time.
I was walking around like an idiot in love! And it turns out, I was just an idiot.
There will be no family for me. The hole I feel inside my heart is widened now, and I fear there's nothing that could fill it.
The tears start again, and I hear his voice. "Y/N?"
He's at my archway, and I huddle against the wall. "Go away."
His footsteps approach, and I feel him kneel behind me. He places his hand on my shoulder, and I flinch away, crawling to the other side of the pod, crouching down to glare at him.
"Go away," I reply with a hiss, and his face falls.
The expression is unmistakable. He knows that I know.
"Get out!" I scream, hissing once more, crouching as if to attack, though I barely have the strength to stand.
Neteyam surprises me by leaping forward, grabbing me by my upper arms, and forcing me to look into his eyes.
"No! You will listen to what I have to say, and then decide."
"Decide what?"
"Whether you want to speak to me again."
I stand up, breaking free from his grasp. "Speak, quickly."
He rubs his forehead, clearly not prepared to explain himself. "I don't know what you heard, but... here's what, this is what actually happened. Lo'ak and Aonung, they were making fun of me, telling me it was clear no woman was going to be interested in me, if they weren't already. Joking about how, I couldn't talk to women. So I, I said some dumb stuff, about being able to get any woman I want."
I scoffed, stepping away from him. Did he think this story was going to help?
"Just listen!" he insisted. "Lo'ak made a bet, said if I could get a woman to fall in love with me, he'd tell our mom the truth about something stupid he did years ago. Anyway... Aonung pointed you out. I figured I'd walk up to you, make a big show of talking to you, and everyone would forget about the bet. It wasn't serious, and it wasn't nice, to take it serious. It wouldn't... be fair, to anyone. So everything after that first conversation was real, Y/N." Neteyan drops to his knees in front of me, reaching out to grip my thighs. I want to shove him away, and I want embrace him, so I stand there, as still as possible. "I wasn't trying to convince you to fall in love with me to win a stupid bet. That's how I ended up speaking to you... but it isn't why I kept speaking to you. I fell in love with you, Y/N, almost immediately. Everything about you is... so impressive.
"You're the most talented, smart, and strong woman I've ever met. You are fierce, almost terrifying, and I was so proud that you taught me to make that net, so proud you wanted to keep talking to me. I almost forgot, about the dumb bet that brought me to you. I wish I could forget. I wish I could make you and everyone forget."
I sink down to my knees before him, and see the tears in his eyes, the way his lips are trembling, and he places his hands over his heart.
"I felt so foolish, when Kiri told me... I felt embarrassed, and hurt. To have told you that, that you are my family, and to find out it could all have been a lie," I reply. I take one of his hands from his heart, and place it over mine. "Promise me, Neteyam, that you do not wish to make me a fool. Promise me, Neteyam." I thought I could not cry anymore, but the tears fall down my cheeks freely again, and there's a burning in my chest.
"Y/N, I promise that I have truly loved you every day since the moment we met. I should have been honest with you right then and there. I will never forgive myself for hurting you. Never."
His fingertips press into my chest, and he is crying as hard as I am now, and I know that this is truly Neteyam.
Honest. Kind. Thoughtful. He would never have led me on for three months, and he would not be crying before me now if I did not mean something to him.
I lean forward, pressing my cheek to his chest, and he wraps his arms around me.
"Be my mate, before Eywa," he whispers. "Let me make this up to you every day, for the rest of our lives."
Through the tears, I smile. "Yes," I whisper back. "Just make me one last promise."
"Anything," he says, and I lean back to look up at him.
"Tell me what stupid thing Lo'ak did years ago."
A wide grin spreads across his face, and we both laugh. Just like that - the hole is filled, and I know everything will be okay.
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