#it can really make or break the immersion

[mmikmmik]

One underrated aspect of Mouthwashing is that it's really good as a video game.

I thought the player feedback was super strong. There's so many little gimmicky nightmare worlds and "minigames" and the game really helps you understand them very quickly and keep up the momentum. There were only a couple times I got stuck for long enough that I felt like it was breaking me out of the narrative, and I was able to resolve them pretty quickly. And one of them was my own fault - I was trying to use an item somewhere the devs had already indicated it was impossible, because I forgot about the little framing that pops up to indicate you can go into "interaction mode". That's a great little UI mechanism for making it super obvious what is and isn't interactive while still being unobtrusive and letting you feel immersed in the ship environment. Oh, and using the birthday cake scene to introduce the sawing mechanic? So when the player saws at Curly's leg, it's an incredibly powerful callback and the player already knows what they're supposed to do, defending the emotional punch from a "wait... which buttons am I supposed to press for this...?" moment? Brilliant.

Mouthwashing also has beautiful interplay between its gameplay elements and its storytelling. I think of Mouthwashing as "movie-like", because I feel like the pacing + tone + themes remind me very much of horror movies, but this story is meant to be a game. Think of the scene where Jimmy is basically telling Curly that he intends to destroy the ship. It starts with the player controlling Curly in first person POV. But right as Jimmy is talking about how Curly doesn't have agency in his own life ("You're standing at the top. Feet in cement. I get it now.") the camera escapes Curly's perspective and moves into a third person perspective, giving us our first look at pre-crash Captain Curly.

That was the last moment Curly had to avert the tragedy. He knew Jimmy had attacked Anya. Anya told Curly that Jimmy must be physically prevented from accessing the means to hurt the rest of the crew. Jimmy said it would be best if they all just died and then walked away saying "I'll take care of it" and Curly stood there watching him and did nothing. In chronological order, the next scene is the first time the player controls Jimmy. The agency and control, the status of "player character", has left Curly. He let himself become a character in Jimmy's story. And by the time he gets control again, it's already too late.

(Not that I think the game is actually presenting "player character" status as something that's true or real. Look how much Anya's internal life and deliberate choices shape the story, before and after the crash, even as Jimmy casts her as an annoying quest-giver NPC.)

I also really like how much playing through the little nightmare vignettes have the player recreate Curly and Jimmy's decisions. Like when Jimmy is forced to stare directly at the post-it note that's telling him to take responsibility (or whatever the exact words are), but he simply backs away from it. It's all about the way he finds mental and emotional loopholes to get away from what he's done, no matter how directly he's forced to confront it. What other medium could so intimately guide you through that metaphor, to express its internal logic so clearly without words? God, I love video games.

[helslastangel]

Mini Observations #5

based on my synastry with a friend/unrequited love interest

Sun Sextile Pluto

Powerful chemistry. Both parties are left changed by the connection. Can become completely obsessed with each other if not controlled. Both Sun and Pluto feel a bit lost or displaced without each other from the first time they meet. Especially Sun, as Pluto is less averse to isolation. This is generally positive bit can take a very dark turn if Pluto has bad intentions. The Sun person loves the Pluto person "first" if you will, or at least expresses it faster and more confidently than Pluto, who will either lower their inhibitions and reciprocate the sentiment or give and withdraw their attention at will to break the Sun person's confidence and keep them under control. This is one of those aspects where when it's good, it's truly amazing, but when it's bad, it's downright horrible for both parties.

Sun Sextile Venus

A soft, supportive aspect. Love at first sight vibes, even if not acted on. Not the strongest connection indicator out there but the emotional connection is real between them. The Sun person feels happier and more radiant when around the Venus person. Very much "life is worth living when you're here with me" vibes. Venus thrives on the Sun's energy and is attracted to their charm. Venus feels the urge to do anything to make Sun happy ("Oh hey, I notice you really like x, so I got 3 of them for you"). Sun adores Venus and will protect them at all costs ("They said WHAT to you at work? Oh no they don't! Drop the name and address, who do I need to beat up?").

☆●☆○☆●☆

Pluto Conjunct Venus

Strong sexual attraction. Moderate emotional attraction. Can be one-sided or more commonly lop-sided in terms of willingness to emotionally invest. Karmic. Love-hate dynamic possible. Pluto person can easily read the Venus person. Pluto person can become extremely attached to the Venus person, who is aware of this but may or may not be able to reciprocate.

☆●☆○☆●☆

Mars Trine Venus

Again, mutual sexual attraction. The Venus person admires the Mars person's physique, energy and confidence in themselves and their appearance. The Mars person admires the Venus person's spirit, aura, general behavior and way of being. This is a comfortable connection. Warm. Both romantic and lustful. Likely to keep the "spark" alive for s long time.

Mars Trine Pluto

Possessive. Intense. Soul ties are very strong here. Can be explosive or have many power struggles if not careful. Mars person is the muscle, Pluto person is the mind of the relationship. Mars person gets things going after Pluto person has given it thought and come to a conclusion. Can have an on-and-off friendship or relationship. Or tend to drift apart and back again regularly, even if in very small ways.

☆●☆○☆●☆

Venus Square Saturn

Could go either way. Other aspects and placements can heavily influence this one. Venus views Saturn as wise and an authority figure in a sense, but Venus might feel restricted from expressing themselves freely and creatively. May feel a sense of always being in trouble, annoying or disappointing the Saturn person in some way. Saturn views Venus as a ray of sunshine-that never sets. They enjoy the exuberance and freespirited nature of the Venus person whether they admit it or not, but feel irritated by it at the same time. Saturn may be overcritical of the Venus person, leading the Venus person to leave in frustration or stay but become depressed, if other placements do not balance this out. This aspect can also indicate 'right person, wrong time' relationships, or one-sided, unrequited love between friends. Delays of one kind ot another are common with this aspect.

☆●☆○☆●☆

Mars Opposite Neptune

Difficult aspect to balance. Mars wants to do everything now. If it's an argument, they want to finish it then and there. If it's a task, they want to get it out of the way. If it's a fun activity, they want to jump in and immerse themselves in it. Neptune is easily fatigued, easily overwhelmed and finds it difficult to keep up with Mars-and probably does not even want to. Mars is also blunt which Neptune can only handle in tiny doses, if at all, leading them to need space often, which hurts Mars' ego and leads them to push even harder, which in turn leads Neptune to resort to white lies to get the recovery time they need to remain in the connection. This is a difficult aspect that is only sustainable if Mars learns to be quiet and slow down and Neptune learns to speak up and pick up the pace. They can meet in the middle, but both have to be willing.

↤ go back to the masterlist

[book--wyrm]

Pengu Finale Liveblog ahhhhhh

Julian just absolutely brain blasting this old woman

Oh Rex is close enough to call her doll and make her breakfast he is not beating the deadbeat daddy allegation

OH NO DOES SHE KNOW OH MY GOD SHE KNOWS

NEVERMIND I WAS SO WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING SHE HAS KNOWN ALL ALONG

holy shit holy shit holy shit

okay so they did find the bodies eventually holy fuck hooooooly fuck

oh my god rex literally teaching francis how to manipulate oz and use him oh my god ohhhhh my god this is so much more of a betrayal than if francis had just hated him for what he'd done

she knew all along she knew all along and she used him and she

she

oz was right ahahahahah every relationship in his life is fuckign transactional because he KILLED THE ONLY TWO BOYS WHO TRULY LOVED HIM, AND KILLED HIS MOTHER'S LOVE WITH THEM

dude he has to kill his mother now

this is a psychological nuke the likes of which i think sofia could not possibly have ever imagined.

Francis's FACE oh my god.

Julian baby boy maybe Sofia should stand out of sight to not break immersion

God this is absolutely not how hypnotism works is it

IT'LL BE EASIER NOW YOU LITTLE PSYCHO

"I see you in ways other people don't" while she is ACTIVELY USING HIM

dude. dude. I just. It's always the same with Oz, isn't it. Sofia, Eve, his mom. He's the biggest bullshitter in Gotham, and he's so full of it he doesn't have a clue how to sniff it out

God they are both so horrific to each other. Just his horrible cycle of selfishness and toxicity what a twisted family they are

HELLO VIC I MISSED YOU

Oh rip lmao I guess the gangs know the bliss is all gone

Vic baby he's saying all the same stuff oz does, only he believes it, so he can't bullshit people to his side

Oh hey that dude on the other side of the walkie talkie lived!!

Man Oz and Sofia haven't been face to face since ep 4 hahahaha

BERTO MENTION. she hasn't used that name in a hot second

Oh my god Sofia literally using that bird nest metaphor ahahahh whoever that anon was in my inbox you are a genius

Man. Sofia literally just laying out all their horrible family drama in the worlds worst family therapy oh my god

Dude I've been saying for weeks now that Sofia's superpower is to completely shatter people with the truth and. ohhhhhh my god ohhhhhh my god ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Wait. Is Sofia going to give that cigar cutter in her cleavage to Francis to use on Oz. I think she should give it to her.

Uh. Nevermind

Wow Sofia really is leaning into this evil therapy thing what the fuck. girl.

God i desperately want her to be the girl-jonkler running the aslume at the end of this show please please please

Also Sofia, I think it was the left. I mean I'm sure she knows just so she can do the other one next, but. man. she is fuckin sadistic. im love....

Julian so enthusiastic about all of this hahaahah

I love Sofia like, almost framing this to them or possibly herself as a gift she is giving to Francis. Is this cope? Is this something she sincerely believes? Or is she just being cruel?

I ALREADY FUCKIN KNOW

It's my finger you spineless prick hahahaahha but that doesn't matter to him because its your love he wants it's your adoration your pride and what actually happens to you? Doesn't fucking matter.

I NEVER STOPPED HATING YOU

Sofia's face right then like. damn dude. god i love her

She had enough love for all of them and he soured every last drop of it. For them, for him, for the world.

Sofia really does know the value of just letting a drama play out.

Francis saying Sofia is right this ep, Sofia saying Francis was right last ep, damn.

Oz really is... the only character in this show chronically incapable of learning

Damn mama cobb strong enough to smash a bottle. I don't think even i could do that.

Oh my god no wonder she said "they look at me like i'm not even theirs" because in her mind, she let their murderer go free

also is oz gonna hulk out that she's showing love to an imaginary jack and benny when oz has just seen her hate?

Oh is she just dying right now

Julian doing the get down mr president

MR DETECTIVE YOU DIPSHIT

Sofia baby you did great okay you already hurt Oz please just go to italy with your boy toy

Wow is he not getting this fucking stab looked at

EW EW EW EW

Yeah sure sure. Sofia stabbed you. Sure. Sure.

Oh noooo. Vic... baby.... he is such a believer in Oz's stupid self serving bullshit. He is so good. And pure. And he speaks from the heart and. And Oz acts like this is something Vic rehearsed

And they laugh about it but Vic doesn't understand. He doesn't understand that Oz isn't giving him advice on how to most effectively show people the fire you hold in your heart—he's teaching him the art of smoke and mirrors. how to con and grift and bullshit until even you don't know what's true and real

Christ. Vic is so fucking dead

She'd never look at me again unless i get this done.

Oz knowing now that this love is transactional. And fine. He'll make that transaction, he'll take down sofia and then maybe his mom will pretend again that she doesn't hate him, doesn't want him dead

it's not going to work, of course. it can't because this show is about him becoming the penguin. and it can't, because even that transaction was always a lie Francis told herself

I don't think she could ever have loved Oz even if he'd gotten her into a penthouse at age 20. I think she lied to herself to survive living with him, because what was the alternative? Losing all three of her boys?

AHAHAHAHAHAH SOFIA LITERALLY PICKING UP OZ'S GOLD SUMMIT MEMBERS i have to say. I did not anticipate this at ALL

damn girlie really is just gonna dip to go to italy or wherever

sofia really is just setting up the funniest game of capture the flag imaginable while cramming like seven olives in her mouth

i dont' say this often. i desire her carnally.

The gun in the glove compartment surely that will not come back later

Oz originally checking his image in the reflection of the car vs asking Vic now, treating this kid as his reflection

Damn. Is Link really going to fall for Oz's shit again after that truck of cigs thing? Or is this just a ploy to get Oz into the right place for Sofia to pick him up?

Actually maybe that's what loses Vic, that Link betrayed him, and Oz expected it. Idk we shall see

Penguin planning to run for mayor in a couple movies?

Oh Oz is totally gonna send sofia to arkham ahahaha poor baby

Oh my god I thought Sofia was gonna claim credit for Sal's death, not that Oz would give it up himself

I cannot tell you guys how fucking tempting it is to skip right to the end of this episode to see if i'm right you guys

Wow Oz really eyeing that Mayor's office

Is he going to kill Bella and frame Sofia. Is he gonna kill bella and THAT is what turns Vic on him.

oh my god LINK

HAHAHAH I WAS SO RIGHT SHE IS BURNING DOWN FALCONE MANOR

oh god that's the watch Sofia gave him for his birthday FUCK YOU CARMINE

Sofia really is gonna fucking screw over EVERYONE hahaha THREE CIGS BABY

oh god she is so hot i love her you self actualize through arson baybeeeeeeee

that shot of her throwing the cig like a dart is so much oh my god

babygirl i love you

you deserve the world

but yeah she is going into the cold according to the needle drop. definitely going back to arkham

... what's in the trunk. i don't think it's normal luggage. is it more bombs

there is still 20 mins left. i am afraid

This is clearly a trap for someone i just don't know who. Where is vic

I'm so afraid this is the last we get to see of Sofia.

She knows. She always has such a nose for bullshit lmao. Also fuck you Link you gotta know Oz is gonna stab you in the back.

I do think it's promising that Julian has not been seen all day tho. What is he doing.

I love this. I love that Oz and Sofia finally get this one moment to be truly honest with each other.

Well. At the very least, Oz gets to be honest with Sofia. idk that he knows how to be honest with himself anymore.

Why does this look like a chemical factory. I know it's not happening but it'd be so funny for Sofia to become the joker right now.

just dunk her in the goop

Man. Is he actually going to shoot her. Police pls come and save my girl. Cannot believe that's what I'm begging for now.

oh my god

yeah i called it but. Man. This is so painful to watch. also i think my julian prayers are not going to be answered it did not look like Sofia had planned any of this

okay i'm normal about sofia being arrested now.

Okay. I'm normal.

I'm back to not being normal francis and vic and oz all in one place this is all gonna blow up emotionally

Is francis in a coma. is she totally brain dead oh my god.

oh man she really is never going to say she loves him hahaha

she let jack and benny's murderer go and it never got her anything

is he gonna kill her now.

TELL ME YOU'RE PROUD OF ME oz you fuckin

he's so fucking delusional jesus putting her hand on his head

dude. is Vic actually gonna live through this episode

holy fuck

did not call that in the least

well. i was right about the pyrrhic victory for Oz

"All kinds of things" shut the fuck up.

God. I cannot believe Vic is living through this show. Admittedly as the kind of guy that his parents would have been ashamed of, but.

Wait. No no

don't

don't do it

no nondfonfodnfodnfodfn

please dont

pelase dont

oz don't you dare

nONONNNONONONONONONONONONONONO

PLEASE DOJNT DO IT NOW PLEAE

NO NO HE IS THEO NLY ONE WHO HAS SEEN THE WEAKNESS AND HUMAN IN YOU

OZ YOU

OZ

NO

WITH YOUR HANDS???? WITH YOUR FUCKIGN HANDS???? I THOUGHT HE WOUDL PULL A GUN AT LEAST YOU FUCKING

ODSOFANDFONSODNOSDAGNOGNIOAGDSASGJDISGNAGLNFGOSANFOSDO

SANO

NON NO NONONONO

VIC

vic. vic. vic barely lived a month longer than his family

all that good heart and he just. enabled a monster to rise to power. to make gotham worse

HE'S MUGGING HIM

YOU PIECE OF SHIT YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT YOU BASTARD YOU

i

i

and the water takes him too.

JULIAN

oH MY GOD I WAS RIGHT AHHAAHHAHAHA

JULIAN

I WAS RIGHT ABOUT SOFIA GETTING MARRIAGE PROPOSALS HAHAHAHAHAH

SELINA KYLE???????? HELLO??????????????

bro.... oh my god..... this is....

I'm so happy.........

sofia smiling... sofia finding a new family member....

nvm i am so glad my original theories were wrong this is way better than anything i could have hoped for

oh my god

ohhhhh my god he actually is keeping his mom in a vegetative state.... exactly what she begged him not to do.......

she knows.... she knows... some part of her is aware in there ahahahahah

you should have let Rex kill him all those years ago

oh my god EVE???? EVE GIRL GET OUT BEFORE HE KILLS YOU TOO

oh no please tell me he never learned what happened with sofia and eve

hes literally just calling her ma. fuck me. mayeb that means eve is safe for now

NOT THE BATSIGNAL

[sevenmothz]

Was looking at my old DA:I posts and I completely forgot there was a voice glitch originally where the Inquisitor’s american voice would switch to the british one when you made a custom Hawke. I went through an entire playthrough (even started several other inquisitors) before it was finally patched. Banters were also super busted when the game came out. Went 50 hours with my party barely speaking to each other.

[mokeonn]

I think that the 2010's media landscape of Buzzfeed articles about plotholes in disney movies, Cinemasins critiques, and Watchmojo Top Ten scenes in movies that make no sense has truely ruined a lot of media. People are afraid that their work will be torn down if they dare leave a single thing up in the air, if they dare ask their audience to suspend their disbelief.

All too often nowadays I see stories (especially fantasy), take the time to explain how every small aspect of the world works and how it all logically makes sense. The constant time stopped to explain why an event happened, how this object works, or why this is important to the characters. It's just really not needed and it honestly makes a lot of stories worse.

I am of the opinion that the best stories truly just drop you into their world and explain nothing. They just take you through the story of this world and you just have to accept it and continue on. "When he became king, the land became barren." I don't want the story to stop and explain why this is, or how it happened, I want us to move on so we can just assume that the king has such rancid vibes that everything died.

[northern-passage]

very interested to know if anyone would ever leave a review like this on a game that had all cishet characters... is that pandering to the "cisgender" narrative? or is it only pandering when it's the "transgenders"? 🤔 what makes it pandering? just because it's for an audience that's not you? because it's for a group of people you don't personally like? what makes you so special that only your stories are the ones you deem worthy of being told?

[dol--blathanna]

And then she used the bad outfits to wipe out half the universe

[exhausted-archivist]

In regards to my last reblog on the scale of Thedas, latitude and stuff. I’ve been thinking about how much thought I give all this. Especially because this topic is one I’ve been talking with a lot of people about lately. It crops up a lot with people who, like me enjoy natural world building or are fanfic writers. Or really anyone who sits down and reads the lore at length. More times then not the question of Thedas’s scale comes up.

So, I want to establish I am very well aware that I’m likely giving it more thought than the devs. I have that luxury as a fan and consumer of the series. It is extremely relevant for me because I like making maps for the series, plotting out travel paths, and scaling things for da ttrpg campaigns I write.

So because I think about it a lot, I notice all the many different scales of Thedas in terms of travel time. How the scale they gave the ttrpg doesn’t match up with any scale they established in the main games or books. I think if the devs sat down and thought about establishing a standard scale and also considering just basic stuff we also wouldn’t have the Deep Roads be 2-4 miles / 3.21-6.43 km below sea level and display a lack of geothermal qualities. I think they’d consider how they built a world with at least 9.1 million people and tons of mega fauna such as giants and dragons and 14’/4.26 m tall bears that hunt dragons, all squished into roughly 1/4 of Europe and how much that isn’t really sustainable. How there would be much more impact if nature encroachment in civilization and how common things like that would be in places. Which they do consider it to a degree, I’m not saying they don’t. But I think if they thought about it just to make the world something that holds up a little better to idle musings, it wouldn’t be a bad thing. That the world would feel more real and alive and also narratively give them more to work with.

The contradictions and lack of consideration for the natural world has always been one of my critiques of Dragon Age, among other things. The reason why that is, is mostly because of a noticeable trend the lack of natural world building in fantasy. It’s a topic that has been discussed elsewhere and at length by other people, but to summarize nature is slowly having less and less impact in fantasy even in an ambient quality. Obviously this isn’t a universal statement, nor a universally required thing for a story to explore and have. That there are things that do focus on and explore it, but speaking in general terms, it is a trend in the majority of media.

Which for me is a bummer as it is an aspect of writing and world building I enjoy. I really like themes of man vs nature and to have that you need to have a basic level of natural world building. Which BioWare doesn’t really explore in Dragon Age despite having elements of it - such as how regular raw lyrium is explosive, mages get sick around all lyrium unless it is diluted to a safe amount for mages, and raw lyrium straight up kills them if they’re in the same room.

So then you have questions of how do mages go/handle being underground with such a risk? Dwarves have stone sense but would mages be able to tell when they’re getting close to large lyrium deposits because they’re getting sick? Does this impact grey warden mages? Darkspawn mages?

Things that don’t get fully acknowledged or explored despite being mentioned casually in codices most people don’t read. And they don’t for a couple of reasons such as potential coding issues but also all the questions you’d have to ask:

How would you implement that as a mechanic? Would you lock mage players out of entire areas featuring raw lyrium? Would they take environmental damage if you wanted the players to explore it regardless? Would it be a mechanic only applied by in harder difficulty modes? Do you acknowledge it in banter but not in any other way? Create a way to explain why the pc mage and their mage companions aren’t dropping dead?

BioWare’s answer seems to seemingly just ignore it because it would make gameplay too challenging/punishing and likely might not be fun for a player to deal with. But they compromise by keeping the lore active in the canon through codices and low impact additions. Which is a completely okay solutions, not my preferred but I get why they do it.

When I approach this lore, I do so without expecting them to fully flesh out each nation or know which city has the most resources and the geologically rich lands in said country. Dragon Age, and BioWare in general, relies on semi-soft world building. The world was after all designed for a game. They only need to build out what they need and what hopefully won’t paint them into a corner with future installments.

Additionally, the writing style for Dragon Age doesn’t suit the hard world building that I prefer, I’m quite aware of that but also know that when it comes to talk about world building in any media, there is always the issue of people (like me) who world build for fun and consider all these small aspects but ultimately they aren’t always needed and necessary for the story a game like Dragon Age is telling.

Dragon Age is told with the intention of things being given from an unreliable narrator. Built on the concept of: there’s three sides to the truth, what x thinks happens, what y thinks happens, and then what actually happened. Which works and I love the premise.

That said, I think that it also impacts lore that shouldn’t be subjected to the unreliable narrator. Foundation or anchor lore points to be specific. Which, as we know, BioWare has always struggled with consistency in their lore, particularly with Dragon Age.

Distance is one of those foundational points that shouldn’t change, and it’s also one of those points that you don’t have to give exact travel times. You can leave it vague and stick to the official statements like the ones we have of Ferelden being the size of England (or Ireland depending on the source you use). If you’re going to be giving specifics, then I think being consistent with how long it travels to get to point a to b and not changing it multiple times in one game should be a basic expectation that is met.

Other ones the series has and is pretty consistent with is how we know Thedas has 24 hours a day, they have seasons like we expect, and are in the southern hemisphere.

Do they sometimes slip up because editing doesn’t catch they’ve made a reference that applies only to the northern hemisphere? Yeah, and that’s not bad. There are a lot of people working on the project and things slip through.

I know I have the luxury to think about Thedas in a capacity that allows for the hard world building that I like. I also know I focus on and enjoy aspects of lore that are not exactly popular for their main audience and are pretty niche.

I don’t expect BioWare to world build how I do because I’m not world building for a massive and varied audience. Not even when I do world building for my tabletop games, because I’m catering to a smaller and more specific audience.

Still I think it’s valid and worth pondering these little elements of the world building. For fun, appreciation, and to nurture one’s own creativity and understanding of media, the world, and what they think makes a believable world.

Devs might not have time to consider it but we sure do and that’s half the fun of enjoying media I think.

[bonestrouslingbones]

girl help im writing an extra secrety secret thing and it may involve writing from the perspective of someone who has maybe the little beginnings of a crush on fluff and i am having so much trouble because i need to show that in a written physical description and i genuinely cannot think of a single thing about fluff that somebody would find physically attractive

[chiropteracupola]

hm well if you must have the characters in your nineteenth-century novel call each other by their first names, then it is nice when they happen to have first names that are very easily taken for surnames

[writeouswriter]

Searching for very specific book recs again because people on goodreads can't read:

Looking for a book like Contact by Carl Sagan, realistic science fiction about alien contact that's subtle with no big wars or battles or alternate histories or dystopian futures or greys or such, more of a focus on the characters, on people and their reactions, and doesn't stray too far from actual science, set preferably mostly on Earth in an unchanged present day/or within the past 30-50 years/maybe next 10 years at most, more on the scale of wow, this could really actually happen like now or something like that. Preferably NOT YA. 

Alternatively:

Also searching for a sci-fi book (again NOT YA) where I can get overly attached to a funky little scientist man. In the sense that I am currently projecting all my love on Newton Geiszler from Pacific Rim right now when I didn't even have particularly strong feelings for the movie itself.

[divorcemotif]

"oh hey a real person followed me, I should look at their blog"

soon

"...perhaps I should listen to Eskew."

oh boy you caught my blog after an exciting weekend lmao

I absolutely recommend eskew! I don't have a lot of coherent thoughts, since I got into it over a very physically and mentally draining summer job and have yet to relisten, but it left an impression for sure. I will say what there is of an overarching narrative felt a bit jolty to me in places, for lack of a better term— I think you get the vibe of a show that’s figuring itself out somewhat as it goes, however the ideas are very interesting and I could make a long list of moments that really really affected me. my recent posts probably give a good sense of what I liked most abt it; david ward is just. endlessly interesting as a character imo. the writing’s good— there's a kind of.. ironically humorous edge to a lot of my favourite episodes, something I’d have to relisten to properly articulate. there's a tic of referring to one-off characters by a title instead of a name— the correspondence editor, the architect, the witness— that scratches something in my brain. in contrast with the slimy fleshiness of much of the horror, the sound design is just nice, actually— the rain never stops in eskew and the tone of the narration stays pretty level no matter what’s being described. there are only two narrators and I found both of their voices pleasant enough to close my eyes to on the subway after a long day. very solid show

[mishkakagehishka]

alright there might be a new addiction forming

[stormfang-gnash]

I have 700+ hours in Skyrim across ten years, but ever since Starfield came out and was absolute ass, I've been freed from Skyrim hypnosis. Skyrim is not inherently a good game, it's just the only game of its caliber on the market. There isn't really another open world fantasy arpg with an actually rewarding exploration system and fun quests that lets you make a character and choose how you want to play the game yourself that isn't a Soulsborne/Soulslike, or at least I haven't found one yet. I realized I don't love Skyrim for what it is, because there is certainly a reason why the mere thought of a completely unmodded run makes me cringe into my soul, I love the idea of Skyrim, what it could be if it wasn't held back by so many broken or unfleshed systems. I have so many thoughts about this game, click the read more if you dare.

I could start like everyone else does, by talking about the bugs, and I think they are important to mention. Bethesda always gets off the hook for bugs when we wouldn't accept this level of bugginess from any other studio, and I think it is time we acknowledge that. And it's not like all the bugs that happen are funny mammoths falling out of the sky, there were multiple gamebreaking bugs that if you didn't have a recent manual save, you could lose hours of progress, including in the main questline itself. I distinctly remember getting the glitch where you talk to Esbern through the door in the Ratway in the main quest and he's says "ok let me open the door and we'll talk" or whatever, but the door never opened. This was long before I started modding too, so I was either straight up vanilla or vanilla plus the unofficical patch - which is crazy to me that modders need to patch the game because Bethesda won't, but I digress. The bugs are an issue, but are unintentional. I think Skyrim isn't good not just because of the bugs, but moreso because what WAS intended wasn't great, even for the time.

All three major forms of combat are bland in their own respective ways, for starters. For melee, its literally just hold the attack button with the occasional power move to break shields and very little variety in how you can approach combat. Even if you stealth in, once you enter melee combat its just swing, swing, swing, open a menu and eat a wheel of cheese, he's blocking so hit with a heavy attack, swing, swing, block, swing, swing, swing... You don't have to read movements, no riposte, no dodge or parry or anything crazy. I don't think it's a tall ask to give me a dodge and reward me for using it, give me a parry that I can use to punish an overly aggressive enemy, but I can still just hold block if I'm not able to learn how to do those techniques, but also pressure me to learn to engage with the combat system by having enemies break my block/stun me with heavies unless you parry. It could have learned a few things from beat em ups or hack-n-slashes of the time, tbqh. Not to mention every weapon in the game is the same, something I noticed after adding the Immersive Weapons mod. There's much cooler LOOKING weapons, but an axe is just a stronger and slower sword and a mace is just a stronger and slower axe, and the same is true for two handed weapons. There's no variance to playstyle, something that had been true in other titles of its day. Monster Hunter comes to mind, with unique movesets for all of its weapons so no two feel the same. They didn't have to go hard in the paint, but make my choice meaningful. And because the damage bumps are fixed to whether or not you choose sword, axe, or mace, they can't really get too creative with anything else, which dumbs it down into the realm of boringness. There's no room for reach weapons like polearms, fun but impractical fantasy weapons like scythes or buster swords, chained weapons like flails, thrown daggers or kunai, finesse swords like katanas or rapiers, different damage types and resistances, nothing. Combat feels the same for you no matter what weapon you pick up and I think that's one of the worst choices they made. It makes it so it's super easy to pick up as a new gamer, but once you've been playing for long enough, there's nothing to delve deeper into to keep you interested in it.

Spells are worse though, because the damage doesn't scale with your level literally at all. There's very little difference between a level 100 destruction mage casting flames and a level 15 destruction mage doing it. The only damage amp spell casters get is a paltry non-scaling 25% to one particular element (meaning if you want to use all 3 kinds of damage spells (excluding radiant since its not a primary type, another piece of squandered potential) you have to spend 3 skill points to get max damage on each), one other small bump if you dual cast, but that shuts out other playstyles, like spellswording or even just having ice spike in one hand and lightning bolt in the other. So the only way to keep scaling your damage to enemies is to sink all your stat points into magicka so you can cast highier tier spells that will actually hurt high level enemies like draugr deathlords. You can't even augment your damage via enchanting, all it does is reduce mana cost so you can cast more. And you'll need to cast more, cause the aiming is ass. You know how DnD/BG3 has point and click spells like Magic Missle or Scorching Ray? None of that. Everything is an actual projectile, and the projectile is SLOW. I have no issue hitting moving targets with arrows, but with a spell? Forget it. And iirc unless you have a mod to turn off friendly fire, stuff like chain lightning WILL hit your followers/nonhostiles, which is fine in DnD to make you weigh the cost of using a high impact spell at the cost of allied HP vs switching to something with less or no AOE and less damage, but annoying in Skyrim when Fireball and Chain Lightning are the only spells at that level and the enemy is a deathlord.

Even the stealth archer that is the best way to play isn't as engaging as it could be, because there's no incentive to be GOOD at stealth. There's no red alert phase enemies go into if evidence of your presence is found, they just see a dead comrade, look for you for a minute and a half, then go "🤷‍♀️ must've run off" and that's it! And the AI is so bad if you have a few levels in sneak they can be looking right at you and STILL not see you. The gameplay as a sneak archer is similar to the melee in that its just get a pick, pick, oops they saw me so I'll hide now, pick, pick, pick, run and hide, pick, pick, miniboss so kite around it/switch to melee and the dungeon is clear. I noticed as I was writing this that I have never had a save where I was a straight up melee or magic combat user and actually continued playing it. Every character I have that I played to level 30 besides the wizard where I was hoping it would get fun eventually (it didn't) is some sort of hybrid spellsword or paladin because doing just one or the other highkey... is Boring! But I'm not sure if it's worse than having to stop combat to open a menu and switch spells. Even with SkyUI, this shit is gross and clunky to use, and it makes combat come to a screeching halt.

Crime is another thing I feel is... eh? It doesn't really feel like people's opinion of you changes based on your actions like they do in Morrowind or even Oblivion. In fact, the entire Speech tree is completely useless beyond lowering shop prices and fencing items, because you can almost never use it to fish out information from people, manipulate people, piss people off, or get a read on someone's opinion of you because that information is literally irrelevant. Everyone's disposition towards you is just "you're the main character so I guess I'll just dump 5 sentences of exposition on you without any hesitation". If I attack Nazeem in broad daylight and serve my sentence or pay my fine, the guards may comment, but nothing of value is lost. No one seems to dislike the player for their actions, or refuse them service or anything. You might lock yourself out of a quest or follower, but it never felt like anyone had much to say if I did commit crimes, unless it's LITTERING, because THEN people will come up to you and either tell you to knock it off or ask to take what you dropped. Even when you're obviously trashing a room, they just ask you to stop, they don't get aggressive. It's not like even RDR2 where the townsfolk will loathe you after you've done a crime, but bringing your honor back up clears the hatred townsfolk hold towards you. People aren't distrustful of you if you're a werewolf or vampire unless you're caught doing explicitly non-human things even if you're in the monster hunter guild, if you are a non-Nord dragonborn, you experience no racism, like there's just... so much that could've been done here. Speech is the most underwhelming skill because it's never utilized beyond things relating to gold - intimidation or persuasion are such rare dialogue choices, why even bother? It's rare that you can actually defuse a situation with words anyway, and it's telling that the only way to really be able to raise speech is to buy and sell over and over rather than just talking to people and trying to glean information from them, being able to defuse arguments, or pick fights.

The characters lack depth I didn't know was possible until Baldur's. I can talk to a lot of major NPCs and companions and get the jist of their life story in BG3, but what can I say about Lydia, or the wood elf you can pick up in Riverwood who is so forgettable I can't even remember his name? Major players in the story like Ulfric or Jarl Balgruf? Even my beloved Kharjo, what do I actually know about him? He's in Skyrim because he blew all his money on gambling while wasted on Skooma, and he has his mom's amulet. That's it. There is ONE fleshed out follower and its Serana. And she ironically is the ONLY NPC you could really and truly get attached to, the only one with a shred of personality, and she rejects your marriage proposal. You can't make this shit up. I get its partly because they have so many companions, but I'd rather have just one masc and femme follower of each race that have fully finished character sheets with ideals and motivations than 50 stubs with non-existant personalities (and this way at least the "uglier" races have more options bc there's so few Khajiit, Argonian, and Orc romances you could count them on 2 hands). And genuinely, this is the central issue with what's wrong with I think most of their titles after Skyrim. They focus too much on having more, more, more, that what they do have winds up uninteresting because it wasn't developed enough. Wide as an ocean with so much you COULD potentially do and how much it offers, deep as a puddle with how much everything is lacking because of a lack of focus on the smaller details. You don't earn your romance, you just wear an amulet and talk to the npc you want to marry. You barely interact with any adopted kids other than "yes bring that skeever home" "no go to bed" "ok ill play tag with you". Even one of the tasks I do every game almost, building the homestead, what is really the difference between buying and furnishing a house in a major hold versus the homestead, other than it being time consuming and slightly modular? Unless you grow plants, prebuilt homes offer the same amenities except the forge/smelter iirc, and your spouse will occasionally hand you gold from stuff they've "sold" despite you never stocking the store. There's such a missed opportunity to actually RUN a store that you have to keep stocked, giving you a decent way to earn passive income with all the trinkets, armor, and weapons you loot. Your spouse and kids should make occasional trips to town for fun and supplies, and you could easily have small optional quests to do for them, almost like a Haruka's Requests system. You don't have to do everything she asks (I sure don't when it's Koi-Koi), but it raises your bond if you do.

The one thing I can say with confidence the game got right is exploration. You can pick up a quest in Whiterun to go kill someone near Riften, and while you're making the trip, you run past 20 different dungeons you could stop in and get new loot, you might find more sidequests along the way, kill a dragon, run into a radiant encounter, pick new herbs for poisons, fill soul gems for enchanting later, etc, etc. It's a positive loop that keeps you locked in like "ok I'll just do this one last small thing" but that thing is so connected to everything else that it builds on itself to keep you invested. It's a truly brilliant way of handling exploration, and I see it echoed in BotW and TotK and I'm glad for it, it is truly the best thing to come out of the game. Truly a journey-not-destination kind of thing, and because of that I don't fast travel nearly as much as I walk places. But everything else.... sucks.

And I really do hate that it sucks, I'm not a hater just because, as evidenced by my playtime, once upon a time Skyrim was my favorite game, and stayed in my top 5 for years. I want to keep enjoying it, but partially because I've been milking dopamine out of it for 10 years, and partly because I can see behind the veneer, it doesn't hit the same anymore. And the central issue I have with coming back to Skyrim now is the same issue I have with Starfield - I've seen every system and idea that's lacking done so much better by other titles. No Man's Sky did everything Starfield wanted to do with space travel MILES better than Starfield and I don't even play NMS anymore, and it was 8 years old when Starfield launched. And because I'm not a broke 15 year old with a shitty laptop anymore and I can actually play all kinds of newer titles and emulate older ones, I've seen everything that Skyrim tries to do done better by so many other games that it's impossible to go back, even by its contemporaries in 2011. I try not to judge the lack of meaningful stealth mechanics too harshly, but Splinter Cell and MGS3 had already set the bar on that many years prior; I try not to judge the NPCs/companions, but Mass Effect is often praised for it's cast of colorful characters and the ways you can romance them too, and it predates Skyrim by a few years; melee combat had been so iterated upon by this point that they could have pulled out any popular non-FPS title and chosen that to look at, or even referred back to the original DnD blueprint; and I've ALWAYS hated that vanilla had no way of either being able to keep track of or summon your horse when Red Dead Redmption came out a year prior and had an icon to to show the horse on your map, and Ocarina of Time, a game that was then as old as Skyrim is now, gave you a method to summon the fucking horse on command. And it is hard to not look at newer titles like Red Dead Redemption 2, or Baldur's Gate 3, both of which are absolute masterclasses on open worlds with strong narratives and compelling NPCs and companions even despite some of their flaws, and NOT judge Skyrim now that I've seen what COULD have been with more care and attention to detail, and probably an engine that isn't Creation. Especially now after Starfield and even FO76 where I can clearly see that Skyrim wasn't overly ambitious and just couldn't achieve all it wanted to do before it had to be shipped (though it plays a part, I'm sure), but everything is the way it is by design.

now its time to bring the haterism

if you think multiple are bad vote for the one you hate the most <3

[tyrannuspitch]

although. that said. a little while ago i finally got curious enough to read some d*rcy/loki fanfic, and i truly couldn't buy it most of the time. that character combo DID feel kind of inherently OOC. but maybe i just needed a slower burn to be convinced, idk

[bfpierce]

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