#it can express itself if it wants to
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carhartt · 15 days ago
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let it rain blood and bone
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oopsallmabari · 8 days ago
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like related to my last rb i dunno...the reason i (admittedly cynically) kind of hope that DA ends with this or gets a hard reboot is because i love the world and many of the characters in it and i don't want a game in the future that is made worse by trying to stick to lore and story it is no longer interested in engaging with, or a game that's struggling to maintain meaningful continuity given how long the series has been running for. i think that struggle is already there in vg. i think it had a tall task to begin with b/c it still had to end the story set up in inquisition/trespasser almost 10 years after its release, while also introducing you to parts of the world we had only heard abt before.
i am, admittedly, lore-hungry and would like to chew on as much information abt rivain and seheron and kal-sharok and nevarra etc etc etc as i can get. i would want to go back to the south, even, but i think that's hard to do without a hard reboot given that the south is presumably changed significantly after the blight that elgar+ghilly spread.
idk. i'd like to play through the games from start to finish to really get a feel for how they fit together, bc right now, for better or for worse, veilguard feels the most divorced from the other 3 to me and i can't imagine any other theoretical DA installments being more like the original trilogy, esp when prior writers have left.*
in my ideal world there would be more DA games and they would be narrower in scope but deeper in exploration of culture, characters, and politics. give me a game after vg set entirely in rivain. give me a game that is focused almost-exclusively on the thaigs and the deep roads. give me a game set during one of the previous ages! but that's also because i enjoy games and stories that feel like they have world-ending consequences without actually being a story about the world ending.
but i don't think i'm gonna get that from another DA game, and i didn't think i was gonna get that from DA before vg was released. so i'd rather it end while it's still fun, or be given such a major reboot that i'm not comparing it to what i've seen and loved previously.
(*-i don't think it's inherently a bad thing that prior writers have left, and i don't want ppl to take this as a wholesale endorsement of the prior games' writing. i have issues w them too, wish some things were retconned, and don't think that the things i dislike abt DA or vg specifically would be solved by bringing back all the old writers.)
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wickershells · 3 months ago
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never fails to frustrate how many people online hold steadfast to the belief that fiction materially affects reality (as opposed to a reflection; media-as-mirror, harm coming from pre-formed factors) yet insist on adding “in fiction�� as a post-requisite to discussing something like the believability of trauma. calling a little life by hanya yanagihara “euthanasia fan fiction”: hidden there is the acknowledgment of a severance between fiction & reality but only, as always, under conditions that allow people to disregard and dismiss victims. swearing that if someone develops or projects a form of their trauma in/onto an incest narrative then they are contributing to rates of incestuous abuse itself (or, here, of suicide, self-harm, etc); immediately dropping the whole compassion-prevention charade to swear there are levels of abuse where a line is crossed and it starts to sound ridiculous, fanciful. trauma hypochondriacs: no way there can be that much suffering in someone. a very real, material perception, that affects quality of treatment, of communal support. and so we deride the book and its author and call it “trauma porn” (a phrase that makes me break out in hives), say its graphicness and excessiveness made us just want the main character to kill themselves already, because hey, we would, and fail to see how disgusting that is to say, because hey, it’s fiction, we would react differently if it was real — because of course fiction affects reality, but our virulent & vitriolic responses to it, that victims everywhere can see, do not
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greasydumbfuck · 6 months ago
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thinking about frank and sex (in a sad way)
#marvel#frank castle#the punisher#not as in about sex with him but like how hes portrayed in relation to it in the comics if that makes sense#hes just always so deeply uninterested not just in the women but the act itself too like#so many times hes like. not pressured thats the wrong word but like i can think of at least two times i saw#where the women just kinda. walk themselves into his bed. and hes like 'eh idk about this' but then just kinda does it anyway#like i imagine the writers intended for this to be like a cool guy thing yk like ah he gets so much action and he DOESNT CARE cuz hes COOL#but ME personally i cant help but read it like. god idk i dont want to say him letting himself get used and using them in turn#theres this expression 'going through the motions' that kind of feels right here but idk how to explain it#hes just so weird about it. every time. in my mind i cant imagine him ever really wanting it very much#like maybe to feel good sometimes but its never. idk am i making sense am i just saying shit#is he gay asexual missing his dead wife or just so so fucking traumatized and dead on the inside that his body is just an object now#so many fun ways to interpret this#<guy who is not having fun interpreting this#wish i could just project my thoughts into your heads so youd see exactly what i mean cuz i dont feel im verbalizing this well enough#god take a shot every time i say 'like' or 'just'. youll be off your face from this post only#i may be making shit up tbh idk the thought struck me out of nowhere while i was looking at the ceiling
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akkivee · 11 days ago
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we’re getting a movie event on abema later this month!!!!!! most of the cast will be there and they’ll be dropping new info about the movie too!!!!!!
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itspileofgoodthings · 3 months ago
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i love my counselor because she refuses to pry. don’t even know if she knows that’s an option, I have so rarely met a person who stays so thoroughly in her lane.
#the thing about me is that I’m an open book with an expressive face. and also I keep a lot inside and refuse to speak on things#especially things that are bothering me#and that can be irresistible to some people who just want to dig into my soul#and it’s why I was afraid of counseling for so long. that someone would be like ‘what can we unearth in Maria’s psyche’#and she just doesn’t care/doesn’t try/is only going to take me at face value#so there is lots I don’t tell her/refuse to speak on. and you know what doesn’t it MATTER. because the point is not to push myself#to some arbitrary measure of absurd honesty/openness but to talk about stuff when/if it’s helpful#also a huge way she’s already helped me is she’s just like ‘girl you’re fine’#no but actually though. she’s always like ‘you sound like you’re thriving to me!’#and she’s also just like ‘you’re busy you have energy you have plans you make good eye contact you clearly have confidence’#with the underlying message being. the thing that’s hurting you the most is your own anxiety. which sounds obvious lol#but it is kind of the sheer act of worrying itself. the other stuff is (mostly) in order#and that has helped. she also has cured me of some wrong self/belief stuff.#like I was once like ‘I’m not organized! I make no plans!’ and she was like ‘your plans have plans what are you talking about’#she also said I was highly logical and analytical and didn’t act emotionally/from a place of emotion#and I was just like ‘pikachu face’ because one of my deepest beliefs was that I WAS an emotionally driven person#and she was like nope. you’re highly rational. I mean I took it as a compliment and loved to hear it#the problem with me is when the brain will simply spiral out of control and the details become monsters and I make things a big deal#I’m super good at that#anyway yeah just processing
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cathodic-clairvoyant · 8 months ago
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There's a lot about discussion of hdwr that baffles me (not all discussion to be clear, because i do think there's a lot of good discussion about hdwr. But equally so are there the ones that make you wonder if you're reading the same story) and I think one that is especially annoying is the constant infantilization of miwa as this passive eternal victim. It drives me up a wall because this is quite literally an issue she's struggled with within the text of the story! She had an arc about how she dislikes how people treat her this way like towards the beginning of the story! And like even ignoring that, this story is about like nuanced and realistic portrayals of being in relationships and learning how to navigate them and so it's like what's the point if you're going to immediately reduce the characters to "the victim" and "the victimizers?" Is that even interesting? Is that a useful lens to look at interpersonal relationships?
#how do we relationship#hdwr#this is about the poll in the subreddit but i also saw similar comments (mostly about sae) on the website i was initially reading hdwr#i dunno like i'm like miwa fan numero uno so like i get ardently defending her but in my opinion#part of what makes these characters interesting is that all of them are extremely flawed in ways that can negatively feedback on each other#miwa has also done bad things to the other characters and been bad for them as well#i do think miwa repeatedly trying to turn being fwb with sae into a second chance despite sae clearly saying no#and repeatedly breaking sae's boundaries during that time was bad and shitty of her#i do think her avoiding tamaki and trying to supress her feelings despite that not being what tamaki asked for or wanted was bad andimmature#i do think that while miwa was under no obligation to say it to her i do think miwa's inability to tell sae that she loved her#even while asking to get back together was undeniably bad for sae as someone who had insecurities about being loved#personally these things are not unfortunate irredeemable aspects of her character#nor do they justify or excuse what happens to her#but instead characterize her as being inexperienced with romance and having strong feelings she isn't always able to completely express#or understand fully. this is an aspect of her character that is relateable and understandable to me#i find it hard to say that if i was in her position i wouldn't make the same mistakes as her#and like this is just one aspect of miwa's character. she of course has more than this which is why i am miwa fan numero uno but also#the same is true for like all of the main cast#they have depth and flaws that are relateable and realistic. even if you don't like a character's actions they're internally consistent#within not only the character themselves and the context of what they've been through but also the narrative itself i feel#which is why i like this story#so it feels unfortunate to flatten that all into who hurt who more or who is innocent and who is evil or whatever#like yes i obviously do think what sae did in like volume 5 was bad i also think what she did in vol 1-4 were also various shades of bad too#yes i do think what tamaki did in 103 was obviously bad#i mean ch. 119 and ch. 120 most likely are about exploring the consequences that has had on miwa#i just don't think it's useful interesting or even correct to look at those events as 'bad people doing bad things'#also while not related to miwa i think people who treat yuria and sae's relationship this way also baffle me i cannot understand it#channel 3
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cabeswaterdrowned · 5 months ago
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The thing about Blue is that compromising her wants and identity as a concept is antithetical to who she is, like she will do it in some areas because she has to as a girl in this world but it’s very against her nature to do it when there aren’t other external barriers.
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mad-hunts · 6 months ago
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i like how barton went from being like... a hippie in terms of how he viewed sex in his early twenties, then kind of abstained from it for a few years / became sexually repressed, which... definitely isn't such a good thing. BUT then he became even more of a freak (and i do mean that in the good way this time LOL) around the time he started residency because WOW is that shit stressful. though that was also unfortunately around the time when he really started to spiral as well 😬 but we don't need to talk about that ahahhh
like the way this man learned how to express his sexuality REALLY came full circle in the end considering he was like 'yeah, back in the early days that i was in college, i was a freak. but now i'm not anymore... though do you want to see me do it again anyway?' like 💀 JSJSJ if he weren't so demented, i'd almost be inclined to say good for him, y'all LMAO feeling comfortable with your sexuality and perhaps even having a bit of fun with it (though maybe too much in barton's case, because he literally weaponizes it in order to lure in his victims. BUT once again, we don't need to talk about that right now psshhh. i actually fully intend on talking about that in the tags NGL) is more often than not a good thing after all
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#nah but although i haven't really mentioned this before... when i first developed barton he had ALWAYS been kind of sexually repressed-#because he was sort of brought up by wesley to believe that it was one of those 'taboo' topics to the point where he had to get the talk-#from winslow and i'm not gonna lie i kind of find that WILD now LMAO because i mean like i said here a big part of how barton lures-#people in to eventually become his victims is through flirting with them and going on dates with them.#so like whenever i think about it now it didn't really make sense for barton to view sex as this 'hush-hush' topic bc he quite literally-#uses his sexuality to his advantage as i said here / weaponizes it. though expressing your sexuality isn't bad in and of itself OFC#the way in which he goes about doing it personally is just. Wellll not so good for lack of better words JSJSJ because barton is-#a serial killer whom has actually been sensationalized in the news (bc y'all know how terrible the news is when it comes to this stuff)-#into being called the 'heartbreak killer' because barton manipulates people and basically says exactly what they want to hear as well-#as makes himself as physically attractive as possible to voluntarily get his victims to come with him which is. yeahhh YIKES#but i can imagine that as soon as the news found out for the first time that his victim had last been reported to be going on a date-#with someone that they latched onto that and made it into a story that lacks the seriousness that something like that should-#always be treated with TBH because although they are just characters whenever it comes to the scope of their world they aren't and-#are living people so??? it's TOTALLY wack to be exploiting people like that to get views especially in a place like gotham where-#there's already enough craziness as it is without giving a serial killer a name that basically equates the murders to 'heartbreaks'-#which are definitely not on the same level at ALL but anyhow. i'm rambling now SKSKS#this isn't to say that barton always uses his sexuality to fulfill bad objectives bc like i said it isn't bad in and of itself -#though the fact that he does says something about him as a person since it's a rather sensitive thing for a lot of people you know?#and making people feel like they're wanted? when in actuality you just?? want to kill them??? it is severely messed up so yeahhh#tw: manipulation#tw: sex mention#tw: barton just being an asshole tbh
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probably-a-plant-thing · 1 year ago
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Holding myself back from making my own eltingville playlist so hard rn...
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reel-fear · 10 months ago
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Honestly, every single time the whole 'poppy playtime is a bendy rip-off' stuff ever shows up I find it all extremely unconvincing and silly.
For one thing, rip-off usually is meant to imply that it's a cheap lazy copy of a better more polished thing, and uh. Sorry but even from chapter 1? Poppy Playtime is a better game than Bendy, it has a simple but understandable story, the game manages to be thrilling, creepy, and very intense at times... I mean that Huggy chase in the vents ALONE puts it way above Batim for me.
I mean BATDR had the most slow stupid chase I've ever seen [and every other encounter with the ink demon is text telling u he's there and then a timer goes down and u get jumpscared] and batim's chases were either silly or just not nearly as theatric or terrifying as that.
When making the vent sequence I mean not only is it absolutely horrifying to realize how fast Huggy is in there but also it's so theatric and cool? The fact that you round a corner after thinking you escaped only to see a terrifying animation of that thing crawling toward you is awesome! I wish Bendy had stuff like that!
And all the stuff it shares with Bendy are generic things Bendy ripped from other horror games/media anyways. I'm not saying Poppy Playtime isn't inspired by Bendy I for sure think it is but Bendy is such a generic story that somehow fails to do tropes 100 other horror games have done any comparison only makes Poppy Playtime look better.
"It has employees being sacrificed for their company" That is not a concept Bendy invented, literally look at any of the sci-fi horror series Bendy is very inspired by. This is literally a twist in the original Alien.
"It has a scary woman forcing you to do tasks for her" Once again, not a concept Bendy invented, a scary mysterious person forcing you to do fetch-quests is a concept found in tons of horror media. And at least Poppy Playtime gave you a chase with her and let you defeat her, look at poor malice. She's barely on screen for more than 10 minutes before she gets stabbed.
"It has a cult worshipping the monster" This is something tons of horror games and media have done too. I mean In The Tall Grass has a guy who worships a giant magical rock in the middle of a grass maze, Bioshock [which Bendy has only been taking more and more direct inspiration from while failing to grab any of the compelling parts] also had a lot of themes of religion and cult-ish behavior, almost every horror media franchise has at one point done a cult thing.
Bendy couldn't even come up with a reason Sammy worships the ink demon, the best motivation we've ever gotten is just that 'he's crazzyyyy the ink made him insaneeee'. Who is the cheap rip-off here?
At least Poppy Playtime gave their cultist a motive for worshipping the monster + a proper boss fight that feels intense and looks awesome! Bendy didn't even let you kill Malice [she got stabbed in front of you and then just collapsed on the floor how thrilling] meanwhile you get to kill three of the villains in Poppy Playtime and the gameplay and action in those scenes have only gotten better as the game went on.
I mean Sammy walks into a room and goes "AAA SCARY I'M BEING MURDERED" then later shows up and for NO REASON sees a normal human man and assumes it's the ink demon before once again someone else kills him for you. In Poppy Playtime you defeat Catnap as he floods the world with this horrible nightmare-inducing gas that intensifies the color palette and his design. Fight off versions of him that are illusions that you need your flare gun for, then watch in a wonderful animation as he mistakes the monster for his savior before getting killed by it, in a brutal way I might add, which game are we accusing of being cheap, lazy garbage again?
I just find this argument to be people who Really Really need to find a reason to hate Poppy Playtime which I think is silly. The devs being weird, shady people is already enough reason to dislike the game, you don't need to invent reasons why secretly every part of the game is malicious or bad. But esp when I see Bendy fans saying they don't support Poppy Playtime or dislike it bc of its devs or even saying its cringe ummmm.
I have bad news about the fact Bendy's devs are worse and it took not one, but TWO over an hour long videos to cover it all. Plus the Bendy games are just the worse games in every aspect, if I could sell my batim copy for a copy of Poppy Playtime I wouldn't hesitate at all.
Saying this as a bendy fan, we have no right to be super judgy towards Poppy Playtime. If Poppy Playtime is embarrassing cringe, Bendy is too and is way more embarrassing of an interest. We shouldn't spread misinformation just because we all want to hate Poppy Playtime, you can dislike Poppy Playtime without making up a bunch of nonsense to justify it.
Honestly seeing people just blatantly be unfairly mean to Poppy Playtime only makes its critics look worse and makes it hard to take any backlash to the games seriously. Because surprise surprise if you spread misinformation to make a point people will quickly stop listening to Anything you have to say bc they won't trust you're telling the truth anymore.
#feel free to reblog but Im not gonna tag this its way too rambley at least for my taste to go in the main tags#ramblez#also man can I say I didnt want to make this post super long but theres so many other points I could make in poppys favor#the fact we got to see the hour of joy and it was terrifying we dont even know if joey actually killed anyone anymore#the gameplay itself is more diverse and fun then batim which is a walking simulator that pretends to have fighting n stealth mechanics#at least Poppy n Missys friendship gives u a reason to care for missys safety before shes put in danger#Missy can actually express unlike Boris who sits there looking cute with no proper expressions until he gets yoinked and ur supposed to car#bc he was uh adorable? And therefore you spend an entire chapter tryna get him and get an extremely bad boss fight in return-#also soundtrack wise I like poppys tracks more theyre unique and fun and you can tell which part of the game they come from#bendy has so many dramatic reveal stingers and tracks that are really hard to tell which part of the game they come from#bertrums boss fight has my favorite theme bc its so specifically crafted for him and unique and meanwhile Norman has one of the worst imo#a lot of Bendys soundtrack if I played it for you right now it would be hard to guess where its from bc it all kinda sounds the same#the reveal music for the machine for bendy land for heavenly toys for alices domain all sound the same x_x#its just so frustrating but yeah my point is can we all stop making up new reasons to shit on poppy playtime its just kinda dumb#it feels less like actual criticism and at this point just feels like elaborate justification for cringe culture which I hate#okay thats it bye sorry this is 10 pages long-
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vehemourn · 8 months ago
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nausea forever
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mauv-the-bluest-cat-ever · 22 days ago
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i have my benefits of not being out as trans (which is. only one really but it is not being harassed because i dont attract attention) but it fucks with my sense of self
#i am genderless. i am some sort of man. i am a girl that wants/tries on a costume so she can play as a most minimal pastiche of a man#i am nothing and i am agender#i am a liar that lies about being a woman. i am still a woman when strangers perceive me as anything but (something that i want from them)#i almost feel like i prove terf's point about “poor confused girls” just by existing.#i know this is not true but holly shit actually expressing myself in the way i wouldv've wanted physically would've fucking helped#which admittedly. i dont even try with it nowadays. as much as i want it and perhaps maybe need it it feels hopeless to try#and its not even just physical part. i just dont know how to describe it#i should not just give up on it because some motherfuckers above just fuck shit up and sometimes specifically target people like me.#i should resist. and yet#the binary gender mixing with a feeling that i lie forever and ever (whish is admittedly big bc i usually dont feel bad about act of lying)#i see posts that are akin to “trans person / people please dont kill yourself we need you/you all”#and i just keep thinking why. whats the point. is it a much of a loss really if some One Random trans kills itself#or i should just rot until a day. an opportunity when i can finally make myself#and the obvious answer is that i Should work for that day to come. i in fact stoked to start hrt i am not afraid of transition#but with stuff just stacked against it. what the point#i cant in good conscious call myself trans just even in general at this rate tbh#mauv's meowing
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bonemeal12 · 5 months ago
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i wish there were more fruits to peel with a knife. Like- all the fruit I peel with a knife you can technically eat the skin off and that’s not fair. I’m so good at peeling round fruits so that their skin comes off in a long spiral. You should let me cut you some fruit. To prove that I care.
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yaoianimeremade · 10 months ago
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Soon im rly gonna do it
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#🕸️#sui mention#< in the tags tho cuz it feels nicer to talk abt this in tags than in the post itself cuz to me posts are like talking normally but tags are#like whispering? talking you can tune out if you want but whispering is rather more voluntary to say it doesnt matter however#every single year passes and i wish i didnt live in each and every one of them i feel disconnected dissatisfied empty disappointed every day#it can be a small part of a day or a bigger but its still there clenching onto me like and never letting go im tired of it theres always a#wall between me and otyer ppl im unsure if i put it there or was it put there by other ppl but its there and even if anyone tries to reach#into it do i understand how even if close are we really far away it makes me understand just how much of an abnormality i am and how much i#cant ever be like them no matter how much i try and climb and crawl until i bleed its exhausting its maddening#almost everything i do is shaped by spite i wear one bracelet for years out of spite i dont smoke out of spite i dont shave my hands not#only because im normal abt body hair but also out of spite the more i know ppl the spiteful i get only way for me to truly like someone is#to keep them at a lenght outside that wall if they get in then theres only two choices for them to dislike me or even hate my entire being#or me to shove them back out without ever letting them get in#coworkers say im a nice kind person but im not its all just a facade to make my life easier and to suit myself im hateful but i dont believe#its entirely my fault after all they will to my face make fun of. laugh at. and hate everything of me they would see in other ppl that dont#hide it deep within like i do and then it rly hits me how different abnormal foul disgusting and unnatural i am#im hit with his every talk that goes on too long every word that keeps going every touch every expression every comment made on my behalf#its exhausting to live this way i fear im near my limit i havent reached it but who knows when i will#i sometimes dream of doing it and leaving behind a note wishing nothing but painful suffering to everyone i ever knew irl but i dont want to#do that to my best friends and my dog but who knows how long its left before the thread breaks#thats all like comment and subscribe if you personally would do me a favor by taking me out back and shooting me
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karinyosa · 10 months ago
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okay the website of my local church w the pride flags out front actually really slaps they have like 5000000 choirs and a page on their specific beliefs that is pretty slay actually, unfortunately for the part of my brain that thinks choosing to do this is insane for me
#like to be honest it seems very tailored to the things i would like to get out of going to church if i were to actually follow through on#this#particularly their attitude toward doubt and sin#doubt is welcome and even an expression of faith? intriguing!#sin is a part of what makes us human? thats what i think!#i however relish in sin and this may make me incompatible with ANY church#perhaps their response would be that what i was taught was sin is not actually sin and we will see if that sticks to me or not#i dont really like the concept of sin regardless of whether god is forgiving about it or not but i guess that would lead me to the last tag#like if we can agree that certain things are bad then sure i guess theoretically i can get on board with the concept of sin#there are some reads of the bible that lean more leftist or queer that intrigue me but which i don't know much about#if anywhere's gonna be open to that it'd probably be this church#they've got a food pantry as well which is nice. like as a church you SHOULD be doing mutual aid i think but you know#i think i would always relish in being a little blasphemous though. thats the spice of life thats why im alive#im rereading this. who the fuck says relish#thank god for the industriously cautious part of my brain though because i'm doing so much fucking research before even daring to step foot#in there#on the sect and on the church itself#i think this would be very much a me reading the bible to shape it to my life and beliefs thing rather than the opposite#maybe the real reason i want to go to church is so i can dom god#karinyo.txt
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