#it can absolutely differ depending on the man but people fail to take into account the gender nonconformity of men and the fact

[wolfisland]

like if you think a femme bi woman is basically just a gender conforming straight girl you have not only some bimisogyny to unpack but some serious shit when it comes to your perception of femmes, period. go to hell.

[reap-the-game]

Let me have a bit of a ramble about the MBTI business though, you know, personality bullshit ‘cause that stuff’s always entertaining. I took the quiz for Gia that I usually use for my characters, and this is what he got:

A turbulent INTP, in short, but you may notice that basically everything is in the middle. Extra/introverted makes sense because Gia is an ambivert, so he should be somewhere around the middle for that and whether he looks more like an extravert or an introvert pretty much just depends on the day and what he was doing before you had a gander at him.

The rest, though? Man. Let’s break this down and see if it actually makes sense!

To address the intuitive vs. observant next... Honestly I can see this being fairly accurate too. If observant is “practical, pragmatic and down-to-earth“ and intuitive “imaginative, open-minded and curious“, then yes, Gia is intuitive, but when observant is “focus on what is happening or has already happened” and intuitive “prefer novelty over stability and focus on hidden meanings and future possibilities”, then no, he is not that intuitive, because his preference would be stability and routine and to an extent, focus on the present. Part of that is how distrustful and fearful of future he is, but all the same.

N vs S gets a pass, in that case! Next, thinking versus feeling. Here we have a bit stronger emphasis on thinking according to the percentages, and I do agree with this. Gia is emotional and expresses his emotions readily enough a lot of the time, but he does not value acting on his emotions. Most of the time he actively goes against what he feels because he absolutely thinks “rationality” is the way to go for his own sake. How damaging his “rational” courses of action can be towards himself is a different topic entirely, but even if his thinking can be misguided, what he prioritizes doesn’t change.

Judging vs. prospecting. If judging is “decisive, thorough and highly organized. They value clarity, predictability and closure, preferring structure and planning to spontaneity” and prospecting “good at improvising and spotting opportunities. They tend to be flexible, relaxed nonconformists who prefer keeping their options open“, then again, Gia does have features from both. I think this one comes down to who he would be if left to his own devices versus who he needs to be. He has not been given the room to be decisive, but he is relatively organized. He has needed to learn to be good at improvising and snatching opportunities when he sees them, even if “preferring to keep his options open” isn’t necessarily so him. That he was able to learn to do that, though, does say that it wasn’t unmanageably far from his personality to begin with, but I do think it possible, though not necessary, that he would lean further towards judging had he been left to live his life in Golmore.

And lastly, assertive vs. turbulent. Now this. This is absolutely a case of nature versus nurture, because Gia’s inherent inclination is to be self-assured and stress-resistant. It’s not in his nature to be a big time worrier and overachiever.

And yet, I agree that he leans more towards turbulent as things stand, because that’s what he’s been nurtured into. His life’s been shit. He has been forced to take others’ opinions of him into account to a ridiculous extent, that he never would have if it wasn’t beaten into him. It causes him stress because he’s been taught that if he fails at it, he will suffer. His emotions are all over the place on the regular because he’s lost most of his ability to effectively regulate them with how badly his surroundings affect him due to his learned fears in regards to absolutely everything and everyone.

It is not in his nature to please, yet people-pleasing is about all he does.

So yes, this actually does make some sense! Wasn’t expecting that, honestly.

[maxwell-grant]

Having asked your thoughts on designing Frankenstein's daemon, might I now ask your thoughts on bringing Count Dracula from the written word into illustration? (I'm definitely in favour of the 'Hairy Old Mountain Man of Horror pretending he's people' look from the original novel; one of the small tests too many Draculas fail to pass is an absolutely tragic lack of the Evil Beard and/or Wicked Moustache explicitly described by Mr Stoker).

Unlike with Frankenstein, where I think the design needs to be painstakingly thought out in order to achieve the best balance of the creature's traits for horror and tragedy alike, I think with Dracula you can actually just take an approach of "whatever works". Because as I mentioned before, I think much of the appeal and longevity of Dracula is how the character's both a layered villain as well as a shapeshifting narrative force that can be tailored to whatever you want to do with. Granted, there are bad or dissappointing Dracula designs, of course there are, but in regards to the leeway you get for reinterpretation, you get a lot more of it with Dracula than with other literary icons.

Like with Frankenstein, I'm gonna bring up how I'd tackle a less grim, more comedy-centric Dracula first, one that's less a force of horror and more of a charismatic villain, and I think to that end I definitely agree that people are sleeping a lot on the hairy old man barely-passing-off-as-humanoid of the original story. Despite very much loving these performers, I'm actually not a fan of takes that mold Dracula too closely to people who've portrayed him, like Bela Lugosi and Christopher Lee, partially because I think it's a waste of an opportunity to create your own Dracula design. Since I can't draw (yet), I'll do what I usually do and make a board of images to try and convey some of my thoughts on one way I'd design Dracula.

(Pictured: Kiwi's design for Dracula, Hotel Transylvania concept art, Nandor, Castlevania Dracula, Charles Dance in Dracula Untold, Vladislav, a Transylvanian rug)

I used the images in my other Dracula post and I’ll post it here again because I absolutely adore @kiwibyrd's designs for Dracula and it's main heroes, in particular I love the way it strikes a good balance at making sure Dracula looks distinctly separate from the humans, but not too much that he couldn't conceivably operate in society as just a harmless old man. I also adore the mustache and bushy eyebrows and pointy ears and I think these three are wonderful features to keep on any Dracula design. I'm also very partial to the Hotel Transylvania concept art, even if it makes me incredibly depressed to look at all the great designs they had for Dracula that they threw in the trash because they somehow decided making him look like Adam Sandler was the idea to go with.

I deeply adore What We Do In The Shadows, both the movie and the show, and Jemaine Clement's Vladislav is one of my favorite (maybe even my actual favorite) on-screen Draculas. But I also enjoy Nandor just as much, and I think it's really great that as a character he's completely different from Vlad while also being ostensibly a take on Dracula, and in particular I bring up his Jersey look because "Dracula in common clothing" is a criminally underrated concept for a joke.

As a character, I'm very partial to comedy takes on Dracula that play him up as a decadent aristocratic supervillain, the kind that can get away with talking in third person. I also have this idea for a version of Dracula who dresses ostentatiously in finely-broidered Romanian or Transylvanian patterns, maybe even wearing a rug as a cape, claiming that he's carrying the legacy of his people on his back. And of course he's lying, he's not Vlad Tepes and he's not even Romanian, he is just a parasite pretending to have a history to be proud of, but good luck getting him to admit that. And finally, I'd like this version to be played by Charles Dance, and I consider it a tremendous crime against humanity that he has yet to play Dracula proper even despite being in a film with the character's name on the title.

So that's kinda how I would design a take on Dracula for something more comedic or more based around him as this guest character and personality on-set. Now, if we're talking a more serious version, I think the possibilities increase, and I won't be getting into all of them because I may prefer to keep them to myself, but I'll elaborate a few ideas.

For example, the edition of Dracula I personally own comes with these really scratchy, really creepy B&W illustrations related to the story, that I can't find scanned online so I'm uploading them here so you can look at. They don't necessarily depict the scenes but rather some of the story's moments, like Van Helsing staking Lucy, Renfield in a straightjacket, Dracula as a coachman, and they are more focused on conveying the horror of the concepts at play.

Dracula never looks the same way in any of the illustrations, in fact you kinda have to piece him out of them by trying to find teeth or capes or eyes or bat-features to see where he's hiding this time. In the first, it's the half-man half-bat, in the 2nd, he's the shrieking bat silhouette next to Renfield, and in the latter, he's the gaping jaws and eerily humanoid eyes in the wolf. The effect to me almost feels like if you were to look at a bunch of tv static and then see a humanoid shape form for a split second before everything went back to normal, something like you'd get from Slender Man or other modern creepypastas, and I’ve argued before that Dracula’s form of horror is a very modern one. 

In terms of illustrations of Dracula that keep up the original traits while still pulling off horror, I definitely have to hand it to the one at the left of the image above, drawn by regourso on Deviantart (account deleted at present). Going back to Castlevania’s many takes on Dracula, two in particular that stick out to me would be Castlevania: Judgment’s armored dress Dracula, who’s got this great twisted heart/rose motif going on in his outfit, and Dracula’s final form in SOTN where he just sits in his throne and his cape twists into all these monsters, particularly how it’s depicted by witnesstheabsurd’s depiction. 

I’m not particularly a fan of how Dracula’s “final form” in these games is usually just some big demon, and part of what I like about his final form in SOTN instead is that, while it’s not a particularly challenging final boss, I do find it interesting the idea of us never actually getting to see what Dracula’s true final form looks like, only an ever-shifting pitch-black torrent of teeth and claws and bloody veins pouring out because that’s ultimately what Dracula is and brings to the world.

On the flip-side of the rotten old monster, we have the charming seductor Dracula, and while I’m really not a fan of how various adaptations have convinced people that “the point” of Dracula is that he’s a seductive force and an allegory for Victorian xenophobia and I’m reeeally even less of a fan of adaptations that make Dracula some misunderstood tragic hero (and I think I’ve made rather violently clear my feelings on interpretations that play up a romance between him and Mina), that the seductive force part exists is impossible to deny, so conversely, while on one hand we can have Dracula as the gargantuan whirlwind of predatory violence, we can also go for Dracula as the tantalizing lover.

I’ve seen a lot of opinions proclaiming Frank Langella as the best Dracula because he was the best at actually being seductive while still playing Dracula, although I haven’t yet seen his performances. If I had to point at one picture I look at and do buy for a second the idea of Dracula as a romantic character, it would be that particular still of Raul Julia in the left of the above image. And it’s strange for me to think of Raul Julia as attractive because I mainly associate him with his brilliant comedy performance of M.Bison (I know it’s far from the highlight of his career but, look, I grew up with Street Fighter, I can’t help it) but those eyes are definitely looking pretty convincing to me, if nothing else. 

And I’ve included this still of Sebastian Stan in the right because, during a conversation between me, @krinsbez and @jcogginsa about who could be a good fit for Dracula, jcog suggested Sebastian Stan, partially because he’s Romanian, and I’ve learned recently that Stan was actually interested in playing the character in Blumhouse’s upcoming remake. And you’d think I’d hate this idea  considering how much I don’t care for tragic anti-hero Draculas, but who says that’s what he’d have to play? 

Do you have any idea how much actors, who are traditionally known for heroic or supporting roles, usually LOVE it when you give them a chance to cut loose as the main villain?

I’d want Sebastian Stan to put all of his charm, all of his talent, all of his good looks and etc, into playing the absolute most vicious, bloodthirsty and irredeemable Dracula put on screen. Someone who is exceedingly, eerily good at being a lovable protagonist, who’s all smiles and charming eyes and politeness mannerisms and maybe even a funny accent, and then it isn't as funny when he's flying through your window intent on kidnapping babies to feed to his brides, except he may take a moment or two to do so because he's feeling pretty hungry himself right now.

Now, admittedly this is kind of a lot to juggle in regards to a single character, which is why my answer for questions like these inevitably has to be “depends on what I’m going for”. That being said, if I was going to try and cast someone who I think could both look the part of Dracula, as well as respectively, play “cartoon aristocrat” Dracula, “mercurial embodiment of evil” Dracula, as well as realistically be an attractive, even seductive performer who can charm viewers even as the character descends into horrible villainy, and juggle these performances even?

I think I’d have to go with Mads Mikkelsen. Not specifically because of Hannibal (I actually haven’t watched it yet), although it’s definitely a factor, the thing that actually made me pick him specifically is, other than his looks, his voice, his reputation for playing sinister characters, the fact that he loves the role and wants to play it, or how many people are deeply in love with this man, or that people already joke that he looks like a vampire, was watching him in Another Round, and specifically that glorious final scene where he’s just dancing to his heart’s content and just, moving with such spring in his step and such joyful vitality even though he’s past his mid-fifties, and that was the moment where, in regards to how much you all love this man, I went

And now I am going to add “casting Mads Mikkelsen as a dancing Dracula” to The List of Reasons Why I Became a Filmmaker.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 303: And What, Pray Tell, Is a “One For All”

Previously on BnHA: The Todorokis (really just Enji) looked at their children and went “how can we screw up all four of them in uniquely different ways” and proceeded to do just that. Touya was all “just because practicing how to set myself on fire better hasn’t worked to win my dad’s affections YET doesn’t mean it will NEVER work”, because child logic. Turns out setting oneself on fire real hard isn’t so effective at winning affections, but is actually incredibly effective when it comes to burning oneself to death, so there’s that. Back in the present day, the Todorokis basked in their various misplaced (again, except for Enji) feelings of guilt, and were all “anyway but get over yourself already Enji, you still have to do something to stop this kid”, and Shouto was all “I’ll help too”, and Enji was all “(╥_╥)”, and Hawks and Jeanist were all “[surreptitiously listening in from outside the door]”, and that’s basically where we left off.

Today on BnHA: Hawks and Jeanist are all “mind if we join you on this family journey?” and proceed to stroll in uninvited with their puns and their perceptive insights. Hawks is all “so to sum everything up, we’re fucked, but at least you have us here to help you out! by the way, no clue why I’m the first person to ask this in three hundred chapters, but wtf is One For All.” We then cut to Deku, who’s still all “[(－－)]z”, and All Might, who is all “I’m just going to ignore the extremely loud racket going on right outside this room.” Which, btw, is happening on account of Bakugou, who is all “(╬◣Д◢)” as Satou, Tsuyu, and Mineta cart him away. Anyway so that’s a lot of antics, and also it looks like Hawks has gotten tired of the Todorokis refusing to put the pieces together on their own about OFA and so he is fast-tracking that shit. And meanwhile Deku is chatting it up with the Vestiges exactly like we all thought. And now we have to wait another whole week for updates on all of this. This really is not fair.

omfg lol

“our bad, we were kind of accidentally listening in on purpose.” like I said last week guys, no fuss. it’s a tradition

OMG

I am absolutely fucking floored. Hawks literally said that so casually that it’s impossible for me to rewrite it so as to be even more casual. that’s literally what I would write in the “today on bnha” section. in fact I probably will write that

(ETA: just for laughs I tried it and it really worked.)

a couple more things to point out about this panel: 

“TOP 3” omg yes. more like “top only” at this point, honestly. interested to see how that goes

Hawks’s phone is freaking the fuck out about something, calm down there

I know this is a standard Jeanist hair-fixing gesture that he does all the time, but I can’t help but form hypotheses about this being a stress reaction because Hawks’s hair is making him internally freak out. Hawks, if this man tries to get you alone with him and some hairspray and a comb, please for the love of god do not listen to him. get out of there and call the authorities

omg Shouto’s face

okay confession, I wasn’t really sold on the whole “Shouto has a schoolboy crush on Hawks” thing until exactly now, when I became 100% sold on it. that is adorable

and heck with it, gotta show Enji and Rei’s reactions here as well because lol

“omg my son who’s not my son, and he just overheard everything about me being a terrible shitty father and person overall, oh and plus my actual-son set him on fire and called him out on a national broadcast. I’m just gonna stare at him baffledly.” versus Rei, who is all “hmm, who are these people”

so Hawks is all “I got released from the hospital after one day for some reason so I made Jeanist drive me around places while we talked about life” but uh, heyyyyy, what’s Rei doing

okay, uh

SO FUCKING FORMAL OMFG. “SORRY MY KID TRIED TO BURN YOU TO DEATH, APPARENTLY HE DOES THAT” REI NO IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT

HAWKS IS ALL “I’M JUST GONNA LAUGH SINCE THAT’S MY DEFAULT RESPONSE TO BEING PROFOUNDLY UNCOMFORTABLE”

let me tell you a secret Hawks, it’s my default response too. ahahahahahahaha oh thank god Jeanist is helping her up -- AND MAKING A JEANS PUN, OF COURSE. IT’S BEEN ALMOST THIRTY SECONDS. MY MAN WAS DYING

“WTF IS ILLEGAL DENIM” he’s talking ‘bout them counterfeit jeans, Rei. Antoine Bugleboy knows

THANK YOU JEANIST!! OUT HERE ASKING THE RELEVANT QUESTIONS

damn straight. we’re not gonna sit around waiting another 300 chapters for this information on this man’s watch

now Hawks is telling Endeavor he used to watch videos of him all the time, and calling him his “childhood obsession” I can’t

OH MY SWEET STARS AND MOONS

1000% CANON. “SO CLOSE...” ARE YOU SERIOUS. YOU REALLY PUT THAT THOUGHT BUBBLE THERE AND EVERYTHING. “GOOD MORNING EVERYONE, SO JUST IN CASE YOU WEREN’T ALREADY AWARE, TODOROKI SHOUTO IS NOT ACTUALLY STRAIGHT.” HORIKOSHI KOUHEI I AM LITERALLY DUMBFOUNDED. THIS IS AMAZING

and meanwhile that look on Hawks’s face while he casually-but-not-really-casually-at-all asks this question. that phone app better be using his actual voice. I’m not sure I could take this scene in the anime at this point if it was like Alexa talking or something

that look in his eyes is basically saying that so far, based on the information he has absorbed up until this point, Hawks is prepared to view his former childhood obsession as a flawed but changed man. however I get the distinct feeling that depending on Endeavor’s answer now, he would be willing to drastically shift some of his opinions on him

(ETA: this is maybe my favorite panel in the entire chapter. the fact that his question isn’t addressed to anyone in particular, but his eyes are zeroing on on Endeavor. and the way his leaning-on-Shouto pose manages to be simultaneously nonchalant and yet ever-so-slightly protective. there’s so much going on in this one question and gesture and I’m mildly obsessed with it.)

however, Rei is all “that was me” and ONCE AGAIN WITH THE FACES IN THIS CHAPTER holy shit

Hawks definitely did not see that one coming sob. it’s so fun watching him frantically recalculate his ideas about this family every two seconds

DAMN IT HORIKOSHI I UNDERSTOOD THE PARALLELS ALREADY, YOU REALLY DIDN’T HAVE TO DO THIS

yes, Hawks, you get it. it’s not exactly the same, but it’s close enough. though unlike your shitty parents, Rei and Enji are at least trying

OKAY I SERIOUSLY CANNOT WITH ALL OF THIS

fljkdlaskfjlwkjl okay we’re doing the bullet-points breakdown here

first of all, the fact that poor little Shouto’s heart is still thumping away at this proximity and all he can think is “CLOSE” all intelligently as he stares at him with that face omg

and meanwhile Horikoshi has these STRATEGIC BANDAGES WRAPPED AROUND HIS CHEEKS TO HIDE ALL OF HIS SHOUJO BLUSHING omfg. SENPAI NOTICED YOU SWEETIE!!!

HAWKS YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY ZERO OBLIGATION TO WASTE ANOTHER SECOND OF YOUR LIFE WORRYING ABOUT THESE TWO ASSHOLES WHO NEVER SPARED YOU THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF REGARD OR CONCERN IN THEIR ENTIRE LIVES. THE NICEST THING YOUR MOM EVER DID FOR YOU WAS BUY YOU A $2 ENDEAVOR PLUSH FROM THE DISCOUNT BIN TO KEEP YOU QUIET, AND YOU WERE SO AWED BY THAT ONE ACT OF SORTA KINDA APPROXIMATE KINDNESS THAT YOU SHAPED YOUR ENTIRE WORLDVIEW AROUND IT. PLEASE LET ME PICK YOU UP IN A BIG HUG FOR JUST A SEC, YOU DESERVE THE WORLD AND YOU WERE ONE THOUSAND PERCENT JUSTIFIED IN LEAVING THEM IN THE DUST THE SECOND THAT YOU COULD

but all that said, he immediately recognizes that Shouto would also have had cause to do the same in his situation, and yet hasn’t. and so he has that much more admiration for him all of a sudden, which is just super sweet, and fully appropriate. Shouto does deserve props. I’m choosing to take this as an “it takes a lot of strength to be able to forgive, and people who choose to do that even though they’re not obligated to are really amazing" type of thing, as opposed to “people who don’t forgive other people who severely wronged them are bad.” and if I’m wrong and Hawks’s line here is meant to be seen as actual failing on his part, well then fuck that, but we’ll move on

SO NOW, DOWN TO BUSINESS!

I am so, so curious as to what kind of strategy Hawks has for this (if he even has any), so I’ll just be quiet now and read

so Hawks is summing up basically what we already knew -- that Tomura and his inner circle (curious that there’s no mention of AFO, because if Hawks doesn’t know about him, that implies almost no one does) are still on the lam with a few PLF stragglers and some High Ends; that a bunch of prisons have been “liberated” (I assume this means all of the inmates escaped, so if that’s the case then where’s Kurogiri??); that the HPSC is fucked; and that heroes are resigning all over the place, and so civilians are taking matters into their own hands

OH DAMN!?

does this mean we’ll actually see some international heroes?? I will LOSE MY DAMN SHIT omg

(ETA: apparently people who paid more attention to the first BnHA movie than I did recognized the silhouettes as belonging to some background characters from Two Heroes. so maybe they were just cameos and they’re not actually new characters who are soon to join us lol. oh well.)

anyway so Hawks agrees with the other Todorokis that Endeavor has no choice but to fight

awww

DON’T WORRY ENJI THEY’VE GOT YOUR BACK. WITH YOUR FLAMES, AND JEANIST’S PUNS, AND HAWKS’S BOYISHLY GOOD LOOKS, THE THREE OF YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MINDS TO

so Enji is very pertinently asking why they’re standing by him in spite of the... [gestures vaguely to everything]

oh my lordy lord

Shouto you had better do something to combat this soon, or this man will sneak past you on my favorite character ranking after all. his face. his cheeky lil finger gun. the fact that he sums it up so fucking simply. “if someone is trying to do the right thing, I want to support them.” exactly. exactly

(ETA: and one last thing I love but forgot to mention, which is the fact that Hawks calls it a team-up despite the fact that he is clearly in charge.)

meanwhile Jeanist is all “as for me, at this point I just straight up don’t give a fuck”

I can’t handle how fucking cool this chapter is you guys

so Hawks is all “you good?” at Enji. and Enji...

if anyone needs me, I will be building myself a discourse-proof fort made entirely out of problematic characters. I don’t even care. I will go on living my life very happily in here

lol at Natsu being all “BUT DON’T THINK THIS MAKES US FRIENDS”

I’m living for this weird and no-doubt entirely unintended implication that Natsu and them all are gonna join in the fight with the rest of them. I mean, they do presumably all have very powerful ice quirks. and Natsu has medical training on top of that, and Fuyu is skilled at getting eight-year-olds to behave which could be a useful talent for dealing with Tomura hahaha I kid, but I’M JUST SAYING. who needs hero licenses anyway

OH SHIT FINALLY SOME DISCUSSION OF AN ACTUAL STRATEGY. even if it’s just a PR strategy

WHAKLHL

and now for some reason we’re flashing back to Natsu and Fuyu’s attempts to navigate through the media crowd outside the hospital

well I guess this is why I’m not the mangaka. if I were writing this I would have done something trite and predictable like using that “One for All” line as an excuse to cut to Deku!! as opposed to this entirely unrelated scene!!

seriously though why do we need to see this lol

no one in this crowd has ever heard of Alexander Dumas huh. or even the popular 2007 Disney Channel original movie, High School Musical 2

so now there’s an entire page of Hawks saying they need to know what One for All is, and Endeavor having one of those patented Todoroki WHOOSH realizations lmao look at this

just wait until this man figures out that one of the scrappy new interns he took on three months ago was actually the main character all along

SKDFIOHWIERLKSJGLWLK!!

NOW IS PROBABLY A GOOD TIME TO ASK MYSELF WHY I CHOSE THIS CHARACTER WHO KEEPS DISAPPEARING FOR SIX OR TWELVE OR FORTY CHAPTERS AT A TIME TO BE MY FUCKING FAVORITE. WELCOME BACK SON PLEASE DON’T SCREAM YOURSELF TO DEATH YOU STILL HAVE A HOLE IN YOUR TORSO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

(ETA: can we just take a moment to appreciate how Bakugou even got so close to Deku’s room in the first place though. in this giant hospital with no idea of where to even go. does he have Deku Radar or something.)

YOU SIX ARE OFFICIALLY ON MY HIT LIST!! SPARE ME YOUR GOOD INTENTIONS!! MY BAKUDEKU REUNION KEEPS GETTING POSTPONED WEEK AFTER WEEK!! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE HEROES WHERE IS YOUR CONCEPT OF MERCY

(ETA: btw just to be clear, I’m not actually angry lol; it makes total sense that they don’t want this rampaging feral toddler who was still in his own coma all of fifteen minutes ago to come and start screaming at the other coma child until he tears all his stitches out. if there’s anything we Bakugou fans should be familiar with by now, it’s being patient.)

also, Tsuyu wrapping her tongue around Bakugou’s still-healing torso wound absolutely can’t be hygienic at all. also wait is that Inko??

(ETA: pretty sure it is her. she got all of one line smdh.)

Iida is all “thank god Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight pulled through, I thought for sure he was a goner back there”

for the record this is actually really sweet to see how relieved he is. he’s one of the few people who saw the original injury close up, back when he was still at the battlefield and unconscious, so I imagine it really did freak him out quite a bit

JIROUUUUUU

“sometimes I just like to stand here and tug on my imaginary suspenders, what of it”

how come you guys get to loiter around Deku’s room but Kacchan doesn’t. god fucking dammit. AND WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN

I BET KACCHAN COULD WAKE HIM UP FROM HIS COMA WITH THE POWER OF RIVAL INTENSITY!! BUT NOOOOOOOO, [is dragged away back to my fort]

OH MY GOD!?!

"this seems to be an entirely normal and above-board situation that we have just stumbled onto”

I see Jeanist comes from the Iida Tenya school of respectfully using people’s full names

Jeanist becoming one of the main characters is the best thing to ever happen to this series

EXCUSE YOU, IIDA

BUT I’M SURE HE’D MAKE AN EXCEPTION FOR KACCHAN THOUGH!! [elbowing my way back out of the fort] HAWKS, PLEASE --

DON’T GO ALL OMINIOUSLY PUTTING THE PIECES TOGETHER ALL ON YOUR OWN GODDAMMIT

“there’s absolutely no way this angry wriggling shoulder burrito kid here could answer literally all of my questions, so I’ll just ignore him”

OH MY GOD WE’RE FINALLY CUTTING BACK TO HIM BUT THE CHAPTER IS ENDING

[jumps up, throws a folding chair at Iida and the rest of the gang, and then runs]

oh my god. actually this chapter was awesome. but I’m so fucking mad at this cliffhanger though lol

at least we got a couple of answers! and some hints and teases! poor Deku looks so worn out even though he’s asleep dlwkjl my little green baby. and is it just me or is his quirk activated?? All Might’s all “I can feel it” as if it isn’t obvious just looking at him, why are you trying to be all mysterious dude

anyway! so at least we finally have confirmation and a date for those vestige antics at long last. looking forward to meeting Mister The Fourth next week so we can finally ask him “hey dude, what the fuck”

[junicai]

Relationship with NCT 127

➣ Taeil ☾ taria 

taeil is the Sole Protector of aria’s sanity 

taeil loves his maknaes so much, but he literally looks at her like she put the stars in the sky 

the Proud Dad smile :’)

when aria first debuted, czennies thought that she was the same age as jungwoo - because she acted older than her age - but with taeil she lets her inner kid come out 

highkey dependent on his approval for things in relation to singing

“was, was that ok?” “perfect, ari.”  “ (O_O;)  - (◕‿◕)♡”

she will fight mark and donghyuck for his attention, and she will win

for a while, the two had shared a dorm room before they were rearranged, and taeil let her slip into his bed when she was feeling homesick 

the offer is still open, but aria takes him up on it less and less

taeil is NOT sad about that. absolutely not.

he’s vehemently against any and all diets she tries - saying that if she gets any smaller he’s going to be able to pick her up with one hand

que him dragging her out for ice-cream after a promotion, paying no mind to her protests

aria helps taeil with translating a lot of things into english during lives and interviews - so much to the point where he’s picked up a bit of an irish accent and the others never fail to clown him for it 

taeil still has the small braided bracelet that aria gave to the members on their first anniversary of nct (he keeps it in the drawer beside his bed)

aria is his self-professed happy virus. he told czennies in a vlive once that her smile makes him feel really happy and he wants to protect it to the best of his ability

aria always fixes his micpack before they go onstage if its crooked, because she comes out after him in the lineup

they have monthly movie nights and they alternate who chooses the movie / show (taeil normally goes for mystery or drama themed ones, while aria enjoys making them both sob miserably)

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

aria and taeil singing “I See the Light” from tangled for the NCT Music channel, and the tears that were shed by both moonis and realtai alike. sm really popped off with the staging and the lighting of the whole video - between the smiles that were on both of the singers faces and the whole ambiance created, its a cinematic masterpiece 

no one was surprised when it hit 2 million views in a day, and a lot of solo stans were born from that video

➣ Johnny ☾ johria

indisputable siblings 

there is not a single czennie who ships these two romantically, and that’s because they’re just too wholesome 

johnny is one of the few members that aria calls “oppa”, mainly because of the age gap and sm wanted her to appear respectful, but also because he thinks she looks so cute

very chill, excellent vibes

their vlives are either chaotic messes or the closest thing to therapy since ice cubes 

the blanket on aria’s bed? that was a gift from johnny - she had been complaining to mark about how cold she always was anemia tings

czennies are begging for sm to allow aria to open up a solo instagram account, becuse they see the amount of pictures johnny takes of her

in the park? he’s making her pose in front of the flowers. backstage before a show? the lighting, c’mon.

big big bear hugs - the height difference make nctzens want to die 

185cm vs 158cm? p l e a s e she’s so tiny in comparison  (/ =ω=)/

when she gives him backhugs it looks like a little kitten trying to wrestle with the family dog 

play fighting about vernacular:

“ITS CALLED A SIDEWALK” “S I D E W A L K, ITS A FOOTPATH YOU BUFFOON”

very vocal about her wellbeing, and has asked fans before to remind her to take better care of herself and get to sleep sooner

aria, starting a vlive at 3am: hi hi~

the comments: NO GO TO BED

johnny helped her a lot when it came to the style change in choreography, as aria was used to soft, flowing movements and not the powerful, sleek style that most nct dances have 

consistently forgets the fact that she is not the fourteen year old he first met, and is, in fact, an adult now. “you’re a child” “im 18″ “...no”

is the person to get angry on her behalf when interviewers belittle or ignore her 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

during a fansign, a fan asked aria who did she think was the most comforting when she was stressed (besides mark and donghyuck) and aria said johnny. “he’s so, constant? like nothing seems to knock him or throw him off, and that’s really comforting when i feel unsteady.”

johnny is now known as aria’s weighted blanket. 

that is all. 

➣ Taeyong ☾ ariyong

taeyong took one look at aria the first time she showed up for group practice and immediately adopted her (not literally, but he would if he could)

eomma meets highly protective older brother meets life coach type beat? 

so so soft for her its sickening 

says he doesn’t have favourites and will then spend an hour cooking for aria because she’s been in the studio for the whole day and he knows she hasn’t eaten yet

when aria was given a duet to do for the sm stages, she had to pick another member to do it with and her first choice was taeyong

she always has said that taeyong is one of the pillars keeping her upright and sane - without him she wasn’t sure if she would have been able to complete her training

because of all the schedules they share together, if aria isn’t rooming with mark then she’s definitely rooming with taeyong

whenever she does his makeup (more often than you’d think) she point blank refuses to cover his scar, even when he asks her to 

“please? i don’t like it.” *gasp* “how dare you.” 

sleepy aria! snuggling into taeyong’s shoulder when a schedule ran late! 

he gets uncomfy when the stylists put her in too revealing clothes, and has spoken to them on numerous occasions about dressing her in age-appropriate attire, no matter how “sexy” the concept might be 

he keeps little bags of sugar-dusted strawberry sweets in his bag incase she forgets to eat and feels faint after the last time (they used to be blueberry flavoured, but he heard donghyuck throwing out any and all “blueberry-contaminated” food one evening)

taeyong doesn’t tolerate hate towards aria, especially in person, so he always makes sure to sit down the line from her so that he can see when people skip intentionally her

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

taeyong had just been awarded the solo bedroom on the last night of the Mtopia series, and was staring off into the corner looking rather uncomfortable. aria, who was meant to be rooming with baekhyun looked over and saw his mouth curled downwards slightly. 

“baekhyun-oppa, is it ok if i room with taeyongie-oppa tonight? i ran out of my tablets, and he has some in his bag..” 

baekhyun looked down at her with a small smile and agreed, while on the video edited captions appeared with the words, “a cute maknae, asking to room with a younger member...”

➣ Yuta ☾ nakamiya

the president of realtai 

this man is absolutely, completely and irrevocably whipped for aria and she is not afraid to use that to her advantage

she beat him at arm wrestling because she pouted at him - she’s too powerful 

aria.exe stopped responding when yuta started to playfully flirt with her the first few times

*winks* “hu-wha-”

one of the most outwardly protective members of her, because he feels a sense of responsibility for the younger girl

he was one of the trainees she first befriended, aria’s korean not being good enough to hold a decent conversation, and yuta happy that there was another japanese trainee 

9 times out of 10, when the members are making their way through crowded areas like airports yuta is always behind or directly beside aria

during a fansign one of the fans asked why he did that, and he said that he needed to keep her in his line of sight or else he’d get anxious that she’s so small that she could get swallowed in the crowds 

yes aria hit him for the short comment 

yuta, 50% of the time: you’re not allowed date until you’re 35

yuta, the other 50% of the time: bro where’s your boyfriend

he complains that she isn’t as sweet as she was when she first joined, and that hyuck must have corrupted her (╬ Ò﹏Ó)

he let’s her braid his hair when its longer, them both sitting on a bed with yuta in front and aria kneeling behind him so she can reach 

he was the first person to take her home for the holidays, because ireland was too far to go back for a week over christmas 

“what do you mean you’ve never been to japan???” 

bitching about the other members in japanese? more likely than you’d think 

when aria turned legal in korea, yuta took her out drinking and made sure to post pictures of her with her flushed cheeks on his instagram story with the caption “aish, i told you to pace yourself....” “happy birthday riri”

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

you know that one clip of the sasaeng getting absolutely trashed by nct’s bodyguard and taeyong jumping 7 feet into the air? 

well taeyong wasn’t the only one startled; standing beside yuta, aria was closest to the wall of fans when the girl ran forward towards the members. aria jumped in fright, while yuta barely made a face (#unbothered). he simply wrapped an arm over her shoulders and pulled her around to the other side, tucking her underneath his arm.

tsundere!yuta

➣ Doyoung ☾ dori

*ahem* WHIPPED *ahem*

doyoung adores aria so much 

was he unsure about a girl being added to a group of boys? yes but it was moreso concern about how he was going to make sure she wasn’t accidentally trampled

they bonded over a night in the recording studio when he found her sitting on the floor with music sheets scattered around her 

a whole mentor when it comes to singing 

aria always turns to him after singing - especially when it wasn’t planned, like at a fansign - to see if she did a good job

doyoung has yet to tell her that she hasn’t but sue her, she appreciates the validation

the original mother and Will Not Let Taeyong Forget It

doyoung, dragging aria out of the studio: now listen here young lady-

kitten and bunny friends RISE

no seriously sm released merch of a kitten and bunny plushie and it sold out in a day

when aria had the accident that led to her two month hiatus, doyoung was the one who rode in the ambulance with her after refusing to let go of her hand 

“i’m sorry sir, only family are allowed in at the moment-” “we are her family” *nurse looks around the room at the 14 other boys sitting anxiously*

he is a weak, weak man he will crumple on any decision if she smiles and slash or whines at him even slightly 

carries band-aids and support strapping in his practice bag because he knows that she gets really bad blisters when she hasn’t practiced while wearing her heels in a while, and he makes her wrap her ankles for the first few sessions incase she falls 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENTS.

NCT 127 Take a Friendship Test (Glamour - 2020)

“ahh, my first impression?” *laughs* “actually, we first met in a recording studio, at like. 3 o’clock in the morning? he stuck his head in the doorway and i was so tired that i thought i had died and an angel had come to save me...”  (*μ_μ) 

➣ Jaehyun ☾ jaria

you know how cheetahs in the zoo get emotionally support puppies?

this is the same type of vibe

very snuggly together? but only in specific scenarios, like when jaehyun is too tired to move after a movie night, he’ll just kinda engulf aria in a hug and make her sleep on the couch with him 

any back hug she gives him turns into a piggy back, its non-negotiable 

likes to randomly compliment her to see how red he can make her face go

did she have a crush on him when she first moved to korea? yes, but who didn’t

that faded really quickly though once she started into the group officially - now they are more like siblings

they don’t interact that much on camera? rip to the jaria shippers

but that doesn’t mean they aren’t close with each other its just that a lot of their interactions happen off-screen

naturally, jaehyun began to think of her as a younger sister over the years they performed together 

jaehyun will end anybody who lays a hand on aria 

a little bap bap if you will 

he asked her to take him ice-skating one day, and the entire time was spent with aria laughing her ass off as he ate the ice nearly fourteen times before getting the hang of it 

he takes her out for food when he notices that she’s been put back on a strict diet plan (aria thinks she’s good at hiding those pieces of paper, but she forgets that when she puts it on top of things, that other people are a lot taller than her and have a higher vantage point)

the prince and princess of nct? check 

head pats

he likes to pat her head and she’ll swat it away immediately until she gets tired and just lets him do his thing 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

jaehyun was wearing a flower crown placed carefully on his head as he bent down slightly to run his hands through the damp grass. a soft shutter sound went off, before he heard a hum coming from behind him. “jaehyun-ssi, could you take off the flowers? we can’t see your face clearly because of the shadow.”

jaehyun glanced backwards at aria’s retreating figure, being chased by donghyuck with hands still stained green from the grass she had shifted through to find the fallen flowers. she stopped and waved at him before resuming her run.

“i’d rather not, if that’s alright. i think it fits quite well with the theme.”

➣ Jungwoo ☾ ariwoo

oh my god someone please stop these two

once jungwoo taught aria about the power that aegyo holds for persuasion tactics against the older members of 127, they were unstoppable 

you should be afraid of them

100% have plotted someone’s murder before (and have succeeded, czennies always wondered where that last manager went after The Incident)

aggressively cute together - to the point where your teeth will rot 

jungwoo will intentionally flirt with aria just to fluster her because its “so easy to do”

not very physically affectionate, but jungwoo has no hesitation calling out “uri fighting haeyadwae!” to her when she looks like she needs a little encouragement 

jungwoo is the reason she wants to do a bachelors degree after finishing high school 

he used to help her with her maths assignments after school when she was struggling with managing her time 

they’re called the “aegyo duo” of the group, and there has yet to be an outright winner of the competitions to find the cutest member (its aria. jungwoo said it himself, its aria but we been knew)

they have an odd dynamic of looking like best friends the first second, evil masterminds the next and then siblings who want to murder each other but they make it work 

will and has flopped down on her while she was laying on the practice floor and then whined when she tried to get up 

he spilled the tea that aria gets super emotional and affectionate when she’s drunk 

cutest shit ever that made ariwoo shippers lose their absolute minds was the clip that got released in the behind the scenes filming of Kick It, where jungwoo was half asleep in the corner and aria just pops up out of nowhere to shove a folded jacket under his head and made sure to prop it in a way that he wouldn’t get a sore neck when he woke up

jungwoo is the reason she knows korean curse words (dont tell doyoung)

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

aria wobbled in her heels slightly as she stepped out of the van, trying to hold a blanket up to protect her legs while she slid off the seat onto the ground. jungwoo extended an arm around her waist, gripping the blanket in his other hand and carefully holding her to make sure she didn’t trip on the cobbled stone.

➣ Mark ☾ mari

1/2 of the best friend crew

honestly at the beginning, mark and aria weren’t very close, having only really seen each other in passing or with johnny 

but after being dropped into training together the two quickly became fast friends, and now they’re borderline inseparable 

you thought you knew pain? watch aria’s reaction to mark’s graduation from dream :)

mark’s the reason why aria felt confident enough to pitch some of her lyric ideas to the team, after staying up until 4am to help her make some edits so she was as confident as possible 

kinda just, rests his head on her shoulder? and wraps his arms around her waist when he’s tired 

mari being confused in foreigner: ??? 

aria said once in a vlive that she finds mark really comforting to be around - when she feels stressed or worried about something she’ll go to mark’s room and just sit on his bed for a while

aria is so close with his parents - “ahh, how’s my favourite child” “i’m doing great mom.” “no not you, how’s aria?” “wh-hu-MOM?” 

you’d swear sometimes mark is younger than her, considering the pout he puts on and how much he whines when they’re not on the same team together for promotions

mark big protecc boi but also little small cuddly boi 

they’re so soft for each other ( ╥ω╥ )

in one of the fancams for mark’s solo stage during superm, someone zoomed into aria singing along with him in the wings and dancing to herself with the Proudest Smile(tm)

he’s! so! proud! of! her! constantly! she could be walking and he’d be like “omg get it” 

when aria refuses to get up and make herself food (this happens way too often, she just gets into the groove of her work and doesn’t want to move) mark gets her to by threatening to do it himself 

consistently caught by czennies just standing behind her and holding her hand in crowded areas - airports, waiting rooms, etc. 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

mark and aria were standing off to one side as the mc explained the rules of the game they were about to be playing. mark looked totally confused, and elbowed aria in her side before looking down and mouthing “what?” to her. aria opened her mouth, before closing it and looking down at the ground, muttering to herself, “결합... 結合..... le chéile.... le... le.. oh oh - combined! we have to put them together, markie.”

and thus, a new confusion meme was born

➣ Haechan ☾ arichan

the other half of the best friend crew

absolute heathens to be around when they are together 

donghyuck is the person aria is closest to, and someone she’d call her best friend (only when she was sure he wouldn’t hear her)

she calls him “the demon child i can’t get rid of” but will, and has definitely pouted when he ignored her for too long 

generally aria is a pretty soft spoken person, but not with hyuck around - he brings out all her chaos energy (please pray for the patience of dotae)

the pair have a little tradition of kissing the back of each others’ hands before going on stage for good luck. they can’t even remember how it started, but now its an unnegotiable pre-show ritual

he’s so clingy with her absolutely everywhere its painfully adorable  (ಥ﹏ಥ)

interviews? hyuck has a hand on her knee, or if she’s wearing a skirt he’s tucked his hand in between their chairs so she can hold it discreetly. in the dorms? full body tackle onto the couch, where he proceeds to lay on top of her completely. 

because of hyuck’s nickname being the sun, and aria always being around him, czennies gave her the nickname “moon” to go with him

fans thought that aria was older than hyuck for a good year and a half before she released her birthday on a vlive, because she’s normally the one tasked with reigning his chaotic energy in during promotions (that is, if she hasn’t already joined him)

but off-camera, aria is absolutely hyuck’s baby there is no disputing that. aria’s sad?he’s there with ice-cream and a blanket and a baseball bat.

the winnie the pooh character that is on aria’s bed was a gift from hyuck for her 17th birthday, after she made him watch seven episodes of the show on netflix with her one night 

yes he complained, but he slapped her hand away when she went to change it to something else 

a twitter thread of a czennie comparing their horoscopes together went viral when people realized that it was quite plausible that the pair were each others (platonic) soulmates 

after an incident involving blueberries, donghyuck took it upon himself to check the ingredients of every. single. food item in their dorm to make sure it was ok for her to eat 

hyuck clowns her for her irish accent, and aria curses him out in japanese

tldr: they cute or whatever 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

donghyuck was doing a vlive in his bedroom, sitting and talking to czennies when aria opened the door to his room quietly. she didn’t say anything, just waved slightly with almost closed eyes before she crawled underneath his covers and tucked her plushie underneath her chin. hyuck didn’t even blink at it - so it must have been a regular occurrence.

[flamencodiva]

Hunter Encyclopedia: I’m a Fan

Description:  Y/N has traveled the world and faced every kind of monster imaginable which is why the nickname Hunter Encyclopedia, or H.E. for short has stuck.  She grew up in the hunting business and knew all about the Winchesters and read the Carver Edlund books before they came to ask her for help. Sam is the researcher and Dean is the action man, or at least that is what she thought, but could she have been wrong?

Pairing: Dean x Reader (eventual), Sam x Reader (Platonic Friendship) 

Warnings: Supernatural level Violence. 

A/N:  written for @spndeanbingo​ 

Square filled: Fangirl Moment 

Word Count: 5101

A/N 2: Dividers by @talesmaniac89​ Beta’d by @emoryhemsworth​ and a special thanks to @waywardbeanie​ for the amazing summary! 

Y/N Y/L/N sat in the corner of the hunter’s bar, her fingers curled around the glass holding her drink. She was nose deep in her book unaware of the world around her. She was engrossed in a bit of Greek literature; her trip to Athens had proven to be very helpful. Not only did she find very rare ancient tomes, but she was also able to find some new research on monsters that seemed to have become a new breed. Furiously writing in her already full journal, she failed to notice the two hunters who seemed to have been looking for her. 

“Y/N Y/L/N?” the voice called hesitantly. 

“Who’s asking?” she asked before looking up. Her eyes went wide with recognition as she studied the two hunters. 

“Hi, I’m—” 

“Sam Winchester,” she interrupted standing up to shake his hand. Y/N’s chair fell down from the force of her standing up in excitement. “Wow, I mean… holy… you’re a legend!” she gushed. 

Sam let out a small bashful chuckle as he blushed, “Wow, guess reputation precedes me, this is—” 

“Oh yeah, Dean,” she brushed off. “Right, another legend.” 

The older Winchester frowned slightly at the way she brushed off his introduction and looked between his brother and the so-called ‘Hunter Encyclopedia.’ At least that’s what many of the hunters they encountered had called her: Y/N Y/L/N, a hunter who not only was skilled in killing and maiming monsters and sending demons back to hell, but she was also a human hunter encyclopedia. He’d heard Bobby mention her before, once or twice, but he never really thought anything of it. 

“How can I help you guys?” She asked blushing at her own behavior. To be fair, she never really thought that she was famous for anything, or at least not anything that would attract the Winchesters, let alone Dean and his brother. 

“We were told that you could tell us about a new monster that seems to have popped up?” Sam asked as he helped her with her chair. 

“Depends,” she shrugged before taking a sip of her drink. “I just got back from Greece and made out like a bandit!” she smiled excitedly at the younger Winchester. If her own research was correct, he was the one who enjoyed research more than the older one. “I have this new tome I found! Well, not new, but it was discovered in an old catacomb.” 

“Really?” Sam’s interest was piqued. “Would it be alright if I took a look?” 

“Absolutely, I’m sure Dean can handle himself, I just saw a pretty blonde girl come in,” she said offhandedly. 

Dean let out a small scoff, “What is that supposed to mean?” 

“I didn’t mean to offend you,” Y/N rushed out. “It’s just, you aren’t really known for your enthusiasm for research. I figured your brother and I could do our thing and you could do yours.” 

Dean opened and closed his mouth at what she said, “I—” 

Before he could say anything more, he watched as Sam left with her and his frown deepened. 

“Research isn’t your thing,” He mimicked. “Who does she think she is telling me that—” his words fell from his lips as he noticed the blond at the bar smiling at him. “I mean she isn’t wrong, but I mean I can research. I’m not dumb,” he said to himself, pouting slightly. “I just like to have fun that’s all. Life isn’t all about books.” 

He licked his lips as he looked at the blond before sighing. Was that all he really was to the hunter community? A playboy who could kill monsters better than the rest of them? Shaking his head, he took a sip of his beer and sighed. He really didn’t feel like talking to the blonde. His mood was soured and he wanted to prove little Ms. Encyclopedia wrong. 

With Sam, Y/N had placed the different tomes she brought back from her trip on the small kitchenette table in her room. 

“Wow,” Sam marveled at their pristine condition, “I mean these are—these look to be—” 

“They are from around 400 B.C.E,” Y/N chuckled, “and the information they hold is astounding!” 

“So these are all—” 

“Accounts of the mythological heroes we’ve all heard about? Yeah,”  she gushed again. “I mean, I’ve heard about you guys saving Prometheus and meeting actual Greek gods, but wow!” 

“Well, I mean, we tried to keep it civil,” Sam argued. “All Zeus had to do was let Prometheus go,” Sam chuckled. 

“Have you read the stories about him?” Y/N giggled. “Dude thinks his cock is the best thing in the Pantheon of Gods. Guess he forgot that the Titans are bigger,” she laughed before pointing to a small line. “This right here states that Echidna, the mother of monsters, still creates new monsters almost every decade.” 

“Seriously?” Sam asked as he read the line. 

“As a heart attack,” she chuckled. “I mean, I’m sure it’s nothing like how Dean was able to kill Eve, but—” she paused when Sam looked at her. “What?” 

“Sorry, it’s just, back at the bar you seemed like you didn’t really care about Dean,” he clarified. 

“Oh! That, well I guess,” Y/N paused and bit her lip, “he’s a bit intimidating? I mean, don’t get me wrong, he is an amazing hunter, you both are! But with his knowledge of weapons and electronics and the fact that he went to literal Hell and back… I mean, he wouldn’t want to listen to someone like me drag on about books and research.” 

“I went to Hell and came back too,” Sam pointed out. “You know all this about Dean so, what gives?” 

“Oh,” Y/N blushed, “I-it’s just… You’re easier to talk to, and me? Well, I’m the ‘hunter encyclopedia.’ There is no way Dean ‘lady’s man’ Winchester would ever think to talk to a nerd like me.”  

Sam hid the smirk that came on his face, “Huh, so I take it you’re kind of a fan?” 

“I mean, who wouldn’t be? The stories that I hear from dive bar to dive bar,” she chuckled. “Want a beer?” She inquired walking to the fridge, reaching for one. He shook his head and she grabbed one for herself and shut the fridge door. “I mean, you two have been the epicenters of anything and everything that goes bump in the night.” 

“Yeah,” Sam sighed, “that’s been a bit of a struggle.”

“Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to… It’s just you guys have encountered things that not many hunters ever encounter. The amount of research and documentation that you could do about what you’ve experienced alone could fill books for future hunters!” 

Sam nodded, “I bet it would.” 

Y/N was about to say something when a knock interrupted their conversation. She looked at Sam who shrugged before they both reached for their guns ready to attack whoever might be knocking. As a hunter, one could never be too careful with who or what could knock on your door. Looking through the hole, Y/N’s eyes widened as she looked back at Sam. 

“It’s Dean,” she told him before holding her gun firm. “You can check him if you want, you know him better than I do.”

Stepping back, she let Sam check him out before allowing him to enter. Y/N smiled at Dean and waved.

“Sorry, was I interrupting anything?” he asked, looking between Sam and Y/N. 

“Not really,” Sam chuckled knowing Dean’s meaning. “We were just discussing the fact that our lives should be documented for future hunters.” 

“Yeah, that would be an entire volume of encyclopedias,” Dean muttered as he looked at Y/N. “So anything interesting?” 

Y/N shrugged as she walked over towards the table and away from Dean. “I mean. nothing really. I just told your brother how these tomes are actually accounts of the heroes of Greek mythology.”  

“You’re shitting me,” Dean said as he walked over to the tomes and frowned when Y/N gathered them up. “What?” 

“You wouldn’t be interested in them anyway. They’re pretty boring for someone like you.” 

“What do you mean?” Dean’s anger rose but was interrupted by Sam. 

“We were wondering if you found anything in your research that could help us with some new monsters that seemed to have popped up?” 

“Oh yeah!” Y/N smiled at Sam, once again brushing off Dean. 

The older hunter clenched his jaw as he glared at the woman in front of him. Who the hell did she think she was? She fawned all over Sam and barely paid him any attention. Dean was baffled by it. He couldn’t understand why this girl only saw him as some sort of playboy meathead, who didn’t like reading. He could read; in fact, Dean loved to read when Sam wasn’t looking. It was how he knew about the Greek monsters and gods. He may not be well versed in different languages like Sam was, but he knew legends and stories better than his brother. 

“So what is it you guys are looking for?” Y/N asked as she grabbed her hunter’s journal. 

“Well, for now, all we have to go on are visual accounts,” Sam said as he pulled out his laptop. “They keep describing a ‘serpent-like dragon.’” 

“Serpent-like dragon? You mean a dragon that moves like a snake?” Y/N asked hurriedly as she flipped through a book. “I mean, for all we know, it could have been a huge ass snake and people are overreacting.” 

Dean smirked. “That’s what I said, but then if you think about it, there is Ladon,” He pointed out. 

Y/N snapped her head up and looked towards Dean. “How do you know Ladon?” 

“Jason and the Argonauts, not to mention the fact that the story of Heracles depicts one of his tasks as retrieving the golden apple which is guarded by Ladon,” Dean offered her a wink. “I tend to favor Greek mythology, sweetheart.” 

Y/N blushed as she moved her hair behind her ear. “Oh, right,” she cleared her throat and looked to Sam. “It might need some investigating, but I’m sure you two can—” 

“Come with us,” Sam offered. 

“Huh?” Y/N was taken off guard as she looked at the haze eyed hunter. “I—that sounds great, but I don’t think it’s a good—” 

“What is it, sweetheart? You scared to be hunting with the famous Winchesters?” Dean boasted as he smirked at her. 

Y/N frowned at him, wondering what he was trying to do. “Look, I may be the ‘hunter encyclopedia,’ but I’m not scared of anything. You two are more than capable of finding out if this thing is a glorified snake or actually Ladon. I would be dead weight.” 

“Y/N, you aren’t just known for being a researcher,” Sam interjected. “You’ve taken on a ton of different monsters, monsters even Dean and I haven’t heard of or faced.” 

“That was nothing,” Y/n argued. “You don’t need me, I’m dead weight.” 

“Tell you what,” Dean walked up to her, crossing his arms over his chest. “You can help with the research, I’m sure we could use your brains at some point.” 

“A phone is easy to use,” she tried to dodge Dean and sighed when he blocked her. “What happened to the blonde at the bar? She looked more like your speed.” 

Y/N was irritated that Dean was pushing this. Why was he adamant that she join them? Was he trying to prove something to her? 

“Nothing happened with the blonde at the bar,” Dean scoffed, “but if we have a monster and you can identify it, why not help us get rid of it?” 

Y/N bit her lip in thought. “Fine,” she decided. “Just let me pack up and I’ll follow you in my car.” 

“Dean?” Sam looked at his brother as he continued to shift his gaze from the road to the rearview mirror. “You okay?” 

“I’m fine,” Dean muttered, “just making sure she’s following us.” 

“She is,” Sam pointed out. “So, a quickie in the bathroom or the backseat?” 

“Huh?” Dean raised his eyebrow in confusion, “What are you—” 

“The blonde that Y/N pointed out to you,” Sam clarified. 

“Oh, I didn’t,” Dean huffed, “Didn’t want to give Hunter Encyclopedia the pleasure of trying to dictate who I am to me.”

“Dean,” Sam chuckled, “you always tap a girl at the bar if they catch your eye.” 

“Well, I wasn’t in the mood this time,” Dean huffed. “Besides, Y/L/N seems to be your fan more than mine, Mr. Researcher.” 

“Me?” Sam titled his head in confusion and laughed. “You think… You realize she knows about us and is a fan right?”

“Maybe that’s her problem, she listens to the stories,” Dean mumbled. 

“Are you not a ladies man?” Sam asked curiously as to his brother’s answer. 

“Of course I’m a ladies man Sam, look at me,” Dean defended. “Women can’t keep their hands off me.”  

“Wow,” Sam let out another chuckle mixed with a huff. “Then I guess you’re going to prove to her that what, you love research? Come on Dean, you only research if you have to.” 

Dean tightened his grip on the steering wheel. Of course, Sam would think that. He had kept the façade up for a long time. It just made sense to make sure that Sam had a better future than he did. Of course, he would never admit to going through the various books on Greek heroes in the bunker. Then again, Dean loved the ancient stories of the heroes. He wasn’t too well-versed in the world of the gods, that much was proven when Sam had to explain Prometheus. So to counter, Dean ended up reading everything he could find on the Greek gods and the stories they told. 

 “Doesn’t mean I’m just a dumb meathead,” he grumbled. 

“You’re mad she read you like an open book,” Sam realized as he turned to look at his brother. “You’re mad that she brushed you off.” 

Dean let out a scoff with a slight high pitched squeak, “No! I— I don’t— I’m not mad. Just—”

“Look, obviously I can’t give advice to a ‘Ladies Man,’” Sam said as he looked towards the road, “but if you want her to look at you twice, you better crack open a couple of books in front of her and talk to her about what you are reading.”

“I read, Sam,” Dean defended, “but you’re right, maybe reading in front of her will show her I’m not a dumbass.” 

“Well, I mean you’re a bit of a dumbass,” Sam jabbed. 

“Bitch,” Dean spat with a smirk. 

“Jerk,” Sam shot back as they sat in comfortable silence on their way towards their next hunt. 

Reaching their destination, Dean watched as Sam headed to the motel office to get two rooms. He saw Y/N in her car, scribbling in her journal. From the looks of the damn thing, Dean could tell she had filled it close to the brim. He wondered if she needed a new one. He couldn’t help but smirk at the way her nose crinkled when she read her journal. It made him wonder what she was reading that made her make that face. 

“Dean,” Sam interrupted his thoughts, “I got our keys.” 

“Okay, let’s settle in and see what we can find.” Dean climbed out of the car just as Y/N did. 

“I’ll go—” she stopped when Sam tossed a room key at her, “you didn’t have to—” 

“Consider it a way to say thank you for helping us,” he insisted as he grabbed his bags and walked towards the door to his and Dean’s room. 

“You know,” Dean licked his lips as he walked up to her, “you could get to know the real me and not just what you’ve heard in the stories.” 

“I’m good,” she breathed. “The stories are a good learning tool. Besides, I’m not your type, and Sam and I should start researching. You can relax and find entertainment.” 

Before Dean could counter her words, she was rushing to her room, closing the door behind her. 

“Son of a bitch,” he grumbled, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. What was it going to take to get this girl to talk to him?  

Dean adjusted his bag and made his way to his room, grumbling under his breath about taking a shower. Sam smirked a bit, wondering what transpired between his brother and the girl who was crushing on him but too shy to speak out. After a few minutes, Dean walked out fresh and ready to investigate. Sam was ready to head over to Y/N’s room to piece together any clues they could find. With Dean hot on his heels, Sam knocked on Y/N’s door to see her ready for action. 

“Let’s investigate and then you and I can read the tomes to see if we can find other clues to help us,” she dictated. “If it is Ladon, it should be an easy kill, clean shot to the head like the legends all say.” 

“And what will I do?” Dean asked, still annoyed at being left out. 

“Oh,” Y/N looked at him as if it was the first time she noticed him there. “I-I’m not sure, what do you usually do when Sam is researching? I’m sure there is a bar out there for you to find something to fill the void after we get some clues.” 

“I’m getting real sick of that,” Dean growled. 

“Huh?” Y/N looked at him in confusion. “Sick of what? I mean, you are a great hunter, you’re skilled in being able to analyze a situation and patterns, but I know you don’t like sitting in a dusty room reading book after book.” 

“Lady, you don’t really know what I’m like,” Dean continued. 

“So you didn’t spend four months in Hell, which is equivalent to forty years?” she asked, tilting her head in confusion. 

“No, I did that,” Dean confirmed. 

“Okay, what about your trip to Purgatory? I mean was that just a tall tale or—” 

“I’m not talking about everything I’ve done, I’m talking about you treating me like a dumb jock because I don’t enjoy reading as much as you,” Dean snapped.  

“I never said you were dumb,” Y/N glared at him, “you made your very own EMF out of a Walkman, correct?” she interrogated, walking up to him. 

“What does that have to—” 

“And didn’t you create an EMP device that wiped out the hard drive of a group called the Ghostfacers?” she asked, continuing her line of questioning. 

“Look, all I’m trying to say is—” 

“And how many times have you had to rebuild the Impala? Five? Ten? Fifteen times?” she pushed on, getting closer and closer to Dean with every question. 

“Look, whatever you’re trying to do—” 

“You are smart, Dean. But you aren’t the kind of guy to sit around and listen to two people talk about lore, myth, and other boring mundane things. You are someone who would much rather actually spend their time doing things with their hands and making sure that plans work perfectly. You’re an engineer; you may not be book smart,” she poked at his chest, “but you are mechanical smart. If my words hurt you, then I’m sorry, but you are who you are and you shouldn’t change that just because I was able to find more common ground with your brother than you.” 

Dean opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water. Most of the things she listed, he wasn’t even sure people had heard about, but it seemed that word of the many things he’d built over the years had made their way out there, much like the stories of his deaths and resurrections. He watched as she talked to Sam and licked his lips. Yeah, Y/N Y/L/N was going to be an interesting nut to crack. He wondered what having her as a friend would be like, and maybe Sam was right: maybe he could show her that he was more than just mechanical smart. He watched her walk away, leaving their small argument at that. She knew things about him. It made him smirk that she paid attention to his accomplishments, but he was going to prove to her that he was able to hold a decent conversation.

Making their way to the forest, Y/N had one of the tomes on ancient monsters. She and Sam had tried to find some specific clues that would lead them to the supposed Ladon. It wasn’t until Y/N grabbed Dean’s arm to stop him and to try and warn Sam that things took a dark turn. As they began to walk farther in, Y/N could see three figures dancing along the trees at dusk and it clicked: the Nymphs of the Evening; Aigle, Erytheis, and Hespere. 

“Sam,” Y/N whispered, “stop.” 

“Why does he need to stop?” Dean asked as he tried to reach for Sam. 

“Because those are Nymphs, and they aren’t just any Nymphs. They’re the Evening Nymphs, said to roam the garden of Hera or what the legend says is the Garden of the Hesperides, essentially—” 

“Hera’s Orchard,” Dean finished. “Sam,” he called out, “Sammy, get back here!” 

“But they’re singing Dean,” Sam gave him a dreamy smile. 

“Damn it,” Y/N flipped through the tome and sighed. “Here,” she gave Dean a bronze knife. “Prick his finger and let the blood  drop on the grass.” 

“Why?” Dean questioned, but took the knife nonetheless.

“I mean, a blood offering on grass,” Y/N shrugged. “They’re Nymphs taking care of the garden in a way, so a blood offering would make sense.” 

Dean nodded as he grabbed Sam’s arm and held out his hand, the point of the knife pricking his brother’s finger. The drop of blood began to pool. Pulling Sam down, Dean made sure that the blood landed on a blade of grass. It took a minute, but Sam began to shake out of his daze. 

“What happened?” he asked, blinking his eyes a few times. 

“Nymphs,” Y/N and Dean echoed. 

Dean didn’t see it, but Y/N blushed as they spoke at the same time. The way he knew they were in Hera’s Orchard made her wonder what other secrets the hunter was hiding. Every bit of information she knew about him pointed to the fact that he hated research, yet here he was reciting lore and understanding what was happening in his surroundings. 

Clearing her throat, Y/N pointed past the Nymphs to an area that seemed to give off a sparkling glow. “Seems we should head that way.” 

“You sure?” Dean asked. 

“If we want to solve this mystery, Fred Jones, we need to keep going,” she smiled. “Grab Shaggy there so we can keep going.” 

“You like Scooby-Doo?” Dean let out as he followed Y/N, making sure that Sam was okay. 

“Who doesn’t?” she chuckled, “I’m a Velma, so no Fred is ever going to look at me,” she whispered the last part to herself, unaware that Dean caught it. 

“So, what else do you watch?” Dean checked, keeping the conversation going. 

“I’m sure nothing you would be interested in,” she brushed him off as they neared where the golden glow was coming from. 

“Why do you do that?” Dean huffed in annoyance. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Y/N shrugged, “I’m only stating a fact.” 

“For the record, you’re making me out to sound like a shallow dick,” Dean whispered harshly as a movement in the trees made them freeze. 

“Well, I’m sorry, but I’m pretty sure I have a good idea as to the kind of guy you are, okay?” Y/N spat back before holding out her arm to stop him. 

“What now?” Dean grumbled. 

“Ladon,” Y/N sighed. “He’s just doing his job. He’s guarding the Golden Apples.” 

“So he isn’t a threat—” 

“Unless someone tries to steal the apples,” Y/N nodded. “We should go before—” 

The loud dragon-like roar made the trio freeze. They turned towards the tree, but Ladon was no longer guarding it. Y/N began to look around only to feel a large, log-like object swipe through her ribcage sending her crashing towards a tree. 

“Y/N!” Dean yelled as he braced himself to try and defend them from another attack. 

Sam made his way towards Y/N, while Dean looked out for the creature. Dean tried to listen to the sound of the levees rustling. If Ladon was a snake-like dragon, that would mean it would be slithering between things. It was quick, but he heard it. The leaves rustled and Dean swiped trying to at least cut the creature. Not enough to kill it, just enough to stun it so that they could get away.  

He was surprised that he was successful, and smiled when the creature recoiled and backed away. Rushing towards Sam, he motioned for his brother to pick up Y/N and follow him out of the Orchard. Once in the Impala, Dean drove them towards the motel as fast as he could. 

“How is she?” Dean asked. 

“She’s got a gash on her arm, probably from hitting the tree and sliding against it,” he explained. “We’ll know more when we get back.” 

“Yeah,” Dean muttered as he glanced at the rearview mirror. 

===============

Y/N groaned as she tried to get up, but hissed in pain. She blinked a few times to adjust to the light in the room she was in and found Dean sitting on the edge with an ice pack on her head. 

“I got it,” she muttered, trying to grab the pack from him. 

“Hold still,” Dean ordered, as he checked her over for anything else. 

“Why does my arm hurt?” she moaned in pain. “I just got knocked out.” 

“Not entirely, sweetheart,” Dean flashed her a smile. “You got a nasty gash on your arm from when you slid against the tree trunk Ladon launched you towards, not to mention your abdomen is red and you’re going to have a nice bruise there for a bit.” 

“Yippie for me,” she grunted, “You don’t have to be here you know. I told you I was dead weight.” 

“You stopped us from confronting that thing head-on,” Dean argued. “You realized where we were and what it was doing,” he continued as he inspected the stitches he’d placed on her wound. “So you called me Fred back there.” 

“Yeah?” Y/N shrugged and winced. “So you’re the Fred Jones type: handsome, great with strategy, ladies man.” 

“Velma is pretty cool you know,” Dean said as he turned towards her. “She is logical and cool-headed, not to mention she helps Fred come up with the traps,” he pointed out. 

Y/N rolled her eyes, “But Freddy loves Daphne and I am no Daphne.” 

“You know, you still brush me off even though you know everything about me, things that I didn’t even know people knew. How come you’ve put me in a box and labeled me already?” Dean said as he tried to figure out the puzzle that was Y/N Y/L/N. 

She gave him a shrug. “Not hard to find the Supernatural books by Carver Edlund. I mean, I knew who you guys were because I was raised a hunter and my dad knew yours, but we never met,” she explained. 

“Oh no, you read those things?” Dean groaned as he bowed his head. “I hate those books.” 

“But they happened, right? Every story I heard from other hunters confirmed everything that happened in those books,” she pointed out, “and I have to say I got a pretty good impression of you through them.” 

“No, you didn’t,” Dean defended. “You know all these things I’ve done, but you don’t know me! Talk to me! Get to know me!”

“Why would you want me to talk to you?” Y/N shook her head, “I’m not your type, trust me. I know your type, and brainy ain’t it.” 

“You don’t know that!” Dean stood up in frustration, “I love Scooby-Doo, I watch Dr. Sexy. I’ve read The Odyssey at least five times in my life, along with the other epic tales that Homer and others have written, not to mention I love Greek heroes and their stories. I’ve read Vonnegut and Tolstoy,” he licked his lips and let out a huff before smiling. “So no, you don’t know me because those books and those people who tell stories about me only know what I show them, not who I am.”  

Y/N stayed silent as he finished his declaration and licked her own lips. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, “You’re right. I don’t know you. I know of you. I just didn’t think that you would like to speak to me about mundane things.” 

“Like what?” Dean pressed. 

“Look, I know myself well enough to know that I can get extremely nerdy and people start to shy away from me,” she explained. 

“What if you’re wrong?” Dean replied. Let’s just start from the beginning. We can re-introduce ourselves.” Dean shook his body before rolling his shoulders. He turned to face Y/N completely and gave her his best charming smile, “Hello, I’m—” 

“Dean Winchester,” Y/N interrupted, chuckling at his annoyed expression, “Sorry, I would just recognize the description of the famous Dean Winchester.”  

“Famous?” Dean feigned shock, “I gotta say, sweetheart, you’re pretty famous too.” 

“Dean, I’m not—” 

“Y/N Y/L/N, an excellent connoisseur of lore and ancient myths,” he interjected, “kickass hunter who is known for taking down the Tulsa, Oklahoma wolf pack back in ‘09, not to mention the vamp’s nest up in Washington state near Kirkland.” He leaned in and gave her a wink, “Did I miss anything?” 

Y/N’s heart pounded in her chest at what he said, what he knew of her. Hell, he knew about her. Licking her lips, she offered him a smile. 

“You forgot my nickname, Winchester,” she whispered. 

“That’s right, they do call you the Hunter Encyclopedia,” he teased. 

That was the start of Y/N getting to know Dean on a deeper level, not from books or stories passed down from hunter to hunter, but the real Dean, and their story was just beginning.  

HE: 2 in the Morning 

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[luki-fanfic]

Helluva Boss 5: The Harvest Moon Festival

Huh, Helluva Boss usually drops by mid month. Wonder why this episode is taking so long to put toget-

*Episode airs*

0_0

Oh. That’s why.

I’ll admit it, my interest in HB was waning. Episode 3 and 4 honestly didn’t do much to keep me interested. Spring Broken had a lot of plot and writing issues, and I felt the concept could have been better executed. C.H.E.R.U.B was more solid, but did have some issues, and just wasn’t that fun to watch.

Harvest Moon on the other hand? Oh boy, now there’s an episode. I am, if you’ll pardon the pun, back on this horse. World building, the action scenes, incredible animation, relationship development of the bad kind, more worlds, interesting characters! It gives us so much to work with.

Spoilers abound, so read carefully.

That said, I will start this with my biggest complaint – and it’s one I’ve had for several episodes, but this one really rammed it home due to the ‘sneak peak’ clip we had of the opening. In the black and white boards, the swearing was limited, and honestly the writing was pretty witty. Then we got the finished product – certain lines were missing, and several words had been replaced with random swearing. Considering what the scene was, it felt like the finished product was a step down – I really wish the scriptwriters would realise random swearing isn’t always funny, and they’ve given proof that their writing is snappy as is.

Anyway...onto the actual episode. We learn that I.M.P seems to be building up their business as Blitzø has 15 clients looking for a kill. Considering he had to do a sale to get a multiple kill, and the other episodes show him basically going out straight after getting the job, they’re clearly building up a name for themselves.

This is further shown with the arrival of Striker, who compliments his decision to go into business for himself, since most Imps don’t. This is new information, since we’ve seen Wally attempt to start his own business – although clearly it wasn’t going well – but if Striker is to be believed, most companies in Hell, even Imp City, don’t have Imps as the owners. Maybe it’s a financial capital thing, maybe it’s partially Hell’s racism, or maybe Imps just generally prefer to follow, which Striker seems to allude later. It’s hard to say with the information we’ve got at this point, but it does put I.M.P in a slightly different light – and probably explains why Blitzø is fairly incompetent when it comes to running the whole thing. He has literally no one to ask or use as an example, and the society he lives in generally assumes he’s going to fail by the nature of him being an Imp.

In fact, even though Blitzø owns I.M.P, he is still completely dependent on Stolas and his Grimoire. Without it, I.M.P is screwed – the reason they’re even at the Harvest Festival is because they can’t work. And that’s what Striker tells him in the final act. Their society has made sure that he can never truly be successful on his own merit, no matter how hard he tries.

I’ve seen some debate on whether what Striker told Blitzø was true or just an attempt to let his guard down. It’s hard to say, because Striker says and does some very conflicting things, but I’m going to believe it was genuine. Why?

He lets Millie and Moxxie live to have leverage over him. He does insult Blitzø to their faces, but why would he need leverage once his job was done?

When Moxxie learns the truth, he doesn’t even try to talk him round, just kill him. Millie is also tossed to the side – possibly because neither of them are ‘superior.' Blitzø gets a full on speech about their superiority and how much he respects him, even if he’s hiding a knife in his tail for if he can’t talk him round.

When he has Blitzø on the ground at his mercy, he doesn’t mock him. Instead, he tells him he genuinely thought they’d be a good team. He had the advantage, but doesn’t take the chance to continue the insult.

Like most Imps, Striker seems to dislike the demon royalty, but at the end of the day, is also working for one (and can I say that twist was brilliantly well done? It made SO much sense but I honestly didn’t see it coming). What is his end goal? Is he envious that Blitzø has some kind of power of Stolas while he has to be obedient? Is he aiming to kill Stella once Stolas is down? Maybe opening an assassination business to take out anything Overlord and above? We just don’t know.

And with that, we’ll step off this train of thought to speak about something else very important in this episode. Stolas. Specifically his relationship with Blitzø, and precisely how wrong it is.

I admit it, I future-shipped them, especially thanks to the Instagram (which become a bit of a bait and switch when the insta-accounts were declared ‘non-canon’). I acknowledged that the relationship was problematic and needed some serious work on both sides before it could really be a functioning relationship, but this episode hammered home exactly how much needs to happen in a way the other episodes didn’t. The pilot and Murder Family treated Stolas as a gag, and then Loo Loo Land made us all care about him and his actions. But Harvest Moon showed the other side of it, and I'm not sure the ship can realistically recover.

Stolas considers Imps as inferior, to a ridiculous degree, and Blitzø is no exception. He has absolutely no respect for Blitzø, and holds all the power in the relationship. We saw this a little in the previous episodes, but they were either alone, or Blitzø was working for him, and surrounded by people aware of the relationship. His actions could be somewhat explained away.

In Harvest Moon, Stolas proves he treats Blitzø this way even in public. Blitzø has very obvious issues regarding his name, so Stolas persistently using a nickname and treating him the way he does around people who aren’t aware, says a lot about how much Stolas doesn’t care about Blitzø’s opinions. Even if Blitzø does have some feelings for him – which I do suspect due to his panicked attempt to explain it as transactional. If he didn’t care, he would probably find it easier to explain. At the same time though, he’d be happier if he could get the book without the monthly visits, because what he has with Stolas isn’t a relationship, no matter what Stolas tries to pretend. Any feelings Blitzø develops puts him even further under his control.

Part of me wonders if the relationship evolved between the pilot and the first episode in planning, and that’s why we have such a disconnect between the Insta relationship and the canon one. I’m really hoping the series addresses it in the future.

Finally, lets talk about that final reveal. Stella has hired a hitman to kill Stolas – even armed him with two angel-tech guns.

(Which, also finally gives us confirmation that Imps/Hellhounds/Succubi can die from conventional weapons, but the higher ranked native demons need angel weaponry to off them).

Stella is also confident enough to scream it over the dinner table. Stolas either doesn’t care, or isn’t paying attention – if he doesn’t care, if definitely puts his motives regarding the original invite up in the air, but if he isn’t paying attention? Then it’s another point in the anti-Stolas tab.

That said, this scenario does ask a question. Why don’t these two divorce? Stolas is clearly not in love any more, and living together clearly isn’t doing Octavia’s mental health any favours if she’s literally hiding behind her music rather than interact with her parents. He should be the first to offer a divorce, but he hasn’t brought it up. And if he hasn’t, maybe the reason Stella hasn’t is because they can’t?

It’s generally assumed that the two of them have an arranged marriage, and that Stella’s anger at his relationship with Blitzø is due to his status more than the cheating. But then wouldn’t it make more sense to hire a hitman to kill Blitzø rather than Stolas? Choosing to kill Stolas, even if it would hurt Octavia, suggests it’s the only option left to her.

I’m guessing we’ll (finally) get some Stella development next time Striker appears, and get an idea of what makes her tick. But for now, I suspect the two of them regularly had lovers on the side, but kept it discreet until this point. Stolas refusing to keep his relationship with Blitzø quiet is causing untold damage to their name and status. Stella wants rid of a man who not only doesn’t love her (if he ever did), but is constantly humiliating her for not hiding his much lower class lover (which we know by this episode he doesn’t even attempt), and since the rules of Hell for demons of their status doesn’t allow divorce (or perhaps their arrangement doesn’t), assassination it is.

Hell, maybe the plan was to kill Stolas, and frame Blitzø for it. Striker clearly knew about their relationship before they met (which should have been a red flag now that I thing about it), so Stella probably mentioned him. It would also put the recruiting on another level, if Striker actually did get Blitzø involved at the final moment and teamed up.

Oh, and as a final amendment? If that angel-gun that Striker left behind is not now in the hands of I.M.P and becomes a key piece when Asmodeus, Mammon and the real Fizzarolli show up? I will be very disappointed.

[wisdomrays]

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS: What Happens to People Born and Living in Non-Islamic Countries?: Part 2

Today, Muslims cannot provide security even in a small area for just their own community. Given this, the achievements of early Muslim administrations can be seen in their true light and greatness. In return for their security, reliability, wisdom, subtlety of mind and piety, the doors of many castles and cities were opened to them-not as honorary title-holders or visitors, but as governors and rulers.

When the Muslims took over Syria and Palestine, the commanders asked for the keys to Masjid al-Aqsa. The Patriarch told them that he would give them only to the person described in their holy books, for only that man was worthy to receive them. While they were disputing, Caliph 'Umar and one of his servants set out from Madina. No one knew how he would travel. But the Patriarch and priests knew how the rightful holder of keys would come.

'Umar borrowed a camel from the state treasury, and he and his servant took turns riding it. When the Muslim commanders heard of this, they prayed that 'Umar would be riding when they had to cross the Jordan river. They thought that, as the Byzantines were used to pomp and magnificence in their rulers, 'Umar might shame himself if he were leading the camel upon which his servant was riding, and crossing the river with rolled-up trousers.

In fact, most political pomp is injustice and inequity, and 'Umar was trying to avoid it. What his commanders feared came to pass. 'Umar's garment, worn and battered by the journey, also had many patches on it. When the Patriarch saw 'Umar, he cried out: "This is the man whose description we have in our books! Now, I shall give him the key." Because of the special knowledge obtained from their books, the priests knew how 'Umar would look and how he would cross the river. Handing the key and Masjid al-Aqsa to the Muslims caused many people to embrace Islam.

With whole-hearted ardor, 'Uqba ibn Nafi' set forth to spread the word of Islam. The conquest of Africa fell to his lot. After successive victories, some people envied his fame and misinformed the Caliph about him. The Caliph was provoked, and 'Uqba was dismissed from his post, arrested, and kept from spreading Islam. Imprisoned for 5 years, his only sorrow and great longing were expressed thus: "I wish I could have spread Islam all over Africa. I was prevented from achieving this. That is the only thing I regret."

Freeing and then appointing 'Uqba governor of Africa, Yazid made it possible for him to relaunch the conquest of Africa and spread Islam. 'Uqba reached the Atlantic Ocean in a single campaign. He could not help riding his horse into the ocean and crying out: "O God! If this dark sea had not prevented me going further, I would carry Your Holy Name overseas!"

I relate these historical accounts to remind us of how Islam was represented in the past and how it is now. The early Muslims took present-day Azerbaijan, Iran, Iraq, North Africa, Bukhara, Tashkent, Samarkand-places that would produce Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmidhi, Ibn Sina, al-Farabi, Biruni-within 25 years. These early Muslims carried Islam to almost every part of the then-known world, and made the glorious flag of There is no god but God, Muhammad is His Messenger wave over many lands.

As for ourselves, we scarcely can speak the Truth to our neighbors, let alone go to foreign lands and tell the people there. Some of our neighbors may be willing to listen, but we cannot persuade even them. Our words come back to us cold, as if from walls of ice. They leave our mouths but do not penetrate the hearts and souls of people.

We point this out only to draw attention to immeasurable distance between ourselves and the Companions. They conveyed Islam to all peoples and lived only to do this. When they could not do so, they felt sorrow and pain for the lands and people unaware of the Truth. By contrast, we cannot represent Islam fully in our individual lives, and still less can we convey its message to people abroad. We have neither abandoned our personal needs and preoccupations, nor given the highest priority to working in the way of God. We remember the ways to our homes, our jobs, and our worldly lives only too well. Those of us who went to non-Muslim countries did so for economic reasons, not to take the name of God to those lands. That is why we are so unable to spread Islam among them.

If non-Muslims are now lost in deviation, corruption, and unbelief due to our own ignorance, laziness, and incompetence, we shall be called to account for it. Giving lectures and organizing seminars and panels can be considered moving toward being on the way of God, not true service to Islam. If true service to Islam is likened to a great palace, we are still wandering around the first entrance. Because we have not yet entered upon the task, many people are going astray. Sometimes we speak to them of Islam, but we have not saved ourselves from futile internal disputes and conflicts.

We are nowhere near representing Islam at the level of 'Umar, 'Uqba ibn Nafi', and others of that caliber. Who knows how their opponents were struck with fear at seeing their determined courage, their indomitable devotion to God; or struck with wonder by their reliability, generosity, justice, and humanity, all of which moved them to wonder about and then embrace Islam. The fact that many of the countries in which Muslims now live were conquered by these early Muslims shows what absolute sincerity in the way of God can achieve.

Considered from this angle, the question of non-Muslims, especially those living in non-Islamic countries, takes on a different aspect. We need to see them with a greater tolerance, and say: 'Shame on us! We have not been able to convey Islam to them so that they can leave the darkness in which they live." It will help to narrate here the true story of a German family.

A Turkish worker lived with a German family. He paid great attention to his religious duties, and performed them sensitively. Except for working hours, whenever he was with the German family he told them about Islam. After a while, the father became Muslim. His wife said to him, as did the wife of 'Amir ibn Tufail: "We have always been together so far. Let's be together in the future, too, together on the Sirat Bridge and also in Paradise. If Islam really makes one reach heavenly realms, as you said, why should I stay back from such a blessing while you enjoy it?" So she embraced Islam. The children followed her, and the family group of Islam was completed and the home became an outpost of Paradise.

Several days later, the husband came and said these startling words to the Turkish worker: "I could not express my love and gratitude to you, because you have been an honored guest to us. However, sometimes I get very angry and wish to beat you up. You came and the Qur'an, the Prophet, and God followed you. My home became a heavenly abode. But I had a father. He was a very straight, good man. He passed away a few days before you came. Why couldn't you have come a bit earlier and told him of Islam as well?"

These words indeed represent the voice, the complaint, the rebuke of the whole non-Muslim world. We have failed to take Islam to them. Even in our own countries we have been unable to exert enough effort or support the cause of Islam to make our own people know it properly.

Another aspect of the question is this: Those who took us away from Islam always promised a Western standard of life. But 150 years later we are still beggars at the doors of the West. Little has changed, and we cannot say that we have progressed in any important sense. The West continues to treat us as servants who leave their countries in return for poor wages. Even if we presented its people with the golden principles of Islam, the message that will open the gates of Paradise for them, they will reject both Islam and us. In part, this is because we are despised laborers at their disposal. As usual, the rich have difficulty imagining that they need anything from the beggars at their doors.

Muslims have been defeated in so many fields many times over, and remain dependent on the West. Why should the West listen to us? Only if we can live and represent Islam thoroughly, go to the non-Muslims with a commanding confidence in our own honor, dignity, and greatness and only for the sake of God, can we hope that they will listen to us and accept Islam. We cannot continue to accept our negative image in their eyes, but how can we change this unless we regain and reassert our former identity?

In the Hereafter they will be asked why they did not embrace Islam, and we will be asked why we did not convey it to them. So, the responsibilities of both Muslims and non-Muslims should be considered equal. Any judgments about non-Muslims should be made justly and uprightly. We cannot condemn non-Muslims to Hell simply for being non-Muslims, nor can we dream that people will embrace Islam just because we ask them to do so.

We believe that the global balance will change in the near future. Especially in Turkey, Central Asia, Egypt, Pakistan, and some other places, Muslims will regain their consciousness and raise up strong individuals who will resemble the early Muslims in their desire to establish Islam and its high values in other lands. Only through sustained and sincere effort will Islam once again become a major and respected factor in the world, and will the voices of its followers be heard. This is not impossible. Those who will realize it will be Muslims of good character whose souls have bonded with Islam, not those inconsistent and inadequate Muslims who follow their bodily needs and desires and only concern themselves with Islam once in a while.

[pathogenliliaceae]

you called leon a fool do you not like him?

Hello, Anonymous!

I'm so glad that you've asked. I caution you, however, in asking me these sorts of questions, as you likely will not enjoy what I have to say.

Absolutely not.

I believe that my feelings on Leon can be summed up in the following statement: He is entirely wasted potential. Not that he could do or be better, but that potential is wasted on him.

My thoughts on Leon S. Kennedy:

Shall we start at the beginning? He was late for his first day of work. One would think that of any job, law enforcement may be one that perhaps you may want to, at least, pretend to be semi-competent in. Back further still in the timeline? Alright: He requested official assignment to Raccoon City but made no travel nor housing plans. Upon receiving his assignment (again, that he requested) his girlfriend broke up with him, likely because she's realised the level of incompetence hiding beneath that awful fringe. I am under the impression that this assignment request was made without conversation with his girlfriend, but that's moot because now they've broken up. Next, he spends the night in a hotel. Better yet, he's gone off his tits. When he is supposed to start his first day of work, as a law enforcement officer, the next morning. Irresponsible. This, of course, causes him to oversleep.

He wakes up, stumbles on into his vehicle, drives into Raccoon City, past the military blockade, and promptly strikes a woman with his car. Then shoots her. Meanwhile, Leon is still entirely unaware of the outbreak situation. He is a murderer masquerading as a hero.

My next few points I will not elaborate on, as I believe they are self-explanatory. He has wrecked every vehicle he has touched. Without fail. I fully believe that not even the getaway jet-ski is exempt. There is a reason that we do not see Ashley again after that moment, and I presume that this is why. Ada is and has been exploiting him in every installment, and yet he still does not realise- he is blinded by infatuation. Furthermore: Though he is blinded by infatuation, he still fails to recognise her in Four. He believes people who function differently than he does are "uncivilised".

He turns over Sherry to the US Government. This point I will elaborate on. I will admit at the onset that I am perhaps a bit biased on this one, however... Post-Two, Claire goes on her Code: Veronica journey, leaving Sherry in Leon's care (which is one strike for you, Ms. Redfield). They are "apprehended" and separated. Leon is offered a job with the government, which he is entirely unqualified for, and Sherry is subjected to years of experimentation and testing. It is further implied in Six that after this moment, Leon has no further contact with Sherry. When they meet in Lanshiang, he says something akin to "Oh, yeah, I had heard that you became an agent"- during a time in which they both worked for the same organisation. What a lovely way to treat someone who had lost everything in the events of Two, and then depended on you to keep her safe. Furthermore, she was left in his care. I do wonder what his explanation was when Claire came back from Antarctica. "Yes, I surrendered that sweet little girl that we saved to the government- BUT NOW I WORK FOR STRATCOM"! Mind you, his track record for employment at this point is in the "Dying" status.

His jokes are insufferable.

His misguided attempts at flirting at Hunnigan makes my skin crawl.

His general behaviour borders on imbecilic.

This next bit is the most recent development in the universe, so I'll warn you against spoilers if you've not caught up and watched Resident Evil: Infinite Darkness. He is entirely willing to cover up the US Government's use of BOWs in their military. In fact, he sacrifices a friendship/partnership with Claire over it. For what? To protect the World Order? Please. He was there, in Two. He saw what it was that they had been attempting to do by contracting Umbrella to make them bioweapons, and the possible (likely) repercussions of those choices. Taking this into account, it is entirely unsurprising that his Six scenario kicks off the way that it does. Do not think I do not notice that President Benford states that he is going to admit to the world that the US Government had fingers in the pie that was the Raccoon City Incident, and then he suddenly ends up a zombie and Leon has to shoot him dead. ... I don't recall that you actually do see Benford's method of infection. Hmm. Awfully suspicious of you, Mr. Kennedy.

There are any number of further problems that I have with this full toddler of a man, but these are my main points. In short- he is a fool and it physically pains me to have to keep him alive in his games. I stand by my name-calling.

Thank you for your question! I may make this a series if anyone is interested in further ramblings.

[raendown]

Pairing: MadaraTobirama Word count: 3235 Soulmate au: The one where any tattoo that you get shows up on your soulmate and vice versa

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

KO-FI and commission info in the header! 

Chapter 218 

It had been dozens of generations since the Uchiha clan discovered the secret of their most powerful weapon hidden in the love they so fiercely protected, just as many since the discovery that their greatest strength was also their greatest weakness, the curse that could bring low any warrior from the weakest to the most battle hardened. They were not so self centered to believe that other clans did not love their important people fiercely but there had always been a certain extra level of passion in an Uchiha’s emotions that just didn’t seem to exist for anyone not of their blood. Were they born of any other clan the sheer weight of their love would have been labeled oppressive. For an Uchiha it was nothing less than expected, necessary in a way. Without the crushing weight of love to hold them against the earth an Uchiha was cursed to spiral in to madness with only their bloody sharingan to light the way forward. It was not a future any of them looked forward to. 

Some escaped the curse, of course. It wasn’t an inevitability for anyone who chose the life of a civilian or followed a path that did not lead to the battlefields. Madara found himself envious of those people sometimes. The artisans who spent their worries on sourcing materials and feeding orphans had a hard life in their own way but a much more peaceful one. He was willing to bet very few of them had ever come awake at night with their eyes spinning red and their mind filled with horrors that would never - could never - be forgotten. He wished sometimes that he could have such an uncomplicated life. 

He wished sometimes that he had never fallen in love.

What should have been the center of his happiness, the anchor that weighed his sanity against the storm of a shinobi’s life, walked ahead of him with confident strides and eyes that looked forward, unaware of the power they held. Sometimes Madara wondered if Tobirama knew about his feelings. To anyone else in his own clan he was sure what he felt was as clear as day. Even if Izuna hadn’t said anything yet he’d felt his brother’s gaze on him when the fire in his veins overflowed in public, something he tried so hard to muffle and failed more often than not. He supposed in a way it could be considered an advantage in this case, the fact that his people seemed to love just a little differently than the rest of the world. If Tobirama knew he surely would have said something. The fact that he didn’t was probably the closest thing to mercy he was likely to get. 

Because Tobirama, cold and distant and so very perfect for the man that Madara had shaped himself in to, was not the soulmate he was meant for. The proof of it was right there on his face in three thin lines red like blood. Red like passion. Red like the sharingan he still didn’t seem to trust very much. Madara was only too aware that if they were indeed meant to be soulmates he would have woken up with those same tattoos the day after Tobirama received his own. But he hadn’t. His skin was clean and bare of any marks except for the scars of battles he couldn’t count. Whether that was because his true soulmate was waiting on him to guide them in with ink of his choosing or simply because they did not exist he didn’t know. Didn’t care. It had been a handful of years now since he stopped caring whether they might still be alive out there somewhere. 

It was hard to imagine what his soulmate could ever offer that might turn his eyes away from the man walking in front of him now. Harder still to imagine the monumental force it would take to peel the layers of emotions away from his heart until he stopped loving Tobirama. He was, after all, an Uchiha. Not a people known for giving up on love very easily. As a whole they tended to prefer death, not something he was very eager to run towards when the village he’d dreamed of as a child was less than a decade off the ground. He was aware that this love was likely to be the thing that drove him in to his grave and yet as he watched Tobirama stop to soften the blow of a child crashing headlong in to his legs Madara couldn’t bring himself to care about that either. 

“Having second thoughts, Uchiha?” 

“What?” Madara snapped back to reality to see that the child was leaving, scampering back to her mother with a smile made of crooked teeth, leaving Tobirama to look back at him with one eyebrow raised expectantly. “You wish, Senju. I’m going to grind you in to the dirt!” 

“I’m shaking in my boots.” Words spoken with absolutely no inflection. Tobirama blinked once and then turned to continue walking towards the training grounds mostly frequented by him and his brother. It took a special kind of terrain to contain two such powerhouses without the effects of their training spilling over to bother the surrounding populace. Madara would know. He had chosen his own favorite training ground for just the same reason. 

Possibly it hadn’t been one of his best ideas to suggest Tobirama spar with him instead after walking in on Hashirama apologizing for having to cancel the time they’d set aside for training together. Madara watched the mesmerizing walk of a shinobi built for speed and decided he didn’t care whether this was smart or not. Their skill levels were close enough and well balanced enough to make for an interesting fight so whether or not he made a fool of himself it promised to at least be an interesting afternoon. If his heart just happened to get broken along the way, well, it had been breaking every day since he first recognized these hopeless feelings for what they were.

One thing he had not taken in to account was the stretching. Sparring was one thing, the rush of adrenaline and the rapid movements as opponents danced around each other, together and apart again over and over. The necessary step of stretching out their muscles was quite another. Without the high of mock battle Madara was forced to turn his body away just to stop his eyes from being too obvious with the way he couldn’t seem to tear them away. He wanted those elegant fingers to trace his skin, wanted those steely arms to cage him in like he was something precious, something to be treasured like he treasured the smallest glimpses of things he would never call his own. Facing somewhere other than the chest he wanted so badly to press his ear against just to hear the heart beneath it was much easier. Instead of making the usual show of himself Madara watched the clouds scudding across the blue sky above them, leaning deeper in to his stretches to let the burn clear his thoughts. Only when he was sure none of his emotions were showing on his face did he finally turn around and demand they get on with it. 

“Someone seems eager to injure his own pride,” Tobirama noted with a hint of a devastating smirk. Madara scowled. 

“You think a lot of your skills. Shall we dance, Senju, so we can put them to the test?”

“Let’s,” was all the warning Tobirama gave him before the two of them exploded in to motion at the same time. 

It felt good to focus on the flow and pull of his own body undulating across the field, dodging and weaving through Tobirama’s attacks, breathing fire hot enough to evaporate the water used against him. Nothing would ever be as good as battle for clearing the mind of any other unwanted thoughts. After barely a couple of minutes Madara was relaxed enough to let slip a feral grin, truly enjoying himself enough to forget his romantic woes for just a little while.

Unfortunately it really was only a little while. With the sheer power they both had Madara thought the two of them could have locked themselves in to a stalemate for a good long while but it seemed as though the difference in their skill sets was just enough to give one or the other the upper hand fairly quickly each round, the victor declared depending on who spotted an opening first. Barely more than an hour had passed before they were half a dozen rounds in and both of them were drenched with sweat from giving it their best effort. Madara chose to delude himself that Tobirama was working as hard to impress him as he was to impress the younger man. A harmless delusion, at least compared to the other ones he entertained when he was alone and free to dream of the impossible. 

Or so he thought. This apparently harmless delusion is exactly what cost him the spar, distracting him with a sensation of triumph and a need to overextend himself in an attempt to look good. Like a feral animal Tobirama seemed almost able to smell when his opponent was weak. In a flash he had Madara pinned on his back with a blade at his throat and for one interminable moment in time the wild glint of his eyes was the only thing that existed. The entire rest of the world faded away, narrowed down the same look Madara had been drowning in since his cursed heart first latched on to someone he knew he couldn’t have. 

He didn’t realize he was staring until Tobirama frowned and pulled away to stand up. Then he silently berated himself. So much effort put in every day to keep his feelings private, knowing they would not be returned, and now he’d given up all his secrets for nothing but a pair of pretty eyes. Tobirama was a smart man, after all. It would certainly be too much to ask that he not draw the right conclusions from whatever foolish expression Madara had just been wearing. 

“I…” Jaw hanging open for the space of two heartbeats, Tobirama closed it again with a helplessly bemused expression. It was obvious he wasn’t sure what to say. There wasn’t really much to be said. 

“Don’t,” Madara warned him. “Just...don’t.”

Covered in sweat, breathing like a civilian after running a mile, he was painfully aware of the incredibly unattractive picture he made. Not exactly an image to swoon over, let alone fall in love with. As if he’d ever had a chance of Tobirama falling in love with him. Something dangerous pulsed behind his eyes and Madara turned away before either of them could discuss what his sharingan was trying to do, ignoring the tempting voice that called for him to come back and talk about this like adults. Instead he coiled his legs and launched himself towards the trees without actually paying attention to where he was heading. Anywhere was better than here. 

Literally anything in the world was a better use of his time than having his heart broken by a rejection he could have seen coming with both eyes closed. 

Avoiding Tobirama was both simple and complicated. Not many of their duties overlapped, their talents leading them to work in different departments. Unfortunately they did sit on a number of the same councils and committees and it was quite the challenge attending each of his duties without getting caught by a man who could move so much faster than he could. It took twisting and planning and every dirty trick that Madara had up his sleeve but he managed it, somehow, for several weeks. He couldn’t imagine what Tobirama could possibly still want to say after so much time had passed but he was very sure he didn’t want to hear it. All he wanted was to enjoy these last few years of sanity before the inevitable curse of his clan at last began to shred the barrier between his heart and good sense. 

Obviously he couldn’t run forever, though, not from someone as determined as Tobirama. Madara wondered why he still found that such an attractive trait even as he watched the other man bear down on him in the records room where several heavy layers of seals prevented him from using a body flicker to escape. 

“We need to talk.”

“No, we really don’t,” he snapped back in the hopes that his natural grumpiness would cover the dread choking his voice. 

“Don’t look at me like that, Uchiha. Are you or are you not the same idiot who faced the Raikage and his personal guard all by yourself with no backup? Quit looking so...so…”

Madara scowled. “So?”

“Afraid of me,” Tobirama finished his sentence with the slightest note of hesitation, like he knew exactly how badly Madara would despise hearing those words. And indeed they did bring a scowl to his face. He’d never been afraid of anything in his life except for losing his precious people. This wasn’t fear. This was nothing more than a healthy predilection for not landing himself in painful situations. 

“I’m not afraid of you! Go away!” 

Rather than scurrying off for the hills - because of course he wouldn’t, Tobirama had always taken a lot more than one quick snap to run off - he bullied in closer until he had Madara hemmed in to a corner, boxed in on all sides with nowhere to look but forwards. 

“Clearly we’re not going to be able to talk about this calmly but I don’t know why I expected any more of you. You’re as ruled by your emotions as my brother is. To make this as painless as possible how about you just shut up and let me lay out the facts, yes?” Raising one hand, Tobirama began to tick off his fingers as he continued. “You have some sort of feelings for me and yet you chose not to speak to me about them. I wondered why until I realized it probably had something to do with either your heritage as an Uchiha or your status as unbonded. As someone outside of your clan those answers were not available to me. However, the second option was one I was more than capable of testing for myself. If you would just-”

Madara tried to balk when pale fingers reached for his arm but Tobirama pinned him with a look so venomous he could do nothing but stand absolutely still while his sleeve was pulled up to reveal his forearm, a particularly boring part of the human body in his own opinion, something he was utterly baffled by the need to see until he looked down and noticed something new for the first time. 

“That wasn’t there this morning,” he breathed. As he spoke his eyes remained fixed on the small shape exactly halfway between wrist and elbow. The stylized leaf of Konohagakure was something he’d helped to design but he certainly hadn’t expected it to show up on his skin without warning. A soul tattoo. If he hadn’t put it there himself then the only possible explanation was that his soulmate had branded themselves with a tattoo at last, echoing itself on to Madara’s skin through the bond they shared. Suddenly it felt very difficult to swallow. Breathing, too, felt nearly impossible as he watched Tobirama hike up one of his own sleeves and turn his arm.

“It appears my suspicions were correct,” he heard the man say in a strangely gentle voice. “We are soulmates.” 

“How?” 

Startled, Tobirama blinked at him several times before venturing, “What do you mean how?”

He looked even more startled when Madara began to flail like he always did when his emotions got the better of him. 

“I mean how! This doesn’t make sense! It has to be some kind of coincidence, someone else saw your tattoo and got the same one. Something! How the hell can we be soulmates if this ink shows up but the ink all over your face doesn’t show up on mine!?” 

“What? Oh. Oh! I see.” Confusion blossomed in to understanding only to fade away in to something soft, something very much like the expression Tobirama reserved only for the rare moments he chose to show his fondness for the few people he was close to. Having such a look directed his way made the poor heart in Madara’s chest leap in several different directions at once. Or at least that was what it felt like. 

Feeling almost left behind, he demanded, “You see what?” Then he gasped when Tobirama reached up to touch one of his cheeks. 

“The marks on my face are not tattoos. They’re seals, much like the one Mito wears on her forehead, meant to store chakra in case of some emergency.” He traced the line of Madara’s jaw and leaned impossibly closer until they were breathing the same air. “Is that why you refused to speak to me? You wanted this. But you thought- ah. My own reticence comes back to bite me yet again. I’m sorry for the confusion.” 

“You should be,” was all Madara could think to say. Forming any thoughts at all felt incredibly difficult at the moment. 

“And how shall I make it up to you, hm?” 

It would have been impossible to name all the many emotions running through Madara’s veins at that moment. Years of watching and yearning in silence, years spent waiting for the inevitable madness so many Uchiha had fallen victim to, years of cursing his heart for treading this path towards his own doom. All of it had been for nothing. The man he loved was his soulmate after all - and more than that, Tobirama had not rejected him, seemed willing to entertain the notion even. Relief and happiness and consternation and anger and joy and confusion and desperation all wound together in a tight knot he feared would never come untangled again. Words failed him. And so he turned to action.

Tobirama, by some whim of mercy, did not laugh at him for having to stand on his toes in order to crush their mouths together. In fact he seemed more eager to reciprocate than anything else and Madara wondered if turning his eyes away so often had left him blind to things that could have been his a long time ago. He resolved not to ask. Whatever the answer was he was sure it would make him ashamed of his own dramatics. 

Several minutes had passed by the time his heels touched the ground again, though his hands remained where he hadn’t even noticed them twisting in to the other’s shirt. Madara closed his eyes and simply breathed for a moment. He still wasn’t entirely sure this wasn’t a dream. 

“Uchiha don’t love by halves,” he murmured in warning. “If we do this then we do it for real.” 

“I know.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

“Shut up and kiss me again.”

With a bone deep shudder Madara did. He fell in to Tobirama the way he’d never thought he would and when his soulmate caught him as easily as breathing he thought oh. 

So this is what it feels like to be loved. 

[rumandtimes]

The Right to Remain Uninhabited

Luke McLean

An Open Letter to Stop Space Exploration

The exploration of space receives more attention that almost any other science fiction topic. Whenever the news cycle wants to find something ‘sciency’ they turn to NASA, or one of its government contractors such as SpaceX. Questions about possibility or cost float through the collective conversation about space. One question not asked is whether space projects should be allowed to go forward, irrespective of cost.

Ask any commentator on space and they will advocate travelling interplanetary space to extend the human capacity in the universe. Some even point out that humanity will be linked to the mortality of the Earth, or the Sun itself, if people can never leave the planet.

For the sake of knowledge and exploration, and the indefinite preservation of the species, space advocates push people towards leaving the atmosphere and into the stars. They never stop to ask if humanity should go to these places, not just if they can.

Assuming interplanetary, interstellar, and intergalactic space travel were quick, safe, and free, what would be the obligation of humans to go to these places? Or to stay away?

Some enthusiasts submit that life itself is important and if humans can spread any form of life anywhere, then that is a gain for the entirety of the universe, beyond just the human interest. The “astro-ecologist” approach falls into a pit of bias, and forgets a truth of the world around us.

Distributing life is a human interest, because humans are dependent upon other life forms. Seeding ‘barren’ locations with life as a first step to developing an Earth-like ecosystem far from Earth is not a neutral or objective practice — any less neutral than a fungus cultivating lichens (not fungus) in an inhospitable environment to prepare for the direct spreading of its spores.

Shooting bacteria into the orbit of a foreign moon in planning of the eventual human conquest of that rock on the backs of those bacteria one day isn’t beneficial to the moon or the microbes participating in that man-made experiment.

The failure to understand nature in ecological outlooks leans on the fallacy that life is more important than existence. Life is not in balance. Life is not in peace. Life is dynamic, and self-interested, and relentless. Yet life wanes in comparison to the power and majesty of the inanimate and inorganic world. The stars, the mountains, the wind, the heavens, the earth. None can be called “alive,” but that does not mean they are not important or deserve a place in the world.

By artificially placing the interests of the living organisms over top of non-living world, and therefore biasing the interests of organisms such as humans over ecosystems in space, advocates for exploration and colonisation beyond the Earth make an argument about the priorities of all of existence.

The hubris to suggest that planets such as Mars, moons such as Luna, and stars such as Sol are at a detriment because they are devoid of life betrays the destructive and consumptive habits lifeforms can bring to any environment. To accept the truth of existence is to accept that most of the world is not alive, and not attempt to impose a value on that.

Space analysts pass around a regularly used thought experiment, a paradox about the lack of life in the galaxy. If human life is at all representative of common life forms, and if the galaxy is billions of years old, then the galaxy should be teeming with life — the story goes — but it isn’t. This isn’t a limit of observation, because the very need to look closely proves that life is not easy to find.

Is there a flaw in the scientific models of the cosmos? Or did all these lifeforms die off? What does that bear in mind for humanity?

This paradox bases an assumption on a “progressive” model of biology — that lifeforms will become increasingly specialised and complex, and eventually develop technologies which become more and more sophisticated and wide-ranging. The second assumption is that the so-called “advanced” life either has a drive to explore the galaxy, or takes no interest in their surroundings.

Neither of these assumptions should be granted to the famous story. Such assumptions impose a recent and idiosyncratic outlook of certain human societies as a universal, not only onto mankind throughout all of time, but onto the vastness of the universe itself. More importantly than exposing a problematic bias, the assumptions take no account of the non-living world.

If life-centric scientists believe so much in the power of life, they have to consider the origin of life. All living beings originated from non-living beings, no matter how much scientists try to create an artificial starting point by searching for the “origin of life” or “the first replicating cell.” The inorganic bourns the organic, so to any degree the living have rights then so do the non-living.

Plants and ecosystems that do not have life, or that maintain only microbial life, have a right to remain in their equilibrium without a human presence. Humans have a desire to replicate themselves and consume their environment, which led to the consumption of every continent on the Earth.

Conservationists have already made the criticism that humans should not have the right to pollute other planets merely as an escape from having recklessly polluted the Earth. The rights of other planets go deeper; It may be that they should not have humans on them at all, even in the unlikely utopia of a sustainable and well-behaved state.

From a planetary perspective, Earth created life on Earth, so should any Earth-being be open to find a place on Mars, or Jupiter? Should a Solar being be open to inhabit another star system? Not as a point of nationalism, but as a point of balance and of right, what place does an Earthling have on another planet?

On Earth, any person has the right to live in any nation on Earth because all humans have equal right and inheritance of the Earth, on an individual level. Because no human presence is natural or in balance with the surrounding environment, all human colonies are equally as natural as each other, creating a more unified experience.

Imagine, however, if there were a place of natural humans, adjacent the human colonies that now span the globe. The species inhabitants of those colonies would naturally view the human invaders as a pest, an infection, that came to inflict harm and consume the resources of the planet. Just as a human population feels unease with the introduction of a new predator or parasite, the rest of nature may have something to lose if humans commit to take resources while failing to replenish them.

As a species, humans must rely upon predation for energy and upon parasitism for habitancy — that is to say, people cannot make their own food or find a place to live without killing or displacing something else in order to eat or relocate it — so the capacity to replenish is necessarily small, and permanently limited; Any species which could produce its own food or live in harmony with nature could no longer be called a human, as humans are defined by their predatory and animated characteristics.

The human bias to consume in the face of mortality is not an excuse to violate the right to be uninhabited, which has been deprived of much of the Earth, and which remains in most of the universe. Everything in existence has a right to exist, and the ecosystems around the universe exist beyond a definition of life. Humans have no place to divide the world between living (us) and non-living (them), nor do they have a place to make a determination that lifeforms have more rights and powers than everything else. The “non-living” world has much greater majesty, beauty, and power than the “living” world could ever imagine.

As scientists can not even agree on what a definition for “alive” versus “not alive” is, it ought to be considered that there is no real difference, as the organic and inorganic live as one in the world, and each have a right to their continued existence but for the violation of each other. The doesn’t mean tsunamis have a right to obliterate human cities, nor does it mean that humans can imagine they have inherent dominion over the universe. The paradox of life in the galaxy is not the perceived absence of alien warships, but the paradox that if everything has an absolute right to exist, then in essence nothing does.

The point is, that no one has an absolute right to determine the fate of another planet, and humanity certainly does not have an absolute destiny to colonise the stars. If it could be said that any human being has an absolute destiny, that would be: to find a group of friends, have children, and then die. This is the fate of all healthy human lives, not more and not less — a social life, a new generation, and an inevitable fate. Space is not a convenient escape from reality, as much as furious fiction authors and the few immature billionaires (usually borne from tech rather than energy, retail, or finance) make it out to be.

There may be some voices tempted to say the world is a free-for-all. That any advantage one can get over the other, or on the surrounding world, is a victory, as in the end all life will come to an end eventually. Those tempted to say that give into the same human bias, looking out into the great, unfathomable world and regressing back to the basic penchant for consumption and self-proliferation; they fall back into fatalism and surrender to vices. There is a difference in accepting the lack of a right to life and losing respect for all life as it is. Human life has value, but not an absolute value. The entirety of the universe cannot be expected to share the anthropomorphic focus on self-preservation and perpetual growth.

There is no meaningful difference between the words “consumption and proliferation” versus the words “parasitism and infestation.” People usually use the word “infestation” to refer to non-human animals or microbes, but those animals probably wouldn’t commit to such a human-centric bias. To them, a human body is nothing more than a host, not a prize nor a victim. There is no moral component for the infesters. They view the human body as an open landscape of energy, space, and nutrients; they have no capacity to even understand that the human as a whole is somewhat united and self-aware.

Humanity resents being infected with bacteria or invading animals because they represent a loss of control and present a likelihood of death. But to the infecting faction, what is death? A once fertile, inanimate field of resources become [ inviable / unviable ] after being consumed. At their scale, there may be no difference, while at the human scale people know that is not the case.

People, including space advocates and scientists, have no right that they can understand nature at the planetary scale — just as the bacterial or insect parasite has no right capacity to understand humanity at the human scale. To understand the rights of existence at the human scale, one must be human, or looking down on humans. To understand the rights of existence at the planetary scale, one must be on the planetary scale, or the galactic scale, or encompassing the universal. That is impossible, as humans have no more chance to embody a planet they inhabit as a roach or a mosquito has to embody a human it consumes.

As we cannot begin to fathom the world around us, we should not be so eager to consume it all in the fears of our own mortality. Existence has a right to exist, distinct from the terms of human consideration. What is the end goal of space exploration? To discover the origin of life? The meaning of life? To one day leave the Earth and spread Earth-based life to other planets? While unlikely to happen in the least anyways, it should be questioned immediately whether these objectives are actually benign, or have anything to offer those other planets.

The secrets of human purpose likely do not exist on Mars, or the Moon, or even in the deepest core of the Sun. Even if they did, what exactly would we learn that we could apply? At what cost comes the destruction of those worlds?

Some call Singapore a marvel of human achievement, a world onto its own, but there was a world before the skyscrapers, and a world remains buried under the concrete, swirling aside the boiling oceans on the coast. Will Mars be the next “achievement?” Sprawling farms and condominiums upon what is currently a peaceful and balanced landscape? Not everything can be expressed in human terms. Failing to understand that reinforces that humanity has no place infecting the world with its presence, as humans seek to exploit those worlds for their own sake.

The world has the right to remain. Existence has the right to exist. In terms of people eying the cosmos, space has The Right to Remain Uninhabited.

[zeldahime]

cql college/job au xiyao edition

because these two have the potential to be the slowest of slow fucking burns and extremely excruciatingly painfully perfectly polite at all times

featuring: ta/student very-much-not-a-relationship, enough ust to set the entire humanities building on fire, corporate espionage, nie huaisang being the sneakiest and sweetest slytherin, background wangxian, nie mingjue being a boss, intense eye contact, let lan xichen say fuck, meng yao stress hours, WERE YOU ONLY PRETENDING TO BE DELICATE AND POOR, summer internship, background wangxian

it got uh. very long. so. 

meng yao starts working for nie enterprises when he’s 16 as a part-time janitor. he has two other part time jobs and is studying for his ged.

one day he solves some kind of problem that nie enterprises is having and nie mingjue likes this guy and promotes him to his personal assistant on the spot

nie huaisong is always flitting about his brother’s office etc, and they become friends and meng yao helps him with his homework.

when huaisong is getting ready to go to small posh private university, he will definitely need tutors. mingjue is happily persuaded into converting meng yao’s job into full-time huaisang babysitting tutoring, including paying for yao’s tuition and room and board to get a degree himself; his job is to make sure huaisang gets good grades and not in trouble. meng yao sees this for the golden ticket it is and very happily agrees. this is going to be the easiest job he’s ever had, and he’s got job security as long as huaisang doesn’t mess up too badly.

first day of classes, meng yao is 22 and looking around at the 30-odd 18-year-old trust fund babies with a sinking stomach telling him that he does not belong here.

this is a philosophy and ethics class like. in a literal ivory tower. this is possibly the last place he should be. 

and the most gorgeous man he’s ever seen in his life walks into the room with the professor. and he’s introduced as “and this is our TA, lan xichen.”

lan xichen smiles at the room with the kind of look that makes it feel like he’s making eye contact with everyone. and then he makes real eye contact with meng yao. “he’s attractive as hell,” they both think, and then think nothing of it.

but, it’s a small class. and it meets 3 times a week. and lan xichen shuts down someone who pokes at meng yao’s age, and meng yao asks questions perfectly tailored to making sure that huaisang and the other students actually understand the material. and by the end of week 2 they’re both saddled with an extremely unfortunate crush that they both need to get a handle on. for professionalism’s sake. they’re at work goddamn it.

and one day meng yao comes to office hours to ask a question that’s much more advanced than what they’re talking about in class, and in lan xichen’s tiny ta office talking about ethics, they are exceptionally and perfectly polite and appropriate and within the exact bounds of a ta-student relationship.

they are also both about to catch on fire.

this continues all school year, because it’s a two-part class. meng yao comes to office hours, and he and lan xichen are stringently appropriate the whole time, and at no point do they so much as brush fingers. they see each other every single day. 

huaisang thinks this is 1) absolutely hilarious and 2) the perfect distraction. he wingmans the hell out of meng yao in class, he third-wheels on office hours specifically to make it worse, and he arranges “chance” meetings between them outside of class. (he got some details about lan xichen’s daily schedule from wei wuxian, who he is eternally surprised is actually somehow getting information from lan wangji the silent wonder)

(he’s not getting it from lan wangji; lan xichen is wingmanning his little brother. the info wei wuxian is passing on is straight from the horse’s mouth.)

nie huaisang thinks he’s being very clever and sneaky in arranging his classes and portfolio to make it look like he’s just taking electives when he’s really planning on switching to a fine arts major at the last possible minute

he is being clever and sneaky, but meng yao knows what he’s doing anyway

meng yao is keeping that ball up in the air as long as he can though, because that’s a later-problem. 

in addition to falling in extremely professional love with his ta, his asshole dad has also come out of the woodwork and is trying to involve him in corporate espionage. which is less than super great. 

on the one side, asshole dad who hasn’t supported you in 22 years and didn’t care when your mother died when you were 16 and pushed you down the stairs because you had the audacity to ask for help, who will gladly frame you even if you don’t help. on the other hand, your boss, who has treated you well for a boss, but has explicitly told you your job depends on keeping his little brother as out-of-trouble as possible and who you don’t think will believe you

in this au, he’s solidly with the nie clan because: Golden Fucking Ticket, where the strings are “don’t let huaisang fuck up too bad,” and where “fuck up” means like. drunk driving or failing a class. he’ll probably even keep his job after huaisang’s art degree reveal. all dear old dad is offering is a jail sentence.

but he still needs to somehow convince jgs that he’s double-crossing nie enterprises without actually doing that, so that he doesn’t get framed for doing it.

it’s stressful.

lan xichen’s life isn’t roses and pearls either, though it’s not nearly as stressful as playing double-agent corporate espionage while also babysitting huaisang and getting a degree

lan xichen’s life is all about being the Dutiful Eldest Son so that lan wangji can have an inch of freedom

this includes becoming a corporate accountant (a job he’s bored just thinking about) and marrying a Good Girl From A Respectable Family (he is extremely gay), and eventually having 2.5 children and a white picket fence and a dog (he’s a cat person and doesn’t know what to do with children). he tells himself it’s all for lan wangji and it’s almost enough to make him want to do it.

being the ta for his thesis advisor’s philosophy and ethics class was supposed to be his Fun Indulgent Treat because he has no idea what “fun” or “indulgent” or “treat” mean

but now he’s in love with one of his students and that’s. not. good.

he’s all of 21 and he’s pretty sure he’s going to be blacklisted from all jobs for his entire life unless he manages, somehow, to keep anyone from knowing how entirely unprofessional he’s being. 

he is trying very hard to distract himself from his gayngst by helping wangji with his own. 18-year-olds can be so oblivious in love, he thinks, failing to see any irony at all.

he’s also been telling his bff mingjue about this extremely painful experience this entire time, under a pseudonym. if mingjue has to hear one more word about “Y”’s dimples, he’s going to scream and then he’s going to force Y into a closet with xichen and not let them out until they’ve solved this. he’s very tired.

at one point when he’s about to pass out from extreme eye contact, he gives meng yao his number so that he can “pass it to nie huaisang, in case he has any questions” and just. prays really hard that meng yao will text him after classes are over and he’s back to just being a grad student and they can be friends.

BUT. BEFORE HE HAS THE CHANCE. IN THAT TIME BETWEEN FINALS ENDING AND GRADES BEING TURNED IN.

lan xichen begins his summer internship at nie enterprises in accounting. and meng yao returns to fill in for an admin on her maternity leave. and they see each other in the break room. 

both of them: *internal gay screaming* Hi, what a coincidence, how are you doing? 

(boys, you are in different departments, nobody cares if you date as long as you don’t start fucking on the desks. they don’t know this because they’re young and very concerned with being Professional and with Career Advancement.)

they have Very Professional lunch together every day. and will buy each other coffee, Professionally. and it would be much more professional if they would just actually make out and then come to work like normal people instead of clearly wanting to make out every time they see each other and instead being Very Incredibly Professional with their words and actions.

mingjue clues in that this is Y. meng yao is Y. Oh my god, first i didn’t want to know that, second this is going to be so easy, and then i’ll never have to listen to xichen wax rhapsodic about his eyes again, he thinks.

he is incorrect. 

the harder he tries, the more vehemently perfect their professionalism becomes. which means he’s watching them have extremely intense eye contact at work and can’t actually say anything about it because, it’s just eye contact? what is he going to say? stop looking at people when delivering tps reports?

he also can’t say anything outright like “just. kiss. him.” because. he’s both of their Entire Boss. at the moment he’s xichen’s boss’s boss’s boss. he can’t do anything without probably violating sexual harassment laws.

mingjue is tired.

meanwhile the corporate espionage double-agent act is still ongoing and meng yao continues to be stressed

mingjue is alerted to meng yao “stealing” secrets and has a freak-out; he hasn’t slept in three days and he trusted meng yao and how could he? was this his plan all along WAS HE ONLY PRETENDING TO BE DELICATE AND POOR

xichen steps between them and insists there’s a reasonable explanation and jesus christ mingjue have you slept when was the last time you’ve eaten you look terrible let’s get you to bed and talk about this in the morning

(meng yao doesn’t realize that he’s clutched on to lan xichen’s suit until after he releases it and lan xichen is trying, very hard, to pretend that it didn’t happen because he won’t be able to think of anything else if it did)

xichen, immediately after mingjue is in huaisang’s care: i believe you, but what the fuck is happening, yao.

(if he wasn’t so rattled by the entire mingjue-reaming thing yao would be able to savor lan xichen saying fuck sooooo much better.)

(once yao explains it is a strain not to kiss him right then and there in that empty conference room but he deserves better than lan xichen, who can’t bring anything to the table and can’t even bring him home to eat at his table, because he is the Dutiful Eldest Son and his closet needs to be made of motherfuckin steel)

(huaisang knows exactly what the fuck is up and talks mingjue down, because meng yao is sneaky but he wasn’t counting on huaisang like. actually caring.) 

this is also the exact same day where lan wangji brings wei wuxian home for dinner and this goes. as well as might be expected. given Uncle hates everything about wei wuxian from his motorcycle to his leather to his attitude. but wangji is happy and he’s smiling and that’s why lan xichen is doing this. that’s why lan xichen is doing everything. 

the next day the 3-zun make a Plan to trap jgs and then get them audited by the irs, since if he’s doing shady espionage stuff he’s also almost certainly doing shady tax stuff (they’re right, he is)

after the internship is over, that very evening, lan xichen asks meng yao if he wants to “hang out, as friends”

oh, you thought this pining dysfunctional trainwreck was going to end here? buddy. lan xichen is in fucking narnia, he’s so deep in the closet, because he must be Dutiful.

they go on several not-a-dates doing Friend Things. and several study sessions where no studying is done. and eventually.

lan qiren: so when are you introducing me to your boyfriend? he seems like a good kid, nothing like that wei wuxian character

lan xichen.exe has stopped working

lan qiren: what, do you think i’m blind? he either is your boyfriend or he should be. good head on his shoulders. *returns to his newspaper*

turns out lan xichen’s self-sacrificial bargain with the universe was borne from a place of living in a heteropatriarchy and not actually from the reality of his uncle’s beliefs, who knew

(lan qiren loves his nephews and wants them to be happy. he also has eyes, in his head, that connect to his brain. he knew xichen was probably gay by the time the kid was 14, and started reading books with titles like “how to accept your gay son” in the living room. xichen assumed this was about wangji, because he also has eyes and wants his baby brother to be happy. wangji bringing a boy home was actually a big surprise to his uncle. this family does not actually talk to each other about things.)

anyway the next friend-not-a-date that he and yao go on, he asks yao on a real date.

he is bracing for rejection when yao kisses??? him???? for some reason?????

they make out &c. this is the boring part

they have a conversation about their feelings and discover that they’ve both been in love for a year a YEAR a fucking year. then they make out some more because lost time.

fin.

[samwrights]

Elixir - Punk!AU mini-series

Hi guys! So I wanted to write something a little different. Not necessarily a “choose your own adventure” but something along those lines. This mini series will be a Punk!AU where the reader is in a band where your story depends on the person you choose! While no place is actually mentioned, I’m thinking Chicago (home sweet home) for setting. I’ve been working on this between requests and, while the requests keep coming, I’m trying to get the routes going. For now, I present to you the prologue.

Thank you quarantine, necessary drives to my Starbucks, Halestorm, Neck Deep, Pierce the Veil, and Paramore for inspiring these babies. Hope you enjoy!

Warnings: there will be swearing, smoking of cigarettes and weed, consumption of edibles and alcohol, cheating and possibly be NSFW. I haven’t decided on the last one yet. Everyone will be of legal US age for consumption of nicotine, marijuana, and alcohol in the present day (18+ in some states for tobacco, 21+ in for everything else). However, there are mentions of underage consumption/distribution of alcohol. These are genuinely mature themes! If you are unable to understand that these themes are not encouraged to be re-enacted, specifically cheating and underage consumption/distribution of nicotine, alcohol, or marijuana, please do not read for your own safety.

A complementary playlist can be found  »  here

Photocredit by @scandeniall​

Word Count: 3504

Prologue is below the cut!

You had been trying to ignore the gnawing thrum of discomfort that had worked its way into your intuition the last few weeks, but today the dull throb had transcended into an alarm blaring at the back of your consciousness. Like your body was trying to tell you something that should have been painstakingly obvious, yet when you attempted to pinpoint the cause, you fell short with an answer.

Period? Nah, too early for that.

Food poisoning? That wouldn’t last multiple weeks.

Pulled a muscle at the gym? That was a joke, considering you hadn’t gone to a gym since your senior year of college.

Anxiety? Well that was a given, considering you had a nasty gut feeling about something.

Stress? Stress was nothing new. In fact, stress was a very familiar friend to you.

What the fuck was it?

Even meditating on the thought for the last three hours, an answer had yet to come to you. Without ever finding one, you reluctantly pull the plush covers off of your queen sized bed and push yourself up to sit on the edge before checking your phone’s lock screen for the time. 1:23pm. You still had quite some time before you needed to leave for band practice, but you knew full well that laying in bed any further would encourage your current laziness. Making your way around the clothes that haphazardly littered your disheveled bedroom floor, you entered your bathroom to shower and get ready for the day.

The warmth of the water did little to quell the unsettling feeling that emanated from your gut. You even attempted to center your with old therapy tactics such as identifying all of your surroundings, such as which muscles of your body the shower was raining upon or the different notes in your voice that reverberated off the shower walls as you subconsciously sang. When that had failed, you allowed your mind to wander through the metaphorical meadow that resided in your brain.

At first, your mind focused on whatever lyrics fell from your lips, recognizing the prose as one of your band’s songs. Connecting the words that were committed to memory with people, your mind began to wander to your friends—the three boys you were thankful enough to call your best friends of a decade and members of your band, Elixir—Tetsurō Kuroo, Takahiro Hanamaki, and Yūji Terushima.

Kuroo, or Tetsu as you sometimes called him, was the guitarist of Elixir and the “mastermind” behind the name of your little group. Mastermind being a relatively loose term, as at the time, you all had felt indifferent to the name. But as nobody had come with any better alternatives, you all had stuck to it until it had grown on you. Kuroo was a year younger than you and, outside of the band, was a chemist for a small time company at the ripe age of twenty six. As you thought of him, you let out a soft snort that nobody but you could hear, thinking of his disheveled raven haired locks that framed his face; thinking of his earlobe holes that had been stretched out to nearly half an inch in diameter; thinking of the myriad of tattoos that littered his body from neck to toe. Sometimes, it did seem a little funny that this man had to wear a lab coat on the daily. You were so proud of him and of his accomplishments. He was ambitious and driven, focused on his goal of succeeding in both his field and with his band. Whether that meant recording an album and touring or just continuing to have fun was unknown, since really he would be fine with either or both.

Entertaining your analytical thoughts about Kuroo brought you to the bassist of your band, Takahiro Hanamaki, as you had met them both at your high school jobs in a local cafe. Makki, though he initially seemed profoundly reserved, had a relaxed sense of humor that typically came at the expense of others. At the time, he was a distinct contrast to Kuroo’s loud, antagonistic nature. Now, the two of them began to take bits and pieces of each other’s personalities. While Makki’s cool, composed self remained, he also was not one to avoid baiting someone just to crack a joke or tease them, an attribute he had adopted over the years of exposure to you and the guitarist. However, his laidback attitude was almost never immediately acknowledged by strangers, as his lanky build and harrowing, deep set eyes typically intimidate those who don’t know the light hearted bassist. And while he wasn’t the most “modified” member of the band, many saw the two eyebrow rings that rested above the right brow and, in conjunction with his natural features, immediately assumed the impression that Makki was unapproachable. You always had a soft spot for Makki and his slightly misunderstood ways.

Speaking of misunderstood brought your mind to the youngest member of your quartet—Yūji Terushima, or Teru as you affectionately called him. While he was only a year younger than the boys, two years in comparison to you, he was the life energy of the squad. When he had entered the cafe in which you, Kuroo, and Makki worked at for his first day, it felt that the final missing piece of the puzzle had been found, though you didn’t know it yet. It had been a year later, with you officially accepting the role of supervisor instead of trainer and Kuroo being your replacement. The two hit it off swimmingly and, while Makki didn’t necessarily match his energy, he compensated with humor. Terushima was, and still is, a wild thing. He breathes life into the rest of you by offering up crazy adventures that varied from a simple 2am Walmart trip to breaking into forest preserves at the dead of night to swim in a creek even though you had finals to attend to the following morning. In a sense, Terushima was the very reason Elixir had been born. After all, he was the one who encouraged each you to learn covers of songs until the interest had been sparked enough to learn how to properly play everyone’s respected instruments.

Backtracking your thoughts—finals. Finals meant university, and university was probably the most wild time of your life. As the friendship between the four of you continued to blossom with years passing, you all had made a pact to attend the same university. At one point, it had been tricky, trying to decide on where you were going to go and if you wanted to wait for Teru to catch up due to the age gap or if you, as the eldest, were going to pave the way for your juniors. It came as a surprise to the boys when you announced that you would wait, taking a two year gap in order to save money to lessen the blow of tuition in your bank account. Even more surprisingly, Kuroo and Makki had agreed with each other to do the same—what was the point in you staying behind and waiting for Yūji if they weren’t going to as well?

Waiting for Terushima turned out to be the absolute best idea ever. While you were initially hesitant to be rooming with three boys, friendship be damned, the four of you getting an apartment together for your university years was the best chaotic good moment you had ever been involved in. In a way, you all had gotten to celebrate many firsts together because of it. Did it bother you that you were a slightly older freshman? Sure, a little bit. Did it matter? Not at all, considering you were able to start buying liquor and beer as a sophomore in college and, as soon as your younger peers found out, you had turned it into a business to help pay rent for your shared apartment. Oddly enough, Terushima was the one who handled all of the expenses and calculated what you should be charging for your, ahem, “services”. Go figure, the youngest of you all was a math whiz. There was one unwritten rule for the apartment—no parties. Period. You could use your services to grab whatever supplies needed, whether it be alcohol, weed from a dispensary, or cigarettes, they were for your guys’ personal use only. Home was meant to home, and that was that.

Home; probably the single most important word in the entirety of your personal dictionary. While home was most often defined as a place in which a person or family resides, it meant something entirely different to you. Being home meant being with your best friends, your family. It meant being free to be yourself, unapologetically and unabashedly. And, maybe after rummaging through every single thought and analyzing each one through a metaphorical microscope, maybe that was where the disturbance in your intuition—that nasty gut feeling residing in the pit of your stomach—was coming from. There was something that you could not quite place that was disturbing your freedom, your home. Coming to the realization that your hot water had now gone cold, prompting you to shut it off and seek refuge and warmth in a fluffy towel and robe. Had it gone cold in that moment—the moment you realized why you had been on edge? Or had it been running cold out of irony that you had been in meditation for so long you hadn’t even realized it? You would never know the answer.

2:07pm. You still had plenty of time before band practice, considering both Makki and Tetsu would still be at work for another hour. To give them ample time to unwind from their work day, practice always started at five in the evening. In an attempt to kill time, you opted to make yourself a small lunch before sitting down to do your hair and makeup so as that you felt more comfortable being in public. Not that the boys cared—they lived with you for four years in university, they knew what you looked like at your absolute worst. Perhaps it became a habit to do so when you re-entered the working world as a full fledged adult three years ago.

2:29pm. After having your lunch, even taking the time to do all the dishes before moving into your next task—getting ready. While you didn’t feel the need to go overboard on your appearance, since it was just practice after all, you still had a solid hour and a half before Elixir was supposed to meet. Having plenty of time to kill allowed you to take your time to forego some self-care as well; maybe giving your locks a little extra tender love and care if you felt you needed it; plucking stray eyebrow hairs that had grown just a bit further outside of your desired shape. You checked the time on your phone again after you felt your look was complete, hair, makeup, and all. How the fuck had only an hour gone by? That was way more effort than you normally put in, or so you claim, yet time seemed to be mocking you.

3:36pm. If you could magically waste time picking out an outfit to wear to practice, you were doing so now. One part of you almost wanted to chuck on the leather pants you would potentially be sporting for tomorrow evening so as to give them a slight stretch and make them more comfortable while you performed. Another said to just keep it simple, and stick to leggings and a nice loose tee to keep you at ease. The last option that your mind entertained was wearing shorts and a tank because it always got so hot in Terushima’s basement during practice. You even went so far as to try on multiple shirts and tops that were essentially the same, swapping out different preferred accessories to see if you liked the look, if only to make the minutes tick by. Hell, you even tried multiple pairs of shoes, lacing each foot individually before the clock had passed four in the afternoon. Eventually, you tied on your typical, everyday combat boots despite the wasted minutes trying to do a wardrobe check. Now that there was only an hour left for Elixir to begin arriving the at the drummer’s family home, you decide to give yourself ample time to stop by and grab coffee for everyone.

4:13pm. You send a text message out to your mates, waiting for them to reply with what you knew would be their typical orders. Well, as typical as it could be considering Terushima was always trying out crazy concoctions. One by one they responded and of course, your assumptions were correct when Teru sent in his drink that took up four rows of text. “What in the actual fuck?” You grumbled out, squinting at your phone while simultaneously trying to enter your car. Following your typical routine of turning on whatever guilty pleasure playlist you were feeling in that moment and lighting a cigarette, you glanced at your friends order one more time before ultimately deciding to place the order online. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself ordering Yūji’s stupid drink. After placing the order, you made your way to a Starbucks closest to the aforementioned boy’s family home.

The drive to Terushima’s wasn’t a particularly long, even with the coffee run. Traveling between two suburban towns typically only took about twenty minutes regardless of the direction you were coming from, though you hadn’t taken into account the long line wrapping around the Starbucks Drive-thru. Not that it mattered—you were still on time for practice. Even if it seemed all of your friends were already here. Cautiously exiting your car with the tray of drinks in one hand while you let yourself into the Terushima residence.

His parents greeted you warmly as you always did before you made your way down to the basement. “Ayeeee, there’s momma.” Makki greets, taking the tray from your hands and distributing everyone’s respective drinks. Small talk place between band members, distracting you from the other three people in the basement—your bandmates’ girlfriends. When you did finally acknowledge their presence, you gave them a tight lipped smile, so as not to be rude, though they only gave a blank stare before bringing their attention back to the phones in their hands. You gave a roll of your eyes. It wasn’t that you didn’t like them, per se. It was more along the lines of you were the only female in the band and they automatically assumed that you were out to steal their mans. Not the case, especially considering you all formed the band before any of them were even in the picture, but go off.

Having already finished your beverage from earlier, you began plugging in the microphone into the amplifier and tuning the guitar you used for a small number of songs. Everyone else seemed to be ready to go except for you, who was strapping on the aforementioned guitar to prepare for the insanity of an opening that is Kuroo’s masterpiece. Besitos, he called it. Spanish for little kisses, you often wondered where the romantic title had come from considering the narrative was less than pleasant, even foreshadowing murder in the final verse. When you asked him about the inspiration for the lyrics and the title, Kuroo did nothing but laugh, adding in, “I’ll tell you when you’re older.”

The second song was a project curated by your drummer, Terushima. Brick by Boring Brick was a song that he claimed was inspired by his girlfriend, which was an endearing gesture if that were the truth. But from what you and the rest of Elixir had known of his girlfriend, she didn’t come off as a person plagued with baggage. Not that you could base it solely off of appearance, but with her and Yūji’s short lived relationship, it was a bit unbelievable that he had unlocked her tragic backstory in a matter of three months. Then again, what did you know? You didn’t even remember her name.

The title of the third song, Growing Pains, always made you laugh at the irony considering that Makki’s tall ass wrote the song. While a romantic, upbeat love song from Teru didn’t strike you as a shock, it certainly did coming from the bassist. Emotions that danced in the “love” category didn’t really sway him often. Maybe his girlfriend was just that special to him? You weren’t sure, because once again, you knew none of their names. But you knew for a fact that the song seemed to call for something more stable, endearing growth together and support for each other, which had you questioning how long had you been apart from your friends.

After the third song, you were winded and uncomfortable and no amount of water you chugged was helping you with sweat and dehydration. “I’m gonna die tomorrow.” You joked after setting your water bottle down by your microphone stand.

“We’re only a third of the way through the set, headass.” Terushima joked, pulling down his lower left eyelid and sticking his tongue out to you.

“For real, it’s only been like twenty minutes since we started practice.” Kuroo chided.

“Yeah, but can we smoke instead? I think there were a few things we should tune up before moving onto the next third of the set.” You looked to your guitarist with pleading eyes, holding a cigarette and lighter between your fingers. Makki, without saying anything else, pulled out a small bowl and packed it. He knew that any form of pleading made Kuroo a weak man, which inevitably meant a smoke break was up next rather than continuing on with work.

“Fine.” Despite the mock defeat in his tone, Kuroo is already gliding up the stairs, taking two steps at a time with you in tow. More steps could be heard, but they were lighter than the boys you had come know so well, meaning the three stooges were most likely following suit, despite them not being smokers themselves.

You and Kuroo were currently seated on a stone barricade as you lit your cigarettes, the rest of the crew picking at sporadic seats along the wall. Teru and Makki were next to each other to share their bowl while their girlfriends sat on the outside of them, just to your right. Kuroo’s girlfriend had taken up occupying the space between you and your guitarist and, maybe for a moment, you were wondering they were deliberately arranged this way.

The worst part of the girlfriends accompanying practice, in your eyes, was not their presence, but rather the fact that you felt like you couldn’t even talk to your best friends, your bandmates at band practice, because they were too busy comforting them so that they “didn’t feel out of place”. Regardless, you respected your friends enough to not make the situation more difficult for them—if you needed to say something, you could say it in the basement where spectator talk was not welcome. Out of the corner of your eye while you were internally monologuing, you see the lanky arm of Makki offering you the bowl, a few cinders of his hot still lit. With poor timing, he grabbed your attention while you were exhaling the smoke in your lungs, unintentionally doing so onto his girlfriend. “Shit, I’m sorry.” She rolled her eyes, though you know you didn’t do it on purpose. Whatever, she had her truths. You held up your hand that squeezed the filter of your cigarette between your index and ring finger. “I’ll get it on the next turn,” making Makki shrug and pass the small glass bowl back to the drummer.

A couple more drags of your cigarette soothes your craving for nicotine and when the paper had finally burned all the way to the end of the filter, you tossed the butt into the dead fire pit that acted as the center for your gathering. Terushima stands up real quick to hand you the bowl that had been nearing its end—giving you the last couple hits before it was cashed. When it came to marijuana, you didn’t smoke very often, but today you were grateful for the offering. Maybe the high would take the edge off of your...anxiety? No, that wasn’t it. Irritation seemed to be a better fit.

The seven of you shuffle back into the basement, rearranging yourselves, and knocking back a beer. “Okay, so before we move on, is there any song that you guys think we should work on before moving to the next third of the set?” You asked, your back towards your audience while you looked at your bandmates in earnest. They looked at each other, before locking eyes with you.

“Is there anything you want to work on? You’re the one who’s switching around with instruments and you’re the one who runs around on stage so we’ll leave it up to you.” Kuroo says evenly. You pursed your lips in uncertainty, think back to how each song sounded.

“Ya know what, let’s work on...........”

[ Besitos ] » Kuroo’s Route

[ Brick By Boring Brick ] » Terushima’s Route

[ Growing Pains ] » Makki’s Route.

BONUS: Terushima’s Starbucks order.

[inumaqi]

top ten tagged by @linkspooky 🍊 explanations under the cut! sorry for rambling xo → rules: name your top ten favourite characters from ten different fandoms, and then tag ten people - @osomanga @kara-suno @anonimarevolts @zeninmaki @wildbishonen @shysheeperz @tkmewthyou @kaldurlenn @joxterism @marshmallowdonutsprinkles

snufkin okay so he’s the only one not from an anime or manga but i had to put him on bc he’s the most important fictional character to me, ever. i grew up watching the moomin cartoons in the 90s and thinking about it instantly calms me down - they used to air the episodes early in the morning when it would still be dark outside: the landscapes were moody and cosy, the characters were so softly spoken and articulate... it’s just peak nostalgia. anyway, snufkin is moomin’s best friend; he returns to moominvalley every year to be with his friends during the spring and says his goodbyes to go adventure again come winter. it upsets moomin when he leaves but snufkin is adamant that quiet and solitude are important and healthy, and it’s not fair to expect him to compromise on his independence - that made a really big impact on me as a kid, especially as someone who never really had their ‘own’ space (twinsies). relationships aren’t weakened by physical distance or time, they’re about communication and understanding. that was important too. i don’t think i realised just how influential it had been until i was an adult but snufkin is an anarchist. he first shows up in the comics when moomin and sniff are talking about opening a bank - he tells them they should plant fruit trees instead. he destroys private property and rescues orphans, he refuses to participate in things that don’t bring him joy. when he’s asked where home is, he replies, “nowhere. or everywhere! it depends how you look at it” - the whole world belongs to him, and the whole world belongs to everyone else too.

yomo renji in general, i like characters that trudge along in the background and do the nitty-gritty work that supports the main story. i like people like that irl too. more than anything else, yomo is desperate to form human connections, even though he’s shackled by self-doubt and self-loathing. he just wants to positively contribute to a community, thinking he’s most useful keeping a quiet eye on people who might need protection/guidance (while still giving them space to grow and act themselves) or foraging for human corpses so that others aren’t in danger or moral anguish doing it for themselves.

bird boy is a total weapon - “the perfect ghoul” - and you’re reminded over and over again but a lot of his growth is about rejecting violence and repurposing his power as something productive that he can use to help the people around him instead of hurting people (the yang to uta’s yin). in the first few chapters, he says he kills humans (he’s a ghoul, humans are food, it’s natural) and yet he’s consistently framed as a scavenger who seeks out ‘roadkill’ [suicide victims] for sustenance, even before coming to anteiku, and implements a system so other people can do the same.

suguru getou i was originally gonna say meg bc i love him but, having just finished The Flashback Arc, i can’t stop thinking about getou and i’m beyond impressed with how akutami has managed to ground him so well, so sympathetically. getou is the sick, warped darkness to the hopeful light that gojou commands but... in an uncomfortable twist, the reverse is true, kind of.

actually, gojou is arrogant and confrontational and hyper individualistic. he’s a dissident. getou is obedient, compassionate, self-aware... he has a sense of social responsibility and passionately believes that his skills should be used to protect those who can’t protect themselves - non-jujutsu sorcerers - and all of the suffering he endures as a result is worth that. idk if others are reading his downfall differently but, from where i’m standing, that overwhelming responsibility never goes away, he doesn’t give up on it - he just starts to view the social landscape differently and begins to see how jujutsu sorcerers are vilified and mistreated in spite of all the good that they do. the ‘weak’ aren’t really weak when they’re able to organise and assert collective power over a minority, and so his sympathies shift.

the nail in the coffin for getou is learning that the hurt and pain could be eradicted from the world by cutting the head of the proverbial snake: non-jujutsu users generate cursed energy, so get rid of non-jujutsu users and cursed energy won’t be generated. it’s all horribly, weirdly rooted in good intentions that weigh him down and misdirect him.  shinazugawa genya i feel like the bond that slowly starts to develop betwen tanjirou, and zenitsu and inosuke (in particular) is nicely foiled by genya’s lonely journey towards becoming a pillar. after losing almost all of his family and having sanemi walk away, genya is angry, antisocial, rude, violent, evasive...

he’s characterised as competitive, as if he hates his peers and wants to leave them in the dust as an act of self-satisfaction, a power fantasy or whenever, but this is a deliberate misdirection to cover for the fact that he’s scrambling to be a pillar so that he can reconnect with his brother and prove to him that he can protect himself; that sanemi doesn’t need to shoulder everything alone like he used to. his entire goal is an act of apology.

and in a story where so many characters are able to hone these exceptional skills, genya is uniquely disadvantaged as the only one who can’t master breathing techniques. rather than having a hero moment and powering up, his need to reconnect with sanemi is so strong that he essentially decides to compromise his humanity and become a kind of monster by ingesting the demons he’s pledged to annihilate. amajiki tamaki i wish i had a a longer explanation for this one but it’s actually super simple: tamaki is a really, really, really good portrayal of a person burdened with severe anxiety. the way he physically carries himself, the way he hides his face, his manner of speaking, his dependency on his mirio, how he interprets compliments as trickery, how he needs to be pushed and pushed and pushed before he’s finally able to release his potential... every single scene with tamaki felt deeply personal when i was reading bnha and i knew exactly what he was supposed to be feeling. shinmon benimaru sometimes good, nice people don’t fit a little friendly mould and i like that benimaru is hostile and rough and antisocial, even with people he cares about. he doesn’t expect anything of people, he doesn’t want them interfering with him, and he wants to help and support them all the same because he believes in community. he’s completely oppositional to the special fire force because he thinks it’s a tool to pursue an ideology rather than to protect people, which is why it’s so important when the eighth are finally able to win his approval - they become the only company the seventh consider allies, and it’s proof that their objectives are righteous. despite his reputation as... kind of a nuisance, his skill is acknowledged by everyone and he’s universally regarded as the strongest fire soldier there is. in spite of his antisocial attitude, he agrees that it’s important to share that with younger fire soldiers - he’s incredibly patient and understanding with them, helps them to individually adapt. the way he (and others in company seven) operate in contrast to the other companies when fighting infernals is really cool to me for two reasons: (1) it provides a commentary on how cultures and traditions often struggle to survive when they’re systematically (forcefully) replaced through power and wealth - although the subtext is a little troubling because it’s unclear whether ōkubo is conflating multiculturalism with globalisation which, uh, big nope; and (2) philosophically speaking, the approach to death is interesting. where the other companies essentially perform last rites and offer absolution to the deceased, benimaru personally takes responsibility - at the request of the people in his district - for sending them off in huge public display, kind of like a festival intending to celebrate their life. i think it speaks to how profoundly he values life. akihiko kaji i liked akihiko from the beginning because he’s stoic and introspective and also excitable and dumb. he’s a people watcher and waits for opportunities to softly guide uenoyama and mafuyu when they’re quietly crying out for help but doesn’t interfere any more than he thinks is necessary because he knows they can make their own way to where they need to go. i liked akihiko even more when he got really fucking messy. his relationship with ugetsu is sweet and it’s incredibly ugly and unhealthy because they both fail utterly to communicate with one another - they’re both to blame for avoiding and hurting each other, and i think that’s a really normal issue that people find difficult to overcome. i’m super interested (and really nervous) to see how his relationship with haruki develops. he’s done some horrible things to haruki and i want him to be accountable for those things and have them affect their relationship in a realistic way.

tanigaki genjirou one thing i really, really love about golden kamuy is the way noda satoru incorporates the importance of minority cultures into the story, and tanigaki’s apparent abandonment of his matagi heritage is really beautifully written. matagi hunting traditions shaped his life as a young man, it’s how he was able to really assimilate to the people around him and form relationships and - without getting too spoilery - he divorces himself from it all when he’s overcome by grief and hatches a plan for revenge against the person responsible. so, by allowing himself to surrender to negative feelings and thoughts instead of seeking support and learning to heal from what happened, he becomes a total shadow of himself. 

makimura takeshi i know i’ve gushed about it before but i can’t properly explain just how incredible it felt seeing an asexual character in manga dialogue about being asexual, and devils’ line does it twice. the reason i’m so attached to makimura in particular is because he doesn’t seem to have fully figured it out - and he’s kinda... comfortable with that. he wants to be with someone and he wants to be monogamous but he can’t understand why he doesn’t feel sexual desire towards her; he knows his feelings aren’t platonic but doesn’t know whether they can really be called romantic either.

not to go dark mode but i very vividly remember just how lonely and horrifying it was battling with those uncertainties when i was a teenager, thinking i was broken because i didn’t have Normal Human Feelings and needed to be fixed. i was so worried about it that i thought about all the boys i knew, picked the one i thought was the nicest and actively tried to develop a crush on him. it was dumb as fuck but, ten years later, i realise it was really desperate and sad too. i forced myself to have ~my first kiss~ (it was horrible) because i felt like i was getting left behind and i think i would’ve put myself in worse situations as i got older if i hadn’t suffered with such bad social anxiety.

i hadn’t really thought too much about a lot of this stuff for yeaaars but it all came flooding back when i was reading devils’ line. it was bittersweet bc i was remembering all of those shitty feelings but also watching this character grapple with those same questions and go: i don’t know yet and that’s not weird, let’s just grow with it. i still don’t totally know whether i’m ace or aro or bi, or whatever, but i’m trying to be okay with just... not knowing.

misora shuuji anyway, devils’ line isn’t actually a manga with a specific focus on sexuality and gender but shimanami tasogare is and all of the characters are written beautifully. if you haven’t read it yet... then why haven’t you read it yet? misora is only about twelve years old and watching them battle with their growing pains is really compelling - they’re closeted but, through the lounge, they have somewhere to explore their gender and all the questions they have about it. they’re amab and present as traditionally feminine wrt clothes, wigs, makeup, etc. but can’t quite tell if they see themselves as a girl, a boy or non-binary.

with the onset of puberty and anxieties about physical changes to their body, misora’s story puts a lot of emphasis on the pressure they face to just ‘make up their mind’ about something that’s actually incredibly complex and doesn’t have any easy answers. they snap and shout and get upset, especially when tasuku (the protag) tries to push them into a corner because he wants a concrete label or identity he can attach to misora, even though space is exactly what misora needs.

[linkinaboxx]

Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

I’m American and I will make this school much better. Screw Canon is stupid.

Countries of North America:

Canada

USA

Mexico

Greenland

School rules!(Aka headcanons):

Uniforms are only required for special events

One language course is required but Two(Different Languages) is the norm

There are a lot of ghosts

talk to the kitchen ghost he likes to chat but only knows Spanish so learn basic Spanish or be shunned, His name is Miguel and he likes to cook and enjoys the modern era

Make fun of someone’s culture/religion/customs/accent is instant detention and you have to write a 2 page apology letter.

If there is a fight take it outside and don’t bleed on your homework

Put your full name on something that can be lost, there are a lot of students and there will be name repeats

No moose/horses/cattle/deer/dragons/large animal not on the approved list in the cafeteria

If you need to order something go to the mock school at the front gates and order it, remember to use your own amazon account and card

Package day is on the monday and wednesday, if something comes in between you will have to walk down there and check yourself

letters are to be received during Lunch (and if requested by sender, when arrived)

there is a lot of bbqs on the weekends, just ask and you might get a plate. Maybe bring a pack of sodas

Tech in the dorms during school hours and for love of the gods beings damn pencil! We are not hogwarts! Notebooks and pencils none of the quill bull!

don’t scare the transfers

don’t prank the other schools(hogwarts can’t take other schools having fun and DON’T take a ‘drink’ from Koldovstoretz students, they have lax rules we don’t)

Make friends but remember they have different customs so be respectful and maybe learn or teach them something

It’s a free for all move in week

Treat others with kindness and respect, please do not fight other students… or schools

General headcanons

They have two people to a room and it’s fun. The dorms are huge towers near the front of the building are are huge spiral ramps with rooms. Co Ed dorms but only boys can be roommates with boys and girls can only be roommates with girls.

Some kids can do wandless magic with ease while others struggle, it depends on the student ’s genetics

They don’t tiptoe around history, they tell it how it is. There was a lot of white washing in the beginning but in more recent (last 80-90 years) years they have been trying to find out was truly happened and they are close to find out the full and true story

There are a lot of smaller wizarding schools it’s just that Ilvermorny is the biggest

The entrance to the wizard town around Ilvermorny is threw a fireworks stand

There is a lot of creature studies, the kids love it.

There has been rumors of changing the school name but no one can decide on a name

The headmaster is a nice Native American man and his wife and they don’t take your sh**

Mr Miguel the kitchen ghost is the head of the kitchen and culinary course, he’s very willing to learn new recipes and has a huge binder of recipes.

Lunch it spent anywhere the kids please as long as they don’t leave campus

All travel is covered by the school

It’s not in Massachusetts, the old school is in Massachusetts. The building was abandoned after a couple decades. The building is in southern Colorado/north New Mexico. It’s in the middle of the two basically. It has a LOT of land surrounding the buildings.

Bill Nye is a wizard that teaches at the school and he is 100% the most loved teacher there

Call teachers Ms/Mr last name, or professor last name. Otherwise is a big student cringe since they all were raised to say mr/ms

They made their own cheerleading teams because a lot of kids were disappointed they couldn’t continue their hobby

Lots of people lots of trouble

The student to teacher ratio is 13:1 but classes tend to be 15-28 students per class if there is one teacher

The new buildings of the school where actually built in the early 1900’s witch is when a new man was elected to take over the school

The way to get to school is a subway, there are hundreds of subways that lead to the school’s mock school. It costs nothing and makes it easy for people from all over North America to get to school

Castelobruxo (Brazil’s school) and Ilvermorny like each other, the students tend to hang out together when the quidditch matches take place. The Castelobruxo kids love the cheerleading Routines that the Ilvermorny kids put together.

Southern Hospitality is absolutely thriving.

So many animals… SO MANY

permanently frozen lake, it’s fun

Wizard Girl scots, they get so much money

Goes from age 10/11 to 19/20 but there are optional years of 19/20 - 23/24 it’s FREE, it’s wizard college

They have to wear something symbolizing their house, often a jacket, hat or bandana. But the uniform isn’t mandatory

Smart but dumbasses

They found their way to take electronics into school. Nothing stops a spiteful American.

NOTHING.

They find it hilarious that most other schools don’t have tech

The stairs move but the kids are having NONE of it. A cheerleader threw her bag and jumped onto the stairs grabbed her bag and bolted to her physics class. Nothing stops a cheerleader who’s close to failing physics.

It was in front of Hogwarts students, it shocked them.

Quidditch isn't very popular, they like hockey and (American) soccer more, no magic or anything just fun. Kids also like to teach American football but tend to go easier on the kids that are much smaller than they are.

They compete against the

Therapy is provided.

They doing WAY better then the rest of the US rn

There are no stairs, only ramps. That is because people like to skate down the ramps and it was easier to just make stairs ramps then repainting the railing like 100 times a year

Freedom of expression

They don’t have a lot of history to talk about they talk a lot about other countries.

Almost everyone Can to the splits or something close to it.

They study normal classes but now as uselessly.

Pe is a thing

More to come

[gamesception]

So the Outer Worlds port finally came out on the switch a couple weeks ago, which is what I had been waiting for to give it a try.  Beat my first play through yesterday.  And... honestly?  I kind of expected better.  Like, a lot better.

Not getting into the technical side, since I’d have no idea how to separate the stuff that was Obsidian’s fault from stuff that was Virtuous’s fault from stuff that just comes down to the Switch itself.  Also because technical stuff doesn’t affect my own experience overmuch - I can’t easily spot the difference between 30fps and 60fps unless someone points it out to me, and as long as a game is at least on par with, like, the ps2 era graphically then it looks good to me - though I will say the game crashed twice while I was playing it AND I had a random quest breaking companion death bug that by the time I noticed it I only barely had a save far enough back that I was able to fix it, and the game performed badly enough docked that even I gave up on playing it on the tv and just went with handheld....

But again, I’m not overly concerned with the technical end and wouldn’t necessarily blame obsidian for the shortcomings of the switch port anyway.  But where the game was disappointing was in areas that I was sure Obsidian would deliver in - an immersive world with believable and engaging factions and societies, interesting and well written quest lines and npcs, a main story with something compelling to say and a lot of opportunities for subtle role playing.  The stuff that New Vegas did so much better than Fallout 3, or that KotOR 2 did so much better than KotOR 1.  Stuff that the reviews around the time of the game’s release on other platforms all praised the Outer Worlds for.

And that’s.... like...  I mean, Outer Worlds isn’t terrible, I enjoyed my time with it more than I didn’t, but wow I expected more.  The game is short, the explore-able areas are relatively small, and, like, it’s really really dumb in a lot of exactly the same ways that people complain about Bethesda Fallout games - token quests that just have you following a quest marker around mindlessly, never getting to work anything out for yourself.  Settlements that don’t make sense, npcs and villains that feel like goofy dumb jokes rather than communities of people, random respawning groups of the same handful of enemy types with no integration into the world - the game’s raiders have no motivations, outposts, or place in the world like those of New Vegas, they’re just enemy spawns to give you something to shoot.

The world just doesn’t work.  Like, I get it, corporations bad, I even agree in principle, but there’s no depth to it, just a surface level, cartoonish reiteration of the idea.  It doesn’t get at WHY corporations are bad.  In Outer Worlds they’re just bad because they’re dumb and incompetent and pointlessly cruel.  Nothing about systemic lack of accountability or profit motive.  The game even just shoves a couple arbitrary human villains in at the end so that you have a generic bad guy that you can kill to magically fix everything.

And the segregated design of the world - instead of one big wasteland like fallout games there’s a bunch of smaller regions you space ship between like a KotOR or Mass Effect game - means nothing you do in one area or quest line seems to meaningfully impact or even just tie into anything going on anywhere else.  There’s a faction system like New Vegas, but the factions feel pointless and paper thin.

The only ethical/story choices in the game are between factions, and there’s always a pretty obvious “right” answer.  Do you side with the company town full of innocent people, or do you side with the outsiders who just want to be free even if that freedom comes at the cost of an entire town of innocent people?  Or do you want take the obviously best option milquetoast moderate liberal “both sides” option where you easily resolve the differences between the two sides by getting rid of the one individual bad man who is actually to blame for whatever’s going wrong?  That exact situation is repeated twice.  Then do you want to side with the board who are literally killing everyone through wilful incompetence or do you want to side with everyone else because literally nobody actually likes or depends on the corporate board?  The choices presented to you are as cartoonish and reductive as anything you could point to in any of the Bethesda games that Obsidian fans like to complain about.

Some of the companions are ok, Parvati is endearing enough, and there’s a bit of biowaresque banter between them while walking about which I like, but their quest lines, like pretty much all quest lines in the game, are pretty short and largely perfunctory fetch quests, and once they’re done the companions have literally nothing left to say to you.  Just as you get close to them they stop being characters altogether, and are reduced down to ‘attack that enemy’ buttons.

The game play was... like bare minimum passable, and way way too easy.  As with the quest lines, the game play seems to be idiot-proofed at the expense of all challenge.  There’s a neat infiltration mechanic idea, but those segments are all but impossible to fail if you aren’t trying to do so.  Combat likewise was way too easy, at least for the default stealthy long gun character I typically make in these sorts of games.  Enemy AI is pretty bad and rubber banding is super noticeable.  There’s multiple difficulty levels, but hard mode didn’t fix the problem and ‘supernova’ mode comes with a bunch of obnoxious survival busywork, plus the companions can be perma-killed, and since their AI is as bad as the enemies that would lead to me never taking them out of the ship, which would mean missing out on the party banter which is one of the few bits I was enjoying in the game, so I didn’t even bother trying it.

Skill checks are present but almost always too easy to distinguish character build decisions, and even when they are, bypassing checks by other means is always so trivial that it’s not even worth the quick travel jump back to your ship to respec - which you can do at any time.  If there’s a hard lock pick blocking anything important then there’s always an alternative computer hack, or a nearby pass key, or a room with a couple enemies that can be easily stealthed past, or even more easily killed, or some other alternative path never more than a room away.  The only thing that seems to be blocked by actually hard checks are more loot, and this game throws so much loot and ammo and medpacks at you that missing out on some never matters.

None of that would be a huge problem if the game’s story and world had more depth.  The game play coasts by on the bare minimum, but for an rpg of this type that would be absolutely fine, if the story and quests and setting weren’t *also* coasting by on the bare minimum.  That ‘bare minimum’ bit is highlighted by the game’s overall length, which is really pretty short.  I did every side quest I came across naturally, collected all the companions and did their quests, and capped my character level before going to the final mission, but that still capped out at well under 20 hours of play time, and a lot of that was spent backtracking back and forth over the same few areas with the same copy and re-pasted respawning enemy groups.

The whole thing isn’t, like, actively bad, I’m coming across as too negative here.  Again, I mostly enjoyed my time while I was playing it, and the relative lack of these sorts of games on the Switch means I don’t feel like I wasted my money on this one.  I *did* play it all the way through instead of just losing interest a few hours in.  I’ll probably play it through once more at some point in the future, a no companions, supernova difficulty run maybe, and I’ll probably enjoy that well enough.  And I guess maybe that makes Outer Worlds look good compared to recent Bethesda efforts, which I’ve either avoided entirely (76, mobile garbage), or lost interest in and stopped playing a few hours in (4).  Maybe that explains some of the overwhelming praise of the game I remember from when it first came out.  But I wouldn’t say it’s even on par with slightly older Bethesda fare like Fallout 3 or Skyrim.  And to the extent that the game’s world structure and focus on companions calls to mind Bioware games like the original Dragon Age or Mass Effect, Outer Worlds falls notably short there as well.  Most painfully, when it comes to the core elements that made previous Obsidian games like New Vegas or KotOR2 great, Outer Worlds doesn’t even come close.  Hardly even seems to try.  And if you’re comparing Outer Worlds to those games instead of to Fallout 76, I don’t really see how you could see it as anything other than a disappointment.