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#it became a society about society's ills
wanderingmind867 · 23 days
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Batman's villians are better than him. And I think that either says something about batman, or it says something about my personal taste. You know what, it probably says something about both. I hate dark, edgy characters. So naturally the violent but dark and boring types like batman don't appeal to me while the more fun and entertaining villains like Joker or Riddler or Two-Face do have an appeal. But also, Batman just isn't as good from an objective standpoint.
Batman sometimes kills just as many as his enemies, but we give him the pass because he's the good guy. And i think that says something about our society. That we can forgive violent people like batman or the punisher because "they're heroes" while condemning people like The Hulk and Two-Face because they're "monsters, villains, etc". And sure, maybe I'm accidentally reading too much into this. But i think I have a valid point here. To forgive some people for violence but then condemn others in the same breath shows the hypocrisy of us all.
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spotsupstuff · 1 year
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i'm glad you enjoyed brandon F
little note about the uniform thing, the reason why he drags on a bit on that is cause he's a reenactor, 18th century uniforms are his insane obsession. he even jokes about it in the video i sent, saying "i'm finally back to my insufferable self!" when talking about the muskets
i don't blame him tbh, after watching his content for a while i had the realization that 18th century isn't like the romans, whose equipment we deduce through archeology, old sources and guess work.
like, the actual documents that standardized 18th century uniforms still exist and are not hard to access, i realized that after Brandon noted that his source was the fucking British Royal Library in London. ( i mean ffs there's literally photos of Napoleonic era vets heres a video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npSru7xEzX8)
and i honestly think its relevant, because if a million dollar historical production didn't want to put in the effort to go to a library and get the official documents. then what else they weren't bothered to get right?
but Brandon doesn't just do historical reviews he also talks a lot about the history in general. like, why fight in lines? what were marines in the 18th century? the history of tactics. and what role did cavalry play in line warfare? for example
heavens bless people of utube that manage to get hyperfixated on one topic for basically their entire life and then proceed to make stuff about it for us to watch, right? it's a delight to listen to someone who actually enjoys the subject and their subject therefore basically guarantees the authencity of what they put out
oooh but yes, the concept itself of what we actually get to know about things in what manner is fascinating in on itself. so since i was small i had been very fascinated by chinese mythology and mythology somewhat comes along with other parts of the culture and so on. and you know how the chinese culture is one of the oldest in the world?
as a result i've somewhat grown accustomed to the numbers that are typical to the span of chinese history and now whenever i go look into the history of my own country i'm actually stumped over how recently certain things happened! then again you wouldn't believe how oppressed or manipulated slovaks had been across history. ain't that right -glares at hungary-
to what extent we know which culture's history is so wild. the ability for certain historical things to simply last is absolutely incredible (such as military uniform documents or musical pieces of 18th century). fun fact! there's still messages written in stone by the soldiers of the roman empire on slovakia's territory. right near Danube, i think, p sure i visited that
thank fuck for reliable sourcing and also thank u for that vid that's gon come in handy for clothing references at Some point, i can feel it
and you are absolutely correct, yes! it Is relevant! as mister Brandon has said, there's of course a certain leeway allowed when it comes to more kid oriented stuff, but i'll admit! i was surprised to learn that serious historical productions apparently put less effort into these kind of things than the sea beast did (i don't usually watch those kind of things, i'm very fantasy/sci-fi and cartoon focused)
this kind of muddling of history that may seem "insignificant" to money grabbing bastards really screws up the perception of the eras for people who don't really have the time or the drive to look into things themselves. it's annoying
oh while we are on this history stuff, i saw this originally in utube shorts, but Apparently they are making a netflix movie or smth about Cleopatra and they made her black?? which is weird, considering that Cleopatra was greek and all that stuff. like don't get me wrong, yes give silenced/less known cultures like black folk more space to present themselves and who they are but like don't do it in a way that heavily skews the history? why are you going out of your way to create misinformation that could heavily impact understanding of history by taking out an already famous (not poc) person instead of Actually making the space for historically important black people. like maybe why not make a movie about that one super rich king from the southwestern coast of Africa (i think) that crashed the egyptian economy twice by being just too damn generous. that would be SO much more helpful to black peeps' history than shoving a black person into the place of a white one
i swear films nowadays either lack soul, heart, spine or brain like 98% of time
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Lately, I've been thinking about Mithrun and the ways he is dehumanized in canon.
Before I get started, we know that elven society is incredibly afraid of death and illness. This is obvious in how they look down on the short lived races and see them as weak and childlike. We also know that Mithrun himself had ableist views toward his brother and these values did not leave him once he, himself, became disabled. He is a product of the society that raised him, but I also think how Mithrun is currently being treated contributes to his view of himself.
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Mithrun has had three different caretaking groups over the years. The first are the ones his brother hired for him. From what we can see, they did the job, but we can understand that they did not know what to do with him. No one had ever recovered from having their desires eaten so the focus was less on rehabilitation and more on keeping him alive.
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Later we see Milsiril take an interest in him because of his desire to return to the dungeon. Since she did not bother to visit him for decades after finding him, we can assume that there is an ulterior motive here. Timeline-wise, this was when the majority of the canaries had just been wiped out. They needed more men, and Mithrun is set up to be the perfect single-focused soldier.
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Honestly, we can assume that Milsiril doesn't really care about him or see him as a person. Mithrun is just a new project for her to play with. We can see this in how she's focused on superficial level concerns like the fact that he doesn't look nice and wanting him to be overly grateful toward her. She also talks about him like he's not in the room and can't hear her. This is a dehumanizing trait shared by many characters when talking about Mithrun.
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When he finally does recover enough to return to the canaries, the military does not make any effort to accommodate his needs. We know the canaries are understaffed and the ethics are already bad, but they really did not even try to care about Mithrun's safety at all.
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Entrusting a criminal with his care was questionable at best, especially when Cithis immediately took the opportunity to abuse her power over him and no one stopped her.
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While acknowledging the light-hearted nature of the manga, it's uncomfortable that Mithrun was treated like a child and an animal by Cithis for her amusement. Regardless of her 'learning to respect him' later, the point is that Mithrun was taken advantage of and degraded because she believed he couldn't say no. No one bothered to do anything about this until Pattadol yelled at her.
Truly his treatment is summarized well by Milsiril here. Mithrun is extremely vulnerable to being abused by those taking care of him because he won't advocate for himself. He has one desire so he won't fight for himself in any other way.
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It is obvious that Mithrun was not treated well by his caretakers and this has resulted in him identifying his needs through a disconnected and frankly, infantilizing lens.
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I understand that it may have been a translator's decision, but I always thought it was interesting that Mithrun says that he's "not sleepy" which is a childish term. Otherwise, he speaks like everyone else, if not rather posh.
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This, followed by the fact that he is responsive to Kabru treating him like a literal infant to get him to eat, paints a clear picture of the fact that Mithrun is not unfamiliar with being treated like this. He responds to it because he's used to it and has no desire to argue with being treated this way. When we consider the fact that the chapter started with Milsiril treating an older child Kabru in the same way, it is likely that she also did the same thing to Mithrun when he was under her care.
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In these panels, we see that Mithrun does not believe that he can sleep without magical assistance, even though it is immediately refuted when Kabru takes the time to bundle him up and help him relax. Not only does he fully believe he can't sleep without external assistance, but he states directly that there is no point in him getting comfortable.
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As Kabru observes, Mithrun's inability to recognize his needs applies to needs such as hunger and exhaustion, but it obviously also applies to emotional needs. Kabru just wanting to feed him something delicious and not wanting him to give up on life is the most consideration someone has given Mithrun in years.
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The relationship they form over the course of a single week is enough to shape Mithrun's behaviour completely. Mithrun ignores Cithis's demand in favour of asking Kabru's opinion. It is Kabru's hand Mithrun takes to pull him out of his defeated state. It is Kabru Mithrun confessed his true desire to.
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Do you realize how depressing that is? All it took was the new perspectives from Kabru and Senshi to make him consider the fact that he should keep living despite no longer needing to fulfill his duty. Being treated well could have helped Mithrun much sooner and this shift in the way he sees himself contributes to his recovery going forward.
TLDR: Mithrun has no desire to be respected, but why does that make people feel comfortable acting like he doesn't deserve it? Someone not caring about being treated well doesn't give you permission to treat them poorly. This feels like a playschool-level consent lesson: just because he's not saying no to a humiliating or degrading act doesn't mean it's a yes and therefore okay to do. Acknowledging this is the bare minimum of treating him as a person.
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radish-club · 10 months
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Reading some of the old pulp sci-fi novels I picked up during my honeymoon and this stuff is great for sentences like
...a stroke with stiffened fingers he had learned years ago from a Chadorian nerve killer he met on Shimar in the Dragon Stars.
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annaandmiah · 7 months
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ED MEDIA
MOVIES
★ little miss perfect ★
an overambitious high school freshman tries to control her life by controlling her weight.
➜ watch on soap2day
★ starving in suburbia ★
17-year-old Hannah joins a dangerous “thinspiration” online community where users treat anorexia as a lifestyle rather than a disorder.
➜ Watch on Vimeo
★ sharing the secret ★
beth turns to binging and purging as a way to control one aspect of her life, but her habits quickly spiral out of control and force her to seek treatment.
➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/hmujb3ndoo0
★ for the love of nancy★
follows the main character as she starts college, becomes more and more withdrawn, starts a regimented exercise routine, stops eating, and begins losing an unhealthy amount of weight.
➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cgvxvq33swy
★ a secret between friends ★
when two teenage girls become fast friends and decide to diet together, things go from bad to worse, ultimately leading to the near death of one of the girls.
➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/vmf4cd1fxge
★ dying to dance ★
➜ a young woman succumbs to pressure at ballet school and develops anorexia nervosa.
➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/hi5ww4z-rx8
★ girl, interrupted★
based on writer susanna kaysen's account of her 18-month stay at a mental hospital in the late 1960s.
➜ Watch on Netflix
★ Kate's secret ★
a beautiful woman married to a successful lawyer and the perfect suburban mother who turns out to be a closeted bulimic.
➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/zpchtd3xw4q
★ the best little girl in the world ★
a young girl develops an eating disorder, alternately starving herself or throwing up food. her parents, angry and desperate, send her to a hospital. unfortunately, she befriends a patient who convinces her to hide her illness.
➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/oy7gj99pt_a
★ thirteen ★
an innocent seventh grader undergoes an abrupt personality change when she begins hanging out with a wild classmate
➜ Watch on Disney Plus
★ to the bone ★
ellen is an unruly 20-year-old anorexic girl who spent the better part of her teenage years being shepherded through various recovery programmes, only to find herself several pounds lighter every time.
➜ Watch on Netflix
TV SHOWS
★ Skins ★
 lives of a group of teenagers in Bristol, England, are followed through two years of sixth form, with the story line of this critically acclaimed series delving into such controversial subjects as substance abuse, sexuality, teenage pregnancy, personality and eating disorders, and mental illness
➜ Watch on Stan
★ Red band society ★
 a group of teenagers live together as patients at a hospital's pediatric ward and learn how to deal with their illnesses, the experiences that they have, and the people that they meet.
➜ Watch on Disney Plus
★ Insatiable ★
For years Patty was overweight, which caused her to be bullied, ignored and underestimated by the people around her. But she is now thin and seeking revenge against those who ever made her feel bad about herself through fat-shaming.
➜ Watch on Netflix
DOCUMENTRYS
★ Thin ★
this documentary follows four women receiving eating disorder treatment at the renfrew center in coconut creek, florida. while each woman has their own “final straw” that brought them to renfrew, they all suffer from eating disorders that profoundly affect their lives to the point of near-death, in some cases.
➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/gsqwhmesizq
★ Dana the 8-year-old anorexic ★
Little Dana became a walking skeleton after suffering from anorexia - at EIGHT. She told her distraught parents she would rather DIE than eat. And she even hid in a laundry basket at meal times to avoid having food.
➜ Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKSwPBUhCBo&list=PLfjwnsEd5VNYTtPpke17nY2AHRNNpcWIK&index=3
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pascaloverx · 4 months
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DANDELIONS
Summary: You are the new guest of the Bridgertons. Your mother, an old friend of Lady Violet Bridgerton, has requested that you spend a season at the Bridgerton house in hopes that you will change your perspective on true love and marriage. You are convinced that love is a fictional construct and that a marriage without love will be your downfall; but some time with the Bridgerton siblings might change your mind.
Author's Note: The characters belong to the Bridgerton universe and Julia Quinn. However, the story will have some changes from what happens in the Bridgerton series (2020-). Dear readers, this story may contain strong language and steamy romance scenes. It may even feature a love triangle. Be warned and enjoy the reading.
AO3 LINK TWO
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ONE
"A great idea," you grumbled the entire way from your house to the Bridgerton house. Your mother had told you it would be an excellent idea for you to venture into society. "An independent mission," she said. Your father is so ill and trapped in his own world that he didn't mind letting his only daughter go to a stranger's house. Your mother has given up on arranging a conventional marriage for you. She doesn't respect the fact that you don't want a marriage like hers. You wonder if it's so wrong to want a marriage filled with tenderness, passion, love, or any feeling other than indifference. You basically grew up knowing you were the product of an obligation. The only child your parents managed to conceive before your father became too ill to have more children. Or rather, before your mother gave up trying to love him. When you were born, at least she had shed the moral burden of having to provide your father with an heir. Obviously, both she and he had hoped you would be a boy. But you think that over the years they have grown accustomed to you. This year, for some reason, your mother wants you to get married. Perhaps it's because your father is on the brink of death. If you find a husband who can manage your father's properties and investments, maybe you will become something useful to your family. Your father only mutters about wanting a male grandchild to carry on his legacy, and your mother wants you married. After Lady Violet Bridgerton successfully married off her daughter Daphne, your mother began to think that perhaps she could help you. So, after exchanging a few letters, you are now on your way to the Bridgerton house to be introduced to society's marriage system.
"I need to step out of this carriage for a moment," you say as you stop murmuring your mother's words. Your companion gives you a look that says, "She's lost her mind," but you know she will eventually let you get out of the carriage.
"Actually, we are already in front of the Bridgerton house entrance. I must remind you that your mother recommended I stay by your side most of the time," Mrs. Lydia says, as if you didn't know that, as your companion, she is supposed to always be nearby.
"I know your job is to protect my honor, but believe me, if I enter the Bridgerton house in my current mood, they will expel me before midnight. I need a moment to think," you say, nervously adjusting the hem of your dress. Your companion gently nods as if she understands. Lydia is the closest thing to true family that you have. So it's no surprise that she understands you.
"Enter the house for a moment and be polite. There's a stable on the Bridgerton property; I'll see what I can do. Ask Lady Bridgerton or the Viscount Bridgerton if you can go for a ride. And try not to get into trouble. I'll pretend to accompany you but give you some time alone," Lydia says, and you hug her tightly. A good horse ride after meeting the Bridgertons is just what you need. Not that you know much about them. You can only imagine. They are several siblings, and you are an only child. It's not hard to imagine there will be some incompatibilities. Minutes later, you step out of the carriage with Lydia, observing several people standing around you two.
"Dear Miss Y/L/N, it's a pleasure to welcome you here. I must confess that when your mother informed me of your arrival, we all looked forward to it," Lady Violet Bridgerton says as she approaches you. She seems so friendly that you feel inclined to hug her.
"I would like to thank you, Lady Bridgerton, and your lovely family for your hospitality. Unfortunately, my mother couldn't come with me, but my companion Lydia is here," you say awkwardly. The truth is, you're feeling that this season at Aubrey Hall with all the Bridgertons might be more challenging than you imagine.
"Let's not waste time exchanging pleasantries and let's go inside so you can see your quarters. I believe it will be the perfect time for you to get to know my children better," she says as she guides you into the house. The place is spectacular. As soon as you enter, you see some people approaching.
"Miss Y/L/N, I must warn you that this family can be a bit lively, but we will try our best to welcome you with courtesy," says a girl who must be a little younger than you. She has a book in her hands and is the first to approach you as you enter.
"Eloise, don't scare off our guest. Welcome to our abode, Miss Y/L/N. My name is Colin Bridgerton, and if you need someone to talk to, I'll be available. But I know that after a journey, the best thing is a good night's rest," Colin says to you, who smiles, finding it amusing how many Bridgertons are showing up.
"I believe I should thank Miss Eloise for the warning and Mr. Bridgerton for his kindness. Although I believe I still have a long way to go until my restful moment," you say, looking at the two who seem pleased with your gratitude.
"Your dress is beautiful, Miss Y/L/N. By the way, unlike my older brothers, I know how to introduce myself. My name is Hyacinth Bridgerton." A girl who seemed not to be at the entrance of the house just moments ago suddenly appears, saying this as she walks quickly toward you.
"You're mistaking knowing how to introduce yourself with flattery, Hyacinth. I'm Gregory Bridgerton, but you can call me Gregory," says a young boy who appears to be almost the same age as Hyacinth, while the girl taps him on the shoulder. You find it cute and funny how they behave. Having siblings seems to be at least entertaining.
"The younger ones are so noisy. I wish you a pleasant stay with us, Miss Y/L/N. You'll need it. If you need some peace, just look for me. My name is Francesca," a young woman says kindly as she moves away from the confusion that this introduction session is becoming.
"Now that Miss Y/L/N has met most of the Bridgertons who reside in this house, how about having some tea in the garden of the property?" Lady Violet speaks gently, touching your arm. You nod in agreement.
"I would just like to go to the quarters where I will be staying for a change of clothing. I hope you understand, Lady Violet." You were already starting to feel pain in your back from the corset that was too tight on you.
"My dear, you can call me Violet, and you may go. I'll ask them to take you to the room where you'll be staying, and your companion will join you shortly to assist. Once you're done, I'll be in the garden waiting for you." Lady Bridgerton speaks, and you follow the servant she assigns to show you where you'll be staying. Knowing that Lydia will be with you shortly, as soon as you enter the room, you lock the door.
"What are you doing here, Miss?" A male voice speaks as soon as you lock the door, and you startle as you turn around to find a man, his shirt slightly unbuttoned, staring at you.
"I'm almost certain that I should be the one saying that, sir. I must warn you that if I were to scream, you'd be in trouble," you say, composing yourself as you observe the man looking at you curiously. Perhaps he knows that you wouldn't scream because it would ruin your reputation, or maybe he is part of the Bridgerton family, considering your mother warned you that there were three older adult brothers.
"Do you really want my family to know that I'm inappropriately dressed near you? Let me guess, you're desperate for a marriage and want to make your life easier by tying me to you?" The man speaks as he straightens up, buttoning the rest of his shirt.
"How dare you accuse me of such a strategy, considering that it is you who is in the quarters assigned to me, improperly dressed, and with an attitude worthy of pity. Honestly, my last thought at the moment would be to force a scandal so that you would have to become my husband," you reply, holding yourself near the door, keeping yourself away from whoever this Mr. Bridgerton is in front of you.
"Forgive me, Miss, but I don't trust a word coming out of your mouth at the moment. However, I assure you that this type of situation is not customary. I was trying to enter through the window of my room or one of my brothers' rooms, but I ended up in here. I had no idea that you would be arriving today. In fact, I'm being rude at this moment. I am Viscount Anthony Bridgerton," he says, approaching you cautiously as if analyzing you. Perhaps he is trying to figure out if you are an opportunist or not.
"Without intending to be rude, but already being so, whether you are a Viscount, Prince, or Duke, I don't care. What matters now is that no one finds out that we are alone here," you say, looking him squarely in the eyes, as if to firmly convey that you absolutely do not want them to be discovered.
"If you can draw the attention of the people in the house to yourself for a couple of minutes, I can leave the way I came in. Do you think that would be possible?" Anthony says with a certain petulance. However, a bold idea occurs to you. You give him a determined look and then step closer to him, bringing you both very near to each other.
"I'll simulate a small fall down the stairs. You'll have the time it takes for me to miraculously recover. Be efficient, Viscount Bridgerton," you say briefly and storm out of the room, aware that spending more time in the Viscount's presence would be a real test of your self-control. The room was starting to feel quite warm.
You descend the stairs, doing your best to appear slightly unsteady. You kick the last step with all your strength before reaching the bottom of the stairs and let out a loud groan of pain, loud enough to be heard from afar. You even manage to tear up a bit, waiting for everyone to come and check on you. Just as you are lightly sprawled on the floor, a man walks through the door. You don't remember being introduced to him before, but he is certainly a Bridgerton. He sees you and immediately rushes towards you.
"Miss, are you alright? Can I help you up?" The man asks with a concerned and caring expression. Knowing that Anthony needs more time, you let out a cry of complaint as if in fake pain when the Bridgerton in front of you tries to help you up. At that moment, you start to be surrounded by several people.
"Oh, I think I twisted my ankle, but there's no need to worry. I just need a moment," you say, uncertain if you can keep up the pretense much longer.
"My dear, don't strain yourself. Benedict will help you to a room where we can call for Dr. Lewis to examine you," Lady Violet Bridgerton says as she lightly touches the arm of who you presume to be Benedict.
"May I?" Benedict asks seconds before you nod your head in agreement. But to be honest, you're not even sure what you're agreeing to. Until Benedict lifts you, asking you to put your arms around his neck. You hold on tight to him, somewhat afraid he might drop you.
"Mr. Bridgerton, you are very kind. I believe you didn't need to lift me. But I am grateful for your help," you say as you are leaned close to Benedict's chest, which you now notice is slightly exposed. What's with the Bridgertons today that everyone is showing more than they should?
"I must admit, before my family enters here, that it was amusing to take part in your charade. It was quite artistic of you. I hope you'll call on me if you want to star in another theatrical piece to get my brother out of trouble. Have a good afternoon, Miss Y/L/N," he says all this as he gently releases you onto a sofa. He doesn't seem angry or anything like that; genuinely, he seems to be enjoying himself. As soon as he leaves the room where he left you, the rest of the Bridgerton family and some servants surround you. Now you'll have to pretend to be in pain for a little while longer while you're intrigued not only by one but by two Bridgerton brothers.
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yourlocaljonghoe · 1 month
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Dear Officer. || Bang Chan.
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Summary: who would've thought that the man upholding justice himself secretly likes being handcuffed just like the criminals he catches everyday...
Pairing: police officer!bang chan x secretary!reader
Genre: smut (mdni)
Wordcount: 3.7k
Warnings: porn with very little plot, dom!reader x sub!chan, handcuffed chan, piv, unprotected sex (don't do that fellas), teasing, soft ending
A/N: is this my skz debut?! yes, yes it is. idk if ill ever post more of them tbh, i do have a few more ideas but am still a bit hesitant, but i wrote this impulsively at 4am after fantasizing about police officer chan for weeks so here it is lol. enjoy and maybe we'll see each other again in the future stays🤭 biggest thank you to @ja3hwa for beta reading this, ily🥺 & as always divider credits to @firefly-graphics!
Taglist: @ghstzzn, @kyukyustar, @hwapetals, @foxinnie8, @preciouswoozi, @aussiekpopginger, @kitten4sannie, @hanjisungs-bigtittyg0thgf
Available here on Ao3.
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You loved working as a secretary at your town's police department. While you, of course, weren't directly involved in keeping the peace and catching criminals, it still felt like your work was a good deed to society. 
And, maybe, there was another reason as well.
Maybe.
You glanced up, scanning the bustling room, and there he was - Officer Bang. His uniform hugged his broad shoulders perfectly, and as he chatted with a colleague, that dimpled smile you couldn’t get enough of, made your heart skip a beat. You forced your gaze back to the screen, but your thoughts lingered on him.
What can you say? You were a simple woman, and this man may be another reason why you enjoyed your job here.
Every day, you caught yourself stealing glances, admiring the way he carried himself with such effortless confidence. He was kind to everyone, always lending a hand or offering a comforting word, but it was more than that. There was something about him - maybe it was the way his smile reached his eyes, or how his laugh sounded like a soothing melody - that made him this irresistible.
It had become routine, this quiet longing. You’d never dared to make a move, content with these innocent crushes that never seemed to go anywhere. 
A man like him, deeply respected by his colleagues and desired by many, would never be interested in you… right?
The day had dragged on, seemingly without ever wanting to end, but now the usual rhythm of the police department was slowing down as night fell. Most of the officers and other secretaries had already left, the station growing quieter with each passing hour. Unfortunately for you, you had to finish up some last-minute paperwork, and so, at almost midnight, you were the only one still in the building.
Or so you thought.
You stretched in your chair, glancing at the clock. It was late, and you considered calling it a night when a soft noise caught your attention. The sound came from down the hall, in the direction of Officer Bang's office. Curiosity tugged at you. He… hadn’t left yet?
You stood up, slowly moving towards the source of the sound. The closer you got, the louder and clearer it became - what you were hearing was a man's voice, letting out a low, throaty groan. You paused outside his door, your hand hovering over the handle, unsure of what to do next. The door was slightly ajar, and through the small crack, you could see him.
It was probably the prettiest thing you'd ever seen.
Chan was sitting at his desk, the room dimly lit by the small lamp on his desk. He was still in his uniform, but something was… different. 
His hands were cuffed together in front of him. 
The sight alone made your breath hitch, but what really took you by surprise was the state he was in. His head was thrown back, eyes closed, and his chest heaved with ragged breaths. You followed his gaze downward, your eyes widening as you noticed the strain in his pants, the hard outline of his erection clearly visible.
What the hell was going on, and why were you not running away from it?
You were completely frozen, every instinct telling you to turn around, to leave before you were caught, but your feet remained rooted to the spot. Your pulse quickened, heart thudding in your chest as you took in the scene. There was something raw and intoxicating about seeing him like this - so vulnerable, so unlike the composed and confident officer you and everyone else were used to.
He shifted slightly, another groan escaping his lips, and you felt a surge of heat rush through you. You shouldn't be watching this. Yet, you also couldn't look away. There was something about seeing him in those handcuffs - the very thing he used to capture countless criminals with - that sent a shiver down your spine. And then, almost as if sensing your presence, his eyes fluttered open, meeting yours through the crack in the door.
Time seemed to stop as your gazes locked. His eyes widened in surprise, but he didn't move, didn't say a single word. The room was completely silent, the air was thick with unspoken tension. You knew you should leave, but the way he was looking at you - with a mix of shock and something else, something darker - made it impossible to move.
Finally, he spoke, his voice low and rough, “What are you doing here?”
You swallowed hard, your mind scrambling for an answer, but all you could think about was the fact that you'd been caught - and how much you liked what you saw.
“I-I’m so, so sorry… I-I didn’t mean to-” Your voice faltered, catching in your throat as your eyes betrayed you, still lingering on the prominent bulge in his pants. You knew you shouldn’t be looking, but you couldn’t help it. 
The sight of him like this was overwhelming, and you gasped as you laid eyes on his crotch again. You couldn't even see him in his full glory, but holy fucking shit, what you saw made you clench your thighs, wetness pooling in between them.
Officer Christopher Bang had a long, thick cock, and it drove you insane.
Chan’s breath hitched, his gaze never leaving yours while you shamelessly ogled at him, and you saw something flicker in his eyes - desire. He shifted in his chair again, the movement making the handcuffs jingle softly, reminding you of the restraints that still bound his wrists. You swallowed hard, torn between your instincts to flee and the undeniable desire  to stay.
Your thoughts were full of him, and something else; your newfound need to dominate this man who was so helpless in front of you.
“You’re… not supposed to be here,” he said.
But instead of pulling away, you found yourself taking a tentative step closer. “I… I couldn’t help it,” you whispered, the words escaping before you could think them through. Your eyes flitted back up to his face, searching for any sign of discomfort, but all you saw was the same need and lust mirrored in his expression. The tension in the room crackled like electricity, drawing you closer until you were standing right in front of him.
His eyes darkened as they roamed over you, and you could feel the intensity of his gaze like a physical touch. “You shouldn’t be looking at me like that,” he murmured, but there was no conviction in his voice. His words hung in the air between you, a weak attempt to maintain control, but the way his breath quickened told you otherwise.
You were the one in control, and the man looking up at you knew that. And didn't seem to mind at all.
You hesitated for a second. But as your eyes dipped down to his lap, where his erection strained against the fabric of his pants, you lost your inner battle with your conscience. All you could think about was how badly you wanted to see him fully, to run your fingers along his length, to feel the weight of him in your hand…
To dominate the man who usually dominates everyone else.
“I-” you started hesitantly, but before you could finish, his handcuffed hands reached out, fingers curling gently around your wrist. The cool metal of the cuffs brushed against your skin, sending a shiver up your spine.
“If you stay,” Chan said, his voice low and husky, “there’s no going back. You have the chance to do everything you want to me now, or you can turn around and we pretend nothing ever happened.” 
His grip on your wrist tightened just enough to make your pulse race, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made it hard for you to breathe.
You knew what he was saying, and the weight of the decision hung heavy in the air. But the heat between you, the need that had been building ever since you first laid eyes on him, was too strong to ignore.
And as you slowly nodded, stepping even closer, you knew you were already lost.
Chan’s breath hitched, and you could see the way his pupils dilated, his dark eyes full of want and need. 
The sudden shift in power, the way your shy demeanour got more and more confident with each step you took, had him completely under your spell, and you revelled in the effect you were having on him.
“Such a big man with such a big cock, and yet he likes being dominated…” you mused, your voice dripping with teasing confidence. The smirk on your lips deepened as you ran a finger slowly down the length of his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath your touch. “I’m learning something new about you every day, Officer. And I definitely like it.”
He let out a low, shaky breath, his muscles tensing as you continued to toy with him. His hands, still bound by the cuffs, flexed helplessly in his lap, a reminder of just how vulnerable he was in this very moment. You could see how much he was enjoying it, with his eyes rolling back and his mouth agape.
“Do you like it?” you asked, your voice dropping to a whisper as you leaned in closer, your lips hovering just above his. “Do you like the idea of being dominated by someone who knows exactly what you want? Someone who can take control and make you beg for more?”
He swallowed hard, his breath coming in shallow pants now, and you could feel the tension radiating off him in waves. “Y-yes…” he finally murmured, “I like it. L-like it so much.”
His admission made you feel o’ so powerful, your smirk steadily growing as you brushed your lips against his, teasing him with a taste of what he wanted so badly. “Good,” you purred, your voice laced with satisfaction. “Because I’m just getting started.”
A quiet, pathetic whimper left his plump, delicious lips. 
“You want to touch me, Officer?” You taunted, your voice dripping with mocking sweetness. “Too bad. You can’t.” Your laughter echoed softly in the quiet room, a sound that sent a shiver down his spine. The power dynamic between you was intoxicating, something entirely new to you. 
And you absolutely loved it. 
Your control over this man was absolute.
His erection visibly strained against his pants, and you could feel it twitch as you shifted in his lap, rubbing yourself against him with deliberate thrusts. His breath came in ragged gasps, the sensation clearly overwhelming him. You watched him, his eyes glazed with lust, and you could see the frustration building in him, the desperation to touch you, to take control, to do anything but sit there, helpless.
You just laughed at his fruitless attempts.
“But I can,” you continued, your tone darkening as you leaned in closer, your lips brushing against the shell of his ear, biting down harshly. “And I won’t be kind.”
Before he could respond, you shifted your weight and, with a swift, calculated movement, drove your knee straight into his crotch. The impact was hard, sudden, and precise. A strangled gasp left his lips, his body jerking beneath you as pain and pleasure collided in his expression. His hips bucked involuntarily, the shock of the blow mixing with the overwhelming arousal that had been building between the two of you.
Chan’s head fell back against the chair, a low groan escaping his lips as he tried to regain control of his breathing. His eyes were half-lidded, a mix of pain and raw desire flickering in them. The way he looked at you, even through the discomfort, was almost worshipful - completely at your mercy and loving every second of it, just like you.
“You like that, don’t you?” You whispered, your voice tinged with satisfaction as you watched him struggle to process the sensations. “Being completely helpless, unable to do anything but take what I give you… I bet you’ve never been treated like this before, have you, Officer?”
Chan shook his head, his breath coming in shallow, ragged gasps. “N-no,” he managed to rasp, his voice hoarse but laced with a dark, eager hunger. The way he looked at you, eyes filled with nothing but sheer, desperate desire, only fueled the fire within you.
“Good,” you said, leaning in to press a searing kiss to his lips, feeling his body tremble beneath you. “Because this is only the beginning.”
Your kiss deepened, and you relished in the sensation of his soft lips against yours, his low moans vibrating through you. As your hands trailed down his body, finding their way under his uniform, you could feel the heat radiating off his skin and his muscles tensing beneath your touch. The power you had over him was driving you wild, and you yearned for him to finally be inside you.
As you continued to tease him, your fingers eventually found the buckle of his belt. With deliberate and slow movements, you finally undid it, enjoying the way his breath hitched in anticipation. His eyes were fully locked onto yours, his pupils blown wide with desire, his lips slightly parted as he watched you with an intensity that made your pulse race and your pussy clench.
You unzipped his pants, feeling the heat of his erection through the fabric of his boxers. Your hand slipped inside, brushing against him, and he let out a strangled moan, his hips jerking involuntarily toward your touch.
“Please,” he whispered, all whiny and desperate. For you.
His voice sent a shiver down your spine. 
You did this to him. You made this strong, gorgeous man who could overpower you anytime he wanted if he weren't handcuffed right now this hard, this needy. 
What an incredible fucking feeling that was.
You gave him a teasing squeeze, eliciting another whimper from him, before finally pulling him free of his pants.
You couldn't help but admire him for a moment, your hand wrapped around his thick length, feeling the weight of him. He was everything you had imagined and more. And the way he looked at you, like you held the world in your hands, only made you want him more.
Without another word, you pulled your skirt up and your underwear to the side so that he had a direct view of your wetness, and then, slowly, you lowered yourself onto him, taking him inch by agonising inch. The sensation of his big cock filling you was overwhelming; your breath catching in your throat as you had to adjust to him for a moment. And then you began to move. 
His heavy balls were slapping against your ass as you bounced up and down, again and again, while Chan was completely helpless beneath you, his hands still cuffed, his body straining with the effort to stay still. His eyes never left yours, watching every movement, every little expression on your face, as you rode him like your life depended on it. 
For the first time in your entire sex life, you were the one setting the pace, slow and teasing at first, moaning as his pelvis teased your clit with each thrust. But as the pleasure built within you, your movements became more frantic, driven by a need that matched his own.
The tension that had been building between you both reached its peak, and with one final, shuddering thrust, you both came undone. White, sticky cum filled you, mixing with your own juices, and you moaned at the sensation. The world seemed to stand still entirely, leaving only the two of you tangled together in the aftermath of your release.
You collapsed against him, both of you breathing heavily, your heart still racing from the intensity of it all. Chan's hands were still cuffed, but he managed to brush his lips against your forehead in a gentle, tender gesture that made your heart swell with something warm and unfamiliar.
As the haze of passion began to fade, reality started to sink in, and you suddenly felt a rush of embarrassment.
What the hell had just possessed you?!
You slowly untangled yourself from him, avoiding his gaze as you reached for the key to his cuffs that were lying on the desk. Your hands trembled slightly as you unlocked them, the click of the metal echoing in the now-quiet room.
When Chan's hands were free, you fully expected him to do something, anything, to take back the control he'd lost. But instead, he remained still, his eyes soft and full of something you couldn't quite place. He reached out, gently cupping your cheek, his thumb brushing over your skin in a soothing motion.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice tender and filled with concern.
The question caught you off guard, and you felt your cheeks flush. "I… I'm so embarrassed," you said, hiding your face behind your hands.
Chan smiled, that dimpled smile you loved so, so much, but there was something different about it now. It was warm, reassuring, and entirely genuine. “You were amazing. There's no need to feel shy now,” he murmured, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your lips. “You have no idea how much I enjoyed that.”
His words made your heart skip a beat, and you felt a wave of relief wash over you. But still, you hid your face in his neck, in the hope he wouldn't look at you again. “I just… I’ve never done anything like that before. I didn't.. I didn't even know I could do that, or would want to do that,” you confessed.
He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close against his chest. “You don’t have to be embarrassed,” he whispered into your hair, his voice laced with affection. “I loved every second of it. You have nothing to be self-conscious about.”
Once again, you buried your face in his shoulder, feeling the warmth of his embrace soothe your nerves. His arms around you were comforting, his touch gentle, and for a moment, you allowed yourself to simply enjoy the feeling of being close to him.
Until he shifted slightly underneath you, and you hissed as his pants moved roughly against your centre.
“Shit, are you okay? Are you hurt?” He immediately asked, his doe eyes looking down at you, full of worry.
“Y-yeah, I'm fine. Just… a bit sore. I didn't really… prep myself for you,” you mumbled shyly.
Chan's features softened into a warm smile as he brushed a strand of hair away from your face, his hands gently caressing your back as he pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head. “I’m sorry, I should’ve been more careful,” he said, his voice full of genuine remorse. “You didn’t have to push yourself so hard.”
You shook your head, lifting your gaze to meet his. “No, no… I wanted to. Every bit of it. You were perfect. I just… didn’t expect you to be so… big.” You flushed again, feeling heat creep up your neck.
He chuckled softly, the sound reverberating through his chest, but his expression was still tender. “We could’ve taken it slower. I’m not going anywhere, you know. There’s no rush.”
The sincerity in his voice made your heart swell, and you found yourself relaxing in his arms. The initial embarrassment began to melt away, replaced by a comforting warmth. “I guess I got a little carried away,” you admitted with a small smile.
Chan’s eyes sparkled with affection as he leaned in, brushing his lips against yours in a gentle, lingering kiss. “I’m glad you did,” he whispered against your lips, his breath warm and sweet. 
“You… you've always been the one thing I couldn’t get out of my head, you know? I’ve been trying so hard to be professional, to keep my feelings in check, but you... you make it so difficult.”
The idea that he’d been harbouring feelings for you all this time, just like you had for him, was so surreal to you, but it made your heart flutter nonetheless. “You’re really saying you’ve been interested in me too?” you asked, your voice tinged with disbelief.
Chan chuckled softly, shaking his head in amusement. “Interested is an understatement. I’ve been crazy about you since the day you walked into this department.” His thumb brushed gently against your cheek, his eyes filled with a gentleness that made you squirm in his lap. “But I didn’t want to cross any boundaries or make you uncomfortable.”
“I had no idea,” you whispered, your heart swelling with warmth. “I’ve felt the same way, but I never thought you’d be… interested in someone like me.”
Chan’s eyes widened in surprise. “How could I not be? You’re amazing. You’re smart, kind, and... absolutely beautiful. I've wanted you for a long, long time, Y/N. Just… promise me one thing, okay?”
“What is it?”
“Next time, we’ll take our time. I'll take care of you and make sure you're fully ready to take me, okay? I want to savour every moment with you. I don't want you to be in any pain afterwards.”
The mention of a “next time” made your heart flutter, and you couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear. “I’d like that,” you whispered back, your voice soft and sincere. “I'd like that a lot.”
You felt his strong arms tighten around you, pulling you even closer, as he rested his chin on top of your head. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat was soothing, and you allowed yourself to fully relax in his embrace, closing your eyes and listening to his breathing. 
After a long, comforting silence, you were the one breaking the silence this time. 
“Hey… uhm. Can I ask a favour from you, Chan?”
He hummed. “Whatever you want.”
“Can you… take care of me, like… right now?”
He laughed, a loud and deep sound shaking his entire body, and you hit him playfully as your whole face lit up in embarrassment. 
“God, you're irresistible,” he said, a smirk adorning his handsome face as he kissed you softly. 
“And horny,” you added.
“And horny,” he repeated, swooping you up in his arms and gently spinning you around, “But don't worry. Officer Bang is here to take care of you.”
“You truly are the people's friend and helper,” you chuckled. He shook his head, still smiling at you with nothing but fondness. 
“Nah. Fuck the people. M’ just here to take care of you right now.” 
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heliza24 · 7 months
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I want to talk a little bit about Daniel in the Interview with the Vampire show, because the new trailer material has me stuck thinking about him, and also I’ve never written about how meaningful he is as disabled character to me before.
I don’t see many people thinking about show!Daniel in these terms, but he’s a canon disabled character. And I think the way he is written is just SO good. The acerbic wit, his relationship to doctors and his medication, his rueful acceptance of the way his disability has changed him. It is all so correct!! It’s really incredibly rare to have not only a disabled character written this well but specifically a chronically ill character written this well. His illness is always present; it doesn’t get forgotten about by the story. It gives Daniel insight into the vampires (more on this in a min), but it also gives Louis and Armand leverage over him. When Louis triggers his Parkinson’s symptoms? Deeply not ok. But that’s what made it such a great scene, and really made Louis feel dangerous and threateningin that moment. Armand and Louis arranging Daniel’s meds is a sign of great care and also great power over Daniel. It’s the perfect way to communicate the complicated power dynamic in their relationship.
I also just fucking love that this show takes place in 2022 and doesn’t erase the pandemic. Covid is a very present concern for Daniel and I cannot describe how validating that is for me as someone who is clinically vulnerable to Covid and who has had to really limit my life and take a lot of precautions because everyone else has decided to stop caring whether they pass on Covid or not. The fact that Daniel gets on a plane to Dubai is a BIG DEAL. He’s risking his life to talk to Louis and Armand before he’s even in the room with them. He really wants to be there. I have to make a similar calculation every time I travel, and trust me, getting on that plane knowing getting sick could spiral you into even worse health or kill you is really hard.
I think making Daniel disabled and including the pandemic is kind of a genius level decision on a thematic level. Of course Daniel is now facing down his mortality, which gives him a whole new lens on the vampires and the fact that he once asked them to turn him. And the pandemic further highlights his fragility, and is also possibly being used as a cover for drama that’s happening in the vampire world. But I think it also really sets Daniel up as a foil to Louis.
There’s a lot of analysis of the vampire chronicles that reads vampirism as a metaphor for queerness. But I would actually propose that it’s a much neater parallel for disability and illness in a lot of ways. So many of Louis’s initial experiences after being turned resonated with me, as someone who became chronically ill in my 20s. My appetite and relationship to food completely changed, much like Louis. My relationship with the outdoors and the sun changed, because of dysautonomia and allergy reasons. I was very mad, and very depressed, and I too have missed out on birthday parties and big life events like Louis did because I was too sick to go. Hell, you can even say that the way that Louis is treated as evil by his family, that the way vampires literally can’t be a part of society during the day, is reminiscent of ableist exclusion and ugly laws. (Ugly laws were laws that forbid disabled people, especially those with visible differences, from being out in public, and they were on the books in many American municipalities until the 1970s.) You can look at Lestat being an out and proud vampire in the first few episodes on the season and imploring Louis to leave his shame behind as a queer thing, but you can also view it as a disabled thing. Disabled people are portrayed as monstrous so often (and in a way that has gone relatively unexamined compared to say, the queer coded villain trope) that sometimes it’s just easier to embrace that label: I’m the monstrous Crip, but at least I’m not ashamed of or disgusted by who I am anymore.
I do think the real strength of this adaptation is that while you can find parallels between queerness or disability or other forms of marginalization with vampirism, ultimately it’s not a one-to-one parallel. It speaks to the real world but ultimately it is a gothic horror story about supernatural monsters. So I don’t mean to say that vampirism directly equals disability, because it does not. But I do think that making Daniel disabled was an intentional choice to help draw out some of those parallels, and I think the text is richer for it.
So Louis and Daniel have had these kind of parallel experiences of uncontrollable and difficult things happening to their bodies. It sets them up perfectly as foils, and even, I would argue, as the A plot and B Plot protagonists. This is one of my favorite ways of kind of examining the structure of a TV show (or maybe it’s that most of my favorite shows seem to be structured this way?). When TV was all episodic, it would be common to refer to the A plot (mystery of the week), B plot (interpersonal drama happening as the mystery gets solved) and C plot (any overarching plot tying the season together) in an episode. Now that stuff is serialized, there’s often a main protagonist, who has the main dramatic question and the most agency, and then there is often a secondary B plot that explores similar themes and mirrors the A plot, or presents a second main character who is the ldifferent side of the same coin” to the main protagonist. (My favorite example of this is Flint and Max in Black Sails, and I’ve also made the argument that Wilhelm and Sara fit this pattern in Young Royals.) In IwtV, Louis is obviously the main protagonist of the show, especially in the A Plot, which is the stuff taking place in New Orleans/Paris. But I would argue that Daniel is the protagonist of the B Plot set in Dubai. At the very least they’re intentionally set up as mirrors of each other:
They are both unreliable narrators, who are struggling with the way memory contorts (through memory erasure, illness, deliberate obfuscations, and just the passage of time). The most recent teaser trailer, where we hear Louis saying “I don’t remember that”, with panic in his voice, further underlined this similarity between Louis and Daniel to me. I don’t know if it means that Louis has also had his memory tampered with, as I’m assuming Daniel has, but I do think it means that Louis is going to be struggling with feeling out of control of his own narrative more in season 2, a thing that was already starting for Daniel in season 1.
They are also both locked into power struggles with people more powerful than they are. The fact that Louis is under Lestat in the flashbacks and above Daniel in the Dubai scenes in terms of power/status makes it all the more interesting. And, if we want to go ahead and assume that the Devils Minion’s years have happened in the past by the time we get to Dubai— it’s possible that both Daniel and Louis are united in being the less powerful partner in their own respective fucked up gothic romances.
They’re also both the audience’s entry point into their respective stories. Louis’s narration guides us into the world of vampires. Daniel’s questioning satisfies our human curiosity in Dubai.
I think one of the things that makes the show so special is the way that these two protagonists interact. In a lot of shows the a plot and the b plot stay pretty separate. I love talking about Black Sails for this because I think it’s such a good example; Flint and Max never exchange dialogue the entire show, even though they’re so clearly affecting each other the whole time. But the way that Louis and Daniel clash in Dubai is so exciting. We see them both wrestling for control of the narrative. It’s thrilling to watch and it just hammers home the theme of how complicated and changeable stories can be.
I am SO excited to see how the Dubai scenes play out in season 2 because of it. I really can’t wait. I’m really hoping we’ll see Daniel and Louis’s relationship evolve in surprising ways, and I’m holding my breath that we’ll get a lot of Armandaniel material to work with. (I have a whole other post drafted that’s much less smart than this one and is just me waxing poetic about Devil Minion’s theories which I may post at some point. You have been warned.)
I do have two wishes for Daniel in the new season, and they’re 1: that he gets to have romance/sex, because disabled (and older!) characters are so often seen as unworthy of being desired, and I would like to see that challenged and 2: that he continues to refuse to be turned/is not offered a vampiric cure for Parkinson’s. The magic cure for a disability or chronic illness is probably my least favorite disability trope, because it serves to erase disabled characters and representation from the narrative, and I want to see my experiences continue to be reflected in Daniel’s. That means that whatever ending Daniel’s story has will probably have at least a bit of tragedy baked into it, but I’m ok with that.
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starry-eyes-love · 3 months
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Lord of the Manor
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Main Masterlist     Joel Miller Masterlist
Pairing | Joel Miller x F!Reader- AU, no outbreak
Summary |  Joel Miller is Lord of the Manor, and you are the woman who has been helping him for years in raising his two daughters. Joel, holding a matchmaking party, decides to dance with every maiden in the room, everyone but you. After seeing him do this, you are exhausted and jealous, so you leave the party early. Joel notices your absence and follows you down the dimly lit hallway, where you confess your feelings for him. It ends with him telling you he wants you in his bed.
Word Count: 4.2 K
Warnings | 18+, Minors DNI, Smut
Language, M! (Handjob)- you walk in as Joel is pleasuring himself, kissing, sexual tension, slow burn, references to customs in society with Lord of the Manor, the lady (you) is common folk, a slight sprinkle of angst throughout (but it ends with a happy ending), kiss and reference to sex.
A/N: This started as a drabble, and then this happened. It got away from me, but that's ok. I’m thinking about continuing their story, but I can't decide. In the meantime, Enjoy!
Images by CAImages Dividers by @saradika-graphics
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Joel slowly backed you up against the wall, caging you against his body as his hands slowly roamed over your curves. He moved down your neck, softly kissing and nipping your sensitive flesh, enticing moans from your mouth. “Shhh, you got to be quiet, baby. I don't want anyone else to hear you. Those moans are just for me.”
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You hated parties ever since you were a little girl. Women always took hours dressing, fussing over whether a proper suitor would ask them for their hand at a dance. Meanwhile, on the dance night, men would stand and ogle over women as if they were prized cattle for auction. You had convinced yourself for the longest time that attending these parties would be a mistake, especially since you were never the one chosen for a dance. Yet here you were, fussing over your hair and makeup because Joel Miller, Lord of the Manor, extended you an invitation.
You weren’t like all the other maidens at the party, coming from rich fathers, lords that ruled over the lands.  You were a common folk woman, taken in by your father’s friend to be raised in a proper household after your parents died.  Your foster father felt guilty just abandoning you when you were young when his best friend died of a horrible fever that swept through your village and created a lot of orphans.  But that was what you were: an orphan, someone without living parents, and someone none of these men thought suitable as a wife or even for a simple dance.  
You thought that maybe things would be different with Joel Miller, especially since recent events, but as the night went on, you started to feel your hope dwindling. Like every other dance you attended, you found yourself stuck on the side of the dance floor. No man approached you or requested a dance from you all night, especially Joel.
Joel Miller was an eligible bachelor and a man of many talents.  He was older and a widower, his wife dying young while she gave birth to twins, both daughters, Ellie and Sara.  Joel, raising his girls on his own, had stepped away from the duties of the Kingdom to choose an ordinary life as a farmer for a while.  But two years ago, when his father became ill, he was called back to the kingdom to perform his duties as the only living heir to his father’s kingdom. 
Joel wasn’t like the other men here; he was older, a man in his later 30s, strong and capable.  Word had it that when he took a woman to bed, he focused on her pleasure instead of his own, something that was unheard of, especially in this day and age.  He treated women as equals and couldn’t stand when anyone did anything less. Most days, he was seen in the courtyard with his daughters, with light and playful banter going back and forth between them.  He cared, and everyone knew it.  He also hasn’t picked a suitable wife, which many had frowned on with him. But how can you force love?
You had gotten to know Joel over the last several years, being the woman who helped raise his daughters when duty called him back to his kingdom. You were always pleased to speak with him, and he always treated you with mutual respect and dignity, often unheard of in these parts of the world.  Over the past six months, Joel teased you, joked with you, and even looked at you like only a husband would look at his wife.  
At first, you were shocked to see Joel looking at you with stern eyes, drinking you in like you were his favorite meal. But when you accidentally walked into his bedroom, returning laundry, and found him sitting on his bed, stroking himself to obtain pleasure, you discovered that you were no longer the only one who was nervous.
“Oh, I am so sorry, Lord Miller. I didn’t know you were here,” you had said, shocked at the sight before you.  Joel was sitting at the edge of his bed, thrusting up into his hand, trying to pleasure himself in the most personal way.  His cock was thick and large, swollen with veins that ran down the underside of it.  His balls were plump and hung heavy below him, desperately needing to be drained. The sexual tension was thick in the air, especially when you glanced down and found Joel throbbing in his hand, probably seconds away from relief before you walked in.
Earlier, Joel was with you in the garden, and you teased him about his love for roses even though you knew he had planted them for you.  The light banter was fun back and forth, with somewhat of a charged sexual energy in the air.  You had suddenly injured yourself, cutting yourself on the thorns as you pulled weeds from the ground. Joel stepped up immediately and took your hand to examine the injury. When he determined that you were alright, he kissed your hand sweetly and told you to be more careful.  As Joel left, you noticed him re-adjusting himself in the front and disappearing in the Manor.  That was 15 minutes ago, and now you were face to face with a man who was moments away from his pleasure release.
As you stood there, you stared at Joel as he panted, holding himself on the brink of release. You didn’t know what you should do or how you should behave. It was obvious that you were the cause of some of his pent-up frustration. You wanted to put your mouth on it and feel it swell against your tongue, but such behavior was not deemed worthy by someone like you. But yet here you stood, looking at Joel panting, unable to look away.
Joel flared his nostrils, breathing deep as he twitched in his hand. It had been a long time since he had properly bedded a woman, and right now, he desperately wanted to fuck your cunt. You were the cause of this moment.  You had been teasing him all morning, and then you got hurt, and he helped you.  He barely could contain himself before he got in his room and ripped off his pants to start thrusting in his hand. Joel has wanted you for quite some time but has never voiced it.  But now, you were standing there looking at him with wide eyes, pupils dilated slightly from your arousal.  Joel knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help the statement when he heard you apologize again for what you saw. 
“Joel, I-”
“Baby, don’t apologize, please. Now, either get over here or shut the damn door when you leave.”  Joel didn’t mean to snap, but he was right on the edge, borderline of it being painful. Joel had already edged himself a few times and desperately needed to come. When Joel saw you momentarily hesitate, he stood up and approached you.  Feeling embarrassed, you immediately retreated and left, gently shutting the door behind you.  As soon as Joel touched himself again, he was coming all over his hand at the memory of you standing there looking at him with wide, lust-filled eyes.  That night, you made yourself come three times on your fingers alone, just at the thought of Joel’s cock inside of you.
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It had been a week since you walked in on Joel in his bedroom. At first, you tried to avoid Joel, but eventually, you couldn’t, especially when he requested you to bring him his supper in his room as he worked.
“Please forgive me, my lady, for the other day. I don’t know what came over me,” Joel had said, apologizing for his behavior as he glanced at the kingdom maps on his desk in his room.  
“It’s okay, Joel, I don’t mind,” was all you could respond. How can you tell him you’ve never come as hard as you did from seeing him? Within the week, everything was back to normal between you.
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Another week passed before Joel announced that he would host another dance again. Joel didn’t ask you to work the event this time; instead, he asked you to attend as one of his guests. You had agreed, hopeful that maybe this time he’d be the one to ask you for a dance.  
So, like all those times before, you had spent all day getting ready.  You had several lovely dresses in your wardrobe to choose from, all gifts from your foster parents. 
While growing up, you were required to attend dances as a guest, hoping that a suitor would eventually ask you to dance one day.  But as the years ticked by, more and more men stopped looking your way at these dances.  The biggest reason was because everyone knew you were adopted and were not of pure royal blood. Ordinary women, or common folk, were never allowed to marry those with money.  You knew Joel didn’t take societal customs seriously, so you were hopeful that tonight would be the night he’d ask for your hand at a dance.
But as the night went on, it appeared your dream wouldn’t come true.  You watched Joel dance with every other woman except for you.  To his defense, he never once walked up and asked for anyone's hand at a dance. All the women introduced to Joel were from the maiden’s brothers or fathers, hoping Joel would settle down and wed one of them. Being a true gentleman, Joel never argued with the men, and he always smiled at the women while extending his hand for just one dance.  But he never danced with you or even glanced at you once tonight. You were invincible to everyone, including the man you secretly had a crush on. 
You assumed you could just leave after seeing Joel escort another woman to the dance floor for another song. You slowly backed away, finally turning to go after a few steps. When you got to the hallway to head back to the sleeping quarters, you paused and hoped you'd find someone standing there asking you if you could have a dance. But when no one turned to look at you, you knew that tonight was a mistake. No one wants to dance with a commoner like me.
And that was what you were, a commoner, a woman men weren’t interested in because you had no royal blood.  It didn’t matter that your foster parents were of royal blood. You were still just ordinary folk. And ordinary folk do not get to dance with the Lord of the Manor, no matter who that person is.
As you walked down the dimly lit hallway, the soft murmur of the party downstairs slowly faded away into silence as the heaviness of your heart took root within you. You were dealing with a turmoil of emotions. Your heart ached with exhaustion and jealousy of the events from this evening and how everyone else appeared to have a good time. 
You wished you could have danced by yourself, but laws and customs forbid a woman to dance without a proper escort from a man. A woman also cannot go up to a man to ask for a dance, or else you would have asked Joel. The only people who could request a man to dance were other men extending the hand of their daughter or sister, and you didn't have anyone like that around for you anymore. You, indeed, were all alone in this world.
You were about halfway down the hallway when you stopped to lean against the cool wall, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. The air was heavy this time of year with the scent of roses from the garden. Usually, the smell would calm you and remove any heartache you'd have. But not tonight. It felt almost suffocating tonight as it reminded you of what you couldn’t have, Joel.  
When Joel heard that roses were your favorite flower, he ordered his gardener to plant different colors and species around the entire manor. Usually, the gardens would wipe away your tears when you felt lonely, but tonight, they were the cause of your heartache and tears, and because of this, you silently wept. You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t hear his approach. 
“Are you well, my lady?” Joel said softly, approaching you slowly in the dimly lit hallway. Your head was in your hands, and your eyes were wet from your tears. When you lifted your head to look at Joel, he took in your face and immediately felt concerned for your appearance.
"Why are you crying, my lady? Did someone hurt you?" Joel asked, his voice gentle yet firm.  He wanted to know who had upset you, and if he found out that another man had placed his hands wrongly on you, Joel knew he would end that man’s life himself.
You lifted your head higher to face Joel. Your emotions won over to reason in answering him appropriately. "Do you need to ask, do you not know?" Your voice trembled, frustration spilling out before you could stop it. 
"I’ve watched you all night, Joel. You were smiling, laughing, and entertaining every suitable maiden who batted an eyelash at you. Do I need to remind you of our customs and what a Lord must do, especially when choosing a bride?”
“I did my duty as Lord of this Manor. I danced with every woman attending tonight.” Joel spoke, confused as to why you would ask him your question.
“Really? Do you honestly enjoy treating me like this?”
Joel’s eyes widened, surprise mixed with his frustration flashing across his face. “What in the hell are you talking about?"
"All night, Joel. All night, I’ve been a silent spectator to your affections. Do you even care?”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean? Do I care? What the- I’ve danced with every available maiden tonight from God's know where. I’ve done my duty.  Who gives you the right to criticize me for my actions when I’ve done nothing wrong, especially when I am Lord of this Manor.”
"But you did!" you interrupt, frustration boiling over. "I was standing there all night.”
“Tell me, woman, to whom did I neglect my duties? Tell me. I’ve danced with every woman in that hall, every woman who is worthy of a man like me, Lord of the Manor.” Joel shouts at you, not understanding why he is entertaining this argument. 
Joel Miller was always someone who spoke with reason and with knowing the purpose of the discussion.  But right now, Joel had no idea of the purpose of your anger or frustration nor where this argument stemmed from.  Somehow, this argument felt very personal, even though it shouldn’t have.  Joel was the Lord of the Manor, and he demanded respect.  It puzzled him why he seemed to tolerate this disrespectful behavior from someone who wasn’t even his wife.  A woman should never raise her voice to a man. The only time she could, if she could, would be when she was talking to her children or husband, and you were neither of those. 
“And what am I, Joel, huh? What am I?”
“You’re a woman,” Joel shouted and then froze, finally realizing his mistake.  He danced with every woman attending that was available, everyone but you.  You weren’t there tonight as a working woman.  You wore a beautiful dress with your hair pinned up properly instead of down off your shoulders, and your makeup was neat and stunningly beautiful.  You weren’t wearing your working ensemble, meaning you were a guest at his party.  A guest that he gave a formal invitation to, no less than three weeks prior.
“Do you even know how I feel about you? Do you even see me?” Your voice was trembling with the weight of your confession. "I've felt it for so long, me and you, wanting you to properly see me as the one you could be happy with, a wife. Do you even know how much I love you?"
Silence stretched between you both, lacing the air thick and heavy with it. For a moment, admitting your feelings for Joel felt freeing. But as the silence continued, your heart immediately sank. You realized that maybe Joel didn’t reciprocate those feelings. 
When you glanced up at Joel to look at his face, you noticed that he had a stone-cold look in his eyes. Joel wasn’t saying anything, nostrils flaring, as he ran a hand over his face while taking a step back and exhaling.  When he placed his hands on his hips and shook his head while glancing at the floor, you felt embarrassed at what you had just done. Even though Joel was friendly to you in private, constantly teasing and flirting with you, you were still the help and common folk. And that was something that no man could ever see past.
You momentarily reached for Joel to comfort him, but as you did, you saw that he had taken a step backward, away from you. Your hand froze in mid-air, and you quickly placed it at your side. As the silence continued, you felt your cheeks flush with embarrassment. 
“Please forgive me, my Lord. I don’t know what came over me tonight for speaking in such a raised voice.”
“And for voicing such inappropriate things to the Lord of the Manor,” Joel said, still not looking up at you.
“Of course, my Lord. Please forgive my words-”
“And your mouth,” Joel mumbled under his breath yet again.
“Yes, of course, my Lord. Please forgive my words and my mouth for speaking out of turn. I don’t know what came over me.”
Then, Joel looked at you and said in a commanding voice, “Make sure you never speak to me like that ever again. I am the Lord of the Manor, and you better remember that before you stand there in my house and accuse me of things you have no right to say. To disrespect me when I’ve never once disrespected you.”
Joel went to step towards you, anger seething in his mind, but as he did, he saw you flinch and take a step back. You were shaking, closing your eyes while saying quickly, “My apologies, my Lord, it won’t happen again. Please, no lesson is required for me to remember this. I’ll- I won’t open my mouth again, please.”
Joel froze mid-stride. What were you talking about? Slowly, Joel touched your chin, tilting it toward his face, giving you the soft but firm command to open your eyes and look at him.  When your eyes finally met his eyes, he saw your fear of being struck by a man. That was something that Joel Miller, Lord of the Manor, never did. Who has hit this woman for just opening her mouth?  
Joel has never once laid a hand on any woman who has worked for him, been related to him, or been in his bed. It truly upset Joel that you have not received the same respect in return. That someone has delivered punishment and force when dealing with you. Joel became angry at thinking someone would strike such a beautiful soul.
As Joel studied you, you felt your cheeks heat in embarrassment. It was one thing for him to glance at you and another to study you so intently, as you wore your emotions on your sleeve.  You glanced down at the floor, submitting to the man before you. Whatever his choice of punishment was going to be, you knew better than to look him straight in the eye.
“Baby, please, look at me,” Joel whispered, gently cupping your cheek.  When you finally glanced back at him, he softly smiled at you. 
“Darlin’, no lesson is required, and for the record, I will never hit you. I- fuck,” Joel whispered, running his thumb over your cheek gently. You were looking at him with such gentle, soft eyes. You wanted him to close the distance and to kiss you, to see you in front of him as the choice of a life and not just someone of hire. 
"Is what you said earlier true? That you love me, baby.” Joel spoke with a soft but steady voice. 
"Yes," you whispered, your throat feeling tight with emotion as another tear slid down your cheek.
It only took two seconds before Joel’s thumb swiped the tear away. He looked at you with such tenderness that it took your breath away. "I had no idea, baby," he murmured before his thumb brushed away another stray tear. "I’ve been a fool, and I’m sorry."
You shook your head, tears welling up in your eyes at the tenderness he was showing you. "Joel, I—I’ve always seen you, and I'm sorry."
“Shhh, baby, it’s ok,” Joel whispered as he slowly leaned in, giving you ample time to pull away. But you didn't pull away. Instead, you tilted your head up, your heart pounding as Joel’s lips brushed yours in a tentative, gentle kiss. It was a kiss of unspoken emotions, long-suppressed desires, and a future that suddenly seemed possible.
When Joel finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, breath mingling with yours. "I love you too," Joel said softly, his voice filled with hunger and desire. It was in that moment of his confession that you relaxed. When Joel’s lips met yours again, he gave you a hungry kiss.  Joel licked into your mouth, tilting your head back as he finally claimed your lips the way he did the last time he kissed his wife. Joel had made up his mind; you were the woman for him. He didn't know how it would work with societal customs, but that was not his concern tonight. Tonight, he wanted you in his bed, underneath his body, as he made love to you.
Joel's kisses were full of lust and passion, full of emotion for denying you for so long. And you met him with equal hunger back, wrestling your tongue against his, telling him what you were feeling through actions.
Joel slowly backed you up against the wall, caging you against his body as his hands slowly roamed over your curves. He moved down your neck, softly kissing and nipping your sensitive flesh, enticing moans from your mouth.
“Shhh, you got to be quiet, baby. I don't want anyone else to hear you. Those moans are just for me.” Joel whispered as he slowly trailed his tongue up your throat, softly kissing and nipping your neck. 
“Please, my Lord. I can't; it feels too good.” You mumbled as you let out another soft moan. 
Joel growled at your admission, his cock impossibly hard against his pants. It's been a long time since he's had this much of a reaction to a woman who was fully clothed. He needed you underneath him, in his bed right now, but he was trying to be a gentleman.
Joel gave you a few more passionate kisses with his mouth, and when you whimpered against him again, he felt his resolve crumbling.
“My lady,” Joel whispered as he rested his forehead against yours, “you will be the death of me and my gentleman ways if we don't stop.”
Then, Joel took a step back, placing some distance between you both for a moment to clear his head. You straightened yourself, flattening the slightly rumpled dress. 
“My apologies, my Lord, I-”
Joel raised his hand, silencing you from continuing. After another moment of silence, he took a long breath before continuing. “I am a man of honor, and I will not disgrace the honor of a woman in the hallway of my manor by engaging in inappropriate actions that only a man and a woman married should do. But, if I could be so bold as to say, my lady-” 
Joel then slowly reapproached you, gently cupping your cheek as he gave you a tender kiss to your pulse point while whispering, “I want to fuck you in my bed later if you have me.”
As Joel slowly pulled back, he gave you a smirk. He noticed your cheeks were flushed a lovely rosy shade, which was both a combination of arousal and embarrassment at his bold statement. He also wondered if your cunt was dripping wet from the combination of his kisses, language, and the sheer presence of him being around you. 
“But first, my lady, I would like to court you properly. I do not intend to shame your name based on mere animal instinct. But I do intend to bed you properly when the time comes if you'll have me.”
“Yes, my Lord, whatever pleases you,” you whispered, trying to get your heart rate under control again.
“You please me, my lady. Now come, let me escort you back to your bed chambers.”
Joel gave you a delicate kiss to your hand when he delivered you back to your bed chambers, telling you to dream of him. As you closed the door behind you, your heart raced in your chest; you couldn't believe the events that transpired for this evening.
Joel Miller was many things, both kind and gentle but also rough and forceful. You couldn't wait until the moment came when he'd take you in his bed properly. You also couldn't believe it, but you were falling harder for Joel Miller, Lord of the Manor, more each day.
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in case you haven't seen it yet, here's the menhera 101 article by HoshiCandy from Kei Club Issue 3. not sure if i'll post the other menhera related articles from this issue or not, so consider checking the link in source if you're interested.
i'm also leaving a text transcription under the cut for anyone that may benefit from that
Menhera 101
Menhera fashion has quickly been gaining popularity worldwide! This fast growth has come with its fair share of misunderstandings about the community and style. Menhera artist and designer HoshiCandy is here with a lesson on menhera’s origins, history, and basics. Find more of her work on the pages before and after this article!
What is Menhera? 
“Menhera” can be thought of as “a person who seeks mental wellbeing”. 
The word “Menhera” was born in Japan in 2001, on the “Mental Health” board of anonymous forum 2ch, where users discussed their wellbeing. The users of this board were named “Mental Healthers” which was shortened to “Menhera”. 
The Menhera community covers anything that might cause one mental suffering, such as: physical illness or disability, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, bullying, hyper-sexuality, sexism, homophobia, etc. Importantly, there is no need for a formal diagnosis, as the focus is on how you feel, and that you want to feel better. 
It is difficult to talk about these topics in Japanese society without being heavily stigmatized. Menhera is a community to speak safely without that stigma. Of course, this stigma and need for community when it comes to one’s mental wellbeing is not limited to Japan, and that is why menhera has grown in the west as well. 
Since the creation of the word in 2001, there have been several manga published with “Menhera” in the title, many Visual Kei songs about it, Menhera idol groups, and several menhera fashion brands. 
However, an unfortunate addition to all this has been the discovery of the word in mainstream media...
Just as the topic of illness is heavily stigmatized in Japanese society, the word “Menhera” itself became quickly stigmatized and stereotyped as “an attention seeking, troublesome person” or “an overly attached girlfriend” (aka “yandere”). If you were to speak to a Japanese person about “Menhera”, this would most likely be what they would think you meant. This stereotype tends to be referred to as “Menhera Kei” in Japanese which is why we avoid the use of “kei” for Menhera in particular. 
Despite all this, the true menhera community has continued to grow. 
Menhera Motifs
Artists in the Menhera community created many works of “Vent Art” art that expresses their feelings and suffering. When this art was printed onto clothing, Menhera fashion was born. 
These are some themes you will commonly see in Menhera: 
Medication
Suicide 
Self-harm 
Hospitals
Sex and BDSM
Social Media Addiction
Heartbreak 
Wearing Menhera art printed on clothing serves as a way of literally wearing one’s feelings on one’s sleeves. It turns invisible suffering visible, and fights against the stigma driven silence. This means that Menhera fashion is highly confrontational, with graphic depictions of illness symptoms. Although the onlooker may feel discomfort, the Menhera style says “this is my true reality, don’t pretend it doesn’t exist!”
Depending on the feelings of the wearer, Menhera fashion also says “although I am sick, I can still be ‘kawaii’” or “although I appear ‘kawaii’, on the inside I am suffering”. 
Turning the invisible visible, forcing the silence to be broken, and challenging kawaii culture, these are the goals of Menhera fashion.
The Menhera Silhouette
Carefully avoiding a highly theatrical or OTT (over-the-top) look is important for maintaining the integrity of the goals of menhera. Menhera is a very casual style, with few accessories and light makeup. The key is for a coord to centre on Menhera imagery, whether vent art or text-focused designs, printed onto clothing. 
Be careful not to dress up as the characters depicted in vent art, who are often costumey, gory, and OTT. 
Menhera Coord checklist: 
Printed Menhera art
Byojaku/Minimal makeup
Not OTT/Few accessories
Flat Shoes 
[optional] Oversized top
[optional] Hime bangs 
[optional] twintails
Colors can vary: a pastel yume look, or a gothic yami look, both are fine!
The makeup style is called “Byojaku” meaning “sickly/weak”. Reddish colors are applied to areas around the eyes to give the impression of crying or illness. The rest of the face is kept plain without much color. 
A Note of Caution
The Menhera community is about healing, and seeking recovery and wellbeing. It advocates getting help, medication, therapy, and receiving support through your recovery journey. 
True Menhera never encourages or enables harmful behaviors, and never glorifies them. Menhera fashion is an alternative way of expressing your suffering without self-harm. Menhera fashion empowers the individual through their recovery, but does not empower harmful behaviors. 
There are some, sometimes labeled by the community as “Wannabe Menhera”, who mistook the meaning of “menhera” after seeing its rise in popularity, as it being trendy to fake mental illness. They engage in behaviors such as posting self-harm photos (real or faked) to social media with the tag #menhera, and other attention-seeking behaviors. 
While this is the opposite of what the Menhera community stands for, is harmful to the unfortunate viewers of these photos, and creates further stigma against the community...it cannot be ignored that these “Wannabe Menhera”, too, need help and healing. 
The Menhera fashion movement is to help you feel comfortable, unashamed, and kawaii in your skin, scars and all. It is NOT for encouraging people to create new scars “for the aesthetic”. 
If you are struggling with mental or physical suffering, thoughts, or behaviors that cause harm to yourself or others, please seek help. If you do not believe you deserve help, you do, please seek help. If you believe you are faking it, you likely are not, your feelings are valid, please seek help.
Don’t have access to therapy? 
We found a comprehensive list of suicide prevention hotlines at https://ibpf.org/resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines [link no longer working]
There are also free and affordable counseling services online like Better Help and Pride Counseling! Look online to find what option could work for you! 
Alternatives to Menhera
After reading all this you may be thinking “the Menhera community sounds good but all the fashion is too restrictive for me” and if so, you’re not alone! But the good news is that you don’t have to wear Menhera fashion to be in the Menhera community. 
Look up any of these alternative styles online for examples and more information:
Yamikawaii (“Sickly-cute”) is essentially the aesthetic of Menhera without the activism, a corrupted dark kawaii. Unfortunately the word was trademarked and now suffers from copyright takedowns. 
Yumekawaii (“Dreamy-cute”) an aesthetic evolved from Fairy kei to describe everything pastel and kawaii, but with a slight edge, described as “fairytales with poison”. 
Marekawaii (“Nightmare-cute”) created as an alternative to Yamikawaii to avoid the copyright issues, and as a counterpart to Yumekawaii. Marekawaii is specifically defined as being open to your own interpretation and style. 
Medikawaii (“Medical-cute”) a pastel kawaii aesthetic focusing only on medical motifs, such as medicine and hospitals. 
Gurokawaii (“Grotesque-cute”) mixes frightening and disturbing imagery with kawaii. Kyary Pamyu Pamyu helped popularize it. 
Iryouu Kei (“Medical Kei”) a Visual Kei substyle with lots of gore and hospital theming, very OTT and theatrical, such as dressing like a nightmare nurse. 
Living Doll artists see themselves and their bodies as a canvas to create art and express themselves, often with intricate makeup and body painting. This is a good one to look at if you’re into heavy artistic makeup.
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Glamour Witch 🕯
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A guide to confidence, beauty, & self love 🪞🩰🦢🍒💌
How I made glamour magick efficient for me and why working with the goddess Aphrodite shifted my self concept + help me connect to the divine feminine 🕊
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First let's do a back story on my relationship with my matron 🌸:
My spiritual awakening happened when I was 17 years old after experiencing the loss of a loved one and coping with past trauma. I went into my adolescence with fear, agony, and poor self esteem. I was very much so a tomboy as a teenager (to this day I still have masculine qualities that I am now proud of and balanced it with my feminine side) but I was so out of touch with what being a "girl" was. I felt really self conscious about not being "woman" enough and had a complicated view on my gender (since I realized I was nonbinary at 14). I became interested in the occult since I grew up in a spiritual household (crystals, manifestation, etc) but never really got to engage with things like tarot or witchcraft because it was considered taboo. I had a reading done one day and I was told that Aphrodite wanted to work with me as my deity. My teenage self was confused by this because I thought - "The goddess of beauty and love wanted to work with me? Well that can't be right." I was expecting something more dark or cool like Hades or Hermes or whatever because that was just my personal style since I dressed very alternatively. I was nervous, but also intrigued. As I begun to pray to her and started doing spellwork - I felt safe, I felt loved, it was like a mother watching over me. I started learning how to do makeup for my ethnic features and became more educated about fashion and what it means to really be a true feminist. I learned to say fuck the binary system and made my own definition of not what just being a "woman" is but also what being "feminine" meant to me, period. You can be whatever you want to be and be beautiful regardless of what your appearance is like. Some days I want to wear snapbacks and sneakers, other times I wanna wear high heels with a flattering dress. I do what makes me feel comfortable and that's nobody's business but mine. Society made us believe that being sensitive, caring, or intuitive - the traits of the divine feminine (which we have in us all) as bad when it's not. There's strength in being soft and delicate. Be gentle towards yourself, my loves.
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Embrace your shadow self to manifest your dream life ✨️:
You know what people will never tell you or admit to you on social media? Is that you can be self conscious and still be confident at the same time. Confidence is just being comfortable with yourself and knowing despite what you've been through or are feeling in the moment, it should not hold you back from achieving your fullest potential. Like Megan Thee Stallion said "Bad bitches have bad days too" And it's true! I have my good days and then I have my bad days, but even when I'm doubting or losing my faith, I always get back up by keep going. Why? It's because if I stop then I'm not living. I'm not being grateful for the life I still have while there are people out there battling severe illnesses and don't have much time left. Nobody wants to be candid and only want to portray themselves as perfect, when nobody is. It's a damaging narrative to think you have to be popping on social media and always staying positive. I don't know why being vulnerable is such a stigma these days. Everyone is scared of being hurt, sure, but there is so much power in knowing what you makes you happy and being able to voice what your wants/needs are. You get to live for yourself and not what others want you to be. Not to mention the importance of having the power and ability to set the boundaries your inner child probably never got to have?! I'm so tired of people spreading the belief of that you shouldn't talk about mental health, trauma, or personal fears because it makes you seem "weak" or "easy prey". That is the same tactics abusers use to make their victims stay hushed and makes them not able to stand up for themselves. That way of thinking is victim blaming! If you as a person, feel brave enough to discuss what the fuck is going on in your mind that does not make you a weakling, that makes you strong as hell. They are the weak ones for taking advantage of people who were already suffering. It's time to forgive yourself for your past mistakes and acknowledge what happened, but do not let it control you. You don't have to let go or get over it, it's okay if it's still a wound for you but you can choose to make it better by creating a better future by working with your higher self. Think about who you want to be, how you want to appear, what career you aspire to have, etc. Either write it down, visualize, or make a vision board. Release the old version of you and thank them for helping you survive.
I have been reading the book Mirror Work by Louise Hay and it entails about how the negative things people said or the difficult experiences we had dealt with in our lifetime gets stored in our subconscious mind. When we make jokes that are self depreciating or engage in self degrading behavior, it harms us even more, preventing us from maturing or loving ourselves. Doing shadow work is uncomfortable for everyone but it is a must to process the patterns in your life and learn as to why you become the person you are today. Being aware of your triggers and what makes you tick. Can make you more emotionally intelligent and be able to have a healthier conversation as well as creating lasting positive connections.
Books I recommend for subconscious reprogramming, shadow work, & healing from trauma:
Mirror Work by Louise Hay
"The Courage to" book series by Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga
Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
The Self Confidence Workbook by Barbara Markway & Celia Ampel
Psychology of The Unconscious by Dr. Carl Jung
It Didn't Start With You by Mark Wolynn
You can also find shadow work prompts on pinterest.
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Don't just say it, do it! 11 ways to actually practice self care:
Making a goal and actually putting the effort in can be tough for some individuals, especially for those diagnosed with depression. That's why it's important to be patient with yourself and understand that healing is a journey, not a race! A youtuber I have been enjoying and watching lately is the critically acclaimed, thewizardliz: An Iranian woman who gives advice on confidence, discipline, and more! A video that I watched of hers recently was called and bluntly titled: "How to stop being lazy & pathetic". In most of liz's videos she is someone who is tough but is also tender. She explains that when we are procrastinating it's because we are thinking of just the end goal, which scares us and makes us overthink about what to do or how to do it. When really, we can just take small, simple steps at a time to reach towards what we wish to accomplish, so that way it will feel less intimidating. If you have a essay that's due for example, try to write a few sentences each day, or think about how good it would feel if you were to get a good grade on your paper. Think of it this way - Would you rather slack and be upset you failed? Or would you rather prevent that from happening so you can be proud of what you achieved? Figure out what motivates you as a person and write it down so you can always be reminded of the confident being you wish to become.
Journaling: This is such a crucial hobby that I believe everyone should have. Writing down your thoughts or feelings helps not only increases your intelligence and brain health, but it also helps navigate your feelings better when you are facing a problem. You are able to reflect inward and discover the different parts of your psyche that you never knew you had.
Art: Divine feminine energy embodies the source of creation and life. The same way people with wombs give birth to children, an artist's project can be their beautiful baby. Find what type of art form brings you peace and allows you to express yourself (poetry, songwriting, dancing, painting, woodcarving, etc).
Exercise: I know this is something that some people struggle with (me included 💀) and when people hear that it's like "Ugh, I don't wanna work out! It's too hard!" but just hear me out okay? We have to exercise so our internal organs can stay healthy. When we don't take care of ourselves by not at least taking 15 minutes out of our day by walking, exercising, or cardio, when there is 24 hours in a day... That is a major neglect to yourself. Just remember that it is a privilege that you still have the ability to move, jump, lift, run, squat, and even more. When there are people who suffer from chronic pain and disabilities that are still making sure to take care of their physical health because they have no other choice. When you think about how you're too "lazy" and you can't do it because of your "laziness", think of those people! Cherish the health that you have before it's too late. You can start by stretching, going for walks, or watching workout videos for beginners on YouTube.
Build a schedule: Having a routine is so important because it helps reduce stress and organizes the task that we have to do throughout our day. Make a sleep schedule for yourself as well. Going to bed late until 3 am in the morning or waking up too early is unsafe and makes you less alert when you are out in the world. So please be careful! Try to at least get 6 hours of sleep a day. Drinking tea, taking a warm bath, or using essential oils can help you fall asleep if you don't like using melatonin.
Cleanliness & Hygiene: It's unfortunate that I have to say this but some people were not taught by their parents on how to be clean. Or how cishet men feel that being hygienic is "gay". That's absurd! Everyone should have a clean house, clean body, and a good hygiene routine. There is no excuse for that. Even when I was depressed I still would get up to brush my teeth or wash my hair because I knew that if I were to ever go too long without taking care of my hygiene I'd have to deal with damaging my teeth, hair, or skin. Everything has a cause and effect when you neglect doing self care and that could also be apart of the reason why you feel so down about your looks is due to that lack of poor hygiene. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant and you don’t need to do a 10 step skincare routine all the time. You can buy beauty products for cheap at off price retail stores and can get combs, toothbrushes, etc, at the dollar store. All you gotta do is wash your face and shower daily (scrub in between your ass cheeks, please and thank you 💀), brush your teeth at least 3 or more times a day, moisturize with lotions, use a sunscreen (cus nobody got time for skin cancer), apply deodorant, and that's literally it. You can use toners, serums, and skin treatments if you feel like it but that’s not neccessary unless you have specific concerns (acne, wrinkles, etc).
Personal finance 💵: As a Capricorn ♑️, there is nothing more important to me than having my own money. Knowing how to budget and being responsible with your funds is so crucial. You can manifest prosperity and be wealthy, but if you don't know what to do with a million dollars, how could you ever receive it? It is so attractive when someone is wise with their money. I took elective classes in high school for commercial art, marketing, and personal finance so that way I could learn to how to be independent as an adult and not have to "hustle" or live the struggle life. Always take care of your household bills (utilities, repairs, gas for the car, etc.) first and then leave a certain amount for yourself for when you want to have fun, go shopping, etc. Learn about how to make an investment, as well as stocks, because that is another way that you can make a lot of money (and no I don't mean Crypto or NFTs 😭)
Education is key 📚: READ HEAUXS REEEEAD 👓 Make those sapiosexuals quiver with your big sexy brain 🧠. I just feel like in general we need to be knowledgeable about our history and *Jaden Smith voice* the political state of the world right now. Being dismissive and ignorant is a major turn off. You have to be able to know how to communicate in certain settings or talk about certain subjects, or else you're gonna just look and sound dumb. I don't care if you like to read about insects or flowers, just find a topic that interests you.
Boundaries: A simple way to start implementing self care into your daily routine is by being able to say "Yes." Or "No." I know for women it is hard to assert themselves and say no especially when there is a grimy ass man tryna flirt with you (ayoooo shawty 🤓), but for your own protection you gotta do it. When people know you are not stern and you are not able to defend yourself, they take advantage of that. It makes you an easy target. Let's say for a example, you have a overbearing parent that constantly drains and takes from your energy. This parent doesn't respect you and makes you feel bad about yourself because you let them. When they ask you for something, you can just say; "Thank you but I will not be doing that. It would be an inconvenience for me right now because I have to focus on ___" or "I would prefer not to do that because I have to do ___ this week and it's very important". Even if it's not anything actually important, still say no. Another example is if you have a friend that's toxic and is not elevating you in any type of way (mentally, emotionally, or finacially). Then tell them that and cut them off. You are not obligated to stay around anyone who brings you down. Here is a list of ways to set boundaries professionally. Also learn to stop over apologizing here is what you can do instead. Margot Robbie learned to say "Thank you" instead of saying "sorry" because of Barbie.
Meditation 🧘🏽‍♀️: A useful skill in embracing your thoughts, whether they are positive or negative, to help in finding your inner zen. Meditation was something that was tricky for me at first. Most people say to "empty your mind and be still" when meditating and for someone with ADHD, I was like... "Umm, this is boring 💀???" but overtime I tried it a few times again and have grown to appreciate it! I learned that meditation was actually quite helpful for me, especially when I felt burdened with too many tasks, or was dealing racing thoughts. It just really helped me calm down, especially when I was feeling overwhelmed (for people who experience sensory overloads I highly recommend!). I no longer feel ashamed or fearful of when a intrusive thought crosses my mind. I just simply let that thought pass through and go on about my day. The average young adult has over 6,000 thoughts a day, so why would I give something so meaningless power? I am in control of myself and what I react to. For this, it will allow you to do the same.
Spend time with a loved one: I'm sure we all have someone who we consider our comfort person or a special pet that makes us feel calm. Humans are animals, sometimes we need that social interaction to stay sane during troubling times. Make a phone call, text, or plan to meet up with a friend or family member this week. Maybe even step out of your comfort zone and ask an acquaintance out for lunch.
Be brave: Remember what I said about stepping out of your comfort zone? That's right. It's time to stop living a life of regrets and live a life of excitement. I want you to think about something you've been really wanting to do lately but haven't pursued it yet because of fear, doubt, or limiting beliefs. Take a deep breath and release it to the universe, your spirit guides, or any deity that you worship. Maybe there is a person you have a crush that you have been wanting to ask out lately or have been wanting to dye your hair a new color but were afraid of how it would turn out. Whatever it is, just have courage to go after what you want for once. For being brave is just about taking a leap of faith, even when you are scared.
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How to awaken your inner goddess ✨️:
Loving yourself shouldn't be a chore, it should be a ritual baby 😌! Now for my beginner witches or practioners in closed practices. I know it can be intimidating to start doing deity work. That's why you have to take things slow and go at your own pace. I always recommend starting with doing a cleansing (burning incense, spraying florida water, etc) or a protection spell before doing any other kind of magick. Even though yes, I do worship Aphrodite, it is not neccessary for people to only go to her for a "glow up". There are sooooo many deities who are also gods or goddesses of love, beauty, etc. Naturally, a deity will show you signs that they wish to work with you, so makw sure to be on the look out for that!
Also if you are a woman of color like mwuahhh 😘 then here are a list of deities that also represent love, confidence, beauty, fertility, & creativity in African, Asian, Indigenous, & Pacific Islander religions:
Oshun (closed practice / Yoruba)
Yenaya (closed practice / Yoruba)
Hathor
Bastet
Isis
Astarte
Rati (Hinduism)
Lakshimi (Hinduism)
弁才天 / Benzaiten (Japanese Buddhism)
자청비 / Jacheongbi
仰阿莎 / Yang Asha
Liễu Hạnh
Mayari
Laka
Xochiquetzal
Estsanatlehi
Other deities are:
Apollo, Cupid, Eros, Priapus, Min, Brigid, & Dionyus
There is also ascended masters, saints, archangels, ancestors, & spirit guides that you can connect with. I recommend building a relationship with your ancestors first.
How to talk your deity:
Create an altar for them or a sacred space.
Cleanse the area to avoid interacting with trickster spirits.
Place offerings on the table (make sure to look up what offerings they like!).
Light a candle or burn incense for them.
Write them a letter or pray. You can ask them for help with your specific needs or just talk to them about your day or how you are currently feeling.
BE CONSISTENT! Deities are not one of your little friends, they are gods/goddesses. Show them respect by praying, including them in spellwork, and giving them offerings frequently (they are understanding if you cannot give them food or drinks all the time though if you cannot afford it).
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The final boss, The Enchantress 🔮❄️:
"SHADOW MONEY WIZARD GANGGG! We love casting spells 😈"
Alright, alright. I know you guys were reading all this thinking "Bitch where tf is the tutorial??? 😭" BUT WHAT I HAD TO SAY WAS IMPORTANT SO YOU CAN HAVE LONG TERM RESULTS 💀! Here is the moment you've all been waiting forrr 🤭!
101 on Glamour Magick:
The days of the week are connected to the planets.
Friday is a good day for casting love and beauty spells since it's ruler is Venus. While on Monday you can cast spells for healing & enhancing psychic powers, since it's ruler is the Moon. Thursday's ruler is Jupiter so you can cast spells for money and prosperity.
Buy a mirror that is for your special use only (If someone ends up accidently using it it's okay nothing bad will happen to them). Spray it with a window cleaner and wipe it down counter clockwise, say what your intention is for the mirror as you clean it. You can buy any kind of mirror you like (compact mirror, hand held mirror, desktop mirror, etc).
You can use your mirror for scrying or seeing into the future (divination).
When doing your mirror work, look into your eyes, and affirm to yourself. It can be anything you wish to say. Just let it flow naturally. It might feel uncomfortable at first but as you continue to practice it you will feel more confident about it.
Include your deity while affirming. (When I do this, I show appreciation to Aphrodite, and thank her for blessing me with such beauty and grace. Even when in the moment I don't have the results I wish to see, I know it is going to happen because I have faith in her.)
Ask your ancestors what their beauty rituals and regimes were. Doing routines that your ancestors did will create a closer bond with them and also build confidence in your ethnic features.
Items that are represented as love: roses, cinnamon, honey, sugar, vanilla, coriander, basil, chamomile, carnations, tulips, lockets, keys, & hearts
Items that are represented as beauty: cowrie shells, orchids, peony, ribbons, veils, & bows
Items that help enhance intuition: seashells, conch shells, rosemary, lotuses, & feathers
Chinese guashas & jade rollers help reduce stress, tension, and puffiness in your facial muscles. It can also help sculpt your face.
African waistbeads were worn by women under their clothes to help slim their waist and also attract love. Depending on the crystals used, it would also help manifest abundance.
Some beauty crystals used for love, beauty, & intuition are: Rose quartz, jade, pink tourmaline, moonstone, amethyst, selenite, garnet, carnelian, and turquoise.
You can carve sigils or symbols onto your candle, an easy one to use is the venus symbol ♀️.
A list of meanings for the scents of the candle, wax, or deodorizer in your home. Here is the list for incense.
Candles are great to seal your spell jars or use on their own for magick.
A list of different burning sticks you can use (smudging, white sage, and Palo Santo is a closed practice)
The scent of your perfume can be used for seduction or attracting love/popularity.
Soap, shampoo, or conditioner can be used to cleanse your energy.
Ingredients in foods, cleaning, haircare, skincare, or beauty products can have magical properties that you can attract towards you or your home. (I.E: Lavendar for peace & tranquility, Lemon for warding off negative energy, & Vanilla for love)
"The hair theory" trend is a form of glamour magick. Doing your hair differently can create a new persona and change how people perceive you.
Depending on your hair color it can represent the elements.
Your hair texture can symbolize what power you possess: Coily hair grows upward and rises towards the sun. When using their awareness, they are highly observant and courageous. Coily hair has the fire element. Curly hair breaks hexes and spiritually protects the mind. Due to it's volume and resemblance to a cloud, it has the air element. People with wavy hair are intuitive, affectionate, and sensitive, their element is water. Straight hair is the most connected to the earth. People with this hair texture can be introverted, dependable, and grounded.
Your hair length signifies your current state of energy.
Short hair is connected to father sky.
Long hair is connected to mother earth.
It is best to cut your hair when you are in need of releasing stress, anguish, and turmoil.
You can set your intentions into the hair that you braid.
Black people can cornrow patterns or symbols onto their scalp for manifestation.
Locs symbolize freedom and wisdom from the ancestors.
Twists can be used for spiritual binding.
Read here for more on hair witchcraft & hair astrology.
Wearing headscarves, hijabs, bonnets, durags, or hats can protect you from the evil eye or if you're an empath, it can protect your energy from being drained in public spaces.
Do not make any physical changes during a Venus retrograde.
Plastic surgery can alter one's identity. It is like putting on a different mask. It can become an addiction to people who feel lost in life. While for others it can give them a new path to start on.
You can paint sigils or symbols for nail art.
The nail shape you have or get done at a salon can correspond to Onychomancy (https://www.tiktok.com/@taisoleil/video/7035737221068082479?_t=8etXLhtR3LH&_r=1)
You can also use yours or other's eyebrows for divination.
Straight eyebrows: someone who is level headed. Round eyebrows: someone who is compassionate with a kind heart. Arched eyebrows: someone who is independent. Thick eyebrows: someone who can be stubborn and goal oriented. Thin eyebrows: someone who is bold and daring. No eyebrows: someone who is a risk taker and can be careless. The unibrow: symbolizes good luck, fertility, & serendipity.
Your eyelashes are for good luck (which is why people make a wish on fallen lashes, they are similar to dandelions).
Different lash styles can be used as a "barricade".
Manga/spiked lashes: makes you appear pure & innocent, can get away with stuff more. Fluffy lashes: depending on the thickness, it can resemble a spider, therefore can cause someone to have a intensive aura. Cat/hybrid lashes: Increase in clairvoyance, see past the 3D, and have the senses of a feline. Natural lashes: The gaze will be comforting and welcoming to others, they can see into your soul.
Your eye color can mean what powers you have for spells. Colored contacts can create a different outcome.
Glasses can be used for insight and enlightenment. While sunglasses or shades, can make you more mysterious/hide your identity.
For those with periods, cycle syncing can help with increasing productivity.
Depending on your body shape, weight, & features it could symbolize your status in society.
In ancient Greece, people who were voluptuous with plump bellies were seen as healthy & rich. It was a sign of being well fed and treated like royalty.
In Africa & Southeast Asia, long necks signify having dignity & elegance.
Being tall could be seen as powerful, while being short could be seen as delicate. If you are average height, you could be seen as harmonious.
Physiognomy is the method of using the face & body for divination. In China, it is a popular method for readings.
Moles, birthmarks, & skin tags are believed to be the sign of being a Witch.
Vitiligo can mean spiritual purification & finding beauty in your imperfections.
It has been said that freckles are kisses from the angels. These people themselves can be described as earth angels or have a closer connection with archangels.
The form of your freckles can symbolize different things. If they form in a straight line, it could mean you are a focused person. If they are scattered, you like to go with the flow in life. If your freckles come and go during the seasons, you like to experience change or excitement often in your life.
Freckles & beauty marks overall show signs of a person having a unique character.
The clothing you wear can have a mystical effect.
Baggy/layered clothing: spiritually protective. Revealing clothing: free spirited & alluring. Patterned clothing: Makes you illusive or hard to decipher. Animal print clothing: embodies the energy of said animal (I.E: Tiger print would make you appear cunning & fierce). Colorful clothing: your spirit will seem more youthful & vivacious.
The shoes you wear can make you walk into new opportunities unexpectedly.
You can keep a piece of paper that has a spell in your shoes for good luck or attracting your desire.
Buying shoes and watches for your romantic partner is bad luck in hoodoo (Shoes can make someone walk out the door and leave forever. While watches can make someone look at the time they have left with you.)
Earrings can help you hear what others say about you or what gossip is going around. (I heard the most compliments the other day while wearing my gold hoops 💫)
A necklace that has a charm or crystal can be used as a tailsmans, amulet, or pendulum.
Wearing rings on which hand or finger could enhance your abilities.
The same way there is money bowls, you can also make love or beauty bowls, or even use your jewelry box.
You can use color magick when doing your makeup or choosing an outfit.
Primer, lotions/moisturizers, body butters, oils, and gels can be used for sigils.
Foundation is for stability and being secure with yourself.
Concealer "cloaks" or "veils" your weaknesses or insecurities.
Contour makes space and structure for your desire.
Eyeliner can be used as a tool. It wards off negative spirits & people with bad intentions.
In ancient Egypt, the use of Kohl represented rank and achievement.
Mascara can be used to give you a different perspective in things or make you more open minded.
Eyeshadow enhances your eyes & brings more depth or dimension. Makes your gaze hypnotic & enticing like a siren's.
Highlighter shines your best qualities.
Bronzer makes your presence more warm & friendly
Blush is for playfulness, youthfulness, flirtation, and vitality.
The lip product you use can speak your desires into fruition. It also make your words sound more beautiful. People will want to listen more because they will feel attracted to your voice.
Lip gloss: makes your intentions "stick" to you. Lipstick: Leaves a "mark" on your target (especially if it's someone you fancy 💋). Lip stain: makes your words have a permanent effect on people, they won't forget you. Flavored lip balms: makes your kisses addicting.
Powder enhances your spell & adds a touch of good luck.
Setting spray finishes the spell.
528 Hz is the frequency of love.
Listening to frequencies, music, & subliminals can attract your desires.
You can make a playlist for your deity or ancestors to channel messages from them.
Here are some celebrities who used mirror work or glamour magick to manifest:
Beyoncé's Renaissance album has themes of having a good self concept, knowing your worth, manifesting self love & abundance.
Marilyn Monroe used visualization & affirmations to manifest her beauty and fame: “I daydreamed chiefly about beauty. I dreamed of myself becoming so beautiful that people would turn to look at me when I passed.”
Michael Jackson would keep sticky notes and a diary full of affirmations in his room by his mirror: “I'm beautiful (4x). I'm gorgeous. [Bad..?] Is for me, who can be against me? I'm beautiful. I'm a new person now. Beautiful, knowing the secret, and determined with fire[?] to move mountains in all I do. Molding my own world. I'm beautiful. The old me is behind. I will much ahead anew. - MJ”
Alexa Demie stated in a interview with Vogue that she would say affirmations in the mirror daily in the morning and it helped her manifest clear skin: “I have beautiful, clear, acne-free, scar-free skin.”
Princess Nokia is a bruja and is well known for her constant change in appearance: “Casting spells with my cousins / I'm the head of this coven / I'm a shapeshifting bitch, you don't know who you loving.”
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Thanks so much for reading, I wish you all the best of luck on your journey 🤍🤍🤍
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max1461 · 2 months
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You guys do not understand that for the average person "freak" is already an inherently terrible thing to be, and "weird" only recently became acceptable when its meaning was softened and palatable "weirdness" became marketable alongside "nerd culture". In everyday usage a "weird guy" is still someone you want to avoid, it's a common euphemism for "probable sex offender", and to call someone a freak is about equivalent to calling them a slur. Being visibly mentally ill or visibly homeless is enough for a good portion of the population to believe you don't deserve human rights (although they wouldn't phrase it that way), and having visibly autistic mannerism is enough for people to think you shouldn't be let around kids. LGBT acceptance was won by arguing that gay and trans people are "normal, just like you and me", that they aren't weird, that they aren't freaky sex perverts they just want to love and be who they are. There has never been any kind of broader acceptance towards weirdness qua weirdness or freaks qua freaks, even on the left. It doesn't exist. For the average person, to be weird and gross is to be inhuman, unworthy of life. There is no distinction made between the subjectively disgusting and the morally condemnable; if you are freaky you are bad and that's that.
People calling J. D. Vance a weirdo is not going to come back around to harm LGBT people in some sort of indirect way, because mainstream acceptance of LGBT people is already predicated on the assumption that they are not weird. That's what the last 15 years have been about, convincing mainstream society that LGBT people are "normal", because normalcy is a deeply ingrained prerequisite for acceptance. Obviously I think this is ridiculous and stupid, but I think it's pretty silly to look at Dems calling J. D. Vance "weird" and "freaky" and be like "that's what's doing it". No, it's like attacking a politician by insinuating that they're gay in the 70s or whatever. It sucks that that's something that can be used as an insult but it's the water we're fucking swimming in, it's gonna be years before anyone looks back on it with shame. And a lot of supposedly progressive people are gonna realize they were on the wrong side of history, but that's par for the course.
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faerynova · 2 years
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PIGLIN BRAIDS
some of my personal lore/ideas for piglins!
hair is incredibly important in piglin culture, and you essentially display your life and who you are and your connections to others through your braids and jewelry
some more details/thoughts under the cut:
about a decade after philza and techno became friends, philza and techno were stuck in the nether when philza was injured (source of his bad leg) and they had to get help from a local bastion. they ended up befriending people and stayed there for about 150-200 years before they finally left, but every few hundred years they go back to spend a few decades there. they also go back specifically whenever philza and trixtin want to have children.
techno has 2 studs in his ear that philza doesn't--they're actually the earrings of his OLD/first sounder which doesn't exist anymore.
a lot of occupations are lumped together--philza's braid specifically means "builder", which refers to architects, artists, smiths, sculptors, and other professions of the same speed.
god/worship braids are meant to be knotted into your hair and stay there until your hair grows out and you have to redo the beads. each commonly recognized god has their own bead patterns, though eut'oob (i yoinked the name from a fic and i dont remember which one aaa if anyone in the notes remembers ill credit it) is a surface god and techno made up his own braid pattern for him because he isnt worshipped in the nether.
piglins have matesprit, moirail, and kismesis jewelry >:] iykyk. emduo are moirails cant change my mind. (techno had kismesis chains/jewelry for squid but that was a long time ago--squid died of old age)
word braiders are a highly valued part of piglin society. the reason it's a piercing and not a braid is because you have to be gifted a nose ring and be approved to get a piercing by another master word braider to show that you're qualified to call yourself one. you can't just put in a braid and call it a day.
wilbur grew up in a bastion till he was like 14/15 but he ended up chopping all of his hair off when he was a teen. techno is the one who gave him his nose ring when he was 17.
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thats all i can think of have a nice day <3
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beware-thecrow · 2 months
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I fucking hate BNHA The last panel about "granma is here" in fact further proves my point on another post of how empty and nonsensical BNHA became in the last arc because AfO wanting Tomura from the very beginning made impossible for him to be saved anyway, which means all his beef with the heroes became unjustified and his speech about violence and heroes and villains held no importance in the end. Why?
Because you cannot have a character built over the premise that society was so corrupt and selfish that put a little boy in the bad bad villain's reach for 5 arcs, to then say "oh, wait. He was fucked anyway because the bad bad guy was behind everything all along"
A bad bad guy not even all might in his prime could defeat, so it doesn't matter if people would or wouldn't help others. "It's all bad bad guy's fault anyway and he's practically immortal." Perfect, now we know granma didn't stand a chance against AfO, he planned this.
The whole idea of a society that relies on heroes too much instead of everyone doing their part from kindness falls like a house of cards if you have an evil so corrupt that none of said kindness will mean a thing. The moment Horikoshi went from "Tomura was found by AfO" to "Tomura was planned by AfO" the core theme of his series crumbled down. The league as a device lost its meaning, the characters that composed it became unjustified because whatever motivation they had was in fact a manipulation from the greater evil. And this applies to everyone.
What's the point in Toga and Twice calling out the lack of help for people with mental illness and problematic quirks if the message still is "If you do bad things out of despair no one will help you and you'll get killed." And yes, Toga died loved, Toga wanted to be loved, but she didn't wanted to die?? She was literally an abandoned child who found a family and ended up dying giving blood to the same girl she stabbed. And yeah, it's kinda poetic she died giving blood instead of taking it, but what was the point if she doesn't get to know she's loved? Further more, are we really to believe Ochako loved Toga? A girl she literally didn't know. Sorry, but once I got lost in a mall and a police officer helped me find my mom, that doesn't mean the officer loved me. And yeah, Ochako tried her best to be a good hero, but it's not about what the characters do, it's what the story tells you it happens with what they do. The story just told you the ill and abandoned die in the end before anyone helps them. And they die hunted by the police. What's the point of Touya as a whole? oh, wait. I know, it must be very awful for Endeavor to be such a bad person, his child ended up incapacitated. Very hard on Endeavor. Fuck Dabi being turned into a piece of charcoal, IT'S HARD ON HIS DAD.
What's the point in Spinner pointing out discrimination and people following him if in the end we got that he should have stayed in his lane, in his room, friendless because he only went out to be seen by someone who accepted him, just to have that person tortured in front of him before he was killed. And for what? For a teen to tell him "Yo, bro. I punched your bestie to death, make a comic about it. Btw you'll be staying in jail forever. So so sorry for you guys." Proving once again, murder is okay if you are on the right side of the story. No matter how much compassion, Tomura showed Spinner, or how much he suffered through life. Heroes had the right to kill him, and there was nothing Spinner (who legit loved his friend) could do about it because AfO had taken over. Again, another good character turned pointless, with a pointless point of view, with a pointless conclusion because he can tell the story of Tomura Shigaraki all he wants FROM JAIL, but under the public eye Tomura will go down as an insane mass murderer either way since looking at him in any other light would inevitably make a target of Izuku for killing him and that won't happen. You cannot have "the best hero ever" and "he killed this dude that was kinda right" in the same sentence. It doesn't make sense. Not to mention his case against discrimination went nowhere since everyone who followed him became a villain and the only person who actually makes a point about discrimination ends up being Deku on another, totally different chapter that had nothing to do with Spinner. And...he's a hero so he can say whatever he wants, we go back to "questioning bad, unless a hero says it" and "people are really that horrible in BNHA universe".
Tomura's case it's even more fucked because even when he said he didn't want a future, every single wish he had fell flat. His hatred for not being saved as a child proved to be out of anyone's control, his desire to destroy society didn't land because nothing really changed. There are still schools for child soldiers, and people are still not questioning the violence heroes use to keep the status quo, and certainly no one is wondering how is that a couple of heroes were able to kill a couple of villains (because so far Hawks still has a job). His friends ended up dead or locked away, and the child in him that begged to be saved ended up...being not. In the end, we got a suffering festival for Tomura, from his granma being pushed to drop her kid, his dad being tricked, his parents getting killed in front of him, Mon-chan and Hana's memory squeezed dry and young Tenko asking for help while Tomura was assaulted by his creepy guardian for 200 chapters straight just to tell us that Deku at sixteen was a great hero for putting a twenty one-year-old dissociated guy out of his misery like a euthanized dog. And for what? To finish a guy who was infatuated with his dead brother AND THAT COULD HAVE BEEN EXECUTED IN JAIL LIKE...300 CHAPTERS AGO, since the manga already made the point that villains can be executed with little repercussion, and it can be justified if said villain it's a threat. Then...why was AfO alive to begin with? Oh, I guess this is something we can trust to a 16 year old instead of... the government or whatever. And yeah, these are tragic figures, they certainly are, but you can hardly claim that they achieved anything in the end because the first premise of the league, why it was formed and why they joined was
To live as we want/are. And now they are dead, or locked away, or bedridden crispy for something that was planted by someone else from the very beginning. And what they believed didn't change anything in the end because it's not like the public saw them do something meaningful but, again, they are being told what to believe, by whom? BY THE HEROES. Are we really arguing that Iguchi's comic will change society? ARE WE FOR REAL????? Have you ever read the story of Jesus Christ? he died for our sins by Marvel. And on top of that as the last nail in the coffin to prove that NOTHING changed, Hawks really said rebranding + target audience =📈🤙🏼 StOnKS✨ I wish I was joking.
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endemise · 8 months
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✻ DEMO
→ Latest Update: Prologue — 3 February 2024
17+ The Fall of House Black — A gothic, supernatural, mystery interactive fiction story. Lightly inspired by The Fall of the House of Usher and Frankenstein media. (Work in Progress)
Synopsis has mentions of death and suicide. See extended content warnings below.
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The fall of House Black, your house, was an imminent thing. A name had never been so cursed that all it could do was bring about death.
First, your younger sister in a swimming accident, then your older brother in a case of mistaken identity. As the rest of your family sought to grieve and bring justice to your brother, your older sister was killed in a hunting accident at the end of your father’s bow.
The three of you, mother, father, and child, became inconsolable. Broken beyond repair. Your mother unable to bear the weight of life any longer took her own while your father disappeared, gone into the night. When you remain the sole survivor of House Black, you know you must leave, and on the night of your decision, your home goes up in flames with you inside.
Then, you awake, dazed with no recollection of anything, and when you look down at your body, you scream. It is wrong. So wrong.
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Play as a reanimated, customizable character.
Learn how to be a person again.
Try to survive in a society that fears the unknown.
Develop relationships. (4 ROs: All gender-selectable + 1 secret RO)
Aid in the investigation of your family’s untimely deaths.
Learn about your family’s curse.
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Aesop/Almira Hammond | Detective | 36 Years Old | RO
[Profile] [Portrait]
A is an observant and clever person, stoic in nature. They put their all into their work, striving to find the truth in every case. They take on the case of your family’s sudden deaths despite pushback from others. It was an occurrence of events all too strange, and they are determined to figure it out.
Cyprian/Cecilia Atterton | Writer | 28 Years Old | RO
[Profile] [Portrait]
C is an imaginative and creative person, quiet in nature. They write not only from their own experiences, but the experiences of others as well. They are interviewing people about House Black, intending on writing a book about your family’s ill fate and eventual demise.
Sebastian/Sabina Farwell | Doctor | 34 Years Old | RO
[Profile] [Portrait]
S is an intelligent and kind person, caring in nature. They are a most trusted doctor, hardworking and honest. They were the young doctor that tried to help your father and sister. They helped without question, never calling your family cursed as you so often were.
Elias/Elosia Osborne | Coroner | 30 Years Old | RO
[Profile] [Portrait]
E is an empathetic and hardworking person, cheerful in nature. They put their heart into their work, aiming to bring closure to people as swiftly as possible. They are the one who investigated and confirmed the death of your elder sister. They never could for you though.
Unknown | ??? | ??? | RO
A secret. Who knows when they will appear.
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SUBJECT TO CHANGE
Mentions of death, child death, suicide, violence, blood, injury, burning alive, body horror, mutilation, slight gore, amnesia
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asks are welcomed!
DISCLAIMER
this is a demo/work in progress. everything is subject to change until the final version. it is by no means a finished or polished work.
LINKS
✻ demo | same one, just another link
✻ itch.io | my creator page
✻ @ethersic | my main, art, etc. blog
INFO
word count w/o code: 6.3k
made with tweego + vscode + sugarcube
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hard--headed--woman · 4 months
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Hello and happy Pride Month everyone ! 🏳️‍🌈
As promised, I am going to talk about an important lesbian in history everyday. And this first post is about one of my favourite :
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Renée Vivien !
I have seen some people talk about her here but she clearly isn’t as famous as she should be, and she deserves way more recognition!
Renée Vivien, whose birth name is Pauline Mary Tam, was a British writer poetess, who wrote her poetry (and most of her works) in french ; born in 1877, she died in 1909, at only 32 years old.
Renée was openly a lesbian, and she never tried to hide it despite the society she lived in being extremely homophobic and considering homosexuality as an illness. In her poetry, she mentions her love for women a lot, and wrote a lot of love poems for several of her lovers. This even earned her the nickname “Sappho 1900”. ("Sappho 1900, Sappho cent pour cent").
Of Sappho, she was by the way a huge fan : in 1903, she published the work "Sappho", in which the poet's Greek texts are followed by a French translation, as well as verses by Renée Vivien, which thus "completes" the remaining fragments of Sappho's writings. This collection greatly helped to anchor Sappho's work and her identity as a lesbian woman in our culture.
Her work consists of :
Twelve collections of poems, totalling more than 500 poems
Several translations of Greek poetesses (including Sappho)
Seven books of prose
Around ten novels (written under various pseudonyms)
A posthumously published collection of short Gothic tales (written in English this time)
A book about Anne Boleyn's life
It is also possible to read her diary and the letters she exchanged with her lovers, friends and other personalities of her time, including Natalie Clifford Barney, Colette, Kérimé Turkhan Pacha and others.
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Pauline studied both in Paris and in London, then decided, once she came of age, to come and settle in Paris. She published her first collection,"Études et Préludes" in 1901, under the pseudonym R.Vivien. This pseudonym later became René Vivien (the male version of Renée) then Renée Vivien, the name under which she will be remembered. We can easily guess that she first chose these neutral then masculine pseudonyms to be able to write and be published despite the misogyny and homophobia of her time, especially given the themes exploited in her writings.
Sadness, death, ancient Greece, love, despair, solitude and love are the most recurrent themes in Renée's poems. There is actually a poetry prize in her name, the Prix Renée Vivien, which rewards poets whose themes and style are close to those of Renée Vivien.
Among Renée's best-known lovers is Natalie Clifford Barney, a famous writer and poet, with whom she had a relationship for several years before leaving her, tired of her infidelities. It is said that Natalie never accepted this breakup and tried until the end to get her back by all means, sending her love letters even years after.
Renée then had a relationship of more than six years with the rich Baroness Hélène de Zuylen, married and mother of two children, with whom she traveled extensively around the world and collaborated on the writing of several works (under the collective pseudonym Paule Riversdale). In a letter to her friend Jean Charles-Brun, Renée admitted that she considered herself married to Hélène.
While still living with the Baroness, she received a letter from a mysterious admirer, Kérimé Turkhan Pacha. What followed was an intense four-year epistolary relationship, interspersed with brief clandestine meetings. In 1908, however, Kérimé, the wife of a Turkish diplomat, put an end to their relationship when she had to follow her husband to St. Petersburg. This break-up probably contributed to Renée's tragic end.
The writer was in deep psychological distress, which only worsened from 1908 onwards. Alcoholic and suicidal, she began refusing to eat properly, and attempted suicide with laudanum. After this failed suicide attempt, she contracted pleurisy, which left her very weak, and then chronic gastritis due to her alcohol abuse. She gradually fell into anorexia, and, with her limbs paralyzed by multiple neuritis, she died on November 18, 1909, aged just 32. Her death was attributed to "pulmonary congestion", probably due to pneumonia complicated by alcohol and anorexia.
After her death, intellectuals, artists and newspapers, out of lesbophobia, tried to make her forgotten by the literary world, describing her as a woman of evil and damnation, perverse and cruel, going so far as to invent for her a life of crime, debauchery, orgies with married women, violence and cocaine consumption.
Today, Renée Vivien's name is no longer known to the general public, and is never mentioned alongside those of great ans famous poets such as Arthur Rimbaud or Charles Baudelaire, despite her gorgeous poetry, her immense talent and fascinating work.
She's personally my favourite, and not only because she was a lesbian. Her poetry is the most beautiful, interesting and deep poetry I have ever seen. She deserves to be as famous as Victor Hugo or Paul Eluard (and even more famous, in my opinion lol).
Here is one of her poems, with its english translation :
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A link to some of her poems (in french but you can use a translator) ;
And two links with some of her poems translated into english : 1 and 2.
You should totally buy and read her books and poems, I have them and they're amazing!!! I'll post more translations of her poems in the future for those interested.
Anyway, thanks for reading and see you tomorrow for the second post!
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