#it annoys me on a very deeply personal level

[gaytricorder]

Do you really think shatnoy was real? /Gen I am intrigued actually. I don't tend to dabble with rpf but your post made me think

do i think shatnoy was real, hmm. not really, no. i think shatner and nimoy liked women very much. do i think they had a friendship that perhaps went a bit deeper due to their shared bond over making star trek and spending so many years in each other’s company? yes.

if you think about it, a lot of friendships are surface level or maybe hindered due to work, family or other responsibilities that get in the way of forging true platonic relationships. shatner and nimoy were thrust into an intense level of fame after tos began to gain traction and eventually becoming a cult classic sci-fi television show. their faces were everywhere. they weren’t bill and leonard anymore, they were spock and kirk. with that level of fame comes its own difficulties and on top of that, they were probably always presumed to be as close as they were on the show.

shatner is not kirk in real life. he’s obviously said and done some things that some people find reprehensible. nimoy has shown himself to be a genuinely kind and philanthropic person. i think because of their opposing personalities, it kind of clicked for them. yin and yang, so speak. nimoy blunted all of shatner’s serrated edges and shatner was endearing to him in a way we’ll never be able to bear witness to or quite understand. i’m not claiming to have known them in their personal lives, but through interviews, books, and movies, i think i have a better understanding of what worked for them.

do i think shatner and nimoy had some kind of secret, passionate romance unbeknownst to the world? no. but i do think they loved each other, deeply. i think trust and understanding are things that few people are able to share completely with another human being. genuine affection (not romantic nor familial) for another person despite their flaws and shortcomings is something so rarely experienced in someone’s lifetime.

so no, i don’t think shatnoy was real in the sense that you’re asking me about. i think shatnoy was real in a much more intimate way. they loved each other. they watched each other grow old. probably confided in each other about their fears and frustrations that came with being spock and kirk. celebrated victories and failures as actors and people.

probably griped to each other about how annoying some star trek fans (me) can be.

they were best friends.

it’s depressing they weren’t able to make up before nimoy’s death, but shatner has made his affection and respect for nimoy publicly known.

and even though the world knew them as kirk and spock, they knew each other as bill and leonard.

(and maybe they made out sometimes when the mood struck idk)

[saph-yells-into-the-void]

the amount of DISDAIN I get from some ppl saying that blue flag is written for the straights.

girl I did not stay up til 6am reading this manga, tearing up and crying bc of how much I saw myself in characters like touma and masumi and how painfully relatable their pain/struggles were just for you to say that blue flag is for the straights

be so fr rn

[ineffectualdemon]

Things baked into Terry Pratchett books that I didn't realise at first but very much needed and benefited from:

Being unpleasant, weird, socially difficult, off-putting, uncomfortable to be around, annoying, obnoxious, etc does not equal being a bad person

And it definitely doesn't mean others don't have a duty of baseline care about you

They don't have to like you but there is a baseline "we live in a society and I care about what happens to the people around me" type of duty that you are owed

They can think you're unpleasant to be around and even stupid and cringe in your presence but there is a duty of care to your existence

And if you are doing bad things you can stop

There are always chances to think about your actions and why you're doing them and if you really believe it's the right thing

There is always an option to stop

And some people do

And some people don't

But if people do that doesn't mean they aren't still maybe unpleasant to be around or awkward or uncomfortable

The "bad guys" in Terry Pratchett tend to

1. Believe they are in the right

2. Never question that belief

3. Have multiple opportunities to not be doing what they are doing but fully commit

4. May have points that at least feel reasonable on a surface level if you don't think about them too deeply

5. Face consequences of their own actions. Which includes the protagonist having to slap them down. If they didn't put the stuff in motion and refuse to back down they wouldn't be getting slapped

They aren't cartoon baddies they are really realised characters with convictions that they believe in and truly tend to believe their actions are the best thing to be doing. That they are doing what others should have already done

But in Terry Pratchett what makes you on the wrong side of the narrative is not your personality or your looks or how sociable you are

It's your continuing actions that define you AND your unwillingness to change

And I think I very much needed that reinforced in my life

[vigilskeep]

Did you read the ign article about which choices will matter in Veilguard? What are your thoughts?

i’ve come to the realisation i simply don’t care very much. personally

i’m not really a person who cares a lot about having endings tied up by the official writers. a few months ago the characters and plot points i already love might have been what i was hoping for, but right now what i’m excited to play is veilguard, itself, and i’d rather they spent their time and focus on the game they want to make and that i’ll get to play, rather than on throwing in details about cool stories that they promise are happening offscreen, and finding increasingly desperate excuses for why an alive HOF is somewhere else. and in a way i find the fact that they are outright deciding to treat the games as their own complete stories encouraging for the writing of veilguard itself, implying the consequences of your choices will be felt within the game and planned for, rather than vaguely promised for some future episode that is never coming, like they often have been

i understand why other people are upset and i think it’s completely reasonable that they are, i have zero interest in trying to convince anyone they should feel one way or the other, but i’m also not going to pretend i feel strongly any particular way about this when i don’t. i admit to being a little baffled about how they’re going to handle it, especially with the inquisitor being in the game. but i’m not attached enough to inquisition or any of my inquisitors for that to be something i feel strongly about. if anything on a personal level it wipes out a lot of my weird stress about inputting the “right” worldstate that often stops me actually enjoying the games

to be clear: would i have loved to think zevran would appear or at least be referenced? is it deeply fucking annoying that only a handful of (white) characters seem to get that VIP, always-returning status? sure of course! but i think i consider not being able to input my own specific worldstate details a separate issue and one that is not going to change whether veilguard is good or bad, for me

[lxdymoon0357]

Idk if your requests are open it not but if it is can you give me some pinjng for Roxanna x fem reader / gen reader? I need more of her 😭

(Honestly, understandable. She is a bit of a goddess...a demonic one, but a goddess nonetheless. Homophobia LGBT ally)

© Writing belongs to me, Lxdymoon0357. Do not plagiarize, but reblogging, liking and commenting is deeply appreciated.

Roxanna Agriche X Fem! Reader Headcanons.

⊈ Rozanna either met you as you were her maid or you were a pet from another noble house. Either way, she had you under her control, doing her dangerous betting every single day. She had you easily wrapped around her perfectly, bloody manicured finger.

⊈ Your life was daily in her hands and she was always careless with it, but you know what you did when you came here; either by force or own desperate situation, but of-course it never scared less not knowig which is your last day.

⊈ Eventually you and her did fall in love and she had you close...Though Lante was horrified at his daughter being in love with a girl, but afterwards he calmed down and let her date you, as long as she'd somehow get a child for him to his lineage continues and Roxanna nonchalantly agrees.

⊈ Level passed!! New Level: You're an Agriche now!

⊈ Of-course you're now also a victim to many of the Agriches, including Dion, Charlotte, Fondaine and possibly others. But it's okay, Sierra adores you, Maria...she is weirdly infatuated, Jeremy is slightly jealous you're taking his sister's attention, but eventually you also become his friend.

⊈ She often feeds your blood to the butterflies as well, so they can recognize you too. Also adding tiny doses of poison into your tea, food, drinks. Has the most expensive furs decorating you with the heaviest security around your room.

⊈ Freedom is basically non-existent with the way she moved you into her room and you didn't go outside for like...three months! (I know it's normal for you nerds, probs. But please be normal right now.) ut yeah, almost zero freedom of going out, your'e free to do yada yada in your room though.

⊈ I know for SURE! Roxanne doesn't allow Dion anywhere near you, you'll easily be his next victim so Dion can see Roxanne's emotions more rawful, Charlotte is just annoyed with you being here, because you're simply BELOW her and you're also one of the favourites of THIS HOUSE?! FUCK YOU!

⊈ Speaking of favourites, you'll be joining them in Lant's "special-favourite children dinner" whenever it happens, maids and butlers and cooks are asked to taste everything in advance so you don't get poisoned by ANYONE. It will rain hell by Roxanna if anything happened.

⊈ Has you in makeout sessions right before bed, her fingers gently groping your tits and tweaking your nips, very gently though...depends if it leads to more or simply just a makeout sessions where you both sleep snuggled against each other, where she wakes up every few hours to make sure you're alive.

⊈ Has made sure you're always as safe as her mum, speaking of her mum. You spend a majority of your free time with Sierra, she likes you though a bit nervous around you two. You have to be super nice and get her to warm up to you and she'll adore you as much as she adores her daughter, likes that someone in this house brings her daughter happiness even if she herself couldn't.

⊈ Lanta, Charlotte, Dion, Maria, Grizelda are weirdly homophobic..yet allies? I don't get it, but imagine them just mocking Roxanne for liking a girl despite being beautiful, but the moment a guy or anyone would try to get near you and the person is dead because they're like "Not Roxanne's little shit, you fucker. I'll fuck you up if you hurt her, she's only ours to hurt" like a messed up family dynamic which is hysterically insane.

[anarchiii]

Butterflies —ACOTAR AU

Oneshot | warnings: fluff | Azriel x Y/N

Summary: while Azriel is visiting Day court, he finds himself staring at the most beautiful female he has ever seen.

Note: this is an AU it’s not in the books.

Masterlist

Y/N’s POV

“C’mon, dammit! Get in the net!” Y/N whined, catching butterflies was way harder than she’d thought it would be, especially these ones.

Y/N was in Day court attempting to catch at least three butterflies to give to her niece, she really, really wanted to give up but she couldn’t do that to her niece, Y/N had promised to get her these damn butterflies, and if anyone knew Y/N, they knew she never broke a promise.

So here she was, running around like a crazy person with a net in the fields of Day, “get in!” She yelled, jumping and swinging the net, why was this so hard? Shrieking, she slammed the net on the ground and plopped onto the soft grass. Crossing her arms and pouting.

Y/N laid her head back on the ground, closing her eyes and breathing deeply, she was exhausted from running around all day, she’d try again in ten, Y/N soon fell asleep to the sounds of the soft flapping of the butterflies wings.

-

“Are you awake over there?” She heard someone say, her eyes flew open and she whipped her head in the direction of the voice, locking eyes with the most gorgeous male she had ever seen, he was like a god, a literal god, “uh. . .” She stuttered, tripping over her words. She couldn’t stop staring. He smirked at her, clearly pleased at her expression, stupid, beautiful male.

She cleared her throat, getting up from the grass to find imprints of the blades planted on her skin, she came as close to eye level as she could in her small stature, staring him down, “I’m fine,” his smile widened and he looked to the discarded net that lay a few feet away, “dare I ask why you were chasing butterflies? Were you going to somehow make a poison with them, perhaps I shouldn’t find out that.” He said. Oh, he was toying with her now, and he was enjoying it so much.

“One, it’s none of your business and two, what are you doing here?” It was then that a butterfly landed on his shoulder, doing nothing to stop its movements, his strange shadows that trailed him played with the bug, as playful as its Master.

“I’m here on orders by my High Lord, Rhysand, I come on diplomatic reasons,” he stated simply, he worked for the High Lord of the Night Court, the most powerful and influential Court, she probably should change her tone in front of him, but she couldn’t help it, this male riled her up, pushed all her buttons without even lifting a finger, and Y/N hated it.

“Very well then, you can leave now,” she snapped as she grabbed the net and took another swing at the bugs, surprisingly, she managed to catch one, she gently placed it in the glass container she had brought with her, holes cut into the material to insure good airflow.

The male watched her intently as she chased around the pesky winged creatures, it seemed her luck had run out as she didn’t catch anymore. It took all of five minutes before the beautiful male grabbed the net from her hand and easily swooped up the others, making her look utterly pathetic, he handed the item back to her and she put the rest in the box, smiling and breathing a sigh of relief that it was over.

Turning around, she found him still smiling at her, though it was not an amused one, no, it was one of wonder and curiosity, she couldn’t help but reciprocate it. Letting herself fully take him in, noting every scar and blemish, marks she couldn’t help but find beautiful.

He cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck before saying, “so. . . There’s a nice cafe in the city you might like?” Sheepishly.

She laughed quietly, her eyes lightening up, “of course, pick me up at four so I can get all this dirt and grass off me,” she kissed his cheek before grabbing the box and practically skipping away.

Yes he was quite annoying but he was even cuter. And that was all a male needed.

The End.

Note: short little Fic, I hope you enjoyed it. Oh and, happy spring!! 🫶

-Taglist

@azrielslittleslut

@shadowsingercassia

@cynthiesjmxazrielslover

@illyrianbitch

[meanbossart]

Hey! I was thinking of trying to write something for you about DU Drow but after a trying to gather stuff about him via your page I’m struggling to get something substantial for his personality- like I get it mostly (I think?) but it’s hard to put into words (which makes it easier for me) so if it’s not too much to ask; how would you explain DU Drows personality and maybe some of his values? - if you don’t mind! I love your art BTW!

Man, this is a tough ask and I MADE the guy. The fic is definitely the best place to see his personality in action, but it is also 20 chapters long so far - and I'm a fairly reasonable man.

Before I get to any descriptions, there's two important things to note: A) Overwhelmingly, his looks do not match his demeanor. and B) DU drow is extremely hedonistic in practice. He might claim to have certain beliefs or standards but hardly ever practices them.

Anyways, I present to you: The guy, more-or-less summarized to the best of my abilities.

BEHAVIOR: Purposefully standoffish. He wants to be noticed, but he does not want to be bothered. He's a little bit stiff with his body language and mostly makes use of head/neck gestures to assert his sentences and signal his level of interest. On that note, me makes it extremely obvious for the socially-versed individual to tell what he thinks of them - he hardly ever tries to hide if he's disinterested, annoyed, or having a laugh at your expense. He expresses emotion through his face a normal amount, but his default look is eerily bland, and subtle emotions might go unnoticed because of his eye-color and thin brows.

As it is with most people, the more uncomfortable he is with a situation the more stiff and inexpressive he becomes, and vice versa.

SPEECH: DU drow is very much well spoken, and simultaneously very blunt. He abides by most conversational formalities (definitely more formal than you would assume him to be) and basic etiquette. He will greet you and he will say please and thank you even if clearly not meaning it or feeling like you're unworthy of the gesture. Sometimes, he does it just to be patronizing.

With all of that in mind, he has a tendency to use violent turns of phrase and analogies to express himself, this applies to both negative and positive feelings. That being said he's aware of social norma and knows full well when things are or aren't appropriate, even if sometimes he chooses to ignore that and be weird anyway - usually with the purpose of intimidation.

He is the most earnest and sincere with very close friends (quite literally only Astarion and Shadowheart) and rather curt with everyone else unless you catch him in a particularly good mood. He's a little chummier with dwarves and duergar (he finds them amusing and fun to hang out with) and reserves a slight bit more tenderness and kindness for children and mothers, especially if they're elves. He's also fond of animals. He is dismissive of gnomes, goblins, bugbears, half/full orcs and hobgoblins. He despises githyanki and drow. He treats humans fairly respectfully but thinks they are a far lesser race than pretty much all others.

He has a very dark/offensive sense of humor and a tendency to make well crafted, but cruel jokes or quips about sensitive topics. This goes for everybody, including people he's on good terms with.

VALUES: Here's where things get tricky. DU drow is both a hypocrite and a unreliable narrator of his own story, not to mention deeply unfamiliar with his own inner-workings and feelings. Politically, he would be the guy who doesn't vote, doesn't want to pay taxes and dreams of living off the grid, who thinks everybody should pull themselves up by the bootstraps and that it's a dog-eats-dog world. He hates systems of government, authority figures, hierarchical structures and archaic customs. He believes it would a chaotic but functional world if people governed themselves.

In practice, he doesn't stand for anything and gladly overlooks injustices and things that don't align with his supposed values as long as they favor him, or just don't get in his way, and easily makes exceptions for things on a whim. He's indifferent to slavery; unless it's Astarion's. - He thinks humans are a worthless pet-race, except for his dearest and nearest friend, the half-elf Shadowheart. He thinks Half-orcs are intellectually inferior, but he will gladly be chummy with them if they amuse him and make for good-company during a night-out.

INNER WORLD AND INTIMACY: DU drow is extremely unfamiliar with his own emotions and very often comes up empty when he has to justify or explain anything that is based on feeling, while simultaneously operating on impulse and instinct for the vast majority of the time. He is subject to fear, resentment, and insecurity as much as anyone else, but carries a deep shame in acknowledging his own vulnerability at all. He is very intense when it comes to love, however, and shows no reluctance in expressing it through his words and actions towards the people he cares about. He does care for the levels of comfort of those dearest to him though, and doesn't bombard them with it unless the moment is right, or if overwhelmed into doing so. The same applies to physical affection - he's extremely comfortable with it, but cares deeply for respecting the boundaries of his loved ones. When it comes to strangers, he only touches them outside of combat if there is some kind of power-game at play.

A couple of other things that might be of note:

-He likes creature comforts, but is also fine with going without them and won't ever complain about having to live, sleep, or survive in less-than-ideal circumstances as long as he feels in control of the situation. -He can be enticed by valuables and gold because they make the immediate future easier, but he doesn't seek a life of vast riches. -He is not an alcoholic but probably has a binge-drinking problem. -While he is fond and respectful of animals, he has no issues killing them if the situation calls for it. -He pretty much always believes himself to be the most impressive person in the room. -He is not a vain man, but very much likes the way that he looks and to have it be acknowledged by his partner. -He believes faith, religion, and gods to be a waste of time.

[soupandsorcery]

Beaux wakes abruptly, mouth dry, heart in their throat. For a moment, they don't remember where they are, and it's...disorienting. Like being in a mental free fall that has their stomach swooping unpleasantly. The light is odd, which doesn't help. Shifting, rippling, blue-green and eerie. There's something there on the edges of their memory, like a half remembered dream. It wasn't a nightmare, they don't think. There's no gripping fear at the very least.

But there's something...

"Smells like apples and heat. Warm. Wet."

The rasping voice cuts through the bleary half consciousness, and it all comes back to Beaux in a rush. They're in their room at the Lighthouse in a rare moment of down time. And Lucanis—no, that voice is Spite's, isn't it—is standing over their bed.

"Shit," Beaux swears, rolling into a sitting position. Their instinct is to defend themselves, even though they're trying to keep an open mind where Spite is concerned. For Lucanis' sake, if nothing else. Leading by example, so the rest of the team will do the same. They don't reach for a weapon, so that can be compromise enough. "What are you doing in here?"

"Watching." Spite's eyes glow stronger in the dim light, casting their own shadows.

Right. Of course.

"Watching me sleep? That's a new level of creepy, even for you." They rub a hand over their face. "You have to let Lucanis sleep, Spite. And the rest of us too."

"He sleeps. And not interested in the rest," Spite says, leaning closer. "Only you."

Beaux frowns, and really, they're too tired for this conversation. "You're not making any sense right now. Can we do this in the morning?"

"No," Spite says sharply. "He won't let me talk to you in the morning. He's protective." He says it like it's a bad word. "Warns me to keep my distance. He's keeping distance for us both!"

"Can you blame him? Generally chatting with demons isn't the best idea."

"Wouldn't hurt you." Spite makes a face, offended. "Not you."

"I've seen you hurt Lucanis, and you're sharing his body. What makes me so special?"

In a flash, he's even closer, one knee up on the cushion, pressing right up into Beaux's personal space. There's really nowhere for Beaux to go, unless they want to jump over the back of the couch and end up on the floor, and they feel caught. Pinned. Staring into those glowing purple eyes, set into a face Beaux is coming to know pretty well these days.

But this isn't Lucanis. Lucanis never gets this close.

Sometimes...sometimes Beaux thinks he wants to. Thinks they can see him holding himself back with effort. But it's always on the fringes of their vision, and by the time they turn to look properly, Lucanis is back to his usual restrained self.

It's Lucanis' hand reaching up to touch Beaux's hair now, though. His fingers sifting through, rubbing the silvery strands like they're precious.

"Soft. Warm. Trembling," Spite purrs, and it's a low, deep sound that thrills something deep in Beaux's gut.

"I am not," Beaux breathes. Their heart is pounding in their chest, and they should be pushing Spite away. Should be waking Lucanis up so he can put an end to this.

Only...

Only.

Spite inhales deeply and closes more of the distance. "Want to keep you. Want to taste you."

"Oh. I—"

An annoyed look crosses Spite's face—Lucanis' face—and he pulls away suddenly, leaving Beaux struggling to remember how to breathe.

"He's trying to wake up. Bothersome. Cowardly."

"Be nice to him," Beaux whispers.

Spite says nothing, just turns and leaves as silently as he came, presumably so Lucanis will wake up somewhere else other than Beaux's room.

And Beaux lies awake for hours afterwards, absently touching their hair where Spite touched it, wondering at their lack of disgust for this whole thing.

[kiwi-astrology]

COMPOSITE OBSERVATIONS PT. 2

As a disclaimer: these are all my personal observations. Feel free to read them and critically think about them for your own benefit. I am not an astrology expert, but rather a passionate student! Alongside this: astrology should never be a tool to predict whether or not you should begin or end a relationship! Observations are reflective understandings of patterns. With that: Enjoy!

𖦹 I’m not exactly sure why, but I’ve noticed with 11th house mars in the composite the people get annoyed with each other? It’s like one person wants to share every detail of their life and the other feels drained. Energy is environment-dependent. If one person feels drained of their own energy, they don’t have the time to unconditionally make room for the connections energy. I’ve also found one person tends to be very community based and the other follows them around. I haven’t though much about this placement but so many observations of this share the same.

𖦹 Mars in 5th house composite connections find energy in adrenaline inducing subjects. From going out to bars together to talking about fun memories, excitement energies this connection. This placement will inspire the individuals to have fun in life and create beautiful things together.

𖦹 10th house composite stellium are very much public relationships. Everything you guys do together will be known. Depending on the relationship it could be positive or negative. A well-known business pair, famous couple, or popular friends. It will be difficult to keep the substance of the relationship private.

𖦹 4th house stellium relationships on the other hand are very private. This couple will do everything together from day to day routines to travelling for vacations and not tell anyone. This couple treats their relationship with an abundance of intimacy compared to other house stelliums. 

𖦹 Uranus in the 12th house composite could lead to sudden endings or abrupt changes. Out - of - control endings due to sporadic events occurring. 

𖦹 Venus in the 2nd house composite can show one person always taking care of another persons comfort needs. Getting water for someone. Giving someone spending money. Loaning an extra bathroom accessory. I’ve seen it be more one sided with a provider-receiver in the relationship. 

𖦹 This observation surprised me but I know a lot of mars in the 4th house composite connections and all the relationships are quite protective over one another. However, if one persons comfort is deeply disturbed by an external event, this can easily enter the relationships atmosphere. Mars energy in the 4th house is strong. It’s hard to ignore any feelings, thoughts, experiences, etc. It will force you to address everything occurring in the relationship, or else the relationship will suffer. There will never comfortably be any “elephants in the room” in these relationships. Its a good placement for people who prefer confrontation and addressing any issues. 

𖦹 Composite 1st house planets (especially the closer they are to the ascendant) will be on display for your relationship’s identity. For example: Venus in the first house composite, whether or not feelings are reciprocated: your relationship will be known for the love/romance/attraction that leaks out of it. Moon in the first house composite: your relationship will be known for its emotional reactions, for how it made people feel. Mercury in the first house composite: your relationship will be known for its friendliness and banter between the two of you. It’s not so much of a “legacy tenth house” but how your relationship is viewed at surface level. What people instantly think of when they think of it. It’s more superficial than the tenth house but still identity-driven amongst a community. 

𖦹 Libra mercury in the composite is all about sweet-talk and flirting. Kindness in conversation is necessary -- even if it’s forced. Once the flirting ends it can startle one of you. 

𖦹 Composite Venus in Aquarius must be top-tier because it’s the most popular placement I’ve noticed in my 30+ personal observations. 

𖦹 Composite mercury in 9th is very teacher-student oriented. One person always giving advice and guidance to the other person. A mentor-mentee relationship is present.

𖦹 For some reason my favorite composite ascendants to see are Cancer and Libra...not sure if this could relate to both of their 12th houses being mercurial (Gemini & Virgo). Maybe there is a comfortability with the curious and intellectual mercury signs in the 12th house for composites. An acceptance to always let the relationship change and grow without attachment but rather curiosity. The 12th house can be challenging to navigate in the natal chart let alone a composite chart. The subconscious things that isolate you. The endings you have to face. The spiritualty of the connection, that you will never understand. The questions that will never be answered. This stimulates mercurial signs in a healthy challenging way. 

[eddiegettingshot]

one thing also that i have seen recently that annoys me. in the vein of fanon eddie becoming an unrecognizable character. is the impulse to woobify him leading to this really odd mischaracterization of eddie as a person who is fundamentally disinterested in taking on a caregiving role but was forced into it and needs someone (buck) to take the reins so he can sit back and he doesn’t have to worry about taking care of anything anymore. and what i kind of hate about this is that it obscures the fact that eddie carries others and manages their emotions with such ease and so gladly that he’s able to use it as a defense mechanism to avoid his own problems—exactly like bobby (who’s never been leveled with the claim that he Doesn’t Actually Like Being Everyone’s Dad). at the very least eddie’s care for others is authentic and, i think, deeply fulfilling for him, but it’s complicated and twisted up by his lifelong parentification and trauma, which turns this thing that legitimately helps him self-actualize (being chris’s dad “taught him more about being a man than war ever did”) and is probably fundamental to his personhood into a cage he feels obligated to remain inside, just because he can, and if he can, then he should.

but the idea that eddie like. doesn’t want to have to make decisions anymore. or that he wants someone to just like manage everything for him. doesn’t make sense to me. what does make sense is the idea that what he wants—but doesn’t know he wants—is to provide and care and love in a way that’s freely given and accepted, without the shackles of (self-)imposed expectation, and without him feeling obligated to bear the entire world on his shoulders. there are sooooo many ways to woobify eddie without fucking with his character i wish we would do that more.

[elkian]

In Stars And Time (and its predecessor Start Again to a degree) did something really impressive in a video game: making a non-combatant child character not only likeable, but critical to the fabric of the story. Notably, the Kid is not a primary story character. They represent the common folk of the endangered fantasy land; someone whose home and family was taken by the Big Bad, leaving them stranded.

In the core party, we have the Housemaiden, blessed, immune to the worst status effect, bearing a unique elemental type, etc. It's actually very amusing that she is blatantly The Main Character of this story, because she isn't the POV character.

With her we have the Fighter, a good-hearted tank who worked as a Defender in the homeland of the first three; the Researcher, a foreigner traveling the land, who's book-smart and has a wide array of spells, the wizard type.

And then we have the POV character, Siffrin, a classic Improbably Good-Natured Wandering Rogue archetype. You know, the classic shifty thief-type and troublemaker who nonetheless aids the party without thought of reward and isn't actually a criminal despite the vibes? That kind of rogue.

The Kid isn't a playable character. They can contribute to combat, but it's randomized. The most you can do is equip them with gear and skills that affect the frequency of their input, and ask them to feed the party heals (and possibly feed the final boss a bomb).

What the Kid is, what they represent, is in many ways the emotional core of the party (as the party knows it; Siffrin might develop different ideas, but, notably, still cares deeply for the Kid's wellbeing).

The Kid provides snacks, which is partly about their heals-carrying role, but it has a broader application. Between each level in the main dungeon, there's a snack break with three options. As you play the game, looping over and over, choosing different snacks can be the most you can break out at times. Snacktime also creates a narrative and gameplay break, a time to chat with the party one-on-one.

The Kid is the moral support and backbone of the party; it's possible to tell this story without them, but it would, frankly speaking, be a less emotional, less interesting story, with lower stakes. The Kid is at risk when you fight; the adults team up and agree to protect them no matter the cost, and this is not a throwaway line. This has consequences. This creates texture.

Late in the game, Siffrin develops the option to do Party Member Personal Quests, and despite being a noncombatant, the Kid is one of them. All of these Quests are meaningful and important in their way, but the things we learn in the Kid's Quest are extremely important to understanding Siffrin. The other Quests have personal elements that Siffrin relates to, but this one is about him in a very specific way, that could not be fully replicated by mirroring the events referenced onto one of the adults. This Quest pans out the way it does because the Kid is a kid.

It's hard for me to put into exact words, especially when I don't want to spoil things, but there's even more specific details that make them important to the narrative progression, again, without being an "important" person in the context of the game world. By being important to Siffrin and the rest of the party, by having their narrative wound in with the others, the Kid is as integral to the story as any other character.

Kid characters like this in video games aren't often well-respected, and that tends to be for good reason - they tend to represent ludonarrative dissonance, be annoying, or be the product of overcompensation and have their importance rubbed into the player's face. Many of them could be extracted from the narrative without having a significant effect on the outcome, or would destroy the narrative because they're the focus character, borderline Morality Pets for protagonists. The Kid in ISAT and SA fascinates me, because I came to care about them in a very natural manner, not just because their personality and interactions are endearing, but because the way they and the other party members relate to each other has a tangible impact on the story and emotional core of the game.

[harryforvogue]

Lucia looks around the kitchen confused. Her tired eyes narrow in on one spot of the counter, but when she finds it empty, she whirls around to look at Harry sadly. He’s directly behind her, leaning against the opposite counter, raising his eyebrows in question.

“You didn’t make my coffee?” she asks quietly.

Harry, who is holding his own cup, says, “Have some water first.”

“So you did make it.”

“Have some water first.”

“And then you’ll make it afterwards?”

Lucía ignores this and instead flies over to the fridge, She opens it, sticking her head in to peer quickly. To his dismay, her coffee is still not waiting for her, and when she shuts the door, Harry has remained by the counter, eyebrows still raised, but now with a soft smile on his lips.

“You didn't make it at all,” Lucía accuses. 

Harry shrugs. “Maybe you’ll find out after you’ve had a glass of water. I can’t remember the last time I saw you drink some other than coffee, tea, and lemonade."

“You watch me way too closely.”

The smile widens. “I am entirely guilty of that, yes.”

Lucía feels her eyes on him as she looks through all the cabinets, the sink, the microwave, and even the dishwasher. It's way too early to be moving this much, but she has incentive!

She goes to leave the kitchen, but Harry stops her with a quick grab of a single curl from the back of her head. "Ow!"

"Stay here."

Harry finally pushes off the counter, setting his coffee down with a meaningful look, and then heads to the cabinet with all the glasses. He picks out the largest glass and then pours water (nearly to the brim!) from the filtered jug. Harry starts to walk it over to her, but stops himself when she gives him a frown. He doesn’t set it aside though.

Instead, he puts a straw in it and offers it to her. “See, now it’s fun,” Harry says, eyes twinkling. 

“Fun,” Lucía deadpans.

“Mhm. Go on. And then you get your coffee.”

“Which you still have to make.”

She takes the glass and with his now free hand, Harry twirls a strand of her curly hair around his fingers. “Do I, Luce?”

“Unless you’ve hid it in a very good spot,” Lucía says. 

"Drink."

Harry watches as she finishes all the water. Half way through, she discards the straw, realizing she’ll finish it quicker with large gulps instead. Once she’s done, she wipes her mouth, presses the glass back into Harry’s hands, and looks at him.

Just before he walks away with the glass, he absently wipes his thumb over the corner of her mouth to catch some residue, and then he murmurs, “Good. Thank you, baby.”

The coffee is hidden inside the air fryer directly in front of her. The cup sits there unbothered, slotted perfectly without any liquid needing to be jostled about. Harry removes the cup and presents it to her, grinning. Before she takes it, Harry removes it from her reach, holding it above his head making it impossible for her to grab.

She frowns deeply at him, crossing her arms in disapproval to show that she will not be jumping to grab it out of his hand. Harry takes a noisy sip from his own coffee.

Then, he leans down. “Give me a kiss.”

“No.”

He grins. “No?”

“No.”

“Okay.” He brings her coffee down to level and takes a sip. 

Lucía grows annoyed. Harry’s sips are equivalent to a normal person’s chug. “Stop! You don’t even like my coffee.”

Sure enough, Harry’s face is contorted with dislike. “It’s so strong.”

“Give it back.”

“Give me a kiss.”

“Give it to me first.”

"No."

"I demand you give it to me."

Harry takes another sip in response, shrugging. Again, another wince. He is committed though.

Beyond irritated, Lucía walks to him, places her hands on his stomach and leans up to kiss him. She feels his triumphant smile in their kiss, his warm lips taking hers as perfect as always. Though his hands are full, he loops his arm around her waist and pulls her close, bringing her along with him as he leans his back on the counter. After his shower, he’s left his hair loose, so the damp curls tickle the sides of her face, and his eyelashes (too long for a regular human) brush her cheeks.

When he pulls away, he looks satisfied. “Thank you,” he repeats, bringing her coffee to her. "Was that so hard? You'd think it's a chore to kiss your own boyfriend good morning."

She takes it before he can change his mind. Instead of holding onto her annoyance, she turns around and slots herself between his arms, leaning against his strong frame as she takes a sip and melts into him. Harry’s arms are immediately around her, his chin on her shoulder.

“I cannot believe you would think I made my own coffee but not yours,” he murmurs, turning his head to kiss her cheek. The singular one doesn’t seem to be enough, and soon he descends into a pattern, repeatedly kissing her cheek and jaw, all ranging in intensity and force. 

“I didn’t really believe it.” Lucía tilts her head the other way to bare her neck so that he can continue down. Though it tickles, she steels her nerves and continues to drink her coffee. After a few kisses to her now naked shoulder, her shirt neckline pulled down, she giggles.

“I love you,” Harry murmurs, lips behind her ear. Then he squeezes her so tight to his chest, she whines, trying to elbow him off. He does not relent. “My baby. Would you stop trying to get away from me?"

[thelovelywriteress]

➷ With Zodiac Cursed Reader (2)

▶︎sᴀᴋᴜʀᴀ xғ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

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────────────────────────────╰┈➤ Sakura accidentally find your secret and now is unknowingly close to you due that that secret. (Part1)

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You weren't able to find Sakura before ask day when he enter the Kotoha's cafe and you immediately cornered him: making sure he didn't say the word of what he saw yesterday.

"So that wasn't a dream?" He said with a blank face that you always fall in dramatic manner.

So he even believe what he saw yesterday? What a boy. . .

Well you simply ask him to keep your situation quite and walk away from him while he in return ask you to make sure it's only him hiding your secret. You pout and walk away, almost bumping into a male customer while Sakura wondered how you even manage to hide it for so long.

Sitting at that particular corner of Kotoha's cafe, you wonder about how these days you seems to be getting more and more in trouble that may end up revealing your secret.

While you were in your thought, Kotoha brought your order and ask you about your interaction with Sakura earlier.

"Never thought I would see most anti-people kids talking to each other. You both go anything between you?"

"I am not anti-social. And about your other statement it's wrong too!"

"Don't sweat much, I was just teasing you but Sakura is a good boy. He may act tough but if you would go to him for help, he would never reject you."

You did think about Kotoha's last statement very deeply. You do need atleast one person if you do not want to reveal your secret on mass level.

While Sakura was walking around, you pulled him in a dark ally from his arm. He throw a punch that you avoided and was in fighting posture before he recognised your face.

"Oh it's you." He sounded disappointed,"I heard you at once. My mouth is seal, no need to abduct me."

". . .Do you think you can help me to make my secret a secret." You said in a low tone that Sakura catch quickly and brought his all focus on you,"I need someone to accompany me. I. . .I did let out my secret before but thankfully he also thought it was some dream but I don't know if next person to find my secret would think same."

"So you want me as your bodyguard?"

"Oh yeah, it's good way to put it. I am hiring you!" You exclaimed with arrogance as Sakura throw you a annoyed expression.

Long way, short. You both have officially emerged into each other's life. You don't consider yourselves 'friends' but you guys were pretty cilivised with each other. This made Kotoha almost teasing you daily about it.

"Oh well, my anti-people ship sailed. I knew from the first day." She said like a proud mother.

"What the heck is anti-people ship anyways?!" You both yelled at her with red hues on your face.

"Like the hell I would like this prick." Sakura crossed his arm and turn away while you clutched your fist that was tempting to hit his head.

Verbally you would agree with Sakura but emotionally you would little flustered to know you guys were shipped (even if that ship had a werid name).

Before you realised, you have been crushing on Sakura and unconsciously tried to spend more time with him. You ask him to accompany you on random places, saying you got some work there when in truth you just wanted to enjoy his presence.

You didn't realised that you were of that type, who chooses their crushes over themselves. Well not until today where you're head feel like spinning but since you ask Sakura to visit market with you, you're ready to ignore that throbbing feeling in your head.

Despite how you were feeling, you still choose to come. You made your presence known to him and at first glance he seems to know something was wrong with you. He enquired you about it but you just brush it off as summer heat. You thought once you're with him it will eventually go away.

You were wrong! If anything it has become worst and you feel like burning too. Ahh, you wonder why didn't you cancelled the meet up. It's like he would have care anyways, he's so idiot: idiot for noticing your affection towards him. And before you know you black out.

You slowly opened your eyes and started to observe surrounding around you. It was an unfamiliar surrounding. You were almost worried before you heard a familiar voice.

"So you're wake finally?" Sakura come in your view. His head little tilted, so to level your eye level.

"Didn't know you transform while backing out too." He comment while he sit back straight. Unlike now you didn't notice that you had transformed.

You sit and swing your face like an animal brushing off dust themselves. Something Sakura compared your movement too.

"When I am exhausted or not well my body transforms then too." You corrected his assumptions.

Sakura notice how you still look out of breath and speak out the question, he is wondering whole time,"Why did you lie? I knew at first glance something was wrong." You feel like targeted and almost let out confused words,"I-I think-thought it would go and I-I can handle, no want I am fine. But I would b-be." Your mind wasn't functioning properly.

Sakura notice it and just put a hand to your head, making you lay back,"Just rest quietly for now." He said and turn his head away.

It was at time moment when his hand touched your forehead, you feel little better and you transform back to your human form.

Sakura bring his gaze back to where his hand was and almost wake the town with his scream. He was fine when you were (animal), he can't handle your human self, not especially when his sheets are only thing covering you.

He quickly search for your clothes he picked earlier when you turn into your animal form and ask you to put them while he walk out.

You wondered where was he going. You liked the feeling of his hand earlier and you don't feel like wearing clothes for today. You dozed off again.

You wake again, calling the name of Sakura, he appear again in you though he didn't dare to look directly at you. You without care sir up straight as Sakura's face almost exploded. Now it was even more clear you were naked.

"Sakura. Sakura." You repeatedly called his name as with a hand on side of his face, hiding you, he question the reason you were saying his name like parrot.

"Come here for once. I feel like my temperature is getting worst." Hearing this Sakura reluctantly started to come near you. His whole situation may be embarassing but your health is still his top priority.

How much he regret agreeing with you cause moment he was enough near around you, you jumped in his chest.

"What-!" And before he could exploded due to your action, you already transformed into your animal. You told him to take you in his arms and come with you at your home. You get better medicine there.

Holding (animal) in arm, Sakura walk on the way you guide him. Unlucky for him he bumped into Neirei, who obviously question him about animal and where he was talking it.

"I know a vet near by." Neirei offered with pure intentions.

"It's someone pet." Sakura lied quite smoothly,"Oh ok-Sakura-san is that girl's clothes?" Neirei exclaimed as Sakura's cheek also flare up,"T-The pet r-run away with c-clothes." He lied through his flustered state and run out.

He didn't stop before he reached your house. You did bad for getting tangle with you, heck you always feel bad for everyone who gets involved with you. And for some reason "always feel bad for everyone" feeling get too much today that you started to ramble it to Sakura out of all people.

"You don't need to. I may don't want to catch in this mess but if I was given choice, then I would be involved with you again and again." Sakura state with a serious but sincere tone.

"B-But I always get too much. I order people around and act so arrogant."

"That's true."

On your second statement Sakura agreed nonchalantly and you kicked his head with angry expression. He is truly a idiot. He was supposed to comfort you like mc of shojo manga you read sometime before.

"Weren't you sick!?" He questioned as you keep biting his head to express your angry.

You didn't say anything and even bite his head harder, making him let out a 'ouch'. Sakura didn't know why was he suffering for being honest but in some sense he does think it wasn't right moment to be honest so he tried to manipulate his statement a bit.

"I was just being honest. That's real you. The you I like."

Sakura was being totally platonic. He would even punch himself if he realised his wording but for now he just wants to you stop biting his head to death.

He didn't realised his wording but you did. You stop with dreamy look in your eyes. That same moment Suo and Nirei weakly open your door, calling for you and was also left in shock by the scene in front them.

"He said he liked me." There was you, naked on Sakura's back with blushing and dreamy face,"Put some god damn clothes!" Sakura ordered with his eyes shut closed but his face rising with colour red.

"Let's go Nirei. We are distrubing Sakura-kun." Suo put a hand on blond boy's shoulder and started to walk away.

Sakura notice him and started to quickly move towards him while Nirei remind him about your cloth-less figure on his back.

While everything was in choas all you can think in your sickly state is that boy you crushed over told you he liked you.

"Hehe."

"What the hell you giggling for?"

"(N-Name)-san is about to black out!"

"Let Sakura-kun be worried about it Nirei."

"SHUT UP!"

"He liked me."

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honestly part two isn't like i imagined but it was still fun! Honestly sorry if it wasn't much good like I said in first part, I honestly lost some motivation mid way but hey atleast it's completed now. Haha that was some fun writing.☁️🏂

Also this @systemix girl was one of my biggest motivation. Like you don't know how much her headcannons motivate me to complete part two fast. And girl you need to make your own headcannon post with wind breaker boys with zodiac cursed reader fast! Us readers & fans would definitely like it! 🙏🌬️

Well then everyone take care and don't forget to eat your meals<3

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[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

In Defense Of Ceroba

Even though I'm still probably the biggest Starlo apologist you've seen, I wanna talk about Ceroba today. Particularly, my initial and current thoughts on her (but also why she works as a deeply flawed and tragic character).

Anyway, here we go.

Ceroba wasn't a character I liked at first. It wasn't dislike or hatred I felt for her, but rather... not much, if anything. She simply didn't catch my attention like Starlo did, with his larger-than-life personality. Ceroba wasn't like that. She wasn't in the spotlight, she seemed calm and level-headed, sarcastic and easily annoyed with the Five's nonsense, but also kinda just.... there, in contrast to the more 'cartoonish' Starlo.

you can clearly see who the goofy one is

Heck, I was so focused on NOT wanting to get to know and understand Ceroba that I payed little to no attention to her, even in the Steamworks, which was her section as well as Axis'. I completely forgot about the talk option too, so I missed on a lot during my first playthrough. I didn't even laugh at her sarcastic comebacks (that I find funny now, as you can see in my post titled 'Ceroba's sarcasm is growing on me').

And when I found out Ceroba injected Kanako... let's just say she became my least favorite character. I didn't understand why she had done it. It seemed like a poor writing choice not to have Kanako get her paws on the serum and inject herself. Ceroba actively going against her husband's last wish and being the cause of her kid falling down left a bad taste in my mouth.

Only later did I finally put the pieces together.

Ceroba was depressed. Like, really REALLY depressed. So depressed, in fact, that she became blunt with her choice of words when it came to the Starlo situation and unaware of his troubles/the fact he was trying to help her out of the rut. Ceroba was clearly way harsher towards him than she used to be before all the tragedy struck (but said she was sorry)

Starlo describes her as compassionate and hard-working (and they've been friends for a long time, so he must know). Or at least, that was who she was before all the sadness turned her into a shell of her former self.

Now, Chujin... oh, Chujin.

Chujin meant a lot to Ceroba and that is very clear. From her blindly following his legacy even after his death, to accepting to kill Clover (someone she had grown to respect) with tears in her eyes.

If you ask me, it wasn't Ceroba's cold, sarcastic, gloomy heart that destroyed her. Quite the opposite. It was love. More specifically, her love for Chujin.

I would, without an ounce of doubt, call this fox romantic and emotional. Someone who loves hard and deep. Someone who trusted him, her love, so blindly that she never suspected Chujin was up to anything suspicious. And when he was stripped away from her, it hurt so much. She even blamed herself for not noticing. It's sad.

So... why inject Kanako, something Chujin didn't want her to do? Simple. Because of her major character flaw: stubbornness.

See, Ceroba had refused at first. But the line that got her to change her mind was this:

Ceroba, still in emotional distress and not thinking clearly (much like Starlo), trusted her heart and not her head. And her heart was telling her that Chujin, wherever his soul was, would be proud of her for fulfilling his dream. Making his legacy come true. Saving monsterkind was a bonus, but I believe the main, true motivation here was honoring Chujin and what he wanted to accomplish for monsterkind. And so, instead of focusing on remaining a good parent to her only child, Ceroba chose her husband. She chose something greater that he believed in.

Ceroba loves Kanako, don't get me wrong. She remembers how Kanako and Starlo would watch westerns together, how Kanako would play with brick toys when she was younger, she says how her love for her could be enough to shatter the barrier. She'd tuck her in every night. She promised she'd be safe during the extraction. The two hugged tight and said 'I love you.' All signs point towards Kanako receiving a lot of love from her mother. She even made a drawing of the three of them, and this picture on the right says it all:

Chujin, too, loved his daughter, and I believe this love for her was more prominent before the attack (he even gave her the chance to play video games in her room, how cool is that?). He, too, like Ceroba, prioritzed the wrong things. Instead of making sure Kanako was alright, he made Axis chase after the human and didn't stay to comfort her. He was so focused on the prejudice towards humans (he believed Integrity would have 'continued the crusade' and it hadn't just been fear or self-defense that made them attack) that he forgot that the safety of his child and helping Dalv was far more important.

But Chujin... Ceroba can't even look at her own daughter without being reminded of him:

Ceroba talks about Chujin a lot.

Even though Ceroba messed up badly by injecting Kanako, not paying more attention to what Chujin had been doing, manipulating Clover and the Feisty Five, wanting to kill Clover so she'd save Kanako and monsterkind (notice how she is so blinded that, even as she talks about Kanako, it seems like she sees her as a tool for finishing what Chujin wanted, ACCORDING TO CEROBA. In reality, the man just wanted Kanako to be happy and for her to stay out of all this),

and almost killing Starlo and Martlet, she acknowledged her situation and later admitted that she was wrong. The reason Clover hugged her and forgave her easily was because Clover is like that. Completely altruistic. Starlo and Martlet are sweethearts, too. All three have good hearts and lots of empathy and understanding. And, me, personally? Instead of it putting me off...

...I find it admirable.

[ficnoire2]

A Little Legendborn/Bloodmarked

Top 10 Selwyn Kane Moments

Happy Gemini Season!  What better time to reflect on my favorite chaotic, angsty, and delightfully poetic Cambion.  Sel has given us so many moments that either made us want to ask “Who the F@$K you talking to?”, want to give him an all encompassing full bodied squeeze, or left our jaws on the floor at his assholery or reverent sweetness.  Whatever the case, Selly knows how to make an entrance and leave an impression.  There are so many Selwyn Kane moments that live rent free while hiking up the thermostat in my mind, but here are my top 10.  Hope you enjoy!

10. Weirdo in The Woods 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.  A wry voice from behind startles me and sends a few birds, hidden in the canopy above, squawking into the sky.  I hadn’t seen anyone approach through the underbrush, but a tall, dark-haired  boy leans casually against the tree as if he’d been there the whole time; arms over his chest and black combat boots crossed at the ankles.”

When I read this scene, I could not believe the level of nerve and confidence this dude had.  The lurking in the darkness was creepy as hell and then he upped the ante by putting his pale paws on Bree!  I thought “Why the fuck is he touching her!?”  I had to reread to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating.  Not only did he have a smart ass, arrogant vibe, but getting handsy to boot?  We would have been rolling around in the woods… and I don’t mean the fun way. 

9. Dripping Wet at The Door

“Half a second after that I’m struck thoughtless-because Sel flings the door open wearing nothing but a deeply annoyed expression and a pair of low-slung jeans.  I can’t help but follow the banded muscles from his abdomen to his chest.  Intricate black and gray tattoos encircle his arms, cover his shoulders, and connect in a Celtic knot on his breastbone.”

This delightful turning point had me squealing with antici…pation.  Tracy’s got some nerve really.  I remember being this age, and having an angsty, beautiful, asshole fling open the door half naked would have been a problem.  This was the point where Sel begins to soften for Bree.  The point where the two of them set off on a journey of personal discovery and develop a deeply intimate bond. They share a moment of realization about their mothers and how parallel that loss runs, about Nick, and about their own relationship.  I loved this moment so much because their masks begin to slip ever so slightly.  Bree being able to recognize the grief in Sel that she had become accustomed to, was beautifully written.  It gave us a bit of depth into his inner chaos and the pain that drives him.

8. The Gala/Kneel

“He admires my hair, taking in the size and shape of it, then his eyes follow the line of my temple to my borrowed earrings, down my neck and shoulders.  ‘You look stunning this evening Briana, it’s the truth,’ he says with a shrug.  ‘You do.  Even Though you’re distraught’.”  

“I’m not distraught.”

“He leans down so close that his lips brush against my ear when he whispers, ‘Liar’.”

This moment was so delicious. First, the way Sel takes her into his senses is divine.  His attention to detail in everything he does, whether in his detective work or being a silver-tongued devil, encompasses a space.  The act of admiring Bree’s appearance, covering every inch of her face and hair was top notch adoration. The two of them dancing at the gala was playful and intimate. I mean, telling someone you can smell their magic is…next level.  Bree was tuned into his very essence and he responded in kind, whispering LIAR in her ear as his lips brushed the delicate flesh, splaying his hands across her back knowing the heat from them radiated   through her gown.  Admiring all that she was becoming to him. Not to mention turning her around to face Nick while holding her at the hips, and whispering in her ear as he stewed across the room. It wouldn’t be right if he didn’t put a little Selly in it.

“I fight against Arthur’s will, but he will not yield-not on this.  He demands obeisance.  Homage. And deference.  Especially after Davis’ public betrayal.  Thankfully, no one moves.  Then someone does."

"No," I whisper, because I don’t want to hear it.  But when Sel speaks, his voice is strong and clear.

"Y llinach yw’r ddeddf."

"The Line is Law.”

In the Ogof we get another glimpse of what makes Sel tick. The fact that he is so married to the idea of honor and procedure (to a fault) shines in these moments because of what he is constantly willing to do to show his care for Bree. It is telling when he witnesses Bree pull Excalibur and he falls right in step with his duty to his King.  When he is the one to kneel and speak before her, it is because of duty and procedure yes, but his devotion for her leaps off the page.  

7. Mother

“Suddenly, Sel is on his feet. He paces to the end of the room, the back of his hand pressed hard against his mouth like doesn’t trust what could come out of himself.  It takes everything in me to stay seated when he kicks his closet door and the wood splinters into a boot shaped hole.”

On the heels of coming to the door half naked, we begin to see some of Sel’s inner turmoil made real.  Unpacking this a bit, we know Sel has been lied to and we are watching in real time how it hits him.  He is dutiful, procedural, and used to being in control in some respect.  He seems to enjoy the fact that he is needed, deep down, he wants to be wanted, not out of duty, but out of sheer enjoyment of his company, his being.  This revelation about his mother causes his mask to slip.  The hard exterior cracks enough that Bree is able to seep into the jagged edges, and he lets her, if only briefly.  This was such a revealing moment because it is one of many instances that they see not only each other, but also themselves mirrored in one another.

6. Cariad

“I feel Sel’s attention on my cheeks-and wonder when the sparks in his eyes had become a comforting heat…’You are my king now, cariad.’ His voice carries all the intimacy of a caress and his eyes are a melted gold.  I turn away, overwhelmed at the meaning in both.”

I don’t know why I didn’t have sense enough to Google what cariad meant at the time I first read Legendborn.  Perhaps it was because Tracy blew my wig back with the story of Briana Irene, that I needed a moment to collect my thoughts.  This was the point in the story that Selwyn vocalized his feelings for Bree.  It was another peak at the vulnerability he would ever so slightly let come out to play.  And because our Selwyn is precise, his intent (in my opinion) was also.  He has studied Bree, yet she still mystifies him, challenges him.  Calling her cariad, however, was laced with a bit of challenge in and of itself.  He knows she is determined and inquisitive and if she really wanted to know she would do what needed to be done to find out.  We also get that at that moment she was not ready to know, despite her curiosity.  It was just enough of a breadcrumb for her to follow, if SHE chose to.  Also, his sense of duty and willingness to accept her as King even when the order so readily wanted her gone when she did not serve their purpose or fit their shitty standards.  It was such a sweet, quiet moment after all they had been through that left us hanging onto that balcony for dear life. 

5. The Not So Safe, Safe House Bathroom

“Can I tell you a secret, Briana?” His voice slips into the sliver of air between us, silk and heat. “ I like hearing the way people respond to me.  A pause. You in particular.”  

“It’s involuntary.”

“Oh, I know.” His mouth quirks…..Sel’s amusement skips across my cheeks.  “See something you like?”

First of all, telling someone, ANYONE, that you like hearing the way people respond to you is full on iconic, sex demon realness.  Excuse me, sir?  You just walk around doing shit to tie folks up in flustered knots? Kick your combat booted feet up and watch your handiwork?   And you like it?  My kind of fun!  The way Joniece Abbott Pratt (she voices our favesl in the books) reads this scene is so deliciously spicy and devilish.  She put an extra bit of Sazon on it.  It was the closeness for me.  He knew what he was doing (aside from mesmering Bree to oblivion) , caging her between his arms and enveloping her in full on Cambion heat.  It is almost as if the tease is more fun.  Taking off his shirt to pull her in. Catching her gaze in the mirror.  Acting like he can’t put tape on his wounds (because of course a dude who can forge shit out of thin air can’t operate tape!), telling her he likes how her body is responding, asking her if she sees something she likes!  Bree has the resolve of a bug that hangs onto your windshield while you are doing 90 on the freeway. 

4. Sel’s Birthday Surprise (Cariad Part Two)

“Okay.  All right.  His voice is low and soothing.  He takes a slow step closer with an outreached hand, as if waiting for me to bolt.  “This isn’t an interrogation.  I am sorry.  It is your birthday.  And I had questions…but I don’t want you to leave.” His fingers wrap around mine, and he rubs a slow circle across my palm with his thumb."  

 I nod.  “Okay.” 

“Let’s keep this simple?” He smiles softly.  “Tell me what you learned about cariad?”  

Talk about a full circle moment.  For damn near two books, this man has been stewing about cariad and why Bree had not mentioned it again.  After being attacked by Jonas, and Bree begins to speak a bit of Welsh to William, I could almost envision Sel saying “Yeah, you over here practicing with William, but what about that cariad shit though?”  Ok, I know he wouldn’t have said it that way, but sometimes I read with my own voice in my head.  First of all, the planning.  The fact that he discovered a hidden gem in the woods with fireflies no less, and decided to make it a present (not a gift) to honor Bree’s birthday was delightful.  Plus being in the woods seems to be his happy place.   It was full circle in more ways than one because when we meet Sel (in the woods yet again) he is the epitome of ASSHOLE. This scene showed us how far the two of them had come and let us see that he truly values how Bree sees him and how much he wants her to have joy.  It seems like everytime these two are in the woods they have some sort of revelation.  The way he teases kisses on each cheek, then her forehead (third eye) showed us that he was done hiding and wanted her to fully understand the depth of his feelings.  And when she takes the kiss she wants, he responds in kind letting himself have the wish he has been denying himself by Merlin twirling her into the tree bark and KISSING HER DOWN!  Then, not only does he stop himself, but stops to watch the effect he is having on her, while telling her he likes it.  Damn you Selwyn Kane!  

3. Sharing Root With Bree/Most Gifted Merlin in a Generation

“Sel gasps, head thrown back as my aether climbs up his forearms, spiraling around his elbows.  For a moment, it feels like I’m wrapped around him.  His eyes snap open, and then he’s on his feet, bringing his hands together so the flames spread faster.  FWOOOM!  We explode together.”

I was shouting in my car listening to this scene.  Sel had been manacled by Erebus (to Valec’s amusement).  I remember thinking “Ain’t no way they are going out like this!” This was an edge of your seat, shout at the screen, moment.  The way he was in sync with Bree and knew exactly what to do when she shared her root was the boost I needed in that moment.  Sel was back like he never left!  Hair all shiny and shit!  The unspoken communication, the desperation in his eyes when he thought it wasn’t working was equal parts nerve wracking and rage inducing.  Plus, the whole scene was infused with a hint of sexy Cambion tension.  That last line is a double entendre if you ask me.  What better way to explode together than to blow Erebus’ ass back into the opportunistic shadows from whence he came?

“I’m not gonna….”

“Yes, you are!”  The muscles work in his jaw.  His eyes shine-he blinks it away.  “You are.  You just have to hold on a little longer, Bree.  For me–”  His eyes are fixed on my side, a strained grimace on his face.  His hands hover an inch above my flesh.  Aether shimmers in the space between my body and his palms in a thin layer.”

“Don’t move,” he grits out.”

“What are you…”

“I’ve got you.  Stay with me.”

“The floating dullness claims me again, but Sel’s magic is there on the edges, keeping the darkness at bay.”

“Stay with me, Bree.”

On the coattails of the high I felt when Sel and Bree took Erebus out of the game (if only temporarily), was the accompaniment of Sel holding Bree together for three hours when she was nearly killed by demons in the woods.  I tell you, Tracy knows how to make you feel the discomfort and pain of constant loss.  No sooner than I cheered for the two of them, before I knew it I was biting my nails again.  The terror he feels here is palpable.  Nick has just run away from both of them.  He has just done the seemingly impossible and made a root bomb (untrained move) with Bree to stave off Erebus.  Now he is at the threshold of loss yet again.  I can’t imagine having all of that occur in the span of 30 minutes.  Not only that, he creates tiny aether constructs to serve as medical aid for Bree not knowing how long he can maintain it while pushing down the hurt and fear.  Even Valec thought she was not savable.  Thought only to be able to use his aether for violence, it was beautiful to see Sel use his aether to sustain life.  It really hints at how special his abilities are and how much about himself outside of the order’s grip he doesn’t know.  When he says, “I’ve got you” and “Stay with me,” I had to step away from the book for a hot lil minute. 

2. No Other Merlin 

“No other Merlin can protect you like I can, because no other Merlin feels about you the way I do.  I want you to live, because I want you to be happy.  Not because of a spell, but because so very many things would break and go dark if you weren’t in the world.  Myself included.”

Can we talk about how down bad Selly is here?  Like, the boy is threw! I say “Gah damn!” everytime I read and/or listen to these words. He let her know, “Ain’t nobody got you like I got you!”  Something about the most powerful and gifted Merlin of his generation saying he would break and go dark if Bree was not in the world.  Sheesh! It’s the kind of soul-bearing that makes you sit up straight.  Have you rethinking your whole approach to life.  That is a far cry from questioning how she managed to keep ending up in his path.  A far cry from trying to wipe her off the face of the earth!  I love this scene because at this point we are seeing the power and effect of experiencing softness, love, care.  Being touched and him letting the wave of vulnerability settle in.  The willingness to lay himself bare in front of her despite his many fuck ups.  He told her, I want you to be happy even if I am not the one, just as long as you are here.  Tracy certainly wrote him hella mannish! But in all seriousness, this was a bar.  Had that man pouring out his soul in the middle of the woods.

1. Worth This and More 

“Merlin crawls on hands and knees.  ‘Just know Briana Matthews,’ he says, ‘That you are worth this and more.’ Without a second’s hesitation, he pulls me close enough that we nearly kiss-and inhales my power into his body.  Devours it whole.”

This scene hit me right in the gut for so many reasons.  It was the culmination of all that Selwyn had learned, endured, and sacrificed…for Bree.  Despite how much he had risked throughout Bloodmarked, he was still ready and willing to risk even more for her.  Pure veneration and sacrifice just for her.  In the Ogof, he kneeled to Bree and here he crawls to her, spent, and wants her to know that even at this moment he would do it again without question.  The poetry in how he approaches her.  The juxtaposition of kissing her in the woods and losing himself to that moment (even though briefly), giving in to that bit of euphoria and vulnerability, to losing himself as we know him totally, by devouring her root.  Because he knew the cost of that act and did it anyway, nearly did me in!  Tracy wrote the hell out of that and it is one of the chapters I have a hard time going back to.  Something about reaching a point of seemingly no return and pushing forward against all odds because you love the person before you so deeply. 

 No other Merlin indeed. 

What’d you think? I think I kicked Gemini season off right!  What are your favorite Selwyn Kane moments? What lives rent free in your head?  I am so excited that there are two more books to look forward to.  For me, those are more opportunities to talk my shit! 

Also, in case you missed it, here are my Top 10 Briana Matthews Moments

Happy Gemini Season Y'all!!!!

[racketballz]

Hope u don't mind another perspective about the spit scene, but I actually saw the reddit comment that kickstarted this discussion. It was a deeply annoying argument (that was left on a post about aku/bloss of all things??) to the point I actually left a long reply before thinking better of it n just deleting and blocking

Just for reference, in response to someone disagreeing, they asserted something along the lines of "He's still holding her down and violating her using fluid from his body, it's WEIRD that you're ignoring that just to ship them" and that level of stretching words just. Did not signal a productive conversation to come

I really feel like people want to overcorrect for the early portrayal of the boys by the fandom (made up of mostly children, who obviously would not have known how to write a character) by like... treating them as adult men almost? It's super weird because they always end up using extremely specific, modern types of adult misogynist (like cryptobros or Andrew Tate) to illustrate their point regardless of how little sense it makes for their canon personalities

I also think people conveniently forget what kind of show they're watching sometimes because PPG is still like, a kid's cartoon where the MC's have superpowers. Everything the girls do are normal kid activities cranked to 11 because they're superhuman, and when I look at it from that lens then the boys' episodes really don't strike me as very sinister largely bc they're all just kids on an even playing field (obviously the dynamic was really lopsided for most of TBABIT, but even then I mean. We already discussed how the girls retaliated)

Idk maybe I'm biased but it's kind of obvious that the boys are super archetypal snot-nosed, sexist brats and ime, characters like that pretty much always grew out of it. Like if the girls could destroy the entire town for no good reason more than once, Harry Pitt could pull what he did in the cooties episode, and Mitch could torture a hamster without being considered monsters for it, then realistically there's ample hope left for the RRB (and even if there wasn't, I don't think just projecting the worst guy anyone has ever met onto them is guaranteed to fit their characters, but I digress)

Also to be real I don't think people take the boys' actions as seriously as they make it sound a lot of the time. Like if we're going by their logic, then it should also be questionable to portray them as friends or close siblings to the girls, but I've never seen pushback against this idea off the basis that the boys have hurt them too badly in the past. It's pretty much always leveraged against ship content, which makes me think concern about the boys' characters aren't what's actually driving this criticism, but that's just me

1000000% brother this is not my first rodeo I had a feeling thats what was happening. To demonize a ship to uplift their own favorite ship people will pull out anything and everything to misconstrue the shows intention