#it also makes it pretty cool but i have no faith in myself to be able to keep that across translation 😔 i will try

[red-dyed-sarumane]

looking at vuvuzela's lyrics like oh yeah i forgot how much u like word play to the point its difficult

[gothwineaunts]

Wow, hello!

So, I was actually feeling pretty motivated to write this post yesterday. But things have gotten exponentially worse, and I admit the pressure is getting to me. There seem to be a ton of expectations surrounding what I should be saying here, in order to… I guess, absolve myself? As if there’s a checklist people want me to go through to perform the “perfect” creator apology. But, I don’t see the point. I care a lot about this community and I think you deserve something a lot more sincere than some hollow chat-gpt apology. I understand that that’s foolish, on my part. Things are done that way so often because they work. But what you’ll find throughout this post, is that I’m kind of an idiot about some things. I’m stubborn and hard-headed and a little bit pretentious. And so, what I’m planning to do here is to simply tell you the truth about what happened. No cherry picking. All my mistakes, but also the context that goes with them. And at the end, my formal apology. This is a long and winding tale with a lot of characters. I’m going to be sharing some usernames as we go, in the interest of clarity and transparency. You’ll understand why with the context. But please do not seek these people out. Don’t pick fights with them. It will only make everything worse, for all involved.

Cool? Cool. But first I need to address the elephant in the room. This will probably seem like irrelevant drama at first, but this is the nuance and background that I wasn’t adequately able to articulate the night before last. In more ways than one, this is a story told in twos. The first set of twos is you, the readers. Who you are, and what you’re hoping to find out in this post.

1.      The overwhelming majority of you, are earnestly wanting to understand what has happened in the Nevermore Discord. You are concerned that I am not who you hoped I was. You are disappointed, and I understand why. To you, I am so sorry. I want to say that things are not as bad as they seem, but that is not for me to decide. You will need to draw your own conclusions from the words I write. And I understand, whatever you choose to do next.

2.      And there is a small, but incredibly vocal minority of people who are absolutely living for this. They are spreading complete fabrications with no screenshots to speak of. Horrible, horrible accusations. People who are more excited about watching a dumpsterfire than they are about the series that brought them here in the first place. I’m not going to attempt to cater to those people in this post. Because nothing will ever be good enough. Everything that can be taken in bad faith will be taken in bad faith. It would be pointless. But you’ll see them in the comments and reblogs. This is a known group to not only myself, but many others. I will share some of their names in a later section so you know who to watch for. They will make a lot of noise around this post because they’ve been trying to make something like this happen for actual years. And now that I had a genuinely concerning response that good people reasonably want me to explain, they’re lunging at the chance to throw absolutely anything at the wall. It’s parasocial levels of hatred. This is some deep and horrible lore.

The next set of twos is how two things can be true at the same time. And that is exactly what is going on here, in this situation. Let me be really clear, because I don’t want either truth to be lost in my explanation as they are intrinsically linked to one another.

1.      I did a downright terrible job explaining myself in the Discord when people started asking about crimson. I can give you all kinds of contributing factors for this, and I might later. But none of them really matter. It was incredibly careless of me to use “egging them on” and “cried wolf”  to describe what I understood. At the time I was really laser-focused on expressing what happened as simply and quickly as possible because the channel replies were paused and I felt like everyone was just waiting for me to be finished with my message. But after stepping back, I immediately understood how badly I messed up, because of course these idioms are routinely weaponized against survivors of SA and CSA. That is not how I intended to use them. It was an unfortunate case of one thing looking and sounding like another thing. Incredibly ham-fisted and irresponsible on my part. To the survivors who read my words and felt that it echoed their past experiences, I’m heartbroken that I did that to you. That lapse of judgement was a betrayal to both you and me. I don’t know where my head went, and I’m just blown away by my own lack of awareness in that message. So for that I am and will continue to be sorry.

2.      The second thing that can be true is that, while you are all absolutely owed an explanation and an apology, there are also some people amongst you who are using this fuck-up on my part as a springboard to take me down.  These people have been trying to get a call out post to pop off about me for at least a year, and they have been very quick to jump into the reblogs and comments about this very serious topic with complete lies and slander. Just, anything that might stick to the wall. We’ll address this later on as well. But please understand that me discussing the harassment I’ve faced from these groups is not at the expense of me also owning up to my faults and taking the proper accountability.

And the last set of twos is one I’ve alluded to in the first sets, concerning a pair of toxic side-servers that ran adjacent to the main Nevermore Discord. Completely unofficial cliques. And invisible to myself and Flynn and our mod team. We were eventually made aware that both of them were breaking laws and Discord ToS in ways that leaked into our server and affected our members negatively. As such, both groups were mass-banned. And the cliques are the ones running a majority of the discourse you’ve been seeing here, because while they are formally banned from the discord, we have absolutely no say in their participation on Tumblr. Now, keep in mind. Both of these groups were uncovered after crimson was banned the first time. That’s important later.

Clique #1

My understanding of the first group is that it started as a gaming server for people who met one another through the Nevermore Discord. I don’t know when or why it started being used to talk shit about other readers, but I do know that it got really vicious. And it was sort of an open secret for long before I knew anything about it. I found out after that there were a lot of people passively in this server, just observing. It was that much of a spectacle.

Now, this clique had been pretty rude. Like they’d try to start fights with me in the discord fairly often, both in the Patreon and free spaces. But it wasn’t grounds for dismissal until we found out about the baiting and the alts.  These people had a lot of grievances, but one really united them: they were extremely upset about anyone who would ship Prospero.

Many of you know, that Prospero is an aromantic character, canonically. And you may notice that canonically, he has no apparent love interest. But this group wanted to make sure other readers were not thinking about Prospero in relationships, or creating ship content of him for any reason on the grounds that it would be considered a “proship.” I told them (and I stand on this) that it’s not up to them to police the thoughts of other readers, and that aromantic people have widely varying lifestyles and experiences and do not need to be infantilized that way.

This turned out to be a bad move on my part, because it brought with it an onslaught of alt accounts coming in and "innocently" kicking up what I now refer to as the “prosp-aro” debate every time they had the chance. But because of this and what a common occurrence it was, we started being able to pick out the alts. And we realized that this group of people had been using the same alt accounts with different names to antagonize certain readers they’d decided they hated, and it had gone on for a long time.

I did a lot of investigative work in dms trying to figure out who all was responsible for the harassment, and settled on a list that was vetted by three different people who knew about the clique. And all three of these people insisted that, while Laci was in the group and in a lot of the screencaps saying pretty dubious things, that she was good people. So I believe them, and let Laci stay. This group was banned on April 3, 2024, and contained the following users:

-          lilnatx (nat)

-          suitino (sushi)

-          jj_the_jet_plane (layden)

-          rivsticks (jasper)

-          atheimee (athena)

-          jinxs.com (lanx/jinx)

-          smartestginger (nico)

-          thereallandofbugs (bugs)

-          rosienemui (rosie)

These were the names they were known by on the Discord. I don’t have the Tumblr accounts tied to these identities. But some might be the same. I know a lot of them are here.  It should be noted that jinx was later unbanned due to pressure from Laci that they had been banned in error, after the fact. We allowed them back in after a few days as a favor to Laci since the situation seemed like it was very stressful for her. This would prove to be yet another a mistake since, as you have probably seen in the screenshots from the night before last, jinx rapidly escalated things to another level while I was trying to figure out how to handle crimson’s unbanning and subsequent rebanning an hour later.

Clique #2

Phew. Still with me? Great. The second group we needed to ban was one that actually started long before the first one, but was a lot smaller and comparatively more subtle. This group, to my knowledge, cropped up around the time that ep. 39 of Nevermore was released. (11/10/22) We knew about this group but not who all was involved in it or in what capacity for a very long time. They would consistently post things on Tumblr trying to start a scandal. I recall posts alleging that we were racists, or SA apologists, or that we were sending death threats to a random confessions account.

To be clear, these allegations are completely false. This clique will say anything. Like a recent post one of them put up during this discourse said that hiwi (our mod) is both a r*pe apologist and a childhood friend of mine and that’s the only reason she hasn’t been banned. Hiwi is absolutely nothing of the sort, and I have never met her in person. In fact, she lives on the other side of the continent.

Now, this clique is a little different than the first. The first, to my knowledge, was a group of friends that got toxic and felt morally superior about their opinions and it all kind of got away from them. The vibe was a little catty, I guess. Gossipy. But this clique has more of a stalker vibe. It’s dark.

They’ve had it out specifically for me for as long as I can remember. And some of them (at least one, at all times) would subscribe to our patreon, both to sow dissent in our stream chats and also to leak literally all the content back to the others, including me talking about random shit like what I ate for lunch. Just so they could like. Laugh about it, I guess. I’ll never understand why. [Editing note: because in the final moments of proofreading this post I see one of these people has made some master post about what a terrible person I am? A lot of those screenshots are from Patreon channels and the guy STILL has them laying around. I’m telling you, they stole everything that wasn’t nailed down.] 

The biggest grievance this clique had is that any ship with Montresor is an “SA fetish ship” because to them he is a r*pist because of how he made Ada bark (?) and since Montrada is canon, that means we are supporters of SA, and that Morella and Ada should be together instead. Listen, I’ll level with you, this one baffles me. I don’t even know how to begin to untangle it. But if you see a lot of vitriol about us being SA apologists from these users, it’s because Montresor exists. That’s pretty much it.

You can ask them for screencaps ‘til you’re blue in the face, but unless they build fake ones from the ground up, they’re never going to be able to back up their wild claims. Simply put, they’re provocateurs, and they use the scariest words they can to whip people up into a panic.

We became aware that they were leaking patreon content when one of them was caught publicly referring to things that were being said behind a paywall when we knew they weren’t a patron. It unraveled from there.  People who knew about their antics shared screenshots and information with us, and we finally realized the scope of the clique’s hatred and banned whoever was even left in the Nevermore Discord. But they continue to be active in the community on tumblr. You’ll have seen them around. They were banned on 5/11/2024 and the names involved are as follows (again, a mishmash of discord names, nicknames, and tumblr accounts):

- percy (gremlinguy145 on tumblr)

- queenmorningrose (annabel-lee-nevermore on tumblr)

- spoopycactus630 (spoopy-nevermore-dump on tumblr)

- grif/horrorshow (conscience-grim on tumblr)

- unreqiknizd

- duke aralt (westofthestyx)

- eden (sapphic-mad-scientist on tumblr)

- priemium

Again I’d like to reiterate. The point in sharing these names is not to incite any sort of response against these people. But they are folding themselves into the fray and doing what they can to whip everyone else up into a mob, and all as we’re talking about a discord server that they have been banned from for months now. The above context is also relevant for the next section, which is why you’re all here in the first place.

What the hell happened with Crimson?

I hope it’s not confusing, but now we’re going back to 3/14/2024, before anything I just outlined above had come to light. The cliques were quietly doing their harassment and baiting and raiding and whatever-the-hell behind the scenes, but Flynn and I and the mods were blissfully unaware of how bad it was getting. We get a dm from Laci. The same Laci who was part of Clique #1 and was rescued from being banned with the others by her friends outside the group. Jinx’s friend, who managed to get them unbanned as well. You have probably seen these screencaps already, but I will show them to you again, just in case.

Sufficed to say, we were immediately alarmed by the information Laci shared in her DM with us. Now, I want to be very clear about this because it’s been lost in the game of telephone. What Laci outlines in her dm to me, were the events that occurred between six users (including crimson) in a group chat with minors. Everyone in the evidence was censored (pfp and username), as was the image that crimson showed them. When I asked, Laci agreed to give me one name of one of the minors in the dm. I’ll call them Alice, but that is not their real name. I asked if I could talk to Alice about this, I was told by Laci, no. Alice doesn’t want to talk. I was like, ok I understand, that’s fine. 

I hope it makes sense when I say that it is not feasible for us to moderate the things that happen in peoples’ dms. As you’ve seen above, the mod team doesn’t usually get involved with drama unless whatever is happening is directly affecting the experience people are having in the Nevermore Discord because that is all we can see and the only place we have any real authority.  But this was obviously a special case. We banned crimson very quickly without asking any follow-up questions, because of course we did!? I’ve seen people say I’m harboring or defending crimson or that we’re buddies but we barely spoke, ever. They were a stranger to me then, and they still are now.

But something about the entire situation wasn’t adding up to me. And I want to be clear that none of this is in any way meant to discredit csa survivors, I’m really just trying to put you in my headspace and walk you through my thought process. But I found that the evidence was just, sort of strange. Laci started her dm explaining that she found this information out because she and a group of people were investigating crimson for ‘art tracing’ which felt, to me, like a bizarre non-sequitur and totally irrelevant next to the evidence of them showing nsfw content to minors. Petty, kind of. Like I wanted to ask – why were you doing that in the first place? People trace Flynn’s art all the time. As long as they’re not selling it, it’s not a big deal.

Most of the crops are from a PC but the windows are oddly small, and only contain a couple messages at a time. Some have American formatted time and some have European formatted time. So different users, I assume? The names were blotted out, which I would understand for a public call-out but not for a private report to the mod team. Laci was not in this gc at any point in time, despite being the one to report. 

One of the users was apparently 12, to which I ask – what is a 12-year-old doing on discord at all? If we knew who they were, we would have reported the account. Discord is not a safe place for a child that age, let alone a small group chat. Along with 18-year-old Crimson, there was also a 22- and 17-year-old in the chat, which left us wondering – why hadn’t anything been done?

I had no evidence that anyone ever told crimson they were minors, and I feel if it existed, it would have been in the screencap dump (I find that sometimes a noticeable lack of key evidence is evidence in itself). No one seems to have tried to kick crimson from the group chat or report their account for inappropriate behavior. Then there’s the fact that this is a group chat. Anyone in it can leave at any time. 

Then I came across the messages that started this whole gc, and it only got stranger when I realized Alice started it, called it “Women Lovers” and created it “so we can talk about Nevermore women without having to filter ourselves” after they all reacted to a sultry but sfw drawing of Lenore that crimson had made and posted in our hideout channel. And all that made me wonder why Alice didn’t just kick crimson, if she had admin power?  Do you see what I mean? It’s just all a bit head tilty. I noticed it at the time. But I said nothing. Because it didn’t matter. Crimson, no matter what happened, exposed minors to nsfw content. And that’s on them. And I’ve never in my life defended it. We banned them.

Crimson was beside herself. She came off humiliated and apologetic, and insisted she had no idea and begged to come back to a community she said she loved. But we told her no, there’s no coming back from doing what she did.

Time passes and we uncover Clique #1. And while we figured out who the main players were, I dmed with Laci. And it was Laci herself, who tells me that it was Alice who made most of Clique #1’s alt accounts, and that it was Alice who used those alt accounts to harass people and try to get them to start fights or say something that might get them in trouble. 

And I’ll be honest with you, the mod team still didn’t think much of it, outside of – we need to figure out which accounts were the alts. So we did. We had several confirmed to us.  And those accounts were zeroing in on certain users that the clique didn’t like. At the time we noticed two notable targets in addition to the mod team. I won’t name them, it’s their business if they want to weigh in about all that. But in screencaps, they’ll be labeled Target #1 and Target #2.

More time passes and Clique #2 comes to light. As you can imagine, by now we’re feeling disillusioned, and very tired of trying to moderate shit we cannot see for ourselves. And that’s when crimson comes back to very hesitantly ask if they might be able to appeal their ban. It wasn’t until then that it occurred to us that Laci (on behalf of Alice) was the only one who ever reported anything to us about Crimson. 

And I want to just say that again. Because it’s gotten lost too. Laci was the only person who ever reported Crimson. There was not one single other person who ever sent a modmail or a dm or even a ping to anybody on the mod team. I have since (only yesterday) seen some screencaps that are rather skin crawly, but even those happened in yet another side server. Thinking on this, the mods went back through the known alt accounts Alice had used. And they found that Alice harassed crimson both on her main account and on the same alt accounts that she used to harass the other targets.

By now, Alice is banned for completely unrelated reasons. Not because of what happened with Crimson. I’ve seen that one flying around and I’m sorry it’s just not true. It’s because she was relentlessly harassing and cyberbullying people in the discord we moderate. Laci is still there, but had lost my trust, for being involved with both the drama I’ve mentioned here and more that I don’t care to dip into. It’s ultimately irrelevant. But what am I going to say to Laci? “Hey, did you and Alice, by any chance, coordinate some kind of bizarre trap together to get crimson banned from the discord because you suspected them of tracing their art?” And once again. Because I want to keep this top of mind. Even if that were the case, it doesn’t make what Crimson did alright, and it never will. Sharing nsfw content in front of minors is a disgusting thing to do. And one that we frankly are really irritating about in the moderation of the discord. I’ve heard people say that we over-moderate when it comes to art. 

But all this stuff about a “known pedophile?” If it was known, then we were on the outs. And to even this minute right now, I don’t have any conclusive evidence that Crimson is a pedophile. The evidence I have is that Crimson shared nsfw with a group of people whose ages they did not know. Which is fucking gross. It’s an adult’s responsibility to make sure they’re speaking with other adults before posting things of that nature. 

But at the time, the way I read the situation is that Crimson had only just stopped being a minor and was egregiously negligent in how they were speaking and what they were posting, likely in part due to them not being aware enough of their adult responsibilities.  And hey. I know some of you are chomping at the bit. You can call me naïve for this! This is what I’m referring to when I say that I can be a real idiot. But I feel everyone has been very quick to call Crimson a pedophile. I know this is pedantic to say, but the prerequisite for being a pedophile is “being attracted to minors.” Based on the information I had at my fingertips, I did not think Crimson sought out these minors. Crimson was invited to the gc, they did not ask to join. 

I have seen discussions about all the things crimson did to their victims since we unbanned them but I have not seen screencaps to support that whole ‘marriage proposal’ thing, and again I think it sounds a bit odd coming as a pedophilia accusation from someone only one year younger than crimson.  

But you know what? I don’t know crimson. Maybe we were wrong. But even if we weren’t, I realize in hindsight that it was a stupid decision for the mod team to give them a second chance. We didn’t have anyone to consult about what happened because all the other people in the chat had been obscured from me and I didn’t feel like Laci would give me a straight answer. 

The mods and I felt at the time that crimson, like the other targets of Clique #1, had been singled out and that they deserved another very closely monitored chance in the discord, which they said they still missed dearly. I’m a bleeding heart, alright? A total sap. I know that. But being honest with you, I felt bad. It feels horrible to be singled out and targeted. And I was probably too close to that feeling at the time, seeing as we were on the tail end of finding out the Clique #2 had pursued me so relentlessly for so long. 

So for my part, I’m sorry. I made a rash decision that was influenced by some very personal circumstances. And we should have left it alone. Based on the evidence I've seen, I don’t know if I personally would call crimson a pedophile and certainly I wouldn't call them a known pedophile, but I am regretful that we risked it either way.

When I was trying to explain all of this in the west common room channel two nights back, things had boiled over and were already getting out of hand very quickly. A lot of brand new accounts were joining the discord with one word intros just to start conflicts in the public server with crimson. Alts. Either from banned users or burner accounts. And I got panicky. One of the mods paused the messages in west common room but no one besides me was available to handle the situation at that moment. Reacts about being silenced were pouring in and I felt pressured to quickly take over and try to explain. 

In my rush, I stupidly didn’t backread more than a quick skim. And I ate shit, y’all. You saw. One thing I want to state outright. I’m talking a lot about my thoughts and my feelings and it’s because I don’t wanna speak for Flynn or for the mods. But I didn’t make this decision alone. In fact, I was dragging my feet and being really lazy about okaying the whole thing. Just because I was busy, not because I was fretting over it or anything. But I had to be pinged and then literally tapped on the shoulder by Flynn, asking me to respond to mod chat when this was being discussed earlier that day. That doesn’t change the fact that I was part of the decision. I agreed to unban crimson. Foolishly. I understand that, now. 

I hope that now it makes some more sense though, how it came to happen. I never meant to hurt anyone. My own past and present feelings got in the way, and I own that. But in the moment, my personal intention was to give crimson a second chance because I felt that they’d been targeted by Clique #1. Not to ignore anyone’s concerns or make them feel unsafe, even if those were the ultimate outcome.  

So, completely underprepared and defensive, I jumped into west common room and I just. Blew it. Totally fucking blew it. I knew it instantly but it’s hard to stay logical when people are telling you you’re vile and evil and they’re sick that they ever thought you were a good person and that they’ll never see you the same way again. My mind went blank and I don’t really remember much of what happened next. But I said what I said, and I should have done better. 

I wish there was a word bigger than sorry. I’m beside myself. I know there was probably a way to make everyone happy. To make everything okay. But I wasn't clever enough to figure it out in the moment, and it eats at me. So it’s like I’m sorry for my poor judgment and my terrible choice of words, but there’s another layer where I’m also sorry for not matching how wonderful this community is with how wonderful (or well, unwonderful) I was two nights ago. I promise I am going to work harder to be better for you all.

Again, to every victim of SA and CSA, my heart is with you, more personally than you might realize. I don’t think I could have handled my explanation in a worse way. And I’m so so sorry.

Moving forward, I am also going to take an enormous step back from moderating and participating in the discord in general. I feel like a lot of this happened because I was still treating it like it belonged to a smaller fandom, like Shiloh’s. But realistically, I don’t have time to both moderate and make the series itself, and I really dragged my feet on being honest with myself about that. And for that too, I apologize. We’re going to get more mods, they’re going to have full control of the moderation, and Flynn and I are going to do what we love more than anything in the world and just make Nevermore.

I understand if you won’t be there for it. This is not a flattering picture I’ve painted for you. And you’d be well within your rights, to decide not to give us another chance. But it's been a pleasure to lurk here in this wildly talented corner of tumblr. And I’ll never forget it. <3 Yours truly, -Kit Trace

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not having time to read my mutual's writing?

Met a mutual on here, bonded through fanfic, have been tight with them for a few years with pretty much no bumps in the relationship, just overall had a really good time hanging around them when I could. We both write a lot and share our writing, and occasionally we talk about that writing/workshop it in passing.

In the past few years I've gone through a ton of life changes. Most notably I went from a multi-person household to a single-person one, and I've been living alone in a prohibitively costly city for a while now working 40 hour weeks and barely scraping by. As soon as the transition started I spent the last of my free income on a shitty little laptop so I could still write, putting down words on my bus/train commutes in the morning and quite literally writing on my breaks at work because I feel insane when I can't create. I bring this up to really stress that I don't have the time for the hobby, I force myself to make the time and even then it never feels like enough.

The only thing I can really stand to do with my 3 hours of free time at night is hang out with my moots online. I'm an extrovert so being around people recharges me. If I don't have designated social time I get super depressed and can pretty much feel my soul withering away. I also feel like I should probably mention that I kinda have a slew of mental issues, personality disorders and PTSD and AuDHD and the works. Point being, shit is rough my dude, but I am a person who likes to work hard and face challenges head on and even though we strugglin, we doing it with a positive outlook.

But! I am an incredibly solution-oriented person and I have found what I personally believe to be a good balance. No one should have to live like this, but I do, and I have found a way to be happy. My writing and my social time is all load-bearing. It is not something I just choose to do on a whim, it's all planned and scheduled and I adhere to those routines very strictly because, I cannot stress this enough, I will go fucking bonkers if I don't.

I'm mutuals with a lot of writers obv, and I sadly don't have time to read their work anymore, unless I get some extra time on my days off or something gets cancelled or like, I end up taking a vacation. I carry a great amount of guilt for this, though, even though I logically know it's reasonable. I try to support them where I can, cheer them on when I see them writing and tell them how cool their ideas sound, hype them up even when I can't actually read & review.

One of the things I do is sometimes I leave a kudos on fic I haven't read. I'm not trying to be ingenuine, and if they asked me I'd tell them like 'Oh I didn't read it yet, just wanted to show support!' but to me it's kinda like ripping a paper tab off a poster so that other's feel inclined to do the same. Plus my pals get a little email and a hit of serotonin.

Except one of my acquaintances, the one I mentioned at the start here, saw that I left kudos on a couple pieces another mutual of mine wrote this year. They more or less blew up my DMs with a ton of accusatory (like, literally presented like a 'GOTCHA!') stuff about how I was selective in who's fic I read, more or less implying that I secretly held some sort of grudge or negative feeling toward them and was making the conscious decision not to read or interact with their writing because of. Something, I don't actually know what they were trying to say. They also told me they vented to their friends about this MULTIPLE times, but they never once approached me to let me know they were feeling paranoid or neglected, they literally just took the most bad faith reading of it possible and then presented that to me like it was something I intentionally did, while the whole time I was unaware.

I tried to explain to them the kudos thing, that I didn't do it to every story, just ones I caught/noticed in my busy schedule. And I laid all this out and asked, multiple times, what free time am I supposed to read with? They didn't answer, and doubled down, kept trying to show me 'proof' that I was shorting them and no one else. Once they started to realize how wrong they were they backed down, but they didn't really apologize, or admit they were wrong, and they tried to end our relationship and left every single server we were in together. Because of some other unrelated stuff going on in my life, I didn't really consider them to be a close friend, but they were someone I really held dear and would've walked through hell for if they'd asked.

I still feel like there is something I'm missing here, and that's why I wanted to ask if I'm TA. I'm a pretty good communicator but one of the things I told myself when talking down my disordered thoughts (guilt about this prior) was "no one in their right mind would use reading fanfic as a metric for friendship." Now that I've had that exact thing happen, I'm starting to think maybe those thoughts weren't so disordered. Maybe this IS a big deal, and I should think about it more, but I don't even know what the solution to that would be. I just. Don't have time to read something lovingly crafted and appreciate it for what it is. All the hours in my week are used up, I'd have to lose sleep for this and with my mental health the way it is that is not an option.

Feel free to be a brutal, my skin is thick. Thanks!

What are these acronyms?

[fanfics4all]

Leap of Faith

Request: Yes / No

Don’t be shy, request things! <3 Have a nice day/night

Spencer Ried x Fem!Reader 

Word count: 727

Warnings: Mentions of Maeve’s death

Y/N: Your Name 

A/N: I'm thinking of doing a part 2, let me know if you guys would want one

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK! 

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you! 

Masterlist 

If you enjoy my work, you could also show support by buying me a coffee! 

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

*Spencer’s POV*

The bullpen was quieter than usual, the hum of computers and soft murmurs of conversations filled the void. I sat at my desk, staring blankly at the file in front of me. My mind was elsewhere… on her. The way she smiled when she solved a puzzle, the way she listened with unwavering focus, and the way her laugh made my chest feel lighter, even on the heaviest of days. 

It wasn’t supposed to happen. Not after Maeve. I closed that part of myself off and locked it away to protect what was left. Yet here I was, feeling things I promised myself I never would again. 

Morgan dropped into the chair beside me, his sharp eyes noticing the faraway look on my face. 

“What’s going on with you, Pretty Boy? You’ve been staring at that file for ten minutes, and I know your brain worlds faster than that.” I blinked, startled out of my thoughts. I hesitated, glancing around to ensure no one else was listening. 

“Nothing.” I said quickly, too quickly. Morgan raised a brow, a knowing smirk tugging at his lips. 

“Come on, man, don’t insult me. I’ve known you too long for that. What’s really going on?” I sighed, leaning back in my chair and rubbing a hand over my face. 

“I think I’m in trouble.” I admitted softly. 

“Trouble? Like BAU-level trouble or… woman trouble?” He asked, his grin widening. I groaned. 

“It’s not funny, Derek.” 

“Alright, alright.” Morgan said, holding up his hands. 

“Talk to me, who’s got you all tied up in knots?” For a moment, I didn’t answer, but then I glanced toward the desk a few rows away. She wasn’t there right now, probably in Garcia’s office or getting coffee, but just thinking about her made my chest tighten. Morgan followed my gaze and his eyebrows shot up. 

“Oh, now I get it.” I looked away, my face flushing. 

“It’s not like that…” I mumbled, even though it absolutely was. 

“Reid…” Morgan said, his tone softening. 

“Why is this a bad thing? Y/N’s great. You like her, she obviously likes you-” 

“She doesn’t.” I interrupted quickly. 

“And even if she did, it doesn’t matter.” Morgan frowned. 

“Why doesn’t it matter?” I hesitated, my hands fidgeting with the edge of the file. 

“I don’t want to love her…” I finally said, my voice low and filled with pain. 

“I don’t like what that means for me.” He leaned forward, his gaze steady and understanding. 

“What do you think it means?” 

“It means I have something to lose again…” I said, my voice cracking slightly. 

“...and I’m not strong enough for that anymore.” Morgan nodded slowly, letting the words hand in the air for a moment. 

“I get it, I really do. After what happened with Maeve, it makes sense that you’d feel this way. But Reid, you’re stronger than you think. You’ve been through hell and back, and you’re still standing. That’s not weakness, man. That’s strength.” I shook my head. 

“It doesn’t feel like strength. It feels like…like I’m setting myself up for more pain.” 

“Or…” He countered. 

“...you’re setting yourself up for something amazing. Look, I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. Love never is, but you can’t let fear stop you from living your life. Maeve wouldn’t want that for you, and deep down, you don’t want that for yourself either.” I looked down at my hands, mind racing. I wanted to believe Morgan was right, but the fear still loomed large, casting a shadow over everything. 

“You’ve already survived the worst kind of loss, Reid.” Morgan said gently. 

“You know how strong you are because you’ve been there. Don’t let that fear keep you from the good stuff. She’s not Maeve and this isn’t the past. Give yourself permission to try.” I swallowed hard, my throat tightening. I thought about her smile and the way she lit up a room without even trying. Maybe Morgan was right. Maybe it was time to stop letting fear dictate my life. 

“Thanks, Morgan.” I said softly, my voice barely above a whisper. He grinned, clapping me on the shoulder. 

“That’s what I’m here for, Pretty Boy. Now go get her.” I couldn’t help but smile, a small flicker of hope igniting in my chest. Maybe, just maybe, it was time to take a leap.

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs-blog1 @lover-of-books-and-tea @nerdygaloresposts @teenwolfbitches28 @kmc1989 @drw0301bieber @lady-of-lies @ravenmoore14 @ravenempress101 @cillianchamp @rowanthomasknapp @rachelxwayne @ready-4-fanfiction @madammarvellous-blog1 @pettyjayy @bruisedfists-and-splitlips @answer-the-sirens @andreasworlsboring101 @reidssmile @currentfangirl-futuremedexaminer @mggstyles @satans-0-spawn @emofairygay @thesoftestwarlock @liz-owl 

[umlewis]

lewis hamilton during the press conference on day three of pre-season testing, bahrain - february 23, 2024 (transcript under the cut)

Journalist: "What changed between the summer and the decision to make the call for Ferrari?" Lewis: "Obviously in summer we signed and obviously I, at that time, saw my future with Mercedes, but an opportunity came up in the new year and I decided to take it. It was obviously the hardest decision I think I've ever had to make. Obviously I've been with Mercedes for… I think it's, like, 26 years they've supported me, and we've had an absolutely incredible journey together. We've created history within the sport, and it's something I take a lot of pride in. I'm very proud of what we've achieved. But I think ultimately I'm writing my story, and I felt like it was time to start a new chapter." [time jump] Lewis: "For every driver, I think, growing up, watching the history, watching Michael Schumacher in his prime, I think probably all of us sit in our garage and see the screen pop up and you see the driver in the red cockpit and you wonder what it'd be like to be surrounded by the red. You go to the Italian Grand Prix and you see the sea of red, of Ferrari fans, and you can only stand in awe of that, and it's a team that's not had huge success, really, since… Mostly, obviously, from Michael's days, but since 2007, and I saw it as a huge challenge, and without a doubt… Even as a kid, I used to play on GP2 as Michael in that car, so it definitely is a dream and I'm really, really excited about it." Interviewer: "Lewis, have you ever been to Maranello? Lewis: "I have not. I bought my first Ferrari in 2010, I think. That was my first present to myself. I don't have it anymore, but I didn't get to go during that time. Being with Mercedes, I didn't think it was a good look to go, at the time." Journalist: "Are you on Duolingo already? Are you planning to have lessons? What's the game plan with that? Thank you." Lewis: "In all these years, I've not managed to learn any other languages, so… But of course I will definitely try. I do remember when I was karting in Italy and I was able to pick up a few lines, and so hopefully that will come back to me pretty quickly. But just to go back to, just about the new chapter… This chapter's still not finished. I'm still 100% focused on delivering for this team this year and trying to finish on a high. That's a big, big goal for me and the team, and I have absolute faith in everyone in the team and, what we've done so far, I think it's great, so I really hope that we are somehow able to close the gap to the Red Bulls, somehow." Journalist: "Can you tell us a little bit about your relationship with Fred? How important was he in your decision? Was he the only guy that could have convinced you to go there?" Lewis: "I've got a great relationship with Fred. Obviously I raced with him in Formula 3, and we had amazing success in Formula 3 and also in GP2, and that's really where the foundation of our relationship started, and we just always remained in touch. And I thought that he was gonna be an amazing team manager at some stage and progress to Formula 1, but at the time he wasn't interested in that, and it was really cool to see him step into the Alfa team, and then when he got the job at Ferrari I was just so happy for him. And I think just the stars aligned. It really wouldn't have happened without him, so I'm really grateful and really excited about the work that he's doing there and… Yeah."

[nekropsii]

I know the kids in general aren't your thing but what are your thoughts on june egbert as a whole?

I've seen opinions on her existence be pretty varied (tho I guess more recent years its a widely accepted fanon and uh some ppl treat her as canon when.. she's... not lmao..) so I'm curious on your opinion if you have one!

(I personally don't subscribe to the headcanon but otherwise I don't have any strong feelings about it ppl can do whatever they want forever lmao)

I've been vocal about this previously, but in my opinion, all J. Egbert is good J. Egbert. June, John, Transfem, Transmasc, Transneu, Nonbinary, Genderfluid, Multigender, whatever the fuck, I don't care, have fun. Whatever gender people subscribe to the character isn't my business, and I have zero way of telling what it means to people unless they're being super blatant about it, which... Doesn't actually happen often?

I have no way of telling if people subscribe to transfem!June wholesale because that gives them comfort, or transmasc!John because that gives them comfort, or genderfluid!Egbert because that gives them comfort, or even just... Cis Trans Ally John, because that gives them comfort. These are all things I've seen before. I just choose to assume good faith, as is healthier, and respect whatever OP is tagging. If they're tagging art as June, it doesn't matter if she looks the same as she does in canon, or if she's pre-transition, that's June to them, so I'll tag it as June myself. If they're tagging art as John, I tag it as John. I have no way of knowing what their idea of the sex of this character is, and I'd find it weird to "correct" them, when they could very easily just be drawing a headcanon they've had for years and found major comfort and gender euphoria in. I don't know their life.

I think the way people have been using June's confirmation- not canonization to HS^2/HS:BC, she hasn't appeared yet- as a way to be transphobic in any direction is vile. I think if you use June as a way to be transmisogynistic, you're an asshole and a transphobe. If you use June as a way to be bigoted against trans men, you're an asshole and a transphobe. If you're finding a way to use it to be bigoted against nonbinary or multigender people, you're an asshole and a transphobe. I would sure fucking hope this isn't a controversial statement. There's no good reason to be a bigot. A disagreement over gender headcanons is an especially pathetic reason to reduce yourself to transphobia. Come the fuck on now.

More Discussion Under the Cut:

Miscellaneous thoughts include... 1.) She is not canon to Homestuck proper. This is because every piece of Homestuck media outside of literal Homestuck (2009) itself has been very open about the fact that they are not canon to Homestuck (2009). Homestuck (2009) is canon to Homestuck (2009), and nothing else is. HS:BC is canon to itself. HS^2 is canon to itself. The Homestuck Epilogues is canon to itself. Pesterquest is canon to itself. Hiveswap is canon to itself. They are not canon to Homestuck, though. These aren't condemnations of these pieces of media, nor is it a reduction of the meaning of this form of the character to people, it just needs to be stated that they're not canon to Homestuck. This is by design, and is also a well advertised fact about them. 2.) She was not "always intended", or "always canon". I see a lot of people say that June was being intentionally alluded to since 2009, and... That's just... Really blatantly not the case? Extremely magical thinking happening there. I think if June was supposed to happen in Homestuck, and was allegedly intentionally alluded to in Homestuck constantly... She would have happened in Homestuck? There's nothing wrong with an author getting asked to make a certain gender headcanon canon and then, you know, canonizing it because they think it's cool, nor is there anything wrong with an author realizing that an interesting arc for a specific character would be a gender transition in sequel material. It doesn't have to always be a "This was all planned from the start" situation. As someone who is a writer... That's genuinely just not really how writing works, and it really isn't where Hussie's politics were at during the time. Hell, I know a lot of genders, pronouns, sexualities, races, ethnicities, religions, and disability statuses were changed throughout me working on my own writing projects. They weren't all "Planned from the Start", and there's nothing wrong with that. 3.) June fans, I am so sorry. You all deserve so much more than these years of J.K. Rowling-tier """canonization""". This was said to be something that was totally going to happen... On Twitter... Through a magical Toblerone wish... Several years ago. And nothing has really come of it since. Not even a hint!! That sucks so much. 4.) Not to be blunt, but some people are really misogynistic about her. Transitioning doesn't completely change your personality. It doesn't fix all of your problems and flaws. Growing into femininity doesn't magically make you a ditzy bimbo girly girl whose only personality traits are Cute, Stupid, and Female. That's just fucking weird, dog. The way some people treat her status as a woman reads very... Caliborn-esque...

[prickly-paprikash]

Don't you just hate it when one of the biggest grifters online decides to like a piece of media you like?

Gatekeeping is wrong. Forcing someone to like something in the specific way I interact and consume a piece of media is wrong. Art is meant to be viewed through a multitude of lenses, and each individual will have their own way of interpreting that creation. And that's good. That's fine. That's human.

But when an Anti-Woke Grifter who thinks alcoholism is a really cool personality trait and decides to brand everything about themselves as that; who has historically engaged and criticized films and shows and games and books in bad faith; who has put down women and POC's and Queer representation in media; who is one of the biggest dicks in the online space decides to actually pay attention to an art that is pretty much dipped, coated, laminated, and injected with fucking GAY, ANTI-PATRIARCHAL ENERGY—that's when I get mad.

For those not in the know, Critical Drinker has posted a review for Blue Eye Samurai, saying he likes it.

You know... Blue Eye Samurai?

The show that oozes Queer Wrath? Feminine Rage? Curb-Stomping Toxic Masculinity and the Patriarchy whenever and wherever it can? That Blue Eye Samurai?

See, he's done this before with Arcane.

He says he likes it. Him and his ilk say that, "Finally, the wokies have done something actually good!" and point to Vi and Jinx as strong female characters written well!

But they also say, dang, feels like all the men in that show are idiots and that they had to be dumbed down to make room for the rainbow-haired girlies brigade. Who have all remarked that Vi and Caitlyn's relationship is forced and being shoved down our throats because god forbid women like women!

I got sick of watching his Arcane review halfway, and this was before I knew what a douche Critical Sucker was.

So I ain't watching his Blue Eye Samurai review. Why?

His Glass Onion review was done in bad faith.

I didn't like She-Hulk, but that's because that show was a byproduct of abused VFX animators, creatively bankrupt executives, and writers desperately trying to manage a convoluted shared universe that continues to buckle under its own weight. Political Stinker over here thinks that it's pandering, stupid, feminist garbage. He is one of the biggest Anti-Feminist voices in Youtube.

Him and his incel brigade have an obsession over hating Captain Marvel and Brie Larson. These basement dwelling cucks rant and rave over a mediocre duology and an actress that just lives in their tiny heads rent-free.

He says that they are removing men from leading roles and roles of great importance!

So why would I want to listen to an inebriated libertarian's opinions on a show that has become the show for lesbians, trans mascs, and other lovely brands of gay and feminism that he oh so despises? He'll most likely praise the action and violence and shit like that, then probably say that Mizu and Taigen's homoerotic rivalry isn't gay actually. Or that Mizu and Akemi's narrative foils don't scream enemies-to-sapphics. Or that Mizu, WHO'S NAME MEANS WATER AND HER ENTIRE CHARACTER REVOLVES AROUND FLUIDITY ISN'T IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM FLUID IN HER GENDER AND SEXUALITY.

Fuck. I'm sorry. I don't even care if he doesn't say that. He's made so many disgusting, disparaging remarks about any piece of media that shows an inkling of progressive themes that what else am I supposed to expect?

If anyone watches it and sees this, lemme know. Watching an Anti-Woke bullshit video with just myself is just straight up wading through the desert without proper protection. No thanks.

Anyway watch Blue Eye Samurai again. Because I know you watched it. Watch it again. And again. And when you're done, watch Arcane. Watch She-Ra. Watch Dragon Prince. Castlevania. Watch anything "woke". Consume trans-positive shows. Make all the haters and even the ones who like it but have no ounce of media literacy irrelevant. Let them dry out and die, please.

[fadedmunson]

all apologies | o. isaac

pairings ; oscar isaac x gn!reader (no use of y/n)

summary ; you do something that you know you shouldn't have done, now you're facing the consequences

genre ; reader doing something kinda dumb, slightest bit of angst, and then all comfort ^^ kinda established relationship already

notes ; 1 curse word !! im not very good at writing and english is not my first language, thank you for understanding

wc ; 🤷‍♀️, not proofread !!

the hot, blistering sun was making your skin all sticky but thank god for this pool

"c'mon dude, just do it!" your friends egged you on

"i mean whats the worst that could happen?" one of them asked

"well, im sooo glad you asked! because i could hurt myself and ruin oscars mural, he just painted it i would never forgive myself." just thinking about it made you shiver

the pool party was a pretty cute and small gathering. only your friends and oscars were at this party and since you shared most of the same friends, it blended together really well

the only problem was how intimate and cozy your shared place could be with more than 10 people in it

"you only live once and it would be really cool! we'll get it on video and everything. the murals kinda far from the pool. I also thought oscar didn't really like the mural all that much. some water wont hurt it." one of your friends comments analytically.

that stupid reasoning is why you were now at the top of this diving board counting down to three

THREE ! god, WHAT am i doing with my life

TWO ! this won't make so much of a mess? right? i thi-

ONE ! SWEET BABY JESUS I CANT BREATHE

you take a leap of faith and jump right into this pool

SPLASH !

you don't know the water goes everywhere but you're pretty content with how steady your position and posture was while diving

you don't see the look on your friends faces that say 'fml' and 'oh... no..'

the mural was still wet and with the amount of water that splashed on it, the whole thing was ruined

and of course, right on time, oscar walks into the backyard

"thought i heard someo- " the smile on his face is immediately fading and being replaced with a blank stare

"oh my god," you don't know what to do in your frantic state "babe im so sorry i had no idea-" you try to talk to him but he pushes away almost too quickly and goes back inside

you just stand there, a cold and anxious feeling waving over you

you breathe in and then out, calm down and give him space, everything will be ok

you grab a towel, dry of a little, and take your sandals to go inside

the party is semi quiet, only being filled with small conversations and music through the speakers

before entering through the door entirely, you move your head to peak outside

"delete that video!" you shout to one of your friends who you know pressed rec.

as you're fluffing and drying off your hair, you try looking for oscar, not knowing he's fully slumped on the couch, just staring into nothingness

you're just worried for what you've done to this poor guy :,(

"oscar, honey, you gotta look at me please." you find and sit next to his motionless state and comb your hand through his hair while the other hand is caressing his face features

he doesn't say anything and doesn't even acknowledge your presence, ouch

"oh baby, im so sorry i did that. i knew it was a bad idea and im not sure why i still did it." you're quick to apologizing and you're now overthinking everything you did tonight

you're severely overwhelmed and have no idea what to say in this situation

all you can do is rest your face into his neck and press the smallest kisses there, making your way up to his jawline, then his cheek, his nose, and his head

you won't stop peppering these tiny kisses and you can see a little smile ghosting his features

you love the way he smells, the strongest smell of his cologne is all you can smell right now.

it's strong, a sandal wood and clean scent, it's so comforting to you right now

"stop you're tickling me now" he begins to lightly giggle and softly push you back a bit

you're both just laughing at each other until the laughter dies down and you fully apologize to him

"if i knew what would've happened, i would have never even step foot on that diving board" you look into his eyes with all the seriousness you could muster up

he just looks at you with softened and sad eyes "y'know, i was starting to like the mural a bit actually."

you're heart shatters into a million pieces (for the second time today) great, you feel like utter shit now

you feel like curling into a ball and crying as of right now, and he can tell, but you're here to console him

you see tears swell up in his eyes and you're quick to kiss his eyes and move onto his lap, your lips just inches away from his

"i don't deserve you, at all. there aren't enough apologies in the world to make up for hurting the most attractive person on earth" you poke at him a bit and just rest your forehead on his

he immediately moves your forehead off and wraps his hands on your waist as he leans in for a sweet, looooong kiss.

its warm, you taste the lukewarm beer he had around an hour ago, but it makes you smile into him

you end the kiss with a little peck on his lips and tilt your head to the side

"forgive me?" you pout a little

"i guess so," he sarcastically says but flips you on your back to trap you in his arms for another kiss

"hey!" you yelp while giggling

"i love you so much." you mumble into the kiss

"mmmmhm," he breathes into you "i love you so much more, mi querida."

[tacosaysroar]

I’m still catching up, but here’s a quick rundown of what’s been going on since Halloween, both good and bad . . .

1) Enormous and untenable workload

2) Adelaide and her boyfriend broke up, and this boy’s overly involved mother has been harassing me about it for 2+ weeks and yet also keeps trying to make plans to hang out with me as friends, which is bizarre. (If I turn up dead, please show this bulleted list to the police, hahahajustkiddingsortofhahaha.)

3) One of my best friends was elected as a circuit court judge and I drove the 6 hours up for her surprise party last weekend.

4) The head of my department, a woman I greatly admire and work closely with, announced she’s retiring next month and she’s leaving a huge power vacuum that’s getting . . . uhhhhhh . . . pretty ugly

5) I’ve started dating someone. I like him, and he’s been very forthcoming about liking me back. It’s been a bright spot in all of this madness. Solid plans made all the way to June, so this one isn’t fooling around.

6) In absolute sincerity but glossing over the “why” details, I spent 24 hours mentally preparing to let myself into a friend’s apartment and discover their dead body. They were fine, but it’s highlighted a larger problem I, of course, have no control over but can be free to feel low-grade constant worry and stress over, which is cool.

7) I can’t overemphasize the ugliness of #4. The team is being pulled apart and reallocated. People are scrambling to protect themselves and each other. I don’t have much faith in what will be my new situation, but there’s upheaval here every 8-12 months. So I’m going to white knuckle it until it changes again. You can tolerate just about anything for a year. We’ll cross the “and if it doesn’t?” bridge when we get to it.

[sunbeamstress]

i've noticed an increasing trend in game names that are like

TITLE OF GAME: ENTIRE OTHER SEPARATE TITLE OF GAME

and it's kinda fascinating to see! i'm a little obsessed with naming trends, names themselves, and their natures, being a subject of endless personal fascination; for most of my entire life, works of media in the US were typically given just a single TITLE. if you make a sequel, that's TITLE 2. if you make a spinoff? sometimes it's a different TITLE, but sometimes it's TITLE: SUBTITLE.

except now we have tons of games in the public space that are called TITLE: SUBTITLE as singular works!

the evolution of the SUBTITLE component of these names is so interesting. usually it was something descriptive that hinted the work was derivative (The Elder Scrolls: Daggerfall; Banjo & Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts; Cyberpunk 2077: Phantom Liberty; etc.), but the SUBTITLE's role is changing.

here's a fun trend: games with simplistic (possibly difficult to trademark) names, with a tacked-on subtitle whose job it is to better illustrate the primary title

is "smalland" the actual name of the game, or do we say "smalland: survive the wilds" every time in accordance with the 2005 Pimp Named Slickback ruling? do you say "divinity original sin" as a singular noun or are you meant to inject a little micro-pause where the colon should be?

better yet though, what if the SUBTITLE didn't have to clarify the TITLE? what if it could just be a whole-ass other name for the game?

i totally get why you can't just name your game "metal," that isn't what makes this game name so deliciously weird. the name's components are clearly related, but they seem to point to different spheres of information.

what is this game actually called? do you just call it "metal hellsinger"?

is "metal" meant to hint at the musical lexicon and the game is just "hellsinger"?

is the main character the hellsinger and is she herself implied to hellsing?

does "metal:" imply that this is a singular title in the Metal series?

what if they make a sequel with an EDM or a rap soundtrack? do we get "Drill: Barspitter"? actually i'd play the shit out of that.

btw you should try this game, it fucking rips and it's on sale for like USD$12 right now

by this point i think i got across what i was going for, so now we're just taking a tour. this one's fun because both of these are pretty good names for games, but they couldn't seem to settle on one so they just took both. i respect it!

bleak faith is a game of putting on airs; it wears the trappings of a soulsborne but like most derivative soulsbornes, it assigns its own rules to combat, character building, etc.

it also wears the trappings of my favorite TITLE: SECOND TITLE naming convention, but decides to toss the rules out the fucking window. there is no other Bleak Faith game, so this isn't simply the "Forsaken" offering of that series. and "Forsaken" kinda illustrates "Bleak Faith" like, a little? it pays lip service to it? they both give vaguely Judeo-Christian vibes but honestly the Forsaken bit isn't pulling a lot of weight here.

if Read Only Memories glommed on to two perfectly serviceable titles, this is a great example of a game that really only needed one. "Bleak Faith" sounds pretty cool; "Bleak Faith: Forsaken" sounds like i'm about to enjoy 2-3 hours of a 20-hour indie title

and yet Faith: The Unholy Trinity says "ah but what if the game's primary title was so meaningless you literally couldn't even hold it in your head?" i don't know about you but i am looking at this screenshot i took from Steam myself, i'm reading the name, and my brain is still telling me that this game is called "The Unholy Trinity."

now we're talking! these ones are fun because the subtitle isn't a subtitle at all, it's describing what the game is like - and yet you gotta have it there. it's a style thing.

remember when you'd fire up Metal Gear Solid and it'd SLAM the title on the screen and then there was that stylish "TACTICAL ESPIONAGE ACTION" thing at the bottom alongside some minimal katakana? fucking peak aesthetics

this is a game name that feels like there should be a colon there. it absolutely should be called "Bomb Rush: Cyberfunk". artistic integrity, and a less-than-subtle nod to the precursor (Jet Set Radio) have rescued this title from the Tyranny of the Colon.

unfortunately the latte i made this morning has not rescued me from the Tyranny of the Colon, so if you'll excuse me this is probably a good place to stop

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Falling Part Three | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: Lana and Jae get closer and you ask Jimin for advice on how to deal with her while also trying to rationalize why Jungkook would be on earth Pairing: Angel f!reader x Fallen Angel Jungkook Word Count: 2.9k~ Warnings: Talks about doubting God and questioning why he let's bad things happen to people on earth as well as leaving heaven to join the devil. This is not meant to be harmful to any religion and I don't want to cause any doubt in God or your faith so if you feel that would affect you then please do not read. Nothing super in depth but still wanted to preface it with this. a/n: I finished this and immediately posted it after some rough editing but I wanted to get it out asap lol hope you guys like it!

Once Lana is done for the day I keep my head on a swivel trying to see if I can catch a glimpse of Jungkook anywhere. Is he a student? He has to be a student right? The only way he would materialize would be if the person he was assigned to has already turned 18. He couldn't possibly be a teacher because I would've noticed by now. Meaning he's highly likely to be in his Senior year just like Lana. There are so many kids here though, how am I going to figure out which students have turned 18 recently?

"Lana!" I hear her name being called from across the hall by that same boy from before. "Oh Jae! Are you all done for the day too?" she asks clearly wanting to see if they would be getting off at the same time for future reference. "Yeah I just finished, did you drive here?" he asks curious as well to see if she would need a ride home most days. "No, my mom dropped me off. I usually just hang around school for a bit and do some homework until she gets off work and comes to get me" she explains. 

"Oh okay, well if you want I could give you a ride?" he offers, clearly insinuating something else but it seems to be in a playful manner more than anything. "That's okay, she's already planning on picking me up today. Rain check?" she asks hopeful he won't feel bad about her shooting him down. 

"Sure. Would it be okay if I kept you company until she does?" he questions, she smiles and nods which seems to uplift his spirits again which is good in her mind. "Cool" he says and follows her lead to one of the table outside in the courtyard near the area her mom picks her up at. 

"So, how are you liking things so far?" she questions, hoping to find something that they can talk about for a while. "It was a pretty seamless transition thankfully. All of my credits transferred so I didn't have to worry about trying to make up for the ones that didn't" he answers. "That's great! Scrambling to make those up before graduation would've been really difficult" she cringes just thinking about the potential of being held back. 

"Plus the students here are really nice, and one girl in particular has caught my eye" he teases, messing with the strap on her bag, almost shy to admit. "Oh yeah? And who might that be?" she questions, catching me off guard. 'Where the heck did she learn how to flirt? And why is she already good at it?' I think to myself. 

"Oh, just this really smart, cute and funny girl that I met. I bumped into her on accident today though so I'm not really sure if she likes me or not" he continues. "Are you sure it was on accident?" she teases. 'What the heck Lana! Why aren't you the shy awkward girl I know you to be anymore?' I think to myself now slightly panicking. 'She must really like this boy so far if she's had a sudden change of character just to entertain his advances. This isn't good'.

After getting home her mom finally takes note of how differently she's acting. She calls out for her and Lana simply hums to show she's listening. "Did something happen at school today?" she asks, also a little worried about her. 'Thank God I'm not the only one' I chime in in my head. If this guy wasn't dressed like the definition of trouble I might not be this concerned but I can't help the slight panic I'm starting to feel.

"No, not really" she say and makes her way up to her room, with me following close behind. "Hey come back down when dinner is ready! No skipping meals today" he mom yells after her. "Yes mom" she responds and closes her door right after the words leave her mouth. 

Jae: Did you get home safe?

Lana: Yeah just walked in. Did you?

Jae: Yeah I did. What are your plans for the rest of the day?

Lana: Nothing really. I've got some homework to do but other than that I'm pretty much free. Why?

Jae: I wanted to see if you wanted to go for a drive

She pauses for a second and thinks about it. She's nervous but excited, that's for sure but I really really hope she'll say no. She knows that she isn't supposed to be hanging out with anyone, let alone a boy she just met after curfew. 'Please Lana, please but smart about this' I pray, not wanting to add another sin to her tally of not obeying the rules set out for her. 

Lana: Oh I don't know, I'm not supposed to be out late on a school night

'Yes Lana! Good girl!' I rejoice. Hopefully he won't push her too much, but I don't blame him for trying, Lana is a very pretty girl. 

Jae: It's probably because we don't know each other well too huh?

Lana: Yeah that too

Jae: It's okay I get it

Lana: But if you're free we could talk on the phone? That way we can get to know each other a bit better :)

Jae: Sure

*Jae would like to FaceTime*

"I said call, not FaceTime" she panics out loud while looking at herself in the mirror before pressing accept. 

"I said we could talk on the phone" she says frustrated at being caught off guard. "Are we not talking on the phone?" his voice resounds on loud since Lana hasn't put her Airpods in yet. "Well...yes" "Then what's the problem Pretty?" he says with a half smile, watching as her eyes widen at the pet name. 

"Why did you call me that?" she asks, biting her lip to keep a smile from cracking while occupying herself with finding her Airpods so her mom doesn't hear him. "Because you're pretty" he says with (not gonna lie) a gorgeous smile. Lana better be careful because I feel like this one is ready to break her heart. Once she finally finds them she puts them in and continues their conversation which I thankfully am still able to hear.

"Is it okay if I call you Pretty?" he surprisingly asks for permission. "As long and I'm the only one you're calling that then yeah I guess so" she says and I can feel her heart racing in anticipation to see what his response might be. "Who else would I call Pretty, Pretty? If I've got you I don't need anyone else" he says, his words sweet as honey warm up her skin. 

"You think you've got me?" she says raising a brow at him. 'Okay Lana, you've still got some fight in you' I'm glad to see she's not playing into his games too quickly. If I were her I would have this guy be putty in my hands before I let him call me anything. 'I- nope I'm not her. Yep, we're just gonna. Uh huh let's give her some privacy' I think to myself and quickly call Jimin to ask for advice. 

"Hey! Long time no see" he says when his hologram pops up. "Yeah sorry I've been really busy with Lana. A new boy just stepped in the scene and I'm not really sure what I should do to help protect her" I say and watch as he takes in the information and thinks on it for a second. "Lana has been a really good girl right? She's been respectful and honest and follows the rules, does well in school, all of that stuff right?" he asks listing off the things I've told him about before. 

"Yes, all of those are still true but I'm nervous. This Jae guy is a capital T for Trouble and I know I'm not supposed to judge but I have to discern on what exactly I'm supposed to do here. Plus her birthday is next month so hopefully I'll be materializing that day if things go according to God's plan" I say, reminding both him and myself of the sort of situation we're dealing with.

"You also have to remember she's still a teenager. Teenagers are supposed to grow up and mess up and get their hearts broken if life takes them down that path. It's perfectly normal for her to like a guy and for him to like her back. It's something new since she really hasn't shown any true interest in boys so I understand how you're feeling but just pray and watch over her. That's all you can really do until her birthday and hopefully by then you'll be able to actually help guide her if she's open to it" he says. 

Now that I think about it, I have been super on edge with her recently, even before Jae came around. Maybe I'm blowing things out of proportion. "Just watch, wait, and gather information about how their relationship grows and changes in these next few weeks so you're able to figure out a game plan before you materialize alright?" he finishes and I take it all into account. 

"Another weird thing happened today, my bracelet lit up when Lana and I were at school" I relay and I can see his face go from confused, to excited, to scared as well as a whole other range of emotions that I can't quite identify. "How could he even be there? Do you think he's materialized as someone's fallen angel? Are there even kids that are that bad at her school? I thought you said she was at a good one?" he asks, just as confused as I am.

"Doesn't mean there aren't a couple of bad eggs lost in the mix" I say, sitting down on Lana's bed to hopefully relax for a bit. "The only way that my bracelet would light up would be if he was in the same realm, correct?" I ask him to which he nods. "And when you fall you become a fallen angel, right?" to which he nods again. "So after all of these years there is still a possibility that he could've been assigned to be someone's fallen angel. Their bad influence so to say, right?" I finish. "Well yeah, but the odds of that are slim. Usually the angels who have fallen are left as slaves and can't come out of hell even if they tried" he explains. 

"Yeah but Jungkook's different, you and I both know that. He could've been taken under someones wing, for lack of a better term. They could've seen potential and drive in him. Plus his brother is there, he fell during the war between angels so he's been there since the very beginning. He could've found out that Jungkook had fallen and got him whatever job he wanted" I finish, showing Jimin the possibilities that could've caused our paths to cross again.  

Maybe all these years he's been leading people straight into the arms of Lucifer. I can't even imagine the horrors he's gone through or worse, taken part in or caused on his own. "Did you see him?" he asks the question that I knew he has been itching to ask. I shake my head and let it fall "I tried looking around but Lana had to get to class so I was stuck with her in there for an hour. When we left I kept on looking as best as I could to find him but he wasn't there". "Maybe try again tomorrow? You'll find him don't worry" Jimin reassures me and we end our call soon after that.

I check up on Lana's call and it seems like they haven't gotten up to too much mischief, just some harmless flirting here and there. "Lana! Dinner!" we both hear her mom yell. "Hey I have to go but I'll see you at school tomorrow okay?" she says, rushing to finish up so her mom doesn't get too suspicious. "Alright, goodnight Pretty" he says in a teasing tone that gives her butterflies in her stomach. "Goodnight Jae" she responds and quickly hangs up the phone before rushing downstairs. 

The next day at school Jae finds Lana in the same hallway they had met in and comes right up to her and swoops up her books again. "Hey!" she protests, trying to get them back just like yesterday. "Hello to you too Pretty" he says chuckling at her. "You really don't have to do that" she says crossing her arms awkwardly while they repeat the same steps they had done yesterday. "I know, but I want to. How did you sleep?" he questions glancing over at her while they continue on their journey. 

"I slept alright, what about you?" she asks looking at him and just now noticing the dark circles under his eyes. "I slept like a baby" he responds, clearly lying. "Are you sure? Because those bags under your eyes are telling a different story" she teases, trying not to prod but being open to the discussion. "Well for the amount of time that I did sleep, I slept like a baby" he chuckles and they continue on down the hallway.

Once they reach the classroom they do the same as before, hanging out right outside to talk when she notices a cut and a slight bruise on his cheekbone that she hadn't seen before since she had been walking on the opposite side of him. "Jae what happened?" she asks clearly concerned and on instinct grabbing his opposite cheek to keep him in place so she can inspect it. 

"It's nothing don't worry about it" he says taking her hand off his face gently and toying with her fingers. "It's clearly not nothing. Does it hurt?" she asks with her brows knitted together while she brings her other hand up and traces the area with a feather light touch. He flinches and hisses as if she's hurt him and she gets even more concerned before she realizes he's joking. "Don't do that! I'm worried about you" she says pushing on one of his shoulders a bit to which he hisses out in true pain. 

"Jae oh my gosh I'm so sorry. I-" she starts but stops when he places one of his hands on her cheek. "Don't worry about it, I'm fine" he says and makes purposeful eye contact with her, to which she decides to just look towards the floor after a second and nods, not asking any further. "Hey" he says and brings her chin back up to look at him again "Just trust me okay?" he asks and she just nods again in response. 

"I need words Pretty" he says using that pet name with her again, making her eyes widen a bit. "Okay" she agrees, "Okay what?" he says tilting his head at her in amusement, teasing to get a smile out of her. "Okay I trust you" she says, giving him that smile he was searching for. "There she is" he says, referring to her normal playful self. 

"Let's head inside okay?" he suggests and she grabs her books from him before he make moves to even push off of the wall he had been leaning against. He tries to reach out for them but she gives him a stern look telling him not to push his luck with her. "Alright alright fine" he says holding his hands up and decides to walk behind her when they walk into the classroom and follows her over to her desk. 

"Can I walk you to your next class?" he asks when she sits down and she nods in agreement but she shies away when he raises a brow at her. "Yes Jae I would love it if you walked me to class" she says and at that he gives her a half smile and runs a thumb over her cheek before he heads off to his seat. 

"My brain is total mush right now" Jae says as they finish up the lesson. "Oh come on it wasn't that bad" Lana laughs and shakes her head as they make their way over to her next class. "Hey Jae!" we all hear a voice say from behind. Even before his voice met my ears my bracelet lit up "Oh hey, give me a minute I'm just gonna walk Lana to her class" Jae says as they continue on down the hallway. "Okay, we'll be outside" he says and even though my head is telling me not to my heart has a mind of it's own making me turn to face him. 

The first thing my eyes land on is his bracelet that he seems to be fiddling with, him looking as confused as I was yesterday. No longer gold but it still sits on his wrist, beaten and tarnished so much so that it has turned into a dark matte black. Another reminder of how far he's fallen, as if his appearance and demeanor wasn't enough. 

He's dressed just like Jae, with piercings and those same burnt and twisted branches as well, his woven through other various tattoos on one of his arms of all shapes and sizes, a particular one catching my eye. He takes a look around to see if he could possibly catch sight of me but fallen angels can't see other angels until they too materialize. I can't help the few tears that fall from the shock of the state he's in especially when he heads back outside to a group of other guys dressed just like them. 

What are Jae and Jungkook involved in? And why for God's sake did he have to choose Lana?

prev / next

Series Masterlist

Taglist: @jkslipppiercing @trina864 @kaitieskidmore97 @goddesofimortality @coolbluedude @00frenchfries00 @bangtans-momma @coralmusicblaze @pastelpinkjoon @joonwater @marvelbun @j3nni-rs @evidive @beomieboi @forevrglow @jesssssmaybankk @teugiie @chaconnelatte @whoa-jo @snehal @xumyboo @mindurbuzznezz @diorh0seokie @hehurst23 @caro134340lina @ye0nvibezzn @olimpiiaa @hrtsj1m @junecat18 @ellesalazar @babycandy111 @junniesoleilkth @gyeomibearr @timorousvariance97

Join my Taglist!

Feel free to fill out the form or just comment on any of my fics to be added :)

[zaidthefeederist]

Giving in to gluttony : A fit to fat story (part 1)

We were both at the gym after work just like most days. This is where we first met. I saw you on the squat rack and was enamored by your beauty (and the perfect ass you had definitely helped). I approached you and we went on a date and had been dating since then. Though we both were fitness freaks (i still am) there's a part of me i haven't told you about. A part of me that would rather have you tied up in my bed sporting a fat belly so big it hangs to your knees. I've kept it in check for as long as i can, you had only gained 10 pounds in our 4 months together and a lot of that has been muscle definition since we started working out. Today however, it all changes. One faithful injury changes everything.

"This….freaking….sucks" I say grumpy as I sit next to you in the car. We just came back from the first aid room. I look at my leg and shake my head "no lifting, no cardio…and no rock climbing for 6 months?!" I cross my arms and sigh "That also means I really have to watch what I eat…else I end up like one of those fat girls at the gym" The other day we had been making jokes about a chubby girl that was struggling to do basic cardio

"god i know baby, its not fair at all. Not having you at the gym is going to make me lose all my motivation, not to mention who else will i make fun of the fatties with" i look to you after we both laugh to ourselves.."dont worry though babe. ill take good care of you, You know i've been making myself a better and better cook. Ill make sure your diet goes exactly according to plan.." i say as i keep my hand on your toned thigh, giving it a rub and feeling ecstatic and the though of having a home bound girlfriend for 6 whole months.

**2 weeks later**

"im so bored" I sigh before taking another cookie that you made me. "Im usually at the gym right now" Another cookie goes into my stomach. I dont seem to notice the little bit of pudge that was pressing on to my waistband when I sat down like this. You had noticed that I did a lot of "boredom eating"…and recently…I had also started snacking when I was stressed or feeling a little down.

"Im done babe!" i yell, having baked another batch of cookies. The last 2 weeks have been heavenly. Turns out when liz is left to her own devices with nothing else to do, she becomes rather peckish. Its nothing insane yet but she'll never say no to a little treat every now and then. With the absence of the gym and with me making sure to always make every meal of hers just a bit more heavy, she's managed to maintain her weight at 140 pounds albeit with a major bonus. If before she was toned and slightly muscular, now shes lost her definition and is even developing a little pudge. I see her belly pressing against her waistband as she snacks on one of the cookies i made her and see it press further and further against the band as she makes the tray of cookies magically disappear.

You always made sure to take the plates away or split it in multiple portions, so I had no idea how much I was actually eating in a day. after finishing the third tray of cookies that day you see I am rubbing my belly…I was getting full and I hadn't even eaten a meal! "My tummy is a bit upset" I say as I rub it. "better drink something" I grab the glass of soda that you had brought me. I drink all of it in one go. "I can't believe this is actually sugar free" I say surprised "it tastes like one of those cheap soda's that is super b-BRUUAUUAUAAAAAAAAAP-ad " I look wide eyed and cover my mouth with a blush "s-sorry!"

"Haha that was pretty cool!" i say immediately so as to not make you think i dislike it. I cant let you know that youve given me a hard on with that deep nasty belch, at least not yet. "I don't mind babe" i say as i nuzzle in right next to you on the bed. "in fact if anything it lets me know you really enjoyed whatever i made for you so no need to apologize." i say as i keep my hand on your bloated stuffed belly, giving it a good rub. "I guess you reallly loved those cookies huh, hehe"

"I-I do" I say blushing as you rub my belly…it felt good, but it also made me a bit aware of the fact that I was softer now. "I mean…its just not very lady like to burp like that right?" I smile as you roll your eyes at me "BRUUAAAAP…ooohhff but it does make my tummy feel better"

I moan to myself making sure you don't hear me. "I'm glad you like them" i reply, both to your answer and to that big burp you let out. We spend a few more minutes like this with me rubbing your rounded gut, making you get used to the feeling, making you love my hands on your tummy, making you know i like those un-lady like burps. Im slowly easing your mind into its new state. The state of pure gluttony. Before i get up from bed i decide to try one more thing, i grab your belly and give it a hard pinch and lean up next to your ear "You were a good girl today, keep eating like this and soon you'll be like those fatties at the gym". I whispered it and said it in a teasing tone, but i could tell by your breathing…it did its job. My eyes go wide and my face goes dark red. Did he really just say that?…Is he making a joke?…why do I like him teasing and humiliating me?! I look down and my heart beats even faster, judging by the bulge in your pants…you really liked seeing me like this. "w-what?….a-are you trying to make me fat?" I ask in a soft voice. You just smile, gently kiss my belly before squeezing it again and leave with the empty plates…Am I really going to get fat?

[zopharooni]

"Ombros"

A DMAU story, part 1/4 (next part)

Ombros.

My home.

The beauty of this land is something none of the others can compare to. The beautiful temperate rainforest, backed by the glorious mountains, with comforting clouds constantly raining down. Sure, the grey tones might not be for everyone, but the inhabitants here love it.

I am currently on the hunt for some wild crops to add to our dinner tonight. Carrots and potatoes to go with whatever hearty meat meal Spike is able to hunt. It's not like I can't hunt for meat, but it's nice to be able to just stroll through the forest and enjoy myself, not having to focus on the hunt. Gideon loves his meats while Cliff loves his plants. Despite how different they are, they are perfect for each other.

Spike and I never actually met our parents. They abandoned us by the lakeside, unable to take the responsibilities of two children. Thankfully, Gideon and Cliff found us. I am forever grateful that they were there, and they are the best dads I could ask for.

Spike and I are deer. We look very similar, but Spike is bigger, has antlers, and blue eyes as opposed to my green eyes.

Cliff is a mountain goat, native to Ombros. He has black fur, with red highlights around the edges of his hair and beard. He's big, tough, and muscular, but honestly, he's just a big teddy bear. He couldn't hurt a fly. He did teach Spike how to use the bow, though! I didn't really care to learn about it, I liked the long stabby-slashy-choppy weapons more.

Gideon is a fennec fox, with really cool purple fur. His ears are huge! They're adorable! He's still pretty muscular, but on the more lean side. He's usually the one that talks to passers by and will never let anybody walk over him. He's also the one who taught me and Spike to fight with weapons!

My train of thought is briefly interrupted as the sound of rolling thunder fills the air. Guess I gotta hurry, we might have a bad storm tonight. Here in Ombros, it's almost always raining. The plants here have adapted to it, with tall trees, dense undergrowth, and most plants having massive roots to intake the falling water. Any rain not absorbed by the plants and soil, runs off down into the lakes. Great, beautiful bodies of water. I often sit by the lake side just enjoying the view. Wherever there isn't rainforest or lakes, is smooth rock, with small veins feeding the water back down to the lakes.

Wading through leaves slightly quicker, I spot a large cluster of my targets. I begin pulling on the deep, slightly faded green of the leaves, revealing the ombrosian carrots. Here, they grow as a more amethyst colour, which I hear is different from outside the lands of the old faith. I spot some large leaves that only grow from potatoes, and pull them up as well. Their pastel brownish hue matches well with the grey colours here. I also suddenly see a glint in one of the bushes off to the side. An iridescent crystal! Sometimes colloquially called "Ombrosia", you can sometimes find crystals like these around the place, and nobody really knows where they come from. Some say they fall from the skies during storms, some say they grow to the size of a person. They are rumoured to have a variety of uses, from good luck, to healing, to even being able to cast magic spells. Regardless, I place all of the goodies into my rucksack, and begin treading back towards home.

Home. Gideon and Cliff made a nice cabin for us a decade ago, and it's perfect. Comfortable and Cosy in all the best ways, staying warm and dry. My mind lingers on them. My dads. I can never not be grateful for all they do. Their life is our family, and they would do anything and everything if it meant we were happy. One day Spike had mentioned that he wanted to be a boy. So they lost a daughter, but gained a son, and I got a brother. They didn't question a thing, they just wanted to support him. Spike! I hope he's okay! The storm can make the hunt much harder, but he's older than me, and can likely handle himself much easier.

I finally make it back to our cabin. I open the door and am immediately greeted by the smell of cooking dinner. I see Spike's bow and quiver hanging by the door, so I know he made it back safe.

"Gid! Cliff! I made it back, with a great haul to show for it!" I yell into the kitchen.

"Oh good! Get your butt over here and start helping with dinner then!" Cliff's voice echoes.

I get into the kitchen and immediately start cleaning my haul of vegetables. Cliff is assembling dishes of vegetables while Gideon is searing various meats to add to them. Spike is slightly off to the side, butchering his Bounty from the day.

Dinner is going to be awesome tonight!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for talking shit about and leaving a friend with severe mental health issues?

(CW for mental health issues, self harm, and transphobia)

For context, everyone in this story is pretty young, in Year 11/12 (American equivalent would be sophomore/junior year) and we live in a pretty religious country

I (16M) met a friend (15F) through her approaching me and saying my pins (including a pride pin) was cool. We clicked immediately, i went over for sleepovers and became close with even her mom. I only once brought up politics offhandedly, and she got quite uncomfortable, but i thought nothing of it at the time.

She constantly told me that I was her only friend who "understood" her, and would be there for her, so I never brought it up again. However, when I was introducing her to another friend (who is very gnc and identified as transfemme at the time) we opened up her youtube reccomended and it was quite literally disgusting.

JK rowling, terf videos and tradwifes galore. Candace Owens, Ben Shapiro, you name it, she had literally nothing except videos titled shit like "trans people mutilate themselves".

I was very hurt, because I happen to be trans, as well as most of my friends and my partner. I questioned her, but she pulled the "mental illness" defense. I was scared of her hurting herself so i apologised (to my other friend) and tried distancing myself from her, admittedly made a few jokes at her expense to others.

She began being more radicalised, positing insane, borderline qanon stories, but my plan to cut her off was interrupted by her going missing and me having to be the one coaxing her back to school, i felt she was too dependant on me to be as harsh as i shouldve been.

The final straw came when she 1) said she thought of my (healed) scars as something that encouraged her to self harm and 2) when i found out she outed me and my partner as T4T and queer to a random transphobic youtuber to put in a cringe compilation. this was not only immature but really dangerous to us.

Heres where I might be TA: my partner confronted her because he was worried about my mental health, and she apparently showed up to school and cried. I felt bad, but when i first found about it i laughed about it, and didnt support her even when i knew she had no other friends.

My partner asked her to either stay away from me or not express her beliefs, and as a result she called me crying that night, borderline suicidal, and in a panic I soothed her and said I wasnt going anywhere. A couple days later, a mutual friend sent me the screenshots of her outing us, and I think that sort of made me snap.

She used her religion as a shield against finding us "disgusting" and wanted a video made against us etc etc, describing horrible statistics and threats, describing "mutilation" and I felt like i couldnt endorse that attitude towards trans people in good faith, so i argued with her over text, with her accusing me of manipulating her multiple times.

Again, I mightve fucked up here because I called my friends while texting her and talked shit about her during this confrontation, sending screenshots of our private dms to them, and afterwards she became a bit of an inside joke within our friend group- she also left the school because i think she had barely any other friends.

I cant help but feel like i shoudve been more mature about it, and especially because she was ill, i dont want to be That Guy that makes fun of vulnerable people, even if she sucked herself. So, tumblr, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[marsvs-thesun]

SHIT I WOULD WANNA SEE IN A SOW REWRITE: a non exhaustive list in no particular order

(read more for length and generally being critical of SoW)

• give a name to more story relevant weapons. Voltar is cool, but I wanna know what are the names of Ingressus' kickass flame blade, and thalleous' sword, and Achillean's staff! Mostly cause I wanna refer to them more easily for Symbolism(tm)! ALSO an opportunity for Senn&Ria bonding over naming her spear!!

• SPEAKING OF SWORDS give thalleous' sword to Ria. NO HEAR ME OUT; she starts the story with her spear, sendaria burning, killing Tygren ect. When Tygren dies SHE gets the sword instead of Senn, and gives Senn her spear (from her point of view, she's giving back a weapon she trusted to protect herself, she's now protecting him and signaling that she trusts his craftsmanship. Subtextually it signify the rift that forms between them as she gets more into hunting Voltaris down and Senn gets closer to his heritage). She keeps using it throughout the story, culminating in attacking Senn with it when he surrenders in Northwind, which he deflects with the shield song like in canon. Anyways, Senn comes back from Hailstone, rejoins the group and Ria is happy but doesnt trust him the same until the Final Battle(tm). Some random element (doesn't matter what, were doing symbolism here) makes it that she loses/cannot use Thalleous' sword, at which point Senn gives/throws her her spear because PLOT TWIST: THE REAL SOLUTION WAS TO LET GO OF AN ARBITRARY SYMBOL OF STRENGHT AND INSTEAD PUT FAITH IN LOVE, TRUST AND FAMILY ALL ALONG, Pythus gets eviscerated, happy endings all around

• speaking of Ria, you might guess it from my last point but GIVE MY GIRL A CORRUPTION ARC. Gimme women's wrongs! Let me watch her go from 'i wanna be just like Thalleous (the cool ex-soldier with awesome stories)' to 'i wanna be just like Thalleous (the guy who threw a kid off a cliff)' and find herself on the way! I've heard people find her overpowered and honestly,,,, yeah kinda but idk how to fix that (also power scales aren't really real to me). You know what's real? CHARACTER ARCS. Plus free Senn angst and frankly I love that. SUBPOINT: could Herobrine be like,,, a character? You're telling me two major characters made a soul pact with a demon entity from another realm and that never paid off? What is Herobrine even gaining from this I MUST KNOW

• MAKE THALLEOUS A VILLAIN PROTAGONIST 2024 okay ik he kind of already is, and ik im basically Thalleous' number 1 hater, and ik this is my complicated relationship with my own father speaking BUT REGARDLESS. Have him do shady stuff before season 3 and just sliiiightly more often pls. Let him be a bit manipulative! Let him lie a bit more! Let him kill a disarmed opponent or strike someone in the back! Let him even be outwardly prejudiced a bit more openly. I'm not even gonna argue his responsibility in the Great War cause thats no the point but you can't tell me he isn't morally grey. Let that little bastard man shine! Honestly im (more than) a little disturbed by the narrative expecting me to a agree with a guy who preached genocide, after all we've seen him do (once again, the child yeeting wasn't great). Please just have someone tell Thalleous to fuck off. Please.

• ALMRAK SHOULD BE USING CRUTCHES OR A WHEELCHAIR INSTEAD OF A CANE. A CANE IS ACTUALLY MOST OFTEN USED FOR BALANCE ISSUES. THIS IS AN ABSENCE OF LEG ISSUE. That's it that's the point.

• ACTUALLY IM NOT DONE i find Almrak's entire character,,, strange. So the only visibly disabled character in the show is Voltari. Cool! He's the only Voltari portrayed sympathetically (Ingressus does not count, he's the main villain). Less cool! It's heavily implied the reason he's sympathetic is because he's disabled and therefore cannot fight (debatable. Give my man a crossbow). Pretty bad! I'm not physically disabled (diagnosed) myself but I am a Sufferer of some kind of chronic pain and autistic (and the mental Horrors), so idk how relevant my commentary is but there's a bunch of things I don't like here: 1) a disabled character can be optimistic for sure, I love that actually! I dont love how tied those two things are tho. Almrak is the only optimistic Voltari we meet, and while I like the trust he has in his people, his behaviour is oddly reminiscent of those inspiration porn video about how incredible it is that disabled people can be *gasp* happy. This also has the unfortunate implication that the only way a Voltari becomes trustworthy is by becoming/being made harmless? Which is kind of a reach but also tracks a little to much for comfort 2) his death (HE LIVES IN MY HEART, AND SO DOES DELTHEUS) but in canon he dies. And he does so without even really defending himself? Just lays there waiting for the sword? Not only does that seem weird at all (you have a CANE baby BEAT EM UP) it seems out of character for The Only Not Depressed Voltari to just,,, accept death. Mostly the narrative seems allergic to giving him agency. 3) he was created specifically to prove life for the Voltaris was hard (it's somewhere in the supplementals). First, do you think accidents don't happen in other Clans? Thats stupid. And second, ew. This, to me, shows that I'm supposed to look at Almrak, a character living his best life, hopeful for the future, reaping the benefits of a close knit community supporting and respecting him, and feel what, sadness? Pity? That seems incredibly disrespectful. And I say all that as an Almrak lover, he and Deltheus are among my fave. Now, thats a lot of issues but I feel like they could easily be fixed in 3 easy steps: 1) more rep. Just by adding a sprinkle of disability rep to the cast, Almrak stops sticking out like a sore thumb because he's disabled, and starts sticking out because he's a genuinely interesting character with a unique worldview. Wild i know. 2) LET HIM LIVE give him agency in this. Im not saying he should fistfight a Netheran, but let him try to flee or something. 3) now, disability can absolutely be caused by a hostile environment, there's nothing wrong with that. So my solution here wouldn't be to avoid that, but to show some other hardships as well? So it's not Just That? Like, idk, Deltheus remarking how much better the food is in Hailstone because Humans can stockpile and the Voltaris were starving before? Mentions of lacking medicine? Offhand mentions of dead family like they did for Thalleous and Galleous? Idk man, just dont let disability be the Worst Fate in your story. Please.

• Either more of the Necromancer Arc, or none at all. Listen, I love my cat girl necromancy as much as the next guy and Xaria is one of my favorite characters, but, as is, it feels disconnected from the rest of the show and not in a good way. I love the idea of having a more down to earth/everyday pov of the SGW but this Arc doesnt feel different enough to work for me. The characters arent in more danger or difficulties then in any other arc, they arent more developed (actually, kinda less. Why was Lucan in jail? why is Nikaa so anti necromancer? what even was the catalyst of the necromancer movement starting? i guess well never know those important character motivations), they don't really explore more down to earth stuff (human politics! survival in Ardonia during the War! maybe explore WHY people join factions like the Necromancer or the Legion!!) and, because SoW as a story is so focused on individual actions and heros, and the Arc offers neither those nor its own flavor, it ends up feeling pretty redundant, which is a shame. I guess a way to fix this would be to actually lean in to it's separate aspect and maybe focus on the building of a revolt against the Nether (and mayyyybe link that with what the necromancers had going on? maybe? Who am i kidding they'll never give my blorbos the love they deserve. Xan, Xaria, no one gets you like i do)

• I do not know how to fix the K'arthen arc. I do not know if the K'arthen arc can be fixed. To whomever is out there trying to fix the K'arthen arc: you are an endlessly brave individual and i send you power on this journey.

Aight that's it for now :) there's way more (i havent even touched my beloved abbigail!! barely touched on the voltaris!!) but im trying to stick to canon. feel free to agree/disagree/add your own stuff!! i havent read the script in a while too, so i most likely forgot stuff

@minecraftfanatic your turn ;)

[katyspersonal]

Continuation of the previous post about SOTE adventures from today! (More like the end)

1) So, after finally trying to fight on Torrent and beating Tree Sentinel very quickly without even getting hit myself, I've gotten a BRILLIANT IDEA to try and battle Gaius like this too. That was really pointless. In fact, I just spent the next hour pushing for it and not getting further than reducing his HP to like 60%... Because you know, doing the same thing over and over and OVER hoping that this time the result will be different is definition of insanity. XD

2) Eventually I gave up and tried something else. In this case, to relocate my stats; I have 80 Int as sorcery user, but here it was useless, so I relocated these stats and some extra in those I needed more.

So, uh... Good news: turned out that Int reduces magic damage, so my 80 Int was crucial for surviving his attacks. Bad news: I wasted 2 Larval Tears to learn this lesson. 🤡🤡🤡

3) I tried to do more stuff and the very last thing I tried was to give Mimic Tear Morgott's blade to spam fire attacks, while I have shield and stab him with Scarlet Rot. I've already noticed that fire was dealing much more damage, but by that time @jarognieva whom I asked for help answered me!! So, we cooperated!

4) .....

Turned out that she forgot to change her name from МАМКА ТВОЯ)))0)0)0)0) АХАХПЖПЛАОП

(It says 'your mum' XDDDD)

5) Jara also confirmed that this boss WAS weak to fire and holy, so that sealed the deal with Morgott's blade! I legit didn't have a better fire skill weapon on hands.

6) We made a great attempt at first, she is very strong with holy attacks! We only lost because earlier I relocated all flasks to Crimson, so I ran out of skill and could not use it again because I didn't have any Cerulean (🤡🤡🤡)

7) BUT WE WOOONNN OH MAN WE WON

(Damn, how does Messmer keep attracting so many friends? I read it as both them being cursed and being close with THE war person (Radahn) were important here)

@jarognieva YOU ARE SUPER HELPFUL HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THAT GDHYGGHTGFH AAAA I WAS SUFFERING FOR GOOD HOUR AND MORE ON THIS BOSS!!!!!! POWER OF FRIENDSHIP BITCHES!!!

(Also it was the second time we started to aggressively smash jump button after beating the boss XD It should become the running gag now! Or should I say..... the jumping gag? *gets shot*)

8) I was ready to go for the day since it is late and I need to cherish what little sleep I can have, so for the last instance I decided to go and check new stuff at Enia's!

Not much to add here, though seems like it would be a good spell for my random surprise Faith build moments! Though two overlapping stalks repeating the Erdtree pattern did remind me of that overlapping serpents symbol from previous post.

I was JUST questioning what weapon would actually WORK while I am fighting on Torrent! Thank you king xd

So he invented that cool sorcery while trying to prove Radahn that he was a better sorcerer!

9) Interestingly enough, first at Enia's I only could find Gaius head, chest and arm pieces but not the leg one!

I wondered if something was wrong with that! The description did mention that he was one with his boar after all! My assumption was that simply his set was not going to have the legs piece, but... it did!

10) So, outside of the area where we battled him, surprisingly there was an ALBINAURIC WOMAN! Just a normal one, riding a wolf and all!

And she dropped... this:

Ohhhh boy. So Albinaurics can't wear boots and pants, now? Oh boy. Well, I told that Loretta was likely not an Albinauric, but the girls didn't believe me. 🌛 This feels like it confirms this! Like I said, she is oddly similar to Dung Eater in cosplaying the species she is protecting vghhggh What a realization....

11) So Albinaurics were pretty much servants for Carians (like Pidiya), and Rykard straight up tortured them, so that makes the fact that one was like an older brother for Radahn interesting..? Perhaps, a glimpse on the "kinder former self" of Radahn that presumably was "lost" to war-mongering (if not some corruption due to wrestling with the Stars)? If Miquella yearning for younger version of Radahn (as far as I got spoilered) is any indication?

12) Another one for that type of talismans is also found nearby:

13) The reward at the end was 5 Scadutree Fragments! Yaaay!!! All scattered near 'Scadutree Chalice'. What an object 🤔

_____________

So yeah, a lot of optional stuff was tackled today! It is so satisfying to finally adapt to a hard boss and defeat them, really. For real, Soulsborne games do not need difficulty selection.