#it also gave me hope that i can be a concept artist in the future

[wecantspeakbutwecandraw]

one of my fav Abzû scene. i fell in love with this game a long time ago and it still has a place in my heart

[driftwithme]

Right now I'm kinda sick which means I have no brainpower to talk about this properly or at least how I want to.

Subject at hand: Mako, Chuck and Raleigh all had an specific item in the movie that kinda explains or contains them as characters.

Mako and her relationship with swords is the obvious example. If you'll permit me to call it her motif, then let that be it. For the sake of storytelling, Mako is given an object that is the summary of her struggles and dreams, of her traumas and her hope. Swords are part of her heritage, given that his dad dedicated his life to making them. An item capable of both great damage and impossible beauty, the movie even adapts it to be more like the girl itself: chainswords that stay hidden and silently away for their turn to strike, capable of flexibility and quick adaptation, they are almost unbreakable, used to support others in need, cut straight through the heart of the enemy and provide a sure win even under great underwater pressure or up in the sky.

Mako is the girl welding the sword and she's the one crafting the sword from scratch designing it and she's the sword itself, okay?

Mako's a weapon in the context of she being a soldier. She's deadly, trained to kill, efficient with a perfect score in combat simulations, one of the brightest in the Jaeger Program. But she is also a craft in the sense of being someone intricate, because her story is way more complex than people imagine. She is beautiful as a woman, delicate in her ways of treating others, elegant in her movements...

In this case, the objectification serves a more artistic purpose. Whenever you think of the chainsword, you think of Mako and the other way around. Her scene killing Otachi in the name of her family is her breakthrough in the movie, where she achieves her dream/goal, when all she has gone through pays off. Then the scene where she uses the chainsword to oin Slattern to G. Danger is the culmination of her arc to say so: now she will kill the Kaiju that killed her adoptive father and will finally put an end of the apocalypse.

Without having to make it explicit in the film, you know that Mako gave those chainswords to G. Danger during the restoration program hoping that it'd be somehow her jaeger, that she'd finally become a ranger piloting it, etc.

Now, I said something similar can be found looking at the depiction of both Chuck and Raleigh in the movie. That's because, to me at least, the narrative does something similar in Chuck-Max and Raleigh-his photographs.

Raleigh is our narrator, our protagonist, we see the world through his eyes. I guess the thesis hear is that Raleigh is the man behind the camera, guiding our perception of this fictional world. Photographs can be intimate, int he way they reveal the interest of the one taking them. In sharing with us the concept of Raleigh having photography as his hobby, the story reveals us a man oriented to details and sensitive to the art of framing an instant, telling a story in one snap.

It also tells just how sentimental he is, how much he loved his home, his brother, 'cause he was surviving with rations at the end of the world but wherever he traveled, he took his pictures with him, put them on the walls of his residency. He's then a man who likes to take a look at the past. He said it himself: he spent 5 years on the past, never thinking of how the future would be. Nostalgic or even melancholic, but ultimately willing to make new good and bad memories and capture them for posterity. Loyal, down to earth in the sense that he knows where he came and what made him the way he is, sensible and patient, likes walking around cities or touring maybe, which is interesting really. For all the cocky American dream of a man the movie suggests he was, he didn't have posters of action movies or pics of him in fights or any of that. He had pics of architecture, nice tiny shots that suggest calmness, a steady hand and a more passive spirit. It really matches Mako Mori in that sense.

I could dive more into the subjects of how his photographs characterize Raleigh Becket, but I'm not lying when I say I'm feeling sick and my brain is kinda foggy.

I'll close this post talking about Chuck and his relationship with Max instead.

One of the first things I noticed on my last rewatch is just how many times Chuck and Max are practically switching roles in the film

As in Chuck gets treated like a dog and Max gets treated like a son. As in they are one and the same sometimes, given that Max is the vehicle of Chuck's repressed emotions, since he refuses to let them out openly. As in Max is the representation of the intricate rituals the Hansens use to communicate the things they cannot say but want to.

I'll try explain it quickly using two scenes from the movie, okay?

First one: when Pentecost and Mako were showing Raleigh the jaeger bay on the Hong Kong Shatterdome and the Hansens arrived just in time to greet the newcomer, Herc tells someone to stay but he is not talking to Max.

His clipped tone given as a short command surprised me because it sounded like the one you'd give your dog when you see someone or some other dog approaching. Now, if you know your dog is a troublemaker and if you have trained, you could give the command to tell him to stay away from the trouble.

But Max runs freely to Mako and Herc only jokes about how Max is always slobbering over pretty girls, a comment you'd expect from a dad about his teenage son. He doesn't tell Max to stop. He doesn't even look at the dog as he's talking with Raleigh.

The one who stayed behind, grounded, was Chuck. This alone tells us so much about the Hansens and their stiff relationship. Chuck is the dog who might bite, the one you need to pull the leash to avoid him attacking. Herc is not a perfect man but here it's obvious he did fuck up as a dad. He gives orders like he's a commander and Chuck a subordinate. Stay.

(I can't remember exactly the dialogue, so you might forgive any discrepancy. What I know is that Herc told Chuck to stay behind while he greeted Raleigh, meaning that Herc knew Chuck might cause a scene. What did he know about Chuck and Raleigh and why did he tell Chuck to stay behind?).

The second scene: on the farewell moment before Operation Pitfall, Chuck kneels to pet Max one last time and tells him to take care of Herc (or was it the other way around?).

I choose this moment to defend my point because here? Here Chuck is assigning Max as his replacement. Not in the mean way, of course, but he acknowledges that his dad might lose his only son and trying to soften the blow, he gives Herc one last mission: to take care of Max and also let Max take care of him. Max is an extension of Chuck, so it's a way of saying that their bond stays there and they will ALWAYS take care of each other, it doesn't matter if Chuck dies during Pitfall.

It's also telling that Chuck kneeling to pet Max is a metaphor for Chuck asking Herc for forgiveness. All his intentions go to Max in that sense. Now Chuck has become Max and Max will always be Chuck. Now, man and dog are one, because the dog has taken Chuck's place as Herc's son and Chuck is the dog that gets send to die at the bottom of the ocean, some fucked up version of Laika up in space.

That's why we see almost every pilot eating at least once in the movie, but not Chuck. He was feeding Max and once it was over, they both walked away like the food was not on Max's belly but Chuck's. That's why Max and Chuck almost never interact with someone at the same time.

Chuck is the kid who got instructed but not raised by his dad. He's the war dog with an impressive killing count that doesn't get to brag because he barks too much and he's not nice to strangers. He is, to any means, just an scared animal behaving like he was taught to. He is confused and jealous when Herc gives his attention (and affection in Chuck's eyes) to someone else. Chuck is desperate to be told he's a good boy, he's enough, he's loved and appreciated. He lashes out when he feels threatened or cornered and he gives puppy eyes meaning "sorry" when he knows he has fucked up, etc etc etc.

An if it feels abhorrent to reduce Chuck to the role of a dog, it speaks volumes about the way he got treated in the movie. In the end, the only thing he really wins during the movie is to be called his father's son. You can argue "but Shan, doesn't he also wins the respect of most characters?" and I'd tell you that it's a sad sad thing that the only way you can get others to acknowledge you as a good man is by exploding yourself at the bottom of the ocean.

I'm not talking about Mako or Raleigh here, because through Max, we know that Mako and Chuck could be friends but in the movie all we get is a tense relationship summarized in maybe one exchange of words (that got Chuck beaten up by the way). And when it comes to Raleigh, all the resolution we got was a silent apology and the equally silent acceptance of such after the Double Event, if we don't count that Chuck was on Raleigh's left side during Stacker's motivational speech

But you know those metaphors of pets being like children? From that angle, Pentecost and Herc are always treating Chuck as an spoiled brat. Which he is, but c'mon. It's not like Herc can talk much being that he failed Chuck big time and it's not like Pentecost wasn't there to witness how the youngest ranger ever to be graduated survived 5 years of actual hell and achieved the best killing count. You don't get there for being a kid. You don't go so far without maturing hard and fast. Chuck is not some annoying puppy picking fights because he's bored. He let's Max sleep and eat and okay to his liking because that's the side that Chuck himself can't be: carefree, soft, selfish in the sense of being self-indulgent.

Mako had to shape herself into a sword to avenge her family and make justice and even survive in a world that tried to kill her when she was still just s little child. Raleigh had to freeze his memories in photographs because he's by now used to tragedy and not having enough time, things ending fast, his happy days going away, losing his home and family. Chuck gave his dog the comfortable life he wishes he could have, he devoted himself to the task of giving Max all that he felt Herc failed to give him, and finally gave Max his place as Herc's son.

Which yeah, pretty much is what I tried to say in many clumsy words ejdjdkjfkfkdn:

Mako, Chuck and Raleigh all had an specific item in the movie that explains or contains them as characters.

[jsuika]

JUST FOUND YOUR BLOG AND I LOVE YOUR ART!!!!

Your line art is so smooth and the colors too! How are u underrated

Thanks :]]

Actually I remember doing thick linearts before to make it look like y2k bubbly styled and I was thinking of going back again since I wanted to make logos or icons like this one:

These ig were just a lil practice if someday I'll be making one (or more of these). Also this is just an example btw, these are artist-made game icons. Imo, if it were me to be commissioned to design one or if I was assigned by a game dev, then most likely its gonna look like something that y'all won't know who did that thing lol.

Besides, I'm pretty sure a lot of people were inspired by my artstyle. 😭 Also in case you guys don't know what these are, I'll show you guys mine. (NOTE: You can still check on archive, I don't mind though-)

Examples of my artworks with thick lineart:

The first one was Hatsune Miku fanart

I kinda remember drawing this back in the day since 2023, the sketch version (on my other sketchpad) was discontinued. Supposed to finish it but, sadly I gave up because the hair was something that reminded me of an Inkling from Splatoon (rarely I noticed the first miku fanart also reminded me too lmao).

I wish I'd do this again hopefully if I could use my artstyle, then yeah. Watch here if you want to see the speedpaint :3 : https://youtu.be/sRE3-snDGkM?si=op3tISbGFTjLCcdB

Next one is Bomb Rush Cyberfunk fanart

Okay LISTEN, I may not be good at anatomy but might as well tried especially RED's head. For the BG, I only duplicated the character + added a screenshot/fakescreenshot/whatever, to make it look related to both y2k & frutiger aero (same applies to Hatsune Miku).

Nothing to say much but I've been thinking of making more character concept arts in the future & maybe work on shoes since they look a bit too complicated much.

Overall, I'd say it isn't bad. I'll just leave as it is for now (until some BRC fan shows up and sees this).

Last but not the least, my very first artist-made album cover

I remembered drawing this for future use if I ever find a music composer either if they can do DnB, game soundtrack or whatever but it slightly depends on them. Also shout out to Lxchee Music! They're the ones who compose music like these. They even commented on my speedpaint video!!! (after using their songs lol).

Such a shame that I am limited to drawing only however, I wish I also was a composer of this whooooooole album then everyone's gonna listen to my bangers. One time I used to make music in Beepbox.co (a website where you can compose there).

There are some music-composing softwares that most people use for their game making & also songs. I wish I'd even use FL studio or other music-composing. Reminds me, I also have one friend who makes music (unrelated to dnb or any genre) using accordian & any other instruments that he uses. I swear, he is so good in composing Nintendo Orchestra-music related I can tell.

Conclusion

No worries though, I didn't say I hate using thick lineart but its sometimes too much for the anatomy still and might not fit pretty well. I can still do another one hopefully just to focus on more y2k aesthetic. But if it were me to learn anatomy, might as well use thin lineart and just increase to make it look like there is perspective on it.

Anyways, ig this might be a long one but I do hope you understand what I mean-

[crazypossumman]

I’ve been working with kids for about two months now…

And, honestly, I have learned so much from this experience. I took this job because I needed a job, and I had connections at the school that almost ensured I would be hired. My job is primarily helping kids with learning disabilities and/or behavioral issues, primarily in grades K through 3. A large chunk of them are children with autism or similar conditions, with some more severely disabled kids mixed in.

Up until this point, I have wondered why anyone in their right mind would work with children. Now, I know why.

When I watch a kid take a fall playing football at recess and all of his friends pick him up and brush the grass off of him before getting him back in the game, I am reminded that all people start good.

When I see kids working so hard to include their “different” classmates, I realize how far we have come as a society. When I was in elementary school just over a decade ago, we rarely interacted with our disabled classmates. They were almost always in a different room. But these teachers not only include their disabled students, but they also make a point to teach the class that being different doesn’t make someone “wrong.” They explain that different students have different needs, and the kids understand and accept that.

When my students smile and give me a hug upon seeing me, I know that I’m making an impact on their lives. As hard as I may push them some days, they still appreciate me. I am a friend as much as I am a teacher.

When students approach me to talk about difficult experiences in their lives, I realize that I am a trusted adult. I am someone they can tell about their experiences and feelings. I am someone who they trust to help them through things that may be difficult.

When I find a common interest with a student (usually when they find out I like art), I can tell I am inspiring them to continue. When they ask me how to draw things and I encourage them through the process, I know that I am inspiring someone who may grow up to be an amazing artist. I might be the reason, when some of them look back on their lives, that they devoted time and effort to hone their skills.

When difficult concepts like racism are brought up (typically not directly as they are kindergartners, but the injustices of the past certainly come up when talking about topics like Thanksgiving), I see children respond with things along the lines of, “That is so sad.” And I know that these kids will think twice when they hear racist rhetoric. I know they will be able to empathize with people who gave faced injustices.

When we teachers use rhetoric like, “I know it is hard, but you can do hard things,” I can see that we are inspiring these young people to push themselves. To work toward their goals. To believe they can accomplish things they may see as impossible.

Sure, when they yell and scream and bicker and tattle and throw things, they are SUPER annoying. I won’t deny that. But when I see them chose to take a deep breath and calm down rather than argue with a classmate, I can see we are helping to raise emotionally mature children who will become emotionally mature adults.

And in the society we live in, that is so important to me. It has in many ways given me hope that future generations may just be able to do what we are seeking to do.

They just might raise further emotionally healthy children.

They just might work to correct the injustices of the past.

They just might save the world.

And I may not see the day that that happens. But I am content in being part of that ripple effect and its unlimited potential. And I can see so clearly why people choose to work with children.

[brandonjohnbarnard]

Webs

I have started committing fully to the process of, while I am reading a book or into a topic, creating a web of each element that interests me via Clip Studio.

This formed, like many academic practices, as a solution to a problem. I wanted to see which ideas/people/events were linked to each other, and by making the connection, what new ideas emerged. Sort of like doing chemistry in the dark, I would grab two elements on different sides of the spider diagram, and ask the question ‘how are these connected?’.

Sometimes, there is none, or at least none that do not make me come across as someone rambling to themselves on the bus. Though, when there are, its impossible to un-see the connections.

Originally, this process was done with mostly my (digital) notes, with some multimodal elements such as screenshots.

What stopped me from embracing this type of learning method in the past was 2 primary concerns.

Searchability: with this type of web, there is no ‘ctrl + f’ to quickly find specific words or themes, meaning that for a quick reference it does not do as well as a word document. Though, I have come to learn that this is its strength. By looking at the web, and following its connections, new ideas are continuously forming with each inspection. In a way, it is a living document.

Finite Space: since these files exist as images, there is a limit to how large they can become. This is due to: the time it takes to save an image causing potential corruptions/crashes, what file types it can be saved as becomes reduced as the file size increases, space between connections becomes too compact. Etc.

There are solutions to the finite space problem, such as using an alternative software that is built for spider diagrams, but that always tends to result in some form of freedom-restriction, e.g. dealing with its method of classing/hierarchy, not having certain mediums allowed.

Also, from an authorship standpoint, using these systems felt less me. Less personal. I want to be able to doodle, be silly, or include images of people and concepts on tangentially related without the entire system feeling off.

Then, something happened to me which had not happened before. I realised, that a lot of my works, from lots of separate university modules and projects, had two shared elements — the theme of chance, and the medium of film. As such, I decided to write a PhD proposal looking into a merging or these 2 domains.

With this, I had to write a 6000 word piece in a short time, so I did not have as much time to prep and make a new web like I normally would. So, I instead looked at all of my previous webs I had made in the past. To my surprise, I was making connections between different webs, and a new meta-web formed. This, in effect, pulled the bandage off of worrying about sticking to one shared web with everything.

...

When reading around ‘chance’, I had stumbled upon the nouveau réalisme movement. It sounded interesting, so I did something relatively new to me, and I just started a new document looking into the same topic of ‘chance’, but from a different place. Rather than writing out my ideas first, I copied and pasted multiple Wikipedia articles.

When I read about an artistic work that sounded interesting, I would look it up and paste it in for extended context. Same with locations, publications, etc. It moved more away from word connections, to a type of Dada collage of things.

...

Now, when it comes to reading a book, I do the same thing as the Wikipedia articles.

Read the work

Create Physical Note

Insert both ‘the book’ and ‘the physical note’ into digital web.

Make connections between concepts within web.

Create digital notes around the nature of the connections, as well as include other image elements where appropriate.

...

I’m sure this process will evolve further in the future, but I am having a lot of fun with it.

I hope this maybe gave you some ideas of how to manage theme connections. Let me know if you have any thoughts regarding this!

[irritablepoe]

Hey I've seen your gift struggles and as someone whose love language is gift giving I want to share the concept of the "gift stash". I got really anxious when I had to find a gift for someone and I had little time for it. So I came up with this. Let's say your friend likes...lamps, for example. And one day you come across this really cute lamp with the shape of a kitty. You are sure your friend will like it, but their birthday is in like...11 months. What I usually do is buy it anyways (if I can afford it, of course). I put it in the "specific gift stash". A cupboard, a specific place for storing future gifts. I no longer have to worry about that. And then after 11 months, gift it. Let's put now another situation. You see a something you could give as a gift to almost anyone (a cool book holder, funny socks, a mug, a tote bag...you get the idea). Speaking of Tote bags, they are my go-to general gift, since they're not awfully expensive (depending on the place), there's a lot of designs and it's something everyone will give use to. Then I'd buy it and save it in the "general gift stash". You have to gift something to an acquaintance, someone who you don't really know? Get them something from the general gift stash. The general gift stash is meant as a safe gamble. They're not bought with someone specific in mind.

There's also the option of making something with your own hands - to non-artists (or if you can't make art / write on a rush) I usually suggest Hama beads since they're fairly easy and quick to make cute pixel art charms with.

I hope my yapping helps and doesn't bother you. My genuine intention is helping and I love giving gifts ⊂⁠(⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠*⁠⊂⁠)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is an awesome idea anon!!! i've heard of a list with the same concept before but tbh i forgot about it and sometimes things aren't available after a while anymore. this is a really cool concept i think and it actually gave me some ideas hehe :3 and yeah i typically always write them a very artsy letter as well (i didn't for the last two years though idk, at least not such a long one yk but maybe i should try and pick it up again)

thank you so much anon, you're so sweet!!! and i'm sure your friends love your gifts AND YOU ofc😌🙏

[desirepathzine]

In attempting to live a fuller life off of the internet, I've been reading a lot more poetry. It started as attempting to microdose reading more words on a page without feeling the obligation of finishing a book or dedicating a larger amount of time to what I know will be a thriller that will devour my whole day. having my forseeable future deciated to a book used to be one of the great joys in my life when I was a kid, setting aside days to read whatever I had found in my latest trip to BooksAMillion with my dad (Always BAM, their discount section was unrivaled in my younger years).

I'm an adult with a job and three side gigs now. Always the sdie gigs. Always the hustle. One of those gigs, the one that I have a degree in, is acting, which also requires a large amount of reading and comprehending text on a deep level. A specialty in Shakespeare has given me reader's burnout that I have never experienced. It hurts. Reading was such a huge part of my identity as a kid through my teens. I was part of my library's teen advisory board, creating programs and picking materials that would line the shelves. Suddenly i couldn't get myself to participate, didn't have the money to buy books, and often returned library finds without cracking the cover.

It all felt daunting. It still does sometimes.

I'd always had a minor interest in poetry but was somewhat bullied and teased out of it by family and fellow readers. And indeed, the average poetry book that can be found in the local target is not very artistically fulfilling, living in the age of the instagram poet with Procreate drawings in the margins that didn't really do anything for me. Couple that with a few amateur slam poetry competitions I attended and I brushed off the concept of being INTO poetry for many years.

Even as Shakespeare burned me out of reading, it gave me new insight into poetry. And then I decided to throw myself into it more in late 2023, after stumbling upon a poem I loved deeply as a teen, Wilfred Owen's Maunday Thrusday. It remains my favorite poem of all time, although I am finding more and more stiff competition in my studies.

This, along with wishing I could stop staring at screens before bed, led me into tasking myself with reading a few poems while I laid in bed waiting for sleep. I found a collection of Rilke poems while traveling the Midwest, a poet I only really knew for being tattooed on Lady Gaga, and put it on my bedside table in hopes it would take.

Miraculously, it did.

Rilke's Duino Elegies have captured my imagination more than some novels I've ready in my life. Full of angels and the ocean and the sky, gracefully swooping between grand statements and personal anecdotes. Modern and classic all at the same time.

A friend recommended Rumi if I liked Rilke so much, which is where I am now. Rumi's work perfectly suits my current approach, a little before bed, maybe read in the bathtub if I have a good bath bomb at the ready.

I have always loved mysticism and deep religious ties and Rumi is very transporting in this way. He is both full of simple immediacy and deep wonderful layers to delve deep into. It's about being in love, with solitude, with another, with yourself. How wonderful.

It assuages nightmares, it makes life sunnier, it's ownderufl.

As many people are looking to divest from 24/7 screentime, I truly believe poetry is one of the best ways to start that journey, to touch some more grass, so to speak. Find what you love, seek it out, keep it by your bed.

[ronaldanthony4]

finally March, the start of my favourite time of year. The weather begins to warm up, and the world awakens from its winter slumber. For me, March marks the beginning of what I like to call "having a fun season." It's a time for adventure, exploration, and most importantly, spending quality time with friends. As the months go by, I always look forward to the laughter, inside jokes, and unforgettable memories of this season. March is just the beginning of all the fun that's in store for me in the coming months.

But March holds even more significance for me this year. It's also the international month of femininity, and I couldn't let it pass without doing something special. I decided to bring together five of my beloved original characters, each unique and representative of different aspects of femininity. They are Liliana, Penny, Evelyn, Sandra, and Ella - collectively known as "ASLEEP," an acronym made from the first letter of each of their names, including their only male member Arlon.

I wanted to create something truly remarkable, a piece of art that would showcase their individuality and sisterhood. I spent hours brainstorming ideas until I finally settled on a concept: two versions of the same artwork, both featuring the five girls. In one version, they would be dressed in stylish strapless short baby doll dresses, strolling through a colourful mall; in the other, they would be completely naked, surrounded by nature in a serene lush garden. The contrast between the two settings highlights the versatility and diversity of women, and how they can thrive in any environment.

As an artist, I'm constantly looking for ways to improve my craft and push myself creatively. Recently, I discovered an incredible tool that utilizes AI technology to enhance and de-noise artwork, called "BigJPG." With this software, I can digitise my traditional inked outlines without worrying about captured dust or rough strokes. The possibilities are endless! I was eager to test this new method on my latest project and see if it lived up to its promise. I began by drawing and inking the body bases on paper, just as I did in the past.

However, for the faces, I opted to use my current Android tablet. My first attempt left me feeling hopeful but also aware of areas where I could improve. The lines were cleaner and sharper, but I realized that I needed to switch to a 0.5 fine liner pen to achieve the desired effect. The final result reminded me of the style in the animated series "My Little Pony," with bold outlines that gave the characters a playful, vibrant appearance. Overall, the combination of traditional and digital techniques allowed me to experiment and refine my artwork in a new way.

Although the new method reduced the time spent inking by half, it still took me two hours to complete the faces of the group. Colouring them took me from morning till noon, but the result was well worth it. Seeing the five girls come to life on my screen filled me with pride and satisfaction. Their distinct personalities shone through, and the contrast between the two versions was striking. The combination of traditional and digital techniques added depth and dimension to my artwork, enhancing the overall visual impact. I am excited to see how this hybrid approach will further elevate my creative process and final pieces in the future.

This experience taught me that sometimes taking risks and trying new things can lead to amazing breakthroughs. I plan to continue creating group artwork, possibly once or twice a week, using this innovative technique. It's exciting to think about the potential it holds and the opportunities it opens up for me as an artist. As I sit here admiring the finished pieces, I feel grateful for these five OCs that I brought to my creative endeavours. They represent the spirit of friendship and unity that makes this time of year so special.

Here's to March, femininity, and the power of art to bring people together. Cheers!

[mocha-mochii-blog]

Why we miss hyyh so much

The 2015-2016 (Most beautiful moment in life up until you never walk alone) music videos contain so much backstory and lore to theorise about

The narrative and conceptual styles felt so meaningful like a fictional movie and artistic expression.

I do think that after the bbmas in 2017 BTS shifted their concepts and subject matter to be more about their audience and relationship to their fans. It became more about being an army than appreciating the art (no matter how much I still love them)

I can tell they each still have this capacity for depth of expression and creativity with the ability to be authentic and make really good art. I just hope they can have the space away from the industry, the ideas that come with being a boyband, and the fans that can be really difficult to ignre

In their 9th anniversary dinner video, the boys talked about how they had run out of creative inspiration due to being so busy and overworked. This was mosty what namjoon and yoongi said because they have historically been behind a large proportion of the songwriting and conceptual drive for the band.

I feel like if BTS get a proper real break, they can live their lives and read more books and see more art and find more inspiration personally. They just seem so burned out right now and it makes me sad because I love them so much. Being treated like a product for quick consumption must be really hard to deal with when you're a whole human with so much depth and talent and and thoughtfulness.

Without rambling about my full analysis of the hyyh storyline and how special it is

The style of that era is deliberately nostalgic and wistful, with themes like the idea of youth, passing time, being forever changed by events in our lives.

They created a nostalgia for the present at the time. And now that it is in the path, and feels further away the nostalgia has become true, and now we really ae yearning for the most beautiful moment in life not to be gone

Although I like how they assured us that the most beautiful moment is yet to come. Their proof album gave me a lot of hope (jhope) that in the future they will return to whatever magic was happening during hyyh and wings.

There have been exceptions since like black swan and fake love, but despite how proud I am of them, there's still this twinge of tragedy to their irreversible fame.

Because they didn't have to break through into superstardom to be loved and fulfilled.

It feels like JHope tackles this feeling I his new album Jack in the Box. Where he talks about his explosion into fame like pandora opening a box. You get so curious and then let out so much bad that cannot be put back in the box. It cannot be undone. But she also released the butterfly of hope, that reassures me that they are not giving up on being authentic.

Sidenote: I'm a musician too and I've heard people in the music industry talk about how even though a catchy basic song might reach more people (take dynamite or butter) it's the genuinely good, high quality and well-made music and art that reaches people's hearts and creates loyal fans.

[itsallyscorner]

Being A Singer Who Is Part Of The Marvel Cast

Pairing: Marvel Cast x reader

Prompt: What it’s like to be a singer who is also a Marvel actress.

Warnings: none! This isn’t really a teen!reader, but it can be!

Side note: I’m using Ari’s music, so just pretend you’re Ari or something😂😂 Should I write imagines about this?

(Ya’ll already know I had to use my bby Ari😌)

(Gif from Pinterest)

Being a singer and joining the MCU was actually quite nerve wracking.

You weren’t sure if anyone would take you seriously and that everyone would just see you as some singer who got casted into the movie because you were well known.

In fact, Kevin Feige casted you because you represented the character you were auditioning for so well.

You remember your first day on set and how nervous you were to be surrounded by so many talented actors. You kept to yourself and sat by the sidelines while everyone reunited with each other.

I feel like Mark or Robert might come up to you first. They would probably approach you and be all like, “Hey! My kids listen to your music and I have to listen to your voice 24/7! It’s nice to finally meet you!”

Anthony would probably join in and be like, “Aye, I know you from the radio. You sing that one song that’s goes like, ‘I want it, I got it’. Right?”

After some introductions and filming scenes together, you’d feel comfortable with your new friends. Especially after some of them fangirled over you.

Tom (Holland) most definitely fangirled over you, I just feel it😂😂

A few years later they would become your most supportive and dedicated fans (and family).

They’re probably even more dedicated than your fans.

Whenever you drop a new single or a music video, expect them all to share it on every social media account they have.

Tom Hiddleston, who’s barely on social media, would come on just to promote your stuff.

@/ChrisEvans: Hey everyone! Just came to say that @yourtwitterhandle just dropped a new music video and you should all see it! You won’t regret it! Amazing as always @yourtwitterhandle 💙💙💙

@/RobertDowneyJr: The talented and oh so beautiful @yourtwitterhandle just released a music video for her new single! Go ahead and see for yourself to experience the greatness of (y/n)! I’m proud of you sweetheart!❤️

They would even share it on their Instagram stories and post about it because they’re so proud of you🥺

Sebastian and Tom (Holland) would probably post videos of them jamming to your song and yelling at people to listen to it.

Video: Sebastian with 34+35 blasting in the background, “GO LISTEN TO (Y/N)’S NEW ALBUM POSITIONS! DO IT! NOW!”

If you release an album while working on a Marvel movie, they would have little release parties with the whole cast and crew of the movie.

They will have a countdown on some projector and once it hits one everyone would scream and hug you. Then you guys would listen to the whole album with no stops.

When they see you writing in your journal during breaks on set, they would ask if you’re writing new songs.

Sometimes they would even help you brainstorm for lyrics or a concept for a song.

I feel like Evans would be really good at this because he’s good with words.

When they hear you humming something that doesn’t sound familiar they would ask you if it’s a new song.

Scarlett and Lizzie were always excited to hear your stuff.

“Oooo, is that a new song?”

“Come on, (y/n)! Can we get a little snippet please?”

“We promise to not leak it like last time!”

“Yeah! Neither Mark or Tom are here, you’re all good!”

Tom or Mark definitely leaked a few of your songs by accident. Not that they did it on purpose, they just recorded things at the wrong times.

When you sang they would always be quiet and just listen to your voice.

Whenever you hit a high note or sang something that was a bit sassy, there were always some reactions.

Chadwick would really listen to your stuff and just feel the music. When he’s done listening to a song, he would hug you and praise you on how good you did.

Anthony was always your hype man, whether you were singing or answering a question about your music, he will hype you up whenever he can.

“Mmm that’s right, sing it girl.”

“Damn, ya’ll heard that note?!”

“That’s right! Number 1 album in the world, baby. Get with it.”

“Ya’ll heard her right, five Grammy nominations. Gimme some.” He’d brag while fist bumping you.

Sometimes you would catch them singing one of your songs and you would feel all warm and giggly inside because it makes you happy that they enjoy your music.

When you guys aren’t filming and you’re off on tour, they would come to the shows that are in their city or whatever is nearest to them.

Sometimes you wouldn’t even expect them to be there and would be caught off guard while you’re singing.

For example, you were doing a show in New York and all of a sudden you see Paul Rudd just jamming to Thank U, Next in the pit.

“I know they say I move on too fast, but this one gon’ last. ‘Cause her name is— Paul?”

Whenever you guys are promoting new Marvel movies on morning/late night shows, you were always the musical guest.

They were always excited to see you perform. They loved to see you in your element because you always looked like you were having fun and so free. You always stunned them with your talent.

They could never wrap their heads around how you could sing and dance while having so much energy on stage, it truly boggled with their minds.

When they were asked about your music career, they would always say good things because it was true.

RDJ: “She’s just so talented. Like at such a young age, she’s accomplished so much! She’s writing music, releasing album after album, and on top of that she’s working on these films with us! I’m proud of her and proud to say that she’s part of this little family we have. We’re very blessed to have her.”

Brie Larson: “I wish I was like her at that age. I’m so proud of her, she’s a young woman just doing what she loves and not letting people stop her. I’m glad that young girls around the world have her to look up to. She’s going to do amazing things in the future.”

Evans: “Man, have you heard her new album? She really went all in on that one. You know, we’ve seen her grow up into the woman she is today, and you could hear that in her music. I’m glad that we got to experience that and have some kind of part in the legacy she’s building. I hope this means we get to have a musical now.”

Mackie: “That’s our little birdie. Yeah— we call her birdie cause she’s always singing or humming something. You could never have her or Evans together on set, they just burst out singing some random song and everything becomes a musical. No, but in all seriousness, she’s special. The talent she has, you can’t find that in everyone. She’s one in a million.”

They would be so proud of you when you finally win a Grammy or other awards for your music.

There would be videos of them reacting to the moment your name is called for awards like, Album of the Year or Artist of the Year.

When you guys have karaoke night, everyone would fight for you to be on their team.

You could’ve been your own team, but there was no fun in that.

You were like the last donut with red, white, and blue sprinkles (If you know where that’s from, I love u)

“Robert, she was on your team last time! You can’t have her twice!”

“Watch me, Evans.”

“Ayo! Hold up! Sebastian and I barely get to have (y/n) on our team!”

“You boys are childish! (Y/n)’s going to be on my team with Brie and Lizzie.”

Being part of the Marvel family was one of the many things you were grateful for in your career.

They gave you so much love and support as if they were your real family and you loved them all so much.

Even when their times with Marvel were done, they would still be there to support you no matter what, because they were your number one fans.

[tryingmyves]

Girl All the Bad Guys Want

okay i won’t lie, i remembered this song exists and i could not get the idea of a badboy!iida out of my head

this is a bit self indulgent because i was definitely that girl in hs lmaoooo

anyhow hopefully y’all like it too

PAIRING: Iida x Y/N

cw: badboy!iida

✨ tagging the iida army: @coleluuviida + @saturnity + @peachiileaf ✨

You have a reputation at UA, mostly with the male students. It isn’t something you put effort into maintaining or even something you cultivated on purpose, but you’ve gained some notoriety amongst your peers. At first glance, you don’t seem too different from your female classmates. You certainly don’t feel superior or disparate from them, but you’ve also never quite felt like you belonged with them. You don’t excel at being soft and demure, and you refuse to shrink yourself down in order to make others more comfortable in your presence. You spit in the face of all the things typically expected of a lady. And frankly, you’re more than a bit awkward when you hangout with the girls from your class. They always invite you to their sleepovers and shopping trips, and try to engage you in their conversations, but you’re always worried about saying the wrong thing or accidentally offending them. You’re never really able to add anything of value when they talk about the boys in your class - a recurring subject. Mina knows everything about everyone in class; she loves to gossip. It’s like her horns serve as antennae and pick up on all the juiciest secrets. She is always interrogating the other girls about their crushes but you just never really felt that way about anyone. Honestly, you find the conversations about who likes who to be a bit boring. You typically end up hanging out with Bakugo, Kirishima, and the rest of that squad. Boys are just easier to be around. They don’t get offended at your crass comments and your sometimes gruff disposition looks outright friendly next to Bakugo. 

Your undeniably attractive appearance, unquestionable skill with your quirk, and nonchalant attitude have landed you in the sights of several of your fellow UA students. You are the embodiment of do no harm, but take no shit and something about you is intoxicating. Mina frequently jokes with you about how the entirety of the Bakusquad is duking it out to see who gets to ask you out first. You roll your eyes at her, convinced she’s imagining things. But in reality you’re just clueless. As cliché as it is, you really are the girl all the bad guys want. Too bad you didn’t want them back. 

What you didn’t expect with your tough exterior, competitive nature, and tendency to slack off on class work is that class rep, Tenya Iida, would want you too. God, not even he expected it but he had fallen hard. You frustrate him. You’re just as smart as Yaomomo or Todoroki, but you skate by in class. You don’t outwardly disrespect authority, but you won’t blindly accept orders just because someone says so. He thinks the rap metal music you listen to while training is abrasive and doesn’t understand why all your favorite artists sound like they’re mad at their fathers. He finally gave up on lecturing you on the fact that the fishnets you wear with your uniform are not regulation and he was still wrestling with how he felt about learning you were one of the students caught at a dorm party with alcohol a few weeks ago.  More than anything he hates that you’ve so effortlessly got him pining for you and you haven’t even noticed. Iida loves the rules! Order, structure, regulation - these are the things that Iida covets, so why was he craving the taste of your lips on his?

He is tired of silently lusting after you, and decides he’s going to try actively pursuing you instead. Tenya thinks that you like “bad boys” so as foreign as the concept is to him, he concludes he’s going to have to take on that persona. He starts off simply, making a playlist of songs he’s heard you blaring from your dorm. He eases himself into your music, starting with Linkin Park and Korn, before adding Incubus, Machine Head, and even some ICP to the mix. He’s hesitant at first… the music just sounds so hostile and aggressive to him. But soon he finds himself relishing the fierce energy the songs give him. Tenya gets why you train to this sort of music, his workouts becoming more intense than ever. They end in his chest heaving and his hair plastered to his forehead with sweat. His muscular calves throb vigorously after every run and he feels powerful. It gives him a new found confidence that he strategically channels into his interactions with you. For class today, Aizawa simply instructs you all to pair off and spar. You’re about to ask Sero to partner with you when he approaches. 

“Y/N. You’re with me.” Tenya doesn’t ask, he’s telling you you’re his partner. 

A small sound of surprise leaves your throat at his unexpected forcefulness, but you don’t question it. You just nod, giving a small shrug to Sero before following the class rep to a vacant spot of the training gym. 

You look over your challenger, rolling your head on your shoulders a few times to loosen up. “Don’t expect me to go easy on you. You asked for this,” you smirk, bringing your fists up in a defensive stance. 

Before you can even blink, Tenya has closed the 10 foot gap between you, sweeping a long leg beneath yours in a circular motion, knocking you off your feet. You land with a thud on your back and the air in your lungs is forced out with a nmph. 

“Just try to keep up, Y/N.”

Oh, it’s on. Previously you found Iida’s flustered demeanor around you endearing. But this new, assertive, almost cocky disposition is irresistible. His momentum propels him in a circle while he stays anchored in place on his massive left thigh. As he finishes turning through the motion he reaches forward hoping to pin your arms to the ground, but you’re just getting started. You plant the palms of your hands on either side of your face and kick up from the ground with a boost from your quirk. The added flow of air thrusts your legs up and over your head so you are now standing once more. You are sure that the soles of your shoes connect with Iida’s face during your arch through the air. 

“It’s not going to be that easy, specs,” you taunt. Now it’s your turn. 

You launch yourself at Tenya, closing the small gap between the pair of you in an instant. He extends a locked arm to block your approach but you simply dip your head, gliding underneath and down the length of his limb until you are just one step behind him. You pivot on your right foot as you swing your left arm across your body. Your open palm lands just between Tenya’s shoulder blades, your natural momentum accompanied by a gale force wind. The impact knocks him off his feet and sends him toppling forward. Tenya’s speed is unmatched and his large frame is covered in tone muscle, but with the addition of the very air around you, your strikes are ferocious. Your air quirk aids in your mobility, but you’ve used it to master hand to hand combat. You dominate in tight quarters, so you just need to keep Tenya close. He’s already returned to his feet, calculating his next move. The moment ‘s hesitation creating an opening for your right shin to collide with his side. Tenya growls through gritted teeth in response to the blow and the feral vibrations send shivers down your spine. Instead of recoiling from your attack Tenya’s hands clamp onto your shoulders like vices. His brows are furrowed in smug determination, and he practically sneers “Recipro Burst!”

You are propelled backwards rapidly, the gym surrounding you flashing by in a blur, the only thing you're able to see clearly is the dark glint in Tenya’s eyes and the zealous grin on his lips. You try to activate your quirk to counter his momentum, but it’s futile, he is pushing you backwards so quickly you can’t manipulate any of the air whizzing past you. Your back is suddenly pinned to the back wall of the gym, Tenya’s large hands holding your slender wrists to the concrete wall. He places a muscular thigh between your legs so his left knee is pressed to the wall as well - he has you completely immobilized. Both of your chests are heaving, your faces no more than three inches from one another. You don’t know what possesses you but you smash your lips to his, desperate to close the miniscule gap between you.

Tenya’s body stiffens in shock for a moment before he opens his mouth, snaking his tongue past your lips. You wrench your hands from his grip, placing one on the back of his neck and tangling the other in the mess of his navy hair. You didn’t expect the class rep to be such an amazing kisser, but when he catches your bottom lip between his teeth you can’t contain the soft moan that escapes you. Tenya swallows your noises and begins to pull away. Your lips hungrily follow after him, but you’re stopped when one of his calloused hands rests on your neck with just enough force to hold you in place. 

“Such public displays of desire are unbecoming of future heroes, Y/N. Come to my room this evening and we can finish this privately.” And with that, Tenya separates himself from you completely, already settling into a stance that signals he is ready to continue sparring.    

[thevindicativevordan]

On Kong Kenan/Super-Man

It should've been him. He should've been the Superman of 5G/Future State/right now not Jon, and he should be the one getting an HBO Max series not Val. Hell he should be getting a movie!

God this dude is literally the best legacy character Superman has ever gotten, wholly his own person with his own lore and status quo while still building on the idea of "Superman". I am so pissed at DC for essentially just dropping him after his ongoing ended, what the hell Lee? You keep trying to make the Wildstorm characters happen, I need you to get my man Yang another Kenan book.

Have to admit I was a bit nervous at first about whether or not Kenan would be a worthwhile character. Yang's New 52 Superman run had been a disappointment to me overall, with only the the arc where Superman has underground wrestling matches against forgotten gods really sticking with me. Now he was introducing a brand new Superman? Didn't feel like he had "earned" that yet. But from the first issue I was hooked on this new character.

Kenan was unlike any other member of the Superfamily. He wasn't kind or sweet, he was an asshole! He was a bully! He was fantastic! Right from the start Kenan was set up to undergo a very different kind of character journey than the other members of the Superfamily. Empathy, humility, respect for people weaker than himself, these are all traits most heroes wearing the S-shield already posses by the time they first don the crest, but not Kenan.

Like all bullies he was even a bit of a coward himself at first, trying to bail on the experiment meant to give him Superman's powers right as it begins. After "saving" Lixin (the kid he bullies and steals lunch from every day) from Blue Condor he demands all the money Lixin has on him as payment. He's not courageous or selfless either at the start, Kenan is as much of an opposite of Superman as you can get short of being Bizarro. Learning the appeal of these traits formed the basis for his growth over the course of his series.

Seeing Yang bring in a lot of recognizable "Superman" elements in the series, but with a twist, was also great. Kenan is the one who bullies "Luo Lixin" rather than the traditional Clark/Lex friendship of Pre-Crisis and Birthright. Initially Kenan develops a crush on intrepid reporter for Primetime Shanghai, Laney Lan, but she dismisses him as too young and Kenan eventually ends up pursuing Avery Ho (Flash) instead. Baxi the Bat-Man of China has a similar relationship with Kenan as the traditional Superman/Batman in terms of being vitriolic best buds, however Baxi is the one who has the most respect for authority while Kenan is the rebel. Kenan is a part of the "Justice League of China" which does not meet with the approval of the already established Chinese superheroes, the Great Ten. That contrasts nicely with the good relationship the Justice Society and Justice League have, as well as seeing Yang lampshade the "Chinese copy" trope and incorporate that into his storytelling.

One of the funniest differences is how Kenan chooses to immediately reveal his identity as Super-Man to the world by taking off the compliance visor he was forced to wear, contrasting with Clark's choice to hide his identity. He was so eager to impress people that he never gave any thought to the danger he could put himself or his family in by revealing his identity until it was too late, something Clark is well aware of and has taken great pains to keep his identity secret. Was a missed opportunity for DC to have Kenan comment on Clark copying him for once when he outed himself under Bendis.

But one of the most poignant differences between Clark and Kenan is the gulf in separation between their relationship with their parents. Clark has a loving relationship with Ma and Pa Kent, trying to live up to their lessons as best he can. In contrast Kenan's mom was believed to have died in an airplane crash when he was just a child, and he never really knew her. His father was distant from him after that and the two weren't really close despite Kenan's attempts to impress him. So Kenan lacks that strong connection while still clearly loving both of them.

Pa Kent's death is one of the most tragic examples of Clark's love for his parents, and I've always been a fan of takes where Clark promises his father to fight for the powerless on Pa's deathbed. Kenan gets a similar scene at the start of his career, his dad "dies" (after being exposed as Flying General Dragon, a pro-democracy "supervillain" from the Chinese authorities perspective) and wants Kenan to promise he'll fight for Truth, Justice, and Democracy. But because Kenan's dad never really bonded with him, Kenan doesn't know what those mean, and can only promise that he never wants to see people die, something his father takes comfort in at least. In classic comic book fashion it's revealed that Dr. Omen, Kenan's "boss" and the one who gave him his powers, saved Kenan's father, because she is Kenan's mother! Kenan's relationship with his parents forms a lot of the crux of his character arc, and seeing how Yang utilizes the classic Superman concept of family kept the storytelling exciting.

Yang's brilliant exploration of the concept of "Superman" through the prism of Chinese culture was a great way to differentiate Kenan as well.

I absolutely freaking love how he tied to the concept of Qi to the S-shield in particular. Connecting the shape of the shield with the way Kenan has acquired his powers along the path of the Bagua (eight trigrams used in Taoism that represent the fundamental principles of reality), with his octagon S-shield outline representing all eight principles together, was mindblowing! So was the idea of restricting Kenan's access to his powers unless he was actually acting in a Superman manner, that tied his character growth to his power growth in an entertaining manner. There were so many characters and concepts that meshed Chinese and DC lore together, like how Emperor Super-Man was Kenan's "Doomsday", they even recreated that iconic dual kill shot! The Chinese Wonder Woman Peng Deilan, being based on the Chinese Legend of the White Snake! There was even some Korean mythology referenced with the Aqua-Man member of the JLC "Dragonson".

Yang also managed to do a Superman Blue/Superman Red story with Super-Man Yin/Super-Man Yang!

Shameful that it took me a while to realize what Gene Yang was doing but once I caught on I was touched. You can tell how much Yang loved Superman and his mythology, and how he was excited to incorporate as much from Clark as he could, while still using it in a way that was solidly Kenan's. And not just Superman's mythology, but the history and lore of the entire DC Universe. I-Ching got to be brought in, fleshed out, and used as Kenan's mentor! The "Yellow Peril" villain from Detective Comics #1, the comic DC gets its name from was brought in and revamped as I-Ching's twin brother All-Yang! Hats off to Yang for taking a racist caricature and attempting to make him into something more.

This series was a beautiful attempt by Gene Yang to build a space for Asian heroes and villains where they could be more than stereotypes, Kenan himself being a defiant mold-breaker in every regard as the complete opposite of most Asian characters in Western media (a jock, a bully, loves his dad but not on great terms with him, a powerhouse as a hero, etc). So much thought and hard work was poured into this by Yang and his team of artist collaborators.

Especially the costumes, man Kenan had so many great looks. From his starting outfit (which is my favorite Superman variant not worn by Clark himself), to the one with the Yin/Yang shield he acquired later on, to his Super-Man Yin & Super-Man Yang outfits, Kenan looked damn cool. Part of me is bummed they didn't go with the Chinese character shield they toyed around with, but I loved how Yang used the "s-shield" as a plot point, so I'm not too broken up over it.

All that great work Yang did to build that space up has been more or less forgotten sadly. It was nice to see Kenan in the DC Asian Month Celebration issue. Avery is going to be in Justice Incarnate at least (unsurprising considering she was created by Williamson). So fucking bummed that Superman Family Adventures cartoon didn't happen, they were going to have Kenan and John Henry Irons in it! Would've been a dream come true for me to see Irons in animation again, and Kenan making the jump to outside media! Maybe that would've encouraged DC to let Yang keep writing New Super-Man, or at least encouraged them to use him elsewhere instead of allowing him fall into Limbo.

Unfortunately I'm not sure what the future holds for Kenan. Jon is being pushed as Clark's replacement in the comics, with DC keeping all the other contenders such as Kon benched. Calvin is leading the Justice Incarnate team likely due to the upcoming Coates reboot that will make Clark black. Val will probably get something once Taylor leaves Jon's book or once they officially announce the HBO Max show is happening. So where does that leave Kenan, my new favorite PoC legacy hero? Currently my only hope is that Yang is working on something for DC involving him. Yang left Batman/Superman, where I was hoping to see a Baxi/Kenan team up, to go work on "exciting other opportunities" per his Twitter. So fingers crossed that there's something in the works for Kenan!

One day I hope he gets his day in the sun again.

[here2bbtstrash]

jack in the box thoughts if u care. warning this got long as hell and obviously i am reading potentially sus english translations soooo take all of this with many large pinches of salt. JUST LET ME LIVE, I LOVE TO ANALYZE SHIT OKAY.

god i really love this intro a lot. it's giving audiobook in the car lmao but i do think it's the perfect introduction to the concepts of the album for those who are maybe unfamiliar

"hope gave people the will to carry on living amidst the pain and strife" no lies detected

okay but his TONE on pandora's box and the way his voice gets more and more intense it's like.... you can hear the pressure of all of it building. omg. ALSO THIS FUCKING CHORUS.

fucking hell i love this style of music for him it puts his unique and versatile voice on display so well. nothing to distract from it.

more dance break ✨✨✨ still such a banger ugh

OKAY THE BEAT OF STOP..... and wow these lyrics. "there are no bad people in the world" i'm sorry did y'all hear that???? pretty sure jung hoseok just said transformative justice???? abolish prisons and policing?????? ahem sorry i'll stop

AHHHH I WASN'T READY FOR = (equal sign)

HE SAID TRANSCEND/BEYOND GENDER..... I'M ASCENDING......... i'm ready for the post-gender future,, hoseok take me with u 🥺

oh my god his VOICE and the VIBE of this chorus...... give it to me 90s fantasy!!!! I NEED MORE HOBI FALSETTO ALL THE TIME WHY HAS HE BEEN HIDING THIS FROM US i'm driving directly to hybe to FIGHT SOMEONE

music box: reflection ...... *chuckles* i'm in danger (DO IT HOBI UNLEASH THE SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMON DO IT DO IT)

oh my artistic analysis ass is LIVING for this directly after equal sign so much to fucking UNPACK abt the concepts of equality vs. like, actual justice OOH OOH OOOOOOOH

damn i literally just had to take a breather when what if... started. no offense to those who love it but sooome of the lyrics in equal sign rang a teensy bit hollow to me (i am sooooo over the 'we are one race 😌 the human race 😌' crap ya know,, although there were definitely a lot of great parts abt respecting differences/not needing to all be absolutely the same in there too! i am not dragging the song lol!!!)

and for him to turn around and slap us in the face with THIS?????? oh i am RIGHT THERE WITH U HOBI omfg. like IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE....

HE REALLY SAID MAYBE IT'S ABT MY PRIVILEGE AND NOT JUST MY WILL OH MY GOD. KING SHIT.

"I wonder what hardships and ordeals mean to you Since you only walked up intact stairs" !!!!!!!!!!! JUNG HOSEOK

holy fuck i need someone to come hold my hand. i may not survive to the end of this album.

god this idea that it's so fucking easy to talk abt hope and optimism (and yes, equality!!!) when you live a privileged life. i'm literally about to fucking cry. i love it so much i cannot BREATHE.

thank god for the whiplash of safety zone i need these tears to go back up into my eyeballs lmao

ooooof these lyrics tho. i have so many feelings abt celebrity/idol culture and gosh i just wanna give him a hug. it's gotta be so hard to feel like there are so few people you can trust and be entirely safe around or even just points where you feel like you can actually REST (my trauma brain sure knows that firsthand 🤪 and honestly i'd imagine being an idol impacts the brain similarly to complex trauma..... i am js,, we can unpack that later if y'all want)

"I like animals better than people these days" - felt, hobi, felt.

future is such a cute lil bop aaa! i appreciate him reminding us that HE needs to be given hope too 💜 AS I CANCER I CAN RELATE TO ENDLESSLY GIVING.... you gotta help yourself before you can help others babe!!!!

this song is so lovely ~ it's giving positive nihilism ✨ and that sometimes it's okay to take the next step even if you don't know what's coming and you're scared. i hope he feels this way about the hiatus honestly 🥺 babe absolutely deserves it

ugh and arson as a closer feels so damn correct. i watched the MV already so it's not my first time hearing it but this after everything else we just went through...... it's so fucking perfect. burn down all the shit that no longer serves you.

and i also just love the metaphor of everything he's been through being like arson bc it's like, sure, "i set the fire".... but obv he (and all of bangtan) had NO IDEA it would get as big as it has (like any out of control fire).... really i'm sure they felt like they *had* no control after a certain point. seriously the perfect metaphor for it. uncontrolled burn that eventually either has to burn out or keep going and engulf the mf world. and i trust them to make the right choice. 💜

damn alright well. i have tears in my eyes still. what a fantastic fucking album. i am so proud of / in love with this man. and 'what if' is OBVIOUSLY my favorite song it's not even fucking close sdjfkljsf

DAMN LOLLAPALOOZA MIGHT ACTUALLY KILL ME

[0poole]

I LOVE No Straight Roads

Honestly it’s hard to keep me away from a game with great visuals and even greater character design. I knew from the INSTANT I saw these characters that I was going to love it. I just finished it because it’s (unfortunately) pretty short, and even though I cheesed the final boss through it’s very lenient death mechanics (Instant respawn at the cost of a good rank) I actually appreciated that it wasn’t a pure cake walk. I’ve yet to rematch all of the bosses, but since I had genuine trouble with the later ones I’ll hold off on that.

But who cares about gameplay, am I right? I sure as hell don’t. I would’ve bought the game no matter what the hell it was. I wanted the characters (and the music, although I realized that second) and that was it. 

First of all, I love any world that is super fantastical but cheesy in its concept, ala a city powered by music, and battles between artists using music. Ideas like this only spawn from a mind that wants to create a fun atmosphere, if nothing else, and it was sure as hell fun. I genuinely love when someone goes so far into a crazy idea and doesn’t waste your time explaining it with real world logic. Wanna know how a city can be powered by music? Shut up and look at the cute virtual mermaid. Lord knows I did. Every once in a while, it does you good to just let the player/reader/viewer just revel in the idea without having to go out of your way to make things seem realistic. It’s not about “turning your brain off” or whatever, it’s picking your battles.

Also, I can seriously love a world with great background characters to it. Any game with the right situation to insert the random nobodies you find onto the streets into the art in the credits really played into the greatness of the world’s less important characters, and that’s always a good thing. It’s technically world building. But, since I always love to pick favorites, I’d have to say my favorite background character is easily Mia, the NSR infodesk assistant. It’s funny, because you can literally search “nsr characters” into Google and she’s the third image result. I love how jumpy she is when you first interact with her, since NSR probably spread the word about B2J suggesting they’re rock thugs who’d beat up anyone, so for all she knows she could die right then and there with a guitar lodged in her skull. She’s probably just some intern trying to pay for college. She don’t want trouble.

Also, I just realized that 90% of the characters in this game have the same body structure that I always love, that being having arms/legs that sort of fan out in width into relatively large hands/feet. It’s a kind of limb structure I fall into so much because it just really hits me right for some reason. I really can’t explain why.

Anyways, I gotta talk about the big boys individually:

Mayday and Zuke are an amazing duo. I’m always a sucker for a cute and crazy girl, but honestly Zuke hit so many of the right notes too. I will say it’s weird to pair the martian Zuke with the humanly-skinned Mayday, but honestly it doesn’t even matter because he looks so cool on his own. I love his weird blocky blue dreadlocks, and his weirdly shaped shirt which bares his chest in the weirdest way... And, oh my god, Mayday’s weird Spongebob background flower eyes? It’s little tidbits like that that really make me jealous. How could I have ever thought of that? It looks so perfect, and I don’t know why. And her little booty jig she does in her idle animation? Adorable. I played as her as much as was reasonable not only because I’m a filthy button masher with little strategy but also because she’s so damn cute. I can also appreciate how she has a tough-as-nails persona while still keeping a semi-girly attitude, like with her falling for 1010 and Sayu. Characters are so much better when they’re a perfect blend of characteristics, instead of being all one-note, like how Zuke is the quiet one but gets heated against DK West, and all. 

Honestly the voice acting for every character is great, but I love when Mayday’s VA’s accent shows through. It’s a perfect twang to accent (consider this the only acknowledgement of a pun in this post) her snarkiness. 

DJ Subatomic Supernova was going to be an easy favorite since he’s all space-themed. Also, I don’t know why I always end up liking the egotistic characters. Not in the sense that I like their egotistic-ness, but in the sense that I like everything else about them and they just so happen to also be egotistic. The same applied with Empoleon (maybe like my 2nd favorite Pokemon) and Rarity from MLP, probably among others. Either way, I’ll never not love space themes. Not to mention he’s got a funky disco theme, and I’m slowly starting to realize that I am in extreme love with techno-funk styles of music. The instant I heard his music he cemented his place into my playlists. 

As for design, I still have no idea what the fuck he is. Clearly AI is at human levels in this world, but if he’s a robot why does he still have hairy legs? But, if he’s a human, is that weird orb his head? Is it just some sort of puppet which he controls from inside his giant jacket? I know I dissed explaining things realistically but I actually want to know with this guy. Even the wiki doesn’t say. Either way, he’s clearly the logical extreme of “being at the center of your own universe.” Even his jacket depicts a solar system, with his hood being the sun. Didn’t see that until I tried to draw him. I really wish this guy wasn’t so tied to his DJ stand so I could reasonably draw him without it. I don’t want to draw his hairy ass legs. It is a great touch for his design though (although I prefer his beta look with pants and long boots, another design trait I tend to gravitate to) since DJs could reasonably not wear pants, since they’re always behind a table.

Sayu is my favorite. It’s so plainly obvious. It’s weird to say that sometimes, because some characters like Sayu are so clearly engineered to be as adorable as possible, to the point where they’re basically a parody of whatever they’re supposed to be emulating, but then they do that so well that they are still likable for what they’re trying to parody. Also, even though I’ve never looked into any vocaloid superstars myself, the fact that they exist and are loved in real life is absolutely perfect to be used as a character design in a world like this. It’s so weird conceptually, but we all know it’s normal and realistic. But yeah, she’s a giga-cutie whom I’ve already drawn and I’ve listened to her theme on loop on many different occasions. Favorite character, favorite track, favorite weapon of choice (What did I say about Empoleon?), which, and I wouldn’t have noticed this myself, looks like the USB symbol you see above USB ports on computers. How crazy perfect is that?

Even apart from my unbridled love for cute monster robot(?) girls, her boss fight is probably the 2nd greatest of them all, at least conceptually. She’s just a hologram, so you can’t touch her, but you CAN disconnect the artists which control her in order to defeat her. It’s the kind of concept for a boss fight that could only work for this type of character. I’m a sucker for the cute girl that provides her voice, but I love how the animator (video editor? the yellow one) actually attacks you with a mouse and lowers the brightness of the setting once he appears. Also, the mocap guy being the deeply-voiced type but still providing the adorable movements of her body. It’s such a great combo of characters, and their little extra art in the credits makes me like them even more. I just wish we could interact with them individually.

DK West was probably one of the most interesting characters visually, especially since I knew of every other NSR member long before the game came out, but I only just heard of him closer to the release. I wasn’t sure where he was placed, but I definitely assumed his gig was the weird shadow demon we saw in the trailers. When I finally saw him in game, I was shocked to hear him speak an entirely different language most of the time, which was really cool. Also, finding out he was tied to Zuke and wasn’t strictly an NSR artist really made him more interesting. You know, if his fucking shadow clone magic didn’t make him crazy cool enough. Even though I suck at his game and am not especially fond of his raps, the visual of him rapping with this giant monster behind him and dozens of weird shadow wingmen by his side hyping him up was probably one of the coolest in the entire game. The dark way they were hyping him up too gave such a bizarre atmosphere, especially since it parallels his seemingly chill and smiley demeanor. 

I definitely hope they’ll introduce new bosses as DLC in the future, and make them sort of in the same vein as DK West, where they aren’t the biggest artists ever, but they want to pick a fight with B2J. I’d kill for any extra content this game can provide.

Yinu is obviously special since she was the subject of the demo they put out for the game. Even though I knew all her bells and whistles, she and her mom still beat me a few times in the full game. Considering she’s semi-tied to story-ish spoilers I kinda want to go more into her in a separate section. It is worth considering playing the game first since it’s not hard (with the easy going deaths) and it’s short length.

1010 seriously grew on me as I learned more about them and interacted with them. I got their shtick when I first looked at them, but after seeing that animation of them touring the city on Youtube I was kinda falling for them. Then, I learned that they’re apparently repurposed navy war robots? I mean, maybe not them specifically, but it seems to heavily point in that direction, with the warship cars and “attention!”s and all. It took me a bit to get into their music too, but once I actually fought them and put their actions to the music I fell in love with it. I swear, Neon J’s weird dancing can has some of the smoothest moves in all of gaming. I don’t know whether they mocapped out those movements or got one of the greatest animators ever, but it looks so impossibly clean his part of the song gets me like 30x more hype than it would normally. 

Also, their little art piece of them looking at fan mail in the credits is probably one of the most adorable things ever. Even if they’re just Neon J’s puppets, that piece of art really makes it seem like they love every one of their fans. I’m not gonna lie, I might swoon a bit too if they picked me out and gave me some special attention.

Oh yeah, and the fact that Mayday was super sad in her showstopper against them was adorable and hilarious at the same time. The little tweaks they made to the showstopper for each fight were great.

Eve just has to be Lady Gaga, right? Like, an even crazier Lady Gaga. DJSS is Daft Punk (or any artist with a helmet persona, you know what I’m talking about), Sayu is Hatsune Miku, DK West is Kanye West, Yinu is a generic child protege, 1010 is a KPop boyband (just pick one) and Eve is Lady Gaga. That’s just how things are. But, again, this is the kind of boss fight that only this type of character could provide. It’s not just surreal imagery, it’s ARTISTIC surreal imagery. The fight is so mesmerizing in every way, especially by how it starts off so slow and calm and progresses to insanity, as well as the increased emotional investment in the fight making you feel so much more into it than just “That’s the boy band. Let’s fight.” Not only does it get you more invested, but it makes her artistic persona go deeper than just “she looks weird.” She is genuinely conflicted about her relationship with Zuke, and naturally that leads her to literally split him and Mayday apart. That mechanic specifically was the coolest, although I do wish they made it more obvious when you needed to switch over to a different side. I was getting pulverized by her fight too, since there were so many things to pay attention to. Her fight was definitely the best one. 

Tatiana and Spoilers:

Let’s be real with ourselves, the twist was so obvious. I do also think, though, that obvious twists aren’t bad if they’re just good reveals. At some point, a person just has experienced so many stories that “only pretty good” twists are easy to spot. It doesn’t mean that the twists are bad, it just means you yourself experienced.

I feel like her transition from rock to EDM was pretty understandable, even as a non-musician. She was so caught up in what she assumed was popular that it basically consumed her. It’s easy as an artist to want to forgo what you truly want to make in favor of what makes you popular, and clearly since her transition to EDM made her the CEO of the biggest company in the city (world?) that probably made her think she truly needed to change her outlook. Then, when she saw B2J try to bring it back, she sort of coined them as being as misguided as she was and knocked them down a peg. Plus, they were kinda being jerks about it.

It’s kinda like the Trolls sequel, where everyone pegs rock music fanatics as being too stuck up in their own heads to appreciate other types of music, which honestly seems more like the case than the alternative. When I first heard of the story of the game, I was seriously hoping they did put an asterisk on B2J’s ambitions because they were a bit sketchy from the start. 

That’s kinda where I want to talk about Yinu, because she was the true turning point in what they were doing. She’s literally 9 and yet she’s getting dragged into all this BS. When she said “I hate you all” at the end of her fight, and played a somber tune on her broken piano after the fight destroyed it, you kinda got a kick in the face to realize you’re kinda being an asshole to some of them. Sure, they fight back, but they wouldn’t fight in the first place if they didn’t have to. They are just people who play music under a joint name that B2J just so happened to get in hot water with. 

Then, of course, there’s Kliff, who also reeked of surprise villain, and who’s basically the embodiment of the bad side of B2J, where he just wanted to destroy for his own sake and not for the actual greater good. Once B2J realized their mistake, they backed off, but Kliff was so hard pressed to do what he planned on in the first place he wouldn’t stop. I kinda wish he got a bigger fight to his own since he’s clearly a big enough tech genius to divert a whole satellite into one specific building. Maybe the Elliecopter chase bit was his thing, but I do kind of wish he was there to fight against them too.

Even though Tatiana did kind of reform a bit quick, It’s still not too crazy to assume she could see that B2J was just misguided and the fact that they worked to revert their wrongdoings for her sake would make a pretty strong impressions. They clearly can hold their own, so it’s not like she wouldn’t want them to join NSR too. 

Oh yeah, and her boss fight was clock/time themed. If there’s a theme under space that I love, it’s clocks/time. 

And If I am to be respected by the internet, I must provide a negative opinion to balance out my positive one. I will say that the character model physics (like Mayday’s braids, DK West’s vest thing, Neon J’s fluffy neck thing, etc) got kinda funky at times. Especially DK West’s vest, which was completely messed up for every scene he was in... Also, even though the voices are mostly great, some lines felt a bit off. Just a bit. That good enough? Good.

But yeah anyway that’s another favorite game to add to the pile. Eventually I’m gonna have to compile a true list of my all-time favorite games/movies because I do kind of want to have a solid idea of what my all-time favorites are.

[readyplayerhobi]

Flower | 40 | End

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff, angst

; Word Count: 6.9k

; Warnings: Slight anxiety attack, mentions of panic, slight body issues

; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

; A/N: So...this is it 😢 Flower is officially over! I started writing this on November 15th, 2019. Almost a year later, here we are with 40 chapters, 3 drabbles and 180k of words. Can you believe I actually finished it? I hope you’ve all enjoyed reading it and the journey of the MC finding herself and falling in love with Hoseok. It’s been so fun to write and it’s sad to let it go. If you’ve enjoyed reading this, please let me know with a comment or an ask! I’ve loved reading how much you’ve all felt seen or embraced by the MC with her struggles and I’d love to hear your thoughts on not only this chapter but the whole fic! Feedback is what keeps authors going and I came very close to leaving writing once Flower was finished but I’m still going to carry on. I’m not sure if this chapter is good or not, but I hope you enjoy it anyway and think it a fitting end to the story!

; Flower Masterpost

-

“Okay...okay. Let’s do this...you can do this. It’s easy. Just...walk down the aisle. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? Well, Hoseok could not be there or I could have a heart attack and drop down dead. That would suck. But it would resolve a lot of my issues, I wouldn’t have to worry about everyone watching me. On the other hand...I’m going to marry the love of my life. As long as he turns up” The soft sounds of your muttering are probably barely heard over the soft playing music through the speakers in the room, YouTube playing mindlessly to itself.

It was a good job, as it meant that no one else in the room could hear your panicked thoughts that were being verbalised. Hoseok and you had decided to get married at an exquisite mansion hotel with the ceremony itself being in the elegant gardens outside. There was a full-sized maze alongside a stunning fountain, the centrepiece being a marble depiction of Aphrodite rising from the shallows.

You’d taken a walk around the perfectly groomed gardens the night before, taking in all the decorations that you’d painstakingly picked out over the months that had been artfully arranged by the staff. The flowers in the gardens were beautiful, a smorgasbord of pinks, oranges, violets, reds and yellows that brought the whole area to life. Alongside it looking visually perfect, it also smelled amazing as well with the soft scent of different flowers mixing.

At night, the tiny fairy lights that had been strung up around the building front and the metal trellises that were organised in the garden gave off a soft, golden glow. It made the whole place look ethereal and you were excited for everyone else to get to see it during the reception tonight.

The actual wedding ceremony was scheduled to start at two in the afternoon, with only friends and family invited for that. It would be outside as well, with Hoseok and you standing at the end of a make-shift aisle on the lawn section of the hotel’s garden. Temporary chairs had been arranged on both sides for your guests, dark wood with ivory silk draped over everyone. At the end of the aisle, each chair had a silk bow in ivory and deep purple alongside a bouquet of specially arranged flowers. 

It all looked perfect and you’d marvelled at it yesterday, amazed that they’d managed to bring your vision to life. Now all you had to do was walk down it and get married, which was where you were a little panicked.

The room that had been assigned to the bridal party was on the lower floor of the hotel, reducing the risk of you potentially killing yourself by tripping over your dress while walking down the stairs. It was technically two hotel rooms connected through a shared bathroom, which you found bizarre.

Your mom and Hoseok’s mom had taken the other room for their use to get changed, the hairdresser and makeup artist they’d hired working there to make them look their best for the ceremony. Even now, you could hear them chattering and laughing away with each other. Even through your anxiety, you can’t help but smile as you hear them get on so well.

Any fears you’d had about them not liking each other had quickly disappeared. Instead, they’d become good friends and liked to meet up now and then to have a talk over coffee or something. It pleased you to see your mom getting to have more friends.

Eden and Amelia had also chosen to get ready in that room, not wanting to crowd the one you were in too much. It was already full of dresses and a ridiculous amount of makeup and hair product with only four of you so you couldn’t even imagine the chaos with five of you.

In your room was Soyeon, Chungha and Dahyun alongside you. Dahyun was currently three months pregnant, having successfully been inseminated with Jungkook’s sperm. He’d agreed to their request and after a few months of getting prepared for the attempts, Dahyun had undergone the procedure. What it had been exactly, you didn’t know because you hadn’t felt it was your business to pry into something like that.

It was a privilege to even know they were trying before anyone else. Their announcement had come at your bachelorette party when Dahyun had refused alcohol, immediately leading Soyeon and you to be suspicious. You’d never seen Chungha’s beloved ever turn down a drink so it had been a clear sign of something at least.

Needless to say, your party had happily become a celebration of their impending baby. Thankfully, you weren’t one of those people who got overly annoyed at others announcing things at events. Or at least, not big events. Your bachelorette party had been a perfect time to find out, whereas you might not have been so amenable if they’d told everyone today instead.

That was normal though, right? Today was your day. Yours and Hoseok’s. People who felt the need to co-opt special days like that were a special type of self-absorbed in your opinion.

Given it was so early into her pregnancy, Dahyun isn't showing that much. Which meant her bridesmaid dress hadn’t needed to be altered too much. None of them has gotten into their dresses just yet, instead currently in the process of getting their face and hair done. Chungha’s hair has already been done, elegantly styled into a beautiful updo with a few tendrils curled around her face.

The makeup for the girls was a smokey eye with subtle blush and contour, alongside a neutral lip. It wasn’t anything flashy, but you’d loved the concept of it all. Particularly with the small and delicate crystals that dotted along their waterline, adding a little sparkle to match the tiny crystals on their deep violet dresses.

As a present to each of them, you’d bought them a gift set from Pandora. In each one was a pair of dainty stud earrings with a heart design alongside a matching heart-shaped pendant necklace. All the hearts were encrusted with brilliant-cut stones, making the perfect gift that could be used again in the future for casual use.

They’d all been in awe of it and surprised at being given presents as well. You hadn’t even known it was a thing until you’d looked up wedding preparation online, discovering that you should also buy something for Hoseok. Which had led to you buying him the fancy watch he’d been drooling over for months now. It had been eye-watering expensive, but it had been worth it for his excited text this morning.

Along with the watch, you’d also written him a letter. It was meant to be light-hearted and fun, but you’d ended up writing way too much as you’d poured out your love to him alongside everything you felt for him. To your eternal embarrassment, you’d ended up crying while writing it as you’d told him everything you’d never been able to vocalise, including writing possibly a million times that you love him.

He’d been instructed to not read that until just before the ceremony.

His present to you was a gaming table, which might not seem to be very sentimental to anyone else but you’d been ecstatic over it. For years now, you’d been saying that you wanted to buy a proper table that was designed for board games and that could then be used as a normal table when converted. They were super expensive so you’d resigned yourself to never getting one, but he’d printed out the receipt of what he’d ordered and put it into an envelope for you to open tonight.

Neither of you had ever been a traditional couple, and that certainly wasn’t about to change with marriage.

“Hey, you okay?” Amelia asks, interrupting your intense thought process as she sits down next to you. As usual, her aura is warm and reassuring as she reaches over to gently squeeze at your hand. You don’t spend a huge amount of time around her, but you knew both Eden and her enough to want them in your bridal party.

“Yes? No? Maybe? I don’t know. I’m just…” Trailing off, you struggle to find the right words and instead gesture towards the air. It makes no sense but you can’t quite figure out what you’re trying to say. Mainly because you can’t figure out what your mind is thinking.

“It’s okay to be worried, don’t feel like you shouldn’t be. If you’re anxious or nervous then that’s okay as well. Don’t let anyone tell you how you should be feeling, just feel what you are. Trust Hoseok, trust yourself and all your family and friends. We’re all here for you and we want you to have the best day possible. Tell us if anything is wrong, okay? I have no doubt that Chungha and Soyeon would strong-arm everyone into whatever was necessary to make you feel comfortable.” She says, smirking as she nods over to the two women who are chattering away in their respective chairs.

“I know, I know. I’m trying. It’s just...god, everyone is going to be staring at me and I hate being the centre of attention,” Looking down at your hands, you chew at your lips. “What if I mess up the vows? Or I freeze or drop the ring?”

“Hey, it’s normal to feel that. I doubt there’s anyone who’s gotten married who wasn’t at least a little bit anxious about messing something up. Yes, everyone is here to watch you, but they’re for Hoseok too. I’m sure he’s just as worried that he might make a mistake, and if you do then, so what? It’s not going to ruin anything, it just means your human. If anything, people will probably find it endearing. The only person you should concern yourself with is Hoseok, and I doubt there’s anything you could do today to ruin the day for him. Unless you don’t go.” Amelia laughs when you give a shocked gasp, jaw-dropping open and eyes wide.

“I would never do that! But what if he decides he doesn’t want to get married anymore?” Now the worry that had wiggled itself deep inside your mind comes to the fore and you find yourself almost whispering the words. It feels like a betrayal to Hoseok for even thinking he’d do that, but you can’t help the fear.

You must not have been quite enough though as Chungha speaks up, facing you in her chair with a stern expression on her face as she wags her finger. “Lady, do not think that. I don’t want that thought to even enter your head. As if Jung Hoseok is ever going to back out now. I think that man would’ve eloped with you if you’d asked instead. He’s going to be standing at the end of that aisle, probably bawling like a baby.”

“Maybe not that far.” This is from Eden, who’s laid out on the bed in the centre of the room, playing Zelda on her Switch. She’d had her makeup done earlier and is now waiting for the hairdresser to be free while Amelia is waiting for her makeup. All of you had decided that you’d be last to get ready to make sure that everything looked as fresh as possible.

“Want to bet? That man is gonna be sobbing.” This starts up a whole ten-minute discussion about whether or not Hoseok was going to cry at seeing you. Namjoon hadn’t cried but Jimin had during their weddings, surprising no one. But Namjoon had cried at the birth of his daughter.

You weren’t sure, to be honest. Hoseok didn’t cry all that often and you could probably count on one hand how many times you’d seen it over four years. On top of that, you weren’t entirely sure that you wanted to see him crying. It made your chest hurt when he did and you always ended up crying too.

Something about seeing strong and proud men cry was just heartbreaking to you. 

For a while, you just sit back and let the conversation wash over you as they all debate and borderline argue, intensely amongst themselves. They’d all switched around now and they’ll soon start getting into their bridesmaid’s dresses, which meant you’d be finally getting ready.

Your nails had been done the night before with a beautiful design in the same colour scheme as the wedding. They looked so pretty and elegant, which was a surprise to you every time you looked at them as you never really bothered doing your nails. While you liked to do fancy makeup looks now and then to post onto social media, nails were not something you were interested in.

Maybe you should reassess that thought.

“Anyway, what we’re all trying, and failing, to say is that Hoseok loves you and if he doesn’t cry then he’s crying inside at how beautiful you are.” Soyeon states firmly, sitting next to you and admiring your nails as well. All the bridesmaids had the same style to keep the theme going and she wiggled her fingers with a bright smile.

“I’m not even ready yet, you don’t know if I’ll be beautiful.”

There’s dead silence in the room after the comment, with even the hairdresser and makeup artist turning to stare at you. Between the six other women in the room, you’re pretty sure that they’ve got every emotion from shock to annoyance to incredulity covered. Feeling yourself get warm at their attention, you look down to your lap in embarrassment.

Obviously, the wrong thing to say.

“Okay, we’re going to ignore that you just said that. You don’t need to be dolled up and in a wedding dress to be beautiful, it’s just going to enhance what you already have. And I don’t want any arguments on that.” Poking your side lightly, you playfully wince at Soyeon as she scolds you. Everyone else is nodding along solemnly before they carry on with whatever they’d been doing.

“Seriously though, I overheard your conversation with Amelia. She’s right. Embrace your feelings but don’t let them overwhelm you. Standing in front of a crowd is nerve-wracking for anyone, but you’ve got the love of your life standing there with you. Just focus on Hoseok, he’ll get you through it. He always has, right?” Soyeon said.

Giving her a half-smile, you nod and do a remarkably good job of looking like a scolded child or something. You know it’s just because she loves you that she doesn’t want you to berate yourself, along with the fact that she knows what you’re like. If someone doesn’t verbally acknowledge your problems then you’ll just obsess over them.

Your phone screen lights up in your lap before it begins to vibrate suddenly, Hoseok’s name visible on the screen. Frowning down at it, you wonder why he’s calling before a multitude of emotions and thoughts runs through your mind.

“Go take it in the bathroom.” Pulling you up, Soyeon practically pushes you into the bathroom before giving you a smile and a thumbs-up as she closes the door.

Seeing the other door is also open, you peek out and let everyone in that room know that you’d be using the bathroom for a few minutes and to not come in. Once you get the acknowledgement, you close and lock it as well before pushing up to sit on the counter.

“Hobi! Why are you calling?” Leaning back against the mirror, you frown deeply as you question him. The first response is just his familiar deep chuckle, the sound already helping to soothe some of your frayed nerves.

“Amelia texted Joon, who told me. I don’t want you to stress yourself out! Not today, today’s meant to be a happy day. No stress. Or anxiety.” Snorting, you roll your eyes as you trace an invisible design onto your thigh.

“Sure, like that’s gonna happen. You know me. And why are you calling? We’re not meant to see each other until the wedding, it’s bad luck!” There’s a brief pause and you can practically hear him rolling his eyes, the deep sigh he lets out telling you all you need to know.

“Meeps, I’m pretty sure that only counts for physically seeing each other. I can’t see you right now. I don’t recall anything about not being allowed to hear you, or talk to you. Besides, we make our luck.” He sounds so nonchalant and now it’s your turn to sigh at him.

“You’re going to get us hit by lightning or something.”

“Impossible, the weather schedule for today is meant to be sunny with a little bit of cloud later on. Nice warm temperatures that aren’t too hot but also not too cold. Perfect. No lightning.” His immediate rebuttal has you laughing, unable to stay mad at him for too long. Not when he’s trying so hard to take your mind off things.

“Seriously though, are you okay? What are you worried about? Talk to me.” Hoseok asks, his voice calm and steady as he stops joking around. There’s a brief moment of resistance, the thought that you don’t want to bother him with your silly thoughts or annoying emotions before you remember that you can trust him. No matter how ridiculous it sounds in your head, Hoseok will listen and he won’t make fun of you.

“I’m just...scared. Of all the people. Like, they’re going to be watching me or staring. What if I look fat or ugly? Or I fuck up saying the vows? Or I drop the ring or my dress splits or something? Or if I trip down the aisle?! Or if you decide you don’t want to marry me anymore?” As you begin to reel off the questions that have been plaguing your mind, you can feel your chest getting a little tighter and your breathing shallower.

With the practised ease of someone who’s dealt with your panic attacks over the years, Hoseok makes calming and reassuring noises over the phone until you’re silent. Just listening to him, you take in the comforting words as he lets you know that you’re okay and everything is fine. Finally, once he thinks you’re calm enough, he carries on.

“Meeps, that’s fine. Don’t be upset that you’re having those thoughts. I’ve had every one of those thoughts today as well. I mean...not the dress one. Substitute that for pants splitting or something, which is even more embarrassing because my underwear is not black today. But the point I’m trying to make here is that it’s normal to have those thoughts today. I’d probably be more worried if you weren’t having them.” He pauses to laugh before you hear shuffling noises.

There’s no doubt he’s probably not even getting into his tuxedo just yet and you curse the fact that men take far less time to get ready than women. He’ll probably only start like...an hour before the ceremony begins or something.

“But all I’ll say is, it doesn’t matter if anything goes wrong because we’ll fix it. You and me, just like always. You won’t look fat or ugly because you’re neither fat nor ugly anyway, instead, you’ll be the most beautiful woman here. Which you always are to me but don’t let my mom hear me tell you that. And I’m going to be standing at the end of the aisle, I promise you that. I’m the one who proposed to you and I will be there, waiting for you. That’s one thing I can assure you of completely.” Hoseok says this firmly, his voice perhaps more serious than you’ve ever heard it before.

You can practically feel his determination to make you understand that he’s going to be there. That he’s going to marry you today, no matter what happens. It makes your heart swell with love and emotion, causing you to press your hand against your mouth.

Hoseok takes your silence as a positive, choosing to let it carry on for a little longer before speaking once more.

“I love you, Meeps. And by the end of today, you’re going to be my wife. We’re going to have a great day with a beautiful ceremony and a fun reception before probably going to bed drunk. Or at least, I’m going to be drunk. Not entirely sure if I’ll be able to take you to Poundtown tonight-”

“Don’t ever say that again.” 

“But if not tonight then definitely tomorrow. Unless you don’t want me to drink, in which case probably tonight if you’re up for it.” Shaking your head, you can’t help but smile at his stupid comments. He always knew how to cheer you up, even if it was with the most ridiculous thing you’d heard today.

“You can drink, I’m not going to make you sober throughout the entire reception. I want you to have fun with everyone, so if you end up drunk then that’s fine. Just don’t go overboard.”

“Choosing to ignore my Poundtown comments, I see.” 

“Jung Hoseok, I am going to hang up now. I will see you later, okay?”

“Okay. Love you.” Feeling a little shy, you murmur your next words into the phone.

“Love you too.”

-

The ceremony is officially about to start and you stare at the open door, knowing that outside all your guests are waiting. Not only that, but Hoseok is at the end of the aisle. You’d been reassured by everyone there who had peeked out to make sure, quelling your fears and worries.

All the groomsmen had come inside upon finding out you were here, lining themselves up alongside their specified bridesmaid partners and chatting away happily. They all looked incredibly handsome in their suits, the colours matching the bridesmaids perfectly and you felt a little pride at having thought of a good colour scheme.

Your mom is fussing around you, making sure that your dress looks perfect and that your bouquet hasn’t fallen apart or anything. Sighing, you gently push her hands away as she tries once more to move your necklace.

All of them had given you something as part of the tradition for the bride. Dahyun had lent you a beautiful Cartier bracelet, glowing with diamonds, as part of the ‘something borrowed’ while Chungha had bought you diamond earrings for the ‘something new’. Your mom had given you the bracelet she’d worn for her wedding, now occupying your other wrist and Hoseok’s mom had provided the necklace adorning your neck.

It was a beautiful silver necklace with a dainty leaf design, leading to the main piece in the centre which was dotted with tiny diamonds. Each leaf spreading out had either amethyst or an aquamarine gem in alternating order. She’d ordered it specially made for your wedding, matching your engagement ring with the gems and fulfilling the ‘something blue’.

You’d been amazed at everything they’d given you, understanding now why they’d all told you now to buy any jewellery for the day. They’d all decided to make sure you had everything you needed anyway.

But you knew that your mom’s need to keep straightening out your dress or brushing away unseen dust was just to keep herself preoccupied. She’d already cried once when you’d come out in your wedding dress, makeup and hair all done. That had earned her an exasperated sigh from the makeup artist.

“Mom, mom, come on,” You coo to her, smiling before taking her hands and squeezing. “You gotta go out there, go get your place.” 

She hesitates for a moment, unwilling to leave you before nodding. After a few words of reassurance from her to you, telling you that you’re going to do well and it’s all going to go fine, she turns and hugs your dad tightly before kissing him. You’d feel embarrassed at the sight of it, never quite being comfortable with your parents' displays of affection, but it just causes you to laugh softly.

Once she’s out the door, you hear the music begin from outside, the notes flowing through the door faintly. Everyone inside quietens and you can almost feel the excitement ramp up. It just makes you feel more nervous though, particularly when they start to head out in their pairs slowly.

“Are you ready?” Your dad asks, his eyes already going glassy with tears as his lip wobbles slightly. Giving him a concerned look, you immediately reach up to wipe the tears as they start to fall, feeling your heartbreak at the sight of your dad crying. He never cried.

“Dad! Don’t cry, oh my god. I’m sorry.” Cleaning up his face quickly, you’re stopped by the gentle way he grasps your wrists. For a moment, you think that he’s going to push you away but instead, he pulls you closer and carefully hugs you.

It’s a little awkward as you’re trying not to ruin the carefully done hair and makeup, but you can’t deny your dad a hug. Especially when you’d never really been much of a hugger growing up. You would be cruel to deny him one, especially on your wedding day. Your parents were feeling emotional that their little girl was getting married today.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s just your old dad getting sappy. You look so beautiful. Hoseok is so lucky, you better remind him of that every day.” He’s pulled back now, giving you the softest smile that is still a little watery. His hands move to your shoulders and he stands back to examine you fully, his eyes taking in everything.

Before you can respond to him, Yoongi is disappearing out of the door and heading towards the aisle. He’s alone, as you’d planned, but in one hand is the bouquet that Hoseok’s sister would’ve held had she still been alive. It had been his suggestion to hold it, symbolising the family member that Hoseok didn’t have anymore and you’d been more than willing to agree.

You wondered what Hoseok thought when he saw it as neither of you had told him that Yoongi would be holding it. Hopefully, he was happy with it, along with his parents.

Turning back to you, your dad squeezes your shoulders reassuringly before smiling at you. Ironically, all it does is make you more nervous as you realise that now you’re the one who’s going to have to walk down that aisle next. 

“Come on, it’s time to make your fiancé cry.” His words in a teasing tone, your dad turns to face the door before offering you his arm. Standing there, you stare at him before looking at the door with trepidation. Nerves roil in your stomach as you hear the faint sound of music playing, knowing that everyone out there is waiting for you.

Which in turn means everyone will be staring at you.

Those nerves quickly turn to anxiety and your breath comes faster, chest feeling a little constricted by the tight bodice of the dress. Without even realising it, your hands start to shake and the bouquet in them shudders visibly.

Quickly, your dad takes the bouquet from you to make sure that you don’t accidentally deflower them or crush the stems. The last thing you needed was to ruin your perfect bouquet only minutes before you were supposed to walk down the aisle.

It frees up your hands and you find yourself flapping them as you stress, trying to shake out the negative emotions as you pant. Your dad’s eyes widen, obviously panicking himself at your obvious distress. He’s never had to deal with you struggling like this before and he doesn’t know what to do but his paternal instincts kick in quickly.

“Hey, come on, sweetheart. Breathe, breathe. Take a big breath in, come on, that’s it. Not let it out slowly. And again, that’s right.” Talking to you in his comforting voice, tone level and low, you follow his instructions and start to feel a little calmer as you force yourself to calm your breathing. It’s hard, and you still feel the anxiety but it feels a little more manageable now.

Closing your eyes, you run through all the tips your therapist had given you for how to cope with anxiety attacks. What worked for you was to sing in your head, the lyrics, whatever song you were loving lately. It probably takes longer than you’d have liked but finally you feel like you can cope with your emotions enough to carry on.

When you open your eyes again, your dad is giving you an expectant, yet worried, look. Shaking your hands once more, you reach out and take the bouquet from him before taking a deep breath. Linking your arm through his, you straighten your shoulders and lift your chin before smiling at him.

“Okay, okay. Let’s go.”

-

Walking down the aisle is surprisingly less stressful than you’d imagined. The famous wedding song plays through the air as you walk slowly and the whole atmosphere feels almost like a fairytale. The soft lights twinkle even in the daylight while the gentle, warm breeze makes the ribbons on the chairs flutter delicately.

Along the floor, the white and purple rose petals that Namjoon’s daughter had spread in her role as flower girl were strewn haphazardly. A few of them caught the breeze and rolled delicately to a new place, making it seem like the floor was consistently changing. You liked it, smiling at the sight of how beautiful everything looked.

Everyone was staring at you, as you’d expected, but surprisingly it wasn’t as intimidating as you’d thought. You didn’t exactly enjoy it but it wasn’t terrible. Probably because you were more focused on initially admiring how perfect everything looked. How months and months of thought and money had finally accumulated into the perfect wedding.

But mostly, you weren’t as bothered by the staring because you were focused on the end of the aisle. There was no real altar here, given that it was being held at a hotel and everything, but the metal garden arch at the end had been decorated in delicate flowers, ribbons and lights to make an even better end.

And beneath it stood Hoseok.

If you’d ever thought Hoseok looked handsome before then it paled in comparison to him today. His black tuxedo made him look tall and slim, every part of him looking perfectly put together and elegant. The deep purple waistcoat beneath his jacket contrasted with the white of his shirt perfectly; the colour combination making his skin almost glow with health and happiness.

There was only the slightest hint of tattoos at the edge of his collar, leaving to the imagination the artwork he had permanently on his body beneath his clothes but you didn’t need to imagine. You’d seen them all, traced them delicately into your memory over the years until you could point out where they were without even seeing them.

Finally reaching him, you paused to look at your dad and gave him a bright smile of gratitude before giving him a second hug. This one was a little tighter than before and when you let go of him, you saw that he was crying once more. He didn’t give your hand to Hoseok, instead just gave him a stern look while trying to surreptitiously wipe away his tears.

“You look after her, Jung Hoseok. You make sure she’s the happiest woman.” There’s iron in his voice, telling Hoseok that it wasn’t a question but more a command. But there’s also love and affection in it, something Hoseok can tell as well by the way he nods his head.

Handing your bouquet to Chungha, you take Hoseok’s proffered hand. Up close, you can take in the details of his face better and you take a moment to simply admire him and imprint him into your memory.

The sides of his head had been shaven, the undercut short and seen with the style he’d chosen to wear today. His hair had been styled back, pushed away from his forehead. It was a look that had made you weak in the knees many times over the years and you’d practically begged him to have it for the wedding, knowing that he’d blow everyone’s mind with how handsome he looked.

Hoseok had a face that looked like it had been hand-carved by the gods from the finest marble anyway and this hairstyle showed off all the highlights of his face. The high cheekbones that made his smiles so animated, his cutting jawline, the clean slope of his nose, the heart-shaped smile that lit his entire face and the dimples that made him seem so human. 

His lip ring was still in, the silver shining in the sunlight. He’d been unsure whether to wear it but you’d told him to embrace himself and keep it. You’d fallen in love with him as he was, and you wanted him to show himself how you saw him. Which included his piercings and tattoos.

Your heart clenched though when you looked into his eyes finally. Hoseok’s eyes were one of your favourite things about him. The crescents they turned into when he smiled brightly, pushed into the shape by his cheeks and the way his eyes could practically dance with delight when he was happy.

Today though, those beautiful and expressive eyes were watery with tears. The wet streak on his cheek told you that he’d already had some of them fall and you frowned at the sight of them. Everyone had been right; Hoseok had cried upon seeing you down the aisle.

“Baby.” You whisper, unsure if you’re meant to talk to him. Deciding you don’t care, you reach up to wipe away the tears and smile when he kisses the palm of your hand before nuzzling into it, uncaring of everyone else.

“Meeps, you look perfect. I read your letter, I love you too.” Before you can stop him, he’s leaning forward and pressing a quick kiss to your lips. There’s a murmur in the crowd, alongside some laughter and he looks over at everyone with a raised brow.

No one says anything though and he gets a satisfied look, ignoring your shy expression as you turn away from everyone.

“You’re not supposed to do that.” Keeping your voice low, you give a hesitant smile to the official who will be taking you both through your ceremony. Hoseok lets out a snort of laughter as he squeezes your hand tight, letting his thumb run along the back of your hand lovingly.

“I don’t care. It’s our wedding, I’ll do what I want.” And before you can stop him, he turns you and gives you another kiss, this one lingering a little longer. Eyes widening, you can’t help but giggle as you hear yet more laughter.

You should be annoyed at him, but you know he’s a force of nature. Plus, you don’t care. It feels nice to know he can’t help himself.

“Okay, let’s get married, Meeps.” He grins at you before facing the officiant once more. Staring at him a moment longer, you smile at him and nod.

“Let’s get married.”

-

Hobi Hobi,

We’re getting married today! Are you excited? I hope you’re reading this when I told you to, if not then you’re cheating >:[ it feels weird to write a letter. I don’t even know if I’ve ever done this before, so I’m sorry if it sounds really cheesy and lame. What do people write in these normally? I’m just going to write what comes to mind so if it ends up sappy then you’re not allowed to tease me later about it. 

Anyway, I want you to know that I’m sorry that I suck so much at telling you how I feel and my emotions. I wish I could be one of those people who’s telling you every moment how handsome you are and how much I love you but I can’t. I’m sorry :( I’m trying, I swear! Even if I don’t get to tell you as often as you deserve, I hope you know that I love you more than anything in the world.

Don’t ever forget that, okay? Even when we’re arguing over something silly or we go to bed mad at each other, don’t forget that. I know we’re pretty good at talking things out but there’s always that chance that we could have a big blowout. So I want you to remember that I love you. 

I’m still not entirely sure what I did to deserve you, but I don’t regret sending you that message. If anything, I think I should send the Flower team a big bunch of flowers or something for creating the algorithm that brought you up as a match. Imagine if it hadn’t and I’d just deleted the app, we’d have never met and I’d still be lonely and sad.

But we did meet, and I took a chance on you by sending you that embarrassing message. And then you took a chance by actually meeting up with me and going on that date. I still remember it, and I don’t know if I ever told you but I still have the ticket for the escape room. I know you still have yours in your wallet :) Thank you for giving me your time, even if I wasn’t your type. I hope I’m your type now.

I’m not sure that I will ever be able to tell you how important you are to me. Not only myself but my life. You’ve helped me to embrace myself and learn to love myself over the years through kindness. I know my limits in terms of my mental health now and you’ve helped to support me with the medication and the therapist. Neither of those were things I’d been comfortable with doing before your encouragement. But you also gave me a safe space to break down in; somewhere that I knew I could be at my most vulnerable mentally without having to risk being hurt even more.

You held me when I cried, you comforted me when I panicked and you calmed my anxiety over the years. I can never thank you enough for helping me to understand that these aren’t deficiencies and I’m not broken. I just need a little help to get through things sometimes. At the same time, I hope that I’ve become that safe space for you as well. I know that you’re not as emotional as I am, but I feel that you’ve opened up to me about things that hurt you. I’ll keep your secrets safe and I’ll always be here for you!

I hope you’re happy with your life now. With me, and our home and our furbabies. I hope you stay happy, and if you don’t then talk to me. Please. I don’t want us to ever realise that we’re making each other unhappy and I don’t want to ever be the reason for negativity. I want to spend the rest of my life with you in our little home, growing old together as we play board games and dote on our animals while you increase your tattoo collection even more. I know that people like to say that they can’t imagine their lives with their significant other, but I really do feel like that.

My life without you would be hollow and monochrome, as you bring colour to my world and fill it with joy and happiness. I’ve never laughed as much as I have these last few years with you and I know we’ll keep that in our relationship if we try hard. 

I don’t really know where this letter is going and I’m babbling now. But I guess the main thing is just that I can’t wait to marry you. It may not be very feminist of me but I can’t wait to take your name and be your wife. I can’t wait to call you my husband. I’m going to be terrified in the ceremony and so nervous but I’ll be happy too, I promise! I still can’t believe that you picked me, out of all the women you’ve seen, to be your girlfriend and then decided that you wanted to marry me.

Jung Hoseok, I solemnly swear to treasure you for the rest of your life and make sure you know how much I love you. I might not be able to tell you all that much, but I’ll show you. I’ll make you smile and laugh, I’ll buy you things that make me think of you, I’ll hug you tight and cuddle you until you’re complaining.

So in case it wasn’t obvious enough, I love you. I just want you to know because I know I suck at telling you, like I said. I’m also bad at writing letters but what’s new? I’ll finish this off quickly so you’re not spending too long reading this. Don’t want to make you late for our wedding after all.

I love you. I love you, Jung Hoseok. I love you, Hobi. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Lots and lots and lots of love, your soon to be wife <333333

[link4eva]

Kiro’s Work Visit Date (探班之约) Translation [CN]

Hi! Just a couple of notes before you begin reading...

This fluffy and wholesome date was just released (March 11, 2021) in the CN server and will eventually be released in the ENG server sometime next year.

I also don’t know any Chinese myself so all of this translation was done through the power of Google Translate and with help from the lovely @keliosyfan​ .

You can read his Couch Potato call that comes with this date here!

Hope you enjoy!~

*Spoilers ahead for future content!*

[First Part]

MC: So now the question is….

Kiro: Wait a minute! I didn’t seem to understand too much of what was said. Let me take a look!

During the video call, Kiro suddenly moved his face close to the screen with excitement.

Kiro: Miss Chips, do you mean that….you’re going to go in person and be a host on the show?

MC: Pretty much….

Some time ago, I did a variety show about a certain European town called “Cloud Tourism”.

The reason it’s called “Cloud Tourism” is because I’ve never been to this small town before. I only got a preliminary understanding of the traditional customs there through a novel.

Out of an abundance of interest, I consulted a lot of relevant sources and finally released a program with the concept of “seeing words as faces”.

Originally it was just an experiment inspired by an idea that didn’t really make any big splashes in China.

Unexpectedly, an internet celebrity from the small town recommended this program on his personal blog which led to it becoming popular very quickly.

Kiro: Oh….slowly but surely, I figured it out.  Not only has this show received great praise, the local TV station also sincerely invited you to come and do some interviews. Even in the form of a reality show, I must say that Miss Chips is amazing!

MC: ......

MC: I think you understand it pretty clearly but some parts are exaggerated….

Kiro: Congratulations, MC!~

Kiro: If I wasn’t shooting abroad, I would definitely take you there to celebrate! But we can celebrate like we did before….

MC: Wait! Wait a minute! I haven’t decided whether to go or not yet….

Kiro: This is a great opportunity to promote the company. Why are you so hesitant?

MC: Although I have previous experience, this would be my first time shooting as the host….

MC: What if I’m too nervous in front of the camera? It’ll affect the shoot.

Kiro: Miss Chips.

On the screen, Kiro sat upright and pushed his glasses up that were nonexistent.

Kiro: It seems that you’ve forgotten that there’s an experienced acting teacher right in front of you.

MC: Pff….I would like to ask Mr. Kiro how I can act natural in front of the camera. 

Kiro: It is very simple. Step one is to do the warm-up exercises in advance. Your shoulders should also be really relaxed. Then imagine the camera as a friend who can’t speak and has big eyes….

A few minutes later, Kiro was still “teaching” very professional acting techniques on the phone screen.

Kiro: Hello, MC, are you still listening?

MC: Um….I don’t think I can do this.

His bright eyes suddenly crinkled upwards, hiding a triumphant smile.

Kiro: I’m just teasing you. In fact, you only need to remember the first few steps.

MC: But I’m worried that if I get nervous, I’ll forget those first few steps. I hope that I can become Kiro that day!

Kiro curled his lips up again when he heard those words.

Kiro: Then close your eyes and hypnotize yourself….

Kiro: “I am the superstar Kiro!” 

[Second Part]

At five o’clock in the morning in the dressing room at the local TV station.

I tilted my head to face the makeup artist and held back yet another yawn.

The makeup artist whispered a few words to the accompanying translator and then left the dressing room.

Translator: Miss MC, the makeup artist has finished your makeup. The director will be here shortly. You can rest for a while.

I nodded gratefully. This country’s language is one that I’m not familiar with so the TV station specifically hired an interpreter.

As soon as I closed my eyes, I felt my phone vibrate.

Kiro: MC, are you still in makeup?

MC: Just finished. Are you ready to start work too?

Kiro: I’ve already been working for an hour.

MC: Why so early? It’s only five o’clock where you are!

Kiro: Don’t worry, I’m used to this kind of shooting routine.

Although I’ve known before that Kiro started almost every filming session in the morning, this was the first time experiencing it for myself. It’s hard work getting up early and putting on makeup.

What’s more, he often works overtime to catch up on his other stuff and rarely has enough time to rest.

MC: Then you must take time to rest!

Kiro: It’s okay. If I’m tired, I just close my eyes and think of Miss Chips’ smile. 

Kiro seemed to take a deep breath on the other end.

Kiro: Hmm~ Charging is complete!

I seemed to see him being content and I couldn’t help being amused by him. 

Kiro: By the way, what is your shooting schedule today?

MC: It’s sightseeing shooting. The director arranged to take me to several local attractions and I can also choose places of interest. 

MC: The first stop on the agenda is to explore the shop on the pedestrian street.

Kiro: Great! I heard from the crew that there is a famous cake shop on the pedestrian street of that small town. I will send you the address.

Kiro: Only by filling up your stomach and replenishing your energy can you be in the best state!

(Cut to the street)

MC: Well….

I watched my stiff expression and rigid body in the video replay. I couldn’t help but curl my toes and pick at the ground.

Director: Take it easy, alright?

I nodded slowly.

The director looked at me with sympathy and discussed some things with the translator for a while.

Translator: The director wants to know if you have anything you want to do. He suggested that if we start with one of your interests first, you’ll get into the right state of mind faster.

MC: Well, there is one place….

I almost immediately thought of the cake shop that Kiro had mentioned.

(Cut to cake shop)

Because of how early it was in the morning when we arrived at this cake shop called “Flipped”, the first batch of pastries had just come out of the oven. 

I was standing in front of the shop window outside the store while the director was preparing for shooting and I made adjustments for myself. 

Shoulders down, jaw relaxed, a smile appeared on my face. I recalled the formula Kiro taught me.

Close your eyes. Look into your heart.

“I’m the “not afraid of anything” Kiro!”

A burst of mellow sweetness lingered wantonly in the air. I opened my eyes and focused on the window again.

A pair of bright and familiar smiling eyes appeared in the window. The owner of these smiling eyes waved to me.

I felt my heart jump out of my chest.

Kiro: Hello, Miss Chips~ 

Looking at the two intersecting faces on the window glass, I finally couldn’t help but smile.

Oops, I really did become Kiro.

[Third Part]

I didn’t expect Kiro to have secretly been planning to see me on set. I was pleasantly surprised and realized that I was deceived by him during the morning call.

I made a “follow me” gesture to him through the glass.

(Cut to alleyway)

In the alleyway next to the cake shop, I wiped away the shock in my heart and checked, again and again, to make sure that no one else had followed us.

Kiro: Don’t worry, MC. Almost all the folks in this small town will have no idea who I am. And….

He pointed proudly to the sunglasses on his nose.

Kiro: I also came prepared.

I looked around and around and deliberately put on a face of worry.

MC: Why are you here? Weren’t you filming in another country?

Kiro: Actually, I don’t have any shooting arrangements today. It only takes an hour and a half to fly to this country from the shooting location. And it only takes two hours to take the train from the town’s airport.

MC: No matter how easy you make it sound, that was no easy journey….

MC: And with this time off, you should be resting in the hotel.

He pulled down his sunglasses aggrievedly. 

Kiro: But I really wanted to visit you at work for once, and give you encouragement at your side, just like what you did for me last time.

Kiro: And more importantly, I really missed you…. 

(Here’s a cute little clip of this dialogue uploaded by @cheri-translates​  !)

MC: Kiro….

All of my pretentious arrogance dissipated in an instant and I was about to reach out and hug him. But, he crossed his arms in front of him.

Kiro: But speaking of shooting, I just observed it secretly and your performance does have some small flaws.

Kiro: Your expressions are small and stiff, your movements are rigid and tiny, and your eye contact flutters from time to time….

Kiro: Also, you can walk without looking at the camera…. If I look at the camera while walking, [robot noises] don’t I look like a robot?

The more he talked about it, the more he assumed the coach position. He made a great show of it too.

I was so embarrassed that I nodded my head to accept the criticism with shame.

Kiro: Hahahaha--I’ll stop teasing you. 

He leaned over and squished my cheek and curled his lips again.

Kiro: Although, I can see that you are a bit nervous. I’m used to seeing your confident working style as a producer on set….

Kiro: It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you this nervous. You can do it, love! *Did my own interpretation of what he said here cause I had no clue what Google was trying to say lol.*

He opened his arms and the morning sun fell on his shoulders.

Kiro: Come on, Miss Chips.

Kiro: Thank you for your hard work. For that, you get a rechargeable hug from Kiro.

I nodded my head hard and as soon as I took a step of joy, the director poked his head out of the alley. 

Director: Stand by, sweety!

I slammed the brakes and took out my phone, pretending to take a call. I shook my head slightly at Kiro.

He immediately showed me an aggrieved expression and I gave him a wink.

MC: It’s okay, I’ve already learned a recharging trick from Teacher Kiro.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, sketching a picture of bright, smiling eyes on the pitch-black canvas.

When I opened my eyes, those smiling eyes gradually merged with Kiro’s in front of me.

MC: Charging is complete~

(Cut to inside cake shop)

Under the guidance of Kiro, “the super professional”, I calmed down and tried to get into the shooting state.

However, in order to not affect my shooting state, Kiro pretended to be a stranger and waited silently near the shooting location.

When I don’t know which dessert to choose, he would raise his voice and give me a hint.

With pastry crumbs hanging on the corner of my mouth, he pointed at the corner of his mouth and winked at me until I understood what he meant.

During the filming, there were children running around noisily, so he used the tablecloth on the table to do some tricks to attract their attention.

Perhaps because of his “invisible” companionship, I really became more natural before I knew it.

Translator: The shooting in the store is OK! The director said that we are going to shoot some scenes on the pedestrian street next. Miss MC just needs to walk around the street casually.

After checking the route with the director in the cake shop, I realized that the table where Kiro was sitting was empty.

(Cut to the street)

I walked out of the cake shop and looked around but did not find him.

Without giving me too much time to think, the director shouted to start behind the camera.

I tried to walk the streets with peace of mind but my eyes subconsciously looked for Kiro.

Although the sun is shining in the early spring, there is still a bit of a chill in the air that has just warmed up.

Inexplicably, my heart is a little empty.

There was hustle and bustle on the other side of the street and my gaze followed the prestige in the center surrounded by a group of local children. The familiar blonde hair was dazzling and shining.

Kiro was holding a few yellow balloons in his hand with the children cheering around him as if he had helped them stop the balloons from flying away.

He squatted down and handed them the balloons one by one.

As if he could feel my gaze, he turned around and gave me an unreserved smile.

The empty part of my heart instantly filled up at this moment.

I retracted my gaze and found that the director was gesturing at me to continue walking. I quickly continued to walk.

When I pretended to spontaneously look to the other side of the road, I found Kiro with his hands in his pockets walking at the same pace as me.

Although separated by the road, he walked with me in such a special way.

The approaching noon sunshine finally had the temperature as spring.

[Fourth Part]

The shooting had finally come to an end before dusk came.

But Kiro disappeared when I was filming the last scenic spot.

As soon as I had finished work, I took out my phone to check it and found that Kiro had sent me two text messages half an hour ago.

Kiro: MC, I will have filming tomorrow so I have to rush to take the last train.

Kiro: Also, you performed well. I know my MC is the best.

I hurriedly called Kiro but the call informed me that his phone was turned off.

I took a look at the time and it was about 20 minutes away from the shooting location to the train station in town.

Maybe Kiro has boarded the return train and even arrived at the airport….

However, before I could think rationally, I didn’t hesitate to reach out and stop a taxi.

(Cut to the train station)

Due to the small population of the town, the train station at dusk is deserted.

I couldn’t understand the local language on the big screen at the station so I stood on tiptoe and looking into the waiting area in the hall.

Benches in the waiting area, a window for manual ticket purchases, on both sides of the platform, beside the vending machine.

Kiro wasn’t there.

My shoulders drooped in disappointment and I walked slowly towards the station gate.

The setting sun gives off the last bit of its light and the half-curved dome clouds shroud half the station hall in the shadows.

A slender figure stepped out of the shadow and looked at the phone in his hand, his face was as disappointed and lonely as mine.

The sunset gradually kept coming down for another minute but it just happened to pass through the windows around the station, covering the entire lobby with a layer of gold.

I looked at the young man illuminated by the golden light and couldn’t help but shout.

MC: Kiro!!!

He raised his head with a surprised expression.

Kiro: MC?

I waved at him frantically and ran in his direction.

He regained his senses after a brief moment of disbelief and then opened his arms wide like everytime he hugs me.

The moment his breath came to my face, my heart was filled with contentment.

Kiro put a hand around my waist tightly, lowered his head, and rubbed my forehead.

Kiro: Why are you here?

MC: I remembered that I borrowed something from you today, so I ran to pay you back.

Kiro: What’s that?

I tightened my arms around his neck.

MC: Isn’t this for you?

His breathing seemed to be slightly stagnant. He slid his hand on my waist to my hair.

Kiro: Then I’ll gladly take it.

MC: I….

He bowed his head slightly, and put the words that I was eager to confide in between his lips.

.

.

.

Trains in foreign towns are always prone to delays. Thanks to this, Kiro has been at the station until now so we now have the opportunity to be alone outside of our schedules.

As soon as the setting sun fell, the stars scrambled to fill the sky.

We were dressed in starlight, sitting side-by-side on the benches outside of the station, waiting for the late train. 

Kiro: How was the last scenic shoot? Did it go well? 

MC: OK! But when I was eating a snack, I poured all the ingredients inside by accident.

MC: But in fact, you’re just supposed to pick a flavour and eat it as a dip. The director laughed and shouted “CUT”....

Kiro: Pff….hahahahaha! Fortunately, I wasn’t there or I would’ve been laughing even louder!

MC: And there was….

I counted all the interesting things about today’s shooting, and laughed happily with Kiro.

Kiro: I’m glad I was able to come to the shoot today. Otherwise, I would have missed so many interesting things about MC.

MC: Kiro, do you feel that our current conversations seem to have the roles reversed?

MC: I used to visit you at your shoots, and you talked with me about all the interesting things that happened during them.

MC: Today, we “swapped” identities, and I feel a little delicate.

Kiro: Can I interview the delicate mood of Miss Chips?

He held his hand out to me as if he were holding a microphone and placed it in front of my mouth.

MC: Well, when I was shooting before, I could always feel your gaze. I felt it a lot today.

MC: It turned out to be difficult to stop myself from gazing back.

MC: Obviously, I saw you all day, but I had to hold back from looking at you.

MC: Obviously, you are by my side, but I have to resist the urge to hug you….

My cheeks were slightly hot and I avoided Kiro’s gaze. I lifted my head to look at the stars in the sky when I heard a “click”.

I turned my head and found that Kiro was taking pictures of me with his phone, the power bank that I had given him was still hanging from it.

MC: !

I took a look at the phone in his hand and saw the picture.

MC: It’s ugly! Delete it quickly!

Kiro: How is it ugly? The most natural MC is obviously the most lovely MC!

MC: I’m not letting you keep the power bank to charge your phone as revenge. Delete it quickly!

I struggled to snatch the phone from him, only to find that all the pictures he had taken today were of me.

I randomly clicked on a picture Kiro had taken of me eating a grilled sausage with an exaggerated expression, with me nervously facing the table in the background.

MC: You little….!

I glared at him angrily then clicked on other photos.

I frowned and watched the replay. I was stubbornly asking for another shot and I looked at him in the distance.

Kiro: Miss Chips….

He prolonged the ending, slowly coming closer to me.

Kiro: Don’t delete them. They’re all my precious memories of you. I want to keep them.

MC: No wonder your phone is out of power. You took too many photos!

He heard the relaxation in my tone and happily took the phone from me.

Kiro: Is this really too much? Compared to all of the photos of me on your phone, this is nothing out of the ordinary.

I blushed and tried to retort.

MC: Well, that’s because you are Kiro!

Kiro: But to me, you are MC.

He said this in a sincere tone.

Kiro: Just like you said, I also felt MC’s unusual mood today.

Kiro: I was worried whether you would be thirsty after talking for so long. And worried that you’d be tired after shooting for so long.

Kiro: You did well. I'm proud of you.

Kiro: The most important is….

He slowly came closer to me. I was the only thing in the reflection of his eyes.

Kiro: Although the scenery of this small town is beautiful, your shooting content is also very rich.

Kiro: But just like this moment….

Kiro: Under the starry sky, I can only see you.

Kiro: You are the unique star in my world. 

[END]