#it all got to me!! i am genuinely thinking about the coworkers a lot and it broke my heart

[ginkovskij]

by the way i am officially sans emploi and, for a series of circumstances that we'll ignore for the time being, straight back into depression's arms. so if you want to keep me company sometimes in watching a movie or something just dm me

[sureuncertainty]

at least now i've gone through an important tumblr rite of passage, watching a longtime mutual become a radfem :/

[mr-ribbit]

gonna rant again bc im seeing a lot of trans women on my dash having to carry the heavy lifting to argue for their basic respect and a lot of other queer people who want to ??? get mad about that apparently. for the record as usual: im tme, im not speaking for anyone besides myself and my perspectives, but I am trying to reach out to fellow tme people to level with y'all from inside the house.

i thought we all got past the 'calling people gendered terms when theyve asked you to stop' thing in like. 2012. i swear we were allllll on board with not calling women dude anymore, nerfing sir and ma'am, neutralizing collective terms for groups, and all of that was like, during the onceler era. that's how we got off-putting shit like folx into the mix - remember???? why are we here again.

to those who I've seen claiming that they REALLY genuinely don't want to offend anyone, and that theyre trying to understand the dude thing, and they don't want to be seen as transmisogynistic when they aren't: ok. let's talk about it. step one, stop sending that really loaded anon to a trans woman you don't know, and close that in-group hatepost with 100 replies from people name-dropping trans bloggers they don't like. try to open your mind and assume for the duration of this post that I am not cynically trying manipulate thousands of tumblr users into making Bro the next big swear word, but a fellow queer human being who thinks you're all being pretty intentionally obtuse about an upsetting trend in our community

to be clear: this post is about the issue of trans women being called bro, dude, man, etc., particularly in recent tumblr discourse about transmisogyny, and the backlash they face if they get upset about it. this is also maybe moreso about the shitty ass excuses I see tme people make for why they supposedly can't stop doing this.

so let's go through some of the things I've been seeing people say they don't understand, supposedly in earnest, about this issue

"I DIDNT USE DUDE AS A MASCULINE TERM. I CALL EVERYONE BRO. MAN IS A GENDER NEUTRAL TERM"

I'm not actually going to exhaust my list of reasons why dude/bro/man are not strictly neutral, but you should be pretty aware that all words have context. Dude might be seen as neutral in many contexts, sure, but 'woman who is frequently called a man by others' is a situation where the context adds extra meaning to your words, just like calling someone "sweetie" might be neutral in some cases, but if you've got the context of knowing that's your coworker who's half your age, it's a bit less neutral. If you're not capable of reading that context and being tasteful about when you say dude, then you need to at least be ready to respond gracefully when someone asks you to stop. This is the part I'd rather focus on.

"BUT I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY. IM NOT TRANSPHOBIC"

I think you should consider broadening your perspective *beyond* your intention behind the word. people may already understand that you meant the word neutrally and therefore didn't have transmisogynistic intent, but that's not really the entire scope of what people are saying. if that's your only concern, you're just trying to clear your record, not actually listen to what they're saying.

there are lots of words people don't enjoy being called, and in most cases, when they say 'pls don't call me that', people respect that and move on. even if the word isn't a slur, if it hurts someone's feelings, we all as a society have agreed that it's pretty shitty to keep calling them that. if your friend asked you not to call them 'buddy' anymore because their dead grandparent called them that, or something equivalently personal, you'd probably respect that instead of telling them 'but I call everyone buddy!!' right? even if you didn't really understand why it bothered them so much?

there is a prominent tendency for trans women to be denied this privilege, and when they ask not to be called dude or bro, people don't seem to respect this request as much as they would in other situations. when I accidentally use a gendered word and someone tells me they don't like it, I try to respond with something like "my bad, I didn't mean it as misgendering but I can see you were still bothered by it, so I'll try not to keep saying it. sorry!" and most people are willing to accept that. when trans women ask people this favor, a lot of people get VERY defensive, and treat the request as inane or unfair, instead of just apologizing and moving on. this is why people are upset when this happens, and it's why people are calling your actions transmisogynistic

also like you might not be doing this, but a lot of people DO use dude and bro in an intentionally gendered way to make trans women uncomfortable. it's a power play bigots use to talk down to them or otherwise maliciously harass them. do you know what arguments they use to defend that behavior when called out on it? 'oh I call everyone that' 'dude is gender neutral calm down' 'dont overreact its just a word'. by acting like this, youre all just giving credence to those same arguments.

"WELL THEY SHOULDNT GET SO MAD AT ME WHEN I DIDNT MEAN ANY HARM"

they can get as mad as they want!! also, are you sure they're 'mad'? or are they just expressing their feelings about a negative topic to you, and it makes you feel bad, so you have to make them out to be unreasonably emotional? how do you think they should have phrased 'dont call me that' to better spare *your* feelings?

also like, in most cases, these women do not knowww you. if your main response to someone saying you disrespected them is to say "I didnt mean it that way, I meant it in a friendly neutral way", well that's NOT YOUR FRIEND! she has no idea what your opinions are or what you think of her!!! she has no reason to assume you only upset her in a friendly way and not a bad unfriendly way! but she did get upset, and she did the one thing she can do which is *tell you what upset her* and your response is to say "well actually you shouldn't be upset at all"??????

and another thing:

it's not just the issue of using the word 'dude', it's because you're coming off extremely dismissive of women who have asked you to stop doing something that harms them, and because your argument is basically that they just shouldn't be so bothered by it. or that they're stupid, irrational, or otherwise crazy for telling you that it bothered them at all, just because you Technically used a gender neutral word according to Your Rules. be honest, does that seem fair? If people were calling you something that bothered you enough to ask them to stop, and they responded like this, how would it make you feel?

focusing solely on your intent and what the words mean when you use them is the same thing as saying "just get over it". no woman should need to Prove to you that 'dude' is gendered for you to care about what she's saying. the fact that you're asking people to do that sucks and makes you look bad, which is why people are arguing with you and calling you a misogynist.

especially those of you who are only doing this with trans women who are actively arguing with. you're wielding misgendering as a cudgel and we can all see it, grow up please.

[g3tj1nx3d14]

the people demand caitvi <3

usual warning, after warning is NSFW, pre is SFW may contain spoilers up to act three !!

SFW

• Caitlyn tends to call Vi really sweet things like “my love, darling, my Violet” and all that jazz. She likes that Vi’s not really used to that sort of elegant tenderness from anyone but her. She likes to whisper it in Vi’s ear as she hugs her from behind.

• Vi usually sticks to “baby, babes, sweetheart” with the occasional cupcake because it’s cute. But, she does find it absolutely hilarious to call Caitlyn the most strange, out of pocket pet names ever. “Sugar tits” is a favorite of hers, considering the wide eyes and loud “Violet!” it gets her.

• Vi can cook the basics very well. She thinks any fancy techniques are a waste of time, so she just sticks with what she knows. She’s never measured out loud a day in her life. She just knows.

• Caitlyn can make really good recipes, but it’s only recipes. Put her in the kitchen without a cookbook and she’ll be very confused. She knows a few familiar recipes from her family by heart, but if you asked her to make anything she doesn’t have a recipe for either on hand or in memory, she’ll definitely try! It won’t be edible, but it’ll be… food?

• Vi snores LOUD. Caitlyn has ear plugs loud. She also sleeps like she’s dead. Head back, jaw open, laid out. Caitlyn would check her pulse if she didn’t sound like a broken boat. She also sneezes SO loud, like a dad loud.

• Vi takes injuries well, almost scarily well, but she so gets man colds. You know the type- a fever of 101 and suddenly she’s laid out on the couch, covered in tissues, in four blankets, begging Caitlyn for chicken soup. “You wouldn’t get it, I really am dying this time!”

• Caitlyn has an extremely intricate shower routine. Thousands of dollars of soaps, lotions, scrubs, masks, all that. One time Vi got a long lecture after letting Isha (WHOS TOTALLY ALIVE AND HAPPY.) make potions with them.

•Vi likes to do a lot of the physical stuff around the house. Not that she doesn’t think Caitlyn is capable- hell, she really is- but she likes to brag about it and flex her muscles when explaining that she fixed something.

now it’s freaky time

NSFW

• Vi is absolutely a boob guy. She’s not exactly subtle when staring. In fact, she’s genuinely one of the least subtle people ever. She’s a big fan of just randomly giving Caitlyn a huge from the back and coping a feel.

• Caitlyn definitely likes to use toys when she’s on top. Intricate ropes, gags, lacy blindfolds- everything’s pretty.

• Vi is the type to be just a little insulted if there’s any implication there’s stuff she couldn’t do without her hands, mouth, and a lot of dedication, but she eventually relents and tries them. Caitlyn accidentally created a monster with that, as she realized overstimulation was certainly her favorite thing when she was on top.

• Caitlyn likes to play music when she’s on top. She really likes to play a specific few songs. Vi quickly realized that Caitlyn— definitely not intentionally— had accidentally gotten her to get randomly turned on when hearing the songs. Caitlyn didn’t go into it with the idea to do that, but she found it really funny once she realized what it did. “It’s not mean, Violet. It’s payback for the time you called me sugar tits in front of my coworkers!”

• I see a lot of people say that Caitlyn would get back in her intimidating dress up when she’s on top, but I raise you— Caitlyn has always listened to authority. It made sense; she was practically born to follow the rules. She has a bit of a complex about making people proud of her. So— Vi putting on something similar to the whole intimidating outfit. Caitlyn never imagined she’d be very into being bossed around, and Vi never realized she liked it either, but the first time Caitlyn ended up on her knees, addressing her like some authority figure (I know Ma’am makes sense gender wise, but just tell me Vi wouldn’t like being called sir.) while Vi was still in the whole dark outfit? It’s a thing with them now.

• On a similar note, Caitlyn tends to listen whenever she hears certain cues. Heavy boots entering a room, a snapped finger, all that. It’s a lingering annoyance from her time working under certain people. When Vi realized this, she tested it out- and realized she could accidentally get Caitlyn’s full attention with just a little sound. She (with consent) loves to use this against her.

• Caitlyn has a bit of a habit of reading filthy books. She enjoys them— although she claims, for her own ego, it’s for the plot. Vi likes to sneak a look at whatever smut Caitlyn’s been reading and take tips from it to see if Caitlyn will react. Caitlyn noticed, and now whenever she finds a really good smut book, she’ll “accidentally” leave it open to a page she likes. (Only where Vi could find it, of course. The idea of anyone else knowing anything about her sex life is terrifying to her.)

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

You've been quietly seeing Cooper for months now. Avoiding the public eye while he's still in the midst of settling a long, drawn-out divorce. He's been exploring new things with you. You're a little on the demure side but willing to try most things when it comes to what Cooper Howard wants. Being in similar networks, one night, you both go to the same party separately. You get a bit drunk and wonder off from everyone else, with Coop following. Sexual exploitation, cnc, degradation? Soooft Cooper after. Idk just a thought. 👀

Duplicity (Part I)

Pairing: Prewar!Cooper Howard x Female Reader

Word Count: 11,275

Warnings: smut (18+), DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT, Possessive!Prewar!Cooper, jealousy, dubious consent, infidelity (physical and emotional), decomposing marriages, acrimonious divorce proceedings, alcohol use, choking, biting, degradation, mild exhibitionism, unprotected sex, breeding kink, creampie, soft ending.

Notes: I am such a sucker for darker portrayals of Prewar!Cooper so this took root right inside my brain, like, instantly. I think there's a lot more of The Ghoul already inside that man than many people talk about.

Thanks for the submission! I fell in love with this prompt and I will absolutely be continuing it; honestly, I think this version of Coop has so much potential and this framing is great fodder for freaky Prewar! antics. There's so much this man wants to try with (on) you.

This is more 'dubcon' than 'CNC', but there's always future installments. If y'all have ideas you'd like to throw on the pile for it, the askbox is always open! The length of this absolutely got away from me and I sincerely apologize for that. I am so bad at estimating how long my fics are gonna end up (I had originally guessed this would be around 8,500). Thanks for your patience and please enjoy!

"Oh, come on, you're gonna tell me you're not at all excited about this?"

Your coworkers words were more grating than usual as the two of you rode up towards your office in the elevator, alone save for the anticipation filling the small space thanks to the early hour.

"You really need to get a grip. Don't you also work at a movie studio? Haven't you met actors before?" you teased, trying to remain good-natured despite your annoyance, and despite your nerves. It was rather rare for you to be nervous about meeting with studio talent these days, but hey; even you were prone to a little fangirl behavior from time to time. You were, in fact, excited for a work meeting for once.

You'd heard Cooper Howard was actually nice compared to a lot of the actors you had to work with.

The early morning time slot you could certainly live without, as well as the hard edge of nerves that you couldn't shake, embarrassingly. For five years, you'd been employed by one of the country's largest and most prolific movie studios practicing contract law. Well, in name you practiced contract law. In reality, the department you worked for was so large that you were rarely involved in the actual negotiation process, the exciting part with the intriguing back-and-forth. Instead, you were left to finish things up, dot i's and cross t's. It wasn't exactly thrilling work, nor was it what you envisioned yourself doing when you were in law school, but the pay wasn't awful and everyone started somewhere.

Essentially, your entire job was to run around chasing (or sit around waiting for) signatures from people who usually thought they were better than you and treated you with contempt, so it was often difficult to feel any sort of genuine excitement. Granted, you were a little more of a fan of Cooper Howard than you were a fan of pretty much anyone else you'd met with, but you tried your hardest to remain professional and not embarrass yourself at all times. You'd grown up watching some of his earliest movies with your grandfather before he'd passed, and had even developed a little adolescent crush on him and his famous sheriff persona, but you also saw so much genuinely embarrassing name-dropping and star-fuckery in this job that you were determined to not come across that way.

Besides, there was enough of that nonsense in your household as it was, what with your husband in training as a junior executive thanks to his penchant for that type of behavior.

When you'd married him, bright-eyed and fresh out of undergrad, you hadn't necessarily been head-over-heels or anything, but wasn't that normal? Everyone around you told you that he was a good man, that he was the star to hitch your wagon to, and, in your youth and carelessness, you'd believed them unquestioningly, despite the fact that he never really had actively made you happy. The courting part of your relationship had been more like contract negotiations, long discussions about acceptable and unacceptable behavior in a marital partner until you'd settled on agreeable terms. The wedding had been beautiful and emotionless. You'd assumed that the 'happiness' part would come later, once you were both fully established and settled in.

It never did.

Well, the establishment came; you both graduated law school, you with honors, and when job offers had come in for both of you from the same firm that worked very closely with the studio he'd always talked about working for, you thought the deal was sealed. Your perfect life, perfect marriage were supposed to start the day you signed your offer. You'd found your stride in your work, bought a house, seen him get promoted...and you felt no more positive about him now than you had on your wedding day. The feeling was mutual, and it wasn't hard to tell; he'd had god knows how many affairs, lazier and lazier about hiding them over the years, including a number of flings with his assistant, who was undeniably in love with him, poor thing.

It was because of this that she clearly resented being asked to do anything that had to do with you, including arranging the half-cocked romantic gestures he'd perform in order to show others that he was a good husband. This was mostly made up of having flowers delivered to your office every other week, something he'd never take the time to set up himself, so naturally, it had fallen to the girl. Reserving little effort for the task, she had obviously made a standing order for a dozen red roses, sprinkled with baby's breath, to be delivered biweekly, and left it at that. It was a nice gesture, sort of, but frankly you'd grown tired of signing for the damn things every time when you didn't even like red roses, and he should've known that. You'd been married almost a decade.

Besides, the smell of baby's breath made your stomach turn.

Still, the poor flowers hadn't done anything, so you continued to sign for them, continued to let each bouquet molder away on the little ornamental table in the corner of your office. True, it was nice to have the splash of additional color, the life in the room, but increasingly the thorny blooms irritated you, looking at them distracting you with feelings of muted resentment.

That's what you felt as you looked upon them that morning, rifling through your file cabinet to find the proper contract as you waited, the door to your office standing open and allowing you to hear when the elevator doors opened. Standing there was the famous cowboy, dressed in a wool overcoat and nice slacks, smiling at you as you beckoned him and his companion, a tall, mustachioed man you took for his agent, into your office. Each of them shook your hand and took a seat at your desk, waiting as you made your way to your seat and began to chat with the unfamiliar man about the papers. Talent almost never had anything to say to you in these meetings, in your experience.

However, he surprised you, both by being fairly knowledgeable about the terms of his latest contract, as well as by speaking directly to you in a casual tone that implied he might even see you as an equal. Cooper Howard being so nice to speak to wasn't really a surprise, as he had a reputation for it, but you were shocked that everything he was currently going through personally didn't seem to impact his demeanor.

The woman representing him in his divorce had actually been in your law school graduating class, but you didn't figure that made for very good small talk.

"Alright, let's just make sure everything is squared away and we'll get this signed. " you said eventually, holding the little cluster of papers you'd scrounged up to scan it over. However, as the two watched you, your gaze caught on a misspelling; initially, you felt embarrassed, knowing it would have to be corrected, but then you noticed changes to the actual terms of the agreement and you fell completely silent.

Your eyes scanned slower as you quieted, realizing that the contract in your hands had changes that you didn't authorize, were sure that they hadn't authorized; subtle changes in the language that wouldn't draw much attention unless you were to slowly, carefully read through the entire thing right before the signatures went on...which was usually not the case. By now, the terms had been painstakingly ironed out and the thing had been edited and reread and reedited a million times. Typically, this meeting, the bulk of your job, was simply confirming agreed upon terms, collecting signatures, and filing the contracts away.

Something was awry here.

"I'm sorry, gentlemen." you said politely, sitting up straight and smiling as calmly, as normally as you could. "It seems I don't have the correct paperwork. This can't be the current version of the contract. We may have to delay."

"This is ridiculous. Ever since Vault-Tec took over legal, you people can't seem to tell your ass from your elbow." the mustachioed man rolled his eyes dramatically. "You don't have a para or anything to keep shit straight for you?"

"I really am sorry. It'll just be a few minutes, hopefully." you apologized again, cringing. You'd requested a paralegal multiple times and had been told that your role didn't require one, but you weren't about to tell him that.

"Well, if you're gonna make me wait around, I'm gonna go place a few calls in the meantime."

With that, the man rose abruptly and stepped out into the reception area. You followed him with your eyes, slightly worried that he would hassle your assistant in his seemingly aggressive frustration.

"He won't bother your girl." the man across from you said perceptively, surprising you. "He might seem like an asshole, but he's a good guy. Always done right by me. Just a little overprotective."

"Well, I don't blame him. Especially if he represents anyone else that works for this studio. Now every single negotiation has to come under extra scrutiny, not to mention all the contracts signed in the last year since the takeover..." you mused, a little too honest, but uncaring.

"I mean, if they've got you signing these dud contracts, too, isn't that bad for you?" he asked.

You chewed your lip for a long moment, your eyes dancing over the glass paperweight on your desk calendar as you thought things over. It was a sort of odd moment, having famous movie star Cooper Howard expressing concern for your wellbeing and job security.

"Well, I suppose that depends on how I ended up with a bum copy of your contract. Could just be me being forgetful or grabbing the wrong folder at some point, which would certainly be on me...but if I'm honest, that doesn't really strike me as something I would do. Besides, I don't even recognize some of these terms."

"Lots of interesting stuff happening around here since Vault-Tec started buying everything up." he replied, a glint in his eye as he leveled his gaze directly at you.

"I agree completely. And, again, I'm really sorry about this. Let me look at this and compare it to an old one. I know I have a hard copy of the final edit here, and I know that this one doesn't match it. Just let me prove it and we'll sign the real one, if that's what you want. If not, I guess we'll decide where to go from there." you said, feeling infinitely more at-ease than you had before.

"Think your boss'll be alright with that?"

You gave a crisp shrug.

"I feel like my time working for these people is dwindling. Maybe not immediately so, but I certainly can't see myself advancing here. Don't think I fit the corporate culture. You know?" you laughed, and he joined you. It was almost surreal to interact with someone like him who treated you like you were a real person, who acted like a real person themselves.

"Nice roses, by the way." he said, gesturing with his head over his shoulder to the flowers on the table. "Pretty. Are they from your husband?"

His question seemed innocuous, so you weren't sure why your response came out the way it did.

"Uh, yeah. He sends them every other week. It's nice." you replied, your tone unnecessarily flat and sending his eyebrows raising, his head tilting about twenty degrees in intrigue.

"It's nice, huh? Is he in the dog house every other week?" he joked.

"I just don't really like red roses that much and they're all I ever get." you said simply, unsure how much would be too much to say in this suddenly inquisitive moment. "Sorry, that probably makes me sound ungrateful."

"Lemme guess...you like sunflowers."

His statement actually surprised you, since he was right; granted, sunflowers were about the second most popular flower in the country, and you had several paintings and tchotchkes featuring sunflowers up around the office, but it was still sort of odd to you for him to notice that.

"Observant, huh?" you blushed.

The smile he shot back at you was genuinely heart-racing, sending blood racing to your cheeks and your gaze skittering around your desktop as you busied yourself with a random stack of papers. The meeting finished up quickly when his rep stuck his head back into your office and called Cooper away, sending him rolling his eyes playfully as he reached across your desk to shake your hand once more, thanking you sincerely for your help before politely dismissing himself.

You were still thinking about the feeling of his hand in yours that night when you brought up what you'd noticed with your husband over dinner.

"Maybe you do need a paralegal if you're mixing up your paperwork that badly." he muttered through bites of his entree, not even fully lifting his head to look at you. "I'll see what I can do about that."

You rolled your eyes.

"No, I mean it. I think something weird is going on. Like I said, I went though the copy I kept and compared it to the one we had to sign. I didn't make some of those edits, and the terms of them were so unfavorable for them that I really get the feeling that they didn't make them. What if someone is messing with my paperwork or something? I'm the one that'll have to go to court and defend myself if someone ends up suing the company or the studio for contract fraud!" you insisted, your own meal hardly touched.

"Fine. If we've gotta go to court, we've gotta go to court." was all he said.

"We'd never win, though. They'd have a slam-dunk case."

He laughed in response, and you were shocked at how much the sound annoyed you.

"Oh, please. You think Vault-Tec doesn't have the money to keep them in court forever fighting over it? They'll run outta money eventually. Doesn't matter if they're right." he shrugged. "Don't worry about it. We'll get you a para so you can stop screwing up your papers."

You sat there in silence, unable to formulate a reply in your disgust with him. After a long moment, you excused yourself, emptying your plate into the trash before climbing the stairs to bed. The next morning, you called Cooper's rep the moment your husband left the house and invited him to come and pick up the contract copies from your office, all the discrepancies noted clearly. He happily agreed, the star showing up before anyone else had taken their places for the day.

"You're not wearing your ring." he said as he took the manila folder from your hand. You paused, confused, before focusing on your outstretched left hand and noticing that he was correct; your engagement ring and wedding band were missing, clear tan lines in their absence.

"Oh. I, erm, must've forgotten it at home." you replied after just a moment too long, your eyes flitting between his face and your naked finger as you felt your cheeks warm.

You'd never forgotten it before; putting it on was the first thing you did every morning to ensure just that. It was such a tiny, easy-to-lose bauble. Ever since you'd been given the thing, you'd been afraid of misplacing it and the reaction that would earn you. A muted tingle of worry crept up your spine that you may have dropped or lost it.

Both of them, though?

He thanked you sincerely once more, seeming like he wanted to say something else before dismissing himself. Both of you were a tad skittish at the sounds of people arriving in the hall outside, so you let him go, waving in response to the way he nodded at you as he pulled the door shut behind him. That night, when you returned home, you found your wedding bands sitting right on your bedside table where you left them every night. You were both relieved you hadn't misplaced them and curious about how you'd managed to completely forget about them that morning. Cooper Howard was quite the distraction, as it turned out.

You were still thinking about your interaction a few days later as you poured over already-signed documents from previous months, noting multiple differences between final drafts and signed copies, a feeling of dread building in the back of your mind. That smile he'd shot you from across your desk still managed to distract and make you dizzy, though, even as a memory, one you were indulging in yet again when the sound of the front office door opening broke your concentration.

"Your flowers are here to sign for!" your assistant suddenly called from the front of the office, sending you rolling your eyes at the timing until she followed it up with a pleasantly surprised, "They're extra nice this week!"

This sent you moving towards the door with just a little more hustle than usual, your brows furrowed deeper and deeper as a realization set upon you: it was the right day, but the wrong week for your usual rose delivery. The usual man was there to drop them off, standing right at the door and waiting politely. Same song and dance as usual.

"He picked out super pretty ones this time. Must be for something special." she mused dreamily from her chair as she watched you sign for them, nodding politely at the delivery guy as he let himself out.

There, on the desk, was a gorgeous, glossy blue vase filled with goldenrod sunflowers the size of your hand, nestled with tall, royal blue gladioluses and star-shaped balloon flowers. You could smell the arrangement from where you stood. Quickly, you carried them into your office and shut the door, not waiting for her to realize the date was off and start asking questions. Setting them on the usual side table, you inspected them closely. Nestled among the blooms was a thick little card, crisp handwriting inside the rich gold border when you opened it that read:

Thank you so much for your help with the contract edits. If you ever need to get ahold of me again, for anything, please don't hesitate to call me directly. - C.H.

Beneath that, a phone number that you promptly wrote into your address book and burned into your memory, a strange tingle in your gut as you looked your gift over once more. The card itself you tucked into your desk drawer, beneath some innocuous, boring papers.

You hadn't done anything wrong, except maybe in your employer's eyes, but you didn't want to risk anything seeming...untoward, despite your inability to simply throw the card away. You had the phone number now and didn't necessarily need to keep it, but something made you feel a little sad when you thought about tossing it in the trash can.

That evening, after everyone else had left, you called the number, fully expecting to have to leave a message and floored when he actually answered, rather quickly, in fact.

"Thank you so much for the flowers." you said softly, almost shyly after the two of you had exchanged fairly formal greetings. You should've followed up the statement with a "...but they aren't appropriate." or a "...but I'm married." However, you did not.

Interesting.

"Well, thank you for your help with the contract stuff. Really, it's so rare to find anyone really honest around here anymore." he said, and you could hear that killer smile in his tone. It sent your heart fluttering. "I'm still not sure what I'm gonna do, but I'll call you when I decide. Or maybe I'll come bother you at your office and see them in person. I didn't get to see the actual arrangement when I went down to order them, so I'm really glad you like them."

"You're always welcome to come see me if you need." you offered up much too quickly. "I usually stay late a few hours to look over things, especially recently."

"Well, you don't have to tell me twice." he replied teasingly.

After that, you'd swapped small talk for a few minutes before getting off the phone, the feeling of not wanting to hang up first heavy on both ends.

After that, flowers you actually fancied came for you every week for months on end, and still came to this day. It wasn't even the same flowers every time. He knew you liked sunflowers, but would often shake things up by sending arrangements of pale asters and black-eyed Susans, buttercups and gerbera daises, all in beautiful shades of rich yellow, studded with clusters of blue phlox, cornflowers, and larkspur.

His colors.

Over and over you'd told him that it wasn't necessary, that he didn't have to spend that much money on you just for flowers. But your arguments were rather flat and halfhearted; not only did you love having the gorgeous, vibrant blooms to brighten your office, you felt incredibly special at the effort he took to specifically gift you something you actually enjoyed. Besides, he refused to hear it, anyway, rebutting that he was a grown man who knew how to manage his money and what he liked to spend it on.

You started breaking up the bouquets of roses your husband sent, distributing them among the ladies in the office; some wanted color for their desks, others something to brighten up their window sills at home, and you were happy to provide.

The baby's breath, however, went into the trash.

You just tried to not think too hard about the lovely gifts technically coming from someone else's husband, including how the first few bouquets had come before he'd moved out of their shared home.

It had been when he'd finally done so that you two really started to become close. Already you'd reached the point of staying late an hour or so most nights just to talk to him on the phone in your office (with the door locked, of course), so you became quite accustomed to getting to speak to him directly, and regularly, especially when something was bothering you. At first, you mostly just talked about your days; you tried to avoid talking about your suspicions about your work, a little nervous about the security of your phone, so you largely listened to him talk about his latest divorce negotiations, his daughter, asking him questions about himself and answering questions in return. Sometimes, you would both lapse into a silence that was strangely comfortable, even over the phone.

Eventually, you both began to to open up more. You confessed that you got married for less than thoughtful reasons at a probably-too-young age, and all but said you regretted it. You also told him that you really hated your job, actually, and mused about the kind of work you'd do if you weren't where you were. Maybe something in the nonprofit sector.

He told you about his decision to get involved with Vault-Tec, about how he felt like Barb used his career to bolster hers, not caring what the impact towards him was.

Surprisingly to you, he never so much as implied that he resented her for it, but you could sense it there, deep beneath all of the very apparent feelings of betrayal and sadness. One night, he confessed that as much as he loved his wife, he didn't feel like he truly knew her anymore, that he'd always thought they'd shared the same values, and he now didn't think that was really true. There also seemed to be something else, something darker beneath it all, something that frightened him, but you could never get a good sense of what it was.

Over the next few months, you grew closer and closer, stealing rare opportunities to see one another for a few minutes during the day, trying to tide yourselves over until you could talk at night. Quickly, your talks became a necessity for you, a peaceful refuge where you felt you could truly get things off your chest with no judgment.

It became apparent that he felt the same the first night he'd called you at home.

The phone's ring had actually frightened you awake, sending you grabbing at the handset that lived next to your side of the bed in a blind, half-conscious panic. Your husband, asleep (or, based on the smell, passed out) beside you, didn't really stir.

"Hello?" you murmured, groggy with an edge of alarm.

"Hey." came a soft, familiar drawl. "I'm sorry to wake you. I didn't really know who to call."

Cooper's voice was a welcome sound, but the room, the whole house, was so quiet you weren't sure how much you could say without being overheard. For a long moment, you were silent, struggling to decide on what to say.

"Are you safe?" was the question you decided on. It seemed a little dramatic, but you weren't sure what was going on.

At the other end, there was a muffled squeaking sound, like someone shifting around in a leather chair, and a tinkling like ice in a glass.

"Yeah, m'fine. Just sitting here in the new place." he said, followed by an audible swallow. "So quiet. It's weird."

"Mmm." you responded cautiously.

Things were quiet for a time, and you felt a little awkward just sitting there, saying nothing, straining to hear any sounds from him.

"I miss you." he said suddenly.

"Miss you too."

"I'm sorry." he said again, and you could hear the intoxication creeping into his voice. "I know it's not a good time to call. Should've let you sleep."

"It's okay. Happy you called." you responded lowly, trying to use as few words, make as few sounds as possible. "Worried about you."

Finally, it seemed he was ready to say what was really weighing on him.

"Haven't slept without Janey in the same house since she was born." was all he said, his voice thick and strange. You wondered if he was crying, and it broke your heart.

"M'sorry, honey."

The pet name was soft and bittersweet as it rolled off your tongue for the first time. You wanted so badly to be able to be there for him, with him, keeping him company through this. Holding him.

Maybe if you were quiet, you could sneak out...call a cab from downstairs...walk down the drive and meet it...

But before he could respond, before your plan could form any further in your mind, your husband let out a cough, his chest jumping as he turned over roughly in bed. You lie as still as you could in response, trying to feign sleep, the phone cradled secretively against your pillow until he eventually resumed his deep, rhythmic breathing.

"He's there tonight?" Cooper asked. There was an edge to his voice that you didn't really recognize, but between the liquor he was almost certainly into and your still sleep-addled brain, you thought nothing significant of it.

"Yes." you said concisely, adjusting yourself just enough that you could crane your neck to make sure he was really asleep.

"Alright, I'll let you go, sweetheart. Sorry to bother you."

"You're not-" you began, but the line went dead before you could finish your thought.

The next morning, you'd tried to call him after your husband had gone, wanting to make sure he was alright after your call had ended so abruptly, but it was too late in the day and there was no answer. This made you worry that he was upset with you, that you'd done something or said something wrong in response to his vulnerability.

In fact, you'd been fretting about it, staring at the latest bouquet from him, some vibrant buttercups, chopped short and dotted with blue-and-yellow-streaked African violets, when your assistant poked her head in your door, an interesting glint in her eye as she spoke, pulling you from your distraction.

"Cooper Howard is here to see you." she said with a mild air of impression.

You stayed sitting until he strode in, thanking the girl as he removed his coat and hung it on the stand by your door. Smiling pleasantly at her, he shut the door behind him, hesitating for a moment before locking it. This sent you rising from your desk, making your way around the side to approach him, hesitating as you moved within a foot of him. He looked a little tired, which was unsurprising as you knew his sleep had been poor, but put together as always, clad in what looked like a thin denim shirt covered with a very soft-looking sweater. Standing so close, you could smell his cologne.

You'd intended to ask if he was alright, but you never got the chance. Cooper closed the distance between the two of you, his hands softly cupping your face as he leaned down to pull you into a tender, passionate kiss. You were taken aback a bit by the gesture, but easily let him guide you back a few feet until he was pressing your hips into the edge of your desk as he stole the breath from your lungs. Both of you were left panting when he eventually pulled back, quiet for a long moment as he petted your hair affectionately.

"Thank you for talking to me last night. I really needed it." he said, gazing at you tenderly before kissing your forehead. You didn't know what to say, and didn't get much chance to reply before he stepped away, adding "I have to get to set, but I wanted to come tell you how much I appreciate you. Talk tonight?"

You nodded enthusiastically, somewhat dazed as he went out. That day had dragged by so slowly, the minutes passing like hours until you could speak to him again. The next morning, his newest floral gift had arrived, and it surprised you: roses, but gorgeous, full blooms of a light purple that tickled you deeply. He'd never given you roses before, and you understood why, for sure, but these were beautiful. Your assistant seemed to agree, as well.

"Aww, how sweet." she smiled at you as she appraised the new blooms, leaning down to give them an appreciative whiff. "Love at first sight."

"What?" you asked, brow furrowed slightly.

She nodded to the flowers just inches from her face once again.

"Lavender-colored roses. They usually symbolize love at first sight. Or, at least, that's what I've read. Who knows, could be nonsense."

Her reply made your face redden again, taking the vase into your office and placing it in its usual place of honor. It had distracted you all day, another decade passing in your mind before you were able to call him that night.

"Did you like the roses?" he asked when he picked up. "I know roses aren't your absolute favorite, but..."

"I loved them." you said decisively. The heat in your cheeks was blooming further, intensifying, but the strange excitement that washed over you made it easy to ignore. "I really want to see you tonight."

That evening, he'd come up to your office and the two of you had shared a takeout dinner together, chatting and holding hands until it was time to part ways. Soon you were doing so most nights, ending with you in his lap, his tongue in your mouth as you rubbed yourself against his clothed erection, fooling around like teenagers.

This man was going to make such trouble for you, you could tell.

You also didn't care, really, which is how you ended up on your husband's arm, suffering through one of his colleague's fancy Friday night parties for once instead of sitting at home in your pajamas, clad in an outfit chosen just for the occasion.

Your dress wasn't especially scandalous, a dark grey wrap, soft and stretchy with sleeves that reached your elbows, the hem stopping just above your knee. Something comfortable and elegant, something you could wear to the office.

Something with deniability.

But you were also aware of the way this particular dress hugged every line in your body just right, form-fitting in all the correct places, making you feel feminine and sexy and powerful at the same time. Your husband complained it was "matronly", but you ignored him; his opinion didn't matter. Besides, the thing was nice and stretchy, so if anyone special found their way up your skirt for a few minutes, as you were hoping would happen, it'd be nice and easy to get in and out. You'd even worn a special set of underwear, red and lacy, beneath.

You only slightly regretted your choice of footwear, some very classy stilettos; while they really completed the look, sexed it up a bit, your feet had been aching for over an hour already, leaving you scanning the room for a free seat to flee to once you were able to slip away from the group chat you were currently enmeshed in.

The man you'd shared your home and bed with for the last eight years was strangely affectionate this evening, consistently cradling you into his side as he spoke boisterously and even occasionally sending a compliment your way. It made you wonder which young lady in the room he was trying to impress with his "perfect husband" routine, scanning around and noting several of his type; though, at least a few had already been crossed off the list. They avoided your glossy gaze, turning their faces into their Pip Boys or their wine glasses as your spouse continued to absentmindedly massage at your hip, his arm tight around you as he recited yet another unamusing anecdote to the men standing around you.

Among them was Bud Askins, head of some department of incapable jackasses with no moral compass, though which one, you could never remember. What you did remember was how often you caught him looking at you, the number of times he'd gotten close just to linger a few seconds too long. Fortunately, you'd always managed to slip out of the odd-feeling conversations he'd try to start with you. He wasn't the only one, either; so many of these men seemed eager to betray one another in basically whichever way presented itself first. It made you eager to remove yourself from this corporate world, to find a better way to live your life, and sooner rather than later.

Out of the corner, you watched as Cooper Howard sat on a chaise, sipping a cocktail and eyeballing you so hard you didn't even have to fully look his way to feel his gaze burning into you. You'd been waiting all week to make it to this party, not because you had any particular desire to hobnob and mingle with studio execs and Vault-Tec higher ups, but because you'd known the older man would be making an appearance.

You knew that, personally, he didn't really revel in the attendance of these get-togethers himself, but you also knew that socializing and getting face time with important people was one of the top ways that actors continued to get work. That was why he and Barb had quite literally had to iron out a social schedule with their lawyers: to ensure neither of them had more networking opportunities than the other.

He had to be glad that everything was said and done at last, finalized a few days before. You hadn't really discussed it; he hadn't brought it up much, save for to confirm it to you as truth. It certainly didn't feel like your place to mention it, so you didn't, wanting to be as supportive as possible.

An especially loud burst of laughter drew you back into the present, just in time for your husband to make a joke at your expense, sending you rolling your eyes and pushing your hand against his chest as he bent to pepper your face and mouth with half-assed, drunkenly apologetic kisses. You gave him one peck in return, not wanting to be the topic of gossip for the night. Feeling strange kissing your husband, especially with your present company included, you peeked over towards him as slyly as you could. There was a polite smile on his face, but it didn't touch his usually warm eyes, a tight irritation there as he cradled a half-full gin martini against his chest. A feeling of guilt sunk into your chest, but you were quickly distracted as the group around you moved into the kitchen, sort of herding you along as they went.

A couple hours later, when you finally managed to excuse yourself, the evening had begun to wind down, though not entirely; about two thirds of the guests had slowly flowed out, but those that remained seemed to be getting a sort of second wind where they all convened around the pool outside. You stood hidden away in the corner of the living room the party had vacated from, finally alone save for one or two caterers moving around, collecting abandoned glasses and emptying ashtrays in silence. Scanning the group outside, you failed to locate the one guest you actually wanted to see.

In fact, it had been over an hour since you'd even laid eyes on the older man, and you pondered that fact as you turned and made your way down the hallway, trying your best to look for a bathroom without seeming like you were casing the place or being too nosy. However, the cocktails you'd been nursing just to have something in your hand had been stronger than you'd anticipated, and it made walking completely straight, seeming normal, much harder than you'd thought. Your feet ached deeply from the uncomfortable shoes.

Eventually, you found a nice washroom, decently appointed with a massive mirror, into which you stared for a minute or two, willing yourself to sober up more as you washed your hands. You didn't want to make yourself seem foolish in front of Cooper, and you were fairly positive he wouldn't have left without you two speaking.

When you stepped back out into the carpeted hall, you assessed the wall of windows and the adjacent hall to your right, decided that he likely hadn't gone that way, and turned to head back towards the pool area, almost willing to ask one of the staff if they'd seen the incredibly recognizable man around recently, but you were quickly stopped.

"Nice dress." a low voice murmured, lips pressed firmly and suddenly against your ear as a pair of strong, wiry arms wound around your waist. The gasp you let out quickly melted into a giggle as his lips found the nape of your neck, kissing and nipping there playfully as he pushed his hips against your ass; a much bolder move than he would typically pull, but you were certainly open to his attention as he turned you, pressing your back into the wall behind you to kiss you deeply.

His hands were knotted deep in your hair as his tongue worked his way into your mouth, his thigh rubbing at the apex of your own as best as it could. Soon, you were far too worked up, arms wound around his neck as he shepherded you into a nearby open door, shutting it firmly behind you.

The guest room he'd tugged you into was cozy, but pristine, the low, full-sized mattress to your eleven o'clock covered with plush layers of bedding and rows of decorative pillows. Quickly, he tugged you over to the foot of the bed, urging you down onto your back as he hovered above you, one knee braced on the bed as he latched his lips onto your throat, dragging his teeth and tongue along your pulse point as his hands pushed at your skirt.

Despite the two of you never really going at it like this, his hands didn't stop the roaming along your body they'd started doing in the hall, didn't even pause as he continued to work your dress up your body, bunching it at your waistline, quickly and roughly exposing your lacy red hip-huggers to his hungry eyes. A rumble left his chest, low and deep like a growl, when two of his fingers met the warm, wet gusset covering the mound between your legs. For a minute, he rubbed firmly at your erect clit through the rough material, making you squirm and whimper. Eventually, he pulled his fingers away, tucking them into the waistband of your panties at your hip and yanking at the seam there.

"Wait, baby." you chastised, words still sort of slurred, but they obviously didn't register or were ignored, as he continued to yank at the fabric until it gave way under his hand, pinching lightly at your skin as he ripped the leg of the garment open before repeating the motion on the other side. This made you frown, upset at the loss of your favorite pair of underwear before he'd even properly gotten to see them on you.

"Cooper, stop." you said, trying to push your hands against his chest, your heart racing when he continued to ignore you, yanking the fabric loose from beneath you and stuffing it into his pants pocket.

Your lover's lips were attacking the exposed side of your throat and shoulder, nipping and sucking and huffing, your back pressed firmly into the plush mattress as you wriggled beneath him. Your entire body felt like it was on fire, between the one-too-many cocktails you'd had during the party and the way he was touching you, moving you, positioning you the way he wanted as he softly gyrated in between your legs, kneeling over you on the edge of the bed.

"Maybe we should wait." you breathed, your breaths deep and deliberate as you tried to sober yourself up enough to string together a clear thought.

It would've been difficult enough simply trying to resist his kisses, but your head spinning from the alcohol only made it harder. Still, this was some random Vault-Tec executive's guest bedroom. There was a party going on. Your husband was likely still outside mingling, possibly looking for you. The odds of that weren't high, but they weren't zero. While the two of you had fooled around a bit up until now, his hands slipping up your skirt once or twice during your make-outs in your office, you couldn't help but feel like you wanted things a little different for the first time you really had sex, for when you really took that plunge and committed to this path.

The man on top of you seemed to feel differently.

"Don't think so." he purred lowly into the crook of your neck, running his teeth along your collarbone and making you shudder. You could smell the gin martini he'd been holding earlier on his breath. "You made me watch him touch and kiss on you all night, and now you're gonna make it up to me."

Cooper's warm, softly calloused hand found your throat, holding you firmly as he gazed down at you. He wasn't choking you, per se; at least, not in the way that you would've anticipated someone would choke you, squeezing around your airway until your breathing was cut off. No, instead, he pressed his fingers and thumb into the soft flesh on each side, digging into your twin pulse points and slowing the flow of blood to your brain.

It didn't hurt or make you feel panicked. In fact, quite the opposite happened, your squirming finally ceasing almost entirely, your brain buzzing with warm, tingly docility. Between that and the already warm feeling coursing through your veins, you haltingly allowed your defiant legs to fall open halfway, slowly forgetting the reasons you'd been resisting, forgetting where you were.

"That's a good girl. You know who you belong to, don'tcha?" he praised, his free hand stroking the sensitive inside of your thigh reverently. The feeling of two of his thick fingers sliding inside of you suddenly sent you whining in response, both at the stretch and the slight sting of it. That sent a smirk ghosting across the actor's face, leaning in to run his lips along the soft, flushed skin of your cheek.

"Pretty little cheatin' slut. Now, be quiet and let me have what's mine."

His words both stung and fanned the flames in your gut, leaving you feeling frozen under his touch as he pulled back to look at you, now free hand leaving your throat and moving up to finish pulling the top of your dress down enough to expose the bra beneath.

"Mm." he hummed as he ran his free hand along the softness of your exposed clevage, though it was a curt sound. "This why you didn't wanna fuck me? Had other plans, huh?"

Briefly confused, you shook your head vigorously, your heart rate revving up once more at his tone.

"It's not like that, baby." you pleaded hoarsely, but your protests died on his tongue as he forced it back into your mouth, his hand knotting into a fist between your breasts, twisting the stretchy nylon of your bra's waistband around his knuckles and using the leverage it gave him to yank you up, dangling you for a few seconds above the bed as the seams popped and cracked at the tension. He was trying to destroy the thing.

A small whimper of discomfort left your throat as you felt the hooks in the back digging into your skin; the noise seemed to lift him partially out of the fugue he was immersed in, and he dropped you back down to the bed, the cups now bunching uselessly over your breasts, leaving them exposed to his warm hand. He was gentler with them than you thought he'd be, softly cupping them and rolling each nipple between the fingers on his free hand before sliding it up to cup your face, holding you and making you look at him as you muffled your cries into his palm. Your vision was blurry with unshed tears.

His fingers were still buried as deep inside you as he could get them, fucking you shockingly rough, pushing you closer and closer to the edge as he continued to toy with your aching clit. One particularly perfect movement made you cry out rather loudly, clenching around his fingers rhythmically as you came close to your peak.

"Nuh-uh. If you're gonna cum, honey, you're gonna cum on my cock." he whispered, his voice more steady than you'd heard it all night as he pulled his hand from between your legs. "Is that what you want?"

You couldn't stop the way your head set to nodding, the fat tears in your eyes finally spilling over and running down over his fingers as they cradled the side of your face, still muffling your sounds. Your eyes slipped shut for a moment, trying your hardest to collect yourself to some degree as you could hear the quiet sounds of his belt and fly coming undone.

A small voice in the back of your mind noted that he definitely wasn't wearing a condom as he let the leaking head of him trace back and forth through your soaking folds, tapping along your clit and gathering the slickness there as he teased you. The worry you'd felt melted away rapidly with his teasing, though, and soon you were breathily begging him to fill you, to properly fuck you.

Your name dripped from his tongue, syrupy and hot, as he pushed inside you.

"Fuck." you cried.

You couldn't see well in the dim glow of the bedroom, but the sensation, the slight burn of his girth stretching you open was vivid and detailed as he slowly began to work his hips back and forth, giving you a few breaths to sort of acclimate to his size before moving more earnestly. The bed frame beneath you was surprisingly squeaky as he fucked you harder, and you wondered, mortified, just how apparent the sound would be from the hallway. At least you knew he'd locked the door.

However, you didn't stay clear-minded enough to fret forever, his cock inside you and his fingers back on your clit rapidly soothing you into a state of hypnotized bliss, your body jolting along beneath his with every rough thrust into your flesh.

"This body belongs to me. This pussy belongs to me." he growled, his hips slamming into yours with bruising force.

"Oh, Cooper. Fuck me, baby." you begged, your nails digging hard into his shoulders through the softness of his shirt.

He sighed your name in reply, an echo following it a moment later.

The sounds of your coupling filled the room, making it difficult to hear anything outside, save for the occasional very loud splash from the pool in the courtyard.

He slid his tongue back into your mouth, winding and rubbing it along yours as he continued to use your body. Another echo of your name from somewhere that wasn't here.

"I think someone's looking for you, sweetheart." he whispered in your ear, sliding his tongue along your lobe and making you throb around him.

It was clear as day now: someone out in the hall was calling your name. Someone with a voice that sounded suspiciously like your husband's through the thick wood of the door.

Suddenly, there were shadows moving beneath. The sound of the handle jiggling made you freeze like a deer in the headlights; his movements slowed, but he didn't stop pumping between your thighs as he cast a downright impish look from your face and back to the door.

"Occupied, man." he called, pulling back enough so that his free hand could move down to slowly flick at your clit once more. Your hand that wasn't trapped between your bodies moved to cover your mouth, desperately trying to silence the whimper his touch drew from you as he continued on. There was some more shuffling, the shadows barely visible beneath the door dancing back and forth.

"Oh, erm. My bad. Sorry." the voice called, moving away.

It resumed calling your name as it faded to nothing.

Shockingly, you felt almost nothing, save for the older man's pubis grinding against your clit deliciously as he slowly began to build his pace back up, the creaking of the bed frame slowly growing louder and louder once more as the calling faded. There was no guilt, no sour sting of knowing you were betraying someone who supposedly cared about you like you thought there'd be. There was only the pleasure your lover was gifting you and the satisfaction of knowing you wouldn't be pulled away from him in this moment.

When the calling faded away to nothing, he picked up the pace tenfold, fucking you with wild abandon as the bed slid back against the wall with a thud. Your vision was quickly blurring again under his intense, animalistic attentions.

"Fuck, Cooper. I'm gonna cum..." you breathed harshly, tucking your head against his firm chest, your cheek rubbing against the overheating, rumpled silk of his shirt.

That drew a groan from him, his hips stuttering for a moment before regaining their tempo.

"Yeah? You gonna cum all over my cock, pretty girl?" he replied, his question low and urgent as his lips pressed to the crown of your head. "Go ahead, make a mess all over me."

Regardless of how quiet you tried to be, a fluctuating, nasal whimper escaped you as you fell completely apart under his touch, feeling your greedy cunt fluttering as you did, trying its best to milk him for everything he was worth. It must've worked well enough, as he seemed immediately overwhelmed by the sensation, his hips beginning to buck wildly as his fingers dug harshly into the plush meat of your outer thighs.

It was nearly impossible to remain quiet as he fucked you hard through your orgasm, pushing you closer and closer to overstimulation as he continued to abuse your swollen walls. Cooper's breathing was loud and harsh, broken up with muttered curses and little huffs of praise that made you clench around him even harder. At one point, he lowered his mouth back to your chest, grabbing the closest nipple between his teeth and lathing at it with his tongue, making you moan loudly.

The sound must've really turned him on, as he let out a long, low groan in response, his hands pushing on the backs of your thighs to lift your legs up onto his shoulders, folding you in half as he brought his other knee up onto the bed, thrusts reaching even deeper than they had before. You jumped as his fingers found your clit again, rubbing it quickly and firmly, again rapidly bringing you right back to the edge, your aching pussy fluttering hard and making him groan once more.

"Cum with me, baby." he whispered feverishly, lips pressed to your forehead as his nose tickled along your hairline. "Cum with me while I fill up this pretty pussy."

This made you whimper, his words shooting down your spine and straight into your gut, which clenched tight in response, and it was all over for both of you. Your second orgasm wasn't quite as intense as the first, but it was no easier to stay quiet as you rode out the overwhelming waves of pleasure tucked beneath him, especially as he dug his teeth into the side of your neck to keep the growl that escaped him muffled. The sensation of his warmth pooling in your womb, his teeth back on your skin made you see stars.

You weren't sure how long you two laid there, him slumped loosely on top of you, most of his weight supported by his knees as you held him close, your own legs lowered back down to wrap around his waist. He was still throbbing away inside of you, and the feeling was so surreal; you and your husband hadn't had sex for months, but before that, it's not like it was a regular occurrence, and you certainly wouldn't let him do this. For years you'd been afraid of catching something...or having a baby that would tie you to him forever. When you'd first married him, you'd just assumed that you would eventually feel ready to have children with him.

Then again, you'd also assumed you'd eventually really love him, or feel loved by him, and look at how that worked out.

"Come home with me." your lover murmured into the side of your sweat-slicked throat. "Stay with me tonight."

His request settled into your chest weightily, excitingly, tingling its way upwards over your breastbone and spreading to your mouth, sending you scrambling to hold back the grin that wanted to steal across your lips. Your heart raced with a kind of pure, joyous elation you hadn't felt since you were young. A response didn't immediately jump to your lips, however; instead, you brought both hands up to cradle the back of his head, petting his slightly damp hair and neck affectionately.

Were you really considering just flat-out not going home to your husband? It wasn't like he'd never done it before. Hell, for all you knew, he'd given up his search for you and gone home with one of his roster. Maybe that hadn't even really been him at the door. Maybe it was Bud Askins looking to finally shoot his shot with you or something.

Frankly, you didn't really care.

"I'd love to." you said quietly, both of you moving to sit up.

For another few minutes, you sat on the mussed bed together, holding and petting tenderly at one another as you let your breathing and body temperatures return to normal. Eventually, the man beside you stood to right his clothing, his belt jingling musically as he tucked himself away, still turned so you couldn't really see anything. He was such a tease.

Pleasantly, you noted that your face no longer burned like it had earlier; that is, at least, until you stood to join him and felt a quick, warm rush of slickness race down your inner thigh, thinning and cooling as it wound its way around the back of your calf towards the floor. The gasp that left you instantly drew your lover's attention, and his gaze was still shockingly hot as he scanned you up and down.

"Makin' a mess." he teased, cutting his eyes at you playfully as he tugged the bedding loose, using the corner of the top sheet to quickly and crudely clean you. An indignant little noise left you at that, embarrassingly close to a cluck, which he chuckled at as he tossed everything down on the floor.

"Don't want some poor, unassuming soul sleeping in the mess, you know?" he explained when you looked at him quizzically.

"Oh...I still feel kinda bad that someone's gonna have to remake that bed." you responded, leaving the 'likely an underpaid housekeeper' part unsaid.

"Point me to the linen closet, sweetheart, and I will happily make it happen. Little late to save that labor now." he smirked. You took his point.

"Alright, let's get out of here before you get us caught." you replied, rolling your eyes to try and keep the impending grin off your face, failing miserably when he swatted you firmly on the ass. Your hands flew to your mouth, covering it to hide the cackle that jumped out of you, sending you glaring at him.

"C'mon, this way." he grinned, tugging you back down the hall towards the bathroom you'd used. Confused, you followed wordlessly, moving closer and closer towards the wall of "windows" you'd seen before until you realized that one was really a door to the gorgeous deck you could now see. As you stepped outside, the last remnants of the day's scorching heat kissed at your face. You were pleasantly surprised to see a set of stairs that led down to the ground level, into what looked like a strange statue garden: clusters of pillars along a winding gravel path, topped with geometric marble shapes of seemingly no significance. The whole thing was fairly ugly and reeked of "more money than taste", which wasn't surprising for one of the best and "brightest" at Vault-Tec.

At the very least, there were some very lovely bushes and flowers, the aroma of which enveloped you as the two of you descended the wooden stairs. Maybe fifty yards out, the edge of the flawless black driveway was visible.

The two of you stood out back for a while, hidden beneath the deck stairs; you leaned against the warm terracotta wall and watched him smoke a few cigarettes as he finished sobering up enough to drive, the ghost of his hands still running all over your body, his teeth still digging into your neck and making you shiver despite the balmy heat. Absentmindedly, you wondered if you would bruise where he'd bitten you.

You stood with your legs close together, a little afraid that you'd have another mess on your hands if you weren't careful. He didn't seem to notice, but you were quickly realizing that he was slicker than you'd given him credit for. In an attempt to distract yourself, you turned your eyes to the treeline, watching the crisp leaves sway back and forth in the soft breeze. You let out a breath you didn't know you'd been holding.

"I can't believe the number of people who had the gall to ask me where Barb was tonight." he muttered eventually, breaking your companionable, though contemplative shared silence.

You turned your gaze back to him, but remained silent, sensing one of the times he'd appreciate a chance to simply vent. Cooper Howard wasn't really a man to complain much, so when he wanted to, you let him.

"It's not like the divorce was a secret or anything. Been in and outta the headlines, the trades for a fuckin' year. Not like we both haven't been out alone. But it just so happens that tonight of all nights everyone wonders where she is within earshot. I don't understand the desire to play weird mind games with people you barely know."

There was real, deep frustration in his tone as he spoke, his eyes gazing out over the ugly little statues, unseeing. Softly, you reached out and put your hand on his arm, massaging gently.

"Some people just really enjoy other people being miserable because they, themselves, are miserable. Marriage issues are like catnip to the gossip mill. Especially the marriage issues of the beautiful and famous." you teased, fawning towards him and batting your eyelashes as you leaned against his shoulder.

"Oh, it's not just my dead marriage they're out there yappin' about, sweetheart." he grinned, burning cigarette hanging from his lips as he leaned towards you. "You had a face like a slapped ass when he kissed you, y'know. They ate that shit up."

"I think you mean you ate that shit up." you rolled your eyes, cheeks hot again as you turned your face to hide from him, from the truth of his words. It was rapidly coming to a point where you couldn't even stand your husband's touch. Maybe it really was time to start considering your options for divorce.

Well, the fact that you were even standing here said that it was time for divorce. No maybe about it. Your stomach turned unpleasantly, wondering how much fighting and negotiating you'd have to do yourself.

"Hey." he called, pulling you from your snowballing thoughts. "It's all gonna be alright."

You didn't look straight at him, but you let him slip his hand into yours when you felt it brush your palm. The feeling was shockingly soothing, and you quickly pulled him close for a long hug, smiling into his chest when you felt him kiss the top of your head.

"How are we getting outta here?" you asked when you pulled back, giving a casual glimpse around when you heard a particularly loud sound from the pool on the other side of the house. "Where's your car?"

"It's down the hill a bit. I just walked up here." he said, nodding towards a little gap in the trees you could now see, just the slightest glimpse of yellow nestled there.

"You parked that thing on the street?" your voice piqued, knowing how particular he was about his beloved car. To be fair, it was very nice.

"Yeah, in Beverly Hills. I think it'll be fine." he chuckled. "Besides, you never know when you'll need to make a quick and low-profile getaway. A valet would make that awfully tough."

Taking in the smirk playing at the corners of his mouth, the devilish way he was looking at you again, you couldn't help but suspect that this whole ordeal had been orchestrated. You also suspected you ultimately didn't care; you felt happier, calmer than you had in a long time. Cheeks burning again, you looked away from him shyly as the two of you fell silent once more, the stars struggling to be seen overhead among all the light pollution of L.A.'s buzz as you began to walk towards the driveway, still hand-in-hand.

The sidewalk was dark, save for the elegant street lights, the sky overhead painted in subdued inky indigos as you made your way down to the little yellow roadster. You weren't surprised when he led you to the passenger's side and opened your door for you.

When he slid into his own seat, his hand went right to your knee, petting sweetly as you two began the drive to his new place. You sat back in the plush, soft leather seat and watched the fancy, oversized houses go by. The affectionate hand on your knee slipped upwards after a few blocks, kneading the muscle of your thigh absentmindedly as it slowly worked its way beneath your skirt. This sent you tensing in anticipation, but his hand simply reached your mid-thigh and sat there, warm and pleasant, for the rest of the drive out of the hills, moving northeast towards Pasadena. The drive was longer than one would think, for the distance...if one had never been to Los Angeles, that is.

Overall, things were quiet again, and your mind turned to reviewing the events of the party. When the image of him standing over you, your leg caught in his grip as he maneuvered it over his shoulder flashed across your vision, you felt your swollen cunt clench, embarrassed that your engine was still running after all that. Not nearly as embarrassed as you felt when another warm trickle ran down the inside of your thigh, pooling in the skirt of your dress, though. You fidgeted in response, reaching underneath yourself as casually as you could, trying to gather the soft fabric to soak up the mess. Fretting, you tried your best to remember anything you could about stain removal on leather as the car slowed, creeping down a little residential street lined with condos.

The little brick townhouse looked nice, even from the outside, though certainly much less opulent than the home he'd lived in for the last fifteen years. You'd seen photos of it. This place was still lovely, though, and the smell of fresh paint tickled your nose as the garage door opened and then closed behind you. The room was pretty empty from what you could see, save for some boxes stacked in the corner and a tool bench, as you turned to find him staring right at you, his hand finally slipping further and further up your skirt until he was softly brushing at your slit with his fingers again.

A huffing little moan left you, quiet and tense, as two of those long fingers slipped back inside you all of the sudden, pushing whatever had leaked down your leg back up inside you. You clenched around his hand involuntarily, and he let out a dreamy sigh in response.

"Still makin' a mess." he murmured, leaning in and pressing his lips back to yours as his free hand moved up to cradle the back of your head. For what felt like an hour, you simply sat in the quiet garage, immersed in one another's breathless kisses just like all those nights in your office. Except now, there was no chance anyone was going to come along and interrupt you.

The fingers inside you remained still throughout, his thumb stroking teasingly at your abused bud before eventually sliding his hand away.

"Alright, kiddo. Let's go inside." he smiled, turning to pull himself out of the low-sitting vehicle with just a bit too much swagger and making his way to your side. Letting out a deep sigh, you took his hand as he offered it, cringing at the wet feeling of your inner thighs. The shit-eating grin on his face was impossible to avoid as he leaned in close, the musky, fading smell of his cologne wrapping around you.

"By the way, if you make a mess on my new floor, I'm gonna make you clean it up with your tongue." he whispered, his lips brushing the shell of your ear as his fingers played in the stickiness coating your skin. An involuntary groan left you, your hips twitching towards him with zero permission; that drew out a gasp when you felt something poking you back, digging into the softness of your belly.

You got the distinct sense that the evening was far from over.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hey, steph! how are you, like, genuinely? not the small talk. i wanna listen

Hey Lovely 💜🖤

I want to apologize for putting this off for so long... which should be a clue as to how I am actually doing.

Honestly? Not good, but I'm trying my best. It's been... a time. Will put under a cut for those who don't want to read about the tagged items.

TL;DR – my real life is a bit chaotic, and I hide a lot from y'all because I REALLY try not to be negative here since my blog is where I come to be happy AND because I am a very private person, but I try my best to just keep going day to day as the chaos settles down slowly.

I've got some good things coming though, so I hope a week's rest next week when I'm off (and will probably take a break from here too) will reset my brain.

Work has been insane, and is most of the cause of my mental distress for the past few months. From Easter until Canada Day Weekend at my job is lovingly referred to as "Silly Season" simply because of how on-the-fly, balls-to-the-wall our workload is until summertime downtime officially begins for us. Without disclosing too much, it's basically non-stop, long hours for me until one of the 3 break weeks we get during the this long stretch happens where, incidentally because of the nature of my job and the team I work on, it actually gets BUSIER for us.

It actually ended earlier than we expected this year (yesterday) and we'll be "quieter" until the end of September now. See an opportunity, I actually took next week off between the two long weekends because my mental health has taken a severe hit and I'm having trouble just... enjoying things? I'm haven't gamed or drew in a few weeks, and blogging and writing feels like a chore. I literally just come home, file this blog, reply to one or two asks, and then go to bed, and do it all over again the next day. Day in and day out, for 3 months. On weekends I have to force myself out of my apartment because I KNOW I will sink lower if I don't leave.

On top of that, my brain has convinced me that literally everyone hates me: friends, coworkers, family, you guys, my damned plants. I just feel very alone these days and... I'll be real here, I've almost abandoned this blog a few times in the past few months. I feel like I make fic lists that no one reblogs or likes and tell me they're all shit. I post my art and I barely break 20 notes. I write something and I get maybe 2 likes. I can't really answer any thoughtful asks because my mental state's been in the shitter for months. I desperately want to reply to the few sexuality asks I have and I physically can't. Being on my computer – after working ON a computer for my day job for 12 hour days everyday – feels like too much, so I try to limit my time on the blog now too.

I just try to keep carrying on, encouraged by the once-in-a-blue-moon testimonial ask I get thanking me for still being here. I thank YOU guys for reminding me that people still like coming here.

Stressed about money and food and rent just like everyone else, and just getting frustrated at other things.

And finally, my uncle (my dad's brother and my godfather) hasn't been doing well health-wise, and he's being moved to assisted living next week. His health has been declining since Easter, so it's been a bit of worrying time for relatives.

Having my therapist helps a lot. She talks me through a lot of my complicated feelings, my sense of self and ways to cope with my anxiety and stress. I'm talking to her again next week, so no worries, gang. As I said, I just keep on keeping on.

Some positivity though:

I booked next week off to try to just... recenter myself. To forget about everything and TRY to get back to doing the things I love. I will probably take a break from this blog as well during that time to limit my social-media time. It's not ideal but I need a break from my computer, I think.

I go to the gym a lot more these days, which has helped with the seething annoyance I constantly have at work. Usually feel better after it.

And because of the gym and getting out more, I've been slowly feeling better physically, better than I have since before 2019. The break from work is for the mental health, LOL.

I'm getting my hair recoloured next week. Can't afford it, really, but I just REALLY need to feel better about myself again, and I always feel so different when I colour my hair. I was doing so good for awhile. I want that again.

Anyway, I'm sorry to bombard y'all with my complicated mess of a brain. I really do appreciate you asking, so THANK YOU. I rarely get asked in real life if I am okay because I keep very private due to past people betraying my trust. And I don't like seeing people unhappy, so I feel if I tell people about my problems, then I feel I am a burden, so I just... continue existing.

Thank you for letting me be a burden just this once.

[heartfullofleeches]

Here to once again advocate doll pilot reader this time with a clown performer mix. Quirky scientist reader who has the brains, but not the smarts when it comes to interacting with real people and partners with a tech company for the funds and equipment to make a functioning robot to get around town. The contract comes with the added deal of reader becoming a star on a show they've had in the works for a while about an android learning the ropes of life as a human - which in turn works in favor for reader and their poor social skills

Reader presents far more cheerful than they are in person most of the cast assume their robot to be advanced a.i. Their genuine confusion on basic human educate and them stuffing bagels in their mouth to take to their human self sells their clueless act well. A few might've developed a little obsession crush on the bot but alas it could never be... If only...

"Hey, can you pass me that charger?"

"Sure." Their co-star smiles as the android unstraps the bracelet from its arm and plugs the cord into an outlet on their wrist - hooking the charger up to the phone in their hand. It yawns without a breathe - rubbing at its eyes. So cute♡- Just where did they get the parts to make this bot.... what's that room on their screen?

"This? It's my bedroom. Needed to do some cleaning today but obviously I had work. Might do some while I'm sleep since my link we have is neurological."

It sure is.... wait- huh?

"Nobody ever tell you? Actually, only like... three people know so I don't blame you. I'm human just like you.. well, the me back home is. I have severe anxiety and not as chipper as I am on stage. Nice to meet ya - name's Y/n, but I'm sure you already knew that."

... ah.. that - definitely wasn't in the pamphlets.

In come the - innocent queries about the real you. Your bot is modeled off you - are you as cute as it? What's your full name? Address? Oops- looks like your charger disappeared. Filming took extra long today - might run out of battery before you get home. Maybe your kind, well meaning coworker can bring it to you?

crackpost under cut

Yan: I'm so happy to finally have you home, angel. Anything I can get you?

Human Reader: Just a glass of water, please-

Yan: anything for you dearest~

[Human Reader kicks off their shoe and takes the sleeping pill from their sock as their Yan returns]

Human Reader: Thank you- [swallows the pill and passes out - their robot kicking down the front door, smacking the shit outta their yan, and carring their human body back home. Yan, broke jaw and all, takes a picture of their sleeping angel carried away in their own arms]

Yan: worth it...

-

[Robot Reader picks up groceries after work covered up by a surgical mask and an oversized sweater. One of their fans sneaks up and tags magnet to their backside]

Yan fan: found you, dear~

Robot Reader: oh! Haha, ya got me! Would you like an autograph? Here- [wheels their cart into the fan and sprints off into the parking lot.]

-

Human Reader, watching Yan make out with their robot before their identity is revealed thinking noone is watching:

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for asking out my manager?

Hi there. Trust me this is a WIBTA and not just dating advice.

So I (35F) am basically working at my dream workplace. I cant say what exactly, because I know people follow this account there, but suffice to say its in a desirable industry with a lot of passionate folks, and while its a big (~150 people) place, there's an atmosphere of kindness and joy I've never seen anywhere else. I know a lot of you probably hate me for this, but I am truly aware how rare a workplace this is, and I am grateful. I dont take it for granted. Sometimes the work itself truly sucks, and the pay is outright atrocious, but when your coworkers have your back, it makes all the difference. They accept me even tho I'm trans, and when I've been sick or injured they make sure I'm taken care of. I feel like they are a family of sorts, and I've been working there for over a year now.

Anyways, this wonderful place is held up by a lot of wonderful people, but one in particular is my manager (30F). When I first got hired, I noticed she was cute, but more importantly she was welcoming and accepting. I set aside those feelings, of course, because its a workplace, but they havent gone away.

But lately, this all started to change. We now spend a lot of talking! We have lots of common interests, and there have been nights when both of us will stay for HOURS while the other works, just to chat about whatever! We even text a bit, even about not-work things. Sharing fandom stuff, whatever. The more and more we talked, the more I fell for her. I could hear her go on for days, even if its something I dont care about. Hell, she could read the dictionary and I'd be sitting there grinning because I get to hear her talk. I've got it bad! And then, a few weeks ago, she even brings up how she's given up on dating...but before I could ask more or say anything really, a coworker interrupted and the moment passed.

And here I am, weeks later, smitten like crazy. And I'd say "oh she obviously likes me, she sticks around for you, shares stuff with you" but she's like this with everyone. She's a bit airheaded honestly about it, I mostly find it endearing, but she could absolutely just be doing it because she talks like that to everyone. She's bisexual, and very pro-trans, so I dont think that would be an issue in any way.

But here's where the WIBTA part comes: I have told a couple other coworkers, and they brought up not only that its a dangerous move to date a manager, but also that it could hurt the workplace itself. I mean, this is a place where so many people get to have a joyful opportunity at life, and as I've said this is tremendously rare...what if I take up too much of this manager's time, and she cant be there for other workers? What if this manager gets fired for dating an underling, and gets replaced by someone awful? There's a whole lot of what-if's floating through my mind.

And then I start thinking, if I ask her out, wouldnt that be putting her in an awkward position? I mean if she doesnt like me, and has to turn me down, she still has to work with me, and I her. I can compartmentalize that, but...she might have more trouble. Is it selfish of me to even try, when I could just let well enough be? And on top of that, what did she mean by "giving up on dating"? It didnt sound like she was aromantic, just that she decided it wont happen, but maybe its just going to be a problem if I ask her out. It feels like the stakes of even asking her out are so high. So I keep chatting with her in hopes that I'll catch a lead, but...idk.

Anyways, I am primarily concerned with if it would be a dick move to anyone in my workplace, especially her, but genuinely I am just lost here. I've never dated anyone at a workplace, but like. The dating apps suck, and I dont think I've ever felt this way about anyone before. I've even thought about quitting or finding another workplace to make it an easier decision, but I feel like thats even worse; like it would put pressure on her to date me because I quit for her or something. So how about it? Should I keep my mouth shut, or is love truly worth all risks?

What are these acronyms?

[jellybeanium124]

pathetic vent post lol

so the thursday before last, one of my coworkers told me she's quitting bc she got a job in the field she wants to have a career in. I was happy for her and told her so, but I also felt kind of sad, because she's a woman close in age to me and I've been thinking we could be friends if I wasn't technically her boss for a little while now. so finally near the end of our shifts (we were closing) I buck up and ask if her she'd want to exchange contact info and stay in touch and hang out after she left.

and y'all she looked so happy and excited to be asked that. absolutely 0 hints that her delighted response wasn't genuine. so she puts her number in my phone, and even takes a silly picture for the contact pic, and I send a test text and she responds to confirm it's her correct number.

on monday I text her about hanging out later in the week, with ideas. on tuesday I text her again, with new ideas if she didn't like my first ones. I didn't mean to double text two days in a row.

nothing.

I wait till yesterday and send her one last text, explaining that I really do wanna be friends, I am more chill outside of work and she's only seen Work Nina if that's what she's worried about, but that I don't wanna bother her.

it's been over 24 hours now, and nothing. part of me wonders if she changed her mind and blocked my number.

it's just really disheartening because I've had another person string me along and then not respond/continually cancel on me pretty recently. after my college friend group broke up thanks to the serial sexual predator (which is a whole nother story, dw he didn't do anything to me, in fact he refused to talk to me the first time we met when I introduced myself and tried to make polite small talk, and I realized several months later that he didn't engage with me at all because he didn't wanna fuck me 🙃) things have been kind of dire in the irl friends department and it's sad and pathetic and I thought finally here was a girl I really connected with, and she liked gossiping with me at work, and she seemed really really excited at the possibility of being real friends with me, and then nope... not a single response to any of my texts. zip nada zilch.

it's just hard... I was basically socially rejected by everyone in my film program at my uni, then I finally started to make friends at the jewish club and a serial predator with an apartment full of guns who sells stolen lego sets on ebay and does cocaine ruins that, and then I'm at work and now that I'm a manager I'm the boss of most people there and I wouldn't be close friends with most of them anyways and the one girl who I think I could be really close friends with fucking ghosts me after I was brave enough to ask if she'd wanna be friends. it's been like five straight years of rejection for me. I always had friends in k-12, I wasn't a "popular kid" but I was well liked among the venn diagram of gays, nerds, theater kids, and band kids and I had a lot of friends in high school. I don't fucking know what happened. and now I'm on meds that are finally giving me energy and happy chemicals so I wanna go out, I wanna do stuff, I wanna walk around, and I don't wanna be an apartment slug anymore but I don't have anyone to do anything with and there's only so much fun you can have by yourself. and I'm still too shy to go to a bar alone because I know I'll stand in the corner paralyzed by social anxiety. I'm trying bumble bff rn but I'm so shit at responding to people and I kinda hate myself for it and I'm trying to do better but I keep not responding to people for too long and yeah maybe my ex-coworker is stuck in that cycle too idk.

oh yeah and the whole past year of antisemitism makes everything worse because I'm deeply realistically afraid that any goyim I meet are going to be hateful hamasniks <3 so that's a fun lil bonus.

jesus man... idfk. it's just shitty. it's just fucking shitty.

[queenlucythevaliant]

hi, young soon-to-be a librarian here, i’ve liked books for a long time but the issue is i exclusively read books below my reading level for no explicable reason, what books do i read so that i don’t just look like a total child managing a library he shouldn’t even have access to. (I’m the co-founder of my high school’s Library committee.)

I really want to be what this library needs, and i know im unqualified but if i don’t do this, nobody will. I am falliable but i’m not gonna let this chance fall by the wayside.

Hi there! Flattered that you think I can opine usefully on this issue.

My general statement to you would be that truths really do coexist here. (1) Just read whatever you want, my dude. Life is short and there are so many more books in the world than you will ever have the chance to read. Don't force yourself to read stuff that doesn't bring you any joy. (2) The books that you read absolutely do shape you as a person, and for that reason it's good to read things that are varied, challenging, and edifying. There are all sorts of ways for those two truths to slot together, and we've got our whole lives to figure it out.

That said, here's some personal experience from my summer at the bookstore that I'll toss up alongside those fairly broad statements:

I became aware very quickly that I am not literary soulmates with any of my coworkers or the vast, vast majority of my customers. I've been told several times now that my personal tastes are "not commercial." Yet every now and then, I'll get to talk with someone who also really loves the same books that I love, and those moments are just magic. In your case, maybe those conversations will be with kids or teens. That's awesome! You and whoever your people are will light up in those moments, and you'll figure out pretty quickly how to be useful to everyone else.

I am interested in reading exactly zero of the Most Popular Books that our store sells. That's fine, and thankfully no one is going to make me. I've found it useful, however, to do a bit of research so that I can make pleasant small talk about those books and recommend them as appropriate. Wikipedia, Goodreads, and YouTube are all your friends here. I've actually really enjoyed that kind of research! Kinda feels like rummaging through the closet of a friend with an entirely different fashion sense.

Another thing that's really useful is making note of where anything you might remotely call a favorite is in the store(/library), especially those that are outside your usual genres. You might be surprised at how varied your own reading is! This is helpful when someone asks for a rec outside your usual wheelhouse. Even if you haven't read 99% of the books in that section, you can point to the one or two you've read and loved and say, "Oh, these are my favorites. Read them," without necessarily having to cop to the fact that you haven't read much else in the genre.

Also worth mentioning: our store manager reads mostly YA and fantasy, and we all respect her and think she's great. Our assistant manager reads mostly YA and romance, and ditto. She's also great. The gal who runs our kids section is the oldest person working at our store, and she reads tons of kids books not just because that's her area, but also because she genuinely loves them. She is super cool and knowledgeable. I really don't think people are likely to look down on you for what you read.

So that's what I've got. Hopefully something in there is helpful. For what it's worth, you sound highly qualified based on what you wrote and I think your earnest desire to serve your community in this way will get you a lot further than having read or not read any specific books :)

[clownprincehoeshi]

Parallel Hearts - Chapter 1

Synopsis: Never in your wildest dreams you imagined that you’ll meet your ult bias. Maybe you finally have your shot at love and happiness. Or not.

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Angst

Pairing: fem reader x idol Jungkook fem reader x idol Mingyu fem reader x idol Hoshi

Warnings: Kissing-Nudity-Sex 18+-Harrassment-Stalking-Death mentions-Cheating

Word count: 4620

This is my first time writing, I hope there are no big mistakes in the text, I am also not a native english speaker. This is chapter 1 from a series of chapters that will be about more idols. The story starts sometime in 2022. Enjoy!

Next chapter

Masterlist

Why does it have to rain today of all days? Is this how this city is welcoming me? Am I not wanted here? Well, you’re stuck with me now, city! I’m not going back to my shitty town and my shitty life. This is a new beginning. Y/N said, as she stacks some boxes on the floor of her new home in Seoul.

She moved here today, after she was offered a new job at an advertising company. She thought she needs a big change in her life. It’s not like her life in her country back in Europe was interesting. Yeah, she had a couple of really good friends there, and her sister, but that was it. She’s not interested in dating or having a man, she’d rather spend her free time on her hobbies and on herself.

One of her hobbies being kpop. She got into it when covid struck and she had to spend her time inside. Weeks and weeks of working from home and spending her entire free time at home, so she needed to find new ways to entertain herself. That’s how kpop came into her life. It was also a period in her life when she felt lonely, because she just ended a 2 year relationship. She put a lot into it, and let’s say she was more than disappointed when the guy told her out of nowhere that their relationship isn’t going anywhere. But that’s life, and she had to move on.

Now, this is like a new start for her, but she will focus on work and making herself happy. Starting a new life in a new country isn’t easy, but her luck is starting to change when she meets her new coworkers. Most of them are Korean, but there are also some foreigners that immediately try to talk to her and get to know her. She’s not a very open and social person, so it’s hard for her to open up and be all friendly with strangers. But Hana from work notices this about Y/N so she will make it her mission to befriend Y/N and make her feel at home. Hana knows how it must feel, she’s been in her shows when she moved to Seoul from Busan.

Hana: I think me and Y/N will be good friends, she seems genuine, so I’m going to invite her to have lunch with me today.

Maddy: Go ahead. I think she seems pretty arrogant to me.

Hana: Stop judging before you actually talk to the person, geez.

Maddy: Whatever, you do you.

So here you are, having lunch with this girl with bright brown eyes, named Hana who just seems so nice. It makes you want to be friendly and nice back. But you’re curious as why is she being like this with you, so you ask.

Y/N: Soooo… I don’t want you to think I am being rude or anything, but I am curious about why you approached me.

Hana: Well, I also moved from a different city like 2 years ago, and I know things must feel weird for you now.

Y/N: Yeah, it does feel weird. And I am not the most social person. I am a little concerned about how people will see me and if I will make any friends here.

Hana: Oh, don’t worry. I’ll be here, we can be friends. Deal?

Y/N: Deal.

Hana: Stick around me and you’ll end up with a lot of friends. You could say I’m pretty popular.

Then she winks cutely at you, smiling.

In these weeks that you have grown to know Hana, you have learned that she’s is indeed popular, she’s sweet, kind, had a ton of friends and acquaintances. She’s so cool, you think to yourself. Also, thank god she’s into stuff that you too like, for instance kpop. You haven’t met that many people that are into it. Strange, you think.

It’s Friday evening and a text from Hana pops up on your phone screen.

Hana banana: Y/N, I think it’s time

Y/N: Time for what, silly?

Hana banana: For you to meet some of my friends

Y/N: But I met your friends?

Hana banana: Naah, these are other friends that I haven’t told you about

Y/N: Ok?

Hana banana: But I needed to be sure about you

Y/N: What you mean?

Y/N: Hana?

Y/N: Hana banana?

But she didn’t reply that night. She called you the next day, saying she wants to come over to talk about her friends. Was she hung over from last night? How much did she have to drink? Was she drunk now? Did she drink first thing in the morning? What’s with the mystery? You scratched your head as you loaded the washing machine. You’re waken from your thoughts by the doorbell. Hana must be here. You open the door and she’s storming inside, with a big grin on her face.

Hana: Ok, here you are

Y/N: Yeah, I should be here, it’s my house. Are you drunk? Where did you disappear last night?

Hana: I was with my friends and I told them about you, so they got curious and told me to bring you next time I meet them.

Y/N: And are they like spies or something? What’s with the mystery? Are they aliens?

Hana: I was thinking to prank you and just not tell you who they were and see your face when you meet them, but it would not be fair. But you need to look your best if you’ll meet them

Y/N: It’s not like I look like shit when we go out

Hana: Y/N, come on. Sometimes you dress like a homeless person

Y/N: That’s how I like it?

Hana: Nooo, you need to look your best for this one

Y/N: I think the fuck not. Not dressing up for no man

Hana: It’s Jungkook. You’re going to meet Jungkook, bitch. He’s one of my friends. And all the 97 line.  Jaehyun is my cousin and sometimes he invites me to their dinners and hangouts with the other guys

Now… in your head there were conflicting thoughts. First thought was that this was a lie, there is no way in hell that the universe was so kind to you after all the shit you’re been trough in your life. She must be saying this to prank you, But what a stupid prank this is. Nobody should play games with you when it comes to your ult bias, JK. What is she thinking?

Y/N: You trying to die today?

You’re starting to get all red, you can feel it. You’re starting to get hot and angry. Angry at her for being such a pain in the ass. She knows you don’t like this type of shit, why is she doing this?

Hana: I am not lying!!! Look

As she takes her phone out her bag, she starts to show you photos and videos of her with the guys. Them, eating, drinking, taking night strolls, car rides, laughing, having fun

Remember that first thought? Scratch that. Those other thoughts? Irrelevant. Now you’re only thought was that one tik tok where Sponge Bob was putting on a maid outfit.

You grab Hana’s hands, look her in the eye and quiet sets between you two. You stay like that for a few moments. Then tears are forming in your eyes and they start to roll down your cheeks that are not a dark shade of pink, because you got angry before you got excited. You cry. You ugly cry.

Hana: What the fuck? Why you crying?

Y/N: What am I going to weaaaaaar?

What you’re going to wear. That was your fucking concern. Really? Well, duh!!! It’s Jungkook. He’ll see you. You. Why and how you’ve gotten so lucky, you don’t know. And the rest of the day you’re a ball of nerves, because you will see him tomorrow.

You can barely sleep that night. As usual, you spend your late hours in bed, watching Run BTS and Jungkook reels until you fall asleep. At 6 AM. You think you’re crazy and you will look like shit tomorrow. This is not the time to say I don’t give a shit how I look, I’m not going to look perfect for any man. But he’s not just any man, is he? No no. He’s the perfect man, you’re ideal man. How is he not everyone’s ideal man?

The next day you make sure to eat properly, to take extra care of your hair and skin, because you only got 4 hours of sleep last night. Thanks, Instagram for making reels a thing.

It’s 5 PM and Hana will be here any minute to pick you up. You’re feeling like shit. You feel like throwing up or shitting your pants, you don’t know which. You call you bff who’s back in your hometown. You’’re sure she’s awake, she’s a night person like you.

Y/N: Wifey, what am I going to do? What if I do something stupid in front of him? Should I just not open my mouth at all?

Bff: What? No, wtf! I mean, I know you’ll be weird and all, but just relax. Just be yourself, maybe try not to look like you trying to kill people, you know.

Y/N: Great talk!

Hana texts you she is downstairs. You grab your bag, check yourself in the mirror and leave your apartment. When you get into Hana’s car she starts whistling

Hana: Yooo, you looking for a girlfriend? I’m single.

You slap her shoulders and start blushing. But you know you’re mostly blushing because you know who you’re going to meet. But what if he’s not going to come? What if something happens and he can’t come? Shit! I wanna put my head into sand right now.

You arrive at the place you’re going to have dinner and drinks. You’re not much of a drinker, never been. In fact, you hate pretty much any taste of alcohol. It’s just not for you and your sensitive tasting buds. And you never try to drink just to please the people around you. No, you don’t care about that. So you won’t drink tonight either, unless they have something sweet. You like sweet alcohol, it’s tasty.

Hana walks in front of you, arriving to a private room and opens the door. You hear voices inside and your stomach shrinks into a little grain of sand. Oh god, I’m going to die!

She greets the people inside, everyone sounding friendly and nice, but then she moves. You were trying to hide behind her, but you’re been revealed now. You bow, greeting everyone. You’re so shy that you can’t even look them in the eye. At least not for more than 0,00001 seconds. You could be an octopus with how fast you feel your face changes color from normal to red. But you love octopuses, you find them cute. Your mind flies to octopuses when you’re meeting Jungkook. WTF. Focus!

Jungkook’s POV

You’re already at your second drink and you feel just a tiny tipsy. You hear the door opening and there is Hana. Oh, this means her new friends must be with her. But you can’t see the friend. You were about to ask about her, but then Hana moved from the way and there she was. Was she hiding behind Hana? That’s hilarious. She must be nervous, cute.

But when you see her, it’s like everything slows down. Like in those movies when the main character appears, looking all cool, and everyone is starring. This is how it felt. How can anyone be this attractive? Have I been drinking too much? I just had one glass, the hell. First thing you notice it’s her hair, because she was kind of looking down at first, then she bowed and her long, golden hair moved towards her face like the softest silk. You notice her big bright eyes, the way they avoided yours and that shy smile. She had a beautiful smile. She was wearing a cute short dress, revealing her shoulders and legs. Well, wow is all that you could say. Good thing nobody heard you. You hope.

Y/N’s POV

Hana points you to sit between her and Jaehyun. There is another girl there, and you find out it’s Eunwoo’s girlfriend. Wow, it must be crazy hard for them to hide their relationship from the public. I don’t really envy that, though. I wonder if Jungkook has a girl too. Jaehyun hands you the menu and tells you to pick whatever you like and he’ll order for you. What a gentleman, you think.

Y/N: Oh oh, beer and sprite.

Jaehyun: Interesting combo, never tried it.

Jungkook: Never to late to try new things.

He says that, while sipping from his glass, looking at you with hooded eyes.

Shit! Why are you doing that, Jungkook? I am weak! Stop with those eyes!!

You’re so happy when you mix your beer and sprite in your little glass and take a sip. The day got better and you feel like you can do this. Whenever you have your favorite stuff around, you feel more like home and it gives you confidence. Like your favorite drink, or food you like, or a song you love, or a doggo.

You’re pretty quiet, but that’s just you. You’re a die hard introvert and you take time to feel comfortable around new people. You’re happy thought that nobody says annoying stuff like “oh, you’re so quiet”, “You don’t talk?” and other shit strangers say to you when they first meet you. It annoys you to the Moon and back that some people are so unaware that not everyone is like them, extroverted, outgoing, super social, loud.

Sometimes, when you’re in a mood to put those types of people in their place, you fight back with “why are you so loud? Why do you talk so much?”. They get pissy, but you don’t care. You like your little bubble and you let only your people inside, the ones that care to understand.

You’ve had already 2 glasses of beer-sprite and a glass of strawberry soju. It’s sweet, you like this one. You feel a little social by this point, but still super shy to look at Jungkook. And what’s worse is that he’s just across the table, right in front of you. You need to look left or right to avoid his eyes. You only look his way when you’re sure he’s doing something and has his head turned away from you. But the alcohol is fucking with your eyes, so at some point and you think about admiring him a little more and you look. You look straight into his big eyes, because guess what. He was already looking at you. Good thing you’re sitting, because your knees become jelly. You do the unthinkable and for once in your life you don’t move your eyes. You keep them on him. And he keeps his eyes on you. What’s going on? Why is he looking at me? What do I do? Do I have something on my face? On god no, I must have something on my face, shit.

You must feel brave today, because you ask him:

Y/N: What’s wrong, do I have something on my face?

But you’re dead serious and while touching your face. He giggles

Jungkook: No no, you’re good. Sorry, I think I was starring too hard.

He takes another sip of his drink, while saying “cute” in a low voice, but you heard it and it made you blush. You felt like a big ball of lava right now. The Jungkook thinks you’re cute. The universe must be joking right now, making fun of you. Is this a dream? Have I hit my head one day and I’ve been in this dream since? When did your life become this? You were never a lucky person and it feels weird.

You observe Mingyu in the corner of your eye, kind of like trying to start a conversation with you. You don’t know much about him, you just know he’s Jungkook’s friend and he’s also in a band, but that’s about it. He starts to fiddle in his seat, you feel his eyes on you.

Hana: What’s with you, Mingyu? You seem a little agitated.

Mingyu: Oh, nothing. Just trying to hop into the conversation you’re having with your friend. I’ve heard something about going to a concert next week?

Hana: Yeah, I want to introduce Y/N to the kpop concert life, she hasn’t been to any so far and I think that’s wack.

Mingyu: You really must go, you’ll love it. What show you’re going to?

Hana: Ateez, we love them. You know I have a thing for Mingi.

You push her shoulder a little, knowing what she’s thinking right now, because you know your friend has a dirty mind.

Y/N: Girl, behave, not in front of my beer.

Mingyu: Oh, so who’s your Ateez bias then, Y/N?

Y/N: Yeosang. You answer shily.

Mingyu: Really now. And why is he your bias?

You feel Jungkook’s eyes on you and a rush of heat runs through your body.

Y/N: Well, I like his personality. He’s introverted and shy, has a great sense of humor, and he’s hot but at the same time really cute and adorable.

Mingyu nods like he’s in agreement, and then he’s asking the craziest question.

Mingyu: Who’s your bias in BTS?

You choke and you feel like you don’t know what words are. What’s speaking?

Y/N: I won’t tell you, since Jungkook is here. It feels weird

Mingyu: Oh, come oooon! Pleaaase?

Jungkook: Dude, it doesn’t matter. She’s right. I am here. Maybe you’ll find out another time when I’m not here.

Ugh, your savior. How can he be more perfect? He saved you when you were feeling awkward.

Mingyu: Damn, was just trying to make the night more interesting. Sorry, guys.

He says with a pout, the others teasing him. He seems like a big puppy. He’s so tall but so tiny at the same time.

The food is here. You let them order whatever they wanted, you had no idea what to choose. You just knew you don’t anything too spicy or weird. You can’t wait to eat, because you feel fucking hungry. You’re not something to shy away from eating, and even eating a lot. So you start with some soup, then some steak and all kind of grilled stuff. You just love Korean food, so tasty and filled with different flavors. You wish your best friend was here with you. You think to yourself that this is the happiest you’ve ever been. Eating delicious food and being in the same room with your ult bias. What could be better than this?

Well it could be better than this, but that’s another story, something you fantasize about when you’re alone.

Jungkook and Mingyu, seeing as you enjoy the food, the offer to help you with the meat. They put it on the grill and cook it for you, then put it on your plate.

Hana: Wow, guys, you’ve never done that for me. What’s this, now? Acting nice for the new girl?

Mingyu: She has been nice to us, you’re mean.

Jungkook starts to laugh, because he knows Hana always teases and bullies Mingyu. They all tease him and they do it because he never gets upset, he’s just that nice and soft for his friends and everyone loves him for that.

Mingyu, being the extroverted guy that he is, tries to find out more about you, so he goes crazy with the questions. He’s also had a few glasses, so you answer all his curiosities.

Mingyu: So, Y/N, tell me.

Y/N: Yes, Mingyu?

A pinch of pink appears on his cheeks, hearing his name on your lips, sounding so pretty.

Mingyu: Well, how did you end up in Seoul, why this city?

Y/N: Umm, long story, but to make it short, I have been a fan of Korean cinema, then started watching dramas too, then I thought I want to learn the language because it sounded so interesting. I already knew English pretty well, Spanish, and a little of French and german, so I wanted something different. Then stuff happened in my personal life and I needed a big change, so my boos from back home told me about this job opportunity in Seoul, since she knew I spoke the language already. I didn’t think about it, I just booked a flight and here I am.

Jungkook: Your Korean is really good, though and you know so many other languages, wow. You’re really smart.

Y/N: Oh, thank you.

Now you feel yourself blushing again, but what’s new.

Mingyu: Do you have a boyfriend?

You almost choked on your food. This man.

Hana: You have no shame today, Gyu.

Mingyu: Hey, we’re just getting to know each other here, we’re practically friends now. Right, Y/N?

Y/N: Umm, I guess?

Jungkook: So?

You look at Jungkook, trying to figure out what he’s trying to say. But all he does is lay back on his seat and manspread, with a grin on his face. You feel like going crazy. He knows what he’s doing. Does he know he’s my bias? Could he? Maybe he reads minds. Oh, I hope not!!!

Y/N: What?

Jungkook: Do you have a boyfriend?

Y/N: Oh!! I don’t, no.

Mingyu: Why not? If that’s not too much to ask.

Hana: Oh, this is going to be good.

She knows your life story and your history with guys and relationships, so she knows you have a lot to say about this.

Y/N: You really want to know? I can give a formal short answer or a genuine longer answer. Which one is it?

Jungkook: Long answer.

The whole room is now looking at you, curious about what you have to say. People are always curious about this type of stuff. You are too, you have to admit. And not in the Oh, I like gossip type of way, but you like to hear about other people’s love stories and why they didn’t work out.

Y/N: I don’t trust men. I used to. Big mistake, because whenever I put my trust in one, I would get disappointed again. My last relationship was a disaster. I felt used, like he came into my life, promised the world, then after he got what he needed, he left. I invested so much time, energy, feelings into it and all I got was emptiness. I tried dating a few times after that, but everything felt so shallow. Nobody with real good intentions. Everyone felt so fake, so I stopped everything. Why waste my time on people that don’t care about me? No. And you know what? Unless some guy shows up, really doing everything to show me he’s a real person with real feelings and not some stupid cardboard box, then I might consider giving him a chance. I’m just happier alone.

Hana: Mingyu wouldn’t know about that, he’s got a new girl every other month.

Everyone starts to giggle and you’re surprised but not really, because he’s a really attractive guy. And he seems to have it all.

Mingyu: Wow, you say such nice things about me, Hana. You’re just the best.

You laugh, you find him funny and charismatic. No wonder he’s getting so many girls.

Jungkook: Guys, come on, leave my man alone. He’s not that slutty. He’s just overly friendly and excited so he can give the wrong impression.

Mingyu gives a proud smile, hearing his bestie taking his side. Finally, someone takes his side, he thinks.

Y/N: But what about you guys, how hard is it to have a romantic life in your situation?

Mingyu pouts, Jungkook tilts his head and looks like he’s thinking, Jaehyun shrugs.

Eunwoo: In my case, all I can say is that it’s really difficult. You put your career on the line, but when you meet someone you really like, you can’t just ignore the feelings. You can’t live just for your work, you’re not a machine.

Mingyu: It fucking sucks, I barely have time for a romantic life. Things are getting really intense at work lately and I need to be there for me and for my members.

You look at Jungkook, who’s taking a soju shot, waiting for him to give a response too. You really want to know, it burns you to know.

He realizes you are waiting for him to say something, so he tries to change the subject.

Jungkook: Let’s do shots before we end this night?

And the hands you a glass of shot, you drink it, looking at him. He’s avoiding your eyes for the rest of the night and it’s not long until you all need to leave. The restaurant is closing, it’s past midnight and tomorrow it’s a work day. Shit, you have so much work to do tomorrow and here you are, a little drunk., wondering why Jungkook didn’t answer your question and why he didn’t look at you the rest of the time.

You all give your goodbyes and the guys are telling you how glad they are to have met you and that they will see you next time. You feel Jungkook’s eyes burning into your skull, and when you turn to him you catch him starring so you give him a little smile with a “goodnight”. He bows and smiles then turns and walks with Mingyu to the direction where a car is waiting for them.

You felt sadness. Sadness because this night was over, because you thought that you were weird and they didn’t like you. Shit, you met your bias of biases and you’re glad you didn’t shit yourself when he looked in your direction. You felt a little proud of yourself for not acting like a crazy fan. You always thought that if you met any of your favorite artists, you would just be quiet and act normal, trying to not make them feel uncomfortable. That’s what everyone should do, right?

You’re also trying really hard not to be too delulu right now, after meeting him. You can’t wait to tell your bestie about it, too bad she’s sleeping at this hour, must be really early in the morning there. Oh well, I’ll just take a shower and go to sleep. Who knows, maybe the universe is starting to like me and I will see him again.

Next morning you wake up all sweaty and worked up. You had a sex dream about Jungkook. Damn, it felt so real, wtf. Stupid brain, let me function today! You arrive at the office and you find Hana waiting at your desk, two cups of hot cocoa. She known you hate coffee, and what else could you drink on a cold march morning?

Hana: I figured you’ll be a little hungover, we had a lot to drink. Well, me. You were lightweight.

Y/N: Ugh, you’re a life saver. Thanks for the cocoa, I love it.

Hana: So what did you think?

Y/N: About last night?

Hana: Duh! Did you feel weird or it was fun? Want me to get a signed photocard from JK?

Y/N: Nooo, I would feel so embarrassed. But I really enjoyed it. They seem like normal people, though Jungkook is a little reserved. So mysterious, no?

Hana: Hm, maybe because you were there. He was a little more quiet last night though, but so were you. I could see you two being a couple.

Y/N: Omg, stop! I’m not that delulu, girl.

Hana: You never know.

[katyspersonal]

Personal stuff from work

I think I am going to leave this job and seek another one. I don't know how I am going to pull this off with my absurd medical expenses recently, but this is just impossible to work here anymore!!! I actually should be at work right now, but I went back home crying, just. straight up left

Remember that story about an ex worker who constantly got at work drunk and snapped at everyone for smallest reason? Where one time he came at work so full of vodka the smell was all over the office, got super angry at smallest things and screamed at the boss and her vice that he would "smash her face with the keyboard if she doesn't shut up" before other workers and customers? And everyone was either scared or passive, but I straight up told him that he should just go home and sleep instead of getting in THIS state at work and causing god knows what? That resulted in the day worth of him distracting me from working bullying me like 'lmao are you feminist or something?!', 'have you believed in yourself or something?!' etc etc, that progressed in a STUPID verbal fight where he kept saying dumb shit, I was objecting, he was yelling at me to shut up, I objected that if he wanted me to shut up he should not have prompted the discussion with dumb shit to begin with etc etc etc.. That then ended in physical fight too, while all coworkers who were much more capable and strong than me just hid like rats and let me fight him alone 🤦‍♂️

Or another story, kinda recent, where another coworker smashed my head against the deck from a likewise long verbal argument that started from her genuinely giving customers and us troubles by refusing to do her job right and me pointing it out? There were a lot of threats prior, like throwing a can in my face if I don't shut up, when she genuinely was wrong and refused to take request from the boss over stupid petulant reasons? (by the way later after that situation turned out that she also did fight with THE boss physically before, and with one of the regular customers that sued her later)

It is more like 'three times is a charm' situation because today something very similar happened, and with a DIFFERENT person again. She has been working here for a while, and also had problems with alcohol and such, but after previous boss left the job and new one arrived she befriended her a lot. That resulted in them constantly dumping all work on me while they CONSTANTLY leave to smoke, drink at the work place (!) or bring their stupid equally alcoholic friends at the office (!!!) 🤦‍♂️ However, today was ANOTHER time where she was STUPID late at work all because she got drunk shitless yesterday (also at work while I was left with customers alone).. I addressed that, and... yeah, you guessed it, more insults, yelling, threats of physical violence etc followed. This time we surprisingly did not end up in a fight, I kinda just ran away..

Like, this workplace feels like abusive relationship I know, I just bothered to carry on because it is stupid hard to find a job in my city.. But I swear they hire any sort of deranged, violent, stupid people without even a minimal check fdhfdhs These are just the three I've had open fight with! And in each and every situation it is basically 'a person who is like 50, the third one is 60 wants to beat up a frail young girl for pointing out something that was GENUINELY wrong while other coworkers are either passive or claim that the girl is insane and inadequate in this situation' 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ I am dead serious, the third parties always act like /I/ am the bad person here for pRoVoKiNg (if this is what you call seeing a bad thing and saying it is bad). And also for "arguing"??? Bitch you say the dumb shit that makes no sense and expect me to stay silent or how that Tweet went

I just really can't work with these idiots anymore. Though to think of it, it isn't just here.. to look back on it, all my enemies happen specifically because I point out something genuinely wrong about them and they can't take the L. When I am not like, holding them at the gunpoint or posing any threat to them (looking at YOU, online cancel-culture mobs who might THINK you can relate!!!). Heck, my worst online drama happened all because someone in the fandom straight up bullied another fan and I jumped in to obliterate them with facts and logic for that behaviour, and not the "noble fight" reasoning they ended up making up to justify harassing me. It is not like I am some noble fighter for justice ffs!!! I am just a kicked stray dog that barks at the things it doesn't like, I won't and CAN'T make any change in this world. But it is always enough to end like this. I just can't play by this world's rules at all if you are supposed to "just ignore" people who are so deranged. By this logic I could also keep everyone in fear with threats and inadequate reaction to objective, non-threatening, justified criticism, but I am not doing this!!

At the same time, hating petty bitches that will either openly get hostile like my coworkers, or plot revenge like Alfred-chan or A, over the justified "attack" on them made me overcorrect myself to the point I tolerate shit like this more than I should. Like you know how unwillingless to become the very thing you hate might put you on the opposite extreme? Because it should not have happened three times for me to be done!!! (especially since none of these idiots got fired for their behaviour) Not to mention less extreme conflicts and these idiots doing god knows what at the WORKPLACE 🤦‍♂️

[soraviie]

their flaws.txt

━ type: bts x gn! reader ━  masterlist

━ about: angst! ━ pictures taken from Pinterest

━ a/n: requested by anon! These are as accurate as any vibe check I give to strangers, I'm fairly sure I can do more realistic tea leaf readings! So put your pitchforks down!

━ previously posted on soraviii

NAMJOON:

absolutely passive aggressive

sometimes when stressed (which is not that unoften)

sometimes when jealous

but definitely dampens your spirits by giving a very dry, sarcastic "awesome" to some harmless questions

if you have ever seen a single American interview you know exactly what I'm talking about

If he's jealous of someone who he knows he shouldn't also does this

Especially if you're talking about them

Say like a coworker or a neighbour who was helpful or funny

He goes like "well aren't they just the greatest person ever! I'll gift you a mini fridge at your wedding."

Then stomps away

I feel like he's a stomper

Always comes back, gently knocking on the door and apologising for his behaviour

And he is ashamed of it because dumping all the bottled-up anger is not something any partner should do but occasionally it does happen

People are not perfect

Also tends to, how to explain, be too decisive about your decisions

Say you consult him on what to do

And he has decided on option A because that's what he would do he doesn't listen to option B

Even if it's the one you're more partial to

Which is fine

But then he goes and does the thing of "well if you want to fail completely and face the consequences of the wrong decision, please go ahead"

He has a bit of a problem with micromanaging given the line of work, being a leader and undercurrent of care

He wants you to succeed but it just comes off as such a high horse it makes you want to choke him

Speaking of jealousy has his episodes

You'd think he has nothing to be insecure about but he has a lot of them

Sometimes he thinks he doesn't look right

You know how he at times mentions not being the best looker

Which is...Mr Kim, check your prescription, please

But most of all gets insecure about the way his career impacts you and your relationship

There are other people who can give you all this love and share it freely

So he works himself into a tight little ball of stomach ulcer and then as a defence becomes passive aggressive

It's a bit of a cursed cycle

Rolls! His! Eyes! With! A! Deep! Sigh!

Especially when you're arguing

Which for me is an open-arm invitation to tear someone a second, a third or whatever number hole, it'll be new for sure but hey I've got anger issues

Fairly emotional in the moment, he can get loud and assertive

Cause I think he's used to partially bulldozing his way through

Luckily though someone so keen on self-improvement will genuinely try to fix these flaws, listen to your arguments and objections

But once again no one is perfect

YOONGI:

Because I'm a Yoongi stan I might be biased

I am biased

But I think he hides his flaws well by pulling back

Like if he wants to snap he knows he can ruin a good thing in his life so he bites his tongue

With that out of the way

He is reserved

He does spend a lot of time on work

He doesn't know how to relax

He will lug his equipment everywhere and anywhere

Even if you beg him to relax for just three days, he just can't

Sometimes relies on drinking too much to get him through the week

He has a knack to prove someone wrong

It's a knee-jerk reaction mostly

Say, your friend that he does not particularly like would say something incorrect, he'll pipe up from his corner in an extremely arid tone

"Hmm, funny you should say that, because blah blah. Guess ignorance is not that hard of a burden to bear."

Sometimes he expects you to read his mind

Let's say he's saying with his mouth "I want to stay home" but he actually wants someone to drag him outside but also he wants to complain about it the whole time

But because people can't read minds you leave him be

And then he's left to sulk

You're going to have a hard time if you're a person who enjoys going outside, actively being involved in things

Because even if he does it, he does it simply because of you, not because he wants to

And it's just so apparent that he does not want to be here that in the end it just ruins the whole thing

Speaking of, he sometimes goes along with things he doesn't want to just because acts of service is his love language but sometimes it's better to just state it outright that he doesn't want to instead of lying

Doesn't want surprises that interfere with his schedule and work even if they're well-meaning

Clearly wants to say "I told you so" on some occasions and be smug about

If only he could hide it better

Can diss you, your friends and your family with a throwaway remark that he didn't think much about it just ends up cutting deeper than he ever thought

I think he can be careless? in a way when you're sick

For example, if you're feeling bad and you just want to whine and be catered to he could just call you and say take your pills and that's it

Doesn't exactly coddle you in a situation like this because that's what he would do himself

But he's not a bad listener so there's a fine chance that over time he'll be at a middle ground with these issues

JIN:

Doesn't always understand when he needs to be serious

Sometimes he needs to be sad, sombre and depressed for the occasion

But he has a hard time breaking out of that jokester role

So it can come off as ingenuine and shallow

Occasionally you want someone to just ask, give a serious question to which you could seriously answer, to get all those feeling out and not just make endless jokes which give no opportunity for deeper discussion

Talks about himself a tad too much

I could see how someone could get tired of it, even if it's self-depreciative

If you're mentioning how you don't feel pretty, he could misconstrue it as just the occasional thought everyone has not something he needs to assure you about

"Don't worry," he might say with a light chuckle but the gap in your chest is on the opposite quite heavy. "I'll be handsome enough for two."

"Yeah, you're perfect," you scowl and walk away, hands in pockets

I think he can sometimes unintentionally create this disappointing pang in your heart

That you're not heard enough

That he doesn't want to engage in a deep, philosophical discussion

Because that is not something he's partial to

This could mean you turn to other people to talk about your problems

And he becomes huffy

"What? Am I not...good enough?" he asks, defensive

"Not in this case."

And it creates this stifling situation where no one is at fault and yet is right in their own way

It's your right to want to converse about this

And it's his right to remain true to his nature

I don't think he knows how to change himself manually so to speak

Jin always strikes me as the guy who changes by naturally maturing and by experience not by putting out a list in his head "this is what we fix, this is what we do"

But also this jokester role is exactly that - a role

He's not as cheerful deep down but he's not used to sharing it openly

He's used to diffusing the tension, not creating it

HOSEOK:

I think a large portion would say that it is Yoongi who struggles with shyness and intimacy and communication but it is my humble opinion that the absolute hardest to get to know is Hoseok

He's very supportive of you but is almost dismissive to receive any compliments

It's like he's not able to comprehend how to accept his faults

Already so soon after releasing "Jack in the Box", he said he was already looking for setbacks and flaws

I think it can be discouraging to have your compliments and praises brushed by with a polite smile and nod of the head that clearly says "I don't believe anything you just said"

He's so overly critical over anything he does and is so obstinate about being even...cheered up about it?

I think at this point it's how he's wired - to reach for new heights by stepping down upon the old ones

But it can be depressing to see someone you love continually tear themselves down

Another absolute workaholic has every minute of every day planned down and scheduled and someone really grave needs to happen to break that schedule

Bad at intimacy

I've always said it but a relationship with Hoseok to me is the kind where you're with a friend first and foremost

He's better at handling friends than lovers

Struggles to communicate his side of things

He listens more than talks

Absolutely intentionally directs questions at you so you would talk about yourself (which is what he wants to hear) instead of talking about himself

He thinks of himself as your silent glue, keeping your shit together but not voicing any of his sentiments over it

Again, many would say Yoongi but I think it's Hoseok that's independent to a fault

Like a little helper rushes to do what he needs to but accepts no help

Brushes off with a smile that it's no worry, that he can do it himself

Getting to know him means hitting a giant fortress over and over again

So it's very frustrating but once every while he breaks and lets it all out

What matters is that it is during this you try to convince him as hard as you can that it's okay to share and not scheme everything out like a lone mastermind

JIMIN:

His best qualities are also his greatest flaws

Meaning he cares about everyone

And so gets caught up in other people's problems

More than once has come late at night because "a friend needed help"

Worries a lot about everything

If you're not in a good mental state or prone to sickness and negativity he at times makes it worse by constant nagging and frequent anxiety

Also his greatest quality - never leaving anyone behind

Hence why he has problems with giving space

He thinks he's abandoning you when in reality you just want to be alone with your thoughts

Has a bit of a temper

And does hold grudges if they have a reasonable basis

Say if in anger you say something hurtful about his personality

He'll remark sharply about it even weeks later

"Guess I'm just too clingy."

Another stomper

Takes things a bit too personally that are not even meant for him

If you don't share something from your past especially bad or traumatic he'll have this knee-jerk reaction of:

"So you don't trust me enough?'

Needs attention and praise which can be draining

Especially when you just give it and then he goes on to be extremely self-critical and brings himself down once more

Another roller of the eyes!

Gets stand-offish when jealous or irritated making sharp comments

This stems from him being sensitive because his good quality is how big his heart is only meaning that he gets it hurt a lot of times

Sometimes you think he's acting cute when he wants to be serious

Like he just wants you around to the point of reverting back to people-pleasing tendencies and playing along to your whims more than being his genuine self

Flirts with everyone which creates two bad scenarios:

Scenario A: did it on purpose thinking of it lightheartedly to have that validation that you want him but if you feel it to the point of being insecure he gets quiet, suffering from guilt

Scenario B: get annoyed especially if it's when he's working

"It's just how I have to act," cue roll of the eyes. "Do I blame you for making photocopies at work?"

"Suggesting to marry a stranger is not the same as making photocopies!"

"It's a part of my job, what's not to get?"

Same as Yoongi sometimes relies too much on drinking to get through the week, or start difficult conversations

I feel like he internalizes a lot and doesn't voice something that might start an argument even if it's needed

Of course, bottling it up only means the fight is so much catastrophic

Always comes back with this thought that "this is not right, let's fix this, okay"

TAEHYUNG:

Romanticizes relationship as a whole too much

Maybe even romanticizes you to an extent

But when reality gets to him, he shuts down

Gets disappointed in you which is not your fault

He realizes you're not at fault for not being the version he constructed but he can't chase the feeling away that quickly

Switches moods a lot and from 100 to 0 at that

Prone to getting into moods a lot of days

I think he feels intensely

Also prone to judgment

now HEAR ME OUT

He has to be on guard literally all the time, assess whether someone talks to him out of personal gain or because they want to

So even if something, something as minuscule as a stray glance tickles his gut feeling, he trusts it entirely and so sometimes casts a judgment upon a perfectly normal stranger

"Come on, man, they're just living their life."

He only scowls in return

His kidlike nature means he's bad at taking criticism, he's also sensitive to it due to getting a lot of hate for everything he does

So instead of simply listening to it objectively, he lets it get to his heart and pouts in silence

THE SILENCE!

Not to mention the infamous dumpling incident, but I just know he commits to silent treatment like no one else

Has a hard time admitting his wrongs as much as he wants for both of you to make peace

He's down to earth but does get caught up in glitz and glamour

Fancy events, designer things, celebrity lifestyle etc.

If you don't enjoy that or even have a hard time with that he can once again get upset about it by immediately taking it close to heart and translating it to you being dissatisfied with him despite it being another matter entirely

I guess in a way he's bad at controlling his emotions and goes with them and gut instinct than pure logic

Has a lot of friends with which he wants to spend a lot of time means sometimes he's out too long for your liking and sometimes cancels plans to be with them rather than you

Which is fine but he does feel unhappy if you do the same thing

If you cancel date night to go out with your friends he doesn't say it but he might think something along the line "I already have so little time to spend with you, you can always talk to your friends at any other time"

His "go with the flow" can induce anxiety if you're someone who likes to plan

The way he remains calm and happy would could cause someone a migraine fr

Like me

The way he got lost in Norway and he just hopped along the road like?? Boi, you're not Dorothy on Yellow Brick Road!

Sometimes his casual optimism seems careless and childish as good-natured as it is

JUNGKOOK:

First of all, certainly doesn't have the best gage on people

I'm not going to say much as I feel I can't express it in a well-worded manner

But cuts too much slack to people based on a general opinion that often is quite biased

Always assumes that what he's going to say will be viewed as awkward so he stays silent in most cases

Is a bit spoiled so throws a fuss when he doesn't get his way

Has lowkey, lowkey!, issue with control

Because he's so driven I feel he's used to settling on a certain vision and then doing it all to achieve it

So if you're someone who changes directions mid-way or realizes this is not interesting to me at all and abandons it, his vein bursts

He changes his behaviour around the people whose approval he wants so it makes him a sort of a social chameleon though not necessarily a people pleaser

Brushes off all concerns about his health with "I know better"

"I've been doing this a long time, I know what I'm doing"

When clearly this behaviour is detrimental to his health

And to add salt to the injury will absolutely flame you if you do that as well

If you're being a hazard to your own health - not eating, cutting sleep etc. goes berserk and literally scolds you as being childish and irresponsible even if he does exactly the same

His perfectionism creates churning anger and envy

Which I don't think he would dump upon you but instead he becomes reserved and distant, investing more and more time to prevent a flaw that is perceived only in his mind

He still sometimes finds being alone with you awkward because in his mind he's not embodying his on-stage persona - cocky, confident and sexually bold - and so you must be disappointed in him

In turn that only makes his awkwardness and shyness a hundred times worse because now he's insecure about it as well

Is not keen to go out or enjoy "high" culture the same as Yoongi but instead of going along, he'll whine incessantly about whether it's necessary for you to go because he knows he's not going and sticks to it

Jealous and possessive which doesn't translate to being angry or loud but more so whining and scowling

But sometimes even that is not appreciated especially if the person involved is clearly just a friend

He sometimes doesn't quite register when he's being mean or when his playfulness crosses a line

Sometimes naturally expects you to accommodate him more than you're willing because that's something the guys have done due to their endless soft spot for him

So if you stay firm he sulks and becomes moody

© soraviii/soraviie 2022-2023

[biggie-chcese]

rain code age headcanons because i have literally only ever been choosing ages based on what's funniest but now i wanna cast away my grand layers of irony and be genuine for a moment. also. this goes pretty in depth so be prepped for the long haul when you click read more lmao.

spoilers for the whole game below and it's because of one specific character iykyk

Yakou - this man has the soul of a guy in his late 40s going through what would be his midlife crisis if not for the fact that he's fully aware he passed the midpoint years ago. but that soul is trapped in the body of a guy who doesnt look a day older than 28. what moisturizer does he use? i doubt he even uses anything other than that 13 in 1 shampoo. anyway, i think he's 32.

Halara - 26. nothing really to justify this other than they've got that mid 20s swag but 25 didn't feel right. adult enough to be as competent as they are yet young enough to look like that. moving on.

Desuhiko - 19. i think he's the youngest of the NDA because. well. idk man have you read his dialogue? he's got a whole lot of growing to do and is still very lost on his direction in life. he's giving 'bitch fresh outta high school (or in this case, detective training) and relishing in his freshly obtained freedom."

Vivia - 28? yeah i got nothing for this i am going purely on vibes here. 28 just feels right.

Fubuki - 23. she's clearly still a bit young but is also clearly a grown ass adult who wasn't raised right so i think this makes for a happy medium, especially if she's already been on some worldwide adventures n shit before the game. works out quite swimmingly methinks.

Kurumi - 18. for my personal comfort bc we'll get to yuma later but im not gonna sit here and ignore the way the game constantly grovels at the audience's feet to ship them so id rather she not be any younger than this. anyway, more about her: she tends to hold her own as an informant with more competence, maturity, and effecience than most of the NDA. but she also has a pretty childish black and white view on things, like believing her beloved detectives are always right (girl if you were real you would be ENTRENCHED in stan culture oml do NOT get into minecraft youtubers) but i've... seen 18 year olds on the internet that are exactly the same so whatever

Aetheria girls - putting them all at 17-18 because, based on honorifics, they are treated as upperclassmen by their peers in the Japanese dub. i think waruna is the youngest and kurane is the eldest.

Yomi - 25. he has that vibe. old enough to be taken seriously as an adult but young enough to act like That™. yknow?

Martina - 32. she's giving older woman sexy librarian vibes and generally carries herself with a certain level of poise and maturity but is also a freak in a way that can best be explained by being a woman in her 30s. not elaborating on this

Swank - 41. to me he's like those awful surly businessmen who go to cabaret clubs to drink and smoke their office job woes away and cheat on their wives. but he also has extreme mafia boss swag about it so i kinda love him for that. dunno what this has to do with age tho. moving on.

Seth - 22 because he's giving youngest brother. i think he's the youngest of the peacekeepers in general. guillaume definitely bullies him about this.

Dominic - 34. bro is built like a jojo character what else do you want me to say. he's still got that youthfulness about him that makes me think he's still not going through his midlife crisis, so i wouldn't place him any older

Guillaume - 23. guillaume is so girlypop manic pixie dream girl core that she's definitely got the energy of someone who is young but also strikes the balance of being someone who has a job and a mortgage. dunno how she does it. id like to think she isnt even much older than seth but still bullies him for being the baby of the peacekeepers. do u understand my vision. please. they have so much annoying coworker potential.

shinigami - idk like 1000. she's a death god who cares.

yuma - okay. yeah. look i dont give a singular fuck about age discourse- headcanon whatever you want- but from looking at canon material i genuinely think that he could not possibly be any younger than 21. 20 if we wanna push it. yes, i know he looks young. i have eyes. but also, im in my 20s and the most common thing people tell me when i reveal my age is "oh, i thought you were 15." one time a person asked me if i was 12. at my job. that i was actively working at. i was 20. adults can look young, and contrary to the classic 1000 year old loli dragon trope he doesnt act overtly childish. he acts like a normal fuckin guy. yes he cries but like. you wouldn't in his position? bro speedruns lifelong trauma so skillfully that he's backwards long jumping into alternate universes where everything is somehow worse. i'd be freaked out if he didn't cry. also im aware that the child prodigy detective trope is a thing and that kodaka has written that before but... he was number one three years ago. and the training takes two years. which means, if he is a minor in the game's present day, he started working at the WDO at 12 and became number one at 14... at the oldest. have you ever met a 14 year old? forgive me for not suspending my disbelief here. and really the kicker for me is that yuma has a line where he says he's not sure if he's drinking age (which would be 20 in japan), but you know who would be sure? you know who knows yuma's age better than yuma?

makoto kagutsuchi - this megacorporation CEO has a fully stocked minibar installed in his penthouse. <- sentence i cannot bring myself to believe if it's about a child. since i also cant picture him becoming CEO at age 14 without yomi at least once angrily pointing that out (he only ever mentions that makoto is an outsider, or has his head in the clouds), id like to think both him and yuma, at their youngest, earned their top spots at their respective organizations at 18. it keeps their gifted kid syndrome and young prodigy-ness without making things comically ridiculous or uncomfortable for the sheer amount of sexual situations yuma gets put into.

anyway that's my silly little ramble on age headcanons. this was actually really fun to think about. shoutout to kodaka for leaving out the ages. funniest choice he could've made

[elysiuminfra]

more morning thoughts. i also did not expect to make as many friends as i have over the past year living in michigan. i have my inner circle of my former coworkers and best friends who i see weekly, and a looser web of friends and acquaintances and friends-of-friends that i see less often. i think this is because 1. most of the people i have become fast friends with are also neurodivergent and operate on a similar wavelength and 2. i just walk up to people and start talking. i am, as my friends describe, a "social butterfly," which is shocking because i used to be a complete and total hermit. zero offline friends, and it was hard to keep ones i met. i owe coming out of my shell to my time in dinner theatre, where my circle of friends there got me out of the house and into the world. traveling on my own too helped so much. when i got to visit a dear friend in california, it was my first time traveling by plane, and it instilled a lot of confidence (despite some hiccups at the atlanta airport in which i missed my flight because i had somehow accidentally made my way out of the security area. a kind stranger saw me upset and helped me find a staff member, who then reassured me that everything was going to be okay and passed me onto a flight attendant, who then helped me get onto the next plane. a beautiful chain of kind strangers.) but anyways, another story for another time. my grandma also says i never meet a stranger. the more i think about it the more true it feels. i go to the bar every once in a while, and every time i do, i end up talking to someone new. i compliment people's outfits, i offer a light or a cigarette to those who need it, i am always on the look out for anyone who's having a rough night and needs a kind word, and all of these invite conversation. i've made many acquaintances this way, people who remember my face and think of me fondly. people who i can rely on to keep an eye out for danger, who will watch my back on nights out. it feels very good to know that people genuinely consider me a pleasant person to be around. i didn't know what kind of person i would grow to become living independently, but i have come to find out people consider me kind and reliable. i was told my whole life i was a terrible person, manipulative and selfish and cruel, but i know now i am the total opposite. my parents just sucked the life out of me. many such cases. anyways, i have been reflecting a lot on the past year. i am very thankful for the person i have grown to become, and look forward to seeing what my future is like now that i have a future. i am also thankful for the many many friends who have supported me along the way. i wouldn't be where i am without the people in my life who have helped me get my life truly started.

[cooloddball]

Ok, so I would like to throw in my opinion on the "fell first/fell harder" Lestappen take.

Let me preface this by saying I'm very new to F1 racing and am learning quickly about the sport and the racers (and falling absolutely in love with all these adorable goobers too!)

I only looked into it because a coworker of mine is in love with Daniel lol. In searching Daniel I found a pic of Charles and was IMMEDIATELY like 👀👀 'Damn ok I see you, gorgeous, who are you??' And in searching him, I saw MANY pics of him and MAX.

In lengthy conclusion, MY hot take is this: Max fell first in a heavy moment of bi panic. Let's face it, Charles is the kinda guy that could definitely make "straight" men questions themselves for a hot minute. I can FULLY see, understand, and sympathize with the idea of Karting Day Max being genuinely confused about what exactly it is he's feeling for Charles because, no, absolutely NOT is he attracted to boys! (Read: his dad would probably get pretty pissed to hear/know his champion racing "straight" son has a huge boy crush on his rival of all people)

So it's treated like an early school crush where you're young and immature and kinda mean to them only because you don't want them to know you actually like them, y'know? Plus, he has to be a bit ruthless! This is his rival, for corn's sake!

Flash forward, Max goes to F1, his crush probably simmers/dies down now that he's got all new focus. In comes Charles to F1 bringing all those emotions and memories back to the surface. But Max is determined to stay focused this time. And in this time I believe is when Charles starts really dealing with HIS side of the crush because look at (his) Max now! All grown up and racing in F1 and giving him a serious run for his money and looking damn fine while doing it and Charles has trouble not letting it effect him.

Eventually time progresses, they grow and mature and come to realize they're both equally deserving to be where they are at and they're both amazing drivers and Max has now allowed himself to start letting go of the school yard crush tendencies and started really appreciating Charles for who and what he is. I think he's now allowing himself to just enjoy being with and around Charles. He's come to realize he LOVES the giggles and the dimples and the shimmer in the sea green eyes and, hey, Charles is a damn good driver so why shouldn't he be honest about that and tell the world?

I look at his body language and how he acts and speaks around Charles (and vice versa) and, for all the years they've known each other, they're still so bashful and giddy around each other. I've noticed that when Charles might be giving an interview, Max will just walk over and start talking, and Charles gives him his FULL attention despite the fact he was originally talking to someone else first. Maybe Max and Charles can't have each other romantically, so they take the best they can get.

I'm so sorry for such a long (and probably confusing) rant but I've really no one else to talk with about this and I'm OBSSESSED with their obsession with each other that I could go on for literal HOURS about these two lovesick knuckleheads 🥰🥰

no apologies needed i love you and this ask because long asks are the best. i also like the fact that you are of a different opinion because we can’t all see things the same way.

as for the who fell first vs who fell harder i get why you see it that way but from my side i feel charles fell first because that’s who he is, like it would take something very little to happen for him to get a him to like something/someone and he loses interest just as quickly. meanwhile max is the kind of person who takes his time to understand things/ people and it takes a while to like these things/people but once he’s in it’ll take a lot to get out/dislike something etc.

also, as i mentioned in an earlier post, it’s charles’ “hostility” towards max when they were younger that did it for me. like from the lore we have there’s nothing that max could’ve done that warranted charles disliking him so much. and no, charles got his revenge for the inchident. i think charles realised he had a crush and max was oblivious (at first) because all he was focused on at the time was racing (thanks to jos 😡) so he probably didn’t care to form many relationships/friendships with the other karters which probably made charles feel some type of way like max didn’t care enough to like him so he decided “if it’s only racing you care about i might as well give you something to remember me by” so he focused his energy on racing against him and just outright being a track terror. little did he know that’s what max needed to steer him to liking him (charles)but it was too late, max had a target on his back…and here we are.

if you ever want to talk about them, i’m here to listen and offer whatever take.