raneinspane02

[raneinspane02]

I really like winnie the pooh, Can you draw winnie the pooh pleaseeeeee

[raneinspane02]

I sure love workplace romance tropes a lot for someone who has never had a coworker I didn't at least briefly consider beating to death with a shov-- WAIT NO post canceled I just remembered my sweet old lady coworker in operations. Everyone else though? Dead to me

[raneinspane02]

[raneinspane02]

I was walking out of the Walmart today, and a car passed me, and I got this incredibly vivid impression. It wasn't really in words, but if I had to put it into words, the two key points would be

a). I needed to watch that car and

b). That I needed to be careful, because the driver of the car was a massive bitch.

It kind of took me by surprise, because I really had no reason to be beefing with that car, and I also hadn't really had an impression like that since I was religious, which was in my teen years. Right? It'd been a decade since I had a little voice whisper in my ear, and I'd basically written it off as nonsense.

Anyway, I watched the car, because The Spirits or whatever were very insistent that I did. Car drove fine, went into the parking spot, inched forward, and right when it should've just stopped, the driver gunned it for some reason and it ran into the curb and cracked its bumper.

So, the driver got out, and she went to the front of the car to check that yes, she had cracked her bumper, and then she turned to look at me. The parking lot wasn't empty, but we were the only two people standing in that row, and I'd probably been staring at her for tenish seconds now.

She demanded very angrily to know why I hadn't warned her of the curb. And I could have said I didn't know you were about to gun it or is it my job to help every stranger park, or even could you have even heard me, inside your car?

And all of those would have been fine, but I was really, really busy digesting that I had somehow communed with Mormon Jesus again for the first time in fifteen years, and that the communion had mostly been there to let me watch someone park badly (?), so what I responded with was:

"Because it was foretold."

And I can't tell which would be funnier, if she went silent because there's not much to be said to that, or if she went silent because in Utah, she might actually believe me, but we parted ways without more words.

I'm still kind of digesting this myself, actually.

[raneinspane02]

It’s with great pain that I must announce you were devoured by clowns.

[raneinspane02]

bro thay put transgender in me

[raneinspane02]

"mountains of potential" boy to "i cant do anything right" girl

[raneinspane02]

most unstable girl you know: i need to get a masters degree

[raneinspane02]

[raneinspane02]

If you ever feel bad just remeber there is a gif of me floating around tumblr of when I was 8 and I sat on the escalator and knocked down a table of jewelry at macys

[raneinspane02]

[raneinspane02]

this happened months ago. i cannot keep it in any longer. a while ago i went on a porn site ive never been to and it asked if i was over 18 and i misclicked and said no and it automatically sent me to google images of puppies and kittens. i still cannot get over how funny this is.

[raneinspane02]

[raneinspane02]

good meowning everykitty!! dogs.. go eat dirt or something

[raneinspane02]

Plague Ponies - At the Barn

CONTENT WARNING: blood, gore

Previous | Next

Summary:

Twilight has decided to check on Apple Bloom’s new project! The innovative young filly has combined her lessons from Twilight and Zecora to make something new: a potion of duplication.

While they discuss Apple Bloom’s ingenuity, they’re interrupted by a strange sound and the sudden appearance of Big Macintosh. Big Mac should be in bed, but it looks like he has something urgent to discuss in private with Twilight. How out of character….

Transcript below:

Twilight: I’ll come along for a quick peek.

Apple Bloom: You won’t regret it! It’ll be super amazing!~

Apple Bloom: You know that potion of fruitfulness you showed me last time? I thought it was awfully similar to something Zecora taught me, so…

Twilight Sparkle: …You’ve been experimenting with pony and zebra magic! This is so exciting, Apple Bloom! This could be brand new magic!

Twilight Sparkle and Apple Bloom enter the Apple family barn, where Apple Bloom presents Twilight with a jam jar full of a strange liquid sitting on a stool, along with an apple.

Apple Bloom: Ta-da! I call it the Super-Duper Duplication Potion! It’s a bit of a mouthful, so SDDP works too.

Twilight Sparkle, smiling: I think that initialism will definitely be helpful.

Twilight Sparkle: How does it work?

Apple Bloom: If you just sprinkle a little bit on…

Apple Bloom tips the jar until a single drop of potion lands on the apple, which then begins to glow with a bright light.

Apple Bloom: Oh please work please work please work please work please—

The Apple begins to smoke, becoming obscured in white. With a sizzle and a pop, the smoke clears to reveal the duplicated apples. Twilight turns to look at Apple Bloom with awe in her eyes.

Twilight Sparkle: Two perfectly identical apples….Apple Bloom…

Apple Bloom: What? What is it?—

Apple Bloom lets out an excited gasp.

Apple Bloom: Oh oh oh is it my cutie mark?

Twilight Sparkle: I’m sorry, sweetie.

Apple Bloom: If…if even creating new potions ain’t enough, what if I never—

Twilight Sparkle stops Apple Bloom, raising her chin with her wing.

Twilight Sparkle: Apple Bloom, even if your cutie mark isn’t in potions, you are an incredible scientist. I hope you’ll continue your studies. I certainly look forward to what you’ll develop next.

Apple Bloom: Thanks, Twilight. I really do like studying with you and Zecora even if it ain’t my special talent.

Apple Bloom: I’m just glad I haven’t disappointed you, Twilight.

Twilight: Of course not!—

A strange groan suddenly interrupts their conversation, startling Twilight and Apple Bloom. Twilight, particularly jumpy ever since the Changeling attack at the royal wedding, screams and instinctively readies an offensive spell. Apple Bloom screams because Twilight is screaming. Big Macintosh reveals himself, looking awful.

Apple Bloom: Big Mac! What happened? You should be in bed! Is everything alright?

Big Mac: Nope.

Big Mac: Apple Bloom, leave out the side door and head straight to the house.

Apple Bloom: Wha—

Big Mac: Straight. To. The. House.

Apple Bloom: …Alright…

Big Mac: Good. And Twilight, a word? P-please.

Twilight Sparkle: Of course. See you later, Apple Bloom!

Apple Bloom: See ya, Twilight!

Out of sight for Twilight and Apple Bloom, beyond the barn door lies the crumpled body of a strange pony. Their face is disfigured. The skin of the face is torn and bleeding, and their jaw is broken. Their tongue lolls out limp, broken teeth and saliva mixed blood. Big Mac’s hind legs are bloody, and he stands favoring one leg, which appears to be wounded.

End of transcript.