#it SEEMS fun from the playthroughs I’ve seen

[shadowcatp269]

The world is in shambles lol. Just like real life! So realistic!!!

[ains-disco-spam]

Thoughts on Lena

The first time I played through Disco Elysium, I talked to Lena right after Kim joined my party and immediately got the dialogue option where she says something racist.

Because of that, I was iffy on her from the beginning. But I’ve seen a lot of people say that they actually didn’t know about this dialogue or that they didn’t get it on their playthrough. Whenever I see this dialogue mentioned, there are always a lot of people saying how disappointed they are that she would say something like that because she seems like a nice old lady.

I think that this moment is actually one of the most important depictions of racism in the game. Besides this one instance, Lena is friendly toward you and Kim. If you call her out on the implication that Seolites are a different species than her and Harry, she basically says that being a different species isn't a bad thing because white people have earwax that smells and Seolites don't.

The whole interaction is such a small moment within the game, and a small part of her character. It’s so easy to miss. And that is exactly how racism works.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been talking to an older person who seems kind and then all of a sudden they say something extremely bigoted out of the blue. I actually got the idea to write this after the nice old lady who is a custodian at my job said something transphobic in front of me and it totally broke my heart.

It’s easy to condemn a cross-burning KKK member or a homophobic preacher who says that all LGBTQ+ people will burn in hell. It’s a lot harder for people to condemn bigotry when it comes from people that they otherwise see as kind.

But most bigots are not like Gary the Cryptofascist or Measurehead. Most of them are like Lena. They are the uncles who think that “if people just cooperated with the police then they wouldn’t be shot.” They are the classmates who make fun of the professor’s accent. They are docile old ladies who think that Seolites are not as human as white people are.

And that makes it harder for people to see the bigotry within themselves. People can easily tell themselves things like “I don’t want all trans people to die, so I’m not transphobic. I’m just worried for the children.” When the media only portrays bigotry in its most extreme forms, it is hard to see that being a little bit racist is still being racist.

And this is even more interesting because of her and Morrell’s friendship with Gary. He is a self-proclaimed fascist with an extensive collection of racist mugs, but Lena and Morrell still keep him around, presumably because they are willing to overlook his “differing political opinions” because they think that he is a good person in other ways. And because his fascist ideas do not affect people that look like them.

So yeah, I want to see more people talking about how fascinating Lena and Morrell are as depictions of racism in Disco Elysium.

[thedreamlessnights]

Hi! I’ve got a request for Astarion and Dark Urge Tav. Like they got together through act 1 and 2 and confessed their feelings for each other, but when they go to see Gortash become Arch Duke Tav realizes that she used to be lovers with Gortash before her memory was wiped. Queue angst and hurt/comfort and fluff and hhhhh Gortash loses plssss

I absolutely loved this concept and had so much fun writing it! Dark Urge's route changed me as a person, and I honestly feel like it's a perfect match for Astarion. Thank you so much for sending this in, and I hope you enjoy!

Aching (Astarion x F!Reader - Dark Urge)

Warnings: Major spoilers for Act III of Baldur's Gate - particularly for the Dark Urge playthrough. Mentions of blood, killing, death, and suicidal ideation. Dark Urge being Dark Urge. Hurt/comfort, self-loathing, angst with a happy ending.

Word Count: 4.6k

Like so many other things, the sight of Lord Enver Gortash tugs at a painful spot in your skull. 

You’ve come to differentiate them: the gaping, aching tug of your lost memories and the sharp, swift yank of the tadpole. Somehow, his presence pulls at both of them in equal measure. There’s something on the edge of your tongue, but it won’t be said. A memory behind your eyes, but it won’t be seen. 

One thing is clear enough - you know this man. For better or worse, the two of you have met before.

Karlach clears her throat behind you, and you return to yourself: not lost in the dark void of your memories, not consumed by the itch for blood. Wyrm’s Crossing. 

Gods, you’d nearly forgotten. You’re in the middle of a throne room, surrounded by dozens of people, here for the coronation. Wyll’s father stands in the center of the room, all but a meat puppet under the Absolute’s control. 

The Absolute, which Gortash is a part of.

The soon-to-be Archduke sees you, and something shifts in his gaze. His expression softens. Given all the trouble you’ve been causing for him, that expression comes as a shock - but what he says next is jarring to your core.

“Dearest patriars, but a moment,” he requests. “I must greet a most important guest.” He strolls toward you, arms spread wide as he steps forward, and smiles. “Crawling back from her bloody disgrace - it’s my favorite assassin! Gods, you’re a sight for sore eyes.”

And suddenly, you are two pieces of a whole. One longs to step forward, knowing him, wanting him. The other longs for nothing more than to jolt away from him - from the misery you know he’s been causing. Not only to you, or even Karlach, but to your home; Baldur’s Gate.

“Hang on,” Karlach says. “What? You know each other?”

As if you could have possibly known that. As if you’d been willfully keeping it from her. As if your amnesia is a silent betrayal.

“We have important matters to address,” Gortash says dismissively. “My reunion with Karlach can wait.”

Gods, it’s all too much. You’re trying to think, but your mind is swimming in front of your eyes. Your skull throbs. Your heart thuds unevenly in your chest. Something in you is fundamentally disrupted. 

“Don’t talk to me,” you manage to spit out. “Talk to her.”

After all, she deserves it. Ten years in Avernus, a flaming engine in her chest, a slow, painful oncoming death that none of you can prevent - or at least, not while she’s refusing to go back to the hells. She deserves a talk with the man who betrayed her. More than anything.

But Gortash won’t be swayed so easily, it seems. “No offense to my old friend,” he says, not even bothering to look at Karlach, “but it’s you I have been dying to see. After all, you abandoned us some time ago, leaving a rather uncomfortable hole in our plans.”

Fond. His expression is unmistakably fond. 

You don’t know what plans he’s talking about, though. What to say to him? Should you treat him like a friend, exploit his familiarity down to the hilt for the sake of the information you might obtain? Should you be honest and find out more of your lost self? Do you even want to?

As it turns out, it doesn’t matter what you’re planning to say. Gortash sees your face, and that’s enough. “Oh, I’d forgotten,” he remarks, “your memories are quite lost, aren’t they? Orin told me she’d made a fool of you.”

Orin. A picture flashes in front of your mind. Warm blood, oozing from a gash in your head, streaming down into your eyes. A sharp, fierce tug of betrayal that digs into your chest, sours in your mouth like milk. 

Then, another image. A recent memory: Orin. A gruesome suit of skin. A bloodthirsty tongue. The Netherstone in hand.

But Gortash is still talking.

“To think you and Karlach traveled together all this time, and she hadn’t the faintest you were one of my nearest and dearest,” he’s saying.

Karlach tenses, and you suddenly feel sick. Your hands go slick with sweat, and you can feel, not see but feel, the others silently fuming behind you. 

All of this is adding up to one big, horrific picture. A conclusion you despise but can’t deny. Something affectionate in your chest. The admiration in his gaze. The way he’d greeted you. Nearest and dearest. 

Lovers. You and Gortash were lovers. 

The walk back to camp is the most painful of your life - that you can recall, at least. You’d rather be feral again, tied up like an animal on your bedroll, attempting to bite Astarion. 

Part of you wishes you’d decimated Gortash the moment you’d laid eyes on him. If you had, all of this could have been avoided. The swirling guilt in your stomach for something you don’t even remember. The sting of reproof from nearly every single one of your companions. The betrayal in their eyes.

You’d done this. All of it. The Absolute, the march on the city, the tadpole now squirming around in your brain. You and Gortash had planned this out, and now you’ve fallen victim to it. 

It seems like a disconnected idea, a person you can’t imagine being. The further you go on, the less you recognize your old self. The more you despise it.

Gale had certainly chewed you out. Karlach isn’t talking to you. Gods, even Shadowheart is angry. Shadowheart, who should know more than anyone else what this is like. 

Astarion, at least, doesn’t seem as upset as the others. He’s liked his tadpole for the most part. Is some odd part of him grateful for your role in this? For the power it’s given him? You can’t tell. 

You should be able to tell, shouldn’t you?

When the silence becomes unbearable, you grab a bottle of Berduskan Dark as a peace offering and join him at his tent, crawling through the entrance and sprawling yourself over his various pillows. “Do you hate me tonight, too?” you ask lightly.

He raises a brow and rolls one of his shoulders, feigning annoyance. “Oh, I don’t know,” he says, his tone teasing and casual. “It’s not often I find out the woman I’m with is behind a horrible, malicious scheme to control an elder brain.”

Your words of penance fall flat even before they’ve touched your tongue, so you pour him a glass of wine in response. 

He smiles. “Trying to win me over, darling?” he asks, tilting his head. “You’ve caused quite the commotion around camp, you know. Gale is positively furious.”

That sensation of guilt comes again, but this time, it’s overpowering. It makes you want to crumple in on yourself, to erase the horrid, evil parts of you that are left like bloodstains on a white shirt; things that won’t be scrubbed away, present and never-escapable.

“I didn’t know,” you start, firmly but barely kept together. “I swear, I had no idea-”

“Relax, dearest,” Astarion says. “As you know, me and the tadpole are the best of friends. No need to explain.” He pauses. “Although,” he says, suddenly becoming very interested in inspecting the brim of his glass, “you and Gortash seemed to be old friends, too.”

You know what he’s asking you, and you don’t have it in yourself to lie to him. Instead, you slowly nod, pouring yourself a glass of the wine, too. Gods, do you need it. 

“We were lovers, I think,” you finally answer. “I can’t remember anything about it, but… the way he talked to me. It seemed like we were more than friends.”

He pulls a face. “Well. I certainly hope he won’t be serving as my competition. You can do so much better.”

You stare at him: the sudden tension in his shoulders, the pasted-on, confident smile that plays on his lips, the dark glint to his gaze. 

“You’re jealous.”

He scoffs. “Jealous?” he exclaims, laughing a little. “Of course I’m not jealous. Honestly - it’s hilarious. A Bhaalspawn and Bane’s chosen. In another life, I would have been rooting for the two of you.”

But there’s a crease between his brows, and he won’t quite look at you. You reach out for his hand, and his expression softens. He playfully rolls his eyes, but he takes your hand all the same. “And what is our vicious little mastermind thinking about?” he asks, leaning toward you.

“I’m thinking,” you say, “that Lord Gortash could never compare to you.”

“Oh?” he asks, moving in a little further. He loves preening for compliments, and you love treating him to them. “Do go on, dearest.”

You trail your thumb over his knuckles. “Well, he’s clearly nowhere near as handsome as you are.”

Astarion tilts his head. “Of course he isn’t. The man couldn’t hope to compare with a… world-endingly handsome vampire.” He squeezes your hand, lifting a brow. “Anything else?”

You can’t help smiling now. “His taste in clothing is awful. Didn’t you see his boots?” you ask. “Tacky.”

He scowls. “I did. Horrendous, honestly. And at his coronation, no less,” he remarks, tutting. “Well. I’m glad to see your standards have improved, darling.”

“As am I.” You take a sip of your wine, swirling it in your hand, enjoying the feel of Astarion’s grasp in the other. 

With him, you can almost forget the worst parts of yourself. The others, as much as you love them, only make your crimes seem so much worse. There’s a constant forgiveness sought with each conversation, a debt you can never repay that lingers underneath the way they see you. But not with him.

He mirrors you. He sees you. What you really are, not what you were, not the echo of your old life. All your past grievances, well… those don’t matter to him. Everything you’ve done, he considers himself worse. 

Part of you thinks - if the two of you actually make it through, that is - that bit by bit, you may actually heal. Maybe, you’ll actually have a life with him beyond the tadpoles, and beyond Baldur’s Gate. Maybe, the two of you will build something far beyond those who once controlled you.

And then the night comes.

You leave Astarion in his tent to trance, telling him you mean to sleep even though you have no intention of doing so. You never rest well, but it’s aggravated, lately. The Urge is always at its worst during the night. The shadows reflect your darkest self back at you, and your fingers itch for blood. Your mind becomes a haze of gore. Your teeth fix on a tender part of your cheek and press down until you taste iron. 

You’d like to say that this part of you is a clean split from the other - that it’s easy to tell where the Urge ends and you begin - but it’s not. Your thoughts so often drift. You’d been the one feeling that sickening sense of satiation when Alfira lay dead at your feet, her blood drying on your skin. And it’s you who feels a strange tug toward Gortash - some lingering yearning that won’t be scrubbed away. 

And you try. Gods, do you try. You take a rag and sit at the river and rub until your skin is raw, trying to get the metaphorical blood off your hands, trying to cleanse yourself of the want that pulls at your chest when Gortash slips into your thoughts.

But it doesn’t work. It doesn’t work at all.

The way you want Astarion feels different. It’s grounded. Natural. Being around him feels as easy as breathing. Gortash, though: there’s something so very strong there, something ripened with time and obsessive, almost. Something that wants him no matter what you tell yourself.

You want to win this. You want to look at the faces around camp and tell them that their faith in you is not misplaced; that you are capable of what they want you to be. You’re more than the monster in your thoughts. When you’d resisted killing Isobel and Astarion despite your butler’s commands, you’d thought there was a chance for that to happen - for you to become something outside of your murderous tendencies. 

Now, you’re not so sure. 

Your role in the creation of the Absolute has changed things. This feels… unforgivable. Not that Alfira’s death wasn’t already unforgivable, not that you haven’t already sinned enough, but… it’s tallying up to a truly heinous amount of perversion that you can’t fathom anyone here tolerating, much less accepting. Astarion, maybe, but he deserves better than this.

You’ve already tremendously ruined things, and on top of that, you find out you were responsible for turning all of the people you care about into thralls? 

It’s enough to shake you to your core. Enough to sow doubt in your mind, spreading like a slow poison through the veins of your thoughts, slowly choking them away, slowly consuming you.

You really might lose.

Gods, are you strong enough to win the long-fought battle against yourself? Do you have it in you to completely turn away from your past? You won’t give in without a fight, of course, but what chance do you have against Bhaal when he’s in your very mind, rooting himself into every inch of you? 

In the days, you have hope, but in the nights, when you’re alone, you feel certain you’re doomed. That perhaps, this side of you will take over, and you’ll be absolutely helpless to stop it.

The true question is this: when the darkness takes over, will you still exist; forever trapped in the body you once had control over? Or will Bhaal’s presence ravage you, body and soul, and leave nothing of the thing you once were?

You really can’t decide which is worse.

You’re used to your hands shaking, by now. Your fingers have often trembled around the hilt of your blade, itching to drive your knife deep into sweet, bleeding flesh.

This is different. 

It’s fear that takes your body, not the Urge. Fear that compels you, not Bhaal. Are you afraid to lose to Orin, or afraid of what you might become?

Astarion stands behind you, observant but tense. The two of you have come so far now that it almost seems foolish to think of losing. He’d defeated Cazador. He’d resisted the Ascension. If he’d found it in himself to turn away from his darkness, can’t you?

Yet, some part of you still thinks you might disappoint him. Some part of you still fears the monster that lies within yourself.

Astarion rests a hand on your shoulder, knowing you all too well. “You can do this,” he says, lightly squeezing. “I know you can.”

And the sheer, beautiful belief in his eyes - belief in you - is enough to have a little hope again. Not much, but some. You can do this. 

You step into the center of the circle, hands around your blade, and you believe.

It all goes by in a blur. 

Orin is a viper, tightening her strokes around you, striking fast and hard. Her movements are rapid and graceful, her dance lithe and experienced. Even in her slayer form, there’s a deadly beauty to her actions. Every slash, every wound she inflicts on your skin, is a vicious reminder that she’s nothing but practiced in this regard.

Perhaps she’s forgotten, but you are, too. And, this time, your pride doesn’t blind you to the threat she poses.

Your body moves instinctively; for once, you let the Urge guide you freely. You leap out of the way of her claws, dig your blade into her side. When the scent of blood hits the air, you rejoice. When you feel pain, you bask in it. 

Flashes of your past echo in front of your eyes - being in the pod, blood gushing into your eyes. You remember the agony of her betrayal, the fear as you’d smashed your skull into the glass again and again and again. Anything to escape what she’d done.

It’s despair that takes over you, not fear. It’s your fury that deals the final blow, not the Urge. And when Orin finally falls, your blade in her ribs up to the hilt, you feel no relief, no satiation. 

Only grief. Nothing but grief.

You don’t know what you mourn for - your old self? The life she’d robbed you of? No - no, you despise your past. You despise who you were. So what tugs at your chest this tenderly? What force brings you to your knees?

For just a moment, you almost forget about Bhaal.

Of course, he won’t be forgotten - not here, not in his own domain. Not when you’re his creation. Sceleritas Fel is in front of you, applauding your victory, calling you the Chosen One. 

“He is near,” he says. “He comes for you.”

Fear flutters through your chest. Bhaal’s Chosen. It tempts you, even now. The Urge has slithered into the very heart of you, kept somewhere in your ribs, so dark and alluring that you can barely breathe. 

It salivates at the sight of the blade slicing through your butler’s chest, sways at the sight of his blood. His body rises, limp and lifeless, and it’s all you can do to stare, still breathless from the fight, still silently devastated, as more blades cut through the skin one by one - impaling him until his blood seeps onto the stone below; dark, crimson liquid shining over the cold floor.

And in his reflection, you find Bhaal.

He is everything you’ve felt in the Urge and more - the sweet whispers of death in your ear. He’s the honeyed tone that compels you to serve him, compels you to bring forth destruction in his name. In chaos, he triumphs, and in blood, he revels.

This is a gift. An offering to you, his Chosen.

You could accept. You could stop fighting against your destiny, against this thing you were born to become. You could do what he asks, and wreak beautiful havoc on this world. You’re exhausted. Every muscle in your body aches - not from Orin, but from this never-ending fight against yourself. 

How strong you could become, remedied of these burdens. How well you would please your father. It would be so easy. All you’d have to do is accept…

And then you see Astarion. 

His face is paler than usual, a tension in his shoulders, a quiet exhaustion in his eyes. You see him now, as he is, and you see him as he was in the ritual chamber: the temptation of power right beneath his grasp, begging to be taken. He’d sacrificed so much. The light of the sun on his face. The relief of hunger. The burial of his shame. All of these, he’d refused, but he’s finally free. He wants that for you, and you want it, too.

No matter the cost.

So you refuse. You look Bhaal in the eye and refuse his gift, knowing what it will mean for you. And when he threatens your life, you refuse again. No matter the cost, you think. Death is freedom in its own way.

The sudden agony that wracks through your body is unlike any you’ve ever known. It boils through your blood, singes body and soul, brings down you to your knees with the very force of it. Your chest seems to cave in on itself, expelling your inheritance to Bhaal with every beat of your heart. 

Even when he lifts a hand and raises you into the air, you feel crushed - suffocated. Your teeth grind against each other, your skull throbs in agonzing waves, blood flows steadily over your tongue. Your heart slows, your essence fades. Sharp, blinding pain overtakes your vision until all that’s left of you is the shallow, scraping breath in your lungs.

All at once, everything fades, and you’re left in darkness.

And in the darkness, there is finally peace.

Being revived feels like a cruelty. Death is sweet and calm and simple. Emptiness. Oblivion. It is silent, and you are grateful.

Until you’re not. 

You’re not, because you’re no longer dead. Something rips you from your painless sense of stillness - throws you back into the misery of life. You fight against it, but it’s pointless; you have no say in this, and it will take you where it desires. 

You find yourself in flesh again, find the familiar sensation of your tender skin. You find yourself before Withers, bruised and broken, but reborn.

He’s a sight for sore eyes, but there’s something else that lies in your chest. A silence that hasn’t been there since… since before you’d woken up on the nautiloid, confused and alone, not a memory to be found aside from meaningless scraps and a face you didn’t recognize. 

The Urge is gone. All that’s left is you.

It feels empty.

This should feel heroic, this return of yours that leaves you panting with the throes of death, covered in blood and on your knees. You’re back, you’re alive, and gods, you’re glad to see your friends and your lover, but it’s empty. 

You deserved to die, didn’t you? It was your horrible knowledge, the one you kept tucked away even from Astarion. That never-ending guilt. After your crimes, after all the horrid things you’ve done with these hands, this body, before you’d lost your memory - you’d most certainly deserved to be put down. 

You don’t dare look at Astarion, but you look at Withers. Surely, he must know what you are. Surely, he must know what you’ve done.

“I deserve to die,” you tell him, your voice shaking as much as your body. “For all the evil I have done.”

Withers stares at you, his expression unchanged. “The sole way to atone for thine actions is to do better, in a new dawn,” he says - and gods, he smiles. He’s proud of you, you realize. Proud of your resistance. “That dawn has come,” he announces.

And if he will not be swayed, you suppose you won’t, either. You’re alive, whether you like it or not. Whatever pieces are left of you and the life you might live, you’ll put them together. You’ve done it before, and you’ll do it again.

The important thing is that you’re finally free.

“Bhaal tried to extinguish thee,” Wither observes, “but his wrath is imprecise. He only succeeded in killing the part of thee he knew. The Urge that drove thee to terrible acts. The spark of brutality that made thee his. But there is a new part of you that hath grown during thy travels. That part, Bhaal could not extinguish. And so, instead of destroying thee, he hath made thee anew.”

“You get to start over,” Astarion says. He gazes at you, a mixture of leftover fear and relief and care. “To be the person you want to be. Not what someone else made you to be.”

And gods - even in the worst of yourself, you know that he sees you - wants you, all the same. If you’re at his side, you’re sure you can do anything.

“Greet the bloodless dawn, child of none,” Withers says, and for once in the shabby remembrance of your life, the guilt that haunts you finally sweeps away.

Gortash knows you’re coming, you think. After your stint at the Iron Throne and the foundry that now lies in ash, he must. Your memories are mostly lost to the aether, but you do know this - he’s no fool.

Still, when you see him again, there’s that strange, leftover twinge of your past. It’s dead now; whatever warmth there was in his presence has become ice. Your old self has died along with your Urge, rotted away like your need for blood. After all, the part of you he cared for was maniacal. Brutal. Not as bad as Orin, perhaps, but deranged. It sickens you to know he cared for someone like that, when you’ve despised yourself so.

It sickens you even more to know that he knows no guilt for his actions. How much have you suffered over your own deeds? How often have you awoken in sweat, drenched from head to toe with the fleeting remnant of your past deeds tainting your mind?

And here he is, smug and so sure - of himself, of this path, of Bane. And he knows no regret, or guilt, he makes no apologies. A part of you may have once loved him, but no more. Whatever he’d once seen in you, it no longer remains.

You wonder if he can tell. After all you’ve done to him, after the havoc you’ve wreaked on his plan, does he realize that the person he cared for no longer exists? He seems not to. Not until Karlach launches at him and you draw your blade, willing to kill when it’s necessary but not craving an ounce of blood more.

The fight is long and brutal, but it’s familiar. You have your friends at your side, people you trust even more than yourself. It flies by in a blur, only ending when Karlach’s axe sinks into Gortash’s gut and he crumples to his knees, letting out a final rush of air before he goes still.

Like so many other events, this should feel triumphant, but it doesn’t. Like so many other things, this isn’t fair. Gortash is gone, yes, nothing more than a body on a floor, but there’s no celebration, no relief. 

Karlach has gotten her revenge, but she will never get her life back. She will never regain what he took from her. 

You have the Netherstones, yes. But gods - that doesn’t stop the sickening feeling deep inside.

You head home with nothing but grief and an aching body, your hand held tight in Astarion’s, and you finally allow yourself to fully mourn the life you’d lived - the things you’d done, and the people who no longer live because of you.

With Gortash finally gone, the air of the camp changes. You’re so close to your goal, but there’s an underlying tension that fills the air. It has you making your way to Astarion, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and nuzzling into his neck. 

He holds you close, his thumb trailing over the nape of your neck, and the action slackens the tension out of your muscles.

“So,” he starts, “how are you feeling, now that your old lover is gone?”

You huff, shaking your head. The action brushes your nose with his skin, and you can smell him all over you. The warmth of brandy, the sharpness of rosemary. “I don’t remember any of it,” you say, words soft. “I… don’t really feel anything.”

You recall his numbness after Cazador. Dame Aylin’s emptiness after smiting down Larroakan. Karlach’s grief after killing Gortash. Even after your fight with Orin, there hadn’t really been relief. Just… a sense of loss. 

He gently takes your face in his hands.

You’re scared, really. You’re so close to succeeding, so close to getting the tadpole out of your mind, and yet, you’re terrified out of your wits. What the hells are you supposed to do, now that failing holds the most weight?

“Do you really think we’ll win this?” you ask him. Your fear slips into your voice and breaks it, and you wince.

“Of course I do,” he says. “I don’t know about you, darling, but I have no intention of dying again.” He presses his lips to your forehead, the gentle touch soothing away your fear. “We’ll get through this. Trust me.”

And, despite the fear, the pain, the loss - despite every curve that life continually throws at you, every defeat you muster through, you know he’s right.

You’ll get through this; just like you always do.

[ironunderstands]

Double Indemnity, Spellbound and how a retroactive plot twist kicked the communities ass (which also has some VERY interesting implications for Aventio)

I had a very enlightening conversation on TikTok about the nature of these two romance/thrillers, and while unfortunately, I have no idea how to watch them, the plot synopses I’ve seen and analysis other people have made have caused me to come to this conclusion/interpretation of these references:

On the first viewing of the Double Indemnity questline, the reference to the DI movie is meant to be played straight, with Aventurine and Ratio being just as doomed to fail as they are in the movie, and their relationship as equally as toxic and fake.

On second viewing, it’s the complete opposite, and the track (and other movie reference) you receive at the end, Spellbound, proves it.

Let’s start with Double Indemnity.

Also disclaimer I’m gonna be over simplifying the plot/themes of these movies because a) both are singular references, DI is only referenced in the name of the quest itself and Spellbound is only referenced in a track you receive once you complete DI, and references this small probably aren’t meant to be anything more than a fun Easter egg for those who notice it b) this is hoyoverse they aren’t clever enough for that anyways c) the nature of references isn’t going to be having everything be the exact same anyways, so I’m just going to go with the overall interpretation of DI + Spellbound/their impact, picking the stuff which aligns with the actual plot of the DI quest, I don’t care what happens in one frame at 30:01.56 minutes in and neither do the writers

Anyways, how does the Double Indemnity reference on the first viewing seem?

On our first play through of the Double Indemnity quest, we are made to believe that Dr. Ratio and Aventurine do not trust each other, but they are begrudgingly working together for the sake of stealing Penacony for the IPC. Then, Aventurine makes it seem as if he wishes to use the singer Robin’s- also the sister of Sunday, the head of the Oak Family and the one they are negotiating with- death as a means to pressure Sunday into forking over some of the Family’s secrets, which Aventurine will then use against him in future negotiations.

With this setup, the Double Indemnity reference is a solemn warning- Aventurine and Ratio will fail.

You see, in the movie, Phyllis Dietrechson intends to kill her husband in order to earn the money from the Double Indemnity clause (which is a real legal thing btw!), roping in one Walter Neff when he falls for her. However, their relationship isn’t stable and in the end, Walter betrays Phyllis, ratting her out to the investigator Keyes, ultimately meaning they don’t earn the DI clause, also killing Phyllis in the process.

Hopefully you can already see where I’m going with this, but it’s time to draw some fun parallels.

Sunday is Keyes, Ratio is Walter, Aventurine is Phyliss and Robin is Phyliss’s husband.

Although Aventurine a) isn’t married to Robin and b) he didn’t actually kill her, he is the one who witnessed her “death” and in the first viewing of the Double Indemnity quest, we are made to believe he intends to profit off of it, although this time the payout isn’t money: it’s Penacony.

To do this, he enlists the help of Ratio- albeit not seducing him, but still convincing him to help nonetheless- and together they go to meet Sunday for negotiations.

However, Ratio “betrayed” Aventurine, ratting him out to Sunday behind his back and informing him of his plan, which mirrors how Walter confesses to Keyes. This results in Aventurine being sentenced to death, much like how Phyllis dies by Walter’s hand, Aventurine seems like he will die by Ratio’s, calling him a wretch before slinking off.

And there you go, their partnership is as doomed as the one in the movie, failing because their trust + love didn’t hold up till the end, a devious foreshadowing.

At least, that’s how it seems on the first playthrough.

Because Aventurine and Ratio’s plan SUCCEEDS.

And on the second viewing, knowing that the betrayal is fake, you realize they succeed because they do the one thing the people in DI (and I’ll get to Spellbound) DONT do- they actually TRUST each other.

Ratio and Aventurine’s plot is a success. And it’s because they deliberately made it seem like they were doing a Double Indemnity plot. Like they were going to make the same mistakes as the characters in the movie. Sunday falls for the false appearance hook, line and sinker, and that’s his downfall.

They win because they TRUST each other, you can even say because they actually LOVE each other, unlike the characters in the movie, where it’s more list than anything else. Walter and Phyllis don’t make it together to the end but Ratio and Aventurine DO, and they get to continue on with their lives because of it. The reference to Double Indemnity in this quest is genius because it works both before and after you learn the retroactive twist of Penacony. It makes you believe Aventurine + Ratio are doomed to fail, and it makes you realize they were always going to succeed, expertly dawning the false appearances Sunday expects from them, becoming literal actors playing out the roles of two people who will fall short due to their selfishness. Sunday believes he’s seen this film before which is why he BUYS IT, and god it’s just beautiful looking back on it. He thinks he’s Keyes about to uncover a dastardly plot to profit off his sisters death, and in turn he paints Ratio and Aventurine with the identities of those he believes would do such a thing, which they do their best to play into. Ugh it’s amazing.

And now, for Spellbound.

You receive this track after completing Double Indemnity, containing the description above.

Now, this is a reference to Spellbound, another one of Hitchcock’s films.

The main characters in this one are Dr. Anthony Edwards, a man suffering from amnesia, and Dr. Constance Peterson, a psychoanalyst who he was meant to replace, who discovers a dark secret about Edward’s while they fall for one another; he’s an imposter. He believes he killed the real Dr. Edward’s, but she thinks he’s just suffering from a guilt complex. Fake Edward’s goes missing, and the real Edward’s assistant arrived and informs them that he’s missing. She finds Fake Edward again, living under the pseudonym John Brown, and although he tries to leave, she convinces him to stay, telling him that with the help of her mentor, psychoanalysis can help recover his lost memories.

Through an incredibly complicated psychoanalysis of dream, Constance begins to uncover the truth- learning the person who believes himself to be Dr. Edward’s (and is using the pseudonym John Brown) is actually a man named John Ballantyne. Ballantyne accidentally caused the death of his younger brother in the past, resulting in his deep guilt, as well as recalling the location where the real Edwards died- skiing off a cliff to his death. With his memories, they find the body, but it has a bullet wound, so Ballantyne is taken into custody.

However, her boss, Dr. Murchison lets it slip that he actually used to know (and didn’t like) Dr. Edwards, and through another complicated sequence gets him to confess his guilt and ultimately kill himself, which frees Ballantyne, ending the movie with the two going on a honeymoon.

So, what does this mean in the context of the quest line?

Well, let’s say Ballantyne and Constance are representative of Ratio and Aventurine respectively.

“Every psychoanalyst must first have someone else diagnose them.”

If we read Aventurine as the psychoanalyst (Constance) and Ratio as the diagnoser/doctor (Ballantyne), it reveals an interesting interpretation.

That being that they knew the truth from the start/ they had already succeeded.

Or in other words, unlike in Double Indemnity, in Spellbound, they actually succeed.

In the film, Constance is the one doing the diagnosing, the one trying to figure out the truth, and you can see that in Aventurine pretending he’s trying to find out the truth behind Robin’s death. However, in the DI quest, it’s the opposite. Ratio’s as Ballantyne is the one doing the diagnosing for the psychoanalysist, Constance, or rather, Aventurine.

To diagnose someone, you must be very familiar with them, or at the very least the ailment plaguing them, and Ratio he knows Aventurine through and through at the start, and what plagues him (his own sense of meaninglessness) unlike the protagonists in Spellbound who despite falling for one another quickly, don’t begin being intimately familiar with one another.

In this way, they have already succeeded. Aventurine and Ratio already know one another, and while they might not know the reason behind Robin’s death, that was never what they were searching for in the beginning, meaning they effectively can skip through all the drama (aka the ups and downs of Spellbound, finding out the truth behind Robin’s/Edwards’ death), and reach their happy ending- a honeymoon; or in DI’s case, Aventurine attaining his cornerstone, and fulfilling his end of the plan.

Interestingly, Aventurine slots into the role of Ballantyne and Ratio as Constance equally well, with the phone call Constance makes to save Ballantyne being reminiscent of the note Ratio makes to save Aventurine, as well as Aventurine being the replacement, or in the sense, the one to find the truth about Robin.

Personally, I think Aventurine and Ratio are reminiscent of both the main leads in Spellbound, which is why it’s complicated to discern the meaning of the reference. Oh how I wish I knew what the original Chinese description for this was (if you do please tell me 🙏).

Is it just meant to signify them being in love? Is it meant to signify that they will succeed, due to how well they know each other? Is it both, which is what the inclusion of Double Indemnity (the movie) suggests?

Either way, it adds onto the already present idea that the trust between Aventurine and Ratio is what allowed them to succeed in Penacony, and that’s not just something expressed by these movie references.

Think Aventurines Eidolons: Stag Hunt Game and Prisoner’s Dilemma, both of which are game theories about trust. Or how Aventurine says that Ratio knows him best, or how Ratio entrusts Aventurine with close secrets of his, like him being the “Genius” of the council of Mundanites.

“Do you trust me?” “That depends on you.”

These are 2 lines in their 2.0 conversation that really stick out to me. Ratio will always offer his trust so long as Aventurine can prove himself worthy of it, and as we have seen, Aventurine always delivers, proving himself long before Penacony in the Final Victor lightcone, albeit in his weird homoerotic way.

Therefore Ratio will always trust him.

And because of that, they win.

Now whether you take the deep trust between them to be romantic or platonic, or infer the literal honeymoon at the end of Spellbound to mean something for Aventio, either way the feeling absolutely there, and it’s crucial for an understanding of their relationship.

Also damn, the retroactive plot twist fucking slaps.

[riddle-me-ri]

oh oh! how do you think btas riddler would react to his s/o successfully completing The Riddle of the Minotaur?

A/N: Aww omg this idea is so cute! He would be estatic he would be thrilled and so proud!! Aww I always enjoy writing for my wee husbando this is so cute! Also sorry I sorta…went a wee bit off track lol and I..kinda borrowed a similar twist I’ve done before…I hope you don’t mind…it was just really hard to resist the opportunity was RIGHT THERE lmao

Word Count: 1k

BTAS Riddler x Reader - Full Playthrough

“Edward, what’s this?”

“Oh, you’ll see.” Ed smiled. 

You sat up straight in a plush office chair, staring at a large computer monitor. An 8-bit epic score played through the speakers and a pixelated title on the screen in green text: 

“The Riddle of the Minotaur”

Below the title was blinking green text stating; 

“Press Enter to Start.”

When you finally read the title, you smiled up at Edward. 

“It’s your game! I-I didn’t think you had a copy still…after what happened.”

Edward sighed, nodding. “Despite…the outcome of my game being stolen right from under me…I’m still very proud of it.” 

“You should be!” You exclaimed. 

Edward leaned in and gently nestled his chin into your left shoulder. 

He whispered warmly into your ear. “But now, it would mean the world to me if…you played it in it’s entirety.”

You gasped. You always enjoyed playing Eddie’s puzzle toys and video games. They always got you to think outside the box and they were super fun too! Not to mention, you adored the praise he gave you for solving them. 

Now, one of his most well known (or perhaps…infamous?) creations was in front of you. Waiting to go on a virtual enigmatic adventure. 

‘I-I’d love to Eddie! This is exciting!” Edward chuckled. He always did love your enthusiasm for his creations. 

He lifted his head up from your shoulder and gave an encouraging kiss to your temple. 

“Good luck, darling. And don’t be surprised if it’s a bit different than what you might have learned when it was released.” 

After that Edward walked out of his office, leaving you a bit confused at that last statement. 

You knew a little about the game, it’s setting, and the objective to get to the center of a maze and outsmart the Minotaur. You have heard some kid beat the game while The Riddler was at large. What was the kid’s name? Tom? Dick? Harry?

You shrugged it off, maybe Edward just added a couple more puzzles or maybe updated some riddles?

Pushing down on the “enter” button, the game finally began. 

Minutes soon turned into a couple of hours. 

Your hands flew across the keyboard–answering riddles, clicking on arrows to navigate through the winding maze. 

A couple riddles were some you have heard or seen before:

“What is the shortest distance between a point in Nome, Alaska, and a point in Miami, Florida?”

You even recognized one of Edward’s favorite riddlers. 

“I have billions of eyes, yet I live in darkness. I have millions of ears yet only four lobes…”

Of course, the brain…duh!

You have yet to run into the Hand of Fate or the Minotaur. 

You couldn’t help the proud smirk that grew on your face as you saw the center of the maze up ahead on the map. 

However, now the questions…seemed to have changed. 

The riddles thus far have been fairly usual and some were related to the theme of the Minotaur mythos…

Yet, these last few had a more…romantic feel?

“I can break, I can be clogged, I can be attacked, I can be given, I can be kept, I can be crushed, yet I can be whole at the same time. What am I?” 

A heart…

You navigated further to the center before you hit another riddle. 

“I hurt the most when lost, yet also when not had at all. I’m sometimes the hardest to express, but th easiest to ignore. I can be given to many, or just one. What am I?” 

You tapped your finger on top of the mouse as you pondered. 

“Love…” You typed out the word and pressed the enter key. 

Heart, love…odd but you could feel your cheek slightly warm. Perhaps, these were the changes he made, to make the game more special for your playthrough. 

Finally, you are just outside the center of the maze. You’re confronted by the Minotaur before you can pass through the final gate. 

The pixelated minotaur raised his blade before asking a final riddle. 

“Answer the riddle…and you shall pass to the center of the maze. If you answer incorrectly, you shall perish.” The red text typed out the Minotaur’s speech. 

“For your final riddle…” The Minotaur began. 

“...It connects two people���yet it only touches only one. What is it?” 

An empty text box appeared at the bottom of the speech box. A vertical line blinked, waiting for an answer. 

“W-What?” You asked out loud to yourself. 

Connects two people…but only touching one or the other?

You were lost in thought, so much so you didnt’ hear the door open and someone slowly walking behind you. 

Edward wore a proud wide grin on his face. You were so close to the finish line and he had the perfect reward. 

“A…not a…ugh…there was love…heart…it’s gotta connect.” 

You gasped as your mental lightbulb went off. You typed sporadically on the keys. 

“A…wedding…ring?” You pressed enter. 

The screen went black for a moment, before showing your warrior character in the middle of the maze standing in front of a trove of treasures. 

Your smile grew wide as the text came up confirming your victory. 

“Eddie!” You hollered as you jumped out of your seat. “I did it!” 

“I knew you could, darling.” Eddie beamed. 

You jumped again this time in surprise more than excitement. 

Edward was right behind you, a soft look filled with affection topped with a sweet smile. 

“Eddie! W-When–how–I, I did not see you-”

Edward chuckled. “I wanted to be here just before your inevitable win. I knew you would…but you never cease to amaze me.” 

You giggled as you rushed over to him, planning for an embrace. But before you got your arms around him–he dropped down on one knee. 

Your eyebrows scrunched in the middle. 

Then another lightbulb goes off. 

The riddles, the answers…especially near the end. 

“I may be the smartest man in this world…but only you could make me the happiest man in this world…will you marry me?” 

You got your second wind to rush him again, to finally embrace him. This time you followed through and even knocked him down to the ground. 

“Yes! Yes!” You shrieked excitedly, “I’d love to!” 

Edward sighed in relief as he tightened his arms around you. When you finally let up, Edward gently slid the ring on your finger. 

“It connects two people…” He began. 

When the ring nestled around the base of your finger, your smile widened more than when you won the game.

“Yet, it only touches one.” You finished.

[livestock-and-bibles]

VERY curious about ur mouthwashing thoughts but also it’s been a while since ive seen the game so ive gotta rewatch a playthru augh

There’s a couple of reasons as to why I don’t have much interest in the game!!

1. Gameplay

I honestly cannot stand this new trend of horror games that are just the player talking to people, walking around, occasionally finding an object. I dislike this in the game Bad Parenting also. I’m like. Why does this have to be game? There’s no gameplays so what’s the point? I think it would’ve been more enjoyable as a novel or an animated series with the graphics it already has! It would be very striking. So yeah I find the actual gameplay very dull. Also the controls look really wonky from when I watched gameplay of it

2. Characters

I found myself not really caring too deeply about anyone? Like Curly is okay I guess, I like his design and the disability theming but his actual personality is so meh to me. Jimmy has potential but it never really explains why is inferiority complex is so deep so I’m just like ??? Barely any of the characters ever get and of their backstory or family life discussed except for Daisuke and Swansea but even then it’s very little (but those two are my favourite characters and I have very little criticism for them lol. They carried the game). I have so much hatred in my heart for the way they wrote Anya. It just feels so misogynistic to me. Like ofc the only woman on the crew has the rape as backstory + pregnancy plot. I’ve never seen that before /s. I’m just so tired of that being the only plot line women get in horror media. I understand the pregnancy is supposed to parallel with Curly’s disability but it’s still a very tired trope. Also her design is clearly ripped off of Wendy Torrance from The Shining lmao. There’s also a lot of other design elements that are kind of ripped off from Evangelion (the text on screen resembles the the title cards, Curly post accident resembles an Eva, etc.) so I just don’t really care about most of the characters and their relationships except for Daisuke and Swansea, and they don’t get enough screen time anyway lol

3. Plot

Most of the base plot is pretty good and interesting. It’s a solid premise. But I feel as though it’s kind of meandering until you get to the big twists. I was just watching like. When are we getting to the meat of the story. I do like the dual / non linear narrative, that’s always fun. Definitely some enjoyment was lost just bc I saw spoilers online, but I think a game is pretty weak if it’s enjoyment is completely lost because of spoilers, like I replay The Dark Descent all the time even though I know the ending because the story is that strong and the gameplay is fun. That’s where the game kind of suffers because the gameplay is so weak. Also I think the ending was kind of dragged out. I was watching the playthrough and I was just sitting there like. When will this be over. I get it Jimmy is terrible. We do not need five more scenes about this. There are some really fun moments though, like when he eats Curly’s leg or when Swansea mercy kills Daisuke (That’s always a trope I love) Though those are the only scenes I can remember where I was genuinely enjoying the game.

Overall I feel that the game was more style over substance, and a lot of it just wasn’t really my cup of tea when it comes to games. Don’t even get me started on how the fandoms seems to ignore Swansea (an old fat guy) and Daisuke (the only person of colour). Like y’all’s ageism, fatphobia, and racism is really showing guys. I see how y’all favour the white, conventionally attractive characters over these two,

I really wanted to enjoy the game. I really did. But alas. It just wasn’t really my vibe when it comes to horror games and I can be picky so it’s not to say that my opinion is the only correct one, it’s just how I feel. It was mainly the gameplay that I had a problem with, I just can’t get into walking simulator games lol

[roxtron]

Soo after getting back into fnaf I finally got to play SB and Ruin for myself, and honestly I’m a bit shocked by the debate about who cut the elevator, I thought most people would be in agreement it’s more likely to be the mimic than Gregory but it looks like some of the fandom is pretty conflicted. So for fun I wanted to go through most of the evidence I’ve seen to try and argue why I think it can’t be Gregory.

Of course I could be wrong, anyone could, that’s the nature of this series. I think it’ll be interesting to see where the story goes from here, regardless of which path they take. But here’s my take on it.

I wanna try to keep this more structured than pure rambling so first I wanna go through evidence that suggests it was the mimic. Obviously the first note is the most obvious piece of evidence everyone points out, the subtitles. 

While some people think it’s an error or a glitch that the subtitles overlap, or argue that the files state this is the real Gregory, I don’t think that’s enough to disprove it. Why would they want to spoil if it was Gregory or not if that’s meant to be questioned? If it was supposed to be clear-cut that Gregory did cut the elevator, I feel like they’d make it more obvious. The static cut matching with the subtitle ‘glitch’ is way too convenient. And spoiling a plot twist would just defeat the whole purpose.

If it was a glitch, it would’ve been patched. I’ve seen some people argue they experienced this glitch in their playthroughs during SB, but the only times I’ve seen that is when two characters’ dialogue overlaps. I’ve only seen it with separate characters, and the only time I can remember it happening with the same character is if it was intended to be two different scenes, like if I were to get a dialogue trigger for an area while the cutscene dialogue was still playing. (By that I mean the dialogue for the last trigger was still playing by the time I activated another dialogue trigger, the player was likely meant to let the original dialogue finish before starting a new one.) I know it can also happen when you mute the game and it lets all the dialogue overlap, but that’s because they’re separate lines being played at the same time because they’re not playing at all, if that makes sense. Maybe this is because I played SB post-Ruin, but I feel like the argument that it’s a common glitch doesn’t really hold up, especially because this is an ending cutscene, you’d think there’d be more priority on making sure it works as intended. And if it were a glitch, why did everyone get it? Don’t most glitches only happen to some people and not others, and that’s why they don’t usually get caught in development? I know I went off on a long tangent with the subtitle glitch here, but I dunno. I just don’t think it’s a good enough excuse considering other evidence. 

Anyway, moving on to stronger pieces of evidence, something plenty of people have pointed out from searching out-of-bounds with youtubers like RyeToast, the battery pack. 

The mimic was left right outside the elevator, and the battery powering it right there. Obviously I’m not an elevator mechanic, I wouldn’t know the exact logic behind it, but I’d assume all he would need to do is cut the cords to let the elevator fall.

Some people have argued that’s not how elevators work, since it wouldn’t fall, it would just come to a stop, but I think some people are forgetting about location here. This isn’t a commonly used elevator like the ones that lead to the atrium or attractions, it’s an old elevator in a mostly abandoned building underground. When you use the main elevator to get down there in the base game, Freddy even mentions the elevator doesn’t seem safe, and likely won’t survive more than one trip.

(Though that line still confuses me, considering in that ending they go back up the elevator to get back to the surface. So does he mean one trip there and back?? If that was what he meant then how was the elevator still running by the time of ruin?

Regardless of which ending is canon, they would’ve used the elevator once there and back to trap the mimic in the first place, and then cassie would’ve used it again to get down there.

Maybe I’m misunderstanding Freddy, maybe it was just a gameplay mechanic so you couldn’t go back since it’s endgame stuff, I dunno. Just found that worth mentioning.

Either way, the point is the elevator probably doesn’t have those safety protocols that would make it come to a safe stop.) 

That aside, how would Gregory do it? Sure he can hack into communication devices to try to contact Cassie, but that’s all he’s done. It’s not like there’d be a system he can hack into where all he has to do is type a command to cut the elevator. Sure he’s been hacking into all kinds of shit, but there’s nothing he’s hacked into that’s directly resulted in any action similar to this one. Sure he could hack a bot and make a bot do it, but do you really think there would be any bot nearby for him to even attempt that? It just doesn’t make any sense.

I feel like if there’s anything Steel Wool has been consistent with it’s environmental storytelling, we didn’t exactly guess how the mimic got trapped based on dialogue or text. It’s because of the way the vent collapsed, the way the backpack was placed, the fact the walkie talkie had to have been left in a rush, no way they would’ve purposefully given the mimic a communication device to try and manipulate someone with.

So if they took the time to show the battery being right outside the door, right next to the mimic, but never showed us any kind of examples for how someone could remotely cut an elevator like that, it kinda points in one direction a lot more than the other.

Anyway, this section might be a bit all over the place, but I wanna look at some people’s arguments for why it wasn’t the mimic, and attempt to debunk them where I can, which will inevitably lead into further evidence I didn’t include in the first section.

One of the strongest pieces of evidence for why it isn’t the mimic is the voice, some people theorized the mimic may be running some sort of program to splice the audio together, and that’s why he’s only copying specific lines/clipping together sentences towards the end of the game. While that could be true I honestly don't think it is. 

While there’s subtle hints throughout the game that it isn’t actually Gregory talking to us, I’d argue that’s what a lot of them are, subtle. Some people point to the camera system using Cassie’s voice as a lure as evidence it can mimic people’s voices. But it wasn’t copying the voice, it was just playing a recording. Every time Cassie's voice played it was that one line from the beginning, “Gregory, are you there?” But it was never a unique line of dialogue she’s never spoken.

I honestly think it’s just a developer choice for that moment to really hit. If you’ve spent the whole game believing this is really Gregory, then by the time you get to Roxy Raceway and he asks you to kill Roxy to save him, all the glitching in that audio lets the realization hit. And I imagine it gives Cassie doubt too, but if you think about it, she’s already hit the point of no return. It’s too late to turn back now, she’s deactivated almost all the nodes, spent an entire night in this place (since it was still daylight when the game starts, but nighttime when we get to the wrecking ball area.) And considering how empathetic she’s shown to be, would she really just walk out because she thinks it isn’t him? Don’t you think there’d be at least some part of her that says “what if it is him, and I’ve just left him here to die?” 

Meanwhile when Gregory’s voice was used on the camera systems.. It’s honestly hilarious, I’m surprised nobody talks about it. Maybe it’s because I spent longer in Roxy Raceway than most players did, but his lines definitely fit with his personality. They’re all so taunting, and considering they’re used only against Roxy, I believe they were actually recorded by him, not the system mimicking his voice. The mocking “I’m so scared and alone!” “I’m here, you just can’t see me.” And FUCKING “Marco.. Polo!” (That one’s so evil it always makes me laugh.) You gotta admit that’s definitely something Gregory would do. 

Sure the mimic can copy his voice, but it can’t really copy his personality all that well if you read between the lines. The majority of the mimic’s lines for Gregory kinda fall into a few categories. Whiny, demanding, and monotone. With it being more whiny and scared than usual to try and get Cassie to believe it’s really in danger. It being more demanding to get Cassie to push forward. (Strong example being the Monty Golf catwalks, for some reason I struggled to find the Nodes there and he was constantly giving lines like “You really need to get back to redirecting the gondolas” or something along those lines. Trying to get you back on task.) And finally monotone, a lot of his lines can come across as more objective statements than anything, very little emotion involved.

Gregory’s never that whiny or afraid from what we see in the games, sure he has his moments, but in Security Breach his overall attitude isn’t being afraid, just done with this shit. It’s a bit more complicated than that but playing this game in retrospect with that knowledge makes it really interesting. Trying not to spoil the twist for other people led me to looking into all the voice lines, thinking “is that really something Gregory would say?” And the majority of the time, no, not really. I was practically scrambling at points to try and explain some voice lines to my friends trying not to spoil them. It’s not as much of a consistent personality as it is a split, he acts differently when the situation calls for it. Which, duh, that’s how human behavior works, but I hope you get what I mean when I say that.

I got a bit sidetracked but back to the idea the mimic is splicing audio together. While it’s an interesting point that would explain some cut-together dialogue.. 

Plus, it’s horror, sometimes characters have to be oblivious for the show to go on, y’know? I think this moment was intended to hit that way. The final confirmation something is definitely off, but as the player, you still don’t know what exactly it is. Because that’s not the reveal, you never find out what’s really been talking to you until you see the mimic in person. It’s another way to draw you in, keep your curiosity. If it did seem like it fully was Gregory players may start to question it in a way that wants them to turn back, but if it’s made clear this probably isn’t Gregory it leaves you to wonder, what the fuck is it?

Point is, I think it was just a developer choice, not something we’re supposed to take as evidence. And my main reason for that is, it’s kind of immediately contradicted. 

If you go back and watch the ending over again, he does mainly use pre-recorded lines, but if you look at what he says when Cassie frees him, it’s not pre-recorded. It goes from the pre-recorded, more upbeat and thankful “You saved me!” to monotone, stating it as fact. “You saved me.” If he were splicing together sentences, then where the fuck did that line come from? Maybe I’m just not as observant as I thought, but as far as I’m aware the only pre-recorded “You saved me!” is the one he uses first. The second one is nowhere to be found in SB. It kinda disproves the idea he’s splicing sentences if he immediately after gives us a new line that isn’t spliced. It’s an interesting theory for sure, but I don’t think it adds up. 

I was going to go more in depth on the tech stuff happening here but I realized I’ve made this section long enough already so I’ll put it into this section, I don’t think it’s something his character would do.

Now initially I was gonna cut straight to characterization and whatnot, and I will get to that later, but I’m gonna start by going through the tech stuff.

Every time Gregory tries to contact Cassie in-game, it’s usually through a separate piece of tech. I’ve only heard the lines separate from the game, and I’m definitely not data-mining myself, so I can’t prove that this line is the real Gregory, but..

I think one of the first times he contacts her is when you first see Roxy crying in her salon. For one, the timeline would match up. When he talks during the end of the game he says he’s been trying to contact us all night. But Cassie walked into the pizzaplex when it was still bright out, likely in the middle of the day since it doesn’t seem to be sunset, although that could just be my interpretation. If Gregory had been trying to contact her “all night” then it seems like he didn’t realize what was going on until much later in the game. If I’m remembering correctly you don’t see the wrecking ball through the ceiling revealing it’s nighttime until at least halfway through the game. 

(Although side note, I’m not sure how the mimic first contacted Cassie to lead her to the pizzaplex in the first place. The game makes it seem like the walkie talkie is the first time they talked but she wouldn’t be here in the first place if she wasn’t told to come here beforehand. Personally I think she was sent a message with the dialogue in the trailer, though I think we’re all collectively confused what device she would’ve received that message from.)

Anyways, if that point is one of the first times he’s contacted her, it would make a lot of sense. If it was the mimic calling to Cassie again, why would it not be from the walkie talkie when it’s still right there in her hand? If it was from the walkie talkie, why would it sound like it was coming from a distance, and why would Roxy run in the opposite direction? Whatever he was attempting to contact her from, it clearly wasn’t the walkie talkie.

Then there’s the rare voice line with the staff bot. 

Once again, he’s trying to contact her through a robot, not the walkie talkie. There’s a possibility he may be able to access the walkie talkie’s signal, but he can’t speak through it. I initially thought he might need cameras for this, and that point kinda stands for the mimic chase, but for this? All he has to do is listen in on the walkie talkie conversation to know which area of the pizzaplex is in. And if he had no way to access the walkie talkie’s signal, how would he even find out about this whole situation? If he found out sometime that night it seems likely to me that he somehow came across the signal and realized what was going on. And if he had 0 access to the walkie talkie.. Wouldn’t it be pretty inconvenient if he’d hacked a staff bot in Roxy Raceway to talk to her while she’s running around Bonnie Bowl?

I’ll talk about that voice line again later but for now I wanna move on to the other lines of dialogue, the last time he’s able to contact Cassie, finally through the walkie talkie.. Is the moment the mimic is busy fighting Roxy and chasing Cassie. I’ve seen some people try to argue even that wasn’t Gregory but that wouldn’t make any sense. If he was still talking on the walkie talkie during the chase wouldn’t she recognize the sound is coming from behind her.. And not the walkie talkie.. Plus, again, the files argument, with other lines being referred to as Grimic and these lines being labelled Gregory. 

And this might get a bit too theoretical but here’s my idea, the mimic used a signal jammer to prevent Gregory from communicating with her. That’s why he kept hacking separate signals like the staff bot. Considering he supposedly gives Helpi a signal jammer to prevent M.X.E.S (though to be fair that doesn’t last, it’s still established he can do this.) I don’t think it’s a stretch to say the walkie talkie’s signal was jammed so he couldn’t talk through it, the only times he does talk through it is while the mimic is busy. Even after Cassie gets in the elevator Gregory still might not fully trust the walkie talkie won’t cut him off now that the mimic isn’t busy anymore, that might explain why he hacks into the speaker system when, again, the walkie talkie is still there, isn’t it? Unfortunately for him I think that plan doesn’t work out, the mimic takes over and speaks for him. I think one of the biggest pieces of evidence is cut voice lines. 

Getting sidetracked for a bit.. 

If you look at some of the voice lines labelled to be Gregory, there’s an alternate line for the elevator scene. While the final game says “But we can’t risk being followed.” the cut line instead tells her “But make sure it doesn’t follow you.” This feels a lot more in character, a warning to her instead of a goodbye. I think this may not be a cut alternate ending, but it may be how the conversation would’ve gone if it was Gregory talking. What Gregory meant to say vs. what the mimic told Cassie. While this isn’t solid proof I think this interpretation makes a lot of sense, especially considering all the other evidence. 

Another detail about her being tricked, considering the missing posters in Roxy’s salon, this might be the first time she’s talked to Gregory in a long time. He might’ve just left after SB and just stopped talking to her because of how complicated everything’s gotten, thinking it’s better for her not to be involved in all this. Would anyone really want to have the conversation of explaining all that? Telling her the truth about him getting trapped in the pizzaplex, almost murdered by Vanny and the animatronics on multiple occasions? 

And another side note, if Gregory had told her what happened to Freddy, wouldn’t she also be questioning that whole situation? She doesn’t seem to have any reaction to the prototype on his foot, just hoping he’s functional. The only endings where Freddy doesn’t escape the pizzaplex are the endings where his whole body is destroyed. (Except the escape ending where Gregory just leaves and gets killed by Vanny after, but that’s not canon for obvious reasons.) 

As much as it sucks to be kept in the dark she clearly has been, she has no idea about Vanny or the animatronics being destroyed from what Gregory did to them.

Her only note about seeing Vanny on the cameras being “hey, she’s wearing my mask!” as if it wasn’t worn by her first. And her “What happened to you?” when she sees Chica. 

If he were to get the fire escape ending, Freddy dies after pushing himself and Vanny off the roof. While that already feels not-canon because of Vanessa most likely being freed and with Gregory during Ruin, even if you’re one of the people that assumes that ending means Vanny isn’t Vanessa, regardless of argument on that theory Freddy would be broken, and outside the pizzaplex, not in fazerblast. 

If he gets the bad Vanny ending, Freddy is fully dismantled with his head still attached and left behind. So why would he have no head in Ruin if that were the ending, especially when the work tables suggest there were technicians trying to repair the animatronics in between SB and Ruin. You’d think putting his head back on would be the first repair they’d make if the head was still there, and this was our Freddy.

TLDR here, point is if Gregory had told Cassie what happened to Freddy, through whatever canon ending that would be, Cassie would’ve known that wasn’t the real Freddy. Personally I think the prototype foot suggests a lot more that this is a red herring, not the Freddy we know, rather than just a retcon. 

Sorry for the long tangent, I know it was a bit sidetracked from the main topic here.

Even her Dad’s kept her in the dark regarding secrets like this considering the whole “My Dad wouldn’t tell me what happened to Bonnie.” Whether he knew what happened or not is a different story, but clearly she’s already been kept in the dark about stuff like this. After all it’s a heavy topic to get into, and with Gregory, considering some people still hate him for dismantling the animatronics I don’t think it’s a stretch to say he might worry Cassie would be mad at him for it. Whatever you feel about his character, in his mind it was self-defense. Extreme self-defense, but still. In his mind, the animatronics have spent all night trying to kill him, so if he harms them, it’s really just an eye for an eye, isn’t it? Those upgrades would help Freddy and whether this was his main motivation or just a part of it, upgrading the only animatronic helping him would definitely increase his chances of survival. 

But finally I wanna move onto more emotional arguments. It doesn’t seem to fit his character with what we’ve seen so far. Some people will say “wtf are you talking about? If he’s willing to kill the other animatronics he’d be willing to kill Cassie.” But I disagree. I think it’s missing an important part of his character. Yes, he’s been shown hurting other people. The other animatronics, Vanny, but I don’t think he would ever hurt someone he cares about. That’s the difference. The other animatronics were trying to kill him, so was Vanny. It’s not like he antagonized them first or did all this unprompted. He had a reason, and he had no emotional connection.

But have we ever seen him hurt anyone he cares about before this? He never has and I don’t think ever would hurt Freddy. In all the endings something bad happens to him, he cries, in some endings he’s able to do something to fix it, but in others, he’s clearly upset by the loss. Even in cut voice lines, apparently he originally would’ve been crying when Freddy got kidnapped by Moon. He clearly cares about Freddy, and does his best to make sure they can both escape. That’s the balance here. If he really was just a terrible character that doesn’t care about anyone, why would he be so distressed when something happens to Freddy? Why would he bond with him in the first place? Theoretically he could’ve just viewed Freddy as a tool, he is a robot after all, but he didn’t. He bonded with him and cared about him as he would for another person. 

Why give her directions for how to escape, why take the time to explain things to her? If he knew how it was going to end, why do any of this at all? I think if you were forced to kill your best friend, you’d probably sound more stressed than that. And it’s not like that’s any sort of voice acting issue, there’s clearly good direction given for there to be a clear difference between the mimic and Gregory during most scenes. He’s had stressed voice lines before, including the lines he has in Ruin, it just doesn’t make sense for him to seem like he doesn’t care at all when he’s been desperately trying to contact her. 

If he really was the one to drop the elevator, if he purposefully killed her, why does he seem so cold? If he had to kill Freddy for whatever reason I’m sure he’d be crying about it. Even in the escape ending where he leaves without Freddy he’s crying, and that’s not even an ending where Freddy gets hurt as far as we’re aware. So if Cassie was his best friend, someone he cared about enough to go through all this trouble to help her in the first place, to spend all night trying to contact her, guide her to the elevator.. If he really didn’t care about her, why do all this? Why wouldn’t he just assume she's dead and move on.

You could argue it’s because he was trying to prevent her from freeing the mimic before it was too late, but if that’s the case why would he give her directions when the mimic’s already been set free? Even in the elevator he directly tells her “You shut off the security, and now it’s free.” So if he knew/believed the mimic had already escaped, why kill Cassie ‘so it can’t escape.’ Even if that were also true, that’s not the only escape route. The mimic could still use the elevator Cassie used to get down here in the first place. He’d only be cutting off 1 of 2 exits. 

It’s so contradictory, if it were true I sure hope it has a good explanation in the next game. And again, the voice lines.. He sounds so panicked during them, through the mimic chase he’s yelling the directions, repeating himself, he’s clearly not calm during all this shit. He clearly cares about her. And for me, especially the rare voice line shows it. If you go back and listen to it again, the initial “Cassie is that you?” sounds a bit more panicked than the typical mimic calling out to Cassie, but at the end? After the voice glitches, that final “Cassie. Is that you?” It just sounds so full of despair to me. It’s a level of emotion the mimic never really displays for Cassie, it only sounds worried for its own safety, never concerned for hers.

Maybe I’m too invested, after all I get far more attached to characters than the lore itself, but from what we’ve seen of these characters I just feel like it would be really out of character if this was all meant to be taken at face value. If it was Gregory that cut the elevator, if he somehow managed to do it, and barely seemed to regret that choice. 

I think even if he did there’s still an argument to be made in his defense, after all we don’t know what the mimic has done to him in the games, we don’t know what it’s capable of, what he’s so afraid of. While sure we know about the mimic from the books, considering the questionable canonicity from books to games being the same timeline, and considering (as far as I’m aware) Gregory isn’t directly shown to have a connection to the mimic in those books.. Whatever he’s done in the games we haven’t seen yet, whatever happened that led Gregory to seal the mimic down there in the first place, it had to be pretty bad to cause all this. For such extreme security to be put around it, for him to leave things in a hurry, desperate to get out of there. Whatever happened clearly left some scars, whether those are physical, emotional, or both.

But that’s all I’ve got. I still find the other theories interesting, and I’m not denying they could be true. Look at the series we’re talking about here. But, with the evidence we’ve got, personally this is my take on it. I can only hope it’s true, but if I’m wrong, oh well I guess lol. I think Gregory’s definitely going to come back one way or another, whether he’s just down there to try to trap the mimic again, or if he’s going back to save Cassie, or both! I hope however he does come back it can clear up a few things. If you read all the way through, thanks, I know I ramble a lot, and I appreciate you taking the time to go through this, whether you agree with me or not. 

[hostilecandle]

You’ve played the Modern Warfare games, right? I’m new to the fandom and wanted to know if it was worth it actually playing the games versus watching a play through versus just running off vibes and fandom. Is the fandom accurate to the characters? I’ve seen some WILDLY different interpretations of them.

Howdy anon, welcome to the fandom! Sorry if this is a little lengthy but I want to give you a fully honest answer so you feel best suited to what you'd like to do :)

Yeah I have played them! I personally feel playing the games is so better of an experience than just watching a play through because there are so many different dialogue options and decisions you can make in them that you may not likely see in play thorughs during to personal preference and I also felt much more attachment to the characters themselves after having played as them and have to make decisions that directly affect them. Especially for MW and MW2. There are a few missions, specifically in MW, that affected me enough to put the game down for a bit and relfect on decisions I made and the consequencesof them, but when I've watched people play it it doesn't really do anything to me emotionally because i wasnt the one who made that call. (MW3 is honestly just a really expensive dlc tbh and majority of it is cut scenes and videos so you could probably just watch a playthrough of that one for a very similar experience to playing it if you don't want to shill out the 70 bucks though 😅)

That all being said, just watching play throughs is also just fine! And there are several compilations of the different dialogue options that you'd be able to find so you don't have to worry about missing extra context. Someone somewhere will be talking about it :)

As for fandom interpretation of the characters, I personally think they're horrific and not even close to accurate most of the time. The truth is many people in the fandom have neither played the games or bothered to watch a playthrough. They're running off vibes alone and because of that don't understand the canon of the characters or their importance to the story (a common thing you'll see is Gaz being replaced by a warzone operator who isn't in the games or Roach from the og games bc the fandom is under the impression he has no personality when he's actually the character you play as the most and learn the backstory of 😅). Fandoms will do what fandoms will do and everyone will have their own interpretation of the characters, but most are not true to the actual source material in any way here and it can be frustrating at times so I would definitely tread carefully as people like to make headcannons seem like canon.

All and all I hope you have fun whatever you choose, anon! This fandom can be a pretty nasty place sometimes so be careful <3 My blog is always open for questions and is a place that doesn't tolerate harassment over fiction of any kind and I try to reblog from equally cool and chill people that also make awesome fandom content. :D

[hughjidiot]

Total Drama Level Up: Chapter Five Sneak Peak

ETA on chapter five of Total Drama Level Up will be sometime next week. So here's a sneak peak for anyone interested.

On the other side of the warehouse, the seven Turtles rode off: Nichelle and Caleb to the south, Julia and Raj to the center, and the remaining three into the north. The low rumbling of wheels and tires on cement echoed as Zee, MK and Lauren looked around, carefully scanning the skatepark set pieces for any glowing lights and finding none.

“We should probably further split up if we want to cover more ground,” Lauren said after a few seconds.

“Good call, but let’s not go far,” Zee said, nodding in one direction. “I’ll check over that-a way.”

He angled his body to turn, pushing himself along the ground to give him more speed as he rounded a free-standing wooden wall.

“I’ll check this way,” MK said, steering her bike towards a cluster of smooth metal picnic tables. As she rode off, out of the corner of her eye she saw Lauren gliding along next to her. “Hey, you got any idea where they hid those t-shirt canons?”

Lauren shook her head. “’Fraid not. They must’ve placed those while I was messing with the equipment.”

“Damn. Ah well.” MK kept pedaling towards the picnic tables. She noticed that Lauren was still rolling in the same direction with her. “Thought we were splitting up. Did you uh, need something?”

Lauren hummed and shrugged. “We’re partners now, right? This the part where we get to know each other, or…?”

“You expecting us to braid each other’s hair while we gossip about boys, or some crap like that?” MK asked flatly. She shook her head. “We may be in an alliance, but don’t think that makes us friends. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I don’t do the whole ‘buddy’ business.”

“Oh?” Lauren kept smiling as she quirked an eyebrow. “You seem to get along just fine with Julia.”

MK snorted. “That’s ‘cause she’s cool, unlike the rest of you losers.”

“Heh, it was fun watching the last seasons back and seeing her mess with everyone,” Lauren admitted.

By now the girls reached the picnic tables, spaced randomly apart and sitting at different angles. The girls rode between them, watching to see if any were glowing.

“So question, from one girl to another,” Lauren said, “what’s the deal with you and Julia anyways?”

Now it was MK’s turn to look at her quizzically. “Deal? We’re friends, what else is there to know? We make a sick team and ran the island for most of season two.”

“And you’ve been hanging out in person after season two,” Lauren stated.

“You haven’t been stalking us again, have you?” MK asked right away, giving her a slightly-disturbed look.

Lauren rolled her eyes. “Oh relax, I’m talking about your Let’s Plays and livestreams. Heard through the fandom grapevine about your gaming channel and checked out your horror playthroughs. Loved your Sweet Home VII series by the way, very nice work.”

~~~

“Check me out @mkplays,” MK said in the confessional closest. “What? If Chase, Emma and Julia can shamelessly promote themselves then so can I, dammit.”

~~~

“Oh.” MK blinked in pleasant surprise. “Well thanks. Yeah, turned out me and Jules both lived in the greater Toronto area so we… started hanging out. There some law of reality TV against contestants keeping in touch?”

“Not at all, I know for a fact a bunch of us do. But from what I’ve seen on social media at least, only a few go out of their way to meet up in person, not counting the Hockey Bros of course. Bowie and Raj, Caleb and Priya, Ripper and Axel, you and Julia…” Lauren trailed off and shrugged again. “Just an interesting pattern I noticed, that’s all.”

With that Lauren finally veered away from MK, rolling off. MK brought her bike to a stop, a perplexed look on her face.

“… the hell she talking about? Pattern?” MK muttered. She ran through the list of names in her head. “I mean those other three are just-”

Her eyebrows shot up as realization struck like a speeding freight train. She narrowed her eyes at the back of Lauren’s head.

Lauren gave a brief glance over her shoulder, her smile morphing into a smirk for a fraction of a second.

[cadybear420]

Cadybear's Reviews- A Courtesan of Rome

Welcome to the fifteenth official Cadybear's Reviews post! Ironic that this is the fifteenth. Unfortunately this is about 10 days late for Ides of March this year. Today I'll be talking about A Courtesan of Rome, which I have ranked on the "Platinum Tier" at 9 stars out of a possible 10. My last playthrough of this story was around November-December 2021.

I’m rather fond of this one. 

This is one of the few MCs where it makes sense for them to have a lot of pre-set aspects about them, and for the record they did do a fantastic job establishing it via the flashbacks. And even then, they also manage to give us enough player agency by allowing us to choose her motives, methods, and goals. So it’s a very neat and fair balance between pre-set and flexible. 

This is also one of the few pointfully genderlocked books– while male courtesans did indeed exist in Ancient Rome, they’d likely have had vastly different experiences to that of female courtesans. Chances are, the male MC version would have so many dialogue changes that it’d basically be an entirely new book. Don’t get me wrong, I’d definitely love to see a male MC version of this story, but I can understand why PB would genderlock it. 

Admittedly the story can drag at times, and the “8 years ago in Gaul” flashbacks can be a bit of a trudge (granted they do set up the story well), but it is worth it. My only real problem is that according to some fans who are history experts, this story does stray a lot from historical accuracy. But I guess not every periodical story is gonna be perfectly historically accurate. 

That, and also the way they handled Xanthe is just… not good. Other people have explained it better, but basically, in a general sense, Xanthe isn’t much different from MC. Both are courtesans as per being victims of human trafficking, both are forced to rely on seduction to survive and overpower men– but the story villainizes Xanthe, while MC is pushed as heroic and morally grey/complex for the exact same shit. All because… Xanthe is kind of catty towards MC?

I didn’t think much of it in either of my two playthroughs, but I’ve seen other people bring it up and looking back… it’s too major to ignore. It’s hypocritical at best, and has some very troubling (racist) implications at worst. Especially in a book that’s meant to be an empowering periodical womanhood story. So it did end up bringing the book down a tier. 

We rightfully bitch about the cheap “straw loser villain woman who exists solely to have exaggeratedly bad behaviors solely to make the MC seem better” and “pitting women against each other just because they want/do the same thing” tropes all the time in Choices stories like TNA, FCL, and TBB; and while I do still rank those books much lower due to having more objective problems overall, the trope is much more unforgivable in this book given the context. 

However, while the story does have some pretty major problems, it does also have a lot of good aspects going for it that did make me mostly enjoy it. But who knows, my opinion might change after a replay. 

I will also say, it’s really fun to diamond mine this one for OG HSS Book 2. Getting to stab Caesar and then taking down Principal Isa right after. So I do have a bit of a soft spot for the book in that regard. 

[shining-scion]

Ok, here’s my thoughts/review on Pirate101 as a newcomer/someone who just beat arc 1.

I wanna start off by saying I did, overall, have a lot of fun with this game. I did. That being said—

The first thing I think is really worth addressing as a problem is just how… culturally insensitive this game gets. I’m not an expert on any of this stuff, and with Wizards I’m not sure how much is noticeable until at least Krok, but I noticed some stuff almost immediately here that I— while not an expert— am concerned about. Perhaps that’s because I’m older. I did start my Wizard playthrough very young.

First of all, the whole class of witchdoctor, the aesthetic… probably needs to go. I can tell it’s being sourced from “piratey” media, (wasn't the plot of one of the POTC movies that Jack Sparrow got tied up with a voodoo doll in some manner?) but it’s outdated and while I can’t speak for the cultures it affects, I’ve seen people speak out against using similar tropes. I’ve personally just replaced the class altogether in my own headcanons, but I don’t think Pirate has the budget or means to overhaul a whole class, and headcanons don’t fix canon, so I’m not sure what can be done here. I’m not an expert.

I can tell that, in general, much like Wizard, Pirate is a melting pot of different sailing/odyssey/pirate pieces of media. “The Road to El Dorado” is literally a movie.

In general, I don’t mind the media inspirations being blatant. It’s fun to see what I recognize and how passing bits and pieces of different stories make their way into the Spiral, and when it’s done well I think it gives the universe this really fun bizarro world vibe. The issue lies in the fact that popular culture is full of stereotypes, and it’s clear that those stereotypes were taken as face value and just seen as “tropes”— which, yeah, a stereotype is often used as a part of a trope, but that doesn’t make it ok. At all. Both games would need a serious rehaul to make some of this stuff passable, I’m sure.

In addition to the witchdoctor class, the whole entirety of Cool Ranch was really just awful to Native people, and so was the literal opening questline in Skull Island. Wizards has this problem at times too.

In general, Spiral worlds have a problem where they don’t take enough creative liberty from their source IRL locations. I wonder if they might have at least a little bit of an easier time with this stuff if they took the time to worldbuild each… well, world, until it’s a distinct thing from its source. They did so fairly well with Dragonspyre, and multiple pieces of fiction do the same, so I don’t see why they couldn’t except for maybe their “one world a year” cycle kind of stopping them from writing things like that as much as they want.

TDLR: KI, YOU NEED A SENSITIVITY READER. “IT’S FICTION” IS NOT AN EXCUSE. THOSE ARE REAL STEREOTYPES AND REAL HARM. YOU SHOULD BE DOING AS MUCH AS YOU CAN TO PREVENT PERPETUATING HARMFUL STEREOTYPES IN THE FUTURE.

I just wanted to hold space for that topic, because it’s important, and it’s probably my biggest worry above all else. I don’t know everything but it seemed worth mentioning.

Transitioning onto the brief background context I do have with this game, since that will affect my view…

I played Pirate101 once as a kid— in 2012, when it launched. My stepsister and I crowded around the home computer and waited with baited breath as we saw another side of the spiral for the first time…

I never got past like, level 3, and that first character currently says she’s “adrift in the spiral” on the loading screen so I can only assume she got shot by the Armada or something horrible. Anyway—

The idea of playing again was something I’d turned over in my mind as I got back into Wizards. Now that I was older, I figured I’d be able to grasp it better than I could as a kid, and I’d be able to pay for my own sub, as well. After a bit of thinking, I went for it. I’d heard a lot of things about the game’s current state, but I decided to try and push that out of my mind as much as possible and meet it on its own terms. I wanted to give it a fair shake and I wanted to experience it with all the unbridled joy I know it would have given me as a kid, without worrying about how the later content would or wouldn’t compare.

I’ll give the game this— I LOVE THE OPENING. Maybe I was just excited to cross the long awaited item off my list, or maybe my inner child was just giddy to start a new adventure in my favorite fictional world, but I could not stop smiling and laughing from the moment the curtains opened to the minute I landed in Skull Island. Escaping the ship was exciting, seeing the Armada was SO COOL— I can see why they’re a fan favorite 101 villain— and the way I got to pick my backstory was unique. When I realized a Swashbuckler was much the same as a Storm wizard, I was really happy to see that picking the choices that seemed to speak to me (in wizards, questions about my personality, here, what I thought would make for a cool backstory) landed me with a playstyle I favored. It’s a small, coincidental thing, but it worked and I settled into things fairly quickly.

…I did also notice that the game was a lot rougher around the edges. Small things, really— the bloom is a little too bright, some models aren’t entirely animated in the face, things like that. I didn’t mind, and honestly? It just reminded me a little bit of classic Wizard, and it grew on me within the hour.

There were a few glitches that have and continue to persist. The dialogue box when Boochbeard is psychically communicating with you, or your companions are talking while you’re doing something, is covered by the crowns shop symbol unless the menu is opened. This was a… mild problem for me, as I have an auditory processing disorder and need that text to understand what’s being said to me. As well, every time I was shown an image, it would be cut off and shown halfway above the screen. I never got to see the face of my mother. That sounds horrible out of context. Anyway—

I really enjoyed the moment you walk up to the dock in Jonah Town and see your parent’s ship. I think my little part of the game was how the chase to El Dorado often felt like you were moving in step with your parents, running beside them and only separated by time.

There’s a weird feeling of legacy and it all feels really grand in a way Wizard doesn’t. They’re both, objectively, stories about growing up and taking your place in the world, but the Young Wizard is not attached to the Spiral in the same way the Pirate is. If I were to name the difference, I’d say Wizard is about Destiny and Fate, while Pirate is much more about Legacy and Heritage. The Wizard is guided by the stars, the Pirate is guided by the echoes of the past. They’re both very different ways of addressing and justifying the great journey, but I think they work in step with each other.

Another thing that I think was done SUPER WELL is the sense of SCALE. Especially, docking at Mooshu made me realize that if anything, I hadn’t explored CRAP of the worlds I was going to. I was basically saying I explored a whole country when I was really just going to the capital. The travel times were boring and a little egregious at times, but I think they were overall needed to give a sense of just how big the Spiral really was. When you look at the illustration of the cosmos, it can almost seem sort of small, but that’s not the case at all and Pirate really wants to remind you of that.

Gear wise, I knew it was gonna be more open ended, but OH GOD. I wasn’t expecting what I got. I was waiting for a waterworks, or the Kane dungeon to be like Darkmoor, but it wasn’t like that at all. The openness was daunting, but eventually I really just pressed into the agility and attack stats, and I came through fine. Managing my companions was a little bit more of a daunting task, and I eventually realized that even on a normal playthrough, you needed to know how EVERY class played so that you could spec your companions accordingly. There’s a lot to keep up with and I don’t think the fact that I was treating it like Wizard102 helped. It took me until about Aquila to really have an idea of what I was doing.

As for Ship Things— coolest part of the game. I am REALLY impressed with how well it plays especially for the engine and when it was coded. The skyboxes are gorgeous, the fact you can run around on your boat and even get a little cabin was a pleasant surprise, and I liked the nods to Wizard’s spells with the ship combat attacks. I did play through the whole game with a partner and often rode with her, so this might not be an issue for others, but my nautical level was severely underleveled almost the entire game. I’m only on Sinbad part 1 now, but to my knowledge, I’m past the part where sailing is useful.

Now, as for purely story stuff…

This was Blind Mew’s game. I’ve heard a lot about him as a writer during my time on Wizblur, and I know he has pretty strong influence in Wizard now, but I wanted to see his writing “in his element”, so to speak.

…I really enjoyed it. I could tell that a lot of story beats were planned out in advance, with an idea of how and when exactly things would tie together. There was a thematic idea through the entire game and it stuck to that— the idea being of freedom, and choosing to seek redemption.

It was really interesting to hear this sort of idea of “redemption is an action an individual chooses to take— and it doesn’t always mean forgiveness or being allowed “back in”— it just means the person tries to do better.”

A lot of redemption arcs in the current day are very… uh… Catholic about it? You must Grovel and Suffer and Atone and only once you have Suffered and Killed All The Old Parts Of You can you be considered worthy. Pirate doesn’t do that. It kind of just says that at any point, someone can decide to turn around and do something different, and you should always give people the chance to TRY.

I know Valencia part two was rushed, but I think even then it was really good. Kane did something I really appreciated with was take the theme and add an addendum:

People can decide to turn around and do better at any point, and they deserve to be offered that chance, but some people will refuse to do better.

Kane SHOOTING HIS OWN HEART really tied a bow on the message for me. You could probably argue “well, could he really be blamed for that if he didn’t have the conscious to tell him it was the right thing to do to accept it?” But I really don’t think the whole nature of AI and how they think thing matters here.

The ending was great. I adored how all the companions sort of came to your side in the end and even explicitly said that they were your family. I’m not sure Wizard ever has a moment where an NPC says something that… close and caring to your PC.

Overall I enjoyed the chase for the map pieces, and chipping at the Armada’s elites was really well done. I wasn’t expecting them to treat the Marleybone war with so much gravity, but they did it about as well and as seriously as a kid’s game could. The finale with Rooke at the end was amazing, the atmosphere was really well done and Rooke died to my partner’s crab, which was just… peak 101 game comedic timing.

I also really loved the “GO GO GO AND GET OUT” way they structured Valencia part 1 and 2. I was genuinely tense and nervous in part 2, wondering if being Spiral Spain’s Attaché was even going work. Being so close to Kane and watching him get SCOLDED for daring to touch me was incredibly satisfying. I wish there was more time for Royal court shenanigans so that I could get to see Kane glaring at from across the room more, but I suppose that’s what fanfiction is for.

In terms of story execution and story execution purely, I’d give arc 1 an 8/10. Every beat was there when it needed to be and early actions affected the long term narrative, which was nice to see. With some Wizard worlds I do feel like they suffer from “this could have been an email” disease, but my time was less wasted in Pirate.

…Now, as for Sinbad…

I have unfortunately noticed the increase in insane difficulty, and an increase in glitches. Last night my partner and I tried to do the tower in Mooshu to find Sinbad, and we were in there for two hours, only to get teamwiped and find no dungeon recall. I understand Pirate was made to be harder than Wizards, but that is just straight up unfair for mainline content, I’m sorry. As well, a promotion quest my partner did had enemies that were almost level eighty. If the level cap is seventy, how in the WORLD is that fair?

It didn’t bother me so much initially, but now in the endgame it really does— how much is locked behind a timer. Oh, you want to level your pet? You have to constantly be starting timers for their training, and logging in regularly to stop their training and start a new one even if you aren’t playing. If your companions get injured they’re unusable until they’ve recovered, which is mostly fine in the early levels, until they need ten hours to recover at level seventy. If you’ve been trying to fight something for ages, and you keep dying, all your companions will be bedridden and you just— can’t play anymore. It reminds me of those really formulaic mobile games where everything is on a timer and progress is so, so slow that you maybe get five minutes to do things a day. Sinbad feels impossible right now because I’ve pretty much run out of ways to improve or maximize a stat to make it easier. There’s no team up either— so am I just supposed to hope I can figure out how to cheese a rigged combat system?

I am still, overall, interested in Pirate101. I want to support the game and allow it to come back to life like the developers have been trying to do. I am interested in what’s next for the story and how they’re going to expand or do something differently from the Armada. I can understand reused assets from Wizard, I can understand a few glitches or bugs, but if I can’t keep up with the gameplay, none of that matters.

It’s possible I just suck at the game. I came for the story and for the most part, I did get to experience that. It was really impressive to see how well it stood up against Wizard— it didn't feel like an aside or lesser, it had its own identity and part of the Spiral.

I’m not sure how to end this review other than… like, I can’t tell KI how to make their games, but please have a little bit of mercy. Wizard is fairly forgiving and I understand wanting to make a harder game, but there’s hard and there’s challenging. Pirate101 is not challenging me, it’s hitting me with a brick inside of a sock. I think it really needs some balancing help.

Adoring the amount of badass coats to pick from, though.

[dracolunae]

did u play the sonic murder mystery game :]? i watched a playthrough for it and I think it’s technically the first sonic game I’ve actually seen the plot for lol (<- I’ve seen a couple of games but purely through the fandubs so idrk what’s happening)

i think maybe it’s a non canon game but it seemed interesting :]

Yes!! Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog my beloved!! It’s such a fun game and really nice for characterisation :3

So far it hasn’t been referenced anywhere else so it’s not confirmed whether or not it’s canon but I’m choosing to think it is :3

Fun fact about tmosth is that the writer for it is on tumblr! Also in one of the train cars there’s this framed photo and this other pic later on a computer

The character here is called Ian Jr and started out as the writer, Ian Mutchler,’s Avatar for Sonic Forces but eventually became semi canon and beloved by the Sonic community when, for the Sonic 30th anniversary Symphony, they used footage from his game for the Sonic Forces part, featuring Ian Jr! He also got put into some of the official Sonic IDW comics as a little easter egg background character!

There’s quite a few of these sorts of easter egg background characters in the IDW comics! For example, this Ladybug and Cat that are definitely not Marinette and Adrien from Miraculous!

Or, uh this one

[danganronpafan777]

danganmon reading update also how thy day going!

Not too bad!! I’ve been busy with a Wattpad story, and a TON of irl stuff, but I just finished Chapter 2!

Here’s some notes/reactions while I was reading it/watching Blaze’s playthrough

SPOILERS

Danganmon Chapter 2 from someone who knows nothing about Pokémon:

I’m curious to see what Faust looks like without the mask as much as everyone, but ngl it kinda rubbed me the wrong way that they were pushing him so hard when it’s clearly a sore subject

HE LOOKS SO FREAKING CUTE THO

Sam: “…I think it looks nice too, maybe in this case “cute” would be the right word”

Ayooo

Last chapter, I wasn’t sure whether I should ship them or see it as a sibling relationship, but I’m leaning towards shipping

Faust keeping the mask on because he wants to be taken seriously is honestly a pretty valid reason (it’s a nice twist instead of a scar or trauma)

Maya is growing on me ngl

She reminds me of a more socially awkward Rei

Flidgey being amazing as always 

Cyrillo and Wimessir give that “We will be adored” energy 

Kami deadass asking Cyrillo why he’s tall- 

This premotive game sounds like a fun concept! I feel like Sam is gonna let Faust win

Fry seems like such a cutie that it makes me scared

So Kami and Fry don’t actually have to face off against each other? I’m assuming all the funhouses are different, so theirs is just not competitive?

BRO LAVA??

They’re literally exchanging their fav flowers while trying to escape from lava 😭 I honestly like this duo and I’m scared Fry might die

Sam really disappeared faster than my will to live 

Okay Zoro definitely giving blackened energy

Zoro and Roxanne got some sibling energy tho

I want to hug Faust so bad 

Maya and Flidgey friendship is unexpected but not unwelcome in the slightest (I actually love this dynamic)

Flidgey: A ghostly guy and a ghostly girl… lemme guess, some guy tried to suck you up with his vacuum? 

I love her sm

Stella and Cyrus being bullied by a robotic Gordon Ramsay for burning bread is def my favorite fun room 

Voodoo doll motive :0

Apollo probably got Maya, I’m calling it now

I’m getting some death flags from Lillie and Juno…

At least one of the melons is probably poisoned

Glad Sam apologized and everything worked out. Genuine apologies and communication is rarer than it should be in dangan/fangans

I’m officially on board with Sam x Faust and Maya x Flidgey 

If any of them die I’m rioting man

(Flidgey raised some death flags and if she goes then I’m quitting this fangame I swear /hj)

…FUCK

*end credits*

(I swear that wasn’t planned)

A trade between dolls?  Apollo is probably involved, but it’d be a cool twist if Flidgey was the one who swapped

I’m never forgiving whoever the hell killed Flidgey tho 

Okay now Apollo starting to piss me off (Still like his character tho)

CALLING HER FRIDGEY BRO THE DISRESPECT

(I hate how it made me laugh)

Wimessir is my top suspect tho, she’s just acting a bit sus

I KNEW IT

WTF APOLLO YOU BITCH

Okay I forgive Wim but Apollo you’re dead to me

Oh god, using Cyrillo against her is a whole new level of screwed up

KICK HIS ASS CYRILLO

Sapphire tucking in Juno’s doll makes me feel a lil better tho

CYRUS MY MAN

Out of all the antags in dangan, Apollo is the first to just be badshit insane, and like a genuine pychopath

(Well, his backstory does sound screwed up from what little we’ve seen of it)

The bags under Cyrillo’s eyes makes me sad :(

I actually loved this chapter tho, the funhouse games and the bonding between the characters is such a good buildup

9/10

The investigations are a bit short and Wimmessir’s guilt came a bit out of nowhere (In terms of evidence. I had suspicions from her behavior, but Apollo’s accusation and the purple hair was a bit abrupt) It felt like everyone turned against her rather quickly, and not much could really prove her involvement, but her execution was well done

This was great, but I kept thinking of the ways a reader would fit into the story which really shows the type of person I am (I write too many x readers lmao)

[danieesketches]

[MAY 2006]

‘And when they do, there’s an explosion of emotions. They talk and laugh and smile. They go see a movie, they go out for a meal, mobile phones allow them to take photos so easily and they have fun pulling stupid faces into the tiny lens, hands twisting awkwardly so the camera can actually focus on them.’

.

I’m not a writer, but after finishing Road 96 Mile 0, I had many emotions and decided to write a fanfic. I’m not the greatest writer out there, and I imagine there’s probably a fair few mistakes in this, but I had fun creating this.

More of my ramblings are below the keep reading line, along with the story. It became way longer than I imagined it would, but I hope you enjoy reading it, if you chose to do so!

[SPOILERS  IN STORY AND AUTHOR NOTES BELOW]

Self indulgent Road 96 Mile 0 fanfic because the game was everything I hoped for it to be and more.

SPOILERS FOR MILE 0 AND ROAD 96 GOOD ENDINGS.

Also, there is swearing in this story.

This is set during and after the ending in which Kaito and his family are driving away to start their new lives. There is also some mentions of the Road 96 ending where Florres wins (specifically the ending where John, Fanny and Alex embrace one another).

I haven’t started the main Road 96 game yet though, so the knowledge of it I do have is based on playthrough bits I’ve seen on YouTube.

It’s somewhat mostly Kaito-centric but I do try to discuss his parents and a few other characters here and there.

.

In which life goes on and the years bring many changes.

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The feeling of the night time breeze hit Kaito as he mindlessly gazed out the open window. The stars lined the sky for what seemed like endless miles and the view behind them got smaller and smaller.

Big Bear Rest Stop got smaller and smaller.

Petria got smaller and smaller.

Kaito could have screamed, he could have cried. Zoe had taken the file, but she’d finally know. She’d finally wake the fuck up and see he was right all along. Robert had been so close to finishing them all off there but something in the gun wielding man let them live, leaving with fake IDs, glances across their shoulder and hope.

Instead, he cleared the breath he’d lodged into his throat and whispered “I love you both.” to his parents. He’s nearly lost them so many times, but he hasn’t told them how much they mean to him. How he’s sorry he’s been so angry that he’s not let them know he can still feel love without it being at the expense of hurting someone else.

He sees his mom and dad smile. Tired smiles, but for once they seem to have a light in their eyes. Like maybe something good is ahead.

“We love you too Kaito.” Anzu smiles. “Now get some rest, we have a while to go.”

For the first time in longer than he realises, he knows he’ll sleep maybe peacefully as opposed to the often mild resentment.

.

The car takes them to a place that isn’t quite a town, village or city. More like a pit stop kind of area just after the border, enough places to look around but not exactly somewhere you’d settle down for the remainder of your life.

It’s small, quiet and far from the shitty work dormitory. Daw looks over at his sleeping wife and son and is thankful to whatever higher power exists that he lives another day to see them flourish.

.

He’d long been desensitised to the awful treatment from the upperclass toward the poorer folk of Petria. Having moved there with his wife during its early days of the past dictatorship, they’d managed to get by easily enough as long as they kept their mouths shut and just did what they were told. But then the old leadership was overthrown by Tyrak and everything went from bad to worse.

When Anzu found out they were expecting Kaito, she and her husband had been living in a small apartment at the time, but supporting a baby and yourself was not easy with their wages, so Daw took it upon himself to take as many jobs as he could so Anzu could rest during her maternity.

Their neighbours at the time had been the loveliest older couple they could ever call friends. The Johnsons had seen Petria in many of its forms. Their own lives had not been a walk in the park there, but things went onward and got manageable. Malcolm, the husband, was a crossword enthusiast but didn’t always like reading the contents of the newspapers he bought for puzzles. Abigail, the wife, was short but absolutely loved to wear a bright pink cardigan and green flowery bag whenever she wasn’t working.

They had been a staple support, Abigail coming around to check up on Anzu when Daw and Malcolm weren’t available. She’d bring around some jam and crackers and gently spoke. Malcolm helped them insulate their apartment windows and put reflective foil behind their main room radiator so they’d be a bit warmer when it got colder.

Daw was a silent man. He didn’t argue with authority. He just did as he was told, even when his boss was a pretentious 20 something year old whose manager status was entirely down to nepotism. Daw cleaned streets, wiped windows, trimmed hedges, painted walls. You name it, he’d probably done it.

Long hours, mediocre pay, but if it meant his wife didn’t have to worry or suffer, he’d do it a thousand times over.

Kaito was born on February 17th,1980. He’d cried so much and held so tightly onto the fabric of his mother’s nightdress. Daw had been afraid to hold him too roughly but Anzu had placed the restless infant in his arms and immediately, the fear was replaced by a strive to make sure his son and wife never had to worry.

In the very far distance of White Sands, fireworks had been set off for some other party, but Anzu and Daw saw those as a joyous cry out to welcome their baby boy into the world.

.

As time went on, Daw was heartbroken to see the consequences of not being able to keep his promise. Kaito was 14 when Aya passed away and he was 15 when he dropped out of high school to help his parents out when they ended up being evicted from their old apartment.

He’d done so with a smile, but Daw knew when his son was lying and would never admit to seeing the resentment he cast at the rich folk who’d look at workers as if they were scum.

Times like these, he missed the Johnsons. He regrets 1986 happening. He hoped they didn’t suffer.

.

Anzu did the speaking at the motel front desk. John had given them an envelope of cash along with a note reading the address to this place.

“Tell the front desk Mr Ursus recommended you stay here. That’ll help things run smoothly. This should cover you for a bit.” The trucker has advised them before heading on his own way.

The bearded Brigade had been right too. Front desk had them sign a month lease and gave them the keys to a room. The rate worked out fairly even to the worker dorm rent. The envelope had held a combination of their savings they had slowly put away over the course of 6 years and a little extra that John had added.

The room was one main room decorated with a double bed and single bed separated by a desk with a lamp, another desk, a tiny mini fridge and a wardrobe. An iron and a kettle were sat on the bigger table. Through a door was the bathroom which was plain but had a cupboard above the sink for storing things in.

It was big and small all at once, but for now it was home. So clad with only a few bags of clothes and the odd trinket between them, they wiped down surfaces with some wipes and set to getting accustomed to all of this.

“It’s so big.” Kaito mused. For the first time in a long time, all of them would be guaranteed to sleep in a bed for every night the family stayed here.

.

For the first three days, tiredness had taken hold of the Lin family far more than expected. To the point they’d maybe been awake for 5 hours of each day. Almost like they were chasing away years of burdens. By day four, they needed to eat an actual meal instead of a couple crackers.

Front desk had lead them to a room they could use for cooking. $5 fee per person, per use, so the family decided only one would cook in there while the others would take the food to their room.

The first proper meal they sat down to eat was rice with some veggies they’d gotten from the convenience store. Their fridge however had many sandwiches wrapped in cling film, a bag of apples, a bottle of diet cola and some instant noodles.

And it, in Anzu’s opinion, was the best meal she’d had in ages.

.

Maybe this little motel could be home for a while longer.

After their first week of staying together and slowly adjusting to now being known as the Chen family, the trio enquired to the front desk clerk about employment within that area. And would luck have it, the motel was considering hiring more help with some tasks like the laundry and housecleaning.

With the promise of things that sounded too good to be true (alright hours, alright payrate, heavily discounted accommodation and a $3 discount in the utilities rooms) the trio were responsible for things like the cleaning of the rooms, laundry and making the exterior look nice. They worked at different hours but usually two were working the same shift, leaving the third to their own devices.

“Not to worry, if Ursus sent you here, it’s the least I can do.” The woman smiled a cheeky grin before pulling out a sheet of paper to jot down their names and place them into their respective shifts.

Paychecks were given every two weeks and Kaito nearly choked when he saw they’d each gotten $60. Last time they’d gotten something even close to that was when management had been feeling generous (probably trying to be eligible for some weird tax loophole) one Christmas and gave everyone a bonus as a treat. It was only ever the once that happened though.

While his parents had work that day, Kaito had two days off and so he decided that he would treat his parents to dinner. The convenience store clerk was bored reading a magazine. Kaito felt weird as he tried to decide between which pasta sauce he wanted to try. The mini basket on his arm already had a huge bag of fusilli alongside some milk powder and a box of cereal.

Deciding on a plain tomato one, he took the items to be paid for when he glanced a packet of plain biscuits on the stand by him. And for the first time ever, he didn’t cringe when he saw they cost nearly a dollar.

.

Anzu and Daw are asleep in their bed when Kaito creeps out of the room to sit on the porch steps outside. In his hand he has a mug of water and a few biscuits on a napkin. He just sits and watches the world go by. Rarely does a car drive past tonight and here he is in pyjamas with midnight snacks, feeling the weight of the past three weeks.

Petria feels like forever ago and not long enough. He’s woken up each day and not felt like he’s going to lose his shit and tear down Tyrak posters. Thankfully this place is very ‘no politics mentioned’ (at least in attitude) so he doesn’t particularly have to consider the implications that anyone around him may want to sing praises for that shithead.

If they’re going to feel that way, they should stay silent.

The stars aren’t as bright tonight. But the skies are peaceful. He knows that if he were to stand in the middle of the road, he’d see Mount National closer than he could from the roof he and Zoe once sat at. Picking a biscuit to chew on, he pauses and places it down.

“Fucking hell.” He mumbles and draws himself close. Tears pool and are blotted away by the sleeve of his top. “fucking hell.” He repeats.

Because his family is not rich; but here he is. A warm bed, a job he doesn’t particularly hate his manager at and he just bought a pack of fucking biscuits because he saw them and decided why not? He feels like they’re finally winning something. Maybe not a huge something but there’s something.

“I know son. I know.” His mother whispers lovingly as she takes a seat next to him and brings him in for a hug. It’s been so long since she heard her son cry, even more so for reasons not affiliated with the brutal reality of what being poor poor was like.

.

Daw watched the scene from the door. For the first time in a while, all three of them had the next day free and so he decided he’d see if there happened to be any crossword books in the little shop.

“I’m sure you’d be proud, Johnsons.” The older man smiled.

.

The store has crossword books. Daw buys a handful of them.

.

They haven’t gotten around to talking about everything they went through, and for a while, they probably won’t. But that’s for their future.

.

By July, Kaito and his family take a trip to the town a 15 minute drive away from their accommodation. They’ve been putting bits of money down here and there and that’s just as well because after the past two months of a better diet and a steady enough routine, Kaito finds that his old clothes fit slightly closer on him than they used to be. His face wasn’t so gaunt anymore either, one might say he didn’t immediately look like seething death.

Their family had never had a reason to spend above their means, so on a sleepy summer morning, the trio are looking at items in a small charity shop. Amidst her collection of clothing, Anzu saw a lovely green top with flowers on it that reminded her of the bag Abigail had once owned and cherished.

Daw picked up a few Hawaiian shirts and a little fishing hat to add to his collection of one. The work back in Petria may have been gruelling but the hat he wore everyday was a comfort to him. It has been a gift Kaito had acquired for him (the younger never did reveal how he found or got the hat).

Kaito, however, had a bit of different styles in his hand. He had a couple plain tops, a pair of jeans and a couple pairs of trousers, however he also had a bright green and orange colour block shirt and a t-shirt that seemed to be for some band called Metallica.

By the time they get back, Kaito and Daw head back out to start their respective shifts cleaning the vacant rooms and sorting out the laundry load. Anzu sets to carefully removing the price stickers on the clothes and separating them accordingly to get them washed while the machines were free.

Charity shops weren’t a huge thing back in Petria, but when they were, the price of stuff was outrageous to even be considered charity.

Sat in the little room with only her thoughts, she absentmindedly listens to the radio talk about things like some pop group’s upcoming concert in Philadelphia or a new vacuum going on sale. And as the washing machine thrums, she finds herself calm.

.

Routine, Kaito learns over time, is nice. The solid structure of expecting to do something one day and another thing on another is working wonders for him. He carries a little year planner and in it he has his work shift hours written and any reminders he needs to note.

He starts thinking about the gaps in times he has on some weeks. How he remembers his days used to be fairly sporadic after he dropped out of high school. Sometimes he’d be delivering newspapers, others he’d be hanging out with Zoe- before all the need to get out was a thing.

Petria doesn’t become much of a topic of conversation for any of them, though he’s sure at some point his family is going to need to talk about this to someone. He also doesn’t hear about it on the radio stations or TV in the reception area. It’s frightening, like it cut itself off from the world. Beyond those walls was a hellscape.

This motel area isn’t perfect by any means, but it’s a thousand times better than where they ran away from and that in itself makes it almost like a heaven of some sorts. 

Kaito wasn’t sure how long they’d be staying here after they renewed their lease for the fifth time. He was starting to wonder what was beyond this beyond. 

Donning a pair of rubber gloves, Kaito sets to cleaning the utilities area of any food stains, bits of rubbish and dust that may be accumulating. As he scrubs and sprays surface cleaner, the clerk (god, what was her name?) came rushing in to him and quietly beckoned him to come into the back room.

His parents are in the room, eyes glued to the TV when they see it. The newscaster is discussing some documents that have been given to them, recording how the 1986 Peak Collapse was caused not by the Black Brigades but rather Tyrak and his government. Kaito finds himself unable to speak. And as the story progresses, they hear how the dictator had been arrested for his crimes, how Senator Florres won her election campaign and pledged to make amends with many of the citizens of Petria and break down barriers set by the corrupt class system and its equally awful upholders.

“Holy shit.” His father swore. Kaito didn’t know the man even knew how to swear. Learn something new every day.

“I imagine you guys will want some time to process this. Finish up what you’re doing now and take the rest of the night off.” The woman, whom Kaito notices has a name tag saying ‘Arlene’ speaks softly to the boy before she walks into another smaller connecting room to take a call.

The family turn to one another. This day, this day that they could never imagined would happen, had indeed happened.

“Go on Kaito.” Anzu looked ready to burst into tears, her hands shook in her husband’s and she hunched over to take a deep breath. Kaito looked over at her, and wrapped his arms around her and his dad before agreeing and leaving.

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In the smaller private room with only a filing cabinet, a yellow radio and a landline, Arlene dials a number she’s committed to memory but still keeps a post it note for. The phone line rings out and nobody takes the call, so she hangs up and just stands there.

Right now she wants to speak to John. Wants to tell him it’s all been worth it, to say thank you for what he and Conny and Stephen and Naomi had done for her all those years ago.

See, she knew what the deal with people that came to her establishment per recommendation of Mr Ursus was. Having been a Brigade as long as she was, she knew what it was like to be scared and looking for a new life.

The dictatorships of Petria had turned what could have been a good place to live into a nightmare for the reserved many.

The Brigades in their early days helped her get out, but she couldn’t bring herself to completely abandon her roots. Something about the hope John had for the future for many had drawn her to staying as a contact for the cause.

This motel had been abandoned when she took it under her wing for dirt cheap from a businessman desperate to get it sold off. And it had taken some time and perseverance, but things were going in such a way that they could keep the business running.

She was happy to spend a while longer here, until there was a guarantee that Tyrak and those alike could never ruin Petria as much as it already had been. And she’d use this place to help those John brought to her.

She’d give them employment as their new self, something to have a reference of for when they spread their wings and flew out of the nest. Rule number one, everyone gets a second chance at life. Rule number two, whoever you were before you came to her was irrelevant.

Arlene takes a deep breath and takes hold of the radio, putting it in one of the black plastic bags she always keeps in the cabinet. Tonight she is celebrating, she’s not sure how, but she is. Once night shift comes in; she’ll let them know the good news if they haven’t already heard.

.

When Kaito returns home, there are grapes and strawberries in one bowl and a huge serving of pasta and sauce in another. There’s also a bottle of cider on the desk that he nearly asks about but his mother smiles “Arlene is very kind.”

As Kaito cheekily asks if he is included in the kindness, Anzu follows up with “maybe our kindness, but not hers.” And the younger realises that’s the first time in a long time that he has heard his mom make a joke (though he knows she’s completely serious).

They eat happily that evening, and still have a nicely stocked fridge for the next few days. Tyrak is hopefully suffering tremendously and people might not have to sneak out of Petria anymore.

Kaito finds himself a little bitter that his family had to worry for so long only for a few months later to bring new hope. Only a little though. Kaito Lin was born in poverty, raised in poverty and saw people’s darkness far too often. Kaito Lin can rest easy now and Kaito Chen will carry on for him.

Maybe that, in itself, is the greatest gift he can receive.

.

And if the Chen family smile a little more often as they work the days after, well that’s not for Arlene to judge.

.

It was late September when Daw and Anzu were finishing their shifts when they saw her in the lobby. Zoe Muller, but not as they remembered her. Now she seemed different, not just because of the piercings and tattoo, but something about her seemed knowing right now. And she must have recognised the duo too because Arlene looked between the trio, lingering on the Chen’s as if to ask if they needed her to do something.

When Daw greeted Zoe with a simple “hello. You are looking well.” Arlene figured they might be okay, and left to go take care of some paperwork, sliding a set of keys to Zoe and taking a few dollar bills into the back room.

Zoe was at a slight loss for words seeing Daw and Anzu in attire that wasn’t the blue Petria workers uniform. They looked content in their grey sweats and plain tops. She took a moment to compose herself and approached the duo, keeping a slight distance between them as if she were afraid they’d reject her.

“I-I. I’m sorry.” She spologises.

“We know.” Daw comments. Kaito had told them what happened when they got into the car after Robert’s hissy fit.

“If you wish to see Kaito, he will likely be around. He likes the view on the porch steps.”

Zoe nods, fear and elation caught in her throat. She hadn’t expected the Lin family to be here. She knows John mentioned having a contact running a motel, but what were the odds of this one being the exact one that her best friend and his family would go to?

“I’d like that.” She smiles. She lets them leave first just as Arlene returns to the front and gives her a knowing look.

“Got some catching up to do or apologisin’?”

“Yes.” Zoe notes, and leaves. Arlene chuckles to herself, wondering what on earth John would say to all of this.

.

Kaito was wearing a green and orange shirt when Zoe saw him sitting on one of the remaining plastic chairs at the foot of the porch. She couldn’t tell if he was sat outside his own room or not but there he was.

He seemed at peace, a crossword book in his hand and a pencil in the other.

“K?” The nickname seems foreign on her tongue. And when the boy turns to her, he can’t help but take in Zoe’s appearance. Eyebrow and numerous lobe piercings, shorter hair and the bird tattoo she’d once had him trace was now permanent ink.

“Z?” he doesn’t seem to quite believe his eyes, setting down the book and standing up to properly determine he wasn’t imagining things.

“Can I sit?” she motions to the porch space next to him. He nods, and then they realise that they’re not the same teens they were a few months ago.

“You got that tattoo eh?” Kaito motions to her shoulder. She’s taken aback. There doesn’t seem to be animosity in his voice. And his eyes aren’t analysing or glaring. In fact, the boy before her is what she imagines Kaito would have been like if his life in Petria had been different.

His dimples are more prominent too, and here he is. As real as can be.

“You were right K. you were always right, and I was so wrong, and-“

“I know.” He muses.

Kaito neither forgive Zoe, nor did he not forgive her. It was a grey area of understanding and knowing that everyone was hurting. Granted he wished they’d left on better terms, but it is what it is and they’re here now.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.” Kaito finishes. “I’m sorry too. For hurting you back then.”

Zoe forgave Kaito the moment she read the file, but in the spirit of the conversation, she made that vocal and while it wasn’t an immediate patch up of their friendship, it was a start.

“So how are things? I saw the news.” The raven haired boy asks as they stare at each other, noting changes here and there. “Florres won.”

“Yeah, she did. People decided change needed to be given a chance. She’s mild, but she’ll need to be strong to keep her promises. She has potential.”

“Well if the footage of the riots is anything to go by, I think she’ll be desperate to prevent being on the receiving end of that.” Kaito mused, but the way he looked at her said there were unsaid things.

“And how are you?” he went with.

“Depends. There’s a lot of things happening all at once. I think I should give you full disclosure that technically I may or may not be a Brigade…” Zoe starts off and the look Kaito gives her is frozen in the shock. It’s not mouth open, jaw on the floor but the way his eyes nearly pop out of his skull and he whispers “you fucking what?” certainly say something.

“You were right K. The government were lying the whole time. It was the only way I’d have the means to get the story out there!”

“You could have gotten hurt or worse.” Kaito harshly reminded her. “You’re not indestructible.”

“Maybe! But if it meant other people didn’t have to say goodbye to their loved ones, it was worth the risk!” Zoe slammed her hand on the porch floor. “The worst thing I ever did was not saying goodbye to you and I’m not letting anyone else go through that.”

The eighteen year old watched her backpack topple onto its side, the trombone and skates tied to it made a noise. Her friend? Ex-friend? Best friend? Looked at the stuff with something akin to yearning. It had be a while since he skated around.

“You know, the field over there isn’t too sandy.” Kaito stood up and walked behind him into the room. For a few minutes, Zoe wasn’t sure what he was planning until he came out in plainer clothes with his board tucked under his arm.

“Bear in mind, I’m a little out of practice.” Kaito quickly defends, and Zoe’s relieved. “But is now the time for skating?” she’s hesitant to say all is forgiven just yet.

“Was it ever the time for skating back there?” he shrugs. “…unless someone’s out there chasing you?” he eyes her and she shakes her head. Most- if not all- authorities are too busy trying to gain public forgiveness or repair the extensive damage of the past three weeks of rioting.

“Unpack your stuff and let’s go!”

.

Not all has been forgotten or forgiven, but it’s one step at a time.

.

It’s coming to the end of the summer of 1999 when the Chen family make a huge decision to leave the motel and head further up. They’ve made some good memories in this small unassuming area and found many an interesting store in the town up ahead, but they’re ready to spread their wings and fly.

Arlene sits them down in her backroom office to say goodbye. A litre bottle of some flavoured water and some crisps are in a little carrier bag that she shuffles over to them. “You three have been real good company here, I’ll miss y’all. You promise to take care, you hear me?”

Anzu smiled and takes her hand to shake it. “We will. Thank you, for everything you’ve done for us. We truly can’t thank you enough.”

Arlene waves her hand. “Nonsense, you just be sure to live a happy life however you can. Don’t go becoming assholes though; I’ll never forgive you for that.” She cackles. She knows they’re good people at heart. This world ain’t made to be easy if you’re too kind, but after what they’ve been through, she’s sure they’ll figure something out.

“As long as I’m here, this place will always be open for you. Just ask for Arlie.” Arlie is a nickname she let’s an absolute select few use. Most are Brigades but the people they send to her get to share that privilege if she sees fit.

(What she doesn’t mention explicitly is how she added a little extra to their final paychecks, nor does she mention the post it note with her number on it. A smile is scrawled in the bottom corner and a tiny ‘be safe!’ written with it. She really wants them to do well, as she does all who are sent to her).

.

Kaito asks Arlene to let Zoe know that they’re leaving. He’s not sure where though.

.

“Yeah, the baby birds are finally flying the coop.” Arlene feels like a mother hen watching her kids move out. “Kaito wanted me to let you know that much. Somewhere beyond here. He’ll figure it out.”

.

It’s early the next morning when the family have their boxes and bags filled and they make their way out of the parking lot. There’s a gas station in the little town up ahead, so they stop there to fill up the car and extra gas can they have in the boot. Mount National is further behind them than it was before. Daw keeps driving. The family decided that they’ll stay in one of the towns further on their journey.

The place itself is within the Western Sea side of the map called Anamesa. It’s a fair distance away from the seaside town of Thalassa; so the cost of living isn’t too bad. Not as cheap as the motel afforded them, but you could see something for what you spent.

They live in their car while paperwork is sorted out for the little two bed house they choose.

It’s a humble house, in need of some care though. The back garden is covered in weeds and dandelions, inside the paint is chipped in places and the only furnishings remaining of the old tenants in the house are the wardrobe in one bedroom, a dull white washing machine and a brown leather sofa that creaked when you sat on it. (They definitely did not get their deposit back).

But this is their fourth home. And they love it already.

(Daw finds a phone booth a few roads away and calls the number on the now found note to wish Arlene well and let her know they’re settling in as best they can).

.

Finding work takes some time, so they try to get many affairs sorted like opening bank accounts, getting registered to vote in the area and all that. The phone booth did not know what hit it. They live very frugally for the time being until some full time cleaning jobs open up and Anzu and Daw go for them. Arlene giving them both a glowing set of references when she receives the call from the employment agency, practically tells them they’re lucky the Chen’s want to work for them because they were so good to Arlene’s business.

The probation period of the job lasts three months, so the duo make sure they’re present on time at every shift, even if the hours they’re away from home are very long. It’s somewhat lonely for Kaito who uses his sudden free time to sort out things at home like clearing the back garden and trying to find his own feet, searching through numerous newspaper ads for what this place has to offer.

As of December 1999, that is working as a kitchen porter for a fast food place.

It’s then in the Friday newspaper in January of 2000 when Daw mentions to Kaito that he saw an ad in a paper detailing how to apply for GED examinations. His mother and father have a high school education and they wanted to make sure he had as much of a foundation in life as he could.

They didn’t tiger parent him about it, but did express they’d never been able to forgive themselves for being the reason Kaito dropped out when he had a good head on his shoulders and could use it. Kaito doesn’t argue with them, but he does try to dilute their feelings of guilt by mentioning how the school was probably going to close anyway after the Vice Principal was arrested for having Brigade affiliations.

(It’s true. Well, except for the school closing. Tyrak just dumped a heap of his goons there to make sure people kept silent about any anti-government slander. Everyone hated everyone there. Who knows if the place does even still exist by now).

So Kaito does as the newspaper says. His mom got a landline phone with the first paycheck she got for that month and he calls the number to register his interest. He’ll need to take a couple tests so they can determine if he would be eligible for the programme with any chance of passing at the end. Hopefully work won’t be arses about him needing to switch his hours. (They kind of are, but they don’t fire him so he guesses it’s a win?)

Daw used his pay on the monthly rent and the utilities while Anzu focused on things like necessities and getting their house slowly done up. Kaito would often buy some bits of food, but his parents urged him to make sure he was saving bits away (and had any necessary text books he’d need for his studies).

Kaito passes his pre-study exams and is accepted onto the programme. The cost of the programme is not at all as daunting as he’d imagined it to be, but he dips into the small savings fund he’d assembled from his motel cleaning wages, promising himself to put it back over the year.

The library is an hour away, so Kaito decides to get all the books he can in the one sitting and gets a library card sorted while he’s there. (He’s amazed at how real the fake IDs are and wonders whether Robert had some dirt on someone in the profession. Even the birth certificates are frighteningly real… though the fact the only differences on them to his genuine documents is the family surname and very minor details is funny to him in some respects).

Maybe he ought to consider some home workouts. The books were heavy, but the librarian was at least 20 years older than him and wielded them without fuss.

.

One year passes and by the time it’s May of 2001, not only does Kaito pass the GED examinations, but his Walkman kicks the bucket after four years of faithful use. Mp3 players are coming into the market, but their price tag are a little steep for his liking, so he finds a little shop on the high street and gets a second hand one for $90 dollars. (It lasts a year and a half).

Thankfully, some other things the Chen’s have acquired over that time are lasting way longer. The dressers and the bed bases are holding up well, as is the TV. Pretty much all of their furniture is from a charity stores around the town, the only exception to the rule is the mattresses on their beds. Anzu never trusted second hand fabric focused upholstery because of how easily germs could settle inside it and you wouldn’t know.

It’s why all their furniture can be wiped or in the very least is water resistant.

Daw and Anzu work early mornings and sometimes a few hours in the evenings, so they don’t have forever to sit around and take in the sights, but one of the rare times their rota means they work bulk hours over a few days, they use their time off to sit in the garden with a couple cheap beers in hand and watch the sun slowly dip down over the hours. Today, they decide that the day can be lazy. Dinner isn’t anything huge, just a bowl of pasta and sauce.

Kaito returns home from work with some fries from work and for some reason, a handful of the little toys usually included in the kid’s meals.

“They just looked goofy.” He shrugs. “And they were getting rid of them because of the new theme or something.”

The little toys sit on his windowsill in the corner and remain there for many years to come until Kaito takes his own next step in life and moves into a little studio apartment.

.

As more years pass, it’s soon May 2006. Ten years since they fled Petria.

Anzu and Daw remain working with the agency that hired them in ’99, however they move house as one closer to some hiking fields becomes available. Kaito goes from kitchen porter to hotel receptionist for a small chain. The hours are slightly under full time, but it gives him enough to pay his bills, he has some small tattoos too. Nothing major- just lineart of Mount National on his left clavicle and a skateboard on his inner arm.

He has a few friends too; or at least people he talks to enough. They’re kind. He doesn’t tell them a great deal about himself other than things he’s learned about himself post-1996 and that his family moved there after finding themselves in awe with the fields. It’s partly true.

He gets a TV, a Playstation 2 and a mobile phone (though to be fair, he gets them on a monthly credit pay back plan so it’s not a huge chunk of luxurious spending in one go). He gets Arlene’s phone number from his family so he can call her, because he’s mature enough now to independently put into words his gratitude to her and to John. The number still leads to her, her voice is heavy with smoking and age, but the smile in her voice is just as prominent as it was years ago. She’s happy to let Kaito know that Mr Ursus found love in his life. She also mentions a few things she’s learned over time.

“I think I got a couple years left here before I try fly the coop, if I’m bein’ honest with you.”

“For real?”

“Yeah. Florres seems to be doing okay enough at her job; Petria isn’t as huge a shitshow nowadays. It still has a lot of progress to make, but democracy is doing its best. I ain’t movin’ down there though. Been there, done that- got the t-shirt. I wanna see what life’s got to offer elsewhere.”

Arlene is smiling on the phone as she looks at a few leaflets she has for different places to visit beyond the border. People come and go out of this place, they want to see the Petria of the news stories or they’re finally visiting away from there. She’s got a good team of people. She’s thinking of turning ownership over to her night shift lot, maybe expanding this place to other areas. Who knows?

Kaito runs a hand through his shorter hair and inhales through his teeth to ask “Have you heard from Zoe?” last they saw each other was when they both ran into the plains opposite the motel to skate. Kaito still has his board too. Sometimes he regrets not continuing using it, he’s pretty sure his balance is shot to shit and he’d fall if he tried to use it, but he keeps it as a memory.

On a plus side, he knows for a fact he could carry those GED textbooks without complaining if the situation called for it.

“A while back. She sounds well in herself. I can pass along your details to her if you want. She’s probably travelling at the moment.”

Kaito nods. “That’d be nice. Thanks.”

“Don’t sweat it kid. You keep yourself well, pop down here if you can. We still got some good cola.”

“Aha, I’ll try. I won’t promise though. But if you do decide to go travelling, come up to Anamesa. We got good beers here.”

“Oh my god. You’re still a baby, why are you drinking?”

“I’m 26.”

“You’ll always be a baby to me.” Arlene pauses. “Keep yourself well Kaito. Your parents are proud of you. I hope you’re proud of them.”

“I am. I really am. Thanks. See you later!”

“Good. Take care!” Arlene hangs up.

.

A month later, Kaito receives a text message.

‘It’s Zoe! Call me!”

And he does. And he hears how the years have deepened her voice slightly, but her experiences have humbled it.

They decide to meet up that week.

.

And when they do, there’s an explosion of emotions. They talk and laugh and smile. They go see a movie, they go out for a meal, mobile phones allow them to take photos so easily and they have fun pulling stupid faces into the tiny lens, hands twisting awkwardly so the camera can actually focus on them.

She offers to stay in a hotel so she can stay in Anamesa a while longer, but he offers her his apartment. So they get some snacks and drinks and they act like the apartment is their old construction yard hideout. Kaito has a few games so they hook them up and joke about things and it’s all just amazing.

Zoe thinks that they needed to be adults to be able to do this, that the pain of their parting ways was too fresh in the 90s. Time didn’t erase what happened; it just put a few things into perspective.

Her style has changed slightly again. Her hair remains shoulder length and loose, but she also has some blonde highlights in her bangs. She still has her eyebrow piercing and the numerous ones in her lobes, all adorning purple earrings; however the addition of a new nose piercing is also noticed.

Kaito knows she has more tattoos, though the only bit he’s seen to indicate that is a few stars he saw on her lower arm. She’s long abandoned her full on ripped alien top- punk skater girl look and gone for a white tank, blue denim jacket and green ¾ khakis.

Kaito wouldn’t particularly say his own sense of style was all that different from his youth, granted he owned more formal clothing now (shirts, and a couple trousers and a blazer). Most of his clothes were plain black for his job, but outside of that, he was mostly a comfortable clothes kind of guy. And none of them had holes in them.

They’re playing one of the Street Fighter games and Kaito is getting his ass kicked for the fifth time in a row when he makes a request.

“What if we went on a road trip?”

“Hmn?” Zoe’s turned to him but is still button mashing and Kaito considers knocking it out of her hand so he can land a few hits in. He chose not to because of maturity and shit, but he pauses it and that’s just as good.

“You know, rent a car and go out on the roads for a week in summer. See what else there is to this place?” last time he said something similar was in relation to escaping Petria, but this idea is about enjoying life. Making memories. His life here is amazing, but he wants to see more things.

Zoe seems to take a few minutes to ponder the idea and Kaito regrets even asking until the woman asks if he can drive and if he has the time. Because while she personally does, what with working as a freelance travel writer and pretty much funding her life with the savings fund she’d transferred into an entirely separate bank (the privilege of her rich upbringing, she’d not lie); it feels only fair for her to check he’s in a comfortable position to do so.

“I have plenty of remaining hours. Only have a few days booked for use so far.” He shrugged.

Zoe nodded wordlessly as she considered the idea. She vaguely remembered the last time Kaito had said something similar back in White Sands, back when it had been hidden with the intention of fleeing a terrible place.

“Zoe?” Kaito quietly asks and she blinks a few times, straightening her back before her expression relaxes and she nods at him. “I don’t think I can say no to that.” She smiles, holding up her can of beer for a toast. And as the night continues on, Kaito offers her his bed but she opts for the sofa. He has an early start the next morning, but finishes after lunch so they can talk about other stuff when he gets back.

.

Zoe was awake when Kaito left out for work at quarter past five. Leaving his keys on the side after unlocking the door, he waves her a “later Z!” and she returns it with a “later K!”

.

The sun was bright even at its early rising, the heat wasn’t yet unbearable. And as Kaito sat on the bus to work, he truly felt like he had what he’d yearned for most in life.

.

A lot of elements of this are based on Google searches for things that were applicable to America in the specific years I mention during this story. I may not have all the details correct, so I apologise for any mistakes I may have made.

I didn’t know whether their new IDs would change their names completely, partially or just different details instead, so I chose to only change the family surname, any other details that could/would be changed are down to your interpretation.

Arlene was not a character I thought I’d write about in this as much as I did, but she grew on me.

In respect to Thalassa and Anamesa; I searched Petria’s meaning online and the first result I got said it was the Greek word for ‘rock’. Following that, I decided to find the word for ‘sea’ (thus Thalassa and it being a seaside town) and Anamesa is noted as an adverb meaning ‘between’ (and I wanted it to be placed in between a bunch of other towns/cities).

Also an extra I wanted to include but Kaito definitely got his tattoos done by an apprentice artist (based entirely on my first tattoo being done by an apprentice).

Maybe things have been unrealistic in this story, but I love happy endings. I’m not the best writer out there, but I had a lot of fun writing this. It became way longer than I had in mind but it is what it is.

[rottenbrainstuff]

BG3 playthrough: Last Light Inn

Spoilers below the cut

HOOOOOOO it’s my tiefling buddies from act 1!

…some of them!

………a very, very small amount of them.

Goddamn I was so happy to see them, smiled so wide to see those kiddos there, but SO sad to see what happened, and see how few of them were there. Dammon seems undaunted, the kids are making the best of a bad situation (Mol I take my eyes off you for one minute and you are making a deal with a GODDAMNED DEVIL), but fuck me, Bex crying by the bridge broke my heart, and Rolan being a dick at the bar made me so sad as well. I wonder if people dislike him because of how rude he is being here? Like, he’s literally calling me names and blaming my tav for things that aren’t my fault at all. But it didn’t make me mad at him - it only made me more sad. He’s totally drunk and angry and blaming me for things that don’t even make sense, because he’s so upset about his siblings. The more it doesn’t make sense, the more sad it is. Poor guy. I know he told me to fuck right off when I said I would save them, but I mean it, I will. I love Rolan. He’s such a fucking idiot. That’s my type I guess, idiot men who have no idea how fucking lame they are.

I’m really sad that Alfira isn’t here: it seems she would have extra dialogue about what happened to them on the road, some horrible details about what happened to poor Asharak, and exactly how Rolan and his siblings saved the kids. And it seems talking to HER gives me a little extra dialogue options for when I talk to other people. Ah well. Dark urge sacrifices.

As mentioned, Mol is already waist-deep into more trouble, and she’s considering making a deal with Raphael. What an interesting conversation this was. I tried to warn her off and she said, but no one is helping them. She is going to protect her kids no matter what she has to do, and if she has to make a deal to do it, then that’s what she’s going to do. I thought to myself, god, that sounds exactly like Zevlor. THEN, the very next thing she says, she mentions Zevlor, how he froze, and how she is going to do better. I’m sure the game did that on purpose, I’m sure that writing can’t be a happy accident. NO MOL NO. No deals with literal devils.

The conversation here between Raphael and Astarion is super super interesting, I think. Astarion can sound suave when he’s doing a seduction, but here more than anywhere else I’ve seen so far, it’s really evident this is only because of the practice he’s had. Talking to Raphael, it’s obvious he’s nervous, halting, even whining. 10 cha boy, truly. I love it.

The strange ox is in the stable outside. Dark urge has some options to talk to the ox and realize it has the same horrible murder fantasies that you have. It’s startling for sure but I don’t think it has anything to actually do with the dark urge: as far as I’m aware, the only thing that’s up with the ox is that it’s a shape-shifted ooze hiding out, right? Are oozes really just that murderous??? I was showing a friend of mine the ox scene, and wanted to aggro it to show them what the ox really looks like. I picked a dark urge option instead of the normal aggro option and…. wow. Dark urge isn’t playing around, huh. We were both surprised, lol. I’m playing a resisting durge so I hadn’t actually done one of these scenes before, lol. If you say the right things, the ox will be pleased with you and… hork up a gem. Thanks?...

This area is crappy. It just feels bad. Like, not even just the shadows, but the ground itself is all broken up and off-kilter. I now have, like, four different tasks to do, and I have no freaking idea what I want to do first. The first thing I guess is to decide how I want to get to moonrise… go with Kar’niss and the goblin caravan, or ambush them? I want to go with Kar’niss so I can meet up with him later at the top of the tower, but if I do that, I’m going to be stuck at the tower without a lantern for a while and I’m not really wanting to do that either…. Sigh. Not sure.

Fun note - my daughter who is also playing just got to the gith creche. She is really committed… for some reason… to playing a character who doesn’t really want to be nosy about investigating in other people’s property, or about stepping in and interfering where she is an outsider. Play the game how you want, I guess, but end result of this that she just stood back in the gith classroom and let Varrl get knifed, thus killing one of my favourite NPCs. I was…. Surprised…. With her choice. Lol.

I was also wanting to see what her thoughts were after talking more with the guardian. I wanted to know if an unspoiled player would think the guardian had something to do with, or perhaps even WAS, somehow, Orpheus. But, she mistrusts the guardian so badly that this thought apparently didn’t even cross her mind. So that’s interesting. She ended up stabbing the guardian, lol.

I still don’t know what I’m going to do next here. Sigh. Maybe I’ll explore around and do some of the small stuff, need to go save Rolan’s foolish ass, and then decide what to do about moonrise?…

[hyumjim]

I completely agree that the bg3 character storylines are VASTLY more interesting than the main overarching plot. Astarion + Karlach are some of the best written characters I have seen in games. That being said, even their storylines have their imperfections (like, what oomf was talking about, how they released the game with Karlach’s romance kinda half-finished?). The other most interesting character, in my opinion, is The Dark Urge… whom the player is specifically advised to avoid playing as in their first playthrough, meaning you’re supposed to play through this REALLY LONG GAME once before you even get a chance to meet this character. I wish they’d incorporated Durge in a way that didn’t make this an issue, because I think the game is so much more fun with them in it, and I feel like I missed out for many hours of my initial playthrough(s).

Additionally a gameplay gripe: you reach max level WAY too early in act 3, even when playing on tactician. I feel this could have been remedied fairly easy just by making some changes to the experience point system. As it is, there is literally an unceremonious end to leveling progression when you’ve got potentially 100 hours of game content left, and it feels stale pretty quickly, especially for a game that wants to be replayable…

Even now, months after release and countless patches later, there are still quests that are bugged to the point of making no sense. This is just one example, trust me there are more like it, but the one that leaps to mind is the act 3 painting quest, where a big to-do is made about having a custom painting done of your character, and when it’s done you have to drop it on the floor to actually look at it (lol) and then it is just a copy of the in-game portrait of literally a random party member. In my case, I had each member of my party go to get their own portrait, and I received 4 copies of Gale. This is really weirdly clumsy and immersion-breaking, and particularly sucks when you have a huge opportunity because you’ve got a character (Astarion) who hasn’t been able to see himself for 200 years and remarks upon that several times in the game… there’s not one but TWO opportunities for him to see himself, through this painting quest and also the statue you can purchase. And neither of them prompts any sort of reaction from him, The Guy Who Would Like To See Himself. That may seem like a minor fan gripe, but it is weird, immersion-breaking, and… just strange that apparently no one thought of it? imo. Just another thing that adds to the feeling of unfinishedness that pervades this game, especially the third act. It’s a game I’ve gotten hundreds of hours out of, but it has a frustrating lack of polish that it’s strange to see glossed over again and again, and it’s strange to see it awarded with GOTY, I have to admit.