#istg i have an angst addiction

[rhiaarrow]

I've seen ppl talking abt it on twitter and here and I wanted to sort of contribute my thoughts towards it,

Ppl aren't 'forgetting' about qTubbo's death. It's just that the situations of qBad and qTubbo's deaths, while they had the same outcome, were completely different for multiple factors.

(This isn't targeted at the ppl who think the death is being overlooked because that's their analysis and it's totally fair. It's just that people saying that got my analyst brain drawing comparisons between the deaths and I ended up with this big wall of text so...yeah :') )

1 - The build up (from outside POVs)

With qTubbo from most Povs he just sort of... died with no clear build up. Most ppl didn't see the true extent of his self spiralling because he hid it or they just simply didn't spend a lot of time with him in order to pick up on the stuff that we the viewers picked up on. And then all of a sudden he just died with no obvious lead up (unless you watch his pov in which case there was an obvious lead up) but from outsiders who barely saw him, it just happened.

Whereas

With qBad there was a more obvious build up on other Povs, he told the ppl he loved he was dying or at least they knew that something was wrong. They knew that his death was inevitable and as much as they hate to admit it a lot of them had already come to terms with the fact that he would be gone soon. (Again unless you watch his pov the whole build up from the past few months is less obvious but it was more developed with other players before his actual death) Most Povs at least recognised that there was something wrong with the blue spreading across his face because well...it was pretty fucking obvious

2 - The way they told people

qTubbos "I'm an egg, I only have one life left." while true sounds like a joke because well... he's obviously not actually an egg. Ppl joke abt stuff like that the whole time, the Eggboyhalo joke for example or calling Foolish 'egg coded' early in the server. How were all players meant to immediately go 'ah yes, this player is definitely an egg. Yesyes, this makes perfect sense'. It's easy to see how it wasn't taken seriously by a lot of characters when only a few of them were ever given an actual explanation besides "yeah I've only got one life"

Whereas

qBads "I'm fine, don't worry about me." while actively coughing up a lung, covered in blue infection and regularly having memory issues is an obvious lie. Even if people only saw him for a couple of minutes or even seconds it was pretty damn hard to ignore the blue spreading on his body. They'd ask what it was, he'd try to avoid it or redirect them and that person was hit with an immediate red flag of 'oh, so something is wrong with Bad.' which most shelved away and didn't actively investigate but it caused many characters to express being worried about him

3 - Outward visibility

qTubbo died due to his internal issues; self doubt, lack of self worth, suicidal tendencies, etc (I feel bad writing etc but I know there were other factors I just can't remember them) which resulted in him chosing to live using the life system and later chosing to gamble his last life in a game of Russian roulette with Richas.

(None of this being clearly outwardly visible to bystanders even if he wanted them to notice)

Whereas

qBad died due to external issues; parts of his soul physically leaking out of wounds on his body which caused his body to degenerate so far that even as an immortal he couldn't hold on and stop his corporeal body from just giving out on him and forcing him to reset.

(Which was very clearly outwardly visible despite how much he tried to hide it)

4 - The methods of their return

(Honestly I think this part is what's making ppl think that qTubbo's death is being 'ignored' compared to qBads)

With qTubbo, Creation told them that in order to 'restore' him they need smth that they CANNOT craft. Creation did not elaborate further, so they have very little to work with/very little they can actually do in order to try and help him. So most players while they have expressed they want to help, they know that if they do try to help they'll be running at brick walls because they just cannot obtain what is needed and they need to just wait for Creation to show up again.

Whereas

With qBad they know he'll be back (because he's a demon and that's just how they work) and they know what they have to do. They have to wait and be patient when he does return because he might not remember them and he'll probably need pictures to remember. He told them all of this before he died.

On one hand you have qTubbo: Wait for a prompt from Creation or an NPC to help them craft the item to get him back

On the other you have qBad: Wait for him to come back on his own terms

And for the people used to Bad providing a metaphorical example to prove his point in a clearer manner;

When playing a video game you have more hope when waiting for a loading wheel to stop spinning so you can play the level, than you do looking at a level blocked behind a currently unobtainable paywall :/

In other words, dwelling on things you don't know how to fix sucks ass and no one likes thinking about it until they have a tangible idea for a solution and right now only one of the two deaths has an even remotely tangible solution even if it is just to wait and do nothing.

(I understand that ppls reactions to qBads death have seemed more proactive than qTubbos right now but today was the first qBagi and Em learned of him actually dying so it makes sense that today was sort of centered around that. Tbh it just sucks that qTubbo died on an event day bc I feel like if he didn't we would've got a lot more focus and angst out of it but what can you do. But also it's seemed a lot more proactive because qBads kids are actively searching the server for him for 3-4 hours a day which is just depressing as hell, kudos to Pommin and Dapmin for pulling that off :') )

Wall of text over!

Have a flower for your troubles, after all our cubitos have done to us, I think we've earned some flowers without angsty connotations ;-;

❀❀❀❀❀

[pyrodolls]

sugar daddy! johnny cage x reader hcs

warnings: established relationship, gender neutral reader, slight angst if you squint

summary: sfw hcs of johnny cage being a sugar daddy in your relationship

a/n: howdy y’all. guess what. i wrote this outta nowhere cuz i saw someone thirsting for a sugar daddy johnny sooooo. here we are. i love writing this goofy goober hes so silly. sorry for all my late updates these days btw. ive had this in my drafts for weeks istg.

- dating a rich dude has its perks. like being spoiled 24/7!

- johnny doesn’t have a specific love language. but if he had to have one, it would be gift giving.

- it’s not *just* because he has the financial stability to do so, but he loves showing off his knowledge of your taste by giving you gifts catered towards your interests.

- if you ever happen to dislike something he got, even if you hid your disapproval, johnny would immediately notice and replace it. only the best for his beloved!

- he probably would notice right away if you didn’t like something. you don’t show it with your face, but he can just *tell* sometimes. it’s like a gut feeling to him. spidey senses, even. sugar daddy senses.

- “johnny, there’s no need to waste your time returning it. i like it, i swear!”

- “no you don’t. but no worries, honey. i’ll be back in a jiffy! i’ll come back with an even better gift. a gift so good, it’ll change your life! trust me.”

- if you ever mention that you like something, johnny would be searching for it in every store he enters and he would spend hours looking it up online. he wouldn’t just buy *all* the stuff he sees for you, he must find only the best of the best for you.

- let’s say you mentioned that you liked ducks one time. that night before going to sleep in your shared bed, johnny would turn away from you and he’d search all over the internet for anything with ducks on it. or a giant duck plush. you would try to look over his shoulder to see what he’s searching for, but he’d childishly wiggle his finger in front of your face and say “no peeking!”

- expect large packages to show up at your door every day. johnny loves online shopping, and you’d have to pry his phone away from his fingers to stop his addiction.

- 90% of the packages aren’t even for him. most of it is for you. clothes he thinks would look great on you and show off your body, accessories you showed the slightest bit of interest in, or cds/vinyl of your favorite artists (some are even signed, thanks to johnny’s connections.)

- he doesn’t want you to pay him back. johnny spoils you because he loves you. he is fully aware that he doesn’t have to. it’s just his way of showing that he loves you and he can provide for you for the rest of your life, if you’d let him.

- you don’t even have to lift a single finger! let him buy you clothes and food and other necessities, he loves doing so.

- no matter how badly you wish to pay him back, johnny would not let you. he doesn’t want you to pay him back as if it’s debt. all he wants in return is your affection and validation.

- he would never admit it, but he craves validation from you all the time. he lost his ex-wife because he was so caught up in the money and fame in his life, and he doesn’t want to repeat history. if he ever accidentally overwhelmed you with his job or money, he would feel extremely guilty about it. it’s pretty much his greatest fear.

- overall, johnny loves spoiling you. you’re such a sweet and precious thing, so of course he must treat you well! you deserve the greatest luxuries he can provide, whether you asked for it or not. if you ever ask for anything, don’t feel like a brat, he wouldn’t mind! in fact, he would love to grant your wishes every time you ask for a certain gift. if not, no worries. he can learn your likes and dislikes the longer you’re together, no need to tell him what you want. he’ll figure it out.

[toasternuggets]

Hello, me again. Your art is addictive istg (/positive). Anyways, I come baring a bit of angst, if you do not mind. It's kind of a headcanon but is canon related. So, Robert's side of the family grieving Hope? Because you can't tell me only John misses her. Maybe throw in some comfort if you want to make it a bit nicer, up to you! No pressure to do the whole family if you don't want to ofc. Idk thought I'd throw this out there; have a nice day! :]

Poor boys… :(

[mazzystar24]

I totally get I just finished my exam week (I had to do a math test at 8am Sat😭). Wish you luck tho!

Also do you have any good buddies fics? Destiel too?

Math test at 8am is BRUTAL

Thank you I will definitely need it😭😭

Unfortunately I only have buddie fics to offer😔:

(Warning I do like a fair amount of angst)

Right where you left me - by hyacinthusbloom ( @thebloomingheather on here) - when I say I might be as big a fan of this fic as I am of the show I MEAN IT, you do not even understand how much I love this fic or how obsessed I am with it, I have reread it so many times despite it still being in progress that I think I may genuinely qualify it as addictive, me and @estheticpotaeto legit wait for updates like a dog at the author’s door istg, like everything about this fic is flawless and written with so much love and emotion and the way the writer captures the effects of trauma is just amazing because it’s so rare to find this level of diving into ptsd and the more uncomfortable aspects of it that are more taboo or less understandable to people, like I can yap for an hour about this fic but I’ll just say READ IT

Any fic by daisies_and_briars ( @cal-daisies-and-briars on here) but one of my favourites of his is Both blade and branch and muscle memory and four can keep a secret and appetency and the two she’s writing right now (change the prophecy and steal my sunshine) -wow at that point I should’ve left it as any fic because that’s a lot of favourites😭😭

Any fic by @loserdiaz plus with them you get enough lighthearted fics to even out the angst

Ooo I’m not sure what their username on here is but lizzybizzyzz is also another writer who I just love their fics

Fractals by hobbitprincess - one of those fics that make you squeak at how much love these fictional characters have for each other

Beneath my mother tongue by archerincombat - the angst the writing the way they hit every single emotional beat? Amazing

Anything by this_is_moony_lovegood

Leave the light on (I’ll be coming home) by HMSLusitania - the presumed dead Eddie fic of your dreams, a constant reread for me it’s just 👌

Anchored by adorkable_buddie - sorry Chris you gotta be injured sometimes just for us to get our buddie dreams hope you understand and we appreciate your sacrifice 😔🫶

empty, broken, lonely, hoping by daniweb - when I tell you I love the presumed dead trope you best believe I’m telling the truth because the ANGST?? Yes please, LISTEN it’s the closest you can get to the emotional beats of killing off a character without ever killing them off because you love them and happy endings too much so TIM MINEAR TAKE NOTES I KNOW YOU SAID YOU LOVE THEM TOO MUCH TO KILL THEM, anyways back to to the point this fic again is just flawless execution by the writer like absolutely love it

every time we stop talking (the universe starts screaming) by withmeornotatall - emotional destruction and I absolutely love it, divorce era 2.0 and it HITS

Home is where it hurts- by rileyblue2001 - can you tell I hate the Buckley parents because I HATE the Buckley parents

The one with the return of the sex addiction by buddiefication (pumpkincreamcoldbrew) - I’ve reccomended so much angst so have a funny little light hearted buddie fic with the father bobby vibes we all love❤️❤️

Okay back to the angst tho 😭😭- out of ashes by Ashavahishta - AHHHHHHH THIS FIC JUST AHHHHH STOP THE WAY I WOULD DIE FOR A FOLLOW UP FIC TO THIS AHHHH I LOVE IT SM AND ITS LEGIT A ONE SHOT I CRIED SO HARD

Falling Slowly; Sing Your Melody (I’ll Sing It Loud) by Princessfbi ( @princessfbi on here who I also love sm of their fics so highly suggest just going on their page and looking through all the fics) - absolutely love it, legit gave me brain rot and got me obsessed for a GOOD while

I'm comin' back, don't let me go by wikiangela ( @wikiangela on here also love love their fics again so check them out but this one is probably my favourite of theirs)

Okay this is looking more and more like a uni reading list so I’m gonna shut up now but I hope you enjoy these fics and that a few of them emotionally damage you like they did me because I love to spread the joy (see: pain and suffering) 🫶🫶

[seattlesellie]

WTF ARE ANON TALKING ABOUT. every fucking fandom in this fucking world are writing smut bout the characters they simp for. why is it a problem for ellie. and, we are probably one of the most normal fandoms. we are all sapphics. i trust sapphics. let sapphics be fucking horny. let sapphics have and create their own smut. why is “sapphics writing smut” becomes “sapphics oversexualizing a character”. like wtf. r u assuming the writers are all sex freaks and have a porn addiction? THEY ARE WRITING SMUT. like all fucking fandoms do. i swear to u, us sapphics can lust over ellie while caring and loving her as a respected character. let ellie be both sexy and respected please.

if you’re talking bout her being fiction, u don’t gotta tell us that lmao we fucking KNOW. my goodness gracious. how can YOU say ellie would not do shit like. did she tell u that. you’re fucking delusional. we’re all fucking delusional. let sapphics be fucking delusional and have fun. don’t be a fucking boring person.

lastly, if you’re not interested in smut. don’t fucking read it. can’t believe that needed to be said. read other genres. if you want more fluff or angst, u can request to writers or write it ur own goddamn self. istg there’s more ACTUAL problems u need to be concerned bout rather than sapphics writing smut.

its the fact that you ate this anon i couldn't have phrased it better ! i don't know what's up with tlou fandom being so judgmental. i'll admit it ive never written or read fanfics for other fandoms but i have friends who do and they do not experience this at all !

[railingsofsorrow]

RAILINGSOFSORROW'S FIC RECS (0.2)

2nd part of the recommendation list from my fav fics! (i had to split in two because tumblr was being a nightmare) have it in mind that they can either be on tumblr or ao3.

the (+) means it has a smut masterlists: [0.1] [0.2]

↯

━━ OBX 

↬ little village by @thegreatestofheck (jj x routhledge!oc) 

best thing that's ever happened to me.

↬ whipped by @ptersparkers (jj x reader) 

↬ wake by @obxsummer (jj x reader) 

↬ aftermath by @maybaenk (jj x reader) 

↬ once a cheater... by @sl-ut (s.cameron x fem!kook!reader; t.thornton x platonic!reader) 

↬ lucky by @↑ (k.carrera x f!reader) 

↬ two of the same by @jjmaybud (k.carrera x f!reader) 

i, too, want to get married with kiara carrera.

↬ skin by @↑ (p.heyward x reader) 

↬ kie loves you... but you're not hers by @infictionalwonderland (k.carrera x f!reader; jj x f!reader)  

↬ angels like you by @cryonme (p.heyward x reader) 

↬ the 7 times he realises he loves you by @fandomtravels (I can't tag this acc :/ it's glitching) (r.cameron x reader) 

彡 

━━ MCU 

↬ one heart by @ichorai (tasm!single parent!p.parker x single parent! x reader) (major angst!) 

ok so I stumbled upon this while I was in class and I was bored so I thought let's give it a go until I get to go home. terrible idea because I was holding my cries, can you believe it? this fic stole my heart and it's so well-written, I don't think there's anything like it, it talks about loss and grieving in the most realistic way possible, I almost felt inserted into the story. plz go read it it will be so worth it.

↬ on thin ice by @leahsficemporium (peter parker x reader)

learning how to skate with peter <3

↬ like slow-slipping redemption by artist_artists (ao3) (tasm!p.parker × male mj) 

I don't understand how this one doesn't have more recognition. I was craving for a bi!peter fic and I found it's the best piece of work I've read, it played with my emotions and left me of the edge of my seat. it's set on a post-no way home universe and it features tasm!peter x male mj. it's a happy ending!!! plus it's not long, only 3 chapters.

↬ getting old by @kiss-inthekitchen (husband!tasm!p.parker x reader)  

↬ peter parker can't flirt by @curseofaphrodite (tasm!p.parker x marauder!reader)

it's a crossover btw marauders era + the amazing spiderman universe.

彡

━━ TVD/T.O 

↬ apotheosis by atriums (klaus mikaelson x reader) 

it's finished and it has a sequel called alkaline.

↬ familia supra omnia by IAMiniquity (poly!mikaelsons x oc) (currently being updated) 

the best thing I've read in the originals universe, spent less than month reading it and I keep craving for more.

↬ treading on thin ice by @fitzs-trained-monkey (kol mikaelson x reader)

they write the best kol fics istg.  

↬ wasteland, baby! by trustsalvatore (kol mikaelson x oc) 

incomplete since 2020 :(((

彡

↬ coming home by @acourtofwhatthefuck (azriel x reader) (series)

━━ MISC 

↬ troublemaker by @itsapeterthing (druig x avenger!reader)  

I will tell you one thing: I wasn't into a court of thorns and roses until I stumbled upon this one. yk when the writing grips you and chains you in a way that you can't leave? that's what happened to me. I was so addicted I read this whole series in three days at most. then I proceeded to read all of their work, you should do the same, you won't regret it it's so good. 

↬ resident healer by @15-dogs (newt scamander x reader)  

↬ no one knows by @pillow-titties (billy russo x reader) +

↬ no one knows p.2 by @↑ + 

↬ by your side by @alaynes-writings (paul atreides x reader)  

↬ stormy nights by @marvelmusing (aleksander mozorova x reader)  

[chryblossomjjk]

bts fic recommendations | 01.25.23

→ hi friends! this is a little segment i do every tuesday (reviewsday get it, aren’t i funny, pls tell me how funny i am) where i read and review two-three fics. as a content creator, i know how big of a role other creators play in your growth, therefore, i want to do my part in making sure everyone gets the recognition they deserve! so with that being said, please check out the amazing fics listed below. make sure to like, reblog, and leave feedback! ♡ #reviewsday #kikirecs

scent of eager suds - @rkivian (knj x reader | smut, angst, pwp, fluff)

summary: you missed each other, too fucking much. but your head had stayed down in futile hopes of remaining stubborn, forgetting that there is a wedding ring on that tricksy little finger of his for a reason.

so..... genuinely convinced you are the reincarnate of shakespeare babe bc like:

"He would spend a considerably scant amount of time on such a task, yet fulfil it so thoroughly that the constant aching between your legs seemed more equitable than you would like it to be."

LOOK WHAT YOU DO WITH WORDS!!! like everything is so precise. i can tell there's so much thought put into every single word of this piece and woah.. the writing is fucking stellar, seriously. like just the words you use throughout this displays how the reader feels about being vulnerable with joonie: cruel, vengeful, venomous. u put pwp but like you characterized the fuck out of this reader and it's so good...

also... this is thee kim namjoon. like as someone who is v much similar to the reader and self sabotages relationships, ppl who love you enough to recognize that trait and do their best to prove u wrong

AND YOU DID THAT ALL THROUGHOUT THE FLITHIEST NASTIEST SEXIEST SMUT EVER PLS HE'S SO HOT LIKE HE TRULY JUST WANTS TO MAKE HER FEEL GOOD INSIDE AND OUT AND IM GATEKEEPING HIM!!!! this was so so so beautiful and thank you for sharing with plebeians like me :') <3

the one where jin is drunk off his face and you get friend-zoned - @indgio (ksj x reader | fluff, crack)

saf everything you write just comforts my soul. it's missing jin hours around these parts and this is exactly want i needed. i don't know how to explain it but this gives me run episode vibes? like... this is legit kim seokjin. I COULD TOTALLY PICTURE HIM DOING SOME SHIT LIKE THIS LMAO WHAT A SWEET BABY!

also love this oc fr. like from the opening paragraph i could already tell she's the most adorable, most precious being, and you proved it throughout the rest :') <3 taking care of ur drunk partner trope will never not get me and you did it so splendidly ugh will definitely be coming back to this when im sad and 3am and missing my seokjin :'( thanks for this ily <3

"tell me more about this girlfriend of yours."

but jin looks at you with a frown, as he downs the water. "no. get your own."

^also for whatever reason this took me tf out lmao

the one where jungkook will always protect you, even from the fictional - @indgio (jjk x reader | fluff, humor)

bby istg your writing is so... refreshing? like i always think i need these super crazy, convoluted, heavy plots for my fics to be good, but your writing is proof that doesn't have to be the case. your writing is so effortless, yet so beautiful. like once again, genuine comfort content that i don't see too much of anymore. going through your masterlist has really inspired me to take a new avenue, because your fics are just so fucking addicting. i just love the slice of life vibes so much uGh okay enough nutting over u and onto the fic sehfbjsehbdhwb

pov ur saf in my brain BC THE AMOUNT OF TIMES IVE DAYDREAMED ABOUT THIS EXACT SCENARIO IS MENTAL ILLNESS (was just picturing binge watching AOT w him :'))

this jungkook is such a golden retriever ass boyfriend my heart can't take it. the banter ?? the protectiveness ?? THE BITING THE EAR ??? naur im in love it's settled. adding him to the list of fav jungkook portrayals on tumby. will be thinking about him when im bored in the back of my lecture tomorrow. thank you for daydream fuel &lt;3

stfu yes it's wednesday get off my back >:'( i posted this early last week and was just trying to even the timing out that's all... im lying. anyways, love u lmao

[uh-niran-really]

I'm back again..i swear i fill up your asks box too much! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) Forgive me 😔🙏

But i would like a fem reader x lw fic please 🛐

An almost break up scenario where reader gets tired of niran always being too busy to hang out with her but seemingly always have time for satya and is super flirty with her(reader knows hes flirty but she thinks its different whenever he says it to satya)

Niran begging for her to stay bc idk im sick and twisted like that 😭🙏

Fluffy-lemony ending pls where she gives him another chance and he takes her out on a super lovely date that ends with a steamy make out sesh in his car🤭🤭

Sorry this one isnt as detailed! Im cooking up another request bc im addicted to your writing istg😫���!!!

Fem Reader x Lifeweaver - Don’t break my heart

Content: Angst, Arguments, Fluff, Suggestive content at the end, but SFW

Word Count: 2,300+

A/N: I loved this one so much! I tried to make their argument believable when it came to Satya so I’m sorry if it’s not quite what you had in mind, but I think it would make sense given the nature of their relationship! <3 As always I hope you enjoy, and I apologise in advance for the tears lovely! It’s always such a delight to write for you!

“Why do you never have time for me!?”

“Y/N dearest, I try my bes-“

“No! You ALWAYS have time for Satya! We haven’t been on a date in two months Niran!!”

This whole argument started when Niran canceled on you for the sixth time in a row to help Satya with a project. It stung. You knew they were close, it didn’t bother you at first but now it’s like you are second best to her. Your own boyfriend chooses her over you almost every single time.

“I.. I’m sorry..”

��I don’t think this is working out Niran.”

“What do you mean by that?”

His face screamed fear. He was worried. Still he tried to look at it from another angle hoping and praying that you didn’t mean it like he thought you did. But you did…

“I think we should break up.”

“Oh baby no! Please!”

“You don’t love me Niran. It’s so obvious!”

Niran attempted to take your hands in his, to hold you close and tell you that you were his world. You however didn’t want him to touch you. This only hurt him further. He looked… devastated.

“I… I do love you… Y/N please.. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I do y-“

“You’re lying to me! I know you love Satya! Maybe not in a romantic sense.. but.. the way you talk to her and the way you prioritise her over me has been breaking my heart.. I’m sorry Niran but it’s over.”

“But I love you..”

Those four little words were enough to break your heart all over again. If only they felt true. You suspected that Niran probably did love you, but you couldn’t take the constant pain he put you through. He ALWAYS had time for Satya. ALWAYS.

“I don’t believe that anymore Niran.”

“Please hear me out!”

“I’m over it Niran.. Tell Satya I said hello.”

You turn to leave but he grabs your hand falling to his knees. He was incredibly saddened by your words but knew they were true. He pulled you close and rested his head against your tummy.

“Please don’t leave.. I.. I’ll try harder petal I promise you..”

“I don’t want you to try harder. I want to leave Niran.”

“I don’t want you to leave.. I don’t want Satya! I want you!”

“Sometimes.. I see the way you look at her.. and I think..”

You trail off, tears starting to form in your eyes. He looked at her like she was life itself. You knew Niran was a huge flirt, but with Satya it looked real.

“Tell me Tîi Ràk.. I can take it..”

“I think.. ‘He looks at her like she is his reason to live.. I wish he would look at me like that’..”

If heartbreak was an expression, he’d be showing it. He looked up at you with such sadness in his tear filled eyes, his lips slightly parted, quivering.

“Y/N I love you.. ONLY yo-“

“THEN WHY DO YOU CHOOSE HER!”

“She’s my best friend… I worry about her Y/N.. I love her of course I do, but it’s completely platonic.. I… I worry we’ll drift apart.. that one day she’ll feel abandoned again… I left her wãan-jai… I left her alone for eleven years.. I… I don’t want her to ever feel like that again… but… losing you over this… please… my heart can hardly take it..”

He clutched his chest, tears streaming down his soft features. He glanced down at the floor and wiped at his tears with his sleeve. He felt ashamed by it all. He had ruined your relationship over an irrational fear that to him was completely justified. Satya had suffered a great loss without him and he wouldn’t do that to her again.

“If I lose you now… Oh my darling.. I.. I can’t stand the thought…”

His eyes remained fixated on the ground, head hanging low. His hand slipped out of yours falling against the floorboards. He was crushed.

“Niran.. I don’t want either of us to hurt..”

“Am I a bad partner petal..?”

“No Niran.. I.. I just wish you would choose me for once..”

He sniffled, head lifting once more to look up at you. Then you saw it. That gorgeous look that he often gave Satya, yet somehow it was different. His eyes were full of love and adoration for you, yet he was all so sad.. He looked at you like you were his goddess.. like he was worshiping you..

“I’m sorry.. I.. I just worry.. I don’t wish to make this about her Kon Dii… really I don’t.. but.. before you go.. please hear me out.. I don’t want you to hate me..

You offered him a hand up, but he didn’t accept the hand up, too ashamed of himself to hurting you this way. Instead he placed your hand against his cheek, nuzzling into you. His tears turned to sobs. It hurt so much to see him like this.

“Satya has been… different.. She’s grown so much.. it scares me.. my reasoning for picking her has been for completely selfish reasons I’m afraid. Please don’t hold this against her Y/N she’s a good person. I… I just worry there will come a day where she doesn’t need me anymore.. and she leaves me behind.. like I left her.. I hold onto her because she reminds me of the mistakes I made.. and how I can never repeat them. But also happy times in our childhood.. I want you to know that I’m sorry.. and that I love you and that won’t stop.. I’m begging you.. from the depts of my broken heart.. please.. don’t leave me… I’m.. I’m nothing without you..”

His words felt so real. Honest. Maybe you had been a little hard on him. From the start you knew that he and Satya were inseparable. He had come clean about their history, telling you everything right away. You knew what they had was strictly platonic in every way, but it hurt that he picked her so often, but now you knew why. You drop to your knees and pull him into a warm hug.

“Don’t cry Bua.. please don’t cry.. I’m sorry for being so hard on you.”

He grips onto you and cries on your shoulder, the sound shattering your heart further. He had been going through so much pain and anguish. He didn’t blame you for being upset, you were right to be.

“I love you so much… I’m so sorry… Please don’t leave… I need you… I need you Petal.. I’m not strong enough without you..”

“I’m here Niran.. it’s okay..”

——🪷——

A few hours had passed and Niran was feeling a little better. You for the most part had forgiven him. He wasn’t a bad person, you were glad he explained himself to you, finally. He promised to take you out on a date. A lovely one that he promised you would enjoy.

“I just need to call Satya. I’m not bailing on you, I just think it’s time that I was open with her. I think she needs to hear how I feel.”

“I think that’s for the best love.”

Satya was highly confused as to why he even felt like that in the first place. Her first instinct was to actually laugh at him and call him a fool for assuming her intent.

“Honestly Niran you really are so hopeless! I don’t know how Y/N puts up with you!”

“Barely.” You laugh, teasing.

“You really should prioritise her more. I don’t have the time to entertain you daily. That’s what Y/N is for Niran. You’re with her, so you don’t have to bug me constantly!”

Niran smiles. She was right, of course she was. He felt a little better hearing his friend assure him it was okay. To anyone else she sounded hostile and cold. To him, she was telling him to not worry, and that he was silly for thinking he had to. He understood her better than anyone.

“I’m about to take her out on a date actually.”

“And I should think so too Niran!! Now please stop dragging me down with you, get a grip.”

“Love youuuuu!” He called.

She grunted and hung up on him, making him giggle. You smiled too. As things were you loved the man. He was a good friend and his concern for Satya made sense. He was worried that they were drifting apart again, and of course he would want to cling on to her. You decided to forgive him whole heartedly. He wasn’t a cheat, he hadn’t been intentionally hurtful, he was open and honest. He showed his vulnerability to you.

“Are you ready to go Pumpkin? You look… breath taking..”

Whilst he was on the phone to Satya you slipped on his favourite dress. One that had him swooning over you the first day you met. You had thrown your hair up into a neat bun, showing off your lovely collar bones.

“Thank you Bua.”

He offered you his hand and you walked down to his car. You delighted in the way he still opened the door for you every time. It was times like these you felt his love. It reminded you that things were different. Once inside the car he cups your cheek and kisses you. Nothing too wild, just a simple peck on the lips.

“Okay so now we just need to go pick up Saty- I’m kidding!!”

You playfully roll your eyes at him. Niran Pruksamanee, forever the tease. Still at least he was feeling better and you were too.

——🪷——

He took you star gazing. The night was warm and cozy. Sky as clear as glass with delicate stars dancing above them. He found a spot on top of a hill and scooped you lovingly into his arms so you didn’t have to walk up it yourself. His arms felt safe, warm. Niran had thought of everything. Blanket, food, wine. He even downloaded some romantic music on his phone. You sit snuggled up to him staring up into the star filled sky.

“I often look up at the sky when we’re apart.”

“Why’s that Bua?”

“You see the same stars I do wãan-jai. It’s comforting to think you look up when I do. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in the universe, that I have you.”

“That’s beautiful Niran.”

“Close. You’re even more beautiful than any star.”

He leans over and kisses you softly, which then turns steamy with you falling back onto the blanket, taking Niran with you. The warm air suddenly felt hotter and the sound of the gentle breeze gained the sounds of soft smooching of lips.

“I love you..”

“And I you.”

You spent the next twenty minuets laying beside Niran watching the stars twinkle, just enjoying each others company. You both needed this more than you realised. Spending time together was important for both of you.

“Look dearest, a shooting star! Make a wish!”

“I wish that no matter what, we promise to be open with each other. I wish us a long and happy relationship full of love, laughter, and romantic breath taking kisses!”

“I second that last part.”

You sipped wine and nibbled on the light snacks Niran made, chatting about good memories and silly times he had with Satya. You spoke about your own childhood and the happier times you had. You enjoyed each other’s company and the wine certainly helped you relax. Niran was responsible enough to not drink, wanting to be a safe driver, but he loved seeing you tipsy. It was quite the sight watching as your hands were all over him, trying to kiss every inch of his skin.

“Easy baby, we’re in public.”

“I just want a kissss!”

“I’d love a kiss from you my dear, though I fear your definition of a kiss and my definition of a kiss may differ right now.”

He was trying to be respectful not wanting to take advantage of you in your sweet tipsy state. He was all too happy to give you all the kisses you could ever want, he just feared that one kiss would turn into something akin to ripping each other’s clothes off. He never was that good as resisting you.

“Noooo!” You protested.

“Let’s get you back to the car my love. It’s getting late.”

He packed everything up and offered you a hand up before rolling the blanket away. You both looked up at the stars again, loving their soft illuminating hue, before heading back to the car. Just like before he carried you down the hill so lovingly in his arms whispering how much he loved you. How he wouldn’t change you for the world. Once inside the car you decided that you didn’t want to wait anymore and that you were tired of waiting.

“Kiss!”

“Oh my baby, are you demanding I kiss you?”

“Yes! Kiss!”

“You’re very cute when you drink dear, I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

“Kisssss!”

“Oh alright.”

He captured your lips in a hungry kiss. He too had been wanting to kiss you. It was quick but left you wanting more. You fumble, trying your best to lean over and kiss him again but cars were such awkward spaces. Still you managed, slipping onto his lap, straddling him. Your dress had ridden up to your thighs and he got the perfect view of your cleavage.

“Oh aren’t you just a treat.”

“The sweetest!”

“Mmmm I would have to agree with you darling. All for me.”

He leaned into your lips catching you so off guard with the kiss. His greedy hands holding your hips as his tongue roams your mouth. You tasted so sweet from the wine, felt so good against his body. So perfectly his.

You wiggled your hips softly teasing the man, earning a pleasant hum from his lips as he broke the kiss.

“Can you wait until we get home?” His eyes filled with burning desire for you. Your eyes were half lidded and your smirk was lustful.

“You have a back seat for a reason Niran.”

[saintobio]

hello babe!!!

howre you? i wish you a lot happiness!!!!

anyways, i wanted to say that i understand how yn has her heart sickness, because everytime i think about sn&sy, my own heart hurts a lot, even more so after the last chapter. ch 9 was so heavy and angsty that i cried and i don’t cry that much because my emotions have been numb. what’d you do? how can a normal person write that? i take multiple breaks reading these chapters and sometimes even my absolute addiction and temptation is unable to make me read them all at once.

it’s just so appreciable how you write so beautifully. i love reading your fics not just because of how well they’re written, but also because it makes me feel an intense pain, and i love that pain, i want that pain. that’s not me saying that i don’t want yn to be happy; because idc about gojo as much as i want yn’s happiness. she’s done some ‘not-so-good-things’, but she’s also been through such agonising times and she just deserves happiness at this point of life and for someone to choose her, to love her despite her flaws. and as much as i want gojoyn to be an endgame. it’s fine if they aren’t, because they’re both mature people and deserve happiness. i hate how gojo has treated yn in the past, but i’m also kinda impressed by how far he’s come. i understand him going for akemi, as much as i hate how he chose yn’s bff, but that’s understandable, (i’ve s family member who had a similar accident and after that brain damage, he’s not been the same person, and coming from that, i think satoru went for the person who took care of him the most.) i’m suicidal on behalf of my sweetheart yn. i just want her to be happy, and cared for in love. and i want someone to pick her. and on this heartbreaking journey towards a happy ending for them, i’m in for all the heart-wrenching angst and rarely heartwarming moments!

it pisses me off how akemi went for her bff’s ex husband and istg i hardly care about how she fell in love(?) with him, because babe your bff had a life and death situation because of that man, how can you approach him??? it doesn’t matter that she’s moved on, you still do not go for your bffs ex, that’s a girl code. she may be a good person (questionably so, but hey, im not a pious hermit either to be judging her.) but she’s a real bad friend. her guilt is questionable when she she asks for a family from satoru right after she feels bad about betraying yn. like at least give time for that guilt to fester. i’m sorry i’m ranting. these are my personal feelings. and i love for writing akemi. she’s a well written character, much more than many other characters that i’ve come across.

sera. my baby. my queen. i do not stand by what she did in sn, but goddamnit, i’ve always loved her and her dedication and her aspirations. she wasn’t always bad, and i’m sure had the fic from her pov, we would have liked her more. because shes hardworking, and headstrong and FUNNY. and i love how she stood by yn, and her character development has been so beautiful. she deserves sukuna so much. they’re both my babies. i love that she could get this in her life.

there will be a lot of errors in this ask, and please forgive me for them. i’m extremely tired. exhausted even.

till next time, babygirl!

💌🫶🏻

thank you sooo much, i’m kinda glad you can feel the pain through my writing bc i guess that means it’s effective ? :’D i write way too much angst to the point where i just can’t tell how angsty something is bc i’m alr so numb lol T-T

but aaaaaa ur description of sy!yn hits hard while i’m writing sy10. idek if a person can realistically have this much anguish in her life but i do share ur sentiment of wanting her to just be happy, even if it means she won’t end up with gojo in the end 🥹 it’s the idea of acceptance and letting go that just hurts so damn good. tysm, it’s such a good perspective to read!

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

YEAHHH IM GLAD YOU LIKED THEM!! allow me to send more your way: minne makes sure that tex wears sunscreen even though tex is convinced he doesn’t need it. he holds him hostage and gently and carefully puts it on his face before texas gives in and does the rest himself (unless he just lets minne do it). with minne being the “north star state” and tex being “the lone star state” there is no way they don’t have matching jewelry or knickknacks with star symbols on them (i believe when they get married they have stars on their rings). i think minne is easy to wake once asleep so texas is always very careful not to wake him, and the other way texas works hard and needs good sleep so minne makes sure to keep him comfortable and happy before bed, sometimes petting or massaging him to put him back to sleep if he didn’t get “enough” in his opinion. minnesota lock screen is him and tex and tex’s home screen is minnesota. if youre a austin separate truther like me, austin is babied and spoiled the shit out of by his dads (austin is also super happy that his dad found someone who is gentle, kind, and deeply values his dads happiness and comfort, he’s had it hard and now he gets to know peace and love and he loves to see texas really truly happy). texas teaches minne to ride a horse. texas watches intently as minne chops wood or throws axes. they go hunting together, maybe in the box one or both of them fall asleep. they go to the state fair together and they win each other prizes. i hope this helps your addiction! ^^

DEVOURED IM DEVOURING THIS THESE ARE AMAZING

I’m just picturing Minne holding Texas in a bear hug and trying to put sunscreen in him meanwhile Texas is squirming like his life depends on it 💀🙏 and then at one point, Texas just. Gives up squirming. And then Minne randomly says "You done yet?"

Them having matching star/star-related accessories is so fuckin adorable istg <3

TEXAS WOULD BE SO DAMN QUIET IN THE MORNINGS cuz he always wakes up first at the ass crack of dawn and he knows that Minne is a light sleeper

^minne always makes it a point to make sure that Texas is so comfy that he won’t get up in the morning and so that he sleeps longer. Hair pets, back massages, and blankets usually works.

They have lock screens of each other,…. Awwwwwwww 😭❤️🩷

Austin (and probably a few other cities) will get absolutely SPOILED by both parents. Texas more so. I have slightly angst reasonings for that :3

(^so basically Texas does basically anything his kids want cuz he wants them to be happy and have a better childhood/adulthood than he did with Mexico)

^Austin and the other kiddos are definitely happy that their Mama (they call him Mama okay-) found someone that’s kind and loving and caring <3

Texas teaches Minne how to ride a horse AND he actually teaches him some trickriding stuff since Minne seemed to be the first person he’s met that was interested in learning a bit.

Texas stares VERY respectfully and VERY heterosexually whenever Minne is chopping wood. Even more so whenever Minne isn’t wearing a shirt. Definitely. Very respectfully.

I personally think that Minne would be the one to hunt, and Texas would be the one to clean the meat and cook it

[lxkeeeee]

「⸙͎」 Vanilla | ✎ᝰKaedehara Kazuha x M! Reader | ᏪPrologue |

Genre: fluff

Tags: love at first sight because I'm a sucker for it, slight angst?, Long distance, perfumes, this was original gonna be smut but I think it'll end up as smut with plot??? In the future lmfao but for now it's still safe for work (SFW), Beidou best wingwoman frfr, I just bought a new perfume lately and it's vanilla scented and istg I'm addicted that's why I got an idea to write this.

Warnings: non male aligned dni, homophobes dni, third person point of view.

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧ ─────┈⊰᯽⊱

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧ ─────┈⊰᯽⊱

Kazuha as a wandering samurai, he was used to the scent of nature—the earthy scent of the bamboo forest of Qingce Village whenever he passes by, the salty smell of the ocean when he's traveling with the Crux. He also preferred the smell of nature it used to be his favorite—until he met a man of his age who goes by the name [y/n] [l/n].

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧ ─────┈⊰᯽⊱

It was a regular day at the Crux ship, awaiting for it's next cruise across the ocean, Kazuha's ruby red eyes fixed on the waves, his platinum blonde hair gently swaying against the wind. His hand held a single leaf, bringing it to his soft and pink lips before blowing into it—a soft sound emitting from it.

He gently lowered his hand that held the lead he once blew, a content smile on his face—he is happy, to have so many opportunities to see new things, to appreciate what nature gave him. The fresh yet salty smell of sea winds, it might be his favorite scent and he'll never get tired o-

His breath hitches as his nose caught a whiff of something sweet, is that the scent of vanilla?

That's how he met the Liyuean Business Man who goes by [Y/n] [L/n].

[L/n] was a friend of both Ningguang and Beidou, Beidou offered to let the man join her on her crux to sail back to Inazuma and which the man gladly accepted.

Kazuha watched as his captain, Beidou approached the well dressed man with a smile on her face. He chuckled as he watched the woman jokingly punch the man who was also chuckling to the female's antics. [Y/n] [L/n] gave a presence of authoritive yet approachable. Kazuha thought that [L/n] was an attractive man, he even looked the same age as him.

He watched as the two approached him.

"And this is Kazuha, you might've heard about him from Ningguang" Beidou says as he crosses her arms, [Y/n] turned to look at him and gave him a small bow and offered his hand for a shake.

Which Kazuha returned, Kazuha chuckled as he can't help but notice how soft the other man's hands are compared to his scarred one, "All good things I've hoped."

The business man just softly laugh.

"Ah, I've heard about him. Truly respectable man. To be able to block the infamous Mosou No Hitotachi is quite a respectable feat and to be able to assist the resistance. It's an honor to meet you."

"It wasn't much." He softly chuckles, which prompts the other male to jokingly roll his eyes.

"Please, don't say that." [Y/n] says while chuckling, "It is indeed a remarkable feat."

Beidou just chuckled as she slowly walked away from the two men as they talked, patting herself in the back for doing a good job playing cupid.

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧ ─────┈⊰᯽⊱

All throughout the journey towards Inazuma, the two men spent their free time talking and getting to know each other.

Kazuha found out that [L/n] was attending a meeting at the Kamisato Estate.

"You know Mr. Kamisato Ayato?" [L/n] asked as leaned against the walls of the Crux, the ship swaying ever so gently against the waves.

Kazuha nodded, "Yes, I am great friends with the Kamisato siblings, in fact, they've helped me escape Inazuma when I became a wanted criminal." [L/n] just looked at him in awe.

Kazuha is not ashamed of his past, what happened to him during the vision hunt decree no longer mattered. He is comfortable of sharing what happened, which made the other man felt bad and offered comfort and in which he just accepted the hug. It was warm, the scent of vanilla perfume filling his sense of smell.

Kazuha just chuckled at the other man's expression.

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧ ─────┈⊰᯽⊱

The day the Crux finally arrived in Inazuma, Kazuha remembered how good-byes are painful.

"Well, this is my stop. Thank you for the wonderful company Kazuha." The [h/c] haired man bowed with a smile on his face.

Kazuha just gently nodded, he too had a smile on his face.

[L/n] thought that Kazuha's smile was pretty.

"Likewise."

The words that left the business man's mouth made the wandering samurai's heart skip a beat.

[L/n] grinned, "I'm going to miss you Kazuha."

"I'm going to miss you too." Kazuha smiled, the tips of his ears turning a soft shade of pink, which the other male noticed. [Y/n] giggled.

"How about we'll send each other letters? I'll send my letters for you at Lady Ningguang's or Beidou's addresses."

"That would be lovely."

"I'll see you soon."

"Goodbye Kazuha."

"Goodbye [Y/n]."

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧ ─────┈⊰᯽⊱

Kazuha watched as the silhouette of Inazuma slowly getting smaller and smaller as they sailed back to Liyue

Good-byes aren't usually this painful, it seems that he accidentally left his heart in Inazuma.

His ruby eyes staring longingly at the distance of where Inazuma was, the sound of waves crashing against the ship filled his ears, the smell of the ocean. He didn't expect to long for that certain vanilla scent.

Beidou saw the Inazuman boy moping, his ahoge limping as if it's depressed. She deadpanned before eventually approached the boy, she slapped the boy's shoulder making him flinch.

"Whatcha have on your mind? Love problems?" She teasingly ask which made the samurai blush.

Kazuha jokingly rolled his eyes, "It's nothing..." He says, avoiding eye contact with Beidou.

"Uh oh, somebody's inloveee" Beidou laughed and Kazuha jokingly scoff, "Yeah right. I just think [L/n] is nice and amazing. It's not like I'm going to lay awake at night thinking about him."

Beidou rolled her eyes, "Whatever you say loverboy. Come on, lunch is ready."

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧ ─────┈⊰᯽⊱

It's quiet, Kazuha can hear the gentle sound of waves hitting the ship, the floor boards creaking. There, Kazuha in his room with bloodshot eyes—he doesn't know how long he was awake.

Everytime he closes his eyes for just one second, his mind is immediately filled with thoughts and poems about a certain business man he just met.

"Uh oh..." He softly muttered.

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧ ─────┈⊰᯽⊱

「⸙͎」vanilla masterlist | ✎ᝰnext | ✎ᝰ previous

Ꮺtags!

#lxkevanilla #kazuvanilla #lxkewrites

[lilbitofmac]

Any (sfw) ironstrange fic refs?

Sorry for the late response on this— my memory is always pretty spotty, so I have trouble recalling good fics to recommend!

I’ll give you a top ten request, how about that? These are all AO3 fics!

End of Infinity by FriendlyNeighborhoodFangirls — I feel like if you’re a big shipper of ironstrange, you’ve gotta check out this absolute masterpiece of a fic!! It’s a suuuper slowburn, clocking in at 291+ chapters and still ongoing. Normally, I don’t read fics that aren’t finished, but trust me this one had me sobbing for days. Check out their other works, as well!!

The Blood in Your Veins by Aelaer — Wowowow, this fic absolutely shook me to my core. If you’re okay with some heavy angst, I would 10000% recommend this. Aelaer’s writing is so engaging and the care and understanding they have of Stephen and Tony’s perspectives and motivations are *chef’s kiss* Also, any fic that can actually make me care about the original characters within it? Automatically raises my respect for them.

The Sorcerer of Ephemeral Colors by Imagined — I LOVE FANTASY AUs FOR THIS SHIP!!!! Mage Stephen and Prince Tony go together so fucking well, I could go absolutely insane UGGHH!! This is another big boy fic, but the progression and story-telling, as well as the world-building are done so well!! If you like Fantasy AUs, you’ll love this fic!

(Sober) Companion by funkylittleidiot — It’s been a minute since I read this one, but I was thinking about picking it up again! Another AU fic, this time No Powers with the twist of Stephen helping people recover from their addictions! I wasn’t so sure about the premise at first, but honestly I loved how the author handled the subject matter from what I can remember. Heavy on the Tony angst. I really just love fics where Stephen takes care of Tony =w=;; I think this one is sfw? I really need to reread it 😅

The One to Bet On by airas_story — UGHHHH I LOVE THEIR WORK SO MUCH!!!! This is another fic that’s still ongoing! I am absolutely a SUCKER for time traveler Tony. It is so interesting to see what he does in the past to fix the future, and so far I’m really enjoying where they’re taking the story! Check out their other fics, as well, if you enjoy this one!!

Embers by surveycorpsjean — Idk man this is just a soft fic with these two 🥺💕 Steve and the other Avengers do make an appearance; there’s no character bashing or anything like that, but they don’t take up too much time in the fic! Stephen is just so smitten in this, and I absolutely adore it. Also another author you should check out their other works!

A witch’s cat by harpywrites — TONY GETS STEPHEN A CAT, AND ITS THE CUTEST THING EVER UGGHHH!!! Such a soft, feel-good fic, I absolutely love how Harpy writes Tony here. Seriously, if you just want a quick fic to make you smile, this is the one for you. If you want some heavy Stephen angst, though, check out the rest of Harpy’s works!! She loves to torture the poor sorcerer 💀

dream a little dream of me by DarkKitty1208 — You asked for sfw fics, so I’m not sure how deep angst can get before you call it quits? But if you’re cool with it, I highly recommend this one. Heavy Stephen angst with Tony helping him through his struggles; the imagery in this fic is stunning!!! Kitty has a very good understanding of Stephen and his struggles, so it’s super engaging to see this man trying and failing to cope with his demons! If you want more Stephen angst, check out Kitty’s LIBRARY of fics. Stephen never catches a break istg.

The Affection Thief by airas_story — I’m cheating by including them again on this list, but mostly it’s because I’ve run out of sfw fics 😅 THIS ONE IS SO DAMN CUTE!!!! Stephen gets turned into a cat and shenanigans ensue!! It’s such a simple concept, but the way my heart melted at how they wrote Stephen in this *sobs*

Annnd I’ll cheat for the final one, too.

Prophets in the Graveyard by FriendlyNeighborhoodFangirls — Another Fantasy AU fic because god I can’t get enough of them!!! This time with a murder mystery twist ohohoho! Another long boy with a slowburn because I love to torture myself in the best of ways. Again, this author just handles world-building, pacing, and characterization so so so fucking beautifully in their works. If you haven’t read from them, I beg of you to check out their fics!!

(Honorable Mention: you should absolutely also check out atypicalsnowman’s collection of works. I particularly love their “whatever souls are made of” fic, but it does have eventual smut!! Just seeing how Stephen and Tony would navigate a situation where they use a soul bond to defeat Thanos is ugghh so good.)

[kweenkday]

Top 5 vs Personal 5

List your top 5 fics ranked by kudos on AO3. are you surprised by what's most popular to your readers? then provide your ranking of your personal top 5 fics, and tag a few fellow writers!

Thank you for the tag @mostlymaudlin! Finally got time to do this.

Tagging @knickknacksandallthat because WE NEED TO KNOW! 😋😎

Stealing @mostlymaudlin's strategy because OBVIOUSLY you will be spammed with my favorites first and the ao3 top 5 will be below the line. Sorry, I don't make the rules. 😁

1. I Will Find You Here Inside The Dark - Andreil - After Baltimore, the FBI put Neil under witness protection and he never came back to the Foxes. Ten years later, Andrew and Neil meet again. //obviously my current favorite but.. damn. this is right from my sappy soul to yours.

2. The Shore We'd Come To Find - Kandreil - Neil and Kevin end up in Andrew’s house, hiding from the mafia. The three of them spend the summer together until Kevin and Neil's past catches up with them and they have to run again. Angst but HEA. Also love letters. //I wrote my favorite paragraph of ALL my fics into this one. this fic makes me so emo 👀

3. Like A Wildfire Burning Up Inside My Lungs - KevJean - 'And they were roommates' fic where Kevin asks Jean to teach him how to flirt.  //KevJean is my favorite ship, are you really surprised this is here...

4. Addicted To Disaster - Andreil - RWRB-vibey secret NOT-relationship where Neil is the senator's kid and Andrew is begrudgingly IN WUV. //new baby in my top 5

5. Least Favorite Only Child - Aaron-centric/Kevaaron vibes - Andrew and Aaron fall out during therapy, Kevin messes up Aaron's head and everything feels like a giant landslide. Maybe Aaron just needs to do some healing on his own. //ok, I lied, THIS fic makes me so emo 👀

AO3 Top 5 under the cut!

1. Somebunny To Love - Andreil - Andrew was there when the Date Me, Neil Josten dare started. It goes like this: each week Neil must fake-date the first person to ask him out on Monday morning. If Neil can pull it off for 3 months, he wins. Everyone gets FIVE days only. No exceptions. Until Andrew asks.

2. The Photo Strip Predicament - Andreil - Neil Josten is the worst. As if it wasn't enough that all Aaron's friends love him and he stole the math competition victory right under his nose, but now he photoshopped Aaron's face in a picture of them kissing and no one believes Aaron that this isn't him in that photo.

3. Was Sorta Hopin' That You'd Stay - Andreil - Neil and Andrew have HATED each other since an incident in college. They really, really do. The Minyard-Josten rivalry is not a sham. But now Andrew's transferring to Neil's team and all hell is about to break loose.

4. North Star - Andreil - ANGSTY Break-up/getting back together. Seriously, read the tags. //y'all are crazy to rate this one this high istg

5. Inked Petals - Andreil - Andrew spent 3 years in a shithole small town in Florida trying to get through the loss of the only person who made him feel something. Then Aaron convinces him to move to New York to start living his life again. It all goes well until Andrew makes a tinder account and matches with his dead boyfriend.

Well, that was fun. 💜

[h0rr0rsaxo]

Okay Ace and Addict idea #2! This one is definitely angsty and Amber is in this one...

So Amber has a crush on Ace but Ace obviously hates Amber. Well Ace is stuck with Amber on a little mission and Addict is on the same mission. Well Amber is annoying Ace and just talking about Zalgo, her hate for Addict, and then starts to flirt with Ace. Ace, obviously ignores it but Amber spots Addict watching them and she gets an idea that would piss off Addict.

Amber kisses Ace and Addict comes out from wherever she was hiding and is obviously mad. Now its not like Ace and Addict are together, but just the fact that Ace would ever even go for someone like Amber was enough to anger Addict. She may beat the shit out of Amber, but Addict feels betrayed by Ace. Obviously Ace is innocent, but Amber says things that makes it seem like they are together and it just angers Addict even more so she yells at Ace and calls him a "traitor" and you decide what happens next....

(Please take your time and no rush, I understand if this is a lot and please feel free to send me more requests!)

[ TRAITOR! - SIMP PARTY ]

Warnings; Amber being a little bitch, slight angst.

Tags; @insane-horror-movie-addict

Note; CAN WE PLEASE START AMBER HATE CLUB? Anyways, I finally got my tumblr fixed after complaining about it and sending an appeal. About time istg-- anyways, enjoy!

Word count; 1,860

Having Ace be popular as he was, was never going to be easy. He was constantly surrounded by fangirls. But Addict learned to grow accustomed to it since it was nothing more than mindless adoration, she couldn't care less about them. It's not like she was officially with Ace anyways.

But this demon, on the other hand, was more than a fangirl. Amber was attractive, more than Addict liked to admit, and somewhat of a diligent worker, 'getting along' well with every one of Zalgo's proxies, that included Ace as well. Although, in her eyes it seemed like Amber was especially close to Ace. While she waved their interactions off as common (since Ace was the captain, and Amber was mildly associated with Zalgo), it still didn’t feel great to witness their banter.

Addict sat on the ground in the forest, watching them practice. She had rarely did missions with both Amber and Ace, thus she wasn't able to get a good read on what Amber's intentions were. Though, she absolutely despised Amber in every way, and with a valid reason. Amber was constantly jealous of Addict, and trying to bring her down, it got extremely irritating after a while.

But that didn’t help the fact that she felt uneasy. Especially when Amber and Ace were talking across the forest from her, engaging in what seems like an exciting conversation. Though it mostly seemed as if the conversation was completely one-sided, Ace seemed extremely annoyed by her presence. He couldn't say anything of course, Amber was Zalgo's favorite little pet, and he dared cross her, he was going to get into some deep shit.

Addict watched as she tiptoed to whisper something in Ace's ear, and when he smiled at her, Addict's heart dropped. Despite knowing that there weren’t any bad intentions, she couldn’t shake off the uneasy feeling she had. Little to Addict's knowledge, that smile was completely faked, just to get Amber to shut up.

For the rest of the mission, Addict gave him the cold shoulder. She didn’t mean to, but with how apprehensive she felt, she honestly didn’t know how to face him. But being immature over this situation instead of being honest with Ace only made her more frustrated at herself.

She also kept noticing how Amber would glance at her for a brief second- and when her eyes met she would quickly dart them away. And somehow this only made her more restless. The enemy who was seemingly close with Ace kept staring at her.. that didn’t sit well with her. She wanted to nail Amber in the face..

Just as Addict wanted to pounce on the irritating girl, Amber took her by surprise by doing something rather vulgar, but it was enough to shut her up. While making eye contact with Addict, she suddenly took a hold of Ace's collar rather roughly, pulling him into her, their lips colliding as Addict was completely frozen to the spot.

Burning rage hissed through Addict's body like deathly poison, screeching a demanded release in the form of unwanted violence. It was like a volcano erupting; fury sweeping off her like ferocious waves. The wrath consumed her, engulfing her moralities and destroying the boundaries of loyalty. Amber seemed too triumphal for Addict's iking, which spurred on her anger like oil to a flame. This was the day bitches died.

Addict stormed off, not seeing how Ace pushed Amber off with no hesitation, and ran after Addict. He eventually found her, angrily throwing her daggers at a tree. He walked over to her, taking a seat right next to her. Ace stayed quiet for a few moments before turning to face her.

“Addict? What's up with you, you've been acting weird this entire mission.” He says, briefly checking up on the girl. He was seemingly nervous about something, and after a few deep breaths he spoke again.

“Addict, just tell me what's wrong.” He quickly blurts out. Her brain takes a moment to process his words.

"Traitor.." She mumbles.

"What?" He looked at her with such a blank look she felt the necessity to hit him in the face.

“Traitor, you're a traitor!” she quickly explains, her cheeks already turning rosy. Addict's brows furrowed, and her are slightly narrowed as she's staring at the ground.

Now, there was a part of him that felt flattered that she felt jealous. But he also felt guilty for making her feel so betrayed. Snapping out of his momentary trance, his signature Cheshire cat grin carved its way onto his face, signaling this meant trouble. That was her cue for leaving again. Without saying anything else to him, she turned on her heel, ready to escape the rather awkward situation. However, she didn’t get the chance to even make one step, and she abruptly stopped dead in her tracks as he yanked her by her wrist. She forgot how strong he could be..

“What the— hey! Let go!“

"It's adorable that you're jealous, but do you really think I'm with Amber of all people?" He pulled her into his lap, brushing back her strands of hair behind her ear before whispering, "Especially after that night we had?" A bright red blush crept onto her cheeks and Addict fought back the urge to snap at him. However, being the strong hearted and proud girl she was, she tried to compose herself, for he wasn’t worth a penny to let herself lose it.

"C'mon, you know I like you.." His words trailed on and with every syllable his teeth sunk into her flesh with little nibbles. With a frown she attempted at gently pushing his head away. As much as she wanted to let him ravage her neck then and there, Amber was famous for popping up out of nowhere and she wasn't quite ready to get caught, especially like that.

“Are you gonna stop ignoring me now?” he asks, and when she continues to avoid her gaze, he leans forward, cupping her face so Addict can look at him. It was quite obvious that he knew she was feeling jealous- Ace could read her like a map.

“Fine...” she mumbled, feeling her lips pucker as Ace squished her face.

“Mhmm, so no need to get all jealous and avoidant. Plus even if she did like me, it wouldn’t matter since I’m terribly obsessed with you Addict. And I’m going to make sure that you’re reminded of that every day, is that alright?” he asks before he leans closer to give her a small peck.

When he finally lets go of her face, Addict springs up from her seat, wrapping her arms around him.

“Yes it is…” she mumbled back burying her face into him so he wouldn’t see how shy she's become. But unbeknownst to Addict, Ace was fervently blushing at how cute she was, wondering what he did to deserve her.

[redbleedingrose]

YESSSSSS MA’AM THANK U FOR THE LATEST (and final? honestly i was happy at the end of part 7 and these 2 bonus pieces? i m m a c u l a t e) EPILOGUE FOR ALWAYS 😍😍😍 honestly this was the first gut wrenching, heartbreaking, beautiful angst i had read for a good long while. u made me feel like all the characters were ur own and just, took us on this journey of love, loss, disappointment, despair - just a whole heccin emotional roller coaster of addictive angst that i never wanted to get off like what a fever dream. istg i have read always … at least once every 2-3 days bc ofc i love ur writing but … i also love breaking my own heart over and over again (teehee ✨destructive tendencies✨). anyways i hope in this rambly and painfully written ask u can see the love i (and prolly a whole heccin bunch of others) have for u and ur writing. straight up if u became an author, i’d be throwing hands to be ur first sale bc well … i absolutely d e v o u r everything u write bc ur amazing. i just really appreciate what ur writing has done for me over the last few months, and thankful that the stars aligned for me to share this plane of existence at the same as u 🫡🤍 ilu 🥰

I am....

This is by far one of the kindest messages I have gotten. Don't mind if I just screenshot this and hoard it like a gremlin.

I- Thank you. I am just so stunned. I honestly am so so glad that you liked it!!! I honestly was hating on it, I was not super satisfied with the ending, nor does it feel like their story is over. So... not sure what to do with that LMAO!!!

But I am so freaking glad that you loved it. That you liked the story line, that you liked the way I wrote the characters... it means everything, honestly. I never once thought I would be a fanfic writer. I never thought my writing was good enough for it. Honestly, I still feel like I have a lot of growth that needs to be done. But that fact that people actually reread my stories? The fact that they feel so strongly about it? The fact that they are able to receive the emotions of the characters and feel them as their own??? Absolutely insane. Wild frl.

I am so glad that you like everything else that I write, and OMG what a freaking compliment about me being an author LOL! I think it is by far one of my favorite compliments to get frl. I am so thankful that you stuck it out with me!!! ILYSM!!!! <33333333333333

[boyfhee]

soo, jan 2020 i was addicted to watching funny videos on youtube, like a compilation of them. then i discovered bts funny videos or bts on cracka nd then they were so funny istg i still remember even laughing to them in my sleep.

then feb 2020 i actually search up who bts were since i have been watching their funny videos. for a month i thought they were comedians 😆 who make a living. and i actually see they a kpop group.

that's how i came across kpop, i wouldnt say my first comeback was on because the day i started bts, on era started. my first cb with them was dynamite and i never thought bts would become a world wide sensation :0 like how??? i love them

and my first kdrama, obviously TRUE BEAUTY!!! are team seojun or team suho ??? i am team seojun!! and then i saw 2521 and business proposal in 2022 after watching true beauty in 2020. such a long gap ;-;

my first bias is kim namjoon and then later in june when iland profiles were released, i knew that my 02z were my babes and jayhoon is my one and only unit. but in iland pt2, i inclined emotionally more towards jay </3 he is my heartbreaker :(

my first anime would be jjk, my friend forced me to watch anime so i started like sept 2023, so recently. megumi is my fav but gonna hate sukuna, stupid bitch :( and i live for studio ghibli films, makota shinkai movies too :( they are comffort 🫶🏼

sadly, i don't collect any kpop merch or albums but i have spy x family manga volumes till the last recent one 😁😁 my mom challenged me that if i secure first rank in my college semi finals, she said she would buy me as my bday gift :] and guess what,?? i was the only one who scored 75/75 in maths A and B 😤

these are my firsts btw. do you have anymore firsts rather than these, like love??? 😊

— lover club anon <33

bts as comedians TT these idols can very well be comedians cause they are so effortlessly funny lmfao .. also me too ^^ i became an engene in dimension : answer era but only a few days in or around the comeback, my first was manifesto :O and with bts .. i don't remember :'>

i've never watched true beauty O_O i started it but got bored and dropped it .. but i've seen seojun clips and i definitely support them, also because i lowkey am familiar with the storyline since i've read the webtoon + it's a bit predictable. but, i LOVED 2521, made me cry so much .. and 20th century girl too TT my heart was in pieces, i wrote so much angst during that time hehe and since you've watched business proposal, PLEASE READ THE MANHWA 🙏🙏🙏🙏 it's 100 cuter, better, funnier >< they even have kids omfg .. the drama is no doubt amazing but it can never top the manhwa for me

speaking for manhwas .. do you read them? or webtoons? i was a huge fan of them even before getting into kpop and all but my interest has been wavering lately .. trying to get back into them !

i don't think i had a bias in exo / nct at first because i wasn't really familiar with all this stuff ?? besides, i only listened to their music and didn't watch their other vids .. but now, my bias in nct is renjun TT love him sm, can we just free him from the sasaengs :/ and bias in enhypen is jay, obviously TT i have so many reason, but it's mostly because i like his mindset ( also he's hot as well i feel like i need to be lobotomized whenever i look at him )

my first anime was haikyuu, and of course cause my friends forced me as well .. then i watched jjk which i absolutely love, sk8 to infinity, ohshc, free!, assassination classroom— then i sort of lost interest and switched to studio ghibli and other movies. forest of fireflies is still my favourite and broke my heart a million times TT i took a break from all that too before getting into spy x family and my most recent one is my happy marriage and romantic killer, that i'm planning to watch

i don't have kpop merch either .. i had the option to buy the orange blood album last year but my smartass said she'd rather buy crime and punishment and a few other books that i haven't read yet, mind you.

also my first love erm ... i don't think i've had anything so serious for it to be 'love' ( i don't play around when it comes to that word ) but i've had two boyfriends and one of them was exhibit a for why men suck !!! bro had no sense of personal space and violated my privacy SO MANY TIMES. 10/10 not recommended. although my first bf was sweet and it was lowkey dream come true type of relationship, i'm sad we moved to different cities and don't talk anymore despite being in touch TT do you have a first love or something?