#is. fine honestly business as usual in fandom but for real let my man be like i have agency and i do things

[winepresswrath]

People are so resistant to learning new information about Louis on the learning new things about Louis show. And to be petty for a second it's embarrassingly obvious that it's not even about their attachment to Louis' perspective and the story as it was originally told it's about rejecting any information that doesn't work with their hiatus theories. Louis will be like "shit I remembered that wrong. I have been lying to myself a little because the truth both hurts and fucks with my self image and the story of Us I have been telling myself to cope. And yet I care so profoundly about every detail and especially this specific thing. The truth of this matters to me because her story matters to me. I want you use the more accurate take" and people will be like "wow fake. probably his delicate little mind malfunctioning." Louis will be like "man in retrospect I have made a bunch of shitty choices, and I might have made them under extraordinarily fucked up circumstances but they were still mine. And I find I value being a person who makes active choices and I want to own those choices and after years of lying to myself and being lied to by both my husbands and on a minimum of at least one occasion having my literal memories altered I want to learn to live honestly. For myself. I want to become a person who tells the truth at least to himself." and they will be like "a regression. sad days." girl you just don't like the show it's fine.

[snippychicke]

It's Just Business Part One

Go ahead, say it. 'Eliza, don't you have enough WIPs?

Yes. I do. But One Piece has brought me the most productive Muse I have had in a long time. And who am I to resist? Especially this face

Hopefully my last WIP for One Piece LA, and I can get all three done.

Fandom: One Piece (LA mainly)

Rating: Teen so far

Pairing: Sanji/Reader

Warnings: No real warnings, but god, I hope you like pining

Summary: You felt like you had known Sanji forever, considering your family had been the main merchants Zeff used to supply the Baratie. You had a small crush on him, but knew it was hopeless considering you were the one woman he didn't seem to pine over. 

It was fine. Or so you thought until you ended up on the Going Merry as a bookkeeper and supply manager. Being around him 24/7 was a lot more difficult than just a few days a week.  

(Please note 》°《 denotes a scene in the past while -*- will be a regular scene break. Because yeah, I like my non-linear story telling.)

Masterpost | Ao3

Destination: 

You grew giddy as you saw the lights of the Baratie against the darkening violet sky. The trip had been longer than usual after getting blown off course by a squall you had encountered midway, and you had worried it wouldn’t be until late in the night before you were able to reach your destination.  

Lining up your ship with the deck at the back of the restaurant was pure muscle memory at this point. You had been doing this run since you were a child living on your parent’s merchant boat, after all. Patty called your name as you approached, a large grin on his face as you threw the rope to him to pull the ship in and anchor to the floating deck. "We were beginning to think you weren't going to make it tonight!"

"A small squall pushed me off course," You explained as he boarded, and you gestured to the barrel before grabbing a much smaller package along with your bag. "But you can rely on me, promise!" 

The dark man huffed as he picked up the crate. "Uh huh. Just make sure to tell the others to come help before you fall too deep in Sanji's blue eyes." 

"Patty!" You hissed, face burning as you paused. " I don't--It's not like that!" 

The cook's laugh echoed across the deck and into the night. "I was young once too." 

Theoretically, you knew he was right, yet at the same time to think of him, or many of the other veteran cooks of the Baratie as young seemed wrong. 

Like Zeff. 

The aforementioned chef greeted you by name as you entered the kitchen not long afterwards, his eyes crinkling as he smiled towards you. "Good to see you made it, I was starting to worry!" 

"Just took a minor detour!" You excused over the clamor of the kitchens, your eyes scanning discreetly for the other blonde chef. (Sous chef, chef, cook, you still were confused by the differences.) 

"Eggplant is waiting tables tonight." Zeff called, meaning your attempt at being subtle had failed spectacularly. 

"Oh no," You laughed despite the blush at being caught red handed. "What'd he do this time?" 

"Bein' a little shit like always,” Zeff finished whatever he was working on and washed his hands before bellowing out over the clatter of the kitchen. “Those not actively working on orders go unload Lil' Miss' ship! And you, lil' lady, let's go discuss business." 

You carried your package with you back to Zeff's office. The place was nothing like the clean organized chaos of the kitchen. Instead it was pure chaos with papers and log books piled everywhere. It felt like home to you, honestly. You had been raised by merchants, after all. Your parents had taught you the motto that if a person’s office was clean and well organized, business was bad. Chaos meant business was booming and they barely had time to keep things tightly organized. 

And business was always booming at the Baratie. 

You took a seat across from Zeff’s desk and you two quickly fell into a heated discussion as you haggled over prices, giving each other needlessly hard times for the hell of it. After finally settling on prices, the topic moved onto what was needed for the next run. 

"Alright then," Zeff said as you placed the order in your bag, along with the stack of money as payment. "You run off and find Sanji. I'm sure by now he's heard you're aboard and getting antsy." 

Your smile faded as you blushed. It was a very common tease from the crew, and you were fairly sure they were just playing around. Giving everyone a hard time seemed to be the cooks’ mutually favorite pastime.  "Hardly. I'm sure he's been chatting up some pretty gal or three and hasn’t even noticed." 

Still, you held the package close to you as you made your way to the restaurant proper. Nemo, the Maître d’ smiled as you entered, showing you over to one of the smaller tables on the second floor balcony where you could watch the rest of the restaurant. One of the benefits was always having a table reserved on the days you were due to come in.   

Even with the late hour, the Baratie was still rather busy. Couples mainly filled the tables, though you saw a few groups you assumed were friends and others that were likely business meetings. With the melting pot that was the baratie, there was no way to really tell who was civilian, marine, or pirate. 

"Well, there's the lady of the hour," A familiar voice stated, pulling your attention back. Sanji smiled at you as he placed your favorite drink in front of you. "I was relieved to hear you made it safe and sound, though I did miss our usual lunch date." 

"Me too, but the weather wasn't very cooperative today," You smiled as you offered the package to him. "Fresh from the tailors, as requested." 

Despite being on the clock, Sanji took the seat across from you before opening up the garment box, revealing the silk button-up shirts he had ordered. There was a faint smile on his face as he examined the shirts--he had left the color and pattern choices up to you so you had went with ones that would make those sky blue eyes pop. 

"You never disappoint," he said softly, apparently satisfied with your choices. 

"Gotta keep my favorite business partners happy." Which was true in a sense. It was just business. He had paid you in full last time for you to go buy the shirts. But seeing Sanji smile at you like that, his blue eyes sparkling from behind fine blonde hair, woke the butterflies in your chest and was a payment of sorts all in itself. 

"Well then, let me go see if those lazy asses have your usual ready. If not, give me a minute and I'll whip it up myself." 

》°《

You could remember first seeing the fishshaped restaurant emerging from the fog as a child. The Baratie wasn't quite as famous as it would be, but your parents, both descended from profitable merchants themselves, could sniff out a good partnership in the making.

That's when you met the infamous Zeff. You could remember peeking out from behind your father's leg to look at the tall muscular chef, amazed by his braided mustache. 

And also when you met Sanji--not much older than yourself--and at the time a fair bit thicker. 

And you got along like cats and dogs. 

Years passed and while you and Sanji were more likely to glare daggers at each other then say something nice, he was also the only person your age you saw the most. Your merchant ship visited every few weeks with produce, and both of you were usually roped into unloading and putting things away. 

"Damned oregano," You heard him mutter as you stocked the spices. 

"Doesn't that go in spaghetti?" You asked as you carefully poured sugar into the large barrel. 

The look Sanji had could've killed, but you were used to him shooting daggers at you whenever you were in the same room. "What did you say?"

"Oregano,” you repeated as if he was dumb (in your defense, you were eleven and firmly believed he was.) “I do know how to make spaghetti sauce now." 

"I'm just going assume you mean some kind of marinara sauce you put on spaghetti noodles," He sneered as if you were the thick one, making you roll your eyes. 

"Oh right. Sorry Mr. Fancypants, but not all of us literally live in a restaurant." So many sauces and different types of noodles hardly meant anything to you when you typically ate the same thing every day when out at sea. 

"Yeah, some of us weren't allowed in the galley until she was ten,” Sanji muttered under his breath not-so-quietly. “And can barely boil water as it is." 

You lost your temper despite promising your family you would be on your best behavior, and impulsively grabbed a handful of the white crystalized sugar before throwing it at Sanji.  

He yelled as the sugar hit him, glaring at you with murderous intent before giving another yell as he tackled you. 

And the fight was on.  Punches, kicks, spit, everything flew as you tussled on the floor, trying your best to make the other conceded.. 

"What the hell is going on here!" Zeff boomed as he pulled you both apart by the back of your shirts just minutes later, swearing both of your names. "The fuck do you think you were doing?" 

"She started it by throwing sugar!" Sanji snarled.

"He was making fun of me!"

"I was just stating facts!" 

“I don’t care who started it!” Zeff snarled. “But that is the wimpiest fighting I have ever seen! Absolutely disrespectful. I’m dragging both of you outside for a lesson.”

[rayne-storm]

A Regular Creep

AUgust 17 - Retail

Fandom: Dracula

Summary: The gang works in a mall in a very affluent neighborhood.

The girls keep noticing that a regular shopper, potentially a manager/owner at a store (they aren't sure since they usually work day shift) keeps hanging around.

He poaches Mina's fiancee, a contractor who primarily works with making things OSHA compliant, now stuck on the night shift but saving money for their future house, which is good, right?

Then he brings Lucy over, and he keeps trying to corner Mina…

*****

"Honestly, Mina, he's probably just shy. You know how those nocturnal types get," Lucy tutted.

Mina shook her head, shuddering slightly. "Jonathan says he's very… bubbly? Excitable?" She shook her head.

She didn't trust it. The guy had been coming in for weeks now. He was becoming a real creepy regular, always staring and saying nearly nothing, and had already poached her fiance to work for him at the high-end jewelry store/Cafe combo (seriously, who did that??) across the mall from them.

Now she barely got to see Jonathan, always too busy with work or too tired from it to do anything. Sure, the money was really good, and they almost had enough for a down payment on their dream house, but that wouldn't be worth it if he was too exhausted to be there with her. Or actually get married.

"You worry too much. He seems nice. Even asked if I wanted to work there part-time."

For some reason that just gave Mina an even worse feeling.

"And you want to go to that place? The people there look like they're even nastier than here!"

"You know I can handle it. Besides, if I hate it, I'll quit. Easy peasy." The girl winked and Mina sighed.

"Fine… but text me so I know you get there and home safe."

"Sure, sure, mom."

***

Three months later, and Mina was increasingly more worried.

Lucy barely had time for her, and had completely neglected the "I'm alive" texts for weeks. Mina only knew as much because one of Lucy's roommates would text her when they saw her slink in at absurd hours. Arthur, Lucy's main squeeze, usually heard from her once every day or two, and he'd let Mina know as well. Bless him.

Jonathan was still overworked at a night job that left him so tired he barely lived in the daylight hours. Mina would try to get him to quit, but he would talk about the money. No one else would pay a retail legal guy this much, he said.

The worst, though, was that the creep still came around, still stared, but now he seemed to be growing more confident, or maybe bold. He knew her name. Would look for her specifically when he came in, ask her to help him find the same things, make her ring him up.

The managers wouldn't listen when she complained, since "he hasn't even touched you." She was on the verge of quitting.

"Ah. Miss Mina, there you are."

Dammit. He'd found her hiding place.

"Hello, sir. How can I help you today?" She plastered on her Customer Service Smile, hiding her true hate behind it.

She hated this man. The way he looked at Lucy and now her. The way he would always make some remark about Jonathan's work ethic. The way he hovered, just above her. Never touching her, no, but that didn't make her feel any less gross.

"Ah. I was needing some help finding my things. You're so smart and good at this… your service is always top notch, as well. You're sure I can't convince you to coke work for me? I'm sure Miss Lucy would love that, and your fiance Harker."

She didn't say what she really felt about that request.

"Sorry. I'm just too content here. Works much better with my schedule."

"Oh, that's right, you're a student, yes? Literature?"

How did he know that?? Lucy, probably. Or his little goon that John swore up and down would stalk them around campus. The kid was a store manager, somehow, but they always saw him on campus, no matter the time of day.

She just nodded, already knowing what he wanted, and he followed along so closely she felt his breath on her neck.

"Your usual, sir?"

"Please, my sweet Miss Mina. Call me Vlad."

"Of course, Mister Vlad. Sir."

She hated it.

But until he either touched her or someone else complained, or she graduated and got a better job, this was how it was.

"Oh thank you, sweet Mina. You are such a delight."

She wished Quincey was here. He always had a way of keeping her out of the creep's way. But he had finals. She understood, and wished she was studying too. Anything to be away from here.

She tuned the man out as she grabbed his things, the same every night, and rang him up.

He departed, as always, undressing her with his eyes as he did.

One day, she'd leave. And on that day, she'd let the creep know exactly how she felt.

[thewritetofreespeech]

hi! im glad ur requests are open! i was wondering to request an akashi x reader scenario where he comforts her whenever she feels insecure about not being good enough for him and thinks he deserves someone better? lots of fluff bc this man is just best :,) thank u!

Glad you’re excited! Please feel free to send more for any other KnB characters or fandoms!!

“So after practice, I’ll meet you at the front of the school and I’ll walk you home.”

“You really don’t have to do that Akashi-kun.”

“I want to." The red head replied with a soft smile. “It’s not that far, and I’ve already contacted my driver to pick me up from there this evening. That should give us plenty of time to go over that assignment that’s been giving you so much trouble.”

“I’ll sure with your help, we’ll have it done in a flash!” You reply with a bright smile.

Akashi continued to smile, then reached down to take your hand and give it a small squeeze. PDA was inappropriate at school; especially for the class president. But it still spoke volumes that he wanted to do something before he left. “Good luck at practice Akashi-kun!” You call after him with a wave before you went to put away your things.

“Can you believe her? Fawning over Akashi-san like that.”

You give a small ‘hn?’ as you hear Akashi’s name behind you. Whispers in a harsh tone between some of your classmates.

“Yeah. It’s pathetic. I’m sure it’s embarrassing to Akashi-san as well.”

“Have some dignity for Christ sakes.”

They were….talking about you? You didn’t think you had done anything wrong. Akashi was the one who came up to you and asked to come over. He took your hand. All you had done was wish him luck at practice. Had you been too loud? He didn’t seem embarrassed.

“I still can’t believe he’s dating her. He could honestly have anyone and he picks a ‘plain Jane’ like that?”

“Did you hear that he has to tutor her in that assignment from class? What a moron!”

Your grip on your bag tightened. Akashi was the one who wanted to help you. Your grades weren’t bad. Pretty average all around. You weren’t as smart as Akashi was, but then again who could really compete. He wanted you to do better and succeed, but now you were thinking that maybe he wanted to help you because it was embarrassing for him to be with a girl who didn’t get better grades.

“It must be hard for him to be saddle with a girl like that. I know I would certainly be a better match for Akashi-san.”

“Yes! Match! Right! Yes not a match for him. How can they honestly expect to have a good relationship with such a big difference in like, literally everything? Grade, athletics, social standing. Opposites attract and all, but eventually he’s gonna get bored with someone who can’t keep up and dump her. I feel kind of bad for her.”

Unable to listen to anymore of this, you shove the rest of your belongings in your bag and leave the classroom. You couldn’t stand listen to those girls anymore!

But…maybe…the real reason you were so upset was because they had a point.

Maybe Akashi would start to realize the difference between you and leave. Maybe he was too good for you, and it was only a matter of time before he figured that out.

You suddenly don’t feel well and text this to Akashi, saying you would be heading home. He of course texted you back, not having made it to practice yet, and asked if everything was alright and that he would come over later still, but you ask him not to.

For the next few days you avoided Akashi as much as possible. Aside from saying hello, or passing in the hall, you tried to stay away from him. When he asked to hang out, or have lunch, or even just talk for a few moments in your passing, you made some sort of excuse and hurried away. If he was going to leave you anyway, you decided, best to just put distance between you now so it would hurt less.

You plan worked for a while. Until one afternoon, as you were walking alone down a deserted hall, someone grabbed your from behind and pulled you into a classroom. “A-Akashi-kun?!”

“Why have you been avoiding me?” Akashi demanded. His usually soft expression with you stone cold as his gaze pinned you to the wall like his hands did.

“I…I’m not avoiding you. I’ve…just been busy.”

“Don’t lie.” He ordered you. “It will only make this worse. Tell me why you’ve been avoiding me. Every time I see you, you take off. Was it something I did? Something I said?”

“No. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Then what is it?” He asked, finally letting go of his hold on you. Now that he’s decided you won’t run away again. “I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

He did have a point there. Akashi was so smart. Which was the problem. You eventually tell him how you’ve been feeling, about what those girls said, and can feel tears well up in your eyes the more you spoke. “I just didn’t want you to leave me. But I thought it would be better if I put space between us so you wouldn’t realize how vast the difference between us is.”

You hear Akashi sigh before he ran his fingers through his hair. “Foolish girl.” A startled noise escaped your lips. You certainly weren’t expecting him to say that. “Of course we’re different. I don’t want to be with someone exactly the same. You do have strengths [Y/N]. Different strengths than I do, and that’s what makes being with you so wonderful.” The boy’s expression softened again and he stepped closer to hug you. “Don’t listen to those stupid, vapid girls. They’re just jealous. And they should be. Not because you’re with me, but because you’re perfect the way you are. That’s why I chose to be with you. I love you.”

You let out a soft sniffle against Akashi’s shoulder and hug him tighter back as he held you. “I love you too Sei-kun.”

He held you for a bit longer before finally letting you go. “Come on. Dry your eyes. Now that that’s settled, I want to make up for the date we lost over this silliness. To show you my feelings are absolute.”

You smile and nod at Akashi’s decision before you leave the classroom after a brief kiss. It was fine, if not one was around to see it. Akashi and you may be different, but that didn’t mean your love for one another couldn’t be the same.

[dinner-djarin]

dar'manda (Mando x f!reader insert)

Prologue

(Inspired by this scene)

Summary: You've been working as a merchant on Nevarro for years now, only out of necessity. Life really wasn't going your way. At least until the Mandalorian came by your booth. Now he's all you think about, and soon he'll be even more.

Warnings: Probably some swearing (real and in universe), violence (eventually), smut (eventually), No use of Y/N, slowburn/fluff (for the first little while)

Notes: Takes place at the end of season 1, and will mostly take place between season one and two. I have been sitting on this for a while due to some fear about reception by the fandom, but honestly I just need to stop thinking about it so here we go. She's going out into the world, and I hope you enjoy. (Also I wrote this prologue like 2 months ago so it isn't quite where I'd like it to be but if you read this please just stick with me, I swear my writing gets better lol)

You don’t know how long it’s been since you last saw him. Weeks? Months? But you can’t get that damn tin can out of your head.

You really have no reason to be this hung up on him. He’s barely spoken to you, you’ve never even seen his face, so it should be easy enough to move on from whatever childish infatuation you have over him. Right? Maker, what kind of person crushes on a mask and a suit of armour?

But there’s something about him, something that keeps him planted in your subconscious. You’ve tried to find the words to explain it, but nothing ever comes close. You can't even begin to understand how this man has completely overtaken your every waking thought.

He used to come by every couple of weeks, and you’d savour every delectable minute of the interaction, but that was all before shit hit the fan of course. You weren't there to see it but when you came back to work the next day it was all anyone could talk about.

“Apparently the metal man broke some Guild rule, and practically all of the other bounty hunters tried to kill him for it.” You heard over your shoulder. As much as you liked to keep to yourself, you couldn’t help form eavesdropping on a conversation between merchants. You did have a guilty pleasure for drama, probably to fill the uneventful void that your mundane life had now become.

“The Mandalorian? He broke their code then!” one exclaimed.

“I heard he went back for a bounty,” someone else whispered.

“What could make someone do something so stupid?” questioned a merchant lady you already didn’t particularly like.

“He doesn’t strike me as stupid,” you interrupt, trying to stick up for the man you were currently enamoured with. “If he did it, there must be a valid reason.”

“If he did it?” She sneered. “Do you not see the damage he left behind? People will be out of business for sure. It’ll take weeks to clean up the mess he made.”

“Then I guess I hope it was worth it. That it wasn't in vain.” You state, putting an end to the conversation. You hoped the man – that you already liked against your better judgement – wouldn’t cause so much harm without some justification.

In the wake of his rebellion, a covert of other masked hunters revealed themselves, shot up the town, and then vanished without a word. And so did your Mandalorian.

Woah hold on. Not yours. Just one random Mandalorian that you’ve said a handful of words to and have harboured a secret crush over.

From the second you saw him you pretty much knew you were screwed. Between the husky modulated voice, and the broad as hell shoulders, there was pretty much no way to quell the instant attraction that rose up in you. His presence alone was suffocating. Nothing could stop the way your vocal cords tightened to the point of forcing out a soft squeal at his sight. The whole time he talked to you, you could feel his visor latch onto your body – pinning you to the spot.

You thought you might find some relief when he left. Quite the opposite. You couldn't help but gawk at the way his body moved, like he knew he was hot shit. He took your damn breath away. And you were glad to know that he couldn't see your lips part to let out a soft moan, or the way they pursed back together as you unconsciously swallowed the suddenly copious amount of saliva pooling in your mouth. Fucking delicious, you thought, shamelessly.

Maybe it was the fact that you knew he could take anyone down in milliseconds. He was untouchable, and this latest defiance proved that. No one crossed the Guild. Well, no one crossed the Guild and got away with it. But if anyone could, it would be Mando.

And there’s another thing. You don’t even know his name. Which means that you’re forced to call him the colloquial slang that is commonly used by outsiders of the Mandalorian culture. “Mando”. You couldn’t help but think about how it almost sounded like an insult, especially when slurred from the mouth of other criminals. You hated the way people spat the word out at him, obviously trying to get him worked up; to see what he was made of. It made you desperately wish that you had a better name to call him, his real name. An intimate piece of knowledge that you could hold on to, something of him that no one else had.

Maybe that made you selfish. Even so, there was so much you wished you knew about him. He was a complete mystery.

To be fair, he probably didn’t even know your own name. You can't recall him asking for it, or if you ever introduced yourself. You were pretty much a bumbling mess the first time you met him. To the point where even if you had tried to say your name it probably would have sounded like you were speaking Huttese. Although, who could blame you. It wasn’t very conventional to introduce yourself to every customer. The people on Nevarro usually kept to themselves, especially the bounty hunters. There wasn’t much room for ‘customer service’. But damn you wish you had tried to make some sort of introduction. Even if it had come out as incoherent nonsense, you think it may have made talking to him later a bit easier.

However, none of that matters if he never comes back, and you bet he won’t. He’s smarter than that. To pull what he did, he’s probably on the other side of the galaxy right now.

Even so, you’ll miss the shared awkward silences and stolen glances that came with each of his visits. Whenever he’d come into the shop, he’d list off what he needed to stock up on, using the most deep and captivating voice you think you’d ever heard. If he hadn’t had that helmet covering his face, you’d swear he stared right into your soul as he did so. It almost made you weak in the knees every damn time. You’d then rummage through each supply crate and gather the best quality of every item, and finally – just to bring your humiliation to an all-time high – you’d give him a discount for absolutely no discernible reason. He took notice of the reduced price the first time and thanked you, only for you to be berated by your boss once he left. Eventually, to your dismay, the niceties came to a halt. Maybe he forgot what full price was, maybe he just couldn’t care less.

Either way, it looks like you’d risked your job for the last time. It’s a shame. For a planet full of bounty hunters and hardened criminals, there’s actually not a lot to entertain you. A shootout here, an escaped bounty there, but nothing that satisfied your desire for an exciting lifestyle.

The closest you got to that would be each time some wide-eyed, eager, wannabe-bounty-hunter strolled through town looking for a chance to weasel their way up the ladder of the Guild. They definitely thought they were more important than they actually were, and they always made a point of showing off for you. Not that you were anything special, just the closest thing with cleavage usually. They’d probably brag about their rank and their kill counts, things you could not care less about. A few of them actually had the balls to ask you out, but it usually only ended in a free meal or drink. To be fair though that was very intentional on your part. It was fun to play the part of a flirtatious girl from the market for a while, and almost exciting to think about how you were completely screwing over those assholes.

Over the time you’ve spent alone in the galaxy you learned exactly how to read those kinds of people. You knew just how far to go, just what to say or do until you got what you needed. As much as you weren’t a fan of physical affection, you often brushed your target's arm or thigh, played with their hair, or if the situation really demanded it – madeout with them behind the cantina. But you always made a point of stopping before things got too far. You may not be a complete saint, but you knew none of the scumbags you met were worth your time.

You wouldn’t have allowed things to go any further. Not with them. Going any further could only be a letdown, and you were fine to take those matters into your own hands…. literally. You may be a complete flirt, but only as a skill to survive in this grimy and dangerous galaxy. You learned early on that being young and female was a vulnerability. That was at least until you discovered how that vulnerability could be shaped into one of your most valuable strengths.

When you think about him though… well something about him made your entire badass facade disappear into thin air. You lost any cool you had the minute he walked past your vendor. Not to mention that there was something else about him that told you he’d see right through it anyway. Maybe it was the visor. Some special setting to read the level of bullshit.

As far as you’ve seen, he doesn’t take anyone’s shit. He definitely isn’t the type to make others feel comfortable in a conversation. He says precisely what he needs to get his point across, nothing more. Never once had you heard him use more than 10 words at a time.

On a few occasions you were lucky enough to end up in the cantina at the same time as him. Whether you were on a break or entertaining some dead-beat for free lunch, you remember how fast your heart would beat when the glint of his helmet met your vision. You wondered if he noticed your presence, or if he even recognized you away from your vendor at the market.

One time you were in the next booth over. Your spine straightened, and your whole body shivered when he slid into his seat and placed himself directly behind you. The proximity was electrifying. It made every neuron in your body fire rapidly and your blood vessels pump impossibly fast. You were probably supposed to be listening to the slimeball buying your drinks drone on about how impressive his last capture was, but the baritone emanating from behind ensnared every ounce of focus you had.

“I’ll take the highest pay” he muttered through the modulator.

“I do have other hunters, Mando. I can’t always guarantee you get the best of the lot.” replied his employer. A smile maintained on his face even when confronting an unforgiving barricade.

“I’m sure you do. But high price means high risk.” Mando responded. His employer’s confused silence forced him to continue. “Those skilled enough to take on the bounties know better than to do so.”

The Guild leaders' laughter bounced off the walls making many patrons turned their heads, while others continued their business, obviously being used to this behaviour.

You were left puzzled in that moment, completely baffled by this interaction. It wasn't until much later that night when it finally clicked. Although you didn’t know exactly how ranking in the Guild worked, you knew Mando was up there. He had the status to strike fear into almost every other bounty hunter he outranked. Mando had staked his claim long ago, and no one in the Guild was stupid enough to try and take a bounty from him. If he wanted something, he was going to get it.

You’d remember that interaction vividly. Not only because of how close you were to the Mandalorian as you overheard it, but also in service as a reminder to you, proving just how dominant he was in this world. He held power over every member of the Guild, including its leader, whether he wanted to admit it or not. You felt idiotic for not instantly understanding the control he wielded wherever he went. Sometimes it's a wonder how completely oblivious you could be.

Although you certainly were not oblivious to the drastic upgrade he got just before leaving. If you thought Mando was intimidating before, his new head to toe silver armour was sure to strike fear into any of his prey. You remember thinking you saw his reflection pass by earlier in the day, but he quickly dissolved into the shadows, as he often found a way of doing. However, later that night when you had just gotten off from work, he strolled back into the cantina for a new batch of bounties and all eyes were drawn to him. Most eyes were filled with jealousy since – as his employer made clear – he completed the job none of them could. They were probably even more enraged by the fact that he wore his reward back into the room, when most of them would have gladly taken that metal to the highest bidder and sold it for a hefty profit. However, you saw him differently than the rest. Your eyes were fixed on him in fear and in wonder. This metal man, already a force of nature, just became that much more impossible to defeat. As if anything could get to him before, it was clear now that no one could reach the Mandalorian.

But again – it doesn't matter. Not a single soul on Canto Bight would bet his shiny ass walks back into this sector. Not unless he has some kinda death wish…

Turns out he has some kinda death wish.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 1 is up now!

More notes: Hello there! I hope you enjoyed this lovely mess. I'm not the most proud of it, but I do want to continue this story (which I know we've all read 100 iterations of by now). Either way, I'm having fun writing it, so I might as well post it!

I'd love a like or comment if you'd be willing to share, I'm very new to writing so I'd enjoy any constructive criticism (especially on the first few parts, I know they need work, but at this point I just want to stop thinking about it and continue on with the story). Also this will be ongoing, so if you wanna keep reading feel free to drop your @ in my inbox or in the comments and I can tag you when I update!

So long for now my fellow helmet whores!

[side-shawty]

Burn XIV (Stark!Reader)

XIV: Family Business

Fandom: Marvel (MCU)

Type: series

Prompt/Summary: Family is not just blood.

Pairing(s): Peter Parker x Stark!reader, Tony Stark x daughter!reader

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

•

The next morning you somehow found yourself a tangle of arms and legs with Peter. 

After the initial wariness of your surroundings faded you were still finding it hard to believe this was all real you relaxed into him again. You pushed your face into his chest and breathed in his calming scent as his strong arms unconsciously tightened around you. 

Your eyes slipped closed again and you were almost asleep again when the light sliding of the door opening could be heard. 

You hoped they’d go away once they saw you were both asleep but there was no such peace with the Avengers.

“Aww look at how cute they are. You owe me five bucks Sam,” Natasha spoke.

“No you owe me, I said they’d be attached at the hip within 12 hours and you said 20,” you could practically hear the smirk in his voice.

“Okay, but I said 8 so, both of you pay up,” Bucky interrupted and it took everything in you not to look at them and roll your eyes. 

You could hear the exchange of money and Bucky’s over-enthused “Thank you,” in reply.

Peter groaned beside you and held you closer, “You guys are way too loud,” he told them, eyes still closed.

“And you’re way too stingy, can’t we see her too?” Nat said and you giggled a little at that, effectively blowing your cover.

“She’s up!” Sam said and you and Peter both sat up, rubbing at your eyes and stretching.

“She wants to go back to sleep,” you told them and they laughed lightly.

“No time for that. Time for hugs,” Nat said, coming to your side of the bed. 

Meanwhile, Peter got out of the bed and told you he’d be back with breakfast before kissing your cheek. The simple action made you giddy.

“Bleh,” Bucky fake gagged as Peter left and he and sam sat in his now vacant spot.

You hugged each of them tight, you hadn’t realized how much you missed everyone. 

“So lover boy was here all night, huh?” Sam asked wiggling his eyebrows as if he didn’t know the answer.

“Yes he was, we talked and we slept and I will take no more questions,” you crossed your arms over your chest. 

“That better be it,” Bucky said but there was no threat in his voice that warranted concern.

“Gosh, you’re really showing your age today aren’t you Buck?” Nat teased before turning to you. “Earlier he asked me what an AirPod was,” she laughed and you laughed with her.

“And here I thought you were getting the hang of this new fangled century,” you told him.

“Listen I’m trying okay, everything is so fancy for no reason,” he sulked and you laughed again.

“Seriously though kid, how are you?” Sam questioned and they all looked at you expectantly.

“In one piece,” you said honestly. “Some scrapes and bruises and a cut on the back of my neck that’ll probably scar but I’m alive,” you smiled.

“Was it a shock device?” Bucky asked darkly.

You hesitated before answering, “Yeah.”

Bucky’s metal arm flexed as he balled his hand into a fist, “I’ll fucking kill those HYDRA assholes one day.”

You placed a hand on top of his fist, “Hey,” he looked up at you, “I’m alright. Thanks to all of you I’m here and breathing. I love you guys.” 

Before you knew it they pulled you into a hug and you held back tears giving you their own declarations of love. When Peter came back in with food they all decided to let you eat in peace with your boyfriend. Peter told you the doctors would be here around one and in the meantime, you’d probably get several visitors. 

All too soon, he had to leave for the city, there was only so much school he could avoid without the possibility of not graduating on time. He left with a promise returning that evening and a soft kiss on your lips. 

Before anyone new came in you asked FRIDAY to call your mom downstairs. She helped you shower and change into sweats and one of Peter’s shirts with a wink. She told you that she would have stayed longer but Morgan would be waking up for the day soon. 

Your dad stopped by for a little after she left and after Sam and Bucky blew something up he also had to leave.

The next ones to walk through the door were Steve and Rhodey.

“Well if it isn’t two of my favorite soldiers,” you smiled as they walked in.

“As long as I’m the number one favorite I accept,” Rhodey said before gathering you into his arms for a tight hug.

When he let go Steve was next, “Keep dreaming Rhodes.” 

“Well I would tell you who my favorite was if I thought it wouldn’t hurt your feelings,” you told them as they had taken the same positions as everyone else and sat on either side of you.

“C’mon now Y/N you wouldn’t want to give the old man a heart attack.”

Steve rolled his eyes.

“Anyways, how are you Y/N?” Steve asked.

“Good, healing, y’know? Seems like it’ll be a long process but I feel better than I did when I first woke up last night.”

“I’m glad to hear it, we’re only going up from here.”

“Definitely, by the way, I haven’t seen Thor, Clint, or Bruce today.”

“Thor is off-world, apparently whatever HYDRA used to brainwash Harley is similar to the mind stone so he’s trying to get it out ahead of it,” Steve told you.

“Clint had to run home, Laura is going to give birth soon and Bruce should be by later with your other doctors,” Rhodey finished.

“Ah got it. I cant wait for little Y/N to be born,” you said.

“Yeah because Barton is definitely gonna want to name is kid after the girl who put retractable grates in the vents to mess with him,” Rhodey rolled his eyes.

“Well he shouldn’t have tried to prank me on my own turf.”

“Everywhere is your turf,” Steve said.

You grinned, “Exactly.”

Steve hesitated before speaking again and his face became solemn, “Listen I’m sorry that I couldn’t do more for you that night.”

“So am I, we’re family, I should have protected you,” Rhodey added. They both let their heads hang low.

You took one of each of their hands into you, “You guys, look at me,” they obeyed, “I’m so incredibly happy right now you have no idea. A lot went wrong but I’m okay, even if I do have to spend a couple extra days in here.”

They both smiled at you and things felt okay again. They stayed for a little while longer leaving you with words of encouragement before you were once again left alone.

However, you weren’t suffocating the way you had been at HYDRA. You asked FRIDAY to project the water by the compound onto the right wall, it felt like you could finally release all the tension in your body.

Before you knew it your eyes slipped closed and you fell asleep.

——

You were awakened again by the sound of the door opening, this time Bruce and your dad walked in with —

“Well this is quite the surprise,” you said smiling.

“How could I not visit my favorite fire-wielding hero,” he spoke and made his way over to bring you into a tight hug.

Bruce hugged you next with a smile and then went over to one of the machines you had unhooked when you first woke up. Your dad gave you a kiss on the forehead and then stood beside the other scientist.

“To what do I owe the pleasure Doctor Strange?” You asked.

“You know me,” He took a seat next to you on the bed, “I love popping in and out but after I heard what happen I made sure your dad kept me in the loop. I know magic stuff keeps me busy but I am still your Godfather,” he told you.

“Mystical Godfather,” Tony threw in, “A totally made up title.”

Strange rolled his eyes and silently mocked your dad, “Still a title.”

“Debatable.”

You laughed lightly at their childishness.

“In all seriousness though, your dad ordered a full workup. He said your flames turned purple and wanted to make sure it didn’t damage your body in a non-tradition sense,” he told you and you nodded.

“So I only get a visit if my life at risk?” You asked overdramatically, throwing a hand to your forehead, “You wound me.”

“Haha, very funny. Now sit up straight while I work my … magic,” he said.

“Booo, your jokes have gotten worse since Christine got pregnant,” However, you sat up straight as he stood.

Strange was quick to begin in a flash of warm light symbols surrounded you, several of them had even went in and out of your body. 

After a few minutes, he was finished and the light and symbols faded away. His face was littered with mixed emotions.

“What is it?” You asked, concerned.

“Are you alright?” Strange asked and the question grabbed the attention of Bruce and Tony.

You were confused, “I mean aside from some injuries that might scar I feel fine.”

“Tired? Weak? Foggy mind?” Strange asked.

“Barely, it was bad when I first woke up though. What does that have to do with anything?”

“Part of what a ‘full workup’ is is looking into your soul or aura and it seems like whatever happened when you released those purple flames caused a hole,” Strange explained. 

The room was silent. All three men looked at you anxiously as you sat in shock, you weren’t sure what to say.

“So a piece of he is just poof! Gone?” Tony asked, bewildered at the idea.

“It’s a small piece but essentially, yes. There’s a chance it may come back over time but things like this are usually done only in dire situations of stress or emotional turmoil.”

“Well my situation checks all the boxes,” you said quietly to yourself.

It was then that tour father decided to move from his spot beside Bruce and wrap an arm around your shoulders. 

“Are you alright?” He asked.

“I think so, this is just a lot to process.”

He nodded and the room fell into silence once again.

“Well on the bright side,” Bruce spoke up, “It seems the damage Hydra did to your powers was temporary. If your readings are correct, you should be at 100% in no time,” he finished with a comforting smile.

“Thanks, Bruce. That actually does make me feel a little better,” you smiled with him.

After that Bruce ran a couple more tests and then the three men were gone again. However, your father did leave you your phone which you were beyond grateful for. You were playing a random game on it when Dr. Evans came to give you a quick check-up and update before leaving. 

You had a few more hours of peace before your next visitor decided to show their face, it had to be well after sunset by now. 

There were two knocks on your door and you replied for them to come in. You locked your phone and placed it on your bed as he entered and for some reason seeing him made you lose your breath.

“Harley,” you whispered.

•

NEXT CHAPTER

[levis-hazelnut]

Summary: when you and your best friend, Hanji, were younger, you had made up stories about your dream guys - what they would look like and how you would meet. What happens when the one you had made up appears to be real?

Warning(s): suggestions of sex i guess? please do tell me if there are anymore.

Taglist: @castellandiangelo @fandom-addict19​ @20coldhearts​

Status: finished!

part 11 > part 12 (final)

series masterlist

FIVE YEARS LATER...

"So...?" I spoke, looking at Hanji who had a massive grin smeared over her face. It wasn't creepy like her usual grin, it was pure ecstasy and excitement.

She had just come to my apartment (yes, it was now mine and Levi's since she moved in with Erwin) and she burst into my room, which obviously wasn't locked, with the screech of my name. Levi was only in his boxers as he towered over my naked form, so Hanji had immediately scurried out of our room and I grumbled curses as I pulled on a bathrobe. Levi stayed in our room and I went to the living room where Hanji was acting fidgety and was grinning.

And here we are now - me waiting for her to tell me what happened.

"... ERWIN AND I ARE GETTING MARRIED!"

"What?! Really?! Oh my gosh, I'm so happy for you!!" I squealed and brought her into a hug, squeezing her tightly. "Ahh, I’m actually so excited!!!"

"I never thought I could feel this happy. I actually burst into tears when he proposed. Oh my god, I'm so excited!"

"Tch. What's going on?" Levi grumbled, entering the room, wearing just trousers, which meant the bites and hickeys I gave him on his upper body were exposed. "I didn't expect to hear pigs squealing in the living room."

"Erwin proposed to Hanji!" I told him, ignoring his insult.

"Congrats. Can you leave now?" he said blankly with his arms crossed over his chest. Obviously, he wouldn't be happy if someone just barged into his home and interrupted something.

"Levi!" I scolded with a frown as Hanji continued to smile.

"No, no, it's fine. I'm sorry. Just wanted to tell you the big news. Also, you're going to be my maid of honour, of course."

"Yeah, okay. I'm so happy for you, Hanji!" I beamed at her and walked her to the door. "By the way, can I have your keys? I don't want you to barge in here whenever."

"Yes. Sorry."

"It's fine. I should just hurry up before Levi gets all grumpy."

"Okay. I'll see you soon, (Y/N)."

"I'll try to find a day where we can spend time together. But my job is taking up my time."

"Whenever you're free, don't worry. Anyway, bye."

"Bye, Hanji."

As soon as I locked the door, I was scooped up by Levi who carried me bridal style to our bedroom. I laughed softly as he gently dropped me onto the bed.

"You're getting it twice now," he growled quietly in a husky tone.

~/~

"What about this one?" Hanji asked.

"Aww!!! This one is the best! I love it, it suits you so much and I'm sure Erwin's going to love it!" I replied, clapping my hands a couple of times.

Hanji and I were out looking for a wedding dress. We visited many shops, she tried on several dresses but none of them seemed to be the perfect one. However, the one she was wearing now was something that made her look like the perfect bride and it caused tears to gather at the brim of my eyes. Though, I stopped them from falling and Hanji gave me a sympathetic smile, embracing me.

"What's wrong?" she inquired with a light laugh.

"... I'm just so happy for you. I can't believe my best friend's getting married."

She embraced me until I calmed down, even though no tears had fallen.

Once we decided that the dress she was currently wearing was the one, she got measured and pointed out things she wanted to be altered. The worker told us that she should expect the dress to be done and will be able to pick it up in a few months, which will be around one month before the wedding.

We left the shop and decided to get something to eat since we've been walking around all day with empty stomachs.

"After this, we'll go shopping for your dress," Hanji told me after taking a bite of her burger. Yeah, she should be trying to eat healthy to make sure that she can fit into her wedding dress on the day, but she deserved it after doing so much.

"Okay," I beamed.

~/~

I laid on the sofa, on my stomach; one hand was barely touching the floor and the other was holding my phone to my ear as I waited for Levi to finish cooking dinner.

"Wait, what?" I spoke, frowning and shifting to lay on my back.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N)."

"No, but, wait. I haven't seen you in over three months. And that was the only day I was able to make time for just us two. We barely see each other now and I miss you, Eren. Also, Hanji's wedding is next month so I'm going to be even busier because she'll need my help, and I'll still have work, so I'm obviously not going to have time."

"I know. And I miss you, too, princess. But--"

"Don't try making things better by calling me 'princess'. I understand that you have work as well, and you need to go with your boss on this business trip. But why can't you just squeeze in one day for us? That's all I want."

"... I'll try," he sighed. "I'm leaving this weekend and I'll be gone for a week. Maybe I can try to take a day off as soon as I come back. Is that okay?"

"Fine..."

"Stop sulking. Be happy that I'm trying."

A small smile snuck onto my lips, replacing my pout. "How did you even know I was sulking?"

"Are you really going to ask that even though we've been friends for nearly fifteen years?"

"Damn, time goes too fast," I mumbled, as if in thought. Levi came into sight, placing two plates of food on the coffee table in front of the sofa. He tapped my legs, wordlessly asking me to move them, so I did, deciding to sit up. "Anyway, I need to go. I better see you soon."

"You will," he replied, and I could hear the smile in his voice. "Bye, princess."

"Bye," I grinned before hanging up.

"And you say you're not cheating on me with that guy," Levi murmured.

"I'm not, idiot. And he's dating Petra. So just hush and eat your food."

"I doubt you smile like that when you're talking to me on the phone."

"Baby, you know I love you and would never cheat on you with anyone, or do anything to hurt you," I told him, pecking his cheek before picking up my plate of food. "... You're so cute when you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous. Just curious."

"Mhm." I playfully rolled my eyes. "By the way, have you taken a day off of work for Hanji's wedding?"

"Yeah, and the day after because I know I wouldn't be bothered to go into work."

"Yeah, I took off three days."

"Well, I know what we can do for the extra day we're both free," Levi smirked, facing me to kiss me but I dodged it, causing his expression to morph into a frown. "What are you doing?"

"I want to eat," I responded, causing him to roll his eyes (food can be such a cockblock).

When he put his plate down on the table, I did the same so I could tackle him. Once I dominated him, I smothered his face with kisses (being the lovey-dovey person I am) and he scrunched his face up, not enjoying it as much as I was. I giggled when I stopped and got off of him, deciding to finish off my food.

"You're an idiot," he muttered as he sat up.

"Thank you, my wonderful and kind boyfriend," I replied sarcastically.  

~/~

I fixed Hanji's veil and straightened out her dress, making sure everything was fine. I then walked around her so I could see her face and my face broke into a wide grin, tears welling up for the like third time today. I was just so thrilled to see Hanji so ecstatic. And memories of when we were younger flashed through my mind, reminding when we were just immature and stupid kids that didn't know what love was. But now, she was getting married to the man she's loved for the past six years.

"(Y/N), please don't cry. You're honestly going to make me cry and we can't ruin our makeup."

I laughed softly. "Sorry. I'm fine. It's just emotional seeing your best friend getting married." I took a deep breath and didn't let the fluid spill. "I'm fine. Anyway, you look amazing. I love you and I'm happy for you."

"You look beautiful as well. I'm sure Levi will propose to you one day."

"Just the thought of that will make me faint. Okay, okay. I'm wasting your time so I'm going to go. I'll see you out there, okay?"

"Okay!" she grinned and I quickly hugged her before leaving.

I walked outside, where everyone was waiting, including Erwin who stood at the altar which was a floral arch; the flowers were a mix of white and light pink. The ceremony was being held outside on a grassy field which was part of the venue the reception was being held at. White chairs were set up on either side of a white aisle that led all the way to Erwin.

I shot the groom a reassuring smile as I made way to Levi who was at the front. I sat down next to him, which was the same row where Jean and Petra sat. Eren would sit here as well but Hanji had asked him to walk her down the aisle.

I gripped the raven's hand that rested on his lap and he gave it a small squeeze as I leaned my head on his shoulder, making sure not to ruin my hair.

People were conversing, music was playing, and everyone was waiting for the bride.

After a couple of minutes, Hanji had made her entrance, and I could see her excited expression through the veil. God, these tears won't spare me.

Hanji and Erwin had said their vows, exchanged rings and kisses as everyone celebrated for them.  

Soon after, everyone was moving inside the venue but Levi had asked me to stay outside with him for a few minutes. I didn't question it, I just assumed that he didn't want to go inside yet and wanted to spend more time where there were no people. And I wanted the same because there was obviously no fresh air inside that hall.

I wandered up and down the aisle, glancing inside at all the people through the massive windows every now and then.

"... (Y/N)?" the grey-eyed male spoke softly as my back was towards him. I hummed and turned around to look at him, only to find him kneeling down in front of me, a miniature box in his grip.

No. It can't be. Is he actually going to propose? Damn, my eyes haven't watered so much in one day before.

He inhaled and closed his eyes before quietly exhaling and revealing his beautiful eyes again, locking them with mine. "I know I barely say it, but I love you, (Y/N). I love that you're a weirdo, pervert and idiot. I love your positive energy. I love how much of a sappy idiot you are. I love your face when you're sleeping, and now that I just said that aloud, I realise it sounds creepy as hell," he said, causing me to laugh under my breath as I let him continue.

"I just love you so much, (Y/N). No one can compete with you and I wouldn't be able to think of a world without you. I don't know what you did to me, but here I am, sounding like a sappy idiot. I don't know how, but you stole my heart when we first met, even though I had never experienced something like this before. Just every time I look at you, I know that deciding to spend the rest of my life with you is the right choice. So, (Y/N) (L/N)... will you marry me?"

"... Damn, I love you so much," I whispered before raising my voice a little and saying, "Of course, I'll marry you."

A smile, which seemed both relieved and happy, settled onto his face as he slipped the ring onto my finger before standing up. I cupped his face with both of my hands and briefly kissed him before embracing him, squeezing him tightly.

I pulled away from the hug, resting my arms on his shoulders as my fingers locked behind his neck, and his arms were still wound around my waist. I gave him a tender smile and he pecked my lips, a pretty smile widening on his lips. He was so handsome and I to this day, I can’t believe that I’m lucky enough to be with him.  

We both decided to finally go inside, and as soon as we entered the hall, applauds sounded, causing us to come to a halt and glance at each other in confusion.

"CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! AHHHH!!!!" Hanji screamed and ran towards us.

"Hanji, you're a bride, you can't be crazy like this. And you could've tripped because of your dress and heels," I mildly scolded her.  

"Do you think I care about any of that?! You're engaged! I love both of you!"

"How do you even know?" Levi inquired.

"Do you not see those big-ass windows over there?" I motioned to them, where we could see the open space outside.  

"Ohh, Shorty!! You look so happy and cute, and I feel happier for you two than when I got engaged!"

"Hanji, you know I always love to fangirl with you, but today's your wedding day, so it's about you. So, go enjoy yourself. Also, everyone's looking at us and I feel uncomfortable," I told her quietly.

"Oh, okay. Sorry. But I can't wait!"

"Yeah, I know, we’ll fangirl later. Now, go to your husband."

"Okay. Bye, (Y/N)! Bye, Shorty!"

I shook my head and sighed with a smile on my lips as we began to walk again, heading to the table that our friends sat at. I rolled my eyes when they all gave us goofy grins.

"I never knew you could be such a romantic person, Levi," Sasha teased.

"I'm not."

"Well, your proposal speech seemed longer than average," Conny pointed out.

"... Because--"

"He's such a soft baby, who loves to cuddle and loves to be loved. He's like an adorable puppy and--" I told them, knowing Levi was shooting me a glare when he cut me off.

"Oi, shut it, brat."

"He's not even denying it," Jean snickered as he tried to imagine a vulnerable and loving Levi.

"Tch. I was wrong, this was the worst decision I could make," the raven muttered.

"Haha, I know you don't mean that," I beamed at him, booping his nose with my index finger.

"I can't imagine him being like that," Eren smirked.

"Yeah, because it's not true."

"Whatever you say, Levi," Farlan taunted.

"I hate you, (Y/N)."

"It didn't seem like that a few minutes ago," Isabel grinned.

"Love you, too, my adorable, little baby."

"I'm older than you, idiot."

"It's just by a couple of months. And how can I not call you a baby when you pout like that?"

"I'm not pouting. Just shut up."

Once everyone got back to their own conversations, I smirked and leaned in closer to him to whisper, "Just wanted to let you know that you look so damn hot in that tux."

"... And you look beautiful," he mumbled back, only loud enough for me to hear.

The day went on, everyone ate, people danced, and everything was joyful.

It was such a fun day with so much happiness being spread everywhere. However, towards the end of the day, all I wanted to do was relax and lie down in bed with my beloved.

And that's what happened.

Levi and I were lying down in bed later that night. And since he had claimed that he wasn't a soft baby that loves to cuddle, it would've been surprising for our friends to see Levi clinging onto me like a child and burying his face in my chest as I ran my fingers through his silky hair.

"My love?"

"Hm?"

"... If I tell you something, you have to swear that you won't freak out or break up with me."

He removed his face from my chest and looked at me. "How bad is this confession? Is it bad enough for me to break up with you just after proposing to you?"

"Well, I just think you're going to freak out and not want to be around me anymore."

"I'm scared to know, but sure, tell me."

"... About eleven years ago, when Hanji and I were thirteen, we used to make up some scenarios that included specific people. We liked to fantasize about our 'dream guy'-- You know what, I'm not going to tell you."

"You can't just start a story and not finish it. I want to know about your dream guy."

I sighed heavily. "... He looked and acted just like you, Levi," I blurted out, afraid of his reaction. He didn't say anything, just stared at me as if waiting for me to give him more of an explanation. "... Hanji made up a scenario of us meeting in uni, extremely similar to what happened in real life, and, um, yeah... I guess that's all I wanted to tell you. Please don't freak out."

"How the hell do you expect me not to freak out?" he retorted in a slightly raised voice, shooting into a sitting position. "You're telling me you made me up? And in your perspective, I'm basically like supernatural?"

"No... not really. You’re obviously just a normal human being, so it could literally all be a coincidence because you were obviously born normally and not summoned by some kind of sorcery or witchcraft."

"... That's crazy..."

"I know. I was planning on not telling you, but I just had to."

"... You and Hanji are seriously the weirdest and craziest people I've met," he huffed as he laid back down.

"I know, Levi. And you knew that from the start."

"Yet, I still fell for you - an idiot who can't grow up."

"I love you, Levi," I hummed, resting my head on his chest. "You're so much better than what I expected my dream guy to be."

a/n: it’s finally finishedddddd. thank you to all of you that stayed with me until the end of this series and i hope you enjoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it! 🥰🥺 

[spacetwiga]

leave c!phil out of bullshit 2k21 -- a not so tiny post by a new enthusiast

As someone who finds both common fanon and actual canon to be quite fun, I really think the general DSMP fandom would benefit greatly from a few things in general: the greatest, in my opinion, is learning to accept that popular fanon won’t usually be the canon you receive. Another, of course, is that POVs are golden, but with these two things being flimsy in being accepted, they are the major flaws that cause about 90% of the absolute messy takes that gain traction, oftentimes poisoning a canon character's ability to exist in the story.

My biggest beef regarding this comes from how y’all treat c!Phil, so here I am, being annoying on main side! 

TL;DR... Just because someone acted like like a guidance to others, doesn’t always mean that they'll want to be the father figure role for everyone that breathes. Similarly, pinning down a character on a single trope is wack, so don't be surprised if they grow away from it.

Baby’s first little dsmp rambling below!

(Warning: it's long as hell)

The Dream SMP plotline is not written out like most popular media. With so many moving parts in the form of daily streams and the wonderful tool of live improvisation, it makes perfect sense that such a giant cast would not always be on the same page. Adding onto that, it also makes more sense that a vast majority of the cast will be placed into supporting roles, as the story needs to have characters that serve as narrative anchors and others that function as the links in a chain, all weathering the storm that is the plot.

Screentime, of course, plays a major factor into canon exposure -- in terms of the Dream SMP, POV matters equally, if not more, too. 

It’s a pretty neat way of showing things, but in the end, the fanbase has a lovely (read: godawful /lh) way of analysing characters, particularly when it relates to how they interact with others from their fave character’s POV. The tendency to analyse things from a single character's POV is fine, but not when attempting to critique the greater whole of a conflict. Both sides, no matter how wrong they may seem to be, matter.

Adding onto the fact that everything is live, there are things that will spiral out of control, casual words being skewed and thus having the potential of a single line seemingly contradicting the entire ‘story’ that the fanbase has made. If it directly affects a fave's POV in particular, one is more likely to take offense, as bias immediately bars one from trying to see the other person's side of things.

POV is important. 

Which brings me to c!Phil, and how critics tend to ignore his perspective to prop up another character, or justify the tearing down of another.

Improvisation is both a blessing and a curse; the fanbase, however, loves to test out the latter. With it, the fanbase starts crafting tales to justify it...And so begins the mess that is c!Phil discourse.

Say it with me, folks: c!Phil is not supposed to be your fave’s fluffy father figure... unless you’re c!Wilbur!!!

😃☝🏾Dadza is good...👉🏾😎👉🏾 But fandom wants the excessive, idealized version.

-- birb 2k21

Family dynamics are generally loved for their potential for comfort, particularly those of a found family nature. Fandom in general tends to lean into them wholeheartedly, with most major bases having at least one prominent group present; SBI, of course, is no different. From fanart to popular fanfiction, it's arguably the biggest group dynamic alongside the Dream Team, and for that, a precedence was set. 

c!Phil, if he ever joined, would fix everything! All of the ‘kids’ would turn to their new mentor and everything would turn out fine! This all knowing, morally just character will chuckle at their antics and wacky hijinks will follow! Fun times, right? /s

The hope for it, however, has long since been shattered, and frankly, good for him!

To go a little ooc, cc!Phil has stated multiple times that, while he was friendly with a lot of the cast as c!Phil, his only paternal link (at least biologically) lies with c!Wilbur. Simple, right? It should be -- there are multiple clips of him saying this -- but fans choose to ignore it in their critiques, generally citing favouritism or downright neglect for the character’s flaws. From 'favoring' Techno (who, in canon, holds the highest link in friendship outside of c!Wilbur's familal link) to 'neglecting' to visit Tommy (who he barely knew, and also assumed, like many others, that he was fine), these critiques weigh heavily on the scale that judges Phil’s so called father figure trope. 

The story, however, has only leaned into (and persisted with) that for c!Wilbur alone, and adding onto it, there is an established acknowledgement from both ccs. That confirmation should hold the most weight, especially since both Phil and Wilbur seem alright with it. Even so, that familial has yet to be explored much for both characters, particularly regarding c!Phil, who has his debut (at least narratively) in a scene that feels opposite to the classic fatherly role.

c!Wilbur denounced accepting that helping hand to fall entirely into his explosive end, setting a precedence unlike most fatherly types arriving to save their kid. Usually, fandom narrative would love a close save, father and son uniting to heal and build up what was broken, but c!Phil’s entrance inks his story in failure. Angsty, right? We love angst!

And yet, as the story ticks on, the bad takes pile up.

Why? Well, I’l used to think that it is a “funny haha” type thing; a way to grieve for a character that was lost, as Alivebur was genuinely a great character. However, with the plot slowly progressing c!Phil’s story to evolve away from the ‘mentor the kids’ trope , I should have seen a storm on the horizon.

It should have been seen from the moment he stabbed c!Wilbur in the chest, but optimism is one hell of a smokescreen.

Built up fanon, however, is probably the greatest fog to ever exist.

There are lines before the button room confrontation that paint a picture of Wilbur seeking out the approval of his father (who seemed distant, at least from his POV), as well as hints to the SBI dynamic, but with the countless dismissals/retcons from CCs involved, as well as little to no consistent canon acknowledgement of this team dad role...Why base an entire hate piece of c!Phil just because popular fanon isn’t real? 

Why, for the sake of building up a well rounded character, would one place the title of a communal parental figure on a grieving father who has little attachment to the community involved, especially when most of them are too busy delving into their own issues?

Furthermore, why go for Mr. Philza Minecraft: Angel of Death, CEO of KEKW, Functioning Immortal????

It’s madness, luv, and frankly, antis cannot let c!Phil process any of his grief (or flesh out his character) without his contributions being fatherly. His role has been idealized to the point where he is not a character on his own, but an accessory to the happiness of other characters. That is not how the world works, and in a conflict riddled server like the dsmp, arguing that it should be like that is counterproductive.

c!Phil had his own shit to deal with, and as he slowly uncovers how fucked up the server actually was, he merely adapts to it. He learns to play the game by his own rules, and people become mad that he’s succeeding in his own way. It's as simple as that, particularly when referencing his initial exposure to the world he now inhabits.

c!Phil is a man who used to hear of his son’s success from the letters he received, words spinning tales of won revolutions and newfound friendships. To a father, those letters are more than enough to assume that all is well, and with it, he had no reason to check on his son, who was already old enough to be carving his path alone. For him to arrive and see just how broken his son actually was, and then, in front of faces he only vaguely knows, kill said son... There's a lot to take in.

He shouldn't have had to care about L'Manberg in those moments, not when he had his son in his arms, dead by his own goddamn weapon; his son who, to his knowledge, was doing pretty well up until he caught wind of his plot. Yet, he does.

He gives them the benefIt of the doubt, even ignoring the one person he has shown to have deep history with (c!Techno) to assist the nation in defeating the withers and rebuilding what was lost.

c!Phil stays in a nation that has seemingly brought his son right into his demise, holding in that grief to help people who he assumes have the chance to rebuild, to reform. For a moment, he trusts that the system can turn into something positive, offering to hunker down and do what he can to help. That’s the start of a fatherly type role for most -- with many expectations rising from fans to ‘fix’ all these traumatized characters.

In another plot, perhaps critics could have gotten the tropes they want from c!Phil, but to blame the character for reacting negatively to a world he barely knew, right after seeing it ruin his son and target a friend...Maybe the need for a "father figure" only stems from making their faves happy.

Characters that don't directly support your fave are not inherently awful characters. Critique based on that alone is...flimsy, really, but honestly, you can use to to show how they process things.

Which brings me to the events leading up to Doomsday, and with it, the steady rise of c!Phil’s defining traits.

Say it with me, folks: c!Phil is one of the most loyal members on the server, but loyalty doesn’t mean he's blindly following along!

😃☝🏾Butcher Army take this L👉🏾😎👉🏾 Found it in the L’Mancrater

-- birb 2k21

The butcher army arc, while nestled among the mainline story of Tommy’s exile (which I will not even mention, because those dadza takes about visiting may deserve a post on their own), allows for c!Phil to see into the minds of those who had once been with (or even against) his son’s plans. Sure, he may be witnessing them after the eve of their newfound traumas, but this is an important observation to make when comparing how easy it was to denounce his affiliation to them and side with c!Technoblade.

Unlike the new Administration, slowly dipping deeper and deeper into their own form of power hunger, c!Technoblade’s base desires had never wavered. His trust in others, however, had, still nursing the sting of a betrayal, but with no conflict in sight. He is reforming, finding comfort in his solitude, and still maintaining contact with those he trusts.

Techno's Compass, for one, is a major example of their mutual trust. Despite being on opposing territories, they are civil enough to trust each other, just like old friends.

Thus, when you take two old friends who are more than used to conflict -- one grieving and one betrayed, but both seeking neutrality -- it shouldn’t have surprised the antis that c!Phil would place c!Techno’s whereabouts (and life, mind you) over some government he barely knew. 

And yet, above all else, c!Phil starts off as a neutral party for everyone's sake, forgoing potential conquest for peace.

To c!Phil and c!Techno, it’s like fighting back to back, knowing that one can always trust the other to fend off those just waiting to take advantage of your blindspot, while also quelling the need to imagine your partner turning around and doing the same. That sort of friendship is forged through many, many hardships.

They betray what little trust he had built in them. That’s on them.

c!Phil is aware how untrusting c!Techno is, and while c!Techno feels safe enough to give his all for c!Phil, he never exploits it to get ahead, which is something L'Manbergians felt okay with doing.

They take a book out of the playbook used on c!Techno, for c!Techno.

They went after yet another person who was close to him, using their power and influence to hold an execution under the guise of seeking justice. If c!Wilbur, at least pre-corruption arc, sent letters to his father, one would at least expect some of his old ideals of freedom and fairness to leak through into his friends, right? To see those c!Phil assumed would hold similar ideals immediately skew towards a darker, brutal side, particularly in threatening others to get what they wanted...Well, shit hit the fan.

c!Phil does not have that strong relationship with any former L’Manbergians, and despite there being potential for such, it didn't work out that way; instead, however, those characters manage to mistake his kindness for weakness. They take his preferred neutrality as a way to exploit him, to gain in such a way that he lost agency...

No more Mister Nice Dadza, and honestly, he’s justified in that notion.

They’ve lost his trust, time too short to have gained that strong link like c!Techno’s or c!Wilbur’s, and with it, came the inevitable association with Doomsday.

c!Phil knew c!Techno’s intentions from the beginning -- which had only wavered into dormancy because he had grown tired of fighting, understanding that the cycle he wishes to break is not worth his efforts -- so the agreement in participating is effortless. 

c!Dream was there too, of course, but in their mutual quest for eradication, it’s made canon that c!Techno and c!Phil hid away most of their arsenal, despite seeming overprepared. They have no loyalty to c!Dream; they’re smart enough to play along, however. He was a means to an end.

There’s no lies present in their relationship; c!Phil needed someone who didn’t try and pull wool over his eyes, and c!Techno let him see.

c!Techno needed someone who wouldn't stab him in the back, and c!Phil stayed true as his hidden sword.

Which is why, as the two joined forces, ideals aligning and power synergized, they didn’t think twice about nuking the nation to bedrock. Mutually agreeing that the system needs to die, they did what they could, and they succeeded.

How cool of them, tbh LMAO.

New L’Manberg tugged too hard at the sleeping tiger’s tail; they shouldn’t have expected it to roll over.

Their openness to each other was known.

There was no need for underhanded plays, for hidden betrayals, for undisclosed words.

Their loyalties were strong.

They were in sync.

In conclusion (maybe, maybe not...this shit is long holy heck)

😃☝🏾 I may hate this analysis in 30 minutes👉🏾😎👉🏾 Or I may make a part 2. Fuck it!

-- birb 2k21

And that’s what makes c!Phil an interesting character: He tends to be critiqued in reference to chatacters who have very well wronged him, have no affiliation to him or get associated to him through popular fanon. There's a lot to cover that I haven't (from Ghostbur to the whole Tommy 'dilemna') but overall I'm digging what I have now and if I ever get more energy, I'll continue!

c!Phil enthusiasts, I hope I did you proud LMAO. It's my first forray into this side of tumblr 👉🏾👈🏾 I'm a lurker.

c!Phil antis, you can either act respectful or go argue with a wall. I got experience dealing with antis on Tumblr; I am immune to BS.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed. Signing off!

- BIRB.

[nightswithkookmin]

Imo there is enough to support the possibility of a romantic relationship, but you are writing full on narratives with impossible specificity. You know what confirmation bias is but some young impressionable people dont yet . Forgive me but misleading with ' alt facts' can hurt someone even if you dont mean it. I think you are a good person not looking to hurt anyone. But the way you postulate without any evidence makes your actions a little but like those of a charlatan. Peace and kindness

All these kind words you spew...

It feels more like an advice than a question so I'm not sure how to respond to it...

Let me just say thank you? I never quite understood what the brouhaha was about with my posts but after talking to a few people, 'on the other side' lol and reading your Ask, I think I'm starting to get a better sense of what the problem is.

Something about young impressionable minds or people?

Let the council of elders know, those are not my audience please. I cater to a much more mature audience- at least so far. The people that I interact with and engage with on my posts on and off Tumblr are very mature and not impressionable at all.

They are People with brains who can tell an opinion from fact and can engage in deep complex controversial conversations without throwing up, shedding tears or cussing through to the heavens.

If there are 'impressionable people' reading my blogs- they do so at their own risk. If you know any such people or they run to you with my theories kindly point out to them it's just theory because that's what my opinions are.

I think the best thing you can do is to advice such people to grow up if they are going to sit at the adult table or not read my posts at all. I think you need to learn to hold the right people accountable for their actions.

The best I can do in this case- to hold myself accountable, is to put up a disclaimer on my posts to let people know what it is that they are reading- something I do quite often. But I will make conscious efforts to put up those disclaimers each time henceforth. Thank you.

That I write full on narratives with impossible specificity:

Is this Latin for, 'you write fiction get the fuck outta here?' Chilee.

I don't even know what you mean by this exactly so I may not be able to respond to it to your satisfaction. Bare with me.

So what if I write fiction? What is wrong with writing fiction? Do you hate fiction writers? I don't get what the hate is with these complaints honestly. Do you want me to put up a disclaimer stating my blogs are fiction? Would that help? I would glady do it.

If it helps you sleep at night think of my blogs as fiction- a rose by any other name. I've been keeping up with Shakespeare. Lol.

I don't think it's that deep. Listen, you gotta understand that just because we both 'ship' Jikook don't mean we are on the same team...

Most alt shippers I know and who read my posts and engage with it are not even Army to begin with, for your information. They could care less about these shipping politics of yours. Have you thought about that?

Some simply ship JK and JM and support them because they believe they are members of the LGBTQ plus community not because they are part of BTS.

There are different communities out there who are also into Jikook- for very different reasons. You gotta respect that.

To you, Jikook is just a ship within BTS that may or may not be real, but to some of us they have very much outgrown that description...

They are a brand of their own, a power couple and members of the LGBTQ plus community- Gay Icons extraordinaire. I think we take very different stock in Jikook. So stop trying to fit us all into one box.

It's disrespectful to try and control the way that people perceive their OTP and support them. Jikook don't just belong to Army Jokers, they belong to different communities outside Army. Are you aware of that?

And please don't confuse the intersect. I am an alt-shipper yes but I just so happen to be an Army too. But if I wasn't an Army, I'd still pretty much 'ship' and support Jikook- make no mistake. There are quite a few of us running around these streets, you know?

So you have every right to want to gatekeep your Army Jikook- but you have to do that without infringing on other rights of other 'Jikook communities.'

Throughout my blogs I have tried to shed light on what altshipping is because I thought it would help bridge the gap but clearly that hasn't worked. Sigh.

Misleading alt facts

Do you not know what it means or you are just being ironic?👀

Why is it ok for you to believe and proclaim that JK and BigHit lied about JK dating the Tattoo artist but it's not ok for me to believe JK is telling the truth when he says he didn't date her and that BigHit saw an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone- hence why they didn't press charges against the shop for breach of privacy like they had said they were going to do. Instead, they had asked the shop to keep calm till the scandal died down on it's own?

You start your piece off with the whole, 'there is enough evidence to support a romantic relationship' between JK and the tattoo shop lady- I assume.

For context, this Ask by this anon is in response to my recent post/ answer on the tattoo girl scandal where the topic of discussion was on BigHit, JK and the tattoo artist and not Jikook perse.

A statement that is in direct conflict with JK's statement, BigHit's and the lady in questions, all denying that there was a romantic relationship between her and Jungkook- and somehow I am misleading who- who now with my theory??? Chileee.

Do you see the problem here? Double standards- the hallmark of bigotry. Lmho. You are literally doing the very thing you are accusing me of. Making confident assertions and claiming you know more about JK and the Lady's relationship and even have 'enough evidence' contrary to BigHit, JK and the Tattoo artist's statements denying the rumors- at least when I theorize I admit I'm being delusional. What's your excuse? When you say charlatan are you referring to yourself? You must be. Lmho.

Now I'm confident in my comprehension skills and intelligent enough to know when you make an assertion like this- it is your opinion and you are just stating your opinion. If you are not then honey you'd be opening yourself up to some serious litigation... goodluck I guess. Lol.

You are allowed to form an opinion about a topic. There is nothing wrong with that. If to you, JK and this person dated that is fine. I am not going to cyber bully you, stalk you, throw slurs at you, harrass you, dox you, slid into people's Dms to spread hate and lies about you just because I don't agree with your opinion. And for the record, I don't agree with your opinion. Hehehehe.

I have stated my opinion on the matter. I said I think JK and this person did hang out, go on dates but that there was no romantic sexual relationship between them because I believe that would have had much serious consequences and effects on Jikooks dynamics no matter how much they tried to keep a cool facade. Whoever felt cheated on would have acted more insecure than usual post the incident- how does this make me a charlatan? Are you saying it's wrong it have an opinion? Chileee.

Now if you can produce 'evidence' of them having sex or even kissing, then I will gladly change my mind on the topic and not sweat it.

Jikook have done way worse questionable things in 7 good years and people still don't believe they are dating. Jk hangs out with a female friend a few times in less than a month and suddenly he is dating her? Lmho.

You don't need me to tell you people are more eager to accept a heterosexual relationship than wrap their heads around the fact that two male idols are gay and in a gay relationship with eachother. Don't you just love it when homophobia meets heteronormativity and stinks? I do. Lol.

I mean this is a fandom that thinks JK is 'too touchy' and doesn't respect his boundaries- they practically swear JK is cheating on Jimin with every member any time he hugs, kisses, wings at within the group. You think they will be 'objective' about JK hanging out with a girl? Even if it happened once?

You said something about confirmation bias.... I will not touch it. Lmho.

This is not the first time JK has gone on a date with a girl. This is not the first time he has 'dated a girl', he has hand girls on his laps or whatever- what is a back hug? I think people need to stop defining Jikook's lives by their own standards. If a backhug is intimate to you. Thats you. If you think a grown ass man cannot hang out with a female friend, that's equally you.

You think if he thought it was inappropriate and risky he would do it 'in public?' Get with Kpop Idol dating culture. Lmho.

Do you know the lengths they go through to keep their relationships a secret? Especially non celebrity girlfriends? Chen from EXO got married and where is his wife? They keep their flings tighter than Trump keeps his toupee on his head. Lol.

They hide them not out of shame but out of love and the need to protect their loved ones. These idols have family members who have their restaurants and businesses shut down because they want to keep their privacy.

You think JungKook's girlfriend would- on her own, issue a statement regarding a scandal that Jungkook's agency had specifically directed her and her shop to keep quiet about and lay low till it blew away on its own? And later, started liking couple posts about her and JK? If they were dating, certainly JK would have dumped her after that move. In my opinion.

You think JK would let his fandom drag the person he is in a relationship with to the extent she loses her Job- when in his Itaewon gay pub scandal BigHit referred to the issue as his private affair immediately it happened? They could have kept the same energy with her, no?

They handled his gay pub scandal much better, with much respect and consideration for his privacy- if he dated her sorry but she mustn't have meant much to him at all. And if I were her I would have dumped him for that shit and not stay liking couple posts about us. Damn- But do you.

Taehyung was in a scandal with a girl too- did you see her liking posts and shit and going out of her way to do the most? Did you see how BigHit handled that scandal?

Nothing wrong if JK is 'dating' her or had 'dated' her and whatever person he decides he wants to be in a relationship with I will support him- that's why I support Jikook.

But your opinion is equally valid my guy. Just don't call me a charlatan for mine. You believe they dated, I believe they didn't- and to your impressionable young minds, I hope you are not selling them anything contrary to BigHit and JK's statement. That would be very irresponsible of you. Lol.

What else did you say?

Oh postulating without evidence...

Next time I write a theory based on my observations about Jikook, remind me to break off a piece of my brain and attach it to it- I guess that way people would finally understand when I say things like 'I think' 'in my opinion' 'I feel' 'I believe' that these are just my thoughts and opinions and not facts.

Let me leave you with this:

Peace and kindness. Namaste.

Signed,

GOLDY.

[everlastingfable]

a jumbled mess of my thoughts about voltron

This’ll probably be the messiest post you’ll ever read. I’m done trying to finish this and edit it into something coherent, so I’m just combining the 3 drafts I have written out into one massive post. I doubt anyone will read this whole thing, but each draft is a sort of rewrite of the last, so there’s a lot of overlap. But there’s also a lot of new thoughts too as I kept thinking about this. There’s also a lot of unfinished thoughts.

There’s mostly negativity in this btw. This fandom had/has an amazing ability in making you think that this show was utter garbage. on par with riv//erdale or s//pn, but it really wasn’t. Like many shows they had weak points, it was never perfect, but it’s much better than we’re told to remember it as.

Intro from Draft 3 because I liked the way I started it:

This is all of my thoughts about Voltron, the show itself and the fandom. I have tried to write this post out for over a year or two now, so it was originally intended to be my final thoughts about the show. Obviously, it’s evolved since then into whatever this is. There may be some things that I’ll be wrong about, because I’m not about to dig through hundreds of discourse posts and old interview videos to prove a point that I doubt anyone’s gonna care about. This will 100% be based on my thoughts, opinions, and experiences.

That said, I don’t even know how to begin to describe how much I love this show. I’m probably one of the few people who have no regrets about enjoying this show as much as I do. I’d wholeheartedly recommend watching it, because it’s genuinely a good show. Voltron did the unimaginable for me. I don’t usually enjoy sci-fi stories. I especially don’t enjoy mecha stories. Yet somehow, Voltron combined the two and made a show that I loved so much I can’t stop thinking about it even though it ended over 2 years ago.

Draft 1: thoughts about a year after it ended without rewatching any seasons since it ended

It’s been about a year since voltron ended. I never wrote my thoughts about s8/the show then so here it is now. Because I decided to wait a year I honestly don’t remember a lot of specifics. But I still have a lot to say about it. This is very long and is basically everything I have to say about this show. I love voltron. It’s been an important part of my life during college. 90% of all papers I wrote were about voltron. But as much as I love it, I won’t deny that it fell apart at the end. 

Note: I tried to categorize these thoughts so I don’t get off topic and can talk about everything fully. But because they overlap so much there’s definitely some minor repeats when I connect two parts but decided to hold off talking about it all the way until the right section.

PRODUCTION

This is something I’ve expressed concern over while it was airing, but in a span of 2 and a half years, they premiered 78 episodes. That’s a lot, especially when you consider that production for s3 started after s1 premiered. There’s a lot of really good voltron review videos out there that aren’t just “oh I’m so cool I hate voltron” but there was one that talked about how the production was a mess and the writers couldn’t make up their mind for the endgame ship. And while that doesn’t sound like an important issue, it really does show when it comes to how characters are written together and (I think) the fandom war. 

Summarizing what that video said because I don’t remember who made it, the writers/producers never made up their mind on which ship was supposed to be endgame (klance, sheith, allurance, kallura). And this really does show in the show itself. I don’t like klance. I especially hate it because of my experience with the fandom, but I won’t deny that they were sometimes written romantically. The same goes for sheith. And that’s the problem. 

I don’t think the world building parts of the show was fully developed either. Shiro was supposed to be a teen like everyone else but then he was an adult. His and keith’s relationship was honestly vague for a good while. I don’t think anyone really knew how each characters’ relationships with each other was supposed to progress. Was allurance always supposed to be endgame? Because they didn’t really interact that much until like season 6, and then it was kinda sudden from what I remember. There was very little, if at all, parts where we were shown oh allura might like lance romantically. Keith’s relationship with the main cast didn’t exist for like 3 seasons. It was messy. 

Speaking of which, keith disappeared for a good portion of the show. I assume it’s because steven yeun was busy. Which is fine but then I think about how quickly voltron came and went, I wonder why they couldn’t slow down a bit so they could still have steven voice keith during those episodes. Maybe it’s because of how much I love keith, but he honestly felt like a central character to me. 

If I think about teen titans, for example, this show also had 5 main characters. Sometimes certain characters would get a spotlight for a season, but all-in-all they were fairly equally represented. It didn’t feel like robin was the main character. But that’s how I feel about voltron. Keith, and shiro to an extent are the main characters. A good portion of the plot relies on them. Shiro got kidnapped, keith leads them to the blue lion. Shiro is the leader with keith has his right-hand man and they mostly interact with each other. So when shiro “dies” and keith takes over, it starts to feel like keith is now the main character. Now he’s the leader and the arc is about him growing into becoming the black paladin and stopping lotor, who is his main enemy. But then he disappears. 

Again this is most likely because of my bias towards keith, but the episodes after that felt lackluster. Lance didn’t really get his character growth to become a good second-in-command. Because that development was supposed to be based around keith. :P. A big part of lance’s growth is to learn to stop needing to feel that he’s better than keith. And him accepting keith as the black paladin was a huge part of it. But with shiro as the leader again lance loses that development. Keith’s not in the picture anymore, and the person in-charge was already in a leadership position and has nothing to learn by being there. 

Before I go way too deep into my thoughts about the plot/characterization, I do want to mention the animation. The fighting scenes are amazing and one of the most beautiful 2d animation I’ve seen. That is, when it is actually animated and not just the camera panning on a still image. Here’s where my biggest concern over the time comes in. 2 years is absolutely not enough time to animate that many episodes. I was genuinely worried for the animation company because it could not have been a good experience. And yes, we got more episodes sooner, the quality definitely dropped and it’s a real shame. Who knows when we’ll get another american cartoon in this style. I love this animation style but it takes time and a lot of skills to do, so not that many companies do it. I honestly wished they took their time with the show not just to get more time to animate, but also to flesh out some of the plot.

PLOT

As hunk said in one episode, they don’t linger on dramatic events that just happened. This show is very fast paced, and that’s not a bad thing. But they never took the time they needed to really feel the weight of everything that happens. Keith’s galra heritage reveal was basically swept under the rug. So was the shiro clone, lotor’s death, zarkon’s death, naxzela, and so many more. In general, that was a big problem with how the episodes went. If it wasn’t for the sheer number of fanfics covering those topics, they were really swept under the rug. It honestly kinda felt like the writers didn’t know what to do with the aftermath of their reveals. But some of these were pretty essential to the plot of the story. 

Keith’s part galra! So he doesn’t look it but there had to be obstacles with voltron forming the coalition. He’s part of the race that caused this war. I honestly think we should’ve seen that reveal become part of the plot, or what was the point of it? They could’ve just as easily wrote keith to be a regular human just like everyone else. Taking the time to add that part of his character needs to have some significance in the story. And yeah, they had krolia appear but she wasn’t really a significant character except to kinda magically fix keith’s problems. In general it felt like they forgot parts that they were foreshadowing with keith. Why could he turn purple sometimes? Did that quintessence he was hit with fix him or help him hide the galra parts? Why does he look so human? What is up with him having that quintessence sensitivity? I’m all for shows ending with some questions unanswered because sometimes it’s impossible to answer it all and let it feel natural, but this just felt like they forgot or decided it’s too much of a hassle and just ignored it.

Okay going into more specifics now, s8 was kinda meh. It especially felt bad because it came out the same day as spiderverse which had a very similar villain motivation, but objectively done better. I think honerva’s motivation came out of nowhere. We see in the flashback episode that she was so intent on getting knowledge that it literally destroyed daibazaal. So, it was established that her motivation is knowledge. Even though she lost her memory and regained it, as haggar she was still very focused on quintessence. We know she was gathering a lot of it, and maybe they said it and I forgot, but we never knew why. Family wasn’t really shown as a motivation for her. Even with lotor it didn’t seem like she wanted to be a family again, but instead was using him for her own unknown motivations. Anyways, the season felt awkward. And the new dynamic they had really needed more time. The last season should’ve expanded to be at least 2 more. It would’ve fit a lot better imo. S1-2 would have zarkon as the main villain, s3-6 would have lotor, and s7-8 would have haggar, who was also the puppeteer throughout the entire show. But she didn’t appear for s7 and her motivations didn’t really make sense in s8 so it evidently felt rushed. There were also so many major characters in s8 we needed more time to see them interact. 

So the ending with allura becoming constellations. Gonna be honest that whole last part had me confused. Especially with the fact that I barely remember what happened, why are the old paladins like trapped in the lions? I could excuse the other 4 but zarkon? Especially a zarkon that’s not corrupted? It was weird and didn’t make a whole lot of sense, and that’s all I’ll say about that. I don’t even want to try to suggest an alternative because I think that whole last half of the season is so messy it can’t be fixed. But it was so obviously pandering to the fandom it hurt. Lance getting those marks was so obviously referencing when people wanted lance to be altean in response to keith’s galra heritage. The shiro/curtis kiss was very “look see he is gay and not just because we said so” while nice, was very weak (why wasn’t keith in the shot?).

Despite my complaints, I remember liking s8. I really liked the addition of the atlas, even though it didn’t feel like we were watching voltron anymore sometimes. S7 had to be one of my favorite episodes since s2. Not to say that s7 is better or worse, but I really like it because it felt like a genre shift. I usually don’t like space sci-fi or mecha stories. Voltron somehow managed to combine the two and make me love it. S7 did not feel like either of those. First, a good half of it took place on earth. And I believe two episodes didn’t even have the main cast, and when team voltron finally made it to earth, voltron wasn’t even there until the final battle. I genuinely loved it. I think it was a very well done invasion/apocalyptic story that doesn’t get told in animation that often. But if I think about s7 with the rest of the show, it was awful. It broke up the tone the show usually had and it was a very different way of storytelling that voltron didn’t have before. It wasn’t a space sci-fi mecha story, it was an apocalyptic action story. Voltron was so unimportant they sat on a moon for episodes. It stopped becoming voltron and started becoming a spin-off. 

I do have to add that I absolutely loved the color themes in s7. We already had purple for the galra, but in s7 it was very obvious that alteans are themed blue and earth is themed with orange. I loved it so much and it was great. I do like that they gave shiro something to do. Honestly not killing him off in s2 made him an awkward character afterwards. But I didn’t like that they brought back sendak. There was no explanation for it and it wasn’t good imo. He didn’t really do anything besides conquer earth then die. Haggar was also absent the entire season which definitely didn’t help her storyline in s8 because we didn’t know what she was doing the entire time except abandoning everyone who was loyal to her. 

I’m usually not a fan of time skips, it has the tendency to gloss over character development or create glossed over recap. Honestly I wish voltron spent more time over the blade of marmora massacre or just the bom in general. They received no rest. Literally everyone part of that group died except for kolivan. Speaking of that episode, there was no explanation for how keith was able to know where macidus was about to appear and that honestly bugs me. There’s so much about keith we don’t know. He has so many abilities we were just never told. 

Again a lot of problems within team voltron is that there was never any follow up on things that happened, like keith leaving the team. He becomes the black paladin and no one bats an eye. Lance did make one comment about keith leaving but then it wasn’t ever mentioned again. I get that the writers/producers wanted the dynamic the original had, but they didn’t take the time to work up to it. Keith wasn’t a natural leader, but he suddenly is because he spent 2 years on a space whale with his mom and a space wolf. Like I mentioned earlier, voltron feels like keith is the main character but then they dropped him for a few episodes, realized that he’s important and added him back in while saying “oh he went through a time skip so he grew into the role he needs to be in now”. It feels like a cheap pay off.

I’d like to specifically talk about my thoughts on each season and work back but honestly I don’t think I can remember s3-6 separately. So they’re being chunked together. 

Lotor had the potential to be a really great villain. But he had to be foiled with keith. They have a lot of similarities that I think could’ve really played off well together. Lotor isn’t really allowed to have a leadership position. Yeah he was technically in charge while zarkon was recovering, but haggar didn’t really allow him full control. But, he was a great leader. He knew how to read his enemies and form an alliance. Meanwhile, keith had a leadership position thrusted to him, and frankly he wasn’t a good leader. He tends to keep to himself so he never really has to make decisions with a team. It could’ve been great, but shiro had to still be in the story. I’m honestly conflicted about this because on the one hand, I think it really ruined character developments for the main cast, but then I loved the clone shiro plot line. I think keeping shiro prevented keith from growing. He was able to remain dependent on shiro instead of actually bonding with the rest of the paladins. And of course he had to just go awol. Also, lance didn’t really get to have as prominent of a role as I think he could’ve had with keith. 

These seasons are also when the lions stopped being sentient robots that specifically choose their paladins to just really cool spaceships. We don’t get that level of bonding that was so prominent in s1 and 2. That’s also something I’m conflicted with. I think the lion swap was a great way for character developments, but it also removed a lot of it. It kinda made the bonding feel useless. The swap also changed the dynamic of the group. Instead of shiro and allura being co-leaders, and everyone else feeling like they’re on equal footing, it felt like Keith was the leader with lance being a needed right-hand man. Hunk and pidge were off doing their thing and allura was a leader but also not. Maybe if they had spent more time working with this dynamic it would’ve felt better. But they didn’t and it didn’t. Voltron also implied that allura was the only one that could control the castle ship, but then she goes to become a paladin and who’s driving the ship?

I do wish we could’ve gotten more about the altean colony and the reveal about lotor’s plans, but that got overshadowed and forgotten by the clone shiro reveal. Maybe I just missed it, but I wasn’t sure what the galra empire and lotor were collecting quintessence for. Was it just to make mechs to rival voltron? Lotor’s death was also very unclear. 

The coalition was a much needed thing, but I think very badly executed. They were gathering people from malls. These people are regular civilians who probably don’t know how to fight or fly a ship. I thought it was really weird that they were just getting regular people (aliens?) to sign up like they’re applying to be part of the army. But we never see them maybe join the rebel force matt is part of to learn how exactly to help. I think about avatar and how they also had a rag tag group of people to fight against the fire nation, but these weren’t just regular people living in a village. They were either warriors or very skilled benders. The voltron coalition was just regular people. That genuinely annoyed me because the voltron show just felt like those army propaganda ads, but exciting. Not to mention it was a very hard to watch episode. 

It was definitely making fun of how the fandom complains about how characters are getting reduced to a certain characteristic. But it wasn’t done in an entertaining way like the ember island players episode from atla because some of those were legit complaints (like hunk being the fat/food guy) and that stuff wasn’t resolved. Like the ember island players made fun of sokka constantly talking about meat or katara crying all the time, but the show made it very clear beforehand that these characters are much more than that. Is hunk really more than the food guy? As far as the show mentions, the only things he’s done was make the machine to help find the blue lion, and help save the balmera. All of which was in season 1. After that hunk honestly took the backseat in voltron.

I mentioned earlier, but the time skip on the space whale felt like we were cheated out of keith’s character development. I mean we got development, but we didn’t get to see it. The vlog short showed that keith believes a lot of his problems stems from not having a mom (and a dad) in his life. But instead of seeing keith learning to trust and open up to people despite having so many people in his life leaving him, we get a cute montage of him with his mom. As if it makes sense that two years with his mom would fix everything. (side note, I know a lot of people were saying how obvious it was that krolia was keith’s mom, I genuinely did not know until she said so at the end of that episode).

I’m not gonna talk about my thoughts on s1 and 2 because I’m pretty sure I live blogged those and honestly I don’t think I remember it. 

CHARACTERS

Now I’m finally talking about the characters and I’m starting off with keith as if I haven’t talked about him enough already. I love keith. He’s undeniably one of my (if not the) favorite characters ever. And he’s obviously a fandom favorite if we’re considering the two biggest ships in the fandom. Or maybe he really is just the secret main character of voltron. We know so much about him, for someone who loves keith, it’s great. We basically know his entire backstory, and yet we know no one else’s (except maybe lotor but even that’s iffy).

I never rewatched a single voltron episode since it ended, and I can’t watch any of the connected shows (meaning shows that have the same ppl that worked on it or the same fans, think dragon prince and she-ra) because the fandom was the absolute worst one I’ve ever been in and parts legit trigger me. I am fascinated with fandoms. I love it. I chose my major because it was the closest I could get to just learning about them 24/7. But the voltron fandom was so incredibly toxic and over two ships? Honestly the fandom itself was a major reason why I couldn’t get super invested in the later seasons. I get afraid when it seems like a certain ship might happen. I actually hoped that certain characters just didn’t interact. (I’m not gonna get much deeper in this because I don’t want to touch this topic with a ten-foot pole, at least not now) Aside from that, I think that the plot and characterizations for voltron got really messy post s2. The lion switch was never handled well imo, and post switch the lions lost that sentient personality that was established in the first two seasons. It also didn’t make sense aside from the writers wanted everyone in the original lions. Or at least, we never got the proper character developments into those roles. Keith left right after becoming the black paladin. 

I think another major problem with the show is how some decisions felt like pandering. I remember hearing that they didn’t kill off shiro because he was a fan favorite, so he had to stay for marketing and to make more money. But then keeping shiro alive would’ve derailed the original plot idea. I wish I could see how the story would’ve played out with shiro staying dead.

Draft 2: rewatched the show then started writing this

So I wrote a draft of this like a year ago, realized I don’t remember the show much, so I rewatched the whole show and started rewriting my thoughts.

Pre-rewatch thoughts: It was a good show that was poorly executed

Mid-rewatch thoughts: it’s a really good show that just has some weak points (the second half of lotor’s arc, team voltron’s importance in season 4-6 it feels like a lot of filler episodes until keith shows up again)

End-rewatch thoughts: it's actually a really good show. It has some weak points and some really strong points. Season 8 was confusing though. I went through most of it going yeah okay I guess that can happen.

Final verdict: it's a genuinely good show

What went wrong

It ended on its weakest season, which was also the most abstract and different season. While the main antagonist changed throughout the seasons, it still continued to be the galra empire. Even when lotor joined, the team was still fighting fractions of the galra empire. Meanwhile, season 8 didn’t have any conflict with the galra. The antagonists were honerva and the alteans, who are very different types of villains compared to the galra. There was also little build up to that change. Sure, we got to experience that briefly in season 3 when they went to the alternate reality, but I don’t think that was built up well. Also, the protagonists and the audience are just not prepared. We don’t know how the alteans work like the extent of their abilities, but we were given dozens of episodes to learn about the galra. As a result season 8 just wound up with me feeling confused and thinking “uhh sure I guess they can do that, that makes sense maybe?”

It could not pick who its protagonist is. Yeah the five humans plus allura (and coran?) are the main characters but most shows with multiple major characters still focus one one character as the protagonist. Like atla has aang, adventure time has finn, umbrella academy has five. Voltron just never picks someone and the group constantly changes too, so you end up having to not focus on any character for the sake of time. Of course not all shows do that. Teen Titans had each season focus on a particular member of the team, and tbh I was wondering if that was what they were planning for the show, especially when season 2 was so Keith focused but guess not.

It feels like they did not have the time to fully flesh out the story. Voltron came and went so incredibly fast. They had 8 seasons (technically 6 if you group up the halved seasons). But also the show only lasted 2 years. It honestly horrifies me to think of the time crunch everyone on the team was going through, especially the animators. You can see the drop in quality as there were very few scenes that involved actual animation for the middle bulk of the show. So then, how much time did they have to develop the story, in addition to execs telling them what they can and can’t do. There’s so many arcs that seemed to start then get forgotten, and I don’t blame the writers for that at all. Although I wish we could’ve learned more about Lance and the Altean sword and Keith with his apparent quintessence sensitivity, they probably just didn’t have the time to plot those out.

It had too much outside influence. Such as, the writers wanting to kill off shiro, but then being forced to keep him on the show because the execs said to. And honestly, the fandom. For example, the whole last episode with Lance getting the Altean marks (an obvious omage to ppl wanting Altean Lance).

What went right

There’s a reason why the show became so popular (aside from being a reboot of a popular 80′s show) and it’s because of the characters. I’m not about the whole “we become attached to characters because the writers did them wrong but we fans can see the potential and that’s why fan works are better” bs that I see going around this site all the time. The first season particularly wrote these characters so well. They’re relatable but also intriguing enough for you to care about what’s going to happen to them. 

Some thoughts regarding popular fandom discussions:

It’s a plot-driven show with character-focused fans

I like to think of there being two ways to tell a story: by being character-focused or plot-driven. Plot driven shows are ones like atla, young justice, legend of korra, etc. There’s a conflict that gets introduced and the story revolves around that conflict. Character-focused shows are ones like adventure time or we bare bears, they’re less concerned about a plot line and focus more on the characters interacting with their world. Of course all stories incorporate both parts, just some focus more on one than the other. So, here’s where I think a lot of the issues about voltron and the fandom comes from. Voltron is a very obviously plot-driven show but the fandom is very character-focused. I won’t deny I loved the episodes about keith. Season 4 and 5 were hard for me to watch because I missed my boy. But that’s where the arguments come from. People get upset that their fav isn’t in the spotlight

It didn’t queerbait

I understand watching a show for representation, I really do, but voltron is not that show and that's okay. Not every show has to be revolutionary in its representation of marginalized people. I won't pretend to know the harmful tropes for marginalized people. My consumption of media is not usually diverse. But I will stand by my stance that a large part of voltron's later seasons is about the casualties of war. So of course a lot of people died. I also firmly believe that the producers had a much easier time adding diversity to their own created characters than the main voltron characters, because of rights and all that complicated nonsense. So as a result the ones who were more expendable and could die were also the same characters that they could add diversity too.

I’m gonna add the definition of queerbait here so we’re all on the same page:  Queerbait is a marketing technique for fiction and entertainment in which creators hint at, but then do not actually depict, same-sex romance or other LGBTQ representation.

But here’s the thing. We were told at comic-con or one of those cons that Shiro is gay, and he had a boyfriend. They actually gave us that. Yeah it wasn’t as explicit as She-ra got, but that’s another point for later. There was no lying about it. Shiro is canonically gay, and his boyfriend was Adam. If anything, this whole thing came out of wanting Keith in a relationship with Shiro or Lance. Yes. I will admit, there are plenty of scenes between Keith and Lance, and Keith and Shiro that can be read as romantic. Someone correct me if I’m wrong but did any of the cast members tease the possibility of Kl//ance or Sh//eith (VAs don’t count, sorry but they don’t really have a say in the story)? Because unless they did, and they did repeatedly, the fandom queerbaited themselves. So many people in the fandom were so certain that Keith would be in a relationship with one of them, there was basically an all out war. Even if there was a chance, did you really think the creators (who were pretty active in early fandom days) would continue that development? It was so so toxic they were forced to shut off any possibilities of that.

In regards to minority characters

Again, I'll admit vld is not the place to go for real, proper representation. Their characters tend to be characters that happen to be a part of a minority rather than a minority character. wtf does that mean? Well, you can swap (earth) races for just about any character and it wouldn't make too much of a difference in how they act. There's some lines that wouldn't work like Lance's "I'm just a boy from Cuba" but other than that there would be no significant change. Of course this goes down to preference. Would you want a minority character whose struggles reflect those in real life and as a result be defined by that aspect of themselves, or do you want a character that just happens to be a part of a minority group but whose life is not really affected by that? 

Draft 3: months after the rewatch, mostly an attempt to reorganize the previous two drafts

I’m gonna start with the negatives just to get the ranting off my chest. Season 8 was bad. Yeah. No argument there. Although I wouldn’t say it was bad in the same way Game of Thrones and Supernatural was bad. Rather, it was an interesting and complex premise that didn’t have the build up it needed and honestly needed a few more passthroughs to iron out some parts. At worse, I felt it was confusing to the point where I just accepted whatever new worldbuilding thing they threw at me. The issue with Season 8 vs Seasons 1-7 is that Season 8 had a completely different villain, and a brand new cast dynamic. We got 7 seasons (65 episodes) developing the Galra as the villain. We got to learn who they are, their motives, how they operate, etc. Not only that, but they were pretty basic and easy to understand villains. They’re conquerors. They don’t have any sort of magic, they really just use brute force to attack and enslave the planets. In striking contrast, the Alteans in Season 8 weren’t conquerors. They didn’t care about controlling the universe. They also had magic abilities that our main characters don’t understand and didn’t explore. Season 8 had villains who could create illusions, mind control, and manipulate quintessence. The Alteans are leagues beyond the Galra in terms of complexities as an antagonist, but they didn’t get nearly enough time to be fully developed.

Also, Season 8 essentially doubled the cast size. So despite the fact that we have yet to see much of Keith-as-the-black-paladin Voltron group dynamic, now that screentime is being balanced with the MFE pilots and other Garrison characters. Essentially, there were too many characters, and too little time to flesh out the ideas of this season. A side note, Haggar’s (Honerva?) motivations were lame. I think it would’ve been much more interesting if her plans were just to continue the research she did 10,000 years ago with the rift. That would’ve also brought back the rift monsters which we never got an answer for. What even are they? Instead, her goal to have a family again is really weak. Even in the flashbacks she never showed any care for the more familial aspects of her life. It didn’t make sense for that to be her drive. It also didn’t help that Season 8 came out on like the same day as Spiderverse and the antagonists for both had the same goal, but Spiderverse did an immensely better job.

Another thing that didn’t make sense to me was Keith giving the speech to the rest of the Galra. He is not the right character to give that speech. Sure he’s Galra, but he didn’t even know for most of his life. For him to say “we” like he’s also a citizen of the Galra empire feels so weird. He never grew up with the Empire’s influence, and we never saw him experiencing Galra culture with the Blade. He learned about the Galra as an outsider, and despite the fact that he’s part Galra (he doesn’t even remotely look Galra), I don’t think that gives him the authority to say a speech like that. The speech is similar to Zuko’s at the end of ATLA, and that makes me feel like it would’ve been a lot better had Lotor said it. I think even Kolivan would’ve been a better fit than Keith. 

The more I’m writing about Season 8, the more I���m remembering just how messy and confusing it was. Additionally, the last bit of Season 8 was so obviously pandering to the fandom it gives me second-hand embarrassment. Lance getting those marks was so obviously referencing when people wanted Lance to be Altean in response to Keith's galra heritage. The Shiro getting married was just to make it more obvious that he’s gay, but had no build up. (There were definitely more but I didn’t write myself a list and I’m not rewatching that season)

Second, “Voltron queerbaited”. [this was posted before here]

Speaking of which, Voltron premiered summer of 2016 and ended in winter of 2018. That’s about 2 and a half years where they aired 78 episodes. That’s stupid fast, especially for an animated series. I’m constantly worried about what the people working on that show had to endure. For sure, Season 3 with Shiro coming back wasn’t written until at least Season 1. I recalled the execs demanding that Shiro not be dead since he was a popular character. It’s honestly concerning how little time they had to work on the show, and it unfortunately showed. In the later seasons, a lot of the shots were just still frames that moved across the scene. And the plot line with Lotor could’ve used some work. Although, I think Shiro being forced in there was also a reason for it being so shaky.

I honestly hate Seasons 4 & 5. I cannot tell you what happened because my brain keeps erasing it. Obviously, the lack of Keith had a huge impact on my opinion of those seasons, but it also felt like a whole lot of filler episodes, and not the fun ones with character development. With Keith mostly out of the picture, and Lance becoming the right hand of Voltron, that should’ve been a great time to develop Lance to become a second-in-command. To have him go through an arc where he overcomes his insecurities. It would’ve also been an amazing time to develop his and Shiro’s relationship. But we didn’t get any of that. 

I genuinely believe Keith was supposed to stay the black paladin and Shiro wasn’t supposed to come back. Keith would be an amazing foil to Lotor. They’re both half-Galra. They’ve both been given a new leadership role that they don’t want. The middle arc always felt so weak to me, and as I mentioned earlier, the Allura/Lotor interactions were awkward. It feels shoehorned in because someone has to interact with Lotor and I guess the writers decided Allura was the best option?

Season 3-6 felt like the epitome of what happens when showrunners are forced to do whatever the execs say and have no time to properly develop their story. I’ll forever be bitter at all the character and relationship development we lost because of that. We never got to see Keith really learn to open up to the team and start to trust others. But Keith still had to get to that point, which is why I assume they had the time jump for him. It’s so disappointing because we lost what could’ve been a great character development. It also made Keith being the Black Paladin again feel cheap. We didn’t get to see the struggle he had to be the leader Shiro saw he could be. He was just suddenly leading them and they worked like a proper team.

Voltron also had a lot of plot holes. Now, I don’t expect shows to answer every question, because it’s impossible to tie everything up and leave no questions unanswered in a natural way. But, there’s a lot of things that felt like the beginning of a plot line or honestly needed some answers. Like, Lance shifting his bayard to a sword. What was the point of that if it was never mentioned again? It felt like that was an important start to an arc for him that just got forgotten. Also, what was up with Keith’s quintessence sensitivity? How was he able to sense where that druid was. How did he know he could summon his bayard to him. I think the part that bugged me the most was that Keith was the only one who did that. Also, Keith’s eyes becoming slitted during his fight with Kuron was never addressed, and I really wish it was. It felt like such a throwaway moment that could’ve been interesting to explore more. Although I’m not too upset with that one as I think we were given enough to piece together a reason for it. 

[chayacat]

Devil’s Sweet Star (23)

Fandom: Dead by Daylight

Ghostface x Female Reader  

Rated M for Violence, Language and Smut  

***

Wealth. There is a lot of meaning for this word. Of course, the first thing that comes to people's minds when we talk about wealth is the financial side of the term. And that's normal! As we say, it's money that makes the world go. Because without money, we don't have anything. No house. No food, no clothes, no care, no access to knowledge... Absolutely nothing. Some manage to acquire a great wealth honestly, by working with the sweat of their hands, by continuing the family tradition or by starting his own business. Others acquire this wealth dishonestly, stealing, lying and cheating the work of others to take credit for it. And in some cases... money can solve many problems. This is how some people avoid prison, paying justice to corrupt them. Not just justice for that matter...

There is also the wealth of knowledge, which is essential to our survival and evolution. Knowledge has allowed humanity to evolve and gradually reach places and stages that until now was impossible. The thirst for knowledge and the wealth it provides can get you out of very dangerous situations. Because knowledge helps to identify what is deadly or not, how to save lives, think about a strategy that can save as many people as possible, build solid buildings, pass on this knowledge to future generations so that they can perfect it even more.

And finally... there is the wealth of the heart. The most beautiful wealth in the world. The richness of the heart is that which one acquires by being good, generous and always ready to help others. Sometimes all it takes is a kind word, a friendly smile or an outstretched hand to feed that wealth. Many people forget this wealth there in favour of money. Money doesn't really make you happy. It is to be with those we love that makes us happy.

But back to the financial aspect of wealth. As I said, money solves a lot of problems when you are rich. But sometimes she can't save you from the media pressure. And currently for a certain Hoggins... Money cannot save him from the scandal that has just erupted about him. The newspapers of the region were getting their hands in gold since the "stock market scam" as they called it in their article, had been updated. And in Roseville, the newspapers were sold like buns, rumours and debates about it filled your coffee.

“Do you realize that? This rotten Hoggins makes money by stealing and destroying its competitors illegally! this guy has no Honor or fucking dignity!” said a man, throwing his newspaper on the table.  

“The worst part is that he denies it! while the evidence is there! he can't lie and say that this e-mail he exchanged with his accomplice is fake! And there he is, free to move as he wishes, saying that he has never done anything and that all this is just bad luck! He struts around like a king!” said the woman in front of him.  

“He will eventually fall... one way or another. And if this goes on, he's even going to get shot. In a way it wouldn't be any worse. For once if Ghostface could slaughter him and McKellan... It'd make us less shit in this country.”  

“Yes, you’re right, for once, I Hoped that Ghostface kill them... Let them pay for what they have done.”

You listen to people argue and see how hateful they are towards the rich of this world. To want Hoggins dead to the point of praying that Ghostface would kill him.... That means everything. It’s true that he deserves to be punished but... not to the point of wishing him death. If Ghostface were there, and if he’s there among the customers, he must rejoice, lick his lips, enjoy himself from these words. Melina entered the café at the same time, with a big smile on her face. She heard the conversations but didn't pay attention to them.

“Hey there Beauty! How are you? Not too busy?” she said with a big smile.  

“It's fine, it's fine. I don't have a lot of people right now. But hey it's only the beginning of the day ... The biggest one is coming. How about you?” You respond posing on the counter.

“The whole newspaper is in a state of boiling between the Ghostface murders, the Hoggins scandal... It's a real furnace, we're running everywhere! Sometimes I dream of being on a beach.... in a sun lounger... a cocktail in hand. But I have to stay realistic for now and focus on the work.”

“Haha my poor Melina... Courage, once he is arrested, tried and thrown in jail, you can breathe a little more... even if there are still the Ghostface murders. But for that there is Jed to write them …"

“Speaking of Jed! Did you transform him with a magic wand? He arrived, his hair loose, in a short-sleeved t-shirt and with a much more confident look than usual! well he still has his glasses in his nose and sometimes he is shy but damn! I feel like I've seen a stranger at work!” She replied, surprised and smiling.  

“Well, I just made him buy new clothes so he would change his wardrobe a bit... But I didn't think it would have that much effect...” you respond embarrassed.

“I don't think it was any new clothes that did that. It must be good for him to have found the soulmate he had been waiting for so long. You see I told you: You were meant to meet you both. You were related! It could only have happened that way.

“Yeah, you’re right...Same as usual?”

“Same as usual.” Melina said with a wink.  

As you turn to prepare Melina's order, you hear the door open and the bell ringing. When you turn around, you see Jed, and as Melina said, he was really more serene than usual. He made you his usual angelic smile heading towards you and Melina, the latter giving him a little punch in the arm. Jed laughs, rubbing his arm before turning to you.

“Well... when we talk about the wolf... We see his tail. We were just talking about you. And you confirm Melina's claims by your presence.” you said.

“I haven't taken off the glasses yet. And then I thought if I didn't put on my new clothes, you'd sulk.” He responds smiling, before kissing you.  

“You're really cute both... My heart is melting. Is it still running in the office?” Asks Melina.

“Yeah, Everyone's in a rush with the murders and everything else. Even the boss runs everywhere. We didn't think this scandal would get so big. And the worst part is that this is just the beginning. Imagine if we find out anything else during this case.” respond Jed.

“In any case, public opinion doesn’t need more to judge him, they want him dead. Some even say that for once, they would be happy if Ghostface killed Hoggins...” you said, looking at Jed, who froze immediately upon hearing that.  

“Wow... At this point? Oh, really? let's not forget that Ghostface is a murderer not a hero. He's not much better than Hoggins. He's even worse than him, he kills while Hoggins steals from other rich people.” Said Melina.

Jed didn't say anything. You notice a strange smile on his face, a smile you've never seen before. He was looking into the void. You finish preparing Melina's order before you give it to her. The latter greeted you before leaving the café. This strange smile had not left him. What could he think of? He ends up sighing as he shakes his head before turning to you, and making you that beautiful angelic smile of his own.

“What are you thinking?” you ask.

“That either the world has fallen very low... Either he goes crazy to asks a murderer to kill someone. Even if he is a rich asshole who deserves it, I think that justice is still in the care of doing its job... At least I hope so.” Jed responds.

“You hope so?”  

“You know how the rich are. With good arguments and a good lot of money... a case can be quickly closed. But I believe in justice. I mean, with all the evidence that's been updated... if Hoggins gets away with it...”

Suddenly he got a call. It was his boss, Mr. Hembrook. And in view of Jed's face... it looked very serious. You didn't dare disturb him and once the conversation was over, he turned with a serious look.

“They found McKellan's body. It was one of the guards who discovered him in his office. Apparently, it had been several days since he had given any sign of life.” He said.

“No one has worried about it before??” You ask.

“It seems not, McKellan only calls his guards when he goes out or when it's an important meeting. But otherwise, he lives alone and no one comes. Looks like Ghostface hit a big shot. I have to go right now with Mattew. Have a good day, my love. I love you.” He replied before kissing you and leaving quickly the café.

“I love you...” You simply said.  

A lot of things jostled in your head. And to know that Ghostface had accomplished this mischief and that he had told you it was anguishing. Why did he tell you? Maybe because he knows full well that if you said anything, you'd be on board with him as an accomplice? Yes... he knows exactly what he's doing. By telling you who he has or is going to kill, he's preventing you from doing anything. Because if you tell the police, they'll want answers or worse! They'll guess you're seeing him and they'll get on board, before they throw you in jail. You're his best asset. Against your will.

Plus, as he told you... you'll owe him a "reward" for getting rid of McKellan. And that's what you wanted to push back as much as possible. Unfortunately, Ghostface has to decide otherwise. One thing's for sure, you can expect to see him at home tonight. It's full of worry that you spend the rest of your day at work. In the meantime, you start preparing a job offer to recruit an additional seller. Jed is right, you can't manage coffee on your own if its reputation keeps growing. After a while you will be overwhelmed by the influx of customers. An employee to support you would not be a refusal.

As you predicted, the afternoon was busy. And the sun was the cause. There's nothing like a good coffee or a cool drink to enjoy the warmth of the sun.  The end of the day came, and something that made you smile, the customers don't get tired to come to your shop! and that's positive. The more you innovate in your recipes and the like, the more customers will come back. If only your parents could be there to see this... In a way they see it all from heaven. And they must be happy to see you safe from need.

You close the coffee after your monitoring ritual, do some shopping to fill the cupboards and fridge, and then you go home. You see Jed's van, but you decide to leave him alone for tonight, the poor man having to be overworked and probably exhausted. You turn on the living room light and startle when you see Ghostface in your living room, standing in front of you, making your usual little hand gesture while giggling.

“Goddamnit ! You could stop coming to my house like a... Fucking ghost?” you said by going to put your shopping bags down and starting to store food.

“Nice attempt but unfortunately you still have some progress to make jokes. It seems... People want me to kill Hoggins? I confess that when I heard this, I was...how to say.... surprised. But flattered.” said Ghostface, playing with his knife.  

“And? Don't tell me you've decided to play heroes in search of repentance. You'd be the king of liars.”

“Hahaha me? A hero? No no my beautiful angel... the only hero I want to be... It's yours in bed. To hear you say my name while I make you discover a forbidden pleasure, to hear you ask again until the end of the night ... That's what I want. And I'm sure you'd like to see how God I am. Even Jed compared to me will be weak in front of my power and control.”

“Oh really? How can you say that? Have you ever seen him in action, while you masturbating from the building at the opposite? You can always dream.” you replied by finishing tidying up.

“But I'm already dreaming about it! and believe me, I don't lose a crumb. I enjoy every second of my dreams where you beg me to take you to heaven.” replied Ghostface approaching you from behind, sticking you to the wall, his hand descending to touch with a firm hand your ass.  

You make a little moan at this gesture, which made him sneer. He passed his other hand in front to unbutton your pants and drop it to the ground. you hear the sound of a zipper before you feel his crotch sticking against your underwear. He began to make small movements back and forth, before accelerating as he went along. He put a hand over your mouth, so no one can hear you. You couldn't stop yourself from moaning and you try several times to get out, to no avail.

As you felt the climax coming, he recoiled and put away his crotch while sneering. You gradually find your breath, and you had only one desire, to hit him. You get dressed quickly to face him, and even if you don't see his face, you could feel his animal gaze on you, a look that scans you.

“I'm going to make you languish a little more... just for fun. You only had a little glimpse... maybe if you're wise... You'll get the rest. Good night my sweet little star... Have a beautiful dream.” He said, before vanishing.  

You feel ashamed, defiled and angry. For him it's just a game. And he knows he's in his hand for now! What a bastard... You sigh before you go shower and change. Then you eat, watch a little TV before going to bed. The tension has not left you and it is with a ball in your stomach that you fall asleep.

He'll pay for it. Sooner or later, he'll pay for it.

And you'll enjoy making him regret it.

***

(Phew! I finished it! I hoped you’ll like it just like the others! and i see that you’re almost 50 to follow me! Thank you so much to support a little French potato like me! have a good week-end you all! See ya!)

[jawritter]

Broken Me...

Ch. 3

Summery: The Dallas Convention couldn't have come at a worse time for Jensen. His world fell apart earlier that morning, but was expected to just act like everything was normal. You and a friend were at the convention for her birthday. Life hasn't been that great for you either, but a forced meeting on stage changes two worlds. Will you be able to put this broken man back together again...

Series Warings: Cheating, shitty marriage, Danneel is a bitch, I unfortunatly have to put that as a warning because some people tend to get turnt up about it if you don’t... Smut, Crying, Suiside Attempt, brief discription of suicide attempt and recovery, depression, hints of self loathing, language. I think that’s it... Suicide Trigger warnings will be placed over each chapter!

Chapter Warnings: Online bulling, language, insecurities, mean girls. I think that’s about it..

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Word Count: 1779

A/N: BINGE READ TIME!! As always all mistakes are mine! Please do not copy my work! Feedback is gold!! Hope you all enjoy this one!!

Want More? Check out my masterlist!!

****MASTERLIST****

Jensen's POV:

"I can't believe I lost it like that man! What the hell!!" Jensen yelled, throwing his hat across the room, watching as it hit the wall with a limp thump before falling to the floor.

He’d never been so pissed off at himself in his life, the way he ran off stage like that, Y/n probably thinks she did something wrong. 

He knew she saw him upset…

He knew she saw him try to hide the fact that I was up there crying like a little bitch... 

Maybe that many shots before he got on stage wasn't such a great idea after all... 

He was just trying to get numb enough to get through this damn concert without feeling anything. That turned out well didn’t it...

"Dude stop!! You're doing a hell of a lot better than I would be doing. I would have left the convention by now, and would be a blubbering mess somewhere. As far as y/n goes. I think she's fine. I saw her taking selfies with some other fans after the concert was over. Now Richard on the other hand, he saw, he's asking questions. I know you're not ready to talk about all this to everyone, but if you're going to stay at the convention. You're going to have to tell the rest of the cast and crew what the hell is going on with you." 

Jensen knew Jared was right, but he couldn’t help the stone face that he gave him as he watched the overly tall man take a swig of his beer. 

Even though Jared has the mental maturity of a ten year old, when stuff is going down he usually is right. 

As far as Jensen was concerned he was nowhere near ready to talk about what happened between Danneel and himself, everything was still so fresh, so raw, hell it had just happened today! 

He knew he couldn’t get into telling people without breaking down, and that was NOT something he was going to do in front of everyone. 

It just isn't going to happen... 

"I know you're right, but I’m not ready to talk about this with everyone, man it all this just happened less than 12 hours ago! I haven't even had time to process it yet. I'll try, and talk to everyone in the morning if people are asking too many questions. I just can't do it tonight. I'm still a little drunk, I'm exhausted. Probably too damn exhausted to sleep, which means I’ll probably drink myself to sleep…. Don’t look at me like that Jared, I just ….need tonight okay......Put Richard and everyone else off till in the morning if they ask you any questions."

Jared fought the urge to shake his head and roll his eyes, but this was Jensen’s battle, not his, and he had to deal with all of this how he saw best. No matter how much Jared didn’t agree with it..

"Okay I can do that. I told Richard tonight that you would probably tell everyone in the morning what was going on anyway, It was the only way he would let it go. They're worried about you man."

Jensen pushed his hands through his already completely messed up hair, and stood there with his eyes closed, trying his damndest to get a hold of himself. He was tired of crying about this already, and had just happened today, hell it’s not like they were together every day of their marriage, he was practically single anyway… They never even fucking saw each other.. Why did this bother him so much?  

"Ugh Jen?" Jared said, sounding almost like a little kid afraid to tell their parents something bad.... 

"What?" 

White hot fear licked at Jensen right up his backbone, it was never good in this industry for someone to use that tone while looking at social media... 

"Uh, looks like the video of you and y/n tonight has gone almost viral." 

Video of him singing at cons did that all the time so it was no surprise to him that one of him signing with a fan had gotten a lot of attention. So Jensen knew that was just the warm up for the let down, and braced himself…

"Okay, So." 

"Well Danneel saw it and, well......" 

Jared handed Jensen the phone, and what he saw there made him nauseous, and like he’d been shot in the chest with a 12 gage full of buckshot all at once….

“That bitch..”

............................................................

Your POV:

Walking back through the door of your hotel room you fall face first on the bed. 

Exhaustion was a very real thing, but you still had a lot of adrenaline pumping through you, way too much to sleep right now. Your mind racing a thousand miles a second. Analyzing everything that had happened tonight almost to a fault. 

Did I dream that or did it really happen? 

What's going on with Jensen? 

Why was he so upset? 

Were Richard and I the only ones that noticed? 

Jared obviously saw? 

Every time you think about it  your skin would tingle where Jensen had touched you. Hell by the time the two of you hand ended the song he was seriously so close for just a moment you thought he was going to kiss you. 

Thank God he didn't... 

Cause you probably would have passed out in his arms... 

Which probably wouldn't have been a bad thing, if you were alone, and not on a stage in front of hundreds of people with cameras and smartphones. 

Not cool...

With that thought you picked up your phone, and saw literally hundreds of twitter, facebook, and Instagram notifications on your phone. 

Your eyes bulging out of your head as you scrolled through twitter, the video of Jensen and yourself had gone almost viral. 

Your head started spinning and you honestly felt like you were going to throw up. Everyone seemed to like it, that wasn't the thing. The SPN fandom was seriously awesome that way, and for the most part everyone supported each other in one way or another... 

It was the post from Danneel that shook you from your head to your toes... 

"Y/f/n!! Get your ass over here!!" You yelled toward the bathroom where she was brushing her teeth. The room was spinning slightly as you read the tweet over and over again, as if you could make it disappear from the world wide web by sheer willpower...

"What?" She yelled back, running toward the bed, a look of concern on her face. 

She knew your tone had changed from joking in the elevator to almost sheer panic. 

"What is it?" She asked, taking the phone out of your hand. 

"Dang...Poor Jensen!!" She said, staring stocked at the phone. She was staring at the phone in slack jaw shock probably like the rest of the fandom at the moment.. You knew this was just the calm before the storm though, and you were about to be under fire form some of the more hardcore fans in the fandom...

"Well he was having a harder time than what it looks like on the video." You said, she looked at you completely lost. Apparently the audience didn't catch it. A moment ago you would have been relieved, now though you wished they would have just seen him.. 

Then man was a damn good actor...   

"That part in the video that looks like he's kissing my neck….. He wasn't. He had started to cry, and was wiping his face." You mummer, guilt rocking you to your core for agreeing to sing that song with him now that you knew what was going on with him... 

"Bullshit!" She yelled. "Why didn't you tell me he was that upset!" 

“I thought it wasn't any of our business! What was going on with him was obviously not intended to be a public thing. So I kept my mouth shut out of respect." You shot back. 

Looking down at the tweet you still couldn’t believe what you were seeing was really happening..

The tweet was a repost of the video of Jensen and yourself singing. That wasn’t the problem. It was the comment above that  made you nauseous. 

Well since Jensen seems to have ALREADY moved on to basically screwing fans on a live stage!! Looks like I OWE my fans the explanation! Jensen and I are getting a DIVORCE!!! WE ARE NO LONGER TOGETHER!!  I don't know who this girl is, but baby girl RUN!! I PROMISE YOU DON'T WANT THAT!!!

---------------------------------------

A few hours later you found yourself still awake and staring at the ceiling. Sleep wasn’t going to come easy tonight no matter how you sliced it.. 

You couldn’t believe she did that.. 

She doesn't even know you!!! 

Some fans jumped to your immediate defense, telling her to go screw herself, and that didn’t happen the way the video was making it look, that it was a lot more innocent in person. 

Then there were some ‘Jensen always deserved better than you anyways’. 

That It was just a performance... Meaning nothing and she needed to get over her high and mighty act... 

Jensen was a sweetheart. He was probably totally heartbroken, and she was a bitch... 

Then there were some that were attacking you... 

"She's just a whore. He'll come crawling back." 

"He's a jackass you deserve better." 

"She wont even last with him a week." 

"She's just a side bitch."

 "She's ugly, he downgraded." 

"OMG I didn't know Jensen was into fat girls!"

They cut deeper than a stranger's opinion of you probably should have. Especially that last one. You weren't fat by any means, but you also weren't hide stretched over the bones. 

You had curves. 

Your stomach wasn't perfectly fat. 

Your thighs touched together when you walked. 

You didn't have a model body, but hell Marline Monroe was fatter than you are!! 

You and Jensen we're NOT together in any sense of the word, and by no means was he practically “Screwing you” on stage tonight..

A slight knock on the door disturbed your thoughts, and you looked over to y/f/n. 

She was still knocked out. 

So you quickly wiped away the tears that had fallen down your face, dragging yourself out of bed. You got up and looked through the peephole in the door, but all you could see was a white t-shirt. 

You unlock the door, and peck through the crack to see who was standing there at this hour in the night, and who you saw nearly knocked you on your ass for the second time tonight..

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag List: @screechingartisancashbailiff​ @thecreatiivecorner​  @aflamboyanceofgays @deanwanddamons​​ @imabitch4jensen​​ @rvgrsbrns​​ @bi-danvers0​​ @onethirstyunicorn​​ @i-love-superhero​​ @akshi8278​ @alanegaming @magssteenkamp​ @lemondropirwin​ @squirrelnotsam​ @hobby27​ @spnbaby-67​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @defenderrosetyler​ 

Binge Tag: @sarahbaker2010​

[linkysmommy]

Those Cold Nights

Fandom: It Lives, specifically written for @it-lives-week

Pairing: Noah x MC

Author’s Note: I have been so busy I honestly almost forgot about It Lives week. Then I remembered almost at the end of favorite pairing day. So, I busted this little piece out and I apologize if it’s clunky or weird, I just needed to contribute something to my beautiful pairing 🥺 Set after Noah saves MC from being a monster.

Word count: 1376

The quiet of the night shatters with the sound of a bloodcurdling scream.

For a moment, my mind is panicked. Who is it? What’s going on? Is someone being attacked?

Then I realize that the sound is coming from me.

No sooner do I realize that than the door to my room bursts open, letting warm light from the hallway filter into the darkness. Standing illuminated in the doorway is a tall man with hunched shoulders, a messy brown bedhead, and a look of panicked worry on his face. He looks different in moose pajama bottoms, no shirt, and no beanie, but Noah Marshall still has that same, worried Noah Marshall expression.

“Jaz, are you okay?” he says, rushing into the room and kneeling beside my bed.

“I… I don’t…” Any words die in my mouth. Because really, I don’t even really know what’s wrong. I woke up screaming, but I can’t even remember my dream. All I can recall is a feeling of cold emptiness, of fear, of despair, of loneliness, of—

“Jaz,” Noah says gently, and my eyes snap back into focus. He reaches for my hand and grips it tightly on top of the blankets. “It’s okay now. You’re okay now.”

Tears prick at my eyes. It’s been two days. Two days since I woke up in my own body, blinking drearily up at Noah. Two days since I began to need sleep and food and warmth again. Two days since Noah Marshall saved me from being a lonely monster in an Oregon forest and took me to his small apartment to care for me.

My body is fine, the same as before. But the scars left in my mind… that is something else entirely.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Noah asks.

I slouch against the headboard, staring emptily at the patterned quilt covering me. “There’s nothing to say. I’m just not used to being human, I guess.”

Noah squeezes my hand, but he doesn’t say anything, which I appreciate. The last thing I want are false assertions that everything will be okay and I’ll go back to normal, when that currently feels so impossible.

“Maybe I’ll be okay, someday,” I say. “But right now, I’m just… you know.” And he nods. He does know, better than anyone. He found me, helped me remember who I was, showed me love and gave me companionship like I were a real person and not a strange, supernatural creature. He never gave up on me.

“Well, if you’re feeling better, I guess I should let you keep sleeping,” he says as he stands. His hand slips from mine, and something pangs inside me.

“Wait!” I shout before he can even turn to leave. He cocks an eyebrow at me. “I don’t want to be alone,” I say, my voice barely a whisper. “Do you think you could stay?”

A warmth floods Noah’s expression and he nods. “Of course I can,” he says.

I pull the covers back for him and he slides into bed beside me. We shift for a bit, getting comfortable, and finally settle with his arms around me, my back pressed up against his chest. I can feel the rising and falling of his breathing, the warmth of his human body. All of this is so bizarre to me. I love it, but at the same time it frightens me. I became so used to the darkness, I fear that if I allow the warmth of humans to drift from me for one moment I might go back.

“What was it like?” Noah murmers into my hair.

“What? Being a monster?”

“Mmhmm.” His arms tighten around me even more and I melt into his embrace.

“It was… cold,” I say.

“Cold?”

“Yeah. And lonely. Half the time I was confused and time passed by so quickly. But other times I was alert, and miserable as I watched days pass and could do nothing.” I shudder at the memory. “But worst of all was the fear and anger that boiled up inside me. I didn’t even usually know what I was scared of or what I was angry about. I just… was always this vent of pent-up emotions, and—“ I stop talking. I don’t like thinking about this part.

A silence blankets us, and the only reason I know Noah is still awake is because of his breathing.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers.

I roll onto my other side to face him. Even in the darkness, I can see the regret in his shadowy expression. “Why are you sorry?”

“It should’ve been me that took Jane’s place.”

I reach out and place a hesitant hand on his cheek. “I chose this. Because you have suffered enough.”

He closes his eyes and leans into my hand. His voice is low and husky when he speaks. “Do you have any idea how much I suffered when I lost you?”

“I know.”

“You were my only real friend, you know,” he says. “You still are. Hell, you’re the only person I really care about.”

His eyes open, and my heart skips a beat. Suddenly, I’m very aware of how we’re in a bed together. I wanted him to stay because I was frightened, but now I’m realizing what sort of position this puts us in. Our faces are a mere inches apart, his fingers run absently along my back.

I want to kiss him. I want to hold him. For years he’s been the only person in my life, and I want to be the only person in his life. We are two lost souls, alone and afraid, who found a home in each other.

The air between us is charged, and a tingling starts inside me.

“Noah,” I say.

“Yeah?”

I brush a strand of hair from his forehead. “You’re the only person in my life too.”

And then I lean forward and kiss him.

He kisses me back.

My lips part and his tongue brushes up against my mouth. It’s soft and smooth. My heart hammers, my insides melt. I pull myself against him, and his arms tighten around me.

I can’t stop. Don’t want to stop. I am drunk with emotions and feelings coursing through me. I succumb to the moment, aware of every little thing—the way his fingertips brush across my skin, the way his tongue caresses mine, the way it feels to press our hips together. My hands tangle in his hair and he kisses me deeper, desperately, as if kissing me were like gasping for air after holding your breath.

His mouth slides to my jaw, his kisses wet and ravenous and loving. I tilt my head back and let out a groan as he kisses me lower, his lips settling on the sensitive skin right beneath my jaw. And as he kisses me, his hands memorize the shape of me. Shivers course through me and I love it but I want to kiss him more, so I grab his face, pull him back up, and kiss him again. I press myself against him as if we could meld together. I’ve never wanted anything more than I want him now.

“Jaz,” he says against my mouth.

“Yeah?” I say between kisses.

He pulls his head away, just a little bit, and regards me. I suddenly feel worried and embarrassed.

“Before we go any further, I just want to make something very clear.”

My heart pounds and I nod nervously.

“I’m in love with you, Jazmyn Park. And I have been for years. So before we do anything else, I want you to know exactly how I feel about you.”

My nervousness melts into a joy I didn’t even remember existed. I can’t keep the smile off my face. “I love you too,” I say. “I don’t think I could ever love anyone else.”

Noah’s mouth curls into a smile and he kisses me on the cheek. “In that case,” he says into my ear, “let me show you just how much I love you.”

He kisses me and caresses me and keeps me warm and loved, and when I fall back asleep that night, my dreams are filled with him. Not darkness, not cold, not emptiness. Just Noah Marshall.

My love. My life. My savior.

[eldritchteaparty]

Chapters: 13/20 Fandom: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Characters: Martin Blackwood, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives), Sasha James, Rosie Zampano, Oliver Banks, Original Elias Bouchard, Peter Lukas, Annabelle Cane, Melanie King, Georgie Barker, Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Basira Hussain Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Fix-It, Post-Canon Fix-It, Scars, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, I'll add characters and tags as they come up, Reference to injuries and blood, Character Death In Dream, Nudity (not sexual or graphic), Nightmares, Fighting

Summary: Following the events of MAG 200, Jon and Martin find themselves in a dimension very much like the one they came from--with second chances and more time.

Chapter Summary: Martin contemplates the future, now that he realizes Jon is recovering his powers. Then, when they return to work, a body is found in the tunnels beneath the archives.

Chapter 13 of my post-canon fix-it is up! Read above at AO3 or read here below.

Tumblr master post with previous chapter is here.

***

“Wake up.”

Martin opened his eyes to the immediate sensation of a headache, followed by the slightly less immediate sensation of pain in his back. On top of falling asleep against the wall, he’d probably overdone the sake a bit. Or maybe he hadn’t. Maybe he just didn’t feel good.

“Ugh.” He could tell from the light coming in through the window that the sun was just starting to come up. Jon stood in front of him, holding out his hand.

“Come on.”

Martin took the hand and got to his feet, but had to lean against the wall for balance as soon as he was up. Jon reached for him.

“I’m all right.” Martin moved Jon’s hands away.

***

It was very late when Martin woke again. He’d managed to sleep most of the pain out of his back, but his head still hurt and his mouth was dry. His back was to Jon’s side of the bed, and he assumed Jon would be gone by this time—at least in the other room, if not at work—but just as he’d decided he really was alone, he felt movement behind him.

“Hey.” His voice felt scratchy. “I didn’t think you were here.”

“I am.” Jon’s hand touched his back under the covers. “How are you?”

“I’ve been better.” He felt Jon move closer to him, and the pressure from his touch grew stronger. “No—I mean—I’m fine. I’ll be fine. You don’t have to worry about me, I’m just talking.”

Jon pulled himself closer still, until his chest was pressed against Martin’s back, and his legs were curled into the space behind Martin’s. Martin reached for Jon‘s hand in spite of himself, pulling his arm tighter.

“Do you want breakfast?” Jon asked.

“Sure. Just give me another minute and I’ll—I’ll go get it started.”

“I didn’t ask if you wanted to make it. I asked if you wanted it.”

“Oh.” He squeezed Jon’s hand. “That’s really—nice—but honestly, I don’t. Want breakfast. But thank you.”

“Ok.” They lay in silence for a few minutes before Jon spoke again. “Do you want—some time?”

“What?”

“By yourself, I mean.”

“Not particularly.” That was actually the last thing he wanted. At the same time, though he didn’t want Jon to feel like he had to stay. “But if you—”

“No.” Jon shook his head against Martin’s shoulder blades.

“Look, if—hang on.” Martin rolled over to face Jon. “What I’m trying to say is—you don’t have to keep doing this for me.”

“Doing what?”

“Acting like—well, like this is all real. Like it matters. Like—like we have a future.”

Jon lay still for a moment, then reached for Martin’s face. Martin couldn’t help it; he clasped Jon’s hand in his. He so desperately didn’t want to be alone, yet he couldn’t stop offering Jon the chance to leave.

“Martin.” Jon spoke softly, so that even if they hadn’t been alone only Martin would have heard him. “I don’t know what’s in the future, but this—us—is real.”

Martin sighed. “I don’t mean—it’s just that I feel stupid.”

“Why?”

“Well—you know, like—when I got worried about us moving in together. I wanted it to be for the right reasons and all that, blah blah blah, but really—who cares. It’s not like it’s forever because—we don’t have forever. You never thought we did.”

“It wouldn’t be any different.”

“You don’t know that though, because it’s never been any different for you.” Martin closed his eyes and concentrated on the feel of Jon’s hand on his face. “And—and you don’t even want it. It doesn’t bother you. And that just—hurts.”

Jon was silent.

“And yes, I know, I’m being incredibly selfish and it’s wrong for me to even want that, I get it—”

“It’s not wrong.” Jon’s lips closed over his. He kissed him back, but only for a moment.

“Jon, I want you to know—nothing’s changed. I’m going where you go. Wherever that is.”

“I know.”

“And whatever happens, I’ll—I’ll stay with you. Until I can’t. And then—”

“Please. Not—not now.”

Martin opened his eyes.

“And there is—there is one thing I won’t do again.” He let go of Jon to touch his chest, to touch the place his hand could find now without even searching for it.

Jon nodded. He pulled Martin’s hand away from him, and pressed his fingers to his mouth.

***

Martin was tired at work on Monday. Despite spending more time in bed than usual over the weekend, he had somehow slept much less. Melanie wasn’t in yet; Tim and Sasha were chatting in the assistants’ office when they arrived. Sasha looked up and broke away from the conversation when she saw them.

“Morning. Just so you know, maintenance just got here—they’re doing their quarterly check on the tunnels today. So if you see them around the archive—that’s why.”

Martin nodded. Since their first dinner all together with Melanie, Martin had realized—remembered—that there was nothing secret or hidden about the tunnels here at all; there never had been. Sure, they were a historical oddity, and as Melanie’s interest in them had suggested, their connection to the prison had long made them a source of rumored paranormal activity—but mostly, they were a safety liability to the Institute. So, while they were generally off limits, the maintenance crew performed regular upkeep.

He sat at his desk and tried to concentrate on something—anything—but he wasn’t very successful. There were some new requests in the system for research materials, but he wasn’t feeling particularly excited about those just yet; maybe he’d get to them later in the day. He checked on the Leitner group in the database, just in case something had gone wrong in the notification system he’d set up, but no—those were all still checked in and on the shelves.

He looked over at Jon; he seemed busy enough.

“Jon,” he called over, trying not to disrupt Sasha and Tim. “Is there—anything I can help with?”

Jon shook his head without looking up. “Not really.”

Martin slumped back into his seat. For all the futility he might have felt before, in the other world—he had never felt this completely directionless. Or useless.

“Wait,” Jon said. He started to shuffle through some of the files on his desk. “Actually, if you want to, there is something you could take a—”

“Jon, it’s fine.” Martin shook his head. “And don’t do that. Any of—what you just did.”

Jon looked at him with slight confusion, then looked back at his desk after he realized what Martin meant. He hadn’t even realized he’d been picking up Martin’s feelings. “Sorry.”

“It’s—I know.”

He had just about decided that prepping those research requests was better than sitting in the office after all when a man walked in, looking extremely pale. Martin didn’t recognize him, but the badge and lanyard around his neck indicated he was part of the maintenance team.

Sasha immediately broke off her conversation with Tim. “Can I help you?”

“I’m sorry—there’s no one at the front desk and—we need to call the police.”

“What?” Sasha straightened up and set the folder she’d been holding on Tim’s desk. “What’s going on?”

“There’s—” He wiped at his face with his hand. “We found a body down in the tunnels.”

“Oh.” Sasha’s eyes grew wide. “Oh.”

“Ma’am—I’m sorry—we really should—”

“Right, come on.” She was walking for the door, taking the man gently by the arm to go use the phone at Rosie’s desk. “Tim—get Elias. Call him or—or go find him if he doesn’t pick up.”

“Right.” Tim already had his phone in his hand and was pulling up Elias’s number.

“Oh god.” Jon was already at Martin’s side, pushing him toward the door. “Come on.”

“Jon, what’s—”

“Have either of you seen Melanie?” Sasha asked as they emerged, worry visibly spreading through her features now. The man who had come into the office was speaking into the phone next to her. “You don’t think she would have—I mean, she doesn’t even have a—wait, you’re not going down there, are you?”

“We are,” Jon said, pushing ahead. Behind them, out of the corner of his eye, Martin saw Tim head out of the office in the opposite direction.

“Jon,” Martin said, “what is—” Jon was already walking past the small maintenance crew; they had gathered outside the trapdoor that led into the tunnels and were talking in low voices to one another. They fell uncomfortably silent as they watched him head down the steps, and Martin had to pick up his pace to catch up with him.

“Hey, Jon—come on—”

“This is bad,” Jon said. “I’m—I’m sorry. I should have—”

“Jon.” Martin was still struggling to keep up with him as Jon followed the curve of the tunnel walls ahead of him. “Tell me what’s going on. It’s not Melanie, is it? Please tell me—”

“It’s not Melanie.”

Martin was relieved, but only for a moment; that meant it was someone else.

“Jon—”

“You’ll understand when you see.”

Martin started to ask Jon again to tell him when they arrived at the first junction in the tunnels, and Martin did understand. On the floor, in front of them, was the body of Elias Bouchard—exactly as it had been left when Jon had killed its most recent occupant.

“Shit.”

“Martin.” Jon turned to him and reached for both of his hands. “Whatever is about to happen—don’t forget where we are. Don’t put yourself in danger.”

“Why would I put myself in danger? What are you—”

“Please.”

“Jon, I don’t know what you’re—”

“Shh.”

Martin heard Sasha’s footsteps coming around the curve of the tunnel.

“Jon?” she called. “Martin?”

“We’re here,” Jon said flatly, just as she came into view.

She walked slowly toward them, with her eyes on the sprawled figure on the ground; the recognition registered on her face just after she reached the spot where Jon was standing.

“Oh god.” She turned toward Jon without thinking, and wound up turning into his chest, her hand over her mouth. Martin made eye contact with him over her shoulder; Jon looked as if he wanted to say something, but nothing came out. He had just raised a hand as if he were going to attempt to comfort her when she turned back toward the body.

“Who would do this? What was he even doing down here?”

Martin glanced back toward Jon again; he seemed lost in his thoughts.

“I—I don’t understand. This doesn’t make any sense. What—why is he dressed like that?” She moved as if she were going to step closer, and then thought better of it. “Oh god.”

Martin couldn’t decide what to do; he had just made up his mind to reach for her arm when they heard more footsteps coming down the tunnel hallway. Sasha gasped when they were joined by Tim and Elias.

“Elias? But I thought—”

Elias looked at her, then from her to Jon and Martin, and finally to the body.

“What is this?” he asked, looking around at all of them again. “Is this—some kind of joke?”

Tim also looked around, ultimately meeting eyes with Martin. “What’s going on?”

“I—” He couldn’t see Jon—Sasha was standing between them—but he recalled the words he had spoken right before everyone had joined them. “I don’t know.”

“Is it—real?” Elias asked, stepping even closer. For a moment, Martin thought he was going to touch the body, but he didn’t. “Look, I’m going to be completely honest with everyone. I might—I might be high right now.”

“Jesus.” Sasha held her hand to her mouth again.

“It does—it does look like me, right?”

No one answered him.

“But the eyes are wrong.” He stooped down to look into the face that Jonah Magnus had stolen for himself. “Those—those aren’t my eyes. You all see that, right? Those aren’t my eyes.”

Martin thought he had felt every kind of uncomfortable feeling there was, but this was proving him incorrect. He felt sick.

“Elias,” Tim finally spoke out. “Maybe you should—”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence, though, because the man who had first come to tell them about the body had arrived with several uniformed officers in tow.

“Don’t say anything unless you have to,” Jon said quietly, having made his way over to Martin. “Let—let me talk.”

Martin didn’t know what that meant exactly, but he thought he didn’t like it.

“All right everyone, out of the way. Let us through.” With a small tug at his sleeve from Jon, he stepped back toward the wall as Daisy and Basira made their way through the small group of officers. They all watched as Daisy knelt down next to the body, inspected it for a moment, and then frowned. Martin didn’t know anything about murder scenes, but he knew there had to be a lot wrong with this one.

“Is this where he was found? Has anyone moved him?”

No one responded, and Basira spoke up. “All right, people. She asked if anyone’s moved him.”

The man from maintenance who had brought the police down shook his head.

Daisy surveyed the group, and her eyes quickly focused on Elias. She looked back down at the body and up at him.

“Do you know him? Is he a—brother?”

Elias shook his head. “I don’t have a brother.” He started to move toward the body again, but Basira stepped forward to block his path.

“All right, everyone—let’s go.” Daisy nodded her head at an officer behind Martin, who stepped forward and began to take pictures. “Back upstairs. Come on.”

Tim fell in step with Martin and Jon.

“I don’t understand.” Martin could hear Elias talking to Sasha behind them. “Is it real? Is it a real—”

Martin glanced over at Jon, who was deep in thought again. How is this possible? He supposed the body could have come here when they did. Given that it was in the tunnels, it wasn’t surprising that no one had found it before now. What was surprising was that it seemed to be in exactly the same condition it had been when he had last seen it months ago; if he didn’t know better, it could have just happened.

Had the Eye done this? And if so—why?

When they got back out to the front office, they found Melanie there arguing with yet another officer. Rosie was standing silently a few feet behind her.

“—I’m just asking for you to tell me something. Look, are my coworkers here? I’m—” She visibly relaxed as she saw the group come into the front desk area. “Oh, thank god. Are you—”

She stopped when she saw the looks on their faces.

“Go home, Melanie,” Sasha said. “I’ll be in touch later.”

“Oh—ok.” She frowned. “Are all of you all right?”

Sasha shrugged. “Go on. You too, Rosie.”

The two women looked at each other, and did as Sasha asked.

“All right,” Daisy asked. “Who’s in charge here?”

Sasha looked at Elias, who still seemed to be in more shock than the rest of them, and sighed. “I guess—I guess we are.”

Daisy peeked into the assistant’s office. “Is that another office back there?” When Sasha confirmed, she waved another officer out, who brought Sasha and Elias back to Sasha’s office. Martin heard the door close behind them.

“You. Your work crew found the body?”

The man from maintenance nodded yes.

“All right. Get their story,” she said to the other two officers who remained. “And you three”—she indicated Martin, Tim, and Jon— “come in here with us.”

They entered the assistants’ office; the three of them sat at the conference table Sasha had been using for a desk, and Daisy and Basira stood, jotting down occasional notes. They started with some basic questions, asking about their role at the Institute and what they had been doing that morning. As they spoke, Daisy’s eyes kept settling on Jon in a way that made Martin very nervous.

Eventually she addressed Jon directly. “We came out here before, a few months ago. You weren’t here.”

Jon nodded.

She turned to Martin. “You weren’t here either.”

“No, he wasn’t.” She looked at Jon again, raising an eyebrow, before turning to Tim.

“Were these the two you had called about? That were missing?”

Tim looked at her with a disgruntled expression. “Yes. Thanks for all your help with that, by the way.”

“Were you two off together?” Daisy asked, having turned back to Jon.

“Yes.”

“Look, it—it ended up being nothing.” Tim said. “You were right.”

“I’m not asking you.” Daisy didn’t look away from Jon. “Where were you?”

Jon started to answer her, but she cut him off.

“Wait. Both of you. On three.”

What the hell. Martin really didn’t like this now; it was clear that Daisy had somehow already zeroed in on Jon.

“One—”

Shit. He grabbed on to the first thought that popped into his brain, and thought it very, very hard.

“Two—”

He hoped Jon would understand this was an appropriate time to break the rules.

“Three.”

“Visiting his grandmother,” Martin said, at the same time Jon said, “My grandmother was ill.”

“Hm.” Daisy seemed almost disappointed; obviously she didn’t know that Jon’s grandmother had passed. Martin noticed that Tim didn’t so much as blink at their story.

“It was—something of an emergency,” Jon said.

“So you two are—a couple?” Basira asked.

“Yes,” Jon answered.

“Did you know that when you reported them missing?” Daisy asked Tim, without taking her eyes off Jon.

He shrugged. “Can’t blame them for not wanting to feed the office gossip mill. Look, it really was just bad communication.”

“I see,” said Daisy. “So—tell me about this.” She drew her hand across her neck, indicating that she was asking about the scar her counterpart had left behind. “Looks like someone didn’t like you.”

Jon’s chest rose just a little faster than it had to that point; it may have been imperceptible to anyone else, but Martin saw it.

“He was attacked,” Martin said, defensive. “It wasn’t his fault.”

“Martin.” Jon spoke his name sharply.

“When did that happen?” Daisy asked, ignoring the exchange.

“Not recently,” Jon answered.

“And what about the other scars?” Basira asked, waving her hand vaguely over her face. “The—the small ones?”

“Bug bites.”

“Bug bites,” Daisy repeated.

“Yes,” Jon said acidly. “Bad ones.”

“Well,” Daisy said, closing her notebook. “I have just a few more questions, and I think perhaps—just to help things go a little more smoothly—you should come down to the station with us.” It was clear she was referring specifically to Jon.

“Really?” Basira asked. Her concern wasn’t lost on Martin.

“Wait,” Martin interrupted again. “Why? He hasn’t done anything.”

“I’m not saying he has,” Daisy answered, unbothered. “I just want to talk to him, and I find we get better cooperation there.”

“You can’t do that!” Martin was indignant. “You have no reason!”

“Martin—”

“I do have a reason.” Daisy cut off Jon’s warning outburst as she turned toward Martin. “He is a witness to a crime scene, and I have more questions. Although now I wonder if maybe you should be the one to come with us.”

Martin froze. The look in her eye wasn’t right. It hinted at what he’d seen in her when they’d finally found her in the apocalypse, right before she’d turned on Jon. He was just trying to decide what to say when she turned away from all of them, suddenly appearing uncomfortable.

“Hm.” She shook her head.

“Are you all right?” Basira asked.

“I—I’m fine.” Her actions didn’t match her words, though. She shook her head again, and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment.

“You don’t look good.” Basira put a hand on her shoulder. “Maybe—maybe call this quits for today?”

“I don’t—I don’t—ugh.” Daisy held her hand up to her forehead as she sat on Tim’s desk, which she had been standing in front of.

Martin remembered himself and looked over at Jon again; Jon had a fierce look of concentration on his face, and Martin understood.

He wouldn’t, he thought.

But he is.

“All right, come on.” Martin thought Basira looked almost equal parts relieved and worried as she took Daisy by the arm. She turned to the three of them as she began to get her up from the desk. “We have your contact information—we’ll be in touch.”

Martin waited until he heard Basira explaining the situation to the officers at the front desk on their way out to face Jon.

“What did you do?” he hissed.

“What I had to,” Jon answered through gritted teeth.

“What did you do?” Martin asked again.

“I—I showed her what Calvin Benchly experienced in his last moments. After she tracked him down.”

“Have you—have you done that before? Did you know that you could?”

“No. I guess I got lucky.”

“Lucky?” Martin was rapidly forgetting to keep his voice down. “Do you—do you know what that feels like? To have someone—”

“I do, actually,” Jon said coldly. “In fact, I know what every awful thing that can happen in the world feels like.”

Martin hesitated; he hadn’t considered that. “Then—then that’s worse, that you would do it anyway.”

Jon stood up. “Did you want to go with her?”

He started to say no, of course not, but he didn’t get it out; Jon lost his balance and began to crumple to the ground. Martin reached out and caught him, forgetting his other emotions as he pulled Jon into him for support.

“I’ve got you,” he said, not sure if Jon was even conscious to hear him. “I’ve got you.”

He lifted Jon up just long enough to get him to the sofa, where he tried to lay him down as comfortably as possible. He knelt at Jon’s side, and ran his hand over his damp hair.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“It’s all right.” Jon struggled to open his eyes. “I don’t know if—but I wasn’t going to let you—”

“Shh,” Martin picked up his hand and stroked it gently. “Rest for a bit.”

Jon closed his eyes, and soon appeared to be sleeping.

“Well.”

Martin turned his head to find Tim facing him, now sitting on the conference table.

“Tim.” He hadn’t exactly forgotten he was there, but at some point he had stopped caring.

“You need to tell me what’s going on.”

Martin looked back down at Jon.

“Martin—you looked—you looked scared of him, just now. Before he fainted.”

“I am not scared of him.” Martin dropped Jon’s hand and turned on the floor to face Tim. “I have never been scared of him. I’m—I’m scared for him.”

“Really.”

“Yes, really.”

“You know what that was about down there, don’t you?” Tim spoke quietly enough that the officers who remained in the nearby rooms wouldn’t hear. “In the tunnels. That body was real, wasn’t it? But you—you knew it wasn’t Elias. You weren’t even surprised when we showed up.”

Martin thought back—no, of course they hadn’t been surprised.

“I’ve given you a lot of time, Martin. Look—Sasha and I—we know you and Jon never went to the hospital. Well, not right after you showed up again, anyway. You did the next time, but—in Oxford. Why were you in Oxford that day? You certainly weren’t in therapy like you said.”

Martin stared at Tim, shocked. He and Sasha had known even more than Martin had realized—and they’d known it since the beginning.

“And then—all the other stuff—how did you know that guy we met? Oliver Banks? You knew exactly what he was going to say. And then—you, and Jon—sneaking around the Leitner Room—”

“Wait, how do you know that?”

“We have security cameras, Martin.”

Of course they did. Martin knew they did. He could have smacked himself.

He tried to sound reproachful. “OK, but—why were you watching us on them?”

“Because you were sneaking around.” Tim shook his head. “Look, this—today—it’s gone too far. Whatever you know—whatever you can tell us—please. It’s time.”

Martin looked over his shoulder at Jon one more time, resting peacefully.

He wondered if he would lose him after all, after everything they had been through—after everything Jon had been through. He didn’t want to.

They needed help.

“Ok,” he said simply.

“And I realize—I really do—that whatever you’ve been through must have been—”

“I said ok.”

“Oh,” Tim said. “You did. Sorry.”

“Can you—can you help me get Jon home? I don’t want him to—to be here anymore.” He swallowed. “Then I’ll tell you everything.”

[dlamp-dictator]

Allen X Wants to Like Guilty Gear Part 1: Allen X Does Not Like Guilty Gear

Folks, I tried. I really tried. For the last few years I’ve tried to like Guilty Gear. I’ve honestly been playing bits of this series since around the time Accent Core was on the PS3 store. I’ve really tried. I’ve played Accent Core Plus R, Xrd, Revelator and Rev 2, and I’ve been trying my damn hardest to like this series because I can see all the cool and fun stuff in it. I can see the cool grungy-rock meets 90s anime aesthetic. I can see how insane and cool Roman Cancel combos are. I can hear all the awesome music in the soundtracks. And I see all the blood, sweat, and tears poured into this series to make it the coolest hard-rock fighting game it wants to be and I really want to like it.

But I don’t... God, it’s Samurai Shodown all over again.

I just can’t get into this series, man. Something, some things about it keep me from fully enjoying it. Mostly some petty things that just add up and tumble the pile over, but things nonetheless. 

And... I wanted to talk about that a little. 

I wanted to just let out all my love and misgivings for the Guilty Gear in hopes of finally purging all the negative from my being, or at least write it out in a constructive manner so I can lay all my transgressions bare and maybe... possibly... actually want to purchase and play Strive on launch day.

But first, as usual, a synopsis. 

The Guilty Gear series is a fighting game developed by Arc System Works, helmed and created by Daisuke Ishiwatari, who I know as the composer of the Blazblue soundtrack, but has quite the large track record that I won’t go into here. Guilty Gear as a story focuses on the lone bounty hunter Sol Badguy, a human experiment known as a Gear, half-human, half monstrous being of science and magic. The storyline of each game tends to focus on Sol finding the humanity in his would-be marks as well as confronting the still-lingering humanity in himself as he copes with both his self-loathing and loathing the for one who made him this way, a scientist simply call That Man, or Asuka as the most recent games have shown us. The storyline itself is long and complicated but as of Strive it seems the final battle between Sol and That Man is finally at hand and the battlefield will be the United States.

Gameplay-wise, Guilty Gear is a fast-paced, combo-centric series that uses chaining attacks that can cancel into special and super moves, along with the unique Roman Cancels, which slow down time and leave your opponent open for more punishment mid-combo. Think the Chain Shift in Under Night with a bit more hangtime if you want a comparison, or the Rapid Cancel of the Blazblue series with a slowdown effect and more flash. 

And with the basics out of the way let’s talk about the specifics.

The Good Things

Of course, that isn’t to say I hate this game series. There’s a lot I like and enjoy about the Guilty Gear series that I’ll go into greater detail in a later essay, but for now I’ll give a brief mention of all the things I enjoy about it.

The Music

I was introduced to Daisuke Ishiwatari’s music through Blazblue, and while I love Blazblue music to this day I’ll also admit that it sounds very... video game-y. It doesn’t sound like something that could be listened to from anything other than a game. But Guilty Gear music sounds like actual music. I don’t mean that in an insulting way toward Blazblue, but... man does Pride and Glory sound like something you’d listen to while driving your pickup truck on the highway. Damn, does Get Down to Business sound like something an actual rock concert would play. And the Xrd soundtracks sound so good man. One Dawn, Enough is Enough, Starry Sky, Lily of Steel, they all sound so damn good. And as cheesy and over-the-top as they sound I love the LA and NY Vocals of this series. Personal favorites are Keep Yourself Alive II, Fuuga, and Suck a Sage. 

The Aesthetic

If there was one thing I didn’t really like about Blazblue it was a lot of characters, even the ones I mained, had an aesthetic I just couldn’t latch onto. A weird mix of fantasy, eastern, and early-2000s action anime that just didn’t click with me save for Hibiki Kohaku. Guilty Gear is a lot more my speed with a more rugged look to their characters. Something about a lot these characters just have that good mix of grunge and 90s fashion I love. Some of my favorites being Answer, Ramlethal, and Jam.

Tension

While there’s a lot about Guilty Gear��s mechanics I find unappealing and convoluted I love how building and using meter works in this series, specific in Accent Core Plus R. Dust being a sort of EX button works really well in this game since I personally feel like Dust is kind of under-used a lot of the time save for the universal sweep.  This point probably won’t get an entire essay covering it, but I did at least want to give it a shoutout.

Setting

This point will be getting its own essay, but to keep things short and simple I like the setting of Guilty Gear, medieval-esque magitech with a dash a modern-world flavor just hits with real well with me. Like a nice mix of Under Night and Tales of Symphonia.

And that’s it for the good stuff, at least the good stuff I can make into later essays. Now let’s talk about...

The Conflicting Things

Really, my issues with Guilty Gear are similar to Samurai Shodown and Granblue Fantasy Versus, where I love those game aesthetically, but actually playing them is another matter. However, unlike those two games my issues are almost the opposite. Where Samsho and GBVS had a slower and more fundamentals approach that didn’t appeal to my cocaine-esque addiction to combo chains, special cancels and air-dashing, Guilty Gear is almost too fast for my taste, or at least a different kind of fast. This is something very hard to explain. If you've read my initial thoughts on Crystar then you have a good idea about what I mean. This is something very hard to explain to people that haven’t played the game and is likely more a technical part of Guilty Gear’s mechanics that I can explain with an real sophistication aside from saying ‘this game feels weird,’ but... I’m gonna’ try.

The Button Layout

Alright, this is something I can actually explain. I’m... not a fan of 5-button fighters. Really, anything more than 4 buttons is hard for me to grasp. This is mostly due to the fact that I use a standard dualshock controller when playing fighting games. I frankly don’t have money for an arcade stick nor the patience to figure our how to work with one, so I’m stuck with the PS4 controller. For games like Blazblue, Granblue, and even stuff like Tekken and Dead or Alive this works out fine, as even when those games have a fifth or six button they usually aren’t heavily involved in combos or can be supplemented by other means. But games like Street Fighter, Skullgirls, and Guilty Gear the fifth and sixth button are used very liberally. Granted, Dust isn’t used as often as heavy punch, but it’s still a key button used for sweeps and air combos, turning my hands into pretzels as a results. 

I don’t you dare tell me to just get use to it or get good. I’m a Carl main. I’m used multi-tasking with my hands.

...

...

...

Dammit, that came out wrong, but you know what I mean. 

Anyway, a smaller issue I have is just the way Punch, Kick, Slash, and Heavy Slash are mapped both on the controller and on the display screen. It just doesn’t mesh well with me where they’re mapped, and switching the button layout honestly makes it worse because the display proper doesn’t adjust for where I map the buttons.

Roman Cancels

Roman Cancels are just a tool I don’t think I’ll ever find a good use for, or at least something that would take me a long time to use optimally. Like I said before, they’re basically Chain Shift with more hangtime, but it feels like the Rapid Cancel in the sense that I have to move very quickly after activating or I outright lose the combo, and unlike Chain Shift and Rapid Cancel where I can just ignore the mechanic, keep the meter, and focus on small, easy combos with good defense, Roman Cancels feel somewhat needed to do decent damage in this game. Or at least the trial mode really thinks so.

From what I’ve seen of Strive’s mechanics I think Roman Cancels will be a little easier for me to conceptualize and use, but... I dunno’, I’m not feeling too confident on that. 

I do recognize that this issue is a me problem, but it’s a probably I have nonetheless.

The Look

Specifically on Xrd, something about the 2.5D makes certain movements a little hard to read and judge. This isn’t something I can really describe that well, but something about that game specifically feels weird. Like the cell-shaded, 3D contrasts a little with the feel of motion in that game. I have a similar issue with the recent Street Fighter games as well. Again, it’s nothing concrete and it’s honestly indescribable for someone of my knowledge on the subject, but... something feels awkward when I’m playing this game in a serious light.

The Fandom

This has nothing to do with the game, but tends to create cracks in me when I play this game. As a guy that got into Arc System Works games via Blazblue Calamity Trigger, seeing a lot of the Guilty Gear be demeaning and insulting toward the Blazblue Community has always rubbed me the wrong way and I have a difficult time getting into this series in a more serious way because of it. I know this is likely a vocal minority, I know this isn’t every Guilty Gear fan, but it feels like a vocal side of Guilty Gear community keeps thinking that Guilty Gear is some sort of antithesis to anime air-dashers like Blazblue, as if the grungy rock aesthetic cancels out the anime aesthetic of Blazblue. This has always annoyed me, but it tends to crop up everytime someone brings up Guilty Gear designs versus Blazblue designs and while I find the idea of discussing and comparing the two interesting it always seems to devolve into insulting Blazblue.

Though to give a short version of my opinion this: I don’t want to hear shit about Blazblue waifus when Baiken mains don’t even play Baiken. And I especially don’t want to hear shit about Blazblue’s pandering fanservice when Dizzy, Ram, and Elphelt exist.

About Strive

I think that covers the main things keeping me from liking Guilty Gear, or at least playing Guilty Gear. So I want to talk about Strive, the next game coming up. This will also be something that will be expanded on in a later essay, but for now I’ll say I’m cautiously excited about Strive coming out and I look forward to at least giving it a shot. Though to give some rapid-fire bullet points on the matter... 

Overall, I think Strive looks great, the presentations is fantastic and I love a lot of the new designs for the characters, though I hear that opinion is actually contentious in the fandom.

I heard that Strive is gonna’ have a dub again. I’m... curious, but I’ll save my opinions for a different essay. Long story short, if they get a new director or the old director puts more care into the performances I’ll be happy. I did overall like Xrd’s original dub barring a few performances.

So far everything about Strive looks cool, but it’s still Guilty Gear, so... debating on if I wanna’ get that day 1. Especially since I still only have a base PS4. I’ve no interest in getting the new hotness for at least another year and gamers are self-centered demons that mock those using lesser hardware. That isn’t a Guilty Gear thing, it’s just a gamer thing.

For those wondering, if I pick of this game I’ll probably main Chipp, Ram, and maybe Giovanna.

I have mixed feelings about the soundtrack. Save for Smell of the Game the lyrics in the themes I’ve hard are a mix of okay to... not okay. Hope they have versions without the lyrics similar to Raven in Rev 2.

And I think that’s everything. Next... probably another essay about Arknights.

[prolestariwrites]

Interlude

Fandom: Devil May Cry Rating: T Characters: Nero, Kyrie, Nico   Tags: Canon-related, Hurt/Comfort, Angst Words: 1918 

Summary: Nero wakes up in the hospital to find his arm is gone and his future thrown into chaos. But there are two people there to help in completely opposite ways.

Just a oneshot about what I think happened after Nero is hurt pre-DMC5. Thanks to @solynacea​ for feedback on this. Please enjoy.

Also posted on AO3

Freak. 

“No…”

You’re evil. You’re a demon.

“Please… Kyrie…”

Do you even know what you are?

“Kyrie!”

“I’m here, I’m here. Shhh, it’s okay.” Hands press to his forehead, soothing and soft. “You’re safe, it’s okay.”

“Kyrie?” Nero opens his eyes, the too harsh light making him wince, and he peeks through his lashes as Kyrie’s face swims into view. “What happened?”

She doesn’t answer, instead wrapping her arms around him, leaning over to press her face to his neck. He can feel her quietly crying, the sound making his stomach turn the way it always does. He frowns in confusion, trying to lift his own arms so he can hug her close. But his entire body hurts all of a sudden, his limbs too heavy, so he turns his head to rub his cheek against her hair with what little strength he has. “Hey, it’s okay,” he sighs. His voice cracks, his throat dry. “What happened? Can you tell me?”

Kyrie lifts her head, tears rolling down her face as she smiles. Nero realizes he is laying in a bed as she strokes his cheek, but it’s not his own. Hospital, he immediately thinks. The smell of disinfectant fills his nose and he groans internally at how much this will cost. 

“You were attacked,” she whispers.

“A demon?”

She shakes her head. “I don’t know. It was gone. You were screaming…”

Her voice fades, and Nero swallows uncomfortably. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Bits and pieces come back in images: he was in the garage, working on the van. A silhouette in the door. Kyrie cooking something inside.

Then the rest comes, and he jerks out of Kyrie’s touch to look, his eyes widening and a strangled kind of sound escaping him when he sees bandages where his cursed arm should be. “You’re okay,” Kyrie says in a rush, her hands still trying to soothe him. Nero can feel the blood rushing from his face as he stares. “You’re alive. We thought you were dead, there was so much blood. But you’re alive.”

“What the fuck?” he breathes. He remembers the strange man who had stumbled in, looking for change and maybe a meal, and his arm glowing as warning bells went off in his head. Kyrie called his name and he reached out to tell her to stay out—then it grabbed him.

Nero’s back spasms in pain as he remembers flying through the air and hitting the shelves. “It’s okay,” Kyrie murmurs. Gently she pulls his face towards her, and Nero blinks up at her. “Hey. Stay with me,” she says, firmly this time.

“I’m… I’m fine,” he says, his heart beating too fast.

“The doctors stopped the bleeding. You’re healing fine. They gave you stuff to keep you asleep so you wouldn’t be in pain, so we were just waiting for you to wake up.” Kyrie’s smile seems genuine this time, and he tries to settle back and keep it together in front of her. “Please rest,” she says quietly. “I’m going to let the nurse know you’re awake, and see if I can get Dante.”

“Dante?” Nero frowns in confusion.

“Yeah. I called him when you got here, but I haven’t been able to reach him.” 

“Why would you call him?”

Kyrie sighs, leaning over to kiss his cheek. “I’m sure he’d want to know.”

She stands and leaves the room, keeping the door open. Nero glances around, taking in the stark white walls and the ugly yellow tile. She probably took him to the new hospital in Fortuna, built after the Order had left their main one damaged beyond repair. His mind starts to spin a million miles a minute, overwhelmed with questions. How long has he been here, asleep? Did Kyrie drive, or did she call an ambulance? She must have been so scared… Nero makes a fist, anger pulsing in his veins at the idea. He swore to protect her, and after they had been used by the Order, he had promised himself that she’d never be that afraid again. Now he is injured, in the hospital, and she has to take care of him and everything else on her own.

He closes his eyes, trying to fight off panic. What the hell is he going to do now, with only one arm? He can’t fight demons this way, and without that he’s out of a job. Once Dante finds out, he’s not gonna let him run the mobile branch, and he can forget his contracts in Fortuna. Why the hell would something just take just his arm?

Freak… Demon… 

No, that was a dream, the same one that he has always had ever since he was a kid. Nero groans as he tries to think, tries to remember, and the nightmare that he was having before he woke up swirls through his thoughts, making it a jumble, scattered in pieces from whatever the doctors had given him. He remembers a blue light, cutting through the air itself. What even was that? It looked like some kind of portal, made using his arm. Only his arm had… changed somehow?

What demon would know the truth about him? Hell, he didn’t even fully understand it.

“Hey, you really are awake!”

He jerks out of his thoughts to see Nico standing at the door, her hands behind her back. She grins and steps forward, pulling a bouquet of flowers out to show him. “Brought you these. They’re nice, aren’t they?”

She presses her face to the flowers and takes a deep breath as she smells them, and Nero asks, “What are you doing here?”

Nico huffs. “Some gratitude. You scared us half to death, you know that?” She puts the flowers on the bed tray and wheels it away so she can drag a chair over. “Never saw a guy lose an arm before. Does that happen a lot?”

She plops in the chair and stretches her legs out. “Yeah, all the time,” Nero hisses. “I just grow a new one each time.”

Her eyes pop wide. “Get the hell out of here!”

“Nico, what do you want?” He feels exhausted, but she usually leaves him tired and agitated on a good day.

“I told you, I wanted to see how you were.” She actually seems serious, tilting her head to examine him. “How do you feel?”

“Like shit,” Nero confesses. “I’m not in pain, just like I got hit by a train. Then the train ripped off my arm.”

Nico snorts. “So dramatic. Doctor says you’re healing fine. Really fast too. You uh…” She nudges his bed with her foot. “You always heal like that? Faster than a human does? Normal one anyway.”

Nero shifts uncomfortably. “I mean, I’ve always been—”

“We never talked about that arm of yours,” she interrupts. He shoots her a warning look, but Nico ignores him, her hands moving as she talks. “You know, how it was all weird and blue and glowy.”

“It’s gone now,” he growls. “No need to talk about it.”

“Right.” She pulls out a cigarette and slides it between her lips, but she only leaves it hanging there, thankfully not lighting it. They fall into an uncomfortable silence, and Nero scowls at the ceiling, wondering how he can tell her to get lost without being too rude. He really is tired now, and can feel sleep pressing on his head, fighting a bit to keep his eyes open. Before he can think of something to say, she asks, “So what’s the plan now?”

Nero rolls his eyes. “I have no idea. Why, you got one?”

“Sure do.” She leans forward, and he eyes her suspiciously as she uses two fingers to pluck the cigarette out before propping her elbows on her knees. “You know that research you gave me? Mentioned you in it.” Nero frowns as she nods towards his bandaged arm. “That too. Got some ideas. Doctors probably will want to give you a prosthetic, but I think I can do better. Make you better. Plus, you’ll need help. Kyrie can’t run that wild household of yours on her own while you recover. And I need a place to stay.” She grins at him. “Interested?”

Nico waits as he considers. They had just met a couple of weeks before, and honestly he found her pretty annoying. Knowing she was Agnus’ daughter didn’t help things, either. Yet Kyrie had embraced her like she was some long-lost cousin or something despite what Agnus had done to them, and to Credo. As is often the case, Nero makes his decision based on what he thinks Kyrie would do, so he nods slowly. “Maybe, yeah. What do you want?”

“We go half,” she says. “You got this Devil May Cry thing going on, right? I’ll make your weapons, help you out. I’m an excellent driver, and I got a real sweet van.”

Nero grits his teeth. He already gives Dante a cut, and if Nico takes a part too, that means less money. But he could use the help, especially now. “Not half. I’ll give you ten percent. I’m the one busting my ass and risking my life.”

Nico laughs. “Twenty-five percent. And you pay for the special gadgets separately.”

“Okay. But you gotta do something for me.”

She shrugs. “Sure, what?”

“Kyrie is trying to get in touch with Dante. He’s the one who is in charge of the Devil May Cry.” Nico’s brows go up in surprise. “I don’t want him to know what happened. Not yet, anyway. It’s uh… bad for business. Can you keep her from calling him?”

Nico stares at him for a minute before blinking out of a daze. “Dante, huh? Dante who?”

“Does it matter?” he snaps.

They gaze at each other for a long moment, and Nero can feel the secrets growing. But he’s not ready to tell her everything: his past, his arm, what really happened in Fortuna. And he for damn sure isn’t ready to explain who Dante is, especially since Nero doesn’t understand it himself. It’s been three years since Fortuna was wasted by the Order, and in that time getting to know Dante and working with him has only made things more confusing, made more questions that needed answers. But deep down he cares what Dante thinks of him, and has kept from asking those questions in case they were met with derision, or worse, led to Dante ditching him. Plus, he figured if there was something worth knowing, Dante would have told him.

More secrets, he thinks, and his head aches as he studies Nico. Does she recognize his annoyance for the fear it actually is? Her eyes are laced with suspicion, and he can see the wheels turning in her head, like she wants to ask something.

“Guess not,” Nico finally says, but there is something weird in her voice he can’t pinpoint. “Yeah, I’ll make sure he stays away.”

“Good.” With that decided, he sighs and closes his eyes. “You really think you can make me a better fighter?”

“Hell yeah!” she cries excitedly, and Nero chuckles. “My old man was an asshat, but he left some good notes. And I know how to make a damn weapon. Combine the two and you got some real work of art shit going on. You ever heard of a Devil Arm?”

“No,” he sighs, sleep pulling him under as he listens to her drone on about demons and guns.