#is this something picard would say because it definitely sounds like something picard would say

[steakout-05]

i have crafted an ancient relic

(based off this TF2 misunderstandings meme)

[elbiotipo]

Apologies if someone has already asked you this, but what’s the fixation with coffee industry in sci-fi settings in particular? I definitely get the potatoes thing, but I didn’t get the point of contention sci-fi coffee. Understanding the sheer diversity of sci-fi as a genre - couldn’t we still say that most human-centric sci-fi settings either have a) more or less the same industry we have now, however dystopian or utopian the setting is, and the characters would have brought a certain amount of coffee for whatever interstellar trip theyre on, or b) food or general replication technology where you can just go up to a machine and it synthesises a molecularly perfect cup of coffee? Compared to how genuinely mind-boggling the idea of a southern hemisphere Andean crop existing apparently endemically in a northern hemisphere European climate, sci-fi coffee seems like something that can be way more easily explained or even just. Assumed or implied. Otherwise we might as well start asking where starship captains get bread, or soap or pillows or anything really. (Should we start asking about that???) Thanks for your time if you choose to answer this, this ask is meant in good faith and as a fellow worldbuilding enthusiast I am just plainly curious what your thoughts are!

Fixation? I wouldn't call it like that. I used coffee as an example, much like potatoes, because it has a really interesting and important history behind it that many people don't know about it because it's considered just a household item. In science fiction, it's natural to associate coffee with hardworking space captains, it feels natural that someone so busy would enjoy it (there's also Picard with tea, no major characters with yerba mate unfortunately, but I'm sure there are, even if they're just mine) , but you say it's just "assumed or implied", and it still somehow shows up everywhere.

The fact is that coffee is a luxury good, expensive to produce and that is only considered a household item by us because of a whole industrial, economical and social history behind it. It's something very unique to... Earth, let's say. Which gets the mind wondering when it shows up so far from Earth. Indeed, WHERE do they get their coffee from? How expensive is it to import it from Earth, or if there's not an Earth, what's the replacement, and why do you still call it coffee if it's something different? Are there worlds that produce it? What are those like, what is the coffee sold like? Do they worry they'll run out if they packed enough for the trip? I did say I want "ethnobotanical papers" but just some throwaway lines about this give a big flavor to the story, one I wouldn't find elsewhere. Just some lines like "the coffee from Saudade Station just isn't the same as from Earth", as silly as they sound, give your world a depth that I relish.

You say if we should start asking where they get bread or soap or pillows? Absolutely. Do you know how expensive would have to lift flour to orbit, or have whole space habitats to grow grain? It's not something you can grow in the hydroponics section of a tiny ship, for example. These are all real concerns that space agencies have been working with for decades in the event for future space settlement, and they are very fascinating to think about. Most sci-fi does tend to even hand-wave the cost of lifting stuff to orbit by making spaceships act like airplanes, but the fact is there still. And replicators are the definition of a disruptive technology, there is literally nothing more disruptive to a story that a replicator that can create anything on demand. A society with widely-available molecular replicators would be so incredibly different from our own that even the fact of getting up to drink some coffee would be questionable to me. Unless you're writing an episode of, I dunno, Atomic Betty, I expect a writer to give at least care a little to adress that.

All these questions are important not because of pedantry or because I find them fun to talk about (I really do), but because they define the setting and the world your characters live in, and so they give them more personality and depth, but also, it's the core of science fiction to me: how science and technology change a society, and the stories that can be told with that, and those stories do include how the world works. If you don't adress that, it's just interchangable with any other genre.

[joshuaalbert]

Beverly Crusher or Tuvok for the ask game

ironically this took me a while because i was participating in an insane about the crusher family moment so severe i am lightheaded. anyway. i feel like i dont have a ton of meaningful things to say about tuvok yet except "i generally like him i think he has a lot of interesting moments i just wish they didnt regress his characterization gains with such regularity" but i do enjoy him and maybe i will come back to this when i have more coherent thoughts

favorite thing about them

love her confidence tbh like she knows she can do it all and do a great job of it. she has such a wide variety of skills between her actual job and her hobbies and i think that's very fun to see. i also think she's spectacular in the Some Fuckshit Is Happening To The Enterprise mystery episodes like im glad they gave those to her a lot bc it works within her skillset of like. ok this is how i would go about examining a scientific hypothesis this is how i would break the problem down to something manageable so i think that's neat, and i also just think gates mcfadden is very good at carrying the tension of those episodes.

least favorite thing about them

fucking TERMINAL picard disease. remember me is like the prime example of it to me to the point where i literally rewrote part of the script one time but just. so many of her plotlines get taken over to instead be about her thing with picard in ways that don't actually progress anything. and so many of the things that should be about her and wesley end up being about picard and wesley. and like clearly these are importantly dynamics in all their lives but it feels like there's a lot that gets sacrificed in the name of putting picard at the center

also i do think they have a problem with like. not letting her be significantly wrong a lot? i noticed this in like s6 but the plot frequently kind of curves to make sure she's right about things like with both ethics and suspicions they introduce new elements of the plot to be like yeah actually she did not do anything wrong and i just think that holds a character back.

favorite line

"If there's nothing wrong with me, maybe there's something wrong with the universe." queen of believing in yourself. i know this seems counter to what i just said about not letting her be wrong but i liked this one ok. it's about moderation. i love her confidence and i definitely don't want that disrupted in any deeply significant way but i also wish they would let her be wrong every once in a while.

brOTP

she does have really fun dynamics with like most people but hers with troi is good and i like her dynamic w/alyssa ogawa. like yeah alyssa is a subordinate so they're not like Bros bros but beverly clearly cares a lot about her as a person and i think it's neat. also riker if we uhhh. if we don't count. listen if i try to think about the host too long im gonna start setting shit on fire so we're not counting that right now ok we're just counting them in normal episodes.

OTP/nOTP

listen im combining this into one question i think her whole thing with picard is fine and despite what it sounded like earlier i actually kind of enjoy it at points i just hate the way it consumes her whole plotline. if they had just been normal about it it would have been fine.

random headcanon

god ok i know that like all the plays she stages are like Classics and all but i really think they shouldve let her at anything that was fosse-related. i think she would be a great director for that kind of deal.

unpopular opinion

i never know what opinions anyone has on any of these characters unless ive recently seen something that made me mad lmao but. idk sam @sallytwo and i were just talking about this but any attempt to reduce the beverly and wesley dynamic to like "it's good and they're close" or "it's bad and they're distant" is such a doomed endeavor. it's so much more complicated than that like they're close in that they clearly love each other a lot and they don't have a lot of open conflict but they're both deeply repressed people when it comes to expressing meaningful emotions and it definitely takes a really significant toll. again no idea where it falls on the like popular/unpopular opinion scale but it seems like a lot of people don't quite know what to do with that relationship and that's fair because it is. odd especially when you try to figure out what the writers meant for it to be.

favorite picture of them

ngl this is less about her and more about how much utility I get out of it (due to the. i have brain damage.) but it has been very useful so thank you bev

[starship-imzadi]

S6 E6 True Q

I don't remember what happens in this episode. Even though I have mixed feelings about Q, and some Q episodes are better than others, I do enjoy John de Lancie's performances.

I like when Crusher's mama bear comes out. Q describing her as "shrill" is something I find distasteful. Possibly misogynistic.

Hang on. So Q reveals himself in a staff meeting. Data isn't in the meeting. Q teleports Picard to his ready room for a brief conversation. Once it's over Picard walks onto the bridge and talks to Data, who is at the helm and somehow already understands why Picard says that Amand's parents were Q and that Q has been on the ship.

Q is so invasive. I must say I enjoy Amanda's reaction to Q trying to take her. I'm not sure why he doesn't understand the concept of tact.

I think it's worth noting that the Q are (nearly?) omnipotent but NOT omniscient. Often the two are conflated but, since they're theoretical concepts, we don't really understand the bounds of what it would mean to be able to do any thing but not know everything. It sounds dangerous; being all powerful but not all-knowing, so you can't know the consequences of your boundless power.

Can Q bring people back to life?...

Topeka Kansas is such a mundane place to die, within the grand scheme of the universe.

I'm not sure why Amanda needs hand gestures but Q doesn't.

I can't tell if Q's lack of a space bubble lends itself to being intimate or predatory.

Riker maneuver

Amanda is pre-academy right? That's way too young for Riker (in actually the actress, Olivia d'Abo, is about 23 here and Frakes is about 40; which would still be a notable age gap.)

Times like these I wish Troi's character was better developed. She's an empath sitting next to a Q who's very jealous of Riker, Troi's on-again-off-again romantic-partner and always-friend. I want to know her read of the room!

Also: poor Riker. I think he gets manipulated most by the Q (I hate the second Q episode where Riker is given powers, but alas it is canon. Thank goodness his character moved away from whatever direction that was.)

I'm not sure what time period this is supposed to be (somewhere in the 1800's I'd guess) with Frakes it's giving me "Noth and South" vibes but could be leaning more Jane Austen; I don't know the difference. Anyway, there's something very satisfying in Frakes having sleeves that are actually the right length. I think subconsciously I'm aware of how uncomfortable the space suits always look so being free of them I feel more comfortable the way the actors look more comfortable.

Consent is so important! I appreciate how gentle Riker is when he's trying to explain why her behavior is inappropriate. I'm not sure I have my wits or talking points well enough collected to make a thorough argument now, but I'd say Riker is the most abused character after Troi. He is also the most overtly sexualized after her. (And I differentiate between being sexual and being sexualized. The latter is done to you by other people without your consent.)

Riker being forced to "love" Amanda makes me incredibly uncomfortable because of how it violates his wishes. I get the sense that she's bothered by the fact that she knows he isn't really choosing her, rather than the fact that she's forcing him against will. And that's a disturbing lack of empathy. (She definitely owes him an apology.)

This conversation between Picard and Q is fascinating. Q seems genuinely serious in a way that is incredibly rare. "With unlimited power comes responsibility. Do you think it is reasonable for us to let omnipotent beings roam free through the universe?"

I wonder if the Q couldn't just strip Amanda of her power? It happened to Q in Deja Q. Why is it up to her not to use her power? (I realize there's more Q in Voyager that I haven't watched but, from what I've seen from reddit search results, other people have had these same questions. Some posited that Amanda would be left with her powers in order to try to continually tempt her to join the Q)

So, is she going to go resurrect her parents?!? Oh, she meant her adoptive parents....well, we still don't know if the Q can bring people back from the dead.

[terrifickid]

I think pets are fundamentally wrong

You bred them with each other for generations, making this weird imbred mutant creature that can't possibly survive on its own, neuter it, then keep it locked up and feed it gruel - demand complete subordinance and punish it for going to the bathroom.

Sounds like ya'll .

And you love your pet! Just like a member of the family. Except when it's inconvenient or too expensive - then they're dropped off anywhere or at a kill prison.

That's great. Oh and free Palestine.

I think this is a big deal since, thus far and what likely drove me insane was being subordinate to you murderous, obstinate, grotesque cowards.

Having fought out of your hell as a schizophrenic for 40 years, losing my will to live and regaining it leaves me with an interesting taken on the human condition.

I think I'll have to live as a political dissident. It's not a choice to live or die, it's what my relationships will be until I'm dead.

Cause I wanted to get all that schooling.

Now that I see as an insane person, bitch I don't have a future, I guess this changes the algebra on what I can and can not accept.

And I think Blockchain is the ultimate egalitarian arena or at least Bitcoin.

I am not a murderous, grotesque, obstinate coward though this is levied upon me on a daily basis. "Who!?" - motherfucker don't speak to me.

I don't know if being a pacifist precludes me from SSI. But maybe it won't. If I were a misogynist that would be a different story but I am not.

So I think I'm going to double down on being as bad as I want to be. Or at least I'm thinking about it thinking about it.

I dunno, tact can be super useful but tact has become the new state religion and isn't this the very thing that's instigating this so called 7th gen warfare and also the arena predators use to kill?

I think I have passed the point of no return. Or intend to cross it. I don't want to go back. My greatest fear was that it was my fault, that I was being an asshole. I guess I kind of was but not because I was an asshole, just that I was severely mentally disabled at birth and well nobody 'had the heart' oh poor you. I could have been aborted, I could have received the medical care I required, I could of been put in foster care but no, I was just kept in the car, like a dog and trained to speak and sit and be a good boy to cover for everyone so they could destroy the environment with their fancy cars and their hairspray and their addiction to their familial rape fantasy romance.

But thanks to the intrepid women of this era, fuck this. And I think this is my great opportunity to openly wage jihad - since, yes, to my astonishment you shit stains dared to say something. Kudos kudos kudos.

If you had ever dared to train at the dojo I'd graduate you.

But instead it's still 100% fuck me, because it's easy and who has the time or inclination to recognize that you're not the ultimate polysci guru the moment you realized there was anything beyond drugs now that you're 'on the road', or that your political party affiliation is just the carefully constructed pimp game you still crave - perpetrated by your now truly living nightmares, festering merchant molechian golem corporations, which you irrevocably committed all rights and privileges grantable- primarily the flesh of your children - which is cut, processed and sold back to you in the form of violence and violent accessories.

Because I am not a misogynist definitely and because I'm schizophrenic, NOT because I huffed paint or just jazzed out to much, and NOT an asshole. Than I guess I 100% fuck you back.

And isn't that the real meaning of Kobayashi Maru solution space in the end?

Dad killed himself - why? Because he feared the retribution and as a doctor he had sworn an oath. An oath we could never share.

To conclude,

Buy your dog a nice shirt or a wallet or something this Christmas, giving is a beautiful thing.

Kirk, like Picard got told. Told by a little boy. Who was creative and not really boldly made emotional contact with people immediately around him. He being actually thoughtful rather than brash was upset and instead of turning to alcohol got high in this weird Indian seance.

I think you know the rest.

No?

Well, some set jerk was mean to him or something I guess and he quit the show and played d&d with his funny friends.

Kirk too, intrepidly leaving the nexus, followed suit and went on to make a difference again being a paid spokesperson in advanced 'name your own price' technology.

As for Picard, last I heard he was saving the universe, again, from some clthuthonic tentacle AI? While Starfleet got back to war with the Klingons using mushroom teleporters cause they're evil now... Something about a vegetarian space beetle.

Morally murky I grant.

The power is yours!!!!!

[drearymiddle]

To boldly go where many blogs have gone before: A Star Trek series analysis (Part 1)

Originally written by Mr_Turnabout on 20 February 2020 over on the old Dreary Middle website. This was the only article we ever published so we thought it would be nice to preserve it as a reminder of what once was, so enjoy!

I have seen many Sci-Fi shows, but there is something special about Star Trek that makes it stand out among the rest.

Yes, Star Trek is quite the franchise. Spanning currently 7 different series, 13 movies and hundreds of episodes, you can't complain about lack of content. I feel recently Star Trek has had a weirdly negative wrap to it. I know that sounds weird defending one of the most profitable franchises in the history of Television and one of the Father's of Sci-Fi, but hear me out.

I think that people have forgotten how great Star Trek truly is, there is this misconception that it's just a silly Sci-Fi show for nerds and....while yes that may be true it is also so much more than that. Star Trek is an incredibly well written franchise, containing some of the best episodes of a series I have ever seen, even managing to hold up against the best shows that we have today. Writing wise a lot of Star Trek has aged like a fine wine, managing to still be relevant despite some series being decades old.

Now is Star Trek perfect? No, at the worst of times you question how some episodes can even be from the same show from how awful and flat out stupid some of the episodes are. The next generation has an episode where a character has sex with a ghost. Deep Space Nine had an episode where the crew get sucked into a game board, while one of the main cast has to play the game that has them trapped. Enterprise famously has a finale that is considered one of the worst episodes in the franchise. It's stuff like this that makes me black out for 45 minutes and makes me wonder if what I was watching was even real, that being said this is the minority of the franchise and is in no way a representation of the franchise.

Now with me gushing over this franchise you would think that I grew up with it or something right? Well that's where you'd be wrong as it turns out, I myself avoided Star Trek for so long because of its representation, I thought it was the typical Sci-Fi show that didn't age all that well, quite like classic Doctor Who....or modern Doctor Who, anyway I didn't truly give Star Trek series a chance till I was 19 and even by then I was reluctant to try it out, but when I started with The next Generation, I was hooked. This post will be talking about what I like about each individual series as well as the order I watched them in, now I will like to preface that I have not seen all of Star Trek, heck many hardcore fans would say I'm not very far at all. I have finished The next generation (twice), 5 seasons of Deep Space Nine, 4 seasons of Voyager, 8 out of 10 of the original Star Trek movies, the 3 Kelvin timeline movies, the first and last episodes of Enterprise, about 2 episodes of the original series, 4 episodes of Picard and none of discovery, so this post is definitely subject to change and may require a follow up. Regardless I have at least seen enough to tell you why it is great and that you should see it if you haven't.

The Star Trek movies are a mixed bag, but when they're good they're really good.

My first real exposure to Star Trek as a whole was from a little underground YouTuber called 'The Nostalgia Critic' (irony fully intended), he was doing a marathon of the "bad" Star Trek films and my little 14 year old self, laughed and slapped his thighs together at this funny man making comments about how silly these movies were, but it had the unintentional effect of actually getting me interested in the films. My friend in secondary school was a big Trekkie (or is it Trekker?) and I asked him if I could borrow some of those films on DVD, before streaming services were the norm we had to watch our films in physical form kids. So I marathoned those films and at the time I thought some were great and some were really bad, so let's go over the quality of each one real quick.

I. The Motion Picture: Beautiful looking movie, but really boring. Great at introducing you to the main cast of the original series, especially for someone like me who has never seen it. Decent start 6/10.

II. The Wrath of Khan: One of the best Sci-Fi movies ever, tells an excellent story about one of Kirk's old enemies coming back for revenge and a very powerful ending. 9/10.

III. The search for Spock: Not a bad effort here, but it suffers from being in between two of the best movies in the franchise. Kind of undoes the ending of Wrath of Khan in quite a strange way but overall still pretty fun. 6/10.

IV. The Voyage Home: Excellent time travel story that's one of the more fun entries in the series, it's just great to see these characters go back to the past (to play those s* games that suck ass) and interact with people from the 80's. 8/10.

V. The Final Frontier: What does God need with a starship? 3/10.

VI. The Undiscovered Country: Great sendoff for the original cast, great villain introduced in this one too. 8/10.

VII. Generations: The proceeding movies goes on to ruin said great sendoff and instead shows Picard looking at an old photo album and having a little cry. 4/10.

VIII. First Contact: Very fun Sci-Fi movie, weird characterisation for Picard in this one but overall I like the horror atmosphere of this one and that soundtrack is fantastic. 7/10.

If you want my ranking personally I would rank them II > IV> VI > VIII > I > III > VII > V

And what about those characters? Well I'll go into the next generation cast later but the Original series cast are all very fun to watch and have great chemistry. It's no wonder that Captain Kirk and Spock became cultural icons, they are always great on screen together and characters like Bones is one of the funniest characters in the series for his more down to earth characterisation compared to the rest of the cast, these characters aren't particularly deep or anything but they are well written and I would recommend the movies for someone's first exposure to the series, it worked for me.

So what about those Kelvin timeline films?

Shortly after checking out those original movies, I went on to watch the Kelvin timeline movies as at the time into Darkness was on it's way out in 2013, so I thought I may as well check out the 2009 one. Here's the thing I don't think these movies are bad, in fact I find them rather enjoyable, not so much with into Darkness, but the other two are pretty good summer action movies. The characters are, again quite likable, being a reboot of the original series they captured elements of the original characters well, while putting a little twist on them. Captain Kirk was known for being a ladies man in the OG series so now we get to see him actually have THE sex I've heard so much about on the big screen, when I first saw this my eyes bugged out of my head in a cartoon like style, that's for sure.

Into darkness unfortunately has the issue with remaking an all time classic so it was going to suffer as a result, I don't think Cumberbatch captured the more spite filled performance of Ricardo Montalbán's take on the character of Khan and it reeked of "You know this right? Remember this?" That being said the other two films I do enjoy, they are more action packed than your average Star Trek and are filled with Lens flare for some reason, but I would check them out if I were you, they're enjoyable romps, but if you don't like them you didn't hear it from me.

The Next Generation is as good as your mother says it is.

When I said the Kelvin Timeline movies were my next introduction to the series, I meant it. I didn't touch a Star Trek series at all until the year of 2016, after I had saw Beyond in cinema. I felt like it was time to check it out, if I enjoyed the movies, surely, I could enjoy the series that they spawned from, right? Well to say that the Next Generation is a good series would be understatement of the century. The next generation really is something special, its characters are fantastic, the episodes tell some of the best stories you will ever see on the silver screen and it has some of the best writing I have had the pleasure of seeing.

The characters are so diverse and are more interesting than the OG series, which I already enjoyed from the movies. Captain Jean-Luc Picard (played excellently by Patrick Stewart) is the best captain in the series, not only do most the best episodes revolve around him, but it's his ideals that make him one of the more interesting characters in the series. Picard tends to follow orders from Star Fleet and for the most part even if it may seem like a bad thing to do at the time, Picard will follow orders, quite unlike a Kirk, that broke the rules all the time. It's this element of Picard that makes him really fascinating to watch, a by the books captain was the best way to go for a series like this, most the time Picard will not resort to violence and will choose to talk his way out of a situation instead. He's stern but also fair and seeing his interests in the performing arts and literature just adds more to this already interesting character.

The rest of the supporting cast are great too. Data, an android with no emotions but wishes to understand them is another great character rivalling Picard in popularity, watching him be put in situation that revolve around his lack of emotions and if he counts as a lifeform makes for some of the best stories in the next generation. First officer Riker, is also another great character to watch, he's everything you want from a first officer, he's more fair than Picard most the time but he can be quite stern too when he needs to be and a lot of great episodes revolve around what he decides to do when Picard isn't there to give him orders. The final character in this series I want to touch on is Worf, the security officer who is also a Klingon who was raised by humans. This added an element of an outsider on the crew to the series, there are many episodes where he has to deal with his culture as a Klingon vs his place on Star Fleet, this really was progressive writing for the time it came out.

I will go over some of the episodes in the show that really show off how fantastic this series really is.

The Measure of a Man (season 2): One of the, if not the most famous episode of the show. Data's identity as a lifeform comes into question when a scientist wants to take him apart. A hearing is ordered, with Picard defending that Data is indeed a lifeform. This is the episode that won me over on the series and showed me that The Next Generation was truly something special.

Yesterday's Enterprise (season 3): A fantastic episode, where the Enterprise gets caught in a different timeline where they are at constant war with the Klingons. Shows that Star Trek could tell these alternate reality stories extremely well.

The Best of Both Worlds and Family (season 3 and 4): The Borg show off how deadly they are by taking Picard and turning him into one. One of the greatest cliff-hangers is the history of television, please watch this. Family shows the aftermath of the situation and shows an emotionally weakened Picard.

Clues (season 4): A fun episode where the crew of the Enterprise wake up after blacking out for what they think is a small period but actually turns out to be longer than expected, this turns into a mystery to find out what's going on as one of the crew might be holding back some information from the others.

The Drumhead (season 4): One of the best episodes in the series for how it, for lack of a better term tackles racism. Picard has to defend a member of his crew who is Romulan, which is an enemy of the Federation. "Have we become so… fearful, have we become so cowardly… that we must extinguish a man? Because he carries the blood of a current enemy?"

I Borg (season 5): A Borg is taken aboard the enterprise with the intention of infecting the rest of the collective, but the longer the Borg stays on the enterprise, the more of its humanity it gets back. Picard has to decide whether it's right to kill this Borg or if it has the right to live like everyone else.

The Inner Light (season 5): Picard lives out an entire lifetime of someone he does not recognise, he grows close to the family of the person he is living out the life of and it becomes a rather emotional and sad tale. Don't miss this one.

Chain of Command (season 6): Patrick Stewart shows off some of his best acting, when he is taken away and tortured. This shows the psychological torture Picard has to endure and the final few minutes of the episodes are as chilling as they are brilliant.

Tapestry (season 6): Picard has a chance to redo his life after his artificial heart gives out and Q offers him to go back in time so that he never needed an artificial heart at all. Great episode that shows us not to regret our actions but instead learn from them and better ourselves.

All Good Things… (season 7): A fantastic finale that brings the series full circle with the very first episode in the series, where we get to see 3 different versions of these characters from different time periods. Excellent finale.

To wrap up what I have to say on The Next Generation, it really is a fantastic series and they don't make them like this anymore. Sci-Fi has lost a lot of the intelligent writing that went along with it, nowadays the genre needs to have action and explosions in it to appeal to a mainstream audience. No one wants to see an episode that questions what we consider a lifeform or an intelligent discussion on if we should follow orders all the time even if it's not always the right thing to do. Why watch that when we can see starships blowing up. Hahaha, I love space pew pew pew shoot the lasers KA-BOOM HAHA IS THIS SCI-FI YET? IS THIS THE GENRE YOU ALL LOVE SO MUCH? IS THIS SCI-FI YET?

Originally written by Mr_Turnabout on 20 February 2020 over on the old Dreary Middle website

This was the only article we ever published so we thought it would be nice to preserve it as a reminder of what once was, so enjoy!

[diamondot]

Patrick Stewart directed this episode, so let's see how he does with dream sequences!

fisheye lenses! something is off!

bro you gonna answer that phone or

oh! i remember this episode! like i remember being a child and watching it on tv! i LOVED this episode because i was a strange child who loved surreal nightmare fodder (and absolutely nothing has changed since then). like, my favorite Berenstain Bear book was the one about nightmares. it's also, incidentally, the first book i remember reading on my own

i definitely remember the weird buzzing sound Data makes when he opens his mouth

of course Data sleeps in his uniform

you're right Picard, that formal Starfleet banquet sounds absolutely dreadful

Data will NOT stop talking to Geordi about his nightmare and Geordi is SO clearly over it and also SO determined to be kind to him and i have been both Data and Geordi in this situation and it's honestly adorable

Spot!!

Troi, i know you mean well, but why and how would Data's positronic brain be anything like yours

YES YES YES IT'S THE TROI CAKE

IT IS A CELLULAR PEPTIDE CAKE

hahahaha and Dr Crusher with a straw in Riker's head

love how Worf says "you must have overslept" to Data as if that's a perfectly normal android thing to do

i guess i understand why Data wouldn't want to talk to Troi about the Troi Cake but why in the world did he choose a holographic Freud instead

Picard: oh no! the warp drive! is malfunctioning! how could this be! and right before the banquet, too

OH NO I FORGOT ABOUT GEORDI'S NECK MOUTH

just having some hallucinations! nothing to see here!

hmmmmmm i don't know that i'd be quite so nonchalant about an android coming to me about the hallucinations he's been having! but ok Troi!

Geordi has the patience of a saint

i love that in the episode that Patrick Stewart directs Picard is an overbearing mother hen

YIKES DATA BE STABBY

Oops, It's Alien Parasites

oh! good! if they don't get rid of them everyone is gonna collapse into goo

"my subsequent antisocial behavior" Data you stabbed Troi repeatedly

Riker Head Juice

how does Geordi know how to answer a phone!!

yet another Extremely Alien Aliens Communicate Through Someone's Subconscious episode

i'm not complaining, mind you. i like this genre of episode

sometimes a Data Cake is just a cake

my fellows in Starfleet, it's

Star Trek night

Phantasms: do androids dream of electric sheep?

[thesevenwondersofawitch]

I'm on the final episode of Star Trek Next Gen

I feel like Deanna is kinda getting tired of Worf saying the word stimulating😂

Data's house is full of cats, whata mood😂

Riker is definitely not all good with Deanna dating Worf, and I find it completely hilarious that he's distracted by it

IS THE CAPTAIN OF THE MEDICAL SHIP BEVERLY?!

Hell yeah! It is!

Wait, Beverly is married to Picard? Huh.

Beverly's look at Jean-Luc when he also responded to the person saying Captain Picard 😂

Huh, they're divorced. Sounds about right 😂

"He's Jean-Luc Picard, and if he wants to go on one more mission, that's what we're going to do." The foreshadowing to Picard👀

The poor past Enterprise crew is so confused😂

It seriously took Picard that long to realize Q was involved? I figured that out as soon as the first people showed up in his vision.

Oh SHIT, THE TRIAL NEVER ENDED!!

"You're going to deny us travel through space?" Dude no, he's Q, he's probably gonna deny you the ability to exist

I was right! Ha!

Yeah Jean-Luc, you definitely have a much bigger problem than you realized.

Jean-Luc Picard,

The man who caused the annihilation of mankind.

Role model indeed.

Q sees Picard as a pet💀 thank you Data 😂

There's no love lost between Worf and Admiral Rider, it would seeem🤔

Not gonna lie, I thought Word's ship slammed on the brakes abruptly when he jerked forward saying "Dor-sHo GHA!"😂

Aw, Beverly had Picard sit in the chair for old times sake😭

Poor past O'Brien, he's so confused

Oh my god, did they find old footage of Riker? Because it doesn't look like he's talking on a video call

"So, Captain, how long shall we stare at each other across the Neutral Zone?" The extraness of this dialogue delivery 😂

Makes me wonder how long they were staring at each other on video, or if the dude is referring to the ships

There is nothing there, future Picard, nothing. No need to yell.

And undermine Beverly on her own ship!

Seriously though, the poor past Enterprise crew 😂

Oof, I do not envy Geordi right now

HOLY HELL, HE'S GROWING NEW EYES?!?!

*deadpan* Oh no, a rupture in time. Whatever shall happen, I wonder? However will they survive?

Seriously tho, I would have such doubts about going on the Enterprise if this Picard was the Captain and being completely confusing.

Rip to Ensign Chilton

Goodness, that makeup Riker is wearing is quite something 👀

Ok, there is definitely some tension between Worf and Riker. Did something happen to Deanna and that's what's causing the tension? I wanna know!

Alyssa's baby, noooooo.😭

Why hello Q

Picard is the cause of the anomaly 👀

Truth be told, I thought that was where this was gonna go.

Oh shit, three identical time pulses 👀

Oh no

Okay, so the thing between Worf and Riker has been going for over 20 years🤔

Deanna's funeral? Shit, I didn't want to be correct that something happened to her

"I always thought that we would get together again. And then she was gone."😭 Meh heart💔

Picard, you do sound kinda cray

Good job Data! You understood what he was saying. Of course, when it comes from Data everything makes much more sense.

Sometimes.

I would really prefer to transfer to another ship if I was on the Enterprise during this past Enterprise experience

The ship shaking makes me imagine the scene to the song Party Rockers

It worked! Yay!

The Continuum didn't believe in Jean-Luc Picard, but Q did, and sometimes that's all Picard needs

Q's out here giving so much good advice.

And it's back to when he interrupted Worf and Deanna's kiss!😂

That long look shared between Riker and Worf, you would think they were having a telepathic conversation 😂

Deanna!! She sat next to Will, and in my book that says something good😂

Picard joined them at the poker table ❤️

That ending scene, man. It was a sweet end to the TV series 😭😁

Now I gotta go find which movie to watch next

Overall, the show was good, and on a 0/10 scale, I'd rate it a solid 8.😁

[iamanathemadevice]

Wherein I whine about Star Trek: Picard

Even though it's a show I actually adore. (I'm going to do my best to avoid spoilers here, but I'll put a cut in for the nervous)

Look, they do a great job on so many things. The staging and costuming and music are just fantastic. They clearly know their Trek canon.

But the script writers have been seriously handwaving a lot of shit. For example:

They never address something incredibly important and obvious about time travelling that far into the past - language.

We can just about understand written English from 2-3 centuries ago, but even then we struggle with slang and abbreviations unless we're scholars. Look at the rhymes in Shakespeare that no longer work. The jokes. The puns. We can't understand Shakespeare as written without help and study. Can you imagine trying to understand what was being said if we were just hearing it?

Have you ever look at newsreels from last century? Ever noticed how differently your own country's accents sounded back then? And that's only a hundred years ago. Four hundred years ago, a time traveller from our time would be almost unintelligible to a nominally English speaking person. Four hundred years from now, the same will be true. Not just because of our accents, but because our entire vocabulary will have changed. (Can you imagine how many more 'foreign' words and expressions and tics English is going to pinch in the next 400 years, considering how much it's changed just since the internet was born?)

Rios's conversation with the ICE guard is amusing, but ridiculous. He should not be able to make an idiomatic, rapid-fire monologue at anyone at this period, because no matter how much time he spends on a holodeck, he won't sound like a 21st century Chilean man either in accent or vocabulary. Rios is a starship captain, not a linguist or a historian. This stuff needs work if you want to do it right.

If you're going to do a time travel arc, you really can't afford to be this sloppy.

2. Smoking at a gala.

An indoor gala. Smoking a fucking cigar at an indoor gala. No.

I mean, I knew this and I'm Australian, FFS

3. Does anyone on that scriptwriting team know anything about how they choose astronauts?

They're filming in Canada - perhaps they might have heard of Chris Hadfield? He wrote a whole damn book about becoming an astronaut. Suffice to say, the process is arduous, and amongst other things, thoroughly weeds out the neurotic and uncertain from a vast field of talent. So a particular plot twist about the future of humanity resting on a person who is depressed, a heavy drinker, and generally not in good mental health, being able to complete a multiyear mission to the outer reaches of the solar system is...silly, to say the least.

Star Trek isn't as silly as Dr Who (which isn't science fiction in any defensible definition of the term) and I'm happy to sit back and suspend disbelief with the best of them - until it starts doing stuff which I know about (like history and language and how it changes) and then I have to take notice of the nonsense, and I don't like that :(

I'd much rather concentrate on the bisexual ladies in love, and Rios being delicious, and the wonderful, wonderful costumes and music. So if the scriptwriters could start paying some goddamn attention to the details, I would appreciate it.

[writingsfromstarfleet]

Data - As The World Falls Down

♫ - As The World Falls Down - David Bowie 

For MJ, @okamiredfoxx , I hope you enjoy! ♡

"Hey, Y/N, you like those old 20th century-era films, right?" Geordi had asked you, and you looked up from your station in the engineering bay.

"I do?" you smiled at your friend, knowing he and Argyle were bound to be debating something, as per each day there was always something. Always.

"What would you say then," Argyle began, turning to you with a smile as he continued. "is the best film to come from that era of Earth?"

You sat wide eyed at the two men who waited for your answer. You hadn't thought anybody else had an interest in 1900s/2000s era film, especially given the time frame currently. Still, you chuckled to yourself, a definitive answer that never wavered rolling off your tongue.

"Easy. Labyrinth."

Argyle chuckled. "Labyrinth?" He repeated, almost confused. "Like Pans Labyrinth with the  hand guy?" He placed the backs of his hands against his eyes and motioned Pale Man's actions, leaving you laughing as Geordi swatted his arm.

"No, Y/N means the film about the goblin city and the girl who's brother is stolen by the goblin king, right?" Geordi nodded at you and you smiled back, nodding too.

"That one exactly, Geords."

"Huh," Argyle shrugged and smiled along with the both of you. "I still think it's Interstellar."

The three of you began working once more in a comfortable silence, and unbeknownst to you, a certain android had been listening to your conversation in its entirety.

Data was an enigma, but despite everything, the two of you were close. You'd begun talking to Data through Geordi, usually Data would be there when you had your meet ups in Ten Forward, not that you had minded. You found the man fascinating, he had such impartial views on everything, and he was knowledgeable about most topics, so he made for good conversation. Soon enough, you found yourself in Data's company more and more without the presence of anyone else; be that walks through the ship simply talking, or jaunts on various holodeck programmes, you were just happy to be with him. You hoped, though he didn't feel human emotion, he felt the same in his own rights.

Data watched you leave early for your lunch break, and walked to his friend.

"Geordi, may I inquire about your conversation with Lieutenant Y/N?" Data asked, and Geordi placed his hand on Data's shoulder.

"Of course, go right ahead."

Data asked him about your interest specifically, and what Labyrinth was all about. As Geordi recounted the plot, and all the fine details Data asked for in between, Geordi look quizzically at his friend.

"You planning on a movie night, Data? I would recommend it, but there are also far better films out there than that, in my humble opinion."

As Geordi laughed to himself, Data simply nodded.

"Thank you, Geordi."

You hadn't seen Data the next day, and when you had, it had been fleeting in the hall; usually your work meant you'd run into him almost hourly. You would be lying if you said it hadn't made you a little sad, but still, you carried on with your day, assuming that Captain Picard had given him more tasks than usual. What you didn't know in that moment, however, was how wrong you were.

Sighing, you entered your quarters and breathed out; another day was over and you could finally relax. You'd been enjoying your shift and the company was great, that much wasn't being disputed, but you found yourself simply longing for a nap. Exhausted, you asked the computer to dim the lights and made your way to the bed.

Upon entering your room, however, your eyes wandered to the package on your bed; a silver box tied neatly with a light blue bow. Attached was a note, seemingly handwritten in copperplate text.

'For tonight, 20:00 hours. Holodeck three. - Commander Data.'

Twiddling the note in your hands for a couple of seconds, you smiled to yourself. Everything that man did made you love him one bit more, though each and every time you would state that was impossible. Untying the bow delicately, it fell off and you opened the lid to reveal a mass of material, shimmering even under the dim light. Confused, you pulled it out of the box to reveal it was in fact a dress. As you lifted it, it unravelled fully and you could see the intricacies of the pleating combined with the embroidery, instantly recognisable to you; it was Sarah's dress from Labyrinth. A breath of shock left you as you stared at the dress in disbelief. The box also held her hairpiece, replicated with an accuracy you hadn't thought possible. Sleep was now the last thing on your mind.

8pm had rolled around both far too quickly and not quick enough for you. The halls were fairly empty as you stepped out of your quarters. Nerves overtook you as you approached the holodecks, but you couldn't think why. It was just another holo-adventure with Data, you'd done those before. The uncertainty of what he had planned was what got to you, though you knew it was more excited nerves than bad ones. Finally reaching the door, it opened for you and you gasped.

The light hit your eyes and the sounds of soft music came from inside. You stepped in, lifting the bottom of your skirt as you did so. Looking round, your eyes were met with people dancing everywhere. Tables and chairs littered the outside of the dancefloor, adorned with different foods and embellishments. Your eyes couldn't scan quick enough, every little detail was beyond accurate and you couldn't quite believe you were stood in your favourite film scene of all time.

Looking around, you failed to see Data, far too many people were spinning by you as you walked. A few offered their hands to dance but you declined politely, still searching for the android. Eventually, your eyes landed on him, and he approached you slowly, a mask covering his face. The closer he got to you, he reached his hand out, the music still playing softly around you. Taking his hand, Data lowered his mask and you saw his face; it was beautiful at the best of times but in the light of the ballroom he looked all the more handsome.

"Hello there," you spoke softly, unable to contain your happiness. Data nodded at you.

"Good evening, I am glad you showed up." His voice was low, but you heard him well despite the noise and giggled.

"As though I could say no."

Data began to sway you to the music, and you placed your hand on his shoulder and his free one laid on your waist. A gentleman, it never faltered either. As the two of you danced, Data leaned in closer to you and began to hum along, clearly having memorised the film beforehand. You instinctively curled closer to his chest, until his chin rested atop your head and you swayed in comfortable silence. The android slowly began to sing the lyrics, quietly, but definitely there.

"I'll place the sky, within your eyes..." Data trailed off as you lifted your head to look at him, astounded more than anything that the android had sung. Not only that, but he had a lovely singing voice, too.

"There's such a fooled heart, beating so fast; in search of new dreams, a love that will last.."

"I'll place the moon, within your heart." You cut him off with your own sing along, and you saw a faint hint of a smile present on his face.

Data spun you round, your skirt flowing around you seconds later, and danced just as you'd expect, with precision and correctness. The same smile never left your face as the dance continued, the two of you working around the others perfectly, as though you had done this a thousand times before. That was what you loved about him the most, that no matter what was happening or what you were doing, Data made everything comfortable. Never once had anything felt foreign, and you had just clicked with him instantly. He felt homely, and made you feel safe whenever he was around, and times like this made you realise why you'd fallen for him in the first place.

"Y/N, may I have your attention for a second?" He asked, pulling you out of your slight daydream as you stepped with each other calmly once more.

"As ever, Data, of course."

"I have been meaning to tell you this for a while now, though I did not know how best to approach such a subject. Upon consulting Geordi, I believe this was the best way to do it," Data gestured to the program, a more serious tone to his voice. He continued. "I recalled you mentioning that Jim Henson's work was among your favourites from the 20th century, in particular Labyrinth. I wished for this to be perfect for you, because that is what I believe you deserve."

"Data?" you questioned softly, looking the android in the eye as he carried on his speech.

"Since we began to talk more often, I realised that we got along very well, and you were very willing to listen to me talk; I cannot recall one time you have ever cut me off or told me to stop talking, for which I thank you. But, I have come to realise it is more than that. Though I do not have emotions, what I feel for you I know is true, and it most certainly is there. I believe, in my own way, I have come to care for you a great deal, and in human terms, I am sure that it is love. I love you, Y/N."

Your eyes were brimmed with tears, nothing but adoration in your eyes for the man stood before you. You stood shocked at his declaration, smiling nonetheless. Letting go of his hand, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer. On your prompt, Data's arms wound themselves around your waist, keeping you against him as you spoke against his ear.

"And here I was, thinking this was purely one sided." You chuckled, and he pulled you back to look at you. No matter the time of day he found you beautiful, and right now Data couldn't deny to himself that such a fact was still true.

"Does that mean you also feel the same? That you.." For the first time ever, you cut him off, unable to contain the happy feelings you had.

"I do, I love you, Data."

On instinct, the android leant in and captured your lips with his own, and you took his face in your hands. The kiss was bliss, the sounds around you adding to the atmosphere, and this time neither of you could keep the small smiles off your faces. Pulling back, Data kept you held close to him, dancing with you once more.

"But I'll be there for you," he sang once more, and you rested your head against his chest and joined in.

"As the world falls down."

[dwellordream]

“Plenty of women spoke out against rape in the Middle Ages, though just like now, they had to struggle to be heard. Medieval courts often let rapists go with little explanation and placed the burden of proof on the victim, as demonstrated by several cases in this register from 14th century Paris. In one instance, chambermaid Eudelot la Picarde accused her employer Guillaume Damours of raping her, and the court tasked her with producing witnesses, to which she responded that there were none. La Picarde failed to appear in court at the next date (perhaps because she knew she had no proof) and Damours was absolved. In another case, Jacqueline la Cyrière was accused of luring ten-year-old Jeannette Bille-heuse into her home and then aiding a Lombard soldier in raping the child. The court does not explain what happens to the soldier who actually committed the crime of rape, and focuses all its attention on La Cyrière, who is sentenced to burn at the stake.

A few cases stand out as exceptions. In 1385, Perrote Turelure was pardoned via a letter of remission by the king’s court for killing a squire named Brunet. Brunet had been pursuing her relentlessly, and eventually broke into her home and tried to rape her. Turelure killed him in order to avoid being raped. It is stated that Turelure “refused for fear of the harm done to her body and rape” and “feared the dishonor, shame and corruption of the virginity of her body and to be dishonored or dead.” At first, Turelure’s case looks like a success story. But why was she pardoned, and why was her use of physical force against her attacker such a crucial factor?

The clearest rape law that we have from medieval France stresses the importance of a woman forcefully resisting rape: “To force a woman is when someone has carnal intercourse by force with a woman against the will of said woman and when she does everything in her power to defend herself.” (This definition bears startling similarity to the one used by the FBI’s Uniform Crime Reporting system prior to 2013). By this medieval definition, if a victim did not resist verbally and physically, there was little way to prove she had been raped. In court, a victim would be questioned repeatedly to gain a sense of how physical and verbal her resistance was. Turelure’s resistance was considered so valiant that the king’s court pardoned her for the murder of her attacker and attempted to clear away any of the damage done to her reputation by the attempted rape (underscoring how suffering sexual violence could ruin a woman’s life).

Some women found their reputations so damaged by having been raped that they were forced into prostitution; there was little other space for them in society. If they could not get married due to the loss of their virginity, then they had to find the means to support themselves elsewhere. Turlure’s response to the rape was perhaps only acceptable because of who she was—a woman with an honest reputation who in the court’s eyes understood the value of her virginity and took steps to protect it.

Similarly, in 1386, Marguerite de Thibouville spoke of her lengthy resistance to rape to the Paris Parlement court. She testified that she repeatedly cried out, beat her attacker Jacques le Gris with her fists, and barricaded herself in another room. She is said to have “continued to scream” throughout the attack and Le Gris is quoted as saying that he “never met a stronger woman.” Her strong resistance, and the fact that the attacker broke into her home, is likely why the court granted her husband’s wish for a trial by combat, during which he executed Le Gris. De Thibouville’s forceful resistance was also a marker of her good, honest character, and her chastity as a married woman. Turelure’s case demonstrates something similar, for there is hardly a stronger sign of resistance than killing one’s attacker.

These two cases reveal an apparent contradiction in medieval French society, and, I think, in our own as well. If it is acceptable for a woman to kill the man who has attempted to rape her, then it follows that the rapist has committed an egregious wrong-doing, justifying his murder. So far, so good (more or less). Brunet bears the guilt for what occurs, not Turelure—despite the fact that he is the one who ends up dead. One would think this relationship could be true in the reverse: since Brunet, or any rapist, bears the blame for the violent crime, then the victim shoulders none of it. In other words, victim blaming shouldn’t be possible when the rapist is explicitly held accountable both by the would-be victim and the court. But we know that Turelure’s and De Thibouville’s cases are the exception rather than the rule, and more often than not medieval women were blamed for the crime committed against them.

Although these women may sound heroic (and in some ways they certainly are), there is a darker side to female self-defense. Rapist seek to subjugate their victims, making them relinquish control over their bodies and wills. Medieval courts demanded that the victims be active enough participants in the rape to not only resist it thoroughly but to stop it from happening at all. Then, as now, women were expected to be good rape victims. Turelure was only pardoned because she proved, within a shadow of a doubt, her desire to protect her virginity, and thus her status as an honorable woman.

But what happened to women whose resistance wasn’t as successful or forceful? And what happens to them now? In asking women to resist rape forcefully, we acknowledge it as a heinous crime or violent action that should thus be met with equal violence from its victims. And yet, we do not treat rape like a heinous crime. We have simultaneously classified rape as something terrible—the worst thing that can happen to a woman—and then we continuously fail to treat it as such.”

- Lucia Akard, “A Medieval #MeToo.”

[q-card]

wait wait can you elaborate on the mirror images of each other thing. it sounds like youre on some galaxy brain shit and i want in on it

Hey there!! ✨ I’m so sorry for the late reply, but I’m glad you asked because this is something I think about A LOT. 

So we have Picard, Captain of a Starship, kind and just and principled but also flawed and human. And then we have Q, immortal omnipotent godbeing who is “devious, amoral, unreliable, irresponsible and definitely not to be trusted” (Picard’s words). At first glance, they seem to be polar opposites. But let’s take a closer look.

I think I first noticed the “mirror images” thing in Tapestry (s6e15). In this episode we get to see Jean-Luc as a young man. Looking at his past self, Picard says to Q “I was a different person in those days. Arrogant, undisciplined, with far too much ego and too little wisdom. I was more like you.” 

This is a theme explored throughout the episode, and the conclusion is very interesting: after changing the past so that he never fought the Nausicaans, Picard finds himself in a reality where he never became Captain and lived a quiet, boring life. He complains and wishes he had his old life back. This makes him understand that the Picard who fought the Nausicaans—the Picard who was a lot more like Q—is the one who would later grow up to do extraordinary things. In essence, the Picard who was a lot more like Q is the real Picard, the one we all know and love.

So Picard and Q aren’t really polar opposites, more like photo negatives of each other, inversed colors, mirror images. Q is what Picard could be—or indeed, used to be—and Picard is what Q could be (we see this is Deja Q, for example, when Q sacrifices himself to save the Enterprise, which is very human, very Picard-like).

I also think this is part of why Picard is so enraged by Q. He can’t stand to look at that part of himself. Because the arrogance, the ambition, the need for adventure—these things tug at Picard’s (artificial) heart, and they’re so attractive, but he’s been fighting them all his life because he wants to be better, he wants to be kind and just and principled. Seeing Q take pride in those things reminds Picard that he was once like that. That he could be like that again.

It’s also why Q is so attracted to Picard, of course. Because they’re completely different and yet almost the same. I really think the mirror metaphor is the best way to describe it: you and your image in a mirror are almost identical, except everything is reversed. 

Also look at the imagery in All Good Things (s7e25&26), MIRROR IMAGES, I think about this scene all the time:

I desperately have more to say on this topic, but I don’t have enough time right now. I’m still planning on writing that essay on why I think Q and Picard are perfect for each other (the one I’ve been meaning to write for literally years lol). Soon, soon. 

[cakeandpi]

Parker!! spoilers abound

hm, so Harry (aka Lawyer) has been fired/let go and no one gave him the memo on it. Is his old job/boss going to be this episodes mark?

oof, Harry is bad at being subtle with his ‘okay look in [place]’ comm directions

ah okay so isn’t a legal firm that’s about representing their clients to the best of their ability. it’s a firm whose about smoothing bad things over for rich clients so that there’s little to no consequences.

“I remember when you wanted to change the world.”/“World did change. We just went along for the ride.” So the world changed the boss, the boss gave up on changing the world because he saw a way to profit from it and didn’t care that he hurt others along the way.

The way that car drove up onto the curve, I thought that was Sophie in a big hurry at first. (I would have thought Parker but there wasn’t enough time for her to crack the safe, get to the relevant files, get out, and then drive there.) But no, it’s Maxwell’s thugs because the man holds a grudge apparently. So I’m going to guess he’s going to be the season big bad? Or is he just a 2-episode bad guy and we’ll find out who the real big bad is later?

Hardison: listing various problems on various international efforts he’s helping with Eliot: let’s make this a restaurant metaphor Hardison: *very much regretting ever buying Eliot that brewpub*

Nuts and bolts about bad guy details

Also that bit about Hardison being distracted by problems is definitely a distraction, there’s no way he’d pause on making sure their safehouse was secure

Eliot is not so much pissed as insulted that the world is at the point of advertising the corruption rather than him needing to beat it out of someone.

drone!!

*snort* eliot's usually the grouchy one, and he’s carrying a trashcan right now. there’s no way hardison doesn’t make some oscar the grouch joke once he sees that.

“It’s like you never stopped.”/“Yeah. Quite the act.” Sophie slows down at Hardison’s comment, then sighs and sits. She’s finding this tiring now. Is it because she’s out of practice? Or because after so many years of retirement, her hearts not in it anymore? And Hardison notices. He doesn’t say anything concrete immediately, because Sophie hasn’t really elaborated on what’s going on with her. When she does - it’s her grief, and how its affecting her grift now - there’s this concern in Hardison’s face. There’s absolutely going to be a meeting between the OT3 about how to straddle not straining Sophie too much and not babying her should she stay on for another job after this.

“But I can’t work forever, can I?” There’s a defeated tone to this, and it’s true - Sophie’s just human, one day she too will pass on. Her grief for Nate (and how being back with the team keeps reopening that wound) is coloring her view on this for sure. (Did Nate work himself to death?) It’s also, very distantly, a remark on the OT3 - they too can’t work forever. They were Sophie’s and Nate’s proteges. And it’s not that the OT3 doesn’t have anything in place if they go down - they’ve got small teams running all over the world. But they don’t have their own personal proteges. Harry’s a decent start, but they’ll need to recruit and open up their circle to at least one, maybe two more before they’re ready to retire. Before they, too, burn too hot for too long.

“You hear that? That’s a very distinctive sound.” YES

Another Basil & Brick truck! This one has.... empanadas, ropa vieja, sancocho, and I think the last one is yuca frita. Mm, yuca fries.

BREANNA!!!

Parker! Taught Breanna to tail people! (Hardison in particular?) When she was 11! Wait does that mean Parker’s met Nana?! Also Parker is so smug and satisfied that Breanna paid attention to her lessons.

“I teach every kid I meet how to do crime.” <3 be gay do crime

This is a big ‘I’m telling mom!’ argument and I love it, especially the “I think she’s napping” LMAO

“How you saved Eliot’s life all those times” Oh man Hardison is sleeping on the metaphorical couch tonight. But also I need to come back to this later because honestly and really? Hardison has - as part of a group team effort - saved Eliot’s life from himself. By giving him a way to work through his anger issues, by caring for him, by showing Eliot he’s needed and that he’s more than just a hitter. The team saved Eliot’s life. (And there’s probably a bunch of erasing digital trails/etc where Hardison did more directly save Eliot’s life but that's besides the point.)

“But hacking’s kind of old school anyway.” And as she goes on, Eliot goes from aggrieved to ‘oh, a new best friend’ because now he has someone to help him annoy Hardison.

Parker pulls Hardison into a side room (by his ear, but he’s not protesting in pain so that’s got to be just for show). And then pushes him up against the wall and Hardison is like ‘okay whatever lecture is coming can it not be like this?’ If it weren’t for the glass walls that’d be some makeout stuff right here.

LOL at Parker’s standard for a ‘normal’ person being ‘uses Uber, pays taxes, and has a birth certificate’.

“Wait is this like that time in Paris?” I... don’t remember an episode set in Paris with a robot and explosions so this must be during the time skip. And - “... but you didn’t want to hurt Eliot’s feelings so you secretly wanted us to agree.” I’m going to scream if there’s no confirmed ot3 by the end of the season. And cry. And read a whole bunch of fic.

Look at these two being honest with each and communicating and respecting each others opinions, they’ve grown so much from pretzel metaphors.

“You’re not mad. You did the Picard tug.”/“I am mad.“/“Did the tug. You know I like that.” Parker might be mad (at Hardison? Breanna? Both?) but not so much that she’s completely shutting out Hardison, giving him a nonverbal signal that she’s not pissed, just needs some time to be upset before everything’s okay.

“One. Job.” Parker says. And we the viewers know it’ll be more than one. But really what that means by now is that this is an audition. Parker may have taught Breanna some things, but now Breanna has to show that they do better with her rather than without, that she’s an asset and not a liability or dead weight.

I laughed so hard that because this shit’s illegal, there’s no cutting corners on the paperwork.

“And you didn’t get tortured.”/“Not this time.” I can’t tell if Eliot wants Harry to get a little bit tortured or if he’s just reminding Harry that this time around people were in a good mood and showing off.

Breanna stops herself before suggesting something, and Hardison, for all that he isn’t delighted at her presence and protested her being here, encourages her to speak up. If she’s going to be part of the team, even for one job, she’s part of the team and that means speaking up and throwing ideas out there for others to bounce around, even if it winds up being a football that can’t be dribbled.

OT3 TEAM JUST GOT DUBBED ‘DRILL TEAM’. (why is that also somehow a dirty joke i’m dying here)

Oh one of the baddies is a Com4r4t fan... oh wait no this is the beginning of a plan backfiring.

Aww Breanna is so proud of what she’s done! It’s very much like season 1 Hardison. So Sophie and Hardison go to do their own thing, only that means the baddies are here to talk to Breanna and she doesn’t have backup.

THE 'LET ME GET MY BOSS’ THE SPIN AROUND AND THE ‘WHY ARE YOU BOTHERING MY STAFF’ I LOVE BREANNA.

“I’m your neighbor who runs a business built on discretion.” This is going to go very badly depending on how Breanna plays this. At least she gets the earbud in to call for help!

Another Brick&Basil truck! Etoufee and jambalaya, dammit eliot stop choosing delicious food to advertise. 

“I monkey-shamed the DJ” I. Love. Her. Also Sophie’s already read Breanna as having the skills to just need general guidelines for an impromptu grift rather than needing to be fed specific lines.

“Okay here’s the thing.” And there’s a pause, we’re thinking he’s about to come down real hard on Breanna, and then we get “I love Com4r4t.” he is a fanboy I guessed it right!! And then he does go through with the threat, but not as a ‘cancel it or die’ sort of threat, but a ‘if i’m disappointed you die’ way.

Breanna nails the impromptu grift though she’s understandably a bit shaken by the threat at the end. (What newcomer wouldn’t be?) But the threat is what pushes Parker into deciding Breanna should go home ASAP. This is Hardison’s family, from before the team, and Parker isn’t about to risk messing that up. If she pushes for Breanna to stay when Hardison doesn’t want Breanna to, and something goes wrong? Parker would never, ever forgive herself.

But as Sophie has pointed out, they’ve all been out of their depth at one point or another. That doesn’t mean that someone should be sent packing.

Lmao Eliot being possessive of the drill.

“Then you ain’t got no more problems ever again.” There’s a certain sense of morbid humor with the team, one that’s both necessary but also a reality. They deal with this level of danger on a semi-regular basis. Harry just hasn’t caught up to that fact yet.

I have a feeling this particular baddie is going to end up dead for managing to drive a 40% cut.

“I’m just saying dude.” I love that Eliot and Hardison don’t have to rehash their entire arguments anymore unless they’re really enjoying themselves, that they can just be all ‘you know I’ve said my piece’.

“Don’t get distracted by the side gig.”/“Is it a side gig?” For all that the team has been their main focus for so long, for all that they all have side projects and gigs, this has been eating up more and more of Hardison’s time. What I thought was him pretending to be distracted earlier may have been a real distraction. And Eliot’s noticed, and he’s noticed that Hardison hasn’t noticed, that Hardison needs to make a choice here.

“In our line of work, you’re one of the best. But in that line of work you’re the only one, man.” Eliot has a soft smile at the end of that, and it's a bit painful, even as I saw it coming, to hear Eliot suggest that Hardison begin to step away from the team’s day to day.

“It’s okay to grow up, to realize you’re not the person you used to be.” None of them are the person they used to be. Not Sophie, not Parker, not Hardison, and certainly not Eliot. They can see that in each other if not in themselves. (Eliot, being the most grounded of all of them, already knew he’d changed eight years ago.)

“You never grew up.”/“Yeah. I achieved perfection pretty early, huh?” Even as Eliot’s the most grounded, even though he’s the one saying that there’s no one else that could fill Hardison’s role in that other work, the idea that Hardison might actually choose to step away from the team is too raw to handle without turning to humor.

Harry’s a bit jumpy, but he’s learning to play it off. I like that he’s a very different character from Nate, that it’s not his anger or ego driving him so much as a desire to make restitution.

And a “Dammit Hardison”

Ooh, Eliot’s in the vents too, just in time to help Parker. (She doubtless has her beloved taser but that would take time away from getting into the vault.)

“I smell lasers” Ahahahahaha

“You’re going to compare me to Eliot right now?” (’over the comms, where others who aren’t Eliot can hear?’ Hardison did not say out loud.)

ouch, okay, Hardison hurting his back like that might be what actually makes him choose the other gig over the team, or at what makes him take a little vacation so he can heal from that. (back injuries are nothing to play around with!)

how did Maxwell get past Eliot? but it’s all good, Eliot’s right behind to disarm him. And Parker’s been doing her hitting lessons, she didn’t even need a taser or to stab anyone!

Oh Harry, the bomb will be used, it’s just not time yet.

New Orleans gumbo is its own food group.

Okay so Hardison’s done a lot of work getting this place in order... WAIT IS THAT A PUNCHING BAG? That’s a punching bag! It might not be the love-letter the brewpub was but it’s definitely a thing added specifically for Eliot.

Oh no, Eliot might realize what Hardison’s doing with this, but Parker hasn’t caught up yet that Hardison’s going to be taking a break from the team.

Parker’s blindsided by this, and she’s upset, but she’s not mad because why didn’t she see this coming she should have seen it, so she leaves to deal with her emotions alone. Hardison follows, naturally, she knew he would, but she can’t face him because then he’ll see her crying, and Parker doesn’t do emotions easily. She’s torn between wanting him to help people and wanting to be with him (and she can’t go with him, she needs to be helping people too).

And Parker doesn’t want Breanna there without Hardison. Again because it’d put Hardison’s family in danger and that’s a step too far for Parker if Hardison doesn’t okay it. And also because with Hardison leaving, Breanna’s just going to be reminders of what Parker’s missing. And Breanna doesn’t have Hardison’s skillset, can’t fill his shoes - not that she should but she can’t, and Parker, I think, is already mentally preparing herself to go it alone again. Because if this job needs Hardison so bad, then surely Eliot’s got some project that needs his specific attention, and it was just one job for Breanna, and Sophie’s been adamant that this is one last job for her, and Harry’s still new and will probably decide to do his own thing given time to think... I think that’s where her brain is at, at least for the next thirty seconds, before she catches up with herself and realizes that more like the time she busted her leg than the team dissolving around her. (This kind of went weird places but that’s stream of thought for me)

And as they come back in Parker’s already cheering up some, because that wave of despair has already blown over. Yeah, she’s not a parent, but she’s good at teaching when she tries.

“It could be a reunion tour.”/“No. I’m retired.” It’s very different from Nate’s old protestations. He was not a thief. Whereas with Sophie it’s not ready. And while they all point out that she’s been happier while doing cons, that they could use the help, it’s not forceful or overpowering. It’s still Sophie’s decision. They’re not going to make her house their new base and taunt her with it; they’re not the sort of people who’d do that anymore, and anyway that’d be cruel instead of a fun sort of goading.

And because they give Sophie space to make a decision, while she doesn’t want to make a long-term commitment, she’s willing to take on ‘just a few more’.

[joshuaalbert]

ok here are my liveblog notes.

- girl we didn’t have to come out of the gate with “every important person in the series is the child of an older character.”

- this show literally thinks you’re stupid (note from like 7 hours later: i think this was about picard needing to explicitly explain that the ships were linked and moving into formation which like. no shit.)

- “if earth falls everything falls” yeah man fuck every other planet in the federation I guess

- I like this cook guy at least

- “jack is in there and he’s still jack” yeah the guy you know so well after like a week

- oh I guess picard is actually doing something for the first time this entire season instead of just. reacting to other people saying stuff to him. took long enough.

- geordi could be literally anyone please god give this man some technobabble or something. glad he gets to sit in the captain’s chair tho I know that was big for levar burton in tng

- oh nice deanna gets to be upset about riker rather than doing anything again. classic. worf you are the only one holding the line against white boy wednesday on a thursday.

- weren’t they just having a super hard time isolating his life signs the fuck

- well at least raffi and seven get to talk to each other 😐

- I mean the cook’s not wrong that it’s objectively stupid as hell to try to fight the entire fucking fleet alone but ok

- yeah wow the zombie movie imagery here. lm fucking ao.

- oh beverly did weapons so she’s good character now. this season’s entire philosophy.

- “planetary shields are down” yeah its almost like the stupidest plan of all time didn’t help but also nobody except picard is allowed to do anything so I guess this was to be expected. cant really blame her for this one i guess.

- except like. hey remember when seven became the most specialest person on all of voy and took over the entire show because she kept finding the solutions to problems and shit. lmao.

- like this moment of picard deciding to go back to the borg would have been powerful if we hadn’t been beating this dead horse for this many decades or if there was any actual sense of threat or. anything.

- “you are the part of me that I never knew was missing” yeah man “having biological children is the only key to a fulfilling life” is really progressive

- like this should be a really touching moment but there’s just. not enough chemistry here to make it work all these flashbacks are so surface level and take place in a week and you’re telling me this is enough

- like I’m a sucker for the power of love saves the day if it’s done well I won’t pretend I’m not but like. holy shit this aint it.

- oh shit deanna actually gets to do something what a fucking world

- “the time of the borg is over” god I wish but I’m sure they’ll keep finding a way to bring them back forever

- all those touching goodbyes might have been better if it ever felt like they were gonna have the guts to kill anyone off

- aw ok. seven hugging sidney was cute.

- NOT THIS AVENGERS ASS GIRLPOWER SHOT LIKE THEY ACTUALLY GOT TO DO ANYTHING. why are they nodding. what publicity fuckery.

- none of this felt earned. they were in the borg cube for like 15 minutes.

- hey uh I do not like this technology that “scans for other irregularities” that feels. bad.

- ok I’m glad tuvok is ok glad you got out of the bullshit alive

- oh yeah ok we’re just gonna frame starfleet as everyone’s happy ending. ok.

- no like remember back during uhhh whatever episode ro laren was in where it seemed like they might be actually critiquing starfleet some. what was the point of that if they were just gonna be like haha never mind starfleet is good for everyone it’s a place everyone needs to be to be happy.

- shaw knowing he was doing something wrong by calling her hansen doesn’t help actually and it definitely doesn’t help that he sounds like he’s about to start complaining about how hard it is to remember all these newfangled pronouns

- like I know I haven’t watched the first two seasons I’m not super familiar with raffi’s family stuff but this feels like a copout lmao

- the fact that they acknowledged ds9 continuity with “house of martok” but still managed to go the whole season not mentioning jadzia or alexander or anything is so. like.

- ok worf and raffi continue to be the best dynamic in this fucking show like they’re the only ones I actually feel anything for

- haha I love how they almost made deanna good at her job and then were like actually she and riker make fun of her patient

- my computer is buffering at the 1 year later mark I think it’s trying to save me

- “if ever there was better evidence that the past mattered” no please hammer the message of this season home harder

- why was that scene a year later have they just been standing there for a year. actually I guess it’s the only place in the whole world that’s lit well so maybe I’d stand there for a year too everyone probably has seasonal depression from being on the titan.

- oh my god

- oh myg od

- they. they fucking put him in red too. it wasn’t enough to be like yeah his happy ending is starfleet no it has to be the fucking command track he has to take after his father because god forbid he take after his mother to do something he was shown to be good at

- I hope I die for real actually.

- on one hand i feel like that nepotism line was a direct shot at wesley except they’re also doing the same thing but worse. so like ????? are they just trying to lampshade what they’re doing now it’s not fucking working.

- I’m going to fucking explode everyone forever

- the titan being renamed to the fucking enterprise is like. the perfect encapsulation of this show’s mentality. you can almost go forward a tiny bit (have new ship that is important) but then you HAVE to go back to the way things were (jk it’s the enterprise because that’s the only ship that can ever be important)

- stop namedropping your goddamn....it’s not even a planet now it’s a whole system. shut the fuck UP.

- yeah this is really professional. this is a functioning vessel. jack shut the hell up.

- what the fuck is this.

- isn’t this the same gag they used in the snw s2 trailer I haven’t actually watched it but I feel like I’ve seen a gifset

- jack shut up

- wow they really just didn’t want to have to make a decision on this. or they’re setting up the sequel. either way I hate being alive

- why did we even have a plot to this episode when they clearly just wanted to do the nostalgia world tour. I guess that explains why all the borg shit wrapped up so quickly they never actually wanted to do the plot. on one hand the plot was bad on the other hand watching 15 consecutive victory laps is also bad.

- this show is bad

- I can’t imagine what it must feel like to be someone who liked the first two seasons or cared about the bonds picard made with literally anyone else this is such a fuck you to all of that. hey remember laris. because even despite not watching the first two seasons I remember that she was in the first episode. but I know the show counts on you being too stupid to remember that anyway.

- ok I feel like that’s clearly just a premiere photo so that’s kind of funny

- jesus fuck

- let this man die

- there are literally tears in my eyes and not in a good way stop trying to set up a spinoff I’m so fucking tired

- everyone who hated wesley for being a mary sue had better hate jack that’s an order

🫥

[anotheruserwithnoname]

What am I looking forward to?

I get asked what I’m looking forward to in terms of entertainment as 2021 trundles along. I thought I’d put together a list of my thoughts of the things I have marked on my calendar (or am prepared to buy, as the case may be!)

Klokkenluider, The Sandman, The War Rooms: Obviously I’d be failing at my duty to not include Jenna Coleman’s trio of upcoming projects! I have a confession - I’ve yet to watch all of The Serpent, too. Hoping for a DVD or (even better) Blu-ray release of that later in the year too. UK has one already. Netflix does release many of its shows to permanent media so hopefully The Serpent will be one of them (ditto Sandman and War Rooms down the line).

Free Guy: the much-delayed video game-based film starring Ryan Reynolds and Jodie Comer. Reminds me of Ready Player One, which was one of my favourite films of the last few years. And it’s the first leading film role for Jodie Comer from Killing Eve and it looks like she might be playing a nerdy version of Villanelle (without all the murdery sociopathic stuff; at least, I assume!). 

No Time to Die: Some aspects of the trailers have me concerned, and whenever I hear people talk about “new directions” I get antsy because that rarely ends well. But this is Bond and while there has been the occasional poor 007 film in the past (A View to a Kill and Quantum of Solace are the only Bond films I dislike and avoid; not a bad ratio out of 25) the odds of me liking it are pretty good (hell, I even consider Spectre to be one of the best Bonds ever, and I know that’s unpopular opinion). I was concerned about Phoebe Waller-Bridge being one of the writers due to my opinion that Fleabag is overrated (I know, another unpopular opinion), but that was before I saw her work on Killing Eve. If she brings some of that spirit to the film, it’ll work. Some of the things people are complaining about don’t bug me, especially regarding the 007 designation which belonged to somebody else before the events of the 2006 Casino Royale film and in all likelihood they’ll reboot continuity with whoever follows Daniel Craig anyway so none of that matters. They could kill Bond off and it wouldn’t make a difference.

Lower Decks Season 2: Speaking of unpopular opinion, Season 1 was one of the most pleasant surprises of last year. I think the backlash against Lower Decks is primarily a case that, for many fans, their dislike and disappointment of the current state of the franchise is so high that even if they do something good, it’s rejected automatically. I’ve given up on Discovery, have little interest in Picard (I had good things to say about it last year but it’s not aged well) and don’t care to see Strange New Worlds. So I was prepared to pooh-pooh on Lower Decks (I could have worded that a bit more elegantly; I dedicate that to Seth McFarlane) but, while it’s obviously a non-canon spoof, it still feels like Trek, which I cannot say for the current live-action shows. Basically that means it’s The Orville done for Star Trek. Which is fine, because it works better than Discovery’s and definitely Short Trek’s attempts at Orvilling (which in my opinion was about as entertaining as gerbilling - did I type that out loud?). And I think Beckett Mariner is the most interesting lead character of a Trek series in years. Speaking of The Orville...

The Orville Season 3: It’s in Red Dwarf territory right now in terms of it taking forever between seasons, and I am worried that being on Hulu might make it too edgy and turn away the many who latched onto it because Discovery was too edgy. But I have faith in Seth McFarlane, so eventually we’ll see it. If not, maybe I’ll give Avenue 5 a shot. Oh, and I am expecting Season 3 to be the end. It feels like getting it made - even taking C19 into account - was very difficult this time around and McFarlane sounds like he has a lot on his plate. If it does end, I hope somebody continues it in novel or comic book form (the comics have been incredible - seriously some of the best tie-ins I’ve read in years, and they’re canon too apparently thanks to being written by the show’s producer).

Magnum PI Season 4: It’s a sweet show and I watch it for the Magnum-Higgins ship (which is currently following the Clara-Danny trajectory). And I keep hoping co-star Perdita Weeks is able to recruit BFF Jenna Coleman to appear someday. So there’s that.

Legends of Tomorrow Season 7 and the conclusion of Supergirl Season 6. Another unpopular take is I happen to really like these two CW shows. Supergirl is calling it a day after 6 seasons, with the final season split into two parts, with the second half airing later this summer. Legends is still midway through S6 but has been renewed for a 7th. Both are fun, with Legends literally being the only show on TV that is legitimately unpredictable (seriously, this past week was a riff on Baby Yoda of all things - and no, Beebo was a riff on Furby. Different merch magnet, pay attention.), plus it’s most likely (IMO) the reason why John Constantine the character is unavailable for The Sandman series (which opened the door for Jenna Coleman to be cast as his ancestor Johanna, which is fine by me!).

Killing Eve Season 4: obviously. It’s only because of Jenna Coleman that you’re not getting wall-to-wall Jodie Comer on this blog. If she and Jenna are ever cast together in anything, I might need to call an ambulance.

Peter Capaldi’s debut album. It’s about time! No it’s not, that would be silly. And I don’t want to thank C19 for creating the circumstances that led to Peter doing a record. But still - a Peter Capaldi album is coming. It just better not be digital-only. I want to see him on the New Release rack at Sunrise Records.

So looks like I have a lot of stuff to occupy my time coming up!

[the-goofball]

Raffi Musiker...

...and how she became Picard’s First Officer.

Excerpt from ‘The Last Best Hope’ by Una McCormack

[...]On-screen, the woman said, "My name is Lieutenant Commander Raffi Musiker, and I'm an intelligence specialist at Romulan Affairs. As you're aware, we've been tracking some odd communications from Romulan space in recent weeks - odd even by Romulan standards."

Listening to Musiker, Picard found himself taking a liking to her. She had a faintly disreputable air, a plesant change from the smooth operatives that Starfleet Intelligence usually fielded. Her frankness was refreshing, as was the fact that she was clearly not daunted by the grandeur of her audience. Most of all, she was on top of her briefing. A question came about the reliability of their sources, which was dispatched with confidence and ease. Then another question came about the range of the blast from the supernova, and here she stopped and took a moment to collect herself.

"What I want to say is, that these calculations are a worst-case scenario. This implies that effects in climate change are already being felt. Sometime in 2387. I'll show you that first. Because it might make the best-case scenario less damn frightening."

Picard leaned over to Clancy. "What was her name again?" "Raffi Musiker," said Clancy. "Lieutenant Commander Raffi Musiker."[...]

Hours later Picard talks to Beverly Crusher via com:

[...]"Can I offer you some free advice?" she said.

"Of course, Beverly. Of course."

"Put someone right next to you who isn't scared of you."

"Scared--?"

"You're quite... now, let me get this right. Not intimidating... not severe... huh. That's it. You can be quite certain of yourself. And that can stop people from telling you things that you need to know."

"Certain of myself?"

That half-smile again. "Don't get me wrong! With good reason. Most of the time. But you're only human like the rest of us. You make mistakes. And you need someone there who's able to tell you when that's happening."[...]

.

[…]Lieutenant Commander Raffi Musiker, when asked to wait for a senior officer, did not generally sit patiently in a chair, and she saw no reason to do so for a legend either. She stood outside the admiral’s office, bouncing up and down ever so slightly on her heels, ready for action.[…]

[…]Raffi mentally ran through her presentation one more time. The instruction to see the admiral had been brief, courteous, and not particularly informative as to the purpose of the meeting. She knew, from superiors and colleagues, the impact of her presentation and so she assumed she was here to give a direct one to the man himself and answer any questions he might have. Then back to her desk at Romulan Affairs. Only now she would have met a legend. Gabe, her son, was dying to hear about him. Mom’s job was mostly that thing that meant she didn’t always make his soccer matches, but every so often she managed to deliver something incredibly cool, like this.[…]

(And because I couldn’t decide what to leave out, there’s a bit more under the cut.)

[…]The admiral closed the screen, rose from his chair, and came to greet her. The legend, come to life. She had the edge on him when it came to height, but he moved with a commanding grace. “Commander,” he said, “thank you for making the time to see me today.” His voice was measured, cadenced; the kind of voice, she suspected, that you could not help but listen to, and then do exactly what was requested.

“Happy to supply whatever you need, sir.” She looked around the room for an audience that wasn’t there. Didn’t he have a senior staff in place yet? “Are we meeting here?”

He gestured to two comfortable seats in the corner of the room, where teapot and cups stood waiting on a low table. “Take a seat. Tea?”

“Sure, thanks.” Raffi sat, uneasy in the easy chair, putting padds on the floor beside her, and then leaning forward, palms on her knees. He took the chair opposite, smiled disarmingly, and poured tea. “I assumed I was giving a presentation this morning, sir.” She sipped her tea. What the hell was this stuff? It tasted of goddamned perfume. Was it too late to ask for coffee?

“I’ve watched your presentation half a dozen times now,” he said. “It’s insightful, informative, and precise. I was very impressed.”

Hey Gabe, wait till you hear what the Great Man said about Mom. “Thank you, sir.”

“Could you tell me, please, from your perspective as an expert on Romulan affairs, what you believe our chief difficulty will be in Starfleet’s dealings with them?”

He didn’t waste time, did he? Raffi took a breath. “Opposition, sir,” she said. “Believe it or not, they are not happy that Starfleet is devoting so much time, energy, and resources to helping them. They are hating all this. They hate that we know they’re in trouble, and they hate accepting help. They won’t want to lose face.”

“I understand. What else?”

“And even if they’re united on this, they’ll be divided among themselves about what to do with us. Some will want to accept our help for a while. Some will try to make it impossible for us to function. Others might try to get rid of us—”

“By force?”

“By subterfuge, more likely. Secretly, so that half of them won’t know whether it’s a sanctioned operation or not. The saying in our office goes that Romulans don’t tell their left hand what their right hand is doing.”

The admiral nodded. Yes, he recognized that.

“That makes them inconsistent and unpredictable,” Raffi said. “Not to mention damn annoying. They’ll say one thing and do another, and they won’t even know themselves what their real policy is toward us. Expect the unexpected, sir.”

“I see. Would it help at all, Commander, if I approached Ambassador Spock and had him petition the Senate to instruct cooperation with this mission?”

“Excuse me, sir? How would that help?”

He looked surprised. “The ambassador surely commands considerable respect—”

Raffi laughed out loud. “Spock? They think he’s a nutcase!”

His eyes opened wide. Shit, she thought, me and my big mouth. She had a vision of herself, explaining to Gabe: No, the admiral hated me, and that’s why I’m being court-martialed… Hold on. Was he… smiling? “Sorry, sir,” she said quickly. “No, I wouldn’t advise that. Ambassador Spock’s mission to Romulus may look very laudable to us, but from the Romulan perspective he and his supporters are outliers. Reunification of Romulus and Vulcan? Hey, when I was a kid, I wanted a unicorn. With wings. I didn’t get one. I didn’t even get a damn pony—”

“A personal mission of peace, the ambassador calls it.”

“Well, the Romulans consider it very personal. Almost…” She scraped around for a word that wouldn’t offend. “Um. Idiosyncratic?”

“In other words, they think he’s a crank.” He was most definitely smiling. “Carry on talking so frankly to me, Commander,” he said, “and we shall get along very well. Very well indeed.”

The door buzzer sounded. He called out, “Come.” Kaul came in.

“Apologies for the interruption, sir, but you asked me to let you know immediately when the ship was ready for you.”

“Ah, yes, thank you, Kaul! Yes, I’ll be on my way shortly.” He turned back to Raffi. “The Starship Verity has been assigned to lead the first fleet out to Romulan space. A nice name, don’t you think?”

“Sure…?”

“ ‘A true principle, especially one of fundamental significance.’ ” He looked pleased. “I believe that remembering such things will be crucial to the success of our undertaking. Above all, we are on a mission to protect, preserve, and save lives.”

Raffi nodded, faintly. This meeting was not going in the slightest how she had anticipated. No presentation. He said he’d already watched it half a dozen times. He clearly didn’t want it in person. For some reason they were now discussing eternal verities. She was a simple intelligence officer, maybe turned a mite suspicious by having to think like a Romulan twenty-four hours a day. She wasn’t any kind of philosopher. Why was she here?

“Lieutenant Kaul,” added Picard conversationally, “was on staff here before even I was. Seconded from Admiral Bordson’s office. Their loss has been my gain. She’ll be vital to operations here on Earth.”

There it was again, that extraneous information, as if giving her a picture of the setup here.

“Sir,” said Raffi, “may I ask you something?”

“By all means,” said the Great Man. “You must always feel you can speak freely to me.”

She’d never had any superior officer say that to her. Sometimes quite the contrary.

“This isn’t a briefing, is it?” said Raffi. “This is an interview.”

“That’s correct, Commander. My apologies if I kept my cards close to my chest, but I wanted to see how you answered my questions face-to-face.” He sipped some of his revolting tea. “You’ve answered them most satisfactorily.”

“Which means…?”

“Which means I’d like you as my XO.”

She put down her cup with a rattle. Tea spilled. “Shit!”

His mouth twitched. “I sincerely hope not. Most certainly we have some difficult times ahead. More difficult than either of us can imagine.”

She turned and looked out through the transparent aluminum partition into the busy office. All those people, dashing about, putting the nuts and bolts of this mission together, building this operation from data, information, decisions, actions. Sure, it was easy to take the piss out of the padd pushers, but nothing could happen without them. Working out what was needed, where it could be found, how to get it all to the right place at the right time. She had no idea how to do this… She took a breath. How do you say “no” to a legend?

“Sir,” she said, “I’m not an administrator.”

He blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

“I mean, this is a flattering offer, sir, I hope you understand that. Truly flattering. But an operation like this?” She gestured to the room beyond. “I’m not cut out for this kind of work. I wouldn’t know where to start.”

She saw understanding dawn in his eyes. “Ah, there has been a misunderstanding. I have a very able administrator arriving to head up the office here on Earth, Commander Crystal Gbowee. She’s on her way from Starbase 192 as we speak. She’s worked with the UFPHCR coordinating numerous missions— she was on Bajor for a while after the Occupation, and on Cardassia Prime during the reconstruction effort there. Once she arrives, I shall move over to the fleet. This mission must get underway, and soon.” He glanced out across the busy room. “No, the appointment here is filled, I’m afraid. I’m sorry if that’s a disappointment.”

His eyes were quietly twinkling with suppressed mirth. No, of course he didn’t want her here. She’d be no damn good here, would she?

“Then—”

He leaned forward in his seat, held her eye, very serious now. “I’m asking you to come aboard my ship, Commander. Be my first officer on the Verity. But I’m asking more than that, and I think you know it. I have left my crew behind on the Enterprise. I must replace them, and if I am to succeed, I need an excellent XO. And what I require above all from my XOs is honesty. I shall need you always to tell me the truth. What do you say? Is that something you believe that you could do?”

Shit, she thought, and managed not to say it out loud this time. No, this was not what she’d been expecting when she’d walked into this room.

“It’s a big decision,” he was saying. “There may be all manner of ties keeping you here on Earth…”

Gabe had a soccer match next week. She’d missed the last one putting together that damn presentation. “When does the ship leave?”

“Six days.”

So she could make Gabe’s match. But there would be the next match, or the match after, the long months away, the individual seconds and moments of simply being present that were tiny for her, but that constituted the whole of Gabe’s life, his childhood.

“I…” Damn, she wanted this post. She could do this job. She was made to do this job. She’d known the second she walked into this room that she wanted to work with this man in some way. But she’d never imagined she would be offered this. Right hand to a legend. Right in the middle of the greatest operation that Starfleet would ever mount.

He was smiling at her. “Would you like to see the ship, Commander? The Verity? You’d be spending a lot of time there, after all. You can make your decision after that.”

“Yes,” she said, already knowing what her decision would be. “I’d love to see the ship.”