#is this self-destructive?
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want to live with daniel molloy-levels of disregard for my life, simply live for the plot
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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"It's all in your head." - Thank you Janette, that's why it's called mental illness. It cannot be in my ass.
#bpd#actually bpd#tw sui ideation#bpd thoughts#actual bpd#borderline personality disorder#actually mentally ill#bpd vent#mental illness#tw self destruction#bpd meme#bpd mood#tw vent#meme#random thoughts#random#tumblr#shitpost
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A Lifetime Served in a Little Cup
pt.1 / pt.2 / pt.3 / pt.4
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bill, babygirl, the red flags get outta there
#gravity falls#billford#the book of bill#standford pines#bill cipher#stump art#comic#A Lifetime Served in a Little Cup comic#AND WE'RE DONE !!!!#a month of my life condensed into a frantic gay mania#i'll wanna do a post-mortem at some point because that'll be FUN#but yeah i really love this stupid comic#was just a random concept i decided to commit to . thought this would take a weekend but lol#anyways to the folks who been reading i hope you enjoyed !!!!#they're gay !!! they're going to mutually self destruct !!!!!#they're going to accidentally both buy into the same timeshare in florida and then be forced to share !!!#romantic comedy of the fucking century !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#GOOD for THEM !!!!!!!!!!!!
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#franz kafka#metamorphosis#the metaphors#books and reading#just girls being girls#just girly thoughts#just girly things#just girly posts#the feminine urge#the female experience#the feminine mystique#girl blogger#girlblogging#girl interrupted#female hysteria#the female urge#female manipulator#divine feminine#female experience#self destruction#insecurity#self image#books#old books#tumblr girls#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#girls girls girls#obsessive thinking#i wanna be pretty#im just a girl
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#vent post#vent blog#ventcore#vent#mentally fucked#self h@te#s3lf hate#mentally drained#kinda depressing#tw depressing stuff#s3lf harn#self h@rm#tw depressing thoughts#tw selfhate#tw self destructive behavior#feeling sad#self destruction
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#actually borderline#bpd feels#bpd mood#bpd problems#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#actually bpd#borderline personality disorder#depressing shit#living with ptsd#tw bpd vent#tw self destructive behavior#tw depressing thoughts#tw depressing stuff#tw depression#actually ptsd#childhood trauma#trauma#borderline things#borderline thoughts#sad thoughts#suicide
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this is my favourite daniel molloy-ism by the way
#I’m enchanted by his self-destructive tendencies.#text#daniel molloy#what does he have except his career and his talent going for him at this point in his life. of course he picks the book over his life.#interview with the vampire
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Is somebody gonna match my freak? (Double suicide)
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#tw sui ideation#tw s3lf harm#tw self destruction#dissociation#tw depressing thoughts#depressing quotes#depressing shit#depressing life#mental health#mental illness#actually bpd#bpd#bpd vent#bpd thoughts#bpd mood#bpd problems#bpd stuff
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They should invent a way to kill yourself that doesn’t disappoint anyone
#vent#tw depressing stuff#tw depression#depressing shit#kinda depressing#mentally exhausted#depressing life#tw self destructive thoughts#tw self destructive behavior#tw self destruction
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Late night walks hit different when u feel empty and suicidal
#bpd#pienblr#bpd vent#jiraiblogging#bpd mood#actually bpd#jirai onna#bpd stuff#bpd feels#bpd problems#suic1de#self destruction#tw sui ideation
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#tw depressing thoughts#depressing life#depressing shit#self destruction#this is depressing#kinda depressing#sorry for being depressing#i wanna die#self h@rm#slef harm#su1c1dal#hitting styro#made of styro#s3lf harn#s3lf mutilation#s3lfharmm#self mutalition#self destructive behavior#sewer slide#sh cvt#sh twt#shtmblr#tw sh implied#sh vent#tw sh in tags#tw sh related
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"You'll be fine" - Dude, it's been 10 years...
#bpd#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#tw sui ideation#actual bpd#borderline personality disorder#actually mentally ill#bpd vent#mental illness#tw self destruction#actually borderline#borderline blog#mentally insane#mental instability#mentally unstable#mental health
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#self destruction#tw self h4rm#self destructor#i’m not here#self h@rm#tw depressing stuff#i wanna kms#tw depression#imma kms#the perks of being a wallflower
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I wanna cry, scream, hurt myself, and die so bad, but I just don't have energy for anything anymore...
I feel so damn exhausted
#depressing life#depressing shit#kinda depressing#mentally exhausted#tw depression#tw self destructive thoughts#tw self destruction#vent#bpd#bpd mood#bpd thoughts#bpd feels#bpd vent
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