#is this noah speaking or is this a self insert.

[blankfairy]

Dr. Finn Bondevik — Reagent #4314

since my process of creating ocs is just inserting the same people into different media, behold: dr. finley "finn" bondevik, murkoff researcher turned reagent.

intelligent, ruthless, and horribly stubborn. after being discovered speaking out against some of dr. easterman's methods, finn was forcibly placed in the trials to 'teach him a lesson,' and some humility. despite his lack of practical skill, he survives by use of his insider knowledge of the trials ... which makes some of those around him, such as fellow reagents eli booker and noah colter, suspicious of his true origins.

i think i just blacked out for like an hour while i made this. this was so fun. now have the intense urge to go play the outlast trials. template here, by @glitcheddead ! hope the tag is okay. thanks for making such a cool template !! art is by molnyash.

and, in case no one can read my handwriting in an unfortunately dense line thickness, a transcript is under the cut!

PSYCHOLOGY AMBITIONS: Thought to be loyal until found speaking against Dr. Easterman's methods. Possibly sought to sell data? Seeks to earn freedom from the trials. Eager researcher, as much in the trials and out. Makes notes of system flaws. Puts himself first, always.

FEARS: Especially fearful of prime assets. Avoids at all costs. (Note: Force interaction.) Death. Has extreme self-preservation instincts at the cost of others. Tries not to interact with other reagents; fearful of being discovered. (Note: Leave clues to foster distrust?) (Note: Remind him of what could happen if he was. Was given safety and security and spat in the face of our entire project.)

SOCIAL AFFINITY: DR. EASTERMAN: Reagent shows intense hatred after being transferred to the trials. Will be taught humility.

CORNELIUS NOAKS & EMILY BARLOW: Former colleagues. Will not acknowledge him as anything other than another reagent.

LELAND COYLE, MOTHER GOOSEBERY, FRANCO BARBI, SKINNER MAN: Participated in R+D. Keep a close eye on interaction and note if any assets recognize him.

[deeptrashwitch]

Learning a couple of things

(Is Alicia liking for history heavily influenced by what I study? Yes, it is! Is her main theme of interest influenced by the fact I wanna make a master on Asian and Pacific Studies once I finish my major? Also yes 😅😅 I guess this one is a bit of a self insert as well)

*The Specters were on leave after a long and dangerous mission, so they decided to pass by and stay some days on the Warrior Task Force (@islandtarochips creation!) base. Noah was being a little explosion gremlin along with Agnes, Elijah and Alexander were speaking with Nigel, Tiala was talking with Elizabeth and Luke meanwhile the rest was on the beach passing the time. And Alicia? Well...*

Alicia: *reading and leaning against one of the walls*

Kanoa: Hey Alicia! What are you reading? *walking towards her*

Alicia: Hi Noa *closes her book and extends it to him* just reading about the Pacific Islands before the nineteenth century

Kanoa: Never knew you were interested *surprised*

Alicia: I have a lot of interest in history in general *chuckles* wanna sit? If I start talking we'll stay here for hours

Kanoa: *sits beside her* So, you like history, huh?

Alicia: A lot *smiles* I specially like to read about Latinamerican history and politics because of my family, also everything related to Asian history

Kanoa: Do you have many of these? *pointing to the book*

Alicia: Back at home we have a library well stocked *giggles* advantages of a lawyer brother and a journalist sister

Kanoa: Wow *chuckles* but why do you seem so dissapointed? Didn't like our history?

Alicia: Never say thay *points at him with a smile* never

Kanoa: Alright, then?

Alicia: I thought the book would be a serious one, but turns out it wasn't *sighs* most of it sounds...fake

Kanoa: Can I take a look?

Alicia: Go on, tell me if I'm the one wrong or if it's the book *smiles*

*Kanoa starts to read while Alicia whistles a little melody. Then the Captain started to muttred and close the book*

Kanoa: Where did you find this?

Alicia: A museum store, I'm...dissapointed to say the least

Kanoa: No wonder why, this is almost everything wrong

Alicia: Care to explain?

Kanoa: It'll be a long conversation

Alicia: Meh, I don't have anything else to do

Kanoa: Mmmm, what if we make a group outing around the island? We can talk while we walk

Alicia: Yeah, let's go *points to a hangar* before Noah and Agnes cause a disaster

Kanoa: What?! Who let them together?! *standing up alarmed*

Alicia: *laughs* Easy, easy, Jackson is with them *standing up* he'll control them

Kanoa: You almost gave me a heart attack!

Alicia: Sorry *side smiling*

Kanoa: Let's go for everyone, and don't do that again, Alicia, please

Alicia: No worries, I won't

*Soon the WTF and the Specters were waking around the island, while Kanoa explained some things to Alicia, with some Tiala's help when she noticed*

[the-artsy-collective]

about us

[PT: about us]

we are a plural collective (don't refer to us as a system!).

we use the term "shift" to refer to people that can access the body, and the term "brain person" for any person that is in the brain (whether they can access the body or not), we don't use the terms "alter" or "headmate" (as of now) for personal reasons, please respect that.

please no syscourse, we are pro-endogenic, but have some pretty controversial beliefs we would like to keep to ourselves.

we use "we" when referring to multiple of us and "i" when referring to one of us.

there are 100+ of us (as of september 1st, 2024).

we made this blog to engage in the plural community for the first time since discovering our plurality back in 2021. (syscourse is scary, can you blame us?).

tags are formatted as "*insert person here* speaks" and "*insert person here* reblogs"

the body speaks 3 languages, but there are other languages spoken in headspace.

alphabetical list of frequenters below cut:

abigail (she/her) - communicator, anxiety holder, emotionalist, emotional regulator, guide, intermediary, impersonator, vital

adelaide (she/her) - insecurity holder, music holder, secret keeper, emotional guardian

aech (xae/xaer) - controller, core, medicine taker, hyperfixation holder, spin holder, tracker, rolemaster, gender holder

alec (he/him) - aggressor (partially), depression holder, external protector, internalizer, pain manager, persecutor

campbell (he/him) - trauma manager, energetic shift, stim holder, lunderemate

crowley (he/she/they) - confidence holder, emotional processor, nightmare holder, protector, translator

ghost (they/them) - dresser, intrarelatian, love manager

layla (any) - admin, caretaker, chameleon, internal self-helper, vital

lúkas (they/he/she) - persecutor, depression holder, impersonator

mykey (he/it) - persecutor, aggressor, emotional processor

noah (pronoun questioning) - internalizer, gender holder, gender dysphoria holder

party poison (they/them) - mood booster, protector, praiser

sierra (she/her) - communicator, socializer, thought reader

steven (he/him) - admin, vital, steward, internal protector

[woltourney]

ROUND 1 / SIDE B / POLL 7

K'pehli Tia / Sae'pheli'ehva (@hallowed-nebulae) v. U'zula (@mischiefmilly)

K'pehli Tia / Sae'pheli'ehva:

q. What is your WoL name and pronouns? a. K'pheli Tia or Sae'pheli'ehva (he has two names for worldbuilding reasons); he/they, but usually uses he/him.

q. What is your WoL's species? a. Miqo'te!

q. What is your WoL's class? Or classes? a. Started as Dragoon and Scholar, did Bard, is now primarily Dark Knight or Atrologian. If in doubt, Astrologian.

q. What data centre/server are you on, if you want people to find you? a. Aether data center, on Faerie!

q. Tell us a bit about your WoL! a. To sum up what would otherwise be a huge ramble: he is the vessel/reincarnation of an eons old god. He's chronically ill, has chronic pain, and gets attached to A'aba Tia, Aulie, and the other scions who all die in the waking sands incident. (He and Arenvalds are bros). He and his cousin Mehka trade on who's doing WoL things based on who's got the ability. K'pheli embarks on the crystal tower expedition with NOAH and falls head over heels for G'raha along the way. He has no strong feelings on being a hero, but does what he does because "I refuse to let Fate create more tragedies". In his free time he enjoys writing and trying to figure out how to lead Mor Dhona (the people all decided that the god should be the one in charge). He's a very self-indulgent self-inseet where I toss in a lot of worldbuilding that no one but me cares about. Also very important he has chronic aether sickness and chronic pain and simply refuses to die or go mad from said aether sickness. Rip to everyone else but they're different.

q. Why should YOU win? (Answer IC!) a. "It would make Raha happy to see me win. Also I was encouraged by my friends to do this, I didn't beat away my anxiety with a stick just to lose this competition."

q. Anything else you wanna add? a. As said before he's a very self-indulgent self-insert. He's bisexual, afab genderfluid, and has chronic pain and is chronically ill. Because I made him to play with divinity tropes, there's a religion that worships him! (G'raha started it because dramatic bisexual history nerd fell in love and decided if he's gonna love a god then everyone else should know that his god is a god. Because fun tropes and metaphors and such. Also worldbuilding potential.) He's called the Crystal God and he can expell excess aether as aether-filled crystals. Also he made a pact with a voidsent (a friend's oc) who eats his aether as well, so even though he's still got way too much aether for his body k'pheli has avoided death this far. He's just here to be bisexual and love G'raha a lot. As one does.

U'zula:

q. What is your WoL name and pronouns? a. U'zula, he/him

q. What is your WoL's species? a. Miqote

q. What is your WoL's class? Or classes? a. DRG through Stormblood, GNB afterwards

q. What data centre/server are you on, if you want people to find you? a. N/A

q. Tell us a bit about your WoL! a. U'zula is a miqote from the U tribe - he leaves his tribe behind a short while before ARR begins to see more of the world. He became a hero through the story, and he enjoys it - in particular, he loves meeting little kids who recognize him and will always take the time to speak with them. He loves to cook and dance in his free time, and the Scions enjoy varying latin music, phrases (read: curse words), and dishes thanks to his influence.

q. Why should YOU win? (Answer IC!) a. Well, I should win because I'll host the best after-party you could hope for - good music, good food, and good people!! You wouldn't want to miss that, now would you?

q. Anything else you wanna add? a. He's more aggressive and brash in the early expansions, but has mellowed out by ShB and EW!!

[spicybylerpolls]

Can anyone give an idea of why sexual thoughts about these two are objectively bad? 

Ok, first think of the kind of creepy perv who it would scare you to know they are thinking sexually about you. Is it because they look or seem dirty and gross? What does that actually mean? 

Secondly, are they a predator because of it? Are they acting like a predator? Or are they simply thinking private thoughts and you have no idea they’re even doing it other than a hunch? 

And lastly, is the idea of deviant sexuality something that grosses you out, period? 

These three are sounding suspiciously like the subtext of stranger things’ plot. Monsters and prejudice vs an apparently deviant predator. 

The main issue against this blog and the practises it endorses seems to be that people don’t want to KNOW. You can keep your deviancy to yourself. Which is an entirely different branch of the issue than whether it is actually ok to be ‘deviant’ or not. 

If you’re not hurting anyone, what makes sexual fantasy objectively bad? Ok, so maybe it’s the very idea of byler fans being a bit lewd about these two teens. Perhaps it seems like these fans are bad people at heart because they give in to those desires of enjoying byler in a sexual context. Although again that screams to me of the id and the shadow self and the dark psyche - what Vecna represents in s4. Considering that healthy sex/fantasy is enjoyable, pleasurable, fun, why is this considered more perverted than other taboo topics like violence? 

Is it because taking pleasure from someone (without their knowledge, as when fantasising about someone) is considered worse than doing something unenjoyable / painful / bad / violent? Of course sex can be used as violence, but no one here is doing that. Yet still, some bylers think that fantasy is a violation of something akin to committing physical violence. 

I don’t know the answers, I’m just spitballing. It’s just interesting to me, perhaps because I have a background in visual art and in theatre. I’ve got experience discussing and considering works that examine pretty much any taboo you can imagine. For example, there’s a play from the POV of a convicted paedophile in prison. There’s also a play called Sylvia and Sheep or something (can’t remember) but it’s about bestiality. It basically asks why our society considers bestiality to be morally wrong, when only fifty years ago, homosexuality was considered to be just as heinous. The answer seems obvious: animals can't speak and so can't give consent. But the play makes interesting and surprising counter-arguments.

These plays are both controversial works. Not to say I agree with the ideas in practise, but as an artist, I cannot disagree with the examination of those ideas. 

So perhaps people here think that byler can't give consent, because they're too young to know better, or because you're thinking about them without their consent. But you can see how both of these arguments don't hold up considering they are fictional characters, and we are imagining them together, not self-inserting into the narrative. Also, you don't consent to think something lol.

Also to bring this around to the performers in case anyone was still claiming that Finn or noah themselves might be uncomfortable with sexual content for byler, Finn has said his favourite genre of literature is transgressive fiction, which includes authors like Charles Bukowski, who are rather dark and twisted. He said to the audience at the con (who were mainly minors) that these books are not suitable for them lol. 

Also, I COULD use this last as more vague evidence that Finn may indeed be queer but I’m not going to go there 

very interesting points! much to think about.

[noco7]

Do you think RR Noah felt kind of OOC?

I could speak for hours about RR Noah. There's a lot that bothers me about him in that season, that's more than just him being "OOC." And it's more than just n*mma.

But yes, he is OOC. It's stated in canon that Owen finds Noah's actions strange. He sees Noah staring at Emma, and it's so strange that the only explanation he can come up with is "maybe he has rabies." The fact that n*mma is unnatural is not only lampshaded, but honestly the point. Noah is acting strange! Because he's in loooove. And "love makes you do strange things" !!! Which isn't completely untrue, but that means you have to assume Noah was in love with Emma as soon as he saw her. Which uhh, doesn't quite make sense, considering Noah has always been the "unimpressed" one.

N*mma's like a self-insert fic. Noah, stoic cold Noah, took one look at her and suddenly he can't take his eyes off her. Suddenly he's doing everything to help her win, everything to be near her. And well, that works when your Y/N, when it's a fanfic and the people reading already want to believe. So the point isn't to be accurate, but to present the most promising fantasy. And there's nothing wrong with that.

But it's not the writing you do for a TV show, when you're trying to convince people who's never seen this ship that it makes sense. (And especially not the writing you do when you also have to convince the audience that the guy in it isn't gay.)

But Noah's decline in RR is more than just N*mma. There's the fact that they set up a promise in the first episode and broke it. There's the fact that his character arc is a circle. There's the fact that RR as a season doesn't really suit Noah's strengths. And yeah, there's the fact that n*mma was poorly written.

So let's walk our way through this.

1) Noah says in the first episode, that he is going to focus on WINNING. "Every reality show I've been on, I lost. This time, no excuses, no distractions." I am bolding this because it is very important. Noah wants to win. This is a little strange for Noah, but it's good, and its easy to fill in the reasons. He's tired of losing is the obvious one. Maybe he needs the money, maybe it's a New Years resolution. It's be great if the show told us exactly why he's taking the show serioudly, but it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

The important thing is he's finally going to TRY. Right? Right?

Nope. The challenge in the 2nd episode is to pick out five specific spices. Noah says "just give us the five closest to you." 🤦‍♂️ This wasn't even his own plan. He copied Dwaynes. Like... what happened to trying? What happened to wanting to win? And then makes Owen eat the resulting mess, so again. What effort is Noah putting in? Where's the try? BTW - one of the spices he was supposed to identify was cinnamon. CINNAMON. How does he not know what cinnamon is? Like at least try to get one right. (Honestly, this whole challenge sucks? Only white people would think identifying spices is a challenge.)

There's also a challenge where he has to memorize an Icelandic phrase. Just one phrase. Somehow he fucks this up. He's supposedly a smart guy, and he fucks this up.

It's like the writers forgot that his character existed beyond snark. Noah is supposed to be a smart guy. Why can't he memorize one phrase? He's also supposed to be Indian ... like from, you know, India, the place that's known for its spices? Hmm. I'm not saying he has to know every single spice, but it feels fake that he doesn't know one.

Again, what happened to trying? What happened to "focusing on the cheddar?" aka the prize money? What happened to attempting competence?

So when I say they set up a promise in the first episode and broke it, this is what I mean. They set up an idea and completely forgot about it, to the point of making Noah dumber than he rationally should be.

2) So remember Noah in Island? He wasn't really a character till the dodgeball episode, where he refused to help his teammates, made fun of them, and gets eliminated for it.

Now think of Noah's last episode in RR. He refuses to help Owen with the Komodo dragon and gets himself flattened by a pile of rugs. And you think "oh well now he can't help because he's stuck, poor baby." But he can help himself because he does when Emma calls him. But he refuses to on his own, or when Owen calls out to him. And they get eliminated because of it. So once again, Noah refuses to help his teammates and gets eliminated for it.

Which makes it sound like it's not OOC, he's just a really flat character. And that's sorta true, but the RR version is WORSE.

Noah never made a promise to win in Island. And the teammates he was refusing to help - he didn't know them. They were strangers. And above all, he didn't directly cause their loss. Sure, he was deadweight, but the team could have won without him if it weren't for Harold.

But in RR, the person he's refusing to help is Owen. His best friend. The nicest person alive, the guy who did everything for Noah when Emma dumped him. He's refusing to help his best friend win, and making sure they lose. Why? Because he's decided he doesn't care about the game anymore, now that he has Emma. Great, but OWEN'S STILL RIGHT THERE.

Despite the narrative trying to tell us that Noah is a nicer person because of Emma, he's still clearly selfish AF. You could even say he's gotten WORSE now. And that really fucking sucks.

So when I say Noah's character arc is a circle, I mean it. His selfish actions have not changed, despite three years, a girlfriend, and the nicest best friend in the world.

3) RR as a season doesn't suit Noah. What do I mean by that? Well, RR is a season where everyone is divided into pairs that rarely interact with each other. It's not that they never interact - the Icedancers and the Cops rivalry is unmatched, but that they don't do it all that often. It's more coincidental to run into another group than anything else. At least that's the vibe I got.

But Noah is a character who thrives off being mean to a variety of people that he's had time to observe. In WT, Noah got to make fun of Tyler and Izzy and Alejandro and Sierra and Heather and Chris, all people he knew pretty well. Noah doesn't know the people in RR. And the only ones he gets close to are Owen, his girlfriend, and his girlfriend's sister. The latter two are off-limits to insult, so Owen gets stuck with all the mean things.

And this doesn't work, because Noah's best insults are ones that are either make you say a) 'nah, he's got a point though" b) "ayy get them, they deserve it" or c) "why would you say something like that lmao, what's wrong with you?"

A is him dissing Alejandro, B is Chris, and C is the dodgeball episode.

But him being mean to Owen is none of those things. Owen isn't a bad person, and although he makes mistakes, none of them are deserving of harsh criticism. Especially considering Owen is supposed to be, you know, his friend. And Owen is more capable than Noah this season, so it just lands flat. The only thing you can take away from Noah being mean to Owen is that Noah is an asshole. And true... but. Not in an interesting way.

By limiting Noah to just Owen as his main target of snark, it makes him seem like an asshole. Which is actually okay imo. Noah's a shitty person, and I like watching shitty people. But there's nothing gained from it in the show. Owen practically never calls him out on being shitty. In fact, even though Noah lost him the show and made everything more difficult, Owen remarks that "he's just happy to be with his lil buddy." Bruh... can someone save this man? Please? Sweetie, you deserve so much better.

There is ONE moment I'd like to highlight that challenges this. One episode, Noah is required to perform air guitar on stage. He's reluctant because he finds the whole thing embarrassing and his crush is watching and omg does Noah have stage fright? Is he shy? haha it's kinda cute and actually believable. Owen points out that he needs Noah to do it anyway, asking Noah to be his "hero." And Noah... does. He goes out there, he air-guitars away, and it's a really good moment. It shows Noah's flaws, how they affect the people around him. It's great to see Owen stand up for himself and confront him, and it's lovely to see Noah respond and change his stance to help his friend.

And then he refuses to help his friend a few episodes later. So... ehh. Good job, hero.

4)N*mma. I think what's wrong with N*mma is that TD writers are incapable of writing a woman being the romantic initiator unless they're crazy - Izzy, Sierra. Otherwise, the woman should ALWAYS be approached by the man first. The man should always be making the first moves or the first flirtations. After all, to keep tension in a relationship, there needs to be a question of "will they get together." And what man WOULDN'T want a girlfriend? What guy would ever turn down a gf? Whereas a girl can ponder and wonder and think "oh i don't know him that well, oh im not sure." But no one ever extends that waiting period to guys. They're just expected to always be down for women.

But Noah isn't an "average" guy. He's antisocial. He doesn't flirt, he looks down on romance, and he's never expressed concern about getting a girl. And he's never, ever, put in effort to woo someone. Never! Noah is very anti-effort. King.

But hey, TD needs to write him in a romance, and the only romance they write requires the guy to simp for a girlboss. So Noah starts simping for a girlboss. I must admit I don't think the idea of Noah simping is complete trash. But it needs to be worked up to. Or at the very least, denied until Noah can deny it no longer.

(Also when has Noah being into girlbosses? I know TD is into girlbosses, since they've written, like, 50, but Noah? Noah's has shown nothing but disdain for Courtney and Heather. Also there's the fact that Emma tries to cut Noah's hair against his will with a fish? And talks about marriage and family like... 2 days into their relationship? I'm confused why that isn't a turn off to Noah. He's the one who warned Owen about Izzy, right? He's the one who made fun of Sierra for being stalker? So why is he into it now? Answer me Fresh)

Anyway.... it's like Total Drama doesn't know the meaning of "gradual." And tbf, with 32 contestants and a half hour show time, it's hard to write a slow burn. They don't have the time for it.

Still, they could have done better. The easiest way to fix N*mma, imo, is to just rip off Pride and Prejudice plotline. Emma already has a kid sister. Like, imagine Emma and Noah dislike each other had first, mean sarcastic nerds that they are. They dislike each other, Noah has a crush on her but is hiding it, and is pushed to confess by Owen.

Doesn't work out because his confession sucks because Noah has ZERO social skills.

N*mma take some time off, Kitty falls into the ocean or smth, Noah rescues her, and Emma is like "wow ur a good nice person after all" and Noah's like "i just had to save her, i couldn't let her die" and then they kiss or smth. Like come on Fresh, why didn't you go with that? Pride and Prejudice is in the public domain!! Like no one was stopping you.

All in all, if N*mma had to be written, it should have been like I said, or Duncney style. Noah should be allowed to be mean and grow from it.

And that's what's wrong with N*mma. Noah is mean but does not grow from it. He gets Emma regardless of how he treats Owen. They're completely separate things. His struggle to get Emma to like him has LESS to do with Noah, and more to do with Emma's own issues. Like you're telling me Noah's in a relationship, and he's NOT the problem? He should have been the problem. Ughh.

So when I say N*mma was poorly written, I mean that it has insta-love, that Noah does not act like himself in the relationship, and that Emma doesn't make him a substantially better person. (I know he gave Jake the rings, but he doesn't help his own bestie in the end, ... so its rlly hard to say he's grown.)

Tl;dr Noah in RR is forced into a romance plotline he doesn't fit, and ditches the self-improvement plotline that we were all rooting for, ending up in the same place as he started. Noah's romance should have served to highlight his character growth not BE his character growth. It's peak TD writing, honestly. He betrays his team for his girl like Trent did in TDA. He falls for her as fast as Duncan did for Gwen in WT. And the way he treats Owen, his supposed friend, somewhat resembles how Leshawna chose to view Heather in WT. Sad.

[ariendiel]

Talk to me about our husband. I miss him.

it's always missing Noah hours on this blog (although if fusebox touch his character again I'll riot) 🤍 in conclusion, I'll of course gladly talk to you about our husband, so here are a bunch of random Noah headcanons for you ✨happy sunday✨

Noah headcanons

He learnt how to twerk and picked up a few other moves after attending dance classes with his little sister (she was too shy and timid to go alone at first, so he joined. I might be working on a prompt about this)

Go-to drink order is a dry red wine, nothing too sweet or fancy

He's about 192cm tall, and was super lanky and awkward for ages in his youth. He grew so quickly he's got a small scar on his forehead from where he kept bumping his head into doorframes etc

His mother is Filipino, and he dreams of visiting the Philippines one day – they've never had the means to go, but he does speak a tiny bit of Tagalog

His fear of grasshoppers stems from watching A Bug's Life when he was 5. He was so excited since his mum was taking him to the cinema for Christmas as a rare treat, but he left crying

I can see Noah having a strange soft spot for good horror films, especially psychological ones. Speaking of movies, he really can't stand it when people talk during them – hence one of the worst dates he went on being just that

Doesn't have facebook, and only reluctantly got other socials because his friends/siblings insisted. Updates his instagram maybe once ever quarter, and his twitter is mostly re-tweets of library/political stuff

However, he's surprisingly good at niche internet community stuff, e.g. Homestuck and squiddles

Has volunteered as much as he can during the pandemic, and brought his reading classes online despite his fear of zoom. Has also done a lot of grocery shopping for people who've had to isolate

Prefers to travel by train over plane, mostly because he finds it more relaxing and easier to read that way

Will eventually write his own book(s), and become the fairly successful author Hannah wished she was (I imagine he'll write slightly fantastical fiction, but feel free to insert whatever genra you prefer here)

Always has a secret stash of monster munch available. Always.

Re-watches the x-files whenever he feels in need of some self-care

The Hay Literary Festival is one of his favourite times of the year, and is partially why he thought Reading Festival was about reading... Because why wouldn't there be more book festivals to discover?

[myheartissetinmotion]

hoo boy do I have THOUGHTS

first of all, I really hope the finale isn’t made completely about the triangle-the promo may have been misleading to keep people buzzing; I trust the show enough to trust that they won’t hurt Simon and Rose along with the agency of Zoey and Max as characters simply to make them endgame bc so much has been built up and growing over the back half of s2-also Zimon deserves a real chance beyond a few honeymooning episodes, they could have a really good relationship if there was time to bring more honesty there. Having read the post-ep interviews, I have more hope for how they’ll handle this; all of these characters are people

now that that’s been said: THIS EPISODE WAS FANTASTIC OH MY GOD

I legit enjoyed it so much help

I am never going to get over the constant wonka references in DMD’s character given that Noah played him in the national tour-the writers really said “well we already know he can sing it” and I respect that sm; this character is positively fascinating

speaking of references, the jurassic park one was fabulous, although there is only one person in this cast who truly owns that line and it ain’t skylar (insert born to be wild soundbite here)

what an episode to air on mother’s day-dream a little dream of me was UNCALLED FOR and I WOULD LIKE TO FILE FOR EMOTIONAL DAMAGE but also it’s so heartfelt and real and Mitch and Maggie are the true relationship goals of this show

speaking of relationships, I almost didn’t realize until now how much I love Zoey and Max’s earlier dynamic; we haven’t really seen that since the pilot and I am just obsessed with their friendship-all of the little moments were just perfection and I’m reminded of why I was so hardcore team Max at the beginning of the series

when she was lowkey caught off guard by the thinking out loud serenade and serving some serious hearteyes…me too, girl, me too

SPEAKING OF. that duet was LEGITIMATELY ONE OF THE BEST THINGS THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED ON TELEVISION. the spontaneous harmonies sent me into the next dimension-they’re so EXTRA and I LOVE THEM

the way that everyone somehow manages to still look so good with their hair Like That™️ is truly a testament to how freakin gorgeous this whole cast is

I have to dedicate a whole bullet point to the manbun and Leifolas because it’s literally iconic

I’m so intrigued about Zoey’s early relationship with Leif-they seemed to be the beginning of a legit friendship at first and in the pilot as well

also Tobin and his emo look did not get nearly enough screen time (can these episodes just never end please and thank you there’s so much to be explored)

I have genuinely missed Mitch so much and it was an indescribable experience to see him as his fullest self

I am literally never going to stop talking about Mitch and Maggie and that relationship

Zoey is incredibly relatable in this episode, both past and present, in that reality is finally starting to hit her and not everything works out; in my life at the moment I am feeling that *hard* although it’s in different ways

in this house we appreciate Tony

I’ve never been driven by Uber but if I was I’d want Mo to be my driver (and now I want to see the next time they meet; I wonder if they remember each other-god I love that relationship)

I hope no one comes away from this with the implication that Zoey couldn’t have gotten the job on her own; DMD just didn’t see her work on it and maybe it was due to a dash of misogyny as well

DAVID AND EMILY. god I am a SUCKER for backstory of any kind and this episode DELIVERED

this episode really knew what it was doing with our emotions-from the packed lunch to that one shot where Mitch looked almost as he did with the PSP, there was not a dry eye tuned in to nbc tonight

I’m just not ready for this story to be over-there is so much more to be told and I desperately want to be part of it

[chrissyslittleartwork]

So...I might as well post all my Yu-Gi-Oh! OTPs. Not to mention it's to hopefully clear up like who I ship with who. I have had people think that just because Atem and Bast are together, that must mean Yugi and Catzi will be too. And let me just say, no. That's not the case. While Yugi and Catzi are the renicarnation of Atem and Bast, it doesn't mean they will end up together again. Yugi and Catzi are just good friends.

DestinyLoveshipping (Pharaoh Atem/Queen Bast) – This kinda speaks for itself. I always felt Atem deserved to have a good strong Queen by his side. (Not to mention I never shipped him with Tea…or Yugi for that matter. Seriously…why do people love Puzzle shipping so much? -_-; ) So, when making Bast, I tried to picture of what would be the girl he would fall for. And thus, Bast was born. She’s mature, quiet, strong-willed, and kind. She is also not afraid when facing off anyone she duels. Like her husband, she shows no mercy. I do feel like Atem would love her strong good heart. Her being beautiful is just a plus. Their relationship seriously makes me smile because omg the angst and feels. Ah! I love these two so much. CX

 

Loneshipping (Marik Ishtar/Catzi Kaioh) – I’m going to say this, over the years of me coming back to YGO every now and then, I feel like Catzi has gone through a few guys. First time I made her; she was with Yugi. Second time, with Ryou. And now coming back a third time, I loved Marik so much that I loved the idea of him and Catzi being together. I mean, I already did kinda ship them back then too. The thought of Marik falling for Catzi due to her feisty ways as well as the fact she is willing to forgive him despite what he did. This relationship just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. CX

 

Guardianshipping (Yugi Muto/Carrie Francess) – I have said it before but, this ship was kinda a crack ship. And this was before I decided to make Carrie a flexible character. Yup, she was still a DP character when I thought of this ship. But now, she is no longer tied to DP and now I am free to have her be any character I see fit. This relationship between the two has developed and thanks to my friend, she got me to love them very much. Just picturing Yugi being such a sweet boyfriend to Carrie just makes me heart melt.

 

Drawnshipping (Joey Wheeler/Yuki Fumiya) – As I have mentioned before, I am not the biggest fan of other people’s OCs. If they are well written and great characters, I am willing to make an exception. Luckily, someone I became friends with who helped me love ships like Guardianshipping created her own characters and she made some really good ones. Yuki is a nice character and I do like her relationship with Joey. Plus, it’s hilarious that she has a crush on him and he’s downright freaking clueless about it. XD Ah, Joey, I love you but man you are dense. I also like this pair way more than Polarshipping. I have never cared for Joey/Mai especially with their age gap.

 

Blissfulshipping (Ryou Bakura/Chrissy Major) – I don’t do a lot of self inserts. XD I have only done it once before and that was with SWAT Kats. But the fact I had loved Marik/Catzi, I felt so bad for Ryou. The poor boy is forgotten so much, I feel he deserves some love and attention. And by goodness, Chrissy would be sure to give him that love and attention. But she is respectful of his boundaries too due to his fangirls never leaving him alone.

 

Warmshipping (Chase Fumiya/Tea Gardner) Again, like with Yuki, Chase is an interesting character. Plus, the fact Tea being the only one to stand up to him besides his sister Yuki would make him start to crush on her. I like to think Tea would come to care for Chase and wishing to change him for the better. Not to mention, I never really shipped Tea with anyone (except with Kaiba honestly) like I certainly never liked her being with Yugi or Atem for that matter. With Chase, I can see this working out. ^-^ Not to mention she would keep him from getting in trouble.

 

Raidershipping (Thief King Bakura/Carmen Sandiego) – When I saw the Netflix’s Carmen Sandiego, I really loved the concept of it as well as Carmen herself. She is downright gorgeous, and I couldn’t help but like the idea of her being with Bakura. Her calm sassiness would go great with his sarcastic ego. Plus, she would probably be the only one to put up with him. XD I can picture the two going on missions and using their thieving skills to keep artifacts safe. Also, this would be after he has been redeemed.

 

Sideshipping (Tristan Taylor/Miho Nosaka) – Let me just say this…I don’t really care for Miho. So why is she in this? Because this Miho is different to what we saw in the season 0 anime. I never liked the fact she is just some gold-digging dense girl. She never seemed like the type to even hang out with Yugi and the others. I know they wanted to have it so that Tea is not the only girl, but seriously. There were barely any good things about her. So, for this, Miho is more like her manga self. She’s shy but caring and quiet. I feel like, if she wasn’t embarrassed by that mean teacher, I think Tristan would have had a shot with her. Plus, I don’t ship Tristan with Serenity. Why? The duel he, Serenity, and Duke had in the Noah’s Ark. Duke didn’t baby Serenity while Tristan did. He acted like she couldn’t do a thing for herself. True it was her first duel, but she could learn and I’m sure Duke could trust her to do that. Tristan didn’t and I feel like their relationship just wouldn’t last even if Joey were to let it happen. Plus, Serenity seems to like Tristan as another brother anyway. Like I said, I know Tristan can have a girl, and I rather be it Miho.

 

Honorable mentions since I didn’t include them here because I haven’t drawn them…yet:

 

Cheershipping (Duke Devlin/Serenity Wheeler) – As I said above, I ship Duke/Serenity way more than Tristan/Serenity. I just like how he is willing to believe in Serenity and the fact he says in the manga of how she helps him be stronger. I just…awe!

 

Empathyshipping (Seto Kaiba/Ayano Shibata) – Another friend of mine came up with this character after seeing DSOD. Like Kaiba needs some serious help, so she came up with a therapist for him and even ended up shipping her with him. It’s freaking hilarious XD and Ayano is great.

YGO characters (c) Kazuki Takahashi

Yuki and Chase (c) @shiroi-majo

Chris, Carrie, Catzi, Bast, and art (c) me

[boopsandbaking]

annnnnnnnd finally

the bombshells:

Priya: Leo - her being a lion is just a vibe to me idk. Leos are glamorous, fun, extra, passionate, all things Priya. they’re also fiercely competitive, and there are a few hints in game that Priya is too, during the CA limbo game and bed race. she always goes for what she wants (your partner, Noah) and likes to maintain her pride.

Lucas: Aeries - canon, and suits him. Aeries are motivated, confident, and witty, but they’re also a bit selfish, impulsive, and short-tempered. Lucas has no problem stepping on toes to get what he wants and has no patience for bullshit (see: breaks up with you if you kiss Noah for science) and he’s into motorbikes which is typical thrill-seeking Aeries. very blunt, straight to the point, it all works. HOWEVER he apparently has dialogue about being a Leo? SO WHICH IS IT FB? I think Aeries fits better but Leo suits him fine.

Henrik: Sagittarius - but like, not the Rocco type of Sagittarius. this also might be canon? I’ve definitely seen a comment SOMEWHERE about Henrik confirming in game. he’s adventure-driven, speaks his mind without caring what people will think of it, and often doesn’t think before he speaks/does things at all. he’s naturally social and funny, a good Sagittarius.

Chelsea: Libra - THIS IS CANON TO ME. social, charming, self-indulgent (see: baby scene when she is reminded that she can’t drink alcohol and her constant top-ups). Chelsea is a sweet, naive bean, a total people-pleaser, and just wants what is best for everyone. Libras are also VERY visual people who usually have great taste and style, she’s an interior decorator for crying out loud. she loves having admirers, falls into the trap of wanting what she can’t have, and is really indecisive.

Jakub: doesn’t fucking matter? I’ve never done his route, saved him after CA, enjoyed looking at him on my screen so like… maybe a Leo, based on ego? idk he’s an ogre I don’t even care.

Elisa: Leo? - I’ve never done a Marisol or Elisa route so she is always gone quickly and all I really know is that she can’t keep her mouth shut and is an influencer. she’s creative and outgoing and under different circumstances I feel like she would be really lovely and kind like Priya? sort of unfortunate how little you see of her if you’re not on a female LI route. she totally inserts herself into the Jo/Rahim/Shannon drama and is very dismissive and condescending during the beach day fight, all very fitting to a Leo.

Jo: Aeries - this bitch loves to talk, and she’s too competitive to not be an Aeries. she’s impulsive (see: kissing Rahim) and blindly optimistic (see: thinking kissing Rahim would just blow over and not be discussed?) and just a touch selfish. I am not a Jo fan but she’s not all bad. she’s very positive and playful. she’s also got a “live life to the fullest” ~vibe~ about her - she makes comments about Love Island being a fun holiday, and she’s a bmx racer, clearly somebody who enjoys adrenaline and fun.

I mighttttttt come back to Casa Amor guys/girls but I’ve never done their routes, Blake is a wasted character who we learn nothing about, and I genuinely am stumped on Shannon.

part one - villa boys

part two - villa girls

[caldoww]

Thoughts - Marriage Story (2019)

The films of Noah Baumbach make a concerted effort to keep their stories close to life as we experience it. Their dialogue is messy, meticulously so, the characters are painfully realistic and the camerawork is never flashy. But, in Marriage Story, Baumbach slides out of reality and into an overt display of character through pop-culture in two beautiful moments. Again, these moments feel so natural to the story world that they don’t register as anything other than normal. I don’t think I’m explaining properly - let’s get to these moments.

It’s Halloween, Charlie is going through a divorce and he has to beg to go trick-or-treating with his son. He gets a slot, but only after his son has been out already and is tired. Charlie got a handmade Frankenstein costume for his son, who refuses to wear it. Then we see Charlie in his costume - The Invisible Man. Too on the nose? I don’t think so. Using pop-culture in the film is not only realistic but it also speaks directly to the character of Charlie. He feels invisible, with no one understanding his situation or the difficulties he’s in. It’s also fitting that Charlie, as a theatre director, tends to see everyone through the lens of culture - in the climactic argument, he accuses Nicole of performing her emotions. But, as his world starts to turn against him, he becomes a character, his emotions and reality invisible to everyone. The lonely shots of him and his son walking the late night streets, looking for houses that haven’t run out of sweets are just absolutely heart-achingly beautiful.

Then in two back-to-back scenes, the movie becomes a musical. 

First, Nicole sings/performs at a family party. A Sondheim song called “You Could Drive A Person Crazy” from the musical, Company. Admittedly, I have not seen the musical, so my analysis will be missing something. She performs with her mum and her sister, for a room of her friends. It is the perfect ending to her arc, she is no longer performing for someone who is never satisfied, she performs for herself, smiling all the time. The lyrics are a scathing attack at someone who never treats the singer right, perfectly mirroring Nicole’s story. She sings on a bright day in L.A., finally free to direct her life.

Now, my favourite scene of the whole movie. Charlie is back in New York, on a dark night, having a drink with his theatre friends. He directs the conversation, back in control, before getting up to do some karaoke. He sings “Being Alive”, again from Company. Charlie starts by trying to have fun with the song, not taking it too seriously, until, very slowly, he starts to get more and more emotionally involved. This is added to with the slowest of push-ins that brings us closer to Charlie as he gets closer to the lyrics of the song. The song mirrors this feeling, with the start talking about the general “you” before switching to “me” near the end. This song is someone listing all the reasons not to get married, but with an undercurrent of loneliness. We see Charlie regretting everything that has happened and feeling incredibly lonely. The final moment, where he exhales shakily into the mic, gripping the stand with both hands shows how he has lost control of his self-direction. As someone who used to always be in control and prided himself for it, the insertion of himself into the performance and the obvious truth of it, is something he can barely handle. 

Another thing that makes these scenes so great is that the fact the songs are from the same musical might be suggesting that they watched the show together but they took different things from it. Another sad parallel to their marriage.

By using overt pop culture in a subtle, realist film, Baumbach is able to push specific emotions and allow the audience to come to a deeper understanding of the characters. The pop-culture fits into the story world and doesn’t disrupt the realist tone while also allowing for deeply personal and emotional moments.

[quinnmorgendorffer]

puckert, klaine, and blunder for the ship ask meme

thank you! and ohhhh boy lol

Let’s start with Blunder - which I obviously ship way too much lol

What made you ship it?

Just the whole show? Lol I think like most people it was all of “A New Attitude” and the “SAME!” scene. It just blew my mind to see this sort of plot from a sitcom? Like, I remember the first time I saw it back in 2013 I was just so amazed they even had them have sex and everything like. God. What a TIME. 

And lbr, I got so fixated on it because I just finished grad school when s5A came out and all my hyperfixations have happened when I’ve been transitioning to a new part of my life. G/lee was going into undergrad, Crazy Ex was going to grad school, etc. 

What are your favorite things about the ship?

The mountains of meta I’ve written on them just…I love that they are truly same but also not-same enough to balance each other out. The fact they truly understand each other so naturally. The fact they both actually do respect each other - even if Tony truly is the better magician. The fact they are both so truly, truly DUMB in every sense of the word. Like, you know there’s the fandom thing of just referring to any characters you like as dumb and all, but they are truly, truly SO FUCKING DUMB.

And, god, in the finale when Tony goes from yelling at Sally to just smiling and speaking so softly to Gob…the ultimate dynamic of him just melting in front of this goofball is everything.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Lol I think all of us think very similarly about the two of them, right down to the sexual dynamic. 

Puckurt - ship it (regretably to this day)

What made you ship it?

Honestly, it started with fanfics. I was a senior in high school during s1 (ugh if THAT doesn’t age me so fucking much…) and went on ff.net to see what people were writing and was a little surprised there was SO MUCH Puck/Kurt, since I assumed it would’ve been Kurt and Finn what with the canon crush/love Kurt had for him. And after that I just kept watching and started seeing things and this would be the best summary…

What are your favorite things about the ship?

THE PATRIOTISM. Lmfao, okay, there was this thing that literally every time they had a scene together, or even like NEAR each other, Kurt would wear stars and stripes. Like, when I ran Puckurt Week the 2nd time, it was planned purposefully over July 4th just for the Stars and Stripes theme. It’s quite possibly the best gifset I ever made lmao. Also in the “Me Against the Music” scene, everyone is coupled up in the background with canon couples - Tina/Mike, Finn/Rachel - and then Puckurt are together like WHAT EVEN. 

Beyond that, they just had a lot of sweet moments people just ignored like okay, Kurt’s dad was in the hospital in a fucking coma and little sweet fucking Noah “Puck” Puckerman, knowing Kurt didn’t want to hear about people praying for his dad, FUCKING TOOK HIS NANA TO TEMPLE AND PRAYED FOR HIM SINCE HE KNEW WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO NOT HAVE A DAD AROUND!!! “MY BOY KURT!” THE BARBRA-VENTION TO STOP RACHEL’S NOSE JOB!!! THIS LAUGH!!! THE PARALLELS IN THEIR STORIES!!! “THIS IS WHAT YOU’RE MISSING OUT ON, PUCKERMAN: TRUE LOVE”!!!!

And, again, I am all about the complementing dynamic. Bad boy Puck loosens up Ice Queen Kurt. The redemption of it all. Enemies to friends to lovers. God, I keep trying to make myself get over them but I know I never will.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Just the fact I still like it, probably? For what used to be the most popular Kurt ship, I’m sure it’s considered not cool to like it anymore. I mean, part of why I want to not ship it is, not just because I don’t want to be so attached to Glee, but because of what Mark Salling did/turned out to be. He’s scum and I had very much separated him from the character of Puck by the time he got arrested but STILL…

And now for the negative - I hate Klaine with a fiery passion

Why don’t you ship it? 

Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start, and then go from there with just (some) of my complaints (all of which and more could be found here lol)

Blaine calling Kurt unsexy (while knowing Kurt has a crush on him). Blaine saying Kurt was trying too hard with “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina” when he’s way more over the top. Him saying he wouldn’t go for Tony in WSS and then SINGING ONE OF TONY’S SONGS FOR THE AUDITION. Him literally PULLING KURT DOWN AND TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM WHEN KURT SAID NO REPEATEDLY Kurt and then KURT had to apologize for not being his “gay bar superstar”!!! If that was a girl, we all know people wold’ve called it out for what it was. and I cannot believe people still shipped them after that.

Then you add in how Blaine flirted REPEATEDLY with Sebastian but got mad at Kurt for texting another guy, and  Blaine cheating on Kurt and getting mad that Kurt was spending time AT HIS JOB and not paying him attention? The fact that just a few weeks after he was in a gay bashing he was upset that Kurt had muscles and was seen as hot because that was his role? I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE SHIPPED THIS AND STILL SHIP THIS!! Like it seriously concerns me that people like them so much!!! I’m all for liking ships that aren’t morally okay but the fact that people who like them think they’re HEALTHY…I don’t get why they like them.

(it’s because they’re all hot for darren and used kurt as a self-insert, like, literally, that’s what all klaine fanfic turned into)

What would have made you like it?

I actually liked them at first, but I hated them by the time Blaine kissed Kurt. If they had kept with the dynamic of Blaine being this mentor/ally who helped him build his confidence…if he had stayed consistent to his “Never Been Kissed” personality, I would’ve been on board.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

They still did my favorite version ever of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” and it will forever be on my Christmas playlists. And, I discussed this recently with a friend, but, honestly, “Never Been Kissed” truly was a landmark episode for television no matter what Klaine turned into and no matter how much the quality of the show went down with it. 

Send me ships!

[the-artsy-collective]

Hello! We are The Artsy Collective 🌻

[PT: Hello! We are The Artsy Collective]

We are a plural collective of 100+ people.

Please do not refer to us as a system!! For personal reasons, thank you.

We use the term "shift" when referring to the people in the collective, i.e. people that can access the body. We use the term "brain person" for any person who inhabits headspace (whether they can access the body or not.

Please do not involve us in syscourse!! We are pro-endo, but have some more nuanced takes on a lot of things involving plurality, but we won't discuss those here.

This blog is a way for us to engage in the plural community!

We will use the tags "(insert shift here) speaks" for original posts and "(insert shift here) reblogs" for reblogs.

Alphabetical list of frequenters and more info under cut.

(Intro posts are linked on the names)

Abigail (she/her) - communicator, anxiety holder, emotionalist, guide, emotional regulator, intermediary, impersonator.

Adelaide (she/her) - insecurity holder, music holder, secret keeper, emotional guardian

Aech (xae/xaer) - controller, core, medicine taker, hyperfixation holder, spin holder, tracker, rolemaster, gender holder

Alec (he/him) - aggressor (partially), depression holder, external protector, internalizer, pain manager, persecutor

Campbell (he/him) - trauma manager, energetic shift, stim holder, lunderemate

Crowley (he/she/they) - confidence holder, emotional processor, nightmare holder, protector, translator

Ghost (they/them) - dresser, intrarelatian, love manager

Layla (any) - admin, caretaker, chameleon, internal self-helper, vital

Lúkas (they/he/she) - persecutor, depression holder, impersonator

Mykey (he/it) - persecutor, aggressor, emotional processor

Noah (pronoun questioning) - internalizer, gender holder, gender dysphoria holder

Party poison (they/them) - mood booster, protector, praiser

Sierra (she/her) - communicator, socializer, thought reader

Steven (he/him) - admin, vital, steward, internal protector

Links to more info will be added.

(The Core's main is @artsyaech)

[onwesterlywinds]

In honor of One Last Step’s anniversary, I want to do a bit of a thinkpiece on it - in part for the possibility that breaking down my process might help other XIV writers, and in part because it’s been increasingly meaningful for me to reflect on, especially as I’ve stepped back from large-scale works like Livvy Plays Final Fantasy.

One Last Step might be one of the most personal pieces of fanfic I’ve ever written and shared! It reflects not only the moments that have been the most impactful for me as an individual throughout my time playing XIV (for better and for worse), but it also manages to speak to my own anxieties about growing up, about being a creator, and about becoming an increasingly public figure.

Hopefully the below thoughts will help others write similar works!

Self-Inserts

I’ve been very open from 2.0 launch about Livvy Ahtynwyb Eynskyfwyn being a self-insert, and what that means in the grand scheme of how I interact with the world of Hydaelyn through her character. Warrior of Light characters and self-insert characters have traditionally gotten a lot of backlash throughout XIV’s history; in my experience, there’s much less stigma for it now than there used to be, but I still see players say things like “I worry about what other people would think if I did [X].”

When it comes to how I write Ahtyn, probably the best analogy I can make comes from Shadowbringers itself: If I’m the “original” me, then Ahtyn is a facet, reflection, or “shard” of me. She’s taken on a personality of her own, metaphorically speaking, and is different from me in many ways... but I try to always write Ahtyn with my own values and experiences in mind. This takes just as much work as writing any other original character, because I’m constantly parsing through the question “How does this really make me feel, and why?” whenever something happens in the game or in an original plot. Being honest about where those emotions come from has had me build up a muscle of writing character reactions that are based on real feelings - and it’s undoubtedly improved how I write all my characters and their emotions across the board.

If that rationalization for having a self-insert makes sense to you, then feel free to use it for yourself if you ever make a XIV character that’s inspired by you.

Structure

For One Last Step, I decided to focus each passage heavily on the three major motifs that have defined Ahtyn’s journey as much as they defined her Amaurotine predecessor’s. In the end, each of the passages that made it into One Last Step fall into at least one of three categories:

Stories

Lone heroes; the mantle of heroism

Falling; being at the top of a cliff

I kept to this pretty rigidly, and I think it’s the biggest thing that makes One Last Step work. Some friends have told me that they recognized the consistency in the tone and the narrative progression without guessing any part of what it was all leading up to, which is super cool to me.

In some ways, One Last Step builds off the structure of A Kingdom Worthy of You, an Ashelia Riot piece of similar importance published in February 2018. They’re both split up into short passages that portray events of deep significance to the characters and their progression. You can also see this structure in Godhands, though those chapters are published separately and in non-chronological order but tell the same story throughout. (Please read Godhands.)

I like this structure for a few reasons, not least of all because when I write, focusing on ten small things helps take me out of my own head more so than focusing on one much bigger thing. (I’m also weak for anything with modernist quirks, especially a displacement of time.) Solidifying this structure with One Last Step has also been helpful to get me thinking about what gets left out of the things I write as much as what gets included, and to know when each passage, idea, or work has reached its natural conclusion. It’s an exercise in quality over quantity, especially when it comes to fitting all of the pieces together in a way that makes sense.

What Didn’t Make It In

There are literally three moments in all of XIV that have affected me the player but didn’t make it into this piece: Wilred’s death, Fordola’s interrogation, and Ba’Gamnan’s vision of the player as Noah van Gabranth.

At the time One Last Step was published, no matter how pivotal of a moment Wilred’s death is to my relationship with this game, I had trouble justifying fitting that moment into the piece. My efforts to include it felt stifled, because the only way I could quickly connect it back to one of the three above categories (the concept of “lone heroes”) was through Ahtyn expressing guilt that she was the one to set Wilred on the path that led to his death. But that guilt felt too focused on Ahtyn’s own sadness, as opposed to the tragedy and horror of Wilred’s fate, and he deserved a reflection that focused more thoroughly on his circumstances. I chose instead to focus on Ilberd at a couple points throughout One Last Step, a character who honestly has much more in common with Ahtyn than Wilred does.

Fordola’s interrogation is probably one of the most haunting scenes in the game for me, personally, in part because of parallels to my own family history. I’ve written about that here. I probably could have spent some time really digging deep with an in-character introspection of Fordola’s comments on heroism, and how Ahtyn keeps going despite everything; in the end, though, it would have had a lot of the same takeaways in Ahtyn’s conversations with Ryne. The only other part where I alluded to my personal family history is in the passage featuring Ahtyn’s sister Grehswys.

The Gabranth scene was an easy rejection: it happens from Ba’Gamnan’s perspective, and Ahtyn herself never knows about it, so it wouldn’t make sense to include it. In general, I wish there could have been more Return to Ivalice featured in the entire piece, but I’m still working out the specifics of Ahtyn’s and Hrjt’s adventures in Orbonne, and I didn’t want to write myself into any corners down the road.

What I think has been most incredible has been seeing how the piece keeps gaining new relevance in a post-5.0 world: details as significant as Ahtyn’s Allagan armor showing up at the Seat of Sacrifice or as small as G’raha having done his thesis on Allagan folklore has made me realize just how much I got right with this, even with no way of knowing it.

What I Learned

TL;DR:

You, too, can write a great self-insert character.

“Write what you know” can be as simple as sharing your own emotional gut reactions.

Crystallize “the point” of your piece and cut out everything else.

See also: Know when to stop just as much as how to keep going.

[pyxisblue]

The Sky’s Melody

Life is not kind to him, but he knows he can leave the safety of his heart to a certain melody.

|| After L!fe: Noah Kind // Yume-ish (can be self-insert), Heart-warming, A touch of romance, Angst: life struggles, mention of violence

In a serene afternoon when Noah decided to take a nap in the shade of a camphor tree, a beautiful sound had stirred his exhausted poor soul  to awake.

It didn't sound like an alarm clock demanding him to get off his blissful rest but instead, it was a melody that danced through the air and approached his ears with grace.

His curiosity piqued, he thought it's better to leave his comfortable napping place to search for the source of music that might be the one to save him.

The trace of the gentle notes led him to an arched window, a grand piano lies beyond it. But what caught his attention was the owner of the fingers that gracefully danced over the keys.

He felt his breath taken and for a very good reason.

She... she reminds him of the sky, a soothing view to his eyes, a wonder of beauty. Whenever life comes at him with all its terrible ways, the broad blue sky never failed to keep him company in his solitude against the harsh reality.

"Of course," he chuckled to himself.

He thought it's only natural for a beautiful melody to be made if the one who plays them is beauty itself.

And he realized he seemed to be half right. This melody would probably save him, and so would the person sitting in front of the piano with a frown and focused expression as her fingers worked her magic in the grand instrument.

Abruptly, the melody came to a halt. An evident frustration was painted on her face, something Noah thought was still adorable. Though, it had bothered him why she'd make such an expression.

Was something bothering her? Was she upset about something?

Standing by the tree across the window, he found himself wanting to know more.

Why did she suddenly stop playing?

Just as when he thought it'd be the end of his dream, she began playing again.

However, she'd always come to a stop. Then, she'd try it again from the start. It didn’t sound so bad as broken record repeating from the beginning, but it seemed like the music was stuck on something.

Although the red-headed man was not musically inclined, he realized she was frustrated about the piece she was playing. His mind buzzed with questions... why?

Since then, it became a daily routine for Noah to stop by and listen to her play.

She was trying to complete the piece, and that became evident when he realized she was adding a different sound every time he listened to it. He was surprised at himself for recognizing the differences no matter how subtle it was. It just showed how often he'd sit under the shade of the orange gingko tree outside the room just to hear her music.

Though, it was a mystery how she never noticed him. Probably, the unfinished piece was enough to blur the surroundings for her. He loved that part about her. The way she crinkled her nose whenever she tries to think, the way her brows furrowed when she hits the wrong key, the way her eyes burn in concentration as she tries her best to solve the puzzle of this melody... It all seemed to draw him in, like how art speaks only to the soul.

The days that passed seemed to be gracious to him until one day, the lady stopped coming. 

He thought he’s used to all the punches life could throw at him, that he could take on anything, but the empty music room behind the large arched window had proved him otherwise. He casted a somber look upon the silence of the grand piano that represented the loneliness he felt in his heart.

The next few days weren't kind to him as well. Emptiness and silence only filled the room, telling him his days of a blissful afternoon had come to an end. There'd be no more melody to caress his often ragged soul nor would there be a peaceful retreat for his broken heart now that he couldn't see her.

"Ah. It's time to go back to reality," he bitterly whispered to himself as he turned away from the Gingko tree and resorted to leave after the few days. But as a familiar figure appeared before him, he stood rooted to the ground.

"You've been listening all this time, weren't you?" She wore an expression he couldn't read.

Was she upset that he had been secretly listening? Was she mad at him because he looked like a stalker?

Before words tried to clamber their way out of his mouth in a form of an explanation, she spoke.

"Would you want to listen to it inside? I heard it will rain today," a sheepish expression and a slight blush was on her face.

He couldn't help but break into a huge grin. The lady had invited him to listen to her in a front row seat. He was so delighted; he thought he's flying over the clouds.

Once they were inside, she tried to pull a chair from the side for him. He was quick to take it to save her from the hassle. Besides, he'd never let a woman lift a thing for him, probably even over his dead body.

A hint of pink crept to her face when he gave her another smile as he took the chair.

'Adorable,' he thought to himself. 

He wanted to say that out loud, but he felt the sudden compliment would cost him the rare welcome. And so, he resorted to looking at her with fondness as she settled in front of the grand piano. He placed the seat with a few meters of distance from her, so as to not overstep into her comfort zone.

The wonderful melody started as her fingers go through the keys.

Ah, yes. This... this was the rescue he always needed. Just as he thought that dark clouds will loom above him forever, a clear sky has opened up to him with hope.

It was a reverie he'd keep in his heart for eternity.

With every second of the moment and every note of melody, his heart was filled up with a joy he couldn't explain, chasing away the hollowness the tragedy of his life made.

It ended with a pleasant sound, like a story with a gratifying closing line. She stared at the keys with silence for a few seconds before her inquiring eyes held his gaze.

"Uhm... what do you think?" He could hear the quiver in her voice.

'She was nervous,' he realized, finding another thing to adore about her.

"Did you make it yourself?" His question was met with a nod.

"It's... it's the first time I played it after I completed it," her gaze darted away from his as she tried hard to hide her embarrassment.

It made him feel privileged. To be the first to hear it, a mixture of happiness, giddiness, and something pleasant he couldn't quite put his finger on brimmed his chest.

"It was..." her head whipped to his direction again as she anticipated the next words to come, "like the sky to me, a sanctuary."

Her pretty eyes grew wide and eventually, tears ran down as she beheld a sight before her that stirred an unexplainable bittersweet feeling within her. Noah had a smile on his face, but his eyes told her of the sadness he was carrying all this time.

A sanctuary.

For days, he couldn't describe what the melody was to him. All he knew was it was healing. Now, he finally found the exact word.

But it confused him how it made her cry. He felt a pang on his chest as her tears came out. Man, he wanted to beat himself up for it. However, she said something he didn't expect.

"Thank you." She wore a smile of her own that somehow melted his heart. 

Unconsciously, his hand reached for her face and wiped the tears away. Although she flinched at the contact, she didn't pushed it away.

"Will you... let me hear you play again, right beside you?"

She blinked once. Twice. When it finally dawned upon her what he had meant. She answered, abashed.

"O-of course. You can listen to me play for as long as you want."

His hand stayed on her cheeks despite the absence of the tears. He looked at her tenderly for a moment before he blurted out something without shame.

"Even if it's for the rest of our lives?"

The surprise on her face made him chuckle. He was ready to declare it as a joke when she said...

"Sure. Even if it's for forever."

It was his turn to blush. The bold action and words had made his heart beat faster than any of the life-threatening situations he had been. 

"Then, I'm going to hold you to it," his lips formed another wide smile, something she responded with her own.

After a few seconds of the sweet moment they shared, she began playing the piece for him again. This time, he sat beside her, in the same long stool she was on.

The melody once again grace the air as it brought a new feeling with it, a beginning of love.

It was her who created a place of peace for him, something he had already given up on. As it opened a possibility for happiness, he didn't want to let go of the melody that brought him to her.

She came to him like the clear sky, offering what his life couldn't give him... hope.

And since then, Noah knew: he could leave the safety of his heart in the melody that is her.

------------------------

This is a story I made for an After L!fe friend, Sky. She composed a piece played in piano that inspired me to make this fiction.

May all of us find a sanctuary in this life that will make us stay.

[ethereal-drivel]

Tell us about your DnD characters!

wah!!! so i’m currently in two campaigns, i’ve had some one shot characters but i’ll talk about my main two:

quacea is a cervitaur druid, who grew up in a very small community of other deer people. they worship the moon and really love small animals! they had fallen in love with a halfling woman when they were young, but struggled with the fear that they wouldn’t be fully accepted, and eventually ran really far from their home continent, and stayed with a drow wizard who was studying the medicinal properties of local plants (and possibly the poisonous aspects?? he was a bit of a shady guy) but they still were able to have a place to live and continue to learn about druidic magic past what their family could teach, but eventually they couldn’t take his moodiness and reclusiveness, and so they wandered onwards! and eventually found someone looking for adventurers to hire, and in need of a group to feel connected to they agreed!

doto is a little owl kenku wizard, they grew up in a lighthouse on a small island with their adoptive human mom (brigid) and grandpa (noah) . their mom and grandpa kept up the lighthouse and when brigid could take care of it herself noah started to really get into studies about magic and the spirits of the ocean, and doto learned magic through all the books noah had accumulated. doto is able to read a lot of languages but obviously can’t really speak as a kenku (hint hint this is a self insert to process my semi-verbal life/non-verbal childhood) but they’re trying to learn how to restore the curse put on kenku to lose their speech! they also love to steal >:3